#and i haven't reached this ep yet

[parkjihyo]

FRINGE || “Over There: Part 2” 2.22

[nineraeix]

he's he's he's he's he's he's

[yeahivegotanaccount]

A bit of random notes. Non-Ushiromiyas and non-magical beings seem to have dark hair. But Battler's parents are reversed. Do hair colors carry significance Maria's eyes-style (ESPECIALLY with battler/ange sharing it and Shannon being slightly blonder+Lion) or is it strictly about easy visual separation? Way too many exceptions (Rudolf notably cares only for money part of Ushiromiyas and uses makeup so it'd work as an intentional disconnect but sumaderas and amakusa and tohya just desttoy it)

Kinzo's daughters have the same fringe, born out of Beatrice I.

Grandkids don't adhere to it, but they also don't adhere to axis-powers names (Actually, they kinda shifted into more american names with the notable exception of Senta-Battler. Is it a misunderstanding of the tradition? Didn't Kinzo make an input for the names? So it feels kinda like relating themselves to occupation)

[softichill]

god i wish tma explored more of michael. i want to see more about michael shelley and his emotions and mind even after the distortion :[ banging my head against a wall. hes so

HE'S SO!!!!!!!! I wished they at least showed more than one clip of pre-distortion Michael talking!! Something beyond how he interacted with Gertrude. The current archives staff are already wildly unprofessional with what they record on these tapes I'm sure at least some of Gertrude's staff were the same, I wanna hear conversations between Michael and other workers!!!

[qpids-here]

Eh it’s just a piece of it. Apparently they found a medieval tomb underneath the guy’s apartment, I was given the option to go to the dig and I found it there. I thought it looked cool so took it home, I put it on my door and soon after there were no more pests coming into my house. I did some testing and I figured out what was going on. You see I keep a large number of cursed and enchanted objects in my closet so I just added this to my collection. I overfilled my closet so I’m just getting rid of a few things. I gave Hotguy a Bag Of Wind, Mother Spore a Dream Visitor, and Ariana Griande a Rose Of Song.

-Button

(Guess what I’m listening to right now.)

A medieval tomb?! That wasn't in the case file?!

...In your closet? Have you been stealing from the archives????

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

But Daddy I Love Him - Jacaerys Velaryon

A/N: Oh hi! First of all, thanks for all the love on my last Jace fic. I'm sorry it's taken so long to post my next, I've had a crazy couple of weeks, but I wanted to make to get something out before this week's episode. I can't believe there's just 3 eps left of the season! I am hoping to get my Jace chapter fic out before then, so I have put most of my focus there. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!!

TS Prompt #8: But Daddy I Love Him

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Lannister!Reader Word Count: 5.3k Synopsis: Jace and the reader fall in love, much to the displeasure of the reader's father.

Warnings: smut

Jacaerys Velaryon is beautiful.

It is tourney day in King's Landing, and your eyes are stuck to him as he makes his way out into the arena. Around you, there are scattered conversations whispered not low enough, about how the prince has matured in the last year, how handsome he has become.

He has not yet put his helmet on. This leaves his hair out, curls whipping around him in the gentle breeze. He flicks his hair back and there is a chorus of awes around you. You smirk at the reaction.

"The arrogance," your father, Jason Lannister, mutters from your side. You barely spare him a glance, not wanting to remove your eyes from Jacaerys.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

"He's showing off," your father says, disgust in his voice.

"It is a tourney," you say, "Isn't that the point?" He doesn't respond, just continues to monitor the arena space.

Jacaerys mounts his horse and with bated breath, you watch as he accepts the lance from the Master of Revels. His opponent is a knight you haven't met yet, a Ser Estermont. He has done well in the tourney so far, though, which makes you nervous.

As both men prepare to make their joust, you lean forward in your seat, needing to see as closely as possible, what is about to happen.

Unlike the matches before, this one is over in one round. Jacaerys aims his lance to the perfect angle, and expertly knocks over the knight from Greenstone.

Applause erupts from the viewing gallery, and you nearly stand up and cheer, you are so relieved about his win. Jacaerys rides around the stands and stops in front of the gallery you sit in. He lifts off his helmet and smiles in a way that makes your heart race.

"Lady Y/N," he says, and you think you hear discontented sighs from behind you. "Might I request your favor, that I may excel through the rest of this tournament?" You smile and reach for your wreath of flowers. For one moment, your father grips your wrist, as if he means to keep you from going. But it does not last long. No matter what your father may think of Jacaerys, he is still the prince, and future heir to the the throne. To deny him would mean scandal.

As you approach the railing, you try to fight off the grin at seeing him. Jacaerys extends his lance so that you may drop the wreath onto it easily.

"Thank you, My Lady," he says, eyes locked onto yours.

"Good luck, My Prince."

He rides off into the arena, garnering more applause from the stands, as you return to your seat. There are jealous eyes upon you. Even your father looks angry. But you pay them no mind. There will be more rounds, and Jacaerys is sure to succeed time and again, which will have him request the favor of more ladies.

Smiling as you sit down, you think of the girls who will bestow upon him their own wreaths. You might even feel bad for them, for surely, they will assume that his attention means he might court them. But you know that his affections lie only with you.

To you, the prince was just Jace, and you had loved him since you were a girl. Three months ago, he had declared his love for you, too, and ever since, the two of you had been hiding your love, waiting for the right moment to proclaim your intentions.

"He did quite well," you say to your father, making another effort to talk up Jacaerys to him.

"Ser Estermont was an easy opponent," your father says, disinterest and dismissal reflected in his tone.

Once the tournament is over, Jace makes his way into the castle. Several lords and ladies stop him on his way, congratulating him on his victory. He thanks them in passing, his thoughts only on getting into the castle, where he knows he will find you.

There is a feast to be held after the tournament, and while most everyone heads that way, he dismisses himself, saying he wishes to change before then.

When he turns down the hallway towards his quarters, the area is empty. The guards that usually stand at his door were at the tourney and are now sitting down for the feast.

You come around the other end of the hallway, your red dress immediately drawing his eye. You glance around cautiously before breaking into a run, launching yourself into his arms. He catches you easily, laughing as his arms settle around you.

"Oh," you say on a breath, pulling back just enough to face him, "You have no idea how worried I was for you."

"Have you so little faith?" he asks with a smile.

"I believed in you," you say, hand to his chest, "But belief doesn't change the fear that comes at watching a lord twice your size sprint at you with a lance."

"I'm alright," he says, his hands running gently along your back. You smile at him and lean in to kiss his lips softly. Jace hums contentedly into the kiss, his arms wrapping tighter around you as he pulls you into a corner and deepens the kiss.

Together, you stay locked there for a long moment, relishing the quiet that is so hard to find. Jace's hands travel through your hair and over your body, greedy to get his fill of you while he has you.

"I should get to the feast," you say softly when you break for air, your forehead pressed to his.

"Stay with me," he says, entwining his hand with yours.

"My father will be looking for me," you say. Jace's smile drops. "I'm trying," you say, "To sway him to our favor."

"I know you are."

"Your victory today should help with that," you say, giving him a small smile. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Thank you, My Lady," he says with a laugh. "I'll see you at the feast."

"Yes, My Prince."

By the next week, your father's attitude still hasn't changed. At the feast, you tried to talk about the prince, but he wouldn't hear anything of it. Jace had even come over to greet your family. Your father was diplomatic and only spoke to the prince for as long as he had to.

"I don't get why he won't give his blessing," you say, looking down at Jace. His head is in your lap, his eyes closed. He is so peaceful at this moment, you hate to bring this up again, but there seem to be fewer and fewer times for the two of you to be together. Even now, you are supposed to be with other ladies of the court, practicing your needlework. Instead, you snuck off to the Godswood to be with Jace amongst the blossoming trees.

"I'd be queen one day," you continue. "What more could he want for me?" Jace opens his eyes and looks at you with a frown.

"It's because of the rumors about me," he says lowly. You want to say he's wrong, but you wouldn't even believe yourself. The rumors of Jace's parentage had only grown in the last few years. It seemed that as he became older, and King Viserys grew sicker, the accusations only multiplied.

"I don't care about that, though," you say brushing your fingers through his hair.

"You should," he says, taking your hand in his own. "There are some who would see my brothers and I slain, rather than see us inherit our birthright."

"All the great houses swore allegiance to your mother," you say, squeezing his hand. "And you are her trueborn son. To do so would be--"

"Treason," he says, "But there are still those who would try it."

"My father wouldn't," you say. "As stubborn as he is, he is loyal to King Viserys, and by extension, your mother." Jace sits up, a serious expression on his face.

"Tensions are high amongst my family," he says, taking your hands in his. "In the entire kingdom, really. I am worried what may happen. Your father is smart, and that is why he must worry, too."

"You all fear something that may never come to pass," you say, "Are we to be separated in the name of what ifs?"

"We are to be separated until we can convince your father that I can keep you safe."

"And how do we do that?" you ask. Jace lays his head back on your lap.

"I don't know," he says.

The room is dark when you enter your father's quarters that night. He sent word to your lady's maid to see him immediately, but she couldn't find you until now, because you and Jace had been intwined in the Godswood all afternoon.

"Lady Clegane said she did not see you today," your father says right away, before you can even greet him. "Were you not to be under her tutelage this afternoon?"

"I don't need to study my needlepoint, Father," you say, stopping in front of him. "No man alive cares how well his wife can stitch."

"You were with the prince, weren't you?" he asks, standing. He towers over you, but you hold your head high, meeting his gaze.

"Why don't you like him?" you ask. He merely shakes his head.

"It is not a daughter's job to pick her husband," he says, "That duty lies with her father."

"And who would you have me marry instead? A lesser lord of the Westerlands? Someone directly under your control?"

"If that is what I demanded, yes," he says, bracing your arms. "I raised you to obey me, Y/N."

"No, you raised me to cage me," you say, tugging from his grip. "I would be Jacaery's queen! There isn't a more advantageous match out there for me. Yet you refuse to even hear us out, because it is not of your doing!" His face reddens, a telltale sign of his rage. You have never raised your voice to him before, and are now slightly scared of what he may do.

"I think it's time you return to Casterly Rock," he says lowly.

"What?" you ask, momentarily stunned.

"Your time in King's Landing is over," he says firmly. "You have become disobedient and careless."

"Father--"

"Do you think I am the only one who sees it, Y/N?" he asks, taking your hands in his desperately. His eyes are wide and pleading. "Do you think no one saw the two of you in the Godswood today? That no one can see the secret looks you exchange? That family is shameless, and I will have you take no part in it.

"I will not allow your reputation to be ruined by the prince's," he says. Tears begin to form at the finality of his words.

"When do I leave?" you ask, setting your jaw as you fight off the tears.

"I'll escort you the day after tomorrow, so you can make your goodbyes," he says. He can't meet your eyes.

"Very well."

Jace is speechless when you tell him. He found you sitting outside of his chambers the next night, tears streaming down your face. He invited you inside, a hurtle the two of you had yet to pass until then, and held you close while you told him your fate.

"We'll only have tonight," you say quietly.

"Maybe it's for the better."

"How can it be when it separates us?" you ask, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"Just for now," he says, brushing your hair back gingerly. "When things relax, we can try to convince him again."

"How long will that be?" you ask, "He'll have me married off as soon as possible, I know." Jace frowns down at you, his eyes searching for an answer in yours, that he knows he can't find.

"I won't stop fighting for you, Y/N," he says. "I promise."

"I won't either."

"We'll find a way," he says. You nod your head, a new wave of tears incoming, and relax into his chest. He holds you in his arms for a long time, his had tracing patterns along your back. The fire is nearly out in his hearth, and the room grows dark quickly.

"When did he say he wanted you back?"

"Fuck what he said," you say, looking at him intently. "I am not leaving your side tonight." With a hand to his cheek, you bring your lips together. The kiss is slow, a bit salty with the tears streaming down your face, but it is all he has ever wanted. He tries not to think about the fact that this might very well be the last time he ever gets to taste your lips, ever gets to hold you.

But it seems that your thoughts go there as well. Quickly, the kiss turns passionate. Your teeth scrape against his lip, like you can take him with you to Casterly Rock. His hands move down your body, to places he hasn't dared to explore yet. As one, the two of you move, so that he has you pinned to the couch, his body atop yours in a way he's only dreamed about before. You moan into his kiss as his body rocks into yours.

“Y/N,” he says breathlessly, forcing himself to break away from your kiss. Your lips are red, swollen from his touch. Your hair is spread out around you in a cascade of curls. It is torture to see you like this and not bring his body clashing into yours again.

“What?” you ask, your hand trailing down his chest, as if you need to touch him however you can.

“We should stop.”

“Why?”

“If anyone ever found out, you would be disgraced. Your father already doesn’t like me, I don’t want to give him any other reason to—“

“I’ll tell you something right now,” you say, “My good name is mine alone to disgrace. Being here with you now, doesn’t change a single thing about my honor.”

"Are you sure?"

"I need you, Jace," you whisper. You are barely able to finish the words before his mouth meets yours again, fiercer than before. He doesn't stay there too long. He needs to taste you everywhere, savor every moment he's got left with you.

His lips move across your face and down your neck. He loves the sounds you make when he bites down softly, the way your back arches your body into his. He sits the two of you up for just a moment, so that he can pull at the laces along your back.

When the top of your dress falls, he stares at your bare chest for a long moment. You smile at him, your skin flushed.

"You are so beautiful," he says. You grab hold of his face, kissing him again as you fall back onto the couch. Jace palms your breast, kneading gently as you whimper into his mouth. You pull at his clothes, too, until you rip his shirt off over his head.

Skin to skin now, Jace breaks from your lips to kiss down your chest. He lingers for a moment on your breasts, but his need to take you is growing too urgent. He moves down lower, tugging your dress down with him until you are fully exposed to him.

"Y/N," he says on a sigh, marveling at the sight of you.

"I love you."

"I love you," he says, dropping his lips to the folds at your center. The moan you let out is nearly enough to send him over, but he won't deny himself the opportunity to feel what it's like to be inside of you. He focuses on your pleasure, kissing the sensitive bud at the apex of your thigh, watching your face with rapt attention, seeing what action makes you cry out, which makes you thrust into him.

When you cry out his name, his watches proudly as your body clenches, waves of pleasure roll through you. Jace keeps up his actions for a few moments longer, tasting and savoring the moment as you come down.

When he sits up, he watches the rise and fall of your chest, the satisfied smile on your face. He kisses your lips passionately, treasuring the little sounds of happiness you make as he does.

He drops his trousers next, rubbing his cock against your slick folds. He presses into you slowly, barely able to keep his control, his need is so great. You gasp as you take him in, grabbing hold of his shoulders. He begins to rock into you, his movements gentle. As your sounds become more frequent, he picks up his pace, until the only sound he can hear is your cries of pleasure, and the collision of your two bodies.

He comes soon after that, his body collapsing on top of yours. For a long while, the two of you lay there, sweaty and happy, waiting for your breathing to return to normal.

"Jace," you say on a breath, breaking the silence first.

"Yes, my love?" he asks, his eyes meeting yours.

"This cannot be the last time," you say, cupping his cheek.

"It won't be. We'll find a way, I swear."

It's early morning when you return to your chambers. Your father collects you an hour later, and although the look he gives you suggests that he knows where you were, thankfully, he doesn't say anything.

The journey to Casterly Rock is long, taking nearly three weeks, and the entire time, your thoughts are on Jace. You bring him up a few times with your father, but after the most recent, he stops looking at you, stops speaking altogether, and rides astride his horse, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

When the news of King Viserys's death breaks, you hear it from your lady's maid. You shoo her away when she tries to finish braiding your hair. You know you should feel sad - Viserys was a great king, and had been sick for a long time. The last time you saw him, he looked like a walking corpse, and you had to avert your gaze.

But his passing means that Rhaenyra will be crowned queen. She will return from Dragonstone, where she fled just a week after you left King's Landing, and Jace with her.

You run from your chambers and burst into your parents' quarters, and find them talking in hushed, urgent tones. Your mother turns at your arrival and the look on her face scares you. There is panic in her gaze, mixed with a sadness that seems to grow when she sees you.

"Y/N," she says softly.

"I just heard the news."

"Yes."

"I expect we'll be leaving for King's Landing soon?" you ask, looking to your father. "For Princess Rhaenyra's coronation?"

"My dear," your mother says, a hand out to call you to her side. "Maybe you should sit down."

"What is it?" you ask as she sits you down in front of their empty hearth.

"Rhaenyra is not going to be queen," your father says.

"What do you mean?"

"Aegon has been crowned."

"He usurped the throne?" you ask in shock. "Are we gathering our bannerman? Should we--"

"Y/N," your father says with a sigh, taking your hands as he sits across from you. "We won't be calling our bannerman. We are supporting King Aegon."

"You swore allegiance to Rhaenyra," you say icily, looking between your parents' faces.

"I can't explain it all to you, daughter. There is much you don't understand."

"Uncle Tyland?" you ask quietly. Certainly, your level-headed uncle would see reason, when your father could not.

"He sits upon Aegon's small council," your father says.

"How long has this been planned?" you ask, moving away from your parents. The room suddenly feels too suffocating. Watching them, waiting for their response, you catch a quick look between your parents.

"How long have you known about this, Father?" you ask, stepping closer to look him in the eye.

"Rhaenyra was never going to be queen," he says lowly. "Regardless of the parentage of her sons. Although, that certainly didn't help her cause." You pull back from him, a look of disgust on your face. "And Aegon will make a good king."

"What will happen to Rhaenyra? To her sons?" you ask, the second question coming out broken. He doesn't answer. You look to your mother, hoping for some words of support from her, but she shares the same sad look on her own face.

"You've known this for so long . . ." you say, thoughts racing, "That's why you wouldn't approve an engagement between Prince Jacaerys and I."

"Yes," he says, "And I won't feel sorry for it. He'll be killed, no doubt. I don't want the same fate for you."

"But Daddy," you cry, calling him by a name you haven't in years, feeling as helpless as if you were still that child, "I love him!"

"It's already done, Y/N," he says, pain in his eyes. You let out a strangled sound before sliding down the wall.

"I'm having his baby," you say through a sob.

"What?" your mother asks urgently, crouching at your side. "What do you mean?" But no words come to you. The tears are falling too fast, any words choked by hiccupping.

Eventually, they bring you to your room. They both asked more questions about the baby, but you don't answer them, you can't. You don't trust them.

Your father had known this fate would befall Rhaenyra, would befall her sons. He knew you loved Jace, and he still let it all happen.

The next morning, your mother comes into your room. Her eyes are bloodshot, with dark circles underneath them. She brings you a cup of tea and kisses your forehead, before she says anything.

"Tell me about the baby," she says. "Are you certain?"

"No," you admit, bringing your knees to your chest. "But I haven't had my blood in a few weeks." Your mother nods and looks down sadly at her own drink.

"You'll need to drink moon tea," your mother says softly.

"I won't."

"Then you'll need to get married immediately, and claim the child as your new husband's."

"I won't do that either."

"Y/N," she begins with a sigh.

"You've already slammed the door on my whole world, I won't let you take this one last piece of him I have. If I am to have his child, I will keep it and I won't claim it as anyone else's."

"You'll be ruined," she says. "And if Aegon finds out that your child is Jacaerys's--"

"He won't. Nobody needs to know."

"Your father won't like this," she says gently. "You do not wish to make him angry."

"He's been angry. I've made my decision."

The next week, your cycle arrives, and you cry all day long.

"Sending another raven?" Rhaenyra asks, stepping out onto the cool balcony beside Jace. He gives her a tight lipped smile and nods. "Have you heard back from her?"

"Here and there," he says. He has been sending ravens to you for the past two weeks.

"I'm sorry your feelings fell into the middle of this mess."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Mother," he says seriously. She gives him a sad smile, a palm to his cheek.

"Baela tells me you have a plan to get her out," she says. Jace looks at her with wide eyes. He hadn't technically asked her permission, and what he was doing would be dangerous for their position.

"I know I should have told you," he starts.

"Yes, you should have. I would like to help," she says. She laughs at the bewildered look on Jace's face. "Do you think I would let you suffer here, knowing she's there, probably suffering too? Tell me your plan, Jace."

So he does. He gives her the same instructions he just sent to you. She gives him her support, while offering a few suggestions. She leaves him on the balcony after, giving him space to think over his plan, and to try and quell the hope building up inside of him.

All he is waiting for is one word from you, and he will enact this plan.

A day later, a raven knocks at his window, waking him from sleep. He leaps up immediately to grab its message, and finds just one word, written in your handwriting.

Yes.

On the morning of your escape, you awake with a smile on your face. It has been weeks since you felt anything at all. Your lady's maid enters into the room to ready you for the day, and you greet her, "Good morning."

"Good morning, My Lady," she says, looking at you in bewilderment. You're not sure you've spoken to her since you arrived at Casterly Rock. "I trust you slept well, then?"

"The best yet," you say.

As she moves about the room, getting your clothing together, you make sure to pick out the dullest dress in your wardrobe. When she sits you down to do your hair, you have her tuck your tendrils into a woven braid. Everything for indiscretion, or this plan will not work out.

When you walk into the breakfast room, your parents are gathered around a table. You give them a kind smile, playing the part of the dutiful daughter, knowing that your plans for escape were all laid.

"Good morning," your mother says, an air of suspicion in her voice.

"Morning," you say, sitting down next to her. "Good morning, Father."

"You haven't forgotten about your commitment today, I hope?" your father asks.

"No, I remember I am meeting with Lord Lannys today," you say innocently. He studies you for a moment like he doesn't believe you, but then his expression changes, or he forces it to. He forces himself to believe that you have finally pulled out of your darkness.

"Perhaps I'll accompany you down there," he says, "It's been a while since I have checked in on Lannisport."

"No," you say quickly. "You said you'd let me go with just a few guards."

"So I did."

"I have so little freedom," you say, "Am I to be chaperoned every day of my life?" The look on your father's face is one of remembrance, that this is the behavior he expects from his daughter.

"You will stay close to your guards," he says firmly.

"Of course."

"Our world is not as safe as it once was."

"I know."

"Very well."

You thank him and your mother, and when you bid them farewell, it is bittersweet. You try to see them as the loving parents you had when you were younger, but now you only see the causes of your heartbreak, and know that you're making the right call.

"When will she be here?" Joffrey asks impatiently, for the third time.

"Soon, I think," Jace answers.

"Why has it taken so long?"

"You don't have to wait with me, Joff," he says with a look to the younger boy. "It takes a long time to get here from the Westerlands."

In his plan, Jace had wanted to assure that your route would not be easily followable. The plan was for you to go to Lannisport and get aboard a ship that would take you to Seaguard. From there, you would travel by horse to Gulltown, where the Arryns would assure you passage to Dragonstone.

Yesterday, he got word that you arrived to Gulltown safely. If all went well, you would be in Dragonstone anytime now.

But the waiting was agony. Many times, Jace thought about saddling Vermax and flying out to you, just to get one glimpse of you. He knew himself, though, and knew that if he saw you, even from the air, he wouldn't want to let you out of his sights. He needed to wait patiently.

He was as bad as Joffrey, though.

When he finally sees your ship on the horizon, his heart starts beating faster. He rushes from his balcony and makes his way through the castle. Joffrey tries to keep up, but Jace loses him somewhere along the steps leading down to the shore.

Jace gets to the pier just as the small boat does. He doesn't think he is breathing as you step off the boat. Your eyes are searching for his and when they find him, a smile breaks across your face. You run towards him and he does the same, meeting you in the middle of the pier.

The second you are in his arms, you break down into tears. You cling to every part of him, your hands needing to touch him, needing to know that he is well. He realizes he is doing the same, his hand tangled in your hair, the other on your back.

"Oh, it's so good to see you," you say, pulling back just enough to look him over. Before Jace can say anything, you kiss him quickly, but fiercely.

"I'm so glad you're here," he says, hugging you again. You laugh, squeezing him just as tight.

"You're probably exhausted," he says, taking your hand and leading you back towards the castle. "You've had a long journey."

"Just a month," you say with a shrug, making him laugh.

"Well, you deserve your rest. I'll bring you right to my room," he says, "But there's one thing you'll have to do first."

"What's that?" you ask, furrowing your brow.

"Speak to my mother."

Dragonstone castle is not that much different from King's Landing, but it's unfamiliar, and unwelcoming. At least, the men sitting around Rhaenyra are. As you stand before them, some of your courage starts to slip.

"I am relieved to see you here safely, Lady Y/N," Rhaenyra says with a gentle smile.

"Thank you, Your Grace," you say. She stands and moves closer to you.

"I am sorry for having to do this, but seeing as your house has pledged their support to my brother, I have to ask where you allegiance lies," she says, stopping in front of you.

"With you, of course," you say immediately.

"You must know the risks, Y/N," she says, "You could very well be killed for supporting my claim and Jace's." For a moment, you glance back at your prince, and gather strength from his encouraging look.

"I'd burn my whole life down before I listen to another second of my father's scheming, and well before I bend the knee to Aegon Targaryen," you say.

"I love your son very much, I would never do anything to jeopardize his future, or yours, My Queen." Rhaenyra gives you a smile that is so much like her sons. She nods her head.

"Thank you, Y/N. Welcome to Dragonstone."

"Thank you, Your Grace," you say. Before you can even turn around, Jace's hand is in yours. He is looking down at you with a smile.

"Come on," he says, pulling on your hand gently. He leads you through the castle, up to his chambers, which will now be your own, he explains.

Once the doors close behind you, he is upon you, wrapping you in his arms as he kisses you. You smile into the kiss, realizing that this is not a dream, or just a passing moment. You'll get to stay in his arms for the rest of your lives.

"I love you," you say when you break away. "Thank you for getting me out of there."

"You're my lady, Y/N," he says, "And very soon I'll make you my princess. Of course I sent for you. I love you."

You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing your body into his again as your lips connect again.

"You must be exhausted," he says breathlessly. "You'll want to sleep."

"All I want is right here."

[sims-himbo]

THE SIMS 4: BARBIE Legacy Challenge!

oh hi there! i haven't posted here in a while, but i just watched the barbie movie a few days ago and needless to say, it is now my entire personality. so here's my first ever legacy challenge based on barbie's many, many careers and achievements!

apologies in advance, this challenge uses a lot of packs! i'm sorry! i might try to make a base game version at some point

BASE GAME version

portuguese translation by @demaciana-sims

sims 3 version by @appaloosawhims

challenge rules below the cut

All heirs must be female and named Barbie. (non-heir children may have any name)

You may use the freerealestate cheat for your first house, but try not to use money cheats after that!

You are allowed and encouraged to use lot traits and rewards to boost skill gain, anything that’s in-game is fair game.

Packs you will need:

EPs: Get To Work, City Living, Cats & Dogs, Get Famous, Island Living, High School Years

GPs: Spa Day*, Parenthood

Optional packs (for the optional generations):

EPs: University, Cottage Living, Horse Ranch

GPs: Strangerville

*You only need Spa Day for the High Maintenance trait in one of the generations and nothing else, so it's fine to skip out on it.

You've been raised with traditional values: find a good man, start a family, be a homemaker... But you want your children to aim higher, so you'll make sure to set them up for success.

Complete Successful Lineage aspiration

Max Parenting and Cooking skills

Have at least 3 kids and 1 pet, each child must complete at least one child aspiration and they must all max out their grades in school

Must have Family-Oriented trait

Your mother was happy staying at home, but not you. You're ready to fight your way to the top and make enough money to support your family for generations to come.

Complete Fabulously Wealthy aspiration

Max Charisma and Logic skills

Max Business career (Investor branch)

Must have Ambitious trait

Your family is pretty wealthy, so you've used your funds to open up your very own vet clinic and follow your dreams of being surrounded by furry little guys all day! But it might be more difficult than you thought...

Complete Friend of the Animals aspiration

Max Veterinarian skill

Run a 5-star vet clinic

Have at least 3 pets and be good friends with all of them

Must have either Cat Lover or Dog Lover trait

You grew up surrounded by pets, and you now want to explore even more of the animal kingdom... So you're going underwater! What magical secrets will you discover on your journey?

Must live in Sulani

Complete Beach Life aspiration

Max Conservationist career (Marine Biologist branch)

Become a mermaid

Max Logic and Fitness skills

Must have Child of the Ocean trait

Your mother had an almost supernatural level of fitness at sea, so now you've been inspired to master fitness on land! You're determined to reach your full potential in physical performance and become a world class champion.

Join Cheer or Football team as a teenager and reach highest level

Complete Bodybuilder aspiration

Max Fitness and Charisma skills

Max Athlete career (Athlete branch)

Must have Active trait

Your family has achieved many, many accolades, and you've set out to capture all of it in an epic Tell-All novel that you spend your entire life writing!

Complete Bestselling Author aspiration

Max Writing skill

Write Book Of Life and bind it to your parent, use it to successfully bring them back from a premature death

Must have Creative trait

Movie stardom is the next logical step for your lineage, so you set out to conquer the silver screen. Will you catapult the family name into even greater heights, or will it now be associated with infamy?

Complete Master Actress aspiration

Max Acting skill

Must reach at least Proper Celebrity status

Must have a secret affair with a fellow Actor!

Must have High Maintenance trait

As the child of a successful actress, people may roll their eyes and immediately write you off as yet another nepo-baby trying to start a music career... So you must prove them all wrong by becoming a proper rockstar!

Complete World Famous Celebrity aspiration

Max Singing skill

Max skill in at least 2 instruments

Max Entertainer career (Musician branch)

Must have Music Lover trait

What's next after conquering so many careers and reaching worldwide fame for the family name? World domination, of course! Become the greatest Leader this nation has ever seen!

Complete Mansion Baron aspiration

Max Politician career (Politician branch)

Max Charisma skill

Must have Self-Assured trait

Now that you've conquered the world, it's time to venture out into Space! There's so much to explore out there, and Barbie must leave her mark all across the galaxy.

Complete Nerd Brain aspiration

Max Astronaut career (Either branch)

Max Logic and Rocket Science skills

Go to SIXAM at least once and bring a souvenir

Must have Genius trait

Still want more? Here's some extra Barbies that you can play with!

Secret Agent Barbie

Complete Bodybuilder aspiration

Must have Active and Geek traits

Complete Secret Agent career (Diamond Agent branch)

Max Logic, Fitness and Charisma skills

Become enemies with a Sim in the Villain branch of the Secret Agent career! (You may need to cheat this career level for sims outside your household)

Countryside Barbie

Complete Country Caretaker aspiration

Max Gardening skill

Must make all money from gardening, farming, wine making, etc. No day job!

Must own a horse and have it max every skill

Must have Animal Enthusiast trait

Army General Barbie

Must live in Strangerville

Complete Strangerville Mystery aspiration

Max Logic and Charisma skills

Max Military career (Either branch)

Must have Erratic trait

Scientist Barbie

Complete Nerd Brain aspiration

Max Scientist Career

Be abducted by Aliens at least once

Must have Genius trait

Ultimate Barbie

Set lifespan to long

Complete at least 2 child aspirations

Complete Renaissance Sim AND Academic aspirations

Max 10 skills

Have 12 or more traits

Graduate from college

Reach the top of any career

Have a house worth 1 Million Simoleons

Have at least 5 kids and max your relationship with all of them

that's about it! if you play this, please use #sims barbie legacy

have fun:)

[dramadramallama]

not really analyzing much, just making a few notes of the things that stood out to me in the first 4 eps of light shop. i haven't read the webtoon so it's more like i'm blindly pointing at things like a child hahaha

NAMES

All (?) the names called out when the teacher does attendance in the first episode have a (direct) translation (to something positive.) I noticed because 1. some of them are really unusual, and 2. they ALL are words, like no one's just named Ji-soo or something in this class lol:

Ip-sae (입새) - entrance/beginning

Nu-ri (누리) - (old fashioned) world/universe

Ha-neul (하늘) - sky/heaven

Gi-ppeum (기쁨) - joy

Eu-tteum (으뜸) - fundamental/basic (possibly: "the first")

Ga-eul (가을) - fall/autumn

Chuk-bok (축복) - wishing happiness/blessed

Bo-bae (보배) - treasure/priceless

Mi-rae (미래) - future

Do-dam (도담) - (possibly from 도담하다) be bold/stand out/accomplished (?)

Haet-sal (햇살) - sunlight

Now you're gonna say, well Hyun-ju (who keeps going to the light shop as an errand for her mom) is also in that class! She's seemingly the only one with a "normal" sounding name. Out of curiosity I did search hers, and interestingly, I found a few meanings too: 1. address of residence, 2. water used in ancestral rites (!) 3. stay in the present, live life (!!)

Side note: Haet-sal is also the name of the Detective's (unborn?) child. He chooses the name himself out of the ones his wife wrote down. It could be a coincidence, except most of the first names she pre-selected are the exact names of the students in that class.

I can't read all of them, but there are a few I recognize: Gi-ppeum, Ha-neul, Chuk-bok, Eu-tteum, Bo-bae... (there's also Sa-rang "love", or Haeng-bok "happiness" in the list)

HYUN-JU AND HER MOM

We're not shown Hyun-ju unconscious in the hospital, like all the other main players who are trying/failing to find a way out (the will to live/the will to move on)... But she clearly also is at the threshold between life and death. Maybe she is living, but able to unknowingly go between worlds?

The light shop seems to be the doorway to "home" or maybe "heaven" (as evidenced by Mr Twisty Legs, who keeps trying to "reach" the shop, and when he does get there, he doesn't cross the threshold and loops back to his solitary karaoke session in the dark rainy alleyway.

Dead or alive, Hyun-ju is basically invisible. She hangs out with her friends but she is not interacted with. It's really fun, if you go back and watch the scenes, no one directly talks to her, looks at her, or touches her. When she speaks, she's not acknowledged by the three friends. It's really clever: something's off, but it can be attributed to the girls being chaotic, not purposefully ignoring her. Eu-tteum is the only one who, barely awake, at the frontier between dream and reality, finally "sees" her. It's directly after that event that she sees the other ghost/spirit, whose body is missing (and whom the Detective is still looking for)

Hyun-ju's mom is revealed to be the body being embalmed. Her spirit (soul?) has a conversation with the Funeral Director and when she asks, "am I alone?" she surprisingly sounds relieved when he replies that she is. Is she relieved her daughter is not with her (meaning not dead yet?) She also cries and is worried about being left in the dark, which parallels painfully with the fact that she keeps seeking light, apparently asking her daughter to get her light bulbs over and over. The Funeral Director reassures her that she'll go to a place where it's very bright (=the Light Shop being very allegorical here)

Hyun-ju and her mom also live on the 8th floor of that apartment building, while the Intensive Care Unit is also on the 8th floor at the hospital. Bus Stop Guy also lives on the 8th floor of Hyun-ju's apartment building.

BUT... maybe Hyun-ju is the one keeping her mom from passing on, stubbornly buying her light bulbs that bring no light, and inevitably end up in the trash. Or is she helping...? Has she been dead ever since she was little (she still has that necklace she had as a kid, with her info on it in case she gets lost) and has been waiting for her mom all this time? The Shop Keeper even emphasizes that he sees her as a small child, unwrapping the candy for her.

When offered, Hyun-ju always picks the yellow (=light/sun) candies. The whole show feels like a giant allegory about Light and Dark, Life and Death.

SYMBOLISM/FOLKLORE

I don't know much, but I do remember that a common horror trope in Asian legends/stories is that ghosts can be recognized because they "clap with the back of their hands". I immediately thought of that when they show the Lady in White's weird hands (the inside of her hands is actually the back of it. The nails are all wrong, I FLINCHED) She's strangely interested in whether people are "alone" or "together", and who "knows" each other. She also needs to be invited inside explicitly to step into Bus Stop Guy's house, like creatures in a lot of folk tales.

The Shop Keeper never welcomes his customers inside... but greets them by asking a question: "how did you get there/what brings you here/how can I help?" The lights in his shop are not to be touched.

The Detective has a defective lamp on his desk, and cannot seem to light up his lighter anymore. He also sees people/things he shouldn't. The Nurse says "if you see people who are on the border of life and death, doesn't that mean you are too?" which obviously, he is now, since we see him in a hospital bed in the ICU. Maybe his wife and child are waiting for him to wake up...?

Lots of imagery with mirrors, which are common symbols for doorways, a limit between two worlds.

I know it's not, but New Tenant's outfit is also very reminiscent of a hospital gown (first image). When she settles in the new house, she puts away her shoes and does not seem to notice the bright red heels (the same ones the Very Tall Extremely Scary Woman wears, indicating she is inside the house with her).

The song my guy Mr Twisted Legs sings (badly) to give himself courage is the same one the Nurse makes her patients listen to (and the same one she was listening to when she was in a coma herself, "wandering aimlessly," "almost giving up" before she found her way back to the living). The characters on life support can all interact with each other in the alleyway, but are also completely isolated from each other: New Tenant does not hear Twisted Legs' cries over her own, and vice versa, even when they cry out for the same thing, "to get out of there."

They all share the same space in the ICU, but are locked in their own world. Do their collective consciousness populate that "other" world, mixing up elements of their life and memories?

Clearly, the theme of the deceased, unable pass on peacefully, who remain behind (due to something unresolved?) is prevalent. Does it create--not ghosts exactly--but an energy, an entity embodying the "regret," the "mourning [of] something they lost"?

Now, what I find interesting is: what does "I want to leave, I want to go home" mean for each of them? To peacefully pass on, accept death, move on, and forget? Or does it mean to fight, to find the will to live, thanks to those who wish us well? Is the Light (shop) the way back to life, or the way to the after-life? Or both?

[sunflowerpastels]

Roses and Thorns (a Cinderella Boy/Stargoth poem)

inspired by eps. 53 and 54, from Buddy's pov

you are soft and free as the petals of a rose

I am rigid and harsh like the thorns

we should never fit together

we both know it so very well

but somehow I can't keep myself from falling

like a moth to a flame I keep getting closer

though I know that, like Icarus, I will only get burned

we're on two sides of a war

another doomed tragedy to add to the list

another Romeo in love with his Juliet

I've said and done too many awful things to you

so how could you look at me that way?

as though you haven't been pierced by my thorns for the hundredth time

don't hold me like you love me

my heart can't take it, so please, don't keep reaching for me

this is a fairytale but there's no happy ending

I'll only hurt you in the end, why do you try?

don't you see I'm a villain?

it's the role I always play

you should know this by now... it's the only way I know

we both have our roles

and there's never a tale where my story ends happily

you always get your reward in the end

your prince and your palace

but what do I get?

nothing but punishment and pain

the pain I deserve for the person I am

but you want to save me from fate?

you want to rewrite my story, change the way it ends... why?

it should be impossible

you shouldn't even try

don't you realize I'm a hopeless case?

yet somehow I'm beginning to believe

that somehow you might be the one who can save me

after all, if anyone could save a thorn from it's harsh fate, it would be a rose

[kandadze]

(Haven't started a rewatch yet but I live there now anyway, so-)

I just realized how the half-forced healing ZYZ did for ZYC in ep 4 seems to be a foreshadowing of the trajectory of their relationship as a whole, including their final moments in ep 34.

In ep 4, at this particular moment in the story, ZYC initially moves his hand away from ZYZ'S - he has every reason to believe that he doesn't need ZYZ's help, and he sure as heck doesn't want the demon in his personal space, much less *touching* him. When ZYZ gently but firmly reaches for him again, grasping his hand, ZYC still shows signs of resistance - that jaw clench, that feeble attempt at withdrawing - but he pretty much lets the healing happen, as if resigned to the fact that he's not strong enough to put up a real fight at this point.

But then (and on my first watch I paused the vid and started enthusiastically pointing the very fact out, loudly, no doubt freaking out my neighbors), once the healling is done and ZYZ makes a move to release ZYC, it is our swordsman who has to *uncurl his fingers first* to let ZYZ's hand go.

Now we all know how the turntables and in the following episodes, while ZYZ keeps helping and supporting ZYC in various ways, ZYC is the one to start repeatedly offering his hand to the demon in turn (the only instance I can think of in which he actually got a hold of ZYZ's hand first instead of just offering was when he wrapped his fingers around ZYZ's to prevent the casting of the one-word spell in the Bingyi cave).

As we reach ep 34, we have a tragic mirror of what happened in ep 4 (no pretty gifs of that scene exist, afaik, please point me in the right direction if I'm wrong). This time, ZYC is hurt in a way that can't be healed. This time, he wants and needs ZYZ to just *be* there, to stay. And ZYZ simply reaches out, waiting for ZYC to meet him halfway - because this time, he won't override ZYC's resistance, no matter how gently. It is now ZYC's decision to grasp the demon's hand. And it is ZYC's decision to then release ZYZ - in the most devastating meaning of the word - before ZYZ can make a move to let go.

[nickmarini]

Hi Nick :) I haven't finished Downfall yet but I wanted to tell you that the way you play Ayden makes me weep with joy. I just finished episode 100 last night and the way Ayden bears the burdens of the world on his shoulders and chooses love and kindness anyways heals something in my heart. He gives me strength to keep being kind through despair. So thank you 💜

���😭🙏 thank you so much for the kind words. It is an honor anytime someone resonates with a character in such a positive way. Being kind is healing to ourselves and to others. It’s a way we can spread the light and positivity and I’m so glad you’re feeling that. Truly. And if you’re going through a tough time and also being kind then that is a testament to you.

Also I do not want to spoil anything and this feel like a very meaningful and beautiful exchange that I truly appreciate but based on your username @dragonrightsarehumanrights please reach back out after you’ve watched ep 101.

💛🌞🙏

[absolutebl]

Hi!!! I'm a big fan of BLs, I really love all types, but I stopped watching and keeping up with the news ones around the summer of 2023. Do you have any recommendations of BLs that I should start with again that have come out since spring 2023. Or like a best of 2024 list? It's a bit overwhelming trying to jump back in and I'm not sure where to start again! Thanks :)

My top 2 BLs of 2023 both got 10/10s from me and they were:

I Cannot Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Japan Netflix?

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen. Full review here.

Our Dating Sim

Korea Viki

This is a perfect short form KBL, an office set reunion romance featuring geeks that really suits 8 eps with no fluff and no chaff. Just comforting and yummy. I adored every aspect from the casting to the pristinely simple premise to the quietly smooth execution. Sure it’s low stakes, but that makes it high domesticity and extremely warm and gentle. This is a fuzzy blanket of a story - a cozy BL. It lives in my rewatch pile and you know what’s best about it? Every single episode is in that pile. There’s no skipping with this one, it might be good natured and calmly sweet but it’s tight and the pacing is excellent. Full review here.

Here are the rest of my best of 2023 round ups:

Best of 2024?

I haven't started any 2024 round ups yet but here's my current working top BLs of 2024. These are the ones I gave a 9/10 (no 10/10s from me this year, sadly):

Century of Love

Thai Gaga

This is a very pretty drama about a young man who fell in love with a nice girl 100 years ago, and when she died in his arms, he was cursed to live until he could meet her reborn self. Only this time around, she’s reborn into the body of a man. Or is she?

 Cherry Magic (Thai remake)

Thai grey

A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth that really worked for me. With no-fuss execution from a consummate team (at GMMTV) and an OG lead pair (proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up). Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right - not comparing it to any other iteration.

Cosmetic Playlover

Japan Gaga

I love this little show more than most. It's a classic office BL about the older workaholic who loves his job and the younger upstart who unexpectedly loves his boss.

Love For Love's Sake

Korea iQIYI

KBL isekai about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness.

Sugar Dog Life

Japan grey

This is a phenomenally charming and adorable little romance about a forlorn university kid and the police officer who adopts him. They are relentlessly kind to each other, in fact it’s an extremely kindly show over all (everyone in it is so nice to everyone else including us) so there’s very little tension. But what it lacks in drive and complexity it makes up for in earnest acts of service and simple affection.

The Rebound

Thai iQIYI

Actually no one liked this as much as me. This was a sports romance Thai BL pulp with everything I could have asked for given this sub genre. More, actually, since MeenPing are both great basketball players and the team component really did form part of the connective tissue of the show (vital in a sports romance). Meen has his shirt off within the first two minutes which is all I needed but he's still pretty great as the sullen secret keeper against Ping's cheerful survivor - childhood sweethearts torn asunder and now reunited.

The Sign

Thai YouTube

This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, PNR, fated mates, police procedural, fantasy, mystery, suspense, and slasher. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it.

Unknown

Taiwan YouTube & elsewhere

Unknown is a wonderful BL with a pitch perfect portrayal of long term pining, age gap, and the stepbrothers trope. The acting and chemistry are ON POINT (especially from the leads) which made the resulting characters very believable.

Wandee Goodday

Thai YouTube

A charming quintessentially modern Thai BL about a doctor and a boxer who start as a one night stand and then fall in love. Great rep for everything from Muay Thai, to safe sex, to FUN sex, to ace, to bisexuality, to smiley kisses, to the first legal gay wedding in a Thai BL.

For me this was GMMTV's best of the year.

We Are

Thai iQIYI

I unabashedly loved show. It was slow to find its stride (I didn’t get into it until ep 6) but I’m so glad I gave it a chance. It’s a soft ensemble piece with multiple couples and very little plot, but I didn’t care because it’s not trying to be anything more substantial.

There you go. Hope these hold you over until the end of year round ups.

Welcome back!

And HAVE FUN!!!

It's been a good year for BL.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 163 spoilers and thoughts that are making me procrastinate on like all of my work but its totally fine below the cut

.

.

.

i am so serious i was completely tricked into thinking this would just be a light episode with some ominous foreshadowing but still some answers for how to defeat fate. i thought we'd be in silly haha territory now and that soon we'd reach the end and everything would be wonderful now and they can finally have what they want. I WAS PROVEN WRONG

YOU. YOU TRICKED ME FROM THE GETGO BY SETTING THE MOOD OF THE EP TO BE SILLY OFF THE BAT. YOUR STUPID CUTE HAIR BEING MESSY WHEN U WAKE UP AND THOSE SILLY ASS D*SNEY ANIMALS. YOU YOU YOU YOU RAPHAEL YOU FOOLED ME

it's super cute and funny that his singing and his general demeanor is so fairytale esque that animals and people just love him even though he tried to destroy what they were working on . he looks adorable with messy hair. i wanna see it more. cute and blond. but also. FUCK YOU

like we went from that to this and i was like "oh my god they're gonna have a bonding moment" and i was so so happy i just,, i really thought,,,,

like he looks so pretty here!! and then javier says something so sweet and so javier-brand of affectionate and they're being funny about it and it's so cute and they're all smiley afterward in the reflections of the water so its like "awww stupid fucking idiots being happy at each other without even really knowing it i love them so much" AND THEN.

STUPID FUCKING OMINOUS REFLECTION GOT ME ALL WORRIED. BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF RAPHIE AT THE START AND WENT "nahhh thats just. yknow. the normal foreshadowing at something bigger. they haven't even gotten answers yet. it's fine" oh lynn. oh girl you had no idea.

like they're so close to the truth cmon they wouldnt dump what they need to do to stop fate AND whats going on w javier at the same time right? ha. ha. ha.

ominous panels aside POOR LLOYD,,, OF ALL THE SECRETS HE COULD HAVE CHOSEN,,, he had no idea its not fair </3 we got blushy lloyd as a result i love this panel btw he's very very cute. super duper bug of him. i really like that the artist has been drawing the two of them at this angle a lot recently they look so stupid i like it a lot

ALSO JAVIER DO YOU. HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY. WHY DID HE ASK THAT I. JAVIER U CANT JUST ASK PEOPLE HOW DEE- WHAT THE FUCK

and then we got hit w javier being worried and i was like "man me too buddy, im worried too but im sure itll be oka-"

DEATH FLAG. WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT LLOYD OH GOD. i read this and my worry that was briefly washed away IMMEDIATELY came back . tged is very good at giving me tonal whiplash. i dont think thats a bad thing but also its not good for my health either so. /lh

AND THEN WE GOT HIT WITH THE JEWEL OF TRUTH SECTION AND. AAAAHHH AAAAAAAAHHH the darkness that lloyd is in, he's all alone when he hears this god i . oh god i have so much to say okay

it's kind of hard to go shot by shot with this section because all my thoughts are overlapping with each other but ill try my best???

he's immediately pushed into communication between just him and the jewel and shrouded in a very very isolating darkness. there's so so so much empty space and all my yapping about how much lloyd has been isolating himself for the sake of finally protecting his loved ones kind of comes to a head here. and then we hear the truth...

lloyd is a BUG. the fact that he EXISTS is a problem that has been the catalyst of all the pain and work that he and javier have had to go through, so so early in the story. he's essentially being told that its HIS fault fate is threatening their lives. AND WOW THAT HURTS. how do you cope with being told that?? how do you manage that???

and on TOP of it all, in order to fix it, he has to choose. rid the world of this bug, or let the bug take over. THAT'S SO EVIL

the only way to protect his loved ones is to forfeit his protection over them, giving up his life. and yet the only way for him to continue being there to protect them is to lose the life of the one he absolutely loves most, javier. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT

the moment he hears this he falls to his knees. im so fucking ill IM SICK . THIS IS SICK AND TWISTED!!!!!!!!!!!

some more thoughts on the language and just. inherent despair of this section:

i think the choice of calling lloyd a bug is so so so heartwrenching. i don't know if it's an intentional thing by the writer/adapter or if it's just something they defaulted to since the world is considered a system, but either way it makes me so damn emotional

i'm a computer engineer, so i take some computer science classes too as part of my major, and one of those fun facts that you learn in those classes is that debugging/bugs became common terminology in compsci for a very silly reason. "bugs" as a word to describe error and defects had been present before, but it became conflated with programming due to a team of programmers actually finding a moth, a true to life Bug, interfering with their computer and thus messing with their program.

see, the JoT could have called lloyd anything. an error, a mistake, a problem, hell even a glitch would have worked. but they specifically said bug (and again whether or not thats intentional is up for debate but i will treat it like it is)

and the thing about bugs, the thing that haunts me now, is that without them the rest of the program (theoretically) works fine. if that moth hadnt entered the computer of those programmers, then their code would have been operating smoothly. the system would be chugging along well.

the knight of blood and iron would be functioning just fine.

yeah it'd be sad, yeah javier would have lost everyone, but it would have gone exactly as the program was written. the memory allocated for the class lloyd_frontera would be freed, and the story wouldn't have had to call on it, ever. but lloyd, the bug, the moth, stuck around. errors ensue.

and often, bugs are HUMAN error. it's a problem in a human design, not a natural glitch or mistake. the moth wouldn't have been able to enter that computer if it was built differently. bugs do not appear naturally. and they do not go away until you go back to where the bug appears and FIX IT. lloyd cannot fix the story, he can NEVER achieve the happy ending he's always wanted, because the program will always be bugged because of HIM.

suddenly too, all the little changes that have happened in the story thus far make so much sense. all of those events happening EARLIER than they should have completely tracks.

the choices lloyd made - to defeat neumann, defeat lacona, go to cremo, go to the capital - pushed javier's presence ahead, and i know that's like really really obvious, but coupled with this bug analogy i feel insane because

something that's very common in programming in general are function calls, where on the side you have the function written out all complete, and in your main code you can just say the name of the function. when it compiles, itll know what to refer to when it sees the name in your main code.

something else thats very common is conditionals! y'know, your classic "if (comparison here) then do (this thing here) else (do this thing here)", you might have seen this before (or not, im not sure how well versed tged tumblr is on programming which is why im explaining this)

and u think back to javier being there EARLY and oh. ooohh....

if (javier.location == magentano.event_location(banquet)) {

kyle_betrayal(alicia);

}

this function, this betrayal, was called early. THIS WAS CALLED EARLY because a certain character object, lloyd frontera, changed the state of javier's location way sooner than it should have happened. a bug. a bug. a bug. a bug made the code jump to this conditional. he's been a bug this whole time

and you think to when the glitches on javier first started appearing and oh. oooohhh. the object referred to as javier, disabled the "protagonist" variable on him and passed it onto lloyd. but that won't do, because all these functions for the ENTIRE STORY rely on javier's class object. how can it call on lloyd instead? lloyd should have been freed, aka the memory storing his little array of data, should have been REMOVED. CAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE

theres more examples of this throughout the whole story that maybe ill list another day (as much as im yapping about it, its really not that hard/deep on figuring out where things were called early lol) but yeah yeah yeah. yeah this is so so evil and i cant believe i didnt put two and two together earlier. this analogy is SO EVIL WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME

apologies for the jargon btw. i have no idea if i explained this right or if anyone else really knows what im talking about but i've been losing it over this for the entire weekend ALKDFJLSDKF

WHATS WORSE IS THAT IVE BEEN CALLING LLOYD A BUG FOR LIKE. ACTUAL MONTHS. I WOULD REFER TO HIM AS A CREATURE AND AS A LITTLE ITTY BITTY BUG AND NOW I FEEL SO SO TERRIBLE BECAUSE HE REALLY WAS A BUG. I MADE A SHITPOST AND EVERYTHING (that ill prolly post later) THAT I HAD NO IDEA WOULD. AGE POORLY SOB SOB SOB

I AM SO SO SORRY LLOYD. I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sniffle,,, sob,,, anyway,,, thats enough yapping about bugs and programming and lloyd being a bug,,, back to the anguish

the following section is just. god ow ow OW. the shaking linework, the shadows setting in at the top with the dramatic bottom lighting, and the blur on javier as he loses focus and starts truly, truly panicking makes me INSANE. artist you're making me CRAZY!!!

javier truly has no idea either but god dammit he's trying his best to help, but how can lloyd explain this to the man whos completely and utterly loyal to him to the point of sincere devotion? if lloyd tells him, whos to say that javier - the martyr that he is - won't just give up his life for him? god that's so... GOD. GOD GOD GOD WHY AGHHH

AND AGGHHH AGGGHHHH THE FLASHBACKS TO THE P PANELS OF SUHO WORKING SO SO HARD TO REACH THE LIGHT. GOD FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK

ITS DIMMER ITS HARDER TO REACH AND OH MY GOD THE PANEL OF LLOYD REACHING UP EVEN IN HIS PANIC TOWARDS HOPE. THE THOUGHT THAT "ITLL GET BETTER ONE DAY" COMFORTED HIM AND KEPT HIM ALIVE BUT NOW ITS BEING RIPPED FROM HIM I FEEL ILL. EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL

this panel of that light going out . not much words on this i just feel sick to my stomach. why would u do that.

and finally at the end of the chapter we have this incredibly HAUNTING panel of lloyd panicking. the despair here is UNREAL. the lineart is shaken and messy and scribbly, and the focus on his face and his hand gives the panel a very claustrophobic and hard-to-breathe feel and it makes mE SICK!!! IT MAKES ME SICK!!! SICK AND TWISTED!!!! JEWEL OF TRUTH I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

anyway that's all my thoughts for right now . i really really hope they figure out a loophole or something . if they dont im actually gonna keel over and die /j not literally but yknow what i mean

SICK AND TWISTED!!! is my final word on this ep

thanks for joining me in hell ill see yall next week salute emoji

[scekrex]

Love your writing!!

Can I request an Adam x Lucifer’s Ex! reader? Reader is basically the same rank as Lucifer was (so he’s the same strength as him too) Basically, they split up after he and Lilith got together and gave Eve the Apple. Reader is extremely depressed about it but then he meets one of the humans from Eden, Adam . And they find solidarity and comfort in going through the same/similar situation.

Lowkey giving that one scene from Steven Universe (No idea if you’ve watched/like SU so, if you’re not sure what I’m talking about, I’ll link it here. (If you want, you can probably just skip to the time stamps or watch all of it, either’s fine, but it starts at 2:33 and ends around 3:11

Spoilers for Steven Universe, if you even care.

https://youtu.be/PnlRR0rX_Q0?feature=shared

(The context for the SU scene is ofc different, but just the overall vibe of it is what I mean.) but just 2 people abandoned by someone who was supposed to be their soulmate (Twice for Adam) and them finding love in each other in the end.

(Like, imagine both the fluff AND angst potential.)

Also!! If/After you write this one, I might request a Part 2 of this with angst for the aftermath of EP.8. (ONLY if you’re ok with it OFC! If not, just tell me in your A/N for this one and I won’t send it!!)

I hope you have a great day!!!! 💙💙

Okay first of all: gimme that EP 8 request right now, I need it soooo badly °^° I haven't seen SU but I've watched the scene you linked and it helped to get the vibe right so much, this is a lil short but dragging it out just to make it appear longer felt wrong. I hope you like it though. Also friendly reminder: this is set in Eden before Adam became a douchebag.

Part 2

I'm a jester and I'm yours, call me your fool

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt (with comfort)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Eden had always been the place for you to ge whenever you felt sad or upset, it calmed you down, eased your mind, made your thoughts shut up for only a couple moments. Lucifer had betrayed you, you knew that, you also knew that it had been for the best to end things with him before he would take it too far with his wish for free will and with the things that were going on between him and Lilith. And before you even realized how sad that made you feel, to be betrayed, to be replaced by a mortal soul that would never be as pure as you were, you started crying - it wasn’t loud and if someone wouldn’t have paid attention it was also not visible but Adam did pay attention. Lucifer and Lilith had given Eve the apple, the forbidden fruit, how much further would heaven allow them to go? You weren’t sure. What you were sure about though, was the fact that you missed Lucifer, you missed his warmth, his chaotic yet gentle way of handling things, no matter what it was. You missed his creative mind, his joyful character, the love he had held for you that he had never been able to hide. You missed your clumsy blonde little angel - you shook your head, no, he was no longer yours.

And while you tried to sort your emotions out, the brunette human carefully creeped closer, he noticed your sadness and despite the fact that he didn’t know why you were crying, he felt like he understood without knowing the true reason - he had heard them whispering about it. About how Lucifer had left his boyfriend in order to get together with the first woman, his ex wife, Lilith. And while one loss alone had been seemingly impossible to carry, Adam had not only lost Lilith to his former best friend, he had also lost Eve. Eve, who had tried to talk him into eating the apple as well, he had refused to though, he wanted to remain pure, if she decided that wasn’t for her though, then that was her deal and not Adam’s.

Once he had reached you, he quietly sat down next to you, he wanted to take the sadness away from you, a creature as gorgeous and heavenly as yours should not sit in Eden and cry. He wanted to ask you why you were crying, who caused all those tears but he felt like it wasn’t his place to do so - you were an angel after all. Was he even allowed to sit next to you? The first man didn’t know, but he was sure that if he wouldn’t be allowed near you, you would tell him so. Lucifer might be disobeying heaven’s rules, but you? You looked too pure to do so.

You quickly wiped your tears away as soon as you noticed the presence next to you, when you turned your head to look at the person that had decided to take their place by your side, you were quite surprised to see the face of the first man there. “You look so sad,” the brunette hummed as he reached out to gently touch your cheek. Your golden, broken looking eyes met equally broken brown ones and you somehow found comfort in them, even though they belonged to a total stranger. “Yeah,” you softly chuckled at his words, a small smile forced itself onto your lips, “I guess that’s normal when you get dumped, though.” So the rumors had been true, Lucifer had left his boyfriend for Adam’s former wife. He inhaled deeply, “That’s what love brings.” And yeah, he had a point. Love was able to bring joy and happiness, but it could also take those feelings away from you within seconds. Carefully you leaned into Adam’s touch and closed your eyes as you breathed in the scent of the brunette. “A creature as beautiful as you shouldn’t be sad over losing someone like Lucifer though,” the first man continued and gently caressed your cheek with his thumb, wiping away all remains of your tears. “That’s so easy to say, Adam,” your voice cracked when you said his name and you opened your eyes again, “He was everything.” Adam nodded, he understood, “So was Eve. And Lilith. But sometimes they choose a different path than you do and there is nothing you can do to change that.”

And looking at it that way made you realize that Adam was in the same situation as you were, a situation that tore apart everything just because Lucifer had made a reckless decision. You had lost everything and so had Adam, you were sitting in the same boat, sailing the same ocean of sadness. But now you had found each other, so at least you weren’t sailing alone anymore. “Adam?” you asked quietly as you looked at the first man, making sure you’d get nothing but honesty when your eyes met his, “Can you stay?” And without hesitation the first man nodded, this would not only bring you comfort and take a little bit of the sadness away from you, no, the brunette would also find comfort in this, you would keep his mind busy and that he was very thankful for.

[zakkusufae]

Les souvenirs sont les parfums de l’âme 

Hello! Here's a fic I wrote based on Event Horizon from the wonderful Jayvik inspired EP titled Infinity's End by Marcus Skeen. Please do give it a listen on Spotify if you haven't already.

This is also a gift for @lesbianherald

Thank you to @maureunfundf-blog for help with the title. I don't know how to post on Ao3 yet, so I hope this will do.

Jayce is never one to display his affections publicly. Every maiden knows that it is when the doors are closed their prayers will be answered; their dreams are fulfilled, and passions ignite. They know, and he knows, too. That much is certain.

Yet there are no maidens to entertain. There haven't been any for a while, not even the beautiful Mel Medarda, and his staff has begun to notice. Some assume the reason is due to the aftermath of the war. Perhaps it has been too much, and in some way, they are correct.

Though it isn't the images of war that plague his mind. It is the boy, the wretched boy who lies unconscious underneath the rubble, his hand still reaching for the empty space where his familiar, Sky, had been.

The price had been magic. The cost? Everything.

Something was wrong with him. He could have grabbed her, not him. He could have seized her and left him to his guard. He had been convinced someone would find him.

But he couldn't.

Compelled by something unknown, he is already lifting the young man's unconscious body. He shuts his eyes and recalls how heavy he felt.

Jayce sighs, finally shaking the memory from his mind. He hasn’t seen him since he awoke and loathes the way he wants to.

Gods, he wants to.

But the question, Jayce thinks, is why? He isn't needed. Others can take care of him. There is no need to waste his time. "It was a moment of weakness," Jayce mutters to himself. "Nothing more." He will forget it.

"Sir," His butler, James, enters the room and bows, pulling Jayce away from his thoughts. "A guest waits for you in the foyer."

"Send them away," he demands.

"I'm afraid I cannot, sir. You see, it is the boy--the king.” He says he'd wait patiently." James' voice wavers and watches as his dark eyes avert from him, then to the hall, more frequently than he would have liked. "What should I..." Jayce immediately moves from his desk and storms out, leaving James visibly shaken. "Sir?"

Jayce has only gotten halfway down the hall until he realizes he almost feels desperate and slows his pace. He can see him now. There is more color to his face as he gazes at his pocket watch. He is dressed much more casually than he's been used to seeing, yet the main difference is the cane that he holds in his left hand. The brace is no longer enough.

So he had been right. His leg had been broken. Not just his leg, Jayce thinks. "You know, coming unannounced is the one thing I can't stand, Viktor. "

Viktor smiles as he sees him approach. "If I'd announced my arrival, I would be turned away at the gates."

Jayce slows his steps, stopping once he’s in front of him, a sardonic smile playing on his lips. "That, I suppose, is true... So, tell me, what is so important that you came unannounced, risking such a… delicate situation?"

Viktor taps his cane thoughtfully against the marble floor. "To thank you," he answers, his voice low. "Ekko told me you were the one who found me."

The smile vanishes from Jayce’s face, replaced by a flicker of something akin to both gratitude and betrayal.

The brat is too honest for his own good.

"I did..." He admits it easily, "but is that really something that requires three days of travel? A letter would have been enough." He gestures towards Viktor’s bandaged leg. "And you’re injured. Does the professor know you're here?"

"No, he does not."

"Then perhaps I should have one of my staff inform him..."

Viktor springs forward, his cane clattering to the ground as he clamps a hand over Jayce’s mouth. "No!" he hisses, his eyes blazing. "Don't tell him I'm here." He slowly removes his hand, his breathing ragged due to his sudden movement. "I just came here to thank you in person. You deserve that much..." There is no one in the foyer but the two of them, yet Viktor's voice is still nothing more than a whisper. He refuses to be scolded relentlessly.

Jayce glances at the clock on the wall, noting his staff is having their lunches in their respective quarters. He places his eyes on Viktor once more and grasps his hand, pulling him closer, the cane forgotten. "Is that really the only reason you came to thank me?"

The young man's golden hue flushes, a mixture of confusion and surprise coloring his features. "Y-Yes, yes. I promise you; I have no other intentions."

A cruel smile touches Jayce’s lips. He wishes there were. If that were the case, he could simply send him away. But he knows there is nothing else. Reluctantly, he lets go and leans down to pick up Viktor’s cane. "I shouldn't be surprised by your recklessness," he murmurs, his voice withholding an urge to bite.

He can feel Viktor’s breath on his face as the young man takes back his cane. It reminds him of the night Viktor refuses to remember.

"It... wouldn't be fair to you if I did possess other intentions...." Jayce can feel their fingers brush ever so lightly against one another. It's maddening.

Jayce pauses at his words, his eyes darkening. He is meant to be in control, his displays of power meant to be private. But Viktor, with his innocence and his vulnerability in this moment, is a dangerous temptation. "So, you don’t deny it," Jayce purrs, his hand snaking out to pin Viktor against the cool stone wall. “That you have intentions.”

Viktor's hands keep their grip on his cane even as he feels his back being pressed against the wall. He falters, unable to form a coherent reply, the sounds of stutters are all he's able to muster.

To Jayce, however, it is confirmation enough. He recalls that night once more, the way Viktor had clung to him, whispering his thanks, his eyes dark and dazed. The way he had tasted of wine and fear, and how that taste had ignited a fire within Jayce he thought long extinguished. “It’s almost amusing” Jayce feels his tongue loosen, and this time, he wouldn’t be able to blame it on a measly drunken stupor. “Your expression is the same as it was the night you kissed me; uncertain. Your eyes, expectant.”

"What are you saying?" Viktor demands, his voice sharp with disbelief. He's acutely aware of the Councilor's games, his constant push and pull designed to weaken Viktor's control over his Familiar. But Sky was gone, vanished. He'd succeeded in killing her as he promised he would. There was no prize for Jayce to claim. “I’ve never--”

“Deny it if you wish, it doesn't change the fact that it happened." Jayce allows himself to touch him, then. He places his free hand against Viktor's cheek, his gold-emerald eyes searching. "Do you regret it?"

"Regret is only possible if one remembers, and I unfortunately do not..." Viktor trails off, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face.

Jayce sighs deeply, a shudder passing through him. His fingers trace a path down Viktor's cheek. "You remember," he corrected, his voice a low, raspy. "You remember the taste of wine, the feel of my hands against your skin, the way you clung to me like a drowning man, begging me to make you forget.”

Viktor gasps, his eyes widening in shock. He tries to pull away, but Jayce's grip, though firm, is surprisingly gentle. "Jayce..." he whispers, his voice hoarse.

"Don't deny it, Your Highness." Jayce murmurs, his voice a soft caress. He leans in closer, his breath fanning against Viktor's lips. "You remember."

He closes the distance between them, capturing Viktor's lips in a kiss that is both a tender exploration and a hesitant plea. Viktor's knees buckle beneath him, the pain in his leg momentarily forgotten as a wave of dizziness washes over him. The cane is forgotten again as it clatters to the floor. His hands, now shaking, cling to Jayce, instinctively reaching for the strong shoulders that support him. Jayce deepens the kiss, his tongue tracing the seam of Viktor's lips. He swears he can still taste the wine from that very night, lingering on his breath. A low groan escapes Viktor's throat as he’s kissed and Jayce only hums, smiling against his mouth.

Jayce pulls away slightly, his eyes searching Viktor's "Do you deny it now?" He asks, chest heaving. He attempts to keep his gaze on Viktor’s but his eyes only seem to betray him as they flicker from his eyes to his now thoroughly kissed mouth.

Viktor's eyes, still wide with a mixture of shock and arousal, dart away from Jayce's gaze. "I… I don't know," he stammers, his voice barely a whisper. "It was… a long time ago."

Jayce smiles gently, a touch of amusement in his eyes. "A long time," he agrees, his thumb stroking Viktor's cheek. "But some things, some feelings, have a way of enduring, don't they?" He leans in closer, his breath warm against Viktor's ear. "And some desires…” He lets his words hang in the air a moment as his fingers now press themselves into the curves of Viktor’s hips. “They seem to find their way back to us."

Viktor closes his eyes, the memory of that night, hazy yet vivid, flooding back to him. He feels a shiver run down his spine, a mixture of fear and a strange, exhilarating anticipation. But beneath the fear, a warmth spreads through him, a longing he hadn't realized he still held. He reaches up, his fingers trembling slightly, and cups Jayce's face, his thumb gently brushing against the older man’s cheek. He wants to remember.

He closes his eyes and leans in; his lips meeting Jayce's in another tentative kiss. It's a hesitant gesture, a tentative exploration, mirroring the kiss Jayce had initiated. Yet, as Jayce deepens the kiss, a low moan escapes Viktor's throat, and he finds himself responding, his hands tightening around Jayce's neck, his fingers beginning to bury themselves in his dark locks.

Suddenly, the sound of approaching footsteps echoes through the hall. Both men freeze, their eyes snapping open. Jayce quickly releases Viktor, stepping back as if nothing had happened. Viktor, still breathless, stumbles back, his hand instinctively reaching for his cane which Jayce gives to him a second time.

James appears in the doorway leading to the foyer, his face flushed. "Sir," he stammers, "I… I believe I heard a… a sound. Is everything alright?"

Jayce, his composure regained, fixes a cool gaze on his aide. "Everything is perfectly fine, James. You may go."

James, looking decidedly uneasy, bows his head and quickly retreats. Jayce turns back to Viktor, a mischievous glint in his eyes once the sound of James’ steps fades away. "Seems we have an audience."

Viktor, his heart pounding, can only nod. His head is spinning when he finally breaks the silence. "I… I should go," he says, "The journey was long."

"Yes," Jayce agrees, "you should rest. Your journey was three days, after all.” He grins, teeth showing as he reminds Viktor of his reckless decision.

Viktor, his heart aching with a longing he didn't know he possessed, pushes past Jayce, his steps unsteady. He reaches the doorway and pauses, his hand reaching for the ornate doorknob. He glances back at Jayce, who is watching him with an intensity that makes his breath catch.

You could stay; his eyes are telling him. Stay with me. Jayce makes no attempt to pull him into another embrace, and Viktor gathers he wants him to do so on his own accord.

Then, with a final, lingering look, he turns and leaves, the weight of the kiss, the unspoken words still needing to be said, and the terrifying realization of his own vulnerability weighing heavily on his shoulders. He had come seeking thanks, but what he had found was something far more complicated, something that could consume him entirely.

[nabi-unveiled]

So after a fun discussion with @lurkingshan this afternoon about my initial hatred of Chan Young (which really piggybacked a different discussion with @watchthisqqq), I spent a lot of time considering WHY I had felt so strongly about him in episode 1. Because I really did have a visceral, very negative reaction to his character. It had mellowed a LOT by the end of episode 2. By the end of episode 2, I had downgraded my opinions on him to "jerk". After all, he's really just an oblivious teenager.

Before we go further, I should clarify that I use the term "jerk" very lightly and many of my favorite characters are ones I would call "jerks". My brother, who I have a very close relationship with, calls me a jerk on the regular. I realized this evening that other people may mean something different by this term or use it more carefully.

I typically use it with characters that are somewhat rude/blunt and inconsiderate of the feelings of those around them but that are not particularly malicious or mean. Many times a lack of awareness IS part of the problem. That's definitely why my brother uses it for me. He learned long ago that I wouldn't realize I had hurt his feelings if he didn't say something. Similar to how Ho-Sik is using it here, the term is much more lighthearted and friendly judgment than say "asshole" for me. Language really is a tricky beast sometimes.

For me a lot of my continued classification of Chan Young as "a jerk" came down to how he was talking about the girls he was dating, him "ghosting" them, and how he was interacting with/treating Ho-Sik.

It had nothing to do with Hee Su by the end of episode 2. I also realized that I hadn't pointed out that Hee Su has a lot of those same traits. I did say in my episode 2 post that he does a lot of the same things as Chan Young, but I hadn't been explicitly clear. He's going to cause a lot of unintentional harm with his meddling. I haven't watched ep 3 yet, but you know it's going to happen.

But now I started questioning --- what was going on in episode 1? Why did I hate Chan Young in that episode? I knew there was a lot of personal projection going on. The situation reminded me a lot of something (and a person) from my teenage years. But that was a long time ago...could it really explain having THIS strong a reaction? Probably not. It's not like I have much of a reaction at all if I think about that situation today. I've also seen the impacts of the Chan Youngs in the world when I used to work with teenagers. But I always cut them a break when I worked with them. Again - they're teenagers. Growing up and learning who you are (or who you want to be) isn't easy. I did initially think that Chan Young was playing Hee Su. Was that the real problem? I wasn't sure. (Note: That thought definitely changed during episode 2.)

So I did what I always do when I can't process things properly -> I reached out to my brother. He doesn't generally watch BL, but he knows me well. I told him I had a character conundrum, and I needed help. I didn't tell him WHICH character or even what the conundrum was, because that felt like it would introduce bias. After watching episode 1, he called me back.

Him: "It's the tennis dude isn't it? You hate him, but you know you shouldn't hate him. And now you feel guilty about hating him."

Me: "God, you really do know me too well."

Him: "Ehhh. All I can say is don't worry about it. He's a jerk, but you'll end up loving him unless the writing is dumb. After all, he's your husband."

Me: .....

And now I get to process THAT all night, because....he's right in some ways. I WOULD'VE hated my husband as a teenager. We've both agreed that it was a good thing we didn't meet until a few years later. He wouldn't have liked me then either.

So I still couldn't tell you exactly why I disliked Chan Young so much in episode 1. But it's been a fun personal exploration nonetheless.

I expect my feelings will continue to mellow. They normally do the longer I sit with a character and process things. Faifa/Yotha's mom in Perfect 10 Liners being the exception. I'm still hiring a hit on her.