#and i have to decide soon bc if it's now... it's within a few parts??

[stabbyfoxandrew]

angel neil has a gun to my head guys :(

[snaillock]

would you do satosugu discovering their "friend" (both of them have a fatass crush on m!reader) is a teen dad, and just all of them chaotically taking care of a baby. (like those collage students raising a baby tiktoks?)

ok so technically i only write for blue lock buttttttttttt… i am more than willing to make an exception for this. this is also my favorite niche of satosugu fics so im super honored someone requested it from me

tags: male reader has a foster daughter bc hell yeah girl dads, unnamed child bc that's too much for me, reader is a sorcerer, found family but in a janked up kinda way, whipped satosugu, pre-hidden inventory so everyone is in high school in this this a long one yall

part two coming soon!

★ when assigned an extremely harsh mission, you find an orphaned child barely a year old within all the rumble. you soon found out her family was recently killed in the destruction. unsure of what would happen to her after this, you decided to take her as your own.

★ scared of any judgment, you didn’t tell anyone about her so only a few higher-ups were aware. luckily you were allowed to live off campus so you two could have more space and privacy.

★ however the physical effects of raising a kid all on your own at such a young age were certainly showing. you came to school visibly worn down, often falling asleep in the middle of class and taking more absences than usual.

★ the first people to notice, of course, were gojo and geto. as nosy as they were, they tried not to push it, knowing you had just come back from a really taxing mission. though they did get more and more suspicious whenever you didn’t let them visit your new place.

★ however one day, they did spot you out in public wearing a baby carrier with, of course, a baby they’d never seen before resting right inside. they immediately came up to you and bombarded you with multiple questions before you got them to chill out and explained everything.

★ wanting you to take some time off (and win you over), they offer to take care of her regularly. who were you to refuse? after all, it is free babysitting and you were already using up so much money hiring actual babysitters.

★ during their first babysitting job, you thanked them profusely before going back into your room and instantly falling asleep the moment your body hit your bed, taking a very well-deserved nap.

★ you see, gojo was already pretty hesitant about you having a kid around. this was before he took in megumi so he found basically any child gross and annoying. (though he’s somehow even more attracted to you now that you’re a dad.)

★ coughs dilf lover gojo i mean what?

★ so when gojo picked up your baby for the first time, she immediately cried when they made eye contact and he got so so personally offended that he started rethinking this whole babysitting thing.

★ the first thirty minutes or so of taking care of your kid went pretty okay. that was until she started crying again and neither of them knew why.

★ you see, these idiots have no idea how to care for a child.

★ they frantically tried to calm her down and figure out what was wrong without needing to wake you. they checked if she was hurt in any way, she definitely wasn’t hungry since they already fed her, nor did she need to be changed. gojo even called shoko to see if she could do anything.

★ when they eventually saw her crawling towards your room and sobbing right outside your door, hesitantly let her in to see her climb onto your bed and lay down with you, realizing she just missed you the whole time. that entire experience made them so exhausted that they almost climbed into bed with you. but when they saw the gratitude on your face after you woke up, it made it all worth it.

★ luckily the next few times they watched over her, babysitting got more and more easy as she grew used to them.

★ they start coming over so often to look after her that your place basically becomes their second home.

★ geto is in charge of doing her hair since the last time gojo attempted it, it was just a big mess of hair ties and ribbons. geto’s definitely not complaining since he loves to get her ready. in fact, geto does a lot of the responsible stuff when taking care of her since gojo, hmm what’s a nice way to put it, lacks a lot of the necessary skills.

★ oh yeah, remember what i said about gojo hating younger children? yeah, that completely changes as he spends more time with your daughter. he’s almost always playing with her or showing up with a brand new toy or stuffed animal just for her. he ends up loving her so so much and wants to be her cool fun dad.

★ unfortunately both of them are way too nice when it comes to disciplining her. they let her get away with so much. late bedtimes, too much tv, grabbing any treats she wants off the grocery store shelves. how can they not spoil such an adorable little girl like her!?

★ what’s also unfortunate is how they try to drag you into it.

“come on, y/n. let loose a little. cake for dinner does sound pretty appetizing right now.”

“come on. just let her watch ten more minutes before bed.” gojo lazed on the couch with her on his lap. “besides this cartoon is starting to get good.”

“come onnn… just let her buy it.” geto held up a sparkly pink dress you already told him she doesn’t need with his own sparkles in his eyes. “she’ll look so cute in it. i promise i’ll pay you back.”

★ their hearts explode whenever you’re affectionate with her. they love the way you gently rock her in your arms while humming a sweet lullaby, slowly lulling her to sleep. the way they see you kiss her forehead after placing her into the crib before quickly turning around and acting like they weren’t staring the whole time. they fall head over heels for you for probably the twentieth time by now since they met you but those times were definitely the hardest.

★ they’ve been in her life for a good while so when she begins talking more frequently, she starts calling them her papas as she does with you. gojo aka former “ugh kids are so gross and icky” feels his heart combusting whenever she calls him that and he owns that title proudly. meanwhile geto feels so endeared and honored that she sees him that way.

★ “we’re not the stepdads. we’re the dads that stepped up!” looking asses.💀

★ the secret of you having a kid doesn’t last for long since these two can’t keep quiet about it. they’re just way too happy and want to show her off. especially gojo who scrolls through 100s of photos of her while gushing about her to basically anyone who’ll listen. shoko and nanami are the most common targets whenever this happens.

★ he even ends up showing photos of you and your daughter napping together (that you had no idea he took), making you snatch his phone away in embarrassment.

★ whenever you guys go out on family dates to go to the beach or picnicking, geto always takes the time to dress her up with pretty hairstyles and cute little outfits. he absolutely loves doting on her.

★ they love her with all their hearts and would do absolutely anything for her. she’s so lucky to have three weird dads take care of her and raise her. a very odd and��� unconventional family dynamic but an amazing one nonetheless. this family only grows bigger and bigger once gojo takes in megumi and geto practically adopts mimiko and nanako.

please read my rules before following

taglist: @userwithlotsoftime @lucas2060 @kiiyoooo

ayo we rocking with the star bullet points?? 🗣️⁉️

[srjlvr]

SEVEN ROYALTIES

“once upon a time there was a promised couple, that time made them realize that sometimes, promises can be broken” — yang jungwon

yang jungwon x fem!reader genre: childhood friends to lovers , promised to marry , fluff , angst ! warnings: mentions of food , pregnancy i think , maybe curse words (do lmk if i missed something!!) || NOT PROOFREAD !!

WORD-COUNT ; 5.5k+

NOTE. WOW!!!! can you believe how much time it took me to write this? i had an intense writer block and didnt know where to continue, lets not forget about my basically hiatus bc of school and etc.. im SO terribly sorry for taking too long, y’all clearly don’t deserve that!! also, riki’s parts are kind of mentioned? not so sure…

“ready?”

“i’ve never been ready-ier”

“that’s not even a word!”

“and who are you to decide?”

“stop fighting will you? it happens every time, unbelievable”

“y/n, jungwon, stop bickering, everyone’s waiting for you”

you took a deep breath and jungwon held your hand.

as you entered the big hall all you could’ve heard for claps and cheers.

“happy birthday!” they all said in harmony.

that’s right, you and jungwon celebrate your birthday together, as you were born at the same day within a few hours difference, he was born first.

it probably had something to do with your mothers being best friends.

the queens of other kingdoms being inseparable just shows everyone that you don’t have to be in rivalry to win a happy life.

when your mother announced her pregnancy, jungwon’s mother cried out of joy, saying that she too, is pregnant.

it was even more exciting to see both of the queens celebrate everything that has to do with their pregnancy together.

birthday celebrations has never been as big as your birthday, mostly because of the over excitement your mothers both felt and still feel.

as soon as they revealed the genders, it was like a sign for them, and even before you were born, you were promised to each other.

“y/n, meet jungwon” your mother used her sweetest voice as she introduced jungwon to you. you were one day old and the queens already made sure you know each other, even though you probably won’t remember it.

“you do realize they won’t remember it in five minutes too, right?” your father tried to bring her back to earth but she was already gone in cloud 9.

growing up was quite interesting you’d say.

your mom made sure to visit hybe kingdom every monday and thursday, and jungwon’s mother came to visit every tuesday and friday. it has already became a ritual for both you and jungwon.

“y/n! it’s time to go!” your mother called you while you were busy playing with jungwon.

“i have to go now, but i will see you tomorrow, right?” you asked him and he nodded.

“you already know you will”

there was nothing more touching than to see you and jungwon getting along and spending time together, your mothers were clearly the happiest.

not only that you got along with jungwon, you got along with each of his siblings, and he definitely had bunch.

“fancy seeing you here again, y/n” heeseung came and ruffled your hair.

“it’s like we haven’t seen you for years!” jake added.

“how have you been? we missed you” jay hugged you.

“you’re always playing with jungwon but never walk up to us” sunghoon pout.

“we’re just glad to see you again” sunoo smiled widely.

“y/n can i join you two?” riki asked

they were definitely your siblings as well, and you love each and every one of them.

“find your own y/n then! don’t steal her from me” jungwon would always argue with them and scoff.

you just giggled and gave each of them a hug before going outside with jungwon.

“don’t be too harsh on them” you said and he rolled his eyes.

“they’re just trying to tease me”

“they’re your siblings, it’s like, a part of them”

he rolled his eyes once again and started running around.

as you slowly grow up with each other, you were slowly starting to develop something special towards each other.

“drawing again?” jungwon caught you in one of your castle rooms you used to paint in.

you grew a lot of habits, and one of them was drawing. you were never really confident in them, but jungwon always complimented them and even took some of them to hang in his room, he kept you motivated.

“you already know” you giggled.

growing up together for thirteen years already taught you so much about each other, you knew his strengths and his weaknesses, and he knew yours.

“can you teach me some tricks?” he asked and you looked at him confused, “i want to learn how to draw too”

you nodded and prepared a new canvas for him.

“sit here and adjust your chair so that it’ll feel comfortable enough for you, your hands needs to be a bit bent but not too much” you ordered him and he did as you said.

“usually you just start with a few….” you started teaching him the basics and guided him through it.

“before you make that line, make sure it’s angled and…” you held his wrist and fixed his posture as well, “like that!”

you failed to notice his blushing cheeks as you were too focused on teaching him, but he was too busy thinking about how close you are.

“it was fun seeing you today! i’ll see you tomorrow!” jungwon waved you goodbye as he left.

you left out a big sigh as he left, lately your mind has been occupied by so many thoughts about the future.

“is something wrong dear?” your mother, who stood next to you held your shoulders and caressed them.

“i’m just worried about something” you pout and your mother bent down a bit.

“what is it?” she asked softly.

“what if me and jungwon will no longer be together like the way we are now? what if he’ll lose interest and……”

“y/n, honey, you and jungwon are promised to each other, no matter what happens you’ll always be together”

you and jungwon basically grew up into the fact that you’re promised to each other, your families barely even mentioned it because it was so easy to understand.

“you’re right, but what if…?”

“you’re too worried about something that will probably never happen!” she joked and you nodded.

right, you’re probably overreacting.

at age sixteen, your parents signed you up for a royalty high school, where the high society teens attended. and of course they forced jungwon’s parents to sign him up too, with the excuse of ‘it’s always better to have more education!’

“ready?”

“i’ve never been ready-ier”

“that’s still not a word” jungwon signed and you just giggled.

“before we get in the class,” you spoke and extended your pinky in front of him, “promise me nothing bad is going to happen between us”

“don’t be stupid, of course nothing will happen” he locked your pinkies together and laughed.

even though he laughed it out, inside he was scared for his life. he knows high school changes people’s personalities, and he was so damn scared that something might happen between the two of you.

he doesn’t care about losing everything else in his life, as long as he never loses you.

“please welcome y/n and jungwon!” the teacher introduced you to the classroom and you heard cheers and claps.

you released your hand that was holding jungwon’s and waved at your new classmates.

jungwon looked at you, confused with your actions.

“hello, i’m y/n, please treat me well” you smiled and they all clapped and cheered again.

“y/n please sit next to leehan” leehan raised his hand.

“oh but we—“ jungwon was about to ask the teacher to let you sit together but you were to quick to move away and sit beside leehan.

“hello, i’m jungwon” he introduced himself and the class cheered.

“jungwon please sit next yunah” the teacher asked and jungwon went to sit beside minju.

he was already starting to feel like nothing good is going to come out of this.

“hey y/n! let’s sit for lunch!” jungwon called you and you nodded happily.

“i told leehan he can join us too! can you believe i actually made a new friend?” you asked and he nodded.

he was really happy to see you happy.

“is that okay?” you looked at him worriedly and he immediately smiled.

“of course! i’m excited to meet your friend!!” he genuinely smiled and started walking with you.

he was about to grab your hand and hold it but noticed you were busy holding your books.

guess your holding hands’ agreement is starting to fall.

“i know nothing about this school, we almost got lost at the entrance” you joked and leehan chuckle as jungwon was busy overthinking.

“i’ll guide you whenever you want, just tell me and i’ll be there” leehan replied and you smiled.

oh how jungwon wished the be the only one who can make you smile like that.

lunch went amazing according to you, jungwon was too deep in thoughts to notice it anyway.

“won! i won’t be going back home together with you today, leehan invited me to his place”

“hm? oh, okay” he mumbled as he saw your excited look on your face.

you were so excited to get new friends that you’ve failed to notice jungwon’s weird actions throughout the whole day.

he’s been weirdly quiet, barely even had a normal conversation with someone.

“jungwon? why aren’t you eating?” heeseung, his older brother did manage to notice his weird personality shift, jungwon would usually eat and brag about how much he enjoys his meal.

“just not feeling too hungry” the younger sighed as his six other brothers looked at him.

“something is not right” jay whispered to heeseung and he nodded.

“are you sur—“ “yeah, i’m sure” he pierced his gaze towards them and left them speechless.

he’d never get into a person’s sentence.

“okay then”

the awkwardness was very much present after that.

“so y/n tell us, how was school?” your parents asked.

“oh it was amazing! i met a new friend, his name is leehan”

“leehan from (name of kingdom)?” your mother’s eyes widened.

you nodded and smiled, “he was actually being kind and sincere!”

“oh that’s amazing! i heard he’s a very much handsome guy, how come you’ve never seen him in any celebrations we go to?”

“don’t be silly honey, she always paid attention to jungwon”

“jungwon!”

“hm?”

before you even let them finish their question, you got up from your seat, “it’s late, but i need to go to see jungwon!” you hurried outside.

“you have a visitor” those four words managed to confuse jungwon, who in their right minds would come visit him at this hour?

“yunah?” he asked as he noticed the figure that was waiting for him in his garden.

“jungwon! i had to see you, even if its so late already” she smiled and got closer to hug him but he stopped her.

“what are you doing here at this hour? couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?” he asked, he can’t remember being so close to her to the point that she’ll be showing up in his place at this hour. they just met today!

“i…i just wanted to tell you that if you need any help i’ll be here to assist you, i’m really glad to have you as my classmate” this time she hugged him before he could stop and he just froze in his place, trying to process what was happening.

while yunah was busy hugging jungwon, and he was busy being so deep in thoughts and confused, you were there to witness it all.

you wanted to ask him about his day, to tell him how much fun you had with leehan and how you couldn’t stop telling him stories about jungwon, you wanted jungwon to be included in anything that you did, and with every new friend that you got.

you didn’t even want to interrupt their so called ‘beautiful moment’. you were so confused and too tired to even understand what was happening.

so you ran away back to your place, promising to yourself that from now on, you’ll take a step back from jungwon and let him live his life freely.

so what if you’re promised to each other? sometimes people can’t keep their promises.

“jungwon”

“hm?”

“what if we grow apart one day?”

“that’ll never happen”

“but what if it will?”

“i will make sure it’ll never happ—“

“what if it will?”

“i…..i will make sure to get us back together”

“what if i’ll end up hating you?”

“y/n what kind of—“

“answer me please”

“i will continue trying to get you back to me, even if you hate me”

“what if you’ll start liking someone?”

“i’ll get back to my senses, we’re promised to each other!”

“sometimes promises can’t be kept…..”

“hm?”

“never mind….”

“now tell me, why did you ask those questions?”

“i’m just scared to lose you”

“you’ll never lose me”

thinking about this old moment between you and jungwon made you chuckle in disbelief, you were right all along.

always trust your instincts.

“hey y/n!” jungwon called you.

“hi” you answered dryly.

“is everything okay?” he asked worriedly and you hummed.

“let’s go grab ice crea—“ “can’t, going out with friends after school”

“oh…okay”

it hurt like a bitch seeing his disappointed face, but he has yunah now, she can help him feel better.

“jungwon! didn’t get to ask how was your first day at school yesterday!” leehan smiled towards jungwon who sat across him on lunch.

“it was okay”

“how is it going with you and yunah? i saw the both of you getting really close”

you almost choked on your food hearing what leehan said.

“yeah she’s a great friend”

great friend my ass.

“i’d like to see where it’s going” leehan winked and jungwon returned to eat his lunch while you rolled your eyes.

slowly but surely, the days flew by, and with each day that passed, you and jungwon became more distant.

“where’s jungwon?” leehan asked as you were about to take a bite from your lunch.

“huh? oh, i don’t know” you shrugged.

for the first time ever since you started school, jungwon didn’t sit with you for lunch.

he got some new friends to sit with, yunah was one of them.

you also, got yourself your perfect friends circle, you became basically inseparable.

both yours and his friends, were there to witness how you slowly turn into strangers, and it scared them.

all of the students in the school knew each other, as everyone always attend to the same events and see each other. it was no wonder everyone knows about you and jungwon and how strong your bond is.

while everyone was busy chatting with strangers on big events, you and jungwon made sure to stick together no matter what.

it pains almost every student to be witnessing your sudden distance and awkwardness.

“hey honey! it’s been a while since we saw jungwon, are you both okay?” your mother asked, concerned as its been months since she last saw her best friend’s son.

“yeah mom, we’re always hanging out with our shared friends”

lying is not cool y/n.

“oh! well invite him here sometimes too! i miss my son” she pout and hugged you.

you just sighed in relief and hugged her back.

“i’m changing some seats arrangements, so each two students names i say will sit together” your teacher ordered and you sighed, praying that she’ll let you stay next to leehan.

“y/n and jungwon” your worst nightmare happened.

it’s not like you were enemies, the tension was just so awkward between the two of you.

as if nothing happened between you two before.

you took your bag and sat next to jungwon without saying a word. you failed to notice his sincere look on his face, he really misses you.

“with your new seats, you’ll be also getting a new project to work on in pairs, your partner will be the one who sits next to you” okay now you’re sure universe hates you.

jungwon cleared his throat before he spoke, “let’s start working on it tomorrow, you’re free to come to my place”

my place. it used to be ‘our’ place before.

“don’t worry about missing me! i’ll see you tomorrow at your place!” younger you smiled widely at younger jungwon as you waved goodbye to him.

“it’s not only my place! it’s yours too!! from now on its ‘ours!’” he said and you nodded.

“same about my pl— our place!” you giggled.

whenever one of you would invite the other, you’d use the term ‘our’ place.

now jungwon said his place, and it suddenly felt so cold and distant.

you slowly nodded and walked away.

jungwon watched you as you stepped away, he wanted to add more, he wanted to tell you he misses seeing you at his place but failed, something was stopping him from doing so.

“y/n dear it’s been a while since we saw you! i feel like i’ve seen yunah here lately more than you!” jungwon’s mother welcomed you with open hands, “better keep up the competition” she teased and winked, knowing no matter what, you and jungwon will end up together anyway.

it wasn’t the same for you though.

“he’s in his painting room, only god knows how he’s the only one who managed to keep his habit” she’s referring to your old habit of drawing. if it wasn’t you who taught him your few tricks he probably would’ve find interest in something else, but something in painting just drew him to it.

you on the other hand stopped with your little habit, choosing a new one to entertain you.

you knocked softly on the door, and you heard a loud thud sound, “is everything okay?” you asked.

“yeah….” you heard a faint voice and relaxed as he opened the door.

his hair was a bit messy and curly, and you could see the paint stains on his face as he tried to wipe them off. he looks so cute.

“hey” you called, “hey” he answered.

“um, we said we’d work on the project”

“oh right, um” he sighed, “just wait in my room i’ll get cleaned up”

you nodded and instead of going to his room you roamed around.

“y/n!” you heard a voice calling you, you looked behind you and saw riki smirking at you.

“what a surprise” he said, “we haven’t seen you here lately”

“yeah, school has been really stressful, but we’re hanging out together after school with our shared friends” you lied again.

“y/n i thought we never keep lies in our family” he glared at you.

him being younger than you doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t be scared of him.

this troublemaker is terrifying.

“i’m sorry?”

“y/n! i’m so glad to see you” heeseung came to rescue and hugged you tightly, “we all missed you, can’t stop talking about you”

he was glaring at riki and signaling him to go away while you were busy hugging him so you didn’t even notice.

riki rolled his eyes, “um, i have some arrangements to make for my birthday, so i’ll see you around”

you nodded and continued hugging heeseung.

“how have you been?” you asked

“oh you know, dealing with one specific person”

“huh?”

“not something you should worry about”

“y/n?” jungwon came back and heeseung winked at you as he got the clue and walked away.

“i was on my way to your room when i got stopped by riki”

jungwon nodded, although both of you know very well that the place you’re in isn’t even on the way to jungwon’s room.

“so let’s part the project and each one of us will do their part instead of always working on it together” you suggested.

“i can get leehan’s help—“

“no we can work on it together”

“it’s really fine—“

“we need to work on it together so we’ll understand each other better” he raised his voice a bit and you were taken aback.

“you’re right” you mumbled and nodded.

a few hours passed since you started working on the project together, and the only words you exchanged were words about your project and nothing more than that.

you miss being with him and hanging out with him, but not like that.

“why don’t you stay for dinner y/n?” his mother asked as it was already late.

as you were busy staring at her, jungwon glanced at you, his eyes full of hope that you’d say yes, he missed this.

“i can’t today…i promised my parents i’ll eat with them today” you respectfully declined the offer as you were lying through your teeth.

your parents were on duties and you’d eat your dinner alone today, you were just too afraid that once you stay for dinner, you won’t be able to leave. you will never want to.

“alright darling, i really enjoyed seeing you, come here more! i know school is stressful but we’d really like to see you”

you gave her a hug and went away.

“oh right jungwon! you need to start getting ready to your brother’s wedding, it’s in a few days and nothing is ready yet!”

jay’s wedding is coming closer and closer, jungwon would once again will have to be introduced to other princesses, although everyone already knows who's the person he’s going to marry.

he just nodded and went back to his room.

when he entered his room, he noticed you forgot your bracelet as you put it down to be able to write better.

he sighed loudly, knowing he’d have to give it to you the other day.

you and jungwon rarely talk in school already, it’ll be very awkward to do so but he knows he has to, the chances of seeing you outside of school are low.

“here, you forgot it at my place” he mumbled as he handed you your bracelet at lunch in front of your friends.

they started whispering and gasping as you cleared your throat, “thank you” you quickly took it and put it on your hand again.

he nodded slightly and walked away back to his friends.

“what was that?” one of your friends asked.

“nothing” you mumbled and stuck a spoon in your mouth.

“oh you look so pretty! i pity all the princes you’re about to meet, they don’t know yet that you’re off the market” your mother clasped her hands and smiled.

being introduced to other royalties as creating a curiosity and maybe getting the chance of finding a partner was very common around your age, your and jungwon’s parents didn’t want to tell everyone the great news of their promised children, and chose to keep business as usual.

you nervously smiled and sighed, this is going to be a long night.

“oh y/n, you’re so pretty!” jungwon’s mother hugged you tightly and complimented you more than you could ever imagine.

“thank you” you did you curtsy and walked away after she told you to search for jungwon.

you didn’t actually search for him, you took one glass of champagne and stood next to one of those high tiny tables that were only big enough to hold your champagne cups.

“fancy seeing you here” you heard a voice really close to you and as you looked to your left you saw leehan.

“you scared me!” you playfully punched his shoulder and he giggled.

“you look very beautiful today” he said.

“so i look ugly in any other day?” you teased and he quickly shook his head.

“today is just, special”

you hummed and took a sip of your champagne.

“i’m actually surprised you noticed me in such event, usually you’d be around jungwon all night” he joked and you chuckled, “yeah”

“oh y/n we’ve been searching for you!” your parents called and you excused yourself from leehan.

“meet prince sohee from (name of kingdom)!” they introduced the prince who looked like he was younger than you by a few years.

his round eyes and soft gaze made your cheeks heat up. he was one of a kind prince and no one could deny his beauty.

“nice to meet you, i’m y/n” you did your curtsy and he kissed your hand.

you were so busy being introduced to and introducing yourself with your parents to notice someone’s eyes were on you the whole time.

before the wedding started his mother reassured him that the princes you were going to meet today meant nothing as you were promised to him, so why was he feeling so unconfident about it?

sohee’s visuals are no joke, out of all the princes here did they have to choose him?

he wanted to look away but his eyes refused to do so, so he was witnessing everything until it was over.

he wanted to leave, imagining so many scenarios about you asking to break the promise so you could marry sohee.

“jungwon! come here son!” his mother called and he knew it was his time now.

revenge time.

“meet princess yena from (name of kingdom)!” his parents introduced her as he took the back of her hand and kissed it.

he smiled widely as he introduced himself, knowing another pair of eyes might be watching him.

as you returned to leehan after the introduction, he began telling you stories about seeing you and jungwon always together.

you were too busy looking at jungwon staring deeply in yena’s eyes, as if he just saw the prettiest princess in the hall.

leehan’s words became faint as you focused only on him.

the way he looks at her, the way he treats her, they’ve only met but it feels like he knows and been in love with her for years.

tears threatened to fall from your eyes as anxiety washed all over you.

“are you okay—“ “excuse me leehan”

you bowed formally and went to one of the balconies to let it all out.

“come on! no one would find us here!” younger jungwon dragged you to the balcony as you were scared to get caught.

“it’s so boring! listening to their conversations, ‘blah blah blah’” he mocked the elderly as you laughed.

“are you sure no one is going to find us?” you asked nervously.

“y/n we always sneak out to this place and never get caught”

one of the reasons you and jungwon only had each other is because you’re always sneaking out to the balcony instead of interacting with other people.

you’d usually get some snacks and sit together in the balcony to play some games and laugh about anything until you felt like it was the right time to return.

you spent so many beautiful memories in this balcony.

thinking about these old memories made your eyes tear up even more.

you miss everything about the two of you, how did it get to the point that you’re crying in the balcony you used to laugh until your stomach hurt?

“take this” you stopped whining and looked at the hand that handed you a tissue.

you looked up to see riki.

“thank you” you took the tissue and wiped your tears.

“i better get going before i—“ “RIKI!!!!”

“it’s my cue to leave, sorry” he pat your shoulder and ran away.

your relationship with riki was complicated, this boy was scary as hell, that troublemaker did cause lots of problems to his family, but you always made sure to join his antics sometimes.

as scary as he is, he cares about you a lot, you basically raised him together with jungwon, you’re one of the few people who showed interest in him and actually played along with him.

you wondered if he’ll ever find the right one for him.

“you’re not so pretty when you cry, you know?” you looked behind you and this time you saw sunoo standing there with a smile.

“maybe i don’t want to be pretty” you mumbled and he giggled as he took a few steps closer.

“how have you been?” he asked.

“okay” you dropped your glance to your hands, one of the habits that sunoo noticed you do when you lie.

“you already know that i know that you’re lying” he replied.

“it’s complicated”

“i know”

“it really is”

“let time do it’s thing, he misses you too” sunoo rubbed your back, “i need to go now, wipe those tears away and change them into a smile”

you did as he told as he got inside the hall again.

you sighed heavily, does he really miss you?

sunoo said it probably to let you feel better about it.

you decided to walk around the place, avoiding the hall at any cost.

curiosity took over as you stood in front of his painting room, what was he doing there last time you came?

you opened the door and was welcomed by the smell of overused paint brushes and an aroma you can’t really describe.

you looked around the room and was amazed by his paintings, he really is a better painter than you.

you looked over to the canvas that was on the stand, probably an unfinished project of him.

if there’s one thing you noticed as soon as you took in all of his paintings, is that he always had a specific figure in them.

whether the figure was standing, running in the rain, sitting at a bus stop, it’s always the same one.

as you moved closely to the canva, you noticed the figure from close, the figure was playing the piano, the details about the piano were so familiar to you, and the room the figure sat in looked exactly like something you’ve already seen before.

“what do you think?” you askes jungwon as you finished playing your favorite song on the piano.

after painting you moved to studying piano, you fell in love with the sound it made when you softly pressed the keyboards, and the melody it created.

being so excited about it, a day before you started your school, you sat jungwon next to you and showed him your finished project, create a new melody.

instead of being focused on the melody, jungwon was focused on you.

you were busy pressing on the keyboards and enjoying the music it makes while jungwon was busy looking at you and observing what he sees.

god, he was so in love with you.

then it finally kicked you, the figure in the painting is actually…..

“what are you doing here?”

you turned around to see jungwon standing nervously.

“jungwon….” you whispered, “is that me in those paintings?”

“what?” he asked, cursing himself for his unstable voice.

“is that me?” you asked again, he really hoped you’d drop it.

“yes” he answered softly and sighed.

tears started streaming down your face, “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry..”

jungwon noticed your tears and moved close to wipe your tears with his thumb.

“why are you apologizing? you did nothing wrong”

you stared into his eyes and burst out into more tears, “the school, the new friends, us growing apart, and yunah that damn—“

“okay okay okay” he calmed you down and kissed your forehead before hugging you.

“i was so sure you’re angry at me” you whispered.

“angry at you? why?” he asked.

“the first day of school, it’s been a mess”

“oh, that” he chuckled, “can’t say i wasn’t angry, maybe a little? but i was more jealous”

“jealous?”

“yeah! you basically spent the whole day with leehan, what about me?” he scoffed.

as he still held your waist tightly and never broke your eye contact, you playfully punched his chest, “i wanted you to be friends with him too! at the same night i went to tell you about that and ask you about your day but—“ “you probably saw yunah….”

“yeah…”

he tucked your hair behind your ears and pecked your lips, “she means nothing to me, her hugging me meant nothing to me, she tried being a good friend and i let her do her thing because i wanted to make you jealous” he giggled, “now i realize it was a big mistake”

you pecked his lips again, catching him off guard, “big, big mistake”

“i missed you so much” he said, “missed holding you in my arms, spending days and nights with you, hearing your parents’ bragging about how big our wedding is going to be”

“i missed everything about you” you hugged him again and he hugged back.

“promise me something like this is never going to happen again” he said, “i was so scared to lose you”

“i promise, it’ll never happen, i’m yours”

“i love y—“

“there you are!! finally oh my god what took you so long!” sunghoon, jungwon’s older brother said as he found you and jungwon closer than ever to kiss.

“well? are you going to kiss?” he added.

“get out!!” both of you shout as he closed the door.

riki’s birthday party came in no time and your parents decided to announce everyone about your future wedding as well.

“we’d like to announce you that our y/n and jungwon are promised to marry each other!” your parents clapped, “when they grow more old of course!”

“who cares lets goooo!!” riki took the spotlight and raised a cup acting as if he’s drinking real alcohol.

cheers and claps were heard, some even smiled widely and wished the both of you happy future.

“hey y/n” jungwon called you and squeezed your hand that was holding his.

“hm?”

“thank you” he smiled, “for willing to spend your future with me”

“i’m yours jungwon, forever and ever”

“and i’m yours, forever and ever”

“god why so cheesy?”

“riki shut up!”

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••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

[licorice-tea]

The Captain Who Loved Me (1/2)

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: Angst, Reader is hurt/unconscious (briefly), reader tries to run away from their problems, ends up in a dangerous situation, themes of fear/ danger!, fluff afterwards, sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors!

Word Count: ~1.6k

A/N: Hey… Sorry it’s been so long! My life has been busy, to say the least. Borderline chaotic, but I don’t want to make it out to be a bad thing when there are so many amazing things and people in my life right now. However, there have been a few personal events that have made me less motivated/ less focused on writing. I’m sorry for making you all wait for updates/ requests, but I genuinely am just lacking a lot of interest in writing fanfic at the moment. Still, J appreciate all of your support so so much <3 It makes my day when I go on this app and see that people are still enjoying things I’ve written! So, I hope you enjoy this one too. (Part 1/2 bc i want to do a shorter ending.)

Part 3

Law hadn't thought that when you said you would “go,” you wouldn't really try to leave. And in all fairness, neither had you. You just started walking away from him, way too peeved to even look back or slow down when you heard his stuttered “wait!” And when you got back to your cabin, you picked up a backpack. Then you had filled it with only the essentials (the same way you would pack to go inland for a day or possibly longer.) And finally, with no purpose in your plan besides getting away for a little while and clearing your mind, you headed below deck to the Soldier Dock System.

Franky named this deck the Soldier Dock System because, as he had once explained to you, all of the smaller vehicles housed within the Sunny are like her soldiers. The memory makes you smile as you quietly open the door and close it behind you, then stroll along the small walkway until you spot what you came down here for in the first place: The Mini Merry 2. She bobs in shallow water and seems to call to you; “Get in! Let’s go!”

You’re too tired to make the right decision, so you quickly open channel 2 of the dock system, drop your bag into the passenger seat, and climb in after. An opening on the side of the Sunny lets in higher waters, which carry the Mini Merry out to sea…

~

“Have you seen y/n?”

Zoro’s head snaps up to the other swordsman. The two don’t converse much outside of what's necessary, so he's surprised to see the equally stoic man standing over him while he “naps” (keeps watch) in the crows nest. He shakes his head.

“Nope.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be keeping watch?”

“Yeah, on the ocean. Not my own crew mates.”

Law scoffs, and mutters; “Thanks for nothing.”

Zoro can tell the other captain is annoyed for some reason, and decides to throw him a bone. “Traffy!”

“What?”

“Check the lower levels. They might be hanging out in someone’s workshop… or whatever.”

Law regards Zoro with a suspicious gaze, but it soon turns to one of quiet thanks. He nods and leaves through the hatch in the crows nest.

Cool sea air hits him stronger than expected as soon as he exits the confines of the crows nest. With one hand and both feet planed (somewhat) firmly on the rope ladder, Law leans back to view the weather. A storm is brewing on the horizon, which shouldn’t be any problem for a ship as massive and advanced as the Thousand Sunny. The navigator/thief had briefed everyone on board on the gloomy weather that night after dinner, and though Law had been too distracted by thoughts of you, he had managed to pay a little bit of attention for the sake of important information. You hadn’t been at the impromptu meeting regarding the sea and sky’s conditions, so he had just assumed you were probably resting in your cabin already. No reason to worry over your safety if you were already fast asleep, right?

But as Law continues to survey the waters surrounding his temporary residence, he spots an anomaly. A tiny boat, rocking on the water as the ocean seems to send more violent waves its way. With squinted eyes, Law observes the miniature ship. It’s hard to see through the oncoming rain, but he can make out the lone passenger’s bent knees. They’re apparently trying to brace themselves as they struggle with the steering mechanism at the front of the boat, and their hair is whipped every which way about their face by winds that must be much stronger that far out at sea. It’s hard to make out their features because of the rain that comes down in sheets over their mysterious figure, but when he finally catches a glimpse of their face, Law’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach.

He watches in horror as, what he now recognizes as your ship, is tossed back and forth on the tumultuous waves. You look over your shoulder and back at the Sunny, before you lose your balance. But your head seems to be struck by something at the front of the ship during your short fall, based on the way you first wobble, almost find your footing by leaning forwards, then jolt backwards. Law yells your name at the top of his lungs, but you do not move.

~

When you open your eyes to find yourself tucked into your bed, you think nothing of it. That is, until the throbbing pain in the center of your forehead reveals itself to you. Then the memories of a storm all come flooding back: the freedom you had felt in your first few moments in open water, alone with your thoughts. How quickly that sense of calmness had turned to panic as the weather changed in an instant, leaving you to desperately try to steer back towards the Sunny in a boat no taller than yourself. Slipping on the small deck, only for your head to hit something and… black out. And you remember Law’s voice, too; he had sounded so distant that it must have been your imagination .

The soft creak of your bedroom door draws you from the rush of memories, and you look up to find Chopper making his way into your room with a tray. He doesn’t realize your eyes are open until he’s set it down on a bedside table, and climbed up onto your bed with a stethoscope in hand.

“Y/n! You’re awake!” he gasps.

You offer a weak smile and attempt to sit up, but the reindeer gently pushes you back down. “Chopper… What happened?”

“You had an accident during the storm 3 days ago-“

“3 days ago?”

“Yes, Nami briefed the crew on it. But then Traffy found you on the Mini Merry 2, a mile from the ship!”

“I- I didn’t know there would be a storm…”

Chopper frowns while placing his stethoscope on your chest. You take 2 deep breaths in and he nods to himself before simply sitting beside you. “What were you doing out there?”

You shrug, “I just wanted to clear my head.”

He pays your arm, “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Traffy, but he cares for you a lot. He used his devil fruit to save you in the middle of the ocean, which… could have ended badly.”

This strikes a chord within you. Of course you knew Law cared for you to some degree, but knowing that he put his own safety on the line to help you in your time of need… Perhaps it was wrong of you to assume he was selfish and cold for refusing to admit what was so glaringly obvious to everyone else. What is now so clear to you, too.

He loves you.

“Oh… And is he-“

“He’s fine, but I prescribed him some much needed rest from coming in contact with sea water.”

Chopper finishes examining you and gives you some pain medication for your head, then leaves you alone to properly wake up and get yourself together. To no surprise, your alone time doesn’t last long as an influx of visitors find their way to your cabin.

First are Nami and Robin, who knew you were awake from hearing your voice through shared walls. They come with a small bouquet of flowers from Robin’s garden in a pretty little decorative vase, and each make themselves comfortable in your room. Though the door is closed, Luffy excitedly barges in soon after, followed by Usopp, then Chopper again. He scolds the two young men for disturbing your peace and possibly riling you up, but you assure the even younger doctor that it’s more than fine. Because, in your opinion, there’s nothing like your nakama’s company to raise your spirits. Zoro must have wandered in at some point and decided to take a nap on your floor, which you only realize when Sanji opens the door and hits the swordsman’s leg when he (gently) kicks it open. They resolve to only glare at each other for a moment before Sanji hands you a cup of something warm and sweet, “For someone warm and sweet.”

The 8 of you spend some time chatting and enjoying your company before you find the courage to ask, “Where is everyone else?”

“Jimbei is steering the ship-“

“Brook is keeping watch-

“And Franky is working below deck. Something about improving the Mini Merry 2… But that’s not really what you wanted to know, is it?”

You feel your face heat up as you meet Robin’s all-knowing eye and shake your head “no.” She smiles at you and giggles pass between your crew mates.

Your friends file out of your room (or are ushered out by Nami and Robin, rather, who insist that you should get some more rest.) But soon enough, there’s yet another knock at your door. Your breath hitches, as you feel you already know who’s on the other side…

“Come in.”

Taglist: @augustanna @lavanderdreamve @pinksaiyans @khaleesihavilliard @jennapancake @pinki-minki @loserbee14 @theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction @nyxlai @mrs-monkey-d-luffy @pi-crust @bookboyfriendssaveme @dark-swedish-suitcase-blog

[luneariaa]

✧ faciens certus.

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : { ps5 } harry osborn x reader.

✰ 𝐰. 𝐜. : 1k+

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : harry stays over your place for the night, and tries his best to convince you that he's alright.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : just pure fluff bc he deserves the world <33

. dividers by @/saradika-graphics !! 🏹

"Just your luck."

You simply said at the auburn-haired male, who just arrived at your place. He settled himself comfortably by the couch of your home, as it started to rain quite heavily outside, hitting every part of the window that's present.

"Gotta admit that I missed the rain. It's been heating up so badly lately." You handed him the glass of hot chocolate with a small smile.

Harry thanked you while grabbing the drink that you gave him, keeping his eyes on you even after he does so.

"Yeah, it feels nice, doesn't it? I mean, the rain makes it colder than usual, but still nice in its' own way."

You nodded a bit as you returned his occasional brief gazes, before shifting your eyes at the TV, which has lost its' signal due to the harsh weather outside, which prompted you to switch it off for now.

Harry gradually puts the glass of his now finished drink down on the table nearby, before letting his eyes stayed upon your standing figure. "Mind if I stay over for the night?"

"You're always welcome to stay here, Har."

An appreciative smile is plastered across his handsome face, deciding to walk toward your direction after bringing a chair along with him, placing it just next to yours. All while his gaze never once averted elsewhere.

"Mhm, you kept staring at me for the past few minutes."

"Got something in your mind?"

The auburn-haired male elicited a chuckle, now managing to fully catch your attention.

"Honestly?"

"I was just thinking, like, you know-- those old times where we used to spend our time with each other here, watching movies till the early hours of dawn.."

By this point, his eyes are shifted elsewhere as he continued further. "My illness, my dad sort of.. kept me away from meeting you before. Surely, there are valid reasons, but still.."

"It's just nice being able to see you again like this with no one else around."

"Ah, I get that." You leaned your back against the chair you're sitting on comfortably. "I missed you for that too."

"But.."

"Nothing's gonna happen to you after this, right..?" You don't know what has driven you to ask such a question since he is, well, already there looking all healthy and fine. You couldn't help yourself-- the deep fear of potentially losing him in any time scares you so much.

His smile gradually falters upon hearing your words; simply because he wasn't expecting that type of response from you-- not in a bad way though.

"You don't have to worry about me. Nothing's going to happen anytime soon. I've taken care of everything."

Harry tried his best to reassure you, yet deep down, he hated himself for a bit due to how much he worried you.

Maintaining his cheery demeanor, he forces himself to bury the feelings of guilt deep within him, knowing quite well that you have every right to feel this concerned over his wellbeing.

He doesn't want to be a liar, but he had to, for your sake. He cared about you too much to see you in this state.

Harry just.. wanted to be normal again, and he missed how things were between you two.

"Nothing's gonna stop that now, right?"

You eventually nodded it off, processing his words within your mind. "Yeah, you got a point."

"I'm sorry, I just.."

Any other thoughts are being shut out for now, his focus-- full of pure tenderness, is now completely on you.

"Hey, you don't have to apologize."

"Just please.. Don't worry about it anymore, okay? It makes me all sad seeing you this way about me. I appreciate you for that, always."

You eventually nodded, albeit wordlessly; not knowing what to say as a reply. Sensing the sudden slight of change, Harry finally decided to stand in front of you-- placing a finger gently beneath your chin.

"I'm fine, see?" He then grabs ahold of one of your hands while squeezing it lightly, which made you stand with him as well. The shared gazes lasted longer than necessary, but none of you cared much.

Just by the way your eyes looked up into his own; it's enough to make his heart race and melt at the same time. Dare he say-- you're so precious to him. He would shamelessly show it through his actions, even after all these years.

Even words couldn't be described with the way you gazed at him like that-- it's too much, yet never enough.

Slowly, and delicately, he guides your hand towards where his heart is; allowing you to feel the beat of his heart, and how he's very much alive to you.

He wouldn't lie, but he smiles so fondly, noticing on how his heart picks up just by the mere touch of your palm against his chest.

"Feel it as much you want."

"Isn't this nice?"

The warmth radiates from your hand alone, but you thought the opposite-- thinking that his heart and body are the ones who provide the most warmth. You needed this.

He's standing in front of you and alive. That's what matters.

A warm chuckle escaped from your lips, trying your best to stay composed since you started to feel a little giddy and silly.

"You're right.. This feels comforting."

All while letting his soft grip upon your hand stays, he now moves your hand from his chest, and onto his forehead. "You can-- I mean, check for my temperature as well, just to try convince yourself further, yeah?"

In truth, he just wanted to feel your touch for much longer, especially right at this moment. The rain outside was almost being forgotten.

Harry smiled over his own words; partly joking about it, but at the same time, he wasn't. You returned his actions with such ease, simply letting your hand stay upon his forehead for a bit longer.

You were being cautious as ever, as if not wanting to accidentally hurt him or anything in that way.

"You don't have to be so careful, you know," he remarks, finding your actions quite amusing to behold, to which you simply laughed it off.

"But I wanted to."

You did something that could be considered as bold afterwards; where you actually gave his cheek a small, yet sweet kiss. It's quite new, as you never had the courage to do something as such despite being friends for years.

"That should take all the remaining sickness away, hopefully."

As much as a sap you're being right now, you couldn't help yourself, especially when he keeps his gaze at you like that. He's just so.. You can't even resist him; feeling the urge to squish him if he was a plushie or anything akin to it.

It's just a kiss on the cheek, but why would he freeze and appear to be surprised by the sudden gesture? You're scared if you might have gotten too far with your actions--

But then, his expression is failing him once the reddish hue starts to form upon his cheeks, sharing a sweet and heartwarming laugh along with you.

Harry knows how much you cared for him; on how gentle you are with him. Even if the whole ordeal turns out to be a platonic one, he wouldn't mind the slightest, as long as you are within it.

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are alright. all rights reserved.

[voidcat]

– call it fate, call it karma

characters: mithrun of the house of kerensil, elf!sorcerer!reader

notes: hello! another fic of mine that rqures a note bc once again i got too impatient. i fear it may not make much sense without the rest. this is originally the first of a 3-part work. because this is a mithrun fic, it has possible spoilers for dunmeshi, especially mithrun, so if you're an anime only, this is your warning. this takes place before the dungeon chapter of mithrun. reader is an elf. there is subtle looking down on southern lands/deeming them as inferior from mithrun's perspective- in dnd, magic users vary and how theyve acquired thier way of casting spells:) a sorcerer is p much "born to it" / in their blood. its not smt theyve studied like a wizard. thank you for reading!

i.

On a breezy day in the southern side, Mithrun, formerly of the house Kerensil, now of canaries, finds himself lost in the cobblestoned streets.

The sun shines bright above his head, creating a makeshift halo on top of his head; the weather has just begun to warm up, he thinks to himself, maybe in small moments such as this, the sun is on his side.

Unlike the lands he is familiar with, the sun is harsher here, the people mixed, one big pot of cultures and species, a stew of life and history; it's what the southern lands are often preferred for, the easier access to various branches of fields and of people. right under one's fingertips, at every five steps one takes.

Though the canaries have graced the place with their presence, it is not a matter to be fretting about. the dungeon roaming side of things almost fall unimportant this time, hence he growing worry he feels within his body as he tries and tries each street entrance he sees, but to no avail, unable to find his way to the palace grounds– taking a look at the horizon, it might be possible he has found a way to stray further away from it even.

The streets well donned with signs as they may be, they are but a book to a blind man when you haven’t got the slightest idea of the city. And so Mithrun finds himself looking around cluelessly, trying not to allow the situation to take its toll on him; keep your head up, chin high, here returns the smile bright enough to light up countless possible suitors’ lives, he takes a step, turns 180 degrees and begins to walk again, back into the crowd that is gathering with each passing minute.

Everyone seems to be in their small little world, preoccupied with those accompanying them. The sun burns bright, few gulls fly by as they greet the cityfolk with their shrieks. Only a few people look up to greet the birds, the kids waving their hands as they jump in the air. He sees a baby trying to grab one of them, a hard task to accomplish from where they lay. A kobold waving its tail eagerly, as if the scene never gets old for him.

The breeze carries the scent of seafoam and Mithrun begins to notice a slight shift in the crowd. With each step, the nonsense chatter of the people begin to change, slowly taken over by what he can guess to be vendors and the like. The strolling rhythm of the people soon replaced by hurried steps and a faster pace of liveliness in the streets. The cobblestones beneath his feet a tad shinier and worn out, he assumes this must be some point of transaction.

Standing where he is, he tries spotting the rough estimation toward the palace, deciding a route for himself from then on. 

The swarm of people suddenly increases, the volume with them as well, and in about five minutes, it all dies down.

It is the instant loss of sound that first draws his attention and Mithrun finds himself unable to hide the surprise on his face. Lips slightly parted, he can taste the air growing lighter with the little amount of people in its vicinity. Forgetting his main task at hand, he looks around, left and right, a tad surprised, a tad observing the place, spotting more and more differences it holds compared to the other streets he has passed thus far.

Mostly vendors selling drinks or tools one might require at the last minute, shops that reek of ink and freshly published books, buy one get the second frog for half the price– do not miss this deal of a– “hello… anyone the–” a foreign voice cuts his thoughts in the middle.

What was it he was reading again? Some nonsense bargain to quickly sell leftover produ–? His thoughts come to a halt when his mind finally registers the foreign voice to be still talking, and presumably its owner waving a hand into his face.

“Ah, there you are! Sir, are you alright?” the voice gets clearer with each syllable, as does his view. 

Before him, stands an elf, no older than him for sure but with a doubt in the back of his mind. If there is one thing he has noticed, it is the southern continent elfs, at least the ones of this city all look remarkably young, younger than their northern siblings for sure; big curious eyes, bright skins glistening under the sun. probably just a side effect of the climate, and perhaps the result of a more leisure life. Starvation is never a thought in the back of one’s mind, causing stress with the passing days when there is no risk of all your crops freezing overnight. 

You could toss the seed of a fruit you ate as you walk, and find it growing into a tree in few years time, he has overheard people say about the lands here before. Fertile lands, rich in culture and nutrients.

“Aah,” your wondering sound draws his attention back on you, “are you lost? Do you need help?”

His lucky hours indeed, he thinks.

With a chuckle, he closes his eyes, bringing a hand to the back of his hand, “ah, is it that obvious?” he asks in a manner others often find shy and friendly.

With a hum, you seem to weigh your answers. “Yes and no.” you say, “if that’s what you’re worried about!” you add as an afterthought.

Then it must be the clothes that gave him away. He finds it odd that someone this far away from the palace recognizes the canaries’ uniforms but apparently possible.

As if reading his mind, you speak “I’m used to people asking for directions. I usually run into people who lost their way here.” with a smile as if sharing some sort of joke, or a secret with him. Maybe the occurrence has happened so frequently you just find it amusing at this point, accepting your fate as it is.

“So, where were you going?” you inquire. “The palace.” he answers curtly.

At his response, your eyes seem to gleam, who knows what it is you have found amusing this time– he begins to wonder if it’d be safer to get directions from a nearby vendor.

“I’m headed around that way too! Come on, just follow me.” you take off before the last word leaves your mouth. Quick, long steps, you create a gap between the two of you before he can catch onto the development of events.

With quick strides, he catches up to you easily, calculating if he keeps the same pace, he will be ahead of you, and lost again, soon, so he slows down, letting his eyes roam.

You walk in rhythm, as if using a song to keep yourself and your steps even. Eyes locked up ahead, only drifting when you pass by a reflecting surface, you seem focused, probably walked the same path countless times before, and become a guide many times as well.

After passing several buildings, the architecture of the city seems ordinary now, the general theme and style making itself apparent with its bronze and corals, warm and earthly tones. He muses whether to hold a conversation be wiser or not.

“So…” he begins as to signal the beginning of a conversation. “Are you a voluntary guide or mandatory?”  

You chuckle at his question and steal a glance his way: “hard to believe but by pure coincidence and luck every single time.” 

“How come?” how often would it have to happen for you to say it like this? “More than I would like to count. And not even mentioning the ones i try to avoid.”

“Such as?..” He lets the question hang. “Ah, just those who are clearly locals but refuse to read the signs right behind them.” you say. 

Suddenly you bring your hands in front of you like those extinct birds, eyes rolled, mimics overly exaggerated “‘How can i get to X street?’. You pitch your voice in a sudden “We ARE in X street! How could you have gotten here without knowing!” you raise your tone, sounding exhausted. 

As quick as you were to make gestures, you drop your arms in front of you as if they are not extensions but just sacks attached to you.

He finds himself giggling at the display. So dramatic.

At his reaction, you gather yourself again and remain your initial self. “You don’t believe me, do you…” you fake a pout. “Well, no matter! I don’t lose anything at the end of the da– cat!” before you finish your word, he watches you rush to your new subject of attention a little ahead of you too.

At the horizon, he sees the palace getting bigger and bigger. As quick as you were to dash, you return just as swiftly.

The walk continues steadily. Was it not for the sun slowly making rounds, its rays shifting the color of the walls, Mithrun wouldn’t have noticed time passing by. You don’t ask much about him, most likely out of respect for a stranger, but still talking nonetheless, pointing at things here and there, giving random information about whatever it is you are showing– be it a concrete part of the city or just a random flower by a windowsill.

The general theme of the streets begin to shift again, foretold by the overtaking scent of something sweet, salty and yeast-y. Up ahead, he can hear the growing chatter of the people once more. 

“From then on, you should just walk straight ahead until you are at a crossroads. Then take a right and keep walking straight until you spot the gates.” you to him and say. So you part ways here, he thinks, recalling what you’ve said earlier when you’ve met.

“I’ve gotta do a quick run somewhere, I walk fast so chances are I will be by your side in no time but if i don’t, and you get lost, you can ask around anyone here now.” you add on as to assure him. What a sense of duty for someone you’ve just met… if this is how you are with everyone you give directions to, then you should be really looking out for yourself.

Yet it is a refreshing reminder, Mithrun finds, that there are still those with innocence and good will, no hidden agendas or the like.

Repeating what you’ve just told him in his head, Mithrun gives you a nod and a formal thanks. Watching as your steps fasten ahead and to the left of the street. So you do walk faster, what a city in hurry with its people, no wonder the cobblestones all look worn out and polished.

As he walks by people, he overhears the time, ease taking over him to know he is not late to anything yet.

The source of the pleasant scent shows itself in the guise of a street lined with bakeries and small market places brimming with freshly picked fruit.

The city gains a different wave of life in this particular street– people more at ease, a perfect representation of the leisurely image they have for themselves. Not a care, not a single worry in the world, a safe haven to live and spend the end of your days.

Among the chatter, his ears pick up on familiar footsteps and he finds himself side by side with you once more. Such a hurry for a lazy city…

Too enamored with the box you now have in your hands, you don’t seem to notice him– or even if you do, you make a good job of hiding it.

It doesn’t hurt to have a companion for the remainder of the path as well, and so he calls out to you “it seems fate allowed us to meet again.” he says with a smile, receiving one in return after you wipe off the short lived expression of surprise on your face.

“Someone was afraid of getting lost again, I see.” you claim playfully.

Putting away the box to a bag, you let it dangle slightly with your steps and refocus your attention back on the road and on Mithrun.

Just as you said, at crossroads the two of you make a right, the sign there only showing the palace ahead.

Well maintained soil and flowers take over the road, adding a faint fragrance to the air.

Each step closer to the gates and with nothing else in the perimeter for you to have gone, Mithrun begins to wonder whether you are prolonging your route for the sake of him or not. 

Only for you both to walk past the gates of the palace; one guard checking his identity and another yours; only for you to carry on walking with him, your end destination revealing itself to be the same as his since the beginning.

At the steps he can hear his teammates' voices in the distance and in the blink of an eye one of the fairies approaches him. Casting a glance at you, and seeing you’re away from the hearing range, attention already elsewhere, he is informed their meeting isn’t until another hour and he can wait wherever he wishes, as long as he arrives prior to 10 minutes.

Bidding the fairy goodbye, he walks up to where you stand, hearing a disappointed sound coming from you at the sight of a butterfly taking off as he arrives.

Noticing his presence when his shadow casts over you, you turn to look up and meet his gaze. “You’re still here?” you sound surprised.

He settles for a shrug, “it seems I have another hour to kill.” 

You seem to be contemplating something, eyes going between the main entrance and him, the entrance and the benches by the gardens– “oh i know!” you sound excited. “How about I give you a reading!” you say more than ask, leaving him no choice but to comply. You seem too excited to be turning down any ways, and so Mithrun finds himself following after you once more.

The palace gardens are wide, starting from the gates and, if the palace plans are like any other, spreading all the across the palace itself, a section of a greenhouse somewhere, a labyrinth of bushes and trees in the back; so much green and so much land, it is impressive how well maintained it is even from the looks of what Mithrun can assume to be the epilogue of the real thing. That’s the thing with southern cultures, as leisure and fertile as they come, theirs is a lifestyle devoted to luxury as well, in all the slight, hidden ways. Hectares and hectares of land worth more than measly chandeliers made of gold. They need constant attending to, care, resources and whatnot.

You walk ahead and settle for a bench made of stone, no different than the ones you have passed along the way, save for the shade falling over its space. Seeing you sit at one end, Mithrun copies your act, the bench itself is long enough for more than three people in regular wear to fit, and wide enough that he cannot sit all the way back. Seeing you positioning yourself sideways, he pauses and lets his eyes wander over the garden section you are at.

Not too far away from the gates but not too out in the open, a decent distance away from every direction one may need to, it mustn’t be the first time you had to kill time here. He wonders whatever is happening that postponed their meeting is the same thing that has you waiting outside all by yourself.

The sound of something dropped onto the bench draws him out of his thoughts followed by the sounds of rummaging through what one assumes to be a bag. Turning to sit sideways like you did, he looks down to spot a box on the middle of the surface. Recognizing it as the box that came into your possession after you first parted ways, his eyes look up, watching as you have one in a bag, your cast upwards, tongue almost sticking out, painting one of those comical poses.

“Found it!” you exclaim more to yourself in victory and redirect your attention to him, only to find him looking back, seeming surprised to realize he was watching you the whole time. Seeing the clueless expression on your face, as if you have no idea what to do or how to live with your shame now, he tilts his head to the side and giggles at your demeanor. Only a few deep breaths later and with his nonchalant reaction do you return to normal, blink a few times then remember what it was you were looking for this whole time.

“Here! Let me do a reading for you.” you say rather excitedly, and yet again, excitement seems to be a part of your nature from his observations so far. “A… reading?” Mithrun sounds confused, he titled the other way this time.

“Yes!” you say as you begin to shuffle the cards. “It’s a relationship reading technically, but a harmless way to pass time that my friends and i often do.” you explain.

Looking down at the cards in your hands, he first notes how worn out they are, like everything else in this city. Then seeing the reds and blacks, as well as the symbols, he finds it odd it’s a simple deck of playing cards. Fortune tellings and readings done with cards often use special decks like tarot after all. The cards don't glide off of each other like a professional deck should, a side effect to their age, but it doesn’t seem to bother you once a bit, your fingers make it work smoothly. Either you must have done more readings than you let on– which he doesn't find plausible, as you sounded a little inexperienced and unsure, or that the cards were passed down to you from someone else. Or you have been introduced to gambling at extremely young ages, which should be more than alarming in his eyes. 

What too much free time brings to lives, it seems. In the northern cities, you don’t have the time nor the luxury to learn to gamble unless you have a life that doesn’t worry about survival. Partially true for his case, he muses, you are either too busy surviving or busy ruling, in charge of something bigger to not have any time left for such petty things.

Suddenly your hands come to a halt and your gaze finds his. “Alright, so, any other na–” you stop mid sentence. “My apologies, I never got your name.” you say sheepishly, waiting.

“Mithrun,” he says, “of the house of Kerensil.” he watches for any sign of recognition in your eyes but to no avail. At most, you seem to ponder in your head ‘where was this name familiar from’, but you don’t seem to know of them, and he cannot blame you, there are many noble families and people often aren't acquainted with them unless they are from the same vicinity. 

Giving him a nod, you test his name on your lips, dragging the syllables, your gaze cast upwards again, then turn back to look at him in a sudden you seem content, you introduce yourself as well.

You place the deck between the two of you almost in a slam and look at him again. Mithrun’s eyes land on the deck, then to your face and back at the deck again, waiting for your instructions.

“You can cut the deck.” you say and watch as he does carefully, a perfect half. Placing the bottom half on top of the top, you hold and right as you are about to pull a card, you notice the box that’s been sitting there this whole time. 

With the back of your hand, you push the box towards him, earning another confused look from Mithrun. Placing the deck, you undo the ribbon at top and open, revealing its content with a sudden burst of the scent of that busy street. “I had purchased extra to share with and to snack later on.” you say, not sparing the pastries a glance. “You can have some.” you urge him to try one. 

Fingers carefully dipped into the box, Mithrun grabs one of the long pastries and brings it out, ‘an eclair, huh’ he recognizes the small sweet to be. Though unlike the classical ones he has come across, this one contains red cubes of something within the cream, cut up strawberries, he assumes; and biting into the pastry, his assumptions are proved correct as he lets the taste linger on his senses.

Seeing him eat and display a face of pleasure, you seem content as well and begin to count each letter of his name, placing seven cards separately, their backs facing the sun. just as he wonders if this was it, you repeat the action, creating seven piles of cards until the deck ends. When you have no more cards to deal, you grab one of the stacked groups and deal them again, and again and again, until you have no more cards to deal, until there are only two piles left. Just as you did when he cut the deck, you place one on top of the other and put all the cards, backs facing the sun.

Just as he thinks, ‘so, this was it?’ you pull the cards from the deck and place them side by side, repeating the process until there are no cards left in your hands. Unlike your dealing and shuffling, you do this part a little slower, he examines. He can see you pull the cards at the top and bottom. Face concentrated, you gather the pile of cards back into a deck and start over. “Anyone in your life, or a certain someone in your mind?” you ask, eyes finding his.

His mind goes to his beloved at your question, but he chooses to be silent. “My cards are rather old, and I don't like to make mistakes.” you say, not allowing for silence to gather. “So when I pull the two cards, I pull each one separately. My friend pulls both with only two fingers rather smoothly actually, hers is much more pleasant to watch.” so you did notice him observing after all. Pulling and placing another couple of cards, you suddenly stop and place them to the other side, away from the pile. He shouldn’t be guilty of observing though, when you are doing all the work and the other party has no choice but to wait, one either talks or watches, no inbetween. 

He watches as your hand quickly places another double to the side, a few spaces later and another one again. So this is how it is, he thinks, as you gather the deck one last time and repeat the process a third time.

When finished, you spread the remaining cards in a line and quickly count the amount or pairs, tell him to pick the same count of cards. Staring at the cards laid down before him, Mithrun picks each card carefully, reaching them out to you face down, as you take each and place it on top of an existing pair. When he picks the last one, you speak up: “now pick three more.”

He recalls what he heard from the others before regarding cards and readings, dont think too much, pick quickly. His hand goes on its own and he picks the first card; “you” the card taken from his hand and placed down, your voice fills the air. His hand darts to another card, and you take it from him in no time; “the other party.”. There is something in the way you started speaking that gives him an odd feeling. Without looking, he picks his final card and holds it out for you to take, “your future.” you simply say.

Flipping the cards on top of the doubles, you stay silent for a while, looking at each card and muttering something to yourself.

Then with a sudden clap of your hands, you look up. “alright, so!” you begin, waiting just to make sure you have his attention on you, “this is mostly a silly thing we use to pass the time and there is no guarantee the cards say the absolute truth. With some of us, the readings made no sense until the reader and the one being read got to know each other and became friends.” you ramble off, “although, with some people I later grew to be friends with, I got their latest relationship right in the cards so… I suppose it’s a fifty-fifty situation, alright?” your rambling comes to a stop and you offer him a smile. Out of pity or some sort of consolation, he doesn't know. He didn’t watch carefully enough to learn how you opened the cards, so the possibility of giving him all the info you have on this is out the window too.

Flipping the remaining cards, you leave the last three and begin to tap on each couple plus singular piles of cards.

“Hmm… jealousy… trouble… the relationship card is there too but ah… could it be really yours?” you speak more to yourself than to him and Mithrun finds himself leaning in.

He doesn’t believe in such things like fortune telling, everyone decides their own fate, craft their lives with decisions they make. A random made up reading a stranger made for him out of nowhere won’t have an affect on him. But then again, his mind stops for a second, straightening up, he waits, still– he senses no mana in the air so even if you manage to get some things right regarding his life, it will be a lucky guess and no ruse, he thinks. 

For such leisure lives, one would expect people to use magic in their daily lives too, yet from all the minutes he has spent by your side so far, he hasn’t felt a drop of mana— so much so, the lack of it would be found eerie by other elves.

“It is a little vague but that’s what the last three are for.” you begin speaking. “So it goes like this: there is jealousy and yearning, an offer that will come with time and a relationship that has jealousy on it. There is trouble as well, with time– assuming the relationship is yours, a third person might cause trouble; but if it is not, then… well,” you pause, a sad look on your face, “I am sorry, I hope whatever happens works in your favor.” you say. As he begins connecting what you have said with his life, doing his best to keep his brother’s image away from his mind, you flip the three cards in order.

“Oh…” you sound upset, and a little surprised. So it is the latter, he gathers.

“I was hoping maybe the ‘offer’ card would come second here but i suppose not.” you say and show him the cards.

“You, jealousy; the other party, agape; and the future…” your brows furrow, “time.” 

Silence takes over the two of you for a while. Just the sound of leaves rustling with the breeze, some cicadas, and the birds in the distance communicating.

“Welp! As I said, sometimes when it’s a stranger, the reading itself makes no sense.” you speak up suddenly, bringing a hand to your hair, seeming apologetic. 

Gathering the cards together in one go, you collect them into a deck again and put away, avoiding Mithrun the whole time. Placed in their case and out of sight the traitorous cards are, your hand makes way for one of the pastries, carefully placing it between your fingers so as to not get any of the chocolate coating touching your skin. You bite into the small treat intently, careful not to have the cream filling overflowing.

“I hear footsteps, they must be finished inside.” you say as you take your last bite and nudge the box to him to take another one. Seeing as your offer will not end until he complies, he grabs another eclair and slowly munches on the pastry as you close the box and gather your belongings, preparing to take off.

“Do you remember the way back?” you ask, standing above him. When he replies with a nod, you let out a sigh. “Alright then, I will be taking my leave. It was my pleasure meeting you and making your acquaintance for the day!” and with it, you turn on your heels and walk just as you came, still fast and rhythmic; as if walking at a slower speed is physically impossible for you. With the eclair still in his hand, Mithrun sits a little longer, letting the breeze carry away all the thoughts your cards have brought him. Looking at you go, you never once turn back, odd, he thinks, you almost seemed the type to turn one last time and wave a hand.

[lil--nuggett]

Hey guys, so if you know Baldur's Gate 3 this is an AU for that with Hardenshipping but it's really fucked up. I will explain why it's fucked up below the cut.

Maxie is a High Half-Elf Warlock (his patron is Groudon), and Archie's a Human Fighter <3

Also I just realized this is the first time you have seen me draw Archie seriously lmao my bad guys I'll try to draw him again soon

I took a ton of inspiration for various things for these designs, including Guile for Archie's armor bc I love Guile sm!!

(More info and our dumb AU lore under here - No BG3 Spoilers I promise <3)

I'm going to tell you this now... this gets really fucking crazy and honest to god I know I'm going to have a hard time explaining this. It WILL be quite long and I WILL be yapping.

This AU is really just something we did on impulse and it's really fun to mess around with, so I'm hoping you all will enjoy the concept as well :)

I'll try to explain it simply as I can. I thank you in advance to all who sit here and read this ily sm if you read it all <3333

Anyways, okay so imagine how one could do a bg3 AU for these two fuckers...

And throw it right out the window because you'll never guess how me and my friend have done it.

The Backstory:

This all started when my friend decided to play BG3 for the first time, and he jokingly said to me "Should I make Maxie our main character??" and I replied "I you want, but I won't force you" and thus BG3 Maxie was created, and his misadventures began.

Now your probably wondering (if you've played the game) what about the guardian?? Who did we make the guardian?? Well, we made Archie the guardian. However, I did not know just how wild this idea would get within the next few days.

So, eventually we realized how crazy the BG3 lore actually is (it's a like fucking DnD campaign idk how we didn't realize this beforehand), and so, we jokingly started our own "AU Lore" that ties in with the BG3 Lore.

If you really want to know, I have an entire note in my notes app dedicated to keeping track of what happens. It is very long.

The Parasite:

Now, if you've played the game or know anything about it, you know about the Mindflayer parasites. Well, one fateful day, me and my friend joked that the Parasite in Maxie's head was this little freak who looks like Archie.

The two have no correlation other than looks, its completely coincidence and it's not a mimic situation. The Parasite "Archie" does nothing but talk nonsense to Maxie all the time, and initially the bit was that he only talked about Fortnite. All because I made the joke that the dream realm in game looked like a fortnite update. By now, that bit has fallen off (thank god), replaced by just general nonsense and lies.

Also he fucking looks like this:

Weird little freak. This is just one of his talk sprites I have, this is just his neutral expression.

So basically it's:

- Maxie was supposed to be on a Geology research trip, but instead he got dragged into the Parasite issue with the rest of the companions. He really just wants to get home to Archie.

I am the one who handles everything for Maxie in this AU, I do his voice, I handle his lore, etc.

- Parasite Archie is this 1 foot tall, neco arc-esque version of Archie that sits on Maxie's shoulder and tells him nonsensical things. He also says Maxie's name wrong, he says Maxie's full first name and pronounces it as "Maximilliam" instead of the "N" at the end. For Maxie it's like handling a toddler but the toddler fights back, doesn't shut up, and threatens your life. He also has a ton of his own lore that my friend continously adds on to, so I can make another post with just the parasite's part of things.

My friend handles everything with the Parasite himself, comes up with the lore, does the voice, etc. I simply keep track of it.

- The "dream visitor" version of Archie is not real either. It's linked to the Parasite in ways that if I get into it, I will spoil a good chunk of the game. Sorry. Just know you can consider this and Parasite Archie kind of as one in the same almost.

- The REAL Archie is still at home, completely unaware of what's happening, while Maxie is fighting for his life. He does miss him, though, and hopes he gets home soon. He and Maxie are only boyfriends, they haven't gotten married yet. (They also haven't been through their rivalry yet, as this all takes place before that happens.)

Sorry for the convoluted yap sesh, I just have more art planned for this stupid AU and- God I cannot possibly just post this shit with no context. Like, I'd have to explain it eventually so I might as well do it now beforehand yk 😭😭

I might do separate posts with our HCs and some silly conversations that have happened between Parasite Archie and Maxie if you guys would want that :)

Also, I do have all of the sessions from where my friend plays the game recorded and I'll be sure to post some clips of what Parasite Archie sounds like eventually, possibly with snippets of my shitty Maxie voice in there as well. You'll get to see the talk sprites in action with that, too.

[justjasper]

Creation of the Pan Flag

Copied (with grammar/spelling mistakes) from my twitter thread about it for posterity.

I was going to do this for Pride weekend but you know, life, so: I wanted to talk about a thing. I created the #pansexual flag, a thread.

Back in 2010, I was 20 and tumblr was my main social playground. I was active in various spheres, and I was learning.

I'd been IDing as bi since I was 13, but moved away from bi as an identifier and took up pansexual soon after discovering the term, bc I felt it fit better.

This is mainly bc the simplicity of pan being defined as attraction to any/all genders was extremely appealing to someone really coming into this new way of expressing their orientation like tumblr allowed. It felt right for how I wanted to relate to and express my orientation.

The bi communities I had access too often saw heavy discussion related to attraction parametres of "bi" - convos at the time I didn't really recognise for what they were: bi people working hard to define bisexuality on their terms, tackling intra-community transphobia, (cont)

(cont) and developing within a social space where more expansive gender experiences and identities were becomes more well known and understood.

My switch of labels was about finding something that felt truly right for me, but it would be dishonest to pretend the decision wasn't impacted by the politics and "discourse" I was involved in at the time.

There was no popular pan flag, and the offerings were frankly... ugly. To me. Various shades of purple, P letters, P symbols incorporating gender symbols, infinity symbols. They didn't feel consistent with the other pride flags.

So on a whim, I decided to design one. I designed it to be pretty, honestly. That was a primary function of it, to have s/t I liked to represent my identity. No point pretending I was trying to be super innovative and deep: I wanted something pretty to plaster on my blog.

Pink, yellow, blue. A strong magenta, a strong gold yellow, and a light cerulean. The pink not too purple, the yellow not too bright, the blue not too cyan. Hex FF1B8D, FFD900, 1BB2FF.

Pink and blue, because of their gendered traditions, and yellow, a generally non-gendered colour, to represent nonbinary folks etc.

I created it anonymously, on a side blog away from my main handle. I was already running LGBTLaughs which was proving very popular in tumblr and didn't want to monopolise queer blog space, I suppose.

I didn't expect it to take off. It proved popular on tumblr, and for a few years the flag kept getting added to the Wikipedia 'pansexual' page and then removed. Eventually it snowballed and ended up in use well beyond tumblr.

As I've got older I've realised a lot of people would be interested in knowing this part of modern queer history, and more about modern flag creation in general, and that it's worth documenting. Not for credit so much as for posterity.

So, that's that. The first time I saw a pansexual flag in real life at my city's Pride parade I may have had a little cry.

Twitter Drama

Best viewed on the original twitter thread, for the full documentation (I may update this with fuller documentation down the line) but here's a rundown of drama surrounding the flag.

First, to set the stage:

posted about designing the pan flag

said i was cool with bi/pan lesbians

said i was cool with kink at pride

Thus followed, in varying intensity 2020-2022:

misgendering

suicide bait

general harassment/pile-on

"called out" on r/pansexuals

blasted on sapphics for satan (fb)

now sworn enemy of of lesbian kpop avi twitter

claims the original pan flag was transphobic in meaning

multiple "new" pan flags designed to displace the one i designed

claims i stole the flag from a medieval indian kingdom, and subsequent vandalisation of wikipedia for the actual state of kerala

vandalisation of the wiki page for the pan flag, resulting in it having to be locked

[twistedbloodstain]

vincent de gramont x reader: you had a speech, you're speechless | the calm before the storm.

plot: the one where you try to get what you want.

warnings: (plot could be reader girlbossed,gaslighted and gate kept her way to success?), more threats, vincent slowly loses the idgaf war bc he’s down bad, bad transitions bc this was supposed to be one part only :<, ooc!vincent (he liked playing savior in this sorry)

masterlist

part one

you sat as you stared in silence.

you were still in the marquis’ estate, still imprisoned but only for a few more days until you make your departure to the tokyo continental with caine.

you were bored and impatient right now.

earlier you decided to make use of the large library the marquis had, a large book about dangerous poisons found in the wild that was supposed to occupy you was abandoned on your lap.

the room was quiet, but you? not so much. pent up rage was scratching to get out of you the longer you spent under his roof.

the threat of the death of your family still loomed over your head like a noose, the marquis was taking every measure to keep you obedient to his requests, thankfully you were still informed on the current plans of evasion once john wick was confirmed to be within the territory of the hotel.

you were informed yesterday that once he was sighted on continental grounds while being stalled by your father, the marquis’ men would storm into the hotel blocking every crevice for exit. the marquis chose to at least have sixty men enter the premises but you couldn’t help but worry with how little it would matter for wick.

you feared for your father’s safety, you preferred to keep him away from john’s grasp afraid that when his trick was uncovered his blood would be the first one to spill on the ground. you wanted to raise concern about this but your voice mattered little to the interests of the table.

you were not in favor of the attack being in the tokyo continental, much more with your family present during it.

as of today, no briefing of further improvements from the plan hasn’t been given to you. it made you antsy and nervous with the current steps provided, you wanted your family safe and sound by the end of this. so you came up with a different approach which you wanted to share with the marquis, once you’re called to his office.

a sound resonates through the room, someone knocks the door you voice out for the person to come in and the door opens. a guard enters the room and tells you the marquis would like to see you. 

you nod and make your way to the door.

once you face the familiar door of the marquis’ office, you hesitantly knock and swallow all your fear and trepidations, shrugging it off in exchange for your strength. you found it difficult to deal with him, not when he always reminded you of murdering your family.

the door’s opened by a pair of guards, revealing the marquis sat on his office chair. you walk inside to the table where he gestures for you to sit down. you accept and plop yourself on the cushioned chair.

you greet him with a false smile plastered on your face.

“i have something to ask you, mademoiselle.” he starts.

“ask away.” you reply leaning back on the chair to relax.

“do you have the faintest idea where john wick might be?” he asks in wonder.

“i’m afraid not.” you hesitantly answer.

“hm..my men say the same. such a disappointment.” he mutters, you ponder if you or his men were the disappointment he was referring to.

“still no word from him?” you question.

“none, not a single trace of him.” he replies in annoyance, “the tokyo continental reports that he has not made his entry yet, you may be coming back later than predicted.”

“perhaps..i may be of help.” you carefully trudge out. he laughs in delight and faces you, staring into your eyes.

“and how would i do that by letting you leave? you know the answer to that.” he chuckles.

“no..of course not. i’m starting to enjoy the lovely company of your estate, it would be horrible to leave so soon.” you scoff at that in hilarity. you did wish could leave his estate right now and you did plan to offer finding john yourself but was quickly extinguished, luckily there’s also plan b.

“i know someone,” you continue, “a tracker, a damn good one at that. if you let me speak to him, surely he would be able to find john wick in less than a day.” you persuade him.

the marquis frowns at that, he remained unconvinced with your idea. clearly, the thought of you running off to betray him was still fresh in his mind after all your steadfast refusal of him a few days earlier were still present.

it would take more than sweet and flowery words to get him to slowly listen to what you have to say, even if it’s very unpleasant for you.

it’s not like you have much of a choice when it comes to him, you either have to endure your stone cold facade or delicately peel your layers down for him.

you need to appear genuine to him, that your interests have finally aligned with his and he can trust you on fragile matters such as the one he is facing right now. he needs to be convinced that like him, you are just as determined to see john wick dead.

you’ll need to trick him with his desires and ideas. manipulate his pride and fears to bend his will to yours just as he did to you.

you’re not the only one who knows how to play, you thought.

he has often weaponized your love for you family to force you to obey him, a sharp weapon he has wielded against you and others, like caine. you don’t want to end up like caine, like a dog that sits and barks according to his master’s command. you cannot afford that especially with your family’s line of work and the marquis’ empty words.

but neither does he know the very sword he held could be used against him, with the right movement and grip it could be used to slit his throat and he wouldn’t see it coming.

“although your offer is welcomed, i have reasons to doubt the skill of this tracker you speak of.” he responds, reclining on his chair.

“i know.” you whisper, “but if his skill is the reason for your doubt, i can only say he’s the most efficient one i know of.”

“tell me, mademoiselle what is his name?” he inquires, digging into your offer.

“i’m not quite sure what his name is but he refers to himself as a “nobody”” you eagerly reply.

“any man who is afraid to reveal himself is a coward,” he retorts.

“well, we never bothered to inspect and investigate his real name out of respect and professionalism, he delivers as expected and requested.” you defend.

“tell me about this mr. nobody’s work.”

“we hired him when he started his early days as a tracker, my…mother and i were abducted by some russian mafia in our home.” you sigh shakily, “my father had hired every available tracker and assassin staying in the continental but they returned empty handed or their head in a box. out of pure desperation, a man offered to find us and return with information.” you continued.

“in less than two days, he returns with the intel and later that very same day, i came home.” you finish.

“and your mother?”

you open your mouth but nothing comes out, the world seems to halt as you recount the events that occurred during that day. you swallow a sob and sigh shakily again before trying to find your words. nothing comes out of your mouth as you fiddle with your hands, when you look up you see the marquis staring at you.

“i..i don’t..i can’t”  you look away from him and stutter, a tear falling down on your cheek.

“i apologize for pressing on, i should’ve known that something frightening like that must still hurt.” he apologizes.

“no..it’s alright. i understand.” you exhale nervously.

“i know that both of us started on the wrong path but rest assured, my loyalty and obesience is tied to you just as my family is. you have no reason to trust me as your advisor or confidant but i promise you, from this day and forward i will give you no reason to distrust me,” you announce, “i want us to be allies, you have proven yourself a better ally and a formidable foe. i want you to succeed, for my family’s sake and yours, let me help you.”

you finish your words, slightly breathless from it. you watch carefully for the marquis’ reaction to your words, for any trust or strife that might develop on his very lovely face.

quite unfortunate you plan on seeing that face dead on the floor.

the marquis stands up from his chair and your blood runs cold, still unsure with what he was going to do with you. he leaves his chair and makes his way towards you, you keep your eyes on him just as his eyes are on you. 

his eyes were empty and uncanny but still carried a certain steel to them, like it carried unbridled violence and anger under that polished and elegant exterior fighting to get out. he stops in front of you, still sitting on the chair and reaches for your hand.

you let him take it curious as to what he was going to do with it, your sense slowly going manic out of fear that he might hurt you because he saw through your farce attempt to sway him.

the jolt of pain never arrives.

instead a delicate gesture is given to you, probably the most delicate thing he’s ever given you.

he kissed your hand.

the back of your hand.

your brain short circuited from that in confusion, was it an odd french tradition or act was happening right now, you never expected the marquis to be a gentleman especially with how rough you had been handled to captivity.

you look up at him, your hand hovering over his lips and a strand of hair falling on his forehead. if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was an eligible prince out of fairytale stories, all princely and honorable. he certainly looks the part, but you know what his nature is like, he has violent impulses and greedy desires the keeps him together.

“i believe you, mademoiselle. i will be willing to accept any offer of your help to improve our current operation.” he promises.

“thank you.” you put on the sweetest smile and probably the only genuine smile you’ve cooked up under his roof. slowly but surely, it can be safe to assume that you’d wormed your way into his head with a sob story and a few tears.

“perhaps, you’d like to discuss more of your suggestions over dinner?” he offers.

and lovestruck? or cuntstruck, you’re not sure, that part surprised you but you’ll welcome it nonetheless, any opportunity to warp his decisions is appreciated.

tears are a woman’s weapon, also what’s between their legs but god knows that you don’t need the latter for that when it comes to him hopefully, you could tease him for that or toy with him but it won’t come to the point you’ll give it to him, your tears were sufficient enough.

“of course.” you beam at his request.

the pieces of his downfall fall into their places.

you finish tucking the buttons of your coat as you prepare to leave the estate, you were currently shrugging on your trench coat that was graciously returned to you, you had worn it on your arrival here and it had sentimental value to you so..yay.

you fix the sleeves to fit your arm, the weather outside was freezing cold with the current storm raging outside the walls of the marquis’ estate. you search for your gloves and speak of the devil, who was sitting on the couch of the guest room.

“are you sure you wish to join them, mademoiselle?” he inquests in annoyance.

“it’s my father’s territory, he will need me.” you reply.

“i’m quite sure that they will be fine on their own.” he mumbles slowly but still clear enough to hear.

you look back at him as slowly sips the glass of wine perched on his hand. he held and drank it with a certain grace and poise that you’re sure only nobility does. that’s what he was though, he was a marquis. it’s only fitting.

you don’t bother to make a reply for his statements of contention, he had already given his word to you and it was already settled, you are leaving for the tokyo continental. although he doesn’t seem lenient you don’t need to wander far enough to know the reason why.

maybe your little game of manipulating him to his good graces went a tad bit too far, ever since the both of you began to have dinner together ever since that night he insisted to dine with you for the following days, saying something about “business talks”, despite the fact that once the doors closed and the both of you were seated, the talk of work seemed little to none as the days pass by.

you could see through his bluff, if there were another pair of eyes and a brave tongue it would be logical to say that he likes you and that these dinners were an attempt of courtship.

the marquis courting you, very funny.

if you told yourself this would happen a few weeks ago, you might’ve laughed yourself out. yet it’s here, the marquis likes you and he is courting you. you anticipated his allyship, that he might see you as a business companion rather than someone he’d be interested in but you don’t mind. you did achieve his trust and somewhat assisted him in some matters so you don’t mind when he stares at you most of the time even if it feels eerie.

out of caution and to keep him pleased, you tolerated his advances. you accepted the invitations to dinner,lunch, breakfast and every mealtime possible, you gave your most genuine advice when he asked for it and you graciously accepted his gifts, all expensive with the might that money could buy.

and you force a sweet smile every time he enters the room, just to make him think it’s reserved for him and only for him. you charmingly call out his name, just to make his head turn and keep his attention on you. most of all, you chuckle when he hints on keeping you here with him.

…

when you first heard this you almost lost your composure, almost cracking your exterior but you’ve seen with your wit and his combined every business operation that occurred had gone smoothly for the past weeks, you assumed it’s only practical for him to keep wise people around him so you shrugged it off.

however, it happened several more times. you realize that it meant more than that, he actually fucking likes you. not in a business sense but in a love interest kind of sense, you were in deep trouble because you understood that you had to be more careful than ever but also you had him blind enough to no longer see the betrayal that lingered beneath your skin.

his hints were…frightening to say the least, you had no intention of extending your stay in his estate but his words were unsettling with how he could just act on them with the snap of his fingers.

at first they had been polite, more like an invitation than an intrusive thought that left his mind. he gave out invitations on extending your stay for “business” and when you courteously refused he’d assert on you coming over for specific times of the year where “the weather is the loveliest”. you looked up the dates he’d given out and it revealed to be the worst times and you can’t help but ponder if the marquis actually appreciated these times and it was a personal preference or it was just a coincidence that flights were usually delayed or unavailable during it.

the ones that followed were the hardest to deflect, he’d contend for you to visit specific places like museums or lavish art shows. you’re quite sure that it’s an effort to make you fall in love with the place but you’ve either politely accepted or declined.

the latest statements started with some parts of the estate that you appreciated which seemed harmless at first but then raised some concerns, he mentioned how awful you must miss it when you leave and that he wouldn’t be bothered if you stayed for a few more months.

yes. he said months.

you almost spat out your drink because of that but gladly you easily regained your composure and expressed how you wish you could hide away from the world to spend time in his garden.

all lies of course.

you give out a small smile and finally make your reply, his eyes expectant for your words.

“i agree, but it doesn’t hurt to be cautious. does it not?”

“i suppose you are right.” he gives in, his face slowly merging into the cold stature quite unpleasant that you didn’t insist to stay.

“oh, i think i forgot to mention this to you but my sister and i have this matter to take care of..around here. can i expect you to host us?” you suggest to him, you almost see his eyes light up in happiness and the cold stature disappears, a smirk replacing it.

“of course. anything for you, mademoiselle.” he beams.

“lovely.” you smile at him again.

you didn’t have any work to do here with your sister. it was just a lie to keep him happy of course but you found yourself keeping him delighted more than ever. it was becoming pathological, whether it was keeping him satisfied or successfully cooking up a lie on the spot.

you turn your back from him again and walk towards the table stationed beside the mirror. you spot the black briefcase on the table and open it, a click echoes through the room as the case reveals a silenced handgun perched delicately between the satin cushion.

another precaution in case things get even uglier.

“i have something for you.” the marquis calls out, you hear the glass of wine clinking as it’s set on a glass table and his footsteps that get louder while he heads towards you.

this is it.

in a span of a hours or days you’ll be safe.

you’ll never have to worry about your family being slaughtered like pigs ever again.

john wick will give you the solace and vengeance you’re yearning for.

and the marquis will be dead.

he’ll be dead.

he has to.

no more spending your mealtimes with him. no more walks in the garden of his cavernous estate. no more deep talks of analysis about paintings or musical pieces the world offered.

there won’t be vincent, vincent who is looming behind you as you tuck the gun underneath your coat.

he won’t be there anymore. you exhale.

“close your eyes, mademoiselle.” he softly whispers into your ear, you realized how close he was within your proximity with how you could hear his breath, “one last gift before you leave.”

you stop your movement and indulge in him for one last time.

you close your eyes and harden yourself, remembering the things he said to you under captivity, how he easily threatened to murder your father and sister as if it was a simple greeting to you. how he always held power in the room whenever you were there. how it would be a piece of cake for him to kill you within a second if he wanted.

you feel something cold trace your neck, you flinch and reach up to grasp it until you’re stopped with vincent’s palm, which is comparably larger than yours. he softly rubs his fingers into the back of your hand, making smooth circles to soothe you when he noticed your apprehension.

“you have nothing to fear. this is a gift, you will see it when i tell you to open your eyes.” he tuts.

for a moment, you thought he was going to strangle you until you came to your senes and realized it was likely a piece of jewelry. you lower your hand wanting to get rid of the contact your hand made with his. his hand stayed for a few seconds before squeezing it then letting go.

his hands linger behind you, now at your hair tucking it to the side so he could hook the necklace in place. it takes him a several seconds to achieve that, the warmth of his fingers sometimes making contact with your neck every one in a while. everytime it made contact, goosebumps erupted on your arm and a warm flush appearing on your face.

you two have never been this close.

whenever it was dinner, the both of you were at least a few meters away whilst you chatted and ate. when it was for the walks you both kept a respectable distance from each other.

this is is entirely different.

“open your eyes.” he whispers again before turning you to face him.

you open them and glance down at your chest, you see the thin silver chain that was adorned around your neck and a small pendant that rested high. your eyes widen when you realize what the pendant was.

it was his sigil. it was the marquis’ sigil around your neck.

the very same sigil pinned on the blazer of his suit.

not a lot of people can don it.

you look up to him speechless. your brain couldn’t formulate a single coherent thought with what just happened. vincent on the other hand, looks pleased with himself. he seemed to enjoy your state of shock and confusion.

you might’ve belittled what he felt for you. surely, this really means something.  you didn’t expect him to be so bold with his affection, he was leaving his mark before you left, even with the reassurance that you would return.

he wants everyone to now that even if he isn’t in the room and you aren’t within his estate, you were his.

“do you like it? looks familiar no?” he teases, before taking another step closer to you, you wanted to take a step back but because of your shock you failed to do it.

he takes the pendant and toys with it on his hands, a smile forming on his lips as he stares into your eyes and you realized he’s waiting for your answer.

“it’s beautiful.” you squeak.

his smile even widens with your reply, “i’m glad you like it. i have more trinkets shaped like this, i would be happy to show them to you.” he offers.

“yes, that would be certainly interesting.”

he lets go of the pendant and lets his hand linger below your face, he stares at you and you look at him wary of the next thing he might do. your brain is not processing anything right now and the next thing shakes you to your core. vincent hesitantly reaches up to the side of your face to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

your entire body shuts down as he leans even closer and his hand leaves your hair as it travels to your jaw, he redirects your gaze to him.

“i want you to stay safe. do not deviate from the plan no matter how chaotic it gets, if things end up worse than expected you know where the extraction site is, let caine lead. if you see john wick do not go after him. do you understand?” he whispers.

still speechless, with the constant shock going through your body, you failed to make a reply which even solidified another shocking event to stun you even more.

with your lack of reply his other arm reaches behind and grasps your waist and pulls you towards him, flushing your body against his warmth. you gasp stunned with how close the both of you are as your hand flies to his elbow from the sudden movement.

vincent squeezes your waist to soothe you. he’s holding you and it feels so nice. so warm and comfortable, like you’re right where you belong. you can’t help but hesitantly lean into his touch when you notice the anxiousness from your lack of words.

“if you’re suddenly not feeling well, you can always stay here to wait it out.” he offered as his eyes soften when he sees you leaning into him.

the next set of words are what snaps you out of your shock, you’re snapped back to what you’re here for. what you intended to do to him. all his threats and words flow right back into your mind and your fear because him erupts again.

you cannot let this happen.

you can’t enjoy this. you shouldn’t enjoy the touch of the same man who threatened to slaughter your family in front of you and threatened to kill you. the same man who forced you to do things that made you feel pathetic inside. how can he gave you a necklace you become butter in his hands? you can’t give into him, you’ve suffered through days of captivity and attempts of manipulation and left in one piece, you can’t lose right now.

not when you’ve gotten this far. not when you’re so close to winning against him.

you lean back away from him, the sugarcoated answer lingering on your lips to get what you want but to also appease him.

you smile at him as pieces of his downfall slowly starts to come together.

you’re being dragged.

two men are dragging you somewhere and it the fact that you’re blindfolded only makes shame sink into your gut even deeper. 

the essence of failure is a scent that you are sunk into right now, john wick as expected had managed to evade the sixty men the marquis had provided, the very same sixty men also managed to snuff out a large portion of staff in the tokyo continental.

duty. honor. family.

three things you have lived and would die for no matter the situation. all of these are why you continue to fight the losing game that you didn’t know you were playing at first. so had your father.

your father had sensed the uncanny and lengthy stay you had in france so naturally he assumed that you were held against your will and naturally he sided with john to get you back. you genuinely thought that he had bought the farce the marquis gave, especially with the letter you gave.

but who are you if not fretful? your duty is to your family and no one else’s, not even the high table’s. of course your father would know that the letter was coerced.

behind a large pillar you witnessed the altercation in the tokyo continental go from neutral to worse, for you to witness several acquaintances die under other people’s hands was painful to see only for you to run away in the shadows and red lights in search of the man the marquis specifically prohibited you from finding. you can’t let them die in vain so you move on, you look for john wick.

you scoured every corner of the hotel, hearing gunshots echoing through the halls, grunts of pain, screams of agony and skin slicing under the weight of knives but to no avail. john wick had left, and you felt pathetic once again. how are you going to make this work if the most crucial part wasn’t here?

your father who had refused to comply with the marquis has bled for you and you can’t even do anything to return the gesture.

the first piece that made your stomach ache in dread.

it made you change your priorities.

you decided to just run. run with your family and go somewhere safe, and hope for the best. not much of a plan but when your shoulders are shaking and tears are rolling down your cheeks you can’t exactly make a concrete plan. the only thingy you needed to do right now was find your father and sister, silently praying they made it out alive.

you made your way towards the discreet pier where the hotel’s safest escape route was, only to find no one there but an empty boat and puddles of blood on the ground. you paused, everything overwhelming your senses. you were too late.

author’s note: vincent back with the one sided affection again!!! i stg it’s so fun writing him when he’s yearning and stuff…contemplating whether i should write the next part in his pov bc it eats up 🔛🔝 anyways feel free to like and reblog or comment! i am also accepting requests :)

[youremyheaven]

I love the way you advice a lot of people here, so I wanna open up and tell you what's happening in my love life to see what you can say to me, maybe it'll make me feel better afterwards.

So, I'm seeing this guy for 8 months now, we're working together in a project. He's 12 years older than me (he's 37), has a little girl of 4, and he's single.

Since we started hooking up, he always told me he didn't wanted a relationship with anyone. He sees other people, he told me that even. He's honest with his intentions with me, he never made anything more to seems he wanted something more than casual sex with me. Until now..

The funny part is that I was a virgin, and as we were seeing each other, he didn't wanted to have sex with me, he thought it was too much responsibility for him to do so.

I understood and last month when I convinced myself he'd never ever have sex with in the near future, he decided it was ok and we did it a few days after my birthday.

It was his gift for me, and it was very special. A few days earlier of all of this , we had an event in our job/project when he saw my little sister and my parents, he interacted with them the whole night and he wanted to kiss me so bad that day, but we agreed to let things under the surface.

Anyway, a few days passed, I had my first time. 2 weeks later was his birthday then. Everything was too deep and close to home for him in the beginning of our situationship (EVEN GOING OUT ON A DATE WAS TOO MUCH lmao) but since we had sex, AFTER MONTHS SEEING EACH OTHER, last week he asked me to join him in the shower and we showered together and then we had sex again (I guess it was my birthday gift for him). He's being pretty affectionate, we're not having sex, we're making love.... anyways, I'm falling deeply in love with him, I finally accepted that within myself after a looong time denying.

Last week he told me laughing that he saw my best friend on tinder, and that broke my heart :)))))) wtf why are you still on tinder, are you denying your feelings too!?!? I kinda showed him I was disappointed, and he told me I should have other guys too....

Girl I swear to god, I don't know what to think, I just need to tell him as soon as possible that I'm in love with him and I'm leaving this for good, I don't wanna get hurt. We're still going to work together... deep inside I'm hopeful he's changing his mind about having something more with me (the last time he told me about having something more with anyone was 3 months ago), but idk, I don't wanna be delusional. He had his heart broken with his ex and he still sees her, they have a child together so I know that's hard for him. But I like him so so so much, I wanted to have a chance to show him he can be loved again.

That's it, sorry for the long text but I feel fucked up :(

First of all, tysm cutie 🥰🥺🫶🏼💛

I don't want to make it seem like I know everything or whatever bc God knows I don't lmao 🤣😭

All that said. I completely understand how different circumstances persuade us to act in ways that are at odds with common sense and love/romance/relationships etc is one such area

I don't know how else to say it to you and I apologise in advance for being blunt but this man does not love you or care for you. Please RUN from him. He had EIGHT whole months with you and he was seeing other people??? That itself is insane to me. You wanted your first time to be with him, it happened etc, that's okay. However I gently want to break it to you that if someone does not love/like you/ want to be with you/committed to you before having sex with you, they're not going to change their mind afterwards either. Sex is very emotionally charged for women but I will say that men absolutely do not have the same relationship with sex. Sex is just sex to them.

I'm not trying to tell you how you should or shouldn't feel but it's highly likely that the "falling deeply in love" bit is just a consequence of having sex with someone. You form an energetic bond with someone when you're intimate with them, you're literally holding them INSIDE your body. All the endorphins will make it seem like you're in lOooOve and a lot of people struggle to leave toxic relationships because of sex. What I mean when I say that is not that the sex is euphoric or mind-blowing but that the act of being intimate with someone is so vulnerable and deep (for the lack of a better word??) and it's hard to just break things off and move on. Being in a relationship or having sex with the same person repeatedly means you physically become attached to them. When moms breastfeed their babies, it's hard to wean them off even if the baby no longer needs to rely on breast milk to survive. It's bc the baby is physically attached to the act of being held and nourished. And to quit that, is hard. Same applies to sex. It's not exactly "love" bc this man does absolutely nothing but hurt your feelings and that's not love. You're emotionally attached to him bc you've been naked and vulnerable with him.

That tinder thing is just sooo 🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢ewww DUMP THAT MAN NOW

Please don't be delusional about his interest in you because he is just using you for sex. I want you to understand that when someone actually genuinely likes you, their ex wife, dating apps, or even the oncoming apocalypse could not stop him. If he's not ready for you, he just doesn't want you enough. If you genuinely love someone, you'll work thru whatever tf you're going thru on your own to be with them. You'll never have to beg someone to treat you right 😮‍💨

Everything this guy says is just a lame excuse to keep you on the loop 😡😠 DUMP HIS OLD ASS AND find a lover boy who only has eyes for you 😍🧿💛💛💛💛DONT SETTLE for someone who isn't even giving you the bare minimum!!!!

[bobawitch]

Hey could you write something abt Nick and reader being best friends and like she gets heartbroken and Nick is js there for her bc their like bestie until the restie so ya‼️ but I love your writing and if you can’t write this or your uncomfortable with it I get it!! Thank you for your timeeee :))))

a/n: i hope this is what you were thinking of, i recently got dumped so this was rlly helpful

wc: 967

cw: none just platonic stuff

Nick had been one of your closest friends for years now, you had met once at a sale for urban outfitters when you were 18. He grabbed a shirt with excitement and noticed the price, scrunching up his face and shaking his head, throwing it back on the rack. You noticed and laughed, making a comment about the price and how a sale isn’t actually a sale. And that’s all it took, soon enough you were inseparable. You, Nick, and Madi were always hanging out, just as you were when you first met your boyfriend, Madi hyped you up to go talk to him but he beat you to it. You almost immediately caught feelings for the boy and Nick was there helping you pick your outfit for your first date. That was about a year and a half ago and even though your boyfriend was nice and caring you noticed that he had his flaws. Unfortunately for you, Nick noticed too. So currently you sat in bed staring at your phone, the words “Read 15 minutes ago” haunting your brain.

Your stomach twisted into pretzels trying not to let your worst nightmares cloud your mind. Soon the familiar bubbles popped up on your screen, you whipped up in bed, clutching your phone with your breath stuck in your throat. You watched as the 4 dreaded words came to your screen. “We need to talk.” Tears stung at the back of your eyes as you slowly began to type “Ok.” You watched the message send before your phone buzzed, a phone call you never wanted to answer popping up. Slowly you pressed the green accept button and held the phone to your ear. “We need to break up. We aren’t in the same place we used to be.” And que the water works. All the air you had held escaped you, seemingly gone forever. You didn’t respond, you just hung up. Quickly scrolling to Nick’s contact and pressing call. “Heyyyyyyy! I’m in the car with Chris and Ma-” Nick fell silent as he heard you desperate gasps for breath. “Y/N? Y/N what’s wrong? Hold on, we’re coming to pick you up. Matt, go to Y/N’s house now.” You knew you didn’t need to say anything to Nick. He had heard every fight between you and your boyfriend, knew every single time your boyfriend pissed you off and knew that if you were crying like this that there was something extra bad happening. 

Within 10 minutes Nick was in your apartment and Matt and Chris had gone to get you food, Nick’s orders. He walked into your room and sat on your bed, pulling you into a tight hug. You felt like you were in another world, like you were watching yourself cry into Nick. Honestly part of you was happy you weren’t totally in it because it felt a bit embarrassing to be this upset over someone else. Nick gently petting your hair as he let you cry into him. After a few sad songs and a good 20 minutes of crying you had stopped, sniffling and pressing the puffiness that had accumulated around your eyes. “He broke up with me…” You softly admitted and Nick’s face contorted. “Ew, what a fucking idiot.” You giggled a pained giggle before looking up at the boy. “Yeah I guess so.” He smiled at you and pulled out his phone. “You know what helps me when men decide to be stupid?” You shook your head as you watched Nick open tik tok. Quickly he pulled up an old video of Matt and handed you the phone. “You boyfriend broke up with you? Here’s what I’m going to say, you ready? His loss. It’s ok that you’re single, it’s ok that you don’t have a boyfriend.” You stifled a laugh before liking the video. Nick’s jaw dropped and you smirked over at him. “That person is going to post something about me liking that video, you know that right?” You laughed at Nick’s shock. “Yeah I know.” Nick laughed with his mouth still open before taking his phone back and turning it off. “Matt really spitting facts though, you know that?” You nodded silently, a smile still present on your face. You heard your doorbell ring and stood, walking to your door and opening it to see Matt and Chris holding your favorite milkshake and shitty burger. Chris was leaned against your door frame and Matt held the food out to you. He awkwardly smiled and nodded at you. Chris smiled at you and gave you a fist bump before Nick came over to shoo them off. You closed the door and stared at the food. “Your brothers are awesome, tell Matt I’ll venmo him.” You said as you brought the food to your living room table. “Nope, I paid for it. You don’t need to worry about that right now.” You stood and hugged Nick again, tears threatening to fall down your cheeks once more. “Nuh uh hoe, we just stopped crying, it's food time now.” You sniffled and nodded, stepping back to your food and immediately devouring it. Nick watched in awe before laughing again. “Gimme your phone.” He said, you complied without much thought. Honestly you were in concentration of your food, barely noticing Nick removing your ex from your social media and gallery. 

The day carried on, Nick pulling your focus away from anything that even resembled your new ex. The two of you now sat by your tv, the credits of Edawrd Scissorhands playing in the background. “Sooo now that I’m single, what’s Matt up to?” You were joking of course but seeing Nick whip his head around at you made you bust out laughing. He watched you die laughing before shaking his head. “I hate you bro.” “Love you too Nicky-poo!”

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Head canons

a/n: okay so i randomly had this idea and i'm aware most people wont be interested in the slightest but i just had to write it, for myself more than anything haha. So I was thinking about the character Lou within my Matty series "insufferable arsehole" and i was thinking about her relationship/friendships with the guys and decided to do some head canons for each of the boys... enjoy if you do read haha

Special thanks goes to @poisonmedaddy13 aka my wonderful support system on here :) thank you for helping me with this, for not shutting down my ideas and for having my back

Part 5 will be posted soon so keep your eyes peeled if you're interested :)

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE YET TO READ INSUFFERABLE ARSEHOLE BC SPOILERS!

You can read the series here

George:

George has been her best friend since diapers, they've gone through every aspect of their lives together, that fact alone means that they're bonded for life

They know every minute detail about each other

She thinks he probably knows her better than anyone

He's the one person in her life who has been a steady unwavering support

He's her rock, the person she knows she can go to for everything, for advice, for comfort for laughs, anything

they have to deal with lots of people assuming they're something more and it has got a bit tiring over the years but theyre kind of used to it by now

she knows he would jump in front of a train if it meant she lived

he would hurt anyone who hurts her and has come close to beating up ex's of hers that have been douches (and has punched a fair few of them)

she's the first he shares lyrics with or song concepts (even more matty sometimes)

they both felt that because they were so close, whatever one was feeling, the other felt too

not a day went by where they didnt talk, even when they weren't together, on opposite sides of the world, they would still talk

there was this one time: when they were around 16 maybe 17, g had organised this big surprise party for her birthday, it was absolutely amazing, he had managed to get a fuck ton of beer and weed from an older friend, his garden was full to the brim of all of their friends, some people she didnt know (not that it matter). but despite it being HER birthday party, he had invited matty who at some point in the night had said something about how the dress she was wearing would make all the guys think she was an easy fuck... she remembered how her best friend (a very drunk and high george) had laughed at mattys words... they didn't talk for weeks after that until one day her lanky friend appeared at her door, begging on his hands and knees to forgive him, saying how much of a prick he had been and how much he had missed her. somehow they grew closer after that, he would always have her back and she never questioned that.

they have their own handsake and george knows her disdain for something by one simple fact: she will crinkle her nose up at him, he'd do it back and then they'd laugh about it... it was their thing

she was practically his sister

nicknames they have for each other: G, Georgie (he doesn't like this too much), he calls her Lou ofc, also pumpkin (when she was sad or needed comfort),

Ross:

ross and lou grew close when they were kids, they were never as close as G and Lou (basically impossible to be) but there friendship was different

ross feels like the person she goes to when she doesn't even know she needs him

he's always there for her: always

he knows whats wrong before she does most of the time

they're relationship has the same vibe as ross x matty, that kind of intense platonic love

he's her cuddle bear, someone who gives amazing hugs, the kind that heal her

again she knew he'd die for her and she would for him

he was one of the best things that had ever happened to her, she know if she were to have kids he'd be the god father

she was his wingwoman most of the time, always trying to find a partner who was deserving of his love, someone who would love him the way he needed to be loved

he felt like her platonic soulmate, someone that made her soul happy

buttttt.... when they were younger they did used to flirt... like ALOT and people often thought they were together bc of this... they got drunk at a party once a shared quite a steamy kiss (they would take this to their graves btw) but over time it kind of just fizzled out and was replaced with this platonic love, he was enamored with her regardless

they were often childish with each other, he'd carry her around the empty stages on his back, so she began calling him "monkey man" not only bc he was freaking tall but because she clung to him like a monkey

nickanmes: lou would call him: monkeyman, macdonald, mr macdonald, he calls her: sweetcheeks, rockstar, cool kid, sweetheart

Adam:

now adam and lou aren't as close as lou x george and lou x ross but he's still one of her best friends

adam is the person she goes to if she needs an honest opinion, he is the The “tell it like it is” friend and she is so appreciative of that: often the other boys' opinions can be clouded by how much they love her, adam always had a fair mind about her

And tbh she was that for him too, he remembers when he confided in Lou about his worries about carly in his relationship (very early on in their relationship), he told her how he was worried carly would leave him becuase they could never have a 'normal' relationship, they'd always be on tour, swarmed with fans, fans who (despite their sweet intentions) would always want to know everything about their relationship, Lou all but smacked him round the head, telling him he was being ridiculous, that he'd never find another like carly, someone who was so loving and accepting of everyone she met, told him he might as well marry her and that his thoughts although valid, were just thoughts, and that the realistic state of things was that carly was going to love him regardless.

he is someone who watches on the sidelines, showering her with love and affection and his admiration in his own way, often by doing simple things like "i got you xyz thing because i remember you mentioned it"

he loves how she makes carly feel welcome, always the first to talk to her and ask how she is (carly and hann and agreed that they'd ask her to be godmother)

he's not often one to be cuddly with her but when he is it means so much more

they are the type of friends who dont have superficial conversations, their conversations are much more meaningful than that

he knows she'd do anything to protect him, carly and the baby that is on the way and is so thankful to her for that

she likes how in depth their conversations are, everyone knows hann as this guy that doesn't talk much but the two of them often talks for hours

he's one of those friends that tells these cracking jokes out of the blue that makes everyone die of laughter

nicknames: she ofc calls him Hann, she teasingly starts calling him daddy, he mainly calls her Lou tbh, sometimes calls her rockstar too

[the-widow-sisters]

I got this.

I know you’re tired of Nat and Yelena but HEAR ME OUT 😬🖐

I’m picturing for “jalapeño Gonzales” that a mouse has gotten loose in Nat and Yelena’s house. Nat finds out and is, in her own right, utterly disgusted and horrified. It’s worse though, bc she finds out her cheeky sister already KNEW and decided to not do anything (either for reaction purposes or laziness you decide💕) and now Nat has to figure out what to do with the creature and whether or not to throttle her sister while she’s at it 😂

Happy writing 😁💖✏️

A/N: Thank you so, so much for the request, girl! I feel like I'm a little out of practice at writing these two, but hopefully it was acceptable, lol 😅💞 I'm a little burnt out on the pair, but it was nice to write a little something for them for the first time in a while, so thank you for the opportunity 🥰

I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to send more requests from the list here!

Word Count: 1.2k+

   “What the—”

   Yelena instantly was on her feet from where she was in her room putting on her shoes, the somewhat panicked sound of Natasha’s voice rousing her and sending her instantly on edge.

   She rushed into the living room, not knowing what to expect.

   As soon as she came in, she realized that Natasha was sitting at the top of the couch, her body tensed and her eyes scanning the floor. Yelena approached behind her, stopping only when she was within a foot or two from her older sister.

   “What’s wrong?” Yelena asked, every inch of her stiffened and ready for action as she looked around the room. Fanny was in the room as well, sniffing at Natasha briefly as she looked around, trying to understand the source of Natasha’s distress.

   Natasha blinked, swallowing hard as she consciously made an effort to remain calm.

   “I’m sorry, there was a, umm,” Natasha trailed off, her voice much calmer now, but to Yelena’s well-trained ears, the slight hint of terror in her tone was easy to hear.

   “He just went over there,” Natasha explained to her, somewhat out of breath from the panic that had been coursing through her. Yelena looked in the direction that Natasha was pointing, and she quickly caught up with the entire situation, understanding what was going on far better at this point.

   She almost laughed, but she quickly contained herself.

   “Ooohhh… You have seen the mouse,” Yelena nodded, forcing a neutral facial expression. Natasha stared at her for a moment, silence resounding between them before she spoke up again.

   “The mouse?” Natasha accentuated the word, raising an eyebrow at the implication that the mouse was actually a more established part of the household and had apparently resided there for longer than simply just when she saw him.

   “Oh, yes, there’s a mouse in the house. I forgot to tell you,” Yelena offered her lame excuse. She was hoping that it sounded believable, however.

   Truthfully, Yelena had been neglecting to tell Natasha because she had been eager for her reaction. Mice were one of the very few things that actually put Natasha on edge. It was similar to Yelena’s bee phobia, but Natasha usually handled it better. The mouse must have really unsettled her this time.

   And honestly Yelena was getting far too much enjoyment out of this, but she could not let Natasha find out. Natasha did not need to know that Yelena had been purposefully hoping to get a scare out of her for all this time.

   “I named him Jalapeño Gonzales. He’s like Speedy Gonzales’s cousin,” Yelena explained, nonchalance written in her words, and Natasha just gaped at her.

   “He’s been around long enough to have a name?!” Natasha cried, and Yelena just looked in the direction that he had apparently left in.

   “Well, yeah. I mean… I see him pass by all the time when I’m playing my game over here on the TV,” Yelena shrugged breezily, and Natasha just stared at her incredulously from her current perch on the back of the couch.

   “Why would you sit there and watch him go by so many times without even trying to do something about it?!” Natasha finally demanded after getting herself together, and Yelena moved her hands helplessly.

   “Look, he is like part of the family now!” Yelena cried, still trying to hide the laughter at the fact that Natasha was so scared and completely freaked out about this. She was extremely close to failing at this point.

   “What is wrong with you?! Mice aren’t family! They’re pests that infect the house and eat holes in everything!” Natasha moved her hands, almost flailing as much as Yelena had been. Yelena felt the laugh entering her voice despite her best efforts.

   “Natashka, it is just a mouse,” Yelena tried to assure her, her voice cracking just a little as she barely managed to keep from hysterically cackling.

   “Well, yeah, but we just don’t need a scavenger in our house,” Natasha tried to write off her panic as simple concern about their home. Natasha casted a glance in the direction that the mouse had gone in, and she cautiously moved down from the couch, heading around the back of it as she approached Yelena.

   “I take it you aren’t a fan of Speedy’s cousin?” Yelena asked, just managing to keep it together.

   As soon as Natasha looked over at her, nothing but unimpressed, Yelena completely lost control of herself, laughs erupting from her.

   Natasha groaned, and Yelena simply laughed even more.

   “You want to elaborate and explain to me why you didn’t take care of him in the first place or am I safe in assuming that you just wanted to mess with me?” Natasha asked, and Yelena held her stomach.

   “Now, moya starshaya sestra, I would never want to mess with you,” Yelena tried to pretend to be innocent despite the fact that the act was quite obviously in vain given how she was laughing at her so unashamedly. Natasha let out a deep sigh, glaring at her somewhat tiredly.

   She then started toward the door, grabbing her purse, and Yelena just managed to get ahold of herself long enough to ask her where she was going.

   “Why are you leaving so fast?” Yelena questioned, far too pleased with herself as she grinned from ear to ear.

   “I’m going to get mouse traps,” Natasha explained, and she paused as she met eyes with the black cat lounging on the furniture.

   “You need to do your job better,” Natasha scolded Liho from where the cat was lying on the back of the armchair.

   Liho simply laid her ears back, her eyes half-lidded and unimpressed. She apparently did not appreciate Natasha’s tone and the fact that she was currently pointing at her.

   Natasha hung her purse on her shoulder, starting to get her keys to head out of the house, and Yelena rushed over.

   “Wait, wait, wait, hang on a second,” Yelena told her, moving over to touch her shoulder. Natasha stopped, meeting Yelena’s eyes with those exasperated light greens of her own.

   “Don’t you think you should see the cartoons first?”

   “What?” Natasha asked, simply staring at her as she remained completely lost and uncertain of what the blonde was talking about. Yelena let out a momentary huff before elaborating.

   “Y’know. So you know what not to do when trying to catch a Gonzales,” Yelena told her, and Natasha groaned with slight irritation as the realization of what Yelena meant settled in upon her.

   Yelena just laughed even harder.

   “Goodbye, Yelena. I’ll see you later,” Natasha expressed, starting to head out of the door, and Yelena shook her head as she grabbed her phone from the counter.

   “No, you aren’t getting rid of me that easily! You have to have your mouse expert,” Yelena told her as she started to head out the door behind her, giggles trailing after her as she followed the redhead and started to lock as well as shut the door behind them. Natasha turned back to glare at her halfheartedly.

   “Oh, yeah, I forgot. You were the one that just sat there and watched him the whole time so you should be an expert on him after all this time,” Natasha sarcastically replied, but there was not as much bite in her tone as the words would imply.

   Yelena just laughed even harder.

[cheemken]

Can you say more about Cynthia and Diantha in ur evil diantha au? I’m an absolute sucker for those two djakdhsh

Hi hey yeah have some low-key phaesporia stuff in the villain Dia au uwu

So y'know my lil concept that Diantha visited the champions one by one, or maybe let's say this is after that concept where Augustine and Cynthia visited the Carnet manor, leaving w such haste cause shit they're actually not ready to encounter Diantha just yet

And yeah, Cynthia stayed w Sycamore for a few weeks, for support and bc yeah she also wants to see Diantha again, she believes that Diantha really is in the right, but maybe there's still some semblance of humanity within Diantha that she and Augustine can bring out once more

So hey, yeah, next day, they tried venturing the manor again, this time no running away, if they see Diantha they're gonna battle her. Cynthia has Garchomp's PokeBall in her hand, as w Sycamore w Xerneas. The two decided to split up, thinking they'd cover more ground, Augustine went up to the attic, and Cynthia went to the basement.

There's that smell again, that rotten smell of burn flesh that she just couldn't stand. Her flashlight was gripped tightly, hands shaking, as her other hand tried to find a light switch for the basement, and lucky her, she did find it, unfortunately, the light kept flickering. But hey, summoning up her courage, she went further down, minding the dust and cobwebs that piled up.

Looking everywhere, Cynthia's breath caught in her throat as she saw glowing crystal blue eyes in the darkest part of the basement. Thinking it was a pokemon, Cynthia reached to get Garchomp's PokeBall, only for the lights to go out, and Cynthia suddenly being pinned to the wall, accidentally dropping her flashlight.

Those eyes were staring at her... It's Diantha. Smirking at her, one hand covering her mouth and the other gripping her neck tightly.

"my, my, I never thought I'd see you, Cynthia," She whispered with a giggle, "how exciting, Augustine's inviting friends over. Mother wouldn't have approved, but... I'm not like her now." And she's there telling Cynthia if she screams if she lets go, she'll kill her on the spot. Cynthia could only nod, her own voice caught in her throat as Diantha's there looking at her like she's prey. "Cynthia, darling, how about you head out now. I'll be with the two of you soon enough, don't want to keep my dearest Augustine waiting."

But also cjmdsk

Imagine Diantha just softly caressing Cynthia's face before she left, brushing her hair to the side, revealing her scarred left eye. And Diantha's so gentle, so soft, and she's there looking at Cynthia with such love and care and God Cynthia just melts in her touch, leaning in more. And Dia's smirk grew wider as Cynthia leans in more to her touch, obeying what she's telling her to do, convincing her to join her side would be easy now

After all, she could give her all she wanted, all that reassurance that she needed, and if Cynthia would betray her like the rest? Well... Diantha will grant her the mercy of seeing Cyrus again.

[your-bigender-big-brother]

can i ask for a bit of advice?

ive been struggling a bit recently with some general anxiety abt transitioning, not so much wrt the logistics of it (i actually have a good way of getting on it quickly via planned parenthood informed consent, and i'm planning on making an appt soon) but moreso i keep flipping back and forth between "i want to be on T yesterday" and "ok but what if i regret this majorly" and i'm not sure what to do. I've researched the effects of T in depth, I know basically all about my options and what changes to expect etc. but I still have anxiety about the possibility of regret.

It may very well just be anxiety about taking a big step towards change in my life, bc it does in some ways remind me of the anxious waffling i did when i cut my hair for the first time as a 15 year old (which i never rly went back on; i mean, there were a couple times i missed having long hair and tried to grow it out again, but i never managed to get it past shoulder length before chopping it off again) but i'm also worried that maybe my hesitation is a sign that i shouldn't go on T, or that I should wait longer. But then I also know that when that "I want to be on T yesterday" feeling comes back around, I'll again be thinking, "but I don't want to wait anymore!"

I only really started questioning my gender maybe 2 or 3 years ago, and my desire for testosterone has only really come up within the last year. I am 26, but part of me worries this is too small a time frame to really know that I want it. I've had things I considered a core part of my identity for much longer periods of time eventually change, so I feel like I can't know.

i guess what im asking is, how do i tell the difference between being scared because change is scary, and being scared because some part of me actually doesnt want this? Do you think my time frame for questioning is too small? Should I wait longer?

Hello anon!

There isn't really such thing as too small a time frame for deciding to transition. I've seen people completely transform in less than a year (Elliot Page, anyone?) That doesn't mean that anyone should just rush in and get started on hormoned and surgery right away, but it helps to know that you're not alone in how quickly you might make decisions.

You've done all the research and know what to expect. You have a game plan. I suggest talking to other trans people who were afraid of regret before going through with everything and find out how they feel now. It's likely that they don't feel any regret at all! Very, very few trans people end up regretting their transition decisions. Staying connected and staying informed is how we avoid that regret.

You might just be feeling anxiety toward taking such a huge step. I felt the same way before getting on T. But taking that step and getting the scary stuff out of the way will have you feeling much better on the other side of it.

- 💙💚

[sovonight]

phew ok it’s been a few weeks i can unpack my thoughts on xan dying to vampires now

bc i never romanced the vanilla love interests, i never knew that they all die to bodhi and need to be resurrected afterwards. so the thought process here finally makes sense to me: the vanilla love interests die, so to match, the modded love interest should probably die as well. but wait! xan can’t just die and get resurrected, he has the moonblade and it would prevent the whole resurrection thing, plus elven culture abhors the undead. so instead you get an ominous dream in bg1 foretelling that he’s going to die, and like 2-3 conversations where xan establishes that 1) he would never allow himself to be turned into a vampire thrall, he would literally rather die 2) he’s certain that his sword would not allow him to be turned into a vampire thrall, and that it would literally rather kill him. for once, their opinions are totally united. this leads one to question why xan accepted this mission in the first place when he specifically promised to quit--but i digress.

in the original ending, he dies and somehow (doesn’t matter how) rather than being trapped in the blade, xan ends up in arvandor. through dreams charname hears about how he reunited with his parents, how he burst into happy tears, etc etc. he’s gotten his dearest wish: to die! 

i. i mean i know this is supposed to like.. offset the loss? like hey at least he’s happy and is in heaven at last! you still even get to talk to him sometimes! but it just doesn’t sit right with me that--this is good?? that this absolutely needed to happen?

like: why is he right? why is he always right? he says his and charname’s love is doomed; that he will die; that he will die before her; that it will happen soon, in bg2. and he is right, he dies. but always making him right was the author’s choice.

it was established in bg1 that the author’s xan has the gift of premonition--well, that he used to have visions as a child, and now all he has is Bad Feelings About Things. premonition is kind of an op thing to give a companion, but i do like the way it’s handled in bg1: it gives him more to talk about than just reacting to things as they happen, and bc of xan’s disposition, his actual fourth-wall-breaking spoiler-y guesses are naturally camouflaged within his standard “we’re all doomed” talk. he says idly that he “has a premonition that some barbarian axe-wielder will chop [his] head off in the next battle,” and it’s merely a joke, but he is always right--or nearly right--about the games’ plot, and his place in it, and his place in the bg2 mod’s plot.

and i hate this. xan is a character who you just want to prove wrong--you want to take him by the shoulders and say, repeat after me, there is hope and life is worth living. by bg2, he begins tentatively to believe this. but then in the one part of the plot that is entirely decided by his author, where it is decided that he must die to bodhi, all control is taken from the player just to prove his last, deadly premonition right.

you can’t dismiss xan temporarily to deal with bodhi and then recruit him again, because xan insists on staying at charname’s side so badly that if you do push him to leave, the bond breaks and the romance ends. the writing corners you in: you will keep him, and you will watch him die. it’s exactly the kind of vaguely malevolent writing that permeates bg2 as a whole, so yes, in that sense, the writing here fits in perfectly! but what i don’t like is how it ends up completely validating the worldview xan has held since day 1: out of all the other romances, this hopeless end is singularly unavoidable and inevitable for them.

and honestly, that doesn’t even scratch the surface of how bad it is. in the friendship path, and only in the friendship path, in bg1, xan says:

I do not know what comes over me sometimes. It's hard to describe. Imagine a feeling of burning shame, mingled with grief and absolute astonishment why your heart is still beating - and overwhelming guilt that because of you, people have died before and will die after.

this is clear all throughout his romance, too, even if he never says it (which also hurts--why is a romanced charname the last person he can confess this to?). and with this in mind, his ending--his original, “ha ha, gotcha, he’s doomed after all” ending--addresses this guilt by having him die?! his ending doesn’t just punish the player, it does his character development a disservice in the same blow.

now you may say, sovo, that was the original end, you get to save him now, what are you complaining about? and oh, i still have plenty to complain about. i’m complaining about the convoluted band-aid.

to save him, you get two opportunities. one is wedged into the conversation xan starts about bodhi, where he says he’s certain that he’ll die bc his sword will kill him before bodhi can turn him, and charname is given an option to say “are you sure there isn’t anything i can do??” to which xan goes “oh there is actually”. he says that if charname really wants, she can offer to take part of the blow for him so that she might help him survive--and he hasn’t mentioned this until now bc his life isn’t worth the chance that charname might temporarily feel pain, i guess. when charname does accept, xan is genuinely surprised and touched that she loves him enough to want him not to die, and at this point i am holding the edge of my desk in a white-knuckled grip going i thought we were past this, when is he going to believe, i’m fucking dying out here. anyway, it’s clumsy, i think it’s obvious why i dislike this.

the other opportunity is a player-initiated dialogue that goes, “Your moonblade may kill you if it deems your actions unjust, but you are just following my orders.” this can be selected any time before the bodhi convo above, so it’s vaguer about the specific circumstance xan might die in. xan ends up saying that yes, the moonblade may strike him down, but charname can offer take part of the blow. xan guides charname in forming a connection with the moonblade, and notably, the description here is far more fleshed out than it was in the bodhi convo. but here’s why i still hate this option: it’s so out of the way. i’m sorry, but his death is a major fork in the romance, why is this not a scripted conversation in its own right?

yes, the answer is it’s not a scripted conversation because then it would disrupt the rhythm of his other scripted conversations in the original version of the story. but then tell me: why was it not in the original? isn’t this a relevant thing to talk about? it could explain why xan’s still on a greycloak mission even after quitting the greycloaks: xan is worried that charname is tilting the scales of the moonblade, so he redoubles his efforts to keep the balance any way he can. making charname aware of this would introduce a relevant source of drama, something for them to talk about, to work on together. but no: instead, we get like 2-3 conversations about xan being sad that he’s older than charname so even if he lives long he will die before her. and i’m like??? sir, you’ve been saying this whole time that your lifeblood spills before hers, you have long been resigned to this, now talk about the blade that is going to kill you.

now, i realize the author can’t see the future like xan can. i get it. how could you expect to retcon the story to give bonded xan a happy ending even though he should never have been given the sad ending to begin with? but i’m still disappointed. like--where is the relationship development? when are they going to communicate with each other? when is xan going to let charname shoulder some of his concerns, too? i would give their lack of communication a pass if this were solely charname’s story, like bg1 was, but since the bg2 mod can kill him, i need them to talk! and enough of this “i will bear it silently” stuff from xan, charname needs to talk it out of him. in the celebratory scene after xan survives bodhi, he admits that he's been giving charname pieces of his life essence to sustain her while she’s without her soul, and that it’s totally fine because he thought he was going to die anyway. like, hello?? i need the self-sacrifice to stop! stop encouraging him! stop making him right! grind the story to a halt, right now--shake some sense into him! let charname tell him that he does not have to destroy himself as compensation for receiving her love!