#and i have nothing to blame it on either
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I had the time of my life
Fighting dragons
With you
Nobody ask me why I did this (because I have no fucking idea either)
#joe biden#kamala harris#vote kamala#kamala 2024#vote harris#harris walz 2024#president biden#biden harris#swifties for harris#taylor swift#long live#can I blame crying on pregnancy hormones even though I don't have a uterus?#dnc 2024#dnc#joe biden dnc#i seriously have no fucking clue why his speech made me start crying#and i have nothing to blame it on either#this is stupid
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What does Timmy think of his little brother Peri growing up to have a neurotic personality?
Peri's always had severe anxiety. It sorta comes with being the first baby born in a 1000 years and constantly being kidnapped by everyone around you.
Timmy's just glad Peri grew up to be more confident in himself, and more assertive.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#fop peri#peri#asks#itty bitties fop au#timmy does blame jorgen for a majority of peri's current stresses though#he saw peri after the license exams and went 'we lost another good one :('#jorgen: i made a new fairy godparent!#timmy: you fucked up a perfctly good fairy is what you did!!! look at him!!! he has anxiety!!#this is a very condensed shorthand summary but like. thats the jist of it#if i wanna i could do a whole breakdown on why peri is the way he is and how timmy feels about it and whether he blames himself for it buuu#tl;dr peri and timmy did not have normal childhoods because theres nothing normal about either of their circumstances#so they grew up as well adjusted as one could be when having a non-normal childhood that literally nobody can ever relate to or understand#except with each other#they are not as well adjusted adults as they would or should be. but!!!!! thase just life!!!!
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I told a friend to keep an eye on their banks/cards because people are getting caught up in that recent data breach, and their response was,
“This is all capitalism’s fault.”
And I … err … is it??
#like by all means#blame capitalism for evils it has actually perpetrated#but we don’t have real capitalism rn#we have a corporatocracy#and also I don’t think either thing is responsible#for some dipshit putting all my private info on the web#that has nothing to do with the free market#people just suck#also the fucking chode who stole my card#and tried to buy 5 pizzas and an airline ticket#was probably not motivated by capitalistic ideals???
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#Taylor Swift#Don’t Blame Me#Reputation#The Eras Tour#Reputation Era#Reputation Stadium Tour#Rep TV#Taylor Nation#Swifties#Miami TS The Eras Tour#Miami Night 1#Getty images#take us to church mother#when she hits the high note#you look like Taylor Swift in this light we’re loving it#I think I’ve seen this film before#I will never change. But I’ll never stay the same either.#Your on your own kid. Yeah you can face this. Your on your own kid. You always have been.#Say you’ll remember me standing in a nice dress.#I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.#Flashback when you met me.#There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen I had a marvelous time ruining everything.#I can feel the flames on my skin. Crimson red paint on my lips.#So they filled my cell with snakes I regret to say Do you believe me now? I was onto something they all said nothing.#And in the death of her Reputation she felt truly alive.#Who’s afraid of little old me? You should be.#I said remember this moment in the back of my mind the time we stood with our shaking hands the crowds in stands went wild.#I was screaming long live all the magic we made and bring on all the pretenders I’m not afraid. One day we will be remembered.#I said remember this feeling I passed the pictures around of all the years we stood there on the sidelines wishing for right now.#What if I told you I’m the Mastermind?
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btw. rambling.
with how it ends with peri doing a meta comment hoping they'll get a season 2. i think it's safe to assume the writers want a season 2. and with that in mind, it makes what happened with Dev something more similar to sequel bait than actual end of his character. i mean Peri's introduction was even through Dev, without him he'd be just. there. which would be a shame just in terms of writing. especially when the writer also clearly likes Peri since our man is the one having the final line of the season. in the same way I'm pretty sure the writers care a lot about Dev too, I mean, even in this finale at his darkest hour you had constant reminders of how he's just. desperate for his father's attention. So yeah.
Dev not remembering is likely not his intended final ending, just the logical one for this finale that also pushes you to want to see more. Hazel's friends and brother remembering is an opening for new situations in a second season (Hazel may get pushed to make wishes by them, even if sometimes involuntarily; Hazel may make more wishes directly involving them, allowing for newer stories that couldn't be carried by just Hazel Cosmo and Wanda); Dev forgetting is the bait to make you want a second season
#fop#also of course you know that if there's a second season peri will have to be brought back#because the execs definitely noticed how popular he got and they won't let that juicy part of the meat go#of course if it doesn't get renewed that finale will be disappointing for dev#but im ok with it because. well. you should blame nickelodeon for not picking up the show for a second season.#i always have a lot of empathy for show writersp#the state of things where you sign for one season at a time without knowing if you'll get a next one or not must be so stressful#your season needd to be both fulfilling on its own yet still not solve everything or else you'll hve a season 2 with nothing to say#and i think ending your season 1 in a way that is mostly satisfactory while still having a hook is a good way to do it#because either you'll get picked for a second season either you're bringing light to that issue#anyway ramble over#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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Reasons Nie Mingjue tries to kill Jin Guangyao:
JGY saved his life (while being unable to do the same for others)
He didn't think working as a spy to win the war would actually include having to do bad things (unlike the killings NMJ performs which are always 100% justified because NMJ is 100% moral and has the right to make that call)
JGY won't kill himself
JGY won't perform extrajudicial murder of his shidi, favored by his father (which would also get him killed)
JGY won't die
JGY talked back to him and won't just completely agree with his assessment (that JGY should just die)
It's the only way for them to have peace (says the guy who suffers from extensive murderous rages and came back as a corpse to continue killing people against the guy who oversaw the biggest public safety project and expansion we know of and kept the peace for over a decade)
JGY tells their mutual friend/sworn brother that he's concerned about NMJ suffering from said extensive murderous rages
JGY bought nice things for NHS
Reasons Jin Guangyao tries to kill Nie Mingjue
Doesn't want to be killed by Nie Mingjue who keeps trying to kill him
#nie critical#nmj critical#“nmj was right about jgy the whole time” no jgy just got tired of all the attempts on his life. self-fulfilling prophecy. nmj is dangerous#and suffering from some pretty clear violent delusional tendencies he refuses to actually treat that are actively killing him#like nmj is dying anyway by his own actions it's just jgy doesn't want nmj to take him down with him#i mean it'd be a fair assumption tbh that if nmj was in his “right mind” whatever that means#he wouldn't want that either#most people would probably want to avoid killing their loved ones in fits of rage actually#i mean he doesn't put down the saber but you get the impression that while he's in the throes of it he doesn't think it's that bad#he gets mad at jgy for suggesting it's that bad like ten seconds before he tries to kill huaisang and dies#nmj is a very unreliable narrator on his own mental state sorry#it actually is quite tragic what happens to nmj but jgy has nothing to do with it he's just trying to live and he doesn't want to kill nmj#and nmj could have saved himself but he won't. he refuses. that's on him.#and sidenote but i think that's part of the reason nhs pursues vengeance against jgy so vociferously#because if he can focus all that blame obsessively on jgy then he doesn't have to think about how it was really nmj's choice the whole time
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You’d think that, between Gideon and Kremy, Gideon would be the easier one to get a read on (in terms of feelings towards certain situations and party members), but no. I can read Kremy like a motherfucking book. The way he spins lies and half-truths like a spiderweb; the way his tone will shift subtly depending on who he’s talking to, what they’re talking about, his feelings on the situation/subject/towards the person, etc; all of it. Kremy is so fucking easy to read for someone who’s supposed to be a silver-tongued conman.
But Gideon? His tone doesn’t shift all that much. He generally has a happy, confused, or entertained tone in his voice, with the exception of when he’s angry, frustrated, or upset.
Idk, maybe it’s harder for me to read Gideon because I listen to the podcast (it’s just easier for me since I can listen while driving or working), so I have to rely on tone shifts and other verbal cues. That, or maybe it’s because all of my past blorbos have been emotionally constipated men, who would only express their actual feelings about a situation based on tonal shifts, body language, and reading into what they’re saying.
#I swear all my irl points were dumped into insight and absolutely nothing else#and with emotionally constipated men I roll with advantage#no but seriously it’s so hard for me to get a read on how Gideon feels about Coalecroux situations#like the wedding or the scene during the opera#I’m not counting the love curse because fae magic and all that#I can tell when he understands that Kremy is upset or uncomfortable about something#but I can’t tell how he generally feels about him aside from being his best friend#maybe its more obvious with visuals???#I mean I will rewatch the series eventually on YouTube once I’m all caught up#but rn I have to rely on verbal cues and by god that’s hard for this genasi#also I’m not hating on either Richie or Mace here#I love being able to read my favorite emotionally constipated alligator#and the lack of tonal shift in Gideon makes sense for his character#it’s just weird to me idk#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#also if this is worded weirdly blame it on the fact that it’s currently 2am
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ever think about the fact that nishiki largely spiraled the way he did because of being considered incompetent and unfavorable in comparison to kiryu by everyone important in his life, and thus was constantly neglected and forgotten about. and then think about how the bomb would never have had to go off if kiryu and/or yumi just paid literally any attention to him after the showdown. talked to him. helped him to his feet. kept an eye on him. anything. instead of more or less forgetting he was there and allowing him the opportunity to do what he did. do you ever think about that. i sure do
#there is. no conversation between kiryu and nishiki after they fight. at all.#which is. well#I don’t blame nishiki too much for going jokermode there because uh. yeah. ouch#all of this was supposed to be about him. the showdown was supposed to be about him and kiryu#and kiryu just ignored him and talked to yumi instead like he wasn’t even there- let alone the focal point for All Of This#anyway yeah having them not fucking talk to each other there and focusing on the pointless and Bad attempt at a love story was just#flat out bad writing#because it’s not in character at fucking All for kiryu both due to who he is as a person and- more importantly- the relationship they built#beteeen him and nishiki in y0. like. how fucking close they were. like yumi had literally nothing to do with anything here#they were literally basically codependent and hadn’t lived their lives apart ever for the most part up until the sentencing#and they just sorta. gloss over that. in favor of yumi. who we know nothing about and have no development with and no dynamic in place with#her and either of them or anything#it’s#anyway#I need to stop bsnchdjmfd#nishiki#yakuza kiwami#yakuza kiwami spoilers#akira nishikiyama#rgg#yakuza#rambling
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gotta say that if bram stoker is trying to convince me that Renfield isn't actually future Johnathan from another timeline, then he isn't doing a very good job at it
#dracula daily#dracula#i'm joking i promise........ mostly#look the timeloop talk is getting to me; can you blame me for illogical brain wondering if time shenanigans are involved lmaoooo#obviously the mention of the guy's strength earlier makes you think of how dracula is described at the start#but it obviously can't be dracula himself#so it's either another random vampire OR............ *conspiracy voice* johnathan who got turned into a vampire in another timeline.....#HE WRITES IN A NOTEBOOK. THAT'S NOT A VERY UNUSUAL HOBBY OBVIOUSLY BUT#IT STANDS OUT WHEN OUR MC HAS BEEN DOING NOTHING BUT WRITING IN A NOTEBOOK/JOURNAL/DIARY THIS WHOLE TIME!!!#and just cutting back to some Mysterious Guy in general while we don't know Johnathan's fate........ yeah#a guy who is in an asylum which happens to be right next to the place johnathan had picked out for dracula#obviously no one would be expecting to find time travel/universe travel in their gothic literature lmao#so this is not a serious theory anyone would seriously have#but on the other hand...... we already have a freaking cowboy. this book is already wild enough. WHY NOT
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'"Alice was perceived to be a destructive influence on every aspect of Edward III’s kingship, but specifically on his abilities as a military leader resulting in the subsequent collapse of the war in France." [In the Bridlington Prophecies, Erghome] speaks of a woman through whose love and counsel the king was impeded from waging many fair wars at that time. She has made the king effeminate. He no longer has a taste for war but remains at home indulging in luxury.'
(Laura Tompkins)
nothing but respect for MY fourteenth-century antiwar activist <3
#Alice: 'Why spend money on war when you can spend it on ME?#And she was absolutely right#alice perrers#14th century#my post#edward iii#hundred years war#queue#To be clear these accusations were obviously exaggerations - we don't know what Alice thought of the war (it's possible she did#genuinely think it was pointless and going nowhere) but either way I think we can all agree there was a variety of other circumstances#that resulted in the collapse of the war in France which Alice obviously had nothing to do with#such as ACTUAL MILITARY DEFEATS; the economic conditions of the country; and Edward III's own declining health; etc#there's no need to blame her for everything#ALSO extremely funny that if we flash-forward 100 years we find (vaguely) similar energy in another historical figure with a sun motif#Edward IV: indulge in luxury charm people into giving you their money and scandalize the kingdom throughout it all. got it 👍🏻☀️#(he was channelling the Alice Perrers Philosophy. To me)#(or maybe I just have a type)
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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(not quite logging back in just venting dont mind me <3 ill reply to everyone later mwah)
#i guess the worst thing about allllllll the times my mother tells me im crazy is that i know she's right lol#like the instant overwhelming need to sh whenever she says it or in fact every time we fight should be enough to confirm it 🤡#like i legit wont calm down until i physically hurt myself preferably also drawing blood. this is not Sane Person Behaviour#anyway whatsapp just spent a few minutes crying curled up on the floor in the kitchen pulling my own hair trying to ✨Not SH✨#because its stupid idiot motherfucking summer and everyone will See#and ended up doing it regardless lol#and its so funny cause like literally the moment i do it im perfectly fine and mentally and emotionally stable again 🥰😇#anyway i love my mom she's great but she did ruin my entire life and me as a person too#and basically all my adult problems can be easily traced back to my psychological nightmare of a childhood#except i cant blame her for that either because she didnt have it easy and she raised me on her own (and unmedicated too)#while my dad didnt really even get many occasions to ruin me on a fundamental level (like he sure did use those few chances he had but yknow#not nearly as many as my mom got)#so i cant just blame my mom and let feminism lose like that#anyway. she should never have had children and i there's nothing i regret more than her husband dying instead of me#ok logging back off byeeeeeeeeee
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i had another devastating thought about the nature of matches and murphys relationship - specifically what i means to raise a child when you know nothing about their parent.
like he doesnt actually know matches?? he has no stories to tell, no memories to share, he doesn't even know if she was allergic to anything or what her favourite colour was. kirby's going to ask about her mum one day and murphy will have nothing but the smell of smoke and blood, and regret like a hand around his throat.
"She stood for what she believed in. She was stubborn and fierce and never let anything keep her down for too long."
god he'd be sitting in his living room with this random fucking kid, haunted by two ghosts - bc Ronnie would've known what to do, and Matches never should have died. and they're both dead because of him.
"She loved you."
#more from the vault (mine and ghosts dm's)#so for anyone new here bc im terrible about actually posting things#ronnie is one of murphy's childhood best friends. he; pj and ronnie all grew up together#ronnie wanted to be a teacher. he left the vigilantism to pj and murphy and he spent his spare time giving lessons to the street kids#and tutoring their classmates#that how he knew matches - bc he was helping her pass two of her classes#ronnie died completely by accident. there was nothing either pj or murphy could have done but murphy still blames himself#and matches was only involved in the fight that killed her bc murphy needed her expertise#so eventhough shes a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions he blames himself for her death too#AND THEY BOTH HAUNT HIM#i love murphy he's my favourite#hes so pretty and competent and clever and weird. i HAD to fuck him up a bit#so he falls in love with unattainable people bc its safer than being genuinely vulnerable#and he lives with guilt around his neck like a noose#<3#murphy carraway#matchstick (crime lord)
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need a private tumblr to be an outlet for feelings had while activisming
#look. i know how to do things effectively i'm telling ya#but it's gonna take a whole bunch of ranting to get there first#and something inherent about activism that's actually effective is taking on care for other people's emotions#who are doubtless in much worse situations than me! but at the same time i have feelings and traumas that get triggered#and i have things i need to process and sort through in order to do my imperfect best. when you're in desperation you want more and i can't#blame you for that. but harm reduction also involves optimisation in a sense of how much harm i can personally reduce#and exposure to some things actually REDUCES that and i need to have somewhere to hold space for my emotions processing it#so i either decide fuck it and just post it here and know people are gonna get hurt from the insensitivity and there's no use explaining#unfortunately i have a suicidal ideation trigger at someone being in need and not being able to help them. maybe i can post about that?#somewhere in the limbo of this is not 'okay' per se but the best i can do is better than nothing. we all come together to stand up#against oppressors and shit. but there's emergency aid needed and it really does make me want to die very very quickly#which obviously i cannot get a job and actually help if I do. as in more than unemployment levels of generosity help#and while i can rattle on and on a bit about how our need for aid has the markings of capitalism (need for constant growth/supply)#it's not the fault of people trapped in that who don't have any other way out#sometimes i need to step back and find ways I CAN simplify my life in community to have more to be able to give when needed#because i can't do that for other people but i can for myself#and then i sound self righteous for doing it so i can be generous? so i can not feel helpless and want to die? there's no winning#i am the person who sees someone complain and thinks i immediately need to fix it for them. there's a good chance i will always be#and then i won't realise it but the empathy is the thing that's keeping me depressed and frozen but keeping me alive as well#and honestly i've lived like that for years. i don't have anything but my sometimes pitiful activism to like. enjoy life or whatever#and i do what i always do. one step in front of the other. pray for provision. choose between therapy and donation why am i so caught#up in that? problem solve. what are the needs and what are the other ways of solving them? share it to facebook? i don't know#i'll get there but i really need a job and i need to get a bit better so i can work. that day is gonna come it's just. the meantime sucks
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