#and i hate the research part i just wanna skip to when im around a bunch of owls

[demadogs]

if any of you are also wildlife documentary nerds do you have any good recs that focus on rehabilitation

[the-l-spacer]

Summary: In which Madeleine's latest attempt to hash things out with Espresso gets a little... out of hand.

This is my first cookie run fic i. genuinely can’t believe im writing for this game now. Anyways, hope ya like it!!

- 

He sees the knight striding towards him, spotless armour clinking smartly with each step he takes, cloak billowing ever-so-slightly behind him.

His lip curls, practically a reflex.

“Espresso. Do you have a moment?” Madeleine's voice, like his appearance, is meticulously crafted to capture the attention of anyone in his vicinity. A deep, resonant baritone that carries authority, brooks no room for disagreement, least of all disagreement from a particular surly practitioner of Coffee Magic.

Or at least, that’s what Madeleine likes to think. For all his chivalrous acts and airs seem to have no effect on Espresso in the slightest, who simply sighs and rolls his dark, bespectacled eyes.

“Do me a favour; skip the pretence that participation in this conversation is optional, and get to the point. I have research that needs attending to.”

Perhaps a few months ago, Espresso’s brusque reply would have stopped Madeleine in his tracks, wiped the genial smile off his face. But as it is, they’ve spent far too much time together (unwillingly, on Espresso’s part) for the other to be fazed by mere unfriendliness. So he simply barrels on as if Espresso had never spoken. “It appears as if that young band of cookies are keen on having us join their party.”

As one, they glance over to the campsite a little ways away, where Gingerbrave and Chilli Pepper are engaged in a mock-swordfight, wielding pieces of gathered firewood, with Wizard, Strawberry and Custard cheering on. Gingerbrave rushes forward, ‘sword’ held aloft, but Chilli Pepper sidesteps his attack, and before his momentum can carry him too far, grabs the scruff of his collar, and turns him to face her. “Sloppy work, kid. I could catch that coming from a mile away. Next time, try-” She pauses mid sentence, noticing Espresso and Madeleine’s gazes. She winks, and gives a two-fingered salute. “Hey! Wanna watch me spar with a buncha kids? There’s plenty of room on that log over there, but just a little warning, I charge adult spectators.”

Madeleine waves a hand. “No need to relieve our pockets just yet, friend Chilli Pepper. Espresso and I are perfectly content watching from afar.”

“And besides, we have better things to do,” Espresso adds, “Like being corralled by a paladin into having pointless conversations.” The last bit, he aims at Madeleine, who’s response is to grin wider.

If the irony in Espresso’s statement registers to Chilli Pepper, she doesn’t show it, and simply shrugs. “Don’t let me interrupt. You boys might wanna head a little further away to have that ‘pointless conversation’ though, it’s probably gonna get noisy up in this joint.”

“An excellent idea! My humblest thanks!” Madeleine sweeps into an exaggerated bow, and takes Espresso by the elbow. “My compatriot and I shall head a little further into the woods for our chat.”

Custard perks up at that, and shouts, “Be careful! There might still be cake monsters running around, and as king, I can’t let my subjects be hurt!”

“Not to worry, we’re more than capable of defending ourselves. If our previous encounters with those beasts suggested anything...”

As Madeleine talks, Espresso discretely tries to wriggle free from the hand on his elbow, but his attempts prove futile, Madeleine’s grip is loose but firm, forming a little cage around his arm.

He lets his arm go limp, and when the grasp loosens slightly in response, he flicks his free hand, around which (unbeknownst to the jabbering knight) shadows had been gathering for quite some time.

A tendril of magic whips around and strikes Madeleine’s wrist.

“-And as Knight of the Madeleine House, I was trained since I was but a little cookie, much like your merry band, to- ah!” When the tendril connects with a small thwack, he releases Espresso, jerking away as if burned (in actuality, the magic was really just a moderately heated slap. Espresso didn’t want to do any serious damage to Madeleine, after all.)

The seemingly permanent smile on the knight’s face falters, just for a second, and Espresso allows himself a moment of schadenfreude.

“Is... is everything okay, Madeleine?” Strawberry pipes up from her spot on the log.

“Quite alright, quite alright.” The ten-carat smile is back in full force, and once again, he waves his (non-injured) hand airily, though Espresso notes with some satisfaction the displeased side glance Madeleine shoots at him.

Espresso’s face pulls into a smile of his own, falsely sweet. “Well. Shall we be off, then?” He begins walking into the woods. True, he would much rather be tucked away in some quiet corner, poring over magical scrolls, but if he has to be subjected to this... chat, at least he can try to have some fun while doing so. Make Madeleine regret initiating contact, make him trail behind for once.

And sure enough, Madeleine follows after him, making long strides to catch up.

As they retreat into the forest, Gingerbrave shouts, “Come back in time for dinner! We’re having sweet jelly stew!”

“We’ll be there,” Madeleine replies, not needing to raise his voice for it to carry across the clearing where they had set up camp.

The other cookies give their final waves, and return to sparring, the sounds of cheering and wood striking wood fading the deeper in Espresso and Madeleine travel.

- 

Eventually, the noises from the campsite fade entirely, replaced by the chirping of birds, and the soft rustling of trees. The last of the day’s light dapples through the jelly forest’s leaves, and Espresso might have called the whole scene pleasant, if not for the cookie next to him.

They come to a stop in a forest clearing. “Is this far enough for your liking, oh Knight-Commander of House Madeleine?”

Madeleine leans against a tree, the light glinting off his armour. “You know, the attitude really isn’t necessary, and neither,” he cocks his head, glossy hair spilling over one shoulder, his reprimanding smile akin to a teacher lecturing a particularly irritating student, “was the use of dark magic back there.”

Espresso smirks. “Ah. Have I discovered your weakness? Is the pride of House Madeleine scared of a little magic? I just meant for it to tickle, really.”

A scowl begins to form on Madeleine’s face, before he schools it back into careful neutrality. “You must be intelligent enough to grasp my meaning. It’s not the act itself, it’s the…” He gestures loosely in the air, his right hand still slightly red, “... the spirit of it all. Cookies who fight together shouldn’t turn on one another. It simply isn’t right.”

“Mmm. Mm hmm. Of course it isn’t.” Espresso, in a bid to minimize the dirt from the forest floor getting on his robes, opts to hover just a little above the ground, and Madeleine has to crane his neck to meet his gaze. “And I’m sure wrestling the cookie you’re supposed to be fighting with into the woods is so much more excusable.”

Madeleine bristles. “You wouldn’t have agreed to this conversation otherwise, as you’ve made so abundantly clear in the past. All I did was ensure you wouldn’t be able to weasel your way out of the inevitable yet another time.”

“What about our current situation makes you think this conversation is inevitable?” Espresso snaps. “I’ve told you time and time again I don’t care for your company. Our paths crossed once, we travelled together briefly to achieve our own goals, and parted ways. We work together acceptably, and we tolerate each other, barely. What more is there to be said between us?”

“Well, for one,” Madeleine says, standing just a bit straighter, as if to deliver a set of prepared lines, “I was telling you, before we were interrupted, that Gingerbrave and his fellows seem eager to have us as travelers alongside them.”

“Yes. And?”

“And I’m sure you are as keen as I am on accepting their offer.”

Espresso stiffens. He hates cookies who presume things about him, and more than that, he hates when those presumptions are right. After a moment, he bites out, “Even if I was, what of it.”

“We’ll be traveling together once again. Serving as their protectors, and all that.”

“So what? As I said, we’ve travelled in each other’s companies before.”

“Yes, but I believe this will be our longest journey yet. They seek answers, a way to defeat the evil forces rising, and this is no easy feat.”

“I seek no such thing,” Espresso scoffs, folding his arms. “I only know that they’re searching for the Forgotten Academy, and that particular locality has a library I’ve been meaning to peruse for a while. I plan to travel with them until that point, where we will then part ways.”

“Even then, according to my maps the Forgotten Academy is weeks away. Maybe a month. Months, if we keep up our current pace. A considerable amount of time that allows for sour dough to spoil further. I simply think it… unwise, to allow things between us two to reach such a point.” Having finally said his piece, Madeleine pushes himself off the roll cake trunk, and starts towards Espresso, open palm outstretched.

No, not again. They had done this dance before, and Espresso isn’t planning to retrace those steps. He whizzes backward, out of Madeleine’s reach.

“I’m not interested in becoming friends, knight,” he spits. “And I tire of your constant overtures.”

Madeleine’s hand returns to his side in an impatient motion. “Must you insist on being this- this difficult?” He asks, voice fraught with frustration. “It is a simple offer. Put our differences aside and work together amicably, if only to to make our journey more tolerable for us and our companions.”

“Ahhh but there’s the rub, Madeleine,” Espresso retorts, “I’m afraid our differences are too great to reconcile. If that is all you have for me, I think I’ll be returning to camp. I would say it’s been a pleasure, but… you know better.”

He makes to leave, floating quickly away to leave the knight behind, but catches a blur of movement from the corner of his eye. Before he can react, Madeline moves forward, his armour and shield glowing. With a flash, the shield comes down on the edge of Espresso’s long, dark cloak, pinning it to the forest floor.

Both of them hear the telltale sound of ripping fabric.

“Don’t move.” Madeleine warns.

Espresso’s vision goes red. He gathers the shadows to him, wreathing his clenched fists in black swirls of magic.

He doesn’t move.

A pause, then the shield lifts.

Espresso doesn’t wait to rush backward, heading straight for Madeleine. This time, it’s the knight that finds himself unprepared, as Espresso grabs him, and with the help of his magic, lifts him in the air, slamming him against the trunk of the nearest tree.

“Don’t. Touch. Me,” he growls.

Their faces are close enough now that Espresso sees the tiniest twitch of fear in Madeleine’s expression. He doesn’t yield, keeping him pinned to the trunk.

Madeleine speaks, holding both hands up in a conciliatory gesture. “Now, now, I admit I was rather hasty, but there really is no need for-“

“- doesn’t feel nice, does it? Being trapped against your will?” Espresso cuts him off.

“Listen. I’m sorry things had to come to that point.”

Espresso sneers. Just as he predicted, Madeleine’s ‘apology’ is anything but. His mouth forms the syllables, but like a pedestrian one accidentally jostles on the street, his ‘sorry’ is merely a formality, said to hear the sound of his own voice.

Espresso doesn’t buy it, is what he’s saying.

“Save it. Save your pithy little apologies and insincere attempts at friendship for some other cookie.”

Madeleine’s face twists in indignation. “I’m not being insincere!”

Espresso drops him unceremoniously, the knight’s armour clattering when he lands on the soft earth. He tries not to betray his own fatigue, both in mind and body. Madeleine is heavy after all, weighed down further by his armour and weapons, making the act of holding him aloft (even aided by magic) one that had taken a not-insignificant toll on him. His feet touch down lightly on the ground, the glowing aura around him fades.

“Oh, spare me,” Espresso says coldly. “Every action, every toss of your hair or flick of your cloak, every word that comes out of your mouth betrays your insincerity.”

Having gathered himself, Madeleine finally snaps, drawing his sword from its scabbard with a metallic hiss. “How dare you.” His voice, a dangerous murmur, grows louder and louder, until it carries to the treetops. “I don’t know what I have done to offend you so. I attempted to be friendly, and reach out with offers of peace, as my family taught me to do for years, but you insist on rebuffing me, sullying my good name with your.. your insolence!”

The sword is pointed at Espresso’s throat, now, and the magician takes a careful step backward, keeping an eye on the gleaming blade. Madeleine doesn’t seem to notice, however, as he barks, “I’ve been lenient in the past, but as a cookie of honour, I can’t let such words continue to slide. The Divine, protect me!”

Celestial light bathes the forest clearing, surrounding Madeleine in its radiance. He lunges forward and swings his sword, a ray of light arcing from its blade. Espresso, caught unawares, finds himself knocked back, sent stumbling to catch his footing.

He regains his balance, clutching on to a tree branch, and counters the next light ray with an explosion of coffee beans that makes Madeleine's attack fizzle out.

“You know I’m right about you,” Espresso taunts, “in fact, we both know this is all a little charade you put on, because-” he plants his feet firmly in the ground, bracing himself against a third wave of light magic. “- beneath all your bravado, your shiny armour and fancy new weapons, you are empty.”

“That’s not true!” Madeleine roars, attempting to close the distance between them. But Espresso splays his hands, and a swirling vortex forms, pulling the paladin backward and into its dark center. Madeleine staggers in pain.

“You’re just a selfish glory-seeker, as slow and soulless as the monsters that- gah!”

Dexterity had never been his strong suit, so when Madeleine’s retaliating attack comes, he doesn’t dodge quickly enough. He sees the sword swing, feels an impact across his face, before his world goes blurry.

His glasses!

A lance of panic spikes through his chest.

He can’t see. He can’t see and he can’t look for his glasses either because if he steps on them that’s it. And Madeleine will win or worse he’ll just leave him here, in the middle of the woods.

The attacks stop coming.

The forest is silent once more, but for the two cookies’ heavy breathing.

Then, Espresso hears the crunching of leaves, sees the blurry shape of Madeleine stride towards him. He readies his magic. Madeleine passes him, and bends down over a spot Espresso can’t quite see.

A familiar metallic object is pressed into his hand.

“Your glasses.”

In a flash, Espresso has them on again, and exhales in relief when the forest comes back into focus.

“I never meant to knock them over. I’m sorry.”

Espresso is about to respond, but Madeleine says, “We should not have let our discussion escalate like this.”

“I’m sorry. We?!” Espresso’s recently restored vision colours. “When it was you who dealt the first blow? You, who initiated this discussion in the first place, who-” He trails off, righteous indignation fading slightly when he sees Madeleine, who stands at arm’s length away from him, both hands resting on the pommel of his sword, his expression unreadable.

“..Yes. Fine. As allies, we shouldn’t have turned on each other like this.”

Madeleine says nothing, so Espresso continues. “But as our previous attempts at civility have shown, you are incapable of holding a conversation without trying to domineer over me, push me into situations I do not want to be in. And I… I admit that I went too far in my personal assessments of you, but the fact remains that I simply cannot work with you beyond what we already are. Allies, and nothing more.”

For the second time, Espresso begins walking back to camp. Madeleine makes no attempt to stop him. “Thank you for retrieving my glasses. Good evening.”

Before he can fully retreat into the copse of trees, he hears Madeleine’s voice, saying, “Wait.”

Espresso pauses for a moment, and continues walking.

“Wait. Please.”

The word ‘please’ sounds so strange on Madeleine’s lips, and Espresso realises he can’t recall if the cookie had ever said the word in all the time they had worked together.

He turns his head.

Madeleine is leaned against a tree, arms folded and a foot kicked up against the trunk. His face is hidden by a curtain of hair.

“You are from The Republic, yes?”

Thrown by the sudden question, Espresso says, “Yes. The both of us are.”

“You’re aware that The Republic is a peaceful nation. No conflict within its gates, no monsters to be found without.”

Where is this going? Espresso responds, “Safe, sterile, and utterly boring. I’m aware.”

“Then what,” Madeleine turns his face away from Espresso, addressing the trees, “what use do you think such a nation has for soldiers? For knights?”

Oh.

Madeleine laughs, not his usual hearty guffaw, filled to the brim with bravado, but a short and bitter exhalation. “Do you know what it’s like to be, as you called me, the ‘slow’ one, in a family of scholars and politicians? For your only prowess to be your physical strength, in a place where that skill is entirely unnecessary?”

“But the knight order you lead-”

“- is purely for show. Just cookies dressed up in shiny armour to remind the other kingdoms we’re not to be trifled with. None of them have actually seen a day of real combat outside of sparring.”

Espresso is back in the clearing, picking a position next to Madeleine so he doesn’t see his sympathetic expression.

“Then… the reason you and all the knights were sent out?”

“As I said, my mission was to seek the legendary Soul Jam that is supposed to grant us cookies eternal life. Not that anyone in the Republic really expects us to find it.”

“They wanted to get rid of you, then.”

Madeleine visibly flinches at Espresso’s words. “I wouldn’t put it so bluntly, but… yes. I’m welcome back home, of course. If I were to return, I’d be met with trumpets and fanfare, but not much else, and certainly not anything approaching respect from those who truly matter.” The knight clenches his fist. “This quest is to be my saving grace. My only purpose, and the only way one like me can conceivably bring pride to House Madeleine. The only way I can be of use”

Espresso regards Madeleine, the revelation casting the cookie in a new light.

“So.. yes, Espresso. I am a selfish glory-seeker. Perhaps I have no other choice but to be.” Madeleine’s previously ramrod-straight posture is gone, and in its place his fists are clenched, shoulders hunched inwards, his hair tumbling forward, shielding his face from view.

And a small part of Espresso feels the strangest urge to push that hair back, to place a comforting hand on the paladin’s shoulder. Anything to stop what has to be the strongest — the most annoying, surely, but the strongest nevertheless — cookie he knows from curling into himself, from hurting like this.

But he holds himself back. All he lets out is a soft, “I think I know how you feel. Not entirely, but some of it.”

Madeleine turns to look at Espresso, a blank expression on his face. “You do.”

The mage lets a spark of magic fly from his hand - a single, glowing coffee bean surrounded by dark shadow. “You have called what I do ‘black magic’ in the past.”

Madeleine, suddenly stricken, says, “I wouldn’t go so far as to call it ‘black magic’, but-”

“- Listen. You have, countless times. And it annoys me to no end, but I understand why. It does look like it, no?” He conjures more coffee beans, letting them spin in circles around him. “I’ve had this ability since I was a child. It did not come from dark origins, I did not make a pact with evil forces to obtain it, as some have believed. It simply was. My magic, like your physical strength, is a part of me.”

Madeleine simply nods.

“But people don’t understand Coffee Magic. Whenever I demonstrated my abilities, I’d be shunned, the respectable citizens of our beloved Republic saying that I was a child of Dark Enchantress Cookie.”

“Espresso…” His magic fizzles out, and now, it is his turn to look away, incapable of facing the pity that is surely in Madeleine’s gaze.

“I was barred from every magic school. I had to learn, and practice, and make it on my own. If I didn’t have Latte Cookie, I don’t know how I would have-” Espresso shakes his head. “No matter. All I am saying is that I do know how it feels, not to belong. To have to carve a place for yourself among people who can’t respect you.”

A hand settles on his shoulder, and Espresso almost flinches. He looks up, and his gaze meets Madeleine’s, earnest and apologetic. “Espresso, first and foremost, I am sorry that I ripped your cloak in trying to keep you here.”

Espresso’s eyes travel to his torn (and expensive) wizard’s cloak. “It’s fine. I’ll just have to get it repaired once we return to camp.”

Madeleine continues. “And I’m sorry, truly sorry that I misjudged you based on your magic. That I pushed when I should have respected your wishes. Respected you.”

And this time, Espresso believes Madeleine’s words. He lets his own hand creep upwards to rest over the knight’s.

He sighs. “And I apologise, too. I made undue assumptions about you, and let these assumptions colour my actions. I treated you poorly, and for that, I’m sorry.”

When their eyes meet again, it is as if the forest goes silent, nature’s rustle and hum being forgotten as the two look at each other, and for the first time, understand.

Of course, no moment can truly last, and it is Espresso who breaks the spell, gently moving Madeleine’s hand off his shoulder. “Naturally, don’t think this means I’ll let you strongarm me into doing whatever you want me to. You still irritate me. Incessantly.”

Madeleine chuckles. “Naturally. Besides, I do not imagine such actions will be necessary in the future. I think we understand each other perfectly clearly, now.”

Espresso lets a grin creep across his face. Rolling his eyes, he says, “Don’t assume you know everything based on a tidbit of my past. I encompass multitudes, Knight-Commander.”

“In turn, I request that you not write me off just yet,” Madeleine responds teasingly. “I may not know everything about you, but I would be very interested to,”

Both their eyes widen, Madeleine realising the forwardness of his statement. “That is. I will give you the space you need, certainly, but if you ever feel like-”

“- Wait. Stop.” Espresso takes a breath, lets it out. “I- I do feel the same way. You’re a good fighter, and I did not let myself give you a fair chance.”

He crosses the short distance between them, and extends a hand. “I’m Espresso Cookie of The Republic. Founder of the Coffee Magic School. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Madeleine regards the outstretched hand in wonder.

"... Don't make a big deal of it, knight."

He puffs out his chest, taking Espresso’s hand. “And I’m Madeleine Cookie of The Republic. Servant of The Divine, Knight Comm-” He stops himself, clears his throat. Then, he smiles and simply says, “I’m Madeleine Cookie. It’s an honour to get to know you.”

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Curious Cat pt 6

Summary. Shigaraki , feared villain. Has been hit with a quirk that has turned him into a moody mouthy cat. Reader takes him home and he slowly comes around, sort of. But the quirk has worn off now. And after a little quickie hes gone back to the hideout full of regret.

Shigaraki stomped all the way back to the hideout with his arms folded tight over his chest. Nice job, idiot. She knows it's you. Great. You were supposed to scare her not hesitate like some scaredy cat. He looked over his shoulder,not seeing you. Well , it's not like she will follow me. Not into villain territory. Stupid human.

You had fallen to your knees outside once you lost him . People looked down at you, your coffee stained apron, your shocked face. That was Shigaraki, a villain. He had Tomu’s collar , but why? Would he know where Tomu is-?

“Y/n!!!” Shouted a voice along with a door slam.

You looked back to see your boss Looking angry. “Go home! You're done for the day! Im taking that cup out of your paycheck!” The door slammed again getting a wince out of you. A passerby offered to help you up but you pushed yourself up brushing off your apron. You needed answers.

Shigaraki kicked the hideout door open to see Toga ‘helping’ Kurogiri wipe down the bar. She was using her sleeve. Kurogiri was less than happy about it but he let her help anyway. The door slam got them both to look up . Toga waved and Kurogiri said ‘hello’ . Shigaraki sat down with a hard thud clicking his teeth.

“Did you?” Kurogiri asked softly.

“I gave her the stupid collar back and left.”

“Did you explain the situation?”

“No”

“Tomura Shigaraki!”

The Leader clicked his teeth spinning around to see the rest of the hideout. This dump is not homey at all. Humans home was much more- He blinked , squeezing his folded arms tight.

Toga tapped his back so he would look at her. “Tomura, what if she comes here?”

“Shes a stupid Human , she wont know where to look.”

“You better hope your right Tomura Shigaraki.”

“Tch.” The Leader slid off his chair walking to his room, he slammed the door and threw himself on his bed staring at the wall. Stupid bed. Not even comfortable. He grabbed the blanket pulling it over his head burying his face in his pillow.

The days went on, and you had been doing all kinds of research on Shigaraki . You always found the same information , crimes, murders, the League. You just wanted to know where the hideout was.. Maybe you should look yourself. And with that awful idea you got up putting your phone away and grabbed a bag stuffing your phone in it. You left your house calling a taxi and made your way to the other side of the city.

Shigaraki was playing his switch on the couch with Toga next to him, asking him all sorts of annoying questions about being a cat. Spinner was at the bar trying to figure out what his Leader would look like as a cat and Kirogiri was wiping down the bar.

“Did you eat cat food?” Asked the girl

“Do you wanna die?” He snapped at her but she just giggled leaning on him.

“Pleaseeee Tomuraaa. Its important. What did you do when she left for work? I bet you threw a fit.”

“Shut up.”

“You did didn't you!!! Kurogiri!! Even as a kitty he was fussy!!!”

“I believe it Himiko”

Shigaraki flinched at their laughter rolling his eyes.

The door opened and Dabi walked in with his hand over his mouth and a paper in his free hand. He strolled over to his Leader chuckling. Shigaraki looked up and Toga jumped up to see the paper. She let out the loudest squeal Shigaraki had ever heard, he winced. Dabi flipped the paper over leaning down laughing loud. “IS THAT YOU!!!?”

It was a Missing Cat flyer. With a picture of him looking VERY angry at his cat toys. When the fuck did Human take this?!?. Shigaraki got up grabbing the flyer from the laughing villain and Kurogiri rushed over to see it too.

Missing Cat.

Tomu

Light blue, shaggy hair on his head

Fussy but very loveable

A phone number and a home address.

Fucking Human! God dammit.. What the hell is this?!? . It was obvious that the cat was him, if villains found out you had contact with him, or the Pros..

“LOOK AT YOU HAHA!!!!!!” Dabi weezed, leaning on Toga who couldn't stop making annoying noises.

Spinner snuck over getting a peek and his eyes got wide. He looked at Shigaraki then the flyer a few times. Kurogiri was chuckling and Shigaraki was staring at the flyer, crinkling its side.

“TOMUUU!!!” Teased Dabi.

“So cute!!!” Toga added.

“SHUT U-“

A quiet knock filled everyone's ears. The door opened slowly and Shigaraki dusted the flyer.

••

The taxi brought you just outside the sketchy part of the city. You thanked the man and he shrugged turning around driving away. You squeezed your bag looking at the bunched together buildings. Some villains were making themselves known too, walking around the area eyeing you. You had found an image online that looked like an old bar, it was your only lead unless you asked the villains..

Cautiously you walked down the sidewalk trying to ignore the villains you passed.

“Whats a pretty thing like you doing here huh?”

“Never seen you before”

“Looking for someone?”

“It's not safe here for a pretty lady…”

Even though the villains never approached you, them following you , talking in your ear was terrifying. You came to a rather large fancy building stopping in front of it to look in the mirrors. The villains dispersed and the door clicked open. You looked up to see an old man smiling down at you, he had on a fancy suit and a cigarette in his mouth.

“Can i help you, little lady?”

“I mean no trouble.. i'm looking for Shigaraki.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, closing the door behind him with a small smirk on his face. “Allow me to take you.”

“Thank you! I ..”

“Giran, sweetie.”

••

On the way there you explained why you were looking for him and Giran could not help but chuckle. Oh this was grand he thought. He knew Shigaraki was missing for a while but he never expected him to be turned into a cat . Giran brought you to a building that matched your photo and held the door open for you following you inside. The closer you got to the second door the louder the laughing you heard got.

You looked back once you reached the door and Giran smiled at you, lighting a new cigarette with his gun. Very slowly you pushed the door open peaking in.

Everyone looked back at you and Giran peered in over you waving. “Hello hello, I brought a friend.” He teased pushing the door open. The flyer turned to dust and Shigaraki pushed Dabi and Toga outta the way, stomping over to you .

What the hell is this. What the hell is this?!? How did she find me? Giran? Fucking HELL.

“Giran.” He spat out.

Giran put his hand on your head smiling. “She just wants to talk Tomu.”

Your eyes got big and you grabbed Shigarakis wrist, scaring him . “Tomu!!! Its you isn't it? “

Shigaraki shook you off stepping back. “Get her out of here. I don't know this person.”

You whimpered and Kurogiri walked over holding his hand out to you. “Miss. Welcome. I have a couple questions for you.”

You nodded fast letting him lead you to the bar while Shigaraki gave Giran the worst death look . The old man shrugged smiling , the door closing behind him.

Toga grabbed your hand squealing asking a bunch of questions, beaming about how pretty you were. Dabi went over too leaning on the bar asking you all about his Leader. Kurogiri offered you water and shot his Leader a look till he stomped over sitting down next to you. Spinner walked into the room seeing you , he jumped back behind the wall watching.

“What the hell are you thinking?” Shigaraki asked you with annoyance in his voice . “Do you realize how dangerous it is to be here? The fact that you know me . Your so stupid. Inconsiderate Human. “

“Tomura Shigaraki!!!” Kurogiri enforced.

The Leader crossed his arms and Kurogiri turned his attention back to you . You were gripping your bag tight trying not to look at him. It was him, your cat. Your cat was a villain. Slowly you looked up at Kurogiri . “What.. did you want to ask?” . While you and Kurogiri chatted Shigaraki was left with his thoughts.

I cannot believe this. I should have dusted her when I had the chance. How is Human getting home huh? These fucking villains around here wont be nice to Human. Its late in the day , your suppose to be home watching that stupid tv show you love so much . Eating that cheap food .

He looked over at you , his fists tightening. You turned to him once you caught him staring. Slowly you reached into your bag pulling the collar out and an apron.

Human. I dont want that stupid collar. I hated that thing. What is that cloth? He snatched it looking it over. The apron? The apron I slept on? What the fuck am i go-

“Tomu.. I want you to have these..” you sniffled and his gaze shot right to your face. You had tears pooling in your eyes. “I want you to know.. finding you. Was the happiest I've been in a very long time. I don't understand what happened-“

“I changed back and I fucked you.” Be upset.

That night when it was hot as fuck in your dump of a home.” Get out of here

Kurogiri raised his voice startling you. “Tomura Shigaraki!!!” But he just ignored it

“The quirk wore off and I took advantage of your sutty body .” It's not safe here, you'll get hurt.

You retracted your arm looking down at the collar, your tears hitting it.

“That stupid collar. I hated it. And this.. apron?” He tossed it over the bar . “Stupid.” Why aren't you leaving? “You were so tight around me , squeezing me just right”

“TOMURA SHIGARAKI”

“SHUT UP KUROGIRI!!” Shigaraki kicked his chair away. “ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. “ he turned his attention to you to see you wiping your eyes so you could see him. “Tomu.. you were so gentle with me… you even dressed me after….”

His heart nearly skipped a beat. Oh fuck.

••

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love @babayaga67 @Unknownweeabo

[calpalirwin]

My Damn Reflection

Request in which Ashton dates someone with an eating disorder.

A/N: I think that as a creative person, it’s important for me not to shy away from creating things on topics that might make others uncomfortable. That being said, I will A.) tag this fic accordingly and B.) make the disclaimer that I myself have no experience with having an ED, and therefore acknowledge that my (incredibly brief and basic) research is no substitute for anyone’s real experiences. And to you, my dear followers, you are beautiful as you are, so please take care of yourself.

Content warning: Eating disorders, body issues, issues with body image, etc.

Word count: 940

And away, and away we go!

__

“You okay?” Ashton asked as you picked at your dinner.

“Mhm,” you nodded, your fork pushing the food around your plate. “Why?”

“Well, you’re just not eating. Do you not like it?”

“No, it’s great!” You offered a half smile, forcing yourself to take a bite, chewing slowly.

“You’re not gonna hurt my feelings if you don’t like it. It’s okay.”

“No,” you continued, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “Your cooking’s fine, babe. I’m just not that hungry, I guess.”

“Oh… are you sure?” He clapped a hand over his mouth as the latter part of his statement fell out. “Sorry. Forget I asked. If you’re not hungry, you’re not hungry.”

“No worries.” Again, you gave him a half smile, your insides starting to churn.

Ashton went back to eating his own dinner, while you continued to push your food around in circles, wondering if the small bite you had was already making you look bloated. You sighed inwardly, betting that it was. Eating always made you look bloated. And you hated looking bloated. “Okay,” Ashton spoke suddenly. “I can’t. I’m trying, but I can’t. I haven’t seen you eat all day. How are you not hungry? I don’t get it.”

“I’m just not…”

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, his voice soft. “I’m not blind. I know you do this a lot. I just wanna know why. I’m worried about you.”

“Well, don’t. I’m a grown ass adult.”

“I’m your boyfriend. I’m gonna worry about you, love. I can’t help that.”

“And I can’t help that I’m not hungry.”

“Fine.”

Neither of you spoke another word on the subject, until he caught you staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, twisting your body this way, and that way, scrutinizing every inch. “Like what you see?” he flirted, his arms wrapping around your midsection, a kiss landing on your cheek with an exaggerated smack.

“Parts of it,” you answered honestly.

“Mmm, tell me,” he said, his hazel eyes watching you both in the mirror. When you described him, he frowned. “That’s me…”

“Yeah. That's what I like in the mirror.”

“I meant you, love. What do you like about you?”

“Is this about me not eating again? I told you. I wasn’t hungry.”

“No. This is about me asking you what you like about yourself when you see your reflection. But if you think there’s a connection between my concern at dinner and my concern now, then maybe we should talk about that.”

“Talk about what?!” you finally snapped, your eyes narrowing. “That I wanna slam my fist through this stupid mirror because I hate how I look in it? Or that I hate how I wanna go downstairs, and eat all the food in the cupboards until I puke it all back up on the floor? Which talk do you wanna have?!”

Ashton’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t take the bait. His concern for you wasn’t supposed to be a fight. “Come with me,” he said instead, leading you out of the bathroom and towards the full length mirror in place besides the dresser. “Sit,” he instructed in a tone that left no room for argument.

“What are you doing?” you asked, as he took a seat behind you, pulling you into his lap.

“If you can listen to that lying voice in your head, then you can listen to mine telling you the truth. Do you wanna know what I see when I look at you?”

“What?”

“I see someone who is strong. And smart. Someone who’s kind, and who would move heaven and earth if it meant your loved ones didn’t suffer. Someone who lights up any room they walk into. Someone people look up to. Someone who is so incredibly beautiful inside and out, that it physically hurts me sometimes. And someone who I wish you would treat with the same love and respect that you treat everyone else with.”

“Well, that’s great and all. But it still doesn’t change what I see.”

“Fair enough,” Ashton nodded, rising to his feet as another idea came to him. He held his hand out to help you up. “C’mon.”

“Oh, now what?” you asked, dragging your feet as you followed him. “What are you doing?” you asked when he grabbed a small hand mirror.

“Just trust me.”

A few moments later found you both sitting outside, the small hand mirror and a hammer between you. “Smash it,” he said simply, handing you the hammer.

“The mirror? It’ll break.”

“I know.”

“The glass is gonna get everywhere.”

“I’ll get the broom.”

You raised an eyebrow, and the hammer hesitantly. “You’re sure?”

“Positive. Smash it to bits.”

You brought the hammer down lightly on the mirror, a giant crack running across it.

“Harder! C’mon!” Ashton encouraged.

The next hit chipped out a small piece, more fissures forming.

“That mirror is everything you hate about yourself! Hit it! Break it the same way it breaks you!”

With an angry yell, you took out every frustration you ever had with your body out on the mirror. Every skipped meal. Every calorie you painstakingly counted. Every sweet treat devoured on a binge. Each one was a new hit, glass shards clinking as they hit the concrete. Sweat and tears ran down your face, your chest heaving with the effort until you finally let the hammer fall to the side.

“Better?” Ashton asked, his fingers carefully picking up one of the bigger, jagged pieces.

You nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good.” From his pocket, he produced a Sharpie, writing something on the piece before handing it to you. You are perfect. I love you. -A

__

Tag List

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[tillman]

i kinda rly wanna learn more about arthuriana stuff bc of ur posts but i have almost no idea where to start 🥺 do u have any recs or links?

YES ill copy and paste my usual answer under the cut real quick cus its . late and im tired . maybe tomorrow ill make a doc explaining this better actually...

sorry to mobile users fr the read more <3

i think the best two starting options involve the same strategy of “pick a knight you like the most and consume all the content you can find on them until you get bored/think of another knight and repeat” and its as simple as “do you want to start with sir gawain or do you not know who you want to start with.”

sir gawain i think is the best starting knight if you wanna go the route of reading as much as u can about one and moving on, since theres a LOT of varied content and hes just in a lot. hes important! anyways the first recommendation i have to start with is Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. its a wonderful piece of poetry about a homoerotic beheading game, getting a movie this summer! its fucking gorgeous and a really good introduction if youve never read this old of texts before. i have a few different links so you can take your pick of what you prefer :-)

heres it in the original middle english, its beautiful and if you get the beat down sounds fucking gorgeous but i understand how hard it is to get through if youve never read through it before.

lou recomends Raffels translation above all others which i kinda have to agree with. heres part one and heres part two of that.

and the other link i have directly on hand atm is tolkiens translation which ive skimmed before and it seems really solid.

if you dont want to start with a short and tender christmas party, consider another text most arthuriana fans will consider a must read. its a bit more intimidating than sgatgks poetry but like. hey. its Sir Malory’s Le Morte D’arthur.

this is more on the level of most of the story things youll find for arthuriana and a good starting point to get an overview of a lot of major plot points and characters that show up time and time again in the legends, all of the major knights are covered through malory’s own spin on them and he tries to cover a lot of older tales in his weird fanfiction.

the text can be weird ESPECIALLY if you arent used to middle english since he …. used some weird as fuck words? even for the time. but thats malory.

I highly recommend, if you can get a copy, Kieth Baines modern retelling of Le Morte, it rewords things to make more sense to those used to a more modern prose and while it takes out some of the nuance of some scenes, its way easier to pick up and read. were working on a full scan of it atm actually but the book of arthur is up in our shared drive :-) ill shove a link down here for u

heres the first bit of baines rendition. honestly if u can find a copy for cheap grab it is a fun time

heres the pdf i use for the full text, warning for how weird its structured? its long paragraphs with no quotes around text but if you have no problems with that go for it. heres book one and heres book two.

from there, theres a ton of different options you can follow, but again i think the least overwhelming way to go about it is pick a knight you like and read whatever seems fun that has them in it !

best choices include gawain again, the marriage of sir gawain and dame ragnelle is fun, l’atre perilleux is so fucking wild and just a fun time, the turke and sir gawain has gawain playing tennis? like what more do you need

lancelot has a decent collection of old stories including the entire vulgate cycle (my favorite piece of arthurian lit, im working on scanning the entire english translation ;-)), lancelot and the hart with the white foot IS SO FUCKING GOOD and i have scans of most of the lancelot compilation works, if you have like 10 bucks to spare, Lancelot and the lord of the distant isles is on amazon for cheap and retells the book of galehaut section of the vulgate and its . so good. please care about galehaut.

tristan as wild as he is is also a really good choice for how popular the Tristan and Isolde legend was in europe. you can find a ton of versions of it, though i prefer the german one by gottfried von strassburg, another amazing one is the povest o’tryschane which is a slavic take on the legend that weirdly throws sections of the vulgate and some italian romances in? i adore it either way.

uhmmm some more off the cuff recommendations include Troyes four romances and also Perceval. as much as i bully troyes knight of the cart, knight of the lion, and knight of the grail are some of my favorite words. skip cliges if youre doing that though it sucks so bad. troyes hated his version of tristan and isolde so much he wrote cliges. that alone should keep you from it. eric and enide is ok but eric sucks SO HARD. i hate that bitch.

more modern but tennysons Idylls of the king? fucking stellar. i recently got a copy and its really gorgeous poetry. kinda like le morte in having a good overview of key events in the texts and some notable characters so this works as a good jumping off point

and finally one i cant really speak on much due to my preference of the romances, but i have many good friends who say the welsh sources are REALLY REALLY good and worth checking out :-) the mabinogion mainly, but a lot of the scattered poetry is really fun!

for finding pdfs for some of the ones i just named, u can check out my doc of whatever sources i have on hand. im missing quiet a few but i got most of the ones i recommend at least io3hewt. heres the link to that. ill post a link to the vulgate when i can finish up scanning the prose merlin !

anyways mwah feel free to msg me if u have questions im insane and like researching this stuff for hours and am willing to find out any information

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

[izupie]

100 Relatable Writer Things

(Courtesy of the creative writers from the Kacchako Discord server. We suffer together fam.)

doesn't write for 84 years 

starts a billion things, no time to finish or update

daydreaming about writing 

thinks about writing in shower, has no writing utensils

about to fall asleep, sudden motivation and inspiration

stuck at dayjob, pure, unadulterated motivation and inspiration

arrives home too tired to write

sits down at computer to write, spends two hours on the internet doing everything except writing

listening to music and it slows your writing to a snail's pace.

accidentally write the lyrics instad of dialogue

ignore typos

your Internet sucks and you can't connect to Google docs for a day.

trying to write angst only to slowly turn it into fluff

you remember you have pets and wanna cuddle them over writing 

you have a carefully written plan, that all of your characters are ignoring and start going in directions you are unprepared for

your characters do what they want, fuck u 

you realize you wrote a plot point too early and then mash the delete button.

you bingewatch a sitcom and plan all of these everyday aus and don't write any of them and demolish ice cream in the dark instead

you stare at your screen after doing nothing for an hour and the whole time you are internally screaming.

you open your story document and suddenly realise the bookshelf in your room needs alphabetising 

you look back at the manga for reference but end up just rereading the manga 

you fantasize about your characters and blush because they're so attractive

you realise you've been making weird expressions at your screen while you've been typing

the people around you have also noticed.

people wonder if you are okay in public settings writing angst

you brainstorm amazing ideas for your fic as you sleep but when you wake up you don't remember shit

having idea bouncing buddies to help with your au and end up creating a separate au

getting aus mixed

finding somewhere to write smut where nobody will accidentally look over your shoulder

you write smut in public but you're so tired that you don't care who sees anymore  

doing dumb shit like "bakugou looked at bakugou" and publishing it

you finish writing a chapter and look over your outline only to learn you skipped doing a scene.

try to quickly edit things, end up combing through chapter again

lots of picture refs for characters

forgetting your time scale while writing. how much time has passed? idk man

writing a one shot that becomes a 20k multichap

hitting 4k a chapter and crying it's not enough

hitting 19k a chapter and thinking, "maybe I can do more."

wondering if word count its too short/long

just crying. in general.

intending to write an epic slow burn and dropping it two chapters in for another idea

having a fully written arc expecting 10 chapts but with editing it becomes 7 chapts somehow

wanting to write a slow burn but getting so excited to get to the big part you just say fuck it

having so much of an au build up that you are excited for that it unintentionally becomes slowburn

intending to write a serious fic but you don't want to put the characters in any more pain than they canonically are so you turn them all into major goofballs

OR character didn't get enough pain canonically and it was supposed to be funny story

writing angst and pain because you're a masochist

love watching readers cry

taking pleasure in watching them cry

blasting meme music in your ears as your readers scream at you about breaking their hearts

hoping for fanart

teasing spoilers bc you want validation

running from rabid readers

sometimes you write for an hour and have done 500 words. Other times you blink and 3k words are suddenly there.

having a decent steady schedule or becoming spastic update qween, there is no in between. Bonus points if you do separate fics like this

watching a movie, inserting characters for yet another au

taking polls what to update next

never listening to the polls you create

making a schedule and sticking to it. Your fans think your organized but it's more like controlled chaos.

motivated to do something but what? 

literally buying a journal with goals and a tentative update schedule so you can keep your ass in check

not using said journal bc lazy

having monthly updates but writing more than half of it in the last week.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I TITLE IT

what's editing

can someone edit my stuff pls

writing the title of the chapter and then nothing else that day.

write, no edits, only write. Cry

69... 

setting a day to respond to comments. forget

stare at comments with awe and fear

wordvomit, keyboard smash

comments are life

kudos are resurrected life

holy shit a bookmark???????

holy shit someone recced me

wanting to share but don't want to be annoying

wanna collab?

surfing tumblr for writing refs bc your english sucks

i love dialogue~

i hate dialogue

does this sOUND NATURAL THO

is this too descriptive or not enough?

how do i describe this place i've never been to

have i used [blank word] too much?

more pic refs

said is too plain, but they're not doing anything but sitting and talking

does this smell description sound too fanficcy?

having a color bible

is this ooc?

how would you describe a <____> hitting the <___> floor?

how do i describe violence accurately

how many followers/readers will i lose to this

what does <___> pain feel like?

compare yourself to other popular writers

what are you writing has several word docs open

googling stuff that makes you sound like a murderer for rESEARCH

staring at your phone praying someone reviews it soon

how do i write texts or IMs

having that one follower who always comments

BONUS:  Is it truly finished or am I just sick of writing it

[the-winter-spider]

All In Your Head - Part Four

A/N: I hate building up story lines, i just want to skip ahead to all the angst and the draaaamaaaaaaa. tbh I'm not that happy with this part :/

Pairings: Sam x Dean x Reader!Sister

Word Count: 1,800

Masterlist

Flashbacks are in italics

PS i tried to tag some people and it wouldn’t let me??? Some body help a girl out???? whys that???

“It was a few years ago, i was stuck in the cage again. And after what happened last time, y/n, she took my spot with him” Sam started to sob “In there”

“Oh Sammy, I'm sorry you have that weight on your shoulders”

Sam lifted his head up “W-what?”

“I'm sorry, she put you through that”

His brows furrowed “She didn’t put me through anything, she saved me”

“Well, im sorry thats the only way you see that situation” Standing up, Mary made her way towards the door

“Where are you going?”

“Clearly i'm not welcomed here, I just keep butting heads with you and Dean. You guys aren’t my little boys anymore”

“You keep butting heads with us because you have a problem with y/n, you know nothing about what we’ve gone through all these years, of course we're not your little boys anymore, but we're still your kids”

“She’s not my kid”

++

“y/n, y/n, y/n” 

Your eyes remained shut you couldn’t see anything but you could feel everything.

“I'm going to bring you back”

His voice was getting louder, and what scared you was it wasn’t Sam or Dean’s voice.

“You know you were my favourite toy, but shhh don’t tell your brothers they might get jealous”

Everything felt scattered, your thoughts were moving a mile a minute.

“Open your eyes y/n, you’re home”

Shaking your head, you brought your knees to your chest, baking up further in the corner.

“Oh, y/n when will you realise, you will be back. Just your choice if you want to be brought back in one piece or in pieces”

++

You felt like you were on fire, but you couldn’t scream. You body was aching, but you felt yourself relax when you couldn’t hear his voice anymore instead you could hear Dean’s.

“y/n”

You peeled your eyes open, moving your head to look over at Dean “Dee”

His eyes shot open they were bloodshot, and puffy. You couldn’t help but feeling guilty again for what you were putting them through, you were nothing but trouble for them.

“He has me” You sobbed out

“Oh sweetheart, you're safe, i won't let anything happen to you, I promise.”

Pushing yourself up you had no idea what came over you, you wanted out of this room scared that at any second the walls would start caving in and you would be sucked back down there with Lucifer “You can’t keep protecting me Dean”

Dean grabbed your arm trying to push you back down as lightly as he could, his voice soft “Hey you need to lay down and get some rest”

Your body was throbbing in pain, but you pushed through it, lifting your legs you swung them over the edge “I can’t Dean” You were exhausted, but you needed to do research, you need to figure out if this could be prevented or if this was your destiny because if it was then you weren’t going to put your brothers through a fight that wasn’t worth fighting.

++

You were in seated in the back seat of the impala, in your usual spot. You eyes couldn’t help but keep glances towards Dean. His jaw clenched, he was trying to keep a hard exterior on, but you could see it in his eyes, the pain. His knuckles going white from gripping the steering wheel to hard.

“There’s a motel just off this turn” Sam pointed to the left, breaking the silence. His voice small, trying not to say the wrong thing and push Dean over the edge. Dean grunted, nodding before making a sharp turn last minute causing you to bash your head against the window.

Sam’s head whipped around as Dean pulled into a parking spot “Are you okay!?”

Lifting your hand to your head, you could feel blood “Yeah, Sammy i'm okay” You gave him a small smile.

Dean was already out of the car, slamming his door shut you winced at the loud sound, “Come on, ill check your head out in the room”

You nodded in response, truth was your head hurt like a bitch, you didn’t tell the boys how hard you really hit your head back at the warehouse trying to save Ben. Has Sam got out, you stayed a few seconds longer trying to compose yourself “You’re not going to cry” You mumbled before stepping out, just in time to see Dean coming back from the office with the room key.

“One room, two doubles. You're on the couch” Dean stated, gesturing to you. Nodding you grabbed your bags from the trunk.

Making your way into the room, Sam already had the first aid kit out. “Come” he turned to you, patting the small counter, you slid on. Wincing as Sam moved your hair out of the cut. Your eyes moved to glance at Dean a blank stare on his face. You couldn’t imagine what he was going through, after what happened tonight you weren’t sure just how long he was going to hold this with him, he would try to brush it off in a few days but he would take it out on a hunt being reckless, or he would drink himself into a coma.

You never had anyone but the boys, while at some point or another they had separate, normal lives without you, you could feel a burning in the pit of your stomach even just trying to imagine what it felt like having the memories of the only woman you ever loved erased.

Your train of thought was gone has you felt a burning pain in your head “Ow! What the hell Sammy”

“Sorry” He mumbled “This cuts really deep, did you hit your head early?”

You nodded, “why didn’t you say anything? You could have a concussion!” He scolded you.

“Because i'm fine Sam, just drop it” Sighing he nodded his head “Fine but don’t get mad at me if i  watch you like a hawk”

Rolling your eyes, you jumped down “Yes Mom”

He let out a small laugh, making his way to the washroom. Leaving Dean and you in a awkward silence. Biting your nails, a habit you encountered over the years. Sighing you're made your way to the edge of the bed, sitting beside Dean. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing ever coming out, you didn’t know what to say.

“Y/n”

Your lifted your head so fast, the throbbing pain in it coming back but you pushed through it when you seen the tears streaming down Dean’s face ‘Yes Dee?”

“Promise you won’t ever leave me? I don’t think i could handle it if you left to”

“I promise”

++

“Please y/n, do this for me” You could see the pain in his pleading eyes, you knew how much Dean loved you. But you were doing this for them,

“Dean” You breathed out “I can’t just stay here all day”

He sighed “I know, but Cas said you needed rest”

“Dean, I can’t”

“Why not? Please y/n don’t be stubborn like me, I know you’re tired, i'm tired just from looking at you, you looked like crap” He let out a small chuckle trying to lighten the mood.

You gave him a small smile “It’s not that Dee…”

His face laced with concern “Then what is it?”

“I'm scared Dean” You sobbed out, bringing your hands to cover your face. You could feel the weight on your bed shift, Dean took your hands aways from you face as gentle as he could scared at any second you would crumble into dust in his hands.

“Look at me y/n/n” His voice soft making eye contact with him, he continued “You have nothing to be afraid of. Sammy and I, hell even Cass, we have your back, as long as you're with one of us, i promise with everything in me, you’re going to be okay.”

“You can’t protect me from this, he..”

Cutting you off “Like hell i can’t”

“Dean, you can’t. Whenever I close my eyes he's gonna be there, and i’ll back in the cage”

His eyes softened “Will figure it out, Okay?”

“Okay”

“Now, ill let you leave your room under one condition”

You giggled, “Dean im 30, im not a baby anymore”

He scoffed “As long as i'm alive, you might as well be a baby”

“Yeah, yeah. So whats this condition?”

++

Finally making your way towards the library, You promised Dean that you would eat whatever Sam ate, so that meant no more bacon, no more burgers, no more burgers with bacon on it. Dean had his arm wrapped around you, helping you towards the library, he insisted on giving you a piggy back, but your arms hurt too much to hold onto him, so this was the alternative. Making your way around the corner, stopping at the blood stain on the floor, you shuttered, bring your arms to hug yourself.

Dean noticed your change in mood, your exterior stiffening, “Y/n?” He questioned, but his eyes followed yours, tightening his grip on you, he rubbed his thumb in circles on your upper arm, pulling you close to his side.

The library coming into view, your face lighting up when you seen Sam, his back turned towards you, Mary’s eyes shifted from looking at Sam, towards Dean and you. Sam turned around when he noticed her eyes were no longer on him.

Making his way towards you, he pulled you into one of his famous hugs “I'm glad you’re okay y/n”

“As long as I have you two by my side, I'll always be okay”

Dean gave you a little shove “That's the spirit”

Mary walked towards you three, her eyes never landing on you, “Sam? I need your answer”

You could see Sam’s change in composure, Dean noticed it to. Becoming wary, you could feel the air get heavy, your heart started to speed up.

“Whats going on?” Dean pushed, looking between his Mother and little brother.

“I asked him to chose”

“Chose what?”

He gave you the same look he gave you when he left you when Dean was in hell, and in purgatory. “Sammy?” You questioned, but you already knew what she meant, a tear falling down your cheek.

“I’m sorry y/n” Sam spoke, his voice just below a whisper

You look towards Dean answering his question “to chose between me and her”

Dean’s face harden, his jaw clenched, his fist balling up before he brought it up, putting all his weight into it as it collided with his little brothers face.

Tags:

@fallen-castiel @cookie-dough-lova @anime-pasta @i-just-wanna-live-gc @lemonadegazeelle @tomlinsonlovers @jackjackljaqui @avenging-winter @an-emotionallycrippled-fangirl @lonelyuniverseblog @percussiongirl2017 @overcastmisfitkid @thesignpainter11@justhere1112 @rustic11816 @the-eagle-mockingbird-bookworm @mariazintili @bethabear12 @sireennotsiren

[tillman]

what should i read 4 arthurian legend idk where to start

ok hold on lemme find one of my other answers to this ask for u :-) im too tired to write out the whole thing rn

yunder the cut . rip mobile users LOL

i think the best two starting options involve the same strategy of “pick a knight you like the most and consume all the content you can find on them until you get bored/think of another knight and repeat” and its as simple as “do you want to start with sir gawain or do you not know who you want to start with.”

sir gawain i think is the best starting knight if you wanna go the route of reading as much as u can about one and moving on, since theres a LOT of varied content and hes just in a lot. hes important! anyways the first recommendation i have to start with is Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. its a wonderful piece of poetry about a homoerotic beheading game, getting a movie this summer! its fucking gorgeous and a really good introduction if youve never read this old of texts before. i have a few different links so you can take your pick of what you prefer :-)

heres it in the original middle english, its beautiful and if you get the beat down sounds fucking gorgeous but i understand how hard it is to get through if youve never read through it before.

lou recomends Raffels translation above all others which i kinda have to agree with. heres part one and heres part two of that.

and the other link i have directly on hand atm is tolkiens translation which ive skimmed before and it seems really solid.

if you dont want to start with a short and tender christmas party, consider another text most arthuriana fans will consider a must read. its a bit more intimidating than sgatgks poetry but like. hey. its Sir Malory’s Le Morte D’arthur.

this is more on the level of most of the story things youll find for arthuriana and a good starting point to get an overview of a lot of major plot points and characters that show up time and time again in the legends, all of the major knights are covered through malory’s own spin on them and he tries to cover a lot of older tales in his weird fanfiction.

the text can be weird ESPECIALLY if you arent used to middle english since he …. used some weird as fuck words? even for the time. but thats malory.

I highly recommend, if you can get a copy, Kieth Baines modern retelling of Le Morte, it rewords things to make more sense to those used to a more modern prose and while it takes out some of the nuance of some scenes, its way easier to pick up and read. were working on a full scan of it atm actually but the book of arthur is up in our shared drive :-) ill shove a link down here for u

heres the first bit of baines rendition. honestly if u can find a copy for cheap grab it is a fun time

heres the pdf i use for the full text, warning for how weird its structured? its long paragraphs with no quotes around text but if you have no problems with that go for it. heres book one and heres book two.

from there, theres a ton of different options you can follow, but again i think the least overwhelming way to go about it is pick a knight you like and read whatever seems fun that has them in it !

best choices include gawain again, the marriage of sir gawain and dame ragnelle is fun, l’atre perilleux is so fucking wild and just a fun time, the turke and sir gawain has gawain playing tennis? like what more do you need

lancelot has a decent collection of old stories including the entire vulgate cycle (my favorite piece of arthurian lit, im working on scanning the entire english translation ;-)), lancelot and the hart with the white foot, though i havent been able to find a FULL translation, is wonderful and with that the lancelot collection of old stories is a lot of fun the dutch loved him, if you have like 10 bucks to spare, Lancelot and the lord of the distant isles is on amazon for cheap and retells the book of galehaut section of the vulgate and its . so good. please care about galehaut.

tristan as wild as he is is also a really good choice for how popular the Tristan and Isolde legend was in europe. you can find a ton of versions of it, though i prefer the german one by gottfried von strassburg, another amazing one is the povest o’tryschane which is a slavic take on the legend that weirdly throws sections of the vulgate and some italian romances in? i adore it either way.

uhmmm some more off the cuff recommendations include Troyes four romances and also Perceval. as much as i bully troyes knight of the cart, knight of the lion, and knight of the grail are some of my favorite words. skip cliges if youre doing that though it sucks so bad. troyes hated his version of tristan and isolde so much he wrote cliges. that alone should keep you from it. eric and enide is ok but eric sucks SO HARD. i hate that bitch.

more modern but tennysons Idylls of the king? fucking stellar. i recently got a copy and its really gorgeous poetry. kinda like le morte in having a good overview of key events in the texts and some notable characters so this works as a good jumping off point

and finally one i cant really speak on much due to my preference of the romances, but i have many good friends who say the welsh sources are REALLY REALLY good and worth checking out :-) the mabinogion mainly, but a lot of the scattered poetry is really fun!

for finding pdfs for some of the ones i just named, u can check out my doc of whatever sources i have on hand. im missing quiet a few but i got most of the ones i recommend at least io3hewt. heres the link to that. ill post a link to the vulgate when i can finish up scanning the prose merlin !

anyways mwah feel free to msg me if u have questions im insane and like researching this stuff for hours and am willing to find out any information