#and i had to use this stupid weird little machine yesterday because our actual machine was broken and it almost broke ME

[fingertipsmp3]

On the one hand I refuse to think about work until I’m back on the clock, but on the other hand if those motherfuckers don’t fix the card machine I’m going to drown myself in the bucket

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

[bigskydreaming]

I kinda wanna fucking scream, so here, have a offline bullshit rant post.

So I’ve literally been trying to get my stupid fucking meds for over a MONTH now at this point, which I’m sure you can all see like, my mood is just wooooonderful these days. Not an excuse, casual reminder that yeah you do gotta take care of your own space so if my mood is dragging anyone down, I’m totes on board with blocking or unfollowing or y’know, burning me in effigy or something. Okay maybe not that last part. But still. You get it. And its not even that like, I need mood stabilizers per se, lol, so shout out to the armchair diagnosticians helpfully peppering my inbox still in their quest to oh so slickly be like ‘hey you’re a hot mess, take your hot messness away from tumblr’ like lol, didn’t ask.....nah, its mostly the perpetual lack of sleep and chronic pain issues that I have zero distraction from when my specific combo of meds isn’t able to let me actually weaponize my ADHD properly and power through that. Its a whole thing. Whatever. Just go with it.

POINT IS. So I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now, first obstacle was even just getting the money together for my refill appointment which is a whopping $150, because I have to pay out of pocket for mental health stuff these days because I had to switch my insurance over to something that paid out more heavily for physical benefits like my jaw surgery.....and because of the pandemic, and how many psychiatrists in my area and that I could actually reach aren’t taking new patients during the pandemic since most of them are conducting business virtually still, like, I have barely any resources for seeking out and trying new psychiatrist offices in the meanwhile that might charge less and I’m kinda stuck with the one I have because the last thing I can afford is to have like, NO psychiatrist at the moment, y’know?

So first I had to have that to even BOOK the appointment, which took forever because rent and food are a joy to accrue when you can barely manage to function as an actual employee of the capitalist machine ahfsklhflkahflakf, but so then I did that and like, got an appointment put on the books for August 19th. That was the soonest they could fit me in back when I paid them for my appointment about a week and a half ago. No, two weeks ago now? Eh, time is fake. ANYWAY, so that wasn’t gonna work for me, so basically the entirety of last week was devoted to constantly calling and trying to check in every other hour to see if they had any sooner cancellations I could take, because for whatever fucking reason, they just ‘don’t do’ a cancellation list wherein they call the next person on the list once they have a cancellation. Whatever.

So finally got a cancellation slot with a virtual appointment last Saturday night at random as fuck 8:40. Okay cool. Most of my refills are fairly simple, no real changes, but two are controlled substances so like, they have to do their due diligence and go through the proper protocols before giving me another prescription to one or whatever. Fine. Okay.

So I call the CVS they sent the prescription for my ADHD med to, the very next morning. One of the controlled substances, and the key med to like....making me functional instead of a rambling disjointed whirlibird of a thought emitter. Problem is, that medication is on back order. Won’t be in until Tuesday. Ugh. Okay, fine. Nothing I can do about it, because while the specific provider I spoke to in order to GET my refill prescriptions was taking an appointment the night before, the actual offices that schedule appointments and connect patients through to their providers was closed for the weekend, so I couldn’t even ask for them to send the scrip somewhere else.

SO. I go back to the CVS on Monday, hoping that maybe it came in early because not like I can do much else in the meanwhile. Course its not there, but oh well. I toy with the idea of calling to ask my provider to send the scrip to a different pharmacy (only had it sent to this one cuz its within walking distance to me, and since I can’t drive for medical reasons and Uber’s are expensive as fuck, just for errands, like, even though walking is sooooo not fun for me physically, like it is what it is). I decide against it because here’s another fun fact about this controlled substance....for security reasons, pharmacies don’t have to tell people over the phone if they have it in stock or not. Like, they won’t just say no we don’t have it in stock - I mean, they WILL say that, but that doesn’t actually mean anything because that’s what most of them say about that particular medication no matter whether or not they DO, and then just cite security protocols, so you have to actually GO to the store in question to ask them and even get a real answer to whether or not they even HAVE it in stock to FILL a prescription if its sent over. And no, the provider won’t just send scrips into several different pharmacies at once and just be whichever has it in stock can fill it - because again, controlled substance.

SO. I decide its not worth it to try getting the scrip sent over somewhere else, because I’d have to at least waste money on an Uber to even travel to various pharmacies and even check if they CAN fill it sooner than this one, when at least this place will have it in tomorrow. Its just one more day at this point.

Except then I go back on Tuesday. Oh sorry, don’t know why that other person told you we’d have our order in today, our shipments of that medication don’t come in until Wednesdays.

So I go back Wednesday. Success! They have it in stock. I go to pay, pulling out my goodRx coupon that was just printed out that morning, specifically citing the price for CVS at Target. The pharmacy manager says sorry, we don’t honor that coupon here for controlled substances like this one. I say: record scratch? He’s like yeah, that’s at the discretion of individual pharmacies, and we don’t honor that price for this specific medication, because we don’t want to attract customers only coming here to get that medication filled for that price. (This pharmacy is right at the edge of Inglewood and Culver City, for anyone who is familiar with those neighborhoods. The implications are exactly as they appear to be). So I’m like, what’s the regular generic price? He quotes me something that’s $180 more than the coupon, and thus $180 more than I have since I was focused totally on getting THIS amount ASAP, so I could get these meds so I could do more work and make more money. You see the train of thought. I’m like well that’s awesome, I don’t have anything close to that. Hey. Weird question. Why did nobody I talked to the past three days in a row that I’ve walked into this store in person to request this refill, like, mention this little tidbit about not honoring this coupon so instead of waiting for a backorder that would do me no good, I could have been spending that time having my prescription transferred somewhere that WOULD honor it?

He’s like, well did you mention to any of them that you’d be using a goodRx coupon for this particular medication? I said, yup. He said, you sure? I said well the specific process each time was I came in, I asked if this medication was in, they said what’s your name and date of birth, I provided that info, they said are you paying out of pocket, we don’t have valid insurance info for this on file for you, I said yup paying out of pocket with a goodRx coupon, they said *clickety clack of the keyboard* nope, sorry, we won’t have this medicine in until Tuesday, I mean Wednesday. 

He’s like, well you must be misremembering or they would have told you at the time that we don’t take GoodRx coupons on this medication. I’m like, dude, it was you. It was literally you that I spoke to two of those three times, right here at the counter, in person. I’m gonna go ahead and trust my memory of those interactions and what was said there over yours since you don’t actually remember having talked to me two times in the last three days. He’s like, I gotta go help another customer. There is no other customer. I leave. Fun day for everyone.

So then I call around town to at least check which CVS will actually honor the coupon I have and the price that I can afford to pay it at. I don’t bother asking if they even have the medication in stock because I know its not guaranteed to be a CORRECT answer, but at least I can see who accepts this damn coupon. Also, reason I’m only trying big brand pharmacies instead of smaller, hole in the wall ones is because again, controlled substance, and I know from experience that the bigger brand pharmacies are at least more likely to have that med in stock whereas most smaller ones tend to run out very quickly as they usually only get enough for their existing/regular customers and a little extra.

I find a CVS five miles away - not walkable, gonna have to Uber. Call my psychiatrist office again to ask them to transfer the scrip, front office says they’ll send the request to my provider, who usually checks and fulfills such requests in 24-48 hours. I’m like okay cool, can I get a phone call to let me know when that happens, so at least I know when to check back to follow up if it hasn’t happened yet for whatever reason? They’re like no, the pharmacy will send you a text or call when they get the prescription sent over and you can take it from there with them. I’m like okay, but I’ve done this a bunch of times and know from experience the pharmacy does NOT in fact always call or text, so is there a certain time to follow up to inquire if the provider has already sent the scrip and the pharmacy SHOULD have it by now or if the delay is on the provider’s end? Front office is like yeah no. I’m like, swell.

So that was yesterday. I call the pharmacy (which I still don’t even know if they have the medication IN STOCK to fill the scrip even once they GET the scrip, and won’t until I can actually Uber out there, but one thing at a time at this point) at like 9 pm, they’re a 24 hour pharmacy, and they’re like nope, we got nothing (this is after spending an hour and a half on hold to even TALK to someone at the pharmacy). Called them again today at noon, still nada. Technically I have another 29 hours before the window in which the provider is supposed to send the refill scrip to this new location, before I can be like, okay so they still haven’t done it, can we send him a nudge or another request. The 24-48 hour window will only actually EXPIRE after their offices close on Friday meaning it’ll be Monday before I can even actually REACH someone again to ask them to send the scrip again, if the pharmacy hasn’t ACTUALLY gotten it by Friday night, and pessimistically, I’m not super inclined to assume that they will at this point. 

I’m antsy, irritable, hungry because I don’t even know for SURE sure if the new pharmacy will ACTUALLY honor the coupon or say no sorry we don’t do that here either, whoever told you that was wrong, or if they’ll even actually have it in stock versus I’ll have to have it sent somewhere else AGAIN, so I have to pinch every penny possible in order to ensure I have the most money possible once my prescription IS filled in case the price is more than I expected again or in case I have to take Ubers there or further than I expected or basically....shit happens that I don’t expect. And this is what I’m basically spending all my time doing instead of working, because trying to get work done in this state is like....the harder I try to make it happen, the less it actually gets done, so I try and prioritize this and its roadblock after roadblock dragging out and wasting my time, and like yeah, I can post and shit while I’m doing this aka sitting on hold or walking around town trying to get shit filled because its fine if I ramble incoherently along the way in posts, but actual WORK work requires like....fucking coherency and succinctness and not having to stop and start every five minutes to call someone else, and oh yeah, being able to power through migraine spikes. And just.

I’m very annoyed about anything and everything to do with this shit. The hoops you have to jump through to even get the stuff that like....actualizes your hoop jumping ability, is just....*gnashing of teeth*

Anyway. So that’s my offline bullshit rant. Yay. The end.

[mitts2002]

Aight’ Bet

Hi this is my first time posting on here so I hope whoever is reading this enjoys!! This is a noritoshi kamo x reader where the nori and (Y/N) need a little push from their wonderful Gojo sensei to finally confess~

"Dont you think (Y/N) and noritoshi would make the cutest couple!?" Gojo screamed over the phone to Utahime who sighed in response.

"I can't help but disagree Gojo, Noritoshi doesn't seem ready for a relationship plus is the only reason you rang me really to discuss our students non existent love lives?" Utahime retorted knowing that the couple would in fact be adorable yet refusing to accept that Gojo could actually be right about something.

"No Utahime! I bet if them two were able to spend a few hours together the tension would build up so high that one of them would burst and BAM a couple would be born" the blue eyed male replied, the volume of his voice increasing with each word trying to convince her that they were the highschool sweethearts the jujustu world needed.

“How could you even say that!? I get that its cute whenever they glance at each other and shy away with cute little blushing cheeks but i bet it would take more than a few hours for a whole relationship to-” “OH you bet“ Gojo interrupted an obvious smirk on his face knowing Utahime wouldn’t back down from his advances.

“you know what i meant idiot i wasn’t actually trying to make a bet with you especially after what happened last time” the black haired woman scoffed after hearing a chuckle through the phone.

“Aight’ bet! tomorrow ill bring my second years to kyoto for some training and then lets see if something happens between our precious students“ Gojo proposed excitedly as if he were a child in a sweet shop.

“you know what fine! and im only agreeing cause i know nothings gonna happen tomorrow between them i mean noritoshi is too stiff and (Y/N) always backs out last minute” utahime exclaimed not wanting to prove Gojo right. “GREAT! if i win then you will have to be my slave for 2 whole days and if you win ill be your-” “wait i never agreed to that!” “see ya tomorrow then!” Gojo had quickly rushed his farewells before hanging up relieved he avoided Utahime’s lecture.

"Alright class!" Gojo sensei yelled excitingly as he burst through the doors. This overgrown man child always had something new, it could never be a regular class where his students actually learn then were let out for a break. No Gojo Satorou had to be the most extra male on this earth and for the first time ever it worked in his second year student (Y/N)'s favour.

"What it is now?" Maki groaned with an annoyed expression on her face. No one could blame her though after all the blindfolded man put his beloved students through. "Don't be so sour maki! Be like me a sweet little mochi~ Oh and before I forget I wanted to let you all know that we will meeting with our lovely sister school for some training. Isnt that great!?" Gojo sensei had announced clapping his hands and smiling brightly.

'I wonder if training is all this is' (Y/N) thought to herself realising how sus this situation was before speaking out "wait Gojo sensei weren't we meant to learn a super secret technique today? You said that you were gonna show it us yesterday and that nothing could stop you" (Y/N) questioned as Inumaki gave a little "shake" for support.

"Well my dear (Y/N) something VERY important has come up and we must go to kyoto immediately. You have no right to deny and we will be leaving in 30 minutes so go grab whatever you kids need" Gojo sensei had practically sung before skipping out the door. What an odd man everyone collectively thought before getting up to grab whatever they needed.

30 minutes has passed and in that time panda had gathered his and maki's weapons while you and toge stocked up on cough medicine and basic medical equipment. The journey was short since Gojo had practically teleported you all there and all that was left was to approach the students.

A few figures from the distance were slowly coming into view and (Y/N) could vaguely make out that only utahime, miwa, mai, momo and noritoshi had attended this last minute joint training.

Despite the others reaching and gathering around your small group of second years giving their greetings the only thing your eyes could focus on was noritoshi’s thick black hair as it gently swayed in the breeze. Honestly it was as if the man was in a L'Oréal advert or something.

"(Y/N) stop staring we all know you both have this weird thing going on but we're here to train not flirt dumbass" Maki had whispered into your ear but little did she know that you were in fact here to flirt and not train due to a certain bet between two teachers.

“alright kids listen up! me and the wonderful Utahime sensei have set up this last minute training as its always good to train with new people and techniques. Everyone will be working in pairs“ Gojo announced before Utahime continued.

“The teams we decided on today will be Maki and Miwa, Momo and Imumaki, Panda and Mai then (Y/N) and Noritoshi. Eveyones free to do whatever they want in their sparring matches just don’t severely injure each other, me and Gojo will be watching over the matches and determine the winners“ Utahime informed all the students before they scurried off to in different spaced out areas.

"So Noritoshi how are you? Its been a while since we've last seen eachother" (Y/N) said trying not to let her nervousness show.

"I'm alright just studying and training to be honest. Although I recently started to practice cursive and can even write my own name now" he responded with pride and a small nice.

You laughed causing Noritoshi to cock his head to the side in confusion. "Is there something wrong with cursive?" His deep voice asked with clear offense.

"No no it's just that's so freaking cute and you look so happy about it too" (Y/N) teased with more laughter and ruffled his hair

"Oi don't touch my hair do you know how long it takes to do these wrap bang things?"

"Well how would I know I've never done them nori"

"Well one day I could teach you if you'd like" Noritoshi offered looking to the side trying to hide his red cheeks.

"Aww I'd love that I'm awful at doing hair to be honest so learning some new styles would be great but first we gotta get this dumb sparring match over and done with" (Y/N) moaned as she got into position.

_______________________________

An hour had flew by and the students were taking a break from their matches happily chatting away while the teachers spoke in private about their progress. “come on look at the way they look at eachother OH (Y/N) touched his shoulder SHES FLIRTIN-” “GOJO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR SO DAMN LOUD” “sorry but loooook they in love” Gojo cried out with fake tears in his cerulean eyes

“Alright lets just observe look theyre going to the vending machine to get some drinks like FRIENDS DO“ Utahime emphasised on the friends worried she might lose and become this awful mans slave for 2 days.

_______________________________

“Nori im gonna go get a drink from the vending machine do you want one?” “Actually ill just come with you if you dont mind” “OH sure thats fine does anyone else want anything!?” (Y/N) yelled to the whole group receiving a choir of get me this please or get me that and the single tuna mayo.

The walk to the vending machine was quiet but a comfortable silence had fallen upon the pair. It was always like this when you were around Noritoshi Kamo. Peaceful. She didnt feel the need to go the extra mile to entertain him or ensure he wasn’t bored in your presence as your playful banter and sarcastic remarks towards one another was enough for the both of you. 

“(Y/N) is it me or have Gojo and Utahime sensei been staring at us more than the others?“ Noritoshi questioned unable to shake off the feeling of being watched. “Um i’m not too sure i havent been really paying attention to anything other than yo-“ Embarrasment washed over (Y/N) as the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

“Is that so?“ Nori smirked slightly as you swore you could drop dead right here in this moment. “No i just meant that” “Meant what?“ Noritoshi interrupted leaning closer as you fumbled through your words

“OH LOOK the vending machine is right there better get those drinks“ You quickly said and scrambled away before Noritoshi could get any closer.

“SEE Nori was too intimidating and (Y/N) ran off despite clearly wanting him! its never gonna happen today“ Utahime whispered to Gojo benhind the bushes as he shook his head. “Trust me i have faith in my wonderful (Y/N) I AINT RAISED NO BITCH“ He exclaimed in response while Utahime facepalmed.

The two young adults had collected all the drinks they needed and were ready to walk back to the group. ‘come on (Y/N) you’ve liked this man forever now and everyone knows he must like you back ITS NOW OR NEVER HOE’ (Y/N) screamed words of encouragement to herself before grabbing Noritoshi’s sleeve.

“Is everything alright (Y/N)?” “I have something ive been meaning to tell you Nori, I um like you a lot and i’d like to take you out if you dont mind” (Y/N) had practically yelled at the poor boy because of her stupid nerves and adrenaline.

The silence was broken by an angelic laughter coming from none other than Noritoshi Kamo. “Well i would’ve liked to be the one to take you out but i guess sometimes its alright for traditions and stereotypes to be broken by the younger generation” Nori responded as he walked closer to (Y/N) wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a sweet kiss. The kiss was messy and clearly new to the both but filled with much love and passion that was finally being expressed by the pair.

As their lips eventually pulled away never wanting this to end, heavy breaths filled the air and cheeks flushed but all that was interrupted by a white haired male clapping in the background screaming “YES I WIN” while the other teacher crouched to the ground tears in her eyes.

[supercorpkid]

This is why you don't socialize.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 2780.

“You know we just have to make, like, a volcano or something stupid like that, right?” Jamie asks you while you two walk to L Corp after school.

“I know, but what’s the fun in that?” You stop at a street food truck to buy something. “Do you want one?” Jamie agrees with her head. “Can I have five hot dogs, please?”

“I don’t want to have fun. It’s a school science fair. Normal people make potato clocks.” Jamie goes back to the subject and you agree with your head.

“Normal people can’t make robot dogs or a time machine.” You wink at her then goes back to pay for the hot dogs. “Thank you.” You give her one and you two resume walking. “Come on, we can make anything you can imagine. And we have an entire lab for that, so think big. Bigger than you’ve ever thought.”

“Fine, ok.” Jamie is still in the first bite of her hot dog and you already ate two. “How about we make a mind reader?”

“Ok.” It’s actually not a bad idea. It will make things easier for you because of the thought blocker.

“What’s going on here? Is this a field trip or something?” Jamie asks looking at five people in the lobby that look way too young to work there. But they are wearing lab coats and they all have IDs.

“I don’t know.” You mumble and look at the receptionist. “Hey Aly, I brought my cousin with me today. Did mom hire some new people?”

“Yes, those are the new interns.” Aly points and you agree with your head. You make your way inside so you can go to the labs, when you see that Jamie is not following you.

“Jamie! Let’s go!” You yell and she finally looks back at you. She follows you to the elevator and as soon as the doors close and you two are alone she starts talking.

“That intern with the blue shirt is way too cute.” She says and you roll your eyes. “Honestly, you never help me with anything. You are practically the boss here. You could just go and make him hang out with me or something.”

“You’re crazy. I don’t even work here.” You say opening the door to your lab and she looks inside.

“You don’t work here and yet you have this lab all to yourself.” She rolls her eyes, throwing her backpack close to yours and walking to one of the computers. “Come on, little Danvers, you’re going to have your fun with this project, let me have my fun.”

“Ok, fine.” You agree with your head. And make your way back to the door. “Don’t break anything. I’ll be right back.”

You go to the lobby again. You’re not sure what you’re going to say, but you know you have to try something or Jamie won’t let you work on your project for the science fair. You get close to the interns and you don’t even have to introduce yourself, because all of them know exactly who you are.

“Oh my God, you’re Lena Luthor’s daughter.” One girl says and you smile embarrassed. “Your mom is a legend! Are you smart like her?”

“Not like her. So, um, what are your names?” You ask and they all introduce themselves. The guy Jamie was looking is called Luke. “Ok, do you all have assignments?”

“Get coffee, don’t touch anything you can break, and try to learn something.” The five of them say almost at the same time and you laugh.

“Great! Oh, um, Luke right?” You point at him and he agrees with his head. “I could use some muscles at my lab, if you don’t mind helping?”

“Oh no, not at all!” He says and you wave goodbye to the others and go back to the elevator with him on your tail. “So, you have your own lab?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“You must be pretty smart then.” Luke gives you a smile and you shrug as your answer. You don’t say anything else. “So, what are you making?”

“Oh, my cousin and I have to work on something for the school science fair.” The elevator doors open and you make your way to the lab. “I think you’re going to like her, actually.”

“Oh, really? Why is that?”

“She’s pretty.” You smile and he laughs like he can’t believe you just said that.

“Well, if she is anything like you.”

You squint your eyes at him. Poor thing, thinks flattery will get him places. Honestly Jamie can do much better.

“Ok, here we are.” You walk in and Jamie stands up quickly to greet him. “Jamie, Luke. Luke, Jamie.”

It’s a confusion of ‘hey’, ‘hi’, ‘hello’ and ‘how are you?’ after that and you just wait until they’re both done smiling and flirting.

“So, you mentioned you needed muscles?” He turns back at you and you agree.

“That box is kind of heavy, and we’re just two weak little girls.” You say ironically, and you look at Jamie who hides a smile. He picks up the box and puts in the middle of your table. After that you just focus on work while they talk and kind of flirt with each other.

You’re almost done with the math when Luke goes to your side to see what you’re working on. Apparently, they already ran out of things to say. You try to explain to him what you’re doing, but you find out he is majoring in chemistry, so this is not really his area of expertise.

“Hey girls!” Lena opens the door to your lab, making Luke jump on his seat and Jamie scream in surprise. “Did I come in at a bad time?” She looks at you, then she arches her brow to the boy next to you. You haven’t seen this look too many times, but Lena looks like she is really suspicious. You shrug.

“We’re just working on the science fair project.” You explain and she comes closer.

“And you are?” Lena asks Luke, while staring him right into his soul. You roll your eyes thinking this is very lame and unnecessary.

“Luke! I mean, I-I work here? As an intern? I was just hired.” He says visibly scared, and you hear his heartbeat going crazy. Lena doesn’t answer, so he adds. “Please, don’t fire me.”

“Fire you?” She gives him a smirk. “Why would I fire you? I don’t believe you were doing anything wrong.” Her face goes back to a frown. “Were you, Luke?”

“No! No ma’am. Not at all.” He stands up from the chair. “I should-I have to go!” He stumbles his way to the door. “Nice to meet you, girls.”

“Goodbye Luke.” Lena is the one who answers and you look at Jamie whose eyes are as big as they can get. Lena goes back to you when the door closes behind him. “What was an intern doing here?”

“He came to help with the box.” Jamie says pointing at the box in front of her. “It was heavy.”

“Heavy?” Lena smirks again. “You mean to tell me that, that scrawny looking boy could carry this box, and my half Kryptonian daughter couldn’t?”

Jamie doesn’t answer. You also don’t say anything and Lena seems to understand that it had nothing to do with the box. She doesn’t push any further. She asks what you are working on, and helps you a little. But Lena can’t stay long, she lets you and Jamie work and go back to her own work.

“Do you think she will fire him?” Jamie asks you after Lena leaves and you shake your head.

“No, of course not.” You grab a few things inside the box. “Ok, let's put this together quickly, I’m hungry.”

“I’ve known you for sixteen years, and I’ve never seen you not hungry.” She laughs and you stick your tongue out at her. “Just don’t go so fast, if you finish today, we won’t have a reason to come here tomorrow.”

“It’s my lab, I always have a reason to come here.” You furrow your brows and Jamie rolls her eyes.

“My God, you’ll be single forever.” She takes the prototype out of your hands and makes her way to the door. “Come on, let’s go eat something. We’ll work on that later.”

You follow her because one: in your life you’ve learned not to argue with Jamie when she has an idea, and two: you can’t say no to food.

The next day, Jamie insists on cancelling the training with Alex, and her excuse is that you guys couldn’t finish the project on the day before. It’s true, you didn’t finish, because she didn’t let you, but you know she is making things a little harder than they actually are, just so she can go back to L Corp and see Luke.

You are not even inside L Corp yet when you see him. He was on a coffee run, judging by the number of cups he is currently balancing on his hands.

“Hi Luke.” Jamie puts her hair behind her ear, and uses her sweet voice.

“Oh. Hi. Hey.” He looks up like he is looking for something and you mimic his actions.

“You ok in there? Did you lose something in the sky?” You ask with a smile and he looks back to you.

“No! Nothing. I should really get going to give these to-well, yeah, um.” He nods. “Ok, bye.”

“Wow, your mom really scared him yesterday, didn’t she?” Jamie says furrowing her brows and you shake your head agreeing.

“C’mon. We have a lot to do.” You go to your lab and start working again. Jamie is “helping”. You gave her the shell and she is painting it to make it more stylish, or whatever. With your superspeed is a lot easier finishing things in record time. “Ok, I think I’m done. Do you want to try it?”

“Sure. Do it on me.” Jamie looks at you and you point the device at her, you put one earphone and turn it on. “God, I sure hope this works, I don’t want to have to do a volcano by myself like a five-year-old.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t.” You look at her and smile. “It works.”

“No way!” Jamie jumps excitedly, snatching it out of your hands. “Let me try.”

“It works. It always works. Should we get celebratory donuts?”

“Oh, dear God, stop thinking about food.” Jamie makes her way to the door. “Come on, let’s see what other people are thinking.”

“I don’t think this is appropriated.” You say following her.

“Then why would we even make this in the first place?” You can’t disagree with that, so you go to the lobby, and both you and Jamie take turns listening to other people’s thoughts and laughing.

“Hey, hey. Luke is over there. Go listen to his thoughts.”

“No. I have to see if he agrees to it first. Wait.” You go to him. “Hey Luke, our device is ready, can I test it on you?”

“What-You-I-ON ME?.” He freezes with his eyes wide open, and you furrow your brows. “Ok-No-Yeah-Ok.”

“Ok, you’re being really weird, Luke.” You say and you point your device at his face. “Just stand still and I’ll see if it works.”

It works. You know it works. You’ve tested with everyone on L Corp already, but Jamie needs to know if he likes her, so you have to do this. You turn on, and hear his thoughts loud as if he was saying them to you.

“Oh God, oh God. I don’t know what to do. If I stay here and Mrs. Luthor sees me with her daughter, she might fire me. But if her daughter tells her mom I didn’t want to help, she can also fire me. Or worse, she can ask Supergirl to follow me again. Supergirl won’t kill me, will she? No. The Supers don’t kill. She just might fly me to the other side of the Earth and leave me there. Shit, oh shit. I hope this device doesn’t work.”

“Weird.” You look at him pretending you’re not shocked with all the revelations. “I don’t think it’s working. I have to check my math. Thanks for your help, Luke!”

“Yeah, sure!” He squeaks looking relieved and you march into the elevator, but instead of going to the last floor down, you go to the last floor up. You lower your glasses and you see Lena is in her office alone, working on her computer.

“Hey, mom!” You open the door before her assistant announces you.

“Oh, hey babygirl.” She smiles at you and stops typing. “Weird seeing you up here these days.”

“I know. We usually meet downstairs.” You sit on the chair in front of her. “So, where do you usually intimidate people? Downstairs or here in your office?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You threatened to fire Luke if he went around me again.” You point out with a smile.

“I did no such thing.” Lena crosses her arms, crosses her legs, and stares back at you with her most serious expressions. You two have a staring contest for a few seconds. You squint your eyes at her. She mimics you right after. You give her a little nod.

“Oh, this?” You point at the device on your hands. “I’m glad you’ve noticed. This is a mind reader. A simple variation of the unwelcome thought blocker. You see, I only had to change a few variables here and there. It’s for the school science fair.” You smile pointing the device at her. “Jamie’s idea, actually. And it works perfectly, wouldn’t you know.”

“Don’t you dare.” Lena says when she sees your mischievous smile and your finger hovering the power button.

“Then don’t lie.” You don’t lower the device until she sighs, looking defeated.

“I simply pointed out that you’re too young. He is a college student, much too old for you!” She says, breaking her CEO pose, and going into mom mode.

“And because of that you had momma follow him around National City.”

“I did not!” Lena defends herself immediately and you squint your eyes, not believing. “I told your momma that there was a guy at your lab, and she made the decision to follow him, herself. Not my fault she wanted to see for herself.”

“Why?”

Lena doesn’t answer, but you don’t need much to deduct it alone. You throw yourself back in the chair, feeling outraged.

“You think I like him.” You say matter-of-factly, but you expect her to deny this information anyway.

But she doesn’t. She doesn’t confirm nor deny, but her silence says too much. You can see it in her face. It’s absurd.

“You do! Dear Rao, you think I like him! And momma thinks that too.” You cross your arms to show her how upset you’re with this information. She looks at you posture, acknowledging it.

“And you don’t?” A single eyebrow is raised and you laugh.

“Don’t give me the eyebrow, young lady.” You try to mimic her tone of voice, and she smiles at that. “And I don’t. For your information is Jamie who likes him. She is the one who made me invite him to the lab, and she’s the one who’s making me pretend I couldn’t have finished the device in a day, so she can come back here to flirt.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah! That means you and Supergirl just terrified a boy for no reason!” You laugh at her, who looks way too worried to laugh with you, well aware of the fact that he is probably really terrified right now. “I can’t believe you and momma thought I liked him. Rao, you two think too little of me.” You stand up and make your way to the door. “That scrawny looking boy, really?”

“Well, in my defense…” Lena says and you wait by the door for what she has to say for herself. A few seconds go by with no defense, and you can see she’s working very hard on an excuse. “I have none.”

“Yeah you don’t.” You laugh, feeling proud of finally leaving your mom wordless. “Next time, maybe just ask me?”

“Sorry. I think we just got a little jealous.” Lena says, making you roll your eyes.

“A little? Supergirl literally followed him around the city.” You want to seem upset, but you actually laugh at that. “I’m not saying it isn’t hilarious, just unnecessary.”

It’s hilarious and kind of cute, but you’re not going to let them know that, in case they decide to do it again any time soon.

[vanillann]

within the vision (bucky barnes x f.reader)

a/n: i’m going to be naming each chapter based on a sitcom from that time era, cause i can!! also i’m so glad everyone liked the prologue!!

warning: WANDAVISION SPOILERS, swearing, suggestive language, talks of past trauma, AU

word count: 1.9k

within the vision masterlist

Chapter 1: Born Yesterday 

“Do you remember everything we just went over?”

I rolled my eyes, snapping the silver bracelet on my wrist, the little charm would be normal to anyone else but Bucky and I knew the content.

“No, I forgot everything,” I turned to Tony, smiling sarcastically when he frowned.

“We should have given you up for adoption,” Tony titled his head, the tiniest smile on his lips and he played with the technology again.

The room felt packed with people, Tony and Bruce running around the technology, Bucky and I waiting beside two beds that were shoved beside Wanda’s, and Steve and Sam leaned against the wall trying to tell me to stop with this plan.

“We don’t know what could happen,” Steve repeated again, his arms crossed as Tony gave Bucky his bracelet, thicker than mine but still normal enough to not have anyone question it.

We had taken extra steps to ensure our safety as nobody knew exactly where we were going.

“You both need to get out as soon as the mission's over,” Bruce nodded, to both of us. His finger danced across the different screen, Tony and himself were the only ones who understood it.

“I was planning on going on a walk before I came back.” Bruce rolled his eyes, but gave me a hint of a smile. He understood my defense mechanism, one of the few people who never got mad when I couldn’t be completely serious. One plus for anger management classes.

“I regret doing this already,” Bucky spoke under his breath, looking up to Sam who gave a fake thumbs up.

“If it comes down to it, leave Bucky,” he responded, earning a thumbs up from me.

“I hate both of you.”

Bucky and I both laid in our own bed, our combat gear already on as we laid back slightly, Tony taking Bucky's side while Bruce came to mine.

“We’re going to first hook you to this machine to keep track of your vitals,” I said nothing, watching Bruce shove the IV in my arm and playing with the machine a bit to make sure everything was okay.

“Next, on the count of three you’ll press the button on the bracelet. Remember you need to keep your mind focused on Wanda for this to work,” Tony continues with his run on sentence, only stopping once Bucky and I both nodded once.

I felt the chill suddenly run up my body, suddenly nervous to just hind out in my best friend's mind. Especially since she had always been younger than me, I felt weirdly awkward now.

“Are you both sure about this?”

I saw Bucky nodded slightly from the bed beside me, suddenly all eyes on me. I felt myself shift in the bed, avoiding eye contact.

“(Y/N)?”

“I’m fine, I just need a second,” I spoke after Steve, smiling at his worried glares but said nothing else of it.

You were doing this for her own good, you were helping her. This wasn’t you reading her diary after teasing about her crush, this was her turning into herself not knowing we were waiting for her.

“I’m good,” I laid down on the bed, not looking at anyone as my other hand searched for the button. I wasn’t going to mess this up cause I couldn’t find a button.

“Okay, remember to stay safe and think about Wanda.”

I nodded lightly, trying my best to zone in on Wanda while Tony’s count down filled the room.

“One.”

I thought back to young Wanda and Pietro trying to hide my shoes before one of my first dates when I was 14.

“Two.”

Wanda giggling in my room at the compound when Steve went on a manhunt for me because I was late for practice.

“Three.”

I felt my finger smash the button, thinking of Wanda’s face as she held off Thanos with Vision life in her hand. I thought of her tearful face as she gave me one last glance before everything blew up before my body was smashed against the nearby tree.

The weird feeling around me gave me a stomach ache. The feeling of falling when you were about to sleep almost, but my eyes refused to open as the wind rushed past me. I wanted to panic, to pull myself from whatever I walked into, but I simply couldn’t.

I couldn't sense anyone around me, my body was all alone falling and I couldn’t stop it. I was a controlled person, I enjoyed control and suddenly that word didn’t even exist anymore.

Then it stopped, the falling was gone and my eyes were pushed open. My body was moved differently, pushed against something. When I slowly moved around I noticed the slight dusk of the sky.

“(Y/N)?” My name whispered filled the same space I sat in, I looked around trying to get my brain to focus on one thing. I felt something cold against my wrist cause me to jump, pushing harder into the rough back.

I looked down, Bucky's face laid under whatever I was sitting on. I looked up, noticing the windows and the steering wheel slightly ahead of me. I took in the leather under my fingers, seeing there wasn’t a door handle in the back and how low the roof was.

But that didn't worry me, what worried me was I couldn’t make out any other colors besides black, white, and grey. I looked to Bucky, hoping to see the light pale skin on his face but was met with white, almost like a white crayon that had been run in black dust lightly.

“Where the hell are we?”

“Wanda’s head, I thought this was your plan,” Bucky slowly sat up from the floor of the backseat, I had luckily ended up on the actual seat. I looked out, hoping to see the colors of the sky but I was met with the same grey color.

“Can you see color?”

“Can’t say I do,” Bucky rubbed his arm, slowly moving to sit in the same space I had made for him on the seat.

I finally looked around the rest of the area, noticing the row of houses and other such things. The trees and bushes reminded me of the old movie Steve would make us watch, looking like something out of a sitcom.

“What are you wearing?”

I frowned as I looked at Bucky, his eyes held confusion as he looked me up and down once. I looked down at myself, shocked to find myself in a dress, definitely not my combat gear. The material was dark, I couldn’t tell more, and a fake belt was sowed into the thick fabric.

“I haven’t seen one of those in awhile,” Bucky picked up a piece of the dress at the end, rubbing the material between his fingers when I slapped it from his wands. That when I heard it, laughing. Not like you told a funny joke laughing, like a sitcom laugh.

I pointed to Bucky, my eyes wide as I waited for who knew what. When I saw Bucky slowly look up at me from the place he looked at my dress I knew he heard it. That's when I noticed the suit he was wearing, specifically an older looking arm suit. I looked back around the car, spotting the matching hat to the suit on the dash of the car. I didn’t say anything, slowly reaching up to grab it when I saw a door open.

A lady with dark hair and bright smiles walked out, held a hand slightly in the air if she were to hold a cigarette but no smoke came out. She was talking to someone, whoever was in the house. Suddenly I watched the owner lean out slightly, my jaw going slack as I saw Wanda’s bright smile hides behind loopy curls.

“Doll-”

“Don’t call me that,” I spoke softly, doing my best to keep the facade up but I was so shocked, Wanda was lightly pushing the woman out the house, almost as if begging her to leave with a little laugh. She looked the same, only dressed up similar to me.

“You’re going to want to see this,” he tugged on my dress, my hand slapping it away again but he yanked hard. He sent me flying to the back seat of the car. my side pushed into his with a loud oof.

I heard that stupid sitcom laugh again, trying to push it to the make of my mind as I pushed away from Bucky. I hit him in the side with the hat I had managed to take back with me, my mouth wide open to yell but Bucky shoved something in my face.

I could spot the coke logo from miles away, only it wasn’t the saem logo I had always remembered. The bottles were glass and the writing looked much more vintage. That when I noticed Bucky tapping on a part of the label, my eyes reading over the information their.

Expiration date: July 6th, 1953

“1953?” I looked around the neighborhood again, suddenly realizing the vintage cars that were parked along the streets and the dress that hung off my frame.

“How?”

“I don't hear you asking how we ended up in the wrong decade,” My voice was stern as he spoke, watching the dark haired lady finally leave Wanda’s porch and go to her own house close by.

“Not the time,” Bucky finally sat up slightly, watching the lady walk in her house.

“When is the time then? Maybe the 70s or do you wanna wait til the 90s,” I snapped, looking over my shoulder with a pout. His face was so close to me, I finally noticed his once long hair was cut short.

He looked like he had in those photos of Steve and himself, back from the 40s.

“Well, what do we do know?” Bucky looked at me, his nose almost hitting mine when he turned but I had slightly moved back.

“I guess blend it?” I shrugged, hearing that stupid sitcom laugh that I wanted ro punch in the face.

“How do you suppose we do that?”

I looked around the neighborhood, smiling when I noticed the house across from Wanda’s had a large “FOR SALE” sign standing in the front yard.

“Break into that house and act like we belong here,” I smirked, ignoring Bucky as I slowly climbed into the front seat of the car. I heard Bucky yell out about me kicking him but I didn’t care as I made it to the driver seat, pushing open the door.

“For your information, I do belong here,” were the last words I heard from Bucky before I closed the door, smiling over at the house and trying to keep my voice low to not attract wandering eyes. I stood in the same place for a second, suddenly my view changed from house to concrete. I felt a little bump on my backside and frown when I heard Bucky laugh.

“Should’ve held the door,” I noticed his combat boots beside my face. Normally I would have bought him down with me but I decided it would bring too much attention and simply pushed myself from the ground.

“I hate you,” I frowned, slamming my foot into the road when I heard that stupid laugh sound around me again.

“Okay okay,” Bucky held out two arms from me, trying his best to calm me down but it wasn’t any use, I simply pointed to the sign, turning back to look at Bucky with a serious look in my eye.

“We are stealing that sign and moving to that house.”

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<prologue - chapter 2>

[samirant]

Hi! I just finished reading Backpfei... again (it was awesome 😍😍😍😍) and I was wondering if you had any headcanons for what happens next, especially everyone's reactions when they find out about JB's relationship 🥰🥰🤣🤣🤗🤗🤗

:D I do, indeed, have headcanons and I’ve played with the idea of writing something out and this message gave me the impetus to do it, so thank you!

Tagging @brynnmck for funsies

Backpfeifengesicht: Ten Minutes Later

Margaery: JOY

Margaery: JOY HILL ANDWER YIIR PHONE

Renly: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY

Margaery: I CANT BELIEVE SHE IS MISSING THIS. JOY!!!

Renly: SEND IT TO HER

Margaery: I can’t just send it! This requires preparation we aren’t there to catch her if she falls over

Margaery: Think of the children!

Margaery: JOY

Margaery: EITHER PUT ROSALIND DOWN OR HOLD HER REALLY TIGHTLY BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN

Renly: shes not kidding joy

Renly: gird yourself 😱

Sansa: Okay with the hysterics. Calm down, for sevens sake. 

Margaery: SANSA DONT THINK INDIDNT NOTICE YOU NOT FREAKING OUT

Margaery: HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME

Sansa: Margaery, I’m sitting right next to you, just speak to me. 

Renly: SANSA KNEW??????

Sansa: I’m right here. In person.

Sansa: And we were a little distracted, in case you don’t remember.

Renly: JACCUSE 😡😡😡😡😡

Joy: Goodness gracious. What in the world is going on?

Margaery: joy!!!!!!!!

Renly: JOY!

Joy: I was setting Rose down for a nap and suddenly my phone went mad. 

Sansa: I am so sorry. 

Renly: YOU BETTER BE 😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬

Sansa: I was speaking to Joy. 

Margaery: joy

Margaery: Joy my love

Margaery: Sit down. 

Joy: I’m becoming concerned. 

Renly: but r you sitting or not???

Joy: I am now. 

Joy: And I’m very concerned. 

Sansa: Don’t be. It’s a very good thing. 

Sansa: These two are just in shock. 

Joy: Margaery? In shock? 

Renly: I KNO RIGHT?!?!

Joy: Renly, less alarming. 

Renly: 😤

Margaery: Without further ado…

Sansa: So much ado. 

Margaery: image.png

Joy: …

Joy: …

Joy: …

Joy: Oh my goodness. 

Renly: RIGHT?!??

Joy: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂😂

Sansa: ?

Joy: Who did that? Tyrion? 

Joy: Jaime? 

Joy: Gods, is this why Brienne punched him? 

Joy: LOL It’s really good!

Sansa: ?????

Renly: 🧐

Margaery: Isnt it absolutely WILD?

Joy: It’s really something. 

Joy: Some of my wedding photos could use touch ups, whoever put that together should give me a hand. 

Joy: That’s hilarious!

Joy: Sorry, Brienne, when you read this, but it’s an excellent mock up.

Renly: …

Sansa: …

Margaery: …

Sansa: Joy. That’s a real picture. 

Renly: TOO REAL

Renly: oh gods i just saw tyrions face

Renly: right there in the corner

Margaery: HAHAHAHA

Margaery: He still looks like that, look at him.

Renly: like hes been smacked on the face with atrout

Joy: You’re joking.

Joy: You must be joking.

Sansa: We definitely are not. 

Joy: But

Joy: No

Margaery: She’s getting it.

Joy: But that’s Jaime and Brienne.

Joy: Kissing. 

Joy: Brienne kissing Jaime.

Joy: My cousin, Jaime.

Renly: do we kno another jaime?

Joy: What?

Joy: WHAT?

Margaery: And now you understand

Joy: WHAT

Sansa: Give her a moment.

Joy: WHAT

Joy: …

Joy: Brienne isn’t answering my texts.

Renly: well yeah shes a little busy

Renly: jaime stole her away

Renly: BECAUSE THEY ARE DATING

Joy: …

Joy: WHAT?

Margaery: Take a seat, take a breath, this is not a drill.

Renly: 🤯

Renly: 🤯🤯🤯

Margaery: Though Sansa APPARENTLY KNEW AND DID NOT BOTHER TO SHARE THE NEW WITH US

Sansa: I didn’t know! Brienne just said something yesterday that made it make sense today.

Joy: But she punched him!

Joy: Like we always warned him she would!

Renly: het mating dances are weird

Sansa: 😑

Sansa: Rude! And not true!

Renly: oh like it matters to you now

Joy: Will someone PLEASE explain this to me? 

Joy: I’m half convinced you’re messing with me because I’m not there. 

Margaery: Definitely not. We’d have Tyrion confirm but he’s refusing to talk to any of us. 

Margaery: Plus: photo evidence

Sansa: OK

Sansa: She did punch him? I think?

Renly: where else would he have gotten the shiners

Sansa: But it seems they’ve been friendly for a while and Jaime’s been visiting her in KL.

Joy: HE HAS?

Sansa: He says they’ve been dating for at least six months.

Margaery: Brienne says six hours.

Sansa: I’d say it’s somewhere in the middle of that.

Renly: with punches 

Joy: I… I am flabbergasted.

Joy: But that sounds exactly like Jaime.

Joy: And Brienne.

Margaery: ANYWAY

Margaery: This morning we were teasing Jaime, it seemed deserved

Renly: overdue

Margaery: And we joked about how he’d have to make it up to her, whatever he did

Sansa: He probably still does.

Margaery: And HE said that maybe Brienne should kiss it better

Renly: AND SHE DID

Margaery: We laughed about it but then Brienne got up and walk

Margaery: Fucks sake Renly just let me tell the story

Margaery: she walked over and kissed him

Renly: the end 

Renly: 😏

Margaery: 😡

Joy: Just like that?

Sansa: Just like that.

Joy: Then they just dropped the bomb that they’ve been dating for - possibly - months?

Renly: hours

Margaery: It’s all very amorphous 

Margaery: But yes

Margaery: They’re dating

Joy: Wow.

Joy: Wooooooow.

Joy: OMG!

Joy: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Joy: JAIME AND BRIENNE!!!

Sansa: It’s very cute. They are so cute. 

Renly: WEIRD

Margaery: Very weird and also very cute

Joy: I’m still processing!

Joy: Gods, I should have known. He mentions her all. The. Time.

Renly: and brienne was a vault

Renly: until this morning

Renly: and perhaps last night

Sansa: Renly.

Renly: tell me im wrong

Renly: if thats not ff hair i dont know what is

Sansa: 😦

Joy: RENLY.

Renly: im not sorry

Joy: You’re never sorry.

Renly: but im consistent

Joy: Very true.

Joy: BRIENNE AND JAIME!!!!!

Joy: 🤩🤩🤩

Renly: they r stupid gross

Renly: n cute

Renly: i admit that

Renly: TYRIONS FACE THO

Joy: Tyrion won’t answer my texts, either.

Renly: he left with tysha

Renly: well he left and she went after him

Renly: very 😵

Renly: i think hesin a fudge

Renly: fugue

Joy: His worldview has been as rocked as ours has. At least you tried to prepare me.

Joy: Brienne, we are going to discuss this. At length. 

Renly: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Joy: What?

Renly: OMH OMG OMG

Sansa: Oh gods.

Renly: IWAS RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

Sansa: Renly NO.

Margaery: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Renly: RENLY YES

Renly: JON JUST WOKE UP

Joy: Jon?

Sansa: RENLY. NO.

Renly: AND SANSA AND MARGIE TOLD HIM WHAT HE MISSED

Joy: Is that Sansa’s boyfriend?

Sansa: Uh.

Renly: AND HE SAID

Renly: HE SAAAAAAAID

Margaery: He said “is that who i heard in the laundry room last night?”

Renly: IS THAT WHO

Renly: MARGAERY

Margaery: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT RENLY HMMMM?

Renly: THUNDER STEALER

Joy: No.

Joy: No way.

Joy: NO WAY!

Renly: IS

Renly: THAT

Renly: WHO

Sansa: Don’t say it again. 

Renly: I 

Sansa: Please. 

Renly: HEARD

Renly: IN

Renly: THE

Sansa: Brienne is going to throttle you.

Renly: LAUNDRY

Renly: ROOM

Renly: LAST

Renly: NIGHT

Margaery: I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care.

Renly: !!!!!!!!!!!!

Sansa: BRIENNE WILL READ THIS ALL EVENTUALLY

Renly: THEN MAYBE SHE SHULDNT HAVE HOOKED UP WITH J ON THE WASHING MACHINE

Joy: 😳🤯

Renly: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU B

Renly: SO PROUD

Margaery: 🤯 indeed

Sansa: Is it hooking up if they’re actually together?

Sansa: Brienne, I’m so sorry, I tried to stop him. 

Renly: its certainly not tender lovin on a cold tile floor

Joy: Renly!

Sansa: Sorry, Tyrion, too. I guess.

Margaery: I can see him outside, he still looks like he’s having an apoplexy

Joy: I think we’re having a collective apoplexy, to be honest.

Joy: Oh goodness gracious.

Joy: Brienne. The laundry room?

Renly: maybe jaime needed a hand

Sansa: Renly, enough.

Renly: never

Margaery: I think Tyrion has his phone in his hand.

Margaery: Oops.

Margaery: waves at Tyrion

Joy: I can’t stop laughing.

Joy: The. Laundry. Room.

Tyrion: I am muting this thread. Effective Immediately. Possibly Forever.

Margaery: Tyrion!

Renly: bang bang bangity bang

Sansa: Stop singing, Renly!

Margaery: I said uh bang bang bangity bang!

Sansa: MARGAERY!

Joy: 🤭🤣

Sansa: Brienne is going to have your heads for this.

Sansa: You saw what she did to Jaime and she’s actually dating him.

Joy: 😍🥰😍😘😍😘😍😘😍🥰🥰🥰🥰

Margaery: shes humming along brienen

Sansa: Lies!

Joy: I… might be humming, too.

Renly: its her own fault

Renly: for the bangityness in the laundry room

Renly: but that seems the theme for the week maybe

Renly: love and banging all around except for poor jon

Joy: That’s right! Who is Jon?

Renly: margie this is the prt where you tell her about you and sansa confessin ur undying love

Joy: ...

Joy: WHAT?

(The end.)

[yoon-kooks]

Love Note | jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, College!AU, a touch of mystery

Summary: When a stray pink notebook falls into your possession, you’re mildly disturbed to find the pages filled with a long list of popular students, their significant others, and how they got together. You can’t imagine what kind of twisted person would keep track of other people’s love affairs to the point of obsession, but you have one clue. The only person listed without a significant other is the campus heartthrob, Jeon Jungkook. It isn’t until after an unlikely conversation is initiated that you begin to piece together the truth behind the boy and the notebook.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: none

A/N: this is loosely based off the manga, death note 🤪

-

Love.

Sometimes you wonder what it takes to catch someone’s attention, to capture the fluttering hearts of those around you, to be loved without trying. You don’t understand. Why is it that average folks like you struggle to have even a single classmate ask for your number while the popular kids have a whole flock of fans vying for their attention? The divide between the popular crowd and everyone else almost feels unfair. The only logical explanation you’ve come to is that some people are blessed and others are cursed.

Cursed. That’s exactly how you feel after picking up an ominous stray notebook in the hallway outside of your psych classroom.

You had found it funny how everyone seemed to step over the notebook as not to trip, but no one thought to pick it up and return it to the owner. So after the rush of students emptied out of the halls, you scooped it up and examined the pink cover for the name of the owner. Instead of a name, you found the phrase “Love Note” written across the cover in black sharpie. You didn’t think anything of it until you flipped the notebook open and saw what you saw.

You should’ve never opened the book. Because now you’re stuck with it.

Your jaw falls until it’s dragging on the floor as you flip through the pages. The pages are all practically fill with the same thing, and it has nothing to do with the lecture you just came out of. In fact, it has nothing to do with school aside from the names of students listed in it.

Kim Seokjin & Park Jiyeon – a serenade with a guitar and cheesy lyrics

Im Nayeon & Kim Taehyung – bonded while failing chem together

Lee Hyeri & Kim Namjoon – partnered up during a marine biology seminar on crustaceans

Jung Hoseok & Min Yoongi – opposites attract

Written in messy columns and rows, you recognize a majority of the names as the popular faces on campus, some of which are in your class. You assume the name paired next to theirs is their significant other because the column after that alludes to how they got together.

You get the feeling you’ve picked up the belonging of some creep and seen something you shouldn’t have seen. Because who the hell would bother keeping tabs on other people’s love affairs. It’s none of their business and it’s certainly none of yours.

Just as you’re about to head toward the lost-and-found, the name at the very bottom of the list catches your eye. Jeon Jungkook. You wouldn’t have even spotted his name amongst the hundreds of others if it weren’t for the blank space next to his. In fact, his name is the only one written without another name next to it. But now that you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it.

You’ve never spoken to the boy personally, but everyone seems to know him. Many of your classmates signed up for your psych class just to be in the same vicinity as him. He’s handsome, funny, smart, and even quite kind from what you’ve heard. He’s the total package that everyone aspires to get a piece of. Even you are a tad curious to know what kind of witchcraft he uses to draw people in so effortlessly.

At the same time, you know your place. He’s popular, and you’re average at best. You’re not the type to approach him like all the other girls begging for his affection. And you know he’d never approach you either. That’s the curse that was bestowed upon you.

If you knew the boy or at least had the guts to talk to him, you’d surely bring the notebook to his attention. Because if your name were written and singled-out in someone’s creepy notebook, you’d want to know, too. You’d want someone to have your back.

That’s the only reason why you’re still holding onto the notebook and not freeing yourself of the burden. If you were to leave it lying around or at the lost-and-found, who’s to say someone else would be willing to do the deed in your stead. From what you witnessed earlier, no one was even willing to pick the notebook up.

So you’ve decided what you’ll do. At the next lecture, you’ll find Jungkook and slip the notebook into his bag without him noticing. In that way, you can rid yourself of the notebook once and for all while also giving the boy a subtle heads-up with what’s being written about him and his popular crowd.

The plan is fool-proof.

-

The next morning, you feel it in your stomach. The feeling of stressing way too much over something so stupid. But you can’t help but fear the thought of getting caught. You’d hate for Jungkook or any classmate to catch you sticking something so suspicious in his bag. What if they get the wrong idea and think you’re the creepy owner of the notebook? You can’t have that.

Still, you do have a sense of duty to uphold. Clutching the notebook in your arms, you walk into the lecture hall with the intention of going through with the plan. You’ll still try to sit behind him or somewhere in his vicinity, and if it seems to risky, you can always do what you do best: chicken out.

Glancing around the lecture hall, you realize you’ve made one fatal mistake. You arrived before Jungkook. Feeling like a goof, you slump into a random aisle seat and toss the pink notebook on the desk. You can’t believe you were worrying so much about getting caught when you couldn’t even execute the first part of the plan.

“Is this seat taken?”

You glance up at a finger pointing to the seat next to yours. The one pointing is none other than the boy you’ve been stressing over for the past 24 hours. How fucking convenient. But you know something’s up. There are plenty of other seats still up for grabs, and yet, he chose to sit right next to you? Unheard of. You figure it must be some sort of joke or bet, but you’ll take it. “No.”

“Cool,” he says, sliding his thighs through the walkway that’s always been too narrow for your liking. His duffle bag surely would have smacked you in the face if you hadn’t leaned back. When he finally settles into his seat, he deadass looks at your desk. “Cute notebook.”

Oh, you suppose that’s code for when a popular guy wants to take a picture of your lecture notes. But that’s too bad for him. “Thanks, but it’s not actually my notebook. I found it in the hallway yesterday and I’m looking for the owner.”

“Why not just bring it to the lost-and-found?” he chuckles. Now that you think about it, it does sound pretty weird, considering you don’t have the slightest clue as to who the notebook belongs to. “Do you at least know who the name of the person you’re looking for?”

“Not exactly,” you shrug. “But I figure it must belong to someone in this class.”

He gestures for you to hand it to him. So you do. All according to plan.

You watch as the boy’s eyes widen at the long list of names in the notebook. It’s only a matter of time before he sees a pattern and finds his own name written there.

“Is your name here too?” He continues to scan the list, page by page.

You shake your head.

“Does that mean you’re available?” The boy pulls out a pen from his backpack and clicks it.

“How’d you come to that conclusion?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Isn’t this like a list of all the couples at our school?”

“That’s what it looks like.”

“Right, right,” he nods, twirling his pen. “By the way, what’s your name?”

“If I tell you, you’re going to write my name in there, aren’t you…?”

“Not necessarily.” He sets the pen down and chuckles at you with a smile. “Sometimes it’s just nice to get acquainted with the people around you. You might be surprised with the kinds of people you’ll meet in that way.”

Ah, there it is. There’s the charm that has everyone swooned.

“It’s Y/N,” you say softly. Half a second later, the boy picks up his pen and starts jotting shit down. “Hey, I thought you weren’t going to write my name down.”

You watch as Jungkook writes your name out next to his along with the description, “had a cute conversation during psych lecture.”

“I’m testing a theory,” he says.

“What theory?”

“What if this isn’t a just a weird kid’s record of couples at our school?”

“What is it then…?”

“A matchmaking machine? Like, if we write down the names of two people and an explanation of how they got together, maybe they’ll suddenly become a couple? Like magic,” he nods. You nod along, though you’re starting to think the boy has a screw loose. “I saw something like this in an anime once.”

“You mean… Death Note…?” Aka the anime where a smartass finds a death god’s notebook that can give people a death sentence just by writing their name down.

“Oh, so you’ve seen it too?”

You nod.

“I guess I’ll let you in on a little secret then.” He gestures for you to come closer. He whispers into your ear, “I’m the one who started the Love Note.”

“You’re the creep who wrote all of this?” you whisper-shout in his ear.

“No, no, no.” He waves his hands in defense. “I just helped get the ball rolling.”

“Please elaborate.” Because you don’t believe him yet.

“A few years back, my friend wanted to get back into dating after a tough breakup. But he didn’t know what kind of a girl he was looking for.” Jungkook flips back to the first page and points to Kim Seokjin’s name right at the very top. “So I took a notebook, wrote Love Note on the cover, wrote Seokjin’s name inside it, hid it somewhere around campus, and left the rest up to fate.”

“Are you saying the girl, Jiyeon, was the one who found the notebook and brought it back to Seokjin?”

“The same way you returned it to me, Y/N,” he nods. “After they got together, they filled out their section of the notebook, tagged another friend, and hid it again for someone else to find. The tradition continued amongst my friends, friends of friends, people I didn’t even know, until it finally found its way back to me.”

You get it now. It isn’t one creepy person’s notebook. It’s not witchcraft or a curse. It’s a curious object passed from person to person to spark a conversation and a potential relationship.

“So who wrote your name in it? And why?” You’d like to think someone like Jungkook doesn’t need a silly notebook to help him find a lover.

“My pal, Jung Hoseok. He said I’ve been looking lonely lately,” the boy says, glancing back at the list of presumably happy couples.

“Lonely despite always being surround by people who adore you?” Sounds ironic, but you think you know what he means.

“They don’t adore me. Just my face,” he sighs. Damn, what a struggle it must be to have a face as handsome as his. “I was hoping whoever found the notebook might adore more than what they see.”

“Sorry, can’t say that I do at the moment.” You use a teasing tone, but you aren’t lying either. What do you know about Jungkook other than the fact that he’s popular with a pretty face? That’s all you’ve ever judged him by. “I’m probably not the person you were hoping for.”

“You are who I was hoping for, Y/N,” he tilts his head when he speaks. “Adoring me is a bonus, but more importantly, I just wanted to meet someone I wouldn’t have otherwise met.”

Someone he wouldn’t have otherwise met? It’s true. The two of you probably wouldn’t be talking if it weren’t for the notebook. “I guess I fit that part of the criteria,” you say.

“Exactly.” He smiles at you as the lecture begins. You suppose only time will tell if you’ll come to also adore the boy as he so hopes.

-

As days, weeks, and even a month pass, you still have the Love Note in your possession. Recently, however, you get the feeling as though that’s about to change.

“Hey, Y/N,” says a familiar voice as a duffle bag claims the seat two spaces down from yours. The owner of the duffle bag follows, stepping into the seat right next to you from the row behind.

“Hello, Mr. I’m-too-cool-to-squeeze-through-the-aisle-like-a-normal-person,” you snicker at your psych buddy. Ever since you discovered Jungkook’s association to the Love Note, he’s made it a point to come find you during lecture. A month ago, you’d been sitting alone, and you’d still be sitting alone if you hadn’t stumbled upon the boy’s pink notebook. So you can’t say you aren’t enraptured by the gesture.

He chuckles at your fancy nickname for him before throwing an arm around your seat. You feel his eyes on you as you casually open the Love Note and scan the list.

“How many of these couples do you think are still together?” you ask, looking up and accidentally catching him staring at your lips. The new lip gloss you bought must be working.

“I’m sure not all of them are,” Jungkook strokes his wise man beard. “But all the people I personally know from the list are still going strong.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“It’s the fate of the Love Note, duh Y/N,” he gives you a cute little pinch on your cheek. “Our names are written there, and we’re still together, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, but we’re not together together… yet.” You try your best to get the boy to take a hint.

“Well, if anything, the Love Note has the power to bring two people together who wouldn’t otherwise be together, right?” he says. “Because of it, I learned I like being around someone who’s honest, open-minded, and adores me for more than just my face.”

You can’t help but smile at his compliment. He’s too sweet for you to handle. “How can you be so sure that I adore more than just your face?”

“Because you’ve put up with me for a whole month,” he chuckles. “And because you sent me a drunk text the other night, confessing your heart out to me.”

“I did what?” You fumble to get your phone out of your bag and check your messages. Was it possible to get so drunk that you don’t even remember getting drunk in the first place?

“I’m kidding, Y/N.” If there’s one thing you learned in the past month, it’s that Jungkook loves to tease you. But if it gets him to smile like that all the time, you don’t mind being a little gullible. “I’m still waiting for a proper confession.”

You look into the boy’s big eyes and then back at the bottom of the list where both of your names are written. “Should we make it official then?”

“I’m already ahead of you.” Clicking his pen, Jungkook adds a tiny little heart to the end of the foreshadowing he had written a month ago. He then writes the name of his single friend Park Jimin on the line below, shuts the notebook, and hands it back to you.

After lecture, Jungkook pulls you by the hand and leads you to the building where Jimin’s class should be ending. As the two of you wait for him to walk out, you feel yourself gravitating more and more to the boy until both of your arms are latched around his. You never realized how much you love the feeling of having someone so close to you.

“Is this the one you’ve been smitten over?” The boy you assume to be Jimin points in your direction. You look to Jungkook for an answer.

“Yes, this is the one,” he says, giving your hand a good squeeze. “Now we just need to find someone special for you.”

“Like who?” Jimin asks. “I can’t seem to keep a relationship for over a week.”

“We might have a solution for you,” Jungkook says as you show the other boy the Love Note. And despite his initial hesitance, Jimin eventually agrees to partake in the tradition after seeing the effect it had on you and his pal.

“Should we leave it here?” you ask Jungkook after saying farewell to Jimin and finding a cozy bench to sit on.

“Are you sure you’re ready to let it go?” He smirks at how you’ve held onto what you had initially thought of as a creepy ass notebook. You nod. “Okay, we’ll leave it here.”

He helps you set it down off to the side, leaning in for what you anticipate to be the first of many kisses between you and him. Just before giving you a taste, however, he stops to examine the sheen over your lips. “Is that new lip gloss?”

You nod, prompting the boy to lean back. “It’s cute,” he says.

For a second, you just blink at him and he blinks back as though he wasn’t about to kiss you. Oh, you get it. He’s teasing you again.

Taking the boy’s hand, you make the bold move yourself, pressing your lips ever so softly against his. Just enough to give him a taste of the gloss you’d picked out with him in mind.

After teasing you some more for being so bold, Jungkook helps you up from the bench as the two of you head home. Leaving the Love Note behind, you understand now that the divide between popular boys like him and average folks like you was never a curse bestowed upon you by fate. Rather, it was up to you to take fate into your own hands and spin it in your favor.

That all began the moment you picked up that pink notebook.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Catch a train': New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'Catch a train'

"You're going to be an wonderful asset !"

Chapter Summary : As Yirina is having an simple discussion, Park informed her that an unexcepted thing happened.......

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3600

------------------------------------------------------------------

After that talk with Mason himself, I can say that I was like more intrigued to see who was his man more further. Our similar stories....getting brainwashed by the each opposite side of the Cold War, both knowing well of what happened to them and their desires to get over it and try to no never think about it. One has been facing that pain since the beginning of the 60's and the other....20 years later. One was allowed to live because he was an full-american, the other was left for dead because she was only seen as an full-russian.

Like he said, me & him are both alike because we're trying to survive in an difficult world as our lifes turned to shit but....it was just more than that. People like us are pawns in an chess game....the Cold War....the CIA with Adler & Hudson are the one controlling those 'pawns' against those used by Perseus or the KGB. We could be MI6, DGSE or BND.....it's always the CIA on top of our heads, ready to sacrifice an pawn if it's necessary to do. They sacrified me...'for the greater good' but by luck, that pawn managed to resist and will maybe try to change everything and to free the people seen as pawns.....my friends & Park....

When I was done with Mason, I returned back to Park who has prepared an little something for me before we walk back to work to our desk with Zasha, trying to intercept any weird communications from the KGB or even Perseus even if I was still an bit troubled with the talk I had with Mason earlier. Anyway, Park was progressing an little into decrypting as she got the big experts in the domain, not to brag ourselves. However, the next transmissions we got were not useful for us and to the others too, meaning that we couldn't know more about Ritter except for an file Greta was able to give us about him.

The others came back from their mission at the end of the afternoon with an success thanks to Garrett's intels about what Woods told us giving them some greats improvements for their mission. As the evening was beginning and after we eat, I decided, before leaving the place to put our hands on Ritter, to grab an coffee for me in the kitchen. The room was empty and it was better as I moved to get to the coffee machine.

"Can we talk, Grigoriev ?" An feminine voice came in the room as my back was turned from the door. I peaked my head to see Song, standing up and looking an bit stressed out.

"Uhm..." I started as I look at her, scratching the back of my head. "Yeah, sure." I fully replied, turning around to face her as she walk to get next to the table without sitting. "You might want an coffee or maybe just to sit down ?" I proposed, putting my eyes for an second on the coffee machine but she shook her head.

"No thanks." She gestured at me before she took a seat right into my direction as I prepare an coffee for only me then & hearing that freaking jackhammer noise coming from the coffee machine.....if only I could threw this machine outside...well, Zed is going to kill me for that.....

"So..." I began again as I took my mug filled with coffee to walk to the table, sitting on another chair facing Song. "What do you want to talk about ?" I asked once I was sit.

"Well, I wanted to...apologize." She responded, crossing her arms an bit uncomfortable to talk about it. "Apologize about what happened yesterday night." She added as I was taking an sip from the hot coffee, drinking an half of it to be exact.

"That ?" I exclaimed, the cup in my right hand, looking at her. "You couldn't know about it."

"Maybe but it was like I was forcing to give you that injection to be honest." She breathed, looking away for an second from me.

"I told you, Song. You couldn't know." I repeated again, sure of my words as I drink....it wasn't her fault and she was only making her duty to try to heal me. I have nothing against her. "We don't need to talk about this....or maybe what Garrett told about you." I suggested, knowing that Garrett was aware of my brainwashing as Park told him years ago.

"You're sure ?" She chuckled, having guessed of what I was talking about.

"Yes." I whispered to her directly, launching an weird silence in the room during 2 minutes as I was drinking my coffee and her, not moving at all from. It was akward and I was hoping for someone to get inside the room and start another conversation but nothing...."How's things with Garrett ?" I was the one to launch another discussion, asking this like that to her as I put my empty cup down, having finishing it in the two long minutes.

"Oh, that's nice." She answered with an smile, no more looking stressed or bad towards me. "Gonna say that I was pretty happy to see him back after an month to not be able to be at his side." She added, sounding more good.

"We can say that some weren't so pleaded to hear you during an night." I scoffed about it, making an little laugh as I could see her blush from that.

"I wasn't so loud." She exclaimed, her voice cracking in an funny voice.

"Not what the others says." I continued to laugh as I could see her roll her eyes to me before laughing an little too. "At least, you're happy to be sure."

"Of course." She admitted, putting her arms on the table but as she was going to continue to speak as I could see her mouth open an little, knocks at the kitchen door interrupted her.

"Park ?" I said as I turned around to see her standing outside the room and having her hand on the door frame, she was looking an bit nervous to say.

"You might need to come." She started, removing her hand from the frame. "We may have an little problem with Lukas Ritter." She added and by hearing that, I quickly got up from my chair, putting back the cup on the counter before I left the kitchen, Park awaiting for me outside. "Zasha just got an transmission out and it's bad." She told me as we walked through the safehouse to get back to our desk.

"Bad enough to not have any more leads for Portnova ?" I suggested but she didn't respond until we arrived at the desk, Zasha looking at us.

"Well, it's bad if we're letting this happen." Zasha heard me talking, answered at Park's place. "Ritter is going to try to leave town tonight from the Kiyevsky railway terminal."

"Damnit." I breathed as hearing this could really screw up our chances to find something that could help us to save Portnova. "I guess that it's not the only bad thing, I supposed." I presumed, seeing the two faces towards me.

"Someone in the KGB has ordered everyone in Portnova's team including herself to not leave town for an undetermined time, starting at midnight." Park spoke up, taking an breath as she leaned herself on the desk. "This means that they will be heavily watched except for Portnova."

"We're sure that it's not Portnova herself asking for this." Zasha said clearly, standing up from their chair.

"So, tonight became our only chance to have an talk with Ritter." They both nodded at me as I looked at Ritter's file on the desk. "We can't actually capture him as we can risk an lot if someone in Portnova's team has an little problem."

"Yeah, the KGB or even Perseus can make everyone disappear for a while if something like this happen." Zasha thought, putting their hand on their face, trying to find something to do with Ritter. "What if we're trying to make Ritter realize of our goods intentions ?"

"Like transforming him in an insider that could help us with Portnova...." Park suggested right and Zasha nodded. "Since Ritter isn't going to be followed tonight, we can do it."

"But we don't know at which hour he's going to take the train so we might need to go to the station right now." I proposed as I looked around, seeing the others working to their desk. "It's only going to be the three of us, it's better." Park & Zasha nodded. "Then, let's go to put our hands on Ritter." At the second I said this that we start to prepare ourselve for that improvised mission.

As Ritter was going to be in an very public area, only me, Park & Zasha were able to go into the station to talk to him without bringing too much attention on us and to be certain, no one wanted to make an slaughter into that train station so we only took our pistols with us. Zasha was given one by Garrett back in West-Berlin and it was the one they used to kill that CIA agent back when we 'saved' Sonya Kuzmin....only to learn hours later that they managed to escape...CIA's stupidity....

Going out of the safehouse was an first since we didn't leave the place since we arrived 2 days ago here and to return into the city was kinda make me & Zasha to feel a bit stressed out about this. We couldn't allow to be recognized or to make any stupid moves as the KGB think that we are both dead. We arrived at the station, fully equipped with earsets and our pistols hidden below our jackets before getting ourselves separated even if I was keeping an closer distance with Zasha, wanting to be there in case something's bad happening to them to protect them.

Each one of us were positioning on an bay like ordinary travelers awaiting for their trains while keeping our eyes on the entrances. The place was crowded but not so much, allowing me to breath freely as I was remembering the last time I was in an very crowded place...it didn't end well and I was feeling not so good to be surrounded by an lot of people around me.

"Anyone seeing Ritter ?" Park asked, 10 minutes after we got inside the station, through our earsets as she was positioned at 2 bays from me as Zasha was positioned to the one next to mine. By luck, we could see each other as there weren't any trains between our bays. "Got nothing on my sight."

"Same for me." Zasha replied as I look at their direction, seeing them alone and standing up to see the panel where the departures & arrivals of the trains will be.

"Nothing for me too." I said as I sit back on an bench, tapping with my feet on the ground as I was feeling weird to be here, stressed & anxious at the same time. The civilians could see me as just an woman who is waiting for her train....me, it was because of been in an place like this. "How are you feeling right now ?"  I asked.

"Quite good." Park responded as I could see her, slowly waving at me from her bay as the ones between mine & hers wasn't so crowded at all. "You don't sound too well."

"It's just that I don't like to have all of these civilians around me." I explained, joining my hands together and taking an breath on the bench. "It's not something that I really like."

"You were like that before." I could hear Zasha's voice, sounding sad at hearing me talking. "You weren't an big fan of crowd and you kinda freak out if there's too much people." They added as I looked to them, also looking at me.

"Really ?" I asked.

"Yeah." They told me in an low voice, removing their eyes from me. "It was...."

"Got eyes on Ritter !" Park exclaimed silently through our earsets, inadvertantly cutting Zasha out in their words, making me look around me. "He's at the entrance." She added, I looked at where she said and she was right : Lukas Ritter was there alone, looking around him.

"Okay, let's see which bay is gonna take." I talked before I could hear an train arriving near the bay I was and then, I saw Lukas coming into the bay. "He's moving in : I'm going to stop him before he got into the train." I got up from the bench before starting to move away from it as the train stopped itself near the bay and I moved faster as I could see Lukas also walking more faster than usual. "Lukas Ritter ?" I said as I arrived near him at almost two steps from him to get into the train.

"Uhm...yes ?" He started, looking worried to see someone like me calling him out.

"I think that we have to talk." I spoke to him, giving to him directly my reasons to be her but he rolled his eyes.

"Sorry but I'm not free to...." He wanted to continue as I removed slowly an part of my jacket discreetly, revealing my M1911 in an holstler, making him stop in his words.

"Did I stutter ?" I got close to him, putting my hands on his shoulder more like an threat to him. "That was an order so we're gonna walk back to maybe your car and everything will go fine." I added before I make him look at the entrance. "So now, walk with me outside." I ordered as I stayed behind him, walking away slowly from the bay.

I didn't draw my gun as it was too dangerous and only showing it to Ritter was the only think I could do to make sure that he was going to comply to my order and to walk outside with me. We walked outside, still following him by behind. He was stressing by an lot to have someone like me, making sure that he will not do anything stupid move until we arrived at what I supposed to be his car in an parking well hidden from the public sight, now awaiting for Park & Zasha to come as they both saw me leave with Ritter.

But as Ritter was looking behind him for an second, he somehow decide to try something and to grab my gun inside my holstler. My first reaction was to knee kick him into the chest, removing his hands from my jacket. I tried to knee kick an second time but he managed to grab my right leg before I could put my both legs between the right arm that took my leg and then I make him roll on his car hood, holding his arm strongly. However, he managed to get himself up for an second and to throw me an punch right into my face, next to my lips but thanksfully, it wasn't enough to knock me out except feeling an little bit of blood on the bottom lip.

Right after that punch, I removed my legs from his arm, pushing him right on the ground before I took out my M1911 to aim at him with my both hands and now seeing the scare on his face.

"You try something like that...." I started before I lower my gun to the ground, seeing Park & Zasha running to get to me.

"You're alright ?" Park asked, seeing the blood on my bottom lip as Zasha was getting next to Lukas, making sure that he don't move.

"Yeah, just hit me but it's not so bad." I replied, passing my left hand on my lips to clean the blood on it and then, I put my M1911 back into my jacket "Now, he knows that he can't do an thing." I affirmed before I got next to Zasha, putting my hands on Lukas. "Help me getting him sit on the hood." I ordered to Zasha who nodded, helping me to get Lukas up....he wasn't knocked out....still scared about us.

"Do you think he's gonna talk ?" Zasha asked maybe to themselves as they were finished to have Lukas on the hood. "Don't need to tell me : he will !" They admitted as we needed some intels about Portnova.....and talking about her was making Zasha nervous.

"What do you want with me ?" Lukas questioned to the three of us as he was breathing an bit louder, trying to catch back his breath after that little fight.

"A lot of things and you will help us." Park responded, crossing her arms as she was looking around to make sure no one was looking at us, we were right next to an light pole but still in hidden sight. "Apparently, you have some...'differents opinions' and you're working with Yirina Portnova's team." She took back the same words the KGB used in that transmission. "Are you working with Perseus....or you're trying to defect ?"

"With Perseus." He said in an low voice, looking at her. "Listen, I wasn't willing to work with Perseus and same thing when I was send here to work inside the KGB." He added, mixing between looking at everyone.

"But why did you want to flee as the KGB was going to ask everyone to stay here ?" Zasha demanded him with narrowed eyes. "You did put yourself in danger for what ?"

"I wanted to go home !" He was sounding almost angry in his voice, causing Zasha to be almost scared about it. "I needed to see my boyfriend back....been months that I didn't see him..." He added, taking back his low voice as me, Park & Zasha looked at each other....he was trying to flee to get back to his boyfriend in East-Germany..."Just to be far from Perseus."

"You don't realize that Perseus is everywhere and he will do everything to have you back here ?" I started to say, wanting to make things clear with him. "What you almost did was going to make things worse for yourself." I continued, keeping my cool towards him. "And to make your life better, we need you to help us." I stepped back from him, getting next to Park.

"You're gonna be our insider in the KGB and that's not negociable." Park ordered him clearly, getting closer to him. "Once we're done, the MI6 can help you with your problems...only if you're helping us of course."

"Talk about Portnova !" Zasha told him in an sudden, sounding very curious. "Tell us what she's been doing."

"Well....she's been leading an team of cryptographer inside the KGB but in fact, it's just an team of Perseus spies." Lukas breathed, redressing himself on his car hood. "Portnova....she's been just placed as the leader by Perseus but in reality, he doesn't trust her."

"And why ?" I asked.

"Because even if she's with Perseus, she doesn't share his ideas." Lukas answered, rolling his eyes around. "She's been trying to struggle with an lot of things and Perseus recently removed her from giving the russians weapons from his arms trafficking around the world...He's doing it by himself now."

"So what I hear, Portnova has joined Perseus who doesn't really trust her and now, him or the KGB is going to watch everyone closely."  Zasha thought, getting their both hands in front of their mouth. "You said that you were going to help us, so do it." They added, sounding an bit angry.

"Yes, I will." Lukas affirmed before looking at me, worried. "What should I do ?"

"You will be soon contacted by someone that will instruct you to help us so you will agree." Park was the one to speak up to him as she was the one leading everything in here. "We're going to make sure that you follow our orders because bad consequences will occur if you don't."

"And....and now ?" He whispered

"Now, you're going back to the place you're living, awaiting." Park took an deep breath, looking at him closely. "Our eyes are on us now, don't screw this up because there's people you don't want to see angry." She exclaimed, looking at me & Zasha. "Go." She whispered before walking away from the front of the car.

"Ok, I will." Lukas repeated as he start to move from the car hood while me & Zasha were going next to Park, watching Lukas getting back into his car, Park gesturing at him that we got our eyes on him, looking deadly before Lukas drove away from the place with our orders in head.

"Shit." I whispered to myself as I didn't thought of that to happen....especially that fight I just had with him. "And now, we're awaiting for him to do his job." I breathed away as Park moved in front of me to check my lips.

"I'm gonna clean you up back at the safehouse." She said with an smile, an normal face before looking at Zasha who was recovering from everything they have heard from Lukas.

"Don't worry, Zed." I tapped on their left shoulder, grinning. I just wanted them to feel better, to reassure them that we will save Portnova from Perseus. "Come on, time to go back to the safehouse." I continued before I laugh about something, making me tap their shoulder again......

"I'm pretty sure that an big cup of coffee will get you well."

[fandom-necromancer]

A little Distraction Part 4

This has been prompted by a lovely anon! I still can’t believe how many of you like this story, I hope I can do it justice XD Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 | AU: Reverse AU (Warnings: mentioned abuse, but you know the last part,so...) Link to part one no longer available [Part2]   [Part3]   [Part5]   [Read complete on AO3]

‘I-I-I’m still embarrassed about it.’ Richard looked at Gavin sitting in the passenger side lips quirking up. ‘Hey, don’t be’, he laughed. ‘Connor and Hank won’t mind, and it was nice seeing you relax for once.’ ‘Holy shit, I m-m-met you yesterday!’ ‘I guess’, Richard shrugged and drove on. ‘Hey, don’t overthink it. If you want to, we can all pretend it never happened.’ Gavin staid silent for a while. ‘I don’t think I want that.’ ‘Hmm?’, Richard hummed in question. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I mean that it f-f-felt gooood. Wouldn’t want it to never have happened.’

‘Then try not to worry’, Richard suggested gently. ‘I didn’t mind it. I enjoyed that evening a lot.’ They both drove in silence for a while, then Richard hesitantly asked: ‘You still want to come back home with me? Or did you change your mind?’ ‘No, I… I stand by my word. I would… I think I just want to belong somewhere, and you might just work.’ Richard smiled to himself, nodding. ‘Right kind of weird for you?’ ‘Right kind of normal’, Gavin disagreed. ‘But yeah, you get the essence. Let’s just get back.’

They arrived back at Richard’s house and took their share of the leftovers back inside. Connor had packed Gavin an extra portion of the thirium cookies and he didn’t really know how he should feel about that. Still, as he sat at Richard’s table over an unfinished puzzle, munching on them. ‘You r-r-r-really enjoy doing this?’, he asked sceptically. ‘Yeah’, the human nodded. ‘But it’s just a pictuuure. It’s right there on the p-p-packaging too.’ Richard huffed. ‘Yeah, I guess it’s pointless. But it’s fun and something to keep you busy. I always got at least one on Christmas because the grandparents didn’t really know what to get me. Connor and I always finished one the days in between the years. I like to hold up that tradition.’ Gavin frowned and took a random piece from the heap. He looked at it, then at the picture on the box and placed it in the middle of the empty space. ‘Th-th-this one belongs there’, he said without much interest.

Richard looked at it and laughed. ‘You need to find pieces that fit together until you have the whole picture, Gavin.’ ‘If I continue liiiike this, it will be finished too.’ Richard sighed and handed him the piece. ‘Try find a piece in there that fits with yours.’ Gavin took it and looked at the box until the human took it away. ‘Without cheating’, he demanded. ‘I’d have to try every single one!’ ‘Nah, you can sort those out that don’t fit by colour’, Nines shrugged. ‘Only then it’s trial and error.’ Gavin shook his head and searched the heap, occasionally flicking pieces a bit too far when his hands glitched. Apparently, he had found one and tested it out. The piece fit perfectly. ‘This is pointless’, he commented, searching for the next one. ‘Maaaaaybe this is just a human th-th-thing.’ Richard grinned. ‘Maybe. Any other idea? What would you rather do?’

Gavin was thinking, trying to find the next piece. His hands glitched stronger suddenly and he had to momentarily stop. ‘We… I went for a walk with m-m-my f-f-family baaaack then. The day after Christmas.’ Richard stopped, attention focussing completely on the android in front of him. ‘Th-th-th-the kids loooved the snow. Alwaaays went to the Grand C-c-circus park and build a snowman or…’ This time it wasn’t his voice-box giving in. Gavin just stopped speaking. ‘Do you want to go there?’, Richard asked carefully. ‘I could drive us there.’ ‘I don’t actually know’, the android answered. ‘Maybe?’ He looked at Richard uncertainly. Nines tried to be reassuring and stood up. ‘I’ll get the keys. We can go and if you don’t like it, we simply drive back. I wouldn’t mind stretching my legs a bit after Hank’s food.’

-

Less than half an hour later, they stood at the entrance of the park. The trees were clad in festive lights and shone on the pathways in the beginning dark. Quite a few people were walking about, but it wasn’t at all crowded. Richard wrapped his scarf closer around his neck to keep out the cold and put his hands in his pockets. He looked around, breath coming out in little clouds and he smiled. ‘It’s nice here.’ Gavin just nodded and hesitantly followed the human in. Maybe it had been a bad idea to come to a place loaded with memories, but when he watched Richard smiling at the lights all around and locating the nearest trailer that sold coffee, he was almost ready to change his mind on that first impression. He quickly joined him and a cup of warmed thirium was pressed into his hand. Confused he looked at it. ‘Hey, you think I’d only get myself something?’, Richard chuckled. ‘How’s that saying? If you’re cold, they are cold?’ ‘I b-b-believe that’s for dogs’, Gavin complained. ‘Androids can’t get cold.’ ‘Then pretend this stupid human doesn’t understand and is concerned.’ ‘Urgh’, Gavin groaned at Richard pampering him, but still accepted the warm drink, sipping on it.

‘There’s a free bench over there’, the human pointed out. ‘How about we sit there and enjoy our drinks, hmm?’ ‘Th-th-the whole point oooof this is to move a bit after eatiiing a lot.’ ‘Are you complaining about everything today?’, Richard asked, but the soft smile on his face told Gavin he didn’t mean it. ‘I just like complaining’, Gavin shrugged. They sat down on the bench underneath a decorated tree and just watched the people walking by and the decorations. After a while though, Gavin’s eyes found their ways to the person sitting next to him. There was a certain spark in those grey-blue eyes as they looked up towards the night sky that still held a few stars even with all the light pollution. Richard caught him staring the next moment, but Gavin didn’t avert his eyes. He was still thinking about how to put everything he felt right now into a simple thank you, as someone came running up to him.

‘Gavin!’ He flinched at the touch, but recoiled even more when he saw who stood there, a hand on his knee. ‘Kathy?’, he breathed the name in question, disbelieving and panicking at the implication of the child standing here. ‘Max! Max, Gavin’s here!’, the girl shouted, and Gavin’s heart sank as another familiar face appeared smiling as he recognised him. ‘Gavin!’ The android just stared at them wide-eyed, unable to speak. ‘Kathrine, Max, where are you? Get back here!’ Oh no. He knew that voice. ‘What- Get away from that man, you two!’ Gavin looked up in the face of the man that pulled his children away from where they had stood before him. And the man stared right back. They both were likely the same level of shocked, but Gavin was freezing completely over. He couldn’t move and at the same time trembled in glitches, while his LED was stuck on red.

‘Err… Kathy, Max, please go back to your mom, okay?’ ‘But that’s Gavin!’, the girl protested. ‘Yes, let daddy talk to him for a while, okay?’ The man turned around, watching them run back to their mother before facing Gavin again and swallowing. The android still was unable to do anything but stare. ‘Gavin… is it really you?’ The android nodded jerkily. ‘Yes. It’s me, John.’ The human took a step back, breathing heavy. ‘Oh, God.’

Richard looked at the encounter from the side-lines, needing no explanation to what happened here. ‘Oh, God, Gavin, I’m so fucking sorry. I panicked and I wanted to keep them save and I- I… Fuck, I didn’t know you were alive. I did horrible things to you. Truly horrible things. I can’t even imagine how you must have felt and fuck. I’m sorry. I- I didn’t know, I-‘ ‘IIIIt’s o-o-o-okay’, Gavin pressed out just to make the man shut his mouth. ‘No, it’s not. I fucking beat you almost every day! And when I was afraid you were alive and would turn on me, I just dumped you telling you to wait. Although I knew I’d never come back for you.’ ‘It’s okaaaay’, Gavin tried again. ‘I d-d-d-don’t waaaant to th-th-think about it anymore.’ John looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. ‘Why?’ ‘B-b-b-because I have my ooown family now.’ It was the first time, the man even acknowledged Richard sitting next to him, coffee long forgotten. ‘What?’ ‘R-r-richard. He found me at the scraaaapyard and t-t-t-took me hooome. I haaated you. I waaanted to c-c-come back. I missed you. Th-th-the kids. You were my faaamily. But I waited l-l-l-long enough for you. I want to st-st-start again now. With Richard and h-h-his family.’

John swallowed hard and got to his knees, ignoring how the snow soaked the fabric of his trousers. Carefully, he took Gavin’s hand in his and nodded. ‘Okay. I understand. Just… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought you were a machine that didn’t feel anything. I… I still shouldn’t have, and I know it. I’m sorry I did this to you. I want you to know that. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that because of me. I’m… I’ve sought help for my problem. The kids and Helen, they are safe from me. And I wish you all the best in your life. I hope we never meet again.’ He stood up and took a step back, facing Richard and he could see the man was really meaning it. ‘Treat him better than I did. Promise me.’ Nines nodded. ‘I will.’ ‘Thank you. Goodbye, Gavin.’

Richard watched the man hurry back to his family and Gavin sip on his thirium with shaking hands. They had long left the park, when he dared to talk to the android again. ‘Are you alright?’ ‘Not r-r-really’, Gavin answered. ‘I think I would like to go home now.’ ‘Of course’, Richard spoke gently and guided him up and towards his car. ‘I’ll drive us home.’ The sound of the engine made Gavin ease up a bit, but it was only when they arrived at the man’s home, that Gavin dared to release all the built-up tension.

‘Thank you.’

Richard looked up from where he had put away his shoes. ‘For what?’ ‘Everything. Being nice and caring. Picking me up to beeeeegin with. I think even if he did come b-b-b-back to get me, I wouldn’t want to go back with h-h-h-him.’ ‘You don’t have to thank me for that’, Richard sighed. ‘Maybe not. But I feeelt like I had to.’ ‘I understand’, he nodded. ‘What now?’

Gavin looked over at the table. ‘You still have to finish that puzzle, right? And maybe a m-m-m-movie afterwards?’ Richard smiled at him and Gavin really could get used to seeing that. ‘Sounds amazing. Let me just heat up Hank’s leftovers from yesterday and we can get right to it.’

[>next part]

[spaceskam]

i got a little time

a slightly last minute day 4 of @malexweek​: free day! companion piece to my story in some other life! It’s not necessary to read that one first to understand this one since it takes place in the same time frame

warnings: mentions of torture, mentions of death, ptsd, childhood trauma, basically just proceed with caution

ao3

Alex knew a lot of things.

He was admittedly smart and open-minded. He tried his best to be logical and kind and fair. Granted, that kindness hadn’t really been extended to Michael Guerin lately, but he deserved it. Alex had no regrets pushing him away because he deserved it.

However, as his phone went off and he read the text Michael had sent out, his stomach dropped to the floor.

From: Michael

Hi. Sorry for the group message. Basically I'm leaving tonight. You probably won't see me again and if you do then I've failed. I didn't want to go without saying goodbye, but I also didn't want to freak you all out today when I came to see you. I know I've let you all down and I hope what I'm doing makes up for it. Thank you for being around me even though you don't like me. I'm sorry for all my fuck ups and for hurting you and for generally being a bad person. I hope it's better in another life. Love, Michael

Alex read over the message at least ten times, trying to make sense of it. His mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenario, but he couldn’t tell if he was just projecting or not. Either way, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore it under a good conscience. Especially when other people in the groupchat were asking what he meant and receiving no response.

“Hey, I gotta go,” Alex said to his date, the name of whom escaped him in favor of trying to make sense of what was going on with Michael. He didn’t wait for acknowledgement before he went to his car.

Alex threw caution to the wind, speeding to the junkyard. The more he thought, the faster he drove. He was buzzing with worry. What if Michael was leaving the planet in that stupid spaceship? Or, worse, what if Michael was leaving in a much more permanent way? Gone. Full stop.

He pulled up to the airstream at the same time as Isobel, both of them haphazardly parking and getting out of their respective cars as quickly as possible. The trailer was moved and exposing the manhole in the ground and all that did was make it more nerve-wracking. They shared a look and immediately went to pry it open.

Everything around them seemed eerily quiet. All the sounds that came with being outside seemed to be gone. No creaking, no wind, no nothing. All dead. 

“I can’t feel him,” Isobel told him, her words soft and desperate. He spared her a look for a couple seconds before he just pried open the hole with all the strength he could muster. 

It opened and, again, more eerie silence. Alex went down the ladder first, moving faster than he should. Working a ladder with one leg was still difficult, but this was Michael. Michael, the love of his life and who had been torturing. What if he went too far?

Alex hit the ground and Isobel did within the next second, having chosen to jump down. They both immediately noticed the giant arch that hadn’t been there the last time they were down there.

“Michael?” Isobel called softly as they slowly made their way around the bench. The arch was humming with electricity still and the place around them looked like it’d been ransacked. Michael was always messy minded, but this was a different level.

Which is when they spotted him laying on the ground unconscious.

“Michael!” Isobel said, immediately dropping to his side and tapping his cheeks. Something was stopping Alex from doing the same. It took him a second to realize what exactly kept him from doing that, but, once he noticed, he couldn’t not notice.

His hair was noticeably shorter, the curls tighter and only seeming to be disturbed by him falling to the ground. His clothes were different, a button-up shirt that was buttoned up all the way up and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows along with tighter jeans than the man he knew would ever wear. His body was even different, much slimmer in every way including his shoulders being at least a couple inches less broad. He looked like Michael, but he… wasn’t.

“Isobel,” Alex said cautiously, his eyes staying on the unconscious body, “That’s not Michael.”

“What?” she scoffed.

“Just look at it,” Alex whispered, “That’s not Michael.”

A terrified little gasp racked through her body and she covered her hand over her mouth as it seemed to click that it really wasn’t Michael. Alex started to look around, looking for something that might give him a clue for what the hell was going on.

The whole table was covered in nonsensical math and writing, everything disjointed. He had lined paper, but it seemed he disregarded them completely. Alex started to gather them in one stack so he could bring it all back with him so he could study it when he spotted one page in particular. It had ‘ALEX’ written across the top in unmistakable letters.

ALEX

If you’re reading this, then I’m probably gone. Which is good, I think. Good for you, good because you deserve not to have me ruining all the good things in your life. I’m only writing this because I needed to get some things off my chest and it didn’t really suffice in a text. So here it is.

I love you. More than anything in the world. All of the bullshit I’ve done and the mistakes I’ve made, I never stopped loving you. You’re the reason I made it this far in the first place I think. Every time I got too sad or things felt like too much or getting out of bed seemed impossible, thinking of you always made it a little easier. You’re my home and you give me hope and that scares the shit out of me, but it’s true. And it’s okay that I’m not the same to you. I don’t need to be.

I could sit here and write a whole five pages on how beautiful you are, but you know that I think that. You know that I’m convinced you could stop traffic. It seems a little unimportant to mention something as small as physical beauty, but you’re gorgeous. Every single little thing about you. Name something about you and I worship it.

Every song on the radio is about you. The sky rains for you and the sun shines for you. The world turns for you. 

I think I might be insane.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU. Today, yesterday, tomorrow, always. I’ll treat you better in a different lifetime.

Love, Michael

Alex took a deep breath as he looked over it a couple more times. His stomach was churning and he felt sick. What the hell did he do?

The not-quite Michael on the ground groaned, stealing Alex’s attention and reminding him what was going on. He folded up the note and shoved it in his pocket as he turned to help Isobel with whoever this was.

He slowly lifted his head and looked around. He was dazed and trying to piece it together. However, he seemed to wake up and he sat up straight, panic evident on his face.

“Did I do it? Where am I? There’s people here,” the Other Michael murmured to himself, checking himself for wounds. His chin was bowed to his chest and he kept talking to himself, kept asking himself questions, kept ignoring that he could ask the other people in the room. “Black boots, they didn’t have black boots. Jeans, they didn’t wear jeans. I’m not there, where am I?”

“Michael?” Isobel said. Alex wanted to reach out to her and pull her back so they could have this conversation in a more efficient way after they figured out  what was going on, but that didn’t seem plausible.

The Other Michael froze at the sound of her voice and he slowly lifted his head. His eyes were bulging out of his head as he looked up at Isobel. He looked over her a few times.

“You’re Isobel?” he asked cautiously. She nodded slowly. Then he lunged forward to hug her, clinging onto her desperately. Isobel’s eyes drifted up to Alex’s, trying to figure out what to do. But, honestly, he didn’t know. He was way out of his fucking depth. “I could do it, I knew I could do it.”

“Do what?” Isobel whispered, eyes still locked on Alex in her fear and confusion.

“Fix it, save you,” he said, pulling away slightly, “Where’s Max?”

“Uh,” she said. Alex decided it was time to step in and figure out what to do.

“What exactly do you mean by save?” Alex asked. Michael turned his head to face him as if just remembering he was there and he looked Alex up and down. His entire face flushed a shade of red his Michael never did.

“I know him?” he whispered to himself before adding an “I know you?” a little louder. Alex nodded and his face got an even darker shade of red. 

“Can you explain what you mean by save?” Alex repeated. Michael blinked a few times before he nodded.

“Right. So,” he said, looking around and taking every detail in. Alex could see the gears in his mind turning as he catalogued things in his mind. He was actually thinking before he spoke. That was new. “Okay, I think I must’ve miscalculated because of your ages. I didn’t go back in time. Or, if I did, I don’t remember it, but I would’ve remembered it, so I think I’m elsewhere. Are those notes?” He got to his feet easily and Alex noticed that he was at least an inch or two shorter than his Michael. He was clearly a grown man, but he was so small. 

Michael sorted through the pages, his head moving slightly with his eyes as he read them impossibly fast. Isobel stood up and went to Alex’s side, taking ahold of his arm as a way to steady herself. Michael stopped his reading by tapping the table.

“Right. So, I know what happened. I was working on creating a time machine and so was he. I don’t think either of us were actually that wrong. By the looks of it, it should’ve worked quite well. I think the problem lies in the fact that we happened to do it at the exact same time in our respective timelines and it created a weird twist and we swapped places instead. The only way to fix it is to, again, do it at the same exact time. It’ll be a little hard to do on purpose, but I think we can manage,” Michael rambled, looking up at them, “I know he’ll want to come back. Here seems much better.”

“Better?” Isobel asked, eying him, “What’s it like where you’re from?”

Alex wasn’t actually sure he wanted to know. Michael had asked if he knew him here. He couldn’t imagine a lifetime where he didn’t know Michael. As much as he was an asshole, that seemed impossible.

“Um, well, you’re not there,” he said simply, still tapping against the counter, “Neither is Max. Where is Max?”

“He’s,” Isobel said cautiously, looking to Alex before looking back to Michael, “He’s dead.”

Michael stopped tapping.

“Oh,” he said, tilting his head, “What happened? Was it the doctors?”

“The doctors?” Alex prodded. Michael went back to tapping. He seemed to be twisting in his skin. Alex had the undeniable urge to get him alone and learn all of his secrets. Apparently that needed didn’t go away no matter which version of Michael he was talking about.

“The doctors, the ones who found us after the crash? Kept us, trained us, pushed us. Pushed until… Well, doesn’t matter, I got out. Did we all get out here? You know, both of you are very accepting of the alternate universe thing, I’m surprised,” Michael rambled, refusing to let them fully comprehend what he was saying about anything.

“Things are weird here,” Isobel said, stepping closer, “Go back to the doctors.”

“And you, how do I know you? Are you still called Alex? You dress different here and you walk different,” Michael quizzed. Alex raised an eyebrow. So he didn’t know him where he was from, but he knew how he dressed and how he walked? Michael’s face turned red again and he looked away. Not like he was making eye contact in the first place. 

Before they could make any sense of the rest of it‒or even make sense of what he’d already said‒there was more noise. Liz and Kyle and Maria appeared on the ladder, all rushing in response to that goddamn text.

But this Michael, smaller and different, immediately changed gears as more people appeared. Alex spotted the way he shrunk in on himself as Liz ran to hug him. He didn’t hug back or respond. His panic visibly grew before something went off behind his eyes and they unfocused. Alex clocked that immediately.

“Liz,” Alex said, putting a hand on her shoulder and gently pulled her off him. She looked confused as he did so, but she noticed Michael’s discomfort. “Isobel, take Michael to the airstream so he can calm down and fill him in on what it’s like here. I’ll tell them.”

Which would’ve worked, but the moment Isobel tried to pull him that way, he freaked out.

“No!” Michael said when she tried to pull him to the ladder, “No, no, I can’t, no.” 

Isobel let go of his arm and he pulled away completely, backing himself into a wall. He put his hands on his head and he instantly started whispering to himself, counting and breathing as he sunk in on himself. It probably wasn’t helping that everyone was staring at him like he didn’t belong.

“Okay, new plan,” Alex sighed, “Everyone else up, Isobel stay with him here.”

“What do I do?” Isobel whisper-yelled at him as everyone started heading back up the ladder without argument.

“Just sit with him. I’ll get an air mattress down here, maybe we can get him to sleep and we’ll figure it out,” Alex told her softly, his eyes going to the boyish, terrified version of the man he loved despite it all, “We’re gonna figure it out.”

“Okay,” Isobel agreed. Alex squeezed her arm and headed up the ladder to fill Liz, Kyle, and Maria in on the little bit they knew.

That letter burned in his back pocket.

-

It took less than 24-hours (for Alex, at least) that, as charismatic as this Michael had seemed when he first woke up, that wasn’t actually who he was.

He was quiet, reserved, and anxious. He talked to himself more than he talked to other people and he shied away from basically all of them as soon as the initial adrenaline wore off. He seemed to need isolation and familiarity and this… Well, this was a lot of change. All of which would’ve been, but Alex had heard him mention he needed his medication. It was concerning to say the least.

Alex and Isobel had been taking shifts to check on him which was hell on his leg, but Alex was determined to watch over him if only because he needed the real Michael back for his own peace of mind. However, the only way they were going to get his Michael back, was if this one was working out the kinks in the machine. Something he couldn’t do if they sent him into a mental break by making him stop all his medication without weaning off of them.

“Do you know all the medication you take?” Alex asked as he came down the ladder. Michael looked up at him from the air mattress. His eyes were tired and he was curled up in a ball.

“Yes,” Michael said softly, “35mg of paroxetine, 25mg of lamotrigine, 2mg of clonzaepam, 50mg of‒”

“Write it down for me,” Alex said instead, “I’ll get it for you.”

“You will?” Michael asked, almost like he was surprised. Alex nodded and gave him one of Michael’s notebooks and pens to write it down. This Michael took it graciously. 

His handwriting was noticeably different from the scratchy handwriting of his Michael. It was boxy and childlike despite the words being spelled perfectly. Alex wanted to pry so bad. He wanted to know everything.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly do you take all that for?” Alex wondered. He was no stranger to a long list of medications, but the Michael he knew would never. He was sure he’d rather pout over a vat of acetone than follow anything a doctor prescribed.

“You name it, I’ve been diagnosed with it at least once by someone,” he said, glancing up at Alex before diverting his eyes again. He did that with everyone. “Right now, I’ve got PTSD, anxiety, depression, and a couple other things, but it all seems to boil down to those three things, so.”

“Me too,” Alex said. Michael furrowed his eyebrows. “Air Force Captain. PTSD basically comes with the job.”

“Air Force,” Michael said to himself, “What led to Air Force?”

“And your anxiety, is it primarily when it comes to people or were you just generally overwhelmed last night?” Alex wondered as he took the list. He planned to shop through his own medicine cabinet before taking it to Kyle to see what he could get his hands on.

“Um,” Michael said, rubbing over his face, “I-I guess all of the above? Humans are too much. They think so loud and there’s too much with them, you know?”

Alex did not know.

“It’s easier to stay by myself. That’s what I do at home, I stay by myself. I get coffee, I go to therapy, I go home. I work from home. I do things from home.”

“You said we think too loud,” Alex said cautiously, “Does that mean you’re strong enough to hear my thoughts?”

Michael looked up at him, making eye contact for the very first time and it hit Alex a little too hard. There was something so distinctly off about him and something told him it had nothing to do with all the things he’d just admitted.

“I am not strong. I’m weak. That’s the only reason I’m alive.”

Alex stared at him for a long while, trying to make sense of what exactly he meant by that. He had a feeling it was one hell of a story. His whole life was probably one hell of a story. That’s typically how one ends up with a medication list that long.

“Right. I’ll be back soon and I’ll pick up some food.”

Michael pulled the blanket back over his head.

-

“What are we supposed to do with him exactly?”

“Take care of him.”

“This is so fucking weird.”

Alex rubbed his eyes as everyone spoke around him. It’d been four days of still just rotating shifts of checking on the not-Michael, slowly watching as he got stabilized and adjusted. It was taking longer than he wanted, but he knew he was just being impatient. 

Not-Michael was still being tight-lipped about what his life was actually like, but, considering the context clues, Alex was stressing that his Michael was in a very bad place. A place where they pick up little kids and spend their whole life torturing them to the point that they try to build a time machine.

But, then again, his Michael tried to build a time machine too.

“Well, I was talking with him last night,” Isobel said. She was handling it better than everyone and it had everything to do with Michael being completely obsessed with her existence. Every time Alex saw them, he was staring at her like she was made of diamonds. “He said he works as an technical engineering supervisor from home, like he works for the government and stuff. The guy is smart. Like, makes our Micheal look stupid, smart.”

“He talks to himself, though,” Liz pointed out, voice a little hushed, “Like more than normal. Shouldn’t we be a little concerned that he’s just a ticking time bomb?”

“I don’t know, there’s people at Sunset Mesa that talk to themselves like that and they’re not crazy. I think it just comes from isolation,” Maria suggested.

“It also could be a side effect of his heightened anxiety,” Kyle said.

“But don’t smart people talk to themselves? Maybe he’s just smart,” Isobel said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Or maybe he had a shitty childhood, worse than we can even imagine, and it’s a coping mechanism,” Alex said sternly, causing all of them to give him their attention, “Or it could be any number of things all mixed together, but it doesn’t matter. We aren’t going to sit here and speculate and gossip about him. We’re going to give him time to adjust to his medications, adjust to the new setting. We just have to be patient and not treat him like he’s weird or crazy. He’s still Michael, just… extremely different.”

“But shouldn’t we know what we’re dealing with?” Liz said.

“Listen, I’ve read over Michael’s notes over and over and they don’t make sense. I understand some of it and I’ve researched some of the math that was past my understanding, but some of it is nonsensical at best. This Michael is our only shot at getting ours back, so we’re going to be nice to him and we’re going to help him,” Alex explained simply.

“You know, for someone who was pretty anti-Michael before all of this, you sure seem really eager to get him back,” Isobel said. Alex didn’t give her any kind of reaction to that.

They slowly but surely shifted their conversation back onto other topics and Alex eventually announced that he would see them later before excusing himself for the night. Like he had been for the last few nights, he made his way to the airstream. Other Michael had no idea that the airstream even existed since he refused to leave the bunker and his Michael probably wouldn’t mind him taking over the space, so that’s what he did. It made him feel safer, closer.

He changed into his night clothes and sat on the edge of the bed to take off his prosthetic. He needed to wash his leg and the liner, but Alex felt frozen in place. His head was heavy and his heart was aching and he found himself doubling over with a pillow in his lap, inhaling Michael’s scent and trying not to start crying.

It was more than a little difficult to process everything. Although Michael had only been gone for a few days, it felt like a goddamn lifetime. Alex had been overwhelmed with guilt and, any moment he wasn’t purposely distracting himself, he felt sick with it. The moment his mind relaxed, he’d just be drowning in self-hatred and anger and he had to distract himself again. He was fucking miserable and he just wanted Michael back. The right one.

Again, he played over the months leading up to this disaster. Michael had hooked up with Maria and was painfully mean to Alex all the while to the point that, when it crashed and burned, Alex felt no guilt being mean back. He pushed and he pushed and, when he saw Michael self-isolating and punishing himself, he pushed harder. Hell, that night, he’d purposely rubbed his date in his face, purposely told him to fuck off when he tried to say goodbye. It felt like it was all his fault.

The worst part was this was beyond his expertise. When normal people left, they usually just left the city or the state, not the goddamn dimension. This wasn’t something Alex could just follow him and apologize. This wasn’t even like he was dead and forcing him to mourn. This was hell. Did Michael know what this would do to him?

Alex kept the pillow under his nose as he grabbed the note again that Michael had left for him. He basically had it memorized by now, but he liked looking at it. He liked knowing that Michael didn’t hate him for being a dick. He loved him.

His eyes scanned over the words once again before he couldn’t take the tightness in his chest, so he quickly double checked that he hadn’t yet detached his leg before he stood up and went to go down to the bunker. He needed something and this was the closest thing he was going to get.

The Other Michael was sitting at the big table, looking between Michael’s work and a fresh notebook as he transcribed everything in a more cohesive manner. That alone gave Alex a little bit of comfort. Just… not enough.

“Hey,” he said, his voice a little breathy and obviously stressed. The Other Michael looked up at him, but he avoided eye contact by focusing his eyes on Alex’s shoulder instead of his face. Which, fine, fair enough. “So, I hate to be so pushy, but can you tell me how you live over there? It’s driving me insane not knowing what he entered on his own and, no offense, but you being so heavily medicated just makes me nervous about how he’s doing. I just need to know he’s not, like, being tortured.”

The Other Michael was uncharacteristically silent for a moment and Alex forced himself to be patient. He didn’t want to push, but he just needed to know. Eventually, Michael swiveled in his little chair to show that he was giving him his full attention.

“I live in an apartment in Manhattan and I work from home. As long as he’s figured out what my job is and is keeping up my work, then he should be fine,” he said. Alex swallowed harshly and looked around the bunker to try to think of something.

“Then what’s so bad about being over there? Because you seemed pretty sure he’d want to come back,” Alex said. Michael started tapping against the table again, murmuring to himself softer than Alex could hear. He decided it wasn’t even his place to hear those thoughts.

“Um, here, there’s Isobel and you and… others,” Michael said, his face turning that deep shade of red it seemed to always be when he had to talk to him, “Over there, it’s very lonely.”

Alex nodded, swallowing as he looked around again to find something to say. It was weird being here without Michael, without him showing off. Everything was wrong without him here. 

“I have another question,” Alex said, which was an understatement, really, because he had a million, “How do you know me if you don’t know Liz or Maria or Kyle? If you live in Manhattan and you’re alone all the time, how do you know me?”

Michael’s face flushed an even deeper shade of red and he looked down at the table. Alex didn’t know what he was expecting him to say, but a part of him was assuming the worst. Were those “doctors” he mentioned actually military people? Did he know Alex because he was the son of one of them? But, honestly, that didn’t make sense because, if he was, he probably wouldn’t trust to be alone with any version of him.

“Um,” Michael said, still tapping away, “You live up in Manhattan too. And, I mean, I don’t know you over there. You’re a barista that I see sometimes and I follow you on Instagram, but we’ve never had a conversation.”

Well that was certainly not what Alex was expecting.

“I’m a barista?” Alex asked, suddenly more interested in this weird other version of him than anything else. Michael smiled for the first time and it was nice to see that he was getting more comfortable. 

“And, um,” he said, breathing out a soft breath of air as his cheeks continued to darken, “A go-go dancer.”

Alex huffed a disbelieving laugh, shaking his head. He couldn’t picture himself like that. The whole idea was laughable at best. He wondered if his Michael had discovered that yet. Did he find it funny?

“That’s…” Alex said, huffing a laugh as he leaned against the wall, “Insane. But I guess that could be fun in another life.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, still tapping. They were quiet for a moment again as Alex tried to picture it. “What, uh, what am I to you here? There you… Well, he would never give me the time of day if I tried.”

Alex smiled sadly to himself. He only had disappointing things to share. Somehow, that story of what could be sounded a lot more hopeful than Alex’s story of what could’ve been. They’d slaughtered their past, burned any chance of a future.

But, still, there was no point in lying.

“We’re in love,” Alex admitted and Michael nearly fell out of his chair. Alex snorted a laugh and crossed his arms over his chest. “We’ve been on and off since we were 17, he’s the love of my life.”

“I-I’m so sorry,” this Michael said, guilt on his face. But it wasn’t his fault. Well, not really, anyway.

“It’s okay,” he promised, “We weren’t together when all this happened. Kind of in a fight, I guess.”

“Well, I assumed. Not even a fool would leave you willingly,” he asked. It was Alex’s turn to feel his blood run a little hot and he raised an eyebrow.

“You should definitely try when you get home,” he said, “‘Cause you probably have a better shot than you think.”

Michael shook his head and looked back down to his notebook. Alex instantly started wondering if they were any closer to fixing that thing and getting back to normal, but he knew they probably weren’t. That’d be too easy, too quick. Alex was never lucky enough to get what he wanted in a timely manner.

“But, basically, he’s alone over there,” Alex said, shifting the subject back to the one that was important, “Is he safe from those doctors you mentioned?”

“Yes,” Michael said instantly, tone clipped, “They’re all dead.”

“Dead?”

Michael whispered to himself, knee bouncing and finger tapping. He was closing in on himself and it was clearly a touchy subject. But, the thing was, curiosity aside, he needed to know. He needed to know what kind of universe his Michael was going into. He needed to know if he was alone and facing a threat that Alex couldn’t protect him from. He didn’t know why exactly he needed to know that, but… he did.

“You don’t need to tell me all the details,” Alex said, stepping closer, “But I would really appreciate a little bit of a rundown of what happened to you over there. I know you’re not exactly like him, but he’s curious. He’s going to look into things.”

Michael kept tapping and he looked up to Alex before looking back down. Alex wasn’t sure if he was like his Michael or not, but he had to assume he had some things in common. So, in an attempt to comfort him like he would comfort his Michael, he reached out and touched his shoulder. His head snapped in his direction, but he didn’t pull away. So Alex squeezed and rubbed his hand over his shoulder.

“Tell me.”

“Isobel, Max, and I were found in the desert of Roswell, New Mexico after waking up out of our pods. Found by people camping, I think, I don’t remember. The next day, though, we were selected to be a part of a study that was publicized as a study for kids who had escaped from cults at young ages,” Michael said, letting out a little laugh. Alex rubbed over his back, all bones beneath his shirt. “We were the only subjects. I-I don’t really know all the details, they obviously wouldn’t tell us what they were doing or why, but they said we were aliens and they were there to train us. And train us they did.”

“But it was torture,” Alex guessed. Michael shrugged.

“Wasn’t all bad,” he admitted, “They just pushed so hard. It was too easy to break, fight back as we got stronger.”

“What happened when you fought back?” Alex asked quietly, his fingers reaching up into his hair. Michael’s eyes closed and he leaned into his touch. It was too familiar.

“Depends,” Michael said, “How violent you were equalled how bad it was. I threw a bowl of oatmeal at a nurse and got six weeks in solitary.”

“Jesus.”

“Isobel threw a doctor off the roof, killed him. She didn’t tell me what happened, but she had scars everywhere.”

“And Max?”

“Max,” Michael said, smiling sadly to himself as he seemed to think back, “Max let it fester.”

“Oh?”

Michael’s head was tilted almost all the way back into his palm, completely unraveling in his touch. It was strange and new all at once. Alex felt more powerful than he could articulate and he couldn’t let go. So he didn’t.

Still, Michael shook his head a little bit and his eyes opened.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Then tell me this,” Alex whispered, tilting his head so that all this small, intelligent, deceivingly powerful version of man he loved could see was him, “What are you capable of?”

“You really wanna know?” Michael asked.

“Yes.”

In the blink of an eye, any wall in Alex’s mind that protected him from psychic evaluation was destroyed, a whirlwind of chaos entering his mind, grabbing him by the metaphorical collar, and yanking him into some place else. Once he got settled into that some place else, Alex realized it was the desert.

Except, not just any place in the desert.

Alex found himself standing in the middle of the crash site, the sand around his feet ever changing. He seemed to be reliving every moment of history that happened in that spot. Flashes of a shattered spaceship, of violence, of military conspiracies, of angered voices, of cold rain on his skin after getting high, of making love in the bed of a truck on hot summer nights, of feeling alone, of future moments that he wasn’t allowed to fully understand. It was overwhelming and Alex felt obscenely overstimulated, every nerve in his body screaming, but his mind, his mind told him he was at peace no matter how much his body disagreed.

In front of him stood Michael, not his Michael, but Michael nonetheless.

“This is only a little bit,” he said, his voice in his head and outside of it and everywhere and nowhere, “I’m not a psychic, I’m not an explosive, but I was trained to be both.”

“You’re a telekinetic,” Alex said and Michael nodded.

“I can use my mind to separate muscles from bones and white blood cells from red without moving,” he said, “And I hate it. I was trained and built to be a weapon. I refuse to be a weapon.”

“I don’t think you’re a weapon,” Alex assured him despite the fear he felt. It was hard to not feel fear when he wasn’t in control. But he would survive. 

“You’re scared of me,” Michael accused.

“No, not of you,” Alex told him and he was being honest, “Thank you for showing me this.”

“I hate what I can do,” Michael said, “I hate this. I hate being a weapon.”

Alex, despite his fear, stepped closer to him. He walked better here than in reality. He put his hand on his shoulder and slid it up into his hair. Was this manipulation? If it was, Michael knew and he didn’t mind, so Alex continued until he was holding him.

“Let me teach you not to hate it. Let’s use it for good. Let’s get my Michael back, okay?” he said. And this Michael nodded.

Soon, Alex was carefully put back into his own mind and they both unintentionally fell into each other, the mindscape draining them both for extremely different reasons. But Alex hugged him and he hugged him back.

They were much closer after that.

-

A few weeks later, things were agonizingly getting back to normal.

Liz went back to focusing on Max, Maria went back to focusing on the bar, Kyle went back to focusing on the hospital, Isobel went back to splitting her time with Max and Michael is allegedly even amounts. Alex was the only one that seemed to still be trying to fix this.

Well, Alex and Michael.

They spent most of the time in the bunker, considering Michael still refused to leave, and Alex was learning a lot about what could’ve been his Michael if things went different. He fluctuated between being completely silent to being really talkative and there seemed to be nothing that indicated which he would be. He’d be excited and loud one second and then, without warning, he’d shut down. Alex didn’t mind it.

They were rebuilding the portal from scratch basically. Other Michael’s theory was that his Michael fucked up the coding and accidentally created an alternate universe portal instead of a time machine and Other Michael created one that was applicable for both, so when they went in at the same time, it swapped them instead of going back in time. Alex could barely wrap his head around it, so he just took it as fact.

It was just slow and Alex only was getting a little bit of information at a time and he was becoming more and more interested in Other Michael’s past. He didn’t even want to know because of his Michael anymore, he was now just really fucking curious.

Context clues told him both Isobel and Max died before they were able to escape and Max died first, but he never told him how. Alex didn’t know how old he was when he got out or how he got out, just that they were cruel and he had to rely on Isobel and Max to stay sane. Alex didn’t know how all those doctors died, only that he went to therapy with the only doctor in the country who knew all of the details because he had been employed but left when he decided it was inhumane. He didn’t know how he got to Manhattan with a list of impressive credentials, only that he had a medicine cabinet that was obscene. He knew so little and he wanted to know everything.

“You know, if you ever want to leave the bunker for any reason, we can,” Alex said, “I know all the places in the town that people don’t go.”

Other Michael shrugged, tugging the blankets around him tighter as he whispered to himself. He did that on bad days. Alex had brought him more blankets when he asked for them and he cocooned himself in blankets and his own sweat. He said it put his mind at ease. To Alex, it seemed like some veiled attempt at replicating contact with another human. He was too awkward to actually offer despite their trip to his mindscape.

Isobel had shown him hers as a comparison and it was only when that happened that he realized just how much of a show off what Michael did was. She struggled even getting into his mind in the first place even when he was being open to her and, whenever she did get inside, she said it was literally impossible to coax him out. He was basically chained inside his brain. Michael was strong enough to break those shackles without any extra effort. It was impressive to say the least.

“Actually…” Michael said, voice small, “Tomorrow night, do you think you could bring me to see Max?”

“You want to see him?” Alex asked, perking up at the idea of getting him out and about. Michael nodded. 

“I want to see the pod too. I haven’t seen one of them since, well, I came out of it,” he said, “Just not today.”

“Yeah, absolutely, we can go. You want me to ask Isobel to be there too?”

“If you could.”

“I can.”

By the time the next night rolled around, Alex gave him a little reassuring pep talk that they wouldn’t run into anyone. It was the middle of the night and he would be fine. A shoulder squeeze solidified their understanding and soon they were climbing up the ladder.

“Oh,” Michael said, “I… I didn’t realize we were beneath a junkyard.”

“Yeah, my Michael lives in that trailer,” Alex said. Michael nodded and took a deep breath. “Feel good to breathe fresh air?”

“Something like that.”

The drive out to the desert to get to where Max was was spent with nothing but the sound of his tires on the road and Michael murmuring to himself. Alex couldn’t tell if he talked to himself quieter when he took his medication or if Alex had just been so on edge when they first met that he seemed to be louder. It didn’t really matter, honestly.

They pulled up next to Isobel’s car. She was already standing outside of it, looking gorgeous for no reason as she waited for them and gave them that charming smile. She was doing good for a woman who had one dead brother and another brother who was stuck in an alternate dimension. Still, she hugged Other Michael like he was the real thing and Alex didn’t know who it benefited more.

Alex hung back for a moment as the kind of siblings walked in to see Max. Isobel had filled Other Michael in more on the logistics of his death before and how they were working on bringing him back to life. While Michael never offered to help, Alex had a suspicion that he probably could be extremely helpful. The problem was that he was scared of himself, of what he could do. All that did was cause Alex to have more questions.

He wanted to help Michael get more comfortable using his powers‒though maybe not as comfortable as his Michael was‒but it was easier said than done. He couldn’t be his therapist, but he could be his friend. So he just had to treat him nicely and hope he realized he wasn’t scary.

Alex leaned against the car and thought about his Michael for the billionth time. He was always on his mind, it was nothing new. Every day that past, it got a little more normal for him to be there and it hurt Alex each time. He was utterly terrified that he would never get him back. And, if he didn’t, what did that mean?

More importantly, if he did, what did that mean?

He missed him and regularly found himself dreaming about him, about them, only to wake up alone. Part of him was wondering if he should get used to this and try to find someone interesting to love. Another part wondered if he should settle for the version of Michael right in front of him who willingly melted into his hands.

Was that wrong?

Eventually, Alex pushed off the car and walked into the cave. Michael and Isobel were both zoned out as they stared at the pod Max was in from their spot sitting on the ground. He was pretty sure they were trying to reach Max in his mindscape to see if there was anything to salvage. 

So Alex sat back and waited and wondered if this was the new normal.

-

“So, I know you’ve been rationing your meds.”

It’d been well over a month and Alex was ready to explode. Other Michael had apparently fixed the fucking portal, but he said they couldn’t try it yet because it wasn’t the right time. Alex was slowly beginning to think it never would be.

When he wasn’t in the bunker, he was with Max. He was still in the pod, but apparently his brain was working well enough that they could bring him into the mindscape. He was getting to know him that way and it seemed to make him feel better. Did it make Alex feel better? Absolutely not, but he was used to that by now.

Now, however, he was ready to be a little selfish and do something that was specifically to benefit him. And that meant learning more.

Michael looked up from the notebook he was always scribbling into and stood up a little straighter. Alex would never get over how strange his thin body looked in clothes that were baggy on even his Michael. 

“So I got you something,” Alex said.

“Another prescription?” Michael asked. Alex huffed a laugh.

“Sorry, no, but,” Alex said, fishing the joint he’d taken off of Maria out of his pocket, “Maybe this will help?” Michael stared at it blankly, not a single ounce of recognition on his face. Alex laughed. “It’s a joint, you dork. Weed? Marijana? Satan’s gateway to your soul?”

A small smile formed on his face and it was infinitely more innocent than anything his Michael had ever done. Alex was charmed as always. There was just something about him that didn’t make sense. He was both horrifically tortured in his mind in ways no one could imagine while also being relentlessly innocent. It was fascinating.

“Can’t that make me worse?” Michael asked, focusing back on his notebook.

“I mean, possibly,” Alex said, taking a few steps closer, “But it helps a lot of people. Might help you.”

“What happens if I do react badly?” Michael wondered softly, almost like he could tell how close Alex had gotten to him. And, knowing him, he probably could. Alex bumped his shoulder into his.

“Then I’ll be right there,” Alex said. A deep blush rose to his cheeks like it always did and Alex couldn’t help the smile that took over his face.

Michael eventually dropped his pen and he followed him to the air mattress. They both sat down and Michael curled in on himself like always. Alex put the rolled joint between his lips and pulled a lighter out of his pocket.

“Wait!” Mciahel said. Alex looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Is it safe to do it in an enclosed space?”

“What, you’ve never heard of hotboxing?” Alex asked. Other Michael stared at him until he laughed. “Yes, it’s safe.”

He lit the joint and took a deep breath, trying to force it to calm him faster than he knew was logical. Michael watched him before taking it and trying to copy him. He coughed a few times and Alex laughed before showing him again. Eventually, he was able to take a hit without choking and they relaxed. It was strange to smoke with a different version of his Michael, but, then again, wasn’t everything strange with him?

“You doing okay?” Alex asked him. He nodded his head and Alex reminded himself to take the questions slow. He couldn’t jump right in with the prodding. “Good. My Michael thought he was so cool when we were young ‘cause he smoked.”

“From all the stories you’ve told, I can believe that.”

“Yeah,” Alex sighed, “I miss him.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael said. Alex shook his head and took another hit.

“Don’t be,” he insisted, “But, uh, do you know exactly when it’ll be ready to go?”

“No,” Michael said. His guilt was obvious in his voice and on his face, but Alex still didn’t understand why. What were they fucking waiting for?

“You sure you’ll know when it’ll be time?” Alex asked as nicely as he could, “Like, what goes into the timing?”

Michael shrugged, “It’s a psychic feeling. I felt it when I came over the first time. It’s like things click because we’re mirroring each other. It’s like, uh, like Deja Vu, I guess, but a little different. I’ll just know because it’ll feel right.”

“Okay,” Alex sighed, “I trust you.”

“I’m sorry.”

Alex shook his head again. He did trust him. Granted, he didn’t really have a choice. Not trusting him meant not accepting his help. Alex took a deep breath as he tried to find a way to lead into the topic of his trauma.

“I just, I don’t know. He was with me through so much. So much bad shit has happened and I’ve had him through all of it, it’s hard to go through things without him, you know?” Alex said, tilting his head in Other Michael’s direction. His face got a little serious and he nodded, taking the world’s saddest hit from the joint.

“I know,” he whispered, resting his head against the wall, “I think about my Max and Isobel all the time. I wish I had them here with me.”

“Why didn’t they make it out with you anyway?” Alex asked casually. He knew why.

“Like I said, I’m weak,” Michael said, huffing a sad little laugh. Alex watched him, waiting for him to elaborate without being pushed. Eventually, he did. “Max was ridiculously strong and his specialty was electricity. We were almost 16 when he got in trouble again, he always got in trouble, and they, well, I don’t know what they did. I wasn’t there when they did it, but whatever it was set him off. He shut down the whole building we were in and I remember just hearing people screaming. One of the head doctors ran into the room I was in and grabbed me and we went into the panic room. We were in there for, like, three hours at least. When we came out, half the staff had been scorched to death, nothing left but ashes, and Max’s system had given out because of over use.”

“Jesus,” Alex breathed. Michael looked up, blinking away tears from his eyes and he swallowed hard.

“Isobel and I made a deal after that. We’d stick together. Be on our best behavior and wait for a way out,” Michael said definitively, nodding his head, “And we were. We kept getting stronger which they liked. Then they started letting us in on what the plans were. We were going to be military weapons. Who needs nuclear bombs when you can just introduce a pretty white girl to a foreign city and then have her single handedly annihilate all of them.” Michael shook his head and scoffed. “Neither of us bought into it, but it hurt to hear. Isobel got upset when we were 18 and said she refused which meant she got punished. But she fought back. I remember they dragged her away kicking and screaming and I just sat there and let them. I just… sat there and let them. I didn’t even try to help. She didn’t come back.”

“What do you mean she didn’t come back? What did they tell you happened to her?” Alex asked. Michael smiled sadly.

“They didn’t. If I asked, I got in trouble. If I said her name, I got punished. So I stopped saying her name,” Michael said. Alex started to feel really bad about trying to learn about this. “They started being really hard on me after that ‘cause I was the only one left.”

“How did you get away?” Alex asked softly.

“Told you, I’m weak,” he said, sighing and graciously taking the joint from Alex’s fingers, “I did what they said until someone else came in to help me. Dr. Wyatt snuck in to help me escape, but I was too scared. But he promised he’d help me, I just had to help him. He told me what to do. I just did the dirty work.” Michael moved his finger in a circle and tilted his head to the side as if to insinuate that he killed them all.

“Oh my God,” Alex breathed. 

“But Dr. Wyatt put me through school and therapy and helped me get a job, got me out of New Mexico, made me a citizen because I wasn’t documented before,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulder, “So I deal. Even if I can’t talk to the gorgeous barista that has my order memorized.”

Alex tried to force a soft laugh even though his heart felt heavy with his admissions. It felt even heavier whenever Alex immediately started wondering what kind of testing they did on him. He was pretty sure he could keep those to himself, though. 

On a happy note, though, this was more than Other Michael ever talked. Maybe he should get him high more often.

“Well, you’re talking to someone like him now,” Alex pointed out. Michael lulled his head to face him and, for the first time, made eye contact. 

“I missed out on so much, though,” Michael said, “A childhood, social interaction, everything. I can’t go anywhere without thinking about it for days first or already knowing how it works. I eat the same things, I go to the same places, I do the same things. I got out of a prison, but I’m still so stuck in a routine that I can’t shake. You know I’m almost 29 and I’ve never even been kissed?”

Alex looked at every inch of his face, taking in every similarity and every difference from his Michael. He was so distinctly different. There was no confusing them for one another no matter how hard he tried.

“I can be your first kiss,” Alex offered. Michael’s face turned bright red and he looked away. “Seriously, I can. It’s not like it’d be weird. It would be more to, you know, get it out of the way with someone who has pretty much already kissed you.”

Michael swallowed and looked everywhere except Alex. Until he did.

“Okay.”

“And you’re sure?”

“Yeah.

Michael’s face was still red. Alex just grinned at him. This he could do. It wouldn’t fix all the bad things he dragged up, but it would be a happy little release at the end of the conversation. They both took one last hit off the joint before Alex stubbed it out and turned to the man in question. He reached up and put his hand on his cheek, feeling how he felt so hot it damn near burned his skin.

When Alex tried to press a kiss to his lips, he just met tense, overly puckered lips. He tried not to laugh as he sat there, hoping Michael would stop having his mouth like that. However, that didn’t happen and they both pulled away with a laugh.

“You need to relax,” Alex told him, laughing easily and using his thumb to rub all the tension out of his lips. Michael was so red he was probably about to pass out from lightheadedness. 

“I wasn’t ready,” he laughed, lying through his teeth before he told the truth, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Don’t think about it too hard, just channel your inner Drew Barrymore and be kissable,” Alex told him. Michael’s eyes went comically wide.

“What does that even mean?”

“Oh my god, you’re so uncultured, we’re watching Never Been Kissed after this,” Alex said, scooting closer. Michael laughed genuinely for probably the first time ever and Alex took that as his sign. He closed the space between them again and it went a lot smoother that time since he was relaxed. 

Alex led the way, but he took it slow and Michael followed at the same pace. Michael lifted his hand and gently gripped his arm, pulling him close. It definitely didn’t feel like his Michael. There was no big spark, no mind-numbing perfection, no desire to keep him there or his life would fall apart in his wake. But it wasn’t bad. It was like kissing a friend.

The kiss slowly ended and they stayed close. Alex was about to make a joke again, but Michael, surprising him for another time that night, spoke first.

“Can you help me with something?” Michael asked.

“You know I will.”

“Can you get me a dead car battery?” 

Alex raised an eyebrow as he pulled away, but he couldn’t say no to his eager face so just said yes.

Within the next 24 hours, Alex found himself watching an impressive act. Michael used his hands as defibrillators. He didn’t scream like Max, he just focused and did it. When Max breathed his first breath of life again, Michael quickly turned his attention to the car battery. All of the negative energy that came from that was then transferred into something meant to hold electricity instead of letting it fester. 

Alex didn’t have the words for how proud he was.

-

“Are you going to miss him when he’s gone?”

“Yeah, but I want the real Michael back.”

Alex dipped his fry into his milkshake, feeling extra tired. He’d been a little too okay recently. He and Other Michael were good friends and they talked a lot. Alex ended up telling him his life story out of guilt for prying out his and they bonded over their trauma. It was nice to have someone to talk to and who talked back and there was no pity.

But then it hit him that he was still very lonely and that note that was just a ton of I love yous still was beneath the pillow where he still slept in his ex-boyfriend’s bed after two goddamn months. So now he was sad and longing for Michael to be back even though he felt guilty for wanting to send Other Michael back to a place where he would be alone.

“What are you going to do when he comes back? Just act like you guys weren’t fighting before he left?” Isobel asked. Alex sighed slowly and shrugged his shoulders.

“No, we’re gonna talk. I’ve really learned how to talk recently,” Alex admitted. Isobel raised an eyebrow and he rolled his eyes. “I have.”

“With the Other Michael?”

“Yeah, with him,” he said, “Maybe that’s what he’s here for.”

“To teach you how to talk to another person?”

“Yes.”

Isobel just laughed to herself, but she didn’t argue. They both finished up their meal and started to head back to the bunker where Max already was. However, they were shocked when they got into the bunker and Michael looked at them with wild eyes.

“It’s time,” he said, “I can feel it, it’s time.”

And things moved too fast. Michael started turning knobs and Max and Isobel called Liz and Maria. It was all too fast, so fast Alex barely found time to grab Other Michael’s arm and stop him so they could talk.

“Are you gonna stop long enough to say goodbye?” Alex asked. Michael looked at him with wide eyes.

“But it’s time,” he said, “Aren’t you ready to get him back?”

“Yes,” Alex said honestly, “But you still have to say goodbye. I mean, we’ve spent two months together. Are you even ready to go home? Are you going to be okay?”

Michael gave a small smile and he nodded, eyes not quite on Alex’s but close enough.

“I’ll be okay,” he told him, “All I wanted was to see Max and Isobel again and I have. And this version of them is happier than the ones I would’ve met if I went back in my own timeline. So I think it was fate.”

“But aren’t you going to be lonely?” Alex asked. He didn’t know why he was asking. He didn’t know why it sounded like he didn’t want him to go. Michael just pulled him into a hug that Alex reciprocated easily.

“I think I’m finally gonna talk to that barista,” Michael said softly. Alex huffed a laugh and squeezed him.

“I hope it works out.”

“I know it will,” Michael insisted, “I’m meant for him like your Michael’s meant for you. I can feel it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I’m a lot of things, but wrong is rarely one of them.”

With a laugh, Alex pulled away and did his best not to cry. He still wasn’t sure why he was so upset. It was just… so fast. And yet not fast enough.

Michael said his goodbyes and then, in the most unceremonious of fashions, stepped through the portal.

And another stepped back out.

Alex lunged forward to catch him, checking over his body for any sign that he was hurt and they clung to each other. It was unreal how much he could feel that it was his man just by the way his body felt against his. He missed him more than he had words for.

Very reluctantly Alex let everyone hug him too and, for the next few hours, just hovered close as they all caught up with him after only a few minutes alone. It wasn’t enough. He needed hours alone with him. Days. Weeks.

There was so much lost time and he was okay. He wasn’t taking this for granted again. He refused.

That night, they found themselves in the airstream and Michael immediately noticed that Alex had been staying there.

“That is weirdly romantic,” Michael, his Michael, said as he sat on the bed. Alex laughed and just reached out to touch his face. Michael leaned into it just like the Other Michael, but it felt different. It was different. This… this was cosmic.

“I love you,” Alex admitted.

“And I love you,” he said, tugging his hips down to his lap. Alex immediately kissed him and it felt like breathing again at the feeling of his lips. When they laid back, though, it was impossible to miss the crinkling of that note. 

Michael reached for it and an embarrassed expression fell over his features as he realized what it was. Alex just took it and leaned in for another kiss. That note had kept him going for the last two months and he was going to treasure it. It was nothing to be embarrassed about.

“I’ve learned a thing or two since you left,” Alex said, “And one of them was all about talking through shit. Saw the other version of you do a lot of extraordinary things after talking through shit. So we’re going to do that, okay?”

“Okay,” Michael said, his tone telling him to continue.

“And in this note you said you’d treat me better in another life. Can’t it be this one?”

Michael stared up at him, something in his eyes that Alex couldn’t quite place. He hoped that he one day would be able to place it.

But, for right now, he was happy that he was home.

“It will be this one. But it’s you, Alex, it’s always been you.”

And, between him and the Other Michael, Alex knew it was the truth.

[nikxation]

If You Give a Mothman a Loan

Huge thank you to @birdgirlamp for commissioning me to write a fic by donating to WHO (if you want more information, see this post). Sorry it took so long to get this out, but here it is! Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 2359

Characters: Stanford Pines (pre- and post-portal), Fiddleford McGucket (pre-portal), Wendy Corduroy (post-portal... obviously)

~ ~ ~

It’s three months into Fiddleford’s stay in Gravity Falls, and the skeleton in the closet (or the portal in the basement) is slowly looking less and less like just a bundle of messy wires and half-finished structural supports and more like the behemoth of a machine it’s meant to be. The raw stock for the exterior plating should be here any day now, the first of the two power transfer beams is online, and every day is another day closer to their end-goal.

He’ll hand it to Stanford Pines, this is some of their best work yet.

He still remembers the day he arrived and Ford showed him the initial drafts. He’d thought the size was overkill, that the hollowed-out basement beneath the house would just become a room with decent acoustics for him to practice his banjo playing away from his old college roommate while the real machine was built somewhere less cold and damp.

Boy howdy was he wrong.

Now, every time he walks in the room, he feels the thing like the presence it is, towering stories tall, looming over him in a way that he would almost consider menacing if it weren’t for the fact that it’s just a machine.

He’s got blueprints and prototyped miniatures of literal death bots.

So why would the interdimensional portal in the basement put him on edge?

It shouldn’t.

So he shakes the thought away and gets back to work.

An unsuccessful system test led to the time-shift circuit on motherboard seven incinerating again. If he were the kind of man to actually keep count (which he certainly is), he’d know it’s the fourth time in the past week this same part has crapped out on them.

It’s also the reason he’s gonna finally stop out-sourcing these parts and just start making them in-house from now on. He’s about sick of replacing them every five minutes.

That’s what brings Fiddleford to where he is now, with his upper body shoved halfway inside the portal’s support structure and crammed between God knows how many electrical components. His arms have just started to cramp in their rather unnatural position as he pries at the burnt-out part to replace it with a newer one that will hopefully hold out against the power output better than its predecessor.

Ford’s sitting in the control room, supposedly running through some of the math again to double-check that they didn’t miss anything.

The “supposedly” is only because, for the past twenty minutes, the man has been prattling on like Fiddleford’s grandma at Sunday family brunch. He can only hear the occasional snippet from his position (quite literally) inside the portal, and as far as he can tell, he thinks he’s talking about either his most recent research outing, or something about preacher scouting. He wants to lean towards the former, but with the new stories he’s found about a so-called “velocipastor”, he can’t rule out the latter. Either way, the man hasn’t stopped talking long enough to breathe, let alone re-run equations that use relative space-time physics with integrated fourth dimensional calculus.

Fiddleford just doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he really can’t hear him.

He snaps the ribbon cable off the still-smoking component (after the first time it blew, he learned to bring heat-resistant gloves in here with him) and is rather glad to see it’s still intact. Rewiring is a day-long project he’s glad to not have to do again. He maneuvers his hand back out into open air and tosses the old piece somewhere into the room before getting to work mounting the new one.

Ford’s voice echoes from the next room over.

“… extra funds… exploring… investing for…”

Bolting the circuit down turns out to be easier the fifth time he has to do it, and he’s about to start running a simple, probably non-exploding test to make sure the new part is integrated correctly when he hears—

“… so I gave Mothman a thousand dollars…”

And that, of all things, stops Fiddleford in his tracks.

“Come again?” he yells. He had to have misheard because he swears he just heard the man say—

“I ran into Mothman in the woods yesterday,” Ford says, all too nonchalantly, “and they told me they were starting up a small business and needed an investment, so I gave them a thousand dollars from my excess funds with a verbal agreement that they would pay me back within the year.”

… So he didn’t mishear him, that’s for darn sure.

The fact that the Mothman is real is surely weird enough. But he’s lived in Gravity Falls (and known Stanford Pines) for long enough that it doesn’t really surprise him too much. No, that’s not the part that brings him to wiggle himself out of his position inside the portal’s underbelly just enough so that he can meet Ford’s eyes in the other room.

“You gave Mothman… a thousand dollars…” Fiddleford says slowly.

“To help kickstart their new business, yes.” It’s so casual, like he doesn’t even register the inherent absurdity in what he’s saying.

“And that business is?”

“Mothballs.”

“Stanford!”

“What?”

“That’s the stupidest scam I’ve ever heard.”

Ford sputters, his face aghast for a moment. “I did not get scammed by Mothman!”

“You did.”

“Did not.”

“Do you even know what mothballs are for?”

He pauses, his mouth snapping shut, his face turning the slightest shade of red. Fiddleford can see it from the next room over. “No. I always assumed they were some biproduct created by moths during reproduction or something.” Fiddleford lets his head fall back, bonking on a bar of the steel framework behind him.

“Stanford, they repel moths,” he says. “You just let a bunch of moths convince you they’re starting a business making the thing they hate. That’s stupider than the time my neighbor tried to convince me his cat could see God. And you have three PhDs!”

“Four now,” he says quietly, and Fiddleford levels him with a single raised eyebrow.

“You’re gonna go back, find that over-glorified insect, and get our money back. Or so help me, I will never do another grocery run for as long as I live here.”

“Oh come now, that’s hardly fair. You know I hate going into town.”

“Then you better hurry along and find him.”

“You honestly believe the actual Mothman is pulling a con.”

“People lie, Stanford,” he says, finally ducking himself back into the machine to finally run the diagnostic on the new circuit. “Even cryptids and aliens probably from another dimension.”

There’s a moment of silence, but it’s broken a few moments later by the sound of a chair scuffing on the floor and footsteps ascending the wooden stairs out of the basement.

Fiddleford snorts, shaking his head and getting back to work.

~ ~ ~

“So, like, the Mothman,” Wendy says, keeping pace next to him as they make their way back into the woods, the sun’s last rays just starting to slip behind the trees. “The actual Mothman. He’s real?”

“As real as any of the other anomalies in this town,” Ford says, adjusting the strap of the bag slung over his shoulder. He’d heard the cryptid had come back into town again shortly after Wierdmageddon, and after his first attempt at getting his money back a few weeks back (second if you count that time over three decades ago) went sour, he decided to bring back-up this time. But with Stan still out of commission and the kids rightly wanting to stay with him, he was hard-pressed for options. That is until the cashier girl piped up and said she’d do it for ten percent of whatever they recovered.

Ford negotiated her down to eight and a half. She drives a hard bargain; he can see why Stan hired her.

“Dude, that’s sick,” she says.

“I mean, I hardly think they’re ill or anything,” Ford says. “As fast as their moths die off, they re-introduce new ones to the population through some sort of reproductive mitosis—”

“Nah dude, it’s a phrase,” she cuts him off. “Means, like, ‘that’s awesome’.”

“Ah, alright.” Ford pauses to check the anomaly scanner on his watch, the little white blip flashing on the screen. “I’ve never been exceptionally ‘with it’ when it comes to slang, so you’ll have to pardon my misunderstanding.”

“You’re fine, Dr. Pines,” she says. She kicks a loose rock off into the brush. “I’m pretty sure Stan doesn’t understand half of what I say either.” Ford hums an affirmative, intently watching the small blip on his watch, confirming that it is, in fact, slowly moving in their direction. After a few seconds, he drops the bag he’s been carrying with a thwump, a bit of dust swirling up from the dirt.

“We’re going to set up the trap right here,” he says. “We have probably ten minutes until the Mothman comes through here, so we’ll need to act quickly.”

“You got it boss-man.”

It’s a fairly simple net trap, one that they make short work of assembling. Ford had already built the majority of it to bring out here, including a magic-imbued mosquito net that should contain the Mothman’s consciousness so long as they catch the majority of their moths.

He made that mistake last time, the Mothman managing to escape in the couple moths that his trap missed.

“So, you really were in, like, a different dimension for a bunch of years, right?” Wendy asks as she spreads some leaves and twigs over the net.

“Multiple dimensions,” he says as he carefully sets the trap’s trigger pole. “I travelled through thousands of them in my thirty years away from this one.”

“Dude, that’s nuts.”

“It was… pretty sick,” he says, shooting her a wry grin. Wendy groans.

“Well,” she says, “you just confirmed for me that I was right to never teach Stan slang, so thanks for that I guess.”

“Glad to help.” With the trap finally set and ready to go, he pulls the last item out of the bag: the bait, which he flicks on and gently sets down against the trigger.

“That’s a flashlight,” Wendy says, the statement almost a question.

“Indeed, it is.”

“Is it, like,” she says, waving her hands slightly, “I don’t know, magic or something?”

“Nope,” he says, backing off and giving the trap one last look-over. He has to hand it to the girl, she knew what she was doing.

“You’re serious?”

“Entirely,” he says. “It doesn’t take much to attract them. Back in the eighties, they used to hang around streetlamps and windows all the time. It’s a wonder they’re still considered a cryptid considering how blatantly out in the open they—”

He hears the tell-tale sound of fluttering insect wings, not too far off, but loud enough to make him pause. He glances in the direction and then down at his watch, the blip on the screen almost on top of them. Quickly, he motions to Wendy to hide and then does the same himself, crouching behind the nearest tree and peering around the side to watch.

It’s rather quiet for a few moments, the darkness starting to settle into the pines, the lit flashlight a lone beacon, just the sound of the pine needles whistling in the breeze and the far-off humming of the approaching cryptid. But that low hum gradually gets louder, turning to a white drone of hundreds of small wings beating in tandem.

A familiar dark shape emerges from the underbrush. Humanoid, but just barely. Ten-feet tall with two enormous wings sprouting from its back, two large yellow eyes reflecting the scattered light of the flashlight in the clearing. Their entire shape feels blurred at the edges, like someone drew a line of charcoal and smudged it, the hundreds of moths that make up their body shifting and moving amongst each other in a din of small beating wings.

The Mothman.

Ford hates to admit that the thought still sends an excited shiver up his spine.

They emerge into the clearing, glancing around and taking an immediate interest in the flashlight lying on the ground. They approach it slowly, cautiously, glancing around as if waiting for the ambush, eventually making it onto the net before moving to bend down to pick up the flashlight.

They stop.

Ford holds his breath.

“Stanford Pines,” a voice says, the sound a high whine broken up and mixed with soft clicking. The Mothman stands back upright, snapping its eyes right in his direction. Immediately, Ford’s mind starts swirling with potential fallback options to try to turn this in their favor. “Surprised you’re still alive after last week. Really think we’re stupid enough to fall for—”

“Suck mothballs, lamp licker!” Wendy screams from across the clearing, the Mothman whipping around just as a projectile of some sort (is that an axe?) flies out of the underbrush and hits the trap’s trigger dead-on, sending the net shooting upwards and capturing almost all of the moths above it. A shrill screech fills the air from the now-dangling mass of moths, but Ford is too busy gaping at the cashier girl as she emerges from her hiding spot.

“Nice shot, Wendy!” he beams, shaking off the shock and coming out to join her on either side of the now-enraged Mothman. She shrugs, retrieving the axe from off the ground and sliding it back into her belt loop behind her back.

“No biggie. My dad enters me into the annual axe-throwing competition every year. I’ve won the last 5 in a row.” Ford, having not known anything about this girl before today, is rather stunned. He certainly was not expecting that from the teen, let alone the nonchalance over it. “But anywho,” she says, turning her attention to the writhing mass in front of them. “About that money…”

~ ~ ~

About two hours after they left, Ford and Wendy arrive back at the Mystery Shack, Ford heading to the back of the house to find Stan and the kids, Wendy collecting her things and heading back out to go home, a crisp one-hundred dollar bill tucked into her pocket.

[hermannsthumb]

you know how hermann finding The Tape is like, a popular fic prompt? imagine newt listening to the tape, after the breach is closed only to find out it kept recording after he passed out? imagine newt listening to hermanns frantically confessing his love to him :^)

god ive seen the opposite (hermannn finding the tape with love confession from newt on it) but THIS.....IS A GREAT IDEA

---------------------------

“I’m not dying, Newton,” Hermann says. “Don’t be so melodramatic. It’s standard procedure, is all.” He shifts a little under his stiff medical-issued blanket, and blinks at Newt hazily; the pain meds they gave him have made him crazy out of it. A bit loopy. Unbalanced. Newt had to help him into his pajamas today, and that was enough blushing mortification for a life time, thank you. “I’ll be out--oh--tomorrow, I reckon.”

“Standard procedure, my ass,” Newt scoffs. “If that was true, I’d be in here with you.”

Hermann shuts his mouth and, wisely, doesn’t push the point. Probably because he knows Newt’s right. They both drifted with the kaiju brain, after all--shit, Newt drifted with one twice, practically fried his brain to smithereens the first time. Geiszler served over-hard. If anyone should be doomed to an overnight medical stay, it’s him. Hell--a week-long medical stay. Instead he’s being sent away with nothing more than an MRI, a pat on the head, and instructions to never fucking do that again, and meanwhile Hermann is being imprisoned for a whole twenty-four hours. Fucking ridiculous. Newt’s half-considering raising a fuss and insisting on being admitted to the bed beside Hermann’s just to keep him company.

“It’s nausea,” Hermann says. “Merely nausea. And--ah--” He lifts one hand, slowly, like he forgot he had one, and raps his knuckles against his temple. “Bit of a nasty headache.”

Hermann has always had a predilection to migraines, the brutal kind that leave him groaning in the dark for hours on end while Newt hangs, tentatively, out of sight, and they’re usually set off when he’s particularly stressed or overwhelmed by something. Usually work-related. Newt thinks hooking your mind up to an alien hivemind counts as a pretty intense stressor. “They merely want to keep me under observation to ensure it’s nothing more serious.”

Newt bites his lip; he shrugs. He still doesn’t like the sound of it, but he’d rather know one-hundred-percent Hermann’s okay. “I guess.”

Hermann gives him a rare smile. It crinkles the corner of his eyes and makes Newt’s heart race just a bit faster. “Go on, now, make yourself useful. Tidy the bloody lab. Oh--get started on our paperwork, why don’t you? Don’t sit around moping for my sake.” He pats Newt’s hand. “It’s terribly unbecoming for a rock star.”

The nurse at the front desk, when Newt badgers him, echoes Hermann’s sentiments exactly: no, Dr. Gottlieb isn’t dying, Dr. Geiszler, don’t be silly, both of your scans came back sparkling, overnight observation is just to ensure the headache and nausea aren’t something more serious (which we’re almost completely sure it isn’t), you can come pick him back up tomorrow morning at seven. Okay?

“Okay,” Newt sighs.

He casts a forlorn glance back at Hermann. “I’ll come back with dinner,” he says, weakly. 

The nurse coughs. “Actually, Dr. Geiszler, I’m afraid there’s no outside food allowed.”

“Right,” Newt says. “Bye, Hermann.”

“Paperwork,” Hermann calls to him.

No one’s been in the lab since before the whole Breach-bombing extravaganza, a whole forty-eight hours, and Newt can’t help but be a bit unsettled by it later that evening when he finally rolls up his sleeves and trudges down dutifully to get a crack on Hermann’s requests. It’s too quiet--too stagnant--like some sort of weird memorial to a lifestyle that’s now as obsolete as the kaiju. There’s a half-finished mug of coffee on Hermann’s desk (the milk gone curdled); Newt’s filthy work tools still in the industrial sink; a bit of kaiju intestine hanging off his work bench, decaying at an alarming rate; Hermann’s last equation, unfinished, on the chalkboard--what he was calculating Newt guesses he’ll never know.

“It smells like shit in here,” Newt declares to no one.

The paperwork about the, uh, legality of their drift Hermann was so eager for him to complete is nowhere to be found--probably because the entire fucking ‘dome is on an unofficial ‘we didn’t die!’ vacation, except for him, and no one has the time to deliver paperwork to two weirdo scientists in the basement--so Newt decides to start cleaning instead.

That’s maybe misleading. Newt does decide to clean, but he never actually follows through on that decision, because he immediately gets distracted by all the fun and interesting stuff in Hermann’s desk. The dude keeps, like, a million Rubik’s cubes on hand. All solved. A miniature chess set Newt thinks they played together once on a slow day. An entire drawer-full of those weird British digestives he likes so much that he almost definitely purchased on the black market. There’s even a photograph of Newt in there--the two of them, together, probably at some Shatterdome party, Newt holding a beer and smiling cheekily at a blushing, disgruntled Hermann.

It’s...kinda cute, actually. Newt props the frame up on Hermann’s desk over a somber Gottlieb family photograph. It deserves to be displayed.

Once he’s exhausted Hermann’s desk, he moves to his side of the lab and actually starts cleaning. He tosses out the decaying entrails--suddenly wishing, a bit sadly, that he’d taken better care of his kaiju specimens, because they just got even rarer--and rinses down Hermann’s grody coffee mug as he debates out what to do with the leftover pile of junk from his drift machine. He also wishes he’d planned ahead and made a back-up: the UN seized Newt’s machine from the Bone Slums milliseconds after Mako and Becket’s escape pods popped out of the ocean, and he has a feeling he won’t ever be seeing it again. Oh well. It had a fucking awesome run.

He’s just finishing washing out Hermann’s mug and setting it on the drying rack when he pauses; his tape recorder is on the kitchenette counter.

Newt recalls his almost-parting message to Hermann with something like guilt. At the time, he’d meant it... Well, he’s not sure how he meant it. As a joke? A weird, superstitious way of ensuring his drift would be successful, because he couldn’t possibly die with last words that bad? He’s not sure he would’ve said it if he knew what Hermann would be doing for him in a few short hours. Frankly, he’s not sure he would’ve said it if he thought about it for more than five minutes.

He wonders if Hermann listened to it.

A bit of the plastic is cracked. Newt thinks he must’ve knocked it to the floor when he started, uh, spasming, and Hermann probably picked it up before he got Newt a glass of water, which could be how it migrated here. He could’ve listened to it then. He could’ve listened to it when Newt headed out to meet Chau, and Hermann sent him off with the awkwardest little hug of all time and a quiet, terse little “Don’t get yourself killed.” He could’ve listened to it before he hopped on a helicopter to the Bone Slums to risk his life for Newt. He could’ve snuck back into the lab without Newt knowing and listened to it any time yesterday, in fact.

Newt rewinds a little and presses play. Despite the crack, it still works.

“Unscientific aside,” he hears himself say, “Hermann...”

He listens to the rest of his message in morbid fascination. Three, two, one--

The loud clatter of the recorder hitting the floor, then the even louder one of Newt hitting the floor. A prolonged period of loud, pained gasps. Before Newt can switch it off, suddenly, to his surprise, there’s Hermann’s voice, out-of-his-mind, frantic--saying his name--what have you done?--low, terrified murmurs of no, no, no--

The sound of the helmet being ripped from Newt’s head and thrown, violently, to the floor. “Don’t,” Hermann stammers, “Newton--you stupid, stupid man--you can’t leave, I--” Fast, panicked breathing. “I love you, you stupid--”

The tape runs out, and cuts Hermann off mid-sentence.

Newt sets the recorder down with shaking hands.

“Oh,” he says.

He knows, in the vaguest sense, that Hermann harbors a regard for him that matches Newt’s regard for Hermann to some degree--he got enough of that in the drift, in Hermann’s too-long too-shy lingering glances across the lab, his too-long too-shy lingering touches, the way he never smiles for anyone but Newt--but hearing it spoken so blatantly out in the open like that makes Newt’s heart race and his stomach feel a little funny, like it’s being twisted up in knots. 

Hermann loves him. Like, loves him, loves him. 

It’s late, which means there’s only one nurse on duty in medical this time, and Newt manages to use his newfound rock star status to charm his way pass without a problem.

(“Pleeease,” he whined. “Please, please, please--”

“Fine,” the nurse snapped. “But if you annoy Dr. Gottlieb, you’re out of here.”)

He finds Hermann where he left him, conked out in one of the stiff beds with his blankets and hair in disarray. There’s a little bit of drool on his chin. Newt wipes it away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, folds his glasses up on the nightstand, then--after glancing around to ensure the nurse isn’t looking, though it’s dark enough in here he doesn’t think anyone would be able to see him anyway--burrows underneath the bedcovers beside Hermann. It’s a tight squeeze, but they’ll fit.

Hermann stirs. "Newton?”

“Yeah,” Newt whispers. “It’s me.”

Hermann sniffs, then wraps an arm around Newt’s waist. “Jolly good,” he mumbles, sleepily. Newt smiles against his chest. Hermann loves him--how funny. “Do stay.”

“Of course,” Newt says. “You can go back to sleep, if you want.”

“Mm. Yes,” Hermann agrees.

Hermann’s breathing steadily evens out. Newt laces the fingers of his left hand with Hermann’s right, and--still smiling--drifts off to sleep, too.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #361

“the world is a vampire, sent to drain”

Have you ever been through a phase of thinking emo guys were hot? A phase? Hunny, they're still hot lmao. Have you ever dated someone that could play an instrument? Yeah. Juan could play guitar, and Girt played I think the tuba in band. What’s so horrible about wearing leggings like pants? I've actually never understood why people freak about this. Like so long as they're not sheer and fit you fine, why exactly is this a problem...? Weirdest picture you’ve ever taken of yourself? Oh dear. When someone claims to be suicidal, do you take them seriously? FUCK you if you don't. Honest to god, fuck you. This is NOT something you just don't even blink at. Even if it's surprising to hear from that person, you take that shit seriously and try to talk to them about it. Ever been kicked out of anywhere? Colleen's house. Ever had Skittles vodka? No, but that shit sounds good. Ever punched someone in the face? No. If you haven’t, do you want to now? Uh, I'll pass. Do you truly HATE anyone? No one I know personally, but people like rapists, pedophiles, etc., I sure as hell do hate them. Most historical/famous landmark/building you’ve been to in your country? No clue. Favorite flavor for most things? Strawberry, watermelon, or blue raspberry, depending on what the thing is. Ever taken pictures in a photobooth? Who with? Yeah: Summer, Jason, and I'm pretty sure Sara and I did? What is the closest book to you? It's a full collection of Poe's poetry that Mom got me. Are you reading it or someone else? I'm not right now. I may eventually. Milkshakes or Sundaes? Hm, I gotta go with milkshakes. Do you like watermelons more or cherries? I'm not a fan of either, but I'd definitely pick watermelons over cherries. Who was the last person you ate with? My family and I went to Ichiban (a Japanese steakhouse that we have here where they cook directly in front of you) yesterday to celebrate Nicole's graduation. Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Broccoli. I hate asparagus. Do you have any bug bites? No. Do you have any flowers in your room? No. Do you know anyone that owns horses? Loosely, anyway. It's a family I took pictures for, and I still have the mother on Facebook. When you were little, did you ever go to feed the ducks? Yes, I LOVED doing that. Don't feed ducks bread, by the way. Have you seen any of the seven wonders of the world in person? No. Have you ever won anything out of one of those crane machines? Yeah. Can you remember being taught how to ride a bike? Was it hard for you? Yeah. I don't THINK it was too hard. Did you get carded the last time you ordered an alcoholic drink? No. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? No, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. Which was the worst phase in your life? 2016 was. Towards the end of '15 was the breakup, and through aaaaaaall of 2016, I was just dead inside and totally useless. Every day I wanted to be dead. Can you remember your last dream? I had a nightmare some stupid kids were fucking with my snake Venus, so I was trying to protect her. Do you ever use Snapchat? No, I don't have one. What’s your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. What happened at the last party you went to? Summer prepared some little Halloween treat bags for us guests, we watched a horror movie, and everyone but me smoked some weed. Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down? I would assume everyone is more comfortable lying down... Have you ever been a fan of N*Sync? Yeah, as a kiddo. Favorite kind of cake: Red velvet, yum yum. What is your middle name? Marie. TV shows and anime you watch regularly: None. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Just a big family of pets with a spouse. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Oh boy, I couldn't tell ya. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? YAY!! I've had many, but I don't think I'll get any more. I've just had bad luck with them, save for one that died of cancer at an old age. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yeah. I haven't really written any big RP posts of the late, but I did recently write a poem. Are needles something that you’re afraid of? Okay, so this is super weird. Tattoos and piercings? No problem. Little prick, getting blood drawn, that sorta little stuff, no problem. I am, however, NOT a fan of big needles, which used to not be an issue. It's actually kinda recent, and it's why I'm nervous about my second Covid shot coming up, aha... What was the last unexpected hug you gave/received? I really haven't had an unexpected hug since Jason asked for one before he left my house after our final talk. Who was the last person you held hands with? Either my niece or nephew. Have you ever been in a parade before? If so, was it on TV? No. Do you have a fear of rollercoasters? If so, were you ever forced to go on one? If you don’t, what is your favorite rollercoaster? I have a big fear of them, yeah. Post a picture of you from a recent time. Don't feel like it. Who was the last person to give you some of their food? Miss Tobey let me try one of her dumplings yesterday when we were at Ichiban for dinner. The last person you met, what was your first impression of them? I actually didn't quite like her. Have you ever been to a football game? Yeah, because my sister was a cheerleader. Do you like the snow or rain better? Snowwww. Have you ever faked sick? Yeah. What is your blood-type? A-. Have you ever eaten a bug? Not knowingly. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Salsa. Mom got these veggie chips at the store and they apparently taste better with salsa, which it did. They weren't great, though. Are you listening to anything at the moment? It's Gab Smolders' turn for me to watch her Resident Evil 8 upload, haha. I'm literally watching three different people (Mark, John Wolfe, and her) play it. Can you take a bra off with one hand? I haven't tried, I think? I doubt I could, given that I'm not exactly small. Do you have an innie or an outie bellybutton? Innie. Can you crack your neck? NOOOOO AND DO NOT DO IT AROUND ME YOURSELF. Are you donating your organs? Yeah; what am I gonna use 'em for? It just seems like a waste otherwise. They're just gonna decay. When was the last time you talked to you mom? Before she left with Tobey to go to the store. Do you like pumpkin pie? NO. I don't like pie, and I hate pumpkin. Do you own your own computer? Yeah. Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? Yeah; growing up, my little sister and I did. Is there any piece of technology you want to buy? I REALLY want a PS4. Did you ever have a night light when you were a kid? Yeah. What TV show had you hooked from the very first episode? Meerkat Manor, 100%. I had to know that Shakespeare was okay. What is your least favorite Sour Patch Kids color? Orange or red, can't pick. Have you ever seen the movie Matilda? YES! I love that movie. What is the weirdest chant you have ever heard? Uh, idk. How are you feeling? Annoyed and hurt as fuck because shit Miss Tobey says without thinking for a single goddamn second. I'm honestly beyond sick of this woman. Do you know anyone with a unibrow? I don't think so. Doughy or saucy pizza? Doughy. Do you have anything that’s limited edition? Yeah. Do you have an air freshener in your bathroom? If so, what scent? I... think we do? If so though, I just don't notice it. The bathroom doesn't smell like anything in particular. Do you like Jalapeno Cheetos? Oh man, I forgot about those! Love 'em. Are you a fan of salads? Yeah, they're fine. I have to be in the mood for one, though. What’s one random thing that you don’t like? Uhhh carrots. What’s one random thing that you like? Shrimp. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I don't. Is it easy for you to accept loss? NOPE. I'm the absolute worst with it. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? I really wanna see Sara, so take me to Illinois. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No, but a former best friend had her birthday the day before mine. Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? Not anymore, honestly. After Jason, I stopped that "I can't live without you" mindset. Truth is I'm going to lose people through life, and I'm not attaching my ability to happily exist to anyone. Are you wearing a ring? Two. Have your friends ever stopped by your house just to say hi? In the past, yeah. Do you like Chinese food? Not really. I only ever get pork fried rice and eggrolls from Chinese restaurants. Have you done any shopping for something in specific recently? No. Do you still live in your hometown? No. What was the reason behind the last time you stayed up all night? I don't recall, honestly. I haven't done that in a very long time. Have you ever had a UFO sighting or a sighting of strange lights in the sky? A very strange light, yes. Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Yes to both. Seeing Mom drunk is very, very rare though. My dad was an alcoholic when I was growing up, so I saw him drunk plenty. Do your parents vote? Mom does, idk about Dad. Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? Jason. What restaurant has the best fries? Nowhere has anything on Bojangle's, y'all. Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? No.

[purplesurveys]

1147

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Hmm, I can’t remember ever doing that.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? My new manager, Kata, messaged me a bunch of links to EXO’s videos to get me into them – I looooove that she’s friendly and we vibe super well so I have a feeling will be close soon enough, but I’m still a bit shy so I ignored her for a bit while I was thinking of a reply haha. I’ve since gotten back to her, though.

What's your favorite pizza place? Yellow Cab’s pizzas have never failed me. Mama Lou’s is good too, but they don’t deliver to my area so I haven’t had their pizzas and any of their food in over a year now.

What was the last stupid thing someone talked you into believing? That we can stay friends. I believed it for a while and it was so mentally and emotionally deteriorating for me, so I did the right thing and let go instead.

What's at the top of your to do list in life? Save. I’m superrrrr frugal with my money and hate spoiling myself. I’d rather enjoy everything in the future once I feel like it’s right to settle down.

What's a song that would describe your life at the moment? What Type of X by Jessi. Maybe not my life, but the song certainly matches my mood these days.

Do you ever scream at inanimate objects? Occasionally, if they’re not working or if I accidentally hurt myself with them.

What was the last thing that you shared? I just had lunch delivered to Angela’s place as a surprise, if that counts. I got her chicken wings and these chocolate chip cookies she’s always wanted to try. It feels really nice surprising people with gifts; I might start making it a habit :) I have to credit my director Bea for it - she’s been having food delivered to mine and Kata’s places recently and I just want to pay it forward.

What smell/s can you absolutely not stand? Fruits. We constantly have a stock of oranges because my parents and sister like having them after dinner, and the smell is nauseating. Spoiled food is also high up on my list, and the general smell in Manila is also very foul. Go to other places in the Philippines if you’ll ever visit!!!

Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yessssssssssssssss. Idk why but I find it really good? like even if I eat it straight out of the fridge.

Where are you the most ticklish? The sides of my stomach and around my neck.

Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? Someone absolutely important to me, yes.

When you're wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? I usually don’t really like the snacks we have in our pantry so unless I already had food delivered earlier in the evening I just let the hunger fade because I don’t like having food delivered that late anyway.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Buster from Toy Story. Or Maximus from Tangled but in dog form, because I don’t know how to care for a horse.

What color best represents you? Something peaceful like off-white, or a pastel shade.

Do you like marshmallows? I hate them.

What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I also don’t like candy canes, or candy in general. Too sweet and I can always feel how unhealthy they are whenever I have to have them.

Do you have any shoeboxes full of old photos/letters/other memorable stuff? My mom has several plastic bags filled with photographs over the last few decades. As for me, I don’t own any memory boxes; but recently, I’ve been sticking up notes from my friends and co-workers up on my corkboard.

Are you in any way double jointed? Nope.

Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? Never. I never liked singing in public and I’ve never considered acting.

When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? A few days ago when I accidentally turned my camera on during a work Zoom meeting while I looked completely unpresentable. Luckily I knew I clicked the button and immediately un-clicked it, but my video still showed up for like 0.001 seconds lol.

Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? I don’t think I’ve gone so far as to hate it. I have felt slightly disturbed upon hearing the lyrics of some songs I’ve taken a liking to though; and Cherry Wine by Hozier certainly ticks off this box.

Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold? Hot, which is why living where I do doesn’t work with me well for the most part.

What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? Get nicer gifts for my loved ones. I was able to get everyone presents last Christmas, but given that I had just received my first-ever salary then, I wasn’t able to go all out as much as I would’ve liked. I’d love to spoil my loved ones even more for next Christmas.

If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Probably, as long as I was guaranteed to live comfortably. I’d love to see how else technology can continue to improve.

Have you made someone happy today? I hope so, when I got Angela food earlier.

Do you generally watch a lot of television? I do watch my favorite shows a lot, but not on television. Most of my content I already consume online.

If your bedroom walls could talk, what would they most likely say? They’d probably go over all the shit I had to go through and the ensuing breakdowns they’ve had to watch from me over the years.

What's your favorite Christmas song? It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas, because it makes me feel festive.

Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Only for a brief moment when I was introduced to the concept, but kid-me never bought it because he never showed up.

Do you like the band Relient K? I’ve heard of the band name but I’m largely unfamiliar with them.

Have you ever seen a movie that was better than the book it was based on? Maybe, but for the most part I usually find the books to be better.

Do you like quesadillas? Yes, omg and with jalapeños and cheese *chef’s kiss*

Did you like the show Invader Zim? Nope.

Do you think tomorrow will be a good day? I feel like I’ll be sullen because it will be Sunday again, but I still plan on making the most out of it.

Do you ever talk to yourself? A lot.

Whose butt did you last slap? Idk, probably my ex.

Do you think that chivalry is dead? I don’t think so, but I also think it’s a bit outdated.

What's the greatest/most influential song you've ever heard? That’s a lot of pressure on a song... as much as I don’t really like The Beatles, I’d say Hey Jude has been pretty influential.

What's the weirdest thing you've seen in a grocery store? Not sure. If I had thought something I’ve seen was the weirdest thing ever, I would’ve taken a photo.

What is true love to you? Sacrifices.

Do you like chocolate milk? YES, lactose intolerance be damned.

Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? Not yet. I hope to be able to this year!

Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? Nope, but I’d definitely get on one if I find one here.

Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly? Slowly. Actually, I prefer running water over it until it just slides off.

Have you made a mistake in the past week? I am constantly making tiny mistakes at work.

What was the last weird thing you said to someone? Idk, I feel like all the conversations I’ve had recently didn’t involve any inside jokes or general weirdness.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? I got to work with one - Redd is the drummer for a local band but he’s since resigned to work with another company.

Have you ever sat on a copy machine and made copies of your butt? No. I’ve never even used a copy machine.

Are you a camera whore? Not at all, I hate posing for the camera.

Have you ever purposely dropped someone's toothbrush in a toilet? Never even considered it.

What kind of mood are you in right now? A little sad because it’s the weekend and I can’t even do my weekend coffee shop trips anymore because Covid cases are experiencing another surge (9000 cases a day!!!), protocols are everywhere again, and my parents already told me I can’t go out...those moments were my rare time alone where I can take walks and reflect and whatnot (and not to mention experieince air conditioning for a few hours), so it sucks to have to be stuck at home again. There’s not much to do at home to begin with, so now I’m just stuck in a cycle of taking surveys and finding videos to watch on YouTube.

What was the last thing someone told you that had you at a loss for words? I was ranting to Andi about how I started despising Diane from BoJack Horseman the moment she flipped out over Mr. Peanutbutter gifting her an entire library. I get where she’s coming from, of course, “understand people’s love language” and all that; but I felt like the very hostile reaction was super uncalled for and it reminded me a lot of my relationship with Gabie – I liked giving and giving, but it was either 1) never enough or 2) apparently the wrong way to show her love, and I was always the one punished for it in the end. I told Andi that because of my experience with her, I don’t even feel like giving a library (metaphorically speaking) to any future significant others anymore because of how hard I had it with her. 

Anyway, they gave me some advice about it and in the end they told me, “One day, someone will tell you, “Thank you for your library.’” It was very beautifully put and I struggled to find the words to reply.

What's something that always makes you smile, regardless of what’s going on? I’m not sure there is such a no-fail thing.

What was that last thing that you bought online? Food for Angela.

Do you enjoy riding around town looking at Christmas lights? Yeah, but the general mood for last year obviously wasn’t super festive and there weren’t as much lights, so it’s been a while since I’ve seen my village all decked out.

Is there someone that you're mean to for no good reason? No, that’s terrible.

What was the last thing you got out of the freezer? The coffee ice cream that I bought from Leigh yesterday! It’s crazy fucking good and I already feel a repeat order coming through.

Are you currently reading anything? No.

What's a good book you'd recommend? I don’t read anymore. I know child/teen-me would be very disappointed.

[arolla-pine]

I, Marinette - p.8

(8) – The Miracle Box

That was unbelievable! I’d just started feeling comfortable as Marinette! And now I had to start all over again?!

“Bugaboo?” Ladybug asked me tenderly, kneeling by my side.

“Woah… That was totally unexpected…” I sighed staring at my palm covered by some little blackholes – a proof that Cat Noir had already used his “Cataclysm” spell.

“What now?”

“We have to use this Cataclysm, otherwise I’ll hurt you or myself, or I’ll destroy the Louvre Palace…” I muttered.

Ladybug found a bird feather and popped it out in the air. I caught it and it turned into dust instantly.

“Thanks…” I murmured. “It looked like an Amok, you know?”

“It seems like both of us used the superpowers…” Ladybug sighed looking at a dotted red globe in her hands. “We’ll transform back soon.”

“So, we’d better go down from the roof.” I suggested and stood up.

“Still remember how to use the staff?” Ladybug winked at me in a very Cat Noir’s style.

“You bet!” I laughed.

But I wasn’t amused. I waited for Ladybug leaving towards the Seine and assessed the Cat Noir’s weapon. I repeated to myself to trust to my instinct and to body memory, yet I was terrified at the idea of another air means of transport… I would have to go to therapy after all that!

I found Ladybug at the bank of Seine next to the Pont du Carrousel. We hid under the bridge.

“We don’t have time, Cat…” I whispered. “We have to find a shelter. If Juggler finds us when we are in the civilian selves, we can say goodbye to our Miraculouses.”

“We’ll learn about our identities!” Ladybug replied in horror. Adrien started paninicking… Not good… That didn’t help me at all.

“Actually, I know yours…” I admitted and Ladybug gasped. “But I’m aware it might be a shock for you… Before we’ll transform back, could you show me what’s the ‘Lucky charm’?”

“I have no idea what’s that…”

I glanced at the oval object in Ladybug’s hands. If anyone asked me, I’d say it looked like a new Miracle Box. That meant we needed an ally. My brain tried to work as fast as possible.

“OK, Cat…” I made a decision. “We have to split. I’m going for the Miracle Box, although I have no idea who could we ask for help. Chloe revealed all identities of the miraculous’ holders. I hope I’ll figure out something in the meanwhile. Let’s meet somewhere around the Eiffel Tower. If I make it…”

“I’m sure you will, M’Lady…” Ladybug assured me, and my brain tried to process the collision of words and image of a person speaking. “You have been Lady Noir already, so I’m sure you’ll do your job perfectly…”

“But I have never been a boy…” I muttered, and my partner burst out laughing.

“After Reflekta nothing surprises me anymore…” he replied after a moment.

“Good luck, Cat! Oh, and don’t panic!”

“Why should I?” Ladybug asked me surprised.

“Tikki will take care of you…” I told rather myself than him, suspecting how much he would be shocked when he found out the Ladybug’s identity. “See you later!”

I jumped on the Cat’s staff, trying to overcome sickness at my stomach. I preferred walking on the ground, but there was no time for this. I had to be home before I transformed into Adrien.

I landed on Marinette’s balcony just before my time was up. When my feet stood on the floor I felt transformation. I saw green flashes around me and a cool air ran down through my body. Plagg emerged immediately in front of my face and looked at me concerned. Was it possible that this little sarcastic cat was worrying about a teenager’s emotions?

“Don’t panic, Pigtails…”

Oh, right! Plagg’s nickname for Marinette…

“I’m fine… I knew it was Adrien…” I muttered, jumping into Marinette’s bedroom.

“Really?” Plagg was surprised, but to hide all hints of sensitivity he added in his normal tone: “I’m starving!”

“Of course…” I reached my pocket to get some cheese for the kwami. “Even if I gave you piles of camembert you’d still be starving…”

“Piles of camembert… You know my deepest dreams, Pigtails…”

“No comment… Now, let’s find the Miracle Box…”

“Find? What do you mean by saying ‘find’?” Plagg choked with cheese but looked at me meaningful, so I gave him another piece of camembert. “You’ve already lost it?” he asked ironically.

“I haven’t lost it. I hid it…”

“And you forgot where?”

“It’s a long story…” I muttered.

At that moment my phone began ringing. There was Marinette’s picture on the screen. So Adrien had just found out. I clicked a green button.

“Marinette?!” a shocked face of… well… Marinette was staring at me, but said nothing more.

“Don’t panic. Just breathe!” I replied.

“But… Marinette?”

Not good… Apparently, Adrien’s brain stopped working.

“Calm down, please… Is there Tikki?”

The red kwami didn’t show up, but I heard her voice somewhere there. Oh, right! I forgot that kwami were invisible for technologies!

“Can you take care of him?” I asked with concern. A panicked partner wouldn’t help me in coming back home. “I can see he didn’t take it too well…”

“It’s not like that, Marinette!” Adrien replied. “It’s just…”

“I know, Adrien… I know…” I cut it, although I had no idea what he wanted to say. Probably, he would start talking about our friendship and how happy he was, but surprised too. I had no time for that. I had to find the Miracle Box. “I have a problem, Tik. Can you tell me, where I should look for you-know-what?”

“I can’t tell you…” Tikki sounded like she was really sad that she couldn’t help me. “Try to figure it out. Plagg will help. Remember he can pass through solid objects…”

“If the Box was smeared with camembert he would find it within a couple of seconds…” I muttered under my breath.

“Camembert? Someone has said ‘camembert’? Plagg pricked up his ears. “And I object! I would find the Box within less than a second! If it was smeared with camembert, of course… What a shame it isn’t…”

“Can you give a hint maybe?” I turned back to the phone. “Just a hint, Tikki…”

“All I can tell you is that yesterday we had no time to find a perfect hiding place.” Kwami replied. “We found a tolerable one…”

Woah, much better!

“Why are you so calm?” Marinette, or rather Adrien, cut in.

“What”? I was surprised.

“You don’t look like shocked that… you know… That I am…”

“It’s a long story…” I said, realising that I repeated this too often. “Don’t worry. After ‘Miraculous Ladybug’ we both will forget about our identities.”

“But… I don’t want to forget…” Adrien confessed.

‘Your bad, because you will…’ crossed my mind. That how the spell worked. And I could be more that sure that the original Marinette would have no idea about Cat Noir’s identity.

“Focus, Adrien!” I called him to order. “You must recharge Tikki. You should find some macaroons in my purse. But wait with transformation because I may need Tikki if I have some more problems with seeking. Just… Keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck!”

I hung up.

“I should have made you take back all those ‘just a friend’s!” I muttered to myself. “I swear if you said that, I’d cut myself into pieces. Or you…”

I heard laugh. Plagg seemed to have fun.

“It’s hilarious!”

“I’m so glad to see you find it funny. But maybe let’s find the Box instead, shall we?”

“What a shame you didn’t think about smearing it with camembert…”

“By the way, let’s try to be quiet…” I toned down my voice. “It would be better not to draw parents’ attention. Who knows how they would react seeing a boy searching their daughter’s room…”

“Especially, if it’s a love interest of their daughter…” Plagg added still amused with the situation.

“He’s so blind, that I truly doubt that even if he saw all of those stuff, he would realise about her feelings.”

“Her?” kwami stopped and looked at me alarmed. “You’re not Marinette!” He discovered.

“Bingo! Before Juggler changed me with Cat Noir, he managed to change me with Marinette.” I explained quickly. I had no time for this. Not now. “I’m not Marinette. I’m Lena. And I really need to find this Box if I want to go back home!”

“Tikki knows?”

“Sure she does. She already checked me. And now… Could you please help me in returning to my life? I have no idea where that girl could hide this egg!”

“Don’t ask me!” Plagg turned away from me, yet added under his breath: “But as a big fan of chaos and destruction I’d start from the biggest mess…”

I looked at a pile of fabrics in the corner next to the sewing machine. Theoretically, it could be considered as a ‘tolerable’ hiding place. If I was Gabriel Agreste I wouldn’t even touch a top of this pile, not to mention about diving in it… I began searching the fabrics and other sewing stuff, one by one. After a few minutes I finally found what I had been searching for. When I picked up a big red sphere, I felt like it was vibrating. That was illogical because I wasn’t Marinette – neither internally nor in body. However, the Miracle Box seemed to feel that I was the right person. Weird.

I drew a sign of ‘M’ on the top of the sphere. I didn’t know why such a stupid idea came to my mind, but surprisingly it worked. It wasn’t the first time here, in the Miraculous universe, when my intuition led me correctly to the solution.

The Box started opening, showing me the magic jewels. I didn’t know the abilities of most of them, but I remembered what I had learned about the Miraculous of Fox and the Miraculous of Turtle. I took them from the Box and then I put my hand on the top of the sphere. The Miracle Box closed, and I couldn’t believe that it worked! This time it was illogical to think that it was because of body memory – Adrien had never touched the Miracle Box nor tried to open it. So, why I managed to do it?

“Seriously? Fox and Turtle?” Plagg asked in a doubtful tone.

“I don’t know the others. Besides, when I saw them all, I discovered how we could defeat Juggler. And to do so, I need those two.”

“Wow, I’m impressed, Pigtails…”

I smiled at him. I knew I’d miss him.

“Plagg, claws out!”

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