#and i got it at a good deal!!!! 17 dollars!!!!!

[chickenchirps27]

I GOT MYSELF A DESK LAMP‼️‼️ NOW I CAN HAVE GOOD LIGHTING TO DRAW AND PHOTOGRAPH MY ART

[g00br-bugg]

crazy how the effects of retail therapy start even before you buy anything

[enjolraspermettendo]

Les Miserables Fanfic recs✨️

I tried to make a selection, my absolute favourites have a heart next to them ❤️, but my les mis fics bookmarks have 17 pages, so you know, there are still other amazing fics that i didn't include (part 2 maybe?). I also realised while making this list that most of these fics are actually very well known, but still, they're great 🤷‍♀️ I'm an angst enthusiast, be warned.

( I'm trying to also tag the tumblr accounts of the authors: if you are one of the authors and I missed your url and want me to add you or if you want me to remove you dont hesitate to contact me! )

❤️ World Aint Ready by idiopathicsmile @idiopathicsmile

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn't even opened his mouth yet. That's got to be a record, even for them.

"I need a favor," he says at last.

"With what?" says Grantaire. "Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I'd be awesome at cults, I just know it." He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. "I love chanting, I look great in robes—"

(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)

Part 1 of World Aint Ready-verse

To Fold the Sheet by Lyres

“Can you say one good thing about the season?”

Holding out his soap-sud covered hands until Grantaire tosses a towel on top of them, Enjolras hums in thought. “Not really,” he says, once he's dried off. “Just don't have a lot of happy memories of summer, I suppose.”

(In which Grantaire attempts to make Happy Summer Memories, and Enjolras is endlessly patient.)

History of Melancholia by Squash (JeSuisGourde) @meta-squash

Grantaire deals with his depression by documenting it through photography as he and Enjolras try to wade through life with mental illness. It doesn't make it any easier for him or Enjolras, though. It's the blind leading the blind as they try to navigate the waters of depression.

A series of moments in no particular order, showing the paths that Grantaire's depression and addiction has taken him on and the ways he has tried to survive.

Submission (Going Down, Down) by ddeadkennedys

anyway, enjolras hated grantaire at first. enjolras isn't an asshole, he's not a gatekeeper or some sort of shitty elitist, but grantaire was uninspired, hopeless despite all that potential. a waste. but then that whole thing went down, and shit changed, and if grantaire thought he couldn't get enough of enjolras' attention before, now that enj is only mean to him for fun he's a fucking junkie for it.

Part 1 of the revolution is my boyfriend

Keep It Kind, Keep It Good, Keep It Right by lady_ragnell @theladyragnell

“You aren’t going to ask me if I’m okay?”

“You aren’t. Believe me, I know the signs.” Grantaire sighs, and his breath mists in the air like cigarette smoke. “They love you in there.”

“And out here?”

“You know that’s not a fair question.”

Forget Me Not by Opium_du_Peuple @just-french-me-up

Enjolras loses four years worth of memories after a nasty car accident. Though he still remembers who Combeferre and Courfeyrac are, he also finds himself with a herd of friends he doesn't remember meeting. Friends who are exactly what his blank mind needs to recollect his missing memories.

or : the amnesia fic no one asked for.

i'm not the moon (i'm not even a star) by serinesaccade @serinesaccade

“The amnesiac has questions,” says Grantaire. Boyfriend grips the wheel. “Don’t worry, we’ll start with the 200 dollar Jeopardy trivia.” A semi roars past them. “What’s your name?” The perfect sinew and bones of his fingers relax. “Oh,” he murmurs. Just like that, defenses lowered. “Enjolras.” “Cool,” Grantaire says. “I’m Grantaire.” Something happens to Enjolras’ face which, if you zoomed in, might be considered a smile. “I know.” “How long have we been dating, Enjolras?” The almost-smile is gone. The gameshow metaphor has become too apt; someone’s lost it all. “That’s complicated.” Well. Grantaire should’ve known some part of this fairytale was too good to be true. He’s best friends with a streetsmart renegade and someone who wrote him a welcome-back-to-consciousness poem in godawful blue icing on an orange frosted cookie cake. There are nearly ten people who were waiting for him to wake up in a hospital room. Of course his inexplicable relationship with his supernova hot, socially conscientious boyfriend is ‘complicated.’

thirteen days and fourteen hours and a dozen minutes by Potoo

"Enjolras,” Grantaire gasps as delicate fingers brush over his chest, an airy quality to them, “what do you want?” Because Grantaire would serve him the whole world on a silver platter, and it would never be enough.

“You,” Enjolras states, his voice clear and severe, “I want you.”

Enjolras discovers one by one what his friends think about Grantaire. He is rather surprised by their words.

Also: body worship porn.

Metropolitan Art by ryssabeth @avagueambitioninyourerection

Paris is his home.

❤️ Wrap your fingers round my thumb by Ibbyliv

When Éponine leaves in the morning, he’s already feeling much better. No really, he is. He makes a cup of coffee and even showers. The sun is shining brightly –even though it’s mostly late in the afternoon than morning but he has no one to apologize to, no reason to excuse himself for being a lazy ass and not finishing that painting for ages- and he’s humming a catchy tune that has been stuck in his head while he wipes his hair dry with a towel. He opens the door because he feels good enough to take the trash out, and everything’s alright, even the odor coming from the plastic bag, until he hears it.

It’s a cry, a wail, desperate and heartbreaking as if something tiny is trying to cause its lungs to explode and is on its way to success. Grantaire looks around, not willing to accept what he feels coming, before lowering his eyes on the floor. In this moment, Grantaire swears, he's so fucking wasted. * Enjolras leaves to work abroad for a year. When he returns, he finds out that there has been a new addition to their group.

A Series of Progressions by AnnaBolena @annabrolena

Modern AU in Paris in which most of Les Amis are students and all of them are sort of slow on the getting together aspect of relationships, with sociopolitical commentary and medical jabber peppered in between.

how sweet and lovely dost thou make the shame by Tegami @furtherfish

He could have shrugged and that would have been it. Say that he just found it precious. But Grantaire was Grantaire and he never could keep himself from oversharing and he was already dizzy with the way this night was going, so he told the truth. “The first thought I had when I read that poem was ‘If someone would ever call me “sweet boy” and mean it, I would probably pass out.’” OR: E & R are being ""casual"". Grantaire attempts to break some of their habits. Enjolras reads some angsty notes R left in his copy of Shakespeare's sonnets. Then they fuck

❤️ Hotel California by sunflowerbright

'You can check out, but you can never leave' - Reincarnation!AU

❤️ Paris Burning by thecitysmith @thecitysmith

In a world where cities are personified, the City of Paris has been missing for centuries, driven away by the horrors of war and the worst humanity has offered him. Enjolras dreams of meeting Paris, and leading him to a better tomorrow. What he doesn't know is that Paris is now a cynical drunk who calls himself Grantaire.

❤️ Thirty-Two Times by Ark @et-in-arkadia

Marius, looking chastised but sad, says, “Is there nothing then for romance, Enjolras? It seems a strange emotion to be struck with, distracting as a fever, if it means nothing.” It is Grantaire who answers first. “Nothing means anything, Marius,” says the cynic. “Yet who would ever die for his country if he did not love some person who lived within it?”

❤️ Once We're Kings by raeldaza

Their kingdoms have been at odds for centuries, so what will be a greater 'fuck you' than to send hapless knight Grantaire as their representative for Prince Enjolras's queen choosing ceremony before he is crowned King? Grantaire disagrees, but he doesn't seem to get much of a say in the matter. No one is really expecting anything to come of it, but trust Enjolras to defy expectations.

❤️ Your Heart on Your Skin by zade @racetrackthehiggins

Grantaire’s first flower appears when he is two years old. It’s late, for a First Bloom, considering some children are born with their First already etched above their hearts, but Grantaire’s parents are warm and loving and wait to see what sort of child they have born unto the world. His First Bloom, when it comes, is vibrant patch of yellow carnations. He is too young to know what it means, and his parents don’t tell him, just—withdraw, and a much smaller patch of yellow carnations appears on his mother’s ankle. -- Soulmate AU where things in your life appear as flowers on your skin, and people with hard lives have a lot of flowers to show for it

Tetris by chapstickaddict

Cosette is Enjolras' half-sister. His father slept with Fantine and then buggered off to be with his wife. Then Enjolras found out. One day he sees her- and he knows its her- and doesn't know what to do. Enjolras is Cosette's half-brother. Her mother slept with a married man and died of a broken heart and weary soul. Then Cosette found out. One day, she finds him-and she knows its him- and doesn't know what to do. Then Marius happened...

Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell @theladyragnell

Grantaire's life has a pattern: he pays his respects to Aphrodite, he goes to work, he loves Enjolras and provokes him because he can't bring himself to do otherwise. That seems unlikely to change, at least until Enjolras speaks out against the gods and ends up cursed. Grantaire does his best to help him, but it turns out it's just as hard to love Enjolras up close as it is from afar.

Part 1 of The Speech of Love

❤️ I Believe In Nothing but the Truth and Who We Are by Whreflections

"Under the wine, Grantaire smelled like smoke and summer nights. His dark hair curled in a chaotic mess around his face, his neck below pale and soft. The first time they met, the first time he drew the scent into his lungs, he ached with the need to mark that stretch of skin, to card his fingers through Grantaire’s hair so very gently before tilting his head back so Enjolras might mark his bared throat and make his claim. He resisted then, telling himself that to act on instinct alone was the arena of an animal; he was a man of intellect, and he could choose." As an alpha, Enjolras has known Grantaire to be his mate since he first came to the Musain, a truth he does his best to bury. With his devotion already promised to France, he tells himself he cannot risk dividing his loyalties, cannot risk a bond that would pull so heavy on his heart. This is what he's told himself a thousand times, but when Grantaire needs him, his careful resolutions may not be able to hold against the strain.

His Love Letter by ShitpostingfromtheBarricade @shitpostingfromthebarricade

Your Wednesday regular appears right on time and orders the same thing as he does every week, but something's different today.

❤️ Here's looking at you by illuminate

“So domestic trouble rather than treason?” Floreal said. “I’m not saying one precludes the other.” Enjolras said, which came out more pained than he had intended. “Are you suggesting Grantaire sold national secrets to a crime lord because you were a bad boyfriend?” Floreal asked. Her tone was bemused, but there was a glint in her eye that turned the comment into mockery. “No.” Enjolras snapped, stung, and then didn’t say more. Spy AU. Grantaire removes his tracker and disappears the same night Lamarque is killed in his office. Enjolras is left behind, trying to figure out what happened and why Grantaire didn't tell him anything.

❤️ Meanwhile, A Glacier by standalone

“I’ll go.” He says it without brashness or deference. Just a statement. “Where?” “You want to climb the Forty,” he says, and Enjolras can’t deny it. “I’ll go with you.”

❤️ It's Not the Same Anymore by ShameDumpster @shamedumpster

Grantaire is a bookstore clerk in his late twenties, and to everyone’s eternal disbelief, a father. It’s been years since he’s seen anyone from his former group of friends, after a falling out cleaved him from the ABC, but everything changes when Enjolras walks into his bookstore. Can they rekindle their friendship, or something more, while they both come to terms with how their lives have changed over the past decade?

Part 1 of INtSA-verse

❤️ Combeferre's Tattoos by standalone

Enjolras clunked down three lowball glasses of whiskey and a bottle of soda water. “We have already established, ‘Ferre, his freedom to leave us. Can you please stop bringing it up and instead give him some incentive to stay?” Combeferre cocked his head to the side, as if amused at Enjolras’s crankiness. “Such as?” “He seemed to like you shirtless.” ‘Ferre nodded. “Then perhaps someone should take my shirt off.” or When the universe gives you Enjolras and Combeferre, who the hell are you to ask questions?

Part 1 of Tattoos AU

❤️ In Defiance of all Geometry by idiopathicsmile @idiopathicsmile

Amis House might not be the biggest student co-op, or the fanciest, but it's got something all its own. Specifically, smoke damage on the kitchen ceiling from that time Courfeyrac lit a political pamphlet on fire. In which there are secrets, pining, pancakes, and revelations, and sometimes the shortest distance between three points is not a triangle but a circle.

Part 1 of IDOAG-verse

❤️ We still got time (Raise your hopeful voice) by RavenXavier

“Excuse-you!” came Grantaire’s offended voice from the other side of the room. “I would make an excellent wife, Monsieur Lesgle, should I choose to! I have all the qualities of one!" (In which Enjolras slowly falls in love, and Grantaire takes the time to explore what feels right.)

Musagetes by defractum @defractum

"You've had sex," says Grantaire, just to clarify. He gives Enjolras an obvious look up and down, as if he's trying to imagine it right now: Enjolras having sex, Enjolras in the act of having sex. The curve of his mouth gives away his smirk; it's Grantaire though, so his smirk is two-thirds mocking and one-third self-deprecating. In which Enjolras has sex, has casual sex, and doesn't talk about it; in which Grantaire speaks better through art.

❤️ Through the Narrow Place by revolutionbarbie

“What brought you to Paris?” Montparnasse asked. “A train, ostensibly. And a bus.” Grantaire leaves Poland for Paris, content to remain alone forever if it means that he'll be safe. He goes to work and he comes home and he doesn't think about how few people there would be to miss him should he disappear. When he meets the Friends who gather and plot at the Cafe Musain, he realises how much he has been missing and though their leader is reckless and arrogant, Grantaire can't help but be drawn to him.

❤️ A Thousand Miles by kjack89 @kjack89

Some couples had a morning breakfast routine. For Enjolras and Grantaire, it was coffee. Come rain, shine, or hectic schedules, they still made time every morning to have a cup of coffee together. Sometimes that time saw Grantaire perching on the counter in the bathroom while Enjolras gulped his cup in the shower; other times, it was the two of them in bed long past when they were supposed to get up, wrapped in blankets and each other. Some days those precious few minutes were the only time they saw each other, and they treasured it. Even when Enjolras was out of town on business, they called or Facetimed each other to share their morning cup of coffee. It was the one consistency in their lives that Grantaire could count on.

❤️ Hēbē by illuminate

“You cannot feed on a citizen without their consent, because that would be an attack on their person - and their Rights, I am sure. But you cannot risk revealing your nature and so you cannot ask for permission. Luckily, you have me, who am already aware and quite willing.” The chair screeches loudly as Enjolras pushes himself away from the table. ”Come now, Apollo, let me be your cupbearer.” Grantaire implores; his tone somewhere between teasing and honest. “No, we are not doing that.” Enjolras growls. (In short: Enjolras has trouble feeding himself, because he is too busy planning the revolution. Grantaire finds out and is more than willing to help.)

Part 1 of cupbearer

Enjolras looks down at where Grantaire’s hand holds the pack against him and doesn’t bother to take hold. “If you were Combeferre,” he says, “this would be the part where you tell me these things will kill me.” “If I were Combeferre, I’d be inside and you’d be bothering someone else,” Grantaire snaps. He snatches the pack of cigarettes back and extracts one, leaving just two inside. It is with sharp, savage movements that he jabs it into his mouth, lights it with the silver Zippo, and then offers it to Enjolras.

love is in the air, i just gotta figure out a window to break out by tamquams

[imreadydollparts]

I really cannot be normal about Mattel's head glue, I hate it so much.

Before I got sick I had been doing some experiments to see how different head glue removal methods work and affect the dolls' hair and heads, and then completely forgot about it for a long time while I was recovering. I'm still completely exhausted and don't have much energy for these kinds of things anymore.

I dug up my original notes this morning and did some fresh observations of the heads I'd treated.

Get ready for a lot of cut up doll heads, boringly presented information, and not nearly enough photos because I always forget.

You get a cut for said mangled doll heads.

Important notes:

None of these dolls' hair was conditioned after treatment.

Each head was kept in an individual, sealed container kept in the basement which is consistently 62F since treatment.

Results would be better if I had a whole bunch of the same head with the same glue, but I don't.

If you're curious, I cut the heads with Dollar Tree gardening nips. it worked very well.

001 - Nikki treated with baby powder on Apr 17 2023 hair coated and powder funneled into neck, let sit, brushed a ton and tapped out of head this method dulls the hair's appearance

before - during - after

Jul 19 2024 Kanekalon hair is gummy and dusty, not terribly sticky smells of baby powder no change to vinyl glue inside head is coated in powder

Note: the hair falling out in the recent photos is from me cutting her head, nothing weird has happened to her head nor her hair

002 - 2Ks Barbie - treated with Tea Tree Oil mixed with L.A.'s Totally Awesome on Apr 17 2023 2 drops TTO applied to hair and massaged in 4 drops applied inside head T.A. added, didn't measure container shaken vigorously, T.A. turned cloudy immediately

before - during

Jul 19 2024 head reeks of TTO hair remains clean vinyl of head is supple and soft glue inside head is set and not sticky Saran hair is a bit dry

003 - Ken treated with Goo Gone on Apr 17 2023 sprayed liberally inside and out, massaged into hair, washed with dish soap

before

Jul 19 2024 Saran hair has a fine overall coating of glue glue inside head is sticky vinyl is fine if a little shiny, shine may indicate beginnings of degradation smells of citrus oil from Goo Gone

004 - Millie treated with Oxy Clean in tepid water on Apr 30 2023 Oxy Clean added to water, head placed in container, shaken vigorously

before

Jul 19 2024 head/hair smells moldy Saran hair remains clean vinyl is matte and soft white glue inside head is set (different from the yellow glue, can't say how this would affect the yellow glue)

005 - Summer treated with Triton X-114 on Apr 17 2023 1 tsp Triton massaged into hair with distilled water 1/4 tsp put inside head 1/2c distilled water in a container, put head in, shake vigorously

before - during - after

Jul 19 2024 moldy smell Saran hair is clumpy and sticky at nape of neck glue in head is sticky vinyl is soft and matte

006 - Millie treated with L.A.'s Totally Awesome on Apr 30 2023 done with normal process of putting head in a small cup, filling head and cup with concentrated cleanser, putting a lid on, and waiting. agitate the head now and then and change cleanser if cloudy

after (forgot to take a before)

Jul 19 2024 some stickiness at the scalp on one side, other side is clean Saran hair is a bit dry glue inside head is sticky on one side (same side as stickiness reappeared on the outside and where you can see a very thick glob of glue in the photo), and slightly tacky on the other side She would have benefitted from soaking a good deal longer.

[thatbadadvice]

Help! My Girlfriend Bought Me A Million Dollar House And Raised My Kids And All I Got Was This Million Dollar House And Someone To Raise My Kids, When Is It Finally Going To Be My Turn To Get A Break??????

Pay Dirt, Slate, 17 April 2023:

Dear Pay Dirt, My longterm girlfriend and I disagree about whether a $30,000 inheritance left to her by her great-aunt should be “her” money or “our” money. She wants to spend a large part (almost a third!) of it on expensive supplies for her hobby. I think that we should save most of it and use some of it on a vacation since we both find traveling extremely romantic. My argument is: 1) I don’t care about her hobby, but we’ll both enjoy a trip abroad; 2) we’ve lived on only my (admittedly low, since it’s academia) income for over a decade, so according to her own rule about entitlement to “her” windfall, shouldn’t she technically have been entitled to none of my wages all these years? Her argument is: 1) she had to put aside her hobby for many years to raise our children (it’s not a safe art form for young kids to be around) and yearns to return to it; 2) she paid entirely in cash for our $950k house at the beginning of our partnership (though my income pays the property taxes and maintenance costs), therefore she alleges that we haven’t actually been living on solely my income because I’ve been saving on rent all these years. I feel resentful of the double standard about control over finances and hurt that she would rather prioritize her own joy over our shared joy. She feels impatient to reconnect with her hobby and hurt that her contributions to our lifestyle are unseen. How do we reconcile our different viewpoints? How should the money be allocated? Is there something that we’re missing? —I’m About to Glass(Blow) a Fuse

Dear About to (Glass)Blow a Fuse,

I hope you don't mind that I corrected your very clever parenthetical sign-off! You're understandably dealing with a lot of hurt right now at the hands of the cruel and self-absorbed girlfriend who bought you a million-dollar home and abandoned her beloved hobby to raise your children, so I totally get why a brilliant, overworked, and under-appreciated academic genius such as yourself would fuck up something so incredibly simple and obvious, you poor thing. Really speaks to the distress you're in as the victim of this woman's sordid scheme to steal every ounce of joy from your life by experiencing some of her own after decades of managing your household for you for free.

Great relationships are built on the exactly equal division of all resources, and it sounds like your girlfriend has trouble grasping this because she seems to believe that the home you live in and the time she has invested raising your children for you have value, when of course they do not. The only thing that has value in this world is cash money, which is why we call it money. If parenting were valuable, you'd be able to trade it on the stock market! And what was your girlfriend going to do, not live in a house? These are things she'd have done with her life anyway, and they don't get to count toward her contribution to the household just because she did them for and with you instead of expressly and specifically pursuing her art. Whereas who knows what you could have done with your life if you hadn't been locked into a free house and a partner dedicating herself full-time to keeping your children alive for you?

Now, after all these years of being nothing but a worthless freeloader whom you support out of the generous goodness of your kind heart, your girlfriend has finally acquired something of value, and she wants to keep an entire third of it for herself? To do something that doesn't directly benefit, enrich, or entertain you personally? That's not equity, and it's certainly no way to repay you for periodically writing checks to the plumber. Isn't it about time you finally got something out of all of this for your trouble?

What benefit is there for you in having a partner who enjoys the sweet satisfaction of creative fulfillment after years of yearning to express herself? What kind of weirdo wants their girlfriend to have her own interests? And what kind of ungrateful hussy doesn't jump to spend thousands of her own money on a romantic vacation with someone who actively resents even entertaining the possibility of the idea of her doing something that makes her artistic spirit sing?

The balance sheet of this relationship is indeed all out of whack, and it's too bad that it's taken this long for your girlfriend to see just how uneven your bargain has been. If we're going to get technical about what has "value" in a relationship — and it does seem like your girlfriend is an inveterate bean-counter in the worst way around this stuff — the best way to reconcile your mutual account, as it were, is to present your girlfriend with an itemized bill for all the services you have provided her over the years, such as allowing her to buy you a home, permitting her to forego a wage-earning career, and gifting her with the opportunity to abandon her favorite hobby. That should pretty swiftly put everything you're "missing" in stark relief, and solve the question of how she should allocate her money in the future.

[christinesficrecs]

Hi! I hope you’re doing good!! Do you know of any fics that are similar to Weave Soft Spells Over My Sight by AgnesBlue? I loved how kinda weird Derek was in it

I love Bby!Derek!! In his defense being a teenage werewolf is hard! This post may have gotten away from me, hopefully it's weird enough. 😉

Weave Soft Spells Over My Sight by AgnesBlue | 51.4K

Derek had blossomed steadily over the past year, growing into his ears and turning even more handsome, if that were possible. But instead of going out and melting the panties off the girls, suddenly he was coming to Stiles all bashed in, demanding that he patch him up like Stiles was some freelance nurse. It was a familiar pattern by now.

Mischief Inc. by MereLoup | 17.2K

Stiles has a thing for the hot teenager who keeps coming into his tattoo shop.

Multidisciplinary Studies by DevilDoll | 51.3K

Stiles is a slightly-older-and-very-sexy librarian and Derek has a thirst for knowledge.

The Lawn Ranger by Snowjob | 47.8K

In which Derek is an adolescent werewolf with a penchant for chocolate bunnies, and instead of the dream summer of lazing around the house playing video games and nibbling on his hoarded supply of easter candy his mother makes him get a job.

In which Stiles is a showoff jock with a broken arm and an embarrassing crush who can no longer push the lawn mower around the yard.

Now as Ever (All That Is and Has Been) by venis_envy | 52.2K | Explicit

Stiles can't remember what happened to rearrange the time-space continuum, or how he ended up being pulled into the past. All he knows is that he's there now, in 2003 Beacon Hills, with a teenage werewolf and a possibly-crazy veterinarian as his only allies.

I Want To Say Yes, Sir | 8.8K | Explicit

“I’ve got a 17 year old boy in the back of my car and I’m running him up to the station.” His dad sighs.

“Oooo is he cute?” Stiles asks jokingly.

Stiles can practically hear his Dad’s eye roll. He can hear the Sheriff shift as he turns around to look at the boy in the back. “Hey my son wants to know if you’re cute.”

He hears the boy on the other end go after a second of hesitation, “I want to say yes, sir.”

His Dad just cracks up laughing.

One Dollar Yoda by exclamation | 10.7K | Mature

Stiles is an unbonded spark, so he’s been dealing with courting alphas since he was ten. It’s gotten a lot worse since he turned sixteen. Some are assholes, some are nice, but Stiles hasn’t wanted to spend the rest of his life bound to any of them.

When Derek Hale shows up at his school, Stiles expects him to be just another asshole alpha attempting to buy him with expensive gifts. But Derek Hale puts no effort whatsoever into his courtship gifts. Stiles ought to be offended but instead he finds it refreshing.

This Time With Feeling by Crimson1 | 36.1K | Explicit

"Derek Hale, if you refuse to learn from your past…then you will be doomed to repeat it." In which Derek is turned into a 16-year-old and has to stay with Stiles until they figure out how to turn him back. Eventual slash and smut, set post season 2, semi-AU.

I stopped believing in happy endings by otatop | 8.5K

Derek was prepared to have his heart broken for just one evening with Stiles. He knew what he was getting himself into

(He had no idea what he was getting himself into)

It’s Always Been You, Dumbass by stilinskisparkles | 11K

“Alright, cool, we should go,” Stiles says breezily, dusting off his hands as he stands.

“We should?”

“Yeah!”

“But… Do you even care about photography?”

“Not as much as I should,” Stiles plants both his hands on the table, bracketing Derek in, “You’ll have to correct my miscreant ways.”

[heavyhitterheaux]

I Need a Pencil

First Lady of Private Garden Blurb

AN: Jack is 18 and Y/N is 17 and they’re in their senior year

"Babe!"

Silence.

"Babe!"

Silence.

"BABY!"

"What, Jackman!?"

"I know you hear me so why are you ignoring me!? What if it was an emergency?" Jack immediately whined as you rolled your eyes.

"Because unlike you I'm trying to get a good grade in this class! And you don't have no got damn emergency."

"Yes I do."

"What is it?"

"I need a pencil."

You could have strangled him right then and there and looked at him in disbelief.

"Jackman, what the hell did you do with the one that I gave you last period!?"

"I don't know, babe. It just got up and walked away I guess."

"Be serious for once in your life, please."

"The only time I was serious is when I asked you to be my girlfriend."

“Oh, so your ass has jokes?”

“Nah, but I got some strokes for you if you’re interested.” Jack answered as he wiggled his eyebrows and you immediately rolled your eyes.

You reached into your purple pencil case and handed him another pencil and he immediately turned up his nose to look at it.

“Baby, I don’t want this one.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers Jackman. And right now you are definitely a beggar. You already lost my other one so don’t push it.”

“But yes they can. I begged you to be my girlfriend and you chose to say yes.”

“I swear Maggie dropped you when you were a baby.”

“I’m ignoring that. Babe, give me another pencil! This is the dollar store one! This is going to break before class is over!”

“Hell no. You had your chance and you lost my good pencils, so you get the dollar store ones. You have lost your privilege.”

“Babyyyy, what am I supposed to do with this?”

“Write, dumbass.”

“Stop getting smart with me, mamas!”

“Then stop losing all my got damn pencils! And I just noticed something…. Baby, where is your backpack? You have literally been carrying around your binder all day that has four pieces of paper in it. You could have used a folder for that.”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen it in like two weeks.”

“How in the world did you study for our text last period if you didn’t have your notes?”

All Jack did was shrug.

“Either way, you aren’t getting another pencil so deal with it.”

“But…”

“NO!”

Later that day, you were over Jack’s house studying and all he was doing was staring at you  patiently waiting for you to pay him attention even though he still needed to get his own study guide finished. He was getting bored and proceeded to sigh loudly to get your attention.

“Yes, baby?” You asked while over at him.

“Can I have a kiss? I feel like I haven’t gotten any all day.”

“Why of course you can.”

You proceeded to give him several kisses, before he slid you into his lap.

“Baby, why haven’t you started your study guide?” You curiously asked while looking at his blank paper. 

“Um….”

“I’m waiting….”

“I need a pencil.”

“JACKMAN THOMAS, I SWEAR TO GOD!” 

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

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@jackiehollanderr

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@awhore4moree

[silent-raven13]

Quenepas!

(If ya'll never try Quenepas/Mamones/Mamoncillos or in English term Spanish Limes, ya'll are missing out. They are so good! 🤤)

(Warning: Hobie 18 and Miles is 17 and they do a bit of touching. I put a warning bc I know some readers don't like reading high school stuff like this. You been warned.)

"It's amazing my brother was able to find a whole bulk of Quenepas!" Rio smiles widely having one of her favorite fruits in the sink to wash them, "These are amazing healthy snack for you papi!"

Jeff saw the two large boxes of Spanish Limes, "Wow, there's a lot of these things. Are you sure we can finish this?"

"Mi amor, I've been carving for these for the longest." Her small baby bump shows her three month pregnancy. "and they are a way better snack than your donuts."

"You know, not all cops like donuts." Jeff pouts at his wife.

His wife side eye him, "I know you eat at least five of those Dunkin' donuts. You need to start watching what you eat! You're gonna be having another kid and you need to be able get old till you're eighty!" She went to fix her husband's Chief uniform, noticing his tie being off. "You have to be ready for this long journey." She smiles.

"I know. I know. I'll pack some." The middle age man said having to rub his neck, "But will that cancel out a burger?"

"Jeff! How about a salad! Look I already pack your lunch." She handed him, his lunch bag, "The doctor said you need to watch your cholesterol and blood pressure. Less fat, and more greens."

"Awwwe, but is burger Wednesday!"

His wife gave him the death glare that made him shut up real quick. "Okay, Salad Wednesday! I'll eat all this, baby. Love you." He nervously said giving a kiss on the cheek. "Your always right."

"That's what I like to hear!" She smirks widely in approval.

Miles came out of his room being surprised from the boxes of his favorite fruit. "Whoa! Tío brought all these! Yummy!" He happily went over to the clean batches to take one, he first bite around the hard peel then pop the round fruit to suckle on it. "Mmm, so good!"

Quenepas are these green oval balls covered in a thin layer with an orange transparent pulp wrapped around the seed inside. It has a sweet citrus lime taste perfect for the summer, it's refreshing and addicting to eat by its unique flavor. Miles love them so much he tends to eat most of the bag without a thought. It's so delicious that him and his mom always ask their relatives to buy bulks in areas around heavy Puerto Rican/Latinos fruit sellers.

Luckily Miles' uncle was able to find a good deal with two boxes full of Quenepas! Now, he can eat them without worrying about leaving some to his mom. "Mmm, these are so good!" He hops up and down finish suckling the pulp leaving the seed, spitting it out to throw it in the trash.

Rio happily eats one, "These are better than the last bulk. Your tío knows how to pick them. Now, I'ma take some for work. Miles, there's leftovers from last night and pizza from Thursday, okay? If you want to order food tu papà left money on the table."

"Twenty five dollars, right here, son!" Jeff put the cash on the dinning table.

"Okay, thanks dad." Miles smiles being happy he's all alone today. The perfect Saturday, where he can be Spider-man for the day and night just chill.

"Okay, I gotta head to work. See you guys later. Rio take it easy at work. You're pregnant remember." Jeff kisses his wife on the cheek.

"I know. I know." Rio laughs then kisses her husband's cheek. "Bye, mi amor." Then she went over to give Miles hugs and kisses, "Bye, mi vida. Mi bebé!"

"Mamí!" Miles getting his mother's kisses being smothered.

"Be good, okay! Also lock the doors and don't go to the fire escape!"

Miles rolled his eyes. After his parents left, he ate his breakfast and finished his report early. Then he went to spend all day as Spider-man, fighting off some villains here and there. It was a simple day, when he got home he took the twenty five dollars to put in his wallet. If he doesn't order anything with it, his dad let him have it for safe keeping.

The seventeen year old got a bowl of his favorite fruits to enjoy for the night. "Gonna watch some Full Metal Alchemist with some chips, soda and Quenepas!" He happily skips over to his couch and grab his remote to turned on his television to put on his stream. He sips on his soda, "Mmm."

He wore a white tank top with some lime green shorts being barefoot with his hairy legs kicking back and forth. "Mmm, these are so good." He suckles on his favorite fruit.

Unaware of someone coming inside through Miles' fire escape window, with heavy thick combat boots stepping inside with a heavy thud. Miles relax in the living room watching his favorite show and texting Ganke about the episode he finished. "Episode was dope. I'ma try to finish the season tonight."

Ganke texted him with a smiley face. The figure walks carefully not triggering Miles' spidey sense, but his other senses, "Baby, what are you trying to do?"

"Awe, I thought I was giving you a scare, luv." His punker boyfriend pout at him.

"Your boots always makes a loud sound. I'm Spider-man for a reason, bae." His Sunflower's doe eyes looks up at him with a small smirk on his face.

"Yeah, you're right. And you possibly knew I was coming by, huh?" Hobie jumps over the couch to sit next to his cute boyfriend. The cushions bouncy up and down making Miles move his bag of chips away from his boyfriend's side.

Hobie grins widely as he lay on his Miles, "Duh, you're my boyfriend. I know, you always want to visit me whenever I'm free or my parents aren't around." His cute darling smirks at him while eating an odd fruit.

"Darling, what are you eating?" Hobie asked being confused.

Miles set his empty glass bottle of cola on the ground, his mouth suckling the sweet citrus fruit, "Quenepas!"

"What?"

"Quenepas! Oh right, that's what Puerto Ricans call these. Um... I think Central Americans call them Mamones." Miles pointed out, as he let Hobie hold the small oval shape fruit. "They're like little gum balls."

"Yeah, and you call them what? Queen-Quene-passe?" Hobie tries to pronounce the word. His fingers hold the fruit like a piece of gem to study it.

"Quenepas! Jamaicans called them, Ginep or Guenepa."

"Ooh, I've heard of these before." Hobie heard it from his childhood friends that use to visit their relatives in Jamaica. "I never tried them."

"Make sense, these are mostly from the Americans. You wanna try it?" Miles asked.

"Yes, luv. How do you eat it?"

"Easy. You just do this," His boyfriend put half of the oval shape fruit in his mouth, he snuck his teeth hard enough to rip open the thick leather-like cover. "Then, you just open the half part." He uses his mouth to take off the peel to reveal the pretty pulp. "This is the pulp, the good part and it covers the seed. So you just pop it in your mouth and suck on it."

"Suck on it?" Hobie's face froze, he turns pink thinking of dirty thoughts.

"Yeah," His boyfriend being naive as always with his honey-brown eyes glued on his show. "These taste like sweet limes. So good. Try it!"

Hobie hold his fruit in his hand to do what Miles did. First, he bit around the peel then pull it away. His dark eyes saw the light orange pulp covering the seed, his mouth opens wide as he pops it inside.

Miles watches his boyfriend's eyes lit up by the fruit. "Good, huh?"

"Luv, these are delicious. It got that bitter taste to it from the lime, too."

"Right, it gives it a nice flavor!" Miles spit the seed out of his mouth to put it in a separate bowl were all the discarded seeds and peels went to. "These are one of my favorite fruits."

"Mmm," Hobie spit the seed out of his mouth letting his tongue tingle by the sour sweet taste of the fruit. It's delicious, but not as delicious as watching his Sunflower suckling on them. The way his beautiful plump lips pucker as he eats the fruit. This gives Hobie an idea, a delightful idea that a wide smirk spread on his face.

"Sunflower, these are good, but I want to try something with these?" The eighteen year old punker hold another fruit quickly opening the peel to put the fruit in his mouth.

"What?" Miles face his boyfriend being caught off guard by Hobie's lips. "Mmmm!" Honey brown eyes widen when he felt his boyfriend's tongue and the Quenepas rolling around between they're tongues.

"Mmm," Hobie groans as he got on top of his Sunflower as they have a heated make out.

Miles' cheeks felt warm being bashful, almost turned on as his tongue plays around with Hobie's. They were still in the beginning of their relationship, so tongue kissing isn't something Miles is good at. He's still shy about their heated kisses and hand holding, because he believes Hobie can do so much better without him.

Their first kiss wasn't as romantic as Miles wanted it to be, because of his lack of experience Hobie gave him a peck on the lips. From the beginning all they did was a simple kiss on the cheek or hand hold, all because the Black Latino isn't use to anything else. This made him more upset with himself, he wants to prove he can try new things instead of being coddle or treated like a delicate little flower. He wants to be daring, sexy and pleased his boyfriend the same way he does with him.

Their tongues play with the fruit having drool coming down their corner of their lips, the sweet taste of the fruit gave a euphoric pleasure running through their bodies. "Ohhh," Miles groans in the back of their throat, "Mmm."

"Mmm," Hobie purrs, letting his tongue flap around his pretty Sunflower's delicious mouth. Their plump lips suckle on the fruit letting their tongues push the seed back and forth. The sounds of their lips smacking got their bodies hot, their lower region a bit harder.

Miles' tongue was a bit weaker, more submissive than Hobie's dominant mouth. His boyfriend is hungry for him, so hungry, Miles could hear his heart beating rapidly. Their Spidey senses kicking high gear, it's nothing they ever felt before.

They could feel it trying to bond with one another, understand each other without saying a word. It's like their Spider senes are communicating based on instincts. Miles' eyes met dark beautiful brown eyes as if they were trying to understand that each other in a much deeper level. They could feel their Spider senses clicking after Hobie gently let Miles take over their kiss.

Click.

Miles'a own hands pulled Hobie into that deep kiss again, this time his teeth nibbling on his man's bottom lip. Their Spider senses now in tune. "Mmm!" They felt their cheeks warm, Miles' eyes being teary from all the feel good pleasure and want from his partner. His legs wrapped around Hobie's waist, letting his hips grind against him.

The punker's hands gripping on couch trying to support himself while Miles' hands wrapped around his face. They keep kissing till they felt the need to pull away. "Mmm!" They both moan again, the sound of the couch and television play in their ears.

Their teeth would nibble a bit of their lips and tongue. Miles felt Hobie's teeth sinking in a bit harder making him shiver with delight. That feels good. The young teenager tries to copy every movement to get better at kissing, he was tired of pecks and small kisses. He wants this.

When Hobie finally pulled away to catch his breath, he could feel his crotch hard, his breathing heavy. Their tongues left a trail of salvia as Miles lay his head on the couch with his teeth holding the seed. The sight of the young Spider-man's swollen plump lips being wrapped around the seed was to tempting for Hobie.

It made him want to do something more. "Hobie..." Miles muffled his words.

"Luv?" Hobie leans over to kiss his cheek, "I overdid, didn't I."

Feeling Hobie's warm breath on his left ear made Miles shudder again. "Mm-Mm." He shook his head. Their bodies were needing each other, they were begging to go further, but- There is always a but, Miles wasn't ready.

Hobie can tell his precious Sunflower is nervous. After all, this is their first time tongue kissing like this. "Miles..." He finally said before he sat back up to help his Sunflower sit back up.

The seventeen year old spit out the clean seed in his hand, he felt bashful, again. "Hobie, we kissed!"

"We always kiss, luv."

"No, we... tongue kiss." He shyly said, "My lips feel weird." He touch them feeling the soft soreness, it doesn't hurt.

"Heh, did you like it?"

Miles turns to him, "Hobie, I wanna kiss like that again!" Then he pouts, "But its okay we only take it slow."

"Sunflower," Hobie's hand caress his beautiful boyfriend's cheek, "You can take as long as you want."

Miles' eyes gleams with love, he quickly took another Quenepas with the peel off. Popping the fruit in his mouth. Then tackle down his boyfriend for another kiss. "Your mine, Hobie Brown!"

"That's what I like to hear, luv." Hobie purrs as they kiss again.

Ever since that day, Quenepas had became Hobie's favorite fruit.

[writesaboutdragons]

365 Promises of God

Day 333 – With God all things are Possible

But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men [it is] impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible." (Mar 10:27 NKJV)

Read: Mark 10:17-27

It's common knowledge around this old world that folks in the US have it better than the majority of people elsewhere. I was surprised to see that we aren’t the richest nation, though. Monaco tops the list, with an average income of $186k. In fact, the US ranks seventh, following Bermuda, Norway, Switzerland, Luxembourg and Ireland, at an average income of $80k. If you add in the cost of living, however, the US ranks 14th, so we are probably ending the month with much more than most other countries.

Regardless, on the world stage, the US is considered the rich. And as the Christian message has been suppressed in public here, we’ve become a lot like the rich young ruler who is the centerpoint of our reading today. Christ calls to us to come to him, but we must come empty-handed. We cannot BUY our way into heaven. Psalm 49:8 tells us this. Our redemption WAS costly. But not in money. In blood. And not our blood. The blood of an innocent man. And Christ calls us to surrender ALL to Him, for we are BOUGHT with that great price, and all that we have, all that we ARE, is HIS. That car you’re driving? It’s HIS. That house you’re living in? It’s his, too. The job you work? You got it. You’re working for HIM.

The rich young ruler came to Jesus and wanted to know how to have eternal life. Note that he KNEW who to come to. And he knew that he was a good teacher. That he had that knowledge, of how to get to heaven. So Jesus tests him. By asking why he calls him GOOD? Because, as this man would have learned, ‘There is NONE who doeth good, no not one.’ And Psalm 34:8 tells us that God is good. Jesus here gives the man an opportunity to declare openly that Jesus is God. It’s a leap of faith, but Peter had made it a few chapters previously. When it was obvious by the man’s expression that he wasn’t going there, Jesus responded with the Law, which the man DID know. Note that He doesn’t even give the entirety of the Law, just the portion of the Ten Commandments that deals with human interaction.

The rich young ruler changes his address, then. He DROPS the ‘GOOD’ in his address. And tells Him he’d kept all those laws from his youth.

You’d expect the God-Man in front of him to raise an eyebrow at that, to point out the ways he had failed at it just that week, if not that day. But it tells us here that Jesus looked at the man with compassion, and LOVED HIM. So He gives him another chance. ‘Go, sell all that you have, give it away to the poor, take up a cross, and follow me.

That’s a hard ASK, dear Christian. It would be hard for anyone, but so much harder for those of us who have a lot. How DARE God ask me to give up EVERYTHING to follow Him? Especially if it means the possibility of suffering and dying in public on a cross like He did?

Well, don’t shoot the messenger, folks, but that might end up being the ask. Before you turn away, though, let me assure you that it’s not usual for God to ask you to give everything away, just give everything UP. Realize that it’s all HIS.

He might not ask you to die on a cross. To suffer public ridicule and shame. But he MIGHT. And we have to give up our rights to say no to that.

I’m just a font of good news today, huh. And that was the reaction when the rich young ruler went away, sorrowful. Because he had great wealth, and he couldn’t let go of it. How like us today. It’s hard to part with our dollars even when we see somebody in need.

Jesus then stated that it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. I’ve heard respected theologians declare that this statement was talking about some ‘eye of the needle’ gate in the wall of Jerusalem, where a camel could not get through unless you stripped it of all its burdens and trappings, and it crawled through on its knees. What utter and complete HOGWASH! Have you ever seen a camel crawl on its knees? If such a thing were even possible, the disciples would NOT have asked how anyone could be saved.

The answer Jesus gives is one of the most misunderstood promises in the bible. Realize I’m not saying here that God can’t do the impossible. If he can create the universe in six days (he rested on the seventh) part the red sea, create woman out of a man’s rib, and make the earth stand still in its rotation for a day, He can do ANYTHING.

But we take this promise and consider that it applies to whatever we pray for. And God CAN answer those prayers. Here, however, Jesus has used a metaphor, which He declares plainly requires an act of God. God can, of course, shrink a camel to the size that can pass through the eye of a needle. He also can expand a needle to the size that a camel could pass through it. The bottom line is that God can do the impossible, and convert a human heart, even that of a rich young ruler, to the point where he is willing to concede that Jesus is God, and surrender ALL, to Him.

Prayer:

Father God, help me share what I have with someone in need, today. Amen

[pubbamoon]

Hi could you explain to me my destiny matrix thanks ♥️♥️

Hi! Sure, I can explain your Destiny Matrix chart to you. Sorry for later response, I've got a lot of messages where people asked me to read their Destiny Matrix charts recently. I didn't expect this would ever happen to me, but here we are.

But regardless, let's just read your chart! In your Crown chakra (purple chakra), which represents your spiritual mission, which your characteristics you show outwardly and how people see you, you do have number 9 (The Hermit) and number 12 (The Hanged Man). This means that you were born whether on December 9th or on December 27th. The Hermit (9) here suggests that you are someone who likes to be alone and introspect a lot. People may see you as someone who is reserved, but wise at the same time. The Hanged Man (12) here shows your compassionate nature. People might see you as someone who is altruistic and likes to help people in need. The World (21) is also important arcana for your Crown chakra, adding your open minded personality. You likely has a tendency to broad your horizons with this placement.

In your Root chakra (red chakra), which signifies your foundation, ancestors, survival mode and even your childhood, you do have number 8 (Justice) and number 11 (Strength). Number 8 here represents your year of birth, which is 2006 since you're currently 17 and a half. Number 11 here represents your Life Path number in numerology. Justice (8) in your Root chakra signifies maintaining balance and having a moral compass could be important for you to build your own foundation in life. You might grew up in a strict household or your family environment lacked balance in some way. Since this arcana is placed on the right side of your chart, representing struggles in finances, signifies that the societal pressure or your stubbornness might be the reason why you may struggle with finances. Take it how it resonates. Strength (11) in your Root chakra shows that you might deal with aggressive and violent people in your life who suppress you to express yourself bravely. Because of that, you might be scared of other people's opinions. Taking a leap of faith, doing some sport or any other physical activity might be good for you to maintain stability and foundation in your life.

By adding all of those four numbers up (9+12+8+11), we get number 40 and then we need to reduce this number into the number 4, which is placed at the center of your chart. This is why the central number in every Destiny Matrix chart is the most important number, representing who we are indeed. The central number is also associated with the Solar Plexus chakra (yellow chakra), which represents our core identity, confidence and power. The Emperor (4) at the center of your chart suggests that you naturally possesses some masculine traits, such as logic, ambition, taking important decisions in your life and having a leadership skills. You are a discipline and hardworking individual who sets realistic goals and tries to achieve them.

Your karmic tail (15-8-11) is called Physical Aggression and is the combination of number 15 (The Devil), number 8 (Justice) and number 11 (Strength). Growing up, you might dealt with toxic, violent and aggressive people, like I previously said. Because of that, you might be scared of what other people think about you. This placement shows me that you might also prioritize physical strength over anything and you might be involved in any kind of sport.

The Lovers (6) next to the heart emoji indicates a romantic and emotional partner who you communicate easily with. This placement may be the indicator of a balanced relationships. The World (21) next to your dollar sign signifies the work environment where you can broad your horizons and connect with many people. You might have a lot of opportunities with this placements, since The World card shows that woman who's looking four living creatures (who are associated with the four fixed signs of astrology by the way). Again, take it however it might resonate with you.

Okay, I think that will be the end of the reading. I hope you enjoyed it and that you found this reading accurate. Have a wonderful week ahead!

Best regards, Paky McGee

[dollarbin]

A Very Shakey Christmas

Neil Young may not look much like Santa but I'd say they share some qualities:

Both hail from the north.

Both hate Donald Trump. (Seriously: Santa and I are old friends and he told me that he is giving the Donald a big hunk of coal in his stocking for the 75th year in a row; a little known fact: Trump actually made the Santa's Nice list prior to age three. He's been all lies, egomania and comb-overs ever since. And Santa hates comb-overs.)

Both Neil and Santa have developed a formidable paunch and both are earnestly dedicated to making you and me happy. Bless them for it.

But Neil outshines Santa in one serious respect: he delivers joy year round. Case in point: just this afternoon I unwrapped a joint gift from Neil and my own mother: they went in together and got me a bargain bin vinyl copy of Neil's Dorothy Chandler Show from 1971. Thanks mom! Thanks Neil!

Since he (finally) initiated his Archives project 15 or so years ago Shakey has issued about 17 different live albums from the rich phase between After the Goldrush and Harvest. The first of them, the Massey Hall show, was a BIG DEAL in the Shakeyverse: Heart of Gold was revealed as the secret bridge to A Man Needs a Maid and Neil was revealed, once again, as a shy genius.

But even a hard core Neil freak like me shrugged when the Chandler album came out; the setlist was more of the same and I'd had this show as an actual bootleg back in the day. And, let me tell you, that original copy sounded awful: the clapping was way louder than the songs and it seemed like the tapper had secreted his mic down his shorts.

And so it was indeed a Christmas miracle this evening when yet another paint by numbers version of I Am A Child from 1971 devolved momentarily into the mystical, yearning opening of a song that Neil crafted in his workshop for another 20 years before fiinally placing under our trees.

Take a listen:

I was thinking bout you and me... Wow! It sounds as good here for a few fleeting seconds as it does on Harvest Moon. What song did Young not start writing in 1971?

I sure as hell don't want to sit on Neil's lap and tell him my secret hopes and fears this Christmas. But I do want to thank him, all the same, for consistently making Santa real for us here in the Dollar Bin.

[1solone]

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of the house in a beautiful Porsche.

Naturally, his parents know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car.

“Where did you get that car?” his mom and dad screamed in shock.

“I bought it today,” replied the teen calmly.

“With what money young man?” his mom demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it!”

“Well, it’s used and I got a good deal” says the boy, “This one cost me 20 dollars.”

“Who on earth would sell a car like that for 20 dollars?!”

“The woman up the street,” the boy replies. “I don’t know her name–she just moved in.

She ordered a pizza and when I delivered it to her, she asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for 20 dollars.”

The boy’s dad and mom hurry over to their new neighbor’s house, ready to demand an explanation. Curiously, their new neighbor is calmly planting flowers in her front yard.

“I’m the father of the kid you just sold a sports car to for $20,” the dad says. “I need an explanation from you!”

“Well,” the woman says, not looking up from her garden. “This morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip in Florida, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.”

“What on earth does that have to do with selling our son a Porsche for $20?” The boy’s mom asks, utterly perplexed.

The new neighbor smiles very big, and pauses for a minute. “Well, my husband asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money.

So I did.😅🤣😂😎

[floridaboiler]

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of the house in a beautiful Porsche. Naturally, his parents know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car. “Where did you get that car?” his mom and dad screamed in shock. “I bought it today,” replied the teen calmly.

“With what money young man?” his mom demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it!” “Well, it’s used and I got a good deal” says the boy, “This one cost me 20 dollars.” “Who on earth would sell a car like that for 20 dollars?!” “The woman up the street,” the boy replies. “I don’t know her name–she just moved in. She ordered a pizza and when I delivered it to her, she asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for 20 dollars.”

The boy’s dad and mom hurry over to their new neighbor’s house, ready to demand an explanation. Curiously, their new neighbor is calmly planting flowers in her front yard. “I’m the father of the kid you just sold a sports car to for $20,” the dad says. “I need an explanation from you!”

“Well,” the woman says, not looking up from her garden. “This morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip in Florida, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.”

“What on earth does that have to do with selling our son a Porsche for $20?” The boy’s mom asks, utterly perplexed.

The new neighbor smiles very big, and pauses for a minute. “Well, my husband asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did

[thechurchofsplatterdaysaints]

Everything you need to know about Out for Justice you learn before the title card. Gino Felino & his partner Bobby Lupo (yes, I'm serious) are waiting for a multi-million dollar drug deal to go down w/ the whole department on standby.

The over-Brooklyn-ing is immediate and stings and doesn't let up for the entire run time. Buckle up, baby.

Kelly Jo Minter (every 80s movie) plays a pregnant whore getting a beat-down from her foul-mouthed pimp. Do you think Gino can sit idly by & watch? Hell no! Big Daddy Fuck Pants has to serve up a spoonful of justice so he can continue to peacock around this scuzzy little turd with the appropriate level of dick chub.

“This motherfucker hit me & I'm scared I'm gonna lose my baby!”

Gino quickly dispatches some fists and slams the pimp through the windshield but not before they use the exact same sample of said pimp yelling “Yaaaaah” @ 3:17 & 3:25 respectively. You have to be some kinda next-level nihilist to do that shit. That sample has plagued me for 30 years. Fuck all 13 sound editors & mixers on this thing.

Despite my bitching this really is a great introduction to Gino and his special blend of macho horseshit.

And frankly, once you realize that no one cares and this whole God damned thing is serving Seagal's mammoth ego the only thing you can do is go along for the ride. Lean into the bullshit and enjoy because the man made one really good movie and this is it.

“Gimme an umarked and a shotgun.”

William Forsythe annihilates the gd screen as the crack smoking, meaner-than-piss antagonist who blows Bobby Lupo away for fucking his girlfriend. (Julie Strain, bitch Goddess I love you and miss you) Richie is a fucking death machine running to meet his maker and Forsythe outshines by a mile. (they edited more Forsythe out because Seagal = big baby bitch-tits)

Richie comes heavy. Richie don't play.

“You wanna fuck?”

Gino spends the rest of the movie hunting Richie down to avenge his partner's death and he has to butt heads with the mob on more than one occasion. But of course he's friends w/ the mob too, because everyone wants a piece of Gino's delicious cake. (my eyes cannot roll hard enough) Finook, gabagool, old mother dressed in black, grazie, scusi, et Spiritus Sancti, fughettaboutit.

“Cause he's a chickenshit fuckin pussy asshole.”

Seagal said the bar fight where he smashes everyone's face with a cue ball is his favorite fight scene and you can see why. The place is brimming with beefy thugs oozing criminality: we've got self-titled “Tattoo” representing Attica, master stick fighter “Sticks” (Dan Inosanto, who taught Bruce Lee nunchaku and was one of the 3 people permitted by Lee to teach Jeet Kune Do), boxing bartender to the stars Nick Dimitri (long established stuntman/actor you may recognize as the angry meth trucker from Stone Cold but check him out in Hard Times w/ Bronson mf throws down!) and last but certainly not least is Gianni Russo as made man “Sammy.” (Remember Connie's piece of shit husband in The Godfather who helped set up Sonny to get hit?)

“Anybody know why Richie did Bobby Lupo?”

Gino's bloated sense of self is on full display as always. He's waxing philosophic w/ mob guys about how “You gotta admit, God's got a strange sense of humor” which is exactly the kind of cracker jack bullshit that comes from a lifetime of never once having an original thought. Ugh. I hate that I love this movie.

"I like pain, you know." (*kiss* I love you, Richie)

The casting for this is off the charts. Jerry Orbach as the grizzled Lieutenant who understands comeuppance in a way that only men can, Gina Gershon as Richie's lippy sister, Dominic Chianese as Richie's immigrant daddy, Julianna Margulies in her breakout role as Richie's trapped and unwilling playmate. Loads of great character actors fill this thing out like one of those real nice 'Tits in Tops' pics. Kane Hodder worked with Seagal on 3 films as a stuntman and he's listed as “henchman at party” although I've yet to notice him in all my viewings. And I can't forget to mention my favorite stuntman/actor of all time Carl Ciarfalio who plays Paulie aka Is this a meat cleaver in my hand or are you just happy to see me? (Tony Doggs in Casino + 4000 other things)

Seagal is now a well-established piece of shit but it was always right there in front of us. The scene where he holds court with his wife is fucking painful. He sits high above her, she on the floor at his feet looking up at his big meaty gob as he spins this saccharine tale about some gd neighborhood man being ground down by life and dying of a broken heart.

She looks at him tenderly “It was your father, wasn't it?”

What in the actual fuck? They're married and she never knew his backstory? She let him blow his balls in her, she bore him some dimwitted little dago dipshit and she never even knew what her father in law did for a living? She never understood Gino's private pain? Who are these people? Mama mia!

The version I've been watching most of my life no longer exists if you upgrade to the blu. The movie famously used to showcase some real hack editing but it's been streamlined nicely. They also restored the John Leguizamo scene where Richie steals his drugs and shoots him in an alley.

There's some other business: a puppy named "Courage", 4000 squibs, bouncing boobs, a huge narcoleptic wiseguy, more shitty Italian stereotypes PLUS they hang out in L'Amour so if any of you Type O Negative fans wanna know what Pete was talking about in “Unsuccessfully Coping w/ the Natural Beauty of Infidelity” you've got front row seats.

This movie is 1991. If you lived it, it's fun to go back. If you didn't, take it with a grain of salt and enjoy the ride. It's hard to justify watching any of his "work" these days but he had about 10 minutes before he totally shit the bed. Essential viewing.

@watching-pictures-move & I decided to tackle this shit fest and as always he manages to be the classy one. You can read his thoughts on the movie here We considered ripping Fire Down Below a new asshole but Seagal already has more attention than he deserves. This was a fun experiment but I think if we do this again we might stick to the sleazy, obscure stuff cause that's more our wheelhouse.

[artsyrissa]

This fun little thing has been going around twitter. I said who needs likes when you can have tav lore! So, I answered them all! here they are:

1. Her birth name is Suspiria, she later took on the last name windfall after her late care taker Wynona Windfall a sweet dwarf alchemist living in the secluded woods beyond baldurs gate. Suspiria is an asmodeous tiefling beast master ranger with a wolf named Karma. Her background is charlatan from her time living under her slavers, but she could also have a little bit of an outlander background after she escaped. Her pronouns are she/her and her alignment is chaotic neutral, but leaning chaotic good.

2. Suspiria was a charlatan in baldurs gate making some shady deals to get by. She probably was up to some scheme to make a quick dollar when she was captured.

3. She slept with astarion, but ultimately fell in love with Gale. They have some history, even though they didn’t realize it at first.

4. After the romance drama settled, her an astarion became besties. Her and karlach are also very well. She never liked wyll, and found him very annoying, but karlach cared about him, so she tried to treat him with respect and had his back along the journey.

5. Many of the tieflings died on their journey through the shadow cursed lands. This really hurt her, but she would never show it. she tried everything to protect her kin, but she couldn’t save them all.

6. Post game, she is happily married to Gale & living in waterdeep. She raises hunter pets, mostly wolves, and helps train hunter pets and young rangers a few times a week. She never imagined herself settling down, but it was what she never knew she truly wanted.

7. Supiria has no living blood family left, at least not to her knowledge, but she has a mother figure in her life who took her in a few years after she escaped her slave owner.

8. She specializes in archery, but she is naturally inclined to the arcane to some degree and knows a few cantrips and healing spells.

9. Her proudest moment was saving the tieflings in the emerald grove and sticking it to Khaga. She looks out for her kin whenever she can.

10. She has thigh high leather boots that also act as sufficient armor. At camp she like to be comfortable, and prefers to let a little skin show

11. She feels most relaxed being in nature, preferably by a lake or stream.

12. She originally took Raphael’s deal out of a moment of weakness. She doesn’t always look past her own self interest right away, since she had to look out for herself for so long. But karlach talked some sense into her, and she was thrilled to put Raphael in his place and steal all his treasure. She had helped yugir back in the sharran temple, so he helped her to break into Raphael’s, which solidified her decision to break the contract.

13. She doesn’t follow any gods, she strongly dislikes gods and feels they’re selfish beings who toy with mortals for fun, this was further confirmed for her after falling for Gale.

14. She was living on the outskirts of baldurs gate, doing odd jobs and adventures to earn some coin. She liked being free and untethered to any one place after being forced to stay in one place as a slave

15. She got along very well with Zevlor and had immense respect for him. She looks up to him like a father now.

16. She didn’t know her guardian, she was a tough and beautiful drow, so she was less hesitant to trust her than she would have been with another person, since drow also face similar societal challenges.

17. Suspirias tiefling village was raded when she was about 5 years old, her parents were killed and she was sold into slavery on the black market. She had several slave owners over the years and lived in a few different places. Some were worse than others, but they were all abusive. Her last owner was an older human man. He was a bad man, but never hurt her like the others, but she ultimately killed him and ran away to escape slavery all together. She was around 12 when she escaped.

18. Hurting astarion, not so much sleeping with him, but for leading him on and hurting him in the end. Although they’ve all moved on at this point, it weighed heavy on her for a while.

19. These slide off easily, but good luck breaking down those walls.

20. Not in particular

21. Teasing in more ways than one 😉 and sarcasm and hugging, which is reserved for only those she cared for most

22. Before the journey, her greatest fear was falling in love, or having someone she was afraid to lose. After, losing her friends and/or her Husband.

23. She actually felt some level of empathy for ketheric, she longed for her family desperately too once, especially when she was young, and she made some poor decisions because of it. She hated gortash and Orin, they were selfish and sloppy and too stupid to have so much power.

24. She carried a book Gale gave her everywhere, although she didn’t recognize it was his at the start of the journey. They only met once briefly as children and he gave her the book because he didn’t want her to be lonely.

25. Her last slave owner was not too far from baldurs gate, when she ran away and was eventually taken in by wynona, she started going there often to help her caretaker sell her potions, and to collect supplies, etc.

26. the Balthazar fight was so hard! She wasnt comfortable with the terrain and that jerk reminded her of slavers, keeping alin like that. It really got to her head. She was trying to be supportive of ShadowHeart, but she was frustrated with her inability to see her goddess for what she is.

27. Realizing she was in love with Gale and realizing he was on a suicide mission. She was furious with mystra and elminster and even with Gale for considering it, and she didn’t want to accept her love for him. She mostly suffered in silence, but her team noticed her mind was elsewhere from time to time.

28. Her reputation before was very much charlatan. She was scheming and sly, and kind of a bitch, and she liked it. She intimidated her way through many schemes and caused quite a bit of trouble in her time in baldurs gate.

29. She isn’t really a morning person, so she often stayed up late. She did a lot of the hunting and gathering, collecting firewood and finding food and medicine for the group.

30. She freed Orpheus and let him take on the illithid form, since she refused. She has come a long way, but she is still very self serving in some lights. (I didn’t have lazel in my original run, but I am replaying and have lazel this time, so her ending may change) still ends up with Gale in the end no matter what.

Thank you for coming to my rant. Ok bye 👋😅

[omegawhiskers]

Why I started watching WWE again

The earliest memory I have of professional wrestling is The Undertaker/Yokozuna feud. This fond memory was the catalyst to moulding my enjoyment to this form of entertainment.

Years later I began watching WWE/WWF on a full-time basis because it was aired weekend mornings. The Stone Cole Steve Austin/Vince McMahon feud hooked me. As a child, it was an awesome to see an authority type figure getting their ass kicked. Both McMahon and Austin produced classics moments in wrestling history. I bought PPV’s on VHS such as St Valentine’s Day Massacre. I must of watched that tape a couple of times a day over the next few weeks.

WWE became a part of my life. I made it my business to watch Raw and Smackdown every week; I even watched Velocity and Sunday Night Heat. I couldn't get enough! I tried to get my hands on stuff from independents and in 2004 I did some pro wrestling training. But if WWE was such an important part of my life then why did I stop watching it?

2017 wasn’t the worst year in WWE. The Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens feud was fantastic, The Hardyz returned, Kurt Angle was inducted into the Hall of Fame, The Shield reunited, and Samoa Joe made his debut. Despite all of this, a babyface Roman Reigns just couldn’t get over and Jinder Mahal was WWE Champion. I’m not even going to go into the House of Horrors match, but it was something. But it’s OK to have bad moments. They can teach you to never repeat those mistakes again…or can they?

2018 was worse. Some moments left a bad taste in my mouth such as Dean Ambrose turning heel on his fellow Shield member, Seth Rollins. This was the same night that Roman announced that he had leukemia. What the fuck was Vince thinking? The storyline was uglier than a dog’s dinner. Dean would leave the company less than a year later. WWE also went into a controversial deal with Saudi Arabia. The Saudi PPV saw Shane McMahon win WWE World Cup tournament becoming the ‘’Best in the World’’.  This is the same PPV where Shawn Michaels came out of retirement for an awful tag team bout. The worst part to 2018 was on December 17, when Vince McMahon came to the ring followed by Stephanie McMahon, HHH and Shane. Stephanie would go on to say ‘’We haven’t been doing a good for you lately.’’ She would rattle on about not listening to us, the fans. We were told that we were now the authority. This was such a surreal moment.

Months prior we got the first All In PPV that would eventually lead to the formation of All Elite Wrestling. The All In card was stacked and displayed some incredible matches that left me wanting more. I started to binge watch BTE on YouTube as well as a history The Bullet Club. I began to attend Irish wrestling shows from Over The Top Wrestling. The first shows I went to featured Will Ospreay, Gunther and Pac. Seeing new talent and the interesting ways they told stories was refreshing. Witnessing smaller promotions putting on better shows compared to a billion-dollar company creating mediocre content was shocking to me.

Appointing us - the fans - as the authority figure was a great rib by WWE as they continued to sling crap in our faces as 2019 saw The Undertaker battling Goldberg in another Saudi show that resulted embarrassing bout. You can visibly see the disappointed on Taker's face post-match. Kurt Angle would have his retirement match against Baron Corbin. Angle is on my mount Rushmore, so for his career to lead to anti-climax was a disgrace. Seth Rollins was on a babyface run and I was enjoying it, until the infamous Hell in the Cell match with The Fiend. This match should have been a decent bout, but the arena was casted in ugly red light and the finish came in form a DQ. During a live reaction broadcast WWE were putting out at the time, X-Pac said ‘’You may not ask me back for one of these but how do you get DQ’d in a Hell in a fricking Cell match.’’ I often ask myself this. Things would get worse when Kofi Kingston was squashed in seven seconds against Brock Lesner. Kofi’s six-month title reign came to an abrupt and miserable end and so did my love for WWE. At this point I felt cheated and insulted. How can I continue to watch a product that simply didn't care?

At the tail end of 2019, AEW was launched. The new promotion featured new faces, different styles of wrestling and an opportunity for talent to thrive. I gravitated towards this. I periodically watched WWE clips, but it was clear Vince was out of touch. Talent were also fired during the pandemic. It was as if Vince didn't care anymore. Remembers Erik Rowen’s spider? On top of all this, Vince's scandal was aired across the internet. During this insane time, Vinny had the balls to appear on Smackdown just to wave his ego around.

So, what's changed?

I watched night 1 of WrestleMania and I was impressed. The highlight was Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte Flair. I liked what I saw with the Bloodline storyline. It was great to see Cody Rhodes, and a heel Dominik Mysterio intrigued me. I kept up with things and noticed consistent story telling. With Vince gone, it felt like everything was moving in a cohesive way. Yes, Vince gave us years of entertainment, but he also held on for too long and it was clear it was causing damage.

I decided to tune back into WWE full time and write about my viewing experience. If you’ve read my past posts, then you know that I still have issues with WWE, but I’ve never seen a promotion do anything perfect. I think WWE do a much better job with their women’s division and keeping storylines simple and clear, but they lack on match quality with many silly finishes. They play things safe, but that's okay. For now I'm enjoying the ride. And that's good enough.