#and i fucking love the poem SO MUCH and i wish i didnt have to limit myself to fucking 5000 signs

[thereprisesystem]

bedtime gang !!!!!!!!!! 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[ohshy]

Feelin kinda down so fuck it- how about some burnt bread hcs if you got any?

If not, how about disco kid?

~ fan-mans

hope u feel better soon bro ! also HELL YEAH BURNT BREAD !!!!!!!! one of my favorites :3

so where does it all begin? well.... (under the cut bc its Long)

aran didnt actually have to use any of dirty tricks to take joe down, so they didn't start off on that bad of a foot, or a bad foot at all. (fighting is par for the course for this sport, of course.)

that being said though, you still see n hear things ab eachother, and have assumptions as a result. Aran initally sees joe as a snobby, wimpy man, and joe aran as a scary, unpredictable brute.

eventually, however, aran starts looking at joe... a little differently. he pranks him a lot because yknow. its funny. but joe doesnt seem to mind it at all... in fact, he takes his pranks really well, and it makes aran see strong joe is in a way and how much of a sense of humor he has.

joe at the other hand, noticed that aran, outside the ring, was actually fairly tame, outside of his pranks of course. it helped a lot with mellowing his perception of him. combine this joe's many hobbies and aran's try-everything attitude, and youve got the start of a click !

news of their little budding relationship spreads around the minor- and world circuit, and kaiser begins to take notice ab how joe talks ab aran, how hed normally b horrified at the prospect of him being anywhere NEAR him.

so one day, in all his eternal german grace, he says...

''well if you love him so much, why don't you two kiss, hm?''

and joe hadnt gotten that thought out of his head since.

as for disco kid hcs, ive already told most of them so ill talk ab how the minor circuit reacted to joe wanting to confess to aran instead !!

disco, albeit kinda scared of aran, is ecstatic for joe, wishes him luck and wants to know EVERYTHING about how it went afterward

i imagine hippo would be pretty whatever about it. guy isnt too concerned ab peoples love lifes. wishes him luck like disco tho.

meanwhile kaiser? ''Eh, it is your funeral''

I imagine the world circuit wouldn't be as close with eachother seeing as how theyre busier n likely more hounded by journalists, but they do know in broad terms what goes on in the lives of eachother.

so macho catches wind of aran's crush, and he basically shittalks joe to arans face

''I know everyone's standards are too high for you, but joe's just a sad bar, even for you.''

Aran, not even reacting to the dig against him, starts ranting to macho about how joe is admirable as all hell for getting back up after 99 losses, and how that must mean he has a real love and respect for the sport. He even boldly exclaims that joe arguably works harder than macho, the victories who seems to come so easily to him.

macho eventually leaves, deciding aran's not worth his precious time.

aran then turns around, and OMG HE SEES JOE STANDING THERE !!!!!

anyway he heard all about what aran said (thats right, overhearing ooc conversations and miscommunication happening is OUT, overhearing conversations and gaining respect for someone is IN), and confesses right there and then. aran, hearing prolly the most romantic speech thats ever been directed to him in his entire life, is at a loss for words. He can't say anything other than ''of course, joey.''

and thats the start of their relationship :3

as for other misc hcs that dont fit anywhere else...

one time, when cleaning out aran's jacket pockets (joe's a bit of a neat freak), he found... a bunch of lint. But also !! he found a ton of crumpled up notes. They included phrases for the ring, comedic poems... but they also had affirmations for himself, about his family, but also about joe. joe, sans the lint, left the pockets as is. ever since then though, he's felt closer to him than ever.

joe will often try to pick up aran like a princess. considering hes still decently muscled, he can do it succesfully.

joe loves baking, especially bread, but aran will ALWAYS manage to set something on fire. think spencer from icarly.

they infodump to eachother ab their respective countries histories and folk tales, joe esp ab the former n aran ab the latter.

one time, joe and aran set out for a night walk. then, they (or rather aran) thought he heard a banshee screech. what they actually heard prolly was a car tire screeching in the distance. aran, however, was never the less scared SHITLESS and ran tf home, screaming highpitched. He had to be comforted by joe all night after they got home.

aran loves going to theme parks. he loves the rush. joe, however, hates the tall rides like the rollercoasters, n prefers the calmer rides like the teacups. They have a ''goes onto the rollercoaster alone'' x ''holds the persons stuff while theyre gone'' dynamic.

they rly like singing duets together, especially after a couple drinks. wine in joe's case and beer in arans case. theyve sang at macho's parties before as well, and needless to say they make for great entertainment.

aran often sends joe cursed memes n selfies that joe just Does Not understand

''aran, i will Not hold feet with you, zat's disgusting''

''come on joey..... do ye love me or not......''

[angstintensifer]

Bugborg incorrect quotes ! I love this two so much!

Mantis : Change is inedible.

Nebula : Don't you mean inevitable?

Mantis , spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Mantis : I turned out perfectly fine!

Nebula : Mantis , this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Mantis : I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Mantis : Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Nebula , not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Mantis :

Mantis : fsh

Mantis : Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Nebula : If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life

Nebula: Valentine’s Day is a Terran consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than driving people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Mantis: I wrote you a poem!

Nebula already crying; you did?

Mantis : You saved me. I owe you my life.

Nebula : No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

Mantis : How do I deal with my enemies?

Nebula : Kill them

Mantis : That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Nebula : Kill them only a little?

Mantis : I’m in love with you.

Nebula : We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Mantis : I know.

Nebula : Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Nebula : This date is boring!

Mantis : This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Nebula : Then why did you invite me?

Mantis : I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Mantis I'll do whatever I want!

Mantis : I have feelings for you.

Nebula : Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Mantis : I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Nebula : Aren't you forgetting something?

Mantis : Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Nebula 's forehead before running out.*

Nebula : No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

Nebula : That was so hot, Mantis .

Mantis : I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Nebula : I'm so in love with you.

Mantis : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Nebula : It was autocorrect.

Mantis : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Nebula : Yes.

Mantis : Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Nebula : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

[istherewifiinhell]

the ways in which we are So Fucking Back, cannot even BEGIN to be communicated.

[Splinter Forever. Story: lloyd Goldfine. Art: Khary Randolph Colours: Emilio Lopez Letters: Tom Napolitano and Shawn Lee]

[ID: 03 show styled comic, the turtles crowd around splinter with looks of concern/relief. Splinter doing his best to hug them all back but saying "You so know I could have freed myself anytime I wished too..." Splinter narration: ...And, even if given forever... END] Next narration: I could not have dreamed of one better.

idw 40th anniversary book. various caps i took cause i really liked them (by they way the few stories i did NOT cap is not cause i didnt like em by any means. and for some it was cause i was TOO SAD! i liked them SO MUCH! they HURT to LOOK AT. kay thx)

book creds. Editor: Nicolas Niño. Supervising Editor: Jamie S. Rich. Design: Nathan Widick

might as well start with the 03 one cause its already up there

[ID: 1. Action shot the turtles jumping thru a window, in varied cool poses, rimlit in blue moonlight. Leo: Mikey, thin out the foot! Donnie, free Splinter! Shredder's mine! Raph: I got hun! Mikey, singing: Turtles, count it off! Splinter, narrating: Here, I speak not of mutation… but of my sons, could I ever have dreamed I would become a father. 2. Action shot of turtles and Splinter together, all yelling a "Hai-yah!" Splinter narration: Never has there been a father prouder of his children. END]

ur reminder that 03 is the one that was literally just a rat b4 mutation. sometimes life hands u 4 reptiles and some weird alien go and u go. okay these are my beautiful children now

and you know the tweets like. i gotta accept u didnt make the tmnt? u gotta accept youll DIDNT draw a rat this SICK. his swag. unparalleled.

[ID: Splinter punching the Shredder, cropped close, the line of motion accented by his rodent features, carrying from his tail and digitigrade leg, to the pointed tip of his snout. His fur nicely emphasized from show style. END]

okay in presented order now. (again. only the ones im emotionally strong enough for) it opened with eastman's, four pages to a poe poem, Deep lorey in its own way. ALSO SAD!

[Monsters. Story, Art and Letters: Jim Lawson Colours: Steve Lavigne]

[ID: A very squared jaw turtle style, bold black likes of varying thickness, lots of hashing. It's Raph turning to look over his shoulder with a "Hmp", mask tails flowing behind his head. END]

eeeeee lookit him. mwah. [me explaining] u see. mirage turtles. there so lumpy. and thats EXCELLENT

[Gang Wars. Story: Tristan Jones. Art: Paul Harmon Letters: Tom Napolitano]

[ID: Rounded head, prominent beak, almost movie puppet turtle style. Art has strong penwork , filled with hatching, but soft impressionistic colours, looking both loose yet detailed. 1. Mike is carrying a women as he climbs a ladder. She's tipped almost complete upside down over his shell. Her narration: You perspective shifts... Soft pinkish hue lights them from below. 2. Mike jumping from the roof with a cheerful "Gotta run!", smiling and offering as salute, both nunchaku in hand. Warm golden light hitting his front as he's half turned. END]

HI. I dont recognize your name (YET) Mr harmon sir. but would u like my award for most gorgeous colour rendering on any mutant turtles ever ever in the whole wide world. (sobbing) mikey.... my boy. my beloved loved boy

(there was comics also repping the image and archies runs here. neither of which ive read yet, SORRY. all the same they were both VERY CHARMING)

[What About Tomorrow. Story: Eric Burnham. Art: Sarah Myer Colour: Luis Antonio Delgado Letters: Shawn Lee]

[ID: 87 show styled comic. Raph is quipping to the villain (or perhaps the audience) "Don't tell me… Sherlock Holmes?" He has a hand on hip, side eyeing Donnie very strongly and says "Don't give me that look, Donatello. He said guess!" Don is looking at him so incredibly flatly. END]

have u literally very seen something more perfect than that. look at their fucking FACESSSSS. urghh. characterization? perfect. u can hear it. i controlled myself here. i didnt cap the entire fucking comic

[ID: Splinter smiling, eyes close, we see what he is reminiscing on. His human self, reading a book and holding the for normal baby turtles. He say "When I was Hamato Yoshi, I could never have guessed I'd become a mutant rat. Or that I would raise four turtles into heroes I am endlessly proud of. END]

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING RAT. and his turtle sons. (he doesnt call them sons in this cartoon but their his fuckinngggg sons.)

splinter forever we covered.

[Kraang Among Us. Story and Art: Ciro Nieli Letters: Shawn Lee]

[ID: A 2012 show styled comic, Nieli's style having a punky marker quality to it in comic form. 1. Drawn small, the turtles character-fully posed. Raph casual and aside, Leo earnest out front, Mikey excited and ready, Donnie last, interest in a beeping gadget. 2. Leo bowing on the ground solemn/serene. 3. Graphically bold panel, Mikey has a hand up, smiling cockily, saying "STOP! …My turn. Hit it, Ice Cream Kitty!" Ice cream kitty, (indeed a cat made of Neopolitan) Clicks on a boom box. 4. Donnie says "This can't be good��", with a look of shock at his gadget, wall of text Beeping behind him. A sort of pink viscera explosion just barely in view. END]

which im particular stunned by seeing nieli's creations rendered in 2 dimensions. they looks so fucking good! tho, from all the other aesthetic makers within the show, it totally make sense, the sort of, graphic pop grime. donnie in partic looks so cute, feel like his look is possible BETTER suited for this than the cg, sorry stringbean.

no raph stunner shot sorry he was only in like 2 panels lol.

Rises "Farewell Story" was here. In which Andy Suriano made me cry and cheer and. GUH. look on the internet. u might see some shit. Also a showing from IDW mainline in "Father's Day"... can u maybe GUESS? fantastic gut punch.

[Teen Spirit: Story: Ronda Pattison Art: Pablo Tunica Letters: Tom Napolitano]

[ID: The current mainline comics look, influence from Campbell. The turtles are round and bulky, a light touch used defining the contours of their heads. Wearing grey lose clothes and white limb wraps. Clean detailed black line, water colour like detailed render. All five turtles in a rocky forest, various states of concentration to summon colour coded magic energies. Jennika on her stomach, kicking feat, playful. Leo hunched close to his, looking intent. Raph with tongue out, first in one hand. Donnie, in eyes closed mediation. Mikey, his hands over head, a rain of fallen leaves from his dispersed magic. He says "Whoops!" END]

Pattison I recconize as a prolific idw turtle colourist. tunica i dont but is another i WILL have to be on the look out for. who doesnt like the sophie campbell era of turtle. they are SOOOO. everything. to me.

bro. which fucking continuity has them all so fucking cute magic hijinks mentored by the SHREDDER. cant wait to find out (i think there was some ghilbi visual ref moments esp. in his panels. VERY CUTE. lord help us all) looook at them. look at raph :p. LOOK AT JENNY JENNY JENNIKA.

okay. thats it. hey guys? turtles is good.

[irritablepoe]

no but ive only read a tell tale heart from the real author but just from that,,,i dont think poe would be very normal abt relationships especially with ranpo......i didnt finish perfume by patrick suskind (got kinda bored not bc it's bad but bc i just found something i like more ) but the secretive and quiet but extreme obsession of the main character reminded me so much of poe??? and i think i read somewhere that the real ranpo chose edogawa rampo as a penname because it sounds so much like edgar allan poe and even rampo's book title is like poe’s right it only added japanese at the beginning before the ‘tales of mystery and imagination’ so it's not rlly far off that their bsd counterparts would totally be paranoid and intense w each other <333

dont be sorry abt loving this ship a lot!! in fact,,,if possible, could u share a lil bit more of ur headcanons abt them hehehheehehhe i dont see them portrayed in this light often (like u said v v rare)

i think telltale heart is a good example of poe's writing tbh, his works often revolve around obsession and delusion but also with grief if you look at "the raven" for example (especially his poems are about grief and death a lot so)

i've not read perfume but i know the general plot i think and yeah it probably fits well

AND YES edogawa rampo chose this pen name partly bc of edgar allan poe, he also references poe's works in his mysteries which is fun!! both of them also partly write horror, especially edogawa rampo's works shook me to the core, it's so well-written but also so disturbing, i wouldn't recommend them just like that bc of body horror and uhh fetish writing ig? but the cases of akechi kogoro are also so fun to read as well and you can actually try and solve the mystery yourself!!

ANYWAYS, this was a lot of praising lol, i just really really love both of their works :D and these works are also part of why i think they're both fucked up in the head lol

my biggest headcanon i'm saving for when my fanfic catches up to what i've already written lol, so i'm not spoilering that (but if you wanna know i can dm you :3)

other headcanons that i've curated during the past months:

poe has some sort of dissociative disorder, he dissociates when he's too overstimulated or sth triggers him, also he possibly struggles with intrusive thoughts

ranpo has autism and npd

poe has a brother in america, his parents died when he was young

he had a drug or alcohol problem after he lost to ranpo - the guild giving him an opportunity to get revenge motivated him enough to mostly recover though

poe has some really dark fantasies and sometimes he lets it slip during crime investigations - ranpo doesn't mind, he's even amused

ranpo also secretly loves it when poe brags

ranpo and poe started stalking each other (maybe even since the beginning) until one of them realised and send a very clear signal that the other couldn't miss and since then they've been flirting via sending secret messages in a language only they know to each other - basically consensual stalking (yes i'm completely normal)(also i haven't decided who realised first but it was probably ranpo - i love the thought of ranpo getting all flustered too tho)

poe didn't only lose to ranpo in that mystery game. he also lost his reputation, his friends, his admirers. there was more going on there, they probably met before the competition and they were intrigued by each other before it all went downhill

when poe isolated himself he only had contact to his brother who desperately tried to get him out of his headspace. but he himself isn't the best at having stable relationships + he's also an alcoholic (inspired by irl poe's brother henry)

they're both incredibly jealous and do anything to keep the others attention on them (ranpo giving candy to poe to get his attention back, poe being pretty dramatic and acting up a lot, also obeying every wish ranpo has)

ranpo must have told poe about fukuzawa and fukuchi for him to be able to write about their past for when they were drawn into his novel - so that means they actually sat together and talked about their past. which is insane to me

i do have another headcanon post but i couldn't find it ahhh, but it has to be buried somewhere in all the ranpoe postings lol

okay that was a lot, thank you if you read all that tho hehe :3 and thank you for asking, i love talking about them hsdkjfsdhjfs

[etherape]

feeling bluh all the time so here you guys have a ryhme *p.s. sorry about any typos its the rough draft of a poem/rap

im writing poetry thats a bad sign

im completely gone

And I dont feel fine

Everything feels wrong

Everythings on the line

The nights are getting long

im running out of time

getting angry at myself

living in a dangerous hell

And i know it cant help

But shit aint going well

And im pavloved by the bell

That my phone let out

But no matter how much i shout

The screen wont love me back

No matter how much i tap

It wont ever amount

To half a slow clap

in a constant state of strife

 cant tell if im wrong or right

I  think i just hate my life

I think theres no end in sight

I just wanna i to see the light

But everything is fucked up

Everything is shite

You know i aint gonna shut up

You know im  gonna fight

I know i might sound stuck up

How maybe just a leg up

You probably think my rhymes suck

Im just hoping for a bita luck

I know i aint the cream of the crop

I just hope life aint a set up

I hope life aint a cop

You kow im getting fed up

You know gotta keep the feds up

They be staring through my webcam

With their coffee cup

Watching me go ham

Looking shit i shouldnt up

You know what they say outta mind outta sight

But im so angry my visions going white

You knwo what they say about rows and ducks

I fucking wish i didnt give a fucking  fuck

I hope everything goes alright

I hope this doesnt suck

Someone got a light?

I wanna hurt my lungs

I know that cigs are shite

But Thats how i wanna end my night

I know that smoke aint it

But thats how ill end my life

When they push i pull

But when i need it they never help

Aint that a load of bull

Been a while since this is how the angers felt

Been Thinking of the belt clanking

That i could do nothing to stop

Been thinking of shanking

The woman i call my opp

Ive got a hankering

To make her stop

But i digress

I cant digest

The rage inside

But i do my best to hide

Breathing kinda works

Im trying to keep calm

My chest kinda hurts

And im trying not to vom

[bunny-heels]

oh i should give my thoughts on Final Draft since i finally finished it. spoilers below

so the ONLY thing i didn't like was that there wasnt a lot of new manuscripts or videos to find. i probably missed a couple pages because i didnt look around as much, but i am sad that the 3rd Darling video is gonna be for the Lake House and the 2nd Door video is gonna be for Night Springs. i dont mind waiting to see them but i wish the collectibles menu didnt list it as incomplete cause its not even in the game yet. but i'll gladly wait to see them.

okay on to actual thoughts.

finding the dark poems on the surface world was a big splash of whiplash, and i liked how they were placed throughout the game, especially with the order of how i switch realities, it felt perfect.

the beginning with Saga telling Casey that she used to be into geology and she helped Logan with a science fair project, but basically did it for her and Casey going "oh thats basically a CRIME, Anderson". that was adorable. i love their dynamic so much it hurts.

ALSO IM SO HAPPY THEY PUT IN THE LINES FOR THE SALT SHAKER MEMORY. i'll come clean and say i've heard the audio before from when my boyfriend went through the files, but it made me so happy to hear it in-game. Casey is so fucking cute. and the fact that Saga notes that Casey doesn't joke around with literally anyone else, showing that he trusts Saga so much. i love this man i love him i love him i need to nibble on him like a dog nibbles on a plush toy

Darling's videos were very fun to watch. i loved that he didn't really care that he was trapped in the Dark Place because to him it was just a new thing to research and make experiments with. i'm assuming after he realized Alan sounded like him that he tried not to think about too much at first, but that's definitely going to be something that fucks with his brain later

Darling and Zane fucked for sure im convinced of that. if i had to pair any other characters together besides Saga and Casey then it's Darling and Zane. fucking Zane saying Kippis as he takes a drink with him too. i'm killing this man. theres apparently a theory that they both created Alan and that's why he looks like Zane but sounds like Darling. if thats true, then Sam Lake is a fucking genius for making it that a brilliant artist and an advanced scientist made the stupidest writer son on the planet and it somehow worked. at least the one thing they have in common is all three of them deep down have selfish bastard tendencies.

but even if Alan's a bastard he loves Alice so so so fucking much and it was literally their love and memories of each other that brought them back together along with Saga putting some sense into him to actually think about others, not just him and Alice. i hope Alice is doing okay and that she got to be reunited with Alan as soon as possible.

Tor and Odin showing up in the Dark Place was adorable, and im so happy that apparently they're fine with Door now, after what happened in '88. i'm assuming what brought them to finally come to an agreement was that they wanted what was best for Saga and Alan. i hope Logan and David get to meet Tor and Odin at some point in-canon, even if its off screen. i'm still curious on what's gonna happen the next time Alan and Door meet, or when that's even gonna happen, but i guess that's either gonna be in the DLCs or even in Control 2. i also hope Tim gets out and gets to finally be face-to-face to Door, which is probably also gonna happen in either DLC or Control 2.

finally the ending. i thought it was perfect. i've seen people say it was too easy and that there shouldve been more ambiguity. i'll be honest, i think the ending is a perfect blend of closure and opened interpretation. Alan finally got out and Logan is alive now, which is wonderful, but now it's the question of what's happening outside the writer's room. what's going on at the Lake House? why did the FBC go dark? did Tim get out? are Saga and Casey now going to be dragged into the FBC full-time because Kiran deputized them?

we also still don't know what happened to Darling after meeting with Tom [at least i havent cause i refuse to watch the leaked third video]. is Darling gonna be able to figure out his way through the Dark Place? is he gonna get the chance to meet Door and Tim? is he gonna indirectly cause Jesse or Dylan or both of them to go into the Dark Place in Control 2? is Darling being the Dark Place a good thing at all? does he ever figure out how he ended up there after trying to stop the Hiss? is he aware that Trench is gone and Jesse is the new Director?

i think the most the ending does is just show that Alan's part in the RCU is MOSTLY done, at least for now. to me this looks like a chance for him to show up more often in other things and to maybe help with what's happening at the FBC. the most i hope for him at the moment is he meets up with Alice again, and ESPECIALLY meets up with Barry, though i hope the Blessed organization haven't done anything to him, which is another thing that i hope gets touched on.

anyways i'm very happy i finished it im so excited :]

[hyunjinspark]

i read the new chapter n jade..... my heart burned so badly, everything seems to be crumbling down all over n to think this has been yns long wished for dream that turned out a nightmare.. i have a few annotates to make!! ill out them below, its my first time so i rlly hope its not messy >.<

“Of course not” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, continuing to add details to his little map, right now he was adding the 7/11 between your house and Aera’s.

hyun thinking of yn neighborhood so fondly n cherishing the scenery sm let alone remember it to add to his painting was so heart wrenching in a good way.. it made me smile

“Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to be possible Jinnie. And…you’re probably gonna have to get the flowers tomorrow” Chan suddenly said, filling up the blender with ingredients.

i knew exactly where this was going n for some reason it made me rlly sulky.... hyuns hectic life ;—;

“No, but my girlfr-“ Hyunjin stopped in his sentence, clearing his throat, and he could feel Chan’s gaze burn curiously into him, “Um…one of my friends is. He’s her favourite artist in the world”

i was blushing so hard here, i got so flustered, i hope yn finds out abt this, the subconsciously calling her his girlfriend, its so!!!!!!! god!!!!!!

He saw your eyes widen, and a deep emotion overwhelmed you. He didn’t see you react more, and he wondered what this meant to you, what he meant to you right now, even so far away. You didn't say anything back. You must be holding it all in, just like him. Maybe you didn’t know how to put your thoughts into words. He couldn't blame you. Even after reading all the poems in the world, Hyunjin didn’t have the words either. Not enough anyway.

i loved seeing more of hyuns heart during such conversations!!!!! we havent gotten much of it so i cherish it all dearly n feeling hyuns sincerity towards yn from such insights, he better tell her sooner or later, poor yns heart deserves to know ;—; especially after the mess going on for a while now

I want you here with me at this party. Fuck, it’s so dull without you. If you were here, we could just sneak off and…I would kiss you. Positively. My manager is here, the scary one, but he doesn’t have to know. Earlier, I was reading a book and there was an English word in it that reminded me of you. Saudade. I looked it up because I was so curious and it said it’s a state of melancholy for a beloved someone or something. I think that explains this ridiculous feeling I have when I think of you. I have it even when I’m not thinking of you. Like last week, when we were recording this one song. It’s like you’re here with me in everything. I guess what I’m saying is, I just want to kiss you really really badly and fuck I’m really drunk so I’m sorry for how this may sound but I just really need to feel you—

this was one of the hottest things ive read through slwy..... the words rnt coming out, but, the desperation n need in his words here melt me.. i am yet again nothing but a woman it seems, this was genuinely so hot. i cant say it enough. i kind of wish he wasnt cut off at the end.....

Suddenly the expensive bracelets he was wearing felt like shackles around Hyunjin’s wrists. 

When he got home that night, he realised the hydrangeas in his room had withered away completely.

the poetry/metaphors in these lines were beautiful jade :(

At your question, Hyunjin’s grip on the wheel tightened. His shoulders tensed up.

You'd struck a nerve.

Good.

yn getting some revenge this way was so satisfying to read. yes u struck a nerve n yes its good that u did!!!

hey. i was just talking with minho and man, i miss you

I know you’ve likely forgotten all about me but call me later please…I think ill die here without you

yongbok is so sweet, i do miss him n i didnt realize how much i did until reading his texts here

“She’s a really good artist” Hyunjin suddenly interrupted you.

proud boyfriend behavior. i dont know if u understand but this was so proud boyfriend!

He’d gotten so much better in your absence. You’d only gotten worse in his.

this just hurt. bc yes. :( hyun come back :(

“No, I’m not done talking. After losing you, moving to the city was the hardest thing I ever did. Leaving Daejon behind, all my friends…the only life I knew, and this place where I don’t really fit perfectly, but I’m trying so hard to. It is so hard. The only thing I love…I can’t even love that anymore because I can’t fucking stop thinking about you when I’m painting! It’s not fair. You had a choice, Hyunjin. I didn’t” Your voice broke.

hearing it all pour out of her is so heartbreaking bc it feels like theres so much more she wants to say but cant bc of how overwhelming it is, my chest felt heavy hearing her like this :(

“I…couldn’t leave you at the party. It’s not safe…of course I had to drive you home. I would go insane if something happened to you”

something happened to her when u disappeared, dummy..... u should go insane over that instead bc yn did. so did i. hyun come back!!!!! ;—;

Raindrops slowly trickled down, tracing the ruined paper in your palm. The only memory left of you and Hyunjin was now gone.

heart ripped off my chest. im v sentimental even w materials so this.... it rlly hurt.

“Fine” You heard it being passed around and then his voice came in, “Love. I’m here”

i had these copy pasted in my notes but i just got to send u this ask so im unsure if this was bbok or lino... im thinking bbok, hes so comforting amongst the chaos he seems to be the constant yn needs

Draped in a beige trench coat, cheeks red from the cold, Hyunjin stood at the bottom of your staircase.

nothing n i repeat NOTHING couldve prepared me for this. i did not expect it at all, everything was so fast i was ready to take in a deep calming breath n read along w yns quick decision to go back but now theres....... hyun. hyun is here n i cant wait to know the reason, what hell say or do, how yn feels n how it plays out.. im so nervous n once again looking forward to the next chapter >.<

u once again worded everything so beautifully n im sorry its getting repetitive by now but i love ur writing n the depth to it. i hold it dear to me, this story. thanku so much for writing it w so much love, jade<3

-🤍

idk how i missed answering this !! this is so sweet, i cherished reading every line and i absolutely LOVE when you annotate, it makes me feel appreciated and fuzzy and warm inside. thank you for pointing out your favorite parts 🥺

im glad you thought hyun’s text was hot, the desperation is really there haha. and thank you for appreciating all the little flower metaphors i sprinkled in there ! i loved reading this. thank you for loving this story so much, you make me happy.

[bongwaterbunny]

no please yell at me it's the only way I'll listen to you. you don't have to if it hurts you though. just talk to me. I love you I'll listen I promise

its just. idk. im scared all the time and i know theres no reason to be. there's no reason for me to be angry there's no reason for me to be so fucking upset over everything to do with you because its not your fault! seriously. we're both insanely sensitive and i should understand you better than i do but i see you call yourself pathetic and theres this part of me that wants to hurt you? not even hurt *you*, just. hurt the part of you that thinks so little of the person i love. if that makes sense. i know i sound dumb and you're probably uncomfortable reading this because i literally just said i wanted to hurt you but i love you so much. so. much. like i didnt sleep last night i was too busy writing and rewriting a poem to send you for valentines, and then i got scared again so i never did send it.

believe it or not, you're one of the (if not *the*) most important person in know. you stole my heart the day i met you and i just wish you would use it and realize how utterly amazing you are! you're not perfect, you're nowhere near perfect my love but neither am i. nobody is. perfect isn't real so you can't expect yourself to be perfect. you're human. you deserve just as much love as everyone, if not more. so please. please try to take care of yourself the same way you would take care of your favourite person in the world, ok? at least until i can drive out to you and do it for you?

[anyonghalimaw]

cactus, sage, and nutmeg! if you'd like

cactus -> something you're currently learning (about)?

im trying to get back into 3d modeling!! im kinda pissed at myself coz i first picked it up in like early 2019. ish? and if i just kept at it and didnt give up id be good at it by now but noooo i had to drop it like a little bitch so now im starting over at square one 😭😭 Forthe love of god i just want to animate my funny little dinosaur sona dancing to head over heels by abba. I WILL NOT GIVE UP THIS TIME UNTIL I MAKE IT REAL!!!

sage -> what 'medium' of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

MUSIC!!!!! oh my god. when it has lyrics especially like literally THE fusion of poetry and music. you can express so much thru a melody and when u throw some insane lyrics into that shit the possibilities are fucking ENDLESS!!!!!!!! for example cassandra by abba is so elevated by its solemn melody and arrangement like it wouldnt be the same if it was just a poem. the soft "im sorry cassandra, im sorry cassandra" repeating in the background of the chorus makes it sound so surreal like MY GOD!

nutmeg -> how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

god i WISH. due to [HOME ISSUES REDACTED] i cant rlly decorate my room how i like -_- also imfucking poor LOL idk if it counts as "decoration" but i do have my snail figurine and my hornet figures displayed :3 this is the Bug Enclosure neow. but if i Did have more control over it i wld have like glow in the dark stars and suncatchers EVERYWHERE

[too-tired-omg]

What are we?

Are we friends?

Are we lovers?

Are we the reason we hold back each other from falling in love?

No, we are not songs

We are not poems

Cause songs are poems and I cant believe we are that lovely

We are not Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl

We are not Phil and Claire

We are not Ross and Rachel

We are not the perfect couple that's slightly troubled

We are not movies

We are not them

What are we then?

Are we strangers?

Simple acquaintances?

No,

Cause I know your soul better than I know myself

Even when i wish I didn't even know your last name

So we are not friends

We are not art

We are not strangers

We are not in love

Or maybe we are in love

And we simply deny what hurst the most

But thats fine

You do you

I do me

We were never meant to be

And thats okay

Its not like i wished we could be it one day

Its not like i still complain to all my friends

About the pretty girl with the pretty eyes

That makes my heart run wild

Its not like i still write all my letters to you

Saying how much i miss us

Saying how hard it is

Pretending like i know how to hate what used to be another part of me

So, again,

What are we?

Are we a tragedy?

A comedy?

The bomb under the table the audience waits to explode

The plot twist in the novel everyone sees coming?

What are we?

What do you think?

Talk to me

Cause I don't talk to you but i see u in my dreams

And I hate how when i reach you are never here

The other side of the bed is cold

In the place i saved for you

When you broke up with me,

Cause you did,

That afternoon in my new house,

Just before classes started

You broke up with me

And I had cleaned a cupboard for your stuff

In case you wanted to leave things in my room

Cause that was gonna be me and you

Our space, our piece of heaven

And you said "no, lets just leave it while we are ahead of it"

And then you got jealous of that friend of us i used to fuck

And the you got jealous when we were drunk

And then I screwed up

But even then we didnt stop what we had

And this summer i made up my mind

No more games, no more charades

No more messing with our heads

I wanted a friend, not a hook

I wanted you, not the pain of not having you

So i left,

And trust me,

I regret the way i went away

But I don't regret the way i felt

Cause for once,

For once in forever

I felt like you didnt have leverage over the words i was saying

I told you i was a bad friend

I told you you were like drugs

And everytime i looked back

I couldn't help but wonder

What if this time happened?

We would try again and maybe it would work

I would make you fall in love

But of course i cant

And the ifs became the past

So, one last time

What are we?

Cause I think we were over the moment you laid eyes on me

[northlight14]

DnD incorrect quotes: Crimson Polycule edition

Aka Hecate X Keya X Flint, my dnd OC’s

—

Keya: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Hecate: | wrote you a poem.

Keya, already crying: You did?

—

Flint: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Keya: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.

Flint: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

—

Flint: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness-

Hecate: Hi.

Flint: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

—

Flint: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?

Keya: Yes?

Flint: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.

Keya: Fuck.

Flint: It's gonna be a fun week!

Keya: I'm going to Hecate's house.

Flint: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

—

Keya: I'm in love with you.

Flint: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Keya: I know.

Flint: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

—

Keya: How do I make a date really romantic?

Flint: Be mysterious.

Кеуа: Okay!

*later, while on a date with Hecate*

Hecate: So where are we going?

Keya: None of your fucking business.

—

Flint: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Hecate: Okay.

Flint: And make out during the scary parts.

Hecate: Th-

Hecate: The scary parts.

Hecate: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

—

Flint: This date is boring!

Keya: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Flint: Then why did you invite me?

Keya: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Keya I'll do whatever I want!

—

Flint: Did Keya just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Hecate: Yeah, they did.

Flint: And did I just do finger guns back?

Hecate: Yeah, you did.

—

Hecate: Okay, I'm going to get the wedding cake.

Flint: Perfect, while you do that I'll check on the ring bear.

Hecate: ...

Hecate: You mean ring bearER, right?

Flint: ...

Hecate: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

—

Keya, at Hecate: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Flint, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

—

Hecate: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I'm your girlfriend?

Keya: Dude- Its satire!

Hecate: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

—

Flint: *kisses Keya*

Keya: !

Flint: ...Did you steal my chapstick?

Keya: Did- did I what?

Flint: My chapstick, Keya. Did you steal it?

Hecate: Flint, for the love of God, not this again.

Keya: I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.

Flint: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.

Keya: Chocolate and popcorn?

Hecate: Why do you think it got discontinued?

—

Flint: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?

Hecate: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*

Flint: Aww, it's a love note for Keya?

Hecate: No-

Flint: *opens it*

Flint:

Hecate:

Flint: I can't read this.

—

Hecate: So, what is Keya to you?

Flint: The reason I wake up every morning.

Hecate: ...That’s adorable.

Keya earlier that morning, barging into Flint′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

—

Flint: We have a problem.

Keya: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

—

Hecate: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Keya: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

—

Hecate: Hi.

Flint: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell her?

Hecate: I did.

Flint: And what did she say?

Hecate: “Thank you.”

Flint: You’re totally welcome. What’d they say?

Hecate: She said, “Thank you.” I said “I love you” and Keya said, “Thank you.”

[bitterbluenephalem]

i seriously love your art so fucking much dude. youve genuinely been a really big inspiration to me, especially lately (ive had a bad Few Years, but things. keep. getting. worse. so at this point i dont even know what time frame to give) when ive really needed it

im sorry if this comes off weird or overly familiar, i just wanted to express from one artist to another that i really love your art. especially the lil poems you do in the alt text. i hadnt realised it before because i never click on the alt text thing, but now im just going through them and god they make my brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ahhhhh I saw this like the day u sent it and was so flattered i didnt know how to respond and then forgot to

Thank you!! And dont worry about it, ur so real. I like when people are real. It's not weird, i appreciate being told, otherwise i wouldn't have known!

That means so much from another artist bc u get it.

I wish I wasnt a bastard and posted all my art in the same place but i dont lol

ritualis and n-e-p-h-a-l-e-m are my other blogs if u are interested and didnt know about them! i'm far more active on there than here. But i cant let my og blog die

And as a side, since you sent this, i added new alt text to the edits that i had mosses beforehand, so thanks for the reminder!

[blackvail22]

honestly LMAOO

he loves me... he has to

well, he wouldnt have reacted that way when i was upset that one time... and he wouldnt tell me he loved me if he didnt

right?

yeah, he loves me.... he loves me.

he wouldnt cancel our plans on a lie...

he actually was busy.... he was busy alllll three days in a row...

he had to have been

he'll make it up sometime soon

he wouldnt talk to me if he didnt love me

he wouldnt have gotten with me again if he didnt love me

he wouldnt save pictures of me if he didnt love me

he doesnt tell me im pretty very often because he just says it in his head

he's allowed to like things like that... i do too

GODDD

WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO TRUST THAT PEOPLE LOVE ME OR MEAN THE POSITIVE THINGS THEY SAY TO ME

IM TIRED OF STRUGGLING THIS BAD AND HAVING TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT THEYRE NOT LIARS

BUT HOW CAN I NOT?

MA MADE A POEM FOR ME AND WROTE ME A TWO PAGE LETTER ABT HOW MUCH SHE CARES FOR ME AND THEN TELLS EVERYONE ELSE AND ME TWO MONTHS LATER IM NOT ALL THAT IMPORTANT TO HER ANYMORE

ARE U KIDDING MEEE????

IM FULL OF SO MUCH FUCKING ANGER

IS IT ANGER OR IS IT DISAPPOINTMENT?

I TRULY CANT TELL

MY DAD IS HIDING HIS DRINKING (AGAIN) (LIKE ALWAYS) AND ITS PISSING ME OFF

STOP HIDING IT. YOU KNOW I HATE BEING NEAR PEOPLE WHEN THEY DRINK. GO HOME! GO FUCKING HOME

I JUST WISH I WAS NORMALLL I WANT TO BE A NORMAL PERSON WITH A NORMAL FAMILY

WAS THAT EVER TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

people have it worse than me, though.

who am i to complain?

do i lie to each doctor that asks me

"in the past two weeks, have you wished that you were dead or what i would like to be dead?"

yes.

i lie every time

its gotten easier... lying

not only about my mental health but the fact im dating someone...

i dont think thats a good thing lol

[raccoon0001]

November 20th, Monday 20:38

So, first of all, hello, Im Raccoon, well at least i would like to be one. Im 17 years old and i frequently write down my thoughts when i feel sad or angry in a pink notebook by my bed, for the past four maybe three years.

And lately i have been thinking of just trying to write down my thoughts everyday, about how i feel, to know what i am even feeling, and that I'm not just overwhelmed and impulsive at the moment. So i don't ruin my next week or day by obsessing over that one boy that smiled that one time at me or was funny. Because in reality he doesn't like me and i need to step down and realise that, but maybe he does and everything is not a big fat lie, but it is. At least for me, mostly. Everything, almost, everything is fine in my life, except for being kinda fat and not having a real, single boyfriend in my 17 years of living. I know that is not that much and what i am even worrying about, because i have the whole life ahead of me(i dont see myself living past 20). Well could kind of imagine it, but because of one thing and another i always thought i would not live past 18, but now i am 17 so its quite possible i will live past 18, dont really know what will happen afterwards.

Its kind of a dilemma i know to love someone u need to first love yourself and shit, but i really hate myself most of the time, i hate how i look, i hate how lazy i am, i hate stressful i am, i hate how sick i am...yada yada yada. I know there are physical things i am able to fix, but how do i know i just wont regress? Even now im imagining how this blog or whatever this is, is gonna get popular, and be turned into inspiration for poems or people, but after all this text is just my personal feelings, about myself, for myself, that dont really make sense sometimes, because my native language is not english lol and im typing in a hurry and then gonna prob put a pretty background or something and post it if i get the courage, well its a very big probability nobody is going to read this ever, bcs lets honest who reads blogs these days..

always the artist never the muse" i have been very attached to this quote(dont know who is the author) i even begun last year attending professional art school, so i will probably never be the muse even how much i want to be one. Its almost the same with taking pictures, im always taking pictures of others and there are almost never anyone taking picture of me without asking. Well i dont really like people specially taking pictures of me, because of how ugly i look, but still, i dont know. Theres this one friend who takes pictures of me, because that of other things that that person does makes me think im gay or that she likes me, because shes gay. I think im not gay. Like i would prefer a guy fucking my brains out not a girl, but i could never imagine anyone fucking me, mby i can.. hmm not rly, maybe because i have never been fucked, or my imagination is kinda weak. Well i am in art school so i thought it should be good, but lately, well after that thing in 2018 april, I think i have been in this one giant art block. Maybe i need to go to a therapist, to sort things out, not really sure.

I wish sometimes i was a boy. And i think i stink right now, fully emotionally and physically. Whats up with that.

I must have too many dreams and too little motivation.

I dont think i should have continued art, its too much, im not even good at painting, if i actually started practicing more maybe i would, but i think im still worse than most of my peers. And in this school there are mostly girls here and i know almost nobody outside the school and town bcs i didnt even live here two years ago, the ppl who have lived here their whole childhood dont even know where to turn to get a shortcut!

My goal this evening was to paint something, but somehow i started writing a blog..

I think i should have been better of dying that day in 2018. Im not good of a person and i dont really know if ill ever change. What does actually happen after death? Has anyone thought of that? I kind of think after you die its just all pitch black and then u suddenly open your eyes and there you are as your first memory u can think of at 10 years old or whatever, like 'snap' and there you are, but dont know who you were or who you will be. I kind of want to get into biology, but idk if a have the commitment for it.

Two days ago when i was a home visiting my family, after sauna, I was sitting by the table with some other cousins at my grandmas house and one of the older cousins, who was kinda drunk btw, asked me if i had a boyfriend, i thinking already of crying and just jumping down a building calmly said: "no, do i need one?". i want one.

I think my mom is homophobic, but. i also think that im not gay, but i will probably never get a bf, because ppl these days are very obsessed by how other ppl look from the outside mostly or i just dont know a lot of ppl and real life is not like the movies or manga that i read in my free time, that i should stop reading, maybe that would solve everything.

Also by wishing that i was a male, because it really seems to be bit easier to be a boy, how the world looks at you, and how theres a lot more chance of no rejection. Maybe im just living in my small minded world and have not that many ppl with different opinions on life that would make me understand that the world works differently. A lot of ppl around me also believe we are born to fulfil our one mission here on earth, i still dont see mine here, like ppl would be fine if i went and died and go on with they're life normally, because im just this one little spec of dust besides other 7 billion dust pieces, that separately are a nobody. Maybe my family would be devastated, but prob would be prepared for this kind of event about me and i think it would be much easier for my mum if i died, she worries too much about me.



Im just lonely.

A selfish bitch.

[louhearted]

i just explained my mum an assonance in the poem i have to write my paper on and she’s so fascinated by it she keeps mumbling cave and grave to herself. i love her so much.