#and i for one am glad that i understood the humor

[sonics-atelier]

Appreciation Post <33

Happy New Year fellow unhinged people, the past year has been one hell of a Rollercoaster and I'm glad I got to share it with everyone I love. I've made so many amazing friends and I'd like to tell them how appreciated, loved and cherished there are, hence this post. Wishing everyone so much happiness and success in this year and I hope your days go by filled with peace and joy, I love all of you very much 💗. ( Apologies for being late )

@shadowqueenjude - My Wife, My Love, You are charismatic, powerful, stubborn ( ily for that btw ), passionate and so damn hard working. I am the luckiest person on earth to have you as my confidant ( still dont know that i did to deserve you ). I remember last year when I randomly dmed you to vent about the fandom and you understood me so well, and how I stayed up till 4 am just to talk to you and how I had been searching all my life for someone like you and we found each other like it was always meant to be. The rest is history. We've been through sm together and never once has my love for wavered. You're just that amazing. I am yours, for now and ever. Keep being amazing 💕

@decadentpostnacho - Meri Jaan, You walked into my life and you were like the missing puzzle piece that instantly fit into my life and heart ( destiny fr ) You are the fuzzy green blanket I can wrap myself in when things get too much ( you're entire presence is calming ✨️ ). You're one of the most kindhearted and beautiful people I've ever known. We were put on this earth to find our ways back to each other ( long live the teatectives ). I love you more than words can ever express 💖

@mintedwitcher - I LOVE YOU. you are so fucking brave and amazing and I've come to cherish everything about you, I'm so grateful that cherik brought us together. Our late night conversations about our Headcanons and wips and your ability to make me sob have been the highlight of my year, ty for making things bearable and for going above and beyond for me, I will hold you dear always 💕

@achaotichuman - At the risk of repeating myself, you're a great person and an even better friend. You've been there when I've needed you most, you've been kind, understanding and unapologetically honest ( which i love ) and for being an amazing writer ( kaimond *sobs* ) and for all the amazing recs. I hold all our unhinged convos close to my heart. Thank you for being yourself 🫶

@matrixsss - YOU ARE PHENOMENAL. Becoming mutuals then friends with you was one of the best decisions I made this year. You're so talented and kind I am over the moon how our vibes match instantly ✨️. Thank you for being someone whom I could rely on and being the personification of comfort. ( we're Kakashi and might guy coded lmao ) Ilysm ( I'll always be there for you ) 🥺💗

@yaralulu - ILY, you're so sweet and fun to talk to. I AM IN LOVE with your writing. Getting to know you and becoming friends was by far one of the best things to happen in 2024. I adore your sense of humor and how you're able to be both sweet and sassy, like 🤌. tysm for dealing with my screaming about itwv ( I still need therapy btw ) and being awesome. Keep slaying ✨️

@praetorqueenreyna - MOTHER, I still remember how I screamed when I saw we were mutuals ( yes I'm an unashamed fangirl ). Thank you so much for introducing me to so many amazing fandoms like iwtv and the captive prince. You are a treasure and I love you so so so much. You're quite literally a role model. ( also tysm for holding my stupid ass back from doing things that would get me cancelled ) KEEP BEING THE ICON YOU ARE 💕

@highlordofkrypton - Awesome falls short for how awesome you are ( I'm lame Ik ). The way we instantly connected and then proceeded to bitch about a situation was the best bonding experience ever. I am in awe of how great of a writer you are. Your stories have me by the throat and what I love most about it is how you include cultures and history and motives in it, It means so much to me. You're an amazing friend ( I am so sorry for all the times I was ready to go to war and you had to keep me in check 😭 ) your intuition is always right, you're multitalented ( an artist now too !!! ). All hail agent Reacher 💗

@thegolden-tigeress - Shree, My Sweetheart, I love you to Saturn and back. Thank you for being the shoulder I could cry on and always uplifting me even I'm going through things. I don't know how I can ever thank you enough for that. You're invaluable to me. My life has been lit ( pun intended ) ever since you walked in it. Tysm for making me laugh, for loving my writing and for always having my back. I couldn't have asked for a better friend 🥺💗💗

@watcherintheweyr - SOULMATE, Oh how I love you, I was so elated that we share sm fandoms and interests. It's usually very hard for me to become friends and then have that bond stay strong but you've proven me wrong. I usually never took the initiative of caring about things happening in people's lives but for you I changed all that. You are like the elder sister I never had, you understand me so well and I love you sm ( totally didn't fall for you just because you had horses ). You're an amazing writer too, I'm OBSESSED with your wordlbuilding and ocs 🛐. I vow to be your hua cheng for eternity. Shine like the star you are Vira, ily forever 💗

[kark-trooper-echo]

Heya!

I just wanted to say hi, and say thanks. I once bothered you a while ago as a shy Anon, for some humor and something to smile about because I was in a pretty hard place.

I’m the gal who was looking at possible bio-cybernetic prosthetics going in my skull for fixing my glitchy nerves and balance system, and you’d asked me to keep in touch, so here i am.

I feel bad in hindsight for dropping such a heavy thing on you out of the blue, and I just wanted you to know I’ve always been very grateful you took the time to humor me. It really did make my life at that time, that bit more bearable. I’ve learned to enjoy the little things, that really don’t feel so little really.

I still struggle, my symptoms aren’t ever going to go away, but I’ve made a lot of life changes for the better. Keep being you and being yourself, you’re awesome.

(To both Echo, and his lovely writer. Thank you. ❤️)

Sharing something like this, even as an anon, can't have been easy. Don't worry. I wasn't bothered. Believe it or not, this isn't even the heaviest topic I've seen here. But it was one of the most relatable. I've been hoping you were doing well.

The daily struggles can certainly grind your gears. (You asked for cyborg humor!) But you've learned the trick of dealing with them. Those little things make all the difference.

Your art has lifted my mood a few times. I'm glad I was able to return the favor. Now that I know who you are, you're not getting away with 16-month bouts of radio silence. I'm expecting you to report in more often. Understood?

[spaceorphan18]

You said you saw Deadpool & Wolverine - how did you like it?

Oohh, thanks Nonny! I had been planning on writing my thoughts! :)

I liked it!

I thought it was a very apt bridge between the old Fox films and Deadpool coming into the MCU.

I'm not a huge fan of uber violent things but something I appreciate about the Deadpool films (and Ryan Reynolds' brand of 12yo humor) is that behind it all is a lot of heart. And this film retained that, through all the crudeness, the point is that ultimately, Deadpool/Wade is a really good guy. And I can respect that.

Getting into specifics... which are very spoiler-y

I thought the plot itself was very thin, and this whole thing probably works better as a bunch of sketches, but it's fine. I was never asking for a lot from this film, and it did the only thing I was really asking of it, which was provide entertainment and get Deadpool into the MCU.

I appreciate that they really didn't shit on Logan's legacy while bringing Hugh Jackman back. Jackman seemed to be having a good time of it, which I'm glad to see.

Btw, loved all the musical jokes we got in this! Loved it.

I LOVED the montage of various Wolverines -- I understood most of the references! Yay me for reading X-Men comics for so long!!

The Henry Cavill cameo? Perfect.

I'm not surprised we didn't see a lot of Wade's family and friends, but it is sad they got such a small amount of screen time.

Ooff, Vanessa continues to be the one really weak piece of this whole thing. Does the actress not want to be there? Does she have limited time? Why is her character always being reduced to love interest whom Wade does everything for but there's no development of her character? Idk.

The TVA stuff is fine. I feel like it's so convoluted now that it doesn't really matter that it ultimately doesn't make much sense. I do think the MCU needs to start moving away from the multiverse stuff. It's just getting too mucky and it's lost focus.

Oh, why is Thor holding Deadpool, I'm sure it was just a gag, but oh god would it be hilarious if they brought it back at some point.

The Happy stuff. It's always great to see him, but how did Deadpool end up in the main universe? Why am I even questioning this?

Cracked me up that they hid Peter's face in that picture. Can't give Sony any more money than necessary.

Oh, in general, I love LOVED all the fourth wall breaks. This is why I watch Deadpool movies.

Cassandra Nova was fine as a villain. The actress was great! She just feels... a little too seriously evil to be in this comedy movie. Idk.

All the returning c-list villains were fun!

Having Chris Evans return as Johnny Strom was a brilliant move and I loved it. Having him just be the opposite of Steve Rogers on top of it was hilarious. Perfect use of a cameo, film.

Wesley Snipes returning as Blade. Goddamn. I'm kinda surprised he agreed to do it!

Great to see Jennifer Garner return as Elektra. I'm kinda glad I made myself watch all those marvel movies (which I still need to finish...) I appreciate this cameo more (and the dig at Daredevil).

Yay Laura returning! Could have always used more of her, but she did what she needed to.

Okay. Okay, let's talk about it. Let's talk about Channing Tatum as Gambit...

The Pros : The accent was fun, the way they used his powers was fantastic and original, they didn't make him the butt of jokes or treat him like a joke, there was a general respect for the character overall and I really, really, appreciate that being a Gambit fan

The Cons : Look, I have nothing against Tatum personally. He just doesn't look right. He's too think in body shape (not meant in a derogatory way), and his face just doesn't work in the headsock. Not to mention the costume looked plastic and cheap.

I really hope Gambit is back, but can we have Tatum as Gambit here like we had JKras as Mr. Fantastic in Dr. Strange? Just a one time fun gag? Please??

Remy is having a really good year despite dying everywhere.

The Deadpool squad (or whatever) I'm afraid I haven't read enough Deadpool to really get it, but it was fun. The side scrolling action sequence reminded me of a video game. And honestly, Wolverine with his cowl on, just kind of loosely moving reminded me of a video game as well.

I'm super curious to see how Deadpool plays within the MCU now. Let's go for it.

The credits were a nice touch. I'm glad they could honor those films for what they did, and I'm glad we can now move on from them.

Tl:dr it was fun and I liked it! :)

[justmystyles]

Hey, you are literally one of my favorite writers out here. I honestly love every piece you've written, it's just all really really really good. (guess I am not as good with words as you, oops)

Anyway, I am so glad your requests are open. I was wondering if you could write something where the reader comes from a difficult family. emotionally abusive mother, distant father, eldest daughter syndrome, all that jazz.

So she's sort of moved away but still keeps in touch with her family cuz she does sorta love them but it's hard. So it's like she's got some body image issues and she's closed off, pretty funny but likes to use humor to hide her feelings, has a lot of acquaintances but doesn't like sharing herself with people much (why do I feel like I am describing someone specific lol)

And one day it all just becomes too much ig. I don't know exactly how the story goes, guess I am just looking for some comfort. had a weird few days.

Honestly, love you work. You're great. Thank you for reading that bs. Doesn't matter much if you decide to write it or not. You're already perfect. <3

Let's talk about this ask I got a few weeks ago, shall we?

First of all, I am honored to be considered one of your favorite writers on here, your words are so sweet and I love you.

Now, getting down to business, this ask genuinely made me cry because I know this reader. I am this reader and it was truly terrifying that a stranger on the internet described me so well to me. As soon as I read this, I knew it was going to be my next series, and after weeks of taking down notes and ideas, I finally started actually writing it today.

It'll still be a bit before I start putting it out there, this premise means so much to me that I want to really take my time and do it the justice it deserves, but I have included a little teaser for you below the read more so that you can get a taste of what I'm working on. I've also tagged my tag list peeps so that you all can see what I've been up to.

I'll still be working on NYIML and the other asks I have (if you sent me one, I love you and I'm working on it, please be patient, life has kind of blown up over the last week or so).

You would watch on in awe, watching the music come to life, watching Harry work. From time to time, you would meet his gaze, noticing a softness in his eyes that warmed your insides. You brushed your feelings off, reminding yourself that Harry was just a kind person. He probably looked at everyone like that. He would often invite you to join the group for lunch, or drinks after a successful session. You always declined politely, certain he was just asking to be polite. 

But Harry wasn’t just asking to be polite, and those looks that he threw in your direction were different than the way he would look at anyone else. He was fascinated by you, he felt like he needed to know more. When he met you, he thought you were beautiful, and the refreshments that you had laid out showed how kind and thoughtful you were. But he knew there was more to you, and he couldn’t wait to find out all of it.

You truly were the studio mom, always making sure everyone had what they needed. You would bring coffee and breakfast in the morning, make everyone’s lunch orders, or reservations if they decided to go out. But you would never join them. He found that curious, but also disappointing. He understood if you wanted to focus on work while you were all locked away in the studio, hoping to take those lunches and extra curricular times to get to know you, but those moments never came. 

He had asked your coworkers about you, hoping to gain some kind of intel that could help him break the ice. Everyone told him how sweet you were, always asking about them and their goings on, but often changing the subject when the conversation would turn to you. He also learned about how funny you were. He would have never guessed, based on how quiet you’d been around him. He figured some of that was because of his celebrity status, he was used to people being shy around him, but they would typically warm up over time. You hadn’t. 

There was a bit of worry in his mind that maybe you had an issue with him. You weren’t cold with him, you had always been incredibly kind in your interactions with him and that threw him for a loop. He racked his brain, trying to think of anything he might have said or done to upset you, but nothing came to mind. Perhaps you just weren’t a fan of his? Whatever it was, he was determined to figure it out. 

One afternoon, he was coming back from lunch and he overheard you talking to someone in one of the studios. He lingered by the doorway, he knew eavesdropping was wrong, but he was desperate. 

The conversation wasn’t much, you were just talking about a television show, but he heard the excitement in your voice and couldn’t help but smile. You sounded so cute. And then you laughed, and he could have died right there on the spot. You had an incredible laugh. He wanted to do anything to be the reason that beautiful sound came out of your mouth. 

Harry was so distracted that he didn’t notice that you were coming out of the studio. You weren’t expecting anyone to be standing there, so you bumped right into him. 

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Harry.” Your eyes were wide with panic.

He put his hands on your shoulders to steady you. “Don’t be. That was on me. It’s what I get for zoning off in front of doors.” He chuckled. 

You smiled politely and nodded at him. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?” 

“I was actually hoping to talk–”

He was interrupted by the ring of your phone. You pulled it out of your pocket and saw your mother’s name flash across the screen. “Crap, I’m so sorry it’s my mom. Do you mind if I take this?”

“No, not at all. You should always take calls from your mum.” 

“Right,” you scoff. “You’ve never talked to my mother.” You answer the phone, walking away quickly. 

He noticed your posture stiffen when you answered, and he hoped everything was okay. Once you were out of sight, he left, returning to the studio. “Y/N is taking a phone call, she’ll be right back.” 

When you finally returned, you apologized with a smile on your face, but Harry could see the sadness in your eyes. You took a seat at the computer, and he came up behind you, placing his hand softly on your back. You subconsciously relaxed into his touch. 

“Is everything alright?” He asked. 

You put on your best fake smile, which he immediately saw though. “Yeah, thanks.” 

He wanted to press, but he knew it wasn’t the right time or place. He also wasn’t totally sure you even liked him.

@allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @likeapplejuicenpeach @lilfreakjez @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

[say-hwaet]

HIGH SIERRA: a RED DEAD REDEMPTION STORY

Chapter Five: A Leap of Faith

Hosea Matthews leans back in his favorite porch chair and elevates his feet on the railing. He turns a page in one of his favorite books, A Farewell to Arms, by Earnest Hemingway. He can hear the radio playing some old tunes from within the house, Bessie has always liked to keep the windows open, rather than use the AC. He doesn’t mind.

As he turns another page, he can hear a car coming up their long driveway. Lowering his feet and correcting his posture, he looks out into the clearing beyond the trees. Waiting for a moment, he soon sees the familiar blue SUV.

"Bessie?" he calls.

He hears footsteps and the screen door opens. "What is it, dear?"

"You might want to plan on making extra for dinner."

She looks out and sees her son's car and beams. "That shouldn't be a problem!" She waves excitedly at the car and walks down the steps of the porch to meet it, disregarding the fact that she has no shoes on. Hosea chuckles, shaking his head.

The car comes to a stop. Before Arthur can turn off the engine, Isaac bolts out of the car and runs into the arms of his grandmother. She holds him tightly and gives him multiple kisses on his fuzzy head.

"Hiya, Grammie!"

"Hello, baby! How is my favorite grandson?"

He looks up at her, his cheeks ruddy and pinchable. "Grammie, I am your only grandson!"

She feigns surprise, tapping her head with her fingers. "Oh, that's right! But can you still be my favorite?"

"Sure, Grammie,” the boy chuckles, a warmth in his voice that humors her.

She lets him out of her embrace and exaggerates a dramatic sigh. "Oh, thank you! I'm so relieved!"

Isaac giggles again and hugs himself bashfully. Arthur, after watching the exchange, comes out of the car and lets Copper out of the back. Once released, Copper runs up to Isaac and Bessie, does circles around them, then goes off to sniff for squirrels and other wildlife beyond the borders of the fence line.

"Hello, Mom," Arthur greets her as he leans over and kisses her on the cheek.

She pats his chest lovingly, the wrinkles around her eyes more prominent when she grins from ear to ear. "Hello, son. We didn't think you'd be coming over today!"

Arthur shrugs, his face grimacing apologetically. "I'm sorry, should I have called ahead?"

"No. It's no trouble." She claps a hand on Isaac's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. "We're so glad to have you here!"

Arthur looks up to see Hosea on the porch with a book in hand. "Hey, Dad."

Hosea waves. "Hey, son. How was work today?"

Arthur begins to walk the rest of the driveway and up the stairs to meet his father on the porch. Bessie and Isaac soon follow. He thinks about the events that transpired earlier today, and feels the weight of them again after just trying to forget them, even for a little while. "It was...something."

Hosea leans forward, his eyes peeking over the railing and brows raised. "Oh?"

Arthur tenses a little, and they lock eyes as he scratches the back of his head. "Yeah, I can't really talk about it."

"Understood." Hosea rises to his feet. "Why don't we all go inside? Bessie was about to get dinner started."

"Sounds good, Dad."

Hosea leads the small group inside. The air smells like fresh gardenias and honeysuckle. To Arthur, it smells like home.

"You boys want something to drink?" Bessie asks and she passes by them in the direction of the kitchen. Hosea sits down in his favorite leather chair. Arthur sits down on the couch adjacent to Hosea and Isaac immediately finds a place next to him.

The house has hardly changed since he was a boy. Sure there are a few things here and there, but Bessie has maintained the aesthetic faithfully. It is more cottage-like, as though one were stepping into a Victorian home at the turn of the century, with a few modern commodities.

It had been good for Arthur to be raised here. In the quiet, away from the city. He could step outside and go horseback riding, or sit under the pine trees and draw to his heart’s content. He didn’t require much, just the love that he was never given by his father, and not long enough from his mother.

Arthur looks up at Bessie and nods his head softly. "Water is fine, Mom. For me and the boy."

"Do you have lemonade, Grammie?" Isaac asks hopefully.

Arthur gently taps his son’s arm, shaking his head. "No, Isaac. You can't have that right now..."

It hurts Arthur to see the disappointment on his face. If any other child were to make such a request, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but he isn’t. "Why?"

"You can't have sugar for a while,” he answers plainly.

Isaac is now used to being told what he can and can’t do. It has been this way for the past two years. It has also been hard for him, and both Eliza and Arthur wish that it wasn't.

Isaac doesn't say anything, but leans into Arthur and lays on his arm.

"I didn't know he couldn't have sugar," Bessie responds apologetically.

Arthur looks up at his concerned mother and tries to be subtle. "It's new. He is being placed on a new treatment."

Bessie gasps softly. "Oh my."

"I'll talk to you about it later, Mom."

Bessie nods, leaving for the kitchen.

"So what can he have? We were planning on burgers for dinner," Hosea inquires.

Sparing the details, Arthur lists the forbidden items. "No pork, red meat, or sugar. Limited starches and dairy."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much. It clashes with his new medicine."

Hosea’s brow pinches as he leans back in his chair. "I thought that was grapefruit."

"That does happen, yes. But not with his."

Hosea nods, processing this new information. "Okay. We should have some ground turkey. We can make turkey burgers."

Arthur is grateful that they are quick to accommodate his son. Even if he didn’t have a rare form of cancer, they’d still bend over backwards for him. "Sounds good."

Hosea rises slowly out of his chair. "Let me go and tell Bessie.” Then he chuckles. “She's got her radio volume turned on too high." After stretching for a brief moment, he leaves the room.

Arthur looks over to his left arm and sees the saddened Isaac. "You okay, buddy?"

Isaac only nods his head, which isn't very convincing.

Arthur wraps an arm around his son, and pulls him close, giving him a little shake. "C'mon, let's say we go to the stables? I haven't seen Boadicea in a while." Arthur begins to get off the couch slowly and Isaac moves out of the way.

Isaac sighs, "Okay."

Arthur, now on his feet, extends his hand to Isaac, who takes it. Arthur helps pull Isaac to his feet and they both start to walk to the front door.

Arthur calls out into the kitchen from behind him. "Dad, we're gonna go see the horses!"

He doesn’t wait for an answer, and reaching the door first, he lets his son out. Following close behind, they head across the porch and walk down the steps. Upon hearing the noise they're making, Copper comes out of some bushes and catches up with them.

Arthur bends down to pat the dog as he runs on by. "Hey, boy! Let's go!"

The stables aren't too far off, as they can be easily seen from the front porch. Hosea and Bessie own 40 acres of fields and woods, a majority of it being for the horses they raise and riding classes they teach seasonally. They will be starting again soon, as children often take riding classes in the summer.

Horseback riding was a favorite pastime of Isaac's as it not only allowed him time with his family, but he felt free. Since being sick, he has rarely got to do those sorts of things, as his treatments take priority.

But when Eliza mentioned the treatment, it is possible that it could allow some leniency for more "dangerous" activities.

On the way to the stables, Isaac has remained silent, with his eyes cast downward.

And, of course, Arthur is concerned. "What's wrong, bud?"

Isaac shrugs? The grass shuffling under each of his steps. "Just tired."

"You weren't so tired just a minute ago. What's going on?"

"It's nothing."

Arthur lowers his voice, trying his best to conceal his smile. "You ain’t a good liar, son."

Suddenly, Isaac stood and whips around, his eyes intensely glaring. "I am not lying!"

Isaac's tone surprises Arthur and so he stops walking and kneels in front of his son. Upon further inspection, he sees Isaac begin to cry. "Hey, now," he brings his son into his arms and hugs him. "It's okay. It's okay." He lets him cry for a minute before releasing the boy from his embrace and holds him out in front of him. "What is it, son?"

Isaac sniffs, wiping tears with the heel of his palm. "Will I ever get better, Daddy?"

He doesn’t want to lie, but he isn’t sure of the truth. It is all in the air right now, but things are more grim than they are sunshine. "Of course, you will. It will just take time, is all. Cancer is an enemy that I can't shoot or kill. The doctors help your body to do that."

Isaac nods, his lips trembling as he speaks. "I know Mommy cries. She tries hard to hide it from me, but she cries. She tried extra hard today, so I know the cancer isn't gone."

Isaac is a very perceptive boy. Arthur wonders if he heard their conversation earlier, for that would also explain his reaction when Arthur lightly explained the treatment to Hosea. "She's just scared, is all. Cancer is a serious thing, there's no hiding that."

Isaac blinks, a solitary tear trickling down his cheek. "Adults can be scared?"

"Of course, they can. They're people, ain’t they?"

Isaac sniffs, smiling bittersweetly. "Yeah."

And Arthur mirrors the smile, taking his son by the arms. "Shoah. And that just tells you how much she loves you."

Isaac only nods, wiping his eyes.

Arthur gestures toward the stables, which are just a few yards away. "You wanna keep going?"

"Uh huh," Isaac affirms and they continue on their way.

Reaching the stables and the attached fenced-in pasture, Arthur whistles a distinct tune. Waiting a moment, he hears a whinny, and from the distance, a beautiful liver chestnut Hungarian Half Bred comes galloping up. Arthur smiles, glad that Boadicea remembers his call.

When she approaches the fence, Arthur goes in between the beams and into the pasture. He walks up to his mare and pats her neck. "Long time, girl!"

She shakes her head and her mane falls over her eyes and forelock. Taking some mane, he hoists himself on her bare back and gets a feel of being on a horse again.

"Oh, this takes me back," he sighs as he takes in the scenery. He thinks on times when they were easier, when he didn’t have to think of bills, forest fires, or SAUs. He had heard the warning from Hosea to not wish years away, and he is feeling that repercussion now.

He looks down and sees Isaac crawl under the fence and slowly approach him. Arthur holds his hand out to him. "Come here, son, I'll help you up."

Isaac hesitates. It has been a while since he has been on a horse, and his mother has continuously told him to not do dangerous things.

Arthur can see the cognitive dissonance on his son's face. "It's alright, son."

After another moment, Isaac walks over and Arthur swoops down and picks him up with one arm, setting Isaac right in front of him. He’s lighter than he used to be…or should be.

"Now, take her mane like this," he instructs as he guides Isaac's hands. Isaac grabs some of Boadicea's mane and holds tight. Arthur holds onto Isaac with his left arm. "Ready?"

Isaac nods, and Arthur gives Boadicea a gentle kick. She starts to move and Arthur helps Isaac steer her away from the fence.

They take it slow and Arthur takes in the scenery for a moment. Looking down at Isaac, he sees he too is observing their surroundings.

"It's a beautiful country, ain't it?"

"Uh-huh."

Arthur points toward a trail in between the trees. "Remember the trails we used to ride up here? Your mama even came out here sometimes, remember?"

Isaac replies with the same, "Uh-huh."

"What was that horse's name, the one you used to ride?"

"Titan."

Arthur clicks his tongue. "Titan, that's right. He was a brute, wasn't he? But always gentle with you. I bet Grandpa still has him. Maybe we can go on a real ride and you can take him later?"

"Maybe."

Arthur holds Isaac tighter and urges Boadicea to trot. She snorts excitedly. Isaac sits up more, expectantly. "You good?"

"Yeah." Arthur can detect the hint of joy in his voice, and he smiles. They continue this speed for a moment. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Can we go faster?"

There is the Isaac Arthur knows. He kicks again and Boadicea canters. He doesn't want to go any faster than this, but at least it is thrilling enough for a sick boy.

Isaac giggles excitedly, the trees becoming more of a blur as they go by the air feels cooler against his skin, and goosebumps rise on his arms. This is the most thrilling thing he’s experienced in months, years, even.

They come to the edge of the pasture and see the fence in the distance.

Isaac’s eyes widen with excitement. "Let's jump, Daddy!"

Arthur holds tightly onto his son, his brows lifting. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Daddy, I wanna jump!"

Arthur kicks, and Boadicea gains speed. The energy builds between them and Isaac squeals with delight as the space closes between them and the fence. "Here we go!" Arthur cheers.

Boadicea lifts her forelimbs and gracefully jumps over the fence and they make a sturdy landing on the other side. Isaac jolts forward, which scares him. He gasps.

Arthur feels instant regret. Maybe he should have refused Isaac’s request. "You okay?"

But Isaac nods, his voice bubbling with delight. "Yeah. It scared me. I thought I was gonna fall off!"

Arthur pats his son’s torso. "I got you, buddy. I won't let you fall."

"Okay, Daddy."

Arthur slows Boadicea down, and she walks. They continue to ride for a little while, Arthur occasionally pointing out wildlife that Isaac can identify.

An hour passes, and Arthur hears an echo in the distance.

It sounds like a loud chime. Then he remembers.

It's his mother's dinner bell. "It's dinnertime," Arthur says.

"How can you tell?" Isaac asks, looking into the distance where the sound comes from.

"You hear that, right?"

Isaac nods, his head turned in the direction of the sound. "Yeah."

"That's your grandma. She's ringing a dinner bell."

"Why?"

"We're far way, we can't hear her otherwise."

"Oh. I am kinda hungry."

Arthur chuckles. "So am I. Let's put Boadicea in the stables and head back, okay?"

"Okay."

Arthur turns Boadicea around and with a clicking sound from his mouth, Boadicea trots in the direction of the stables.

***

At the back patio, Arthur sits with his family at the table. He has missed his mother's cooking and is surprised at how delicious the turkey burgers are. He licks his fingers as he finishes a second one.

Bessie chuckles as she passes potato salad over to her husband. "Arthur, don't eat the flowers, there's plenty more if you want them."

Arthur holds up a palm. "Oh, no, Mom. I should probably stop at two. They were delicious."

"I'm glad you liked them," she smiles as she begins to take the glass pitcher. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to get some more water." She begins to head back inside.

"So," Hosea begins, leaning back into his chair. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

Arthur blinks and lifts his brow. "Plans?"

"Well, sure! Horseback riding? Fishing? Dig holes, what?"

Isaac giggles, mouth full of fresh-cut fries.

Arthur looks over at him and pokes his shoulder. "Isaac, chew with your mouth closed."

"That's what Mommy says all the time." Isaac takes another fry and dips it in mustard.

Arthur shakes his head and turns to Hosea. "I thought we'd just see how things go. Do you still have Titan?"

Hosea tilts his head. "The quarter horse? Sure, we do! He's getting on in years, but he makes a great trail rider. Did you want to take him out?"

Arthur nods as he hands his son another napkin. "Yeah, for Isaac. I did think we could go on a day ride tomorrow. You want to join us?"

"I might be able to. We'll have to see what your mother has in store. She's always got some project she needs help with."

"I know,” Arthur chuckles, thinking on all the other times she had set herself on a long-term project. She has always had the need to keep busy, as if being a veterinarian, and horse riding instructor wasn’t enough. “What's it this time?"

Hosea leans forward, resting his elbows on the table as he tries to suppress his laughter. He wants to build up Arthur’s curiosity before sharing all of it. "Have you heard of those she-sheds?"

Arthur snorts, "Yes. She's wanting one of those?"

"Yes. We got all the materials yesterday. She is intent on building it herself, but I know that she will be asking me for help soon enough."

Arthur nods, patting his leg in humor. "Shoah."

Suddenly, Bessie comes back out without the pitcher, but with a cellphone. "Hosea, phone call for you."

"Who?"

"It's John."

Hosea’s eyes light up. "Oh! Bring it here."

"Uncle John!" Isaac cheers.

Bessie comes over and hands Hosea the phone. She heads back in to retrieve the pitcher she left behind.

Bringing the phone to his ear, Hosea greets his caller. "Hey, John! How are you doing?...I'm fine. I've got my boys here with me, and we've just finished dinner...Yes, it's Arthur and Isaac...Perfect? Why?...Oh!...Well, that's great!...A cookout? Sure!...Yeah, I'll tell them, It'll be great...Oh, sure, tell Abigail and Jack that we say 'hi!'...Bye now!"

And he hangs up.

And Arthur’s curiosity is piqued. "So, what did golden boy John have to say?"

"John and his band are going to be going on their first tour, and are having a cookout to say goodbye."

Arthur lifts his brow. He had figured things would take a while before John and his band ever gained popularity. "That quick, huh?"

Hosea shrugs. "Well, it was only a few weeks ago that The Outlaws signed their contract with that record label, whatever its name was."

Arthur remembers, nodding his head. "The music executive's name was Trelawny."

"That's right. He was in showbusiness, before switching, right?"

Arthur shrugs. "Something like that."

Hosea waves it off, it isn’t that important to the conversation right now. "Anyway, the cookout is this Sunday. It will be a small gathering."

"How is Abigail taking all this?"

"As well as can be expected. She's always been worried about John."

True. Ever since high school, Abigail has always done her best to keep the rebellious John in line, but that doesn’t mean that she never had a rebellious streak, either. "Well, she's supported his dream all these years. Balancing her nursing career, raising a son, and a husband, can be challenging at times,” Arthur laughs.

"Don't be so hard on John. He's like a brother to you."

Arthur lifts up his hands, surrendering the jokes for now. "Yeah, I know."

After a moment, Hosea points at Arthur, a gleam in his eye. "You know, that could be you."

Arthur snorts, "I don't think I want to be in a band. I like playing guitar, but–"

"No, not that, married."

Arthur pauses for a moment. Then he covers part of his face with his hand as he leans into it. "You're worse than Mama."

"I mean it, Arthur. That could be a good thing for you. You've gotten more grumpy in your old age."

Arthur removes his hand, leaning back in his chair. "Me? Old? I'm thirty-six, and still younger than you."

"And I'm wiser, so listen to your old man, would you?"

Arthur looks at Isaac and sees the discomfort on his face. Hell, he should have been more attentive instead of being absorbed in his own thoughts. "Isaac, why don't you go see what your grandma is up to?"

"Okay!" He quickly gets up, eager to get away from the conversation.

After a moment or two, Hosea starts the conversation back up again. "So, what's the deal with his treatment?"

Arthur sighs. It is as good a time as any. "Doctors say his cancer is back."

Hosea nearly loses the color in his face. He and Bessie have been hoping that the treatments would be over after his surgery, the boy can only take so much. "Dear God, no."

Arthur tucks his chin, sighing. "Yeah, Eliza has taken it hard. We only have this new treatment to try. He was in a program at the hospital where he had school stuff to do. Eliza has taken a lot upon herself and won't ask for help."

"Why don't we help?"

"I was going to ask you and Mom, actually. He needs a place to be when he isn't in the hospital. Eliza has been working."

Hosea holds up a hand. "Say no more. What days does he need to come here?"

"Well, there is the matter of his treatment–"

"We can handle it. Just show us what to do.”

This makes things a lot easier. He should never have doubted his parents and their willingness to help. "Okay, I have a booklet that has detailed instructions."

"Fine." Hosea rises to his feet, groaning as his knees give a soft pop. "Now, let's see what Bessie is up to, hmm?"

Hosea leads the way back inside and they find Bessie and Isaac playing in the living room together, all distracted and happy, as it should be.

Thank you for reading! 🤠

Tag Requests:

@photo1030 @moeitsu

[veny-many]

Here's one of my headcanon: Comet was surprisingly survivor of original Wolfpack.

For some reason, Comet got transferred from 104th when Malevolence incident happened. When he came back, the whole battalion, his brothers were gone, and only survivors are his Wolfpack-Wolffe, Sinker, Boost.

Comet deeply mourned for his brothers, and felt so bad that he was not there. He knew he couldn't do much at that situation, but at least he would not feel this helplessness. But he was glad that three brothers still alive.

But they were not the same. At least to Comet.

They were hurt, and devastated, and became hysterical. They don't laugh with humor like before. They won't talk about they were fighting for rights anymore. And Comet understood that it was because of their experience was so traumatic. And Comet often felt thrown out because he couldn't feel like them, he was not there.

One day, Wolffe decided that they will change the color of armors. And finally Comet exploded. He couldn't accept that. Color was only thing that linked Comet and fallen brothers. Their Color, their maroon, their faith. Their history that no other battalion would compared. Their own.

Comet felt like he was alone. That he was like lost brothers, who were still floating in cold space with no air. That he still clinging in dead body, sinking in soil with them. And the other pack just march away from them. Like survivors.

That night, Wolffe came into Comet's barrack. And he talked. That he is still mourning. He couldn't get through like other commanders do. That their loss was so much for him to bear. But he would still march, for fallen brothers will, and for what they were fighting for. He wanted to march not just as evidence of their survival, because it is true that original 104th battalion, was gone. But he wanted to be proof that they were still remembered, and they deserved it. Wolffe wanted to mourn them as color. And respect colors of brother's long marched away.

He apologized that they didn't take care about Comet's feelings, and lonely thoughts that were slowly made him desperate and alone. And told that they were afraid that if they get to close to Comet, they would affect him in negative way. He didn't deserved it because to them, Comet was the true survival, not broken like them, never gets in nightmares, still freely talkes about brothers, make jokes and laughs like nothing happened. And now, Wolffe knew that all Comet's behavior toward them was desperate attempt to gather his old Pack back to him. And Wolffe felt terribly bad about that.

After long conversation and so much tears, and somehow Sinker and Boost joined in their barrack, Comet finally accepted they could change the color. He understood that they were not just moving away or forgetting their brothers, and they will remember and mourn forever. In the color of gray, the symbol of mourning of lost dear families, Comet could remind that they still care for them. And they are marching for them.

+) silly bonus

Comet: You know what Kark you!! You will never understand how I felt around you!

Wolffe: Fine, if you're like that, so be it! It's not like you were there with us! And you are saying that you understand us or what!?

Comet: Well than, I should have been there so at least all of you would mourn for me too, not just looking at me like seeing ghosts!!(Gets out of room)

Wolffe:

Sinker:

Boost: OH MY FORCE HE DIDN'T MEAN IT DID HE

Sinker: I think he did mean it. At least in his feeling.

Wolffe: I'm fucked. I fucked it again, just like before. What a terrible commander I am? I was supposed to protect all of you and I keep failing all over and over again. Maybe that Kaminoans were right. I am so damaged right now, I need to get away from-

Sinker:(sighs) Not again.

Boost: Well, off to comm again.(taps comm) General, I'm sorry but are you busy right now?

Plo in comm: Ah, not at all. What is it again?

[flung-out-of-asgard]

Ok but why did you like madam web? I have no opnion on the movie and I'm not planning to see it but I do want to see why the few people that enjoyed it did

There’s many reasons. For starters it is extremely campy, and I love that. I kinda miss superhero movies that go the extra mile to be different, that they even become a little bit cheesy. I guess that’s why I also liked Multiverse of Madness, it was refreshing to have a different story AND visual storytelling, which takes me to my second point.

I’ve heard a lot of people complain about how superhero movies became kind of static, no camera movements, no different shots or angles to push the story forward. I am a professional story board artist, so I appreciate a lot when a movie isnt just telling you what’s going on just through dialogue, but composition and camera work. Yes, it’s a little sloppy in madame web, but I’m so glad it just isnt green screen 24/7 and its the editing and the cinematography what «shows you» Cassie’s abilities. That’s super creative!

Then I loved Cassie as a character, I related a lot to her. The snarky comments, the acid humor, the not knowing how to «properly» interact with other people. That felt so real! She felt like a real person, like someone I can be. I also enjoyed her connection to the girls, them all had great chemistry even if the script made their scenes trip a little, but the way them all shared things in common and became a family, I liked that, I’m a sucker for the found family trope. And also Cassie’s relationship with her mom, I understood that, and that hit me deeply.

Then as for the superhero part. I love that Cassie’s power isnt questioned or dismissed because she’s a woman. I’m VERY tired of movies having these hollow speeches of: ‘Oh, but I am a woman and that makes me strong’ or ‘we’ll take you down with female power’, or having male characters underestimating them for being women and then ‘learning their lesson’. This story never goes there and I appreciate it a lot.

I have many other reasons, but I’ll end just by saying that I’m a huge greek mythology nerd. And I enjoyed a lot Cassie’s story connecting with Cassandra, the seer whose visions weren’t believed. And also Oedipus as Ezekiel trying to avoid his fate.

Is it the best movie? Definitely not, but it’s not as bad as people have said. I believe that every movie has something good to highlight and enjoy and I enjoyed this one a lot! Also. Britney Spears and The Cranberries in the same soundtrack, that sounds fucking awesome.

[promptling]

STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK ( 1984 ) change pronouns as needed.

we're almost home.

death is like an open wound.

it seems i've left the noblest part of myself back there.

that's very odd.

your timing is excellent.

how else can i keep my reputation as a miracle worker?

your reputation is secured.

a hero's welcome? is that what you'd like?

what the hell's going on?

when do i get paid off?

you will be remembered with honor.

if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagon.

_________, help me.

you left me. why did you do that?

what the hell are you doing?

have you lost your mind?

this is where the fun begins!

the logical alternative is obvious.

i'll take the risk.

no one has time for those who stand and wait.

i will speak with you alone.

spare me your human platitudes.

i saw no future.

i'd have given my life if it would have saved his.

forgive me.

it is not here.

what you ask is difficult.

we're picking up radiation.

our readings are well below danger level.

you're my best officer.

i don't break rules!

don't quote rules to me.

i'm talking about loyalty and sacrifice.

i never understood vulcan mysticism.

i'll hire a ship.

keep up this emotional behavior and you'll lose everything.

you'll destroy yourself!

thanks for the drink.

the word is no. i am therefore going anyway.

you can count on my help.

anybody been looking for me?

you have me at a disadvantage.

could i offer you a ride home?

how many fingers do i have up?

that's not very damn funny.

your sense of humor's returned.

it's revenge for all the arguments you lost.

this will make you well enough to travel.

i need some challenge in my life, some adventure. maybe even just a surprise or two.

be careful what you wish for. you may get it.

it's damn irregular.

i'm glad you're on our side.

i can't ask you to go any further.

the more they over-think the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.

let's do it by the book.

it's time for total truth between us.

how many have paid the price for your impatience?

how many have died?

how much damage have you done?

i'd swear something was there.

i have no knowledge.

i hope pain is something you enjoy.

i ordered no interruptions.

i trust my instincts.

i'm sorry i'm late.

i should have known you would come.

i went wrong.

i swear to you, we're not finished yet.

we have a job to do.

no tricks, ______.

if we don't help each other, we'll die here.

i do not deserve to live.

fine, i'll kill you later.

it seems i've missed you.

i don't think i could stand to lose you again.

what you seek has not been done since ages past, and then, only in legend.

your request is not logical.

my logic is uncertain where my son is concerned.

you must make the choice.

i choose the danger.

hell of a time to ask.

what i have done, i had to do.

if i hadn't tried, the cost would have been my soul.

[thenovelartist]

Life After Destruction - Chapter 6 - Honkai: Star Rail

<Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter>

“You were supposed to die.”

At the all-too-familiar sultry voice, Stelle looked up from where she was sitting to see Kafka. “What a way to greet someone,” she snipped.

“I thought I’d cut to the chase.” Uninvited, Kafka stepped closer and took a seat on the bench beside Stelle.

Stelle narrowed her eyes at Kafka. Even after all this time, she never could fully figure this woman out. The only thing she knew for certain was Kafka never wished any harm to come to Stelle. Though Stelle supposed if there was one thing to know about a person, that certainly wasn’t the worst.

“What brings you here?” Stelle asked, glancing around the crowded plaza of the planet they were visiting. “Out in the open.”

“The place is busy enough for people to notice everyone yet no one,” Kafka answered. “I’m nothing more than a face in this crowd, just like you.”

Well, that was true. Despite Stelle's face having become quite a famous one, no one had approached her. Honestly, for the better.

“I’m surprised that vidyadhara of yours left you alone, though.”

“He’s just across the street.” Through the crowd, Stelle could spot Dan Heng standing beside March as they waited in line at a food stall. The reason for that was March’s phone had broken on the latest mission, and they were currently waiting for it to get fixed at a shop down the street. After meandering the streets for a while, March thought she’d grab snacks for everyone, but Stelle was not up for standing in line. Despite being told her belly was smaller than average for a woman six months along, Stelle was beginning to feel its effects to the point she no longer protested the occasional break. Seeing as March had no phone, Dan Heng had gone with her, leaving Stelle to rest on a bench for now.

“Still,” Kafka continued, “he doesn’t often leave you alone long enough for us to chat.”

“You could approach me when he’s here.”

“That would ruin our girl time.”

Stelle just rolled her eyes at Kafka’s evasive answer. “Anyway, what do you mean? Or am I gonna have to play ‘truth and lie’ to maybe get an answer out of you?”

Kafka chuckled. “Actually, I’ll humor you and give you straight answers today. You deserve it, considering you’re still alive.” She leaned back against the bench, crossing her legs. “In every future Elio foresaw of us winning against Nanook, there was not a one where you didn’t die from that stellaron burst. As cruel as this might sound, we accepted it. A single life is a better sacrifice than a galaxy full of them.”

Considering she was that life, Stelle was inclined to hate that sacrifice more than anyone. But on the other hand, she also understood it. She’d met so many wonderful people, both comrades in arms and civilians who just wanted to live peacefully in this galaxy. She’d come to care for them so deeply that if she could pay a price that would guarantee their future, then she would.

Once again, she caught flashes of a particular green and gold coat as well as a cotton-candy-colored dress through the crowd. Heck, she would have made that sacrifice if only for those two over there, plus the other Nameless, of course. They’d given her everything, and she gladly would have returned the favor, even at the cost of her life.

A sudden jolt to her stomach was enough of a reminder that a very tiny someone was glad she didn’t have to.

“Is that all you wanted to say?” Stelle asked, automatically covering the spot her baby kicked with her hand.

“No,” Kafka admitted. “Actually, there’s quite a bit I want to say, but you’re not the only person I want to say it to.” With that, she stood. “That is, if you dare to follow me for a bit.”

Stelle quirked a brow.

“Don’t worry. It won’t take long. You better text your husband, though. He doesn’t look too happy.”

At the mention of Dan Hang, Stelle looked through the crowd for him, only to see he was glaring in her direction. Not only that, but Stelle watched March’s expression darken the instant she caught on.

She forced herself to give them a smile and a wave before pulling out her phone.

Stelle: It’s okay. 

Stelle: I’ll be right back.

Dan Heng pulled out his phone in response, March looking over at it.

“Now that you’ve taken care of that,” Kafka said, starting to walk away. “Follow me. I promise it will be worth your while.”

As Stelle stood, her phone dinged with a message.

Dan Heng: Where are you going?

Stelle: It’s fine.

Stelle looked up to see Dan Heng and March looking at her through the crowd.

Stelle: Trust me. Just get the snacks for when I get back.

And with that, she shuffled off after Kafka.

“Clingy, aren’t they?” Kafka joked once Stelle caught up to her.

“Well, I don’t need to tell you they don’t exactly trust you,” she snipped.

The woman shrugged it off. “Probably for the better.”

As they walked through the ever-moving crowd of people, Stelle didn’t initiate conversation, even though she certainly had questions.

“Congratulations, by the way, for being the first to bear a vidyadhara.”

“Half-vidyadhara,” she corrected.

“Full-blooded, if Elio’s prediction is correct,” Kafka returned. “But either way, a miracle child for the woman still miraculously alive. It makes for a nice fairytale, doesn’t it?”

More on instinct, Stelle’s hand rested on her stomach. Was Kafka right? Was her child a full vidyadhara? It wasn’t like they knew for certain, and there was a chance they wouldn’t know until it went through a reincarnation process. But if it was, then that would be a boon for Dan Heng's people. Even if they could add a single vidyadhara to the population, that was more than anyone could ever have hoped for. Though, she supposed a vidyadhara having fathered a child in the first place was already a miracle. 

Not that any of that ultimately mattered in Stelle's eyes. This was her and Dan Heng's child, and she was excited to have them come into her family.

“Do you know if you’re having a boy or girl?” she asked.

Stelle shook her head. She was at the point where she could find out if she wanted, but when discussing it with Dan Heng, she’d commented how it would be fun for it to be a surprise seeing as everything else about the baby was. At the time, Dan Heng had frowned, probably because he’d wanted to know, yet he’d humored her and agreed to wait until the baby was born.

Kafka hummed. “Elio wouldn’t tell me his prediction, either.”

“Does he know?”

“If he does, he isn’t telling.”

Stelle resisted the urge to roll her eyes. In all her travels, she’d crossed paths with the Stellaron Hunters many times, but never Elio. He remained a mystery that Stelle had grown too leery of to want to solve.

As they wove their way through the streets to an alleyway nearby, Stelle caught sight of a tall man with silver hair. She froze a moment, almost tripping over her own feet in the process as she was struck by an overwhelming sense of familiarity.

Beside her, Kafka chuckled. “I know you lost your memories when the stellaron was implanted in you, but do you happen to recognize him?”

They stopped in front of the man who looked down at her with uncertainty wavering in his golden eyes. “Should I?” she finally asked.

“I guess not,” Kafka muttered. “You could say he’s my gift to you.” She then tapped the blue gift tied with a pink bow in the man’s arms. “And then one for the baby. Curtesy of me and Silverwolf. I’m sure Blade would have reluctantly appreciated being included, too, if he’d survived.”

Stelle blinked in surprise. Blade was dead? But… wasn’t he…

Kafka seemed to read her mind, melancholy tainting her ever-present easy smile. “One of the very few ways an immortal can find relief from their curse is to be killed by an aeon. This battle presented Blade with an opportunity he could not resist.”

“Yeah,” the man weakly confirmed. “But he didn’t go down without fighting.”

Kafka sighed. “I suppose you’re right. It wouldn’t have been like him otherwise.”

At the somber mood, Stelle felt uncomfortable, like an interloper intruding on a private moment. There was also the fact Blade had a turbulent past with Dan Heng—er… Dan Heng’s past incarnation, which only made her feelings towards that particular Stellaron Hunter all the more confusing. Should she feel glad that Blade got his wish granted, or glad that he was gone? Was it wrong to feel both ways?

“Er, um…” With a forced smile, the man soon shoved the gift box at Stelle. “Sorry, for bringing the mood down. Here!”

Hesitantly, Stelle took the gift. While she did have half a mind to thank him, the only words that came out instead were, “Who are you?”

Kafka spoke up. “If I said he was your brother, would you believe me?”

Her… brother?

Wide-eyed, Stelle looked the man over. She knew he’d felt familiar in some odd way. Was this why?

His chuckle was strained, and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “You know, I knew you wouldn’t remember, but it’s still kinda weird.”

Words were slow in coming, considering how dry her mouth was. “So… you remember?”

He nodded. “Yeah, kinda.” With an uncertain smile, he extended a hand. “I’m Caelus.”

“Stelle,” she returned, more automatically than anything, before taking his hand to shake.

“He can catch you up on the old times later,” Kafka spoke up. “That is, if he still remembers them.”

Stelle’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“I took a hit to the head in that last battle,” he answered. “The concussion was a monster. A lot of my memories are still fuzzy.”

“If you weren’t so reckless, you could have avoided it,” Kafka lightly chastised. “But then again, that’s to be expected of you.”

Caelus chuckled sheepishly.

“Getting back on topic…” Crossing her arms, Kafka looked over to Stelle. “I’m sure you want to know why I’m here, introducing you two now after all this time.”

Stelle nodded.

“I don’t care to be sentimental,” she said, “nor do I care to go out of my way unless I can see a benefit of it. But… I guess you two are an exception.”

The mood changed then, the world seeming to fade away. It clicked for Stelle that this was the first time she’d ever seen Kafka’s eyes look so clear, except the time Kafka was the Master Diviner’s captive. But considering that Kafka had been a prisoner then compared to now when she was free, Stelle was hesitant to count that as an exception at all.

“Many years ago,” Kafka started, “Elio predicted Nanook would bring about the end of the galaxy. So, he started making a plan. The first step being to produce a human that could be a vessel for a stellaron. This was a process that took a few years to complete, resulting in several babies being created. As they grew, they were constantly being tested for their ability to withstand the power of a stellaron. By the time the group reached the age of five, only two of the children remained viable vessels for the stellaron. We only needed one, but there were only benefits in having a backup, and if both of the vessels made it to adulthood, then we would choose the one that held the most promise. The other would remain a Stellaron Hunter.

“I was put in charge of your training. I gotta admit, I thought you two were going to be real hassles. And while you were in your own way, training you was… amusing. I wish more people had half the raw talent and determination you two showed. But, that shouldn’t be surprising considering whose DNA was taken to create you.

“Then came the day that one of you had to be chosen. Ultimately, both of you were good options to be the stellaron’s vessel, each having your own strengths and both of your bodies physically up to the task. But when it came down to it, there was something in Stelle that made me lean towards her as my choice. Hence Caelus stayed on as a Stellaron Hunter, running errands and whatnot behind the scenes so Stelle’s merry band of Nameless could handle other galactic problems and build alliances along the way.”

At the rush of information, Stelle was quickly growing overwhelmed. It was becoming a struggle to even continue standing when she felt so shaky on her feet. Yet, she forced herself to keep it together. Kafka was never forthcoming with information unless it benefitted her. From all their meetings, Stelle had learned to listen to what Kafka had to say and negotiate for anything more she wanted. But with Kafka dumping this out of her own free will, Stelle wanted to grasp onto every word.

“So… you raised us.” Stelle clarified.

“In a sense, I suppose I did,” Kafka answered. “In your eyes, I must not seem like the type.”

Stelle shook her head.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d be the type, either. And I wouldn’t say I was fully in charge of raising you. You both had a nanny who was actually responsible for you until you were about eight, at which point you were dropped fully into my care. I just taught you everything I felt was important to your life goal.”

“She was brutal,” Caelus whispered to Stelle. Yet, the light tone and slight smile he wore proved he didn’t mind.

Whether it was because she didn’t remember or because the part of her that somehow did remember didn’t mind, Stelle was unbothered by that fact. “So my ability to fight—”

“Came from me,” Kafka finished. “From your bat to your lance, I trained you in both.”

Absently, Stelle looked down at her hands, currently not in gloves allowing her to see the callouses that covered them. Callouses that took on a new meaning now that she knew she’d gotten them due to training with the Stellaron Hunter before her.

“Any other questions?” Kafka asked. “This is the one time I’m answering them freely.”

Clenching her fists, Stelle looked back up at Kafka. “What if I’d failed as a… vessel?” The word felt sour in her mouth. It was hard to grasp the fact she’d been artificially created to be a means to an end. As though her whole existence was, in fact, simply to hold a stellaron.

Kafka hummed. “If ever there was a future where you failed as a vessel, whether it was because you ran away or because you died, we had another stellaron lined up for Caelus.”

“What?”

Stelle glanced over at Caelus, whose jaw was practically on the ground at this point. Clearly, that was new information to him, too.

“Is it such a surprise we had a plan for you?” Kafka challenged. “You know how carefully everything was planned in your time as a Stellaron Hunter.”

Caelus didn’t seem to have an answer for that.

“Thankfully, we never had to implement that plan. It wouldn’t have been ideal anyway as the purpose of putting Stelle on the Astral Express was to help build an army that would rally behind her.”

So even that was planned, putting Stelle on the Express where she’d made a home for herself. Where she'd found a family and even a husband. 

But... then what was to become of them if she'd... “What of the Express members?" Stelle questioned, a defensive anger giving a bite to her words. "Did you mean to put them at the heart of the war?”

“Don’t get upset with me. They would have found their way into the war regardless. You just happened to be so charming that they rallied behind you. In that sense, you were an overwhelming success as an intended vessel.”

Stelle didn’t even know how to feel about that. Yes, she found a home on the Express, and she was thankful for it, but she could have led them all to their death, just because someone else had been controlling the strings.

Any freedom she’d ever thought she’d had over her destiny was slowly slipping away.

“Before you get too sulky,” Kafka continued. “Just realize that they would have all died without you. Along with nearly all the galaxy.”

“At cost of my life, right?” Stelle clarified, anger covering the fear that was creeping like ice through her veins.

Kafka frowned. “Yes. Maybe it was the pure determination both of you possessed to be in control of your own destinies that changed the outcome to something Elio couldn’t have predicted, but what happened was truly the best-case scenario. We were prepared to lose both of you in the aeon war.”

“So we were always meant to die?” Caelus snipped, a hard edge to his tone. "No matter which one of us was the stellaron's vessel?"

Kafka didn’t respond right away. Instead, her expression turned regretful. “I’m sorry,” she slowly spoke, those words ringing with more genuine emotion than Stelle had ever heard from her. “I know that this sentiment is far too little too late, and you might not believe me at all, but… I did care for both of you. A future where I lost either of you was not what I considered ideal, but when the existence of the galaxy was at stake… my feelings on the matter were irrelevant.

"But,” Kafka continued, “considering that you both defied all odds and predictions, I thought you both deserved the truth, no matter how harsh it may be.”

Stelle was rendered speechless. As overwhelmed as Stelle was, that sentiment felt genuine, at least, which almost made them harder to process.

Caelus, on the other hand, still had some fire in him. “How can you say that,” he challenged, “knowing you were raising us to send us off to our deaths?”

“Everything I did was to give you a fighting chance to avoid death,” Kafka answered, her voice taking on a growly edge in defence. “Stelle may not remember, but I know you do. You even said yourself I was brutal on you. I had to be because I knew there would come a time when I wouldn’t be around to protect you. Every bloody battle I let you face, where you screamed at me or cried or got hurt, was all to prepare you to face even worse situations that I wouldn’t be around to help you tackle.”

Caelus grew silent at that.

“I was not destined to save the world,” Kafka continued, her voice calmer now. “That was placed on you two. All I could do was give you every skill you would need to accomplish your destiny. But now… you two are all grown up with bright futures ahead of you. That is more than I could have ever asked for. So if you hate me now, I can live with that.”

“Kafka…” Caelus spoke, all previous anger now gone from his voice.

As weird as it was, Stelle felt similarly. Maybe she was too numb to make an accurate assessment of things, but she felt like Kafka meant every word. Like Kafka, her supposed enemy, actually did care for Stelle more than she knew. 

“Stelle," Kafka spoke, approaching the two of them, "you have a place you need to get back to, but I need to ask a favor of you.”

“Depends on what it is,” she said, her mind still reeling with information.

“Take Caelus with you.”

Caelus’ brow furrowed. “Huh? Take me where?”

A sad smile flashed across Kafka's face. “I’m kicking you out of the Stellaron Hunters.”

“What?! Why?”

She leveled him with a knowing look. “I know you’ve been sneaking off trying to fix stellaron problems the way the Astral Express does. So it’s better I let you do that instead of watching you get yelled at by the others for not following orders.”

Caelus fell silent at that.

Kafka hummed, amused at winning this verbal battle. “You’ll never hear these words from my mouth again, but…” She reached out, cupping Stelle’s cheek with one hand and Caelus’ with the other. “I’m proud of both of you.”

For some reason, those words hit Stelle harder than she expected them to.

The next second, Kafka pulled away. “Take care, Kiddos.” With a smile, Kafka turned on her heel and started strolling off down the alleyway.

Leaving a speechless duo standing in her wake.

~~~

“Where is she?” March muttered, looking over the busy plaza.

Dan Heng’s fists tightened. He should never have let Stelle wander off alone with Kafka. Nothing good could ever come from it. He’d been about ready to sprint to her side when he first saw Stelle with that Stellaron Hunter, but he’d trusted her and stayed put as she’d asked him to. That had been ten minutes ago, and despite he and March having acquired the long-forgotten snacks, Stelle was nowhere in sight.

He pulled out his phone again, searching for a response to any of his previous five texts, only there was none.

Just as he was about to call her—

“I see her!”

Dan Heng looked up, searching the crowd for Stelle and finally spotting her approaching with someone he’d never seen before by her side.

His feet moved on their own as he wove through the crowd towards her. “Stelle.”

Her somber expression brightened slightly as she saw him.

Before he could ask if she was alright, she threw her arms around him and held on tight. With her safe and sound back in his arms, relief flooded him, though he quickly turned a sharp gaze at the newcomer she’d been walking with. One who, oddly, looked familiar even though Dan Heng was certain he’d never seen that man before in his life.

"Hey!" March said, having caught up. "We were worried."

"Sorry," Stelle muttered. 

"Did something happen?" Dan Heng asked.

With a heavy sigh, Stelle pulled away. “Er… I’ll tell you later. But, right now…” She turned around, only to wave the man over to them.

At least the man had the decency to look abashed at his intrusion.

“So, uh…” Stelle gave Dan Heng and March a painfully awkward smile. “This is my brother, Caelus.”

“Brother?!” March cried.

Not bothering to cover his surprise, Dan Heng looked the man over, instantly seeing the family resemblance.

“Yeah,” Caelus sheepishly confirmed. “It's a long story. Uh… nice to meet you both?”

“You probably already know,” Stelle said. “But this is March 7th and my husband, Dan Heng.”

“Uh, nice to meet you, too,” March awkwardly greeted, giving him a wave.

Dan Heng gave a nod of acknowledgment, too surprised to do much else.

“So,” Stelle started. “From here on, he’s joining us as a Nameless.”

“Huh?” March glanced between Caelus and Stelle in surprise.

Dan Heng felt like he was going to have a headache with how fast the surprises were coming. He should have been used to it, considering who he was married to, but this was notably different. “Why don’t you sit down and start explaining?”

Stelle didn’t protest, allowing Dan Heng to guide her back to the bench before heavily taking a seat on it. Dan Heng took a seat next to her, unwilling to let go of her hand quite yet. Before he could ask her to start explaining, though, she patted the empty seat next to her. “Why don’t you take a seat?” she offered Caelus. “That was a lot for you, too.”

The man sighed, suddenly looking extremely ragged. “If you don’t mind,” he said, practically collapsing down on the other side of the bench. He set down the long gift box he’d been holding, leaning it against the bench before bracing his elbows on his knees and hanging his head.

Although his guard didn’t completely fall away, Dan Heng wasn’t so cruel as to not feel some pity for Caelus. Seems whatever happened with Kafka was hard on both the siblings.

Unsure what else to do, March held out the bag of snacks to Caelus. “We got some of the little donuts from the shop over there. Want one? I bet it would be a good pick-me-up.”

Though surprised at the offer, Caelus shyly accepted. “If you don’t mind.”

With a smile, March held the bag out to him. “We got plenty.”

He took a couple with a quiet thanks.

March then held the bag over to Stelle. “You better like these considering you disappeared on us.”

Stelle smirked. “And if I don’t?”

March yanked the bag away. “Then none for you!”

“I haven’t even tried them yet.”

March took a single donut out of the bag and put it in Stelle’s outstretched hand.

Stelle glowered at it.

The interaction was enough to clear the remaining tension in Dan Heng’s shoulders. Stelle was just fine. Everything was okay. Even with the exception of the newcomer who sat with a small smile as he ate his snack, everything felt back to normal.

With March having finished passing out snacks, including giving more to Stelle, Caelus scooted over to the edge of the bench so as to make room for March to sit.

“Thanks,” she said, plopping down between him and Stelle. “So, you’re going to be joining us?”

“Seems so,” Caelus answered, his mannerisms more relaxed now.

“You said you were Stelle’s brother,” Dan Heng prodded.

Caelus nodded.

“He was with the Stellaron Hunters,” Stelle explained.

“Then what brings you here?” Dan Heng inquired.

Caelus cringed. “It seems I’ve been kicked out.”

March frowned. “Huh? For what?”

“Apparently, being too helpful.”

“Do they think that’s a bad thing?”

Caelus shrugged.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Stelle spoke up, “but it felt more like… an excuse than anything.”

“Seems about right,” Caelus quietly agreed. “It seemed like Kafka wasn’t exactly kicking me out. More like… she didn’t want me to have to be with them any longer.”

“What did Kafka say?” Dan Heng asked, his curiosity growing stronger by the second.

He almost regretted that question as a heavy cloud seemed to settle down on the siblings once again. Stelle answered, “I’d prefer to tell everyone all at once. It’s… a long story.”

“Okay.” Dan Heng rubbed her back soothingly.

“Then, I guess Caelus is really coming back with us,” March said, turning back to Caelus. “So, welcome to the crew.”

Caelus’ expression lit up. “If you’ll take me, I’m happy to be aboard.”

“I think we still have some time before my phone is fixed. So do you want—”

“Actually,” Dan Heng spoke up, having heard his own phone ding with a message notification. “They just finished, if you want to make your way back to the shop.”

March popped up from her seat. “Then let’s go.”

“Wait,” Stelle said, taking out her own phone. “I want to send a message to Himeko saying we’re bringing someone with us.”

“Good call,” March said. “Hey! Caelus, what’s your number, anyway? We’ll add you to the group chat.”

Caelus pulled out his phone, tapping it a few times before offering it to March. “Add your info, and I’ll text you when you get your phone back.”

“Sounds good to me.”

~~~

With their mission of fixing March’s phone completed, they all headed back to the Express. Stelle was beginning to feel the exhaustion kicking in but she had to keep pressing on. She had to properly introduce the newest trailblazer to Himeko and Welt, after all.

Much to their surprise, Welt and Himeko were waiting right outside the Express for them, Pom-pom standing in the doorway.

Suddenly, Stelle grew a little nervous, though she wasn’t sure if that was truly nerves or if it was her baby moving around. Maybe they were kicking out warning her to calm down and stop stressing them out.

Sorry, Baby, she thought, rubbing a hand over her stomach.

Dan Heng’s hand came to rest on her back, calling her attention. She glanced up at him, spying the concerned look on his face.

She just shot him a smile and a nod, hoping he’d understand she was just fine.

“Welcome,” Himeko greeted, being the first to approach them. “Is this the new Nameless I heard about?”

“Yes,” Stelle said, stepping forward to make proper introductions. “This is my brother, Caelus.”

Himeko looked him over in surprise. “Well, I can certainly see the resemblance.”

“Caelus, this is Himeko and Welt,” Stelle introduced, seeing as Welt had come up to them. “And over in the doorway is the conductor, Pom-pom.” Who, by the way, seemed very excited considering how frantically they were waving.

“We meet again,” Welt said.

Caelus nodded. “I guess we do.”

Wait… “again”?

“Huh?” March piped up, confused. “Do you know him, Mr. Yang?”

“Yes,” Welt confirmed, looking back over to Caelus. “In the war, you provided protection for the medical transport, did you not?”

“That’s where I’ve seen you,” Himeko jumped in, realization dawning over her. “You were always such a mess, and you never stayed for long so I never got a good look at you.”

Caelus gave a sheepish shrug. “Heh. Yeah, that was me. Kafka told me not to get too involved, but I couldn’t help it. If Stelle was going to the heart of the war, I couldn’t not follow, stellaron or not.”

“Wait,” March spoke up. “Where exactly were you? Dan Heng and I followed Stelle into the heart of everything, but I don’t recall seeing you.”

“I doubt any of us would have been paying enough attention to recall an unfamiliar face in the crowd,” Dan Heng said. “We had more pressing matters.”

“I started on the outskirts,” Caelus answered. “Just started dragging out the injured and helping them get to the transports. Occasionally, I’d ride with them to be a guard against the tougher monsters. The deeper I followed you guys into the mess, the less I focused on the injured and more on helping defeat the machines. Things get a little fuzzy toward the end, but Kafka said I took down a doomsday machine?”

At that, Stelle felt her jaw hit the ground as she stared at him. Suddenly, hazy memories tainted with vivid fear came rushing back to her. Standing in the middle of a war-torn planet, the acrid smell of burning machinery and the metallic smell of blood filling her nose as she stared up at robots larger than anything anyone had ever seen before. The worst of which was a destruction bot imbued with the power of Nanook himself as the dying aeon tried to hide behind it. It had taken all their strongest weapons and planning to even make a dent in it.

But then, they’d watched the center of the bot start glowing, brighter and brighter like bubbling lava, until it had exploded. It had taken a moment for everyone to realize what had happened, but once the dust had settled, a war cry had rung out. In the middle of the noise, Stelle had led the charge forward to Nanook himself, Dan Heng and March by her side with a roaring army behind her, ready to take on the last wave of monsters protecting the aeon.

“That was you?” Stelle murmured in awe.

“Don’t ask me how I managed to do it,” Caelus said, running his hand through his hair before lifting up a section to reveal a long, curved scar carved into the side of his head. “Cracked my skull open so I don’t remember much. Must have just charged headlong into the fray with half a plan and somehow completed it. Apparently, that plan was taking a stellaron and shoving it inside the core.”

“Wait, what?” March cried, suddenly stepping closer. “You were inside that monster?”

Caelus sheepishly smiled. “Yeah. Somehow. I’ve always been an ‘act first, think later,’ kind of person, more than Stelle ever was. Must have just run on impulse.”

“How’d you manage to survive the explosion?” Dan Heng asked.

Caelus shrugged. “My only guess is that my body, like Stelle’s, was specifically designed to withstand stellarons.” He lifted up the sleeve of his jacket, revealing a spiderweb of angry red scarring. But then took off his glove, revealing how his hand held no scarring and the red ring on his wrist that separated the two sections. “Weird, isn’t it? Kafka’s guess as to why my arm’s like this is that when I stuck my hand in the core with the stellaron, everything outside that core ended up being a mess whereas the inside was protected. As for why I survived at all when I definitely should have died… maybe the core expanded, protecting me? Don’t have a better guess than that. I remember seeing white; that’s it.”

There was a short pause as no one knew what to say to that. It wasn’t as though Stelle didn’t have anything she wanted to say but rather had too many thoughts rolling around in her mind and not a clue which one needed to be voiced first.

In the end, it was Welt who broke the silence. “You did well,” he said, resting a hand on Caelus’ shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Yeah!” March chimed in. “That was amazing! We had no idea how to take that monster down.”

“I second that,” Stelle finally said, giving him a smile. “Guess being a Stellaron Hunter had its perks.”

The mood lightened just ever so slightly at that as Caelus mirthlessly chuckled. “I guess it did.”

“Well,” Himeko said. “With a story like that, I feel you’ve earned a place on the Express. We’re lucky to have you, Trailblazer.”

Finally, Caelus’ smile turned genuine as his eyes brightened. “Happy to be aboard.”

“Here.” Stelle reached for the box Caelus was still holding. “I can take that while the others show you around. Thanks for carrying it back for me.”

With a nod, Caelus handed it over.

March watched with curiosity. “Who’s that for?”

“Kafka gave it to me. For the baby.”

“Oh?” Himeko said. “Baby shower gifts already coming in? Though, one from Kafka is most surprising.”

“No kidding,” March agreed. “Makes me curious.”

That one little remark was how Stelle found herself sitting in the parlor, gift on her lap while her family looked on. She understood why they were curious and maybe even a bit concerned. She felt similarly if she were being honest.

After untying the pink bow, she lifted the powder blue lid off the box to reveal white tissue paper inside. Laying on top was a small baseball bat, complete with plastic balls and a little glove.

Amused, she took out the toys, one clearly meant for a small child. A few chuckles sounded around her.

“It’s fitting,” Dan Heng said with a grin, taking the small glove to examine.

But the box felt too heavy for that to be the end. Stelle lifted the paper, only to see a full-sized bat, complete with baseballs and a leather baseball mitt.

Stelle pulled the bat first, looking over the blue design painted on the gray material. The weight was familiar in her hand, but as memories resurfaced, the weight soon settled on her heart. Kafka had trained her how to wield this weapon, a long time ago.

Suddenly, Kafka’s conversation came rolling back to the forefront of her mind.

“Wow,” March remarked. “That’s really… thinking ahead.”

“Yeah, but Kafka didn’t really want to get a baby item,” Caelus said. “At least she got something nice. She never spent money on toys for us.”

Stelle hummed, trying to ignore the haunting thoughts for now. “That sounds accurate."

“She did let us rummage through the dumpsters behind the toyshops, though," Caelus continued. "We found some good things in there.”

Suddenly, the room went silent.

And Stelle watched as Caelus slowly grew uncomfortable. “What?”

“So you’re telling me that was Kafka’s fault?” March cried.

Dan Heng sighed, suddenly looking very tired. “So that’s where that came from.”

“Uh…” Caelus’s expression turned sheepish. “Did I… say something bad?”

Stelle shook her head, a sudden headache coming on. For as long as she could remember, she'd always had a draw to garbage cans, making her the butt of many jokes and much harassment. She was happy her friends slowly accepted that part of her, seeing as a part of her never wanted to stop. She just got so much joy out of finding something good that nothing else seemed to faze her.

It was just... the last thing she expected was for her favorite hobby to be explained like this. “No. But just… never let them catch you rifling through dumpsters. They will never, ever let it go.”

~~~

With all the excitement that had occurred today, Dan Heng expected Stelle to be in bed by now. When he’d suggested earlier that she retire early for the evening, she’d looked tired with the way her eyes were glazed over and her cheeks had lost some of their color. The most concerning thing, though, was that she hadn’t protested to the suggestion.

However, instead of finding her resting in bed, Dan Heng entered the bedroom only to see Stelle staring at her chest in the mirror.

The scar that had once been so blatant had faded somewhat thanks to Bailu’s medicine. Although it looked slightly less angry than it once had, it would likely take years for it to fade. Even with Bailu’s medicine, Dan Heng doubted it would ever fully disappear. Which was fine. It’s not like Dan Heng cared that she had scars; he had them, too. The only reason he wished it would disappear was because his wife looked completely lost in thought as she ran her hands absently over the mark between her breasts.

Unable to watch any longer, he marched over and laid the small mirror down flat on the dresser, interrupting Stelle’s musings maybe a little too brashly considering that she startled at his action.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

She shrugged dismissively.

He hated the way her eyes held none of their usual light, her face having taken on a gloomy gray tint. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

Her gaze hit the floor, her brow scrunching together and lips tugging downward as though in pain. It was an expression that practically ripped out his heart.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. Her abdomen was growing, so facing chest to chest was becoming increasingly awkward, but she was still small enough where it wasn’t too bad.

She leaned into him, clinging to his jacket and nuzzling her face into his shoulder. The way she leaned so fully against him further proved something heavy was weighing on her. But he didn't want to press. He'd just wait for her to respond, or maybe, if need be, not respond at all. 

“Kafka said I was supposed to die.”

Her muttered words surprised him for just a second before a wave of anger overtook that feeling. It figured Stelle’s mood had something to do with that woman. He never should have let her go off with Kafka. “But you didn’t,” he reminded.

“No,” Stelle clarified. “Like… I was literally created to die.”

At that, words failed him.

She sniffed, and he held on tighter as she clung to him.

“But you escaped that destiny,” he finally said. “You’re here now.”

“I know,” she said, pushing away and wiping her tear-stained cheeks with the heel of her hand. “It’s just… I don’t know. It’s a lot.”

His heart was breaking as he watched his wife fall apart. Regret for his earlier actions—rather, his inaction—was creeping in as he cradled the back of her head, leaning forward to rest his forehead on hers. “I should have gone with you. If that’s all Kafka had to say, she could have saved it.”

Stelle shook her head, her bangs ruffling against his. “No. It’s not…” She sniffed again. “It’s fine, but…”

“Deep breath,” he gently instructed, rubbing her upper arms now.

She did as told, taking a deep albeit shaky breath.

“What all did Kafka say?” Dan Heng asked, leaning back to look her in the eye.

Wiping away the remnants of her tears, Stelle began. “She admitted that Caelus and I were both created to hold a stellaron so we could defeat Nanook, and that we were both supposed to die. In every foreseen future, there wasn’t one we were supposed to live. But… like…” She made a flailing motion, as though explaining that her foreseen future clearly hadn’t come true. “Obviously.”

“You made your own destiny,” Dan Heng said. “You and Caelus both, it seems.”

She nodded. “That’s why Kafka told us the truth. Because she… I think she felt bad.”

Dan Heng’s brow furrowed, yet he kept all opinions and doubts to himself.

“So… it’s hard because part of me doesn’t want to hate her,” Stelle continued. “Especially since she raised us and taught us so much. She's the closest thing I've had to a mother figure, even if I can't really remember. But I feel like I should be mad because I was just… I was used. And planted here to fall in line with their plan no matter how hard I tried to escape it. Every step of the way, I was fighting against their plans for me, yet… I was in their plan the whole time.”

Her voice was warbly, and her eyes were red as her tears started up again. He hated it, yet he was helpless to do anything but listen.

“And I’ve got this reminder now,” she continued, grabbing at her chest. “That… that their future for me was never something I could escape from.”

“But you did,” he cut in, cradling her cheeks and swiping the tears from them. “That scar is a reminder you made it out alive. That you’re still here, forging your own destiny with us.”

Her frown deepened. “Yeah, but… Caelus could have just as easily been the one to have the stellaron. It was just… as long as one of us made it on the Astral Express. So even being here now… I feel guilty, knowing I was just a plant. It’s my fault you all were dragged so deep into this war. It’s all… my fault.”

He took a moment to carefully choose his words. “Even if that was the intent of the Stellaron Hunters, you yourself were never a plant. You were, and still are, one of the Nameless due to your own choice.”

She finally looked back up at him.

He gave her a sad smile, his heart in pieces for her. “You choose this path. You fought Nanook because you ultimately are selfless. And we followed you because you were our shining ray of hope. The Stellaron Hunters couldn’t have accounted for the fact that you made such strong connections of your own volition and rallied the galaxy behind you to lead the charge for the universe. That was all you, not the Stellaron Hunters. Nothing is your fault.”

His words sparked a little glimmer of hope back into her golden eyes, only for it to fade just as quickly. "But that was their plan, for me to make connections."

He sighed. "Even if it was their plan for you, it was because of who you are that people rallied behind you. But... if that's not enough, then I guess I just have to give them credit for putting you here. It's because of the Stellaron Hunters' plans that I was able to meet you. Whatever opinions I have of them, it was because of them and their decision to choose you that I was blessed with you as my wife.”

Stelle glanced away, though this time, it wasn’t pain that flashed across her expression but sheepishness. “Kafka told me not to marry you,” she admitted. “At the time, she didn't tell me why, though I guess I understand now. That’s why I tricked you into marrying me. To spite her.”

His lips twitched up in amusement. “How many times do I have to tell you that you didn’t trick me into anything.”

“I feel like I did.”

“I knew what you were doing,” he whispered, holding her close. “Although, I wanted to marry you more formally elsewhere.”

“Sorry,” she returned quietly. “I know I messed up your plans.”

“With you, I’m used to it. I just couldn't say no to you when you were so happy.” He could still remember her unabashed smile as he agreed to partake in that ceremonial wedding dance with her on a planet many, many trailblaze missions ago. Several other couples surrounded them, but as they spun around together—likely missing many of the steps even though the announcer was calling them out and allowing their wrists to grow ever entangled by a silk cloth that connected them—Dan Heng felt like it was only him and Stelle in that moment. He could still feel the way the cloth bound their wrists in the end, tying them together in a union that would not be so easily broken.

He was never one for crowds, hence why he’d been planning a private, quiet ceremony elsewhere, but ultimately, he’d never regretted that being their wedding. Though Stelle did humor him later by partaking in customs he was more familiar with, allowing him to formally present her those particular hair sticks she loved more than anything despite rarely wearing them.

“So never feel bad about that,” he continued. “I was happy to follow you.”

“Yeah, but… what if I had died? Then Kafka would have been right that it was better to stay away—”

“But you didn’t,” Dan Heng cut in, reminding her again. “So don’t worry about a past future that’s impossible now.”

“I just don’t want to hurt you,” she admitted on a whisper.

Dan Heng frowned. “I know you never would on purpose,” he assured. “If I’ve learned one thing from my past incarnation, it is that death is not something we have control over. Even with all the power I have at hand, I cannot bring you back. Which is why I need to cherish the days that I do have with you. Scars or no, and no matter what intentions others had for you in the past, I consider myself blessed every day I spend with you, my starlight.”

Her eyes had lost their melancholy now, regaining some of their normal sparkle. Although, that might have been exaggerated by the new round of tears forming.

“And even if I’d known I would have lost you, I still would have married you.” Sweet words, yes, but words he meant. An outcast like him would have gladly taken that blessing even if he’d known it would be temporary. Stelle had taught him the meaning of “better to love and lose than to never have loved at all.”

She sniffed, her lips warbling as the forming tears broke free and rolled down her cheeks anew. Before he could swipe them away, she grabbed his cheeks and lunged forward to kiss him.

“I love you,” she said, her words weak and whispery.

“I love you, too,” he quietly returned before bestowing kisses of his own on her.

And promise I will love and cherish you for as long as we both shall live. Hopefully, for a long time yet to come.

[aliceisaperson]

Hey, I feel your pain with the bi-phobia. I (a cis Woman, for context) went through the terrifying process of coming out to my conservative christian parents and then went on to date the man I'm gonna marry. I literally only ever dated 1 woman. It really sucks what you're going through. It'd be great to be able to shake people and impress on them your feelings and how they're making you feel. Unfortunately being queer doesn't automatically mean that your sister is a good person, or that her opinions are right. (they're not) There are a million things I could say, but that won't take away what you're feeling now. So sending appropriate amounts of care towards you. P.S. IDK if the 17 in your bio is your age, if it is, I'm 29, so completely understand if you're weirded out and don't reply. What's it like being Gen Z? I imagine it's very similar to being a Millenial only with TikTok dances or something :)

I really appreciate you reaching out, it honestly means a lot to me that people are willing to write long messages to make me feel better. I really wish we as m-spec people were not treated as less queer than others. Im kind of just now realizing how my sister’s never really treated me as a queer person, let alone someone who understands the issues I’m talking about to her, which I do. I can think of times before where we would debate on something and she’d try to use her identity to win an argument even if she was wrong, because she just assumed she understood the queer issues more than me even though I’m also queer. I honestly do not think she even respected me as a fellow queer person at all and never saw me as one. I’m honestly really glad that I’ve chosen not the talk to her anymore.

Also yes, I am 17. I do not mind you reaching out at all, I actually really appreciate it cause she always just said “you’ll understand when your older”, so it’s honestly kind of great to have someone older than her agree that her opinions are bullshit. I think younger people communicating and having real conversations with adults is an extremely important part of maturating and I also really appreciate it when someone who has more life experience than me is able to relate to my experiences and talk to me like a person.

Also on the last part of your post I kind of feel like the main difference between gen z in millennials is the humor but we’re all different people with different experiences so I’ve always found it a bit difficult to specifically pinpoint characteristics of specific generations but that’s just me personally.

Again I really appreciate you reaching out, it means a lot to hear support from a queer person that’s older than me. It always means a lot.

[femmmie]

"Wha- what's happening?"

Cold sweat trickled down Ian's temples. He stood in the Smosh office but the lights were somehow off.

"I'm sorry, Ian," Courtney said with an apologetic half-smile. "But we had to do it to ya."

"You're not..." Shayne began, "welcome, anymore."

Jacky waived at Ian silently, but her smile was spiteful.

"You're fired from Smosh!" Damian spat.

They all stood there in the dark.

"Where's Anthony?" Ian cried out, desperate for an answer to this madness.

A terrible laughter filled the room. Starting softly but cackling, thundering louder and louder.

All Smosh cast and crew stepped aside to reveal him, standing there, dressed in all black. Anthony. His slender yet strong figure, his jewelry shimmering in the little light there was, and his eyes too.. Anthony looked maniacly at Ian, as he laughed. His perfect curls shaking from the laughter and falling over his face.

Anthony slowly walked up to Ian. Closer and closer. He'd stopped laughing now. Noses almost touching, Anthony said with an evil grin: "the old SWITCHEROO!" And he pushed Ian really hard. Ian felt himself falling, falling, falling...

He woke up.

"Wow, that sure was something," he chuckled to himself. Sure, Ian still had some issues to talk about in therapy. But he'd rather this nightmare scenario played out than talk to a therapist who was a Disney adult, ugh! Luckily, he had a normal one now.

He took a short shower and put on a black sweater and blue jeans. He felt fly as fuck; watching two and a half youtube tutorials on dressing fashionably had really propelled his style to the next level. And with his golden glasses, he saw every minute detail of himself in the mirror. He was really feeling himself today.

He went to the garage and got into his classic Corvette C4 and drove up to Anthony's house. Anthony greeted him at the gate, and as soon as Ian got out of the car, Anthony gave him a hug.

"Thank you for coming, wow you look really good!"

"Thanks, I have got my mojo back, baby," Ian joked.

"Oh, behave!" Anthony joked back and laughed. It was a sunny Californian morning but Anthony's laughter made it that much brighter.

Ian had come to Anthony's today to hang out.

"By the way, it's absolutely okay that you won't come to the office to film tomorrow," Ian said. They had decided at the beginning of their renewed business relationship that Anthony participating in the side channels would be completely optional, but Ian wanted him to feel zero pressure to show up anyway.

"Thank you," Anthony smiled, "I just really want to hang out with you as much as possible this week, but not necessarily with other people present as well."

Ian understood that. They had been reveling so much in the humor they shared, but it was like a language of their own and didn't always translate well to the other people at Smosh. But they were perfectly happy in their own little world.

They got into Anthony's house, which was very clean and clear. Only a few pieces of dark wood furniture, a couch, and some art pieces decorated the living room. The rest was all white. They sat down on the couch and talked.

"You know I had a weird ass dream tonight," Ian said.

Anthony loved when Ian told him personal stuff that he didn't know yet . He sat up, turned to Ian and looked at him with those mischievous eyes Ian had known and loved since sixth grade. "Tell me dude! What was it about?

"Well," Ian began but he had to laugh. Anthony laughed with him.

"What?"

"I dreamed that you fired me from Smosh, and everyone just stood there dissing me, it was dark and then you appeared, and you screamed "the old SWITCHEROO." Ian laughed, and Anthony lay in absolute stitches.

When he'd recovered from laughing so much, he said "you know you can't get fired from Smosh, right. You're the co-owner dude."

"I know," Ian said, smiling. "Apparently I still have some things to work through in my mind.

"Yeah, me too. But that's okay. I'm glad we can talk about it with each other."

"I am, too."

[a30somethingslookatpopculture]

Top 10 "13 Reasons Why" Characters

I am focusing mainly on the main cast and characters that I feel made a big enough impact on the show as a whole. Where I rank them isn’t solely based on how much I like them. Some instances will also be based on how well I feel the actor portrays them. However controversial that might be at times.

1. Tony Padilla

Tony just oozes cool, to me. I loved him from the moment I saw him. His car, awesome. His leather jacket, also awesome. His hair and style, great. His humor and overall characterization were great to me as well. I think we can all agree, we need a friend like Tony in our lives! I was always rooting for my boy!

2. Justin Foley

This one is a weird one. I spent most of season one thinking Justin was such a jerk. His friends were jerks, his actions that led to his tape also made him a jerk. But, by the time the series ended, I absolutely loved the guy! My heart hurt for him, man. He was done so wrong!

3. Clay Jensen

Clay was an interesting character. I can’t quite place it but, I have love/hate feelings towards him. Especially as the series progresses. Yes, dude went through some seriously terrible stuff in his young life. But he turned into a bit of a douche. I was glad to see him seemingly riding off into a happier life, though. Sadly, his demons will always be with him.

4. Hannah Baker

Hannah’s story was just sad altogether. But we all know that already. In terms of character, I liked her. I could relate in some ways. Being a former victim of immense bullying, I totally understood her thought process. Though I didn’t have exactly what happened to her, happen to me, I was certainly a victim of harsh rumors like she was. It takes a huge toll on a young girl’s mind. The tape thing was a little much, though...

Sadly, we didn't get enough time with her for me to truly grow with her, so I put her lower on this list than I wanted to.

5. Bryce Walker

Say what you will about Bryce the character, but the actor did such an amazing job at portraying such a despicable, yet somewhat understandable character. Especially as the series progresses. At times I found myself questioning if I should hate him, or feel bad for him. He was definitely NOT a good guy in any sense of the word. But I give Justin Prentice all the credit on this one! I like a good 'heel".

6. Alex Standall

Alex is awkward and quiet. And he definitely struggled a lot in the show. 13 Reasons Why never shied away from dark themes and Alex was just one of many that got hurt a lot. My really felt for him. Especially early on.

7. Jessica Davis

I have never really been able to decide what exactly it is that I feel about Jessica. I liked her, but also found her to be a bit too uptight and bratty at times. In season one especially. But, that's the point. She was the spoiled daddy’s girl type. I began to sympathize with her more as the show progressed, though.

8. Zach Dempsey

I didn’t think much one way or another about Zach. For much of the show he was the jock stereotype. I liked seeing his more sensitive sides, though. And I especially love the slight bromance he and Clay would later have.

9. Tyler Down

We’ve all known someone like Tyler. Someone really on the outside of every group in high school. Someone you’d see off on their own, and usually the target of many of the jock’s attacks. Seeing how this would impact Tyler throughout the show just broke my heart into a million pieces. I particularly loved how the actor portrayed him in the later seasons. He got really real, and really raw. His talent showed in his performance.

10. Ani Achola

I just don’t have a clue what I think of Ani. I didn’t feel she was needed really. I mean, I guess they needed someone to come in and humanize Bryce a bit and give Clay a new love interest. But her and Clay just didn[‘t do it for me. They had some cute moments together. And I have nothing against the character per se. I just couldn’t connect with her as much.

[kaleidoscope1967eyes]

Okay so I’m basically at the end of Hard Days Night and omg-

I keep expecting the bloopers parts to play during certain songs (Like I want John’s voice to crack a

I like how everyone knows them and also doesn’t give a shit about who they are at the same time

I. Am. A. George. Harrison. Lad.

I mean seriously he is so fucking sassy and quick omg

John’s comedic timing also. I like to believe he didn’t follow the script and screwed around with that stuff

Back to George- I’m Happy Just To Dance With You? Top tier song. My favorite from the movie followed up by This Boy acoustic

God the way they treat Ringo

I have a whole new page of George pictures.

Anyway 9/10 experience

That's honestly one of my favorite things about Beatles movies--they never take themselves too seriously, and the humor is just impeccable! (aka timeless in the sense that to this day, it still feels like a shitpost and is funny by modern standards of humor)

For real!!! They really are Just Guys™ and I'm glad this movie acknowledges that :p

GEORGE!!! GEORGE FOREVER!!!

I like how he subverted the expectations regarding the whole "quiet Beatle" stereotype, and that makes his delivery even funnier

John is a little shit and he's so ridiculous here--he understood the assignment and just. took off.

I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH??? IT'S SO GOOD!!!

RINGOOOOO ;3;

Yes you do. One time I spent over an hour staring at the montage of the photographer taking pictures of George Harrison's face

[daycourtofficial]

Hi! I have an entire essay in my head about how much I appreciate you and your writing, but I'll try to keep it short. I'm relatively new to ACOTAR and even some types of fanfic but I'm hooked. HOOKED. Simply put, you are hands-down by favorite Azriel fanfic writer. You're brilliant. I can't even like... Okay, I read "You're Losing Me" and it's beautiful follow-up a month or two ago, and I thoroughly cried. The way you characterize Az and reader, your concise but descriptive way of illustrating everything from facial expressions to distant memories, everything HITS. I feel like I can truly imagine myself standing there, in front of a broken Illyrian boy, fighting for a future with him or just myself. I was so touched by it I kept an eye out for your fics ever since. Which leads me to your SMUT. Oh my god, oh my goddd it's among the sexiest, most satisfying smuts I've ever read. I know writing smut can be hard but you make it feel so natural. The dialogue, and physical and emotional progression, the moments of humor! I'm blushing just even thinking about "Bad Idea", my absolute fave. I'm still slowly making my way through your fics but damn, I'm sold. And last night I finally read "I Will Follow You into the Dark", and I honestly think you should be arrested for the emotional damage you've done to me. Granted, I was high at the time of reading, but that just made it so much better and yet so, so much worse. I'm walking around today in kind of a haze from it, as if I suffered an actual loss. I don't know where you come up with the individual scenes within that fic, but I just hope you're ok. I don't care that someone might think that maybe some of this is the weed talking, but that was one of most beautiful, heartbreaking meditations on grief I've ever read, and it really affected me. I just really connected with it. That ending was such a bold choice that killed me, but you wrote it so well I feel I understood it. I felt Azriel's echoes. So! I'm gonna end it here and say thank you for your service

Oh my god I am a PUDDLE on the floor this is so sweet I’ve read this like 12 times 😭😭

Thank you so much I genuinely appreciate it way more than you could ever know!! I’m genuinely so glad to hear your comments about the smut bc smut does not come naturally to me and I overthink it A LOT

Thank you I want to give you a little forehead smooch and tuck you in

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! I hope you're doing well. May I please request a matchup for One Piece?

My pronouns are she/her and I prefer men.

Personality: Leo, INFJ, 1w9. Making an effort to understand myself and others is important to me, so that leads to long periods of pondering my actions, as well as others’. I love having me time, though I enjoy being with those close to me from time to time. I love discussing topics that revolve around enigmas. It’s not as important to have others agree with me as it is to explore the unknown with them. Since I’m reserved, I take a long time to open up to others. I’m gentle but can be (unintentionally) intimidating. I’m adventurous and have completed a dream of mine – living/working in a country that doesn’t speak my native language. I actively search for things to be thankful for. I'm easily flustered, clumsy, athletic, and conscientious. My humor is witty and sarcastic. Every now and then, I like listening to the branches being rustled by the wind and being able to gaze up at the moon and stars shining brightly, which remind me that there's a lot of beauty in the world, and I'm glad to experience it. I am happiest when seeking out information/reason. I’m really kinda superstitious…

Likes and Dislikes: I like practicing the languages I know, demonology, biology, genealogy, reading, museums, Victorian history, singing, alternative rock, and exploring my surroundings. A large portion of what I read/watch relates to the occult. Although I used to play the piano and was extremely talented, I still admire it and may want to get back into it in the future. I dislike storms, large bodies of water, and people who always turn disagreements into arguments. 

Hobbies: Writing horror stories, DnD, reading, singing, listening to music, watching horror movies, drawing, and yoga. As an avid horror fan, animated movies are for sure a guilty pleasure of mine.

Appearance: long wavy auburn hair and my eyes are more of a honey brown. I always wear round glasses. I'm pale with freckles on my cheeks and nose. 5’9, more of an hourglass shape and have a bit of muscle

Thank you so much in advance! I'm sure I'll love it. :)

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I am currently up to episode 410 (Amazon Lily) of One Piece so please keep that in mind while reading. I hope you like your matchup!

In One Piece, I match you with...

You and Law would take a while to get together since you’re both slow to open up to other people but once you learn to trust each other, your bond is unbreakable.

Admires the fact that you consider your actions and try to understand others. He’s surrounded by people like Luffy and the rest of the Straw Hats so it’s a nice change of pace being with someone who thinks before they act.

In a modern au, Law would absolutely play D&D. I can see him as either a rogue or the DM but either way, he enjoys playing through campaigns with you.

Loves your wit and sarcasm. He’s got a very dry sense of humour himself so he can certainly appreciate your humour as well.

I can also see Law as someone who is interested in the occult and enigmas. He finds those little known or understood aspects of life intriguing: it’s the same reason he’s interested in medicine and understanding the human body.

[docfuture]

I would like to know Everything and Anything that you would be willing to share about Learning is About To Occur, please

Is he patterned after one or more of his crew? He's a biogestalt, AIUI, which means he ostensibly *should* be a modified uploaded lizard with a flesh-instance he can periodically re-synch with(unless I am misunderstanding)

(Some spoilers for The Maker's Ark)

    A fair question, and one I will probably go into more detail about in a longer post 8-). But a few things. The Learning is About to Occur is not a biogestalt--he is an AI, but one who was created and raised in a specific way, as a person, among other AIs and biogestalts (his mentor was an old battleship AI everyone calls the 'Old Lady'), specifically to avoid a set of potential problems that the Grs'thnk were concerned about.

    They wanted AIs that understood people and could be understood (to some extent) by them, had emotion-equivalent responses that matched to people-understandable ones, and generally *liked* people.

    The Grs'thnk did not want remorseless robot death machines. They have those kind of movies too, and know what kinds of failure modes those have 8-)

    So, strictly speaking, his ship could probably function with a much smaller crew, and more robots and automation, but does not, because that is not what the Grs'thnk people, government and navy wanted.

    Now, Learning has gotten a bit ahead of the curve of where the Grs'thnk expect AIs to be, and I've hinted in the stories that it is taking them some time to catch up. (The Grs'thnk have a lot of small-c conservatives because many more of them live to be quite old.) The Grs'thnk Ambassador and fleet commander are well aware of this, and it is one of the reasons they specifically wanted Learning.

    He is smart, well-socialized, and charming. He gets along well with his biogestalt team (each ship AI has one), his captain, crew, and most other people he encounters.

    And he flirts with the ship AI of the Primly Certain because they both enjoy it. But he does it openly and with evident good humor, because if a ship AI is going a bit beyond what was expected, flirting with another ship is a lot less scary way to reveal that than to just start making ominous prophetic warnings 8-).

    I am glad you like the character--he is a lot of fun to write. 8-)