#and i feel like ive come really far over the years in that regard

[asimplecheeseburger]

oh snap i should probably post this today huh

2022 art chart

[wc-confessions]

I've recently REALLY attached myself to Clear Sky and Thunder from DotC because I've been rewriting the arc, and all the while, I have been experiencing a lot of really stressful things with my own father. I also feel connected with a semi-oc character I've written as a fusion of Bright Stream and Storm: Bright Storm, which was originally inspired by Bonefall, along with a lot of the foundations of my changes.

In my Rewrite Clear Sky's dad went missing and was never found. This was originally a Bonefall-inspired change, but now I feel deeply connected to it as my own thing because it's happening with my dad right now. He's been missing for over two months, and so far we've found nothing. Ive written Clear Sky to be sort of crushed by a feeling that nobody else cares, like his dad was brushed under the rug and forgotten, and i can share that feeling with him for somewhat more justifiable reasons from people around me.

Also in my Rewrite, Thunder feels a lot of disdain for Clear Sky for what he did to him and his mother, but can't help but grapple to the fantasy of a Good Dad and Happy Family, especially after him and himself nearly dying in that fire. I feel this really hard, and I added those feelings as a way of projecting, but I especially connect to it now that I know my dad could be gone for good after so long of never seeing him. Second, I wrote Thunder being disabled, just as Bonefall did, and I find the change really really important on that surface-level message against ableism, but I also write it as an analogy for being queer, and how i feel about my identity as such. This is because I wanted to be able to keep that message of yk don't be fucking ableist, but also include symbolic messages of homophobia and transphobia, because I refuse to just summon the actual issue out of thin air and make it a thing in my Rewrite.

Anyways, when it comes to Bright Storm herself, she's a bit of an outlier, because i dont relate her to me, i relate her to my mom, who fought with her relationship with my dad for years, getting in and out of it for her, my, and my siblings' sakes'. She seemingly also grappled with the idea of the Happy Family American Dream. I've written Bright Storm near the beginning of the books as being in that stage of confliction that my mom was when I was young (hopeful yet broken, and somewhat desperate), and over the arc she'll move on and recover just as my mom has, growing into herself and her confidence, and accepting she doesnt need Clear Sky, and doesnt have to forgive him for any reason, no matter how much he changes, because he still hurt her and her kit regardless. I see my own mother in her, so I'm really attached, there, too.

Basically what I'm saying is that while I feel really cringey about it, this series, especially DotC, has grown to be something I find a lot of connection to on a deeper level, and hold really close to me, especially in regards to how I Rewrite it. That's my confession.

.

[sparklingdemon]

hi, pkmn monochrome anon. im off for once, but unfortunately not on my main. hopefully that's cool with you.

honestly, im skeptical of the idea that hacker cody is nearly as bad cody said they were.

One of the most important things you learn in CBT is the distinction between feeling and thought and action. Hacker cody felt that the people around them were the reason they were depressed. But, Trainer Cody says multiple times that they knew better, and never elaborates if they actually hurt anyone.

Cody also demonstrably has issues with internalized ableism throughout pkmn monochrome. they demean themself over symptoms of depression they likely inherited from hacker cody even before it is weaponized against them. half of their internal conflict has to do with the fact that they cannot be expected to function on the same level as a player, and feeling shitty abaout it. they literally have a giant depression turtle that says "you should abandon cody because these problems make them an inherently worthless person undeserving of love".

so, it makes it ambiguous how much of cody's criticism of the hacker has to do with the hacker actually being an ass, and how much of it is actually just cody being incredibly harsh about their struggles. especially considered even before the players came in, cody was already being emotionally abused over these traits for 3 years.

literally the only criticism about hacker cody that holds any weight as intentionally cruel so far is their treatment of the protagonists. but considering the heavy allusions regarding how exactly they died, i don't think it could reasonably be expected of them to do the right thing in that situation. "yeah sorry you're about to kill yourself here's custody of two children. good luck i guess"

I really don't think its fair to compare them to the players intentionally abusing trainer Cody over the span of two years simply out of amusement despite having all the resources and support available to give them a good life.

now, is all of this certain? no. it's also worthy to note cody also has incentive to lie or refuse to elaborate on hacker cody's behavior considering how they've already been treated under the perception that they are completely unrelated.

i am admittedly worried that this does come across as somewhat infantilizing of hacker cody. i also feel like that was also partially the reason they were driven to this point in-universe. i think hacker cody was also sort of stuck between feeling like their problems weren't "that bad", when the problem wasn't "you're not trying hard enough to take care of yourself" but "you literally have a fucked up brain disease that wants to kill you".

im not denying hacker cody was a flawed person. nor am i trying to say that having shitty mental health is an absolvement of what you do. or reduce cody to just "they were sick lol".

but what we have of them is kind of just a capsule magnifying the worst of them. so much that i feel like they're defined more by their constant rumination. and i really don't think that it's fair to them.

there's more i want to write, but it kind of gets more personal from there. and i feel like i can't really articulate everything i want to say in a coherent and cohesive manner. sorry about that.

also ive already written like 13 paragraphs haha

tldr: hacker cody is a poor little meow meow imo

👀 once again i cannot comment on hacker cody without spoilers but this is very tasty thank u… very interesting points being made here. thank you for coming off of anon to share………

[ctrl-alt-cel]

top ten puppyshipping fics?

so thrilled about this ask...unfortunately i cant give you a list of puppyshipping top 10 without taking like 3 months to reread every joukai fic ive ever loved, but i can give you a handful that ive enjoyed recently!!

Second Chance Christmas by Elexcia (30k)

ex-husbands joey and kaiba are forced to spend the holidays together after 3 years of co-parenting and scrupulously avoiding each other. (atticus and alexis are their kids and its the cutest thing ever!!!!) theres a ton of adorable family shenanigans & how much joey and kaiba work together to ensure atticus and alexis have happy childhoods free from their own personal baggage, mixed with the most heartwrenching late-night conversations between joey and kaiba bc despite everything, they still love each other, but they remember the pain it brought them and don't know if they can endure that again. the emotions and uncertainties are so raw oftentimes i will remember a quote from this fic and my heart will ache all over again its so fcking good!!! its been on my mind ever since i read it!!!

Meeting upon the threshold by Alecto (2.6k)

"kaiba has always been his own worst enemy" -- dsod!kaiba's dimension hopping lands him in an alternate timeline and face-to-face with a version of himself he doesn't recognize. this will always be the quintessential puppyshipping fic to me omg.. the amount of characterization covered in the brief interactions the two kaibas have is spectacular, and its so cool seeing just how different dsod!kaiba's dimension is compared to a dimension where kaiba chooses jounouchi instead. hell yeah

Double Date by thegraeyone (7.2k)

GOD this fic is so funny. kaiba tries so hard to have one normal, business-related work dinner with pegasus, but pegasus is more interested in having a double date between kaiba and his boyfriend joey + pegasus with his boyfriend bandit keith, and like, what else can kaiba do? for the sake of his company, he needs to play along with the most disasterous dinner date of his life if he wants pegasus to sign a damn contract already..!!!! the comedic potential for this specific set of characters makes me lose my mind & theres so many sweet moments within the fic too. i love it so much

Most Thrilling by Alecto (1.8k)

another funny fic! a cute moment with joey visiting his boyfriend kaiba during a lunch break, and silly conversations on how kaiba really does play to win. i love the brand of slight unhinged-ness kaiba has here in regards to jou omg... kaiba is intense when it comes to everything, of course that would include his dating life😭 & i adore how he manages to come across as infuriatingly romantic in his own type of way

The Weight of Water by phant0m (2.2k)

a gentle character piece, jounouchi has just moved out from the apartment he shares with his father, and for all the newfound freedom it should entail, he feels guilty about it more than anything. thankfully his boyfriend kaiba is there to stand by him. it's a kind look into the more somber parts of jou's character and i love the scene it sets :( oh my god jou and kaiba love each other so much..!!! *dies*

Shards by jirluven (2.9k)

more hurt/comfort >:) jounouchi flinches. kaiba isn't supposed to know what it means, its one of the unbroachable topics of their close yet purposely ambiguous relationship, but they both know each other far too well for that. i really enjoy how kaiba's perspective is written, with how he's most comfortable when he's logic-ing things out and surrounded by things he can easily categorize, but hes long given up on trying to categorize jounouchi, and its most evident when pushing himself into the unfamiliar territory of tactfully trying to comfort someone he cares about

Debt to Society by Elexcia (16k)

tech acquisitions lawyer seto kaiba is sentenced to 200 hours of community service after a barfight with rival lawyer & long-time nuisance ziegfried von schroder. to meet those hours, he's assigned to represent children in court as their legal advocate with social worker joey wheeler acting as his supervisor >:) (also featuring judge yugi & the doma arc kids!!) i think this setup is genius omg. with kaiba acting as a protector for underrepresented and vulnerable kids, of course his own personal (and messy) feelings are going to get involved whether he likes it or not!!! plus i love fics where jou and kaiba are colleagues working towards the same goal and moments where kaiba has to trust in and respect joey's skills. and i cant lie. seeing a worldly joey who's good with kids is an absolute treat

Lapse by AndroideQL (4.2k)

blossoming workplace romance!! jou is kaiba's assistant (yes, everyone is surprised about this outcome too) jou & kaiba are undoubtedly attracted to each other, but theres a couple of (important!!) things about it that theyre not entirely on the same page about. the banter and familiarity jou and kaiba have with each other in this fic is sooo charmingly affectionate, and there are several exchanges that make me laugh every single time. its a refreshing and cute fic that has me hopeful knowing that no matter what communication issues they get up to, they'll eventually get their shit straight

Small and Insignificant Things by Lafae (1.6k)

one more for the office romance train >:) joey, kaiba, and the conundrum of getting a good picture for your photo ID. short and sweet boyfriend shennanigans, i love how joey & kaiba play off of each other during these mundane moments between their hectic schedules and i feel like it perfectly captures the excitement of a fresh relationship and fondly discovering the more trivial details about your partner

Working My Way Back to You by SerenaJones (10k)

during an argument between jou and kaiba, jou angrily states that he wishes they never met. kaiba soon finds himself in a universe where they never did, and meets a rougher, more abrasive jounouchi who never quit his gang who just may be the key to his way back. the worldbuilding in this fic is super cool and extensively fleshed out! its so fascinating to experience how different the cast of yugioh and domino city itself would have become if canon had played out differently, and the interactions between kaiba and a jounouchi who isn't his jounouchi but is just charming is so much fun

Orpheus and Eurydice by saiikavon (3.4k)

post-dsod joey dies while chasing kaiba into the afterlife, and by the title, you can probably imagine what kaiba has to do to get him back. very fun kaiba characterization/study here, with how quick and confident he is to challenge death itself and rebuff anything that gets in his way. and! a bit of spoilers but i love when jou gets to be a little mean (lovingly!!!!) to kaiba hehehe

[allthefoolishdreams]

hi! i hope you're well! for the ask game - 1, 10, 15, 18, 19, 21, 26 and 30? <33

(this is jeonghoneyss btw, i'm not sure if i mentioned before haha)

hi!! thank you, i am doing well, i hope you are as well!! <3

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

Something new I tried this year was non-linear narrative (in my minchan divorce fic), I've always loved non linear narratives since its an interesting way to tell a story. I think so far its turning out well! although it is based on a story so that did help make it easier. Either way, I would absolutely love to write more non linear narratives if I come up with an idea that it'll work best with

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

Honestly? I don't know! Out of the ones posted this year, I think maybe the superchan fic might have been my happiest to work on. I do know working on you are strange always makes me pretty happy as well (when i'm not hit with writer's block)

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023

I have only posted 4 fics this year and I know you have read 2 of them, so I'll just rec the other two: chansung fic (which is angsty and about commitment issues and complex feelings regarding relationships but i enjoyed writing) and this minchan fic (which is a bob's burgers au and just overall a silly and fun time)

18. What was the hardest fic to title?

without a doubt it was my spidey minlix fic, I just didn't know what to call it even when I had the first chapter completed already which is unusual for me because by the time ive written that much I have title ideas already. I'm not sure if you read the author's note but i did almost title it "spider-boy (king of thieves)" which is a taylor swift lyric because it fits far too perfectly but i decided to search it on ao3 and saw that a lot of the fics using that as a title were spider-man aus which made me scrap the idea so fast. I ended up scrolling through Black Cat and Spider-Man panels + looking up Black Cat quotes for inspiration and decided that i really liked the line ""You are strange, my love. I guess that's why I find you so irresistible." and shortened it because I thought the quote would be such a fitting line for minlix considering they are both strange (affectionate) <3

19. Share your favorite opening line

if I keep it to fics I posted this year, I think my favorite would be from my chansung fic: At a young age, Jisung learns just how easy it is to pack up your life and leave it all behind.

I feel like it fully captures the main vibe of the fic

Also, here's one for fics I've written this year and not posted. I'm cheating here by giving several lines but here's the opening for my jilix songwriting fic because I really like the opening paragraph:

The first time Jisung meets Felix, he’s struck by how gentle and kind he is.  He’s mesmerized by his voice, like everyone else is; the deep, smooth tone and accent. The clumsy way he stumbles over his Korean in a way that makes it obvious he’s still learning. And he’s especially mesmerized when he starts to show off his vocal abilities, the range he’s capable of. It’s something else entirely. Perhaps, more importantly, he’s mesmerized by his bright grin despite how prickly Jisung is towards him, which isn’t necessarily anything personal, he’s prickly towards everyone. Unlike the others though, Felix brushes it off and continues to ask questions like he doesn’t genuinely mind how closed off Jisung is; he's never annoyed or scared of him. All while offering him bright smiles each time they interact. And it’s a beautiful smile.

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

I can't think of any off the top of my head. I do think a lot of my favorite dialogue I've written is from you are strange, especially the minho and felix conversations when they're bantering in their respective alter egos, it's always so fun for me to write. Their dialogue in their civilian life is very good to me too, but I don't think I can choose a favorite. I also remember enjoying the group discussion from chapter one when they're discussing Spider-Man since it was so fun to write

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

I don't think I have any specific satisfying writing moment, but I guess seeing my word count on ao3 go up so much just within the year was pretty satisfying to me especially since like i mentioned i only posted 4 new fics

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

I'm not gonna lie, my goal is just to finish all of my wips. But I do want to write the batman!chan fic thats been brewing, I havent started since I know it'll become a monster of a fic and I'm trying to prioritize finishing my current superhero aus before starting a new one lol. which reminds me, I have Thoughts on other superchan side stories, other than the felix one so thats also on the list, so far nobody has pointed out the Minho (or Hyunjin) name drops in chapter one of superchan which goes along with my thoughts regarding the au. Another thing I want to write is that seunglix christmas fic I mentioned before, I'm thinking of writing it out in advance for next december

Also, not going to lie, all the descendants talk makes me want to dabble into fic for it but im not sure yet. We shall see!

(thanks for the ask <3)

[transhawks]

your last meta abt enji is very interesting and nuanced. i think its the closest one to what hori is trying to say that ive ever read. im one of those ppl that can relate to touya and dabis anger so i dont relate to whats going on with endeavor. like in the beginning his atonement felt to me like humiliating shoutos, reis and eventually dabis characters, and i still cant find myself caring for enji. but tbh so far theres no malice in the way hori writes it so lets see where it goes.

Thank you.

I just think there's a lot of resistance to the idea Touya might love/want his father. It's definitely not the... idea we had years back. The Dabi reveal(s) threw a lot of fanon out the window as to Touya's backstory and motivations and I think a lot of people have trouble moving past that too because it also means looking at Enji a little more.

But also, and I want to be clear - the vast majority of people opposed to Enjidemption and anything that goes with it are people who are abuse victims. That's why I respect that so many people are upset by this narrative. It upset me too. I have a very complex relationship with my own folks, and come from a culture with an enormous amount of mandated familial closeness (divine-ordered) and guilt/shame if you don't follow through on it, so I get the emphasis on ties with your parents being important no matter what that certain cultures like to impose. I understand wishing, wanting, some reassurance that our reactions to our abusers are fine - that we don't need to allow them back into our lives if we so choose.

But I also think it's important to note that the Todoroki family is complex! Not everyone has the same reaction to the abuse! I'm pretty sure if Natsuo hadn't been pressured by Fuyumi he might have cut off Enji completely!

Victims do not all think the same (which MHA does do well in showing), do not all want the same things, do not all have the same feelings in regards to their abusers. It kind of hurts when I see people take an extremely severe stance on this because as much as I can hate Endeavor-defending, a lot of time when it turns to criticizing Horikoshi's choices, it skews or nears hating on victims who choose to have contact with their abusers or complicated relationships with them despite admitting to the abuse. Or to those who, despite everything, still feel some love for their abusers (aware we are, that the love we get back is a conditional mimicry of the love we wanted). It goes into victim-blaming; "if you were strong and correct you'd cut contact and condemn them." or "if you really genuinely were abused you wouldn't still be there".

Again, I acknowledge that those of us who don't personally favor reconciling with abusive family have the short end of the stick when it comes to societal views. And there's nuance; some of us love our parents but cannot have them in our lives.

Abuse is complicated! Trauma makes for irrationality and inconsistency in thoughts and feelings, heck, just mere human existence does that too!

But yes, I don't think it's malicious on Horikoshi's part or him "misunderstanding" abuse as I've seen said for years on here. That charge never sat right with me given the consistent theme of child abuse, especially the focus on over-bearing patriarchal figures throughout this work and in Horikoshi's other works, I think we should also acknowledge all of that is coming not from Horikoshi misunderstanding abuse, but forming his own interpretation through likely his own experiences of it.

So, yeah. Shit's complicated and didn't go the way many of us hoped - but we can still sympathize with the anger at being rejected and discarded by a love one, even if we won't like the ending to this story.

Edit: I wrote this a few years back, but there's no shame in dropping BNHA if the Todoroki narrative and likely resolution are too triggering to you as a victim of child abuse or survivor of sexual assault. Take care of yourselves first.

[thesunsethour]

dia dhuit! i was wondering why you dont like leo varadkar? this is completely genuine, im a young irish person who knows very little about irish politics and would love to learn more, ive seen a lot of leo hate but im not sure where it comes from, and i respect your opinions on other things so i was hoping you would be willing to explain a little?? no worries if not, go raibh maith agat!! <333

dia dhuit! thanks for this ask, getting really annoying about politics is unfortunately one of my favourite hobbies 🙏

i’d like to start by saying that i am biased against varadkar since i lean left politically, and therefore have never voted fine gael and will never vote fine gael, because i don’t believe that their policies/promises/ideas are what’s best for ireland in the short or long term, and are often actively damaging.

leo varadkar has been the leader of fine gael since 2017, and his party has been in government since then. in that time:

• child homelessness in ireland has reached its highest ever recorded level

• he and his government ended the no-fault eviction ban during the worst housing crisis this country has ever seen

• our hospital systems reach breaking point every winter, and in 2022, 60% of newly trained doctors emigrated to Australia

• the mother and baby home records have been sealed for 30 years, against heavy protests from the victims and their families

and in terms of varadkar more personally, i just think he’s a very unpleasant politician:

• his ‘welfare cheats cheat us all’ campaign was hateful to its core, and incredibly ironic considering the dodgy accountancy going on in gov depts

• leaked confidential information of GP pay deals to a friend

• just google “tiny tim should get a job”

• is a landlord. enough said

i do want to stress that i vehemently disagree with some criticisms of varadkar, namely those coming from ireland’s far right wing. accusations against him include: that he has let immigration spiral out of control and ireland is full (this is fascist rhetoric used to justify the arson attacks against various asylum seeker accommodations), that he has let ‘trans ideology’ (whatever that is) dominate our schools (blatantly untrue. if anything, varadkar still has a long way to go before he is anywhere near as progressive as he should be regarding trans rights). lots of these far right wing criticisms are heightened against varadkar since he is of indian descent and openly gay.

in fact, i will give one (1) small bit of praise to varadkar: i thought he handled brexit okay. but apart from that? i can’t say much

fine gael have been in government for over a decade, and our most successful feats (gay marriage referendum, abortion referendum) have come as a result of grassroots campaigners. i do not think that fine gael, especially under varadkar’s leadership, has helped ireland. as a young adult trying to live in dublin, i feel the effects of the housing crisis every day. i feel the effects of our government’s apathy towards young people every day. this is leo varadkar’s government, and so yes i do blame him

[stemmmm]

i got back from a week long trip so now i've had plenty of time to ruminate on things and im finally ready to see what the fuck this guy has been trying to cook

episode 7 post

ep1 ep2 ep3 ep4 ep5+6

i think i saw a drawing of this guy earlier today except he had boobs

so lion's pretty obviously supposed to be the baby from 19 years ago, right.

ay ay aY AY AY

oh bah, the way it started out as just the last word in caps for a couple lines made me think dlanor was disguised as shannon or something but nah shes just like a robot or possessed for something.

i feel like ive been told explicitly 15 times that beato was the original beatrice's daughter who kinzo believed was her reincarnated, as if this is the first time im being given this information

damn bro you look hideous

alright so we're positing that original beatrice was enough of a fascist that she stuck to mussolini even after the rest of the country gave up? ok.

alright alright alright we're talking about whether the axis were cowards based on whether or not they surrendered and how alright.

REALLY FUNNY FOR THE V/O TO STILL BE FULLY JAPANESE WHEN HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SPEAKING ENGLISH. OH BUT "I CANNOT SPEAK ENGLISH" IS?

interesting that this beatrice is using the baby beato voice. I've been trying to get the logic of it, and the best I can figure is that its just... to differentiate? differentiate WHAT exactly, whether its between human beatrices or just the humans and the witch im not sure yet. but I miss her other voice :( the flashback we got of her earlier that I didn't mention also used this voice even though im fairly certain the original version didn't.

i get that its for plot contrivances because beatrice had to get here somehow but WHY on EARTH would someone bring their daughter on an armed military vessel in the middle of a massive war. also because i touched on it earlier i'd like to clarify, i get that the participants in war are not necessarily people who agree with any of it. and even then, your circumstances of birth and pressure from your family will put you in situations out of your control (given, thats what this whole thing has Been About). idk i dont want it to come across as i don't get what's going on or like im an idiot or something. i may also be a bit defensive because i haven't really enjoyed the reading process terribly much in a while and didn't appreciate some of the feedback i've gotten in regards to "just keep reading, you'll like it, youll understand" because i dont think its properly come across that i think i Do understand, im just squicked the fuck out by a lot of things in part 6 and so far haven't seen anything that would allegedly turn my opinion around that much. but there's still a lot left in this to go. im just. bored honestly.

REALLY funny how much "bice" comes off sounding like bitch. all my friends at home call me bitch

oh my god also hilarious. the golds in the submarine isnt it.

EVEN IF ITS A TOP SECRET BASE WHY THE FUCK DONT YOU HAVE A DOCTOR?

anybody else have to stop and hold their head for a minute every time wildly specific gun specs are listed for no reason whatsoever

anyways this fight over the gold is fun, i figured something was gonna have to happen that got everyone else off that island and left the gold, so this makes as much sense as anything. and feeling the drive to live despite it all after seeing genuine bloodshed for the first time is a little overdone but just fine.

*curb your enthusiasm theme starts playing* well at least he insisted on taking her to a doctor

ohhhhh we're confirming beato is really and for true kinzo's biological daughter *head in handssss*

PLEASE STOP PINCHING THIS MAN'S ASS!!!

oh my god, first acknowledgement that battler isn't here. i kinda figured since he's always been kinzo's mirror of sorts, he wasn't gonna be here because kinzo was alive. like there's no reason for that to be the case, but to me the logic felt sound. battler and kinzo haven't been in the same place at the same time, at least not in 1986. and it seems that will continue to be the case !!

STOP PINCHING EVERYONES ASSES

lion sucks, actually. wretched personality.

i was holding back on making a joke about how maria talks about beato the way christian billboards exclusively go on about how there's "evidence god exists" or whatever, but now she's reciting the bible word for word so i dont know what to do with my point but i have to share it now. i do like that her point seems to be that because maria doesn't have a father, she is jesus. good for you girl.

BEATOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and with the voice! ok so definitely that's the witch's voice.

alright this whole scenario can be argued as maria having an imaginary friend about it but if that piece of candy that beato told her to keep as a souvenir and not eat is still in maria's bag, magic is fucking Real.

also beato telling maria to practice basic hygene as her witch traini-- *has a jimmy neutron style brain blast and remembers the 1 (one) shinto shrine i've visited* OH, NO THIS IS A SHINTO THING. OK HELL YEAH. more of beato the "western" witch using japanese magics. i see i see i see.

fellas i may just like witch beato

[natsmagi]

hello !! yet another different anon, but just wanted to share this while we’re on the topic of self-criticism - hopefully this doesn’t come off as patronizing, it’s just smth i’ve found helps me as an artist and hopefully it’ll help u :D

i think it’s rlly important to view old art more from the perspective of the feelings u had making it rather than the actual content of the art itself. sure, ur artistic skills have improved a lot over the years, and maybe when ur looking back at ur older work u see a lot of flaws in it - weird anatomy, bad lighting, articles of clothing that don’t make sense, etc (not saying ur old art has any of these i’m just listing examples i’ve had in my own lol) - but u had fun making it !! it’s a drawing of something u loved and still love, and it served its purpose as an outlet to express that love. when people go back and like those old drawings, they’re not seeing it for its flaws - they’re seeing it for the love it represents, a love they probably feel themselves. while it’s good to critique ur own work to some extent for the sake of improvement, people liking ur old stuff is far from cringe-worthy! it’s just someone enjoying something u once enjoyed too, like an internet happiness hand-me-down :)

again, this sort of mindset has rlly helped me personally - i don’t feel as nervous about drawing or posting, bc im just having fun !! it’s ok if it’s kind of janky or has weird details, it was made with love and people can see and appreciate that. nobody ever stops improving or seeing flaws in their work, so its best to focus more on the joy it gave u and push urself towards improvement with the promise of even more joy rather than forcing urself to improve under the threat of feeling ashamed of ur creations

hopefully all of this makes sense i kind of have the shakes rn lol. sorry for the super long ask, i just dont rlly know how to explain all of this in a short way-

hope u are having a fantastic day full of pretty girls !!!!

omg no worries at all!! your message read as very sweet so please dont stress urself out over how u came across!!

AND I DEFINITELY AGREE!! tbh its a mindset i tend to have, but i think where ive lacked is definitely in applying the "im just doing it for fun" logic to past me. i tend to be someone who very much lives in the present and have a bit of a disconnect both from the past and the future, and this can cause me to totally disregard everything about my past self and past work LOL. so honestly having all this put into words has kinda been an "OHH RIGHT" moment for me KASJHFJAHSDKJ

theres also the factor of my audience being bigger now........ im not really someone who likes having alot of eyes on me for various reasons, which sometimes causes me to waver a bit AKJSHFKJH THOUGH ITS NOT THAT BAD. i think most of my shyness comes from having artists i really admire now see my art and im like "FUCK IC ANT HAVE IT LOOK BAD WHAT IF THEY SEE" which can cause me to overthink things But also i tend to forget that those people even follow me 80% of the time. tbh all of my "insecurities" in regards to my art are purely circumstantial and only really present themselves if im in a flustered state, but a large portion of the time im just chilling KJAHSFJKHK

i do also wanna say tho that i think the viewing all art as coming from a place of love sentiment is very sweet........ esp bc in the beginning one of the compliments i got the most was along the lines of "your love for the characters really shines through!!" so to think that, in spite of potential quality, that love is still visibly present makes me very happy.......... Perhaps if u have genuine love for what u do itll shine through no matter what

[djuvlipen]

hey im sorry if youve already answered this and i just didnt see or understand, but ive been wanting to ask this for awhile. im from romania and growing up i hung out w roma ppl who rly didnt care abt the terminology, we called them țigani, they called themselves țigani. over the years i have seen many roma ppl from here who think the push to be called roma instead of țigan is ridiculous/doesnt help/performative/annoying/its a upper class thing. most also reffer to the language that they speak as țigăneşte, and this is the terminology that we use too. however, there is also the side which says that it is an offensive word and that they would rather be called roma. i guess what im asking is, in your opinion, is the word ţigan inherently a slur? and, another thing, is the word țigan and gypsy (which i know theres also the same discourse in romania abt) the same thing? thank u and sorry again if u explained before

Hi anon!

Regarding the word țigan (or, to be honest, anything that has to do with terminology) we have to remember that there are a lot of Romani groups different from each other when it comes to history, dialects, customs, etc. So one group of Romani people may be comfortable with țigan, or with gypsy, but not other groups

Personally, all the Roma from Romania that I have met consider it a slur. All the Romanian Romani organizations that I know of consider it a slur, and the translation of the word țigan in German, "zigeuner", is unequivocally a slur. That's why I would consider "țigan" a slur, however, if your local Romani communities don't consider it a slur and are using it and are okay with you using it, then I won't speak over them, they know better than me how it's like living in Romania so I won't contradict them.

It can be a big intra-community discourse, however the general tendency nowadays is to consider cigan and variants of the term a slur, at least that's been my experience, that's been the experience of all the Roma I have met so far, and that's what I've seen from Romani organizations. But there are some Romani groups that disagree with that, and I respect that

I really get what you mean about it being somewhat ridiculous, performative, pointless and a privileged conversation. I often feel like that too, because often times on the internet and in mainstream politics, people will focus on what's the correct language to use, instead of discussing more pressing issues (i'm thinking about stuff like housing and access to healthcare, for example). That's why I try not to discourse too much about language and focus more on those other issues, though I do think it's good to remind people that the words they are using are sometimes, at best, derogatory, otherwise they'll get too bold and start insulting you...

tl;dr, I don't really think of this issue in terms of 'is it inherently a slur', for me it's more about supporting what the general Romani opinion is, and from what I've experienced, the general Romani opinion is that it's a slur, however I won't fight the Roma who disagree because they are entitled to their own opinion

And as for your last question, "are țigan and gypsy the same", the answer is no, not really. Words always carry different connotations when used in a different language. It's even more blatant in this case, because even though gypsy is used to translate țigan, "gypsy" comes from the word "Egyptian" while "țigani" comes from the Greek word "athinganoi". When people say gypsy translates to țigan, it's because this word is the closest equivalence in the targeted language, it's not a direct translation the way "zigeuner" directly translates to "țigan"

I hope this helps and that my explanation makes sense!

[pleasantspark]

Howdy! Im real sorry to bother you and like, feel free to ignore this or delete it if you want, but i wanted to ask somthing? I was super interested in your tf safe haven server and i don't consider myself a proshipper at ALL (and im fairly argumentative against proshippers which has gotten me on a few blocklists over the years) but i saw that you count blitzbee as a proship and i wanted to ask about that? Idk, ive seen some people say they think bee is a kid, but i just always saw him as a young adult, hsving gone through bootcamp and having a job and all that. Of course, you may mean it as in the agegap in general which i can also see being pretty uncomfortable for some. Again, i dont want to like, force you to talk sbout this and im certainly not arguing with you, i just want to know what your thoughts on this were? I think your serve sounds super cool though, even if i cant join, and im really sorry it got the initial reaction it got from proshippers.

In all honesty I don't feel comfortable as most instances of Bumblebee have him as the kid of the group a "young" scout. Besides the relationship can be quite abusive imo. Which is kind of problematic and quite triggering for me to have in my server. I've been in countless abusive relationships where the dynamic was overbalanced because the other party had a unfair advantage and I couldn't consent with my mental illness'

View this as such. Would technically BlitzBee be an appropriate ship if the two of them were older and Blitz was a autobot? Numerous times you see Bumblebee and Blitzwings relationship in the show as hostile and not friendly. The same with MegaScream (Which is why I stopped updating my MegaScream fanfiction because it was starting to make me uncomfortable.)

Do I hate proshippers and wish desth on them? No. Do I think their unpleasant to be around? Yes. But just because I don't enjoy them being on my page mean I'm an anti. I have the right to deny people access to my tumblr and server. People have no filter when it comes to my trauma.

Which brings us back to my point. If you see every other instance of Bee in the media (Minus the Bayverse and Knightverse cause it SUCKS) hes regarded as the child and youngest member of the Autobots as seen in G1, and Animated.

Although the other ones are up in the air, but mostly speaking, the huge problem all and all isn't because of the ship it's the way people portray Bee as.

They portray him as an uwu softie little boy and Blitzwing as the big bad OMG I CAN FIX him sort of deal. The issue ot brings is that Bee is portrayed as weak as a little kid which is wildly problematic and doesn't help anyone's case. Bee doesn't need anyone and should instead focus on what he needs to do as Blitzwing holds far more power over him (I Headcanon Bee as Autistic and ADHD coded). It's all my opinion and the haven server is literally dead so no point in joining anyways.

[rottytops]

so i finally, finally finally after like 3.5 years of talking about doing it, finally had my appointment for adhd and..it went really well. it was super easy to talk about my symptoms and the doctor was really nice and understanding too. i have another appointment with a psychologist and then one final doctor's visit where ill get medicated around may...its a lot longer than i would like it to be but in the grand scheme of things its like, in a few weeks ill finally have this awful experience of living with adhd put behind me

but like

i feel soooooooooooooo shitty

i think because the actual process was so quick and painless and easy it only took me like maybe an hour or even less than that for the whole visit but it took me OVER THREE YEARS to actually schedule the appointment. im so frustrated because the last few years have been some of the worst in my life where ive been so depressed and desponend and listless because i just. was unable to create anything. adhd has taken so much from me even before i was freelancing, its what fucked me up in school and nuked my experience in college. ive had these problems for so long and there's always been one root cause and all it took to deal with it was a one hour doctors appointment???

i guess im just upset because. if like, any adult in my life took me aside and asked me what was going on they probably could have figured out i had adhd really quickly, but no one ever did that, my parents just called me lazy and stupid and everyone else just assumed i was a slacker. if even one person really tried i could have done all of this years ago and not had to have suffered some of my worst experiences ever over my inability to focus!

i remember calling my mom in tears saying i think i have adhd i think thats why everything is happening the way it did, and she was like "...okay" and did nothing, and then, years later when i tell her yeah i got the appointment everythings in place she was like "pog!!! im so proud of you i knew you could do it yourself. whenever my kids come to me with a problem i just let them handle it alone because theyre so smart xD"

and itslike. do you have any idea how BADLY i would have killed for any sort of help AT ALL. if someone had sat with me and just helped me make the doctors appointment i could have been over this years ago!!!

aaaaa!!! but i cant just act like i did this 100% by myself, i had a lot of friends emphasize with me and tell me about adhd so i could make sure i knew i had it, and a friend gave me the clinic i could go to for screening and another friend told me the effects pills would have on me, etc, ect. ive had a lot of help from people in my life,but in regards to my family they either didnt do shit or punished me for my condition. it makes me so upset to think about

BUT

the worst of it is over, i did the hardest part myself, theres no point in gettng all torn up abt the past all i can really do is look forward to may where i can actually live my life witha functioning fucking brain holy shit. i guess i can get excited for that in spite of everything

if u read this far have a kiss. mwah

[gg-selvish]

ive never really had the chance to flesh it out in writing as much as i'd like to but something i think about a lot in terms of the streamers we watch especially in the time we've been in for a bit is the transition from online to irl when it comes to established companionship

i'm speaking as someone with a good amount of personal experience in meeting significant others and friends who started out as online companions either for weeks, months, or years, and though the longer you go keeping it online while wanting to breach into real life it gets more intense, the initial feeling of meeting is relatively similar.

it's kind of like hearing someone through a door, you know their voice and it brings you a feeling of comfort and home. with your eyes shut you recognize them instantly, but there's space and an obstacle between you two that means you can do anything you could ever imagine to do together except for touch. over time this can become maddening, months stretching into years where you're bumping into this hard wood barrier trying to get to the person who you know and adore like the back of your hand

and then you get through the door and it's kind of strange. the first hug and words you hear your brain understands that you're home and safe and with your companion, but then you pull away and are faced with the one you love in another level of reality. you can touch, taste, reach out and graze their cheek, and the gravity of that reality is so intense it takes however far you've gone with your relationship and brings you back to square fucking one.

it's fascinating to me. going from deep personal conversations that you wouldn't dare share with anyone else, intimate moments together that were sacred as communion, years and years of finding comfort and utter serenity wrapped in this far away voice and then they're a human being standing in front of you. and the newfound ability to touch and be touched is so overwhelmingly insanely exciting to your puny person brain receptors that you turn into a second grader with their crush on the playground

in my old days on tumblr and maybe still but i wouldn't know, it was incredible common to film the first meeting with your online partner regardless of how popular your blog was. because it wasnt about the people meeting it was about the meeting itself. watching two unsteady people who know each other so intimately and deeply stumble together like newborn deer, trembling as they take each other's hands, and sharing a chaste kiss that could break the earth in two. because though that physical moment is light and easily breakable, there's the weight of years of love behind it

i'm not sure where i'm going with this, i guess i just think its really beautiful watching established people in established dynamics experience each other like something new for the first time. to drop the weight of waiting for intimacy and finally being united as a real thing together. it's so beautiful and special. i really like that we get to witness it as an audience but also as trusted friends in a regard

in this vein, a while ago i turned the dnf pre-meetup era of 'waiting is painful' into a brainrot that's kind of similar to this concept but a bit more purple if you'd like to read it. or not, i'm just talking here :p

[galene-gothic]

౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 𝑫𝒖𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒉𝒓𝒂 & 𝑫𝒊𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒊 𝒔𝒂𝒍𝒆 (CLOSED)

𐙚 Hello snowies, welcome to the biggest sale of the year. This year I will not be celebrating festivals due to my aunt’s passing but every bit of money that I earn will go in for my basic needs and my university next year or the year after that. Every like and reblog is much appreciated. Also, if I happen to launch more readings and intend to put them up for sale, I’ll list them here. Thank you, much love and XOXO.

information

i) i accept payments through paypal, western union and moneygram

ii) payment is supposed to be made before i start your reading

iii) your reading will be returned in first come, first serve basis. readings are returned anywhere within one and a half months to two months

iv) i'll pull as many cards as i have to, to get to the depth of things

v) readings will be sent through e-mail

𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒆𝒕 for 49 € (originally for 70 €)

it is only natural to have curiosity for the year that is going to greet us and as we embark on this tarot reading together, we will take a look at what is awaiting you in 2025. purchasing this option will help shed light on the mysterious and unknowable future. let me take out the tarot deck and lay out some cards for you and see what the mysterious future holds for you. we will also get advice for you which will make you think deeply about the previous year and life so far in general which will in turn help you set the tone for the year !! what you should focus on, what you’ve accumulated and learned over the course of your lifetime, how this year will add onto that and what attitudes you should try to maintain will all be looked into deeply.

𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆 for 35 € (originally for 50 €) (now improved and longer)

an extremely in-depth future spouse reading which includes their appearance, style, music style, personality, mental well-being, interests and hobbies, shadow aspects, energy, love languages, trope, background, meeting them for the first time, first impressions. here, we'll also take a look at why you'll fall in love with them and the other way around, the day of your marriage, how they'll describe you to others and also what it is about you that will repulse them but make you irresistible to them at the same time. we'll also take a look at your individual journeys to each other and how they'll show jealousy. we'll take a really deep dive into the spiritual aspect of your connection, how you'll connect on a soul level, why the both of you will meet and end up together. then finally, to conclude the reading, we'll look at your marriage through the years and general messages about you as a couple!

𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒆'𝒔 𝒐𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 for 35 € (originally for 49 €)

an extremely in-depth future spouse reading which includes their appearance, style, music style, personality, mental well-being, interests and hobbies, shadow aspects, energy, love languages, trope, background, meeting them for the first time, first impressions and general messages about you as a couple! some messages from the universe regarding your love life, advice that can help you attract love into your life, a walk through your first love/heartbreak, messages from your ideal person and a peek at why people fall in love with you + who crushes on you!

𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒂'𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 for 35 € (originally for 47 €)

most of our lives are spent by trying to understand ourselves, realizing that we aren't as evolved as we thought we were, self loath, pity and misunderstandings are a very common theme when it comes to ourselves. by purchasing this option, you will receive messages from both your inner child and future self, guidance on your path and some advice for self love, why people feel grateful to have you in their lives, the way you touch their hearts and alter their lives, a small reading that brings out your inner magic and information on how to become your best version and traits that you need to face and should work on.

𝒍𝒖𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆 for 29 € (originally for 34 €)

this tarot reading is going to flatter you a great deal! let us take a look at the type of beauty you possess and what features stand out the most to others. we shall delve into the types of compliments people make about you when you're not around and how your beauty affects your life. additionally, we shall take a look at who is crushing on you at present and the reasons why. we shall also assess what makes you so irresistible and captivating, so prepare for a bit of self-praise and fawning in this reading!

��𝒗𝒂𝒏 for 29 € (originally for 34 €)

this tarot reading will aim to unveil the deepest calling of your soul, that which is etched into the very fabric of your being. we will explore how you are currently responding to this calling and delve into any obstacles or blocks preventing you from fully embracing it. in this illuminating process, we will also discuss strategies and tools to overcome these barriers and discover how you can honour your soul’s purpose in the present moment. lastly, we will tap into the wisdom of your spirit guides and the cosmos, drawing on their loving guidance and messages to offer you clarity and encouragement.

𝒄𝒐𝒆𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒔 for 29 € (originally for 36 €)

in this profound tarot spread, we will embark on a poetic journey through the stages of your connection with your future spouse. to start, we will unveil the sweet aspects of your bond - the moments that will bring you ease and comfort, like a delightful dessert that melts on your palate. then, we will navigate the challenging aspects - the parts that may bring a hint of bitterness or sourness, like a tart that tests your resolve. we will then pinpoint the taste bud - the particular aspect of your connection that will capture your attention, the flavor that will linger on your tongue, the particular aspects of your connection that you will be most keenly aware of, the element that will be most prominent in your mind and heart. to conclude, we will focus our attention on the digestive aspect of your connection with your future spouse - the part that, although not immediately apparent, will have a lasting impact over time. this element may unfold gradually, taking its time to reveal its significance, similar to how a complex dish affects your system in ways that might not be immediately obvious. it will be an aspect of your connection that will require patience and keen observation to recognize its influence and importance.

𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒆 𝒍'𝒐𝒎𝒃𝒓𝒆 for 29 € (originally for 32 €)

this in-depth tarot reading delves into the depths of your being, peering into the shadows and unearthing the hidden layers that make up your dark side. we will unearth the triggers that prompt you to flip into a state of power and fear, and explore the reasons why others may be intimidated by you. together, we will uncover the secret behind your formidable power - a truth that you carefully keep hidden. we will also unveil the ambitions that fuel your decisions and actions and shed light on the legacy you are destined to leave behind.

𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒓 for 29 € (originally for 36 €)

do you have someone that you’re really interested in at this time. this specific person tarot reading! is exactly what you need ! we will dive deep into who the person you're inquiring about really is, what they think about you and how they feel, why did you meet them, why do you feel connected to them, what you can learn from them, and where the connection is most likely to end up. we will also take a look at what goes through their mind when they see you and the fragrance that you’ll leave in their life, regardless of whether the connection is bound to last or not.

𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒍'𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒓 for 29 € (originally for 34 €)

in this exploration of the arcane, we shall embark upon an illuminating journey of destiny, as we unveil your future spouse's perception of your allure. further, we shall venture into the uncharted territories of your intimate connection, encompassing the inaugural union of your bodies, the peculiarities of your partner's sexual proclivities, and the myriad methods by which they shall leave you consumed with desire. now, allow the occult to unveil the seductive secrets of your impending relationship

[seafoamrogue]

I wish my brain didn't struggle so hard with internalizing love from my friends. And I wish I'd had better understanding of ADHD as a kid, and how it impacted me then, especially regarding how much I struggled to maintain friendships, because now I feel like the two are related.

I know I've got a lot of feelings, and I feel them very strongly and outwardly, for better or for worse. I don't usually think it's a bad thing, I feel like it's part of what makes me, me. But Ive also lost track of the number of friends or acquaintances who've gotten fed up with that energy over the years, and even my step mom telling me I come off "pretty strong" and recommended I toned it down, one time when I tried to bond with her by telling her about a crush I had. (In hindsight it was pretty fucked for her to say that to me, at the time I just took it)

So I think part of me expects that at some point I'll get on the nerves of even people who love me.

My best friend literally sends me gifts and love notes all the time, and just asked me to be her MOH, for goodness sake you'd think I could stop worrying that she's just humoring me or that I don't actually mean that much to her.

I know that that's not true, I know she loves me, and writing out my inner anxieties really brings to light just how far removed from reality they are.

I should probably work on finding a therapist again, and I've had several in the past for short periods of time, but I think I just put together that I get anxiety about therapy and either feel like I don't have anything "wrong enough" to take up their time, or my brain panics and can't think of what to talk about in the moment. Wow I'm a disaster ☠️

Okay, I think it's officially time for bed now. Gonna look for therapists in the morning.

[glitchdollmemoria]

big long diary esque ramble about jewish conversion below the cut bc mmmm the paragraphs

its sinking in that now that im finally settling into a synagogue i feel comfortable in, im gonna have a community i can celebrate the holidays with, and i can actually learn firsthand how to celebrate them... really fucking exciting

i dont know when ill be able to actually officially start the conversion process, both because im flat broke and idk how much everything would cost AND bc this synagogue is still looking for an official rabbi rather than guest speakers (transitional period since the last rabbi moved away), but in the meantime i feel like im very quickly being taken under the congregations collective wing yknow? so im excited to start celebrating jewish holidays with other people who know what theyre doing rather than having to cobble together what i can while i sit in my apartment lmao

overall im really really happy to finally be attending. its been way too long since ive been able to regularly attend a congregation. and this one is a conservative synagogue, and ive only ever attended reform synagogues before. the one i went to back in my old town was great, i adored the people there and the way we worshipped and everything was so comfortable, it was absolutely where i needed to be during that time. but based on my research and my experiences so far, im fairly confident conservative is the movement for me. this synagogue is definitely where im meant to be now, and my thoughts are basically... while my partner and i do have a plan on where we want to live someday, thats still years down the line most likely, bc im poor and hes in college, so im HOPING that this synagogue will be the one i attend throughout my conversion. i mean id be fine with starting here and having to transfer rabbis later but im mostly hoping ill be finished up before that time comes

theres something very familiar about this congregation. something in the grain of the wood, and in the worn out books of the library. its comfortable and welcoming and it tells me this is where im supposed to be, at least right now.

also - i keep thinking back to when i attended the reform synagogue in this city. the service itself was great, but i didnt really feel like i fit in with the others, especially the people my age. one of the other 20-somethings said that the people at the conservative synagogue were all "boomers" or smth who were unaccepting in some way or another, and idk if she had her own bad experience here which i really wouldnt want to brush off, but so far everyone has been very kind. i was immediately welcomed once i explained that im wanting to convert, multiple people went out of their way to help me and invite me to stay longer and attend more events. i was immediately regarded as a man, and maybe that was because i was wearing a suit and my voice is deep from hrt but it was still very reassuring either way - an older man told me very firmly to put on a kippah and while i joked with my friends that i felt like a kid being lightly chastised, it was still a really nice feeling to not only be seen as a man but to have someone insist on me following that custom.

and then afterward, over lunch, i was chatting with the other congregants and ended up talking about my partner, and referred to it with multiple pronoun sets and explained that it uses any pronouns. nobody was rude at all about that fact, and one man was clearly a little confused by me switching around words and pronouns but was very very obviously doing his best to be respectful and understand as best as he could. he said he was working on understanding these things better for his kids iirc.

overall i feel like this synagogue is a safe place for both myself AND my partner, should it ever visit and want to attend with me. yes, most of the people here are elderly, but everyone was friendly and so far people have been respectful when it comes to queerness and conversion. id say the worst thing i heard someone say was a small dig at reform judaism, but even then, another member was quick to shut him down.

it frustrates me a little to think that the people here might be getting labeled as intolerant in one way or another if thats not really the case, if its just because theyre older. again, i dont want to brush off any bad experiences someone else mightve had, but i also worry that there might be some preconceived notions at play here, yknow? but i guess in the end theres not much use dwelling on it. im just happy to feel at home in a congregation again, and to feel like im back on track making more progress toward my conversion. im glad to be meeting all these people and finding my place in a community instead of feeling so isolated so much of the time.