#and i feel like im just hiding deeper and deeper inside myself

[resonabilis-echo]

.

[kosije]

c/w ★ ׂ duke!miguel x fem!afab reader. smut. all smut. miguel tries to exercise restraint. spoiler alert: he fails. sins in silk extra <3

duke!miguel o'hara: who enjoys taking you in the most compromising of places.

he'll fuck you in the garden, behind the tall bushes of flowers taunting you on how loud you're getting.

"oh princess, i don't think it would fool anyone if they heard the flowers calling my name. if you can't bite your tongue, even the k-kingdom next door will hear of this."

"heavens," he groans. "i bet you'd like that, huh? want everyone to know how you have the best fucking cunt, yeah?" he all but moans into the back of your neck. "too bad it's all for me."

he'll excuse himself from the table just to eat you out inside the kitchen storage room, away from your father, his colleagues, and the cooks.

messily making out with your puffy pussy, moaning into your mound when your hand pulls on his hair. "m' baby needs 't don't she?" he slurs like a drunk man. his large hands wrap around, digging into the meat of your thighs only to pull himself in deeper. you're having trouble keeping your voice down, but thankfully the kitchen is a mess of noise and masks your low mewls and his groans completely.

he sneaks back to the table while you to your chambers, but you don't miss his cheeky "oh, im afraid i've already eaten dessert."

his favorite place, however, is the place he took you for the first time. he takes his time in those moments. working you up, till you almost break, then taking you apart only to put you back together over and over again.

slowly licks up your neck, with your legs fold in front of you, he pistons himself in and out of you. your antsy hands drop from your thighs to his back, up to his neck, and down into the sheets, crying out at how deep he fucks you—at how much you can see how he's been needing you. how he's been missing you.

it's in the way he kisses and worships your body, the way he whimpers whenever he's inside you, how he looks at you, even while around so many people at your father's party. how big they got when they saw you, how wrinkled the sides were when he smiled. in the way he holds you after he's fucked you—tight and warm. how he nuzzles into your neck, kissing your shoulder, completely flush to you.

but you're no better. calling out for him whenever you touch yourself, wearing his favorite color every time he comes around, with matching panties. how you wrap your hands over his arms, kissing the meat of them. how you hide little gifts, sonnets you've worked, sweets you've baked, intimates you've worn. and the way when he writes you back, "thanking you," you feel like you could die.

it's easy to secretly write about him. gush to yourself about your scandalous love with "mr. frown," you write for hours. tuck them safely into the hole inside your closet that you made when you were younger. you write all the days you don't see him, and when you do you always have to mention something from them.

"i wish time would stop when we are together, so we can see what forever feels like."

"i need you more and more every time we part. you take a piece of me with you i desperately need back. that spins and leaps inside of you when you see him again.

"if only you'd stay tonight, then my room wouldn't feel so empty."

when you tell him this, with that sparkly look in your eyes, he pauses. looking you over.

"it won't be good for us, princess."

"why is that?"

"i won't—i won't be able to control myself, just not safe for us."

"you don't know that," you all but plead. "you have to at least be curious, of what can happen if we try?"

he understands what you're referring to because those same thoughts bounce around his mind whenever he's alone, missing you. those pestering "what if's," that keep him up, keep him wondering. the ones that eat at his resolve.

so even though it's risky, and is no good for him at all, he sinks back into your bed. kisses the back of your neck, nosing your baby hairs, and whispers a weak, "i can never say no to you"

and for a night, you two don't have to spend it missing something.

[caraphernellie]

hiiii!! I saw a really good fanfic of yours about Ellie finding out that the reader has praise kink and I was wondering if you could do one where Ellie finds out about the shy reader having degradation kink. anyway, thank you <3

find the og drabble here... but omg ur mind… im sighing dreamily right now… warnings for degradation and slight humiliation obviously. she's going to be a lil mean. this is really short um... yea. this was a nightmare bc i couldn't figure out how to finish it without it seeming really abrupt tbh. and i took the pic for visual ref btw xxx

"oh, no."

ellie moves beside you, free hand grappling with you for the pillow you're using to cover your face. she reigns victorious in the small battle, ditching the pillow somewhere off the bed. she shushes you with haste, lying beside you. her other hand is working her fingers into your pussy, the digits curling with each flick of her wrist.

"i said there'd be no more of that, what happened to being a good girl?" ellie coos, looking down at you now. she's leaning over you, making sure to invade your space, leave no room for you to hide or look away. "are you gonna listen to me?"

as much as ellie feels bad for you always trying to hide, somewhere inside her really, really loves the shyness. being able to tease and make you feel helpless just with some eye contact, boring into you as unfalteringly as her fingers are.

"can't talk to me? is it because you're too dumb to form any words or you just don't want to?" 

"oh," you gasp and try to cover your face once more, this time with your hands, until ellie stops you. between soft moans you barely manage to whisper, "that was mean."

"mm," ellie agrees, "but let's not pretend you aren't moaning about it like a whore, yeah?" you're letting out the sweetest sounds she's ever heard, and to add more insult to her words she curls her fingers deeper into you, pressing up against your inner walls. she thought the praise kink was fairly discernible for you to have, but she just called you dumb and you're gushing over it. the reaction it's garnering is even greater than that of her praises, and all she can do now is smile cruelly and continue to degrade you.

ellie continues pumping her fingers in and out of your wrecked pussy, eliciting more and more of those whimpers, and glaring down at you. you try to close your legs, muscles tensing, and yet you're stopped by ellie once again. she moves her leg over yours, pinning you so you're splayed out for her.

"you're- e-embarrassing me," you whine, spluttering all kinds of pleas despite there being the tiniest semblance of a blissful smile on your dry lips, half-lidded eyes fluttering.

to that, ellie fucking laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. "you think you're such a good liar. you sound pathetic, babe, can't focus on anything, can you?"

she's toying with you to the point where she's right. you're lightheaded, unable to do anything but squirm and rut against her hand, every word she utters another trigger that stirs the butterflies in your stomach.

"didn't know i had such a filthy slut all to myself."

masterlist <3

[shnarky-blogs]

𝙾𝙷 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶-

ˢᶜᵃʳ ˣ ᶠᵗᵐ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚈: 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚓𝚘𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚋𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚗 𝚊ñ𝚍 𝚔𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚘𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛.. 𝚂𝚘 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚡 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍!

ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵗᵃᵏⁱⁿᵍ ʳᵒᵛᵉʳ’ˢ ᵖˡᵃᶜᵉ ʰᵉʳᵉ

(there may be mistakes because i literally skipped everytime the NPCs talk.. im too lazy to listen to them talking OKAY?!)

Hours ago you stumbled upon Scar.. again! He just wont stop asking begging you to join his organization, and you don't think he'd stop soon.

Scar was slowly getting frustrated of you declining or saying no everytime he asks you out.. its stressing him out reeeaaall bad.

Like why wont you join him? He's strong! He's cool? Like why?

He got so pent up on that shitty word 'No', its ticking him off badly, its like he just wanna destroy that word coming out from those beautiful lips of yours..

So he plans on changing that mind of your for good..

Be kidnapped you right from thay spot, knocking you out and took you somewhere you're unfamiliar with.

You later woke up to see yourself wrists tied up at the back, you scanned the surroundings and noticed Scar was now Infront of you.. smirking.

"Well, well, well"

He spoke out, voice ringing through the silence.

"It seems you're awake now my dear~"

He knelt down to your height, that devious smirk still present on that face of his.

"You know why you're Here sweetheart?"

You sat quiet, staring at him with genuine confusion.

"Well.. i had enough of that shitty.. word i wouldn't even dare say it myself.. sooooo im here to help!"

He smiles, teeth showing as he flashes you a playful smirk.

"And how?.."

You replied, unfaze.

His smile widens.

"Let. me. Show. You"

Suddenly he playfully unzips your zipper, pulling your pants down.. your eyes widen in shock at his boldness, soon your pants and boxers were stripped off of you, leaving you bare to the elements of the outside.

You tried to hide your cunt by closing your legs, only to be roughly spread apart by Scar himself, you can clearly tell he's growing impatient, his eyes bore through you like an animal that finally caught his prey.

Just from his eyes, he's already devouring your bare form, his cock already hard inside his pants as he scanned more closely at your beautiful skin, your boy cunt dripping between your legs.. it was.. God it was so hard to make it up in words but- it looks so fucking tasty.

He began playing with your folds, making sure to get it all wet for him to slide in later, Your face scrunched up due to his rough fingers slide between your delicate folds causing your hips to jerk forward.

His touch teasing and torturous, despite you trying to control yourself, your own body seems to betray you due to the pleasure you are feeling.

Soon he slides his fingers in, you boy pussy already wet from that rubbing and teasing, he couldn't help but smirk at your reactions.. so cute and adorable to look at.

But.. he needed more from that..

He grows impatient again, but he needed to stretch you out nicely.. he wouldn't want to hurt his cute darling, right?

Once he thinks you're loose enough he pulled his finger out your weeping boy pussy and replaced it with his cock, he made sure to be gentle, he could barely hear your sweet moans as his cock thrust in so gently.

He nuzzled up his cock in your warmth, and dear lords.. it felt so great having you wrapped around his cock.

His hips slowly began to move, finding rhythm in his thrust.

He moved slowly at first, pulling out beautiful moans from your beautiful lips.

His thrust grew faster as time goes on, his hand locked in a vice grip on your hips, making sure you wouldnt escape from his grasp.

Little cries fills the air as he pounds deeper, your poor cervix getting abused by his tip constantly thrusting in and out of your already sensitive boy pussy.

"Hah.. i bet this'll change that mind of yours sweetie~"

He chuckled out breathlessly.

"being such.. such a-a good boy for me.. yeh? Such a sweet boy taking daddy's cock.."

He growls softly, slowly loosing his mind from the pleasure.

Your face contorts into on in pleasure, tears swelled up in your eyes as you begged for him to either stop or go faster.. you just couldn't think straight anymore with that cock pistoning in and out of you like that, your mind tells you to stop but your body tells you the opposite.

The look on your face is so darn cute and he swears on mentally remembering every detail of that face of yours..

He thrust went faster, his hips stutter and it was clear he's close to cumming.

"N-no.. please.."

You were sadly too late, he came in you.. filling your pretty womb full of his cum..

But despite cumming, he began to move again.. you looked up at his face and it was clear he won't be done anytime soon..

[sweet-lil-kittyyy]

dont mind me, im just gonna share a lil bit of my thoughts on my kink journey so far !!

ive learned that im more of a sadist than I thought as a dom, the thought of grabbing my cute little slut pup and pinning them down so they whine, pulling their hair to make their gorgeous eyes roll back like the sweetest little painslut, slapping their face to jolt their attention back to me, watching their eyes get so big as they sink deeper into that sweet and fuzzy pupspace, using my hand as their own personal collar before i slowly but firmly choke them, and then ripping their panties off if they're wearing any, lifting their legs up and pinning them beneath me in a nice, deep mating press as i bury my cock deep inside their nice, wet cunt, breeding them like my good little bitch

ive also discovered what a desperate little cock whore i am as a sub holy shit, i always knew i loved being dominated, but having daddy walk into the garage as im tied up and spread for them to see my dripping pussy after i edged myself for 4 and a half hours in public and almost getting caught, fuck the thought of being exposed and not being able to hide, being forced to keep my legs spread and my tits out while i can't see anything, being helpless to whoever finds me, i fully screamed and squirted over and over holy shit, ive never cum that hard or that much or screamed that loud, like there was a point where i wasn't even saying words i was just whining and moaning and i made such a mess, it felt so good 😵‍💫 so not only am i a slutty exhibitionist who is into being helpless to my dom, im also very much into public play and public use cause wow the thought of daddy doing anything to me in public and being caught and having someone watch or join or trying to be quiet holy shit it turns me on so badly 🥺 also daddy fully broke my brain yesterday in the best way i felt so fucking good and so fucking dumb and all i could do was sit there and smile all pretty and giggle and whine and scream like a pretty little whore and i was sooooooo into it hehehe daddy also smoked with me while i was tied up and blindfolded and it was so hot, and also i would love to be tied up, forced to be a good slutty stoner, have my clothes ripped/cut off so daddy can see what they own 🫣 we use the colour system (red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for good keep going, and blue for more please) and i never said blue so much before when we've played fuck daddy was slapping my thighs and my pussy but i begged them to be meaner, to be harder, to leave hand prints and bruise my thighs, and holy fuck my thighs were so red and so was my pussy and i have bruises left and there's scratch marks and my clit was sooooo red they slapped it so hard it hurt so good and now i can't stop thinking about daddy punishing my cunt with a crop or a flogger 😵‍💫 also the thought of playing with daddy where im kidnapped and tied up and forced to be exposed for daddy to use and i keep thinking of daddy using duct tape to keep me quiet as they use me, i want them to break my lil brain again and make me cum dumb so i go from fighting my kidnapper and trying to escape to spreading my legs wider and begging and screaming for daddy to use me and breed me like the good lil kitty i ammmm

anyways, ive also learned that my sub/dom tendencies very much depend on my cycle and my hormones too ( i do have a uterus, a pussy, and tits, but i am NOT a woman and my pronouns are they/them!! i do enjoy being called a good girl when im feeling more subby and i usually fuck with good girl and feminine names and terms, but i am not a woman and i will not tolerate being called a woman or being referred to as she/her! TRANSPHOBES WILL BE BLOCKED!!) so im like hella subby and slutty and desperate rn cause my hormones are adjusting to my birth control and i just wanna be bred soooooo bad 🥺😵‍💫

[glitchxinthematrix]

IRREDEEMABLE

Part 4

Love, a concept so complicated to even grasp and yet, every single soul in the universe end up craving it. I have had my share of the cravings, but, news flash, it all resulted in me being left alone stranded. So the concept is now hid safe inside a box. buried deep down somewhere inside, and at times like these I hear the faint screaming it does from the suffocation, all for some acknowledgement. And now, Geto, Love? The one minute he stared longer? Gojo's words kept replaying in my head on my way to find Suguru.

I wouldnt run my thoughts any deeper into this, i mean why should i? what did he do about this? how long has this been going on, and ,oh fuck , thats a pillar and my head is gonna raamm into-, wait no its soft, wait its a hand, a familiar one, shit-

I slowly raised my head to see geto by the vending machine with one can of his favourite drink and the other hand as a barrier to my head and the wall. and yet he doesnt frickin spare me a look, why te hell is his head stooped so low.

Walls are everywhere these days huh?,the audacity to joke around right now without even meeting my eye.

"So youre not even gonna look at me?" I blurt out, unexpectedly helpless in my delivery.

As I see him lift his head up very reluctantly and struggle, i find myself doubting everything gojo previously said, miutes ago.

"Whats up y/n". THE NERVE.

"Didnt take you to be a fuckboi Suguru Senpai, following your best friend's steps is it?"

With a confounded expression I saw him squint his eyes and , well that should be a question then.

"You never called, Geto".

His eyes bulged a bit like he wasnt expecting me to care about the things that we did yesterday. I saw him mumble something under his breath while maintaining the good old strained eyebrows.

"What, you dont care about how i feel now that you slept w me?"

I see his expression waver into immediate shock that desperately needed to set some things straight.

"Y/n..you don't know what you're talking about.. please".

No amount of strained expression from him is helping this mixed signal facade that's happening to me. He takes a deep breathe noticing my baffled expression.

"I do. i do care, more than I've done for anyone else. its just.. by the time you were asleep in my...in my arms, gojo had texted. Soo..it worked. Everything worked out. As intended. Or it didnt, and he came to his senses maybe,finally,else, it doesnt make sense. it makes zero sense. i mean why the fuck would someone not know how to treat you? to treat you shouldnt come as a chore or a result of some challenge, its as natural as breathing air, and idk what was with him all this while, but im sure he realises now, so give him a chance, he'll treat you better I'm sure."

"Is that what you want?"

"What..why..why would it matter, what I think" he visibly gulps, confused.

"It matters to me geto, if you care about me, to know that you like me, I don't know geto you messed with my head, I can't get you out of it...i broke up with gojo."

"What..wait. what?" His face couldn't contain the emotions that rollercoastered through his mind.

"Just say it geto, fucking say it. Do you or do you not like me. Shit, why am I even doing this? " I steer away on my heel as an attempt to hide the tears that are about ruin my mascara, until I feel an immediate grab on my wrist, the same soft hands.

"y/nnn, y/nn....how do i tell you this...you have no idea. not a thing. the way i have craved for you, to be with you, the way i have literally felt my blood boil seeing the way my bestfreind treated you. you have no ideaaa. please dont torment me any more than this, shit im sorry, i know, its not your fault. hell you had no idea how i felt. its just. all you had to do was exist ynnn. the way you aree, the way you smile, hold the hemm of gojos shirt when he failed to pay you the attention you more than deserve, the way you gently hit shoko on her shoulders when you laugh, the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, the way and fuck the way, the way i saw you yesterday, every inch of you, its etched in my memory, by choice. Fuck, I need some water"

I couldn't contain the happiness that bloomed inside me and I had to do something crazy because he looked just too cute.

" for now i can help you moisten your lips I think", I stand on my toes to reach his open mouth, so confused and wary and place the timid but hungry kiss on it, but within seconds he makes sense of things and grabs me by my waist only to land a kiss that lasted longer than the hourly bell that rang twice or thrice after that.

"Aaargh, this...you're tempting me to do something irredeemable again" he breathes with a glistening red lips messy with the stray tints of my lipstick.

"Let's redeem through it this time then."

The smirk on his lips right then looked more promising than ever.

[her-pale-shadow]

I kiss you goodbye as you head out the door. It's your standing night out with friends. Usually, I'm content to stay at home playing video games and letting you have your fun with your friends, but tonight, I'm feeling so horny and a little bratty.

I wait a while, so I know you and your friends are in the midst of your hangout when I send my first message:

Thinking about you

It's innocent enough, I give you time to respond, you send heart emojis and an 'I love you', but I'm in the mood to make you flustered around your friends so I send another message:

Thinking horny thoughts about you, it's a shame you're not home.

I press send, feeling smug, imagining you hiding your phone and blushing. I don't wait for a response this time before I'm sending you a picture, my pajamas askew, my nipples poking through the thin tanks top, my loose shorts expertly positioned to flash my pussy. You respond:

Oh? Right now?

I smile. I'm certain I have the upper hand.

Sorry, I know you're with friends, that was probably a bad idea. I didn't think about you having to hide it if I made you horny.

I most certainly did. You respond.

Send another.

This throws me off a bit, but your follow up message makes my cunt twitch:

Im enjoying reading you being horny when Im with friends, send another.

The slut in me knows not to disobey an order. I pull my top down and send another picture.

Good girl. Touch yourself for me. Finger your pussy.

I obey, stripping my shorts. My cunt is already glistening, wet from the idea of our little secret, my pictures turned away or hidden under a table as you continue to chat with your friends. I send another, and another.

I need you so bad baby, my cunt is begging for you. I wish you were home.

The phone starts to ring. You're requesting a video call. I smirk, knowing I must have gotten you so worked up you couldn't help but slip away to the bathroom. I answer, angling the camera to capture my whole body, spread open on the living room couch, naked, wet, moaning.

You're not in the bathroom. Almost immediately, the sound comes through, laughter. "Hi baby," you greet me with a dazzling smile. You look just as gorgeous as you did when you stepped out the door. You're on a couch, presumably in your friend's living room. You're not alone. I can see multiple eyes peering at me from the edges of the screen, so many faces squeezing in to get a full view.

I recoil and blush, closing my legs and pulling my arm up to hide my breasts.

"Did I say you could stop?" You ask, your face is full of amusement, but your tone is firm. You're having fun, but it's no game. Your friends laugh some more. Instinctively, I open my legs again. I'm unable to say no to you. Tentatively, I move my hand back down my body, letting my tits fall. "Good girl. Entertain me and my friends, will you? We were getting a little bored of the movie, and they thought your messages were so amusing."

I suddenly realize the situation I'm in. I never had the upper hand. You were likely passing the phone around the moment I sent the first picture. As you sit in front of me, my naked body on display, you seem unfazed. I failed. You knew exactly what I was trying to do, and this is my punishment. I start fingering myself again.

"She's so well trained." One of your friends says, she grins at me through the screen but the gaze doesn't meet my eyes, she's fully focused on watching my hand circle around my clit. I blush deeper.

"Awwwww, she's embarrassed. Raine, your little toy is so cute!" Another voice cuts through the cloud of giggles. Every word makes my cunt clench tighter around my fingers. I bite my lip to stifle a moan as my fingers curl up inside me and send a shiver through my spine, but a single, admonishing look from you has me releasing it quickly. "I said entertain us, baby, put on a show."

I do. I don't hold back as I fuck my cunt for you and your friends. I let my moans out, load, and whining. Your friends continue to laugh and tease me, and it makes me wet. I'm dripping. Mess all over the couch. You'll punish me for that later.

I've admitted defeat at this point. You give me directions to set the phone up on the coffee table so my second hand is free, and you all have a better view. You tell me you're casting our call onto the TV. Excitedly, your friends start giving me directions. I look to you for guidance, a sweet smile and approving nod is all I need before I'm fucking myself how they want me to. Slapping my cunt, tasting my own cunt from my fingers, squeezing and pinching my nipples until they hurt, turning over to spread my ass. They make me run to the bedroom to grab toys. Dildos and vibrators, nipple clamps, butt plugs, paddles, gags. The demands become more aggressive, and I turn redder and redder with embarrassment from each one, but it's no use hiding that I like it.

Eventually, after cumming to many times to count I collapse back into our sofa, sweat drenched, cum drenched, covered in self influxted bruises. so deep into my slutty haze I barely register your question coming through the cheers, laughter, and sounds of disappointment at my lack of movemnt.

"Done already, doll?" You ask, probably a couple of times before I manage a slight nod. My muscles ache to the point that moving is impossible. I'm still letting out small whining sounds as my swollen cunt throbs, sensitive, but still craving more. " Stay like that until I get home."

Your friends playfully shout 'boos' and 'nos' as you move to end the call. I simply lay there, broken and unable to think.

Just a few minutes later, I hear the front door open. I'm half asleep when you kneel down next to my slumped body. You push my hair out of my eyes and kiss me on the forehead.

"Good job, doll," you whisper. You help me up off of the couch, supporting my body weight. You usher me into the bathroom, where you run a warm shower and set me down in the bathtub, washing me gently, whispering sweet praise, kissing every inch of my face. I'm in heaven.

When I'm all clean, you pull me out of the bath, wrapping me in a warm, fluffy towel. I beg you to just hug me. You giggle and give me a firm hug, i whine as you pull away all too soon, but you say I need water and sleep. You lead me to our bed. You help me slowly finish a bottle or water. You tuck me in, then slide into the bed beside me. You're still clothed. I know you'll stay with me, your arms around me, your fingers in my hair, until I'm fully asleep, before you slip away to get ready for bed yourself and come back to me.

-🌻

🤤🤤 I loved reading during a quiet time at work 💋 And remembering that part of this is something we've done 🤭 You're such a good slut.

[artinvain]

hii! i was wondering what you believe being a lesbian means? i’ve heard a lot of people say women loving women, afab loving afab, nonmen loving nonmen, etc. i only realized that i was a lesbian recently and im trying to understand more about the community beyond typical femme and masc standards.

congratulations on your beautiful realisation. coming out as a lesbian saved my life!! I hope you’re doing fab💖

whew this is a rough one just because there’s so much to be said. I know I don’t speak for the entirety of the lesbian community but from what I’ve seen irl, in my university studies and on the internet this is what I personally believe. and I think this may help as I this is how I went on my journey and have seen this for many other lesbians :)) 🥰🥰

so I’ve always known I was a lesbian. from like 5-10 when we first interact with romantic interests (I know it started young for me - long story), I was wanted to be around girls, hold them, touch them, when I saw women on tv I wanted to kiss them - be the guy they kissed (this is all known retrospectively).

when my mom started to ask me about who I would marry one day (of course she inserted a man bc I grew up in a religious house hold), I told her I wanted a man who was as handsome as an actor, as rich as bill gates (I had no concept of money ok) and spent time travelling (so we wouldn’t have to be together).

when she asked me if I wouldn’t be lonely I told her “of course not” because I would be with my best friends (all women) 24/7.

I then went on to push this narrative, told boys I couldn’t date them because I was Sabin myself for jesus and my unattainable husband. I touched my best friends “too much”, I knew I wanted to kiss them but kept praying the feeling would go away.

when I got to university I moved in with my older gay sibling (thank god) who has many queer friends, pan women, trans men, bi men! they were all soft and gentle and welcoming. I realised there was nothing scary or unholy about such a loving community.

so when the romantic feelings for women started to seep though again. I didn’t stop it. and then it was overwhelming and I realised I never wanted to be around or with men anyway, I had always been hiding this love inside me.

so I started getting into queer basics by dating and what I learnt in my gender studies courses.

for me lesbians understand me inherently without having to say a word (black lesbians specifically) but this goes for general sapphics as well (sometimes).

Because lesbians are socialised as women and or black and poc people, we don’t have to rediscover the systematic dynamics of oppression and patriarchy in our relationship because we both have grappled with that and it’s so easy to speak about and we understand that those ideas don’t pertain to us. we share the same special love for each other, something deeper than what can be explained with words.

“I know you,” is how it feels. the energy, time and love to learn and keep learning about your partner. growing in the same parallel lanes. I know her body, the lesbian body because it is also mine in a way.

so yeah as you can tell I love a good les4les and I looove a good deeply sapphic woman!!!

Lesbians have carved out our own slice of identity by creating a culture and partaking in a gender and sexuality that has been made outside of the patriarchy and the male gaze.

I do know a lot of trans masculine people identify with the lesbian community because some of these lesbians who are more butch and masc leaning sometimes decide to take t, have top surgery for example.

I know a lot of the transmasc people in my life who used to be lesbian are in a transitional space out of the community and into one that better suits them and where they are understood by other queer transmen. but they’ll never completely have no connection to the lesbian community, because that’s where they were socialised for most of their lives, it’s the community they’ll helped build. So they’ll always be a loving ally. A part of the family.

however many lesbians do not like to be with people who identify as men especially if they socially transition because it can cause a shift in dynamics, when one partner is now benefitting from the patriarchy on the basis of passing for example. Others believe it is disrespectful to date transmen and call themselves lesbians because for them lesbian is a specifically feminine aligned word and that feels invalidating to the trans man’s identity (and many trans men feel the same).

So yeah — there are too many nuances to count. But if you want to make it easy for yourself!? Think about what you want, what you are attracted to and what you like. really hone in on that and be comfortable with yourself in your lesbian identity, read some books on it, hell read some lesbian smut to get comfortable in the pleasure that is lesbianism. It’s about what you like and go about it kindly xx (and be smart and safe please)

Also often people will say that trans women can’t be lesbians but if you know that gender expression and sexuality are different things then you know that isn’t true :))

Ummm yeah that’s what I think at least 👁️👄👁️

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Sara encounter with god part 3

Sara: *wakes up in her bed alone* god? *smells the air smelling food* hmmm? *walks downstairs shocked at wat she saw*

God: morning sara i made some breakfast didn't know wat u liked so i made every breakfast food there some on the table

Sara: huh *looks at the tables* oh babe u didn't have to?

God: i know but i did sara and im not ready to be called that yet

Sara: too bad I'm calling u my babe because ur mine now

God: that's wat u think cutie

Sara: first im not cute im hot and so r u *tackles god* now fuck me u holy cock tease

God: uh no not now we eat but I'll think about it deal?

Sara: I'll fuck u somehow babe but i am hungry *gets off of him walking the table*

God: *sits up sitting down at the table* ur one crazy mare cutie

Sara: and ur one handsome stallion my lord *starts eating*

God: *starts eating sipping his blood coffee* how's the food my sweet

Sara: good but i rather have something else to "munch" on heheh

God: *blushes eating* u really wanna fuck do u?

Sara: yes i already know how it's gonna work if u don't fuck me I'll make u fuck me

God: hmmm i wonder how this will play out im curious

Sara: ? So ur not gonna fuck me?

God: maybe it depends

Sara: plz my holy lord fuck me I'll do anything just

God: sorry sara but not now just eat ur food

Sara: *starts eating* just u wait ur holiness u'll fuck me by the end of this day i know it

God: *mumbles* that wat im afraid of *keeps eating*

Sara: but i do have plans for us today my love

God: huh? Wat plans r u talking about?

Sara: u'll find out soon my holy lover

God: i have a bad feeling about this....

Sara: it'll be a good feeling for both of us u'll finally feel my insides with ur holy cock

God: yeah bad feeling....

Sara: *finishes eating jumping on god lap* fuck me ur holiness *kissss god deeply forcing her tongue down in his mouth*

God: *pushes her off* damn sara tongue on the first day??

Sara: u mean date my sweet lover *tackles god to the ground kissing him* mmmm ur lips feel so warm babe *kisses god face multiple time*

God: *blushes deep red trying to get free* damnit all

Sara: also happy valentines day babe *kisses do gods chest*

God: plz don't do this sara it's very bad

Sara: i know hehehe now let me see that holy cock of urs

God: *teleports to the kitchen* oh damn......

Sara: get back here u cock tease

God: oh fuck *runs upstairs to her room hiding* i think i fucked myself........

Sara: *dragging some chain opening her closet door* hi babe how r u doing?

God: oh god...... *panics*

Sara: *jumps on her bed* get over here *wraps one chain around god neck pulling him to her*

God: u suck sara

Sara: there will be some sucking involved babe don't u worry about that *flops on her bed spreading her leg* now start sucking babe

God: *pulls on the chains* ur gonna have to make me babe *smirks giggling*

Sara: i don't mind making the holy lord suck on my pussy *pulls on the chains making god eat her out*

God: *continues sucking on sara clit spreading her pussy lips licking deeper*

Sara: ahh b-babe *moans louder wrapping her legs around god head making him go deeper into her pussy as she climaxes onto god face*

God: *licks up the cum on sara pussy*

Sara: kiss me u filthy animal

God: *kisses sara deeply* happy valentine's day babe sorry i been not hard to get

Sara: don't be i love a challenge fuck me plz my lord *kisses god again looking at him* plz?

God: *smirks* no

Sara: fine I'll fuck u then *they rolled off her bed sara was on top grind her pussy against god cock*

God: *uses his magic to spank sara flank*

Sara: no fair u have magic

God: seem fair *uses his magic to rub sara clit*

Sara: ahh *thrusts god cock in her pussy taking it half way while cumming moaning loudly* u-u as-sho-ole

God: still seem fair

Sara: *thrusts up and down* u-ur cock i-isn't mmm all that mmmm g-good

God: watever u say babe *spanks her flank harder*

Sara: ahhh *thrusts more faster hope he cums soon* b-babe?

God: don't worry babe *pulls out cumming* t-the-ere mmmm

To be continued

Tag for @saraali-19

[red-woods]

i was a child when i saw it happen , i was walking down a street i didnt usually , feeling a little scared , a little lost , a little excited be the idea of not doing what i was supposed to , and quickly squashing it down with guilt . i wasnt supposed to do what i wasnt supposed to and if i did i wasnt supposed to like it .

and then i saw something strange , sorry , someone strange . i saw a fly on a wall , call me crazy but id seen them before , their wing was torn up and they had to walk .

i searched in my pockets for something to give them but , was caught in an odd feeling . it was anger . whatever i could give them wouldnt be enough to keep them fed forever , or protect them from the winter , or keep them safe . they were so small and vulnerable , and to so many people inconsequencial , and it made me angry at something deep , and fundamental that i couldnt place , or maybe just the society we lived in . i chalked it up to being angry that my parents would never let me bring a bug inside to take care of them but - it ran deeper than that . it was - cosmic . and it hurt . it hurt really bad .

my pockets were empty , and i felt a sense of guilt , and , i couldve sworn : hunger , and all at the same time : forgiveness ? i wasnt sure what i had to forgive so it confused me .

i saw them fall from the wall , and i rushed over to try and help , in whatever way i thought was possible but : bugs dont have doctors .

but i swear , i saw something come out of them . it was still them , im not sure how i knew but : it , sorry , they : grew , with long spindly , shadowy limbs , they grew hands , they tried growing a face but couldnt really so their face was sort of just blank . they were a child , and they held my hand .

i felt sad .

i said : hey , lets get you some food . and had a twinge of recognition that beforehand , i wouldnt have gotten it for them . i hoped it was because i felt like theyd have moved had i left , but i knew that wasnt it . i couldve carried them with me , and hidden them , and gotten them all the food they had needed . and i felt angry at myself .

we walked to my house , and i felt the need to hide them , because , they werent entirely human . i asked them to wait in the garden , and id get a cloak from a ren fair that could hide them . they didnt know any of those words , none if them were in the bible . i ran inside , tried to ignore the start of one of my mom's infamous hour long rants about some bullshit unrelated to literally anything , found a cloak , and brought it out excitedly along with pants , a shirt , the works .

i stopped .

someone saw them , and was starting to target them with the distinct cadence of someone who had found someone who isnt human , and who they know they can hurt .

i walked over calmly as if i was seeing an old friend , made up a convincing enough name , and said " hey i heard you were trying out your new halloween costume ! i got mine ready , i think your dad is right around the block over there with his costume !

i felt fear deeper than i ever had , i felt small , and weak , and i knew what was going to happen . i could feel it , not entirely , but i winced noticably , i passed it off as a sneeze .

they werent hiding their fear as well as i was because they scrambled to get away from the person , but werent sure where to go . i felt distrustful and scared , especially of the person who had been coming at me , but also of the person who didnt see me as - human ? what was a human - where did the lines blur , if i wasnt human , and humans were the only life they seemed to feel like was worth going out of your way to protect : what was i , did i matter ?

i was shocked at the thoughts id just had and felt very sad and apologetic but understood - the thing id been mad at , the cosmic , unfair thing i couldnt name : wasnt just the way the universe functioned was ingrained inside of me . and i suddenly felt it was something i had to destroy completely , at all costs .

the person with no face fled . i dont blame them honestly , because , i dont want to get into it . and i didnt see them again until later , when it happened .

i saw a circle of people i knew , most of them assholes to be honest , not surprising giving the circumstances . and then i felt it . i doubled over from the pain and screamed , loud . i tried to stand up and crashed into people nearby , some people there tried to help me , but quickly dropped it when others closer to the inside of the circle started regarding me as if i were something , or someone - to poke with a stick .

i felt horror , a fear of the cold dark nothingness , of a universe that genuinely didnt care about me , about flies , about some strange and horrific structure that should mean i would go home safe while someone else didnt . god , there was no way i was going home safe was there . haha oh god ,

i blacked out . when i woke up no one was around me , i think theyd scattered - which , was fair i thought - it looked like the scene of a crime . but - i started to remember that it was . i was lying in a puddle of blood , i coughed , tried to pull myself up from where i was lying , and fell back down but i knew it wasnt my blood , i was going - was i going to be okay ? it - was my blood , oh god i had bruises and cuts all over me - who was myself , who was them , were they with me now ? was one of us going to vanish ? i didnt think so , i wouldnt let that happen . i felt something around my neck , it was a chain . i held it gently , and - it said both of our names , with a symbol .

it looked like the symbol for yen almost , like this ¥ , but not quite . it was more rounded , and had one more line .

we lay there for quite some time . after a while the world stopped spinning , our heads stopped throbbing , we felt good enough to get up , although extremely slowly and gingerly . we limped back to my house clutching our injuries , we had both agreed to go their home and eat a metric fuck ton of every food we werent supposed to , and pass the fuck out in a comfy bed . and we did . we looked at our hands , there was a shadowy one there only we could see , and a body to hide them , we laughed about it , and dumped rotting garbage on the lawns of all who crossed us .

the end ^ w ^

The beast was dead. It took every adventurer in town and many a casualty, but the beast was finally dead. The town was saved - until someone noticed the creature was wearing a collar and a nametag.

[myqueerfatlife]

10/23/2020

I literally compare myself to every person.

Why am I better at than them?

It’s ugly. Why would people be my friend when I literally make up how I am better at something than them? Im so fucking insecure.

Sarah- im not as crazy as her

Courtney- im more real than her

Sadie- im older and im wiser. I’m smarter about boys

Jackie- im smarter about everything.

Josh- my life is more put together

This is all crazy, and not true and it all makes me think I feel better about myself. I’m literally covering up the hatred I have for myself with made up things.

It’s wild I can’t even see the hate. I can’t see what’s under all of that. I can’t identify it.

Is the belief I don’t belong. I don’t have worth People won’t like me? I don’t like me?

But what is hiding under those things that people won’t like?

I’m so little and scared like a neglected street dog. I don’t know what’s good for it. It doesn’t know what’s good for it.

It’s not ready. But will it ever be?

I wish I knew how to nurture it. I just can’t exactly identify it.

I believe I will always be “second best”. It’s “fake best” because I’m faking it, and making it seem better than it is and everyone believes me. But inside I know that I am lying. It’s unconscious. But you like what I say but it doesn’t go into you. You don’t know, but your body knows I am phony.

Oh fuck.

I believe I’m phony. Why don’t I feel real. All I’ve ever wanted to be is authentic.

And it’s all covering it up. BUT WHAT IS IT.

How could I truly not know? How have I’ve never known.

For an unrecognizable street dog, here are the steps I would take:

1. Assess the damage

2. Groom and clean

3. Nourish with warmth and love

How do I assess damage on something I don’t know it’s healthy form?

The “I want to be alone forever” seems so obvious.

IVE LITERALLY BEEN PUTTING OUT IN THE WORLD THAT I DONT WANT TO BE LOVED

Why would people love me if I’m projecting that I don’t need love and I don’t want it?

I knew, and I known, but I know deeper.

Is it possible that I actually do want love?

Not sure how to even start to change this.

It feels fucking vulnerable.

I need to tell someone. Ugh why is this so hard. The literal most basic need. It’s human nature. Why is this the most vulnerable thing. It’s literally every person on this earth. Why is this so hard for me to want?

The fear that the most basic thing, in nature, in science, most basic need that everyone has - I won’t have it.

And that is the root that I am not normal.

That I would be rejected. That the most basic need I have would be rejected. So it’s better to just hide that need all under all of the bullshit and rejection.

Assess the damage

Groom and clean

Nourish with warmth and love

The desperation is ugly. The act is ugly. I don’t want to be loved.

My love feels like too much, like overcompensating, over the top clingy. This is like standing up for myself. It comes real strong since I don’t have it very often.

I need people call me out on that ugly. I need people to feel me and tell me when I’m am projecting “I don’t want to be loved”. I need to realize when I’m projecting. I need to feel her better than that.

It’s funny because I told my coach that I got fat so I didn’t have to worry about the boys lusting after me. And I didn’t believe that when I said it out loud. It was the first time I ever really considered that and it didn’t feel right. Fatness made it easy to not have to worry about people lusting after me because I did not want someone to love me. I don’t know why I got fat. But it made it really easy for me to not be loved.

I always want to make important people like me. Parents, leaders, teachers. Just to make me better than the people around me. I was better than the students around me because the teachers liked me more. My best childhood friend once called me out for rubbing it in her face that I got more points than she did. I was better and smarter than the pretty popular girl that everyone liked. And I had to make it known to feel validated.

(Wow I am really like every single person out there, just dumber for not realizing it sooner)

That meeting with Amber, her body knew it. She didn’t tell me though. She knew.

Derek knew, and kinda called it out, but like not directly.

Hannah called me out at the bar. She said it was my body language. It wasn’t.

My coach knew it. She read me like a book, but didn’t tell me. I wanted her to tell me. I wanted her to make me sit in the uncomfortable until I got it. I was paying her to do that.

How to be loved. How to allow yourself to want to be loved.

Ugh how to be fucking normal.

You kept telling yourself to sit in the uncomfortable. Sit in it. Feel it. Assess the damage. Then clean it up. Then nourish it.

You want to be loved. Deeply. I’m a real way. And you have to learn that the risk of rejection is worth it.

I don’t know if I can do this or what that even looks like.

I must have a repressed memory.

This might be the first time I’m admitting to myself that I might want to be married someday. Or just love someone enough to want to marry them and they love me enough to want to marry me.

And that is fucking terrifying.

[whatafooliusedtobe]

a painful memory. i thought we were just going to hang out

from the hot sun to the safety of inside my home sand still on my body and salt in my hair. i have to shower. next thing i know you are undressing me asking if im on birthcontrol i say yes you stRt kissing my body not asking if thats what i want. well i guess i couldve said no but i standstill im quiet im unshaken i say nothing. i dont think ive even processed what was coming about me. next thing i know you are in me raw and im bobbing up and down. ive removed myself from my body. ive never let anyone but a past lover do this to me im so confused i dissasociate im not here im not real. next thing i know you said youa re goingto cum. i instinctively snapped back in and said No and pulled you off of me. You came anyways. all over me and in me and it hurt me but i couldnt show that. I got up immediately and ran into my shower to cry. upon my return i grabbed my cigarettes and went out to my porch. you still in a daze from your did laying in my bed not realizing how stiff how unmoved how uninlove i am how i did not want that with you. i dont know you. ive only met you three times over the span of a month. i put myself together quickly out there knowing no one would care and somehow itd be my fault again just like high school was also my fault and the times before that. i didnt show I was hurt. I told you I had got called into work and made you leave. I blocked this all out and remembered it months later when I found out you had a girlfriend. the mess you caused me the hurt it caused me. the way she called me a slut a whore an attention seeker. in my lowest i dragged even deeper. told myself this was all my fault. you lied about your relationship status, who youw ere, how old you were, and that the dog was yours. this incident stained me for years to come 2017��. im still stained with guilt in my body and pain when i try to be intimate with another. desecrated my body and ruined it for a lifetime. ruined my connection with in itself and ruined my future connections. sometimes i still weep in sex when i remember. i try my best to hide my fears and how i feel. sometimes this memory comes up when i dont want it when i dont need it. when i need to be happyw hen i wanna feel good. it comes back and haunts me. i wanna move on i wanna let go but this holds me back its hard to be intimate becUse my very beliefs of intimacy were taken from me by a stranger. I jsut thought we were going to hang out. im naive im stupid im 20.

[kendylouwhoo]

I feel like a dirty rag that's becoming clean. Someone is squeezing me until I almost can't breath. So I remind myself to breath and relax my body... this stuff coming out it doesn't want to stay. Everything else is transmuted and we're on our way. I've been running a marathon for so long, so very fucking long, perseverance is the name. I'm learning how to turn struggle into a game. Life taps me on the sholder and tells me to have fun. How? I say, go take a run? Move your body in ways that feel good. Dance, sing, be silly a ton. How do I do this I don't understand. Slipping and slidding all over the sand. Slamming my face into the ground, it's like that dream I've had throughout my life, run and fly all around. I know I can do it. Why won't it work? Just have to keep stepping to it. Whisper in my ear, pssst. Learn how to twerk. Shake that body move those hips. Remember the games in your mind are only truth in what you want them to be. Remember where your desire meets with the Divine is where you become free. Brain feels inflamed. I wake up feeling sick. Kids scream and my nervous system is firing like a prick. Money scares, energy drain, foods almost gone. You know this my love, it's always darkest before the dawn. You're already in the dawn of your butterfly being born, these last few steps are just taking out the thorns. Like a green juice fast or any kind of detox, your body is getting rid of what's no longer you. All these feelings from the past like revisiting my whole life, things coming out that haven't seen the light. Reminding myself again and again, your doing amazing my love you already know you will win. So I say thank you for coming up, im so grateful to see you, come with me and transmute, or be on your way. Remembering how fucking good it feels to cry, have you done it today? No? Well it's time to go dance. Say goodbye to those things this is the last glance. Heart is opening yet building a web, because inside a container I feel more free. Not a box that keeps me a certain way more like a web that sways with the breeze, let's in what it wants but protects from the stuff that doesn't serve the bees. Weaving a web from all the strands of my life, I'm falling so deeply in love all the strands and strife. Where I used to run, the habit is transforming to lean in. Where I used to hide I now say, peek a boo, I love you! Where I used to look the other way, I now look deeper, what whats that I see? I'm learning more and more how to be sturdy when it's steeper. I love you, I'm proud of you, I repete every day, words that took me so long just to be able to say. It's magical and wonderful to watch the denial melting away. How often I've though and see others do too, think when they step into something new, something transformed, something great, that all their problems will just melt away. Ok for real be honest with yourself, that's not even what you want now, otherwise you would have probably reincarnated on some green pasture as a cow. We don't know what we want because we don't know what there is to see we don't know what it means to fully step into me. But I do know this, there's a threshold point. Where I go from surviving to thriving and that's where I'm about to be. How do I know? Because I already feel it inside me.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

How are you doing today? I know you're taking time to look into posts and reply after. Can I ask also for a birthday reading for myself it is so soon and I don't know when or if I'll get the reading I wanted to ask earlier. I want to ask for it without asking or saying anything to be real because I'm curious what will come up for me. This new age + year will be in. Thank you very much already. I hope we can talk once again soon.🌷

Sure :) Happy early birthday! And can you send in the other request? I know you wanted to send in some asks about the other reading I’m looking for. But if you have other questions you can go ahead and ask them, just use your emoji.

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Spirit, what do you want our lovely tulip anon to know about this upcoming year?

You need to play it a little safer this year, not because taking risks is a bad thing to do, but because this year isn’t a focus on the external, it’s a focus on the internal. So often in your life, you’ve taken external risks as a way to address boredom and lack of purpose, which are actually internal issues.

This year, you will be focusing internally on how to cultivate a feeling of purpose that comes from within, that comes from mere existence. This lack of purpose is why you feel so empty at times. You don’t actually lack purpose, it’s just you’re defining purpose by human standards when purpose is a more esoteric and internal pursuit.

Purpose can be built up so greatly inside you that it overflows and finds others to bless, but that feeling has to be generated from within. You don’t feel purpose from giving food to people who are hungry, your purpose drives you there. Does that make sense? People pursue it backwards. They think going to give back will make them feel purpose, when really purpose is what would drive you to give back. Purpose comes from within to lead to external actions without.

How to work on purpose this year

- spend a lot of time in reflection about the true motivations behind your actions and desires

- what are the things in your life you feel repeatedly drawn to/the things you can’t not do

- take note of when you feel lit up by life and deeply reflect on what may be creating that spark, look deeper than I just love being friends, is it more that like connecting others, or it’s helping you feel community, go beyond the surface

Card Pull

Chakra Exploration Deck

Throat chakra— is there a relationship in your life that needs more conscious and truthful communication?

Mantra: I choose my words thoughtfully and consciously. I speak transparently, expressing my needs & desires with clarity.

Throat Chakra—in what ways have you repressed your voice or been hesitant to express your truth? How has this effected the unfoldment of your life?

Mantra: Sharing my voice, thoughts & opinions is vital and I speak truth confidently & with ease

These cards flew out, interesting they’re both throat chakra, which is tied to the air element, communication and expression of self.

With the first card, immediately I felt there is some communication with your parents that you need to engage in. I think maybe it’s honesty around your upbringing or honesty about who you are, but I get strongly there is a relationship with a parental figure that you need to be more honest about and when engaging with them. Part of your healing lack of purpose may lie in healing the purpose your parents pushed upon you and reconciling your purpose with the one they wanted for you. You’re hiding some truths and integral deep parts of yourself that are asking to be expressed and I think the first step is honesty with yourself and parents. Big on expressing your needs. Im feeling you probably have repressed them a lot and so actually figuring out your needs and how to communicate them is huge.

I wrote this last bit before even seeing the second chakra card and the word repressed is on there too. It seems like this lack of purpose is directly tied to you showing up authentically in your relationship with self and others. Shedding conditioning we’ve been subjected to for years is challenging but this year, that’s the focus for you, shedding conditioning to get aligned with your truth which allow you to feel purpose which will overflow and bless others.

Hope this helps you! Would love to know how it resonates. And maybe as the year goes on, it would be cool to know how any of what I said comes back around. Anyway, much love to you darling! Blue is your color this year. Go to the ocean also. 🌊🐳

Also here’s a post I did on the throat chakra, maybe it’ll help you.

[jhypeach]

[9:00pm] Anniversary at Milan

pairings: jaehyun x fem reader warnings: public sex, finger fucking, smut hii! just wanna let you guys know im still alive. i'll slowly respond on your requests 😊 it's just me fantasizing jaehyun at milan during his prada fashion week 😣

Jaehyun rubs my right leg under the table, exposing my whole legs as I was just wearing a dress. It's our 3rd anniversary, so we decided to celebrate it at Milam, and today he asked me out to a fancy restaurant. I wore a champagne dress for this night, but it looks like this dude likes me better without any of them.

He strokes my leg until it reaches my sensitive bud. He leaned closer to me, "open them," which I gladly did. I spread my legs for his hand to rub my clit. He found it in no time and started playing with it. It's driving me insane that I want to close my legs and rub them against each other to create friction, but he won't let me.

He slid his finger inside my underwear and teased my entrance, spreading my wetness around my pussy. I had to roll my eyes and shut it because of how sensitive I am down there already, and I know he likes it when I show my reaction. I groaned silently as I gripped his arms and pulled him by his arm to whisper. "Stop teasing, babe," he smirked at me and kissed my forehead. "Go to the bathroom and remove your underwear," he replied, after pinching my clitoris. That made me gasp and he just laughed at me.

When he removed his hand from my core, I calmed myself first before standing up to go to the bathroom. I immediately removed the thin clothing that I had under me. I saw how wet it was already. I tried to hide my grin with my glare, but I couldn't help but smile. God, this man makes me so wet.

I returned to him and sat next to him once more. After licking his middle and ring fingers, his hand instantly returned to my core, while his other hand took my panties from my grasp and stuffed it into his back pocket.

He teased my entrance one more before inserting a gentle but deep finger within me. I groaned at how good he made me feel. He continued thrusting his finger inside me, and I swear it was difficult for me to keep a straight face. Later, when the waiter came to our table to take our orders, Jaehyun smiled at him as if he wasn't wrecking me with his finger down there. "Ma'am, are you okay?" the waiter questioned me, observing my actions. "ye-yeah, Certainly," I said, smiling.

"Doing good, baby," Jaehyun whispered, pinching my clitoris and pushing his finger inside me faster. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from moaning. I was curling my toes under the table. This is insane, and I desperately want to scream. It’s so good. Fuck you, Jaehyun, for finger fucking me in public. Thank goodness our reserved table was in a corner part of the restaurant and they could barely see us.

Feeling how one finger couldn’t get my high yet, he inserted another finger inside me, picking up the pace faster and deeper. I released a gasp and cursed under my breath, "God, fuck, baby. A-aah". Gripping his arm isn’t enough; I need to squish something to release my tension. 

My hands traveled to his muscular legs, gripping them tightly, burying my nails. I slowly moved it to his thigh near his growing bulge. "Honey, you wanna play?" he said as he felt my palms caressing his clothes. "You started it." I smirked at him as I played with his tenting bulge.

I can feel my release nearing. I clenched around his fingers, and I squeezed his groin. That made him whimper and groan. "Coming, baby," I whispered. Not long after I released on hands, I panted and chased my breath. My hands didn’t leave his clothed cock yet. What? It’s my favorite fluffy. I palmed him as I calmed myself.

He sucked my cum on his finger as he carefully took his finger from mine. He took a tissue from our table and wiped my thighs and entrance. "I don't have a wet wipes with me. Can you deal with the sticky sensation for a while? " He asked carefully, and I simply nodded.

"Baby, our food is on its way. You can have my dick afterwards. Okay?" He kissed my temple and I removed my hand that was rubbing his bulge. Fuckers, can't they serve the food later? I very much want to suck him, and I can't wait to get back to our hotel room.

[blueicequeen19]

Arranged Pt. 3

Previous

After our wedding night it was like the beast awakened inside Rafe Cameron. He couldn’t go more than a few hours before he was bending me over any flat surface and claiming me again. My body was sore but he didn’t care. He’d make me cum until I cried then he’d finally spill inside me. If I wanted a moment to myself, I had to hide. And although it pissed him off when I avoided him, he loved finding me and cornering me. That’s how I ended up in the pantry.

“Y/N?” I heard Rafe call from the other side of the kitchen. I fought back a whimper as I heard his footsteps draw closer. I couldn’t handle anymore. Could you die from too much sex?

“If I find you, you won’t like what happens. Maybe I’ll venture to your sweet ass.” I gasp, moving towards the door but it’s too late. The door flies open and I yelp as his hand wraps around my throat. I claw at his hand as he shoves me back against the shelves.

“I’m liking this game we’re playing.” Rafe kisses me hard and I push at his chest.

“Rafe, please. I’m so sore.” I whine as he tugs my dress down, leaving me naked. I wasn’t allowed to wear bras or panties inside the house unless we had company. Rafe twisted one nipple between his fingers while he sucked the other into his mouth. I gripped the shelves for support as I felt myself melt for him.

“I don’t care.” Rafe mumbled around my nipple. He drops to his knees, hooking one of my trembling legs over his shoulder before diving in.

“Oh, Rafe!” I cry as he licks and sucks me with his skilled mouth. His hands grip my ass, not letting me get away from him. I can’t do anything but hold on as his tongue flicks over my clit so rapidly, a long finger teasing my entrance. I cum so quickly it knocks the wind out of me, his finger still barely entering me. My body trembles violently as I come back down.

“Your pussy is trying to clench my finger. I thought you were sore? Is my wife a desperate whore? Do you need my fingers? My cock? What about back here?” His finger pushes against my ass and I tense as he torments me with light touches. Rafe suddenly spins me around, forcing me to bend over as he licks me from behind.

“Rafe, I can’t take it. Please.”

“I know, baby, I know. Im going to give your pussy a break. Let me just get you ready. Wouldn’t want to tear you.” His tongue flicks over my asshole and I can’t help the wave of embarrassment that coats my skin.

“What!?” I squeal, my cheeks bright red as I try to straighten but a strong hand forces me back down. This was happening. He was going to take my ass in the pantry.

“God, this body. It’s mine to mark. To claim. To fuck. And I’m going to fuck it.” Rafe spats and I feel it drop between my cheeks, his finger pressing inside the tight muscle. It burns as he slowly works his finger deeper until he spits again and a second works inside me. My toes curl in my sandals as a powerful orgasm starts to work it’s way through my body. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It hurts but in a pleasurable way. Especially when he moves his fingers faster, adding more and more spit as he does.

“Rafe. I’m gonna cum!” I cry, my body trembling but he stops abruptly with a dark chuckle.

“Not yet you don’t. I want you to cum while I’m inside you. I want to feel you clenching me so hard you’re trying to rip it off.” Rafe growls, pushing his thick head inside me. I groan as my chin presses to my chest.

“Relax and breathe. Play with your clit. I’m not stopping.” Rafe grits through his teeth, continuing to push as I bring trembling fingers to my swollen clit. Sparks shoot through my body as soon as I touch it, making the burning more bearable as Rafe bottoms out.

“Wow. Fuck. This is going to be over quick.” Rafe yanks me up right by the back of my neck, teeth biting at my neck. He pulls back and presses back in and I feel myself cumming as he does it again. He’s barely moved and I can’t stop myself.

“Shit! You’re cumming! That was fast!” Rafe keeps his slow and steady pace as the orgasm drains me. I cling to the shelves in front of me as he fucks me, not sure I’d be able to hold myself up.

“Fuck, that feels good.” Rafe thrusts a little harder, making me feel sorry for any of the staff in the house. There’s no way they don’t hear us.

“Scream for me. Scream while I fuck your ass and fill it up.” Rafe demands, his hand tight right under my chin. Another orgasm hits me and I scream so loud it hurts my own ears, Rafe fucking me hard until he finally stills, slumping against my back and pinning me to the shelves.

“Fuck, that was amazing.” Rafe slips free and scoops me up as my eyes droop closed. “Such a good little wife.”