#and i drew like the first 14 moons for the first one but got overwhelmed on it jsjsj

[splinterclan]

I bet also Moon feels awful for the Vine incident since she was the last Vine talked to!

Yeah I'm sure she's thought about it! That guilt + relief that Vinekit seems to not have told anyone on her so she didn't get in trouble. I think she misses that hero worship Vine used to give her but also she's been the one avoiding everyone so :<

I use Clip Studio Paint! And i do recommend it, it's really good ^^ Thank you as well!

My advice is

1. to use references as often as you can bc looking at real cats it the best way to learn how to draw cartoon cats

2. if you do make a comic, make sure to make like 5 moons/pages/updates before you start posting it! Both to make sure you actually like what you're drawing and so that you don't get overwhelmed having nothing to post while you're drawing the new stuff.

[thetrailofyourbloodinthesnow]

Hindu Mythology Event // Day 6 - Underrated Relationships

Lakshman and Urmila

(I had originally planned something different for today, but this fic popped in my head, and I amazed myself by managing to write it in a few days. So enjoy some fluff of these two after Lakshman's return to Ayodhya) (Also in AO3)

"Really, Mila. You don't have to..."

Lakshman was promptly shushed by his wife as she lead him by the hand into the baths. "I want to do it."

He had long ago sworn to himself that when the blessed day of their reunion came, he wouldn't deny her anything she asked of him. So, he stopped protesting and followed her like an obedient child.

Still, he would have preferred to do this by himself. In the last 14 year he hadn't given much thought to his aspect. The grooming and bedecking that were a vital part of courtly life had to be abandoned in the harsh austerities demanded by the forest exile. Royal silks and oiled hair were replaced by clothes of bark and matted hair, but he'd hardly care. Besides, for most of that time the only people that had been around to see him had been Ram and Sita, who were in the same unkempt and unclean state as he was.

He knew he looked nothing like the dashing prince that had left Ayodhya all those years ago, but seeing his reflection in an actual mirror (he had only seen it in rivers and ponds in the forest) and contrasting his looks with those of his twin made him realize just how much he had changed.

"Goodness, I need a bath!" He'd exclaimed, making his family laugh. In reality, he needed far more than a bath but he figured that was a good place to start. He'd tried to excuse himself from everyone to go get clean, but Urmila insisted on helping him.

"You must have expected your prince charming to come swaggering through the palace gates," he told her while she poured perfumes and flower petals into the water for his bath. "And instead, you wondered who was that wild ascetic that was walking toward you." He felt a little ashamed of not having thought of tidying himself up a little bit for her.

"Doesn't matter what I thought." The corners of her mouth curled up. "I'll have my prince charming when I'm done here."

She made him take off his tattered clothes and get into the water. He sighed when he entered the tub, it'd been a long time since he'd had a hot bath and he'd forgotten how good it was for his strained muscles. Urmila began soaping and scrubbing his skin, rubbing it with turmeric and herbal pastes until all the grime and filth that had accumulated in his pores had been drawn out, leaving his skin smooth and soft. She raised an eyebrow to the scratches and bruises that covered his body, but didn't comment on them. She'd already been told everything would be explained later.

Before they arrived back home, Ram had asked them to restrain from telling everyone what had happened during their exile, at least for a few days. Not everything was kept secret, though; the flying chariot that had dropped them in Ayodhya and the talking monkey that accompanied them weren't the kind of things that could wait for an explanation. But for the rest - Ravan, Sita's kidnapping, the war - it was better to wait until they were fully settled in before telling the story.

Lakshman agreed, there was no need to overwhelm their love ones with the full account of their 'adventures' and to make themselves revive them so soon after the facts. To think that only a few days ago, he'd been fighting side by side with monkeys and bears against an army of demons!

It's strange, he thought while he brushed off the dried blood under his nails. A part of me feels like it happened years ago, while another feels like I'm still there.

After she had cleaned him fully, Urmila move on to his beard. It was a long, tangled, unruly thing. She first trimmed it with sharp scissors and then shaved it off, leaving only a mustache, the tips of which she oiled and curled upwards. Lakshman felt oddly naked without his beard, but decided it was worth it after feeling Urmila's soft fingers against his bare skin.

She saved the hardest part for the end: his hair. It took a lot of patience and effort to untangle the rat's nest on top of his head. She had to first soften it with oils and then separated it into small sections that she would then try to past a comb through. If it were for Laksman he would have cut it all off and save himself the trouble, but Urmila had a frown of determination in her face. So he kept quiet and let her continue her ministrations, only wincing whenever her comb got trapped in a knot. "Sorry," she would mutter every time it happened. At last, his hair was freed of tangles and Urmila was able to run her fingers through it.

He sat there for some time, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her nails softly scraping his scalp. It had been a while since he'd felt so at peace. In the darkest times he had feared this peace would never come again. But there it was, after so long. Hopefully, it had come to stay.

"Lakshman," Urmila's whisper broke his reverie. He opened his eyes slowly to look at his wife, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw how she was looking at him. Her always bright eyes seemed to burn now, scorching with the unmistakable flames of desire. His treacherous mind made his stomach flip by reminding him of the last time that a woman had looked at him like that. But no, he told himself, this is different. There was no edge of possessiveness in Urmila's eyes, no tinge of desperation. Just a tender request.

She was so beautiful, this wife of his. Far more than he'd remembered. Either his memory hadn't done her justice, or she had grown lovelier with the years. Her round face was like a full moon, with dimpled cheeks that still gave her an air of innocence. Her almond-shaped eyes were like two brown pools that he could gladly drown in, with long thick eyelashes that grazed her cheeks like two black fans. And her lips were plump and perfectly curved, looking as soft as rose petals. They drew him in, irresistibly pulling him by an invisible thread until he was touching them with his own lips.

They kissed tentatively at first, as if dipping their toes in the water, before taking a full dive, growing more passionate, more hungry for each other. After a while, Urmila broke the kiss, leaving Lakshman panting, and taking a step back, she began to loosen her clothes. She had clearly changed since he'd last seen her. The girl he'd married never lost the shyness of a new bride, blushing and lowering her glance whenever she undressed in front of him. The woman that stood in front of him now didn't take her eyes from his as she unwrapped her saree and let the fabric drop to the floor, displaying her nakedness without a hint of shame.

Lakshman inhaled sharply. For years he had constrained his baser desires with the painstaking discipline demanded by the life of an ascetic he'd been living. Well, that constrain was thoroughly shaken by the sight of Urmila's naked body. Its perfection aroused the lust the had never been fully quenched, only lay dormant waiting for her.

She sat straddling him, laying on top of his chest and pressing her forehead against his. They both moaned when their bodies came into contact, but neither of them moved afterwards. They stayed perfectly still, holding each other so close they could both feel the other's trumping heartbeat.

"I spent so many nights tossing and turning in my bed," she said in a low husky voice. "Dreaming of the day I would touch your body with mine again." Her eyes now showed a hint of pain behind the desire. "That bed was so cold and lonely."

His own heart ached. He began a string of apologies, but she quieted him. "Shhh, don't apologize. Make it up to me."

He felt that it would take a whole life to make it up to her, but he was willing to start then. He began venturing his hands all over her, feeling every crevasse, every curve of her body, while she clung to his shoulders, nuzzling his neck with little kisses that drove him mad. He wanted to take it slow, to enjoy every second of it, but Urmila was too eager in her passion, making him struggle to keep her pace... Only to have him reach the finish line too soon after starting the race.

His face burned with the shame of it. "I'm sorry... Umm... I... It-it's been a while," he mumbled a pitiful apology. He wanted to slap himself. Not even when he was a green boy had he embarrassed himself so thoroughly.

Urmila shook her head, and lay limp on top of him, burying her face in his shoulder. After a few moments, he felt her breathing become ragged and her tears dampened his shoulder. He opened his mouth to apologize again, but she spoke first, her voice a tremulous murmur, "Please don't ever leave again."

A hard knot lodged his throat. When he had parted all those years ago, they both have made promises of faithfulness and eternal love. But 14 years was a long time. They both had grown up and changed immensely during their separation. They had barely known each other back then, and now they were virtually strangers. His biggest fear upon his return was to find that she had grown indifferent of her distant husband, or worse, that she hated him for having abandoned her in the prime of her youth, when she had been ready to give him all the love that she possessed. And he couldn't have blamed her for it.

He had practiced for years what he would say, how he would ask for her forgiveness upon seeing her. But when he stood in front of front of her, he was speechless. He'd stayed frozen in place, not knowing what to do, for what it felt like an age but must have only been a few seconds. Until she overcame her own hesitation and thrown herself into his arms, crying that she had waited for him, had thought of him every day, and hadn't stopped loving him all this time. He'd lifted her up and spun her around, crying and laughing, and knowing himself to be so lucky that she had guarded her heart for him, as he had guarded his for her. He couldn't repay her loyalty by abandoning her again.

He made her face him, and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Staring into her eyes, he spoke; "Even if I had to leave, I would take you with me," he swore with a voice choked with emotions. "I won't spend another day away from you." The smile she gave him was shaky but it warmed his heart nevertheless.

Lakshman was a man of the Raghu clan, who were always true to their word. And he gave her his word then; that for as long as he lived, he wouldn't let her sleep in a cold lonely bed again.

[rosemakh]

The Bad Game

[Blurb: An innocent game of mini-golf takes a sinister turn when a family friend demands that Naomi make good on her bet. This deep betrayal leads to an impossible choice.]

[Author’s note: I wrote this in 2020. It’s loosely based on true events, as recounted by a friend of mine. This story is a tragic family drama. It deals with emotional abuse, manipulation, substance abuse, and other things that might trigger some readers (like most of my stories!)]

The driving lesson was over, so Naomi parked the old van and turned off the ignition.

"That was good, sweetie," Pastor Rob congratulated her from the passenger's seat, "You'll be able to get your license soon, for sure!"

Naomi shook her head and smiled sheepishly, "Maybe in a month."

They climbed out of the vehicle to stretch their legs and switch seats. Naomi hopped in and fastened her seat belt while Rob slid the driver's seat back. She giggled at some birds squabbling in the grass as he lowered his weighty girth into the van.

"How about some mini-golf?" He said, rather suddenly.

Naomi liked the game but she was tired. She'd been driving all morning and still had a pile of chores to do at home. She was also tired of being under the pastor's leering gaze. Spending the rest of the day with him -- followed by a Sunday of volunteering at his tiny church -- wasn't her idea of fun but he'd been kind enough to give her driving lessons when nobody else would. She was grateful to him, so she agreed to go.

On the way to the mini-golf park, Rob said, "How about a bet, this time?"

They'd played before but never with a wager. It seemed a little strange to Naomi, so she asked, "Like what?"

Rob kept his eyes on the road, "We'll play one round. If you win, I'll do any one thing you want and if I win, you'll do any one thing I want."

Coming from any other man, this kind of proposal would have alarmed her. But this man was like a grandfather to her. They'd known each other for years. He helped her family. He was goofy, humble, and generous. She trusted him.

She looked at him and nodded, "Yeah, okay! You'll probably just force me to go to lunch with you again or somethin', right?"

They both laughed.

They drove the rest of the way in silence with Elvis Presley crooning on the radio.

***

Naomi was usually pretty good at mini-golf but that day, she missed every shot. She almost felt as if an unseen force was affecting her game. Rob, on the other hand, was on a roll, banking his bright blue golf ball around plastic gnomes as if by magic and landing holes-in-one at both the lighthouse and crocodile lake. In dozens of games, she'd never seen him play so well and she'd never played so poorly.

As the game progressed, it became clear that she would lose the bet. A faint foreboding bloomed within her. She pushed it down and continued playing but by the end of the game, she'd lost by a huge margin. While they turned in their rented putters and balls, then made their way back to the van, Rob's face grew progressively pinched and dark.

Naomi sat in the front passenger's seat and fastened her seat belt. The edge seemed unusually sharp, digging into her neck as if trying to cut her. The earlier sense of foreboding bloomed again.

Rob yanked his door open, squeezed behind the wheel, mopped his sweaty forehead with one of his tree-trunk arms, and backed out of the parking space. A few feet ahead, a small gaggle of giggling women were crossing the lane. Rob, mouth gaping and eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets, moved his head to openly gawk at them in their tiny shorts and tank tops. Naomi was used to him doing that but, for some reason, she suddenly felt uncomfortable. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the car door. She watched his lecherous behavior out of the corner of her eye. He didn't detach his eyes from the ladies' bodies until they'd all piled into their car.

***

Rob pulled out onto the highway and stopped at a red traffic light. He gripped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead for a moment. A dangerous mood emanated from him.

Without looking at her, he grunted, "If I was the Mafia, you'd be in a lot of trouble right now."

Over the years, she'd seen him behave erratically. Sometimes his sermons would devolve into tales of bloody warfare, domestic abuse, and sexual assault. She knew the man had demons to fight but now it seemed he was about to use one on her. To prevent upsetting him, she didn't speak, but merely pressed herself hard against the door and looked away as the van accelerated.

He took a deep breath as if preparing to make an important announcement.

"Naomi," he said, "God showed me something last night. I was riding my bicycle like I do every night, and I looked up and saw you in the moon."

He sounded awestruck as if he'd witnessed a miracle.

"You were floating in the big full moon, wearing the most beautiful silver dress and slippers. Your hair was blowing all around you. You looked like an angel, just for me. I watched you and you smiled so sweetly, with so much love. And you reached your hands out to me and your dress blew and you were so beautiful. You stayed with me like that until I got back home."

Naomi couldn't think of anything to say. She continued looking out the window and prayed to God for safety.

When Rob parked in his driveway, Naomi had to will herself to move. She peeled herself from the door and opened it carefully. She wanted to run next door and call the police but slowly followed him into the big house, instead.

"Is your wife home?" She managed to ask as he swung the front door open.

"She's at Dorothy's piano recital at the college. They'll be gone for hours."

He led her through the cozy living room, past wholesome family pictures and walls filled with Christian crosses. Finely-crafted angel figurines looked on from shelves and tabletops as they passed. A desk in the corner housed a huge Bible, its pages edged with gold.

Rob positioned one dining chair so that it faced toward the backyard garden, then motioned for her to enter the tiny dining room and sit. She could see his wife's award-winning roses through the sliding glass door. Their yard was carpeted with soft, well-manicured grass. A set of cute lawn furniture sat on one side of the deck, overlooking a small swimming pool.

The dining chair didn't have arms, so Naomi awkwardly placed her hands in her lap. Rob suddenly stood in front of her, looming over her and blocking out the sun like a massive obelisk. To avoid his eyes, she stared at her hands.

His voice sounded above her, "I know you're a woman of God, so you'll honor your vow."

Barely a few inches in front of her, he knelt and pulled a ring box from his pants pocket. She stared at the box, praying it wasn't what she suspected. But it was. With bloated, hairy fingers, he flipped the top open to reveal a simple wedding ring. The gold-colored ring was etched with a diamond pattern to make it look like a normal ring but Naomi understood. Feeling as if she was in imminent danger, Naomi clenched her knees together tightly and thanked God she'd decided to wear jeans instead of a skirt.

He fixed his veiny bug eyes on her, "My sweetie, I've wanted to marry you since we first met when you were 14. These four years have been the happiest of my life. I know you feel the same way. God has shown me that you do."

Naomi tried rationalizing with him, "But you're already married. How will that work?"

He leaned toward her and his big belly pressed against her shins. He looked into her face like a lying boy that desperately wanted to be believed, "I've told you about that. It's basically an arranged marriage. I was 35 and our families put us together. We never loved each other."

"But it's a sin to violate your marriage vows. Besides, I don't feel that way about you, Pastor."

"But I know you do, sweetie," he nodded his head repeatedly, "God told me."

She shook her head furiously, "No!"

"It's okay, sweetie. Don't be afraid."

His fat belly pressed harder against her shins. The fleshy sensation made her feel sick, "You're old enough to be my father. Your daughter's older than me! It wouldn't work, I'm tellin' you!"

He continued, searching for ways to convince her, "And--and I know you don't want children so I got a vasectomy so you don't have to worry about that."

"Oh, God!" Naomi couldn't hold herself together anymore. Terrified, all she could do was tuck her head into her shoulder and sob.

"Sweetie--" He briefly touched her hand.

As if she'd been burned, Naomi drew her hands up to her chest.

He craned his blubbery neck to look into her face, "What's the matter, sweetie? Everything's okay. Haven't I proved that I care about you?"

He put one massive hand on her knee. Instinctively, she gasped and clenched her knees together tighter. She looked at the ceiling, gulping back sobs and biting her lip.

He placed the other hand on her lap, still holding the ring box, "Haven't I helped your family for the past four years. With your mom not working, what would you guys have done without me?"

She managed to choke out, "I appreciate everything you've done for us--" between sobs but couldn't continue.

"Oh, sweetie," His voice was tender as if speaking to a lover, "Don't cry. I know it's a big change," He waited a few moments for her to calm down but she was far too upset, "You're overwhelmed, my love. I'm sorry. I'll take you home now. Let's talk about this tomorrow after church."

Relieved to have a way out of the situation, she nodded shakily, "Tomorrow."

***

She'd managed to pull herself together and look somewhat normal by the time he pulled into her family's driveway. She scrambled out as soon as the van stopped.

Before she closed the door, he said, "I'll pick you up for church tomorrow, sweetie," and blew her a kiss.

She shut the door and willed her shaky legs to carry her up the cracked concrete walkway and into her family's shabby home.

She stepped into the living room in its usual state: Toys and dirty clothes littered the floor; Bowls of half-eaten cereal sat in small collections upon the tables; A sticky spill had congealed under the coffee table, next to the overturned cup that once held it.

She called to her young sisters, "Nancy, Nellie! Come clean up after yourselves, please!"

Nancy, 12, and Nellie, 5, stalked out of their room with mock annoyance. They glared at Naomi, stuck out their tongues, then collapsed into a fit of giggles.

"Cut it out, silly girls," Naomi said as she walked to the kitchen.

Their mother staggered out of the master bedroom and down the hall. She walked past Naomi without a word, opened the cabinet above the sink, and retrieved a large bottle of sleeping pills.

"Hi, Mom," Naomi said gently.

Her mother merely glanced at her, then opened the bottle. She moved almost robotically as if the effort of moving required all of her concentration and energy. She dropped three pills into her hand and swallowed them with a cold cup of coffee that was sitting on the counter.

"Are you okay, mom?" Naomi asked.

Naomi's mother turned to face her, "Never," and looked her up and down, "Look at you. You're so lucky. You don't have three mouths to feed."

Naomi stayed stone-faced and silent. Her mother said this often. The first time it happened, Naomi had made the mistake of talking back. She refused to make that mistake again.

With a surprising amount of force, her mother threw the open pill bottle against the sink's backsplash. Cloud-blue pills erupted from the bottle and fell haphazardly into the dirty dishes in the sink. A few landed in water and fizzed, creating bubbling islands of blue foam.

"I'm goin' to bed," her mother grunted.

Nellie, the youngest, peeked her head around the kitchen wall and held her toy bunny to her chin, "But Momma, you were in bed all day."

Their mother bent down and stroked Nellie's chubby face with a tenderness Naomi had not received from her in years, "Momma's tired, baby. Mommies get tired."

She stood up and snapped at Naomi, "Clean this place up!" then disappeared down the hall.

After their mother closed her door, Nancy strutted in and put a small pile of dirty cereal bowls on the kitchen table, "Where have you been all day, by the way? We've been stuck here with Mom and you've been out havin' fun!"

Naomi placed the bowls in the sink, "Believe me, nobody in this family is havin' fun."

Nancy took hold of her younger sister's hand, "Come on, Nellie, let's watch a movie while we wait for Naomi's crappy dinner."

"I like her crappy dinners," Nellie replied as they climbed onto the sofa.

"Oh, shut up, Nellie."

Overhearing the exchange from the kitchen, Naomi chuckled.

While preparing dinner, Naomi prayed for guidance. The thought of seeing Rob again made her feel sick, so she leaned over the sink for a few moments until the nausea subsided. Her mind raced with possibilities and none of them were good. If they stopped attending his church, she'd have to get a job. But she was just about to enter her last year of high school. If she quit school to work full-time, they'd probably never get out of poverty. On the other hand, if she stayed in high school and worked part-time, her sisters wouldn't have anyone to take care of them. Their mother was in no state to look after anybody and the girls were too young to take care of themselves all the time. She watched the pasta boiling on the stove. It roiled and raged like the thoughts in her head.

By the time dinner was ready, she had decided to turn him down and leave his church. She had no plan beyond that but she continued to pray and search for a solution.

***

Rob pulled into the driveway bright and early on Sunday morning. It was the sisters' responsibility to set up the church room in Rob's rundown beachside inn, so they had to get there before everyone else.

"Howdy-ho, kidderoos!" Rob greeted the girls as they headed towards the van.

Naomi checked to make sure the top button of her high-collar dress was done up and raised her hem slightly to keep it from dragging through the dew-covered grass. She picked up Nellie and strapped her into the front passenger's seat, then climbed into the farthest row of seats in the back.

Rob was watching in the rearview mirror, "You can sit up here with me, Naomi!"

"Nuh-uh! She said I can, Mr. Rob!" Nellie protested.

Beaming, Nancy spread her drawing books and art supplies across the middle row of seats and said proudly, "Oh, Yeah! So roomy! This must be what it's like not havin' any sisters! We should sit this way all the time."

"Well, that settles that," Naomi said as she pulled the van's sliding door shut.

He drove through the neighborhood slowly, glancing at the rearview mirror every few seconds, "Are you sure you don't want to sit up front, Naomi? Sitting next to the driver is great driving practice."

Naomi didn't take her eyes off her book, "No thank you. I promised Nellie she could sit there."

"What if you drive, instead, and I sit next to you?"

Nancy piped up, "No way. I don't wanna die today!"

All four of them burst into laughter.

Rob dropped the subject but repeatedly flicked his eyes to the rearview mirror during the 30-minute trip. Eventually, Naomi placed her backpack in her lap in an attempt to hide her chest from his searing glances.

***

The ramshackle inn was a place of refuge where vagabonds and penny-pinching tourists could enjoy a room on the beach for next-to-nothing. Rob did all the repairs himself but, unlike Jesus, he wasn't much of a carpenter. The floors were lumpy, sagging, and did nothing to muffle the sounds of footsteps. The paint was flaking in various places both inside and outside the building, and the bare, wooden staircases wobbled and creaked. It was a humble place for humble people.

Naomi and her sisters ascended the stairs into the common room and got to work converting the tiny space into a functioning chapel.

***

That Sunday's service was no different from any other. Pastor Rob led with a spirited, yet incoherent, opening message, which seemed to be nothing more than a collection of random Bible quotes from a desktop calendar. After the opening, he jumped straight into an equally spirited sermon about men and women and all the sex passages in the Bible. Although he didn't look at her, Naomi knew who he'd written that sermon for.

He spoke with fire and the attendees responded in kind, yelling "Preach!" and "Amen, brother!" at random intervals.

Two young women came out of an adjoining room and sat together on one side of the small space. They were dressed in tiny jean shorts and string bikini tops. Pastor Rob seemed unable to keep himself from glancing at them every two seconds to ogle their exposed flesh.

After the service, the pastor mingled with the attendees. None of the smiling people shaking Rob's hand were aware of Saturday's events and no one -- maybe not even the man himself -- knew what he was going to do when he got Naomi alone again. The spongy floor shook with each of Rob's massive steps as he traveled through the cheerful crowd. Naomi felt the vibrations in her core, like a war drum signaling impending doom.

***

Just after Noon, he pulled the van up to the girls' house. Nancy and Nellie got out and said their goodbyes.

Naomi made her way to the front passenger seat.

"We're off to do more driving lessons!" Rob explained to the younger girls.

He waited until the sisters were safely inside the house, then drove to a nearby playground. He pulled into an unpaved parking space facing the park, where some families were enjoying the mild weather and fresh air. Naomi was grateful to have other people around.

The pastor turned off the van and gripped the steering wheel so hard his pudgy knuckles turned white. They both stared silently into the park for a while.

Suddenly, without looking at her, he asked, "Are you playing with me?" and continued staring ahead, awaiting her answer.

Naomi gathered her courage and calmly replied, "No."

She looked at him. A sick red color was creeping up his neck. She had to get this over quickly, "I thought about it and I'm sorry but I don't feel that way about you. You're like a grandfather to me."

He growled a reply through clenched teeth, "How could you say that?" And looked at her from the corner of his eye, "You've been flirting with me for years."

Naomi couldn't believe he was the same man who'd been laughing it up on the beach just an hour ago, "What?!"

He unclenched his jaw but the edge in his voice remained, "We've played tag on the beach--"

"Only with my sisters!"

"We kissed in the back seat of this van."

Naomi scoffed, trying to hide her panic, "I got back there with you because you asked. I didn't know you were goin' to kiss me!"

Rob finally looked at her and erupted, "Why else would I ask you to join me in a back seat!"

She had accidentally sent him into a rage, possibly putting herself in physical danger, but she could no longer control her actions. The deep feelings of betrayal, disgust, and fear were too overwhelming.

She yelled in his face, "Why would you think I wanted to kiss you?"

Rob immediately lowered his voice -- a so-called psychological tactic he loved to use when things got heated, "You told me you were saving yourself for marriage."

Naomi yelled again, "I told you that as my pastor!"

He spoke slowly, "You also told me you felt uncomfortable about your strong sexual desires."

"I thought I could confide in you!"

He removed his hands from the steering wheel and turned his body toward her. Looking deep into her eyes, he spoke gently, "I know you're a godly woman. With me, you won't have to worry about anything. I promise I'll never hurt you. You can explore your desires with me safely. No diseases. No pregnancy. And I'll take care of you, your mom, and your sisters."

Naomi couldn't believe what she was hearing, "You're tryin' to bribe me with my family?"

"It'll be a sacred union."

"You're already married, Rob!"

"It's okay," He spoke to her as if talking to an upset child, "We'll keep it a secret. Nobody has to get hurt. God's chosen few have always been misunderstood. We both know nobody will understand our love."

She screamed at the top of her lungs, "We don't have a love! How could you? I trusted you!" She smashed her fist against the dashboard, "You and no one else! And you'd do this to me? Were you doin' this all along?"

Rob maintained a steady, soothing tone, "I didn't do anything. It's God's plan, my love."

"SHUT UP!"

Naomi's hands were shaking so badly, she barely managed to undo her seat belt. She reached for the car door handle.

Rob raised his voice slightly and scolded her, "You promised me! You're not a liar!"

Her anger spent, tears ran down Naomi's cheeks as she looked him straight in his eyes.

Her voice shook as she said, "I think Jesus will forgive me for this one."

She shoved the door open, got out, then slammed it shut with a frustrated roar. Startled people in the park, who'd heard them yelling, stared at her. Avoiding their gazes, she angrily walked away.

She'd traveled several feet before Rob finished hauling his heft out of the vehicle. He called to her, "Did you buy your sisters' school supplies yet?"

She stopped on the spot.

"Or your mom's medicine?"

She lowered her head, tears cascading down her face. Her entire body shook as she clenched and unclenched her fists. A swarm of dark possibilities swirled in her mind.

A child's scream and laughter yanked her back into reality. Instinctively, she looked in the direction of the sound. The squealing toddler was being pushed on a swing by his smiling dad. Mom looked on, laughing loudly.

Naomi stared at the happy family. Memories of carefree days floated up from the depths of her mind. She could feel Rob's eyes on her.

Without looking at him, she walked back to the van, threw herself into the seat, slammed the door, and waited. After a moment, Rob squeezed behind the steering wheel, watching her. Without a glance or a word, she pulled the musty seat belt across her body and fastened it with a heavy click. It pressed against her chest and lap, pinning her to the seat. She folded her hands in her lap in a failed attempt to keep them from shaking.

She stared at the horizon, blinking away hot tears and taking measured breaths. Aware of Rob's gaze, she pressed against the car seat and bit her lip hard. Her body shook with adrenaline and terror.

Rob continued to stare at her as he started the van. He seemed to be savoring the moment as he raked his hungry eyes up and down her body.

***

The pastor sat the last grocery bag on the kitchen table.

He checked to make sure nobody else was around, then pulled Naomi close for a quick kiss on the lips, "See you Saturday, my love."

He headed out the door. She bent over the sink and washed her mouth out with dish soap.

She dried her face as Nancy came around the corner.

"Was that Pastor Rob?"

Naomi nodded.

A mischievous smile crept across Nancy's face, "Gee, I'm sure glad you two didn't die in your drivin' lesson!"

Naomi was too numb to even pretend to laugh but she forced herself to smile as sweetly as she could at her silly little sister, "That was funny, Nancy."

"Duh!"

Naomi pulled an ice cream cake from one of the grocery bags, "Look what I've got."

Nellie appeared in the doorway, curious. Naomi knelt so the kids could get a better look.

Nancy gasped, "Wow! Are we celebratin' somethin'?"

Naomi forced a warm smile for her sisters, "Yes. We're celebratin' how much I love you."

Just out of sight, their mother muttered, "Bring me some o' that to my room, Nancy," then shuffled back down the hall.

"Oh, Momma likes it, too!" Nellie said, "Thanks, Naomi!"

Nancy pulled a plate from the dish rack, "Yeah, I guess you're okay, sometimes."

At that, the three of them stuck their tongues out at each other playfully.

Naomi turned and placed the ice cream cake on the kitchen table. The golden ring on her left middle finger caught Nellie's eye.

Nellie pulled Naomi's hand to her own face so she could get a better look, "That ring's fancy! I like the diamond shapes. Did it cost a lot?"

Naomi briefly flashed a smile, "Yes, it cost me a whole lot."

"I won't tell, but Momma might get mad if she finds out."

Naomi gently pulled her hand free and stroked her precious little sister's hair, "I think you're right, honey. I bet she would."

[asktheboywholived]

If I Could See Your Face Backstory:

(( OOC: Body-swapping concept inspired by the film “Every day.” )) 

The Soul Exchange: 

James Potter met Lily Evans in Flourish and Blotts three years before IICSYF takes place. He’d gone to pick up a copy of “Quidditch Through The Ages” and saw her standing behind the counter. He was instantly smitten. 

James, having not an ounce of shame in his entire body, and used to having girls fawn over him (considering his standing as a well-known quidditch player), attempted to chat her up.

Turns out, Lily didn’t know jack-shit about quidditch, nor did she find his joke about what “position” he plays very amusing. 

Needless to say, it didn’t go well.

The next day James begged his best mate, Sirius Black, to lend him his motorcycle. He desperately wanted to impress Lily and get into her good-books (pun intended).

On his way to the shop he got into a terrible accident, a result of careless motorbike flying and a rogue owl. The owl survived, but James fell into a coma. 

However, having a will of iron and a reckless nature, James’ soul refused to be trapped in a stagnant body and was thrown out, attaching to the first person on the scene, an Auror named Alastor Moody. 

The phenomenon is called a soul-exchange, or “walk-in”, and is extremely rare. It requires an obscenely strong will and is often confused with possession. Possession can only take place if either the inhabiting soul is willing and invites the other soul in, or is too weak to fight the invading soul. 

Two combative souls could not coexist in one body, and Alastor was forced into the only body available... James’. 

However, once James’ soul willfully left his body, it became untethered, and without the connection to his physical mind he was left unable to remember his past, only collecting information from the present. 

Eventually the will of the original inhabitant overwhelmed James’ own as Alastor took control of his body once again, causing a chain reaction that forced James to move on to the next available body with each passing day. 

With every exchange, the original soul of the host would be forced into James’ body at St. Mungos, where they’d spend a day in a dream-like state, unconscious. Because of this, James was unable to learn anything about where each soul would go when interrogating his previous hosts. 

After nearly half a year of selfish fuck-ups, where he managed to cause a lot of damage in the lives of his hosts and leave chaos in his wake, James began to make a conscious effort to cater to the host instead. It wasn’t fair of him to disrupt their lives just so he could live for a day. 

As the years passed, James, unable to find or be himself, began to lose himself. He learned how to dress the part, catering to each person’s style preference. He was a quick learner, and gained the ability to think on his feet, doing his best not to get anyone fired when he couldn’t call in sick.

Sometimes he mourned for other people’s losses, too. Even without its original soul, pain and grief could still linger in a body. Those were the hardest days. 

James tried to interfere with his host’s lives as little as possible. However, on one occasion he found himself inhabiting a particularly awful person, and turned himself into the authorities... but he doesn’t like to talk about that.

When James met Lily, a connection was reignited, since she was the last person his physical mind had thought about before his accident. As the connection grew stronger between himself and Lily, the connection to his body did as well. Eventually, the desire to ensure that he could keep his promise to Lily (attending her birthday party) drew him back to the one body that would ensure it happened – his own. 

James returned to his original body, but the soul was still untethered, having been separated for so long. It needed a solid connection, a desire strong enough to keep it anchored. 

That happened the moment James’ realized how much he loved the girl lying next to him in the hospital bed... someone who was willing to endure a future of hardship in order to keep him close. 

In that moment the soul and body reconnected and his conscious mind took over, the memories of his physical form returning – but not the memories imprinted on his soul. That required a deeper connection. 

That required Lily. 

IICSYF – AU WORLD BACKGROUND INFORMATION:

The wizarding war did not take place in this timeline. Prejudice is still at large and bubbling under the surface, but the scale has not tipped towards violence, and things are relatively normal... or as normal as anything can be in the wizarding world.

Schooling: 

Remus didn’t attend Hogwarts. With no wizarding war looming, Albus didn’t see a future need for him, and thus didn’t extend a hand. Remus was homeschooled by his parents instead, and spent a lot of his time engaging with the muggle world, where life was simpler. He eventually attended a muggle university.  

Sirius was forced to transfer to Durmstrang after disappointing the family by being sorted into Gryffindor. He ended up fleeing his family home at 14 because of the conditions and lack of support, living with his uncle Alphard instead, but continued to attend Durmstrang, grateful for the lack of contact with his family (his brother and cousins still attended Hogwarts). He played beater for Durmstrang’s quidditch team, something Alphard encouraged as a productive way for him to get out some of his pent up aggression... Sirius had a lot of aggression to vent. 

Sirius became a skilled player and, with the help of his uncle and his connections, was eventually picked up by the Montrose Magpies, one of the most successful teams in the league. 

James attended Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryffindor. His skills as a Chaser and captain for the Gryffindor team were unrivaled, and he was eventually scouted by several teams, settling with the Montrose Magpies, where he met Sirius Black. 

Lily attended Beauxbatons after her father was offered a job in France. It was there she became friends with Marlene, who had been sent there by her parents in a last-ditch effort to turn her into a “lady”. Though they may not have been successful in their attempts, she certainly developed an advanced interest in “ladies” instead.

After leaving school, Marlene, having family connections, secured a job at Flourish and Blotts. After a pulling a few strings, she was able to find an opening for Lily as well, who had been missing England. The two moved back to start the next chapter of their lives... as bookworms.  

Sirius and James: 

The infamous duo met after being drafted into the Montrose Magpies quidditch team. James immediately adored Sirius and his brash, aggressive attitude, even if he was a little rough around the edges. James’ easy-going nature and natural confidence was something Sirius admired and aspired to have. The two became fast friends in no time. 

A year after being drafted to the team, James’ parents passed away of Dragonpox. James, unable to stand living in the huge Potter estate by himself, moved into a flat in London near Diagon Alley, closer to Sirius (who was living in Alphard’s old flat, having lost his uncle recently as well). The two became as close as family. 

The flat that James moved into was in the same apartment complex that Remus and Marlene would eventually live in (hence why Remus walked out of his flat to find Sirius in the hallway).

After James’ fell into a coma, Sirius continued to stop by his flat to check up on things... which he did at least once a week, without fail, for three years. He was positive that James would wake up, and wanted to ensure everything was ready for him when he did.

When James awoke from the coma, Sirius, being listed as family, was the first person contacted.  

Remus and Marlene: 

Remus became friends with Marlene after meeting her at a local gay club. It was a muggle club, and it was Remus’ first time there. After watching the jumper-clad man sit at the bar for a solid twenty minutes without talking to anyone, Marlene took pity on the nervous newbie and became determined to show him a good time. 

After far too many drinks, the two of them had a long, sloppy conversation. Marlene could tell something was up, and Remus, with a bit of liquid courage and some pestering, eventually opened up to her. 

Having only attended muggle schools, having just lost his mother, and not wanting to burden his father with his problems, Remus had recently moved out of his family home... and he was in a tight spot. 

He had resorted to living in a one-room flat that could barely be called a room, and his job searching was producing abysmal results. He wanted to become a part of the wizarding world, but it seemed like his efforts were being constantly thwarted by prejudice. 

Things were not going well.  

Something he didn’t tell Marlene was the fact that he’d had a few close-calls in the muggle world due to a lack of understanding towards his condition... situations that he wasn’t aware of, like super moons and eclipses, that produced unexpected results. He was desperate to work his way back into the wizarding world in order to learn more about himself... but it was proving to be much harder than he’d anticipated to fit in.

After an emotionally vulnerable conversation, a couple of trips to the loo to empty the contents of his stomach, and a wobbly exit from the club... Well, Remus didn’t really remember the rest, but the next day he found himself in Marlene’s spare room with a “Welcome Home Bitch” cake on the bedside table, all of his belongings, and no recollection of how they had gotten there.

And that was how Remus Lupin became Marlene McKinnon’s roommate. 

Remus and Sirius: 

Sirius had passed by the muggle club on the corner several times with James on the way to their usual post-game-celebration pub. Every time they passed, his eyes would linger, and James, catching on, always offered to accompany Sirius inside (the proposition including an excessive amount of eyebrow wiggling, which always earned James’ a solid punch in the arm). 

Sirius had never gone in, but that night, standing outside and listening to the music thrumming indoors, he decided Fuck it. Tonight will be the night. 

~*~

It had been 6 months now that Remus had been living with Marlene, and he still couldn’t hold down a proper job. Today shouldn’t have come as a surprise, everyone found out eventually, but Remus had really liked his job and had hoped that this time it would last. 

His mistake. 

He knew Marlene wouldn’t care, she was unwaveringly supportive and laid-back about the whole thing, but he still dreaded telling her. She’d offer to get him a position at Flourish again, but Remus knew they didn’t need any more employees, and couldn’t stand living off of her charity. 

On his dejected walk home he’d halted outside of the familiar club. He’d only ever gone in once, but that one time had brought him to Marlene. Maybe this time... 

He didn’t want to go home, he didn’t want to be recognized by someone he knew, and he didn’t want to be sober – so might as well. 

~*~

Remus sat down at the bar, feeling nervous and sweaty in his jumper. It was hot, and the music was unnecessarily loud. He quickly ordered a drink, intent on drowning himself. 

Remus glanced to the side and froze, his eyes widening. 

Sirius Black was sitting next to him. As in... famous Quidditch player, ridiculously handsome Sirius Black. 

Remus glanced around, surprised that the man wasn’t being accosted by adoring fans – but they were in a muggle club, and Sirius was just another body among the masses. 

Remus tried to calm his breathing and focus on his drink, his eyes flitting constantly back to the dark haired man beside him in spite of his efforts to remain aloof. God, he wished Marlene knew more about Quidditch teams! She only had eyes for the Harpies (of course), and she wouldn’t be able to give him the appropriate response warranted for this remarkable chance encounter when he told her about it later.   

Sirius’ eyes were on the dance floor, his finger tapping against his leg with the beat. He was smiling comfortably, looking at ease.  

Remus nearly choked on his drink when Sirius turned suddenly, looking in his direction. He tried to play it off like he’d been sparing Sirius a passing glance as opposed to staring at him for the last five minutes – but if the smirk that spread across the other man’s face was any indication, Sirius hadn’t been fooled. 

Remus nearly jumped out of his skin when the quidditch star plopped down in the seat next to him, striking up a conversation as easily as lighting a match – which was dangerous considering the fact that Remus was about ready to explode. 

“Were you going for a bold, stylistic choice with the jumper, or are you just a glutton for punishment?” 

Remus glanced down at the jumper, which was starting to stick uncomfortably to his skin, and licked his lips nervously. “If I say it’s stylistic, will you kindly turn the other cheek when I collapse from dehydration? It’s kind of the look I’m going for, so...”

“How avant-garde of you.”

The conversation flowed naturally after the initial ice-break. Remus was surprised with how well they got on, although the conversation was fairly surface-level, neither of them wanting to reveal too much about themselves. 

It was fun, simple flirting, and Remus hadn’t had that in a long time.  

Sirius glanced down at one point, then grinned. “Is that a wand or are you just happy to see me?” 

Remus froze, glancing down, then slowly reached into his pocket, drawing the long wand out. 

Sirius’ eyes widened in shock, “Oh my god, it’s a wand!” 

Remus had been avoiding discussing the wizarding world, hoping to keep himself from acting like a fan-boy. Sirius was now staring accusatorially at him, as if he’d been lied to. He'd probably thought he was talking to a muggle.

Remus took a deep breath, desperately searching for something to say to cut through the tension, “So... I showed you mine...?” 

Sirius stared for a moment more, sizing him up, then snorted inelegantly. “Is that your pick up line?”

Remus laughed, relieved. “Did it work?”

Sirius stared for a moment, then nodded ever-so-slightly. “I’d say no... but the jumper kind of did it for me already, so really anything works at this point.” 

Remus choked on his drink. 

Sirius bit his lip, glancing hesitantly at Remus as he set down his beer. “... You doing anything after this?” Remus shook his head before his brain could catch up to his body, then cursed inwardly as a sly smile spread across Sirius’ face. “Well then, mind if I take you home?” 

“You want to walk me home?”

“No... I want to take you home. My place... but only if the jumper comes too.” 

“Well, I wasn’t planning on removing it tonight.”

“You can keep wearing it if you’d like.” Sirius shrugged, his grin broadening. 

Remus could feel the blush rising, his ears heating up. “I... I’m not really looking for anything right now,” he stammered, feeling the word-vomit rising to the surface as the anxiety took over, “I mean, I know I look incredibly put-together in my knitted jumper, but I have to be honest with you, my life is a bit of a mess–”

“You say right now,” Sirius cut in, drumming the counter lightly, his grey eyes piercing. “But am I safe in assuming you mean you’re not looking for anything later... Because I’m alright with right now if you’re not interested in later.” 

Fuck. 

~*~

Remus had never had a one-night-stand before. 

He was hesitant, but Sirius was fun and unfairly attractive, and he’d enjoyed the short time they’d spent together. He needed something uncomplicated, and Sirius was offering exactly that... so, why the hell not?

Turned out, a one-night-stand with Sirius Black was great. Really great.  

They had come to an understanding, and Remus left the next morning without waking the other man. It was only after that he realized... he’d never given Sirius a name.  

Part of him felt a twinge of regret, but that’s what he had wanted – a nice, uncomplicated memory to hold onto. 

Now he had one. 

~*~

Sirius had no idea that Remus was living in the same complex as James. Remus lived on a different floor, and he was always out job-hunting when Sirius stopped by around lunch for his weekly visits... but one particular morning, Sirius woke up at the crack of dawn, feeling peculiarly groggy. He shook his head, glancing at the ornate clock on the wall that had the time, date, weather forecast, and for some reason, the creative cuss-word of the day. That was uncle Alphard for you. 

Friday. Sirius had to double take. Friday? God, had he missed an entire day? He’d been sure it was Thursday. 

Strange. 

Friday was James’ day. Sirius dragged himself out of bed and made his way to the flat, knowing he wouldn’t make it in the afternoon and worried about James’ plants, which were looking a little grim and god-forbid he let a fucking cactus die, of all things. 

Sirius was preoccupied with his thoughts and accidentally got off on the wrong floor. He instinctively started making his way towards what he thought was James’ flat, all the floors looking exactly the same, when he heard someone calling out to him... 

That voice sounded familiar. 

[saltyluminaryvoid]

Firestarter Series Chapter three: Revelations of the Broken.

Chapter One 

Chapter Two 

Y/N Goode always had the beginnings of a villian. Born to two feared and hated families in New Orleans to the girl that consumed fire as she walked. From a young age Y/N had been left with the nickname Firestarter after the Stephen King novel of course. 

Fire had been the first power to be manifested when I was a babe, at first it was flowed with no purpose other than to show discontent when she cried over time that infamous Mikaelson temper reared its ugly head. Times like these made Fiona frightened, not for her daughter but rather for herself. Fiona Goode knew the consequences of her actions, what the coven would do if they only knew she sired a child with a Mikaelson of all people. She knew it wouldn’t be too long until a vengeful witch took to taking her frustrations on you. Except it did not happened that way exactly Madison was your friend, she was your friend and she betrayed you. At that moment, sitting in the cave you had wanted nothing more than to rip her throat out. As time went on you digressed from the violence and settled on making her pay. Let her think you were dead, let her feel relaxed and confident in her plan and then you would strike. 

Sitting there, Y/N couldn’t help but think back to her schooling days. Her days of glory, Y/N had always been infamous for starting fires in and out of the academy. Of course none could prove she was responsible, the police couldn’t pin a crime or charge on her if the cameras pinned her over the street of the burning building. Sooner than later Y/N fire abilities made her quite famous amongst the rival witch ancestral coven New Orleans and where the witches perked up at a chance to revolt the vampires set their sights there. 

The famous academy lied roughy twenty minutes away from the French Quarter in New Orleans Garden District. Each faction kept and maintained their own territories never really bothering with each other. The Original vampires and the first settlers drew the agreement and Marcel enforced it, you see Fiona had no care of the French Quarter the witch went as she pleased. And Fiona was more than pleased to see her rivals under lock and key. This changed when rogue vampire suprematists tried so foolishly to kidnap Y/N, they did not get far into this plan as coincidentally 14 year old Y/N dressed as her favourite book character Daenerys on Halloween. Only to live up to her favourite Queen Y/N burned them all where they stood, not allowing a guilty conscience to overtake her. She had to remind herself they were already dead and murderers after all. After this incident Y/N became notorious in the French Quarter and the nickname spreaded and stucked to Fiona's dismay of course.

As the sun began to set, Y/N rose her dark dress dragging behind her. The bottom was dirty with mud and her hair filled with leaves, the dried blood smeared across her mouth. You had really been going for a Witch Queen at Madison's pre Halloween party now you looked like a Vampiric Queen. But who would care it was Halloween and the vibrant music of the quarter filled your ears, there was no doubt the streets were packed with party goers and drunkards. Prefect Timing, there would be no one to pay attention to you.

It did not take long to reach the French Quarter, though your enhanced hearing was a bit overwhelming as you ventured closer to the abbatoir. It seemed the closer you got the more overwhelming everything became, the cave had been so quiet and barred but this was something new. And that's when you felt it the familiar and violent urge to sink your teeth into the nearest passing human. That seemed even more unbearable, as you pushed through the crowds all you really hear was the rhythmic beating of hearts taunting and pulling you into a daze. A daze that began to cripple your feet as your stomach growled for food, earlier restrain gone and now replaced with a black pitless void. A void no more, she was alive the vampire within you Valkyrie, the part that pushed forward and lunged towards her prey. It happened in a split second one moment you were in the midst of a crowd clawing your throat as your new fangs painfully expanded from here they pushed out your old canines to replace them. Now there was screaming as your new fangs sunk in your prey behind a dumpster where your vampiric ego Valkyrie flashed to.

Unbeknownst to you as you gorged feverishly a curious bystander approached to watch the show. Leaning against the alleyway a sinister smirk etched on his flawless face. "You know love, we have rules in the French Quarter and one of those include...... his thoughts stopped flowing as the vampire ahead him rose her head turning towards him for the first time. He was left utterly speechless, it was not your flawless beauty which shocked him but rather your eyes.

For the first time in his immortal life Kol Mikaelson was left without words. Those eyes that resembled his family's a trademark of an original vampire. Many theories swirled in his mind, how had a witch managed to make one of him. Esther had destroyed that knowledge a millennium ago and she would never surrender it to anyone. But as your eyes reverted back to brown Kol could finally see it the resemblance. How could he be so stupid, he had been so enthralled in his thoughts that be did not pay the slightest attention as to how much the two resembled. Kol cursed silently under his breath or more specifically at Klaus Mikaelson, his immortal tyrant of a brother.

“Well shit, things just went straight to a full on shit storm didn’t it dearest niece?”

The moon was high in the sky as Dahlia made her way through New Orleans. That moment she felt it, the ripple of pure, raw potential......magic. Then she could finally see, the walls concealing the child from her kin came tumbling down. Two girls out alone both dressed in black gowns in the midst of a verbal brawl. She focused her sight on the one with her guard down. Wrong move she thought, as the blonde witch used the opportunity to snap her neck. Dahlia watched on through her visions as her suspicions were confirmed another firstborn. Dahlia cracked on in hysterical delight as Y/N arose from the dead. For now she would allow Freya her fun, her plans just changed drastically in her favour. Soon she thought as she wandered into the bayou, soon she would have two additional powerful witches to ensure her bidding.

Soon, she thought.

[spnjediavenger]

Chapter 5: Man, Myth, Legend? Girl, Warrior, White Wolf

Disclaimers: I do not own Supernatural, any of its characters, or the lines from the episode I use in this.

Time frame: set mid S5

Warnings: SEASON 5 SPOILERS, MAJOR FEELS

Notes: Big thanks to @sarimaposthumous for proof reading my fic as always!

Not gonna lie, i got UBER emotional writing this XDDD

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! And much love to those who have liked and/or reposted!!! <3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

To say that Elliana was overwhelmed would be a drastic understatement. Since her less-than-perfect reunion with Sam and Dean, she and the boys had a mini catch-up session covering the following:

·      Sam and Dean ended up on a path before meeting Ellie that led to Lucifer, the freaking devil, being set free from a cage in hell (the boys thought it best to keep Elliana out of that mess until it became necessary)

·      Gabriel was trying to get them to play their roles as vessels for Lucifer and the archangel Michael so they could fight

·      The boys, along with Bobby, Cas, and two other hunters, Ellen and Jo tried to kill Lucifer but they failed and Ellen and Jo died in the process

o   This ended in Lucifer setting the four horsemen free, bringing the coming of the Biblical apocalypse

Along with this information, you could only imagine how the now 14-year old took to fighting one of said horsemen, coming across real-life zombies in Bobby’s hometown, the boys dying, dealing with a false prophet, and meeting the boys’ half-brother only to see him be abducted by angels.

Not well.

Not that she let it show much, but Ellie was definitely freaking out on the inside. If a teenager fighting plain old monsters was normal – this was abnormal for her; like a whole new level.

Given this fact – it was understandable that there hasn’t been a chance to slow down lately; hence the arrival at another motel.

Elysian fields.

It was dark and it was pouring rain like no one’s business, so Sam, Dean, and Elliana (Anaya sticking close by her side) ran into the building, trying and failing to shield themselves from the downpour.

Once inside, the trio took a moment to catch their breath, shake the water from their hair, and froze at the motel’s appearance. Their jaws slightly dropped at the higher-end furniture and décor, not used to places that nice.

“Nice digs for once,” Dean commented, looking around.

Sam could only nod his head in agreement, still a bit stunned from the shower outside.

Sam and Ellie stood together as Dean was checking in. Anaya let out a low growl at Elliana’s side as the hotel worker leaned forward a bit, examining Dean. He pointed out a small cut on Dean’s neck and handed him a tissue; Anaya kept her eyes locked onto the man and stepped a little closer to Ellie.

Ellie took the behavior into consideration and also eyed the man. He noticed this and simply smiled over at her.

“Beautiful dog. Siberian Husky, yes?” he said pleasantly.

Ellie narrowed her eyes a bit and nodded, also finding herself wary.

Dean finished signing paperwork and looked back to the receptionist. “You wouldn’t happen to have a coffee shop, would ya?”

“Buffet,” the man said. “All you can eat.” He leans in a bit an continues, “best pie in the tri-state area.”

Dean adopts a bit of a wonderstruck expression and smiles. “You don’t say.”

The group looks around the corner where the man had pointed and was indeed met with one amazing buffet layout. Ellie grabbed Dean’s arm before he could run in.

“Can I have one of the room keys?” she asked, eyes scoping out the place before resting on the boys again.

“Why don’t you grab something to eat first? You ok?” Sam was quick to jump in with the ‘worried older brother’ face.

“Yeah,” she said. “I just want to relax a bit before digging in,” she said, not wanting to ruin Dean’s eagerness yet.

Sam sighed but Dean handed her the key. “Stay out of trouble, then,” he said, smirking lightly. “We’ll be up soon.”

As Ellie and Anaya passed the front counter, Anaya leaned into Elliana once more and pricked her ears, lowly growling again as she looked to the receptionist.

Soon, they made it to the room and Ellie couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Compared to every place else she had stayed, this was like a 5-star hotel. She closed and locked the door behind her and jumped onto one of the beds, allowing herself to enjoy something for a moment. Anaya jumped up and lied next to her reluctantly, still wary of things.

Curled up next to her dog on a plush bed, it didn’t take long for Elliana to fall asleep.

“Who are you? Are you an angel?”

“I’m more of a…guardian if you will. Technically, sure, I’m an angel; but more of a rogue. Just someone that heard your prayer and came to help. Speaking of which – not to put a damper on the already dampened mood, but I need you to go pack your normal and your hunting things and we need to go because that demon will come back for you.”

“Wait – how did you know I hunt?”

“Guardian,” the figure said, shrugging a bit. “Now, things, go, no pressure but we should kinda hurry.”

 “Ok, Ellie, you’re doin’ great, kid. We’re gonna stop here for a bit,” Gabriel says, sitting down on a bench with the girl. “I can’t stick around much longer. I have a lot of things to attend to,” the archangel explained. “There’s a motel not far from here. You go in and tell them your parents dropped you off and told you to check in-“

“Like in Home Alone 2 when Kevin checks into the Plaza Hotel?” Elliana said a bit excitedly, despite the things she just witnessed.

Gabriel chuckled a bit. He knew there was a reason he answered this prayer.

“Exactly,” he said, a small smile on his face. “Avoid the workers as best you can but leave the moment you wake up. Don’t give them a chance to ask questions or see much of your face if you can help it. You’re young and they’ll find out something’s up and probably call the police or social services or something.

“You’re young. You shouldn’t have to live like this but you do. But I’ve watched over you for a couple months and know you can handle it.”

Elliana was scared, of course; but she knew this was coming for a while. And she was determined to make it work.

So the girl nodded her head at the man and he smiled again.

“Now, I won’t be there every second with you, but if you really need me – just pray for me, ok? And take this with you.”

Gabriel handed the girl a small necklace. She took it and laid it over one of her hands and examined it. It had a silver chain with a silver crescent moon, a circular pendent with a white wolf hanging in its center.

“Wolves are strong and tough and smart. Just like you. I believe in you, White Wolf.”

Elliana smiled and looked up at him. “Thank you, Gabriel.”

 Elliana was woken by Sam gently shaking her shoulder. She had only been out for maybe an hour while the guys were downstairs and they found her asleep when they came up.

Dean, like Ellie, was in awe of the room but Sam looked as uncertain as Ellie had felt earlier.

“Isn’t this place kind of in the middle of nowhere?” he asked.

“Yeah?” Dean replied, trying not to care.

“So what’s a 4-star hotel doing on a no-star highway?”

“And as much as I hate to admit it too, Sam has a point. And not only that, but Anaya was acting on-edge in the lobby with the receptionist. She’s only ever like that for a reaso-“

Ellie is cut off by the couple in the room next to them being particularly loud with their activities. Dean starts to smirk before Anaya lets out a bark before the wall between the two rooms is pushed in with a bang.

The trio goes to check out the room to find it trashed, and Dean catches a glimpse of an engagement ring on the floor. They all look at each other, eyebrows raised, when Dean suggests they do some digging.

“Ellie, Sammy and I are gonna head downstairs to see what the bellhop creep knows about this. Why don’t you and Anaya sniff around the room a bit then head back to ours? We’ll meet you back up here in a little bit.”

Elliana nodded and they split ways.

She turned back to Anaya and drew two fingers out towards the room; “Search, Anaya,” she commanded lightly before taking a look at things as well.

Upon finding nothing of significance, Ellie and Anaya returned to her and the boys’ room. She waited a little while before texting Sam to see if they found anything. After a few minutes, Ellie started getting suspicious, as the boys usually responded to her almost right away (well, Sam did anyway).

“Come on, Anaya,” Ellie said, opening the door but stopping in her tracks when she was met with the receptionist. “What are you doing here?” Ellie said, a challenging tone in her voice..

“Sorry,” he said. “It’s best if you stay up here.”

“Where are Sam and Dean?” Ellie challenged again. Anaya stalked over to the two, lowering her ears and snarling at the man before her. He looked at her with a certain look in his eyes that made Elliana want to shoot him. “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you. She’s fought werewolves and vampires and other monsters like you. She won’t hesitate to fight you too. And neither will I,” Elliana threatened, pulling a knife from her jacket.

The man flicked a wrist and sent Elliana and Anaya flying back a few feet onto the floor and he shut the door, warding the room to keep them inside.

“Hey!” Ellie yelled, running forward to grab the doorknob, pounding on the door when it wouldn’t open. She pulled out her phone and tried texting and calling Sam and Dean but she no longer had service. And unknown to her, the boys were downstairs being used as bargaining chips to a room full of deities.

           Ellie rakes her hands through her hair and turns around, only to let out a surprised scream when she sees a figure sitting on the couch across the room. Out of instinct, she throws her knife at it but it’s stopped in the air just inches from the figure’s face.

           “Jeez. A ‘nice to see you’ would’ve been better, I think,” a cheeky voice said. Elliana finally focused to find Gabriel closing her knife and tossing it on the ground as he stood up and walked over to her. He smiled and opened his arms expectantly but was instead met with a fist to the cheek.

           A shout of pain was let out but not by the archangel.

           Gabriel looked down with a raised eyebrow at Ellie, who was bent over, fist pulled into her chest.

           “Ok, 1: you know that does pretty much nothing; and 2: what was that for?!” the archangel said, extremely confused at the moment.

           “What the hell, Gabriel?!” Ellie yelled, standing up now but still clutching her hand. “Why would you take Sam and Dean and not even say anything to me?! You knew I was with them! You didn’t think it right to even give me an explanation when I left?! I thought they abandoned me, you jerk!! I was hurt!”

           Ellie looked angrily at Gabriel, but had tears in her eyes remembering how bad she felt thinking Sam and Dean had left her. Gabriel saw this in her eyes and sighed, feeling a little guilt start welling up in his chest.

           “Ok, E – I really am sorry. I was stupid and didn’t think about how taking them would affect you. And I know this isn’t an excuse but I had to figure some things out once they left and I got side tracked from you. Now, I admit I still don’t like those idiots,” this earned a glare from Ellie, prompting Gabriel to hold a finger up for her to be patient. “But, I know they’ve taken good care of you and should have remembered that. Can my ladybird forgive me?” Gabriel took Ellie’s hands and, though he was serious in what he said, gave her his best puppy-dog eyes that would rival Sam’s.

             “Come on, kiddo,” Gabriel begged the teenager, who had her back to him.

           Elliana had just finished a hunt; it was just a simple salt ‘n burn but one of the victims had ended up in the hospital. Because I was too late, she though sadly. Gabriel had ‘the talk’ with her about how you can’t save or keep everyone completely safe. And she understood that. At least that’s what she said. But the girl still beat herself up over it.

           So here was Gabriel, an archangel for Chuck’s sake, begging a teenage hunter to ‘turn that frown upside down’ (yes, he actually said that).

           Gabriel sighed and appeared in front of Elliana, taking her hands in his, making her look at him.

           “Come on, little wolf. I know you know you can’t blame yourself. And think about it – if you hadn’t been there, that person could have died. But you were. And they didn’t.” Gabriel saw the corners of her lips tug a bit. “So, please don’t be so hard on yourself. For me. Pwease?” he added with a childish voice, pushing his bottom lip out and giving her puppy-dog eyes. Ellie giggled as he did this, making the archangel give a triumphant smile and gave his little wolf a kiss on the head.

             Elliana, of course, couldn’t help but smile a bit at that (it was a curse that she almost always gave into that look, and even more of a curse that Gabriel knew it). She sighed a bit, looking over at Anaya, who was wagging her tail enthusiastically at the archangel, and looked back up.

           “I guess so,” she said with a small smirk.

           Gabriel chuckled a bit and hugged her. “That’s my girl.” He bent down to greet the overly excited dog next to Ellie, turns out she had a soft spot for the archangel too, then stood up to look at Elliana seriously again. “Ok, down to the reason I’m here. You guys have driven into a big trap, as I’m sure you’ve already deduced. Your boys down there? They’re currently in the hands of a bunch of gods who want to use them as game pieces in the Lucifer’s-apocalypse-and-Michael-wants-to-fight-him game. Now, before you freak out,” he continued, raising a finger again when Ellie’s face dropped in shock. “Give me two secs to save their butts and I’ll be back.”

           With a snap of his fingers, Gabriel vanished.

           Elliana looked over to Anaya, eyes wide and jaw slightly dropped. What the heck is happening? She thought.

           Not a minute later, Sam and Dean appeared on the other side of the room, both looking thoroughly confused.

           “Ok, what the – holy crap!” Dean said, looking at Sam.

           “Guys!” Ellie called, running to hug them both.

           They hug her back and Sam looks at Dean. “By the way, next time I say let’s keep driving, uh…let’s keep driving,” he said.

           “Ok, yeah. Next time,” Dean snarked.

           “Alright, guys, enough,” Elliana huffed, getting their attention. “You can have your dumb brother fight later,” she continued, earning a double bitch face from the Winchesters. “We’re in kind of a big situation right now and we need to figure out what to do next. So what’s our play?”

           “Well, there’s gods in the ballroom and a bunch of people in the kitchen freezer,” Sam filled Ellie in.

           “Alright so…I-I…I don’t know,” Dean started, wracking his brain for what to take care of first. “I guess we grab those poor saps outta the freezer, bust ‘em out? Gank a few freaks along the way if we’re lucky?”

           “And when are you ever lucky?” Gabriel’s voice cut in.

           The trio looked over to see him sitting on the couch again, amusement in his eyes.

           “Ok, you know what? Bite me,” Dean snapped. “You know, I should’ve known. This had your stink on it all from the jump.”

           “Dean-“

           “You think I’m behind this? Please. I’m the Costner to your Houston. I’m here to save your ass,” Gabriel defended himself, though keeping his usual humored façade.

           The guys looked at him confused.

           “You want to pull us out of the fire?” Dean said, still the only one to speak.

           “Bingo. Those gods are either gonna dust you or use you as bait. Either way – you’re uber-boned.”

           “Wow, ‘cause a couple of months ago, you were telling us that we need to ‘play our roles’. You were uber-boning us.”

           “Ohhhh, the end is still nigh,” Gabriel said, tilting his head pointedly. “Michael and Lucifer are still gonna dance the lambada,” he continued, dancing between the brothers a bit. “But not tonight. Not here.”

           “And why do you care?”

           “I don’t care…but…me and Kali, we uh…had a thing,” Gabriel forced out a bit awkwardly, but composed himself as he continued, “Chick was all hands.”

           Sam and Dean threw him a look.

           “What can I say? I’m sentimental. And I’m here for this one too,” Gabriel added, pointing over to Elliana.

           Now both guys narrowed their eyes in confusion.

           “Ellie?” Dean said.

           “Elliana, you know Gabriel?” Sam asked, finally speaking.

           Ellie’s cheeks burned just the slightest bit from the sudden attention. “He uh…he was the one that saved me from the demon.”

           “Him?” Dean said incredulously, pointing at the archangel.

           “Yeah, poke fun all you want,” Gabriel said, rolling his eyes. He didn’t expect the Winchesters to credit him with anything of the sort. “If it wasn’t for her, I would’ve let you guys down already.”

           Sam, Dean, and even Ellie rolled their eyes at his remark. But they continued talking, trying to form a plan to escape, and to try and free the people stuck in the freezer as well. Gabriel was going to try and break the blood spell on the boys while Sam, Dean, and Ellie would let the guests out. Before they temporarily parted, Gabriel snapped Anaya into the Impala to keep her safe because he said ‘one of the gods downstairs wouldn’t give a passing thought to eat her in front of you’ – that was more than enough of a reason for Ellie.

           The group snuck downstairs into the kitchen; Sam began to pick the lock on the freezer while Dean and Elliana tried and failed to stop the men that came in to stop them. So once again, the Winchesters (with Elliana now) found themselves surrounded by the deities.

           Soon enough, Gabriel was brought in by Kali.

“Well well well,” she said, looking vaguely betrayed as she stared down at him. “Looks like the trickster has tricked us.”

“Kali…don’t…” Gabriel said, lightly pleading with her.

“You’re mine now.” The goddess of destruction sat herself on Gabriel’s lap. “You have something I want.” She ran her hand down his chest, moving it into his jacket to pull out his angel blade. “An archangel’s blade…from the archangel…Gabriel.”

Elliana’s eyes widened and Dean had to put a hand on her shoulder, silently communicating to her not to do anything drastic just yet.

“Ok! Ok! So I got wings. Like kotex,” Gabriel said in a ‘who cares’ tone. “But it doesn’t make me any less right about Lucifer.”

Kali now stood, looking down at him again.

“He’s lying. He’s a spy.”

“I’m not a spy. I’m a runaway,” he said matter-of-factly. “I’m trying to save you. I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can’t beat him. I’ve skipped ahead – seen how this story ends-“

“Your story,” Kali corrects him. “Not ours. Westerners, I swear” she shakes her head. “The sheer arrogance. You think you’re the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God’s name. You’re not the only village. And He’s not the only god. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You’re wrong,” she continued, voice breaking. “There are billions of us. And we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world…it’s me.” Kali leaned down and caressed Gabriel’s face. “I’m sorry.” She slid the angel blade through Gabriel’s abdomen, causing light to stream from his mouth and eyes.

“Nooo! Gabriel!!” Ellie shouted, jumping up from her chair, only to be pulled back by Sam. “No!” she cried, fighting against the younger Winchester, who only held her tighter. She eventually stopped fighting but stared at Gabriel’s body as tears streamed down her face.

“This is crazy,” one of the room’s occupants commented.

Kali simply stood there, also staring at the dead archangel. “They can die,” she said in finality. “We can kill Lucifer.”

Discussion continued and Dean stood up, bargaining with the deities. Sam bypassed the shock at Dean’s actions to quietly comfort the girl in his arms. Elliana felt like her heart was ripped to shreds; as if that blade went through her heart instead of Gabriel’s. That angel meant the world to her.

Once Dean was able to convince the deities to allow him to set the hotel’s other inhabitants free, he walked over to Sam and Ellie, telling them to follow him. Ellie reluctantly followed the brothers to the kitchen.

As Dean was ushering everyone out of the hotel quickly, a hushed voice called his name from the Impala. He looks over and his eyes go wide as he sees Gabriel ducking in the backseat, motioning for him to get over there.

  “Ellie, I really wish you’d wait in the car. I know you want to stay with us, but this is headed in a much different direction than we thought, ok? Lucifer is going to be here. And we don’t want you getting caught in any crossfire,” Sam said, looking desperately into Elliana’s eyes.

“Sam, please,” she whispered, eyes still holding tears from earlier. “I just lost Gabe…I won’t lose you guys too; I can help you.”

  “Well good luck with that. Me? I’m blowing Jonestown. Those lemmings in there wanna run off a cliff, that’s their business,” Gabriel said in his conversation with Dean, sold on wanting to leave this whole situation.

“I see right through you, you know that? The smart-ass shell, the whole ‘I could give a crap’ thing? Believe me, it takes on to know one,” Dean said, narrowing his eyes at the archangel.

“That so?” he replied, tilting his head as he nonchalantly pet the dog sitting in the back seat with him.

  “Not that I doubt you, because I don’t – but are you sure you can handle this?” Sam asked, searching the girl’s eyes in front of him as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

Ellie sighed and looked down. “No,” she whispered, then looked up at Sam. “But I couldn’t handle that demon either.”

  “Yes. And maybe those freaks in there aren’t your blood but they’re your family.”

“They just stabbed me in the friggin’ heart!”

“Maybe. But you still give a crap about them, don’t you?” Dean continued, knowing he was starting to hit close to home.

“Dean.”

“They’re gonna die in there without you.”

“I can’t kill my brother,” Gabriel said, defeated.

“Can’t or won’t?” Dean challenged. Gabriel cast his eyes to the side, remaining silent. “That’s what I thought.” Dean went to open the car door but turned back to the archangel. “Elliana is in there too, ya know. And she’ll die without you too. Me and Sammy may never get it, but the kid loves you. And I can tell you care about her too,” Dean continued, trying one last time.

Gabriel felt a tug at his heart; he had been hoping Dean wouldn’t mention Ellie for this very reason.

At Gabriel’s continued silence, Dean sighed and got out of the car.

Dean rejoined Sam, Ellie and the others in the hotel. Most of the deities fanned out, leaving Kali and Baldur in the ballroom with the trio. Like Sam, Dean had tried to convince Elliana to wait in the car, only to receive a sad chuckle.

“You don’t get it, do you? I’m with you guys. Through everything. I’m in this mess by my own choosing and I’m not letting you do it without me,” she told him, raising an eyebrow with a light smile. Her smile faded soon as she continued, “And I want to do it for Gabe too…”

Dean was about to tell her Gabriel was still alive when the lights began to flicker violently.

“What’s going on?” Baldur said, glancing around the room.

“It’s him,” Sam said, unconsciously pulling Elliana closer.

“How?” Kali asked, not expecting Lucifer until they removed the enochian symbols from Sam’s ribs.

“Does it matter?” Dean spoke up. “Shazzam us outta here, would ya?”

“We can’t,” Baldur said, fear lacing his voice the smallest bit.

“Of course you can’t,” a voice instantly grabbed everyone’s attention. Their heads all snapped up to the figure standing in the open doorway. “You didn’t say ‘mother, may I?’”

Lucifer lightly smirked as he took account of who stood in the room before him, of course stopping on the Winchesters.

“Sam, Dean. Good to see you again. And who’s this with you?” Lucifer asked, tilting his head in curiosity as he looked at Elliana. “New travel buddy? I’m Lucifer - though I’m assuming you already knew that,” he continued, talking directly to her now. “What’s your name?”

“Go to hell,” Ellie said coldly, not showing the slightest bit of intimidation.

“Oh, I just got out of there, sweetheart,” he easily countered.

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she spat, taking a challenging step forward. Sam and Dean pulled her back, causing Lucifer to smirk.

“I like her,” he said to the boys. “Feisty.”

Kali muttered to Baldur, who had started walking towards Lucifer with a dominant gait. The boys took a few slow steps backwards with Elliana as the deity gave a short, angered monologue to Lucifer, ending with him consequently ripping Baldur’s heart out.

As Lucifer threw his body to the ground, Kali became enraged and threw a fire attack at him. At the growing physical conflict, the boys and Ellie jumped behind one of the overturned tables in the room to duck in cover.

“You guys ok?” Sam asked his brother and Ellie.

“Not really,” Gabriel’s voice replied before either got the chance. All three looked behind Dean to face him – Dean being shocked Gabriel came back and Sam and Ellie shocked that he’s alive. “Better late then never huh?”

“Gabriel?“ Elliana said, tears welling up in her eyes again. “What- you…you were-“

“It’s ok, E. I’m here. Hang tight ok?” Gabriel turns to Dean, handing him a DVD. “Guard this with your life.”

Gabriel went to stand up, but Elliana moved around Dean and quickly grabbed his arm. “Gabe, no. You’re not doing this by yourself,” she said, voice shaking.

The archangel let out a quick sigh; he was hoping to make this a quick exchange to avoid a conversation like this, but of course had no such luck. “This is the only way for you guys to escape. It’ll be ok-“

“No!” Ellie said again in a harsh whisper. “I’m not leaving you here!”

Gabriel fought back the sting in his eyes and he looked over at the brothers. “Please,” he said. “When it’s time, make her leave,” he continued, staring at them determinedly, though his own voice shook a little. “You make her leave.”

They nodded a bit sadly and held a struggling Ellie when she went to grab Gabriel again.

The archangel gently took her face in his hands and planted a kiss on her forehead, making her freeze in her struggles. “I love you, little wolf.”

Gabriel got up and struck a hand out, throwing Lucifer across the room, into the far wall before he could stomp on Kali.

“Luci, I’m home,” Gabriel said as he stepped into view. “Not this time,” he stopped Lucifer’s advance, holding up his angel blade as he helped Kali up. “Guys! Get her out of here,” he called to Sam and Dean over his shoulder.

The boys walked over and did as he said. They and Elliana headed towards the door, Gabriel standing in front of them protectively as he kept a hard stare on Lucifer. As they neared the exit, Ellie stepped out to Gabriel again.

“Gabe, please, please come with us,” she begged quietly.

“Guys,” Gabriel said again, unable to keep his voice from quivering and tears from stinging his eyes.

Sam took Elliana’s arm but she pushed him away, running back for the archangel so Dean moved up, grabbed her, and threw the girl over his shoulder, leading the rest of the group out of the room.

“Gabe, no! Nooo!! Gabriel!!” Ellie screamed hoarsely as she tried to free herself from Dean.

Gabriel closed his eyes and twitched his neck to get his head back in the game and confront his brother.  Though he supposed it wouldn’t make too much of a difference. This was a fight he knew he wasn’t going to walk away from.

Sam, Dean, Ellie, and Kali got outside and to the car – the goddess in the front seat with Dean, and Sam in the back with Anaya and Ellie once Dean set her down. The girl made one last, albeit weak attempt to go back to the hotel, but Sam pulled her into his side.

Elliana stared out the Impala’s window for as long as she could, hoping for any sign that things would work out for the better, but was only met with a bright white light flashing from the ballroom windows, forcing a sad cry from Ellie. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth and she squeezed her eyes shut. Dean looked in the rearview mirror at Sam, both boys hurting to see her like this.

“Come here,” Sam whispered, pulling Ellie into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. Soft cries and whimpers escaped Ellie as she clutched onto Sam as if he was her lifeline. Sam quietly shushed Elliana, one hand rubbing calming circles on her back, the other gently cradling her head. He had helped her at least slow her breathing, but tears still flowed from her eyes and a soft cry escaped her lips every now and again.

All the emotions had been eating away at her energy and she started becoming tired. As her eyelids drooped, her head slowly fell against Sam’s shoulder. And everything she had felt before was amplified now, since she knew Gabriel definitely wasn’t coming back this time.

Chapter 5.5 ->

[life-as-a-teenage-squid]

The Last Trip

Friday evening, January 14, 2017. Trying to find something to do for the night. Finally, the first weekend with you after getting back from the break. New semester, new adventures. You asked if we wanted the adventure we had back in the summer. I thought it was a wonderful idea.

I laughed on the way to Chickfila, laughing at your singing and enjoying your company. I thought I could do this forever with you. We got out of the car and looked at the moon, discussing how beautiful it was. It was a full moon, white and shining on your face, showing every detail. Your eyes, God your eyes They were shining and having a gentle, brown color to them. We made the exchange and went back to your place. You worried that our minds would wander to dark places, so we made some rules to make sure we were both going to be okay during the trip.

9:15 on the dot. The strip of paper on our tongues and going down our throats. We decided to play out the night, making a to-do list. Mario Kart, watching Tame Impala videos. Those videos were your favorite to watch during an adventure. We started watching the kaleidescope, the first thing to do, listening to Tame Impala. The colors started getting brighter and more beautiful. Reds, purples, blues and greens all coming towards us in a wonderful way. I knew you saw it differently, but I saw flowers and beauty in the patterns and colors. I told you I loved you more than anything and you said that this feeling is like falling in love with me for the first time again. I felt an overwhelming happiness to be in your arms and hearing you say that.

The video ended and we started watching your tapestry on the wall. The patterns moving and changing while we sat in silence. I felt your lips touch my cheek and then your mouth on mine. Your hands on my body, caressing me and my mind felt your mind. We moved to the bed, your naked body on mine. I felt the wonderful feeling and our souls connecting, making one person. We stopped to catch a breath for a moment.

Darkness in my mind. Tears running down hitting your chest. What is happening? Just a moment ago I was happy. I became scared you were going to leave me, but you reasurred that everything was going to be okay. We stopped and decided to draw to take my mind off the pain I was feeling and the darkness creeping in. We drew our pictures and we sat back down to watch Netflix. I can't remember what we were watching, my mind was somewhere else, thinking horrible thoughts. We talked and you went to the beginning of ending things. I had to step away from you to avoid the entire sentence, so we talked more.

We ended up talking about our whole life stories and future plans. The longest span we have talked in months. You didn't see me in your future, and I could see it on your face. 1:30 a.m., finished with our conversation and all the darkness in my mind came up into the toilet of your bathroom. You kept asking if I was okay. We tried not to wake your mother and step-dad up while being at our peak of the night. Afterwards, we laid on your bed to sleep, but sleep escaped from us for hours.

5:00 a.m., coming down from the high. I told you that it was the worse adventure and I won't be doing it again. What happened during the trip terrified me to my bones. You didn't want me anymore and you tried to put me down easy, but in reality, you killed me in the worse way possible. We held each other for an hour or so, but I wasn't counting. Who could focus when your life has fallen apart in a matter of one night anyway? So much can happen. My heart was stabbed endlessly. I finally was able to cry myself to sleep at around 8:00 a.m.

Waking up and seeing you on the couch. The memories of the night before came back to me. You finally woke up, I hope you didn't hear me crying on the bed. We talked more, making sure you wanted this. Hours later, I walked out the door, saying my last goodbye and not wanting to leave the porch. It's been months since then, but why do I still feel like that night happened so recently? I know you've moved on by now, but I guess that's what happens when you didn't love someone as much as you said you did. You have a heart and mind, using medication for the pain, while my heart has been long gone and my mind still holds on to the final trip we went on.

[tipsycad147]

Circling back to magick: 55 ways to live a more spiritual life every day

Posted by Michelle Gruben on Mar 20, 2019

Working magick can transform your life, but the last time you felt its full power was…well, a while ago. Burnout happens.

No matter how experienced you are, or how dedicated you are to your Craft, sooner or later you will find yourself stuck in a rut. You may feel uninspired or disconnected from what drew you to magick in the first place. It’s time to get back to basics, re-charge, and reconnect with your super-awesome witchy self.

There are dozens of simple rituals and practices that can help the erstwhile Witch recover their mojo. Most people hear “ritual” and think of an elaborate ceremony with candles and chants, but it doesn’t have to be that way. For the sake of this guide, I’ve stretched the definition of ritual to include any purposeful action, no matter how small. The actions are the 55 items in this article, and the purpose is getting you back in step with your personal magickal path.

I compiled this list with the intermediate practitioner in mind. But beginners can use it, too. If you don’t know how to work with energy, draft a sigil, cast a circle, and so on…don’t worry about it. Those are skills you can learn later. In the meantime, just do any of the exercises that appeal to you.

Some of the items on this list require an investment of time or money, but most are things you can do with little planning ahead. The focus is on feeling more magickal right now—not in the future, and certainly not in the past.

A few of the items on this list may not seem specifically magickal, because they’re focused on the basics of self-care. Remember the Hermetic axiom: As above, so below. As within, so without. If your body, mind, and spirit aren’t in top condition, then any metaphysical work that you attempt will yield subpar results.

So here are some tried-and-true ways to invite more magick into your life. You can do these little rituals in any combination and in any order:

1. Get moving! Physical activity clears out blockages and sluggish energy. Finish a home project, go for a run, take a yoga class, have sex—anything active.

2. Take an inventory of your magickal tools and supplies. Refresh and re-consecrate your favourite items. Retire anything that no longer serves your magick.

3. Visit with an elder in your spiritual tradition.

4. Treat yourself to a new magickal book (or revisit an old favourite).

5. Spend time with an animal familiar or pet.

6. Do a solo meditation or energy session. If you have trouble getting motivated on your own, download a video or podcast to guide you through it.

7. Update your altar. Out with the dust, in with fresh items that fit the season and your current magickal mood.

8. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and read/scry the tea leaves or foam.

9. Take the scenic route. The beauty of the world outside is inspiring, whether it’s a tree-lined road or the marvellous lights of the city at night.

10. Don’t wait on the calendar to do magick: Take note of the current season, moon phase, day of the week and select (or write) a simple ritual that you can do today.

11. Take a sacred bath—complete with salt, candles, and anointing oil to make you feel like the God and/or Goddess you are.

12. Re-visit your dream journal or Book of Shadows. Sometimes, seeing how far you’ve come can be the push that helps you keep going.

13. Soak up some sunlight or moonlight (Witch’s fuel)!

14. Find a devotional poem or invocation that inspires you and read it out loud. (Stumped? You can’t go wrong with the Charge of the Goddess.)

15. Write a note of gratitude to someone who has helped you on your magickal path. This could be an author, teacher, spirit being, or friend.

16. Charge a Quartz crystal under the full moon and place it under your pillow to encourage lucid dreaming.

17. Identify a magickal skill you’ve always wanted to learn (pendulum dowsing or writing chants, for instance) and take the next step. Sign up for a class, grab a beginner’s book, or track down someone who has the knowledge you seek.

18. Teach a beginner’s class or chat with someone who’s just getting started in the Craft. Newbies have an enthusiasm for magick that’s simply unmatched.

19. Smudge your house, altar, or yourself.

20. Practice guerilla magick: Create positive sigils and omens and leave them in unexpected places for others to find. (Please no graffiti or outdoor litter.)

21. Heal your heart. Identify someone or something that has hurt you and perform a ritual to put them/it behind you.

22. Cook a healthy, energy-rich meal with fruits and vegetables from a garden or farmer’s market. Wash it down with a big glass of water.

23. Create a work of art or poetry that honours a favourite deity, place, or person.

24. Go someplace new in your city or town. Keep your eyes open for signs and oracles. Magick can enter your life in many ways—from a found object to a chance encounter with a stranger.

25. Choose an attribute of your zodiac sign (good, bad, or neutral) and give yourself permission to fully embody it for an entire day. Enjoy being an impulsive Gemini, brooding Cancer, or sexy Aries.

26. Do a daily draw from your Tarot deck or rune set.

27. Attend a Pagan festival, Pagan’s Night Out, or Witch’s meetup.

28. Start decorating for Halloween (yes, even if it’s only February)!

29. If your health allows for it, consider a brief fast. A day or two without food can be energetically and creatively stimulating.

30. Clean house. Clutter and unwanted junk can cause energy to stagnate in your home, mind, and body.

31. Browse social media for new witchy ideas for your home or altar. (One caveat: Only do this as long as it feels inspiring. If you start feeling overwhelmed or envious from altar porn, disconnect from Instagram and reconnect with what you’ve got right in front of you.)

32. Create a labyrinth with stones on your property. A labyrinth is a tool for contemplation that can be big or small, indoors or outdoors. Walk it with your feet—or fingertips!

33. Practice automatic writing or drawing.

34. Visit a craft store or vintage market and dream up magickal uses for mundane items. An old planter could become a magickal faery herb garden, a piece of costume jewellery might be your new scrying ring.

35. Do a simple prayer/ritual to thank your ancestors for the blessing of life and for your magickal gifts. (Don’t worry if you don’t know who your all your ancestors are—they know who you are.)

36. Create and charge a sigil that represents a current goal.

37. Energy practice is like kegels—you can do it anywhere, anytime, and (probably) no one will know. Flex your chakras on the bus, at the grocery store, sitting in traffic.

38. Cast a circle (or your version of sacred space) just because.

39. Hug a tree. Play in the dirt.

40. Re-watch a movie that inspired you to become interested in magick, and feel the thrill of discovery all over again. (Was it Practical Magic? I bet it was Practical Magic. Mists of Avalon? Harry Freakin’ Potter? Go ahead, we won’t judge.)

41. Visit a cemetery or memorial park.

42. Explain something about your path to a person who doesn’t participate/believe in witchcraft. Get in touch with your own convictions. Practice not worrying about what others think.

43. Choose a special outfit or piece of jewellery that you will only use in a magickal context. Bless this item and store it in a safe place.  

44. Burn something! Fire evokes transformation and change—so meditate with flame, whether it’s a single candle or a backyard bonfire.

45. Get excited about the next Sabbat. Select recipes and words for a solo ritual, or plan ahead to celebrate with your community.

46. Make friends with your neighbourhood Fae and nature spirits. Make gifts of your labour, reverent attention, and material offerings (when appropriate).

47: Choose a Tarot or oracle card that stands for something you want to draw into your life and display it on your altar.

48: Learn about the magick of a group or culture that’s unfamiliar to you. Read a book—or, if possible, sit in on a ritual. Every civilisation in history has had its own Mystery traditions and studying another system can put you in touch with what’s true about your own.

49: Get a psychic reading from a friend or professional.

50: Create a special ceremonial beverage with ingredients that are significant to you and your magick. Charge the mixture and consume it alone or with (consenting) others.

51: Craft a mojo bag or talisman and carry it with you. Try a Lunar charm for psychic awareness, Mercury for increased energy flow/communication, or Jupiter for wisdom and opportunity.

52: Take a trip to your local metaphysical shop and see what’s new.

53: Your body is a temple—remember to treat it that way. Gift yourself with a new outfit, haircut, orgasm, massage, favourite food, or whatever else makes your vessel feel fabulous.

54: Light some incense: Frankincense-Myrrh, Copal, or Amber are all magickal fragrances that call up deep ancestral memories.

55: Meditate or do energy work with a partner. Afterwards, take a few moments to talk about your experiences.

56 (extra credit): Create a simple magickal routine that feeds your spirit and that you can—realistically—stick to. Try your damnedest to make it a daily practice.

As you perform the rituals on this list, I hope you will seize the opportunity to fall in love again with your spiritual self. When you’re stuck in a blah daily existence, you may wonder where the magick went. The answer, of course, is that the magick has been there all along—it was you who stepped away for a bit.

Living in the mundane world doesn’t make you less of a Witch, it makes you a balanced human being. Psychically dormant and latent periods are part of learning and growing in the Craft.

Above all, don’t blame yourself for lapses in your magickal practice. Guilt and regret are enemies of the ecstatic self-love that is the basis of all constructive magick. Just pick up where you left off, and coming home will feel all the sweeter.

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/circling-back-to-magick-55-ways-to-live-a-more-spiritual-life-every-day

[b0ne-marrow]

MLP Nextgen Doodle Dump

So, to preface this with bad/weird news, my dad's in the hospital right now. He's got an infection of some sort but he's doing okay. He's hoping to get out tomorrow/today for you guys, Monday for sure. So, as you could imagine I'm stressed out LMFAO. If I'm not around much that's why. Also I I hate to ask, but any donation would be helpful. I'd open commissions but I've got a lot of things I've got to get done beforehand. Any amount helps, and I'll probably try and do something for you in the future if you do donate.  I've decided to doodle a bit over the past few days. I don't know how long it's going to be until I get motivation to draw something good/normal and I felt bad for that so I wanted to do this doodle page. Not only was it easier for me to do and was something I could post, but I could explore the relationships in my NGs a bit. I didn't sit there and fiddle with them for too long, so they aren't the best, especially anatomy wise and how faithful they are to the refs I have of said chars, but it was fun and mostly non stressful. I'm debating on doing more, but I was kinda struggling to fill this one out alll the way, lol. It was originally intended to just be a Valorverse dump but I ran out of ideas and I neglect my first NG too much anyways lol.  It started out with Number 6 and the NSFW doodle I posted on my Furaffinity of Celly and Starswirl but I decided to take off with it a bit more lol. I will be writing this as if it was on DA so if some things come out looking weird that's why, lol.  Also I can't remember the order I doodled them in so whoops lol. 1.This is Rosemary and Ajwain, my two Zecora x Saffron Masala nextgens in the Mediverse. Both of them take at least 1 day ouf of the week to have some drinks and talk to each other. Ajwain loves his quality time with his sister. Ajwain was designed by the lovely Scyllarus a while back! It's a shame I haven't gotten around to drawing them until now I REALLY LOVE THEIR DESIGN STILL THANK YOU!!! ;v; 2.These are my Two Discord x Celestia babs in the Mediverse. Blane and Maelstrom. Maelstrom is a lot bigger than Blane lol. One fateful day, when Discord was  left to his devices for too long resting at the Royal castle, he informed Celestia that he was in fact pregnant despite lacking the proper genitalia to be so. After a few months, he layed an egg, that of which Maelstrom was hatched from. He very tactly laid said egg during a very previously nice and lovely dinner that She and the Mane 6+Spike and Starlight were having. No one was left un-traumatized.   When I originally started doodling this it was intended to be a friendly banter/fight between these two siblings, but it seems like it's a little more serious than that LOL Blane's design was by the lovely chiickii, and Maelstrom's design was by the lovely   3. (Valorverse) Mahina, a Celestia x Mirror!Sombra bab, crying his eyes out. The original thought behind this was that he's upset because he doesn't have a close or even okay relationship with his older sister, who practically just kinda rejects his existance even though she's still nice to him. It hurts him so much though, as he loves her dearly and wants to be close with her but isn't. Another thought that popped up was just him being overwhelmed with his Princely duties, as well as not being able to get over his crush on Twi. 4. (Valorverse) A Pinkie x Skystar bab I designed! I love Pinkie's babies and this one's no different lol. She has no wings in her hippogryph form! She's got Limestone's eye color (and coat color kinda. its supposed to be a purple but it looks more pink lol.) I also just realized that Pinkie has babies with 2 royal families LMFAO. I don't have a name for her yet, so any suggesetions are appreciated if you have the time, lol. 5. (Mediverse)  Barbell, a Dumbell x Hoops bab, and Sky High, a Rainbow x Soarin bab. These two are the closest of friends and Sky has a huge crush on him. I feel like they'll eventually get together lol. In this doodle she surprised and tackled him down, lol. Its really awkward at first for them to be friends, as Rainbow and Dumbell (and by extension Hoops) really don't get along all too well even after the apology they gave her. Rainbow often encourages Sky to not talk to Barbell indirectly, but Dumbell and Hoops are patient and are understanding of Rainbow's feelings.  6. (Valorverse) Ahh, the first one lol. This originally was intended to be Pippin "Lil' Mac" selling some of the apple cider the apples make, but the story kinda twisted in my brain into him being at his first prom and getting absolutely tossed LMFAO. I have no idea who his date would be or where he went, however I can tell you he has some seriously gay feelings right now LOL 7. (Valorverse) This is Viridian, a char I adopted from chiickii!  Viridian is the adopted daughter of Twilight and Tempest. In horrible Irony, she is INCREDIBLY bad at channeling her magic through her horn. Simple levitation spells are a struggle for her, and she feels like she needs to get better for the sake of her mother, who is the element of Magic after all. She studies so hard and intensely she gets very easily frustrated and will even hurt herself in the process if she isn't paying attention. In this pic she bit her lip. 8. (Valorverse)  A fullbody of another char I adopted from chiickii! She is Amalthia, a Starswirl x Celestia bab. She was born with a growth disorder where her left hind leg didn't develop properly and is a lot shorter than her others. Before her other leg got paralyzed she would still use her wheelchair, but could get around with it okay. Now with the other one not working it is a necessity, lol.  9. (Valorverse) A doodle of the recent Pinkie x Rutherford bab I designed. This is him in another outfit of his. Every now and then he wears shoes that make it look like he's hooved. He'll also occasionally cut the "hair" off his tail and just go with a short one. This is definitely a headcanon and not just because I forgOT TO DRAW THE TAIL 10. (Valorverse) I thought it'd be cute to have it canon that Pippin and Morning Glory (a fluttershy x treehugger bab) dated back in highschool before both of them realized they were gay lol. I guess that would be his date to the original prom lol. They're BFFs still even though they had a kinda nasty break up. WLW MLM Solidarity lol 11. A bit of a Crossover between the two Verses, lol. The left is Barbell, and the Right is Gusty Haze, a Vapor Trail x Short Fuse bab in the Valorverse. Gusty was the result of a weird one night stand Vapor had with   Gusty is one of the fastest fliers in the Valorverse but still couldn't keep up very well with Barbell. He has the added benefit of being a great distance flyer as well, where Gusty is more of a "Fly fast in bursts" flyer. Barbell is a CRAZY good flyer.  Gusty was adopted by Rainbow and Lightning Dust. He's a very fiesty thing that's full of vigor and sportyness. He's also is a bit hotheaded, however that was to no one's surprise.  He got into an accident when he was younger, trying to preform an almost humorously dangerous trick that ended up with him getting burns on his rump and other parts of their body. I imagine the tape he wears over his arms covers more burns. Gusty Haze is a Nonbinary Female that uses He/him pronouns. 12. (Mediverse) Naughty Naughty things you can only find uncensored on my Furaffinty, lol. 13. (Valorverse) Not much backstory on this one. Just a doodle of Swan Song, a Stygian x Starlight bab, trying to be cute. 14. (Mediverse) Another drawing of Blane, I originally was going to flip the image but by the time I remembered it was a huge pain to, so his bits are out of order technically, lol. It wouldn't surprise me if they switched from time to time anyway. (Not to mention I drew it wrong on 12 anyway LOL) It kinda looks like he's laughing at Swan Song lol 15. (Mediverse) A techincal spoiler but that hasn't stopped me before LMFAO. At some point, Amaris, a "Nightmare Moon" x Sombra bab, ends up trying to rule equestria but gets defeated and redeemed. He meets a pony of the name Broken Heart, a Cadence x Shining Armor bab, while traveling and eventually helps him get out of the depressive rut he was in, get him help, and eventually fosters a relationship with him. The event of Amaris befriending him and helping him out of his misery was what triggered his Cutie mark, A balance Scale with a heart on top of it.  You can find my writings/ramblings on both my Nextgen Verses here: https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/journal/MLP-Nextgen-Headcanon-Hub-764399763 I'm very tired at the time of writing this and there's no spell check on Postybirb so apologies for any typos and weirdness, lol. Please enjoy! If you like my work, please consider supporting me on Patreon and following me on the other websites I'm on! You can find them all here: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Musicalmedic DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic Instagram: @ musical_mediic or https://www.instagram.com/musical_mediic/ Furaffinity: https://furaffinity.net/user/musicalmedic/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Musical_mediic Tumblr: https://Musical-mediic.tumblr.com Posted using PostyBirb

[13signs]

Trump’s transit troubles

Backlash to a Blowhard

Donald Trump's Saturn-Moon-Sun Problems

The last time Saturn stepped on Donald Trump's Moon was less than two weeks before his dreary and demoralizing inaugural. He was humiliated, caught with his pants down as he tried to exaggerate his crowd numbers. Meanwhile, the Women's march drew millions nationwide. This was the first of many gaffes, and his administration got off to a rocky start. During the term of Saturn's transit of his natal Moon, his Mexican wall, anti-Islamic immigration bills, and the repeal of Obamacare were are squashed. Moreover, his cabinet was trashed by a media broadside and a relentless meme ridicule. The "resistance" to his presidency was in full swing. He had to crawl back under the protection of the Republican party he almost destroyed.

Starting in early July, Saturn came back in retrograde to take another swipe at his bubble, and the reality of his incompetence and contradictions are coming into full view. For the second time his trajectory was stopped in its tracks. Everything he says one day is regurgitated the next to mean the opposite. The elimination of Obamacare, like an open wound, seems to be harder to deal with than he thought.

Saturn isn't accelerating the gradual descent into financial crisis and political anarchy--that's Pluto's job; but Saturn is damn well raining on Trump's parade.

In the patois of astrology, a Saturn-Moon transit is called the "Bitter Lady" and implies a very adversarial situation. It's hard-hearted, inhibited, suspicious. Any false sense of security is stripped away, and feelings of loneliness, isolation and depression make us cling to hopeless, unwinnable situations and self-destructive practices. The only emotions we have left are low-self esteem, resentment and envy. A person going through this beating isn't going to be the life of the party, much less be able to successfully pursue a political agenda.

Odd-man-out at the G20 summit

Trump's magic with the media and ability to galvanize his followers depends on his own myth of his invincibility and confidence, but Saturn has been slowly hammering away at the image, making him withdrawal into an ever smaller circle of trusted confidants. Although still popular among his millions of followers, they haven't seen any progress, nor have any of their actual demands been addressed. His quixotic policy statements are so dualistic that even his handlers are confused. His recent grandstanding at the G20 summit and his attempts at reconciliation fell flat, and he was the odd man out among a veteran set of players who seem to have already discounted him and American power. Russia's Putin and Germany's Merkel seem to have run circles around him. Internationally, he's quickly becoming old news, a flash in the pan, an embarrassment--which must disappoint Trump if not his supporters. Some foreign media have actually labeled him a "mobster".

Transiting Saturn and Trump's natal Moon conjunct in 14 degrees Ophiuchus. This really amplifies the Ophiuchus fear of persecution and hope for renewal, two very predominant influences for those who have the goddess in their birth charts. Trump is a demagogue; a blunt and direct Taurus on his best days. His Moon in Ophiuchus gives him an ability to cast spells on the unwary, like a horny old wizard hypnotizing a crowd of bumpkins at the circus. Now, in the harsh light of the internet, working behind the scenes is impossible for him; all three times that Saturn crosses over Trump's Moon have put his weaknesses in the spotlight, and will subject his brand of boosterism to piercing scrutiny.

Was it not for this cloud over Trump's Moon, this would be a fortunate time for him. Trump will get a taste of the generosity of a Jupiter return in Virgo during August that will pump him up, part of a series of very lucky Jupiter connections in August. A Virgo Jupiter is a fixer, and Trump may actually appear to enjoy a tailwind. But there's stormy weather ahead. Any optimism may be slapped down again by Saturn a few weeks later. Most of Trump's first year of his presidency has been held hostage to this Saturnean triple-slap at the presidential ego, and he's not out of the woods until November. The final Saturn transit of Trump's Moon will start to apply at the end of August, go exact on September 27 and be active until mid-October. Trump won't be free of the dour influence of Saturn on his powerful Moon, upon which he depends to bamboozle his base, until Saturn enters Sagittarius on Nov. 19.

Just as the Saturn-Moon transit ends, a new, worse and more inhibiting Saturn-Sun opposition transit goes into high gear.

During the same buildup, Jupiter will trine his Sun and Uranus will bolster his Mars-in-Leo energy, so he might be able to bluster his way through. However, Jupiter could also inflate his confidence like a balloon, expanding his ego and his stomach. He could find himself having to backtrack from exaggerations as Saturn undercuts his empty boasts with hard facts.

The final phase of Trump's Saturn-Sun transit could really strike deep and personal, exhausting him and taking a physical as well as an emotional toll on him. Trump's Sun will get the Saturn treatment for over a month, from the middle of October to mid-November (right into the Mercury retrograde period). Stephanie Johnson says of this transit:

"Life seems like an endurance test during this transit. You feel tired, worn out and old as your list of jobs seems overwhelming in comparison with your time and energy. There may be delays in your projects or simply a feeling that the fruits of your current labors are hard to see right now. It is a time to ponder on your priorities and discard any tasks that may be blocking your path, while shouldering responsibility in the areas which are important. Meditation may be useful. Certainly it is a time to watch your diet and health."

Trump is not likely to heed any of this advice, and will double down and blame others for his own lack of purpose, loss of confidence and the take-down of his image.

What a terrible time for Trump's big ego as he embarks on a 14-day Asian trip that's bound to have negative repercussions!

The Sun represents the ego, and Saturn has a malefic influence on it in opposition, where by starts and stops, the full weight of the responsibilities and frustrations of his presidency start to crush him into an untenable position. It might even mean a physical breakdown, back problems, or a general malaise from which he cannot escape. Trump's tour of Asia during this slump, and his depressed state of mind and pitiful collection of shop-worn cliches will not go over well with his Asian counterparts, especially Chinese Premier Xi and Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte, both of whom have openly scoffed at the limits of American imperialism. Xi has recently reached a pinnacle of power, as his new 5-year plan for regional domination and world influence starts to materialize, along with the new alliances he is making with Russia, Iran, and others who now see China as the practical replacement for the failure of the US-controlled world economy and its impending melt-down. Many countries now see the gold-backed Chinese yuan as a alternative currency against the dollar. The Chinese face the consequences of their own financial bubble, and see expansion as the only way to avoid a melt-down of their overheated economy. The Philippines, Vietnam, and other Asian states all see which way the wind is blowing, and will have to realign their economic future with their regional giant, China.

A minor but very dangerous Neptune transit of Trump's Venus makes him very vulnerable to confusion, frustration and a pitiless reality exposing the true Trump and his relationship problems, which he has with almost everyone. Of course, scandal is his middle name, and his supporters have tended to overlook them in the past--when it was convenient for them. That Neptune is the planet of scandals and erosion of faith--and money, in the case of a Venus transit.

If you factor in the volatility of today's politics; the herd mentality of the mainstream media; the potential for military defeat in any of our far flung wars, (particularly Afghanistan); worsening global trade relations; and a deflationary dollar causing a hyperinflation of the cost of living, the possibilities for a major crisis seem imminent. Trump may be hard pressed to stay on top of the curve.

However, the Taurus in Trump will never let him quit. The consequences are worse, and with no real opposition from the hapless Democrats, the "sick man" of US politics, Trump may survive and go on to oversee the greatest financial crash, default and bankruptcy in history. Trump fills a void in American politics that was created by venality and greed, and that patina will stay with Trump until the end. The need is greater than ever for effective leadership, yet we'll not see any hope of change; Americans face the possibility of a Trump administration bloodied like a mortally wounded bull in the ring, kicking and trashing around, part of a global trend of failed states mired in corruption and fraud. The degree of success or failure for Trump in muddling through the gargantuan problems we face won't matter in the long run, Trump is essentially a placeholder in today's politics, since even if he knew what he was doing, he couldn't make it real. His own lack of substance, desperate isolation and peevish paranoia may spell more danger for Trump than any media backlash or attempts to disgrace him by his enemies. Trump is his own most dangerous enemy. He has nothing to give, nowhere to go, nobody to love him. He's a TV has-been that oversold himself and now must pay the piper.

Donald Trump's natal chart.

A Taurus native with a Ophiuchus Moon, he taps into the magic of mass appeal with a frank, outspoken simplicity. Trump's contradictory statements and Twitter tantrums are easily explained by his Mercury, Venus and Saturn in Gemini. Rather than the mark of the predator, Trump has his Leo Mars buried in the 13th house, closeted in a shroud of sexual secrecy that alienates him from humanity. Jupiter, Chiron and Neptune in the 2nd house enable him to appear larger than life, seducing people to believe he possesses powers that far exceed his true capabilities. His Taurus planets are trine his Virgo, he's survived in public life so long because he's adaptable (for a Taurus, anyway). Trump's future is out of his hands; he's awakened a dragon of international opposition and his only weapons are the dollar and the drone, neither of which can measure up to the task of saving his presidency, or helping the country avoid a take-down of immeasurable consequences.