#and i dont want that :((
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this is genuinely my self care
#if i dont drink water then the water dragon is going to be upset at me#and i dont want that#♡⊱a talks#genshin#genshin impact#neuvillette#genshin neuvillette#genshin impact neuvillette#drink water#hydration reminder
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the urge to post everything ive drawn so far for the visual novel vs the desire to keep it all a surprise
#also#if i posted that stuff i can guarantee ppl would take it and post it to pinterest cause none of its watermarked#and i Dont Want That#time talks
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finally got to see the new sza and i love it! but i dont feel confortable giffing the mv...
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i told my therapist that i get the jitters when i first take my meds and then drink coffee and well the obvious solution was drink your coffee before taking your meds but girl as if i could remember that
#cause if i dont take my meds first thing in the morning i might just forget them#and i dont want that#but the feeling of drinking coffee afterwards omfg nahh imma explode now or sth#i should write it down for me somewhere#my body is a lightning bold or sth#adhd#actually adhd#neurodivergent#adhd meds
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#this is my new hyperfixation#fob#fall out boy#we didnt start the fire#memes#i like to think im funny#im making memes of myself#because i cant stop listening to it#send help#but dont actually#because then someone will turn off the music#and i dont want that#let me listen to it on repeat until i hate it#please and thanks#world trade#second plane#what more do i have to say#ugh#so good
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deleted last post I think i'm going to keep this blog strictly fandom
#i know this is my blog and I can do whatever I want but I think that this is unhealthy#i'm in a fandom talking about personal things and this is not the purpose of this blog#im trying to look at this from the perspective of a stranger and it's awful#maybe i like to pretend i have an audience but i'm just tricking myself and shoving my drama to other people's throath#and i dont want that#i need to move this somewhere else#and yet here i am oversharing again on a social media post#hopefully my last#i just have a compulsory need to belong and thats why i try to make a lot of “”art“” to post#i want to give things to other people because i need to be seen even if it just for a short moment
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i am so glad i have the ability to keep my thoughts to myself occasionally ill see a post that irks me or rubs me the wrong way and i get the urge to comment "x doesnt belong with this or "this looks nothing like x" and i get to the typing phase and just. take a deep breath. remind myself that all it is is a (harmless) opinion that does not affect me, and that saying something like that is only going to result in negative ineteractions. i wish more people, both on this website, and irl, could learn to live and healthily deal with things that they disagree with instead of immediately reacting with hostility
#the straw that broke the camels back and made me write this post#was one saying that the fnaf movie is on the same level as the mario or sonic movie as far as “good video game movies” goes#and im sorry i have to say this here in the tags in my lil safe space#h a r d d i s a g r e e#but its lil shit like that#if i commented that on that post#it wouldnt change the op's mind on anything#itd just make a new enemy#and i dont want that#id rather them not know i even exist than them to know and hate me
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Overthinking again
#designs are hard#all i keep thinking is “man this person's au is so much better”#they make good designs really well#and im like im trying#i dont know whether to keep the overcoats the Paldea trio had#like Penny's coat#or scrapping it because I can never make Arven's overcoat look right eithout it looking too much like my friends' coat designs#for their toxic chain aus#and the maskd#if i make them back to the canon colors im gonna get publicly executed by my brain#because theres already similarites eith ankther au i like#and if i change thingd too much theyll hate me#and i dont want that#im so fuckinf tired#mochi desires au#why cant i get it right#and stop overthinking#why#FUCKING EHY
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Coming to the awful, horrifying realization that my job is very much not what I was promised, and not what I expected it to be. Realizing that I work 8 hour days, without a lunch break and get chastised by my boss for leaving early. Working 10-12 hour days without any sort of break and it's still not enough. Worked 16 hour days during spring break and did not receive any sort of gratitude for it. Doing the work of 3 people and it's still not enough bc I should be doing the work of 5. Being severely undervalued and unappreciated, and under payed. My boss being so paranoid that he spies on me through our security cameras and when he thinks I'm doing something that isn't my work, he calls and asks me what I'm doing. My boss now making offhand, self depreciating jokes that we might not last through the summer and that if we don't get enough kids signed up for summer camp, they might not be able to pay me. Coming to the horrible realization that if I quit this job, the school would definitely go under and I'd probably never be able to practice taekwondo in our organization ever again. Realizing that because of the amount of hours my job demands of me, it's giving my cats severe separation anxiety that is causing lots of problems at home.
#i just dont know what to do#i dont really want to keep working but i know that if i were to leave the school would 100% have to close#there is no one that can do the job that i do#we dont have anyone that can make the calls#and clean the school#and do the after school pick up and teaching that i do#i am that person#and if i were to leave and the school were to go under#i would never be able to practice taekwondo in our organization again#and i dont want that#and a tiny evil part of me hopes the school goes under so that i dont have to deal with this anymore#ive pretty much got another job as a receptionist at the vet my roomie works at already lined up
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'ao3 needs a like and dislike button'
what you need, my algorithm-rotten minded friend, is a grip
#ao3#archive of our own#what.do.you.MEAN#how do these takes still find me#HOW#'but I only want to read the good stuff' THAT MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE#THERE ARE HIDDEN GEMS YOU WONT EVEN FIND#also you know what you TRULY want? fics recs it's called fic recs but hey cant have that if you dont read THE FUCKING FICS first#imagine thinking fanworks are uniquely for your consumption and products to be ranked on a scale#ANYWAY it just boggles the mind#mine
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this is a joke about anime porn. get real
#i will block you instantly for being annoying on this post#i dont want to hear about your life plans. i don't know you
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Found my fav Slay the Princess route recently. Dragon my beloved. Your horrifying beak mouth was an impossible-to-refuse lip syncing challenge 💖
Shoutouts to @blacktabbygames for making such a cool game!
#stp spoilers#slay the princess spoilers#stp dragon#stp the princess and the dragon#I FINISHED THIS LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO AND CONSISTENTLY FORGOT TO POST IT UNTIL I REMEMBERED JUST NOW LMAO FUCK#i made it for my showreel when i realised stp is full of good lines to lip sync to and ooohhhh what a fun challenge it was#and such a fun sketchy art style to emulate too. i dont think i quite nailed it but you have to take liberties when it's animation dont you#anyway this route makes me insane. getting to finally see ourself and finding out we're a SICK ASS GIANT DESTRUCTIVE CREATURE?!!!#the princess is so good at making me feel feeble and pathetic in this game. i had no idea. i am so so happy. this is gender euphoria#thank u my friend @rune-chaser for introducing me to this game bc it's so cool!!! and has made me cry more than once! yayyy!!!#stp#slay the princess#stp princess#stp the long quiet#my animations#my art#EDIT: changed the name in the desc from stp to slay the princess bc i want non stp players to know what the game is. shoulda done it sooner
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I turn to Ares.
Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK
⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon
#greek mythology#ares#athena#greek gods#dont get me wrong it aint athena slander but it sure is ares praise#on some level at least#man justly accused of bad things deserves some mid praise more at 11#thank you romi for helping me with words though i duly noted you insisted on ares not being cautious rather than him not being careful#romi be like “i want him to care” and honestly good you should say it#also EPIC led to this and i just..... i want to draw some animatics man i just need infinite time now#my long lost love for greek myths just will never stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming#i want some vulture design in here for ares but not sure about this one#kochei doodles
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some arcane pirate au sketches
#yes its melvika#no i dont regret it#I LIKE IT OKAY#im making more even if nobody wants it hihi#viktor arcane#arcane viktor#arcane sevika#sevika#arcane mel#mel medarda#melvika#arcane fanart#arcane au#arcane#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art
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