#and i dont wanna do any of this bc i kno this project is gonna cause me physical and Phycological pain
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#if u r curious abt following the saga that is my life:#i did finally accept an official offer from a school this afternoon. which is a huge relief and really exciting#and for once i think i did something that will b good for me in mind and body lol bc i think i could b happy with any of the places i#applied to but this program is most geared to my interests and its in a place where i think i can have fun due to the accessibility#of nature and the mountains haha. like at rutgers i think i could have got a good education and had a lot of opportunities but i think it#would have crushed my soul a lil bc it would b more high pressure and in the city. ya kno? so i hopefully i dont regret the choice lol#i still have to wait on the offical acceptance stuff but now at least i can allow myself to get excited abt the potential project and start#researching. which i mean ill have 5yrs of a phd for that but idk im excited and my life feels so empty and meaningless rn ive gotta take#the excitement where i can haha#anyway housing is gonna b a bitch bc there arent a lot of places available in grad student price ranges in the city to the point where they#said so in the official offer rip. and i have to decide when im leaving the southwest bc i could stay til August or leave in july and take#like a whole almost 2 months to just not b doing anything for a sec. and my dad was like !!! u could go to the crazy state parks#or drive out to the pacific northwest! and that would b amazing but also that sounds so scary to do on my own lol#like i dont wanna b missing and murdered as a youngish non guy traveling alone#but i could do it if i tried im sure. anyway i just wanted to let yall kno#bc im so doom and gloom on here all the time but a transition period is looming so im only stuck here for a few more months#and hopefully itll b a page turn into a happier place haha#watch out yellowstone cyanobacteria. im coming for u >:-]#knock on wood. ya kno. just in case#hhhh at least i can breathe a lil better now i have a direction#unrelated
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【✧】━━━ ♥ d e s i g n e d b y a e s t h e t i c ♥ ━━━【✧】
the aesthetic is just conceptual so BEAR w me,,,, i’m plagiarizing okay,, sung would make his own character, and make a keychain of said character. and bc the Concept is meant to be him-ish, the character would b a mix of two animals, and be a bear in a puppy suit. so like the middle pics but Reversed. and there’d be two keychain options, the traditional ring, and a string type to attach to a phone case. lil 3d mf. super cute, adorable, luvs it
word count: 424
tldr; im doing the para first bc,, timeline purposes but also bc im Hype to mention how apeach sung’s inspo here
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never did joosung ever think that as an idol, he’d be asked to design merchandise for himself. asked for opinions on what phrases, pictures, or items might resonate with their fans, sure, just like anything else they were vaguely asked for their opinion on.
designing something of his own felt too close to the discomfort he’d felt when he was pushed as some... fashion guy, a while back. however, this couldn’t be blamed as a him issue, considering he’d heard everyone in the company was being asked to do the same thing. all he knew for quite a while was that clothing would be off limits. sung didn’t want to fall back into the same marketing as fashion focused, and even if he did try, the only clothing items he’d personally be interested in wouldn’t be all that marketable against his, and quantum’s, image.
he’d felt stumped, when every time he tried to think on the subject, he found his mind wandering to subjects that felt more pertinent. schedules, relationships, script writing, song writing. staying on the subject long enough to give it a proper go never came to closure.
what got him there, eventually, was in conversation. a compliment on his apeach phone case, and the subsequent discussion where sung, in a not too common scenario, was able to gush about his love for this, in truth, useless character. vaguely, it’d sparked a sliver of a thought, that came to mind the next time he attempted to think about the design process. he wished he could make something that could have that strong of an effect.
-well, why not?
who was to say sung couldn’t make a character out of this? he hadn’t tried creating characters of his own since he was a child, but with as much of a literature fanatic as him, it should be doable, right?
although, considering this was supposed to be merchandise in some way, it should be a reflection of him, and when it came to what could be personified, immediately he jumped to animals. the eternal debate amongst his fans, was he more of a bear or a puppy? sung did at times feel a little slighted that cat was nearly never in the picture, but on a deeper level, he understood.
deciding between a bear or a puppy might give himself too much of a stake in the debate, but... he could play into it, if it was both. that would make the character more unique than the millions of bears and puppies out there.
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sung vs bearppy... pear...
word count: 474
i wanna come up w more concepts abt the character
and i dont actually kno if theres any lore(??) abt the characters in the aesthetic so if this part is the same its just parallel thought lol
so the character wears the suit bc theyre rly friendly n lonely but no one wanted to hang w them bc theyre a Big Scary Bear n most ppl love dogs so it makes them less threatening
they had a backstory of trying different suits but nothing working and/or feeling right until the puppy suit
their fave food is a peanut butter n honey sandwich
they explain hibernation to their friends by saying theyre visiting their family abroad
their life goal is to have 100 friends
okay im gonna leave it there bc i feel like these kinds of characters r meant to b vague enough to project onto
onto the product pitch!
so this one i think would have been his second pitch, and he’d feel more confident n stable in the headphones pitch, despite the idea coming first (i imagine the headphones to come from the connection to bears)
this is more pitching a concept of sales rather than explicit research suggesting sales would likely be good
he’d have made a powerpoint for this one too bc ofc he would, and he’d end up mentioning his initial concept around apeach but in a more general sense of line friends/kkt friends
and he’d put effort into selling the concept of a brand new character being marketable Just for being cute. it’s a harder sell because this is meant to be something branded, tied to the self, and,,, bc this is an area sung always felt he struggled with most
he knows the textbook knowledge of how to be professional, marketing techniques, blah blah, but when it comes to knowingly using his charisma to win someone over, he gets in his head and it feels like lying. he’s just not good at closing the sale
his main tactic here would be presenting the idea that this one stupid keychain could become a big piece of media that they can get a lot of coin from. it’s just a gamble, and he knows that, even if he wouldnt mention it (bc again, if he did, he’d feel like he was lying to try to reassure them that he Absolutely knows it would turn out well. he’s like no this could b a total flop i dont actually kno anything)
so yeah he’s selling the big picture of it starts with a keychain then its a feature film kind of thing
and because it’s what he feels he knows how to do, he’d try to throw in statistics wherever he can, but they’d b v supplementary there. he’d likely walk out of the meeting disappointed w himself (thanks childhood)
#famedbasedesignedby#i couldnt think of the word charms for so long when i was making this#and i just kept thinking of my pokemon phone charms#so they made it onto the aesthetic just 4 that#aesthetic
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Finals Week
This is a really self-indulgent semi sequel to this ficlet I wrote a little while ago about theatre major Bucky and frat bro Clint. Apparently this is gonna be the AU i use for pointless fluffy comfort now bc I’m stressed with finals essays and these boys are helping.
I definitely shifted some background characters around since the last fic sorry steve but i don’t super care so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Bucky spins his desk chair around in a lazy circle, watching the moon shining through his apartment window blur into a bright stripe with the rest of his surroundings. Someone on the floor above him has tuned their Spotify to some kind of low-fi study playlist, and Bucky feels genuinely relaxed for the first time in… months, actually.
This last week has been rough. Nearly all of his finals ended up scheduled on the same Friday and Natasha had to actually hold him back from leaping out the library window on Thursday night. It worked out alright. The Lighting Design 201 presentation had gone off shockingly well, the History of Stage Design final was way easier than expected, and his group project for Gender in Shakespeare really pulled through in the end. He half-assed the conclusion for his Dramaturgy essay, but there was only so much he could say about August Wilson without the professor realizing he was just spitting his class notes back at him. So now he’s done. A whole five days before the semester ends, too. It feels like a thousand-pound weight has been lifted off Bucky’s shoulders. He hums along to the slow jam echoing down from his upstairs neighbor, scooping up his phone to check his messages.
Nat (3 hours ago) Congrats on being done with finals
Nat (3 hours ago) If you didn’t turn that gd Fences essay in on time I will climb in through your window and strangle you in your sleep
Steve (2 hours ago) Hey! Me and some buddies were planning on going out for pizza around 7 tomorrow. Do you wanna come with? You can bring Clint so you don’t have to listen to grad students all night.
Steve (2 hours ago) Please say yes. I don’t want to listen to grad students all night.
Nat (42 minutes ago) Have you heard from Clint? He hasn’t answered my texts in hours. Not sure if I should be concerned
Nat (40 minutes ago) Send him a dick pic and see if that gets a response
Clint (3 minutes ago) im fckin dropping uot
Bucky ignores Steve and Natasha for now, typing out a quick response to Clint.
Bucky Well I’m done with finals
Bucky Can I convince you to stay in college with some fantastic Fuck Dramaturgy victory sex?
Clint i dont kno what htat is
Bucky I’ve explained Dramaturgy to you like five times
Clint i cant remembr
Clint what day is it
Clint bucky im dyin :’(
Bucky rolls his eyes, grabbing the keys off his desk and pulling on his sneakers. He would have preferred to avoid the Greek side of campus today if at all possible, but he has an idiot boyfriend to console.
Bucky omw
>>==========>
Beta Theta Pi is, as far as frat houses go, not the absolute worst. It had still been kind of a shock when Bucky realized Clint actually lives up to his frat bro vibes. Not only lives up to them but embraces them with the same enthusiasm Clint has for any other thing he cares about. Bucky could probably do PR for the Beta charity drives by now after how much Clint has gushed about them. Lord knows he’d do a better job than fucking Pietro.
Bruce answers the door on Bucky’s third knock, looking surprised to see him and vaguely stoned.
“Bucky?” he says after he gets a few blinks out of his system. Bucky wonders if it’s such a good idea to be smoking in his letterman jacket. Coach Fury’s been known to have a nose like a bloodhound. “Clint didn’t say you were coming over.”
“Has he said anything at all in the last twelve hours?” Bucky asks, shouldering past Bruce because he knows he won’t move on his own. Bruce is actually his favorite of Clint’s brothers. He’s chiller than any offensive lineman has a right to be. He does yoga, for fuck's sake. It’s probably the copious amounts of weed that mellow him out in the end, though.
“I dunno,” Bruce says, still blinking his way back to the present. He gives Bucky a slow smile as he shuts the door behind them. “Do you want tea? I made tea.”
“Maybe later,” Bucky says, because he’s just spotted Rumlow studying at the dining table and that’s the one Beta guy he genuinely doesn’t want to see today. He heads for the stairs.
“Wanna play Smash Bros?” Bruce asks as Bucky bolts for the second floor.
“Maybe later,” he shouts over his shoulder.
Clint’s room is at the far end of the hallway, and Bucky frowns at the closed door. Clint’s the kind of endearingly codependent guy that keeps his door open unless absolutely necessary, never wanting to miss out on anything that might be blocked by a thin layer of wood.
He knocks more as a warning than anything, letting himself in and shutting the door softly behind him. All the lights are off and nothing but moonlight illuminates Clint spread dramatically across the floor, staring up at his ceiling fan like he’s hoping it’ll fall on him.
“Fucking Christ,” Bucky mutters, mostly because he’s not sure Clint even heard him come in.
“I’m gonna die,” Clint answers from the floor. “Statistics is actually gonna kill me.”
“You can’t die,” Bucky says, leaning back against the door. “My mom will be crushed if I don’t bring you home for spring break.” The moonlight is making the angles of Clint’s face look especially soft, and Bucky takes a moment to watch him pout before sinking down onto the floor.
“No, it’s too late. I’m dying,” Clint says, shifting to make room on the rug as Bucky crawls over to him. He wraps his arm around Bucky’s shoulders and plants a quick kiss on his forehead before turning his glazed look back up at the ceiling fan. “You’ll come to my funeral, right?”
“Obviously,” Bucky snorts, sliding his hands under Clint’s t-shirt. He knows his fingers are ice cold, but Clint doesn’t even flinch.
“Wear black, okay? Something sexy, so my enemies get jealous of the hot piece of ass I bagged before kicking the bucket.”
“Should I cry?” Clint hasn’t seen Bucky act yet, but he’s totally going to audition for The Laramie Project next semester and blow his fucking mind.
“As much as possible. Maybe mention how much you’ll miss my massive dick.”
“I will,” Bucky says emphatically. He looks up at the ceiling fan and takes a deep breath, doing his best to bring tears to his eyes. “I’ll never love another dick as much as I loved his.” Bucky’s voice comes out impressively choked up. “I’m cursed to a life of longing. The only man who can satisfy me is lost forever.” Bucky blinks a single tear down his cheek, and Clint’s staring at him when he finally turns back.
“Holy shit,” Clint says, moving to wipe at Bucky’s cheeks like he’s actually worried about him. “Do exactly that, please. When did you learn how to cry on command?”
“When my third sister was born,” Bucky answers smugly. “I didn’t appreciate how much more attention tutus and pigtails got, so I had to find my own edge.”
“Becca’s sent me a few pictures that say you still cashed in on tutus and pigtails.” Clint rolls onto his side so he can face Bucky better, pulling him closer with a hand around his waist.
“I rocked those butterfly clips better than she could ever dream,” Bucky says, and Clint buries his laugh in Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky runs a hand up and down Clint’s back. “What day is your Stats final?” That earns him a despondent groan.
“Monday. I’m so gonna fail.” Clint’s voice is muffled by Bucky’s sweatshirt. “Why the fuck did I decide on a Business major?”
“Because you’re smart,” Bucky insists. Clint shakes his head weakly against his shoulder and Bucky smacks him lightly on the arm. “You are. You’re smart and practical, and once you have your diploma you and Nat can move to New York and open your gym.”
Clint mumbles something into his sweatshirt that Bucky doesn’t quite catch.
“What?” he asks, and he tugs the back of Clint’s shirt just enough to get him to scoot backward and speak clearly.
“I said you’ll be there too,” Clint repeats, rubbing his thumb back and forth across Bucky’s side and making an effort to keep his eyes anywhere but on Bucky’s. “Designing costumes on Broadway. Having a meltdown every other day.”
“Exactly,” Bucky says, and Clint looks up long enough to give him a hesitant smile. “And on tech week I’ll gripe to you all night long and make you rub my feet.”
“Sounds like a dream,” Clint says, and his voice is too soft to be joking. Bucky leans forward to kiss him. Clint brings his hand up to Bucky’s face, brushing his thumb over his cheek while they lose themselves for a moment or two.
“It’ll be awesome,” Bucky says once he’s pulled away. “And all you have to do is pass one dumb Stats final. It’s all easy street after that.”
“No it’s not,” Clint says, but his face doesn’t seem quite as pinched with worry. Bucky shrugs one shoulder.
“Maybe not, but this is all you have to think about right now. And even if you don’t pass, which you will, Momma Barnes will be waiting at the train station, ready to fill that void of disappointment with cookies and brisket. They offer Stats over the summer. You can even get Bruce to help you study.”
Clint smiles a little easier and presses a kiss to Bucky’s cheek.
“Bruce offered to help me study earlier this week, actually.” Bucky raises his eyebrows at him.
“And you’re not taking him up on it? Bruce is pretty much Einstein. You know that, right? What are you doing in here when you could be getting schooled on Stats in the library?”
“Well, you’re here,” Clint says and Bucky just knows his smile goes all dopey at that. “And I think even Einstein would struggle with Stats after smoking that much weed.”
“You’ll study with him tomorrow though, right?” Bucky’s not going to let Clint throw him off that easy. Clint rolls his eyes, but he nods. “Steve invited us to get pizza tomorrow. I’ll pay, as a reward for studying.”
“Steve invited us, or Steve invited you?” Clint asks, scrunching up his nose. Bucky snorts, shoving at Clint half-heartedly.
“Steve invited us. To go out with him and his friends. I dunno why you hate him so much. He thinks you’re pretty cool.”
“I don’t hate him,” Clint says defensively, but he still shifts forward to wrap his arms possessively around Bucky. “I just want to make sure he knows that the position of Bucky’s Buff Blond Boyfriend is already happily filled. Also, fuck him. I’m really cool.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Bucky says. He’s kind of stuck in Clint’s steel trap of a hug. “It’s not like that. First of all, I don’t date grad students, and second of all we totally have more of a big brother-little brother sort of thing going on. I think he’s more into Tony, anyway.”
“Aw, gross,” Clint laughs, letting Bucky out of his death grip. “They deserve each other.”
“People probably say the same thing about us,” Bucky says. Clint grins at him, opening his mouth to share some kind of smart-ass response. A knock on the door cuts him off and makes them both jump.
“Do you guys have pants on?” Bruce’s voice comes through the door way louder than necessary. “If you don’t, sorry. Keep doing your thing or whatever. We’re starting a new Smash tournament, though, if you wanna join.”
“No, Bruce. C’mon man,” Bucky hears Sam say, and there’s the sound of scuffling feet like Sam’s trying to yank Bruce back from the door. “They’re probably having their own Smash tournament in there.”
“Bucky would have invited me,” Bruce insists, and Clint sits up with a laugh.
“We have pants on, Bruce,” he calls, and the door opens a moment later.
“Are you guys just sitting in the dark?” Bruce frowns down at Bucky, who’s still sprawled across the rug.
“Yeah,” Clint says, and then because he catches Bucky’s meaningful look, “Are you busy tomorrow? Think you could help me with Stats?”
“Yeah,” Bruce says, smiling easily. Bucky thinks Clint looks relieved, like he actually thought Bruce might say no. “We can go to the library.”
“Alright, Bruce.” Bucky stands up, offering a hand and hauling Clint to his feet too. “Let’s smash. I call the pink controller.”
#my fics#winterhawk#rated: g#college au#wait have I been remembering to rate my fics lately#i didn't even realize i was making a hulk smash pun until the very end#i was just thinking about all the frat houses ive been to where they do nothing but play super smash bros#also clint is definitely the friend that switches off autocorrect despite needing it the most#im sorry if his shitty texting hurts anyone's brain
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tagged by @theshleld and @softarthurmorgan !!
Nickname: if you wanna get Technical, poe is a nickname lmao
Height: 5'7″ ish i think
Last movie I saw: uhhhh i Think it was the life of brian??
Favourite artists: mmm i dont know about overall Favourite but the top three as far as Most Played the past few weeks are: battle tapes; hozier; patrick stump
Song stuck in my head: fight song by the republic tigers (im workin on smth rn so ive listened to it like. 5 times today Alone)
Do I get asks? sometimes! not Super frequently but i appreciate them when i do!
Other blogs: uhhhh ive got a Bunch of saved urls, one that was actually for a school project in my freshman year of college that i dont wanna delete, and a handful of others that Sometimes get used
Following: 652! still working on clearing off some inactives, but doing Much better than last year lmao
Amount of sleep: oof bc of my class schedule this year, about 4 hrs on most school nights, and maybe around 6-8 otherwise?
Lucky Number?: 13, 27, and 53!
What I’m wearing: a yacht club sweater (ive never been a yacht club member in my life so i honestly. dont know. where this came from) and basketball shorts
Dream Job: lowkey still thinking about going into dentistry or working with the postal service tbh, but if i can get through a doctoral program? social psych research work.
Favourite food: id kill a man for good curly fries.
Dream trip: still wanna go to the calgary stampede someday, wales too
Play any instruments?: i used to play trombone and tuba! and sousaphone for about a month at band camp but that Hardly counts.
Languages: just english but im trying to learn some basic asl
Favourite Song: right now,,,,,,, im legally obligated to say belgrade by battle tapes
Random Fact: i have a deviated septum and breathing normally is A Struggle ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Describe yourself as aesthetic things: pine/fir scented candles, reflective sunglasses, freshly baked bread, oversized sweaters, perpetual tired eyes
Favourite colour?: im partial to deep/dark shades of greens blues & reds
You wanna fight? u kno what it Fully depends on the person and what Kind of fight but in spirit? always
im not gonna tag anyone Specifically but if anyone. wants to do it. go for it
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I was reading your tags and please, for the love of God, write a Mafia AU. I haven't been able to find any good ones.
i wanna so bad! i find organized crime fascinating, & i’m also a big movie nerd, with crime films being my fav genre, so im super into that sorta thing. definitely would love to see it, but o boy, maybe ill jus write it myself?? gotta do everythin myself haha
i’d def go the historical route, so it’d be interesting to try to both apply characters that are firmly rooted in 90s/2000s behaviors & beliefs, and stick them in the 1900s. oh, boy, writing historical stuff is a pain. so much research. worth it tho, if it’s done well. aye, and it’ll be cool to try to keep it as nonfictional as possible. like, attempting to insert the kids (as adults, obvs) into crime history. i wonder if i could do tht? it’d be fun. it’s definitely uncharted waters. there’s a lot of potential there.
but, hmm, i think mafia aus are so rare in fandom (not just the sp fandom, but across the board) bc they contradict everything that’s popular in fanfic. mob aus would feature violence, business, finances, and corruption. whereas fics prefer cuddles, leisure time, a world where money aint an issue, and wholesomeness. and considering the majority of fic is written by horny and/or love-starved teenage girls who dont know or care about the aforementioned subjects, it makes sense. kinda a bummer, but understandable. in the defense of like everyone, lmao, those sorta fics take a lot of planning, & aint nobody got time. so i get it.
oof i think a major thing too is how gay-centric fic/fandom is, when the mobster world is undeniably a heterosexual one. thats an issue. shit, i wonder how many gay characters i could get away with while keeping it realistic. i mean, im sure there were gay mobsters, in fact i’ve read about a couple, but the lifestyles did not go hand in hand, lol.
IM STUPID NO ONE CARES ABT THIS DUMB SHIT HERES IDEAS
i’m thinking 1940s new york. im inclined towards kyman, as u probs kno, but again, the gay thing. huh. maybe i can figure it out. maybe theyre young bachelors, and theyre business partners & fuck around sometimes. we’ll see. anyway. if we’re gonna include all characters….
cartman would pull a goodfellas - he’s of, what, german descent? hell, considering his parents, he probably wouldn’t even exist in this universe. eh. well. he’d def be from yorkville, manhattan, cuz tht was a german neighbourhood. anyway he’d weasel into the italian mob, bc he’d be into the idea of 1) exorbitant amounts of money, and 2) being feared/respected. his authoritah! psh. and someone would notice how smart he is & mentor him, regardless of nationality. he’d quickly make enemies, though, because he’s rude & brash. he’d also quickly become one of the most respected young dons (would he reach that level, without a family? doubt it. he’d have to become a made man, which i believe is reserved exclusively for italians ….. ehhhh ill figure it out. maybe he’d branch out, start his own crime family. that’d be interesting. ooo.) damn, ukno, i think the 40s would make a real interesting character out of cartman. huh. yah, that’d be cool to explore, how that time period would shape him. like i said, he likely wouldt even exist. did the denver broncos exist back then? doubt it
kyle would get wrapped up in the jewish mob (which existed, and which i’d personally l o v e to be a part of lol - if i was born 100 years ago), maybe while trying to protect ike from getting involved? that’d be cool. maybe he’d demonstrate his brains & be offered a job as an accountant or an attorney, and he’d be forced to comply, either bc 1) his fam was threatened if he declined, or 2) his fam was doing bad financially & needed it. maybe both. hell, maybe he avoids the jewish mob & gets involved with the others. MAYBE IKE IS THE ONE IN THE JEWISH MOB & WANTS HIS BROTHER BACK FROM THE ITALIANS. OOOOOOOOO also they’d be from brooklyn, likely, bc that’s where jews were primarily located back then. u kno there was 400k jews in new york in 1899?? including my great great great grandparents. that’s a shit ton of jews lol. lil fun fact for ya.
wait ok so oof this is hard now, bc the mob was primarily divided into three chunks - the italians, the jews, & the irishmen. there was also the puerto ricans, but that was, like, a different division. i’m mentioning this because nationality was important to mobsters, to all organized crimes groups actually, but south park doesn’t make a habit of mentioning what countries each character’s ancestors came from, lol. so it’d be a lot of writer interpretation. and that’s cool and all, but doesn’t give me much to work with, considering most of the kids are white and likely german/england-descended.
i could make kenny & butters irish. that’d work. i think kenny’s last names irish, actually. they could be from hell’s kitchen, which had a p hefty irish-american population. maybe i could make stan irish, too. wendy might be able to pass for italian (little italy manhattan??? maybe the bronx??? im tryna think geography lol. for scale.). that’d work, if i wanted to put some stendy in there, bc i love making stan the token het guy, haha. maybe wendys dad marries her off to stan to form an alliance between the italians & irish. that’d be interesting. maybe cartman was rallying to get wendy to marry him, bc he needed to marry someone bc of, like, societal expectations, & she was the only girl who caught his interest. maybe he declares war on stan, to win back the bride he wants. maybe kyles best friends w stan, tht happened somehow, & interjects. goes to meet cartman to discuss a way out - ohhhhh theres my kyman babay!!! oooooo!!!
omg. plot forming. this is def an interesting concept. maybe i can use it as a chance to write a plot-oriented fic that doesn’t rely heavily on ships. that’d be awesome. i’ve wanted to do that for ages.
maybe we can squeeze christophe in as a french immigrant, maybe an associate of someone. same with gregory, but, like, british. that’d be fun. craig & tweek can be somewhere in there, too. associates of cartman or something. maybe they own a brothel. oooh. who else. bebe! maybe she can be a cabaret dancer who someone falls for. nothin wrong w hetero nonsense if it’s done right & if it aint nonsense. yah? maybe she can be ken’s love interest. also maybe token & nichole can be in there somewhere, from harlem?
this sounds fun as fuck, though, def. im really obsessed with new york right now, so maybe writing this could be a love letter to its history. that’d be dope. ooh, and im from las vegas actually, born & raised, so maybe i could do a chapter set there, considering the mob was very influential in the strip’s development. that’d be rad. holy heck. im excited abt this now. gotta finish oboitd asap & get into this, haha.
o shit. i jus realized, like, just how much research i’d have to do. like, not only about organized crime, abt 40s slang & dress, abt new york, abt everything. oooh boy this is a Project
ill get on that eventually haha, im into it now. it’s 4am rn tho so ima sleep, gnite anon
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SURVEY RESULTS!
so! a week or so ago, i annoyed you all by constantly reblogging a link to a survey to help improve my blog? 53 of you guys responded which was really cool so thanks to those who take time out of their day to do so! below the cut, i’ve responses and next steps to the things you guys said as well as responses to things you’ve said so if you said something and you wanna see if i responded, click read more. or if you’re just curious:
My queue is currently set at 8 posts a day. This means a post every three hours. Is this too little, too less or okay?
that was question one and these were the results:
18.86% said “too little”
81.14% said “alright”
nobody said too little
next steps: the queue will stay as it is since its an overwhelming majority!
Do you think I reblog too many of the same people in terms of fc pictures/resources/etc to the point it becomes annoying?
that was question number two and these were the results:
90.6% said no
3.8% said yes
the rest said that things among the lines, “i follow you because you reblog those fcs”, “some more age and gender diversity” and “you’re fine”
next steps: no next steps really since no one said anything of concern. i’ll try and keep it up!
then i asked people if there was any they didn’t like and most of you guys said n/a accept for hailee steinfeld, olivia holt and dylan sprayberry. i tag every celebrity as “firstname lastname” so hailee is always tagged as “hailee steinfeld” pls feel free to blacklist but i will be slowing down on all three! hailee posts will most likely be limited to three posts a week maybe 4
then there was this dude:
first of all nobody has said anything before this survey so clearly i wasn’t annoying people that much so a) those people are blocked and b) you’re just a whiny bitch. anyways
I currently have a tag called "poc" where i put all non-white resources, psds etc. Would tags such as "poc psd" and "poc gif pack" be more suitable?
that was question number four i think? a lot of you pressed other so i can’t give decent percentages but thank you for your replies
next steps: i will be creating new tags for poc and tagging gif packs etc featuring people of colour as a separate thing. i will make a post when this is in effect. i will also create a whole poc section in my navi. thanks again to everybody!
What types of themes would you like me to reblog more of? Can select multiple options.
most of you guys picked all of them so it was pretty even tbh. some selected the other option and said pages and more accessible themes
next steps: i will do my very best to reblog more of each of those things. please don’t be mad if you don’t see immediate change because im busy these days and all!
What resources would you like me to reblog more of in general? Can select multiple options.
im gonna go for top two because they were in the lead:
77.4% said underused fcs
73.6& said gif packs
next steps: i will try and reblog both! i’ve found a few blogs that post exclusively underused fcs and i will regularly check tags such as “gif pack” to reblog from.
the next question was about trigger warnings and i won’t post them now but i am gonna make a list and a post announcing the list when it’s ready.
next was literally a free for all so im gonna answer things that i will are a concern:
well i sometimes try to request you something but it takes a lot before i gets answers and there is no rush but maybe make a todo list of requests you've accepted out of the messages you haven't replied to yet, so us requesters know if you got it/accepted it sofia says: i do have a tag. it’s stated on my faq too! im rlly busy these days so i don’t sometimes see something? you’re more than welcome to hit my ims up since im on mobile most of the time. sorry about the delays but please send a message confirming whether or not i got something. if i accept something, it’s replied to as well as denied stuff
more resources for graphic makers maybe?? a tag for all resources would be cool too. dont know if u have a mobile WID but that would also be nice imo. unsure tbh? but i tried!! sofia says: i’ll aim to reblog more textures but since im not a graphics maker myself idk what to reblog lmao. i do have a mobile wid! log onto my blog on mobile and you’ll see a link under my description. u did good bb thank u!
Christmas header!!! Girl, change it. But in terms of your actual theme, I adore it and it's gorgeous! sofia says: honey i kno!!!! i haven’t had the time to log into ps these days but it will be changed... before christmas :D
I think your blog is pretty swell as it is and it kind of makes me wanna become a rph??? so if you've got any tips please share tysm sofia says: dsbjgjbs thank u! um as for tips: stay in ur lane, reblog a lot of things and make things aswell. don’t be afraid to send yourself anons requesting things to get yourself out there!
i love your blog, i think you are one of the best rph's still going. you seem to stay out of most drama and just focus on helping people which is amazing. the one suggestion i have would be to stop reblogging gif icons if they weren't made by scratch from the op? sofia says: yeah i don’t do that anymore unless they are made from gif packs but i’ll keept that in mind???? sometimes ppl don’t have a choice and have to use gif hunts bc they can’t gif themselves/they don’t have the time
i do wish you posted less disney/nick fcs and maybe considered posting more mature actors but i wouldn't complain about which fcs you liked on your blog!! you're doing great and i love you and would love to be in a group with you if you ever want to post rp recs :) sofia speaks: yeah i will agree on that! my next season long project is most likely going to focus on an actor 30+ so look out! and i only make them because im tired of y’all using 30+ fcs as early 20s so i offer more variety????? but like i said i get what you mean! as for groups im in sidekickhq so hmu ! im also down for 1x1s
Less "REMINDER THAT..." "JUST SO YOU KNOW" "CALL OUT POST" "OMG THEY ARE SO PROBLEMATIC" posts? I know the tea is good™ but I don't want to open a rph blog and only find drama, you know? Also, what is the point of doing an honest survey if you are going to complain when someone says something about your blog that you don't like? The "too many resources of one fc that annoys you" question was there with Hailee in mind and she was the first one to come to everyone's mind, regardless of your URL. Everytime there is a "Sofia Speaks"post it's more of Sofia Complains and it didn't use to be like that? I miss your positive vibes and posts. sofia says: alright honey take a fucking seat because i have shit to say to your and your whiny ass. first of y’all you’re the one who sounds hella drama filled tbh. and i don’t really reblog those and when i do it’s got proof and it’s me saying don’t play rapists guys! sorry if you’re so offended by that and call it drama???? and like 2 people said hailee out of 53???? so uhhhhh where are you getting everyone from buddy? where’s your proof????????? and im allowed to use my tag for when i want????? it’s tagged so people can blacklist it? why do your think i tag it lmao??????????? and im not even here these days tbh? anyways i really want your to unfollow me if you haven’t and there is a line between constructive criticism and just bitching. you’re just bitching. and not in a good kinda stranger things way.
talk to us more 😤 sofia says: literally hit me up in my ims! and im sorry i seem distant im just so busy rip! but please come to me i will love you down!
and we’re done! thanks guys for your responses! see you around!
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Idk if you're still doing this but I was creeping creeping in your blog and ⚠️💙👅🎬
it took me like 10 whole seconds to figure out what this meant i forgot i rb that ask iwuehifuwhoiejfowijeofjwe⚠ if you were going on a date with baekhyun, where would you take him?idc anywhere he wants to go he wants to go to hawaii?? ill go into debt buying us first class tickets and a scuba diving and jet ski tour there i’ll take him on a food tour if he wants we can go to every major 5 star restaurants in japan !! if he wants to stay home and play games we can do that too he can teach me how to play lol and i can cook him doritos and gatorade i literally dont care im crying just thinking about this💙 pick one personality trait from each member.jongdae - his kindness #UltimateAngelAnticsjunmyeon - his selflessness he puts the others before himself and is always looking out for them he’s not just a good leader but a good friendjongin - idk if this counts as a personality trait but the way he thinks is fascinating like julie said to me once i wanna have a conversation w/ him have u read any of his interviews?? so interestingbbh - the members always say hes the moodmaker i think its bc hes very aware of others and can get a good read on ppl or sense of them and then adjusts in a way to make others comfortable and laugh and be happy togetherksoo - HE’S SO ENDEARINGminseok - he’s literally so funny one of the most underrated comedians of exoyixing - ive never known a more passionate person in my lifesehun - loyalty.. he keeps in touch with all his friends like when he posted johnny’s debut pics for nct limitless on ig???? i was crying like they still talk they’re still close of course they are sehun is the most loyal kind of friend and that one guy he posted about from produce 101 also went to exordium dot and in my heart i kno sehun invited him... he loves his members so much he’d do anything for them.. samechanyeol - the way he loves it’s so heart-warming i think he doesn’t kno how to love things/people without giving 100% of his heart away... whyd i just cry lol👅pick a body part from each member.lmfao okayksoo - cheeks (like when he smiles??? he’s a peach)bbh - mouth... :^)jongin - legs or not to sound like bbh but he’s got a dancer’s buttjongdae - eyebrows siefjowijefminseok - eyesjunmyeon - his face in general he’s really handsome?? princely.. ppl were saying cosmetic surgeons say he has the best face and i believe them osiejfoiwjefsehun - this is gonna sound weird but forehead and i have a reason it’s bc i have a thing for those haristyles he does where u can see his foreheadyixing - DIMPLESchanyeol - not to be so cliche but ears🎬 if your bias were to be the star of a movie, what kind of movie would it be?UHHH I GOT A LOT OF THINGS TO SAY RMR THAT MOVIE BASED OFF THE WEBTOON DOKGO THAT FELL THROUGH BUT BBH WAS GONNA PLAY THAT ONE CHARACTER WHO COULD ACTUALLY KICK SOME MAJOR @$$ BUT CHOOSES NOT TO BC HE ISN’T ONE FOR VIOLENCE UNLESS NECESSARY I RMR READING THE CHARACTER WAS SKILLED W/ A KNIFE IN PARTICULAR I THINK?? AND HE DELIVERS CHICKEN AS A JOB AND HIS CHARACTER WAS KIND OF WEIRD/ECCENTRIC OR SOMETHING IDK IT SOUNDED SO INTERESTING I WAS SO HYPED AND THEN THE PROJECT DIED???? WELP TURNS OUT HE WASN’T EVEN INVOLVED AT ALL BUT THAT WOULD BE THE KIND OF FILM I’D BE SO INTO HE CAN DO ACTION HE IS A MARTIAL ARTS MASTER... I GOT MORE TO SAY BUT I’LL SHUT UP NOW
#sorry this is so long i dont kno how to shut up#thanks for the message!! soifjowijeofijoejf#im the monster ref in ur ask#have a good day/night!!#laylienn
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#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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#today has been a day. as in time did pass. the earth rotated. and i accomplished very little#bc im just feeling paralyzed and not so good. and i guess thats understandable#like i understand y its happening but its not any less frustrating. mostly its just knowing that i have to make life altering decisions in#the next few weeks. and the pressure of: if i dont decide to go for this one project then they dont get a student and they dont get funding#that makes me pretty nauseous. and knowing i have an interview Thursday that im not ready for and i dont really wanna do#and its a product of not talking to people like a human being. like i just dont interact with people much. when im in the lab i mostly#stand around looking unapproachable or go in when i kno there's no one there and i just dont have close friends so i dont really talk to or#text anyone. i just work and fail to get things done. so then when im in a situation where i have to talk to ppl its all anxious shrapnel#or me dominating the conversation bc i cant stand the pauses and i have so much obsessivly rotatinf in my head. and i hate it. im so sick#of hearinf my own voice but no one talk in the way i want them to. i get so bored. and i want to ask pressing and uncomfortable things but#i kno i shouldnt. but i also dont really have a filter so ill just say fucking whatever. which is what i did Saturday when a triggering#topic of conversation arose. so now my lab mate officially knows too much. but whatever wtf is he gonna do abt it. i just get so annoyed#bc now its in my head. thr fact it set me off and that i overshared and that now its in my head. annoying.#and it doesn't help with the writing things i need to finish. bc i dont like feeling like ive done something wrong and one of the reviewers#has good points. which also probably means ill have to redo my 8 days of measurements so far#but i also might b able to shorten the timeline so idk. just a lot is happening rn and i feel the pressure and by brain doesn't like#pressure. and not doing things rn is not good. things need to be done#so idk i dont feel good but it makes sense. by the end of February hopefully things will b figured out#and i should sleep and hope for a better tomorrow#unrelated
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#ay ay ay. my head feels like its stuffed completely full of cotton. bulging at the seems#its just that wrung out ive been crying too much feel. i just had to do a bunch of application stuff yesterday night#and there were way too many tears so i work up out of focus with salt in my eyelashes. so i wasnt that productive despite the fact i really#need to b rn. and i met with my boss for our weekly meeting and its just so many things i have to do#like theres this procedure for some new equipment we have and im testing it out but like she wants to see it in action and im like treading#close to dangerously unstable so the chances i burst into tears in public is quite high which is why i hide in my apartment and only go to#the lab when no ones there. but no im prob gonna have to go in Thursday and have to go drive like and hr away next week so we can hopefully#have all the equipment we need for another project thats gonna kill me. plus we got contacted by a group we were gonna work with last year#who wanna work with us again. which is objectively good like itll look real good on a cv to b involved and like even non science ppl would#prob find it cool. but i csnt feel any of that bc i dont kno how im gonna be able to go back and forth contacting the other lab group i#have to work with in order to do everything. which its like itll b fine#ive done it before. 2 of the 3 things i have done before so itll be fine. it just doesn't feel like it#it feels like im dissolving into pieces and everythings spinning too fast. theres a film between myself and everything else so i cant touch#anything and it cant touch me.#and its weird bc i know that burning myself out is what got me here but i still cant detatch myself from the soul crushing guilt of not#making every second productive. its disorienting bc my brain will b like: u should just stay here over break and get stuff done#and like no. thats objectively the worst thing i could possibly do. i just feel like a wet glob of paper towels. ive already committed#myself to only 13 days being gone. only have to trudge through like 21 days 1st. how? no idea#like im sure itll b fine but somethings gotta give before my brain implodes beyond repair. if were not there already#ay everytime my boss says something nice abt me to someone it just feels like a knife in the gut. like shes not lying but i just feel like#ive fallen so far that shes talking abt a past verson of me and it makes me sad. like idk how obvious it is but im sure i have terrible#vibes irl lol like the sort of pained twisted up little smiles u make when u dont wanna lie but u dont wanna b honest ay#itll b fine. i can feel the floorboards giving way so somethings close to giving just have to see where and in what form the metaphor#actulizes. hopefully it does so quickly bc im bored and tired of living like this. and i dont really wanna go home and explode into tears#like a child and have my parents deal with me. which they would bc theyre great. i just dont wanna worry them sigh...#unrelated#i should sleep bc i gotta get up and burn my brain out being a scribe tomorrow morning. at least i get to hang out with someone cool
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#im just gonna b a whiney bby for a sec bc im tired and i spent too long out in the sun :-P#we left at like 7.30 for sampling and got back around 4 so like it was a long day. it wasnt too awful tho#only kinda awful. but thats not what i wanna complain abt. i wanna complain bc we have this project looming#bc our machines r coming back. so i have to make sure i can connect the stupid cameras thru code stuff and make sure the chambers r built#and i dont wanna do any of this bc i kno this project is gonna cause me physical and Phycological pain#like all the projects we're collecting for. last time i had to work with the samples i got a little too close to a like full of breakdown#so my brain and body dont wanna do it. and this specific project has potential to b even worse that what i usually do so fml#sigh... i just dont wanna be here doing what im doing anymore. ive stopped having fun. my boss is like wow u r gonna be the person ppl#think of on X topic once u get all this published and its like. god i dont fucking care.#when i think of the data all i can think of is how awful it was collecting it. everytime it cuts a bigger and bigger wound in me#like i think its done long term damage to my psychy. i burned out too hard too many times.#so i dont wanna do it. i dont wanna push these projects forward. and i dont wanna collect more data from 2 other sites bc i kno the more i#collect the worse its gonna be. ugh. whatever. im sure itll b fine. bc im less invested in what im doing so maybe this time ill have a#healthier way of dealing with it idk. im just sick of it. and that's really sad.#ugh. whatever. i have a big meeting with a guy tomorrow and idk what device im gonna use to zoom with him#bc my computer screen is fucked and the camera makes me look like im at the bottom of a well...#i need a new computer... agh. whatever ive gotta reread some of his papers#i hope he likes me. he's at a way too prestigious school so im like. way too intimidated. but like im sure he just wants passion#ans ive got passion. Hopefully ive also got the stuff for knicking a full ride scholarship as well#yea right... but idk ill fucking go for it bc why not#hhhh i just wanna b in a future what i have the perfect phd program and its all sorted out#unrelated
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