#and i dont think anything has ever hurt so much

[thunder-wolf64]

Ugh okay I'm about to get very not silly.

Content warning for: Sexual Assult, Body image issues, self harm, probably some depression.

Hmm. I want to talk about this incase I can give strength to anyone else. I know my problems are not as bad as others, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and it's not valid.

Ive mentioned my fear of small children, I've mentioned really not liking a family friend (to a point that being forced to stay in a cabin with them made me feel so bad I dug my nails into my skin and scarred my arm and hand)

This all partly relates to one incident many years ago. I dont remember how old I was? Must have been earlier middle school?

The family friends I'm referring to have a son. He's a lot younger than me. He's neurodivergent in some way, he doesn't have the best idea of social anything.

I was staying at the family friends' cabin, my family and theirs. There was a guest cabin. I had just taken a shower to clean off the lake water. I was standing in the guest cabin looking at myself in the mirror by the beds, brushing my hair. I had major body image issues with good ol' puberty. I hated how I looked and i felt shameful when my shirt clung to my chest extra tight. I knew I would dry off more, and it would be less form fitting. I thought i could just stay in the guest cabin until then.

Then all the little kids, the boy and my two sisters, burst in, chasing each other around as kids do. I was still brushing my hair.

Something immature boys find funny is the word "boobs" he laughed at me and kept repeating the word. I adjusted my shirt as best I could I wanted to tell him off, but I was scared I would get in trouble if I made him upset.

I went back to looking in the mirror and brushing my hair. He ran past, giving my boob a poke as he sprinted out the door, my sisters in tow. That was it. That is what the warning was for. A touch. Over in a second.

I was panicked, I didn't know what to do. I sat on the bed for awhile, crying and thinking of what to do. It felt like forever. And as embarrassing as it is to say... at that time in my mind I felt as if it was my fault, as if I had a sign pointing to me saying "touch me". And with that in mind, I calmed myself down, told myself i wouldn't say anything, and walked back to the main cabin.

And when I walked in, it was tense. The boy was getting a talking to from his mother, and mine walked over to me.

She asked me if i was okay.

I said I was fine, confused. Thinking its not like he shoved me, punched me, hurt my physically. My mind did not corelate the emotional anguish rushing though my head as I felt even more shame that people knew. that they had told on themselves somehow.

I was not okay, i am still not okay. And it really sucks. I can't blame everything on one incident. But oh man can I corelate a lot of my problems with that incident.

Tight clothes made me feel like scum. Ive only ever worn sports bras that leave me with terrible chest pain. I still cant stand a tight fitting shirt, a v-neck. I can't stand my feminine traits. Because that's what got me into the mess in the first place.

Something so small can mess you up so much. And I'm sick of not acknowledging it. Everyone has forgotten or said nothing. And I feel like I'm going crazy.

So if you made it this far, your struggles are valid. Your feelings are valid. No matter what happend, everyone takes things differently.

And i don't know if I'll can call this sexual assault, but it feels like it was, and that's what should matter.

Everyone stay safe

[commandtower-solring-go]

.

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[deadqueernoldor]

Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.

I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.

And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.

If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.

I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[im-smart-i-swear]

very importrant oc diagram

more in depth descriptions of this stuff below ig

omg same trauma - sympathy and respect but also acknowledging youre not the same. propably the most normal out of the three options. you know very intimate stuff about this person but you have never met and its weird. you live your life normally but sometimes you wonder what it would be like to meet him

i will never be as cool - constantly comparing yourself to him to the point a big chunk of your personality still revolves around your connection to him (in ryous case this is mixed with seeing shiro as a sort of idealised perfect father figure despite never having interacted with the guy before)(its really weird and he tries to be secretive abt it but the others knows anyway)(like kiddo they can tell)(youre not subtle at all). he is soooo good and so pure and perfect and you will never live up to that no matter how hard you try. there must be something wrong with you

gender dysphoria - what it says on the tin. you have this guys memories and voice and body and face and it makes you want to scream and cry and kill him and bury his body in the woods so nobody can ever find it

(also to clear things up this diagram and the explanations are written from a point in the timeline before the whole 'stickbug gets mind controlled' thing so the clones havent met shiro yet)(also also obv this is pretty simplified)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[phagodyke]

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

[unculturedswine69]

WAIT HELP I READ TOO FAST 😭😭

omg but who are your favs in the twdg games... 😳😳😳

OH HFHGFHJ ITS FINE I DO THAT ALL THE TIME TOO BUT YEAH AS YOU KNOW I LOVE THE GAMES AND SHOW AND ALSO THE COMIC!! BUT FOR THE GAMES UHMMM..omg this is SUCH a tough question honestly?? like, i feel very complicated about basically every character in this series so its hard to just pick one fave....

hmm i will say tho i have ALWAYS loved Lee and Clementine (obviously,who doesnt hehe) i just love them sm 😭the first game just makes me so emotional FRFR in the first game i also loved Ben,Chuck, Omid and Christa and Molly!! id also include Kenny but...i have a sorta love/hate relationship with that guy 😭😭😭😭hes such a good character tho!! in general i think the first game was just so good😌😌

for the other games im less familiar with them since ive only played the other seasons once each so my memory is probably a little off,but i remember really liking Sarah ,Nick,Luke and Jane from the 2nd season,but again i think some of these characters are like. love/hate with me currently,i think s2 is so turbulent that its kinda hard to pick faves really (for me atleast) with the 3rd season i remember LOVING that Tripp guy and also Javier,but its been years since i last played the game so i probably have a bunch of different opinions on everything now😭😭in general i just dont remember too much from that game,i definitely have to replay it eventually..for s4 tho?? hmm honestly,i think i loved like,90% of the cast in that LMAO but i think i liked uhhm AJ the most.and also i think his name was Asim (or aasim) and Ruby,i liked them alot i think,and louis and violet too 😌😌😌also the dog?? does the dog count??? in general i just thought the characters were pretty interesting in that game,but again i think ima just have to replay all of these again to see how i REALLY feel

ANYWAYS THANKS FOR THE QUESTION AURA!!! i would LOVE to know your faves too😈😈😈😈😈😈

[quietwingsinthesky]

i am not immune to making Terrible Evil Bastard Man get attached to a stubborn feral child and having to carry her around when she inevitably gets tired during time travel adventures

[hoperays-song]

Can you explain things you want to happen to Johnny in the next sing movie(or project or if they make a graphic novel) mine is that he makes his own song.

Ooooooo, thank you for the ask!!!! I'm so sorry in advance, I'm gonna ramble here lol. - <3 Gooseless

--------------------------------- So I actually want a few things to happen in the next project (the continuation fic is essentially all of it lol), but I would definitely agree on the original songs front! That's for sure on my list.

One of the main things though, the biggest one actually, is to continue with Johnny's storyline as a queer allegory. We've already faced familial acceptance in the first movie, community acceptance with the second movie (though I have so many issues with how the dance class was handled), and it would be nice to just wrap it up with personal acceptance. And that might seem out of order but it actually isn't in a lot of cases. I know, for me at least, I spent so much time right after coming out defending my place and my identity to the world around me that I never really took the moment to process I could just finally be myself, and that it was ok to exist. I feel like a storyline like that with Johnny would be amazing, as there are numerous ways to go that route, like romantic (please, I want to see Rynny more than anything, PLEASE) or personal (Johnny finally putting out boundaries with his workload).

This would be an awesome storyline to see through either of those lenses, with a romantic arc featuring Johnny and Ryan being able to use a much more obvious way of showing this, especially if Ryan has already reached personal acceptance. Why that is is because throughout his previous storylines, Johnny has a specific support system for each, with familial being the troupe and community being Nooshy, so it would make sense if the love interest in this scenario, Ryan, took on that role this time around. It works really well in this option as it leads to really cute moment possibilities of the characters, particularly Johnny, just letting himself exist and have something for himself. And I will admit that I feel this is the best option for this storyline, as it is pretty blunt and up-front with the coding then, just like Johnny's other storylines, but also allows Johnny to have something for himself (his identity and his relationship) instead of how we see all his developments in the past movies, aka being broadcasted to the world and not really giving the kid any privacy. He deserves something for himself. And I feel like a relationship with Ryan could be that thing.

But like I said, you could work it as personal as well, with Johnny finally putting forward boundaries with Buster due to the workload the man keeps assigning the poor kid. I feel like a good support system here could be Ryan (if they are in an already established relationship) or his dad and uncles as they would have life experience to advise him on the matter. Johnny is heavily overworked throughout both movies and it seems like the expectations for him are really high, so a moment of him just letting himself exist as the ordinary person he is would probably be very therapeutic for him.

I personally wish they would go in the series direction instead of another movie, allowing for more detail to be poured into the characters, and that is kinda the format in which the continuation fic is written, in a way easily translated to a series. However, I have posted an idea for a Sing 3 set after a time jump around Johnny's story that I'll link below. It kinda goes into the previously mentioned wants for a series but having those already happen and mainly talks about ways to get queer rep around hate groups.

So yeah, I really want to see a personal acceptance journey for Johnny, letting the kid see he doesn't have to fight for who he is or his place anymore, he can just be Johnny, however that looks like.

---------------------------------

Here's the Sing 3 idea thing!

[bittwitchy]

sometimes life w a v high pain tolerance means im still in pain but quiet abt it to not bother other ppl and sometimes it means im in such horrific pain for literally no reason (there is a reason oft just related to afab insides so ppl dont care) but i have to go to work anyways bc calling out is bad and somehow its ‘so brave’ to work while wanting to die as your insides torture you it feels like youre burning alive and your organs are breaking but hey we gotta go earn that dough right

[girlcrushau]

[angelstrawbabie420]

hmm i think i am not coping. very well

[vilelittlecritter]

Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of