#and i dont have anything left so i have to give more kudos

[aetsiv]

sometimes if i like a fic enough i log out of my ao3 acc and give it guest kudos as well

[thebearme]

TIME TO ANSWER QUESTION ABOUT FAMILY!!!

The meeting up was more of a surprise visit than anything planned, but it when well. Donut's interactions with Petey was pretty normal... well as normal something could be in the dogman universe. A couple of dumb invasive questions but overall Donut means well, but it is draining Petey's patients.

"Yes, I was the world's most evilest cat."

"No, I won't get into the nitty-gritty of how that happened."

"Yes, Lil Petey looks exactly like me because he was made in a cloning machine."

"No, I won't explain why my tail is shorter than his."

"Yes, me and your brother are parenting him together."

"NO, WE AREN'T MARRIED!"

"NO, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO PARENT A CHILD!"

"NO I WONT EXPLAIN THE WHOLE DUMB SOCIAL CONSTRUCT THAT MAKES PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THE ONLY WAY A CHILD CAN BE RAISED RIGHT IS WITH MAN AND WOMAN MATRIMONY!!"

"Yes.... I can get you water."

Swoopy interaction with Petey was quick and short. He doesn't talk/bark... or sign.

Cocoa never talked to a cat before, let alone TWO. So if there's any sibling that going to embarrass Dogman, it's gonna to be her. Asking if it true that "cats have nine lives" or that "cats have a more sophisticated taste than other animals" or "do you have like, a billion different degrees. Oh what am I talking about, you probably already at the trillions, aren't you?" While Petey funny enough never even went to college. AND dropped out of high school when he was younger as well... But hey, even though all of those are dumb cat stereotypes he DOES enjoy being called smart.

Donut is a fun uncle to Lil Petey, telling him fun stories from when he was a pup, teaching him how to bake and all types of silly stuff.

Swoopy is like Ice bear from we bare bears, so it's a gamble if Lil Petey and him would have a normal day if you left them alone.

Cocoa (I admit I thought more in-depth about) would try to impress Lil Petey with her "travels around the world". Tho this is a big lie, she has been living on a milk farm. She doesn't think any of her REAL stories about how they make almonds into milk is really that interesting, at least to a city boy like Lil Petey and she just wants to be seen as the cool aunt! Eventually with enough pestering from Dogman, told the truth to Lil Petey and was surprised by the fact he was ACTUALLY INTERESTED in how it's like working in a farm. Anyways, Cocoa is definitely the aunt you invite if you're playing pretend or something.

Oh most definitely! I feel like he wants a sibling since he met Molly and all her brothers and sisters. Even though the household is completely chaotic he still wants a sibling.

Now don't ask me for some Detey fankid design because I don't do good in making things like that. Idk why but with all my years and different fandoms and ships I've been into, I can't imagine fankid designs for the life of me. Never had but kudos to the people who can.

Yup, If anything I think they would adopt. Idk it just feels in character, they just home a kid for a bit until uh oh- we accidentally planned a college fund- I guess we're gonna have another kid now.

Well I'll try explaining how the beginning went. It definitely was a surprise for Dogman's parents. Lil Petey had this all planned out before hand so when Petey and Dogman were getting groceries thats when Lil Petey went to get his grandpa- which was easy because the security in cat jail is crap. "Can I take my Grandpa for a night, we're gonna have a big family dinner." and a thank you note left for the Warden, went he notices after his long monolog about how he can't just let Gramps leave. 80HD was the only to grab Maggie and Joe, They all eventually met up at the house.

LP apologizes about the abrupt napping of the two and gives a proper introduction. "Hi I'm Lil Petey, your grandson!" "We kinda met before but I didn't get to say hi, so.. hi!"

The pair are still in a daze of confusion over what's even happening and HOW could this kitten be their grandson? Looking over to the old feline next to him they can guess that he's the grandfather... he kinda looks like that one cat that was with them in the first visit to the ranch. Was he the father? Does that mean-

Before the two can spiral into their next conclusion LP starts up again.

"We you two like to stay for dinner? Papa and Dogman should be coming home with the groceries soon."

With abit of distain in their face at the name "Dogman" they surprisingly nodded a silent yes to the question of if they'll stay or not.

This immediately supports Lil Petey's hopes in the situation. I was right, They do still care! They just need to talk with each other and actually talk. And maybe soon Dogman can have his parents again and we can be a big family! Plus- If it annoys Grampa enough maybe he'll admit he's wrong and start actually caring for once!

The kid is abit too optimistic because this is Grampa we're talking about and just because he's been good recently doesn't mean he's been tamed.

Grandpa has no interest in playing along with the kid, he may have not act out recently- all because that big loaf of a purple cat wouldn't let him anytime he was outside. But this time he eat what he wants, say what he wants, take what he wants and DO what he wants.

Of course Gramps can't try to steal everything in the house but 1) the house is endless. 2) he'll be robbing from a cop, and Gramps is smarter then THAT! So he sticks with playing along, at least act like he cares... but he'll make sure the dinner isn't COMPLETELY boring. The best/worst thing about Gramps is that he can read people and read them well. Seeing from the two dogs expressions and body language, there must be some tension between them and their son. Some tension, ey? That's fun.

Sorry for no drawing with this but the answer for how the interactions went was... something.

They are tense about the whole thing but they do ask Lil Petey more about himself. And of course LP gladly tells them and even shows a little comic he made before hand with them in it. It's about them and Dogman forgive each other and become a big family- LP isn't sneaking ok but he's trying.

This is all before Dogman and Petey enter the house.

Im sorry that's what yall giving off /j

anyway- I never planned out the full dinner. So even if wrote it out instead of illustrating it, I still wouldn't have much. I'm sorry guys.

I only got these bulletpoints.

Quiet dinner till someone talks first.

Dogman's parents don't have a good bias towards cats. So this is making Petey REALLY irritated. Which cycles back to this REALLY not being a good idea.

LP leaves for a second to make a little phone call

Petey prays that some kind of monster or villain of the week shows up to stop the dinner. But no it's even worse-

Molly should up to help LP and soften the tension.

But the tension finally blows when Gramps decides to spill the ONE big open secret that everyone but him promises to not bring up. "If you hate how your son looks so much then you got Petey to really blame. It is his fault that the old Greg and Knight you knew are gone."

Plates were smashed and food was flying all before dessert.

Gramps was sent back to jail no duh and 80HD took Molly and Dogman's parents home. Petey and Dogman comfort and clean up Lil Petey and tell him- "Although what you did was bad we understand why you did it. But Lil Petey, sometimes there are families that can't reconcile with. No matter how much you want them to, no matter how much you try, it's doesn't mean it will work and that's okay."

"I wish my parents could be in my life, to see us grow and change and cherish everything around us but they can't... I've accepted that, because if I have to choose a family I'm only attracted to by birth that doesn't want me for me OR a mitch-match of misfits that care about each other through thick and thin. Then I'm choosing my misfits no matter what."

I probably made you cry, oops! If this inspires anyone to make something DO IT!! I love creative so go crazy.

[the-kipsabian]

wrestling fic writers!!

i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months

if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found

and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom

and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways

a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜

nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you

and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)

as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!

101 comment starters

ao3 floating comment box

kudos html

dont know how to comment? easy solutions

a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)

an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers

and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place

i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together

happy sharing and commenting 💜💜

[forgotten-daydreamer]

why do you care if people book mark and dont comment?

Because you guys read that shit for free. Letting authors know what you think about their works that you read for free is the least you can do, it's the bare minimum. You (general) are all so used to saving insta/tiktok videos without even liking them that you think it works like that, you think it's normal- but it's not.

Imagine you're, like, eating at your friend's house. So, for free. How does that work? You eat, and then you go "Hey man, thanks." or "That tasted amazing!" or "Mh, I'd have added more salt because I think it tasted kinda bland tbh?" ( -> constructive criticism, very different from "Oh this sucked." "Why?" "Just 'cause.").

You don't get up from the table and leave, whether you liked the food or not. And you don't get up, say nothing, and grab the left-overs to take them home.

No. You set your dirty dish in the sink (kudos), say something, anything (comments) - because, fuck, you had free food, and it was probably your favourite (because you don't just read random stuff, you look for shit you think you may like). And then you grab the left-overs (bookmarks). You friend won't mind, if anything, they'll be honoured.

Kudos > comment > bookmark, in that order. Kudos may be optional because if you really hated something, which is fair, you can leave a comment with constructive criticism (because you're not six, you don't go "This sucks." and dip, you elaborate your thoughts or shut tf up) without, of course, giving kudos.

You know, the food metaphor really wouldn't work here, I guess, but it does with fics: we authors write shit we like. If you liked a fic and want to find someone who did too, someone with your same interests - well, that someone is me, the author.

I really can't explain it better than this. Thank you for this question!!

[ivymarquis]

9, 11, 12🖤

🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

There's actually several! Just so I dont spill all my beans in one ask, one I don't think Ive even posted the concept of is a fic where Knight!Ghost is the general of a kingdom's army. Princess!Reader finds herself in an extremely precarious situation following the sudden death of her father, the king.

With the kingdom on the brink of war, it's decided a good old fashion tournament will solve the "who will be king" problem- a claim by conquest and by marrying the princess will give legitimacy to whoever steps up given that the nation is about to go into a total fucking freefall.

Ghost obviously will be wiping the floor with everyone and there will be some delightful tension because he's more interested in winning the war and defending the last surviving member of the family he's sworn to protect, and meanwhile princess!reader is left bewildered at how he's not, uh, interested in consummating's the marriage (and the political fallout from that!)

🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

In my "Ghoap x reader" omegaverse fic I'm hitting a block right at the beginning lmao rip

I know the boys are deployed and are quickly gonna find themselves dealing with a needy omega in heat when they get back home (their beloved reader <3) and just need to settle on like. Do they text her they're coming back and that's what gets her going? Do they try to surprise her only to realize she's having the world's worst heat and holy fuck it's a good thing they came home when they did? I have so many choices and am struggling with which one to go with!

❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

I'm smooching you!!!!!

Help me procrastinate on my WIPs!!!

[wackywheel]

OKAY. kudos to @cantbelieveivedonethis​​ for getting the ball rolling on this theory with this post. cannot stress that enough + i dont wanna steal her thunder

ive mentioned previously that ive had this theory for quite some time, so much so that a future plot point of my fic may end up getting spoiled if i talk about it too much but FUCK IT! c!connor lore comes first i’m saying my piece

(readmore for convenience that hopefully works)

The Basics to preface this theory, i would like to remind everyone of one important facet of c!connor's character that feels as though it's been forgotten recently; c!connor views himself as The Main Character. obviously, this isn't anything big in the grander scheme of the server. everyone considers themselves to be the main characters of their stories! but this post is about c!connor, not the rest of the server. (at least, not until a little later)

The Underdog imagine this; it's your first day on the server! your best friend just died. over the course of the next year you'll not only get kicked out of every home you build for yourself, but you'll also get tortured, horribly traumatized, and left to fend for yourself by everyone around you. and yet...

Despite Everything, It’s Still You c!connor still treats everyone that he comes across with kindness and understanding. i won't spend a whole lot of time talking about him as some do, but it's definitely worth mentioning c!tommy's importance to this facet of c!connor's identity. the kid treated him like absolute shit, and still doesn't really take him all that seriously most of the time. despite this, though, c!connor still treats him with respect and kindness, even going so far as to say that he misses him in the same way that he misses c!schlatt. and that's saying something. but, enough about tommy.

when we compile all of these aspects of connor's character and shift our focus to pandora's vault, though, some pieces start to fall into place.

The Hero's Journey an underdog who cares for those around him, despite how they might have once wronged him that's looking for a way to bring himself to the top as not just A main character, but THE main character? someone with a motive to revive his dead best friend, who he's stated that he misses dearly quite a bit? someone that knows exactly WHERE and WHO could possibly give him access to this capability to revive people? hmm...

The Belly of the Beast in case it wasn't obvious already from that last section, here's my claim: i don't think there was ever a fake military id, nor was c!connor arrested whatsoever. i think that he actively went to pandora's vault and asked to be let in in order to try to get the revive book information from c!dream himself. as the title of this section suggests, this would be c!connor's moment where he enters the most dangerous place he's dealt with yet, (i mean, to our knowledge. as of today [2/08/22] we have no clue what c!connor's been up to offscreen if tales s2 does end up showing him doing it!) which holds one of the server's most powerful people.

The Warden's Toll now, here's the part where i completely shift gears and talk about c!sam. y'know, the guy who threw his entire life and almost every real friendship away for the sake of holding c!dream in the prison until he handed over the revive book info? who had dealt with visits going wrong before, to the point that he had to watch a guy get beaten to death and then revived and then traumatized even more than he'd already been before? yeah, that guy! why would he ever let c!connor in the prison?

well, i've actually already answered my own question partly on c!sam's side of things. less so for c!connor, ironically.

The Gamble we know why c!connor wants into the prison. he wants the revive book to bring c!schlatt back. why would c!sam let him in? because the revive book is all that was holding c!dream inside anymore. as soon as the nitty gritty of revival was taken and given to the wider server, (or possibly just c!quackity. you know how he is!) the burden of the prison, of pandora's vault, the one thing that had taken everything from c!sam would have finally been worth it. he could go back to how things used to be before taking up the mantle of the warden!

The Heist so c!connor would be allowed in. not directly to the main cell, of course! the rest of the guards were nowhere to be found, and the incident with c!tommy prior was plenty a reason to not let visitors get locked into the main cell with the main prisoner ever again. so, instead, c!sam took c!connor to a standard cell. later on when the warden wouldn't be as busy, (hopefully because the other guards would show their faces) c!connor would be able to be escorted in to begin the interrogation. it was a perfect plan! all c!connor would have to do is wait for a little while in a normal cell, no biggie!

When Everyone's Super, No-One Is this, obviously, isn't what happened, though. we know the story. the day before the prison break c!ranboo was taken in, c!techno witnessed it, yadda yadda yadda you get the picture. c!connor never got his chance to shine, to be the hero that did a service to his friend and the rest of the server, to be the main character, because another one showed up and stole the spotlight before he could even try, thus shifting the narrative away.

Proof After the Fact okay, enough hypotheticals. what do i have that supports this theory after the fact? simple. this hannah lore stream (if the link breaks in the future, i'm talking about the one from 1/27/22.) in specific, c!sam's kind and neutral treatment of c!connor, even when the guy straight up talks about how he was in the prison prior. wouldn't c!sam have more of a reaction to that if c!connor had actually been being held there for what he claims he was? yes, obviously at the time c!sam was dealing with the fallout of losing his main prisoner, but c!connor is just. so blunt about it? and despite that, c!sam still offers him a job at the bank and everything?

something absolutely does not add up here. hopefully this explains it, though!

[butchdogthing]

wrote a garashir fic check it out

title: Accommodations

summary:

"I have autism." By the delivery of it, it felt as though there was an expectation that Garak should know what that meant. — Julian asks Garak to make him a new uniform.

5k words, general audiences (but heed CWs below), garak and bashir silly flirty friendship shit. julian is autistic.

notes:

references to major spoilers through early season 7 - takes place between s07e03 “Afterimage” and s07e21 “When It Rains…”

content warnings: big warning for anti-autistic ableism and child abuse. eugenics and so-called “treatments” are discussed. some language is used which may be considered outdated, pathologizing, or not-preferred, but there are no slurs. i’ll tell you that it ends on a positive note.

also available on archiveofourown. if you enjoy it go hit kudos on there! you dont need an account to do so. and uhhh idk, i likely won’t use this blog for anything really, follow me on twitter, art account is butchdogthing and star trek account is omicrontheyta

story under the cut. some more notes at the end.

"Alterations are one thing, Doctor, but to craft an entirely new uniform?"

"Are you saying you're not up for the task?"

"Not at all! I'm merely surprised - aren't there regulations against that sort of thing?"

This earned Garak a skeptical scowl from Doctor Bashir, who pushed off from the shop wall against which he'd been leaning. "From what I understand, you were happy to make a uniform for Nog ." There was a definite tone of accusation to the statement, but he took it in stride, waving a hand dismissively in Bashir's direction.

"No one looks at a lowly Ensign long enough to even tell his species , let alone notice that his uniform is cut from Bolian cotton rather than Terran polyester." - he made a point of eyeing the doctor up and down, from head to toe - "But the Chief Medical Officer of a space station? The station at the head of the war against the Dominion, no less? Everyone's got their eye on him . And I'd like to keep my tail attached, not add it to some austere Admiral's trophy collection when the question arises of just who aided and abetted in Doctor Bashir's dismissal of uniform code."

Bashir crossed his arms. "Garak, please, you're being beyond overreactive right now."

"Oh, am I?"

"No one pays attention to that regulation anyway. It's just meant to deter officers from looking flashier than their superiors. It's an ego thing. So long as the materials are sufficiently resistant to fire and corrosion, no one will so much as bat an eye. That goes for me as well as my supplier ."

"Hmm..."

Garak put on a show of giving the reassurance a great deal of thought.

"Please?" - Bashir's voice dropped to a gentler tone.

One of life's greatest joys, Garak thought, was to push his dear friend into a position of pleading for something Garak had already intended on providing to him all along. First came Bashir's proposal. Then the reasoning. Then Garak would play at refusal, usually citing his busy schedule, and Bashir would dutifully take the role of the reasonable man, the scientist, presenting logic against Garak's reluctance. Without cooperation, finally logic would give way to begging, until he left Garak with no choice but to either paint himself the unreasonable villain or to reluctantly, mercifully concede.

And Bashir's face during the pleading was Garak's favorite part.

"I may be persuaded."

Just as quickly as he'd crossed them, Bashir uncrossed his arms and gave a critical squint toward Garak.

"You're not afraid of being reprimanded by starfleet, you just wanted to twist my arm into haggling with you!"

Being caught in the game made it no less fun. Besides - the doctor was smart, Garak reasoned, surely he caught on from time to time that he was being toyed with. Yet he still played along.

Garak turned to face him. "Nonsense, Doctor! What gives you the impression that I'm not simply being difficult for sport?"

The question apparently did not deserve to be dignified with an acknowledgement. "What's your price?"

Garak allowed him to stew for a moment.

"Only that you finish reading ‘In The Heart of The Devil’ ."

" ‘In The’ - what, the judicial romance novel? Garak-"

"If my culture so disgusts you, Doctor, I'm sure there are innumerable human tailors in this quadrant, in this sector even, who'd be more than willing to take your business."

"I'm not disgusted, Garak, I've read dozens of Cardassian works." Garak said nothing in return, only stared. Bashir held steady for a moment - then, sure enough, cracked and crumpled. A shame that it was over so quickly, Garak thought, he'd have to find some time to give the good doctor a lecture in fortitude. Apparently defeated, Bashir continued: "I, I found it boring. I fell asleep reading that dreadful book."

"But you hardly made it past the post-prologue!" He placed down the piece he'd been working on and threw his hands up in the air. Bashir scoffed at the display, but Garak only shook his head. "I don't see how you expect to enjoy it without even giving it a chance. It's really quite a cerebral story, especially once you've surmounted the second act."

"And if I read the whole book, then you'll make me the uniform?"

"Free of charge. In fact, you don't even have to read it first . Get started as soon as possible, and I'll have your garments ready by the end of the week. I trust you'll keep your word."

"Really?"

"Would you rather I took the offer back?"

"Well, no. It's just that you haven't exactly got a reputation for being..." - He turned his hand over in front of himself, searching for the right word, until Garak offered -

"Generous?"

" Trusting. "

"Ah, how disconcerting - maybe that counselor friend of yours is making more of an impression than I realized." Garak frowned. "But in any case, Doctor Bashir, I've found that a happy client makes for a happy businessman."

Until that point, Garak had been working on small tasks around the shop, but now stopped to get his equipment for working on Bashir.

"I'm not sure that ‘happy’ describes how I feel at the prospect of keeping up my end of this bargain." Despite what he was saying, the doctor smiled and appeared at ease.

"So, tell me - what are you looking for? A brighter hue, a tighter waist perhaps?"

Bashir blushed and looked down. "No, the color and the cut are fine, it's the material."

Garak deflated upon hearing this - he would have loved the chance to exhibit some artistic liberties with Bashir's fashion, but his frequent offers to pretty the doctor up were always either turned down or had drab and nullifying limitations placed upon them.

He reached out to catch the sleeve of Bashir's Starfleet jacket between two fingers and a thumb. He felt the material of the outer jacket, then slipped his fingers under the teal sleeve below. When his scaled knuckles brushed against Bashir's wrist, Garak found his human skin to be smooth and delightfully warm. "What's wrong with it?"

Bashir pulled his hand (and, by extension, his sleeve) away from Garak and held it close to himself, again turning it in a circular motion as he seemed to search for his words. I hope I haven't bothered him.

"Actually - I suppose the fit could use some work. This jacket is stifling." After a nod from Garak, he continued. "The material, it's... Too..." - Bashir squinted - " Catching . It clings to my skin, as if electrically charged."

This was not the impression Garak had gotten from the fabric. "And a different material would be preferable?"

Garak eyed the doctor carefully. Not with caution, or delicacy, or suspicion - just with the careful and attentive gaze one would lend to a curiosity, or to a friend when you're just getting to learn something new about them. He wasn't sure if Bashir would notice the change in demeanor, but then again, his perceptive nature had, at times, surprised Garak in the past.

If Bashir saw how Garak was looking at him, he wondered, then how would he interpret the look? Or the touch, for that matter? If their literary discussions were anything to go off of, his ability to accurately read meaning into implicit gestures was greatly impaired, by Cardassian standards, or at least unconventional.

Bashir nodded. "My old uniform was much better..."

The new uniform's rollout was fresh in Garak's mind. He was quick to ask Bashir (or, rather, his changeling doppelgänger) for an opportunity to take a closer look at its construction. Careful investigation revealed the previous blend of natural and synthetic fibers had been retired in favor of wholly synthetic material. Apparently, supply issues led Starfleet to reconsider how they clothed their officers, and mass-replicated textiles proved most practical. Despite all the millions of man-hours of research put into the subject since the replicator's inception, by chemists and agriculturalists and animal farmers and Garak's own tailor brethren, the structure of animal- and plant-based fibers had yet to be adequately recreated. Growing it the old-fashioned way was still the only option, and made it inconvenient for such large-scale operations as these.

Quieter this time, Bashir spoke again: "I miss my old uniform."

"The one you wore in the prison camp?"

He knew the answer, but asked anyway. There was a need to explicitly acknowledge that fact between the two of them, to establish the timeline.

"Yes." - quieter still.

"Why, that was two years ago, and I haven't had any of my other Starfleet customers come to me with complaints about the material."

"Well, I'm not your other Starfleet customers."

"No, your taste is much more discerning. " Garak smiled at Bashir, and he weakly smiled back.

"I suppose so."

"With the war going on, many of my suppliers have run dry, but - I may have the right material in my stores already..." Leaving his side, Garak turned, deeper into the shop, searching.

The dreary manner was gone from Bashir's voice as he spoke up from behind, usual affectation of self-assuredness (or self-centeredness) in its place. "You can ask, you know."

Garak turned around. "I'm afraid I have no idea what you're referring to, Doctor."

This wasn't entirely truthful: he could sense something was peculiar about Bashir's demeanor today, from the moment he'd walked in the shop. Initially, Garak had suspected it was to do with the fact that the shop was even open for business at all - meaning that he was taking on tailoring work again, something which Bashir would likely have opinions about - but as their chat moved along, he started to feel that this wasn't the case. Then his curiosity had been piqued by the ‘catching’ fabric comment, and he couldn't help but wonder if there was some sort of connection, a thread tying it all together.

Now, that thread had presented itself, and all Garak had to do was pull.

"It's unusual, and I figure you're curious about why I hate my uniform so much when no one else cares. So I'm telling you - you can ask me why." He put on a gentle smile, like the one he always used on his pediatric patients. "I won't be offended."

But it wasn't as fun when the thread was quite literally asking to be pulled. The investigation, the interrogation, was the real thrill of it. But once it laid itself out in this way there was no enjoyment left in even trying to make a game of it. He'd have to give Doctor Bashir yet another lecture about subtlety, as well.

Noting that his itinerary was filling up at an alarming rate, Garak gave in, and turned back to his selections of cloth. "Alright. Why?"

"I have autism."

By the delivery of it, it felt as though there was an expectation that Garak should know what that meant.

He knew enough at least to sense that a few seconds' pause - of ‘dawning understanding’ - was likely appropriate.

"Oh... I see."

"Until - until recently, I never wanted to... Acknowledge it. Finally telling people, talking about it," he sighed, "it feels good."

"And you didn't want to, because?"

"I suppose I thought I could power through it. And that it was something to be ashamed of."

"What's the prognosis, then, Doctor?"

A genuine question, but easy enough to pass off as a joke if needed. But the doctor just laughed and said, "Well, I'll always be autistic."

Grabbing a few bolts of cloth, blends similar to the constituents of the old uniform, Garak returned to Bashir and laid the materials on a table.

The initial impression he'd gotten was that this ‘autism’ was a disease, perhaps of the skin. Garak had had the rare client or two in the past who broke out in rashes when exposed to certain animal hairs. But then Bashir's use of ‘autistic’ - an adjective? Something significant enough to one's position in the world that it needed its own descriptor? - had thrown off the dermatological illness hypothesis. Unless it's terminal, he thought, slow-progressing enough that he feels it won't significantly impact his lifespan.

Or he could be dying as we speak, and doesn't have the heart to tell me.

But Garak brushed this thought aside - surely the doctor had more sense than to try ‘powering through’ a terminal illness. That couldn't be it.

A lesson Garak had resisted learning on Cardassia was the need to back down at times, and to admit to a conversational partner that he didn't follow what was going on. Vulnerability was a danger, betraying his lack of information carried severe consequences, and stubborn adherence to a persona of understanding had nearly always served him well. These schemas never posed a problem until well into his time on Deep Space Nine - his non-Cardassian acquaintances seemed to be constantly calling him out on his lies, and worse still was that some of them seemed hurt by the behavior. It was a hard habit to break, but Dax encouraged him to practice as much as possible.

A version of her voice urged him now to put that skill to the test.

"...I must admit, I'm unfamiliar with this human..." - ‘disease’? Was it a disease? It stung to be this honest - "...Concept."

"Oh." It seemed to take a moment for him to fully realize the meaning. "Oh! Of course you would be."

Glancing from his friend's eyes down to the selection of fabrics on the table before them, Garak waited. Bashir reached for the farthest one and stroked it.

"Autism is, um... People with autism have differences in brain function, so they - we - experience difficulties in cognition, language, executing social behaviors, and... Sensory processing. Hence, the uniform."

"Ah, a mental disorder, then."

"Yes. Well," he furrowed his brow deeply and frowned, vigorously fiddling a corner of fabric in one hand, a face of concentration but lacking that same focus in voice, "it's not that simple, I suppose. But in a sense, it could be considered... A mental disorder." He seemed to regain his senses and treated the cloth with more care. "...I like this one, for the interior."

Pulling a few feet from the roll, Garak held the fabric in front of Bashir's body. "The color isn't quite right. I'll have to source some in a bluer shade."

"I think that'll do quite nicely, Garak."

Garak beamed. For all the hassle he liked to give Bashir, it pleased Garak to please him.

"So, um - do you have any questions?"

"Will you take off your jacket, Doctor?"

"I meant, about-"

"I understood. I do have some things I'm curious about." Garak paused for a moment. "These ‘cognitive difficulties’ - is that why you were unable to finish ‘In The Heart of The Devil’ ?"

Bashir grinned as he pulled the zipper down. "I think there's a fair number of factors we can blame before we pin it on autism."

"Oh, such as?"

"It's not cognitively taxing. I told you, it's just boring! " As it always did when he raised his voice, it sounded like Bashir had never yelled before in his life and was holding back for fear of hurting himself. He handed over the black and gray jacket.

"How does that human expression go - ‘there's no accounting for taste’?"

"Explain to me, where does the ‘taste’ lie in a forty-page monologue detailing The Conservator's entire life history of staunchly abiding by the law?"

"You should know by now, the-" Garak began, but was interrupted.

"I know, I know, it would be irresponsible -"

" Unconscionable! "

"- to leave any shadow of a doubt that the main character is a pristine example of an obedient Cardassian citizen."

When he finished, the room went completely quiet. Even from the other side of the Promenade, cries of ‘Dabo!’ could be heard. After several seconds of perfectly orchestrated dramatic silence, Garak spoke again.

"Wait."

"What?"

"Before we get any further in this discussion, tell me -" He held out a hand and touched Bashir's upper arm, "just who do you believe to be the main character of the novel?"

"Now, what kind of a question is that?" Bashir jerked away slightly, but the expression on his face seemed more playful than truly bothered.

"Humor me, Doctor."

"The Conservator! Obviously!"

"Of course you would think that." Pulling his hand away, Garak located an autoripper and ran it along several of the jacket's seams. He'd make the appropriate adjustments on this one, and use it as a guide in assembling the new one from scratch.

"What do you mean by that? " The doctor scoffed.

"I mean no insult, Doctor - your intellect is clearly intact - but your worldview reeks unmistakably of the culture in which you've lived." It took all the resolve and strength of will in his being to not add ‘Or perhaps I should say the lack thereof.’

"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!"

Garak blinked. "The pot and the kettle?"

"Earth idiom, meaning ‘to point out a quality in another that the speaker also possesses’." He poked Garak squarely in the chest to drive home his point. " Hypocrisy ."

Huffing, Garak continued. "Obviously, one must be inevitably shaped by his environment, no matter who he is. But the difference between you and I, Doctor, is one of choosing to expand one's horizons once he has been shaped. I find you Federation types are all too pleased to let your horizons stay just where they've always been." He handed the garment back over to be tried on. "Ironic, for a group that so prides itself in its quest for diversity ."

"You know, Garak, you always make such a point of, of positioning Cardassia as an other to the Federation, to draw upon our differences," Bashir paused until Garak hummed acknowledgement, with pins now held between his lips. "As unlikely as it is, I can't help but imagine what you'd do if Cardassia ever were to join the Federation. Half of our lunchtime debates would fall flat then and there."

Garak lifted a hand to his mouth to remove the sewing notions. "I shudder at the thought! You shouldn't even joke about the idea - for all you know, I might even lose my concentration enough that I could stab you with one of these pins!"

At this, Bashir laughed a little - a nervous and stuttered little noise, as if he wasn't sure whether to take the threat seriously - and squirmed under Garak's touch.

"...Why, accidentally , of course. Stop moving." Garak grabbed his friend by the shoulders, steadying him, then looked up to meet his eyes and smiled his best non-threatening plain and simple smile.

At this gesture, Bashir relaxed - marginally, but relaxed nonetheless. The ease with which the doctor would let his guard down, the minimal display of friendliness that it took, had always fascinated Garak. Such a demeanor would have made for a terrible operative in the Order. But, Garak supposed this unrelenting pleasantness was one of the factors that had most intrigued him and drawn him in to Bashir's acquaintance after the thrill of meeting wore off.

I still wonder if those holosuite programs of his are rigged.

"So if I'm wrong, about the main character," - He paused while Garak made an adjustment - "then why don't you enlighten me?"

"I don't recall telling you that you were wrong." Bashir opened his mouth, presumably to object, but Garak continued, "You really must hold still right now. Besides - the narrative's unraveling is its charm, I'd hate to spoil the story and rob you of the chance to experience it for yourself."

"Certainly." He held in a deep breath and spoke quietly, trying not to move as much as he could help it, but the sarcasm came through in his tone regardless.

For a while, Garak worked in pleasant silence, adding and removing pins around Bashir until the jacket fit just right - or, as close as he could get it, considering the material. In addition to rebuilding the inner components of the uniform from scratch with an analog of the old uniform’s material, he wanted to rebuild the jacket in a looser fit as well. For that, he had a particular fabric in mind, more breathable than its current construction but thicker and sturdier still than the inner material.

Eventually, Garak broke the silence.

"You say you have this ‘autism’. What is the social standing for humans with this disorder?"

"Well... That's sort of hard to say. Today, on Earth, autistic people are granted the same rights under the law as anyone else. I'm not big on history, but it used to be quite terrible, from what I've heard, in the pre-contact times... Now, in practice, it all depends on how well each individual is able to blend in or to make themselves useful. Some of our greatest scholars and artists have been on the spectrum." - Garak inferred that this phrase related in some way to autism, but made a mental note to ask about it later regardless - "But if you can't act normal and can't contribute, you won't get far."

Garak processed this for a moment.

"On Cardassia,” he began, “children with mental disorders are seen as a burden to the family. If an embryo is found to be defective, it's generally destroyed before viability. Those who are born tend to live out their lives in institutions."

"That's horrible." Bashir’s expression was a mix of sadness and disgust.

"Hm. We should both be grateful you weren't born on my homeworld, or the two of us would never have had a chance to be acquainted." Garak felt he was out of his element here - comfort had never really been in the repertoire of interactions modeled for him. "...For as much as my opinion is worth, you seem very ‘normal’ to me, Doctor."

Bashir stiffened a bit -

"That's because I've had my whole life to practice the act. And it comes at a price."

- And he didn’t seem at all pleased as he said it.

Garak wondered if he’d said or done the wrong thing. He didn’t understand why it would be the wrong thing - being normal was good - but he didn’t see any other apparent explanation for Bashir’s response.

"What is that price?"

" You've paid the price, Garak. Think of how cold it is here, and the havoc that that chronic stress wreaks on your body. Think of having to put on a face for your customers. Or having to pretend -" He searched for his words, "pretend to be an entirely different person than you are, never dropping the façade."

It’s no easy feat, but that’s simply the way life is, the way it has to be.

That’s what he’d been taught, at least.

You just have to suck it up.

Garak thought of his talks with Dax, though, and what she had said about the so-called flaws in his traditional Cardassian upbringing, and how he’d supposedly been ‘traumatized’ by it. She still didn’t have him fully convinced, but in the interest of respecting other cultures he felt it would be prudent to humor her here and not give voice to these critical thoughts.

"It seems it's been... Hard for you."

Bashir scoffed. "You don't know the half of it."

"Surely there are ways of treating the condition at its source."

"Oh, they tried. That's what the genetic enhancements were for."

"But they didn't work."

"Well, the treatments certainly changed me, there's no denying that. Before, I couldn't even pretend to be normal. Couldn't follow most conversations. It rid me of some of my difficulties. Gave me some new ones, as well. But as I said, I'll always be autistic. At the core, it's not something that can be... Extracted. It's just who I am."

"I see.” He wasn’t sure he truly did, but he was trying to. Plus, it seemed what his friend needed right now was to feel understood. “And those genetic enhancements - that is the only treatment option?"

"More or less. If you can even call it a ‘treatment’. Of course, there's also the option to just try to bully and torture the disability away. My father gave me a plentiful taste of that .” As if sensing that Garak was going to say something on the choice of words - he wasn’t - Bashir continued, “I mean - what, what he did wasn't quite tantamount to torture, on a physical level, but... I've heard stories."

The work on the uniform had been paused and forgotten by now.

"The method I believe you're describing is seen as the golden standard for those Cardassian children who are well enough to avoid institutionalization but who don't quite conform to societal expectations."

"Somehow I doubt the Cardassian parents who employ it would recognize it as bullying." Bashir’s voice turned from that aggrieved and hurt tone to something a little softer, sweeter - bordering on sympathetic in a way that made Garak’s scales crawl.

"What we would call a stern hand has often been labeled ‘abusive’ by outsiders."

Meant to be a deflection, Garak’s statement seemed to have the opposite effect. The doctor’s sympathy now appeared as full-blown compassion across his face, and Garak found himself wishing desperately that he hadn’t turned the conversation in this direction at all.

He worried for a moment that Dax had forgotten her vow of confidentiality as a counselor, that she’d spaced out like she always did and let slip Garak’s tales of childhood woe, that Bashir’s unsolicited care here stemmed from pitying Garak in the knowledge of what Tain used to do to him.

But, he reminded himself, Tain likely already appeared as a less-than-ideal father in Bashir’s eyes - even aside from the issue of the closet. That was probably the reason for the sympathy, and that was a somewhat more tolerable explanation.

Still, it made him uneasy. He decided to change the subject.

"There's another thing I don't understand, Doctor."

He felt that he was treading on unsteady ground here, perhaps throwing knives at the vole’s nest, but he wanted to fully understand the issue, and as it was he barely understood.

He could also tell that Bashir had some mixed and unspoken feelings on the matter, and may need a well-placed push in order to work through them. He took in a breath and continued.

"You struggle due to your autism." Bashir nodded in acknowledgement. "And your suffering is compounded as well by your efforts to deny your autism." He paused again - now Bashir did not nod - and he continued, "Your parents - your father - made the decision to have you altered, in an attempt to fix you - arguably, a decision made with your well-being in mind."

Bashir shifted uncomfortably where he stood. He didn’t meet Garak’s eyes. Garak continued:

"Had it gone as they'd wished, you'd be free of this affliction. Yet you resent your parents for what they did. Why?"

"Well, they haven't ever given me a good reason not to resent them! What kind of a thing to say is that? What kind of a question is that?" Bashir had been so quiet before, seemed so perturbed, that when he spoke now Garak startled. Preparing to explain his rationale, Garak opened his mouth to speak, but Bashir interrupted him. "No - I know this is new to you, I don't fault you for that. And that's hardly the first time I've heard the sentiment."

It was a small comfort, at least, to know their relationship’s standing had not been injured. Bashir’s voice rose - again, with that quality of trepidation - as he carried on.

"It's because it was my life and body and future, and they made the choice for me without any regard for what I wanted. And- and I know it's different, on... On Cardassia... But on Earth there are these expectations for how a child is to be treated - with respect, as if they were an adult, and with patience, gentleness, care, and love, because, because they are a child. "

He stopped only long enough to take a breath.

"There was no respect in that decision, no respect at all for my autonomy, my capacity to think or to have my own desires... Even if it was in a different capacity than other children. No patience to see what kind of person I could have become... They said it was because they loved me, and I'm sure they think they do - Oh, I bet it really feels like love, to them at least - but it's not a love that I recognize. And..."

After this trailing off, Garak stood there, and waited. The pause stretched on, Bashir’s face turned away to look at something on the other side of the shop, until Garak began to wonder if he’d even had anything more to say at all, or if maybe he’d simply forgotten to keep talking.

When he did pick up again, the sound of it was low and sorrowful.

"...It's not a bad thing. To be autistic. To have a child who is. I thought it was, for so long, because of all this. You know, you hear about it," - at this, Garak thought to himself, he didn’t hear about it, but he understood the meaning behind it - "you hear someone's just found out their little girl has autism, and you're supposed to feel sorry for them, pity them, grieve everything she's holding her family back from doing. And her subjective experience? Even if she's a healthy and happy and joyful child, it doesn't matter. It's ‘tragic’, only I don't think it really is."

Bashir sighed. "I've friends who are autistic, too, except they're not all augments like me. And I don't think anything - not a single thing - is wrong with them. As, as people, that is, of course there are sleep disturbances and digestive disorders, and - but, as people , they've as much a right to exist as anyone.” He raised his voice again as he said this. Despite feeling like a stranger to the nature of the conversation, Garak couldn’t help but admire Bashir’s passion. “ We have a right to exist. I do, and I don't have to pretend I've risen ‘above’ autism somehow to acknowledge that, I think. And I damn well don't have to be thankful to the people who tried to make me into something I'm not."

He turned back to face Garak again, seeming to have finally lost his steam. "I don't know... I'm sorry for blowing up on you like that, Garak."

"If that's the worst you have in store for me when ‘blowing up’, I should consider myself lucky." He delivered this with an easy smile, but then felt perhaps it wasn’t appropriate. I don’t know what else to say . Garak cleared his throat. "...Evidently, this is something which you feel strongly about."

After a moment, Bashir nodded. "It is. It's confusing, too - because I still don't feel good about it. I know that it's right. That being like this is just another way to exist, and that it's not a lesser way of being. But I suppose the damage's been done and I can't seem to internalize it for myself. I treat patients who are autistic. I told you, I have friends who are. They're proud of it. And at the same time, they're people who are whole and complex. When I think about - about Doctor Julian Bashir, Chief Medical Officer... I don't know. It's different. I can't imagine being taken seriously."

Garak wrapped his fingers loosely around Bashir’s wrist, hoping the reassurance in the action came through. "I won't claim to entirely understand the position you're in. You are... Aware of the differences in our cultures."

People who were disabled, and people who otherwise failed or refused to conform, didn’t exist in the public eye in Cardassian culture. Those who were in any way different had to make a choice between hiding it (and hiding it well) or living on the fringes. Anything less would place too much power in the mind of the citizen - power that came at the expense of the state.

They both knew this, though. To point it out anyway, though intended to illustrate his point, could be construed as rubbing it in.

It made him uneasy to show sentiment and vulnerability, just as it had stung to be honest, but there was no one else in the galaxy that Garak would rather be so sentimental toward. He continued.

"Should anyone judge you for a congenital difference, let them judge. Your merit as a doctor and as a friend will more than prove that judgment to be a reflection of their own character rather than yours."

"...You really mean that, Garak?"

He nodded - using such explicitly caring vocal language would have been too much in that moment. Being this open was beginning to wear him down, and the line had to be drawn somewhere. He let Bashir’s wrist fall from his grip, and gestured to take the jacket in his hands. "... Are you familiar with the Vulcan philosophy of ‘Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations’?"

"Passably familiar." Bashir smiled. "It hadn't occurred to me to apply that philosophy here."

"Some Vulcan you are."

Bashir’s optimistic little smile turned to a grin, and he chuckled boisterously, wrestling the jacket off without dislodging any of its pins. "Thank you."

"What did I say about happy clients?"

"Still, you didn't have to... Do this. It means a lot."

It was true. He wouldn’t do this - act this way, be so willing to talk and to truly listen, be so friendly - with any other client.

"Hm." He smiled. "Now, tell me, my dear Doctor - what has brought this all up all of a sudden?"

"I'm glad you asked. Recently, I received a subspace message from a friend of mine serving on the Enterprise, Commander Data -"

"The android?"

With palpable enthusiasm, Bashir nodded and continued.

Garak had a feeling the conversation would prove to be very interesting yet.

------

------

end notes:

1) julian’s feelings here are largely reflective of my own point of view regarding autism back when i was a teen. i knew it was something normal and value-neutral that i had to accept about myself, but at the same time i felt fine calling it a disorder/illness and i heard sentiments from others that made me feel ashamed of it, so my feelings were very complicated. having since made more autistic friends and engaged more with online disabled (+ disability activist) communities as a whole, i have a much healthier happier viewpoint/understanding of my autism now. hopefully julian can obtain that as well.

2) mega thanks to my handsome genius wife for giving me the idea “julian goes to garak for help getting some sensory-friendly clothes for his autism”. accordingly, i wanna dedicate this story to my beloved schizospectrum brethren. no one has made me feel as understood, as worthwhile, or as human in my autism as they have.

3) i actually wrote up several paragraphs about ‘in the heart of the devil’ detailing its premise, because at first i thought it would be a lot more involved in this story - here’s that, if you wish to see.

[novannna]

Okay, so I’ve been noticing some things on tumblr, and thats the amount of recognitions writers get.  I’m very aware that most content creators get little recognition, but I’m focusing on writers, because I feel like they are on the bottom of the figurative food chain.

I spend a lot of my time writing.  Why?  Well, I do it for me.  I genuinely enjoy writing.  It’s something I find fun, relaxing, and a good way to distract myself when I feel bad.  I also don’t really care about the amount of reblogs/likes I get, because I’m not writing for tumblr, I’m writing for myself.  

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me.  

I love getting recognition for my work.  The reason I post is because I know I’m sharing my writing, and I know that people I don’t know are reading it.  Hopefully they are enjoying it too.  

But when I get only 5 notes on a story, that makes me think “oh no, they hate it”.  Its really disheartening to check your notifs after posting a story, and seeing nothing.  My mind gets stuck in a loop of “why am I doing this, I’m a bad writer, everyone hates it, I should just stop”  And I know that it isnt true, but there isn’t much happening to change it.  I honestly dont care about the notes, but what I do care aboout is whether or not people liked it.  And I don’t think people do when my fics are getting less than 10 notes.  

Another thing- LIKES DONT DO SHIT!!!!!

Please, reblog.  I’m not saying not to like it, but liking a post doesn’t spread it.  My goal is for as many people as possible to read my fics.  But, if no one reblogs, then it will be stuck in my own group of followers.  I totally understand if you don’t have time to read it,or its just Too Much at the time- believe me, I’ve been there.  But still, you can reblog!!!!  Tag it to read later, or something like that.  you dont have to read it even.  I love getting my shit out to AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE.  Even if you don’t think you would like it, maybe a follower would.  it doesnt take that long, and it makes a huge difference to me and other content creators.  Everytime i see a reblog, i fucking grin like im insane. I just think about how many people will be able to see it, how many more people will get to read my writing.  There’s always the queue function if you feel like you’ve been spamming too.  Seriously.  You have no idea how much it means, especially to smaller blogs like mine.  This also applies to kudos on ao3.  they really make writers feel good!!!

Also- please fucking comment.  It’s definetly not mandatory.  I get it if you’re having a bad day, and you just cant comment.  I get that.  But, if you can, please do.  You dont have to give me some detailed analysis or anything.  Even a keysmash makes us SO FUCKING HAPPY.  Everytime I see a comment, i grin because I know that someone genuinely enjoyed my fic.  I know they aren’t just rebloggig out of pity or anything.  When i feel sad, or like i should stop writing, i go back and look through all my fics comments.  It helps so much.  believe me, even if its in the tags, i read it.  Every single word, i fucking treasure.  It means so much to me.   Obviously, there is no pressuer, but if you have the time, please do.  Anything is apreciated so much.  

Anyways, thats all, please rb shit, please comment, please spread our creations, I know it seems like a small, meaningless thing, but you are making a HUGE difference.  This applies to all creative content, but I focused on writing because I primarily write, and writers get the least amount of recognition.  

please feel free to add on, but please if you feel otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself, i dont have enough energy or braincells left to argue <3

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Interview With Mr Wayne

Masterlist

You visit Bruce after inning your court case to celebrate but Bruce hashad a bad day and decides tocheer imself up with a little roleplay~

Warnings: Adult Situations 18+,Smut ,Teasing ,Fingering, Sir Kink?, Panty Kink?, Desk sex, Swearing!, Overstimulating

A/N: This has been sitting on my tablet for about eight nine weeks maybe more? Finally finished it. Just been so side tracked with my other stories. But here is some Bruce Wayne smut..I hope you like it xx

Taglist: @125bluemachine125​ @iloveyouyen​ @thefangirlsblog​ @itismineru​ @tinabean37​

You quickly ran through the lobby of the tower barely remembring to swipe your card against the reader, a new addition that Bruce had installed since nearly getting caught with you in the public elevator now you had a private elevator that lead you to the left of his office in a small concealed hall next to the toilet just behind Mary's desk and it needed a card to access it wasnt much but it was something, its not like you were ever going to convince Bruce to not have sex at work...It was like asking the man to stop being a smug little shit or like asking Tim to cut out caffeine it just wasn't going to happen. You came to a stop trying to bite back a squeal, you was happy so happy, your old boss had decided to settle out of court once all the evidence was put out for her to see some of which was going to be on her record for a long time. Tom had quit once he heard about what had happened and she had gone bust and couldn't afford to go to court already processing for bankruptcy. Tom is trying to buy it from her and was going through getting a loan from the bank. Bruce had said if they didn't aprove he would give Tom the money outright just to 'piss off that bitch'. You on the other hand didn't care about that instead you was pleased with the fact that you hadn't hid behind Bruce,you had done it alone... You had won by yourself well with the help of two of Bruce's lawyers..He wanted you to use them all but eight seemed a bit over the top,  either way you kept Bruce out of it. You wanted to prove that you could stand on your own two feet in some respects. Your aim was to make an example of her, to show that you are a force to be reckoned with in your own right and that just because you have been quiet up until now does not mean you'll let everyone walk over you, not anymore. You smiled in the elevator mirror pulling at your blazer shimmying your bra as the bones dug in to your ribs making you wince you'd gone dressed in a two piece pinstripe suit, smart high waisted straight cut pants the blazer had two rows of buttons giving what you called the 'old mafia' vibe and a dark plum almost black shirt stolen from Bruce's closet for...Reasons.  Your high heels echoed on the marble floor as you exited the elevator rounding the corner seeing Mary sitting there balancing a pen below her nose on her lip you giggled.  "Working had or hardily working?" She jumped dropping the pen on the desk turning to look at you and wolf whistled. "Well if I didn't know for definite that you were bobbing my bosses knob I'd try to peel that suit of you and have a taste myself you look delicious!" You rolled your eyes used to the womans not so subtle flirting. "If I ever get curious I will give you a call" she giggled at your monotone reply licking her lips "Promises promise's~" you huffed at her shaking your head then nodded to the full board room Bruce sitting at the head of the table looking just about done with their shit. His shoulders were tense and squared as one little man raised his voice across at him. You licked your lips taking your bottom one into your mouth biting it as Bruce held his gaze steady and smiled making the other one sit his scrawny as back down.  Fuck yes, you loved boss Bruce, and Batman Bruce and Alpha Bruce fuck any Bruce...But Boss Bruce got you going like nothing else, you almost whined seeing him work, a stern gaze across the table daring them to challenge him further. Oh god you just wanted to walk in and fuck him there and then, let the others see him fuck the life out of you. You sucked on your bottom lip again trying to fight back a pitiful whine. So public sex may have become a kink since your little holiday...You'd both been caught fucking on the beach by one of the staff Bruce hired to take care of the house and when he hadn't stopped just kept rutting into you faster knowing they were stealing glances, the way his voice dropped teasing you about having an audience how he wanted you to give them a show. Ugh. It had made you cum so hard you passed out for a few seconds and when you woke he was still at it albeit slower and biting off chuckles away as you flushing so fast you became dizzy below him. "You need a drink your looking thirsty there" you snapped yourself out of your thoughts and glared playfully at the woman as she got up walking to the small corridor you'd came from, not only did it hide the new elevator and toilet but also a small kitchenette. You sighed following her taking one last glance as Bruce pointed sterny at a few of the men you could only imagine how deep his voice had gotten you shivered. "Come on before you leave a puddle! They have only just polished this shit...And I don't feel like trying to find a 'caution wet floor' sign" you groaned at her. She hopped up on to the counter waiting for the kettle to boil. You moved to lean against it placeing down Your bag and the folder holdjng your settlement details you'd brought with you to show Bruce. "Sooo where did you go off to back there? It looked...fun" you smiled at her blushing. "Just thinking of our holiday was all...We experimented, seeing him in there just reminded me" she moved adding sugar to two cups snorting at you before nudging you playfully. "Oo kinky tell me more~"  "I dont kiss and tell Im afraid...Not sober anyway" she snorted at that then waved a hand at you. "Kiss and tell? psh like all you did was kiss...So no details?, not one tiny little ounce of Juicey gossip? come ooonnn!" you shook your head at her with a grin and she pouted "Oh boo! your just like him no fun at all! , I tried getting details out of Bruce and he just went red and shy...SHY! I didn't know he could do shy... So what ever you did Mama me next? please and thank you" you flushed at her laughing her off as she handed you your tea wrigglingnher eyesbrows. You both sat in comfortable silence for a few moments sippingnyour drinks. "Soo? Did you top him?" You choked spitting your tea back into the cup coughing and then turned to her gaping like a fish. "Where did?-did he tell you?" Her face lit up and she giggled around a whispered 'HO-LY SHIT!' "Oh my fuck you did! Get it girl! You teach that big boss man! You make him eat the peach?" You blushed and stam,ered tryjng to find the words to get out of this one. "Oh fuck shit look seriously dont tell anyone he'd never forgive me if that got out!" "Oh honey no! I'd never!...But no he didn't tell me I guessed, you know he did go shy so...Must have been somthing new...But kudos to giving him a taste of girl power..Enjoy yourself atleast" "Oh...well yes I was surprised I managed to pull it off..I mean Bruce is big and strong and I wasn't exactly sure the cuffs would hold when he realised what I did he got smug teasing me...Then mad when he realized I wasnt fucking around-" she squealed and bounced on the spot "Shit!? You just sprung cuffs on him?! wow Mama you got a set of balls!...Bet you paid for it" you chuckled sipping your tea. "Well.. He got his pay back...The man has more stamina then I give him credit for..." she snorted nodding shaking her head dropping to conversation seeing you were uncomfortable. You shifted before speaking up again. "So how long has he been in there for?" She peered around the side into the hall that had a veiw of the clock. "Bout three hours...They are opening a new office in central city which Bruce is fine with, it will make a few things easier...But the board want to place one of their sons as the branch manager, Bruce said no. This kid has only been here for two years and hasn't got a single promotion or anything! He isn't really any good at his job ,he only got the job by pulling strings. Bruce wants to promote someone who deserves it not hand it over to some fucking daddies boy...But true to form this guy started going ahead anyway, telling the others that Bruce agreed apparently, daddy promised this little shit the job...This tit doesn't know it yet but Bruce is about to fire him his son and two other board members for this little drama." You frowned at her "He can do that? I thought only the share holders or some shit could sack someone that high up?" She gave you a look and blinked slowly. "Honey your man is the main shareholder...He owns like ninety percent of the company....Thats why his name is on the building...On that note lets head back I wanna see this...You probably will to just remember no puddles~" you moved to swipe at her playfully as she scampered away down the hall laughing you followed snatching up your folder holding the documents of your settlement in your hands.

You turned the corner you heard raised voices and saw Bruce sitting leaning back arms crossed his head was tilted and he looked pleased with himself as the three older men and one young sprog was stangding before him each in various emotional states.  The oldest one was shouting at Bruce with animated hand gestures towards himself and the young man; you assumed he was the father and son. The young man was more panicked then anything you could see from here he didnt want to be there, he wanted his father to shut up and to leave.  You turned your attention  to the other two middle aged men around Bruce's own age both had seemed to accept what ever had just happened. Bruce moved forward sitting staight then pointed to them saying something else making everyone in the room flinch then he leaned back holding his hands out at his sides then nodded to the door. You froze as Bruce saw you and smiled at you for a second, your view was interrupted as the now unemployed men tried storming past the desk. "Err excuse me gentlemen? I'm afraid you will need to hand in your company id's and passes..." the eldest swore and clambered over to the desk, you moved to the side with your tea and sipped it slowly. Letting the irate man pull his wallet from his pocket tearing the cards out and slammed them down then he turned to his son who handed in his id sheepishly then they both left quickly with one last snarl to Bruce through the glass. You released a breath when all four men were in the elevator and out of sight. "I always hated that man, rude and pig headed...He is elitist...Which is pretty ironic when you realise he was raised by working class parents." You snorted at her then turned to the board room as Bruce said something that looked like a threat well if the reactions were anything to go by. Then he dismissed the remaining men with a wave of his hand. Before any of them were out he had already signaled you to enter the room. You moved picking up your cup and folder then circled Mary's desk. "Ooo the board room today? I shall put the cleaners on sandby" You flipped her the bird as she laughed out loud "Fuck you Mary" you called over your shoulder walking towards the door. "If only you would my love~" you giggled  at her shaking your head. You bit your lip watching as the men leaving the room all but jumped out of your way, not wanting to risk any contact with you especially when Bruce was watching them like a hawk....And in what they precived as a bad mood. The last man held the door open for you as you entered you nodded to him. "Thank you" he stuttered flushing as you smiled  "Y-your welcome" he quickly left the room almost tripping over his feet as Bruce's gaze scalded his back.

You walked forward towards him as he spun his chair to face you a devious smirk on his face man spreading with his hands resting just above his crotch. "Well what do we have here?..Heels? Pantsuit? And no doubt that folder's holding the little ladies resumé..." you squinted at him playfully and recived a wink in return. So thats how he wants to play it today?. You smiled you'd play along. You moved standing taller. Prouder.  "Of course Mr Wayne...Would you like a peek?" Your words rolled off the tongue in a sultry voice full of promise. He moved holding out a hand for you to place the folder in it. "Only if your offering Mrs?" "Miss Cooke with an E and if I wasn't offering I wouldn't be here I assure you" he chuckled a deep smug sound that made your knees quiver slighltly as you played along with him. He hummed flicking open the folder scanning the documents. Your heart sped up as his smirk got wider and wider untill he was grinning like a cheshire cat. "Very impressive...Your Boyfriend must be proud of you  for such an acomplishment" you giggled taking a step closer to him. "I'd like to think so Mr Wayne" you grinned yourself as you saw him stiffen at you calling him his title. He quickly flipped the folder closed and let hit fall onto the huge table with a slap. "I would say most definetly...I wonder what he would think? you being here at my disposal?" you sucked through your teeth. "Well he is a man in uniform, bit of a brute at times but there are ways to placate him, I'm sure I can persuade him ~ if I think the reward is great enough" he chuckled shaking his head and gave a lopsided grin before speaking in a gravley tone low and tempting. "Oh I assures you miss Cooke it will be worth it~" you moved forward leaning on the table infront of him hands gripping the sides and leaned down bending at the waist holding his gaze before trailing down to his crotch then back up smirking. "Ha! come now Mr Wayne...There are certain things we both know money can't buy~" he moved forward to capture your lips but you dodged him swiftly. He growled and leaned back taking a quick glance to the door seeing Mary had gone...The elevator light red signaling noone was going to reach this floor until he reactivated it, a very good investment if he did say so himself!.  He turned to you smirking knowing just how this will play out. He moved a hand capruting your bottom lip with his thumb you licked at him making him humm, then you pulled it into your mouth watching him closely as you wrapped your tongue around him lapping and massaging it he smirked and pressed down lightly making you moan and suck harshly. "..So a sharp tongue...Not to sharp, you mouth will come in handy" you hummed a a small giggle around his digit and bit lightly running your teeth over him as he withdrew you winked at him playfully smaking your lips at him. He rolled his eye before snapping back into 'boss mode' crossing his arms over his chest leaning into the plush leather chair rolling it back a foot or so, taking his time to drink in the sight of you. Leaning back on the table he was about to make a mess of~ the pant suit definitely accentuated your curves the top button of the jacket fighting to contain your breasts he knew were being held high by a balcony bra just below...  He grunted raising in his seat trying to catch a peek of the deep cleavage the bra produced but nope...Nothing the shirt you wore was large and fit snugly but sadly there were none of the dreaded button gaps for him you use as his own private little peep show. "I can see you have the skills for the most part...However there are some...Personal aspects to the position I can't have just anybody as my assistant, they have to have a drive...A willingness  to do anything it takes to get the job done...Tell me Miss Cooke could you see yourself going the distance....The whole nine yards so to speak?" You snorted at him and tried swollowing a chuckle...You tired to hold it in but you couldn't. He smiled dropping his roleplay for a second shaking his head at you but quickly you found your composure and stood straight. "I think nine is pushing it~" he frowned at you playfully and crooked a finger with a sly look.  "Oh really what ever happened to 'oh Bruce its in my tummy~'" you gasped horrified as he tried mimicking a high moan...You have never said that!....Well you don't think you had to be honest when your fucking him you never really know what's coming out of your mouth... "YOU?! I have never said that....Have I?" He through his head back laughing loud echoing through the large empty space. "No but you've thought it~ I can tell...Either way my sweet little woman why don't we see if its possible~ see if you can back up those words" you shook your head blushing it was completely possible youd screamed that out at him. And the idea you could have shamed and aroused you. "...I'm sure I could handle anything your dishing out Mr Wayne." He groaned moving his hands away from his stomach reajusting himself tugging his belt. You flushed when his hand rose quickly pulling your shirt from your pants he chuckled seeing how far it fell... It was definitely one of his, that would be why there was no tugging on the buttons you smiled shyly. "Your Boyfriends?" And just like that the game was back on track. You moved twiddling the lower buttons of the shirt a little embarassed about stealing it this morning. "W-well Mr Wayne today was a big day...Its intimidating coming here, standing on my own two feet...His scent calms me down I feel safe" he smiled softly before slowly popping the buttons on the suit jacket  pulling it off and letting it fall to the floor behind you he burst out laughing as the sleeves of his shirt fell down a good few inches over your hands as the jacket wasnt holding them up and longer. "Hey! Don't laugh at me!" He moved forward kissing you softly. "Sorry sweets...You just look so cute!" You pouted as he ran his hands across you slowly pulling the shirt up snaking a hand the the side zipper of the trousers and with a quick flick of his wrist the heavy fabric fell to the floor with a soft thump.

He moved back taking a moment to admire you standing in just his shirt and underwear before him. It looked like a dress how you smoothly tucked it in, he didnt have a clue he groand and bit his lip then moved. He rolled the chair back towards you and pressed you to sit on the table. You half expected him to slip his hands under your ass and drag down your panties but he didn't. He pushed both feet to rest on the egde of the table forcing you to lean back and catch yourself on your hands. "Bruce?" His eyes flicked up to your uncertain gaze he just grinned wickedly and winked at you. "Hold still Miss Cooke~" and with that he moved his hands from the bottom of your legs, running his fingertips along your calfs making you shiver as he formed goosebumps on the skin, your breath hitched when he continued dragging them along your soft thighs down towards your center. Your pussy clenched and you moaned softly almost trying to rock towards him but you held back not moving you didnt' was to fall off the table. You flushed heart racing and your pussy wept onto the cotton making you whine knowing it wouldn't be long befor he noticed. Bruce chuckled at your little whines and soft pants as he bypassed your center and cupped the top of your thighs moving to your hips rubbing slow warm circles before retracing his movements coming back to the soft pudgy thighs then up. He moved again skipping your hot wanting center and began undoing the buttons of his shirt that was draped over you stoping just under your bust and flicking it behinde you pulling it from under your ass roughly causing you to squeak as your heated skin hit the cool pollished wood. He chuckled and moved his hand cupping your throbbing center teasing the wet hole with a firm rub of his fingers squeazing you and circling the damp patch on your undies prodding shallow teasing thrusts. You through your head back and moaned as his hand continued rolling and rubbing the flexing muscles, it was incredible each and every time this man touched you but there something about him groping you through the layers of your clothes...Something taboo about being made to mess your underwear ,drenching them through.  He moved flexing his strong hand squeezing your cunt. In a delicious possessive fashion. You grunted and rocked towards him the friction of your panties rubbing your clit, the warmth of his hand adding to the sensations. Your body was hot already the anticipation of things to come making you pants and breaths hitch his flicking and playing with your growing arousal smearing the small flood with his fingers dragging it across the gusset of your panties in deliberate strokes. "Ive never made you mess your panties before~ would you like that? For me to make you cum? Make you soak them through?" You bit your lip closing your eyes and gyrated your hips against him trying to chase an orgasm that was building far to slowly for your liking. You nodded clenching your fists into his shirt whining as the very first trembles began and you began hearing the your wetness againt his hand on the thin material. "Oh? You like that idea baby? For me to force you to cum? Force you to gush inside these cute little panties all over the table? The table where all the important meetings are held? Let your cum stain the wood right here? Right were I sit and work?" You nodded quickly gasping as his hot palm pulled back, you didn't have a chance to whine as he lifted it and gave a cupped plam slap to your whole wet center. The sharp slap made you jump rocking into him with a gruntal moan. He chuckled again then slapped quicker making you tremble. "FUCK! BRU-bruce! AH SH-IT PLEASE-please fuck please  more~" he chuckled moving his other hand around your throat and squeezed just enough to make your breathes deeper. And slapped your pussy harder making it sting. You cried out nevertheless in lewd moans curling forward each slap left a sting that added to the warm hum of you nerves, insides protesting to being empty as they coiled and tensed. There was a knot deep inside that was pulled tighter and tighter with each movement he made mastering your insides without even touching them. A skill you hadn't truly accepted until now as he toyed with you. "Now now~ is that anyway to call out for your new boss, you should ask nicely.?.Be polite" you shook your head as he slapped again this time keeping it there and rubbed harsher and faster then before concentrating on your erect bud that pressed on the cotton. You bucked one foot slipping but bruce was quick leaning a knee on the table taking the weight of the foot keeping you open and still with a chuckle. He watched as tears began falling from your eyes...You were close so close he could tell. He tipped his hand rubbing the heel of his palm to your clit rubbing violently curling his fingers digging them over your hole pressing harder on the sensitive petals just below. "FuckFUCFUCK NOOO-I'M SORRY SIR! PLEASE MR WAYNE UGHAH AH oh-oh shit plea-please Mr Wayne please sir!" He smiled pressing his hand flat then began patting you quickly making you moan loudly. You closed your eyes pushing your hips towards him crying out as he sped up. Each well placed pat sent tremors up and down your spine you withered, legs tensing and untensing as you tried tochase the high. Your pussy grew warmer and yout breathes sharp. The tell tale signs of an impending orgasm that had crept up on you. "AH-FUCK PLE-PLEASE SIR PLEASE-MR WAYNE UGH-FUUUUGH SHIT PLEASE PLEASE MR WAYNE PLEEAASE!" He smirked and moved faster alternating his rubs and flicks with varying slaps and pinched your body tensed and arched painfully as you crieds out as he drove you higher and higher. "Thats it baby~.....Fuck you look so gorgeous, fucking incredible...Cum! I want you to cum inside those little panties all over my desk baby....Thats it all over Mr Waynes spot~ Good girl!" You choked out moans and grunts your body was shivering and your lust boiled in your tummy and finally with one final harsh wet slap you came loudly throwing yourself back at the force. Bruce barely captured you to soften your fall gently placing you to lie back on the desk ass only just on it. You cried out gyrating against Bruces still patting hand closing your eyes as your body let go falling over the edge of ecstasy. Your mind was blank...Black and there was nothing but the hot wave the full body rush that completely wiped you out leaving you very messy and satisfied.

You laid there panting looking to the ceiling with blurry eyes,you were crying softly and you was sure why. You felt the aftermath your body loose and trembling. You could faintly hear Bruces chuckles in the back ground over your harsh panting. "And that my love is how to cum hard...Shit what even set that one off?" He asked but you just hummed reaching out for him he chuckled and moved closer tugging you down the table, ass just hanging off the edge. You tilted your head up warily eyeing him and sighed flopping back down seeing him loosening his belt with one hand. The next thing you knew he had stepped between your spread thighs smooting his palms over them massaging the still trembling muscles. "Got you good huh babe?" You grunted which resulted in a kiss on your stomach from him. You frowned when he moved closer to line himself up. "Bruce I've got my-" he looked up at you winking and gave a cheeky smile hooking fingers in the side of our gusset. "I know...Wanna fuck with them on for a change...Got a thin for panties at the mineut" you flushed turning your head to the side watching his hands as theymoved to hold you. You were still far to exhausted to move. He just smiled and watched as he hooked the panties to the side. The way they moved made your pussy look plump and fucking perfect! As much as he wanted to feast on the perfectly smooth peach he had other matters to attend.

Bruce grunted letting the crown of his cock brush the wet silken folds, he almost loved this more then fucking you. The intimacy of him just ghosting your body, teasing you with his own cock watching as your tiny body swallowed him. He shuddered and dipped down finding the luxurious slit. Without wasting time he plowed into you. You grunted as he entered you pressing fast and hard you felt as your walls gave way, molding to his girth like always. You'd never get enough! This man was so incredibly intoxicating it was unreal. You moan high as he moved forward putting his weight on his cock he throbbed inside of you, the thick veins almost acting as a pulsing vibrator humming against your still tender nerves ignighting them all over again. He grunted pressing his balls to your pelvis then pulled back only to ram harder. You screeched moving your hands to his wrists as he place his heavy palms on your hips and began tugging you towards him. Soon he found his rhythm a fast unrelenting pace driven by his own impending release. You whined and melwed at ever push and pull his cock was spearin into you, massaging your g spot maing you see stars then finishingneach thrust at your cervix. The almost unbearable mix of pleasure and pain was to much and you screamed throwing your head back and forth spurred on by his growls as his voice got lost. Feral sounds come from him vibrating the air around you as he pounded away determined.

Your body was screaming, it wanted release, it wanted more..And it wanted to rest you trembled knees knocking against his pistoning hips as your insides clutched at him sucking him tighter and tighter then without warning you fell again. This time was much more intense your whole body locked almost cramping and tremblingat thesametime, you couldnt move, or speak you just looked up wide eyed as waves of ecstasy rolled over you. Bruce through his head back with a victorious shout you vaguely felt his balls rise and tighten against you ass then he released inside of you grunting and rutting as he caem drawing it out as mich as he could then finally came to a halt and fell over you.

You panted weeping quietly moving to wipe your face and press our hair back. He arched over you kissing you slow a sensually no tongues nothing lewd just open mouthed kisses pouring his love into you in the best way he knew how. He pulled back looking to you then laughed. "Wow...That was better then I imagined" you nodded agreeing with him and pushed him back. "Babe...My panties are hurting me can you?" He jumped back quickly swiftly removjn him self and tucked himself away whilst pulling your panties back over our center. He patted our mound casually making you jolt and whine. "Bruuuce! No its sensitive!" He smiled eyeing your pussy, even through the wet material he could still tell it was a very happy freshy fucking little pussy! Swollen and pink! Just how he liked it. He moved pulling your trousers to your ankles chuckling. "Two...Three at once!" You frowned for a second then your face dropped...The list. You rolled your eyes and sat up leaning on unsteady arms and watched as he rolled up the trousers pulling then up to your knees. "Okay what were they?" He smiled slyly and hooked an arm around your waist sliding you off the table onto your feet. You staggered in the heels and grabbed his shoulders as he settled your weight onto his chest pulling the trousers up over your ass and zipped them up. "Board room, cum in your panties and fuck you in your fuck me heels! Three down in one hit!" You chuckled up at him as he explained smugly he was definitely proud of this one. You turned faceing the now desecrated table and flinched. Now that was a fucking mess! You turned glaring at him motioning a hand to the puddle. "Bruce -I you? Fuck it you don't care do you?...Nope didn't think so...Fuck my legs are still like jelly!" He grinned and wriggled his eyebrows at you. "Sooo you wont get very far if I said I'm ready for round two?~" you gaped at him instantly looking to his crotch he laughed waving you off. "Not really sweets...Lets go home, we could test out the jets in the bath, its supposed to give you a 'real massage experience'" you frowned at him as he scooped ou up swiping your bag and court settlement the  began leaving the room walking down to the private elevator. "Jets? We had jets in the bath since when?" He flushed as he entered the elevator pressing the garage level. "Since this afternoon...I had a new let spa bath tub fitted in our suite...Damien caught us in the hot tub and yeah-" you blinked not following for a few seconds then clicked.

"HE FUCKING WHAT!? WHEN DID HE-oh my god thats what you were freaked out about!? Oh no oh god he was me-did he see me? Please tell me he didnt?!" Bruce smiled cutely walking out of the elevatore to the car it was the lamboghini again today. "No he didnt see you I covered you but...I figured it wouldnt happen if we had somewhere else with jets so new bath" you sighed nodding as he placed you down by the car then tugged at the folder. "I'm proud of you for this, so very proud you stuck to your guns and you did it alone..You've proved with this that you're not a push over , that your a strong woman .A very very stong independent woman and I am so happy for you, but most of all I'm proud that I get to call you mine!" You smiled cupping his cheek and moved in kissing him softly. "Thank you Bruce, I want to show everyone that...That I may now be considered a kept woman...But I can fight for myself, protect myself when I need to and I'm glad you let me do that you don't know how much it means for you to let me do that" he through his head back laughing loud, you didnt understand you almost felt insulted until he calmed down and cupped your head in both his hands. "I don't let you do anything love! You can do what ever you want...Fucking let you stick up for yourself? Your free to do what ever you want...You want a business? I'll get you a bussines , you want to travel? we will! I'd do anything for you I love you...Outside of the bed you are my fucking queen, but inside the sheet? Your my very own pillow princess-OUCH! FUCK SWEETS?" You swooned he could have asked for anything then and there and youd have said yes...Until the pillow princess  comment. "I'm not a pillow princess! You-just your? UGH! STOP BEING SO FUCKING GOOD AND I'D BE ABLE TO THINK! AND POSSIBLY MOVE!" he laughed ou off opening the passenger side door motioning for you to get in. You rolled your eyes and they say chivalry is dead? Once seated the smiled to yourself. That was probably the most romantic thing he'd said and he had to ruin it with his typiclal bruce smug bull shit...But then again that was your Bruce. He slid into the drivers side.and you leaned over. "Hey babe?" He glanced at you as he turned the ignition reving the car to life.

"Yes my love?"

"You said anything right?" You twiddled your fingers and then move your hand to his thigh as the car began moving.

"Yes sweets anything"

"Teach me to drive-" he squinted nodding agreeing instantly as he pulled out ontothe road. "This thing" he snapped his gaze to you. What? His precious heart,  his beautiful little lover, sweet girlfriend behind the wheel of a seriously powerfull supercar? His heart almost stopped at the idea. "Are-are you sure? Its a powerful car...Don’t you want me to get you something err less-" "No I love this car its the first one you drove me around in...I want to drive it Bruce" he looked to you casually and pulled out tothe main road slowly cursing himself. He was going to refuse on the grounds of your own safty but, one look at your puppydog eyes and that was it you clapped cutely with a small 'yay'... one thing was for sure before you got behinde the wheel there was going to be some serious automatic breaking sensors put on...and a fucking speed limiter....and bullet proof windows and panels....Maybe some traker devices to...Like the one in your bracelet. "Babe I can here you thinking...Its just a car love don't...Don't go 'batting' it out okay?" Bruce didn't look at you as he drove on just a vaguely familiar hmm that meant he was pretending to agree with you...Or not listening one of the two his hmm's are all very similar. 

[katedoesntexist]

Personal thoughts and venting abt fandom below. Feel free to skip.

I feel like im wishing for something, wanting some sort of interaction but i dont rly know what. Its not wanting attention per se, bc ive honestly been low on available energy for others, so ive nothing to give back. But i feel something is lacking.

As you may know, I forayed into a fandom new to me. but due to some circumstances of the current incarnation of the media itself, i worry its mostly inhabited by young people, and i already see the edges of drama. So that kind of sucks. But idk ill just keep inhabiting my little corner of the internet over there and see how it goes.

I do sort of wish i felt more comfortable with being in a fandom in general, but idk my brains making it be A Thing. The pacrim fandom experience was wonderful and the people were/are lovely. But its also the only fandom that has destroyed my self esteem/confidence in creating content. And its not a fair assessment bc a handful of people have been incredibly supportive, and i dont want to discount that. But the damage is done and if i ever post anything pacrim again (unlikely), and the response is poor to none, it will do even more damage. And i know ive talked about this before, but it was SO crushing and invalidating to be told "you know, you can make stuff for yourself right?" So i stopped trying in order to protect what little creativity i had left. Its what pushed me to stop being active in the fandom altogether.

Its no surprise. I tend to pack my bags when things go south. I've left whole platforms, even industries bc of feeling invalidated. Now this is something i for sure know ive mentioned before, but i participate in fandoms to connect w people and have fun. I create to share a piece of myself. No its not abt notes or kudos. Its abt the fact that i put myself out there, and the response was essentially radio silence. Crickets. Thats the void telling me "no thanks. We dont want that piece of you."

Anyway, new fandom, which i guess is technically number four if we're talking the ones i was active in, is prob not going to go anywhere. Its not huge but its got a lot of weird ins and outs. I dont think anyone will befriend me or even interact. I rly wish tumblr encouraged conversation better. Its the one thing i miss abt twitter. So the gameplan is to just sort of be there and be present, and if someone takes notice of me and reaponds, then great. And if not, im not getting my hopes up, so it wont be a let down to go unnoticed. Its kind of freeing to start fresh where nobody knows you and you don't have any expectations of how it will go. But gosh thats all meta, and I just really wish i could be a fan and have fun and get excited w other fans.

Thats what it is. Thats what im missing. I miss having fun about the thing im interested in. What a shame.

[creacherkeeper]

writer ask game- tagged by @loved-the-stars-too-fondly !! thank you!!!

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

horrible question to start out with for me cause i dont think i really have one???? i tend to not be as ship-focused as many people in fandom, and also unfortunately am the type of person to get REALLY into things and then many times my feelings dont stay super strong over time. so some Honorary Mentions are shules from psych cause thats probably my oldest remaining ship, ineffable husbands from good omens cause that was my first gay ship, and clintasha from marvel because thats the oldest ship i still have waves of strong feelings about

How many works do you have on AO3?

95, 8 of those being more than 1 chapter/a collection. i also deleted a good handful of fics from older fandoms when i rejoined ao3 in 2015 (i was an early adopter but then left for a while), as well as having a decent amount of fics on ff.net and a fandom specific site from Back In The Day

What’s your total AO3 word count?

just with the fics on there now, 348k. total fics i've written across sites/before deleting was probably closer to 400k. if we're including original fiction / fully rewritten drafts of the same books, i'm definitely over a million

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

hello my old heart (3209 - she ra, touched starved catra 1)

wherever is your heart (1700 - she ra, touched starved catra 2)

you or your memory (1262 - she ra, catradora ptsd exploration)

the memories and scars (1115 - fullmetal alchemist, parental royai and elric brothers fluff)

time take us (773 - she ra, adora chronic pain au)

also shoutout to this untitled good omens ficlet that got 17.5k on tumblr but did not do nearly as well in the ao3 collection lmao

Do you reply to comments, why or why not?

yes, i always do!!! idk it makes me happy to acknowledge the kind things people say ;; and frequently they say stuff in their comments that i want to scream back about or give explanations/behind the scenes for. also i've made friends this way!!!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

im not super a person to leave off with angsty endings, so in recent memory probably this catra cuts her hair fic that takes place after save the cat. or maybe this fic that is almost entirely claudia thedragonprince whump cause i was really Going TF Through It at the time and had to take it out on someone

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i tend to go hurt/comfort or bittersweet a lot, but probably the like. just absolute Happiest is heartlines on your hand which was the last in the touch starved catra series and was just. the sappiest sap to ever sap

Do you write crossovers?

the only crossover i've ever done was an agents of shield/air bud crack fic that we DONT talk about. i got fucking bullied into doing it okay

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that much honestly? i got a few kind of mean comments on the touch starved catra #1 but also like. that fic got so popular there were bound to be a few. nothing else to my memory?? if there were a few on older stuff i probably just dont remember it at this point lmao

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i really dont lmao. besides not writing a ton of shippy stuff in general, i dont tend to write anything too Spicy. probably the closest i ever got was one short scene in this ineffable husbands 5 + 1 kissing fic that did not do as well as i thought it deserved tbh hahahaha

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of????? yall would tell me right lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i wrote a little ficlet about elena aos celebrating a colombian holiday with the team and a colombian friend translated it for their family! but i believe that is it. that ficlet isnt even on ao3 i tried to find it but was unable to. i dont believe anything has been translated for public consumption

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i don't think so? but i have gotten fanfic for my aos adoption au series!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i pretty much write things in one sitting or not at all lmao. i dont tend to take on a lot of series and stick to one shots as well. unless its over 8k i probably wrote it in one day. even the ones longer than that usually took less than a week from start to publication (for example, paladin!aelwyn fic is 15k and took 4 days of actual writing over less than a week to write, edit, and publish)

What are your writing strengths?

i feel like im best at dialogue and tend to get a lot of compliments on in-character voices. dialogue is my favorite to write lmao. i also think im good at describing spacing and movements, because i tend to think like. almost exclusively verbally and like?? physically?? if that makes sense?? when i write i picture almost nothing but i can "feel" what the character is doing. like i imagine making the gestures and everything but dont necessarily see anything as a picture in my head

(fun fact: for actual play fic i actually uh. picture the players acting it out, not the characters in the world. lmao whoops. like the first draft of it at least is 'what does this look/sound like at the table' and then i make it into a fic)

What are your writing weaknesses?

coming from the last question, definitely description, again because i picture almost nothing when i write. i have a VERY VERY hard time thinking with visuals. even when im coming up with description, i just THINK WORDS that would describe something, not picture it. so a lot of time i have to base my description on something or im just like. pulling descriptive words out of my ass with no basis. and the visual of it doesnt always make sense to other people. the other thing i struggle a lot with is action scenes, rip

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i think there's a time and a place and a right way to do it. i think with anything, it's not a "write what you know" but "know what you write". if youre writing someone multilingual, understand how multilingual people actually talk and use those languages. i think the closest i've gotten is "writing signs" for amaya from dragon prince. obviously thats not exactly the same, but for those fics i went back and forth between translating what she was saying, giving the exact signs without grammar, or just describing the movement of the signs. i dont know that i did it perfectly, but i did my best and learned from it. everything in those fics was knowledge i gained from my ASL classes in college (mostly taught by Deaf teachers)

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

technically digimon when i was like 7 years old lmao but first published fic was for avatar in 2007 on ff

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

it definitely changes depending on what i've written recently, but i'm really proud of paladin!aelwyn fic and am still really happy with the catradora ptsd exploration and this self-indulgent ineffable husbands mutual pining fic, but i also will say that writing humor is not always easy for me so whenever i feel like i pulled it off i am very proud of that hahaha

-

tagging @agentcalliope @floralprintshark @beatricexbenedick @marshmallsy @frenchibi @rizguks @strangetorpedos @labelleofbelfastcity

[matan4il]

THE SNOW ANALOGY ?????!!??!??????? YOUR MIND OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL 💘💘💘 the idea that in the mess that was eddie's life when he arrived in LA, he found buck and he was the one thing he could hold onto, that he trusted because it was safe to be with him. PLEASE.

Bri! ;_; Thank you so much, darling! I am speechless and so happy that you liked Snow on Palm Trees. I was fully expecting that no one would read it and I am so surprised and happy that people gave it a chance and that they even actually enjoyed it! Amazing and unbelievable. And then to receive this message on top? I am a puddle. I’m so glad that that analogy came to be and yes, I adored writing it for those exact same reasons, it’s just lovely to know that all that resonated with you, too. Thank you again for your kindness, and not just now! xoxox

hey I know I've written this in your last fic, but i had to show you how much i appreciate you , how nuch i adore you and how much i value your arts! JUST KEEP WRITING. YOU CAN MAKE THE WORLD (AT LEAST MINE) BETTER JUST WITH YOUR COMPASSION AND KINDNESS THAT SHOWS THROUGH YOUR LITTLE AND YET MEANINGFUL WORDS.  you deserve all love not just in the world but in entire universe😘😘😘🥺🥺🥺

@yelenabelous my love, consider me being that pleading eyes emoji, too! Thank you so much for all that you did, read the fic, left kudos and a comment and then sent me this ask as well! I can’t thank you enough, it’s made me so happy and it’s absolutely delightful to get to share my creations with you. As for compassion and kindness, please never settle for less, hon. *You* deserve all that and more, as well as all the love in the world! Thank you again! xoxox

Hi, frustrated buddie shipper who is losing hope here. Do you ever wonder if the writers really aren’t thinking into things as deeply as we are? Like the Easter eggs and parallels we find in the episodes really AREN’T Easter eggs and just coincidences? That honestly feels like such a stupid question because I know they’re not idiots and how could it all be just coincidence?? But it’s hard not to read into things with what they give us, but if buddie doesn’t happen then what was it all forl? I’ve been rewatching the previous seasons and the early Ana episodes, and I’m starting to feel like they’re endgame and I DONT WANT TO BELIEVE THAT. They make me cringe so badly. There are just so many things wrong with that relationship, but idk if the writers see it that way?? If they don’t want to make buddie happen, fine. But please not Eddie/Ana!! And at least give us Bi Buck as a consolation prize. Please reassure me 🥴 I am not optimistic but don’t want to completely lose hope. Sorry for my rambling

Hi Nonnie and please, don’t apologize for anything! I totally get it. IDK if you’ve read my meta for ep 408, if not it may help. You can also roam my Buddie meta tag, maybe all those asks together will. Generally speaking, I can’t promise you Buddie will become canon, so you have to decide for yourself what’s right for you. I can, however, tell you that I have not given up hope. Def not because of Ana. Out of 4 eps she’s been in so far, 2 have had a plot (of sorts) and both, instead of being about Ana and Eddie, ended up being about Eddie and Chris, with Buck being a major part of how the whole thing is resolved. That’s not just a parallel we spot that the writers might have put in without noticing (generally speaking, I try to avoid writing about things that I notice, but might be accidental), that’s a narrative choice, a meaningful one, and one that was even more obvious in 408 than it was in 312. And beyond that, you know how there’s a suggestion for writers to ‘show, not tell’? So far we’ve been told Ana is amazing, we’ve not really seen it. She’s uninvested in and so’s her r/s with Eddie. Which the show is rushing through. I just don’t see the staying power for this. And I’m def here for bi Buck, whether Buddie goes canon or not... but TBH, I think the biggest chance for us to get that is if Buddie does go canon. Shows generally fear “turning characters gay” and close minded audiences tend to have a hard distinguishing ‘bi’ from ‘gay’. Which is actually why we should have more bi rep, but from TPTB’s POV, why should they risk anger from less open minded viewers without gaining something? Buddie would be groundbreaking, it would make the show a part of queer TV history (right now it’s just another show with good rep, but not something that has to be included in summaries of how queer rep has developed) and might earn them a lot of viewers who aren’t currently watching 911, maybe enough to compensate for the biphobes the show will lose, maybe even enough to increase the ratings rather than deplete them. Bi Buck alone? A lot less likely to do that. So hopefully TPTB see all that and wanna have an impact, so we’ll get both. I hope this helped! xoxox

(the rest under a cut ‘coz I already rambled too much)

I love that Eddie put his hand in front of his mouth when he laughed because Christopher does the same thing and I always think it's cute when a parent/child duo does the same little thing like that.

Nonnie, I fully agree with this! I adore every little thing that shows the connection between Eddie and Chris, that they’re not just a parent and kid, but a family unit who share so many things. That’s why the opening sequence of ep 204 where we get their morning routine together will never stop being one of the best things about 911. I hope we keep getting these golden nuggets! Thank you so much for this! xoxox

Hello! What are your thoughts on the solar system appearing throughout 4x08 (in Chris’ room and on his shirt)? I thought I was reading too much into it, but then rewatching the invisible strings scenes from 4x02, they show a close-up of Chris’ solar system model before panning to him and Eddie sleeping. That combined with Chris’ shirt and the inclusion of the solar system model in the shot of Eddie picking up Buck’s call in 4x08 just feels deliberate and significant to me.

Hi Nonnie! I replied to a very similar ask the other day here. IDK if you saw it or not. I think that the shot of the solar system during the ‘invisible strings’ talk is very meaningful, it was a short beat, but really, our s4 re-introduction to Chris and showing us where he’s at, so even though it’s a short scene, it’s very meaningful. At the same time, the solar system being featured in other scenes is something I wanna be careful about, because it could be that the prop department is making choices there which are separate to the plot. Meaning, they could be preoccupied with showing a consistent image of Chris’ interests rather than thinking of the theme of that specific scene. What I’m saying is - it’s good to keep this in mind and see if it’s repeated, but I’m not jumping to bigger conclusions in regards to the ‘solar system’ theme specifically just yet. I hope my answer leaves you satisfied, Nonnie! xoxox

Hey, so your writing is absolutely amazing (seriously, I live for it!!) but what are your fav works from other people, if I may be so bold to ask

Thank you so much for your kind compliments, Nonnie! I’m so overwhelmed whenever someone likes my writing by and large! As for fic recs, God. I’m afraid my ability to reply is limited. :/ The vertigo has seriously undermined my capacity for reading, I struggle with reading anything that’s over 1k words (I even have trouble re-reading what I’ve written myself, which makes me even more grateful for my beta’s). However, I did request @ronordmann for cover arts that you can take as recs! She’s not doing any right now, but I hope to get to request more in the future. I believe my requests are all tagged on her blog. So browsing that should both give you an idea and an awesome aesthetic experience. ;) I hope that helps! xoxox

[justlightlysedated]

20 Questions

20 questions, writer's edition, I was tagged by @lambourngb 😊❤❤

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

71! 70 for roswell and one for vagrant queen

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

468, 583!!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

not entirely sure tbh, but let's count now:

timkon, bandom, glee, specifically pukurt, but some other ships too, merlin, doctor who, torchwood, teen wolf, agents of shield, runaways, the old guard, vagrant queen, and obviously, roswell new mexico

i think there might be more, but i don’t remember rn

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the cost of greatness, which i cowrote with marlo

a cure i know that soothes the soul (does so impossibly), the first pwp i wrote for this fandom lol

the person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger, which i wrote for marlo

for better or for worse (til death do us part), which i also cowrote with marlo lol

it might be your wound but they’re my sutures, which i also wrote for marlo

so the pattern im sensing here is that my most popular fics were written with/for marlo which sounds about right lol

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i am not sure tbh, i write some pretty angsty one shots and longer fics, but i TRY to at least give a slightly hopeful ending, tho now that i’m thinking about it, i think the angstiest thing i’ve written was that prompt fill based on the song, for island fires and family, i remember SOBBING the entire time that i wrote it (there is miluca in that one), but ALSO there is the fic i wrote in reaction to the season one finale, which also made me cry, which was called, we both know how this story ends

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

once again i’m not sure, like i said before, i try to give my fics hopeful endings if they’re really angsty, and i love me some hurt/comfort, but i’m not entirely known for writing happy, fluffy fics, tho i do TRY sometimes for certain people

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

yes!! i do love me some crossovers, and i guess i would have to say the malex, sort of doctor who au, i’m technically still writing for tove

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes??? but i’m not sure if i could classify it, like i’ll write pretty much anything within reason and if it doesn’t squick me out

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

okay, so like don’t hate me, but no, i rarely, if ever respond to comments, i just don’t know what to say at all, like i’m the type of person that really wants every single message to be unique and special, but there are only so many ways to thank someone for reading your fic, so i just tend to post things and then thank everyone for reading afterwards, if there is someone that shows up often on my notifications, or if someone asks me a specific question pertaining to the story, then i will answer, i also answer back if i wrote the fic for someone and they left a comment, and if i’m sent an ask on here about something that i wrote, but i am simultaneously the world's most shy and confident person ever, when it comes to my writing, so i’m so sorry

this doesnt mean that i dont appreciate every comment that i get because i really do, im just super shy and awkward and i may write good-ish, but i do NOT have the same way with words in person

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really?? if i have i don’t remember it, usually i’m the one who talks the worse about my own writing

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, the only kurtbastian fic i’ve ever written was translated into russian

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yep!! as y’all probably saw from my top five fics up there somewhere, marlo @bestillmyslashyheart is basically my fic writing soulmate, we just really click when it comes to writing

14. What's your all time favourite ship? to write for?

atm it’s malex, which is more than obvious, BUT before they hijacked my brain and made their home within my neurons, it was skimmons!!! i wrote fic for them for YEARS, even after i stopped watching aos

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i’m just gonna talk about fics that i’ve posted and haven’t updated and not any of the hundreds of wips that have never seen the light of day, my original witch au tbh, i just, roswell made maria and isobel somehow related, and just made me really uncomfortable with the ship, which is the main reason that i’m not gonna finish the fic if i’m being perfectly honest, there is ALSO that au i had where michael’s daughter from the future comes back to the past and she had been raised by alex, because of reasons that are petty, probably my space opera au as well, and only because i just want to write other things MORE

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i’m good at describing things, especially kisses, i LOVE writing kisses, it’s one of my favorite things, that and my fight scenes are two of the things i pride myself the most on

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, sometimes i feel the characters are ridiculously out of character, but then i don’t care because sometimes in canon characters are also ridiculously out of characters, also describing things, because sometimes i just feel like scenes don’t flow right, i am definitely a comma whore, and use dashes and hyphens in places they definitely shouldn’t be used, run-on sentences are my best friends, also english isn't my first language, so, sometimes the way i phrase things just come out wrong

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

tbh completely honest, i follow the nora sakavic method where you just write the dialogue in english like, “hey there love,” they said in perfect french, and i only break this rule if i actually know the language because just translating straight from english always makes things sound stilted and weird

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

dc comics, i wrote several timkon fics which i posted on livejournal

20. What's your favourite fic you've written?

oh, i know that love is all about the wind, how it can hold me up and kill me in the end (still i loved it), no specific reason why, i just love it with my entire heart!!

and that's it!! im not gonna tag anyone cause I saw that most ppl were already tagged, but if you want to do this just say that I tagged you!!

[vos-videmus]

Tagged by @gosh-emperor 👁👄👁

How many works do you have on AO3?

9. Think i used to have around 20 or whatever but then I deleted most of them

your total AO3 word count?

12021

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Including the things I’ve deleted, some band fics, r6s, cod, cyberbonk, and some marvel

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Cyberbonk secks and then the marvel shit that i have absolutely no memory of writing but one of my orphaned fics probably had more

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I’m terrible with compliments but i try to even though most the time they end up just being keysmashes

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I genuinely do not remember half the shit I’ve written jLBDSLGJ

Maybe that snippet for @pinkydude I did if that counts :)

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nah no crossovers

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Don’t think so, but there was this one time where my toxic “friend” left a comment on one of my fics because we mutually blocked each other on a basically everything and said some shit along the lines of “oh so you can write whatever this is but not send an email”

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

ahah yeah :) Just dudes being guys. Guys being bros that casually suck dick y’know?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Idk hope not but i also orphaned a good half of my fics so who knows

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Had a couple translated to Russian

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I’m in purgatory rn take a guess

WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Maybe that Bryce fic that I started when my bastard boy was still tied to the game canon before i abandoned it because i rewrote his entire lore just for a bitchass NPC corpo thot that is barely in the game for 10 minutes :)))))))

What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhh descriptors?? Mildly pretentious prose and dialogue

What are your writing weaknesses?

My nonexistent work ethic and laziness and a lack of commitment to finishing anything that isn’t a one shot but even then, a one shot is cutting it close

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t really mind? Obviously don’t google translate everything but a few things here and there are Fine I’d say? I’ve definitely google translated some randomass words for fics before so oop

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

God. Fucking Minecraft when i was 11 and wattpad was the hot new shit. I didn’t touch ff.net because it looked ugly ❤️

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

One of my 5 blurbs I’ve written for short circuit as descriptors and lore for their relationship and how they act around each other because they give me brainrot and because i dont have enough brain cells to actually write out their shit into a full fledged fic

Idk who I follow that’s a writer so uhhh I tag you :^) if you wanna

[featherymalignancy]

Hey just out of pure curiosity, I was wondering why you don’t like the kudos function on AO3? You don’t have to explain or anything if you don’t want I’ve just been trying to understand and I’m not sure I do. Thanks!

Okay first of all, you’re not alone because I’m not convinced I understand it myself...

😂😂

Still, but I will do my best to explain, but first a disclaimer:

🚨 a) I know this 100% an emotional stance that lacks critical rationality, but this is my Hill and I’ll die if I want to. 🚨

🚨 b)This is my opinion based on how kudos make me feel, not an indictment of readers who give them. 🚨

Okay here goes:

For me, This WHOLE thing comes down to intention v. impact: a person’s motivation for action v. how that action is received by others. I am not here to argue with or denigrate the intent behind kudos, rather to explain their negative impact on me.

As a fic writer of many years, I want be clear in saying that I do not think readers “owe” authors anything in exchange for getting to read their work. Fanfic is a gift that is freely given, and like all gifts, it should be given without the expectation of reciprocation.

I understand that there are many reasons a person may not be comfortable commenting on a fic: perhaps they are shy or intimidated by the author/fandom or are not comfortable communicating in language the fic is written in.

Those are all valid reasons to not comment on a fic, and in point of fact, you don’t NEED a reason not to comment on a fic, as I mentioned before. I post my writing free of charge so that people can enjoy my work free of cost. That includes leaving a comment, etc.

HOWEVER

I have dedicated a LOT to my writing over the years. To date, I have published over 1.3 million words of fic. Assuming the average manuscript has 250 words a page, my fic anthology would be approximately 5,326 pages—over six times longer than Kingdom of Ash.

I dont say this to brag or suggest that I’m better than other writers or deserve more. I’m just saying that when I spent months working on chapter that may be as long as 15k-20k words and that has been researched, edited, and generally agonized over and the reaction I get is

👍🏼

It’s leaves me feeling hollow and frankly demotivated. I just poured my soul into something, and this is what kudos feel like as a response.

And I understand that many people would argue that kudos are a good compromise for those who want to show appreciation but aren’t comfortable to actually commenting, etc.

That is perfectly valid, except that isn’t how they make me feel, so regardless of the intent, the impact on me personally is negative, which is why I’ve asked that people no longer leave kudos on my work.

I also heard people argue, “isn’t a kudos better than nothing?”

For me, no it isn’t. The reality is that if you read my fic and don’t interact with it, I will never know and am thus unimpacted. If you read my fic and your only reaction is it a kudos, I will—for better or worse—always be left with this impression.

So yeah, long winded as always, but there you have it. In all honestly, I also don’t think I have every forgiven Ao3 for the breach which lead to millions of fics being added to a unauthorized fic reader app, including my own.

I know it wasn’t their “intent” that someone would exploit their platform’s structure in that ways but again, it didn’t soften the impact of that violation.

Any before somone calls me a hypocrite for still having an Ao3, let me assure you im well aware of my hypocrisy. As soon as I find the courage to part with all the beautiful comments people have posts there, I will hopefully find the courage to put my money where my mouth is and delete my works from Ao3

[maariarogers]

flash review for episode 15 cause ur girl managed to catch it a bit early than the usual, and im still re-watching it tonight to soak all the heartache again, but for now, lets just get into some instant review cause i wanna know where y’all stand

so first of all, HAN SEOJUN IS SO FINE????????

that long coat, dat lean leg in black pants, dat leather boot like....... honey im playing ABBA whenever u walk in from now on mr. han seojun SIRRR

sua is a queen as always, she’s there at her ex’s party like its nothing and we respect that

also moon gayoung and that guy she accidentally mistaken as suho,,,,, yo,,,, is it just me or they look good on-screen together like.....,,,,, where’s the tv show with them as main leads i’m waiting @ korean-drama network

i feel,,, super, SUPER bad for seojun to be honest

i’ve been in the position where i pined over someone for YEARS and it’s really like you’re just left there, hanging, and i know jugyeong doesn’t mean to and she, by all means, do not owe him anything, but the pain i can feel he’s going through... that hits me

like,,, the whole time i was just really like??? “baby, move on, u deserve so much better” but feelings aren’t that easy i know!!!!!!!! there’s a reason he can’t move on!!!!! and i just feel so bad :(((

he’s been put in that delicate position where he’s taking care of jugyeong because she’s his friend, and because he knows jugyeong has gone through so much from suho’s departure, but u can tell it’s hurting him as much as he tries to pretend it isn’t

and the way the drama portrays jugyeong’s feeling vs. how she was in the webtoon is so, so, so good

in the webtoon, there wasn’t really much at stake i could say? suho and her never really went on a date. there was once, and they were almost almost together, and while they confessed at the airport, thats??? just it???

when suho stopped responding to the texts, it must’ve been easier for jugyeong to cast suho aside, even though it must’ve hurt her deeply that he’s become unresponsive

she decides that he mustn’t cared much, or he was just too busy, and she puts him behind. she was angry, but she wasn’t - really hung up on it, if that makes sense?

but in the k-drama, they already have this history with each other. more than being one another’s first love, they’ve both become a prominent figure of strength in each other’s life; suho was jugyeong’s anchor, as much as jugyeong became suho’s. they established it, they made it known, they showed it. (in the webtoon - it was more subtle. you can’t really see it unless you look for it.)

which was why it’s so believable to see how jugyeong couldn’t really - move past what she’s shared with suho, even if she was mad with how they ended their relationship.

in the webtoon, jugyeong considers and sees seojun as a romantic partner fairly quickly. once seojun’s made his feelings known, it wasn’t long that jugyeong realises, oh, i could like this guy, i could fall for him, and they dated, but in the k-drama, she considers him - but she’s still so unsure. she’s still so hesitant.

and that is SUCH!!!!!! good writing??? because i get the vibe that, it wasn’t like jugyeong’s still in love with suho, per se - because he dumped her. he hurt her. and she is furious over it. but she still - think of him in every aspect of her romantic life. and it’s so ..... delicate, this line between “still being in love” and “not being able to get over someone” that the k-drama, i believe, portrays well??

it’s almost like, suho’s haunting jugyeong. she’s accepted he’s gone, he’s not there anymore, but his ghost follows in nearly all her decision, in all her steps - if that makes sense? yeah. idk i just think the portrayal of this ambiguous state is neat, and i give kudos to the director and writers

i’m lowkey pissed at suho because he just seems???? so careless??? with jugyeong’s feelings????? but then like .......... i kind of get too, why he acted the way he acted???

i’m not saying i agree with his actions cause nah bitch needs to STEP UP TO MY GIRL IF HE WANTS A PLACE IN HER LIFE, but the idea that he could just,,,, “continue where he left off” seems logical coming from suho. i assume he doesn’t realise that there’s this chance that jugyeong might’ve moved on, might’ve even been seeing someone new; because he hasn’t.

i like that in the next episode’s preview we see him apologising, presumedly for dealing with their relationship the way he did (and hopefully for how he acted after) and he sounds soft, sincere, when he’s at it. i want the show to pull the rug on suho. he can’t just hurt someone, and not deal with the aftermath of what he’s done. this isn’t how this works.

on another note, Y’ALL KNOW I’M HERE FOR MY TRUE QUEEN LEE SELENA

yo..... selena was a bitch skdkshfekgf but like??? i like it???? the whole lee family’s just a bunch of assholes on different levels, and i feel like it’s so appropriate for some reason, and selena rlly be out there building her career while she leaves suho to care for their dad huh

(im kidding my headcanon is that selena flies back to care for suho too ok but she still gets shit done she’s just that badass)

kang sujin........... i love u madam, take all my money

SHE’S SO PRETTY???!?!?!??!?!?? and with her volunteer vest and her pamphlet and she’s out there in the cold doing what she does and im 😭😭😭

heegyeong and mr. han are cute ig.... heegyeong is so pretty tho??? omg???

the lim family once again takes the medal for being the best family

also can we appreciate that jugyeong’s family knows suho and jugyeong are romantically together cause in the beginning jugyeong’s mother immediately knows ‘BOYFRIEND’ call ID is suho? UGH love that detail

convinced 23843947% that kim chorong has feelings for han seojun WHAT HAVE I BEEN TELLING Y’ALL?????!?!?

overall score: 7/10 because while the angst is Up There, it’s still so??? unpredictable???? i kinda dont want suho and jugyeong to end up immediately together in the last episode, cause i feel like suho needs to really build back that trust that he broke, and i really want seojun to be able to finally move on or have a peace of mind, or like??? idk, a chance??? like, if u wanna follow the webtoon for their storyline, its just much better if u do it right??? but ofc we can’t have that cause everything’s wrapping up but yeah!!! its ok, its just i wish not everything is rushed?

OK IM DONE RAMBLING good luck @ episode 16 y’all, see u on the other side!!!!!!!!!!!