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kiyoomi-levin · 8 months

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somethin' new (miya twinsxF!reader) <NSFW>

a/n i'm working on like 3 other fics rn but i found this in my drafts and thought it was good enough to publish (with a LOT of polishing ofc). I'm new to smut writing so I'm very insecure abt this but i hope u enjoy

summary::: your older brother atsumu likes watching porn. and the twins like trying shit out on you. aka porn w plot osamu focus bc he's best boy word count::: 2.9k warnings/triggers!!!::: non-con, step-cest, stockholm syndrome-ish, the miya twins are really fucking mean and possessive, double penetration (my fave! <33)

People think the Miyas are scariest when they lose, when they're arguing with each other, or when they're distracted during a serve.

But you know them better–actually, you know them best.

They're scariest when they're fucking you.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I was watchin' porn yesterday and I wanna try somethin' new," Atsumu announces as he walks through into the living room, tossing his volleyball bag onto the couch.

Osamu rolls his eyes, continuing to flip through his textbook at the kitchen table.

"Why the hell would you watch porn when you got ‘er right here?" Osamu snaps back, hardly glancing up. Atsumu’s eyes shift to you as you squirm on Osamu’s lap uncomfortably.

Osamu continues casually stroking your pussy with one hand as the other holds you down.

You’re shaking– he’s been at this for twenty minutes now, reading his lecture notes as he continuously edges you. You haven’t given in yet, though.

You know he’s just waiting for you to beg him for it.

It's still hard to believe that you’re dripping on his lap and he won’t stop memorizing vocabulary for his upcoming exam.

As a final year university student, Osamu’s been under a lot of pressure. What better way to alleviate it than to play with his favorite toy?

Atsumu takes in the scene in front of him, smirking when he makes eye contact with you. You quickly turn away.

Although the twins share you, it still feels wrong when one of them catches you in the act with the other.

“Ya sure you don’t even wanna hear? I know you’ll like it, ya freak,” Atsumu says, now glancing at his brother.

You shiver at Atsumu’s words and Osamu frowns as he moves his hand away from your lap.

"Fine. Out with it, asshole," he murmurs, finally distracted from his studies. He shoves his papers aside, full attention on you now. From the corner of your eye, you see Atsumu light up.

It’s almost comical to see the twins this way.

Always fighting, always competing— but when it comes to you they're a single organism.

"I was watchin' my favorite porn star-- ah, don't be jealous, y/n! I only watch her for inspiration because she's freaky-- and I saw her take two in one hole."

Your eyes widen.

You wouldn't be able to take it.

"No, please," you whisper, holding your breath. Osamu’s body flexes under you reflexively.

When have you become such a pussy?

You were always the outspoken, little step-sister who fought her brothers tooth and nail for the last slice of cake.

Nobody could have excepted them to fuck the brat out of you within a month of moving in together.

Osamu surprisingly agrees with you.

"Nah. I'm not into rubbin' dicks with you," he says, both hands on your chest now. The thought of being that close to a naked Atsumu makes him grimace.

Atsumu rolls his eyes.

"I'm not into that shit either, but I wanna see her take it." You wince as Osamu pinches your nipples, hard. He's gone completely silent, which isn't a good sign.

“It’ll be a little painful, but I know she’ll be able to pull through,” Atsumu continues, carefully watching Osamu’s expression.

The Miya fans would be shocked to discover that Osamu's a sadist, more so than Atsumu.

While Atsumu wipes away your tears, Osamu enjoys watching them stream down your face.

When Osamu doesn't respond, Atsumu sighs and rubs his head, frustrated. He’d been looking forward to this since last evening, when he had to jerk off to the sounds of you and Osamu going at it.

"Fine then. I'll try it myself with a toy. I bought a new dildo for her, ya know. And it's bigger than you."

No further words are needed—Osamu pulls his hands out of your shirt, and you feel him physically fuming behind you.

He's possessive, stupidly so, and hates when Atsumu buys you disgusting silicon toys and shit.

He really doesn't understand his twin sometimes.

Why buy toys, why watch porn, when you, his adorable, precious little bitch, exists?

Osamu would rather lose a game at nationals before you cum off a piece of vibrating plastic.

And he won't admit it, but deep down he's scared. Scared that it'll satisfy you better than he can.

The less competition, the better. He's already competing with Atsumu on a daily basis.

Atsumu, who can make you squirt faster than he can. Atsumu, who makes you laugh. Atsumu, who, Osamu knows, you favor.

Maybe it's because the little shit handles you just a little better in bed.

Osamu picks you up from classes, purchases expensive jewelry and takes you out to get sweets every week, you still shy away from his touches.

So Osamu has given up-- if you're gonna hate him anyways, he'll do whatever he wants.

And that’s why you’re always left a humiliatingly wet mess whenever he uses you.

"Fine. Ya better take a shower first, you fuckin' freak," Osamu says, pushing you off his lap.

Atsumu smirks, cracking his fingers and wrists.

"You be preppin' her, 'Samu."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It feels good, but you don't want to admit it.

You’re lying on your shared king-sized bed, trying to hold back tears and moans as Osamu eats you out, pumping three of his long fingers into you quickly.

Between the two of them, Atsumu can get you to cum faster. But Osamu gets you to cum harder. His every move is calculated–from every lick to every moment of rest he gives you.

Osamu's on a mission to get you to beg.

"Samu, please," you breathe, gripping the bed sheets. You feel him smiling, and you grip at the bedsheets. All the teasing he’d been doing before Atsumu got home is quickly catching up to you.

“What was that?” He asks, his dark eyes taking in the conflicting emotions washing over your face. When you don’t respond, he leans back and slaps your pussy, hard. Your eyes widen in pain, and you can’t help the squeak that you release, to his satisfaction.

You’re wet, and he knows it’s not a fluke. You want him. He hasn’t trained you over this past year for nothing.

“‘You aren’t bein’ too mean, are ya?” Atsumu asks, stepping out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a towel. He’s shamelessly naked, hard from hearing your cries from the shower.

Atsumu surveys your body, admiring the marks his twin has placed on you.

A small part of him is thankful his brother is willing to play the role of mean cop. Atsumu gets to reap the rewards of consoling you—although he too enjoys seeing you covered in bruises and left in tears.

He’d never hurt you himself though. He likes cuddling with you and loves the way you laugh at his lame jokes too much.

Osamu snaps him back to reality, standing up as he wipes his shiny lips with the back of his hand.

“She’s ready.”

Atsumu grins. His brother is strangely meek today---probably from you refusing to go to his practice game the other day. You had enjoyed a nice picnic date with Atsumu instead (although that ended with you shaking and moaning in Samu’s arms that night).

“I guess I’m first?”

“Ladies first.”

“You’re a bitch, ya know that?” Atsumu spits, rubbing his dick with his left hand and soaking his right in your wetness. Osamu laughs, pulling off his shirt in a smooth motion.

You, on the other hand, can’t stop shaking. The thought of having two of them in a single hole is almost too much to wrap your head around. With Osamu’s length and Atsumu’s girth, you’re sure you won’t be able to take it.

What if you tear? Surely they’d stop if you beg hard enough.

For now, you can’t do anything but accept this.

From what you’ve observed, when the twins are playful in bed, you shouldn’t resist.

Lost in your thoughts, you gasp as Atsumu yanks you towards him—he’s sitting at the head of the bed, leaning against the wall. You gulp as you find yourself hovering above his dick, facing Osamu, who’s busy tossing Atsumu's towel onto the ground.

“Aw, baby. Calm down, won’t ya? You know it hurts more when you’re nervous.”

Atsumu brings your face towards him, grip so tight you couldn’t turn away if you wanted to.

His rough hands, thick from years of volleyball training, gently smoothes out your hair, and he begins to press kisses on your jawline. The motion is so welcoming that you momentarily forget he’s the one to propose this in the first place.

Osamu sighs, frustrated.

“Get on with it, won’t ya?”

Atsumu frowns at him, pulling away from you.

“And that, ‘Samu, is exactly why she likes me better than ya,” he says, slamming you onto him in a single motion.

It hurts!

You groan, fingers twitching. It hurts already, he’s especially hard today. What’re you going to do when it gets to the meaner twin?

Atsumu pets your clit, grinning as he feels you begin to melt into his chest. He knows exactly how you like it. That spongy spot, right… there. Your groan turns into a moan as he shifts his hips, aiming to reach deep inside of you.

Osamu doesn’t break eye contact with you as he slowly gets onto the bed. He’s in no hurry, unfortunately.

If he wasn't such an asshole, you'd find him hot.

You really do love his gorgeous eyes and gray hair.

"Stop bein' a dick and get on with it," Atsumu says. He scowls at his brother, who continues to simply stare at you.

Both of them know Osamu doesn't want to actually hurt you. He'd never break you.

You're too precious.

"W-what?" Your shaky voice intrudes into his thoughts.

You've gone red and stopped clawing at Atsumu's unrelenting hand.

Did he say that out loud? He must have, because Atsumu is laughing now.

Fuck.

This isn't the time to be embarrassed, though.

Osamu reaches forward, lining his dick next to his brother's.

To be honest, he was never opposed to the idea.

Yeah, Atsumu's a disgusting pig, but he's his twin.

There's an unbreakable bond between them and knowing they share so much DNA sometimes makes Osamu feel as though they're just one person in two bodies. He’s honestly willing to try anything that Atsumu proposes (except get him off, of course, he’ll leave that to you).

Taking a deep breath, he begins to push, using his precum as lube.

Fuckkkkkk.

Osamu's pretty sure everyone had the same thought at that exact moment.

It's so tight. It's so warm. It’s hurting you, for sure. But it feels too good to stop.

For you, it’s suffocating, being stuck between two muscular twins. And, once again showcasing their unspoken connection, they begin to carefully move in and out of you at the same pace.

It hurts now, and tears are burning behind your eyes, but there’s that little voice in your head telling you to just relax and enjoy it—it’ll feel good.

Why? Why does it have to feel so good when this is all wrong?

Fundamentally, twins shouldn't be sharing the same girl, at the same time.

That same girl should especially not be their little sister whom they've been older brothers to for a decade.

But what does it matter now?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Atsumu's in heaven. This is better than he imagined, actually. He’s decided that he’ll take the easy route, playing with your soft breasts and sucking hickies into your neck. His dick has gone still as he simply enjoys the fast pace Osamu fucks you at.

While there’s a slight burn against his cock every time Osamu moves, the pain only intensifies the pleasure.

Osamu’s eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on watching his dick pump into you. He wants to curse out Atsumu for being so lazy, but at the same time— he’s always liked to be in charge.

That voice was right, because it’s feeling good now. Your brain buzzes pleasantly and you’re losing control of your legs.

Atsumu's moaning into your ear, Osamu's grunting with every push, and you feel hyper aware of every motion as you're slipping away.

The dull lights of the room begin to blur.

You're crying now. Your toes are curling and drool slips out of the corner of your mouth. How stupid you must look right now.

How long has it been? 5 minutes? 5 hours?

It has to be at least that long or else the numbness that you’re beginning to experience down there doesn’t make any sense.

Atsumu has resumed his efforts in making you feel good, overstimulating every fiber of your being as he wipes away your tears and nuzzles your neck. It’d be an innocent gesture if he wasn’t rubbing circles onto your clit.

Osamu has been working like a well-oiled machine, admiring your broken face and how good his lower half feels, circulating adrenaline throughout his body.

Just looking at you, choked up and crying, is enough.

"I'm cumming..." he whispers. No, he’s not. He can’t.

Not before his stupid twin does. And certainly not before you do.

"Come on, baby, beg for it," Atsumu whispers into your ear, as if he can read his brother’s thoughts.

Maybe they do have some sort of telepathy. Atsumu reaches forward and gently pushes down on your lower belly. You groan immediately. The slight pressure has your walls rubbing against their dicks even tighter now, and Osamu’s now grinding against that spot you love.

You’re gonna cum. Or pass out. Maybe both.

"Please!" You shout. Fuck pride. "Please, please, please, ‘Samu, please cum."

Annnd he’s coming. Osamu reaches out, grasps your neck, and squeezes.

Your cries are the only thing he can hear, loud enough to drown out Asumu’s words, and he’s losing sensation in his hips—

“Fuck, I love you, y/n…” Osamu says, admiring the way your eyes roll to the back of your skull.

Even as your eyesight flickers, you make out this confession, lips automatically parting to moan.

You tighten as Osamu releases in you, Atsumu following suit shortly after (something he’ll bully Osamu about later, no doubt).

There’s a certain stillness in the room as Osamu immediately slips out of you and turns away. Post-nut clarity’s setting in, and he realizes he’s not as fond of dick rubbing with Atsumu as he was a few minutes ago.

Atsumu’s still panting in your ear, and, after a few moments of rest, gently eases himself out of you. Unlike his usual self (who insists on cuddling with you after the deed, no matter how much bodily fluid you’re covered in) he allows you to roll away from him, still recoiling from the strong orgasm.

Surprisingly, the lazy asshole leaps off the bed first today.

“I’ll be taking a shower first. Alone.”

You muster enough energy to glance at him, then at Osamu. It’s so awkward you’d run out of the apartment if you could.

Osamu knows his brother is being especially kind today, letting him speak to you in private.

As Atsumu strides towards the bathroom, he catches Osamu’s eye and winks, smirking at Osamu’s middle finger.

Osamu can basically hear his twin’s inner voice— this is just payment for the fuck.

You shut your eyes, registering the closing bathroom door. Now that the pleasure has subsided, you realize that you’re just in pain. Your chest and hips, especially, from Atsumu’s relentless teasing and Osamu’s rough handling.

Damn it. You’re meeting with your friends tomorrow, how’re you going to hide these marks on your neck from them?

From the way Osamu had choked you, you’re almost certain there’s going to be a bruise. You do have that leftover, crusty concealer that Atsumu got you a few months back—

“y/n, do you hate me?”

Osamu’s deep voice interrupts your thoughts.

Your mouth instinctively opens, but you hesitate.

No.

“No.”

Because you really don’t. Despite everything they put you through, you can’t bring yourself to hate them.

Osamu lets out a silent sigh of relief, turning back to look at you.

“Do you love me?”

You can’t answer him as quickly this time.

Osamu and Atsumu were your brothers. They had been by your side for all of your childhood.

They were the first ones to teach you how to ride a bike, how to multiply and divide, how to cook rice.

They had been your first love. And even now… you’re relieved they’re with you, not in the bedrooms of other girls.

“I… do,” you admit. Fuck. You’re crazy. You know that. But you do.

Even though you don’t want to admit it, you’re just as twisted as your brothers. You bury your head under the covers as the heat rushes to your face.

“I wanna marry you.” Osamu suddenly announces, ripping back the blanket you’re holding to your face. He examines your blushing cheeks, and reaches down to grab your hand.

Yeah, it’d look much fucking better with a shiny ring. He should look into a jewelry maker first thing tomorrow morning.

“Nope. I already called dibs, ‘Samu,” the blonde haired setter interjects, throwing open the door as if awaiting his cue.

“Like months ago. Actually, years ago.”

Osamu frowns, prepared to retort back that actually, remember that you didn’t even like her when we first met her? You told dad you didn’t want him to marry mom because you didn’t want a sister, you little–

“We’re all Miyas here,” you say, predicting another fight. Despite your tiredness, you can't help but smile.

Yeah, you do love them.

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a/n fun fact: i wrote this while meeting with my business class project group two semesters ago >.< depraved shit FR.. also no final read-through as usual bc i'm literally cringed out by my own writing LOL

#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu smut #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #msby atsumu #atsumu smut #miya osamu #miya twins #osamu smut #miya osamu x reader #miya twins smut

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corvidae-00 · 9 months

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Tsudere /sub touch starved Jax in heat that pretends to hate the reader but does things to secretly be with them x a fem happy but smart Uzadere that loves being in the circus.She loves adventures,animals,cute things,fighting,food ect! lots of energy too but can be pretty insensitive and a little selfish with a little crush on jax. I feel like at first jax would completely reject liking her then he would be extra mean,then Maybe subconsciously know he likes her amd hates the feeling lol. cus he copes by trying to not have feelings and tries to act "tough". its pretty obvious that the reader is in love with him but his dumb ass cant catch on . She gives lots of compliments which makes him flustered and mad ( he is mad bc he thinks nobody likes him that much, he is mean to her to make her go away but it doesn't work ) but he pretends not to care. the reader would definitely confesses first tho. Sorry for such a long request its just that not many people write jax in this sorta way so i had to be detailed lol. also if you don't wanna use female pronouns you can make it non gender ofc 😅tysm for even reading such a long thing! and you don't have to do this at all lr you can switch it up. Anything is VERY appreciated tho😊 also i feel like max would be a massive virgin due to how annoying he is...he definitely a horny bitchless rabbit-

AHHHH! MY FIRST ASK ;0; Thank you!!! And i personally LOvE Jax- like its an issue 0-0 but im so happy to write for him first! your request is amazing and i truly love it! i hope i did it justice!!! i hope you dont mind HCs! if you did want a story just hit me back up in the answer box and ill write a lil something for ya! ;)

MDNI BELOW THE CUT+ Warnings: Smutty smut themes, bottom Jax <3- Cussing, swearing, the norm

The Reader definitely brought light to the Circus, when she first appeared she was the TALK OF THE TENT, everyone was happy to finally have someone around to liven up the place- > besides jax- the little shit made it his sole duty to make sure Reader was the punchline of his jokes or somehow always "in his way" and the Reader often got the butt of the assult. > Jax being Jax when the feelings for reader started to arise- he got scared- a little worried- upset even. More at himself than you but still pretty pissy- this just made the tourment wose oh lord- > Reader found this fun, more ways to annoy and poke and proad at Jax, finding his constant target on the Reader absolutely hilarious > Reader always calling the oblivious rabbit pet names!!! *Toots, Fluff butt, Shnookums (Only because it pissed Jax off and everyone would laugh), babes, Etc Etc, > Jax STILL oblivious to the reader ;0; taking it as her teasing him and pushing him and oh no we cant have that!!!! Jax haaates it. Secretly likes it HATES IT- >Despite the tension between the two Jax would often threaten Caine or sneak the other circus members things of value to be around reader. not knowing why- HE IS MADLY IN LOOOVE he wanted to be around Reader!! SMUT >Jax in heat is something i dont think even he saw coming- like they are digital code- BUT DAMN- > Stuck in his room alone humping a pillow and pulling his ears over his face embarrassed beyond belief at his own actions > Reader was coming to annoy Jax concerned why she didnt see him at breakfast (His favorite meal of the day may i add- >Knocking on his door reader had a shit eating grin "Sleeping in pookie?" She calls through the door only a groan and a loud huff was the response she got >Thats rude. Reader thinks and just assuming he is having one of his man period days- Reader enters his room- and boy is the sight she sees amazing- Jax face down and ass up with a pillow under his hips, face flushed a deep purple and his overalls down to his waist- > Reader and Jax are just staring at eachother with wide eyes >"G-GET OUT!!" "Nah i dont think i will" >Lets just say reader helps the little bunny get the relief he was so looking for- >They dont argue as much anymore-

----------------------------------------------------- THANK YOU FOR READING!!! I hope you enjoyed your request and it was too your liking! im still getting back into writing so its a slow process!! let me know what you think!!! thank you so much!!! <3333

#x reader #jax x reader #tadc #tadc jax #the amazing digital circus #jax

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silverflqmes · 1 year

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໒⦂ 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐂𝐒.

notes. reposted from wp!

genre. fluff + crack

ft. tooru oikawa, yuji terushima, atsumu + osamu miya, shigeru yahaba, keiji akaashi, shoyo hinata

gender neutral! reader

➫ 𝓞𝗜𝗞𝗔𝗪𝗔 𝓣𝗢𝗢𝗥𝗨 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ sleepovers with oikawa are wILD LIKE GIRL GET READY OMG —

⌗ lots of snacks and y'all would bake cookies together after running to like, walmart in pajamas

⌗ cuz you guys have sleepovers so offen you practically have clothes at each other's houses. oikawa has matching alien pajamas for y'all istg — imagine walking into the store at 10pm lookin like a bunch of dorks searchin for cookie mix-

⌗ FACIALS — girl you already know oikawa has all that good shit that just — wOrKs wOnDErs. expensive asf too, but he has money🧍‍♀️

⌗ jamming to boybands; i don't make the rules, he does😻

⌗ sleep? with all the sci-fi movies he wants to watch? honeyyy😪

⌗ cUdDLinG cuz oikawa KNOWS how to hug istg like he's so wARm AND GIRL THOSE ARMS PLEASE-

➫ 𝓣𝗘𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗔 𝓨𝗨𝗝𝗜 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ TIKTOKS — istg yes y'all are makin tiktoks cuz teru do b famous🤾

⌗ pictures too — terushima would prolly also try n vlog your whole sleepover for you guys to watch later and just rEmiNisCe✨ he would totally edit the whole thing too and make it bomb asf

⌗ deadass feel like yuji would bring up the idea of going on omegele to screw w ppl a lil bit —

⌗ the girls would lose their shit and tbh if i saw him, me too😐

⌗ fuck tons of soda n pizza; no sleep🤩

⌗ ngl y'all would definitely pull up on wp or tumblr n make fun of sum nsfw posts

⌗ HE DOES YOUR HAIR HXJDKSKS

➫ 𝓜𝗜𝗬𝗔 𝓣𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗦 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ they're kind of a packaged deal- so you get both unless you wanna sit n watch them argue for 368393 years over you😐

⌗ DUMBASSES START ARGUING OVER THE TOP BUNK HDJSKLSLSKS

⌗ you make them both sleep on the floor BAHHAHAHAHAHAHA as you should.

⌗ they have loads of gaming consoles so i can see y'all playing a couple rounds of smash maybe or pulling up on the wii to play either just dance, mk or mario party

⌗ each time atsumu loses he throws a fit n starts complaining, asking for rematches every five minutes until samu kicks him🧍‍♀️

⌗ OSAMU MAKES DINNER HXJSKSKSL

⌗ at some point after knocking out, you'll wake up to get a glass of water and that's when you catch those two hugging each other in their sleep 😶 you take pictures for the team-

➫ 𝓨𝗔𝗛𝗔𝗕𝗔 𝓢𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗨 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ ahem, for my underrated crackheaded son- Y'ALL WOULD HAVE THE SOFTEST YET MOST CHAOTIC SLEEPOVER EVER

⌗ HE HAS SHIT ON EVERYONE OMG

⌗ too much tea and too little sleep

⌗ because of his horrible strategies when it comes to picking up girls, you end up giving him a few tips, he needs them-

⌗ i feel like earlier in the day, you'd end up going shopping together and take some really pretty pictures later under some flowers

⌗ you guys would totally bake toooo, cream puffs cuz you were teasing him about his hair zhsjskslldl you save some for makki🙈

⌗ deep conversations about future stuff cuz he's worried about the third years leaving and nervous; please hug him-

➫ 𝓐𝗞𝗔𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗜 𝓚𝗘𝗜𝗝𝗜 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ you guys would have such a relaxing sleepover omg

⌗ facials and manicures cuz boy needs to keep his own nails nice n taken care of for those smooth ass sets

⌗ i feel like akaashi would have a pool so bring a bathing suit with you🥰

⌗ i headcanon him being able to play piano tbh, he just seems like that kinda classy guy to me- but ofc really shy and maybe a pinch self conscious abt playing, so he'll reluctantly play something for you but it'll sound sooo good

⌗ deep conversations as well because yk he's mostly close with the third years and well as draining as bokuto can be, he doesn't want him to go, or konoha and the others🙁

⌗ please reassure him hdjsksk he needs it.

⌗ studio ghibli movies🥺 i feel like his favorite would be spirited away cuz the visuals and him empathizing with haku??

➫ 𝓗𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗔 𝓢𝗛𝗢𝗬𝗢 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ he'd probably come to your house and pick you up at the crack of mf dawn to go to morning practice with him first before going to his house😐

⌗ PORK BUNS AND LOADS OF FOOD

⌗ natsu would be home and she prolly wants sum attention🥺🥺 shoyo would get jealous of her for hogging you at some point xhsjsksls

⌗ he tries to bake with you-

⌗ he would talk your ear off all night about stuff which tbh you wouldn't mind cuz he's so mf cute and it's admirable how passionate he is about what he does and his teammates, opponents too; we stan a sweet lil birb who respects everyone💘

⌗ PLEASE PLAY DS W HIM HDSJKS HE HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO PLAY MULTIPLAYER CUZ KENMA AIN'T THERE SOOOO

⌗ he lets you sleep on his bed while he takes the floor because he wants you to be comfortable😭 love you sm sho<3

notes. honestly these could either be platonic or romantic now that i think abt it

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thegamingcatmom · 1 month

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Hello <3 Listen I've started playing re8 and i've had my first encounter with the Dimitrescu family and I am here wondering why the hell didn't I play this sooner so I could obsess over this even sooner, but oh well. So I know you're cooking up a story where they meet the Denalis and I was like walking through the castle and my mind started asking questions. So ofc I imagine you don't wanna give away details of your story because then you wouldn't be able to tease us with lil spoilers and where's the fun in that, right? ;P So instead lemme write down what came to my mind and ask your opinion on that, let's dive into my delulu-land vision XD Tbh is nothing like super elaborated bc you know just rnadom throughts that came to mind so bear with me bc it probably makes 0 sense ok? SO it made me think like in a more kind of "modern" set up, where the Denalis are already vegetarians, they've lived a veeery long life, yk kind of like things are in the Twilight movies/books. In my mind it was like for X reason they were moving from Denali to another place to live, be because the Volturi, bc they had been exposed and therefore they need to gtfo before shit hits the fan (I blame the drones if that's the reason tho) IDK it could be literally any reason, it is unimportant. They somehow end up finding the castle, they meet this vampires who are like super different from them (In my mind I think is cool they can eat human food and sleep and shit eve n though perhaps they don't need it so I'd probs keep that for all vamps in any possible story but that's out of the question XD) and they ofc live very differently from them, the castle ofc doesn't mantain itself, so they have ppl working there for them and they probs dispose of them as soon as they stop being useful, they drink human blood, they make a game out of their hunts and seem to enjoy the pain they inflict before actually drinking the blood. Meanwhile the Denalis started drinking animal blood to stop killing the humans they slept with (With other reasons in the mix too but in the end it was to rpeserve human life) and they've lived away from humans, living in secret and all that shit, like is two complete different worlds they live in. Now all that to make this questions: Say Lady D offered them a place to stay in the castle for reasons unknown bc I hadn't actually thought about it tbh, I don't think she'd mind if they kept their boring vegetarian lifestyle, but they have a choice now to keep it or instead go back to human blood, which honestly seems more tasty and the better option, do you think they'd take it? Would they agree and stay in the castle? Would they leave? Idk f there would be any consequences if they decide to leave though, and in case of staying what about the coven itself? I mean Tanya's the leader, but it matters little I think her title in the castle bc I am not sure if Lady D gives a duck about it honestly, it's her castle after all(?) And final question I promise: How do you think they would adapt to this "new life" in the case they accept Lady D's offer of staying? You think someone might have more of a hard time with it? Will they talk/argue about it among themselves? Consider their options? I have a feeling that Tanya would not take any offer without speaking first to her coven, they are family after all and whatever they do will affect all of them, so yeah. Also this probably makes no sense as I stated before, it was a bunch of random thoughts that I poorly put together so yk don't feel like you gotta answer to all that nonsense XD And I still have not finished the game, just barely started it so idk, perhaps I'm missing some important lore, or something is inadequate, anyway thanks for reading my delulu-bible and for recommending me to go play the game <3 <3 Have a nice day :D

...Oh?

We´re simping for both camps now?

I love how, after having only just reached their section (apparently), this is the result. As in: The Dimis got their sickles hooked in you alright, LMAO.

Can´t say I´m surprised. *cough cough*

Like-

(Simping starts in 3...2...1...)

This was ALL of us when the game was only just coming out and Lady D was revealed in the Maiden Demo. It was madness, lemme tell you. The memes, the art, the fics my god-

The fics were smt else. And they just kept coming. They still do. Lady D destroyed the internet like no other video game character before. People kept dying in game just so they could stick around Castle Dimitrescu for a bit longer (preferably forever).

Like, this was the majority of ppl playing the game:

Lady D: *begins stalking you*

Ethan (you): *heart-eyes*

Lady D: *stalks closer*

Ethan (you): *heart-eyes*

Lady D: *unsheathes her claws*

Ethan (you): *dreamy smile*

Lady D: *takes one giant swipe at you that nearly beheads you*

Ethan (you), barely alive: "...F-Fancy stepping on me too?"

It was truly a time to be alive.

(You should check out some reactions to Lady D on Youtube, especially Markiplier. 💀)

I mean, LISTEN-

I dunno what Capcom was trying to accomplish with The Dimitrescus (they knew exactly what they were doing), but being stalked and hunted down by feral goth ladies and their equally as feral Momma because they thirst for your blood (and hopefully mayhaps other things) is pretty much a dream come true for most ppl. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Capcom, were you even trying? Honestly.

Okay anyhow-

I love your thoughts on this. Especially because it´s a lot more serious than what I originally came up with, lmao. Like, this thing I got cooking rn is pretty much a total crack fic (for now). Yknow, stuff like portals and time travel and whatnot seems entirely possible there, but I haven´t reached that part yet (the explaining part), so it´s still rather unclear how they got to the castle.

Like, it never occured to me that the Denalis might just find the "real" village in Romania (which is where the game is set). But now that I´m reading your thoughts on it, this seems pretty plausible to me. Defo something I can see happening. With that said:

Lemme start by giving some canon info (which hopefully won´t spoil anything for you):

the Dimis aren´t actual vampires

they are what they are because of a parasite aka The Cadou

they need to sustain themselves on human flesh and blood because of it (for survival & to maintain their powers)

Lady D will grow to the point she mutates out of control if she doesn´t (I´ve read that somewhere)

the Daughters are made entirely of flies

those flies will die if exposed to the cold (yet another thing that´s entirely different from Twilight vampires, who can only be fully destroyed through fire)

Lady D has no such "weakness"

the pain they inflict upon their victims is not necessary for feeding

they just enjoy being cruel

they turn their staff into wine at some point

or use them for experiments ("Moroaicǎ")

With all of that said: I totally agree that it´s a clash of two entirely different worlds. But that´s what makes it so interesting.

I also kinda HC that The Dimis see vampires as some kind of role models? In a way? Like, they clearly enjoy this lifestyle (a bit too much), so I feel like meeting some actual vampires - the real deal - would be like meeting a popstar or smt. At least to the daughters. (Dani would swoon.)

Lady D would be a lot more skeptical about it ofc, but there´s no way she would be able to hide her curiosity. I mean, how many beings pose an actual threat to them? Not that many. Which means Lady D would be quite hostile at first. She got her daughters to think of as well, after all. There would be the usual threats of "slice you to ribbons" and such, until she realizes-

There are no ribbons. And there won´t be. Because her claws are actually kinda useless against them.

As are the flies the daughters are made of. There´s no piercing that skin.

That´s never happened before.

That´s when it dawns on them that whatever they´re up against isn´t entirely human. The fact they (the Denalis) lack a heartbeat or the usual warmth is kinda telling as well.

In fact, the Daughters don´t enjoy being near them at all. They´re so cold!

But, you see-

The Daughters might keep their distance (for now).

But Lady D is more than intrigued at this point.

Listen, that woman is a sucker for power. That´s why she´s got the hots for Mother Miranda (MM), after all.

Well that, and because MM is fine af, obv.

(I don´t blame you, Alci.)

Anyway-

If she saw the Denalis wielding their vampiric powers and, yknow, posing an actual challenge for her in terms of brute strength because it´s not every day she meets someone who´s actually able to lift her- (can you imagine?)

Ofc she´s gonna want to get to the bottom of it all. Because she´s also a bit of a nerd, you see. Just like Momma. (They both fine af.) She´s gonna want to study them, write down every little detail in that notebook of hers.

Kate´s power is gonna fill page upon page as Lady D goes completely mad scribbling it all down like-

With that said:

Yes, I defo think Lady D would demand invite them to stay. She´s nothing if not a gracious hostess to those she deems worthy.

As for the Denalis-

Tanya would never make decisions without discussing it with her coven first. Not those that could be life-altering, at least. They'd only stay if everyone agreed to it. And, even then, I'm not sure it would be a permanent stay. I mean-

It's difficult.

I'd say it depends "which" Denalis we're talking. If we take the more deranged ones from my story (The Sisters) then I can defo see them agreeing to a permanent stay in the castle. Human life means next to nothing to them, aside from being their food source ofc. And while they might not agree with everything that's happening in the castle (some of the things going down in the cellar are...tough, even for them), they'd never judge the Dimis for their lifestyle, seeing how they're far from being saints themselves. One as corrupted as the other, I´d say.

If we take the veggie/modern Denalis, on the other hand-

I mean, the sisters killed ppl before. Loads of them probs. Therefore, the Dimis sustaining themselves on human blood and flesh isn't as appalling to them as it would be to your usual human. But it's how they do it (torturing their victims and basically getting the most out of it before they deliver the final blow) that makes them feel...conflicted. Most of their kind (as in: actual vampires) usually don´t draw it out longer than necessary. Mainly because they´ll succumb to their bloodlust almost immediately, sucking their victim dry in a matter of seconds. That (thankfully) doesn´t leave much room for any kind of torture.

With that said-

It´s still difficult, lmao.

I feel like our modern Denalis would defo be intrigued by the Dimitrescus. Then they´d be appalled. Then Lady D comes in with all that charm of hers, laying it on real thick yknow, basically downplaying the things that are happening in that castle full of blood and death. Then the daughters come in with their buzzing personalities. Then the Denalis would be intrigued again. And so on-

And before you know it, years have passed.

That´s the only way I can see our modern Denalis stay in that castle over an extended time period. Cause time works just differently for vampires, yknow. Years are like seconds to them. All one and the same. Doesn´t really matter. Not when you got eternity anyway.

Now, that was pretty much me rambling and fangirling without any kind of order, lol. So lemme try and give some more direct answers:

Would the Denalis switch to human blood during that time?

I think that´s entirely possible. That castle is pretty much filled with human blood - it´s everywhere: In the cellar, in the kitchen, in the storage rooms, in the wine glasses, etc. It lurks around every corner, constantly putting our sisters to the test. It´s like waving a piece (more like a bar) of chocolate in front of someone who´s been living on dry toast. Resisting becomes almost impossible under such conditions.

And the Dimis know that.

Am I suggesting that Lady D and her unruly daughters might try and seduce the Denalis back to human blood by deliberately leaving it out in the open, ripe for the taking?

Why yes, yes I am. That´s totally something the Dimis would do in order to gain numbers (and other things).

Would there be any consequences if the Denalis decided to leave?

As I said before, the Denalis pose an actual threat/challenge to Lady D. Neither her nor her daughters could do much to stop them from leaving, if they decided to do so. Doesn´t mean they wouldn´t try though. Lady D is a narcissist and rejection isn´t something she handles well. Her daughters share that sentiment.

"So you don´t love me?!"

Yup. That´s totally smt Dani would say in that situation. The poor baby.

Anyhow-

The Dimis would probs try to stop them because rolling over just isn´t in their nature. But I´d like to think one of the following things would happen then:

A) The Denalis use their vampiric charm to convince the Dimis to let them go without a fight.

B) Lady D puts a stop to things herself once she realizes the only ones to get hurt during this would be her daughters and herself. (She´d never admit that openly ofc.)

To sum it up:

Even if there were consequences, it´s highly unlikely the Denalis would be affected by them.

Would the Denalis adapt well to their new life? Would they struggle at all?

I think my fangirling pretty much answered that, lmao.

Unhinged Denalis: No problem with adapting. (More like they cba as long as they get their fill.)

Normal (modern) Denalis: Depends on the Dimis´ efforts I´d say. There´d defo be times of struggle and self-doubt. But then there´d also be times of "yknow what, why tf not". It´s a constant back and forth and it really depends on how well the Dimitrescus play their cards.

As for who might struggle the most:

Lemme start by saying Kate would struggle the least. I mean, the struggle would still be there, but she´s never been one to back down from a challenge. She´s also not one to shy away from the unknown - on the contrary: Out of the three of them, Kate is probs the one most likely to go "only one way to find out", YKNOW?? No risk, no fun, and all that. That´s why Cass and her get along so well. Whenever the two of them are together, the whole castle holds its breath.

Tanya would probs feel quite torn because, above all else, she has a duty to fulfill: ensuring the best possible outcome for her coven. So there´d be this constant nagging, telling her that all of this is kinda wrong and that, just mayhaps, it´d be better to haul ass. But then there´s time where she´s actually enjoying herself when she´s having "wine" with Bela, giving each other some advice on how to best handle their younger sibllings and such. That nagging fades for a while then. Until it´s back. But so is Bela. And that nagging fades again. And so on.

Irina would spend most of her time with Dani probs, gushing about finding true love and such. She sees a lot of herself in the youngest Dimitrescu daughter, albeit a lot more...unhinged, lol. They get each other, as crazy as it sounds. It also really helps taking her mind off things, makes her forget what´s going on in that castle. For a while, at least. Until the doubts start creeping back in. Dani notices though, she always does. And she´s always there to manipulate cheer her bestest friend up.

I hope I´ve managed to cover everything. Tbh, that was just me rambling most of the time, hoping it all would make sense along the way, lmao.

...Come to think of it, that´s pretty much my writing style. 💀

Thanks a lot for your ask! I really, really enjoyed that mashup. 🥰💋

Have a great day as well! ❤️

#tumblr asks #twilight #the twilight saga #the denalis #denali coven #tanya denali #kate denali #irina denali #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #house dimitrescu #the dimitrescus #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu

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distinguisheddwarffriend · 6 months

Text

TH fic idea No. 2 (yes I have a weakness for MGiME sue me):

OFC used to pray to the Valar during her life (not believing in them at all but using them like a kind of spoken diary, reasoning that everyone is allowed to pick their own gods & they are just as likely to be real as the Christian one for example).

Then she dies.

And wakes up in Valinor meeting those of the Valar She has prayed to the most.

And they're like "well no idea what to do with you tbh guess you're one of ours now do you want cookies or sth?"

And she is like "bro are you for real this is brilliant I want to learn this and that and also..... "

And she hangs out with Yavannah and Oröme and Vana but mainly Aulë cus, yk, dwarves.

And he is like "sooo do you wanna join the halls of waiting?"

And she's like "idk lemme take a look" and there is Fili/Kili/Thorin whoever you prefer, hammering away at an anvil, and she's like NOOOOO fuck they already ded? Boooooh!"

And Mahal's like "yeah he's got trouble settling, feeling like he did not accomplish what he was supposed to" and she's like "well MAYBE that's because thats the TRUTH?!?!"

And the dwarves cannot really see her, she's more like a spectre with a distorted face merging with her background and a voice, but Fili/Kili/Thorin noticed her when she at one point breaks something in his forge while arguing with Mahal about how they deserve a second chance and while Fili/Kili/Thorin listen to how Mahal goes on about "we cannot disturb the music" she shouts "this music sucks anyway atm! Wouldn't hurt to change it! It's CLEAR some tunes are missing!"

And Mahal's like"wdym you HEAR the music?"

And she's like "well, yeah? And lemme tell you it can give ya a real headache at times."

Then she leaves saying that she's gonna bully Eru to give the Durins a second chance and Fili/Kili/Thorin, Who has been listening to that conversation, are like "ehem, Mahal, dear creator, am I high?" And he shortly explains about who the other voice was.

Well after some time OFC gets Eru to agree, and they take weeks to argue about the particularities and Option A is they end up with Fili/Kili/Thorin, Who has listened and therefor knows about what she's up to, to keep his memories of the quest while being sent back, but CANNOT disclose what he knows or how. Or something something bad will happen.

And OFC is like on the one hand "nice, hot dwarves and heroics" but then there are also orcs, the ring, no plumbing.... But whatever she'll make the best out of it.

So OFC argues that that's kinda harsh and convinces Dru to let her join them.

Option B and Eru's growing tired of her and is like "you know what? You can hear if the music starts to fuck up. You go down there as well! Be their personal Gandalf or whatever!" And the chosen Durin remembers os doesn't, or maybe just some vague stuff in dreams, I don't really care. But with this option there is nothing stopping them from sharing their knowledge.

She arrives quite literally at Gandalf's feet, explains stuff to him, and their first order of business is meeting up with Galadriel, Elrond and Glorfindel (she refuses to explain yet while she does NOT want Saruman involved, unsure if he ends up joining anyway no matter what she wants) and insists on freeing Thrain from Dol Goldur ASAP (using mostly book canon for this fic obv) so she has someone that can prove her story and give her some connections & shit.

OFC, with her fighting experience being drunk arm wrestling and nothing more, remains behind in Eryn Lasgalen while Legolas joins the aforementioned group in driving out Sauron.

Thrain is first treated in the Woodland Realm for the worst injuries, and during that time talks Some Shit through with Thranduil because, yk, they'll need him and his army later on.

Then they move to Rivendell, where Thrain heals and OFC gets SOME training (no, NOT Mary-Sue-ish, it takes YEARS to become properly adept at fighting, she has a few WEEKS, meaning she manages not to drop her sword any longer and shoot in the planned direction but THAT'S IT), then she has some kind of fight with Someone and leaves with some rangers for Ered Luin, Gandalf promising to deliver Thrain to his family as soon as he's fully healed.

OFC has been turned into a dwarf btw, INCLUDING the beard! In Ered Luin she finds a job at a tavern for starters and waits for either Thrain's arrival or Fili/Kili/Thorin to 'remember' (meaning his consciousness being sent back in time), because OFC herself arrived about a year before the start of the quest.

At one point, Fili/Kili/Thorin being regulars at her tavern, she recognises a change in their demeanor and introduces herself as *****(whatever name she had in Valinor) and they get to talking, F/K/T being SO glad to FINALLY having someone to talk about what happened.

They start hashing out the beginnings of a plan, but have to be careful for now so as to no one else picks up on their knowledge. OFC promises that *someone* (she totally is mysterious on purpose) will soon show up and help in that department.

One night, Gandalf arrives with Thrain, Thorin cries, Dìs faints, Fili & Kili get drinks ( and someone of course gets OFC) and joined by Balin & Dwalin the family celebrates and learns about Thrain & OFC's knowledge and they begin to form A Plan TM.

And then, there is plot I have no idea for.

#the hobbit #tolkien #middle earth #fili and kili #fili durin #thorin oakenshield #the hobbit fanfiction #fíli #kili durin #kíli #thrain #gandalf #galadriel #elrond #saruman #glorfindel #rivendell #dol guldur #ered luin

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anti-endo-safe-space · 3 months

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Hey, I want to preface this by saying I'm really sorry I haven't sent an ask in a while and I hope you're okay

I'm also sorry that this is the ask I end up sending after so long

Tw // ableism / "narc abuse" / using narcissist as a bad word ((only mentions I guess?? I don't know))

I just got an ask from someone who claims to have been abused by a narcissistic parent. They have said they don't really understand why narc abuse is a bad term I guess. Or they said they see the points on both sides. But they've also said Narcissists have a specific kind of abuse or traits that are only seen in their kind of abuse which is so frustrating and then they said that they see the argument against narc abuse as "I don't like this so you have to stop because I'm better than you".. and it's so fucking annoying because I literally had a rant about why narc abuse is bad in one of my recent posts (which I'm assuming they read) and that was NOT at all a point there.

It's so annoying but they've also said they're genuinely confused and want help but I don't think I can "help" them without becoming aggressive because this shit is genuinely triggering me ((I might already be triggered because I've been trying to find screenshots of endos harassing anti endos to prove a point for a post I'm making on @/antimisinfo but yeah, this has made it worse)) and idk.

I don't want to be rude or mean to them because they seem genuinely curious but I can't read that ask without wanting to cry, without getting angry. I haven't even read it completely, I skimmed through it and I just feel so fucking frustrating and stressed and.. idk.

I don't know what to do here

- AEV / antiendovents

Hey, no sorries AEV. I'm happy to listen anytime to anything.

Tw: Talk of abuse

Wanna start by saying that the shit the anon said is, and I hate to say it, utter bs. Anyone can use any sort of abuse. There's not things only narcs can do abuse wise. Even a google search just shows that they manipulate and gaslight and lie, aka what emotional/verbal/mental abuse is!!!

Don't doubt that the person was abused but narc abuse does NOT exist. If you'd like, we're offering to find some sort of way to help you respond to it, even if it's in a DM sharing the ask so we can provide a potential response (/nf ofc!! Just saying that as an example)

Our honest best advice is just delete it. You've made it known on AEV that narc abuse isn't real. They should be willing to just listen instead of arguing like that.

If there's anything we can do to help, please tell us.

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pekodayz · 1 year

Text

aini and oso whatever thing i made at 3am (rubbing my temples and sobbing)

this was just me typing on my phone straight thru, no looking back so it's gonna sound not profresh duhhh . ok don't whateves dont look at me i like odd platonic odd relationships

I feel like aini looks at oso as someone she holds near and dear to her. Yeah she doesn’t wanna pursue a relationship with him but the feeling of being around him makes her feel a bit better about herself, way better even. She has always seen her peers get some sort of love and affection as in like flirtatious comments being thrown at them and such. But aini has never..been asked out or even approached at the idea. She brushed it off as petty human nonsense. but deep down, she’s hurting a bit. She doesn’t care for relationships, but the mere thought of not being wanted or just even the slightest bit of fascination…makes her question herself. Am I deem-able? I shouldn’t care for this…but, I really wish someone would at least tell me how they feel about me. Yes she’s annoying and obnoxious, but she does that to cover up her true feelings….the feelings that shape her to be like this. Though I did say “true feelings”, Aini’s out-spoken part of her is real, I mean she’s not faking it. She doesn’t have a preferred liking to a gender, honestly she’s ace. She’s just starved of a specific type of attention. While she does get called cute by others, she just wants to have some sort of feeling of “huh, wow…we treat each other like absolute animals, but they care about me…” (we know who she’s referring to, right) Okay well aini does get the love and attention from molly and Usiuii. But yknow, that’s bff stuff, ofc ! They love each other so so so much!!! Aini has seen the compliments get thrown at her other 2 friends. She wonders in a way like hm…am I having internal conflict? No, that’s ridiculous…feeble minded words. It’s confusing for aini because she feels guilt for thinking like this. The human race is nothing but…she stops herself there…this chuni brain gets put on hold as she begins to question her own self. I wish I was held by someone..just for a mere moment would be nice. Disgusting, an arm around me…stupid. Aini doesn’t want to be clingy to her dearest friends, so she just does her little tsun act and just shove them off like ough get away from ME. Though she has her weak moments and hopes that they’ll notice (they do) and react accordingly.

Aini gets the cartoonish jealously when she sees others get that stupid human affection…then she pouts about it for a while. Gross…she thinks. Ok now for when she does have her moments with O. She sees him as a rival of some sorts..though she knows she has the one-up. (A job, surprisingly better personality…) Though, I suppose their bickering and arguing does end up with them just sitting there. Why are we yelling so much…couldn’t we just get to know each other more? No? Aini ponders that thought a little, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try and get to know him more. He does look like he cares. They’re both hard to read as to the weird repress thing aini does and oso’s not-showing-what the hell-is wrong with him mentality.

She..cares about him, idiotic disgusting low-life of a human..someone she cares for. Unbelievable. People like him should be ignored. But that would be a tad bit rude now wouldnt it. (Look they’ve been hanging out for a while now) The company that aini has dealt with..more so just going to up him or him going up to her, starting something between them. That strengthened whatever kind of friendship this is between them.

Aini wonders if oso cares about her too. (Though she hasnt shown and prob will extremely seldomly show those emotions as well) He does ofc, but for someone as annoying as her, and for someone as idiotic as him…he’s not gonna admit that either. I dunno. Aini would never beat the living shit out of Usiuii and molly even though molly has to put aini and Usiuii in their places from time to time. (aini and usiuii also fight..but not to extreme lengths, just aggressive playful <3) So seeing osomatsu and how he is towards her makes things a lot more reasonable as to beat the shit out of him (and vice versa for him) Aini doesn’t see a relationship in her future, but having a platonic whatever-this-is with osomatsu would be nice. umm marriage scares her and the thought of a relationship is crazy too. Bound for eternity (is what she thinks) is frightening. Even tho he’s osomatsu, she wouldn’t mind dealing with him forever. Like she would prob be super happy knowing someone is more annoying than her, telling him that out loud is the norm. but her true feelings would just make her embarrassed to admit.

Gagging at these thoughts but aini puts a little too much thought in herself, seeing how she’s like super boisterous and loud when she wants to be. It gets to the point where she overthinks the stupid things and ends up riled up, but ends up calming down. Okay gagging fr fr but as much as she wants to avoid something like this, aini really wants someone to just like uhhhhhh yknow .hold her. A pathetic sub-human man. Platonic cuddling exists, yeah????? Like they both get super embarrassed but yknow it’s nice to have someone there..

I stated this a long time ago (i gotta find it and rb it) but aini has a thing where she just gets incredibly clingy when she gets sleepy. I suppose after her and oso have their stupid dumb arguments, they’re like walking together. Aini glancing over at him multiple times and he’s just yknow .yeah.. So they gradually step closer and closer to each other, and oso let’s her cling onto his arm or smth (ew ) cuddling up on him and shit. DISGUSTING 😭 they’re both sweating, blushing and freaking out btw. bc like that’s so foreign for the both of them..idkkkk smth as intimate as this (i am aware that cuddling isn’t like sex but yeah it still sets off the same vibe to me LEVA EME ALONE) is so woaughhhh.. hey it’s 331 am.

Ok ok I need to rb like the stuff abt aini bc this is just her inner dwellings. (SHES STILL CHUNI ONE TOOTH POUTY GUN OKAYY) Someone she only opens up to a select few. Unfortunately, osomatsu is one of them. She knows he wouldn’t tell anyone ..so I suppose ITS FINE. like yeah he’s fucking oughhh but he would share such vulnerable moments between them like wtf..

#oughhh okay if u read it thanks whateves WHWATEV #i just needed to get this out eventually.#i have a lot more but let's just put this out first lol....ughh #I HAD NO IDEA I TYPED ALL OF THIS SO QUICKLY???? phones do wonders tbh #a&o #ppp

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bonesandthebees · 8 months

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BEE IM GOING INSANE THATS SO COOL WHATHEUFKCOGUHOGUHGOGHOUGHOGUHGOASDFJIASLDKF !!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING MAN :(((

genuinely makes my day to hear about aus even if it will never be written!! like this is GENUINELY SO COOL??? IM SOOO GIDDY RN EUEUEUEEEUUEU

fanning my face and flapping my hands rn THIS IS SOOOO !!!!!!!!! i love all of the character backstories sm <33 going insane over sandduo going insane over crimeboys goingg insane OVER NIKI AND JACKKK OGOGHOGOHJK and ofc. Tntduo my loves. that's such a smart idea holyshittttt tntduo as detective partners WOULD LITERALLYYYYY SLAP SO BAD THEY R BOTH SO SMART AND WELL SPOKEN AND THE TENSION WOULD BE MWAH CHEFS KISS

also ooohhh polar night phenomenon is so cool and interesting :000 that just reminds me of this one video i just watched on antarctica. learned a lot of disturbing shit about antarctica LMAO including polar madness

i feel the struggle so bad, wishing u luck either way bee o777 and ty for sharing !!!!!!! <333

aaaa thank you icy!!! I'm glad you like hearing about my au ideas even if I never get around to writing them. I do love brainstorming and rambling about things like these

god yeah tntduo as detective partners would go so hard. they bounce off of each other so well and being forced to work together and combine their intellect even if they're arguing the whole time just makes so much sense.

polar night is so interesting!! of course it's also accompanied by the midnight sun phenomenon but I don't find that as interesting as polar night lol. I would love to be able to visit Svalbard at one point during the polar night, especially to see the northern lights

idk what polar madness is but I don't think I wanna know

#ask #icyfox17 #au ramblings

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songmingisthighs · 2 years

Text

I have resurfaced from hanging out with cthulhu

nahh jk it's been a bad 3-4 days

but i'm gonna rant about what happened

I had an "argument" with someone and that "argument" caused a physical reaction (me crying obvi) that triggered a whole issue with my parents (esp my mom) which then triggered a behaviour most of you wouldn't approve of. I couldn't sleep until 10 am the next day and after i epke up, I spent the rest of the day just crying in bed, trying to calm myself down, but basically chilling in my depression hole while thinking or planning on how i can talk to the person i "argued" with bc i wanna talk like rational adults. but then the next day, i woke up to a hate message from the person i "argued" with and i was being blamed for something i had NOTHING to do nor do i have control of and then the argument continued while i was still having a concussion but this time another person dmed me and started a whole "you put yourself in a situation you're not supposed to be in". and also, i was put on an anon blast with accusatory statements but without the explanation of what happened or even my side of the story and that painted me as the WORST type of person/friend ever. and that led me to a whole new level of depression and thoughts a lot of you would be worried about like you'd call the cops on me or smth. thankfully i had enough sense to seek help from a friend and we vced and she kinda talked me down and talked some sense into me. and kinda made me feel understood and supported because i legit blamed myself for the whole issue, thinking that maybe those two people were right, but apparently my side was totally valid and understandable considering the circumstance. bc crazy part is, this whole "argument" was based on a pattern this person does that in the past had caused two communities to completely implode and revealed the other parties as crazy ass bitches bc of the drama they created. I'm just trying to hold onto the little amount of friends i have made bc i don't make a lot of friends bc it's hard for me.

initially i had such a bad breakdown and meltdown because of like 20000 stress piling on me with no support and my parents making everything worse. but when i woke up to the hate message and accusation and the my partner > you thing, it kinda truly broke my heart and broke the trust i made on friends or having friends. I spent years building that trust only for it to be broken down in one easy swing

in conclusion, i'm dealing with a sans!hwa situation (not completely ofc) and yes i'm (y/n) in this scenario and the two people i seek counsel from are sans!woosan

no bc how are you supposed to function after being told "that's my partner, ofc i'm gonna side with her" from your (maybe to them it's former at this point) best friend ??? and the other person just wanted me to drop it just because while i've been carrying my burden and pain while they happily pushed all the blame on me

truly i should've been worried when my ex started making sense

anyways that's the gist of the shit i'm dealing with. have y'all missed my socially awkward crazy ass self ???

#smt tmi

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grungeeuvu · 11 months

Note

honestly i wanna say 0-44 for the nosy anon thing but if you are not bothered to do that then i request 44, 39, 37, 33, 29, 6 (if you're comfortable answering these ofc!)

I did them all for you, anon!!! Every single question is answered under the cut :DD

0: I think I'm 5'3?

1: never ask a lady her age!!

2: 5 1/2 (UK standard)

3: Nope and I'm not planning to

4: Nope and I never even want to try

5: I do not take any drugs

6: fifteen or sixteen because I've got a very round face 😭

7: nnnnnope!!

8: I do often think about to tattoos I'd like but I never follow through lol - I'd like a dragon somewhere tho :)) a small one

9: nnnnnope!!

10: I keep meaning to get my ears pierced but I forget 😭

11: my online best friend is either @astrowaffles or my friend Eren on discord

12: takennnnnn <3 (yesterday was our one year anniversary, actually :D)

13: that is a secret lol

14: Men 💪

15: my favourite film is probably How To Train Your Dragon (1)!! I know the entire scirpt lol

16: I'll love you if you let me talk about specific fixations - I often fixate in my fanfics or certain characters really badly. If you talk to me about my ramblings, I'm never leaving lol

17: I miss my grandparents

18: this one's a long story but TL:DR I made friends with a very bad person. Best way to put it is I was isolated from others a year before Covid even struck haha. I won't go too into details, since it might be too triggering

19: I have a wickedly sharp sense of humour and I love making morally inappropriate jokes

20: I hate how two-faced I can be, and I hate my ADHD

21: I love that my naturally long and white nails get mistaken for acrylics at first glance

22: I really want to be an author and tell all my stories in every possible medium

23: I have one sister and we've got an amazing relationship :)) we're very close.

24: my dad is great but gets angry very easily. My mum and I used to argue frequently but then we suddenly just stopped and now typically get along

25: just walking and talking somewhere with nice things to look at :))

26: blind optimism. I'll just think you're an idiot

27: short hair, my height, and with a charming Scottish accent

28: short, very skinny, hook nose, black hair with bangs, cut just past the shoulders, and a wide stare

29: ......I wanted them to think I was cool and interesting TT-TT

30: I hate all the independence the teachers expect us to have - I suffer a lot from it

31: "Oh gods that's early 😭😭" - sent to my partner

32: being humiliated or looked down on just makes me feel like shit

33: compliments on my writing or art, usually :))

34: when they're friendly tbh

35: when they're fictional, from anime, and look like women 💪💪 (in seriousness, tho, I always trust a man who has a bright smile or cuddly disposition)

36: in the countryside of either the UK or Japan

37: I don't like my face a lot haha - I typically black it out in photos even when sending them to friends irl

38: an author-actress-artist!! Tripl threat lol

39: Vanilla

40: I wish I was Mu Qing from TGCF icl (I'll carry the trauma just to be super pretty)

41: I wanna be in my bed lol

42: a slice of red velvet cake

43: no one comes to mind lol

44: Charles Darwin married his cousin

#anon my beloved #ask game #this was fun icl lol

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writinandcrying · 2 years

Note

I'd like a Match Up if you wanna! .o. Preferably for Rise but I'm familiar with every TMNT verse starting at '03 and forward if u thought of any others.

I'm just a gay/demisexual (a guy match plz!) demiguy (he/they) who's kinda short(?) I'm 5'5" at most but I haven't checked in a few years ngl. Appearance wise I shift between pastel or alt stuff is all.

I'm an ENTP and 9w1! I have a lot of trouble properly expressing or understanding emotions due to my Autism but I try to battle that by being blunt and asking questions! I'm also constantly stuck battling between people pleasing and my anger issues that make me wanna snap. To kinda combat that my anger is now p much pointed at myself so I don't hurt anyone or their feelings. But I'm trying to better myself with the "Do No Harm but Take No Shit" mindset. I generally make myself do my usual "im the funny friend" routine, but that lead to a lot of ppl assuming I'm stupid, so I'm trying to find a balance between that and showing other sides of myself :') I show my love through Physical Touch and Acts of Service! And I think I respond well to all Love Languages? Except I can be bad at accepting gifts bc of a dumb inner voice going "Oh so u manipulated them I to giving u smth" ...oop. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ahh I really like Animation, Horror, and Comedy shows/movies, especially analyzing them. I kind of want kids in the future? I'd be more willing if I trusted my partner with my Lows (hopefully they trust me with theirs too ofc) or if I could skip the baby part tbh. I really enjoy baking, reading, and video games, but I like physical activities when there's a sort of clear goal? Like playing Volleyball or Soccer, but not just a general run or jog. But I'd love to travel the world in moderation too, I just want to make sure there's always a great place to come back to.

In my platonic and romantic relationships I can be frustrating bc I tend to bottle stuff up so I don't bother anyone. If I felt comfy enough and knew I didn't have to worry about my Big Fear(tm) of Abandonment then I would slowly get better at talking about things. I'm also really forgetful when it comes to my own things, like forgetting to eat, drink, or sleep or if there was anything I needed/wanted to do.. I think the only pet peeves I have is if I feel Not Heard or listened to? Or just Disregarded? I've been told with how I analyze situations but focus on emotions help others when they're in their worst moments? Like helping calm my little brother down from when angry or helping my mom or friends out of their depressive moments.

Thank you for your time! <3

hi there! sure thing <3 ill go towards rottmnt cuz it has literally consumed 70% of my brain lately lmao i match you with...

Mikey!

Honestly i can see both of you helping each other out into maturing and personal growth, Mikey knows he's clever and also still learning along the way, don't even consider yourself a bother into asking him questions cuz he loves to answer them, and if he doesn't know something, he can just asks his brothers!

Dr. Feelings make frequent visits in your hangouts, he constantly reminds you to unwind and has relaxing exercises if he notices you are bottling too much, and if someone ever tries to take advantage of your "people pleasing taste" Doctor Delicate Touch will also show up to yell tell the person to bug off

he understands the feeling of only being seen in "one light"- all mikey's (i mean in any version) suffer from youngest sibling syndrome - struggling with not being taken seriously, so he does gives you extra attention in everything you say, do, your feelings, thoughts, and if you mean business, so does he.

Honestly for Rottmnt Mikey i think he enjoys all love languages as well lmao, his top 3 are def words of affirmation, physical touch and quality time, he loves gifting you stuff as well, but if you ever mention those "oh i manipulated them into giving me these" thoughts he will fight /argue with you, like, every-time. He doesn't really get it, he tries to be as gentle as possible with your feelings, but on this topic things might escalate, he really likes you and wants to show it as well!

he ADORES that you like animation and horror too!! i headcanon that later on Mikey becomes a fan of horror/thriller movies and video games, everyone @ the lair gets scared to watch/play with him so he's more than thrilled to play and hangout with you, Mikey never really thought much about volley or soccer, but after meeting you he gets so addicted to it, even start to watch volleyball matches (specially woman league cuz they are the best mwah mwah chef kiss)

Mikey knows its hard for you to open up, so when you finally feel comfortable to, all eyes and ears on you, you are the main priority at the moment. He begins to notice you sometimes go non-verbal lke his brother Donnie (Canonically diagnosed with autism) so he knows how what to do to make you feel better or more comfortable depending on the situation

overall: your relationship is compassionate, full with hugs, kisses, snuggles (he loves to shower you with affection fr fr) and loads of fun dates! lucky you!

hope you liked it! match ups are closed for now

#finally had some free time to do one hehe #maybe later today will post more!!!!!#rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt fandom #tmnt match up #rottmnt match up #giulia writes

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commanderquinn · 1 year

Text

Good Space Chapter 3: Hey Gringo

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

—

warnings: ayyy!! none this time!! unless you wanna count Highly Disrespectful Thoughts ❤️ tho!!! the flashbacks are shuri, heads up for anyone who is a big baby (like me) and still crying over WF. also (shocker) bucko angst/panic attacks

song: it KALEO time!! istg there are golden oldies and hippie classics on this intended playlist, we just havent gotten to them yet. this choice is mega self-indulgent on my end ngl, buuuuut thats the whole fic in general lbr (side note: every time i write Angy Ava, i want you to imagine the vocal intensity of jefferson airplane’s lead singer, grace slick)

the timing of this chapter could NOT have been better with the probably-russian hackers knocking out ao3 that long. i mean it dude, im pretty sure the universe had a good chuckle over this one bc i sure as shit had to sit here and go “youre pullin my leg bud”

also now feels like a good time to mention, for absolutely no reason in particular (definitely not bc of Bucky being a Huge Simp this chapter), that i hc bucky as a dom with service top leanings. i just didnt wanna give the impression that reader is dom for this and accidentally get anyones hopes up with no payoff. i try to avoid that as much as i can bc god knows i drop Big Honkers on y’all every damn chapter, id hate for you to get all the way to the end of this and not get your cookie, y’know? (i am, ofc, down to write mega sub bucky for smut-shot requests)

also remember when i mentioned giving ava a HANDFUL of physical details for writing fuel? 🌝 (ur gonna think im funny rlly soon, dw)

anyways if you dont have adhd, good luck and god speed with the idiots thinkin abt each other in this chapter ❤️ im so sorry in advance 🥺😔

—

Febuary 17th, 2015

"Good morning, Sh—"

"Have you left your worthless husband yet?" Shuri impatiently taps a finger against her elbow, where her arms are crossed over her chest.

She watches Ava sigh on the other end of the vidcall. The woman looks too tired. She needs rest. Shuri wants to stab Alec all over again. She's going to make a new, self-lacing, possibly electrified dagger just for the occasion. "I know you're just trying to—"

"We can come to get you. I will send T'Challa. You must promise me that you will have him get me something from Washington." Shuri raises a stern finger, pointing it directly at the camera. "Do not let him pick it out himself—"

"Shuri, honey, I love you with all my heart, but please—"

"I want you to pick it. The furniture in your office is ridiculous; I want something like that."

A smile far too small pulls at the corners of Ava's lips. Her smile used to move freely, and it will do so again if Shuri has any say in the matter. Which she does. "Well, thank you, I work very hard to keep it ridiculous. Now—"

"It will make me think of you whenever you are not around to make fun of my brother with me. My mother will get the lawyers you need to start your divorce—"

"I—sweetheart, please, it's been a very long night—"

"It is the afternoon where you are. You have not even had breakfast, have you? Of course not. You are busy doing the work while Alec—"

"Shuri!" Ava puts a hand over her eyes and takes an unsteady breath in. "I'm sorry. This is—it's been a long night. I didn't mean to yell at you—"

"You need to start yelling much more, Ava. Aim it at your worthless husband while you tell him you are leaving," Shuri argues, entirely fed up with how the doctor allows the spineless dickhead to make her miserable. "T'challa will remove him for you while you stay here with us."

Alec—she refuses to call him Ryder; the man does not deserve to have taken the doctor's name—leans into the camera view, his expression bored. Dismissive. Shuri wants to smash his wrinkling, greasy face in with her fist. "While I appreciate the offer, your majesty, my wife and I can handle our private life alone."

Shuri glares back at him, one of her eyebrows hiked as far up as she can comfortably get it. "Do you really think being aware of your presence on this call will deter me from reminding my friend that you are a demon?" She looks pointedly at Ava, who's still covering her eyes. "He is a demon. A pasty, rude demon."

"Alec is going to shut the fuck up now, I promise." The fingers over Ava's eyes pull in until she's pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. She looks as if she's fighting off a migraine. She probably is. And it is Alec's fault. "That way, we can get this over with, and I can finally get some sleep—"

"Which you need and are not getting enough of." The words slip out before Shuri can stop them.

Ava's shoulders deflate slightly. Her hand drops, and she attempts another smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making Shuri feel a pang of guilt. "No, I'm not. But I will, just as soon as we finish the basic adaptation matrix. I promise."

Ava always encourages her to speak her mind, no matter what. Sometimes it gets her into trouble. She is not looking to berate her favorite Canadian; she loves leaving the vidcomm between their labs on. The open connection is a comforting window into the outside, one that lets Shrui indulge in any question or raving that passes through her mind.

Alec is a poison in her friend's life, and Shuri will not back down from reminding her of that. But mother and Nakia have sat with her over this, explaining that sometimes, an abused heart will cling to what hurts it. They have to be supportive while Ava works through this. She's getting there. Just not nearly fast enough for Shuri's patience.

Father has been reminding them all that Alec is a risk, given what he knows. Trusting Ava means trusting her for the duration, and they can't go back now. If she says she is handling the issue of separating the man from her work, they have to allow her room to do that. But T'Challa has been ordered to keep close, or at the very least, ready to go.

As much as she despises Alec, Shuri does not wish to see Ava hurt in this. Not any more than necessary. She is also not interested in trying to control her friend the way her mother sometimes tries to control her. It is infuriating.

So, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she lets some of the fight leave her. For the sake of Ava, not the pasty demon. "I have the latest build ready for transfer."

"You're sure you've secured the connection on your end?" Alec has the audacity to question, even outside of the frame. "I'm not interested in spending my week chasing traces of this—"

"Do I look as if I will hesitate to strike you, colonizer?!"

—

"I'm just saying, Humpty Dumpty."

"Fuck off," Bucky wheezes at the billionaire, compressing the towel he grabbed from his new medkit against his ribs. Why he expected to make it through his first mission back without having to crack it open, he's not entirely sure now that he's sitting in the hindsight. Getting shot today was, if he's honest with himself, entirely predictable. It's his luck, after all.

"We let you out of the house again for five minutes, and you've already broken yourself." Tony shakes his head as he tsk's, making Bucky roll his eyes lazily. "What's Ryder going to think? If you keep this up, you'll give the woman a complex about draining your mojo."

"She's going to think I throw myself in front of armor-piercing rounds for idiots that don't notice when they're being shot at." The mention of Ava brings the doctor's smiling face to the forefront of his mind. Bucky leans back against the Quinjet's co-pilot seat, letting his eyes fall closed.

He could take care of this latest injury himself. That's what he usually does. Thanks to the serum, all he has to do is keep the wound clean for a few hours while his body stitches itself back together. Nothing's broken, and he'd be in much more pain if anything were punctured. Hell, he'd probably be dead already. The fix for this is so easy it'll practically handle itself.

"You always get so cranky after you've played the hero." He hears Tony kick his feet up on the Quinjet's main controls. "Take a breather. Maybe a bow or two. Believe it or not, it's possible to accept a compliment now and then."

"Grandstand more often, got it."

Ava's probably going to hear about today's incident now that Bucky thinks about it. If anything, Steve's going to make sure of it. He doubts she'd guilt him for not being comfortable with an optional trip to medical. They've been having more conversations about boundaries and comfort, and she's been unwaveringly supportive of him moving at his own pace.

"You don't have to grandstand, you gigantic baby," Natasha chides from between the chairs. Her hand smacks against his shoulder, making Bucky grunt softly. "A whole new world is going to open up for you when you relearn to accept praise."

Tony snorts, long and loud. "Has he reached that stage of modern education yet?"

"I reached that stage of education before you were born, Stark." Bucky's not territorial over his reputation anymore; those days are long since passed. The grand majority of his mojo got left in the 40s. He's just tired of Tony's shit. That's all it is.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Ava might feel bad that he didn't come to her for something like this. He doesn't... want that. He doesn't want her thinking that he doesn't welcome her help or that he doesn't trust it. He... he does. He doesn't just appreciate having the option; he enjoys it. The new routine is a breeze, and his neck feels better than it ever has. At least that he can remember.

"I'm confused," Tony mumbles around a mouthful of snacks. The man never stops eating. "Are we talking about your no-no years, or did you and Rogers hit up underground bars before Germany?"

"I know all his secrets from the vanilla days; they never went to any of the fun ones," Natasha confirms. It's not like Bucky was going to take the verbal bait anyways. Steve still falls for it regularly.

"I like how you don't deny having the rest of the answer; I feel like it tells me all I can tolerate about the icicles when it comes to this. That's my favorite part about you, Romanoff. You know when I don't need to know, you know?"

His dumbass friends might as well be background noise with Bucky's mind this firmly in the memory of Ava's office. She's been so good to him, especially over this last week while she pushed through all the red tape for him. He'd been expecting it to take an eternity of hounding Steve all by his lonesome, but she got him back in the field in under two weeks. His best friend had actually been kind of pissy about it behind closed doors. For Bucky, it was like getting sprinkles on top of his cake.

He's been thinking about getting flowers delivered to her lab for the trouble. It feels like too much whenever his thumb hovers over the confirmation button. He's reached the part of staring at the order details four times.

"I'm pretty sure your country doesn't appreciate it as much as you do. They tend to fight cold wars over it."

"Well, yeah, but our country—you see what I did there? That was a pretty funny communism joke. And it works as a reminder for both of us that you're actually an American citizen these days; isn't that wild? Back to the point here, our country fights wars over stuff we do ourselves all the time, so that doesn't feel like a fair reason to dismiss our friendship."

The doctor's forcing him to expand his music library. Her taste there is as scattered as her taste in movies, but she's got some leading themes he's been able to pin down. The 60s and 70s are huge for her, expectedly, and she's got a lot of nostalgia over the 90s. Paige keeps her versed in all things pop, folk, and country, according to her.

"If I start referring to the US as my country, you people will expect me to do things like register to vote. Or put up wallpaper."

"I don't think anyone's expecting you to be legally allowed to do that. The voting thing, not the wallpaper. In most states. For multiple reasons. Although, the wallpaper might be a good call."

Ava invited him to their absurdly large archive of playlists during his second session. The ones Paige curates are nothing but insanity. Not one of them makes a lick of sense. Bucky decided that he should have expected that, given her Energizer Bunny reputation. Ava's are less scattered; more organized. Soothing for his mind to digest. He's been using them as workout music ever since. And driving music. And general background noise.

"I don't think I'd know where to start buying wallpaper. Do you even want me putting that shit on your expensive building?"

"Not really, but the idea of walking in on you rolling paste on the living room walls is worth anything it could take to fix them later."

God, she's funny, too. He could listen to the woman's awful, soul-crushing puns and subsequent cackling for hours. He'll never say that to her face, not for as long as he lives, but they've made him feel lighter every morning that he's gone to let her work him over. He's already stolen two of them to torture Sam with. Another thing he's not going to tell her.

"Maybe I should start smaller. Bruce keeps suggesting a car that has legal registration."

"Heeey, that could work. You'll be signing up for mailing lists and bitching about state tax in no time. You know what?" He hears Tony snap his fingers. "We should get you a houseplant. Work you up to having a fish or something."

Alright. Maybe he'll go to Ava. He doesn't want her to think he's trying to blow off her expertise again. Or that he's avoiding her. He's not; he really does like hanging out in her office. Even if it's technically a medical appointment. He's a lot more eager to visit her than his therapists, that's for sure.

"I am not paying taxes," Natasha scoffs. "If you think I'm tying a legal address to my name, you're out of your fucking mind. Moreso than usual."

"You don't think you'd enjoy having a cave to lurk in?"

"What makes you think I don't have one already?"

"I'm talking about a real house, not a safe house."

This injury isn't related to his cybernetics. It's his ribs, well below any of his implants. He's not entirely out of the loop when it comes to what doctors have to do to get their licenses. She no doubt had to pull a lot of hard hours during her residency. Maybe she doesn't want to patch up the tower's notorious grouch every time he takes a hit. But he doubts she'd ever be impolite enough to refuse him walking in.

"I have my space here: bathroom, laundry room, small kitchen. If I haven't bothered decorating that, what makes you think I'll want to do it for an entire house?"

"Aww, come on. Look at Ryder! She's having all kinds of fun making her place as obnoxious as possible. That could be you after a few online shopping sprees."

Bucky's eyes open slowly, his brows drawing in when the second verbal mention of Ava pulls parts of his attention back to the conversation.

Fuck, not going to medical still leaves the option of her taking offense. Okay. Alright. So, he'll split the difference and go to emergency intake. He's pretty sure she's listed as his surgical contact in the tower now—he can't stomach looking at his own medical file, not even the written records. Any injury this big will get flagged for trauma support, and she'll be notified. Then it's up to her what she wants to do. That feels like a good compromise.

"She's doing that to reclaim it from Alec; that's different. I don't have the same motivation. For me, it's just going to be extra work.

"Who's Alec?" Bucky asks without thinking. If the universe doesn't hate him today, Natasha's just going to assume he's being his usual kind of paranoid.

"She hasn't mentioned him?" Tony sounds surprised. "Alec's her ex-husband."

Ex-husband? She was married? And she's not anymore, meaning she might be—

He shuts down that train of thought immediately.

Reclaiming the space of her house implies they lived in it long enough to form some heavy memories. She hasn't mentioned having a kid, and she strikes him as the type to bring up something like that pretty fast. So it was just the two of them, most likely.

"People usually don't like talking about the egocentric sack of shit they used to coexist with," Natasha points out. Of course, she already knows about the doctor's history. It's her.

"Bad divorce?" he prods, trying not to sound overly invested in the answer. These assholes will take it as an invitation.

"Oh, the worst," Tony confirms. "Shithead tried fighting her on it tooth and nail. She had to borrow my legal team just to get the guy to fuck off and leave her alone. He even kept her surname after the divorce; can you believe that?"

An uneasy feeling starts to rise in his gut, making Bucky look over at him. Then up at Natasha. "What kind of won't leave her alone are we talking about?"

"Down, fido, my lawyers took care of it. There's no need to start tailing him. Aside from being a self-absorbed asshole that insists they'll," Tony's voice turns scornful as his fingers form air quotes, "work things out with time, he's toothless."

"She's got concealed carry permits she earned properly if that makes you feel better," Natasha offers up. The thought does help ease the tension building in him.

He won't read Ava's file, no matter how bad the buzzing gets. But he might check in with JARVIS about her home security. He's noticed her name on the system logs. She, or at least her house, is linked to SHIELD's network despite her general distrust of the organization. He understands the opposing priorities completely.

He caved and read Wyatt's file two nights ago. The buzzing had been building since Ava mentioned him wanting an autograph, and it finally got to be too much. Nothing's lurking there aside from an impressive list of historians from all the fuck over Georgia and Alabama. The kid's got more family than some towns have population.

Bucky leans forward with a muted groan to change the autopilot's intended LZ of the Avenger's balcony to the entrance hanger for medical. If he's going to grit his teeth through the antiseptic over a couple small holes, he's damn sure not going to haul his ass through half the tower while his ribs leak. His patience has limits, and that's pretty fucking far over the starting line.

Tony looks over at him with a deep, suspicious frown. Bucky frowns at him right back with the same level of scrutiny. He can feel Natasha staring a hole into the side of his head, even if he can't catch her in his peripherals. He hates both of them with a passion at the moment. He knows what's about to happen—

"Did you just… prioritize your own health," Tony questions like he's baffled by the very idea. His whole upper body turns in the seat as he looks up at Natasha excitedly. "Oh my god. He's doing it. All by himself." He raises a hand to his chest and looks back at Bucky. "They grow up so fast."

It's good that the autopilot is on. If it weren't, Bucky would be tempted to crash them out of spite, mostly because he's sure he'd survive it. "Very funny."

"All it took was a hippie that gives him candy," Natash adds, her voice dripping with smugness. "Who knew."

"Both of you can fuck off." Bucky doesn't like how close she just got to his primary motivation on the first try. Old habits die hard, et cetera. And he hates that he can't tell if she was trying to guess. If he's lucky, which he isn't, she was just making fun of him.

Natasha knows about his visits to the florist's website; he's fucking convinced of it now. He doesn't know how, and he can't outright call her on it. If he does, he could fuck up and make himself right. There is nothing worse than having the Black Widow as metaphorical family. Not even Steve's hovering.

She and Tony harass him for the remainder of the flight. It's not long, mercifully, and he's starting to regret not grabbing something for the doctor. They were in Montreal, of all places, so it would have been fitting. He figures she'll understand once he shows her his side. The train of thought makes him wonder what part of Canada she's originally from. She hasn't brought it up.

His foot is already bouncing by the time he reaches the elevator. He's still got the surgical towel shoved tightly against his ribs. He hopes she gets there fast if she ends up taking the call. The last thing he wants to do right now is sit around in the burn of antiseptic and bleach while he fights off the urge to bolt.

This is good, Bucky reminds himself as he takes his first few steps into medical. He's sat through plenty of trips to emergency intake. He can handle walking into his first optional one. It's a non-issue. Completely.

When JARVIS informs him that his file and general vital scan have been submitted for intake, the buzzing gets so intense that he almost leaves. The pace of his sergeant walk, as Sam likes to designate it, slows to a crawl. Then he thinks about a doctor with concealed carry permits. One that lets her house be monitored by a government organization she's actively pushing herself to trust. All in an effort to contribute something good to the world. The buzzing eases, and he picks up his pace, headed for the solo observation room JARVIS listed for him.

There's no moment of standing involuntarily from nerves this time. He doesn't have to force himself to sit back down and wait, even though the room smells wrong. His skin is crawling, and he wants nothing more than to put a throwing knife in his hand like a goddamn security blanket. But he doesn't panic. He doesn't try leaving.

Baby steps.

When the door opens, it's devastating. There's no diminutive hippie with UFO-sized glasses smiling at him on the other side of it. It's a guy in a plain white lab coat without artistic stitching, one that Bucky's never met before in his life. He's already squinting down at a tablet, meaning this will be his doctor for the duration.

This was the worst plan he could have possibly conceived. The universe is humbling him for thinking he could get away with something like this without some kind of suffering. He just wanted to make up for being dismissive of her help initially. Now he gets to sit through this. How fucking grand.

"Barnes?" The doctor that's not Bucky's doctor looks up, his heart rate elevating by a few notches. He's putting in a lot of effort to look confident. It's not exactly working. "I'm Dr. Erickson. I'm guessing you're here for the bullet wounds JARVIS detected?"

"Yup." Bucky's not about to volunteer for small talk at the moment. It's a miracle he hasn't jumped off the biobed yet. "Where's Ryder?"

"Your primary is in a staff meeting at the moment." Erickson puts his tablet down on the supply cabinet's main counter. He's already starting to gather what he needs, leaving Bucky to figure out real quick if he's actually willing to do this. "Don't worry; I'll get you sewn up and on your way in no time."

He doesn't want it getting back to Ava that he bailed the moment she couldn't show up. He doesn't want to leave her with the impression that he's only going to take on medical care if it's her; that's not anywhere near fair. The woman is a brain surgeon, not his private physician. He can grow the fuck up and accept help from people that haven't gone through his gauntlet of verification.

"Great," he pushes out, lifting the side of his undershirt to offer an unobstructed view.

It's not great; it's fucking horrendous. The first touch of the new doctor makes the overly physical memory of the buzzing build so high, he can feel it in his teeth. They're not actually rattling in his jaw the way they did back then, he knows that, but it doesn't matter because his body is screaming at him that it's happening.

The first stitch going through his skin makes him want to put his fingers through the doctor's eye sockets. His mind goes over all the ways he can violently put at least ten feet between them without having to get up. Looking back, it's probably good he didn't reach for the throwing knives. He's not unhinged enough to stab someone unprovoked; he's better than that. But they'd have been distracting to his impulse control, that's for sure.

Dr. Handsy is pulling the first suture in tight when the door to the observation room opens again. Bucky doesn't look up, his eyes locked on a random point on the far wall while he focuses on his breathing. He only looks over when a billowing, maroon pant leg enters his peripheral.

Thanks to a bunch of dead Nazi scientists that used to hide out in the mountains of Russia, Bucky Barnes has a trigger in his brain that is entirely out of his control. One that, when activated by his own interest, lets him process his surroundings in a sliver of the time that it should for a human mind. It is exceptionally helpful in the field.

Watching Ava Ryder walk in, wearing a suede jumpsuit that mercilessly frames her curves, proves to him that having it in the 30s would have gotten him shot by someone's father. Definitely before he left Brooklyn. Or before he got chased out by several fathers banding together with baseball bats. In the time it takes her hand to come off the door handle and make its way to her hip, his mind goes on one hell of a fucking journey.

He already had more than a vague idea of the shape of her before now; he can't help it. Comes with the territory of doing threat assessment for a living. God knows his eyes have slipped down to her chest on a shameful amount of occasions. Her tits are being held up and pushed together fucking beautifully at the moment. Typically, that would hold all of his attention.

But this is the first unobstructed view of her that he's gotten, thanks to the lab coat being nowhere in sight, and good fucking god. Holy fucking shit. Godfuckingdamn.

She's half turned from him at this angle, so he's only getting a side view. That's more than enough to show off an obscenely rounded ass and the cushy thighs it rests on that are going to haunt his fucking dreams. It's bigger than his hands by a margin that's outright glorious. The mental image of his fingers digging into it, of how it would make her skin dip under the pressure, makes his blood race.

He can't spot the outline of any underwear at first. Then her hand makes contact with the jumpsuit, and his eyes pick up on it. Right there, above the top of her finger, pulled up high over her hipbone. There's a thin band leaving an impression in the fabric. An extraordinarily thin band. There is nothing else in sight.

Pulled between Ava's legs, right at this very moment in time, is a strip of fabric that Bucky's tongue would fit against perfectly. Right under that is a taste he's been catching himself wondering about for two weeks now. One good, long drag of his nose. That's all it would take to push in whatever she's picked out for the day and soak it with that taste. He could get it back out from between her lips with his tongue, pull it to the side with his teeth to give himself room to feast—

Bucky tries to shift his weight as nonchalantly as possible while his brain slows back down. The comeback from tactical analysis is always jarring, with this one being especially so.

He's the worst kind of bastard. An awful, selfish, perverted sonofabitch. There's not shit he can do to change that. How unfortunate.

"David," Ava greets, the name coming out as tense as the closed smile plastered on her face. "You can put that down."

The other doctor doesn't look up from the work his hands are doing. "That you, Ava? I heard you were—"

"Now."

Bucky's back straightens up as David looks at her nervously, taken aback. Bucky doesn't blame him; he didn't know her voice could get that forceful.

David sort of laughs, which feels like the worst possible choice to Bucky. But, hey, not his call. "What, do you want me to just—"

"I want your hands off my patient right now. I'm not asking." She watches with unwavering intensity as the other doctor lets the needle and thread drop from his hands. She visibly bristles at the patronizing expression on David's face, her head tilting aggressively. Bucky kind of wants to watch her hit him. "I'll be back in less than a minute, sergeant. I need a word outside with Dr. Erikson."

"Take your time," Bucky assures, the tension bleeding out of him already. His ribs are leaking, and there's a piece of doctor floss looped through his skin that he's going to have to cut out of himself tomorrow morning. The immoral evaluation of her outfit that his head threw at him is going to eat him alive. Forever. Especially when he's trying to fall asleep for the foreseeable future.

All things considered, though, he feels fan-fucking-tastic.

David still looks somewhat shell-shocked, and there's real insult starting to creep into his posture, but the guy doesn't argue. He follows Ava back out of the room, not bothering with a goodbye in Bucky's direction. When the door closes behind them, his super hearing picks up on Ava reaming David about prioritizing patients before ego. She goes into detail about the deep shit he'll be in with her if he keeps ignoring her written orders, long before it ever gets him fired. She tacks on why her anger should scare him a hell of a lot more than the idea of that. Then she instructs him to keep his damn hands off her patients and get back to the intake desk.

The protective streak makes Bucky's chest feel warm, a half-smile pulling at his lips. She's a handful, alright. One he'd give anything to be brave enough to send flowers to.

Ava is calm, cool, and collected when she leans back in through the doorframe, hanging off it with a soft smile. "Hiya, stranger. I hear you picked a fight in my motherland today."

"I hear it has an arms dealer problem. I wanted to see if I could help." He gestures down at the needle swinging from his ribs without looking at it. "Not all Canadians are as welcoming as you, turns out."

"Eh?" she fires back, hamming up the accent. "Wellll, I'm not about to let a few cranky arms dealers tarnish our reputation. What do you say you push that bandage against your new bragging rights, and we head for my office?"

Licking his bottom lip nervously, he tries to give her a confident smile. "You were busy with something."

"Not too busy for my favorite popsicle." One eyebrow raises sternly. "You are not allowed to tell Steve I'm playing favorites." God, she's cute when she tries to deflect. It's never worked. At least not on him.

"That's—" Shit, where to even find the fucking words for her. "You don't have to do this. Go out of your way like this. I don't mind getting patched up by random medics. Comes with the job."

Her smile turns impish. "That's cool and all, but I mind when people ignore basic ethics just to have a story about stitching up an Avenger. If you need to tell yourself I'm using you as fuel for a workplace pissing contest, go for it. Whatever gets you off that biobed." She leans back, leaving the door open wide behind her. "Come on; I can't stand the way they organize these damn shelves. I wouldn't patch you up in here even if you did pay me. Next time, head for my office first."

Bucky does as she ordered, pushing the surgical towel she packed for him against his side, not minding the sting in the least. He swallows down the point that, by every definition there is, he's not an Avenger. "I'll follow you, doc."

—

"Alright," Wyatt plops his hands down on the glass of the holo, his expression determined. His tight curls bounce with the motion, making their resident gumdrop look adorable, even through the discomfort. "Let's get to dissectin' this cacophony. All in one go, preferably, so I don't feel like yackin' up my lunch two days runnin'."

Ava's head tilts sympathetically. "Oh, honey, tell me you didn't—"

His hand comes up, with his index finger pointed to the ceiling. "Nope. But I got close a couple'a times thinkin' about this." He mutters several things under his breath about creepy Nazi bastards while he pulls up the raw data from Bucky's implants. "All the more reason to get it the hell over with."

"A whole day of digging through coded war crimes," Hannah deadpans quietly, raising a steaming mug to her lips. "I'm glad we get the fun assignments."

"You'd ditch us if we didn't," Ava jokes. She scrolls through the sergeant's file absentmindedly on her tablet, reviewing the vitals added just a few hours ago. He actually came to medical. For something as minor as a field injury. Of his own volition.

"Mmm. I don't know. It's pretty fun watching a brain move like Jell-O. You might have been able to convince me to stick around just for that."

SHIELD's primary system makes a blaring noise of disagreement as Wyatt loads the main file structure. He frowns, looking over at Ava with concern. "Its askin' for administrative override."

"Heeey, that's that thing Tony says I'm not supposed to abuse. That's probably not a good sign." Ava pushes her glasses further up the bridge of her nose and leans over to get a look at the error. "JAR, I'd like some reassurance we're not about to trigger an ancient LoJack if you wouldn't mind advising here."

"There are safeguards in place for importing code with an unknown source," JARVIS reports in. The warning on the screen is dismissed, presumably by him, and a new window comes up. A log of the programming in Bucky's cybernetics going through digital quarantine loads rapidly, with line after line being highlighted in red and labeled HYDRA Suspected. "I will process them for you. One moment."

"We have to clean the Nazi code before we can beat it to death," Hannah mumbles against the rim of her mug. "I think I kind of like that."

"Please, Hannie, I'm hangin' on by the skin'a my teeth here." Scrubbing his hands over his face, Wyatt groans exhaustedly. He drags them down slowly, giving Hannah a pleading look over the tops of his fingers. "You know I'm always here for supportin' you—"

"I'm aware." The ex-marine's clipped tone makes Ava snort and look back down at her tablet. They both know stopping him now isn't going to cut off the word vomit.

Wyatt's hands thunk back down onto the glass. "I'm so proud'a ya, y'know that—" And there's the thickening of the accent.

"I know."

Ava's eyes skim over the list of everything detected in Bucky's wound, locking on the word leather in particular. Today was her first look at his work gear—she's got a feeling he doesn't call it a uniform—in person. It was hard to keep professional in front of six and a half feet of Hi, how are ya? wrapped up in that much heavy black. The sounds that his vest made when he dropped it on the coffee table— Jesus. He's got to be packing enough in there to arm a small country.

"All's I'm sayin' is that if I have to hear about murder right now, I might actually upchu—"

"Please don't."

Ava's too scared to ask what's in the sergeant's pants for a multitude of reasons. Professionalism is lower on the list than it probably should be. It's a shame, too. He's downright hilarious when he lets himself talk. There's not a doubt in her mind that he'd come up with something unbearably good—and unwaveringly dry—in response to the loaded question.

"A'right then. We're in agreement. No bad thoughts today. We go in like—like excavators, right? With our helmets and our 'lil pickaxes, and we get what we need so we can—" The way he cuts himself off makes Ava look back up in concern. She finds the most horrified expression on Wyatt's face. "That—ah shit, that didn't come out all that right. That was mean, wannit? Insensitive. I'm not tryin' to belittle what the sergeant's been through."

"You weren't belittling anything," Ava assures, reaching out to rub his arm. "I think he'd be the first one to race you to a fossil joke about this."

"You'll tell 'im I'm takin' this serious, won't ya—"

A small chuckle escapes before she can stop it. "Wyatt, sweetheart, it's not like he heard you—"

"You take your pills today, Combs?" Hannah's calm question makes the gumdrop freeze in place. She blows on her coffee, taking a small sip. "If you say you don't remember, I'm going to—"

Wyatt snaps his fingers, his expression shifting to relief. "I didn't, and I remember why, too." He rolls his chair back with a sudden push, aiming for his desk. He reaches out before the chair finishes the trip to grab his patch-covered messenger bag. "One'a the cats got int'a my coat closet; dumbass got stuck on a shelf for reasons I'm still not real clear on." He pops open his medication bottle, tossing a pill into his mouth with a level of dexterity that makes her jealous. "The hollerin' was s'damn loud, I thought the landlord was gonna come knockin'."

"Which one was it?" Ava asks. "Not the new kitten?"

"No, no—Juno's been'a dream. It was Galileo again. I love that furry little bastard, but sometimes he can drive me nutty ." He pauses to take a swig from another glossy vacation mug. Today's is advertising a campground Ava's never heard of that's the best in the Rockies, according to the swirling font. "I got new pictures of Juno if you want 'em, though."

"Yes, please," Ava confirms happily. Holding the teacup-sized ball of fur made her whole month when he last brought Juno in. Hannah ended up hogging most of the cuddle time, but the sound of little meows filling the day had been enough to make up for it.

Wyatt pulls his phone from his back pocket and brings it around to hook up to the holo. The system dings with the sound of a successful transfer after a moment. He loads a collection of new photos, zeroing in on one of Juno clawing her way up a window curtain—

The power to the lab shuts off with a loud, electric click. Everything plunges into darkness with the privacy setting on the glass walls keeping the sun out. It comes back on before Ava can react, the building's primary system switching to the emergency power grid. She and Wyatt lock eyes in panic.

"Oooh man, boss, did I just—"

"I'm sure you didn't," Ava comforts, trying to push down her own panic. It helps that she's heard Tony rambling about the work he's put into making this place indestructible. "JAR?"

There's no response from the AI. She trades another nervous glace with Wyatt.

"I know it was probably the Nazi shit, but I'm hoping it was the cats," Hannah says, sounding sincere. "I feel like that'll make a much better story."

"Oh my god, did I break JAR?" Wyatt looks between them frantically. "How often does he back up his servers? Did I kill'a piece'a JAR?!"

"I have not been murdered," the AI confirms after nearly a minute of being gone. "The safeguards reported a false positive regarding the programming of Sergeant Barnes' cybernetics. It has been handled."

Ava gives the hologram wall of code a warry look. "Handled by you?" There's a suspicion building in her gut around his phrasing, one that she's not planning on letting out of her teeth.

"Mr. Stark has a protocol in place that cuts off my servers in the event of any irregular activity. Given the nature of the programming's origin, the system is designed to er on the side of caution."

"That's a really fancy way of dancing around the point, JAR." She's trying to stay civil about this. It's not an easy venture, and she's pretty sure it's not translating at all. Even she can hear the frustration in her voice. "How about we cut the shit, and you tell me what the false positive was."

"There are automated routines running for Sergeant Barnes' implants. They are not harmful; I've taken the liberty of checking them personally now that they've been cleared through quarantine. I am creating a stable update to forward to—"

"How long have they not been harmful, JARVIS?"

Hannah sits up from her relaxed position at the avoidance of their favorite nickname for the AI. Wyatt's brows pull in nervously, his eyes never leaving Ava. They both know exactly what she's digging at.

There's a long hesitation from JARVIS. Short by normal social standards but an eternity for a sentience with quantum processors. "There is not currently a risk posed within the Sergeant's—"

Ava's out of her chair and halfway to the door before he even finishes the omission. Fueled by some of the most intense rage she's ever felt in her life, she marches out on swift feet. She's going to kill him. She's going to string him up—maybe hang him off the side of the tower.

America's fucking Sweetheart, her ass. America's Doomed Liar is a lot more like it.

"Where is he," Ava nearly growls, still stalking down the halls, leaving the medical wing in a hurry. "JARVIS, I know you're still listening; you tell me where that puffed-up, hypocritical—oooh , you tell me where Rogers is right the fuck now. And then you tell me where Stark is—"

"Dr. Ryder, I know you're not inclined to believe this at the moment, but I assure you—"

"You're right; I'm not inclined to do that at all." She takes a deep breath as she passes through the front entrance, slowing herself to a stop. With genuine effort, she pushes down her anger. "I don't want to keep yelling at you. I don't like doing it in the first place. If you don't want to tell me where they are, I'll find them myself."

Ava heads for the elevator to do just that. She's not expecting a response as she pounds the side of her fist against the button for the Datacrux's floor. It's likely to be her best bet to find any of them. There's not a chance in hell that she's letting her team dedicate any more time to this until she gets some fucking explanations.

Halfway along the ride up, the light around the button goes dim. A flash of anger rises in her until she sees the one for the executive level illuminate.

"Mr. Stark is not currently in the tower, but you will find Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes debriefing in the Situation Room," JARVIS informs her over the elevator's intercom, making the SHEILD agents around her pretend not to look over. She's tempted to ask them if it's the outfit.

"Thank you, JAR," she offers as an olive branch. Regardless of what's truly going on here, she doubts the AI is all that comfortable with the subject.

"You're welcome, Ava."

She's only been to this part of the tower once before. Tony dragged her up to the Avenger's balcony for a party after her divorce was first finalized. That's about the extent of her experience with this section. It's not hard to find her way with everything denoted like it is in the rest of the building.

The palm of her hand smacks against the door marked Situation Room, and she shoves it open aggressively. Both super soldiers, the Falcon, Black Widow, and a scattered group of SHIELD agents stare back at her in surprise. It doesn't slow her down any.

Ava points an irate finger at Steve in the uneasy silence of the room. "Unless New York just caught fire, you and I are about to have a very blunt conversation, captain."

"Hiya, doc." Bucky, unsurprisingly, is the only one in the room smiling at her while she glares daggers at Captain America. He's still in his not-uniform. There's still blood on it. The charm he's throwing her way reminds her that they won't want an audience.

"I'm going to ask the rest of you to leave," she continues, but her eyes stay on the sergeant as her finger lowers. "I don't think you'll want to be here for this, Bucky."

"What makes you think I don't wanna watch you beat up my best friend?" He leans back in his chair, his hands coming up to rest on his stomach as his smile deepens.

"Can I stay?" Sam asks, his voice eager. It's a damn shame this is how she gets to meet him. She doubts the Falcon has any clue about unethical research.

"Come on," Natasha insists with a serene nod in Ava's direction, grabbing Sam's shirt to drag him up from his chair. "You heard her."

"I—hey!" Steve looks so insulted as he watches his friends and various coworkers abandon him with zero hesitation. "You're just gonna—I don't even know what I did!"

"Neither do I, but I am very ready to hear about it," Bucky assures Ava, not an increasingly distressed Steve.

Ava taps her foot impatiently as the room clears out, leaving her alone with the super soldiers. She ignores the nerves radiating off of one of them and focuses on the one that looks delighted. "I'm serious. This is about your case. Specifically, the work HYDRA was trying to finish."

The mirth leaves Bucky almost entirely. His posture doesn't adjust from its reclined position. "Alright. Tell me what's got you livid about it."

"Steve here made me a promise that was broken in my lab a few minutes ago."

Steve's eyebrows pull in with confusion. "Which promise? Wait—a few minutes ago—Is this about that blackout? Ava, catch me up here; what the hell is—"

"You swore to me that the intention of HYDRA—at least where Bucky's case is concerned—was to make an army of super soldiers, nothing more." She's letting him process this one step at a time. It'll make yelling at him for lying a lot easier. That, and she's honestly worried the technophobe doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"I—" Steve hesitates, and she watches the switch to tactical assessment come over him. It's startling to see it directed at her from a face that isn't Bucky's. "As far as I know, that was the intention."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You're sure you're not omitting something pretty fucking important to my job, Steven?"

"JARVIS, what was the blackout?" Bucky questions at half the volume he started at when she first came in.

Ava points at the sergeant insistently. "See? I'm guessing he doesn't even know, but he's sure as hell already on the right track."

"There was an incident regarding the coding found in your implants, Sergeant Barnes. It has been handled. I have prepared an update to their systems whenever you're ready to undergo a transfer."

"As your doctor, I'm ordering it. We can go back to my office after I'm finished ripping your friend a new asshole for lying to my face." Her eyebrows lower at Bucky in indignation. She's doing this for him, but that doesn't mean she's going to let him off the hook if he knew. "We should probably figure out if I need to do the same to you before we get there."

"Hey, hang on now." Steve raises one hand, likely to try to calm her, but changes his mind and puts it back under the table. She's guessing someone's finally clued in the out-of-time man about that practice making women want to throw something. At his head. "We might not always be able to talk about classified information—something you agreed to, I might add—but I've never lied about HYDRA's intent as far as I comprehend it. I've been very careful to hold up that end of our deal."

"Let me tell you how I know, for a fact, that someone involved in this case is doing a piss-poor job of lying to me about it. Since you haven't quite figured out modern tech, I'm going to try to keep it simple." Ava points a far less aggressive, more instructing finger at Bucky's arm. "In order for that hunk of metal to work, it needs to be programmed. The hardware needs software that can tell it how to read brain signals. A few decades ago, some Nazis sat in a room and wrote a bunch of code for that software. That's what was supposed to be in Bucky's implants. That's all that was supposed to be in Bucky's implants."

"Wait—what the hell else is in them?" The flicker of fear that creeps into Bucky's expression breaks her heart. There's not a doubt in her mind that he could sell her on any lie he wants to with his mind set on it. That's the point of infiltrators like him.

But Ava's willing to bet everything she's got in this world that the fear in him at the moment is genuine. He doesn't know. And it makes her feel awful.

"Given the size of your implants, I'm guessing not much," she tries to reassure. "We can always purge whatever is there later. However, if the code were as simple as 'read this signal, do this thing,' it wouldn't have been flagged as untouchable by Tony's security measures. The ones put in specifically to prevent JARVIS from being corrupted." She crosses her arms over her chest in exasperation, her eyes moving to one of the small security cameras on the ceiling. "Would you like to explain to the captain what kind of code it would take to accomplish that, JARVIS?"

There's another human-length moment of hesitation from the AI in response. "It would take adapting code."

"The part he's holding back—definitely because he's under orders not to break SHIELD protocol—is that something has to be driving the adaptation. There is such a thing as self-adapting code; that would absolutely explain it. If we weren't talking about something made in the 40s when HYDRA needed entire warehouses just to house a few terabytes of data." She glances over at Bucky. "While I'm sure the agents you scare the piss out of would disagree, your head isn't actually big enough to hold that much."

"You flirtin' with me to stop the panic or to apologize for not being Canadian for a minute?"

Ava blinks in surprise, the slightest hint of heat coming up the sides of her neck. That—she hadn't been—well. Steve's head turns to him, his eyebrows raising in mild shock.

Bucky clears his throat, then tries for a quiet chuckle, his eyes floating between her and the table. "Sorry—it's this damn room. Puts me in sergeant mode, makes me—let's get back to yelling at Steve."

"Thanks, asshole, I appreciate—"

"What makes you think I won't yell at you just because I'm Canadian?" Ava counters, finally recovering. "You trying to stereotype me, Barnes?"

The relief that comes off of Bucky is palpable. "I'd go for the hippie thing first if I was trying to do that."

"Didn't you sleep through the McCarthy era?"

"HYDRA gave me the long and short of it between naps."

Her hand flies up to her face to block a loud snort. Damn him, this is serious. But she's not about to begrudge him the gallows humor. She lowers it again while he smirks at her. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make an angry but valid point here."

"About a bunch of code that my head isn't big enough for," he continues for her dryly, one hand coming off his stomach to gesture up at it.

Ava sighs, the amusement from getting sidetracked by the Brooklyn heartstopper fading fast. "Not big enough by the standards of the 40s. By today's standards?" Her head tilts to the side sadly, readying herself to watch that fear in him get more substantial. "You tell me, Buck. Did the Nazis work in the mindset of single projects, or did they work in the mindset of generations that would lead a global empire?"

The words are the last piece to complete the puzzle in Bucky's mind; Ava can see it happen in his eyes. The expression of horror it yanks out of him will haunt her for the rest of her days. "Zola."

It's said in a whisper, and Ava's not even sure what the word is.

It takes Steve longer to reach whatever conclusion Buckys come to, and he looks resistant to the idea at first. "No, that's... no—Buck, you've been to what's left. You know what it took—"

"That's the point she's making, stupid. Look at how small everything's gotten." He stops, and Ava doesn't miss the sight of a hard swallow. "It makes sense. Think about it. It makes sense. They took care of the car until they could find an engine that fit. I was the prototype. Or—was going to be, at least."

The comparison—the one he's using on himself—is revolting. Accurate, but astoundingly revolting. She pushes past it, leaning down to tap a condescending nail on the table. "Hi, there. Still here. Still looking for some answers. What the hell is Zola?"

With Steve watching him like a hawk, Bucky breathes a long, tired sigh. "Not what. Who."

"I can fill her in," Steve offers to him quickly. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, I'm not doing shit. She's going to do it all." Bucky locks eyes with Ava, his expression passive. Having the Winter Soldier himself that focused in on her makes her breath catch involuntarily. "How's your Russian, doc?"

"I don't speak a word of it. Do I need to for this?"

"No, I'm sure you've got plenty of ways to translate anything you feel like reading. You should look up doveryai, no proveryai while you're at it." He leans forward, resting his arms on the table. His eyes never once move away from hers. "JARVIS, transfer a copy of my archive access to Dr. Ryder. Full permissions. And the next time she asks you a hard question, you don't have to bullshit her. Tell her to call me."

—

April 6th, 2015

"I want you to bring me with you next time."

"No."

"Is that a no because you do not agree or because you are afraid of mother?"

"Both."

Shuri frowns at the security feed, ignoring the quiet laughter she can hear coming from Nakia on the other end. "Coward."

The camera mounted on T'Challa's dashboard shakes as he turns it back to his face, his expression annoyed. "Say that to my—"

"Coward."

T'Challa rolls his eyes and turns the camera back around as Nakia laughs harder. He will be mopey now, for sure. "I am not taking you to stare at a soldier's office with us."

"Why not?"

"To start with, I refuse to be trapped in a car with you for that amount of time."

"You should be so lucky! Now, what is the real reason."

"What part of royal family do you not—"

"You get to go to these things."

"And when you leave your lab long enough to learn to use the spears of your foremothers, that privilege can extend to you."

"Okoye is always ready to teach you, Shuri," Nakia offers up diplomatically.

"I do not need a spear to sit in a car annoying my brother," Shuri argues. They always do this to her. She is tired of it.

"You do not need to sit in a car annoying your bother at all." The moping has already started. She can hear it in T'Challa's voice.

"Fine. I will go to Ava's house and stay there while—"

"No."

Shuri slams her hands down on her desk, making the various instruments on it rattle precariously. "She is my family, too!"

There's silence on the other end in the wake of her anger. Then the camera turns again, this time by Nakia's hand. She doesn't stop the spin until it's pointed to show her and T'Challa. He does not look as annoyed anymore. He looks guilty.

Nakia gives her a sympathetic smile. "No one is trying to take that from you. We are only trying to keep you safe. We do not know how far Alec is willing to take things."

"And I am not willing to present the man with more temptations of power," T'Challa adds, the guilt on his face shifting to resignation. "It is not simply because I am afraid of our mother. I agree with her. And with our father. Alec Harlow is a man that is losing everything. That is a powerful motivator, Shuri."

"I am not afraid of that spineless demon," Shuri insists angrily. "I could handle him myself, thank you very much."

"Half the school children in Wakanda could," Nakia mocks under her breath.

She gets a stern look from T'Challa before he focuses it on Shuri. "It is not his strength we are concerned with. It is the allies he can call upon at any time. Men with strength and resources that we do not wish to deal with."

Some of the fight leaves her. Not much, but it does ebb. Her brother might be an idiot, but he is right about this. Ava would not be this afraid for no reason. She has been trying to disguise it when Nakia brings her for visits, which is how Shuri knows it is serious.

"I hate that man, brother." The word is far too inadequate. The contempt she holds for the worm who put fear in the heart of her favorite mad scientist feels immeasurable.

"As do I. As do we all." T'Challa smiles at her finally, his face softening. "I promise to bring you to hit him if he is ever arrested. That is when I will deem it safe enough."

"How many times?" she chases after quickly. "Can I bring a weapon?"

"You can bring exactly one weapon. Can you guess what it is?" The smile turns sarcastic as he reaches out and turns the camera back around to face Alec's office window.

"I do not need a spear to break that man."

"No, you need it so I can stop being lectured by Okoye for enabling your avoidance of tradition."

"That will not help. She wishes for me to sit through her lessons. I would just bring the spear to hit him over the head with."

Nakia laughs, the sound light and soothing. "I am surprised you did not go straight for the idea of skewering him."

Tilting her head down at her desk, Shuri hesitates. She picks up the ridiculous coffee mug Ava got her, spinning it around in her hands with somber movements.

Ava's last visit had been especially hard to stomach. The woman had looked so... empty as she talked about the start of the divorce. There had been no vengeful joy in her as she told Shuri's father she understood the gravity of the situation. No hard-won victory in her posture. There had only been grief and shame.

Shuri sighs, turning away from the screen to head for her lab's kitchen. She is going to fill the mug with one of the teas that Ava brings her. It will be a nice change from the energy drinks she has been binging. "No. I... I do not wish the man dead. I only wish to see him locked away somewhere he can never smile again."

—author end notes—

there’s one sentence in this chapter that is 14 words long (including contractions) that is the entire foundation of their incoming dom/sub and oh my g o d when i tell you that shit was cathartic to write 😫🤌 some day when this is finished, im gonna write a whole goddamn dissertation on that one sentence and all the narrative shit that tied into it in this fic so help me (YOURE ALLOWED TO GUESS BTW)

anyways, everyone is alive in wakanda bc i said so. and nakia and t’challa are really stupid uber mega important to ava’s backstory

i feel like we’ve all, as a species, Been Through Enough. you can talk my ear off abt anything, but dont talk to me abt the opening of wakanda forever i will Literally Die, i havent cried that hard over the first watch of a movie in so fucking long and i dont think im strong enough for a second. all i ever need for binging is winter soldier and black panther anyhow (FATWS is still growing on me and i only like it so far bc im a sambucky shipper. and a stucky shipper. and a 3 musketeer shipper. and a—i like making buckaroo be in love a lot. lets just. leave it at that). we can stop with the big owies thanks. let me escape to the fictional world where everyone is alive and Nothing Hurts, t h a n k s.

well. okay. some things are gonna hurt in this. probably really super bad too and youre gonna be really really mad at me when it hits. but like. theyre set up for comfort pay off so does it even really count??? i didnt think so, ty for agreeing 😌

ily 💖 tyty for reading 💞 and tyty in advance for yelling at me when i eventually hurt u ❤️🥰 i will understand, its okay, u are entitled to the emotional compensation on that one

#chapter update #good space

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