#and i don't think we're gonna hear more
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ronanlynchbf · 4 months ago
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and then an overwhelming sense of dread apear.
#finished my last exam for this year YAY YIPPEE YAHOO ETC. but also now we wait for if i pass or not DREAD FEAR WARINESS ETC.#which i rlly don't think i will like. did not feel good abt the 1st exam period felt worse abt the 2nd and this one is like.....idk idk...#pretty confident abt the books part of the exam bc i KNOW i got everything on that correct but the thing is it was an oral exam and i was#stumbling over my words so bad + my voice was quivering i could hear it. hoping they don't count that as minus points but for the speech#thing i also had to do 2day they DO include how your voice sounds when you speak and like stammering and such in the final point count so#like. what if it's the same there.....ALSO they include use of gesturing to emphasize what you're saying and CORRECT EYE CONTACT in the#final point count. which. i don't have a problem with gesturing & i had a piece of paper in my hands so at least i wasn't too bad on that#front but when it comes to eye contact it's only flitting eyes or unnerving stare with me and nothing in between so i'm completely fucked i#that regard.#r.txt#WHATEVER it's done now. stupid ass weird rules WHO CARES if i don't have correct usage of eye contact what even is correct usage of eye#contact?????? like HOW am i supposed to know what the quote correct amount unquote is man. ALSO WHO GIVE A SHIT.#anyway going 2 luxembourg with my family for two weeks on august 5th probably. maybe sooner maybe later. we're going hiking + camping ⛺🌲👣#but the hiking is mostly done without backpacks and the camping is gonna be in campings. camping places. however english calls it.#which is a little less fun but also easier. but also less fun. but ANYWAY we're going on vacation and my final exam is done so no more#stress 💪🥳🙏🗣💥‼ (<- guy who's SO gonna be still having stress until the results come in. and then some afterwards. yay 4 me 🙂👍)
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coquelicoq · 7 months ago
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In talking about Chaucer (p. 74), I said that, in general, puns and verbal connections of sound were unimportant and not to be sought out; and now, you will say, I have been using them to explain cruces in Shakespeare. Alas, you have touched on a sore point; this is one of the less reputable aspects of our national poet. A quibble is to Shakespeare [Johnson could not but confess] what luminous vapours are to the traveller; he follows it at all adventures; it is sure to lead him out of his way and sure to engulf him in the mire. It has some malignant power over his mind.... A quibble was for him the fatal Cleopatra for whom he lost the world, and was content to lose it. Nor can I hold out against the Doctor, beyond saying that life ran very high in those days, and that he does not seem to have lost the world so completely after all. It shows lack of decision and will-power, a feminine pleasure in yielding to the mesmerism of language, in getting one's way, if at all, by deceit and flattery, for a poet to be so fearfully susceptible to puns. Many of us could wish the Bard had been more manly in his literary habits, and I am afraid the Sitwells are just as bad.
William Empson, 7 Types of Ambiguity, ch 2 pp 100-101
i'm sorry this is so fucking funny. that pathetic loser shakespeare who loved puns so much it cost him everything, except of course his status as the most famous, most read, most immortal english-language author of all time. but everything else, he lost and it's all because of how weak he was to resist a pun :/ pouring one out for my sad little girly man who could have had it all if only he was better at writing, the thing he is the most famous guy in the world for.
even empson, who disagrees with johnson that shakespeare "lost the world", is like, too bad our favorite poet is susceptible to the thing that made him famous :/ really tragic that the guy whose wordplay we've been talking about for 300 years likes wordplay :///
also i can't get over writing a book about the types of ambiguity and NOT INCLUDING PUNS?? sorry but puns are ambiguous! that's where their juice comes from! imagine liking ambiguity so much you write a book about it but never mention puns except to dunk on them. imagine being a POET and POETRY CRITIC who looks down on sound-based ambiguity! could not be me!!
#puns are a device just as much as any other kind of ambiguity! this value judgment is hilariously nonsensical to me#why are puns bad but other ambiguities aren't? you can't just call them feminine and expect me to be like oh okay in that case#next time my dad makes a pun i'm just going to sigh sadly about his lack of decision and willpower#what a feminine pleasure in yielding to the mesmerism of language i will say. not very manly of you dad :/#i'm annoyed too because one of the types of ambiguity he respects is when one word has multiple meanings possible#in the context of the text. but that is in a sense a kind of pun. he says puns are homophonic but guess what#when one word has multiple meanings another way of saying that is that those are different words that happen to be spelled the same#that is then homophonic ambiguity! aka a fucking pun!!!!#i'm not just quibbling over the exact definition of a pun. i'm saying the boundaries are THAT porous i don't see how you could possibly#like semantic ambiguity as long as the spelling is identical but suddenly think it's facile when the spelling/etymology is different#that's not at all based in rational thinking but he's over here like 'the mesmerism of language is for girls'#pot meet kettle much???#poetry#ambiguity#puns#shakespeare#my posts#there was one other thing i was gonna say what was it. OH YEAH. he also was saying a few pages back that spelling was completely#unstandardized in shakespeare's time...so then why does it matter???#okay and one more thing. he keeps trying to convince me that various verses are syntactically ambiguous if you ignore the punctuation#okay. if we're ignoring punctuation we must be hearing it orally. which means we also don't know what spelling was used!!!!#i think probably he would say he cares more about etymology than spelling. words with different meanings that are etymologically#related are allowed and manly but words with different meanings that came from different roots are a weakness to be avoided#like i'm sorry dude but that is so arbitrary. and you are just cutting yourself off from an immensely rich body of possible ambiguities#by disallowing that kind of wordplay. why would you want to do that????
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keeps-ache · 5 days ago
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gonna keep it shmoovin man
#just me hi#i have a piece i was working on last night that i realized after i didn't have my computer could actually be Much more accurate to my ideaa#but that means i gotta scrap some stuff. sigh ᴗ.ᴗ#also i couldn't get around to readin my thing yesterday cuz my focus was shot for some reason lmao <//3#i would open the thing and then just start. driiiifting away kfshvg#//anyway idk what happened but why have i started to miss Gs at the end of my words Lmfhvaf#i already do that in real life we don't needa do that here too kfshvh#'asz wu' 'm sayin man !!' <- my engrish :3#i do like it though i think it's fun :> but my typingggg not you too kfsvhg#//anywho i've got a $1.75 thing i'm workin on :D#it's gonna hopefully be the third part to those last two i did for that thing#which goes adoration -> devotion -> guess hfh :3#i'm normal abt these guys. [places them in a lunchbox and throws it into the river to watch the bubbles] yea :)#//anyway Wednesday#not the best of the week days i will not lie#like you're stuck between the beginning and the end and it's just got that undecided feeling to it ykno what i mean pfshv#//also LMAO i've been calling feet/foot 'peets/poot' bc i think it's goofy and i don't like the F sound#and i got leo into saying it and he was talkin to somebody and had to explain what it was Lmfhjshfg#my infec- influence is spreading. influence. that's what i said#my woerds: peet. poot. tomach. shnoze. ham. heed. fingaa. ect ect#//ouhhh my collarbone keeps making these snappy noises when i pull my shoulders back#it's only occasional but holy shizz it's loud sometimes. like 'when we're in church i think you can hear it 4 pews back' loud khgsfjhfvjg#//ANYWAY i was mentioning wednesday earlier cuz it's not the best of days on the week (we know this) but i wanna go skating </3#'why isn't wednesday good for that' because it's the middle of the week. [gesturing]#i can't explain it but things need to happen on- Oo i like this songgggkkggg- either weekends or the other 4 days of the weekday#wednesday is for appointments you really don't want. i'm sorry but it's a filler day <//3#which means no happenings on a wednesday. it's illegal. that's right. Illegal#even thursday is iffy man. tuesday? tuesday is your last-chance stop. perhaps i do have thoughts about silly things Kfhvsjhgsf#nobody tell leo he's tryna get me for having a weird brain. the sentence is 5000 years of i-told-you 😔 Lmaooo#//OKAY i think i'm outta tags tho lemme say ciao here loll :3 toodles tooooodles !!! <3
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yeahlikethebird · 7 months ago
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wickedhawtwexler · 9 months ago
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oh my godddd if i do not hear back one way or another about this job before the weekend i will go INSANE
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haus-mom · 9 months ago
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AUGHF 🥺 THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS IN THE TAGS MEME. I GOT A BIT EMO OVER THEM you're so sweet, I'm glad you're enjoying my clowning in the tags!!
Also Chibita can bite the Pope for all I care, he has a permit. (The permit is a napkin where I scribbled "Chibita can do whatever he wants — Mar Maraierba")
YEAH OF COURSE!!!! siempre estoy ahí para apoyar a mis compas hispanos 😎💪specially since, as i said, you're super funny and kind!!!
also the reason why i lost it at the chibita-yuuichi accidental comparison because chibita is just. unhinged. he bites people. he commits tax evasion but it's okay, we forgive him, he has a permit!!!
yuuichi on the other hand is a child who killed an entire town minus a few other kids, and planned on killing them too but decided to basically have them fight for their life at a death (? game because why not you know? (his reasoning verbatim) and when the protag was like "oh wow you went through a super fucked up thing but you know what. i can help you. all you need to do is literally just do better and keep living." and he went "haha don't feel like it. i'm killing you instead <3"
he's also the funniest, he would rather explode than take anything seriously and talk about his feelings, he would rather explode SO HARD he split into two different people. he's canonically gay and his first actual appereance has to be seen to be believed. that sassy latin song plays whenever he shows up no matter how serious the situation is. his catchphrase is "vamos cantar!" because he saw it on tv. he got asked why he was doing all those murder and bad stuffs and he replied by quoting an ad. he's literally a fucked up baby. but he's my fucked up baby
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cringefaildiaz · 2 years ago
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Don't get we wrong, I feel hopeful too, specially with the whole network change because it means the series has an actual shot of going back to the way it used to be. I feel like lately the emergencies don't have that spark anymore, so I'm looking forward to see what ABC does with them. Also, let's cross our fingers and think that they'll actually give a damn about promo and they'll use (at least in social media) what attracts more attention... I mean, if the answer is a couple of firefighters that are raising a child together, I wouldn't mind.
However, what makes me mad is that by the time they were working on the finale they weren't sure if they were going to come back or not. From what it looks like, all the characters will get a sort of happiesh?) ending just in case, because again, the ABC move back then was not a sure thing.
They did that with The Resident. Sure, at first it was supposed to be a season finale, but they still did an ending that could be interpreted as both options: season finale or series finale. Well, it was cancelled so at the end they at least got a chance to leave the characters in a good place.
That's what will happen with 911 this season, I believe, because after almost six years the show at least deserved a decent ending if for one reason or the other they were not coming back.
My point is, we know that it's not going to be an open ending, and that all the characters will be left in a good place. I know there are a lot of possibilities, but we are talking about miss Kristen Reidel, it wouldn't surprise me if Buck and Eddie end this season with Natalia and Marisol, representing a "traditional" conclusion for both characters.
It wasn't hard to leave them single, if she truly didn't want Buddie to happen, but she just had to bring two random characters for the last four episodes of the season, right? If I follow her previous patterns, what will happen is that for the general audience, Buck and Eddie will end in "heathy" relationships with Natalia and Marisol, but they will share a significant moment together that's up to interpretation for the internet. Classic queerbaiting behavior me thinks.
I'm aware that now we are far from losing the war, especially if we consider that ABC has a different target audience and that they actually tend to listen to them. So, Buddie truly has a chance of happening now.
At the end, what I'm trying to say is, I feel optimistic for the ABC move, but I'm also frustrated because if that had been the series ending, that woman would have given a poor conclusion to Buck and Eddie just because yolo?) There was no reason to have those two random characters with them.
Buddie has a second chance, but I hope and pray to the universe that ABC will realize what they have in their hands and even if *she stays, they will overule her bad takes, not only on Buddie, but for the show in general, that move was not a cheap one. If they really want for the series to last, changes need to be made.
It's also sad to think that if they had stayed at FOX or if they had cancelled the series, we never really had a chance to win, huh. Homophobia will always prevail, no matter what.
The thing with this, anon, is that mostly I think it's a really fair reading of what's been going on. I just read the information we have really differently.
I definitely agree with you that the emergencies have been meh for a while now, but to me that's just a symptom of being 6 seasons deep into a procedural; a new network might breathe a little more life into it, and I hope it does, but I've never watched a show through a network switch so I'm pretty 🤷🏻‍♀️ on how much it's gonna affect the actual content. Def hoping for more promo though.
I get what you're saying about all the character's getting a "happy-ish" ending because they didn't know about season renewal but....isn't that always how it is? Like, I don't personally see much of a difference between where it seems they're gonna leave off 6x18 than any of the other finales we've had.
And I get why a finale where one or both of the boys are in a relationship with a woman would be disappointing if we're reading it from a "they thought this might be the last episode they were ever making" angle (but I am BEGGING someone to show me what KR has said or done that makes y'all believe she hates buddie. Because I was watching casually through most of s5, I missed all that. And from the show itself, I don't get that impression at all. I am genuinely asking PLEASE i need context). But, while I've always been a buddie girlie, 6b is literally the first time I've ever thought they might actually do it. And I've been really confident since 6x13 and the interview about the couch being in play until the very last scene of the season (and still am) that the closing shot of this season is gonna be the three boys on the Diaz couch. It's just the only thing I see as a possible resolution. Not to say you can't read that as a "open for interpretation" fan service moment, but until I know exactly why people think KR is fundamentally opposed the idea of buddie together, I'm gonna be reading it the way the text tells me to.
Because while I've become a bit of a buddie truther in 6b, they're not in a place where getting together by the end of the season would make....any sense. A lot of people disagreed with me on that, but that's been my stance since like, early s6. Just cuz there was no development for them in the first half of the season at ALL, and we knew how jam packed 6b was gonna be with other plotlines with other characters. They've got a lot of growing to do before buddie canon would even be satisfying imo. I just really believe we might be on that track now.
And with that in mind, here's my perspective on the ending IF they were writing it thinking they might never write another episode again: Buck can and should end up alone at the end of the season. He should really concretely know what he's looking for, in the way he didn't when he dumped Taylor. Having Buck explore the opportunity to date someone who is fascinated by his experiences but not actually interested in him is a great way to do that, imo. Him walking away from that and realizing he needs to find someone who will, in Oliver's words, meet him where he's at. I really cannot see Natalia being relevant beyond the finale at all, and if I'm wrong, I'm gonna start seriously questioning the writers, because they've told us she's not it for him (like, even my friends who watch the show very casually were screaming "NOOOOO!!!" at the screen every time she was mentioned in 6x15).
Eddie's more complicated though. Let's say, hypothetically, they realized midway through shooting 6b that renewal wasn't likely with Fox, and they didn't know whether or not they'd be picked up by another network. Eddie's been on this little journey of self discovery about wanting a partner, and has accepted the fact that he's lonely. Ending the show with Eddie in his single status quo would be sad as hell for the GA! We have to remember, we are not the only ones watching this show, and the vast majority are not seeing buddie as romantic options for each other. That can change, I really hope it does change, I am optimistic that it WILL change; but it hasn't yet. If they were trying to wrap things up nicely, with everyone in a pretty good spot, I can see why shoving relatively-underutilized Eddie with a nice girl would be a good way to do that. Easy to undo if they got a s7, but also a lot easier to convince the GA of a love interest for Eddie being good for him, just because he's not as big of a deal to the show (which I hate. I love Eddie I want him to have the world. But Buck is the main character on this show, let's be real)
That's not to mention that this is all speculation; we don't have any idea what's gonna happen with these two women. I'm standing pretty firm in my belief that they won't end the season in relationships, but I could be wrong. And if I'm wrong about Eddie, I can see why they'd make that choice and I'm not even a little mad at it. If I'm wrong about Buck, and he ends up in a clearly doomed relationship with Natalia, I'm less cool with that, but I can see the opportunities for s7 and assume that they were working under the assumption that they'd get a renewal somewhere. If Buck ends up in a seemingly perfect and happy relationship with Natalia, my faith in the writers is gonna plummet, not because queerbaiting, but because they told us it was doomed in 6x15, and it would make it clear to me that the writers don't even know what kind of stories they want to tell on a micro, episode to episode level. But I really can't imagine that happening.
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earanie · 1 year ago
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ano-po · 2 years ago
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Tag yourself if you have an ex-friend who is probably listening to this song right now with you and your friend group in mind.
Bonus if this ex-friend has been recruited by a religious group, gets their laptop out while on a friend gathering to 'work', always brags about their 'life goals' when they can't even be functional and responsible, has been talking about investments and passive income, is addicted with 'productivity' videos, and has once admitted their envy towards some group members for having cars and affording travels.
Extra bonus if this ex-friend has once betrayed you in a school group project.
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wren-kitchens · 3 months ago
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more of a rant than a vent but could be venty anyway idk i’m being annoyed at stuff tonight GKFHD
#i’m just gonna be complaining a bit tbh#i’m fine btw like i’m not in danger or anything#in case anyone was worried GKDHS#anyway school is RUDE#I don’t really know?? how i’m meant to start school again??#cause I burned out Hard last year and I haven't really gotten any better at all#in fact I think I got worse KHFKD#so the fact that I now have Even More pressure seems. unhelpful to say the least#I genuinely don't believe i’m gonna do remotely well right now#cause I have learnt the hard way that I can’t just soldier through#cause I have tried that and I have Failed#I do have. what Might be help#in the vague future#because whilst the uk health system is free it is Severely underfunded and takes so long for anything to happen#and what does happen is enormously unhelpful most of the time#we have gone private but that's still taking weeks and weeks to even hear back#so I don’t actually know if i’m gonna get any outside support for like. months at best#honestly my least favourite part of this is all the uncertainty#because if anything is mildly uncertain I Will catastrophise#my dad does exactly the same thing GKFHS#I think I got Most of this from my dads side#cause both him and my nanan (his mum) are on antidepressants#and we're so sure he's the reason both me and my sibling have autism cause he has All the symptoms I do#anyway i’m Unsure about the future and that's like the most annoying thing i could be#but ig ill just see what happens??#hopefully it won't suck#wren wrambles#vent#rant#its probably more venty than ranty just based on the context
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4thbrighteststar · 3 months ago
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I wish I could listen to in between gracie abrams but it makes me genuinely actually sick to my stomach nauseous
#GET ME OOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT#vomit tw#team screams#guys i am so fucking sick of this#tell me how I spent the whole entire fucking day with my friends. 9 AM to 7 PM. 10 HOURS.#and I somehow feel more lonely than I did in the last TEN DAYS WHEN I DIDN'T SEE THEM#fucking. heads pushed together twirling each other’s hair nobody else in the room but god forbid anyone assume there's something there#and then turn around and flirt with me too. for funsies. bc why fucking not#SOMEONE DEADASS ASKED IF WE WERE IN A THROUPLE#A THROOOUUUUPPPLLEEEEEEEEEEEE#how did i FUCKIGJGJGNGGN GET HERE. HOOOOWWWWWWWW#im gonna start BITTITIIIJNGNGNGGHH#i dont fucking CARE i would rather be excluded!! i would rather you fucking made plans in front of me and then left me out to my FACE#instead of dragging my sorry ass with you Everywhere for some fuckass reason and then acting like im not even there#AND THEN WHEN I LEAVE. BC Y'ALL DON'T EVEN NOTICE. CHASE ME BACK AND SAY NOOO WHY'D YOU GO#bc im FUCKING TIRED BITCH#genuinely i hear 'I just can't come between them...they got their own thing' and i immediately get a stomachache and want to throw up#i wish. y'all fucking liked me. but more than that. I think I wish I didn't like you#bc why do i even CARE. i know better. i literally know better!! i have so many other friends I could be doing this with#and i LIKE hanging out with y'all but what fucking good does that do me when u guys don't even care if I'm there#and you don't have the GUTS TO TELL MEEEEEEEEEEHYSHSHSBFNFNFNFJ#and every time I hang out with them individually or we're all Actually hanging out as a group I have fun. we all do!#i fucking HATE third wheeling#im so dead serious take me out im not having fun. stop it. fucking stop it#but I can't say any OF THIS BC THEYRE BOTH REPRESSING IT TO HELL AND BACK. BUT THEY'RE NOT. SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE#ok im done. well no im still angry but i got so upset i tired myself out. so good night
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talkorsomething · 5 months ago
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genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#feels pretty much like the first night i got sick (remember that breakdown? lol) except this time i have Overcome the illness#mostly anyways.#but yeah i'm just. augh. not only do i have to deal with literal nightly thoughts of sh now i can't even sleep?!#my curse of Hearing Things immediately working against me the moment i can't hear things clearly#cause ... now i REALLY don't know whats going on#like i know it's not my business and shouldn't be my business but a) i live here and b) i have to hear it either way.#just ... yeah. now that we're probably as settled in as things are gonna get i REALLY do not feel like i'm meant to be here#not in general; as in this physical actual space. there's no thought that something should be made for all of us since they have work#& i ... well i do but [redacted]. so it's the work i make for myself mostly. but yeah so it doesn't matter if nobody sees me eat breakfast#(dont care about that anyways) and it doesnt matter that nobody sees me eat dinner (maybe i care A Little ok) because the whoooole rest of#the day is nebulous Lunch Time. and oh boy let me tell you. i'm not having that either#cause uhm. 'you can eat our food' only means so much until money comes into the equation#like BOY if i thought i was messed up about that before let me tell you: it has become Worse#i dunno. i try to have good days and yet the moment its Asleep Time i am someone completely different#like ... it's like seasonal depressiom but WORSE because theres SUNLIGHT and i LOVE SUNLIGHT#no yeah i think that's exactly the sort of thing i can liken it to now that i think of it#cause i always have like... seasonal issues when it starts gettin dark around 4-5ish range. except right now its summer so its NOT#wish i knew how to really be normal. then maybe at least if i wouldnt have good music making material i could like. meaningfully contribute#to my existence as a roommate#'i'm doing great' says man who is somehow Still Not#relatedly i think my next public facing breakdown is either gonna be about this still or about spinning in the pride parade. time will tell#....i can hear them AGAIN i know why IM up why are THEY#/bangs on wall Go To Sleeeeep leave me alone to also sleep T_T#that's ... that's a joke by the way i'm not doing that. i do feel more tired now so maybe i will have somewhat restful sleep. hopefully
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medicinemane · 8 months ago
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I'm very tired, I have to do everything around the house myself (as in, I keep having to turn the water off and on to the kitchen sink until I teach myself to install a new faucet, and negative cleaning gets done if I don't do it), and the money is in the hands of the third worst person in the whole family when it comes to money (the worst being my grandpa who is dead, and my grandma who blows all her money on overpriced jackets and other junk)
I'm very tired, I have to teach myself how to do everything, and I have almost literally no support in any way shape or form ever
I can't remember the last time anyone said they were proud of me... I don't actually know if anyone's ever used that word with me before. When I do something like get the trailer cleaned out or buy a house, frankly no one gives a fuck, except my grandma who gets mad
I haven't actually had a chance to see anyone that counts as a friend in like 15 years, and I mean even in high school everyone liked me but no one could be bothered to actually ever even talk outside school... so even back then it's not like I had anyone I was close with
I'm providing this version where I totally remove how I feel or how I view myself from the description and instead try to provide something close to an objective description of things
So if you wonder why I say what I say about myself, honestly I think it's pretty much all summed up here
#mm tag so i can find things later#also this is why you can maybe piss off instead of coming around here and saying I should get off the internet and go to therapy#in spite of how morose I am; I'm actively working to fix this stuff by... at least learning more of the skills I need#like... learn to replace a faucet; then at least I don't have the sink issue weighing me down#and maybe if I fix enough of it someday things'll be ok#although... in my mind no matter what I do I'll still be alone and unlovable; but that's just a description of how I view things#regardless of how I may feel; I am trying to do stuff to fix how I feel by trying to fix my situation#so like... if you're gonna come here and tell me I need to fix my mental health#may I respectfully say either you can lend me a hand or maybe you should mind your own business#cause what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?#not that anyone will read this or particularly care#not trying to be rude or something; just extrapolating past data to make a prediction#it's not that people here don't care or don't like me; it's just we're all busy with our own lives and no one really knows what to do#well I'm... I'm trying to write you a guide; I'm asking for help here#...to an extent it's totally fine if no one helps... but you kinda don't get to go around acting like you love being asked for help#I mean... you do; it's your life... but I'm just saying... this is me asking for help... yet again#but I expect nothing because that's what usually happens#I really don't mean to... to imply anything about anyone else; it's just descriptively I don't get help and I don't get support#and... based on all the information I have my model for the outcome of this says no one will even notice it#that tag of mine of things I can find later or whatever... it has me outright saying a number of things#...no one ever hears or listens#anyway; there it is... another pointless cry for help#...don't say I didn't warn you when I wind up killing myself one day#probably not anytime soon; maybe not ever... all I'm saying is don't pretend you didn't see it coming or like I didn't reach out#at least... as best I could... maybe I could have done better#like sure; could I walk up to specific people and say 'I need you to do this'; sure...#but I find... I find people just ignore it if I say that too#so I've given up; you know?#this is the best I can muster#don't say I didn't tell you
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sunni-stuff · 30 days ago
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Everything changed when that pregnancy test read positive.
The day you fumbled into his office, bearing what you thought to be bad news, John's excited face threw you for a loop.
Wasn't he supposed to be upset? Tell you that he didn't want to have a kid with someone he didn't fully care about? Why was he crying? Why did he embrace you so tenderly?
"I'll be there for both of you, Dovie," Price reassures in the nook of your neck, arms caging you against his chest.
Take care of both of you.
Both?
"M-Mr. Price, with all due respect—"
Price cuts off your protests. He leads you out of his office. His large hand grips your waist more possessively. "Go rest your feet up in the lounge; I'll take care of everything." His lips press to the crown of your head, ushering you away gently at the reception entrance.
You were supposed to have one fun night, not to be locked in for the rest of your lives.
Your days of working at a desk were replaced with John's house. It was far from the bustling base you had grown used to. The space was warm and homey. Bits of memorabilia were scattered about. Medals adorned the walls, and old photos sat on the shelves.
John said you only have one job now: making yourself at home.
There was so much space that you didn't know where to start or even how to start! It's not like there was a plan for having your boss's child! So much was happening so fast it left you overwhelmed, sitting on his couch with nervous hands. "Mr. Price, I'm really not sure about all this; I mean... what we did was a big mistake, right?"
From upstairs, you hear John laugh. He's been up there all morning, fixing the nursery for your child. He wanted to create a special room for them, saying that his kid deserves nothing but the best. Heavy footsteps announce his presence as he closes the distance between you. Calloused fingers grip your chin, forcing you to look into his ocean eyes. "You don't want this?"
His touch has you melting, words dying on your lips as you get lost in those eyes. God, why did he look at you that way? Churning like laundry, your gut writhes. A violent spin cycle grips your innards, knotting and wrenching them mercilessly. "I never—I never said that; I just think we're taking things too fast, don't you?" The half-hearted mumble escapes your lips, unconvincing even to yourself.
John's expression shifts; his eyebrow raises in slight scrutiny. "If you believed that, you wouldn't be here."
He's right.
"I do-"
He cuts in swiftly, voice firm. "You don't."
John's grasp tightens on your chin. He leans in, eyes intense. Your heart races. His lips brush yours. The kiss—chaste yet electric. A moment suspended in time. Emotions flood through you both, unspoken but palpable. "You have me. Whatever you want is yours, all you have to do is say the word."
John waits, poised for your word. His eyes betray a craving—silent, deep, and raw.
He belongs to you. He's all yours.
Your lips purse in a line, lip caught between your teeth.
Anything you want?
"I don't like the color of the nursey..."
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
P1
❥ I wasn't originally gonna do a part 2 but... I really like this one, next fic will be longer, possibly fluff and smut maybe who knows ❥
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uravichii · 8 months ago
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"best friends who kiss?"
character/s: bakugo katsuki
summary: recently, your best friend has been kissing you at random times. you have no idea why because he refuses to talk about it. either way, you're not about to let this to ruin your precious friendship.
genre & trope: fluff, best friends to lovers, angry confessions, reader is terrified of love but bakugo wants them so bad 😁, tw kind of ooc bakugo
a/n: i've been watching a lot of pride & prejudice and bridgerton scenes n i'm now obsessed angry confessions 🤩 + this is heavily inspired by that scene in little women :) ALSO i haven't posted in a year 😟 so pls be nice ik my writing's rusty in this :'D
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the first time bakugou katsuki kissed you, he pretended he never did.
"what... " you brush your fingers against your bottom lip, your whole face hot. "what the hell was that for?"
"what?" bakugo shrugs, feigning innocence as he takes a swig of his soda.
you try and trace back the events that could have led to the kiss.
you said something along the lines of: "i wish i had a boyfriend. i could definitely pull a cute guy off the street."
then you heard him scoff and say: "no man's sane enough to put up with your insufferable ass." ーor something more insulting than that.
you can't remember what you said in response, and you rack your brain to figure out what prompted him to grab your face and kiss you. it's impossible when all you can think about is the unexpected supple feel of his lips, its faint ghost still lingering on yours.
"that kiss, katsuki! you violated my mouth!"
"dunno what you're talking about. you hit your head or something?"
you blink and second-guess yourself for a second.
"okay, no. you're not gonna gaslight your way out of this." you swat his arm, earning an irked glare from him. "why the hell did you kiss me?"
"you're imagining things, idiot. this stupid game's givin' ya some serious brain damage for sure."
he stands up and swings his bag over his shoulder.
"where are you going? we're not done yetー!"
and he's out of the door.
was he drunk off his soda? maybe he kissed you to mess with your head. he's not that cruel though, you think. maybe he couldn't think of any other way to shut you upー that was something he always struggled with after all.
at least the second time bakugo katsuki kissed you, he was kind enough to warn you.
after enduring the most awkward hour-long study session with him, you decide to put an end to your agony by wrapping it up. you start gathering your things when he stops you with a calloused hand on your wrist.
"what?" you turn to him, your cheeks already heating up from his touch.
there are no thoughts you could read behind those vermillion eyes, and all of a sudden, you don't know your best friend very well anymore.
he walks some tentative steps closer to you until the back of your knees hit the table. he cradles your jaw with such delicacy you didn't even know he was capable of. he slips past your awaiting lips and presses his nose on the side of your head, his warm breath kissing your flushed skin.
"punch me in the face and scram if you don't want this, got it?"
you gulp and forget to answer if not for the gentle squeeze on your wrist. "y/n, you got it?"
"s-sure."
when you two kiss, it's different from last time. it's unhurried, curious, and so intoxicating. the kiss speaks: 'i want you. i want you. i want you' but whose thoughts are these?
he groans into your lips as if to urge you to keep up with the sheer hungriness that has consumed him. you try your best to do so as he deepens the kiss with a palm on the back of your head and practically drinks you in. he doesn't pull away until he hears the tiny whine that escapes you.
"shit, sorry." he mutters, avoiding your stunned gaze.
"t's okay."
"did i hurt you?" the quiet lilt of his voice surprises you.
"no, no. i'm okay, but why'd you kiー"
"bye." he blurts out as he turns to the door and leaves, as if he didn't just invaded your mouth and permanently tainted the years of friendship you two have had. you click your tongue as the heat subsides in your cheeks.
"son of a bitch."
the third time bakugo katsuki kissed you, you let him, and he didn't stop.
you had barely escaped death when you lost your footing while sparring with todoroki. naturally, bakugo yelled the poor guy's ear off and would have murdered him if eraserhead hadn't interfered at the last second.
now, you find yourself heaving in your bed. you don't know whether your hastened pulse is from the adrenaline rush or from the fact that bakugo is all over you right now.
he's planting feather-light kisses all over youー your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your eyelids, your hands, and your wrist, as panicked murmurs spill out of him in between kisses. 'you scared the hell out of me. you have no idea, fuck. are you okay? are you really okay? tell me you're okay, y/n.'
"i'm okayー" you barely manage to gasp before he dips his lips into yours, desperate and frantic. tremulous hands find solace in your hips as he holds you, gentle enough not to mar your injuries but snug enough to assure his restless heart that you are safe.
your head feels hazy. your limbs ache and lie motionless, and though your lips could barely move to reciprocate his kisses as much as you wanted to, bakugo didn't stop. you tried to ask him about it the next morning, but of course, he ignored you and walked away.
you don't know when he stopped kissing you that night. all you know is that there was a line that was crossed, and your friendship was never going to be the same again.
bakugo katsuki is going to kiss you again. your heart thrums incessantly. whether it's dread or anticipationー you don't know.
you think about the sensation of his lips that's become so familiar to you that you've learned to crave it. it shouldn't be familiar to you, and you sure as hell shouldn't want it. so you do what you think is necessary.
you kick him in the shin.
"motherfー!" sure enough, he's pissed. "what the hell is wrong with you?!"
"what the hell is wrong with you?!"
"i was going toー"
"no! you're not gonna kiss me again and walk away and pretend it never happened. you're messing with my head, katsuki! it's not funny!"
"wasn't trying to be funny!" he barks back.
"okay, so what exactly are you trying to do? what is this? i meanー" you stammer, struggling to find the words. "katsuki, what are we?"
he sighs and shifts his stance, his discomfort apparent. when the silence lingers on for too long, you speak.
"well, whatever it is that you want from me, we're going to stay friends. nothing more, nothing less. that's it." your breath hitches, and you don't know why you feel like crying as you speak. "... so i don't want your stinky mouth anywhere on me again."
silence weighs heavily between you. sometimes you wish you didn't know him too well, then the hurt he veils in his eyes wouldn't be so plain and vivid to you, and you would have walked away by now without an ounce of remorse.
"i like you, y/n." is all he could say when he finally speaks.
you shake your head. "no, you're just confused."
"i'm not confused. i like you."
"katsuki, you've been bitchless all your life, and i'm just the closest thing to a s/o. maybe go take a walk or something."
"i like you." he persists. "i've liked your stupid ass forー"
"stop saying that. you don't."
"i do, and you like me tooー"
"what?!" you laugh incredulously.
'who does this dumbass think he is?' is he right? surely, he's not. then what are you so afraid of in the first place? why have you been counting down the days until he kisses you again? why do you yearn for his touch as if it's something you own? why do you feel so infuriated and so tormented when he leaves the room after kissing you?
you do what is necessary again.
"you're delusional!" you yell at his face, a childish shrill that's awfully familiar to your childhood best friend.
"jesus christ." he inhales sharply in frustration. "you're a fucking pussy, y/n."
you clench your jaw and match his glare. anger surges in your chest and bleeds into your voice.
"i'm not the one who chickens out after kissing their best friend! you can't even acknowledge the fact that you kissed me because you'reー!"
"do you think i want to chicken out? why do you think i run away after kissing you?! if i stayed and confessed all this shit the first time, you would've refused to hear it like the damn coward you are!" he leans close to you, his voice lowering into a ragged snarl that quickens your pulse. "and you're just proving it right now, y/n. you're always going to shut this down and deny your feelings because you're a fucking pussy. you're terrified of relationships, and it's dumbest shit ever. pathetic, really."
you rear back from his words. if anything, you always thought it was katsuki who was afraid of love. now, you can't help but feel small and vulnerable underneath his searing gaze.
"it's not dumb..." you shuffle uncomfortably. "what, i'm supposed to ruin our friendship for a relationship that we're going to break off anyway?"
"we're not going to break it off."
"how do you know that?"
"because i'll be the best goddamn boyfriend in the world!"
"first of all, gross." you scoff. "second of all, it's never gonna work out! you're going to get sick of me in three days max."
"i've known you since we were brats, and i still want you."
"you literally said no man's sane enough to put up with my obnoxious ass."
he smirks. "i said 'insufferable ass'."
"katsuki!" you fight the urge to strangle him and punch that stupid smile off his face.
"wasn't even serious that time." he grimaces and reluctantly continues. "you know damn well you can pull any guy you want, and he'd be the luckiest bastard on earth."
if it were any other day, you'd grin at him and say 'i told you so,' but your lips remain unmoved, and your eyes stay dim. you're afraid you'll never go back to being the same katsuki and y/n again.
"this is pointless, katsuki. i mean, look! we're already fighting." you grouch and tell yourself you don't want this. "i still don't want us to happen so while this friendship is still salvable, let's agree to stay friends, and whatever sappy shit you feel for meー suck it up."
in one swift motion, he closes the distance between you, his face hovering dangerously over yours.
"suck it up?" he breathes, his face taut in frustration. "restraining myself from you is the hardest shit i've ever had to do. it takes everything in me not to kiss your stupid face!"
he shudders, weakly resting his forehead against yours as if this conversation alone has exhausted him. still, he goes on.
"and everytime i failedー everytime i kissed those lips, it was... a moment of weakness, but that's the fucking problemー you're just..." he buries his face into the crook of your neck, a desperate attempt to escape your wide-eyed gaze. "i'm weak for you, y/n. every second. and it drives me fucking insane that you keep running away from me."
he rises to meet your eyes again. the cadence of his voice changes into something weak and desperate, stripped of all the pride and anger he's ever known.
"i love youー fuck. i love you." he lets the words hang in the air, letting the words hear itself spoken because for once, you're not stopping him. "i love you, so please... let me."
after much thought and another agonizing minute of silence, you lean in to kiss bakugo katsuki.
he kisses back almost instantly and revels in the way you wrap your arms around his neck and bear your weight on him completely. he kisses back ardently, his pent-up desires and years of longing etched in the way he seeks your lips, kiss after kiss after kiss.
when you finally pull away, you're met with a devilish smirk, his begging eyes long gone. you wonder to yourself when you'll see those eyes again.
"took ya long enough." he kisses you again. he raises a brow at the way you're caging him in your arms. "jesus, no one's gonna snatch me from you."
"i'm making sure you don't run away again, dumbass."
"i won't." he says earnestly as he props his forehead against yours. "and you won't either. i'll make sure of that."
you nod your head with a giddy smile as he pecks your lips again.
"so..." you say as you exaggerate a pensive look, a cheeky grin spreading across your face. "we're best friends who occasionally kiss?"
he rolls his eyes. "you're impossible."
"recite that speech again, and i'll consider calling you my boyfriend."
"fuck off!"
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TAGLIST [1/2] @uxavity @joy-the-reader @kiiraes @escapenightmare @afk-dreaminq @avocamich @theboredvee @wonderwrench @ur-local-simp @p-ol @x0xuglyh0tgrl2005xoxo @cosmonettica @melin-oe @mitzi127 @lilac-o @r2katsu @bakucumsackslut @idunnomynamesince2005 @astralwaifu @taurus852 @creepyproxies @maycat-19-142 @stella-fleurets @veenxys @devilgirlcrybabiey @drawingaddict @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @lexiv-web @angelshimaa @izukus-gf @christiansdior @homosexualjohnwayne @uwiuwi @hirugummies @cupidines @loveisningning (bold couldn't be tagged)
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peachesofteal · 1 month ago
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Hello! Been enjoying your Through Me series, thanks for sharing it. Curious how Simon reacts to Mama having morning sickness and/or when the baby bump starts showing.
Hope you have a wonderful day!
Through Me (The Flood) - Simon Riley/female reader
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"I'm pregnant, not dying."
Simon's lips twist, trying to swallow a smile as he plucks Orion from your arms. "I know, mama. Still, he's huge. You don't need to be picking him up if you can't help it." You throw your hands in the air and your shirt rises, highlighting where your belly has started to change. He can't help but stare at it, warming with pride, with obsession, lust. You turn him into a madman. The bump has pushed him farther into the irrational, possessive, caveman part of his mind, more than he ever thought possible. You're his, all his, carrying his baby again, and it does wild things to him.
"What am I going to do when you're not here?" He frowns, and you place your palm on his hip, patting reassuringly. "Simon, I love you, but you're going to have to let go a little bit."
"I'm going to let go plenty when I leave for work." He huffs, reaching out to spread his hand across your belly. The swell is hardly pronounced, but still there, and it does a weird thing to his heart every time he touches it. You, and the baby. It clangs around in his chest like a wild drum.
He's sick at the idea of leaving you, and you read it on him. "We're going to be okay, Si. I promise." You can't promise that, just he can't promise anything either, but he'll hold tight to the hope.
"I know." Still, he doesn't let go. He leaves his hand sitting there, thumb rubbing circles into your belly, watching your eyes. You're tired. You've been sick, more sick than you were with Orion, and it's wearing you down, whittling your energy away. "You should rest." You glance at Orion reluctantly, and he kisses your temple. "I've got the rest of the night. Go lay down."
Simon snaps the last button closed on Orion's pajamas as he starts peeking around the room.
"Mamamamama-" Ry babbles, looking left and right for you. He always wants you before bed, wants to at least see you if you're not the one putting him down. Simon doesn't blame him. They're kindred spirits in that way.
"Alright little man, let's go say goodnight to mama." You're asleep on your side, a pillow wrapped up in your arms, and he carefully settles onto the bed, tilting forward so Orion can give you a kiss.
"Mama mama." He calls, and your lashes flutter, barely rousing to say goodnight with sleepy sweet smile.
"Hi baby." You reach, bringing him close. "Daddy tucking you in?"
"Had to say goodnight." He soothes a hand over your hip and down to your belly, gravitating towards it like always now. You're in no better shape than you were earlier, and worry twists in his gut. You've promised its normal, but it doesn't sit right with him.
"Okay, love you." You kiss Orion's cheek, holding the back of his head before letting go, looking up at Simon. "Coming to bed after?"
"Gonna clean up the kitchen and then I'll be in. Go back to sleep." He tries not to focus on the anxiety, trying to stay in these moments, these short moments that he'll need to hold onto for as long as possible.
At the door, he turns, watching you slip back under the waves of sleep. His baby in his arms, another one growing inside you, the entirety of the stars shining in the sky around their moon. You.
He makes it to bed an hour later. You're out like a light, sleeping like the dead, snoring, rolled onto your back now, arms and legs out like a starfish, and he tucks himself around you, shifting carefully to avoid waking you while still getting as close as he possibly can. He finds the bump again, flexing his fingers into soft flesh, breath fanning across your collarbone.
"She says you can hear us, you know. Not clearly I guess, but enough to know our voices. That's why she's always talkin' to ya. So you know who she is." He takes a deep breath. "She wants another boy but I think you're gonna be a girl. Have a feeling." You twitch with a small noise, and he kisses your neck to settle you. "Have to even out the odds around here, and you'll have a big brother to look out for you. Protect you, when you need it." He pushes Tommy from his mind as soon as he appears, burying the ghosts back to where they belong. Wounds heal, but scars can still hurt.
"You talking to him?" You murmur, and he holds you tighter.
"Her, yes. I'm talking to her."
"Mhmm." Your burrow your face in his neck and sigh. "Love you."
"Love you too mama."
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