#and i don't know if it's like something i should leave my comfort zone about

[anaalnathrakhs]

.

[always-just-red]

A multi-headcanon request please. How the boys react when they discover their s/o has been hiding a wound from them because she had it under control and didn't want to give them something else to worry about

Hi! Thanks so much for the request and all the support! Have written a little fic for each of the guys, starring... - Xavier, Deepspace Hunter extraordinaire ✨ - Linkon's worst best baking partner, Zayne 🍪 - Drama queen Rafayel 👑 - King of self-care, Sylus 💅

Putting On A Brave Face

L&DS Boys x Reader

Summary: Sometimes, a certain hunter likes to say things are fine when they definitely aren't...

Genre: A lil bit of angst, mostly fluff + comfort!

Warnings/Additional tags: female reader, established relationship, swearing, canon pet names, some injury details/blood mentioned, teeeeency bit of suggestion (I'm looking at YOU, Sylus...)

| Word count: 4k (1k each!) | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

Xavier ⭐

This is bad. Not ‘end of everything as we know it’ bad, but definitely ‘an obscene amount of paperwork’ bad.

You clutch one of your pistols to your chest— deep breath— and you listen carefully, your head leant back against the rock you’re using as cover. Your mind latches on to every sound: each growl, each rumble of earth that marks the movements of the Wanderers that have trapped you here.

You’ve fought worse odds, but then again, you don’t usually have to do it with a broken leg.

Or maybe just sprained? You shift a little, trying to move, and the pain that sears through you settles the debate in an instant. Your teeth sink into the back of your hand to keep you from crying out.

You hope Xavier’s ok. You sent him your co-ordinates minutes ago, and the lack of response has worry gnawing away at the deepest parts of you. You check your hunter’s watch.

Still nothing.

Another deep breath, and you readjust your position as much as you can. Balancing on your good leg, you manage to peer over the top of the rock to get a visual of your surroundings.

There’s four, no— five Wanderers. Stupid no-hunt zone; you’re never not outnumbered.

You can see your second pistol, abandoned in the middle of the clearing where you’d dropped it. There’s flickers of movement, too: further in the woods. More Wanderers. Shit.

You duck behind the rock you’re starting to think might be your new home. Then your watch flickers, broadcasting a map of the area, and there’s the co-ordinates of another hunter, closing in fast.

Something flashes in the clearing, lighting the dark of the forest like a stutter of lightning. Then again. Then again. There’s a blood-curdling roar, and it ends— abrupt— with another flash.

Everything goes silent, save for a familiar voice calling your name.

“Xavier!” you call back.

You peek over the rock to see your partner jogging towards you, dead Wanderers littered behind him. “Are you alright?” he asks, his voice soft as always, but his sword is still dripping blood.

“I’m ok.” You clamber up, using the rock as a seat when the small effort almost breaks you. “You?”

Xavier draws close— his gloved hands on your face, cupping your cheeks. His thumb grazes over a shallow scrape on your brow. “Yeah,” he answers.

“Did you find that weird Wanderer?”

He shakes his head: no. Steps back to check his watch. “It’s probably moved on to a different zone by now.”

“Then we should look for it,” you say, standing up. All of your weight is on one leg.

“Ah,” Xavier ponders, rubbing his neck, “really? I thought we should maybe head back.”

“No need.” And what’s the plan here, exactly? You can’t walk. You definitely can’t fight. Maybe you can wait here while he— no. He’s never going to leave you. “I told you I’m ok.”

“But you’re not.”

“I am,” you assert. You’re determined to convince him and your own, useless body. It’s just a sprain. It is just a sprain. You take a step forwards and stumble, your bad leg crumpling beneath you.

Xavier catches you, strong and solid, and he's holding you like you’re something delicate. He sets you down on the rock again. The pain is making your vision swim.

“You’re hurt,” he reasons gently, even though the truth of it is a knife that’s twisting in your heart. He seems to sense your reluctance: “There’s no shame in admitting that. It happens. Let’s go back.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m slowing you down, Xavier!” you gush. Your heart is split open and it has to bleed somewhere. “You have no idea what it’s like… being your partner.”

He’s looking at you with so much guilt and gods, you wish that somewhere was anywhere but his hands. “What do you mean?” he asks on a shaky breath.  

“I love working with you.” Soften the blow. “I love being with you, but you don’t need me. You’re this incredible hunter. This figure of legend, of everyone’s stories. You can do so much on your own and I just don’t know how to keep up. I mean, look at me— I can’t.”

You feel sick. Empty. “You shouldn’t have to hang back for me,” you finish limply. “You’re you, Xavier. You can fight like a hundred Wanderers and still come out unscathed.”

The blue of Xavier’s eyes has grown understandably more turbulent, though it settles a little. He seems to relax. “Yeah… about that,” he mumbles hesitantly.

He turns around and your mouth drops. A savage cut drapes like a crimson sash down his back, splitting the white of his uniform. It’s not deep enough to be fatal, but it’s not good, either.

“Wha— Xavier!” you exclaim, trying to surge forwards, but your pain keeps you rooted. “You said you were ok!”

“So did you,” he frowns, bewildered. “Can we get out of—”

“Yeah, yeah.” You let him take your arm and help you to your feet.

He leads you through the clearing and into the forest, supporting your weight as you hop along beside him. There’s a murmur about how he should carry you, but you’re quick to reassure him he’s doing enough. You’re both hurting; you both just need to survive the short walk out of the no-hunt zone, where a med team can take over.

“You don’t slow me down, you know,” Xavier says quietly, after a minute of silence. “You’re the reason I can keep going.”

You squeeze his arm affectionately, mustering a smile even though you’re nauseous with pain and the idea that he’s been dwelling on your speech this whole time. “Well,” you chuckle through gritted teeth, “you’re gonna have to learn how to get by without me.”

“Huh?” He gives you a curious look.

You glance down at your leg. “Zayne’s gonna kill me...”

Zayne ❄

“I’m a doctor.”

You stop what you’re doing to fix Zayne with a questioning stare. “Ok…?”

“I’ve published dozens of research papers. Pioneered new surgical techniques. My work on Evol-based regenerative properties still has lasting implications for my field, and I’ve the accolades to show for it. The Starcatcher Award. The Linde Award, too— I was the youngest ever recipient.”

None of this is news to you, and you can’t help chuckling at this change in your usually-humble physician. You humour him: “The youngest ever recipient, huh?” There’s a crack as you split an egg on the side of the bowl in front of you. “That’s very impressive.”

“Is it?”

Zayne stands from his seat at your kitchen table: you hear the chair draw back. You feel his presence arrive behind you as you continue to stir your soon-to-be cookie dough. “Yeah,” you lilt with a smile.

“Really?” he pushes again, and his arms wrap around you as he bends to speak into your ear. “Because someone seems to think I can’t even recognise a—” he nips at it— “sprained ankle.”

His breath is warm on your neck and you let out a giggle. “Keep speaking to me like that and these cookies are never making it into the oven. Or your stomach.”

The man relents. He releases you, not returning to his seat but opting to lean against the kitchen counter instead. You glance up at him; he stares back, waiting for an actual answer.

“My ankle is fine, Zayne.”

There’s a sigh as he crosses his arms.

“It is,” you insist, even though you did sprain your ankle at work today, it does hurt like hell, and you do just want to sit down. You reach for the flour you’d measured out previously, tipping it into the larger bowl. “If it wasn’t, would I really be here— making you cookies?”

“Yes,” he says plainly.

“You’re delusional.”

“Ok.”  

Well, that was a little too easy. Don’t overthink it, and definitely don’t read into the fact that he’s standing there oh-so-smugly, like he knows something you don’t. You finish stirring the flour into the mixture, then add the last of the ingredients. Just a pinch of salt, and then…

Where did you put the chocolate chips? You glance about yourself but they’re nowhere in sight. “Hey, Zayne? Have you seen the—”

“This cupboard,” he indicates with an upwards nod of his head. His eyes are relentless. “Top shelf.”

Ah. That’s ok. You’ve totally got this. You move beneath the cupboard, opening it and gazing up into the contents. You can see the pack of chocolate chips. You can get up there somehow, right?

“Would you like me to—” Zayne starts, but you cut him off:

“Nope.” You put your hands on your hips. “Please— if I can climb the back of an alive, awake, and very angry deluge wyrmlord to put a sword through its skull, I think I can make it onto the kitchen counter in one piece. Lemme just…”

Your knee lifts. You make it about a centimetre from the floor before Zayne’s hands are on your waist, grounding you. “Stop,” he instructs, and it's not a tone that allows for any rebuttal. Satisfied by your silence, he brings the chocolate chips down to you.

“Thanks,” you say quietly as they’re placed on the counter.

“You’re welcome."

Sheepishly, you spill a generous amount of chocolate chips into the cookie mixture. Your throat hurts in the way that keeps you from saying anything more. You already feel like an idiot, and your eyes are watering, threatening to make you look like even more of one.

Zayne’s hand appears in front of you, hovering over the bowl. You laugh in understanding: giving the half-empty bag another shake so chocolate chips fall into his palm.

“You… don’t have to explain yourself,” he says as he lifts them to his mouth. His next words are muffled: “But you can tell me anything, my love. I never want you to feel as though you can’t.”

You chuckle again; you can’t help yourself. Look at him: your oh-so-serious doctor shovelling chocolate into his mouth. He raises an eyebrow at you, his lips still on his palm.

“I know I can tell you anything,” you smile, the ache in your throat receding, however much the rest of you hurts. “I did sprain my ankle. It’s not that I wanted to hide it from you, it’s just—” you stop stirring the mixture— “it’s just that your whole life is taking care of people at the hospital. You should get a break from it. You should get to be Zayne, here… at home. Just Zayne, not Doctor Zayne.”

Zayne’s hazel eyes have taken on a hue of regret. He pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, buying himself a few seconds as he contemplates. “Are you a doctor?” he asks after a moment.

“No?”

“And yet, here you are, taking care of me.” He reaches for the abandoned packet of chocolate chips. “Tell me, does it feel like work to you?”

“Yeah,” you tease, drawing the packet away from his stretching fingers in explanation; you’re both grinning.

“Well, it never feels like work to me. Just Zayne likes taking care of you. And right now? He wants to bundle you up on the sofa and finish these cookies for you.”

You purse your lips: that’s some dubious wording. “Zayne, hell will freeze over before I leave you and this cookie dough unsupervised.”

He shushes you, pulling on the cord of your apron until the bow at your back comes loose. Before you can protest, he’s wearing the apron himself.

“Zayne, I’m not kidding. I know what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna get rid of me, and then you’ll—”

“Shh,” he coos again, whisking you carefully off your feet, because it’s time for a taste of your own medicine. “You’re delusional.”

Rafayel 🔥

“Mmhmm. Mmhmm.”

“Raf, who are you—”

He holds out a finger to shush you. “Mmhmm.”

You cross your arms impatiently. Who is he even talking to, anyway? His lilac eyes are locked on you as he continues humming away, apparently very invested in whatever the person on the phone is saying; you’ve never seen him go this long without talking.

He narrows his eyes at you. You narrow your eyes right back.

All around you, guests of the exhibition are milling about, all dressed to the nines and minding their business, however much they want the attention of the man in front of you. A few of them linger as they pass him, like they want to say something, like they’re going to say something…

But they don’t.

It’s a wonder that Rafayel stands out in the crowd as much as he does. You’d seamlessly located him, back from your third trip to the bathroom to check on the bandages you’ve managed to conceal beneath this dress. He’s still holding your purse for you, his phone in his other hand, except—

That’s your phone. That’s your phone! “Rafayel!”

He shushes you again. “I understand,” he says solemnly, notably not to you, “thanks for letting me know.” The call is ended. He takes a deep, collected breath, then looks at you. “I knew it!”

“Knew what? Who was that?”

“Zayne.”

“You called Zayne?”

“Like I had a choice!” Rafayel retaliates. It is true; he’s spent the entire evening trying to get you to admit something was wrong, and you had no intention of giving him that pleasure. “You’re supposed to be in the hospital! What kind of idiot breaks out of the hospital?”

The lack of irony in the question almost breaks you. “Umm… you?! Like every other week?!”

He shrugs. “That’s different.”

“Rafayel, I swear, I’m gonna— ah!” you gasp in pain. You’d stepped forwards too quickly— maybe to strangle him, but that’s neither here nor there— and the wound on your side is clearly on his side. It stings like hell: punishing you, and you know the pain is self-inflicted.

Rafayel frowns in concern, maybe even guilt, and that’s why you didn’t tell him. “C’mon, we should go,” he insists gravely.

“It’s fine, Raf. It doesn’t even—”

“Stop lying! You said you wouldn’t hide stuff like this from me. You promised, remember?”

You’re losing track of all the promises you’ve made to the Lemurian, but you do remember that one. Guilt has its teeth in you, too. “I know,” you grumble, “I’m sorry, ok? I just knew—”

“What?”

“That you’d act like this! You’ve been working on this exhibition for months, Raf. Tonight is supposed to be about you. Not me— you. And I want it to stay that way. Everyone’s here to celebrate you and your work, and that’s how it should be. That’s what I want. To support you. To be here for you.”

Your voice has gone timid. You finish meekly: “Can’t you let me do this for you? Please?”

Rafayel’s eyes are wide and still the prettiest things you’ve ever seen, even in a room full of masterpieces and jewels you could never afford. They shine with uncertainty, but soften as he smiles, full of fondness and affection. “That’s sweet. But also? Really dumb.”

“Raf—”

“The only— and I mean only— reason I’m here tonight is because you are. I don’t care about what anyone thinks about me or my paintings. Just you. And you can see this?” He gestures around the gallery. “Anytime. My life’s your private exhibition, cutie. Exclusive access, 24/7, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

He steps closer to you: close enough that he can see the tear that’s made it halfway down your cheek. He wipes it away with a chuckle. “Plus,” he adds, “I know you know I’m amazing. You don’t need these old sourpusses to tell you that, do you?”

You laugh tentatively. “No, I don’t.”

Your injury protests as you use the lapels on Rafayel’s blazer to pull him closer; you have to stand on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He’s still grinning as he draws away, a light blush on his cheeks, but the sweetness of the moment vanishes as his gaze drifts lower.

“My eyes are up here, Rafayel.”

“Yeah…” he concedes mindlessly, but then he points: “you know you’re like, bleeding, right?”

You glance downwards to where the red of your dress is turning darker. There’s just a small splotch, but it’s growing. Shit. You must have reopened the wound.

“Thomas?” you hear Rafayel call, and then he’s stuffing a silk handkerchief into your hands— helping you apply pressure. “We have to get out of here,” he explains as a figure joins you.

His agent folds his arms; this is not dissimilar to stunts you and Rafayel have pulled before. “Fake blood, guys? Really?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You can’t leave, Rafayel. I can just see the headlines tomorrow…”

“Dashing artist selflessly flees exhibition to save devoted bodyguard,” Rafayel concurs with a nod.

Thomas groans. “That’s not what they’re going to—”

“Help me out with this, cutie?”

“Yes, sir,” you mock salute.

A moment later, Rafayel has scooped you up into his arms. Your hero; he gives you a conspiratorial wink before glancing about frantically. “Quickly!” he cries out. “Everyone out of the way, please!”

“For the love of—” Thomas starts.

“Oh, gods!” you shout in agony. “It hurts. It hurts!”

Heads turn. Cameras flash.

Tomorrow morning, half of Linkon will be talking about one of their favourite celebrities and his long-envied bodyguard. A news article will pop-up on her doctor’s phone, and he’ll see the pictures and sigh.

Sylus 🩸

“It’s not too late to back down, sweetie,” Sylus sneers.

“Aw, but you got all dressed up for the occasion.”

Your eyes rake over the outline of the man’s abs, courtesy of the tank top he’s wearing, and it does take the sting out of the fact that he’ll be trying to hit you. He holds his wrapped hands before him, ready to defend, ready to attack. He’ll probably attack, right?

“Last chance,” he growls.

“Is it, though?” This is the third ‘last chance’ you’ve been given in the five minutes you’ve been teetering on combat. You beckon him with a curl of your fingers. “Come on, Sylus. This is getting old.”

He scoffs: “How do you think I feel?”

“Like you’re about to get your ass kicked?”

“Alright, enough.” His hands drop and it feels like you’re back at the academy, about to be scolded for not taking something seriously. Sylus turns his back on you. Moves to the edge of the boxing ring so he can retrieve a stool from outside of it and sit down in a huff. He starts peeling the wraps from his knuckles, and— wait, is he mad? Like, actually mad?

“What’s wrong, Sy?”

He laughs as though you’re missing something dreadfully obvious. Maybe irony.

“Sylus?”

“You really are heartless, sweetie. You know that?”

The words steal your breath away, if only for a moment. Yours is a relationship of pulled punches, but he won’t meet your gaze and that one was real, wasn’t it? He wanted it to sting. “Why—”

“I could have hurt you,” he snaps, his dishevelled, snowy hair falling to cover his eyes. His discarded wraps slide from his hands, pooling by his feet like blood. “You were going to let me hurt you.”

He looks at you, finally, but it’s not in the way you want. His gaze is cast low, trailing over your body and making you feel every bruise, every closed cut that wants to reopen and every ache, rooted almost to bone. You’d done your best to hide it, even going so far as to press make-up hastily over your purpled skin.

That Wanderer really did a number on you yesterday.  

“You should have told me,” Sylus says, since you’ve made it onto the same page. “Honestly, kitten. Why would you—”

“Because Luke and Kieran told me, ok?”

Oh, they’re going to kill you. It was supposed to be a secret, and here you are, spilling like a fresh wound because you can’t stand the thought of Sylus being upset with you. You step closer, scrambling to dissect what you’ve done right in front of his eyes— holding it out to him: this is why. This is why. “They said you had a rough week. Some deals of yours had fallen through or something. And I’ve been too busy. I haven’t called, I haven’t even texted, and…”

You need him to understand, but the truth is a mess in your hands and how do you even start to explain it to him?

“You wanted to do something for me,” he finishes for you, and you don’t have to explain a thing.

“Yeah…” you confirm, bittersweet and still sad. “You do so much for me, Sylus. I just wanted to do what you wanted, for a change.”

Maybe it’s a round of boxing. Maybe it’s a dozen illicit dealings where he needs you to play enforcer— it doesn’t matter. As long as he’s happy.

“Come here,” he orders gently.

You close the rest of the rift between you, letting him reach for you and pull you closer. His knees have spread so you can slot against him, and his arms circle around you— trapping you— as he nuzzles into the warmth of your stomach.

“I’m sorry I called you heartless,” he speaks into you, his voice muffled as he gives you a chaste kiss. He then cranes his head upwards, resting his chin against you so he can profess more clearly: “I do worry about you, kitten.”

“I know—” your hands move to his head— “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“Mmm,” he hums in accordance, maybe even forgiveness, and his eyes close as your fingers card through the soft of his hair. “I lied too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he confesses on a contented sigh. “I didn’t want to spend today… boxing.”

“What do you want to do today, Sy?”

His eyes flicker open and his hands find your hips. “What I really want…” he contemplates, as his thumbs slip under the hem of your shirt to rub circles on your skin, “is to take care of you.”

There are lifetimes of need in his gaze.

“Won’t you let me take care of you, sweetie?”

…

“If he finds the terms so disagreeable, then he’s more than welcome to take his business elsewhere. Although—” Sylus’s voice is cold— “he might find his other options less… amenable than when he saw them last. Less communicative, too. You can tell him I said so.”

He ends the phone call. Smiles. “Sorry about that, sweetie.”

“Are the boys ok?”

The smile widens, even though you can’t see it. “They’re fine.”

Phone set aside, Sylus carries on with the important business Kieran’s call had distracted him from. You’re half asleep, your head in his lap as he brushes your hair: rose-scented and soft from the bath he’d drawn for you, hours ago. Every bandage is fresh and clean. Every ache has been dulled with a lazy massage and more chaste kisses, for good measure.

“Perfect day,” you mumble blissfully.

“Perfect day,” Sylus agrees.

[smileysuh]

heart aches

🌙 starring. Jeong Jaehyun x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. Your ex finds your sweet spot as easily as ever, as if it hasn’t been two years since his tongue stroked this specific patch of skin and made your whole body tingle with pleasure. You let out a shaky sigh, threading your fingers through his hair and relaxing against the pillows. “Don’t leave me again,” you whisper. “Never again,” he promises.

tw/cw. foreplay, fingering, mutual masturbation, hand job hand fucking, spitting, finger sucking, inklings of oral fixation, praise, dirty talk, pining, reminiscing, breast worship, teasing, Jae being a simp, unprotected sex, handholding while fucking, Jae is pretty vanilla but pent up as hell, etc… I pet names: (hers) baby.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 5.3k

🍭 aus. ex's to lovers, non idol au, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. I don't normally do angst, but Idk, this felt right for some reason this month

Prologue:

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asks, watching you fiddle around the bedroom while he cuddles with your cat on the bed. 

Part of you wants to push back your feelings - you’d kind of been hoping to talk to him at the airport in the morning - but you should have known Jaehyun would realize something is up with you. It’s been a nice long weekend having him home with you.

It’s almost been like he never left.

Almost.

With a deep sigh, you go to sit on the foot of your mattress, staring down at your hands. “I can’t do this anymore,” you say quietly.

The room feels achingly silent, and then the comforter ruffles as Jaehyun sits up. “This?” he asks. 

“Us.” The word hurts to even say. “The distance… I mean, I knew continuing our relationship while you’re in a different city at a new university doing your graduate program would be rough… but… I just didn’t know I’d ever feel this lonely.”

Tears are welling in your eyes. You don’t want to break up with Jaehyun- he’s had your heart for four years. Starting over with someone new sounds impossible- but at the same time, being away from him hurts more than you could ever have imagined. It hurts when he calls you every night, being the perfect boyfriend, smiling and telling you about his day. It hurts because you thought you’d go through life together- you thought you’d be there to see it all yourself, not hear about it after the fact on the phone.

“Come here,” Jaehyun says softly, moving your cat off his lap so he can open his arms to you.

You allow Jaehyun to pull you into an embrace, his fingers stroking your hair. His heart is thundering in his ribcage, and you can hear it as you cuddle closer.

“I’m sorry that it came to this,” he breathes, “but I understand.”

You can’t help the tears now, and a choked sob escapes you. You grab at the front of his soft hoodie, wanting to crush the emblem of his new school. Part of you wishes he’d never been accepted into the elite business graduate program, but another part knows that Jaehyun deserves to be where he is now.

You love him, more than you’ve ever loved anyone, and that’s what makes this so painful.

Jaehyun needs to focus on his studies, to build a new life for himself across the country- and you need to do the same. You can’t be a ghost anymore, walking through life like a zombie and waiting to hear from him, constantly checking the time zone differences and calculating what he’s doing based on schedules.

“I can still…” you rub at your eyes, swallowing thickly, “I’ll take you to the airport in the morning-”

“It’s okay, baby,” Jaehyun shushes you gently, kissing the crown of your head. “I can get a cab.”

“Are you angry at me?” you ask, pulling away from his chest to look up at his face, worried about what you might find there.

“Of course not,” Jaehyun assures you, immediately stroking a thumb across your cheek to wipe away your tears. “No matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, I knew things had changed when I moved away. I could see that the distance was a problem. You have needs, and I’m proud of you for voicing them, even if it hurts.”

“My heart is breaking,” you whimper.

Jaehyun frowns. “Mine too.”

“You’re really not mad at me?”

“I could never be mad at you,” Jaehyun promises. “I think it will be easier to talk about this with time, if that’s something you’d be interested in. But for now, how do you feel about just laying down, holding each other, and doing our best to enjoy tonight- if it’s going to be our last.”

It might be easier if he was mad at you, if he yelled and swore and tried to make you change your mind- but Jaehyun’s never been an abusive type. Instead, he holds you close, and as you softly cry on his chest, you begin to drift off to sleep.

One

Even in a crowded bar, one distant laugh makes your blood run cold. You grip your drink, heart thundering in your rib cage as you scan your surrounding area.

It’s been two years since you broke up with Jaehyun. Even so, you’d recognize his voice anywhere.

“You good?” your best friend asks, reading your change in expression.

“Yeah, I just thought I heard-” as you’re about to say his name, you spot Jaehyun. He’s leaning against the bar top, chatting with a man whose back is to you.

God, he still looks so good. 

Your chest aches, throat going dry. As you watch him, his eyes move to take in the bar. You’re quick to shift your gaze, lifting your drink to your lips to down the rest of it. 

“I need to get out of here,” you mutter.

“What? Why?” Your friend reaches for your arm, pulling you closer to check in on you.

“My ex is here.”

“Which one?”

“Which one do you think?” You let out a laugh, but there’s no humor in it.

“Fuck.” 

“Yeah. Listen, have fun, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” You hand her your empty glass, giving her one last look before you turn to head to the entrance of the bar. 

You can feel eyes on you as you push through the crowd, but you chalk it up to being paranoid. You slip through the front doors, intent on hailing a taxi. As you make it to the cement sidewalk, you hear your name behind you, and that familiar voice has your blood running cold for a second time tonight.

“Y/N?”

Your whole body freezes, and for a moment, you truly consider running. But you’ve already run from Jaehyun once before, and you don’t have it in yourself to do it again.

With a deep breath, you turn to face your ex, your first love, the man you’ve never recovered from.

“I thought that was you,” Jaehyun mutters quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he stares at you.

You don’t even know what to say, so you keep your mouth shut, taking in his pretty face and the broad set of his shoulders. 

“Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have followed you,” he admits finally. “It doesn’t look like you want to talk.”

Jaehyun turns to head back inside, and your body reacts on its own accord; you grab at his arm, and it makes him stop. He looks down at your hand, wrapped around his forearm, then up at you.

“We…” you swallow thickly, “we can talk. I just… I don’t know what to say.”

“That makes two of us.” 

You drop your hand from his arm when you realize he’s not going anywhere.

“I uh…” Jaehyun clears his throat. “I got back to town a month ago. Meant to message you- but I didn’t know what to say then either.”

“You completed your program?”

“Yup. With flying colors.”

“I guess I always expected you to be a big shot and move to some other city- what are you doing back here?”

“Unfinished business… maybe.” Jaehyun dips his head, looking down at the ground. You watch him absentmindedly kick at an old cigarette butt.

He can’t be talking about you… can he?

“Anyways,” Jaehyun meets your eyes again, “how’ve you been?”

“I’ve been…” you search for the right word, “okay.” 

“Yeah? Happy?”

“Sort of. You?”

Jaehyun shrugs, offering you a lopsided smile that makes your heart ache. “Sort of. It was two years of studying. Didn’t have much time for extracurriculars, as you know.”

So your breakup is still a sore spot for him, you can sense it in his words. He’s not outwardly saying it, but… it’s there all the same. There’s something of an apology in his statement, because you do know how hard it was for him to find time for things outside of school- it had been the main reason you’d had to call things off with him.

“How about you?” he presses. “Any uh… any protective boyfriend who’s about to show up and beat my ass?”

You can’t believe he’s asking you outright about this, and the question actually makes you let out a small laugh. You shake your head. “No. No boyfriend.”

“Good. I mean… I hoped you were happy, but uh, you know, it’s nice to hear that, well, you know what I mean.” Jaehyun looks down again, and you can see his ears turning red.

It’s as clear as day that Jaehyun still cares about you. The way he’s acting tells you everything you need to know… well, almost everything.

“So…” you wrap your arms around yourself, “are you planning on leaving again? Do you know how long you’ll be in town?”

“Nothing is set in stone,” Jaehyun admits, cocking his head to the side as he looks at you. “Listen, I’m just going to say it.” He takes a deep breath, meanwhile, you can’t even breathe. “I never got over you. I mean, how could I? You’re everything, and- I understand why we broke up, I really do. But my program is over now, and if you give me another chance, I promise not to go anywhere ever again, at least, not without you right there by my side.”

“Jaehyun-”

“If you need some time to think about it, I totally get that-”

Jaehyun goes to take a step back, and you find yourself grabbing at him once more. Your body simply can’t let him go- not now, not ever again.

Your ex looks down at your hand on his forearm, and as you open your mouth to give him your response, no words come to mind. Your gaze dips to his lips, and before you know what you’re even doing, you’re moving in to kiss him.

Jaehyun is frozen in place at the initial meeting of your lips, but after a moment, you feel his body relax. His hands gently slip to your waist, tugging you closer as he slants his mouth against your own. You feel him release a small groan, and a whimper bubbles in your chest.

How many times have you dreamt of this moment? How many times have you thought about kissing Jaehyun? 

Your arms wrap around the back of his neck, and you allow yourself to get lost in the feeling of him-

Someone lets out a whistle, and you roughly pull back from Jaehyun, your eyes finding the two bouncers outside the bar, who are staring at you with wolfish grins.

“Is there somewhere we can go to talk?” Jaehyun asks, resting his forehead against your own.

“Come home with me.”

Two

It feels like deja vu to be walking into your apartment with Jaehyun. You’ve had the same unit for years- and you know it must feel even weirder for your ex to be here again after practically living here with you for half of your time in university together. 

As you toss your keys onto the entryway table, you hear a familiar meow. Your cat slinks in from the kitchen, but instead of heading to you, she immediately moves toward Jaehyun’s feet, letting out an obnoxiously loud purr as she begins to rub against him.

“Looks like Mittens hasn’t forgotten me either,” Jaehyun smiles, immediately bending down to pick up the fluffy grey and white kitty. She leans into his touch, purring like an engine as he scratches he cheeks. Her paws begin to make softies on his arm, and it makes your heart ache.

You’ve dated a few guys casually in Jaehyun’s absence, and Mittens has never liked any of them. She always was a daddy’s girl- after all, you’d started dating Jaehyun only a few months after you’d picked her up from the shelter. 

You still have pictures of the two of them on your phone, hidden in a secret file- you’d never had the heart to delete them, and as you watch their reunion, you’re glad you never did.

“She missed you,” you admit. “We both did.”

You watch Jaehyun’s Adam’s apple bob with effort, your words clearly invoking emotion. You’re quick to look away.

“Can I get you anything?” you ask, kicking off your shoes. “I had a few drinks at the bar, was planning on making a grilled cheese-”

“You still do that?” Jaehyun asks.

“Yeah.” Your throat feels dry admitting another ghost of your past you still haven’t been able to shake. “I still do that.”

Grilled cheese after a night out had always been your thing, and when you’d started dating Jaehyun, it had become his thing too. You can’t even count how many nights the two of you came home from university parties only to make a grilled cheese and collapse on your bed, giggling and kissing like kids in love.

“A grilled cheese sounds perfect,” Jaehyun says. “Thank you.”

He follows you into the kitchen. As you begin to make the late-night snack, you realize Jaehyun has no intention of putting Mittens down. She basks in his attention, letting out upset chirps any time he tries to stop petting her to help you in small ways.

Jaehyun asks you about your job, and from that, the two of you begin to talk about your lives over the past two years. It feels too natural to slip into this type of conversation. His presence is so calming and familiar- by the time you’re done making the grilled cheese for you to share, it’s almost as if the past two years never happened. 

It’s almost as if you never left him.

Almost as if he never left you first.

“Do you want to eat in here?” Jaehyun asks, heading to the small kitchen table.

“We can go to my bedroom,” you say softly. “Unless you wanted to be here.”

“Your bedroom is good.” 

He follows you through your apartment, but when you get to your room, he stops in the doorway.

“I can’t get over how little this place has changed,” he muses, looking at the layout of the space.

“Yeah,” you sit down on your bed, lifting your legs onto the mattress and setting the plate by your knee. “I guess I’m used to it like this.”

Jaehyun knows all too well how comfortable you get, how hard it is for you to make changes. You think it must be one of the reasons he never fought the breakup. If you’d gotten to the point of needing an emotional separation to deal with the physical distance, pushing you to change your mind would have only made things worse.

“Can we come sit with you?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course.” You gesture to the mattress. “Make yourself at home, Jae.”

With a small chuckle, he comes to join you. He’s careful when he sets Mittens down, and she immediately stretches, letting out a massive yawn before coming to investigate the grilled cheese.

Jaehyun reaches for his half of the sandwich. “I missed these.”

“It’s just a grilled cheese,” you laugh.

“Yeah, but there’s something special about the way you make it. I can’t explain it.”

You can only offer him a smile as you both lift the gooey, cheesy, greasy, crispy bread to your lips. The crunch is satisfying, and Jaehyun shifts the food to his right hand so he can pet Mittens with his left. 

The two of you eat in silence, but there’s nothing uncomfortable about it. As your meal comes to a quick end, your phone begins to ring, and you stand up to answer it. “Give me a sec,” you tell him, exiting the room while Mittens rushes to follow you.

“Hey girl,” your best friend says. “You okay?”

“I’m good.”

“Seeing your ex must have been pretty hard.”

“Actually, uh…” you look toward your open bedroom door, swallowing thickly then lowering your voice, “he’s at my apartment with me.”

“What!?”

“Yeah, we’re talking things out.”

“Just talking?” You can hear the cheeky grin in her voice.

“Don’t be like that,” you laugh.

“Girl, you and that man were a dream couple. He’s the one that got away, and now he’s in your apartment- he’s probably sitting on your bed, eating grilled cheese-”

“God, stop,” you groan. “Am I that predictable?”

“Nah, it was hashtag just couple things. Okay, look, obviously you’re doing good- I was worried you were somewhere crying and drowning yourself in booze. I’ll leave you be. Say hi to him for me.”

“Will do.” You hang up, looking down at Mittens. She’s circling your feet, and with a sigh, you go to refill her food bowl. You’d given her lunch hours ago, and you feel bad that she just watched you down a grilled cheese with nothing for her own little mittens to get a hold of.

Also… your best friend knows you too well. 

Your body is reacting to Jaehyun as if there was never a separation- or maybe, your body is reacting because there was a separation. Your pulse is picking up with each step back to your bedroom, and when you close the door behind you, Jaehyun cocks a brow, finishing his grilled cheese with one last large bite.

“You good?” he asks.

“I’m great,” you tell him, approaching the bed.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun’s gaze moves to the closed door, and he offers you a dimpled grin, mischief flaring on the edges of his expression. “You locked out Mittens.”

Nothing gets past this man. You’ve never loved getting intimate while Mittens is trying to hog Jaehyun’s attention, and you shouldn’t be surprised that he got you figured out the moment you closed the door to your bedroom.

“Don’t even with me, Jae.” You sigh, collapsing onto the mattress next to him while he moves the grilled cheese plate to the side table.

“Look, I don’t want you to feel any pressure just cuz I’m here and we’re sitting on your bed-”

“Does it look like I feel pressure?” you ask, hyper-aware of the way your dress is riding up your thighs.

Jaehyun gives you a slow once-over. “I guess not.”

“You really mean what you said about not going away a second time?” You look down. “Because I don’t think I could take it if we gave this another try and three months down the line you moved cities again.” 

Your ex nods. “I promise. If you give me one more chance, I won’t let you down.”

You stare at Jaehyun for a moment, studying the sincerity on his face. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You open your arms, resting back against the pillows and spreading your legs. “Now come here.”

Jaehyun practically leaps on top of you. He slots between your thighs like he was made to be there, his mouth pressing to your own while you wrap him in a tight embrace. He kisses you like he’s been starved of your lips. 

He retains some of the gentleness that he’d exhibited outside of the club, but there’s a desperation too, you can almost taste it on him… along with the grilled cheese.

The thought makes you smile, and Jaehyun breaks the kiss to look down at you, also grinning. “What?”

“Nothing, just- I’m happy.”

“Me too,” he admits, looking down at your beaming face before he grabs your jaw between his thumb and forefinger, angling your head to the side so he can access your neck. Your ex finds your sweet spot as easily as ever, as if it hasn’t been two years since his tongue stroked this specific patch of skin and made your whole body tingle with pleasure. 

You let out a shaky sigh, threading your fingers through his hair and relaxing against the pillows.

“Don’t leave me again,” you whisper.

“Never again,” he promises, voice husky in your ear.

His hand slides down the curve of your body, grasping at your thighs and slowly pushing your dress up. Your hips move, rutting in an attempt to spur him on. When his fingers finally find your core through your panties, you swear you see stars. He begins to rub your clit, circling it as he applies more and more pressure. 

His mouth continues on your neck, and you begin to whimper from the stimulus.

You’d nearly forgotten how good it feels to be touched by someone who knows you inside and out- by someone who cares about your pleasure more than he’s ever cared about his own.

“Jae,” you whimper, breathing heavily as he rubs your core. 

“Yes, baby?” His lips are gentle along your throat, and the feather-light touch almost teases you more than a rougher one would.

“Can we skip the foreplay? I need you.”

Jaehyun’s fingers stop on your clit, and he pushes himself up on an elbow, looking down at you with a quizzical set to his brow. “Skip the foreplay?” he repeats, letting out a scoff. “Baby, I’ve been thinking about what I’d do to you if you ever gave me a second chance for over two years. We’re not skipping the foreplay.”

“But-”

“Please don’t argue with me. Just let me have this. Just let me enjoy the body I’ve missed so much. I’ve missed your sounds, the way you react to my touch-” his fingers pick up their pace on your clit again, and you let out a whine, pushing toward him again. “See? You’re perfect. No matter how many memories of this I have, nothing compares to the real thing.”

When you’d been dating Jaehyun initially, he was - for lack of a better word - pretty vanilla. This dirty talk is new, and it makes your stomach erupt into butterflies. Your mind goes practically blank, lulled into a lusty trance by the musings of a man who’s clearly bewitched by you, body and soul.

When your gaze dips down to his hand between your thighs, you notice the way his cock is straining in his pants. “Can I…” you swallow thickly, “Can I touch you too?”

“Yeah.” His mouth returns to your throat, and he pushes your panties to the side, dragging his fingers through your soaked folds. “Fuck, baby, you’re so wet for me.”

You mewl at his words, quickly fumbling with the button of his pants so you can push them down just far enough to take his cock out of his briefs. Jaehyun releases a low groan and it makes your pussy flutter as you begin to stroke him.

Your ex reacts by slipping his fingers into your core, two long digits going knuckle deep. He tests your walls, grazing your g-spot when he begins to lazily pump his hand, his palm firmly pressing to your clit.

A whimper of pleasure escapes you, and you can feel Jaehyun grin against your neck. “The prettiest sounds,” he muses. “How did you ever get this pretty?”

It’s a rhetorical question, and it makes you feel cock drunk and dumb, your chest pushing up against his own, looking for stimulus- your nipples are hard in your bralette, but you wish you were naked already, wish you could feel him better-

“Jae?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Can you take my dress off?”

Jaehyun pulls his hand away from your core, bringing his two wet fingers to your lips. He pushes them into your mouth, propping himself up so he can look down at you while you suck his digits clean. “I thought you’d never ask.”

You groan around his fingers, the act of sucking is turning you on more than you’d care to admit, but it ends too quickly as Jaehyun pulls his hand away.

He sits up, taking off his own shirt first. Then he reaches down to grab at the hem of your dress, slowly dragging it up your form. Jaehyun’s eyes take in each strip of newly exposed skin, and you can see the way his pupils have blown with interest.

You lift your shoulders off the bed, making it easier for him to tear the fabric off of you and toss it to the side. This leaves you in your bralette and panties, both of which you’re eager to have join your dress on the floor.

Jaehyun’s hand reaches out to cup your breast, his thumb smoothing over the pebbled nipple that’s pushing through the silky fabric. He squeezes you gently, forcing you to release a moan of pleasure. 

A moment later, he’s removing your panties, then your bra, fingers pinching at your newly exposed nipple.

Your hand, meanwhile, returns to his cock- only for Jaehyun to grab at your wrist, pulling you away.

You’re about to ask what’s wrong, but then Jaehyun turns your hand palm up, and he spits into the center of it, bringing it back to his cock. 

There’s no way that action should have been as sexy as it was- your core throbbing as you begin to stroke his rock-hard length. 

With one last lustful look at your body, Jaehyun settles over top of you again, his mouth seeking out your breasts while you pump his cock. The feeling of his tongue flicking against you has you crying out, pushing your chest toward his mouth. His teeth graze over your sensitive nipple and you respond by applying more pressure to his cock.

Jaehyun groans loudly, rutting his hips into your hand, which stills so you can allow him to fuck your palm. He continues to worship your breasts while his hips do most of the work, and you surrender yourself to the pleasurable scenario you’ve found yourself in.

“You know…” Jaehyun presses another kiss to your nipple, “I was going to ask you to sit on my face, but… it’s hard being this close to your pretty pussy and not just… slipping it in.”

“Yeah?” You guide his cock closer to your core, so that when he ruts his hips, the tip of his cock glides through your soaked folds. “Then just do it.”

“Here I was, saying not to skip the foreplay- but here I am, giving in to you like always.” 

Jaehyun releases a laugh, and it makes you giggle along with him, because it’s true. Jaehyun may have this sexy, devil-may-care attitude, but he’s always been a total simp for you. 

He was completely wrapped around your finger when you first met, and he’s completely wrapped around your finger now. It’s interesting how so much can change, and so little can change at the same time. 

“You just feel so good,” Jaehyun groans, thrusting again, the tip of his pretty pink flushed cock just slipping inside of you- 

“Fuck, Jae, please-” you push your chest up toward his face again, pumping his length, trying to guide him deeper-

He brings his mouth to your own, capturing you in a breathtaking kiss as he sheaths himself into your wet core.

You let out a low whine, wrapping your legs around his hips and releasing his cock in favor of grabbing his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin.

“Fuck-” Jaehyun moans, staying still inside of you while your walls pulse around his shaft. “Missed this perfect pussy, baby.”

“Missed your perfect cock,” you retort, tangling your fingers in his soft hair and drawing him in for another kiss.

His tongue clashes against your own, his hands finding your hips so he can steady himself as he begins to rut into you. 

You love getting lost in him. You can feel your mind slipping away, your body giving into its primal instincts as Jaehyun makes love to you the way he has so many times before.

One of his hands finds your own, taking it from his shoulder and lacing your fingers above you, pressing you into the pillow. He breaks the kiss to look down at you, breathing heavily.

“There’s so much I’ve wanted to say,” Jaehyun admits.

“Then say it,” you urge him, cupping his cheek with your free hand.

He nuzzles against your palm, closing his eyes for a moment while he enjoys your touch. “I’ve missed everything about you. You’ve been on my mind every day for two years.”

Your heart aches.

“It’s more than just the sex, and you know it. I’ve missed holding you,” he squeezes your hand, “missed sleeping next to you. Missed late-night talks and grilled cheese. Missed your laugh and the way your eyes light up when you’re happy. Missed the way you cry at sad parts in movies-”

As he talks, the pace of his thrusts gets faster, and you find it harder and harder not to moan like a whore and interrupt his cute little speech about missing you. 

In fact, it’s hard to even keep your eyes open, but your gaze is caught in his own. Jaehyun’s staring into your soul, baring himself to you like a man who’s brought all his walls down. 

“I love you,” Jaehyun says gruffly, “I’ve never stopped loving you. Not for one single day. It’s you, and it’s always been you.”

Your stomach muscles clench at his admission, orgasm bubbling to the surface fast from the combination of his movements and his words.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he assures you, licking his lips. “Just rub your clit and let me feel your perfect pussy clench around me as you cum, that will be answer enough.”

With a loud whine, you throw your head back against the pillow, threading your free hand between your bodies. The first touch of your fingers on your clit has you throbbing already, and you release a gasp.

“That’s it, baby,” Jaehyun coos, lips finding your throat. “Just like that.”

“Jae-”

“I know, I know you’re close- must be pent up like me, right? We’re both going to cum way too fast, but that’s okay, we have all the time in the world to enjoy each other- the way I’m going to eat your perfect pussy for breakfast tomorrow morning-”

Your core pulses at the thought, and you rub your clit harder.

“Gonna let go for me, right, baby? I’m so close, want you to cum with me.”

“I’m there-” you tell him, shivering as he licks the sweet spot on your throat. ‘Fuck, Jae-”

“You want me to cum inside right? You’re still on the-”

“Cum inside,” you interrupt him. “God, fuck, please- need you to fill me up-”

Jaehyun groans, squeezing your hand again. His lips move from your neck to your mouth, and your tongues clash in a breathless, moan-filled frenzy, your orgasms just out of reach-

One more whimpered “please” out of you has Jaehyun moaning, his high crashing into him. You can feel him filling you up with his cum, and it triggers your own orgasm. A gasp escapes you, your sensitive nipples pressing against his chiseled chest-

You can feel him everywhere. He’s all-consuming. You completely let go, sounds uninhibited, pussy throbbing harder than it has in the past two years. 

Jaehyun fucks you through it, until you’re both sweaty, gasping messes. Then he collapses on top of you, giving your captured hand one last squeeze before adjusting. He rolls off of you just enough to tuck you close to his chest, hand finding your hair and beginning to pet you.

You can hear the racing of his heart as he catches his breath.

As you come down from your high, you feel a welling of emotion bubbling inside of you. You’re shocked when a tear rolls down your cheek, and you’re quick to brush it away. Jaehyun notices the movement and tilts his head to assess you.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “I’m just…. I’m happy, and I missed you a lot.”

“Baby,” Jaehyun’s fingers draw pretty nothings on your back, “I promise I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

☀️ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! I've been reading a lot of shorter smut fics recently, and after doing such a big kick-off in January, I wanted to try a shorter piece again, and challenge myself with a little angst :)

🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 

🔮 preview. “Listen, I promised myself I wasn't going to cum in or on you tonight - you know, seeing as you’re my wife tomorrow and I don’t want to disrespect you - but since you’re begging for it,” Jaehyun slips the tip of his cock inside of you, only to pull away, “I guess I can settle for cumming on your ass, but only if we shower together after.”

cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, creampie, pussy eating champ Jae, pussy worship, fingering, 69, blow job, hand job, deep throating, gentle choking, begging, dirty talk, slight cum kink/mentions of exhibitionism,  finger sucking, multiple reader orgasms, etc…   I petnames. (hers) baby. 

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3.1k I teaser wc. 200

🌙 starring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader

bonus

Since you got back with Jaehyun over a year ago, the two of you haven’t been separated for longer than twelve hours, but tomorrow is the day of your wedding, and there are certain traditions about the bride and groom staying apart- so here you are, cuddled on a couch in your hotel room, missing your fiance.

When your phone rings and Jaehyun’s pretty face shows up as the contact on your screen, you fumble over yourself to pause your movie and answer it. “Jae?”

“Hey, baby. What room are you in again?”

You think about it for a moment. You’d never actually told him where you’re staying in the hotel… “Why do you want to know?”

“Maybe I wanna send my fiance flowers before our wedding tomorrow.” 

God, why’s he so charming?

You give him your room number without a second thought, hanging up with an ‘I love you.’ 

Five minutes later, there’s a knock at the door, and you open it to find Jaehyun standing there with a massive dimpled grin on his face, and a vase of flowers in his hands. “Hi, baby.”

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[rueclfer]

smau request- maaaybe tomura trying to convince reader to wake up and hang with him super late bc he’s def a night owl & they end up staying up until sunrise; flirtation & heavy petting etc as we love to see it

i wrote this at 2am my brain is fried but waow loser/slightly more confident shiggy ily+ enjoy this mix of written and smau <3

twilight zone // tomura shigaraki

"oh my fucking god, knock much?" tomura exclaims, spinning around towards you in his swivel chair.

"shut up." you yawn, rubbing your eyes away from the bright PC screen illuminating the room. "like you weren't expecting me or something."

from his desk, tomura watches you click the door behind you and crawl into his bed. you pull the comforter up to your chin and nestle into his mattress as if he was the one that intruded on you in his own bedroom.

"wasn't half-sure if you were even going to come." he murmurs before shutting down his PC, diminishing the only light source in the room.

you feel the bed shift beside you as he stiffly lays down. "might as well light some candles too while you're at it." you tease.

despite how groggy you sounded, tomura could hear you signature smirk in your voice- the one that never failed to irritate the fuck out of him. he hadn't thought this far ahead- wasn't even expecting you to respond to him this late at all. all he could think about was how quick his late-night confidence was dwindling into nothing, making him squirm a bit in his own bed.

"i'd prefer to not have to look at your face." he mutters.

owch.

you don't respond. the exhaustion was ready to take over once your head hit the pillow. you think about the last time you had been in his bed like this.

it was about a month ago when you found yourself too drunk to even form a cohesive sentence. he didn't understand what you were blabbering about, but once he saw your swollen lips, flushed cheeks, glossy eyes, and handle of whiskey under your arm, he just assumed the worst.

you were drunk, touch starved, and desperate, but of course he knew better than to let you sloppily smash your lips into his like you intended two when you stumbled into his doorway. he spent that night half asleep in his gaming chair, periodically reaching over to make sure you were still breathing with his trash can pulled up next to your side of the bed.

once you sobered up the next day, he scolded you. relentlessly. strings of obscenities dripping from his mouth.

from that point on, he made sure to always find a way to keep you two at bay- something that he himself wasn't even sure how to go about. elbow nudges. kicking your feet under the dining room table. laying your legs over his lap on the couch without you asking. pats on shoulder. all to make sure that night never repeated- unsure if he could handle you throwing yourself all over him again.

"are you fucking falling asleep?" you feel a jolt on your shoulder as he shakes you awake. "wake up."

"i'm tired." you whine.

"well stop. i didn't invite you here to sleep in my bed." he huffs.

"the fucks got you up, then?"

"nothing."

you go silent for a moment.

"don't be annoying or else i'll leave." you deadpan.

"don't ask stupid questions then." he returns the attitude. "isn't it obvious? i can't sleep. can't even game right now. i just want to..." he voice falters at the end.

"...hang out with you, i guess."

oh.

your jaw slightly gapes open in surprise, spikes of heat crawling up your neck.

you tightly grip the fabric of the comforter. "well, when you say it like that, it sounds like you actually like me." you chuckle.

"didn't say that. we live together. bothering you is my only option."

"lucky you, i love when you bother me." you scoot closer, noses onto a few inches away from one another. "and even more when i bother you."

"yeah, i know. it's like you can't resist me or something." he pulls the comforter up over his mouth, shyly muffling his words.

"i should be thanking you then, right? thank you so much, tomu, for letting me lay in your bed with you. please. i want you. i need you. it's all i can think about when i'm just across the hall from you. " you roll your eyes.

he scoffs. "wouldn't be the first time you were pathetically begging for me either."

"as if." you spit. "i'd never."

"but you have."

a beat of silence passes. you press your lips together as hotness comes over your body while the events of that night surges back to you.

"you said you'd never bring that up again." you clench your teeth, cringing at the memory of tomura retelling that night's endeavors to you the morning after.

"needed to humble you a bit." he chuckles. "told you it's not a big deal though if you're still embarrassed about it."

"no shit, i'm still embarrassed." you tug the covers up to your nose. "i tried getting at you and you rejected me. i'll never live that down, tomu."

tomura goes quiet for a moment. he must've been thinking. he does that often- retreat back into his head when he isn't sure about what else to say. or maybe he had finally fallen asleep.

you glanced over his shoulder to the analog clock sitting on his desk.

4:27AM.

it was late- or early. maybe these past few sleepless nights had finally caught up to him, hopefully to save you from having to relive an embarrassing moment.

to him, tomura's brain was malfunctioning. crashing. blue screen error.

"uh. wait." he begins, breaking the silence. "reject' isn't the right word. you were drunk. i just did what anyone else would have."

"call it what you want. i just wanted a smooch and you weren't with it. it's whatever, i'm over it, you heartbreaker." you dramatically sigh.

"well, i'll give you one now if it'll get you to shut up."

it was your turn to error and crash now.

"really?" your eyes widen.

tomura's breathing stops. he wasn't sure what gave him the confidence to say that outloud. maybe it was because he couldn't clearly see your face. it was almost like you weren't there- like he was speaking out into the void that made it so easy for those words to slip out.

he didn't mean it. right?

"yeah."

fuck.

"-if you want though." he quips.

please shut the fuck up.

"last month wasn't a rejection. i just didn't want you to only want me when you're drunk, you know."

stop talking.

"but you're sober now and we're talking about it and i just-"

your lips crash into his. it catches you off guard as much as it does to him. despite how much you enjoyed listening to him ramble out his nervousness, you couldn't risk losing another opportunity to kiss him.

your hands crawl up to the side of his neck, rubbing the tender skin below his jaw as you draw him closer to you. the floodgates have opened now. tomura met your lips with the same eagerness.

you were pressed up against one another, legs intertwined, sharing a breath and heartbeats as your hands glided over each other's bodies.

your stomach was twisting with anxiety. how long had you been waiting for this moment? all of those shy glances around the apartment, subtle touches, and hidden affections had clearly not gone unnoticed.

his hand runs from the nape of your neck to your lower back where he slips his hand under your shirt, causing you to pull away in surprise from the sudden contact.

"your hands are freezing, tomu." you gasped. "what the fuck?"

"sorry." he sheepishly mutters against your lips. he keeps his hand against the soft skin of your back, lightly rubbing the area as an apologetic gesture as it warms against your body.

"sorry." you repeat, humiliation starting to creep up your neck as you two settle with the realization of what line you two had just crossed.

a beat of silence passes.

"um. so." he coughs.

"so...yeah." you respond.

it wasn't long before you two started giggling to one another like a couple of children.

"shut up." you laugh, hiding your face into the pillow.

"guess i did say you coukd have anything you want if you came over." he breathlessly chuckles.

"please. shut. up." you squeak out. "i'm going to sleep. it's already like..." you peer over his shoulder. "almost 5:00AM, tomu. good fucking night."

you turn around, letting your back face him. you could die right now. melt into this mattress and into nothing. thank god it was dark and thank god he shared this humiliation with you.

he slings his arm around your waist, bringing himself flushed against your back.

"i'm not tired." he mumbles into the back of your neck, peppering kisses into the soft skin. "stay up with me."

you mentally kick yourself. because you do- not that there was much left of the night to get through, anyways, but because when the night's haze dissipates, you'll be dealt with a bigger issue that you wouldn't be able to pass off as a drunken mistake.

[seospicybin]

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART I

Bangchan x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Chan become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,7k words)

Author's note: Pls send my birthday wishes to your boyfriend. As always, enjoy and feel free to vent in my inbox :)

CHRIS: Nah, I wouldn't say I'm a playboy [shyly laughs] My best feature? My body [Shows off abs] I'm joking, [laughs] it's my dimples [smiles] I don't have a type. Looks are relative but there has to be a strong physical attraction [Smiles]

-

In this sunny weather, it wouldn't take long for Chan to get some color on his pale skin.

A little tan will help to make his sculpted abs more defined, especially on camera. He's been working out diligently to present his best look for this show.

Lust Island.

What possibly could this show be about? If he should draw any clues from the name of the show itself, he guesses there'll be physical contact involved in a pleasurable way.

The real reason he joined the show is not solely that he wants to get some action. He can get them anytime, anywhere when he wants to.

Bangchan wants to put himself out there and explore things outside of producing music. He wants to push himself out of his comfort zone. By comfort zone, he means his studio.

Once Bangchan puts his swimming trunks on though, he prepares himself, mentally and physically as his name gets called. It's his turn to enter the villa.

When he thinks about it again, it's not the first time he gets to be filmed, and being in front of the camera, there's no use for him to be nervous.

Bangchan laughs at his cowardly thought and puts on a perfect posture, standing straight and broadening his shoulders that are as wide as the Pacific Ocean.

Bangchan is right to be confident about himself because the girls like what they see when he walks in.

There are four of them waiting by the standing table with bottles of champagne in buckets of ice.

The other male guests are no competition to him, a few inches of height difference is nothing when he's confident with his looks.

He goes to introduce himself, giving side hugs to the male and a kiss on the cheek to the female guests. He does his trick to leave a lasting impression by holding their hands and looking them in the eyes as he says his name.

"You can call me Chris," he says with a smile.

She flutters her eyelids at him, a way to get his attention, and says her name, "I'm Lola!"

Lola is a gorgeous, dark-haired girl who speaks like she's half moaning, some men dig it but Chan, not really.

Chan turns to the other female guest and does the same, "Chris," he shortly introduces himself.

"Jane," she introduces back with a thick British accent and it's good to know that he's not the only one who owns pale skin.

"Love the accent," she says with a smile that showcases her perfect white teeth.

"Likewise," he immediately replies and grabs himself a glass of wine.

-

CHRIS: This is the first I have been surrounded by this many beautiful people in one place.

-

To say that he's not the slightest bit attracted would be a lie.

But there are only two of them for now and there'll be more to come, hopefully, there'll be one that attracts him. For now, there's not enough attraction.

However, Lola is refilling his glass without him asking and checking him up and down, doing it not so subtly only tells him that she's attracted to him.

"Thank you," he mutters and has a toast with her.

Two more female guests are entering the villa, one is a stunning blonde with dazzling blue eyes and the other is a tall goddess with golden skin.

The boys are howling in excitement as the selection has expanded. Chan, trapped in the corner with Lola, waves his hand at them.

The blond girl approaches her to hug him, "I'm Dani."

"Chris," he introduces with a smile.

"Australian, huh?" She guesses.

"Guilty!" He says, "What about you?"

"I'm Spanish," she answers which explains the sheer accent in her English, and proceeds to say something in her native language to him.

Once again, Chan doesn't have a type but hearing Dani speak in Spanish does something to him.

"You have no idea what I'm saying, right?" She asks with a flirtatious smile.

"Not at all," he honestly answers and bursts into laughter.

-

CHRIS: Dani is undeniably gorgeous and so is Alicia, so is Lola, so is Jane... [chuckles]

-

Another two male guests enter and one of them is sucking all of the female's attention with a nice body, nice teeth, and a height that Chan doesn't have. But he wouldn't let it belittle him. Physical appearance is nothing without skill and Chan has both.

Everyone is waiting for the last guest to arrive and his glass is magically full again, he turns to the side to see Lola smiling at her.

Chan takes the bottle from her to refill her glass for her, he gets interrupted by the loud cheer of everyone welcoming the last guest into the villa.

"Hi, you sexy bunch!" You greet.

The guy standing next to him, who he believes his name is Iain, puts his hand on his shoulder and gushes at the sight of you, "Man, she's so hot!"

Chan agrees with him. He notices the confident strides and a scintillating smile, he likes seeing those things on a girl.

You start going around, introducing yourself with a cheek-to-cheek kiss at the end of the introduction. When it gets to his turn, Chan is already prepared to impress you.

You lean in close as you ask his name, "Hi, what's your name?"

Chan is gobsmacked by the strong eye contact you're making with him, making him lose his train of thought for a while.

"Chris," he answers.

You let out a soft laugh and lean in closer, "Sorry, can you tell me again?"

He understands that you can't really hear him with everyone chatting to each other all at once mixed with the sound of the waves crashing in the background.

It comes to his advantage to lean in close to your ear and tell him his name, "It's Chris."

"Nice to meet you, Chris!" You say but instead of a cheek-to-cheek kiss, you put your hand around his neck and pull him for a quick hug.

The hug only lasts for a few seconds but he's happy with what he got. He agrees that physical appearance doesn't matter much but your body, oh... it's enough to send his mind wanders so far off from his head.

"Gorgeous!" He calmly beams, it sounds strange because it doesn't match the excitement he has when he looks at you.

Chan doesn't want to come on strong on the first meeting, he knows that he has a lot of time to get to know you and vice versa.

"Thank you," you mutter with a smile.

-

CHRIS: Bright eyes, cute smile... I think I finally found my type. [Grins]

-

Chan hurriedly grabs the bottle of champagne the second he sees you grab a glass. He delightfully fills your glass with the bubbly wine.

"What a gentleman!" You exclaim with a smile.

He fills the glass just right to not overflow it, "The bar is that low, huh?"

You lift the glass but not taking a sip yet, "I usually go for the bad boys," you share.

Chan is aware that he doesn't have the typical look of a bad guy, that would be Jace with his sleeve tattoos and pierced eyebrow. He feels the need to show you that sometimes what's inside doesn't match with the exterior.

He fiercely looks at you and refills his glass next, "I don't look like one?"

You seem to hesitate to give him an honest answer, "Oh, well..."

Chan tips his head to the side and holds intense eye contact with you, "I can be bad if I want to."

"Yeah?" You say with a tone that sounds a little condescending to him.

That only motivates him to prove you wrong but he keeps his calm and shrugs in response.

You bring your glass close to your mouth and ask, "How bad?"

He grins and runs his tongue along the front row of his teeth, he takes a sip of his wine to make you wait for an answer.

"Why don't you find out?" He dares you with a sly smile.

One corner of your mouth raises higher than the other, forming a killer smirk on your face. You clink your glass with him and say, "Can't wait to find out!"

-

CHRIS: The eyes, Gosh! There was so much eye contact, it feels like a foreplay already [laughs]

-

Chan has no clue how the show is going to play out.

Is everyone going to mingle with each other and be free to do whatever they want for the next 30 days? It's possible because everyone is of age and signed the same contracts but he doubts it'll be that easy. It's a TV show, there's always a catch.

The day continues with a tour around the villa, everyone has seen the swimming pools and the small workout area down the beach so it's time to check inside.

Weirdly, everyone is excited about sharing the bedroom, probably because there are five beds and there are ten of them which means, everyone has to find a bed partner.

Chan's eyes dart at you who's sitting on the other bed with Luke, leaning back with your elbows propped against the mattress.

"Oh, it’s nice and quiet," Luke says, testing the bed by rocking it.

You're laughing as your hands fly to your chest, stopping your breasts from bouncing along with the bed.

While everyone else is joining in on the waves of laughter, Chan is busy assessing who else has their eyes on you. Iain is an easy guess but you'll go for someone like Jace, so he has to keep an eye on him too.

-

CHRIS: My eyes are set on a girl and uh... it's hard not to look at her so I refuse– [laughs] I refuse to share a bed with anyone else but her.

-

The boys are gathered on the beach and Chan doesn't know for what reason. He sits on the wooden bench next to Pierre with his blonde hair shining under the bright sun.

"Okay, let's cut the chit-chat!" Jace says.

His tattoed index finger is pointing at Luke, "You go first. Who's your number one?"

"Dani. Absolutely, Dani," Luke answers without a beat, and that only shows how keen he is to win her.

It's an open war, Chan reckons but it's good to know who he's up against so he can set a strategy and try to win.

It's Iain's turn and he simply answers, "Dani!"

So that means Chan's guess is incorrect yet it doubts him if Iain has no interest in you.

Sitting next to him, Pierre answers, "Alicia!"

Pierre then uneasily glances at Luke as he also chooses the same girl with him, "But also, Dani."

Luke scoffs at him and says, "She's cute, I know."

"Please, stop glaring at me!" Pierre jokingly says.

So far, there are three votes for Dani and that's not a surprise, she's one hell of an attractive girl, it just happens that she's not quite caught his attention like you do.

Pierre nudges Chan with his elbow, "Your turn, Chris!"

Chan confidently announces your name as his first choice and says it with a tint of possessiveness as if you were already his. He wants to let them know that he's going for what he wants and no one is going to get in between.

"What do you guys think of Lola?" Jace asks with a shit-eating grin.

Despite the tattoos that cover most of his back and chest, Jace is grinning as he asks everyone about his choice of girl.

"Lola is... Lola is cute," Chan says while rubbing his hands together in front of him.

Pierre agrees with him and nods, "Yeah, she's cute."

"I like Lola," Jace coyly admits.

Jace claps his hands together and points at the three men who are going for the same girl, "I see we have three men in a competition for Dani," he says.

Luke half-heartedly agrees, "The three of us are different so..."

It's a relief that Chan doesn't have any competition or that's what it seems, but he gets curious about the three men.

"Are you guys comfortable stepping on each other's toes?" He asks in pure curiosity.

"As long as Pierre doesn't step on me," Iain chimes in with a laugh, "Just look at his feet!"

All of them burst into laughter as Pierre lifts both feet into the air, showing everyone how big they are. He's a basketball player so that explains but Chan indeed doesn't want to be stepped on by those feet.

-

CHRIS: I say good luck and... may the best man win.

-

There's time left until everyone has to get ready for the welcome party tonight.

Chan can't relax yet just because he's the only one going after you. Two out of those three men will eventually have to choose another girl and he can't just leave it to luck, he needs to make some moves.

He goes to the dressing room only to find Lola and Jane in there, talking while fixing their make-up. Chan feels like interrupting so he goes to the bathroom next even though he's not sure he'll find you there.

He was too haste to think so, he finds you there leaning close to the mirror and dabbing lip balm on your plump lips. The shape your body takes as you bend over the sink, oh... he reminds himself to calm down.

"Hi," he sweetly greets you.

You see him through the reflection in the mirror and greet him back, "Hi!"

He walks over to the sink and leans his side against it, "How are you?"

You slowly turn to the side facing him while capping the tube of lip balm in your hand, "I'm good, great. You?

"Never been better," he answers.

You softly smile and put the lip balm back into a pouch, "So... What do you think going to happen tonight?"

The possibilities are endless but Chan settles on the simplest answer that fits his agenda, "What's going to happen is you and I share a bed."

You crack a low laugh and put one hand against the sink, "You want us to share a bed?"

But what he needs to hear is your answer, "What do you think?"

You consider it for a moment then say, "We'll see."

That's not an answer he wants, it's not even close to enough. Sure, Chan can play it cool but that's not who he is. Returning from the depth of his thoughts, he notices that you're checking him out from head to toe and doing it not so subtly.

Your eyes travel down his body and the next minute, you trap him in your eyes again.

"Are those real?"

"What?" He asks in confusion.

"Those abs," you say with a shy laugh.

He likes a confident girl but seeing you getting shy is endearingly cute.

"Who knows? It could be cake?!" You joke.

"Pinch it then!" He playfully dares you.

You hesitate for a moment, then gently put your fingertips on the sculpted muscles on his stomach and gasp in awe, "I can't even pinch it."

Keep running your fingertips on his skin and you playfully say, "It's so hard."

Standing this close to you with your hands on me is doing things to him. Chan swallows air and tries to keep it cool, "If you keep feeling my abs, I'm afraid it won't be the only thing that's hard."

You giggle yet you run your fingers down his abdomen, only stopping when they meet the waistband of his swimming trunks. He gets the urge to touch you in return and without needing to command, his hand automatically flies to your waist.

In this proximity, he can smell the fruity scent of your lip balm, sweet and enticing, making him want to taste it on your lips.

"Are you a good kisser?" He asks with his voice suddenly turning lower.

You slightly tilt your head to the side and flutter your eyelashes at him, "Why don't you find out?"

It's so attractive of you to say those words back to him in a low, sultry voice and make them weapons to weaken him. Just so you know, it works.

Chan bites his lower lip, impatient to crash them against yours. He puts his hand on the arch of your back, then slowly leans in closer, closer...

The sound of people coming to the bathroom shatters the moment, you laugh it off and gently push him away, "Try again later," you tell him.

You stop by the doorway and turn to look at him to add, "Only if you're lucky."

-

CHRIS: That! Right there! That's my type. [Nodding]

-

The boys are going down to the beach where the party is held.

The theme is Welcome to The Jungle and he dressed as his spirit animal, wolf. He shouldn't feel silly as everyone is also dressed in animal costumes.

The boys each take a glass of drink to fuel up for the night. Jace is the one leading by raising his glass high in the air, "Let's have some fun tonight!" He shouts.

Everyone else is following suit, raising their drinks high in the air and having a toast,

The contestants are only allowed to have three drinks max in one day so Chan doesn't need to worry about getting drunk. one drink is already enough to give him the courage to make a move on you tonight.

"There they are!" Luke says, pointing to the girls making their way down the stairs that lead to the beach.

Chan spots you right away, dressed in a costume of a bird with colorful fur and a pair of majestic wings. Suddenly, he feels like flying toward you.

He couldn't be any faster to get to your side and compliment you, "You're so beautiful!"

You brightly smile and make a pose for him, "Do you like it?"

"Spin for me!" He orders.

You do what he says, spinning on your feet and giggling as you almost stumble on your own foot.

Chan offers his hand to help you steady yourself and grins, "One beautiful love bird, aren't you?"

-

CHRIS: I'm on the hunt tonight! [Howls] [Laughs]

-

The music starts playing and everyone gets together in the middle, either dancing or drinking, or both. Chan can't keep his hands off of you ultimately because he was so close to getting a taste of it.

But that's okay, he likes playing this game of push and pull with you. He may have let you out of his arms but never out of his sight, you're only going as far as he let you.

Everyone is excited, a little tipsy, and sexually charged just in time to continue with a game. Lola takes the center and explains how the game works.

"Since we're all dressed like the animals we are..." she gets interrupted by Jace as he roars and bangs on his chest like the animal costume he's wearing.

"Each one of you will take turns to stand here then do your mating call and if any of you animals is attracted," she pauses to look at everyone before continuing, "You can kiss, bite, grab... whatever you want to do!"

It's an easy game to play and everyone is more than ready to answer some mating calls. Since Lola has taken the spot, she plays with her bunny ears and cutely hops on her feet like a rabbit but mewling like a cat.

Chan turns to Jace who's making eyes at her, crawling and walking like the animal he is dressed in, he playfully climbs her body and kisses her neck.

The others are responding with cheers and hoots, watching them going at each other's faces in front of them. It gets everyone impatient to take their turn.

The game is heating when Dani takes her turn, he can see that the three men in competition are getting ready to take their chance to kiss her and perhaps, try to be the best kisser of all.

Dani doesn't do a mating call of sorts, she just stands there and simply says, "Come and get it!"

Pierre dashes to get to her first and earns the first smooch, Iain and Luke are steadily waiting for their turn to kiss. While everyone else is enjoying the raunchy moment, Chan prepares himself because your turn is next. His eyes are following you as you walk to the appointed spot and turn to face everyone, you're laughing in giddy before trying to whistle as loud as you can.

Chan immediately gets up from his seat, but he hears a terrible lion roar from the other direction and sees Iain make his way to you.

He knows Iain still has an interest in you, but this will be his first and the last kiss he gets from you. He glares at Iain as he walks back to his seat.

Ignoring the rage inside him, Chan puts on his vicious eyes and shows his teeth, taking you by surprise as he sinks his teeth into your right breast, then your neck, and finally, your lips.

Iain kind of ruined this first kiss moment but Chan reminds himself that he'll not let anything get in the way of what he wants and this is what he wants. He holds your face with both hands and presses his lips on yours, he greedily kisses you and tugs your lips between his teeth before letting go.

Jace howls the loudest for him as Chan returns to his seat with a triumphant smile, he can taste the win on your lips, he can tell you fancy him more than Iain.

Chan finally takes his turn after Luke and he knows what he needs to do, he's going to howl like a wolf calling for you. He looks at you and says, "Come on!"

You're slyly smiling at him, pretending not to want to come forward but he knows, he knows you want to.

"I know you want it," He fiercely says, addressing you with his eyes.

You get up and break into running at him, not stopping until your body crashes into him in which he gladly welcomes you into his arms.

This is his chance to redo the first kiss so he kisses you, a little gentler than the previous one yet with the same passion. He puts his hands around your waist and without letting go of the kiss, he hoists you, then wraps your legs around his waist.

You yelp in surprise, but that only allows him to slip his tongue into your mouth and kiss you deeper as he holds you tightly.

"I'm going to take this bird home," he says after the.

Chan carries you back to your seat like the winning prize you are. He then silently glances at Iain with a bragging smile plastered on his face.

-

CHRIS: That's right, everyone. Kindly take your hands off of her because she's mine!

-

A lady walks in and Chan assumes she's the host of the show. She smiles and waves at everyone before talking, "Is everyone having fun?"

Everyone answers with a loud cheer and whistles, showing the host a lot of excitement. They're partying, drinking and they got to grab or bite or kiss, nothing to complain about.

"Okay, okay, I hear you all!" She responds with a knowing laugh.

She claps her hands together and turns on her feet to show a big box behind her, "If you look here, I have a surprise..."

Everyone is cooing in curiosity at the sight of it. Looking at the size of the box, it's safe to say that it fits a person inside.

The host has to wait for everyone to calm down to continue talking, "I am excited to announce that we have a surprise visit to start the show and make it special!"

Jace is whooping the loudest while the girls are whispering, wildly guessing by throwing famous people into the sentences.

"Are you ready to take the party to the next level?" She asks everyone.

"YEAH!!!" Everyone collectively answers.

"Okay then!" She flicks her fingers as a cue, then steps aside.

-

CHRIS: Whatever it is. Whoever it is. I'm ready. Give it to me!

-

Chan turns to look at you and asks, "What do you think?"

You shake your head and grin in excitement, "I don't know but it's exciting!"

Everyone is craning their necks and waiting in anticipation as they turn the lights around the box for a dramatic entrance. The door of the box is swinging opening little by little, it's dark to see what's inside, and then the thing inside lights up and chimes.

"OH! FUCK NO!!!" Dani screams and covers her face with both hands.

Chan turns to the side to look at you and you look as devastated as Dani, "You got to be kidding me!" You mutter under your breath.

He looks around and it seems like he's the only one who doesn't get a grasp of what's truly happening. He looks at the cone inside the box again and confusingly asks, "Is that... a speaker?"

You shake your head and whine, "No... It's Lana!"

Lana who? And why is everyone looking either mad or devastated? Would it be embarrassing if he told everyone that he doesn't watch TV or streaming movies like most people?

"Hello and welcome to the retreat!" The cone speaks which Chan has just learned is named Lana.

"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships," she continues.

Luke gets offended and coughs, "Welp. She's not wrong."

"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."

Lola brushes her hair to the back in frustration and groans, "But I don't want that!"

"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."

It takes Chan a minute to process that. On the contract it says that he'll spend a month shooting the show, he does the math in his head and his mouth hangs open.

"Nah, nah, nah," Pierre repeatedly chants in denial.

Lana continues with a list of things everyone can't do in the retreat, "No kissing."

You drop your head on his shoulder at the mention of that and mewl.

"No heavy petting."

Jace drops onto his knees and rests his head on Lola's knee.

"No sex of any kind."

His ears perked and his head snaps in your direction, he gets why you're devastated because now he's just as devastated.

"This also applies to self-gratification."

Jace groans like he's in indescribable pain with his head tilts up looking at the night sky.

"What does that mean?" Jane innocently asks.

"No masturbating," Chan answers to her since everyone else is too busy mourning on their own.

"No–No flicking the beans, you mean?" She asks with eyes widening in horror.

Chan nods in sympathy and he can feel the agony already. He surely can pass a month without having sex but not getting a release from touching his own body, that's the sadistic part of it all.

-

CHRIS: I never... I don't think I can go for weeks without— [drops head] [sighs]

-

"I don't think I can do it," You mutter to him with a painful smile.

Jace is being dramatic once again by saying, "I want to call my mom and tell her to come pick me up."

The tattoos and piercings on his body aren't really reflecting Jace's inner self. It shows an example that a true bad boy doesn't necessarily have to look like it.

Lana cuts off everyone's moans and groans with further announcements.

"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."

That gets everyone in spirit again and Jace immediately sits back on his seat next to Lola, "Cancel it. No need to call my mom!" He shouts at no one.

With that much money, Chan starts to think of things he can buy with it, some producing kits, a new sofa for his studio, and a recording mic he's been wanting to buy. His train of thought is derailed when Lana continues talking.

"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."

Okay, that's so presumptuous of Chan to think that he'll win that money remembering that he's in a retreat with other horny people. There's no way that the amount of money will stay the same at the end of the retreat.

"Welcome to the retreat!" Lana concludes and leaves with another chime.

-

CHRIS: I met Lana and I understand why everyone is fuming [Laughs]

-

The night takes a hard turn and ends the party for good.

To give the girls time to change because they need more time with the make-up and costumes, the boys are lounging outside by the terrace.

"Oh, there she is!" Iain points at the cone that is now put in every corner of the villa.

Luke leans into the cone and commands, "Lana, go away!"

Chan bursts into laughter and leans back in his seat, "Dude, she's not Siri!"

Pierre is too big to sit on the armrest of the sofa, Chan makes a space for him and tells him to sit there.

"Who's going to sleep with who?"

The three competing guys are looking at each other, it's still unclear which one of them Dani is going to choose.

"Why don't we let them choose?" Jace calmly says that he knows for sure that Lola is going to sleep with him.

And Chan has nothing to worry about because he knows you're going to choose him.

The boys take their pick of bed and Chan chooses the one in the corner next to the big window. He's lying on the bed with hands tucked behind his head, waiting for the girls to come into the bedroom and choose their bed partner.

Alicia comes first and she seems to have made up her mind on the bed next to him which is Pierre's bed.

Chan turns to the side and says, "Nice one, bro!"

Pierre gives him a fistbump as a sign of victory and makes space on the bed for Alicia.

Lola is the next one and it's just what he expected, she jumps onto Jace's bed in which Jace enthusiastically waits with his open arms.

The time he's been waiting for is here, he sees you coming into the bedroom dressed in a cropped white top and shorts.

You're still beautiful to him with a bare face and your hair is down, his heart is beating faster and faster as you make your way to his bed.

Chan takes his hands away from under his head as you climb onto the bed, then pats the space between his legs, "Come here, baby!"

You crawl to him and sit where he asked you to, between his legs with your back resting against his chest. Chan wastes no time to cage you in his big arms, then buries his nose in your neck to drink in your heavenly scent.

His hand accidentally brushes over your breasts and despite that it's accidental, he can see that you're not wearing a bra underneath.

"I usually sleep naked," he shares with you.

You slightly turn your head to the side to meet his eyes, "Me too."

Chan, having not yet processed that he's in a sex retreat is not aware that information will most likely do him no good.

"Are you a good cuddler?" You ask.

He nuzzles his nose into your hair, "Oh, you're in for a treat!"

You comfortably rest your head on his shoulder as he slips his fingers into your hands and intertwines them together, resting them on your stomach afterward.

It suddenly turns quiet when Dani enters the bedroom and Chan is enjoying the drama about to unfold in front of him. He and Pierre exchange glances at each other. Now that Pierre has dropped out of the competition, that leaves Dani with two options left, Luke or Iain.

But it's clear that Dani has come to a decision to share the bed with Luke as she casually gets on his bed, "I'll sleep here," she says.

That leaves Iain with no choice but to sleep with Jane.

"Goodnight everyone!" Jace sweetly says to everyone in the room the second the lights are off.

It's a long day and he's still processing everything that happened but it's all worth it because now, he's sleeping next to you.

Chan puts his hand on your waist and pulls you close until your back meets his chest. He likes how your body molds perfectly into his and you snuggle more against his body, your ass rubbing against his crotch. Intentionally or not, he'll eventually get hard because of you.

You put your hand on his jaw and softly kiss his cheek, "Goodnight!"

He places a long kiss on your cheek in return, "Goodnight!" He says, adding a quick kiss on your shoulder after.

-

CHRIS: I don't even know if I'd be able to sleep next to a hot girl and not do anything. [Shakes head]

-

It's morning but the lights aren't on yet.

Chan makes use of the absence of light by cuddling you under the cover, putting his hand around you, and pressing kisses on your bare shoulder, then down your arm.

He hears you humming then softly rubbing your hand on his forearm.

Chan puts his mouth close to your ear, "You're awake?"

You don't say anything but lowly hum as his hand glides down your thigh and gently squeezes on the flesh. Then you turn your head at him and with eyes still closed, you lowly speak, "Nice."

He quietly laughs because you're slurring your words, "What?" He asks.

You turn your head around to whisper it to him so everyone else can't hear it, "Your morning wood."

Chan completely forgot about it but it's too late to hide it, you're probably been feeling his morning wood poking at your ass cheek for a while now. He takes his hand away from your thigh and rests it on your stomach.

"Now I kind of want to see it," you playfully say with a sly smile.

"Mmh... don't worry, you'll see," he seductively whispers to you.

Thankfully, the lights are on and Chan has time to tame his morning wood before he has to start the day.

The cone perched on the small glass table lights up and chimes, "Good morning, everyone!"

It only reminds Chan of the torment he puts himself in. He chooses to stay lying on his bed while you sit against the headboard of the bed with his hand resting on your thigh.

"A reminder that you're no longer in Lust Island and this is the first day of your retreat. Enjoy!" Lana keeps his morning greeting brief yet painful.

Luke groans with a pillow covering his face, "This is like... a nightmare."

Sure, it's hard to stay sexless for a whole month but to say this a nightmare when he sleeps next to a beautiful girl like you, Chan disagrees.

The day starts with working out at the beach with Pierre and he's doing his last rep of push-ups when Jace joins them. He's picking up a dumbbell and groans even before he picks it up.

"I don't know about you but I couldn't sleep much last night," Jace says.

Pierre laughs at him, "Wait, wait, are you—"

"Nah," Jace instantly denies, "I'm just waiting for someone to break the rule first."

Chan sits on the mat with his body coated in sweat, "I bet my money on Luke."

Pierre and Jace hoots at the same time, then slapping each other's chests, "Oh, yeah, damn!"

"Don't you laugh! You're close on second, Jace!" Chan says to him, almost falling over to the back as he laughs.

The hilarity ensues even after Jace starts lifting his dumbbells while standing, facing the vast blue sea.

"What about you, Aussie boy?" He asks.

Chan shields his eyes from the sun with his hand, "What about me?"

Jace shoots him a sly smirk, "Hey, I know, I see everything."

"Oh, yes, yes, he's all over her," Pierre eggs in just to tease him.

Chan glares at him and points his finger at him, "Watch out. I'm sleeping next to you!"

Pierre holds in his laughter, "I won't tell if you don't tell."

Everyone's curiosity is about to get fulfilled as Lana calls everyone to gather in the cabana. Seeing you for the first time after this morning, looking so stunning in a black bikini.

He sits right next to you at the end of the curved sofa with Lana already sitting right in the center of the wooden table.

"I'm nervous," Lola says, even though Lana hasn't come online yet.

Then comes the melodic chime and everyone gets tensed all at once. Seeing everyone nervous, makes Chan nervous too so he puts his arm around you to comfort him.

"Hello, everyone!" Lana begins.

There are various answers but everyone is half-heartedly replying to her.

"You were brought here to form deeper emotional connections and last night, you were given strict rules to adhere to."

Lana sounds not pleased and Chan wonders if anyone has broken the rules yet. He knows for sure that you and him are not breaking any so he scans to spot any guilty faces.

"Those rules forbid sexual contact of any kind. Regrettably, a few minutes later there was a breach of the rules," Lana informs.

"Ooh..." A few people coo in response.

Chan continues his search for guilty faces, his bet is still on Luke but it could be anyone.

"Does this mean it was last night?" Jane asks, looking the most innocent out of the bunch.

Jace slyly laughs and looks at everyone, "Okay, so, who did it?"

Now Chan is not the only one on the hunt for the guilty ones. Everyone is trying to see what is not visible to the naked eye.

Not long after, the first culprit starts to show herself. Dani is shaking her leg too much and trying not to look everyone in the eyes. The calm on her face gradually falters with each passing second.

"You're smiling," Pierre points out and everyone's attention is turned to her.

Dani can't keep her calm anymore and decides to come clean, "Yeah, it was me."

"Oh, shit!" Jace yells, representing everyone else in the group.

"With whom?" Lola asks.

Dani shakes her head, "I'm not going to name names," she says with a cryptic smile.

Now everyone is wondering who kissed Dani between Luke and Iain, the whole thing turns into a detective game. Who kissed Dani?

"Nope. It's not me," Iain confesses right away and the suspicion is directed at the last person left on the list.

Everyone is only waiting for Luke to admit it and you shift on your seat as immersed in the moment as...

"It was me," you come forward with your hand raised.

It takes him more than a moment to collect himself and convince himself that he heard it right. You have just confessed as the one who kissed Dani last night.

Jace jolts in his seat, "WHAT?"

Pierre leans at Chan and exclaims, "Wow!"

You look at everyone and apologize, "I'm sorry. I don't know... I just didn't think that we'd get caught," you explain.

As you're about to sit back, you turn your head in the direction of Luke, "I'm sorry for being the first to kiss Dani," you specifically apologize to him.

-

CHRIS: She kissed Dani... [Chuckles] I like that shit [pinches the bridge of his nose]

-

"This breach of the rules has cost the group $3,000," Lana announces, reminding everyone that there's prize money to protect.

"The prize fund now stands at $197,000."

Chan is getting more pessimistic that there'll be any money left at the end of the retreat. With everyone knowing that someone has broken the rules, it's only about time that everyone takes their turn to do it.

Personally, Chan doesn't care about the money, he has enough but that doesn't mean he will act selfishly by breaking the rules. The word 'selfish' isn't what he wants to be associated with him.

Also, it's not his money in the first place, it's everyone's money, therefore he can't waste money without thinking of the group.

You squeeze yourself into the small sofa he's sitting in and put your hand around him, "Hi," you softly say with a smile.

He looks at you and puts your leg over his knee, putting his hand on the back of your thigh, "Hi!"

You put your hand on the nape of his neck where the beads of water are dripping from the end of his hair from swimming.

"You look good wet," you tell him.

Chan brushes his hair to the back and looks at you, "You look better wet," he says with a sly grin.

It's hard being this close to you and not kissing you. Chan has to actively tell his brain to not give in to the temptations even though it's sitting right on his lap.

"Are you mad?" You ask.

He reckons you're asking about the kiss you did with Dani, "How can I be mad at that?" he asks back.

You laugh in response, "Yeah?"

He rests his head to look up at you, "That's just so hot," he replies.

You put your other hand around him and look into his eyes, entrapped him in your mesmerizing gaze.

Chan's plan is simple: Try not to act selfishly.

Then you happened. You kissed Dani, the most popular girl in the retreat, and then you openly admitted it to everyone. That only shows you have no problem breaking the rules, and added the fact that you're so attractive to him making a lethal combination that would likely lead Chan to act against his plan.

-

CHRIS: She's not only too hot to handle. I'm afraid, she's also a lot to handle [grins] but in the best way.

-

To make everyone connect emotionally rather than physically, Lana has set up a workshop in the front yard of the villa.

Everyone is paired up for it and he, of course, is your partner, he expects nothing less than it. Except that Iain gets the chance to be with Dani in this workshop.

A sex expert has been invited to lead the workshop, "Today, we're going to learn about restraint," she announces.

She walks to the center and looks at everyone as she speaks, "This workshop is about learning to slow down, there's so much more to intimacy and physical connections aside from sex."

Today's lesson is exploring each other's erogenous zones, to find the parts of our bodies that are sensitive to sexual stimulation. Chan has no idea if it would help him think less about sex because it seems like it's going to do the opposite to him.

There's a selection of equipment to help, there are feathers, roses, whips, and even melted chocolate on a bowl. You take the first turn, laying on your stomach on the thin mattress so he can start his exploration.

To begin, Chan only wants to use his hand to trace the curve of your body, feeling every inch of your skin with his fingertips.

You look over your shoulder as his hand climbs up your spine and stops at the nape of your neck only to drag his knuckle down your back.

"You're so soft," he murmurs as he puts your hair away from covering your neck.

You flash him a sly smile and hum, "Mmh..."

He takes a feather from the basket and begins to touch your body with it, finding the special spots that make you whimper or squirm.

Or giggle, just like you're doing right now as he tickles your ankle with the feather, "Tickles?"

You nod with your teeth faintly biting your lower lip.

"Turn over for me, please?" He says to you.

You obey and lay on your back, propping both elbows against the mattress to see that Chan has picked up a rose now.

Chan starts at the neck this time, softly touching you with the rose. He notices you lowly humming as he glides it down your chest and the petals are making a trail down your front. Yet he keeps dragging down your inner thigh and you lowly moan.

"Tickles?"

"Uh-huh."

He brings it close to your clothed core, "Right here?"

You're looking him in the eyes as you reply, "Yes."

"Self control and restraint. Two essential parts of today's lesson!" The expert reminds everyone not to get overboard with their explorations.

Before he takes his turn, he takes a dollop of chocolate and smears it across your sternum. Slowly, he leans down to lick it off of you with his slick, hot tongue.

He can hear your stifled breath and your chest heaving as he sucks on the skin on your breast. He finishes with a kiss on your neck and a triumphant smile on his face.

-

CHRIS: Looking at her laying there and being so sensitive under my touch oh... [hisses] [exhales]

-

The nervousness gets to him when he lays down on the mattress and puts his hands under his head, surrendering his body because it's time for you to explore now.

You crawl over his body to get the whip from the basket and he guesses, you intentionally pressing on his crotch as you look down on him with the whip in your hand.

"I haven't started but your ears are already getting red," you tell him.

Chan tries to stay calm and closes his eyes for a while to finally come up with a response, "It's the sun."

You laugh at that and begin your exploration by touching his body with the leather whip, without warning, slapping it on his skin.

"How about that?" You lowly ask.

"Not bad," he coyly answers.

You get off his body and lay next to him while the whip is continuing its journey down his body, heading close to his clothed member and again, slapping him on his thigh without warning.

"Harder?" You ask.

But before he can answer, you're slapping on the other thigh, earning a low groan out of him. Without looking, he knows that his ears are getting even redder at this moment.

On his pale skin, you can see the marks you made from whipping him, and decides to switch it to feather. You're looking at him while you're teasing his neck with the feather, he can't lie that his ears are one of his sensitive parts. The hair on his arms stands up as you rub the feather on his ear shell.

"You're so cute," you breathlessly whisper, putting his weakness to your advantage.

He can only look at you and hope that he doesn't fall apart under your touch. You take the bowl of melted chocolate, then sit on his crotch, earning a moan out of him.

You flash him a grin that hints you're up to no good. He watches as you pour the chocolate onto his abs and pick a strawberry, dipping it on the chocolate on his abs before tugging it between your teeth and feeding it to him.

Doing it carefully to not accidentally break the rules, Chan takes a bite of the strawberry without his lips touching yours then you shove the rest of it into your mouth and chew on it.

He assumes that you have done as you sit back on the mattress, you hold his body down with your hand on his chest.

"Nuh-uh! I'm not finished yet," you tell him.

He wonders what else you're trying to do but that's the pleasure of not knowing. He sees you ducking your head onto his stomach to lick the chocolate on his abs.

Your tongue makes a long strip of lick up his abs and another long strip down on the next, you clean the rest in kitten licks, making the best of your time to torture him as his ears are about to explode at how red and hot they are, he lies when he said it's because of the sun.

Chan notices the smear of chocolate on your upper lip, "Come here!" He gestures for you to come close to his face.

You crawl and hover over his body, you stay still as he cleans it for you by licking it. It's not a rule break since it's only his tongue that makes contact with your lips.

"How'd it taste?"

"So, so sweet," he answers.

Sadly, the workshop is over. They know that if they let it on for too long, it's going to turn into one massive orgy.

"Self-control is very difficult but I hope that you can take something out of this workshop and practice it in the retreat," the expert concludes at the end of the workshop.

-

CHRIS: I learned that she's sensitive on her ankle, her neck, her chest, and I... can't wait to touch her all over again [Chuckles]

-

There's a lot of seats on the sofa but you choose to sit on his lap. Not that he minds about it, he just can't trust himself when you're this close, especially dressed in a skin-tight outfit that enhances every curve of your body.

You loop an arm around his neck and the other hand is holding a drink, your eyes are always locked in a gaze with him.

"Do you play any sports?"

"Soccer, bowling... uh, pool?" Chan lists the sports he's been playing recently.

You put your drink away so you can use both hands to feel his shoulder blades, "Which sport got you these broad shoulders?"

Chan takes a small sip of his drink before putting it away, "I believe that's from swimming," he answers.

He puts his hand on your thigh with his thumb mindlessly rubbing on the skin as he talks, "I took part in a few swimming competitions in high school."

"Ooh..." you coo in awe, "So, you're good at swimming."

Chan nonchalantly shrugs, then grins, showing his dimples at you.

"What is your best style?"

"Freestyle, butterfly," he casually answers.

"How about breaststroke?" You ask with a seductive smile.

"I'm the best," he answers even though it's kind of vague if you're still talking about swimming style or a different kind of stroke.

It's hard to keep the conversation casual with you, he can't blame you though. It's impossible not to think about sex when he's with you.

"I want to learn the breaststroke from you," you playfully say with a flirtatious gaze.

"How about a private swimming lesson?" He spontaneously comes up with an idea.

With his recent discovery that the back of your thigh is sensitive, he puts his hand there as he says, "I'm going to teach all kinds of strokes."

-

CHRIS: I just can't keep my head straight when I'm with her. There's just a lot of sexual tension, it's unbearable [sighs]

-

While everyone else is getting ready for bed, you change into a swimsuit and meet him at the swimming pool. You sit on the edge to take off the mic to not risk it getting wet and damage it, then jump into the pool afterward.

It is supposed to be a swimming lesson but Chan pushes you to the wall and cages you between his arms. You don't seem to mind it though but Chan is unaware of the danger he trapped himself in.

"I think there'll be lots of rule breaks tonight," you say.

Chan glides his hand down to your waist and holds you there, "Well, thanks to you!" He pokes fun at you.

You chuckle at that and put your arms around his shoulders, "What about you?"

You put your hand on his pec and hypnotizing eyes that look right into his soul, "Are you going to break rules?"

You lean in close and graze his nose with the tip of your nose, "Are you going to be good or bad tonight, mmh?"

Chan brushes his hair to the back before diving it back into the water and lifts your leg by the back of your thigh to hook it around him.

He brings his face close to your side and lowly whispers, "Is that what you want?"

You tip your head to the other side, enticing him with your exposed neck, "Mmh, yeah..."

The beads of water trickling down the column of your neck make him give in to the temptation and plant a kiss on the skin behind your ear, "You naughty girl!" he says with a laugh.

You put your hands on his chest, "And I know you're just as naughty," you say back while gently pushing him away.

Chan laughs and has you pinned against the wall again, looking at your face glows from the bluish lights of the swimming pool.

He reaches for your face and swipes his thumb across your lips, "I want to kiss you," he says with a hoarse voice.

You giggle and put your hands on each side of his waist, "We can't do that, Chris," you say with an insinuating tone that indicates you're not meant to remind him about the rules.

Your eyes are daring him to cross the line and so he does, he puts his hand under your chin, then leans in to kiss you. The way you eagerly return it, he allows himself to kiss you harder and deeper.

Chan lets out a delightful sigh once he pulls away from the kiss and laughs the moment his eyes meet yours, "That was hot," he comments, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.

He's going against his plan to not act selfishly but at that moment, he doesn't think about the money at all. His eyes are looking at your lips and how they're glistening wet, inviting him to kiss it again.

-

CHRIS: Oh my, Gosh! It's just so hard... it's hard [shakes his head]

-

Chan closes his eyes and tries to reorganize his thoughts, holding you tightly to help him get a grip. He hoists you against his body and you immediately wrap your legs around his waist.

"You're a good kisser," you compliment with both of your hands around his neck.

He tilts his head up to look at you, "You're a good kisser too."

You tangled your hand in the hair on the back of his head, "I kind of want to do it again."

Chan knows that you're not asking for his permission, he also knows that one kiss won't be enough for both of you. The kiss is explosive and thrilling, giving him a newfound kind of rush that he wants to experience all over again.

You kiss him first and Chan becomes the one who eagerly returns the kiss to you, opening his mouth so he can use his tongue in the mix.

"Mmh..." you moan as you put your lips on his, then slowly let go.

You smile as you put your forehead against him and seductively giggle, "You're so bad, you know that?"

It should be him saying that line to you. Whenever he's with you, he feels like has no sense of self-control anymore, all he wants to do is submit to your wishes.

He puts you down and turns around so he can rest his back, pulling you close to hold you from the back. He hopes that not seeing your lips will help him calm down.

It's when he composed himself he realizes the damage he has done to the prize money, "Okay, I feel the guilt now," he pathetically admits.

With his hands wrapped around your waist, you rub his forearm in the water and say, "We could have done more but we didn't, you know?"

"That's true," Chan agrees because yes, he could have done more than just kisses with you. If he were out there, he would have broken a bed or two with you.

Chan is fond of physical affection, both receiving and giving. It's imperative for him when it comes to connecting and bonding with the person he likes.

It's a bummer that he can't freely do that in the retreat but if he's going to break rules, he'll only do it with one person and that is you.

-

CHRIS: I want to be good but she brings out the bad in me so... [shrugs]

-

Chan had barely started his day when Lana gathered everyone in the bedroom.

He enters and sees you already sitting on the bed, he sits on the end to let you hug him from the back, waiting for the cone to light up and chime like she usually does.

"Mmh... so hot!" You gasp as you put your hand across his chest.

"How come you only found out now, mmh?" He jokes.

He knows you're talking about his skin and that's because he was at the beach to swim when Lana called. Also, he knows that it's time for judgment, everyone is going to know about the things he did.

Now that he knows he's about to get exposed, his heart skips a beat as the melodic chime comes from the cone.

"Oh! There she is!" Jane weakly gasps.

Lana hasn't spoken but Chan knows she's not pleased with the news she's about to deliver today.

"I have some disappointing news."

Chan silently swallows air and puts his hands together in front of him. He can see the guilts are coming back and haunting him.

"There has been a breach of the rules."

Everyone coo and all eyes are automatically looking for the guilty faces. Chan can see that he's not the only one breaking the rules, he just can't tell if it's going to make him feel better or worse.

-

CHRIS: I'm on the hot seat right now. Everyone is not going to be pleased.

-

Jace leans forward on the bed and rubs his chin, "I'll be honest with you all," he begins.

Jace and his playful smirk is an easy giveaway, Chan can tell that he broke the rules. Lola is also looking nervous as she keeps picking on her nails.

"I spent some money. I kissed Lola last night," he confesses.

Iain sighs and mutters under his breath, "Oh, man..."

"It was all me," Jace says as he glances at Lola, taking all the blame from her.

"I feel a connection so I guess it was worth it... yeah, I'm sorry, you guys," he concludes.

Pierre nods and seems to give him a pass, "Okay."

That seems easy to do and since everyone is on the same ship, Chan reckons that they'll respect his honesty and understand why he did what he did.

It's best to own up to his mistakes quickly than mulling over it so he confesses, "We kissed by the pool last night."

You hide behind his shoulder with your hand resting on the other shoulder.

"Just once?" Jane asks.

Chan looks at you and you take your turn to speak for both of you, "Twice."

"Oh... fuck..." Pierre lowly curses on the bed next to him.

"Is that it?" Iain asks.

He wants to be honest but it's hard when everyone is throwing daggers with their eyes at him. He forces himself to admit it, "I kissed her again. On the bed."

Chan felt guilty on the first kiss but after the second kiss, it got easier for him to rulebreak. As he was spooning you last night, your body was pressed against him and you smelled so good, it just felt right to give you a long, passionate goodnight kiss.

That, he admits is a hundred percent his fault.

"And that's it. No more kisses," you assure everyone before they can yell at him again.

"We're sorry," you end with an apology.

Chan feels grateful that you don't leave him alone, you firmly stand your ground and face it with him.

"That was a waste of money," Iain mutters loud enough for everyone to hear.

You take a sharp breath and ask, "Is that all Lana?"

"There was another breach of the rules," Lana informs, sounding so fed up already.

The drama continues as the next rulebreaker comes to light and that is Luke. It’s kind of expected, he's with Dani after all, and committed two rulebreaks. Pierre comes forward with one kiss with Alicia.

Chan is just so relieved that they take the attention away with them and he can breathe now with the glares no longer aimed in his direction.

"All of these rule breaks have made me reassess my retreat strategy," Lana states.

"Oh... she's mad," Lola says with a panicked smile.

"I have now decided to implement a stricter regime. The fines will now be doubled starting from these rule breaks," she informs.

Chan turns his head to look at you and sees you cringe at the shocking announcement.

"These multiple rule breaks have cost the group $42,000."

Lola gasps with her hand flies to cover her mouth, "We might as well pack up our bags right now," she says.

You both have just now realized the damages done to the prize money. You nuzzle your head into his neck, feeling bad from the guilt.

"The prize fund now stands at $155,000," Lana updates.

-

CHRIS: The bill turned up and we're like whoa! [Eyes widen] I guess yeah... we spent quite a lot.

-

Now it's the perfect time for him to swim at the beach.

Chan needs to cool his head down and let the seawater wash away his guilt of spending that much money on three kisses, he can do so much with $18,000.

He's swimming far off the shore and when he walks back to the villa, Jace is laughing at him.

"I thought you were swimming back to Australia, dude!" He says him while brushing his long blond hair to the back.

Chan doesn't see that Luke is there too until he arrives at the top of the stairs, "I thought about it, yeah," he playfully responds to him.

Chan then sits on the lounger next to him and dries his hair with a towel. He leans back on the lounger and turns his head at him, "I was right that you'll be the second to break the rules!"

Jace snickers, "Damn right, I am. It was worth it."

Luke rubs his oiled body and says, "Yo, I was the one in the hot seat."

Chan laughs at him, "And I thank you for taking everyone's attention away."

"You owe me!" Luke says.

Jace points at Chan with his head lolling to the side, "You know what? I think you'll need a loan soon," he jokes.

Chan shakes his head and that sounds plausible with how much money he spent in one night. As much as he doesn't want to admit it, he hisses in response, "Nah..."

Truthfully, that would be a lie. Chan has not yet found a way to try to stick with the plan but at the same time, he wants to always be close to you but it's dangerous once he gets close to you.

Chan needs to work on his self-control and for a start, he needs to put a safe space between you and him.

-

CHRIS: You know what? I'll not break any rules from now on... [uneasily glances side to side] Hopefully.

-

First thing in the morning, Chan gets handed a hard task when he steps into the bathroom.

"Baby, please, help me!" You sweetly say with a tube of sunblock in your hand.

Chan has no other option but to comply and think of it as a test of self-control. He takes the sunblock from you as you slightly bend down with your hands on the edge of the sink.

"Get in there! Don't be shy!" You playfully tell him as he hesitates to rub over some sunblock on your ass cheeks.

"Okay, okay," he replies, rubbing the cream on the ample flesh of your rear, and not going to lie, he likes what he's touching.

Chan notices that you're looking at him through the reflection in the mirror and he senses that you know what's been happening the last few days.

"You say you're a good cuddler..." you say.

He rubs the rest of the sunblock down your arms, "I am," he assures.

You look over your shoulder at him, "But you barely cuddled me last night," you say with a pout.

His heart flips seeing you adorably complaining about the lack of cuddles and he can't help but smile. He knows he shouldn't put a space all of a sudden and not tell you about it.

Chan pulls your body close against his body and looks at the reflection of him hugging you from the back, fuck, he likes what he's seeing.

He slides his hands down to your hips and pulls you closer, close enough to press on his crotch, "You always make me hard," he confesses.

He presses a long kiss on your neck then says, "That's why."

You're chuckling at his honest answer then turn around to face him, putting your hands on his magnificent abs.

"How about I return the favor?" You suddenly ask.

Chan's eyes widen in shock and he wonders if the favor you mentioned has got to do with the thing he said earlier.

You burst into laughter and take the tube of sunblock, "I mean, putting on sunblock," you make the context clear.

You gently pat his cheek and kiss it while still laughing, "What are you thinking, mmh?"

-

CHRIS: Told you, I just can't think straight when I'm with her.

-

With their eyebrows raised and not-so-subtle death glares thrown your way, it's obvious that they think the reason why Lana called everyone to the cabana is because you both broke the rules again.

"Nah. Nuh-uh. Not us!" You quickly deny everyone's allegations.

Chan can relax this time knowing that he didn't do any rulebreak and puts his arm around your shoulder. You offer your hand to intertwine it with his.

"Hello, everyone!" Lana greets not long after the cone chimes in.

Lola is nervously laughing in response and Jace follows suit, they make a strange couple out of the bunch which only makes them inexplicably cute.

"To help you achieve personal growth during your stay, I need to increase your chance of finding meaningful romantic relationships," Lana remarks.

You turn your head at Chan and raise an eyebrow, wondering if he has any clue as to what Lana is hinting at.

"Therefore, I have invited two new guests to the retreat."

The gasp you let out is loud and sharp, Chan gets a little alarmed at how enthusiastic you get from this announcement. Should he be worried though?

"My guests have selected one person each to take on a date," Lana further informs.

"Oh, my God!" Alicia shrieks.

It shouldn't worry him this much but Chan feels a little worried. It's not him, it's you, he worries that your head will turn.

"The ones chosen for the dates are..."

-

CHRIS: Lana, can you just send us on a date instead? [Laughs] I'll not be pleased if she gets chosen for the date.

-

Chan doesn't want to show it but he starts tapping his fingers on his knee, waiting for Lana to inform who got chosen to get on dates with the new guests.

"Alicia..." Lana announces the first name.

Pierre hisses at the mention of his partner and coyly smiles, looking calm about it.

"And Chris," Lana announces.

Chan only registered a minute later that Lana called his name and that he got picked for the date. He might have secretly prayed for your name to not get called and forgot to pray for his own.

"Alicia and Chris, you may now leave and get ready for your dates," Lana orders.

You thinly smile at him and kiss him on the cheek, "Have fun!"

He's not sure if you mean it or not, but Chan takes it that you have good intentions behind those words. He briefly hugs you before leaving.

-

CHRIS: I did not expect to get chosen but yeah, I think it's a good chance for me to show her that I'm into her.

-

It's when he's getting ready in the dressing room that Lana delivers additional information.

One, they haven't told the new guests that they are on Too Hot To Handle which will make them as horny and as eager as he is at the start of the retreat.

Two, Chan is free to decide at which point to tell them about it.

"It's better if we tell them right away then," Chan talks to Alicia as they're walking down to the beach.

"But then they won't try to kiss you," Alicia cheekily says which is the opposite of what they should do to resist temptations.

"Good luck!" Chan gives Alicia a quick hug as they go separate ways at the beach.

He keeps walking until he finds the place where they have prepared a picnic for the date and also where the new guest has been waiting for him.

The girl turns her head around and smiles when she sees him coming her way, "Hi, hi!"

Chan joins her by sitting on the pillow on the picnic mat, "Hi, I'm Chris," he introduces and offers his hand for a handshake.

"I'm Olivia," she introduces back but instead of shaking his hand, she puts her hand around his shoulder and pulls him for a hug.

It gets him nervous and it's not the first time he goes on a date like this. He grabs the glass of drink that has been prepared for him and initiates a toast with her.

"Is that an Australian accent that I hear?" She asks.

"Yes," He answers.

"Oh, I like that," she sweetly says with a bright smile.

This is the real temptation. Olivia has a voluptuous body, gorgeous strawberry-blond hair, and a nice smile. Chan was so wrong to think that her date would be ugly.

"I've never been to a date this nice, honestly," Olivia says.

Chan swallows his drink before answering, "Well, thank you for choosing me so I can enjoy this nice date with you," he says.

He doesn't mean to sound this flirty, it just sort of comes out of him naturally. It's just the way he talks to a girl.

"Well, you have a great body, sexy lips and dimples. I think it's a no-brainer," Olivia says with eyes that silently travel down his body.

This is what he doesn't get from you enough from you, affirmations and now that he got it from someone, he gets flustered, "Thank you," he mutters with a shy smile.

Olivia flips her hair to one side of her shoulder and gazes at him, "What do you think about me? Am I your type?"

Chan lets out a low laugh and holds his drink in one hand, "You're obviously good-looking," he begins.

Olivia is biting on her finger and locked in a gaze with him as he continues talking.

"I like your smile. It's uh... you have a very nice smile," he sincerely compliments.

"Thank you," she mutters her gratitude with a flirtatious smile.

-

CHRIS: Just because I'm already with someone that doesn't mean I can't get to know Olivia.

-

The plan is to break the news to Olivia as soon as possible.

However, Chan keeps finding himself stalling to do it. He gets immersed in the conversation with Olivia and maybe because he hasn't met new people in a while that makes him inexplicably excited to talk to someone new.

Chan finishes his drink to muster up the courage to drop the news but it's hard when Olivia is constantly giving him the eyes.

"It's a nice date, yeah?" Chan begins by softening the moment.

Olivia smiles and nods, "It would be nicer if we kissed," she shamelessly says.

Oh, Olivia is a trouble and Chan already has a handful of it, she's probably waiting for him to come back from this date as they speak.

"I don't think that's going to happen," Chan says.

"Why?" Olivia's smile falters a little and maybe, she's feeling a little dejected by how quickly Chan shot her down.

"This is not what you think it is," Chan carefully says.

One of her eyebrows shoots up higher than the other, "What do you mean?"

Chan takes a deep breath even though Olivia who should be the one doing it, "You're on Too Hot To Handle."

Olivia sits up straighter and clutches at her chest, "What?"

He feels bad to rain on her parade but he's merely there to be the bearer of bad news.

"That means no kissing, no heavy petting, no masturbating, no sex..."

Her eyes get wider and wider the more she hears about things she's not allowed to do in the retreat, "That means no fun? Ever?"

"Basically... yeah," Chan playfully responds.

Oh, is this how he looked when Lana dropped the news on him? The only thing he knows for sure is Olivia is as livid as he was back then.

-

CHRIS: What can I do? Lana is the one in control here.

-

The night gets dark in time to return to the villa.

Chan helps Olivia climb the stairs on her heeled sandals and proceeds to introduce her to everyone. He gets a little nervous when it comes to introducing Olivia to you.

"So, how was the date?" Lola asks.

Chan scratches the back of his head and answers, "We had a good time."

"Yeah, that was... the nicest date I ever had," Olivia adds.

He takes a seat next to you on the sofa and you're only looking at him without saying anything.

"Did you have fun?" You finally ask him.

Chan leans into your side and says, "Let's have a talk!"

Taking you by the hand, he pulls you aside to get some privacy. You choose to sit on the sofa across from him rather than next to him.

"Uh... Olivia is sweet and we had a great chat," Chan begins while rubbing down his arm.

"I used the chance to get to know her," he adds.

He sees you subtly rolling your eyes at him and sigh, pretending like you don't care but he knows. It's kind of cute that you're worrying him that Chan's heart is fluttering inside.

He reaches for your hands and intertwines his fingers with you, "But the whole time, during the date..."

He looks at you and smiles, "I just couldn't wait to get back."

A smile rises on your face and he can see that you soften around him. He uses his index fingers to draw endless circles on the inside of your palm.

"I miss you," he softly mutters.

You're shyly smiling at him and say it back, "I miss you too."

"Come here! Give me a hug!" He says while shaking your hand.

You get up from the sofa and walk up to him, he stops you before coming for his lap.

"Oh, looking so hot tonight," he comments on the way you dressed tonight in a black silk dress with a high slit on the side.

"Spin for me, baby," he requests.

You take your hand away so you can do it for him, spinning on your feet. You show off your dress and make a few poses for him, doing it so confidently that it's undeniably sexy to him.

"Mmh... yeah, the finest girl in the retreat!" He praises.

You're laughing looking at his exaggerated facial expression, then melt onto his lap, letting him hold you tightly. Chan kisses the top of your head and whispers, "You're my number one."

After all, the word 'loyal' is what he likes to be associated with.

-

CHRIS: I don't think there's anybody else that could walk in here and turn my head at all. She's the one.

-

With his open arms, Chan is ready to catch you as you jump onto the bed at him. He locks his arms around you, then peppers your shoulder and neck with little kisses.

"Good job, Chris!" Alicia beams from the next bed.

He sees that she's still sharing the bed with Pierre, and he says back to her, "Good job, Alicia!"

The date was certainly a test but it's not much about temptations, it made Chan realize how much he likes you and he doesn't want to be with anyone else in this retreat but with you.

As he looks at you while you're lying next to him, he wonders if you feel the same too. He softly brushes your hair to the side and gently kisses your cheek, "Goodnight, baby!"

The lights are out and you snuggle into him, hooking your leg around him with your foot rubbing his shin. You place a long kiss on his neck before lowly whispering to him, "I'm glad you're back."

Chan quietly smiles in the dark of the room, "With you," he continues the sentence for you.

"With you," you repeated his words instead of putting it into a whole sentence.

He turns his head and he can easily land a kiss on your forehead, "Me too."

It's getting suspicious that your hand that was resting on his chest is slowly going lower and lower. You're probably waiting until everyone else is fast asleep to do something.

You nuzzle your head further into his neck to kiss him there, your hand is inching closer to the waistband of his boxer.

"Mmh..." he warns you with a hard squeeze on your waist.

You bring your mouth close to his ear and playfully bite on his ear shell, ignoring his warning by slipping your hand into his boxer.

Chan can stop you by putting your hand away but he knows you want to make him feel good and he simply can't resist you.

"Oh, you're so bad," he says it so low it's almost like a whisper.

He closes his eyes the moment your hand meets his semi-hard cock, "You're so bad," he says again but does nothing to stop you.

"I know," you reply to him, wrapping your hand around his length and slowly stroking it.

Chan draws you closer to his side with his hand fisting the back of your camisole as he begins enjoying the stimulation you're giving him.

"Impressive," you seductively sigh into his ear after exploring every inch of his hardening cock.

One compliment is enough to make him extremely aroused. He feels your thumb circling the tip of his cock before pumping it up and down with your hand at a steady pace.

Chan holds it in as long as he could but after days passed without getting a release, his self-control hits the lowest peak and he cums only after a few minutes.

"That wasn't even my good hand," you whisper with a low giggle.

He turns to look at you and jokingly says, "What good hands, mmh? You don't have any."

Chan knows he's a few minutes late to pull your hand out of his boxer, he then playfully bites at your fingers, "They're all bad hands. Bad, naughty hands!"

As you lowly laugh at his reply, he presses a kiss on your open mouth and draws you closer to him, feeling your body molds into his again.

-

CHRIS: [Bites lip] I can only hope that we didn't get caught.

-

"Morning," Chan croaks with a soft kiss on your cheek.

You get up right away a moment after the lights are turned on, sitting with your back against the headboard then ties your hair into a messy bun.

Still gathering his senses, Chan decides to rest his head on your lap and put your hand in his hair so you can play with it.

You give his curls a ruffle and brush it with your fingers, "Is this your natural hair?"

What you're doing is comforting him so that he can only hum in response, "Mmh."

He turns his head to the side and sees you looking down at him, "Do you like it?"

You tenderly cup his cheek in your hand, "Mmh. I like it."

Chan takes your hand to kiss the inside of your hand and wrist, his heart skips a beat at the melodic chime that comes from the cone.

Thankfully, it's Lana with her usual morning greeting and wishing the new guests a good day on their first day in the retreat. Chan thought that the first day was the hardest, but now he learned that he lost a bit of his self-control on each day spent in this retreat. What happened last night is the proof of it.

"How was your sleep, Nick, Olivia?" Lola asks the new guests who shared the bed.

"To be honest, I'm hoping it was all just a dream," Nick answers.

Everyone painfully laughs at the satire. Chan honestly still wishes that it was only just a dream but instead of that, he got used to the cameras recording everything he does in the retreat.

"Is there anyone you like here?" Luke asks either Olivia or Nick.

Chan doesn't need to worry about Olivia anymore. Guess, she has seen that he's with you which automatically makes her stop pursuing him. It's the other guest that he worries about, he notices that he's been secretly stealing glances at you.

"Mmh..." you moan as you hug him tight before getting up from the bed to start the day.

-

CHRIS: She worried for me last night but that's not quite convinced me if she feels the same way. I'm a little worried that her head will turn.

-

His fear turns real when Chan gets back to the villa from swimming and finds you chatting with the new guy in the bathroom.

Chan lingers at the doorway to catch glimpses of the conversation, catching him compliments you and you're laughing at him.

"I think there's something between us," Nick says.

"You think?"

Nick laughs and says, "I just can tell."

You're only softly laughing and not denying it. Chan decides that it's time to enter the scene so he walks into the bathroom not saying anything but gets himself a towel from the rack.

Chan turns around and looks at you, slightly nodding at Nick. The uncomfortable forcing Nick to leave the bathroom which is the only right decision there is.

You're slyly smiling at him as you lean against the sink, "Hey..."

Chan doesn't answer but keeps drying his body with the towel. He wants to see what you're going to do with this suffocating silence.

You come up to him and slip your hands under his arm, hugging him, looking up at him with your puppy eyes. You try to get his attention by kissing his neck and placing a wet kiss on his collarbone.

"Mmh... salty," you say with a giggle.

Without warning, he hoists you up and carries you on his shoulder. He slaps on the back of your thigh while looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.

"Bad girl!" He slaps you again on the other thigh, sending you squealing and laughing with your head hung upside down behind him, "You bad, bad girl!"

He slaps your ass cheek this time and asks you again, "Funny, huh?"

Yet you keep laughing, only grabbing at his arm for support. Chan turns his head to bite on the flesh of your ass cheek, "Is it still funny?" He asks again.

"Uh-huh!" You cheekily answer.

-

CHRIS: She's really bad... I need to tame her. Wish me luck though [Grins]

-

Lana throws a welcome party for the new guests and everyone is wearing red for the theme.

Chan wears a sleeveless top with his dark slacks while you're dressed in a red dress with a low neckline that barely covers your breasts.

However, the party can't stop the imminent threat of Lana telling everyone about the things you both did last night. Chan can only mentally prepare himself for it and gulps his drink in silence.

"So, what do DJs actually do?" You suddenly ask him, sitting on his lap like always.

Chan remembers he once mentioned his job as a music producer but you only focused on his side job as a DJ, "Huh?" He asks in confusion since you asked out of the blue.

You put your drink away and put your hand on his shoulder, "You guys made the mix beforehand, right? So when you're on the stage, you know DJing, you just need to play that mix," you concisely put what a DJ does as if it sounded that simple.

Chan can tell you everything there is about DJing that is more complex than what you've just said but he can only laugh at it and it helps him to take his mind off things, "Yeah, kind of."

You squeeze his shoulder and say, "If that's the case then I want to be a DJ too."

He rubs his hand down your spine and rests it on the arch of your back, "You can be whatever you want."

"Mmh," you hum as you sip your drink, "We can make a duo, you and me, DJing together."

Chan is having a good laugh about it when the music abruptly stops playing then the familiar chime comes in through the speakers.

"Please could everyone gather in the cabana immediately!"

-

CHRIS: Oh, fuck, I'm shitting it.

-

You're looking so calm sitting next to him, unaware of what's going to happen once the cone starts talking. Chan tries to put on a cool face as well, leaning back on his seat with his hand resting on your thigh.

"I've gathered you all to remind you that this retreat is for finding deeper connections, not just physical ones," Lana speaks.

The long pause between the lines is making Chan even more nervous, his hand is getting sweaty yet you hold it tightly on your lap.

"This information is not getting through to some guests. There has been a breach of the rules," Lana announces.

Alicia smacks her lips together and asks, "Who was it?"

The hunt for guilty faces is on and of course, everyone is looking at them. Chan is planning to admit it real quick, ripping the band-aid all at once but someone gets ahead of him.

"A while ago..." Iain says, "Literally a few minutes ago, I kissed Olivia."

Lola slaps her forehead and sighs, "Oh, my God!"

Olivia only shrugs in response, not showing any remorse or guilt on her part.

"The kiss has cost the group $6,000," Lana informs.

"Nice!" Lola adds a snide comment.

Everyone is pissed because Olivia spent some money when she has only been here for less than two days. Chan gets the picture of how things would be when he comes forward.

"Oh, I need another drink," Luke says.

"That is not all!" Lana makes everyone hold their breath once more.

-

CHRIS: Okay, here we go... [sighs]

-

"Last night, there was another breach of the rules."

There's no way out of it, everyone is going to know whether he decides to tell or not. Chan takes a deep breath and another one and...

"It was me," you confess.

"Oh, shit..." Pierre drags the curse word and leers at Chan.

Lola looks at you and asks, "What did you do this time, babe?"

You glance at Chan before looking back at everyone, "There was a kiss and..."

You lick your lips and hold on to his hand on your thigh, "I gave him a handy."

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Jace exclaims, then bursts into laughter.

"We may as well go home. We have no money left!" Jane says with a dramatic sigh.

"I wanted to show Chris what he's been missing for going on that date, so... I'm sorry," you conclude with an apology.

It's not a good time to get lovey-dovey but he is swooning. You're fearlessly owning up to your mistakes and openly explaining the reason why you did it.

You may bring out the bad in him but he can see that there's a genuine connection there. He doesn't want to sit there and watch as everyone is attacking you.

"We're sorry, okay?" Chan apologizes once again on behalf of you.

Thankfully, Lana takes over the situation.

"What you did goes against the purpose of the retreat. Therefore a further $14,000 has been deducted from the prize fund," Lana comes up with the calculated damage.

Lola is groaning and squirming like someone has set her body on fire, "Oh, God!"

"The prize fund now stands at $135,000."

Chan grips your hand hearing how much money have lost from the initial amount and have a hard time reeling from it.

As if that wasn't enough of torture, Lana calls your name and his.

"You have broken most rules since arriving at the retreat. You must now prove that your connection is more than just purely physical."

You're looking at him and he sees panic in your eyes, kind of figuring out what Lana is going with it.

"You will face the ultimate test of chastity by spending the night alone in the private suite."

Chan gulps air and feels hot all of a sudden. Without looking, he can feel everyone's eyes are drilling holes in his head.

-

CHRIS: I want to prove to everyone that we do have a genuine connection but at the same time, we're going to the private suite... [whistles] it's going to be hard.

-

Everyone is emitting negative energy and that only makes Chan can't stand another second being in the same room with them.

"Please make your way to the suite!" Lana commands.

Chan shoots up from the sofa and offers his hand to help you get up, "Come on, babe!"

He just can't wait to get away from everyone and not be around them. He leads the way to the private suite that is located in a different part of the villa.

Chan slowly pushes the door to the suite and the smell of scented candles welcomes him. He holds the door open for you and you gasp at the sight of the big bed with a  silk sheet on it.

"Oh, they want us to fail, babe," you say as you slowly lay yourself down on the bed.

Chan stands at the end of the bed and looks at you, lying with rose petals scattered around you.

"So beautiful," he murmurs.

He puts his knee against the mattress to hover above you, taking his time to admire your beautiful face with admiration in his eyes, "Stop looking so beautiful!" He says in a frustrated tone.

You smile at him and draw his body closer, sending him toppled on top of you.

"So, tell me..." you lowly speak with your hand going under his top.

"Tell you what?" He says as he plants a soft kiss on your neck.

"What are we doing tonight, Chris?" You ask.

You rarely call him by his name but when you do, it does things to him. He has so many things he wants to do to you but sadly, they are all against the rules.

-

CHRIS: Lana wasn't kidding when she said it's the ultimate test... [shakes head] [sighs]

-

The bath is ready and Chan is leaning against the sink, watching you taking every piece of clothing off you.

You look confident in your body and that's just a whole different level of sexy to him. You're smiling, noticing that he's been ogling at your body, up and down, for so many times he lost count of it.

"Why are you just standing there?" You ask while twisting your hair and securing it with a hair claw.

He shakes his head with his cheeks blushed from how horny he is, "You're so gorgeous," he praises.

You come up to him and kiss him on the cheek, close enough to the corner of his mouth, "Don't make me wait."

You get in the tub first and slowly lower yourself into the warm, scented water to not slosh it out of the tub.

You fill two champagne flutes with the bubbly wine while Chan is removing his clothes in under a minute. You look at him as he stands there in all his glory. He notices the glance you made at his semi-hard cock.

"You like what you see?" He asks.

You pull your feet up so he can take the spot on the other end of the tub and then you can rest your feet on his legs.

"Oh, I want to get a taste now," you tell him with a flirty wink.

Chan bursts into laughter to mask how nervous he is inside. He's snaking his hand under your thigh to hold you there.

"You're hard right now," you remark out of nowhere.

It's obvious, he can even see right through the milky water that his cock is fully erected and you're not asking, you know it's true.

"What should we do about it?" He asks.

You sip your wine and lick your lips, "That depends on how much money we want to spend tonight," you tell him.

Oh fuck, it's going to be one hell of a night!

-

CHRIS: [Sighs] Uh... I think I need a loan statement.

-

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[a-d-nox]

pac: mid-year reflection - what have you accomplished and what should you be working on for the rest of the year?

i'm trying something new, a pick a card. take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: what exists before you that you can't see?

masterlist of pap/pac posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile one

accomplished: you have fought past a hard time within your family. you broke free from the expectations and control you felt from them - good for you paving your own path!! you are now ready for the next level. continue to recharge and heal mentally as you prepare yourself for what is next. have faith you did the right thing - there is no going back now. continue to seek out inspiration for actions - and acting accordingly to your inspiration. you are steadily working towards achieving something just for yourself. just remember to remain flexible and have some patience for yourself.

still working on: you still have to work on your authority and stability - its not so improved that you can just move on. it's a process. practice being calm despite the chaos - manage your anxiety/stress. trust that you are mature enough to handle yourself and your situation. it's all about confidence, so get in touch with yours. don't be afraid to kick things up a notch. you have to practice stepping outside your comfort zone if you want to see some serious growth. at the same time, it wouldn't hurt you to take a break and take a step back from time to time (don't push yourself - you'll find yourself burnt out). you also have to work on not feeling so stuck - the past is in the past, nothing is guaranteed, fitting in is overrated, you aren't competing with anyone - that is all in your mind, and (this one you might not be ready for) your loneliness is likely self imposed (put yourself out there). take back your power in that regard! take some small steps towards what you truly want and you will feel a whole lot better before 2025.

pile two

accomplished: you have finally stopped putting so much pressure on yourself. it's such a relief! i know you are a perfectionist but it gets exhausting, no? but now you can see it's just not productive to continually compare yourself to others and now you are free. keep happily say "no" while focusing on what truly brings you joy. i feel like it's also a good thing you have lower your bar for yourself. high hopes are good but not to the detriment of your mental health and self-image. delays are okay - it's okay if you're vision is not true to reality; its probably healthier this way so keep reminding yourself that. just keep working and you will get what you need and where you need to be.

still working on: keep working on connecting with your intuition. start reconnecting with your gut - stop relying on others and allowing them to influence you. also it is imperative that you let go of whatever it is that you are clinging to. change only comes when you accept endings. surrendering what is leaving or has left allows for peace and gratitude for what still remains - so stop clinging, surrender, and create space in your life for new things. embrace some spontaneity in your life - something is about to happen and you just need to say "yes" (which sounds crazy when you read the accomplished section but you will know your say "yes" opportunity when you work past your disconnect with your gut). maybe it's travel, maybe a person, etc. say yes, take a chance. ride a wave.

pile three

accomplished: i am very proud of you. i feel like you're saving for something and are being proactive with your finances instead of spending unnecessarily. that or you are feeling a bit more stabilized and secure in a situation that was bothering you earlier in the year. you just have to keep trusting that you have what you need. give some credit to yourself for your hard work. i also feel like you learned something extremely important that really had a profound influence/impact on you these last 6 months. maybe you met someone who is helping you to be wiser about how you live life and appreciate life too. you could also be moving past something that really disappointed you or hurt your feelings. you aren't too hurt by the past to not try again - you have hope once more. your emotions are no longer stagnant or restricted as they once were. keep up the good work!

still working on: you haven't been working on something that you have been planning to - it's time you stop pushing it off and get to work. stop being so frustrated and impatient with yourself due to the lack of progress you are making. be real with yourself and stop procrastinating then you will have no reason to be frustrated. otherwise, it might be time you adjust your expectations. start doing what you love again. hard work, no matter daunting it may be, will pay off when it's something you believe in. hell even if its small bits of progress, it's better than nothing. some progress will improve your spirits. life will get in your way to test how badly you really want something oftentimes. there is something to gain in breaks and stillness - start waiting around when you finally realize what it is.

[becomingmina]

MAD. w/ JEONGIN.

18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

pairing: jeongin x female reader genre + warnings: fwb, angst, jeongin is annoyed at reader, smut mdni! wc: 2k mina's note: S/GF/N = Seungmin’s gf name. You get the drill 😛

mad master list here ; other works here ; any comments and thoughts you can drop them here ; ty for reading.

Jeongin groans at the vibration from his phone. It was 1 in the morning and he had just fallen asleep a couple minutes ago.

“Hm?” He answered the call from Seungmin, only because it was at an abnormal hour and because he heard his hyung rushed out the door not to long ago.

"Hey Jeongin, I'm picking up my girlfriend and your little girlfriend is here too," Seungmin says over the phone.

"She's not my little girlfriend," Jeongin scoffed, arm laying across his eyes, trying his best to block out any light so he doesn’t lose his tiredness.

“Okay, not-your-little-girlfriend will be alone outside the club if I only get S/GF/N so—” Seungmin emphasised on the alone, feeling worried about you but seeking Jeongin’s confirmation first.

“So?” But Seungmin was only met with a grumpy Jeongin.

“So do you want me to get her too or?”

“Ugh god.”

“I can’t just leave her, they have all been drinking and—”

“Ugh, she can stay over,” Jeongin puffed, clearly annoyed.

“Okay we—”

“—But I'm going back to sleep so don't wake me when you guys get home," and with that he hung up the phone.

You entered Jeongin and Seungmin’s shared apartment, the place was always so welcoming and cozy but this time round you felt a little out of place. All day you’ve been messaging Jeongin telling him you miss him, his hugs, his touches, his kisses, only just to be left with a message that broke you a little.

Jeongin 🤍 Can you stop messaging me?

Jeongin 🤍 My phone is buzzing non stop it’s annoying

You guys weren’t dating, only a fling as the other boys would say but it was clear to everyone that you had feelings for this boy. Maybe more than he has for you. The text made you question your whole situation-relationship though — does he even like you anymore?

You were going to spend the day copped up in bed but after your roommate found out why you were so upset, she insisted you go out clubbing with her and the other girls.

“I would go but Jeongin hates me going,” you say fiddling with your blanket.

“So?” S/GF/N questioned as she moves your hair away from your face.

“He’ll get angry,” you were a little bit nervous on how he would react since he already is annoyed.

“Y/N I think it’s time you stop being the one what chases him. If he wants you to stop messaging him then you should not talk to him at all. Ignore him, go out, go drinking, go clubbing, make him mad. Be a little bit petty back,” she says with a smile.

You take a deep breath in as you considered everything she said. Maybe it was time you stop giving him so much attention. Maybe it was time you stop letting him get his way with you.

“Trust me Y/N, he’ll want your attention by the end of the night,” S/GF/N says as she gets up opening her hand out for you.

“Okay,” you took her hand.

You took your time getting dolled up, searching for an outfit. You wanted something what was still in your comfort zone but a little bit sexy. You settle for tight demin jeans and a long sleeve crop top with a wide v neck showing your cleavage area, making sure it was an outfit that will piss Jeongin off.

The first couple of shots you were as confident as when you agreed to go out. You wanted to piss Jeongin off. But towards the end of the night when the alcohol started hitting you, you can’t lie you missed him, you wanted to be with him. You start to slowly lose your security as you read over the many messages he left you asking where you were.

Seungmin brings you a pillow and blanket, with a glass of water. He hates to be a bad host and leave you in the living room but he respected his member’s wishes.

“You know your way around Y/N. Good night,” he says before returning back to his room to your friend.

You were in your clubbing outfit and it was uncomfortable for you to sleep in but you didn’t want to go into Jeongin’s room to dig through your pile of clothes afraid he was mad at you. You decided it was best if you just called a taxi, copping the couple hundred dollars to take you back home in the other part of the city at this hour of the night.

“You can sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep out here,” a voice stops you from taking any step further. You turn around and there Jeongin was standing in the hall way. Your heart skips a beat at his presence.

“No it’s okay, I think I’ll just go home,” you say quietly, standing across the room from him.

“Didn’t you want to stay?” He asked but it came out a little be aggressive as if it you begged to stay over.

“Yeah, I wanted to see you but it seems like you don’t want me here. I’ll leave,” you choked.

He can tell you were hurt, your voice breaking a little bit as you reply back to him.

“Stay.”

“It’s okay—”

“—I want you to stay Y/N,” he says firmly. “If you leave right now, I’m assuming you’re leaving me forever.” Jeongin makes his way to the couch, taking his seat as he waits for you to come to him. You couldn’t fight him, you wanted to stay, you wanted to be around him tonight.

“I think we need to talk Y/N.” You make your way over and he pulls you next to him.

“You wanna tell me where you were? Why you didn’t reply me back?” He asks softly, glancing down at you.

“I just felt like I was annoying you so I—,” you start to speak.

“—So you went clubbing instead?” He didn’t wait for you to finish your sentence. “I thought we agreed for you not to?” He puffed out, trying to stay calm. “Or does that not mean anything to you anymore?” He pierces his eyes into yours, waiting for your answer.

“Jeongin.. I miss you and all I got from you was a can you stop messaging me,” you voiced, looking away from his glance.

“So you broke your promise and went out instead?” His tone was harsh now, he is showing his madness.

It flipped a switch in you, snapping you back to the mindset you had when you agreed to go out. He had no right to be mad at you, he was the one who was mean to you first. You only ignored him because he wanted you to stop messaging him and now he’s the one that’s mad? What is his issue?

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him.

“Pfffftt..” he chuckle, amused at your reaction.

“What does me drinking and clubbing have to do with you anyways? It’s not like we are dating?” You retorted, tired of playing the cat in his little chase game.

“Yeah true,” he rolls his eyes at you now. “We aren’t even dating. But then go ahead.. Go ahead and tell me why you are missing me so much then? Spamming my phone with “I miss you”messages?” He scoffed, lifting his hand to air quote you.

You get up to walk out on him but he pulls you down, so you’re on him straddling him. You tried your hardest to get up again but he was too strong for you, holding you still by your waist.

“Silly girl..” Jeongin scoffs again shaking his head. “We’ve been here before.. You can’t go out because you’re mine,” he smirks.

“Hate when you wearing pretty clothes like this out,” his hands travelled from our waist down to your hips where he rubs circles with his thumb. His touch made your heart flutter.

“Hate it when you get drunk and get friendly with every fucking guy you make eye contact with,” he says above a whisper, lips close to yours. His possessive side was showing and it was turning you on so much.

“Jeongin..” You whimper, arms coming to hug around his shoulders now and you move up a little bit, sitting atop his hardening length. You take in a sharp breath at the contact.

“Hmm? What is it?” He was satisfied with your reaction.

“Want you…” you were as needy as when you sent him those texts in the morning. You craved him.

“You want me? I think you forgot to say something,” he teased, his fingers doesn’t stop caressing your body.

“I’m sorry,” you replied. “I’m sorry I went out clubbing. I only did it so you can pay attention to me,” you admit falling vulnerable for him again.

He lets out a little laugh before apologising as well. “I’m sorry too Y/N.”

“I’m sorry I replied to you like that. I’m sorry I let my anger out on,” he moves you closer to him, hands now groping your buttock.

“Why were you angry?“ you asked him with your big eyes, ever so innocently making him fall vulnerable to you too.

“They stuffed up my measurements, so I don’t know if I’ll have an outfit for the performance next week now,” he replies. You got your answer on why he was annoyed now. Clothes, fashion, and styling means a lot to him, so you understand how he feels when it doesn’t go right for him.

“I’m sorry it didn’t go well for you—” you tried to cheer him up.

“—No it’s not your fault. Never your fault, pretty girl,” he was desperate to let you know you shouldn’t take the blame for his behaviour.

“I’m sorry I got angry at you for clubbing too. I just get so possessive when you go out. You know I get like that only because I like you so much right?” He admits, cupping your face. You both look at each other with lust before attaching your lips.

“I know,” you pull away with a smile. You both slowly start to forgot everything that happened now.

“You want to show me how much you missed me, pretty girl?” He looks down at your body and tugs at the waist band of your jeans, signaling for you to remove them.

You get up to remove your jeans leaving you in your panties.

“This is how much you missed me?” He eyes your underwear before looking into your eyes with a smirk.

You shake your head no and continue to pull down your panties off as-well, kicking them off. He licks his lips at the sight of your bare pussy. If anything, he missed you like how you missed him too.

“Missed you more.. like this,” you say and straddled him again. With your jeans and panties off you can feel how hard he was for you now and it was riling you up so much.

“Missed this.. so much,” you moaned as his big hands come to helps you roll your hips on him.

“Yeah then keep going baby. You always make it feel so nice,” Jeongin encourages you, trying his best not to roll his eyes back at the pleasure.

“I’m close- I’m gonna cum,” you bite down on your bottom lip, feeling the damp spot forming on his grey sweat pants. You were a moaning mess now trying to save your orgasm.

“Not yet, keep going.. let me cum with you,” he mumbles. A couple more grinds and he feels himself ready to bust with you.

“You okay pretty girl? I’m close now,” Jeongin grips your hips harder now.

A loud moan falls from your lips as you both let go. You let your juice flood on his pants as Jeongin cums inside his boxers.

“Good girl.. You feel okay now?” He says rubbing your back as you both catch your breath.

“I’m okay now,” you say.

“Good.. Only want the best for my little girlfriend,” your eyes lights up at his comment and he chuckles at your cuteness.

“What? You are my little girlfriend right?” He presses a kiss to your cheek.

[fen-luciel]

Jealousy part 2

Part 1 here part 3 here

Warnings: age gap/toxic behavior

Vernestra-Padawan reader/jedi Qimir

I lied. Or rather, I had some ideas while I was writing, so instead of three parts, there will probably be four. Nothing is certain, but... you have been warned.

Leave a comment and share if you are enjoying the story.

I can't say exactly when things started to change. Maybe they were never normal from the beginning, but I was too distracted to see it, blinded by this lie that I childishly told myself.

The more comfortable I felt with Qimir, the worse his relationship with Vernestra became, to the point where in the naivety of my young age, I thought it was my fault, but in truth, I couldn't even see the problem.

I had learned to recognize my master's moods very early on. I understood before even talking to her if she was nervous because of some diplomatic mission or worse. Sometimes I was left to myself for entire days, i knew her missions were very important and that I would only slow her down, but all I could do was read and train with other padawans and read again and... do nothing.

So, while I daydreamed about the magnificent future missions with my master... I spent time with Qimir.

Of course, he was busy too, but I eagerly awaited his return each time. He would tell me what he did, who he met on his travels, the fights to the last breath, and, he was good at narrating them. He often came to see me in the library, where he would put on a silent show due to the librarian's constant admonishments, using books as pieces of the story and his lightsaber to represent himself. I laughed so much that my cheeks hurt, I used my hands to muffle the louder sounds, and Qimir seemed to love every moment of it. Sometimes, I wondered if he didn't deliberately behave insanely on missions just to tell me about it when we would meet.

The months passed quickly. After about a year as a padawan, I began to distinguish between what I was good at and what I was terrible at. For example, I was great at controlling the Force, but terrible at using the sword. Not because I wasn't good from a technical standpoint, but more for a mental reason, the idea of hurting someone paralyzed me. I wanted to be a Jedi who protected the weak, but I had missed the part where, if you're protecting them, it's because someone is hurting them, someone who probably should be stopped even with the use of force.

Worse still, I was terrified of my master's weapon, the whip seemed so unpredictable to control, yet she used it with deadly precision and wanted me to try it too. She believed my fear was natural for a young mind, that I just needed to unlock myself, but for me, it wasn't like that.

And it got worse when I sought comfort in Qimir.

Maybe, in hindsight, I should have realized something, but it's easy to talk when the worst has already happened. I remember very well what happened that evening, I was exhausted after all the sword training. Vernestra didn't seem particularly happy with my outburst a few hours earlier when I tried to say that maybe I wasn't suited to be a knight, that I could have pushed myself into the medical field or even just be an assistant, maybe a volunteer in war zones. She thought I was speaking without knowing anything, pushing me all afternoon to train in various forms. My hands hurt from calluses, but instead of running to the infirmary, I decided to knock on Qimir's room.

"I don't understand why she doesn't want to accept it. I... don't want to hurt anyone." I broke the tense silence that had formed while Qimir wrapped my fingers with the bandages he had in the bathroom.

"No one said you have to. You're a Jedi, our job is to fight for those in need." He was focused on looking at my fingers, so he didn't notice the grimace I gave him, "And I understand that. But I don't feel suited for that role. Many Jedi perform different duties, fighting isn't essential for everyone." He sighed a laugh.

"I think Vernestra is worried about your safety, it's okay to seek your vocation elsewhere, but our faith leads us to interact with dangerous environments, even the most peaceful mission could hide a terrible evil." He finished the bandaging, then gently took my hands in his, the warmth of his palms a pleasant consolation to the painful throbbing of the blisters that filled my fingers.

He looked at me again with a sad smile on his lips, "I understand that you feel sure of what you want. But, flower, you're still a child. And you have many years ahead of you before you face the final exam, you don't know what will happen or if you will change your mind, don't take what you feel for granted." I blushed foolishly at the nickname he had started calling me some time ago, something about how "I seemed delicate like a flower".

"I know, but... don't you think lightsabers are terrifying?" I stuttered uncertainly, looking into his eyes.

And that moment. That single instant when he gave me that sweet smile, I shivered.

"That's what makes them so beautiful, right?"

I didn't have an answer, maybe yes, but I wouldn't have had the courage to tell him at the moment. I only know that I swallowed a bitter bite and freed myself from his grip, a heavy breath escaping my mouth, "I have to go, thanks for the bandages," I got up quickly and fled from that room as if I had someone on my heels.

That shiver down my spine, that rancid smell at my nose, I couldn't imagine it at the time, but that was the first time I felt fear.

Of course, I blamed myself entirely, I was exaggerating, everyone said so, I was terrified of violence in a way not suitable for the role I was supposed to fill in the future, I should have recovered quickly and restarted my training. I tried to forget that evening, as I had gradually forgotten that conversation on Hoth, but that was just the beginning.

The missions with Qimir keeping us company decreased over time, sometimes he just stopped by for a greeting or joined us more to keep me company if he had a free moment. I really appreciated the time together, I liked that we could remain silent without making it seem strange, once on Naboo he showed me almost the whole city since he had already visited it before. We got ice cream overlooking a lake in complete silence, the sunset was spectacular, and with the light sounds of the forest accompanying us, I fell asleep with my face pressed against his side.

The next morning, I found myself in my room with his cloak as a blanket since I was still dressed. When I tried to return it, he teased me, saying I had slipped on the ground when I pressed against him. I yelled at him that he was rude to tell me that, but only because I didn't have the courage to admit that I found it hilarious. If I had given him rope, he would have teased me about it for months.

When I was finally old enough to accompany the master on some of her more dangerous missions, my opinion on weapons had not changed, but I had made peace with myself and decided to find my combat style.

I was proud of how I built my lightsaber, but I had to modify it when I implemented the double-sided exit to have a double-bladed saber. It made me feel safer using it, more protected, and it was a more versatile weapon, especially for more enemies. So, once I got used to using it combined with a defensive fighting style, I finally felt complete.

On the field, I rarely used the lightsaber, trusting more in my control of the Force to block my opponents and stun them. I knew Vernestra was not entirely happy with how I restrained myself, but I tried to excel in everything else, hoping it was enough.

On a return trip to Coruscant, both wounded and tired, we talked once again about the problem that had arisen when it was needed.

What was supposed to be a quiet afternoon defending senators had turned into a nightmare when a bomb exploded at the meeting place, civilians fleeing in terror, and only a Jedi and a padawan handling the dozen terrorists shooting at the crowd.

The situation obviously got out of hand, and we survived by a miracle. Before calling the council to let them know what had happened, seeing me still so shaken, Vernestra hugged me.

I clung to her robe, barely holding back tears, the memory of all the wounded passing under my eyes still fresh, but she grabbed my shoulders, and looking at me with a determined face, she said, "You did well. I am proud of you."

A few minutes later, when we could finally sit down, I had the courage to speak.

"I killed them. It was so..." I was looking at the blue of hyperspace around us, lost in my thoughts, I don't know if I was talking more to myself or to her.

"You did what was necessary. On other occasions, we could have captured them, but we were at a disadvantage. Sometimes, to save lives, you have to make drastic choices," her tone always confident, as if it were all normal, and technically it was, for her.

I no longer knew what I was doing at that point.

"I know, but... my hands..." were shaking. They shaking even then, in the peace of our shuttle. I held onto the armrests tightly as if I were afraid of falling.

"Maybe Qimir is right."

I turned suddenly, confused, hearing his name mentioned out of nowhere. She sighed before looking at me again, "He thinks it would do you good to train with him a bit. He has been suggesting it to me for a while..." she cleared her throat before looking away.

"Maybe dealing with a more aggressive combat style like his would help you unlock. I know you two have become friends, and... he is much better than me at making you feel comfortable. He might be more helpful than I am."

I was taken aback, more by the fact that Qimir had suggested something like that without letting me know anything. It gave me a strange, somewhat unpleasant feeling that I couldn't quite identify.

But still, my problems at the moment were different, so I nodded. I already felt guilty enough for hesitating in the face of danger. Despite the comforting words, I couldn't shake off the feeling that I had failed.

“Just… be careful, okay?”

The look he gave me is one I would never forget. That… knowing glint deep in his eyes, like a warning bell. But I ignored it.

I nodded, but I ignored it.

When we got home, she headed towards the council room to submit her report. She advised me to go rest since it was already evening, but after saying goodbye to her, I quickly walked down the Jedi corridor. I had been injured and was limping slightly, the next day, I could get myself healed quickly by a healer using the Force, but at that moment, it was a different kind of pain tormenting me.

I knocked hard on Qimir's door without even thinking about it, two, three times before I heard some commotion on the other side, bare footsteps approaching the door before it opened.

“I hope you have a good reason for knocking on my door at this hour—” he mumbled sleepily, his hair messy and wearing only a pair of sweatpants. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, confused, when I jumped into his arms.

My face pressed against his warm chest, and the tears I had been holding back until then started to fall relentlessly, accompanied by a few sobs.

He woke up suddenly, understanding what was happening. He effortlessly picked me up before entering the room and shutting the door behind him. “Hey, hey, my sweet flower, what's wrong?” he whispered in my ear, now fully awake.

I hid my face in his neck while he hugged me tightly, my legs hanging down the sides of his hips, my tears wetting the skin of his chest as I tried to stammer out coherent words.

I had never felt so small until that night, hidden in his arms. Although his cheerful personality made him seem childish at times, I tended to forget that we were a little over ten years apart, we didn’t really share anything except our loyalty to the Order and the same master, but we weren’t the same age, and we didn’t even have similar hobbies. We… he treated me like a little sister with absent parents.

I had run off to seek the safest comfort I knew, and he had given it to me without a second's protest.

He listened to my tear-flavored words without saying anything, his fingers brushing through my hair, partly caressing my scalp. He held me against his chest tighter when my sobs were too much to utter even a single syllable. He didn’t say anything when I was done, had me take off my shoes and most of my dirty tunic, and then lay down in bed with me.

I was pressed between the wall and his warm body, one arm on my side, and the covers wrapped around me like a cocoon.

The next day, still comfortably pressed against his chest, I took a moment to sort out my thoughts. I was ashamed of having lost my composure like that, i shouldn’t have fallen victim to fear, so I slipped away at dawn to avoid facing him. We never talked about what happened, I didn’t have much to say anyway and went back to focusing on my studies.

A few days later, Vernestra came to tell me she would be away to resolve the conflict that had arisen after that attack and that I was entrusted to Qimir as she had mentioned. I had already forgotten about that story, but it all came flooding back when we said goodbye on the platform. Her hesitant look as she stopped halfway up the ramp. I saw her sigh, maintaining a stoic expression before coming back to me one last time. “Trust your instincts, Padawan. If something makes you uncomfortable or… you just leave, got it? You’re still too young for certain matters.”

I didn’t have time to ask her what she was referring to, she boarded the ship right after and left, leaving me there with questions on the tip of my tongue.

Qimir sought me out soon after. I was hiding in the library every afternoon, hoping not to run into him and avoid training, but of course, it didn’t last long. With his usual light smile and calm demeanor, he approached me one morning, “Are you perhaps skipping your training, Padawan?” he asked, mimicking an authoritative tone.

I couldn’t even laugh. In the end, I gave in. I had promised my master, and the fear I felt that afternoon still gave me nightmares, so I followed him into the training room.

Fighting Qimir was like facing a hurricane, seemingly chaotic but, in reality, a perfectly concentrated deadly force of nature. I was used to exhausting rhythms, so I didn’t find it difficult, but what destabilized me was his gaze. It seemed like he really wanted to kill me.

Fast and lethal with his double violet lightsabers, he often aimed at my legs to make me fall and gain an advantage over me. I squirmed uneasily under that assault, of course, that was the goal of that training, but… there was a cold wind behind him. A suffocating sensation, a chill on my skin that made me doubt who or what I was facing.

Vernestra was away for just under a month, during which I trained with Qimir when I wasn’t studying. One of the last training sessions was grueling. I began to doubt he wanted to take it easy on me from the beginning, we clashed forcefully -with our lightsabers- because “it’s needed to keep you sharp ” as if the strikes he aimed at me weren’t enough to keep me alert.

A particularly painful strike to the thigh made me fall heavily to the ground, the fabric of my robe smoking from the slash. When I looked up at him, now disarmed, I almost vomited. Those eyes… now I could recognize them. The eyes of a killer. The same as those men that afternoon weeks before who had charged into the crowd.

I fled the room, took a shower, and went to bed without dinner. I was sure I was going insane. I was tired and nervous and seeing things that weren’t there. I tried to shake off that voice in my head that screamed at me to be careful with Qimir, the guilt clashing with the fear. I tried to bury it all once again, deeper and further away.

And so my routine returned to normal once everything was back to how it was before, and the master had returned, although… I had started to avoid Qimir. It wasn’t that I was running away from him, it was more like a need for personal space, let’s say. Luckily, he was sent on a mission, but he wrote to me almost every evening with messages about his goals, to which I replied with monosyllables. He realized something was wrong, but when he asked me how I was or if something had happened, I dodged the question.

During a mission in the Outer Rim, I was able to indirectly spy on a call between Vernestra and Qimir. She was scolding him for some unspecified decision, but it was the final warning that made me waver. “You’re losing your composure lately. Leave the mission and return to Coruscant to meditate on your choices.” My breath stopped when I heard him shouting through the holopad. I couldn’t quite make out the words, but he was complaining about the poor results of the missions or something like that. I swallowed down that memory too. It had been an outburst due to a tense situation, it could happen. I had to stop thinking about it.

Shared missions completely disappeared. Qimir and I only saw each other to spend time together. One evening, he took me to dinner in a somewhat shabby place with the promise that I could bring my fellow Padawans there when we were older. The light conversation at the table was pleasant before silence surrounded us.

“I’m sorry we see each other less lately,” he finally sighed after dessert.

I shrugged, relaxed. “Well, we have our duties. And I need to keep studying.” I thought I had given a satisfactory answer, but he looked more frowned than before. “It’s unfair. I want a Padawan too.”

I chuckled at the thought. “I think you need a few more years for that.” But he didn’t laugh, instead, he… stared at me in a way I couldn’t decipher. “Why do you say that? You’re growing well.”

I frowned at the answer. “Qimir, I’m Vernestra’s Padawan. No offense, but it’s she who’s raising me,” I maintained a smile that he didn’t share. “You spend more time with me than with her.”

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. I wanted to tell him that it was normal since we were friends, but that had little to do with the conversation we had started. To tell him that, as good as he was, he still struggled to act like a real authoritative figure suitable for a young boy who needs to learn the Jedi way, but… of course, I said nothing.

I didn’t feel like it. That conversation died just as it had begun.

It seemed that as time went by, that cheerful air around him faded. Maybe it was the maturity I was gaining that woke me up from that waking dream I was living. I recognized certain expressions or glances better, those smiles that once warmed my heart now had a bitter aftertaste. I began to wonder if something had been wrong from the start. Sometimes those strange warnings from Vernestra or those fragments of memories where I had seen him in a different light, more sinister, would come back to me.

So, I made a decision.

It was better to put some distance between the two of us, maybe growing up, I would be able to face him better, understand what was going through his head, and once matured, I would be able to help him as he helped me.

I don’t know if that decision was the straw that broke the camel’s back, if it was something inevitable that had already begun, or if there was no escape. Looking back at everything that happened, the mistakes had started much earlier, but how much blame did I truly deserve?

I was young, naive, it wasn’t my job to see beyond the veil of lies, beyond the Jedi, beyond the Force.

I wouldn’t have been able to recognize the dark side under those circumstances.

And in fact, I didn’t recognize it until it was too late.

And there it was, right in front of me, taking my breath away.

[mysticheathenn]

Mystery Pick-A-Card Reading

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about whatever the cards have to say. I shuffle the cards and whatever message comes out is your reading. This may be about love, academics, friendship/family, money, or careers. Whatever the cards have to say, will be said.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

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Next Reading: Patreon Exclusive (I Haven't decided on a topic but if you have suggestions feel free to shoot them, doesn't have to be Patreon-related)

Pile l:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: 7 of Swords, Hanged Man, 10 of Cups, Queen of Wands, 8 of Cups.

*Mr. Roger's Voice* I'm proud of you, I hope you know that (Meme). You are finally putting in the work, you're seeing your beautiful light in moving forward with achieving your goals. If you haven't started moving towards your goals or seeing the beauty in yourself, talents, etc, you soon will be. This energy feels more towards those who are starting to see the light after placing themselves on the bench for so long in not becoming their best version of themselves (don't have to be as many energies are in this reading). This could be anything for you maybe you gave up on yourself and fell into a deep depression, or you are tired of always trying and decided to take a pause. There's something in your energy before seeing the light pile l where you kept yourself in a shell, not moving forever stuck in limbo like the hanged man just waiting for whatever you were going through to pass. The movie Holes comes to mind where the little girl says "I'm tired of this grandpa." You are that little girl, but instead of giving up you are renewing your hope in achieving greatness. With all this cup energy this may have been your emotional health that has been keeping you from achieving your goals. Either way, you will or are finally seeing that anything is possible. You are able to do anything you put your mind to, and you're getting back on the saddle one more time because you are wanting to see yourself win. I get the sense that some of you had an epiphany where you had a dream, vision, a pep talk, something that sparked something in you to get up and do something instead of moping, being depressed, or having pity me moments. You are on your way to achieving your goals, don't stop this time. You have spirit on your side. They aren't going to let you fall. They know how tired you are. Sorry if this is all over the place, my fingers aren't moving as fast as the messages are downloading to me today, haha. I'm getting a last message that for some of you, this isn't even a goal this is more of you just getting out of your shell and seeing your beauty, talent, etc. For others of you, this is also just you getting out of your cacoon (depression, social anxiety, etc) and actually doing more than lying in bed, rotting away the day. You're starting to feel sudden changes within yourself and you are taking things day by day but slowly and surely you are hoping to win the race over your mental and emotional health.

Extra Messages: Moonology Oracle Deck: Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Your Commitment is Being Tested, Time to Give Rather than Take.

As mentioned above you are finally stepping out and taking a risk and again if you already aren't doing so, this message has probably been either on your mind lately and you have been hesitant or this message is meant to be a pep talk to let you know that whatever effort you put your energy into you will not fail. You falter just a little bit but overall you are meant to achieve and do whatever it is you set your mind to. As the cards say your commitment is being tested. Spirit wants to see just how badly you really want your 10 of cups to happen. What are you willing to do in order to achieve it? What are you willing to overcome to see abundance? How much more can you really take? This is also a time for you to give yourself credit where it is due. Look at how far you have come in life and don't settle or falter back into old patterns, addictions, people who aren't good for you, etc. Keep moving forward.

Pile ll:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot:6 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords, 10 of Cups, The Magician, 3 of Pentacles

If you are wondering if you are on the right track, I am here to tell you that you are. You may have been questioning something lately whether you're on the right career track, should you eat healthy or continue eating junk, if leaving or getting into a certain relationship was a good idea...whatever it is..this is your sign that everything is working out in your favor and you are on the right track. Keep going. This feels like a continuation of Pile l but not in the sense that this is a part of it but more so if Pile l continued to show up for themselves Pile ll your reading would re-assure them that everything is on schedule and they will soon reap what they are about to sow. 3 of pentacles is all about achievement, artistry, recognition, etc whatever you have been working on will finally pay off and end a cycle of constant stress and financial hardship. Especially with the 6 of pentacles where you will soon have enough for not only yourself but to help out those you care about as well. For some of you, it has been your dream to "pay back" your parents, friends, etc, or just show those who have shown you love the same love they have shown you through gifts, money, etc and you haven't always had that unfortunately and it's made you feel some type of way sometimes. Soon you will be able to give more as you continue to receive more. For others of you this isn't even about wanting to treat others but more so yourself. You have been working hard and all you want to do is bask in the sense of peace, and financial stability, and maybe even travel. Overall hard times are ending and the party will soon be getting started pile ll.

Extra Messages: Moonology Oracle Deck: Take time to breathe out, A time for healing, emotions are running high

Anxiety and stress I sense is an all-time high for this pile. You have been stressing about what if this isn't going to work. What if I did all of this work for nothing? What if everyone who said I was crazy or doubted me ended up being right? Just as your cards say...take a deep breath in and out, take a walk somewhere, meditate, do yoga, anything that makes you feel relaxed. For some of you killing people in Sims 4 makes you relaxed or doing puzzles. Either way, take a step back for just a small second of your day and find your center to refocus your mind on things that are worthy of being focused on. Change your mindset from what ifs, negativity, etc, and change them to telling yourself how abundant you are, how grateful you are to even be in the position you are in being able to go after it is that you want, etc. Once you are done with all of that then keep going. Make sure you are taking time out of your day to remind yourself that you are doing a great job, you will end up where you are headed, and you have faith in yourself and the unknown. You are human and not a machine. Yes the grind doesn't stop, can't stop, won't stop. But you also need to make sure you are taken care of first before anything.

Pile lll:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: 3 of Wands, The Sun, 2 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, 7 of Swords (reversed)

You are a continuation of pile ll's extra messages pile lll. It's okay to pop out and see the sun every once in a while to take a breath of fresh air to remind yourself that everything happens for a reason (if you believe in that) and everything is going to work out. Whatever it is that has been troubling you it's not the end of the world. Even on stormy days the sun still peaks out through the clouds to let you know that sunny skies are ahead. Find your balance when you go through stormy days pile lll. You take everything as if it is a matter of life or death. You may be considered a serious person if not a serious person, life has been putting you through the wringer that you probably have so many stress lumps in your back and need a massage. Get out of your head once in a while and stop getting carried away with all of your thoughts. This message may be everywhere and it's mostly because you are just worried, bombarded with so many thoughts, etc everyone has a different situation so I am trying to make sure I get as much info as I can into this reading without it being 8 pages. I'm hearing "Stop letting your circumstances control you." You may tend to be the type of person who as soon as things don't go right or as planned your mood sours or if someone says something ignorant, rude, or dumb you instantly go into full rage, annoyance, etc. Find your center in not letting the small things, people, etc get to you so easily. My sister legit put herself in a self-induced coma because she let her surroundings, people, etc stress her out to the point her body couldn't handle it (she's fine now this happened 10 yrs ago, haha). Make sure you are feeding yourself good things not just food-wise but speaking positively to yourself. The things you watch, read, and listen to...make sure these things are feeding the part of you that needs to be nourished. Create a gratitude journal and list the many things you are grateful for...this can be as small as Starbucks creating pumpkin spice lattes. You have time. Everything is going to be okay. Also, this may be for only a few of you but stop watching rage-bating videos on TikTok. For others of you the last message I am receiving is you don't feel great about your circumstances, living situation, etc....know that this too shall pass. Find the silver lining through all the bullshit that is happening in your life. I know it's hard..but as mentioned it could be something as tiny as not having kids, cancer, or dying (even if you have your days when you wish you would).

Extra Messages: Moonology Oracle Deck: A fiery climax approaches, Meditate and contemplate, Don't let your past hold you back.

For your fiery climax approaches card I am sensing a release in emotions pile lll. You may have been feeling a lot of pent-up emotions and some of you may find it hard to release your emotions or you keep everything bottled up because of trauma either way a release is on its way to you in the healing process that you very much needed. Remember when I said to feed the parts of you that needs to be nourished with the things you watch, read, eat, and listen to...this is a season of healing. Pile lll....this is what I am feeling with your extra messages cards...this season you are entering you are healing parts of you, you didn't realize needed to be healed. Something is going to set of the chain reaction for this process of you being more conscious of the people you are around, eat, read, etc.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

Next Reading: Patreon Related (I Haven't decided on a topic but if you have suggestions feel free to shoot them,doesn't have to be Patreon-related)

[moonastroellie]

i looovvee the song daddy issues by the neighborhood (definitely does not say anything abt me) do you think you could make headcannons inspired by the song?

where reader has never been taken care of but ellie come along and like heals her ig? 😏

Hell yeah

warnings: 18+, these are going to get dark, mentions of childhood trauma, abusive parents, panic attacks, mentions of murder, trans! Ellie.

- Ellie met you in her shared dorm with you and Dina, after you had a panic attack crying on the ground after you accidentally broke Dina's favourite cup.

"hey, hey, are you okay?" Ellie kneels down next to you, and caresses your hair gently as you sob and rant on about how you broke Dina's favourite cup, "it's okay- I promise, she doesn't care"

"are you sure?" sobs continue to leave your mouth as Ellie sits next to you leaning against the wall "I promise"

- Ellie who asked you about what you were thinking about, while you were both studying together.

"what are you thinking about, hon?" she questions, you shrug, trying to brush it off, "if I told you what I was thinking about you'd think I was insane" Ellie laughs "you couldn't say a single thing to me that would make me think you're insane"

"I killed someone" you joke and a choked out "what" leaves Ellie's lips "I'm fucking joking!" you say as soon as you realise she didn't think you were joking.

"I think I like you" and just like that, you and Ellie began dating—not only this, but this is when all your past trauma started taking effect on your relationship.

- Ellie who comforted you whenever you thought you did something wrong. she knew there was something deeper that you weren't telling her but never pushed you to say anything if you weren't ready-

- Ellie who sat and listened to you whenever you needed to rant, and in fact. it was the first time you ever opened up to Ellie.

"this is how my story begins and I don't ever wanna tell the story again" you cry as tears drip down your face "it's okay, you can cry- I'm here for you" you immediately find comfort in Ellie's lap.

"and my dad? fuck he was crazy, he was never present- he cheated on mom so many fucking times and i- he used to yell at me for leaving a light on, that's fucking insane am I right?" ranting on and on, Ellie didn't once turn her attention to something else. it was on you and only you.

- Ellie who pushed you out of your comfort zone to make more friends and learn that not all people are bad, she knew you had social anxiety due to growing up with your parents who never taught you how to communicate properly.

"I'd do whatever I can do to protect you, you know that right?" Ellie says as she places her hand on your thigh, as she drives to Jesse's place. you smile and nod, leaning on her shoulder as she drives.

- Ellie who watched you have a panic attack over eating the last brownie, that was in fact her brownie. "I don't care, it's not the end of the world babe, it's just a brownie" she chuckles, this doesn't calm you down once—ellie realises this and hugs you tight "it's okay"

"my dad left money in mom's hands but I always felt bad for eating the last food because maybe Mom doesn't have enough money and i-" Ellie pats your head in a comforting way, suddenly you realise there wasn't any reason to react to that.

- Ellie who was so happy to see you finally come out of your shell and actually enjoy life the way people should—she pushed you to finally get therapy, which helped a lot. she noticed you going out a lot more, not crying over every small inconvenience.

- Ellie who cuddled you so much that you actually wanted to push her off you sometimes "Ellie, I'm boiling" she grumbles, and you chuckle at her half asleep body, pulling a hair strain behind her ear as she snuggles into you more.

- Ellie who teared up when you told her that she saved your life, "are you crying?"

"what? me, ew get away!" she sniffles and hugs you, telling you how much she loves you.

[mtchacffinz]

to be loved for you

prompt!!! Dan Heng never dealt with jealousy. He learns bitterly that sometimes, he can't deal with it rationally!

content!!! SFW, gn! reader, fluff, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, first kiss, clingy! Dan Heng

note!!! I love him too much. So far, all he's been getting from me is fluff 💔 frankly, i cant muster any freaky-freaky stuff with this man 🤔 got anything? my asks are open 🩷

To be someone who relied on relations by circumstance, you would always cherish each and every one of those who cross your path. May they be old and wise, or young and restless— Greeting them with the brightest smile, they'd always find themselves enamoured by your energy. Maybe this is why you attract so many people? Dan Heng was aware of that. He never spoke up about it, though. After all, he was one of the many who was caught bulls eye with each strum of his heart.

He knew you were capable of fending off threats yourself. He knew you were somebody who could defend someone from harms way.. and he especially knew just how gentle and kind you treat everybody.

Oh, what is he doing? Sulking all by himself in the archives. Dan Heng's thoughts ran rampant the past minutes. This happens when he's alone or sitting idly by. The poor man's thoughts catch up to him leaving him disgruntled. The thing is, you could always see it in his face.

You've been out and about for a while. He misses you, you know. Not that he would admit! Dan Heng's stubborn, just like that. He's definitely not mulling over how you're attention has been elsewhere, either. He doesn't mind. You have the freedom to do what you want! Just leave him sulking here in the archives unattended, it's okay.

The teal eyed prince clicks his tongue. That chatty, flirty, touchy writer. At first, Dan Heng thought that he was quite a man. The writer guy was nice and respectful with a golden gaze for things that were held high. That said, the Author quickly took interest in you.

He was never one to be possessive. Why should he? You're not even in a relationship. But sometimes, as soon as the guys hands find their way towards yours, intertwining in a clasp, something in him dims. Suddenly, his eyes can't leave your figure. It was your smile again, and Dan Heng's not at the receiving end of it.

You're not on the express today, either. A shame. Seriously, that guys been hogging you all week! What's up with that? Don't even get him started on "(Y/n), my muse. Accompany me today?" bullcrap! It's nothing but a sappy excuse to get into your pants so bad! Seriously, the absurdity. Dan Heng shakes off the thoughts before they continue. Did you know? Just by his gaze alone, someone could freeze in their place— like daggers against their back.

"Hmm? Mr. Ferr, are you okay?"

"It's nothing, my sweet, I strangely caught a shiver in my spine.." the author, Ferr, replied calmly.

"Okay. So about your first draft.."

Draft this, draft that, can't he got an editor instead?!

Irk marks basically float up his head just thinking about what they're talking about right now. Can you blame him? He's been neglected.

Dan Heng slaps himself, hard.

Woah. He's getting way ahead of himself. Him? Neglected? In what way? Again, it's not like you're both in a relationship. It's not like he's entitled to your affection in any way. Dan Heng really needs to calm down. Lately, all he's been doing is updating the archives. He's also learned of what you will be traveling for next, and added data with a note addressed to you as well. His calloused hands were flipping through various pages all day, pulling apart scrolls and wiping away holograms.

His thoughts become strangely quiet. His presence was like frost.. constant. A little chilly. He starts to fiddle with his fingers, his gloves, and his nails.

He really misses you a lot.

Can you come back soon?

Dan Heng sighs. He stands up with his impeccable posture as usual. Those arms held scrolls and books, and puts them back where he got them from. At this point, he's zoned out. He exits the Archives, strolling near the parlor car. Light footsteps echo throughout the space with Dan Heng taking in the air of tranquility within the express; It seemed like everyone had their own agenda today.

Well, except for one.

"Dan Heng," Himeko's sweet, gentle voice called out for him. The boy turned towards her, a little surprised. She smiles, and beckons him to sit with her. Her silky locks framing perfectly on her face, she put a stray strand behind her ear. "Come, I have coffee to share."

Dan Heng was indeed in dire need of indulgence. Without hesitation, he walked over to the red head and sat down. He forgot how comfortable the sofa was.. his nerves began to relax. Himeko starts to pour the hot beverages into elegant coffee cups, befitting if her style. It was comfortable silence, the stars glistened into glass windows— reflecting the beauty of life. Himeko seems to have noticed his aloof vibe, joining him to stare at the stars. Opening her lips, Himeko starts.

"You've been busy for a while."

"Being an archivist is a lot of work, huh?"

"I have."

"It's fine." The gentle lady can't help but chuckle. He's so dry. This only confirms her hypothesis. That daunting look on his figure may intimidate some, but not Miss Himeko. Never Miss Himeko. She doesn't want to expose her hidden agenda now, but she just can't wait to run her mouth. After all, Dan Heng's been down the weather and it's very obvious as to why.

"(Y/n) wanted me to prepare these for you. Enjoy them." She takes a sip. His expression softened. Dan Heng can't help but think bitterly. It'd be lovely if they were her to prepare these herself, but the teal eyed prince quickly take back the thought.

"I'm thankful.. but why? Is there an occasion? I don't seem to recall any." He speaks in a cautious manner. The woman only sighs, a palm on her cheek.

"Be honest with me, Dan Heng." Her tone quickly changed. Now her eyes are staring into his. Like it was rummaging through his soul. Dan Heng's feet were cold. He couldn't contest her gaze, so he averts his eyes. Himeko frowns at this, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"Your eyes betray you greatly."

He was a little taken aback. His eyes? He was never expressive. He was sure he'd been called at least poker faced and stoic before.. Dan Heng's brows narrowed. "I beg your pardon?"

Himeko only chuckles, dismissing her last claim. "I'll tell you what. They'll be here soon.. and they're going to leave just as quickly." She adds the last statement with dramatic disdain before the elegant lady takes a sip once again. Dan Heng's stomach drop. Ah.. he's lost the appetite to even finish his mug. Himeko continues. "Ferr is taking them to a space station for one of his projects. Given the current circumstances, they have no reason to refuse."

His face scrunched in annoyance upon hearing the name again. Mr. Ferr this, Mr. Ferr that! He's getting sick of him. Taking (Y/n) on a space ship? How long will that take? Is it some sort of rendevous? A date?

..will you come back?

"i don't think that decision befalls to us. (Y/n) is capable of making decisions.."

"I don't want them to go."

"..on their own because— wait, what?"

Himeko chuckles dryly. "I don't want (Y/n) to go, you know? It's selfish thought, I know. But, it's good to be selfish once and a while now, right?"

That was a half baked lie. First of all, Himeko fully supports what (Y/n) wants. But Ferr.. isn't exactly known for his patience. Himeko knows full well as soon as (Y/n) steps in the spaceship— he'd pull something like a proposal! A profession, a deal! She's not stupid, Himeko is far from dense. The Scientist knows that the Author has a huge thing for you, and it shows. And knowing Dan Heng? He'd just nod along albeit against it. She can't just stand here and let them distance each other! Himeko's seen it.. that prying gaze of a distraught, pining lover.. the watchful eyes of a lovestruck persona. The only way to get a stubborn man to act, is through tremendous pressure!

Dan Heng's lips pursed.

"And you want me to.."

"You don't have to, really."

"But.. if it will benefit them, should we encourage it? After all, they're energetic and knows their way with words. There must be some sort of good reasoning behind his invitation."

"I don't know. Do you want them to go?"

"I.." Dan Heng couldn't finish his sentence. He couldn't form a response at all. Does he want you to go? If you would enjoy yourself, he'd love to allow it.. If you'd return with a smile on your face, tell him all about what happened, he'd love to receive you with utmost sincere..

Even if it took atleast a hundred years for you to return to him.

...Hundred years his ass! You will not spend a hundred years with that man!

"If (Y/n) wants to, I personally don't see why not." Dan Heng's thoughts actively contrasted his responses. A stubborn man.. Himeko sighs, an apologetic smile on her lips. Finally backing away, the lovely lady puts down her mug and sits straight.

"It's okay to be honest. After all, they.. wish for something."

Dan Heng replies quickly in a heart beat. "I will be honest, then. I want their wish fulfilled."

"Then you better greet them in tip-top shape." Himeko winks saying this, standing up to excuse herself. Dan Heng tilts his head in this, not quite sure if what the she's implying. Himeko only had that knowing smirk on her pristine face. The lady excuses herself promptly, leaving Dan Heng all by himself. The man is once again left alone with his thoughts, except this time, he has new material to work with.

"Great..." He huffs bitterly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just.. splendid." God, his head hurts. He's tired and he's drowsy. At this point, he doesn't find anything of urgency at the moment— only thinking about grasping that sudden warmth the sofa beneath him exerts. Dan Heng would like to find peace of mind at least once in a while. Both that in mind, his eyes find their way to the Parlor ceiling, half lidded and tired.

Slowly, his breathing calms down.. and slowly, his eyes drift closed, consciousness slipping away from his grasp.

Slowly.. the darkness embraced him, and his body rested in slumber.

You stand a little surprised.

After all, Dan Heng was casually sitting upright— his eyes closed. Is he napping? Is he okay? You're not sure, and you're concerned. Frankly, you were supposed to be here for him— feeling that he deserves at least an apology that you haven't been getting back to his messages in a while. But looking at the sight.. he looks like he's accompanied at the moment.

Such a hard working guard. The guard of the express, the unmatched Archivist of the Nameless.. the one who would always hold your heart gently. You swore if he blew air on your figure, you'd crumble immediately. The only one who'd sway your heart. That's how much power he holds, his whole fingers wrapped around your being with an invisible string keeping you binded to him.

You curb a grin. Strolling near your quarters, you pick up something warm. A blanket. You envelop his stature in a comfortable tuck, pausing for a moment to take in the melancholic state Dan Heng's exhibiting. The handsome prince's eyes fluttered closed, lips slightly apart. If he's sitting upright sleeping, then he must be atleast tired enough to sleep but still be on his feet.

But he doesn't know that, he doesn't need to.

"Ah.." was all Dan Heng could muster. You look back at him in a awe, but quickly recovered. You didn't remove his hands on your wrist, you held onto them instead. The archivists eyes softened, his brows relaxing. You attempt to give him a smile, defusing the tension.

Your sightseeing was cut short when Dan Heng started to stir, his eyes fluttering open. It was for a short moment, the first those greyish teal eyes found their way towards yours.. and the way they slightly widened upon meeting gazes with you, Dan Heng's slender, warm fingers slowly snuck their way toward your wrist; apprehending their movements further. Dan Heng held onto you like you were unreal, like you were unbelievable. Oh, he looks stricken. He looks.. almost as surprised as you. Dan Heng doesn't say anything yet, the blanket that was once on him fell off just a little while ago.

"Hey. Sorry. It looks like I woke you up.." You offer an apologetic smile. He quickly shakes his head at this, responding to you in haste.

"No.. no. Don't apologize."

"I have a lot of apologizing to do."

"No, you.." before he could finish, he cuts himself off. Why must he be so accepting? He keeps brushing his feelings aside, and before he knows it, he utters something he doesn't even mean. No, he's not okay. No, it's not fine. You upset him greatly. He couldn't focus on anything because you weren't answering his messages. Your phone was unreachable.

You had Dan Heng worried sick. What if something happened to you? You reckless, Trusting, thick skulled—

"Everything good?"

Your voice immediately snaps him out of his thoughts. Dan Heng let's out a small breath, his hands still clutching yours. He was still sitting down, and you were towering over him. God.. just by your gaze alone, he's already so full. If you could just stay with him a little longer, he feels like this churning in his stomach would go away soon. He wants you so bad, he needs you so bad.. he doesn't want you to let go anytime soon.

To your surprise, Dan Heng himself removed his hold on you. His movements were slow and languid, like a flow of water within the rivers. Moving in chorus, mellifluous.. elegantly. You can't take your eyes off him at all. Dan Heng clung to your waist. His warm body enveloped your lower half, nuzzling deep into your stomach. You let out a surprised yelp.

Suddenly, your face is hot. Your stomach was dancing with abundant butterflies, and you don't know where to put your hands. As if the archivist could read your mind, his hands led yours into his head, fingers entangling itself into those dark locks. They were so soft.. so warm and lovely. Your hands run through his hair gently— cherishing just how close he is to you at this moment. What's up with him? He seems to be a little more laid back.

Dan Heng shifts in his place. That's when he finally looks up at you. His arms around you, eyes looking directly at yours. You could see his expression.. eyes soft. Gentle. A slight pout— face flushed. It looks like he wants to say something, and it's still processing in that pretty head of his.

Dan Heng's hold on you tightens, you didn't fail to notice. He wants to be selfish for once. Let him be selfish for once. Just once. With a small breath and a soft tone, he finally utters.

"Don't go."

It was getting harder and harder to calm your heart down, and that didn't get any better.

Your heart immediately melts, and your knees almost gave out. What? Go where? Has the rumours already spread? Whatever it was, it's not happening. Especially if he asked you, it's already set in stone. "I won't. Not anywhere." You respond tenderly. Dan Heng's eyes lit up. You swore his fingers even twitched just a little bit. A little more after, his face suddenly scrunched. The archivists' frame was decorated with blazing hues of red. Whatever he's thinking seems to strain him so. Not even bothering to give you time to further analyze, he stands up from his seat, arms still around you. This time, you have no idea what'll he do. Dan Heng's eyes averted yours, hesitantly taking a step closer. My.. your palms are starting to sweat. This is the effect of anticipation.

When he pulled back from you, Dan Heng quickly analyzed your expression to see even a tinge of displeasure. Now you.. face decorated with the hue of peony, looked awe struck. Absolutely enchanted.. bewildered, blown. Gathering your nerves to work back up again, your eyes slowly trailed back to his nervous ones: awaiting your reaction.

"..You can hit me after this." Dan Heng suddenly says, making you tilt your head in confusion. So carefully, he cupped your cheeks. Whatever that was you were going to say was caught in your throat. There was a bubbling feeling in your chest, waiting to pop open; and as soon as his lips brushed past yours, it popped so beautifully vibrant it blinded your vision for but a moment. As your eyes fluttered closed and his eyes half lidded, he greedily drank the sight of you from his eyes.

Dan Heng's eyes widened once you grabbed his collar— smashing your lips back to his. The kiss you've given him burned with fervor, impatient, like you've been yearning for more. You were starved of his lips— like a lone hawk hunting for aeons.

Now that the opportunity presented itself, might as well make the most of it.

The archivist had a hard time keeping up with you, keeping the both of you straight by holding the small of your back. Your arms were in Dan Heng's chest— eagerly taking him in yours. By the time you both ran out of air, you were standing in amidst the parlor car— with the stars accompanying the moment being the sole witness. You could hear Dan Heng's heartbeat whilst you rest your head on his chest. Clutching his jacket, it was tempting to go for another one again.

There was silence. A lot of words hung out in the air. The first to cut through the already light air around you was you.

"For how long?"

Dan Heng breathed heavily, burying his nose into your hair. He thinks about it for a long time before finally answering.

"Quite a while."

i went a little overboard sorry! (⁠●⁠´⁠⌓⁠`⁠●⁠) edited it a lil bit

[chenouttachen]

i'm back to be angry at episode 5 alan before i steamroll ahead to eps 6 and 7. picking up straight after the world's worst staff meeting, alan follows jeff out of the garage. and leads with THIS!

after having the audacity to grab a (rightfully) livid jeff, alan tells him to let the others apologise without even apologising HIMSELF.

jeff doesn't say 'they don't trust me', it's 'everyone', and alan is included in that. i've said it before, but jeff just opened up to alan, trusted him, and had that trust thrown back in his face.

and alan keeps putting his foot in it. he tries so hard to be on everyone's side that he doesn't recognise that he keeps choosing the worst dialogue options each time. what he should have said is 'i trust you, i want you to keep working here'. instead he rationalises the other's actions, which wouldn't be a bad thing if he also told jeff that he understands his side. but he doesn't.

jeff continues to stand up for himself; he's not going to apologise to this man for doing his job. this entire situation is unfair and he's not going to pull any punches making sure alan understands that. he rightfully points out the biases and prejudices of the x-hunter team (because that was a setup through and through).

alan knows he's losing jeff in this moment. he's getting desperate to make him stay, but he has no idea how to do that. he thinks that dean and way are the problem, that if they apologise it will be enough. but he still hasn't done that himself.

and it breaks my heart, because jeff is ready to turn around and hear alan out. he's almost willing to overlook alan's lack of apology. but then alan keeps talking. and it doesn't come from a malicious place; alan wants jeff to understand the other's perspectives. but it cuts deeper than he intends to. by blaming jeff and his introverted nature, he conveys to jeff that there's something wrong with him, that he can't be trusted purely because he doesn't operate with the same boundless energy as the rest of x-hunter. and as his words sink in, we see jeff accept them and shut down.

it hurts jeff to realise that the one person who has made an effort to get to know him... doesn't know him at all. we know that jeff cares deeply about people - he loves charlie and is going through with this plan because he's tired of seeing people get hurt. but the wall that he's had to put up because of his past and his power hurts him too. to know that alan (unknowingly) condemns him for protecting himself, it's too much.

jeff has been so strong this entire time, clear in his knowledge that he's done nothing wrong. he's refused to apologise or stoop to way's level, but he can't do that anymore. because he isn't strong in his belief in himself. yes, he knows his skills and his worth as a worker, but as a person? he's lived his whole life as cattle being raised for profit, and he doesn't know how to reconcile with that, or how to speak about it. he's only just learning how to function in society with a power that keeps him inherently isolated. he's pushed himself so far out of his comfort zone in his short time in the garage, trying to protect these people, but in jeff's eyes they cannot accept him. not because he's a bad worker, but because of who he is as a person. and all he can do in the face of that is apologise.

but it is like that. alan has failed to step up for jeff in his time of need, and has still failed to apologise. jeff realises in this moment, that alan won't. and he can't take any further disappointments.

when jeff leaves, it physically pains alan. there's a part of him, one he can't acknowledge yet, that wants to do right by jeff, wants to protect and support him. and in one evening he's done more harm than he could have thought possible.

[alwaysshallow]

Tomato emoji here.

I would love to request a little cute gaz fic yk? I feel like my boy doesn’t get enough love at all..

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x gn!reader

You watch a movie with your boyfriend, after he comes back from deployment. (2,1k)

AO3 version

A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long!! Yet again, I hope it's gonna satisfy you! <3 Late birthday gift, I'd say.

It's the third Avengers movie, and Gaz still doesn't want to tell you what is going on.

Instead, he stares at you. Not like that surprises you in any way. It's a habit of his, you figured it out in the beggining of your relationship with him – he has his days, where he just needs to... zone out and stare. It happens more after he comes home to you, tired of everything that happened.

Mostly, he speaks about his deployment. Talks how they got the bad guy, or intel – really depends what it was about, but mostly he acts almost boyish, like he wasn't talking about some mission where his life was on line. He treats it like an adventure, something he wants to share with you because he's so proud that he not only made that far, but he made the world a better place with his fight. You appreciated it every time.

Now, he just stares at you. He doesn't even watches the movie that he carefully picked. He didn't even pay attention to the previous two before, he's just beside you, looking at you with unreadable face. Even if you want to, you can't read him, Kyle is like a walking mystery. You'd like to solve it, but it's harder than you thought it would be.

Nonetheless, there's a strange kind of understanding between you two. Gaz has never confessed, but you know that it's bad now. It's this kind of bad, where you want just to hug him and tear every worry he has off his face, whisper some soothing words. Everything for a man that did so much for you, a man that really brought the best of you.

The man who actually fought for you, when you wanted to leave him, when you told him it won't work.

He made it work. It was hard, but he made it work because he loved you. And, he still loves you.

You don't know this, but he wants your face to be the last thing on his mind before he dies, that's why he stares. Just in case something will happen, he has to remember your face.

“Tired?” Kyle asks quietly, tugging the strand of your hair behind your ear. You’re dozing off on the couch, and he feels pretty bad for keeping you up. It's almost three in the morning, you should sleep. It's his fault; he wants you by his side because you soothe him.

"A bit." you shrug, looking at him. It's not a big deal for you – even if your eyelids are way too heavy, your boyfriend's sake is more important than anything. "I can't sleep anyway." you lie swiftly.

Even if you won't sleep that night at all, it's all fine for you. It's about his comfort, not yours, and it's about making him confess what happened. You both know that he always feels better after a quick talk, but he's always so torned between telling you and keeping it for himself. Bad things shouldn't include you – he thinks, and he tells you this every time you two are fighting.

It's always about him being too secretive about things that bug him. Not that you counted, but most of the times, he always talked about his traumas so casually, after weeks. "I almost lost a leg" or things similar to this, concerning for normal civilian – like you – were pretty "normal" for a soldier – like him. You told him multiple times his explanation was shit, and he learned it the hard way, when you refused to go to bed with him because you were mad.

Apparently, nothing worked on Garrick as well as a threat of not spending a night in his arms; the captain of Task Force 141 always joked about this being his potential punishment, not 100 push-ups.

"Yeah." Kyle murmurs eventually. "Me, too." his voice is raw with emotion, and you can feel how much he wants you closer, he doesn't even notice your lie. You can't help but wonder, even if nothing is said out loud, how you came to understand each other so well. Was it because you loved each other so much, or your character was similar?

"I know." you just say, as you stare back at him.

He's a strange man, you know it – sometimes he was cutting you off, sometimes he had to have a quick break from everything, including you. The longest break was three days, and he came back on his knees, apologizing.

Most of the times, he was kissing you breathlessly, whispering sweet nothings to you, as his hands were working on unbuttoning your shirt. He needs this kind of contact, it's the love language of his. It's something comforting, being in your close embrace, without having to think of the rest of the world.

You know it, he knows it, so without any hesitation from your side, you come closer, sitting on his lap. Next thing you do is hugging him, tight; Kyle wraps his arms around you too, immediately. He feels your warmth, his body pressed against yours. He inhales your scent - the perfume you chose is his favorite.

Probably because he chose it for you as a Christmas gift, but it was really pretty, too.

This is a comfort he desperately needs right now.

"God," he sighs, burying his face into your neck. "I'm so glad you're here. I'm a mess." he speaks in a harsh whisper, like he doesn't want anybody around you to know, even if it's only the two of you awake. The rest of boys are sleeping in your house, Johnny wasted in the kitchen, Ghost probably in the bathtub, Price... well, Price probably outside. Smoking cigar or talking to someone over the phone.

You can't care less about this in the moment.

"I have these..." he starts, but pauses. "Bad dreams." he whispers eventually. "Really bad."

You try not to ask, so he won't trouble himself with speaking; that's the level of being close that you two have. Unspoken rules, so he will be comforted enough to eventually open up, while you listen, caressing his back in circular motions, her eyes shut, when his face is in her neck.

"About what?" you ask quietly, trying not to push him, but five minutes passed, and he got quiet again. "About what are those dreams, Kyle?"

He sighs. "Bad things. Bad things I've done. Bad things I've seen." Kyle pauses. Then, very slowly, he starts again."It feels real. In one moment, I'm sleeping by your side, and by another one, someone is kidnapping you. And I can't do shit about it" There's a deep, primal terror in Kyle's tone. "Then, when I wake up..." he trails off. "And you're here, sleeping. I'm feeling like I'm losing it, baby."

Your face is a definition of worry; you weren't aware how nightmares were affecting him. It feels bad not to know. You feel like you are a shitty girlfriend, but Kyle seems to notice that, as you take a deep breath. He hugs you tighter and places a kiss on the top of your head.

"I don't want to wake you up, but it's your presence that I always want. I don't know what I would do without you." he pauses. It looks like he wishes this moment would never end; because he knows it will end, sooner or later.

Probably sooner. They already have a mission they talk about, and Kyle, quite literally, wants to vomit every time they bring that up. It's not one of the hardest, but one of the longest. Three months without you is like a dagger to his heart, he already feels so tired, but asking Price for a break feels wrong.

Task Force 141 was formed for something and that certain "something" is: being ready whenever the world needed them.

"I'm always gonna be here with you, Kyle. No matter what, no matter what you are dreaming of." you whisper, kissing his head again. "Always. Come on, with a boyfriend like you? I'm the safest in the whole world."

He's silent at that statement. It's not like he doesn't believe you, but he knows how fucked up the world is. How fucked up people are, to do anything to get something.

Probably that's why the only people that knows about your relationship is his closest family and Task Force. Other people? It would be dangerous.

"I was going to tell you something," he eventually murmurs again, staring at you. He wants to change the topic, badly. "Ask, if we want to be precise. I don't know if I should. But I want to."

You kiss the top of his head, your eyes shutting for a moment or two once again. You're tired, but not ready to go to sleep without Kyle feeling better. "What is it? You know you can tell me anything, Kyle."

"You can read me like a book." he chuckles, shaking his head.

"And you happen to be my favorite book." you point out, chuckling under your nose too. "Tell me."

"It's something I wanted to do for... a few months."

Those words hang in the air. Kyle doesn't feel the urge to add any further details; he wants to see how you react, if you react. If you might know something, if you get the idea he's trying to tell you. In his opinion, you should be able to fill the gaps, the blanks, with your own intuition.

It doesn't help you to figure his thoughts, when he stares at you with those pretty, deep brown eyes. He expects you to know, you are together for two years already, but you really don't want to overinterpret this because if you would, he'd never let you live through it.

"You want to buy an apartment together?" you ask, even if it's not what you are thinking about. Kyle scoffs, as he kisses your neck; his face is still burried here.

"No." he raises his head. His back straightens up. "I want to marry you." Garrick's words are so genuine, so full of that sincerity you needed right now. You slowly clear your throat, as you look into his eyes.

It's important moment for you.

"And you're telling me this now, so I can expect this? Or you want a clue about a ring?" you grin, as you give a little peck to his lips.

Before he speaks, you know from his look that it's not exactly it.

"I was on that long mission, deep inside enemy territory. It took... a toll on me. Listen" he sighs, interwining your fingers with his. "You're my rock, my life line. You've always been the one for me. And I want to marry you now. As soon as possible."

"As soon as... we don't even..."

"Don't worry about your family. We can arrange something small for now, and have a big wedding later. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He wants to marry you. A thought, a thought that he wants to realize as soon as possible, maybe even twice; something small, and then, something big for their families. You look at him, softly, as you think. It's hard to get the rush coming from him words, to not have second thoughts why exactly he wants it so soon.

Is it because he knows something bad is coming? You're overthinking this, sure, but it's a big life decision, it's something you could regret if you wouldn't think of it after.

"Please." he adds after a moment. "I need an answer."

Kyle acts like he can read your thoughts; he drops to one knee right in front of you, looking up at you – it's clear you're the love of his life.

"I don't want another day, another mission without you being my wife. Missions are getting tougher and I want..."

He doesn't have to say anything else; you understand, so you interrupt him, as you kiss him. You know you will have a wonderful life together. Your own family, together. You were meant to be a team, both in this life and the past. It's the order of things.

"We can marry soon, yes. Something small." you intertwine your fingers with his. "But, then, something bigger, alright? Exquisite. With everyone around us" you kiss him.

A small, hopeful smile spreads across Kyle's features. "And babies?" he asks, as if he knows the answer to that question. You can't help but laugh.

"You're speeding the process, Kyle. We will talk about it after the ring" you tease, as you kiss him.

You know that you will have babies with him, though; but the later he will realize, the longer he will want them.

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

SOMEONE BETTER

Pairings: George weasley x Fem! Summary: George tells you that you deserve better than your boyfriend Warnings: mention of kissing, abuse, cheating, crying, blood, break up Note: I'm just saying right now that you should never tolerate a boyfriend that treats you badly.

George watched from afar as you talked to your boyfriend.

he was zoned out from whatever Fred was telling him as he stared at him yelling at you as you defended yourself

George couldn't understand why you guys fought all the time, and he couldn't understand why you still stayed with him.

the younger twin couldn't even begin to count the times he would have to comfort you after another fight.

he was sick of having to do that, as your best friend, George felt like he had to do something, but what could he do? he couldn't just go up to you and tell you to break up with him, you would come up with an excuse saying it was your fault and your boyfriend was right.

"George, are you even listening to me?" Fred snapped his fingers in front of his brothers face, George continues to look past Fred to you and your boyfriend, Charlie

"why doesn't she just leave him?" George questioned

"what?" Fred turned and looked at what George was looking at, Fred cared about you too, you were his friend, but he was never really concerned about your relationship with Charlie, he believed that if Charlie got so bad that you couldn't deal with it, you'd leave, and obviously you haven't broken up with him, so Charlie mustn't've been THAT bad.

but George knew the real truth, even if you hadn't told him yourself. you were scared, you didn't know what would happen if you broke up with him and you didn't even want to, you were so in love and thought this was normal, even if he frightened you.

"she's fine, George, if she wanted to, she would. and she doesn't so they must be fine" Fred shrugged, turning back to George

"just forget about it, she'll be fine"

"what if he hurts her?" George frowned

"i doubt he would do something like that, and if he does, then I guess you could do something but I don't think it would change anything." Fred replied, making George look at him

"let's go, let them be, we'll probably see her later" Fred pulled him away, George still looking back, seeing Charlie step closer to you, still yelling and getting louder as you flinched back

-

George sat on the couch of the common room, you beside him as you cried, telling him about the fight

"he said that I need to spend more time with him, he was accusing me of cheating and just started to yell, George, it's fine, it's my fault, I should make more time for him" you assured him as you wiped your tears

"it's not ok, Y/n! you guys fight all the time and you have the right to space, you should be able to be without him every once in a while" George argued softly

"I know, but clearly I'm without him too much, I need to spend more time with him, George" you smiled

"he doesn't need to yell at you"

"George just forget it, please, stop worrying about me, I'm fine" you insisted

George stayed silent as he stared at you.

it shouldn't have to be like this George thought to himself

he often found himself thinking about you, whether it was just knowing you shouldn't be with Charlie or worrying about you because of Charlie, or just daydreaming about you, specifically with him.

ever since he was younger, when he met you, he knew you meant a lot to him, he hates seeing you hurt, and it wasn't until a few years ago until he wanted nothing more than to make sure you never did.

it wasn't until earlier that year that he was going to tell you, Fred encouraged George enough to tell you about his feelings for you, but when he had found you to confess, you had excitedly cut him off to tell him that Charlie Trentwell had asked you out.

he wanted to happy for you, and he tried, but he had thought you liked him back, Fred had convinced him that you did and he was distraught when you had told him you were going out with Charlie that weekend

George had quickly left and scolded Fred, telling him that he was wrong and stupid

"don't worry, Georgie, it won't last long, I bet they won't last a month" Fred reassured George that day.

but here George sat, next to you, who had been with Charlie was 7 months.

and he knew you weren't going to willingly leave Charlie any time soon.

-

George was walking to halls with you, you had came to him 4 more times in the past week crying after another fight with Trentwell

George hated watching him treat you like shit, when he could treat you so much better, he would never yell at you like Charlie did, he would never purposely make you cry the way Charlie did, all he could do was wish you saw that he was there, that your best friend, George weasley, was there and completely in love with you.

"what the hell?" you both heard an angry voice behind you.

you turned around first and met Charlie's eyes, he was mad

Charlie stormed up to you and glared, his hands in a fist as he breathed heavily

"what the hell are you doing with him?" he glared at George before looking back at you

"we, we're just-" you started wearily before George spoke up

"that's none of your business" he stood tall.

George was taller than Charlie so it wasn't hard to stand his ground.

Charlie chuckled "that's funny"

"what is?" you asked confused

"that you're trying to make me jealous, with him! did you really think that was going to work?" Charlie continued laughing

"I wasn't, that not what I'm d-" you started

"save it" Charlie hissed, grabbing your hand and began dragging you away

"hey!" George yelled out, storming towards him

Charlie stopped in his tracks and looked and George madly

"piss off, Weasel, she doesn't Love you, she never will, so leave. her. alone, go back to you one room house where you all sleep together" Charlie spat at George

George's family was something that he never let anybody cross. if anybody disrespected his family, he would make sure they never did it again without knowing the consequence

"say that again, I dare you" George spoke daringly

"you heard me" Charlie stepped forward

"Charlie" You warned

"shut up!" he yelled at you, making you flinch at the sudden loud noise

George locked eyes with you and you shook your head at him, silently begging him to not do something stupid, or something he'll regret later

"well? is that it? you just going to stand there, weasel?" Charlie chuckled

George stood there, remaining silent as he looked away from you, respecting your wishes.

"that's what I thought, you fucking coward" Charlie continued talking badly

"if I see you near her again, I swear to merlin, you won't be so lucky"

Charlie grabbed you again and dragged you away

later that day you came to George in the common room and sat next to him as he sat on the couch, staring at the fire.

he could tell you had been crying without even looking at you

"you need to break up with him" he said, breaking silence

"he was joking about what he said, George, it was a joke" you informed him

he chuckled under his breath sarcastically "clearly I haven't taught you anything from jokes"

"George I'm not breaking up with him, he said he was sorry, he didn't mean it, and I love him and he loves me too, fighting is normal, ok?" you told him, fully believing your own words

"it's not healthy to be fighting this much, Y/n, you need to leave him, you deserve better" George fought

"George stop, I'm fine, I'm not leaving him, I love him"

"has he ever hurt you, physically" George asked softly

you hesitated for a second and you didn't need to answer for him to know the answer

he got up and started going to the stairs

"where are you going?" you asked him, looking back

"going to bed, wouldn't want him to see us together" he whispered.

-

George ignored you for the next couple of days. you had seen Fred and he told you it was because he didn't want you getting hurt, because you weren't going to listen to him when he told you to leave

Charlie had started another fight saying it was your fault he lost the quidditch match, he said your cheering was too loud that he got too distracted. you agreed and apologised, even though you weren't at the game, instead, studying with Hermione

George was walking along the halls after lunch, he was skipping class and was looking for good spots to set up a prank Fred was planning

he had turned a corner and stopped in his tracks when he found Charlie, snogging a girl against a wall that was definitely not you

George walked up to them and yelled out, making them break apart

"what do we have here?" George raised his eyebrows at Charlie

"you didn't see anything, Weasel, you hear me?" Charlie pointed his finger

"you can think that but truth be told, I saw a lot" George glared at him angrily

he was furious with Trentwell, how he could even think of doing this to you, after accusing you of doing this shit, he goes and does it, what a fucking hypocrite!?

"I'm telling you that you didn't see anything, I swear if you tell anybody, especially Y/n, you'll regret it" Charlie stepped closer

"I don't think I will" George stepped closer

"If she finds out about this, you're dead!" Charlie threatened

George laughed at your boyfriend face, thinking his threat is funny

"who do you think she'll believe then, huh? her boyfriend or her pathetic little best friend who's in love with her and sleeps in the same bed as his whole family" Charlie smiled cockily

there was nothing stopping George to fighting Charlie, you weren't there to shake your head, to tell him that Charlie's only joking, that you're fine.

only Charlie was there, with his new chick who he cheated on you with, so he didn't even think when he punched him square in the face

Charlie stumbled back and held his nose which started bleeding

"say that again, I dare you" George huffed

"fuck you!" Charlie yelled and threw a punch at George, hitting him on the lip.

George laughed and pushed him to the wall, punching him in the stomach, making him curl down

the girl he was with had run off in fear. George didn't care if she was going to find someone to help oe if she wasn't coming back. he was going to make sure that Charlie got what he deserved, unlike what you've gotten the past 7 months, going on 8

George pushed Charlie to the ground and started kicking him in the stomach over and over again, making him cough

Charlie pulled on George leg and knocked him on the ground before punching him and George groaned in pain from his back

George sat up and pilled Charlie to the ground, he gripped onto his collar and bagan hitting his face multiple times before.

the end of the lesson came to an end as George beat up Charlie, the classes emptying and the students came through the halls, finding the younger weasley twins beating up one of the most popular guys in the school

"you're a fucking piece of shit!" George cursed at Trentwell

the students began cheering 'fight' as Charlie managed to push George off him.

you came into the hall, hearing all the ruckus as you strolled to your next class

you pushed through and gasped as you saw Charlie and George beating each other up

"you cheating piece of shit!" George screamed as he kicked Charlie's groin, making him curl up, holding his private parts

George was supporting a cut on his lip and his eye looked like it was going to be black by tomorrow while Charlie had a bloody nose that looked crooked, a cut on his cheekbone and an already developed back eye as it began swelling up

George sat down on Charlie's torso, pinning him down as he slammed his fist on your boyfriends face over and over again

"never, ever go near her again, you hear me, Trentwell?! leave her the fuck alone!" George yelled, his arm flexing as it went back and fourth, connecting with Charlie's face.

"fine! fine I won't!" Charlie whimpered out, his voice cracking

you wouldn't expect him to be anything but strong, he was a quidditch beater after all, but you never thought he would beat anything other than a bludger.

George got up and toward over Charlie breathlessly as Charlie laid there unconscious. passed out from the pain and blood

George wiped the blood off his lip with his sleeve and locked eyes with you as you stared.

he slowly walked up to you and held out his hand

"c'mon" he ushered

you stayed silent as you subconsciously took his hand. he walked you guys through the castle as sat down

-

"what was that about?" you asked quietly, knowing the answer but wanting him to confirm it as he stared at the fire of the common room

George looked at you and stared for a moment before speaking

"you deserve to be loved, not just considered, you deserve to be loved, not given up on"

you fell silent again, before you took out your wand and said a carm that brought a bag out ice into your hand

you looked at his wounds and held out the icepack, George took it and placed it on his eye, grimacing at the cold

"who was the girl?!" you asked lowly, tears forming in your eyes as you thought of Charlie cheating on you

"doesn't matter, Y/n, you don't have to worry about him anymore" he clenched his jaw

"I don't know how many times I've told you that you deserve better, he never treated you the way you should be" he told you.

"yeah well, I highly doubt anybody would treat me 'right', George" you sighed

"you don't even know" he shook his head, quietly laughing

"don't know what?" you wiped a tear that escaped your eye

"the people who would treat you well" he replied, still looking at you carefully

"yeah like who? George?" you asked desperately

"I would" he answered simply, looking away

you blinked, deep in thought when you thought of what he was saying

"what Charlie was saying about you- me, it was true?" you questioned

"of course it was, it's been true for years" he looked at you again, removing the ice-pack from his eye

you took it from his hands and held it there, knowing his hand was getting tired of holding it there

"why didn't you tell me?" you frowned, surprised by what he was confessing

"I was going to, you cut me off and stopped me from embarrassing myself" he sighed, looking down at his lap

"the day Charlie asked me out" you mumbled

you reached for his hand and held it.

"I'm sorry" you apologised when he didn't say anything

"you've got nothing to apologise for, it's not your fault" he assured you, giving your hand a light squeeze

"well, I just got out of a pretty bad relationship, but, if you give me a little time, if you want, we could try it out" you suggested

"you sure?" he raised his eyebrows

"you say I deserve better, you say. who's better than you?"

----------------------------------

[danwhobrowses]

Prefacing that, again time zones, I've only been able to glean the latest CR episode and that I do not agree with their in-character opinions on the gods, I'd like to remind fans to try and not get super ugly about their criticism of Ashton Greymoore.

I'll be the first to throw my hands up and say they're among my favourite C3 characters so there may be bias, but I've been getting flashes of the Shard Incident from reactions towards their recent and vocal disdain for the gods. Disagree with them all you want, Taliesin knows that the gods can't simply leave since they're the one who said that the Wildmother would die if she left, but understand that it's a character flaw and if you recall the hardships of their backstory, the unanswered prayers, and that their only exchanges with the gods have required them to do something or, with the Dawnfather Angel, have been met with cold disregard, it's understandable how they got to feeling that way. Ashton has lived alone and been told they don't matter for a lot of their life; no gods, no family, no nurturing presence to guide them, they've been abandoned, used, and - with additional influence by the Dominox accusing them of wanting FCG to die - are currently between blaming themselves and the Changebringer for their closest friend's death.

Make no mistake Ashton is wrong, I think the self-confessed hypocrite with also self-confessed poor morality knows that deep down, or at least knows that they're not the kind of person who should be in charge. Vassalheim is a difficult place for a titan vessel to be in so it is unsure what they will do from here; perhaps investigate the Earth Titan? Commune with the Emperor and Empress? Or maybe be brought to the gods and be able to vent or reconcile with them (and maybe get some closure with FCG, speak with his spirit as like a mediator between the Hells and the Gods)? But it feels like Taliesin is being vocal for a reason, and it's either to invite Matt to challenge it (I've said in other comments but I would love if Ashton found some comfort, not worship or a pact but maybe just a dialogue, in the Everlight: a goddess of healing, temperance and redemption - all of which would help Ashton mentally - as unlikely as it'd be) or find another maybe primordial route to give Ashton a narrative tether towards stopping Predathos.

Let's just, not be cruel about the character, they are more than just their bad trauma and grief-led opinion on gods remember?

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

after last night

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

➷ Summary : there is something that Eddie couldn't find to forget about you after that night

➷ Word Count : it's one shot

➷ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, no use of y/n, Eddie and reader are both (21), I made a bestfriend character named "Alexis", SMUT‼️, p in v penetration, both receiving, unprotected sex, aftercare, alcohol consumption, establishing a relationship, Eddie is a player in the past! reader is just an amazing gal and Eddie is so an awe to her, that's it!

➷ What to Expect : SMUT‼️ and FLUFF! this is just literally hot steamy delicious smut really hehe, you'll see an worried Eddie here, this is set in Modern era but it still screams 1980's

➷ Note To Reader : basically, I am literally using my favorite artists songs into an Eddie fic at this point, DON'T Y'ALL LOVE THIS SONG?!? 😩🤌🏻

➷ Author Note : I can't believe y'all liked my last post "you ain't woman enough" I didn't expect all of you to enjoy it and I wasn't even satisfied with it but wow y'all reassured me it was okay! SO THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT! 🥺🫶🏻✨

"I have plus one, you have to go with me!" Alexis holding up the two invitation cards with a look that says "please, I beg of you"

"I'll think about it" you glanced at her as you jotted down notes for tomorrow's class

"yeah, you'll think about it after a million years" she goes to your side and leans on the wall looking at you

You shut your eyes while you're holding both of your hands in front of you

You know she won't stop bugging you until you say "yes"

"Girl- please, this is Corroded Coffin! not anyone is lucky enough to be on their first music listening party!"

"Can't you bring someone who is dying to get there?" you mocked your reply to her as she rolls her eyes

"They don't matched my vibe and besides I love your company!"

"I may be loud, only to you but in that zone? I'll be sitting alone in the couch throughout the night"

She scoffs "Oh, please, you're so very well spoken once you get comfortable with the person you're talking to"

"it's not an immediate connection! I've had to warm up to them first" you say as your keyboard makes clacks sounds as you type at the background as her eye twitches in annoyance

"But-"

"It's lucky when something else sparked" you narrow your eyes at her as she huffs

"Come on! Please?!? it's only a few days left and we're gonna go home to Hawkins and we haven't tried or experienced something like this!"

You sigh without looking at her as you turned your head at her as she softly chants "please, please, please"

Wouldn't it hurt to have some fun for once?

"Alright! Alright fine! I'll go with you!"

"Yes! I knew you would come to your senses" She happily jumps and she hugs you and you chuckled as you roll your eyes playfully

"I'll go ready my outfit and you should too!" The smile is still intact to her lips as she takes her leave goes straight to her closet

You're so indecisive

You're so indecisive that you can't pick an outfit

"Oh my god, you've been staring at those three outfits for an hour!" Alexis exclaims at you in the reflection as she puts Velcro rollers over her hair

"Let me think"

"No- you can't think when you can't decide!"

"You're not helping, Alexis"

"Do you want me to choose for you?"

"No" you're staring so sternly at the two outfits

The colors are pretty much all black but the one outfit is a set of leather tube top and skirt with fishnet stockings and some edgy accessories, the next outfit is very dainty-ish top because of the ruffles all over the neckline with black ripped jeans, and lastly, it's literally the one you've been staring hard for too goddamn long

It's a black velvet dress, it screams "femme fatale" but still remains the elegance of the dress, it got a nice trim over the edges and it will fits you so well, it's a bit short since it ends just above your knees

The thing is that

The chest part design? is too revealing, it's a. cute strap sweetheart top and maybe, you'll be so overdressed since not only that is your problem

It's also backless

"If we come late to this party because of you, god- I forgot how hard it is for you to pick an outfit" she takes the cap off from the lipstick liner as she outline her lips, she's still talking to you at the reflection of the vanity mirror

You're thinking a lot of it deeply until you remembered something

You have this black glittery short blazer and this will be perfect with your black Stiletto Black Ankle Strap Pumps

"Wait- I got it" you snap your fingers, you raised the dress that you picked and Alexis squeals in excitement

"Oh my gosh, you'll look so hot!"

You chuckled as you shake your head

"Okay, so, there's Jeff the bass guitar, Gareth the drummer and-"

She turns off the engine of her car as she recites the band members names again

"Eddie, the lead singer and guitarist, yeah- I know" you tug up a smile at the end as she beams at you, she claps her hands

"Well, look at you! you remember it!"

"Of course, I remember it, you keep yapping about them all day to me"

You both get out of the car as she rolls her eyes at you, she locks the car as both of your heels starts clicks the pavement

"Do you listen to their music?"

"I did"

"I thought you didn't like that kind of music"

"Alexis, I just don't have the time to listen to it that doesn't mean I don't like it"

"But you did listen to it?"

"Some of it, yeah"

"It's really good, right?"

"Yeah, it is"

Once you both got in the front, the door swings open a curly short haired boy with red checkered vest and a black denim pants happily greets

"Hey there, baby!" He opens up his arms as your bestfriend rans into him

"Gareth!"

"How are you?"

"I'm good"

"Let me take a look at you"

"You're so stunning!"

The boy is grinning very widely at your bestfriend as you watch them both with a small smile at your face and when you and him looked at each other, your bestfriend introduced you

"Um- Gareth, this is my bestfriend in college and my plus one"

"Oh, hello" he offers his hand for you to shake as you gladly accepted it as you say your name

"I think Eddie is going to like you"

"Excuse me?"

"Gareth! Don't start the traffic at the front door-"

He stopped when he saw his friend and you

"Oh hey"

You shyly wave at the young man behind Gareth

"This is Jeff!" Your excited bestfriend pulls Jeff out as they both share a laugh

You shake hands at Jeff "Nice to meet you"

"You too"

You're amused at how Jeff kicks Gareth inside as you both walked inside of the house

They act like silly little kids that you almost forgot that they're famous rockstars

Now, you can feel little by little that your shy demeanor is fading slowly

"Isn't that right? Jeff?" Gareth asks as he throws his arms around at your bestfriend

"Right about what?" Jeff stand beside you as he furrows his eyebrows at his friend

"That Eddie will like her" Gareth points at you and Jeff looked at you with both of his eyebrows raised

"Yeah, definitely" Jeff says with his eyes wide as you get even more confused why they keep saying that

"Where is he? anyway?"

"You know Eddie, he's always late" Jeff crossed both of his arms as he goes to the front facing the three of you

"Ladies, feel free to help yourselves at the food and drink at the table, I know y'all both starving" Gareth squeezes Alexis to his side as he joins Jeff walking into a different direction of the house, they both said they'll be back

"Okay, no wonder why you feel comfortable with them, I see, I get it now" you sigh as you smile in disbelief

"I told you so!" she giggles as she takes your hand leading you to the dining table

You both came in early, so, there's only a few people inside, there's a distant music playing at the background

Gareth is not lying to what he just said to the both of you that you just realized you we're indeed hungry until you eaten one of their meals

Ever since you started college, you haven't had a decent meal

Both of you are stuffed and full, you ask at the bar for a drink

"One bottle of Heineken, please"

"Me too!"

"Cheers to finding yourself a boyfriend"

You snorted but you shrugged "I guess, cheers to that then?"

"I haven't told you where I met them, so, I first met Gareth at a convenience store and I don't know something really else clicked between the two of us, so, we hang out and then he gave me an invite"

"So, this is the man that you're talking about since last week?"

"Yeah"

"And you're officially his girlfriend"

She blushes "yes"

"Wow" you take a swig of your drink as you turn away from your bestfriend

"What is it?"

"I'm happy for you, I really do, but it seems so fast?"

Before she can reply, "You know what, I'll stop being protective, I'm just concerned- that's all"

She smiles at you as she nods to your words

"You're just like him"

"Like who?"

"Eddie"

Oh, there goes that name again

"What about him?"

"He's a really really nice guy, I'm not even kidding! he's also a gentleman"

You piqued an interest to that as your bestfriend Alexis smirks at the look that you just gave her

Gareth calls out to her name but Alexis hesitates to leave you all alone

"You can go ahead"

"Are you sure? I don't want-"

"I'll be fine, Alexis, just also look out for yourself, okay? go have fun"

She sadly smiles as she hugs you before she left and went to his drummer boyfriend

You deeply sighs as you finish your drink, you decide to take a look around the house

The guests are growing bigger and bigger as you started strolling around in the place

Every inch of the house feels so expensive, it's spacious, the white and gold furniture and the paintings all over across the room, you like how it styled

Much to your fascination, you bumped over the person whose quickly running that you fall back down on the floor

"Shit, my bad- I am so sorry" he reaches out for you to hold his hand

You clutch at your chest and winced at how hard it is but you dismissive your hand anyways and took his hand

"I'll survive, don't worry about it" you give him a small smile as you got back up on your feet

The male chuckles, you take him in, his hair is long brown curl locks and slightly long bangs and he's wearing a black Ray-Ban sunglasses and a pair of Metallica muscle tee and leather pants and black boots

"Why are you in such a hurry, anyway?" You ask him, you dusted yourself off

He ignores your question instead he ask you this "Would you accompany me in there?"

You tilt your head at him and looked over the crowded room

"I-I wouldn't-"

"Please, it would mean so much to me?" he opens his arm for you to hold but you still hesitated but sigh in defeat as you take it

On the way there, he speaks up again

"Did you come here alone?"

"Uh- no, my bestfriend from college, Alexis, used her plus one on me, I think you knew her already"

He chuckles again "Oh yeah, Alexis, she's a fun gal, I didn't know that she has fine bestfriend"

You knit your brows together, the moment he turns to look at you and he smiles, you became shy under his gaze

"Have you met everyone?"

"Yeah, I met Jeff and Gareth, they're cool but-" you replied to him and you notice some of the guests that you both passed while walking are waving at him

Who is this person?

"I haven't met Eddie" you say as you watch him open the doors

The moment the both of you step inside and the people roared in cheer, you startled by the joyous screams of all the guests

He laughs as he turns around back at you and takes his glasses off

"You already met him, darling"

Oh my god

Oh my fucking god

Why are you so clueless? You've been with him?!?

He's THEE Eddie Munson?!?

You're stunned and your mouth is agape as you stare at him in shock

He smirks as he places his Ray-Ban sunglasses on top of your head as he hold the tip of your chin raising it slowly to meet his gaze

"I'll see you later, sweetheart" he winks at you as he turns his back at you leaving you completely speechless

You know Corroded Coffin

Of course, you know the band name members

Yes, you listen to their songs

But

You didn't watch their music videos that's why you have no idea what they're look like

You're so occupied with your set of tasks that you didn't have the time to look at their faces

There, you see him again, talking to somebody else as he glances at you wiggling his fingers as you cupped your mouth in embarrassment as you shyly wave at him

He chuckles as he goes back talking to other person

Alexis pulled your hand in the corner as you both giggled to each other

"Girl- oh my gosh, you did not just come in with Eddie!"

"I have literally no idea! Alexis!"

"See? I told you he'll like you!" Gareth came into her side as he holds a drink into his hand as he points at you

"He's probably not" you deny him as Gareth rolls his eyes at you

"It's clear as day that you came in with him!" Jeff exclaims

"I think he was just being nice because he accidentally bumped on me earlier"

Alexis covers her mouth as the three of them looking at the person behind you

"It's my fault, I know" he tuts as he slinks his arm around your waist, you're surprised at the sudden action before you can even look at the person behind you

You pursed your lips together as you look down

"Mind you if I steal her from you guys?" He pulls you to his side as your eyes go wide at your bestfriend

She raises both of her hands with her face that says "Sorry, I can't help you"

"Yes, by all means!" Gareth aggressively nods as he shoos the both of you away

Jeff flashes you an eat-shiting grin at you as Eddie starts walking while still holding you closely to him

"Uh- rude of me, by the way, I did not quite catch your name"

You tell him your name as he nods but not leaving you with a dashing smile

He walks you through his room and you suddenly immersed in it's glory

It's captivating and it's so like him

He closes the door behind him and you roam your eyes around the area

"Wow, your room is so amazing"

"Thanks, you know all of this I just saved a lot of money to get all of this stuff that I wanted- uh- what's your favorite part?"

You smile as you point out the biggest window, you've ever seen

"Oh, that" both of you walked closer to it

He sighs at the scenery outside "Same"

You took the sunglasses from your head that he placed before

He pushes your hand away and lets his hold linger in there

"Keep it"

One of the crew/staff member starts knocking at the door telling Eddie someone is looking for him and it's urgent

"Can you stay here until I get back? You can do whatever you want in here"

"Um, sure" you say and smile as you nod at him

Before he closes the door, "Don't go anywhere? Okay?"

You chuckled "I won't, don't worry"

It's been 45 minutes since he left as you glanced over the clock as you finished looking at his achievement wall and shelf, you shift on your stance as you decided to take off your blazer

You walked through his vinyl collections, you run your hands on it until you saw "Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" you picked it up and looked over the cover

You looked at the door for one last time

"I can wait for him" you shrug as you take the jacket off and holding the platter very gently as you placed it down and raised the tonearm needle and pressed the play button

A smile grows on your lips as you hear the familiar tune

Your head starts bopping and you sway your body into the song

"I'm sorry, I'm late, sweetheart" Eddie came inside of his room, finally, but you're so lost in the music

You didn't even hear the door click closed

You're about to see him behind you but you're still dancing into the song

Eddie's mouth slowly hanging open as he is so enthralled to what he is watching right now

You took the pin off from your hair updo as you shake your head slightly, so, it falls, god- his heart just dissipated

The soft smile from your lips, and oh so freaking gorgeous gorgeous dress and he just wanna take your hand and marry you right away

The moment you turned around you open your eyes, you saw him standing in there, you didn't see how he is so entranced by you

You laugh in shock as lovely gasp giggles that came out from your mouth as you held your chest and you threw your head back

The time felt slow as he just stands there

He never want this night to end

"Oh, you came back!" You say as your laughter died down

Eddie, come on, man, speak up, he blinks rapidly as he clears his throat as he shoves his hands into his pockets "Y-Yeah, I'm back" he winced at how he stuttered

"I hope you don't mind me playing one of your precious vinyls" you walk over through his vinyl player and you're about to stop the music until he grabs your wrists as he slowly reaches to hold your hand, you're now looking at him with your hair beautiful laying down on your shoulders

"Don't stop the music yet" he says as he beams up and tug you on the center of his room as you giggled in the process as he starts dancing with you

"My love is alive (woo)

Way down in my heart

Although we are miles apart

If you ever need a helping hand

I'll be there on the double

Just as fast as I can

Don't you know that there"

He takes you by his arms, he twirls you around, he held you close to his chest as he start making dance moves that will make your stomach hurt

He stares at you as you happily dance with a big smile on your face

He moves closer to you, you raised your eyebrows as he stops you from moving as he holds both of your forearms

Your eyes goes all over his face, you saw his eyes flit right back to your eyes and to your lips

He leans forward and then boom, he pulls you close to place a kiss on your lips, your eyes are wide but flutters shut as you cupped both of his cheeks as your lips moved along with his

The kiss was so soft and sweet until he walks forwards as you walked backward pinning you on the wall, he grabs you by the waist as you mewl into the kiss, you placed your palms over his shoulders as it slowly crossed your arms around his neck

He is now flushed into your body inhaling every scent of you, the both of you got out of breath as he starts suckling the skin from your neck and your collarbones

You tug at his hair as he groans, the music behind is now ignored and coming to an end, you hum at the sweet spot that he found earning a moan out of you

"Oh, you sound so good" his voice is suddenly deeper and lower than before

He caged you in the middle as he plant his palms on either side of your head as he licks his lips as he looks at you from up and down

You looked at him with those sickening eyes that he can't wait to see it squeezing shut from pounding at you so hard

You reached at his tattoos as you traced your fingers at them, he watches you intently, a sudden confidence went through you as you think of something

"Maybe, your friends will be looking for you?" You say without making your voice sound like a honey-glazed tone, you look over to his shoulder as he turns his head around it

"Nah, they won't be needing me-"

He stopped talking when he felt you putting something inside on his pocket

You smirked at him as he gotten amused as he reaches down and turns out to be your black laced panties his eyes almost bulge out of his skull as he raised it in front of you

You bat your eyelashes on him acting all coy and innocent as he bits his bottom lip

"Real smooth, princess"

"I don't know what you mean by that"

He scoffs as he chuckles while shaking his head, he clicks his tongue at the sight of you

He caught you off guard when he carries you by the hip, you shrieked at the action immediately as you wrapped your arms around his neck his free hand swiftly taking off his pants

Carrying you got your dress riled up in the process as he didn't waste a minute any longer, he didn't give you a time to adjust as he enters your hole and you feel him pulsing inside of you, you take a sharp breath as you close your eyes as you throw your head back

"Jesus fucking christ" he grunts as he starts from a slow pace until it becomes quicker

Making you a cockdrunk mess as you clench around him, you moan when he starts to get rougher, you hold him close tightly making him rest on the crook of your shoulder

You whimper "E-Eddie, oh- you're good" you kiss him again surprising him as he gladly kisses you back but this time it was more lustful and desperate as your both of your teeth clashed

You're sliding up and down against the wall as he fucks you deeper making you gasp as he hit the spot both of you are heavily breathing as Eddie's contorts into pleasure, the way your cunt swallowing him so easily is driving him nuts

"You're so goddamn wet" your breath hitches as you crossed your legs around his waist

He sheaths once more until you screamed as you came undone

You pant as he carries you again leading you into his bed, he takes himself out of you making you whine on the feel of emptiness, the male laugh as you huff and puff at him

He takes off your heels and his muscle tee, you used your elbows to move backwards at his bed

You're in awe at him completely naked in front you as he leans down his fingers playing the hem of your dress his eyes are asking for a permission as you hold a finger up

He watches you as you start to take off your dress, he gulped when he saw how absolutely eternal you are

All is bare on display for him

Only for him

Your shy demeanor came back when he looks at you like that but he removes that as he starts to kiss you once again, you yelped as you kiss him

While kissing you he is now positioning himself between your legs as he lets himself inside of you again

You moan into his mouth as he starts to goes lower until he's on your chest he places love marks all over it

He held your hips as he pounds into you harder, your mouth making an "0" shape as he smirks

Your cunt squelch as he pulls himself in and out of you, he pulls you down earning a high-pitched moan from you as he raised your one leg and as he plunges himself inside of you making your back arched

"W-where do you want me, sweets?" He says as he growl when you start clenching at him again

His eyes went bigger when you changed the position, now, you're on top of him

You move your hips keeping up the pace as you watch his eyes rolled squeezing it shut

"Inside of me, I need you to fill me up" it's the only you managed to say

He doesn't know if his mind playing tricks on him

Did you really say that to him?!?

Eddie became frantic as he can't bust inside of you just yet as you grin at him evilly

You roll your hips as your moan become louder and louder as Eddie starts to squirm beneath you

"Fucking hell, yes, use me- j-just like that" he reveled as he sits up holding you and pulling you closer to him

He kneads your breast as he watches you touching yourself down below making him groan

The bodies slapping is the most unholiest that you ever heard in your life as you kiss him while your hands went through his hair, you got him distracted by the sudden sweet sensation

As you can feel your body shaking and the heat forming and building up, he shudder when you pin him down on the bed, the mattress springs starts to squeak as you fuck him

Oh, he is a goner

You screamed in pleasure as he shoots his load inside of you, he didn't let you down as he fills you up into the brim, you can feel it dripping as you collapsed at him

Your whole body is spent as he chuckles lowly

You softly moan when he still fills you up as he moves his hips

Both of your body feels sticky from the sweat but you didn't mind and neither does he

You start to wobble as you remove yourself from his laying beside him as he smiles lazily at you

You gave him a sweet loving smile at him

"Was I good for you?" you ask him he doesn't missed the way your eyes flashes with wonder

He raised both of his eyebrows with a look that says "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I-I don't know what you, what you did, but you did it, girl, see- normally I don't stutter but you d-d-do it to me!" He loses it, he got frustrated to fix his words as he let it be

Ever since he laid his eyes on you, he is staggered by your beauty

You crack up a laugh that he wishes he could hear it forever as he pulls you beside him

You both stayed like that for a while as you can feel your heavy eyes begging for you to go sleep, Eddie slipped off of you as he wore his boxers and pulls in his drawer a clean cloth

He opens the blanket as he takes care of you nicely, you're appalled, really, you've never had this level of intimacy before, you blushed

He saw your face as he smiles, "You're so adorable, baby" he chuckles as you hide your face with both of your palms

He brings back the blanket to cover you as you went into your side again

He kisses the top of your head as you wrapped your arms around him

He massages your scalp as it lulled you to sleep as you drift away

Meanwhile, Eddie, saw a shooting star as he looks at his window, says a prayer and hope it comes true

You woke up in the morning and you're still in the same position as it was before, he holds you close to him, you stare at him, he is so pretty with his long eyelashes and specks of freckles across his face

You take his arm off of you carefully, you slide off from the sheets as you picked up the discarded clothes all over the floor as you start dressing up

You saw your reflection in the mirror

Wow, damn, you didn't really who were you last night

There's something about him and that made you feel, you sigh in content with a smile on your face

You saw what time it is as you quickly put on your heels but before you headed out to the door

You smile so fondly as you placed a kiss on his lips and into his cheek, you giggle quietly when it leaves a mark because of your lipstick that you put on earlier

But, of course, you kept his sunglasses

"I wonder what's gotten to them" Jeff sips his coffee as he writes a new song for the band

Gareth chows down his favorite cereal, it crunches as he speaks "I think I heard someone left earlier in the morning but maybe that's just-"

Both of them can hear the loud pats of his barefeet as he runs quickly into the kitchen, even they're aware of his incoming presence, they both still get startled by him

"Where is she?!?" Eddie's voice starts cracking up like someone killed his loved one, he appears with his maroon robe

"Who?" Jeff takes a full gulp from his coffee as he analyzes his friend

Gareth still munching onto his cereal as he furrows his brows in confusion

"Her! Th-The girl with Alexis yesterday!"

"Oh, her" Jeff flashes a teasing wink to Eddie as his face drops in annoyance

"I think she left, Eddie"

"When?"

"Earlier in the morning, I heard the front door and gate opened"

Eddie starts pacing around at them back and forth, Gareth and Jeff eyes followed him as they both looked at each other because-

Eddie is only behaving like this when he doesn't have no idea for D&D campaign, when he can't write a song or when something happened to his beloved guitar

"I-I need to see her again, I can't- I have to- I want to see her" he rambles into his friends

"Man, are you alright?" Jeff asks him as walks over through him with his arms crossed

"No, I am not- I just really want to see her-"

"Gareth, do you have Alexis phone number?"

He nods but his expression changed as he remembers something, he even stops mid-chew

"Oh god, what does that mean?!?"

"She told me that they're going home"

"Home?!? Where?!?"

"She doesn't say, dude, they're college students, I think they're just here for it"

Eddie's eyes became glassy as he goes down and sat on the floor

Jeff slowly turns his head to Gareth with a face "Are you seeing this?!?"

"My life is over"

The line alone grabbed the both men's attention to him

"It's over, I'm finished!" He throws his hands up as he runs his palms through his face

Jeff squatted down in front of him as he hesitates at first but went it with it anyways as he placed his palm over his shoulder

"What happened?"

"She changed the game, Jeff"

"Ah" he shows a knowing look to Eddie making him huffed as rocks back and forth

Whining as to why you left all so sudden?!?

But, he knew you'll left sooner or later but not like this?!?

He has literally no idea where you from, he doesn't have any single contact that he can reach you, the worst fact is that

He doesn't even know where you are

Do you think of him like this?

Did you like him? Or was it just a one-night stand with you?

Do you also hope that you both shared the same feelings like as he did?

Do you wonder what he was doing after last night?

3 weeks had passed

A frown is evident on your face, but, sure, you already knew the moment you stepped on that line, you shouldn't be surprised when tabloids and it's all over the news about the headline

"A player rockstar"

You we're elated with him and your mind won't shut up thinking about him all the time ever since that night

It couldn't get any worse when you overheard other people talking about him, the radio, the television, the posters that are smacked every inch of the building you passed through, the billboards you saw, he is everywhere, everywhere you go, everywhere you went, even if you're so far away from him now, you can't never avoid him if you try

A part of you hoped and wished that he somehow also felt what you feel for him

You cursed through your breath when you forgot to left a phone number but you trash that idea since

He never asked for it

So, you left

"You wonder where he is now, huh?"

"Hmm?" You say as you play with his sunglasses that he gave to you

"Don't play coy with me, you know who I'm talking about" she saids as she takes a sip from her coffee

"He's probably with someone else now"

She scoffs as she leans down to narrow her eyes at you "Well, the people say he might be a player but you know all of this junk is false, you know they twist their words to make it sell, right?" She throws the clippings away from you as you released a deep sigh

A hope in your eyes are noticable as she smiles softly at you "How about you and Gareth?"

"We're doing great but we decided to take things slowly for a while, I took your advice"

"No, I shouldn't said anything"

"But I'm glad you did and you we're right"

You tug up a small smile on the corners of your mouth

"This isn't about me, it's about you, I may not knew Eddie that a lot but when he lets you hold him and didn't want you to stop to care for him? He is so madly in love with you"

"There you go again feeding my delusions"

"Look, I'm serious, just listen, Eddie loves you and you'll thank me later"

You let out a small chuckle "Okay, Alexis"

"There's someone for you at the phone" Jeff went into the studio room as he watches his friend tuning his guitar

"Who?" He asks

"Elizabeth?"

Oh

Oh, he remembers her all right, but he cringed as he looks at his friend as he slowly stands up and placed his guitar on the stand as he whispers

"Tell her that I am not home"

"Well, I'll be damned, that's the 4th girl that you just dismissed!" Gareth throws the music sheets as it flies everywhere making a mess as Eddie glares at him

"I don't want them in my life anymore"

Jeff studies his friend as he realizes that he is sooooo determined to see you again, if only, he can see you again

He knows that his friend won't stand for it, he won't stay still, he ain't gonna calm down until he reunites with you again

"Right, so, you just met some girl-"

"He is not some girl, Gareth"

Gareth knows he is already pissed, so, he held his hand up in surrender

The phone rings again and Eddie thinks it's the most annoying sound ever as the ringing tone bleeds through his ear

He stands up fast as he yanks the phone wire ending up breaking it as his friend's watches in shock as he threw the telephone across the room

"W-Why did you do that?!? That could be important!" Jeff walks over to the destroyed telephone as he goes to the kitchen awaiting for the next ring and Eddie is about to- but he stops him by holding his chest

He picks it up as he answers, "Hello?"

Jeff pinches his nose bridge as he grimaces at Eddie who is now wearing a smug look on his face

"Well?"

"It's Josephine"

Jeff is about to end the call but Eddie snatches the phone as he spoke

"Hello, dear, I'm sorry but stop trying to call me, Goodbye, don't ever call me again" he slams the phone back on its place

His voice is still remains the softness but it's firm dictating the words very clearly

Jeff raises his eyebrows he thought he'll screech at the young woman over the telephone but he didn't, he just politely declined whatever the girl wants

"Dude, look at him! Not a fucking single regret on his eyes" Gareth gestures his hands as he points out to Eddie

"I'm gonna throw out any phone if someone else tries to call me again, there's no player in me anymore, a-and it was dead ages ago!"

"But the media still thinks that you are" Gareth snorts but Jeff pokes his stomach with his elbow

"That's all some crap that they made up"

"What makes you think she'll believe you?"

"What?"

"If you ever encountered her again"

"Then I'll say the truth and that's the only night that I ever slept with someone for so long and I wouldn't join anyone in a bed or in a freaking house that isn't her"

Jeff nods along with a enigmatic smile on his face as Eddie shakes his head at him but he smiles

"I also wonder Alexis been doing, I haven't talked to her for a month?"

"Didn't you say they lived in a province? Or like a small cities?"

"Yeah? They could be everywhere in the world?!? I think she forgots to mention the name of their town, but wait- I think I saw her I.D hanging around her neck once, I took a glimpse on it"

Gareth pulls his brows together as he tries to remember the memory

Jeff and Eddie looks at him waiting for the anticipated answer

"Indiana? I don't know what part in Indiana?"

Eddie claps both of his hands, "we should make a tour over there and convinced our manager to make it happen"

"Why didn't you say this before?"

"Hey, Don't take this on me! I only just remembered it! y'all should be thankful that I can recall it"

The phone rings once again and Eddie is ready to yeeted it out of the window

Both of the men panicked as they rushed to Eddie to stop him by breaking another phone

"No- Eddie!"

"Stop!"

The boys we're surprised that their idea is acceptable

They toured on every part in Indiana, even he needs to rest and he needs to sleep but every show they did before and after, he never stopped looking for you anywhere

He has turned the whole places of Indiana upside down just to look for you

He finds nothing

No, sign of you anywhere

But, he's not giving up hope, he would rather die just to be with someone who isn't you

He would never ever date or marry someone else that isn't you

Eddie is now starting think that you might be not a human being after all, maybe, you're just this angel that came down or even a magical entity that came into his life and that's why you disappeared all of the sudden

He thanks himself for being so attentive with your friend Alexis as she talks about you to him before, you sounded so wonderful with her stories but meeting you in person? It's more fantastic

He went every record store in the place, he grows sadder when some other places didn't have any, he knew that you liked his vinyl collection, so, he supposed that somehow you we're there looking at the records

But as always the result is none

He is rooting for the last place that they'll visit

Even you don't want him anymore, he'll still be happy just to see you again for one last time

A bunch of youngsters are awestruck of the café that you and Alexis usual spot to hang out

"Do the people of Hawkins just finally realized that the coffee is good there or what?" Alexis says as she clutches her purse tightly as you both approach a sea of people

"What are they screaming about?"

Some adults overheard you as they replied "A rock band just visited our town are having a show at Hawkins High"

Your eyes light up of what you just heard "A rock band? Really?"

"Oh my god, me and my bestfriend went there to highschool together!"

"We have to grab a coffee, first, Alexis"

"I already feel so energized! I wonder who it is"

You murmur "Excuse me! We're passing through"

You both finally made it inside as you take your orders

Unbeknownst to you, a certain man on the other side is also drinking coffee

That's where all the noise coming from

A familiar laughter shoots through his core, oh boy, he felt weak in the knees as he heard it again

Despite the crowd being so loud, he still heard it

He thought was only hallucinating but he heard it yet again

Eddie turns around almost drops his cup of coffee as he shakily breathes

There you are with Alexis as you're about to leave as you take your coffee and a small paper bag

But, as soon as he gets up, the people are starting to get frenzy as the bodyguards couldn't handle the situation

He is stuck with all of the fans surrounding him

God, he is like fighting with his life at this very moment

He tries to walk ahead but no to avail as many people are dying to get close to him

Jeff and Gareth are politely telling people to give them personal space and to back off

They both follow their friends gaze as Jeff put hands over his head as Gareth eyes softens that he saw his girl again

"Please, don't leave!" He yells as he puts his hands on either side of his mouth as he shouts for your name

Making the crowd went completely silent, the rest of the people follow where he's staring at as you can hear the distant whispering

You froze as you stop your tracks to that voice

The voice that you thought you couldn't hear again

"They're here, I-I can't believe it!" Alexis sobbed as he saw Gareth who is teary-eyed

Eddie finally made his way over to you slowly as the people watch him, you're just about to turn around to face him

The second you looked at his eyes, your body shook that you can swear that Eddie can see it that you're nervous and confused

There's a unreadable expression on his eyes that you've never seen before

Maybe, you avoid yourself for letting him in, for staying in denial

But, the truth is, you still love him

"Hey, sweetheart, it feels so nice to finally see you again" He breathy laughs as he pulls up wide smile as his eyes goes all over your face

Your hair is different, shaggy haircut but still long, you're wearing a baggy long sleeve shirt as he can see the peek of your sports bra strap and denim skirt, a pair of sneakers but as always, you looked prettier on every kind of style

He had some changes too, I mean- he is always stylish but you didn't expect him to be even more confident, he wore a freaking mesh tee that you can see through his tattoos, he is so insane for wearing it and leather pants with boots

All you wanted to do is to throw yourself at him but you have a respect for yourself

You don't want him to give the satisfaction that he wants, so, you remained the wall that you build up

"Hello" you nod as you plastered a fake smile

His expression changes as he saw that you weren't pleased to see him again

But, then again, of course, why would you be happy

"Fucking tabloids" he thinks to himself

The swarming fans went wild as they tried to get to Eddie

Eddie jerks his head at the backdoor as you turn your head at it even you think if this was a bad idea to let him get into you again

Still, you want him to talk

The bodyguards blocked the way, so, both of you can have a privacy, you heard the people talking about you

"Who is the mystery girl?" As they all say

Alexis gave you an encouraging smile and a hug before she left you with him

She glares at Eddie who swallowed nervously

He tails behind your back as you went outside, he closes the door blurring out all the noise inside

He doesn't even know where to start as you wrap your arms around yourself ducking your head down, his hands are itching to touch you

"Uh, how are you?"

"I've been good" you lie, you missed him

He nods but if this painfully short conversation ends up like shit, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself, so-

"After that night" he brings it up, you get tensed as you look at his hopeful eyes

"I-I think I'm in love you" he said without a single trace of doubt on his voice

Your eyes are glistening to his confession but you take a step back at him as you slowly shake your head

"Eddie, y-you have a quite a reputation" you laugh in disbelief as you tried not to breakdown and cry Infront of him

Does that mean he felt the same way? Like you did?

He knows what you mean by that and he is never proud of it

He doesn't have anyone who looked at him in the way that you looked at him

They only want him because of his rockstar personality but you?

You're aware that he's a big artist in the industry but you treated him like he always wanted to be treated

Is to feel seen and you just interacted him not only he felt the connection but also spiritually

Meeting you was the best refreshing moments of his life

"That's all the in past now, please, I need you and I want you, can you just listen what I have to say?!"

"Are you doing this because you're already tired all of the girls that you have? Am I going to be one of them? No-"

"I tried to forget about you!"

He curses himself when he saw the hurt expression on your face

"I tried, I really really tried, I woke up in that morning and I don't even know what you did to me! I can't seem to get you out of my head!" He takes a step closer to you

"After that night, I don't know what to do with myself like how am I going to see you again?!"

That's how much he misses you? the tears well up in your eyes

Your chest tightens as he moves closer to you as he held both of your forearms

"I woke up every single morning and you're the only one who runs through my mind" he says to you very softly, a voice sounds so small and vulnerable

He cradles your cheek as swipes the fallen tear that runs down

You still haven't responded to him as he kept on going

"I'll give whatever you want, just say something, whatever you need, I'm going to give it to you and I guarantee that you'll be happy and I won't ever make you cry and feel hurt, we'll be together" he pauses as whispers the last line

"I-If that's what you want, if you'll have me" he rests his forehead against yours

"W-What a-about the girls?"

"Those days are over, baby, I only want you nothing more"

You quietly sniffle to his another confession as you look straight into his eyes

"And even you don't want me, I'll fucking die alone"

"Eddie- I"

"Also that night, I've never been with anyone else for so long that it feels like an eternity but when I met you, god, you change me, you put me on like I've never felt before and I still need more, I need you and I want you in my life permanently!"

It's true, his eyes fixed on you as he gauges for your reaction and verdict

"Sweetheart, I-"

You slam your lips over to his as he hums while kissing you back

Gosh, you both missed this

He cuts it off as he furrow his brows at you, looking at you in confusion

"Is that a yes?"

You let the happy tears fall as you hug him "Yes, Eddie, I love you"

You embraced him as you bury your face on his neck as you stand on your tippy toes

He sighs of relief as he carries you and circles you around as he pulls you back to kiss you once again

"I love you too so much" he says as you finally saw the glint of adoration on his eyes that you're terrified to see before

This time, he won't be worry not seeing you again

Because you'll stay forever with him on his side

Like you always wanted in the first place <3