#and i don’t play when it comes to hookhausen

[hooksredrum]

you see, i don’t necessarily HATE junglehook. i just refuse to accept that we will never get a hookhausen reunion, like no pls tk pair my baby girls back together

[queencolondarkwing]

A Wholesome Wrestling Team for Tumblr-ites

Most people I know on tumblr don’t like wrestling.  I get it.  I didn’t at first, but have become a casual fan over time.  It is sort of like violent Cirque Du Soliel to me.  I love stage shows/acting.  I love looking at buff ladies.  I like people acting and dressing extra af.

AEW is the more ethical company (WWE has so many issues I could get into, but I won’t). There is a team for this company that I think even non-fans would appreciate.  Wholesome, silly, and talented.  Trust me - it has tumblr fandom energy. Let me introduce you to...

The Best Friends

Who is this group of besties?  Well, it started with two wrestlers.  Chuck Taylor and Trent Beretta.  Both of them are wrestlers who tend to compete as a tag team.  Their gimmick?  Being best friends. One of their main ongoing things is to randomly hug each other during the match (well...when not interrupted by other wrestlers).  Trent’s mom also plays a part in the gimmick.  It’s very cute.

Chuck Taylor pulled in the third member, Orange Cassidy (his real life best friend and roommate).  Orange Cassidy has become incredibly famous. The whole persona he has is of someone who doesn’t care.  His two bubbly besties, Chuck and Trent, will hug this cool Fonz-esque guy.  Three besties. 

Orange Cassidy is also incredibly talented.  Scary talented.  Say what you will about wrestling.  Is it scripted? Yes.  Does it still take intense athletic ability? If you do it right.  Orange Cassidy does it right.  Just watch this dude.  His abs must hurt like Hell (also ignore that the Best Friends dressed like Rick and Morty)

Now...I said that I like Wrestling has buff ladies.  While not the buffest woman in wrestling... Kris Statlander is still pretty great. Her gimmick before her ACL injury was to be “The Galaxy’s Greatest Alien” given that she is a science nerd. They dropped the gimmick for a more serious character, but she still plans to incorporate her own nerdiness here and there...Hopefully she can heal and eventually come back soon.

My current favorite member is Danhausen.  He could go the the typical creepy goth dude route...but he didn’t. He describes his character as “Conan O’Brian possessed by a demon”.  Dude is weird.  Like really weird.  And I love him. Even a wrestling reviewer, Jim Cornette, who hates gimmick wrestling admitted to liking Danhausen initially.  He is “Very Nice, Very Evil”.  He wrestles, puts curses on people, and does interviews with other wrestlers. He was in a tag team once with wrestler named, Hook, which people called Hookhausen...which is just...very tumblr shipping worthy.

There is also the past member Wheeler Yuta, who I don’t know as much about admittedly.  But from what I’ve seen - He is lovely.

Where is my roadtrip movie about all these best buds?  Seriously?  I love them.

[blacktofade]

Feb 17 — Injury

Hookhausen

CW: the beginnings of evilhausen

Hook doesn’t plan on stopping. He has his backpack and coat on, hood pulled up, ready to leave the arena and head back to his hotel room.

But Danhausen’s sitting in his path.

He hasn’t been spotted yet as Danhausen has his head in his hands. Hook could probably sneak out the back way. But Danhausen’s shoulders twitch and his hands shift, fingers clawing at his own head as though in pain.

Hook hesitates and that’s his first mistake. His second mistake is taking a step, and then another, toward Danhausen.

“You good?” he grunts and Danhausen’s head snaps up, gaze zeroing in on Hook.

There must be a cut somewhere on his head because there’s blood across his forehead, dripping down and blending with the red paint around his eyes.

Danhausen smiles at him, face contorting into an expression Hook isn’t used to seeing. Hook doesn’t spook easily, but there’s something unnerving about it that puts him on high alert.

“You seen medical?” Hook asks, ignoring the feeling, but Danhausen tilts his head, smile growing wider.

“It’s Danhausen’s good friend, Hook,” Danhausen says, and for some reason it doesn’t sound like he’s talking in the third person, the way he usually does. For some reason it sounds like Danhausen’s talking about another Danhausen.

Hook swallows and tries to play it cool.

“The one and only,” he agrees before tipping his head toward Danhausen’s injury. “You know you’re bleeding, right?”

Danhausen moves one hand to smear it through the worst of the blood, pulling it away to stare at his stained fingers.

“Yes,” he says, “it hurts.”

“You gonna do something about it?” Hook asks, and Danhausen’s still smiling when he shakes his head.

“No.”

Hook fidgets with the strap of his backpack and wonders if he should make up an excuse and leave because Danhausen’s clearly not in the mood to talk.

“Okay, I — ” he starts, but gets cut off when Danhausen’s hand snaps out and grabs his wrist.

His hand is fever-hot and slightly clammy and Hook can’t tell if it’s from sweat or blood.

“Hook wants to leave,” Danhausen says, though it might be a question.

“I was gonna go back to my hotel room,” Hook corrects, “I’m tired.”

Danhausen hums quietly, like maybe he doesn’t believe him. And he’d be right. Hook isn’t tired, he just doesn’t want to be there.

Danhausen squeezes his wrist, making the bones ache and reminding him that Danhausen isn’t always as helpless as he seems.

“Danhausen will go with you,” he says, so matter of factly that Hook scoffs.

“No, thanks,” he replies, and Danhausen squeezes his wrist again.

“It wasn’t a question,” Danhausen tells him. “Danhausen will come with you and you will fix his head.”

Hook blows out a breath and glances toward the exit, the door so close and yet so far.

“I don’t know first aid. Go see a professional.”

Danhausen stands up, off the storage crate he’d been sitting on, and the back of Hook’s neck prickles uncomfortably. He could have Danhausen on the floor in an instant, could Redrum him unconscious before he even laid a hand on Hook. But there’s something tickling at the back of his mind that says if he did, it would end badly — but not for Danhausen.

There’s something so wrong about the Danhausen staring across at him, almost eye-to-eye.

“Hook will fix Danhausen,” Danhausen insists, leaving no room for argument, so close that his breath blows across Hook’s chin. “Hook is the only one.”

“I’m not the only one who can help you,” Hook tells him and Danhausen’s expression darkens.

“That is not what Danhausen said. Hook is the only one Danhausen will let fix him.”

It’s infinitely worse. But Hook shrugs like it’s not his problem.

“Whatever,” he agrees, but Danhausen’s grip on him turns so tight that Hook finally tries to shake him off, but Danhausen doesn’t let go.

“Hook will say yes,” Danhausen tells him and Hook doesn’t appreciate the way it makes something tug low in his stomach.

Out of sheer stubbornness, Hook doesn’t reply for a long moment, letting Danhausen’s grip ache along his arm, grounding him.

But then he relents.

“Yes,” he says, and Danhausen’s unnerving smile returns.

“Danhausen will make it worth Hook’s time,” Danhausen promises and Hook very much doubts it.

He’s going to end up with more regrets than he already has. But he tilts his head in the direction of the door, and Danhausen finally lets go of his wrist.

“Hook will lead the way,” Danhausen tells him and Hook knows he should have just left through the back entrance.

This is what happens when he lets his guard down for even a second.

Danhausen watches him and Hook turns away, doing exactly as he’s been told.

[hooksredrum]

i just wanna say as one of the cm punk girlies who went through every stage of grief during his absence before finally having our dreams slowly come true before our eyes. im so honored to be passing that baton to the hookhausen girlies now. all this time danhausen literally never stopped posting on socials about hook & hinting (as well as saying outright several times) that hookhausen WILL be back as a storyline... you KNOW when hes cleared and back from his injury again that collision is where he'll be making his return, considering he's legit besties with brody and punk, and with orange over there thats probably where all the best friends stuff will happen... you know his return is gonna be fucking huge, the pop will be insane... and now just within the past few days we have hookhausen tag team box set figures that instantly sold out of PREORDERS, plus the revelation that theres bespoke hookhausen dlc for the AEW video game coming out later this month. these are only a few of the dots in play and i have a good feeling about the way theyre gonna connect. keep the faith hookhausen warriors i believe your time is coming

cm punk girlie in my inbox, i love it. BUT THIS IS ALSO WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYINGGG !! when danhausen is cleared, u better believe hookhausen will be on the rise idc !! and OMG YES. i saw that their duo action figures quite literally sold out within a day or two of them being up for preorder. so yes, i don’t care if i sound delusional on this blog, hookhausen will be making their comeback!!