#and i do not have the money for hrt or laser hair removal

[goblinoid-wretch]

holding immense hatred in my heart for/ casting a thousand curses at the foul creature what thought it funny to give my dad's family and me specifically course facial hair that will not shave off completely no matter how hard i try

[charyou-tree]

Desperately trying to get my health insurance to pay for the laser hair removal they explicitly say they cover as gender affirming care.

Go to HRT consultation, ask the doctor about a referral to a place that does laser, don't get a formal referral, just a piece of paper with a list of clinics and contact info.

Contact the closest clinic, ask about billing insurance. They say they can't do that, I have to call my health insurance company to find out who's in network.

Call the health insurance company, ask for a list of providers for laser hair removal, they put me on hold, transfer me to some other department. The other department's automated system helpfully announces that they're open 8am-5pm Monday-Friday. Once it tries to connect me to a person, it goes straight to voicemail. its 12:30pm on a Wednesday.

Call the health insurance company back, talk to a different representative, demand answers, turns out they don't have any better search tools than on their public facing website. You can't actually search for services, just specialties. The person on the phone advises me to just look up a list of random dermatologists and keep calling them to ask what they actually do until I find one that does laser. Most dermatologists don't do hair removal.

Try to message original doctor who did the HRT consult on mychart, asking for a referral again. Still waiting to hear back.

You should not be allowed to run a business with so much of a perverse incentive as health insurance. The more people they help the less money they make. Ticks, leeches and parasites, feeding off disease and death.

[sciencetynan]

Started laser hair removal today!

Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but a few areas on my face I definitely felt.

I'm going to mainly focus on my face, arms and legs for now and might do other areas if/when I have more money.

Unfortunately due to me being on HRT so long, its lightened some of my facial hair, and for those I'll likely have to get electrolysis later (mainly on my chin and cheeks).

But I'm happy I've taken one of the biggest step forwards in my transition. :)

[cathkaesque]

Year in review, cathkaesque wrapped

Completed Very Big Very Cool Farmworker Report, which I'm still super pleased about. Everything I proposed was completed.

Went to Morocco for Very Big Very Cool international gathering

Basically completed transition - got all my documents in order, 2 years HRT, laser hair removal in process. I can take or leave srs so I'm basically exactly where I want to be now

Got asthma and celiac diagnoses - my lungs are better, I can finally put on weight, but my reflux issues are unfortunately uncurable (hiatial hernia)

Relatedly, spent most of February scrubbing black mould off my walls

Looking back on it, from mid-Feb/March I had an extremely bad mental breakdown that took up a good chunk of the year to recover from. Combination of all my work being due and none of it being done around March, huge trans panic in the press, trying to get all my documentation in order because the panic in the press scared the hell out of me, serious relationship issues...it was very bad. I had to move back in with my parents for much of the year while I sorted my shit out

Broke up with my bf but we got back together - the time apart sucked so bad and made us both extremely insane and unwell but it forced us to rectify serious ongoing issues in our relationship rather than letting them fester. I feel we've emerged from it stronger and things are going better than they ever have before so that is pretty wonderful. I just wish I could've resolved these things in a less dramatic, less damaging way.

Went on a lovely holiday in South Wales, and also a little weekend break in Kent

Drove 1250 miles in about 2 weeks

Went to my first festival (do not want to do that again, I hate the West)

Relatedly, wrote off my car because I was very tired from driving that much. I don't miss the responsibility of driving or owning a car at all, and I'm saving tonnes of money, but I really miss the ability to go on little trips to obscure places

Went to London a million times for work meetings

Sadly a lot of the international union work I've been involved with over the last few years has collapsed due to infighting in the international organisation. You have a situation where both the workers' union in Spain and one of the employer unions are affiliated to the same international organisation. The employer union is a lot bigger and unsurprisingly this is too unstable a mix to function and they reacted in a way that broke the rural workers' work I have been involved in. I am very pissed off as the result was issues the workers union really needed to be addressed never got looked at and someone who was very, very dedicated to the cause got forced out of their position because of it. Disgusted. I invested so much of myself into that work so I am trying to decouple my political activism from my work life to prevent this from happening again.

At the same time I had similar issues within my own workplace, especially after larger farmers' organisations reacted strongly against my report. I ended up having a big meeting with lots of them where I performed okay despite having a panic attack prior to it. So hopefully that will have been dealt with now.

Managed to have a healthier relationship to weed which is good

I got super into Flames of War and I'm really enjoying that, I love the models and painting my little guys has been so much fun.

But yeah. All in all a super, super hard year, especially the first 8 months of it, but this was due to overdue problems that needed to get solved, and they got solved. I hope things will be easier next year.

[nerdartandgames]

Okay, this is gonna be long and I apologize but here goes:

So last night, I had a dream that I was a completely different person. Living in a different home, had a younger sister, and a different dad. But what really stuck out was that, simply put, I was a girl. And truth be told, I didn’t hate it. In fact I kinda liked it. This is not the first time I’ve had a dream like this and I imagine it won’t be the last.

Here’s the thing. I don’t completely hate being born male, but I’ve noticed ever since I came out as genderfluid, there was something about drawn as female even addressed as such that appealed to me. Maybe it’s cause recently I’ve noticed I’m mostly drawn to femininity?

My real conflict is how I don’t even know what to do if I even were to come out as trans. Especially to someone like my dad since I do remember him once making a very insensitive remark when LGBT was brought up on TV during Pride Month.

But that’s not even the biggest problem, it’s transitioning, but not because I wouldn’t be able to do it fully. See, if it were a matter of changing my personal email (cause it does use my real full name) it wouldn’t be too bad, even though it would be time-consuming. But in terms of HRT, laser hair removal, bottom surgery, and even changing my legal name? Those are all things that would cost not just time, but also money that I don’t even know I have.

So yeah, in terms of my gender, just seems like I’m the same way I feel my life in general is going: Stuck. Thankfully I’m meeting with my therapist this week so I’ll see what he says. For now, feel free to address at whatever pronouns you want to and draw me however you want. I might take a few days off of social media to collect my thoughts.

[sofiadragon]

Not all anti-aging nonsense is a benign money sink that makes you look pretty. The psychological effect of the idealized photoshopped human body is an issue, but consider the real fanatics who not only destroy their bodies but can hurt other people who are nearby:

I was unknowingly exposed to my boss's anti-aging potions for seven years. I am female; the cream contained insane amounts of testosterone. I figured the grease on the doorknobs, keyboards, and so on was just hand cream. I'd worked for people who go through lotion like water before, I've had a career in high-end retail management or as a personal assistant for most of my adult life. Lots of rich people spend lots of money on lotions and potions, I just used hand sanitizer to dry up the goop. If I washed my hands every time I touched something greasy I'd be in the bathroom all day and I had work to do. There were also essential oil nebulizers around which I thought were just to smell good and also blamed for the general tackiness (tactile, rather than visual.)

Testosterone is easily absorbed through the skin. I know for a fact that this ingredient was a significant issue, the rest are more nebulous (pardon the pun) primarily because I have no clue what most of them were. For all intents and purposes, this quack cream dreamed up by a doctor who lost his license and had to flee the country to avoid lawsuits, was giving me a low dose hrt. Yes, I went to my OBGYN because something was wrong. No, I was not wealthy enough in the USA to have insurance that covered feminine Healthcare in the days before the ACA where (like eyes and teeth) many insurance companies didn't cover problems with those body parts (only a no-complications birth was covered by many plans prior to "obamacare" being passed. Hard to imagine American healthcare being worse than it is now, but Pepridge Farm remembers.)

Yes, my body changed significantly over those 7 years and I didn't have a clue why. I could grow a beard thicker than many 20 year old men before I scratched up enough money to start fixing it. No, the doctor who made this cream did not get in trouble after this happened, this miracle serum was being sold as an anti-aging import from this essential oil quack more than a decade after his cancer clinic got shut down for killing people with vitamin overdoses. Of course, that's just a conspiracy to stop us from knowing about this amazing regimen of creams and suppliments to let people stay young forever. Those in the know can order his products, which come plastered with "this is not a medication" warnings. He's still today making money on his expensive stimulant creams and essential oils that give a real good buzz, equivalent to drinking some niacin pre-workout, by hitting you with enough natural insecticide to treat an acer of organic crops fortified with "a proprietary niacin and essential element blend."

I found out after my boss was hospitalized with cancer. He wanted this high powered anti-aging treatment because we all worked in the fashion industry and he was getting older (and there was some scientology double think about cleansing in there too.) His wife regularly got laser hair removal and other expensive spa treatments, and insisted that after 25 women started falling apart and needed this level of upkeep. It was a small company where people wore a lot of hats, and I was the only bookkeeper-type manager that spent several hours in close contact with his goopy office space dealing with suppliers and tracking special order formalwear.

His wife still uses this brand of products.

We crossed paths a few months ago, it's a small world after all, and she asked if I wanted the contact info so I could get some for myself. You know, because working class people just keep getting raises well above inflation (despite that not being true while I worked for her husband) unless they are lazy and someone as good a worker as I was must be making seven figures by now. $200 an ounce, and everything in the office was greasy... just how much money was absorbed by the arms of that cheap warehouse office desk chair?

And yes, my beloved trans neighbors and fellow cis hormone takers, you are supposed to apply those sorts of creams under your arms or some other place it can sit and slowly absorb and not on your hands like a grade A nincompoop who wants everything and everyone they interact with to have some of their medicinal cream.

scrunching my face real hard rn

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

ive been spending way too much time on terf blogs the past few days and this thing i saw has been living in my head rent free like

(Image description: @/fakeboitherottengirl writes, "You learn to chase gender like you learn to chase any other drug. You chase gender euphoria like an anorexic chasing her skeleton. The next piece of clothing, the next haircut, the next injection, the next operation, THATS the thing you need to be happy. After this next binder or HRT or boob job or dress or tube of makeup your body will finally feel "right". And by the time you've eliminated all the things that could be "wrong", when no hair is left out of place and and you "pass" you realize you are still yourself with all the same pain you've been running from getting closer every day. And suddenly there's nowhere left to run. Your hair can't get any shorter. Your chin can't get any smoother. No shade of lipstick fills the void it once promised to. Capitalism lied to you and is actively profiting off of your gender dysphoria/euphoria. Dysphoric people deserve better than the capitalist "solution" of transition." End image description.)

There's so much wrong with this where do I start. (Soooo tempted to just throw out the whole suitcase but I think there's maybe half a thought in there worth keeping. So here goes)

All of the procedures you've listed above are things cis people do as well. Buy makeup and have boob jobs and get laser hair removal, buy gender-affirming (or gender nonconformity-affirming) clothing and jewellery. Yet somehow it's only bad when trans people do it? Capitalism leaves hollow voids of suffering in all of us. How we fill it is each of our own choice, and all of the things mentioned above are morally neutral. Including drug addiction and even eating disorders, because we believe in a thing called bodily autonomy. heard of it?

The capitalist solution of transitioning: Okay yes lots of trans people spend money on transitioning. A lot of cis people also spend money on gender-affirming clothes, accessories and surgeries. Capitalism has a solution for everything. It's true. BUT: not everyone's transition involves a lot of money, and most trans people are poor af. We cut our own (or each others) hair, get clothes from free clothes swaps and use other forms of mutual aid. Changing your name and pronouns is free! And yes we have to exist under capitalism, great observation sherlock. anything else?

And what, exactly, is a better solution for dysphoric people? Since you acknowledge they exist. Is it to live with their pain forever? I mean, you radfemmy types take enormous pride in suffering and make suffering the very core of your ideology so I can't say I'm surprised. Tell Me, has your suffering enlightened you? Do you know things no one else does? Did you find the light. And why am I reminded of tradcath imagery where you have to suffer to make up for being born, until you die... is this the kind of imagery you strive to invoke? Is your suffering the yoke you toil under forever, to make up for the wrongness in your soul and the void in your heart. Do we all need to find Jesus? Tell Me? (or please maybe just help us dismantle capitalism. yes it wants to sell you solutions to problems that didn't exist until capitalism told you you had them!! yes it hurts everyone!! we agree on this!!)

tldr suffering is great and if you embrace it you won't have to participate in capitalism anymore. but it's fine to participate in capitalism actually, as long as you're being nice and cis about it i guess. womanhood is only suffering and manhood is only violence and there is no room for genuine joy in the human experience. this is what you're telling me yes? okay. cool. okay

anyway I've found so much love and peace from being trans, not really from changing my body (which I BARELY have and still don't really know if I will) but from being part of loving, accepting, truly radical communities. Going from being othered to being part of the othereds. Community is the true value of the queers. Probably you radfems would agree about your own!! You love your communities and want to keep them safe!! See, us too. And we don't have to fight each other to keep ourselves safe. In fact fighting makes all of us less safe! None of us want that.

Anyway it's so difficult to have nuanced (or any) conversations about these things and i appreciate you taking the time to read this. and as much as I understand that my "why can't we all get along uwu 🥺" thing is naive and idealistic, I would much prefer to be naive, idealistic and hopeful, than full of distress and fear and despair at the state of the world - and the state of feminist, body neutral and autonomy affirming activism. (A despair we share, I assure you! Being hopeful anyway is an active choice.)

Hope is hard. It is! I have a lot of practice cultivating mine and it still doesn't come easy. The first step is believing you can have hope, and that things can get better. The next step is to find out what you, personally, can do to actively make things better for people around you. Start hyper-local, log off from the internet for a lil while, consult older activists around you. Millions of people doing tiny things will add up to bigger changes, and you have to believe change is possible. You have to. Otherwise you will get too content in your own misery and stop growing as a person and stop actually making the world better.

"You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time." ― Angela Davis

Anyway, one thing that doesn't help is trying to take away people's bodily autonomy. Whether that's restricting access to abortion, or access to transition, or access to cosmetic surgery, or ability to do sex work, or kink. Just cus you personally think any/all of these are oppressive and evil, doesn't mean you get to make choices for other people on how to live their lives.

Bodily autonomy.

If you're against abortions, don't get one.

If you're against transition, don't get one.

If you're against kink, don't do it.

Some people don't get a choice, such as victims of sex trafficking or Hershel Walker's mistresses when he arranges their abortions. But that doesn't mean you should take the choice away from everyone.

[hms-no-fun]

the thing about passing is that for the vast majority of trans women, it’s not something that just *happens.* a cis woman with short hair, no makeup, wearing t shirt and jeans, putting no effort into appearing conventionally “feminine” still gets gendered correctly most of the time. which is as much of a nightmare for trans men as the opposite is for trans women. for a trans woman to pass effortlessly, she almost certainly has to have transitioned early or have one of those perfectly non-clockable body types, which is genetic lottery and super rare. for most trans women, passing at the high end requires expensive surgeries and procedures like laser hair removal/electrolysis, facial reconstructive surgery, hair transplants, and at the low end requires hours of makeup, voice training, posture discipline, outfit coordinating, etc etc etc, and not a lick of it will matter if you’re even in the neighborhood of six feet tall, because most people don’t choose how they gender people they just do it automatically based on silhouette. so if your goal is to pass, you have to build your entire appearance and aura around that abstract ill-defined social instinct.

that’s a lot of money and time for a population that’s chronically impoverished! for someone like me, a 34 year old trans woman who didn’t realize i was trans until 27 and started hrt at 28, the baseline expectation for getting gendered correctly in public just feels impossible. my hair is thinning, i still haven’t been able to afford LHR on my face let alone better clothes or shoes or jewelry or makeup etc etc etc.

so when i see a fictional trans woman who passes perfectly, never gets misgendered, whose gender isn’t a point of contention or conflict, that isn’t good representation to me. that isn’t even representation, as far as i’m concerned that’s just a cis woman that you’re calling trans for brownie points! when the only trans people i see in media are drag queens and cis-passing rich celebrities, i see the binary society imposes on my femininity. if i’m not one, i must be the other. no hate to anyone in either group but that’s just not me! i don’t WANT the surgeries, i don’t WANT to get good at makeup, and i feel like the right of a woman to be respected regardless of how she presents is a cornerstone of real feminism!!

you want to know what’d make me feel less like shit about myself, about my place in the world and society? if there were more clocky trans women in media. not only would i ACTUALLY feel represented, that would also help to normalize the existence of clocky trans women to cis people who only ever see the drag queen / celebrity side of transness. if there were more clocky trans women in media getting aggressively gendered correctly, their pronouns defended and enforced by other characters in the show, that would ACTIVELY make my life better because it would make normies aware that this tension even exists. because i know it’s not intentional nine times out of ten! if we all agree that media plays a huge role in shaping how society sees minority groups, then we should be advocating not for media which only shows the glossy happy perfectly prettily acceptable side, but media which accurately reflects the lived experiences of real trans people in the real world.

also clocky trans women are hot and i like looking at them

to cis artists, yr allowed to draw trans characters to be clockable, in fact i encourage it. it's not politically incorrect or offensive to depict trans people as being obviously trans, especially if you're drawing cartoons. its not a stereotype a lot of us just look like that

[vodcar]

I'm a prehrt trans girl. I have mixed feelings about my facial hair. I shave but its so thick that i'll usually end up cutting my face. I've been told that light scruff softens my facial features and makes me look softer. So sometimes I consider growing it out again but then I worry that people will just say im actually non binary or that I'm not even actually trans. I also worry that it makes my lesbian partner seem straight when we're in public? (though maybe thats good?) THOUGHTS?! halp!!

Hey there friend !!!I’m in a very similar situation in many respects; pre-hrt, lesbian, all that jazz. But I am also white with fairly pale skin and I have thick dark facial hair, so the contrast is pretty strong. Most of my advice will apply directly to these two particular shades of skin and hair, but hopefully there’ll be something useful for you here too!My advice will also depend a lot on your routine and your needs with tackling your dysphoria if you have any about your facial hair, or your concerns with how others will see you. I shave pretty much every day. At the weekend I like to schedule in a day where I don’t go out so I can give my skin a break and not shave. If you’re also considering shaving every day, giving your skin a break is a really good idea! I would also say giving yourself a few days or a day where you can play around with growing out your facial hair in the comfort of your own home might be a good idea, or if you do go out, take a razor with you so you can shave on the go if you need to!Always remember that no matter the length of your facial hair, you’re still a woman, and still a big gay one at that! (My wife says when I haven’t shaved for a little while and I have a little fluff its like a baby hedgehog which is very adorable.) I’ve thought about growing mine out a lil in the past, cute girls with facial hair are certainly out there, I’ve got a good few tumblr mutuals who rock it. As you grow out your hair, play around with snazzing it up maybe? see what makeup looks would pair well with it (bold lipstick and eyeliner is always a good look), or what cute hairstyles or outfits would compliment it. If you’re worried about not being read as a woman, buying a cute pronoun badge or a fun piece of clothing with WOMAN written on it could be fun. (I have an old baseball cap from back in the day with WOMAN on it. Very affirming and cute.)If you’re going down the shaving route:So for starters, I would recommend investing in a good quality razor. Recently I’ve found myself really enjoying a safety razor like this. Although it is a big upfront cost at around £25, the cost of 100 replacement razors at around £7.00 will save you lots of money, and it will mean you can always shave with a sharp razor which should stop a lot of rough and bad shaves.

I always first wash my skin with water, and then use a very gentle exfoliating face scrub. This helps reduce dead skin tags from building up after shaving and can prevent your face from getting cut. I got a very cheap one from primark for about £1 and it is lasting me ages.I wash off the scrub and then add plenty of cheap hair conditioner. It smells lovely and gives a really slick finish which is kind to the skin and works well with blades. Alberto Balsam is the best imo!

In terms of technique, my own method is to shave with the grain at first, and then again against the grain afterwards. This means, for example, on my chin going with the grain I shave from my lip downwards, and against the grain from my chin up to my lips. This gives me the closest shave and lets me get very smooth. This technique took me a while to build up to; at first my hairs just wouldn’t let me shave against the grain. Take it slow and easy and eventually you’ll be able to.Shaving in front of a mirror always gets me the best shave, but most days I shave in the shower. This stops me having to pour over my face for too long which is often very distressing, and it keeps my skin in contact with hot water. Always have hot water running to keep your blade wet and hot.After I’m done I make sure to rinse my face with hot water directly, and then to gently dry it by patting it with a towel. I wait about one to three minutes and then apply a gentle moisturiser. At the moment I’m using E45 Lotion, but I have used Nivea Soft in the past. Find a cream that works for you and does not sting when you put it on and then buy lots of it, you’ll be using it plenty. After I’m moisturised I tend to wait about five to ten minutes before putting on any makeup. (If you want me to go into my makeup let me know, but I will say always make sure to take it off at the end of the day with a gentle makeup remover and then moisturise before bed.)HRT will help things, giving you softer hair and a slower rate of growth whilst also stopping any new non-vellus hair from growing in. It won’t reverse or get rid of any of the thick facial hair you’ve already got though. This is why it works best with laser hair removal or electrolysis.

This is another option for you whilst you wait for HRT. You can opt to pay for your own laser hair removal/electrolysis, but it will be generally less effective without HRT, but you will see some results after a full course of about eight weeks. It should cut down on your need to shave most days, and it should thin out your hair too, depending on how well you respond to that certain treatment. You can buy your own machines, but the only ones worth buying are very very expensive, so sessions at an actual clinic are probably the best.Sending you love!!!! hope this helps!!!!

[orchyd-electronica]

Progress is rarely a straight line.

I’ve had my fair share of speed bumps this year: being homeless for 3 months, legal/financial trouble after moving and losing my savings, then working a job for too little pay to be able to afford to eat enough to not be hungry to name the big few. However! I have managed to continue my HRT and to pay for the visits and medications associated with that. I have managed to even pay for my laser hair removal which is coming along swimmingly. I recently got promoted and am now getting a big bump in pay and hours. I have a trip coming up at the end of the month to see my best friend and to go to a concert of one of my favorite bands whom I haven’t seen live since 2008. My payment plan for my laser, which is frightfully expensive, is going to be finished soon leaving me with a lot more money every month. Honestly I think I have gotten through this year surprisingly well? As bad as it was at times, I can’t fault myself for being as upset as I was.  It was definitely a challenge and before this part of my life my mental illnesses completely consumed me so like, kudos for not getting stuck back in a rut and for continuing to struggle.

This may be me tooting my own horn but like someone’s gotta do it, and frankly no one else knows me like me so I don’t hold the expectation for anyone else to appreciate my progress this year as much as I do.

Shout out to my fellow queers who are out there struggling! You are strong! You are wonderful! You can get through this! It will be worth it!!!!!!

[sciencetynan]

If I made a crowdfunding page for my gender transition (Trans femme) expenses would anyone support that?

I don't like asking for money but the combination of seeing a fertility clinic and freezing samples before I take HRT and future laser hair removal and voice training has the potential to drain most of my funds within a month or two. The fertility clinic alone will drain almost half of my bank account, and laser can be hundreds of dollars minimum per month, per body area. Voice training can be expensive too.

I'd either have to significantly slow down my transition, or find more money somehow, and I just can't think of anywhere I can get extra money.

I do have a part time job and some self employment, but due to the rural area I live in, the amount of hours I can work weekly is at most 10-15 hours a week (at minimum wage), so these costs will be far more than I'll lose monthly.

I don't want to sound greedy, but I'd rather just do as much as I can for my transition, as I'm now 35 and not getting any younger. I've waited decades to come out, and would hate to put a pause on some aspects of my transition because I can't afford it.

[kalamity-jayne]

Heavens to betsy, I can not believe I actually have to explain this to you as you are old enough to know that one need not resort to name calling in order to insult someone. You chose to level what I consider in this day and age to be a very serious accusation, that I was spreading "dangerous misinformation." If you had just said, "that isn't true," I would've left this alone regardless of it's veracity and we wouldn't be having this incredibly tedious conversation. There was absolutely nothing dangerous about what I said. People should go into transition with realistic expectations and the folks who go into it having beards need to be prepared to save up the money for the likelihood they will need LHR and/or electrolysis.

"Most of my friends have the same experience with facial hair." So, your statements are based purely on anecdotal evidence then? My position is based on the years of research I did in deciding to transition and said research led me to starting the hair removal process before getting on HRT, all of the Tgirls in my life (who are spread across a wide age range btw) who started with HRT first ended up having to do laser, and I spoke to 2 different healthcare professionals about it as well.

In every single forum I have ever been to on the subject the overwhelming consensus was, "don't get your hopes up, you will likely need to do laser," and indeed last night when I double checked and went to 4 different up to date forums on different platforms, because again I took your accusation seriously, the conventional wisdom remains the same as it has for decades. I will bet if I go to my Trans girl discord channel right now that has about 20-25 ladies most of whom are age 26-30 and 2-3 yrs on HRT, every single one will confirm the conventional wisdom remains unchanged.

"Thankfully the average age of transition (27 yo as of 2023) is getting lower, and HRT is being researched and developed, which leads to better outcomes." Now, while the middle part there regarding research and development leading to better outcomes is absolutely true, I don't think the science has changed so drastically that a majority of women are able to melt their beards away with HRT alone. However, the rest of that statement is much more concerning as it appears to suggest that starting HRT younger yields better results. Despite there perhaps being a tiny kernel of truth there, that really is a dangerous thing for a 23 yr old to say. There are still too many trans folks out there, some of whom are not even that old, who end up never transitioning because they think it's too late for them.

The funniest "tme understanding of gender" moment in this website was when some people said laser hair removal furthers the idea of the hairless woman (it does, kinda) and transfems don't have to do it to pass because HRT already makes you have average cis woman hair

HRT in fact does not do that, it makes the hair a bit thinner and a lot slower growing but it still makes a very noticeable beard

[a-trans-jedi]

Today has been amazing so far! Met my new doctor who is absolutely awesomely far. She listened to my concerns and needs both about my regular and neurological health and about my health going forward on hrt and transition as a whole. I’m getting refered for another round of physical therapy so I can have a set schedule and routines a For trying to get my lower arm and leg back. I also got referred to meet with a new local neurosurgery team to track my brain health and make sure we prevent the growth of another AVM. My estrogen dosage got upped from 4mg’s to 6mg’s which is the average dosage. And finally she put in referrals for laser hair removal, and bottom surgery. Once the referral for bottom surgery is accepted I’ll have a 1 1/2 - 2 year waitlist wait which is pretty damn perfect for me to spend the time getting honed in at work, saving some money and doing more research and preparing myself. Oh and I got my nails redone. Things are getting so good now that I’ve taken control over my life. I’m so excited to keep racking up accomplishments on my own. My confidence and happiness has skyrocketed since the beginning. #transgirl #transgender #mtftrans #newaccomplishments #movingupintheworld #transisbeautiful #girlslikeus #thisiswhattranslookslike

[f0reverchanging]

It's been a while.

To be honest, I kind of forgot I even had this blog for a minute, and then once I remembered, I couldn't stop thinking about writing, but couldn't figure out how to put my thoughts into words.

I still don't really have the words to properly convey exactly how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, or how to express anything else for that matter. It isn't necessarily that I'm even feeling bad, either! I'm honestly pretty content with life as it currently stands and, aside from spending too much money on things I can't need/can't afford, I have nothing to complain about!

I mean, there are still the occasional doubts and the usual anxieties that come with, you know, transitioning, and those do kinda make me sad sometimes.. But not that sad. I think, maybe, I'm just in a normal slump, which I generally do find myself in once every few months, where things just aren't interesting and I grasp at literally everything I can to try to keep my mind from being blank and grey.

As far as transitioning goes, I had my first laser hair removal session on my chest done as a test, and since the test went well (no terrible redness/scabbing/blisters/etc), I'll be buying a beard package at the same facility soon, I think. I, also, had some blood work done and my first follow-up appointment for my HRT and... Well, my T is down from 800 to 500, but my E is only up to 35ish, from 20. Soooo, not really what we were hoping for, but understandable with such a low dose of Spiro (50mg/twice a day) and Estradiol (1mg/twice a day) and after not much time.

With that said, we doubled both dosages to 100mg/twice daily for Spiro and 2mg/twice daily for Estradiol and... I definitely drink a fuckload more water, let me tell ya. The 'fuzziness' I experienced during the first 2-3 days of HRT is also back, sort of? It's not as bad, while also being worse in some ways. It definitely feels more like derealization and less like "lol i'm kinda high," so that's great.

Changes? Acne and more grey hair. That's about it. My libido hasn't changed too much, though I don't think I've had morning wood in a few days and I guess I'm not as much of a horndog as I was a few weeks ago? Things still work with is great (no sarcasm), but sometimes it's more frustrating to try than it is to just forget the horniness exists.

Oh well, I can't really write anything else without potentially risking my anonymity, so I'll write to you some other time.

-J

[erynspencer2187]

A full time pre-HRT Transgirl's survival guide - BODY/FACIAL HAIR!!

Konbanwa you beautiful people!!🐯

I’ve developed a trans girl’s survival guide designed to maximize personal comfort, minimize time consuming dysphoria-fighting activity and do it all in a logistically feasible manner! My schedule goes a little something like this; also feel free to offer input and advice as well as constructive comments to help others!

Prologue – STEP BY STEP FACE SHAVING!! 💜

Start by washing your face with soap & water and pat dry with a clean, soft towel.

1.) Exfoliate! I use - Neutrogena Razor Defense facial scrub (for men), because yes, even after HRT, everyone says that facial hair is still an issue.

LASER/ELECTROLYSIS SIDEBAR - I will be doing one full round (about six sessions) of laser, then one to two (hopefully not more) sessions of electrolysis on my face before officially starting HRT. Then, once I start hormones, I’ve been told that facial hair grows back much less intensely as it would otherwise; thank you to @bloodcountessabendroth for the awesome advice regarding this process!❤️

2.) Pat dry; leave damp

3.) Shave, I use a Gillette Mach 3 Turbo with NIVIA Men’s foaming shave gel with aloe and a full sink of warm water, clearing my razor every 4-5 passes to avoid clogging the razor and irritating my face. I start be shaving downwards on the whole face, then across, side to side, and finally …

4.) Using a CONSISTENTLY WET BLADE, I proceed to shave against the grain 😬 Ladies, seriously the most important part of the whole process - while your face is still moderately DAMP (pls. use common sense at this point) 🤦🏻‍♀️, fire up an ELECTRIC! You heard me! I use - Braun: Series 7 with a self cleaning device to really get rid of that nagging shadow and extra troublesome hair(s).

5.) After shave … 🙄 – as dishearteningly dysphoric and psychologically counter productive as this may seem, you really can’t skip this step … trust me! I use - NIVIA men’s SENSITIVE ALCOHOL FREE post-shave balm.

— MOISTURIZE YOUR TROUBLE SPOTS –

For me, that’s laugh lines, under eyes and the corners of the eyes in addition to the top of my t-zones. I use - Affinic snail cream from Korea (🐌) for special event days/nights and on normal days I use NIVIA Maximum Hydration Nourishing Lotion with Sea Minerals.

TUESDAY! - I start on Tuesday because this is the start of my week … long story tldr; better to just roll with it. This is the day that I shave my WHOLE BODY head to toe. I honestly find that using men’s shaving cream with or without aloe, or any women’s shaving cream or gel works PERFECTLY for the body. Don’t worry about using soap or conditioner or other alternative products, shaving cream or gel works great for me and I have minimal razor irritation. I also use a Gillette Mach 3 TURBO; pay the extra $4 for the refills, it’s worth it. You can use the gels or cream on your whole body.

Wednesday - Guess what? No shaving necessary - I shave my face only because I’m at work for a 24. Now

PAUSE BREAK - If you’re going to be out and up from say, around 6AM to 11PM or later, here’s what I do between 7 and 10PM, sometimes later depending on what time I can get to a clean bathroom and working surface/space.

1.) Using a high quality makeup remover; again, you really should spend the extra money - remove from BELOW YOUR CONTOUR LINE down. I use - Clinique “take the day off.”

2.) Remember that Braun Series 7 or higher self-cleaning electric razor? Ding! Fire it up!!🦄

3.) Moisturize or apply after shave IF necessary.

4.) Re-apply primer, dark spot corrector, foundation, powder and contour/bronzer. (This whole process takes about 20-25 minutes … not bad for a fresh face, right?)

5.) Remove oil from other parts of your face. I use - Boscia green tea blotting papers.

Finally, touch up any other areas while you’re here, as it’s needed … why not, right?

Thursday - Guess what? Still only need to shave your face (if you want; if I’m not leaving the house, I won’t even bother.)

Friday - OKAY! Pro-tip for Friday - by now you’ll have stubble, so here’s what I do, to keep myself sane, even if it’s warm out! … Blue jeans! OR! Shorts with black tights! For a top I wear a t shirt or other shirt that only reveals my arms and the nape of my neck. If you’re wearing a jacket or long sleeves, you’re good to go Girl! However, if you need to, I shave the top of my feet, my arms and touch up the back of my neck.

IF YOU PLAN ON BEING INTIMATE THIS WEEKEND - You should probably repeat the Tuesday full body routine, it will be worth it!

Obviously you should be repeating the facial shaving routine on Friday as well if you have dysphoria about it; I allocate every Tuesday and Friday as “me time” to go out with friends and have fun!! 💁🏻

Saturday - I work a 12 hr. shift so I shave my face in the morning and that’s it; I catch up on sleep Saturday night. If you have a Saturday night event, switch your Friday contingencies to Saturday and repeat the Tuesday full body on Saturday (instead of Friday or vice-versa) if you are wearing a revealing outfit or planning on being intimate with your partner!!

Sunday - I work a 24 hr. shift again and wear long pants and a shirt that only reveals arms - I will shave my arms again if I need to, as well as my face.

Monday - I really just try to keep Monday as a stay inside and complete tasks day to completely let go of everything and give my body a day to rest and recover before I shave my full body again on Tuesday. EXCELLENT Monday activities that I find fulfilling and that take up most of my Monday recovery - 10-15 minute plyometric workouts, napping, Netflix, reading, practicing my Japanese, CrunchyRoll, tabletop games with your closest friends willing to come to you, PS4 and trolling the internet … Tumblr, household chores, cooking, paying bills, doing homework or studying, or whatever else it is that you personally enjoy yourself!! 💋💅🏻✌🏻

I hope this helps! Have fun my trans-warriors!! 💜🦄🌸

[transition-of-lanabean]

Blurry ol’ me. Photos look a whole lot better on a small screen than when you look at them on an actual computer, haha. Also, totally pumpkin time! It’s FALL! The best time of the year for sure! With fall comes these beautiful evenings. This was taken tonight when I was out with my friend for a few games of bowling.

 Bowling was pretty fun, and I actually won 2 out of 3 games, which is unusual as it’s normally the other way around. I stunk the first game, then shot up 80 points in the second game, then dropped a bit in the 3rd, but managed to pull it out by 10 points or so. We had some dinner as well, so overall, it was a nice night.

 This last week hasn’t been too terribly busy, and the only things to note transition wise is that I managed to update all of my information at my laser hair removal facility, and on the same trip, managed to, for the first and second time, use the women’s bathroom. I see it as... a rather minor victory as it’s the kind of business that’s next to several other businesses and all have a public bathroom that is locked by key and only has one toilet per gender. They didn’t give it a second peak when I not only took the women’s key when I got there, but again before I went home for the long way back, so that was nice. It smelled better, and everything was on the opposite side of the room than the other bathroom, but was otherwise identical. Still, using a woman’s restroom is a victory for me for sure. I’ll take it!. There were two other women that were taking their lunches out in the common room near the bathrooms too that didn’t blink, so that was good. Oh, I managed to finally get my letters from my doctor regarding all the changes, so I *believe* I managed to send Social Security all the updated changes, so hopefully that’ll come back soon with a conformation, because they sure as heck sent me a denial and why it was denied a few weeks ago.

 I also have almost everything good to go to get my birth certificate changed too (name and gender), and just need a money order for that and to mail everything off. I made double sure to contact them ahead of time to make sure I’m not missing anything. If I tried to send it at the same time as my social security things, I would have been in the same boat, so thankfully, I pretty much have to send them identical things with just a difference of a letter typed up and signed by me, and a $20 money order so they can send me a copy of the new certificate. They charge $20 by default to mail a copy of a certificate, but don’t actually charge me anything to update my records on their end, so that’s nice. Sounds pretty straight forward. Thank goodness I live in Washington State, as I hear some other parts of the country can be a lot harder, if not impossible, to do at this time.

 Other than those things, it’s been pretty routine. I am still adjusting to my new work schedule Monday through Thursday instead of my old Wednesday through Saturday, but it’s only a few extra hours per week overall, and as I get paid hourly, it makes a difference in the paycheck. I’m training a new co worker, and her last week of training is this coming week, then she has my old work schedule. She’s nice and is a pretty good learner, so it’s been fairly smooth overall.

 There is a function near me coming up next weekend that my sister and I may attend called Geek Girl Con in Seattle. It’s pretty much as it sounds from what I’ve read, and they seem very trans friendly too, so I wouldn’t be concerned going dressed if I wanted. My sister is in Vegas currently on vacation, so with all that happening, I’m not sure what she’ll want to do. No less, it’s something we may or may not do, so I’ll have to see. I’m guessing she forgot about it as it was a couple months ago she brought it up with me, but you never know, she may very well have tickets.

 My roommate still continues to be supportive, and we’re going on a shopping trip soon. That’s... about it from me for now. HRT is continuing to do it’s thing, the chest is still growing at a pretty good pace the last couple months after a hiatus for a long while, so progress is quite good there. Skin continues to soften up everywhere, hair around my body continues to diminish, though at a pretty slow pace. Laser treatments continue to show improvement within 2 or so weeks of each session, so I’ll have to wait for a week or two to see what happens with my session last Friday. The next one is scheduled a couple days before my birthday in early November.

 Well, that’s about it for now. Please let me know if you do have any questions, transition related or not, I’d love to hear from you.

 I do hope you have all had a great last week, and may the rest of the weekend treat you well!

 - Lana