#and i didnt mentally check out yay

[shortkinglogan]

It went very well I had a lot of fun, got to smoke with a few of the kings too 😁

Was actually my first drag show ever

A queen literally twice my height did a death drop just inches in front of me, it was amazing

I couldn't see some things because of being short, at the break I swapped my chair for a stool, was told "you are really short" and I had to actually jump to get on the stool.

They played American idiot and then apologized to us cause we were the only Americans there 😆

@loganspillowprincess wish you could have came with us, there's always next time!

Oh and my drag name is apparently "big gherkin" now, all because someone tried to say gherkins were just those tiny cocktail pickles and of course my dumb ass had to respond with, "I have big gherkins at home!"

Goin to Canada with the siblings tonight to see a drag show rn hopeing it goes well

[oldphanny]

so a super old friend from literal primary school just reached out to me for the first time in like over a decade and they have a kid now and stuff and I'm just sitting with the fact that I'm like almost in my late 20's and literally have nothing to show for it.

Like 'what have you been up to'

Literally nothing. Trauma and nasty people being nasty. Im essentially back to where I was as a teen. So anyway, cute kid 🥺 I'm gonna keel over and die now.

[rzyraffek]

You did a request on fainting in front of Brahms, so how would the Sinclair Brothers react to reader fainting? Thank you! Y’all have a good one! :3

Yay! My writing spirit came back! So now imma spam you all with fanfics!! I also wrote a bit more that JUST Sinclair bros

They/them, sfw, Request Open

Slashers with s/o that faints

Bo sinclair

Will immediately pick them up, check for any damage.

Will be stressed af, and get so protective i swear

Will overthink it, he kinda has anger issues so he might think he did something that casued it??? Idk

When s/o wakes up he gonna be so realived. They really gave him a scare

Will ask if anyone hurt them? Or is it like normal for them

Overall 7/10 probably died 5times while waiting for you to wake up

Vincent Sinclair

Tralala vibing with my love lala HU- WHY ARE THRT ON FLOOR??? UHH BO? BO! S/O IS IN FLOOR

Will knee and check breathing and heart beat. Of thank god at least they are alive

With bo's help carried them to bed room and he didnt leave their side! Holding their hand whole time

When they wake up he gonna shower them with kisses and hugs!!! Yay so you are alive!!! Yay!!

Will lay in bed with them, moving his legs in air while s/o turns into Wiki page and tells him all sympptoms, what to do ect

Overall 8/10 live laugh love Vincent

Lester Sinclair

S/o got to tell this man about their 'fainting problem' before it happends

Bcs this dude might cry, or have mental break down

Especially if it happend when yall where in Forest, AWAY FROM ANYONE THAT COULD HELP OR COMFORT

S/o probavly gonna wake up in middle of car ride home and this guy will be so relived

Guy will acually take notes of stuff he needs to know about their fainting problem, so in case he panics next time he has everything written down

Overall 9/10 boy is doing his best

Jason Voorhees

P.A.N.I.C

Immediately picks them up, so so worried, will check their heartbeat by putting his ear on their chest

Lays them down on the most comfy bed he could find in this god forsaken camp

Sits down next to it (probably in chair or if there's non he will just sit on ground)

When they wake up he will be so so happy but also so so puzzled? Did you ate something bad? Were you too hot? Too tired? Too worried? What happened! Tell him

You gotta to tell him step by step how to react, how to notice that s/o will faint and what to do afterwards

Man will be on full alert after every time they pass out. Like this guy will lay them gently down, put water bottle right next to them so it's close and litteraly stab anyone in 100meter radius (boi gets protective)

Overall 8/10 good care taker

Myers Micheal

... okay? So your sleeping now??? Weird

Nah but fr he was in ASYLUM for FEW years, he probably saw plenty of people who pass out, due to stress, emotions, self destructive stuff ect ect

So he knows what to do and how to do. But he simply doesn't want to lol

Hes sure that you will be fine. He will just make sure that you didht break anything or that you are laying in position that makes you able to breath of course

S/o gonna wake up with muscle pain and headache :(

Gonna tell micheal that. No babe you arent edgy, you are just an asshole

Next time he gonna sigh loudly and put s/o back to bed. Only because they gonna be mad at him afterwards.. its not that he cares! Pfff micheal? He totally doesn't care pfff

Overall 4/10 will judge the position you passed out in

Billy lenz

Will sit on their chest, litteraly he gonna choke them frfr. But he didnt mean to so it doesnt count!

Will talk to them while they are passed out

Will drag them to couch because no way in hell hes going to drag them all way upstairs

Will get bored and lonley >:(

When s/o wakes up they have to explain to him that, no s/o wasn't sleeping, they were timed out of life

Gonna bring them glas of water

Gonna look at them with his goblin eyes,and be like 'sooo can we play uno now?' 'Honey I see everything doubled now 'okay... so can we play uno now'

Next time they pass out he is gonna put them in so many blankets they turn into burrito (not only in looks but also its probably extremely hot)

Overall 6/10 would rather play uno

Asa emory

"Ooh honey..." picks them up✅, carries to bed✅, puts in right position✅, grabs water and mess from kitchen✅

He is so ✅✅✅

Will ask them about how they feel, do they need to puke? Maybe stronger meds? Are you cold? Or maybe too hot?

But he isn't very 'in your face' with all those questions, he asks them just like doctor would, with absolute no emotion or huge facial reactions. He knows it might be stressful or overwhelming

Will give space if needed

He also made sure to reread books and articles about people who pass out randomly to make sure to read theirs body language

Dont worry little butterfly you can rest now

Overall 10/10 but made you watch his beatle collections while you couldn't leave bed

[haveihitanerve]

i would like to point out- since many people tend to use this as a reason for why azriel and elain are meant to be together- recognizing someones power does not mean that they are destined to be together or that they are perfect.

beron was the one who realized luciens power. so did his brothers. they try at every turn to kill him. (except eris but that a different matter for a diff time)

rhys was the one who first noted nestas power

lucien and tamlin recognize feyres power

just because azriel is the one who recognizes elain is a seer does not mean he truly sees her.

we get an inside to luciens mind through feyre, when he comes to visit her in the library. his thoughts are about how shes so thin. and she needs to eat more. he has no bad thoughts aimed at her, not that i think azriel does but diff point again, and afterwards tells feyre she needs a healer. just to check. he has been through traumatic experiences before. he knows how mentally it can ruin you. he wants to help

when elain starts talking about the firebird, lucien offers help. he does not know her that well, she avoids him like the plague, but he asks feyre, her sister, if she needs something, if he can do anything. azriel cuts him off and says she does not need anything. then he says, we need.... a seer. he realizes what elains power is. yay. wow. good job bud! (no hate to az) lucien was concerned about elain. worried for her mentally and physical state. az was able to see from afar what her words meant, because he wasnt actually looking at her. he didnt truly see the gauntness, he cuts lucien off before he even realizes what elain needs, or if she needs something.

we learn in the bonus chapter az has a poor opinion of lucien. maybe because he is in love with elain, maybe because he was in love with mor, whatever the reason, he doesnt think highly of lucien. he didnt cut lucien off because he had a better idea of what elain needed, he cut him off because he didnt like lucien being the one to say it. (again not necessarily hate towards az)

literally just because az realized that elain was a seer does not mean he is meant to be hers. we can see/hear in the bonus chapter that az wants to claim elain. he believes he is entitled to her because lucien doesnt deserve her and his two brothers both have an archeron sister of their own. he does not deserve her just because no one else realized her power.

[casually-salad]

OOOO ALSO WANTED TO SAY I love that on that kids sheet(I'm terrible with names) with yogurt they have a sword fighting mark now. I'm sure that won't be trouble later on akabakab

Also love how you're handling these characters dude!!I'm so excited to see you continue this series and I also wanted to say I loved seeing the wonderbolts like that because that's exactly how I picture how things would go down with civilians.

OOO and for favorite aus I thought I'd share these for you to check out!! There are only three(other than this one) that I keep up with!!

I highly recommend them, especially green hordes and paintingskyes au!!!Pinkie senses has beautiful art but doesn't upload a whole bunch but has a wonderful story going on. Greenhordes is mostly reading but dude it's so worth it trust me,their infection is so sick my favorite is the mimic. And paintingskyes au is fantastic and they have a upload schedule and everything it's very well organized!!Also super fun to watch!!

Id love to hear your thoughts on the other infection aus if you do check them out!!

https://thegreenhordes.tumblr.com/?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/pinkies-senses?source=share

https://www.tiktok.com/@paintingskye?_t=8qIxEzM88AI&_r=1

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII OMG

i wanted to say - first - dont worry, well see yougurt and ruby again soon, i plan on having them be a constant for as long as i can this chapter... but im still setting up the beginning of it ;;;;; long beginning am i right? i actually have a comic i neeeed to upload but these past couple days have been hellish so i havent gotten the chance, i will soon tho.... pinkie promise.... i miiiight post a teeser on whats coming up but because you mentioned the wonderbolts ill boost em up a bit - no one really does but i do take request on who wants to be seen next :3ccc

also YAY!!!!!! i love hearing others favorite aus!!!!! the reason why i didnt respond is because i wanted to go through each au ya sent and read them... and i just got to the last one... and funny thing... those last 2 are in my top 5 rn

if youre curious... my top 5* are: harmony syndrome by cracklewink on here, then everfree infection tales by mrsgendered on youtube/tiktok, pinkies senses :3, molt effect by bumbled_eve on tiktok, and fallen dawn!!! i dont see a lot because i dont. have any platforms outside of tumblr and i read a lot from youtube videos!!!!!!!!! tho i also have to recommend are the broodmother virus which is made by my friend on here, anthlogo virus, the shimmer virus, and then the paricite infection on tiktok

IM SORRY I KNOW THATS PROBABLY A LOT BUUUUUUUT ive been in a wack mental state for a while and i infection au videos are some of the few i can watch without freaking out and so ive been rewatching/listening to a ton

*i dont like to include stories that are not done/mostly done

but anyway, i wanted to say thank you sosososososososo much for reading and im really happy when i see you pop up in my notifications, and i really appreciate all your support!!! heres this as a thank you :3

[chososcamgirl]

HIHIHIHI IYAAA SOOOO I JUST CAME BACK FROM HANGING OUT W MY FRIENDSSS AND I DIDNT BUY ANYTHINGG (was gonna spend @ Sephora but ended up reasoning with myself and put everything away YAY ME) BUTTTTTT WE DID END UP WATCHING JOKER 2 SOO IM GONNA RANT ABT IT (to make up for the lost check ins) 😈

HOW WAS WORKK??? HOPE IT WAS VERY SKIBIDIIII!!! TELL ME ABTT IT SIGMA ALPHA IYA🐺💪‼️

I FORGOT IF I SENT MY ACTUALLY DAILY CHECK IN TODAY (I write them in my notes) SO TELL ME IF U DONT SEE IT AND ILL PASTE IT OVER TO TUMBLR (im pretty sure I did but I THINK I FORGOT TO TURN ON ANON SO IF I ACCIDENTALLY DID A BLOG REVEAL KEEP MY IDENTITY A MYSTERY 🤫 BUT TELL ME SO I CAN RESEND MY DAILY ASK) 

OMG I RENTED A POWERBANK AND ACCIDENTALLY BROUGHT IT BACK WITH ME… ITS NEARLY 12AM HERE SO I NEED TO GO BACK TMRW (im gonna get charged about like $40 SOMEONE SHOOT ME OMFG) AT LEAST I GET AN EXCUSE TO GO TO THE MALL TMRW THO?? 

ALSOOO I FOUND A STORE HIRING NEAR MY SCHOOLLLL I RLLY WANT TO GET A PART TIME SO I MIGHTTT CONSIDER IT BUT THEN I WOULD NEED TO FIND THE TIME TO ACTUALLY COMMIT IF I DO WANT TO PURSUE ITTTT

OMGROIGOJIOJIR REMEMBER HOW I MENTIONED I WRITE IN MY SLEEP?? TURNS OUT THAT LIKE A WEEK AGO.. I FELL ASLEEP WHILE DOING HOMEWORK AND STARTED WRITING ABOUT MY RACE IN MY SLEEP.. AND I DIDNT BOTHER TO CHECK IT WHEN I WOKE UP ON MY DESK IN THE MORNING SO I TURNED THAT SHIT IN WITHOUT NOTICING I RANTED ABOUT MY FUCKING RACE ON MY ASSIGNMENT…. MY TEACHER WAS SO FUCKING CONFUSED ON WHY I STATED I WASN’T WHITE ON MY PAPER AND TOLD ME THAT THEY THOUGHT I MIGHT OF BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS MENTALLY… THE FACT I HAD TO ADMIT IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS SLEEP WRITING??? IM GONNA END IT PLEASEEE THATS SO EMBARRASSINMGGGG IT WAS HELLA FUNNY THO.. I WOULD POST THE PICTUJRE BUT I CANT </3 CUS OF ANON *sighs* 

ITSSS SJAPP WEEKENDDDDDD IM SO EXCITED ITLL BE 5AM WHERE I LIVE SO THAT MEANS I GET TO WAKE UP TO A NEW CHAPTERRRR

SPOILER WARNING FOR JOKER 2 ‼️‼️

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.

.

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Okay I was a HUGE fan of the first movie which was why I was excited to see the second one with my friends but honestly… IT WAS SO ASSSSS

First, I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE A MUSICAL like I don’t mind musicals, they can be BANGERS and the first few songs were good BUT as the film progressed the songs just felt so unnecessary and awkward👿😭

UGHHHH OMFGGGG IM SOOOOO PISSED ABGT HOW DIRTY THEY DID MISS QUINN IN THE SEQUEL!!!! I LOVE HARLEY QUINN AND GAGA BUT LIKE HER BACKSTORY IN THIS MOVIE AND HER WHOLE PERSONALITY IS NOT ITTTTTT PLUSSS GAGA I LOVE UR VOICE BUT OMFGG I SWEAR THE SINGING WAS TOOOOO EXCESSIVE ARNTRJNSR THEY DID HER SOO DIRTYY.. GAGA WAS ROBBED.. SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SOOOO MUCH MORE BUT HER CHARACTER WAS JUST.. BLEH..

HONESTLY IF YOU TOOK OUT ALL THE MUSICAL FACTORS THEN THE MOVIE WOULD FEEL LIKE A 2HR LECTURE… AND THE RUN TIME??? TWO HRS IS INSANE FOR SUCH A PLOT 

THERE WERE NO PLANS OF A SEQUEL AND THEY SHOULD OF KEPTTT IT THAT WAYYY OMGGG THIS WAS SUCH AN OBVIOUS CASHGRAB.. THE FIRST ONE CLEARLY HAD PASSION, THIS ONE WAS JUST FOR MONEY THERES A REASON WHY THE RATING IS SO LOWWWWWW

STILL THO, THE MOVIE HAD GOOD SCENES AND ALL THE ACTORS HAD THEIR MOMENTS  .

.

. OKKKK HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY SIGMA NIGHT!!! SWEET DREAMS I LOVE YOU DAWG 💪🔥

- 🐺

HI ALPHA!!🐺

responding to ur most recent ask sent on saturday night hello‼️‼️‼️

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD FUN WITH UR FRIENDS!!! im glad🙂‍↕️ hanging out with ur friends always makes life better even if its for that moment it’s still very much worth it <33 HOORAY FOR REASONABLE SPENDING🎉🎉 u are stronger than me alpha.. sephora and i are in a current battle and i fear she’s winning😰

WORK THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SO GOOD!! i worked 4 days in a row all either opening or closing (or both) but they were all good shifts! i’m just very exhausted from this week though like mentally and physically😭 i slept most of the day away yesterday and im just trying to rest up again today because my throat is actually getting worse which KMS.

NO LMFAO UR FINE!! if u do happen to reveal urself don’t worry i’ll keep it a secret 🤫🤫🤐 WHAT? $40 OH MU GOD what the fuck that is SO EXPENSIVE TO RETURN IT i would just keep it at that point.. but atleast it’s another excuse to go to da mall🤗🙂‍↕️ YIPEE! oooo job searching! that’s exciting. though part time is a big commitment just bc you can’t change ur hours once it’s set in place but if you want to apply for it then i say go for it!! as long as u have the time for it 100%!!

OH MY GOD😭😭 NOT ON THE HOMEWORK TOO PLS that actually made me giggle please. don’t worry abt it though i’ve seen worse!! sleep writing is a talent that u should not be embarrassed abt, you’re good‼️🙂‍↕️

IVE HEARD SO MANY BAD REVIEWS ABOUT THE MOVIE LIKE the fact that they break out into song randomly etc😭 i wanted to watch it but the reviews are making me rethink spending $15 on a movie ticket… ill probably not watch it and watch the substance instead (apparently that’s fucked) BUT ILL LYK!!!

THANK YOU ALPHA!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY SIGMA DAY‼️ ILY🫵🫂

[lolosrollercoaster]

so - back on an I need to write this out to process it and I guess im sharing it mood.

So ... been looking for a job since April, took a bit of a break in May but was supposed to be back in it by now but I'm just. exhausted. the depression has come back full force and I'm now lk desperate and financially stressed af.

So anyways, all of these months I kept just mass applying when I could get myself to with the full resume I had - no changes. no tailoring it to an application etc. and then I decided to apply again to this one place in sept - even though last year when I applied I hadn't had much luck, but this time around there was a position very similar to my last one - and I was lk fuck it I gotta do it.

in the mean time I've kinda been going to a psychiatrist since lk august to be evaluated bc I think I might also have ADHD. But anyways she thinks that I need to leave my house, see ppl and rejoin life in order to see if my problems are from lack of doing anything and so my mental health is fucked bc im lk stuck at home feeling useless or if its because of something else - lk idk something is inherently wrong with me lol. I think she'd shit on me if I said that out loud to her. she's kinda cool - lk intimidating cool but not in a bad way. she's just such a no nonsense person and she'll read you lk you're an open book you cant get much past her.

my mom had to go in to share what she'd seen happening with me (aka lk the outsiders perspective of what changes can be seen in me since Ive been mentally fucked) and she was so nervous ahahaha and then in the end she was lk wait do I want an appointment with her for myself? my mom is a whole character. if only y'all knew.

anyways back to the job thing, so she told me to apply to anything, I just needed to get a routine going again. so I applied to a bunch of things. and then I got a message about a grocery store job on indeed and tried to reply but I couldn't help but feel a bit sad bc I thought man I finally got a grown up job and now I'm back to my OG job roots, back to the grocery store life. And honestly I think a lot of my extended family has fucked me up on that bc they're so snobbish about these jobs. ANYWAYS so I didnt hear anything back after I answered them 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I thought ok . and around that time I had stopped applying.

fast forward to the past 2 weeks - my dog got sick, I got sick - we had the worst flu, I've had the worst period of the last few years, ive been out of it, my mom has been out of it, my dog has been out of it - also right - my grandmas death etc. (truly Oct is kinda dead to me now. so yay on that 😭 one less thing to look forward to which is sad when you didn't have much left) but yeah so then I see this email late Friday evening - which shit I usually check my email daily but this time I had forgotten bc id been sick - it was an email from Wednesday from that job I'd applied in sept that was a lot lk the one I'd left earlier in the year. and they wanted to interview me this week - Wednesday or Thursday. I managed to reply as soon as I saw it. and then I got a confirmation that Monday for it - it was an in person interview today.

I tried to prep for it as best as I could while physically dying a bit - bc lk I said been experiencing the period from hell. And yknow what that means? I'm so fucking emotionally wrecked atm- so anyways my dad drove me I somehow managed to be there, I was early, dressed professionally and everything - had even practiced some answers ... and then idk man - I think I fucked it up. They asked follow ups or clarifications of my answers but by the end I wasn't sure how to feel except man definitely didn't get that. they told me they'd make a decision by next week and let me know either way.

and the worse or weirdest part is I've spent the past few days since I found out about it trying to downplay it - lk its fine, you don't need this, if it's for you then it will be for you and if it isn't then it isn't. but I felt so sad walking out - lk idk I just got that feeling that they didn't like me. so now I'm all sad - even if all I've felt recently is that idgaf anymore and I'm ok with just dying - bc yup I got that passive suic*dal ideation down to a routine now. anyways - if anyone has any words of encouragement I'll take them but yeah I am sad .... and I have little to nothing left to give. it's been draining to say the least. and the worst part is I know my parents are just going to be encouraging and even my psychiatrist -she told me that I would get a job and it wouldn't matter who and if for some reason I didn't get something I should just think of it "well they weren't capable of seeing how great you are and what an asset you'd be to their team and that's fine because that just means it is not the job for you" but it still makes me sad know? I have trouble letting go of things and I'm way too hard on myself so it's just - A LOT.

anyways thats my life update.

[megismorallysunny]

HIHI

not too much happened, yknow that bb gun i was talking about tho or atleast i think i did, well the school didnt take it seriously just asked him if he had one and that was it, he was lucky to not have it that day. its not like i like being a snitch but my mom was asking about it and she was gonna tell the school about it and listen if anything is against apricot and he doenst know its me, then im all in if there are 1000 apricot haters im one of them if there is 1 im them and if there is 0 im dead.

anyways he keeps bullying melon which kinda sucks for her and he thinks its her who reported. anyways it was wellbeing week so we had to do stupid shit. yay. i absolutely loathe drawing pictures and ofc we just had to do that often. it really sucked. my friend made me move in cspe and then she moved away from me again i was so ready to punch her in the face. i nearly stapled her jumper together but missed.

on tuesday we had a sub for pe so basically no pe, got our test scores from maths scored a 76% twas a little disappointed but every1 got sort of that or lower except for very few. in french it was good and me and diorite somehow got onto the topic of costa and said that on friday we should have a goss sesh and drink the new maple hot chocolate (it was really good) so yeah we planned that out. in graphics our teacher said we would be starting our project which is basically worth 30% of the junior cert (yikes) but that was on wednesday we had graphics. also on wednesday our woodwork teacher came back and he collected the cbas except the sub told us these were all drafts and that we would have more time (spoiler alert we didnt) and our woodwork teacher is not a kind man. mine was pathetic. did i talk about the irish test?? i got on ok wasnt even a test tbh. i think our nurture teacher is avoiding us cuz idk but hes in but just doesnt show up and gets other teachers to sub which is weird..

ALSO on tuesday nearly missed the main event whoopsies, its kinda ironic considering wellbeing week and being healthy and shit for that but this girl in my year was so high that her hands started shaking and her eyes were rolling back, so the school called an ambulance bc (well one of my classmates who sits beside her) said that they thought she was gonna have a seizure. so scary shit, every1 was more worried about the weed pen she had rather than her getting seriously screwed up in the long run.

on wednesday we were supposed to have an irish test but then we got to have a wellbeing walk. i snuck in chocolate crisps or whatever you call them kinda felt like a fat bitch by the end so that was really mental health of me. Lapis (maybe someone i havent introduced but hes in my class) and this other guy got into a fight, idk what about bc no one will tell me but yeah. thursday was BORINGGGG we got hot chocolate but it was like 2 euro like wtf inflation im a student. like we have to pay 2 euro for good hot chocolate but they gave away a whole trolley full of laptops last year and just that day they let students take full ass monitors, computers and keyboards. even a fucking cars cannot park here sign. some dude took a laptop cover HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A LAPTOP. friday in irish turns out the test was a real one and im waffling, im waffling dude, so badly, im straight talking out of my ass. anywayyys i did shit but its me so i tried. on tuesday me and diorite specifically told granite "DO NOT BRING APRICOT, WE ARE SPILLING GOSS, DO NOT BRING HIM"

guess what i hear when i walk in huh, check whatsapp, i do, i see the message and it says granites ditching us for apricot, and then granite says oh no im sorry and then diorite says he invited him to costa. and my mind goes red i go up to granite and i start telling him i do " DID WE NOT TELL YOU NOT TO INVITE HIM HUH??" "yess.." "AND YOU INVITED HIM?? im disappointed im really disappointed in you" anyways we still went costa without him and it was fun until apricot showed up outside granite waved and then apricot and his friends looked at us through the window and then me and diorite buck t out fo there go to penneys catch some bargains and then go to granites house and theres granite, OD, apricot and ODs friend. we say hi but then i have to go ten minutes later. also i changed in the tesco bathrooms and i looked rly fucking hot ok. also me and diorite held an entire conversation in irish so like go me yesss. anyways good morning, day and night.

[amjustagirl]

hello nikki jie omg hOW ARE YOU! i feel like its been damn long since ive come to talk to you 😭 been trying to get ahead on schoolwork (since i didnt have much going on last week) but now its like im doing work due next week but when i get stuck nobody can help cuz my friends all havent do yet T^T BAHAHA but okay i think im keeping up pretty okay with uni so far ?? so hopefully after i clear my last midterm this sat ill be able to go for more kendo sessions yay

i see that mr nikki is making you watch squid game with him HAHAHHAH OHNO omg ive heard its really good but i also like cannot stand the horror and gore HAHA i usually watch kdramas with my mum and she suggested this but like we both scared BAHAHAH meanwhile my sis who doesnt even watch kdrama watched it in dub alr LOL i never watched hunger games but i feel like they have the same vibes?? (idk i havent actually watched either HAHAHA) oh but the cast looks really good tho 👀

i just read when the sun loves the moon ch 4 and now im :((( "im breaking up with you for your own good" is such a classic but sometimes it feels super cringey cuz like they didnt even have to break up?? but you did it so well here and bokuto usually not caring about the death threats but choosing to dump reader cuz now theyre being targeted at her too im 💔 and now all the imagery about the moon is here cuz the angst is here asdgjskfjs sobsob but the msby boys being soso sweet hinata sakusa and atsumu coming to give her coffee and meian seeing right through her idk im a sucker for all these platonic interactions?? i also absolutely loved seeing ichika and kaiyo here askfjs pls tHE RAGE ROOM OMG WOW it sounds damn fuN does sg have one of those??? askdkf but yes i love them and im glad theyre here to accompany reader ;-; that last line "distract you from the anger that’s still simmering dangerously in your chest" asfjsk i feel like reader is about to do something and idk how to feel about it😧🤧

omg and i just remembered your last reply about mr nikki smacking your face BAHAHAHAH OHNO then ok he totally deserved to be woken up after your nightmare he should consider himself lucky you didnt smack him awake too 💀 anyways hope the rest week goes well for you nikki jie!! and have fun (??) with squid game HAHA 💗 ~ ann:>

that's rly good! yknow i somehow suspect you go to my alma mater also, cos of the kendo club references hmmm ;o but yeah jiayou w midterms and sch work! i'm glad you're just steadily pegging away at work, dont stress yourself out, it's not worth it! squid game is so scary and it's much much gorier than hunger games, but way better written! i do enjoy it v v much, and the cast is AMAZING.

whoops - chapter 5 is just out!

but yeah he really didn't care abt the threats when it was directed at him, but the minute he thought the reader was in trouble, he just hit the panic button and wanted to try his best to make sure she's ok. he loves her, he really really does - and the msby boys and kaiyo rly stepped up to make sure she's okay! singapore DOES have a rage room! go check it out hehe.

yeah mr. nikki smacked me in the face when we were much younger and he was so stressed out abt work?? i was v concerned abt his mental health then so i kinda gently shook him awake and patted him back to sleep, and when i complained to my own ma she took his side too i was like!?!?!?!?

[itsaftermath]

I was doing a hard battle in 2020

Breakups

Disappointments

Loneliness

Unfinished fatigue for months

That makes me truly a different me if it is compared to the previous year

I am truly tired to live a life

Until I grumble that I feel like have been living for 4 years but it turns out it just still 2020 and my age is still moving from 23 to 24, not 27

I gave up on the rest of 2020 since the end of August /cried in a cafe for 2 hours by myself/, that was the moment that feels like “2020 is totally a damn full-of-shit year, I surrendered for the rest and wont planning as much as I do before, I wont feel the disappointment anymore, I dont believe in 2020 will bring me a good, happy, and meaningful life. I am totally exhausted and I am enough with it!” /leaving the room and slam the door/

And here we now at November, I am lying on my bed because the bone pain that I suffer and makes me weaker, dizzy head, slow walks and movements. But I am not sad, I fully accept 2020 is pathetic and I live with it, so ya, that’s ok :)

Around 2 weeks ago, my body got a very high fever, bone pain, limp, and dizzy head. It was bad till I didnt have power to stand up when I did my Subuh prayer. I did my bedrest, blood testing, and even swab!

I am tested negative for covid but my trombosit was just 78 with a very low leukocytes and positive for its widal (means I have typhoid). And finally I am being hospitalized. The situation was not good to ask my parent’s help. I have to take care of them for not going to the hospital as it is a red zone. So that time, I went to the

hospital all by myself

staying in hospital all by myself

come home all by myself

🙃

(until I thought “does my parents really love me? I found no worries on them during my sickness :’ >>> but actually yes they care but they keep doing their daily activities until no one knows around our home that I was being hospitalized lol my neighbors also wonder)

BUT, I ALSO FOUND MYSELF STILL DOING GREAT DURING THIS SHIT TIME!

I checked all of my resolutions (I only make 3 and all are checked before the year ends!) , I keep running business and it is muchhhh better than previous year (yay!), I prayed to go to a (only one dude) country abroad, and I did 3 with super amazing experiences and fully funded from a prestigious organization! (wow) and I succeed to make a progress on my master degree plan (succeed to apply for Chevening in the middle of my bad sickness 🤯 dude, how can i do that?)

I am super proud of myself until I want to make a photo of me hugging me lol. I might be have a ‘give up’ mentality but I AM TRULY APPRECIATE MYSELF.

I found myself a lot. I found my characters a lot. I found that I am a not-really-that-give-up girl (found out I CAN NOT really give up on what I believe until my core aka masih suka gatel daftar2 program pengembangan bisnis pdhl katanya capek(?) wkwk)

So, I plan to thank myself on my birthday that coming next December, I have a plan to give a gift to myself, make a thankful birthday party with my closest friends or even the people and children in my village, and be happy to become who I am today.

I feel sooo relieved - I love the people that truly care of me during my lowest point (bapak-ibu-keluarga inti-best friends) - I got tons of love from them and I want to show my love to them too.

I realized that I have been so mean for myself for years - less appreciate myself - forcing too hard - didnt care on my body’s limit. Its okay to face failures, it is the life everyone is facing, no need to worry a lot.

Last but not least, thank you Desy for doing awesome! I love you the bone!

[studypurple]

studyblr truths: why having pretty notes doesn't matter

hello! im sorry i don't exactly have content to post today, so instead imma tell yall a studyblr story.

i’ve had a tumblr since i was 11, but i didnt get into the studyblr community until i was 12. i was introduced by my roommate in grade 7 to this part of tumblr after i had asked her why she made her notes so pretty.

and i was so overwhelmed. like, an entire group of people out there genuinely enjoyed making their notes pretty because it made them feel inspired to study.

i'd never actually actively tried to make my notes pretty before id seen studyblr because it just never occured to me that it was something that would make me feel motivated. but right then and there, my 12-year-old brain was convinced that this was how i SHOULD be studying, especially since my roommate had the prettiest stationary. it was also the first time i had seen expensive stationary, because as someone from the province entering the city, it was my first time to see so many different colors of highlighters and pens and markers and brush pens.

so when i reached grade 8, i decided i wanted my notes to be pretty. i would try to rewrite my notes every night, and use a color scheme for each "spread" of notes. i purchased a pack of 30 expensive colored pens, convinced that i needed them to study. i even used a compass to draw perfect circles when we were studying earth science.

and you know what? it was terrible for me. i would spend so much time rewriting my notes that i didn't have time to study. i didn't even use all the colors in my thirty-pack of pens. i focused on the aesthetic of my notes instead of the content. it was stupid, but 13-year-old me really thought it was better for my grades, when actually it was just leaving me be sleep deprived a lot of the time.

so i tried to make small changes. instead of setting a color scheme per topic, i made up a system of colored pens to use. i stopped buying expensive stationary. i learned to actually focus on digesting and understanding what i was studying, and realizing that i didn't need i actually didn't need nice notes to say that i studied.

and four years later, i'm back to using regular notebooks and regular pens. i have 1 black pen, 2 highlighters, and a ruler, and that's pretty much all i use for notes.

now im not saying that everyone shouldn't make their nice notes or that the studyblr community is bad. i love and adore the studyblr community with all my heart. i admire the people who put effort and time into making nice notes.

but it doesn't work for everyone. there are people who don't have enough time to rewrite notes or money to buy expensive stationary. there are people who just like the way they currently write notes. there are people who absorb information without even needing a highlighter (i dont know how u do this but,,,, ok).

the point is, you don't need that "studyblr aesthetic" to study or even start a studyblr. all that matters is that you know and love what you're studying.

- Elle 💜

check out some of my other posts here (yay i finally have enough posts to make categories!):

school and organization

how to organize your summer

101 bullet journal ideas

study moods: b99 edition

motivational phone wallpapers 1

motivational phone wallpapers 2

dormitory packing list: the bare essentials

30 things to paste or place in your bujo

mental health

little things to do to be a little better

10 ways to be productive that isn’t studying

things to do by yourself to reset

[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Two Sugars Please (Pt.2)

-------------------------

"Alright kiddos! Up and adam! You've got school in an hour!" Patton made his way down the halls of his home, stopping in each of his children's rooms to make sure they were awake.

Once he'd finished that particular task he began to work on breakfast, which was his favorite task of the day. Granted, he had to make it quick, he never woke up early enough to have it done in time it seemed.

"Papa Papa! Do I get to go today?" Hera said, kicking her legs while in her seat.

"Not just yet hatchling, soon you will, but not with your siblings," Patton said, giving her a small smile.

"Awe, ok. . ." she said, drumming her fingers on the table.

"Do I have to go to school," Virgil said, flopping unceremoniously into another chair and propping his legs over the arm rest.

"Now Virgil, school is important! You should be excited to go!" Patton said. He worried about his eldest sometimes, he'd have to check with Janus about that hotel of his, it might do Virgil some good to get a check up on his health.

Apate was the last of the trio to join the table, their eyes vague and tired.

"Alright, that's three faces ready to start the day then?" Patton said as he set out the plates and food.

"So are you gonna tell us about yesterday?" Hera said, eyes wide.

"I made a friend, his name is Janus, he owns a mental health hotel, I think it would benefit you to pay a visit Virgil, what with all the trouble you've been having lately," Patton said, nodding in Virgil's direction. This caused the purple-haired boy to look up from his diet of a single piece of bacon and a biscuit, eyes wide.

"Dad I promise I'm fine- I told you I'm working on it," he said, voice quivering.

Patton seemed to realize his misstep, he smiled gently "I know, I dont think you need to visit any time soon, but I think the informations nice to have, if you need it, and for goodness sake eat some eggs with that meal of yours!" he said, laughing. Virgil's expression relaxed, he rolled his eyes and placed some scrambled eggs on his plate.

Patton hated watching his oldest children leave for school, not sk much for his sake, but the look of distress on his daughter's face was never fun to see.

"You wanna hang out at the park hatchling? Would that help?" Patton plucked the girl off the couch and into his arms, she was tangled in one of Virgil's old jackets, which he'd refurbished for her to match her favorite plush raven.

"Park!!!!" she said, face glowing with excitement.

"Ok, but you need to change into something else," Patton set her back down and wriggled her out of the jacket, watching her run to her room.

It was a nice day out, the breeze wasnt to strong and it wasnt to hot, Patton was glad for that.

"Didnt think I'd see you back out so soon," Patton looked out of the corner of his eye, still keeping his focus on pushing Hera on the swings.

"Morning Janus, good to see you again," Patton said, smiling.

"Hello!!!" Hera said, falling out of the seat slightly. Patton picked her up so she wouldnt hurt herself.

"You must be Hera, yes?" Janus said, smiling.

Hera nodded excitedly, "I'm this many!" she said, holding up one hand. Janus took the opportunity to grant her a high five.

"Shes not old enough for school yet," Patton said.

"Must be nice having at least one still in the house hm?" Janus said.

"Yeah, shes a little trouble maker sometimes though, arent you?" Patton poked the girl's stomach just enough to elicit a slight giggle, she flapped her hands slightly and wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling brightly.

"Mhm! biiiiiiggggg trouble!" she said, letting out another laugh.

"Oh you shouldve seen Remus and Adrestia at that age, I was worried they'd burn the house down some days!" Janus said, making a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sigh.

"How are yours enjoying school?" Patton said, sitting on the nearby bench with him.

"Roman's class president, very excited about it, Remus doesnt really care much, but his grades are excellent, even if his study methods are a bit, hard to follow, the younger twins only really care about their art classes," Janus smiled fondly, as though remembering some long forgotten event from a better time in life.

"Virgil mostly pays attention to his music and writing classes, Apate only seems to enjoy debate team," Patton said with a laugh.

"Yeah! They practice with me all the time!" Hera giggled as she spoke.

"They sound very confident," Janus said.

They talked for a while, Hera interjecting every now and again with her own anecdotes.

"Well, it was nice seeing you again," Patton said, checking the time.

"Perhaps we could schedule a time for the kids to meet eachother?" Janus asked, tilting his head ever so slightly.

"Yay!!!!" Hera said, standing on the tips of her toes.

"I think they'd like that," Patton smiled and walked away, Hera continuing on and on about how excited she was to tell her siblings about their day.

----------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@official-lucifers-child

@oceanart123

@spooky-scary-virgil

@misunderstoodshadowling

[greenteaandwishes]

what an abortion is really like

because i would have loved to know what was gonna happen when i needed mine!

for reference: i had a surgical (in clinic/aspiration) abortion, i was around 13 weeks, and i didn’t go to planned parenthood, i went to a local womens health center in boulder.

i called the clinic on a thursday, they said they only schedule abortions on fridays and since i wasnt sure how far along i was they’d recommend i get there the next day if at all possible. i scheduled the appointment for that friday, asked how much it would cost and was met with a set price of $600. i asked if there was any way to set up a pyment plan, and they said yep! they also transferred me to their financial aid advisor and my total cost ended up being $500, of which i paid $300 upfront and am payingthe rest $50 weekly.

i got there and checked in, everyone was very welcoming and kind. they had me fill out some paperwork, mostly just typical medical care stuff like insurance, emergency contact, etc. there was a paper with specific abortion related questions like are you comfortable with your decision and who has been your biggest supporter through this, stuff like that. everyone also made sure to ask what my preferred pronouns were, which was really nice because i’m very feminine presenting and i sometimes prefer they/them as opposed to she/her. i went to use the restroom and there was a sign that said that they need a urine sample, so if i havent given that i should wait for the doctors.

i waited for about 10 minutes and then the nurse came out to get me. i went in, they took a urine sample and my vitals and then said that i was good to go ahead and strip from the waist down and the doctor will be in shortly. i asked if i could keep my socks on (i wore my lucky socks lmao). she said yes. anyway, i undressed and the doctor came in, asked how i was feeling and what type of abortion i would be having. i said i was nervous and probably surgical because i think im too far along for a medication. she did a quick pelvic exam and an ultrasound (but not on my belly, it was an ultrasound that went up my vagina.) she confirmed that i was too far along for a medication abortion and that i’d need a surgical one, and that my next step was to go up to counseling.

i went up to counseling and the woman i was with was super nice. i was expecting a “this is why abortion is bad” shpiel because i know that a lot of states have laws that require counselors to tell you things like that. luckily, i didn’t get that (yay colorado!). i got a very supportive woman who answered all my questions and walked me through what was going to happen through the procedure, and just a general place to talk and vent what i’d been feeling. it lasted about an hour, and at this point i started getting kinda hungry and i asked if i was allowed to eat (because some surgeries you cant eat before.) she said that i am but i should be aware that im probably gonna feel a bit nauseous during/after the procedure.

the first step in this whole thing is taking a pill to dilate and soften my cervix, and that takes about 2 hours to fully work, so i took that first. i also was given some anti nausea meds, advil and anti anxiety medicine. my doctors were very kind and asked me what i wanted and felt like i needed, explained to me that i could take two anti anxiety meds or just one, and explained that i had the option to take a narcotic painkiller as well. at first i decided to just take advil and one anti anxiety, but about an hour later i was feeling very anxious and a little in pain, so i took the second anti anxiety and a narcotic (i was skeptical about the narcotic but i talked with the doctors quite a lot about side effects and addiction, before ultimately deciding to take it.) i couldn’t have taken the narcotic if i were to be driving myself home. last but not least, they did a finger poke to check if i was rh negative or positive, because if i was negative i would’ve needed another pill.

after that super mega pill cocktail, i got called back to a room much like the first one with the ultrasound. i undressed and tried to mentally prepare myself. there were three people in the room besides me: my doctor, her assistant, and a trained support person. doctor and assistant were down by my vagina, while the support person was holding my hand and talking me through it. i felt the doctor put a numbing shot in my cervix and then i just felt a lot of pressure and cramps. i had my hand resting on my belly and i could feel my uterus cramping. i started crying, it wasn’t painful exactly, just weird and overwhelming. i squeezed my suppirt persons hand and apologized for crying, all while she was just talking to me and saying its okay and all that stuff. it was over in about 10 minutes. the doctor and assistant left right after that, but my support person stayed. i know it was so that if i fainted or something, i wouldnt be alone, but it was honestly really comforting having her there with me. i lay down for about 5 more minutes before i felt okay to sit up and put on my pants. me and the support person chatted for a bit. i dont really remember what we talked about.

after i put on my pants my support person led me to a room with recliners and crackers and water and books. there were two other women in there, who met me with a heating pad and a heated blanket. i rested there for about half an hour, drinking water and eating saltines, and reading this book full of other people’s experiences with abortion. i felt so cared for and seen, it was amazing. they had me give one last urine sample and then led me around the back (handicap exit, so no stairs) where my boyfriend was waiting in his car. i think they told him to go wait out there once i was in the recovery room, because that way when i was ready to leave i could.

i got in the car and drove home with my love. we stopped at walgreens to get some pads, because the doctors said i couldnt put anything in my vagina for at least a week, but that i was going to be bleeding a bit. since i use a menstrual cup, i didnt have normal pads at home. i cried a little bit in walgreens, thats around when the pain meds wore off. when i got home i took another advil and laid down with a heating pad and netflix, and eventually i fell asleep.

its about a week after my abortion now, my cramps have gone away entirely. they were bad for the first few days though. im almost done bleeding. i’m no longer experiencing nausea or fatigue or sore boobs. my hormones have been a little crazy, i keep going from very calm and chill to just downright cranky. i can call the clinic back any time for support, and to schedule a follow up appointment if i feel i need one. all in all, it was a very peaceful experience. not once did i feel judged or ashamed at my choice. everyone at the clinic was ridiculously kind and caring. im very grateful i had the experience i had.

feel free to reblog or message me with any questions!

[glasses-and-anxiety]

let’s talk about my depressing life

ok so basically let’s start with me being born jkjk we’re not doing that.

so I kno no ones gonna read this but I have to vent somehow right?

TRIGGER WARNING

mentions of suicide and overdosing, mental health issues, anxiety

so we’re gonna start with mental health issues yay. it seems like everyone has them, especially on this goddamn site.

so basically sometime around a year ago (july 2018) I was put into an inpatient facility under a form 1.

(don’t drag me I haven’t done any research and this was a while ago)

I’ve had anxiety since I can remember. in SK (I was like 5 or 6 idk) I wouldn’t speak to my teachers cuz I was too scared. I have a vivid memory from grade 4 (9 yrs old or smth) when I cried in front of the class cuz my teacher picked on me to answer a question (I didnt have my hand up but that’s another issue I can rant about later)

I switched schools for grade 5 which made my anxiety rise but it was a private school so they had all sorts of thing around that stuff and eventually I got a lot better than I was before. the school however ended at grade 8 and I’d have to switch for high school.

so the summer between grade 8 and 9 a lot of things happened.

(my birthday is over the summer so I had just turned 14)

for the past like year I had been... idk how to say this... like casually contemplating suicide which led to actually contemplating suicide kind of thing. like I don’t want to say I was that serious about it. I mean I looked up stuff about overdose and shit so I guess I was serious about it, but I just don’t like to say so.

anyway keep in mind I had done research about how much it takes to overdose so I knew about what I would survive. so that summer I went and overdosed on a fuckton of advil and melatonin, but obviously not enough to kill u since I’m here telling the story.

it rly should have fucked up my insides at least a bit, but I knew it wouldn’t even come close to killing me. don’t get me wrong it hurt like I bitch, but I didn’t even have to like get any medical care from the hospital. all they did was check my vitals, nothing was actually like put into me (I did throw up a lot before the ambulance came tho)

anyway I’m out of town atm so it’s not a very state of the art hospital. I am in ontario but the hospital isn’t even close to busy. it’s practically abandoned (that was scarier than being worried I’m gonna die). the doctor who has no idea who I am comes in talks to me for about 3 minutes and decided I need to be placed under a form one because I’m either a danger to myself or to others (obviously it was meant for the former). like 3 fucking minutes to decide whether or not to fucking detain me? bullshit

(obv I’m biased since I didn’t want that outcome but like fr 3minutes?)

anyway they keep me overnight and force my parents to pay for an ambulance to the city I live in so I can be kept in an inpatient facility there. and when I get there they insist on wheeling me on a fucking stretcher through the lobby area (not the ER) for everyone to see and up to my new home.

now I’m sure inpatient facilities work for some people (more like 1% imo) but that was the worst thing for me.

I have SOCIAL ANXIETY (and general). yes keep me in with all of these people I don’t kno and expect me to be comfortable talking to complete strangers.

this was basically my first experience with psychiatrists and shit (other than that one time when I was like 6 when my parents made me go to this GROUP therapy thingy for my SOCIAL anxiety).

the woman who was assigned to like work with me was like fresh out of whatever program they learn in for this shit. she looked and sounded like she wanted to cry when she was talking to me (like yeah that’s helping me feel all comfy talking to u) and honestly it was the worst.

(I know my spacing of this thing is horrible)

(I also kno it’s long af)

so ima try to keep this in one paragraph now. they made me talk to them and whatever I said they would twist it to make it sound like I was unstable. I hid an ipod in my room along with earbuds cuz they found my phone immediately since I only put it under my pillow. they didn’t trust us with anything with a camera, anything long (like wires), etc. they locked away my clothes and made me wear a fucking gown that was way too big for me (but some other inmates didn’t have to). one time they left that thing unlocked and I took a bunch of my clothes from it and hid that shit in my room so I knew I could access it even if I couldn’t wear it. they let us keep a set of pyjamas (our own) which I ended up always wearing under my clothes even if I was super hot just because I was trying to piss them off ( I kno bad move). I was rly mad they’d put me in there. whenever my parents would visit (which was only allowed for a tiny amount of time each time) we’d be in a separate room where I’d take off the hospital clothes and wear just my clothes. I eventually didn’t put those other clothes back on and refused. it’s not like they could do anything about it. they can’t hit me. so that was my little rebellion. I wouldn’t eat any of the hospital food cuz it was disgusting so I just ate the snacks they let me bring in. they ended up keeping me longer than they said it would be so that was shit. it overall made me feel worse about myself than I had felt before. like I cry at night when I think about inpatient. there’s so much more i could talk about but I’m not feeling it rn

this was long

[blue-reimu]

messy ramble under cut about life lately. allusions to neglect included but i didnt rlly go indepth, this is pretty much just me being happy about stuff lmao

i moved out of my house recently and wow outside world is kinda wild ngl . in a good waay. i get to eat food other than tinned soup and im allowed to leave my house and i actually see people . going to the store is so fun and makes me so happy even if literally all i do is walk around (tho sometimes the everything makes me dissociate- usually it's only tesco this gets really bad with though idk why?? maybe just cause it's bright and theres lots of people and the music and all of it combined just makes me check out). i can also shower pretty much whenever i need or even want to so ive been doing that way more regularly than i used to in the past and that's pretty great !

also i got a new coat recently at a charity shop and it is probably one of my best financial decisions lately, it's got lots of pockets and it's really comfy and i have a really weird thing where sometimes i dont like not wearing at least one clothing piece thats the colour blue and this coat is blue :)) and since i dont need to wash coats as often as other clothing pieces and it isnt one of those fluffy ones specialised in warming you up ive been wearing it literally everywhere every day and not worrying about the colour of what i have available being an issue. it's really nice kind of teal blue as well with mustard yellow accents on things like the zippers and inside, it's super cool looking im very enthused abt it!!

ive also been able to try new foods!! and coffee that isnt just hot water with plain granules. im finding i really like caramel macchiatos. ive also added prawns to my list of favourite foods because i seem to like them in literally everything i try them in and actively go looking to eat them. my parents were always against me eating a lot of specific seafoods, so ive not had them until now. i also like oreos and banoffee cake. to at least some extent i think im starting to really like food in general, even if i still struggle to eat sometimes. back at my parents house it was hard or sometimes seemingly impossible to find food to eat that wasnt just tinned or processed, but now i get other stuff and it's really nice!

and im going to uni and being able to learn things in a formal environment again is so nice, i never liked school but the way uni works suits me much better ngl. note taking then doing my own research + assignments about a specific thing i enjoy feels much better than how school goes about things. inevitably theres gonna be some stress but for now im enjoying myself. :] theyre also gonna be helping me get support for my disability + mental illness stuff so yay

related, im finally gonna be able to see a doctor! and get checked for.. uhh so many things honestly. and im hopefully getting proper counselling eventually and prooobably more therapy if im honest.

also funny but i got called hot by 2 people today based on a silly online thing and also went through my fifty millionth experience of "are you really a girl???" (context i am AFAB but my voice is incredibly deep and masculine and it always, ALWAYS catches people off guard online when they hear it LMFAO). vc'd with a friend for the first time and he literally had to tell me he needed a moment, he was that shocked apparently. i just sat there politely trying not to laugh lmao and regarding my earlier talking about food, today my sister bought me a coconut frappe and strawberry and cream cheesecake and i really liked those too. ^^ and i sat in the coffee shop we got them from eating them and someone came to sit with me, and we didnt really talk and i was a little nervous but it was nice anyway

today was good overall. i liked living, i liked myself in fact. feelin confident and stuff right now. life is getting better in a lot of ways in general.

this is probably even more messy than i thought it would be but i just wanted to dump my excitement here pfft