#and i didn’t know about the song itself before playing the first game

[goldensunset]

AGHHHH. the use of ‘embracing one’s duty’ again. SOOOOO good. this is n’s theme, to me- it’s him as a hero. in the first game maybe he was the misguided antagonist you had to stop but even so he fully believed he was doing something good. and this theme reflects that. now it’s used again and it’s fully him, having come into his own… there’s no better song they could’ve possibly picked for his triumphant return. plus it only played in one tiny area last time so now they’re doing it justice!!!!

[jae-sch-writes]

Fruity Confessions

Characters: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester

Word Count: 1,584

Genre: fluffy goodness

Summary: After a hunt, the Reader gets very drunk. What will Sam do?

Warnings: alcohol consumption (like, a lot of it), mention of murder (nothing out of SPN norm), mention of smut (in a book), hinted at smutty thoughts

A/N: What's up Tumblr? It's been a while. Writing is gonna be all over the place because I have a kid now! (crazy, right?) But as a SAHM, I have a lot of free time to write, so here's to (hopefully), getting back into it. Edited by Grammarly, but any and all mistakes are no one's fault but me, myself, and I.

Want to read more? SPN Masterlist Full Masterlist

You were a fruity drink kinda girl. While the boys had their variety of beers, you preferred Smirnoff Ices or a seltzer of some kind. When the situation called for something a little harder, like at the end of every hunt, the Winchesters drank whiskey, and you enjoyed a bottle of wine. 

With each state you’ve gone to, you made sure to find a winery from that state, and if they had a fruity-flavored bottle, you were definitely getting at least one. This time- Wisconsin.

A hunt had brought you to Green Bay: at Lambeau Field to be specific. Home field Packers’ games were canceled after eight different fans of the Detroit Lions were found dead after their game. It didn’t take long to find out it was a ghost, however, finding out who the ghost was was a different story. After lots of research, Sam had determined it was Bart Starr, the Packers’ quarterback during their first Super Bowl win.

“The dude’s buried in Alabama, so how the hell did he make it here beyond the grave?” Dean asked.

“One of Starr’s jerseys is at the Field. That’s definitely what he’s being tethered to, but it’s gonna be difficult getting it out of its case. Lambeau has all of their memorabilia in cases with alarms,” you said, not looking up from your book. After some moments of silence, you looked up to see Sam and Dean looking at you like you had three heads. “What? I know things.”

“Yeah, but about football?” Dean was shocked. “Not even the game itself, but the fact you just happened to know one of these random player’s jerseys was in their museum? It’s weird.”

“Dean, leave her be, she literally just told us what we’ve gotta burn.” Sam was impressed. While he had never been interested in sports, he was pleasantly surprised by your knowledge, however niche of a topic it may be. “But, I gotta know,” Sam turned to you, “how did you know that?”

“I’ve been to a game or two at Lambeau Field. My dad was a Packers fan.”

You happened to be the one to go to the jersey to burn it while the boys were your backup. The faded green jersey with the number 15 on it was lit up in its display case. You all knew it had to be in and out. Break the case, burn the jersey, and get the hell out.

The sound of shattering glass came with the sound of an alarm, alerting the guard at the entrance to the museum portion of the stadium. Bart Starr was throwing around Sam and Dean like they were footballs.

You had just barely been able to get a match onto the jersey before security was able to see you. Luckily, the small flame was enough to distract him and made him run in the opposite direction to get a fire extinguisher.

The next morning, as Sam and Dean were packing up, you drove to a state business called Festival Foods. There, you found their selection of state-made wines. You opted for a couple of labels all made of cranberries. If you were grabbing wines made in Wisconsin, you might as well grab ones made with one of the state’s bigger industries.

You spent the twelve hours from Green Bay back to Lebanon in almost complete silence. You and Sam reading your books, and Dean humming along to whatever song was playing on the radio.

The minute you got home, you grabbed the cooler and went to the kitchen. Your only thoughts were on the wine you had got and how you needed to try it.

“Y/N, you didn’t even grab your-” Sam’s sentence was interrupted by seeing you grabbing a wine glass from the cupboard. “I’ll go put your bag in your room.” Sam knew better than to get between you and your wine. The last time he tried that, he ended up on the floor from trying to cut you off for the night. Your love for wine and need for a drink after a hunt had given you the drunken power to somehow take him down, despite the size difference between you and him. 

Sam retreated from the kitchen to his bedroom. You took your bottle, glass, and book to the library and settled yourself into the loveseat you had picked for nights like these. 

About 3/4ths of the bottle in, you had abandoned the thought of a wine glass and just started drinking straight from the bottle. Your mind was wandering from the fantasy-romance you were reading and to thoughts of Sam. When you reached a smutty part of the story, you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be with Sam in that way.

You were now a bottle down, and made your way back to the kitchen to open up another one. It really didn't take long for you to finish the second bottle. You were stumbling to the kitchen, with the intent to grab your third bottle, when you were stopped by the table in the library, not at it, by it. You had walked right into it, almost like you forgot the large oak table was there. 

Getting to the kitchen truly was difficult for you, your drunken version of a marathon. Sam heard all of the commotion going on and took a guess on where you were heading. Usually he would leave you be, but being able to hear you walk into things, he decided to risk you being mad at him. 

He stood in the doorway, blocking the entrance to the kitchen, and let you walk right into him. It took him everything to keep him from laughing at your face when you were met with the wall of muscle. 

“Sammy, whaddya doin’ here?” Your words were slurred, but not incoherent.

“Preventing alcohol poisoning,” Sam grabbed your hand and guided you down the hall. “Come on, let's get you to bed.”

“Can I sleep in yours?” Your drunken state left you with no filter. The words just came out of your mouth. 

“Ya know, given you walked right into me like I was invisible, that might actually be a good idea.”

Sam’s response invoked a giggle from you, and he couldn't help but smile. Even though you were stumbling down the halls of the Bunker, bumping into Sam every couple of steps, he thought you were adorable. You were usually pretty reserved and in control, but like this, you’re care-free, not calculating your every move. 

It took almost twice as long to get to Sam’s room as usual with how many times you bumped into him or tripped over your own feet resulting in him having to catch you. Sam told himself after the fourth time if you fell one more time, he was just going to pick you up and carry you the rest of the way. Much to his dismay, that did not happen. He would have loved to know your reaction in the morning if you remembered him doing that. 

When you finally reached Sam’s room, the first thing you did was flop on the bed, or attempt to anyway. Thankfully, you fell just short of landing all the way on so your head never hit the floor. Sam chuckled and helped you up. Before laying back down, you took off your shirt, leaving you in just your bra and sweatpants. 

This wasn't the first time Sam had seen you without a shirt, or the first time the two of you shared a bed, but this time was different. This time you were drunk and didn't really know what you were doing. In your drunken state, you were just getting ready for bed, for Sam, he couldn't help but think that you thought of him as someone safe. Why else would you have asked if you could stay with him tonight?

Sam got you comfy on the bed, all the while you were giggling up a storm. Sam looked at you and smiled. “What? What's so funny, Y/N/N?”

“Nothin’. I just think you're cute. And tall,” you looked at Sam with big eyes and a goofy grin. “Oh my gosh you're so tall.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Sam chuckled. “Let's just get you to sleep, alright?”

You nodded as he helped you make sure you didn't smack your head against his bed frame. Sam grabbed the small trash can sitting at his desk and brought it to your side of the bed. You usually held your liquor really well, but given your state, he didn't want to take any chances. 

“Sammy?” you say quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” your voice got serious. Sam knew you'd be falling asleep soon, you always stopped being goofy towards the end of the night. 

“I mean it. I really do,” Sam knew you weren't just saying that because you were drunk. If you were talking, your filter may be going, but you mean every word that comes out of your mouth. 

“I know you do,” Sam smiled softly before crawling into his bed behind you and pulling his blanket over the two of you. He let his arm fall over your side and rubbed his thumb in small circles over your stomach. He hated not knowing if you were going to remember this in the morning. 

He waited to hear your breathing become slow and steady before whispering, “I love you, too, Y/N/N.”

Tag List

@train-wrecc

add yourself HERE

[cr4yolaas]

mezzo forte — ebb and flow

track 9: homesick v.2 | masterlist | track 11: tbd

she feels sick to her stomach when she opens her door. the mid afternoon sun beats down on his back — it’s clear in the sweat collecting on his face and the dark splotch around the collar of his t-shirt. she can’t decide if she wants to see him.

“haji, why are you here?”

the call of his name — not his nickname, never his nickname, not when it fell from her lips — renders him immobile. whatever confidence he mustered up on the trip to her place dissipates, and the lines he’d carefully conjured up while taking the steps up to the door slip away. “i wanted to see you,” he whispers, seemingly unsure in his answer.

she’s scared to respond. her irritation is still riddled within every crack and crevice. she doesn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“why?”

he pauses. it’s silly, watching someone as sure and stable as athletic trainer hajime iwaizumi crumble to dust at the receiving end of such a simple question. the thought makes him want to curl in on himself, until he’s no longer recognizable. instinctively, his hand drops to the hem of his shirt, the calluses on his fingertips catching onto the loose threads while he fiddles. she notices (she always does), but whatever acknowledgement she wants to wrangle out of her throat fails to escape, leaving them both in silence.

“i want it to be me,” he finally whispers. he looks at her earnestly, with the same determination he bore when he first asked her to play with him the week he moved in, and the same pride he carried when he ran to her first after every victorious game; all of it is reminiscent of the boy she grew up with, and not the man who stands before her with clammy palms and an unsteady head.

“what do you mean?” she asks, though she knows the answer already.

“i want the songs to be about me. all of it.”

“but you said they couldn’t be.”

he shakes his head instantly. he can’t hold it back anymore, the sweet and ripe and tender feeling that’s been growing in his chest since youth. “i didn’t mean that. i was just- i didn’t believe it. i didn’t want to. but now,” he breathes for a second. “i don’t want them to be about anyone else.”

whatever anger she’d been holding onto dissolves entirely, replacing itself with desperate, piercing yearning. the thoughts of her manager fall apart, and the thoughts of the (supposed) impending doom of her career escape her. instead, all she can think about is the way her hands fly to his collar and tug him towards her.

it’s messy, and rocky, and impulsive, but she can’t fight it. her lips meet his, and it feels natural. like she’s been waiting for it for an eternity.

♪ we are nearing the end

♪ i know the end by phoebe bridgers starts playing

♪ in all seriousness im just glad to end this soon LOL

♪ hajime iwaizumi the man that you are. if i were upset and he came to my door professing his love i think i’d also forget about all my issues

♪ shoyo considers himself a “good best man” bc he helped yachi and kiyo finally get together. he does not know wingman and best man are different things

♪ msby 4 has been putting up with iwa and his problems for too long they were jumping for joy when they found out it was over

♪ anyways. i’m glad this is ending soon i have other things i want to work on 😊

taglist: @zumicho @causenessus @guitarstringed-scars @yuminako @chemiru @sunnyskiezzzz @httpsivy @itsdragonius @theycallmenanamisgirl @wyrcan @19calicos @hunnies4bunnies @mawenskiblue @diorzs @loverlunaire @mfcherry @solaqes @myromanempiree @brithedemonspawn @corvid007 @lilchubbyyy @hyenagoated

italicized names are unable to be tagged. please check your privacy settings :)

[wzrd-wheezes]

Cat and Mouse - Rockstar!Sirius x Reader Smut

AN - hello! this is the first fic im posting in a little while and what better way to come back than with some sirius smut. I'm a little rusty so please forgive me <3

Includes: cocky, arrogant, somewhat toxic sirius. swearing. unprotected sex. choking. slight degradation and just other general filth.

1.2k words.

smut starts under the cut.

“I knew you’d come tonight.” Sirius drawled, shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He handed his guitar to one of the roadies, his skin glistening with sweat from the bright stage lights and made his way over to her. 

“Didn’t have anything better to do.” Y/N said drily, her arms folded over her chest. She purposely tried not to look at him, letting her gaze drift to his bandmates who were packing away the rest of their equipment.  

“Seems like you never have anything better to do,” Sirius taunted, leaning over and smirking at her, “you know, with the number of times that you tell me you’re not coming to see me again, yet every time I play you conveniently have ‘nothing better to do’.”  

“Yet you always put my name on the guestlist.” 

“Because I enjoy this little game we play. The one where you pretend that you’re not bothered about me even though we both know that you are.” 

“I’m the one that’s bothered?” Y/N scoffed, “You’re the one that I get fifteen missed calls off when I don’t show up to your gigs. You’re the one that writes songs about me when I’m not even your girlfriend. But I’m the one that’s bothered?” 

 "You're the one who always shows up at these gigs only to see me and then make out like you don’t care about me." he shot back. "You love the attention I give you. You love the fact that I write about you.” Sirius laughed. 

“You’re a narcissist. You like the fact that I have feelings for you, that I care enough to show up to your concerts.” she spat. 

“Ah, but you love it.” He said, his town teasing as he leaned closer towards her, “I know you do.” 

As if to prove his point, he leaned forward and place one hand gently under her chin, forcing her eyes up towards him. Then, ever so gently, brushed her lips with his, letting the barest hint of a kiss touch her before letting his hand drop.  

Sirius was clearly enjoying himself and it was clear to Y/N that he was just trying to get under her skin. She glared back at him, angry at him for mocking her but at the same time wanting him badly. It was a feeling that both of them had struggled with for a while now, through months of hooking up yet never actually committing to each other.  

He was relentless, always trying his hardest to catch her off guard. All the times when she had resolved to ignore him, he would find a way to worm his way inside her thoughts. If not by words then by gestures; the way his arm would snake round her waist, the way he would rest his hand on her thigh when they were sitting together, the way he would have her pressed against the wall in the quickest flash if he wanted to.  

“We both know why I’m here so why don’t we just cut the bullshit.” Y/N said, deadpan. 

“Because you’re in love with me?”  

“Because you’re a good fuck, Black.” 

Sirius groaned, the air was thick with the tension that had been building between them. A smug smirk plastered itself across his face.  

“And there it is.” he said, looking her up and down, his eyes roaming over her body and then back up to her lips, “I thought we were going to dance around the inevitable for the rest of the night.” 

Sirius grabbed her by the wrist, yanking him towards his dressing room. A boot-clad foot kicked the door open before swiftly pulling her inside and knocking it shut behind him. 

“There’s no fun in being coy with you, sweetheart,” his eyes still locked on her lips, “I’m aware of how this goes. You come to see me, and you pretend you hate me while I try my hardest to get under your skin. Then inevitably, we both get tired of playing this game and you finally let me fuck you like you’ve been longing for all night.” 

He had her pinned against the door now, one of his hands resting just above her head, bracing himself as he towered over her. He smirked, running his fingers down her neck. He loved it when they were like this, how they would both pretend to not be absolutely crazy with desire for each other. It was exciting. A game of cat and mouse that had been going on for far too long.  

His long, slender fingers wrapped around her throat, the cool metal of his rings pressing against her skin. He tightened his grip ever so slightly, enjoying the soft gasp that escaped her lips.  

“You look so pretty like this.” he said, his voice low, “So pretty with my hand around your neck.” 

He dipped his head down, catching her lips in his, teeth clashing together as he roughly kissed her. He groaned into her mouth, his tongue slipping inside, their kisses becoming messy. His hands found the back of her thighs, lifting her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist.  

Hastily, he carried her over to the dressing table, putting her down on top of it, her back resting against the mirror. Y/N quickly removed her shirt, Sirius unbuttoning and sliding off her trousers as she did. He dragged her to the edge of the table, roughly spreading her legs.  

“You know you love this, don't you?” he teased, his breath hot and heavy as it fanned over her face, “You love that you’re mine.” 

Sirius’s hands were rough and unrelenting, he was unable to hold himself back, the pair of them far too eager to take it any slower.  

“Stop teasing and just fuck me already.” Y/N said, already breathless.  

Wordlessly, he shoved his jeans down, letting them hang low on his hips. He wasted no time, quickly lining himself up with her, plunging in without given her a second to adjust. A ragged moan escaped her lips, earning a smile from Sirius.  

“I’m the only one that gets to make you make those pretty noises,” he grunted, his hips snapping against hers, “No one can fuck you better than I can, can they?” 

Unable to form a coherent response, she just shook her head, her eyes screwed shut in pleasure. 

“Answer me properly.” 

“N-no.” she gasped, “No one fucks me better than you.” 

That was all the fuel he needed to keep going. He grabbed her forcefully, repositioning her so that she was bent over on the dressing table with him behind her. 

“Want you to look at yourself in the mirror,” he ordered, “Want you to see how desperate and needy you are for me, how good I make you feel.”  

His fingers wove into her hair, adjusting her head so that she had no choice but to stare at their reflection. It was like a high for him, watching her stare at herself in the mirror, taking in her bruised lips and smudged makeup. 

Sirius slammed into her, his grunts mixing with her moans as he chased his own release. He felt her clench around him and he stared thrusting harder, deeper.  

“That’s it. Look at yourself as you cum for me.” he encouraged, “such a little slut for me.” 

Y/N came with a loud moan, her body going slack. Sirius held her up against him as his thrusts got sloppy, his own orgasm quickly approaching. He groaned as he came inside her, panting as he pulled out.  

“So, when’s your next gig?”  

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

Hiii, heard u want op requests, how about an opla nami x fem reader where they get high together for the first time and heavily makeout, maybe they do like a little game where the first one to put their hands on the other loses and then at the end neither of them can keep their hands to themselves. Ty!

i literally love you

Moonlight

Pairing- Nami x reader

a/n- its not that long but i really like it 🫶🏻🫶🏻 its not too smutty but not entirely soft so enjoy (i thought about the song while i was writing)

.🍊

Looking through your lashes at the tangerine haired girl you seal the blunt with your saliva. Lighting a match you spark up inhaling the smoke travels down your throat burning in your chest.

Passing it to Nami she fiddles with it, almost unsure how to hold it. “First time?” You ask, grabbing hold of her hands, making her stiffen, and put the wood between her index and pointer finger. “Yeah.” She replies, forcing the blush away from her cheeks.

You had only recently joined the crew and Nami was interested in you, she didn’t know why but when she saw you were going out to smoke and offered it was the perfect opportunity to get to know you.

She takes a hit but doesn’t inhale coughing up a storm. Giggling, you pat her back, “It’s not gonna work if you don’t inhale.” You laugh, “Here, try it again.” You tell giving her the joint back.

“Just take a hit, breathe in really deep.” you instruct, “and hold.” she does as she’s told, taking a long hit before exhaling. The burn hits her as soon as she exhales. Once she’s done coughing she looks up at you watery eyes but a wide smile, “let me do that again.”

You and her take turns passing it back and forth. Half an hour passed and Namis' eyes became bloodshot and the more she looked at you the more her stomach fluttered and her thighs tightened . She never realized how pretty you were, how your eyes shine in the moonlight, your features illuminating your beauty, your body that of a god, articulated by the hands of creation itself.

Her mouth and lips feel incredibly dry but her panties slick with thoughts of you. “Y/N.” her voice is quiet as a mouse. She shifts up, “Wanna play a game?” Smirking, you turn your head to the side, nodding your head in agreement.

“The rules are we kiss–“

“Kiss..”

“Yes kiss but,” she says with a hint of slyness in her voice. “We have to keep our hands to ourselves. Whoever touches the other loses.”

“Okay.” You tease, pushing trying to see if she would really kiss you

Her mind was fuzzy. She didn’t know what she was doing but she crept forward leaning on her knees and pushed her lips on yours.

To your surprise she actually kissed you! You become a stoic statue statue, really you didn’t expect her to actually kiss you. But you stayed there letting her plump lips explore your own. You knew you held some feelings for Nami whether it be sexual or not you do not know yet. For right now you are feeling it, you are feeling her. You need her, you want her. She pulled away for air looking into your low eyes.

She didn’t know what to expect but she didn’t expect you to grip her waist and pull her into an aggressive kiss. She was sure her lips would be bruised in the morning but she didn’t care. She pushed harder, legs tangling with yours as you pulled each other closer.

Nibbling her bottom lip she opens her mouth to you allowing your tongue to explore her mouth. Once you pull away you’re both breathing deeply catching breath.

She smiles, licking her already wet lips. “You lose.” She says, wrapping her arm around ypur neck pulling you closer. “Oh shut up.” You say slamming your lips back to hers.

[darlingdarkly]

Fates Worse Than Death part 3

Deimos x f!reader noncon Enemies to Lovers

5.6k words

CW: noncon!elements, dubcon!elements, electrocution (non sexual), bondage, unprotected climactic pnv intercourse, threats of forced impreg, breeding kink

Part: 1, 2, 4

It was early when he left, Reveille hadn’t even blared its siren song to give rise to the base and its inhabitants. It was almost dreamlike in the way he came to you, soft and sweet in pulling you from the depths of your slumber. He left your mask on and you were grateful for it, without your sight it was easier to let the roles slip, just take it as it presented itself without the clouded lenses of your predicament.

So when he leaned down and lightly shook you awake you came up gently as the cot dipped to accommodate his weight. “I’m going, sugarcane.” You groaned and when you spoke, voice sleep strained and groggy and he saw your arms strain against the straps as you attempted to lift up and touch him made him wish to call the whole thing off, who gave a shit about meetings when he could just undo your straps, pick you up bridal style and carry you over to his bed where you belonged, lay in bed all day and make love to you over and over and over.

But it’s easy to forget the kitten has claws when she’s like this, it’d do not to forget she’s not as docile as she presents. “What time is it?” His fingers trail up your arm, the gloved pads of his digits swirling nonsensical patterns on your warm skin. “Early. 4:30. You can go back to sleep, I’ve arranged for someone to come in and help you out of your restraints and feed you, you’ll be staying up here until I return. I’ve got a surprise lined up for you later today.” He stops speaking and you feel one glove come up and smooth your hair, his thumb sweeping back and forth over the errant strands on your forehead.

“Be good for me.” You almost wish you could be but you won’t and deep down you both know you have to play the game so he says it and he means it but it doesn’t mean he believes you when you say you will. He spends a few more fleeting moments lingering in this early morning light, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your temple, one that cut through all the bullshit and made its way to the core. It was a message, a last plea, stay, be good, I know this is fucked but it could work couldn’t it? We both feel this, behind the roles and twisted implications, who gives a fuck how it started?

Then he was gone and you drifted off until Reveille woke up an entirely different woman than Deimos had kissed on his way out the door. A few minutes later someone entered the room and pulled the mask from your eyes. It was short and stocky and he looked as pissed off to see you as you were to see him. Obviously though, Deimos had had some sort of chat with him about his manners because he was on his best behavior as he carefully undid your straps.

It wasn’t time yet so you stayed compliant, sitting up on the cot and waiting for him to back away before standing and heading for the bathroom. He didn’t watch you like Deimos had as you showered but he was right outside of the door and frisked you a bit too thoroughly as you stepped out, dressed and ready for the day.

He left the room and you alone in it as he went to get breakfast for you. It was the first time you really got a good look at your surroundings. The room was double big, like it was really two rooms where the wall separating them had been knocked down. The walls were papered in deep red scroll and his bed took up the center of his section of the room. There wasn’t much else to speak of, a few dressers and a wardrobe against the far wall, a desk with a few pens in a cup on its mahogany surface. Your section of the room was even barer, just your cot and four empty walls, though they were also papered in dark red scroll.

It wasn’t long before short and stocky came back, tray in hand as he plopped it unceremoniously on the desk in Deimos’s section of the room, it didn’t topple over but the contents spilled out of their sections into each other and the juice you were meant to drink knocked over and spilled out over the wood. He looked you dead in the eye before turning and leaving.

You were glad for the way things turned out later on. You stood from the cot and made your way over to the desk, while the juice was off the table (more like all over the table) the food was still edible and after retrieving a towel from the cabinet in the bathroom and cleaning up his mess, you ate everything eagerly, you’d need every bit of it to escape. When you’d finished you knocked on the door and he came back to retrieve the tray.

“Good, you cleaned up your mess. Good to know he’s teaching you something useful other than how to take his cock.” You don’t even bother with a response, let it sink into your skin, you’ll get your licks back and they’ll be far more rewarding as actions rather than words. He isn’t quite done yet though.

“What? Nothing to say? You’re no spitfire. Whatever he sees in you is bullshit and he’ll know it soon and when he does I hope he lets me pull the trigger on you. I wanna watch the life drain from your eyes as I’m the last thing you see.” That seems to satisfy him and he leaves believing he’s the one on the high note. That's fine, let him. The morning passes slow and you try to retrace the plan in your brain, check it once, twice, three times for flaws. There is no alternative, no plan B. If this didn’t pan out your way, if anything went wrong, your goose was cooked.

It wasn’t until after lunch that you decided Deimos was probably far enough away that if something went awry it would at least take him some time to get back, enough time for you to get far enough away to have a chance at disappearing. You could link back up with rainbow after you’d meshed into the closest population dense city. Short and stocky had just left with your empty lunch tray as you bent down and pulled your paper clip free from its shoe home and unbent it to turn it into a shabby but functional lock pick. The outer doors of the facility were far too heavy duty for your little makeshift tool, but the door out of this room was all you needed unlocked for your escape.

You got up off the bed and walked to the solid wooden door, pressing your ear up against it to hear any activity on the other side. It was silent and still as far as you could tell so you bent down and set to work, carefully raking the paper clip around inside the lock mechanism to try and jostle the tumblers. It was a slow, tedious process but after a few minutes work the lock clicked and the knob turned freely.

You stepped cautiously out of the doorway and out into the hall. Short and stocky stood at the top of the stairs with his back to you, this was your chance. You strode forward with careful purpose, trying to stay as quiet as possible while moving as quickly as you could, if he saw you now it’d be a fight and one you’d probably lose.

He started to turn and you took the last few strides in a run, the element of surprise nearly lost as you pushed him with all your body weight and watched almost in slow-mo as he careened over the edge of the stairs, arms pinwheeling to prevent his fall but it was no use.

His side made first contact with the concrete stairs, producing four audible, gut wrenching cracks that seared white hot pain up his spine and knocked the air from his lungs. He continued to tumble, rolling over once, twice, and landing awkwardly on his right forearm at an acute angle. It’s there he heard another pop as his arm took the brunt of the fall and he landed in an agitated heap, screaming mad and hell bent on killing you when he got to his feet.

But before he could you were on him, the last thing he saw was your fist coming down on his temple, ironically knocking him out the very same way he’d threatened on the night of your capture and then all went dark.

You had to act quickly now, it was possible someone could have heard the commotion or would come up here for anything at any time so you stepped over him and raced down the last three flights of stairs and carefully made your way across the sky deck, head once again bent between your knees.

Entering the main building you had to act quickly, it was imperative that you avoided being seen until you changed, you were the only person on base wearing a skin tight jumpsuit and everyone would know you’d escaped upon first glance. Ducking into a particular side room you’d eyed the last time you’d made this trek with Deimos, you found what you were looking for.

It was an old supply room, dusty and mostly unused it was full of stores of toilet paper and cleaning supplies, a stack of desks, a few empty filing cabinets and what you came here for. In a box on the floor, a sight you gazed upon by chance after a soldier stepped in for a rack of toilet paper as you were passing by and stored away for this particular moment, was a pile of old uniforms. They were musty and it took you three separate sets to find ones that weren’t either covered in mildew or faded and the ones you finally settled on were about two sizes too big but they’d do.

You slipped them on over your clothes, you couldn’t risk another soldier dipping in for toilet paper and wanted to leave as soon as possible to avoid either short and stocky waking up or someone coming across him. This was a mistake you came to regret later, but hindsight is always 20/20.

You strode out of the supply closet in no rush, a patrol cap pulled down low over your eyes as you casually but briskly made your way towards the doors of the facility. You depressed the bar on one of the heavy metal doors and pushed out into the warm air. You surveyed the outer compound with scrutiny and found everyone tucked into tight groups, no lone wolves, which meant if you were going to get out of here without being singled out immediately you had to blend.

You spotted a set of soldiers by the gate, rifles in hand and more than likely headed for the gun range you’d heard but never had seen. You walked out with purpose and snagged two empty ammo cans from a stack by the wall and stuck yourself in the group, making sure to linger around the back so as not to draw too much unwanted attention.

The platoon leader called attention and you snapped to, the action just as much instinct as it was disguise. When he calls forward march you begin to move, keeping pace with the group and keeping your head down. You pass under the gate with the weight of nervous anticipation balancing precariously on your shoulders, expecting at any moment the call to halt from above but it never came and you marched out past it and onto a trail through the woods without hiccup.

When the gates were too far back and concealed by foliage to see you dropped off from the group, simply sliding behind a tree until their footfalls became too distant to hear. You left the ammo cans behind and sprinted out into the trees. From what you could remember there was nothing for miles around, just endless forest but you knew there was a little town about twenty miles south and if you could keep up a relative jog you could make it there just after nightfall.

You took a few glances back to make sure you weren’t being trailed but all you could see was empty forest. Your heart pounded with excitement but you knew better than to let it get the better of you, there was still much danger ahead and endless-

Your muscles locked up violently, legs stopping mid step and freezing as white hot pain zapped down your neck, coursing through your spine and consuming you from within. You called out involuntarily, a guttural pained scream that started and seemed to never end until all your breath was expelled and it died out in a hoarse croak. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stand, couldn’t move and you heard the wail of a siren sound back in the direction of the base.

You stretched an arm out in the direction of safety, willing your body to crawl towards it with the last of your might, but it stayed put in stubborn defiance. The sight of the pines swaying in the wind, their dark green needles seeming to reach out for you was the last thing you saw before darkness stole over you.

When you wake it’s like waking in a dream, a dream you've dreamt before, fundamentally the same but different slightly. The pain is back, though then it was head driven, a throb radiating almost solely from your cranium but this is different. This feels like static but everywhere. Your nerves are shot to shit, jittery and fried, your fingers and toes tingle and there’s a metallic taste in your mouth.

You try to take in your surroundings when the feeling finally subsides a bit, fading out from forefront surround sound until it’s just background noise at best, though it still roars in and out of focus. It’s the same room you’d woken up in the night you were captured, only this time instead of tied kneeling to a padded platform you’re tied to a table, face up and completely naked, arms hoisted up past your head and secured to the northern legs of the table. Your body is stretched out across the top, eyes up skyward looking at the dingy ceiling. Your legs are spread, each tied to a seperate southern table leg to keep them that way, your ass is pulled to the edge of the table and as you crane your head south you can see him watching you from between your spread legs.

It was you who broke the silence first. “We can’t keep meeting like this.” He comes up and stands between your legs and he makes it obvious by the crane of his head that his eyes are trailing up every inch of your body, taking in the sights and landmarks along the path to your eyes before he even speaks.

“Cute. You think now's the time for jokes, eh?” You try to not think about what comes next. You’re naked, which means you’re probably not going to die just yet but it doesn’t mean he won't cut you down at any time past this point, maybe he was just waiting for you to be awake. Your only solace is that short and stocky won’t get to pull the trigger on you, you made sure of that.

“Just couldn’t be good for me, could you?” You flinch as his hand glides up your thighs to palm your hip, the padding gripping the flesh rather roughly. “What did you expect?” And he can’t help but feel pride under all the disappointment because you’re still cocky and fierce as all hell even tied to a table and completely at his mercy, and there’s something in that that makes his combat pants just a bit too snug for his liking.

“Not for you to put Vasquez in the infirmary with four cracked ribs and a fractured ulna.” You scoffed. “If I disappointed you then I’m soooo sorry but one thing I’m not sorry for is anything that happened to that fucking asshole, he got what he deserved and you’re lucky he’s in the hospital and not the morgue.”

“Don’t be sarcastic with me. You’re already in deep fucking shit.” And his use of curse words make you flinch, you can only recall a handful of times he’d cursed and never had he done it in anger but it doesn’t change anything. If he was pissed off then good, so were you.

“The shock collar was a low blow. Kinda barbaric don’t you think?”

“Worked though, didn’t it? I knew you’d run eventually. It’s ok, I’m not mad. It’s only in your nature.” The way he says it piques something in the back of your mind but he glosses right over it, almost like he’s speaking to himself.

“It did cut my meeting short but that really could have been an email anyway. But you know terrorist organizations, always wary of the digital footprint. You’re not off the hook though. Violent outbursts, escape attempts, lies. Ohh you’ve got a lot to atone for.” He gave your hip a painful squeeze but you held your tongue against the groan it threatened to elicit. When he stopped you felt it safe to speak.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He moves away from you and somehow feel less secure with him wandering about the room than if he’d stood put beside you. You vaguely hear the shuffle of papers and your heart stops when you hear him call out your full name.

“Standard checkups, vaccination records, routine physicals, psych evals, two hospitalizations, one for an apparent appendectomy the other outpatient surgery for the removal of shrapnel from your abdomen and left thigh.” You tensed as he read you your medical file and your breath hitched as he called out the last procedure on the list.

“Ahhh and last but not least an IUD procedure completed just two months ago.” You started to get angry, the familiar heat of it almost comforting. Almost.

“You scalped my file?!”

“You’re not the only one with friends in low places, sweetheart.”

You considered it momentarily but was still unsure what it changed or why it mattered. “So what? It’s not a pill, I didn’t lie to you I just withheld some truth, what the fucks it matter?”

“So what is you didnt fucking tell me.” And there was the cursing again and this time it was punctuated with a loud bang as he drove his fist into the metal table your file had been resting on. You’re unsure why he’s angry, could he really believe you had some kind of rapport? It seemed like he did, and maybe that’s when it all snaps into place for you, this isn’t some elaborate psychological tactic, it’s not a ruse. He genuinely is keeping you just to have you for himself and it's then you realize you won’t die, there’s never been any danger of death. He’s not keeping you out of spite, you can’t annoy him enough to end you. It doesn’t matter how many times you run away he will drag you back to heel like some kind of wild dog because he’s just insane enough to try and tame you.

“So now.. I have to figure out what to do with you.” He walks back towards you and you can feel his eyes on you, making your skin erupt with gooseflesh, he walks up the side of the table and brushes the side of your face with the palm of his hand, lightly cupping it. You stare up into the obsidian lenses of his mask, unsure how to act. You can’t see his eyes but just know somehow past those black panes he’s staring down at you so tenderly and the weight of that fact sits uncomfortably on your chest.

After a moment he speaks again. “Since you’re so desperate for release, you’ll get none. I need you to understand your actions have consequences and I will see to it personally that you learn.”

After a moment you understand he means to fuck you again and shortly after that the innuendo dawns on you as well and you just laugh. “What the fuck makes you think I’ll do anything you say?”

“You want incentive? How about if you’re good and you take your punishment like a good girl, I’ll see to it that you get some training, opportunities to stretch your legs a bit? Obviously you’re restless, pent up animalistic tendencies, I can understand that. If you’re good, I’ll make it happen.”

The fucking audacity of him to think you’ll accept treats for parlor tricks. Like some kind of dog you’ll just roll over for belly pats. “Screw you! You bastard! Let me fucking go!”

And then his hand goes from stroking your cheek to gripping it, the thumb digging into the soft flesh of your cheek while the rest of his fingers line your jaw, pursing your lips together and preventing any more lip.

“Not enough for ya? You wanna act like a brat? Fine. How about this? Either you do as I say or I’ll take you down to the infirmary. The IUD procedure is simple enough and so is the removal.”

Your eyes widen and even through the grip he’s got on your maw you threaten him, eyes burning up at him like hot coals. He can feel the heat. “You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

“Ohh, I think you’d be surprised at the things I’d dare. If I feel you so much as twitch around my cock I’ll have them take it out and then we’ll see about starting our own little family together, huh? I’ve always wanted to be a dad but have just never found the time to get around to it, better late than never though, right? I mean, surely you’re confident enough in your fertility to justify the need for protection, I’m sure you’ll make a fine mother. Whaddaya say, sugarcane? How’s your maternal instincts?”

You struggle in the bonds and slip out of his grip, pulling viciously at the ropes but they just cut harder into your skin, the harsh woven fibers biting voraciously into your flesh. “No! Don’t you fucking dare!”

He regains purchase, this time around your throat and he can feel your pulse beating wildly, even through his glove. “Then do as I say.”

You stop struggling, for one because the ropes feel like they’re starting to draw blood and two because he’s let you go in favor of drawing down towards the southern end of the table. Fingers tracing lightly down your side and then back up the other until his fingers skim along the soft length of your inner thighs and you’re left hanging in anticipation as he spreads your thighs further apart to slot himself between them as they travel higher and higher.

The pads of his fingers find your clit and press ever so slightly over the bundle of nerves, drawing lazy circles over it and you can’t help the tensing of your muscles, the way your eyes squeeze shut as you fight the sensation. He plays with it, unrelenting until your arousal starts to well up around the edges of your slit, his fingers drawing down to gather it and spread it generously around.

You inhale sharply as your nipples pebble, hard and aching to be touched. He notices and brings the hand not driving you slowly into madness up to pinch one and roll it between his index and thumb. Your back arches and his fingers leave your breast to encircle your neck, squeezing the sides lightly to capture your attention.

When your eyes fall on him he speaks, and you can hear the apparent arousal in the gravel of his voice, hear the way his eagerness bleeds through, pining to have you again. “Show me you can practice restraint. Show me your self discipline. Don't disappoint me, soldier.”

His fingers push into you slightly for the first time and the edges of your vision blur as your mouth falls open at the dubiously welcomed intrusion. You didn’t need to see his eyes to know they were locked on yours watching your reactions with careful scrutiny. “Be good for me.”

He pulls out just as fast as he’d pushed in and then he’s gone for a moment, you hear him easing out of his tac pants just enough to pull his cock free and you close your eyes, willing your mind to relax and resist. But when he nudges up to you with the head of his cock, flicking it through the part of your sex and coating it in your slick heat you wonder just how much resolve you have in you.

He leans down over you as he pushes into you in one fluid thrust and you moan with him, unable to stifle it, the sweet ache intoxicating. “Fuck.”

He doesn’t give you time to adjust or catch your breath, just uses you with little to no care for how you fare it. His thrusts even out into a steady rhythm as his hands find purchase on the table you’re tied to and something about feeling him thrust up into you without any other contact, the push and pull of his cock without the feel of his hands on you has your eyes rolling back in your head until you have to squeeze them shut to try and regain the reins of your sanity.

You try and weather the storm, really try to focus on anything other than the devastating drive of his hips but it’s almost impossible. And then you feel his thumb over your clit again and your eyes fly open as the sensation makes you clench around him involuntarily, your arms pull at the ropes, desperate to push his hands away because if he keeps it up you’re not gonna make it.

And then he starts to speak. “You did this to us. Could’ve come back and taken my time with you, could’ve been good and I’d have spent all night just like this, fucked you good and raw til you screamed my name but you had to try. Had to test my patience.”

You try and block out the words, shake your head back and forth to try and not hear him but you can’t and it just adds fuel to the flame and he notices but doesn’t relent. He can tell by the shake of your thighs and the way you’re digging your nails into the palms of your own hands that you’re struggling to cope. He picks up speed a bit and your mouth drops open, prompting a sweet low moan to escape and he wishes he’d blindfolded you before he started because all he wants to do is drink up every single sound before it has a chance to leave your throat, swallow them down to keep them all to himself.

You’re gripping him so sweetly, the clutch of your pussy unlike anything he’d felt in a long, long time and he’d be damned if he’d give you up now. There’s not a thing on this planet that could separate the two of you, not even you. He’d love to see you try, really truly try to keep him from you. He’d never stop, never stop clawing his way back into your life no matter how hard you ran. He’d always find you, in this life and the next.

He can feel it too, the effect he’s having on you. He can feel it in the way your pussy clenches around him, can hear it in your back talk and banter, he knows you’re doomed, even if you don’t and he’s gonna enjoy every second of your downfall, every little slip of your grasp of sanity and reality until the only thing left is him.

His thrusts get particularly heavy, hips punctuating his point as he growls down from above you. “You will be mine.” You’ve lost, you know it. You try and fight it but he’s hitting it so good, cock dragging over that spot that makes your toes curl, there’s no escape and no relief and he knows just what he’s doing. Can feel your ruination coming to fruition and you’re so fucked.

You want to beg, beg him for forgviness, beg him for mercy but you can’t, it’ll just fall on deaf ears and something about it is just too compromising for your pride. Why should you let him know he’s getting to you? Why should you have to kneel at his feet? You’re supposed to be a warrior, a force to be reckoned with, an oddity among women and men for that matter but you’re so fucking close and he knows it and it’s killing you.

“Is it hard, sugarcane? Bet you’re so fucking close. Bet you wanna come for me don’t you?” And he leans in close, pelvis grinding down against you as he keeps up your ruination. His tall frame dwarfs yours and you sigh in relief as his hand finally ceases its assault on your clit to come up and seat itself against the back of your neck, pulling your head up and drawing your forehead against his as his other hand abandons the table for a grip on your hip, pulling you down against him as he thrusts up into you, making the sensation just that much more unbearable, making you cry out just that much louder. He dips down to whisper close against your lips, like he’s about to impart some great secret and he doesn’t want to risk allowing the rest of the room to hear it, empty or not, the shell of his mask so, so close.

“Do it. Let me make you mine in the most ultimate of ways. I’ll take such good care of you and the baby, I swear. Come for me and we’ll start all over.”

You’re quite nearly delirious, holding onto the last of your resolve with bloody fingers. It takes everything in you not to come around his cock, the way it fills you completely, hot and hard is going to be the death of you, or rather the birth of a new you but you can’t. You can’t bare this monsters offspring, he’s a goddamn terrorist for fucks sake and so you hold off until you feel you’re ripping apart at the seams.

You want to succeed but it’s slipping and you’d almost given in to the defeat when he finally comes, you feel it, thick and heavy in you and by god’s mercy he stills and you sob with relief. Chest heaving as your pussy spasms in protest around him. Sweat and tears streak your face as you let out shaky breaths to try and regain your composure. He pulls out and rubs his hands up your body, starting at your hips and gliding up your sides until he’s working at the knot holding your hands above your head.

You feel the ropes loosen but are too overwhelmed to do more than shift them down a bit to alleviate the ache in your shoulders. He says nothing as he comes around the side of the table and scoops you up off of it, pulling you into his chest and cradling you close. You can’t fight him, don’t have the strength so you just rest your head against him and let him carry you all the way out the door.

You shift to get comfortable in his arms as he makes two lefts, and then a right. Closing your eyes and breathing deeply as he climbs two flights of stairs and crosses the sky deck. Burying your head in his chest while he mounts the last four flights before you feel him gently deposit you onto a surface far too comfortable to be the cot.

Only then do you look up at your surroundings. “Bet you didn’t even stay long enough to see my surprise, did you?” His surprise is a queen sized bed, since you’ve been gone it’s been brought in, assembled and made. While it’s nothing fancy, having been carefully checked over with a fine toothed comb for anything that could aid you in another escape attempt, it was very lavish for someone being held prisoner, though you know he doesn’t exactly see you as that even if you still do.

There’s an awkward moment where neither of you knows quite what to say, for some bizarre reason you can’t explain there’s an apology waiting on the tip of your tongue. You won’t say it but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. He reaches up past your head to the metal headboard and pulls down a new set of restraints, they’re long and give you a bit of range as to how much you can move but they’re still restraints.

After you put on another white tee from the seemingly endless supply he has for you, he takes your hands and silently puts on the leather cuffs, securing them. His touch lingers on your wrists even after he’s finished and you feel like he’s about to say something but he doesn’t, just pulls your mask from its place and pulls it down over your eyes. You lie back and get comfortable as he moves away from the bed and undresses.

You listen to the familiar sounds of him sliding into bed and then the room stills and you drift off, until Reveille wakes you in the morn.

[luvhughes43]

say yes to heaven (track one) | tz11 x reader

cruel world [masterlist]🕊

word count: 2.1k

Rolling Stone

Date: June 28th, 2023

Growing up, Yn Ln always dreamt that she would become a singer. Her inspirations were figures well beyond her years, taking inspiration from the likes of great artists from decades past. Her melancholic style became instantly notable when she first hit the scene a few short weeks ago with her debut single, video games. Of course, none of her earlier works can be found on streaming services anymore, but her style has remained consistent over the years as she now releases her debut album in 2023. 

interviewer: Yn, your album “Cruel World” has become an instant cult classic for music reviewers and fans alike. But what everyone really wants to know is what, and who, inspired you?

Yn laughs lightly, rubbing her palms on her jeans before she starts talking.

Yn Ln: It was [pause].. it was a long process. I was inspired by my real life [another pause] and my friends' lives. A lot of things went into creating the album. I’ve spent years working on it. 

interviewer: Are you aware of the rumours surrounding the album? That every song is about an ex of yours? Trevor I think his name is?

Yn tenses briefly at the mention of her ex and swipes her palms against her jeans once more.  

Yn Ln: Like I said, the album was inspired by things I've gone through. I don’t feel the need to put names to songs.

She laughs lightly trying to ease the tension of the room.

Interviewer: Well, regardless, Cruel World is an amazing album.

Yn smiled politely, taking a sip of her coffee.

when yn hughes first laid her eyes on trevor zegras, she felt a spark. when she went to bed that night she didn’t dream about her favourite characters, or books, she didn’t even create perfect little scenarios. no, she fell asleep to thoughts of her brothers best friend. his soft hair, the way he glided the puck across the ice, his smile and enthusiasm when his team did well… yn hughes was doomed from the start. 

‘cause ive got my mind on you

i’ve got my mind on you

you didn't actually meet trevor face to face till a week after first seeing him. your twin, Jack, had invited him and a few other friends over to the house for the day. you laid in bed, eyes closed listening to all the commotion below before you decided to go downstairs and greet everyone. 

when you finally made your way to the group, you stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs. the wood chilly as you watched your brother and his friends play fight. 

“I’m trevor!” one of the boys beamed as he stepped away from the group of rowdy boys. 

you smiled softly in response as trevor ruffled his hair. “i’m yn-”

“jacks twin! right, i've heard so much about you! you know, i always wondered if it was true that twins had like, intuition? Is that a thing?” trevor rambled, his words fast and inquisitive, a habit which presented itself quite frequently. 

you laughed, nodding in the small breaks of trevors words as he kept talking about twins and their behaviours he had apparently heard about. 

when he finally stopped his speech, yn answered his first of many questions. “i mean i dont know about intuition but…” 

“trev!” jack called, “get over here, stop talking to yn!”. he was shaking an xbox controller, gesturing for trevor to come join their group of friends who were lounging on the sofa ready to play. 

“but he always seems to pick up on when i'm having a good time” you smiled cheekily. 

trevors face burned red and he rubbed at his neck absentmindedly as he looked you up and down. you watched his eyes trail, and you had never felt so giddy in all of your life. butterflies fluttered in your stomach until trevor broke away from you. 

“Ill uh- ill.. i’ll see you around,” trevor finished lamely, clearly feeling the same giddiness you felt as he sharply turned away from you and sat next to your brother. you stood in your spot for another second, watching as trevor tried to hide his smile from your brother. 

the house was quiet as you made your way into your kitchen for a glass of water. you had fallen after working on some music and you woke up dazed and a little confused.

you open the fridge, the little light partially illuminating the kitchen. a figure moves out of the darkness causing you to jump and let out a little shriek. 

your breathing speeds up, one of your hand coming to rest over your mouth as trevor steps into the light of the fridge. 

“Its just me!” trevor says, voice hoarse with sleep. he lays a had on your shoulder, watching you with wide eyes as you try to calm yourself down.

“what are you doing here?” you asked breathlessly as your breathing started to slow. “uh your parents let me and a few other guys stay over tonight” trevor explained, hand still resting on your shoulder.

“what? when?” trevors hand falls from your shoulders and moves to brush through his hair. 

“after dinner. you were up in your room playing… the guitar was it? It sounded really nice”

“thanks…” your face heated and you were so glad that you hadn't decided to turn the kitchen light on. 

“what were you working on anyway?” trevor changed the subject as he opened the fridge and pulled out a jug of milk.

your nose crinkled as he grabbed his discarded cup and poured himself a glass. “oh you know,” you shrugged your shoulders. you didn’t know why you did it but you never wanted to talk about your music. with all your brother's talents and successes, you felt that you choosing music was an embarrassment to your family even though you knew at heart that it wasn’t true. 

trevor must have picked up on your hesitancy so he shrugged, bringing his glass of milk to his lips as he took another swig. 

“milk?” you questioned, and trevor held the glass out for you to take.

“want some?” he asked, tilting the glass towards you.

“definitely not”

“it makes your bones strong and stuff, you should try it” 

“Trevor i've drank milk before,” you say sarcastically.  

“well yeah but like, you know what i mean” 

you rolled your eyes playfully, “okay fine give me the glass,” you reached your hand out and trevor passed his cup to you. you peered into the cup.

“its just milk it's not gonna hurt you” trevor laughed as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. 

you tentatively took a sip and when you finished you passed the glass back to trevor. 

“how was it?” “gross”

“yeah okay,” trevor rolled his eyes, leaning his head back as he finished the rest of the glass. 

you reached past trevors shoulder, grabbing a glass to fill with water. 

“well, im going to go to bed,” trevor nods to you as he sets his now empty glass in the sink. 

“goodnight,” you respond as you fill your glass.

“yah night,” trevor walks out of the kitchen and you watch him leave.

what the hell was that? you whisper to yourself, downing the rest of your water before heading to bed yourself. 

the next few weeks followed similarly. you and trevor would have these weird random moments, and you would both awkwardly smile at each other and move on with your days. that was until the boys decided to have a bonfire now that your parents were out of town to celebrate the start of the summer. 

you felt the warm heat of the fire on your legs as you sat near the pit with your friend. you watched absentmindedly as trevor talked to his friends before you felt the weight of your friend's hand on your shoulder. 

“you know yn, if you want him that badly then…” you whipped your head around at your friends words.

“what?” your eyes were wide in shock. you hadn’t told anybody about your growing feelings for trevor. 

“I’m just saying you’re not being really secretive…”

“he's my brother's best friend” you shrugged, your eyes drifting from your friend and back to the boy in question. He was nursing a beer he had somehow managed to sneak past his own parents.

“okay… what does that have to do with anything? hes hot” your friend shrugs. 

“hes also jacks teammate it just, it wouldn't work out the way i’d want it to” you expressed your reasons on why you couldn't date trevor and it sounded more ridiculous each time. you knew you wanted to be with him, and honestly, jack wasn't what you were worried about. you were more worried of the possible rejection. sure you and trevor had spent time together and talked. but majority of that time was when the two of you were alone. what if trevor doesn't want anything more than the private meetups? 

“how do you want it to work out?”

you fiddled with your hands, ignoring your friends question.

“he clearly likes you though, if that's what you're worried about” you hummed in response, lazily turning your head to look at trevor again. He smiled at you when he caught you looking. you didn't have the energy to look away. you knew then that you'd rather be rejected then not with him at all. 

let the fear you have fall way

i’ve got my eye on you

i’ve got my eye on you

say yes to heaven

say yes to me

“trev!” you hear jack call from across the fire pit, “can you go get us more marshmallows?” the boy easily agrees as he stands up from his lawn chair and begins to make his way inside. 

“Yn im thirsty!” your friend quickly says, pushing you up and off your seat. “can you get me a root beer?” she pleads, causing your brothers and his friends to shift their attention to the two of you. you quickly catch on to what she's doing, and you nod with enthusiasm. 

“does anyone else want something?” you ask the group as you slowly back away. Jack asks for water, and you nod before following Trevor into your house. 

the house was silent as the two of you worked your way around the kitchen. just as trevor was about to make his way back outside again, you stopped him. your hand tugged on his wrist and he was turning back to face you.

“trevor,” you breathed out, a little shocked at your sudden courage.

“yn,” he whispered back. you could hear the faint sound of the fire crackling and everyone's laughter out in the backyard.

it felt magnetic, the pull that brought your lips up to meet his. the kiss was soft and innocent. something that could easily be explained away as a spur of the moment thing. you refused to let it.

“yn,” trevor whispered again, this time painfully.

“trevor,” you were hopeful. 

he kissed you again, one of his hands coming down to settle on your waist as your arm wrapped itself around his neck. 

when you both pulled apart, trevor rested his forehead against yours, his breath slowing down as you both relaxed. 

“we cant do this,” trevor said almost regretfully as his head turned at the sound of your brothers loud voice teasing cole. 

“we can do whatever we want” you replied, ignoring all the background noise.

“jacks your twin. he's my teammate. my best friend. i can't just-”

“say yes to me” you blurted and your face heated up instantly. 

“It's not that easy-”

“yes it is. trevor just say yes to me and we can figure out what to do with jack later,” 

trevor seemed unsure of what to say for the first time. 

“What's taking you so long! damn!” jacks voice pops the bubble you and trevor had built not even a minute earlier. 

“sorry i couldn't find the marshmallows,” trevor mumbles, stepping away from you and towards your brother. 

“why didn’t you help hin y/n? don't be rude” your brothers voice seemed to pierce the quiet of the kitchen.

“he didn’t want me to help,” you replied quietly, reaching behind you for the water bottle jack had asked for earlier. 

“well that was stupid. she literally lives here z she knows where everything is,” jack responded cluelessly.

“Yeah, right, my bad” trevor nodded along with his words as he watched jack reach into a corner cabinet to retrieve a bag of marshmallows. 

I’ll put my red dress on, get it on

and if you fight, i’ll fight

it doesn’t matter, now its all gone

i got my mind on you

ynhughes

liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, yourbff, and others

ynhughes ❤️

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yourbff hottest bff ever🤤

ynhughes love u

jackhughes “❤️”

ynhughes if u dont leave me alone…

[insta dms]

trevorzegras: I’m sorry about that night

trevorzegras: I just don't want jack mad at me yk? I do really like you and I shouldn't have just left things like that

ynhughes: what are you trying to say?

trevorzegras: That i'm saying yes to you

trevorzegras: and that i’m sorry

present day

ynhughes

liked by lhughes_06, colecaufield, yourbff, and others

ynhughes say yes to heaven, mv out now❤️ i love u all so much

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yourbff im crying real tears i love you so so much

ynhughes i love u more forever

fan01 just listened to say yes to heaven for the first time and it's soo beautiful

fan02 love you so much yn

liked by ynhughes

lhughes_06 very cool

[sylvies-chen]

okay I’ve refrained from posting my thoughts on the ted lasso finale until now in the interest of making sure they’re expressed properly so that people understand how correct my opinions actually are. but I’m here and I’m queer and LET’S DO IT FOLKS:

TED LASSO FINALE THOUGHTS

THE GOOD:

Nate!! Nate was a timid, sweet note in this episode. It was such a gentle little reintegration of his character back into the team and seeing him get a secure happy ending after all that time of insecurity was the part of the episode that provided the MOST payoff. Seeing Nick Mohammed’s post about Nate and his family life and understanding how much he put into that character was so beautiful to see too. I adore actors who very publicly (and in a nerdy way) love their craft!

His conversation with Ted also made me cry like I have never cried before.

COLIN KISSED HIS FELLA AFTER A WIN!! Ugh such a beautiful payoff and full circle moment for him, I was truly squealing with joy <3

The team’s rendition of So Long, Farewell had me GIGGLINGGG oh my god, I’m a die hard Sound of Music fan so I loved it! I would have maybe liked a little more emotion from Ted, I felt like his reaction was kind of… meh? meek? but other than that the song itself was FANTASTIC.

Obviously I love that they won the game, duh

They also had a lot of really amazing and thoughtful callbacks in this episode, like Keeley’s parallel to her entrance in the pilot was great, Ted’s bbq sauce mantra, Nate leaping into Ted’s arms, the ussie guy, the winning play being the play from season 1. All of those little moments showed a strong attention to detail I truly loved.

I love that Rupert made HIMSELF unlikeable in the end. Rebecca didn’t need to ruin his life; she stopped caring and soon saw he was doing a perfectly fine job of doing it himself. Karma truly is Rebecca Welton’s boyfriend!! Or is it?

Jake the motherfucking client seducer over here turning out to be a total dud like yesss!! I don’t want Ted and Michele back together by any means but fuck that guy lol, glad to see she and Henry were getting sick of him

BELIEVE. 😭

Which leads me to…

THE BAD:

I know you all know I ship Tedbecca, but this is truly not coming from a shipper standpoint when I say that that first scene of them was absolute BAIT. It was pretty disappointing because I know Ted Lasso’s been prone to red herrings and fakeouts every now and then but I didn’t take it as a show that would truly bait their fans with something like that??

I don’t care if I’m biased, I don’t care if the writers were trying to be avant-garde with their ending for rebecca, I’ll say what I’m about to say a million times: writing off 1 of your 2 most main characters into a happy ending with a man whose name the audience doesn’t even know is literally never a good writing decision. I think this should be obvious.

I have no hate to Boat Guy, Rebecca’s whole thing with him was basically the plot of Before Sunrise + Before Sunset (all hail Richard Lanklater) if someone watched those movies and then tried condensing them into fifteen accumulated minutes of television

Keeley, Roy, Jamie… they did you three so fucking dirty my babes. Keeley you especially. I’m beyond disappointed, bordering on genuinely hurt, by how much they screwed up Keeley and all of her adjacent storylines this season.

I loved RoyKeeley so much in seasons 1 and 2, they had such a sweetness and a magic to them. There were so many elements like that to season 1 and 2 that I feel the writers gave up on in the name of growth or… honestly, at this point, I don’t know why they did this. Roy was a little insecure in seasons 1 and 2, but I never felt like he was needy. It felt so cruel to have shown us RoyKeeley in all of these moments of such stability, such healthiness, and such genuine love for so long and then rip it away for some version of Roy Kent that felt hollow, twisted, and who just Did Not Get It. It makes me so sad.

It makes me sad for Jamie too. Him falling for Keeley again was like the last thing I needed to see from his character. There’s so much else they could have done with him, and instead they took that beautiful moment of him being accountable and respectful with Keeley and the tape, and they turned it into something ugly: they had him weaponize it as a bargaining chip against Roy.

I don’t understand why they thought having our favs engaged in this very sexist outdated convo with such possessive language in the name of comedy was a good idea. I get it was poking fun at them but it was the kind of fun that shouldn’t have to be poked at by now. They’re not these men, I don’t recognize this version of them. It’s such a regression.

speaking of weird and uncomfortable shit being played off for laughs… beard and jane got married! ted wasn’t even there! she shredded his passport to keep him in captivity! how creepy! (see the joke is that they’re crazy and do toxic things to each other. you’re supposed to laugh.)

[blondedmuse]

JUST FOR TONIGHT

bradley “rooster” bradshaw x reader

synopsis. ꩜ you learn how bradley truly feels about you.

author's note. ∿ wow look whose writing again! this also has no editing because i’m so tired and wrote this in 30 minutes

word count. ⨾ idk a lot

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It’s the middle of a the night and you found yourself wide awake and held tightly in strong arms. You should be tired and you should be asleep but the heartbeat of the man behind you has kept you wide awake.

He’d ended up in your bed more often than not in the past few months and you in his. It’s a game you didn’t know you were playing, tip-toeing around each other to see who would fold first.

It was usually you, and you’d take him home with no regrets that night but then once he was gone by morning there was always a sour taste left in your mouth.

It lingered because you were yearning for something more—something you weren’t sure Bradley wanted. While he took you out from time to time, you continued to tell yourself you were just friends; with benefits of course.

There were lines that you established neither of you were meant to cross, yet it’s as if those boundaries were made to be broken.

So now you lay wide awake contemplating where you stand and what this means for the both of you. You tilt you head so you can see Bradley and you don’t think the thoughts of your present have ever once occurred to him. Maybe they have but it’s not worth the headache, especially at four in the morning.

So carefully, you slip from the hold of his arms and off the bed and head to the living room, taking your acoustic guitar with you. You settle on your couch with the hopes that music will serve as a sufficient distraction and your fingers drift to the chords of I Love You So by The Walters.

The song is quiet enough to keep him from his wake and you sing the words just above a whisper. Halfway through the song you almost forgot Bradley was in your bedroom—almost.

The truth is the moment you’d left the room and your side of the bed was cold, he woke up. He’d slowly been growing accustomed to your body in his arms as he fell asleep, which he damned himself for because it was never meant to happen. It was never meant to happen because why would you feel that same? You were just friends, right?

Still he woke up looking around the room for your figure and as soon as he heard a voice he realized maybe he didn’t have to search far. It wasn’t long before he noticed you were singing, to which he then realized he’d never heard before. He’d always wanted to ask you to play something for him, to hear your voice to the tune of one of your favorite songs and now he had the chance.

He walked downstairs as quietly as he could which proved itself to be not quiet enough as you turned around to see him standing at the bottom of your stairs.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” You asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t mind.” he sighed before thinking of the right words to say.

“I’d like it if you kept going.”

You hesitated before nodding to the spot next to you on the couch. “Don’t you have training tomorrow? I just- I think you should get some sleep. Proper sleep.”

“I’ll be fine. I’d rather you sing me to sleep anyways,” He told you, shifting his position so that he was lying down.

“Please?” He asked and how could you say no?

“Alright,” You agreed and your fingers started once again. Going for something slower, you started playing John Wayne by Cigarettes After Sex, singing along like you had done earlier.

Once you finished the song you were sure he was out like a light with his eyes closed and breathing slowed, and you were stuck in this awkward position once again. Before you could get up however, the sound of his voice left you frozen.

“I hope you know I love your voice. Love it almost just as much as I love you,” He rasped.

Your brows cinched together and you heart stopped momentarily. Did Bradley just say he loves you? You looked to him again to see his eyes flutter open, searching your face for any kind of reaction.

“You don’t have to say anything Y/N, I just wanted to tell you. But if anything, I do want you to stay with me. Just for tonight?”

You obliged, setting your guitar down on the coffee table in front of you and lying down next to Bradley, allowing him to hold your once again and you allowed his warmth to consume you like a love.

You knew you would talk about this tomorrow morning, but for now you could only hope it wasn’t just for tonight.

[miswaken]

would also just like to say that I obviously love alice as a character, and I very much do not think she is an inherently bad / manipulative / abusive person — which is unfortunately a take I see pop up in the tags from time to time. yes, lying to alan to get him to bright falls for therapy was wrong of her and she knows that. but I think it’s important to remember that the first game takes place after years of alan being a depressed, self-destructive, and occasionally violent (not with alice of course but still) addict. that doesn’t make what she did right, but she’s human and flawed and was very likely at the end of her rope. the bright falls ballad section of herald of darkness flat out says that alice was drowning under the weight of alan’s worst traits and if he’d noticed and addressed it himself maybe this never would’ve happened. the song also says the trip was the last shot at saving their marriage. things were bad! and I think it’s deeply unfair to pin all of it on her like she was some evil uncaring wife who just wanted to institutionalize him and be done with it. and honestly I think it’s also a bad read to assume that she didn’t try to get him help in less direct ways before that, which he probably refused?

similarly, I have to assume she tried other things before the “make him think I’m dead so he hits rock bottom and finally accepts the worst of himself” plan. there’s six years between when the hauntings start and when alice jumps into the lake. you really think she didn’t exhaust all other ideas before that? based on barry’s emails she jumps sometime in the spring of 2023 and the game takes place in september. so again that’s a couple months of attempts before we see the game loop, and considering dark place time isn’t real that’s gods know how many loops of trial and error before we get to these ones that finally work. I don’t think there’s any reason to believe that the fakeout suicide was her first and only method of guiding alan.

I could write an essay about the “voyeuristic and manipulative” (ty sam lake for using the words I’ve been using lol) nature of alice’s role in the story and how it reflects the very nature of her artistic medium itself. and I do think there’s an element of her being desensitized to the Horrors a bit and she’s definitely tunnel visioned trying to get this right. but again, this is last ditch desperation at play. she’s navigating these horrible life situations and literal nightmare scenarios as best she can while trying to drag alan out of his hole at the same time. and while her handling of it all might not be perfect she is a haunted woman with problems of her own who is simply trying her best!!

[vargskelegore]

okay wait—shuri and reader at a college party??

STOPPP OKAY WAIT this has always been on my mind... what if it was a 90s THEMED COLLEGE HOUSE PARTY!!!!! LIKE WHAT!!!!

i’m currently writing this headcanon while listening to let the beat hit ‘em by lisa lisa & cult jam and crush on you by lil kim ft. lil cease & biggie.... but my other playlist is a great example of what i think would be played at this party: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3aVTa1pDTD4dUcUPcgQJY8?si=bcb0cd1b5c64493a

again, i switch between 2nd and 3rd person when i do headcanons. so sorry if its confusing!! and as always, this is black reader.

imagine reader is getting her the perfect outfit for it tho..

reader is a cheapskate and would absolutely take her to the thrift store

tbh reader just like me fr

anyways the perfect 90s outfit is made for shuri at the thrift

we talking about a whole ass tracksuit as we have seen before

not that goofy shit thats usually costume pieces, a real ass vintage tracksuit

WITH THE SHADES LOL

fine as hell.... giving stud zaddy amen.

as for reader, i think they are channeling their inner lil kim... change my mind.

reader is a bit of a thickie in my eyes so its just perfect

especially since they’re a majorette

so fast forward to the party itself

shuri just does not leave readers side bc reader knows this stuff better than her

it’s all fun and games til reader is approached by one of her fellow majorettes

“girl i think you should go do the dance battle!”

shuri is quite literally about to choke on that damn punch (reader told her ass not to drink it but because shuri is shuri, she did it anyway.)

“..shuri are you okay with me going down there?” reader has these puppy eyes, they’re a bit worried about leaving her alone, but shuri reassures them that its ok

“no, it’s fine! go have fun-- i’ll just be here.” she has this cute ass smile on her face and thats all reader needs before she goes out on the dance floor.

the song that’s playing??? why you get funky on me by today (obviously from the house party movie soundtrack, duh!!! that movie is iconic)

the dance battle is against this freshman 

that’s actually pretty good at dancing

but reader is better, obvi. they’re the leader of the majorettes.

that battle is pretty intense.

and if you thought shuri wasn’t looking

why would you think that

you already know shuri was staring mad hard at reader behind those shades.

we talking ‘why is the room suddenly getting so hot????’

shuri you know damn well why.

anyway, this dance battle is obviously something reader wins.. why wouldn’t they???

when reader goes back over to shuri, she is trying SO HARD to make it seem like she was casually watching

the tension between them now? unreal. crazy. reader definitely thinks its giving slowburn fanfiction.

and of course come & talk to me by jodeci is playing. u must be out of yo damn mind if u didn’t think it would.

everyone else is on the floor dancing but reader and shuri are just standing in a corner with cups in their hands, staring at each other.

who tf is gonna speak first now????

“...”

“...”

“i hope you enjoyed the-”

“i thought you did really well.” not reader and shuri speaking at the SAME TIME. so cliche but needed.

the giggles that escape both of y’alls lips??? ugh unmatched so cute

that entire time shuri is really wondering if this’ll be more than just a friendship. because she hates to admit it, but shes falling for you HARD.

every night she goes to bed thinking about reader but this just made it worse.

now shes gonna be thinking about reader and their gyrating hips (not like she wasn’t already tbh, reader is a majorette after all and shuri goes to every damn game LOL)

as the night is coming to a close, you two leave the party at around 2 am.

shuri drops you off at your room first before walking to her own dorm.

the moment shuri gets into that bed, shes cursed with those thoughts about you.

and don’t think reader wasn’t thinking the same.

the tracksuit and shades combo had them in a chokehold.

more than reader would like to admit.

[neonacity]

ARCANE : INIZIO | CH.7 | NCT DREAM X READER

Summary: When human deviants granted with the abilities of the legendary Arcana cards find themselves racing against devious forces, they are left to make a choice that might change the fate of the world itself: be the victims of the game, or become the masters of it themselves.

But will this war end with a crowned hero?

Or will it just create another mad villain?

*****

Note: This is the second book of Arcane. The happenings in this story is a prequel to the first installment which you can check in my Masterlist. Since the lore is highly dependent on the first book, I highly suggest you check it out first—otherwise, new readers might have a hard time understanding what is happening here. Expect lots of time jumps and flashbacks throughout the chapters.

Pairings: Dream 00’ Line + Mark x Reader

Trigger Warnings/Themes: romance, violence, torture, trauma, poly dynamics, suggestive themes, language, psychological, mystery, sci-fi. The concept of the tarot or Arcana cards will be loosely used throughout the series. Note that I am not a trained doctor so there may be some slips here and there about medical things. Again, this is a work of fiction and I am not implying any likeness between the characterization here of the boys to their real life counterparts. I also reserve the rights to all my work—I do not post anywhere else other than tumblr. Minors DNI. Please do not repost. I only publish my works in Tumblr.

© neonacity, 2022

Chapter Song: Before the Dawn | Evanescence

Previously > CH. 1 | CH.2 | CH.3 | CH.4 | CH.5 | CH.6

The soft, soulful notes of the grand piano teased the edges of your consciousness like the whisper of a lover. 

You have no idea what time it is when you managed to open your eyes, but the first thing that registered to you as you stirred from your sleep were the beams of moonlight that pierced the darkness of your room. It took you a couple of quiet seconds to prop yourself up from your bed, eyes drifting towards the direction of the music as you tried to gather your bearings. Beside you, the glowing handle of the clock on your desk struck 2AM.

The cold feel of the floor seeped into your skin when you pulled the blankets off of you and finally swung your legs over the side of the bed. The hymn floating in between the cracks of your door was beautiful, but there was something about the way the notes danced around each other that made the deepest parts of your chest throb dully. For some reason, it stirred great sadness in you, so you didn't give it a second thought to pull on your night robe and step out into the hallway to find its source. You know exactly where to go… And in a way, who you will find at the end of it.

His back was on you the moment you stepped into the room. It was dark, with only the light of the moon peeking from the high window providing illumination to the almost empty space. It was enough for you, however, to make out his strong back contrasted by the graceful features of his profile. His lean fingers continued dancing across the piano keys and you decided to stop just on the edge of the hallway to watch him from a distance.

"Aren't you cold?"

You weren't surprised at all when he addressed you, his low voice braiding through the notes of the hymn he was playing. He still hasn't looked at you, but you still gave a slight shake of your head in answer.

"That's a very beautiful piece you are playing."

"Did I wake you up?"

"You did. And I think you did it intentionally, too."

The way the corner of his lips slightly curved into a small smile made you tighten your fingers around yourself. You wanted to reach out to him, touch his face, and pull him over to you all at once. You might as well have screamed your thoughts out loud because Mark finally turned to look at you, his gaze gentle and open.

"Come here?"

Your first instinct was to keep your ground, but the side of you that wanted him close got the best of you in a heartbeat. Stepping away from the shadows, you went straight to him, his arms already opening for you before you even settled beside him. You melted into his embrace, fingers treading through his hair as he pressed his nose against the crook of your neck. You frowned and closed your eyes at the contact, the heavy feeling that you didn't even know you've been lugging around for the past couple of days leaving your chest like smoke. 

"Don't do that to me again. I thought you left me," you half whispered to keep your voice steady. You felt him sigh against your skin.

"I'm sorry… I needed some time alone."

"Do you hate me?"

Mark shook his head before letting you go just enough so he could see your face. You didn't even realize the tears brimming in your eyes until he reached out to catch them before they fell with his rough fingers.

"I could never hate you."

"But I…"

His smile fell a little as he gave a slight laugh.

"I admit the rejection hurt. I needed time to compose myself again. I wasn't really at my best when we talked so I had to distance myself a little."

"Mark, I'm sorry…"

The way his gaze probed your face now made a twisting tightness bloom in your chest again. It was the same way he had always looked at you, but now with a shade of honesty that he never had before. 

"You shouldn't. You made me realize something after all."

Your throat felt tight, but you managed to speak.

"What?"

"That you love me. And that the way you also love the others doesn’t change that."

Your heart squeezed in your chest.  You wanted to answer him, give him confirmation, but the way he looked at you told you that he didn’t need any of that assurance anymore. Instead, you leaned your cheek against the hand he raised to cup your face, eyes never leaving his. When he smiled at you again, you knew right then and there that the two of you will no longer be able to go back from all the pretending that provided you safety before. This was a man who had stopped himself from holding back because for the first time, he was finally standing in the same spot you’ve always been at. 

For once, none of you are afraid.

“Are you back for real this time? I asked the others and they said you were gone for days. Nobody knew where you went.”

A look of recall quickly crossed his features at your question. He almost seemed a bit guilty, but you knew there was more to it than he was letting on. You could feel dread at the back of your throat, but waited for him to take his time to answer.

“I didn’t really leave because of our conversation. There was something I was trying to figure out.”

“What?”

“Who the traitor is behind all of this.”

You paused. Mark's gaze never wavered from yours and you could see the clear frustration from the set of his brows.

“Did you find out anything?”

“Not much. I could have done it easier with the help of my father but I—” he stopped, a hard look flashing in his eyes momentarily. “I know he is supportive of the Headmaster’s decision for all of us to go into hiding. He wouldn’t help me even if I beg him to. I was able to get access to some reports of the investigation that our family have been doing though. Whoever is coming after us must come from an advanced technology corporation. They—”

“It’s Cypher Institute, isn’t it?”

Mark froze in his seat, his gaze one of surprise before it morphed into confusion.

“How did you know that?”

“Jaemin and I snooped around in my father’s office while he was gone and someone called him about it. It was a coincidence. Was it the same Institute that you were able to confirm from your father’s side?”

The way Mark’s expression changed in just a matter of seconds slowly made an uncomfortable feeling bloom in your gut. It was what he said next, however, that really threw you off.

“My father is not aware about Cypher Institute.”

You frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“He had leads but none of the files I cross-checked had any mention of Cypher. And I looked at everything, I am sure of it. Whoever gave that information to your father is not from our family.”

The silence that wrapped the two of you was brief but heavy with meaning. There were so many questions that came to mind but it was Mark who managed to voice out the most pressing thing you couldn’t bring yourself to say.

“Do you know any other family that your father could be working with?”

You shook your head slightly.

“He does work with everyone. The Kim’s are one when he asked Mijeong to watch over me while I was in university, and I’m sure he also had agreements with the families of the other Masters. I’ve always thought that he shares a lot of his plans to your father though… Especially anything related to this threat. It was the Lee's who saved him from the latest ambush after all. It wouldn’t make sense for him to ask another family to look into things over your father…”

It took a while for Mark to finally say something as he processed that. Your throat felt dry, and you could almost feel your hand locked with his slowly grow cold.

“It would make sense. If he doesn’t fully trust my father.”

His words hung thick in the air. You didn’t know what to say, especially with him saying what you couldn’t put into words. There was something about Junho Lee that has always bothered you, but he is also Mark’s family and for that, you still provided the man a level of respect even from a distance. Still, you knew that one of your father’s reasons for trusting him stands on shaky ground—you just didn’t expect for the distrust to run this deep.

“Do you think… He can do that?”

Mark’s jaw tightened at the question. You could see the fight going inside of him so clearly that you almost felt bad for asking.

“He's a very ambitious man. I was still very young when I lost my mom, but I remember enough to know that he was never really the same after what happened. Still, he is the only other family that I have and…”

“And it is absolutely alright if you want to believe in him,” you gently interjected by giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Mark pursed his lips and he shifted his gaze away from you, his expression torn and pained.

Just like you, Mark’s life was greatly affected by what happened in the past. Fate dealt him bad cards, and for that you can’t really blame him for wanting to stand up for things he wants to believe in. You would do the same if you were in his place; choose to stand by your father before anything and anyone else. 

It took a moment before he finally seemed to break from his thoughts. Gaze following him, he reached out for something in his pocket before finally offering his open palm to you. It was dark so it took you a moment to realize what you were looking at, but your lips were soon enough parting wordlessly as he moved to open the small blue velvet box he was holding carefully. 

Lying nestled in black satin, catching the light of the moon, was a deep blue diamond ring framed with smaller clear gems on its sides. It looked ornate but well-loved, like a star that had fallen in the middle of a dark night. Your eyes widened as you stared at it, Mark’s silence in contrast to the sudden loud beating of your heart.

“What…”

“It’s my mother’s wedding ring. My father gave it to me when he told me about his plan of us getting married.”

“Mark… I…”

Your voice sounded so full of guilt, but he gently cut you off by pressing the box against your palm.

“Relax, I am not proposing to you,” he said in a tone that made you pause. “I told you that I understand where you stand now. I am not going to force you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with.”

You swallowed, but let him continue. 

“But we can’t deny how dangerous it is right now. There is a traitor in our family and it could be anyone, including my father. I won’t blame you if you can’t find it in you to trust us right now, but my family can give you protection, regardless of who is the person who betrayed us. Even if it was him, I think he will spare you if we make him believe that you’re engaged to me.”

“What makes you think he will make an exception for me, Mark? If it really was him, and he was willing to sell the rest of the Masters, then he can betray anyone.”

“No. Not you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

The way you paused gave Mark the chance to really look at you, his eyes roaming your face. You were at a loss for words, and he used that as his window to continue with a gentle voice that made your chest hurt.

“My father can be ambitious and cruel, I admit that, but he knows how to honor love when he sees it. He was hit hard when he lost my mom, but I don’t think he is going to punish you and me for what happened. He will also gain nothing if he hurts you over us being engaged and making our bloodline stronger.” 

“I hate to say this, but it’s the reality we’re living in right now,” he continued. “I can protect you if you choose to continue your life as a Master. It’s that or you move away and cut off all connections with us. Follow what your father has always wanted for you and live like a normal human.”

You slowly shook your head as the weight of his words fully sunk in. You’ve always known this… Everything Mark is saying right now have always been the choices given to you. Not once have you accepted them though, especially with your only other option being to exile yourself from the Family and never see any of them for the rest of your life again.

“So are you saying that we should… tell everyone that we will get married?”

Mark’s gaze dropped before he gave a slight nod.

“Yes. At least while we haven’t figured out who the real traitor is. If they see that we’re both onboard, I don’t think they’ll rush us to it. We can buy ourselves some time.”

You were quiet. Your eyes found the ring again, a testament to a different promise made years ago. After a moment, Mark reached over and closed the box before guiding your fingers to close around it.

“You don’t need to give me an answer right now, but I want you to keep it. Even if we won’t get married, you’re the only woman who I want to have it.”

Your thumb ran over the soft plush of the velvet cover. A few seconds passed before you felt him gently hold your chin to guide you to look at him again.

“I’ll do anything and everything just so we could get to the bottom of this. Whatever happens though, I want you to know…”

“That I will never ever betray you. My life is yours.”

Time seemed to have stopped, the same way your heart did. He looked at you with nothing but bare honesty laid out and you received it, unafraid this time. A cloud shifted outside, and the next moment, you two met in the middle, lips soft against each other. It was a simple kiss, but one that you knew was long overdue. When you pulled away, you whispered softly against him, only loud enough for him to hear.

“I know. I believe you.”

******* “Come in.”

You have barely raised your hand to knock when your father’s clear voice sounded from the inside of his office. The antic would have been amusing if this were any normal day, but instead you found yourself slightly hesitating before finally pushing the door open. He wasn’t looking at you when you stepped into his room, his gaze set instead on reviewing a stack of documents laid out across his table.

“Are you busy?”

It was a rhetorical question at this point, but still, the man’s lips twitched into a small smile as he finally looked at you from over the rim of his wired glasses. He looked unhurt, but the dark shadows under his eyes betrayed how his last couple of days have been.

“Even if I am, I will always have time for you, Princess.”

You didn’t want to immediately soften after that, but you couldn’t help the way your eyes shifted sideways as a reaction. Your father, of course, noticed, and chuckled as a response.

“So? Is there anything wrong?”

Your shoulders slumped a little before you answered. To be honest, you didn’t really plan for anything when you decided to see him today. All you know is that you’re glad to see him again after he had been in and out of the Academy for the past few days, especially since you haven’t really talked after your argument. The way his eyes sparkled behind his glasses now made you think that he already has an idea why you’re here, but the man kept his silence to give you the room to open it up yourself.

“I wanted to apologize… For some of the things I have said last time.”

“Apology accepted. I want to do the same, since I have realized why my decision warranted that kind of reaction.”

Immediately, it felt like a part of the heaviness in your chest lifted. You remained standing in your spot though, your gaze open as you searched his face.

“Did you change your mind? About me and Mark?”

A pause.

“No, my dear. My stand remains the same. And you?”

You didn’t hesitate to answer.

“No… I am still against it.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything else to counter you. Your father can be as headstrong as he is, but he also knows how to draw boundaries, at least temporarily. What you said next, however, is something he definitely did not expect.

“Mark and I talked though,” you added as you tried your best to work through the lump in your throat. Ever since that night with him, you’ve sat with your thoughts to consider every angle of the situation. You still don’t have a decision, but it would be unfair to lie to your father about what has happened since.

“We… still do not have an answer right now. But we are considering things.”

It was quite hard to gauge whether he was relieved about it or not, but he gave you a slight smile after his pause of silence.

“That’s enough for me. Thank you, darling. Now, do you want to sit? I know you came here to tell me more than just that. At least try to relax a little.”

You hesitated only for a little bit before finally giving in and settling on the chair across his desk. Now that you’re closer, you could better see the lines on his face, proof that the last few days haven’t been easy on him.

“I found out who was after us. I heard it from a call… While you were gone.”

“I know.”

You shot him a guilty look.

“Are you mad?”

The question made him laugh. “Honey, I would be even more surprised if you didn’t snoop around to find out things on your own. Let me guess, did Mark come with you?”

“No. Jaemin did.”

“Mm. As expected from Mr. Na. That young man's loyalty to you is fiercer than his strongest fear.”

“Why is Cypher after us, Papa?”

You didn't know if he was taken aback by your straightforwardness or not, but the moment you asked, a shadow of emotion you couldn’t quite understand flitted over his features. It was fast, but it was enough for you to understand that he knows something more than he is letting on. At first you thought he would avoid the question, but then the light in his eyes shifted again, almost as if he was looking inward to himself.

"It's human nature to crave power. Cypher, unfortunately, is one of those willing to meddle with it."

"Do you have any idea what it is that they want from us? Even with what they have, it is impossible for them to tap into the abilities of the Arcana. Manmade resources have no chance against us."

The pause from him was loaded. The man leaned on his desk now, shoulders slightly slouched as he took off his glasses and pressed the bridge of his nose. You almost wanted to reach out to him, but he seemed on the verge of breaking at the slightest touch. A flash of uninvited memory took over you, and it was then you realized that you've seen him like this before. Once, a long time ago when you were younger…

Back when your mother died.

"I wish I knew. It's hard to go against an enemy without understanding how they could possibly hurt you, but I am sure of one thing. They're dangerous. If there's something even more powerful than greed, it's hatred, and  Cypher… has both towards us. Whatever happens, we can't let them get to us. To any of you."

His words slowly sank like dull blades into your skin. There was something lurking behind his statements, a confession hidden in plain sight. You hated how you're piecing things together slowly, how you're realizing that there is possibly more to this than just going against an enemy.

"What do you mean about them hating us?" You asked softly now, your eyes set on him. Your father's gaze hardened as he continued staring at a spot in front of him. His silence was enough of an answer that you need.

"You… know these people. You know why they are doing this," you continued slowly. Your words seemed to have struck something in him, a look of pain overtaking him for a solid second before he finally reached for your hand.

“When the time comes, you will understand.”

“No, I don’t think I will. Why won’t you tell me everything?! I can help. You don’t have to carry this on your own.”

“Darling, you don’t understand. They are not like anything we have faced before. I’m doing this to protect all of you.”

You were quiet as your mind ran a million different things at the same time. You could see the cracks in him, the dawning realization shaking your core in a silent, terrifying way. There are a lot of moments in your life when you don't agree with your father, but you love the man, and he has always been the epitome of someone you can rely on ever since you were young. It doesn't matter how big the problem is, he will always come swooping down to save the day. As you look at him now across from you, shadows and light bouncing off his tired face, you felt your heart break as you realized one thing. He is afraid just as you are. Unlike you though, there was an air of resignation in him, as if he already knew the fate waiting for him.

“Then why… does it feel like you are saying goodbye.”

The way that he looked at you made something in you break. You shook your head slowly, and he cupped your face with his hand to keep yourself from trembling.

“You will understand it soon. For now, all I wish is for you to trust me. I know it might be too much to ask, but I hope you can give me this.”

You were terrified. In that moment, you felt like a little girl again, afraid to lose the only family that you have.

“Only if you promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“You will not die.”

He paused for a bit before finally giving you a small smile.

“You have my word.”

You weren’t entirely convinced, but you took it, at least for now. Your father may not be perfect, but as much as he is flawed, he had always tried his best to never break his promises to you. You nodded now, your eyes falling to the piles of papers in his desk.

“What are we going to do now, Papa?”

His hand on your face lowered and your gaze landed on his ring as it caught light from the lamp on his desk. It was an ornate piece made with what looked like bronze, the simple band carved with intricate-looping patterns that are reminiscent of snowflakes. It was the only piece of jewelry that he had worn for as long as you could remember, on top of his wedding band that he never took off despite the death of your mother. For some reason, the ring looked different now as it shone against his skin. It looked regal in your father’s hand, yet at the same time... lonely.

When he spoke again, his voice was melancholy.

“When the time comes, you will know exactly what you have to do.”

******* “You know the view of the sunset looks best on the other side of the rooftop, right?”

Your head only slightly turned towards the sound of the voice that broke through your thoughts. Shrugging a little to yourself, you turned your gaze once more to the burning sky, eyes not really seeing the deepening colors there. You have no idea how long you’ve been sitting in the cold, but the freezing chill clinging to your skin gave you an idea of the hours you’ve lost track of. 

“I know. I didn’t really come here for the view though.”

Soft footfalls started moving towards you in answer. The next thing you felt was the warmth of a cardigan going over your shoulders as your visitor dropped to the spot next to you.

“That makes one of us. I do like the view here. Can I join?”

You raised a brow but grabbed the edges of the jacket to wrap the material tighter around you. “You’re already here. Will you leave if I ask you to?”

“Nope~”

The way you could almost hear his smirk in his voice couldn’t stop you from smiling a little. You gave a light-hearted sigh before finally turning to look at him.

“Why are you here, Haechan? Shouldn’t you be resting in your dorm? You just finished training with the others, right?”

“When I can finally have some alone time with you? You do realize how hard it is for some of us to get your time, right? Either you’re sulking on your own or you’re being hogged by my cousins—”

He wasn’t able to finish what he wanted to say as you raised your hand and knocked your fist on top of his head. Haechan jokingly flinched and massaged the spot you just hit, a smirk on his face.

“Did you just come here to harass me?”

“Did I lie? All I’m saying noona is that I’m a Lee too. What does Mark and Jeno have that I don’t have?”

You looked at him dead-panned before giving an answer.

“Height.”

The way his face dropped made your lips twitch. It was taking you everything not to dissolve into laughter with how hard he scowled at you.

“Okay, Princess, listen here. Mark-hyung is literally a centimeter taller than me. Don’t be mean.”

That was the last that you could take. Unable to help it, you finally gave in, your laughter bursting as you curled in on yourself to keep yourself from snorting. You could almost feel his frown deepening without even looking at him, the awareness of it only making you wheeze harder.

"I do know what I can do that those two dorks can't though," you heard him say quietly after he let you have your moment. When you finally gathered yourself again—cheeks pink from the cold and the laughing fit—he was looking at you softly. The sunset was kissing his skin, making him look as if he was glowing. The corners of his lips lifted as he angled his face a little to the side to watch you.

"I'm the only one who can make you laugh like that."

The way your heart jumped made you immediately forget what you thought was funny just seconds ago. Your relationship with Haechan has always been different… Mark is loyal, Jeno is secretive, Renjun is subtle, and Jaemin is passionate. Haechan has always been straightforward with what he wants, but unlike the others, his intensity can sometimes be impulsive, like an open flame ready to spark into a larger fire at any moment. It was in his nature—The Magician, as the master of chaos, is the one force in the Arcana that constantly straddles logic and madness, next to The Fool itself. He is designed to want you in a different intensity from how others feel ever since the Arcana chose him as its Master. 

It's because of this that you have always tried to hold back more when it comes to him. And so when he pushes, you pull back, not because you feel any less for him, but because the idea of you two meeting in the middle has always terrified you.

That, and you know that whatever feelings Haechan has for you at the moment might not be his own, but his Arcana craving for yours.

"You make me laugh just as hard as you can make me mad," you admitted finally, allowing your walls to break down just a little in front of him. Something flickered in his eyes though his smile remained.  

"You always run away from me, noona. Why?"

"You already know the answer to that."

"What I know is that you like me just as much as you like the others."

"I do. But do you feel the same about me? Or is it your Arcana telling you that you want me?"

Your question made him stop. You watched as the smile slowly bled from his face, his well-kept mask slipping for a moment. Haechan is a good master of his own emotions, but this time you knew you hit a chord. 

"I can do anything for you. Destroy worlds… and build new ones if you want me to,” he said, his voice serious. 

"I know. But that is not answering my question."

"Then what—"

"Will you feel the same if I am not the IL Matto, Haechan? Will you still like me if I’m just a regular human?"

The way his eyes hardened a little at the very thought of you living a life as a normal mortal admittedly made your heart break a little. You've always known this, of course… but hearing his answer now in his silence did not make it easier. When it seemed like he didn't know what to say next, you took it upon yourself to take his hand gently. He immediately wove his fingers with yours, his hold tight that it felt like he was giving you his reply through it alone. This time, it was you who smiled at him to try and give him comfort.

“I know how much you like me, but I can’t accept those feelings if you’re not even sure yourself that they’re your own. It’s unfair for me to give you an answer and take your free will from you, Haechan... I can’t do that, at least while you still can’t answer that question.” 

He looked so lost and in pain that for a moment, you could see the chubby-cheeked boy who had always ran after you when you were younger. It made you want to pull him in for comfort, but you settled on giving his hand a squeeze instead. 

"Hey. Don’t feel bad about it, okay? It’s fine. I like having you around, just like this. If you want to do anything for me though, then just promise me one thing."

He still seemed torn, but he managed to give an answer anyway.

"What is it?"

"Never stop making me laugh. You're right. You’re the only one who can do it."

******* Kun kept his eyes steady on the flickering flame of the candlelight in front of him. The room was quiet, but there was a different tinge of melancholy that was lingering in the air as the Headmaster sifted quietly through the papers in front of him. The ticking sound of the grandfather's clock in the room was deafening to him, like a death call waiting for its final drop. It was a reprieve when the door finally creaked open, revealing Taeyong on the other side of it. Kun waited for him to join his side, giving the man the liberty to break the suffocating silence.

"We just finished the final round of trainings, Sir. We’re gathering all the data before giving them to you."

"How are the kids?"

"They have improved a lot. They’re not at their full potential yet, but they can definitely control their abilities better now. They will be able to hold a fight… should the need arise."

"They don't have to. They only need to defend themselves,” the man said evenly. “Have you heard word from Doyoung?"

Taeyong paused before giving an answer. 

"Yes. He has confirmed that it is most likely Junho Lee who is working with Cypher."

The man's hand froze ever so slightly as he moved to pick up a paper from his desk. His face was calm, but there was something about the set of his lips that made Kun and Taeyong surreptitiously exchange glances.

"I appreciate you working with the Kim's, Taeyong. He's probably watching me very closely, so I needed you to do the job."

"Do you want us to get rid of him?" Kun's voice was quiet but steady when he asked the burning question. The Headmaster shook his head, his eyes hooded by the shadows from the flickering candle.

"No. Not yet."

Kun's jaw clenched ever so slightly at the answer. His morals tell him to take the man's word with no question—follow him with blind loyalty like he has always done—but he couldn't bring himself to do it now, not when everything seems to be crumbling around him. From the way that Taeyong was holding himself beside him, shoulders stiff and face set, he knows that the other Legacy shares the same stand.

"With all due respect, Sir. I would like to understand why," he finally decided to ask after gathering enough courage to speak again. The man peered at him from behind his glasses, curious, but not seemingly surprised by his question. He didn't know if it was just a trick of the light, but he thought he saw the shadow of a smile on the other's lips before he finally moved to cross his hands together.

"You and Taeyong always had the right to ask. The pair of you just do not give yourselves the full credit you are due."

For a second, Kun felt oddly like a child being gently reprimanded by a parent. Gathering himself again, he decided to press more to get answers.

"We do not understand why you're protecting Junho. He betrayed you. He betrayed all of us."

"I am not protecting him. I am protecting the Family… From him."

The look of silent confusion from him and Taeyong was not lost on the Headmaster. The man, on the other hand, seemed set and collected as always.

"Cypher is already a formidable enemy on their own. They will wage war on us soon, there is no doubt about it. Going after Junho now will only split the Family more—and we are currently at a disadvantage of not knowing who else within our network has decided to side with him. If he finds out that we know, we'll just be pushing ourselves in a corner. The Lee's have resources, and having those used against us is the last thing we need."

"So we will just let him do whatever, then?" Taeyong asked this time.

"No. When the time comes… And you will know when—you will have to take him down. Even his own son should he decide to betray my daughter."

The way the man said that so evenly without batting an eye made Kun and Taeyong's blood run cold. The Headmaster is a kind, rational man that oftentimes, people forget how cunning and ruthless he can be in his own ways.

"For now, I want to keep him alive. After all… He might still become useful in the future."

Both men stared at him, though none decided to speak up this time. Wordlessly, he picked up a thick brown envelope from his table and offered it to the two. Kun and Taeyong looked at each other before the former took it silently from his hands.

"When that time comes, my daughter will be the first person to know what best to do with him," the Headmaster continued as he leaned back on his chair. "Just the same as she will know what to do next once things start to unfold. When the moment calls for it, give her that envelope. It will help her."

Kun's fingers tightened on the edges of the bundle he was holding. There was a heavy feeling that had started to weigh on his stomach, similar to the one he had when the man talked to him first after his quick absence.

"Are you leaving, Sir?"

A shadow of something quickly glossed over the man's expression. It was so brief, but it was enough to give Taeyong and Kun the answer they hoped they wouldn't have to hear ever.

"There are things that only I can do in this fight. So yes… I would have to leave my daughter. For a while," he said, his eyes moving from one young man to the next. Maybe it was the darkness and the shadows dancing in the room, but in that moment, the Headmaster saw in the pair two other young men who stood shoulder to shoulder in this room once, many decades ago, promising their allegiance to the Arcana. The memory made his chest constrict with a mix of emotions—pain… longing… and sadness for what was and what will never be again.

He let the memories linger for a few more seconds before finally giving the two a small smile.

"I know I have already asked for too much from the both of you, but if I can have one last request… I hope you two can put her and the Family's best interests at heart while I am away."

"Consider it my last request as IL Giudizio."

******* Your footsteps echoed softly in the hallways as you made your way back to your room. Tucked loosely by your side are a couple of hardbounds, titles you decided to sneak out of the library in this unholy hour because you were already out of reading material. It's been weeks since most of the student body have been sent back to their homes, leaving Rosewood silent and vacant. Since then, you’ve tried to take comfort in the stillness surrounding you by keeping mostly to yourself and out of everyone's way.

You have already turned the last corner to your room when your phone suddenly vibrated in your jeans pocket. By the time you managed to pull it out and check your messages, you were already at your door, one hand wrapping around the knob while you tried to open the message notification. You have barely caught Mark's name on your screen when a gasp was suddenly torn from you as someone grabbed you by the arm, the motion causing the books you were holding to tumble to the floor. Your eyes grew wide as your back made contact against the wood, your elbow grazing the cold knob of your door as you were pushed against it. Your first thought was that you were being attacked, but a different kind of shock gripped you when you realized what exactly was happening.

You didn't really need to see him to know whose lips were pressed against you the next second. Even in your confusion, your hands automatically gripped the front of his shirt as he held you close to him. He was holding you so tightly that it took you a moment to guide his face back so you could see him better. Dark eyes met yours, hooded by his windswept, messy hair as you searched his face. The warmth of his breath fanned your lips and his fingers only dug deeper on your hip bones as if he was afraid that you will push him away. 

"Jeno, what—"

"I need you. Now."

Four words. That was all it took for you to pause and for your heart to stop in your chest. You held his gaze for a second longer before grabbing his hand the same time he reached out to turn the knob behind you. Wordlessy, you pulled him in, leaving nothing but the sound of your door closing in the empty hallway.

*******

A/N: This took a while because I simply could not put my thoughts into words properly. Enjoy!

Taglist: 

@effulgentfireflies, @kasperneo, @lostlovesoul11, @byunniebaekhyunnie, @smolpeyy, , @dearj43, @bettyschwallocksyee, @babyksworld,   @yongboksfreckles,  @user103843, @lovehowdream, @glitching-wren, @jhornytrash, @coconuttiez8d, @negincho​, @stopeatread​, @ellatizw​, @huangberryyy, @wonyofanclub​,

Untaggable for some reason: @renjunsflower, @coconuttiez8d

[athetos]

Wind Waker (GCN, not Wii U) has the dubious honor of having some of the worst pieces of heart in the franchise’s history. I’ve 100% completed nearly every other Zelda game, but this one pushed me to my limit and I didn’t bother. Lets look at some of the highlights:

The battleship minigame can be fun, but at the end of the day it boils down to luck, and trust me, when you lose a dozen times in a row, you’re going to be miserable. It’s also a piece you’ll want to wait until later in the game to do despite being accessible very early on, as until you get the ability to use bomb flowers/bomb bag you’re stuck with 200 rupees max.

The treasure chart ones are irritating because you won’t know what the reward is until you go to the location and dredge it up. One chart (as well as a piece of heart by itself) is sold in Beedle’s shop for large sums of money, which isn’t very exciting. Some charts are also found in dungeons, so you’ll want to pay very close attention as you progress, since returning to them later is a chore. One is given for beating the battleship minigame… again, with an even lower score than the first piece. One is won in the auction (as well as another piece of heart by itself) - which is just awful. You’ll want to wait for the larger wallets, and be prepared to play the song if passing a lot, because even if you win the auction every time and have the rupees, it’s random which item will be the one up for bidding!

Hitting Orca 500 times with your sword. It’s long, boring, and worst of all, very easy to make a mistake if you’re not paying attention. You can’t just mindlessly battle him while watching a video or whatever. You need to keep your eyes on the screen and stay patient. Miserable.

The trading sequence isn’t the worst in Zelda history, but it’s still a slog especially if you have no idea where to go next. Iirc the game doesn’t really do that great a job of hinting who the next npc you need to find is.

Watering all the trees is a pain. HD has the swift sail at least, but it’s very boring racing to the right island before the water expires. And then, you have to warp back to the forest to get more water. Honestly, any quest that has you sailing multiple places sucks.

I absolutely adore the wind waker, I replayed it in the last couple years and had a blast, but the optional quests can be so aggravating. I know HD version remedied quite a bit of this (as well as making the triforce quest somewhat tolerable) but man. This game has some incredible highs but some truly horrendous lows. Don’t talk to me about the pictobox.

[basilone]

@hesbuckcompton-baby tagged me in this one, ty! 💚I know a lot of folks have gone and done this one already, but please if you wanna do it consider yourself tagged right now! misc tag game!

favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

I really loved Prague when I went there for a citytrip aeons ago. The atmosphere of that city and its chill style really vibed with me. We’d rented an apartment, so it felt way less like visiting and more like living there for a couple of days. Remember just standing on the balcony in the very early morning watching the locals waking up and starting their day – that sense of utter inner tranquillity I had in that moment has really stuck with me.

something you’re proud of yourself for?

Uhm, I dropped out of school when I was fifteen. That part isn’t a point of pride, just a fact of life. And I had a lot of people pushing me this way and that way since, telling me I’d never make it and that I needed to sacrifice pretty much all of my mental health in order to fit the standard idea of what fifteen-year-olds should be doing with their time. I didn’t listen to them and started to carve out my own way instead. We’re almost twenty years on from my dropping out, and I can safely say this: I made it. I’ve got a great job I love, I’ve got people around me who lift me up, and my mental health is good enough for me to thrive 90% of the time. I have worked my ass off to get to where I am right now, and fought a long uphill battle to make life sing again. And it’s made me so resilient and so certain of myself, you know? I’m superproud of myself for sticking around in this world and making something awesome of my own path in it.

favorite books?

Rebecca (by Daphne du Maurier), Anna Karenina (by Tolstoy), Son of the Shadows (by Juliet Marillier), The Braided Path trilogy (by Chris Wooding), and Ash: A Secret History (by Mary Gentle).

something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

The prospect of curling up on the couch/in bed with a really good book for company. Can’t beat that!

favorite thing about your culture?

The way I almost went “which culture” lmao. 😂 Which really almost is an answer in itself, as I think Dutch culture is a collective of many different things? We’re traders/explorers by nature and our identity tends to slip into something pretty multifaceted. That said, I come from a specific part of this country where people still routinely speak a dialect and where the cultural events are a lot more in-your-face celebratory. My fave thing about this particular cultural offshoot, which I grew up in, is that you can play all the Dutch-language songs you could ever want without anyone bothering to so much as hum the tune… but the second you play a song in my dialect is the second you get the whole crowd singing along. Something about poetic expression? Yeah.

when did you join the hbo war fandom? what was the first show you watched?

In 2020! At least, that’s when I immersed into the fandom here on Tumblr and watched Band of Brothers/The Pacific back-to-back. Gen Kill was actually my first, though, as I’d read that book some years before and watched that one without fandom-dipping first.

have you read any of easy company’s books? if so, which ones were your favorite?

Yes! Bill & Babe’s book is so nice.

favorite hbo war character and your favorite moment with them?

*inhales* Speirs. Night time, speech time. Local forest cryptid says shady shit about war, more at eleven. I’ll never be normal about him so.

do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

Fun fact: I usually advocate against using the term ‘content’ when describing creative pursuits, for reasons I’m not gonna get into right now because that’s a rant for when I’m feeling particularly feisty. That said, I’m a writer and gifmaker. I’m more known for the latter, but the former is where my heart really lies.

favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

I have a few favorites that’re way up there in terms of how mesmerizing they are, but I’m going to mention one that isn’t mentioned nearly enough: Tom Pelphrey. Truly one of the most captivating actors of our time. He tends to do TV shows more than movies – please, look up his monologue from Ozark if you have a moment – and so I get to rec Banshee to y’all while I’m at it. He’s amazing in that.

favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

Look, I’ve lived by the words “seize the day because tomorrow you might be dead” for years now. I think it originated in Buffy, but I’ve adopted it and it’s mine now. Life wisdom from yours truly, boom.

random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

I’m really into astronomy, outer space, etc.

if you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader?

I used to have beta readers back when I started writing, yeah, so I’m not gonna advocate against using one. Sometimes you need that extra pair of eyes, that nitpicking, that moment of being confronted with your own hubris. I’m my own beta at this point in my writing journey, but I still have a group of people around me who get first dibs on reading my stuff because I trust they’ll give it to me straight and pick out any lingering idiocies on my end. Which doesn’t stop me from shoving something onto the internet that has never seen an edit a day in its life, ahem.

three things that make you smile?

Put me near an alpaca and watch my face brighten, I dare ya. Also big fan of bookstores. Even bigger fan of AO3’s notification mails for fic reviews.

any nicknames you like?

Killy’s my most-used nickname, and we’re vibing!

list some people you love to see around on tumblr!

If I follow you, I love to see ya. That’s just how this thing works. But I’m gonna shout out my writing-and-life-support crew here because without them I would be nowhere much at all: @mercurygray, @junojelli, @shoshiwrites, @arethosedustyjumpwings. You lot are the real deal who’ve stuck to me like glue, and that means so much more than words can say.

what would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Look, I have a zombie survival plan drawn up in my head but it essentially involves not being near people ever again. Because we’ve gone through a pandemic now and I don’t trust people to follow quarantine instructions or anything else that mildly inconveniences them. So. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, I’m sorry in advance, I’m gonna cry-scream-piñatapunch my way through any and all stupidity. If you see me running, please know I’m being chased because there’s no other way you’ll ever see me running voluntarily.

favourite movie?

Singin’ In The Rain. This needs no further explanation.

do you like horror movies?

Yes and no. I do not vibe with horror movies that get really gory for the sake of shock value. Can’t do it, won’t do it. But I’m a biiiiiiig fan of the final girl trope, I can’t go a day without pondering vampires, and I really love old horror movies and the progression of horror stories throughout the years. It’s fascinating to me to see how specific types of horror interact with the history/culture of that time it was created in: horror is never created in a vacuum, and its storytelling beats are so inspirational.

[biolizardboils]

[The following is a transcript of a ramble Mardiculous, aka Matt The Owner Of Tails’ Channel, went on after watching Sonic Frontiers Prologue: Divergence. I transcribed it because he touched on a very real pain that’s hard to describe, and also because it’s long and I’m tired of listening to it even at 2x speed.

If he or anyone close to him asks me to delete this post, I will do so.

The ramble begins at the 6:30 mark. Some stutters and filler words have been removed for readability. Bold and italics were added by me for emphasis.]

———

So, I’ve gotta—I’ve gotta say something.

So—you know—I am crying. I’ve been a mess lately. I’m really hyped about Sonic Frontiers, but there’s a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that I can’t really talk about right now. But [...] it can be kinda summed up with ‘seasonal depression.’ That’s kinda why I don’t look as [well-kept] as I usually do.

But... I’ve been waiting so long for this. It’s simple, right? It’s just—It’s action shots, it’s detailed, it’s the characters being in character.

...You guys wanna see the characters on-screen. Let me get the characters on screen here.

Yeah, so, the references to Sonic Adventure—yes, I’m biased. I love the game, okay? I love Sonic Adventure a lot. But I love Sonic Adventure because it was the first time that they could come out and have the characters speak, and tell you about how they feel about certain things. They had dedicated theme songs to each character.

And so—Let’s not even talk about the game, right? Because we’re talking about the story here. Adventure just—really—when you’re a kid that loved the Classics already, it just opened the floodgates to understanding these characters you already loved on a deeper level. And it’s just been so long since it mattered.

[Silence for 8 seconds]

[sigh] I don’t even know if I should post this. [sigh] Because this is just Knuckles. This is just Knuckles in this. And it’s new, but it’s also familiar, which is what we’ve been asking for. It’s so simple.

[Silence for 21 seconds]

After years of being ridiculed for being Sonic’s friends, right? Like, here’s a whole special about one of Sonic’s friends, and it’s excellent. ...Why am I so emotional, bro? I wasn’t even like, this upset before—like, I’m not upset! It’s just...

Flickies are there, right? And like, Lost World had Flickies, but like, it was just Flickies. So it was just Classic Sonic stuff, with Modern Sonic there, in a game that looked like Mario. It still felt ashamed of what it was. This is... everything.

[Silence for 14 seconds]

I’m in a weird place with Sonic right now, where, like I said at the beginning—Well, no, I didn’t say it. Um...

Frontiers isn’t gonna be perfect, doesn’t look perfect, has flaws. And the people on the outside are not gonna understand... not gonna get it.

[Silence for 10 seconds]

There’s so many people who loved Sonic, that were like, alone. And I was growing up when Sonic was ashamed of itself. And I had to just keep focusing on what I loved, hoping... hoping that it would matter at some point. And for the longest time, it felt like it would never matter. And the reason that this is so powerful is that I know that Tyson Hesse played a hand in this. Fans... know... what people like I’ve been through, what fans have been through.

And, again, this is not insane. This is not, like... There’s better animated shorts out there, yeah. And the fact that I even have to say that sucks, because I’m here experiencing pure joy. But that’s how the Internet is. I have to conjure up fake, totally real people to answer to, and rob myself of enjoying this thing I’ve waited years for. And the thing is, I’ve waited years for so little. ...They didn’t cut away right when the action came in. It’s the Modern cast, it’s fully voiced, it’s connecting to new lore but it’s using previous lore to give us something truly beautiful.

I didn’t even think I’d see Tikal floating around. Like, what’s that, Tikal still floats around and guides Knuckles? Like, I didn’t even know that that was still a thing, but now it matters. Sky Sanctuary is actually seen near Angel Island. Like, that was disconnected, even in Sonic Adventure. And now it’s all connected, and Knuckles is still thinking about his responsibility, right? Like, he hasn’t talked about this since Adventure 1. He just shows up and it’s like, “where’s the Master Emerald? Oh, you’re carrying it with you now?” Like, they just haven’t done anything.

They’ve done nothing with Knuckles, because of what happened—the way the games were received. Every single time they tried to focus on the other characters, the sentiment at the time was like, “I just wanna play as Sonic! I just wanna play as Sonic!” But like, the fact that people’s review of it at the time was so shallow! It’s common sense—not even just Sonic—it’s common sense that a supporting cast is a supporting cast! It makes your main character better! 

How could it have to come to the fact that, “Oh, shut up about the other characters and just focus on Sonic”? What does Sonic have going for him without his friends? It’s about the impact he has on his friends that makes Sonic special. And that’s, like, common sense in writing. You’re gonna have a character by itself the entire time, having zero impact on the people and their environment? You’re gonna have zero respect for iconic locales. You’re not gonna have iconic locales return, so that people who have been following your series for years are invested, and can go around and free-advertise your product!

Finally, they’re doing... what you do. And they couldn’t do this stuff, because they were ashamed of who they were, because they listened to reviewers who were so wrong because they didn’t care, because all they saw was a cartoon character. Which, I will add, is unique that it has deep lore. But that’s why I loved it. Because I can’t find this anywhere else. Unless you wanna talk about Kingdom Hearts, maybe?

Kingdom Hearts has cartoon characters and a deep lore. But the weird part is, the cartoon characters just kind of exist, and then there’s a bunch of humans to kind of really carry that dark lore. Right? Like, Goofy and Donald aren’t going, like, “Why am I here? What’s my responsibility?” But Knuckles is, right?

And what’s cool about that is that anyone can plug into Knuckles, because he’s an animal. It doesn’t have to look like you, with this. You can see yourself in Knuckles because you share traits with him. It’s about who he is, not what he is.

And that’s what Sonic was to me, and to a lot of people! Which is why it mattered—Sonic’s impact on the supporting cast! And why it mattered to have iconic locales return, and hear what the characters think about what they have to do all the time!

This actor does a wonderful job, and—I’m not even going frame-by-frame on this, because I just want to enjoy what it is.

[Silence for 10 seconds]

And it ties to the beginning. He likes to do things on his own... “But sometimes...” This part? [sigh] That’s well-written. I don’t know what else to tell you guys.

This is—there’s a contrast, right? There’s dark and dreary; Knuckles, depressed, thinking that he has to... pay for what he didn’t even do. But also, light! There’s darkness, but there’s also light! The light starts shining, and Knuckles goes to help. The Chao [sic] are happy, and we see Knuckles helping people.

[Silence for 8 seconds]

We actually see him use his abilities. Do you know what I’m saying? I shouldn’t have to say that shit, but like... When in Lost World do you see Knuckles fly around? Rather, when even in Sonic Heroes did you see him fly around? Did he glide around? Did he climb? No. And like, the Chao being different types of Chao, just in the environment? It’s basic stuff, sure! But the fact that it’s finally here?

[sigh] My inner kid can’t handle it, because... I thought this dream was dead. I thought this would never happen.

[Silence for 11 seconds]

I don’t know what to tell you guys. Um... I’ve been going through a lot lately. And this... I don’t know if I want to post this, but I think I should. Because, I mean, what’s the point of doing a reaction video, right? Like, there’s so many reaction videos where it’s just like, “Wow!” And I’ve done them too, where it’s like, “Wow, like, let’s look at this.” But what are you actually looking for? You’re looking for the reactions where somebody was truly, truly changed by what they saw, and I was!

It blew my expectations completely out of the water. I knew that Tyson Hesse was good at what he did. I saw Sonic Mania Adventures, I saw TSR: Overdrive, but still. And I could figure that this would be the tone... but... I think it’s the writing, it’s... everything coming together. I don’t know what it is.

But you clicked on a reaction video; you got my reaction. And whether it’s seasonal depression, whether it’s what’s going on behind the scenes for me... or whether it’s been years that I’ve waited for just Sonic to be proud of what it is, enough to do something new that feels like it’s from the series that I know as Modern Sonic and not “Modern Sonic ashamed of what it was and trying everything it possibly can to be something that it isn’t” ...when I was a Sonic fan because there was nothing like it. And all this time it’s been gone, there’s still nothing like it. And you can still argue that, “play other games.” But why are we a Sonic fan if not because we’re a fan of what it brought that was unique.

And to contextualize, I was a fan of everything. Sonic 1, aaall the way until like, Sonic ‘06, Sonic Unleashed—I was still hanging on. Like I would consider myself [a] hardcore fan. But something was shifting, right? After ‘06 and Unleashed, something was shifting, and there are people who loved what happened after, but... it was ashamed of itself. I don’t think there’s much arguing of that.

And the best part is, if you liked what happened after? I don’t necessarily think you’re gonna lose what you loved, either. These characters can still be funny, they can still do jokes. But there will be a variety, which is more inclusive. There will be light and darkness. The jokes will be funnier because they won’t be constant.

The Boost gameplay doesn’t have to go away, just needs to evolve, right? For me it’s like, Boost can still—I mean, some people will debate whether it’s like you gotta slowly build up your speed, or you can earn it with a button. But like, really, that’s not what it’s about; it’s about just being able to experiment with the mechanics. I think the rigidity of Boost is my problem with it, that’s all. You know? Like, there’s a compromise in there! I’m not about to tell you I know everything! But it’s about making a compromise, which is what this is. This feels new; this feels like people who liked Modern Sonic after Unleashed and on can still participate. But now I feel like I can truly love what it’s doing now.

And it’s changing how I react to Sonic news, because it’s not just a gig anymore. I’m a fan again. And it changes the way I press Record when I start these reaction videos. I wanted to watch this alone, like I did when I was a kid. And it hasn’t been like that for years.

[Silence for 9 seconds]

This was truly special. Thank you, everyone. I know, I’m a creative too, and I know how hard it is to convince people who don’t understand quite as well how much work goes into this. I know how hard it is to convince investors that this is important. Because it’s just animals doing action stuff. Like, why is it important, right?

[Silence for 8 seconds]

But shit is hard right now, for a lot of people. And sometimes this is the escape. And like... for a couple minutes, all that stuff didn’t matter.

[Silence for 8 seconds]

Sonic, you’re so fucking cool.

[Silence for 7 seconds]

[smack] Thank you, everyone. Thank you, everyone who pushed to make this happen, but not just that. Just... [sigh] everyone who pushed to bring Sonic back. And when I say “Sonic back,” I mean the heart. Not being ashamed. Sonic fans don’t deserve to feel shame. You can say we’re eating up mediocrity, but no one deserves to feel shame for what they love, like... especially when it’s a video game.

There are people who definitely deserve to feel shame. And you’re gonna target someone who likes this? ...No.

This is an escape. This is just... for a couple minutes in the day... we can just enjoy an imaginative world that’s not like our own. And there’s lore to talk about, so we can escape more with our friends... theorize what’s next in Sonic Frontiers, and what’s next for the next game. As opposed to just theorizing what the gameplay will be like, now we get to theorize where the story’s gonna go next, and how it’s gonna build off what’s established here. Shit that anyone else can do with their games. [sniff]

[A dog barks in the distance]

Well, I think, uh, Opal’s got it right. I should probably wrap this up. Um... thank you all for supporting Tails’ Channel for as long as you guys have. I know I said I was gonna keep grinding out content, but... if you couldn’t tell from this video, it’s been rough. No pun intended [laughs]. Um... but things will be okay. Don’t worry about me. Especially with stuff like this coming out, I’ll be okay.

[End of transcription.]

[goddess-in-heaven-and-hell]

Lingering Touch Pt. II - Gwynriel One-Shot (Kinktober)

Here it is! Like I said before - if you don’t like the thought of Gwyn having this kind of sexual encounter or just the sex in generell, skip. :) 

A little part of this is also heavily inspired by the one post of ‘Azriel is the person to stop in the middle of sex to tell you he loves you, before continuing to fuck you mercilessly.’ 

Warnings: literally everything lol - swearing; rough sex, Sir kink, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), p in v penetration, degradation, cum play, slight anal play, orgasm denial

5.1k words

Gwyn had an ace up her sleeve and she planned on taking full advantage of it as soon as the possibility presented itself.

Not everyday it happened that spymaster Azriel was unaware of something. Her mate just knows everything, curtesy of his brilliant listening and observation skills. If Gwyn had mentioned she had a weakness for chocolate brownie desserts while talking to Nesta weeks ago, Azriel was the one to whip out said dessert randomly on the next date night. If Gwyn just used the word ‘like’ and ‘tea’ in the same sentence, Azriel went out of his way to fly every possible flavor of tea into the House of Wind. When he heard of her fascination with Pegasie, he bashfully presented her with a stuffed animal Pegasus the next day. To keep her company, he said, when he wasn’t around. And if she ever felt the need to be with another winged male during the night, he was exclusively willing to share her with the Pegasus.

Gwyn noticed that pattern with equal amounts of delight and shock. Birthday and Christmas presents with this male were probably always a hit.

Still, as Gwyn peered into her underwear drawer, she couldn’t help but feel a surge of triumph going through her body. Among the plain white and gray underwear she had worn all her life, lay the most beautiful and delicate set of black lingerie she owned. Well, she only owned one, but it would still be her favorite even if she had a whole store at her disposal.

She smirked at the memory of wearing it for Az for the first time. How she had melted into a puddle under his touch and his gaze, only to be brought back into her body for earth-shattering releases. Then the cycle began anew.

A few weeks had passed since that blissful night, but that didn’t mean the set had served its purpose and was forgotten. No, Gwyn’s new favorite game was wearing it underneath her sweaters or robes, only to ‘accidentally’ flash him with a strap of the lacy bra, or the waistband of the shorts. She mentally counted the seconds it took him to notice, the time it took for his eyes to darken, and finally to find an excuse to leave the room with her.

He’d never been slower than a minute.

But buried underneath all that, save and sound from prying eyes and nosy shadows, lay Gwyn’s most well-kept secret.

It was a shade of dark green with golden beads and just as lacy and gorgeous as its darker sister.

Azriel had of course noticed her excitement and nerves the day she and Nesta ventured out to the lingerie store, and he had noticed her giddiness the night she wore the black set for him. But as far as he was concerned, that was that. He would never guess she had bought a second one.

Gwyn bumped the drawer close with her hips, resuming her morning routine while humming a prayer song under her breath quietly.

She didn’t just want to randomly wear the set for him one day. The lace was so gorgeous it practically screamed for a big entrance and some drama. Or some teasing, at the very least. Azriel’s façade slowly crumbling and his face lighting up with emotion because of her was a sight to behold. And the way he was in bed after being teased would be so worth the sore bits the next day.

Gwyn made her way up the stairs for training. The group of Valkyries and Valkyries in training has never been bigger, which made for two very busy, distracted instructors and plenty of time to whisper about Gwyn’s plan to Nesta and Emerie.

The three females smoothly went through their warm-up, not yet wanting to draw attention to themselves, even though they’d usually talk quite a bit during training. When they fell into their stretches, one next to the other, Gwyn couldn’t hold it in any longer and asked her best friends for suggestions.

Nesta was first to give her input on the matter. “You know, I could picture you lying on the bed, with whipped cream or some sort of gooey liquid already on your skin when Azriel walks in.”

She actually looked like she just shared the secret to the universe. Gwyn couldn’t help but laugh. Emerie next to her tired her best to look like she contemplated the idea seriously.

“But Nes, wouldn’t that be better if she was already naked? Kind of defeats the purpose of the lingerie.”, Emerie for the win.

Gwyn nodded along. “Also, it would probably get all dirty and sticky.”

Nesta let out a scoff, changing positions as she went, “Fine, ignore my expertise on the matter, see where it gets you.”

“Emerie, you?”

She went quiet for a second. “Maybe you can try something the main character did in the last book we read? Deedee sat on the table in the dining room, a robe draped around her, but not enough to cover her body, candles all across the room. You know how candle light matches really well with your hair color.”

“As if that table hasn’t seen enough in its lifetime already.”, Nesta muttered under her breath, making her friends snicker in response. If Nes was prone to one thing, it was sharing – or rather, over-sharing – her bedroom adventures. But that made her all the more approachable in topics like this.

“That would look pretty I reckon, but the dining room is a public space, and I’d hate for Cassian or Nesta to be the first ones to see me spread on a table.”, Gwyn chimed in, “Azriel would loose it if he’d find out. And he probably will.”

The girls fell into a contemplative silence, each raking through their list of sexual fantasies.

They ended up not having any time at all after their warm-up to reconsider the question.

Azriel and Cassian were brutal this morning, urging them to run faster, hold their positions longer, lift heavier. All while the punishments they dealt out for minor transgressions, like talking or laughing, were growing more brutal by the minute. After Gwyn tried to reinitiate the topic of lingerie with Emerie, Cassian forced her to run up and down the stairs to the house proper five times. By the time she reached the landing of the training ring again, she wanted to cut off her legs. It would have hurt way less than what she dealt with now.

Both Illyrians felt off. They didn’t even bicker playfully with their trainees or with each other like they used to. Even around Azriel’s indifferent face, small lines of concentration and stress formed.

Gwyn lightly tugged on the golden thread that connected their two hearts and souls together at one point, and she got an affectionate tug back, but Azriel barely had time to kiss her after training before taking off towards Rhys. Something urgent and highly stressful was going on, and Gwyn sincerely hoped that her beloved won’t throw himself into a massive pile of work, or worse, in a potentially dangerous situation.

Gwyn went through the routine steps of her work in the library that day, trying hard to focus on the task at hand and not reach out to Az. If he had a lot going on already, she didn’t want to add to his worries by being extra clingy. She spent the whole of her work hours sorting through potential research, prove reading a dozen chapters for Merrill and writing up some summaries and arguments. By the time the clock chimed six, she was exhausted, her mind completely drained of focus. But that’s when she felt the most productive.

After a solitary dinner and an hour of reading, she should have been ready for bed. Her muscles started to complain from being worked overtime this morning, her head was buzzing with thoughts and exhaustion in equal measure. Gwyn knew she was in for a long night, tossing and turning in bed before, eventually, either of them would shut off.

With a sigh, she turned the page to another chapter – might as well have some fun while passing the time – when the door to the study opened and a disheveled looking Azriel strode in. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her in front of the fireplace, his hand frozen in its motion of running through his hair.

“Gwyn.”

“Az.”

His name on her lips released him from his stupor and he graced her with a soft kiss to her lips and forehead, his hand lifting her chin up towards him. “Aren’t you exhausted, love? Can’t sleep?”

Of course, he would be concerned about her when he looked like he had been awake for 48 hours straight.

Azriel knelt before her, a scarred hand caressing her arm, worry in his eyes. Still, Gwyn thought that he had a dangerous air about him, something buzzing under his skin with violence and persistence. He wore anger on him like an extra layer of armor, which was normal for the everyday spymaster Azriel, but not for the after-work Azriel.

Gwyn marked and laid down her book, leaning forward and cupping Azriel’s face in both of her palms. He immediately relaxed into the touch, their mating bond humming with comfort. “I feel like I should ask you the same thing.”

Azriel puffed out some air in answer. “It’s been a lot these past few days. I had to work in some new spies to deal with the Autumn court drama, helped Cass to dissolve a conflict with a war band, and I should be going through some paperwork for Feyre. The earlier she gets it, the better.”

“Tonight?”, Gwyn sincerely hoped that he would just go to bed, but the rueful look in his eyes told her another story. His features looked like they were sculpted of stone.

“Yeah, just for a couple of hours.”

When she opened her mouth to argue, he silenced her effectively with a kiss. “I’m sorry, my love. I promise I’ll make this up to you. Just not this week.”

He rose, making his way to the desk in the center of the room and began sorting through the stack of documents on the otherwise neat surface.

Gwyn stood too, not wanting to disturb him, and passed the desk on her way to the door. She let her hand trail a soft path up his neck when she neared him.

They usually touched throughout the day, to assure the other of their love, even more so when they were alone. But this time, Azriel reacted like she’d emptied out a bucket of ice-cold water on him. He spun around on his chair, encompassing her hand with his to stop it from moving, and threw her a stare that was meant to frighten before he schooled his features back to impassiveness. But she’d seen it, the second of pure annoyance.

She also saw that he regretted it immensely, already pleading with his eyes and probably soon with his lips for her forgiveness. But Gwyn backed away, mumbling a soft ‘sorry’ under her breath before quickly seeking refuge in their bedroom.

Gwyn wasn’t afraid of her mate. He had his moments of fury, and he carried a lot of pent-up frustration with him. So much that even the High Lord feared Azriel, or so she heard Cassian say. She also knew that the best way to help him out of this was to either leave him alone for the next days, or to distract him so completely he forgets his stressors.

Leaving him alone was a safe option, one that his brothers usually went with. But what did he have a mate for if she took the easy way out too?

And suddenly, the when and where to reveal her little secret was quite obvious.

***

Gwyn felt a bit like a lamb on its way to the slaughterhouse. Or like a virgin, ready to be sacrificed on the alter. Her steps didn’t falter though.

Bare feet padded softly through the house, the fabric of the opened robe she wore trailing behind her like a veil. She knew a teased Azriel fucked mean. She knew a stressed Azriel fucked hard. She was about to find out what both of these emotions combined would do for him. And for her.

Her nipples pebbled in anticipation.

The air of the dark hallway was cold, and Gwyn resisted the urge to close the silk robe around her. When she opened the door to the study, she wanted him to see her emerald lingerie immediately. And hopefully, he would understand her offer.

Taking a deep breath, holding it at the top for a count of five, and then releasing it forcefully with a whoosh, she opened the door.

She was his mate. Whatever he wanted to throw at her, she could take. And she would throw it back.

The second she stepped over the threshold, Azriel’s eyes met her. He looked thunderstruck, staring her down, the only movement that betrayed him were his flexing hands.

“I thought that if I can’t help you with your tasks, I could at least try to help you manage your stress.”, Gwyn took some steps forward until she stood before his desk. Waiting for him to decide how much of the darker parts of his mind he wanted to share with her. And if he wanted the distraction at all.

After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke, so quietly even her fae hearing barely picked it up.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Gwyn nodded her affirmation.

Azriel scoffed, “You know that won’t do.”

“I want it. I want you.”

His beautiful hazel eyes looked nearly black. His features still as unfathomable as stone. On every other male, this would have frightened her. But not on Azriel. Whatever he would throw at her, she’d take. This feeling of certainty she let surge through the bond in addition. And then, Azriel rose from his chair.

***

“Take off the robe.”

She let it slide over her shoulders and threw it in the direction of the closed door.

“Tie up your hair.”

She gathered her hair into a secure ponytail. Even though she knew that after two minutes of Azriel on her, it would be loose again.

Azriel had rounded the desk as he spoke and now cornered her in, so the backs of her thighs were pressed against the wood.

Her mate lazily took her in. She probably reeked of arousal at this point, but she knew better than to scold him for taking too long. His hand wandered up her stomach, played a little with the golden bead between her breasts, before enclosing her throat. Hard. The pressure made Gwyn choke on her breath, but the puff of air was caught between Azriel’s lips as he pressed his mouth onto hers in a bruising kiss.

There was nothing gentle or reassuring about this. Only a way of asserting dominance and control. His tongue forced its way past her lips at the same time his whole body pressed against her.

Gwyn couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop the moan he elicited from her. Azriel smirked against her mouth, biting down harsh on her bottom lip.

“Are you this needy? Moaning like a little slut when I have done nothing more than kiss you?”

He changed his grasp around her throat, inching his hand higher, right underneath her chin. Then, he attacked the defenseless panes of skin underneath with his mouth.

Other than the bruises he usually left on her, the ones he soothed with a lick of his tongue the moment they stung too much, these kisses and love bites were meant to hurt. Gwyn was certain she’d look like a canvas after this was over, painted with his anger and her blood. He sucked hard on the meeting point of her neck and shoulders, twisting and turning her head at his fancy.

Then, he let go suddenly, and Gwyn almost collapsed from the lack of strength that held her up.

“Turn.”

And she turned, supporting her hands on the desk now before her. But Azriel had other plans. With both of his hands, he yanked Gwyn’s arms away from underneath her and behind her back, letting her torso collapse into on the shiny surface. Only her considerable ab strength had prevented her from smashing her nose.

“Did I fucking say anything about using your hands?”

One of his hands gripped both of hers on her back, his other twisted around her ponytail and pulled. Pulled agonizingly until her head and upper body were lifted again.

“Did I, hm?”, his breath tickled her ear.

Despite the uncomfortable position her body was in, Gwyn managed to answer, “No, Sir.”

He pulled her hair harder, the roots straining against his force. “Then why did you do it?” His voice was lethally quiet. Too calm for the storm he had conjured in and around her.

“I thought you-“, she started breathlessly, but he didn’t even give her a chance to explain her perfectly normal reaction.

“Ohh, my little angel thought.”, he mocked her, drawling the pet name that was usually used affectionately until it sounded condescending. “Don’t worry your pretty little head with thoughts. You know I know better, don’t you?”

“I do, Sir.”

“You are nothing more than a pretty body for me to use, little slut. You’d do good to remember that.” He released his hold of her ponytail, her scalp throbbing in relief, and pushed her back on the desk.

Gwyn’s breathing grew rapidly. And she didn’t want to think about the flutter in her stomach whenever he called her a slut. All she wanted now was release. A release of the tension and pulsing that started in her clit the second he gave her his first order.

She could hear how he opened his trousers, one of his hands still firmly clasped around both of her wrists. He hooked his finger in the lace of her panties and pulled it aside, careful not to touch her in the process. Gwyn nearly whined when the cold study air hit her most sensitive part, now completely bare to him and his cruelty.

He didn’t do anything for a long time. Gwyn could only make out the faint nose of him stroking himself, doubtlessly admiring her wetness. It made Gwyn feel all the more vulnerable, and all the more hot, to be draped on this desk for his viewing pleasure.

His finger touched her entrance once, and only very lightly, before he sheathed himself into her completely and without preparation. Both him and her groaned in pleasure, tears springing in Gwyn’s eyes as he started to pound into her mercilessly.

Skin slapped on skin, and if it weren’t for the heavy weight of his desk, Azriel’s thrusts would have sent Gwyn sliding. She used every muscle in her body to hold back, to let him use her as he saw fit.

This wasn’t meat to bring both of them their releases, this was meant only for him to cum.

“Sir – please.”, Gwyn whimpered into the desk, unsure if he even heard her over their breaths and his groans of pleasure.

But he did. And he laughed at her, continuing with his brutal pace and force like it was nothing. “If you want to cum, make yourself cum. I’m not your fucking servant.”

Gwyn didn’t think he could fuck her any harder, but apparently, he had been holding back. He was attacking her relentlessly, hitting a spot so deep inside her she thought she might feel him in her throat soon.

She tried to wiggle one of her hands out of his grasp, but it was to no avail. She had no possibility of making herself fall over the edge, even though she had his permission. Her neglected clit screamed at her to find some sort of friction, knowing she most likely wouldn’t climax if it wasn’t paid attention to.

After a few more thrusts, Azriel groaned and released his seed inside of her. His body collapsed onto hers, his weight almost crushing her arms and hands. He stayed there for just a second, breathing heavily. Gwyn could feel him inside of her, twitching and spurting ropes and ropes of hot cum against her walls before he relaxed.

With a languid movement he pulled out, some of his cum following him and dripping down Gwyn’s thighs. Some also flowed forward, along her slit, and she could have wept with pleasure when a drop stilled right on her clit before dropping to the desk.

“Fuck.”, Azriel released her arms, but she knew better than to move. Grabbing onto her waist, he manhandled her to turn around again, sitting her on his desk. One look to his face and Gwyn knew this was far from over. But she also noted how his features lost some of their harshness, replaced by lust. His finger scooped up the trail of cum that had dripped down her leg, lifting it to her mouth.

“You’ve made such a mess of yourself, angel. It’s time to clean it up.”, was his simple demand. Gwyn parted her lips and sucked his finger clean, swirling her tongue around it because she knew how much he liked it. His cock twitched back to life in response. A tang of salt and Azriel filled her mouth and she nearly whined when he pulled back his finger, only to scoop up more of his cum and push it back into her mouth. After three more scoops, he took a step back, his eyes raking over her form. She undoubtedly looked like she was at the brick of passing out, only her need for release keeping her upright.

Azriel smirked. It was a cruel smirk that meant absolutely no good for Gwyn, but nevertheless she basked in the attention he was giving her.

“Loose the underwear. And then sit on the desk, facing the chair.”

Gwyn did as she was told, now completely bare to him, and sat back down on the desk. Azriel took a seat in front of her, his demeanor completely relaxed, which made Gwyn seethe with bitterness. She’d be a hell of a lot more relaxed too if he would have made her cum.

Sensing her anger, he smiled at her again, “Something wrong, my angel?”

Gwyn gulped back her retort, and instead settled for a “No, Sir.”.

“Really?”, Azriel sat back in his chair, observing her with his cunning eyes, “I thought you’d be desperate to be touched by now. That your body is shaking with need. But apparently, you’re stronger than you look. – Lay down.”

Gwyn eased herself onto the desk, feeling some papers and a pen digging into her skin. Her legs still dangled off the edge.

“Spread your legs.”, he demanded, and the order burned through her like fire. She slowly parted her legs, again baring her pussy for him. “Wider.” She opened herself even more, the rest of his cum forming delicate strings from one thigh to the other. She felt him take her feet and place them on the armrests of his chair. He must be about face to face with her sex now and Gwyn silently begged him to do something with this proximity.

And he did. Gwyn released a sound that was a mixture of breath, moan and shriek when his tongue finally licked up her slit. She was thankful her legs rested on the chair as they started to shake uncontrollably. Azriel noticed, of course, and laughed quietly before licking another broad, soft stripe from her entrance to her clit.

“Az, please.”, she didn’t really know what she was begging him for, maybe to go harder, or for taking her again. She definitely didn’t have stopping in mind. But her mate reclined back in his chair, the momentary release completely forgotten. She felt the first tears escape her eyes with the loss.

“Oh, my angel.”, he said quietly, “You just had to mess it up, didn’t you?”

He stood between her legs, pulling his rock-hard cock out again before plunging into her without any warning. He was very careful not to lean forward too much, Mother forbid he’d accidentally scrape her clit.

Gwyn keened at the sensation of being filled again, but the only effect it had was to put even more pressure on her clit, without actually making her find release. It would take only one touch, she knew, and she’d be cumming around his cock with abandon. But her beautiful, lovable mate completely ignored it. Tears flowed freely over her cheeks now, her vision blurry, mind hazy.

“Why are you crying, angel?”, he smirked down at her, the lilt of his voice so soothing. So completely at odds with the way his cock rammed into her. Gwyn only managed a mumble of noises in answer. “You’ve brought this onto yourself. You better take it now.”

But she guessed he did take mercy on her. He did understand the pain she was in.

His finger graciously, thankfully, found her clit and pressed down, rubbing tiny little circles and she was finished. Her chest arched into Azriel, who pressed down on her at the exact same time, her inner muscles convulsed and tightened. Her scream was probably heard in the depths of the library below, but she didn’t care. Feeling the second spurt of cum Azriel released into her, she came undone herself.

Breathing heavily, Gwyn lay on the desk, eyes tightly shut against the world with only the feeling of bliss spreading from her sex up her spine. Her mate had pulled out already, and she faintly heard him shedding himself of his leathers. Then, she was picked up off the hard surface and carried, towards someplace warm and comfortable.

“Gwyn?”, the whisper felt close to her ear, and more gentle than anything he had said to her the whole day. “Do you want to tell me something?”

The prompt referred to her safe word, she knew. She loved him for asking, the mating bond shining with gold in her chest. But it hadn’t even crossed her mind throughout the whole pleasurable torture he put her through.

“No, Sir, all good.”, she finally replied, having difficulty enunciating the words properly.

Next thing she knew, she was laid down on the carpet right next to the merry fireplace. The warmth seeped through her aching muscles and dried her tears. Her head was lifted gently, a pillow placed under it for comfort.

When Gwyn finally gathered enough strength to open her eyes again, she immediately drowned in green and brown. Azriel hovered over her, almost nose to nose, his wings spread protectively around them.

“I feel like my little angel deserves a reward for being so good tonight.”

Gwyn smiled lightly, “I think she’d like that very much.”

Her mate mirrored her expression before kissing her lips so delicately it made her head spin. Only Azriel could go from one hundred to zero so fast it gave you whiplash. Maybe he even felt bad for her, which can only lead to good things in the future.

Azriel kissed and caressed his way down her body, paying special attention to her nipples and the sensitive underside of her boobs, before landing between her legs again. The sight of him wedged between her legs with his tattooed shoulders contrasting so nicely against her fair skin never failed to amaze her.

But her head fell back in bliss at the touch of his tongue on her clit, robbing her of her view. The open-mouthed kisses he placed on her pussy relaxed her as much as they spiked her passion anew. He was so gentle, not putting too much pressure, but enough where she needed it. The combined fluids of his and her release trickled lightly out of her opening, but he lapped those up as well. When his tongue slid into her, she moaned quietly, not wanting to disturb the moment. He thrusted the hot muscle in and out of her, caressing all the good spots on her inner walls as his finger sneakily found her clit yet again.

After what felt like too little time, he raised himself up, taking Gwyn’s legs and pushing them into her body. “Hold onto them for me.”

When she didn’t react immediately, he placed her hands behind her knees himself. Then, he lowered his head again and feasted.

No inch was spared. His tongue touched everywhere. Languid, lazy strokes went from her puckered hole up to her pussy entrance up to her clit, finishing off with a little flick to it that had Gwyn twitching in response. Azriel licked her so thoroughly and patiently, she didn’t even feel the climax sneaking up on her until it was too late. With a hoarse cry, she came right on his face and fingers, and somehow, this one felt even better than the first. Azriel moaned into her when he noticed, eagerly licking up any liquids she released.

“I bet you have one more in you, angel.”

Gwyn was reduced to speechlessness, which is why she just nodded her head, wanting to stay in her little world of bliss.

To give her at least some sort of a break in-between his assaults on her, he slowly kissed his way back up her body, taking his time to massage and sooth the places he attacked with his teeth only an hour ago.

Gwyn’s legs instinctively wrapped around his hips the second his head was level with hers again, pulling him closer and rubbing his erection against her thigh. Azriel just smiled into her neck, licking and kissing his way up to her chin and finally, landing on her mouth again.

Being bent over a desk and railed thoroughly was a pleasant thing, but simply making out with Azriel did something to her heart. He was always so mindful of her preferences; he knew when to slip his tongue into her mouth to deepen the kiss and when to change to light pecks to the corners of her lips.

After a while of losing themselves in the other, Azriel lifted Gwyn up with a hand under her back, so she was effectively sitting on his lap, legs still enclosing his hips. Azriel stayed seated too, probably not wanting to put any more distance between them. And then he slipped into her and started thrusting upwards.

Gwyn was completely overstimulated at this point. Every thrust and touch to her inner muscles felt like heaven and hell all in one. But she began moving on him as well, always wanting to feel him deeper. Azriel’s arms wrapped so tightly around her back and waist she was sure she was going to melt into him at some point, to never be separated again.

Their lips found each other again, drawn to each other like the sea to the shore.

Azriel broke the kiss just for a second, murmuring against her lips, “I love you, angel. Please don’t ever forget that.”

While still processing these words, she was flipped onto the carpet once more, completely enclosed by Azriel, his muscles, his wings, his tattoos, his scent.

And then he was pounding into her again.

Gwyn wasn’t quite sure if she actually screamed out her pleasure, or if it stayed internally. Her hands were trapped over her head by her mate, legs never leaving their happy place wrapped around his hips. He plunged himself into her with abandon, his pelvis stimulating her clit every time he was buried deep. Within seconds, she felt herself tumbling over the edge, Azriel following her only a heartbeat later.

After their breathing went back to normal and their minds fought themselves out of the fogginess of their bliss, Azriel rested his head on her chest. His wings and shadows wrapped themselves around both of their bodies completely, obscuring them to the world.

“Did I even tell you how perfect you looked in that set, or did I keep the thought in my head?”, he whispered against her skin, his warm breath tickling her chest. Gwyn chuckled, delighted that he wasn’t too far gone to notice it.

“All in your head. As most things are, Shadowsinger.”, she whispered back, her hand finding his hair and running through it soothingly.

“I don’t even know which one I like better.”, he raised his head and body off her to peck her lips, “I might need a side-by-side comparison to decide that one of these days.”