#and i cant even miss them right because of that motherfucker >:(

[sungjinhos]

man this sucks >:(

[dollyyss]

ok ok if you haven’t gotten any requests yet would you do main four + butters and maybe how they kiss you….

~🍋

Mwahaha thank you for this, idk why but recently butters has just been on my mind and I needed to start adding him. I WANNA SQUISH hisS GOD DAMN FACE AND TWLL HIM HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING CUTIE HE IS I CANT GET OVER HIM

Also most definitely wanna start writing for Craig’s gang too so if anyone wants to see that please let me know!!

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

How the main four + butters kiss you

Established Relationship ₊ ⊹

All characters are aged up! High school AU! ‧₊˚✩彡

Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Cartman and Butters! 𐙚

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: none!! If there is anyway please let me know!

I think you can tell what two I enjoyed writing for with this one.. I think I almost cried.

Kyle 🐇𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒🪐

-My gentle boy. His kisses are as stated, so fucking gentle. No day will go by where he treats you harshly. Everything he does he does carefully and softly. His lips are also soft, I see him wearing chapstick so he’s got a slight sweet taste to his lips.

-His normal kisses are quick pecks to your lips, the corner of your lips or your temples. These kisses occur when he sees you for the first time that day wether it be he picks you up in his car to take you to school, dropping you off to any classes you have without him or when he’s saying goodbye when you have to leave at any circumstance or situation. When he gives quick kisses his hands will either be on your waist or he places a hand to hold your arm quickly.

-but his deep kisses.. oh now those.. are different. He’s slow, while you sit beside him on his bed; heart pounding blood cells inflating your heart and racing out to the rest of your body as he inches closer. His hand will slowly come up to your face, his cold palm soft against your cheek as he gets close enough to just trace his lips against yours, your breathe playing with his. His eyes will linger for a moment your noses brushing before his lashes close with his eyes and his lips are pushed against yours in a gentle manner. It’s until you move closer wanting more that he gets just a bit more aggressive, he’ll push a bit harder until you have to grip onto his shoulders as he continues to hold your face. He’ll move to get even closer, pulling your face just as close. These moments are out of desperation. Not in a silly awful way but in ways that he just needs you. He hasn’t seen you in some time? He’ll kiss you like this to remind you how much he’s missed you. When he feels the mood is right and feels things will go further then just making out these kisses become more heated, more touchy, more whiny.

-when he’s comforting you, his kisses have more meaning behind them. Not that they never do but these are special kisses to when they are needed. Almost like his very own superpower for you. He kisses everywhere he deems perfect. Your forehead, temples, nose, collarbones, shoulders. Anywhere just to hear those soft giggles again.

-Kyle mother fucking Broflovski. I love this hot headed motherfucker. P.S I was listening to only by RY X to write this bit.. and I fell more in love.

Stan .° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ

-another Gentle kisser, but only in times when he feels quiet. Small even. Or when he knows you just need him or in just simple greetings and goodbyes. His lips are a bit chapped but not crazily, more or so from biting them so much due to pent up frustrations or anxiety.

-he’s a nervous kisser. As a kid puking when around someone he likes was fairly common, but he grew out of that a bit. He still curses himself though when your lips are on his because he feels that same core in his stomach tightening and his throat growing heavy. You just don’t know how nervous you make this boy. He’s nervous in many ways, but his normal kisses consist of a kiss to the forehead and or lips. He’ll have you curled against him while you watch something he’s been really into recently, or watching him play a game and every once and a while he’ll turn to place a warm affirming kiss to your forehead. Sometimes before class he’ll push back your hair to place a kiss to your head and chuckles at your grumpy grumbles you give him as you try to fix your hair again. And when he kisses your lips, he lingers, not wanting to let go from yours as they feel so soft against his like they fit so perfectly.

- When he’s feeling needy, his kisses become a bit more hungry and linger far more. They become curious even. His lips want more, why are you pulling away? He likes to swipe his tongue under your lip slightly just so you can gasp softly and he pulls you in close by your hips devouring as much as he can get. Like Kyle he becomes more desperate, much needier.

Kenny ₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉

-mmmm Kenny. I promise you he was sweet moments. He’s just so infatuated with you he can’t help himself at times? Surprisingly he’s lips are quite soft, might I add softer then kyle’s.

- a common kiss from kenny are also out of nowhere. He randomly grabs your face and places a trillion kisses to your lips. Squishing your lips so you look silly while he gives you such wet kisses. It annoys the hell out of you when he starts the squishing but how could you say no when he laughs against your lips when you roll your eyes at him, when he smiles that pretty smile just to give you a kiss to your cheek and let you get to your class, dropping you off at home or seeing you. Denying him is like denying you life. He’s a silly kisser for sure. But it shows that he doesn’t just do this to get off, just to have your lips on him. No he wants to. He wants you to know that you’re more then that to him, and if he has to give you a trillion and one kisses he will.

-But this is Kenny we’re talking about so his kisses differ when the mood changes. When you’re underneath him, gripping his arms and so desperately trying to reach up to his lips he chuckles so devilishly. He’s a teaser.. and he knows how badly you love his kisses so when you can’t get them.. and suddenly he’s suffocating you with his kiss the world pops. And then pauses. Everything in you rattles as if he’s taken over you. It’s sloppy, so deep his tongue will dance with yours, exploring your mouth.. And Yet.. he makes it so meaningful all at the same time? He’ll bite your bottom lip before smirking and letting go, placing a gentle kiss to the bite mark and continuing on.

Cartman 🎧✮🧺✧˖°

-It’s Cartman. He’s not much of a kisser but when he does it’s always for a reason. There never is not a reason. But he won’t ever tell you that oh no no no cartman keeps this to himself, though it really isn’t hard to catch onto his reasoning for many things. He never puts reason to anything unless he genuinely is invested in it, and you happen to be one of them.

- His normal kisses are quick, to the point and not as meaningful these are to say hello, or goodbye when he sees you throughout the day. They aren’t anything special. But when you’re angry? He’s quick to swallow his pride and grab your wrists pulling you into a kiss in hopes to calm you down, he lingers for a moment before pulling away and giving you the “are you done look” it’s more to cover up the fact that he just wanted to help calm you down. Having a panic attack freaking out over god knows what he’s quick to grab the sides of your face and place a kiss to your lips, slowly presses kisses to your cheekbones. He always tells you he’s just kissing you to just.. kiss you but.. it has to mean something. It’s cartman something always means something.

- Anything sex related completely different story. He’s a mess, his hair his all over the place, cheeks flushed and lips plumped due to your excessive kissing. This is one of the only times he’ll fully admit why he’s doing it. Why he’s being so missy so.. lovey. So unlike cartman. These kisses tend to come out because he can’t help himself. He can’t contain himself any longer and will admit to the fact that he needs your lips on his.

Butters ˚☆🐈*๑

-he’s so loving. He’s so.. he’s just so RAWRRRR. He’s such a sleepy kisser, such a dopey love sick puppy for you and your lips. He tends to taste like sweets.. ahh don’t say anything he wasn’t supposed to have that slice of cake from the fridge.. he’ll get grounded.

-He’s so in love with you. Like Cartman in one way and one way only. He’ll kiss you when you ramble. I think for him it’s more that he can’t help himself, he watches the way your lips move and he just needs them. He watches them so intently and so carefully so he knows when to kiss you so he doesn’t cut you off from your story. He waits to you finish taking your breath and dives in to kiss your lips. Please.. please run your fingers through his hair.. he melts into your lips so quickly if he feels your fingers curling his straight strands. His kisses are sweet, happy. Filled with so much trust.. he’s almost tooth rotting how fucking soft he is. How sweet he is. When you’re studying at his place he asks if you want some water, getting up to place his hands on the back of your chair and placing a kiss to behind your ear. He kisses you to just kiss you. There’s never an evil meaning behind it never a vile meaning by it, not even in this intimate moments. He kisses you when he greets you, drops you off anywhere in these moments he places a kiss to your lips then to your nose before going back to your lips. And it’s a must. If you forget to do it in your greetings and goodbyes.. he’ll be so sad. In any other moments he kisses you all over, you always end up smiling so happily while he kisses you, as he’s quickly giving you big smooches on your cheeks and listening to your pretty laugh.

-in intimate moment he’s the same. His kisses never change, they’re always loving. Reassuring, trusting. They always felt like home. They always feel safe. Feel genuine. He won’t even go any harder unless you feel him you want him to be aggressive.. because he wants whatever makes you happy.

[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

hi! i was wondering if i can request a platonic percy jackson headcanon fic where percy, annabeth and grover are on a quest and they find the child of hades! reader who went missing a week before percy came to camp while they were on a quest? (if you’re still taking requests !)

PLATONIC PERCY X MISSING READER WHO PERCY FINDS ON A QUEST

The reader went missing and either ended up somewhere out in the wilderness, without a way to escape because the forest or haunted building wouldn’t let you out – or something else stopped you, perhaps there was some magic involved.

Percy, Grover and Annabeth were on the quest sent from the Gods – they had to return something to its rightful owner.

They were met with a thick dark forest that gave off an eerie and somber feeling.

Soon enough they realized that the forest grounds were moving and becoming into muddy, murky, swamp water.

The thick water barely let the trio escape, thankfully they had the son of Poseidon and Annabeths quick thinking skills. Grover used his pipes to distract the gigantic arms the trees were slashing around to hit them.

When they arrived at a mansion in the middle of the woods, they knew something was up. But they had no choice but to venture further. Who knows? Maybe their quest can finally end here?

The doors of the manor opened (by force) and after some digging and prodding around the rooms, they settled down for the night.

It wasn’t until weird scratching and ghost-like-groaning was heard from the hallway, that the trio got ready for battle.

Ghost in haunted mansions? They could handle it, they think. Can’t be worse than a Minotaur.

There they are, !reader, dragging their feet down the hallways, their mouth opened with black water seeping out of their mouths – a curse.

“Uhhh…they don’t look so good” – Grover. “Really? I couldn’t tell” Percy thought to himself.

Annabeth was clever enough to have nectar in vials that she used to throw on the readers face – momentarily paralyzing whatever that was haunting you and bounding you to the place.

When you were free, and groggy from sleep – you explained yourself. The details were difficult but thanks to the fact that Annabeth has been at camp longer than anyone – she recognized you.

Now that you weren’t a threat, Percy didn’t grip his sword so tight and relaxed slightly. Whatever that was wrong with this mansion, hes not sure if he wanted to find out.

He is giving you strange looks, but he cant help but be skeptical. But then again, he did find Bianca and Nico in that weird ass military school full of weird monsters. And he has met the twelve Olympians – I guess he finally cant get any more surprised.

Small talk would suffice for now, you are part of the quest!

Hes got your back. Annabeth has given you a small dagger to protect yourself with.

Grover might talk to you the most and keep you company.

If you were injured, Percy would be protective (as he is with everyone he considers a friend). Someone from Camp-Halfblood is automatically considered an ally in his book.

He would maybe be curious about your parents – given that his memory might fail him to remember who you are.

Once he finds out you are also part of the big three, he feels relaxed somewhat. Not just Thalia and Tyson – but you too along with Nico. He feels optimistic to know that perhaps you can get along with Nico – but he is most likely far away.

He wouldn’t give much reassurance, but he is one observant motherfucker that will notice when you don’t feel well.

Percy is known to understand and notice small things about people, and really not judge that harshly – even though he can be quite sarcastic he means well.

His sarcasm would be one of his biggest defensives, if you can handle that you are a good friend too.

He wont pry too much – Annabeth being the one asking questions and figuring things out.

Any powers you have that can be useful for the quest, they would like to know.

Skeleton soldiers, controlling live people, summoning any weird creatures, summoning magic or anything of value? Can you tell how people will die and cheat death? Anything is accepted, its better than nothing. And if you don’t know then your best bet is your mind – be a good teammate and be quick witted.

At the end of the quest, you would earn some respect from the trio for completing it with them. Good thing you were able to keep up.

Percy would talk to you and ask you questions in general after the quests.

He would see you as one of the handful he can actually consult to, without feeling embarrassed that its too childish or stupid.

He would think you are cool, anyone who defeats monsters and can keep up with quests are someone he admires. He admires and trusts easily.

Butting heads and anything childish he can get over quickly and grow. At the end of the day he cares for you.

If you are burdened by responsibility as one of the big three, he will understand.

Though Percy is actually more quieter than people think – he doesn’t mind being talkative around you.

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

i swear to fucking god im not a hater but if i see another fucking badly-made thumbnail boring neurotypical straight guy with lame monotone voice talking over buncha mfb clips video of the worst metal fight beyblade takes ive ever seen with the unfunniest jokes im gonna rearrange the DNA sequence of the closest person to me to that of a Doto greenamyeri nudibranch because i swear to god just shut the fuck up.

how the fuck do you meatheads base how much you like a character over powerscaling and win ratio. would you prefer a wild bear over your own mother because the bear is stronger than her? thats how you fuckin sound like. i gotta rant this shit out because i had enough if i hear another fucking "ryūga da goat🥶🐐" "beyblade really is that serious🤣" "This show is so acoustic😵" "did you know that moses split the sea with a be-" WE FUCKING KNOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS AT THIS POINT. ALSO IF YOU DEADASS USE AUTISM AS AN INSULT LET ALONE USE THE WORD ACOUSTIC OR ARTISTIC FOR IT STAY 7 KILOMETERS AWAY FROM ME AND ALSO DONT WATCH METAL FIGHT BEYBLADE EVERYONE IS GAY AND AUTISTIC YOU KNOW WHY⁉️ which cishet neurotypical out there makin spinning tops fight with neon green or blue whateverthefuck hair half the cast looks like they been hiding in closet before their debut episode.

PRIME example of these bad takes is , because of powerscaling again the hate on masamune ? i thought people hated him because they thought he was annoying (like how i did when i first watched it when i was little) (FOUR YRS OLD) and like id get that as in he talks alot or whatever but people hate him because. fucking. "he has a low win ratio and claims to be the number one blader" BITCH THATS A 15 YR OLD. or like around that age somewhere you get the point. so what if the taco doritos colour palette guy a little confident in himself bitch you hate fun you hate sillyness. people also use him as like a tool to praise kenta? constantly i see takes like "kenta is like masamune if masamune didnt suck" or something as in they both try to rise to the top and get stronger but one of them doesnt talk shit like did you know you can praise a character without putting down the other one motherfucker. another one is "masamune isnt a legendary blader because he talks shit but cant actually back it up" Hey my brother in Allah lets play a little game. which one of the fucking legendary bladers talks big about himself. you have ten seconds. 10...9...8....KING. KING IS RIGHT THERE .

also saw someone say damian shouldve been a legendary blader⁉️⁉️mf that boy was on rearrangement stereoids the effects of that wouldve already worn off by the time of metal fury how does that even WORKK😭😭 he was probably off with 3 big fucking pet dogs to eat custard pudding or sumn idk .Ryūga dickriding has been a thing for for ever but right now for some reason people decided they didnt talk about that guy enough. theres so many videos on him guys there are other characters to talk about i can write a three billion word essay on damian but i dont think i can say anything about ryūga that hasnt been said at this point. also the people who claim hes alive BECAUSE hes alive in the manga is crazy like yall cant see those as two different universes? im not saying wether if i think hes alive or not this isnt about that dont miss the point. i wanted to make text posts about mfb for forever but i was embarrased for god knows why so i just posted my mfb fanart on my main but i cant take it anymore (eatina burger with no honey mustard) must speak this time im afraid

also sorry if this is hard to read im not good at ending sentences where i should punctuation jumpscare. powerscaling mfs will hear u say u like a character like for example tsubasa or sumn and immediately bring up ryūga like shut the fuck up this shit happened on twitter i dont even use twitter i opened the app for 000.1 seconds. you just jelaous ryūga will never serve like did mf also im not a ryūga hater anyways i reached the character limit fuck

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

legend of ruby sunday let's gooo

TWO SHADES OF RED

ruby is so overhwelmed bless her lol

hOWS YOUR UNCLE. YOU SEXY BITCH SDKLFJ HOW YOU THINK!!!!??

they are making unit too quirky for them not to become a spin off lol

15 WILL flirt with your staff kate and you WILL endure it

screaming the clip was just the first clip. whats gonna happen

"Even I got that" SDKJ THE META

IS THAT SIGNIFICANT"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ya'll are so self-conceited. millions of people are called susana. / i say this while vibrating at the rate of a neutrino star

"susan IS the name of my grandaughter" NOT WAS. IS !!!!

"we'll get him" is that a musk ref. rtd, musk is not a genius lol

"but what for" asking the tough questions

(also regeneration as a disguise…. what a good idea)

JUST DONT GO CHANGING YOURS OOK

"cant we just pipe in a bit of applause " the meta……..

mel pulling a 73!yards ruby

"we have another mystery woman" "ruby sundayyyyyyyyyyy" "you could've warned me" wtf i love tem. i love this. absolute bonkers vibes for a finale. (the horrors will start at any second)

ruby/rose flirting…….. ?? :eyes emoji:

doctor who wasMEANT to have a bunch of middle aged / old

women characters

stsly i love this energy "I love devina" amazing.

"you love to break the rules" she knows her uncle so well

WE CAN SHARPEN THE IMAGE. ENHANCE!!!

im enjoying how the fantasy / scifi plot mystery is tied to this very real personal thing for ruby.

ruby rose holding hands………………. im seeing.

"they never give me proper work" gee i wonder why rose!!! you think your mom wants you out there doing torchwood style suicide missions. cmon.

"he was a postman. she was a dinner lady" hmm

MEL IN HER LIL' ORANGE SCOOTER. OBSESSED!!!!!!!!

CARLA ON ACTION!!!!!!!!! GO GO GO

go get miss flood??????? A???????????

IM ALWAYS HIDING MYSELF AWAY

dont leave it to her oh my god. rip cherry.

(btw god bless. the hallway crack from the christmas special is still there lol)

ms flood nailing the old relative backhanded compliment

IT'S ABOUT TIME I CAUSE TROUBLE FOR MYSELF

HE WAITS NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT QUITE. NOT YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im vibrating so much

oof this is so good. this is so TRUE. "you need roots of your own not a senile old man" updated to "i bring disaster"" aggg

15 is so healthy guys. so healthy

"what if you just said hello to her face?" i cant believe this is happening ya'll. russel really said "the five doctors was BULLSHIT. im gonna fix-it fix this shit" and went and did it. icon

ill have some of that <3 !!!! (lol thats right kate. he'll never trust u like them!!! deal with it)

a phoenix is just a bird until it burns… awesome. what the fuck does that mean

thats right stammer. you're barred from unit. motherfucker 15 is so rude. love him

MANCHESTER MOMENT

MASSIVE INFORMATION FROM THE VHS. I LOVE THIS ABSOLUTE NONESENSE.

ooo the music did a little thing. hold on to your butts babes we about to get DRAMA

unit has better toys. but are they competentent? LOL

clara and the leaf energy tbh (complimentary)

(oh is ruby susan's daughter therefore 15' daughter????) love the snow thing tbh . rtd was like im about to give dw fanartists an easy motif to add to their art for years. thanks king "time has tides and hollows and secrets"

(this transition effect………. very pertwee era intro….. :eyes emoji:) memory is time!!!!

"you cant move" omg impossible mission moment. fathers day moment. 15/ruby dont know how to step moment!!!!!!!!!!!

this is rtd's thought process lol "time … memory… ah shit.. MEMORY TIME MACHINE THERE WE GO"

damn carla and ruby got me here.

"my memory of this keeps changing"

rip chipzode probably

T.T rubes

what the actual fuclk

Close the window!!!!

when is that thing, inspector spacetime???????

it's the beast!! (carla dont name the undefined thing on the "everything becomes what you name it season" o h my gOD)

I AM IN HELL

im loving the coloring/lighting in this episode. everyone looks very sharp and nice

"i bring disaster" hehe

finally some good fucking [kate vs doctor antagonism]

15 frustrated because he finally has to come back from buying the cigarattes/ bread

"FINISHED? STOP GRIZZLING AND FIX IT". mel!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats

mel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you mel!!!!!!!!!!!!

rtd said im gonna write a season that is SO self referential. thank u

for writting this show for the weirdos only. (We might run out of disney money tomorrow but TODAY we relish)

brigadier picture!!!

missing episodes restoration commentary? lol (if i was rtd i would have named harriet ms. bachel color)

"i'd remember a handsome chap like you" um. let's no go there!!! thanks

i told u doc u absolute anxious nerd. there's millions of susans!!! (not convinced this isnt anything yet)

the music is doing things

"being an ambulance?" mel u have always been in doccy who. catch up!!!

reverse the polarity of the VHS

(ALSO very 00's/90's "therre's something hiding in the music if u play it backwards Zeitgeist ("Blink"'s dvd easter egg realness))

donna this is all ebcause you had to go and spill that damn coffee. chodizee's blood is on YOUR hands

leave the tardis alone… "then they get wise, and they try to destroy it"

"thank you, and i love you, and good bye" aaaaaaaaa

our tecnology spreads lies and fraud!!! im gonna count that as aBINGO. taking my prize in cash beebs. thank!!!

"you do not question, you move" ummmmm

master? rogue? valeyyard? rassilon? omega? suttek? omega??? rani?? ???

harriet arbingers. rip.

A DREAM OF A WORLD WITH ORANGE SKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol love this. going over the theories

THE MARA MENTION!!! TEGAN NATIO N WE R I S E

suketh!!!!!! well there it is lol (damn wish i had rewatch Pyramids so i could be more excited about this dklfjsdklfjdskldfs) (also def saw ppl on reddit calling that "second anagram" ou t sdklfjsd)

"did you think i was family, doctor?" rude.

CONCLUSIONS!!!

tbh this had a looooot of good character moments but i think it was mostly a "putting the chessboard pieces in place" episode. still tho damn, those characters moments. highlighting carla/ruby giving me emotions, sutekh/doctor taunting, doctor/kate antagonism MY BELOVED, ruby/rose (best ship name?????), doctor/mel!!!!!!!!!!!!!! being everything!!!!, doctor finally dealing with the susan of it all!!!! (ilu for this rtd). doctor/ruby being super cute and queer before experiencing THE HORRORS, idk how i feel about the reveal since tbh i didnt care much for that serial sdlfkjsdfds but hey. anyway excited for next week. tv show reveal def coming for the second-act-reversal !!!!!/is a hopeless case ALSO enjoyed the filming of this as well (snow! vhs effect!!!) and this is def the most interesting UNIT has ever been lol

[motelpearl]

I'm watching star trek voyager so I'm gonna put my thoughts below & keep adding onto it (yes I'm going from tng -> voy & skipping ds9 for now at least even though I feel like I'm missing out on context bc trekkies seem to hold ds9 as like the gold standard of star trek but I watched a couple episodes & I just couldnt dig it)

the relationship of kes & neelix is so bewildering to me like what does she see in him like hes not even a bad person but he's just a lot dumber than her & has that "where's my hug" type guy energy also he's like so old not even in a sugar daddy way just in a boomer way like doesn't kes's species only live 9 years

I hope tom paris goes through some character development because as of right now he's soooooo annoying like referring to chakotay as an "indian" all the time......ugh one would hope we wouldn't still be doing that in the 25th century also I knew from seeing online discourse that chakotay's writing is stereotypical in a well intentioned but still badly-aged way & it's not ruining the show for me but whenever he closes his eyes & the panflute music kicks in I just sigh deeply

the vidiians are fucking terrifying bruh its giving a cure for wellness

I HATE HISTORICAL REVISIONISM IM SORRY BUT IT WILL NEVER FEEL COMFORTABLE TO ME EVEN IF THEYRE DEAD. NOT THE MARK TWAIN RPF IN TNG NOT THE AMELIA EARHART RPF HERE IT JUST AINT RIGHT

OKAY MAYBE I WAS WRONG WHEN I SAID NEELIX ISNT W BAD GUY BC WHAT DO YOU MEAN KES IS A PREPUBESCENT 2 YEAR OLD

not the voyager defeating an alien by becoming submissive & breedable (of course the voyager has a blue plasma trail & pronouns....)

JANEWAY WANTS CHAKOTAYS DICK SO BAD PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER GIRL WHERES YOUR DECORUM

tuvoks hairline is so fascinating to me

not belanna being lowkey in love with chakotay too & then them showing his bare ass in the next episode....rick berman was on this man like a fat kid on a smartie

FUCK THE KAZON UGLYASS BEASTS

seska needs to be in jail bruh

I SWEAR TO GOD IVE WATCHED ENOUGH STAR TREK THAT I CAN TELL JUST BY THE CAMERA ANGLES WHEN AN EPISODE IS DIRECTED BY JONATHAN FRAKES LIKE HE'S ALWAYS DOING WEIRD DUTCH ANGLE TRACKING SHOTS & STUFF LIKE THAT

so I heard that threshold is like the worst episode in the entirely of star trek & after watching it I honestly dont think it's that bad like sure it's an implausible premise but it's not as bad as like code of honor or sub rosa

NOT BEEF BEING A Q....TWO OF MY WEIRD NERDY INTERESTS ARE OVERLAPPING ALSO THE CAST LIST OF THIS EPISODE SCARES & EXCITES ME. FUCK Q SEXIST ASS MOTHERFUCKER FIRST HE CREEPS ON THAT TEENAGE Q THEN HE KILLS ALYSSA OGAWAS BABY NOW HE SAYS WOMEN CANT BE CAPTAINS & SEXUALLY HARRASSES JANEWAY. DIE.

I always wonder how they get the alien makeup on babies like in this episode with the baby with horns on its head & that one episode of tng where they showed baby borg. also the concept of teleporting a baby out of the womb for an easier delivery is hilarious

tuvok & neelix toxic yaoi?

bruh if this episode is setting up the possibility of suder just letting out his violent impulses one last time & going scorched earth on the kazon & the doctor helping him by means of holographic skulduggery & then tom paris showing up with a cavalry of fucking talaxians to lay the smack down I'm gonna laugh so hard

TOM PARIS FINALLY STARTING TO REDEEM HIMSELF

THE PORTRAYAL OF 1990S EARTH IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TUVOK WEARING A DURAG TO COVER HIS EARS PLEASEEEEE

time travel episodes stress me out so much though like PLEASEEE put the tricorder away. not belanna & chakotay getting kidnapped by hillbillies omg the shots where the guy kicks chakotay & then belanna kicks the guy were edited so weirdly

starling reminds me so much of elon musk

is the alien possessing kes bisexual?

too bad q got to die of old age instead of janeway giving him the electric chair

janeway gettin her lara croft on we love that

why cant vulcans just jack off during pon farr like I thought hand stuff was their whole thing

this isnt voyager specific but shuttlecrafts should really have seatbelts like the amount of times people randomly get injured because turbulence throws them out of their seats....WE SOLVED THIS ISSUE 500 YEARS AGO

not tuvok building the Doohickey

why are they leaving harry unattended on a borg cube WHY DOES STARFLEET NOT MANDATE THE BUDDY SYSTEM HES JUSTA LITTLE GUY & NOW HE'S GOING TO GET ASSIMILATED

WHAT THE JESUS IS THAT

awww bless kes I knew she would leave & I was worried she would die but I'm glad she left on a lighter note

"welcome to the worst day of my life" hi my name is belanna dark'ness dementia raven torres (yes I know losing the warp core is serious but that line was giving "we live in a society")

DID HARRY & SEVEN HAVE SEX. BRUH

eugh I wrote in my other star trek thread that borg assimilation is one thing that just gives me such deep discomfort like even though the borg gradually become sort of overdone the concept of assimilation becomes increasingly terrifying regardless like seven's backstory just creeps me out so much like the concept of her parents just being these sort of rebellious scientists who thought they were gonna make some great discovery out in the delta quadrant (sidenote I hope it gets explained more how exactly they got out there like did they go through a wormhole too?) & just stumbling upon these unimaginable horrors that they had no chance of fight & having to watch as their naivete & hubris destroyed their childs life & everyone they previously knew had no idea where they went or what happened to them EUGH ITS SO CHILLING

wait how did they get the warp core back was I not paying attention

tuvok getting his gilf certificate in the mail we love to see it

species 8472 are terrifying even though the CGI is so low-poly

okay this is a pretty pointless criticism but it annoys me how all the female characters wear heeled boots & on that note the grey turtleneck under the uniforms looks so ugly like post-s3 TNG had the best looking uniforms & this isnt coming from a biased place just bc tng is my favourite (also the movie era uniforms that were red & had random white straps were SO UGLYYYY & DUMB LIKE HOW CAN YOU TELL ANYONES RANK OR DEPARTMENT IF THEYRE ALL RED)

I hate the way the borg queens spine swings around like a cat's tail

opening the episode with harry kim getting his tiddies sucked....ON PRIMETIME TV? IN THE 90S?

I just know that anti-alien-sex law got put into place because of riker

since like late season 3 I'm finally starting to understand why trekkies say janeway has sexual tension with literally everyone

a vulcan shedding a single tear when hearing an artificial lifeform perform a piece of classical music? NOW WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE......*taps chin pensively*

tuvok & neelix detoxified yaoi?

BARCLAY & TROI YASSS

NEVERMIND NOT BARCLAY BACK ON HIS HOLODECK BULLSHIT

not the space Irish again (also from what I've seen irish people are apparently really offended by the irish reunification of 2024 meme <\\\3)

if janeway were alive in 2024 she'd be on tumblr making posts like "I need to get sent to the seaside for my health"

I didnt expect the episode "virtuoso" to suddenly take such a resonant turn but in the age of generative ai it's strangely prophetic

the double whammy of seeing jeffrey combs & the rock as the guest stars in this episode

I got injured the other day & have been pretty much bedbound because of it & whenever a scene takes place in sickbay I think "spare dermal regenerator 🤲"

they bring back kes just to give her makeup that makes her look like Christopher Walken <\\\3

ugh I love troi shes such a queen

why does the borg queen look like this -> 🥺

honestly I'm kinda sad that I'm on the final season

poor tuvok man first he almost gets assimilated, then he gets mind controlled, now hes just trying to fuck but he's thwarted by political tensions

I kind of want to rewatch st: picard since I know seven's backstory now & have the context of the borg's decline like I saw trekkies saying janeway "handled them" but now I know the exact circumstances

omg I know chakotay & seven somehow end up together (at least for a while) when the show ends bc I've had so much of voyager spoiled (tbh that seems to the usual reason i watch shows, I get a bunch of it spoiled & then I'm like "but how do those dots connect") anyway that literally makes no sense bc I can't think of a time theyve ever interacted since seven became a character but like chakotay & janeway were RIGHT THERE THEYVE HAD TENSION SINCE SEASON 1 IM NOT EVEN A SHIPPER CAUSE IDC THAT MUCH BUT IT WAS RIGHT THERE (& I read the wikipedia page for each episode after I watch them cause idk I like learning behind the scenes stuff & in the "reception" section of each page theres always something like "fans were disappointed that janeway & chakotay did not bang like screen doors in this episode") LIKE THE FANS WANTED IT IT WAS A LOGICAL COURSE OF ACTION IT WAS SET UP SINCE SEASON 1 & THE WRITERS CHICKENED OUT. WHY THOUGH?

noooo belanna dont do eugenics ur so sexy aha

POOR TUVOK BRUH SEASON 7 IS JUST A YEAR OF TUVOK SUFFERING

THE DOCTOR MAKING PHANTOM OF THE OPERA REFERENCES....DID HE JUST BECOME MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER (even though he pronounces "fantome" entirely wrong)

"she's suffering from dysphoria syndrome" janeway trans?

I know this show was made in the late 90s/early 2000s but nothing hammers that point home like seeing the same exact fishing rod toy I had as a kid in this episode that aired a month after I was conceived

just when I thought the Q couldnt get more annoying....one of them is a teenage boy

NOT SOME WRITERS BARELY DISGUISED FOOT FETISH SEEPING IN.....I COULD NEVER BE AN ACTRESS

one thing that has never stopped annoying me is the fact that we literally see naomi wildman be born onscreen & then she goes from newborn -> 9 year old over the course of like 2 seasons

okay I finished it & I'll need more time to collect my thoughts but the basic idea is: I liked the show but I feel like there was lots of possibilities that went unexplored but one thing I especially liked is that unlike TNG (which is still my favourite trek) the female characters got storylines that didnt just revolve around interpersonal stuff (ie. family/romance) but actually got to use their specific skills

but now I'm rewatching the first couple episodes of because I honestly had no idea what was going on (I didn't even realize the doctor was a hologram until like halfway through season 1 & I didn't realize tuvok was spying on the maquis until like season 3) & one thing I have noticed is that NEELIX WAS SO FUCKING UNHINGED IN THE FIRST EPISODE LIKE HE COMES OFF LIKE HEATH LEDGER AS THE JOKER IN THAT SCENE WHERE HE VIDEOCALLS VOYAGER & STRUTTING AROUND THE TRANSPORT ROOM IN HIS PIMP COAT & ALL THE WATER STUFF LIKE WHO IS THIS MAN also belanna's makeup was so bad I'm sorry <\\\3

[thegeminisage]

i've decided to start in central hyrule & work my way outward re: shrines & seeds. reason: i am weak af and if i do this i will collect materials along the way which will help me upgrade my armor, or at least give me something i can cook and/or sell, and seeds and shrines will help me with weapons/health/stamina. win/win/win if collecting korok seeds doesnt make you wanna end it all

obviously i am gonna have to do this in Small Doses. i'm thinking every x number of seeds/every area i stop and do one of the sidequests in my backlog to keep it interesting

i'm on the other island next to hyrule castle looking for the chasm the map swears is here. i'm starting to wonder if i cant sneak into hyrule castle via these, even though there's a wall, because there's a deep spot on the other one. i am not <3 going to find out

so it is Not here. i can't find any sort of cave entrance or anything it could be in, like the other one...does it unlock later...? is this too part of the fifth sage quest

eigh the hyrule castle music coming it. stop i know i know im too close!!!! such different vibes from the deceptively peaceful central hyrule of botw...

IF OUND THE CAVE!!! ANOTHER FROX!!!!!!! i'm scared!!!!!!!!!!

OH EWWWW WHEN YOU'RE IN THE AIR IT TRIES TO CATCH YOU IN ITS MOUTH THAT IS SO GROSSSSS

i used. almost literally. every weapon i had left. i have like a fire wand a mining stick and two shitty swords. what the fuck what the fuuuck

luckily there's a lightroot like right here. i saw it when i got in but i was Uh. busy.

well there is fuck all else down here so now my new priority is finding weapons. i know lookout landing has some...hinoxes usually carry good ones...AUGHGHGH

god the ones here SUUUCK i am in such trouble.

i cant fight a hinox with no weapons...so thats out

maybe a construct camp...? i could start in the great sky islands. literally back 2 basics

luckily i still have lots of arrows and many good strong bows, so i can use that to my advantage

took out a construct camp. got one (1) Pretty Good sword

okay, with some fusing i now have 2 pretty good swords, one pretty decent sword, and two shitty ones, plus a fire rod, mining stick, and...an actual stick, that i picked up off the ground, just in case. i think i can work with this

landed in the deya village ruins! i've been wanting to poke around here actually...then i'll get back to central hyrule lol

very nostalgic...this is where i got my first blood moon in botw...since it was already night, the ruins were creeping me out, they remind me of a spooky location in okami. and i had no idea what was happening when the sky went red and the music changed because i hadn't seen the red moon rise, i was looking at the ground!! it really freaked me out lol, i'll always remember it

yooo there's a shrine in this well!!!!!

there's a talus down here KICKING my ass. his little thingy is on his back and i never know how to defeat those 😭

I MISS STASIS >:(

got him. jesus fuck

on the bright side this is another cool thing to add to my weapons. my supply is refilling itself rather nicely

back in central hyrule and i found a little island absolutely COVERED in flint and arrows. environmental storytelling.........not sure WHAT story they're telling but i see them telling it

OHHH my god. when i was flying over. some gloom hands just. SPAWNED BENEATH ME. TOTALLY SOUNDLESSLY. AND NOW I'M STUCK UP HERE BC IF I GET DOOOWWWWWN

this is the thing. this is the thing. when i said "guardians are scarier" i'm not implying these motherfuckers are not scary. bc they are. but u have to understand my first encounter w guardians was a complete and total surprise. just, bam, piano, YOU'VE BEEN SPOTTED, the sheer terror of fleeing for cover

but the hands. everyone talked about the hands before i got there. i saw them spawn down at the bottom of the labyrinth at a good distance away. i had time to absorb what was coming and it was not remotely a surprise

and then they spawned in the dark, without a single sound

and then they spawned UNDERNEATH ME, without a single sound

THERE IS NOT EVEN MUSIC PLAYING RIGHT NOW. EVERYTHING JUST WENT SILENT.

these are the antithesis of guardians. a guardian will scream its presence at you and the scream makes you wanna duck and cover. the hands will be killing you before you even know they're there. anytime anywhere no warning whatsoever. it's apples and oranges. they're both fucking scary

anyway i can't get down from here.

i can't get down and i do not want to fight them I Do Not Want To I Do Not Want To I DO NOT WANT TO

if i wait long enough, will they despawn...?

ok no. i gotta go for it. im so scared

went for it, made it, barely. the music didn't start but they looked up with their horrible eyes and they were on their way to me. i went over a hill and i stopped hearing the sound effects and now i hear normal music again but i sort of have to go that way a teensy bit to get ym korok seed and i'm too scared. what if they're still there! when do they despawn!

ok. i'm gonna go for it and if i see even a hint of them i'll fast travel away >:(

absolutely zero signs of them of COURSE it's way too far away but some chuchus jumped out at me and scared me shitless

at least guardians don't keep scaring you AFTER THEYRE GONE. theyre def cooler tho

okay i have to quit now bc it's bedtime and also for my own mental wellbeing. EUGH those hands!!!!!

[switchbladedick]

omg phaedrussss i thought I've lost you for ever 😭😭😭😭 i was away from tumblr for a while and when I came back you were missing on my dash and I thought you had gotten nuked for being so hot and all and 😭😭😭😭 i literally got sad BUT now I'm happy because you're still here and the cult is still strong 🫡🤭 (shy anon, why and how are you so cuteee??? are you even real???)

Anywayyyy. How have you been? How is your leg healing?? How was the test??? (I was reading your blog/catching up but got to five days ago and decided to msg first hehe)

( Also! I looked up the last msg I sent and firstly how dare u getting me horny out of nowhere, literally so rude (/j). But i guess I'll answer your question (years later, sorry💀) I'm okay with everything, i think? I use she/her and all pet names get me lmao. What about youuu???)

— admired 🩷

ADMIERERRRRRRRRRR HELLO ITS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! the cult still lives (although puppy's blog got nuked 😭😭😭) and ur so right shy anon is unrealistically adorable. ive been pretty good!!! my leg feels fine and i cannot fucking WAIT to get this motherfucking cast off. its happening this tuesday and i swear to god it cannot come fast enough im sick of not being able to use my LEG DAMMIT. the test went well, and by well i mean i got just about the score i was expecting, which in any other circumstance would Not be great, but in context is a surprisingly decent score.

u mentioning it made me go back and reread, and damn now you got ME horny about it too 🙄 soooooo messed up smh. now im gonna be thinking about that for the rest of the night....

good to know about your terms darlin 😘 my pronouns are he/him and tend to prefer masculine terms but theres a few exceptions i cant think of off the top of my head rn lmao. i loooove pet names but usually more when im feeling subby. some people have played around with titles for me when im domming and i tend to like them a lot but they also feel pretty situation-specific so if you wanna try one just ask and ill let u know ;)

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 And we are at 4x10, i should probably say that he did threaten with a lawsuit if the episode doesnt have Britin being cute/happy, he is literally one of us. HE SAW THE BEGINNING WHERE IT SHOWS A TINY PART OF BRIANS BED AND HEARD MOANS AND HE IMMEDIATELY WENT ‘it’s Brian! okaaaay, look at them having sexy time again. I am so fucking glad that Justin’s hair is growing back. (That surgery flashback happens) What just happened? Why did we go from soft to rough? Is he having surgery flashbacks? What’s going on? Did he lose his hard on? See, if the fucking Doctor didn’t get mad at me, i would’ve had ALL my questions answered but noooo, now I’m in the dark about my Bri Bri’s health. Oh i feel bad for Brian, this has to suck. But its okay Bri Bri. Things happen. If this was season 2, hed yell at Justin by now.’ And we are now at Emmett and Drew in the motel ‘what the fuck? How did we get here? DUDE…i think he’s not straight..(drew has his little internalized homophobia moment) um dude.. what the fuck? *deep manly voice* i throw ball far! I catch ball! I no gay, me straight! SPORTS *hits his chest* hetero bro!…dude, i think you need to look up the word straight. EMMETT YOU DESERVE BETTER CAUSE THIS IS BULLSHIT’ we are at Lindsay and Sam now ‘full offense but his art is not worth acting all *waves his hand at lindsay* whatever the hell that is. IS SHE JEALOUS THAT HE FLIRTED WITH A DIFFERENT WOMAN? Lindsay? What?’ And we are back at Brian ‘i missed this cute motherfucker *he is watching Brian at work like it’s the best thing ever* i need more of this. He is a beast at his work. No wonder he thinks he’s the shit. (Brian says that line about juggling balls and ted looks ready to tell jokes) THIS IS WHAT I WANTED! THIS! THEM! BEING BESTIES! *looks at me all worried* thats what the youth say nowadays right? Besties? I’m right, right? BRIAN LIKES TEDS SUIT! AND CONFIDENCE! Okay so brian and ted? New favorite duo! But also brian, ted and Cynthia? New favorite trio!’ Mikey and Justin are now on the screen and he is all excited ‘THIS IS ALSO NICE! Justin and Mike being best friends! FUCKING FINALLY! I knew Mike had some good in him. Finally he is done pissing me off. THEY HAVENT FUCKED SINCE THE SURGERY?! Theyre going to get HERBS?! FOR BRIAN? FOR SEX? not what i thought of when i said besties but okay?’ And now we are at Ben and his student scene ‘what the fuck is going on over here. Ben had potential in the beginning! What the fuck happened with him since then and what the fuck is this shit? OH THE GUY IS HITTING ON HIM! BEN WHAT THE FUCK’ and the Brian/Deb scene is about to happen ‘IS DEBBIE IGNORING BRIAN? Wait have they not even talked since vic died? DEB WHAT THE FUCK? Did you see how he looked after deb? He is SAD! Someone fix this because i cant handle him being sad (brian runs after deb) oh i guess Brian is gonna fix this. This is new. Deb he needs you. He needs a mom! Shit does jen know yet?! Look at him fixing his messes. MY BABY IS GROWING UP! (Brian tells deb) HOLY FUCKING SHIT. *he literally teared up at Deb being all mom to brian and when she like buttons up his jacket* I hate that the only time he has a mom is when horrible shit happens. He needs someone to look after him as much as he looks after them. Also why is this literally me if i was around Brian? WHY ARE WE ASKING ABOUT HIS MOTHER? FUCK HIS MOM. She doesnt deserve to know! (Deb hugs brian and he once again tears up) yes he will be okay! Finally someone is hugging him!’ ‘Wait Emmett is going to get Drew a job? He was all im hetero not gay and being a bitch about it and he’s helping him? Emmett, no. You deserve better’ mikey and justin scene is up!! ‘Look at the new besties! If you told season 1 Michael that he’d be HELPING Justin fuck Brian, he’d have a stroke. *he is absolutely dying out of laughter at the china store scene* what are they saying? Remember when that one time, i accidentally put Chinese subtitles and thought i spoke Chinese?’ ‘BRIAN! Dont you worry! Blondie is on his way with boner herbs!’

I should probably say that he did threaten with a lawsuit if the episode doesnt have Britin being cute/happy, he is literally one of us. HE IS ONE OF US. I seriously love the idea of bringing a lawsuit against CowLip for emotional pain and suffering.

I am so fucking glad that Justin’s hair is growing back. <- One of us!

If this was season 2, hed yell at Justin by now. GROWTH! (only to have it ripped away in S5)

OUR BABY IS GROWING UP

Joan doesn’t deserve to know.

And Emmett does deserve better. (Sorry Drew)

OH MY GOD even I remember when he put on Chinese subtitles and thought he spoke Chinese. I’m one of your family now. And yes, if you had told Justin and Mikey they would be collaborating to help Justin fuck Brian in s1 or s3… strokes would be had.

[icarusredwings]

"Wade, the girls are here."

"What?"

"The girls. Are. Here!"

"There goes a hare?"

*violently gestures to their daughters*

"Oooh! Look, honey the girls are here!"

*old man face palm*

Laura and Gabby coming to take care of them sometimes, bringing them food, bringing them medicine and constantly nagging at them to take it easy (but theyre both stubborn so they don't) they bring them to gatherings at the mansion on the holidays, refusing to let them be alone.

".. I don't want to go."

"Dad you gotta. They miss you. We all do."

But logan isn't dumb. He's already been to all of their funerals, all of their childrens funerals, and even some grandchildren's funerals. Jeans been dead for over a thousand years. Xavier has been dead for longer.

"Papa. Tell him to come. We can bring Puppins."

Ellie, who's 16 again (because her power keeps regenerating her to a teenage, but she ages normally otherwise) tells her, begging her father to come and do things with her step sisters.

"Come on. I'll drive you." Gabby, who's turned into a fine young lady over the years, barley looking 35 (I might be wrong but I swear she has the same healing as laura and if thats true then shes still alive, I thought she could scar tho so many shes filled with scars and shows wade how proud she is of them)

As proud as they both are of their girls, something just dosn't feel right even going on that side of town. The school by now has fallen apart millions of times and changes slightly with each rebuild. Logan doesn't even recognize it anymore.

They would rather stay in, with themselves. Wade curled up against him, rubbing in between his knuckles, logans head lazily laid against him as they watch a show over 500 years old, their home considered extremely lowtech compared to modern day. They have several "vintage" items like a ps5, which is nothing compared to the ps5X which was releasing later this year to celebrate their 50th playstation. The games have stopped working, their 800 year old laptop collecting dust in a drawer, letters and notes stacked high in a shoe box under the bed, the freezer full of left overs that their daughters keep bringing them.

It sounds depressing but.. theyre happy. Decently anyway minus Wade's once a month breakdown in which he tries to skin himself or clings to Logan for an entire 18 hours straight because hes terrified of him leaving him alone when he dies.

Sure, they've tried to off themselves together a ton already. Making a game out of it a couple hundred or so years ago but now the idea was boring. Theyve tried everything. Explosions, jumping off cliffs, hell, wade handcuffed himself to Logan and shoved him off a boat in the middle of the ocean. Logan almost died but Wade was tired of coming back to life only to drown again 3 times and decided fuck it then dragged logan out before he could actually die because "Ill be damned if your ass gets to leave me! You said eternity mother fucker!" While Logan threw up sea water. "You cant be mad at me because YOU cant die!? This was your idea! I hate drowning! If I wanted too I would have done it years ago!"

And then wade cried because the realization that Logan was only staying here FOR HIM made him extremely emotional. It makes him feel selfish. But "For eternity motherfucker" has been their thing for so long, and a promise is a promise.

So now, here Wade is, his eyes completely glazed over (he has no clue how he can see, he literally is blind but somehow he's not.) Crow feet on the sides of them that Logan absolutly adores when ever he can get Wade to laugh (because god knows they could be 5000 and they will still make each other laugh)

Also- The honeymoon phase never ended. And the fact that down there stopped working about 500 years ago does not stop Wade from slapping his ass- Only to immediately apologize because of how hurt his joints are, knees, ankles, toes, fingers, elbows, wrists, knuckles, hips, you name it- it hurts. Sometimes if Wade is feeling down about how he looks, Logan will whisper something really dirty to him in which Wade will giggle and look at him fondly. "You know damn well you can't do that anymore but im more then willing to try~"

The whole "Wade can't have a sexless relationship" thing was proven false about 300 years ago and while hes frustrated as fuck about it, he's kind of glad. (Though he had an entire crisis when he realized that logan didnt infact stay with him for almost 700 years becuse of his uber good dick skills but rather his personality-)

Theyve been through almost everything together. Even brief apocalypses. Saved the universe more then they could remember, had multiple life times worth of good memories to fondly talk about on rainy days, and have prived time and time again to one another that the other wasn't leaving them. No matter what.

Between the countless fights and arguments, now Logan shouted from his chair "Wade?" After each nap just to be sure he was still alive and here with him, honestly a little more scared of wade leaving him so he wouldn'thave to face the heart break then wade was of logan dying. (That's a ton)

"What?" He'd call back, not wanting to spook him because if too upset Logan will infact stand and force himself to walk. Hell- sometimes wade catches him "walking" puppins by wandering outside with her. Puppins by now is like a 'I went to the backyard and now im tired' kind of older dog, her tail wagging so hard some days that it breaks only to heal itself. Shes been killed by several things. Traffic, coyotes, chocolate, etc but always pops back up. (Tell you what, Wade panicking and hollering for Puppins at midnight after a coyote snatched her, watching her get attacked and taken only for her to come back in one piece, happy go lucky, was something that haunted Logan to this day).

Most nights, they're in bed by 6 pm, and by that I mean they lay there and cuddle for hours until finally their bones joints and muscles stop hurting enough for them to fall asleep.

A thought I would like you to sit on and think about:

When they get old, Poolverine, I mean, and logans easily about 1206 while wades like 1047. Wade obviously doesn't need tonworry about grey hairs and adores logans white hairs, but how would Wade look? Would he get wrinkles? Would he look only 60ish, look much younger than logan since he's almost 50 and looks barely 26? Is he skinner? Just how badly has his body aged? Disregarding comic lore- I wanna know your opinion. Would Logan struggle to walk around? Will the tables turn and he is now part time in a wheel chair? Whats their day like? Cabin in the woods is nice but that requires hunting and long trips to the store. Is puppins old too? Since she's a deadpool shes technically "immortal" too dont you think? How many times a week do they just sit infront of the fire at night, talking about their youth and stories? ... how many funerals have they attended? Do they even bother making friends anymore? Do you think that theyve learned to isolate themsleves from the world and become so codependent that they do absolutely everything together? Do you think in this older state that it takes them longer to heal? Can logan even use his claws anymore or does he soley rely on guns now?

Okay....I have so many thoughts. So many.

So firstly, discussing the way they age. I assume that Wade, because of how his regeneration works, stays the same age. His body always regenerates to that same state- the same age and condition- his body was in when he mutated, which is partly why the cancer is still eating away at his body. I don't think he really will ever age. Maybe his scars change a little over the years, getting rougher and redder as he ages.

I think he does get skinnier- less muscley- purely from them eventually putting up their suits for good and settling in to a more domestic life. I don't think he can put on weight because of the cancer, and I think the chronic pain gets worse too. He has more bad days where he can't really do much but lay in a warm bathtub and wait for the heat to fix his aching muscles.

If he does age though? If his body finally gives in and let's him get older? He is probably a mess, both physically and mentally. Wade feels bittersweet about gaining wrinkles and his hearing worsening. On one hand, he's glad that the world has allowed him the luxury, on the other? He hates that he lookes even worse than he did before. The scars start to turn brighter shades of red, the skin wrinkling and sagging in places, and it makes him even more insecure of how he looks.

Either way, his healing gets a little slower and he can feel the cancer trying to fight it's way in.

Mary Puppins is much the same. She doesn't really get older, just gets tired a little easier, and shakes if it gets too cold.

Logan? Logan ages SLOWLY. Very slowly. Eventually, though, he's getting aches and pains like everyone else, accompanied by wrinkles and joint pain. The claws stop working at some point. They refuse to cooperate with him, and eventually, he gives up. The constant ache of them sat idle causes his hands to shake slightly, and it's something he doesn't really like talking about. The one thing he was good at, and now? Now they don't even work.

I think Logan would panic a little at the idea of ageing- used to practically being the same for so long- but he would accept it pretty quickly. He would be kinda glad at the idea of finally getting older, finally being able to do something 'normal', even if it means he isn't as fast or agile anymore. They aren't sure if it's the poison from the adamantium or not, but his breathing gets a little weaker too. His healing slows down too, and it takes alot longer to heal from the tiniest cut- which he assumes is because his healing factor is trying to deal with the whole aging thing.

Wade would be the one having a full on meltdown. After so long, he finally had someone who 'matched his freak'- someone who truly understood his pain and trauma, someone who wouldn't die on him- and now, here he was, staring at the first sign of a grey hair on Logan's head. It reminds him that one day, he really will be alone, no matter what. Logan isn't going to be around forever, but Wade will.

Once Wade isn't panicking about Logan getting old, and once they realise that Logan is going to continue to deteriorate, they move to a little one floor house just outside of the city. There are no stairs, which helps Logan's aching hips, and the walk in shower (you know what I mean) is ready for when neither of them can get in and out of the tub anymore. They make sure Mary has a nice comfortable bed next to the fireplace, and Logan gets a big enough couch that him and Wade can fall asleep comfortably if they need too.

They don't really talk to anyone after all these years. After watching everyone they love pass away, they don't feel the need to make friends anymore. Logan and Wade both can't deal with the idea of watching someone they love waste away again- not now that they are both ageing themselves.

All they care about now is eachother- and Mary Puppins- and they take care of eachother as best as they can. Logan makes Wade heat packs and helps him clean up whe he vomits, Wade helps Logan move about when he isn't in a wheelchair and massages the aching muscles in between his knuckles.

It's tough, but they manage. They survive by keeping the other alive, and even though they know it'll end badly- either Logan is going to die and leave Wade, or they are both going to die together- it never stops their need to keep eachother safe.

Logan has to watch Wade as the cancer slowly starts to fight back and win, while Wade has to watch Logan age and the possibility of the poison taking over.

(Not the most coherent post, but I had so many random thoughts about it that I wanted to put in here lol, so here it is. Also GREAT QUESTION??? LIKE YES?? GIMME OLD MAN LOGAN AND OLD WADE HAVING TO LOOK AFTER EACHOTHER??)

[deyadee]

Do You Have Kids?

I just thought of this from the other day, so maybe I should’ve just put this on the other post but fuck it.

I like to have fun with the kids at bat are in line when I’m working. Even if I don’t want kids, it’s nice to give them a sucker or see them smile because I feel like I relate to them more than people my age. Especially with all the borderline model looking girls with their gaggle of friends like it’s a fucking 2010s pop music video. So anyway, I do my usual joke shit with the kid and this older woman in line behind him smiles and says “You’re so good with children, do you have kids of your own?”

I know she had good intentions, and it was meant to be a compliment but it fucking stung like she came up and called me a fat fucking pig. Any time I’m a little happy I gotta get fucking shot down like- alright well I can’t come up with anything that wouldn’t be a shitstorm and a half from Twitter so I’ll just let you fill in the blanks. Thanks for fucking reminding me that no matter how good I treat people, no matter how much good I try to put into the world or at least try to cheer myself up during work that I will always always be fucking ugly and look older than I am. I already feel disconnected from my generation as it is, how fun does it fucking feel also that no one can tell you’re 20? And yes I know some people have kids early but FUCKING 20?!

My fucking combination of having dark circles under my eyes, pale skin, deep voice and y’know being a fatass makes me seem like I’m older. I already know I’m ugly, but knowing that anyone around my age doesn’t see me as an equal fucking hurts.

Any dating site, any fucking person who I could connect with instantly sees me as an adult. I know, 20 is an adult, but I feel like I’m already missing out on something other people aren’t yet…

There’s never any fucking benefit of looking older for me. Fuck alcohol. Fuck cigarettes. Fuck any of that fucking bullshit. There’s not a goddamn motherfucking cocksucking thing on this goddamn earth that is positive for me that comes with being fucking ugly and looking old. I thought maybe it’s just because I’m always with my sisters and a mom and daughter are more common to see than two sisters- but fucking no. No goddamn fucking fucks goddamn motherfucking shit doubts about this fucking thing! I’M FUCKING UGLY. Nowadays, you think someone my age would see the ugly fucking hog with high maintenance and choose them over literally goddamn anyone else?! GOD I FUCKING WANT TO DRILL A FUCKING HOLE IN MY GODDAMN MY FUCKING SKULL THERE’S NO FUCKING REASON IN LIVING IF YOURE GOING TO SUFFER EVERH FUCKING DAY TO THE BITTER END IF YOURE FUCKING UGLY JUST FUCKING KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE LIFE DOESNT GET FUCKING BETTER. GOD FUCKING HATE YOU. OF COURSE YOUR FUCKING MOM TOOK A SJOT LOAD OF TYLENOL FURING HER FUCKING PREGANNCY YOU FAT GODDAMN RETAR I CANT FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE

Ooh did I forget to mention? My mom took only and I mean only Tylenol during pregnancy. So I guess all those fucking bitches in Culinary were fucking right. Fucking ADHD and possible Autism! FUCKING AMAZING FUCKING GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING AMAZING

[roughentumble]

man, this game is. bad. at making the exiles or the uprising sympathetic

im usually the most person-first, bleeding heart, anti-government person when playing games, but literally the initiative is just. Right.

"i didnt like how they were playing god, deciding who to wake up[from stasis] when" ok well there was an emergency, like 70% of their people are just Missing, they have limited water and food and supplies, so they had to wake up only the most essential personnel that are capable of dealing with those problems without being a drain on unthinkably limited resources.

"you should tap this natural gas pocket instead of the river, and posion the atmosphere you just started restoring, so our Free Settlement can continue! we didnt come to andromeda to wait on ORDERS, to take things slow and move at THEIR pace, we came out here to settle!!!" ok well im not doing environmental harm because you couldnt stand to read a book for a month before getting assigned to a viable outpost. you want to survive on your own. Survive.

like i dont have a PROBLEM with them setting out on their own, but thehre so stupid about it and have the worst reasoning!!!!! and the game never shows the initiative's conditions to be hellish to live in(other than the resource problems and the kett attacking, but that's true in or out of the initiative), or their rules to be draconian or unreasonable. even the protestors demanding their families get woken up first, angry that i chose science outposts instead of military, like-- motherfucker WE HAVE NO RESPURCES, shut up and wait your turn!! oh my god!!! i can only imagine how distressing it would be to be awake while your mother remains in stasis, but are you that unable to look outside your own situation that you dont realize EVERYONE ELSE IS IN YOUR EXACT POSITION TOO??? the majority of people arent awake!!! BECAUSE WE CANT FEED THEM. do you want mommy to starve to death???

banging my head against the wall. i understand the plight of missing a loved one in stasis. i understand how incredibly distressing that must be. but why are you so fucking stupid about it.

[systlin]

I saw a thread on reddit with a bunch of guys stroking each others egos because they claim men can beat professional weight lifters and martial artists who are women, just because they are "naturally stronger" thanks to testosterone. It's been bothering me ever since, surely that cant be the case??

PPPPFFFFTTTTH

Okay nonnie. So. I've been in martial arts for...shit. Started when I was fifteen, and I'm turning thirty-four in two days, so. A couple years now. Been helping teach for years now.

I have met these sort of men. I have fought these sort of men. Our master liked to straighten these sort of dipshits right out, and he liked to do it by saying, mildly, "Okay" and having them spar me or one of the blackbelts who happened to be a lady.

I stand 5' 8". I've held pretty steady, weight wise, at 145-150 pounds ish for years, though people regularly think I weigh maybe 120. Some of these big weightlifter motherfuckers were four inches taller and had probably a hundred pounds on me. Physically stronger? Absolutely.

I stomped them flat. Destroyed them. Fucking annihilated them. Wasn't even close. Wasn't even difficult. Steamrolled over their big meathead asses as casually as you please. Same when they fought Miss R, who has about 15 pounds over me. You could see their egos shatter in real time. You could see the moment, in their eyes, when they realized that they Fuckt Up. It was what is good in life.

So yes this is a load of horseshit and please send these dipfucks my way so that I can play with them it's so fun.

[baezen]

okay cousin peer review below the cut

lew: you want me to read what?

ellie: open your mind, lew

steph: so u know top gun: maverick right?

lew nods

steph: right so this has all the characters but is a western/cowboy fanfic

lew: you lost me

ellie: just fucking read it lewis i guarantee you’ll like it

lew: but i have to pretend i’m a woman

steph: i’ll write you a gay fic to make up for it

lew: fine but you’re on thin ice

ellie and lewis start reading

lew: pause. okay so. this says part 3 why haven’t you made me read the first one?

steph: you can if you want or i can summarise for you

cue me telling them what they’ve missed previously on don’t hang’em til noon

lew: okay i’m reading

ellie: if she kills a plant she’s like me for real

lew: yeah i have to come over and water the plants regularly

steph; the bathroom plant has seen better days. you haven’t been around in a while, lew

lew: OH HES A FLIRT OOOHHHH

ellie cackling: i already want him so bad

steph: you can have jake i want bob

lew sighing: women

lew is currently distracted by one of the cats

ellie: lewis put the fucking cat down

steph: he’s asking if she prefers a man’s face to be clean shaven or stubbly

lew: stubble all day every day

ellie: nah clean i don’t like chafing

lew: i shot the sheriff but i did not shoot the deputy

ellie: I CANT READ THAT FAST I HAVE DYSLEXIA STOP SPOILING

steph laughing bc i’m even further ahead than lew

ellie: oh it’s only because the sheriff is at dinner that’s fine. asshole. bring back jake

lew: omg his nickname

ellie: SHUT UP IM GETTING THERE

steph: right lew??

lew: that boy is trouble. she’s going to fuck him right?

steph: that’s the plan

ellie: THEY FUCK? YOU WANT ME TO READ PORN?

steph: not yet omg liz has a plan. im aware of the plan. smut is not apart of the plan YET

ellie: liz?

lew: ‘ello guvna

steph staring into the camera like i’m on the office

lew: why are the children important? fuck then kids

steph: because liz is writing more for another character of the daggers, rooster, and birdie who is gonna be the teacher

ellie: don’t spoil it

steph: ITS CONTEXT MOTHERFUCKER

lew: good soup. i’m done. can i go get my water samples now?

steph: thoughts first?

lew: not bad but not gay enough. would read again

ellie: bye lew

steph: bye lew. thanks for reading!

ellie: omg she likes him. he’s mine bitch

steph: thoughts?

ellie: i need more. send me the whole series and i’ll read when i get home

steph: done and done

conclusion: lew thinks it’s not gay enough, ellie loves it and needs more, and im yelling at this whole interaction

Don't Hang'em Til Noon: Chapter Three

Don't Hang'em Til Noon: Chapter Three

Pairing: Jake "Hangman Seresin x Reader

Summary: Jake "Hangman" Seresin is a notorious leader within the Dagger posse of the old western territories of the United States. You, a recently orphaned socialite from the eastern seaboard, find yourself swept off to live with your older brother who has set down roots in said western territory. Determined to to make the best of your situation, what will you do when said outlaw sets his sights on you?

Warnings: Jake flirting, suggestive language, talk of theft, talk of hangings. I think that's it.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: I know y'all have been begging for it, so here you go! Just a reminder to everyone that my 100 follower celebration is going on through the rest of the weekend, which means my ask box is open for requests of drabbles or just to talk about those fine af Top Gun men! As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are greatly appreciated! 18+ ONLY!! Find me on AO3 under soldier_pilot!

Series Masterlist

If there was one thing you absolutely hated, it was the heat. You hated how it made you sweat. You hated how it made everything stick to you. Most of all, you hated how you could never seem to find any relief. You mulled over all of this as you stabbed into the dirt beneath your fingers, making a hole just big enough to plant your newly acquired seeds. Hondo had been excited to show you the new variety he had gotten in the previous morning, and you had eagerly purchased multiple packs.

Now, you were covered in dirt, sweat dripping down your brow. You leaned back, tilting your head towards the sky as you wiped your arm across your forehead. Your temples pounded from the exertion, and you were sure most of your hair had come out of the bun you had secured it in that morning.

Your mother had loved gardening, and she would always drag you outside to the small patch of land your father had set aside to do so. She taught you the different names of the flowers she kept and how to tend to the different vegetables.

“They’re just like people, Scout,” she had said with a smile, plucking a ripened tomato from the vine in front of her. She had handed it to you to put in the basket, and you had done so obediently. “Every single plant has different needs, and if those needs aren’t met, the plant can’t flourish.”

You hadn’t understood what she had meant by that, and you still weren’t sure you did as you kneeled on the ground. Sure, different species of plants needed different amounts of things like water or sunlight, but two tomato plants should be treated the exact same way in order to grow. You weren’t much of a gardener, however, but you had taken it upon yourself to continue to do it after she had passed. The thought of nothing growing when your mother had always worked so hard to make sure life was ever plentiful caused a pain in your chest and tears to prickle behind your eyes.

A low whistle caught you off guard, and you jumped. Snapping your head to the far side of the fence that surrounded your tiny garden, was none other than Jake Seresin.

“Well, aren’t you a vision?” he drawled, looking you up and down. You felt a different kind of heat rise on your cheeks as you fixed him with a scowl.

“What do you want, Jake?”

He pushed off from the side of the fence and casually strolled to where you had left the gate propped open. You moved to stand, attempting to brush the dirt off of your skirt in the process.

“Just thought I’d come and see how my best girl was doin’ today,” he said, shooting you a wink. Your lips pursed as you took him in.

“I’m not your girl,” you said finally, taking in the stubble that was starting to grow on his chin. “You need to shave.”

Jake hummed as you pushed past him and towards the barn. “You don’t like it? Martha told me last night while we were down at the saloon that she thought I should grow it out. Said it would make me look rugged.”

“Then grow it out,” you grumbled. “I really don’t care either way.”

Jake came up to your side and fixed you with a mirthful stare. “You don’t have an opinion at all on it?”

“None whatsoever.”

“That’s strange,” he chuckled. “Most girls have an opinion one way or the other. The ones who like their men clean shaven like it ‘cause it gives their men a nice, boy next door kind of charm that’s hard to resist. The ones who like a little growth, though…”

You opened the door to the barn, but Jake stepped in front of you, halting your movement. A sly grin had broken out on his face, and he leaned down to whisper in your ear. He was so close, you could smell the mix of smoke and and fresh linen on his clothes. It was an oddly comforting smell. His lips brushed against your ear and you felt a shudder run up your spine as he said, “they like how it feels against their skin when we’re alone.”

A beat of silence passed between you two before Jake pulled away from you slowly, looking at you with an amused smirk. You scowled up at him before pushing past him and into the barn.

“You’re insufferable,” you hissed, moving towards the ladder to the second floor where you kept the hay.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, darlin’,” he laughed as you began to climb the ladder. You looked over at him with a sour look, and he huffed another laugh. “I was talkin’ about whether or not you like your men clean shaven, sweetheart.”

“I really haven’t, Mr. Seresin,” you said as you hoisted yourself up onto the ground of the second floor. Jake followed you up the ladder and stopped when he saw you attempting to pick up a rather large bale of hay. He rushed to your side, grabbing it from your hands and walking over to the edge of the floor.

“I don’t need your help,” you protested. Jake threw the hay down onto the first floor with a loud thump and turned back to look at you with a scowl of his own.

“Yeah, well,” he starts, already moving to grab another bale, “you’re getting it.”

You huffed but allowed him to throw down the second bale. He turned to you as if to ask if he needed to get another one, and you shook your head. He allowed you to move down the ladder first before following suit. Once you two were on the ground floor, you moved to start dispersing the hay amongst the stables for the horses. You heard Jake scoff behind you, and before you could even touch the hay, you felt a pair of hands land on your waist.

“Jake!” you screeched as he picked you up. Turning with you in his arms, he sat you down on the workbench that had been shoved against one of empty stable doors. You moved to stand back up, but Jake shoved you down gently by your shoulders.

“Stay,” he commanded, giving you a look that left no room for argument. You huffed, but complied, watching him as he began to work.

“Does your brother know you’re doing all of this?” he grumbled.

You rolled your eyes. “Of course he does.”

“He hasn’t thought to hire any ranch hands?”

“He’s working on that part,” you mumbled. “Besides, it’s not like there’s much to do around here yet, and I am more than capable of doing it all for the time being.”

“Right,” Jake responded sardonically. “And when you keel over from exhaustion, then what?”

“That won’t happen.”

“Sure it won’t,” he said, throwing the last bit of hay into the final stall. He dusted his hands off and walked over to stand back in front of you. Placing his hands on either side of you, he leaned in so that his warm breath ghosted over your face. A smirk tugged on his lips. “So, do I get some kind of reward for helping you out today?”

“What is it you want?” you asked suspiciously, eyes flickering down to his lips momentarily.

“Let’s see,” he hummed, thumb stroking over the back of your hand where it rested on the table. He leaned in even closer. “I can think of a few things.”

“Don’t,” you said, putting a hand on his chest and pushing him back. Jake moved away only slightly. “I don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”

“And what kind of idea would that be, pretty girl?” he smirked.

“The kind that can ruin my reputation.”

Jake scoffed out a laugh, and you frowned. “I’m serious, Jake. A woman’s reputation is all she has in this world.”

Jake studied you for a second. “I think you have more to offer this world than just your reputation, sweet girl.”

“Yes, well,” you stumbled, feeling your cheeks flush yet again from the intensity of his gaze. “You would be one of the few people to think so.”

“That’s a cryin’ shame,” he murmured, reaching up to push a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His hand lingered, almost cupping your cheek as he stared at you. He really was so unfairly handsome.

“You should go,” you whispered, eyes darting between his own.

Jake stroked your cheek slowly. “Yeah? You sure you don’t want me to stay.”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, almost breathlessly. Clearing your throat and shaking your head in an attempt to clear it, you said more firmly, “I mean, yes. I need to get ready for dinner at Maverick’s tonight.”

Jake gave one last stroke of his thumb to your cheek before pulling away completely. He fixed you with a mischievous grin. “Need any help getting ready?”

“Jake.”

“I’m only teasin’, pretty girl,” he laughed, already moving to leave the barn. Looking over his shoulder and back at you, he gave you one last wink. “Don’t be a stranger, Scout.”

Maverick and Penny’s home was humble, but no less spacious than your own. Maverick was a kind man with an air of assuredness about him that put any of your worries about your brother’s ranch at ease.

“I’ll help him every step of the way, y/n,” he said with a smile.

“Please, Maverick,” you had smiled back, “call me Scout.”

Two other men had joined your group for dinner that night - Sheriff Tom “Iceman” Kazansky and U.S. Marshall Beau “Cyclone” Simpson. Sheriff Kazansky was a quiet man, and you learned that he and Maverick had a friendship that spanned back decades.

“I wasn’t going to let this scoundrel found a town without someone there to make sure it didn’t all go to hell,” the sheriff had laughed. Maverick had rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly at his old friend.

“I was a bit of a wild card back in those days,” he admitted.

“‘A bit’ is the understatement of the century,” laughed Kazansky before launching into a story about the time Maverick had taken it upon himself to go bull riding.

“So,” Penny had started once the laughter had died down. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your company tonight, Mr. Simpson?”

The marshall finished chewing his food before answering. “Well, ma’am. I’ve been tasked with rounding up a group of wanted outlaws that have started making a name for themselves out here in the western territories.”

“Oh?” Maverick questioned, eyebrows shooting up on his forehead.

“Yes,” Simpson continued. “A group calling themselves “the Daggers,” in fact.”

You felt your blood run cold. Taking a steadying breath, you spoke up. “The Daggers, marshall?”

“Yes, miss. They’ve stirred up quite the ruckus over the past couple of years. They robbed a bank about a hundred miles north of here just a few months ago.”

“Really?” you breathed, setting your fork down. Simpson offered you a reassuring smile.

“I’m sure you have nothing to worry about, miss,” he said. “We’ll have in custody in no time.”

“So, what brings you here to our small town?” prodded Kazansky, leaning back in his chair.

“Well, the word is that this town is where they like to come and set up shop. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

“If I did,” the sheriff smirked, “you’d be the first to know.”

“What do you plan on doing when you catch them?” you asked.

“We’re going to hang’em,” Simpson answered plainly. Your heart stopped, and you felt your eyes grow wide before you could stop them. You heard Penny’s breath catch and Maverick became eerily still as you all stared at the marshall.

Mr. Simpson, to his credit, seemed to grow uncomfortable at the sudden change in atmosphere. With a clear of his throat, the marshall stood and offered Penny a smile. “This was a mighty fine meal, ma’am, but I’m afraid I’ve got some work I need to be getting back to.”

“Of course,” Penny smiled. With a nod to the table, Beau Simpson turned and walked out of the house.

Maverick groaned, resting his face in his hands. “I’m going to kill those kids.”

“Pete,” Penny started, but he shook his head.

“I can’t keep bailing them out, Penny. I don’t know how many more favors I can call in.”

“I might have a few,” grumbled Kazansky. “But nothin’ I can guarantee.”

You gulped. “How many times have you had to rescue them?”

Maverick bit out a humorless laugh as Kazansky grimaced next to him.

“Enough times to where that’s how Jake earned the nickname ‘Hangman,’” Maverick stated, casting you a solemn look. You felt the color drain from your face. You weren’t sure why this whole situation made you feel sick. Perhaps it was due to the mentions of the gallows. You had seen hangings before, and you never understood the amusement people got from going to watch them. You found them horrible, feeling nauseous at the memories of the bodies as they writhed in the air.

“Are you alright, Scout?” Penny asked quietly, noticing the change in your demeanor. You took a deep breath and offered her a small smile.

“Yes, I’m fine,” you replied, turning to look back at Maverick who continued talking.

“That boy has been on the business end of a rope more times than I can count. I keep tellin’ him to keep his nose out of where it doesn’t belong, but does he listen to me?” he asked with a shake of his head.

“Maybe he just needs something to help keep him grounded and out of trouble,” Benjamin offered.

“Something,” Penny hummed, casting you a knowing glance, “or someone?”

Sheriff Kazansky let out a booming laugh as Maverick chuckled at his wife’s suggestion. “The day Jake Seresin hangs up his womanizing ways is the day I eat my hat,” he said, tone filled with mirth. Penny smiled knowingly.

“Would you like it stewed or fried, honey?”

“I’ll let the chef decide,” Maverick had scoffed. Penny looked like she was going to say something else, but you cut her off.

“Maverick, I wanted to talk to you about the children in this town.”

“What about’em?” he smiled.

“Well,” you started, “I noticed that they seem to be running around town all hours of the day. Shouldn’t they be in school?”

Maverick grimaced. “Yes, they should, but unfortunately we don’t have a schoolhouse, and we don’t have anyone who knows the first thing about teaching.”

“I see,” you murmured. Maverick offered you another smile.

“I promise, we’re working on it. Have you thought about teaching?”

“Goodness, no,” you laughed with a shake of your head. “I don’t think I’d have the patience for it.”

“That’s a shame,” he replied. “Well, I’ll guess we’ll keep lookin’ then.”

The rest of dinner passed by quickly, and before you knew it, both you and Benjamin were bidding farewell to the older couple.

“Come by anytime, you hear?” Penny called after you as you made your way home. Benjamin wished you a good night before retiring to his room, and for the first time that evening, you were left alone with your thoughts. You washed your face in the basin you kept in your room before quickly changing into your night dress. You cracked the window open in hopes that the cool, night breeze would offer your heated skin some relief. You snuffed out your candle and moved to lay in bed. Staring up at your ceiling, you couldn’t help but to think back to the conversation with Marshall Simpson. You thought about the things he said Jake and his friends had done.

“That man,” you growled to yourself. “That stupid, stupid man.”

You thought of how infuriating said man could be with his attempts at flirting, his snarky comments, his broad chest, his surprisingly soft fingers that held your cheek oh so gently…

You felt a burst of warmth pool in your stomach as you thought about how soft his lips had been on the shell of your ear, and how rough his stubble would feel pressed against your-

“Stop it,” you hissed at yourself, placing your pillow over your face and yelling into it. You laid there for a second, willing your thoughts to stop focusing on the man you were sure you hated more than anything. He was a scoundrel, after all. You placed your pillow back in its original position, closing your eyes with a deep breath. Sleep soon found you, dreams filled with green eyes and quiet sighs of your name falling from his lips.

[lady-une]

They Always Leave

This is something I wrote just to process my feelings about a guy. Nothing fanfic related at all. Honestly probably just a pile of emotions horribly written. But if you read it enjoy. It made me cry.

Trigger warning that this does mention drug use but honestly this stuff isn’t a drug.

Loud laughter and music could easily have been heard by anyone who happened to drive by or park near the crazy looking Toyota. For inside the Toyota held three friends, who were just doing their normal Scooby gang shit of smoking and listening to music. Their bellies were full having just engorged themselves on wings, cheese curds, and waffle fries.

The night was setting up to be a normal night for the trio, nothing to crazy. The only thing out of the ordinary was that a special appearance was to be made by a man who once partook in these normal nights. A man who’s laughter lifted one of the girls spirit. A man who did stupid shit all the time just to make people laugh. A man who’s darkness matched Alice’s. He was everything she wanted all rolled up in one stupid motherfucker.

When Alice had first met Caleb he was just some random guy who had tagged along with another guy her best friend had been seeing. Everyone knew of him as alibi, he was just some stupid redneck man. Not at all what Alice was attracted to. Yet the more time she spent with him the more that stupid redneck grew on her. She told herself it was nothing, chalked her emotions up to him just being a challenge. She knew he didn’t like big girls, he preferred his woman small and red headed. It was fine, everyone had their preference in a mate. Hell Alice had her own and this man didn’t hit any requirement.

But something changed. The playful teasing and remarks changed. She started to see him differently. An attraction started to slowly build deep in her gut. Small little hugs became more. Being so close to him that she could feel his breath on her cheek as they spoke silly things to one another about what they were doing. The urge to kiss him started to grow. The day dreams of him professing his attraction started to become recurring. The way he looked at her, it made her second guess everything. Was that smile different? Did he always follow me with his eyes? She started to ask around to see if anyone else had noticed anything or if it was all in her girly imagination. Some said he was just being friendly and a few said he probably had feelings too.

Alice had a way of showing her affection. Some call it a love language but in all honesty it was just childhood trauma and her way of trying to buy affection. To keep someone from leaving, because Alice knew they all left in the end. She had slowly started to gift him things. It started out small, a sex toy since he had been in a two year dry spell. She had taped it up with two containers of gorilla tape. She had joked saying it was to mimic being at a bar and having to work for that piece of ass. Then she had found out his favorite beer. Of course it would be a seasonal one, just like her who had a love of a hard to find seasonal liquor. She checked daily for the beer to come in stock and finally when it did she bought 3 cases knowing it wouldn’t last long but it would put a smile on his face.

For his birthday she had requested the day off work. The idea had formed to drive the hour long drive to his job and tape his truck up with clear wrap and then attach birthday balloons. Then meet him and his friend Greg at the bar for a birthday lunch. There she would give him his gift, a shirt. Nothing extravagant, just one from his favorite online brands that supported the troops. Yet that whole plan had been lost. Gone in an instant. Lies and deceit had caused her to part ways with her once close friend Greg. Caleb was a causality as her best friend had called it. Alice hated it, she didn’t want to part from Caleb.

The birthday shirt had sat days in her room at the end of her bed. Still in the delivery packaging. Alice would have just dropped it off in the bed of his truck had she known his address. Instead after a night of smoking and drinking she had finally texted him. Letting him know she had his gift, letting him know how much she missed him. With the dawn of the next day came sobriety and realization of how stupid she was. Quickly opening the chat she saw he had not seen the messages, this was her chance to right the wrong. With a click of her finger she unsent the messages to Caleb. It wasn’t until later in the day that Caleb had finally opened the chat up and saw that she had unsent the messages and called her out on it.

Alice confessed that she had texted him some stupid ramblings about the boxing match she had seen. A bold face lie but there was no way in hell she would confess her feelings to him sober. Instead she lied and then asked to meet so she could give him his birthday gift early. He had agreed to meet her while she was out with her friends. A quick drive by and it would be fine. Or that’s what Alice had told herself.

The margarita she had in the restaurant had calmed her nerves. The devils lettuce she was smoking had made her even more calm. This would be fine, she repeated her mantra “it’s fine” over and over in her head. A quick in and out.

It wasn’t long before she received the text that he was pulling up and asked where to park. She told him to look for the Yoda mobile and loud music. He replied back with a simple “LOL” and then she heard his loud truck before she saw it. Looking at her friends she smiled before getting out of the car with the gift. Caleb had parked two spots to the left of car and was climbing out of it by the time she reached him. The man wore his standard wranglers and brown boots with his KORN t-shirt and hat.

Alice laughed before nervously saying, “I should have bet on KORN instead of the fuck your feelings shirt.”

“That shirt was dirty, this was the nearest shirt.” Caleb replied with a half smile on his face.

Alice looked up at him trying to decipher what his eyes were possibly saying behind his dark sunglasses. A memory of a time earlier that summer where she yelled at him to take those damn shades off so she can see that he was looking at her while she talked to him popped in her head. To an outsider it would look like she was being mean to him but that was how they were. They would loudly bicker and cuss one another out with a smile on their faces.

“Well now you have a new shirt. Sorry I didn’t get you those jeans you wanted, you know shit just got weird and I felt weird texting you to ask about the jeans.”

“You didn’t have to.” Caleb replied as he took the colorfully bright pink Disney princess bag from Alice’s outstretched hand. He looked at the bag and back to her with a smile.

“Don’t give me that look, I saw it at target and the damn thing screamed ‘Caleb’ so I had to buy it. Now go on and open it!”

Caleb shook his head as he opened the bag up, sifting through the pink and blue tissue paper Alice had stuffed into it. When Caleb finally had the shirt in hand he tossed the princess bag into the bed of his truck and unfolded the shirt to hold it up and inspect it.

“I fucking love it Alice!” He shouted as he looked at the shirt that had bullets in the shape of a hand flicking you off.

“I wasn’t sure if I should get that one or the one with all the fish on it that said size matters. But Greg said to get this one.”

“Well I love it, thank you!”

Caleb opened his arms and Alice fell right into them wrapping her arms around his back and taking comfort in his hold. It had been too long since she got to hold her favorite person. She often dreamt of him holding her and it felt just as good as her dreams.

“Come on Alice, say your goodbyes. He is a casualty.” Yelled out Alice’s best friend from the back of the Toyota affectively killing Alice’s moment with Caleb.

“Casualty?” Caleb asked.

Alice pulled away but held on with just one hand to his KORN shirt, “Just ignore her.”

“Mmmhmm. How are things going with that?” Caleb inquired.

Before Alice could give him an answer her other friend yelled from the driver seat in his Yoda voice “Say your goodbyes and lets go.”

Alice looked from Caleb to her friends in the car and stomped her foot as she yelled “I wanna keep this one!”

The car of friends broke out in a laughter knowing that she was referencing a TikTok they had all seen hundreds of times. They thought she was being funny, they knew she had a crush on Caleb but she had meant it. She didn’t want him to be a casualty. She wanted him to stay in her life.

“You should probably get going, I don’t wanna hold you up.” Caleb said with a slight chuckle.

“I don’t want to. Can’t you stay awhile?” Alice asked looking up at him through her sunglasses. She could feel the tears wanting to come but held them back.

“You know I cant.”

“Please.” She begged.

“I have to get home.”

“Live a little.”

“I do live a lot but just not with you.”

“Same excuse every time.”

“Get going now before they leave your ass.”

Alice grabbed on to his shirt with the other hand. “I don’t want to.”

The tears were welling up inside her eyes, she didn’t know how much longer she could hold off. She hated crying in front of people. She saw it as a weakness. The many years as a child being told to stop crying or she would be given a reason to cry. Then as an adult being told by the man she was seeing that crying was a weakness and that she need to toughen up and that she wasn’t allowed to cry and be weak. She knew it was perfectly fine to cry and it was not a weakness. It was something that she told her kids all the time when they felt sad. That it was normal to cry and that you should cry and work through your emotions. Yet it was something she preached but never practiced herself. She had four kids at home to watch over, she didn’t have time to be weak.

“Thank you for the gift Alice, I really do like it.” Caleb said as he held onto one of her arms.

“I’m glad you do.” The first traitorous tear slip passed her eyes and she knew the instant Caleb saw it because his face lost all playfulness.

“Alice…” he gently called her name.

“I know its stupid. You don’t gotta tell me that. But I know the minute I let go and you get in your truck I wont see you again. All those plans we had will be gone. Who will take me to the gun shop to buy my first gun? Who will make sure that the sales man doesn’t take advantage of me? Who will help me learn to shoot it correctly? Why couldn’t you like me? God I sound like a stupid female right now. But we would have been great together you know. You matched my level of darkness, we matched each other in so many ways.”

“Alice..”

“You know it. They know it. Everyone knows it. Everyone always said that we should just get together but we both would just laugh but deep down I wanted it. God did I want it but you just couldn’t get past that I was a bigger girl. Boy do I feel fucking stupid on an epic proportion right now.”

“Alice everyone has their preference, you always said we were friends because you knew I didn’t like you like that.”

“Of course I did because I didn’t wanna lose you. Better to be friends then not have you in my life. Funny how now I wont even have that.”

The tears were freely falling at this point. Alice could no longer hold her head high, instead she looked down at the ground. She couldn’t look at that stupid face of his, that face that she knew would haunt her dreams for many days to come.

“Alice you will find someone so much better then me. My stupid ass wouldn’t make the best partner for you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. Look at me Alice.”

Alice shook her head, how could she look at him she was feeling pathetic at the moment. Crying because a man doesn’t want her. Caleb didn’t give her a chance to wallow in her own misery, he put his new shirt on the side of his truck bed and grabbed her face lifting it up to his. He lifted her sunglasses and looked at her tear stained face.

“Don’t cry Alice.”

“Shut up you don’t get to tell me what to do.”

Caleb took his thumbs and brushed the tears away from her eyes. “I’m not someone to cry about.”

“To me you are.”

“You gotta let me go Alice. Move on. It was fun while it lasted and we will always have our memories.”

“Do they teach you these bullshit excuses when you guys are in school? I swear it’s the same fucking thing just said by a different guy.” Alice yelled angrily through her tears.

“Don’t be mad.”

“Don’t tell me what to feel.”

“Then don’t act like a spoiled brat.”

“Then don’t act like an ass who is un-attracted to fat women.”

“We aren’t going to get anywhere on this. Please don’t be mad and please don’t cry over me.”

Alice knew she was being mad because she was hurt and that she shouldn’t be. She knew she should be enjoying these last few moments with Caleb. With shaky hands Alice reached for Caleb’s sunglasses and lifted them up to see his face. Caleb was an expert at hiding his feelings, years in the military had made him hard.

“Why did you do it Alice?” Caleb quietly asked.

“You act like I did it on purpose. I didn’t plan on falling for you. If you weren’t so fucking perfect and if your darkness didn’t call to mine we would be safe.”

“I’m sorry Alice.”

“Me too Caleb.” Alice whispered as more tears fell down her face and she stood on her tippy toes to give him a chaste kiss at the edge of his lips.

Alice tried to smile through her tears and pulled away allowing him room to get back into his truck. With him seated in his truck Caleb rolled down the window and said goodbye before pulling away. Alice watched as the man she wanted nothing more did what all men do…..leave.

[clanoffelidae]

-kicks door in- YALL I FORGOT TO TELL YALL ABOUT THE DRAMA IM STIRRING UP

So I graduated with my bachelors may 2021 right, and I graduated from the honors program at my college. I didn’t find out I had adhd until after graduation so I spent the entirety of my bachelors thinking my inability to focus was a problem with me individually as a person and that I was just lazy and immature and would never be able to grow up.

When I was a freshman we had Honors ‘family meetings’ where a group of freshman were assigned under a sophomore to help us get used to college. Went great! Until the last meeting where one of the honors advisors came by.

He asked if we had any feedback or ideas or concerns and I mentioned that I’d been having trouble remembering assignments for the honors program bc the were on google classroom (for some reason???) rather than blackboard where literally all my other stuff was and I’d missed the deadline for one or two and turned them in late as a result. (Again, I h a d u n d i a g n o s e d a d h d w h i c h i s w e l l k n o w n t o c a u s e m e m o r y p r o b l e m s. Certainly didn’t help that we didn’t ALWAYS have an assignment that week so not only were they out of the way they were irregular too, talk about hell for an ND)

He literally, quite literally, laughed directly in my face and said ‘well have you tried being more responsible?’ And then brushed me off as a lazy teenager.

First of all, dick move regardless. Second of all, I had those problems bc of an undiagnosed neurodevelopmental disorder.

Guess who’s very much graduated now and very much has the medal to show that I completed the honors program and also very much has a prescription for adhd medication to show I’m serious and ALSO sent an email to the head of the honors department that this happened and tl;dr said ‘you failed as advisors and failed me as someone in your program, but I didn’t need you and made it without you, what about the students in your care now who do need you that you may be failing?’

Guess who’s exchanged multiple emails with the head of the program (nice guy, he’s fine and def not the one who was cruel that day, I like him just fine and have never had a problem with him) and he has shared my email with the rest of the advisors (the guy who said it is still theeeerrreeee <— singsong) and we are now coordinating a meeting with me, him, and ALL of the honors advisors to talk more about this??? :)

I am coming for their throats. :)

(I am not going to call out the specific guy bc I refuse to potentially ruin someone’s job over a singular, thoughtless comment over 4 years ago. I’m not that kind of person.)

My message in brief to them will pretty much be:

‘Hey so I was mocked for expressing I had a problem and turns out I had that problem bc of an undiagnosed neurological disorder so 1. Don’t assume you know why a student is having an issue bc maybe THEY don’t even know they just know they have it and 2. What would it matter if it WAS because I was a fresh out of high school teenager who didn’t know how to take care of myself??? How does belittling me at all, nevermind in front of a group of my peers, help resolve the situation when YOU are supposed to be HELPING me as is your JOB DESCRIPTION???

Maybe don’t fucking mock your students????’

Screenshots of some of my first msg, his first response, and a cropped screenshot of his last msg for evidence :)

I legit kicked the honors departments door in and said

‘GUTEN MORGEN MOTHERFUCKERS I GRADUATED AND COMPLETED YOUR PROGRAM AND AM OVER A YEAR OUT OF SCHOOL HAPPILY EMPLOYED SO YOU CANT CLAIM IN SAYING ALL THIS TO TRY AND GET SPECIAL TREATMENT SINCE IM NOT IN YOUR CARE ANYMORE SO WE ARE GOING TO TALK ON MY TERMS NOW.’