#and i cant even be mad at them because i feel so shitty even thinking about people who i know could be dead from suicide by now

[hishighnesstheprincess]

vent in tags

[hecksupremechips]

Rebecca gales has bpd she told me herself

[sugashook]

wade goes "i need you" and he literally grabs logan and is very clear and consistent on it, like i need you, all the time. i think logan needs that clarity and certainty and forwardness..honesty, someone to push him and need him. someone with transparent emotions that will get him out of his head,

and wade needs someone to be there for him no matter what a stable rock. it's like logan's no longer a puzzle piece for war, he's extremely important in wades world, his other half at the moment perhaps (bark)

wolverines entire thing is that he can take great beatings and come back seemingly fine and unaffected its like a very strong closed off person, a fortress that protects his emotions. i think he feels good having people to protect.

but that's also a bad thing because being really strong and feeling like you can take all the bullets you took in your life and bounce them off while at the same time suffering in silence seemingly unaffected by what happened to you is harmful to your psyche. and seeming this way to others as well is even a bigger issue, especially with logan who has the base need to be with people and be there for others.

and for that he NEEDS someone to dig deeper and pierce through his perfect disposition he is NOT easily open and easy going like wade he needs someone to see him and give him a chance and fight for him! wade will make way for himself in someones life, logan will go deeper into himself.

others could see you perfectly "unscathed" all the time and if they don't understand you or try to understand you and how much you can be dealing with complex emotions inside, they will grow resentful,you'll be rejected and treated badly.

wade is very fragile on the other hand, sure he regenerates, but the scars of his trauma are visible and harsh on him, he knows it , everyone knows it.

that's why he's so repulsive to others, his life beat him so hard that he can't control himself with his emotions and it weirds people out, they don't understand it and they get mad,upset,etc.

even scared just by looking at him, you survived trauma, but it shows on you how it affected you and it makes ME uncomfortable, that's pretty scary, you're different and you don't fit in anywhere. they judge him in the opposite way that logan is judged. your overwhelming presence is unnerving to me.

thats why wade hides with his suit his entire face, and the blood. dont notice me,my wounds, and the wounds i give to others. while logans suit screams "notice me!! i'm not okay!! i want people to see me!"

when he regenerates, wades body generates bad body tissue from his skin to his core. and the scars of all that trauma add new trauma so he's constantly re-traumatizing himself and it layers on. he doesn't get stronger or bounce it off himself, bad things such as trauma are just bad they create more bad and he's made out of all the bad things that happened during his life sort of, so he needs a lot of external support.

cause he has no strength left! all the trauma and SLS (shitty life syndrome) is like up to his gills. but he is very joyful and positive despite the harshness of life.

he is a little positivity clown bouncing around in wolverines fortress of solitude.

wolverine can sort of take attacks from life and endure and wade can attack life more easily, he's a positive, up beat, go getter. he loves the world and sees hope in it when there's none. and when the world doesnt love him back ,it crushes him and he cant take it. he doesn't understand how anything he tries he gets hurt by. but he never stops trying :)

logan shuts himself off from the cruel world with his perfect skin and metal bones, but the world has shut off from him as well. wade keeps being hurt and open to the world just like his open wounds and scarred body. even though the world hurts him through his openness.

[yusa-lisaxyuta]

JORDAN LI HOURS OMH

ok guys im sorry i just have some thots i must share about my lord and savior Jordan Li bc oh my GOD

the different genres of Jordan too mmnmsmsnsnhshshsmd

LIKE LIKE LIKE

we have your average roommate!Jordan thats an absolute dick to u bc they want u so bad bro

always pissing u off on purpose with stupidly loud moans, PRAYING it pisses you off enough times after youve had to find refuge in marie or andre's dorms bc wtf

the way theyre so desperate it doesnt make sense anymore i swear

they literally have not even the slightest clue on how to show how much they fucking adore you so they decide to be a dick about it every chance they get because theyre more emotionally fucking constipated than katsuki bakugou himself BUT JORDAN CANT HELP IT!!!! THEY WANT U!!!! JUST U!! ONLY U!!! And they're tight asf when they cant have u!!!! LIKE WHY CANT THEY HAVE U!!!

soon they corner u and confess everything to u while just blindly raging bc they're sick and tired of this shit n at first ur js like "um what" bc you didnt realize at all and thought they hated u

and they say it so condescendingly too??? on some "Stupid fucking freshie, your fuckin' scent is all over my shit. Shit drives me wild, you know what you fuckin do to me? I dont think so. Of fucking course you dont." LIKE AAA???? But in REALITY they're praising EVERYYYYY little thinggggggg. DOWN TO UR SHITTY HANDWRITING WHEN YOU JOT THINGS DOWN?! Fucking perfect to them. But it gets them so mad, they're used to getting what they want. And they dont know how to handle it when they cant-

OH BUT WHEN JORDAN GETS U FINALLY???? OH ITS OVER FOR U POOR THING

you genuinely arent prepared for the type of down bad desperate needy sex you two have your first time together oh my GOD you dont understand

"Mine- fuckin' waited way too long, and fought too hard for this pretty pussy- pussy's mine, heart's mine- shit- can feel the heart in the pussy, mama- fuck-!"

oh no but then we have Mafia!Jordan???? UM HELLO???

(cw/tw: guns used during sex [im sorry something in my head goes wonky with jordan and guns in the same vicinity])

GETTING BENT OVER AND RAILED WITH JORDAN PUTTING A GUN TO UR HEAD???!??! AUUUURRRRR?@?!?!?

no because the dirty talk would be on POINT oh em gee think about it

"Cmon princess- don't fuckin' run. I'll make you regret it- cmon, baby. Take this fuckin' dick- fuckin love this princess cunt."

HELLOOOOOO???? sorry brb i DIED FROM OVULATION

bros makes my ovaries do backflips i swear

AND THE WAY THAT THEY SPOIL YOU?!!?!?! Now see EVERY JORDAN finna apoil tf outta you BUT MAFIA JORDAN OH GOOD GAY GOLLY GUYS. OHHHH GOLLY. The way they're such a fuckin jerk and so cold to everyone else but they make sure you ALWAYS feel like their precious little princess AUUUUGGGHHHH

"I swear, ask me for the price of that shit one more time- just fuckin' get it. Ok? Last fuckin' time i say it. Now let's go, you said you wanted to stop at Prada, right?"

this person would watch you take hours to pick out cute outfits, blow a couple racks on that shit, and watch you skip to the next store happily knowing DAMN well they have every intention to ruin that outfit.....also with the intention of buying you a better one, of course.

BACK TO THE GUNS IM SORRY BUT HEAR ME OUT- someone getting too close to u for their liking and touching you with the cold metal as punishment <3333 i mean they know you only have eyes for them but where's the fun in that, yk?

"Im guessing you like this, huh? Like when others give you attention so i can get like this, baby? If you wanted this you just had to ask... but, 'm mad now.. 'n you're gonna take everything i give you."

gahshshgshagdhsg sorry guys the demons took over im still waiting for s2 of genv 🙏 pls i need more jordan 🙏 🙏 🙏

[eddiegettingshot]

Its funny because at the time I wasnt really that upset with not having a scene with buck apologizing to eddie because it was so heavily implied by the dialogue that he was going to that Im not going to be like buck never apologized because that would be really weird and bad behaviour. And the way it was written (tommy taking eddie to get checked) it made sense that buck might not immediately assault eddie with his presence because at that point he feels that tommy has fully replaced him so eddie doesnt need him or want him around probably. BUT now Im like because of how they chose to write it the ending of the episode makes no sense. Like the maddie buck scene serves no purpose except to prompt buck to act like a normal 30yo. But the “dont do it again” and “I guess I was trying to get his attention” actually make no sense and serve no purpose unless you follow that up with buck getting over himself to apologize. But they cant end the episode with buddie canon obviously so thats why it would have just made much more sense to have buck take eddie to a clinic, have them actually talk about what happened instead of the maddie talk, and then follow that up with the bucktommy kiss scene if thats what they wanted to do. Like eddie didnt even say no to buck taking him to a hospital or whatever tommy was just like ACTUALLY I’ll do it :) he would much prefer I do it instead of either of his closest friends one of which is a paramedic :) which I know because I worked with him for several years and also he just announced he was a paramedic like a minute ago :) like its not like eddie was in a condition where he needed medical attention from the closest hospital immediately buck could have taken him wherever. Like why was tommy acting like that lol

yeah no this episode is sooooo confusing in its writing and structure like. of course buck did apologize but it’s SO. so. incredibly weird to me that he only decides it’s fine to approach eddie and do it once he gets confirmation and a little pressure from tommy (…and if eddie WERE mad was he just. never going to talk to him. or like what was that about). and lmao actually the way tommy acts at the basketball game is one of the things that gave me shitty vibes from him even before the hiatus. i have pretty much always maintained that if they wanted buck to seem normal and wanted me to think he was being (1) normal about eddie (2) not a shitty friend and (3) different than he has in the past, they should have replaced the maddie scene with buck going to eddie’s house, apologizing like a grown-up, hearing from eddie that tommy felt bad about everything, taking the initiative to clear the air with tommy by inviting him over maybe, and then the kiss still could’ve happened pretty much exactly the same way. but for whatever reason buck couldn’t actually talk to eddie and now i’m here like well he’s not acting like someone with a crush he’s just suddenly acting weird about his best friend he spent the entire episode being weird about and that’s not actually resolved by the end.

[fearyandear]

Taking Over (Pet! Gyutaro x Reader)

(Continuing @phantasmiafxndom 's Pet Au with Gyutaro)

OK so, Gyutaro lovers, please read the fic I am linking in case you haven't yet, because what I'm writing is just an add-on to it.

And then if you want you can also read this NSFW one as well 👉 👈

Now for my version of building off of that:

You picked him up from the streets after life made it clear how unwanted he is. Of course he thinks hes disgusting and not worth your kindness let alone even your fucking gaze. His anxiety flares up so badly around you that he hurts himself and scratches at his skin so hard it makes you squirm. When you touch him to get him to stop and when you tell him you hate seeing him bleed, he cries. He can't believe it and goes to hide in a corner and sulk.

Yet with time, patience and more and more coddling- (oh god you're ACTUALLY SPOILING him so much???) he slowly learns to let go of the habit. He is so guilty. He knows- he knows he knows he knows hes a shitty person for allowing you, for taking everything you're giving, for not leaving even though you gave him permission to whenever he felt like it.

You shouldn't be stuck with him, no one deserves to be stuck with him, but he cant help it, he really really can't, when it's YOUR fault that he's growing greedy. That he's becoming more dependent on you. YOUR FAULT.

At least, hat's what he keeps telling himself as he lets his guard down. When he hugs you after waiting for you by the door all day, when he buries his face in your chest and sighs, staying like that as you work, when you go to bed and he lays beside you, unable to sleep until you do because he's so mesmerized.

He loves you he loves you he loves you so much. He can't get enough of the feeling; it's a strong and dangerous addiction now that makes it HURT so much WORSE when after all that growth and bliss, letting himself get comfortable, you come back one day, smelling strongly like another demon.

His deep-rooted paranoia over being let go, over you realizing one day how terrible he really is, getting sick of him and dumping him back out resurfaces in the blink of an eye. He's back to crying and fretting and tearing his skin, grabbing your arms, asking you what happened and why, ready to beg you not to let him go, that he'll do ANYTHING. And even if you reassure him now, and later, and forever, he can't let your words actually get through anymore. It's not enough. It stays with him for the rest of the month.

He's extra clingy. Pushing the boundaries on what he can and can't do. Whining when you raise your voice or try to tell him he can't do something. Guilt tripping you. He doesn't care that he's risking his stay at your house by being this forceful. You promised to be HIS owner. His. HishishisHIS- and that means having to deal with some of these 'annoyances.'

Like every morning now, he won't let you go to work until rubs his scent all over you, repeating the process when you come back home. He will start a 'game' where he will hide your things and not give them back until he's had enough fun with you pleading him. But, worst of all, if you try to sit or lay and relax anywhere, like the couch, floor or bed, he will hold you hostage by keeping you pinned under him demanding that you tell him that he's yours. Telling you that no other demon will be abke to take you away. Thinking of these as (subtle threats) reminders for you not to go looking for one to. After the third time this happens, you get annoyed that he distrusts you this much.

"Yeah, you're mine. And I'm yours. Of course, I'm not getting any other demon. You're my only precious pet and I'm your one and only owner."

You said it. You're HIS.

Just like he always hoped you would. You confirmed it, you confirmed it so you're confirming all his other delusions too.

That you love each other and that means he can push you as much as he wants, right? Because you said so- because you don't mind, because you haven't gotten mad at him! You're so nice, you won't mind hin showing you the depths of his depraved fantasies, right? That he wants more than what you're offering... You won't run away, no, you've been so GOOD to him. You can stand his selfishness.... fuck.

He's planning on it.

Lord fucking help you when his heat kicks back in after that. No more of the mewling demon that was ashamed of it, you wake up to him already on top of you, rutting against you and kissing your neck, telling you he's sorry but- 'It's so painful... he couldn't wait... please, before you go to work?' But one handjob isn't enough anymore, uugh he came too fast- and he's still SO HARD. Come oon~ he wants you again, please please, before you go- let him.... just... touch you in return? Again and again, you have tondrag yourself to the door, struggling to finally get out because he's behind you, whining and thrusting behind you, against your thighs, groaning in your ear and groping at you. You're going to be late, you know you are but you're completely glued to where you are and the worst of it is how he cums on your leg and has the nerve to slump on your back and whine and tell you how much he loves you and how much hes going to miss you while youre gone. His hands start moving more down, to a part of you that hadn't received attention yet and you finally unfreeze and open the door to get out in a rush.

You finally get on your car, horny, with splotches on your work clothes now and the lingering feeling of his hands on you. You're stuck thinking about what he's probably doing while you're at your work, burning as you realize the mess that you'll deal with when you get back home. This heat is going to be tougher. Just how far are you willing to put out this time? Will it even matter?

He's always going to want more.

[obviousbaitfish]

woooow they blocked me. i dont know why i followed that person in the first place. i think theyre both assholes. oh well. anyone who Just Posts AI art is probably a dickhead anyway, disabled or no (though talking about killing yourself for a paragraph is giving emotional manipulation to me). Stay mad, stay miserable, im sure youll find comfort in each other with your shitty attitudes.

I'm not here to discuss the ethics of AI or anything I'm coming at it solely from an art discussion place (and environmental sometimes), which is that it's completely soulless and has no thought into it. Effort? To get the right prompt? Maybe. But it doesnt inspire thought or discussion as an art piece. Oh cool. It's a squid. It's a white women looking at a 3/4 angle. With the same kinda bland, flat, art style. Anyway.

Duchamps's Fountain isnt high art. It took no effort. It's a toilet he probably found in the trash. But it inspires discussion that's lasted like... decades. It's one of my favorite pieces because people STILL get mad about it. DaVinci has a similar art style, even - im not a fan of it. Realism, but kinda flat. It is much darker and more neutral though. Soft shading, soft colors. But there's a reason it intrigues people. It's studied portraits of people who existed. At least that's why it intrigues me. were they family? a friend? maybe it was a commission? why did they think that was the most flattering portrait for them if it was? If they didnt EXIST and it's solely the artists imagination, how'd they get that angle? That pose? What inspired this idea? The effort they put into the physical aspect can be a part of it. But then why is Fountain so iconic? The hardest physical part of THAT was lugging it to the gallery.

Maybe THATS why they were so mad. They realize there was no soul in it. The only thing they can bother to create is so menial and pointless. They can type little prompts into a bar and turn up with... something "physical". But theres nothing behind it. They cant explain why they painted the tree that color, or the women has that expression. The robot did that. They can say "I wanted it that way - i saw it on my way home" but I dont know... that doesnt have the same zing. It's not showing me what YOU saw. It's showing me what it's lumped together from 15,000 results for "green tree" on google. I think maybe that's it. Art in any form comes from the mind of a person - no matter how complicated or "good" it is. It's from the direct point of view. A kindergartener draws their family and it sucks but it's like a little snapshot of how they saw that particular moment. They noticed the bright sun and grass and drew it. You can get a robot to do that, but then that's from X amount of people's point of view that it's dredging from. Not yours. You typed in "bright sunny day green grass happy family" but that's not YOUR view of that snapshot in time. Even if it's not from something irl it's a little snapshot into the person's mind, how they were feeling, what colors they liked... a AI cant do that because it's a separate entity doing it.

Anyway. I dont know what moods inspired this. I think I just miss my art history classes and stuff. I'm not smart enough for like ethics or philosophy but art history I can get behind.

[puzzled-pegasus]

Orel and Christina hcs

When they have phone calls as teens Both of them lay on their beds kicking their legs and twirling their fingers in the telephone wire and talk to each other forever like girlfriends loll

They go to prom together and along with dressing up, Orel either gets a fancy cane special for the occasion or snazzes up his normal one

Clay and Poppit also get weirdly excited for their respective children about prom and they help them get ready and Blorberta is like "thats nice" but Art is like "should she really be going with this boy, she could get into drugs or alcohol or she could lose her virginity or blah blah whatever she should be going with girlfriends or even better, not at all" wnd Poppit's just like thats nice Art, anyway what color dress do you want sweetie (not that she cares about her because she's Christina's Clay but she just likes pretending shes a good parent in big moments)

Also steph does Christina's makeup because her parents dont want her wearing makeup

Since Orel and Christina both eventually get permanently injured by their respective parents' negligence, they worry over each others' health a lot

They have a lot of late night conversations either in person or on the phone that end with one or both of them in tears

Art keeps threatening to shoot Orel for the crime of being a boy that his daughter likes, but Orel's like "i ain't scared of him, my own dad already shot me!"

Both of them are extremely starved of jusy like normal affection with no cost or anything attached so they are always naturally as close as they can possibly be like a pair of attracting little magnets lol

one time Joe told them that if they keep putting their foreheads together their heads will eventually grow together and get stuck, and they were just like "aw that doesn't sound so bad"

When they get married they get a dog and a cat together

They don't invite their parents to their wedding but Shapey and Block are invited as well as Danielle and whoever Christina's Danielle is and also Stephanie

They are both strong enough to pick each other up but Christina can't lift Orel for more than a few seconds once they're past the age of like 14 lol

although it's fair because Orel's scarred knee joint prevents him from being able to lift her for too long

they're the same height at 12 but Orel gets taller and Christina stays tiny like she doesn't get bigger than 5 feet lol I just really like the idea of smol christina

I mean Orel's not that tall either but still probably between like 7 and 10 inches taller than her

Both of them go to Stephanie for advice, sometimes together and sometimes separately, as they realize more and more how shitty their parents' advice is

Stephanie gave Christina an extra ear piercing besides the "one earring per ear" she was allowed to have and her parents were furious lol

she also puts makeup on her sometimes

Side note, I feel like Christina's parents would accuse Stephanie of grooming their daughter if they knew she's a lesbian

Logically Revs is really happy for Orel and Christina but he also gets really annoyed when he sees PDA so he's just like "orel why don't you and your little sweetheart get a room so the rest of us don't have to think about how we can't all be as happy as you guys are" lol and Orel's like "gee sorry Reverend we just like each other so much it's hard not to be right up close to each other like a couple of peas in a pod :3" and Rev is just "yeah whatever grumble grumble" and walks away

i've said this before but i just know Orel and Christina have the sweetest but corniest pet names for each other that you just cant be mad at because they say them so sincerely. Mayhaps I'll have to make a list of examples :3

[thejabber-talkey]

I know I'm mad late to the Priory of the Orange tree craze, but I'm about halfway through and I have thoughts. Specifically thoughts on the religion of the western half of the book's world.

I don't super love how religion is handled in terms of overall rhetoric. The religions on a ground level are really well done; they're realistic and believable without being too direct a rip from existing religions. Though, the Saint and the Virtues are more clearly Christianity than the rest of the other religions are anything else. And I think this really effects how the narrative treats that religion in relation to all the others. I find it really cheap and uninteresting when books have two 'opposing' religions where one is obviously wrong and the other is obviously right. That's not how any religion has ever worked, for starters, and it also lacks nuance. You can tell from the get go that the Saint and Virtues are meant to be the bad/wrong religion. Even if Ead wasn't our primary narrator and perspective into Inys culture, the way things are written have an obvious derision for the Saint. Now, I don't hate the idea of a false religion built on lies, but the way it's set up against the vastly superior and narratively favoured woman-led counter religion is just, well, boring. You have the 'bad' religion founded b a man who is a liar, and the good religion founded by a cool woman. The whole, one religion is good and one is bad just lacks any sense of real intrigue, especially when the book flat out tells you which one is bad and which one is good. I would really love for there to be truth in both the Saint's and the Mother's stories, but I can tell that that's not the direction the book is headed and it bums me out, because it makes the religious divide in the west into obvious moralism that plays on what we as readers are apt to agree with. The rest of the world-building bangs, so why cant we have nuance in the two main religions, too?

The narrative and Ead + the rest of the priory are generally unfairly shitty to those who believe in the Saint. Fuck those guys for believing their religious leader, I guess? It's not like they chose to be lied to, and they don't know any other truth, so having all the other characters treating Inys citizens like deliberately ignorant and hateful doesent have the same punch as if they did know their origins. Getting pissed at another culture for not knowing your real history when you deliberately hide it from everyone is petty, esp when you know they've been lied to for the past thousand years. It also makes Ead's perspective vaguely annoying because she has an obvious bias against the Saint and Inys, which isn't inherently wrong because, again, she follows the good/real religion. But it does feel a bit, i dunno, unfair, because Ead knows they don't know their religion is a lie, and she still thinks poorly of them for it. Like, i cannot emphasize how little empathy is spared to these people who do not know their entire religion a lie, they're just treated how we would treat a nation of christian colonizers. Except, the people of Virtudom aren't colonizers and, I cannot stress this enough, do not know that their religion is wrong, as far as they are aware, it is actual history. I can smell from a while away that Ead is going to convince Sabran to convert, and that Sabran in turn is going to forcibly convert her entire queeendom, because she has that power as a monarch. And the book is going to treat this like a 'good ending' and not the massive cultural and life upheaval it actually is.

The whole 'there is only one right sect of this religion, and all others are inherently bad' thing just reeks of christian rhetoric, even though the 'good' religion is supposed to be from a more Arabic leaning culture. It reads a lot like an ex-christian trying to overcompensate for their former religion, whilst still maintaining all of that religious rhetoric about sin and 'true good' and there being only one right way of life and that the people who don't follow this right way are bad and morally inferior by default.

The book is still great (could use more dragons, tbh, I feel like they oversold how many dragons are in this book) I just hate that one specific narrative aspect.

[moonysfavoritetoast]

i have to do i fucking presentation on my bad fucking henry ford essay (way too much info i already knew all that shit) and im not doing that shit fuck no because my goddamn voice is too high and people will laugh and fucking not shut up bc why is a girl called evan and and i cant even play my trumpet for a playing quiz what makes you think my fucking voice will work fucks sake im never going to need to know how to speak in front of a bunch of bitchy middle schoolers who will do nothing but laugh at my fucking appearance and voice i fucking hate school this shit is what made me relapse last time im going to fucking skip idc if i fucking fail i already am fuck you if you think im just okay with this dumbass shit

the suicide rates were so high yoiu put the fucking prevention hotline number on the back of every school issued id and you claim to want to help us then maybe make the goddamn curriculum more flexible i mean god fucking damn its like kids dont have fucking anxiety that nobody believes is real fuck off with your bullshit about caring about us you just want good test scores and good sports players shit like this is why i want to fucking kms

oh and god forbid i express these feelings in any way to trusted staff. they'll send me to counselling who will immediately call my parents which will get my phone taken because its obviously the goddamn phone making me feel this way. even if i tell them to not call my parents they will. and then my mom will go through my texts because shes worried about me and she'll cry and make me feel like shit when she was the one who started this. she'll find out everything. she'll take my binders away because i wear them too long and she'll never let me see friends again adn i'll be homeschooled again bc obviously school is too much.

she'll try to make me talk to her then she'll get mad and cry and yell when i try to say nothings wrong. she fucking hates me anyways. her backup child is fucking failing even though she was the firstborn. she knows her first daughter was the only chance she had at having a successful child because the other one has a shitty attention span and cant fucking spell anything. her baby girl is a fucking failure and she cant fucking accept im not her fucking baby girl anymore.

clearly i dont know what tired feels like. i sleep so much, why am i still tired? must be faking it. i dont know what depression is and i dont know what pain is. i dont know what anxiety is because i just want attention. she cant fucking accept the fact i'm clearly not neurotypical because i fucking have to be or she'll lose all goddamn hope she doesnt have for me.

nobody thinks somethings wrong and i fucking hate it. im the liar because "youre always so happy"

why would someone my age want to die?

fuck off.

[edwadio]

justyna, we love you so much darling.

you guys are just fucking insecure bitches who are secretly jealous of the people who manifested so many things that yall cant even imagine.

and yall r mad cuz u guys dont have it💀LOOOOLLLL. stop calling justyna as she is delusional or any of that. if you dont like then get the fuck away from this blog and go cry about how disgusting ur life is. you guys are just so awful even cuz of that none of you deserve any piece of shit

and stop taking advantage of justyna being nice to yall. being on anon mode doesnt mean you gotta be rude to people who teach us how to get a better life.

bye limited 3d slave bitches, and we loveyou sm justynaaaaaa🎀🎀💗💗💗💓💓💓😸😸😸👼🏼

🫣🫣i love you guys too💓💓

like i said, i feel sorry for these people because they don't even try to understand the concept of law and think it's living in a delusional world - and for it to have anything to do with delusion it would have to have something to do with 3D, and it doesn't, but it can't be explained to them so let them continue to live with their shitty assumptions 🙄🙄

[laithraihan]

Hey I really love your art - I wanted to ask if you use references from anywhere specific.

Also, have you considered the idea of Reigan becoming Minori's Guardian Ad Litem? I agree that Reigans not exactly the kind of person to make the most responsible father (at least where we leave him in the show) but I could totally imagine him becoming her guardian for some legal reason.

He's really the only adult she'd know to trust outside her father.

I can imagine they're put a whole court case together with Reigan as her guardian just for legal reasons and they win, and then Minori's like. "Oh shit where do I go? Guess your my guardian for real now." And Reigan is like.

What?

Thank you 🫶💜 hmm well for pose references including clothing etc I just get them from google stock images, I generally try to avoid making the pose too similar to the images I see so I sometimes draw in different angles (honestly most of the time I struggle looking up references because I cant find a picture in a specific angle I want, so I go with my intuition even if it's wrong), honestly google is probably the place I rely on the most for this. Like if I forget what a shoe looks like then I'll just google it.

If you're talking about where I got inspiration for my art style (or what I look to get ideas for my art etc) I'd say the major ones for me are ONE's sketches on twitter (especially his shaky lineart and how he draws eyes), early episodes of Detective Conan (clothing folds, color choices sometimes, body proportions like the chest being pointed etc), Revolutionary Girl Utena (also clothing and body proportions), FLCL (I have no idea what parts of it influenced my art but I feel like it's an obligation to list it here)

Uhh for the fun drawings that require more effort I'd say music is inevitably the most important part of it. 99% of the time my drawings that arent plain sketches are modeled after a specific song I listen to (primarily from ZARD but other artists too although not as often) even then I think my sketches are still influenced by ZARD somehow. Wait I completely forgot to mention I also look up images of ZARD on Pinterest for poses or just... to draw anything honestly. Theres a good number of pictures of her in various angles (I remember one of her photographers said she was very photogenic so most of her pictures are very casual as if a camera wasn't present) I think it's good to look at them if you are looking for something natural. Just looking up "Izumi Sakai" there will give you results.

For text placement/colors/vibe/whatever I like to look at old media I grew up with like MADs, shitty websites made in the 90s/2000s, old anime subtitled in Arabic (I have plenty of DVDs with anime dubbed/subbed in Arabic that I have no idea where we got them from, I assume it's all pirated. Anime openings/endings in Arabic also have very poor aesthetics when it comes to logo placement/text color/text animation/etc but that's exactly why I like them) I also have a Pinterest board with outdated ZARD edits that I look at often while drawing. For image textures or backgrounds I use this website. If I struggle with art block or don't know how to draw a specific thing I also look at everything I previously listed and reference from there. Anyways I talked a Lot but hopefully I could help with that.

As for Reigen being a guardian .... I never considered it seriously but I think he could pull it off. He'll definitely make mistakes but he could succeed if he had a daughter. I just have to kill off Minori's real dad or something and it'll work. The only problem would be that Minori has to live with the fact that her new father is broke and unable to spend thousands of dollars for her every week.

[toxicanonymity]

Ref: Stepdad Master List

Anonymous asked (Before Fandango, after hypothetical drabbles):

i think the social media stepdad!joel things you put out are so indefinitely juicy

like, personally im a bit of a silent grudge holder, and ikik he’s technically with the mom, but if that was me, id make the man sweat/feel as shitty as him fucking the mom made me feel if u get me??

like the first thought that crossed my mind was that id send a video of ME getting fucked. but then i was like.. no, bc then he’d know that i was still thinking of him AND i fucked the guy because of him out of spite and sent the video to piss him off and get him off (even if Joel was thinking abt me while he fucked the mom, it doesn’t matter).

so my second thought: bringing a guy back home, but actually acting a little shy/coy, like a little flustered with him (maybe both Joel and the mom are home and greet them etcetc), and THEN fucking upstairs. the delicious torture that’d be for Joel. like pretending ur trying to be quiet, making it seem to Joel like u are too type of thing.

like he’s getting no pictures or videos. no attention. not even a glance. then fucking some guy that, in Joel’s head, actually makes u blush/feel good. and the best thing?? how can he be mad? he has the mom sat next to him :] every line that he swears can’t be crossed with you isn’t even a line that exists anymore because you’ve made it so he isn’t even in the equation anymore. he kept insisting that u both cant be sexual with eachother, that it’s wrong and shouldn’t happen. he was always the one who refused to touch you/do anything, so he can’t be mad for so many reasons when you find someone who can, and that wants to, and that won’t touch anyone else (and I think that last little bit would kill Joel - knowing this guy u brought back would touch you and no others. it’s a ‘luxury” Joel cant have in any way you look at it. he can’t not touch the mom, he won’t let himself touch you. and now that you’ve taken yourself off the table completely, what exactly can he do abt it?? would he be able to come onto you at all? idk, maybe no, cus how could he come onto you when before, he was always “can’t touch, cant fuck, even just watching each other is too much”)

------------

You make some great points!

[dateamonster]

Opinions on the parental situations in liar satsuki? On one hand, it’s very pessimistic/realistic in the sense that it’s actually really hard to get rid of bad parents if you don’t have the option of moving out + the parents are more realistically shitty? they’re mad at their kid, want control over their kid, etc?

ive got mixed feelings abt the portrayal satsukis family situation as well as the class reps (sry cant remember her name rn ;;) mostly in the sense that i wish there was more time devoted to rly digging into them. i feel sometimes the narrative comes off as dismissive of abuse or neglect that isnt rooted in the physical.

THAT SAID the portrayal of akiras familial struggles and her backstory in general is one of my favorite aspects of the series. it helps that the question of "should akiras dad have been allowed to live" is one that haunts her and satsukis relationship all throughout the story, but even besides that i find myself really compelled by the way her mother is characterized. ive read a drama manga or two before and i rly expected the resolution to akiras arc to be wrapped up neatly with a "and then it turned out her mom never really wanted to leave her and she loves her so much and now that theyre together everything is fine" type ending, but the reality that akiras mom never wanted to settle down and just isnt a very maternal person in general is in a way more like personally satisfying to me.

i think theres an instinct when u grow up with a shitty parent (whether theyre abusive to the degree akiras dad is or not) to sort of cling to the other parent, or the fantasy of the other parent in the case that theyre not around, regardless of if theyre any more deserving of that affection. its a punch in the gut to watch akira coming to terms with the fact that her mom, while clearly the better and safer of the two and instrumental to getting free of her dads control, isnt really any more of a parent than her dad was. it makes it feel like even more of an emotional triumph when she proclaims to satsuki that she isnt defined by what her dad believes or expects of her, that she has to live for herself regardless of where she came from, because theres definitely a sense that as she says this, its the first time shes really internalized the sentiment.

i feel like even when she truly hated him, the part of living with her dad that weighed heaviest on akira was that there was a part of her that still wanted to understand him and find reason in his actions. even if her situation is far from ideal, it feels very powerful seeing her choose to leave an abusive home, knowing that living with her mom likely wont offer any better protection or guidance, but choosing to go anyway because in doing so she is choosing herself.

it gives a real feeling of "no one came to save you when you needed it, and no one is coming to save you now, but thats okay because now you know what you need to do to save yourself". its emotional shit!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hello! I hope you are having a good day! I need some help.

i think I have trauma, but I don't want to take resources from people who actually need them, because I'm not sure. nothing awful ever happened to me, but growing up as an undiagnosed autistic is... not fun. and I have bad reactions to things that shouldn't be traumatizing, like, at all.

for example, as a kid, a girl used to yell and scream at me for missing goals at school or not being able to block them or etc. and nowadays, if I miss a goal or let one in (I'm still in school, I'm a teenager) , my chest tightens and I have to run away, and I'll usually have a panic attack or even start crying, because I'm scared that someone will get mad at me. and that shouldn't have been traumatizing, cause its so fucking tiny (I hope you're ok with cusses, I'm so sorry if your not and I inadverdantely made you uncomfortable) and who gets trauma from a mean kid at school?

and my family never exactly showed me a good model for weakness. weakness is something I avoid at all costs, and crying is embarrassing, and at the same time I desperately want to not be able to control weakness, to be forced to show weakness, so that someone will help, but I've seen tons of people talk about that, so I'm pretty sure that's normal.

another thing is the reaction I have to my brother having a cold or getting sick. I keep pinning it on OCD, but I don't think its OCD. for context, my mother's younger sister died of cancer, so it might be generational. since, pretty much, my brother was born, (I was three), I've had such a giant reaction to him ever being sick. Now, my brother is also autistic/ADHD (neither of us are diagnosed, but I've done tons of research etc) and I love him very much, but when he, or anyone really, but especially him, gets sick, I panic, hide in my room, cover my nose when they sniff or sneeze or cough, and even writing this is getting me panicked. I get panic attacks, dread going home, etc.

so ummm thanks! there's more, I'm sure, my parents were kinda shitty, but thank you and I'm really sorry if I'm taking up space!

(cant phrase things very well sorry)

Hey there,

First. Don't apologize for "taking up space." Everyone deserves to take up space. If you didn't, you wouldn't have been born.

Second. Trauma can come from anywhere, and it entirely subjective, and has many factors. Just because it may seem "tiny" doesn't mean it actually is. Something "tiny" could become huge with a lot of other factors, like repetition, lack of support, negative or disorganised attachments to parental figures, stressful environments, etc. Never discount traumatic experiences because they're "tiny." If it was traumatic, it's not tiny to you.

Third. "Who gets trauma from a mean person at school." Lots of people. Bullying is very traumatic. You're not alone whatsoever.

Fourth. "I don't want to take resources from people who actually need them." What resources could you possibly "take up" to where no one else would be able to get them? Most of the time, trauma resources are things like online spaces, websites, books, therapy, etc. None of those are only available to one person at a time. Furthermore, why do you think you don't need them? If you feel like they could potentially benefit you, then you are the target audience. Period. They don't care why it would benefit you. Just that it would. Take the resources you feel you could use. They're meant for you.

Last. Common does not equal normal. And neither of those equal okay. It may be common to grow up in a household that doesn't allow weakness. That doesn't make it a normal or standard experience, and that certainly doesn't make it a good model or an okay and non-traumatic way of living. Many common things are still bad for you. Don't dismiss it because it's a common experience. It can still be harmful.

Overall, take resources you need, and acknowledge your pain and trauma. The only person you're harming in not doing so is yourself. There is no chivalry or kindness in not helping yourself.

-Mod Night

[di-girls-dem-sugar]

Going to be keeping it absolutely real on here as I always do when things get bad. I'm starting to think that it might not get better after all I can't lie. I'm just so sad and angry and mad and lonely all the time. I moved away from home two years ago and I can't hold on to any stable relationships and I'm basically all alone here and I feel like such an idiot for complaining about it because it's nobody's fault that I don't go anywhere and I am bad at talking to people or holding on to relationships. it's completely my fault and I know it's up to me to change it but I've never been good at making friends and that hasn't changed just because I'm not 16 or 11 or 5 years old anymore and I'm still not quite sure how to go about it.

It's been 2 years and Canada doesn't feel like a foreign place anymore .I know my way around and I know how to get stuff done and it has already set in that this is my life now and I guess this just means that my life now is just me by myself with everyone I know and love 1800 miles away.

And even then half the time it still feels like I don't have anyone because my sister hardly answers her phone and my other sister and I have literally only known each other for a month and I don't even know her middle name yet and my mom has got a new job and doesn't have time to call me like she used to and so I don't even feel like I have my mommy anymore and my best friend is already dealing with so much and I wish I could turn back time and bring her loved one back to life but I cant and I feel so empty thinking about how she must feel and I'm not comfortable with anybody else so other than those people.

I'm a year away from graduating with a degree in a field that I hate and I can't find any internships or working experience because everything is so experience based and I am so bad at all this stuff and my grades are so mediocre and I don't have anything that makes me stand out and at this point I'm worried that I won't even be good enough for grad school. When I find a part of this wretched degree that I actually like I cannot seem to do well in it despite the fact that I actually care enough to study and do work in it and it's just so demotivating. And even if I do somehow manage to get a job I'm never going to be able to afford a house and I want to have a house so bad I don't like renting I want to have a backyard and I want my own kitchen and I want to decorate my house the way I feel like when I feel like it but everything is so expensive and I hate my shitty customer service job because I hate talking to people and I don't want to stand for 6 hours and fake smile and listen to the same songs play over and over again for 6 hours anymore but I can't leave my job because no one else is hiring me.

And I have to keep pretending like everything is okay when every time I turn on my phone and go out to social media I see something else indicating that we are witnessing the decline of man as we know it and there's kids dying in so many places all over the world and people getting their homes destroyed and no matter how much I try and raise awareness and no matter how much money I give and how much I talk about it there's really nothing changing and I go outside and somebody asks me for spare change to buy a coffee so they don't freeze in the below zero weather and I wish I could put them in a house but I don't even have a house of my own. And I used to be able to look around and find even the beauty in the smallest things and to not think the worst of people and to give everyone the benefit of the doubt for the most part but now I can't help but wonder if this person thinks genocide and exploitation and mindless killing and destruction is a good thing. And I hardly see anybody talking about Sudan or Congo or Senegal or Haiti or Madagascar and it feels like african people are just always doomed to be pushed to the back burner even by black people in the diaspora and I try to be positive because if the people in those countries haven't given up hope why should I but sometimes I just get so sad.

And despite going to therapy and going on meds I still look in the mirror and hate myself and I remember that my problems are so paltry and poor compared to what's going on in the rest of the world and that I feel worse because it doesn't make me hate how I look or who I am less and the world just won't stop turning and we never get a break we just have to keep going until we die no matter how bad things get and it's not fair and I'm so tired I just need it all to stop for a second. Looking at my life feels like reading the bell jar knowing that sylvia plath wrote a book about a depressed woman and ended up killing herself. I feel doomed