#and i cannot stop laughing

[lucyllawless]

[ehatnow]

I cant get over these fucking PNGs

[pxltown]

these spot the difference games are getting harder

[satsumadraws]

from this (@fadingdeerentity)

[wewontbesleeping]

[benevolenterrancy]

i'm sure this joke has been done before but i'm new here so now it's my turn -- the bing-ge vs bing-mei extra sure is something huh

[imaybeabear]

Got a recommended article today, and boy oh boy, collider, do I have some news for you

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

You know, for all the many faults Labour has, there are some very funny people working on their digital campaign.

[sbd-laytall]

Love the fact that Ororo and Kurt don't even react to Logan punching Scott.

Nightcrawler (2004) #1

[colealexart]

when everyone keeps telling you you're supposed to save the world but you're just a lil cowboy

[shitouttabuck]

please look at the funniest comment i’ve ever received

[egberts]

[turrondeluxe]

the takahashi carlton twins are so silly

[angel-fruitcake]

i'm sorry this image is sending me into orbit

[x]

[faretheeoscar]

Oscar Isaac sends a video message as Jessica Chastain is honored at the American Cinematheque Awards.

This just proves why I’m so in love with him.

[astracora]

The Serpent and the Apple

Characters: Caleb x gn!mc

Warnings: Death, Gore, Violence, Villain!Caleb

Word Count: 547

Written: 10th January 2025

Notes: Short drabble inspired by the Caleb trailer. The demon's won. I'm doing fine, thanks for asking.

Masterlist

It is blood spray across your face as the gun goes off. The man slumps before you. Puppet strings cut. Lifeless. Part of his skull missing.

You have fought monsters your entire life, have seen men die before. You have never seen the callous cool look in the eyes in front of you. That once held warmth that soothed damaged skin and mended broken pieces.

Caleb rounds the chair, where your hands are cuffed. Digging into flesh and cutting through skin. Blood eases around the strain, and cools against the metal.

"Well Pipsqueak, of all the places to get yourself stuck." He sits, long legs crossing in front of him. Gun at his side. You look down at the smoking barrel, look back up into purple eyes. "Here, seems the most foolish."

It is unfamiliar. There is no warmth, there is nothing that reminds you of the boy you grew up with. No twinkle at mischief or tease for kindness. When he calls you pipsqueak, he normally accompanies it with fondness and laughter.

He stares down at you with nothing, empty and cold. Cruel.

The barrel moves, to press heated against your throat. The sting brings a tear to eye, and you are pointed back up when you try to dodge his gaze. Held at gunpoint for him to look at, to watch. To peer into you and find what he wants.

There is no evol tearing through your mind to pull your thoughts, he knows you well enough to read your feelings with nothing else. You see the blood splatter against the black uniform, it drips to the floor and dries into the fabric. He watches your gaze, and with careful fingers that don't keep their finger on the trigger, he wipes at it.

"Messy." The hand moves to your cheek, smearing blood over your skin, and he sits back. "I'm sure I've told you to be careful before."

He has, so many times. Reminders when injured, when reckless, when foolish. He has always had your back, been there for you.

He has never burned your skin, or sullied it with violence.

"You look disappointed. Or scared." This time it is not the gun that grips you, but cold hands. Metal grabbing your chin to turn your blood stained cheek to him, the grooves digging into bone, moving down to your throat. Tightening, pulling away the air, as he runs his nose along your cheekbone.

He comes out shaking as he smells you, a long drag over skin, before his tongue runs along the length of you. Tasting the blood on your skin, sending a traitor's shiver down your spine.

When he turns your face back to him, he smiles, and you think… with the flashing light that makes his beautiful eyes glow, that he should bear fangs like a beast, and scales along his cheeks. "Did you really think I'd be that kind hearted boy forever?"

And when the serpent kisses you, it is blood tinged, teeth tearing at lips to demand entry, and possessive tongue twisting around yours.

And when he finally pulls away when your vision blurs and the air is stolen from your lungs… he swipes a tongue over the blood on his bottom lip… and squeezes once more around your neck.