#and i can't even express how wrong and stupid that is
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(BLLK) FOR MY LOVE IS COLD
𝜗𝜚 ITOSHI RIN: AEONIUM
a/n: [gn!reader, 1.6k wc] OOC RIN OOC RIN!!! dw rin kissers,, fluff will drop after exam szn :3c
"could you stop leeching onto me? it looks pathetic."
you had hit rock bottom for what felt like the 27th time this week, and all you wanted was to be held by your boyfriend. he was watching one of his previous games in his room. you had come home exhausted and distressed, trying your hardest to keep it all in as your eyes sting, blinking at the ceiling. all you wanted right then and there was the precious gaze of your one and most beloved boyfriend, itoshi rin.
you gently place yourself next to him as he intently watches his game. your gentle hand instinctively reaches out to caress a stray hair out of his face, eyes lovingly glued onto him. that was, before he swatted you away. your eyes widen.
oh. okay, again? mistake, maybe? only innocently yearning the warmth of your beloved after a freezing morning, you reach out again. before being proven wrong as he swatted your hand away from his jaw, again, this time with more venom.
"can't you control yourself? its annoying me." he scowls, his tone cold and careless. his turquoise eyes making contact with yours, showing you a side you've never seen before.
"oh— uhm..." what was happening right now? you felt your heartstring tug. hard.
"how much more embarrassing can you be?"
your eyes widen, your heart sinks like a messy melody that abruptly stops. an out of tune violin's string snaps.
“do y-you mean that?” you whisper under your breath, breaking eye contact as the smallest tears can't help but swell in your eyes. rin lets out a scoff, noticing you break eye contact and the tears which forms in your eyes. he leans down once to be at eye level with you.
"tch- why would i say it if i didn't mean it? don't get all emotional." he says coldly.
you pull away, gently pushing yourself off the spot next to him, still using your gentleness as you walk off.
“i.. need to go to the bathroom.”
rin's eyes narrow, seeing you push yourself away from him. he's not even sure why you're reacting in this way. he lets out a grunt before he watches you start to walk away, his eyes following suit. but what? what is making him walk over to your direction? he didn't need to; he could've just let you rot. right?
locking yourself inside; curling up against the door, like a blossom shrivelling from the merciless, dry sun. knees pressed at your chest, like a bandaid which temporarily covers the wet wound. wiping your endless flow of tears, you place your head on your knees.
rin sighs at hearing the sound of the door being locked, a part of him is feeling irritated. yet— guilty? he makes his way to the door, knocking on it.
the irritated side of him spits. "this is so stupid." he whispers under his breath, yet that was all the silence needed to be filled.
you choke on your own sob and instantly cover your mouth. was he really saying all that? that's not the rin you fell in love with. that was probably the last response you’d ever want to hear. what has gotten into your own boyfriend?
rin's eyebrows furrow at the sound of the broken sob. he knows you're upset because of his tone and words, but, it's not like he meant to make you cry. right? he bangs on the door, this time a little harder than before.
"let me in." he says firmly.
scared at what he might do at the harshness of the knocks, you immediately open the door. did i just open the door out of fear? your eyes widen at the thought, and you step back as your meet his eyes through your glossy lids.
rin doesn't say a word upon seeing your face, his eyes studying your features up close. the sight of you looking like that because of his words and tone, just makes his heart... ache. seeing you look at him so fearfully breaks him, he's feeling regret for what he said. he's never seen you like this before, it's heartbreaking for him to see.
he sighs deeply, his expression softening somewhat.
"are you... going to keep crying?" he asks lowly, the slightest hint of regret clear in his voice.
"why are you so mean?"
welp, here you were.
dishevelled and hot, bothered and uncomfy. some sort of funny feeling lingered in the air as it got stuck in your throat, like a lyric that doesn't rhyme in a romantic dissonance.
he frowns at your question, "i am not trying to be mean. you are just thinking too much about everything." he tries to deny himself, responding bluntly, eyes studying your expression. your eyes widen even more as more tears can't help but stream down. you felt like you were going to puke. why was he like this? why... would he say that?
rin's eyes widen slightly at seeing your reaction, more tears falling down your face and your eyes widening, it's making his heart ache even more, for some reason.
he clenches his jaw, feeling even more regret and guilt. he didn't mean to make you this emotional and scared. he sighs deeply once more.
"w-wait. don't cry, you know i didn't mean it—" did itoshi rin just... stutter? he says it softly, taking a step closer to you.
you flinch immediately, the same feeling after opening the door out of fear comes back. rin watches the way you flinch away from him, it makes his heart ache even more. he feels like the shittiest boyfriend ever. but why can't he admit it? he then slowly and gently reaches a hand out to grab your wrist, making him come even closer to you, his body now a few inches away from yours.
"don't be scared, i won't hurt you…" he says quietly. it's like he was a monster.
“b-but you just did-!”
rin lets out another deep sigh, it's like your words are further stabbing him in the heart.
he doesn't even know where it all went wrong, he just didn't want to seem weak and vulnerable, he didn't mean to make you feel scared or hurt. he swallows thickly, his eyes meeting yours.
"that wasn't my intention…don't look at me like that." he whispers, his hand still on your wrist.
“b-but i asked you! if you.. really meant those words and you instantly replied 'yes-!'"
rin's eyes widen in realization and his expression falters hearing those words. he feels his stomach drop upon realizing what you said, a wave of guilt washing over him.
he goes silent. eyes glued to everything but your soaked face, knowing he did that to you. his hand still gripping your wrist.
he doesn't say anything else, he just watches you.
“i d-didnt mean to be clingy and embarrassing-- i just wanted to be held by my boyfriend—! at one of the lowest points of my life— i thought spending time with my— what i call ‘boyfriend’ would make me feel better, b-because it always does--!” you hiccup, letting your true emotions flow in love and care for rin.
your words hit his heart like a brick. you're telling him everything, and you look so hurt and vulnerable, and it's his fault. he's the reason for that. his heart aches, it's painful for him to see you like this. he clenches his jaw, swallowing thickly as he's still staring at you.
"you thought being with me would make you feel better?" he says quietly, his voice wavering slightly.
“y-yes ofcourse—! it always does and i— ive never felt stupid or embarrassing when im around you— because i thought you loved me and I love you—!”
rin's heart feels like bursting out of his chest right now. your words and your tone, the way you're looking at him. he's the reason your self-esteem is probably the lowest its ever been right now. he swallows again, his jaw clenching even tighter.
"i-i do love you. you know i do.." he says in a quiet strained voice.
in a quick response, “well why would you say those things? out of love?”
he hesitates for a moment before he responds. his eyes glance to the side briefly before he looks back at yours. he swallows once more, feeling the guilt building up inside him. rin’s heart aches upon hearing your words. you're trying, more than hard enough, and he just wasn't able to see it. he was frustrated and he didn't mean to be so harsh.
"your hands were all over, and it was starting to get on my nerves. i didn't mean to hurt you…" he says, a note of clear regret in his voice.
“i am trying to be as loving and as patient as i can... just like before we started dating… and i st-still am-! loving you is as easy as pie but i just— just—! never thought you would say that stuff.”
he takes a step closer to you, standing directly in front of you. he sighs once more, his eyes meeting yours again, guilt clear in them.
"i wasn't thinking. i didn't think before i said it." he confesses.
“there are so many rude comments i could make right now. so many voices i can raise and so much anger and sadness i could lash on you. but i choose not to because i love you.”
he swallows thickly once more, his heart hurting even more. you're going to be the death of him. his hands subconsciously curl into fists at his sides.
"i don't deserve you, i'm so sorry…"
you instantly capture him and hold him in your arms, gently saying, just like you has been for the past couple minutes, what came out of your heart.
“don't say that, sweetheart.”
#rin x reader#itoshi rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#rin x you#itoshi rin x you#rin itoshi x you#rin angst#itoshi rin angst#rin itoshi angst#rin fanfiction#itoshi rin fanfiction#rin itoshi fanfiction#itoshi rin fanfic#rin itoshi fanfic#rin fanfic#itoshi rin ff#rin itoshi ff#rin ff#bllk x you#bllk x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock ff
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THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED IS CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE (LN4)
✰ lando norris x ex!reader ✰
summary → in which lando keeps dialing your number even after you've changed it.
genre → angst (im not sorry)
word count → 2.1k
author's note → remember how i broke ur hearts with carlos sainz angst for my first fic about him? YEAH HERE'S THE LANDO VERSION!!!!!!!! i know yall love it either way so, enjoy reading! very short btw, i just wanted to put something out for today
"where did we go wrong? i know we started out all right. where did we go wrong? i swear i knew we'd last this time." - lany, "13"
it takes three rings.
then he hears that stupid automated voice again, "the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected, please try—"
"for fuck's sake."
after he ends the attempted call, the furious typing is apparent in the empty, dark room. the artificial keyboard clicking fills the room as he tries his best to reach her. it's futile really, with every text he sends, the more agitated he becomes.
he knew that he shouldn't do this, that she was probably trying her best to move on, but he couldn't. he couldn't let her slip away from his grasp so easily.
"i just want you here for my races, is that so hard to ask for?" lando sounded desperate, he was desperate. he was a guy who needed his girlfriend and it didn't help that his girlfriend couldn't be there with him when he needed it the most, especially at times like these.
she was tired, he could tell, he didn't want to turn this into an argument but he was going to base it off of how she was going to respond, "lando, i can't. you know this. i have family here that i need to support, i can't just quit—"
"i'm not asking you to quit, i'm asking you to come just when you can," lando ruffled his hair so hard that it hurt, "the races are on weekends— for fuck's sake! why can't you just listen to me and actually hear what i'm saying?"
"i am listening! you're not listening to me!" she had tears in her eyes now, he hated it. he hated when he got riled up like this. it wasn't her fault, he knew it but he wanted her around him at least every few races, he hadn't been able to see her on the paddock at all this year and it pained him.
an exasperated sigh leaves his lips and he tries calling again, he knows she's not gonna pick up. he knows that he's probably blocked everywhere, but he wants to try. he wants to talk. he just wanted to fix things.
"the number you have dialed is—"
the next thing he heard was his phone shattering against the wall after he threw it across the room.
it was only two days later when he got a new phone and tried again, it wasn't going to go through. he knew it, but he just wanted to try. he wanted to show her that he was willing to make a compromise with her, just to make sure that she was there for him.
he didn't understand why he raised his voice so easily when it came to her, maybe because emotions ran high and he didn't know what else to do to express himself. he didn't know. all he knew was that he was a selfish prick and he deserved all of this.
he tried again.
"the number you have dialed is cu—"
he wanted to smash that brand new phone into the wall like its predecessor but he held himself back, he knew that the money that was needed to buy him a new phone was priceless to him, he was a formula one driver. it was pennies to him. all that money and he couldn't keep the most priceless thing to him, her.
he didn't care how selfish it sounded, or how convoluted their issues were. he just wanted her here, to hug, to kiss, to just comfort him. he had so many things on his mind right now and it could've been solved just by a simple touch and kiss to the forehead.
he was losing his mind and he knew it.
something akin to a sob bubbles from his throat when he hears the automated voice again.
"the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected, please try again later."
he fucked up, he knows now. she didn't have to rub it in his face like this, by changing her number and disappearing off of the face of the earth.
he just wanted to be home.
gentle knocking wakes her up from her slumber, it's unusual to get guests at this hour and on top of that, she wasn't expecting anyone. a huff escapes her lips as she gently takes the covers off of her and sits up on the bed. the knocks become more persistent as she begrudgingly gets up from her comfortable bed.
at first, she contemplates whether she should open the door or not but she opens it against her better judgement, her eyes widening when she realizes who it was.
"lando, what are you doing here? aren't you supposed to be in aus—"
she gets engulfed in a hug before she could even utter another word.
inhaling her scent after so long had been a breath of a fresh air for lando, he missed her. she's confused on how lando even knows where she lived. she had moved out of her last flat to avoid him on purpose, and now he's here, when he's supposed to be all the way in australia getting ready for a race.
his hug wasn't reciprocated, unfortunately for him.
"lando—" she was cut off by her ex standing in front of her, his eyes were glassy, puffy, like he had been crying all the way from australia to here.
"i just wanted to see you, that's all."
"we broke up two months ago, you can't just show up in front of my flat like this."
"i know but—"
"there aren't any buts lando, didn't me changing my number make it clear to you?" she folded her arms in front of her chest, her hair was still a mess from sleep and she was in pajamas, but her eyes were nowhere near his, not wanting to have any type of eye contact.
lando could only look down on the ground in embarrassment, he knew it was wrong. he knew he shouldn't have asked her friends where she lived, all of them had turned down his questions, telling him that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore but it wasn't anything a little persistence couldn't solve.
"is that all? you have a race to catch," she didn't even give him the chance to speak before trying to close the door on his face, but he blocked it with his foot, he wanted to talk. to fix things. he knew that things were irreparable but he wanted to try.
lando pushes the door open, despite her insistence of not letting him in, "i want to fix things, love—"
"there's nothing to fix lando, we're done. we've been done. what part of done do you not understand?" she was on the verge of tears, she didn't want to end it with lando, no, not at all but she felt that it was best for the both of them, she couldn't provide him with what he needed and he couldn't with her either, so it was best to just separate because why be in a relationship when you don't feel the love?
her eyes were still on the floor, not even daring to look up at lando's. it hurt for her too of course, just throwing away their year-long relationship out the window when the beginning of their relationship was so lovely, but now all there was is resentment and she didn't want that in her relationship.
lando couldn't utter anything out his mouth, he was stuck in place by her words. he let himself in earlier after he pushed the door open, he gently closed the door behind him before sighing, "we didn't even talk about it, you just decided for yourself that you didn't want to be apart of this anymore, you didn't even wait until my race ended before i could respond. how can i let it go?"
she swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked out the window, still refusing to look at lando, because she knew that if she did, she would start crying, "you just do lando. sometimes break-ups aren't always mutual, sometimes it's one person who doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. it takes two to tango."
lando tousled with his hair, what could he say to that? she wasn't wrong. she couldn't deny the hurt and sadness that was in his green eyes, she hated that she made him feel that way but they were nothing. they've been broken up. by definition, they didn't have anything to do with eachother anymore, but she still had that care inside of her heart for him. after all, it had only been two months.
"just hear me out, and by the end of tonight, if you don't want to see me anymore, i'm gone. i won't try to contact you anymore," lando gave an ultimatum and she was fine with that, because she knew well that whatever he said, she would still say no.
she sat down on her couch, patting the space next to her to at least give him some sort of hospitality, wanting to hear him out even though she was steadfast in her decision.
"i won't bug you to come to my races anymore, i'll even help you with helping your family—"
"you can't throw money at this problem, lando."
"i'm not throwing money at it, i'm just saying that it's an option and you can take it if you feel like you need it," lando's voice was always pleading— begging for her to hear him out. he wasn't that type of guy, never. all of his exes got the same type of treatment, if they said that they were done, then lando wouldn't even bother.
he was a formula one driver, he didn't have the time.
but for her, he did.
she looks up, her arms still folded in front of her chest, legs curled up beneath her as she tries to find a comfortable position in an uncomfortable situation. glancing at the clock on the coffee table, it read in bright red neon numbers that it at 4:27 am, far too early or late for him to be here.
"we've had a similar conversation before, and i refused. so i'm refusing again," she sighs before meeting lando's eyes for the second time tonight, "i don't understand why you would want to keep this relationship. it doesn't benefit you for dating a poor girl."
"do you really think i care about your financial status?" lando asked, almost if it the thought of him caring about his (ex)girlfriend's financial status was ridiculous. he didn't care, it's the way she made him feel for the entirety of last year. she made him feel whole, like even if the world was against him, she would still be there.
she was used to men coming into her life who could think that they could "save" her and lando was no different to all of those other men. sure, she was definitely struggling trying to pay for her younger siblings education while working and pursuing her degree at the same time but that doesn't mean she was a damsel in distress and she expressed that to lando.
lando closed his eyes in frustration, "no, i didn't mean it like that—"
"well you sure as hell worded it like that," she looks away from him yet again, refusing to meet his eyes again until he had to leave. her eyes were glued to the window that overlooked the city, it was beautiful, calming— peaceful even, "i'm not changing my mind lando, we're worlds apart. i don't need you helping me, i can take care of myself."
with that, lando bit his lip and she ushers him out of her flat.
it had been months since lando's seen her, but he never forgot. he couldn't. the way she smelt, the way she laughed, everything still stuck in his brain as he continued his career.
the world didn't revolve around him, so the show must go on.
calling her old number had also become routine, almost an obsession. every finish, every weekend, anything that had to do with his career, lando would try and call her and tell her how his races were going, as if he wasn't talking to an automated robot on the other end of the line. the automated voice was practically his best friend because he's heard the damn voice so many times.
"the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected. please try again later."
and try again later he would.
he didn't understand himself, was it an obsession or was it the comfort that it gave him when he dialed her number? he didn't know. but sometimes he would hold up that phone to his ear and talk as if she was on the other end of the line, even though lando knew that there was no one waiting on the other line for him, not anymore.
but, the show must go on, right?
#Spotify#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fic#ln4#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1
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Considering how 911 has forgiven every terrible parent of the main characters, not forgiving Eddie who has devoted his entire life to Christopher since he was born would be absolutely ridiculous. Like Buck's whole speech to Chris on why to forgive Eddie is him forgiving his own parents who drove him to self-harm to gain attention? Which is way worse than what Eddie did. We've been told time and time again how much Eddie's parents messed him up in canon, and now suddenly they are the more 'stable' choice to parent a kid?
Another point if we continue with Eddie losing Chris is it would reinforce the very harmful lie that Eddie thinks: he cannot have joy, forgiveness, and identity outside of his son.
The blowout with Kim only happens once Eddie tries to find closure with Shannon in a very messed up form on non-consensual therapy. Eddie recognized what he was doing wrong and tried putting a stop to it. He was not going to go to Kim again after telling her about Shannon. But once he finds some sort of closure, he is punished harshly by his son walking in and then walking out of his life, making his worst nightmare come true.
He finds forgiveness with the help of the priest and joy in a very very long time? The newest clip seems to punish him immediately with now Chris might not even come back.
CHRIS'S POV
Even from Chris's POV, it doesn't make sense that somehow both the Diaz grandparents suddenly gained emotional intelligence and maturity to raise Chris in a healthy environment to get over his trauma when they couldn't do that for more than 30 years?! Chris is avoiding, I doubt he is getting therapy there to deal with it. It was traumatic and he is valid for being mad but staying mad is hurting him. Eddie's whole arc and issue stem from the toxic masculinity that he needed to unlearn which makes him the king of repression. You know who caused a silly goofy man (Eddie at his core is very silly and is forced to be serious) to repress? His parents who are now somehow better options to deal with Chris's complicated emotions?
They think Chris loves the water, but they don't know the enormous work Eddie did to help Chris get over the tsunami. Chris breaks down during COVID because he misses Carla and his friends which dredges up his abandonment issues? They don't know that it was Buck who supported him through it and how Eddie adjusted his relationship with Ana to make him more comfortable. They don't know that Eddie quit the job he loved so Chris wouldn't be scared of losing him. They don't know how scared Chris was when Eddie got shot. We often focus on how Buck broke down and how Chris hugs him but Chris is breaking down with him together.
THE WILL (DISREGARDING ROMANCE)
Eddie's not stupid. He didn't put Buck instead of his parents in his will out of spite. Because really when it comes down to it, Buck was the best option for the will in canon. In the very beginning, we were told Tia Pepa and Abuela can't take care of Chris full time (thus, Carla). But Carla is paid for her job, she won't be on the will. Eddie has no other family in LA and we don't know how his situation is with his sisters. However, considering canon implies then to be younger (thus his parentification), Eddie would consider them too young (subjective) to raise his son. None of the 118 is as involved with Chris as Buck is. In fact, a big reason is the fact that is that Buck allows the Diaz boys a safe space which Eddie was not allowed to have growing up.
Buck has respected Chris's autonomy (admires it even- canon from s2), supports and listens to him without making him feel bad, expresses his emotions and finds ways to support him (like finding equine therapy, accessible skateboard) and respects his decision even if he doesn't like it (going to Texas). And I'm not saying because of Buddie or anything. Even if they remain platonic co-parents (co-parenting as described by Oliver Stark and Ryan Guzman), they serve as parallels to things Eddie wouldn't have gotten from his parents if he was in Chris's position.
Eddie was forced to manage his mother's emotions while his father was absent. Chris has a dead/absent mother but never has he had to manage Eddie's emotions. When Eddie has a mental breakdown, he calls Buck and is told to focus on his own healing (equine therapy). Time and time again, Eddie has said that his problems are not on Chris to help.
When Chris wakes up crying from a nightmare about the tsunami, Eddie gets him help and never criticizes him. What do you think happened when Eddie would wake up from his own nightmares after being discharged from the army? He was living with his parents, Shanon and baby Chris, there's no way his parents didn't know about it. We have proof in canon that Eddie never received any help and Shannon was at the end of her rope until she abandoned him. All his parents did was fight him for custody and applaud him for almost dying (aka silver star).
POSSIBLE FIX
One way to maybe fix this is by working with the theme of Eddie reclaiming his agency. If he goes to Texas to fight for his son, to have that communication, group therapy even, letting Chris know he is working on making himself better and that Chris needs to confront his issues and how running away and not feeling with grief is how the Kim situation happened in the first place.
Or, I understand that Gavin McHugh might want to take a break and return to the show except a few scenes. We can give him the Denny or May Grant treatment, where they are there but we don't see them anymore, just referenced. Like have a video call saying he wants to come back, show Eddie ecstatic and ready to hug someone at the airport, fade to black, and next time we can have Eddie on cloud nine but also scared of losing Chris again.
TLDR; It's unfair to punish Eddie when every main character's terrible parent has been forgiven and reinforces the idea that he isn't allowed to have joy, forgiveness and identity outside of Chris. Keeping Chris with his parents implies they are a better choice when they're the reason Eddie has these issues. There are better ways to handle the situation while minimizing Gavin's screen time.
#911 abc#eddie diaz#911#christopher diaz#buckley diaz family#911 spoilers#evan buck buckely#evan buckley#buddie#the will without it's romantic implications#the only time Eddie's parents have canonically been proud of him is when he almost died in a war thousands of miles away#anti helena diaz
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JADE'S EXPRESSION TWISTS AT THE WORDS , an almost incredulous huff escaping her before she swallows it . her hands tighten slightly where they are on brodie's shoulders before she catches herself in the motion and consciously loosens her touch, jaw clenching even as she slides gently hands from brodie's shoulders up to the sides of her neck . it's an idle touch, and jade isn't sure if it's purpose is to comfort brodie or herself . either way she can't help but honestly admit, " well, it's kind of too late for that ." she swallows before softly adding, " ... there's no one i trust more than you, brodie ." the truth of the words doesn't make jade feel any less stupid for them . after all, their break up absolutely fucking crushed her at the time . ripped her heart right out in a way that she can still remember . and yet, it was still brodie . brodie who was the first person she wanted to talk to when something went wrong . brodie who was her first call when something went right . brodie who she couldn't imagine living without . who she couldn't force herself to be without, truly . because honestly, after the breakup that should've been it . both of them going their separate ways . cutting things off cold turkey . and yet even then jade couldn't let go . she couldn't let go now either . it was brodie . even if jade doesn't know if she could handle that pain again, she knows that she would trust brodie not inflict that pain again . and maybe that was the problem . " okay, are you getting competitive over his ability to concuss you ?" jade replies with a light roll of her eyes . her lips twitch almost reluctantly and it's then that she forces herself to let it go . she meets brodie's eyes with a halfhearted twinkle in her own . " that's my mistake, brodie . how could i ever think he would be strong enough ?" jade says gently even as she brings her hands up gently to brodie's head to check it over one last time . it's with a softening of her eyes that she nods . " ... okay, sure . i'll play nurse for the night then ." it's then that she leans in to press a soft kiss to brodie's cheekbone, pulling back with a sincere, " thank you ." a smile . "for humoring me ."
it was hard to believe only because brodie could never forgive herself for hurting jade in the way that she did. so she took it out on the other people who hurt her but didn’t care when they hurt her. it wasn’t like brodie was really looking for a relationship after her. the only time she would take someone home was out of spite, seeing jade having fun with her dates or her boyfriends, or whoever it was. but if she had a choice, she would always choose jade. even if nothing happened, even if they were going to watch a movie and fall asleep on each other. she knew she was absolutely fucked in any regard. “i don’t trust myself, okay? and you shouldn’t either. i could try to be a good partner again… and then fuck it up, and hurt you even worse than before.” she got so scared of having such deep feelings for someone, that she often ran away. jade was impossible to run away from. and it made it so much harder to deny herself the satisfaction of being with her because jade knew how to make her feel better about every single thing. “i’ve been hit in the head with a bowling ball, fallen from four stories and haven’t gotten concussed. he barely threw a punch. don’t overestimate his strength; he couldn’t give me a concussion.” she scoffed a little, and then realized that she was just trying to take care of her and her expression softened. “but… just to be sure, don’t let me fall asleep. and get me some ice, and i’ll be happy as a clam. you can be my own personal nurse.”
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god where's that post that went something to the effect of "stop writing characters who talk like they're trying to get a good grade in therapy"
#i really wish i were eloquent enough#to adequately explain#how deeply off-putting and weird it is#it's OKAY to write characters who are toxic!#it's OKAY to write characters who lack emotional intelligence!!#EMOTIONS ARE MESSY#it doesn't make them wrong and it doesn't mean that as a writer you agree with what the character is doing#IT MAKES CHARACTERS HUMAN!!!!!!!#So many fandom writers have gotten caught up in the idea of only portraying the most#healthy and/or morally correct interpretation#and if they do anything less it's a statement on their *personal* morality#and i can't even express how wrong and stupid that is#and gosh don't even get me started on 'morally correct' kink#'i'm going to write this character stopping to ask permission every second so that the reader knows that's what you're supposed to do!' :))#THIS IS FICTION! THIS IS FICTION!!#ARE YOU TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE CHARACTER'S STATE OF MIND?? OR ARE YOU JUST PROSELYTIZING!?!??!!#Fuck off fuck offffffffffff
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Spencer Boldman's line delivery and comedic timing in Lab Rats gives me life
#his caliber of acting on a show intended for kids is just wonderful. like yeah Adam can be annoying but because of Spencer I still laugh#not to mention TJ too he's right up there next to him#I can't get over how Spencer delivers some lines in the show they genuinely make me laugh even though it's something so stupid#don't get me wrong the main cast usually do a good job at delivering jokes but Spencer and TJ have great expressions and comedic timing#it's just the little things too like little facial expressions or gestures the cast make like how Chase usually points at something when-#being a little shit or when he wants to emphasize something that just make the show more fun. I keep track of this stuff because I love it#disney lab rats#lab rats#spencer boldman#adam davenport
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The vague idea of possibly someday getting a dragonfly tatooed on my chest starting to look more and more like a future possibility to seriously consider
#ацо шаљи твит#as in i am no longer 13 and imagining a vague future i dont grasp as real and incoming but an adult with unrestricted bodily autonomy#its so strange.#when i was a child i could never concieve of myself as like. wanting tatoos or piercings or even drinking.#like i didnt even see it as something ill be able to do as an adult. i was always stuck in this mindset of#''well that sounds fun but of course *i* can't do that"#''this is a cool thing that a lot of people do but OBVIOUSLY it'd be stupid if *i* specifically did that''#''every fun and natural way of expressing individuality is for everyone else but me because i'd do/wear/make it sound wrong''#christ alive childhood was painful#wish i knew how to stop torturing myself as an adult.
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Anyway, hope you're all doing well
I just... I haven't slept and also I've got like... 2-4 days of tumblr to catch up on... mostly to make sure I don't lose anything I want to keep requeuing
In many ways I'm probably doing better than I have been in a long time... maybe ever, but... I've got zero focus, I can barely watch youtube videos, I certainly can't play games... I can't get myself to clean... I don't know man
It's like... it's like my mind's empty except for some thick clear goopy sludge... it's like being over at a strange house sat alone in a big room waiting for people to come back... not wanting to touch anything so you just sit there staring and feeling out of sorts, except it's just constant in my own house in my own room... just saw Bart flop down in front of my door and realized I'm so out of it I forgot I had cats
It's like I'm living every moment in the moment, but not in a peaceful way, in a I'm untethered from reality and trying to figure out plans or how to deal with getting everything sorted out is just kinda painful kinda way
Then my mood... well... I kinda have no mood. I'm fucking numb if I'm honest. I have flavor opinions like "I'm worthless and should kill myself", but I actually don't even feel depressed right now, I feel nothing
I don't see much point to my future even if everything goes great, and I would like to kill myself, but I have zero interest in even considering it right now even though I have everything I need around if I just stand up and take a single step
So... much as it probably sounds like I'm just pure in the trash right now, I'm actually in many ways probably doing better than I ever have before... I'm just also real messed up right now at the same time
I don't feel hopeful, I never feel hopeful, but I do feel like I can maybe guide shit into a good position, it's just once again I figure that even if I do everything I want to with being able to help other people out and stuff, I'll still just kinda end up alone in a crowd
You know... funny thing is I'm thinking "the fuck is even the point I wanted to make?", and I realize... my point was actually that I'm doing pretty good and not to worry... not sure how well I'm selling it, but it's true
I hesitate to assign anything to myself, my stance on me and anything I can't conclusively say tends to be no comment... but if I were looking at someone else describing what I'm feeling in my position, I might be inclined to say burnout... months of having to be on and clean and manage everything and... all that... well it's one explanation, who knows if it's correct
Anyway though, I'm good, don't worry, know I do appreciate you all and wish I had more brain power to say more to more people... it's just maybe kinda sad that this is my version of doing good... the fuck is wrong with me if I wake up everyday feeling like I've been beaten with clubs... and for me this is kinda peak... what's that say about my baseline?
Doesn't matter, only thing to do is keep moving forward
Guess insomnia paired with not really being able to think, like words just kinda pop out with no planning... guess it makes me ramble real bad, this was supposed to be like one or two paragraphs being positive
It's a Beautiful World
#mm tag so i can find things later#to be clear; I'm referencing the Devo song; and if you know the song... that's kinda a negative thing to say#it's a beautiful world... for you... it's not for me#that's the sentiment I express when I say that; just to avoid confusion... though... confusion I can't deny is also kinda the point#I like hiding things in plain sight; I like lies of omission#...but also... is it so bad to try and let people think I'm being more positive than I am seeing as people have a problem with how I am?#makes them sad; you know?#I'm not even meaning to be negative; I'm just trying to lay out my thoughts so people don't have to read my mind#I think people will probably read this and take it as extremely negative but... it more just is#my brain feels broken right now... that's not meant as doom and gloom... just a statement of fact#people always seem to worry about me... but... they kinda... worry about the wrong stuff#...they kinda... it's like if someone was really worried cause I skinned my knee and it looked real gross but was pretty surface#and I just couldn't get them to stop focusing on that and listen to the fact I had internal bleeding and that was much worse#it's not the fact I want to kill myself that's the problem; it's not that I can often be melancholic#it's all the systemic issues going on... the isolation; the... never feeling like I succeed... that kinda thing; you know?#the money and the getting things stabilized#even if life goes perfect and I even somehow get the stuff I think is literally impossible for me to get that I want so bad#...good chance I'll still be kind of melancholic#...but would that really be so bad? if I was just a little glum when it came to me?#despite the fact that with everything that's not me I say 'lets just keep moving forward and change what we can'?#despite the fact I tend to have a very upbeat... lets not dwell on the past; lets see how we can fix the now kinda mindset?#despite the fact I think I must seem a bit stupid and bumbling in person cause I always tend to be kinda 'it is what it is'?#just because I think bad thoughts and you hear how I think on here... my actions aren't enough to outweigh that?#clean all that shit; but I dare to not like myself very much... seems like weighing the two I really am just negative or whatever; eh?#and by god always make sure to tell me to get a therapist even though I'm both working on that and also it won't fix me#if therapy fixed me I'd be fixed at like 14; it's systemic shit; like I said... therapist can just help a bit#...what I really need is for more people to turn towards me a bit more... 20% of the time even... nah I don't want to elaborate#I don't want to phrase that the more understandable way; I want everyone to... miss it... I can't stand to be seen and then ignored... agai#wish people would worry a little less about me and help a little more... mostly by just being company#can't a body fall down stairs in peace? you know?
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NSFW
Sitting on Toji's lap, watching TV together as he knocks back a couple beers. He keeps the bottle nestled between your legs when he's not sipping on it, his arm resting on your upper thigh area while his other hand mindlessly rubs and grabs at your tummy over your shirt. Every once in a while he leans in close to press a kiss to your temple and checks in on you. You can smell the alcohol on his breath, but he's pretty well behaved for being intoxicated, you think.
You don't know if he's occasionally rubbing the bottle against your crotch on purpose or if it's something he's unknowingly doing. Maybe he's fidgeting with it to give his hand something to do. You scoot back, away from the bottle, just incase he isn't doing it on purpose.
He stills the movement of his hand when you shift in his lap, moving away from where he keeps his bottle. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" He asks, his warm breath fanning against your ear. His free hand moves down to squeeze your inner thigh, the joint of his thumb grazing your pelvis.
"No, you're okay," you respond, putting your hand on his, turning briefly to smile at him before facing the TV again.
Toji progressively moved the bottle so that it ended up back between your thighs, the body of it rubbing up against you again, causing you to jolt at the sensation.
"What's wrong, pretty?" he murmurs, into your ear, his lips curled into a devilish smirk.
"The bottle..." you mumble, coy about addressing what's had your firm attention for a while now.
He peeks down at the evidence, his chin resting on your shoulder as he looks at the way the bottle is pushed snug up against your cunt.
"You're dirty, mama," he teases, a deep chuckle rumbling through his chest. "You're liking it, aren't you?"
"What? You're the one trying to get me off with your-"
"Shh..." once again you're met with a whiff of the alcohol lingering on his breath. You can taste remnants of it through the sloppy, wet kisses he steals from you. "You're liking it, aren't you?" He repeats, grinning at your flustered expression. "Look at her, look at her," he says, which only makes your cheeks burn even more, when he laughs, mockingly. "You are."
You sigh. He may be drunk, but he's not wrong.
"Say it, baby," he purrs, into your neck. "Say it and i'll make you cum sooo hard." He teases you with a rub of the bottle against your clothed clit.
"Fucking hell," you mutter under your breath, feeling pathetic for giving in to his game. "Fine. I liked it. It felt good. Is that what you wanna hear?"
"Fuck yeah. Wanna make my pretty girl cum in her shorts," he says, immediately rubbing the body of the bottle against your crotch.
"I-If i'm dirty..." you release a sharp breath. "Then you're a pervert."
"Mhm. All for you, sweetheart." He palms at your chest over your tank top, squeezing while moving his hand in circles. He can feel your stiffened nipples through the thin material. He takes turns rolling the clothed buds between fingers to make sure that they stay stiff, but also because he knows how turned on you get when he plays with your breasts. "Such a dirty girl," he says, sultrily, into your ear. "Letting me get you off with a beer bottle. Little freak." You arch off his chest, in his lap, a short barrage of whimpers reaching his ears. He pulls you back into him, his arm firm over your chest. "Doesn't take away from how pretty you are." His voice is so deep, you can feel it in your guts.
"Toji-"
"No, it fuckin' doesn't," he growls, into your ear. "'S why i've always got my hands on you, tryna fuck like some filthy dog. Mmm... baby, just can't help myself around you. I'm not gonna stop. Can't do it."
You whimper, writhing against him as he continues to grind the bottle against your cunt. His rambling shouldn't be as hot as it is, but god, you don't want him to shut up. It's fueling how close you are to cumming because of how he maneuvers the stupid bottle.
"You wet for me? Soaked?"
"Fuck- Yes, Toji," you moan, hands gripping at his thighs.
He hums, content with your response. "Yeah? Gonna cum?" His hand goes beneath your shirt to feel your bare skin on it. He drives his palm up your torso, towards your chest, his fingertips meeting your left nipple, rubbing until it's stiffened like before.
"Mhm," you nod. "Please... Please!"
"Such a loud, needy little thing. I can feel your heat making its way up the bottle." He laughs, again, like he's making fun of you for being so turned on for his perverse actions. Like he wasn't the one who started this. Scarred lips attach to the nape of your neck, kissing gently like he's apologizing for being mean. "Cum for me, baby," he says, speeding up the movement of the bottle against your clit. He rolls your nipple between his fingers, and your body instantly reacts.
"Oh fuck, T-Toji, fuck, oh my god," you cry out, falling into the void of pleasure produced by this unorthodox object. You trap the bottle between your thighs and grind against it, greedily taking control of your pleasure. Toji holds the bottle still and just watches you, his tired eyes absorbing every one of your movements and expressions as you shamelessly ride out your entire orgasm.
"Fuck..." you whimper, eyes shut as your hips stutter to a halt.
He pulls his hand out of your shirt, entirely speechless for a few seconds. You didn't even notice, too far into your post orgasm bliss.
Toji sighs, feeling as tired as you because of the alcohol. He turns the TV off and takes the bottle out from between your thighs, setting it down on the ground before putting your dazed self into a more comfortable position to sleep in—curled up against his chest. "You're so hot, baby... Too bad I can't fuck you like this," he mumbles, tiredly.
"Mhm," you hum, already dozing off. Toji lays his head back on the couch cushion and shuts his eyes. In less than a minute, he falls asleep, too.
#toji#fushiguro toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji fushiguro x you#jjk fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jjk x y/n#jjk drabbles#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk scenarios
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boys trying to survive nnn with their partner (141 + los vaqueros + könig x f!reader)
a/n: if it wasn't for @blissful-bunny, there wouldn't be nnn. LMAOOO i hope y'all will enjoy, it's my first time doing something like this... and i think i don't hate it as i did before!
mdni, as always. nsfw below + keegan's version here
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Being around Ghost durning this time is funny, to say the least. You know about this bet from Gaz, when you invited the whole Task Force 141 for dinner. There wasn't much of a reaction from you, just a nod and a hum that's interesting to hear that. Nothing more, until your boyfriend's friends went home, and you stayed with him, washing dishes.
"You think you're gonna last?" you ask, and you pretty much can't stop yourself from laughing when he gives you a side eye.
"'s just a month." he grumbles, and you know, you somehow irritated him. Or, the bet did, you're not really sure. "Been through worse."
Theoretically, it is true. He's military, he has seen things that you won't ever see, something so stupid like this challenge shouldn't be something hard to do.
Practically? Practically, he takes every fucking chance to get closer to you. You're making breakfast, showering, washing the dishes? He's gonna be right behind you. It's not surprising at first, he liked to be near you always, but it has a malicious intent to it, when he drags his clothed cock up and down your ass, grunting right into your ear. He gets you worked up, and you're pretty sure he's gonna lose, but he stops right before he cums.
You can't really decide if it's funny or sad to see him like this. It's his pained expression that he gives when he bites on his lower lip, grumbling something about watching you touching yourself, so it will be better. You can't really say no to a man starved, so you put out a show for him, thinking how so much better his fingers would be in your pussy.
If it would depend on you, you'd kneel and relieve him, but what can you do, when he has this ridiculous challenge of his?
He breaks after two days, when he sees you in your shared gym, exercising. It's unexpected, when he puts down dumbbells you were working with, doing squats; you want to ask what's wrong, but when he lifts you up, your back hitting the wall, you just know. You even forgive him when he doesn't prep you enough, and he just thrusts into you without much thinking of it, his balls heavy.
You know you won't leave this gym for a long time.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
"You're participating in what?"
To say it was weird, was one thing. To say that Kyle does it, was even weirder, especially that he was straight from two months of deployment. Needy. You knew it, as you were with him almost three years by now, he had always spent hours in bed with you because he missed you like a madman. These two months were pretty much the longest you've been separated with him, so, you can imagine your surprise, when you learned about the challenge, when you two were cleaning your apartment. He was touching you every now and then, giving you little kisses, and now he was talking about something like this.
"I'm—"
"—No, I heard you" you chuckled, shaking your head. "I'm like… trying to understand who convinced you to do so."
"Bet with Soap. Lad thinks 'm not gonna last with you." he murmurs, and you just know that this motherfucker made this as a personal challenge. So, you just nod your head, to Kyle's surprise on his pretty face. "That's… all you're gonna say?"
"What else I'm supposed to say?" you raise your eyebrow, amused. "That I feel sorry for you, this will do?"
"That ain't funny."
"It is, kind of funny." you grin, as you kiss his forehead, at which he closes his eyes, so you repeat kissing his forehead a few times. "I'm gonna support you in this, yeah? So it's gonna be easier."
It wasn't easier. You could see that he glances at you every now and then, when you are doing domestic things around the house, giving him little, encouraging smiles. Little do you know that Kyle's bulge is growing larger and larger every time he looks at you.
Gaz is pretty calm, at least until he sees you in his t-shirt (that is way too big for you) and just panties underneath, sitting right beside him with a bowl of popcorn. You two planned to watch a movie, but your boyfriend quickly brushes it off, as his hand wanders under the hem of your panties.
"Kyle, you—"
"I know." he almost growls, as he puts you on his lap.
The moment he feels your wetness, he's a gone man; he makes you ride him, and the challenge is just a fading memory, when his lips attack yours.
John "Soap" MacTavish
Soap is absolutely offended when everyone in Task Force 141 tells him he's gonna lose the challenge. He can't shut up about it for an hour straight, as he lays with his head on your lap, telling you something about celibacy and being true lover, not some "horny arse like the others". You listen to it with a small, amused smile on your lips because as much as you love your boyfriend, everyone is right about it.
He's not gonna last, and he knows it personally too, but you say nothing about it. You just listen to Johnny's ramblings, until his eyes are on you, observing your reaction so casually.
"What do ya think? 'm gonna beat it? Be the best?" he tilts his head like a puppy, squinting his eyes. It's an icy ground you're standing on right now.
"I think… it's gonna be hard." you answer; slowly, reluctantly. It's not something that he wants to hear though, as he groans, shaking his head with displeasure. "What? You asked!"
"I ken it's gonna be hard. 'm askin', if 'm gonna beat it" he emphasizes his last words, and you can feel he barely holds himself from rolling his eyes.
"…well, baby, as much as I have faith in you in other things…"
It's not a good answer for him, nor for a challenge, considering that you end up getting fucked by him – it's some kind of punishment, he tells you, when he folds you in half. He tells you that he also didn't lose the challenge, technically, as you had sex November 1st , at 3 a.m. You nod, hesitantly, so you could go to sleep without causing him to ramble about it again; you are exhausted.
It takes him three days of fucking you in various places to finally come into the conclusion that the challenge isn't for him. Three days of promising and hearing him whining that it's gonna be 'st the tip, baby, to feel you good.
"Good that you've figured that out." you say with a small smile, in restaurant's bathroom, his forehead against yours, as his cock is still buried deep inside you.
"Lasted longer than lads. Sure of that."
John Price
You want to think of your husband highly, when you hear of this stupid thingy. The authority, someone that leads the Task Force 141, setting the example for his younger proteges with his willpower. Someone who actually cares about engaging in challenges, even if they're stupid, even if he shouldn't even look at something like this.
Yet, you know John, you're married to him, for God's sake – and you know his sex drive. When this man is home, nothing and no one stops him from getting what he wants, and that's on you. In your mind, there's a core memory of him saying that he absolutely loves your pussy, multiple times.
So it's not a surprise that he doesn't participate in this challenge. It's not a surprise when he babbles about having kids with you while he fucks you wherever he can; kitchen counter, under the shower, your couch. His obsession over kids grew over this month more than ever, and you were happy to meet his expectations in a middle, since you thought of having a little angel in your small family for a longer time now. Having a dog wasn't enough.
A surprise comes when he proudly admits that he won in the end of the month. Boys are pretty much shocked by this, considering that their Captain didn't even look frustrated once, and he was in better mood than usual. Yet, they don't have a place to complain, so they accept the defeat with a frown on their faces, and a quick comment from Soap that he for sure cheated.
"You didn't win, honey." you laugh to him, sitting at his lap, when he's in his office, alone.
Price arches his eyebrow in amusement. "I did."
"That's not really—"
"Listen, we were tryin' for babies, weren't we? It wasn't egoistical fuckin'." he explains, completely serious.
It takes all in you not to either gasp or laugh again. "So, if it would be without the intention of making babies, you'd lose?"
He gives you a quick nod. "Exactly, missus. Exactly."
Alejandro Vargas
It's easy to last a few days for Alejandro. Maybe even a week, or a bit more. With his kind of work, being a Colonel, you often didn't see him for days, or even weeks if it was a bad time. Right now, with working over destroying a Mexican cartel, being home was rare for him. Was it saddening? Of course, but you knew what you were doing when you married him, you've talked with him about it for days, maybe weeks, even.
So, maybe that's why he didn't really think much of a challenge when he agreed to it, one of the nights he was drinking with Los Vaqueros. Just for fun, just to make a fun memory in this mess they were in. Days were passing in the blink of an eye with the same routine; a few hours of sleep if he's lucky, patrol, documents, action and repeat. Nothing too fancy, nothing too new for a man of war like he is, he got used to it all.
Harder was the moment he came home to you, where you were waiting for him with your open arms, all needy for his presence, for his touch, but somehow, somehow he managed, giving you the best orgasm of your life with his mouth only, even if he was in need too.
"Cariño?" he calls you, confused, when he doesn't see you in bed in the next morning. In his sweatpants only, he goes to the kitchen, following the sound of pan that sizzles lazily in the background.
"Makin' breakfast, Ale!" you reply, looking behind your shoulder with the biggest smile that slowly falters the moment you see his eyes darkening in the span of seconds. "What's with the face?"
He approaches you slowly, caging you between his arms. "Just… appreciating" he says, as he starts kissing your neck "my little wife. Who's been really patient with me, gone for so many days. And now, you're making me breakfast—" he groans, shaking his head. You can feel his growing bulge, as you grind your ass against it.
It's obvious that Colonel lost the challenge, after he arrives to his work with his wife, his arm possessively around her. Why? Maybe it's your neck covered in hickeys, your trembling legs, or his arms visibly scratched, but no one says anything about it in the base.
Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra
You have a kind of forbidden romance with him; you're the one of Los Vaqueros, and the romance is absolutely prohibited here, to prevent the collapse of the squad. Not to mention that he's a right hand man of Alejandro, so he has to follows the rules directly. Maybe even more than anyone here, to be honest; setting an example that he's not a exception to the rule.
It doesn't help that you're so kind. That you nod every time you see him as a silent greeting, and then you rush to do whatever you have to do today. It doesn't help him that you're helping everyone around you with a smile that could light up the whole town, and he smiles every time he sees it, too.
Everyone pictures that Rudy would win the challenge easily, since in their heads, his head wasn't occupied with anyone, and he could easily withold himself with his desires.
And maybe he would. Maybe he would, if you weren't the one guarding the base with him, if you weren't the one who was smiling at him with those plump lips of yours.
"If you'd only know how much I thought about… hah—" his breaths are ragged, as the pace of his hips gets quicker. His lips finds yours, as he kisses you with such hunger, you know without a doubt that he means what he says. It automatically makes you smile.
"It's fate that binds us, then" you say, your fingernails clutching at his arms; you're sure that you're the creator of bloody crescents here, but you can't care less about it. Not when the man of your dreams is fucking you.
He smiles at your words.
Rudy never been a good liar, and you painfully learn it, when Alejandro asks him why he's so happy; as you stand nearby, you hear the whole conversation. It's cute in some way, the way he's a blabbering mess, without any sense of it.
It takes Colonel's one look at you, and he knows.
You never walked faster to your work, neither did Rudy.
Konig
If you think he's gonna even try playing at this, you're in deep denial. Maybe if he'd be alone he could try of a genuine curiosity, but not when he has you. Such a pretty, obedient girlfriend, that he has wrapped around his finger, and a girlfriend that is pretty much at his service every time he wants.
He's a man to laugh about that challenge with his squad, telling them that they're filthy, and he would last the whole month, maybe even longer, if it weren't for you. Because he's such a caring boyfriend, he listens to your needs, even if you're whiny.
At least, that's the story that his squad knows.
He tells you about this while he folds you in half, that he needs to act a little grumpy around his squad, to put a facade that he's hungry because it's the right thing to do. When you suggest that he could even try, he barks a low laugh, while he pumps his cock before thrusting into you.
"Schatz, as if. Not gonna play the kids game." it's all he says, kissing you with affection on your swollen lips. "I do not intend on torturing you like this. You wouldn't survive a day without my dick."
There's some truth to it — but you're truly wondering if that's you who wouldn't survive without his dick, or he, that wouldn't survive without your pussy and sex, considering he is even more of a maniac than you are.
dividers by cafekitsune
#cod x reader#call of duty#simon riley x reader#soap x reader#john price x reader#alejandro vargas x reader#konig x reader#ghost x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#gaz smut#simon riley smut#soap smut#john price smut#konig smut#rudy x reader#rudy parra#tf 141 x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#this is so fucking long i swear to god#ghost cod#simon riley#john soap mactavish
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Satoru Gojo, the strongest, who cared only about dominating the court suddenly cared only about you. Him and his team were practicing for a game next week in the school gym when he noticed you sitting among the crowd of spectators. Whenever him and his team practice, the students in school will always come watch in their free time. He recognized some familiar faces, but you, he doesn't recognize you. He had never seen you here before, and something about you dragged his attention towards you.
Satoru, who never misses a shot when he has his hand on the ball, suddenly misses? Dead silence. His team stared at him with confusion and disbelief that the Satoru Gojo missed a shot. His best friend and teammate, Suguru, came up to him with concern in his eyes and asked– "Are you alright, Satoru?"
Satoru runs his hand through his hair and huffed out a fine to his best friend. What the fuck just happened to him? Must have been a fluke he said to himself as his eyes wandered towards the crowd who was gossiping about his failed shot. His eyes then wandered towards you who was staring right at him. His eyes widen when you caught him staring at you before quickly turning away. His heart racing in his chest in an uncontrollable pace. He noticed Suguru and his teammates still staring at him with concern in their eyes.
"C'mon, let's continue practice," he sighs. "I just got distracted. It won't happen again."
The team was reluctant to continue practice because no matter how distracted Gojo was, he had never missed a shot. He could practically play a game with his eyes closed and not miss, but all of a sudden, he missed? As practice continued, Satoru made no other mistakes. He didn't miss again, but every time he scores, his eyes always end up wandering towards you.
Fuck. What the fuck is happening to him? Why can't he stop his eyes from going towards you whenever he scores? Why is he so focused on the way your eyes light up in awe as he makes every shot? The way you wet your soft looking lips with your tongue as you stood at the edge of your seat. You were a sinful sight to behold.
When practice ended, Satoru quickly left the court to go to the locker room. As he pushed past his teammates, he noticed their confused expression. Their confusion was understandable because, normally, Satoru would be the last one to their locker room. Satoru loves attention, so he would always give out fan services when practice or a game ends. However, this time, Satoru was quickly pushing open the gym door to escape, and his eyes wander towards you one last time before completely exiting the gym. He doesn't like what he's feeling right now. It was suffocating, but it's ok, right? Today was just a one-time thing. Oh, how wrong he was.
Since that day, he noticed that you always were there during their practice. He knows you're not from his school because of your uniform, so who exactly were you? Who allowed you in? And why is it that he couldn't get enough of you? Why did you suddenly show up in his life out of nowhere?
Satoru sat down on the bench as the other continued the practice game, wiping his sweat with his towel as he secretly watched you. You who had his under some kind of spell. You who he hasn't spoken one word to since the day he saw you. He wanted you to say his name. Hear the syllables of his name come out of your soft looking lips. Gojo wasn't dumb. He just likes pretending to be, so it doesn't help that he knew exactly what was going on with him. He knew what he was feeling, and it was downright stupid. Fuck love at first sight. It shouldn't exist. He shouldn't want to kiss you. He doesn't even know your name! He groans as he run his hand through his hair again. He curse at himself before he felt something cold touch his cheeks.
"What caught your eyes, Captain?"
Satoru took the water bottle from Shoko's hand and took a big sip. "What are you doing here, Shoko? Don't you have that medical test or whatever to study for?"
Shoko rolled her eyes at his comment– "That was yesterday Gojo. So are you just going to ignore my question? Clearly, something is up for you to miss your shot a few days ago."
"No idea what you're talking about," Satoru replied as he fixed his hair. "Didn't miss nothing."
"Right. It's not like the whole school was gossiping about you missing for the first time."
"These people and their big mouths..." He mumbles. Funny coming from him since he himself would have done the same if the situation was flipped.
Shoko looked toward the place Gojo was eyeing and then saw you. She blinked once and then looked back at Gojo before huffing out a small laugh. Someone is going to be in for a surprise.
"That's his sister, y'know?"
"Not funny, Shoko," Satoru said before looking at Shoko's expression. She was serious. You and your brother look nothing alike. He sighs before mumbling a curse under his breath.
"Oh fuck indeed," Shoko laughs again as she turned towards the gym door. "Going to need some sweets?"
"Yeah, I'll pay you back later."
"Free of charge today. My compensation for this free entertainment. It's going to be an interesting few days." Satoru was now left to his own thoughts. He couldn't help but sigh at his predicament.
Satoru never got the chance to speak to you. Whenever he tries to go towards you, he stops and turns away. He couldn't help but be nervous when it comes to you. It's not his fault that he thinks he'll faint from hearing your voice. He'll talk to you one day when the opportunity arises. It seems fate had granted him his wish. Satoru had met you outside one morning right before his team game. You had accidentally bumped into him while rushing.
"Ouch!" You rubbed your nose from the sudden collision before looking up at him with your innocent and beautiful eyes. Oh fuck. Your voice was music to his ears. He just gone to heaven and what made it even worse was how you looked. Why the fuck do you look so pretty this early in the morning? He himself could barely get out of bed for today's game. His hair is messy and all over the place. His shirt is not all the way buttoned, and his tie is hanging loosely over his neck. If he didn't have a game today, he would be at school getting scold. He just looked like a mess compared to you. Sure, he is a hot mess right now, but this was not the impression he wanted to give when he talked to you. He listened to your endless apologies before interrupting with a question.
"You coming to the game?"
"Huh?" You stopped your apologies at his sudden question before his question clicked. You didn't know he noticed you during his practices. Your eyes instantly light up and grab his hand. "Yes, I am! I'm very excited since it's my first time witnessing a game! I've been to your practice for a while because of my brother's invitation. Oh, my brother is–"
As you continued your rambling, Satoru's eyes were fixated on the fact that you were holding his hands. Your small and soft hand holding his. He stopped your rambling by taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. An intimate act. You looked up at him in confusion, and before you could say anything, he was tugging you along.
"Making sure you don't get lost on the way. Let's walk together to the stadium." An excuse to keep your hand in his even though you were practically strangers. He made sure you couldn't let go.
When the two of you finally arrived at the stadium, he had to let you go. He didn't want to let go, but he had to go towards the locker room so he could change into his game uniform.
"Name is Satoru Gojo. Call me Satoru. Let's hang out after the game today." He then brought your hand towards his lips and kissed it. His eyes moved up towards your eyes, holding your gaze as he whispered– "Keep your eyes on me." He then quickly left towards the locker room, his ears burning from his sudden boldness. While he can dominate the court, you have dominated his heart.
When he entered the locker room, his team was already getting ready for the big games. He quickly went to his locker beside his best friend and started to undress his school uniform. Suguru was already ready for the game, so he was sitting on the bench in the locker room, drinking some water.
"I'm in love with your sister," Satoru blurted out, causing Suguru to immediately spit out the water he was drinking. Confusion and disbelief were written all over his face.
"What?"
Part 2
#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#satoru gojo drabble#gojo satoru drabble#gojo satoru imagine#jjk imagines#satoru gojo imagine#gojo satoru headcanons#jjk drabbles#jjk headcanons#jjk#satoru gojo x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo headcanons
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i NEED anything with glasses reid or munch reid i’m literally frothing at the mouth 🙏
ty for ur request :D fem!reader
"Emily," you say weakly. "What is that?"
Emily looks up from her desk, clearly desperate for a distraction, the lip of her coffee mug against painted lips. "What's what?"
"That." You point. You feel sick to your stomach. "That right there."
"Oh," Emily says happily. "You finally noticed. Yeah, Spence forgot to renew his contact prescription. He has to wear glasses for two weeks."
Spencer stands by the photocopier with a perturbed frown, clicking a button, then another. His brow is furrowed and his hair is falling into his eyes. He has the stupidest, dorkiest, prettiest face, and practically every expression he makes has you weak in the knees.
"That long?" you ask.
Derek looks up in concern at your pained tone, following the line of your eyes. When he realises what it is that's hurt you so, he skirts around the desk to shake your shoulder. "You could always tell him how you feel. I'm sure he'd keep the lenses forever if he knew you liked them."
"I don't like them," you say. You sound faraway to your own ears. You hate them. They're gonna be your demise.
Spencer runs a fingertip across the photocopier's screen, in his own world as the machine finally begins to chug out whatever it is he'd been wanting a duplicate of. The frames of his glasses sit snug on his nose. You can tell from even this distance that the lenses make his eyes look a tiny bit smaller. You could probably point out a misplaced freckle if he asked you to.
"Don't be cruel, he looks cute," Emily teases.
Spencer collects his papers, shuffling them into a straight line as he makes his way back to the bullpen. You pretend to take interest in Emily's things. She sips her coffee too nonchalantly. Derek doesn't even bother pretending.
"What?" Spencer asks, swift to spot your suspicious behaviours. "Is it the glasses?"
You wince. "Of course not. You look… you look really nice, Spence."
"You know he used to wear 'em every day?" Derek asks.
You would've died. "Before I joined?"
"For a few years," Spencer says, looking you over. "You're unhappy. Is something wrong?"
He looks to Derek and Emily for confirmation. Emily stutters for an answer while Derek laughs in the background, "She– you know. She just– She missed breakfast!"
Spencer pushes his glasses up his nose by the leg and drops his copies onto the desk. "I have dried apricot in my bag. Two seconds."
He bends over his chair to retrieve his bag from under the desk. Your eyes blow wide at his position, the sudden demonstration of well-fitted pants. Derek's laugh echoes up to the eaves.
"And he has that twenty four seven," Emily says against the rim of her coffee.
You scrunch your eyes closed and tilt your head back. After a few seconds, a hand touches your elbow gently, a hesitance that comes with only one member of the BAU. "You okay?" Spencer asks.
"I'm okay. Headache," you lie.
Spencer presses the apricot into your hands. "Maybe you should see an optician. You know they can tell if you have a brain tumour from one photo of your sclera?" He smiles morbidly, his glasses slipping down his nose. "They measure the size of your optic disk. It takes less than a minute. I can give you the name of my doctor, if you want. She's nice. Not as nice as you."
Your throat is so dry you can't form words to answer him. He doesn't judge your rigid nodding.
"I'll write down the number for you. And, Y/N?"
"Yeah?" you choke out.
"You look really nice today, too."
Emily has to kick you in the leg to bring you back to earth. Stupid Spencer. Stupid lovely glasses.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader
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Part 1
Stupidly, Bakugo wanted to think that after fucking you in the beach, you'd be nicer towards him.
He thought wrong.
As he walked past you in the dining area later that evening for dinner, you didn't even glance at him once. You were engrossed in a conversation with the people you were sat with, and he angrily made his way over to where Kirishima was.
"Hey. Dude, you okay?" The redhead asked as Bakugo sat down, slamming his tray on the table, a scowl on his face as he picked at his food.
"Fucking great." He mumbled in response.
He was not fucking great. He was irritated, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, hurt. It wasn't that he was in love with you or anything, but Bakugo didn't just fuck anyone.
You were beautiful, and he liked that. You were funny, and you were bold and teasing, and you'd managed to get him to swim naked in below 8 degrees weather. And he couldn't help how he felt when you'd looked up at him in that water, how your eyes seemed to bore into his with an intensity rivalling his explosions.
He fucked you because he was overcome with the desire to have you, to get closer to you than anyone else could. And now? Now it felt like whilst that moment had been everything to him, it was nothing to you.
He was pissed to say the least, angrily shuffling to the back of the bus, ignoring Kirishima and Kaminari calling out for him. He sat next to the window in one of the last rows, turning to keep his attention on the view outside.
"This seat's free, right?"
He paused, turning to look at you as you sat next to him, putting your backpack under the seat before you.
"The fuck are you doing?" He grumbled harshly at you.
You faced him with a raised brow. "And I thought I was rude."
He scoffed. "It wasn't rude when you completely ignored me after last night?"
You huffed. "I wasn't trying to ignore you at least."
"Really? Because you acting like I didn't exist, isn't you ignoring me?" He soat out, keeping his voice low so the other in front of and behind him wouldn't hear him practically whining.
"Sassy much? What is this? Is this how you are?" You huffed, folding your arms over your chest, your voice soft as you spoke. "And sorry if I was a bit too awkward to talk to the guy who fucked me just minutes after meeting me. I don't know if you think I do that shit alot, but I can't be all buddy buddy with you an hour after you had your dick in me."
He paused as you spoke, his expression softening and his anger dissipating as he watched you fold into yourself, becoming much less feisty, much less bold, red tinging the tips of your ears.
He sighed, leaning back in his seat.
"So... you're good now, or what?" He asks after a few moments.
You shrug, turning to look at him. "We good now?" You repeat to him. "Gonna go back to not knowing each other?"
He scoffs, like you'd just said something stupid. "Fuck no. D'you know how long I've wanted you for?"
You smile to yourself as the bus starts moving. "I'm flattered."
Bakugo spends the rest of the ride playing with your fingers on his thigh, asking about your favourite food, and your hobbies, and why your resting bitch face is so mean, all the while, adamantly avoiding making eye contact with any of his friends.
#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#bnha x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugo smut
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i ii
sukuna fucked up.
he knew it well, so damn well that he did.
it's been a few weeks since your declaration that you won't be with him anymore until he gets his shit figured out — he hated being away from you, but dammit he knew he was an asshole.
he was an idiot to think you'd be under his influence forever.
sukuna's leg bounces as he sits on his bed, contemplating what to do now —it's been four weeks exactly since you had last spoken to him, and he had seen you around campus, laughing and talking with your friends normally without a care in the world, it made him wonder if he had ever had an effect on you the same way you do on him.
you told him that he was the guy for you all because he hadn't dropped you yet — he thought that was stupid, pathetic even, why would you ever think that?
the more he thought about it the more he realized how wrong he actually was.
he realized it in the way his days seemed lonelier without you, and how his heart always thumped extra loud with the thought of you, and the way you felt so good in bed — fuck, this is getting out of hand.
screw it all, he thinks, getting out of bed and stomping his way over to your dorm, hoping he'd find you there and awake.
it was a half hour past midnight when rapid knocks came at your door — you were on the couch doing some work on your laptop when you jumped from your skin at how loud it got.
you got up, a frown on your face as you make your way to the door wondering who the hell is knocking so damn loud so late into the night.
you open the door and you're immediately shoved inside — you let out a scream before you realize it's sukuna holding your face in both of his hands.
“i can't do it anymore.��� he says, his eyebrows furrowed and you stare up at him, confused.
“w-what?” you stutter, your face is still in his hands and you're cheeks are squished together and with that dumbfounded expression on your face sukuna thinks you look too cute for your own good.
“i can't do it, i can't stay away from you,” he says, and he sounds a bit out of breath and that's when you realize that his hair is dripping wet — had he come through the rain just to tell you this?”
“ryomen, what's —” you're cut off with his lips are against yours, he tastes of berries and cigars but god you melt under his touch.
he pulls away after a moment, he's forehead against yours as he stares into your eyes, taking deep breaths.
“i was a stupid asshole,” he says, “i am the guy for you.” he declares and once more you're dumbfounded.
is this his way of confessing to you?
you blink, once, twice, then you let out a laugh.
“you're so silly.” you say, and he frowns, “does that make us official then?” you ask, a smile on your face.
“if you want,” he grumbles.
you grab his face, pulling him in for a quick kiss, “of course i do.” you say and his heart beats a little faster.
man, he was head over heels in love with you.
taglist : @samaraxmorgan
#ok i promise things will be uphill from here#mostly anyway#drummer! sukuna college au#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk headcanons#jjk drabbles#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna headcanons#sukuna drabble#sukuna fluff#sukuna x reader
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°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°
You wake up in the comfort of your home, snuggled in thick fluffy sheets. Despite the cold, birds still chirp outside advising you to start your day already. You stay in bed a little longer today, staring out the window, trying to get a hold of your thoughts.
It's been a good few days since you left that Orcs house, a few days to think about the experience and mull over what to do next.
You jolt out of your thoughts when you see, out the window, quick anxious scampering behind the snow covered bushes. Jumping out of bed, you hastily get dressed, fumbling with your boots and grabbing your trusty bow hanging by the door and a few arrows. You peek outside, sneaking as quietly as possible on the old wooden floor of the stoop, arrow already notched against the bowstring. You can only see the critters ears, twitching, listening for any trouble. It's either a rabbit or a hare, you hope for the latter.
You wait there for a good fifteen minutes, bow strung, waiting for the thing to move just a little to the left of the bush for a better shot. Your fingers burn on the string, didn't have time to grab your gloves. The second it hops slightly out of the bush, you let go of the arrow and send it flying right into the cotton tailed critter.
When you step back inside your warm cottage, you make a beeline for the kitchen with the hare in your hand. It's quite a lucky catch, a large jack. You use this as an excuse, you actually come up with plenty excuses while you prepare a hearty stew. "There's so much meat here, it would be wrong not to share." "If I don't repay him, it'll weigh on me for far too long." "I need to bring him his flask back." "I need a good hike anyway."
Stupid rationales for the absurd idea you have conjured up. Nevertheless, you get out your fanciest ceramic pot and cook your best hare stew. You fret, far more than you'd admit, over how little ingredients you have due to the winter. Come afternoon, and you're trekking the woods, past the Human territory and into unwelcomed lands. You clutch the handle of the basket holding your steaming pot of stew tightly inside and his flask, which you filled with your favourite Red bush tea. This is just so you're even and then you never have to think about this Orc ever again.
Somewhere in your mind you know that's not true, You'll never be able to forget what happened. You were content in your woods, pretending you weren't lonely, why has this Orc changed that? It was easy pushing the cravings down before why is the hunger suddenly so present, so consuming.
You eventually step into the clearing where his home lies, Your thoughts continue to meander as your feet take you straight to the steps into his home. Now, you can't just leave it out for him but you can't just knock on the door and run away either...
You knock on the door three times, taking a deep breath and then cursing yourself for needing to do that. What if he doesn't want to see you again? Sure, he saved you from dying but that doesn't mean he'd want you in his home ag-
The door opens slowly, it takes you a minute to look up from the stone floor of the small veranda but when you do, it's those same dark brown eyes looking back at you. He looks shocked to see you, you expected as much. After a few awkward moments of staring, you hold the basket up with both hands, opening the top to reveal the red ceramic pot and his flask. He looks down at the parcel with a rather blank expression and it makes your skin crawl with anxiety. You gesture for him to take the basket and he quickly, with frustratingly gentle hands, takes it from you. He takes a peek inside the pot, letting the built-up steam poor out and his eyes grow even wider, you can't tell if he likes it or not and it's killing you.
Of course he didn't want to see you. The last time you were together he woke up to you, a stranger, on top of him watching him sleep! Your face is hot with shame, you turn to leave but then hear him say something in Orcish, you turn around to face him. You're a little taken back to see the hopeful look in his eyes as he holds the door open for you, waiting for you to accept his invitation.
Timidly, you step inside. Being here again sends a shiver down your spine. The Orc gently rests the basket on his little (in comparison to him) living room table, then heads to the kitchen. He comes back with a tray of two bowls, two mugs and cutlery. It shocks you how easily you take his silent invitation to stay for dinner as you both set the table as if it's a normal thing for basically strangers to do. While he dishes up hearty portions of steamy stew in rather large bowls, you pour the red tinted tea into the two mugs he brought.
You sit down on opposite sides of the wooden table and dig in. The spoon, like the bowl, is rather big and made out of what appears to be a hard dark wood. As you taste your stew, doubts trickle into your mind. Is it too runny? Is the meat too tough? Do Orcs prefer tougher meat? Is it too bland for him?
The scrape of his chair on the floor interrupts your thoughts and you look up at him. He's scooping up more stew with the serving spoon and plopping it into his empty bowl. You stare at him bewildered, he's already going for seconds. How did he even swallow all that so fast?
He notices you staring and looks embarrassed, like he's done something wrong. You shake your head lightly and gesture for him to continue. He smiles rather bashfully for an Orc and plops another spoon full onto his heaped bowl. You hide the smile that creeps onto your face behind a hot mug of tea.
After the pot has been thoroughly emptied and your stomachs are full, he starts clearing up his side of the table. You go to follow but he swiftly takes your bowl from you, sets it on the tray with everything else and walks off to the kitchen. For a second you sit rather dumbly at the empty table, the sound of splashing water comes from the kitchen as you look around the Orc's abode.
Your eyes are drawn to a packed bookshelf in the corner, you try not to be that impressed that an Orc would willingly read so many books. You imagine you would be pretty insulted if someone said that about you, and you know full well that reading is a lovely way to pass the time in such a quiet life as yours and his.
He steps back into the room holding two mugs of what was left of the tea, you suppose that means he likes it? He places them on the small table in front of the couch and takes a seat. He doesn't show any indication that he expects you to sit with him but you find yourself sinking down next to him anyway.
He picks up a little book on the low table and pages through it, it's green with bold Orcish on the front. You try to seem uninterested with what he's doing, staring down at your tea until he shuffles closer to you, pointing to a specific page in the book. You scrunch your eyebrows and lean closer, reading the text he's pointing to.
"Thank you."
Your breath catches and you read further down the page, seeing bold Orcish words followed by Human Common words.
It's a translation book.
You laugh (more like wheeze) in surprise and disbelief. The Orc looks nervous, looking back at the book to make sure he pointed to the right word. You gently take the book from him and page through it, searching.
After quite a while you finally find it, in what you assume is the "Helpful phrases" section and point it out for him.
"You're welcome."
He lets out a hearty laugh and you grin at the sound. You made him laugh. His eyes crinkle, deepening the crows feet just above his cheeks which seem a darker green than before.
After that you sit together in quiet comfort, drinking the rest of your tea and peeking at the words in his book as he pages through the translations. The book is new, the spine isn't creased from use and the pages are still firm and fresh. Did he get this book because of you?
The thought stirs something strange in your belly and you can't tell if you should invite it in or reject it. Your eyes shift to the window near the door and you jump when you see the sun is setting. How has it been that long?
You rise from the couch and grab your basket, shoving your now clean ceramic pot into it. The Orc looks at you confused, looks towards the window, and then shoots up himself, quickly heading to the kitchen. You shrug your fur coat on at the door and wait patiently for him to return, basket in hand.
He returns with the same flask he gave you the last time you left in a hurry. He may be even more bashful this time he hands it to you and you don't need to open it to know what's inside. You nod your head again in thanks and he smiles wider than you'd think an Orc capable, if you hadn't met him, that is.
You walk out of his house, flask tucked in your basket. When you reach the end of the clearing you turn around and there he is, standing on the veranda watching you leave. You hesitate for a moment and then give him a little wave goodbye. He returns it with his own.
As you walk through thick trees you wonder if the nearby human village has a book vendor. Not for any particular reason.
°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°
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#Reader slowly finds out what love is. Hope that won't backfire or anything.#orc x reader#monster x human#monster x reader#monster lover#monster fucker#monster boyfriend#terato#orc romance#orc x human#❆Orc woodsman
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Jimmy was so, so wrong about Anya throughout the game it makes me furious. He was wrong about her in basically everything, but it's especially aggravating how he dismisses basically everything she has been doing as a nurse.
I wouldn't be the first to say that the fact that she kept Curly alive for fricking five months or so is just insane. And the fact that Anya managed to stabilize him more or less with what limited resources that the crew had is just as impressive. Curly's condition was probably much worse when the crash first happened. Hell, he was definitely dying considering the injuries he got. Yet Anya saved his life! You know, actually, if Pony Express' nursing crash courses are bad, then what Anya managed to do is even more impressive than it already is.
Yes, she failed to get into a proper medical school, but we really don't know the details. Is it her anxiety and other mental health problems that compromise her? Is it the competitiveness of the field? Are the entry exams are even more brutal in the future than they are now? In any case, Anya still doesn't give up, she found a nice source of income considering the situation. Her job gives her the money to not die of starvation and keep trying to get into a medical school AND is related to the field she wants to work in! She's getting plenty of hands on experience that can help her to get what she wants!
So Anya's doing great. And Jimmy, what a surprise, is a stupid petty hater. He's just projecting big time when he talks lowly of people around him, just remember how he sounded at the birthday party scene. Since he's miserable, he must drug everyone down. He's completely blind to the fact that if anyone's a worthless loser who can't achieve anything in life on this ship, it's him.
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