#and i can't do that voluntarily
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Who need algorithmic cruelty when people on tumblr can find a post from the most traumatising period of your life.
#charlie is rambling#2018 me writing down that i haven't stepped outside in 3 weeks#2023 rando on tumblr: gonna liks that post#so to you random internet user i can tell you that it lasted more than 3 weeks#i was locked inside my appartment for months#fucking months#i should make all of those posts priva#but it mean reading them#and i can't do that voluntarily
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"I miss you"
"I miss both of you"
+ Timelapse
#kaiju no. 8#kn8 fanart#faldrawskn8#shinomiya kikoru#Morning doodle went too far emotionally#Tag spam incoming -------------->#thanks ep12 for reminding its been 10 years since no.6 attack...#how do i recover from this#how do I supposed to recover from this#kaiju took her mother's life and her father's smile#Kikorun it's okay Isao is proud of you he just can't express#he just carried way too much a burden of the nation#Shinomiya family#They keep paying the price to remind the country how much they're lacking in front of a looming threat before them#They voluntarily paid the price more than anyone asked them to pay upfront#and that because they love each other and all people involved#falramblingsohecanlives#(idk man whenever I tried to form a post my head goes empty)#(then I get to tags section and these thoughts just keep coming out)#(sorry not sorry)#kikoru shinomiya
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normal. normal and sane behaviour.
#can't believe i just did math Voluntarily.#iasip#its always sunny in philadelphia#lore dec#i wrote this all out on paper btw#sometimes i look at some of the things i do and go ohh yeah i have adhd
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soooo when I signed up for Codywan First Kiss Bingo I really thought I'd be able to do at least five pics to get one bingo skfsjl
but alas, November passed mostly in anxiety and depression, December has just been crazy busy until the last few days, so I've only managed to do two pieces, which I'm still happy about ofc, but still, I wish I had been able to do more :'D there's still December left so we'll see if I get more done after Christmas, but for now I have two pics
I'll post one tomorrow and the other one on Christmas day to give you guys something nice from me for Christmas <3 because you guys deserve all the nice things
#text post#this is why I rarely participate in anything#because I can't trust myself to be able to do it in the end#and oftentimes the pressure to do the things I've essentially promised to do builds up in my head and just gives me more stress and anxiety#and prevent me from doing the things :'D that I choose to participate in voluntarily and that I like to do because that makes sense I guess#but I'm happy that I at least got two pics done to give you guys something for being so amazing always#and I've got ideas for the rest too#now just to find the time and mental space to do them skfds#I ramble what else is new
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Its ok maybe if you look up the lyrics to was für ein grausames leben and read them in english you will be okj<3
#[gnawing and biting]#ashjdjgjg i think i don't want to live in vienna after all#i'm by nature an easily depressed person and in some places it's too easy to make your life revolve around dead people and death at large!!#i had a lot of fun on my trip but i also had some terrible times#mostly the part where i was sick#one thing that i think would pose a major issue long term is the insanely narrow opening hours for supermarkets - in germany many stay#open until 10 pm. closest one to my hotel in vienna closed at 7:30 pm...#also i just can't deal with big crowds and tourists in my living environment full time dhhfhfgh i always need to be somewhere away and#voluntarily go into the tourist parts only if i want to#like how in cambridge it was insane in the center but i would walk 30 minutes every morning from by the train tracks :') a nice quiet#residential street and i could shop at the local sainsbury's and only go to the historic city centre when i felt like it and could prepare#so like i have to live in a quiet area but within reasonable distance of (and with good transport to!) a more exciting busy area#but um yeah now i have to awkwardly tell everyone irl that i've been talking about it to that i don't actually want to do it anymore xD#it's ok i still want to live Somewhere Interesting with historical stuff...#if i manage not to have a mental breakdown that is ahshhdjdkf#i like my current town a lot :')
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Ok not to be a freak but .... why does sekiro not automatically volunteer to be the "cradle" in the "return" ending. Like.....the only stated qualifications are 1) must be immortal (which sekiro is already) and 2) must eat the snake livers (which sekiro already has on his person).
Like, just given everything we know about sekiro and his commitment to being like..... the only person who bears all the sacrifices for kuro bc that's the only way he knows how to inhabit his devotion ....he really ought to have been like "I'll do it" when the divine child brings up this possibility, to which the divine child could have been "no, you can't because xyz nonsense reasons"
Just seems so weird that he wouldn't offer???
#sekiro#I'm not a freak i just think its so OOC that sekiro would voluntarily involve another person in this whole immortality drama#when it has been his very well established pattern to#a) keep every fucking secret to himself and b) distrust fucking EVERYONE when it comes to his master's wellbeing#like this bitch was .02 seconds away from killing EMMA bc she happened to standing between him and kuro that one time#emma who has been nothing but courteous and professional!!!! who is clearly just here to do a job!!#like i just can't understand how sekiro would believe that anyone else could keep kuro safer than he could??#(I just think if he was given the option to carry kuro literally inside his body he would jump at it and finally find peace)
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the rhetoric around ai in general is really starting to get kinda... worrying.
like you wanna protect artists - awesome! great! so ai is evil and can never be used for art or anything else-
no! ai isn't the evil thing here!! it's how it's being used!! like, gps can be used to track people or to pilot war planes, does that mean it's inherently evil??
ai is a tool that can be used ethically or not - call out when it's being unethical, but don't mistake the tool for the problem
#even with ai art the main issue is stealing art#if you have a dataset full of stuff that was given voluntarily with full knowledge of what ir would be used for - what's the problem there?#i suppose on a broader scale you could worry about ai art taking over?#but honestly i don't see that happening as i don't think it could ever be feasible#unless we could get a computer to think like a human#which like we can't do that#but still that's more a problem with capitalism not valuing art#and choosing cheaply made art over trained artists#really in the case of 'ethical' ai art it becomes more a question about the nature of art#and who truly created it#like if you coded everything yourself and fed it art that you yourself created#is the art it produced created by you? how is that different from making it with your hands?#<not rhetorical genuine quesion what are the differences and what do they mean for art as a whole#ANYWAY off topic. ai can be scary when used for bad things but it isn't inherently bad
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get me out this house man
#my sister is practicing her stupid fucking trombone#and apparently she can't do that without fucking losing her complete fucking shit and throwing a tantrum#bc she can't play notes or whatever#like. she is fucking screaming sobbing swearing at the dogs swearing at herself because she can't quite hit a note first or second try#and she does this all the fucking time!!!! she does this just about every week night and i can't take her throwing a bitch fit every night!!#and i refuse to feel bad for her in any way bc she is doing all this shit to herself ive seen her have a breakdown because she#VOLUNTARILY CHOSE to be in different bands and orchestras and chamber groups and then loses her shit bc she can't#be good at all the music she has to practice at once. and then every time after she finishes crying she chooses to keep doing this#and then i suffer for it!!! i have to share a house with them!!!!#every other night the upstairs living room is just off limits bc they'll scream at you#like. god. shut the fuck up!!!!!! please!!!!! shut the fucking fucking fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!
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"The drama stems entirely from one man suffering, and it's a man we care about enormously, and it's a man who has no control over his circumstances. There is nothing he can do to affect a change. He is completely dependent on either his absent husband or his interrogators. But he himself can do nothing. And that is deeply frustrating for him."
Scott Handcock on Colin in Colin Alone
#colin colchester-price#torchwood: among us#torchwood#the suffering i felt in this episode god#and this sums it up so so well!!!!#there's just a little bit missing maybe: there's not just the fact that he can't help his situation#but also that everyone else THINKS he should be able to help himself but is voluntarily choosing not to do anything#and he's constantly doubting his own perceptions too#Una McCormack (writer of the ep) says that well in her segment#and idk it all just reminded me of mental health struggles#'why aren't you doing better'#i know that wasn't the intention - i'm not saying it was - but that's how it rang especially hard for me#(apart from absolute sympathy for Colin of course MY POOR DARLING)
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Terrible news! I thought I had a year to work on my thesis but actually the first full draft needs to be done within 6 months. Oh no! :D
#how dare they make me do the thing I voluntarily signed up for#and like obviously part of the time frame would be taken by editing/prepping for the defense#but a part of me heard that it would cover two semesters and went “wow can't believe I have a whole year to fuck around with this!”#Two semesters doesn't even cover all 12 months in the year what was I on about#Fortunately it's not like I've also gotta write multiple personal statements for grad school applications and scholarships#while also doing a full coarse load and tutoring#that would be... that would just be.... to agree to do all that you'd have to be... only and idiot would...#thesis
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🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow
wtf i'm literally shaking and crying right now i just saw silver bullets for sale on temu why the fuck are there silver bullets on temu
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
Hey. Hey. Look at me. Do you genuinely believe Temu of all places is going to have genuine sterling silver bullets for sale? TEMU. Wish and Shein's bastard child?
🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow
they had wooden stakes on there too i'm actually fearing for my and my partner's lives right now
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
Yeah I bought some wooden stakes from Temu and they broke instantly. I wasn't even using any force to put them in my lawn as it rained quite recently. I wouldn't worry too much about any silver bullets you find. They're probably just silver plated.
🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow
Can confirm- Temu silver isn't real and can't hurt us. I bought a bunch of silver jewelry off there because I can't afford anything the legitimate stores are selling and when I tried them they barely even burned. Not worth it.
🍯 bearly-hanging-on Follow
Why on earth would you, a werewolf, buy silver jewelry???
🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow
well for me it's a sex thing.
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
Why would you voluntarily wear jewelry from Temu? Did you at least sanitize it first???
🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow
Uh... I licked it first. Werewolf saliva can disinfect surfaces right?
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
YOU WHAT
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
Oh my g-d just because werewolf saliva can make your wounds heal faster doesn't mean it works miracles!!!
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
Wait how would you know that?
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
@.daddy-fenris is not the brightest sometimes.
🌕 daddy-fenris Follow
oh my god IT WAS ONE TIME why do you have to put me on blast right now
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
The world needs to know. Roadkill please go see a doctor or a vet or something.
🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow
i feel like this is taking away from the real issue at paw
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
Can't you see we're having a conversation here?
🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow
IT'S MY POST???
🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow
Not anymore it's not
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I get people like to hate on celebrities for any number of flippant reasons.
But when you start using carbon emissions as your chief complaint, not only are you demonstrating the effectiveness of corporate Kool aid, but you are deeply unserious.
#cry me the Nile about private jets#i can't believe anyone in my year of 2023 is cry-whining about CARBON EMISSIONS as a MORAL FAILING because of PRIVATE JETS#gtfo#come back when you have something relevant to regurgitate#good grief never in my life would i expect random civilians to CARE about such an obnoxious and irrelevant thing#do you voluntarily pay the airlines extra cash to 'offset carbon emissions' too???#if you whine about any celebrity's private jet you better or shut up forever#sorry but the private jet thing isn't gonna change and honestly they deserve it not to be mobbed by fans and haters#if you're wondering if this is about Taylor Swift#yes it is#😂#trying to determine from comments why tf she's any more 'problematic' than any other person#and all I'm getting are CARBON EMISSIONS#a whole set of comments and that's literally all they say#deeply unserious#can't believe those words come out of people's mouths and they expect anyone else to pay attention to any point from them ever again#commentary#delete later#a rant#tell me you don't understand anything about science or the world without telling me you don't understand#if you're whining about Swift's private jet you better crusade against every other celebrity jet out there too#also you better not fly anywhere because heaven forbid you emit carbon#go plant a tree
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We got a new manager a few months back who mentioned recently that he won't take his kids to an (outdoor, spaced out) public pool bc COVID, but is always walking around our (indoor, poorly ventilated) medical office without a mask. Before going home to his kids every night.
#i *get* not going to the pool bc one of his kids is immunocompromised and you can't exactly mask in water#like. that makes sense#it's doing that and then NOT wearing a mask in the objectively riskier/less ventilated space 35 hours a week that confuses me#like we work with high risk populations the reat of us still mask voluntarily what's up with that
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Im so tired of feeling like I gotta label myself and every single group and subgroup I fit into on here
#i'm tired of it fam#and y'all know what happens if you don't give all that info right? yep people assume you're some demon who's hiding something lol#like if you don't explicitly say 'hi yes i'm bi trans and queer' it must mean you're a cishet and also that you should die for some reason#it's so effed#i gotta ask myself like: is it any wonder so many kids voluntarily share EVERYTHING abt themselves now?? to a scary extent??#like do they feel pressured to do that? or is it still just they don't have the same perspective n fear of oversharing like millennials do?#so they're automatically just like 'pfft idc i'll share whatever i want' bc they can't fathom how dangerous it actually is??#and how permanent this stuff actually can be?#idk just spitballing now#tumblr#fandom#cliques#death threat ment cw
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got jerked out of bed because she decided for some fucking reason to try and step over the gate instead of just moving the fucking thing so im sure this will result in another emotional meltdown later about what a horrible asshole i am because i wasn’t overly happy about having to clean fucking blueberry off the fucking carpet
#i need you all to understand that what she gets upset about isn't even me like#being an asshole and popping off and saying things in anger#she literally has these meltdowns about like. facial expressions or because i let out an annoyed sigh#im literally not allowed to exist as anything but some nonexistent facsimile of myself she's invented her head that i increasingly#feel like is a literal child. like she liked me when i was like fucking 5 and had no personality or will so anything that goes against that#makes me an asshole.#its to the point where like i wouldn't say i'm completely out of touch with reality or nonfunctional but i am finding myself more and more#convinced that ACTUALLY i'm NOT a real person and nothing i do matters because none of anything else exists either#i can't even voluntarily grippy sock myself because no one will take care of the fucking dogs if i'm not here#anyway its fine i only have to deal with it until the dog dies
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This is literally mean older!rafe who refers to himself as Daddy and makes younger!reader sit on his lap because she’s a restless crybaby who needs his attention 24/7 or else her pouting and whining is going to piss him off even if he can't help but get hard whenever she cries.
“Just stay still and pretty right there, yeah?” He murmurs into her ear when she rests her head on his shoulder and wraps her smaller arms around his firm abdomen as he goes over some business contracts.
He’d harshly smack her ass whenever she’d so much as wriggle her hips on top of him, which makes her jump and let out a faint whimper every single time.
“What did I just tell you? Don’t wanna make Daddy upset with you, do you?” He scolds her when she tries to adjust her position once more because she's aching at this point.
“No! No! Sorry, I just…”
“You just what?” His question comes off as mocking.
“You’re being mean,” she frowns.
“I’m being mean? Even if I’m letting you sit in my lap and voluntarily listening to your annoying whining? You don’t see me complainig, do you? Why don’t you go to the bedroom and sit there alone then, hm?" His words are coarse; her eyes turning watery at the notion of him being mad at her.
“No, that’s not what I meant…don’t wanna be alone,” her voice is muffled against his neck as she sniffles.
"Why are you crying?" His tone is patronizing, yet the calloused fingertips smoothing through her hair tender.
"Cause I made you upset," her forlorn mumbling makes him soften some as he lets out a deep sigh at the thought of her teary eyes dampening his shirt.
"You wanna make me feel better?" He questions with an almost gentle rasp.
"Mhm," she eagerly nods against the side of his head and tightens her hold around him.
“Why don’t you shut that dumb mouth then and stop moving around so much and let Daddy focus, yeah?”
And finally she listens, not daring to shift an inch anymore, even if she can feel the obvious bulge in his pants pressing against her puffy clit and making her soak through her panties as her cunt throbs at the prospect of him rewarding her later for being good…
#got a little carried away with this...#how am i supposed to be normal about all these new pics?#my head is spinning atm#mean older!rafe#rafe cameron#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe smut#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe fic#drew starkey#outer banks fanfiction
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