#and i can't do that voluntarily
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Saw the director of Addicted Heroin Thailand had posted this on his Facebook account:
This man looked at the show that was the tipping point of the first big anti-gay censorship wave in China in the 2010s, and decided to remake it and intentionally self-censor, just to see if he could attract the "Chinese BL is superior because it doesn't rely on kisses or NC scenes to show the emotions" audience to Thai BL?
I am so mad about this.
#addicted heroin th#addicted heroin thailand#addicted heroin the series#bl meta#fandom meta#honestly i don't care if this is justifcation after the fact or if it was what he set out to do#either way this rhetoric horrifies me#What a deep misunderstanding of the importance of the series we have had from China during this period#for pushing against censorship rather than voluntarily enforcing it where it doesn't exist#also what disrespect to the source material and the original series#to imply that the physical affection between the characters cheapens their romance or their acting in some way#and honestly i can't get over how utterly his plan has backfired#because the censorship itself has been the biggest barrier to me enjoying or recommending this show#typed so that i can stop thinking it
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Purpose and Technique
There are two distinct things which are both often referred to as 'style', in creative contexts like writing / art / music-composition / etc.
The first—let's call it style-of-purpose—is style in the sense of patterns in one's choices of creative objectives. What sorts of concepts or themes or emotions or aesthetics or suchlike one is looking to convey to one's audience.
The second—let's call it style-of-technique—is style in the sense of patterns in one's choices of techniques to use in pursuit of those objectives. How one fills in all the implementation-details which, while necessary to fill in to fulfill one's objectives, aren't objectives on any deeper level than that. Prose-style, in a story being told for the sake of conveying a certain plot; character-design, in an art-piece being created for the sake of conveying a certain sort of brushwork; described events, in a set of song-lyrics written for the sake of conveying a a certain sort of feeling; et cetera.
Style-of-purpose is pretty much inevitable for anyone engaging in deliberate production or presentation of creative work for an audience. There's no practical way to avoid it, and not much reason to want to. Style-of-purpose is a habit, but not a constraint: it doesn't prevent you from doing what you want to do, but rather emerges naturally from doing what you want to do.
Style-of-technique, on the other hand, can very easily turn into a constraint. A technique effective in pursuit of one work's objectives can easily be counterproductive in another work. Someone who leans heavily on Hardboiled Detective Narration might have some trouble conveying their desired tone when trying to write a (prototypical, non-subversive) cute-girls-doing-cute-things story about water-skiing, for example.
As such, it's important, when doing creative work in any field where one intends to create new material, as opposed to just variations on the same themes over and over again, to have range. To practice a varied and ideally ever-growing array of different techniques one can use in any given part of one's work, so that no matter what one's creative objectives are one can pursue them effectively. Developing a strong distinctive style-of-technique across one's works, then, is a trap: an artist with that sort of style is one who isn't getting enough practice doing anything else, and who accordingly will have trouble doing anything else when they want to.
It's very easy to fall into a feedback-loop of finding a single effective technique in a given domain—a method of narration one is good at, or of lineart-drawing, or suchlike—and then, since that's the technique with which one produces one's best work, to use it and neglect other techniques. The longer one does this for, the larger the gap in quality between one's output with that technique and others grows, and the more tempting it becomes to keep on using that technique more and others less. And thus the less able one becomes to create works up to one's quality standards with any other techniques, even when those other techniques would, if performed with the benefit of practice, lead to more effective realization of one's artistic aims.
People talk a lot about trying to find their styles, when doing creative work. This is fine, when it comes to style-of-purpose. But, for style-of-technique, I recommend against trying to develop it for oneself, and in fact recommend actively avoiding developing it; it's far too easy to become trapped in a niche narrower than one can comfortably fit in.
#Archive#Categorization#Writing#there's an explore/exploit tradeoff here in that any given person has limited time to practice and so can't become top-tier at everything#so someone looking to make top-tier work in one field might need to voluntarily walk into the style-of-technique trap eventually#but at the very least they should do so in full awareness of exactly what limits they're drawing around themselves#and make sure those limits are better for them than whatever alternatives might be available#...possibly i should have a category tag for creative-work-in-broad-generality?
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[muttering under my breath] shitty first drafts shitty first drafts shitty first drafts it's okay it's okay you've got to get through the shitty first draft
#bird by bird#sentences border on senseless#guys i can't believe i'm voluntarily writing something#i literally have not done creative writing since i was a child#besides the few times i was required to do it in high school
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"I miss you"
"I miss both of you"
+ Timelapse
#kaiju no. 8#kn8 fanart#faldrawskn8#shinomiya kikoru#Morning doodle went too far emotionally#Tag spam incoming -------------->#thanks ep12 for reminding its been 10 years since no.6 attack...#how do i recover from this#how do I supposed to recover from this#kaiju took her mother's life and her father's smile#Kikorun it's okay Isao is proud of you he just can't express#he just carried way too much a burden of the nation#Shinomiya family#They keep paying the price to remind the country how much they're lacking in front of a looming threat before them#They voluntarily paid the price more than anyone asked them to pay upfront#and that because they love each other and all people involved#falramblingsohecanlives#(idk man whenever I tried to form a post my head goes empty)#(then I get to tags section and these thoughts just keep coming out)#(sorry not sorry)#kikoru shinomiya
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normal. normal and sane behaviour.
#can't believe i just did math Voluntarily.#iasip#its always sunny in philadelphia#lore dec#i wrote this all out on paper btw#sometimes i look at some of the things i do and go ohh yeah i have adhd
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You move out of your family home and suddenly you do not get any of the gossip anymore GOD
#my dad low key has a....... girlfriend? Affair? Idk dude#to be clear he and mom are still married and living in the same household#and to be ENTIRELY clear that marriage has exclusively been on paper for the past 10+ years and they both know it#mom's been wanting to divorce him for years but is worried about finances and he's always been resistant to the idea#preferring to. idk just stay living together for eternity because it's easier even though they can barely talk to each other#and i cannot stress enough how little time they voluntarily spend together anymore#so the cheating (? idk how far along this thing actually is) isn't a problem per se#the problem is more that he's been so very resistant to the idea of divorce for years while not actually doing anything to change#only to now basically telling mom she's in the way now that he has someone else#mom's not mad he found someone else she would love to get rid of him like this she's just mad they lost so many years#I just#man the DRAMA#I'd hate to still live there while this is going on because apparently now they just really can't fucking talk to each other anymore#but since i AM no longer living there i can just sort of Observe and it's. Very fucking interesting lol
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soooo when I signed up for Codywan First Kiss Bingo I really thought I'd be able to do at least five pics to get one bingo skfsjl but alas, November passed mostly in anxiety and depression, December has just been crazy busy until the last few days, so I've only managed to do two pieces, which I'm still happy about ofc, but still, I wish I had been able to do more :'D there's still December left so we'll see if I get more done after Christmas, but for now I have two pics I'll post one tomorrow and the other one on Christmas day to give you guys something nice from me for Christmas <3 because you guys deserve all the nice things
#text post#this is why I rarely participate in anything#because I can't trust myself to be able to do it in the end#and oftentimes the pressure to do the things I've essentially promised to do builds up in my head and just gives me more stress and anxiety#and prevent me from doing the things :'D that I choose to participate in voluntarily and that I like to do because that makes sense I guess#but I'm happy that I at least got two pics done to give you guys something for being so amazing always#and I've got ideas for the rest too#now just to find the time and mental space to do them skfds#I ramble what else is new
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one issue solved. got some better clothes 👍 still hungry though
#🥧.dean#also I've got no idea how the partner system is gonna react to the fact that I'm me#I really can't imagine them actually being mad so I'm probably worried for nothing#I think for some reason we're just used to people being mad at us for everything we do#voluntarily or not#but I don't think our partner is the type to hold this kinda shit against people#especially considering tonight was a bit of a crisis situation
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My least favorite thing from abstaining from weed is that my only way to handle the insomnia is by using either sleeping pills or melatonin but after a while it also starts making me feel slugging and exhausted so I need to wean myself of weed first and then wean myself of sleeping aids, shit really sucks fr
#whyyyy can't anything in life ever be easy???#anyway i have an appointment tomorrow morning so i really need to sleep tonight#but tomorrow night i might just suck it up and deal with a sleepless night and see if it helps me to start sleeping normally again#i'm a bit hesitant to do that because the last night i half voluntarily pulled an al nighter was right before that insane ass panic attack#but then again there were many many factors that led to it so i don't think it was the cause per say#anyway we'll see i guess
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i actually said the sentence "maybe that's something i should talk to the therapist about" today. what evil curse has possessed me
#when have i ever wanted anything to do with a therapist voluntarily?#i just need someone neutral for advice in these Situations#i know there's a lot i really can't talk to them about but for the things i can i want help for once#ellie.txt
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get me out this house man
#my sister is practicing her stupid fucking trombone#and apparently she can't do that without fucking losing her complete fucking shit and throwing a tantrum#bc she can't play notes or whatever#like. she is fucking screaming sobbing swearing at the dogs swearing at herself because she can't quite hit a note first or second try#and she does this all the fucking time!!!! she does this just about every week night and i can't take her throwing a bitch fit every night!!#and i refuse to feel bad for her in any way bc she is doing all this shit to herself ive seen her have a breakdown because she#VOLUNTARILY CHOSE to be in different bands and orchestras and chamber groups and then loses her shit bc she can't#be good at all the music she has to practice at once. and then every time after she finishes crying she chooses to keep doing this#and then i suffer for it!!! i have to share a house with them!!!!#every other night the upstairs living room is just off limits bc they'll scream at you#like. god. shut the fuck up!!!!!! please!!!!! shut the fucking fucking fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm in so much pain and I'm so tired. I'm hungry and I need to brush my teeth and I have to pee and everything hurts I feel weak and heavy like a pile of rubble I just want to sleep and then wake up feeling like a person rather than a heavy bag.
#AND I HAVE FUCKING ANTS#Live lives#chronic pain#disability#is it fucked up that i low key want to vomit just to feel something.#i literally won't like i can't do it voluntarily but i just want to feel something else so badly
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"you should take pictures. no one will notice your insecurities, they just wanna make memories" i would still rather having a gun pointing at my head rather than a camera actually
#my post#lmao and how dare you assume that i think im ugly#even when im feeling handsome that day i still DONT WANNA TAKE PICTURES#LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEE#literally no ''advice'' have ever able to convince me voluntarily taking pictures cuz they all missed the point#and the point is: i dont fucking want to#i supposed it nice to have a camera attached to your phone and take it everywhere#but it has evolved to a point where i can't fucking escape it#every family gathering#every god damn event i cant turn down#GRADUATION oml it suck so bad#and i some how a bad/ungrateful person?? for asking people not crossing my boundaries????#and even if i do take pictures with them they WILL complain about how i look 'unhappy' in it#oh sorry did ruined the picture#hating it here...
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mkay maybe our social anxiety is a big deal
#this post is okay to make for some unknown reason. but we have *many* posts sitting in drafts that we Cannot Post#they aren't all that different. they just. can't be perceived by other people#and i can't count the number of times in the past few days alone that we've scrapped messages to our partners for not being Sendable#and ofc there's the paralyzing fear around discord servers#and that's just online!!#masks were a fucking godsend bc i didn't have to worry about people seeing what my face does#we were turned away from the walk-in when we were 17 for being an 'immature minor' or smth bc we were alone and couldn't stop stuttering#it's easy to forget how bad it is. how bad it's gotten. because it can be overridden!!! if we become frustrated#it goes away. if other people aren't doing something 'right' we can speak up and do it. but that's something we CAN'T do voluntarily#plus we. ''barely'' experienced it in school. which made it seem inconsequential?#but uh. yeah idk. i think this is severely impacting our mental health. we have 3 friends all of whom we are dating#2 of em are ldr. and we are still scared of em#our girlfriend is exempt from it entirely. she's the only person we ever feel '''safe''' (bc the regular anxiety never leaves. ever.) around#it's probably attributable to ~six years together. how am i gonna be scared of someone who in many ways knows me better than i know myself?#and vice versa#anyway. yeah#i think a point towards this is that essentially the entire post is in the tags?#bc tags feel quiter. less severe. idk#i do think anxiety. just in general. has probably already taken years away from me. or will. it's so destructive
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Terrible news! I thought I had a year to work on my thesis but actually the first full draft needs to be done within 6 months. Oh no! :D
#how dare they make me do the thing I voluntarily signed up for#and like obviously part of the time frame would be taken by editing/prepping for the defense#but a part of me heard that it would cover two semesters and went “wow can't believe I have a whole year to fuck around with this!”#Two semesters doesn't even cover all 12 months in the year what was I on about#Fortunately it's not like I've also gotta write multiple personal statements for grad school applications and scholarships#while also doing a full coarse load and tutoring#that would be... that would just be.... to agree to do all that you'd have to be... only and idiot would...#thesis
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🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow
wtf i'm literally shaking and crying right now i just saw silver bullets for sale on temu why the fuck are there silver bullets on temu
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
Hey. Hey. Look at me. Do you genuinely believe Temu of all places is going to have genuine sterling silver bullets for sale? TEMU. Wish and Shein's bastard child?
🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow
they had wooden stakes on there too i'm actually fearing for my and my partner's lives right now
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
Yeah I bought some wooden stakes from Temu and they broke instantly. I wasn't even using any force to put them in my lawn as it rained quite recently. I wouldn't worry too much about any silver bullets you find. They're probably just silver plated.
🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow
Can confirm- Temu silver isn't real and can't hurt us. I bought a bunch of silver jewelry off there because I can't afford anything the legitimate stores are selling and when I tried them they barely even burned. Not worth it.
🍯 bearly-hanging-on Follow
Why on earth would you, a werewolf, buy silver jewelry???
🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow
well for me it's a sex thing.
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
Why would you voluntarily wear jewelry from Temu? Did you at least sanitize it first???
🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow
Uh... I licked it first. Werewolf saliva can disinfect surfaces right?
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
YOU WHAT
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
Oh my g-d just because werewolf saliva can make your wounds heal faster doesn't mean it works miracles!!!
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
Wait how would you know that?
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
@.daddy-fenris is not the brightest sometimes.
🌕 daddy-fenris Follow
oh my god IT WAS ONE TIME why do you have to put me on blast right now
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
The world needs to know. Roadkill please go see a doctor or a vet or something.
🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow
i feel like this is taking away from the real issue at paw
🪢 knotexplosion Follow
Can't you see we're having a conversation here?
🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow
IT'S MY POST???
🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow
Not anymore it's not
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