#and i can feel it happening with one i was so excited to finally write
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FOR YOUR EYES ONLY ⌇편지
pairing ᝰ ni-ki x fem!reader — featuring.. jungwon | word count: 2200+
⌇ … warnings & genre ↺ highschool au!, fluff, misunderstandings, sunshine x grumpy.
synopsis — After seeing your tiny crush nishimura riki sneak something into the confession box you just had to investigate.
lee's ₊˚⊹ ᰔ comment ┊guys I swear ill make a non highschool au with riki soon... I couldn't help myself.. anyways its FEB!! can't wait to write valentines themed fics!
Finally.
It was your favorite month of the whole year.
You worked as a library assistant at your school—not because you particularly loved the job, but because it was better than joining a club.
Well… that’s what you told people.
In reality, you had a secret gig.
Tucked away in the most secluded part of the library was your confession box—a simple, unassuming container where students could slip in anonymous notes pouring out their feelings.
It started as something just for you. A place to vent when things got overwhelming. But then, he found out.
Jungwon.
You had no choice but to let him in on your little secret, and somehow, he became your best friend. Over time, word spread, and people started using the box themselves. What once held only your thoughts turned into a place where students whispered their love stories into folded pieces of paper.
Only Jungwon knew you were the one behind it.
And now, February had arrived—the holy grail of confessions. Sure, people submitted notes year-round, but around Valentine’s Day? The numbers spiked.
You weren’t going to lie. You loved it. Not just the thrill of reading them (and occasionally sharing the best ones with Jungwon, who never breathed a word), but the idea that you were helping people express what they were too afraid to say out loud.
So here you were, stationed at the front desk, pretending to browse book requests on the computer when a group of girls giggled their way to the back of the library.
Your eyes flickered toward them, amused. Definitely not because you were excited to read their confessions later. Nope. Definitely not.
Then, moments later—he walked in.
Riki.
The second you saw him, your instincts flared up. Suspicious.
Riki never stepped foot in the library. He barely did his assignments, let alone read for fun. So why was he here?
You watched, careful not to make it obvious. He glanced around, acting almost… nervous? And then, without a word, he disappeared into the back.
Seconds later, he reappeared from the other side—hands in his pockets, expression unreadable, walking out as if nothing had happened.
Your breath hitched.
No way.
Did Nishimura Riki just put a confession in your box?
Your hand scrambled for your phone. You had to tell someone.
You:
JUNGWONJUNGWONOMG
PLSPLSANSWERLOOKATURPHONE
Wonnie:
Ok what the hell
What is it?
You:
You are NEVER going to believe who just slid into the back of the library.
Wonnie:
Is it Jake again? Poor guy
Maybe Jay? Idk tell me
You:
Nishimura… Riki…
Wonnie:
… Fr?
Maybe he confessed to you?
You:
Right, totally.
Wonnie:
Think about it.
And you did think about it.
You and Riki had a… relationship. Not exactly a friendship, but not total strangers either.
You first met in detention.
It was your first time there, and you had no idea what you were supposed to do. So, naturally, you turned to the guy next to you—the one with his headphones on, slouched in his seat like he owned the place.
Curious, you tapped his shoulder.
He flinched, looking caught before turning to glare at you. “What?”
You blinked. “How did you sneak those in? Can I listen too?”
Before he could answer, you asked another question. “Wait, also—what are we supposed to do in here?”
His face twisted in disbelief. “What do we do in detention? You sit here. Now be quiet before—”
“Mr. Nishimura, sneaking electronics in again?” The teacher’s voice cut in, hand outstretched.
Riki groaned, slumping back in his seat before begrudgingly handing over his phone and headphones.
When the teacher walked away, he snapped his head back to you, eyes burning with betrayal.
You swore he glared at you for the rest of the day.
Ever since then, you tried to make it up to him—with snacks, lunch, even passing him worksheets to copy. Eventually, after weeks of bugging him, he forgave you.
Kind of.
Even now, he still acted so indifferent.
Whenever you waved at him in the hallway, he looked away. When you invited him to sit with you and your friends, he ignored you. Even when you walked beside him, talking about anything and everything—he barely responded.
At first, you assumed he was just bad with people. But then you saw him with his friends—laughing, joking, talking.
So why was he only like this with you?
Eventually, you gave up.
You distanced yourself, refusing to waste energy on someone who clearly wanted nothing to do with you.
But then, every now and then, you’d catch him staring—or see him approach you, only to hesitate and walk away.
It was confusing. Frustrating. You told yourself you didn’t care anymore.
Until the school trip.
It had been late at night when you were sent to fetch supplies from the shed—a small, isolated building at the edge of the woods.
You weren’t scared, but walking alone with only a flashlight wasn’t exactly comforting.
By the time you found everything, thunder rumbled outside. Moments later, the skies opened up.
Heavy rain. Lightning. The kind of downpour that turned dirt trails into slippery nightmares.
Running back wasn’t an option.
So, hugging your knees to your chest, you sat in the shed—silent, alone, trying not to cry.
Minutes passed. Then—
The door burst open.
You jumped, heart nearly stopping—until your eyes locked with his.
Riki.
He stood there, soaked from head to toe, breathless, his curls sticking to his forehead.
Did he… run here?
He didn’t speak. Just stared for a moment, like he was checking if you were okay, before stepping inside and sitting next to you.
“Jesus,” he muttered. “You’re helpless, you know that?”
You blinked, then let out a soft, teary laugh. He was trying to act tough. But he was clearly worried.
Neither of you spoke after that. You just sat there, listening to the storm. Well, you spoke—rambling like you used to, and for once, he didn’t seem to mind.
By the time the rain cleared, something between you had shifted.
And now, months later, here you were—staring at an empty confession box, knowing Riki put something inside, yet not finding his name anywhere.
Jungwon’s voice pulled you back.
“I knew I’d find you here.” He smirked. “Anything good?”
You forced a laugh, trying to mask your disappointment. “Yeah, some interesting ones. Oh—Minji completely dropped her last crush and moved on to a new one. Isn’t that crazy?”
Jungwon squinted at you. “You’re looking for Riki’s, aren’t you?”
You groaned, immediately dropping your head onto the table. “I’m pitiful. Don’t look at me.”
Jungwon laughed, dragging a chair out and sitting across from you. “You’re not pitiful. Just mildly down bad.”
You groaned, keeping your forehead against the table. “But I know he put something in there. I saw him! I was so ready to read it, but it’s like—poof!—nothing!”
Jungwon tapped his fingers on the table, thinking. “You sure he actually put something in the box?”
You lifted your head slightly. “Of course, I literally watched him sneak in.”
“Then…” Jungwon grinned knowingly. “What if he took something out?”
That made you pause. You sat up straight, eyes wide. “Wait… What?”
“Think about it,” Jungwon continued. “If he put in a confession and realized he wasn’t ready, maybe he took it back.”
Your mind raced. That… actually made sense. But why would Riki take it back? And more importantly—who was he confessing to?
The thought made your stomach twist, and you weren’t sure why.
Jungwon smirked, clearly enjoying the sight of you struggling. “You could just ask him, you know.”
You scoffed. “Yeah, right. ‘Hey, Riki! Weird question, but did you happen to steal a confession from my box?’”
“Why not?” Jungwon shrugged. “Or are you scared of the answer?”
You opened your mouth, ready to deny it, but the words never came. Were you scared? The idea of Riki confessing to someone else made your chest feel tight in a way you weren’t ready to unpack.
Before you could respond, the student council room door creaked open again.
And there he was.
Riki stood in the doorway, hands shoved into his pockets, his hair a little bit above his eyes which flickered between you and Jungwon before settling on you.
Jungwon raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. “Welp. That’s my cue to leave.” He patted your shoulder before slipping past Riki, whispering a quick, “Good luck,” on his way out.
The door clicked shut. Silence.
You swallowed. “Um… Did you need a book or—”
“I didn’t take it back.”
Your breath hitched.
Riki sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “The letter. I didn’t take it back.”
Your heart was pounding now. You tried to keep your voice steady. “What do you mean?”
His gaze dropped to the floor. “I put it in there without a doubt, I think… someone else removed it. Maybe it was a sign not to confess to you.”
You.
Your throat went dry. “It was… for me?”
Riki let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Obviously.”
You blinked. “Obviously? What do you mean obviously? You ignore me ninety percent of the time!”
He huffed, looking almost embarrassed. “I don’t ignore you.”
“You literally pretend not to hear me half the time!”
“Because I don’t know what to say!” Riki finally looked at you, frustration and something else—something softer—lingering in his expression. “You drive me crazy, you know that? You talk too much, you’re way too nosy, and you never leave things alone. And somehow, I—” He stopped, exhaling sharply. “I like you, okay?”
Your brain short-circuited.
Riki rolled his eyes at your stunned silence. “This is embarrassing.”
You snapped out of your trance. “Wait, wait. Back up. You like me?”
He groaned, turning toward the door. “Forget I said anything—”
You grabbed his sleeve before he could leave.
He froze.
Slowly, you grinned. “You like me.”
Riki’s ears were turning red. “Shut up.”
You laughed, warmth bubbling in your chest. You never thought you’d get anywhere with him, and yet—here he was, out of breath looking at you so fondly, confessing in the most Riki-like way possible.
February was definitely your favorite month of them all.
BONUS 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
The moment Riki stepped into the library, he knew he was making a mistake.
This wasn’t his scene. He didn’t do books, didn’t do anything that required more effort than necessary. But here he was, standing in the one place he actively avoided, shoving his hands deeper into his hoodie pockets as his eyes flickered toward the back.
He could feel your gaze on him.
You were always watching him.
Not in a weird way—more like you were constantly trying to figure him out. Always with that curious glint in your eyes, like he was a puzzle you were determined to solve.
He hated it.
No, that wasn’t true. He hated that he liked it.
And now, as he made his way toward the confession box—the stupidest thing he’d ever been a part of—he was hoping you weren’t paying too much attention.
With one last glance around, he slipped to the back, pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket, and dropped it inside.
Then, without missing a beat, he walked out through the other side, playing it cool.
It took everything in him not to look back.
He could already picture the way your brain was short-circuiting, the way you were probably grabbing your phone to text Jungwon. You always told him everything, after all.
Riki swore under his breath as he left the library.
He wasn’t even sure why he did it.
Well.
That was a lie.
He knew why.
It was because of you.
Because you confused the hell out of him.
You were supposed to be annoying—loud, persistent, way too nosy for your own good. You were supposed to be someone he could easily brush off, like he did with everyone else.
But you weren’t.
Because no matter how many times he ignored your waves in the hallway, you still smiled at him. No matter how often he shut you out, you never stopped trying.
And then you stopped.
You finally gave up on him.
And for some reason, that made his chest feel too tight.
Ever since that night on the school trip, when he found you curled up alone in the shed, it had been harder and harder to act like he didn’t care.
That night, when he heard you were missing—it was like he could imagine you with red eyed, shoulders shaking—he couldn’t stop himself.
Didn’t even think.
He just ran.
Ran straight into the storm, through the rain, barely able to see a damn thing—but knowing exactly where he was going.
When he finally got there, when he saw you small and fragile under the dim light, something in him cracked.
He never wanted to see you like that again.
But he didn’t know how to tell you that.
He wasn’t good with words. He wasn’t good with feelings.
So he wrote it down instead.
It wasn’t a confession, not in the way you expected.
But it was something.
Something for your eyes only.
Something he thought you would have found by now.
So when he walked passed the student council room later that evening, seeing you and Jungwon hunched over the pile of notes, he knew immediately.
You hadn’t seen it.
Because if you had, you wouldn’t be looking for his name like he overheard.
And now, as both your heads snapped toward him, your eyes wide and startled—
Riki sighed, stepping forward.
…You took it, didn’t you? He thought looking straight at Jungwon.
Because if you didn’t find his letter in the box…
Then someone must have.
What was Jungwon playing at?
What happens next? Click
#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fic#fanfic#fluff fic#enhypen angst#enhypen niki#ni ki enhypen#ni ki x reader#ni ki fluff#nishimura riki#niki x reader#ni ki#enhypen jungwon#yang jungwon enhypen#jungwon enhypen#enhypen jake#jay enhypen
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Okay this prompt is one of those where I’m unsure if you can keep it within the Drabble range so no hard feelings if you decide not to take it
In an AU where Thanos doesn’t happen, Peter has been dropping off-grid from near-weekly from Tony’s perspective. Anytime he goes offline it’s always in the same spot, some building on Bleeker Street in Greenwich. Tony finally has had enough with the curiosity and worry and asks Peter about it, only to find out he’s been hanging out with Wizards?? So Tony decides to meet these Wizards only to come face-to-face with his ex-fiancé, one Stephen Strange.
I admit, I almost turned this one down, because yeah, it is far too intensive for me to write all of this and feel satisfied with it. (Also, I had a brain thing where I was like 'well, if there's no Thanos... and then I completely rewrote the MCU... that is not what you intended, I don't think.) Anyways. I decided to do the VERY last part of this, because that felt manageable and I felt like I could still do it somewhat cohesively. (PS, without Thanos, JARVIS probably doesn't die.)
“So—” Tony looked around around the space. It felt like a lobby, impersonal. ”—This is where you’ve been hanging out?”
“Yeah.” Peter grinned. “Well, not, here. I normally spend time in the kitchen or the library with the wizards.”
Right. The wizards. The reason for Tony’s investigation. He tried not to hover over Peter too much, but JARVIS had gotten nervous when Karen went off grid. Karen had promised JARVIS she was fine, but JARVIS… well, JARVIS had lost track of Tony too many times. He didn’t like losing track of Peter.
Tony had stepped in when JARVIS started fretting. Apparently Peter had met some techno-phobic wizards. Peter’s explanation of how he’d met said wizards had been distracted and unhelpful; Tony had figured he should meet them himself.
Footsteps had Tony shifting.
“Mr. Parker, I see you’ve—” the voice cut off.
Tony froze. He recognized that voice. He looked up, body stiff and unwilling, but unable to not look.
“Tony?” Stephen stood at the top of the stairs. He looked shocked, eyes wide and… Tony didn’t want to decipher any more than that.
Tony’s stomach twisted and pain lanced through his heart. “Stephen.” His voice caught. Of all the places to run into his ex-fiancé… Tony wouldn’t have guessed the wizards’ lair.
“You know Doctor Wizard?” Peter asked, voice excited; Tony could barely make sense of the words.
Stephen took a step down the stairs. “Tony?” His voice… nope, not deciphering that, either. “How are you here?”
Tony turned, gave Peter a firm pat on the shoulder. “Turns out there’s nothing to worry about. You’re in good hands.” He moved towards the door.
“Wait, Tony.” Stephen’s voice came sharp, almost anxious. Tony heard his footsteps headed down the stairs.
Tony didn’t wait. He shoved the door open.
He ran away.
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TimKon Fic Recs Part 1.
So I mentioned in a reply to @oneswordstyle that I had a ton of TimKon fic recs and I was about to spam them with a million comments in the replies, but then I figured it was probably easier to do in a post. So here it goes. It also got too long so I split it into 2 parts.
Scions by Winterlive (Explicit) 2008 - 63K words - Complete
Tim Wayne, adopted son of Gotham mogul and secret vigilante Bruce Wayne, shows every sign of being his father's true successor - by day, and by night. Tim sets his sights on a valuable Metropolis lab for merger with Wayne Biotech, and all that stands in his way is the city's own rising star: Conner Luthor.
Note: I really love when characters get to grow up. I think Tim was a really fun teen to read about, and this fic explores him as a young business man and true heir to the Wayne legacy. Kon is Luthor’s son and prodigy in this, and it makes them interesting foils.
⭐️ call me cute and feed me sugar by suzukiblu (Teen) 2024 - 80K words - Ongoing
Tim Drake had absolutely no intentions of ever becoming anyone's sugar daddy when he met Superboy. This would have worked out better for him if Superboy had ever had an actual legal identity or an actual legal guardian or just . . . literally anything whatsoever in life. Ever. At all.
Just a bank account, even.
Note: Kon is fresh outta the test tube in this one, and despite the author’s facetious use of the word “sugar daddy” this is actually really sweet. Make sure to drop a comment and let the author know we’re excited for the next chapter!
Baby, Talk Me Down (Take Me Out) by sage (Teen) 2020 - 90K words - hiatus
Tim has been working too hard lately, and everyone is starting to notice. Bruce takes it upon himself to help Tim do some self-care and ships Tim off to the Kent farm for the summer, forcing him to take a well-earned vacation. Naturally, things get out of hand.
Note: This fic is on hiatus, so make sure to stop by and leave an encouraging comment, so we can get the ending this sweet story deserves. Tim finally gets a minute to breathe and really process all that’s been happening. He also gets to experience small town life but also he’s Tim so he gets himself into trouble. I find in a lot of fics, Kon always feels out of place or like he doesn’t quite belong, but he’s very settled and has really taken the time to learn who he is in this one, which I appreciated very much.
The Classic Shenanigans of Two Idiot Boys in Love by MashpotatoeQueen (Teen) 2021 - 94K words - Complete
In which the papers get hold of the fact that Timothy Drake-Wayne is dating another boy, Kon is all chill, Tim is no chill at all, the internet is flipping out, and Dick Grayson is quite possibly the greatest big brother of all time.
Note: An attempt to explore the public side of their relationship, a story told in vignettes.
⭐️ Stars Over Gotham by madaliz (Explicit) 2025 - 170K words - ongoing
Kon is tasked by the Planet to write the defining piece on Gotham City (no pressure). As he learns more about the city's first family and its criminal underbelly, he finds himself increasingly entangled with the mob and the vigilantes he's supposed to keep away from.
or
A story about how Kon and Tim grapple with their family legacies, fall in love, and team up to foil a conspiracy to ruin Gotham's hard earned order.
Note: Adults! Self-assured Kon! A really interesting world in which the Bats and the JL are completely separate and do not mingle. They are aware of each other but maintain strict rules. When Kon goes to Gotham in his civilian identity as a reporter his and Tim’s game of cat and mouse quickly turns into a Romeo and Juliet situation and I AM OBSESSED. There’s only 3 chapters left and I love this fic so much I’m dreading saying goodbye to it. Make sure to leave a comment to let the author know!
I’m alone here, I think by unluckyloki (Teen) 2019 - 93K words - Complete
Superboy is fighting robots in San Francisco and remembers something that wasn't. There's a new priest in the Naxos temple appointed by Dream of the Endless. Kon is missing something. Tim is missing everything. One day Krypto practically drags Superboy to a remote island in Europe and there's a dark haired guy smiling at Kon like he knows him.
Maybe he does.
Note: I’m not usually a fan of fics set in the cartoon Young Justice world, but this one is really special. The prose is exquisite, and it feels like reading an epic poem. Even though it’s kind of in the blurb it took me way too long to realize it was a Sandman crossover, but honestly you don’t really have to know anything about that. I’m also not usually a fan of ‘Tim Drake has magic AUs’ but again, I can read anything if it’s executed well, and this writer executes basically everything perfectly.
I Want it That Way (1990s Tim/Kon) by WynterSky (Series) - 140K words - Complete
On a field trip, Robin has a close encounter with the newest super in Metropolis, only to discover the hard way that Superboy secretly works for Lex Luthor. They agree to work together on a plan to free Superboy from Luthor’s hold, but Robin isn’t sure how far he can trust him—and his developing feelings only make things more complicated.
Note: Series says “not complete” but the series currently has 3 fics, which are all complete. Set int he 90s, which I think is perfect for superheroes. A lot of the mythos collapses with modern day technology. Fresh outta the test tube Kon is sort of held hostage by Lex Luthor, and young Tim realizes this and decides to save him. The 90’s setting is what MAKES this series something truly special.
buy back the secrets by sundiscus (Teen) 2024 - 90K words - Ongoing
He takes a long, slow breath. Ignores the glares from the other students. “Superboy,” he murmurs. “It’s me. If you’re listening, I could use some help.”
Or: 5 times Superboy saves Tim Drake, and one time Tim Drake saves Superboy.
Note: 1 chapter left! Don’t forget to leave a comment so we can let the author know how much we’re anticipating the last chapter. This is another love-square AU, I can’t help myself. In this one, they’re both skewed a bit younger, but they deal with the more heavy side of vigilantism.
Trust fall by Ididloveyou_once (Mature) 2021 - 22K words - Complete
‘Drake?’
Tim felt like he was choking. His throat was tight. He couldn’t swallow.
‘Damian?’ He managed.
Damian was… here. At Kent Farm. Dressed in the too-big Batman pajamas that Dick had bought him last Christmas as a joke. And- And-
Tim was wearing Kon’s t-shirt and his hair was messy and his lips were swollen and- He wasn’t ready for this- He wasn’t- He couldn’t-
How had he been so stupid?
Or: Tim comes out to Damian and prepares for the entire family to know by morning. It just so happens that Damian can keep a secret. Multiple, actually.
Note: Not usually a fan of Damian/Jon but I think this fic handles it well and is more of a puppy-crush than anything. This is a coming-out fic that deals in all those tropes, and I think handles it really well. Again, I’m not usually into the more fanon interpretation of Tim as a timid, neglected, anxiety-ridden wet cat, but this fic explores some insecurities without, I feel, straying too far from his actual characterization.
⭐️ First Kontact by Chiyana
Two years after a disastrous first encounter with an alien entity called Necros, Captain Tim Drake is given his first mission back in the field. The simple six-month exploration mission babysitting a group of LexCorp researchers goes abruptly downhill upon the discovery of a missing colony ship, landing Tim directly back into the horror that took him out of the field in the first place and leading him to his second first encounter with an alien race. Usually he's all for over-achieving, but even he finds this to be a bit excessive.
At least this time one of the aliens is more interested in him alive than dead.
Note: This may be my favorite fic I’ve ever read, like ever. This is a sci-fi au, where Tim is a captain, and the Kryptonians are space refugees after the destruction of their planet. The WORLD BUILDING is exquisite. I absolutely love Bart in this world. Also, despite the new world building, the explanation for Kon’s ostracism from the House of El is fantastic. This is one of those stories that has dug into my brain. Although, please mind the tags, it can be intense.
What happens in Vegas by Ididloveyou_once (Mature) 2022 - 92K words - Complete
57 missed calls.
Bart_ahhh tagged you and one other in a post
The Gazette (4 hours ago)
Bruce Wayne’s youngest eligible bachelor is off the market: Timothy Drake-Wayne eloped in Vegas [EXCLUSIVE pictures]
63 unread messag-
Tim jolted upright. His eyes scanned over the headline again. Timothy Drake-Wayne eloped… Timothy Drake-Wayne what?
And with who?
Or: Tim and Conner accidentally get married in Vegas and decide to stay that way until they can get quietly divorced. It’s simple. Except the Bats are detectives and the press is relentless and oh, Tim is hopelessly in love with his best frie- husband?
Note: classic accidentally married first, then fall in love. Obsessed with this fic, and the author has indicated it’s supposed to be a series, so I canNOT wait to see where this AU goes. Honestly Cassie is the most relatable person in this fic, because she totally believes that these two idiots would do something so ridiculous but what she can’t believe is the audacity to get spontaneously married on her birthday.
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tastes like she might be the one
pairing: Astarion x f!Dark Urge · word count: 5.3k
rating: E for shameless smut (MDNI)
tags: blood drinking, period sex, oral sex, face-sitting, vaginal fingering, masturbation, Astarion being a little feral, porn with (some) plot, idiots in love, post-canon, general Durge spoilers
“Well, all of that’s to say that if you would like to… indulge, this might be your one and only chance to do so.” “Oh. I see.” Astarion’s eyes light up at the idea and Eve’s breath hitches when he takes a couple steps closer, his face just inches away when he says: “Then I suppose we better make it count.”
a/n: I did it, I succumbed to the Urge and wrote a period kink oneshot. hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
tagging some of my lovely moots who were hyping me up as I shared snippets from this fic: @khywren @nerdallwritey @xxnashiraxx @obsessedwhyyes @verbenaa @bby-bel-art @hellethil @arzen9 (thank you so much for getting excited about this with me. tbh it would have still been sitting in my wip doc if it weren’t for you all ❤️)
the title is from "LUNCH" by Billie Eilish
read on ao3 · dividers
As Eve is leaving the market, she feels her lower abdomen clench painfully in a manner she doesn’t recognize. She winces, tightening her grip on the grocery bags and tries to figure out what mundane malady it could be this time as she hurries back to the apartment.
Soon, she reaches the familiar facade, but as she goes for the handle, the door swings open. Eve startles when she sees Astarion, wide-eyed and visibly tense.
“What are you doing?” she yelps when he pulls her inside, standing just inches away from the pool of sunlight spilling onto the hardwood floors. “Get away from the door!”
She kicks it shut behind her, the room safely dim again. But Astarion seems to pay no mind to the obvious danger, as he grabs the bags from her and puts them on the ground, before turning her around and assessing her body as if looking for something.
“What happened? Where is it? Show me.”
“Where is what? Are you okay?”
“The wound!” he shrieks, voice high-pitched from nerves. “Hells, I can smell your blood, I could smell it from blocks away. Did someone attack you? Who do I have to kill?”
Eve freezes as the pieces connect in her mind. The pain. The scent of blood that was imperceptible to her but obvious as alarm bells to Astarion’s senses.
Eve laughs at the absurdity of it, Astarion’s eyes widening even further as he tries to fathom what in the Hells she’s on about. Bhaal hand-sculpted her for one purpose and one purpose only, designed her to carry out his gory vision most efficiently, and yet he still made her bleed like this…?
“Oh, that petty son of a bitch!” Eve says to no one in particular. After a deep breath, she reaches for Astarion’s hands and explains in a calmer tone: “I’m not hurt, Star. I think I just got my period. It’s as novel to me as it is to you, honestly.”
She watches as Astarion’s expression cycles through a series of emotions, so clear and unfiltered. First confusion, then relief, and finally a peculiar mix of glee and dread.
“Oh. Oh. ALRIGHT.” He takes a step back, frantically looking up and down her body. When his mouth opens again, words spill out in a chaotic monologue punctuated by nervous giggles. “Fear not, I am so prepared for this. Well, truth be told, my only knowledge about half-elves and menstruation comes from Shadowheart and I don’t know how reliable that is, she tends to be a tad dramatic, don’t you think? But let’s think hmmm… A bath! Would you like me to draw you a bath? Wait, no, you must be hungry, let’s make you some food first.”
He reaches for the grocery bags and darts upstairs.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Eve asks warily as she follows him up to the kitchenette.
“Oh yes darling, I am doing quite SPLENDID myself, I am just concerned about your comfort!!”
Rather unceremoniously, Astarion turns the grocery bags upside down, produce tumbling in all directions across the counter. He grabs a small knife and begins to peel some potatoes whilst aggressively humming Down by the River.
As Eve watches his frantic movements, her stomach drops in realization.
“Star…” she starts, walking up to him.
“YES, my dearest?”
“Is the blood… distracting?”
Astarion’s nervous, high-pitched giggle is enough of a confirmation.
“OH YES! Incredibly so! But do not worry about me, the concern right now should be YOUR COMFORT.”
“Oh gods,” Eve sighs, massaging her temples. “Is this what the next tenday is going to look like?”
“TENDAY?” Astarion stabs the counter, the tip of the knife wedged into the wooden surface. There is sheer panic in his eyes when he turns around and asks: “You bleed for a tenday?”
“I don’t know, this is a first! But as far as I know, people can bleed for anywhere from three to ten days?”
“THAT’S FINE. We will get through this together!” He yanks the knife out and resumes his task.
Eve stands there for a moment, watching him, unsure of what to do with herself.
“Are you hungry, is that the problem? Would feeding on me help?”
For a moment, Astarion freezes. He turns around, knife in hand, his gaze slipping down Eve’s body for a split second.
“What exactly are you offering?” he asks when he meets her eyes again, and Eve can feel her cheeks grow hotter in an instant.
“GODS, ASTARION.”
“I’M JUST SAYING–”
“YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING–”
“IT COULD HELP WITH YOUR CRAMPS–”
“OKAY, I’M GOING TO TAKE A BATH NOW, BYE.”
“SOUNDS GOOD, I’LL KEEP PEELING–”
“YOU’VE ALREADY PEELED A DOZEN POTATOES, THAT’S TOO MANY POTATOES FOR ONE PERSON.”
“I’M STILL LEARNING, GIVE ME A BREAK.”
“OKAY I’M LEAVING NOW, I LOVE YOU.”
“I LOVE YOU TOO.”
Eve storms off to the bathroom. As she starts pouring water into the tub, she tries to push away the mental image of Astarion’s head between her thighs.
She adds some lavender oil into the water and gets inside, the hot temperature helping soothe her cramps. She leans her head against the edge of the tub, trying to make sense of all this.
Perhaps the reason she doesn’t remember this happening before is because her body put this particular function on hold while she was fighting for her life every day, sleeping on the ground, and eating irregularly. But now in the six months since the Netherbrain fell, she has been able to finally feel safe, giving her organism a chance to settle back into its natural rhythm.
It still doesn’t explain why Bhaal didn’t just skip this part in the design process, but Eve does not even want to begin to understand his sick and twisted ways, so she pushes those thoughts away and tries to relax.
After fifteen minutes or so, there is a light knock on the door.
“Yes?”
The door creaks and Eve opens her eyes to see Astarion with a mug in his hand, looking a tad embarrassed.
“Hello,” he says as he continues to stand awkwardly in the doorway.
“You can come in, I won’t bite.”
He walks up and places the steaming mug on a stool by the tub. Eve can smell the mix of chamomile, ginger, and something else she doesn’t recognize. Astarion kneels beside her, arms propped on the edge of the tub.
“I brewed you some herbs that should help ease the pain. And there’s stew cooking, it will be done in an hour or so.”
“Thank you.” She reaches for his hand and places a kiss on his knuckles, eliciting a soft smile.
“I’m sorry about earlier. It was a lot to process all at once. I thought you might be bleeding out on the street somewhere and I couldn’t do anything about it, I was just stuck inside waiting for you to come back. And then you waltz in here as if nothing happened and once I knew you were safe, the smell of your blood was–” He trails off with an absentminded smile. “Well, let’s just say I’ve gotten somewhat accustomed to it now, but it is still quite distracting.”
“I’m sorry you were so worried, that must have been terrifying.”
“It was. But I also should have known that if anyone was foolish enough to attack you, you could handle it just fine. Anyways, you should drink your tea,” he says, passing her the mug. She takes a sip, the herbal mix blossoming on her tongue, and hands it back to him. “Are you enjoying the bath?”
“Yes, the hot water is helping a lot. But, I’m afraid there is something wrong with our tub.”
“Which is?” he asks, raising his eyebrow.
“It’s missing an elf.”
“Ah, an easy fix,” he says with a smile.
Eve takes another sip of her tea as Astarion slips out of his clothes. She shuffles forward to make space for him, and he slowly lowers himself into the tub behind her, gasping as he touches the hot water. She leans back against his chest, nestling into his open arms.
After a moment of silence, Astarion asks:
“So, we don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to… But, um… Doesn’t this seem like a design flaw?”
“No, we do have to talk about him, because what in the actual fuck was he thinking? As if my whole life wasn’t bloody enough. And I can’t even justify it in any pragmatic way, because it’s not like I needed to bear more Bhaalspawn. I was supposed to be the last one!”
“Daddy’s special girl.”
“Do not ever say that again.” She elbows him and Astarion laughs behind her.
After her bath and dinner, Eve decides to head downstairs and visit Derryth while the apothecary is still open. She explains the situation and asks for some menstrual cloths and anything that could help ease her cramps. The woman watches her intently as she listens, brows furrowed.
“Okay, so personally this is none of my business of course,” Derryth says, raising her hands defensively. “But as an apothecary, I feel obligated to ask: are you aware that you do not need to bleed every month? There are ways you can stop it.”
“There are?”
“Yes. Well, but first: are you and Astarion trying to conceive?”
Eve just stares blankly ahead as her life flashes before her eyes. It’s not something she ever thought to consider, she just assumed… Well, he is undead, after all.
“Umm… is that even… possible?” she asks weakly. “Given our… situation?”
“Under regular circumstances, no,” Derryth rushes to answer and Eve sighs with barely concealed relief, “but I’ve heard of some rituals… I don’t know, Eve, stranger things have happened. But no, unless you go out of your way to achieve it, you’re safe.”
“Okay. Then no, we are absolutely not trying to conceive. Gods, could you imagine–”
“I’d rather not,” Derryth says curtly. “Now, if that’s the case, then there is absolutely no need for you to suffer every moon. There are different ways you can go about it, the one that seems most popular with my clients is this tonic,” she says as she pulls out a couple of bottles from the drawer behind her and places them on the counter. “It’s fairly easy to use, it comes in these little bottles and you drink one the first night of each tenday. And there you go, problem solved.”
“That sounds… awfully easy,” Eve says as she eyes the medicine before her.
“Well, yes, because it is.”
“Does it have any side effects?”
“Of course it doesn’t. It’s supposed to make your life easier, not harder,” Derryth says with the patience of a parent explaining the most obvious concept to their child.
Eve gets a month’s supply to try out, along with some pain medicine to help carry her over before the tonic starts to work. When she gets back to the apartment, she shows Astarion the bottles and explains how it all works.
“That’s probably for the best,” he says. “I’m glad you won’t have to go through this pain again.”
“Yes, me too, but…” Eve hesitates for a moment, but the memory of Astarion’s frantic energy from this morning is enough to give her the confidence to suggest: “Well, all of that’s to say that if you would like to… indulge, this might be your one and only chance to do so.”
“Oh. I see.” Astarion’s eyes light up at the idea and Eve’s breath hitches when he takes a couple steps closer, his face just inches away when he says: “Then I suppose we better make it count.”
There is a moment of tense silence as they regard each other, Eve’s chest rising and falling heavily at his proximity.
But then the final thread of self-control snaps and Astarion pulls her closer, capturing her mouth in a greedy kiss, swallowing up the gasp that slips past Eve’s lips as she opens up to him. Suddenly, the air around her is all citrus and spice, Astarion’s scent and taste mixing into an intoxicating combination. It could easily sweep her off her feet were it not for his hands digging into her hips, anchoring her against him.
With a firm tug to her lower lip, Astarion breaks away, an undeniable urgency to his movements as his mouth slips down to her neck and he inhales sharply, head nuzzled against her. His voice is low and breathy when he says:
“Hells, you smell divine.”
With bated breath, she awaits the sharp sting of his fangs, wanting nothing more than to give him everything he craves. But instead, Astarion’s hands slip down to the back of her thighs and Eve’s body instinctively follows, like it’s a routine they’ve been rehearsing. She jumps, legs wrapping around his waist as if that’s precisely where they belonged.
Eve sinks her fingers into his soft curls, kissing him with a newfound ferocity. She barely registers the steps Astarion takes until with a loud clatter, he kicks a chair out of his way, and she realizes they’re at the dining table. He lets go of her with one hand to push his notes to the side, pieces of parchment flying to the floor as he seats her on the edge.
Astarion breaks the kiss, pinning her in place under his watchful gaze, the room silent save for the heavy pounding of Eve’s heart.
“Indulge, you say? Don’t mind if I do.”
Astarion sinks down to his knees before her, and the sight of it alone is enough to make Eve’s head spin with need, the overwhelming desire to feel his mouth against her skin, to hear the savory sounds that escape his throat every time he tastes her.
He tugs at her waistband and Eve lifts herself off the table just enough to let him pull her pants down and toss them to the side. Astarion swallows hard when she parts her legs for him and it looks like it’s taking him every ounce of self-determination to not rip off the final barrier between them and devour her right there and then.
His hands reach up to push her back, and she leans away, propped on her elbows, not daring to miss out on a single moment of this hypnotizing spectacle. A low, guttural sound rumbles out of his chest as he presses his lips to her plush thigh and starts kissing up, closer, and closer, and–
Eve winces at a sharp stab of pain that begins to radiate down her thighs and up her spine in a throbbing, dull shiver, the hard wooden surface beneath her doing nothing to soothe her discomfort.
Astarion pauses, leaning away to meet her eyes.
“Are you alright, love?”
“I, um–” she sighs, bemoaning the need to be rational at a moment like this. “I am loving this energy, I really am. But there is no way we’re doing this on a table, my back is killing me.”
“I suppose we can make do with a bed, then.”
He wastes no time as he rises to his feet and scoops her up, and in that moment Eve is convinced that she could get used to being carried like this. Astarion rushes to the bedroom to find Scratch splayed out across the mattress, raising his head curiously as they enter.
“Out,” he orders with poorly concealed desperation.
The dog whines, but darts out of the room obediently, and Astarion kicks the door shut behind him. He lowers her onto the edge of the bed and retrieves some pillows to place under her back.
“Are you comfortable?”
“Yes, I feel quite spoiled, actually. Are you comfortable?” she asks, unconvinced, watching as he once again gets to his knees on the hardwood floor.
“Oh, trust me, I am exactly where I want to be,” he says in a tone that erases any lingering trace of doubt from her mind.
Eve falls silent as Astarion’s hands begin to snake up her thighs, lithe fingers reaching the hem of her underwear, eyes meeting hers for a final confirmation that feels superfluous given their current predicament, and yet he still seeks it. Eve nods slowly, her throat too tight with anticipation to utter a sound, and she watches as Astarion hooks his fingers in and begins to slide the garment off her body with nigh religious reverence.
Once it slips down to her knees, she can finally get a better view and gods damn it, she changed into clean clothes less than an hour ago and already the fabric is ruined, a dark, rust-colored stain blooming along the gusset.
Eve shuffles her legs, helping Astarion slide the underwear completely off her. She expects him to toss it on the floor, but instead she watches, transfixed, as he folds it meticulously before slipping it into his pant pocket.
“Excuse you–”
But her objection dies in her throat at the sight of Astarion parting her thighs with unmatched focus. For a moment he just kneels there completely still, pupils blown wide, watching her like a predator poised to strike. It would be unnerving if it wasn’t him.
He hooks his arms under her thighs and pulls her closer, resting her legs on his shoulders.
Under his scrutinous gaze she becomes utterly aware of the wetness between her thighs, blood and arousal mixing into one. Suddenly, her mind drifts away from her kneeling lover to the softness of the silk bed sheets beneath her, the sheets that they got as a housewarming gift from Shadowheart, the ones that Astarion was so excited about, and however weakly, she whispers:
“Wait– We’re going to ruin the sheets–”
Her words seem to snap Astarion out of his trance and he looks up from the sanguine scene before him to meet her gaze.
“I can live with that.”
And as if to prove his point, he lunges forward, their moans mixing in unison the moment his tongue drags a firm line along her center. His grip on her tightens, surely enough to bruise, but Eve is way past the point of caring. Damn the bruises, damn the sheets, all that matters right now is the inferno raging within her, the ungodly sounds erupting from the depth of Astarion’s chest as he feasts on her like a man starved.
Eve’s elbows give in beneath her and she falls back on the pillows, losing sight of his efforts. Instead she reaches for him, nails scraping against his scalp, legs crossed behind his head and urging him closer. Astarion’s nose presses deliciously against her clit as his tongue enters her time and time again, his groans vibrating through her core.
One of his hands wanders to the hem of her shirt, lifting it up past the soft curve of her stomach. He leans away ever so lightly, lips brushing against her as he pleads:
“I need to see all of you.”
Eve complies, the tempo of Astarion’s tongue hastening the moment the linen slips past her the stiff peaks of her nipples. As she tosses her blouse to the side, she is struck by how completely bare she is before him, all the while Astarion looks as if he might have just come home from work, every button accounted for, every thread in place. A perfect picture of composure, were it not for the state of his curls, dampened with sweat and flattened against the grip of her thighs, nor the blood smeared against every inch of his exposed skin.
His tongue leaves her, but before she can protest this newfound emptiness, his mouth shifts up, lips closing around her clit with a firm suck as a single finger teases her entrance. Astarion slips inside with no resistance, one knuckle deep, tormenting her with how it’s simultaneously overwhelming and not nearly enough.
“Please, Star–”
But before the words fully leave her lips, they blossom into a wanton moan as he sheathes his finger, and beckons her, brushing against the spot that makes her feel weightless, like she is not of this world.
She bucks her hips into him and he moans against her cunt, encouraged by her reaction, and soon enough a second finger follows. He slides in slowly, the stretch combined with the suction of his lips pushing any previous aches and discomfort from her mind, leaving naught but an all-encompassing surrender, delicious pressure rising within her.
Through the haze, she reaches down, fingers teasing the points of his ears, and she knows exactly what she is doing, knows the effect it has on him, how it coaxes the sweetest sounds from his lips she is sure she will never get enough of.
She recalls the first time she did it, over a year ago, back when neither of them knew how to define the curious companionship that has grown between them. It elicited the most unrestrained noise she ever heard from him and Astarion must have been taken aback by it, too, because he tore her hands away from him, pinning them above her head. He told her then that she was playing with fire but she couldn’t help it, couldn’t tear her eyes away from the blaze.
It consumes them both now, eliciting the most obscene sounds from her love, his fingers picking up speed as they dart in and out of her, brushing deep inside with every stroke.
She knows she won’t last long, cannot last long, not with the way he has become fluent in the language of her body, knowing exactly which strings to pull to make her sing.
And sing she does, mouth falling open with praises that get increasingly terser, until the only word she can remember is his name.
She cries it out as she grasps the sheets, the moment the pleasure becomes uncontainable, when it lights up every nerve, every inch of her skin. It’s a trust fall and he is right there to catch her, just as he always is. Just as he always will be.
Astarion’s grip doesn’t soften as she rides out this crest, his mouth and fingers relentless in drawing every last one of her moans, her eyes shut in pure bliss.
But then eventually all of her energy evaporates, her thighs growing slack around him, and Astarion retracts slowly, placing the softest kiss on her clit before getting to his feet.
Eve feels the mattress dip as he crawls towards her and she somehow wills her eyelids to open, only to witness Astarion’s bloodied fingers slip into his mouth, his eyes fluttering shut as he begins to suck. The display is enough to make her throat go dry, skin flaring up with want that never got the chance to subside.
Finally when he salvages every single drop, he lets go, eyes meeting hers as his fingers leave his mouth. Eve takes in the gory state of him: there is blood on his lips and chin of course, but also some on his nose, and is that…? Yes, somehow a bit of it found its way to his brow line. She can’t help but laugh as she tucks a flattened curl behind his ear.
“You look…”
“Happy?” Astarion offers, making a show of licking his lips in a manner that is surely against some moral law.
“I was going to say insatiable.”
“You would be correct,” he admits as he cups her cheek.
He kisses her deeply, his taste a heady mixture of them both, laced with the metallic tinge of her blood. And suddenly their bodies are flush against one another once more, hands wandering, the unmistakable evidence of his arousal pressed against her thigh. Eve’s hand slithers down between them, Astarion’s jaw going slack the moment she palms his still-clothed cock.
Her breath hitches at the feel of him in her hand, but Astarion seems to have a plan of his own because he manages to compose himself, leaning away to ask:
“Can you take more?”
“Try me,” she dares, the attempted edge of her words dulled by how breathless she is.
A wide grin blooms on Astarion’s face, the tips of his fangs glinting in the moonlight when he asks:
“How is your back?”
It takes her a second to register the meaning of his question. Truth be told, she completely forgot about it, the pain pushed out into the far corners of her mind by the overwhelming pleasure.
“It’s better.”
“Excellent. Do you think you can sit up?”
“Yes?” she says, unsure of where he is going with this.
Astarion leans away enough to pull his shirt over his head, and then rests on his back, tapping his shoulders as he says:
“Then sit.”
“What?” she asks, swallowing hard.
“You heard me.”
Slowly, Eve gets to her knees, trying to ignore the way the wetness pooled between her thighs seems to shift with the movement. But the shameless anticipation painted on Astarion’s face is enough to weed out any sprouting insecurities, and so she moves up, caging his head between her thighs and gripping the carved headboard for support.
There is a moment of stillness when she hovers over him, and then Astarion’s gaze travels from her face down to her core and he licks his lips at the sight because of course he does.
Eve rolls her eyes and says:
“You’re ridicul–”
But before she can finish the thought, Astarion grabs her waist and pulls her down, forcing an ungodly gasp out of her and suddenly all she can think about is how overwhelming the feeling of his mouth is in that position. Astarion gives her a slight, encouraging shove, and Eve starts rocking against him, chasing the friction that feeds the tempest brewing within her.
Astarion seems to be completely lost in the feeling, clawing at her thighs and moaning against her cunt in a way that vibrates deliciously up her spine. Eve wants to hear more of those sweet sounds, so she looks back, witnessing the erection straining against his pants and she reaches out to stroke him through the fabric. He groans, the movements of his tongue growing sloppier by the second, as she’s trying to unlace his pants with one hand without losing her balance.
“Need a little– Ah– Help,” she gasps when the task quickly proves beyond her current capabilities.
Astarion lets go of her thighs, nimble fingers moving to unfasten the garment in no time. He pulls his pants and underwear down just enough to free his untouched cock and Eve’s mouth waters as she catches a glimpse of how hard and flushed it is.
She leans back, propping herself with one hand as the other reaches out to spread the bead of precum over the head. As much as she can muster from that position, she starts to stroke him, encouraged by the truly obscene sounds that start erupting from his throat.
But then she feels her side cramp up, her arm giving in beneath her. Astarion’s hands dart to grasp at her waist to keep her from collapsing.
“Bad idea,” she admits as she regains her balance, clutching at the headboard.
Astarion hums a noncommittal ‘mhm’ against her center as he settles back into a rhythm. His tongue is relentless in forcing ragged gasps out of her, but Eve wants to give him more, so in a flash of lust-laced genius, she offers:
“Bite me.”
Astarion’s eyes widen, his pupils dilated to the point where she can barely see the scarlet encircling them. He turns his head to the side and Eve would mourn the loss of his touch, were it not immediately compensated by the deep guttural moan that escapes his mouth the moment his teeth sink into her thigh.
Somehow, in all this time together, they have never done this. The initial sting is much sharper than usual, but as Astarion starts to drink, blood leaving Eve’s body in greedy pulls, she feels the familiar throbbing sensation begin to radiate from the wound, her cunt pulsating with every sip he takes and oh gods–
She watches mesmerized as Astarion reaches down and starts to pump himself and the image alone is enough to push her towards the edge. Her fingers slip down to her center to gather some of her slick before gliding up, tracing circles around her clit, her movements matching the rhythmic groans that Astarion makes with every mouthful of her blood.
Eve knows that he’s close, recognizes it in the timbre of his voice, the furrowed line between his brows, the tension in his muscles as his strokes pick up pace. She swallows hard, wishing for nothing more than to watch him unravel beneath him, to witness–
It sneaks up on her this time, the electrifying shudder that tears through her body. Her mouth falls agape, knuckles white as they grip desperately at the headboard as if it’s the only thing keeping her tethered to reality. Through the bliss, she barely registers the final guttural moan coming from somewhere below, the thick, hot rivulets painting her back.
Astarion’s mouth reluctantly leaves her thigh, his tongue cleaning up any remains of blood off her skin. Eve can feel his hands come up to her waist to steady her, but for now all she can do is just sit there, breathing heavily, head spinning with blood loss and afterglow.
After a couple moments she wills her muscles to move, her legs shaky as she shuffles down Astarion’s body before collapsing on top of him. His arms drape softly around her and they lie there in silence, utterly spent.
Eventually, Astarion slips out from underneath her, and Eve would reach out to stop him if she had any energy left. Instead, she burrows her face into the pillow and listens to the soft clicks of Astarion’s heels against the floor (how did he keep his shoes on all this time?) as he rustles through some drawers.
When he returns, she feels his palm nestle in between her shoulder blades, his voice soft and steady when he utters the incantation:
“Te absolvo.”
Healing magic begins to radiate across her body, lifting the heaviness from her muscles and dissipating the fog clouding her mind. And then there is another sensation as what she assumes to be a warm wet cloth runs gently along her back before slipping between her thighs, erasing the evidence of whatever the Hells it was they just experienced.
Suddenly, Eve feels a pang of disappointment and she voices it by mumbling incomprehensibly into the pillow.
“I don’t speak Ghukliak, love,” Astarion says.
Eve groans before turning her face to the side. She meets his amused gaze, spotting the Amulet of Silvanus that adorns his bare chest.
“I said: ‘are you done already?’ You don’t want more blood?”
Astarion laughs heartily as he grabs another cloth to clean his stomach and chest.
“Oh, and I’m the insatiable one? I always want more blood, dear, but you look like you could use a break, you know.”
“Excuse you, I feel excellent.”
And as if to prove it, she props herself up and sits on the edge of the mattress. She takes a sip from the water cup he left for her on the bedside table before getting to her feet.
Astarion watches her intensely as she approaches. Usually, he’s much more relaxed after he feeds, but Eve can see that there is still some tension in his features, his nostrils flaring ever so slightly as she steps into his space.
She knows he’s holding himself back.
And that just won’t do.
Her arms drape around his neck, and she leans in, lips brushing against his ear as she whispers:
“Take as much as you want, Star. It’s a rare treat, after all.”
Eve delights in the strained gasp that leaves his lips, in the caress of his hands that trail down to her waist before pulling her flush against him.
“How awfully selfless of you,” he drawls, leaning in to kiss her.
a/n: aaaaaand with that, I have officially passed 100k words on ao3. what a glorious way to reach that milestone 😅 I would love to hear your thoughts on this one, especially since I rarely write smut so any feedback is super helpful ❤️
#can I offer you some vampire smut to stave off the sunday scaries?#astarion x durge#astarion x the dark urge#durgestarion#bg3 fanfiction#astarion fanfiction#astarion smut#my fic
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Hello! In honor of cheabroken being canon in Tongues and Teeth, I wanted to request their first kiss! Did it come naturally after being comfortable with each other for so long? Was it an awkward attempt after Stubborn interrupted them last time? Or maybe Contrarian was right and they really are worse than Smitten haha (considering how passionate they both are about their feelings, I can totally see it)
Either way, I wanted to thank you! I love how you write all the voices and the dynamics between them (even if I have very clear favorites), and I always get excited when you post a new story. I hope you have a great day and a wonderful life :)
(OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A SWEET ASK!Thank you and I hope that YOU have an amazing day and an even more amazing life!Thank you for your sweet words, I love hearing that people get excited whenever I post stuff.It's mad to think that two months ago, I was just reblogging stuff and not interacting THAT much with any fandom, and now I'm making you all happy with my writing!Anyways-Cheabroken!Yes!I love them and I'm so happy to write more of them!Enjoy!)
Cheated has never been more stressed in his fucking life.
The entire week, he's been wracked with anxiety and stress so bad, that he finally understood and sympathized with Paranoid.
Cheated worked nonstop just for this day-he went over everything that he would say, he made sure all the preparations were in order, and he did everything he could to make sure that nothing went wrong for him.It almost felt like he was asking for something bad to happen.
The reason why he was so stressed, was because today was the day that Cheated was going to ask Broken out.
He's known about his feelings for Broken for awhile. Ever since they were gifted their own bodies and they had that argument with Smitten and Skeptic all those months ago, Cheated had found himself getting more and more drawn to Broken.At first, it had just been the obligation to give Broken room to air his thoughts, without others either putting pressure on him or putting him down.
Cheated believed that they were all a part of the Long Quiet for a reason, and that every voice meant something to Him, so thinking that one voice was lesser than the others was an insane thought to Cheated.They were all shards of the same mirror.They had all been important to Him, once upon a time.
That kindness obviously extended to Broken as well, who had been so devastated and terrified at realising that his princess was no longer with him, leaving him feeling lost and worthless. It had been scarily easily for Smitten and Skeptic to pick him up, and practically whisk him away for their goal. Cheated had been too confused at the time to really understand what was going on, but he got there in the end.
At the start, Cheated believed that he needed to be the person that stuck up and talked for Broken, because otherwise Broken would just let everyone walk all over him. When they were arguing with Smitten and Skeptic, Cheated was surprised at how Broken actually stood up for himself pretty well, and then he was even more surprised at the screaming match he had with Stubborn, but he was surprised in such a positive way.
Broken was slowly but surely picking himself up and making himself move forward, even if he had very little belief in himself or his abilities-but Cheated couldn't help but admire everything about Broken.To be someone so lost in sorrow, but refusing to back down-that was exactly the type of strength and resolve that Cheated wished he had.
Cheated didn't need to defend Broken as much as he thought he did, but he still found himself being drawn in by his quiet brilliance and his kind and empathetic heart, and over the course of a few months, was spending all his free time with Broken.
He wasn't sure when he realised that he was falling in love with Broken. All he knew was that he was beginning to come to terms with how much he just stared at Broken, at his hypnotic eyes and his small, fluffy feathers that were finally growing back in. He would sit and stare and not even register what someone was saying because he was too busy thinking about how fucking pretty Broken was. Seriously, why wasn't Broken the one being worshipped?Cheated would've happily become a devoted follower.
Then it was thoughts like that-that made him think that maybe his feelings weren't quite platonic.
After that, it quickly dawned on him how flustered and nervous he got around Broken, or how his thoughts would be pulled back to thinking about Broken and what he was doing, or admiring how he smiled or laughed sometimes,or even daydreaming about what Broken would say to him in certain situations.
He believed that these thoughts were normal, until Stubborn managed to clock him in the face one day, all because he apparently looked 'worse than Smitten when talking about his darling.'
That was the smack in the face he needed.Literally.
He was in love with Broken.
With that realisation, came feelings of both horror and nerves, because Cheated wasn't sure if it was fair to Broken to pour his heart out to him, after how his last 'relationship' went.Would a relationship be something that Broken even wanted anymore?If Cheated asked and Broken said yes, would he only be saying that in the name of self preservation, to keep Cheated happy and himself safe?
Cheated hated the thought of doing that to Broken, of making him revert back to his old ways, and a part of him wanted to just keep these feelings to himself forever, for Broken's sake.
But then that other louder, and angrier side of him, smacked him upside the head, because assuming those things about Broken was ignoring all the growth and progress he had made in the last few months, and it was just making Cheated look like a dickhead.
Broken wasn't some sad and scared little creature that couldn't think for himself.He's proved Cheated wrong on that front many times, and each time made Cheated admire Broken more and more.Sure, he had moments where he didn't feel like getting out of bed and doing anything, or thoughts that made him believe that he didn't deserve to be here, but he had a whole flock to lean on.
Of course Cheated was there, and he was happy to take Broken on walks to help him clear his head and go outside more, and everyone else cared about him as well. Paranoid fretted over his wellbeing and if he was eating enough, Hero helped get his wings back to a much more healthy state, and even Smitten was doing his best to help, teaching him about gardening and caring for plants, and it all looked like it was helping Broken tremendously.
Broken was getting better, and Cheated would make sure to treat Broken with nothing less than pure love and respect, and he would make sure that Broken knew that every step of their relationship.
If he said yes.
That was the fear that had been clinging to Cheated all week-that Broken would say no, because getting fucked over at a time like this seemed to be exactly the type of thing to happen to Cheated.
Which was why he was so stressed, because he was doing everything in his power for this night to not go wrong, which-given who Cheated was, seemed like an impossible task.But he was nothing if not a fighter for what he believed in.
He had planned to take Broken out into a peaceful and secluded part of the woods, have a nice dinner, and at the end, Cheated would confess his feelings, and hope his heart didn't get crushed into a million pieces.
He had thought of and planned for everything that could potentially go wrong tonight.He asked Hunted to help him find the perfect spot to take Broken, trusting the other's judgement. He also needed to make sure nobody interrupted them or swooped Broken away at the last minute, so he pleaded to Oppy and Paranoid to make sure that nobody bothered them, and although they laughed at his desperation, they agreed.
Finally, the food.As much as Cheated wanted to make it, he knew that he would either somehow poison it or burn it to a crisp, so he enlisted someone else to do it.
He was extremely hesitant to ask Smitten, their resident chef, because once Smitten got a whiff of romance in the air, there would be no stopping his delusions and over the top ideas for the quiet date Cheated wanted, so he was pleasantly surprised to find that Hero could cook, and he happily agreed to do it for him, merely wishing him luck and that they find happiness together.
That did bring a tear to Cheated's eye, not that he'd ever admit it.
The one and only thing that Cheated couldn't account for was the weather.So he spent hours last night kneeling and praying to the Long Quiet or the Shifting Mound, or anyone that took pity on him, that a storm wouldn't be dropped on Cheated's head tomorrow.
He woke up to clear skies.
Cheated no longer cared if he lived with the worst luck imaginable for the rest of his life, so long as today went perfectly.
-
"Where are we going?"
"It's a secret."
Cheated giggled as he kept his hands placed firmly over Broken's eyes, carefully guiding them to their private area. Broken had been confused, but very curious, as Cheated asked to take him somewhere.
He could feel Broken's feathers tensing underneath his palms, and he leaned closer so that he could whisper,"It's okay, you're gonna like this."
Despite his words, he felt Broken freeze and tense up beneath him, feathers fluffing up and tickling his hands.Thankfully, he didn't have to dwell on it for long, as he said,"Here we are."
He stopped, and let his arms fall, hearing Broken gasp as he took in the display.
They were in the middle of an area that consisted of soft, tame grass, as if from a field, with no jagged rocks or twisting weeds in sight, surrounded by a protective wall of imposing trees.In the middle of the grass, was a tree stump, which Cheated had chopped down himself, with many splinters to show for it. He had then chopped the tree further, making logs to use as seats on either side of their tree stump table.
The scent of food wafted over to them, and Cheated's mouth salivated at the smell of the vegetables and cooked meat Hero had prepared for them.
Broken spun back around to face him, eyes wide in shock and wonder, but Cheated just grinned in anticipation, gently turning him back around by the shoulders to the table, pointing up at the sky as he said,"Wait for it."
Broken obeyed, silently looking up-just in time for a cloud to float past, and letting the light of the moon spill down directly onto the table, illuminating the whole area in moonlight.
Broken gasped, and Cheated leaned over to look at his face.He seemed shocked, but happy, and happy was what Cheated was going for right now.
"Do you like it?"Cheated asked, and once those awestruck eyes were on him, he was suddenly hit with a wave of embarrassment and anxiety.His face heated up and he started to stumble over his words."I-I really hope you like it.I-um-did this for you-to give you a good time.Is-is it okay?"
Broken stared at him for a few seconds, before looking back out at all that Cheated had prepared. He raised a hesitant hand towards his chest and said,"You did all this-for me?"
"Yeah, of course!"Cheated wrapped an arm around Broken and started to walk him over to the table."I wanted to do something nice for you."
"You didn't have to,"Broken muttered, looking down at the ground.
Cheated rolled his eyes."I didn't have to, but I wanted to."
Broken still seemed unsure as they sat down, but Cheated allowed him a few minutes to get comfortable, until he eventually saw the tension and apprehension leave his body.Broken casted a wary glance out in the distance, and Cheated casually waved a hand in the air and said,"Oh, don't worry, we're not in any danger."
That wary look was then directed at Cheated, who couldn't help but think it looked cute."How do you know?"
"I had Hunted scout this place out for me.There's not a monster in sight, and I've got Hunted guarding the perimeter tonight, just in case."
"Really?"Broken gave him a surprised look, then glanced around them, pinning his eyes on a random spot of the dark trees, and Cheated chuckled as Broken lifted a hand and waved into the distance, seemingly saying hello to Hunted. Cheated had no idea where Hunted was right, only that he hadn't needed much convincing to guard them tonight, and Cheated weirdly felt way more safe and secure with Hunted around, because that was one less thing that could go wrong.
"You've-"Broken said,a suspicious tone in his voice as he took in all of Cheated's work,"put a lot of thought into this.Why?"
Cheated gave him a soft smile, reaching over and placing a hand atop of his, his thumb brushing knuckles.Broken froze, and stared down at their hands, feathers shooting up in surprise.Cheated's voice was surprisingly calm as he said,"I just wanted to make sure you had a good time tonight."
Broken let a breath out, and Cheated hoped he hadn't done anything wrong yet, but the feeling of Broken's full attention on him was beginning to make the butterflies in his stomach turn into a raging stampede, so he quickly took his hand back, missing the disappointment on Broken's face, and motioned down at his food."Let's dig in, yeah?"
-
Dinner was great.
But spending a whole evening with Broken was even better.
The longer the night went on, the more fond and utterly in love Cheated was becoming with Broken. He loved the light yet strong tone he held in his voice, and the way his eyes shone and gave away everything he was feeling.He loved catching the moments where Broken would subconsciously trace invisible doodles with his finger along the tree stump table, and Cheated just longed to see what they could be like.
But eventually, their food had been eaten, the conversation was beginning to dim from energy, and Cheated knew that his moment had come.
He took a shaky breath in, briefly wondering if Paranoid's chant would work for him right now, and stared down as he softly took Broken's hands within his, prompting Broken to slowly stop what he was saying.
Cheated glanced up at him, his cheeks feeling on fire, as he took in Broken's soft confusion."Broken," Cheated began, desperately trying to keep his voice steady and calm and to not fuck this up.
"I really hope I made you happy tonight,"he said, and Broken stiffly nodded."Yeah, of course you did. I'm always happy when I'm with you."The words sent an addicting warmth through his bones, and he had to use all his control to stop his smile from spreading to one of those stupid and lovey dovey ones that Smitten was known to wear.
"That's such a relief to hear,"he said, squeezing their hands once for reassurance,"because there's something I've really wanted to tell you for awhile."
"What?"Broken quietly said, and Cheated found it easier to speak when he was just staring down at their hands, reminding him of the reason he was doing all this.
"Broken, I think you're one of the most beautiful and inspiring people I know.You're so empathetic and strong, whether you realise it or not.You've been through so much, but you're still here, fighting and proving your demons wrong-that you are worthy of love and happiness, and I'm so fucking honored to be a part of your life and to watch you slowly believe that, because I've always thought that way about you.I've always-cared about you, but for awhile, my feelings for you have grown stronger."
He gulped."Broken-I'm in love with you, and I wanted to show you that I can treat you the way you deserve to be treated-with nothing less than love and respect and complete care.So, I just wanted to tell you all this, because I'll go crazy if I don't tell you how you make me feel just by being around your beautiful self-and if you feel the same way, maybe we can-"
But Cheated never got the chance to finish his confession, as Broken gripped his face and pulled him into a passionate kiss.
He was stunned, but quickly melted into the kiss, not willing to turn down a golden opportunity like this.
God, even kissing Broken felt warm. But not in an intense, mind spinning way. No, this warmth felt safe, it felt like nothing but the two of them mattered in this moment, and all Cheated had to focus on was Broken.It felt happy.It felt right.
Home.The kiss felt like home.
Then suddenly, Broken pulled them apart, panting with a worried and frantic look on his face.Cheated could do nothing but stare in amazement as Broken began to ramble,"Sorry!Sorry!I-I didn't mean to ruin your moment!"Broken started to absent-mindedly grip his hands for comfort, whether he was aware of it or not, but Cheated still squeezed them to calm the other down.
Broken was looking everywhere that wasn't Cheated."I just-I just-I heard what you were saying, and with what you did tonight, I had a feeling that you were going to-and-and-"
"Broken,"Cheated calmly said, stopping the other in his panic.Broken looked up in surprise, and Cheated felt his hands bring gripped tightly, as he watched Broken take a deep and slow breath in. Cheated smiled at the now more relaxed state Broken was in.
Broken continued, much more calm this time,"I knew what you were going to say-and I felt like I needed to be the one to bridge that gap.I-I can't explain it, I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's okay,"Cheated said, tugging on their hands to get Broken's attention."I honestly didn't mind it-it was actually really nice."Broken giggled, and Cheated grinned wider at the sound."But that just means that I'm still waiting."
Broken looked up at him in confusion."Waiting?For what?"Cheated gave him a playful grin."For you to ask me out."Broken was surprised for a second, his wings flapping once in shock, before he smiled bashfully and asked,"Cheated, I'm in love with you. Do you want to be my partner?"
Cheated smiled so hard that it hurt, but he didn't care.He was the luckiest bastard in this shitty world."I would love to be your partner, Broken.I love you."
Then they both leaned in for another kiss, and Cheated's life was now perfect.
#slay the princess#stories#my writing#writing prompt#tongues and teeth#stp voices#stp#stp broken#stp cheated#voice of the broken#voice of the cheated#cheabroken#Hunted then emerges from the trees holding a bouquet of roses he stole from Smitten's garden and gives it to them as a congratulations gift#They happily take it#It was incredibly important to me that Broken be the one to initiate the first kiss and take control of their relationship#To be the one to push for this new relationship that they both want
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#losing passion for a story is one of my least-favorite experiences#and i can feel it happening with one i was so excited to finally write#but some transphobic troll was commenting on every single update and though i can usually ignore shit like that#something about it just... really rubbed me the wrong way and now every time i look at this fic#i just think of those comments and my inspiration/passion wilts#and every time i open that document i question whether i want to keep writing or not#but i would like to say that the way i often write rhaenyra is based off emma d'arcy's own words of how they played her#but also my own interpretation of her and how i saw her struggling and grappling with her own gender#which is something (as someone who considers themselves trans) i do on a near-constant basis#so writing rhaenyra struggling or presenting more masculine in my fics is my way of getting gender euphoria#because unfortunately for me i have neither the time nor the money (or support!) to make myself how i'm meant to look
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life comes at you so fast
#tw personal#tw death#tw cancer#not my usual silly goofy post but it’s hard to remain that way when there’s a lot weighing on your mind#cancer sucks#and it’s unfair how quickly it can take people from us#one moment they seem fine and the next they’re in the icu with a week left to live#he passed two nights ago#i wasn’t planning to post about it but i have the tendency to disassociate from my grief#so here i am instead of wherever the hell!#it’s heartbreaking because he and his wife weren’t just my mum’s bosses - they were long-time friends#i have clear childhood memories of playing at their house with their son#his youngest child is only 3 years old#as soon as he found out he started giving his final messages to his staff#obviously nobody wants to die in that situation#but you could feel how much he *wanted to live*#when i was told about his death it was in the morning and it didn’t feel real#every time i had seen him in the last year he always had a smile on his face#it’s always been hard for me to deal with the prospect of death#and understand how fragile life is#how REAL mortality is#it hits even harder when it happens to someone who was so FULL of life#sighs#life comes at you fast#sometimes in all directions and in every possible and testing way imaginable#i’ve been trying to write and feel any sense of normalcy this evening but for a multitude of reasons i have a sinking feeling in my stomach#sometimes when i’m upset i try recycle the feeling into excitement or happiness over something else#yeah … i can’t really do that tonight#apologies if my energy is bleh. hold your loved ones close. now i return you to my regular scheduled programming
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Jitterbug
#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it#and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago#bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o)#well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall#im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot#i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing????#i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T#because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks#at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better#its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh#in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats#mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year#i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o)#THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o(#yapping#my art#myart#doodles#personal#diary
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i finished five broken blades
#and.....six of crows has yet to be topped#it's funny how every time a pair of unlikely people have to be paired up for a dangerous mission it's alwayssss compared to soc#and the comparison just never holds up#i am so baffled that this is an adult book bc the writing style was incredibly juvenile. very repetitive. a lot of telling not showing#six of crows had better character work By Far. i really felt who each of those characters were. and i felt how they bonded over time#in this book it was like. there's a bubbly quirky girl and the author's attempts at making her so made me cringe#it was very heavy handed#i could see what she wanted each character to be like but the execution was just not it#there was a part halfway through after they all finally met up where something happened and they had to work together to save someone#and in each character's pov it was just like 'they'd killed and lied for each other' 'they were family beyond blood'#and i was like ??? that's it???? idk i never felt them growing closer to each other. it's like the author relied more on telling us rather#than showing it#and then the romance..... don't get me started on the romance it was so poorly done almost like insta-love???#there was just no time for the feelings to develop it happened so quickly#i wasn't impressed at all#and like. i guess my main problem is too much showing not enough telling#'i can't trust her' 'i can't trust him' 'no one around me can be trusted'#it was so repetitive like okay i get it!!! but i wanted to Feel it. i wanted to feel the messiness and ugliness of this distrust#'we killed and bled for one another'👍🆗#when they all met with each other halfway through i got excited like yessss it's going to be ugly and nasty now i need them to be Messy#esp since this is an adult book i was really looking forward to new levels of debauchery but it was So tame and vanilla????#sure they killed people but nothing was even remotely close to the level of when kaz plucked out that guy's eyeball :(#that was vicious. we all still remember that. i expected that in this book but no....#can't believe six of crows is ya and it's superior to this supposedly adult book#let me list the good things though. it ws a super fast read at 500 pages#and i had no problem distinguishing the 6 povs from each other#and the climax was thrilling my heart pounded all throughout
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How to Write a Confession of Love
Build the Emotional Tension Before the big confession, let the tension simmer between the characters. Maybe they share little glances across the room, or their hands brush accidentally but neither pulls away. Every shared laugh or lingering look should leave the reader wondering “Is this it?” When the confession finally happens, it’ll feel like the natural next step, as if both characters have been teetering on the edge of admitting their feelings for a while.
Inner Turmoil Leading Up to the Moment No one’s ever totally confident before saying, “I like you,” or “I love you.” Show the character’s inner freak-out. Maybe they’re wondering if they’re about to ruin everything, or if the other person feels the same. Let them overthink every detail, what if they mess it up? What if they say the wrong thing? This nervousness is super relatable and makes the confession way more intense and vulnerable.
Choose the Right Setting Where the confession happens can completely change the vibe. If it’s somewhere quiet and personal, like on the roof under the stars or sitting close on a couch, it adds a sense of intimacy. But maybe it’s in the middle of a party or a chaotic situation, where emotions are running high and everything’s on the line. The setting should fit the emotions—are they scared? Excited? Confused? Let the environment match their energy.
Don’t Make It Perfect Real life is messy, and confessions of love are no different. Maybe the character fumbles their words, says something awkward, or has to start over. Maybe they get interrupted, or they laugh nervously halfway through. These imperfections make the moment feel real. It’s not about saying the perfect words, it’s about what’s in their heart. Let the raw, unpolished feelings shine through.
Balance Between Show and Tell Obviously, they’re going to say something like “I love you” or “I can’t stop thinking about you,” but actions and body language speak just as loudly. Maybe their voice cracks, they shift closer without realizing it, or they can’t seem to meet the other person’s eyes. Maybe their hands are shaking, or their heart is pounding so loud they can’t hear anything else. Let those little details paint the full picture of how much this confession means.
The Other Person’s Reaction It’s not just about the person confessing, the other person’s reaction is a huge part of the scene. Are they completely shocked? Do they hesitate, or respond right away? Do they get teary-eyed or try to play it cool? The way they react adds layers to the moment. Even a pause before answering can make the scene ten times more intense. Their response shows how much they’ve been waiting for or dreading this confession too.
In short, make it messy, emotional, and real. Readers want to feel the build-up, the fear, the excitement, and the vulnerability of both characters. Don’t be afraid to make things a little awkward or imperfect, that’s what makes a confession unforgettable.
#writing#writerscommunity#writer on tumblr#writing tips#character development#writing advice#oc character#writing help#writer tumblr#writblr#writing love
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heyyyyyyyy! I have a thought. Do you think that reader could get rafe to beg? Like maybe he did smth that pissed reader off so she’s been ignoring him but rage just can’t take it anymore? I love your writing so honestly just go crazy
-👻 anon
a/n. first ask, i'm so excited! in answer to your question: yes! absolutely, yes! this man is soo pussy whipped, he'd do anything for reader. ty for the request, babe!
two hours of you giving rafe the cold shoulder it's all it takes for him to break. he knows he fucked up greatly, but you're just being so mean that he cannot help the way his lips curl into a pout as he kneels in front of you, pleading for your forgiveness.
only you could get rafe motherfucking cameron to beg like this.
"baby, 'm so, so sorry," he apologizes, big hands gripping onto your plush thighs tightly so you can't get away from him this time, not again. "forgive me, yeah? i know i screwed up, and i'm sorry."
his lips start peppering kisses over the sliver of bare skin under the hem of your top as he keeps muttering words of repentance, the actions making your heart melt. "it won't happen again, i promise to you, angel."
"i'm really pissed at you right now, rafe," you address him for the first time in hours, voice tone sharp.
he doesn't care how cold you sound, though, the fact that you're finally talking to him instead of ignoring his presence nearly makes him cry happy tears. how embarrassing is that? he can't believe you got him this hooked. he should be the one in charge, not you, but, let's be honest, he's too in love with you to even care anymore.
"i know, baby, i'm sorry," he repeats for the hundredth time, puppy, blue eyes staring up at you entreatingly. "what can i do for you to forgive me? i'll do anything, just please, stop being mad."
"anything?"
a mischievous smirk spreads across your pretty face, your mind already conjuring up all the filthy ways he could make it up to you.
"anything, angel."
that's how he ends up tied up to the bed, hands desperately tugging at the fluffy, pink handcuffs in a failed attempt to break free of them while you ride his pretty face. he's fucking drowning in your pussy, dick achingly hard inside his pants.
what a shame you won't make him cum this time, as a little punishment.
your hips rock against his face unabashedly, feeling the way his eager tongue parts your chubby folds to drink up your sweet essence, occasionally slipping inside your pussy to fuck you with it. his nose is rubbing your puffy clit every time you grind down, which has you mewling and shuddering atop him.
"i love you so much, baby," he'd mumble against your cunt, totally mesmerised by the hypnotic sway of your hips and your taste.
your flesh muffle his words and grunts, but you understand what he says and look down at him with adoring eyes, just to find him staring up at you in the same way, pink lips glistening with a combination of your arousal and his spit.
the sight is enough to send you spiralling into a mind blowing orgasm that makes you let out the most lewd moan you've ever made, body shaking as your legs close around his head, almost suffocating him.
"fuck, i love you too," you breath out, the aftershocks of your climax making your brain dizzy. "i forgive you, rafey."
honestly, he doesn't quite understand how this could be a punishment for him, but he's not one to complain.
more.
#🍒 ‧₊˚ ⋅ rafeysbunny#🍒 ‧₊˚ ⋅ drabbles#‧₊˚ ⋅ 👻 anon#wrote this while thinking 'bout pouty rafe in s4#ask#anon ask#obx#outer banks#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe cameron#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe obx#outer banks rafe#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe x you#sub!rafe#sub!rafe cameron
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Family without light.
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[#part1 #part2 ]
Bruce and Y/N divorced after more than 15 years of marriage. The marriage was only for the sake of cooperation between the two companies, not for love. But after Y/N's father died and she took over the company, she decided to cancel the contract between them and divorce him. But... that's not what matters to Damian now... what matters to him is what happened after Y/N left the house. He thought that when she left, nothing would happen, he always ignored her or even fought with her or said harsh words in front of her and behind her. But... when did his wounds and injuries become so painful? After all, it's not the first time he got injured while fighting some villains. After all, he was trained by his mother Talia to be strong and feel as painless as possible. So he's surprised by the pain he feels from a mere scratch! His mother would be disappointed if she knew about this. But that's not the only change Damian has noticed. Y/N usually took him home from school and home to school and sometimes took him to the mall to buy food for his pets or to the Kent family's house. Now that she was gone, it was Alfred who drove him with Bruce and sometimes Jason. Tim barely had time for himself and Dick wasn't in Gotham. So when Jason was busy on a case and Alfred was busy, he would wait for one of them to come or he would walk home. As the days went by he was getting tired of it, the commute between home and school was too long... and he missed the places Y/N used to take him. She would take him after shopping to see the ocean or even to a fancy place to buy him nice clothes that fit his taste... she knew how to choose clothes... comfortable and cool at the same time. He missed when she would stop at the candy store or ice cream shop to buy his favorite flavor without telling Alfred. He missed when she would defend him in front of his father, she knew when he was lying or not. And when Bruce punishes him by stopping him from going on patrol, Y/N will bring the Robin costume that Bruce hid and then she will ask him to go in patrol, whether Bruce wants to or not. He missed her when she would stand waiting for him every day after school, start another fight in the car with her, and make it up to him with ice cream even though she didn't do anything wrong... He missed her... So he had a plan, a plan for her to come and take him from school to the market. A few weeks ago, Damian saw one of the students at his school calling their mother because they were sick. So Damian was going to call Y/N... and tell her he was sick and she would take him! Yeah, after all, it had been 3 months since the divorce, she must be missing him by now. Right?
"Yes Damian Wayne? What's wrong?" The headmistress said with a raised eyebrow upon seeing Damian hoping he wasn't here because of another fight.
Damian looked at her for a few moments nervous and a little excited. "I'm sick... I need to go home early today. Can I call someone to pick me up?" Damian said using his acting skills and speaking in a pale and sick voice. The principal was surprised and nodded "Of course you can, go ahead you can call your family." The principal gave him the phone and Damian took it after thanking her he went out and stood in the school corridor while writing down Y/N's number after writing down the number he was nervous and his finger hovered over the call button. after taking a deep breath he pressed the call button and put the phone to his ear... After waiting for an eternity (for Damian) a familiar voice answered. "Yes? Who's calling?" Damian forgot for a while why he was calling but he finally answered.
"I-It's me, Damian... I'm calling from school..." Damian said cursing himself for stuttering.
"Okay?... What do you want?"
"I... I'm sick... and Alfred is busy, I need you to pick me up from here." Damian answered lowering his voice, to show that he was sick. There was a long moment of silence… then Y/N answered, “Why should I?… I don’t have a connection to Bruce anymore, so you’re not my responsibility anymore.” Damian felt a lump in his throat… like he was choking, did she not miss him? Did she no longer love him? Or care about him? Was everything she did fake? No… it was real, he felt it! Damian answered in a voice close to tears while cursing himself internally for his weakness, “What?… But I… I… I’m sick…” Damian couldn’t hold back the tears that started to fall. “then call your mom… I’m busy, don’t call again.” Y/N hung up the phone before Damian could answer. Damian tried not to fall and cry, tried to wipe away his tears, tried to hide the trembling of his body, but he failed. After crying silently in the bathroom for a while, he washed his face and handed the phone back to the principal, looking down, trying to avoid her gaze. The day passed quietly, Alfred came late as always and got into the car silently as usual, but this time he was sadder. After several more months, Damian was about to forget about it and act like nothing happened. He was walking out of school and heading to his new seating area where he would sit while waiting for Alfred or Jason. But he noticed something… no, someone… It was Y/N! Damian's heart fluttered with joy and he wanted to run to her… She came for him!… That's what Damian thought as he prepared to run to her… But before his joy could be complete, he saw a twin from the same school he goes to. They hugging Y/N… Why? Damian looked at them in confusion… then he heard one of them say 'Auntie'… then Damian knew that Y/N didn't come for him… but for those two, Damian was hit with another wave of sadness, he was about to cry, he was close to crying but he didn't in front of people… so he silently walked to the spot where he sits to wait for someone to take him home while he watched Y/N from afar… she patted the two kids on the head… hugged them, opened the car door for them… Damian's breath was shaky, he was about to break down, why did she have to be nice to them, what about him? He also wanted her to look at him, smile at him, ask him how school was, and spoil him with sweets… he wanted someone to take care of him… he wanted her to take care of him like Talia didn't… he missed Y/N. He will do anything to back the days before she leave him... he promise to himself.
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#bruce wayne x reader#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batman#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#bruce wayne#damian wayne#yandere#yandere batboys#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#tim drake x reader#damian wayne x reader#batmom x bruce wayne#batmom x batfam#batman x reader#red robin#dc robin#robin#yandere damian wayne#damian al ghul#dick grayson x reader#yandere dick grayson#jason todd x reader#jason todd#tim drake#red hood#Nightwing#nightwing
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Hi! Could I ask Lando with pregnant reader. Like maybe her getting dizzy bc of all the paparazzis and fans surrounding. Maybe angsty. Dunno if you'll like the idea, but I honestly love ur work soo much
Our little miracle - LN4
*:・゚ Summary/request: request by anon as you can read above this!
*:・゚ Word count: 1244
*:・゚ A/N: first of all I want to say sorry for not being so active lately! I’ve been busy with school and work, I didn’t had any time to write! Second I want to say thank you so much anon! I hope you like this story too! If not let me known!
masterlist / community / request
౨ৎ
The late morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, warming the bedroom and casting soft golden streaks on the walls. The gentle hum of the city outside was barely audible over the rhythmic sound of Lando’s breathing beside you. His arm was slung lazily over your waist, his warmth seeping into your skin like a comforting blanket.
You blinked sleepily, turning your head to look at him. His face was still soft with sleep, his hair a wild mess of curls that begged to be smoothed down. He looked so peaceful like this, so completely at ease, and it made your heart ache in the best way.
“Caught you staring,” he mumbled, his voice raspy as his lips curled into a sleepy grin.
“I wasn’t staring,” you lied, your cheeks heating up.
“Sure,” he teased, his eyes still closed. “You’ve been staring at me every morning for the past five years. It’s okay, I’m used to it.”
You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away. “Good morning, Lando.”
“Morning,” he said, finally opening his eyes. They were warm and bright, like pools of melted chocolate, and they crinkled at the corners as he smiled at you. “Guess what day it is?”
You blinked, still half-asleep. “Uh… Saturday?”
“Baby shopping day,” he announced, his grin widening.
You couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm. “You’re more excited about this than I am.”
“Of course I am!” he said, propping himself up on one elbow. “We’re picking out stuff for our baby. This is a big deal.”
It was a big deal. After months of trying—months of hope and heartbreak—you were finally here. Fourteen weeks pregnant, your little miracle growing inside you. It still didn’t feel real sometimes, like you were dreaming and could wake up at any moment.
“I still can’t believe this is happening,” you said softly, your hand resting on your small but growing bump.
“It’s happening,” Lando said, covering your hand with his. His eyes softened as he looked at you, his thumb brushing gently over your knuckles. “And I can’t wait to spoil both of you today.”
---
The car ride into the city was filled with laughter and teasing. Lando, as usual, couldn’t resist cracking jokes, trying to lighten the nerves you hadn’t even realized you were feeling.
“Okay, but hear me out,” he said, glancing at you with a mischievous grin. “What if we name the baby after a car? Like… Ferrari Norris. Or McLaren Norris. That’s got a nice ring to it, right?”
You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Absolutely not. Our child is not going to be named after a car brand.”
“Fine,” he said, pretending to pout. “But if they grow up to be a racer, I’m taking full credit for the inspiration.”
The boutique Lando had chosen was tucked away in a quieter part of the city, its window displays filled with pastel-colored baby clothes and wooden toys. The moment you stepped inside, you were greeted by the soft scent of lavender and the faint sound of a lullaby playing over the speakers.
Lando’s eyes lit up as he took in the rows of tiny clothes and baby accessories. “This is it,” he said, grabbing your hand. “This is where we find all the cool stuff.”
You spent the next hour wandering the store, debating over cribs and strollers, laughing as Lando tried to convince you that the baby absolutely needed a mini Formula 1 onesie.
“Come on,” he said, holding it up with a grin. “How cute would they look in this?”
“They’d look adorable,” you admitted, “but they’ll probably outgrow it in a month.”
“Worth it,” he said, tossing it into the shopping basket.
You couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. Seeing him like this—so excited, so ready to dive headfirst into parenthood—made your heart swell with love.
---
By the time you left the store, the sun had climbed higher in the sky, and the streets were bustling with activity. Lando carried the shopping bags in one hand, his other arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders.
You didn’t notice the paparazzi at first.
It started with a few flashes, the sudden brightness making you blink. Then came the voices—shouting questions and calling Lando’s name.
“Lando! Over here!” “How’s the season going?” “Is it true you’re expecting?”
The crowd seemed to grow out of nowhere, fans and photographers swarming around you. The noise was overwhelming, a cacophony of voices and camera clicks that made your head spin.
“Lando,” you said softly, gripping his arm.
He turned to you immediately, his eyes scanning your face. “Hey, are you okay?”
You tried to nod, but the dizziness was already setting in. The flashes, the shouting, the crush of bodies—it was too much.
“I don’t feel…” Your voice trailed off as your vision blurred.
Lando didn’t hesitate. Dropping the shopping bags, he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you steady. “Alright, that’s enough!” he snapped, his voice sharp and commanding. “Back off! She’s pregnant. Give her some space!”
The crowd faltered, the realization rippling through them. But Lando didn’t wait for them to comply. He guided you away from the chaos, his body shielding yours as he led you down a quieter side street.
“Breathe, love,” he said softly, stopping to face you. His hands cupped your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had started to fall. “In and out. I’ve got you.”
You nodded, focusing on his voice, his touch. The dizziness slowly faded, replaced by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your palm.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, guilt creeping in. “I ruined our day.”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” Lando said, his tone gentle but firm. “You and the baby come first. Always.”
You managed a weak smile. “Even over baby sneakers?”
“Even over baby sneakers,” he said, grinning. “But just barely.”
---
Back at home, the chaos of the day felt like a distant memory. Lando had insisted on ordering takeout, claiming that you deserved to be spoiled after the ordeal.
As you sat on the couch, surrounded by the shopping bags you’d managed to bring home, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace. Lando was in the kitchen, humming softly as he poured you a glass of water.
“Here you go,” he said, handing it to you before sitting down beside you. His hand immediately found its way to your stomach, resting there gently.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice soft.
“I’m okay,” you said, covering his hand with yours. “Thanks to you.”
He smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to your temple. “I can’t wait to meet them,” he said quietly, his voice filled with wonder.
“Me too,” you whispered, leaning into him.
For a while, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, the only sounds the faint hum of the city outside and the occasional rustle of the shopping bags.
“You know,” Lando said after a moment, “I meant what I said earlier. You and the baby come first. Always.”
You turned to look at him, your heart swelling with love. “I know,” you said. “And I love you for it.”
“I love you too,” he said, his eyes shining with emotion. “More than anything.”
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the room in a warm, golden glow, you realized that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you and Lando would face them together.
And that was all that mattered.
౨ৎ
*:・゚ Notes; thank you for reading, love’s! Hope you all enjoyed it! If there is something wrong or need to be edited, let me know!
*:・゚tags; @gridprincess-04 , @justaf1girl
#lando norris#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula one x reader#formula one x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando x y/n#lando norris imagine#lando x you#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris fluff#lando norris fic#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norizz#lando nowins#formula one#f1 fluff#fluff#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1#formula racing#pregnant
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made a bad, impulsive decision (bought the galaxy tab s6 lite)
#this is what happens when I get a anxiety attack and think 'what is the point of saving money if the world's going to shit'#anyway I feel bad about it but also excited but also guilty#I hope I don't regret it#at least if I buy a keyboard for it one day I can also use it for writing when my 7+yo chromebook finally dies#and I'm excited about being able to sketch digitally anywhere#my phone is probably gonna have to be replaced later this year too so that'll be a lot of money too but ugh ugh ugh#I got the tablet for 270€ though AND it includes the S pen so I think it's a pretty good deal??#bee talks
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 39: Life
Summary: Something begins to throb in your chest as you lay there. Something thrums deep within you, something you haven’t felt in weeks.
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 8,194 words
Warnings: Angst, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, angst, PTSD, nightmares, POV changes, depression and anxiety, illness, language, slightly graphic imagery, very slight violence, rumination, lots of feels, and yes finally some comfort
A/N: Yes, it has finally arrived. The time has come. We are now in the comfort. This very much is a good place to end things for the next month. If you haven't seen my post then I'll say it here, I will be putting the fic on a brief hiatus for the month of October. I have Kyletober planned and trying to do CRCB at the same time will be too much. So this will be the last chapter for a couple weeks while I focus on other things and just give my brain a little break from CRCB. It's been eight months of just pumping out long chapters every week, or almost every week, so I need a little break to focus on other things. I'll still be writing and posting things here (and Ao3 of course) but there won't be another CRCB chapter posted until November.
But anyway, I hope you enjoy this one and the comfort starting and I'm super excited for what's coming next month (can't believe it's almost October)
11/30/24: **This chapter has been edited and rewritten from its original version**
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
“I need you to be brave.” Christine says, staring up at him.
His heart thumps in his chest. How bad is it that not only did she summon him down here, but she’s asking him to be brave. He knows you’re sick, that you’ve fallen ill after your moment of anger earlier. She had informed them over dinner as she made some broth that you came down with a fever.
They had all been worried, sharing glances at the news. John looked like a dog that had been scolded. It was his fault, after all.
If anything happens to you, it is his fault.
Johnny swallows the lump in his throat, nodding slowly as he stares down at Christine. “I can be brave.”
Christine stares up at him for a long moment before nodding. She pushes the door open, leading him inside your room. The scent in the air is thick, tainted by the bitter scent of anxiety still lingering in the air, and the sour scent of illness. He misses the fresh scent of strawberries, he has missed it over the last few weeks. Your scent had taken on a bitter edge ever since the cameras were revealed to them. It’s only gotten stronger recently after the events that transpired.
All of their scents have been off lately.
It’s dark in the room aside from the bedside lamp. It casts a soft glow around the room, elongating the shadows in the corners. They loom threateningly, and his fingers twitch to turn on the overhead light.
You don’t like the overhead light. It’s too bright.
You always prefer softer light. Is it an omega thing, or is it just a you thing? He’s not quite sure.
How little they really understand you.
The lamp illuminates a pile of blankets on the bed, stacked one on top of each other to create a lump of soft fabric. You’re underneath that pile, he knows it. You’ve always liked blankets, always carried one with you in the barracks, eternally cold in the harsh world they existed in on base. This many blankets though? It was excessive even for you.
He approaches the bed slowly, scared at what he might find. Images of you laying in a puddle of blood, cold and stiff fills his mind. Images of a skeletal figure reduced to nothing but skin stretched over bones has his heart racing. What will he find on the other side of that pile obscuring you from his vision?
He swallows down his fear, reminding himself that he’s a soldier. He’s seen dead bodies before, he’s killed before. So why is he so scared now?
This isn’t war. It’s you.
He steps up to the side of the bed, looking down on you. You’re shivering, trembling under the blankets. Sweat beads on your forehead, skin dewy and clammy in your fever. You look more alive than the skeletal figure he had pictured in his mind, but you don’t look well.
You look near death.
“I’m worried about her.” Christine says, closing the door behind her. “She needs someone from her pack close. You’re making the most effort right now, and if anyone might get through to her, it’s you. She needs...someone.” Christine sighs. “Someone who can offer what I can’t.”
“She needs a member of her pack.” Johnny says, easily putting together what Christine was saying.
He knows what she’s asking. He’s scared. He’s not sure how you’ll react. The last people you want to see right now is your pack, including him. How will you react to having him so close?
“Exactly.” Christine says, stepping up right next to him.
Her fingers wrap around his wrist, and he lets her guide his hand to your cheek. It’s hot and clammy against his palm, a fire blazing under your skin. You let out a shuddering breath, the air fanning weakly against his wrist. Your head turns just slightly, pressing into his hand. It’s a good sign, despite the delirium you have to be stuck in. What are you imagining is happening right now? What is your brain telling you?
“Touch her, talk to her.” Christine says, releasing his wrist. He keeps his hand there, pressed against your cheek. “We need to try and get her back before this gets worse.”
Before they lose you.
She won’t say it out loud.
She doesn’t need to.
Johnny nods, turning his head to look at Christine over his shoulder. She looks exhausted, and not just because of the late hour. She’s done so much over the past few weeks watching you and caring for you. Maybe it is time one of them tries to step up and help her. You can’t avoid them forever, no matter how much you might feel like trying.
He has to try. For you.
“I know what tae do.” He says, his eyes flickering to the books stacked on your dresser, the ones Simon and John picked up.
Christine squeezes his arm. “I’m just across the living room if you need me.”
“I’ll try not to.” He says.
She stares up at him for a long moment before nodding. She understands. He doesn’t have to say much else. She leaves the door cracked and he doesn’t mind, moving away from you to look through the books on the dresser. A handful of them are new, or at least ones he’s never seen you read before. A couple are ones he knows are in your collection at the barracks. He picks one of those, some fantasy novel he’s seen you read more than once.
He looks between the bed and the chairs. He could pull one over and sit by your side.
No, Christine said it was better to touch you.
Instead he climbs onto the bed, sitting close enough he can feel the heat from your body. He cracks open the book, flipping through to the first page. He clears his throat, staring down at you for a moment before he begins to read.
Rain batters the roof, coming down hard outside. The wind is blowing, whooshing past the house, rattling the shutters. The storm blew in from the sea, dumping rain by dinner and then the wind picked up by the time they were all getting ready to settle in for the night.
It feels fitting, a storm blowing in at a time when a storm is brewing within their pack.
The storm he blew into their pack.
He lays there in bed, listening to it rage outside. It’s quiet in the house, Simon and Johnny already settled in, and so are you downstairs. Kyle is beside him, but not asleep. He’s laying awake again as they have done since their arrival. He can feel the heat of Kyle’s body against his arm as he lays on his back, Kyle on his side facing away from him.
“You just had to do it, didn’t you?” Kyle asks quietly, breaking the silence. “Can’t even go a week without trying to apologize knowing full well she won’t forgive you.”
John stays silent, having expected some kind of reprimanding for his actions. He really was selfish for what he did. Kyle is right. You won’t forgive him, no matter how many times or ways he tries to say sorry.
“You’re just making it worse.” Kyle huffs out. “You’re the last person that should try apologizing right now.”
“You’re right.” He finally says. “It was selfish of me to do that. I just wanted her to know-”
“She knows.” Kyle snaps, cutting him off. “She’s not stupid and oblivious. She knows we’re all feeling guilty, she knows how sorry we all are. She won’t let us apologize until she’s ready. Shows just how little you actually understand her, trying to do that.” Kyle pushes himself up to sit. “She doesn’t want words. She’s had words spewed at her, her whole life telling her what to do, how to feel, how to act. She wants actions. She wants us to prove to her that we do care, that we are sorry, that we’re making an effort to make things up to her. She wants us to prove that we’re putting her first by putting her first.”
John knows he’s right. Words won’t solve a situation like this. None of them know where to start, though. How do you try and make things up to someone when you’re not even sure that person wants you to try?
“She’s sick now, because of what you did.” Kyle continues. “If anything happens to her...” He trails off, shaking his head.
“I’ll let you take the first shot.” John says. “I know. I’ve been a miserable excuse of an alpha. It’s easy when you have the confines of the military to hold everything in place. When those expectations dictate your life and how to run a pack. It’s easy, when you can exist as a pack with those set routines and structures. The facade that makes everything seem like it's working.” He shakes his head. “We never would have worked outside of those confines.”
Kyle’s head turns slightly towards him, but his gaze is still on the far wall. “No, we wouldn’t have. None of us would have chosen this in the first place.”
“Probably not.” John agrees. “Then we got an omega added, an outsider that showed us just how weak we really were.”
“We were crumbling long before that.” Kyle says. “We weren’t ready for an omega, we shouldn’t have ever had an omega.”
“I should never have been head alpha.” John says. “Being an alpha is different from being a captain. It shouldn’t have been me.”
Kyle snorts. “He would have never agreed.”
“That delay might have saved us.”
“Or it would have made things worse.” Kyle says. “Shepherd wanted us to bond with her right away so his control over us would strengthen if he had to use that power. If those bonds weren’t put into place when they were, they might have tried to force it.”
“That would have only destabilized things further.” John says. Kyle isn’t wrong. Who knows what lengths they would have gone to, to ensure what they wanted would happen. “They were watching us from the start. They knew exactly how to play all of us.”
“Simon was right all along in his suspicions.” Kyle says, laying back down on the bed. Their shoulders are touching. It feels nice, having him close again. They’ve been close for the last few days, forced together by their sleeping arrangements, but it feels different now.
“He’ll be a better alpha than I ever could be.” John says quietly, almost speaking to himself.
“I think she will come to forgive you eventually.” Kyle says, turning his head to look at John. “You just have to give her time. A lot of time. You have to figure out how to prove yourself worthy of that forgiveness.”
“I want to take her to the beach.” John says. “Once she’s recovered.”
“If she recovers.” Kyle had pieced together the worry in Christine’s voice combined with her words. They all had.
“She will.” John says, sliding his hand across the sheets. “She’s a tough little thing. She’s not going to give up just like that.”
“I hope you’re right.” Kyle says. He doesn’t pull away as John’s fingers brush his hand.
“I may not have the best track record with being right currently, but I’m confident in her and her strength.” John turns his head to look at Kyle in the darkness. The storm is calming outside, the wind dying down and the rain lightening. “She’s stronger than all of us combined.”
The corners of Kyle’s lips twitch. “You are right about that.”
It smells good.
There’s a rich scent in the air as you begin to wake. It smells like Christmas, like spices and citrus. Warm gingerbread and cider. Freshly squeezed orange juice on Christmas morning just like every year. It had been your favorite, though you never understood the lengths your mother went to, the early morning and the hours spent in the kitchen on Christmas slaving away to make everything perfect. Everyone got something they wanted, something they loved. You never appreciated that effort until now.
Oranges. Spices. Warmth.
You know that scent.
It’s hot in the room, sweat soaking your skin as you lay on your right side. Heat surrounds you like a cocoon, just like the scent. Warm and soft and too much. You try to wiggle out from under the blankets but you can’t move, so instead you shuffle them off. Some of them hit the floor with soft plops, the others just barely hanging on the side of the bed, trapped under your body. You’re still stuck, still hot as you lay there, a comforting weight around you. The scent floods your nose, fills your body with a pleasant feeling as you lay there, breathing through your nose. Oranges, spices, warmth.
Someone is baking a pie.
It smells good. You want to bury yourself in it, press yourself into that scent until it’s the only thing you can smell. It brings you a comfort you didn’t realize you were missing. Something fills your chest, a weight beginning to press down inside of you.
Your hair sticks to your face as you lay there, tempted to get up and see who is baking and why. There’s weight pressing down on you from the outside as well. You can’t move. You’re stuck.
The weight around you moves.
No, it’s not pie.
It’s Johnny.
That’s why you know the scent. That’s why it feels so familiar, so comforting. It’s Johnny. Johnny is pressed up against your back, his arm tossed over your waist. That’s why it’s so hot, his body putting off warmth like a heater.
You should be angry at the breach of your clearly placed barriers. You should be upset that he would come in here and just climb in bed like this. You should be pissed that one of them would try something like this after your outburst yesterday.
You shouldn’t be crying.
Not out of relief.
Oh how you missed this.
Something begins to throb in your chest as you lay there, crying quietly in Johnny’s arms. Something begins to thrum deep within you, something you haven’t felt in weeks. Life? Hope? Happiness?
You should be upset.
You can’t be.
Johnny grunts quietly behind you, his arm leaving your waist as he stretches. He’s awake now, or maybe he hadn’t been at all and had been waiting for some sign of life, some movement from you, something to try and give him a hint at what you must be feeling. He doesn’t say anything, laying still as you sniffle in the silence. No one else is up yet, despite the blue light of dawn coming in through the gap in the curtain.
“Johnny?” You whisper, even the quiet sound hurting your sore throat. You’re thirsty, desperately so, but that’s a problem for later.
“It’s me, kitten.” He says hesitantly, the pet name making a sob tear from your throat.
“Johnny,” You cry, the tears falling in a cascade. You can’t stop them. You’ve lost complete control as you lay there sobbing. “Hold me.”
He doesn’t say anything else, his arms wrapping around you and tugging you close against his chest. He locks you in his embrace, holding you tightly against his chest as you cry. It feels good. Life and energy flows through you again for the first time in weeks. That empty space in your chest begins to fill slowly, warmth blossoming in your body despite the sweat soaking you both. Johnny offers no complaints as he presses his face into your hair.
How you missed this.
How you need this.
You seem more relaxed at dinner. Despite your angry outburst the day before, and your sudden illness, you look significantly less miserable than you did your first attempt at joining them for dinner. The yelling did a number on your throat, but even now it’s nothing compared to that first day. You’re having soup again, and this time there’s a side of mash and peas next to the bowl.
You even walked to the table without the crutch.
Simon sits beside you again, all of them taking their respective seats at the table. They’ve assigned themselves these seats, even when you don’t join them for a meal. You’re at the head of the table as you were the first time, Simon and Chrstine on either side of you. Kyle and Johnny are seated next to them, and John is across the table from you. You’ve been avoiding looking at him. You haven’t even so much as glanced up at him.
Simon is watching you carefully out of the corner of his eye, trying not to make it obvious. If you’ve noticed, you haven’t shown any disapproval. He’s ready in case he has to act fast again, but you are far more steady than you were that first time. There’s no tremble to your hand as you bring the spoon up to your mouth.
The others look happier than before too. Johnny has stopped crying. Not even a sniffle from him ever since this morning when he emerged from your room. None of them had said anything about it, though they have an inkling of what had happened, judging by Christine’s lack of reaction to it. Kyle looks happier too, sitting straighter like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It probably has, with the lightening of the mood. Whatever happened with Johnny this morning, it’s made a huge change already.
John has never been much of a religious man, but god bless Johnny for whatever magic he worked this morning.
You don’t even look feverish as you sit there, spooning soup into your mouth. A lingering low-grade fever, Christine had informed them earlier that afternoon, but significantly less concerning than things had been yesterday.
He’s glad to hear it. He’s always glad to hear Christine’s updates on how you’re doing, how well you’re healing, at least physically. The body heals easily. Mentally...there’s still a long way to go. Healing physically will help mentally, but with all the trauma, years and years of trauma, it’s going to take a long time to heal from that.
The clink of your spoon in your bowl draws him from his thoughts and he glances up at you.
“Getting full?” Christine asks as you take a sip of your water, wincing slightly as you swallow it.
“Can I have some tea?” You ask.
“Sure,” Christine says, going to push her chair back, but John is already standing.
“I’ll make some.” He says, not offering any room for argument as he turns his back on the table to head for the kettle.
You’ve been drinking more tea lately, likely to soothe your throat. He never thought he’d see the day, given your determination to stand with Johnny on the side of coffee. It’s a bit late for coffee, but he does know it wouldn’t keep you awake in the slightest. You love your sleep, as most omegas do, and nothing will get in the way of it. Not even some late evening caffeine.
He sets mugs out on a tray, deciding to make tea for everyone. At least that way it’ll make it seem less targeted at you. He’s not doing it to try and impress you or win your affections back. He just wants to help take the load off of Christine’s shoulders. She’s done so much for you, for all of them, already.
He steeps the tea before bringing the mugs to the table along with some milk and sugar. He knows at least Simon and Kyle will drink some, and he will as well. He brings the kettle over, filling the mugs with tea. All of them sit there watching him, waiting tensely for what will happen next. Will you take the mug of tea he offers? Or will you refuse. Even if you threw it in his face, it wouldn’t make him mad. It would be horribly painful, yes, but he would deserve it.
Perhaps him doing this was a mistake.
He stares at the sugar and milk as he grabs one of the mugs. Do you like sugar or milk in your tea? He’s not sure. He doesn’t even know how you take your tea. He knows you like creamer in your coffee. But how do you take your tea?
What a sad excuse of a human being he is.
You don’t look at him as he sets the mug next to your water glass. You’re still eating your soup, your hand trembling just slightly now. Your scent is tainted still, a whiff of it filling his nose. Displeasure, a hint of burning anger.
This was a mistake.
He sets the milk and sugar next to you first, letting you finish making your tea. He won’t push that boundary and risk making it wrong. It would only add fuel to the fire, make it more obvious that he knows and cares so little for you. He doesn’t even know how you take your tea.
He takes his seat again as the others help themselves to the tea, even Johnny taking a mug. Whether he’s doing it because he wants to make the moment feel less awkward, or because he genuinely wants some, John will never know.
He made a mistake in doing that.
Still, despite the awkwardness, it felt good to do that.
Maybe that’s how they get closer to you.
The little things, things that take some of the pressure off Christine. She has to be getting tired, going nonstop all day. Anything they can do to help, they should. Things seemed to go well with Johnny, so maybe the others can have some success in their attempts to gain your favor once more.
John will have to stay away for now. Distance is what you need from him.
That’s alright. He has other things he can do.
He tries to hide the small grin on his face as you pick up the mug, taking a sip of the tea.
They’re fighting.
You stand at the back door watching them throw punches. They’re solid punches, nothing held back, no pulling them. They’re all breathing heavily, two of them watching the other two fight.
Simon’s fist meets Kyle’s shoulder, Kyle’s fist going for Simon’s head but he’s too fast, ducking before he drives his shoulder into Kyle’s stomach. Kyle hits the grass, disappearing from your view.
John steps forward, pulling Simon back and speaking to him, but you can’t hear from this distance.
“Still out there?” Dr. Keller asks, stepping up beside you.
“Yep.” You say, watching as Johnny takes Kyle’s place against Simon.
“John did say it would be good for them.” Dr. Keller says, wincing as Johnny’s fist hits Simon’s ribs.
“They’re gonna start a real fight.” You say, watching as Simon starts to get more aggressive. You can tell because you’ve been in that position before. You’ve seen when that switch starts to flip, when the alpha starts to take over. He was never this aggressive with you, but perhaps even his alpha could be rational given your obvious size and strength difference.
And the fact you’re an omega.
“Well, that’s their problem.” Dr. Keller says. “As long as they keep it out there.”
“They might make you patch them up afterwards.” You say.
She lets out a snort. “There’s ice packs in the freezer and a first aid kit in the bathroom.”
You try to hide your smile as you watch John get in between Johnny and Simon, speaking to Simon again. Maybe it will be good for them to get some of that pent up energy out. They’re all used to being so active and always having something to do. Being stuck inside has to be driving them stir-crazy. Simon has been going on runs in the morning, and you know John has been going on walks every so often.
You’re starting to feel a bit stir-crazy yourself. It’s taking you back to the days shut up in the barracks, unable to go anywhere or do anything, having to entertain yourself for hours while they were gone. At least there you had space and room to move around, even when you were being trailed, one of them constantly following you around. They might not be hovering quite as obviously here, but it still feels suffocating, like you can’t truly have a moment to yourself.
“I want to go for a walk.” You say, shifting on your feet. The likelihood of you going very far is slim, at least right now.
How far you’ve fallen from your running days.
“I suppose you could go for a little walk.” Dr. Keller gives you a sideways glance. “Might be good to help get your strength back. I doubt they’d let us go without one of them, though.”
“Probably not.” You agree, knowing they won’t even let you sit out on the porch without one of them watching. If you left the house without even telling one of them, all hell would break loose and you’d be condemned to your room once more.
The thought makes you wince.
You almost wish you could go out there and throw some punches at one of them. That might make you feel a bit better. Hell, line them all up and you’ll take turns beating the crap out of all of them. Maybe that might heal some of the anger and pain still stuck inside of you.
That’s an idea for a different day, though.
It’s oddly warm out today, or at least that’s what Ashley said. Soon the weather will turn, though, and the cold rain will come. Lots of rain.
Your eyes flick between Ashley and Dr. Keller. The three of you are seated in a circle around a table outside, steaming mugs of tea in front of you. Neither of them are staring at you, instead focused on each other as Ashley speaks.
Dr. Keller has a crush.
It’s not hard to tell. Her eyes are focused on Ashley, a smile tugging at her lips. Her gaze only flicks to you when you shift and move in your seat before she’s staring at Ashley again. You can’t blame her. You can hardly bring yourself to look away from Ashely too.
It makes you almost miss Kyle.
They have the same soft brown eyes and the same bright smile. They’re both perfect, like they were chiseled out of marble and brought to life. They even laugh the same, a genuine chuckle coming right from the chest.
It makes you want to laugh, even if you have no clue what was being said.
How has Kyle been handling this? You’ve hardly paid him any mind. His connection to John puts him too close to the source of your anger and rage and pain. Johnny cries, Simon is a brick wall, John reeks of guilt and misery. Kyle...you don’t know. He’s been a blank spot, a hazy figure in the distance.
It almost makes you feel bad. You’ve completely cut him off, isolated him. Has he cried? Has he been sulking? How miserable does he feel about everything? Does he feel guilty or miserable at all? He has to. They all do.
Good. You think. They deserve it.
“You do get stuck in your head, huh?”
Your gaze snaps up, looking between Dr. Keller and Ashley. They’re both staring at you quietly, a small smile on Ashley’s face. You did get lost in your thoughts again, stuck in your ruminations as you usually do. Lately it hasn’t been a problem, as you’re alone or with Dr. Keller often. You’re supposed to be thinking and processing. It just happens at the worst times.
Simon would hate it still.
“Something specific on your mind?” Dr. Keller asks.
You probably shouldn’t say anything. How would you explain how your mind went from Dr. Keller crushing on Ashley to hoping the guys feel guilty? You’re not even sure you should reveal that you know about Dr. Keller’s crush, especially if she hasn’t said anything yet. You don’t think she has. They’re not...close in the way a couple would be, a distance still between them. Does Ashley feel the same way? It’s hard to tell since you don’t know her quite as well yet.
Maybe that can be your goal, besides healing. Something to focus on, something to distract from the constant emotions and pain. Get Ashley and Dr. Keller together.
They’d be perfect for each other.
“Not really.” You finally say, looking down at the book in your lap. You’re about halfway through it. It’s fine. Nothing to write home about.
“What do you think of the book?” Ashley asks, sensing your end to that discussion. She doesn’t push. You like that about her.
“It’s alright.” You shrug. “Kinda slow.”
“They are spending a lot of time on character development.” Dr. Keller says.
“We should keep a tally of how many times the phrase “his dark eyes” gets mentioned.” Ashley says, making you laugh.
“It’s good to hear you laugh.” Dr. Keller says, smiling at you.
“It...feels good to laugh again.” You say. “It’s nice to have something to laugh about.”
“Well then I’m going to make that my mission.” Ashley says, taking a sip of her tea. “Get you to laugh as much as possible.”
You don’t think you’ll mind that one bit.
“There’s something we need to talk about.”
You don’t turn to look as Dr. Keller sinks into the seat next to you. It’s raining again, the rain pattering against the window as you sit in front of it. They won’t let you go out in the rain.
“Something that is rather important.” She continues. “Something you should know.” She clears her throat, not waiting for a response. She knows she won’t get one. “When you told John that he left you there to be tortured...is that what Graves told you? Did he tell you they left you behind?”
Her words have something sinking in your stomach. Your insides are squirming, your intestines tying themselves in knots. You haven’t even thought about that. You’ve been so caught up in the emotions, swept up in the anger and devastation. The memories of what happened are still blurry, still stuck in the recesses while your body heals.
That pit in your stomach continues to drop as she stares at you, waiting for an answer.
You don’t want to answer.
“Hey,” She says softly, leaning to try and stay in your line of sight as your eyes begin to drop to the side. “We need to talk about this.” There’s a serious look on her face as your eyes slowly lift to stare at her again. “Do you believe they chose to leave you behind with Graves?”
Tears prick behind your eyes as you stare at her. Of course you do. Why wouldn’t they? They’ve left you behind so many times, what’s another? They don’t care that you were being tortured. They never cared that them leaving you before was like torture. Why would they waste the chance to go after Shepherd before he found a place to hide?
The job comes first.
“Yes.” You breathe, a tear sliding down your cheek. You want to say it, let all the thoughts rushing through your mind pour right out of your mouth but the tears choke you, keep you silent.
The serious mask on Dr. Keller’s face melts away to a sympathetic look. It doesn’t surprise you. It’s the look she often wears when she looks at you.
“Oh, honey.” She says, reaching out, but you withdraw yourself further away. “They didn’t leave you behind. They were doing everything they could to try and find where you were. John about blazed a path across the US to find you.”
You don’t want to believe it. It sounds too good to be true. Her words stir the bitter pot in your stomach, the anger at them and at yourself. You let yourself believe that they would care about you, but they led you to believe they cared. They left you so easily and you never said anything to them to try and keep them with you. They left you behind when they knew it was dangerous, and you believed Phil when he told you they had abandoned you.
Why would Phil tell you the truth? He wanted to torture you, wanted to take out his anger on you. It wasn’t your decision, nothing was your decision, but in the end the mark on your shoulder sealed your fate. You’d never belong to him. The more he could tear you and your pack down the better. The more hopeless you felt, the more you hated the members of your pack, the more satisfaction he would get.
He wanted to drive the wedge between your pack, and you fell for it.
Tears glide down your cheeks as you turn to face the window. They mirror the droplets of rain sliding down the glass. Your fingers curl against the fabric of the chair, your breaths starting to come in gasps as reality begins to settle in.
“You’re okay.” Dr. Keller says, kneeling next to the chair. “I was there with them, I saw just how desperate they were. They wouldn’t leave you like that. Trust me.”
Can you trust her? Can you trust any of them? Part of you would like to. The part of you that wants things to go back to the way they were, when things felt fine, when you still believed your pack loved you. Back when you could be delusional and believe something good could come of this entire situation.
Now you’re stuck with a pack that never wanted you. Now you’re stuck with the trauma of the last few weeks, trauma you should have never faced in the first place. Not if your pack truly cared about you. It was always a risk, but you always believed they would take care of you, they would keep you safe.
Now look at you.
A sob tears from your lips as you sit there, the thoughts quickly growing to be too much. Dr. Keller reaches for you but you pull away, pushing yourself up to stand. You move towards the bed, grabbing one of the plush pillows. You bring it to your face, letting out a long, muffled scream.
The scream dies in your throat as you jolt awake in bed. The book that had been in your hands when you fell asleep drops to the floor with a quiet thud as you jerk up into a seated position. You’re breathing heavily, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you try and calm your racing heart. It’s beating hard like it might beat right out of your chest. You’re shaking, your hands clutching at the baggy shirt you’re wearing like you’re trying to cling to some hope that it was all a dream, that you’re awake now and this is real life.
Sweat beads on your forehead as you sit there, shaking in the darkness. You need someone. The shadows are closing in around you, your nightlight unable to keep them completely away. You need someone to fight them back. You need someone to reassure you that it was all just a dream, someone that can wipe the tears streaming down your cheeks and whisper softly to you that it’s all okay. That it’s all over.
You need Kyle.
Where is Kyle? How do you get to him without waking the others? You could go upstairs but what if they think you’re an intruder? You don’t even know which room Kyle is in. You wish you had a phone. You wish you could call him. You wish you could just telepathically reach out and tell him you need him and only him.
You’ll wake them all anyway trying to find him.
You suck a breath in, your hands still shaking as they cling to your shirt. You have to do it. It’s the only way to get them all down here, to get Kyle down here.
You take a couple deep breaths before you scream.
Within seconds the house is alive, footsteps racing across the living room towards your room as others thud from above.
The overhead light stings your eyes, forcing them closed. It’s too bright, intrusive even with your eyes pinched closed. You can still see it behind your eyelids, harsh and too artificial. Just a price you have to pay to get what you need.
Dr. Keller’s hands are soft as they peel your hands off your shirt, your fingers trembling with nothing to hold on to. They open and close, seeking out something to grip, something to give you an anchor to reality. You’re still panicking, your breaths shaky as you shit there, trembling in fear.
“You’re alright,” She tries to soothe you, brushing your sweaty hair back. “It was just a dream.”
You wish it was.
“Kyle.” The name comes out as barely a whisper, stuttering out of your trembling lips.
“What was that, sweetie?” Dr. Keller asks, leaning in closer.
“Kyle.” You whisper louder now, the name shaky in the tense silence of the room.
“Kyle,” Dr. Keller repeats, standing up straight.
Quiet, hesitant footsteps approach the bed. Your eyes are still pinched closed against the harsh overhead light. You can’t bring yourself to be brave enough to open them, to face that harsh light. It might reveal the truth, that it was all just a dream, that this is still just a dream.
It might not be Kyle approaching the bed at all.
You can’t know. You don’t want to know. You’re afraid to open your eyes.
There’s a click as the lamp is turned on. You still can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. It’s supposed to be comforting, the soft light, but it could be used against you, giving you a false sense of hope and security.
You flinch as the overhead light is turned on, still too afraid to open your eyes. Your hands have closed around the blanket pooled at your waist, gripping it so tightly your fingers are aching. It’s real. You’re touching it, you can feel the texture of it in your hands. It’s real.
It’s real.
Your breaths are shaky as you breathe in and out, trying to catch a scent. Any scent. Something to tell you that you’re really awake, that it really is Kyle standing next to the bed.
“I’m here.” A soft voice says, something hovering in the air next to you.
Kyle.
You know that voice. You’d know it anywhere.
You finally crack your eyes open, tears brimming as you turn your head to look up. Kyle is standing there awkwardly next to the bed, his hand raised as if he was reaching out to comfort you, but thought better of it. You’re glad he did. You might have spiraled into another panic if he’d touched you before you knew it was him.
You stare at his hand for a moment before you peel one of your hands away from the blanket. Your hand is shaky as you lift it, reaching out towards his own trembling fingers.
His fingers are warm and rough, just as you remember as they close around yours. You’re still shaking, a cold sweat forming on your skin as fear trickles down your spine.
What if this is a dream? What if this isn’t real?
“I’m here.” He says, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles.
You want to believe him. You really do.
You pull his hand closer, pressing your cheek against it. His skin is warm against your cheek, and like Johnny, he makes no complaints about your sweat smearing on his skin. You’ve been that close to them before, sweat mixing together, slicking skin. How far things have fallen since then.
Your tears drip onto his skin as you hold him there, just breathing him in for a moment. He smells like the sea, but with that soft, light scent underneath. You missed that scent, more than you realize you did.
You let out a quiet sound as you rub your cheek against his hand, almost like you’re trying to embed his scent under your skin.
He doesn’t say anything as you lean against his hand, tears still streaming down your face. The lamp is pushing some of the darkness away, but it’s not enough. It’s never enough. You can still feel the eyes from the dark corners of the room, the shadowy figures just out of view threatening to reach out and tear you away.
A shudder runs down your spine, your fingers squeezing around Kyle’s in what has to be a painful grip.
“I’m here.” He says again, pulling you from the dark thoughts plaguing your mind. He’d know if someone was here. He’d know if anything threatening was nearby.
It’s his job.
The job.
The thing that’s kept you so separated from them, kept you at a distance. The thing that put your life in danger, that exposed them all as liars. The thing that’s left you an empty shell.
Maybe having him down here was a mistake.
But the shadows...
You tug on his hand, pulling him closer to the bed. He sinks down on the edge carefully, still a bit hesitant. You don’t blame him. It’s not like you’ve been the most welcoming of them. For good reason.
You need him right now. That need for safety and security far outweighs the conflicting emotions battling in your brain right now.
“Stay.” You say, the word tumbling out from your trembling lips.
“You’re sure?” He asks, his thumb still stroking your knuckles. You’re not sure if he even knows he’s doing it.
You nod, tugging him closer as you scoot over in bed. He lets you guide him, laying on top of the covers.
You try not to think about it too much.
It’s nice having him close. The shadows don’t seem quite as dark, the threats in them silent now that he’s here. He’ll keep you safe. He’ll protect you from the silent threats. That’s why you want him. That’s his role to play in all of this. They all have roles, they all have their places in the pack. They all have a part to play, not just for you but for each other.
They’ve been struggling.
They’re struggling because you’re struggling.
The silence is loud as you lay there listening to the hum of electricity. You’re not quite sure what to say, how to break the silence. What is there to say that you haven’t already conveyed by your silence? What is there to say beyond what you’ve conveyed in your anger? They all heard your outburst, they all know the source of your anger and what they did to cause it.
What’s left to say when you have nothing tying you together anymore except a claim and a half-broken bond? What is there to say when saying the wrong thing might fray that bond even more than it already has been?
“I’m sorry.” Kyle says, finally breaking the tense silence.
Of course he’d start with that.
You let out a huff, turning on your side to face away from him. “I know you all are. You don’t have to keep saying it.”
He lets out a sigh. He knows it. He’s not apologizing to you, for you. “Nothing can change what we did and we know that. We just...want you to know that we’ll do whatever it takes to help you and support you. We don’t want to push that boundary too far, but we’re all here if you need us.”
You let out a hum. You already know that too. That’s why Johnny came so willingly, that’s why he stayed. That’s why they all tiptoe around you and stare at you like you’re a wild animal that may strike at any moment.
Part of you wishes they wouldn’t.
Part of you wants to go back to the way things were. Part of you wants to pretend that everything is normal again, that you love them and they love you just as much. You want to go back to that comfortable, seamless flow of one around the other, the way they all moved in sync, aware of each other without even needing to look. You want to insert yourself into that flow again and let them guide you along with them. You want to trust them blindly again and know they’d catch you if you fall.
They proved they won’t though. They proved you can’t trust them to catch you. You’re on your own again, forced to catch yourself, forced to save yourself. You have to make that rope to catch yourself with.
Yet, a deeper part of you yearns for that connection. Your omega screams for it, for your alpha, for your pack. You want them back with you, you want the bonds to heal and to be stronger than they were before. You want them to do as they said and prove to you that they’ve changed, that they're putting you first.
The omega should be first. The omega should be the center. The omega should be the sun they gravitate towards, revolve around.
That’s what the book said. That book that’s sitting on your desk in the barracks. That book you read over and over, convincing yourself that it was true and they were a good pack like that book said.
They’re not.
We all make mistakes.
They’ve never had an omega before. How are they supposed to know how to have an omega in their pack if they’ve never had one before? None of them came from big packs. John is the only one who’s ever even dated an omega before. They’re just as new at this as you are.
You probably know more than them.
You spent years learning how to be an omega in a pack. You read the books and wrote the essays and did the research. You read that book.
Simon read that book too.
Yet he did nothing.
“Why did you want me?” Kyle asks softly, pulling you from your ruminations.
You turn your head to look at him, staring into those soft brown eyes. Brown eyes you’ve missed. Tears trail down your cheeks as you stare at him, wetting the paths of the ones that had slowed to a stop in your rumination.
Why did you want him and not Johnny?
Johnny was the one that came for you, that comforted you, that got you through your fever. Johnny was the one you asked to hold you, to give you that support you’ve been so desperately clawing for.
So why did you ask for Kyle?
You turn onto your back again so you’re laying side by side, your shoulder brushing his. He’s warm, and you just want to nuzzle into him and never let him go again.
Another tear slides down your face as you stare at him, at that concerned look on his face. “I need you to tell me it’s going to be okay.”
That concern morphs into understanding as he shifts slightly, reaching out for you. You let him, you let his thumb brush the tear sliding down your cheek away. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just staring at you as you lay there in the warm light of the lamp. The shadows don’t seem so close now, so threatening with him here. The things that lay in the darkness waiting for you to sleep so they can seep into your mind and stir up the horrible memories lying there in wait are at bay for now, fought off just simply by his existence in this room.
His thumb continues to brush your cheek, your skin tingling along the path it follows. “It’s going to be okay.” He says softly, quietly.
You’re not sure if he’s convincing you of that or himself, or perhaps both. You don’t know what he’s feeling, what he’s been feeling. You’ve been ignoring him, pushing him away out of fear that if you looked too closely, you’d break down. That bond will never break between the two of you, held tight with steel simply because of that claim your alpha and his alpha has on the both of you. No matter how much you hate John, that bond can’t be broken. It can’t be cut. It can’t go away. It can’t be denied. Not completely.
A small smile tugs at Kyle’s lips, a reassuring smile. His words are stronger this time, spoken with more conviction and surety, like he’s speaking it into existence, manifesting it for the future when things perhaps can be different.
When things are better.
“It’s going to be okay.” He says, cupping your cheek, staring right into your eyes as he speaks. “We’re going to be okay.”
NEXT ->
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#call of duty#call of duty fic#poly 141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#tf 141 x reader#Johnny mactavish x reader#soap x reader#Kyle Garrick x reader#gaz x reader#John price x reader#captain price x reader#Simon Riley x reader#Ghost x reader#a/b/o#alpha/beta/omega#omegaverse
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Controversially Young Girlfriend
Hugh Jackman x popstar!reader
series masterlist & main masterlist
summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men.
warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns.
warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. i do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything! <33
authors note: this is an idea I had that I really needed to write. I’d love to make this a series if you guys want more, just let me know! This is only my second time writing fanfiction and my first time writing for Hugh, please be nice lol. Thank you for reading! <3
Part one: breakup and new beginnings
Being a young girl living in the middle of bumfuck nowhere made it seem impossible to live your dreams of becoming a singer. You grew up in a tiny little town in Louisiana called Minden. With a population of less than 15,000 people, the closest ‘big’ city being Shreveport, growing up was pretty boring. You had big dreams of making it big and making it the fuck out of the country. Minden wasn’t always so bad. It was a nice community that had fun things here and there, but you craved more.
Once you graduated highschool back in 2020, you focused on working and saving as much money as you could, only buying essentials and equipment to help make music. You took a few online classes on producing and tried your best to make whatever song was bouncing around in your head come to life. It took a year for you to feel confident enough to release your first few songs out into the world. So in July of 2021, you teased a song on TikTok to your small following. You started to gain a few more followers here and there, it was exciting. At the end of August, you released your first song titled ‘to the point’ and it blew up on the clock app. You gained a hefty following after that, on the brink of hitting one million.
By the end of 2022, deciding on Los Angeles, you had finally saved enough money to move, so you were packing your bags and heading out. Your agent was ecstatic about the move because it meant more opportunities for your career. After releasing a few more songs over the past year, you hired Stacy to help you manage everything.
Fastwording to 2024, your dreams have come true and you have been an established and respected artist for almost two years. You started to build a reputation as someone who was dedicated and passionate about their craft- always being involved in any creative process. It was bliss. Lately though, you’ve gained another reputation, the controversial young girlfriend, a whore, a gold digger. Since you’ve been in the spotlight, you’ve had your fair share of dating history and if they all happened to be older men, so what? It wasn’t something you had planned on but older men were just built differently. They were so much sexier and put together than the guys your age. They knew what they were doing and how to treat a woman right. You were so tired of being asked out through instagram direct messages, you wanted someone who wasn’t afraid to talk to you in person, and that seemed to only come from men twice your age. You weren’t complaining though, you enjoyed it.
Your last ‘scandalous’ relationship ended up being far more public than you intended it to be. In the beginning, the men you were seen with were never anything serious, just dates or one night stands. Though with Pedro it was different. You dated him for six months before it all came crashing down and you felt heartbroken. He was the sweetest man you’d ever been with and it all ended because the hate from fans on our age gap was too much for him. It was an ugly breakup and you were positive that he wouldn’t want to be associated with you anymore, even as friends.
-
“I should have picked a different song.” You huff in frustration. Today you were going to be performing on BBC’s Radio 1 Live Lounge and as requested, you'd be performing your own song and a cover of your choosing. When Stacy first presented this opportunity to you, it had only been a month after your recent breakup and naturally you chose to cover ‘THE GREATEST’ by Billie Eilish. Now that you were mostly over Pedro, the song seemed silly to sing and you weren’t feeling as vocally confident now that you were here.
“Babe, you’re gonna kill it! Just let your emotions flow, give the fans what they want.” Stacy is sitting across the room as she comforts you. She’s fidgeting with your vocal humidifier, attempting to put it together before you start warming up. Her advice isn’t terrible, she’s right. You’d been pretty silent on the subject matter, steering clear of social media so you wouldn’t say anything stupid. Rumors of your breakup had been all over the headlines but there hasn’t been confirmation from either of you. Singing this song today would definitely stir the pot again and make everyone realize that it is done between you two.
“You’re right.”
“As always. Here, start warming up the money maker.” She laughs while handing you the humidifier.
“I really hope he doesn’t watch it. I’d literally smash my head into a brick wall out of embarrassment…”
Placing the humidifier over your mouth and nose, you sit there letting your mind wander. Having your personal life exposed to everyone really sucked and hiding your boyfriends wasn’t something you wanted to do, but you knew that in the future it was something that would have to happen.
“I think I’m taking a break from men.” You let out proudly, glancing over at Stacy.
“Whatever you say girl.” You could hear the doubt lingering in her tone and the roll of her eyes.
“Ugh… You don’t believe me do you? I can totally break off from men and be my own person for once.”
“I’m not trying to doubt you babe. It’s just…You tend to attract men like a magnet and you have some severe daddy issues.” She's typing away on her laptop as if she didn’t just completely disrespect you.
“I don’t have daddy issues.” You say flatly. “I happen to have a very loving father who was always present in my life, so the whole dating older men thing does NOT stem from daddy issues. Thank you very much.” You say matter of factly.
“Hm..Well I give it a week.”
-
After a few sound checks for your mic and band, you perform your first song. You chose a more upbeat song off your debut album to start, given that you were about to lay your heart out of the line. It was honestly kind of awkward performing in this setting. There was a booth in front of you that had the sound board and all of the other electronic stuff that you didn’t understand. Then right to the left of that, the cameras were positioned with a group of crew members sitting behind them. It always felt awkward performing to smaller audiences.
The first song went by smoothly, earning a few cheers from the people in the room. As the band prepared for the next song, you could see the door in the booth open and two figures walk in. You weren’t wearing your glasses or contacts since it was supposed to be a short day, so you really couldn’t make out who had just walked in. You assumed more workers came in and brushed it off.
“All ready?” A man behind the camera asks and you give a thumbs up.
You somehow managed to get through the song without having any vocal mess ups. It was a challenging song and you'd definitely have to text Billie later to give her some credit. A few tears slipped here and there, feeling the emotions that you thought were gone slowly be released. You pulled yourself together and you felt really proud of the performance as a whole, showing the world the potential your voice had.
A few soft claps are dying out as everyone starts cleaning up the room. You’re reaching down to grab your water bottle when you feel someone rushing up towards you.
“Ahhh you did great babe but um two hot dudes will be walking through that door any second!” Stacy is whispering and all you could do was give her a confused look before the door opens. You squint trying to make out the two figures.
“God you’re talented!” You hear the voice before you see the face.
“Oh um, thank you so much.” You let out not really sure who you were speaking to. Once the two men get into view, your jaw drops slightly.
“HOLY SHIT!” You yell a little too loudly. Slapping your hand over your mouth, you hear a very rich man laugh coming from a very good looking man. For some reason, whoever is in charge of the fate of the universe has blessed you with the presence of Ryan Reynalds and Hugh Jackaman.
“Oh my god i’m so sorry, that’s literally so embarrassing. I just couldn’t see who you were at first.”
“It’s okay sweetheart.” They both wear big smiles on their faces.
“I’m y/n, it’s so nice to meet y’all, i’m a big fan!” You gush out, trying your best to refrain from fangirling.
“We’re big fans as well. We were next door interviewing for the radio show, when we heard you were recording over here. We ran over here to try to catch you.” Ryan lets out.
“No shit! That’s so cool. I really appreciate it.” Before the conversation could continue, Ryan is being called over by someone, leaving Hugh and yourself alone.
“Hows Pedro, haven't seen him in awhile.” Hugh asks genuinely, giving you a small smile. It caught you off guard completely. You racked your brain trying to think of a time in your six month relationship that Pedro mentioned Hugh at all but nothing came up.
“Oh I uh- I wouldn’t know. We aren’t together anymore.” Your voice is soft, trying not to make this any more awkward.
“Shit. I’m so sorry, with the way he spoke about you, I thought you’d be together longer…” He trails off.
“Yea me too.. he couldn’t handle the heat I guess.” You shrug.
“Well, his loss yea?” He smiles trying to cheer you up.
“Yea..” You say softly, your voice matching your smile. You take a moment to really look at him and he’s beyond handsome. He’s aged but in a way that makes you wish you were able to see the years go by with him. He was tall, almost towering over you, and his muscles were practically popping out of his shirt.
The same guy that was walking to Ryan, gathers the three of you for a picture for the BBC socials. You stand in the middle, both men placing their arms behind either side of you. Hugh’s hand was placed on the small of your back. You looked up at him quickly, his face already smiling at the camera. You hear the camera go off a few times, causing you to look that way as well. Once the cameraman was satisfied, everyone gave their goodbyes and the room cleared out.
-
Later that night you were scrolling through your phone when a text popped up from Stacy.
Stacypoo <33: I told you. You couldn’t even go a week. ;)
The text is accompanied by a screenshot of a notification stating that “‘thehughjackman’ started following you!”. You rushed to open instagram and went to your followers to search from his name. You stared at his page for a few minutes before following him back.
While you had control over your own social media, someone handled all of your business related content. You went on your page to see that the picture that was taken at BBC earlier today was already posted with one comment standing out beyond the rest.
Thehughjackman: Great meeting you sweetheart! :)
Thank you for reading <3
part two
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