#and i am writing a fic about them myself
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kiivg · 4 months ago
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.😐.
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crimsonmonsoon · 28 days ago
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Some Knockout and Breakdown from last month <3 They're my favorite married couple, ofc.
(slowly catching my blog up to my current art. Rip it is an endeavor)
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arttsuka · 8 months ago
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I LOVE Teen Stan and Ford, it’s sad they don’t get drawn enough, so thank you so much!
Does Ford ever help Stan when he gets overstimulated? Or maybe when he has a rage response and suddenly starts crying and calls himself stupid?
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Here's the other post with Ford
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necrotic-nephilim · 9 months ago
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@sasheneskywalker i love when you enable me to ramble about things because oh my god do i have thoughts.
so recently, i made a post discussing the phenomena of DC x DP and DC x MLB crossovers and why they exist and part of that post was discussing how largely speaking, at least half, if not more of the Batfamily fandom doesn't read the comics. if they interact with canon DC material, it's adaptations that are their own sequestered universes and oftentimes not remotely comic accurate or seeking to be. the most obvious example is the Young Justice cartoon. i'm adding a cut to this post because it just got so long i'm so sorry.
a lot of times, when people are discussing the "why" of this oversaturation of fanon-only fandom, they blame Wayne Family Adventures. and i think, to a point, i agree WFA is responsible for a boom in this fandom. but as someone who's been in the fandom long before we had WFA, to me it's the other way around. WFA was DC's way of meeting the demand for this easy-to-get-into, easy-to-consume content about the Batfamily that predicates itself on the comics just enough to be vaguely the same characters, but has a more sitcom, slice-of-life sort of vibe so DC could profit off of this section of the fanbase that otherwise wasn't consuming its primary material. and well, it's definitely worked. not only that, but i have a weird theory that the decline in the MCU also led to the rise in the Batfamily fandom. when you consider the fan content that made the MCU popular within fandom, it's that 2012 "they all live in Avengers Tower and Thor is eating poptarts and Clint is in the vents and there are movie nights every Friday" sort of vibe. those were the fics that were a hallmark of the fandom. and as the MCU has strayed from well... quality content in general, but specifically well-thought-out crossover content where characters can have their own arcs but also exist in a wider story where they clearly care about each other, that fandom was sort of homeless. so where do you go, if you like a superhero found family where you can have villains for angst but also stick them all in one big family-like home for silly crack and have a plethora of options for gay ships? well. you go to the Batfamily. if you write a crack/fluff Batfamily genfic with silly vibes and low stakes instead of say, a fic about a very specific comic issue even if it's a popular comic, you're *going* to get more traction for the former. because the fanbase largely just isn't reading the comics.
and i feel... complicated about this. because on one hand, Don't Like Don't Read has been a tenet of my fandom experience. i'm very pro-fandom and that includes fandom content i don't like. and to an extent, i do think this sort of should apply to Batfamily fanon. i enjoy having my moments with other comic purists, giggling over exceptionally painful OOC headcanons or even facepalming in pain over some content but it is on me to not interact with that content. you don't make fandom a better place by being hostile to fans who engage with canon in ways you don't approve of. and frankly? we as comic readers are not going to get non-comic fans to read the comics by being asshats to them. no one is going to want to pick up any comic if we get a superiority complex about it. and also, i feel like we're all lying to ourselves a little bit insisting comics are so, so easy to get into. they're not. we can just all agree, they're really not. i've been single-handedly helping my sister get into comics, specifically Wonder Woman and no matter how simple i make it, i watch her get frustrated trying to understand what pre-Crisis and post-Crisis and New-52 and Flashpoint and all these things mean and what a retcon vs a reboot is and what a Crisis Event is and what the hell Diana's current backstory even *is*. sure, you can give someone a beginner list of comics to start with and slowly dip their toes in the water but sooner or later, *something* is going to confuse them. comics as a medium straight up aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. and if someone *just* wants to read silly fluffy fanfiction about the Batfamily, i can't entirely begrudge them for not wanting to take the hours and hours out of their day to understand this medium. it's not an accessible medium to get into. "read this and this, but this run is out of print and this run wasn't collected in trades at all but also make sure you read that event in order and this is a good comic but the backstory in it is retconned and you *have* to read this it's so important but it's also really bad because the author kind of sucks" sounds. ridiculous for someone who like. just wants to read some stuff about Nightwing. sometimes, we all make reading comics sort of sound like a chore, not a hobby.
so my point is, i do extend some grace to Batfamily fanon for existing. i think my biggest gripe is, as i said in my other post, misuse of tags (if you're not creating content about comics, maybe you don't need the comics fandom tag on Ao3, just the all media types umbrella tag) and my far bigger gripe: when panels are taken out of context to support fanon only headcanons. if i could impart *anything* onto the Batfamily fandom as a comic fan it'd be this: if you haven't *read* the comic, don't spread the panel. if you don't even know what comic it's *from*, don't spread the panel. it's fine to use comic panels to discuss your headcanons, but so often i see someone spreading a comic panel from a comic they haven't read, and when asked where it's from, they can't source it. a silly example that comes to mind is a post going around, taking a panel where Dick, in his internal monologue goes "here comes the sun. do do do do." and the post is claiming it's from him getting buried alive. when that panel comes from Nightwing (1996) #140, and he gets buried alive in Nightwing (1996) #127, two completely different moments frankensteined together. if you're going to not read the comics, that's completely fine, but unless you're sure of the source and the context, panels shouldn't be spread around. i'm sick of this specifically happening to Red Robin (2009), with ppl claiming Tim has totally killed people because he blew up some of Ra's' bases, when those panels within context, make it clear he gave everyone time to escape. and in a later arc in that very comic, Tim grapples with the idea of murdering Captain Boomerang, and *specifically chooses not to*, because he doesn't agree with murder, even against the person who has hurt him the most. if you'd like to write fanfiction where Tim is pro-murder and has done some sketch things, i'm totally on board and would probably like to read it. but there's no need to pretend it's canon from a few panels you saw out of context.
beyond that, i think it's not *entirely* correct to say that fanon is harmless. whenever i see very WFA-positive posts, they often default to the argument that WFA is fun and silly, and comic fans are killjoys for not liking it. which. i think is complicated because the issue is, WFA and fanon don't exist in a vacuum. if you like WFA power to you, i don't think it's the worst thing ever, but i do think it's degrading to these characters because honestly? they feel incompetent in the webtoon. it's one thing if WFA was solely a slice-of-life sort of deal, just having silly episodes where Bruce is taking on a PTA mom or they're all fighting for the last cookie. but when WFA attempts to take on more serious plots with these characters, it *fundamentally* falls flat in understanding them. i get it, Bruce comforting Jason having a panic attack because a noise reminded him of the crowbar felt cute in a microcosm, but i'm so serious when i say that storyline destroyed how like. half of this fandom understands Jason Todd's relationship to his trauma. it doesn't understand how he reacts when he's triggered, what coping mechanisms he seeks out, and how he would handle Bruce comforting him. even if i can believe for a brief moment Jason *would* be triggered by something like that, him running and trying to hide and then getting a hug from Bruce to make it okay is just. painful. WFA needs everything to be wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow. so even when it starts to tackle interesting concepts, it makes them fall flat with its need to be soft, low stakes, hurt/comfort. there was a two-parter episode that dealt with the complicated mutual hatred/jealousy between Tim and Damian that *almost* really interested me because for once, it felt like the webtoon wanted to explore canon messy dynamics. but of course, it had to be fixed with one conversation and a hug. you don't mend the *years* of issues these characters have like that. WFA isn't in character because these characters are hyperbole cartoonified versions of themselves to fit within the medium and be a cute happy family.
because that right there, is the crux of it. the Batfamily fanon seeks to simplify the Batfamily and force them into a nuclear family. there are so many fantastic posts on here discussing how the nuclear family-ification of the Batfam is eroding decades worth of complex histories so i won't go too far into that. but what i will say is that there's this need, in the Batfamily fandom, for the Batfamily to exist as a unit. they are a *family*. (honestly i think calling it the Batfamily is a misnomer and has been for years but we're in too deep now.) they exist to each other first, and any teams or friends they have come secondary to this family unit. you can *specifically* see this demonstrated in what headcanons are becoming popular these days. i have an entire lengthy meta in my drafts about how i *loathe* the "the Batfamily meets the Justice League" genre of fanfic because it makes no *sense*. in order to have this genre of fic exist, you must operate under the assumption that no one in the League, or adjacent to the League, knows the Batfamily exists and are thus utterly shocked to discover Batman has kids. and to make *that* work, you have to strip *every single Batfamily member* of such important dynamics and friendships so you can lock them all in Gotham for their whole lives. Dick can't have the Titans, Tim can't have Young Justice, Duke & Cass can't have the Outsiders, Jason can't have the Outlaws, Damian can't have the Supersons, Babs can't have the Birds of Prey, and so on. because if they had these relationships, they would be known to the League. the Batfamily fandom doesn't care about this, it's just "silly fanfiction", it's not trying to be serious. but how can you say you like Dick Grayson as a character if you don't understand the Titans *are* his family? at some points of his life, moreso than the Batfamily even is. it is constantly repeated to us in most comics with Dick how much the Titans mean to him. he *needs* them to be who he is. the same extends to every other Batfamily member, most of which have been full League members at this point. but in fanon, that doesn't matter. the Batfamily are a sequestered unit first, and all of those side relationships are secondary and easy to toss away, if it makes your fanfic work better.
and because they have to be a unit first, you have these forced relationships that dump years of actual canon material for the sake of making them get along. the Batfamily fandom has its favorites and well. it's no secret it's usually the boys. Jason and Tim by *far* stand out as fandom faves so, their dynamic is a heavily explored one. it does matter that in canon they don't tend to get along and especially don't see each other as family. what matters is that you can push dynamics onto them. and so fanon gets all twisted up about which Robin Tim actually idolized as a kid (Dick) and what member of the Batfamily is pro-murder but still an older sibling figure to him and looks out for him (Helena, or if you want the dynamic of once tried to harm Tim but they've reconciled, Jean-Paul) in favor of who's the most popular. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian are always going to be the standouts for popularity, but it's specifically Jason and Tim who are getting fanonized the most. and that's because really, we don't have much canon content of Tim that *isn't* the comics. for Dick you've got Young Justice (tv), for Damian you've got the DCAMU, for Jason you've sort of got the Under The Red Hood movie, but Tim sort of lingers in this limbo. (yes, he's in Young Justce (tv) and Titans (live action) but in neither is he the main character nor given much depth) so, he gets a *lot* projected onto him and has become fanonized. and even with Jason's animated movies, you don't see him interact with Tim, so people build it from the ground up how they want to see it, disregarding of canon comics. i think it's what makes him so popular in the first place- he's malleable into whatever you want or need him to be.
and of course, the fanon ignores other characters in the Batfamily it doesn't know about. i feel like you could create a tier list of Batfamily characters by their popularity, going from the fandom main characters: Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Damian. to the underrated: Steph, Duke, Babs, Cass. to the forgotten about unless they're convenient for a story: Kate, the Foxes, Helena Wayne, Carrie, Selina, Harper Row, Maps, Minhkhoa Khan. to the absolutely unknown: Helena Bertinelli, Jean-Paul Valley, Onyx Adams, the Clovers, Julia Pennyworth. it's not lost on me that the ignored characters tend to be women and people of color. which is both a canon and fanon problem, DC will continue adding interesting characters to the Batfamily, play with them for a few years, then drop them to default to the "Batboys" again. and it's a vicious cycle of the fandom only caring about the "Batboys", and thus people entering the fandom via fanon osmosis won't have content about the other characters, therefore, they won't be interested in those characters enough to create it, and it's just this ouroboros consuming itself, no matter how much canon content we have of these other characters. and it's ridiculous just how large the Batfamily is becoming because of this, which is why i'm a pre-Flashpoint fan, because then the Batfamily was contained enough to actually feel like a family with every character having nuances relationships with each other, but i digress because those thoughts could be their own post.
and the thing about fanon is it doesn't exist in a vacuum. DC has started turning the comics to accommodate for what fans are asking for, because fans will beg and beg for content they're not going to consume. Tim Drake: Robin had Tim as a coffee drinker because that's the fanon accepted headcanon. and the resolution of the recent Gotham War arc was for Bruce to buy this new manor for everyone to move in and call him. nevermind that most of these characters have their own homes and have zero reason to be moving in with Bruce. Tim had his marina in Tim Drake: Robin, Dick has Bludhaven, Cass and Steph have their little side of town in Batgirls (2022), and so on. these characters are being forced together as a unit, as one big happy family living together, to appease what non-comic fans want and it's damaging comic relationships. Robin: Knight Terrors saw Jason and Tim team up and working together, which i've seen varying opinions on but i personally despised. their interactions made zero sense for any of their canon history, but it appeases them being this close sibling relationship that fanon acts like they are. also the fears they faced in their respective knight terrors didn't make sense for either character and *only* worked as a moment of bringing them together so they could reassure each other and have this weird dreamscape bonding moment. the canon is bending itself to the will of fanon rather than building on the pre-existing complex relationships. Tim barely even gets along with his most important team in Dark Crisis: Young Justice because it seems the only important relationships the Batfamily can have is with each other. and when we do see them outside of the Batfamily, it only seems to be to relive the glory days like with World's Finest: Teen Titans, instead of developing them as they currently exist. this isn't recent in the comics, it feels like you can trace it back to the New-52, but it does feel a *lot* worse over the recent years. WFA is fine when it exists in its own bubble, but the simple truth is, DC content never exists on its own. the adaptations will reflect back onto the comics. (the damage the Young Justice cartoon has done to some characters should honestly be studied) and so it does frustrate me a bit when fanon-only or adaptation-only fans act like we're being nothing but killjoys for being frustrated with this. since they don't read the comics, they don't see how the comics are suffering as a result of this.
people argue about what's out of character for the comics they don't even read. i'm sorry, but "bad dad Bruce" is consistently canon. that man is just kind of shitty. when you take someone who has the drive he has, who has this need for the Mission first, who needs a teenager in spandex next to him to keep him off the ledge, that guy is sort of going to be a shitty father figure. he just is. not on purpose or with malice, but when you compare him to any other dad in a big DC family, he sure takes the cake. it's why characters like Oliver Queen tend to *really* fucking hate Bruce for how he treats his kids. Bruce loves fiercely, but he doesn't do well with putting that love first. and his love is a controlling one, he is very particular about controlling how others in the Batfamily are "allowed" to operate. it's what drives the wedge between him and Dick, it's why Steph is never a true daughter to him. (besides the reason of her needing to be a love interest to Tim first, anyway-) i've never understood the massive outcry of people reacting to Bruce kinda being shitty in comics they're not reading. there are some moments that get ridiculously OOC with how cartoonishly evil he is (the whole Gotham War arc and that... complicated mess with Jason) but largely if you want sitcom loving nuclear father Bruce, you have to accept that is a fanon thing, not a canon one. the Batfamily being a nuclear family in *general* is fanon. most of the "Batkids" don't actually see Bruce in a particularly fatherly light and begging for moments where he calls them his kids or they call him dad outside of incredibly specific circumstances is just OOC.
it's getting harder and harder to exist peacefully in this fandom it feels like, if you don't comply to the standard fanon has set. i'm happy people are having fun with their blorbos, even if in ways i dislike, but that "harmless fandom fun" does ripple it's way back to canon, eventually. so i end up pretty tangled with my feelings because are fans at fault for DC making these poor decisions? probably not, but it certainly feels like an unfortunate cause-and-effect situation whether at the end of the day, nobody is happy. and of course, i know some fanon-only fans are striving to be more canon accurate and care about canon dynamics more than others, but for them it's always going to be an uphill battle with the above-mentioned out-of-context panels thrown around and ever-pervasive fanon overtaking anything that's truly seeking to be canon compliant. so really, it sometimes feels like we're all losing.
#necrotic festerings#batfamily#batfamily meta#dc comics#fandom meta#fan studies#fanon vs canon#i deleted paragraphs of this to try to make it shorter. it failed btw.#anyway i got into comics when i was like 12 with the dark knight returns#and if i hadn't been into this medium for a decade i don't think i would be able to get into it as an adult so i get it#bc i'm trying to get into marvel comics and fuck ME am i confused as fuck.#do marvel comics have like. an equivalent to crisis events?#is the ultimates like their version of the new-52? i do NOT know#it's so hard and daunting so trust me i get it#if you never wanna pick up a comic god i respect you you're so right this is fucking miserable#i want to live and let live in fandom but *god* i'm struggling here#i used to bend to the will of fanon fun fact#i wrote my share of tim and jason fics playing into fanon tropes. god i hate them *now* but they did fucking numbers.#and i used to care more about getting attention in fandom than being accurate#i've matured now. it's why i write on anonymous so much to remind myself this should be for me.#anyway i could do a character study on every batfam member as fanon vs canon#ESPECIALLY tim and jason. i know so much about them trust me.#jason todd fans annoyed me so much i once sat and read almost every fucking jason comic. i didn't even like him.#but i tell you what i know that man and he will never leave my top five characters on league of comics.#this is so long. is anyone going to read all of this.#if you do you're a fucking trooper i'm saluting you.#this isn't even all of my thoughts i had to condense myself.#bc i also have thoughts about how this means some characters no longer get to exist outside of the batfam#because they only exist as a member of the unit#ergo we have very little current content of helena bertinelli or onyx adams or duke thomas
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darryscrow · 1 year ago
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I love Paul and darry so MUCH UGH. I need to see it once you're finished w it 🙏🙏🙏
The reason Paul's so upset with Darry is because Darry abandoned Paul for his family and then expects Paul to abandon his family for Darry which like why would he do that for him when he knows it won't be reciprocated?
Obvi the dif is that Paul's fam is his emotionally abusive parents and Darry's is his two younger brothers who he loves dearly but Paul doesn't realize that there is a difference.
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generic-sonic-fan · 3 months ago
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Hi!
When I read your fics I was amazed how you write team dark and their dynamic. I was wondering, since I would like to write about them as well, but am struggling with really getting them to feel like actual people.
Do you have any tricks or things you keep in mind when writing Omega? And on top of that, what do you keep in mind when writing Rouge or Shadow? How do you make these three fit so well? Like three puzzle pieces that kind of have the right shape but still don’t quite align.
I’m sorry if this is a big ask, I’m just quite curious, you have written them so well in Mirror Verse and other one shots like CTRL + ALT + DELETE. Can’t help but ask for the secrets of the master :)
I am so honored by this question and you've also activated my trap card. I LOVE talking about how I see these guys and the vibes I keep in mind for each of them while writing.
The TL;DR:
Team Dark are a group of three mutually beneficial friends who regard each other as equals, even if they occasionally disagree/fight. In my opinion, if this is missing, you're no longer writing Team Dark, but "Rouge and her two dogs" or "IDW Shadow and his no good very bad mandates" or whatever. This is my most controversial opinion.
For Omega, he's the boisterous rebel of the group. He helps keep their momentum going at all times, and tends to be a driving force in conversations and the instigator of new actions.
For Shadow, he's the serious anchor of the team. He helps keep Team Dark together, tending to be the one most willing to let his true emotions show, whether that be his attachment to them or his real opinions on a situation.
For Rouge, she's the charismatic tactician of the team. She helps point Team Dark in a direction, tending to outline the circumstances and situations they find themselves in to help the other two understand better.
To use tropes, they're all Lancers for each other. Ideally, each one of them can be compared and contrasted against each other- not just Shadow and Rouge vs Omega or Shadow and Omega vs Rouge.
To move onto individual breakdowns of how I see each of them and how they fit together- LONG post beneath the cut! You have been warned! Oh, and the actual writing advice is at the bottom because I got carried away, oops.
Omega:
The basis-
The very core of my writing for Omega comes down to three points, which I will reiterate here for convenience. Omega:
Hates Eggman
Will do ANYTHING to avoid being ignored and overlooked again
uses the first point to cover up the second point and would sooner deactivate than admit it
This is, in my humble opinion, what motivates Omega in almost everything he does. He's loud and boisterous. Why? Because he hates being silenced! He's violent and dangerous. Why? Because the idea of being (and being seen) as powerless makes him furious.
Omega's greatest desires, outwardly manifested by his drive to kill his creator, are about choice and freedom for himself. If he wants to do something, he does it. Flat out. Or in the very rare cases of his restraint, he will make it explicitly clear that he is choosing not to for a reason that still benefits him in the long run. This robot has a pathological need for control over his life, and god help anyone who dares threaten that.
That control includes control over his image- he's a deeply prideful individual. Getting him to admit a mistake is like pulling (metaphorical) teeth. Shadow and Rouge are more likely to apologize than he ever will be. He can't stand being perceived as weak, inconsistent, or incompetent.
He's much more of a liar than Shadow ever could be. I've heard the phrase "still waters run deep", and I think that describes Omega perfectly. Like all the other members of Team Dark, he is extremely guarded with his more vulnerable emotions. Whereas Rouge's cover emotion is a flirty suaveness, and Shadow's cover emotion is aloof determination, Omega's cover emotion is a sort of joyous rage. He wants to be seen either as A. Angry or B. Having the time of his life. Good luck getting him to express anything else. (Even in front of Shadow and Rouge!)
But the important part is that he does feel the full range of emotions. And he accepts that he feels all those things, even if you couldn't get him to confess it out loud. I myself tend to accidentally write Omega as more philosophical than I think he needs to be, but that doesn't negate the fact that he does care about things that he pretends not to! How people treat him vs how they treat his organic teammates, his role as the (not quite) only friendly robot in his universe, so on. He has a curiosity about the world around him that someone who was isolated from it might have. And yes, there's actual canon evidence for this now- he spends all of Shadow's campaign in Sonic x Shadow generations making remarks and generating conclusions about the world around him, not just about Eggman robots.
Omega has such a zeal for life that he's not himself without it. He cares. He cares. He cares. Make him have strong opinions on everything.
Fitting into Team Dark:
Omega fits into Team Dark as their catalyst. The definition of "catalyst" is "a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change".
Omega is the one always spurring Shadow and Rouge into motion, and he's the one that forces them into conflict- not against each other, but against the world, and their preconceptions of just about everything. He's the one asking "WHY NOT?" whenever they say they can't do something, "WHO CARES?" whenever they worry too much about anything. He's got too much drive to ever sit idly by, and being friends with him requires at least some level of reciprocation of that energy.
The biggest way Omega shows that he cares is simply by his presence. Shadow and Rouge understand that if Omega did not want to be here, he wouldn't be. Tolerating their own problems and eccentricities is their biggest ask from him. Given that "their problems" usually tend to be far outside his skill range, he's always a bit unsure of how to solve them. And of course, as we covered previously, he hates feeling or seeming unsure.
. . . but he does want to solve them. Because he cares.
He's the most classically tsundere out of all of them. It took him the longest out of all of them to figure out that he did genuinely care about them, but now that he does. . . he's not quite sure how to navigate it? Relationships are still new to him, give him time. The line where "WANTING TO MAINTAIN TEAMMATE EFFECTIVENESS" separates from "SEEING MY TEAMMATE IN DISTRESS MAKES ME DISTRESSED" is really fuzzy for him.
So he tries. He's one to face their problems like he does every other problem- head on. It's moments like this where his own clarity and certainty of character can cut through the fog of a problem that the other two are overcomplicating.
---
He's most similar to Shadow in their shared bluntness and need to feel like they're accomplishing their goals. They're both impulsive. They're both guys who ask "well why don't we just do X" and then they go run off to do X, even if it's already been tried and found to not work by someone before them. They share a mistrust of the competency of others.
He's most unlike Shadow in the fact that Shadow masks, heavily, while he does not. Shadow keeps quiet and tries to blend in with "normal" people. Omega does not, from his appearance to the way he acts. He embraces his differences while Shadow struggles with them. Omega is much more certain in his identity than Shadow will ever be.
---
He's most similar to Rouge in their shared nonchalance for consequences. Rouge is barely, barely governed by the idea that it would be harder to do what she wants if the cops are after her. Omega has come to agree with this philosophy. I've always headcanoned them as being far more morally questionable than Shadow would ever let himself be. They're also both go-getters. When they see something they want, they get it, even if the methods they employ to do so differ.
He's most unlike Rouge in that Rouge loves to play the "game" of society. She gets joy out of playing the fool sometimes and allowing people to underestimate her, something Omega would never tolerate even if he did see the value of such a play. This extends to her proclivity for stealth and anonymity- she doesn't mind having the last laugh over someone in private, whereas for Omega, what's the point if nobody knows that you won?
Shadow:
The basis:
Shadow is a character that I have the most difficulty describing how I write. Probably because, for fuck's sake, he's Shadow the Hedgehog. Everybody knows Shadow. Everybody writes about Shadow. And everybody writes about Shadow differently yet they all feel like the same guy. He is "all of him", and in a manner almost similar to Metal Sonic, there's so many different ways you can portray him yet still have it feel right.
Here is just about the only post I've made about how I write Shadow. It's a bit rambly, but I still stand by it. My favorite paragraph from it is probably this one-
At his best, Shadow is thoughtful, neutral, and surprisingly level-headed. Impulse only gets the best of him when he perceives himself as being the only one who can act competently- if a situation "needs" an Ultimate Lifeform, he's the first to run in and try to solve it. Otherwise, he's much more methodical than the likes of Sonic, Amy, Omega, etc. He values efficiency over fun or flashiness. He's not very good at putting himself in other people's shoes, but if you want an objective opinion on a situation at hand he's one of your best bets to ask.
For me, Shadow is someone who values being stoic and being there for the people who need him. One of his innate desires, one that he consistently struggles with, is to be the perfect tool for the people he cares about. He wants to solve their problems. Ease their pain. Fulfill their wishes about the world. I always thought that his very first line in SA2 to Eggman, about "granting his wish" was very resonant to him both pre- and post-Maria.
Shadow knows that he has the tendency to follow the directions of others, and it's something he fights within himself. He pushes himself to be independent to the point of overcorrecting and putting everyone off. He also has a tendency to form attachments, deeply, and this too is something that he tries to suppress and avoid showing (for Maria-related reasons).
Ultimately, Shadow is the most honest character of Team Dark. His struggles with who he is and his own mental health are too big for him to fight alone- as a result, he's forced to share them. He tries so hard to deny parts of him to himself that he ends up spilling everything everywhere. Shadow tries, and does a decent job in front of strangers, but among friends he just can't hide. He is all of him.
(This ironically results in him being the 'token mentally ill one' of Team Dark when I write him, lol! He's the one who's had to put the work in because of his PTSD, and it shows! He's got more emotional maturity than either Omega or Rouge because he's had to develop it to keep moving forward with his life.)
Fitting into Team Dark:
Shadow is the anchor of Team Dark. He helps ground Omega and Rouge to the world. He's by far the most philosophical and spiritual of the three- he's the only one thinking about stuff like his purpose, his future, his role in life, what he's meant to be, etc. He's a thinker, and sometimes Omega and Rouge need that sort of anchor to the bigger picture to stay themselves.
He is honest and he is earnest. He says what he means, and means what he says. He provides the best evaluations of the current situation. He's almost like the "canary in the coal mine"- if something is going wrong, if the Team or anybody in it starts to lose their way, Shadow is the first to speak up.
He might not be the one to start the conversation, but he is the first one to really talk, and this helps the others open up. The most important thing is that he doesn't even realize he's doing it. He's not self-aware enough to be a facilitator or mediator in any capacity, but he is the stabilizer of the three regardless.
. . . which some might call ironic, given the fact that it's Rouge and Omega helping him stay level when it comes to his erratic mental health. He does lean on them when he gets triggered. He needs to. And sometimes he needs someone to talk him out of his own spiral when he thinks too much. Omega and Rouge help him to unwind from the tight little knots he binds himself in trying to sort out himself.
Saying that Shadow cares about them is like saying that Shadow cares about breathing. It's effortless. Natural. He couldn't stop caring about them now if he tried. It's just the way he's wired. The biggest way that he shows this is by doing things for them and worrying about them. Both in silence, of course.
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He's most similar to Omega in his potential for ruthlessness and a stubbornness when they've made up their minds. They also relate through their shared otherness to the majority, being manufactured beings who have difficulty discerning the intentions and reasoning of others.
He's most unlike Omega in that he has a firm moral compass and a deep consideration for what is "intended" for him. Furthermore, conflict isn't something Shadow enjoys. Destruction? Sure. Conflict? Not really, so he avoids it for things he doesn't deem important. Omega finds disagreements refreshing, whereas for Shadow they make him feel trapped.
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He's most similar to Rouge in that they both don't mind slowing down. They both take pleasure in the little things in life, from soft blankets to good fur care products and the like. Though Shadow is more duty-driven than her, they prefer having lives outside of their work. They both need to have periods alone to gather themselves again.
He's most unlike Rouge in that he's selfless while she's selfish. It's not even just that he's got a more heroic moral compass than her- he just fundamentally values other things more highly than he does himself. Of the entire team he's the most likely to step up to "do what's required" or "do what's right". Oh, and he's self-sacrificial to a fault, something Rouge just can't fathom.
Rouge:
Rouge is the hardest for me to write because she's the opposite of Omega in a lot of ways.
This is a bat who puts on a front for everything.
Including in her own narration.
I think my strongest POV character work for her that shows this is chapters 2 and 6 of my 2024 Team Dark Week one-shots. Both of which allude to things about her that she won't even tell the audience, as well as plenty of emotions that she kicks down so that nobody sees them.
Whereas Omega desires physical control, Rouge desires control over information. She's a string-puller, a manipulator, a planner. She's the ultimate tactician, and she will do everything in her power to ensure that she ends up on top and her enemies end up on the bottom, crushed by her own heel if she's lucky, but she'll also settle for their destruction by anyone or anything else.
She's invested most heavily into her social skillset. She always knows the right thing to say. Conversations are if-then equations for her; if she says this, then the other person will feel that. She uses this on enemies and friends alike, and furthermore, regardless of what she might actually want to say or do in the moment.
A friend might be sad, and if she needs them to be happy, she'll console them, even if she would rather grab their shoulders and scream her frustration at them. An enemy might ask her to do something that she hates, but if it means accomplishing her goals, she'll shove that down and do it with a smile. She's flexible, adaptable, mutable, and she can track her status with each individual with ease. . .
. . . except with herself. Not to say that she isn't incredibly prideful, and that she won't stick up for herself, but sometimes the gap between what she needs to be to get the result she wants and what she's actually feeling in the moment can grow so large she disconnects them entirely. She won't just hide her emotions- she will feel ashamed of them and try to force herself not to feel them.
She's the most 'herself' when she's 'off shift', so to speak. She relaxes significantly when she's alone or with the two people on this planet that she trusts enough to do so. She actually becomes less opinionated when she's at her most casual. She can get catty or annoyed by things in this state but she much more go-with-the-flow. While she gets the most pleasure from intensive gem heists, it doesn't take much to just make her happy. A good TV show? She's happy. A fun chat with a friend? She's happy. Painted nails and a good outfit? Happy.
The catch is having the stability to stay that way, hence the impressive tangle of machinations she concocts to keep her little corner of the world totally within her control.
Fitting into Team Dark:
Most people probably were surprised by my previous section stating that Shadow was the emotional anchor of the team. Most people see Rouge that way- and that's a valid interpretation, but I prefer a different take.
Rouge is the team leader. Period. I stand by the majority of this post I made about Rouge's dynamic as the team leader. The TL;DR is that she's the planner and tactician, the expert at cognitively thinking through the best way to aim the two living weapons at her disposal. This also, however, comes with resolving the differences between them when things get heated.
She often finds herself as the one resolving conflict, not because she's the "mom friend", but that she needs these two to get along (and some external parties to get along with them!) or else a lot of her plans could fall apart, and she cannot have that. Being a part of Team Dark is one hell of a vulnerable position for her, and there's some days where she wonders if it's worth it. Being dependent on others like this freaks her out in a way that Shadow and Omega can't conceptualize.
She's always had a soft spot for Shadow and Omega given the circumstances. That much is true. But I think it's only a significant ways into her friendship with them that she resolves to stick by Shadow and Omega's sides should the world turn against them. Choosing to have someone's back instead of distancing herself the moment things become dicey is a huge sign that she genuinely cares. I believe her confession in Sonic 06, and again in SxS Gens, to be the most honest and heartfelt she's ever going to be with them. Shadow and Omega might not understand the full depth of what those moments meant for her.
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She's most similar to Shadow in that they're both pretty grounded. A lot of the basic assumptions they make about the world and scripts for how to behave are similar between them. They feel their emotions similarly and in response to similar situations, even if Rouge tends to hide them better. They're both just. . . pretty relaxed people outside of extraordinary circumstances. Not to say they don't have moments where they get passionate and excited on their own though.
She's most unlike Shadow in that she doesn't think anything is wrong with her. For all her knowledge on people and emotions and conversation, she doesn't understand that the way she operates is pretty mentally ill, folks! She thinks that she doesn't have any trauma, anything to cry about or angst over, and nothing is further than the truth. Her struggles were 'ordinary', distant from alien bioweapons or growing up on a space station or being freshly created then locked in a basement forever. But they were still struggles, struggles that shape how she sees the world and not in a good way.
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She's the most similar to Omega in their shared pathological need for control, lol. They're both control freaks, even if said control freaking can occur in opposite directions from each other. It's where they chafe the most and it's because they're so similar. They're also both prideful and care deeply about keeping their reputations consistent. They're both liars in contrast to Shadow's honesty.
She's the most unlike Omega in that she's willing to mute herself to get what she wants. Sometimes she wishes she could scream "why can't you just pretend to be normal?!?!?!" at him when he's stirring up trouble and forcing her to alter her plans. She's calculated. He's rash. Fundamental mismatch of vibes sometimes.
Conclusion
It's been so fun to type out the culmination of almost my two years writing for these characters and how they weave in and out of each other.
In a not-at-all-concise way, I've tried to describe how they fit together and how they all have different sides to them.
I think the most important thing I've practiced to make them feel "real" when you're writing them is to hint, but not outright state, that there's something they're not saying that differs or is deeper than their surface-level conversation. For example, Rouge would never ever EVER say "I'm manipulating people to protect myself." Omega would never ever ever say "I care but I have no idea how to show it." Shadow could maybe possibly say "I'm trying to find myself and resist being the obedient tool I was made to be," but holy shit is he going to have to be going through it to even consider saying that.
You have to hint at it. Dance around the topic. Delight in withholding the information from the readers. Have Rouge sweet-talk someone to do something only for her smile to fade into something anxious and tired the moment their back is turned. Have Omega shoplift something small for Rouge from the supermarket and have him questioning the entire time whether it was even worth the effort, only to be relieved when Rouge squeals in delight. Have Shadow give an abrupt "no" to a seemingly benign request for a favor from Rouge and write him clamming up about why he did so afterwards.
It's blending these deeper facets of their characters into their current dialogue and actions that's my favorite thing to do in my writing. Even better if an outside character witnesses that little glimpse of the interior world and goes "huh, I wasn't expecting that."
Oh, and all the above paragraphs I've typed in this post to perfectly describe each character? Remember that they don't know all that about themselves.
They might be just as surprised as the outside characters are about how they've acted. They might not realize that something was bothering them, or that there was something they feel strongly about, until it surfaces unexpectedly! This can result in fights, or big dramatic moments.
All of THAT dives into the whole "avoiding therapy-speak" discussion currently happening in the greater writing community, one that would require me to write an entirely different post to explain. Here's my favorite primer on the subject if you'd like, but this post is already long enough, so I'll leave off here.
Thank you so much for this ask. You gave my autistic ass the best evening of my life typing this all out.
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radioactive-yuri · 13 days ago
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thunderbolts platonic bdsm. aaaand post
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invinciblevalentine · 4 months ago
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atp i would snort reeve tuesti fic like cocaine.
if anyone knows any fics that put reeve through the blender like “Son” by She_sees_in_the_dark or “Through Another’s Eyes” by CorsairOriginal—
i need to see that man under enough pressure to make a diamond crack. For my health.
#reeve tuesti#ff7#ffvii#txt#nah if anyone’s got fic recs PLEASE slide them my way#even if you’re like ehhhhh it’s not exactly what OP was thinking#because i WAS NOT JOKING ABOUT SNORTING REEVE FIC LIKE COCAINE. ITS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE IM CONSIDERING SYNTHESIZING MY OWN REEVE FIC#LIKE WISH DOT COM CRACK. ALIEXPRESS CRACK. THE KIND OF CRACK THAT MAKES YOU RECONSIDER YOUR LIFE CHOICES.#fluff is great and all mad respect to our confectioners in fandom#but i think i’d actually suck dick to feed the part of my brain that needs to see Reeve pushed to his limits#comedy is great too love me some comedy. but yeah i’m fiending for reeve fics and i don’t think that’s even an exaggeration.#*deep breath* SO IF ANY REEVE TUESTI FIC WRITERS ARE OUT THERE LISTENING#IVE GOT 50 BUCKS AN ENGINEERING DEGREE AND I WORK AS A FIRST RESPONDER.#hit me UP#stg ill answer any question you have abt those topics.#idk if i’ve made it clear how desperate i am for reeve fic#I’m writing some reeve fic myself but i’m not a particularly fast writer when it comes to fiction#OH#i can also draw! the pfp is my work but that was like a rly short thing#not exactly representative of my full abilities.#so if you want to see what some of my high effort work looks like hmu i do digital and traditional.#i’m dead serious abt all of the above. i’m kind of broke so i got maybe 50 $ a month to drop on this at most.#but everything else is a free resource baby.#hi you’ve made it to the end! thanks for reading my deranged tags#i’m clinically unwell about reeve tuesti.#anyways live laugh reeve!
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cimmerian1275 · 1 month ago
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My TMNT fic recs!! (WIP)
Recommendations, the ones i love, and ones i plan on reading soon <3
Majority of them are Leonardo-centric, or in the Rise universe. Some comics in there too.
Not all of them are linked, i will be stuck editing this for years if i do...
My ALL TIME FAV!:
Two Souls (wip) by Virgilisspidey on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover My fav by default because it was my introduction into reading fanfics and solidified my rottmnt obsession <3 and i just LOVE the concept of it.
Key: A personal favourite, and i highly recommend! ✨ SOOOOOO much fluff and love 💖 WILL cripple you and destroy you emotionally 💔
That ive read and finished:
✨💔Cass Apocalypse Series
Replica Donnie-centric
Mermaid/Pirate AU (wip) by artsybun on Tumblr Leo-centric, Usagi-centric, crossover
We Are Infinite (wip) by Celestron_o0o on Ao3
✨💖Stargazer's Club (wip) by West_Brooke on Ao3 Donnie-centric, April-centric, turtle tots, how they met April
Id Give You My Lungs (wip) by Insomniac Tiger on Ao3 Leo-centric
Arcadia (wip) by SkylerSkyhigh Leo-centric
✨Lone Hunter And Turtle by MidnightCreator12 on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover
✨NEON - Separated AU (wip) by TheOvidians on Ao3 Leo-centric, sep au
✨Rise Of The Elements (wip) by Threee on Ao3
Storm On The Horizon (wip) by marizousbooty on Ao3
✨💔The Kelvin Timeline (wip) by bluebirdfeathers on Ao3 Disaster twin-centric
Another World (At Least I Have You By My Side) (wip) by Sorrin on Ao3
Too Many Turtles (wip) by DysfunctionalRequest on Ao3
💔Presumed Dead (wip) by Minor_Inconvenience23 on Ao3 Leo-centric
The Rise Of Leonardo (wip) by Slady on Ao3 Leo-centric
Tried To Grow Up Good by Sroloc_Elbisivni on Ao3
✨💔Livin' Like We're Renegades by lasanya539 on Ao3
Im Sorry Teenage Mutant What Now? (wip) by tangledinink on Ao3
Dreams Of An Insomniac (wip) by Noktume_al
Us, Chaotic? Never! by beanieable on Ao3
✨The Shadow Of A Dead Brother by lunarleonardo on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover
Wouldnt It Be Easier (wip) by 14Muffinz on Ao3
✨When Im Gone (wip) by SkyfireTheDragon on Ao3 Leo-centric
The Blue Guard (wip) by Trainer_Mimico on Ao3 Leo-centric
✨I Waited Eight Long Months (She Finally Set Him Free) by stillateenageabomination on Ao3 Kind of Leo-centric, crossover
✨Lightning In Our fingertips Today by DaFlangstLairde on Ao3 Disaster twin-centric
✨I Bend The Definition Of Faith by siliconforbrains on Ao3 Leo-centric, F!Leo
How To Get Very Good At Juggling by radishhqueen on Ao3 April-centric
Cold Hearth (wip) by Crisis_Accepted on Ao3
Recoil by unorthodoxx on Ao3 Crossover
The Neon Void by sugarpastels on Ao3 Leo-centric
Kraang Soup (Not My Circus Not My Turtles) by Bluetortoise137 on Ao3 Disaster twin-centric, crossover
✨Power Up (wip) by pickledcarrotsandradish on Ao3 Leo-centric
✨Hidden Souls by Bla_de_doop on Ao3 Leo-centric, F!Leo
The Call Back Home by GooseInsurance on Ao3
Soulbound by jambased on Ao3
✨I May Be Invisible But I Still Look Good by Dandy on Ao3 Leo-centric
Lost My Way (wip) by Nightwingsrightwingwoman on Ao3
At My Worst by teainthesnow on Ao3
Nothing Ever Lasts (wip) by Xx_Ame_Thyst_xX on Ao3
Every Night The Longest Day by ashtreelane on Ao3 Leo-centric
New Normal (wip) by RavenTrinkets on Ao3
Where In The World Is Neon Leon by 316_frogs on Ao3 Leo-centric
✨His World by SkylerSkyHigh on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover, F!Leo
✨💔The Glass Pawn by I_Logophile on Ao3 Leo-centric
By Touch By Sight (wip) by story_monger on Ao3 Leo-centric
✨💔Our Future Days (wip) by cryptid_qt69 on Ao3 Leo-centric, F!Leo, crossover. SOOOO GOOD SO WELL DONE OHMYGOD youll LOVE this one, its heartwrenching and amazing!!!
Death Is Not Departure Of Connection (wip) by TRANScendtheBInary on Ao3
✨💔Little Kid With A Big Death Wish by remrose on Ao3 Leo-centric
💔Its Alright Its Okay by KALL on Ao3 Leo-centric
Times Five by pickledcarrotsandradish on Ao3 Leo-centric
Homeward Bound (wip) by IadaAnfisa on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover
Goodnight 'Til It Be Tomorrow by OpalLil on Ao3
Turtle Out Of Water by Anonymous on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover
✨The Blood In My Veins by EchoKazul on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover, separated au
A Quiet Epilogue (wip) by Thesunnysunsun on Ao3
✨I Was A Teenage Turtle (wip) by Nefres on Ao3 Leo-centric, Ben-centric, crossover. ABSOLUTELY UNDERRATED CROSSOVER IDEA!! Go comment on their fic and tell them how cool it is <3
Jumping To Conclusions by EchoKazul on Ao3
✨I Still Feel Alive (series/wip) by DaFlangstLairde on Ao3 Leo-centric
Distorted Mirror by loneAnonon on Ao3
I Think I Would Prefer The Prison Dimension (wip) by PurpleCatGhost on Ao3 Leo-centric
Whispers Of Distant Souls (wip) by loneAnonon on Ao3 Leo-centric, F!Leo
Under Wraps (wip) by ShinFay on Ao3
Same Story Different Font by Starryeyedace on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover
💔Call Me Here (I Will Appear) (wip) by rbt_lvr on Ao3 Leo-centric
Transdimentional Memory (wip) by Bostaffsarecool31 on Ao3 Leo-centric
Good Thing Your Already Dead (wip) by littleblues888 on Ao3 Leo-centric, separated au
Turpentine Erase Me Whole (wip) by stillateenageabomination on Ao3 Leo-centric
✨💖My Mr Turtle on Ao3 by Andrea_ODown on Ao3 Leo-centric, April-centric
✨Light In The Darkness by EchoKazul on Ao3 Leo-centric
When You Needed A Little Space But Ended Up Switching Universes (wip) by GravelTheStone Crossover
How To Accidentally Kidnap Yourself Several Times Over (wip) by Camildeni on Ao3 Mikey-centric, crossover
Shell Shocked (Literally) (wip) by Pachinko_Lessons_101 on Ao3 Leo-centric
Hudson River Cryptids? (wip) by LetRaphGoApeShit on Ao3 Crossover
Multi-Dimensional Turle Chaos (wip) by CeruleanBound on Ao3 Chat-fic
Know Peace by less_depresso_more_espresso on Ao3 Mikey-centric, crossover
This Family Can Bear Any Weather by purpleturtle9000 on Ao3
Two Nardos One Dream Sequence (wip) by tinytinyturttlesoup on Ao3 Leo-centric
✨Three-Sided Coin (wip) by Willow_Wept on Ao3 VERY Leo-centric, F!Leo
✨Red-Eared, Silver Tongued (wip) by DuskEverlasting on Ao3 Leo-centric
✨Leo, Leoo & Leon by Superherokid on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover
✨Do I Look Like Him? (wip) by Chilaglia on Ao3 Leo-centric, F!Leo
The Sun Also Rises (wip) by nikigairu on Ao3
Weightless On A Rooftop (Will I Fly?) (wip) by lil_lavender3 on Ao3 Leo-centric
✨💔Softshell In Human Clothing (wip) by HoonHarpoon on Ao3 Donnie-centric, crossover
Everyday Is All There Is (wip) by DragonSneakers on Ao3
Wanderer (wip) by Vangh17a on Ao3 Donnie-centric
That ive started/need to finish:
Mystic Malfunction by VanillaVengeance on Ao3 Mikey-centric, crossover
✨Meet Me When The World Ends by WhyIsThisHappeningToMe Portal duo-centric, CJ-centric, F!Turtles, crossover
We'll Go From There by KoolaidAshley on Ao3
💔The Question Is Violence And The Answer Is Pizza (wip) by Anonymous on Ao3 Chat-fic
April O'Neil: Nightcrawler (wip) by bottledovercast on Ao3 April-centric, almost Leo-centric, separated au
The World Is Full Of Magic, If Only You Know Where To Look (wip) by Purpleandbluelove24 on Ao3 Separated au
Where Loyalties Lie by Shattered_ontheInside on Ao3 Leo-centric
Shredders Vendetta (wip) by Cass_Phoenix on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover
Just Fine (wip) by fireworksinthenight on Ao3 Leo-centric
Last Grain Of Sand In The Hourglass (wip) by TjLockticon on Ao3 Leo-centric, F!Leo
So Evil Ones Should Get A Little More by NerdyBoiYeet on Ao3 Leo-centric
Dead Mans Deal by loneAnonon on Ao3 Leo-centric
The Wrong Side Of The Portal (wip) by ItzZaira on Ao3 Leo-centric, crossover
Oh, My God, What A Chatty Creature by ironAdage on Ao3 Leo-centric
Yesterday It Was So Far Away by Midnight_Duel on Ao3
Even More Of A Disaster by electricinsomnia on Ao3 Disaster twin-centric
Achilles Come Down (wip) by Technodrome Leo-centric
Home Sweet Home (wip) by SurrealSupernaturalist on Ao3
Write Our Names In Wet Concrete (wip) by DarkScales on Ao3 Leo-centric, CJ-centric, F!Leo
Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis (wip) by a_platypus on Ao3 Leo-centric, F!Leo
Paying For The Mistakes I Made by LaFanatess on Ao3 Leo-centric
We'll Meet Again, Soon by chiangyorange on Ao3
Leonardo Come Down by loneAnonon on Ao3 Leo-centric
Race Against Life, Death, And The EPF by Cass_Phoenix on Ao3 Leo-centric
Would It Really Matter? by Angelpuns on Ao3 Leo-centric
A Dream Away (series/wip) by SunMoonDreamer on Ao3 Leo-centric
That i plan on reading:
💔Like Father Like Son by eternalglitch on Ao3 Leo-centric
💔Firefight by remrose on Ao3
Leo Hamato's Guide To Being A Teen Vigilante (wip) by wyrm_wood on Ao3 Leo-centric
Dagger From The Mirror by TotallyNotASecretAo3Account on Ao3
Casey Jones And The Six by bottledovercast on Ao3
Life: The Ultimate Sacrifice by Shattered_ontheInside on Ao3 Leo-centric
No Rest For The Weary by Nekosuki on Ao3
💔Down With The Stockholm (wip) by devotedtosadpoetry on Ao3 Leo-centric
The Eldest Brother by dEBB987 on Ao3
Im going to continuously head back and update this because i 100% have read SO many more, and i need to add them >:) just... not all in one go because this is way too many i had no idea i read this much this fast!?
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causenessus · 4 months ago
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hi! i'll keep this short
i came to the realization everytime i've disappeared from tumblr to "take a break" i never really have because of other things going on in my life (which, duh, this isn't my whole life) but! i also realized that if i never actually take the time to recover and rest and think about things i should be writing i'll never feel better. so! i'm (once again)(but now more formally) going on hiatus until maybe may! i might pop in for spring break or earlier if i feel like it, but until then, not really any writing from me! with that being said, i'll still be around, doting on my moots (i.e. like, dorothea <3 wyr <3 and bug <3) because i love them so much and i will probably also post chapters of present ever so often! the reason being (i'm going to try to make this make sense but it may only make sense to me but i'm aware of how contradicting i am to me five seconds ago when i said i need to take a break from writing) present is a very personal fic for me that i've worked on for years at this point. what i'm posting now are chapters i wrote months ago after I've read over and edited them (or in the case of the upcoming chapter, i did randomly add it in and had to write it from the ground up last week lmao) but if it isn't obvious, present is a work i'm very passionate about and am just posting in case anyone else enjoys it but it feels like it's a work that is very individualized just for me and it doesn't cause me any stress or anxiety. on the topic of individualization, although i am of course so so thankful for all of the support and people that follow me, i do sort of miss when my blog and world were a lot smaller. it's something i feel like i only get when i get to reply to people in comments, but other than that, all the numbers and people on my feed give me a lot of anxiety. the hq (smau fandom especially) fandom or at least how much i'm (was) involved in it has grown exponentially and of course i'm happy about that but it's a bit too much for me. i'll be taking a huge step back from the fandom and any hq works i've written at least in the meantime, but that's not to say they'll never be finished! but i either need to grow to handle the bigger audience that now reads my works or wait for things to grow a little smaller again :) i hope to still be able to read my moots works but forgive me if it takes me a bit or i never get to them! i think at the least i'll still like them to show my support <3 thank you if you read my long ramble! i love you all <3
oh also i'll probably post self ship moodboards and the beginning of my reading list (thank you again dorothea for the idea <3)! but again, I think you get the idea by now; I want to go back to doing this for me! so this is a tiny little goodbye now i'm leaving for you all with forehead kisses and flowers and love notes and mwah <3 i'll see you around!
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thedevillionaire · 9 months ago
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Chosen
Much shorter than it has any right to be, given how long it's taken me to actually finish. Plot? Uh, no, not really. But anyhow... She's been away. He's been unwell.
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He looks at her like she’s the most welcome hallucination he’s ever had.
Kia closes the door slowly behind her as she takes in this chaos of a makeshift apothecary, the loungeroom in an utter state of disarray and her beloved not faring much better, red-nosed and unshaven and dressed in a black silken pyjama and robe ensemble which, while inarguably stylish, was very definitely not his usual late afternoon wear.
And not at all what she had been expecting to come home to.
A miscellany of potions and concoctions and gods-know-what-elses lie scattered across the coffee table. A teacup, mostly empty. Two tissue boxes, one apparently even emptier than the teacup. Some sort of book...no, manual. Looks instructional. A wilderness of failed curatives.
Oh my god.
She walks further into the room. The air smells of menthol and embers.
“Babe, what are… Are you… What have you even been doing h…?”
You absolute beautiful total disaster.
“Trying not to… hh-HH …let thi…this-damn-cold…” Cerberus turns from her as his sentence dissolves, the syllables collapsing against one another in a desperate rush to give way to greater need and deep breath of purpose, and he raises a finger in urgent, undeniable pause. "Huh-TSSCH-uu!" Hurriedly claiming a series of tissues in a brief, expectant hiatus, he surrenders completely and sneezes again. "Hh-AATSCHH-uu! *snff-FF!*" A quiet groan in the aftermath. He excuses himself, adds another tissue to the set, blows his nose and immolates the lot. "Pardon me." He sighs. "Trying not to let this godsdamned cold win,” he manages, with an accompanying sharp sniffle. Neither heavy congestion nor the way his voice cracks slightly lessens any of the seething distaste in his tone.
“Oh, honey.” Kia brushes some errant hair back from his face. :Bless you.: She touches a tender kiss to his temple. “You’re getting your ass kicked.”
She offers him a soft smile to hopefully lessen a little bit of truth's sting. "C'mon, shift over," she says gently as she joins her beloved on the couch, nestling up beside him, resolutely ignoring every caution he tries to give her advising against doing so. Notably half-hearted as those cautions are.
Because while it’s true that he very much doesn’t want her to catch this, he’s also well aware it’s more than likely already too late for such concerns. The entire house is probably some sort of incubation epicentre. And, sincerity of expressed warnings aside, the entire sorry vista surely constitutes warning enough. He's fairly certain he couldn't look more biohazardous if he tried.
Cerberus sighs again, sniffling again immediately afterwards, and gives his bonded a look of resignation.
Further elaboration hardly seems necessary.
But also he doesn’t press the issue because in truth the last thing he wants is to send her away. He’s not even sure he has the energy to insist on it, anyway; he’d be infuriated about this entire ridiculous circumstance if he wasn’t so damn exhausted. So, small obligatory protests done, with another damp sniffle Cerberus shifts some disarrayed blanketry out of the way and wraps an arm around Kia’s waist, drawing her close.
Her soft perfume of violet, strawberry and vanilla is lost on him anywhere outside of memory right now, but her presence is more than enough and he closes his eyes for a moment, just appreciating the simple fact of her being here beside him at last; he's missed her immensely, constantly.
“You know, you could’ve just asked me to come back, if you wanted me here,” Kia muses as she nestles further into his heat, adding, “It wouldn't have been a big deal,” without accusation. She leans her head against his shoulder and looks up at him with gentle azure gaze, her unspoken thoughts of I’d always choose you. How do you still not know that? readable despite her not voicing them.
And he does, of course, know that – in fact, it’s the very reason he wouldn’t ask. Cerberus sniffles thickly, wiping his nose. “Ah, love. I'd hardly ask you to put yourself anywhere near this—" He gestures around the room in a general presentation of contempt for the whole situation. "—vortex of infectious absurdity,” he concludes, thick congestion lacing his words. He clears his throat but it doesn’t make any notable impact against the wreckery his voice has become. "And it's about your... *SNFF!* ...your autodoby."
Kia peers at him. “My…what?”
“Your au…” Cerberus, all too aware that several critical consonants are unequivocally not working for him, rolls his eyes at himself. Honestly. Taking another fresh succession of tissues from a very rapidly depleting supply, he blows his nose forcefully but completely ineffectively.
He excuses himself once more and tries again; it goes equally badly.
Kia, baffled, raises her hands in a friendly but very clear nope sorry babe no idea expression, accompanied by a gentle little laugh that she just can’t help.
A long-suffering and immensely frustrated look comes her way, followed by a resigned, defeated sigh as her beloved entirely gives up. “Free will.”
For a moment, this makes even less sense to Kia. “Why would…” she begins, but cuts herself off in triumphant realisation. “Oh, autonomy!” She laughs. "Oh, sweetheart."
“That’s what I s… hh-hh! I...” And even this is hijacked, and the Demon king capitulates entirely, doubling over desperate into crooked elbow, “Huh-TSCHH-uu! Ah-HEHTSCHuu!” 
He takes some moments of bleary recovery, Kia's heartrate spiking alongside the :Gods, forgive me: Cerberus Mindsends her.
"Oh, bless you, babe." Kia doesn't try to fight the thrill that flashes through her and she wraps herself around her bonded to kiss him again; a kiss deeper, more needful, than is probably wise. But wisdom isn't what she's craving right now.
“You know what? You’re going to stop talking and let me make my own choices.” She brushes a stray lock of hair from his eyes, touches the softest of lingering kisses to his forehead and meets his gaze. :Talking really isn't working out for you anyway.: "And besides—" Another kiss, deeper again, and she presses her arousal against his, salacious, wanton.
:—you know we both want the same thing.:
---
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platoapproved · 5 months ago
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KAI WINN/KIRA????????? you’re a mad genius, but GOD, at WHAT COST????!!!
I don't know about mad genius.... 😅 To me it's such an obvious choice for a ship? They spend the whole series despising one another but constantly forced to interact. They're in conflict constantly in ways that are both personal but also ideological... They're very different people but overlap on a few crucial points (shared history under the occupation, shared love of their culture/people, shared faith). There's some very juicy uneven power dynamics. Kira... kinda seems like she's got a bit of a thing for religious figures. There's chemistry! Like they've got an ENERGY when they're on screen together!
...And there's that moment near the end of the series where Kai Winn actually questions if she might be on the wrong side of things and it's Kira she comes to in her biggest moment of doubt and crisis, and Kira is so shocked by it but is so willing to let go of all of the history between them and help her. It's one of my favorite moments in the whole show because there's seasons and seasons building up to it being such a shocking undoing of all their established patterns with one another. And Winn almost, almost, almost does the right thing, but in the end her pride is too much! Tragedy, folks!
Honestly, it is one of those cases where if certain aspects were different (if both characters were men, if Kai Winn were more aligned with what people find conventionally attractive) there would be a lot more shippers and content for them. Like they're just so radioactively problematic I am sure it would do numbers. But that's not how things are.
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microwavetoaster-selfships · 4 months ago
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It is so funny silly to me when I get shy about writing bigger things or doing bigger art projects for my selfship like most of my life hasn't been spent consuming content of people who where doing comics and full art pieces and animatics and drabbles to thousands of words fics over some blorbos that they really like. Like I love this stuff why am I limiting myself I should go full on all out on this stuff too. If The Sillies inspire me this badly then why not
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theraphos · 6 months ago
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I finally remembered to just look up what's on the side of the Mr. Handy boxes instead of squinting trying to read the in-game model, and I have several questions lmao. I love this stupid setting.
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turtlecleric · 4 months ago
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Vent, not fic
I can't decide if writing is something I... actually enjoy or not. I crave praise and validation and attention so badly that, really, I feel like I'm only writing because it's the best way to get that. I don't really want to write. I want to have written. I don't write just for fun, just for myself. The idea of finishing something and not sharing it feels completely pointless. So I've considered giving up on writing altogether because it's... not great?? For me to be so driven by external validation??? If I write, it should be because I enjoy it, shouldn't it? So if I don't enjoy writing itself, if instead I enjoy the reinforcement I get in exchange for having written and posted something, that means I should stop writing, right? Because what I actually enjoy is the attention and praise and validation?
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snkyou · 2 months ago
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Thinking about how there maybe weren't any snakes inside the walls, so Levi's first encounter with one is the one that got him in the knee.... post war Levi being a biiit wary of snakes, a little scared of them perhaps...
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