#and i am like. thank you. i would rather die than admit an emotion in publich tho

[pietroleopoldo]

Oh god I am the mean edgy character of my friend group

[butwhatifidothis]

I LOVED To Be a Creature, and it genuinely creeped me out to see the things Edelgard and Hubert said to Byleth (though it's the same as the game, stripped out of its voice acting and background music, the dialogue is so much more horrifying). Really makes me wonder if Edelgard's love for Byleth is genuine in any way. Do you think there's any real love there or is it just obsession?

Thank you!!! I had a feeling that placing Edelgard and Hubert's words in a context that isn't meant to make them look flattering would really let their casual racism shine, and I'm glad it's seeming like that is in fact the impression people are getting lol. SO sorry for the late answer btw 😭😭😭

As for whether Edelgard's love is genuine... I got opinions lmao.

got a bit long lmao under the cut it goes

If Edelgard felt the way she does for Byleth on exclusively SS and CF, I could maybe see how this is a "genuine" love (insofar as a love steeped in "I may hate your race but you're special and Not Like The Other Ones because I think you're special to me" can, uh, ever be genuine, in any case). But because Edelgard still feels as strongly towards Byleth on AM and VW where she quite literally never talks to them directly in any meaningful way, it becomes waaaaay more like she's just weirdly obsessed with this person who saved her one singular time ever five years ago from an attack Edelgard set up. It makes the "love" way more forced and contrived and obviously trying to squeeze tears out of the player for standing up against the cute girly trying to murder them. Or, alternatively, it makes Edelgard come off as manipulative, saying that she just wanted to walk with Byleth and it makes her so sad to HAVE to fight Byleth because BYLETH wouldn't stand by HER - and she's saying this on AM/VW to a person she's talked to in conversation a cumulative, what? Hour? Two? Maybe a few days, being nice? Over the course of, being as absolutely generous as physically possible and not counting the five years Byleth was missing... two fucking years? She's shitting herself over fighting this stranger she doesn't fucking know? Yeah, sure buddy, whatever you say - you see what I mean?

And honestly even outside of those two routes, I think it's more that she sees Byleth as being hers rather than actually liking them for who they are. A body to stand next to her and tell her how right she is and comfort her - who doesn't have the background of "I was literally raised to think this is my only purpose in life" muddying the sincerity of the brown-nosing - who also happens to also act as The Perfect Fighter and The Perfect Strategist to actively help her get what she wants. That view of Byleth being a tool doesn't really go away unless they marry her, seen by how they quite literally get nothing for all they've done for Edelgard should they go unmarried to a noble (guess they just weren't meritable enough once their use to her was done).

As well as how much more Edelgard doesn't like Byleth disagreeing with her or otherwise going against her flow than pretty much anyone else in the game - you lose supports points if you don't think the Black Eagle Strike Force name she made is good, she quickly denies the notion that Byleth is detached from others/emotions and insists they are just like she is, she gives them the same callous and thoughtless words she was apparently given once in her life while they are in the midst of mourning their recently murdered father so that they get over it already and get back to being useful to her (directly saying she will only reach out her hand when it's time for HER to move forward, not when BYLETH heals from WATCHING THEIR DAD DIE IN THEIR FUCKING ARMS MAYBE A WEEK AGO). She never treats Byleth kindly unless they do everything she wants, which like. Isn't love???? At all????

There's just this... weirdly possessive air Edelgard has around Byleth that always threw me off, especially with how easily she admits to have been willing to kill them so far into CF and how readily she cuts ties with them the second the fighting's done (which is particular because how just how clingy she was to Byleth everywhere else - you know during all that time Byleth had a use to her). Incorporating that into being an intentional part of her character is certainly interesting, but not in a way that's flattering to the idea of Edelgard genuinely being in love with Byleth lmao.

Personally tho, even disregarding almost everything else, the simple explanation is that I don't think you can really sit there and say you love someone while openly hating part of their racial heritage. Wild thought, I know lmao

[terrorofthetrident]

from an interview ewan did, he said that aemond never felt unconditional love from his family. aemond believes their love is dependent upon his usefulness. so, i think the fact that alicent might not look at him as the dutiful son she can always rely on (be disappointed in him) because of what happened at storm’s end will affect him and lead him into desperation in the attempt to be seen as that dutiful son again, the one his family can look to to see them through the war. i think in season two he’ll embrace his kinslayer title, play it up, and act like he doesn’t care about what his family thinks or says and hide behind that cold, stony facade…but eventually we’ll start to see that facade break away.

Different anon, in my opinion it's terrible circle where aemond can't stand alicent being disappointed in him, because he wants to be her beloved child forever, but he's also willing to show he's still useful, deserving her love despite storms end. I just don't think real closeness, vulnerability, mutual trust can exist betweeen him and alicent because he leaves no room for that. In episode 6 she comforted him, in 7 she was fighting for family to care for him when he lost an eye, but later he doesn't need her to show him support or console him anymore. He isn't vulnerable with her. I am not aegon fan but i admit he's always vulnerable around alicent and no one else. when he cries after she slapped him, do you love me talk in carriage and in trailer with the two of them in one room when he looks tired/sad/anxious with his hand on the chair. alicent just knows aegon better because he lets her in as an adult. he trusts her enough to be emotionally vulnerable with her. aemond hides his vulnerable side from her and everyone else. That doesn't encourage real closeness if he wears a mask all the time. vhagar is his only friend because he doesn't give anyone or himself a chance of real closeness. he is the designer of his own loneliness. I don't know what must happen for aemond to show his facade break away. He is the type to rather die than confess he cares.

first, i’m sorry for the late response, i’m so bad with asks. but thank you for sharing your thoughts! i tried not to make this so wordy (kinda failed).

so, i agree with you on some aspects…despite aemond’s own feeling that the love his family has for him is conditional, it’s clear that he loves his family and that alicent loves him unconditionally. even though aemond isn’t very open in expressing his emotions and feelings, there are still many ways in which he shows that he loves and cares for his family. he’s very protective of them, he pretty much trained his entire life so that he would be his family’s sword and shield, and he can be loving and caring with his family. in ep 9, we see him drop that cold, stony facade when he’s with alicent. he’s soft, caring, and comforting which is very different to his demeanor in ep 8. i think closeness and trust exists between them despite the lack of vulnerability with his words..but i do see your point, i think because aemond is guarded with his emotions alicent likely doesn’t have a deep level of understanding of who he really is, which is really just the tragic reality of their relationship due to the kind of environment they grew up in. aemond wants to be viewed as this formidable and capable protector that his family can depend on and to him vulnerability equals weakness, so he hides it from and for them.

for the most part, we don’t really see aemond openly expressing his emotions, other than when the bottled up emotions brewing up inside him cause him to explode in anger….and with all the tragedies his family will endure, i think it’s likely we’ll get scenes where he expresses his anger/rage/guilt…i think we could see glimpses of his vulnerability show in private moments where he’s alone and/or possibly with criston (i say this because it seems he feels comfortable sharing things with criston ie. when he brought up how he was taken to a brothel when he was 13).

i’m curious to see more interactions between aemond and his family, but, so far from what we’ve gotten, aemond’s scenes with alicent mostly revolve around him making himself useful (in ep 9, when he learns that viserys has died, the first thing he does is head to his mother’s room to offer his support, then when alicent asks criston to find aegon for her, aemond offers to join him).

aemond’s relationship with vhagar is different from the one with his family, he knows she accepts and loves him unconditionally. she can feel what he feels, so he can’t hide his true emotions from her, she sees him for who he truly is and, i think, knows him more than anyone. aemond and vhagar bonded due to their similarities of feeling lonely and like they didn’t belong….and this brings me to alys. idk about your and everyone else’s thoughts on their relationship, but i think their relationship has so much potential. he could identify with alys similarly to how he does with vhagar and develop a deep connection with alys through their potential similarities and we could see the facade break away….and i’ll just leave it at that.

[snow-143]

Water Coloured Tears | Jeon Jungkook

four- don’t waste my time (1.2k words)

Caffeine. What I need is caffeine, a lot of it, I decide. Maybe a pint of ice cream too.

I woke up at 9am. I'm not sure why, I never wake up early unless I absolutely have to, but when I took a look at my phone the call had not long ended.

I wish I could say that I've been productive in the past four and a half hours but that would simply not be true. I've been pacing around my apartment, more than likely disturbing my roommate.

More than likely is an understatement, I definitely disturbed him, he made that obvious when he came storming out of his room to throw a pillow at my head. I suppose I owe him a thanks considering that the well aimed pillow is what made me finally leave the apartment. 

Which brings me back to my first point, I need caffeine, it's all I can bring myself to think about on my way to the café. Favouring the thought of the bitter liquid rather than the anxiety filling my chest. 

At least with me getting there early I'll have time to mentally prepare myself. That's what I was hoping anyway. I even brought a book, hoping I'd have time to read a bit to distract myself, but no. Fate clearly had plans to give me a heart attack instead. 

One might think I'm being dramatic, which I'll admit I do tend to get lost in my emotions a bit. However, I'm not being dramatic when I say my heart stopped. Will I ever get use to seeing his stupid face again?

Sighing I make my way over to him, not before sending a longing glace over to the counter. 

When I finally reach him he's staring directly at me, looking like a deer in headlights. You'd think that I had forced him here by the way he's peering up at me.

'Quit looking at me like I'm holding you for ransom,' One thing about me is that I am not a morning person in the slightest, I may have been up for hours now, and maybe it's not even morning anymore but from the very little sleeping I had I would die to go back to bed right now. So in my eyes it is definitely still morning and I am in no mood to be looked at like I'm forcing my presence on somebody. 

'Sorry,' his voice is small, timid. Although, I'm glad he's shifted his gaze from me I can't help but feel guilty at my harsh tone.

Deciding to distract myself, and him, I move the conversation onto the project instead, 'So, are you wanting to start taking photos today or just go over what we want the over all project to look like?'

And there's that look again, that's when I realise he's brought nothing with him. Not the camera, his laptop and not even a note book or sketch book. 'Jungkook, please tell me you havent dragged me here just to waste my time.'

'I havent dragged you here just to waste your time?' His expression is far to sheepish for me to even entertain the idea that he might be telling the truth.

'Enlighten me then, what was your plan when you invited me here?'

When no reply comes I stand up to leave, 'Message me when you're actually ready to work on this project, until then don't waste my time again.' 

At least I'll save money on the extortionate prices of coffee on campus.

'Hey, wait a minute.' Without me even realising he's spun me around to face him again, holding my wrist much like he did after we got paired together. 'We can at least go over what we want the project to look like while were here.'

Sighing, I meet his eyes, actually meet his eyes instead of avoiding them like I have been, 'Only if you pay for my coffee, Jeon.' At this he smiles.

'You and your caffeine addiction.' It's said as a mutter. As an inside joke. A joke we used to share.

Without even waiting for a reply from me he's already making his way to the counter. I amuse myself with the thought of what he's going to order me, the picture of him trying to find something to order for me is a funny one. I just hope he picks something I'll actually enjoy.

Before I know it he's setting a drink in front of me and taking his seat opposite to me.

Looking at my drink my smile vanishes. He got my exact order. My completely bazar order that everyone questions me on. Even my favourite cookie to go with it.

My smile is back, a sad one now. Sitting here with him now feels far to familiar to when we went to visit colleges together. 

I would always insist on visiting the cafes, and well he would amuse my request. I would insist that I couldn't go to a college that didn't have good coffee. 

Now that I think about it we came to this café back then, sat at the table just left to us. Now it's occupied by a couple, giggling over a shared slice of cake.

I wonder if that's what we looked like back then. Wonder if there was someone in a situation similar to mine now looking at us with resentment at our happiness. I know that that's what I'm feeling right now at least. And I know that It's petty of me.

'So, I'm sure you've already got plenty of ideas for this project. What are your thoughts?' His words snap me out of my trans, bringing me back to the current situation. 

He's right, I've already got so many ideas. 

My favourite being that we make pieces that seem loving but you can change them to look heart broken, but also some show loving pieces mixed with the dark side of love. It'll show both sides of being in love, the ups and the downs. 

I also want us to work on one of the pieces together. To show that a relationship is a partnership. Although, a massive part of me is against this as it'll mean more time spent with Jungkook, I'm willing to suck it up for the symbolism.

The rest of the time is spent with me telling him my ideas and him adding onto them. He didn’t fully understand what I meant at first but when I gave some examples me caught on pretty quickly.

I try to ignore his smile when I reveal that I've already gathered some reference pictures so we can be on the same page for the project.

As our professor said, they need to be cohesive and I'm not taking any chances on messing this project up. Even if that means I'll have to work closely with Jungkook. 

'See, I knew you'd already have this all planned out. You don't even need me at this rate.' God did I wish I didn't need him to pass this assignment.

prev | m.list | next

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a/n: ik the art project doesn’t make a lot of sense rn but it’ll be more clear on what she’s planning when they actually start

[thewadapan]

Post-War Escapism in Godzilla Minus One

Many people lauded the period-piece creature-feature Godzilla Minus One as one of the best films of last year. It's definitely not a bad movie! But after finally sitting down to watch it, I was surprised to see very few people talking about some of the film's weaker elements, which stood out to me and my friends as being very obvious shortcomings. In this essay, I talk about post-traumatic fantasy, mixed metaphors, and the Unspoken Plan Guarantee. Smash that "Keep reading" button to keep reading!

This is definitely a more human story than Shin Godzilla, the only other Godzilla flick I've seen, but I think it's less effective at delivering what it sets out to achieve.

The film's opening is easily the best part of the movie, unburdened by thematic considerations, narrative momentum, or tons of CGI in broad daylight. We're introduced to our protagonist, Shikishima, a kamikaze pilot who's clearly fled his duty, landing at an island repair base which is promptly attacked by Godzilla. The kaiju appears differently here to his traditional appearances, a smaller, T-Rex-like predator that runs around biting people in half. Great stuff. We immediately grasp the emotional states of the pilot, experiencing a heady mix of mortal terror and utter shame, and of the head engineer, resenting everything about this guy. Godzilla is quickly established on a thematic level as the embodiment of the senseless violence Shikishima is running from, and on the narrative level as an unstoppable threat.

Shikishima returns to Tokyo to find that his parents are dead and his neighbour, Sumiko, fucking hates him, blaming the bombing of the city (which killed her entire family) on his cowardice. Such is the venom of her invective that she comes off as a vengeful ghost, haunting this poor shellshocked man by reminding him of his sin at every opportunity. We're also introduced to Noriko, a survivor roughly his age, and Akiko, a random orphaned infant she's ended up adopting. They form a kind of found family, with Sumiko in particular intervening to save the baby from starvation.

The film never really allows Sumiko to explicitly state how this affects her feelings, and although I felt her character was well-conceived, this meant she often came off as a bit cartoonish; less a person, and more a stock archetype you see in a shōnen story. The tension between her and Shikishima is very well-established, and the film never delivers on a specific moment of catharsis, where Sumiko admits something along the lines of: "I'm sorry for blaming you for this tragedy. I'd lost everything precious to me, and was lashing out. You are as much a victim as I am. Thank you for giving me a family again." And the thing is, even as I write that, I don't like it, I wonder if there's something more realistic in all of this going unspoken: but what I mean is, Godzilla Minus One is not by any means a subtle fucking movie. It's a WWII film with a giant killer dinosaur in it. The fact that the film did not take a moment to reflect on Sumiko's journey therefore struck me as an oversight rather than a deliberate choice.

Indeed, there's a lot of stuff in this film that feels similarly underdeveloped. I think this is primarily an anti-war film through the specific lens of a) kamikaze pilots and b) Godzilla, but it did not leave me feeling like I had just watched the definitive film about kamikaze pilots, nor the definitive Godzilla film. Although it occasionally gives lip-service to the horror of a government which would so blatantly view its citizens as disposable, it doesn't spare a thought for the many kamikaze pilots who did die; indeed, following that initial terrifying opening, the film is completely bloodless, with only offscreen or heavily-implied deaths taking place, and the finale of the film hinging thematically on an ending where not only does nobody die, but someone believed dead is actually revealed to have been alive after all.

Because ultimately, right, the horror of war isn't that people are dying—that's the horror of a natural disaster, which Shin Godzilla intelligently chose as the lens with which to frame its titular monster—but rather, that people are being killed. It's the fundamental irrationality and evil of one man being compelled to kill another, and this happening over and over again, on a scale beyond the ability of the human mind to fathom; hell, war films exist as an futile attempt to make us fathom it. Godzilla Minus one thus represents the perfect opiate for a nation grappling with its involvement in a senseless and horrific war at the whim of an insane government: it is an encore consisting of a just war, conducted not by the government but by the people, against an inhuman monster, which is defeated through bravery without a single life being sacrificed.

You see a lot of comparisons of this film against Marvel movies, mostly along the lines of "the VFX is so much better! the budget was so much smaller! the story was so much deeper!", but in terms of the fundamental character of the work, I honestly don't see the fucking difference. It's like in Top Gun: Maverick—a film people have compared favourably to this one—which laughably does not even name the country Tom Cruise is flying into to bomb the shit out of or whatever, I haven't seen that film, why the fuck would I want to watch that film?

I have no suggestion for how I would retool the script to fix this perceived shortcoming, because I'm ultimately criticising the fundamental premise of the film. In slightly shifting focus away from Godzilla as the personification of impersonal, indiscriminate nuclear holocaust, towards a more generic view of Godzilla as an embodiment of death and war, the film invites us to think of him more as an invading nation or army, and it didn't work for me, because war is personal and political in a way a big rampaging animal just can't be.

I really hate to say it, but the film was also really let down by many of the performances. Shikishima's minesweeper crew are straight out of a tokusatsu show for children, which I realise is kind of what Godzilla is, but c'mon, nobody's giving a bad performance on purpose! There's one bit where the younger lad takes mock offence at something someone's said, and it's like he's improvising in the background of a high school play. Although the leads themselves were generally better, they were let down in many places by the direction, which was often so melodramatic it wrapped around into being unintentionally funny. Finally, while this is kind of just a problem you run into with a lot of translated media, I felt that the dialogue itself was stilted, boring, and would often belabour the same points over and over ("it is good to live! it is cowardly to die!") instead of allowing the characters to actually express real feelings.

But hey, I am not immune to the charms of a well-choreographed sea battle. The first scene where the minesweeper runs into Godzilla is absolutely phenomenal, great spectacle and tension. The final plan is also well-conceived and visually engaging, but it does suffer from an absolutely textbook narrative stumble: a lot of time is devoted to explaining the plan, and then we see that same plan go off basically without a hitch. Like, it goes wrong, but only in exactly the one way it's obviously going to go wrong, which is to say of course you can't fucking kill Godzilla by sinking him to the bottom of the ocean and then dragging him back to the surface. All the elements of the plan which are kept from the audience with the intent of being surprises later are still so heavily telegraphed that they're not surprising in the slightest: of course those ships are unmanned! Of course there's an ejector seat! I liked the bit with the tugboats, I guess, that was fun, if a little cloying—again, what's the difference between that and "but there are more of us!" in The Rise of Skywalker? Okay, I'm sorry, that was unnecessarily mean of me.

Again, the big problem here is that the film has overplayed its hand with respect to its themes: there's a huge speech about how they're going to try and do what the government couldn't, which is to carry out the plan without sacrificing any lives. Everyone gets to live. It's so direct that you'll very quickly realise Noriko probably isn't dead either. At this point, what are even the stakes of the battle? Do we seriously think the movie is going to end on a note of Shikishima flying his jet into Godzilla's gullet, finally proving the value of kamikaze by using it to kill a big fucking dinosaur? Compare to the final act of Nope (I haven't seen Jaws, the ur-work both of these films are influenced by), which maintains a serious sense of danger throughout. This critical failure to maintain rising and falling tension, even during a scene which literally hinges on Godzilla falling and rising, was entirely avoidable and basically unforgivable.

The film is such a slave to very basic notions of setup and payoff that it sometimes seems to lose track entirely of what it's even trying to communicate. The younger guy on the minesweeper, who never fought in the war, is early on chastised strongly for expressing that he wishes he'd been able to fight. Then in the final act, he's initially denied participation in the plan, but then he shows up to save the day with his fleet of tugboats. I can perceive no subtextual justification for this: it's just, "well, this guy's there earlier in the movie, so he has to be there during the ending too!" Whatever.

Still, all my complaints aside, I ultimately enjoyed the experience of watching this film. It's fun, which I think is the main thing it's trying to be. Godzilla looks great, he has such a wonderful expression on his face. The basic elements of the story have a bit of bite to them. It's a shame, then, that as Sumiko felt towards Shikishima, so too do I feel towards this film: "you were so afraid of death, that you left me with nothing I cared about."

Rating: 7/10

If you've enjoyed this review, you can find dozens of similar essays written for every film I've watched in the last year over on Letterboxd, including this one. Letterboxd definitely favors snappy one-paragraph zingers over in-depth analysis, and I've never had much response on that site, so this is me experimenting with tumblr. I used to post godawful reviews here as a young teen, so I guess I've come full circle!

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Hello my favourite writer in the whole tumblr!

I hope you won't mind my question but i am curious. In NICIY when everyone finds out what really happened with Ivy pregnancies we see all sorts of reactions except of Aegons. So how did he process the murders? Did he even care?

Hello lovely!! Firstly, thank you so much, I am so appreciative 🥰💜

Secondly, whether Aegon does or doesn't "care" about the fact that Daemon has been poisoning Ivy and thereby causing the miscarriages is kind of a complicated question. I would say that he cares as much as he's capable of caring about it, i.e. he cares in a vague, drunken, unhelpful, and absent sort of way.

NICIY Aegon is extremely, pathologically avoidant. He avoids his family and responsibilities because they make him feel inadequate, and he avoids his marriage with Ivy for the same reason. They basically only ever spend time together when a) there is some sort of compulsory royal function or b) they are trying to conceive an heir. Aegon associates the marriage itself with his (very unwanted) position as the future king, and the miscarriages as yet another way in which he has failed (even if people assume Ivy is the problem, medically speaking). He's not emotionally invested in the pregnancies in the same way that most parents would be, and even when he is saddened by the miscarriages he doesn't really know how to express it (see Chapter 3). In Chapter 1, Ivy tells Aemond that Aegon doesn't mention the miscarriages to her, and that's generally true. He expresses some contrition for his shortcomings to Ivy in Chapter 5, but again, everyone admits this interaction is a deviation from the norm.

Whatever Aegon's emotions are, he typically processes them alone and with the help of a lot of wine. I think we can assume that Aegon was angry about what Daemon did, but that the anger paled in comparison to Aegon's general emotional anguish brought about by years of neglect/abuse from his family and feeling trapped in his role as heir.

Ironically, the reveal actually leads to a slight improvement in Aegon's mental health! Chapter 6 Aegon (the next time we see him after the Daemon-poison reveal) is trying to turn over a new leaf to some extent and is more warm to Ivy and the baby. Now that he knows someone else was the cause of the miscarriages (and therefore that he hadn't failed), he feels relieved and like a little bit of pressure has been taken off him and Ivy. There doesn't seem to be any reason why Ivy's current pregnancy shouldn't succeed, and Aegon is realizing that his marriage could possibly become a source of comfort for him rather than stress...until of course he discovers Ivy and Aemond together on Aemond's wedding night! 😂

Similarly, Aegon is able to be more affectionate and honest with Ivy after the decision is made for him to "die" (flee to Navarre) and free himself from his royal responsibilities. The less he feels trapped and/or like a failure, the more communicative and compassionate he is.

[tallbluelady]

16. Daybreak - @littlelordalphinaud

With her brother, Sideritis, and Nanna's sister, Ishtar, out watching the stars on the observatory, Minthe took the offer for another glass of wine inside the house with a chuckle.

"I really did not expect this to go so well so quickly for him," Minthe admitted. "I don't remember him dating much when we grew up. Maybe not having the weight of multiple exes let's him be free..."

"I have to admit, both of your exes sound like a lot of work," Nanna said. "I don't blame you for going home afterwards."

"Thank you," Minthe said.

"Not that most of you Amaurotines are normal in the first place..." he muttered quickly.

"Hey!"

"You call death 'returning to the star'. And I suppose it's true in your kind's case. Most of you go... willingly."

"Once our purpose is fulfilled, then most want to seek their rest," Minthe shrugged. "I have to admit that I'm probably going to noodle around a little longer afterwards. I can't imagine willingly stepping into the Underworld again."

Nanna tilted his head. "Have you been there before?"

Minthe shook her head and groaned. "I can't believe I just told you that..."

He laughed. "Blame the wine. Stars, I've said too much in front of Ishtar and her friends with this stuff."

"And you still drink it?" she laughed back.

"It's fun! Unlike your trip to the Underworld it seems!"

"You're awfully curious about the subject." Minthe said, squinting in suspicion.

"Well, of course I am. The fact that our souls go to reside in a physical location on the Star isn't what we're taught in Ur."

"What are you taught?"

"When we die - and may it be a long time yet - our souls return to the Lifestream. Which... I suppose it having a location in the physical realm isn't all too absurd. I just always assumed it was all around us, not under the ground."

Minthe stared into the fireplace, watching the flames lick the wood hungrily. "You're not wrong either. The fact that there's aether all around us makes sense. But... I guess more of our... personality or pain or soul goes to the Underworld. The previous Emet-Selch told me once that it's just where the aether is densest. It definitely felt that way. It's why despite our ability to travel on the Lifestream, we still rely on aetherytes. Otherwise we get washed into the sea of aether without a trace."

"I knew I hated aetheryte travel for a reason..." Nanna muttered.

"With a bright enough beacon, you can go anywhere. But knowing up from down in rather precarious when you've dissolved yourself down to your constituent aether..."

"Are you sure you're drunk?"

Minthe smiled over her glass. "Oh, I could talk like this til daybreak."

"If the conversation wasn't so interesting I'd get you something stronger. You're so well-versed with these things, yet you go for toxins! Why is that?"

"The Underworld is far too loud."

"That's it?"

Minthe nodded. "Most of it. I mean, the whole thing with the spirits of the dead isn't very comforting, but I could get around that if it was my job. I almost did, for Hades' sake. But the volume of aether and emotions was too much."

"Excuse me, what do you mean by the volume of emotions?"

"The last Emet-Selch said that only a few people have enough empathy to feel the emotions down there, and I was privileged to be able to. But it's just so much. Felt like my ear drums were going to be ruptured, but my soul instead."

"You Amaurotines... Abilities are blessings, yes, but did he ever teach you to reduce your personal pain facing it?"

"I never said it was painful to anyone other than you and Hythlodaeus..." Minthe muttered. "Oh."

"Could no one else ever see it was painful for you?"

"It's fairly overwhelming to most people." Minthe shrugged. "So they thought I would get over it. But then I found my passion elsewhere and that was it."

"I might be presumptuous here, but... maybe that's why Hades thought you'd still go down there. That you'd get used to it or some such."

Minthe hummed and swirled her wine glass.

"And Ariadne. She... honestly, between what you've told me and what Iris has told me, it sounds like she's having a fairly normal reaction to her brother dying."

She looked at Nanna askance.

"Iris said it was sudden and you said the Underworld can be painful. If Sideritis fell off the roof right this second and died, would you say that was a beautiful fate?"

"No, but..."

"But what?"

"She... Ari didn't have to hurt me about it."

Nanna took a breath and paused. "No, she didn't. But there's context for her actions."

Minthe sighed. "I'm not sure that's enough for me to forgive her."

"It doesn't have to be enough. It truly doesn't have to be anything, really. You've just been so distraught over it this whole time. And I can't stand it."

She tilted her head at him. "Nanna, this isn't your problem. Why are you spending so much of your time on it?"

He snorted. "Minthe, you've become my friend. It is my problem. Helping you will make me feel better, believe me."    

"I think I'm starting to."

Thanks for the prompt!

[itsbinghebitch]

"the bdsm is just a part of that that imo doesn't stand on its own without the emotional devastation. thank you for coming to my ted talk"

Exactly! Fucking this!! Like Vegas didn't fall for Pete because he found no other suitable partner sexually. If that's the basis of their relationship, how long would it take for Vegas or Pete to move on when they encounter someone more compatible ( and there always can be someone more compatible).

Also so so true about the pool scene. Pete could have said million other things ( I am not too mad about the "I am hungry", kind of like it) but then he chooses I am your pet, aren't I? And my god I wanted to slap someone. Like whenever I sent asks to people regarding this, they were like oh no no it was to steer Vegas away from harming himself. And I was...like that?! I also wanted more of an ambiguous ending. Like Pete torn between what happened at the safehouse ( the abuse , the talk, the romance, then the devastating day when Gun came etc) and his current feelings ( Vegas risking in to say that he is sorry, Vegas can't make himself shoot at Pete, Vegas confessing and wanting to die by Pete's hands, Vegas being shot at and the horror of losing him). I also think that if Pete was Kinn's most trusted to the point of actually him choosing Pete over Big ( just how?) for the mission...there should be more dilemma on Pete's part. He loves Vegas, might have been the one looking after Macau but there's still his loyalty for the main family. Wanting to be with Tankhun out of his sense of duty. Wanting to be with Porsche ( you know the guy for whom he took on the risky mission?) after his discovery of the not dead mom. And yet Pete isn't now just someone who feels like his purpose is to fade...he has finally been seen.

If that's the basis of their relationship, how long would it take for Vegas or Pete to move on when they encounter someone more compatible

*shouts this from rooftops, blazes this with tumblr blaze* bcuz yes. that's exactly it. you cracked it open everyone else go home

and yes, I'll rectify and say I liked the 'I'm hungry' bit and i love and understand their ongoing hunger motif. it's the pet thing that leaves me..... confused? for lack of a better word? like what does that resolution mean for their third act conflict? if Pete said 'I'm just an object to project your feelings on,' what does it mean that the only ostensible reason for Vegas not killing himself is their pet-owner dynamic? what does it mean for Pete's self-worth statement? how does it make any sense with the later hospital scene, when Vegas admits that Pete is not his pet anymore, but the most important person in his life? these all feel like threads of a conclusion for the pairing, almost as if there were several possible endings in the writers room and Pond said. actually let's just have them all :)

And yet Pete isn't now just someone who feels like his purpose is to fade...he has finally been seen.

let's caveat this with: kinnporsche is a show powered primarily by trope, shock value and melodrama. I try as much as possible to meet it at its own level, but that doesn't mean there can't be good faith critique of what it tries to achieve. your point is exactly why I was left frustrated by much of the latter half of the show. as a viewer you feel gaslit: Vegas claims Pete is the most important person in his life. we get Pete screen time galore. we have Pete go through trials and tribulations, yet why does Pete still feel like an extra? rather than creating a meaningful arc for him, the writing continues treating him as an afterthought.

compare that with Vegas, whose love arc with Pete is beautifully intertwined with his primary internal conflict (his positioning by his father as a competition object to the main family). while Vegas drives the Tawan pinch point and the safehouse arc, it's Pete's own decision to kiss Vegas and start their sexual relationship. his agency doesn't stop there: Pete also makes the decision to escape Vegas and then later on to punish Vegas physically and stick with Vegas as he gets shot and recovers. the reasoning behind these choices remains, however, nebulous to the viewer.

Pete deciding to escape the safehouse after starting a sexual relationship with Vegas--how does it integrate into the larger history of who Pete is? why is a bdsm relationship with his captor appealing to Pete to begin with? why does Pete decide to "take Vegas back" after Vegas's love confession and the parking lot punching during the coup? is this reflective of Pete's values as a character? was that enough for him to consider the conflict resolved?

these are all questions unanswered by the show. Pete feels like an extra because the writing treats him as such: unlike every other protagonist, we don't have a single benchmark for his inner conflicts except a violent past under his father's boxing abuse. at the end of the day, all of his actions are actually re-actions: to Kinn ordering him to follow Vegas, to Vegas's abuse, etc. to me, the only real, fully agentic action Pete takes (as I, the viewer, understand what exactly powers his choices), is when he offers Vegas his own life story in episode 11: I see you and I recognize your pain and suffering. here is how I surpassed mine.

[astroyongie]

Okay i might be a little late to this but i was reading through your posts that i missed since last month cuz I haven’t been online and i feel like there are probably people who need to hear the things I’m about to say.Also I apologise in advance for an extremelyy long rant

So my best friend has an almost identical replica personality to changkyun and let me tell youuu about this type of people.When in relationships with people they don’t have very deep feelings for they don’t really care about their partners side and don’t wanna be tied down,but when they love you they LOVE you.And this doesn’t go just for romantic relationships. They are very genuine with their affections and would literally give you their heart their efforts their time their money their everything like yes they do the cooking yes they do the cleaning lmao.And that’s precisely why they rarely let someone in because they know they get down BAD.They hide their vulnerability.Out of fear that people will use it against them and hurt them because you can actually hurt them soo easily when they care about you.However they do have a tendency to keep their very intense emotions deep inside and then those emotions after being bottled up for a long time explode seemingly out of nowhere so definitely the type of people to show up drunk at your place at like 3 am to confess how much you mean to them.Or you recieve a random text of them saying they love you and you’re like whut but they probably been thinking about how they didn’t show you their love enough and got scared you might leave or something lol.They brag about how they won’t loose their independence and won’t ever be tied down by anyone but what they need and yearn for is the exact opposite.They want all the sappy stuff even though they would rather die than admit it.They built their walls hiigh around themselves but ohh how they wish somebody would penetrate them. And I didn’t hear those things from my bestie either lmao I understood them by observing her as these people never express how they are feeling so i 100% agree with you that they need a very empathetic person since they don’t voice their emotions so there could be a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings,so if you’re someone who needs a lot of verbal validation and have to have everything spelled out for you these folks are definitely not for you.

Changkyun too wouldn’t be insensitive to his partner crying or being upset if he loved them,he would probably still feel uncomfortable when they’re emotional or crying because he wouldn’t know how to react and he would probably definitely avoid them in that moment but he would feel very bad. Definitely wouldn’t straight up apologise unless he really went overboard but would definitely not just let it be either,he would try to show you he’s sorry indirectly by buying you food or a gift or just coming up and hugging you or doing something you love.The people that know him always say he’s very caring and soft and the members even said he was the most romantic member.

So dont worry monbebe changkyun is not a bad person and he’s completely an asshole in relationships either lmao. Both kyun and my girlie are fake bitches who be hiding their mega softness

And you who are dealing with similar people,I know they are hard to understand but don’t worry they probably care about you a lot more than you think you just have to dig deeper to see it.💗

thank you so much for sharing this !!! <3 I honestly think that you explained the whole situation better than I could <3

[carlotaflaneur]

#5 september 2023

EVERY WORD I SAY COULD BE THE LAST ONE

hooooOooooola !

My newsletter has turned into that text from a friend you love dearly but you can hardly ever see each other, so there is no practical end to keeping the chat alive, which leads to you not putting it first and letting it die, and then your heart aches more and more as months go by, because you love them and wanted to share what live has brought to you both. I do think that it's never too late to answer a text... because who wouldn't like to receive a text or a letter that wasn't expected ??? that said, I apologize for not writing; I said my newsletter would be a monthly thing and I broke my commitment.

Now that I'm finally writing, I take this chance to let you know that my email address is hola@carlotaflaneur.com :-) I'll be more than happy to receive letters filled with musical recommendations or impressions on my record, which turned 1 YEAR yesterday !!!

All this time I haven't stopped ruminating on the various reasons why I haven't been sending this newsletter. I've been questioning myself a lot: have I acted lazy ?? I don't think so. I actually think I've been too hard on myself. It's a mental process I'm quite familiar with: a part of me feels what I'm writing to you has to be highly excellent and interesting... so much that I end up not writing, feeling like it wouldn't be enough. It's the same with content for social media (I've been struggling recording videos) and even with songs. I think it's not healthy that perfectionism holds the power behind creativity... I clearly get creative because I need to; but I want to learn to do so from a place of playfulness, passion... rather than high self-demand standards.

june 2023 - with my dad benito going to Primavera Sound in Barcelona (foto: núria gascón)

This last year has been crazy amazing; I've played my album many places, including Primavera Sound (the biggest festival in Spain) and Wales !!!!! my first international gig !!!!! I actually sold some vinyls to english couples who were incredibly supportive, I get emotional when I recall it. A spanish girl -who discovered me thanks to the spanish national radio- who lives in Cambridge drove all along to Wales (3 hours) just to see me play. I hugged her so tight !!! I can retire now.

What a beautiful and hard year !!! I have to admit I've felt overwhelmed every single day and I have a fatigue sensation I cannot get rid of. It's partly because I still don't know how to get rest; even when I push myself to unwind, I end up thinking about my project. And I can't seem to separate Carlota Flâneur from my personal life (I guess it's because I AM Carlota Flâneur hahah). I've learnt a lot about managing my time, but I still have loads to learn in that sense. Vivid proof: I haven't been sending newsletters this last year.

I'm still learning to live with the implications of being my own boss... and that's also beautiful and exhausting. I've been constantly wishing that I had a normal job, where I'm told what to do and how to do it, with very defined responsibilities and getting paid on a regular basis lol. I acknowledge I'd feel empty inside if that was my life, and I'd still need to write songs... maybe a good solution is finding the right balance between being an artist and having a job that pays. I'll tell you how this goes in the future !

Many hugs to you all and I hope that I can see you soon !!

ps: have you seen my website ??? my friend Ayman designed it and programmed it :-)

Carlota

[sevensided]

so with so much confusion what are your predictions for v2?

Oh, excellent question! Thanks for this! I have a few ideas...

I feel like a lot of what I suspected during the hiatus came to fruition, so I'll admit I'm still crowing about a lot of my predictions, especially the Peter/001/Vecna/Creel son twist, which I guessed a while ago. As for new predictions:

I do think 'Vecna's Upside Down' is actually a 'mindscape' e.g. we're in his mind, which is one layer of the broader Upside Down. That there are multiple layers to the UD makes complete sense and explains a lot of the distinctions in how different characters experience the UD. Inception was also listed as inspiration for S04, and that has the whole 'dream layer' thing, so I think that tracks.

I think Joyce, Hopper, and Murray will escape Russia via the UD tunnels back to Hawkins. It's established that the only way they can get out is to 'go under', so that works. I'm also wondering if the Demogorgon Hopper sort of defeated ends up hunting them and following them into the tunnels, where Dimitri sacrifices himself to save the rest of them. Hopper will get an emotional moment and it'll be a good way to galvanise him into action. I haven't seen anyone else suggest that Dimitri is the one to die, so there you go.

As for the teenagers, I think that Robin will get sort of Vecna'd in that she'll get wrapped up in the freaky vines and Nancy and Steve will save her, thus rectifying Nancy's lack of action in S01 when Barb was taken. Rather than Steve and Nancy falling back into each other's arms, I actually think this will act as closure as Barb's death and the events in S01 have not yet been addressed, and it's remained unresolved between them for three years. This acts as the perfect segue for them to become friends, or at least to heal that relationship and move on. Plus, they save Robin, so.

Eddie causing a distraction with the guitar - something a lot of people have discussed and something I'm on board with. Love the idea of there being a storm of demo-bats around him, very Transylvania: The Crimson Crown, I love it.

Will being Vecna'd - not much to say here other than what has already been said. I think it was foreshadowed since S03 that Will would become a focal point again, despite the current discourse that he's been 'forgotten'. I don't think he's been forgotten at all. I believe it's deliberate that he's been continually isolated (visually, from a cinematic point of view; and narratively). Part of that is due to his sexuality, yes, but there's something bigger at play. I've spoken before about how it's become a pattern that the Party focus on Will only when he's in danger/capable of signaling the danger, and there's no reason that theme wouldn't continue in the second half of this season.

As for El... I do wonder if she'll have to decide between killing Brenner or letting him live. This brings us full circle in her Kali/Peter 'am I a monster' morality conundrum, but there's also some validity here, because now she knows - with the value of being older - just how much Brenner has manipulated and controlled her. He's quite literally the gatekeeper of her memories (see: Nina machine). So for her to kill him would be cathartic. Perhaps it's not even her killing him, but making the decision to save him or let him die. Just a thought, but I don't think Brenner is making it out alive.

Edit: Oh, and I should say that in the context of Mike and Will, I definitely think they're setting it up for S05!

Tl;dr Brenner and Dimitri are dying, bet you anything.

[dameronology]

the one with all the yelling {obi-wan x reader}

summary: after making a stupid decision in battle and having an argument with your best friend, a confession slips out that surprises both of you (or maybe it doesn’t)

this is a reupload bc i took it down for editing. as usual, this has lots of swearing in, just a pre-warning. enjoy!!

- jazz

They say that time slows down when you’re about to die - that your life flashes before your very eyes. You’re supposed to see the thing you love most, the people you value most. It was meant to be a final moment filled with a lifetime of emotions, of memories; regrets and mistakes; unfulfilled wishes and incomplete to do lists. The way it was described was hauntingly poetic, the sort of thing almost made you want to to experience it just so that you could understand what it felt like.

And, having witnessed a near-death experience in recent hours, you could safely conclude that everything in the aforementioned paragraph was a steaming pile of horse shit.

There was nothing graceful or cinematic about the way you had yeeted yourself across the battle-field, mud unceremoniously flying up around your ass as you kicked Obi-Wan Kenobi out of the line of fire. The blaster fire was inches away from your face - mere inches - and that, of all things, was when you figured the final moments might have come.

Instead, all you got was a hit to the shoulder and a mouth full of dirt. You were very much alive - but after coughing up an unflattering amount of earth and clambering back to your feet with all the grace of a beached whale, the same could not be said for your dignity.

At the forefront of things, you’d been trying to save your best friend’s life. That was all you could think about when you’d launched yourself discourteously towards Obi-Wan; he couldn’t die. Too many people - yourself included - needed him. And, you were certain that if you hadn’t been killed saving his ass, the sudden lack of reason from his presence in your life would have killed you anyways. The man stopped you from walking into traffic on the daily.

You weren’t entirely sure what to say to Obi-Wan. You were sitting on the end of his bed, fresh out of the shower and bundled up in an oversized tunic that belonged to the man pacing in front of you. For a man of many words, he was disturbingly quiet as he stitched you up and even more so when he helped you undress and get into the shower.

What sort of thing were you supposed to say in this situation? Sorry that I booted you up the arse and sent you flying six foot through the air? I had your best interests at heart, I promise.

‘Personally, I am rather pleased with the fact I am still alive.’ You broke the icy silence that had befallen you. Obi-Wan immediately stopped in his pacing tracks, head turning to face you with a bewildered look. Maybe that wasn’t the best conversation opener.

‘How could you…’ Obi-Wan went to say something but his words were lost. He’d witnessed you do a lot of stupid things but this one took the cake. This was stupid thing to end all stupid things. ‘Why would you - actually, I don’t even know what to say.’

‘I mean a thank you would probably suffice.’ You muttered. ‘I did just take a bullet for you.’

‘How could you have been so stupid?!’ He snapped. ‘You could have died!’

‘I was trying to save you!’ You reminded him.

Right. There was that - the alarmingly obvious thing that he’d been trying not to think about.

Obi-Wan couldn’t deny his feelings for you; you’d always been his slightly kooky best friend but maker, he adored you. Life as a Jedi could be dark but you were his nightlight - a soft glow to guide him to brighter things, to remind him that not all was lost.

He’d spent hours convincing himself that you didn’t feel the same. You were too busy running around with what Obi-Wan was certain was a singular brain cell, getting yourself into trouble and making questionable decisions. But, now that you’d quite literally thrown yourself into the line of fire for him? It was certainly a compelling piece of evidence to the contrary.

(Of course, you loved him too. You’d been in love with him since the day you’d met. That was a minor detail you’d chosen not to mention to him - avoiding the truth wasn’t the same as lying, right?)

‘I don’t need saving.’ Obi-Wan said.

‘Oh, please.’ You snorted. ‘You might be Jedi Master Kenobi of the High Jedi Council, Best Jedi To Ever Jedi and Regular Shagger of the Jedi Code-’

‘- you used the word Jedi a few too many times there-’

‘- but you are not bulletproof!’

‘Neither are you!’

‘But I’m alive, aren’t I?’ Your tone was suddenly soft. ‘I’m in one piece.’

‘Barely.’ He murmured. ‘You can’t do things like that.’

‘Well, I did.’ You would have raised your voice louder had your shoulder not been screaming in pain. ‘And stomping around like a pissy toddler isn’t going to change it.’

The most terrifying part - for both of you, truthfully speaking - was how quickly you had done it. You hadn’t even thought about it; you saw red and you launched yourself into the blaster’s path without even considering the consequences. The most important thing to you in that moment had been that Obi-Wan’s life was at risk and it had led to a sudden disregard for your own.

‘I’ll get better.’ You continued. ‘I’m only signed off for a few weeks and as soon as I’m on the mend I will be back in the field. It’ll be like nothing ever happened-’

‘- but it did happen.’ Obi-Wan cut you off. ‘I’m always going to remember that you risked your life for me without even having to think about it.’

Grabbing onto the poster of his bed, you pulled yourself up and slowly approached him. Obi-Wan almost backed away when his robe inched off your shoulders, revealing the nasty red gash just by your collarbone. The idea quickly slipped away, however, when you rested your hands on his forearms, hands slipping under his sleeves and intertwining your fingers.

‘What else would I do?’ You softly laughed. ‘It’s you, Obi.’

‘Would you have done the same for someone else?’ He asked. ‘For Anakin? Or for Ahsoka?’

You faltered slightly, grip on him loosening a tiny bit. ‘Of course.’

‘Y/N.’

‘What?’

‘Don’t lie.’ He suddenly jerked his hands away from you, spinning around on his heel so that you were suddenly facing his back.

‘Fine.’ You grumbled. ‘I would only do it for you. I would only blindly throw myself in front of a bullet for you. Not anyone else. Not a single soul. Does that make you happy? Does that inflate your ego enough, Kenobi-’

‘- that’s not what this is about.’

‘Then tell me!’ You let out a small groan of pain as you grabbed him by the material of his shirt, using every last ounce of energy to make him look at you again. ‘Tell me what it’s about because you are not making sense and I am the world’s leading expert in that field.’

‘It’s not about anything.’

‘Oh, bullshit!’ You whacked his arm, adrenaline worming its way into your tired body and finally allowing you to raise your voice. ‘I just saved your fucking life and you’re acting like a moody son of a bitch and accusing me of lying!’

‘It’s because I love you!’

‘Well, I love you too!’

‘Great!’

‘Fine!’

‘Wonderful!’

‘Brilliant!’

‘Well I’m glad we cleared that up!’

‘Me too!’

‘We should probably stop shouting!’

‘Good idea!’

You unballed your fists just in time to catch the material of Obi-Wan’s shirt as he stepped towards you, taking you by the waist and pulling you towards him. He crashed his lips into yours, knocking the air from your lungs as he did. You’d thought about kissing him many times - more than you were willing to admit, actually - but now that you were actually here, with a handle tangled in his soft hair and his warm lips moving against yours?

Nothing could have prepared you for this moment - for the declaration of love or the kiss or the way he was holding onto you, hands desperately gripping to your waist as though you were about to slip away into the darkness of the galaxy and leave him alone forever. Just a few hours ago, that had been a very real possibility.

You’d admitted to yourself earlier that you probably couldn’t have survived in a world without Obi-Wan Kenobi. Little did you know that he’d admitted to himself years before that he couldn’t have survived without you.

‘I love you.’ His words were softer now, barely a whisper against your lips as pressed his forehead to yours.

‘If I’d known that almost dying was all it took to make you tell me, I would have done it years-’

‘-Y/N.’ He groaned.

‘Sorry.’ You smiled softly. ‘I love you too.’

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol.7 Mukami Ruki [TRACK 1]

Original title: 砂の上

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 7 Mukami Ruki

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Takahiro Sakurai

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

TRACK 1: ON TOP OF THE SAND

*Flip*

*Scribble scribble*

[00:10] ( Kou, Yuma, Azusa. I can only assume the three of you will be rather surprised to suddenly receive this letter. However, I simply had no other choice but to wait to inform you of the following. I can very much imagine your faces turning pale as this message will - quite literally - cause an outburst of emotion. (1) I am truly grateful to you guys for forgiving me for leaving the house with her, even though I am well aware that you are all equally worried about her. Thanks to that, we are now able to spend a peaceful time together. I fear that...she does not have much time left. That is exactly why I am sending you this letter. Because there is something I must tell you. While you may be surprised and even opposed to the idea at first, I believe that you three - as my younger brothers - will come to accept my decision. )

[01:21] “...They will, right? Although I’m sure they’ll at least be upset since I didn’t come and tell them face-to-face. However, I don’t want to leave this place now. There is not much time left after all.”

*FLASHBACK STARTS*

You walk up to the door of Ruki’s bedroom.

*Knock knock*

[01:52] “I’m awake. Come on in.”

You enter his room.

“You don’t come and visit me this late at night very often. Is something the matter?”

You shake your head.

“You came here without a reason?”

You explain.

“I see. You are hoping I will help kill some time by keeping you company during your sleepless night, correct?”

[02:18] “Haha...I’m kidding. I was going to check up on you later as well, so this works. Come on, don’t keep standing by the door and join me over here.”

*Thud*

You walk over and take a seat next to Ruki, asking him whether he was about to go to sleep himself.

[02:41] “No, I was going to read a few more pages of this book first.

You ask about the title.

“It’s a collection of proverbs by La Rochefoucauld. Want to take a look inside?”

He hands you the book.

*Flip*

“While all of his writings are rather sarcastic, I find them rather intriguing. I suppose you could say they fit my character.”

You look at the book and frown.

[03:07] “Hm? Ahー I suppose you can’t read it, can you? If you wish, I can translate for you. Go ahead and pick one.”

*Rustle*

[03:18] “That one, huh? …’There are few who understand death, as most people meet their end through stupidity or custom, rather than having found peace with said unavoidable fate.’... It reads something along those lines. Then afterwards he continues to say that most people die, simply because they believe this is their fate.”

You ask Ruki about his opinion. 

[03:47] “I thought his logic made a lot of sense when I read this. Not only is a human’s lifespan limited, but those who live in times of peace have few very encounters with death. I assume many people die when they believe their time has come, without any true understanding or resolve about their own death. As a Vampire, even if we wait for that moment, we never find ourselves at a point where death is our only option.”

You frown.

[04:13] “I suppose this is not the sort of thing to talk about before bed, is it? You would probably...”

*Flip*

“...enjoy something like this much better.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. 

“While I will not blame you for seeming surprised, I did not purchase this magazine without a reason. I marked one of the pages in the beginning by folding the corner, see?”

*Flip*

[04:38] “Kou is featured in it. While I am no longer worried about him at this point, I figured I would browse through it just in case. He was rather boastful about it himself and I must admit, it was not bad. As a result, they had to print additional copies of the magazine.”

You giggle.

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

You note how you’re glad to see him speak so proudly of his siblings. 

[05:04] “...Why would I not be happy about my brothers doing well? Especially since they’ve caused me quite a bit of trouble in the past.”

You ask if you can read it.

“Yeah. Go ahead and flip through it as you like. In the meantime, I’ll continue reading my book as well.”

*TIMESKIP*

*Thud* 

[05:28] “...Phew.”

*Flip*

“You’re still not done? Kou’s feature is only a couple of pages, no?”

You explain.

“The other pages as well? I didn’t know you were interested in the idol world.”

You tell him there’s a few interesting ones in there.

“Hooh…?”

He leans in close.

[05:54] “So, which one is it?

You tilt your head to the side.

“I’m asking which one of these men captured your eye.”

You deny his statement. 

“I’m not too far off though, am I? After all, you only had attention for him, even though I was right beside you. ーーCome on, which one do you like? Tell me.”

You close the magazine.

“Why did you close the magazine? I can’t see anything like this.”

You refuse to tell him.

[06:26] “Hah. Now you have quite the nerve to say such a thing to your Master. For one, I’d dare say you are the stubborn one, wouldn’t you agree? You have the nerve to let some other man catch your attention regardless of me being right there as well. You should have expected that wouldn’t exactly put me in a great mood. I can only assume you were hoping to get a reaction out of me.”

You deny it.

[06:51] “Perhaps I have been a little too lenient with you as of late, as proven by that tone of yours. It appears I will have to teach you some manners again very soon. Going to sleep will be put on hold for now. I doubt I will be able to enjoy a peaceful rest under these circumstances.”

You frown, wanting to help him feel better.

“You should know exactly what to do to improve my mood, no?”

*Rustle*

[07:20] “Furthermore, you did not possibly come visit me in my room this late at night and assume that nothing else would happen, did you?”

You get flustered.

“If you understand what I’m getting at, then offer your blood to me voluntarily. Do not make me go through extra trouble.”

You loosen your collar.

“I will give you credit for being obedient. However…”

*Rustle*

[07:50] “I wish you would have at least moved close enough to allow my fangs to sink into your skin right away. Oh well...I’d say you did an excellent job based on your cooperativeness alone.”

*Rustle*

“Your skin feels chilled...Were you cold this whole time?”

You reluctantly nod.

“Honestly, I can’t believe you...Tell me instead of keeping quiet about it. I suppose it’s fine. I will warm you up right away.”

Ruki bites you. 

[08:23] “Mmh...Nn… ー Hah. You really are cold. Good grief. Just how long did you endure this for? Even if I am sitting right beside you, I can’t read your mind. You happen to have a bad habit of hiding important things.” 

You avert your gaze.

“...What’s wrong?”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Oh? Not only did you take initiative coming to my room, but now you’re jumping into my arms as well. Seems like someone has learnt a thing or two about seducing a man, huh?”

You get worried.

[09:09] “Do you really think I would dislike the thought of the woman I love longing for me? I do not dislike seeing this side of you. Well, I am somewhat worried I might not be able to control myself, but I am sure you would not mind that, would you? I will suck even more of your blood next. Just as you wish.”

Ruki bites you again.

*Sluuuurp*

“Mm..Nnh…”

*Gulp*

“Nn...Hahー...”

*Rustle*

[09:53] “...Ah. Usually this is the part where you start to protest and leave me longing for more, but today you’re really seeking my attention. At this rate, I really might not be able to let you go again. Are you willing to take that risk?”

You nod.

[10:16] “You really are very honest tonight. While I should be happy at this, I can’t deny it throws me off slightly. That being said, I do not intend to stop any time soon. I will support you in case you start to feel faint, so just entrust your body to me.”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) The verb 飛ぶ or ‘tobu’ is often used within the DL franchise to refer to someone either losing their mind from pleasure or any other intense emotion. (In this case, I suppose anger would be more accurate.)

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Prompt idea: Geralt gets a contract for a monster that has been sighted nearby. When he tracks it down, he is surprised to find mothman!Jaskier who (much like actual mothman) has an ass that won’t quit.

?

I just want you to know that Mothskier now lives in my head rent free 24/7. I love him. I would die for him. This is my new favorite emotional support au.

2k-ish words - please feel free to shove comments through the bars of my enclosure, I would really like that

art by the ever-wonderful @mawbwehownets, whose drawing of Mothskier made me legit cry.

tw: mild injury, brief blood mention, strangers to lovers

---

“So what you’re saying,” Geralt raises an eyebrow slowly, curious, “Is that you need me to catch a monster that’s half man and half moth?”

“Yup.”

“Alright,” Geralt pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. The frustrated Witcher takes a slow breath to calm and center himself, before he ends up botching the entire contract-writing process. Humans tend to grow attached to the strangest monsters sometimes, and apparently this mysterious local being was no different. “Let me get this totally straight, so there are no mistakes or misunderstandings. You want me to capture this man-moth and get it out of your woods, but you don’t want me to kill it?”

“He’s called the Mothman, and he’s pretty damn stubborn about sticking around,” the aging farmer corrects Geralt with a little frown. Then his expression shifts and he smiles in a way that seems almost apologetic. “We were hoping you could find a way to relocate him without hurting or killing him, Master Witcher.”

“That’s completely possible, if he isn’t attached to this specific patch trees by any magical or biological means. You said his natural habitat is just… the forest?”

“As long as there's an abundance of pine around he seems pretty happy. Before he came to live with us, Mothman lived in a heavily forested area up the coast; or at least that’s what the historical records and local mythology seem to indicate.”

“That’s actually pretty helpful information to have on hand, I’m impressed,” Geralt nods. “Alright, Mr. Stevens. I promise to relocate the poor thing without killing or maiming him, and I’ll be sure to take him somewhere far enough away that your crops won’t be in danger. Thanks for calling me first instead of just going straight to an extermination service.”

“Honestly, Master Witcher,” the farmer sighs and readjusts his dirty baseball hat, “If it weren’t for the mischief he’s been getting into lately, we would have let him stick around until spring. I hate to admit it to a man as strong and stern-faced as yourself, but the poor creature is almost… adorable at times.”

“Well that’s a first,” Geralt chuckles, honestly amused by the situation he’s found himself in. “A monster being referred to as ‘adorable’ rather than ‘terrifying’. I’ve never heard such a thing in my many years of life.”

“Then you’d better prepare yourself, Sir Geralt. He’s got a pair of big blue puppy-dog eyes that’ll knock you on your ass if you aren’t careful. And that’s coming from a man who raised three daughters with dimples.”

“Hmm. Fuck.”

---

Geralt knows enough about moths to come up with a plan he thinks will work.

Before he heads into the woods to find and capture the poor wandering creature, the Witcher takes a detour through the lighting section of the nearest Lowe’s.

---

Unfortunately for Geralt, the farmer was right about the power of Mothman’s puppy dog eyes, which are big and blue and begin to water as soon as the Witcher’s net knocks him to the ground. The creature lies in a whimpering tangle of limbs beneath the heavy, magically enhanced restraints. Geralt takes an opportunity to look at what the locals called "a cryptid".

Mothman has a long, lithe body that's covered in a light layer of grey-brown fur, but his hair resembles that of a human’s, falling over those enormous blue eyes in a lovely chestnut fringe. When Mothman sees the swords on Geralt’s back he cries out in panicked recognition and tries to pull his arms up far enough to shield his face. The lamp Geralt used to lure him into the clearing is still bathing him in a pool of yellow light; it’s almost pretty for a monster, Geralt notes.

As the Witcher takes a step forward, the cryptid squeaks and buries his face against his own shoulder. His entire frame is trembling.

“Hey there, shhhhh,” the Witcher murmurs quietly. He drops into a squat and holds both hands up to show Mothman that they’re weapon free. Tears are now falling freely down the creature’s surprisingly human face; whoever or whatever this is, they are likely some kind of Fae. “I’m not here to hurt you, I just want to get you back through the veil.”

“Liar,” Mothman huffs. His voice has a surprisingly musical quality to it and Geralt is now sure of his Fae parentage (or grand-parentage).

“I promise I’m not lying,” Geralt reassures him, slowly crawling forward. When he reaches for the nearest corner of the net, he feels all of Mothman’s muscles go tense. “I’m going to lift this up and I am going to restrain you, but I swear that I’m not going to kill you. I wish to cause as little distress as possible. Is that alright, Mothman?”

The creature hisses and yanks his foot back away from where Geralt’s hand had nearly touched it. “Jaskier.”

“Hmm?” Geralt glances up, raising an eyebrow.

“My name is Jaskier,” the Fae repeats, glaring up from between the sections of woven rope that make up the heavy net. “Not Mothman.”

“My apologies, Jaskier,” Geralt bows his head. He words his introduction carefully, in case this thing can manipulate his name like others of his kind: “You may refer to me as Geralt.”

“That’s your real name,” Jaskier states. The Witcher’s head snaps up.

“How did you know?”

“Hmm,” Jaskier sticks his tongue out as he mimics the sound Geralt made earlier. “Not telli-AH! Stop! Oh go- gods, stop! Please!”

Geralt drops the short section of rope he’s trying untangle from around Jaskier’s ankle and snaps his eyes upwards, already searching for damage. “What’s wrong!?”

“My wing!” Jaskier bawls. His scent spikes out through the clearing, sharp with panic and pain. The creature’s chest begins to shake more violently than before, his shoulders shuddering with the rising force of his sobs, “It’s t-t-torn! Oh gods, my wing! Sir Witcher, p-please!”

Geralt freezes, his gaze settling on the torn section of Jaskier’s large, furry wing. It’s a nasty wound near one of the joints, a faint trickle of barely-luminescent blood has already dried around the edges. Jaskier tries to flutter it a little and screams in agony when the muscles shift too suddenly, shrilly enough that Geralt needs to cover his hypersensitive ears. The Witcher's heart crashes down into his boots; based on the way the shivering Fae has gone pale and silent, the pain is too much for him to process. He’s gone into shock.

A torn wing is exactly the kind of thing Geralt had promised the farmer (and the collective of townspeople he represented) wouldn’t happen to the peaceful moth creature if they hired a Witcher instead of an exterminator. He sighs and gives the strange being another once-over. “Everything's alright, Jaskier. You’re going to be alright. I’m so, so sorry that you've been wounded. We’ll get you out of this net and get you something for the pain, but it’s going to hurt a little to untangle you. Stay still, don’t struggle, and it’ll be over soon.”

“J-Just kill me,” Jaskier pants. He’s continuing to hyperventilate and Geralt needs him to calm down before he passes out. The Fae reaches a hand for the dagger at Geralt's waist and the Witcher twists out of reach with a frown. Jaskier sobs again, fingers still seeking, “I might n-n-never fly a-again so just k-kill me!”

“Breathe with me, Jaskier,” the Witcher instructs, forgoing patience and cutting through the net with that same dagger. He scoops Jaskier up into his arms, ignoring the keening sound at the back of Jaskier’s throat when his wing is jostled, and rushes the Fae to his truck, tucking him into the passenger’s seat and wrapping him in a large, fluffy blanket. “I’m taking you to my friend. She’s an expert at healing magical creatures and I'm certain that she'll get your wing fixed in no time.”

Jaskier doesn’t give an answer. When Geralt looks up into the creature’s face again, the injured Fae has already passed out.

---

Jaskier moves with all the grace of a newborn foal as he explores the room Geralt has provided for him. His wing has been inspected, treated, and bandaged by a rather scary sorceress named Yennefer, who glared at the Witcher the entire time she was caring for him. She had also taken one of Geralt’s old t-shirts and cut an enormous hole in the back for Jaskier’s wings to fit through. The shirt’s bottom hem falls to the middle of his thighs and the thick black material is softer than anything he’d ever felt before.

He hears a knock on the door and calls out, “It’s open!”

Geralt enters slowly, bearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a mug of tea. “I brought you some last minute supplies and - uh… I brought you some tea. Yen always likes some before she goes to sleep and I figured since this was a new place and new places can be scary that I should-”

“Thank you,” Jaskier interrupts, smiling shyly. His antennae twitch happily as he takes the offerings from Geralt's hands and the Witcher watches them with wide eyes. Jaskier carefully sets the pajamas and the tea on the nightstand before turning back to look at Geralt. “I will… see you tomorrow?”

Geralt gives one sharp nod. “Hmm.”

“Goodnight,” Jaskier sing-songs, taking a seat on the edge of the bed as Geralt exits.

From the other side of the closed door, Jaskier’s superior hearing picks up the Witcher’s final whisper: “Goodnight, Jaskier. I will always be sorry for causing you pain.”

The next morning he meets Geralt at the breakfast table, refreshed and ready to learn about the human world. He’s summoned a glamour in order to hide his more Moth-like traits, the only things that remain of his true nature are his wings and antennae; his fur is gone and he’s dressed in a pair of sweatpants and that same old shirt. The Witcher offers him a bowl of fruit and mug of something sweet-smelling. Jaskier glares into the mug with a slight pout to his lips before finally asking, “What is this?”

“Hot chocolate.”

Jaskier takes a sip and his antennae flutter, twitching happily as he swallows the best drink he’s ever had in his long life. He eats a strawberry from the bowl and slowly works his way through the hot chocolate, eyeing Geralt warily as the Witcher moves through the familiar kitchen to make his own breakfast.

“Where is Yennefer?”

“She went home,” Geralt shrugs.

“She isn’t your mate?”

“N-No,” Geralt sputters, turning to stare at the nervous young Fae. “Why would you think that?”

“You smell like each other.”

“We spend a lot of time together,” Geralt shrugs again. “Good friends, that’s all.”

“Hmm,” Jaskier mimics his host for a second time. Rather effectively by the annoyed twitch at the corner of Geralt’s mouth. “Just wondering.”

“Anything else you’re curious about?”

“Why don’t you have more lights?”

“Huh?”

“Lights,” Jaskier gestures around the minimalistic layout of Geralt’s open-concept kitchen/living room and its distinctive lack of lamps. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans forward against the dark marble countertop. The pout has gone from 'slight' to 'full-bore' and Geralt is clinging desperately to his braincell with how cute it looks. “It’s no fun.”

“You really like lamps, don’t you?” the Witcher replies, mouth dry. Jaskier huffs and takes another sip of his hot chocolate, antennae flickering back and forth in irritation. Geralt bites his lip to hide a smile; it’s too fucking cute, which is an odd thought for a Witcher to have.

“So what if I do enjoy a nice lamp or five in my living space?” Jaskier argues. "I'm a Moth of taste."

“No matter,” Geralt laughs quietly. “Finish your drink before it gets cold.”

---

Jaskier stays with Geralt for a few weeks while his wing heals, and for a creature whose sole interest seems to be fancy light fixtures, the Fae becomes a source of light in Geralt's own world. They go to a nonhuman friendly second-hand store to find Jaskier some more clothes and Geralt discovers the cryptid's love for oddly patterned shirts in bright colors. Jaskier chooses several to fill out his closet, as well as a sweater two-sizes too large in deep black (Geralt tries his best not to attach any meaning to this choice), a few pairs of pants, and a jean jacket that he declares, "Can be altered."

They watch movies together and make food together - Jaskier is always incredibly impressed by the way the automatic coffee maker works, and how easily Geralt can control the flames of the stove. Jaskier also follows the Witcher along on less dangerous hunts and helps bandage him up after worse ones, always there with a smile and a little kiss over the cleaned-up wound.

“It really is magic,” Jaskier always insists, lips pink and shining from licking them as he concentrates. "It makes you heal faster."

Geralt realizes one night - two weeks into Jaskier’s stay, as he leans against the doorframe and watches the strange creature’s even breathing - that he has gone and done the stupidest thing a Witcher can do: fall in love with a pretty, temperamental young Fae. Head over fuckin’ heels, actually.

So he makes a decision.

---

The next evening, after the dinner dishes have been cleaned and put away, Geralt herds Jaskier down the hall to the guest room. Those entrancing blue eyes blink up at him in obvious confusion. “Bedtime already?”

“No, not quite. I just- I made you… uh…”

“Do you have a surprise for me?” Jaskier asks, used to the Witcher's issues with verbalizing.

Geralt nods, relieved and thankful for the Fae’s steadfast understanding. “Do you want to cover your eyes or should I just open the door and show you?”

“I’ll close my eyes,” Jaskier smiles, covering his eyes with both hands. Geralt finds it adorable, as Jaskier always is, and allows himself a matching grin as he swings the door open. The ceiling light is off but Geralt has built a blanket fort at the center of the room and surrounded it with fairy lights of all colors and sizes. Inside the blanket fort is a mass of blankets and pillows; Jaskier has the odd habit of building nests - Geralt jokingly calls them cocoons - and sleeping in those on the floor instead of on the very comfortable mattress the Witcher has provided.

“Open them,” Geralt urges.

Jaskier pulls his hands away and Geralt watches as his pupils go huge and wide. Jaskier's face breaks out in the sunniest, most blindingly happy smile Geralt has ever seen. He turns and throws his arms around the Witcher, his wings fluttering behind him and his antennae twitching and flicking above his head. He tries desperately to speak but only manages a half-snuffled little “I’m-” before bursting into tears of joy.

Geralt just holds him, letting his arms fold carefully around Jaskier’s waist, just beneath his wings.

"I just wanted you to know that, if you wanted to stay, there would be room for you. Your room, if you want it."

"I do," Jaskier smiles, burying his face in the Witcher's neck. "I'd love to stay. I'd love nothing more than to spend my days going on adventures with you."

"Well then," Geralt gathers all of his courage and presses a soft kiss to the crown of Jaskier's head. He's met with happy spasms from the antennae so he does it again. And again. Moving from the top of the Fae's head to his cheeks and then his mouth - pretty and pink and pouting and so worth the trouble. "I suppose we can get started on our next adventure tomorrow."

[psychewritesbs]

Chapter 160: How much of Yuji’s life has been orchestrated? + Megumi the stage-five clinger

Happy JJK-Sunday!

If I had to describe chapter 160 with as few words as possible, I would say: Oh f*ck...

My favorite moment was, of course, Megumi acting like a stage-five clinger. His interaction with Yuji in this chapter is especially ominous in light of Yuji being adamant of protecting Megumi from Sukuna.

A second favorite was Sasaki showing up in this chapter because of the implications moving forward.

Let’s jump right in. 

How much of Yuji’s life has been orchestrated by Kenjaku?

We start the chapter with Kenjaku talking to none other than Sasaki, one of the members of the Occult Club at the high school in Sendai that Yuji used to attend.

Of course, the bomb that Gege dropped on us in this chapter is when Kenjaku thanks Sasaki “for getting along with my son”. 

Like... excuse you?

Not only does this 100% confirm that Kenjaku used Yuji’s mother’s body to give birth to him, but this specific moment + some foreshadowing from previous chapters also opens an interesting can of worms about Yuji’s life: just how much of Yuji’s life has Kenjaku orchestrated?

For me, the implication is that Sasaki had an assigned role to play in Yuji’s life that would inevitably lead to him eating Sukuna’s finger. 

I am assuming this because although we don’t see Kenjaku’s interactions with the other people in Sendai, we get to see that, in addition for thanking her for getting along with Yuji, Kenjaku is incredibly kind to Sasaki. We also learn that she’s the only one who has received a special message from him (thanking her).

Ready to make this whole interaction more ominous? Someone pointed out that the kanji in Sasaki’s name means assistant. 

All of this brings us right back to Yuji’s free will--or lack thereof?

We already know that Kenjaku claims he made Yuji “ingest” Sukuna’s finger and that Megumi is rightfully concerned with this idea because he witnessed Yuji eat Sukuna’s finger “of his own free will.”

It’s also becoming increasingly obvious that Yuji was "created” solely for the purpose of becoming Sukuna’s vessel. 

What this new reveal about Sasaki does is that it makes everything feel like certain events have been part of Kenjaku’s master plan all along. While this still feels a little farfetched, it will come down to how Gege works this idea into the story moving forward.

Come to think of it, even Yuji’s grandfather’s dying words to Yuji take on a new meaning since we know Wasuke knew something was definitively up with Yuji’s mother.

Another possible bit of foreshadowing all the way in chapter 1: While the intersection in the second panel below could be ANY intersection in Japan, it sure looks like the Shibuya crossing:

A quick note on the importance of kanji meanings in JJK before moving onto the next section: knowing the meaning of Sasaki’s name tells us that names are important in JJK. If you haven’t, I recommend you read my break down on the meaning of Megumi’s FULL NAME. His first name is important, but so is his last name.

The plans moving forward

Going off to Tokyo Colony #2 are Panda and Hakari. 

As the strongest, Hakari feels like he should take on Hajime. As for Panda, it looks like his focus will be on hunting down Angel.

Side note: I love that Hakari is still calling Megumi names. Guess Senpai can’t help himself.

I must admit I was disappointed to find that Kirara will stay behind to report, but it is what it is. I am assuming Gege could see no use for Kirara and decided to leave the character out of the action for the time being. 

As for Megumi and Yuji, they’ll be heading to Tokyo Colony #1 to target Higuruma, everybody’s new favorite Law & Order boss. 

This brings us to Megumi’s current state of mind...

Megumi the stage-five clinger

I had a hard time coming up with the title for this section because what I see happening is that Megumi is starting to feel the pressure of the looming deadline for Tsumiki joining the Culling Game. What his behavior shows, however, is that he needs Yuji with him and is clinging onto him but won’t come out and say it--opting instead for aggression towards Yuji, the very same person he needs most. 

His behavior reminded me of how Megumi could be mean to Tsumiki even though he clearly adores her. Apparently that’s the meaning of being tsundere. I’ve read about the term tsundere before but it never “clicked” until this moment and I just love Gege’s interpretation of the trope through Megumi’s character. 

It goes without saying that it was REALLY interesting to me to see Megumi’s dynamic and interaction with Yuji in this chapter because it looks like Gege is letting us know Megumi’s state of mind continues to be one of desperation--remember that dogeza bow from chapter 157?

The thing about Megumi is that he looks stoic on the outside, but he’s actually an incredibly emotional person who doesn’t often show how he’s feeling. 

I hadn’t caught on, but in chatting with @justafrenchlondoner​ about the chapter, they pointed out Megumi’s behavior in his dynamic with Yuji appears nervous and aggressive.

Upon a second look I have to agree that Megumi is acting out of character and aggressive with Yuji when all that Yuji really wants is to protect Megumi from Sukuna.

And yes, let me go ahead and sound like a broken record as I remind you of Yuji’s rather ominous words from chapter 143 yet again:

And this is the part of the chapter that knocked the air out of me: Megumi telling Yuji to stfu about Sukuna but Yuji thinking to himself “as long as I’m around you will suffer” back in ch143 is so damn ominous.

Oh f*ck...

But this is what REALLY gets me about this whole interaction and why I’m calling Megumi a stage-five clinger...

Even though Megumi is calling Yuji selfish, in reality, the one being selfish is Megumi.

This is, of course, my own interpretation of the situation, but to me it feels as though Megumi is clinging onto Yuji’s strength for dear life. 

It’s almost like Megumi needs not just Yuji’s physical strength, but also his unwavering conviction or mental strength.

If you think about it, Megumi has only recently started fighting to win. Remember how unsure he was of himself when fighting Sukuna for the first time? It wasn’t until he went up against the Cursed Spirit from the Yasohachi bridge that he let go of his inhibitions.

Megumi’s battles during Shibuya were the pinnacle of his growth as a character in that moment. If I remember correctly, according to the timeline of events, the Shibuya incident happened around two weeks prior to the current chapter. You could say that although he is more comfortable in his strength than before, Megumi is still growing into his strength at this point.

The thing about Megumi is that everybody and their Divine Dog believes in him and sees his potential except for him. As Gojo tells him “you undervalue yourself.”

Looking back, the way Megumi asks begs Yuji for help in chapter 143 is very enlightening of how Megumi needs Yuji’s strength: 

I initially had read this to mean Megumi needed Yuji’s physical strength. Upon second look, however, Megumi has always seemed to have admiration for Yuji’s conviction.

With the looming deadline for Tsumiki’s vow to join the Culling Game, as Megumi starts to feel the pressure to make his plan work, who better to keep around than the person who will always go for the home run and whose strength he admires?

In other words, like hell he’s going to let Yuji leave his side. Which, again, only makes it more heartbreaking to think Sukuna is up to no good regarding Megumi and Yuji wants to protect him from that.

Oh f*ck.......

The panel below feels like a bit of a lighthearted and comical moment, but it’s also interesting to note that this is the second time they “fight”.

The first “fight” having taken place during the Cursed Womb Arc.

If you will remember, Gege used the Cursed Womb Arc and the Origin of Obedience Arc to show us how much our favorite trio had grown. 

Not sure Gege is going to parallel something here again, but just interesting to note.

Oh f*ck...

Ya, please excuse the French.

Despite the many words I’ve shared here, this chapter left me mostly speechless. 

I feel like I’ve been trapped in Gojo’s limitless domain expansion and all I can think is “oh f*ck” or “halloween” (if you catch my drift).

Chapter 160 was incredible because it looks like Gege has finally finished putting all his pieces into place and is ready to go for the kill by: 

Starting to unravel the story bit by bit, giving us all of the twists we both saw and did not see coming, and

Ramping up the stakes. Taking into consideration the estimates that JJK is somewhere around 60-70% done at this point, It’s not a matter of whether some of our beloved characters will die, but about who, when and how they will die

One last detail

I love the last four panels of the chapter showing Panda, Hakari, Yuji and Megumi all wearing their uniforms (barring Panda) and getting ready to become official participants of the Culling Game by entering their respective barriers.

Knowing that Gege is a very talented artist capable of showing and expressing emotions through his art, I feel like these panels tell us a lot about what the characters might be thinking and I thought I’d expand on that. 

Bear in mind this is my personal interpretation as an artist:

Panda looks excited and ready to fight, perhaps even confident. Panda is saying “bring it!” with his body language

There’s a hint of something I can’t describe in Hakari’s face. It’s almost like he’s coming face to face against how big of a challenge this is going to be and yet he’s resolved to walk straight into “the depths of hell itself”

Yuji looks focused, determined to go in and give it his best no matter what comes his way--that’s just who he is

And then there’s Megumi. I’ve been drawing Megumi recently, and one thing I noticed is that he has very specific micro-expressions. In his panel, he’s warming up his wrists as though he’s getting ready to fight, he has a focused look on his face, but the shadows around his eyes say he might be feeling like he is carrying the heavy burden of the uncertainty surrounding the situation he’s going through

With all that being said... the Culling Game is officially starting and we’re in for a one-way ride straight to hell.

Thank you for reading and happy JJK-Sunday!

What about you? What did you enjoy most about chapter 160?

[keijislove]

Hi babe! I was wondering if I could request a Tony Stark x daughter reader? With lots of angst and her being locked in her room because she’s being bullied for her darker skin

(I understand if you’re not comfortable with this)

Safe Place: Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader

I think this turned out a bit longer than I expected.

Sorry :(

I hope you like this, I don’t really have a lot of experience with this matter, so I hope I captured the emotions right!

I AM APOLOGISING IN ADVANCE, THE HURTFUL COMMENTS MENTIONED HERE ARE NOT ONES I WOULD EVER USE IN MY LIFETIME.

GIRL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE – YOU DON’T NEED DIMWITS LIKE RACISTS TO DEFINE BEAUTY. YOU WANT THE DEFINITION OF BEAUTY, GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

PUT A STOP TO RACISM.

WARNINGS: Slight EXTREMELY racial comments, mentions of death, toxic relationship, angst, Tony being a little... well, Tony.

Being Tony Stark’s daughter was nearly everyone’s dream. Well, everyone you’d come across at school, anyway. It seemed rational from their point of view – big house, big bedroom, expensive branded clothing, basically an overall exquisite lifestyle coupled with fame of being his daughter which was sure to earn popularity points anywhere and everywhere. A man rolling in that amount of money would make a great dad... right?

You thought differently. Which was one of the main reasons you did not tell anyone who your father really was and your teachers understood your predicament and played along to your story of being an ordinary girl with no scope for coolness whatsoever.

Your mother had met your father a long, long time ago – when Tony was still in university. Of course, he’d left her before he even knew she was pregnant, and they never saw each other again. You didn’t exactly love your life as his daughter. In fact, from what your mother had told you, he was (in your vision) a complete monster whom your mother had the sad misfortune to meet.

It was her untimely death that had forced you to go live with the man who was the reason you were born and the man who ruthlessly left your mother to fend for herself and a baby. You had tried for foster care, but the agents told you that your father was still alive and more than capable of taking care of you – being the famous Tony Stark and all.

So it would suffice to say that Tony was lowkey shocked when you turned up at his doorstep one day with a grudging expression and declarations of being his daughter. He actually didn’t believe you at first and asked you to piss off which confirmed your earlier assumptions about his character – asshole. After you’d snapped at him and showed him all the legal documentations stating that you two were blood-related as father-daughter after all, Tony was even more shocked than earlier.

Though he would rather die than admit it, he felt sad after seeing your fourteen-year-old self standing at his doorstep. He’d missed your birth, your first steps, your first words, he even missed helping you with homework in preschool – basically all precious moments you enjoy with a child. But you made it pretty clear that you didn’t want to be here – something that made Tony’s already overlarge pride swell like a bullfrog and stopped him from ever getting close to you. While you were busy thinking he didn’t want you, you overlooked a small detail – he took you in.

If anyone had the power to bribe an adoption agency to get rid of their kid, it was Anthony Stark, yet he never gave you away. The simple explanation (that he would never, in a million years, admit it to you) was that he didn’t want to lose you – around the only blood-related family he had left.

And so began your life as Y/N Stark. It functioned surprisingly well for your expectations. Pepper was really nice to you and those few occasions when the Avengers came over, you were able to talk to Natasha about ‘girl things’, her presence reminding you of the mother you had lost only too young. You sometimes even asked Bruce for help with homework, too proud yourself to go to Tony. Overall, you stayed out of his way while he stayed out of yours – an arrangement you were both satisfied with.

The worst part was that you never talked. Ever. You would wake up and walk to school, refusing Jarvis’ continued protests of letting you use the self-driving car, came home the same way where you did your homework and grabbed a snack before you ‘father’ came back upstairs from his little man cave in the basement and a small ‘good-evening’ passed between you two as you went your separate ways. This cycle repeated itself every day. Recently, your life at school hadn’t been going great.

You’d known that your skin tone was a notch darker than the others at your school – something you had gotten from your mother – and this was not something you really cared about. That’s when they started coming – the comments. What were originally small, snide retorts of ‘wash your face, ew!’ (A/N: I AM SO SORRY) had now escalated to them calling you obscene names you’d never heard before and asking you to leave ‘their’ school

Which was why, instead of being at school today, you were locked in your bedroom, sobbing into your pillow.

It had started out as a very unusual morning. After getting comments hurled at you left right and centre the previous day, you’d had enough. You’d woken up and declared to Jarvis that you were skipping school and he was to, under no circumstances, notify your father about this. After that you tried to eat some cereal, but the bubbling dread in your stomach made it taste like dry carpet, so you gave up and stomped into your room, locking the door before flinging yourself onto the bed and crying your heart out.

It was in times like these that you felt the need for something – a gaping hole in your chest. It seemed foolish to even admit it to yourself, but you really wanted someone like a parent. Someone who listened to your problems and comforted you accordingly, someone who actually cared about you. And since Tony Stark filled neither of these requirements, you gave up the foolish dream and sunk, once again, into your self-fashioned depths of misery.

-------

Tony casually sipped on his wine, putting one last screw into place to make the latest piece he was testing out. As he powered the device on, it vibrated for a moment before the words ‘model failed’ appeared on the screen Tony was examining.

He swore loudly and shoved it ungracefully aside before running his hands through his hair. There had been many an occasion where Tony seriously considered going to your room to just say something to you that wasn’t a monotonous ‘good evening’ or ‘the milk’s finished’ or something else like that. He wanted to talk to you. To you.

He wanted to get to know the real Y/N – what you were like when you weren’t too busy being bold and refusing to appear vulnerable. As if reading his thoughts, Jarvis’ voice filled the room suddenly.

“Sir, I do believe that Ms Stark is currently locked inside her bedroom. She refused to go to school just this morning.”

“What?” Tony exclaimed, “Why, did she tell you anything else?”

“Just this, Sir, along with a few obscene warnings of not informing you about this occurrence. If I recall correctly, Ms Stark told me she would rip out my sockets with her bare hands had I come to you.”

Ignoring the small smirk that was growing on his lips at the thought of you behaving exactly as he would, Tony wiped his tired hands on a nearby cloth before sprinting out the door and up the stairs to your bedroom.

He knocked on the door.

“Go away Pepper, not in the mood,” came your muffled voice. It was weak and raw – evidently, you had been crying.

Ignoring the poking feeling of dread bubbling in his stomach, Tony knocked again.

“Open up, kid, it’s me,” he shouted.

“Definitely not in the mood, thanks.”

Tony sighed. This was exactly what he had tried so hard to avoid –turning out like his own father. Not knowing how to deal with a daughter properly, he just let you go about your business as you wanted, hoping that it would yield better results than what his childhood had been like. Now, looking back at how much he’d neglected you, he suddenly realised that he had done the exact thing he was afraid of – hurt you.

“Y/N Y/M/N Stark, open the door. Please.”

Perhaps it was the please at the end or the way he acknowledged you as his living, breathing daughter for the first time that made you stagger limply over to the door and push it open.

Your eyes were puffy, red and swollen from bawling nonstop and your brows were knitted into a disapproving frown. It broke Tony’s heart to see you like this.

“Listening,” you sniffed, crossing your arms.

“Okay, why don’t you sit down,” Tony frowned slightly.

You gave another hearty sniff and led him to your bed where you flopped down and watched as he took a seat beside you.

You both sat in a very painful, deafening silence for the next few minutes.

“You didn’t go to school today,” Tony casually remarked as you played with your pillow, refusing to meet his eyes.

“I did,” you said simply.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” Tony offered.

“I really don’t,” you admitted as he burst out laughing and you gave a grudging giggle despite yourself.

“Seriously, kid,” Tony said in an undertone, “You’ve gotta open up a bit more. I mean, it’s been like what, two years since you moved here and you never bother telling me what’s going on. And look where that got you – come on, tell me what’s going on. Is it school?”

“Partially,” you quietly said to which he cocked an eyebrow.

“Completely,” you amended, sighing, “Kids, you know, they’re just being – well, mean.”

“Okay,” Tony nodded slightly, “You want to talk about it?”

“They... they make fun of me,” you admitted, “About – about my skin colour and stuff. And I know I’m being stupid, getting upset over this –”

“It’s not stupid,” Tony broke in, “It’s not stupid at all. Nothing gives anyone a right to talk to you that way.”

“Try telling that to them!” you burst out, final letting go of the pent-up emotions you’d been holding for days, “What did I ever do to them – it’s not my fault I look like this, maybe if I could choose what to look like, I’d choose something they want! Just about everyone seems to have a problem – what the hell do they expect me to do? It’s unjust, unfair, unsettling and unkind, but of course they don’t care, do they?!”

Tony didn’t even flinch throughout your entire outburst until you broke down and tears began rapidly pouring out of your eyes once more.

“Hey, hey, stop, listen to me,” Tony sternly said, seizing your shoulders and turning you to face him.

“You’re a Stark,” he said, gazing you dead in the eyes, “You are beautiful, you’re smart and you’re kind. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

This was too much for you to handle and you started sobbing again – sobs of partial happiness and partial guilt that didn’t look like they would stop anytime soon.

“Come here, kid,” was all Tony could say as he pulled you into a hug, allowing you to sob into his shirt while he stroked your hair, trying to calm you down.

“I’m sorry if I’ve ever been mean to you,” you whispered finally.

“It’s okay, kid,” Tony murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I’m sorry I haven’t been a great father all this time.”

You two sat in a now comfortable silence, occasionally clearing your throats or sniffling a bit before Tony finally spoke.

“If anyone says that to you again, I will have them cut up and fed to the fish in my house in Malibu.”

“Thanks, dad.”