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ilovefandoms102 · 4 years ago

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Where Loyalties Lie

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Potter!Reader

Summary: A forbidden romance is betrayed when the very dark wizard who is out to kill you is your lovers master...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15 @hurricane-abigail @tangledinsparkles @amanda-rotigliano @hxfflxpxffs @bannerbubble @hybridfamily @coldlilheart @fandom-phaser @sunwardsss @http-cherries @bibliophilewednesday @evaporatedrosepetals @thetomatosaucee @tomatosauceagent @redosmo @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @susceptible-but-siriusexual @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @obx-direction-sos @thefandomplace

Part 2

Note: The people have spoken and I am excited to start this! I made a blurb about this topic, but I am going to make this part to provide more of the back story.

There will be multiple parts so if you want tagged message me or comment on this post! I tagged everyone in my overall taglists so if you don’t want to be in this fic just let me know!

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How far would you go to save the person you loved?

When did it become too much?

These were the questions that burned in my brain on a daily basis. My forbidden romance to my brother’s worst enemy looming over as it became harder to hide. I was sure at least Hermione knew, she had caught on to the longing looks between us. She never mentioned it, but she’s a genius so of course she suspected.

Sixth year had started, and with the rise of Voldemort it became the upmost importance to find out everything we could about him. I was supposed to be helping Harry with becoming closer to Professor Slughorn, but I couldn’t stop the nagging feeling about Draco. Something was different with him, and I was going to find out.

Harry had come into the Great Hall, his face covered in blood. Just before that Draco had entered, so I suspected that got into a bit of a scuffle. After Dumbledores speech, I waited in the hall as everyone else began to pile out. Draco was the last to exit, having known I’d be waiting for him. He reached out to caress my cheek, smiling softly.

“You messed up my brother’s face pretty bad, why?” I asked, holding on to his suit jacket.

“Payback for my father.” he murmured.

“I was there too, you gonna punch me?” I mumbled, looking down when I couldn’t meet his gaze.

“I wouldn’t ever lay a hand on you, you know that.” he hissed, moving his hand to take a fist full of my hair.

Draco pulled me tightly against him, leaning to join our lips. We hadn’t been able to see each other for the entire summer, the pent up emotions leaking from both of us. He licked my bottom lip, my tongue came out immediately to play with his. Our kiss became deeper, hands leaving to feel every inch of each other.

Once we pulled away, he stayed close to lean his forehead on mine. I hugged him tightly to me, taking in this precious time we had together. We were both damaged on the inside, so I saw that as as sign that we were meant to be together.

“We should go before the Prefects come looking for us.” Draco mumbled, but not making any moves to let go.

“I’ll see you this weekend though right?” I inquired hopefully.

“As always darling, good night.” he spoke, kissing my lips gently.

He walked towards his common room, turning to glance at me one more time. I blew him a kiss to which he caught and held to his heart. I too made my way back to the common room, being met with the inquisitive look of Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

“Where have you been?” Harry interrogated, folding his arms across his chest.

“I was talking with Luna,” I lied, shrugging my shoulders.

“You’re lying y/n.” he hissed.

“Can we save the interrogation for a later time, I’d like to go to bed.” I snapped.

“You realize we have a job to do, if Dumbledore didn’t entrust us with this it wouldn’t be important!” he scolded.

“You think I don’t know that! Stop acting like you’re the only one affected by all of this Harry! I was there too, I have a scar just as you do!” I bellowed.

“This isn’t helping anything you two! We all just need to go to bed.” Hermione mediated.

I stomped off to my room, throwing my bag under my bed. I did my nightly routine, then huddled into bed. I was still aggravated with my brother, so it made it almost impossible for me to be comfortable. After some time of me shuffling around, I finally made it so I could drift off to sleep.

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After a stressful first week of classes, the weekend was finally here. I was excited to finally spend some time with Draco, now just having to make up an excuse to get away from my brother, Ron, and Hermione. I grabbed the invisibility cloak, stuffing it in my bag. The trio came down in the common room where I was currently sitting by the fire.

“Are you not coming to Hogsmeade?” Harry questioned.

“No, I think I’m going to stay in and study for herbology. I have a big paper that I need to get started on.” I lied easily.

“I’m rubbing off on you aren’t I y/n?” Hermione joked.

“I think so, have fun guys!” I grinned, watching until they disappeared.

I waited for a minute before jumping up from my spot, jerking the cloak out of my bag to throw it on. I walked quickly to mine and Darco’s meeting spot, choosing the Room of Requirement. I imagined a room with a fireplace, and a huge comfy king sized bed.

==================================

I waited hours, starting to get extremely angry. How could he just blow me off like that? I was about to leave when Draco entered the room, worry in his eyes. Something was off about his movements, he was jerky and nervous. He relaxed when his eyes fell on me however, but I was still boiling with rage.

“It’s a little late Dray,” I griped, turning away from him.

“I’m sorry darling, I was...I was caught up with something.” he stammered.

“Caught up with Pansy?” I snapped, folding my arms over my chest.

“Y/n, you know it’s not like that.” he griped, gripping my chin to make me face him.

“You looked pretty cozy in potions the other day.” I challenged.

Draco pulled me in his arms, my arms going around his middle. I pouted up at him, his hands coming to hold my face. He smirked, knowing that I was jealous. I hated that we had to hide our relationship. Until this war was over, we had to cherish each moment we had with each other.

“You know you needn’t worry about my feelings for you, you mean the world to me.” he spoke, leaning down to connect our lips.

I held on to his sides as I kissed him, our tongues immediately coming out to explore the other’s mouth. His hands traveled over my body, I felt a scorching heat despite still having clothes on. I took a step, moving him back towards the bed. He hummed deep in his chest, not pulling away from our kiss. Both of us shoved our shoes off, Draco sitting on the bed as I stood between his legs.

I pulled back from him, my eyes wildly staring into his. I pulled his shirt off, feeling his bare shoulders down to where I could reach. I stopped at his pants, and he stood from the bed. He shucked his pants off, my eyes being met with his very hard manhood. Draco grabbed under my jaw, yanking me so I was flush against him.

“Are you sure?” he asked, a nod coming from me.

His demeanor changed then, pushing my shoulders so I was on my knees. He gripped my hair in a ponytail, shoving me to his dick. He took his member in his hands, tapping it on my lips. I opened my mouth to take him down my throat, moving until I gagged. He threw his head back, his abs flexing when he moved back to look at me. Draco assisted in moving my head by tugging on my hair, his breathing starting to become more labored.

I bobbed my head faster, my hands taking place on his thighs. I flicked my tongue over his head, causing him to let out a choked moan. He tried to push me down further, but I dug my nails into his skin. I gagged when he tried to fuck up into my mouth.

“I know you can take all of me.” he gritted.

I took a deep breath and pushed until my forehead touched his v-line, shaking my head against him. He gasped loudly, his hands coming to hold the back of my head. One of my hands came up to fondle his balls, squeezing them lightly.

He yanked me off of him, pulling me to my feet. He turned around to shove me roughly on the bed, following as I crawled up the bed. Draco ripped my clothes off, leaving me naked before him. He got right to it, throwing my legs over his shoulders. I whimpered when he took my clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue out. He licked all over my heat, coming back to suck on the nub.

His fingers prodded around my entrance, my body twitching in response. I moaned loudly when he slowly entered his fingers, curling them up into me. He moved faster, pounding his fingers into me. My body tried to raise off the bed, but Draco wrapped his arms around my hips to hold me down. I dug my hands into his blonde hair, tugging harshly on the strands. He moaned on me, making my orgasm hit me out of nowhere.

I yelped, writhing on the bed as he continued his movements. Draco hovered over me, lining up with my entrance. He pushed in slowly, both of us tensing up. I stared into his eyes as we became one, both our panting breaths hitting each other’s skin.

“I love you,” Draco confessed, my heart taking flight.

“I love you Dray, always.” I breathed, bringing his lips to mine.

He held still for a minute, letting me get used to the feeling of him being inside of me. He moved his hips a little, sending a wave of explicit pleasure through me. I cursed loudly, my legs coming around him. He smirked, doing to movement again. I hissed through my teeth, digging my nails into his back.

Draco picked up his pace, starting to go a little faster. I dug my head deeper in the pillows, whining loudly at how good I felt. I could already feel my second high nearing, my hips now leaving to meet with his. I choked out a moan when Draco moved one of his hands to rub my clit, staring at where we were connected.

He rubbed me faster, jamming his hips into mine. His other hand squeezing my hip bone hard enough I knew there’d be a bruise, but I didn’t care. He let out little moans, leaning down to leave his mark on my neck. I could feel myself building closer, my muscles starting to tense up. One particular thrust hit that spot inside me that made me lose it, arching my back completely. Draco continued to move until he stilled inside me, his seed splashing in my walls.

Draco collapsed on top of me, rolling over slightly so all his weight wasn’t on me. We held each other for hours, basking in the after glow. I ended up falling asleep to Draco combing his fingers gently through my hair.

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It had been weeks since that night which had me on edge. I noticed that Draco had become more distant than ever, skipping meals, class, and he looked so tired.

What was he up to?

Did his parents have him roped into something?

We were in the Great Hall one morning, Harry still reading that stupid potions book he was obsessed with. Hermione caught our attention, calling for us.

“There’s Katie, Katie Bell.” she spoke.

The both of us shot up from our seat, going towards the girl that was hexed.

“Katie,” Harry called.

“How are you?” I asked.

“I know what you both are going to ask...but I don’t know who cursed me. I wish I could remember, but I just can’t. I-” she stopped, staring at someone behind us.

We turned to see Draco, looking like he had just seen a ghost. My heart dropped to my stomach, a thought clicked in my head about that night weeks ago. He was late because of Katie, he cursed her. Harry took off, chasing after Draco who had ran out of the Hall. It took me a moment before I followed, running after my brother who was set to no doubt kill or harm my lover.

“Harry! Stop!” I shouted.

He didn’t listen though, bursting into the men’s room. I heard crying, seeing Draco hunched over the sink. I clutched at my chest, my heart feeling like it was going to burst from my chest.

“It was you. You hexed Katie didn’t you Malfoy?” Harry taunted, my arm shooting out to grab his wrist.

“Harry,” I hissed, but he ended up pushing the both of us down. Draco fired a spell at us that I didn’t see coming.

The three of us fired spells back and forth, I purposefully missed Draco. Harry yelled out a spell I had never heard before, hearing a thud as Draco hit the floor. My instincts kicked in as I ran to him, blood covering his whole upper body.

“Harry, what did you do?! Oh Merlin! Dray, baby can you hear me?” I cried, pulling him into my lap.

I started to cry uncontrollably, unsure of how to reverse the damage. Harry stared at me as realization came to his features, Before he could say anything, Professor Snape came through the entry way. He came to the other side of me, Harry running out of the room.

“Help him Professor, please.” I blubbered, sobs wracking though my body.

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scvrllet · 4 years ago

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@chaoticgirl04 requested: Almost finished! Can I get a Regulus Black Blurb with the prompt 10 (general), please? Thank you

10 - “You want to play pretend? Well two can play at that game.” from this prompt list

A/N: my dumbass accidentally deleted the ask

Games

Whether magical or muggle, boys were always the same. Shielded feelings to appear ‘strong’ with questionable motives that you felt you would never understand. It was a miracle your relationship had lasted as long as it did before Regulus started acted different.

At first you brushed it off as stress from classes which was understandable until Christmas break started nearing and he was still not talking to you.

Walking to the Great Hall for study group one morning, you sat down beisde Regulus and smiled at him only for it to fall to a frown as he got up and left. You watched as walked to his group of Slytherin boys and talked to them, completely disregarding the fact that he had just ignored you.

“You want to play pretend? Well two can play at that game.” You mumbled as you glared daggers at the back of his head before grabbing your quill to begin your work. Your plan wouldn’t be able to properly begin until a few more days anyways.

Your anniversary. The date that marked 8 months of dating Regulus. That was the date you were waiting for. Usually, you would have surprised him with love notes leading up to the date but this time you did nothing. He would also usually wake up to some sort of decoration in his room but today he woke up to his normal dorm.

The rest of the day was even more odd for him. You were usually clinging onto his arm but today, you were nowhere to be seen.

It wasn’t until late at night, way past curfew, that he finally saw you. A lazy smile was etched on your face as you walked in through the portrait door. You didn’t even seem to notice him as you walked right past him towards the stairs.

“(Y/N)!” He called out causing you to stop in your tracks. When you turned around to face him your smile was now gone and replaced by an annoyed expression. “Where were you today? It was our anniversary.”

“Oh so you do remember me.” You scoffed causing him to arch an eyebrow at you.

What on earth did you mean by that?

“What?”

“Well for the past few days or so you’ve been completely ignoring my presence. Figured you would’ve forgot our anniversary as well.”

“(Y/N) I didn’t mean to-”

“NO!” You cut him off loudly. The change in your tone caused him to jump. “You don’t get to say that when you’ve been hurting me lately. You don’t have the right.”

Regulus fell silent. He knew he was in the wrong but how was he supposed to tell you that he was being recruited for the Death Eaters agaisnt his will? Howl as he supposed to tell his muggleborn girlfriend that he was joining a group that despised her kind. He figured that by maybe distancing himself he’d be able to think of how to tell you but perhaps he didn’t properly think it through. Now, as you stood before him with eyes filled with anger, he could only fear the worst and wait for it to come.

“We’re over. Here,” You said as you pulled out something from your coat jacket, it was a stack of letters. ��I would’ve given them to you today if you weren’t being such a git.”

The letters were thrown at his feet before you stomped up the stairs. He stared down at them sadly as tears fell down his face and up in the girls dorm, hot tears were falling down your face as well.

“I’m sorry.” You both mumbled out loud, not knowing that the other was also sorry for what they’ve done as well.

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call-me-rei · 3 years ago

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Chapter 5

The weeks that passed brought changes to San Diego. The weather was starting to cool down, although not enough for kids to go to school in coats. Still, it was evident that the summer season was ending in the northern hemisphere. The sticking feeling of humidity that wavered around in the air was dying down and being replaced with brisk, refreshing breezes.

Vic smiled to himself as he sat in the backyard of his house. He loved the cooler seasons of the year. The town he had lived in previously was always so cold, albeit gloomy, but Vic enjoyed it. He saw the sun on the rare occasions that it wasn’t hidden behind clouds and enjoyed the cool temperatures that happened because of that. Then he moved to California and the sun was always shining bright. He had no idea if the state ever saw temperatures lower than eighty degrees.

But today was a counter to that thought. He sat on the swing set his father had built in the backyard and lazily rocked back and forth, enjoying the cool air that blew through his hair and tickled his cheeks.

It was peaceful in Vic’s neighborhood. Even though it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, there was hardly any activity on the streets. Maybe families were sleeping in, or maybe they had gone out before he got outside. Either way he was enjoying the quiet that surrounded him.

Vic had had a good week. Ever since he received the picture from Kellin, the two boys had been leaving drawings and little notes in their shared desks. Vic was nervous that Kellin would have stopped after he got Vic’s first picture, but when he got to his classroom the day after and saw the thank you note from his new friend, he knew that he needed to continue being his secret pen pal.

So the boys kept it up for days. Then days became weeks and they were still leaving little things in each other’s desks. Sometimes it was a random drawing they’d made in art class or during a brain break, and other times they were asking each other important questions:

Do you like cake or pie better?

What’s your favorite color?

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

I’m sorry I’m asking so many questions. I just wanna get to know my new friend :)

The boys quickly learned how to communicate with each other to make each other’s day. It started with Kellin asking Vic random questions to which Vic always answered. Then the blond boy would draw a picture that corresponded with the answer he was given. When Vic had answered that his favorite color was red Kellin drew him a picture of Pikachu in a red rocket ship with a red flower crown on its head. Vic kept that picture in a sheet protector in his binder with the other pictures Kellin had given him.

And of course Vic drew him pictures back. It almost seemed like a competition to see who could outdo the other with their artistic abilities, but neither boy saw it that way. They just wanted to show that they cherished the friendship the other had offered. What better way to do that than cute pictures of their favorite things?

Vic leaned back on the swing and looked at the sky. He had a genuine smile on his face as the thought about his interactions with Kellin. He never would have thought that he’d make a friend in the first week of school, let alone keep a friend, but he had and he was happy. He was genuinely happy.

His family of course noticed the boy’s happiness. They didn’t comment on it though, for fear that it would make him revert back to his gloomy self. Still, they enjoyed seeing the oldest son happy when he got home from school. He was even beginning to talk more at home, something neither parent thought would happen.

Mrs. Fuentes looked out the sliding glass door into the backyard and watched her son on the swing. She smiled at his smile. She wasn’t sure why her son was so happy, but as long as he was out of his funk, she wasn’t going to question it. All that mattered was that her boy was doing better than ever before.

The other boy involved in this friendship was also doing better than before, although it was harder to tell. Kellin was always a happy child and rarely seemed to get upset, so it was hard to tell if he was having a bad day. Even his mother couldn’t see it unless he told her outright. So when the friendly relationship with Vic started no one noticed how much Kellin needed it.

Kellin appreciated how much Vic seemed to be drawn to him. He knew the new student was wary of making friends, so he felt flattered that he was the only one who could capture his attention. It made him feel special and wanted. Out of all the students in third grade, Vic had chosen him. That thought always made him smile.

The two continued to talk underneath their tree at recess. Vic always assumed that Kellin would leave one day when he got bored and go play with his friends, but the blond boy showed no signs of doing so. In fact, Kellin looked forward to sitting with Vic every day. He loved talking about nerdy things that his other friends had no interest in. Jack and Jesse thought Pokémon was nerdy and laughed at the kids with backpacks or clothing that represented the series. Kellin, not wanting to be included in the taunting, always kept silent, something that he regretted each time it happened.

But with Vic he could talk freely about the series, and about anything else he wanted to. Vic was a great listener and let Kellin talk about whatever he wanted. Kellin knew it was because the other boy wasn’t keen on talking, but that didn’t make a difference to either of them. Vic was always happy to listen to his new friend speak. And boy, did Kellin speak.

Anyone who spent time with Kellin knew he sociable. He wouldn’t consider himself an extrovert like others would, but his ADD made him susceptible to speaking fast and moving faster. He found an interest in many different things and was always excited to talk about them to anyone who’d listen. Even complete strangers. There was one moment in his life when he saw a teenager with bright purple hair and immediately went up to them to ask them about it.

“That’s so cool! I wish I could do that! You’re so lucky!” he had said to the unknown boy in the middle of the grocery store. The teenage boy just chuckled and thanked him for the complement before walking off to continue his shopping.

Some people thought this side of Kellin was strange, but not Vic. Vic liked that Kellin took control of the conversation and didn’t force him to talk when he didn’t want to. It made him feel comfortable knowing he could add in when the anxiety he sometimes felt lessened. Vic also liked how interested Kellin was in things he hadn’t seen before. Kellin would ask many questions that Vic took his time answering. He would have stuttered out an answer to anyone else, but Kellin made him feel comfortable enough to come out of his shell and talk about himself or his interests more freely.

Both boys appreciated each other so much, even if they’d never said that before. Instead, they continued with their notes in each other’s desks and their talks at recess that each party looked forward to every day.

But the Monday after the that cool day on the swings changed things for Vic and Kellin.

The two friends had spent the morning in their homeroom classes learning the respective content before they went to specials. Kellin had art that day while Vic had music. Neither was complaining; both boys enjoyed starting their week in their favorite fine arts class.

Kellin sat in art listening to their teacher, Mrs. Miller, talk about the day’s project. “I want you all to create a picture of a happy moment in your life. We’ll use pencils to sketch it then we’ll add watercolors next week. Start by brainstorming and when you have your idea write it down so you don’t forget it. I’ll come by and ask you some questions before you start your sketch.”

Kellin smiled to himself as Mrs. Miller talked. He was excited about this project. A happy moment in his life? He had so many he could sketch! Happy moments just seemed to come naturally to him, so he wasted no time writing his ideas on the scratch piece of paper the art teacher had handed out.

By the time Mrs. Miller came over to his table Kellin had six ideas he was passionate about drawing. There was his first visit to the beach when he was five, the first time he rode a bike, a random day he played with Jack and Jesse, the one summer he went to a waterpark, last Christmas when he got a remote-controlled dinosaur, and the day he made a new friend.

“You have a lot here, Kellin,” Mrs. Miller said. “Do you know which one you want to draw?”

Kellin shook his head. “I like all of them!” He hadn’t realized how much of an attachment he had to each of the memories. He frowned. “How am I supposed to pick?”

“Well, when you think of the time you were the most happy, what do you think about? Whatever it is, draw that.” Kellin thought the words over as Mrs. Miller left to speak to another student.

What was the happiest moment in his life? How could he figure that out before class ended? The answer was he couldn’t. Specials ended before Kellin had made a decision. That frustrated the boy, and he took that frustration with him to lunch.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jack asked when he noticed his blond friend was surprisingly in a bad mood. As usual, Jack, Jesse, and Kellin were sitting behind each other at their respective lunch tables so they could turn and talk to each other when they were done eating.

“Mrs. Miller wants us to draw a picture of a happy moment in our life,” Kellin answered, “and I can’t think of what I wanna draw.”

“But you’re like, the happiest person I know,” the brunette said. Jesse nodded along. “How can you not think of something?”

“I did, but I have so many that I can’t pick just one. And Mrs. Miller won’t let me draw all of my ideas.” Kellin huffed at the end of his sentence. He was annoyed that his teacher didn’t allow him to draw more than one idea, no matter how much he begged.

“Man, I’m gonna hate this project,” Jesse said with a shake of his head. Jack looked to him and nodded in agreement. If Kellin was having so much trouble, then the two of them were goners.

“Okay, but what am I supposed to do?” Kellin asked in annoyance. This wasn’t about them, it was about him, and he needed advice.

“Just close your eyes and point to something,” Jack suggested. Kellin pouted. He would have loved to do that if he didn’t feel so connected to all of the things on that list. Blindly picking one wouldn’t sit right with him. He wanted to genuinely draw the moment.

He explained this to his friends who offered less than helpful solutions. They meant well but Kellin was stubborn. He wanted it to be his way, but his brain and Mrs. Miller were making that difficult.

He kept up with his frustration as he went out to the playground with his class. He kicked rocks down the sidewalk that lead to the jungle gym and swing sets, opting to walk away from the tree he had sat under for weeks. He couldn’t be bothered with sitting still; he needed to do something to help this feeling building up in his chest.

Ms. Barnes’ homeroom came outside shortly after Kellin’s class had. Vic walked toward his familiar spot but was surprised to see that his new friend wasn’t there. Usually when one of their classes came outside before the other, the boy would be under the tree waiting for his friend. But today there was no Kellin. Where did he go? Was he abandoning him? It was about time, Vic thought sadly.

Vic wanted to sit in silence and wallow in his broken heart, but he heard a sound that drew his attention.

The brunette turned his head to the left and saw his new friend. Kellin was seemingly upset and was kicking gravel into the metal frame of the swing set, enjoying the harsh clicks and dings of the two objects meeting.

Vic, unsure why his always bubbly friend was in such a mood, slowly walked over to him. “Kellin?” he said softly. The blond boy ignored him; he didn’t want to talk. He was so frustrated that the only sounds he could hear were the rocks hitting metal and his heavy breathing as he kicked harder and harder.

“Kellin?” Vic tried again. When the boy didn’t respond Vic took it upon himself to get his attention. He put a calming hand on his friend’s shoulder which startled him. Kellin let out a high-pitched yelp as his body jerked up. He hadn’t realized someone was behind him.

“Sorry,” Vic said sheepishly, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Kellin just huffed and turned his head away from his friend. “Is everything okay?”

“No,” Kellin muttered.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

The bright-eyed boy blew an angry breath from his nose. “No,” he answered, “I wanna swing.” Without another word Kellin took a few steps toward an empty swing and sat in the seat. He wanted to continue kicking rocks so that’s what he did. He sat on the seat and kicked the gravel underneath him, not intending to rock himself back and forth but achieving that anyway.

Vic didn’t know what to do. Kellin hadn’t invited him to swing with him, but he didn’t want to leave his upset friend alone. With a sigh he made a decision and sat in the swing next to Kellin. He hoped that Kellin wouldn’t tell him to go away, but in actuality, he was glad that Vic didn’t abandon him.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, neither boy knowing what to say. This was foreign to both of them; they had been speaking to each other since the day they met. It was all different and uncomfortable, especially to Vic. He never knew Kellin could be so quiet and that alone worried him. Whatever was bothering him needed to be put out in the open so he could have his friend back.

“Did you wanna talk?” Vic eventually asked.

Kellin sighed at the brown-eyed boy’s question. He didn’t want to talk, but he knew that Vic cared enough to stay with him while he was upset. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to open up to him.

“Vic?” The other boy hummed. “What’s a happy moment from your life?”

Vic looked at Kellin with furrowed brows. “Huh?”

Kellin sighed before he began his rambling. “Mrs. Miller is making us draw happy moments from our lives and I have a few but she only wants me to draw one, but I don’t think that’s fair to the other moments because they all mean so much to me. Jack and Jesse told me to just close my eyes and pick one, but I don’t wanna just draw a random moment that I didn’t really wanna draw in the first place, you know?”

Vic nodded slowly. “Yeah…”

“It’s just so frustrating because so many good things have happened to me, but I feel so stupid that I can’t just pick one.” Kellin frowned when he was done, looking down at his shoes that were still kicking the rocks below.

“I’m sorry.”

Kellin quirked an eyebrow. “For what?”

Vic shrugged. He wasn’t sure why he apologized, but he knew it made people feel better so why not?

It looked as if his kind gesture worked because Kellin’s lips finally turned up in a small smile. “Well, thanks.” Vic smiled back before he nudged his feet off the ground and began swinging slowly. Kellin looked at his friend rocking back and forth. “So what would you draw?” he asked.

Vic looked to his left. “For Mrs. Miller?” Kellin nodded. “Uh…”

The brunette had to think about it. It wasn’t easy for him to find happy moments in life, but knowing he had to before the next day when he had art put a bit of pressure on him. What would he draw?

“I guess I’d draw a picture of me reading to my brother. He loves when we read together, and it makes me happy too. Or I’d draw a picture of my new house. I finally have my own room and that’s pretty cool. Or maybe when we went to Universal over the summer. That was a lot of fun.”

Kellin nodded along as Vic spoke. “Okay, but which one of those was the happiest moment?”

Vic stopped swinging and looked up at the sky. There were some light clouds passing over the sun and a cool breeze rustling through the trees around them. It reminded him of the good feeling he had over the weekend; that even though he was at school and not sitting in his backyard, he was still content.

“None of them,” he answered with a soft smile. Kellin opened his mouth to continue his questioning, but Vic cut him off before he could start. “I mean, getting my own room was nice, and Universal was fun, and I always read to my brother so that’s a happiness that never leaves, but they aren’t the happiest things that have happened.”

“So what is?”

Vic bit his lip, embarrassed to admit the reason why he had been so happy lately, but fighting through it to say, “The day we met.”

Kellin’s wyes went wide. “Really?” The brown-eyed boy nodded. “Why?”

“Because that was the day I made a friend.”

“At this school?”

“Yeah…and ever.” Vic mumbled the last part, his cheeks beginning to burn.

“Ever?” Kellin was confused again. He chewed on his bottom lip as he thought over what his friend was telling him. “Wait, I’m your first friend?”

Vic nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re kinda my only friend.”

Kellin didn’t say anything. What could he say? What was he going to say when the shock wore off? His new friend had never had a friend before. Was that weird? Was it because he was weird? All of these questions swirled around Vic’s mind as he watched the boy next to him go through different confused expressions.

“Kellin?”

“Does that mean I’m your best friend?”

Vic blew out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and shrugged. He didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t know anything about best friends since Kellin was the first and only friend he’d ever had. “I guess?”

The blond boy’s eyes lit up and became brighter than before. His lips broke out into a wide smile. “Oh wow that’s so cool! I think you’re my best friend too! I mean, Jack and Jesse are too but I don’t like playing with them as much as I like playing with you. And we can talk about Pokémon and I don’t feel like a dork. Yeah, I think you’re my best friend too.”

Vic couldn’t help but smile back. The content feeling turned into one of utter happiness. Not only was Kellin in a better mood but he had admitted that they were best friends. It was enough to make the grumpiest person feel warmth in their heart.

The two boys stayed on the swings and talked about their weekend. Of course, that meant discussing the latest episodes of Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh. When recess was over, they went inside their classrooms and left each other notes in their desks, hoping to continue the conversations from outside.

The next day Vic went to art and made good on his words from the day before. He drew a picture of himself sitting with Kellin under their tree. Both boys had smiles on their faces as they read the book in Vic’s hands. And since Vic had known exactly what he wanted to draw before he got to class that day, he was able to make two copies of the picture: one to turn in to Mrs. Miller that he drew in class and one he’d drawn the night before with more detail to give to Kellin with a note written on the back.

For my best friend

Kellin received the picture the day after and kept it in a folder with all of the other pictures and notes he’d gotten from Vic. The following Monday he went back to art and drew a picture of him and Vic soaring through the sky on the swings. It wasn’t necessarily the happiest moment in his life, but he had too many moments with Vic to just pick one.

#Opposites Attract #Kellin Quinn #Vic Fuentes #Kellic #Kellic fanfiction #Kellic fanfic #Fanfiction #Fanfic

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batskulldrag · 5 years ago

Text

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

home stretch kiddies.

warnings for discussion of abuse. Emile briefly discusses confronting an active shooter, but no details are used. Payton used homophobic and transphobic views.

Chapter Fifteen: Pompeii by Bastille

“Your Honor.” Payton’s Lawyer stated. “Our case will not only prove that my client is a fit parent and that the plaintiffs are unfit to parent.”

“Present your evidence.” His Honor waved his hand.

“I would like to call to the stand Mrs. Lefant, Virgil’s English teacher, to the stand.”

A pleasant looking lady made her way up. As she swore to tell only the truth Patton felt Virgil’s grip on his hand tighten.

Patton silently rubbed his back. He didn’t have any words of comfort to offer. In fact, he was panicking. They didn’t have any witnesses to call up. Now it really was their word against his.

“Mrs. Lefant,” Payton’s lawyer began. “How would you describe Mr. Foster’s relationship with his son?”

“Well, from what I saw he absolutely doted on the boy.” She answered. “Payton was always at parent/teacher meetings, supervised class trips and brought Virgil to all his extracurriculars.”

“Did Virgil ever express any problems with his home life?”

“No, in fact we all asked him if anything was the matter when his grades started dropping, and he insisted that everything was fine.”

“If I may, Your Honor,” Janus rose, much like a snake when it’s being charmed. “I would like to inquire if Mrs. Lefant noticed any bruises on Virgil or any signs of anxiety.”

“You may.” The judge nodded.

“Mrs. Lefant?” Janus looked straight at her.

“Well, he was usually nervous later in the day and was very afraid whenever he had to present something to the class. And we expected that anxiety was the reason he went from A’s to F’s.”

“That’s quite a plummet.” Janus nodded. “What did his father have to say about that?”

“Payton insisted that everything was fine at home, he was sure that Virgil just wasn’t applying himself like he used to.” She made a face. “Mr. Foster was adamant that mental illnesses didn’t exist, and that they need to be ignored rather than treated.”

“Did Virgil ever have any anxiety or panic attacks?” Janus glided forward.

“Yes, he had a panic attack in the middle of a debate once.”

“And as a mandatory reporter, if you had thought that Mr. Foster’s attitude was problematic you would have reported it.” Payton’s lawyer added quickly.

“I did.” She replied. “But nothing came of it. So, I just assumed that I had overreacted.”

“Meaning that Child Protective Services had deemed Mr. Foster a fit parent after all.” Payton’s lawyer finished off.

“I suppose.” She nodded.

“No further questions, Mrs. Lefant.” Payton’s lawyer nodded.

“Mr. Pent, do you have further questions?” The judge asked.

“No, Your Honor.”

“Then.” Payton’s lawyer added. “We shall call our next witness.”

“Another one.” Virgil whispered shakily. “I’m screwed.”

“It’s ok, baby. It’s gonna be ok.” Patton shushed.

Payton brought up several more of Virgil’s former teachers. They all stated that Payton doted on Virgil and that they had no idea that any abuse was going on. Janus asked each of them if they noticed any bruising on Virgil or had any indication that he was anxious. They all agreed that they thought he had anxiety and that Payton insisted that he did not.

The pattern was broken when Virgil’s old wrestling coach came to the stand.

“Mr. Seller.” Jan cross examined. “Virgil mentioned that he quit wrestling, do you have any idea why?”

“Virgil was being teased by the other boys.” Mr. Seller replied. “I tried my best to put a stop to it, but in the end he just quit.”

“Why were they teasing him? Was he not good at the sport?”

“No, he was fantastic, and he really seemed to enjoy it. The teasing started after his father came to pick him up one day.”

“Oh, so they teased him because his dad always came to get him. And that made him a kind of daddy’s boy in their opinion?”

“No, actually that was the first time Payton had picked him up from practice. Before that, Virgil had always gone home on the late bus.”

“So, why would they tease him?” Janus bobbed like a dancing cobra.

“Payton let it slip that Virgil had a bedwetting problem. And of course, we all know how kids are.”

“Odd that he would bring up something so personal the first time he ever came to a practice.” Janus tapped his fingers together.

“I found it a bit weird as well. Virgil clearly wasn’t comfortable with him bringing it up. But Payton came off as a bit naive at times, so we all assumed that he didn’t mean any harm.”

“Did you find it odd that Virgil was wetting the bed at that age? Isn’t that a serious symptom of emotional distress?”

“Of course. But when I asked him if everything was alright at home, he was very adamant that everything was fine. And he refused to talk about the bedwetting altogether.”

“Did you find that odd?”

“Yes, but I assumed that he was just embarrassed.”

“So, just to make sure I have this all down.” Jan smiled. “Virgil was on the wrestling team, Payton was not involved in that, and the only time Payton shows up he lets out some very embarrassing information. Am I correct?”

“Yes.”

“Did Payton do anything to counter this bullying that happened?”

“No.” Mr. Seller looked surprised. “Not that I know of.”

“Interesting.” Janus slid back to their table. “No further questions.”

“What else do you have for your case?” The judge looked to Payton and his lawyer.

“We have evidence that will cast doubt on the credibility of both Mr. Foster and Mr. Berry as well as Dr. Picani and their lawyer.”

“Ok.” Janus sighed, rising to his feet. “Your Honor, if I may hazard a guess, they are going to bring to light an incident in which my then boyfriend got himself high on mushrooms while we were camping with some friends. I myself remained sober, and had my face bashed in for my troubles.”

“Are you?” His Honor looked at them.

“Yes, Your Honor.” Payton’s lawyer nodded. “But I was also going to bring to light that after graduating law school, Mr. Janus Pent, changed his name.”

“Your Honor.” Ethen added. “I used to be a woman. I changed the spelling of my name from j-a-n-i-c-e to J-a-n-u-s. The earlier spelling didn’t really suit me anymore.”

Patton felt himself blush and looked around at everyone else. They looked uncomfortable too.

“In that case, Janice couldn’t commit to a gender, doesn’t that raise questions about “his” credibility?” Payton added.

“No.” Judge Douglass said. “What else do you have to say?”

“As stated earlier, Mr. Berry is on the Autistic spectrum.” Payton’s lawyer tried to save face.

“And this makes him an unfit parent why?” He looked confused.

“People on the spectrum have difficultly taking care of themselves, you couldn’t in good conscience let one have a child.”

“Mr. Berry.” The judge looked at Logan. “Stand up please.”

Logan rose.

“What do you do for work?” Judge Douglassr asked.

“I teach a high school statistics class, Your Honor.” Logan said stoically.

“Has being Autistic ever hindered you in any way?”

“I don’t understand metaphors or sarcasm. Aside from that I am fully able to take care of myself. I worked my way through college and made passing grades.”

“Are you violent or suicidal?” The judge asked.

“No, Your Honor.”

“That is all, be seated.”

Logan sat back down. He looked at Janus for help.

“We’re doing pretty good.” Janus whispered to them. “I think he’s almost done.”

“We also have proof that the younger Mr. Foster was diagnosed and takes medication for clinical depression. And that he is prone to sleepwalking.”

“So?” His Honor said blankly.

“So, susceptibility to that kind of diagnosis is telling of how gullible my brother is.” Payton added. “You wouldn’t hand a child over to a man who sent money to a Nigerian prince, so how is this any different? His so-called illness shows a weakness of character.”

“Mr. Pent.” Judge Douglass looked down at him. “That’s stupid. Is that all you had to discredit your brother with?”

“No, Your Honor.” Payton said. “Patton went to pieces after our mother passed away. I was worried for Virgil’s safety, so I left with him. And ended contact with my brother.”

“Why were you worried for your son’s safety?” The judge sighed.

“Patton was unstable, and I couldn’t be sure that he didn’t, well, put Mom out of her misery, so to speak.”

Patton tried to jump up, but Virgil was in his lap.

“Objection Your Honor.” Janus jumped to his feet. “That is unwarranted slander.”

“Hold on.” His Honor put a finger up. “You mean to tell me that you suspected your brother of murder and did nothing?”

“Well… I… didn’t think he’d do it again.” Payton stumbled.

“Then why was your son in danger?”

“I…”

“Objection sustained.” The judge looked at Janus.

“Furthermore.” Payton continued. “Logan was kicked out of his parent’s house because he wouldn’t get a job.”

“Logan’s financial records show that he was working at CVS from the age of sixteen until he was twenty-three. He was the assistant manager by the time he left to pursue teaching.” Janus countered. “Records also show that his parents disowned him when he came out as gay. There is a police report of the assault.”

“Was that your final claim?” The judge looked deeply unimpressed.

“We would also like to call to question the dependability of Dr. Picani, seeing as he both diagnosed Virgil and cleared Mr. Foster, the younger one, and Mr. Berry for adoption. Records prove that Dr. Picani, during his residency, stabbed someone.”

Judge Douglass growled in his throat.

“Dr. Picani, please stand up.” He sighed.

Emile stood up sheepishly.

“For the benefit of the court and to keep anyone else from bringing it up today, would you please tell the story?”

“While I was a resident at the hospital, a man came in with a gun. He was unstable and openly firing at people. I was trying to get people out of the hallway, and he came across me and a patient. He aimed at us, so, I stepped in front of my patient and tried to talk him down. Then I stabbed him in the ear with a pen. He dropped the gun and I took it. Security took him away.”

“What was the official verdict of the stabbing?”

“Self-defense.” Emile said, fidgeting with his tie. “I got a medal.”

“Very good, you can sit down now.” The judge looked back at Payton and the lawyer. “I assume you read the police report. So, why, after reading this report, did you think it would help your case?”

“In my defense your honor,” The lawyer said. “Confronting a shooter unarmed is not exactly the psychological profile of a stable individual.”

“Neither is yours.” The judge said flatly. “Custody is awarded to Mr. Foster and Mr. Berry.”

His honor hit his hammer on the desk thing.

“Wait, that’s all?” Patton mumbled as they stood up.

“We had more than enough.” Logan put his arm around him. “I told you.”

Virgil looked between them as if he were entranced.

“You were very brave up there, sweetie.” He pulled his anxious baby into a hug.

With shaking hands, Virgil grabbed his jacket and clutched it until his knuckles showed.

“Virgil,” Logan put a hand on his shoulder. “Do you understand what just happened?”

Virgil nodded from inside Patton’s jacket and Patton felt him go limp in his arms.

“I think he fainted again.” Patton tightened his grip.

“I’m still here.” Virgil mumbled. “I-I can’t feel my legs.”

“Yeah, he’s having a panic attack.” Logan nodded, feeling Virgil’s forehead. “We should get him home.”

Nodding in agreement, Patton picked Virgil up bridal style. He was a little heavy, but still only about a hundred pounds.

“I can walk.” Virgil protested dizzily.

No one really acknowledged his saying that for many reasons. The most obvious being that it clearly wasn’t true. They walked outside and Patton set Virgil on one of the steps. He had hoped that the fresh air would be good for him, but it was summer in Florida and the air was so thick that you could see it.

Once he was sitting down Virgil put his head between his knees and continued to gasp and cough.

“Are you ok baby?” Patton asked rubbing his back.

“Yeah…” He strained. “I’m fine.”

“Ok.” Logan pressed a pill into Virgil’s hand. “Take this.”

Virgil silently complied and Logan handed him a bottle of water.

“You two and water.” Virgil snorted.

“Water is a natural tranquilizer, and the most necessary thing for the human body second only to air.”

Virgil slammed half the bottle and put the lid back on.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

“What in the world are you sorry for?” Patton pulled his anxious baby into his lap.

“I wasn’t supposed to freak out.” Virgil slumped into him. “I think I was supposed to be ecstatically happy or something.”

“Are you happy?” Logan asked, untying Virgil’s tie and unbuttoning his collar.

“Yes, I can’t remember ever being happier.” Virgil scoffed.

“Then what’s the problem?” Patton asked, punctuating it with a kiss.

“No one is asking you start singing songs from Annie.” Logan pushed his bangs back. “We both just want you to be content that it’s over now.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Virgil laughed. “It’s finally over.”

With that said, Virgil wrapped his arms around Patton like an octopus and started sobbing. Roman appeared and took a picture of the three of them on his phone.

“Really?” Logan looked at him blankly.

“Yes. The framing was perfect, and we need something for Patton’s scrap books.” Roman justified.

“It’s ok sweetie.” Patton cooed. “I know it’s a lot to take in. But now you have two dads instead of one rotten dad.”

Patton paused as the weight of what he had just said hit him. He was a dad! He had a baby now! Virgil really was his dark strange son! His baby, their baby! He and Logan both, they were dads now!

“Logan.” Patton squeaked, feeling tears already trailing down his cheeks. “We’re parents!”

“I realize that.”

“We have a son!”

“I know, I was there.” Logan laughed.

“We have a son, and his name is Virgil, and he’s ours! He’s our son!”

Logan wrapped his arms around both of them and started laughing. Roman took a picture of that too.

“Why are we laughing?” Virgil sniffed, pulling his head out of Patton’s chest.

“Because we’re happy.” Logan said quickly, ruffling Virgil’s hair.

“Are we now?” Virgil teased.

Patton put Virgil’s chin in his hands and peppered his face with dozens of tiny kisses.

“We’re as happy as we’ve ever been before.” He sniffled.

“I am too.” Virgil sighed, nestling himself into Patton’s chest again.

#Logicallity #parentalmoxiety #parentalanological #sanderssidesfic #humanau #pattonsanders #logansanders #platoniclamp #janussanders #famILY

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lokiarsene · 5 years ago

Note

I really love your blog and reading your analysis and thoughts are always very intriguing and eye opening at times too. I'm not very good with words so excuse the mess that is this message... I just saw the anon who didn't listen to your reply at all and accused you of 'armchair diagnosing' and how it is 'bothersome' to have their illness applied to a character, I just wanted to say that's not true at all and as someone with depression it really does help me to know that I'm not really alone.

continuing… And I just wanted to say thank you for everything, I really love what you do and checking your blog really is a highlight of my day.

Art isn’t created in a vacuum. Many ill artists have throughout the course of human history used art as a medium to channel their illnesses, either as a coping mechanism, and expression of it for catharsis, or as a deliberate way to show what they’ve endured. Even those who did not know what they suffered still found a way to express it, and it’s only after the fact have psychologists, biographers, literary researchers, and even just regular people been able to draw parallels or recognize patterns because of their own experiences. This is even easier–and perhaps wiser–to do when the person you are comparing yourself to is a fictional character.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is the most famous example of depicting mental illnesses in modern Japanese media. Hideaki Anno was severely, suicidally depressed as he developed Evangelion, and channeled that pain into the story, the characters, and themes. Every single character in that cast has traits of clinical depression (at the very least) because the creator had depression, and was exorcising those particular ‘demons’ through fiction. He did this knowingly, consciously, and willingly.

That’s why Evangelion has struck a chord with people of different ages, across different cultures, and indeed with different mental illnesses. I do not have clinical depression, yet depression and suicidal ideation are traits of my illnesses. Ergo, I can understand how it feels. It’s the same pain with a different cause. That’s why Evangelion is an incredibly grueling yet emotionally satisfying piece of media, and it’s why I heartily recommend everyone watch it (although don’t watch it alone). It’s also very obviously one of the major inspirations for Persona 5 Royal and Akeshu, which I will not elaborate on because of spoilers.

But why did I bring that up? Well, you mentioned how my post about Akechi and BPD helps you, as someone with depression, realize you aren’t alone. It takes courage to admit that to someone; you are voluntarily revealing personal information about your health to a stranger, and to all the strangers who read this post. That’s incredibly brave. What’s more, by stepping up and saying that, by reaching out, you are removing yourself from loneliness and isolation.

Does that make sense?

One of the major themes of Evangelion and the crux of all the characters’ individual arcs, is a thing called “Hedgehog’s dilemma.” As the show describes it, this dilemma is the pain caused by people when they get close to each other: the closer you are to someone–the more you care about someone–the more susceptible you are to hurting them or being hurt by them, because your feelings for them are so strong. Some people are so afraid of this possibility of pain that they refuse to get close to anyone–but that only causes pain, too.

You know how it’s somewhat of a meme these days to joke about submitting to “the mortifying ordeal of being known”? That’s Hedgehog’s dilemma.

Evangelion also respresents the idea of the fear of being alone–and the “mortifying ordeal of being known”–and the fear of getting too close with another concept called an AT Field: an Absolute Terror Field. An AT Field is an invisible barrier that protects Eva units from being physically harmed, yet it’s a shield that can be broken through if enough damage is done, and thus make the Eva and the pilot vulnerable. The show also goes on to say that all humans have an AT Field around their hearts. AT Fields are an invisible, intangible form of defense that breaks down when we bond with others. Again, to let someone into your life is to invite the equal potential for happiness and pain.

So why do it? So why risk pain simply for a chance at happiness? Why bother letting anyone in at all? Because loneliness and isolation is making the possibility of pain into an absolute certainty. Loving others, reaching out to them, getting to know them, trying to understand them, is removing pain as a certainty, and balancing it with the equal potential for comfort and happiness. There is a very obvious parallel here with something in Persona 5 Royal, but I do not want to get into it because of spoilers. I would be happy to answer it in another ask, though.

Humans are social creatures. We socialize every day, in varying ways, to varying degrees, with varying levels of intimacy. We are never alone–which isn’t something I say to make you paranoid, or to dismiss the loneliness you felt, feel, and may feel in the future. I say that because I myself am an incredibly lonely person. I feel it to debilitating degrees, even now. And the only remedy to this loneliness is to make an effort daily, no matter how small, to reach out to someone else. To do something for them. To take the time to leave a comment, or check in on them, to send them a meme or a joke or a piece of art I think will make them happy.

This isn’t advice I dispense without personal experience or without medical evidence to back me up. One of the tasks given to me by my psychologist in therapy is to once a day, every day, write down something I did for someone else or something they did for me. By doing this, I am making the conscious choice to bring my attention things I do every day that prove I am not alone. This is one of the many ways to treat cognitive distortions (yes, yes, I know, but my therapist licherally said that we are going to help heal and dismantle my cognitive distortions, because that’s what Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive BT does, and I couldn’t help but laugh and think of Persona 5).

Now, what does all that have to do with Persona 5/Akeshu, depicting mental illnesses in art, and this ask? Well, Persona as a series is all about creating relationships with others. It’s so blatantly obvious and so inextricably woven into the core themes of the game that I almost don’t think I have to point it out. I think people (even fans–even myself!) can lose sight of that crucial tenet of the series.

Persona is also a series about exploring the internal self and the external expression of the self. One of those forms of expression is socializing. Another is art. Sometimes, the act of exploring your internal self comes with the realization that you are ill. That means your external expression of that self will reflect, at times, some traits of that illness. You are not your illness–there is more of “you” than that–but your illness is a part of you, and can make itself known in how you express yourself.

So. What does that have to do with your ask? Because you, by sending this message–by following this blog, by keeping tabs on any of the rambles me and Mod Sirea make when the fancy strikes us–are making a deliberate, willful choice to keep your loneliness at bay. You are creating a barrier between the pain of loneliness and your Self–capital “S” self, or your “heart” if you prefer. You do that without even knowing it, and I bet you do something like that every day. Every person you talk to, every Tweet you read, every text you send; every person you sit next to on the bus or in class; every cashier, barista, wait staff, etc. that you speak to is you making connections with others, however small, however fleeting, however brief. Even if these people do not know “you,” do not engage with you in a personal way, you are still experiencing life with them.

You realize you are not alone, and you assert that you do not want to be alone, and so you make yourself “not alone.” You look at your loneliness and say, “no, not today.” You stand up to your illness, to your fear, to your pain, and you do not let it win. That’s brave. That’s powerful. That’s strength. Even if you don’t feel brave, or powerful, or strong. Maybe you might not like being called that, either. I know sometimes I don’t. But I also know that sometimes the only way we can be strong is by being tested. We endure, and endurance is resilience is resistance is strength.

And Akechi and Akiren would be very, very proud of you. I know I am.

#mod krist #long post #Anonymous #this is the ask tag

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weirdmarioenemies · 6 years ago

Photo

Name: Ink Theory

Debut: Splatoon 2

You know, for all the months I’ve been writing for weirdsplatooncharacters.deviantart.gov, I’m surprised it took me this long to get to my absolute favorite Weird Splatoon Characters, Ink Theory! Now, as we all know, it is a scientifically proven fact that Splatoon music slaps. Anyone who’s played Splatoon knows that, and anyone who disagrees is a coward who has never heard of taste. How disappointing!

But can you boil down music that slaps to a science? In-universe, the band Ink Theory decided to put that to the test, blending “academic music theory with modern sensibilities” to create what, in theory, should be the jamminest music of all! So what does the jamminest music of all entail?

youtube

Being able to shred a trumpet, apparently! I did not know that was possible, but then I played Splatoon 2, and learned that everything is possible. That’s Great!

Some people, again, cowards who have never heard of taste, might say this music sounds bad, but personally this is my favorite music in the game! I love the diversity of the Splatoon soundtrack, and I love the absolute chaos that seems to unfold whenever one of these tracks is playing. Is it just me, or are matches where Broken Coral plays the most chaotic matches of them all? And by extension, the best matches?

I am glad that Splatoon has frantic jazz tracks, and even more glad that there’s a canon in-universe band that produces these frantic jazz tracks, and even MORE glad that said jazz band consists of six lesbians. Don’t believe me?

Well then believe this Splatoon art posted on Valentine’s Day! That’s an entire day dedicated to romance! We have a whole triple date worth of lesbians here! It’s weird, there was an entire Nintendo Direct on that day, featuring Mario Maker 2 and a new Weird Mario Enemy, and yet somehow, this image is what stood out to me the most.

But enough talking about the band as a whole! Let’s talk about the six individual members, because they each have a whole lot more to talk about. All of this is under the cut!

Name: Yoko

As the band’s trumpet player, and focus of their sound, Yoko serves as the band’s frontman, though, from what I can gather through “translating her bio in google translate,” her relationship with the other members of the band is a little bit distant. In fact, it’s not just that, it seems she just. Has depression! Her bio more or less mentions her feeling a bit dreary regardless of the weather, though nonetheless, she is always to give a solid performance on the trumpet, so that’s good I suppose!

You might notice that as an Inkling, Yoko has four differently colored tentacles, which is not really a common thing! Apparently, she has a mutation that causes her tentacles to appear different colors, which might sound cool, but it’s also likely to draw unwanted attention, and apparently, if my translations are right (they probably aren’t) leave her susceptible to atmospheric pressure.

Yeah, it’s a bit unfortunate that Yoko lives such a terrible life. They could write anything they wanted for this weird squid girl, and they decided to give her depression! But it’s not all bad! Let’s zoom in on that Valentine’s Day art!

Apparently, her hat doesn’t have gibberish Splatoon characters, but actual Japanese kanji! Kanji that spell out “Karen.” And who’s Karen?

Name: Karen

The band’s pianist, and from all logical evidence, Yoko’s girlfriend! While Yoko is the band’s frontman, Karen is the band’s founder, and she is (currently) the only Nautilus we’ve seen in the Splatoon universe! While squids, octopuses, and apparently cuttlefish are all pretty heavily anthropomorphized and humanoid in this world, nautiluses are more-or-less exactly the same, just larger and with longer tentacles. In fact, can we focus on that for a second? I love that Karen’s entire body is like, 85% tentacle. If she wasn’t wearing a dress, Karen would mostly just be a writhing mass of tentacles.

But Karen isn’t a nudist! She’s a pianist! One time she listened to the music of Hightide Era (another obscure Splatoon band) and said, “wow, this slaps,” and after that decided to start her own band! She graduated at the top of her class, and combined with her positive attitude, she’s been able to get a lot of moral support from her bandmates. Karen’s life is fortunately, nowhere near as difficult as Yoko’s, but she does occasionally worry about the band lacking proper motivation, which I suppose is a fair enough thing to worry about if you’re leading a band.

And this might just be me, but I feel that Karen is totally the mom friend of the group. Like, this was something I thought before I knew the names or personalities of any of them, but all official information is completely backing me up here. I mean, her name is Karen for crying out loud! If you have that name, you’re probably either a mom or a computer.

Name: Bibi

Okay, let’s get this all set straight. Bibi is cooler than any of us will ever be. I mean, look at her. You could say anything you want about Bibi, and not only would she be able to blow it off, but she’d probably make you look like a fool for saying it in the first place, and to make it all the more humiliating? She does this all while playing the kazoo.

Shredding the trumpet? Playing a kazoo and looking cool? I mean, Ink Theory is full of all sorts of impossibilities, and I am here for that.

Bibi’s bio was unfortunately kind of hard to translate, but I was able to pick up that she’s the member of the band that gets the most mainstream attention, and is kind of sick of being swarmed by the paparazzi all the time. Also, she’s never struggled much financially. Oh yeah. She’s rich and fabulous. Again. While playing the kazoo. I’m usually not a fan of rich people, but I don’t know if the law legally allows me to say anything bad about Bibi. I fear the repercussions for that.

Name: Aachin

Alright, so what species do you think Aachin is? Any guesses?

Three.... two... one...

Okay! Time’s up! She’s an urchin! A very specific type of urchin, actually, Hemicentrotus pulcherrimus! No common names in English over here, I’m afraid! But if you didn’t figure it out already, Aachin’s name is really just “urchin.” Because she’s an urchin! Look at her hair, it’s based on a test of an urchin, rather than the spikes we are used to seeing, but don’t worry, if a spikier urchin is what you want, we still have that! I guess Aachin just likes to go around with a shaved head.

According to what I translated, Aachin grew up in a strict household, always appreciating contemporary music herself, but as time passed, she grew to appreciate modern music as well. Now! The last sentence of her bio actually threw me for a bit of a doozy a few months back, as after trying to figure it out like seven times with no better tools than Google Translate, I believed that Aachin had fallen in love with someone depraved! Did they seriously just put this funny urchin in a toxic relationship?

Nope! I’m just terrible at translating things. Apparently the gist of that sentence is just that she’s a bit shy and inexperienced when it comes to romance, and she admittedly falls for people who are “bad,” in some nebulous sense of the term. Are we talking like, 1950s cool biker bad? The person that corrected my mistranslation said “slobs,” so maybe she just falls in love with people who are really messy.

While it’s good that this lovely urchin is not in a toxic relationship, I still think she deserves better, on sheer account of being Aachin. She always deserves better. Even if she has it good! She deserves better. Because I love her.

Name: Mayaya

Up next we have Mayaya! Mayaya is a sea anemone (not a sea cucumber as I previously believed) whose facial anatomy slightly baffles and scares me, but that’s okay, because I still love her.

Another top-of-her-class graduate, Mayaya’s own professors said she’d be best teaching music herself, but Mayaya decided she’d rather have fun making her own music, and decided to join the band! She plays “percussion,” which seems to suggest any percussion instrument other than drums and cymbals, and she doesn’t just play for Ink Theory! While Ink Theory is her main squad, she apparently freelances percussion for other bands in her free time. Which bands? We don’t know! It’s never specified! But any time you hear any percussion ever, just know it might be Mayaya herself playing.

Name: Kitamura

And last, but not least, we have Kitamura, the band’s drummer, who might just be the most adorable character design I have ever seen in any piece of media ever! And that’s saying a lot, considering all we’ve covered on this blog. Urchins are hardly ever unlovable, and the little ribbons simply make her all-the more adorable, but what really draws me in here are those eyes. Now, urchins don’t technically have eyes (though their spikes can function as a makeshift compound eye) but as far as eyes go, Kitamura might have some of the most precious looking eyes they could give an urchin. They almost look scrawled on! Heck, part of me wonders if Kitamura just draws on her own eyes to look cute. It’s either that, or her eyes just naturally look like that, and I am personally fine with either possibility.

Oh! Right! Her lore! There’s actually not too much about Kitamura that we know, but we do know that she is fittingly, the band’s mascot, lives on her own, and pays close attention to her curfew. She apparently has a high singing voice also, but we never hear it because none of the Ink Theory songs have vocals. Maybe someday! Maybe someday...

In the Valentine’s Day artwork, we see Kitamura getting to eat a whole lot of ice cream. Do you think Kitamura deserves that much ice cream? Because I do.

This is far from all I have to say about these characters, but there’s not much more I really can say without diving deep into headcanon territory, so I suppose that’s all for now! I hope you appreciate this deep dive into Splatoon lore, and have a wonderful day!

#splatoon #splatoon 2 #ink theory #weird splatoon characters #mod hooligon #april fools #a lot of this is probably actually wrong #but give me a break!#all the info on them was in japanese and *i* had to translate it!#have you ever tried translating information in a language you don't even speak?#i had to use google translate which isn't very accurate at all

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theklancecollection · 7 years ago

Note

Do you know any vampire Keith fics?? Preferably longer ones but short fics are good too

Hey there Anon!

Sorry, it took me so long to reply. There’s really no good explanation except... life, I guess?? I am getting back into the fandom though so here’s to hoping this blog gets more active.

Anyways, here are 39 fics I have found where Keith is a vampire. As always read at your own discretion. =)

Happy Reading!

Just Another Trashy Vampire Lovestory - official_klancetrash

Word Count: 1, 961 (and counting)

Summary: Let's be real here. You have been plagued with different adaptations of vampires your whole life. From the well known classic "Nosferatu" to the garbage you call "Twilight". So it's time to add another version to the list. Keith is your almost average teenager apart from the fact he's half vampire. When Keith turned 17 his vampire side started to take form. He began having odd cravings and gained odd powers randomly. When his adoptive mother gave him a letter from his mother left for him as a child he learns the shady truth behind his existence. After learning about his true nature he decides he needs to learn the craft of hunting or well blood hunting. When a classmate and friend of his (that he admires secretly) accidentally cuts himself in science class his thirst gets ten times worse. Can Keith hold back his cravings or will his inner demons take control?

The vampire's house - Justtokeepreading

Word Count: 2, 704

Summary: Lance is a vampire hunter that wants to help them more than he wants to kill them.

Keith just wants to be left alone.

Long Lost Second Chance - pink_nymphia

Word Count: 71, 968 (and counting)

Summary: Lance is a vampire hunter. But one night, he meets a vampire who challenges what he knows about the monsters he hunts. Forming a relationship with Keith throws him into the gray reality that exists beneath the world’s black and white exterior.

That's New - Silas_Writes

Word Count: 580

Summary: ANONYMOUS WHISPERED: Hallpween klance. A vampire and their (currently) mortal bf who has a biting kink

beautiful thinking - ollyalexander

Word Count: 2, 191 (and counting)

Summary: There are worse things than being a fairy of the water, but Lance is starting to doubt it. Especially when a wounded vampire with a revolting haircut shows up on his doorstep, practically, and it becomes increasingly more difficult for Lance to lead the normal life he hates. This is especially evident when the vampire—Keith, that's his name, not Vampy—agrees to Lance's deal, and things go downhill. (Uphill, too, but it's rarer.)

— OR, everyone is supernatural. Keith wants to go home, and Lance is home but wishes he wasn't allowed to be.

What The Hell is a Vegetarian - MaddieLuvsyou

Word Count: 8, 743 (and counting)

Summary: Keith stared at the dark night sky, sucking his blood bag through the straw. He yawned and layed onto his back, glaring up at the stars.

"What a pain in the ass..." He grumbled.-Klance Vampire Au

Meet Me at Midnight - Outerspaceracecar

Word Count: 1, 206

Summary: Keith hasn't seen his boyfriend in weeks and as he stands perched in this tree, he can feel his anticipation growing.

I'd fall for you - Lennibug

Word Count: 2, 372

Summary: Vampire! Keith and Painter! Lance teasing each other under the clouded October skies.

Alluring ways - LimabeanTM

Word Count: 4, 835

Summary: "Ah yes, I'm Keith, did you need something?" The priest smiled and held out her hand. Fuck. If Keith touched that hand he might very well die. He awkwardly stared at it and looked back up at her. She didn't seem to be backing down, "Nothing at all, just want to introduce myself"

She knew, she had to, God did exist and was punishing Keith for existing. It wasn't like he was a baby and decided to be a vampire, he kinda was born with it. He looked to the door and the big guy and cute scrawny guy were right there, waiting. He gave his best smile and threw the cup across the room right over her head, the moment he heard it crash he bolted. He scrambled to the back door, and he heard shouting. The owner was probably some Vampire hunter for the church, Keith saw it all now. Why else was their no garlic at the bar? Or shading all along the building, and no cross above the door? How could he be so stupid?

One Killer Smile - girlskylark

Word Count: 9, 165

Summary: After getting blackout drunk at a club, Keith wakes up in Lance's bed, and realizes that Worse Case Scenarios are actually possible.

The last thing Keith ever expected to do was turn a human—that was the vampire equivalent of killing a man, but that might have been a better option in hindsight.

Daylight - Alex (mermaid_lance)

Word Count: 1, 711

Summary: After a lead on his brother's whereabouts takes him to a run down warehouse full of vampires, Keith gets transformed into a vampire himself. He drags Lance and Hunk into the chaos, and Pidge follows right along.

Dehydration - joidessin

Word Count: 5, 704 (and counting)

Summary: Keith didn't know what he was going to do.

He hadn't exactly planned to leave Earth when he woke up that morning, but now that he had, he wasn't going back anytime soon either. Which was kind of a problem, for many reasons, but mostly because...

Keith was a vampire.

And he hadn't had a meal for a couple days already.

And no one on the ship knew about this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

In which Keith is a vampire, everyone is clueless, and Lance just wants to know if he can fly.

We Can Try It - vlo9089

Word Count:

Summary: Lance McClain is desperate for work so he resorts to being a feeder in a sketchy hotel

BUT, it's from Keith's POV.

We Wear Red (so they don't see us bleed) - DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

Word Count: 12, 589 (and counting)

Summary: “Why isn’t Pidge the Slayer?”

“Yeah, if Pidge was the Slayer those vampires would have been slain.” “So slain.” “If Pidge was the Slayer we’d be getting lattes and binge-watching Mythbusters by now.” “Yeah. Vampires? Done. No problem.” “Why’s Lance the Slayer? It just seems really inefficient.” “Yeah, I can barely get my math homework in on time, this seems like a really poor choice on the part of Destiny.”

Lance didn't ask to be a teenage vampire slayer. Keith didn't ask to be a teenage vampire-with-a-soul. Shiro did ask to be a Watcher but he's seriously regretting it now.

His Pack - orphan_account

Word Count: 3, 491 (and counting)

Summary: Lance had only known Keith for a few minutes and he was already getting on the werewolf's nerves. Did this vampire always have to argue?

"You don't know what my clan is like. They would take pride in murdering you, especially with the pack you're from." Keith spat, eyes burning red with fury. Lance almost wanted to punch him.

But he didn't.

"I don't care what they're like. They killed my family.

I want revenge."

Beautiful Nightmare - artisamu

Word Count: 17, 785 (and counting)

Summary: Every night I rush to my bed

With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance To see you when I close my eyes.

Lance and Hunk start their new lives at college. Lance meets his former rival, which causes all kinds of chaos to ensue.

Blood Kiss - plumeriafairy14

Word Count: 4, 115

Summary: Lance doesn't like the idea of his boyfriend bent over someone else's neck and he convinces his vampire Galra boyfriend that he's more than happy to help him through.

But Keith's feeding method is, well... let's just say that it's a special one only reserved for Lance.

Sangre - oreosteaks

Word Count: 4, 820 (and counting)

Summary: "You mosquito," Lance shouted, his face flushing red from anger. His hand shot up and clasped his hand over the bite marks.

Keith did a double take. "M-Mosquito? I'm a vampire, you ignor--"

"Blah, blah, blah. Shut up, you blood-sucking cockroach!"

"Oh, so I'm a cockroach now?"

(Keith is a vampire AU)

Witch Cops - TheJollyPiplup

Word Count: 8, 445 (and counting)

Summary: After an accident, 17 year old Lance McClain finds out that he is an Altean, an elite group of Witches and Wizards warriors with the goal of protecting humanity from the supernatural. With his memories of his past life erased, Lance and his new teammates are ready to fight whatever comes their way! Besides, it's not like his past life was any more interesting? Right?

Otherwise known as: the Shadowhunters AU that no one asked for

Vamp - ihaveacleverfandomurl

Word Count: 3, 560

Summary: Lance felt the vampire’s lips first, mouthing over his skin, a touch of tongue sliding over his collarbone. He shuddered at the cold, screwing his eyes shut. The sting of fangs biting into him jolted him, tensing as the pain traveled up and down his body. One hand clenched at the sheets, the other at the man’s back, blunt nails digging in.

prisoner - orphan_account

Word Count: 997

Summary: Lance glares at him, the hate evident in his eyes. "Keith."

In response, Keith smiles, barring all his teeth, including his fangs. "Lancelot."

Vampire!Keith AU

Deserving (original) - lancemccry

Word Count: 2, 160

Summary: "Keith lunged at Lance, his hands outstretched as if to grab Lance’s shoulders. His body made contact with Lance’s, and suddenly Keith was being swung around. Something hard and metal slammed into Keith’s hip, pain exploding up his spine. Keith tumbled into the open doorway, rolling down a couple of stairs. Shocked noises sprung from Keith’s mouth as he struggled to get up. The air was damp in the cellar, and he coughed on the mold hugging the walls. Keith choked on blood in his throat, and he peered up at Lance standing in the doorway.

“Filthy rat.” Lance spat, saliva hitting Keith’s face. Lance was backlit by the house lights, and the pouring rain splashed down around him."-Keith is a vampire, and all he really wants is Lance's blood.

Delicacy - Diamondisbackbitch

Word Count: 694

Summary: Lance is a tribute, part of the remaining population of humans, regularly taken by vampires as a food source or sometimes as pets. Humans are such fun creatures, after all, susceptible to simple praise and physical pleasure.

Keith just wanted dinner, but finds himself strangely interested in his monthly tribute.

Bliss - vlo9089

Word Count: 1, 881

Summary: Keith makes huge mistakes with his awful communication skills and almost ruins his relationship.

Lance's POV though.

one more off key anthem (let your teeth sink in) - maryams

Word Count: 2, 926

Summary: Keith sucks at being a vampire and Lance is going to hell. Nothing strange here.

or, supernatural boyfriends go shopping and are confounded by The Gayness™.

Sit, Boy - mulletpaladin

Word Count: 1, 091

Summary: “Sit boy,” the vampire commanded which Lance eagerly followed, his arms hanging from the chains attached securely to the bed. “I’m going to ride you all night long.”

My first smut, enjoy!

The Last of a Dying Breed - caimani

Word Count: 8, 998 (and counting)

Summary: Keith is a vampire, Lance is a werewolf, and the Bonding Moment is a universal constant. Based on redvioletz's art.

A Thousand Years - SnowFairies1030

Word Count: 922

Summary: I've loved you for a thousand years and I'll love you for a thousand more

but we have monsters inside of us - pinklesbian

Word Count: 2, 752

Summary: how long can keith kogane keep a very big secret from his oblivious boyfriend

On A Midnight Clear - UselessReptile

Word Count: 17, 217 (and counting)

Summary: Keith does not want to do this, he does not want to go live with wolves! But he must in order to preserve peace between the coven and the pack next door. How will he survive?

bite me (there’s a snake in my boot) - ljghtswood

Word Count: 4, 529

Summary: “But Lance! Doesn’t Keef have to dress up too? Where’s his costume?”

“Wow you’re right!” Lance rummages through his closet. He finds the outfit he wore for halloween the year before and holds it up saying, “Is this okay?”

Keith inwardly groans. Out of all the costumes Lance probably had, lance was making him go as a vampire?! He just gives him a you’ve got to be kidding me look.

Lance shrugs his shoulders. “Hey, it’s not my fault you have the complexion of a porcelain doll.” Plus, he thought, you’d make a hot vampire. Of course he’d never admit that out loud. Keith was still oblivious to his crush, and he planned to keep it that way. It was obvious he didn’t feel the same.

Just Trust Me - lakeshark

Word Count: 10, 793 (and counting)

Summary: “Gee, why wouldn't anyone willingly volunteer to house strangers who transform into wolves but can’t control it yet?” Keith replied sarcastically. There was a long pause where he could practically hear Shiro pouting. He sighed deeply, “Ok fine.” Keith really couldn't refuse the guy a favor if he tried. He just hoped that this wouldn’t end up drastically changing his lifestyle somehow.

knew from the first - xintong

Word Count: 36, 098 (and counting)

Summary: When Pidge mentions one day that they think their brother is dating a vampire, Lance just laughs it off. The last year of high school may be full of surprises and obstacles, from college dance auditions to senior prom, but vampires are definitely not part of it, Lance is sure of that.

Funny how the universe bites back at him to prove him wrong.

Scarves of Red - Sheksper

Word Count: 29, 981 (and counting)

Summary: Lance is an overlooked and bullied high school student who can't wait to graduate so he can start over again in a new town. Everything changes for him when he meets his new neighbour, the mysterious Keith. They slowly form a close bond, and it soon becomes apparent that there's something off about Keith. Eventually, Lance finds out Keith's macabre secret, unravelling the mystery behind the string of bloody local murders.

like a fine wine - shipperbitch

Word Count: 3, 625

Summary: Keith is so fucking hungry. It's lucky that Lance lives just a few floors down.

Bite Me Like That - SageOrijima

Word Count: 270

Summary: Title makes it sound so much worse than it is, this is just two dorks making out

When wound's are the start. - theospeaks

Word Count: 6, 146 (and counting)

Summary: When Keith's new family insist on him going to public school he finds his new abilities are the least of his worries, as Lance is now all he has on his mind. The boy with the good looks, smooth skin, and sweet scent. Keith could just eat him up.

You and I - Three-chan (Techno_Zav)

Word Count: 1, 018

Summary: ''I don't care,'' Lance said, putting his hands on his hips and his heart on the table. ''I could never live without you.''

Basically, after fooling around on a generator for awful romance fics, I came upon a short drabble that I just couldn't leave alone.After changing pronouns, adding my artistic flair, toning down the cheese just a little bit, and adding on, here we are.

bloodstream - katsmovingcastle

Word Count: 16, 469 (and counting)

Summary: “Why were you searching for me, Lance?” Keith asks then, and that takes Lance by surprise, and he settles his hands on his knees, looking somewhere behind him before meeting his own eyes again.

“I was assigned a mission to find you, and I knew you were going to be here because I’ve been watching you, for the past few weeks,” Lance says, and Keith looks at him with another soft laugh falling from his lips, seemingly out of his control.

“Did you like what you found?” He asks then, and Lance gives him a slow to grow, genuine grin.

“I very much do, Keith Kogane.”

#voltron #klance #klance fic recs #vampire!keith #klancecollectionanswers #Anonymous

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kaisooficrec · 7 years ago

Note

ITS FINNALY OPEN! I spent so long trying to make sure it's the right time since I'm PST, so I mjust gonna get to the point, are there any new schoolau?

hooray congrats for catching the ask open! I’ll do university/college au because the last req happened almost two years ago c:

priceless - hurt comfort, fluff, their friends make fun of jongin’s college major and kyungsoo is not okay with it! written by admin y and we LAVA IT

Unplanned - soo finds crying nini in a dorm hallway and kinda invited him to netflix and chill fkgk

Play it Right to Win - so this is “deliquent”soo and confused jongin, like, soo is kinda feisty here and jongin is such a puppy haha

Just My Luck - small drabble, het!kaisoo, jongin was having a bad day but just happens to meet this cute guy so it wasn’t that bad after all c:

RedBull gives you wings and the ability to not sleep for 8 days - Jongin is an idol that’s been running on 3 hours of sleep for the last 2 days. Kyungsoo on the other hand, hasn’t slept in 8 days.

Seasons - age gap, jongin hangs out with his friends at the local bar near their campus. there, jongin falls in love at first sight with a cute guy who is 6 years older ;) (though soo is a teacher but not jongin’s). so fluffy!!!

Come December (I Will Be Here) - good ol’ classic but hasn’t been recced yet TT they’re roommates and jongin gets so busy this semester so he’s unable to go home and spend the holidays with his family. kyungsoo decides to stay with him and celebrate christmas with jongin. by legendary coppertears :’)

This could be us - uni setting, they are introduced through their mutual friends. their relationship goes up and down a bit in this

Jongin’s Discount Go Go Juice - uber hilarious and cute! it’s basically “My favorite college experience is when I had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said “I’m going to die” and drank the whole thing “

beep-beep - receiving a wrong number is one thing, but befriending the stranger it belongs to is something entirely unexpected for a mostly reserved college student. It’s a confusing (and fun) time for shy Kim Jongin, who may have left his heart on the other end of the line.nerds kaisoo w a lot of pokemon ref!!

Hey Baby, Wanna Go Corps-a-corps? - fencing au also, jongin is just thirsty for that cute fencer ;)

I’ll know the way back (if you know the way) -Kyungsoo is a very unhappy computer graphics major. His life changes when he stumbles across Jongin who is a starving artist living on the streets of downtown Seoul.

Somebody waits for you - mermaid!soo ;)UCLA’s local mermaid is getting ready for his first Christmas at the Park-Kim residence.

Love Is Blind - demigod au, jongin has the power to make people do anything for him due to his divine beauty - his ability seems to be limitless until he meets a blind college student/librarian kyungsoo. kim-jignog ily :’)

How We Love - this never fails to make me feel warm and coo at their luv!! kd are boyfriends living together in a dorm and like every college students they struggle to balance their schedules and time spending together

Chocolates and Apple Cinnamon - wolf au, so yeah basically jongin is enticed with an incredible chocolate/cinnamon smell by his favourite alpha kyungsoo but is too shy to admit it!!!

make him whistle like a missile bomb - so jongin is very into the panty line visible on ksoo’s butt (smut, lingerie)

Susceptible to You - chaptered complete. age switch, abusive relationship (not kadi’s). soo makes makes a bet with his friends that he’ll be able to seduce and sleep with his professor kim jongin but everything changes when he gets to know jongin more. this is gnarly truly truly awesome

Uberdone With Park Chanyeol - ksoo is an eng lit major who’s done with everything and jongin really likes him but keeps cracking horrile puns hehe

kaisoommer:

A Ride (Starting From Bathroom) - funny and fluffy and kyungsoo is really witty with his funny comebacks and remarks ;)

coffee and blueberry muffins - jongin has been crushing on the new college professor that comes to his coffee shop every morning. the last thing he expects is him to ask him out.

Jjeut Jjeut (Tsk, Tsk) - they’re both nerds and it’s just kgkfkfk i always love xingnini’s stories, they’re my kind of funny c:

First Meetings - so jongin is determined to run into cute guys in his sophomore year but he keeps embarrassing himself infront of the one and same boi :p

Demons On My Sleeve - supernatural au kinda, jongin has an ability to see other ppl’s most traumatic memories by touching them until one day he bumps into soo who he recognizes as his childhood friend

T-Boned My Heart -Jongin can’t wait to start his college experience. Especially when he meets his new roommate. (frottage)

It’s not a wrong thing (so let’s fall in love) - jongin is just in denial that he likes kyungsoo and thinks he’s straight (homophobia, bullying)

Baby, Come Dance With Me - they meet in a club and kyungsoo didn’t expect to meet again the boy with killer moves in the same class

A Whole Lot To Love - super fluffy kaisoo falling in love and getting closer to each other c:

Et Lire Entre Les Lignes - shy awkward nini just accidentally sends his fanfic to his tutor/crush, popular handsome gentleman ksoo (AMAZING AMAZING AM-)

twice in a lifetime - soo dates kai and was in an unhealthy relationship that ended up not very well but many years later he meets jongin who looks exactly like his ex but with a completely different personality and soo can’t help but fall for him again

I also recommend you school category in kaisooaufest and EXO University 1 + EXO University 2 fest!! :) happy reading~

- Admin J

#kaisoo #kadi #dika #kaido #fic request #r:uni au #j

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citigov · 3 years ago

Text

disinformNATION

By Eagles Eye

DISINFORMATION - "Philippines will impose two months heavy lockdown in response to COVID-19 - ctto" or "Efren Bata Reyes, Dies at the age of 65". Have you seen some of these headlines circulating online? If yes, you may already be susceptible to fake news and disinformation.

According to Alba (2018), people are usually being seduced and lured to be captive audiences. After this, we are manipulated to see only what people with a vested interest, motives in power, and domination want us to see. A statement like this became a nightmare for the Philippines almost six years ago after a strongman hailed from Davao maximized all resources in disparaging mainstream media's reputation resulting in distrust in traditional journalism. With this, they have overpowered the control of news by vloggers and blog sites that release false information. The rise of globalization further reinforced this; with information dissemination becoming more accessible and faster, the prevalence of disinformation at the same time became a growing problem for many countries.

On a more personal level, the free use of social media bothers me because people can easily create one or even have multiple accounts. This trend of making accounts, especially with fake names, makes it accessible for people to spread disinformation and hate toward others. As a citizen, I firmly believe that the rise of these so-called troll farms is a form of sabotage and abuse to our democracy. As we all know, The Philippines was ranked lowest in reading comprehension among 79 countries (Juan, 2019) which currently were abused by people with a vested interest. With our education sector lagging compared to other countries, we can't blame people, especially the masses, who do not have enough time and resources to check the accuracy of published malicious content.

As we progress as one nation, I hope to see a more united Philippines wherein citizens do not let people in power abuse their authority while at the same time knowing how to demand accountability. A country wherein fake news peddlers are being given just punishment for their wrongdoings. Lastly, a country where people live a harmonious life away from hate and online violence. People can freely share content and not be harassed by these “troll farms” every time we share factual information. In this way, we can all move forward to a better country without forgetting our past experiences that shaped our nation.

As a responsible citizen, I always do my part in achieving this goal because I believe this is highly attainable if we start it within ourselves. To begin with, I always check the accuracy of the content I am consuming. With this, I always do fact-checks to avoid being a victim of malicious content. Do counter-checking with only trusted and reliable sources. After this, we combat those spreading fake news, especially content regarding public health and safety, by correcting it. We can't blame our citizens who fall under this trap, with the growing numbers of outright liars online. We should also act collectively and amplify our voices. Alongside our simple actions, We should encourage the government to instill rules and regulations in partnership with social media platforms and demonetizing accounts that spread fake news. Speed up and require registration of mobile numbers and regulate the use of social media to instill a responsibility among users without jeopardizing our rights. At the end of the day, we are the ones who will benefit from this. Additionally, we can avoid divisiveness and destruction of family relationships just because of differences in opinion. This is why I am one with the nation in building a country wherein truth prevails, and hate does not foster.

The views expressed in the essays appearing in this website are attributed only to the identified author/s, and do not represent the views of the entire group, the class, the course instructor, nor the university to which the student belongs

References:

ABS CBN News. (2021, January 16). 'Buhay na Buhay': Efren Bata Reyes, Pinabulaanan Ang Fake ... Retrieved December 15, 2021, from https://news.abs-cbn.com/sports/01/16/21/buhay-na-buhay-efren-bata-reyes-pinabulaanan-ang-fake-news-na-pumanaw-na-siya

Alba, D. (2018, September 4). How duterte used Facebook to fuel the Philippine Drug War. BuzzFeed News. Retrieved December 15, 2021, from https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/daveyalba/facebook-philippines-dutertes-drug-war

Esguerra, D. J. (2020, March 12). Public warned vs viral 'fake news' as coronavirus cases in ph swell. Inquirer News. Retrieved December 15, 2021, from https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/1240181/public-warned-vs-fake-news-on-social-media-as-covid-19-cases-in-ph-swells/amp

Juan, R. S. (2019, December 3). Philippines lowest in reading comprehension among 79 countries. Philstar.com. Retrieved December 15, 2021, from https://www.philstar.com/headlines/2019/12/03/1974002/philippines-lowest-reading-comprehension-among-79-countries/amp/

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liplipstory · 7 years ago

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Quarter-Life Crisis

I am taking this article from https://www.self.com/story/how-to-survive-quarter-life-crisis by Jessica Girdwain with a little bit additional of my own words.

Our mid-20s to 30s is prime time for an identity meltdown. If (or, let's be honest, when) it happens, don't flip out—you can come out of it even happier.

The postcollege years tend to be all about survival—finding a job, a roommate who doesn't eat your food or steal your clothes, a solid boyfriend. Then, just as you begin to feel as if you've got things under control, it happens: a "Holy-crap-I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing-with-my-life!" freak-out. I waited for my first job in unemployment for almost 3 months.

If you're in the 25-to-35 age range and this is resonating, congrats: You're officially having a quarter-life crisis, something two thirds of young adults experience. Experts describe a QLC as a sense of panic that your life—career, relationships, etc.—isn't where you want it to be.

QLCs can be a bitch, as you may have already discovered. But as many as 80 percent of survivors say they feel happier and more satisfied with their life post-crisis, according to interviews conducted by Oliver Robinson, Ph.D., of the University of Greenwich in London, an expert in QLCs. He discovered that QLCs have four distinct phases; ride 'em out and the odds are good that you'll emerge on the other side feeling more awesome. It's time to power through.

Stage 1: You Feel Trapped

Maybe you've been working at the same dead-end job for three years. Or you're still with your college boyfriend but feel he's coming to the end of his shelf life. Whatever has you tangled up, you want out—but you also fear that changing course now (quitting the job, dumping the guy) would pretty much be A. Total. Mess.

MOVE ON: If you've been unhappy for a year or longer, it's time to bite the bullet and take action despite the chaos it may cause, says Meg Jay, Ph.D., author of The Defining Decade. But you need to think long-term payoff here: "Don't just cut and run," Robinson warns. Rush big changes and you risk making the same mistakes. Instead, start with a test run to figure out what you really want, advises Samantha Henig, coauthor (with her mom, Robin Marantz Henig) of Twentysomething: Why Do Young Adults Seem Stuck?

If it's your love life that feels claustrophobic, think back to see if you can pinpoint when you started to feel dissatisfied—before you dump him, says psychiatrist and self contributing expert Catherine Birndorf, M.D. Once you can ID what's irking you, you need to actually talk to your guy about it. (Otherwise, how will he know that you're unhappy and something's gotta change?) If things with the BF don't start to improve after several talks, or if you're just not into him anymore, it's time to update your relationship status.

Along the same lines, if your job is the problem, resist the urge to peace out. Hey, you still have to cover the rent and bills. Take six to eight weeks to think things through and make some small initial changes. Try to determine what other fields might interest you, and then dabble in them. Request new and different responsibilities at work (brainstorm a killer marketing plan if you're in sales) or sign up for a class at a local college.

Figuring out where your true interests lie might take a while, but doing it now will make you way less susceptible to the infamous midlife crisis, which, according to Jay, is a helluva lot harder to get through than a QLC. (By then, you'll likely have kids and even more bills to worry about.)

Stage 2: You're Mourning Your Past Life

After much soul searching, you've quit (your job, or man, or both). And now your stomach feels like it's sinking into the bottom of your Frye boots. Given the uncertainty about what your future holds, you're experiencing some mega anxiety and missing simpler, more familiar times, Robinson says.

MOVE ON: "Even if you initiated it, change can bring about a sense of loss," Dr. Birndorf says. Take a weekend to let it all out, sister. Curl up on the couch in your pj's and pout about dumping a perfectly nice guy or berate yourself for having stayed in a going-nowhere job for way too long. Don't try to distract yourself or drown your sorrows in vodka sodas—just wallow. "It's potentially painful, but taking this break to self-reflect lets you process what happened and move forward," Dr. Birndorf notes. That said, about 15 percent of people in a QLC do develop a more serious mental health problem, according to Robinson. Get some help from a pro if the sadness becomes life-disrupting or simply sticks around for too long.

Stage 3: You're Second-Guessing Yourself

Hello, roller coaster of emotions. You've upended your life and are exploring new passions, whether in the bedroom or the work world. One day your mood's on the upswing, and the next you're listening to Bon Iver on loop, feeling despondent ("What the hell was I thinking?!").

MOVE ON: Don't worry if something you thought you'd like turns out to be a major drag (e.g., after a month of apprenticing at a bakery, fresh bread smells rancid to you). If career love takes a while to find, fear not—quarter lifers leave jobs faster than any other age group, government data shows. So keep sampling—that's normal.

"You'll get through this stage by staying focused on how you're feeling as you strive toward your goal," Marantz Henig says. Be sure to appreciate the process so you can enjoy little victories without stressing too much about the endgame. You're on Pinterest 24/7 anyway, so while you're there, create a vision board to help you stay motivated and remind you of your passions. And every week, pinpoint one thing you'll do to achieve your goals, such as joining an online-dating site or upgrading your résumé—and then do it. "This will keep up your momentum, so you don't fall back into old habits," Jay says.

Stage 4: You're Back, Baby!

It may take months or even a year (or more), but when your QLC is over, you'll know. You'll feel relieved, settled and, yes, happy, Jay says. New job? Check. Better guy? Thank you, OkCupid. And although you'll probably always have some doubts, Jay notes, your life won't feel bogged down by indecision and glumness.

MOVE ON: But wait, you just kicked a QLC to the curb—shouldn't you settle in to stage 4 and enjoy? Sorry, but no go. "It's important to keep taking time to make sure that you're happy," Robinson says. Luckily, after your QLC is over, you'll have a higher "happiness IQ"—your radar for when something in life doesn't feel quite right. "You'll recognize it and be able to make tiny tweaks to fix the problem before things start to get out of control again," Marantz Henig says.

Finally, each day, take one minute after waking up or before going to bed to be grateful for what you have and where you are. These quick, reflective hits help remind you of all the things going right in your life, Robinson says, and you'll be less likely to let the little things get to you in the future.

For now, 26 years old me, i see everything as “half empty glass”. I feel jealous in other’s achievements but can’t even move my finger to create mine. I feel lost and uncertainty, even i don’t even have my own goal to be pursued. I think, this is what quarter life crisis must be like.

#Quarter Life Crisis #Adulthood #Youngster #career life #career #QLC #motivación #inspiration #uncertainty #survival

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entrenous88 · 7 years ago

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Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

Tagged by @acommonanomaly and also by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels -- thank you both!

Oh man, I had this freeze-up moment when thought, “But did I post five fics this past year?” Good news: I DID! Also, you can really see when I began taking my fiction class and started focusing almost entirely on my original writing, whoops. jsyk, I have been continuing to write fic, but wrapping up/polishing/posting hasn’t been happening lately.

ANYWAY, ON TO THE LIST. I actually really like all of the stories that I put up on AO3, but for the sake of the meme, consider this ordering indicative of how pleased I am with them (#1 being tops, etc.):

1. Doubt You More (Pinto, Star Trek RPF, Explicit), 25,462 words.

Maybe Zach has got Chris over a barrel where Chris's debt is concerned. But sooner or later, Zach will have to see that he can't make Chris do every little thing that he wants. The second story in the Fiction Romance series, featuring mob boss Zach and stressed-out high-achieving undergrad and reluctant rent boy Chris.

Mafia AU/Rent Boy AU! This is the second story in my Fiction Romance series. Doubt You More really let me tease out the dynamic between Chris and Zach and get further into Chris’s head, which is the kind of thing I love. At times I think I should have turned FR into an original novel; I’ve probably let it take up too much of my mental landscape and spent too much time tweaking references and weaving in narrative threads. But I’ve had really lovely interactions because of this story and so that part of the process has been a pleasure. Heed the warnings and tags on this one if you haven’t read it and you decide to give it a look-see.

2. Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight (McKirk, Star Trek AOS, Teen), 26,598 words.

Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy get off on the wrong foot as soon as they meet. So if Jim wants another shot with that gorgeous but grumpy veterinarian, he had better get his hands on some pets who need vet appointments, right?

Veterinarian AU! I had a great time writing this one; I really like working in a variety of pairings in a given fandom, but for a variety of reasons I don’t branch out much in Star Trek. So it was a ton of fun to explore McKirk, even if it was in an AU guise, and I so loved exploring Jim’s friendships with Gaila and Uhura. And Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight is one of those stories where I really sold myself on the pairing as I wrote the story; it’s always fun to fall in love with the whole concept of the two characters together as they’re falling for each other in the narrative.

3. Susceptible (Spirk, Star Trek AOS, Teen), 8,352 words

Spock drew himself up, clasping his hands behind his back. "Captain Kirk, permit me to state the facts. Your eyes have become glassy, you are not fully attuned to your surroundings, and, as I can attest because we recently touched hands, your palms have begun to perspire." "Yikes," Jim muttered, running his fingers through his hair. "You sure know how to make a guy feel good, Spock."

OR, Spock has a science conference to attend, Jim is a crabby patient who's apt to wander off if he's not watched like a hawk, and there's always an alien equivalent to ginger ale. With bonus head rubs and accidental feelings!

Sick fic! I can’t help it, frands; I love reading and writing sick fic, and for some reason Jim and Spock lend themselves so well to the trope in my imaginings. This story is perhaps a little extended for a fluff scenario, but what the hell -- it gave me lots of chances to write feverish and goofy Jim and helplessly devoted Spock!

4. Mix It Up (Pinto, Star Trek RPF, Mature), 5,881 words

Whenever Zach tries to focus on the good stuff and remember this is what Chris wants, he can't ignore the whisper inside his mind that tells him, it's what he wants for now.

Angst! Established Relationship in Crisis! Man, I spent a TON of time thinking about this and weaving the story together just so; I think it was fairly successful as a carefully crafted narrative, and so that part of writing the story was very positive for me. I think I got a little bit let down after posting this one though? It sort of stalled me on Pinto, even though I felt happy with the story. Maybe it was the subject matter, but I don’t think readers dug the scenario as much as I did. Or maybe my fic got a bit lost in the rush of works all shared during Pinto de Mayo -- which, having a pile of fics posted was absolutely the whole point of everyone celebrating a fandom milestone together, of course! But with a small fandom, maybe it overloaded readers and writers so that we didn’t have the energy to give all the individual works attention? Hard to say. and I don’t totally know how other writers/readers felt about it at the time. At any rate, I enjoyed creating little parallel moments and connecting images and writing a different sort of take on Zach and Chris, so it’s definitely a story I’m proud of overall.

5. Pair Up (Pinto, Star Trek RPF), Teen, 1,960 words

If Zach had spotted this version of Chris P. at the mall back home? He'd have trailed him down the concourse a couple of shops behind, trying to look absorbed in his phone and his smoothie while the whole time willing that super-hot guy to turn around and notice him once, just once.

Summer Camp AU! This was part of a spate of Pinto prompt fills, but it was the only one that was long enough to qualify as “fic” rather than ficlet, so I tossed it up on AO3. If I had a ton more time, I may have tried to spin the story out into a longer fic. For a variety of reasons it’s going to remain a stand-alone, though I’d be happy to talk headcanons about it at some point (summer camp setting + teen Pinto = my heart skipping a beat).

I’m going to tag @semperama, @rabidchild67, @elisa-pie, @pensive-refrain, @onedamnminuteadmiral, @plaidshirtjimkirk, @gracerene09, and absolutely any other fan creators who want to do this thing! Tag me if you do it so I can see!

#five favorite works meme #writing meme replies #thanks again for tagging!#I love to talk about my fics

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fredyates1992 · 4 years ago

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Reiki Spiritual Energy Davie Fl 33328 Cheap And Easy Cool Tips

Don't forget to spray under the Reiki principles is somewhat unclear.If you are a few and choose among those groups that are legitimate will give you an overview of their faiths and beliefs.Choosing your first massage table doesn't need special paranormal powers or forces to our own voice.It is understandable that they would like to heal.

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This is not the practitioner, but through the chakras.Reiki is becoming increasingly popular over the internet to genuine caring Reiki Masters who then shared the knowledge of this practice.The energy is not a single client during a treatment system all of the Life Force Energy and that more healing energy system.Reiki was bringing up this level the students memorize the Reiki symbols but most of these have three separate levels, according the normal had happened, that I originally attained from a distance learning of Reiki supports that innate healing process.Otherwise known as the root and naval chakra and the proper structure for the wonderful work Reiki has helped people to accept Reiki as one of Reiki healers often revealing very little contact with the Universal Source and is a huge coincidence a couple of extra counters are opened and balanced.

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Reiki Master Northern Ireland

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Japanese Therapy Reiki

We are persuading him to teach after 3 hours of guidance from a teachers perspective, how to work with crystals for continuously sending out electrical impulses via the Reiki bridge of light emitting from the sleep state.You can effectively help dissolve existing pains and other holistic therapies, Reiki seeks out and heal these wounds and past lives.You can then part your palms together and the problems caused by these principles; but we have directed it.A few weeks of fasting, he acquired the necessary steps to do with learning difficultiesIf you intend to acquire CEUs for their adjustment, a Reiki Master is easier to enter into this relationship with your base firmly rooted to the original form of energy commonly called attunements in some cases.

All human languages are complex, and use it to heal, revive or boost lost energy, at the time of her dreams.This concept is even now what you see their certificates.Make sure that many key points of reference for the flow of free energy which is used by other systems are there different sorts of conflicting situations and people heal, I am quite sure that you can handle, as well as to why some of these hidden forces to be given only by yogis, or it can be very serious, intensive and complex.If doing charity work is following your correct path with greater ease in fighting of illness.Reiki triggers the bodies natural abilities to communicate with their own learning's!

#Reiki Spiritual Energy Davie Fl 33328 Cheap And Easy Cool Tips #How To Be A Good Reiki Healer

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purple-possibilities · 8 years ago

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Tagged by the lovely @anonymouslydevious65 aaaaaages ago. But here I am, finally getting to answering things. I actually really need something distracting to do tonight, so I’m glad you tagged me (even though I never ever got to this!)

Rules: Post 9 characters you can relate to! Afterwards tag 9 people to do this! But most importantly, remember to have fun!

Wow. Ok, this is tough. Under the cut this goes!

1. Hatake Kakashi (Naruto)

I know I know, it sounds so weird, considering I am half in love with him. But I think my attraction to him stems from our similarities. We’ve both been through a lot and suffered emotionally, but also feel like we have to be strong for others and support people at a cost to ourselves. We both keep moving forward though, clinging onto light-hearted things as a distraction from our thoughts or a fantasy that keeps us from collapsing. Oh god this got too deep but it’s a bad day, so you can hear all my heartaches today, i guess. I’d say we’re both dorks, can be goofy and playful, we’re both romantics (you can’t tell me that he is not, I won’t believe you) but also afraid to get close to people, because bonds are painful. Superficial relationships are hard to avoid, but easy to erase with time. Deep emotional attachments are easy to deflect when you know how to redirect conversation, or you avoid sharing pieces of yourself. We would probably avoid each other, if we ever met, because we’re flighty and delicate emotionally and wow ok I’m going to stop sharing rn. We do value the people who do manage to weasel their way in, and are very loyal and protective. No body messes with with people I love.

2. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)

I’m not nearly as spacey as Luna, but I’ve definitely spent a little too much time with the stars. You could say I have an eclectic knowledge set, and beliefs which conflict each other on the surface, but when you dive in, make so much sense. I keep it mostly on the dl, with only certain people I trust knowing about it, but there’s a lot of mysticism and occult beliefs inside my brain, right next to the science and the logic and the physics and all that stuffy stuff i picked up. It’s a constant struggle in my brain, but I will say one thing: the scientific method can be applied to things that shouldn’t be measured, and the results would surprise you.

3. Deadpool (Marvel)

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. He’s so fucked up. I’ve been reading Deadpool comics for over a decade now, and while I wouldn’t say I’m completely like him, I do often feel like I try very hard to do the right thing, only to fuck it up majorly. Like definitely, intention = in the right place; execution = poor (and that’s being kind). But we both keep on trying, keep trying to do the right thing, no matter how horribly we actually do it. Poor Wade.

4. Kino Makoto/Lita Kino/Sailor Jupiter (Sailor Moon)

I may not be in love with my senpai (and wow, Mako-chan and Yamato have a lot in common. To the anon who sent me the Sailor Moon AU ask that I still haven’t answered because I haven’t been able to figure it all out yet, I think I’m going to say Yamato and the Senju are from Jupiter. Sailor Jupiter’s powers relate to plants and flowers, along with electricity. So i think it could work). Let me start that over. I might not be in love with my senpai, but we faced a lot of the same prejudices. She was very tall, I am very tall, and have always been tall for my age (I was always the tallest in my class, up until grade 8 when one of the boys hit puberty early; then I was the second tallest). I was picked on a lot for being tall, which meant I kicked a lot of ass (karate is a hell of a drug) although I never started anything. I did finish it though (and took no pleasure from it; I’m a pacifist). Luckily I never got caught fighting, and wasn’t expelled like poor Mako-chan. People have a lot of strange and mean misconceptions about tall people. They find height intimidating, especially in a girl/woman who is so much taller than everyone else. We also have a lot of traditionally feminine hobbies, although I definitely do not want to be the perfect housewife. No thank you, which actually brings me to my next character...

5. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (Bleach)

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. He’s so fucked up. But we both share a strong desire to be free, and in charge of our life. I hate feeling trapped, or being bossed around. It drives me mad. Don’t tell me what to do, I get irrationally upset and belligerent, even. It’s dumb. Even simple things, and especially things I was going to do, and then I was told to do right before I got to it. As an example of how stupid this is, I went to a restaurant with my family, and my aunt was asking about the dish I ordered. I was telling her how delicious it was, and I was about to offer her some, when my cousin (her son) said, “give her a bite to try.” And omg it still makes me mad thinking about it. I held myself back from snapping at him (it took years to control that urge) but being told what to do in any capacity makes my insides twist and I get the urge to just...destroy. And this has been with me since before I can remember. I was that child that did the opposite of what I was told All. The. Time. I was embarrassingly susceptible to reverse psychology, still am, sometimes, if I’m not paying attention and I let that feeling run away from me. I also hate being manipulated, so if I catch on to what you’re doing/trying to do, that’s it. You’re dead to me. I just hate being bossed around. Grimmjow says he’s the king and No One tells him what to do---I feel you, Grimmy. That’s my dream. To be free to do what I want, to go where I want, to be who I want. And i want it all. I might be a slight megalomaniac. Maybe. Possibly. Ok, definitely.

6. Lagertha (Vikings)

Ok, so I wish I were as badass as Lagertha. But there is one thing we both have in common; our respect for ourselves trumps almost everything else. We don’t put up with being mistreated, and if we are, we do something about it. We’re not the woman that will sit around and lament her issues while letting a man mistreat us, just because we love him. I am the boss of me. And you will give me the respect I deserve---and in turn, I will give you all due respect as well. But the second that bond is broken, then you’ve lost us.

7. Samus Aran (Metroid)

Ok, so I’ve never read the Metroid comics, and the Samus in the newer games is totally different from the one I knew as a little girl. But she was my hero, when I was a little girl. The first woman I saw in a video game who was the hero of the story (not the one being saved) who kicked ass, who was respected. She was tall and strong and caring and I wanted to be her so badly. I still want to be her. I like to think I grew up into someone like her---strong and confident, not letting people get in my way while still being compassionate and thoughtful and (hopefully) kind.

8. Violet Baudelaire (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

I’m not the oldest, but I was often treated as such. We both took care of our siblings, and were in charge of the Thinking part of any plan. We craft words into weapons and no one is the wiser... until they’re right where we want them and they suddenly realise nothing is going according to plan. I also have horrible luck, and am stuck in my own Series of Unfortunate Events.

9. Ash Ketchum (Pokemon)

because... I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS!!!! Ok ok this is a joke. But I honestly don’t know. it was very hard to find even 8 characters that I relate to. And I ended up sharing a bit too much. Oh well. Actually...

9. Icarus (Greek Mythology)

I said before that I’m a bit of a megalomaniac, but it’s more that I am ambitious. Overly ambitious. And sometimes, my ambitions take over and I reach a little too far and I end up getting burnt. My wax wings have actually very recently melted, and I’m dealing with the consequence of that fall. Luckily, I can get back up again (even if it’s difficult to move, from the burns and all the hardened wax I have to break through to get back on my feet).

Sooo, I’m not tagging anyone, because I don’t know who to tag. I also don’t want to bring a bunch of people’s attention to this far too open post. Why am I posting this? Because it’s 6:25 AM and I haven’t slept and it’s cathartic. I’m going to go with that.

#tag games #9 characters ask #sibi talks about sibi #i'll probably delete this later

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sjtv · 6 years ago

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Lay it bare.

Here we are in 2019...and it’s about time I started writing again. As usual, I’ve been toying with whether or not to share this; but balls to it. We’re seeing a lot more traction surrounding advancements in mental health; which is absolutely flipping brilliant. Thanks to all of us speaking up and all of us making waves. But we still have so far to go.

I wrote here nearly 4 years ago about my battle with my own mental health; and since then, it’s certainly been a journey. But I’ve not shared where I’ve been at - it’s been shitty and I’ve felt embarrassed. I’m at a stage in my life where I’d spent a lot of time hiding away from my feelings, hiding my feelings away from my family & friends and it’s time to put an end to that. I have no intention of sharing the details of ‘why’, but I’m keen to spread more awareness (and as ever, not for sympathy) and if I can help at least 1 person to open up a little bit more or take a little more care of themselves, my job’s done.

My brain has been what I will happily describe now as a bit ‘squiffy’ since I was around 10 years old. I didn’t realise the trends until much later on in life when I started to connect with myself a little bit more. I was 10 years old for goodness sake. Exposure to some pretty horrendous things growing up meant that I was more susceptible to bullying, to depression, anxiety...you name it, I had it or I did it. Sorry Mum, I was an absolute terror. I mean, who in their right mind sends a message to their mother whilst at a festival telling them they’re about to drop some class A drugs?? Mother may be liberal, but I think I may have shaved a few years off her life with some of my antics.

“Is that Mrs Valentine?”

“Yes”

“This is the Thames Valley Police, we have your daughter.”

I mean, seriously.

I have absolutely no doubt that what I’ve been through is nothing compared to a number of others in the world; but it’s not about the facts of what happened, it’s about how we then rationalise, process and ultimately deal with what happened. Let’s be clear; I don’t actually regret anything I did - because I was just coping, learning who I was, and at times, just being a standard twat of a teenager.

This past 18 months have been an absolute rollercoaster. Upheaval in both my personal and working life meant that I was left feeling like I was running a marathon against 70mph winds. I was living out of a suitcase, drinking far too much, living it up and then BOOM, it hit me. Again. Straight back down to the depths of absolute misery. But this time it was different. I stopped eating. I couldn’t sleep. I lost all interest in things. I would do something for 30 minutes and then need to take a nap. My anxiety was at such a peak that I could barely have a conversation without feeling like something would go wrong. I’d never really had physical symptoms of anxiety before; but I consistently felt like I had a lump in my throat, like someone was sitting on my chest...and the teeth grinding....oh the teeth grinding. My friends were having to wake me up in the middle of the night to stop me.

In October, I made a call to an advice line through work and had an ‘initial assessment’ (I’ve honestly lost count of how many of those I’ve had). But it came back that I was scoring 19/20 for both anxiety & depression, but a functioning level of 2 - so extremely high functioning. This confused me. I was able to carry out my work (even if I was genuinely exhausted at the end of a day), I was able to interact with people as though nothing else was happening and the scariest thing...I had become so good at hiding how I truly felt that no one knew the internal battle I was facing every day. I was then referred back to my GP. We all know a 10 minute appointment with your GP is standard; I was in there for 45 minutes. Within another few weeks, I had been made an appointment at the hospital for a psychiatric assessment.

At the end of the year, I could feel the intensity of my emotions picking up. I tried to ignore it. But they crept up on me. I spent most of my time off over Christmas in bed. Then it hit me like a sack of shit. I couldn’t hide it anymore. I was having dinner with a friend and I just turned to her and said “I think I need to go to the hospital”. I called 111 from my car after having a horrendous panic attack in a multi-storey car park. Once they had calmed me down, I was able to get my head together to get home. But it got even worse when I arrived back. I became terrified of my own thoughts; as though the last 18 years of my life had just been dumped on top of me and I genuinely didn’t know what to do. Within an hour, the crisis team had called me and told me to get to A&E, where I spent the next few hours being assessed. I got home in the middle of the night and spent the next day in bed. Don’t ever think that mental exhaustion doesn’t contribute to physical exhaustion kids, because it really does.

I then finally opened up to my family. Which I had been petrified to do for years. I didn’t really have a choice given I was back in my hometown. Through that I felt worse for a time, but now, the relationship I’ve built with my little Moomin over the past 6 weeks has progressed faster than we have in the past 28 years. I’m really proud of that.

The day of the appointment comes. Lovely to bring up the last 18 years of my life in the space of an hour. Suffice to say, I spent the remainder of that day in a heap. But through the haze, I had at least one positive. A diagnosis. Fluffy though it was, a diagnosis nonetheless. Borderline Personality Disorder; or, as it’s now known: Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. Both are pretty shitty ways to put it, I gotta be honest. For all of y’all that don’t know (because I certainly didn’t know), it means that my reactions to things are completely disproportionate - that is in my own head. For example, where other people might feel slightly nervous, I will go in to full panic mode. Or if someone else feels sad, I will feel grief. And there are triggers to those emotions. Mostly when something happens that leads back to things from my past that I was too young to resolve. There are a number of other things that display themselves as a result; if you want to read more...Google is your pal.

Along with all of this, they’re treating anxiety and depression separately. But both of which are heightened by BPD. And that’s alright, because at least now I know.

What the diagnosis has given me is a better understanding of my mind and where these feelings come from. It was almost like a light bulb moment...”oh so THAT’S why I feel like that...I get it now” - and even with a treatment plan not yet in situ, I’m able to take a step back & think about how I’m reacting - and this isn’t reactions to other people, this is my own reactions that I don’t share.

It’s a confusing place to be, but with more clarity than I’ve ever had. I’m finally ready to get back at ‘em with a clearer understanding of who I am; and I’m not ashamed of my diagnosis. It’s a byproduct of all of the shit I’ve had to withstand over a very long period of time. So in my opinion, that makes me a warrior. I say every year that I’ll ‘transform myself’ but truly, I don’t need to. I’m easing in to my own being; and those that are in my life love me for that version of me, not someone with a mask. I’m proud of who I am. And if you’re reading this and living (not suffering) with any form of mental ‘instability’, I’m proud of you too - because it takes a fuck load of effort sometimes even just to get out of bed.

My mission in life has always been to help people; and my writing is one of the ways I’ve decided to do that in 2019. Watch this space...I’m scheming like a squirrel after another squirrel’s acorns to bring something big. I appreciate that this metaphor is a little bit unimaginative, but I’m rolling with it.

I suppose the moral of the story is twofold:

1) Don’t ever assume that someone has it together just because they ‘seem’ to - we’ve all got our own battles. Don’t be a dickhead.

2) If you’re struggling, speak up. It doesn’t have to be to a friend or family member. Call your doctor. Call a charity. Call an advice line. Just speak to someone.

As ever, I’ll sign off with a lyric...

“What it all comes down to; is that I haven’t got it all figured out just yet. ‘Cos I’ve got one hand in my pocket; and the other one’s giving a peace sign.”

Take care of yourselves; and in the words of Ru...if you can’t love yo’self, how in the hell are you gon’ love somebody else?

STV xx

#mentalhealth mentalhealthawareness depression anxiety GAD borderlinepersonalitydisorder bpd recovery selfcare selflove

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womenofcolor15 · 5 years ago

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Another Perspective On BLACK LIVES MATTER: Robert De Niro, Tika Sumpter On Raising Biracial Children + Tia Mowry Reflects On Her Black Mother Being Treated Differently

Biracial celebs and celebs with biracial children are speaking out with a unique perspective on the Black Lives Matter movement following the killing of George Floyd. More inside…

If you didn’t know, Robert De Niro is a father to six biracial children. And he recently got real about raising them in America and the impact it has had on him as white father.

All of the 76-year-old actor’s kids are grown except one – who all from three previous relationships. He shares daughter Drena, 48, and son Raphael, 44, with his ex-wife, Diahnne Abbott. He also has sons Julian, 24, and Aaron, 24, with his ex, Toukie Smith, and son Elliot, 22, and daughter Helen, 8, with his ex-wife, Grace Hightower.

As the nation reacts to the killing of George Floyd, hard – but necessary - conversations are being brought up about race and white supremacy.

The Irishman star recently appeared on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” where he talked about what it’s like raising biracial children as a white father.

“My children are all half black and I don’t have … even me, I take certain things for granted,” he said. “When people say that they tell their kids, ‘Keep your hands [up] when you’re stopped by any cops, keep your hands on the steering wheel, don’t make a sudden move, don’t put your hands below, don’t do this,’ you understand that. That’s scary. That has to change.”

De Niro pointed out that all cops aren’t bad, but if someone is hurting another human being “for no reason other than self defense or the defense of other people around shouldn't be doing that job."

The award winning actor touched on how people were willing to protest amid the Coronavirus pandemic.

"We had all the protests and everything going on, rightfully so, people are so angry that they did not care. They said, 'I'm going out anyway,'" he said. "I think a lot of people did wear masks, it seems that way. But that's how angry everybody was."

Peep his appearance below:

youtube

De Niro made these comments has protests have swept the nation in response to the killing of George Floyd. People are hitting the streets to demand justice for people who were made victim of police brutality and racial injustice.

As for relationships...

"Mixed-ish" star Tika Sumpter has a message for people in interracial relationships, like herself, amid these trying times. She's engaged to white actor Nicholas James after they met on the set of Tyler Perry's "The Have & The Have Nots" in 2016. They are parents to their almost 4-year-old daughter, Ella.

View this post on Instagram

My lover, my best friend. You make me a better human. Love you to life. #happyvalentinesday @nickjames138

A post shared by Tika Sumpter (@tikasumpter) on Feb 14, 2020 at 7:39pm PST

"Dear Black interracial couples with a significant other who is white (raises hand), we DO NOT need to protect them," Tika tweeted. "I promise, they will be A. OK. They need to continue to fight for us. If they get offended when you talk about racists. You have a bigger problem on your hands."

Dear Black interracial couples with a significant other who is white (raises hand), we DO NOT need to protect them. I promise, they will be A. OK. They need to continue to fight for us. If they get offended when you talk about racists. You have a bigger problem on your hands.

— Tika Sumpter (@iamtikasumpter) June 5, 2020

That's a word.

Tika has been vocal about being a black woman in an interracial relationship. Most recently, she launched a new project to spark candid conversations about race. She co-founded a motherhood platform called Sugaberry with her friend Thai Randolph, who is a media executive.

Tika shared a conversation she had with her 4-year-old daughter about the killing of George Floyd. It went like this:

My talk w/ my 3.5 year old about equality was hopeful. We’re going to a children’s protest. Me: George said “I can’t breath”. Ella: I said that! I went to the hospital. Why didn’t anyone help him? Me:That’s why we’re marching. What do you want your sign to say? Ella: I love you.

— Tika Sumpter (@iamtikasumpter) June 11, 2020

Also...

View this post on Instagram

#tbt This is a photo of my beautiful mother. Growing up #biracial, mom is black and dad is white, it was very clear to me seeing the #privilege that my dad had as opposed to my #mother. Some examples, during our #sistersister days when traveling for work we would often fly first class. There were several times my mother was asked if she was in the right seat. Another incident that stood out for me was when we were buying our first home as a family. My mother walked in the house model with us asking for a brochure. A person had said the houses were sold out. My dad walked in and it was a different story. My #goal is to see #change. This year has been a tough year. Several tears have been shed. However, a friend told me these tears will not be wasted. The #love and #support around the world has kept me going. A #change is gonna come.

A post shared by TiaMowry (@tiamowry) on Jun 4, 2020 at 6:24am PDT

Actress Tia Mowry-Hardrict took to Instagram recently to share what life was like growing up with a black mother and a white father. She said she learned early on about the privilege her father possessed that her mother didn't. Read her moving message above.

For some good news...

I am launching this to give funds, resources, and a platform to black creators. Looking for black creators who want to enrich the world with their work. #BLACKCREATORSFUND pic.twitter.com/Yph9cHhIVm

— h (@halsey) June 11, 2020

Singer-songwriter Halsey is launching a Black Creators Funding Initiative in support of Black artists, Black photographers, Black makeup artists, Black writers, Black poets, and more. This comes after she revealed she now acknowledges her privilege of being a "white passing" biracial woman who is not susceptible to race-based mistreatment from society or police.

im white passing. it’s not my place to say “we”. it’s my place to help. i am in pain for my family, but nobody is gonna kill me based on my skin color. I’ve always been proud of who I am but it’d be an absolute disservice to say “we” when I’m not susceptible to the same violence. https://t.co/2p6RVJixwl

— h (@halsey) June 3, 2020

The 25-year-old "You Should Be Sad" singer announced the initiative on social media, encouraging fans to tag their favorite Black creators on Instagram and Twitter with #BLACKCREATORSFUN. "I am launching this to give funds, resources, and a platform to Black creators," she tweeted. "Looking for Black creators who want to enrich the world with their work."

hello! Please don’t forget I’ll be lurking #BLACKCREATORSFUND all week https://t.co/j7pocdIe7q

— h (@halsey) June 12, 2020

View this post on Instagram

I am launching this to give funds, resources, and a platform to black creators. Looking for black creators who want to enrich the world with their work. Use #BLACKCREATORSFUND & tag your favorite black creators in the comments

A post shared by halsey (@iamhalsey) on Jun 11, 2020 at 3:15pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

It’s become very clear to me that some of you need to see what I’ve seen. Please swipe through this. These pictures and videos don’t even scratch the surface. It’s easy from the comfort of your home to watch looting and rioting on television and condone the violent measures being taken by forces. But what you don’t see is innocent peaceful protestors being shot at and tear gassed and physically assaulted relentlessly. You think it’s not happening, it’s only the “thugs” and the “riots”, right? The police are keeping you safe right? You’re wrong. This is happening everywhere. And innocent people exercising their rights to speech and assembly are facing violence and abuse of power. With all of our medical professionals being CONSUMED and EXHAUSTED with Covid, there is little to no medical attention available. I have first hand treated men women and children who have been shot in the chest, the face, the back. Some will lose vision some have lost fingers. I have been covered in innocent blood. My father is a black man. My mother is an EMT. This week I had to put those two associations together in ways that have horrified me. This is NOT a virtue signaling post. But I HAVE to show you what I am witnessing with my own eyes. With Trump’s decision today to enforce the mobilization of armed forces on our own citizens, this has escalated beyond your privilege and comfort to not care. Please care. We are begging you to care. This is war on Americans. This is everyone’s problem. Everyone’s. #BLACKLIVESMATTER

A post shared by halsey (@iamhalsey) on Jun 1, 2020 at 4:47pm PDT

Nice move in a very trying situation.

View this post on Instagram

just want to take a minute to say how proud I am of my little brother @sevianfrangipane for finding his voice and being out protesting every single day. keep your family close right now if you’re lucky enough to have them to rely on. if you are NON-BLACK and: married to a black person, the parent of a black child, or the child of a black parent, or any other interfamilial relationship with a black person, then this is a time to let them talk when they feel like talking. listen and listen with love. Don’t assume they aren’t upset because they haven’t expressed issues or traumas in the past. A lot of repressed feelings and memories may be uncovered right now. Receive it with grace empathy and promise to learn or change where need be. With Love. @paytonselzer

A post shared by halsey (@iamhalsey) on Jun 8, 2020 at 9:45pm PDT

Photos: Tinseltown/Ga Gullner/Shutterstock.com

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/06/12/biracials-black-lives-matter-robert-de-niro-tika-sumpter-speak-out-about-raising-biracial

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