#and i always seem to get exactly what i DON'T want whenever i hit pity.. every time. like what do i do w that toka

[redgemwink]

it kinda fucks me up when i think abt how universally bad my gacha luck is. i get screwed in literally every gacha i play hhhh how have i lost every 50/50 in hsr. how did i get 10 ny lethes and not a single ny peony on the first double special banner in feh. how did i reroll for 3 days straight in cinderella girls and never see any of the charas i was rerolling for. but most importantly, HOW did i go to pity on both hiiro and marika's navigation banners and miss BOTH of them all the while getting only one ur on hiiros banner and 0 on marikas. and now im already off to an unlucky start with sword of convallaria sfdkdsfk i just need to know why my luck is the worst possible in every gacha i play when will i ever find one where i'm actually lucky

[wifeofnatasharomanoff]

Sinful Affairs

WARNINGS: Nat has a dick, reader and Nat aren't married but they have a baby, arguing, slight angst, guns/knives, violence, fingering (reader receiving), oral (Nat receiving), daddy kink, breeding kink, degradation, edging, choking, slapping/spanking kink (only a bit) jealousy, possessiveness , fluffy ish at the end

WORDS: 2,779

PAIRING: dark/toxic!mob boss!Nat x f!Reader

A/N: silly little me wanted to write this, i hope you guys have been doing well <3

There it was again, her. The woman you shared many nights with. The woman who couldn't be there for you and the child you had together. But you see her again. You felt your breath catch in your throat. Her red hair was pulled up into a braid. A little boy in her arms. “Natasha. W- what are you doing here? Why are you here?” her lips formed into a sly grin. “Why? Can't I visit my son and my girl?” You glared at her. Her girl? If you were hers, she wouldn't have left you time after time with that dumb little note every morning. ‘Sorry sweetheart, work issues. Had to leave, I'll be back.’ and every time you believed her. You had begged her to stay. To quit her job and live with you and the baby, it's not like she lacked the money for it. She knew you were upset. And that she was the cause of it. “Natasha please just leave.” she sent you a stern look and carefully put down the baby in his crib.

“And why should I listen to you?” she said as she leaned against the wall. “You don't have to. But I want you to.” she seemed unphased by your little comment. She was more humored that you didn't want her here. Or that you attempted to lie in order to get her to leave. “If you aren't going to stay, then there's no point in coming here. You're getting my hopes up, and Alex would know you well enough to remember. Remember that his other parent could care less about him and his mom.” she faked a look of pity as she backed you out of the nursery and into the bedroom.

“You don't realize that if I stay, you two would get hurt. Do you even know how many enemies I've made in my line of work? No. Exactly, so you can't be upset at me for something you don't know.” you scoffed, “oh, so you visiting makes it any less dangerous for us? Nat– you‐ God! I don't even know what I feel when I'm around you.” was that a confession, or were you still fighting? “Well, I'm being careful with my visit times. I don't show up whenever I want to.” so she chose to ignore that last part.

You couldn't tell if you were mad at her or if you wanted to risk it all for one more night with her. So you stayed silent as she brought up a finger under your chin to direct your face to hers. “Natasha– if you stayed here, you would be able to protect us. What if you don't come home for over a week and you show up to find us dead? Hm?” her grip on your face slightly tightened. How could you say something like that? “Detka.. I–” your gaze dances over her features. She accidentally let her insecurities slip, you could tell. Her brows softened, and her eyes were a bit glossed over.

“You what?” she slid her hand from your face and down to your neck. Her fingers hesitated before clasping around your neck and pushing you up against the wall. Her hold was tight but not yet unbearable. You felt your oxygen cut off at some point, making your head go all fuzzy. She was always violent but never over matters like this. When she noticed your hand around her wrist loosen, she stopped. Did she go too far? No. In her mind, she was always right. You gasped for air the second she let you go. “Y/N—” you coughed as you leaned your head against the door.

“D- don't you think you've done enough Nat?” you couldn't bring yourself to look at her. “... What if I marry someone else? Alex wouldn't mind a stepdad or step-mom. At least they'd be there for him—” that was it. She had enough of you by now. You winced as you felt her palm harshly hit your cheek, reddening the side of your face. “Don't you fucking say that you little slut. Alex is perfectly fine with the way things are.” you blinked back some unshed tears, “how do you know that? He's just a baby. He can't even talk yet! Did he tell you that he was okay with all of this? Did he?” she sighed as she shook her head.

You watched her slowly bring a hand up to her pocket and pull out a blade. “Natasha put that down.. fuck– put it down, Nat!” you shouted as you threw the pillows that sat on the bed at her. If anything, it angered her more. “Natasha stop! I- I can call 911. You've been wanted by the police for a few years, isn't that right?” she huffed as she threw you onto the bed with ease. “Please Tash stop!” you cried as you felt her cold touch underneath your shirt. “You aren't marrying anyone. If you do, it'll be me. You're mine. You hear that?” you had to give in. Or else she would've done something to you. “Mhm! I'm yours. I'm all yours! Please Nat stop.” you held your breath as you felt the tip of the knife gently hit your skin.

She's not going to kill you. Right? She has hurt you before, but you doubt that she'd kill you. Or maybe she would. A shaky gasp escaped your mouth when you sensed the head of a gun underneath your chin. It can't be loaded. Can it? You whimper as she harshly tugged on your hair and pressed the gun harder against your skin. “Natasha! Nat.. please t–that's empty, right?” her lips grew into a slight smirk as she lowered the gun and pulled the trigger, aiming for the wall. You felt your blood go cold, it was loaded. She was going to kill you, wasn't she? That's what she wanted you to think. The second you heard the shot, your body slightly jumped. The knife that she held against your stomach lightly touched your skin.

“Natasha please. Let me go. I won't marry anyone, okay? Nat, we have a son– you aren't home half of the time! I have to take care of him. Please, Natasha.” you were thankful she put the gun away, but she still had the knife pressed against your body. “Thank you. I'm sorry, I- I shouldn't have said I'd marry someone else. I'm sorry Natasha—” “turn around.” you look up at her with a confused look, “what?” without letting you process any of what she said, Natasha grabbed you by the waist and flipped you over. You heard the knife clatter on the floor as she threw it onto the ground. You lay flat on your stomach on the bed. “God, you're so fucking annoying.” she quickly slid your pants off, leaving your legs exposed. “Natasha..” you stopped yourself from complaining. She was already upset, you didn't want to upset her more.

You felt her palm roughly hit your ass, causing you to slightly wince. “Count for me, kotenok.” she whispered as she sent another smack to your skin, “o-one.” she grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your face off the mattress. “Recount for daddy sweetheart.” you nodded as her hand hit your ass once more, “one.. t-thank you daddy.”

She traced the hem of your panties, chuckling slightly when her finger came in contact with damp fabric. “You got all worked up over that?” you didn't answer her. She slid her fingers against your inner thighs, relentlessly teasing your sensitive areas. “N-Natasha I..” she tore off your panties and tossed them on the floor. Your words get cut short with a muffled moan as she rubbed her fingers through your slippery folds, slamming your face against the mattress. “mmnh..” her touch felt like fire on skin, burning you up. “Tell me.. do you want daddy to fuck you?” you felt her press her fingers on your slit, gathering your slick and spreading it all over your cunt. “Nata– daddy please.” you didn't know if you were begging her to stop or to keep going.

“Get up.” you bit back a whimper and sat up on the bed. You watched patiently as her hands went to discard her jeans and boxers. Your eyes go straight to look at her thick, hardened dick. “Well?” you turn your gaze away from her. “Are you that dumb?” she sighed as she gripped onto your cheeks, forcing your mouth open. She pulled your face closer to her length and shoved a few inches inside your mouth. “mmph—” she buried her hand into your hair and pushed further into your mouth. “Be a good little bitch and suck.” you rolled your eyes and flattened your tongue along the veins of her cock.

She guided your head around her dick, shoving it deeper into your mouth. You slightly gagged as her tip hit the back of your throat. “Take it all in, baby girl.” her breath labored as your tongue teases and sucks her length. “Fuck..” her grip on your hair tightened as you sucked her cock vigorously, drool dripping down from your chin.

You didn't want this. She didn't care for you, but it felt so natural like it was meant to be. Like you were meant to be hers. But she wasn't yours, was she? She was yours too. You just didn't know. She didn't want you to know.

Your head bobbed up and down rapidly as her dick popped in and out of your mouth. “oh God!” her head threw back as you sucked harder on her girthy length, sinking it deeper and deeper into your mouth. It was then that she thrust her hips forward and her tip pushed back into your throat, causing you to gasp for air as you choked on her length and tears to spill from your eyes. “mmnph!” she didn't stop fucking your throat, her hand buried into your hair as she forced her cock deep into your mouth. “Fuck– I'm gonna cum in that slutty little mouth of yours. Take it.” you hear her say, and you felt two ropes of thick cum release into your mouth.

She pulled her length out of your mouth and brought her hand down to her dick and began pumping. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.” you could tell from her voice that she was close, you closed your eyes shut as her cum sputtered all over your face. “Shit..” she moaned softly as she came on your face. She lowered her hand down to grip your face, “daddy's sorry for having to ruin such a..” she examined your fucked out face, her cum and your saliva dribbling down the corners of your lips, tears rolling down your blushed cheeks. “..pretty little face.” she chuckled as she tapped her palm against your warm cheek.

“Get on the bed.” you complied and got up with shaky legs and laid on the bed. Natasha walked over to the edge of the bed and pulled your legs around hers. “What do you want daddy to do kotenok?” you were about to respond, but then she slipped her hand in between your thighs, making you let out an embarrassingly loud whimper. “Daddy please.” she raised her brow up and slid her thumb against your glistening slit. A cocky smirk played on her lips as she watched your hole twitch, and your body squirm underneath her. You let out a sigh of relief as she inserted 2 fingers inside of your pussy. She quickly pumped her digits in and out of your tight cunt, stretching your walls out for her cock. “Daddy– oh my God, I'm so close!” she pulled her fingers out of your cunt, “whores like you don't get to cum this soon.” you whined as you felt her leave you empty.

She grabbed the knife and swiftly sliced off your blouse, along with your bra, leaving your chest and stomach uncovered. “Natasha put that down. Please, please, I'll do anything.” you chanted pleas and begged her to drop the knife as she gently stroked your bare skin with the metal of the knife. “Nat..” you whimpered in fear as she poked your stomach lightly with the tip of the blade. She sighed as she threw the knife onto the floor.

“Shut up.” she muttered as she roughly held onto your hips and pushed a few inches of her length inside of your aching cunt. “oh daddy fuck!” she rocked your hips back and forth whilst she shoved deeper into you, sliding inside inch by inch. “How are you still so– fucking tight after all of that?” she grunted as she struggled to fit her cock entirely into you. “mm! You're so big daddy..” she thrusted deeper inside of you, earning a moan from your mouth as it hit your sweet spot. “oh fuck– right there daddy! You feel so good inside of me..” you hesitantly grip onto her muscular shoulders as you cry for more. She leaned down to press her lips against yours, pulling you in for a slow kiss. “You drive me crazy detka..” she mumbles breathlessly against your lips. You moan into the kiss as she thrusts deeper inside of you. “nmh.. Natty!” you gasp softly as she snapped her hips upwards.

“Are you close?” she grunted as she fucked harder into you. “..y-yes.” you were surprised that you were able to respond as your nails dug deep into her skin, leaving crescent shaped marks. “Beg. Tell me why you deserve to cum.” you mentally scoffed at her, “daddy please. Please I need to so badly.. please- please- please!” she snickered at your desperation. “Fine. Do it now it you won't get to cum later.” she said as she continued pounding away at you. You scream in pleasurement as you came all over her cock, your thighs trembling as your nails scratching at her back and shoulders, hard enough to draw blood.

She continued her movements on your cunt as she rolled her hips against yours, “ngh– daddy stop..” you muttered, all out of breath. “oh.. sweetheart, I'm not stopping till I finish inside of you.” she seemed unbothered by your whines and complains, her strong hands gripping your hips tightly to keep you from moving away. “N-Natasha please.” despite your attempts of getting her to stop, the whorish moans never stopped leaving your mouth. You clawed at her back as her tip pushed up to your cervix, “Gonna cum inside you baby.. fill you all up.” she groaned when she felt your spongey walls clench around her cock. She slightly smiled as she leaned down to pepper light, feathery kisses all over your stomach. “mhm..” you were at the point where you couldn't speak properly, everything seemed like a blur, all your words came out incoherently.

Her breaths became more strained and heavy as she fucked vigorously into you, “tell.. tell me you want me to cum inside you.” she breathed out, clear sweat glistened on her forehead. “I wan’ you to.. ” your mind hazy as you barely finished speaking. “You too tired to speak detka?” she chuckled, “no– Nat cum inside me.. please.” her lips curled into a small smile. “Whatever you say moya lyubov.” she said as she came deep inside of your cunt, painting your velvety walls white. “Fucking hell..” she panted as she laid against your limp body. “Natasha pull out.. ’m too sensitive.” she placed her lips over yours, softly kissing your plump lips. “Okay..” she whispered against your mouth as she slowly pulled out.

“Natasha..” you mumbled out her name, “yeah?” you weakly grasped her hand. “Stay.” her gaze softened as she lightly squeezed your hand. “Detka you know I can't.” tears pricked your eyes, “stay. Natasha, please.” you could hear your voice cracking as you spoke. “Please.. darling, I need you home. We need you home.” she wasn't going to stay. She'd leave like always. Right? She wouldn't listen to you. The thoughts spun in your head, “okay. Just this once.” your hand fell from hers. She was going to stay. “I can't let them find you two.” you furrowed your brows, “who?” she smiled and kissed your forehead. “Nothing. Go to sleep baby.” she dodged your question, but you were too tired to argue with her.

“Lay with me?” she nodded and lies down next to you. Snuggling her chin in the crook of your neck, “I love you.” she said as she pecked your cheek. A smile appeared on your lips when you felt a squeeze at your waist. “I love you too.”

[yestrday]

— TIE ME UP. yan! rich kid! childe x gn! mercenary! reader

your latest hit is a boy named ajax. the job's easy— kidnap him, bully him a bit, then send him back without any will to live. easy enough, it seems, but not everything will go the way you expect it.

( reader is not a good person; murder, mentions of torture; kidnapping; obsessive behavior, tying up, slight mentions of n/sfw, masochistic childe )

note. ahhhh im in a writing a slump so i decided to write the other part of anon's request to practice. idk if it's good enough, but childe will always be my go to whenever i want some disgusting yandere boy

you might like: childe's spiked drink

it's nothing you haven't seen. someone wants someone dead and they would pay millions just to see that come true. you whistle when you open the case of green bills for the nth time this day and the sight makes you smile.

what a haul you've gotten. despite the dread that's been growing inside you since you took this job, the million worth of cash inside this single suitcase is enough for you to retire. maybe you'll finally take a break from all this gory business, find a nice plot of land where the police can't find you, and make a farm for yourself. that sounds nice.

determined to finally finish this once and for all, you slam the suitcase shut and chuck it into the back of your car, along with the squirming ginger screaming at you through his gags.

"it'll be all over soon, love," you croon, sporting a wicked smile. "jus' get some sleep in here, mmkay?"

with one last muffled scream of his, you slam the trunk on the poor man's shaking expression and rev the engine to life.

"'ello there, babe," is the first thing the boy hears when he blinks his eyes awake. "good ting ya slept, hm? the road here was full of em potholes. not exactly pleasant for a passenger in the truck, right?"

it's a classic stereotype— that heavy country accent tinged with seduction and danger— even you're painfully aware of how cheesy your voice is. but it's what you were raised with, plus most of your victims dig the accent anyway, so might as well make use of it. the boy grimaces when the single fluorescent bulb swaying on the ceiling hits his sight, and he lets out a little grunt. 

"ajax childe. third son of the ceo of childe's toy corporation and now…" you plop yourself onto the wooden seat in front of him, nonchalantly waving the knife in front of his wide-eyed stare. "the target of some rich sod's hatred." you give him a lookover, from his ruffled ginger hair, his lean bod, down to his strong calves. clearly, he's been working out. you sigh in mock pity. "what the hell did ya do anyway? make off with someone's girl?" he's pretty enough to entertain the thought, and judging how flirtatious he acts in front of the paparazzi, that very well might be the case.

he protests against the gag once again, and you shake your head. "sorry, babe. not really in the mood to listen to sum brat scream." you tap your cheek as you contemplate on what to do with him. "hmm... they didn't actually want ya dead, if i'll be honest with ya. just bully ya a little till ya want yerself dead, y'feel? it's good to 'ave less blood on my hands, but hm, when i get commissions like these..." you cock your head, pondering over the countless victims you had over the last decade.

"they don't usually come out alive, yanno?"

another muffled scream through the gag, and you watch in boredom as he tries to wiggle his way out of his binds. clearly, however, it's futile when all he accomplishes is burn himself with the rope. well, what else was he expecting? you were a hired mercenary, he a mere ceo's son living a cushy life. there really was no challenge here.

but looking at him... you feel somewhat sympathetic. you have no respect for those high-class scum who like to hide behind fake smiles and faker compliments. but the kid in front of you was just some irresponsible young adult who just happened to be born into the elite, and well, if he wasn't the son of such a big corporation, he'd probably have gotten away with whatever he did. such was the consequence of having too many eyes on you. maybe it'd make you less worse of a human being if you let this kid air his grievances out.

you sigh, getting up from your spot. "alright, alright, i'll ungag you. just shut up already, jeez." he seems to jostle around less when you say that, and you swiftly untie the cloth to let him talk.

you already know what to expect— teary pleas, desperate bribes, maybe even some angry threats. all these are common in victims and more often than not are you forced to listen to all that shit before you decide to gag them again or just shoot them in the head. so you brace yourself for whatever agonizing scream they might have in store for you.

"ah..."

you grimace. here it comes.

"you're prettier than anything i've imagined..." he tilts his pretty face up, gazing at you with lovestruck eyes under the shine of the harsh light. your shock is mirrored in those loony eyes as his smile widens till it almost splits his face into two,

"...[your name]."

"what the fuck?!" instinctively, you recoil away from him, taking steps back while he continues to pin that heart-eyed stare on you. "what in the–?! how the fuck do you know me?!"

"oh, [your name], is there anything i don't know about you?" this... this freak sighs almost dreamily, and it makes you grimace by how slimy it is. "your name, your occupation (obviously), your favorite drinks, your... heh, three sizes!" he lets out a low giggle. "finally...! to finally see you right in front of my very eyes!"

you blanch. "three...?!" this cannot do. you are being outdone and outsmarted by some rich playboy. clearing your throat, you regain your composure and narrow your eyes at him in a glare (why... why is he shivering?!). "bluffs won't save you from your fate, childe."

you live a life in the shadows. leaving traces of yourself for people to find could spell to be your doom, and yet here was this kid claiming that he knew everything there is to you. it was a laughable attempt at a bluff, and he only caught you offguard by that disgusting grin of his. you're confident enough in your own abilities that you know that no one would be ever able to track you—

"[your name] [last name]. single father, three siblings, but they're all dead. you became a mercenary at age 16 and you go to your headquarters every weekend. you like the cafe at sixth avenue and you order the fourth thing on the menu almost every time." his grin widens when he sees the alarmed expression on your face. "should i tell you more?"

impossible. gritting your teeth, you pull him by his collar, almost tipping his chair over until you catch it with your knee. it... spreads his legs and pushes against his bulge, and you want to scrub yourself clean when you see his red blush and lip-bite. "how the fuck d'you know all that?" you snarl. you shake him. "tell me!"

"because i love you," he says, almost breathless. he looks at you with eyes so full of devotion and obsession that you might believe him. "there's not a single piece of you that i don't love."

you pull your lip back. "you're fuckin' disgusting."

"ah, but!" he wiggles in his chair, his clothes straining against the binds. "you're the one who tied me up like this! all vulnerable and ready for you to torture, right?"

you can't believe this man. "that's how kidnappings go, you idiot!" unable to hold on to this weirdo any longer, you let go of him and he and the chair he's tied to collapse to the floor. it's a nasty fall, but you're too busy rubbing your hands together in some attempt to rid yourself of the germs he may have transferred over to you.

the gasp of delight when he hits the floor grates like metal against your ear, and he squirms when you look down at him with such hate and disgust in those pretty eyes of yours. "is it starting? are you gonna torture me now?" your eyes flit to the array of tools you laid out on the counter, but now you feel reluctant to dirty this man's blood with the tools you painstakingly polished to shine. "ah~ ♡ i wonder what you're gonna do to me! are you gonna cut me up and leave me to bleed? tie me up till it hurts to breathe? ah, [your name] ♡" he calls your name with ecstasy. "i'm so excited to see what you'll do!"

with your back turned towards him and facing the tools, you don't grace him with a reply. instead, you bite your lip, panicked and pale expression reflected in the cold reflection of a knife.

'why me?!' your thoughts scream. 'i've never met this man in my life before!'

'how am i supposed to break someone who's gone too fucking far?!'

he continues to smile at your back, watching as you contemplate which torture device you'll bless him with for that night.

'so, so cute!' you're shorter than him, but somehow the thought of you dominating him and spilling his blood makes his jeans tighter. 'they're gonna make me go through sooo much pain, i can feel it! they'll have the power to kill me. they might kill me!'

just like that man you shot in that alleyway, eyes staring blankly at the mess of guts and brain splattered against the wall. there was no remorse in your eyes as you wipe the blood off your cheek with the back of your hand. no remorse as you stuff that body into a bag and make a mess all over yourself.

he remembers it clearly. your skintight black bodysuit, how the blood seemed to match your soulless eyes, the peek of tongue as you licked the blood from your thumb— he remembers it all too well.

how could he not, when he had his back pressed to the wall, out of your sight, hand clamped to suppress his noises. not a terrified scream, mind you. but his heavy breaths as he continued to observe you from a distance.

better than an angel. more divine than an angel. you were the reaper itself, stained in blood and black.

and his obsession with that reaper grew, as you revved off with your motorcycle with the corpse in tow, and he lay in the alley shadows with a hand in his jeans and blood at his feet.

if you had looked closely beneath all the money, maybe you'd see one damning clue that would tell you that this commission was a bad idea. a clue stitched at the bottom of the suit, fancy lettering showcasing initials in cursive:

a.c.

ajax childe's grin grows wider when he sees you finally settle on a tool. even when bound up and knocked to the floor, those hungry eyes and crazed grin seem to make him more of a predator than the you holding a knife.

[theredsuzuran]

Yandere Muzan x Reader

I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors, also for my crappy writing I hope It does not bore you lol. Slight mention of gore

It was the time of summer

A multitude of people hovering over one another in the vast space of the lively Asakusa city occupying the streets like tiny ants. Unfortunately it was same monotonous sight for kibutsuji Muzan progenitor of the morbid demon race, who seems to be roaming around uninterestingly looking for a suitable prey to hunt. The fleeting lives of mortals, their compassion, happiness, sorrow, pain held no value to him. They are pests who belong in the dirt or beneath his feet, inferior compare to a perfect being like himself. Nothing more than a tool that he won't hesitate to discard after his desires are fulfilled. All of a sudden his gaze felt upon a petite figure near a tailor shop, a large number of people gathering around her.

What's the matter, mister? Muzan inquired to a man next to him.

"if you are new definitely try her kimonos, now make way" the man said quickly as he rushed to the shop pushing all the people away. He was interested to know what the deal was about so he decided to stay for a while hoping it's worth the wait.

After a long delay muzan finally got the chance to view the women. As their eyes locked the dazzling city lights broader than the day itself felt dull in comparison for a moment, the once monochromatic world seems to change vibrantly with her luminous presence, As if goddess Amaterasu, the diety of sun herself have ascended from the heaven into the mortal realm. The demon lord stood there mesmerized by her breathtaking beauty, how can someone so close to perfection exist alongside those barbarians.

"How can I help you mister?" She questioned politely with her soft vocal. His endless thoughts were interrupted breaking the silence.

"Show me your kimonos"

And so his obsession started..

Days passed since his last encounter with the woman. He have come across numerous marvelous humans in everlasting lengthy life but never have his ruby eyes caught a glimpse of someone as alluring as her. The girl possesses an unique aura that differentiated her from the rest of the crowd, able to draw attention from the cold hearted creator of cannibalistic demons. At first muzan was just curious to know about that woman, possibly persuade her to become one of his underling because of the potentials she may carry. He frequently begun to visit her shop to but or sew different fabrics. Gaining basic information, like her name, likes and dislikes, etc. Her grandfather owned the tailor shop which sold finest quality garments from the beginning and were highly respected for their excellent tailoring. Continued by (y/n) at her family's will, who runs the shop with equal undying devotion.

She treated him with such kindness even though he was a ruthless demon not that she knew about it or let alone the existence of demons. The deepest corner of his dark heart illuminated with pure light whenever she was around and he came to the conclusion that she was the ray of sunshine he desires to perceive. Eversince he was cured from his fatal illness the only goal in his life was to conquer the sun which prevents him to achieve absolute perfection, in order to live an eternal and indestructible life or so he thought until that very day his eyes laid upon you. It would be stupid to think that demons are capable of experiencing love, concepts of feelings are completely foreign in their conciousness, it was more like obsession. His megalomania makes him believe he needs you no he wants you.

Alas, if only it was a fairytale. The king does not always gets what he desires and same goes for the demon lord when he finds out that his beloved darling already has a lover. As he witnessed the sight of you hugging your partner with passion. The way her eyes flutter infront of him when he caresses her cheeks making her turn away bashfully and how she hold his hand with her delicate ones while exchanging vows of love and loyalty towards each other made his blood boiled with fury. If anyone who can hold her fragile frame is none other but the demon lord himself yet there she was sharing intimacy with some filthy creature. His narcissistic self was put down with a lowlife, he cannot accept that his (y/n) was claimed someone else's. It was something he would never allow to happen.

"Kibutsuji san would you like to buy something today as well?" The women who now acknowledge his presence asked him cheerfully.

"Should I visit you later" a force smile graced on his pale features.

"Oh no, it's fine, let me introduce you to my fiancee" she said excitedly.

"Nice to meet you kibutsuji san" your fiancee said

"Pleasure to meet you as well" The demon scoffed under his breath but Kibutsuji was quite adamant he knew it was not hard to turn the tables anytime sooner as with a blink of an eye he can get rid of him by simply ordering his underlings without even hesitating to dirty his hands exclusive for his precious darling. But that was not what muzan was planning to do at all as his mind was engulfed with much sinister thoughts.

To insanity?

"You have been restless for a long time, what's wrong my child?" A man asked with a look of concern written all over his face looking straight at the figure of an anxious woman roaming around impatiently within the house.

"Its been a week father since he last wrote a letter to him" she mumbled softly disappointment painted across her features. The father could not help but laugh a little by her daughter's remark.

"Father please it is serious"

"I am sorry sweetheart but it might be that your fiancee is busy with wedding preparation" which made sense because the wedding would be taking place after three day and it was obvious that he was caught up with the arrangement. However there was a strange feeling inside her stomach which made her believe otherwise.

As the days passed the wedding day came close, with (y/n) still not receiving any message from her lover. Worried her to the core at this point all she wanted was to make sure of his safety as something constantly felt off. The guests came in one by one for the wedding ceremony but there was no sign of the groom.

It was getting unbearable for her to remain confined. Ignoring her father's request to stay inside she went outside in hope to check whether or not her lover was approaching but once again she was greeted with emptiness. Her eyes swell up with tears forming on both corners allowing her body to slowly hit the surface as she convinced herself that her lover will never come. The worst was yet to happen and before she could make any movement the ground beneath her feet started shaking and a shoji door opened consuming her into the darkness.

It was just the start of her miserable life under the demon's control.

"So you are finally awake", a sudden voice came echoing into her eyes as she slowly opened her eyes after regaining her consciousness. She moved her hands upwards in order to ease the headache only to find her hands tied up with shackles, a chilling sensation of overwhelming fear filled her entire senses as she remembered what happened prior.

"Where am I? Why am I chained?" Who are you?" she demanded furiously at the mysterious figure infront her which was now advancing at her direction from the dark corner of the dimly litted room.

"You are quite an impatient one?" The man gripped her chin roughly as her eyes protruded out with bewilderment.

"Can't even remember your daily customer?" A wicked smile curved across his countenance.

"K..Kibutsuji san" she parted her lips. Tears forming in her eyes once again. This made muzan even more irritated as he tightened his grip on her chin. (Y/n) whimpered with pain crying out loud.

"Your shouting won't help dear nobody apart from me can hear you scream" he said bluntly with his cold apathetic voice.

"Why?" (Y/n) lowered her head down holding his hand with her delicate ones trying her best to get a hold of him.

"Pardon?" Muzan inquired as he stared at your quivering form with his souless eyes there was no empathy in them or whatsoever although he felt pity. He cannot deny the fact that he was indeed attracted to her that's the reason why he put her into so much hassles.

"Where is my lover?" She asked sternly with her voice shaking a bit.

"Oh" muzan responded his hand still holding her chin tightly. This made her even more anxious she was unaware of the power he might possess and definitely she didn't had any intentions to risk her life.

"Why can't you humans move on and accept circumstances given before you?" it startled her as she cannot process what he meant.

"I don't.. u..understand" she said.

"Then you have to learn to accept me as your partner" muzan replied coldly (y/n) sat there looking at him with disbelief her heart and soul belonged to someone else and for a long time they have been together it's absolutely impossible to change the reality she was accustomed with just because some maniac wants to make her his partner.

"I can never" she murmured with disgust hinted in her voice. "I love him" throwing daggers in his direction not ready to submit her futile attempts of protest should pissed the demon lord even more but to her surprise she saw him smiling menacingly and in the corner of her eyes she saw the figure of her debilitate lover.

"Start from his fingers" muzan ordered one of his subordinate as they began chopping one of his finger making him scream in pain.

"No! please don't hurt him" trying to break free from the shackles she was tied with realizing it was fruitless she fell on the demon's knee begging with all the strength left within her in a last desperate attempt.

"You left me with no other choice, dear" he explained playing his sick games of manipulation on her. This was exactly what he needed to break her mind and she cannot help but rely on him pleading for his forgiveness feeding on his massive ego providing him ultimate satisfaction to witness the quivering frame of his darling clinging onto his knee in pure submission.

"Please I will do anything you say" she requested shaking like crazy.

"Anything?" Muzan questioned raising his eyebrow

"Yes" she replied without any hesitation.

"Be mine"

She already knew that he wanted this and she readily obliged in order to save her beloved, sacrificing her own life. Her only purpose was now to satisfy the demon lord, he was successful until the very end and it won't take long to make her completely his.

[catzula]

It’s hard NOT to be a fangirl (especially when the setter is Oikawa Tooru)

A/N: is it evident how much in love I am with this man? I cried at his backstory, I did that. Well, uh, hope you enjoy! And I have a mountain of hw and exams coming up so I might not be able to write something so thats that.

Warnings: spoilers!!! For the spring tournament so beware. Cursing? 5.9k? Oikawa crying in the end? Its NOT angst tho. Also not edited cuz its 1 am

Genre: fluff, Iwaizumi's sister!reader

Synopsis: maybe confusing you with a fangirl wasn't exactly starting off the right foot, but Oikawa thought the stranger that sat with him till the beginning of his next match was... quite charming.

Oikawa might've been many, many things, but he was not a coward.

Most of the time, at least.

Whenever it was his feelings he had to be brave about, he never succeeded, especially not when they were towards you. You, who laughed and stood with him, never across but always beside him. Oikawa couldn't afford to be brave.

It was the first day of the Interhigh matches when he had met you. To say Oikawa was having a bad day would be an underestimation. He got dumped by his girlfriend that very day, right before his match, and brutally ripped out of the soft, consoling presence of his fans by Iwaizumi. He just wanted to be fawned over and comforted, maybe eat a snack or two while he was at it, but he didn't even get to do that?

"Stop pouting, Shittykawa." Iwaizumi muttered when Oikawa made an exaggerated 'hmph!' sound for the 20th time the last 5 minutes. "We need to go to the gym, and you need to focus."

"You need to focus too!" Oikawa protested, "but look at you getting ready to go to a date- hey, agh!" Holding the back of his head, Oikawa pouted even deeper this time. "You didn't need to hit me!" Oikawa whisper-yelled.

"I told you to shut the fuck up. Hold your tongue if you don't want to get beaten." Iwaizumi whispered angrily, sending a side glance at his coach to try and see if he had heard stupid Oikawa. Iwaizumi took a breath of relief when the coach didn't even look his way.

"We're gonna sit in the back stands so coach won't be able to see us. You can still watch the game from there, too." Iwaizumi finally spoke after they arrived in the gym, eyes scanning the room to find the perfect hiding place.

"You mean I am gonna sit in the back stands, all alone, cold and freshly dumped." Oikawa frowned, his frown only growing deeper when his best friend rolled his eyes. "Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong! As you go on your marry way with your girlfriend, I will be sitting here alone and wallow in my sadness for what... 6 hours?!"

Iwaizumi clenched his teeth, knowing Oikawa had a point. Sighing, he rubbed his temples. "Look, fuck, I'm sorry, okay? Should I tell her I can't come?" He asked gruffly, and despite all his brutality and harsh words, Oikawa knew he would do it if he said the word. "Nah, it's okay. Have fun in your date!" Oikawa answered, earning a baffled glare from the boy. 

"Then why the fuck have you been guilt tripping me the past hour?"

"I'm lonely, Iwa-chan! I want attention." Oikawa grinned, professionally avoiding the slap coming his way, his grin growing even wider when Iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. " I wonder how I didn't murder you already. Anyway, settle there, and don't move anywhere until the match. And I mean, anywhere, no visiting your fans, looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror, taking selfies before the windows, nothing."

"Okay, okay, I'm not dumb!" Oikawa whined as he threw his gym bag on the free seats. "Say hi to her for me, Iwa-chan!" He called after his best friend. 

~~~

It had been almost an hour since Iwa had left, and Oikawa was losing his mind. Why did he agree to this again? He wanted to sit with the rest of his team, that sat across the court but Iwaizumi had told him not to move anywhere (and Oikawa was still a bit hurt at how grateful they seemed when Iwa had told them Oikawa would be sitting separately), so he had opted to social media. 

Oikawa wasn't aware of someone else entering the secret back stands and getting closer to him as he watched a short compilation of cat videos. "Oikawa-kun?" You approached him, hiding your snicker when he jumped in his place to look at you. He was quick to hide his shock, a mask of smugness quickly finding its place on his pretty face. 

"That's me." He smiled, his chocolate eyes scanning you and meeting your eyes back quickly. He watched as you sat a seat away from him, close but not approachable. He quirked his brow when you stood quiet, holding your phone a little too tightly. A shy fan, how sweet, he thought, smirking as he turned your way. He had an idea of what you wanted.

"Did you, perhaps, want a photo? I might not look as I normally would, though." Oikawa suggested, going by how you held your phone, checking the time every once in a while, you wanted a picture. His brows raised when you didn't say a word but bit your lip as if holding in a smile.

"That's your que to say 'no, Oikawa-kun, you look amazing!" He told you, not expecting your laugh to ring in his ears, baffled both by how sudden and how pretty the sound was. "No, you do look tired, actually." You finally answered, earning a gasp from the boy across you. 

"Oh, to think I was going to see the days of my fans calling me tired-looking and ugly!" He dramatically brought his hand to his face, peeking through his fingers to see what you were going to do. You should at least deny he looked ugly, he thought, but his eyes grew wide when you chuckled. Now you were just rude! Did he really look that bad?

"Sorry, I'm not a fan." You pressed your lips in an apologetic smile, trying to hold it sorry and not smug when you spotted the blush on his cheeks. "Oh- I thought..." He cleared his throat to hide the embarrassment. "Most of the pretty girls like you who aproach me are my fans, so I just assumed." He spoke when he finally managed to find back his high-toned, flirty persona.

"That crowd of groupies in the entrance should belong to you, too, then?" You teased, not expecting him to answer yes, bursting into laughter with the unexpected positive answer.

"I kind of have to ask, though, if you're not my fan, why did you approach me, calling my name?" He seemed nonchalant as if he was used to that, but you had to admit it was a bit creepy.

"Oh, Haji- Iwaizumi sent me." You corrected yourself when you remembered how your brother had told you not to tell Oikawa you were siblings (he had warned you about how flirtatious Oikawa could get, and he might see it as a challenge if he figured you were his best friend's sibling. You didn't think it was true, they were best friends after all, but it was better to be cautious anyway.

"Iwa-chan? Ah, so he does care after all!" Oikawa blurted out, his words reminding how your brother had sent you here and how it was something way different than caring. "Well, he did want me to make sure you didn't leave here or call your ex. Heard you had some... problems."

"Cold as a stone, as always." He sighed, and you chuckled. "Can't exactly call it a problem, but being dumped isn't the best feeling in the world." He shrugged, taking a sip out of his water before flashing you a charming smile. Your brows furrowed when he admitted he was dumped, of course, Hajime had already told you that, but judging the boy by his looks, his nonchalant acts, and everything your brother had told to warn you, you hadn't expected him to admit that, especially not to a stranger. 

"Well, uh, that sucks." You answered awkwardly, not knowing how to approach the situation. "I'm sorry about that."

"Its okay, as it was bound to happen, anyway. Our relationship wasn't exactly sailing smoothly." He shrugged, but it was evident he was a bit broken about it. "I- uh, I'm not the person people would come for advice in these kind of situations, but I can... listen?"

You felt something warm blooming in your chest when his gaze locked on you, chocolate brown eyes the prettiest you've ever seen, but the surprised, almost grateful look was what made you feel that way. Did he only want someone to listen?

"It's okay, I don't want to burden you with my stupid problems." He chuckled, pulling his playful nature back on the surface. "I don't even know your name."

"Oh, shit, you're right!" You laughed when you realized you hadn't even told him your name but had offered a shoulder to cry on. "I'm Y/N, nice to meet you." You stuck your hand out, his warm (big-) hand gripping yours and causing that warm feeling that was in your chest to spread even more.

"Y/N-chan, it's very nice to meet you." He winked. "So, what is your relationship with our dearest Iwa-chan?"

"Oh- well, uh... you could say he sees me as a sister." You shrugged, not expecting him to pout sympathetically. "Oh no, sibling-zoned? That's harsh, man."

"No it's- hey, you have no right to pity me, you're the one freshly dumped!"

"Hitting low, are we?" He laughed, making you laugh with him. "You look like you're gonna die if you don't ask me how we broke up." He sighed after a second, although he still had a playful smirk. "I guess I have to tell you." He sighed one more time. "We're stuck here for at least 5 hours, anyway."

~~~

"Here you go, a granola bar. Are you sure you didn't want anything else?" You tossed the granola bar to Oikawa, who had his legs on the seats in front of him, making himself comfortable in the uncomfortable seats.

"Yeah, that's enough. Thank you, Y/N-chan." He smiled cheekily, opening the packet with his teeth. "The match is in about an hour, anyway, I shouldn't eat much."

"Sure, whatever you say. Well you were talking about a new player before I left."

"Before your stomach started to scream, you mean." He laughed, and you found yourself watching the smile. These past few hours had flown by so quickly that it almost felt like barely an hour. Oikawa was easy to talk to, and you always found something new to talk about, laughing almost at everything he said. He was really charming, and the confidence that oozed out of every move he did, every word he spoke was attractive, you had to admit.

But as much of a smug player he could be, he often acted childish, too, especially when he talked about a certain Kouhei of his did you see the childlike jealousy and competitiveness clearly. Though despite that, he would have a fond, soft look in his eyes whenever he talked about his teammates, making you feel almost jealous at how affectionate he looked about them.

You knew he was charming and flirtatious, your brother had warned you not to get close because he could and would have you falling for him in no time, but you had underestimated him. You had thought he was acting overly cautious as always, but apparently not.

You saw him checking his phone for a new message. "I gotta go warm up now." He told you as he stood up, the playful glint in his eyes not being missed by you. "I trust you'll watch and cheer for me, right, Y/N-chan?" His smirk was self-satisfied, already knowing the answer, but you didn't want to give him the pleasure. "I'd rather cheer for the ace, actually, much cooler than a setter."

Another dramatic gasp came from the proud setter, making you laugh. "How dare you! Setters are much cooler than aces, I'll have you know. I'll prove it in this match, too." He leaned towards you, and although you already knew how long he was, having him towering over you like this sent goosebumps down your spine. "I'll prove it, just make sure you watch closely." 

~~~

"So, was I right or was I right?" Your phone chimed with a new message, and you instantly knew who it was that sent the message. You opened Instagram, accepting the message request. 

"I couldn't tell since I was watching the ace the whole time, didn't have the chance to see if you were cooler." You texted back, almost able to see the pout forming on his lips on the other side of the screen. It was a lie, too. The moment you saw his serve, you were unable to take your eyes off him. He looked like a different person on the court. It was almost scary, how focused he suddenly became the moment he grabbed the ball, how he was aware of everything that was happening around him, developing strategies half you didn't even understand and it was terrifyingly beautiful, you had to admit. 

"Mean! And I had played exceptionally well just because you were watching :(" You giggled at the text, not noticing how your brother's eyes were narrowed and turned to you instead of the TikToks his girlfriend had sent him. "Who are you talking to?"

"Hm?" You flinched, so concentrated on your phone, you had forgotten your brother was there, too. "Oh, no one. My friend sent me a meme." You stared back at your brother, who was still watching you with narrowed eyes, waiting for you to crack, but you didn't. He nodded curtly, and though he could've pursued it further if not for his phone starting to buzz, the name of his girlfriend appearing on the screen. 

"Gotta take this." He told you, standing up and making his way to his room. "Don't stay up late texting." He told you as a warning. 

You wished you had taken your brother's advice the next morning when he came in to wake you up. You had texted Oikawa for hours into the night, only stopping when you fell asleep mid-conversation.

"Y/N, I need you to come to the sport center again, today." Hajime told you as you were brushing your teeth, and he was putting gel in his hair to make it look like his signature spiky style. "Again?" You rolled your eyes, earning a soft slap on your head from your brother. 

"Don't talk with your mouth full, and don't roll your eyes at me."

"I'll do whatever I- Ow! Okay, okay, I'll be there!" You muttered angrily, but a part of you, the smallest part of you, wasn't as angry as you showed him to be. 

~~~

You were there before him, this time. It had been almost 10 minutes since you had arrived, but Oikawa was nowhere to be seen (and you got ready especially neatly this time! What a shame). You sighed, opening your phone to text Hajime Oikawa wasn't here just as you felt a pair of warm hands closing your eyes from your back. 

"Quick, tell me the coolest volleyball position!"

"Ace!" You answered and heard his exaggerated sigh. "No, Y/N-chan, I thought we clarified this yesterday!"

"I never admitted to it, though." You told him with a sly smile, causing his fake anger and annoyance to fall and a laugh to breakthrough. "Clever little Y/N-chan." He muttered, plopping down to the seat next to you. 

"You look tired." You remarked, making him gasp. "And whose fault is that? You fell asleep! I waited an hour for you to write back, thinking you had something else to do." He frowned, making you chuckle.

"I take none of the blame, you talk too much." You teased.

"Only with people I like." He shot back, catching you off guard and making your eyes widen. "Ah, finally, I won this round!" He cheered. "You, on the other hand, look especially nice today, madame."

"Thank you, kind sir, I got a good night sleep, unlike you." You smiled cheekily, and he was about to answer before loud cheering filled the room and made you wince. You noticed how almost everyone was on their feet, watching the game closely.

"What's going on?" You asked the boy sitting next to you, now also watching the game with a Cheshire cat smirk.

"Karasuno's game started." He answered without taking his eyes off the game. "It was the freakish quick they used just then that caused the cheering."

"The freakish quick?" You repeated. 

"Yeah, watch." He told you, sounding excited and annoyed at the same time. You turned your eyes to where he was pointing at, a short, ginger boy. Your brows furrowed, trying to understand just why- 

"Oh, shit." You gaped when the boy flew over the court in mere seconds. The ball was on the other side of the net in almost less than a second, and it took you a moment to realize they had just made a spike.

"Oh shit, indeed," Oikawa answered, his smirk still on his lips, but his eyes weren't looking humored. "That little bastard, he had to be this fucking talented." He muttered, speaking almost to himself. 

"You don't look worried, though." You smiled. "There is no reason for me to be worried." He smirked proudly in answer, although it had a slight waver to it. "I'm much better than him as a setter. What worries me is the team itself."

"Are they that good? You looked much better in the match yesterday."

"Ah, I knew you were watching me, Y/N-chan! I'm too pretty not to look at." He swiped a soft-looking lock of hair out of his face with a playful smile. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." You muttered, hiding your embarrassment from him by turning back to the game. "See him, the short boy in the back, he's the libero." Oikawa told you, getting slightly closer to explain, and you would've understood it if it wasn't for how close he was all of a sudden. "He's one of the best I've seen, actually."

"W-what makes him so special?" You asked, turning your eyes back to the game from his pretty face (as if he wasn't handsome enough, he also had a good side profile?!) "That." he answered, his eyes glinting with something you could say awe. You turned back to the boy who leaped to the ground after the ball, his hand sliding over the surface and sending the ball straight up. "His reflexes are unbeleivable, and he's fast and smart, like the rest of his team." He explained further, not aware of how focused he suddenly was, and it was clear he was passionate about the sport. You had never understood why your brother felt devastated after a lost game, or why he was cheering on the top of his lungs, sometimes pushing himself so hard in training that he passed out, coming home late almost every day because of his practice.

But seeing Oikawa watch the game, seeing him in the game, you felt like you could understand what it was. You could never grasp the feeling, but you could understand what it was. And it was infuriating, made you jealous, and you couldn't understand why, but it also amazed you, making you yearn for the strange feeling.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must be boring you to death." He realized, bringing his hand to scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment, cheeks flushing slightly after talking for almost an hour about everything going in the game, explaining them all in detail. 

"No, no its fine!" You answered, laughing at his flushed face. It was funny how he was a charming, devilish, smart, and manipulative guy at one second and a volleyball geek the other. "It helps me appreciate the game better." You shrugged, not aware of how his eyes glinted with your answer. "But don't you think I realized how you're overlooking everything the setter does. You didn't say anything about him."

"What, you're interested in him?" He pouted, causing you to laugh. 

"I didn't say I was interested, I'm just telling you you're ignoring him!" You protested after your laugh, but he still had a frown. "Sounds like you're interested, to me."

"No! Okay, okay, keep ignoring him, then. But don't think I missed the jelaousy-" You couldn't finish your sentence because of a sudden hand closing on your lips. "Nope, we don't say that here." He whispered, and somehow, you were able to hear him despite the loud cheering, the crowd, and the loud thumps of your heart.

"What, saying you're jealous?" You spoke beneath his fingers, noticing how his smirk grew wider and cheeks flushing pinker.

"Yep, let's not repeat that and I'll take my hand off you." He waited a few seconds as you stood silent, removing his hand, still having a suspicious look in his eyes. "Good girl." He told you, causing your eyes to widen and shout a protest. "O-oikawa! What the fuck?!"

"What, I didn't mean anything?" He answered innocently, but there was still a smirk on his lips. "Well, okay, I'll tell you about him if you're so curious." He sighed.

"As I said before, he's my Kouhei." You nodded for him to go on. "He's... talented. Very talented. A genius, actually." He laughed uncomfortably. "He's not on my level yet, but his talent... it even makes up for it and I hate to see how despite all my days I spent training, he's still better than me easily."

"I- oh." You muttered, not expecting something like this, especially for him to admit someone else was better than him and will always be better than him.

"Tomorrow we're playing with them." He told you, and despite the forced smile, you could see how he clenched his teeth. "I can't- I won't lose to him."

"You won't." You agreed.

"I'll fight as hard as I can but we won't lose to them. I'll fight Shiratorizawa, I'll play against Ushiwaka and show him, prove him I did the right thing by choosing Seijoh and not his dumb school." He looked determined, eyes glinting with such determination that even though you had no idea what he was saying at that point, you wanted to agree and cheer him on.

"You will." You agreed once again, causing him to smile. "I'm sorry, I think I'm just a bit stressed."

You smiled, shrugging as if to say it's nothing. "No, no problem, I understand what you mean. It must be nerve-wracking."

"Well, it is."

"I'm horrible at advice, but uh, want me to show you what I do when I'm stressed? Like before exams and stuff. It might help." You smiled, extending your hand out to show him, not expecting him to do the same, and hold your hand like a handshake.

"You're right, that does help." He grinned, shaking your hand and making you burst into laughter. "That wasn't what I was going to do!"

"Oh, it wasn't? Still helped, though!" He told you innocently, teasing you even more. "C'mon, stick your hand out like this." You giggled.

"Now start drawing-" you told him, focusing on drawing shapes and letters in his hand. He was going to say a snarky remark at how that wasn't how it went, but Oikawa couldn't bring himself to stop you from doing whatever you were doing as he watched you focus on his hand, fingers running over his calloused ones, the tip of your tongue sticking out from the corner of your mouth without realizing, and every move of your finger sent goosebumps down his body.

Noticing you had lost yourself in thought, absent-mindedly going on drawing on his hand for a good few minutes, you raised your eyes to meet his brown ones. "Does that... help?"

"It- uh, it does. I'll need you to do this before the game tomorrow, too, though." He smirked playfully, his hand closing on yours just as he said it. "Well, I'm glad I could help." You shrugged, trying to hide how embarrassed you were. You could tell he already knew how you were feeling by the smile on his lips, but instead of teasing you about it, he turned to the game without letting your hand go, smiling even wider when you didn't pull it, either.

~~~

"You guys were great at the game today." You texted Oikawa that night, not sure whether he would answer, though your thoughts disappeared when he texted back instantly. 

"It must be your doing." He wrote, sending a picture of him doing the peace sign right after. 

"I don't think I can come early tomorrow, though. I won't be able to do it again. Are you ready for the game tomorrow?"

"Oh no, how could you? I can never overcome the stress now. Will you let me call you if I say I'm not ready?" He texted back, making you chuckle. 

"Just this once."

Your phone started ringing right after, a 'yahoo' greeting you when you picked it up.

"Hi, Oikawa-kun."

"Are you free?" He asked, and you shrugged as if he was across you and not on the other side of the phone. "I was getting ready to bed."

"Thinking of me before bed, you must have a crush on me, Y/N-chan." He chuckled, somehow still able to tease you through the phone. "Hey, I-"

"No, actually, don't answer that." He stopped you. "I had something else in mind when I called you, but you cute voice is too distracting." He sighed. 

"Oh." You answered, making him laugh, his laugh ringing in your ears. 

"Yeah, well... I was wondering, I mean after the match tomorrow." He cleared his throat. "No, actually, will you cheer for me tomorrow?" He finally asked, and you could tell he was holding his breath.

"Cheer for you?" You repeated.

"Yeah, only- only for me." He spoke, this time merely a whisper. "I mean, of course you cheer for me, everyone does because I'm that-"

"Yes, Oikawa." You laughed and cut his self appreciating ramble off. "I'll cheer for you, and only you."

"Y-you will? Well then, maybe you'll accept my offer to perhaps grab a coffee or something after the game? To make up for not being there with me tomorrow?" You were trying to stifle a laugh at how unsmooth he was despite his reputation when he spoke again. "Am I- am I pushing it? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." 

"No, you're not making me uncomfortable!" You protested quickly, already aware of how dramatic he could get. "I'm just, well, surprised. But yes, I'd like to grab a coffee with you. Anywhere but those god awful stands, actually." You chuckled, hearing the relieved breathe coming from his side of the line. 

"Well, if that's settled," he spoke, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "Tell me, Y/N-chan, what's your favorite color?"

Wow, you thought, he really sucked at flirting. 

~~~

"I'm here." You texted both your brother and Oikawa. It was merely minutes away from the start of the game, all because of a dumb chemistry quiz you had at school. You finally found a free seat when you noticed they were done warming up and were getting ready.

"Good, we're about to start the game. I'll probably meet my gf after the game, so don't start crying if you don't see me." Was the first text you got, rolling your eyes at how much of an idiot your brother was. "Yeah, whatever, not like I'm here to see you." You texted back, noticing how his head perked up when he read the text, eyes scanning the seats to find you as he texted a "WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!"

"Wish me luck, Y/N-chan, just remember your promise to cheer for me ;p" Oikawa texted back, also raising his head to search you in the crowd, but he was successful at finding you, eyes locking for a second, of course, he sent a playful wink at you.

The game started after that, and you could swear you were losing years of your life with each given and taken points. You had screamed at the top of your lungs at one point, so worked up, you sometimes forgot what was happening.

"Oikawa, good serve!" You screamed (he had told you to say that when he was serving the day before, and you could see it immediately brought a smile on his lips). 

The third set was the worst, you thought. No one ever got to widen the point gap, always one of them at match point, points being given and being taken, and you were sure you were going to lose your mind if they-

You watched as Oikawa ran to receive a ball, running so fast that he was unable to stop himself from crashing into the table, falling on his bad knee that you could only imagine how much it hurt, but not before pointing at Hajime, your brother, the ace. He set an incredible ball for him, incredible even for someone like you who didn't know anything other than the basics about volleyball.

You could feel tears swelling in your eyes as he tumbled into the table, pulling himself back up almost immediately and limping back towards the court.

He was... he was determined to win. 

But he couldn't.

You watched as Oikawa tried to receive the ball flying towards him and failed. You couldn't watch when he realized he failed. He lost. But he was still there to make his teammates gather for the lineup, patting them on the back to cheer them up, thanking the crowd, but his face was down, helping his teammates collect themselves back, your brother too when he was also devastated inside.

Still, Oikawa managed to hold it all in, unlike your brother and most of the team that was crying. You couldn't hide your disappointment in, either, eyes already wet with tears because you thought they were going to win, and they thought they were going to win too, and seeing Oikawa like this, it hurt. You watched them as they left the court, your eyes following the brunette who had separated himself from the rest of the team, going somewhere else with a quick pace. 

You rose to your feet without even realizing it, running after him without thinking what to say or to do, but you just wanted to be there, and you were so focused on finding him that you hadn't realized Hajime following his friend or rather, you, either. 

You were about to enter the room Oikawa had entered a minute before you when someone held you by the arm and pulled you back. "Y/N, don't." Your brother warned you, and maybe you should've listened since they were friends for years. "It's not- you shouldn't go in, not right now. Give him time." 

He sighed when you freed your arm from his grip. "He wouldn't want you to-" the door shut in his face, and he only got a glimpse of his best friend's tear-stricken face, "-see him like that." Iwaizumi finished his sentence as a whisper to himself.

You thought this might've been a bad idea the moment you entered the room. "O-oikawa?"

"What are you doing here?" You heard him say, the room dim-litted, making it near impossible to see his expression, but something in you told you, you didn't want to. "I'm- well, I'm here to see if you're okay-"

"Get out." You heard him say, merely a whisper but still there. "I don't want you to see me like this, stop looking at me! I don't want to see the same pity I see at everyone else's face, pitying me for losing to my own Kouhei and-" His voice getting higher and higher with each word, he was almost screaming the last few words. So you hugged him, you didn't know what led you to do so, was it instinct to relieve his tension? You didn't know, but it still worked, you noticed. 

His stiff muscles started to relax with the sudden contact, and though he stood as still as a stone, not hugging you back, you didn't feel rejected. "Shh, I know." You whispered, breathe brushing over his skin and sending goosebumps down his spine. 

"We lost." He whispered, a sob finding its way out of his lips. His arms came up, hugging and pulling you to himself, almost as if he tried to swallow you whole, burying his face to your hair. He was big, much bigger than you, for sure, so the sobs that shook him shook you, too, but you didn't mind. 

"We lost." He sobbed again, and again, and again and again. It took him a while to let it all out, but he felt better when he did. His arms were still around you when his cries had died, your scent affecting him to relax.

"Thank you." You heard him whisper as he pulled back, not looking in your eyes once. "Of- of course." You shrugged, feeling somewhat awkward as he wiped his face with a tissue. 

"Well," he spoke, looking in your eyes for the first time for what felt like hours, "that's me. The Oikawa Tooru. Now you know me better than almost anyone else." He shrugged, trying to sound and look indifferent but failing miserably. His voice and his hands shaking, eyes looking at you with almost fear.

"Are you going to leave now?"

"Leave?" You repeated. 

He shrugged. "Now that you've seen I'm not the clever captain or the charming playboy, but a- an insecure, jealous man, who is now also a failure, are you going to leave?"

"Oikawa," you whispered, noticing he was more insecure than he let on. "Just because you are more than what you look like, it doesn't cancel the others. You're still the smart, cunning, and amazing captain, the charming flirt who made me fall for him in mere days, and the man who lost a match with a point. A man, striving to be better than everyone else, with goals and a purpose in life. I don't think I could leave you for having a purpose in life." You chuckled. 

"Well, that of course if you-" Before you got to finish, you felt pressure on your lips, stopping you from talking. It was his soft lips, this time, making you silent. It was a soft kiss, his hand cupping your cheek and pulling your face towards his, his lips were almost brushing yours, but it still felt heavenly. 

"I think we should go before your brother marches in and kills us both." He whispered to your lips with a sly smile. "Yeah, I think you're- wait, you knew he was my brother?!" You exclaimed, making him chuckle.

"Of course I did, who do you take me for? I am the clever captain of Seijoh, I knew it the moment you told me you were like a sister to him."

"Well, the clever captain of Seijoh, use your brain to find us another way out but the door, since I'm pretty sure Haji is guarding it." 

"Ah, I have the perfect idea." He snickered, picking up his phone, and entering the name of Hajime's girlfriend.

"Tooru, where are you, are you okay, do you-"

"Hey, hey, I'm alright, I just need a favor." Oikawa whispered into the phone. "I'm stuck inside a room, and the door is being guarded by Iwa-chan whose waiting to kill me, so please get him out of here?"

"Tooru, are you with a girl?" You heard the voice screaming on the other end of the line, making you both wince. "Please just help me just this once?" 

You heard her sigh. "Okay, okay, hang in there." She closed the phone, and it took only two seconds for your brother's phone to ring.

You were in awe when Hajime suddenly screamed, "What?! Whose checking you out? I'm fucking coming baby, don't move anywhere." sprinting down the hall.

"You're a magician." 

"I'm amazing." He muttered right before leaning in for yet another kiss, smiling against your soft lips.

[neo-culture-mafia]

[02:35AM] “I thought you’d be sleeping by now.” You announced after a few good minutes silently watching Sungchan playing with the soccer ball in the training open area.

“S-senior, how long have you been there?” Sungchan quickly stopped the ball on the floor as he awkwardly stared back at you as if he got caught doing something wrong.

“There is no one looking, Sungchan. There’s no need to call me like that.” You giggled softly, patting at the empty space next to you on the stairs where you sat. “Come here.”

His stare softened a bit by your easygoing spirit, but he was still visibly tense. Being the newbie was hard, but having to always be conscious about not letting show that he already knew you and Jungwoo from a long way back was harder.

“Did I wake you up?” He asked as the realization of how late it was finally hit his consciousness. “My bad, it wasn’t my intention.” He apologized, sitting right next to you.

“No, don’t worry. I barely sleep when Jungwoo is not around anyways.” Your half-explanation stirred up Sungchan's curiosity.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why is that? I remember that you used to sleep so deeply in between classes in high school that I and Jungwoo always had a hard time trying to wake you up.” The mention of the past caused a smile to light up both of your faces.

“Oh, tell me about it. Those were some good days.” You chuckled at the good memories from times where everything was easier. “I thought my brother had already told you this.” Your smile started to fall.

“Jungwoo? No, he didn’t tell me anything.” Sungchan immediately shook his head, not wanting to incriminate Jungwoo for something he hadn’t done.

“I see.” You nodded, more to yourself than him. “I’ve been having nightmares ever since Chaein died.”

Sungchan's stare changed at the mention of your passed high school best friend. He wasn’t staring with pity, he was just shocked that her name had slipped out so easily from you.

“Jungwoo moved in with me to be around more and to stay in my room with me till I doze off.” You started, your eyes fixed on your fingers as you played around with your rings— you trying to ignore the fact you were saying those words out loud. “I have nightmares about her dying almost every night, that's why it's hard for me to fall asleep as easily as I used to.”

“Is that why you always come back to the dorms whenever Jungwoo is out on a mission?” Sungchan questioned, receiving your nod as a response.

“I feel safer here. Even though I still can't sleep, the environment just feels better.” You motioned around you, finally letting your eyes look back at Sungchan.

“Don't you have classes tomorrow morning? How are you gonna go through the day feeling sleepy?” He thoughtfully questioned with his worry lines showing.

“I'm used to it.” You lightly bumped your shoulders into his, trying to ease his worry.

“You know, I could sleep with you, if you want.”

He didn't realize what he said.

“What?!” You asked in a louder voice tone, inducing Sungchan's eyes to go wide open when it finally hit him how his last words had sounded.

“NO!” He rushed to deny it as it finally dawned on him how his last words had sounded. “I-I mean, not in t-that way.” He stuttered, a wave of blush crashing onto his cheeks. Sungchan felt like disappearing as your genuine laughter became the soundtrack of his inner suffering— him scolding his brain for not stopping his mouth from saying something so stupid.

It's not that he didn't want to have a chance with you, it was very much the opposite of it. Ever since middle school, Sungchan's crush on you had never changed. But when you and Jungwoo quitted high school without saying goodbye, he thought he would never see you again. And by the irony of fate, years later, you two reunited: Him, as a newbie in Neo Culture’s headquarters in Japan. You, as an experienced senior in Neo Culture's headquarters in Korea.

His feelings hadn't changed, but you two didn't exactly know each other anymore. Your lives had been shifted upside down in those years, and even though your smile still caused butterflies to appear in his stomach, he knew better than to just jump on a rush relationship before getting to know the other person.

“I'm sorry, that sounded disrespectful.” He hid his face behind his hands, making you laugh even harder at how cute that shy version of Sungchan seemed to be.

“No, it didn't. Don't worry.” You waved his worries off, laying your head on his shoulder as your stares at the dark sky filled with beautiful stars.

Sungchan didn't expect such a cute action to happen so effortlessly, for that reason, he could only silently pray that he could feel the mesmerizing smell of your perfume for a bit longer

“We've known each other for so long, but it somehow still feels like we've just met.” Your voice lowered, just as if you were telling him a secret that only the two of you were allowed to know.

He couldn't have put it in a better way. He had always been clumsy and nervous whenever you were around, but having you that close to him still felt as fresh and exciting as it felt when you were both teenagers.

“Is it weird?” Sungchan asked, still too intoxicated by the feeling of having you near him to speak anything else. “Yeah, but a good weird. It's comfortable.” You spoke softly.

“Look, I can't guarantee you that I'll be able to sleep while you're in the room, because my body just refuses to sleep in front of anyone else who isn't Jungwoo, but...” You stopped for a second, attracting Sungchan's eyes to you as you stared back at him. You both smiled. “If you're not too tired, we could catch up and eat some snacks, how does that sound?”

“If by “snacks” you mean “Doritos”, I'm down.” His smile grew bigger at the mention of the must-eat snack you would always have during your sleepovers.

“At least we still share the same favorite late snacks. That's a start.” You chuckled at how fast he had agreed to the invitation, lending a hand to help him stand up.

“A start of what?” Sungchan questioned after getting back on his feet. He couldn't contain how happy he felt, and the huge smile stretched across his face was undeniable proof.

“I don't know.” You shook your head slowly before walking up a few steps, turning back to look at him once again as if your eyes were inviting him to just jump on this, together. “Let's find out, Jung Sungchan.”

[puckinghell]

today i heard someone say "i don't wanna date, i just want my best friend to fall in love with me" and i thought it would make a really good fic!!! maybe you could write it with petey, for his birthday?

That’s a really cute idea. Just a little blurb but hopefully you like it!!

--

You love the boys, you really do, but…

“Shut up, Brock,” you hiss, slamming your beer glass down on the table with a little too much force. Some of the contents sloshes over the edge, but you know Brock is about to buy you a new one: after everything that he’s done tonight, it’s the least he can do.

“Why?” Brock asks, puppy eyes in full effect. “I’m just asking a question!”

What Brock is doing, actually, is opening a can of worms you really don’t want to get opened. You’re good at keeping your feelings close to your chest, have been good at that for ages.

You kinda had no choice. Falling in love with your best friend is dangerous stuff, especially when he’s really not interested in that at all, and you can’t be caught slipping up.

So you don’t go there, normally. But it’s obvious, really, to anyone with eyes. Brock likes to tease you that the sun shines out of your eyes whenever you look at Elias, and Troy simply raises his eyebrows in judgmental manner whenever you stare at Elias a little too long.

And unfortunately, your friends don’t have enough of a moral compass to refrain from teasing you about it.

“You’re not just asking a question,” you quote Brock sarcastically. “You’re being annoying.”

It’s always fun to go out with the boys, so whenever Elias asks you to tag along on their bar crawls, you always say yes. Somehow the topic got turned to your dating life, however, and the only reason you haven’t stabbed Brock to death with the umbrella that came in Jake’s cocktail is that Elias as last seen being beat into the ground at pool by Jacob, so he’s not here to hear about your pathetic love life – or lack thereof.

“I just think,” Brock starts, voice betraying the beginning of a monologue, “that if you’re not gonna do anything about your feelings for Petey, you have to try and get over him. And getting over someone works best when you get under someone else.” He points towards the general area of the bar. “There’s guys there! Just pick one.”

Jake snorts. “It’s not a supermarket, Boes. She can’t just pick up random guys and hope one’s good enough.”

“Exactly,” you say, thankful to have at least one person on your side. The happiness lasts for about a second, because then Jake clearly decides to betray you.

“But I don’t think it’s a bad idea to go on some dates.”

“Really, Tuna, you too?” you frown, putting as much betrayal as you can into your voice. He has the decency to at least look a little sheepish.

“Just a few dates. You don’t know what could happen.”

“I don’t wanna go on dates!” Frustration is ringing clear in your voice. “That might be fun for you, being professional athletes, rich, hot, and men, but going on dates for me means telling my friends exactly where I’m gonna be at whatever time during the night because I’m worried about getting murdered. It means having nothing to talk about and sitting through 3 hours of silence, or listening to men brag about their accomplishments while not even bothering to learn my name. Going on dates isn’t fun.”

You stubbornly cross your arms. Brock and Jake are staring at you with wide eyes, as if you’ve said something crazy; you groan.

“I don’t want to go on dates with random people, I want my best friend to fall in love with me!”

There’s a sharp intake of breath behind you. Normally you probably wouldn’t even notice it, but this one is a little too familiar to be ignored. Within a split second, you realize why Jake and Brock were staring.

Elias is standing behind you, looking at you with confused eyes. His hands are limply by his side.

Oh no.

“Oh no,” Brock says.

“Elias,” you start, but the sentence dies on your lips. What could you say? I didn’t mean it would be a lie, I can explain would lead into something you really don’t want to do.

For a second, Elias seems to be at a loss for words, which is not something that happens to your best friend a lot.

“I’m your best friend,” he says finally, and it’s like the words are sinking into his brain at the exact moment he speaks them. His eyes widen, realization settles into his features, and suddenly you can’t do this.

You can’t watch the horror take over his face, you can’t hear the pity in his voice as he tries to let you down gently. You can’t take Brock and Jake’s sorrowful look of guilt.

So you book it: you throw yourself out of the booth before anyone can say anything and all but run towards the exit of the bar, bumping into Marky on the way out.

“Y/N?” he calls after you, clearly worried, but you don’t stop.

Tears are starting to make their way to your eyes and you don’t want anyone to see that. Instead, you push the door open. Cold winter air hits you in the face and you feel it in your lungs as you inhale.

For a second, it calms you down enough that you have the mind to grab your phone and open the Uber app.

You should’ve expected Elias to follow you, but for some reason it still comes as a surprise when you hear his footsteps behind you.

It’s a little weird, maybe, that you would recognize his footsteps, that you would know it’s him before you’ve seen or heard him. But he’s so familiar that your body reacts to him even without your knowledge, muscles relaxing when he silently stands next to you.

Normally, you would lean against him, in a situation like this. This time you stare stoically ahead.

There’s chatter coming from inside the bar, but it’s quiet outside. It’s cold, but the night is clear. It’s a lovely set of juxtapositions, you suppose, like the way your heart is breaking at the hands of your favorite person; your best friend, who has done nothing wrong.

Suddenly you feel something warm, featherlight against your fingers. Elias’ hands are rough with callouses but they are gentle, and when he carefully and oh so slowly threads his fingers through yours, you don’t stop him. You don’t pull away. You should, probably, but God, you don’t want to.

If everything is going to change, you can allow yourself this memory, of getting so close to what you wanted.

“I don’t like going on dates either,” Elias says out of nowhere. His voice is soft but it cuts through the quiet night anyway.

It’s not at all what you expected him to say, and it startles a laugh out of you. When you look up, there’s a content tug to his lips, like he’s pleased to hear your laughter.

“But I like going on dates with you.”

Those words are even more unexpected and the laughter dies on your lips. Confusion takes over. “Elias, we’ve never been on a date.”

Elias hums. He takes a while to respond. “Haven’t we, though?” he asks, finally. “We’ve been to lots of restaurants, cinemas. Breakfasts, lunches, dinners. Movie nights at home. We’ve gone skating, hiking, golfing.” He grins. “Taken romantic strolls through the park.”

You snort. “Taking Brock’s dogs for a walk isn’t a romantic stroll.”

Elias’ response is quick. “But it could be.”

You don’t have a reply for that. Your heart is beating in your chest a million miles an hour; you feel like you can’t breathe, because it feels like Elias is saying something you couldn’t ever imagine hearing him say.

“Y/N.” Elias’ voice is soft, but urgent, so you focus back on him. “You’re my best friend.”

“I know.” And you do: you wouldn’t ever doubt that, you know what you mean to him.

“That’s why it’s scary. Because I don’t want to lose you if it goes wrong. But that’s also why it’s not scary at all, right? Because we’ve been doing this for a long time, we just didn’t put a name to it.” He shrugs, easily, like his words aren’t turning your whole world upside down. “But I already know I’m my happiest when I’m with you, and I know I always want to spend all of my time with you.”

Your head snaps up. When your eyes catch his, there’s nothing there but truth and honesty. Hope lights up inside your heart like a beacon of light.

“You said… You said you want your best friend to fall in love with you.” Elias smiles, small and private, but happy. “But I already did that a long time ago.”

Like a tidal wave of happiness, a smile spreads across your face. You’re about to step in, to finally kiss Elias like you’ve been wanting all that time, when a car pulls up.

“You already ordered an Uber for us?” Elias says, tone teasing and light. “Someone is eager.”

“I didn’t say you were invited,” you snap, but Elias simply laughs because in reality you both know that he’s invited.

You think for the past few years, there was never a place you went that Elias wasn’t invited to.

“I suppose I could just go,” Elias trails, and you latch onto his hands tightly, keeping them firmly in your own.

He’s not going anywhere, not if it’s up to you. And when he squeezes your hand in the back of the Uber, you’re pretty sure he’s not going anywhere if it’s up to him, either.

[blubberingmess]

Magnet fishing (Bucky x reader)

Summary: you have a hobby and that is magnet fishing, always expecting a few metal scraps and weird, random thingies but one thing you didn't expect at all is a man with a metal arm.

Word count: 1787

Note: I don't doubt a person with a single neodymium magnet disk could lift someone like Bucky out of a lake... possible but tough.(just an opinion)

*check out my masterlist for more shits :)*

You finally have a place you could call yours, a bit far out from the nearest village but it's fine, you like the serene atmosphere this small secluded place gives.

The said place you are talking about is just a small cabin, old but still livable. Plus, it's warm and still sturdy after years of abandonment. You got the cabin for less than what you've expected which is quite a steal.

When you decided to buy the place, the seller's eyes almost roll out from their sockets at how wide his eyes went. It got you confused and asked why, and the answer is kinda weird and also downright ridiculous.

An organization called "Hydra" once scouted the area for years a few decades ago, looking for something rather important. Up until now, rumors spreads around that what this Hydra organization were looking for is still out there.

No one dared to go anywhere near the location, not even the bravest of souls. it's a ghost story the adults tells the children whenever they got curious about the said place, that a monster is resting beneath the waters of the frozen lake-- exactly where the cabin is just a few meters away--, ready to attack the person who is stupid enough to trespass it's sanctuary.

"--Who is stupid enough to trespass it's sanctuary," the old man finished, eyes narrowing at you as he emphasized the word 'stupid'. You just nodded your head and thanked the man, grabbed the keys to the cabin and walked away.

It's not just the solitude from civilization that got you interested in this so called 'sanctuary of the unknown', it's becasue of the frozen lake - You're a magnet fisherman--woman--, a hobby of yours. It's illegal on some places so you don't do it quite often despite having a permit, also, you have your own business back in your hometown - winery.

Magnet fishing is a dirty work and most of the time leaves you with just metal scraps, nails, and a few rocks. But the satisfaction you felt is oh so great when you got something more valuable; some lost things and some antiques that values a hefty amount of cash.

So when you heard about the lake, the cabin; both a mile and a half away from the nearest village, you immediately packed all your things and bid your family and friends goodbye back in your hometown.

"Let's check this baby out!" You grinned, pulling out your newly bought neodymium magnet disk from your bag and a long nylon rope. Thankfully, some part of the lake is already melted so you don't have to break the ice yourself.

(Fun fact: neodymium magnet is the most widely used type of rare-earth magnets, also used as jewelry clasps. But they do not significantly attract gold, aluminium, and silver. Which I didn't know until I made this fic. *shrugs*)

It's been a good ten minutes and your magnet still haven't caught anything. Huffing in slight frustration, you hauled your magnet back from the water and changed your position to the other side of the lake.

Once again, throwing the magnet as far as you can and mentally pat yourself in back when it submerged quite far off from where you are standing.

It didn't took you long before you felt something stick to your magnet, a slight pull of the rope indicates it. As you tried to haul the magnet back up, you were shocked at the weight. It's almost unrelenting that you feared it'll slip off from the magnet and with a lake like this, there's a little chance your magnet will find it again.

"Easy, easy," you whispered to yourself, calming your nerves before giving a firm yet strong tug. It works as you felt the mystery metal goes unstuck to wherever it was. Carefully pulling the disk back to the surface with much more effort than you would've though, you finally caught a glimpse of metal - a bit rusty but still shiny looking.

Slowly, you took a step forward all while still gathering the rope and almost stumble down on the thick snow when you noticed what the metal is; a hand. It didn't stop you as you kept on pulling, to the point where the hand finally hits the snow and realized that it's not just a hand.

It's okay, you thought to yourself. It's just an arm shaped metal, must be from a statue.

But you are wrong. As you cautiously walked towards it, you catch sight of something that makes your heart jumps out from your chest and it's definitely not in a good way.

The metal arm that you thought was just from a statue is actually connected to a person; a man - a dead, frozen man

"Holy shit!"

You gulped, staring down at the frozen corpse in front of you. From his chest down still submerged in the cold, icy water. The cold air seeping through your thick clothes yet your palms are sweating as you stand there not knowing what to do, hands tightly wrapped on the nylon rope, just staring at a dead man with a metal for an arm.

This is terrifying, you need to call the police. You mentally groaned remembering that there's no signal around here, but you have your snowmobile so you could use that instead.

Contemplating if you should make a run for it and call the cops from the village or just kick the corpse back in the lake and walk away like nothing happened; maybe even book the next flight back home.

Sadly, you can't do the latter... corpse float.

The magnet is still attached to the metal arm so you gave a strong tug hoping it would separate from the corpse, but sadly, it wouldn't budge.

A small curse and another pull.

A loud curse and another stronger pull.

Frustrated, you were about to scream-- maybe even cry-- when you suddenly saw movements coming from the metal arm, precisely, the fingers. It twitched and so does his body, you grew terrified when his head slightly turned to the side, his back slowly rising and falling, breathing weakly.

"Holy... shit."

.

.

.

"Hi officer, yes, he's alive. I saw- I mean, caught the man from the lake with a magnet disk..." You groaned and shake your head, downing the rest of you wine.

You can't just mention a magnet disk, you don't know if magnet fishing is legal in this part of country - or should you say area.

Fuck me. Forgot to ask permission.

It's been four days since you hauled the man from frozen lake, changed him from his wet, heavy looking of what seems to be his tactical gear to something comfortable; an oversize shirt(on you, it is) and a baggy pair of sweatpants. Not an easy task but you managed to do it.

The man, he isn't some normal fellow you'd see anywhere. There's something more, maybe he's the "something" Hydra is looking for? Is he the ghost? Impossible, it's been decades since that happened. The organization stopped looking for him decades ago.

Who is he? Why does he have a metal arm?

Questions began running around inside your head, different kinds of possibilities that mostly lead you if not in jail; six feet under. Just the thought of it makes you want to vomit and choke on it until you pass out - maybe you could receive some kind of pity and let you off the hook.

You felt yourself slightly gag at the thought of choking on your own vomit.

"The only things I'll ever be choking on is pizza and my future husband's dick," you grumbled to yourself, glaring down at the empty glass in your hand before sighing and turning around.

You suddenly come face to face the man you called 'corspe' multiple times in your head four days ago for twenty minutes, standing strong and tall, an aura that practically screams "touch me and I'll break your neck."

He watch you watch him in fear and curiosity, body rigid and alert for what's about to happen.

What's about to happen?

.

Ten years later...

.

"And that's how I met your father," you finished the story, grinning down at the little girl in front of you.

She 'oh'ed, staring up at you with her big sea blue eyes, full of curiosity and amazement. "So he's the ghost?" She asked with her squeaky voice, grabbing the last cookie from the paper plate between the two of you and began munching on it.

You chuckled. "I would say 'a really clumsy man who fell from a flying helicopter while running away from the bad guys' but yeah, sure."

"Awesome," she whispered-yelled making you laugh at her cuteness, scooting closer towards your daughter to wipe off the crumbs from her cheek.

"So this is where my girls are hiding." A familiar voice sounded from the small entrance of the tree house. Looking over, you saw your husband climbing up the ladder.

"We're not hiding, daddy!"

"Of course you're not, princess." He sat himself beside your daughter and raised a brow at you, a smile on his face. "But your mother here is."

"I'm not hiding, daddy," you repeated your daughter's words, fluttering your eyelashes at him with a grin on your face, biting your lips to prevent yourself from laughing.

His eyes darkens but he kept the smile on his face, pretending he didn't caught the look on your face he know all too well. "Yes you are, honey. Anyways, what are you two talking about?"

"The day you first met!" Your daughter beamed.

"Really?" Buck's eyes flickered at you for a moment as he spoke.

The little girl nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yup! It's so romantic," she sighed dreamily but she frowned when she pat the paper plate and found it clear from those delicious cookies Wanda baked for her.

"Oh, the cookies are gone, can I get some more, mommy?"

"Okay, sweetie. Be careful on your way down."

The two of you watched your daughter climbs down the ladder with ease, already familiar of the steps and the safe places to put her feet on.

After a moment of silence, Bucky speaks up. "You didn't told her about me frozen under the lake for three decades, did you?"

"Nah. Told her I saved you from drowning while I'm fishing at a random lake; miraculously woken you up with a kiss."

"That sounds ridiculous."

"Also, don't worry, I didn't tell her I jumped your bones on the fifth day of knowing you."

@jasondean1972 I saw you reblogging and liking my posts while I'm editing this, and I love it 💛 don't worry, I think I'll be making my android!Bucky one-shot a series.

[kenzichi]

Summary: Riku gets an unexpected visit from Roxas. Post KH3.

Note: Totally self indulgent. Don’t mind it too much lol.

Riku pinched the bridge of his nose. His eyes were burning from lack of sleep. His appearance probably didn’t look like much either. He needed to get off the database. He took one more look at the Sora in the computer screen before he stood up and hastily removed his jacket. He threw it onto the stool and walked outside Merlin’s house.

But once he did he had no idea what he wanted to do. His eyes stung at the morning- morning? -Midday sun. There was no one walking along the streets which was usual for this time of day. Maybe Leon and the others were visiting Kairi? He needed to do that soon.

"Hey." Came an unexpected greeting followed by footsteps. He turned to see Roxas walking towards him. Wait-

"R-Roxas!" It had been months since Riku had last seen him. Since the final battle over half a year ago in fact. "What are you doing here?" Roxas had never been to Radiant Garden as far as he knew. And he had no connection with anyone here so for him to be here...

"I came to check up on you." Roxas smiled, hands in his pockets.

"Me?" Riku was taken aback. Roxas certainly didn't seem like he was the type to pay friendly visits and they weren’t friends even if they didn't hold a grudge against each other.

"Yup." Roxas replied with a smile that worried Riku for some reason. "Let's fight!"

"What?"

"You heard me." Roxas stepped closer until he was a few feet away from him.

"Why would I-?"

"You owe me a fair, finished fight. Last time you turned into that man. A cheap trick to win." Roxas glared up at him.

Riku subconsciously gripped his wrist that Roxas had injured in that very fight. Riku had thought this was all in the past. But looking at Roxas it seemed he still wasn't quite over it.

"I want to fight you for real this time." Roxas summoned his Kingdom Key without breaking eye contact. "Real ‘till the end!" He announced. Riku had no time to protest before he had to summon his own keyblade to block Roxas swinging down from straight above. The impact sent Riku sliding backwards on the stone pavement.

"Roxas!" Riku yelled angrily. What the hell? That hit would have been really bad! Is he being serious?

The impact of the hit sent a stinging aftershock through Riku’s legs straight to his ankles. He winced and fell onto one knee.

I... I know I haven't been training much, but...

Roxas scoffed, "Are you serious? Have you just been fooling around since Sora disappeared?"

"Of course not!"

"Prove it then." Roxas replied sourly. He broke into a run. "Come at me!"

Just as Roxas had reached him, Riku sprinted under Roxas’ swing as if to run, but as soon as he was right behind him he halted suddenly, spun around and swung his keyblade towards his opponent. But Roxas turned around just as fast and blocked his attack.

Roxas smiled, "Ahh, there's the Riku I remember! Give me a good fight, alright!" They pushed each other back with their blades and put some distance between themselves.

"I don't have time for this." Riku practically hissed. Not while Sora is still out there. We’re wasting time!

"You have time." Roxas retorted. "By the looks of you, this will be over real quick."

Riku narrowed his eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Roxas leaped towards Riku to close the gap between them. With both hands he swung towards Riku’s left side, but Riku blocked. Roxas swung again in the same spot, harder this time. "Exactly how it sounds!" Roxas lunged forward and slammed his shoulder into Riku’s chest, knocking him backwards. Riku stumbled wide eyed.

"What happened to the strongest kid on the islands? Keyblade Master Riku?" Before Riku could regain his balance, Roxas started an excessive chain of swings that Riku couldn’t help, but block helplessly against.

Riku felt cornered. Roxas wasn't giving him any chance to counter. All he could do was make sure Roxas didn’t run him into a dead end.

Roxas’ blows started to slow down just slightly, but enough for a seasoned fighter like Riku to notice. He’s getting tired... "Brings you back to the islands, huh? Just like old times, right?" Roxas said in between breaths.

Huh? Why would he bring up the islands?

Just as Riku thought that, Roxas took a big gasp before going in for another swing. Now! Riku quickly cast a single thunder bolt to strike between them.

Roxas jumped backwards before the attack could hit. Riku let out a heavy breath, relieved they were no longer so close.

Roxas chuckled at the exchange they just had. What’s with him? Was he making fun of him?

Riku clinched his teeth. That magic attack seemed like nothing, but it was more to get him off his back than to cause injury. And he felt like Roxas knew that too. That’s why he had that irritating smirk on his face.

Roxas lifted his keyblade into the air and cast firaga. A plethora of fireballs came flying towards them.

Riku gasped. He couldn't dodge. They were surrounded by buildings. Not to mention Merlin’s house with their only clue to finding Sora in a long time. Quickly, Riku ran in front of Merlin’s house and managed to produce a larger dark barrier than usual and deflected as many fireballs as he could back at Roxas. Without missing a beat, Riku released dark barrier and cast waterza on the fires that were quickly building up around them.

Riku let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Through the smoke he saw Roxas standing on the other side of the walk area, waiting patiently for him.

Riku steadied his breath before clinching his fists. "Are you an idiot?! People live here! Don't throw reckless magic around!"

"This is a real fight remember?" Roxas replied. "If you don't like it, stop me."

Riku had had it. He charged at Roxas so fast he was only a flash of dark energy. Roxas had no idea he had this ability. He certainly didn’t have it in The World That Never Was. Before he could react, Riku appeared before him, grabbed him by the collar, and shoved him to the ground. He knelt down on Roxas’ weapon-wielding hand, causing his grip to loosen and his keyblade to disappear. Riku slammed the end of his Braveheart into the ground next to Roxas’ head. "That's enough. Playtime is over."

“But we were just getting warmed up!" Roxas chuckled.

"Stop screwing around!" Riku yelled, clinching the boy's shirt tighter. He was straddling him and with his arm pinned down Roxas couldn’t move.

"Would you treat Sora like this too?" Riku paused. "On the islands," Roxas continued. "is this how you were when you fought with Sora?" There was no underlying playfulness to his words this time.

Why is he bringing up Sora? And the islands? No. This was nothing like that. Even when Riku was mad he still enjoyed his sword fights with Sora. Even when he was clouded by jealousy; he just wanted to be close to him. But right now Roxas was just pissing him off. "Why do you keep bringing weird things up?" Riku demanded.

With his free hand, Roxas gripped the fists that were holding him by the collar. "Kiss me."

Riku froze.

"You miss Sora don't you? It’s obvious to everyone. And sad, really. Even I’m starting to pity you."

"What are you saying?" What does he mean ‘everyone’? "You don't know anything." I'm fine. I'm the same as usual. Did someone put him up to this?

"So much so that you shut yourself away from everyone for 2 months."

But... I haven’t. Right? I’ve done plenty these past few months... Riku quickly thought back to his current day to day life. He would wake up, check the database, eat (maybe), run scans on the database, check on Kairi at the castle, train for an hour... maybe less, go back to check the database...

"We know about the computer in there. You unlocked everything you could on that thing and there are still no answers. So why are you still always on it?"

Riku looked away. "There could still be a clue." He answered quietly. He did truly believe that, but he also couldn’t deny just seeing Sora’s image on the screen comforted him. "Anyway, it doesn’t concern you. You do things your way on your end and I’ll do the same-"

Roxas sat up on his elbow, "It does concern me! Sora wouldn't want you to spend your days staring at a computer!"

"I'm fine. I don't need your twisted help." Riku let go of Roxas' collar and started to stand, but Roxas kept his grip on Riku’s wrists, keeping him close.

"But I look like him don't I? Remind you of him?" He pulled Riku so close their bodies were touching. Riku could feel Roxas’ body heat through their sweaty clothes. He felt a knot form in his throat. "I don't think Sora would mind. Not if it was to help you."

"Stop." Riku lowered his head. Despite them being so different, Roxas was still Sora’s nobody and they almost looked exactly the same. Their builds were strikingly similar. Not to mention their eyes. Riku squeezed his eyes shut, ashamed they were even having this conversation. Ashamed he was actually feeling something. Did everyone feel this much pity towards him? Was he really that miserable looking?

Roxas grabbed Riku’s shirt, and pulled him closer. "Look at me." He said as softly as he could. Eventually, Riku did. He saw Riku’s eyes for the first time that day. Tired and sad. Eyes that hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks. "I know you want to. So kiss me."

Of course he wanted to! Or rather, of course he wanted to, with Sora! To touch him and kiss him. Somehow, now that he knew his true feelings for Sora, it only made it harder for Riku to be away from him.

"Kiss me like you would Sora." Roxas ran a hand through Riku’s hair, "Touch me like you would Sora." He wrapped his arms around Riku’s neck, "He wouldn’t want you to suffer like this anymore."

He wouldn’t, huh?

Every night he’d dream of a city with towering buildings. Shining signs and bustling roads. And every day he’d imagine Sora next to him, talking to him, like a curse.

Every day, since having those dreams of the city, Sora would lean into him when they talked. Lay a gentle hand on his shoulder whenever he laughed. He’d smile up at him and say his name. He’d pout when he lost at a game of Rock Paper Scissors to decide who got to take a bath first. But then Riku would be forgiven when he let Sora have the last piece of meat for dinner.

When Riku was settling in for the night it was only a matter of minutes before Sora came to his room. Sora would lay down onto his bed before he even had the chance to. Riku would caress Sora’s spiky brown hair he loved so much.

And Sora would laugh.

He’d wrap his arms around Riku’s waist and nuzzle close to him. They would talk about their day of training even though they had just spent the whole day training, together. Sora would fall asleep telling his stories and only then would Riku kiss him good night because that was the only time he was brave enough to do it. But Sora wouldn’t be asleep. And he’d demand Riku kiss him again. And again and again. And each kiss would be less nerve wrecking than the last. Riku would fall asleep feeling Sora’s warm skin and soft lips. And his slim frame that fit so perfectly against his muscular one. And he would wake up the next day and realize it was all a dream, or an illusion, or whatever the hell it was.

And it would start all over again.

So when Riku actually felt a warm (real), gentle hand run through his hair... Soft, slender fingers against his neck, he was so tempted. Oh so tempted. And for a flicker of a second he did see Sora’s face in Roxas. Riku gently let his fingertips brush away the strands of blond bangs on Roxas’ forehead. He wanted to imagine they were Sora’s messy brown ones. Imagine his flushed cheeks were Sora’s, bright and pink. His eyes were the exact same blue as Sora’s it almost scared him. Riku clinched his fist on the pavement.

But Roxas was not Sora no matter how much they looked alike.

"No." Riku finally replied. "You’re not a replacement for Sora. And you know that better than anyone. Sora... He told you that." Riku said, eyebrows furrowed.

Roxas stared at him for a bit before closing his eyes, sighing. "He did... didn’t he..." His grip around Riku’s neck loosened, but he didn’t completely let him go.

"You and Sora. Even if I tried... I could never mistake you. You, who’s so quick to anger." He smiled genuinely, the hand playing in Roxas’ hair now on his cheek. "You, Roxas, with the sharp tongue and the presence so strong an enemy would shutter as soon as you entered the area." Roxas’ eyes widened. "Whereas-"

"Whereas, Sora," Roxas continued, "is the one who would brighten up any room as soon as he entered it." He smiled small. "And Sora, who could never say a bad thing about anyone no matter how much they deserved it."

Riku nodded, “Yeah.”

Roxas felt so stupid, but relieved. Roxas stiffened under Riku, suddenly feeling self conscious at their positions. He let his hands fall from Riku’s shoulders to his chest. "Yeah..." He whispered.

......................

"If we had gone through with it, would you have hated it?" Roxas looked up from the half empty glass of water in his hands. He hadn't realized he had zoned out. The little lamp on Merlin's table stung his eyes. Had he dozed off? The tall, red chair at Merlin’s table was cozier than it looked.

Roxas looked across the room. Riku was on that damn computer again, staring intently at the screen. "Sorry... What did you say?" Roxas asked.

Riku let out a long sigh, "Nothing. Forget I said anything."

Roxas groggily looked back down at his hands. The hands he used to touch Riku. The hand he used to caress Riku’s hair.

Back when he had dreams about Sora, Roxas recalled Sora always looking at Riku. He always admired his height, his strength, and his long, silver hair. The silver hair Sora secretly longed to touch...

Roxas closed his eyes.

I’m sorry, Sora.

If they had gone further, would he have liked it? His feelings for Riku, Sora’s feelings for Riku, weld up in his stomach. Even though I’m not Sora... Sora’s memories, Sora’s feelings for Riku were still imbedded in his heart. So had Riku desired it, he would have kept going.

Roxas’ chest tightened.

He was a terrible person.

"I know you want to. So kiss me... Like you would Sora." Roxas ran a hand through Riku’s hair, "Touch me like you would Sora."

Riku clinched his teeth before leaning in and kissing the blond on the lips. And Roxas parted his lips instantly, welcoming Riku’s touch.

[misstinfoilhat]

Saw your prompt list and thought I'd drop a suggestion: Kakashi with "don't let them see me cry" - especially if it involves young team 7

I merged this with @selspeaks :  Kakashi: Don't let them see you cry. Bonus points if Guy is in there somewhere annoying him

I tried my best to incorporate both of these!

Oh lord. I don’t even know what this story is. This went from angst to angstier, angstiest to dark af, to fluff, fluffier, fluffy mcfluffypants to what-the-fluff-even?

I don’t know. I hope you all like it though!

--

With a sharp intake of air, Kakashi shot up and leaped out of bed. The bedsheet caught on his feet and he tumbled, darted back up, and shot for the bathroom where he swiftly tugged his mask down and heaved alcoholic liquid into the bowl. Shaky hands grasped at the toilet firmly.

For two days, Kakashi had been unable to leave his apartment. In those 48 hours, less than four of them had been spent sleeping. The other 44, was tossing and turning, trying to relax his body and clear his mind, or, spent drinking an ungodly amount of sake, in the hopes of eventually pass out and catch a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

But nothing seemed to work.

When he felt himself being done extracting the meager contents of his stomach out, he flushed and closed the lid, but paused for a moment to inspect his hands.

His fingers were soft, long, delicate. Clean, unmarred, and milky. Not at all like a shinobi's. It was because Kakashi always wore gloves. He hated the appearance of those hands. They were hands that hurt people. That killed. Hands covered in blood. 

Rin's blood.

Whenever he remembered that day, his hands would be covered in blood all over again. First, in short flashes. Coming and going in the blink of an eye.

Then, it didn't disappear. No matter how many times he'd blink at them.

That was when the washing started. Hours upon hours of scrubbing his hands raw. The blood never went away, and the more he scrubbed, the more it would bleed until he realized that it was his own blood that covered his hands and not Rin's.

This had been an occurring problem since that day, and it had only become worse once Minato, his last lifeline, had died.

Somewhere insides Kakashi's musings, there were knocks on his door.

Suddenly, it was like he woke back up. As if he had just now become aware of his surroundings. But, he knew he hadn't slept. 

Confused, he stared down at the sink, the sponge he'd used, and his irritated skin. It had happened again.

The knocks on his door became more rapid, and a voice far, far away was yelling his name and Kakashi knew he should answer and knew he needed to stop cleaning his hands.

But he simply couldn't. Not before all his dirty skin had been peeled off. Not until it bled. It wasn't clean enough until there was nothing left at all!

Another voice joined in, yelling his name. The knocks were harder; like hail on your window during a storm. The voices pulled at Kakashi and he wished he could answer them, follow them instead, but he was sure that if he didn't get the blood away, these hands would hurt everything he loved. Everything that was left.

And, logically, he knew that he was the one controlling them. He knew they wouldn't go off on their own and hurt or kill anyone he didn't want them to kill.

But, what if?

What if the constant reminder of what he had done to Rin, how he failed to protect her, or save Obito and how he hadn't been enough to keep his father from committing suicide, would drive him mad?

Kakashi absently realized that the knocking had stopped, and the voices calling out for him had stilled. For some reason, he felt a bit sad about it. Like the intrusive yelling was something comforting and nice, not noisy and disruptive. It reminded him of something or someone. 

Its absence left him in silence. A loud, strangling, ear-piercing silence accompanied only by the running tap and the scratching noise emitted between the cloth and his palms.

Why wasn't it going away?

The rubbing intensified. The motion was becoming stronger and more forceful, almost static, and it stung which was good because that meant that he was close to...

Close to what exactly?

Kakashi realized he was panting. Reality came back to him like a droplet falling from the sky. Cold, unavoidable, grey. Blinking, he gazed down at his sore, scratched-up hands. The one holding the rough sponge opened, letting the yellow foam fall into the sink. Reluctantly, he lifted his gaze up and peered into the mirror, where he met a horrid sight.

His face was unmasked in a twisted grimace. The long, angry scar he got the same day Obito died glowed as if it was laughing at him. Red, puffy, glazed eyes and charcoal orbs glistened dangerously.

And the sounds. The sounds had been his students, coming to look for him. They had to be worried about their sensei, now that he hadn't bothered showing up to practice in several days. It must have taken them a long time finding his apartment, and he had ignored them to indulge in whatever-the-fuck he had just done, the selfish jerk he was.

He stared intently at his reflection. The blood-shot eyes that met his glare were pitiful and made him furious. How long had he been standing here? 

«Stop crying, you fool,» he sneered lowly, trying to keep the trembling in his chest away from his voice. His eyes squinted shut, chasing away unshed tears.

«I said...» A deep breath. «Stop... fucking crying-»

Someone kicked his door in as Kakashi's fists hit the mirror, shattering it into a million little pieces, dancing around him like flickering snowflakes.

«Kakashi!» an alarmed voice roared from the livingroom. Heavy footsteps moved quickly across the floor.

Kakashi hit the wall where the mirror had been, slicing his knuckles on the sharp left-over pieces and couldn't hold back his winch.

He was pathetic. Pathetic, sad, weak, and a horrible human being. He didn't deserve to live. Why did he get to live when Rin and Obito didn’t?

Two strong hands grabbed a tight hold on his shoulders and pulled him back. Kakashi whirled around, trying to tear away.

«Kakashi?» The voice was deep, Kakashi recognized it but couldn't focus. Feeble, bloodied fingers tried to pry off the larger, tan, callused ones that held him still, and Kakashi was unable to keep himself from thinking that they looked clean and felt an instant need to wash his hands again.

«Kakashi!» 

He had made the voice angry. It sounder wrong like that and he knew he had fucked up, just like he always did and it probably wouldn't have happened if he had cleaned his hands---

«S-so much blood,» he mused in a whisper.

His head shot back.

For a moment, he sat there dumbly, unable to take in what had just happened. He rose a strangely painful hand to feel his heated, burning cheek but paused when he noticed the newly ripped flesh scattered across his scarred hands.

Turning them, observing all the healed crisscrossed marks and raw skin curiously, he wondered where the soft, unmarred hands from earlier had gone.

He felt the comforting touch on his shoulder return. Dark eyes looked up to meet two concerned beady eyes under a set of furiously bushy eyebrows.

«Gai? What...» Kakashi muttered perplexed but interrupted himself as he took in his surroundings. The shattered glass on the floor, the mess of soap and water, the bloodied streaks all across the bathroom. «It happened again.»

A sad smile tugged at Gai's lips and he nodded. “Yeah.”

«Oh, God,» Kakashi groaned agonizingly, curling in on himself and shrugging Gai's arm off.

«Shit!» The tears were back, and he struggled to contain them. He refused to let them fall. He couldn't let Gai see him cr---

«...kashi-sensei?»

The surprise of hearing that voice made him straighten his back, instinctively pulling up his mask before looking towards where the sound was coming from, where three heads appeared, lingering warily by the door.

«Were you attacked?» Naruto bellowed loudly as he noticed the state of the bathroom, looking over his shoulder for a possible intruder. His throwing arm itched eagerly by his side pouch.

«I guess you could say that,» Kakashi muttered to no one in particular.

«Don't worry, sensei! I'll get them!»

Naruto bounced off, but Sakura grabbed his jacket and held him back, shaking her head disapprovingly.

«Stop that, stupid.»

For a short while, there was silence once more. It was probably not more than a few seconds, but it ached like days, so Kakashi cleared his throat.

«I-I guess this looks a bit strange,» he drawled slowly and rubbed his neck, smearing the blood through his unruly silvery mane.

«Yes,» Sasuke answered immediately, folding his arms across his chest. The kid always looked suspicious, a bit like he always smelled a fart, which Kakashi bemusedly had thought once during training and proceeded to giggle himself silly as the preteens stared at him incomprehensively.

A bit like now.

They wanted an answer, he knew. Sympathized with it, even. But he had no idea how to give them one.

«I-» he started hesitantly, «I'm not sure how to explain this. And, I'm guessing that none of you would believe me if I came up with some silly story anyway. But I just...»

Again, that tight hold around his heart appeared. The heavy, painful, strangulating feeling of not being able to breathe. The same one he had years after his father passed and an even longer time after Obito and Rin died. It hurt more than a punch in the gut.

«Kakashi-sensei, are you...» Sakura asked just as Gai gently ushered them outside. 

Kakashi wiped the streaming tears off his cheek with his sleeve when Gai returned. Kakashi didn't know what he said to them, but when he came back, it was without the kids.

«I am so sorry, Kakashi. I had no idea that this is what was happening. I should have asked them to stay at the training grounds while I went to check on you by myself.»

Kakashi, still seated on the floor with his knees pushed up to his chest, hiding his watering eyes with his hand, chuckled.

«No. You'd have to tie them up to prevent them from doing whatever they want to do anyway. And unless it's for the genin exams, I'm pretty sure you would be breaking some sort of code if you did that.»

«Actually, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to tie a student down during the genin exams either,» Gai muttered perplexed. Kakashi simply stared back.

«Huh.»

Despite himself, Gai hummed a small laugh as he started rummaging through Kakashi's well-stocked medicine cabinet, pulling out disinfectants, gauze, and rolls of bandages.

«Let me see your hands,» Gai required softly, and Kakashi obeyed reluctantly, letting his right hand fall limply into Gai's giant palm.

«Several of these will require stitches,» Gai murmured patiently as he cleaned Kakashi's wounds.

«Maa, I'll do it later,» Kakashi waved him off while Gai rolled his eyes.

«No, you're not doing anything. I will take you to the doctor so it can be done properly. Not that half-assed quick-fix stuff you did in ANBU.»

Kakashi didn't dignify that with an answer. His half-assed quick-fix stuff had saved many lives, his own and Gai's included! Was everyone grateful? Yes! Were the wounds all horribly infected and disfigured after? Well, that wasn’t relevant!

«I really think you should see a doctor, dear rival,» Gai said with the slightest hint of his trademark energetic personality back.

«Jeez, fine. I'll go,» Kakashi sighed, but held his breath when he noticed how sad Gai seemed. Apparently, the energy that he had centered into his voice hadn't quite reached his eyes yet.

«Not for that. Well, that too. But for this,» Gai lifted Kakashi's hand up for a moment, indicating towards the wounds.

«I don't usually self-harm, Gai.»

«I know, that's not what I meant either. That OCD stuff that always happens after a bad mission. And those panic attacks- whatever it is- that you're experiencing. It's no good. You can't live like that. I worry that someday you're gonna...» Gai stopped himself from finishing that sentence.

Kakashi looked away in shame.

«Do like my father,» Kakashi whispered. «I know.»

Gai started bandaging up the right hand and silently asked for the left one once it was done. Kakashi didn't say anything as he offered it, placing it gently into the welcoming palm. They didn't talk while Gai kept working, and Kakashi's mind was running.

He could hardly remember what had happened. Was that how Sakumo had felt before he stabbed himself? Had he too gone into some strange psychosis and let his own self-hatred be in control? Was that what Kakashi was doing? He knew he wasn't in control, at least, he didn't think he was. And Kakashi truly didn't want to die by his own hands, let alone imagine what something like that would do to his students.

They had lost people in their lives too.

«I'll go to the doctor,» Kakashi croaked finally, watching Gai's expressive brows rise and curve excitedly, like an expressive labrador.

«Really?»

«Yes.»

«So I won't have to drag you there against your will?»

«What makes you think you even could-»

«Thank you!»

Gai threw himself at Kakashi, cotton balls with antiseptic flying and the bottle tilting, spilling half the fluid out. Strong arms wrapped around Kakashi's shoulders and pulled him into a tight bearhug, nearly knocking the breath out of him.

«I told you you didn't have to restraint and force me there,» Kakashi hummed in a mix of discomfort and relief before pulling away. Unwillingly, Gai let go and wiped a tear away from the creak of his eye. 

Rustling from outside brought their attention away for a moment, before Gai hurried to wrap up Kakashi's other hand so they could check what the fuzz was about.

«Ngh, gah! Naruto! Your elbow is in my face!»

«Your shoulders muffled my ear! I couldn't hear anything!»

«That wasn't because of my shoulder, but from all the cotton you have for brains!»

«Will you two shut up? I'm trying to hear what they're talking abo- Ah!»

Gai dragged the door open, successfully making three noisy kids leaning towards it tumble onto the floor, laying there in a dazed heap for a moment before jolting back up.

«Kakashi-sensei? Are you okay now?» Naruto cried boastfully, jumping over to help Kakashi up from the floor. Kakashi ignored the gesture and pulled himself up, noting that he felt a slight hangover.

Good, he thought. At least I've sobered up.

«Better,» Kakashi replied truthfully, noticing how Sakura was eyeing his hands timidly. «I'm sorry for worrying you. That wasn't my intention.»

He smiled softly at her, and she seemed to perk up at that, so he decided to rest his hand on her head for a moment, just to see what it was like.

Two brightly pink cheeks beamed up at him, and in an instant, she was entangled around his torso, hugging him tight enough to rival Gai. Before Kakashi had even realized what was going on, Naruto had joined in, pressing himself to his other side while chubby, sunkissed hands grabbed at the fabric of Kakashi’s black shirt.

Sasuke stood ambivalent with his arms crossed, observing the ordeal with little to no interest, while Gai bawled his eyes out, leaping a few steps forward, ready to join in.

«Don't you dare,» Kakashi glared dangerously, and Gai turned in his step and switched his focus on Sasuke, deciding that no one should ever be left unhugged, and trapped the boy in a huge, forceful embrace, seemingly untouched by the violent death threats and obscenities spilling out of the boy. 

As much as Kakashi was touch-avert and uncomfortable by affection, he recognized this as an important moment. Not only for him but for his students (it might not be for Sasuke; this particular moment, but in the long run, maybe) too. 

Kakashi wouldn’t tell them the gritty details. They were unimportant, but mostly, he truly didn’t want to. But he realized one, really important thing. 

What had made Minao a great teacher, was his heart. And a heart contained more than just strength. It also held love and hurt. Vulnerability.

Kakashi knew he wouldn’t change overnight. Maybe not ever. 

But if this was even one step closer to being the man Minato would want as his son’s mentor, half the man Minato was, then, Kakashi would do whatever it took to become that man.

---

End

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

Pokémon Retold: Hidden Grottos - Something More

Hil wrestles with guilt over what Reshiram did to one of the Shadow Triad. Also lots of Hil/N fluff. I’m not sorry.

-------------

Timeline: ~10 months after Black 2

Setting: Unova

Notes: Fluff. All the fluff. I'm really not sorry. Though there is some minor blood mention (mostly through recollections of the battle aboard the Frigate from Black 2). Also, I realized like 4k words in that uh, it didn't make a lot of sense for neither of them to have their pokémon out, since Hil likes to let his team out while he sleeps and N kinda isn't a huge fan of Poké Balls, but… I really don't wanna potentially ruin the flow by going in and adding little addendums about their pokémon here and there. So just imagine Noodle is in there somewhere and N's Zoroark is probably out of its Poké Ball too lol. It's fluff, dangit, I'm sorry! Lol I started writing this at 12am and could not stop (it's currently 4am. Aaaaa)

Characters: Hilbert (Hil), N, Reshiram

Prerequisite Reading: Black, Black 2

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The scent of blood was heavy on the air and the breeze lashed his face, bitterly cold to the point it felt like daggers digging into his skin, and strong enough to blow him away. Hil gritted his teeth and dug his shoes into the wooden deck below him, but when he looked up, all he could see was the battered, broken Plasma Frigate ahead of him, Reshiram divebombing it again and again with Fusion Flares. Yet, there was nobody else aboard the crumbling ship… Feeling like something sticky was covering his hands, Hil flicked his wrists and then gasped at the red fluid that was slung to the deck. Shakily turning over his palms to look at them, he blanched at the thick, scarlet coating over his hands. Then, Reshiram landed in front of him, and a powerful gust of wind knocked him to his stomach.

Immediately, the biting cold was gone and the pain from hitting the ground seemed much more real. Groaning, he leaned up and blinked fervently as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the hotel room, discovering he was laying against the tiled floor and cocooned in thrashed blankets. He dazedly tried to unravel himself, turning over, but jumped when N scrambled over to him. In his grogginess from having woken up so suddenly, he had almost forgotten N was even there… He gave N an apologetic, almost nervous smile for that, even though he knew it wasn't like N could have known.

"Hil, are you alright?" N asked fretfully as he cautiously leaned over to help him out of the blankets. "What happened…?"

"Yeah, sorry," Hil mumbled as he grasped N's hand, leaning on him as he unfolded his legs to stand up. He winced at N's second question. Sighing, he pondered what to say. The truth? He knew what the nightmare had been about.

Every now and then, he'd have some variation of the same setup. He would be aboard the Plasma Frigate, alone, with Reshiram somehow involved. Sometimes, she would fiercely roar in his face and that would wake him up; sometimes, she'd land in front of him with a person's broken body in her jaws. The nightmares were always gory and unpleasant, and somehow, he would always wake up knowing exactly what they were getting at… Though, he supposed that wasn't so strange. Even in his waking hours, he'd sometimes think back to the Shadow Triad member that had informed him the Plasma Frigate had been a decoy, and how Reshiram had callously then dispatched him.

In the wake of the events aboard the Frigate, cleanup efforts resulted in bodies getting recovered from the ship. Among them had been that Shadow Triad member (the other two, along with Dr. Colress and Rosa, had never been found despite their best efforts in searching over Unova). If he were honest, it disturbed Hil on a haunting level that man had been killed while trying to assist him, not to mention how part of him was convinced the Shadow Triad didn't mean any harm to begin with and were somehow victims as well in all of it. After all, despite telling him that they couldn't let him kill Ghetsis, they had reassured him that Ghetsis wouldn't survive their encounter, nonetheless (though they had yet to locate his body, and Hil doubted they ever would). Every time he thought of that chilling, final encounter with the remaining brothers, a tremor of guilt would crawl up his spine. While one of them had lain dead and mangled aboard the Frigate, his brothers had assisted Hil one, final time, coyly finding a loophole in Ghetsis' control… Had they even known…? If they did, would they have even had the capacity to care?

Regardless, he had wanted to talk to Reshiram, to understand why she had chosen to murder that one so coldly, but frustratingly enough, he had found it impossible to communicate with her following that fateful battle in the Giant Chasm. She didn't seem upset with him and could stay out of her Light Stone form for as long as she pleased nowadays, but he just couldn't… talk to her like he had during their battle with Ghetsis and Kyurem. It was absolutely maddening! Part of him thought N could have helped him, but…

How could he have expressed all of that to N? N, who had been held captive by the Shadow Triad as well as Ghetsis to the point that he grew restless and upset staying in one place too long? In fact, they were currently staying at a hotel in Hoenn, quite the distance from Unova, because of N's need for new sights and smells. They had a few more days slated out before they would return to Unova to complete the tasks that had surely been piling up for them. It was a tense routine they had started to fall into following Hil's realization that N had felt trapped at the Pokémon League. That he hadn't even realized he was allowed to leave it.

"Hil?" N pressed softly when Hil didn't answer, wrenching him from his stupor. "What's wrong…?"

Hil sucked in a fast breath and sat down on the (now blanketless) bed behind him. No, he couldn't talk to N about that. N had been through so much more than he possibly could have ever hoped to understand, and what if he were hurt by Hil showing pity for his previous captors? "Sorry," he mumbled, "It was nothing. Just a dumb nightmare. Didn't make any sense." That sounded pathetic even to me. I can see Reshiram rolling her eyes at me now for how see-through that lie was.

Shuffling away, N crossed his arms, and an awkward silence started to build. Hil's heart pounded more and more as it stretched on, until he snatched the blankets from the floor and tossed them back on his twin bed. He didn't bother rearranging them, but he just wanted something, anything to break this miserable silence, something to send N away so he could go back to—

"You've been having a lot of nightmares," N interrupted his thoughts. Freezing briefly, Hil then licked his suddenly clammy lips and locked his stare on N. He still wore that off-white bandage around his head, hiding his missing eye from sight, but Hil had learned to read his expressions expertly in the time they had spent together since then. Right then, N had a sour, almost cagy, expression, one that radiated… disappointment? Hil didn't know what to make of that. All he knew was that he wanted N to go back to bed, so he could go back to bed, and forget all about this awkward conversation, wherever it was headed. He tensed slightly as N kept speaking. "I may have just one eye now, but I am not blind to how you clearly do not want to talk to me about this, whatever it is… I don't blame you for having nightmares. There are countless experiences I know you've been through that could cause them." N shifted his weight from side to side and his hands slowly dropped to his sides. "But… I don't understand why you don't want to talk to me about them… You have told me so much. I have told you so much… You have helped me whenever I have fought with nightmares. Especially if I ever woke in a fashion much like you just did. So… why do you not want to tell me?"

Feeling like a Deerling in headlights at N's blunt, yet respectful questioning, Hil's mouth fell open but no words came out. He didn't know what to say to that… "It's just… nothing I want to worry you about," he responded lamely at last, feeling his stomach twist into anxious knots. No longer able to meet N's single eye, Hil looked at his fidgeting hands and then pulled his feet to the bed, intending to curl back up and tell N he was tired. Just as he went to open his mouth to say so, however, N cut him off.

"I have spent a lot of my life with others deciding what I was allowed to know or not. Do you intend to do that as well?" he asked matter-of-factly, with the mildest inflection of annoyance. When Hil looked up at him this time, the corner of N's lips twitched with a hint of well-restrained frustration, and then he moved to sit down on the bed next to Hil. His movements were stiff and almost… cautious. Almost instinctively, Hil maneuvered so that he was sitting upright on the edge of the bed again, maintaining that distance between himself and N. Although N hadn't been able to explain to him exactly why, Hil knew that the other could be finicky about close contact with people. Sometimes, he found it comforting, and would welcome hugs or at least tolerate being near others, while there were other times where N would bristle at contact and would, quite vocally, ask to not be touched. Over time, Hil had learned to pick up on the subtle differences in N's movements to know when was or wasn't a good time to approach him—and now was definitely not one of those times, based on the tension in his form and the way he was averting his gaze.

Not that Hil could blame him. Shame made his cheeks burn red as he heard N's question, and his hands immediately fidgeted more, starting to shake slightly. Damn his anxiety. "N… no," Hil weakly mumbled through uncooperative lips. "I don't… I'm not trying to… trick you, or anything…"

"Yet, you were lying to me… were you not?"

Exasperated, Hil groaned and hung his head. "When you put it like that, it sounds so much worse than what it is!"

N sounded a little more frustrated then. "So, what is it, then? If it's not that bad, why is it such a secret?"

"People are allowed to not tell others things sometimes, N," Hil defensively retorted before he stopped to think. Almost right away, he cringed at the snappiness in his tone. Also since he and N had become the Consuls of Unova, he had come to understand that N had a very direct way of communicating. He didn't understand nuances or social cues that well, and the concepts of insinuations or passive-aggression were lost on him. So, he knew that N couldn't have possibly meant to suggest he didn't deserve privacy, and most likely wouldn't have understood his snippy reply in the slightest. Turning a worried look to N, he was proven correct by how the other looked utterly stunned.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Hil blubbered in a panic, covering his face. "Look… I'm… I'm sorry. It was a nightmare about the Plasma Frigate. You know how I said Reshiram… Reshiram killed one of the Shadow Triad in front of me? Every now and then, I just… I just feel so bad about it. I feel so bad for him, and for his two brothers, and I know that's stupid because they helped keep you a prisoner in that madhouse of Ghetsis', and that's why I didn't want to talk about it, because you don't need to feel pity for people who helped abuse you, and—"

"Hil," N interjected gently, finally bringing Hil's anxious run-on sentence to an end. With something Hil swore was a twinge of amusement, N asked, "Is that really it?"

Daring to move his fingers to cautiously eye the other through the gaps between them, Hil swallowed hard. "Um… yeah, that's… that's pretty much it…"

Giving a relieved sigh, the tension in N's form left with the very air he exhaled. "I really thought it would be something so much worse," he chuckled lightly. Shaking his head, making his messy, green hair fan out over his shoulders, he turned a sad smile on Hil. "Hil, I don't hold anything against the Shadow Triad… They were just as used as I was." His smile dissipated as he curled his lips slightly in disgust. "Even when I was little… I knew that something was… incorrect with them. Even with the limited group of people I was allowed around, I could tell they didn't behave like others… For a while, I'll admit, that made me like them a lot. I felt like they might understand me, because I didn't feel like I fit in with other humans well, either. Of course, I learned that they didn't get me, and that they really didn't understand much of anything and were just obedient, but… I really liked them when I was little." N almost wistfully tilted his head and closed his eyes. "Ghetsis… did not name them… I thought that was really sad when I was young. All humans in the stories I had read or that I had met had names, so I thought it was only fitting they should have one, too." He laughed. "I asked them what they would like to be called."

Relaxing at N's unexpectedly sympathetic reaction, Hil lowered his hands from his face and scooted closer to the other. Still trembling thanks to the close call with a panic attack a moment ago, he tenderly quavered, "So… What did they say?"

"That they didn't understand," N snickered. Taking a deep breath, he added, "I tried to explain a few times, but they still didn't get it. Like the entirely uncreative person I am, I dubbed them Quiet, Whisper, and Loud…" There was a short pause. "I never called them that around anyone else, though, and quit calling them it altogether once I was older… By the time I was finally allowed out of… there… I'm sad to admit that I saw them as… Ghetsis wanted me to… Tools to serve Team Plasma's purpose. I didn't mean to view them that way…" He shook his head vigorously and then pulled himself farther onto the bed, daring to move a hand forward to clasp it over one of Hil's against the mattress, making Hil freeze and his breath hitch. "I am not upset with you for feeling bad about what happened to Whisper, Hil…"

Genuinely smiling back at him, Hil felt emotion rising in his throat some. Biting his lower lip to try to fight it off, he nodded. "Thank you…" Even though that's not it… Hil wanted to banish that thought so badly. He didn't want to get into the messiness of how he felt frustrated about failing to communicate with Reshiram. This bittersweet, reminiscent discussion was something he wanted to cling to, maybe steer the conversation into another exchange of their radically different childhoods, laughing and grinning about the good times (however few there were) and wincing and comforting one another over the bad times. Yet, his mouth felt like lead as N's earlier words rang in his head, reminding him he wasn't being honest.

"You can tell me stuff, too, you know," N whispered, as if guessing what Hil was thinking. He squeezed Hil's hand slightly. Face still a little red, Hil slowly turned his hand over and clasped his (admittedly somewhat sweaty) palm to N's hand, intertwining his fingers with N's. "I know you have, ah… helped and saved me often in the past," N started gingerly, "but Hil, when I apologized for you having to save me again… I think I perhaps conveyed myself poorly."

Blinking confusedly, Hil cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean…?" Although Hil could tell this was important for N to talk about, he had to admit, remembering the way N had apologized to him after he had dealt with Ghetsis back in the Giant Chasm was heartbreaking. It had pained him so deeply, for N to be there, bleeding out, and still apologizing to him… Just the memory made Hil's jaw clench and it took everything in his power to keep from tightening his grasp on N's hand. Nobody had a way of bringing out that furious, almost feverish desire to protect in him quite like N could.

"I was not feeling bad for myself," N explained. "At least, I don't think so… I was sorry because I had not been as strong as I could be… You have such a way of catching me in my moments of weakness," he snorted, "that I think you have mistaken me for someone far weaker and frailer."

"What? No, not at all," Hil defended himself a little too quickly, and a little too squeakily. N's smile vanished and he gave Hil such a pointed look with that single, gray eye. Shrinking under just that look, Hil squirmed, laughing halfheartedly. "Right… sorry, go on…"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," N sighed. "Hil, I'm not going to shatter to pieces if you talk to me more. I don't need safeguarding. I'm not a prince locked in a tower anymore. Ghetsis is gone. We lead Unova together. First and foremost, many people rely on us now… And I fear what may become of those that rely on you… or care for you"—N flicked his gaze to the side—"if you refuse to talk to me… or, er, anyone, about what is upsetting or bothering you…"

For as reserved as his words sounded and as subtle as his body language was, Hil caught on immediately to the way N was subversively admitting to caring about him, to worrying about him. In one swift moment, all Hil's anxiety was traded in for a rush of warmth that made the almost goofy, happy smile on his face grow even broader. Not to mention, the very sentiment in his words might have made him melt all on their own. Together. They led Unova together… and Hil had apparently made N feel excluded and worried by keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself. As quickly as the gust of warmth had come, it started to ebb, and he gnawed his lower lip again, dropping his gaze to the bed. "I'm sorry, N," Hil murmured, "I never meant to treat you like… like…" Oh, Arceus, how could he have explained? It was N. Hil didn't know what it was about him, but the idea of hurting N or of him being in harm's way made him want to coil around the other like a protective mother Beartic. He had seen N undergo so much, and he had so nearly lost him once before… it was so hard not to inadvertently treat him like a glass statue… Emotion choking his words somewhat, Hil whimpered, "I just… I want to keep you safe…"

"I am safe," N said simply, tugging on Hil's hand a little. "I am safe with you. You have made it clear time and time again that I am safe with you, that you do not intend to harm me… but, Hil?"

"Yeah…?"

Almost reluctantly, N said, "I… want to help you, too. I want to keep you safe, too… And you bottling yourself up and never really coming to me with stuff to talk about… I dislike that more than if you would simply talk about it… Even if some of it maybe is uncomfortable…" Breaking the tension with a slight laugh, he raised his visible brow at Hil. "Am I making any sense…?"

He was making perfect sense, and as guilty as Hil felt for making N feel like he was being coddled, his heart was swimming on fuzzy feelings that honestly made it difficult to consider the guilt or anxiety anymore. Again, he recognized the situation as a potentially romantic one, and yet again, calling it that would have felt insulting. Perhaps it was the fact that N still didn't have a fantastic grasp of what a romantic relationship was, but the way N described the way he wanted to care for Hil just sounded so wholesome and… Hil cherished it so much. It left him feeling so full in a way only N could seem to do. "Yeah, you are," Hil finally replied, grinning almost giddily. "You're right… You're right. It's not fair to you for me to hold back and decide for you what you can't or… can't handle. We're in this together." Casting a look at his bag across the room, hanging on the back of the hotel's door, Hil gestured toward it with a nod. "So, here goes… I wanted to talk to Reshiram so I could ask her why she… killed, that member of the Shadow Triad… I mean, Whisper." N might have quit calling them by their names a long time ago, but Hil suddenly found the idea of continually referring to the deceased brother namelessly unpleasant. "But I haven't been able to talk to her at all since the Giant Chasm… She hasn't been upset with me, or anything, I don't think, just…"

"Oh, is that what you want to do?" N perked up, a delighted smile spreading across his face. "I, um… I didn't know you were actually interested in honing that skill further…"

Practically gaping at him, Hil incredulously chuckled and asked, "Why on Earth wouldn't I want to learn to do that more? Hello, I'd get to talk to a legendary pokémon! Not to mention how much easier it'd be to tell Noodle to get off my shoulders whenever his brain scrambles and he thinks he's a Servine again…"

Giggling back at him, N's cheeks were dusted a rosy pink in embarrassment, something that hit Hil with another pang of warmth, only this time it hit more like a truck and less like a gentle wave. Almost like a yearning ache. "I just… I had it beaten into my head for so long that talking to pokémon was taboo and strange and humans hated it…" N still sounded amused, but there was quite the raw undertone to it. "I suppose I just figured you weren't interested since you never talked about it ever again… and I didn't want to bring it up in case it… did upset you…"

"Are you kidding?" Hil abruptly flopped down closer to N, never letting go of his hand as he did (in fact, he brought it against his chest as he sat down again, and it took everything in his power to exercise the self-control it took not to kiss it, as even he recognized in his giddy state that might have been pressing his luck). "Your whole thing with talking to pokémon is awesome. That is so nothing to be ashamed of!" Smirking a little, he taunted, "I've even heard Nathan complain about how he wishes he could do that, and you know Mister Man doesn't show envy." Rolling his eyes, Hil mocked Nathan's gruffer, throatier voice and said, "Since, y'know, he's a tough guy and all that. He 'doesn't need any help!'"

Covering his mouth, Hil could tell N was trying not to laugh, but an ugly snort betrayed his amusement and his face flushed an even darker red. Gathering his composure, he straightened his back out and, with a hint of pride that pleased Hil to hear, mused, "Well… It's a little late right now, but I would be happy to try to help you and Reshiram tomorrow… I suppose I could just talk to her for you, though, and that would also get you your answer."

Hil didn't even ponder that. "No… I wanna know how…" A little teasingly, he added, "I wanna see the world through your eyes, man. Er… Eye?"

"That should not be funny, and yet I feel like laughing," N almost pouted.

"I think that kind of humor is 'irony,'" Hil laughed.

"Mm. I think you do that one a lot."

Shrugging, Hil smirked, "Yeah, that, bad puns, and just all around terrible jokes are kind of my thing. Hey, maybe soon you'll understand why Cheren groans all the time at me!" Pausing to blink, Hil tossed his head back. "Oh, no. Soon you'll understand why Cheren groans all the time at me, and then you'll start doing it, too, 'cause you'll start to get why all my jokes are so bad."

There was a long silence before N, nervously despite the amusement lacing his voice, tried to coyly say, "W-well… maybe bad jokes are funny in their own way."

Oh, my Arceus, I'm gonna die. Is he trying to flirt? Yep, I'm just gonna die now, right here. His heart felt like it was going to explode. Deciding he had to end this before that actually happened or he somehow ruined this moment, Hil awkwardly let go of N's hand and hopped up off the bed. "Haha, you think so, huh? Well… we should probably get some sleep before tomorrow, at any rate," Hil yawned.

"This is your bed," N blankly said. "Why did you get up?"

"That," Hil pointed at him, "is a very good question." He sat back down, but N didn't get up. After a few uncertain seconds like that, Hil not-so-smoothly questioned, "So… ah… you gonna…?"

"Um…" N clasped his hands together over his lap and stared squarely down at them. "May I stay in your bed for… now…? I know it is a little small…" He swallowed hard. "But I want to… ah… be with you in case you have more nightmares like… that… It looked painful when you hit the floor like that…"

He almost couldn't believe his ears and felt a little silly for the way he beamed stupidly back at N as soon as he said that. "I'd love that, N…" He felt so warm all over, tingly and beyond joyful, to the point his hands felt jittery. He quickly realized they were jittery as he and N worked to fix the bedspread, and then took a few minutes to try to find a comfortable position for each of them in the bed.

Ultimately, Hil found himself pressed against N, with the other winding an arm around him protectively (to 'keep him from falling off the bed again,' in N's words), both sharing the same pillow. Despite how comfortable and lovely it all was, though, it ironically made the idea of falling asleep laughable. Hil had nervously questioned N at first if he was sure about it, only to have the other reassure him he was fine, and then he had even admitted it was a lot nicer than he had been expecting. Deciding to just take it as the compliment it was meant to be at face value, Hil's pride had swelled and he had nestled into the other's hold.

It was a long, long time before he fell asleep and boy, was he exhausted the next day as N hauled him out to the forest to assist him in learning to speak to Reshiram, but it had been more than worth it. He had no idea what to consider himself as N as, but honestly? That was fine by him. They were whatever they were, undefined and unrestricted by labels, and happy that way, learning slowly but surely about one another at their own slow, comfortable pace.

He'd have had it no other way.

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HEY SO I HAVE AMAZING NEWS!

My school decided to have mercy and ISN'T charging me an arm and a leg despite me not actually living on campus! So while I'm still leaving the P*treon up as a tip jar/for commissions, I don't feel like I have to lump my fanfiction work under the "gets posted to P*treon 2 weeks before everywhere else" rule!

I am so happy! I'll admit that I was really sad about the P*treon deal because I HATE waiting to post my works here to you guys. I get so much fun out of sharing my stuff or even just seeing all my work together under my name under my account. I'll be updating my Tumblr and the actual P*treon page to reflect this change soon. So no 2 weeks of going dark for me bb woo~!

In other news, if this oneshot is chock full of errors, that's because I basically wrote it in a fluff-brained fervor. I'm very gay and so is Hil and - yknow what, sue me, lol.

[amenomiko]

Thank you for the request ❤. No I don't find it uncomfortable. It seems interesting.

In this story I will make that she is pregnant before travelling back to the past. She went to Kyoto to escape from her abusive husband and planning to go to her parents' house, but then she is transported back to 500 years ago.

When she's arrived, she is already 6 months pregnant. This makes the Warlord (especially Hideyoshi) goes easy on her (so practically she didn't go to the war and such, or even riding the horse in such amazing speed).

MC is still MC and her personality, but with a secret, painful backstory that will be explored as her time goes by with the warlords.

Warlords Chosen : Nobunaga, Hideyoshi, Masamune, Ieyasu, Kenshin, Shingen and Sasuke

Nobunaga

Eventhough she is pregnant, she is a brave woman. This what makes him attracted to her. Brave and not like those typical delicate woman of her time.

She is someone else's wife. But that didn't stop him from flirting with her. However as he locked her movement by pushing her onto the wall..

She started to tremble in fear, which surprised Nobunaga as her tears started to fall, apologizing non-stop to him.

Ever since then, he had stopped teasing her that way. He learned to respect her, and come to love the baby in her belly as his own. When they started to love one another, she is afraid whenever he wanted to undress her.

After a moment of reassurance, she slowly undress her Yukata, revealing her old scars.

Nobunaga was fuming when she told him the whole story. Right at that moment he swears that he will protect her no matter what the cost.

As he learned on how wormhole works, he had followed MC to the future (for her to give birth there) and with Sasuke's help, he track her ex-husband down.

To end his life completely.

Hideyoshi

He is reluctant at first. Typical Hideyoshi to be alert and sensitive and all.

But seeing her pitiful state, it took only a while for him to break the ice in his heart.

Why? MC has a habit of apologizing over a smallest thing, asking for forgiveness and a repeated words of "I'm sorry..! Please, please, please,..! I'm sorry!!"

He had loved her ever since then. He wanted to protect her at first, yet the feeling slowly emerge into a new kind of feeling, other than just a mere concern over her.

His calm and gentle demeanor makes her feel at ease and safe. And so she is the first one to tell him, why she has always been afraid even over a simplest thing.

When he knows, he was shaking. Shaking with anger. He gradually calm himself down, then automatically proposed to her right away. Swearing he will protect her forever.

Few months after the marriage, she gave birth. He loved the child just like his own--he is more than a happy father. The child looks exactly like MC, and he is glad for that. So she won't bring any trauma in her daily life.

Masamune

He had helped her a lot.

They had started as friends, and Masamune had made her happy throughout their friendship.

He find her laugh is more precious than anything, he wanted to keep it there, forever, and he will make sure that she won't be afraid or traumatized again.

He have experienced when MC suddenly faint from the fatigue that she got from her lack of sleep. Her nightmares has been eating her from the inside, to the point as the month due had come, she is overwhelmed by depression. He have seen how she jolted awake and cried for help when he watch over her.

"It's him.. The father of this poor child. He had come to kill me even in my dreams..!" She sobbed and at that moment, he finally get to understand all the reasons behind her tiredness, and.. The scars and swollen injuries on some part of her arms.

He swore that if he could find the previous generations of that man.. He will make sure he will kill the whole clan so he will NEVER exist AT ALL.

"Unh..! M-masamune..! The baby is..!"

Her gasp of pain brings him back to reality. Screw that demon. Now it is his duty to protect her, and her child.

"Hey, Lass?" He brush among her hair locks before taking her hand in his as she is ready to push.

"Marry me after you give birth to my child okay? I will be here to make sure you give birth to it safely so for you to be my wife will come true." He kissed her as she whispered a "Yes", and stayed with her until the baby is born.

Ieyasu

At first he find it annoying.

To appear out of nowhere, and with an unborn child even.

He choose not to get involved. But when there's one time she had screamed for help even when Masamune is joking by raising a hand to hit her playfully from their teasing to each other, he throw that thoughts away.

She had been abused by her ex-husband even before her marriage with him. Ieyasu clench his fingers tight when she showed them the bruises all over her arms and legs, and some huge scars on her back that is almost similar to a war scars.. Ieyasu find himself attached to her.

Because he had the same past.

Ever since then, he unconsciously protected her, making him out of his character by nagging at her just like Hideyoshi when she's about to carry heavy items.

When she chooses to go to the war to help around, despite the due is coming near, his heart nearly jump out. She insisted, saying "I couldn't imagine if those who can't be save.. How about their children who are waiting for them to come home."

He clench his fists as she rub her belly, "At least for this one.. It doesn't have to know about its father. My baby have me--unlike the children who are waiting for their own, who have a loving father--that is why I wanted to help, I-"

"I get it already. Just stay in the camp and never leave it, you got me? And another thing--"

"Mmmf-"

He pulled away from the kiss. "It do have a father, MC." Her orbs widen, surprised but confused to his words. "H-huh? But he's- he is not--" He cupped her cheeks in his hand, resting his forehead on hers. With a blush on his face, he continued, "...I will make sure I come back to you and to our child safely. So wait for me."

He then rushed into the battle, aiding the other warlords. As for her, she have helped to tend to the wounded as much as she could. Then at the end of the day, they have won, joyous screams echoed the whole field. Again, as for her..

KLANG! The grip on the bowl of water in her hand fell as she moan from pain.

"Ieyasu-sama..! The Princess!!"

He had immediately return back to her, aiding her for her labor. Now all of them are nervous of the war between life and death and as the sunrise come..

A melodic cry fill the camp. He is the one who hold the baby as it come out of her, hear it cry in his ears, craddle it in his arms and taking care of MC throughout the process.

"It's a girl, MC. Our beautiful princess." He kissed her forehead and hug MC close to his chest. He look at the little bundle, feeling the enormous amount of love growing inside him, swearing an oath that he will protect both of them forever.

Kenshin

He didn't bother about her at first, as for the hate of towards woman. Despite that, the moment she trembled from his touch, his heart hurt so much. It reminded him of Isehime, so fragile and so delicate.

He came to be possessive over her the moment he had saw her scars and old wounds, more of the reason to cage her.

But the thoughts of him to think that she is similar to Isehime had failed when he saw the fire of bravery in her eyes. No matter how broken she is, she is willing to fight for the sake of her loved ones, and this is why he came to love her for who she is, and not because of his old lover.

The moment she went out from the prison of him, the more he is worried about her well being. She may be strong, but she would always have nightmares about her ex-husband. Kenshin swear that once the wormhole has come, he will go to the future and kill that man and no mercy shall be given to him. And he did. MC didn't stop him even though she is against violence.

He loved her child as his own even before she gave birth, being protective the little princess after she is born, sharing some knowledge of swords fighting with her so she won't face the same trauma like her mother and she can protect herself too, and her siblings that is soon to be born into this world.

Shingen

First of all, the only thing that he know about her is that.. She is mysterious from where she had come from, saving Nobunaga and such.

The name of her husband is unknown, more like, she refuse to tell. She will change the topic whenever it touches about her marriage life.

He pitied her, wanted to protect her. He admit that he fell in love at a first sight, despite her being married. Yes. It was pity. But not anymore as he came to know the real story of her and how she ended up in the era.

They've come to love each other, and so is he to her unborn child. She had brought him to the future to cure his sickness, and he was there to help her with her labor.

With the help of Sasuke and her bravery, he accompanied her throughout the process of report for her ex-husband, for the sake of the child's future and her own.

Shingen had punched him so hard when he had the chance, it was very bad to the point his jaw mislocated (ouch).

"That's what you get for treating a Goddess with your violence."

Luck was on their side afterall, especially when they had returned back to Sengoku Era, making the ex-husband jailed in rehabilitation centre for trying to sue against someone that didn't exist (in the modern era), making the people think that he has gone crazy.

Shingen is married with MC happily, raising their eldest son with full of love.

Sasuke

He had loved her for 4 years, waiting to meet with her again.

Eventhough he is surprised that she's already with a child, his feelings for her never changed. He loved her despite the child is not his; he even find himself fuming when he knew the reason she came to Kyoto in the first place.

He vowed to protect her for the rest of his life. She deserves so, he thought. She deserves it. For someone who is in need of a desperate help like her, still had the empathy and kindness within her to save him when the wormhole had came back then.

When she knew his feelings for her, she was afraid. "My body has tainted with that man's touch. I.. I can't, Sasuke.. I.." She trembled, hugging all over her swollen belly with her arms, "He forced me. At times I can't help but wanted to end my life but.. My baby is innocent..! It is innocent, Sasuke..! I- nnh-"

He kissed her. Washing all the pain away. "Let me help you, MC. Allow me to help you. Let's get through this together. I loved you so much, as well as your baby too."

He had helped with the labor when the time has come, he had eased her pain by doing water birth so the process will be slightly better. He knew how afraid she were, and to avoid those depressing thoughts, he make sure that he is there all the time.

"She looks just like you, MC." He smiled, kissing the bundle in his arms. "I'm glad.." She whispered, hugging Sasuke to nuzzle together with their child.

[your-high-lady]

Realisation

AN: Hello, I reside in the lovely country of Aotearoa, more commonly known as New Zealand. That is why the way I've described school/high school differently. It is pretty similar to the US education system but just in case, here are a few guidelines:

-Year 13 is the last year in high school before we go to university. Primary=elemantary, intermediate/senior college=middle/high school.

-I've kinda mixed up the arrangement of the timetables in the US and NZ.

-None of this should cause you to rack your brain because you don't understand what's happening.

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the beautiful Sarah J Mass.

—

High School.

Ugh.

I stood three steps away from the threshold. Three steps forward and I would enter my first class in Year 13.

I didn't want to do it, but I also did. I wanted to finish high school so that I could go to college. Since I was thirteen, I'd wanted to just get it over with. Rush through primary, intermediate and then finally senior college. All so that I could fulfil my two dreams. Stanford University and a loving boyfriend. Cheesy, I know. But those were my dreams, deal with it. To study art at Stanford and to find a handsome boy there who would love and cherish me.

The second I knew I wanted to go there, I started saving up. And after five years of saving up every single note and coin I got, I'd finally done it. Yes, I would have to get a small-sized student loan and another loan from my parents(I insisted I give them back their money), but after all that money was put together, I would have enough for my first year plus tuition and then some. Once I settled in I would get a job or two and pay off the loans. It'd be perfect.

But to do those things, I had to finish high school first. So those three steps, I took.

—

Heading to my usual seat at the back, I took out my sketching book. I'd had a dream last of the sunset rising behind snow-capped mountains(I had no idea why) and wanted to get it down on paper before the picture got out my brain.

It barely took a minute before I was completely engrossed with my sketching. In fact, I got so occupied that I didn't realise how much time had passed before the bell rang. Jumping at the loud noise, I quickly shoved my sketching book into my bag and took out my maths book. But instead of taking the roll, the teacher called up a new student. "Tamlin, would you please come up here?" Miss Smith said to the golden-haired boy sitting two rows in front of me. He was quite handsome for his age. He was tan and muscled. I was willing to bet he was a jock, always playing basketball and football and all the other ball-sports. And weirdly enough, I had to resist a gasp when I saw his deep green eyes which were flecked with gold. They were quite pretty and unusual. Miss Smith flicked her red-gold over her shoulder. Everyone knew she was the school's slut-teacher. I shook my head in disgust, wondering why the heck the school still employed her. "Why don't you introduce yourself?" She asked, turning him to face the class. He looked over his shoulder at her, as if nervous, before turning to face the class. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. But he didn't look nervous. He looked as he didn't feel like standing up at the front of the class, as if he were some showpiece to stare at. Understandable. "Umm. My name is Tamlin. I come from Christchurch. My parents decided to move here because of the earthquakes. I love basketball, and was the captain back at home." Knew it.

"Oh, he's so hot. It's like I want to eat him," A sickeningly sweet voice whispered. I slowly, incredulously turned my head to the left to find Ianthe sitting in the chair beside me. If Miss Smith was the teacher-slut, Ianthe was the student-slut. Those two must have slept with at least seventy-five per cent of the school's boy population by now. Can't wait 'till I get to Stanford.

Thankfully, Miss Smith didn't take long to start the class after that.

—

Just because my school wanted to be different then the others, they decided that instead of having a new class for every subject, there will be just one group of students and they will, together, move around to each class. This meant that I had to spend the rest of the day looking at and hearing Ianthe lust over Tamlin. I was the first student out of class when the bell for morning tea rung.

—

Ring!

I smiled to myself. Finally, lunchtime. As I was packing my bag, I heard Ianthe approach Tamlin, followed by her menagerie of friends. "Hey, Tamlin." She purred, twirling her blonde hair around a manicured finger. She had the Look. Mor and I had come up with the term a year or so ago. Whenever she was trying to woo someone or not-so-subtly inviting them to bed, she got the Look. Her eyes glazed and her voice became all breathy, with her skin seeming to glow with arousal. It was disgusting. I pitied Tamlin. "Do you want to come to my pool party tonight? There'll be food, booze, girls." She practically drawled the last part. She had a finger rapidly sliding down his t-shirt covered chest. Tamlin caught before it could go beneath his pants. To my surprise, Ianthe let out the tiniest of whimpers. Tamlin had such a tight grip, her fingers had gone white. "No thank you." He said, smiling tightly, just as his eyes flickered in my direction, sensing my gaze. I blinked and quickly looked down, but not before seeing his lips twitch up in a small smile. I quickly hurried out of the classroom.

I was in third in line, in the cafeteria, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder to find him there. He put his hand out for a handshake, "Tamlin."

My eyes widened before I got them under control. "Feyre," I breathed, taking his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Feyre." His smile was blinding. No one had ever made me this nervous before. I wished Mor or Nesta were here. Or even Elain. But Mor had taken the day off because she was sick. Nesta and Elain were down in Dunedin, studying literature and botany. So that left me. Alone. In front of the most beautiful man, I'd ever seen.

"N-nice to meet you, too." Why, why, why did I have to be such an introvert; why couldn't I be like Mor, all outgoing and loud and confident?

The smile grew, brightening up his face. My breath caught in my throat. "You needn't be so nervous. I'm not going to bite you or anything." I wish you would. His eyebrows rose. Shit, did I say that aloud? He nodded. I clamped my hand over my mouth. I really need to get my mouth under control. He chuckled, took my hand, and kissed my palm. A jolt of electricity ran through my body when his lips came in contact with my skin. It was a surprise enough that I snatched my hand from his, and spun around, probably hitting Tamlin in the face with my hair. The person in front of me was paying for his food. As the cafeteria lady came to serve me, I heard a light chuckle behind. I was unable to suppress my own small grin.

—

Ten and a half months later

Life was amazing, after that.

The week after the meeting, Tamlin sat with me in each class and during break time. He came with me to the art room when I felt like painting, or to the library when I needed to pick up or return a book. He stayed by my side the whole time.

And during all this, I got glares from Ianthe. The whole time, I could feel her rage coming off her in waves. Big, giant tidal waves.

Multiple times, she tried to take Tamlin away. But every time she asked, he turned her down, saying that he would rather spend time with me. I laughed every time, partly because of the expressions that would cross her face, but more because of Tamlin. Every time he told Ianthe no, he would add a word at the end. For example, "No Ianthe, I would rather spend time with the beautiful Feyre." "No thank you, I much rather appreciate the company of pretty Feyre, here." For the first few times, I blushed, looking away. But then it got funny, and I kinda wanted Ianthe to hit on him if only to hear what word he would use.

It was magic. I'd never felt like this. But I'd read about it. This is what I wanted. It was one of my dreams: a beautiful boy who would love and cherish me.

One week after that, he asked me out.

Two and a half weeks after that, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

One week after that, Ianthe stopped chasing Tamlin and upped the level of her death stares that she was still giving me. She tried to spread rumours about me, but every time they got out of hand, Tamlin shut them down. Either with his bold voice or hard fists.

Eight and a half months after that, we had sex. Were it for him, we would've done it long ago, but I wanted to wait. It was my first time. I couldn't help it; I was nervous. But I couldn't have asked for anything better than what he gave me. It was heavenly. For the first time, I felt like a real teenager, doing things that were normal at my age. Parties, drinking, sex. Of course, the only person I actually had sex with was Tamlin, and I was careful to stay away from the bad stuff like smoking and drugs, despite Tamlin pushing me towards those things. Mum would kill me if I ever did that stuff. Though it did surprise me a bit that Tamlin was into this stuff, what with him being a basketball player and all.

But that's not the point. The point is that I achieved one of my dreams. Yeah, it didn't go exactly as I had planned it, but I'd always believed everything happened for a reason. As did meeting Tamlin.

AN: Please review, it really helps me with motivation. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter is going to be a lot more moving, trust me. Thanks for reading.You may find it surprising(but that not much) where I plan to take this story. Just know that ship Feysand and that this chapter is necessary for the story.

Rowaelin fanfiction: