#and i also. didnt know what to do with it

[3liza]

FAQ:

actually i dont know if these questions are frequently asked because i do not read the notes on posts that blow up as a matter of policy. but if i was coming into this blind, these are the questions that i personally would have about this.

Q: what's the alternative to Honey? i need my treats and deals

A: there are no "alternatives". the Karma extension is the same scam. the Pie extension is the same scam but pretending to be a man-in-the-middle adblocker and also started by the same people who made Honey. just google "[retailer] coupon', you aren't going to do better than the coupons you find that way. do not install coupon extensions or shopping extensions, the ENTIRE BUSINESS MODEL IS A SCAM. any app or browser extension claiming to do what honey does is a scam by design

Q: I don't care about "influencers", they are all evil

A: thats valid. in the context of this case the word "influencer" is applying to a lot of people you would not group with Mr. Beast. honey is stealing referral credits from literally everyone, including you if you just give your friend a DoorDash signup code. if your friend has Honey on their browser, Honey will attempt to hijack the sale/signup during checkout, and you will not get the bonus DoorDash promised you for giving out the signup code. it doesn't matter if youre a professional youtuber or not. also, let's be clear here, your favorite 1000-sub microniche artist cannot make a living any other way anymore. youtube does not pay minimum wage, much less a living wage, unless you get into the upper thirds of viewership by sheer luck. the vast majority of the people acting happy to be there on your screen while you eat cereal are not making ends meet without participating in affiliate marketing

Q: is this actually illegal? are they going to get into trouble?

A: answers to both questions are going to depend on whether anyone goes after them successfully. but if i were a betting man no i would not bet on PayPal Corporation facing any blowback about this whatsoever. im guessing all of this behavior is prominently covered in their TOS which no one reads but everyone agrees to. whether TOSes that no one reads are legally binding or not is a complicated legal question that has only just started to be litigated

Q: what else is going on?

A: the link above will take you to MegaLag's youtube video on this issue, which was released as part 1 of 3. the other videos arent out yet but it also appears Honey has also been running a variation of Yelp Extortion on anyone selling anything (basically a protection racket, Yelp waits for small businesses to get bad reviews [or plants them, its unclear] and then starts calling the business dozens of times a day to "offer" the small business a "membership" which will "allow them to control what appears on their Yelp page". ive worked at two places that were targeted by this one), and also monitoring all shopping carts in every browser where it's installed and stealing employee discount codes and internal-only vendor discount codes and then giving them out to random customers. this has been hinted at but will likely not be addressed until video 2 or 3

Q: why should i care about this when i hate everyone who runs a business of any size, is an influencer, sells stuff online, etc

A: watch the actual video for the explanation but honey is also just hiding coupons from you. i mean it just doesnt work. this is why i never used it. i installed it once, it didnt bring up any coupons i found easily by googling or a newsletter or whatever, and i went "oh this is a scam" and ditched it. it probably worked when it was new, the wedge end of the scams always have to work for a while to get in the door.

and i mean there's "small business owners" and then theres small business owners. i'm a subsistence artist, for a while now i've been studying the youtube economy and cultural shift for artists like myself and concluded i'm going to have to start doing this kind of video stuff to survive. don't make me flash my badge about this, you wont read it anyway, the short version is this referral-hijacking is a way for Actual Evil Megacorporation PayPal to steal money BACK from creators of any size and use everyone who uses Honey as a human battery farm to harvest ad money that you tried to hand to someone else. i dont like that the majority of the subsistence you can even make online is anchored to influencing, referrals, affiliate programs and ads. everyone hates it. no one actually likes Raid Shadow Legends. but you either get paid from advertising or you dont get paid. thats why it matters that PayPal is hijacking affiliate links. it is no different than PayPal walking up and taking the dollar bill you put in the guitar case in front of a busker

Q: how did everyone miss this for so long? A: LinusTechTips apparently knew but didn't bother publicizing it, which is yet another bad look for them. it was apparently "known" iwithin some small online business circles but never blew up for some reason, probably because once you learn anything about how affiliate marketing and ads and clicks and so on actually work, it wouldnt occur to you at all that this was weird, because it's technically not, the entire ad economy works this way basically

if you have the Honey browser extension installed, uninstall it immediately. big big story broke on youtube today strongly indicating that Honey has been massively defrauding basically everyone who does any business with them at every level, including influencers, customers, and actual retailers.

the short version of ONE of the alleged crimes is that they've been hijacking referral links and codes. if you have honey installed on your browser at all, and you use any referral code from anyone, there is a high probability honey will swap out the referral link identifier for their own even if they don't provide a coupon at checkout.

they also are just lying to you, and hiding coupons that very much exist. they're completely fraudulent

paypal bought honey in 2019 for 4 billion, so paypal has been strip mining the influencer economy for 5 years now. the amount of money that's been essentially stolen is unfathomable

[lemon-wedges]

Some process gifs of my paintings this year!

[the-chattering-tower]

The list of Unwise Things probably includes releasing two skins like a week apart but I'm not wise, I just wanted this to exist

Behold: Bundra, The Sequel. This time with lop ears and colours based off of my own rabbit, Puszpáng (who turned 6 less than a week ago, and I got a dragon about it, and I wanted that dragon to have a skin, and now we are here)

Coming to a skin shop near you whenever it gets through the queue in one piece!

[lucigoo]

I also want to add in the purges.

People taking down their fics because of cease and desist letters in other fandoms, entire websites being destroyed because people were holding petty grudges and being "cleansed" off the more popular sites.

You know who weren't being "cleansed" for being immoral? The canon straight ships that's who.

I ship both Wolfstar and Jily, I always have (though I do dabble in other ships) however I am a predominately Wolfstar shipper and the main reason (imo) that many Wolfstar shippers don't write Jily as often (or didnt) unless it's an au is because unless it's Jily raising Harry THEY DIE!

This means we aren't erasing Jily, we're doing the exact opposite.

MWPP was formed around and because of POA and this heavily involved Wolfstar, their dynamic and their relationship with Harry.

Some of us have been here for 25 years and we're there when Lie Low at Lupins and the 40 Line Stare was enough to create entire worlds for two dead gay wizards.

Jily, Wolfstar, heck, even Blackinnon had their place in creating what we have, but you can't just delete the impact that Wolfstar and Wolfstar creators had on this fandom when your now a part of it imo.

Just saw a post that said wolfstar birthed the marauders fandom and now I need to throw down some facts as a 33 year old grandma who’s been in this fandom long enough that she could write a book about everything that’s happened.

2003 - The second the “I’d rather go out with the giant squid” sentence was read by people in June of 2003 the world shifted. I personally watched marauders fanfic take over fanfic.net with a 50% increase in reviews and saves. The primary ship? Jily.

2004-2010 THE GOLDEN JILY YEARS

2007 - Commentarius is reposted to FFNET

2009 - The Life and Times posted to FFNET

2010 - tumblr marauders fandom really starts to take off—specifically the jily fandom on tumblr. We are taking the internet by storm The ship really takes off as MP3 files are made, headcanons are formed, and fanfics were being pumped out daily. It was a beautiful time to be alive.

To put it in perspective, within that time frame of hundreds of jily fics being posted plus new fans entering the marauders fandom and tumblr becoming a thing…only one person was historically really consistently writing and posting wolfstar. @MinervaEvenstar on fanfic.net…and their first fic wasn’t even until like 2005!!!

Wolfstar didn’t become super popular overnight either. It wasn’t until about 2012 that wolfstar became a more popular headcanon among marauders era readers. 2012 was a major shift in the jily fandom dynamics, which I think attributed to the shift in what were “popular” or “unpopular” ships, as the fandom had fractioned off into little cliques.

[gothghostiie]

In the spirit of Christmas approaching, and as someone who prefers making gifts to buying them (for many reasons, the main two being that I love making things and forcing ppl to look at them and that I’m fuckin broke lmao), how do u think the 141 lads would react to receiving a gift from their spouse that was made by them? Like a drawing, something they knitted/stitched, or even a sculpture?

using this as my merry Christmas post so

merry Christmas and happy holidays yall<3 I hope ur having a great time and enjoying urself, sending much much love, mwah <3

cw: fluff, gn!reader + bonus what they would gift you

Price is a sucker for that stuff. handknit sweater? he'll wear that thing until it's barely more than a thread. nothing more cozy than something someone handmade with love specifically for him, nothing will ever be as comfy. that goes for anything handmade, he'll treasure it until he can't. nothing makes him feel more loved than anything handmade. hes has a hard time gifting things usually and will flat out ask and get what you asked for, but also add some stuff that he thought you might like. huge fan of practical gifts.

Gaz absolutely adores anything you make yourself, especially decorative items. paintings, stitching, sculptures, little trinkets, adores all of it with his whole heart. will keep everything with him, everything around the house/apartment. and he notices is somethings missing too, absolutely upset until he finds it again. he immediately finds a place for whatever you gave to him. kyle isnt really the one to gift materialistic things (sure, you get some jewelry or those new headphones you wanted) but he always gifts creative dates that he takes you on.

Soap is also a sucker for anything handmade. is a huge, huge fan of handmaking presents himself (he mostly draws, will 100% gift you a drawing too) and loves receiving them just as much. your skill level doesn't matter one bit, whether it be a patchy painting, a wonky mug or a sweater with holes, he'll proudly wear/display it and make sure you know just how much he loves it. as I said, you'll get a drawing - probably a portrait he secretly drew of you while you were doing the most mundane shit ever and he couldn't help but think you're gorgeous.

ghost is a secret christmas lover imo. colourful lights, christmas tree, sinple deco. he doesn't really want/ask for gifts, tells people there's nothing he wants when they ask. but listen: handmake him a balaclava. that man will propose to you on the spot. I'm so serious. appreciates any gifts he gets, especially handmade, keeps saying you shouldn't have, but that will make him fall hard. hes the type of guy where you think youll get a gift card at best, but you get almost anything you wanted but didnt get over the year. that cute mug? that sweater? those earrings? all yours, he remebered.

[squeakadeeks]

merry christmas my gift to you is telling a terrible tale since I think enough time has passed (ie over a decade) that i can tell you this without exploding.

when i was like 12 and starting out with art, i was so excited to open commissions just like a ✨real artist✨ and it being deviantart in the 2010's, within about a month i got someone asking for furry inflation fetish art. being a kid and having no sex ed, let alone the insanely specific sex ed that would be needed for me to understand what that is, i didnt flag it as inappropriate. I thought it would just be a "cool anatomy exercise like ✨real✨ artists do!" i was so ready and i took it on for 200 llamabucks or w/e the onsite currency was at the time. i did it, i drew it, whatever. well sure enough after posting it i quickly learned what furry inflation art actually was and i was mortified. being in like.....7th grade i was still terrified of sex and i was worried about my parents finding out so i took the entire sketchbook and buried it under my mattress. I lived in fear for months afterwards and felt like i deserved to be shot for falling for it and making something sinful.

the proceeding events happen in a confusing haze because my mother is an utterly puzzling woman so some suspension of disbelief is required but believe me when i say. i wish this was apocryphal. I dont know how or why, but some how some way my mom not only finds the sketchbook under my mattress, goes through the entire thing, finds the one singular offending sketch, then in a concerning mystery i will invest not a single iota of effort to solve due to the implications, immediately clocked that it was sexual fetish art. the one saving grace of a spherical wolf being niche enough that people wouldnt understand the dark deed i had done was out the window. She rips the page out, goes downstairs and parades it to the rest of the family like: "oh my god! look what ____ drew! lets all look at this! lets all look at this right now and laugh at it!" even with just this, i'm full on bursting into heavy hiccuping tears. as a kid this was the ultimate nightmare. you did something bad, you did something really bad, and your primary authority figure not only found it, but is now making sure everyone else you care about also knows the horrible shameful thing you did. except. there was something i couldnt have fathomed at the time that was about to get much, much worse.

my grandfather was dying of parkinson's at the time. when my mother took the sketch and displayed it to everyone like an auctioneer with a high ticket item, i ran out of the room sobbing so i never saw what happened to the blue inflated wolf with punk bangs. Well we all went to visit grandpa. we're all sitting around grandpa who used to be a famous local artist and was a big inspiration to me as a kid. and my mom goes "hey. ____ also wants to be an artist. Do you want to see what they drew?" and you'll never fucking guess what she pulls out of her pocket. hes barely able to turn and look over only to see that goddamn motherfucking wolf again. unlike before where i was crying so hard i couldn't breathe i remember being dead silent and stone still in shock. i dont think i blinked for 5 minutes but when i got up i threw up in the bathroom lol. I cant remember how but this time i did actually get the sketch back and i tore it to pieces and buried it in the yard. it haunted me for YEARS

but anyway now i have a memory of my mother showing my dying grandfather furry inflation art that i accidentally made when i was in middle school because i wanted a rainbow llama badge on deviantart.

[wassupmygays]

every time i listen to Runs in The Family (Reprise), i think about how Scared sodapop must be

"maybe i should finally just walk on out" darry screams, "you'd be one less thing for me to worry about!"

and suddenly soda is thinking about how much darry does for them. how much he works, how much he cleans, how much he cooks, how much money he brings in. and soda knows he cannot do that. he cant do what darry does, and if hes gone... what would happen to him and ponyboy?

"leave you boys, im heading back to school! im tired of lifting you up, tired of playing the fool"

darry cant leave. he cant. he wouldnt. soda knows this. but what if hes wrong? its looking more and more like he wont be able to de-escalate this argument, and what would happen then? he always hopes and prays that the next argument would be the last, but they always just keep growing and growing. would this be darry's final straw if soda couldnt hold them together?

"Start a new life in a different town, there aint no tellin' where i'd go without you draggin me down"

soda knows hes right. he knows that darry couldve gotten out and made a life for himself if he didnt have to devote every waking hour to making sure him and pony didnt get sent away. and god if soda didnt feel a shit ton of guilt for that every day.

"picture life without ole' Darry around!"

god soda doesnt ever want to imagine that. even if darry wasnt the one holding their family together, he wouldnt ever want to picture a life without his big brother. he loves him too much. he needs him. even before their parents died he needed his big brother there. hes never known a life without darry and he never wants to.

but he also can't sit and dwell with this fear because hes gotta de-escalate everything. and darry is yelling, and now ponyboy is yelling, and poor johnny is watching all of this and now theyre screaming. and ponyboy is saying maybe Darry should just leave and oh my god why cant they just stop fighting

and then suddenly darry has slapped ponyboy and soda watches him and johnny sprint out the front door. he doesnt even know how any of it happened. and god he prays that darry wont leave now.

he cant lose both of them

[blossposs]

patriarchy and capitalism are aberrations of natural human behavior. it is not "natural" for men (or women) to be the ones in charge, and the implication that female humans are genetically inferior to male ones is psychotically misogynistic and a complete misunderstanding of biology and evolution.

and what genes are you suggesting that females have been selectively bred for? you understand that if somehow there was a "submissive gene" that both male and female children would inherit that trait equally, right? do you understand the modern understanding of sexual reproduction has only existed for a handful of millennia, right? for a long long time we didnt even know that it was ejaculating inside a vagina during a specific time of the month that made a baby, because monogamy didnt exist yet. and we also didn't understand heritability until rather recently. the idea that humans have somehow selectively bred ourselves is so divorced from both science and human history that i could go on and on about how fucking stupid and sexist this is.

One thing people need to accept is that evolutionary speaking, human females are the losing/inferior sex in the human race. If we don’t accept that, we cannot even begin to try to change it.

Males have controlled and abused us for their own evolutionary gains for thousands and thousands of years. Think of how many fcked up genes females been forced to carry on? There is no disputing that, it is fact, you can see it in everyday life, in the way women are treated and spoken about.

The male being a “parenting figure” is not how humans originally evolved. “Fatherhood” was invented by males in order to control females and their offspring more efficiently. Very little mammals co-parent, and ever fewer with just a male, and in none of these mammals do we see the same severity of control imposed by humans males towards human females.

However it doesn’t have to be that way, we as females can turn the tables for our own survival and evolution, but first we have to admit and see the control males hold over us, and find the fight and will to destroy that hold.

Do you want to be the inferior and controlled sex in the human species? No, of course you don’t, so fight to change the future, fight for yourself, your sisters and for all our foremothers who had to endure suffering for so long.

[wellwhatnowlove]

The longer I sit with the ending of Wind and Truth, the more I think it’s really funny that

🚨WIND AND TRUTH SPOILER RAMBLING BELOW🚨

Kaladin is just hanging out with Chana, with absolutely no idea that she is Shallan’s mother. Because like… he has a weird amount of information about the Davars…. Like about Shallan’s dad and the abuse in their home and also he killed Helaran… who is apparently a bastard… but still viewed Chana as his mother…. And also if Chana was at Shallan and Adolin’s wedding.. do we think she knows how close Kal is with her daughter?? I keep imagining Kal putting the pieces together during a therapy session with Chana and the dawning realization of just how INSANE Shallan’s secrets are or even wondering if Shallan KNOWS that her mom is a herald and also like NALE TOLD CHANA THAT IF SHE DIDNT KILL SHALLAN THEN HE WOULD and that’s not completely related but like HOLY SHIT. and okay fine I could sit on this for 7 years and still not have time to unpack all of this.

THE MORE YOU SIT WITH IT….. THE WILDER IT GETS.

Or MAYBE ITLL NEVER COME UP. AND ITLL ONLY COME OUT WHEN THEY ALL HEAD BACK FOR THE DESOLATION AND SHALLAN WILL LOOK AT CHANA AND BE LIKE “hey mom:)” and Kaladin will be like “😶” …. Assuming Shallan somehow gets out of Shadesmar or like idek who has what information or if anyone has any information? I have no clue but i am sure having fun with it.

Gosh THIS IS GOOD SOUP.

[gldnstrngs]

thoughts post merlin season finale rewatch for the anniversary:

(let me preface that ive never cried to the finale despite me watching it twice and rewatching arthurs death scene several times— i definitely got emotional but never cried)

1.) …so i cried… from the beginning of the episode… i just hated how gwen never got a proper goodbye from arthur and was aiding all of his men, wondering where he was and if he was okay😭 and then later on, when leon tells her that arthurs missing and she turns around and silently cries, but quickly recovers… that was SO heartbreaking. she just keeps going and cries to herself like she deserved so so so much better and i hate that she never got closure

2.) i know that merlin has really truly become emrys but im not sure if it was necessary for dragoon to be his Final Form. i didnt watch the first part so maybe i missed the importance of that, but i feel like the scene would’ve been so much better if merlin looked like himself and casted all those badass spells and everyone would see him

3.) WHEN ARTHUR WAKES UP TO MERLIN AND THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS “merlin, where have you been?” IM NOT OKAY??? it wasnt “merlin, what are you doing here?” or “merlin, how did you get here?” it was merlin, where have you been? that whole time arthur was in battle all😭he😭wanted😭was😭merlin😭

and then the magic reveal. the goddamn magic reveal. that entire scene is so heartbreaking. tell me why i was so distraught when ive seen that scene more times than i can count. and he doesnt just say “i have magic, i used it to protect you” NO. he says i use it for you, only for you. THAT IS A CONFESSION. it’s such a subtle shift of words but it says SO MUCH.

arthur immediately being in denial kills me. it was never a thought in his head that merlin would actually have magic because he associated it with evilness and cruelty. but then he finds out that merlin has always had magic and the way his eyes become so sad… the way his finger brushed his merlins chin right before realizing the truth… im so…

4.) i couldnt stop crying when the scene cut to gwen in the castle, staring out the window and feeling that arthur is alive. her eyes are so sad. i just can’t get over the fact that she never had the goodbye she deserved

5.) as much as i hate the way arthur reacted to merlin having magic, i do understand. he was literally just in battle, was mortally wounded, and found out that the only person he thought he could trust had been lying to him from the moment they met. i dont believe arthur actually thought merlin was dangerous— he’s prone being angry before being sad as a defense mechanism and that was only fueled by finding out that gaius was also lying to him. at that point, it must’ve felt like every person he’d ever known and trusted only ever lied to him. its so tragic I CANT.

BUT ALSO on the other side of that i actually cannot handle how utterly heartbroken merlin looks. his red rimmed eyes because he was crying all night😭 thinking that arthur would hate him forever…

5.) this entire scene bro…

“why did you never tell me?”

“…i wanted to, but…”

“…what?”

“you would’ve chopped my head off.”

“…not sure what i would’ve done.”

“and i didn’t want to put you in that position.”

“…that’s what worried you?”

“some men are born to… plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others… to be great kings. me… i was born to serve you, arthur. and i’m proud of that. and i wouldn’t change a thing.”

UMMMM SO I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS. i have rewatched this scene so. many. times. it is genuinely one of the most beautiful scenes ever written in cinema call me dramatic but im just speaking facts

arthur’s face when he realized that merlin really did care for him. the way he instantly lights up, despite being in pain. and his eyes… theyre glued to merlin. the whole time, he couldn’t look at him directly, but now he was. he was just scanning his face, memorizing all of merlin’s features AND MERLIN IS JUST STARING AT ARTHURS LIPS

also. ALSO. how have i seen this so many times and never. NEVER. caught onto the fact that gwen and arthur’s theme (which is originally titled the love theme) WAS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. there was no mention of gwen at all in that scene. that was all merlin and arthur. this just confirms to me that this is the moment arthur fully realized and accepted that he was in love with merlin

6.) gwen deserved to know that merlin was a sorcerer FROM MERLIN. they were best friends. THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS!!! HE SHOULDVE BEEN THE ONE TO TELL HER!!! they deserved a scene where merlin comes back from avalon and he and gwen hug and cry.

7.) gwaine and percival should NOT have gone after morgana. i understand their rage but there was no way they were going to defeat her unless they had excalibur or something…

and gwaines death was so unnecessary. that was clearly for shock factor and i hated it. but i did get emotional when percy was able to free himself because he heard gwaine was being tortured… and then hes there when gwaine dies… their foreheads touching… (im not ok)

8.) it breaks my heart that morgana felt no guilt or remorse when she saw arthur, wounded and on the verge of dying. you can so clearly see that arthur feels that way when he sees morgana die, but there’s nothing on her end. i know it’s meant to show how far gone she is but it genuinely doesn’t feel right. i really do think she would’ve experienced some sort of internal conflict when seeing her own brother dying… like maybe she realized that none of this was worth it. it didnt feel as good as she thought it would

and when she’s stabbed by merlin😭 and he says he blames himself for what she’s become. people don’t recognize it enough how merlin feels so much guilt for the way he treated morgana. i just know he didn’t want to kill her, but he had no choice and he knew it was his fault…

9.) is there a reason why merlin didnt call for kilgharrah. i know kilgharrah said in the previous episode that he would finally be lying to rest for eternity, but i feel like this was an especially dire situation where he was needed😭 AND MERLIN SUMMONS HIM LATER ON!!!

or what about aithusa??? LIKE THEY DID NOT HAVE TO BE ON HORSES THE WHOLE TIME

(if anyone can explain the reasoning then lmk otherwise it was just a plot hole and that pisses me off bruh)

10.) arthur’s death did not need to happen, yet it was one of the best death scenes i’ve ever scene. it was just so raw and painful. “just… just hold me…” WHAT IF I DIE??!?!,,!!, he thanks merlin, he pats his head, he brushes his cheek, he tries to hold his hand like im fjwjdjsjjswhshshsj

also originally i was not fully convinced by the theory that the breath arthur took before saying “thank you” was “i love you.” i didnt want to be delusional but i actually do think he did say that he loves merlin. AND THAT CAN BE INTERPRETED AS ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC!!! i def see it as romantic but yes… im so Normal…

11.) “i’ve failed?” just. don’t talk to me.

12.) when merlin stands by the boat arthur is laid to rest in, trying to hold back his tears only to sob as he touches his forehead. the way he tries to gather himself. the way he struggles to say arthurs name and cast the spell. the way he watches arthur drift off, shaking. just. pls.

13.) gwen my baby girl. i cannot emphasize this enough. you deserved so much better. my heart broke when she played with arthurs royal seal and then when i saw the empty throne beside her. she had no time to prepare for this. she just lost the love of her life.

14.) it cuts to leon and then percival. and then i realize theyre the only two left in the round table. they both look so distraught. they lost everyone they ever loved.

15.) gaius :( he was waiting for merlin with his favorite meal :(

16.) bro the truck always jumpscares me omfg why is it so loud😭😭😭 then i get sad because merlin is old and walking alone and its the present and he’s still waiting for arthur :(

they should’ve had the show end with arthur saying “merlin” instead of kilgharrah saying it. that’s literally all we needed. it would’ve been so perfect but here we are…

final thoughts:

i love that this episode wasnt just the battle and action. the focus of it was merlin and arthur, navigating their feelings from the magic reveal and arthurs mortal wound. its so painful and heartbreaking but that just symbolizes the love they have for each other. this entire episode was filled with their gentle moments, softly speaking and touching each other. then arthur dies in merlin’s arms but i dont think he’d want to be anywhere else

also!!! colin and bradley’s acting in this episode… it was absolutely PHENOMENAL. they are already such great actors, but they really nailed it in the series finale. i can’t get over how they speak with their eyes the whole time. you can the love, fear, and acceptance they experienced throughout the whole episode. it was just so beautiful and i think that was what rlly made this ep

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki look im back on my "binghe and airplane are similar and i love it" bullshit

except this time i want these two whiny cut-throat bastards to run a cafe together

like binghe is the chef, obviously, and airplane handles the business side of things, and between the two of them, they absolutely make the cafe succeed through underhanded means

like

could they succeed as a business with just binghe's talents as a cook and qinghua handling the bills while the both of them charmed their way through customer service with their fake ass smiles? abso-fucking-lutely. but would they? oh no

qinghua is like releasing rats into the neighboring cafes and salting their sugar in espionage to make sure that everyone knows that the surrounding coffee is shit and the only place for Good Coffee is their cafe. he's making multiple alts online to just destroy their competition through online reviews and switching out the labels on dairy milk with non-dairy milk so that all the lactose intolerant customers are throwing fits on the regular because look, qinghua knows that a small lil cafe cant stand up to the big chain restaraunts, but he CAN destroy the reputation of all the closest chains to him like an absolute bastard

and oki, maybe binghe doesnt NEED to mansplain, manipulate, and manslaughter his way through everything, but gosh darnit, it's second nature to him. he is absolutely gonna hunt down any threats to their establishment and break their arms. and literally everyone who looks down on his establishment or leaves a bad review or otherwise gets in the path of his vengeance trail? loooookk, he cant be blamed for the way he smiled to their face while stabbing them in the back. they had it coming! they insulted his mothers lemon square recipe and thats an arm breaking offense oki

between the pair of them, they have the entire area quaking in confused fear. cuz okay, something i wanna talk about, the pair of them are two-faced and terrifying but like... 99% of people dont know that lmfao

(off topic but a personal pet peeve of mine is when fanfiction has characters immediately notice that binghe or qinghua are lying liars who lie. like "he smiled but it didnt meet his eyes etc" and im just guys. it's VERY established that the pair of them are VERY GOOD lying liars who lie. binghe's main character trait is that he can lie so convincingly that even shen yuan isn't always sure when he's sincere or not. and qinghua was literally a double agent for HOW LONG without getting caught? dude HAS to have a convincing fake smile. so all im saying is that people wouldnt immediately be able to see through that)

so like, yeah, all the bad luck and shit started happening when these two chuckle-fucks opened up a cafe in the area so like, logically it has to be SOMETHING to do with them but binghe and qinghua are literally the two most harmless and charming lil dudes ever? qinghua looks like a harmless pathetic hamster and binghe will thank you tearfully if you like his lemon squares and these two are literally the most wholesome and sweet business owners in the area so clearly they're not behind it

like i just need people to losing their minds a little bit because bingplane have gaslighted them all into submission like the evil cut-throat two-faced fuckers they are.

i honestly cant decide whats better tho. the pair of them having a drink after work together where the vibes are "lmfao we're so evil lets bask in our victory" glow OR the two of them actually only have a faint idea that the other is ALSO an asshole x'D

oki i think i lean toward the latter bc i think thats funnier.

like binghe doesnt pay much attention to airplane bc, as stated, airplane is a pathetic lil whining worm and he legitimately could not care if the twerp lived or died so long as the taxes are filed on time. but tbh, even then, he's competent enough that he doesnt /need/ qinghua around. it's just kinda convenient to keep him around. so mainly he's just apathetic and ambivalent to qinghua, but like, he does sorta notice because they spend so much time together that theres a distinctly... ratty quality to the dude. like, qinghua disappears for an hour and no less than five minutes after his return theres a roach infestation found in their closest competition? sus as fuck. and theres a little bit of a game recognizing game type of energy, but bc binghe could not be paid to care about qinghua's existence, he doesnt really look into it

similarly, qinghua is like 80% sure that pathetic crybaby of a chef is just that, but also, look, he's not dumb and the last three customers who insulted his lemon squares came back to the cafe in casts and binghe is a little too quick to turn off the customer service charm sometimes. and qinghua has basically decided "i actually really dont wanna know". ignorance is bliss, whatever level of psycho his coworker is, he honestly does not care so long as the crazy fuck continues to bake like a god. he absolutely 100% does not get paid enough to know whether his coworker is a serial killer and he also has the self preservation to understand that the less he knows, the better

so they both kinda have vague hints that the other is a two-faced motherfucker, but it's something that they figured out over time. there was no immediate meeting and "oh i know what you are" it was like "oki we've been working together for a year and yeah, im starting to think this guy isnt what he seems". slowburn them into realizing that they have similar personalities, if you will

now as tempting as it is to taking this au in a bingplane direction bc im ngl, i am multishipping trash, i am much more interested in slowburning this as a friendship. or like, grudging companionship LOL because also that gives the opportunity for:

"i just had to ask the worst person i know for love advice" shenanigans

followed by "the worst person i know gives good love advice, fuck" shenanigans

maybe they're having a drink and it's friendly and binghe kinda jsut wants to go home because again, he does not give a fuck about the fact that qinghua is alive, and qinghua also sorta wants to go home but they've both sorta committed to the "we're friendly coworkers" bit so here they are at a bar and trying to map out the Soonest Possible Good Time To Leave when binghe unthinkingly asks

"how do you get someones attention?" because he kinda ran out of pointless weather-related topics and it was on his mind and he really didnt expect qinghua to give him a half decent answer but then qinghua DOES and also knows who binghe's crush is and also is tactfully NOT saying that he knows who binghe's crush is with the casual "look, as an example, that specific person might like~" type of thing

havent decided on a binghe ship tbh lol. like bingyuan is obvious but also would be fun to do some bingliu or bingmo instead lmao maybe bingning? look im a happy multishipper and binghe is shippable with Many Characters. tho for the purposes of this freeform au thoughtless drabbling, the binghe ship doesnt actually matter so i'll keep it vague lol

the point is that qinghua gives really good fucking advice and binghe is just Not Ready for that because he's absolutely seen what a Nightmare scene it is when qinghua tries to flirt

which is somehow how the two segue into a relationship where they talk about flirting and love interests and that sort of shit in the most "we are two stereotypical gossiping middle school girls on the planet who are giggling and playing truth or dare about our crushes" type of way lmfao

because yeah, they're both cut-throat two-faced assholes, but they're also both utterly Weak in love

might be fun if they cycle through a few different failed crushes, but still kinda have fun at each others houses in like pillow forts with martinis that binghe made and gushing about "omg he was like so cute, did you see the way that he brushed me off? ahh imma die, so hot" because also they realize that they both share a Type. they are both absolutely into the Cold Beauty type, altho luckily they haven't crushed on the same person at the same time Yet, but like, it's only a matter of time okay and they know it and they are fully planning to Destroy the other when the time comes bc it's not bros before hoes for them, ohno, it's "to get that hoe, i will bury my bro in concrete" between them and they both lowkey know it LMFAO

and look, mobei jun did not ask to be the culmination of that particular building battle between them. he just came for coffee okay. what the fuck is happening. why is this is life now.

because okay when the pair of them were crushing on individuals who popped into the cafe or people they met outside, there wasnt any sense of urgency to it because they'd just shoot their shot and usually it wouldnt work out, well, it worked out for binghe whenever he went after chicks but he quickly figured out that he was like Cursed with "women simp after me" virus and while it can be flattering to have a simp, it really isnt fun to DATE a simp, ya know? so those relationships usually ended badly. qinghua just has no game with men or women lol

but see, when they realize that they're BOTH after the same guy, then theres the realization that if they fail, theres actually the chance the other one will Succeed and that would be Bad because then they'd have to see the object of their affections dating a coworker and NOPE NO CANT DO IT, WOULD MURDER HIM, I NEED TO GET THAT MAN JUST TO SPARE MY COWORKER FROM BEING MURDERED. THIS IS REALLY ALTRUISTIC OF ME ACTUALLY

so now they're just A LOT more persistent than they've ever been before lmfao they are pulling all the stops, they are using every weakness, they are ready to fucking WRECK the competition

maybe i should aim for a bingyuanmoshang ot4 endgame lmfao. mobei jun and shen yuan are just a happily married poly couple and shen yuan is having the time of his life laughing his ass off every time his husband comes home from the coffee shop like "i dont know whats going on but im scared and weirdly horny" and when bingplane realize that the solution is that mobei jun has two hands (and a very attractive husband), things calm down lmfao

or alternate route for this path, instead of them both thirsting after mobei jun, shang qinghua just has the most pathetic crush in the world, so luo binghe decides to have mercy on his coworker and be a wingman. only he Very Accidentally catches mobei jun's attention instead and now airplane is actually kinda lowkey ready to kill him bc he thinks that binghe snaked him but for once binghe is innocent! he didnt mean to do it! and it's moshang endgame when mobei jun gets over his crush on binghe and notices the angry hamster desperate for his attention

OR OR OR WAIT I THINK I THOUGHT OF THE VERSION I LIKE BEST

oki instead of bingplane actively seeking out love at every corner, what if they're just not. like they do bond over crushes and stuff but actually they're kinda too busy with the cafe and life and hobbies to really think about romance more than a "omg he was so cute~" kind of way. so neither of them notice when they have customers who are just Actively trying to ask them out

like mobei jun has been desperately trying to flirt with the oblivious barista for MONTHS now and he's actually dying because qinghua will just say shit like "wow you're literally the most handsome guy ive ever seen" but then brush him off when mobei jun tries to ask him out bc qinghua just assumes he isnt serious and he's busy with the expresso machine and he has no idea that this man is just PINING behind him while he sighs pathetically to binghe later abt "man it's fun having crushes but dont you just wish someone could like you instead?" and binghe just like "look im actually desirable, cannot relate"

thinking bingliu route for this version bc i feel like liu qingge is just a lot more fitting for Uselessly Pining After The Barista than shen yuan is lol. also his attempts at flirting are basically just picking fights with binghe and he always loses and binghe has absolutely no idea how far gone qingge is for him LMFAO

also now that i think about it, mobei jun should be kinda bad at flirting as well LOL so shang qinghua is like 90% sure that mobei jun sorta wants to kill him

bingplane having their weekly gossip sesh in a pillowfort like "man oki idk why they keep coming to the cafe if they hate us so much... but also man they make for good eye candy, if they werent such assholes, i could see having a crush" and then maybe a terrible game of truth or dare results in both of them daring each other to flirt with the Mean Eyecandy Man and now moliu are about to get Wrecked LMFAO

look basically i think that this sort of au could go in multiple very delicious directions but at the base, i just want evil comrades bingplane running a cafe together with all of the gap moe in the world LMFAO

[cats-n-witchcraft]

I- Goodness. Holy shit. I never thought Id be in one of these especially as such a frankly newbie and bit of a lurker. My tagging, goodness. So many! Like. So so many blogs that have helped to make my game what it is now. @syninplays for helping me with so much, including but not limited to how best to tag my posts and listening to me rant about the process of making cc @deniisu-sims For their amazing batch conversions. Seriously, they make it look so easy @quailhogs Even though they arent as active anymore, I still think they should be more well known especially for their intricate worlds and storytelling you can find in them. Ive lost hours to their worlds and beautifully dark sims. @murfeelee Niche cc, niche cc I thoroughly and utterly appreciate @twinsimming Boatload of conversions and cool as heck game mods that add even more depth to the game @omedapixel Decorator mod? Lifechanging. Taking on the challenge of making a new medieval world is also something I really appreciate. Praaven, even remade isnt always a fan on my laptop. @crowkeeperthesimmer Amazing builder, amazing worlds and helpful build tutorials. My first taste of what could be done in sims 3 with enough patience and finagling @bioniczombie I forgot the tag name but I didnt forget you. Absolutely driven to chip away at converting sims 4 to sims 3 Rapidfire lets gooo @aroundthesims @thesweetsimmer111 @puddingface1902 @ohrudi @bellakonbi @nightospheresims @greenplumbboblover @aisquaredchoco @lumenniveus (I know they make stuff for sims 4, but Im working on converting their stuff and theyre just damn good at what they do) And many many more on modthesims who I dunno if they are on tumblr. Some specifics I cannot play without. Xantak for expanding the ever loving hell out of the supernaturals, Rainbowlack for a much needed override mod and Arro for cleaning up the ui a bit more. Here is to surviving another year and may the next one be fruitful!

Starting a simblr love train 💚

With the holidays here and the year ending, I think its rather appropriate to start a love train! Tag your favorite people so show your love and appreciation to them 💚

[n0vazsq]

Alley rose | JMM21 x Reader

pairing . . . pepe marti x reader

summary . . . When you're having a bad day, Pepe comforts you and lets you know that he's there for you

request . . . yes!!

word count . . . 1.4k+

warnings . . . none!

faceclaim . . . N/A

alexavia yaps . . . one of my fav songs with one of my fav drivers....its perfect guys <3 also didnt want to depress yall so i didnt make it angsty

taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @httpsdana ,, @hwalllllllelujah ,, @parkerloves ,, @paucubarsisimp (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)

. . . The corner store was quiet except for the hum of the old fluorescent lights, flickering faintly above.

Pepe sat in his car, the weight of his phone in his hand a small comfort as he scrolled aimlessly, glancing up at the door every few seconds.

His heart was restless. You’d texted him earlier asking if he could pick you up, but your message was short and vague, too vague.

The door jingled, and his head snapped up. There you were.

Pepe’s stomach dropped when he saw you. Your shoulders were hunched, and your arms clutched a plastic bag tightly to your chest. Your eyes were rimmed with red like you’d been crying, and your lips looked raw, like you’d been biting them to keep it together.

His heart twisted.

He stepped out of the car immediately, his feet moving toward you before his mind even caught up. "Hey," he called out softly, not wanting to startle you.

You looked up at him, and he froze. Your eyes were tired, and the faint tremble in your lower lip broke something inside him. "Hi," you mumbled, trying to manage a smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes.

"What happened?" Pepe asked, his voice low, cautious. He stopped just short of reaching for you, not wanting to push too hard.

You shrugged, looking down as you handed him the bag. "It’s nothing. Just….a lot."

Pepe frowned, his eyes scanning your face. "Doesn’t look like nothing."

You sighed, brushing past him and toward the car. "I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just go."

He watched you for a moment, his chest tight with worry. But he followed, opening the car door for you. When you slid into the passenger seat, he leaned against the doorframe.

"I’m here if you want to talk," he said softly.

"I know," you whispered, your gaze fixed on your hands.

The drive back was quiet, the kind of silence that filled the car with unspoken words and thick tension. Pepe kept glancing at you from the corner of his eye, but you just stared out the window, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself like you were trying to hold yourself together.

When he pulled into your driveway, you didn’t move right away. Instead, you sat there, staring at the dashboard, your fingers picking at the hem of your shirt.

"Are you okay?" Pepe asked finally, breaking the silence.

You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. "I don’t know."

His heart clenched, and before he knew it, he was unbuckling his seatbelt and turning to face you. "Hey, look at me," he said, his voice gentle but firm.

You turned slowly, your lips trembling as a tear slipped down your cheek. Pepe reached out, brushing it away with his thumb.

"You don’t have to do this alone," he said, his voice steady.

You let out a shaky laugh, more bitter than amused. "Feels like I’ve been alone for a long time."

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. "You’re not alone," he said, his hand still resting on your cheek. "I’m here. I’m not going anywhere."

For a moment, you just stared at him, and then something inside you seemed to snap. You surged forward, your hands gripping the collar of his jacket as you pulled him into a kiss.

It was desperate and raw, your lips crashing against his like you were trying to drown out whatever pain was eating away at you. Pepe’s hands found your waist, steadying you as he kissed you back, his heart hammering in his chest.

But then you pulled away, your forehead resting against his as you caught your breath.

"I’m sorry," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I shouldn’t have-"

"Don’t," Pepe interrupted, his hands tightening on your waist. "Don’t apologize."

Tears streamed down your face now, and you shook your head. "I’m scared, Pepe."

"Of what?" he asked softly, his fingers brushing soothing circles on your back.

"Of losing you. Of ruining this."

Pepe’s chest ached as he cupped your face, forcing you to meet his gaze. "You’re not going to lose me. And you’re not ruining anything."

You bit your lip, fresh tears spilling over. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know how I feel about you," he said, his voice steady and certain. "And nothing’s going to change that."

You stared at him, your breath hitching. "I’ve been such a mess, Pepe. I don’t know what you see in me."

He let out a soft, shaky laugh, his thumb brushing against your cheek. "I see everything. The good, the bad, and all the stuff you’re too scared to show anyone else. And I love all of it."

Your eyes widened slightly, and Pepe smiled, leaning his forehead against yours. "Yeah," he whispered. "I love you."

Your breath hitched, and for a moment, the only sound was the soft hum of the engine.

"Don’t leave me hanging," he said softly, his voice almost pleading. "Don’t leave me alone in this."

You shook your head quickly, your hands gripping his jacket again. "I’m not leaving," you whispered.

Pepe pulled you into another kiss, this one softer, slower. It wasn’t about desperation anymore; it was about reassurance, about holding each other in the chaos.

When you finally pulled away, you rested your head on his shoulder, your tears soaking into his jacket.

"I’m scared," you admitted again, your voice barely above a whisper.

Pepe wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly. "I know. But we’ll figure it out together, okay?"

You nodded against him, your arms slipping around his waist as you clung to him.

And for the first time that night, you felt like maybe, just maybe, you weren’t drowning anymore.

Pepe didn’t let go of you for a long time, holding you like you might slip away if he loosened his grip even a little. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable anymore; it felt safe. His fingers ran through your hair in slow, soothing strokes, grounding you in the moment.

"Do you remember when we first met?" Pepe asked softly, his voice breaking the quiet. You could feel the smile in his tone, warm and nostalgic.

You nodded against his shoulder. "At the garage. I accidentally spilled coffee on you," you mumbled, a faint laugh escaping your lips despite yourself.

Pepe laughed, the vibration rumbling against your cheek. "Yeah, and you looked at me like I was going to yell at you or something. But you didn’t even give me a chance to be mad, you just started apologizing a million times, trying to wipe it off with your sleeve."

"I was mortified," you admitted, pulling back slightly to meet his gaze.

"And I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen," he confessed, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink.

Your eyes widened slightly, the weight of his words sinking in. "You’re ridiculous," you whispered, though there was no seriousness behind the words, only a quiet warmth.

Pepe’s expression softened, and he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "I mean it. I’ve been crazy about you since that day, and every time I see you, it just gets worse."

The sincerity in his eyes made your breath catch, your heart fluttering in your chest. "Pepe…."

"I know I’m not perfect," he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I mess up, and I get scared too. But I need you to know I’m all in. For you, for us. Whatever this is, I want it more than anything."

Your lips parted, but no words came out. Instead, you leaned in, your hands cupping his face as you kissed him again. This time, it was slow and deliberate, filled with all the emotions you couldn’t put into words.

When you pulled back, Pepe rested his forehead against yours, a soft smile tugging at his lips. "So… does this mean you’re stuck with me now?" he teased gently.

You laughed, the sound light and genuine. "I guess I don’t really have a choice, do I?"

Pepe grinned, his smile radiating brightness throughout the car. "Not a chance."

For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt steady. Like the chaos of the world couldn’t touch you as long as he was by your side.

And as he wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you close, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you’d found something worth holding onto.

[phantasmatoucan]

I USUALLY LIKE LOOKING AT PLAYTHROUGHS OF SLAY THE PRINCESS [i usually dont buy games bc i didnt have any money or way to play them before when i was little so by now it kind of became an habit of mine to just watch different playthroughs in youtube and also so i can manage my time properly, thats out the window now bc my brother bought me stp for christmas yesterday so lol] BUT SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS MAKES ME, I DONT KNOW IF SAD ITS THE WORD IM LOOKING WORD BUT LIKE MIFFED IS WHEN PEOPLE DESPISE OPPORTUSNIST, LIKE, I GET IT THO, HE CAN BE SLIMY AND FLIP FLOPPING ALL OVER THE PLACE WITH HIS INTENTIONS, HE DOESNT MAKE IT ANY EASIER BY GOING TO THE NARRATORS SIDE WHICH USUALLY BOTHERS NEW PLAYERS BUT I GUESS SINCE I SEE HIM AS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF TLQ AND HIS SURVIVAL [since that he is essentialy how he came to be] AND HOW DUMB HE CAN BE AS WELL [which is really funny] BUT WHAT CAN I DO IM WATCHING A VIDEO AFTER ALL THIS ALSO HAPPENS WITH BROKEN WHICH HE ALSO DOESNT MAKE IT EASIER BY BEING SO DOWN ON THE DUMPS [for good reason he basically came to be because you gave up your power to the princess] AND PEOPLE THINKING HES PATHETIC AND ANNOYING JUST MAKES ME SAD, theyre just little guys they can be a bit silly

[velvetvexations]

as an autistic trans man, sometimes I feel less safe in public presenting as a man than as a woman, because, especially in certain places, man + visibly autistic tends to be more often falsely read as "dangerous and predatory" than when people read me as a woman.

Yeah, as an autistic trans woman who doesn't pass, I feel that. <3

Honestly thank you so much for what you do on this app. I'm so glad there's people who are actually willing to stand with trans men instead of pulling the "um well I have it worse so do NOT talk about your own oppression EVER or else you're a transmisogynist!" I'm so happy I found your blog and I hope you have a great week <3

I hope you have a great week as well!

Eh a long while ago Chris Fleming made a video making fun of polyamorous people which used a lot of the same hurtful stereotypes society already perpetuates against us and I’ve not paid attention since

Noted, as someone who is also poly.

i wish the queer community didnt put so much emphasis on sexuality labels like i just want to have sex why do i need to put a word to it

very valid

about the dropout “discourse”: hot take but real life people are not representation. theyre people. real people are not queerbaiting you and real people happening to not be transfem (and I have literally seen transfems in some dropout episodes theyre just not part of the main cast) is not a lack of representation. these are real people. stop* *not you, the people being shitty about it

the complaint is not in any way coming from a genuine place tbh

hey! i just wanted to let you know how much your blog means to me as a trans guy. you and your reblogs have given me hope at trans unity, and lets me know that i-- that we-- aren't alone. so thank you for everything you do, and i greatly appreciate your support and look up to you 💛

Thank you. <3

i redownloaded etsy recently and seeing all the trans stuff saved to my favorites is so sad. i used to feel happy and proud and i wanted to be open about being transmasc. but since all the discourse got worse i just. cant bring myself to feel like it matters. it makes me feel like im trans and yet i will never matter the way other trans people do.

You do matter anon, I promise. I love you, you matter, and I'm glad you're here.

As a trans guy a lot of the self-ID'd TME transmascs weird me out so much. Like why do they all sound like "I am so strong and my power to Harm Women is immense. I could do it so much and I feel the pull to the Transmisogynist Dark Side but *unsheaths sword* I will protect them instead with my big strong testosterone arms from my fellow men" like what even is that. Who is into this.

it's so incredibly obviously bad but it reinforces some people's victim complexes so it's praxis now

a trans person will joke about their experience and a trf will jump in to assume theyre a white transmasc who has never ever faced any real difficulties for being trans

every time

Out of the many, many stupid ideas in this dumb discourse, I've finally decided the one I hate the most is that underlying implication that transmascs just aren't trans enough. It's so gross seeing people imply that we aren't really trans. Our dysphoria is minimal discomfort at most, apparently. I've seen people post about and imply that transmascs will never understand not feeling like a person or being unable to live a life pre transition and that's why we have privilege, i guess - are you kidding me? It's like our experiences are a joke to these people who are clearly so wrapped up in their online discourse bubble that they're just detached from what it's like for trans people as a whole. Sorry for the vent (would rather not post this on main and I don't have anyone to talk to) but it's just the most grating part. Also it's like. Low-key transmed shit. Thought we left that behind, c'mon.

transmeds are like ants they come back every summer

i wish TRFs had a label they proudly called themselves so i could jsut go through their tags and block them, but noooooo they HAVE to frame their transphobic bullshit as Brilliant Transfeminist Theory. like atleast radfems are fucking honest about being radfems

That's part of why I made antigonism a label for anti-TRFs to call themselves~!

[mcytegg]

as much as i Hated cringeduos relationship pre atlas, i do respect that derap does genuinely care abt pangi deeply. like idk if people realize that the reason derap was so upset at subz was specifically bc he killed pangi.

like zam may have been unsettled by subz suddenly killing a peaceful player in front of him in general idk, but for derap i am almost certain that he was upset bc subz killed pangi specifically bc i garuntee u he wouldnt have cared even a bit if it was like kab, 4c, woogie, jepexx, etc unless zam showed he cared. in fact, caring for pangi is the only thing derap seems to be firm on and smt he wont change regardless of zams opinion on the matter bc pangi is one of the very few people he wants to protect on the server

one of his biggest reasons for not wanting to team w pangi was bc he knows pangi is a peaceful player who doesnt want to fight, so he didnt want to drag pangi into conflicts that would only end up w him suffering or dying for simply being associated w derap. he seemed to completely stop trusting ash, one of two people he called a day 1, the Moment he found out ash tried to kill pangi. like yes the trust was already faltering bc ash lied to him for no reason but he still wanted to talk to him and figure things out before making his decision but that went out the window when he found out abt the pangi thing.

and like as weird as it was of derap to invite pangi (repeatedly btw) to zaun despite already agreeing w zam that they wouldnt be inviting anyone and to lie saying he never invited pangi, it wasnt solely to make mapicc look bad or to make zaun look better. its also bc he is dogshit at communicating his own desires and needs, and i dont think he Wanted to admit that he disagreed w zam. that he wanted to invite pangi to zaun, that he WANTS pangi to be w him. to be with them.

which is like, it ties into deraps deeper issues w insecurity and struggles w direct communication despite scolding zam for his struggles w it bc he acts like he is selfish nd that he has these expectations of zam but he always puts zams opinions and wants above his own at the end of the day. always. if he had ASKED, if he'd just talked to zam and expressed how much it meant to him to have pangi at zaun, zam would have been fine w it!! he doesnt seem aware of just how close derap is w pangi past knowing pangi is one of three people derap trusts entirely, but he cares for derap and i think he wouldve accepted it if derap truly expressed that he wants pangi there.

but he didnt. he lied. bc hes scared to ask for what he wants, hes scared that asking for anything from zam in a direct way will drive him away and w him already feeling like he cant possibly have a place next to zam when zam already has someone he seems to want by his side, hes doing what he thinks he "needs" to in order to stay w zam as long as he can even if he feels like zam leaving him is inevitable.

and honestly i can only see this being solved if zam is able to notice and talk abt it w him bc derap will never do it himself. even before zam and atlas, his manipulative and unfair way of treating pangi was a result of his own refusal to communicate bc him requiring pangi to prove himself trustworthy time and time again in increasingly drastic ways was him wanting to continue clinging to pangi but struggling to do so w his paranoia, trust issues, and general insecurity. bc no!! asking someone for hearts to prove their trust is Not communication. confronting them and accusing them of not caring abt u nd making them prove their care so many times before u believe they actually do is not communcation 😭