#and i HOPE i can keep lighting that fire under your ass cuz dude you have amazing stories

[thelostmoongazer]

Maybe it's kinda silly- but I feel like the more i hear from you, that we've got a lot of similarities and, i dunno, it's cool seeing someone i relate to so much doing things. I genuinely find talking to you and seeing what you're up to makes me crave creating because i see all this amazing work you've got and i'm like.. MAN... yOU'RE doing it.. I COULD BE DOING IT- you're like.. i dunno, a warm lil fire of inspiration and encouragement.

I WILL SHIT YOUR PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[writingforyourpleasure]

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Characters: GERARD WAY x Reader 

 Link to chapter four :   https://writingforyourpleasure.tumblr.com/post/616411340391759872/on-the-road-again

Warnings : None 

 Author’s note: Hello ! Hope you’re all doing okay during those strange times ? Sorry for not posting but I had my en-of-the-year exam, but it’s now done and , I only got a few homework to hand-over now and my second year in college’ll be done !Here you go thank you to keep reading .

5.      “ Pun-master “

  You woke up, feeling something or someone moving in front of you . You started to groan at the uncomfortable feeling not wanting to get up just yet.

“And what owe me the pleasure to be assisted by your presence tonight sir Way?” You said while looking for plates.

The mass finally moved away , listening to your complains .

You woke up what felt just five minutes later but probably was in reality hours after it. Your eyes fluttered slowly as if they were disconnected from your brain. A light shine from the outside was peeking through your tinted window as soon as you truly started to wake up , you realized that Gerard wasn’t here anymore.

“Right…” You breathed out to yourself. Honestly you didn’t want to wake up. You were scared , scared of overthinking this , and because of that you actually was overthinking it . Your brain wasn’t playing on your favor . You didn’t knew how you were gonna survive today. The worst was, you didn’t knew how to act with Gerard , what happened yesterday night wasn’t that big of a deal, really , but again ; you were overthinking it . You just wanted to act normal with him , and was prying your brain to not let you down once you’ll see him. You felt so stupid for having a crush on one of your coworker and friends. You got up and hoped for the best.

You got out of your nest , only to find that you were alone in the bus and that you already had arrived into the next parking’s venue . You went directly to the kitchenette and groaned realized that you guys were short on coffee. You finally resigned yourself and went for the shower.

You got out of the bus a dozen of minutes later to find the parking lot empty except for the security that was already keeping everything on check. You checked your phone to see that it was 3pm . You had enough time, to get yourself a coffee somewhere and not stressing about when to comeback since you didn’t had to repeat with Dex or anything. You put back in your , old black Green Day’s hoodie, pocket your phone . You’ve dressed yourself as unfashionable as it is socially allowed , your laziness was clearly reflecting itself through most of your actions today. You put your headphones on , listening to the last Fever 333’s album and searched on google maps for the nearest Starbucks, once again a reflect of your laziness you figured.

You arrived to the welcoming smell of dirty beans being ground and hot milk.

Once you got your order you looked around for a seat since the place was pretty full, luckily you got one in front of the glass and on both sides what appeared to be two couples . Great. You hope that you’ll be lucky and won’t have to witness the same amount of smooshing in both of them. The teenage one , on your right , were the ones all over each other, with the boy groping at every part accessible of his what-you-presumed-to-be his girlfriend. The one on your left were two men in suits holding each other hands while talking , you sat facing the widow and the other empty seat. You got out of your backpack your sketch book and a pencil starting to draw people passing by while music took you in other world. A tap on your shoulder took you of guard , you got off your headphones .

“Yes ?” you turned around your head to see who was trying to get your attention.

“Hey, is this seat taken ?” Dex was smiling down at you with a big smile.

You said nothing instead kicking the seat in front of you, back to the glass for them to seat.

“I feel like it’s been a while since we talked .” Dex said sitting and looking expectantly at you.

“What are you talking ‘bout we talked just yesterday.” You said not looking up from your sketch book.

“Don’t play dumb y/n , you know what I mean. Like just the two of us ?” Dex sighed , seeing that you decided to not play cooperative . This time you did look up to your friend with a blank expression . Watching their eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It’s true , lately you tried to somewhat distance yourself since you were trying to figure out what the hell was happening with Gerard and you knew that being close to Dex would not help one second . Your friend knew how to read you even when you tried to hide something as well as you could. You had thinked that if Dex was about to ask questions it would make it weird since you were all working together . If you fucked up at any moments , you’ll have nowhere to hide and sometimes it can be a great deal of pain . But apparently you didn’t succeed not to make it awkward since your friend was not so happy that you act a little colder than usual . You were already fucking cold to any strangers , so to be cold to them was shitty. You sighed and run a hand through your now greasy hair . You needed to take a shower quickly , maybe it could wait after the show .

“Hey earth to y/n, hellooo?”

“Huh yeah sorry I was gone for a few…”

“Yeah no shit .”

“Sorry… like for all of it it’s true I’ve been kinda avoiding you guys.”

“Meh it happens , I mean it’s okay we all got our own problems.”

Dex tried to stay warm inside of the Starbucks but you could sense that being against a cold ass window wasn’t helped them to get the warmth that provided the Starbucks.

“I’m so cold….” They whispered as they took a gulp from their drink.

“Well….then stand in a corner .” You replied taking a large gulp of your hot drink too.

“What-Why ?”

“Think..”

“No….. please tell me it’s not because of what I think dude.”

“Coz’ corners are 90 degrees.” You said with a smug smile.

“Ho god …. Ok you know what maybe it’s for the best to be socially distant haha. It is so bad please do not do that again?”

“You’re asking way to much to the pun master .”

“More like the master of fucking nothing y’mean .”

“What did you said peasant , I think I didn’t quite hear that ?”

“Ho nothing .” said your friend smiling like a fool.

“Y/N I’m still fucking cold !” Said your friend trying to warm themselves up by rubbing strongly their arms.

“And how is that my problem , my dear?”

“Someday I really am going to kill you , y’know?” Told Dex between their teeth, with a little grunt along the way.  

“Y/N , Can I borrow your scarf? I’m seriously freezing. ”

“Well I can’t turn into a heater for you now can I? So do you want me to set you on fire? Because, I mean it’s still an option? Like I have my lighter right here so….?” You joked while giving them your scarf.

They gave you a warning glance as if they believed you . Then on a very exasperate note they sighed and said :

“Why are you like this?”              

You both laughed at that getting some curious looks from other clients. Once both of calmed down you try to get serious talking about the elephant in the room .

“Hey , can I ask your advice on something?”

“Absolutely , but I only advise communication, homosexuality, or murder.” Answered your friend earning a smug know-it-all smile out of you.

You were about to start to get off of your chest the whole “Hey I think I may or may not like the lead singer of the band for which we’re working for.” They cut you off.

“WAIT!”

“Yeah ?”

“Are you absolutely positive this isn’t dangerous or something?” They looked very serious about this , which had the reflex to make you roll your eyes deep inside your skull.

“I’m 95% sure, but yeah, I’ve failed fourth grade math so…” You decided to answer her stupid question with a stupid answer.

“Ho okay then we’re good I failed second grade! So just before we start , how long will this take ? I got to pick up my dog at the salon. «You both laughed at that. «No but like seriously we’ll have to go back to the bus eventually . Maybe tell me along the way back?”

“Alright , alright” You both got up from your seats and finally got out of the Starbucks.

“So huh, you remember when we got the 1 week break , alright?”

“Right. “

“Well huh, me and Gerard started talking by text pretty often during this time.”

“Ho. Did you now ?” They said waving their eyebrows in a suggestive way.

“No not like that calm down, you demon fuck .”

“Always a pleasure to fill my responsibilities.”

“You weirdo….” You whispered under your breath.

“Ho do not act if you aren’t even weirder man ! “

“Anyway, I just , I don’t know . I think, I think I may like him y’know?”

“Well it’s pretty comprehensible , I mean he’s hot .”

“I’m not talking about this you twat!”

“Ho c’mon you can’t say he isn’t !”

“Haha ,He is , I ‘ve sight too I’d let you know. It’s just not the point here .”

“You do? Sorry it’s hard to tell when you dress yourself like that .

“You bitch!” You choked on your drink , coughing violently.

“I’m just kind of dreading to really assuming the whole ‘hey by the way I’m hitting on you’ I don’t want to make it weird during the tour , when we’re not even at the half of it. And I don’t wish for everyone to see that I am hitting on him. I’m not ready.” You explained to Dex , not really wanting to expose everything you and Gerard said or do , foremost because there’s not that much to say

“Maybe not hitting on him is a good call since if you do I’m pretty sure he’s gonna freak out hearing your lame puns.”

“May I recall to you that I’m the pun-master AND the master of pickup lines ?”

“You completely suck at pickup lines, bro.”

“No I don’t !”

“The last time you tried one of you’re pickup lines was on this poor cute girl in Louisiana when you said ‘Are you Google –“

“CUZ YOU’RE EVERYTHING I’M SEARCHING FOR !!!”

“Yeah no wonder it didn’t worked !”

“I’m a genius , you’ll miss me when I’m gone.”

“You wish . So why are you’re feeling attracted to the guy ?”

“Well you see my kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say. And Since I know him he seems to correspond to this criteria , so I find it pretty attractive and hot since it’s my main kink.”

“Yeah , too unrealistic. Settle for bondage like the rest of us.”

“Where you ever nice Dex ?”

“2012, worst year of my life.” You laughed at what your friend said . “No but more seriously y/n, just let it happen y’know? And when you have the feeling that both of you are having a moment then maybe hit on him but stay subtle y’know?”

“I just want him to take me out…”

“Like, on a date or with a sniper ?”

“He’ll have to surprise me .” You both laughed before changing the subject to the little surprise you’ve both had planned for Max, since he was spending all of his nights and days working on your band , you wanted to do something nice for him. You bought a cookbook a few weeks ago for him as a present for the occasion, he often baked pastries as a distressful way to exhale from work time. Even though the bus condition made it hard to cook anything big it already was a good start. And you bought some bottle of Irish hard cider, since he had said it was the best thing he ever tasted when you all took a vacation to Dex family house there. After getting back to the bus everything went pretty fast , but the talk with Dex about Gerard was still playing in your mind. Ames saw that you were lost in your thoughts most of the time and ask you several times if everything was okay, you tried to act like you didn’t knew what he was talking about and you all moved on with your day . Mikey, Frank , Gerard and Ray were already in your bus when you had come back from your coffee session, and they yelled at you for not texting them and taking them with you. You brushed it off saying that next time you would. Gerard had tried to share looks with you during the day but you were too much caught up into your head to notice.

The show this night was nice and almost too short even if you guys took a ten minutes on My chemical romance planning since you played a special song. Once you were backstage Ames and Billy started their routines taking everything off stage to let place for the boys. To go faster Max offered to help them. It gave you and Dex a chance to run to the bus to prepare your little plan. You took any cushions , pillow and anything fluffy you could find , when you were done the bunks were quite a mess but you didn’t want to think of it since you still had to prepare the hard cider and the cake you brought from the Mark & Spencer’s not having too much time to find anything else. By the time everything was served , you knew that My chem was done with their show too , so you decided to prepare them a part too , you made a point to serve a apple juice instead of the cider for Gerard , not wanting him to feel excluded or anything. Max had been held backstage by Billy and Ames who were your dearest allies as ever.

You installed yourself with every plates and drinks giggling between the two of you alone in the bus to stupid jokes.

A knock made itself hear through the bus and Billy appeared into the kitchenette area before being followed by Ames and Max , who where looking at you with huge smiles spread across their face and a snort from the three of them.

“What the fuck did you do with our beds ?” Asked Max between a laugh.

“Well we did a pillow fort !” Answered Dex.

“Isn’t that a little childish ? “

“Does it means you don’t want to join us ?” You asked Max.

A silence swept through the bus.

“…Move over .” Said Max entering your huge pillow fort and already going for the cake and drink.

“Wait there’s a party and you guys didn’t told us about?! “Said Frank entering your bus.

You handed a plate in his direction , earning a smile from him before he arrived by your side as well as everyone else too.

Frank was on your right while Gerard was on your right and all of you were in a cercle eating and joking about stupid stuff.

“Hey you look better than this morning it’s good to see.” Whispered at your side Gerard offering a sweet smile before readjusting a few locks behind his ear.

“Well It’s because in the end we migrate towards comfort , and I realized that I am most comfortable around you , all of you.” You said returning a bright smile to the man.The night went along before Frank spoke up .

“Guys how are you gonna clean this mess to sleep tonight ?” Painful groans made themselves heard from all of you.

[koalaaquabear]

The 5 hour finale live stream just concluded and y’all, it was crazy. It has been a wonderful several months with all you guys and I am so excited for April 8th and Junior Year. 

MASSIVE SPOILERS UNDER THE FOLD IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE STREAM YET. Here is my clusterfuck of a commentary. Enjoy!

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Live Reaction -HOOT GROWL BABY it's time. I didn't react to part one but wOW that one was crazy. Get ready for EMOTIONS :'(( -SIG FIG RESCUE MISSION lol #ontour -well ok brennan that canopy shit is scary as fuck -murph is still looking like riz -Zaphriel and Ayda!!!!!!! -"HOLD ME BACK GORGUG" i love u emily -Brennan I stg -Ayda is Gorgug's dad lol -oh shIT they're totally in the cottage -heLL YEAH AYDA!! -oh GOD figayda kiss? exceptional. -if ayda dies i WILL throw dice at Brennan -ok brennan make me cry then -GET THE VAN GORGUG -gorgug truly is the greatest wizard of this age -#hugeblueguy -aww zac oyama i love you -"semi-fallen" oH dEar -gorgug texts zelda IMMEDIATELY i love him -amaZING thank you zelda -"ew, creepy, hate that" -zaphriel is the best character you guys, what a homie -i keep forgetting ayda can fly. like she has wings. i know that. -AELWYN! -nOPE someone is coming through the forest and if it's arianwen i will kill cry -HANGMAN???? -HANGMAN!!!! HIS DOG!!!!! -HANGMAN NO I LOVE YOU YOU'RE THE CUTEST DOGGY -adaine i love you baby -"the weak yogurt man" -what high ranking devil??? -fabian you're adorable -aww fabian has a puppy!! (i get that the hangman is eight feet long don't @ me) -that's the first "the ball" -lou can never have the highest roll -BARDY BOYS -oop kristen and riz time -tracker? i barely even know her -chills, brennan. chills -someone in the chat just said "so did skrank fuck zelda?" -intense muSIC -nononononononono -ragh, tracker, and sandralynn better be all right -ooo a sTICK -HELL YEAH RETURN OF THE RIBBON DANCE -"riz weeps" holy shit i love him -"something bad always happens when we go off together" -#RIZTEN -awwoOOOOOOO -ayda can fly too! -absolutely FUCK this bridge ABOUT 30 MINUTES -poor ayda -please say they're ok brennan -"put your tongue baCK in your mouth" -sANDRA LYNN NO -"what kind of arrows" "you know what kind" fuCK OFF BRENNAN -if baxter dies i will cry -wait faerie fire is a cleric spell..? absolutely fuck me -ok aelwyn let's fuck shit up -calling the bank in the middle of this nightmare forest lol -heLL YEAH ZAPHRIEL -luck check luck check luck check -"y'all are going to turn into dragons" -fabian straight up cries? what a fucking rich kid -NO WAY HE HAD T H E COIN??? -REMOVE CURSE BABY -"nnOOO!" lmao -ally and brennan are in the chat -kristen's religion is REALLY coming in handy -the name was turned into the night yorb lol -"how's that axe feeling?" "..pretty light ;)" i love him -ayda can lift the axe??? exceptional -FIG IS KALINA? ABSOLUTELY RAD -brennan has created a place where illusions are real and emily is holding him TO IT -"do you have a dongle?" incredible -EMILY I LOVE YOU! KALINA IS A YOUTUBER BABY -wretchrot is baCK baby -aelwyn i love that -"i am a low quality child" "yeah ayda you're a bad kid" -"hey bitch" emily axford is a goddess -im sorry cOURT OF ELDERS? -NO I WILL CRY -ROLL INITIATIVE TIME -go OFF hangman -ooo some high initiatives babyyy -zac oyama is my favorite ever -"trackerrr" -brian as soon as emily was threatened said "how dare you" -brennan you FUCK "i'm awake for all of this" FUCK YOU -fig and her mommy issues: an album -absolutely FUCK THE TREE GUY -kick that wood elf BITCH ABOUT ONE HOUR -fuck him UP fabian, shit in his gODDAMN mOUTh -"SPRING BREAK YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER" -pleASE BRENNAN LET HIM SHOOT HER WITH THE TINCTURE -spRING break this is for the corn god -okay nevermind riz is holding his action -i love the intrepid heroes they're adorable -"ice feast" fucking love them so much -yES the ball thank GOD -brennan..? -"her rage ends" tracker = barbarian -FIRST NAT 20 BABY -"IT 100% WORKS BUT IT 50% WORKED" -that's the second "the ball" -bOOOOOOO BRENNAN -mad plans for the tree guy -sorry, is his name crAFTME ROOTDRINKER? -oh ok it's aelwyn we're fine -cone of cOLD baby i love aelwyn what a babe -you absolutely hate to see it -ragh my baby i love you -SPRING BREAK -tracker nO PLEASE -TRACKER JUST CRIT OH NO -brennan is really good at acting this btw -wait 14 on a crit??? i mean oH NO kRISTEN, bOO -disPEL MAGIC BABY -ALLY BEARDSLEY YOU ABSOLUTE GOD -aww kristennn is babyyy -tracker nooo don't cryyyy -you've sAVED your GIRLFRIEND -"some of us have already done that today" fig the sHADE -ally simply musT get new dex -absolutely fuck that brennan i don't need that vampire pixie -FUCK IT UP AYDA -FIGHT ME IN THE SKY! -"does a 29 hit?" daMN zac that absolute SHADE -53 DAMAGE?? CHEJ IS SO FUCKING STRONG -"goddamn paper lantern" -absolutely fuck you brennan -nevermind gorgug and adaine both passed the con saving throw -"i don't like you" lou really gets personally upset about this and i love that -nO NO NONONONO aelwyn and tracker are down -FUCK IT UP ADAINE -gdi brennan don't do this to us -ABSOLUTELY FUCK THE TREE -fig is straight up gonna kill her mom -this is scary as fuck -HANGMAN HAS A BREATH WEAPON AND YOU DIDN'T SAY SHIT??? CHOKE ON GRAPES BRENNAN -FUCK EM UP HANGMAN ABOUT 1 HOUR AND A HALF -wood elf is DOWN baby hoot growl -kristen thinks the elf is gak lol -23 DAMAGE??? AC OF 25??? ABSOLUTELY FUCK IT UP FABIAN -SHENANIGANS TIME FOR MURPH -HELL SECRET AGENT TIME -27??? RIZ YOU'RE THE HOTTEST -third the ball -imagine the ball is secretly SO HOT without the hat -YES BRENNAN GOT A NAT 1 EAT YOUR GODDAMN DICE -sweEET -fourth the ball (they've all been Lou cuz of course) -incredible turn murph -kalina is SO GOOD at skateboarding -#bloodphoto -KALINA HAS 23 WISDOM? absolutely fuck me -oh hELL YEAH FIG COUNTER THE COUNTER -emily is doing some SHIT right now you guys (fear spell) -DAMMIT that high as fuck wisdom -sorry WHAT she rips open sPACE??? -BABY BETTER SAVE THE GODDAMN DAY -let's go BABY -"mMMHHHHnnN leET ME tOUCh ItT" baby is fucking weird -"baby vs mommy" i love you siobhan -aelwyn better not DIE brennan -riz baby let's get it -trACKEr -nAT 1??? kristen is unCONSCIOUS?? -HUMAN DETERMINATION!!! THE GRIT BABY] -wait aura of life is badass!! they can't lose damage?? -okay scrap that we're gonna TURN UNDEAD and then MASS HEALING WORD? absolutely incredible -gorgug has so much goddamn health -FUCK THIS TREE DUDE -KILL IT AYDA LET'S GO -"her girl's side" *in lou voice* okAY bRENNNAn -second nat 1 but both of them re-rolled -GEM!!!! -LET'S GET GORTHALAX BABYYYY -"BIG DADDY" -ayda is so turned on lol -KILL IT CHEJ OKAYYYY -fuck this centaur -i'm so nervous -puT THOSE DICE DOWN BRENNAN -"you're gonna drop." shuT UP -riz is fULLY DEAD???? -i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. -sHUT UP BRENNAN -baby is DEAD oh my GOD you absolutely hate to see it ABOUT 2 HOURS -nO NO NO NO NO NO NO PUT THAT CROWN AWAY BITCH -absolutely fuck me, the nightmare king is totally fucking back i hate myself -aww fabian is baby -hELL YEAH FABIAN SPRING BREAK -"i've lost one friend, that's too many" fabian is adorable -"that's a full ass miss, my guy" -sandra lynn just crit on chej :(((((( -14 damage is not very spring break of her (she did 28 but it was halved because gorgug is such a strong boyyy) -LET'S GO LOU -almost all of them are spellcasters wtf (only one who isn't is riz but he has a daily misty step) -fuck em up hangman -fUCK EM UP HANGMAN! d8 + 2d6 +8 i think -figaroth the unfaethable baby -THOSE ARE SOME SHENANIGANS FIG I LOVE IT (she's shattering the rubies to get a revivify diamond) -casts teleport??? aelwyn came here to FUCK -"i would love to teach you this spell" aww the abernant sisters liking each other is my new aesthetic -fuck em up adaine -you can hit the tree on a 12 babyyyyy -heLL YEAH 44 DAMAGE ADAINE IS STRONG NOW -kalina is not even that cool she just said "that's enough of that" in the most uncool way -2 down 3 to go! -omg wait it would be so badass if they could just remove curse on kalina -"Mr. The Insatiable" -ayda is such a sweetheart "i don't care if you want me to date your daughter but i do hope you love me" -"I LOVE THIS SONG" yes siobhan me too -on a DC 20 she got a 31!!!! consider my jeans creamed -SHRED BABY GIRL!!! -KILLIAN IS DEAD! RIZ IS ALIVE! -ayda is so turned on AHHH -I LOVE RIZ SO MUCH "am i interrupting something???" -fuck him UP chej! 3 hits, no crits -hell yeah mr. march!! oh sorry wrong series -a gROUP PROJECT i'm DEAD -someone in the chat called him "snac oyama" and you're rigHT -siobhan's straight fucking this tree UP -the spellcasters are like all out of spells at this point -fuck OFF arianwen. KILL YOUR MOM -"where's your father, aelwyn?" "last i saw, adaine killed him so *shrug*" i lOVE HER -FUCK THEM UP GORTHALAX -abolutely fuck the nightmare king -waIT GORTHALAX IS GONNA KILL THE NIGHTMARE KING -sidenote: fig calls gorthalax pops -dO IT BRENNAN kILL YOUR OWN BIG BAD -this treeant has GOT to be dead -NAT 1 on that attack?? SPRING BREAK BABY -no we haven't seen kalina in action brennan, and we do not want to -OH SHIT THE TIE! YOu just got FUCKed bRENnan eaT youR DICE -yeS AYDA ROAST HER -"GOTTEM!" -i'm sorry i just hallucinated, did you say 6 ATTACKS? -time to go VIRAL BABY -19 intelligence, 23 wisdom, 20 charisma for kalina? absolutely fuck me -riz just got kICKed! you absolutely hate to see it -GODDAMMIT -KALINA IS HOMOPHOBIC CONFIRMED ABOUT 2 AND A HALF HOURS -brennan be like "im about to kill this bird" -absolutely fuck me i hate this -let's go FIG -time to caTCH the bALL -murph has the same thinking face as riz and it's adorable -this is not very spring break brennan -DC 25 acrobatics check? c'mon faBIAN -29????? -fifth the ball (from the hangman) -"there's just something endearing about him" fabian loving his friends is adorable -absolutely fuck me that fire elemental is adorable -absolutely swaddle the ball -well hot take but fuck the nightmare king you guys -absolutely NOT brennan do NOT kill adaine you PSYCHO BITCH -PLEASE ADAINE LIVE -STRAIGHT DEAD? FULLY DEAD? FUCK OFF WITH THIS INSTAKILL SHIT BRENNAN -hell yeah ayda is back and kristen has the revivify diamond -aelwyn FULLY banished that unicorn -it's good to know ragh really doesn't want them to die -YES RAGH IS BACK BABY -fuck em up kristen -s/o to DND Beyond btw absolutely banger website -hell yeah mass healing word is awesome -clerics are GOOD you guys i should play more clerics -FUCK IT UP AYDA -SANDRA LYNN IS BACK BABY -skater chej is my favorite thing -aBSOLUTEly fuck the tree -i have no idea wHAT is happening ABOUT 3 HOURS -fuCK YOU nightmare king -i absolutely hate this battle but at least gorthalax is still standing -gorgug better split this gd tree -"what if we just kill kalina?" yeah zac it's that goddamn easy -brennan almost just fucked everyone -"does she want to borrow my teddy bear?" the SHADE -"MAKEOVERRR" i love you siobhan -this tree SUCKS -battlemaster is cool as fUCK SPRING BREAK -BARDY BOYS also i think that was a nat 20 -i can't imagine the thistlesprings watching the battle livestream and like worrying if gorgug is going to die -FUCK HER UP THE BALL -ABSOLUTE SHENANIGANS FROM MURPH! -with ADVANTAGE BABY -"has anyone seen my hat!?" keep it off baby you're HOT now -"mirrors negate mirrors" "i think oscar wilde said that" i love them -#hotrizweek? -holy shit fig is FUCKING THIS BATTLE UP -HELL YEAH KALINA ROLLS A NATURAL 2!!!! -hell yeah adaine is back and SO MUCH is happening that i'm like forgetting to write down my reactions -kill this woody motherfucker baby -the music is too lOUD -ok it's normal now -fuck em up gorgug -i'm sorry the chat is saying he did 90 DAMAGE?!?!?!? -KILL IT CHEJ ILY -fuck off brennan, absolutely fuck off -ABSOLUTELY FUCK OFF BRENNAN -gorthalax is FULLY DEAD? absolUTELY FUCK YOU -SAINT KRISTEN APPLEBEES -adaine has SOLVED THIS SHIT -god all the abernant names are confusing -fuck you kalina ABOUT 3 AND A HALF HOURS -BRENNAN I STG IF RAGH ENDS UP DEAD -hellish rebuke that bitch -c'MON faBIAN HIT that BITCH -wait is kalina a rogue and a druid? absolutely incredible -FUCK IT UP FABIAN -OMG THE HANGMAN BETTER FUCK THIS UP -YES THE BALL 31 DAMAGE -so the stream just ended. i'll say it again: absolutely fuck me -ok so we're back and kalina got fucked up -WHAT THE FUCK A NAT 20???????? YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE IT -ALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS -I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS AND NEITHER CAN BRENNAN -MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY ALLY -i can't believe this. eat your GOD damn DICE brennan! -OMG ARE THE NIGHTMARE KING AND THE GODDESS ONE AND THE SAME? -THEY ARE! THE NIGHTMARE KING IS THE NIGHTMARE QUEEN -brennan is CRAZY AHHHHH -brennan absolutely stop this tension -28 insight. brennan is fucked -GO TOWARDS HIM KRISTEN -YES!!!! PLEASE SAY THIS IS A GOOD THING -ALLY GOT A NAT 20 THEY BETTER BE RIGHT -fear. is. not. real. -this is just like the ending of moana -NO WAY BRENNAN I LOVE YOU (you wouldn't believe it from what i have said but it's true) -this is intense i'm about to cry -you're meeting god and you say "is it too early for this?" -LMAO 5'9" -Moral of the story: IDK and that's OK -ok ally make me cRy -HELL YEAH NEW SHIRT BABY -i'm so emotional -"well oBVIouslY cASsAndRa" i wish every deity had names as normal and human as cassandra -fuck them UP cassie -i love that tracker's just like "uh... babe?" -love having god in your corner -no more hangman puppy :((( -RIZTEN are the CUTEST i love them "i love all of them, riz the most, we know this" -"we still need the crown for our grade" FABIAN I LOVE YOU -"counselo- former counsel- i'm an assistant :(" why do y'all think this man is hot -KILL ARIANWEN -"she tried to hurt me in my shattered state?" "that's her MO" aww adaine my baby -HOLY SHIT PLEASE GIVE GILEAR ALL OF ARIANWEN'S MAGIC -GORGUG YOU SWEETHEART I LOVE YOU -cassandra throwing SHADE -ThE vANdS -aelwyn throwing SHADE -AWW RAGH I LOVE YOU BABY brennan lives another day -"a big bug gave me a riddle" that is NOT what happened -aww the hirelings are all crying and i DO NOT stan -hell YEAH cassandra OH I STOPPED KEEPING TRACK OF TIME IT'S BEEN OVER 4 HOURS -hELL YES HANGVAN -i love you fabian -nO IS CHUNGLE DOWN BIM REAL? -maybe the real chungle down bim is the friends we made along the way -GARTHY i love them -arthuR aGUEFORT - absolutely wild -ayda and arthur is crazy -"snOGGING THE HEADMASTER'S DAUGHTER ARE WE?" -awww that is so smooth fig "you don't need to make me the most magnificent creature because it seems you already have" -ARTHUR PULLS THROUGH -garthy is a cutie i love how they care so much for ayda -oH FUCK ME garthy is ayda's child from her previous life -"your girlfriend's daughter fucked your mom!" goddammit siobhan i can't handle this -if they fail i will cry -CHRONOMANCY!? absolutely fuck me -"professor principal headmaster aguefort" -hell yeah arthur you're killing it -faelwyn? absolutely can't handle it -aww kristen is baby -jawbone and sandra lynn are ok? amazing -jawbone is the best character -"our parents are great" kill me why don't you siobhan -AWWW FUCKING STOP BRENNAN WITH THESE GIFTS -i just cried he wants to adopt her -"you're easy to love" jawbone is fUCKING me up -LYDIA BARKROCK what a badass i love her already -"a pheonix whom everyone she touches is reborn better" fuck off emily -gorgug is a cutie <3 <3 -ABSOLUTELY KICK SKRANKS BIRD ASS -GORGUG CONFIRMED FUCKS -riz is a dork i love him -who knew "you're so much like your father" could make me feel like that -GILEAR IS MOVING THE FUCK IN BABY -GILEAR WITH SELF CONFIDENCE IS MY AESTHETIC -aww jawbone gave ayda autism books? jawbone is the sweetest to ayda cuz OF COURSE HE IS -AYDA GETS HER SPELL!!! -Ayda's Comprehend Subtext is the cutest spell ever -adaine and fig's friendship is too cute -craig has always been down for everything. i don't know craig but i love him -YES HOOT GROWL HOOT GROWL I'M SO PROUD OF RAGH -"BAD KIDS FOR LIFE" RAGH IS A CUTIE -NO FAELWYN IS REALLY HAPPENING I CAN'T -fabian's laugh is so cute -i love how nervous fabian is -WAIT FABIAN AND AELWYN ABSOLUTELY WILL FUCK? -fabian's gonna get his KISSES IN -aww i get how hyped figayda is but they are truly so adorable -weLL EMILY AXFORD I WILL LET YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT -they said i love you :((( -tracker only deserves the best -TRACKER'S GOING TO FALLINEL? I LOVE HER -ragh is going too? gay road trip! -that's adorable -ABSOLUTELY NOT BRENNAN FUCK OFF DO NOT SAY THE NIGHT YORB IS GONNA BE THE NEXT VILLAIN -BRENNAN NO YOU BITCH I HATE YOU THE NIGHT YORB IS THE VILLAIN OF JUNIOR YEAR? -that was crazy. i cried, i laughed. i am fuCKING HYPED FOR CROWN OF CANDY AND JUNIOR YEAR GANG!

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

Ride or Die ch.15 -Dead End

Colt's POV of chapter 15, when MC crashed her car

Colt x MC (Ellie)

Words: 3557

Warnings: NSFW

This was requested by @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction 

Colt had spent all day looking for Toby and Ximena, finally finding them and filling them in on what’s been happening. He told them about the plan Ellie came up with, capturing the Brotherhood on video.

“I’m hoping they’ll be too distracted by my attempting to catch them on camera that they won’t even notice there are others. “I bought a burner phone specifically for this, so it really doesn’t matter if anything happens to it.”

“Wow, that…could actually work.” Toby told him

A flash of pride rippled through Colt. That’s because my girl is smart.

  After telling them what they need to do, where they need to be, and at what time, they parted ways. I hope Ellie’s right and they pull through.

Colt rode his bike to a random small house in South Central, roaring into the quiet neighborhood, parking behind Ellie’s pink car.

Pink. She had to have pink. So noticeable, so girly girl, so…Ellie.

He gets off his bike and saunters over to where Ellie is standing with Logan. Fucking Logan.

“Is it done?” She asked

Cold nodded. “Green light. We’re just waiting for a call sometime tonight.”

“You’re sure?” Logan had his eyes narrowed, looking at Colt accusingly.

Anger bubbled up inside him. “Yes, I’m sure, you…”

“Guys, we’re on the same side, remember?” Ellie cut in, glaring at the both.

Colt sighed, running a hand through his hair. Fine.

Logan looked at her apologetically. “Let’s just get inside.”

Colt takes Ellie’s hand and holds her back as Logan walks ahead. “Hey, look…I stopped by the old garage earlier, to try to find some things. Anything, really, to remind me of my family’s legacy. And I found this. I guess my pop kept it from my first car. He had it in his desk. And now, well, no place for it on my bike, so…I figure you might as well have it, if you want.”

He hesitantly holds out a little cactus bobble head, complete with a mustache and sombrero. Please don’t laugh. I know it’s lame. I was a kid when I got it and thought it was cool. Something prickly just like me.

“Colt…thank you.” She smiled warmly at him, and butterflies erupted in his stomach.

He shrugged casually. “It’s nothing. Just a trinket, but…maybe it’ll bring you some luck.”

Taking her hand again, they follow Logan up to the door. He knocked, and a moment later the door swings open to reveal some food truck guy Colt had seen around every now and then.

“Logan! It’s been a minute, cuz.” He steps forward to give Logan a hug but stops short when he sees his expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Can we lay low out here for the day?” Logan asked.

“Course. Come in.”

The guy leads them inside. He takes in Ellie’s prom dress. “You wanna tell me what’s goin on?”

Mother fucker better not be checking her out ever again. I’ll forgive the dress, because it’s odd she’s still in it, but next time…

“The less you know, the better.” Logan informed.

“You at least gonna tell me who this dude is?” He points to Colt, and he fists his hands, agitated. Seriously?

“That’s Kaneko’s kid. And you remember Ellie.”

Kaneko’s kid?? I have a name!!!

“Colt.” He said flatly.

“Hey, Vaughn. Sorry for intruding.” Ellie shot him a Look, and he shrugged slightly. Whatever, it’s my name.

“Nah, it’s cool. Get comfy, change outta those threads…”

“Thanks. We’ve got some planning to do.”

“Well, hang on just one second. You can stay here, but I need something in return.”

Naturally

Logan’s face fell. “You do?”

Vaughn turns away, walking to the kitchen counter. “You might be my cousin, but nothing in life is free. You gotta do me a favor.”

“What?” Logan asked hesitantly.

“You gotta taste test my new dishes for my truck.” He turns back around with a tray of fresh, eclectic street food.

Logan grinned. “I think we can manage that just fine…”

Colt’s mouth immediately started watering, and as they discussed their plan, they scarfed down amazing food.

Hours later, the sun sets outside, and the showdown with the Brotherhood draws nearer. After planning every last detail of the night, the four of them are passing time half-watching TV in Vaughn’s living room.

Ellie keeps looking at the clock. Logan nudges her. “There’s nothing we can do but wait.”

Colt slid his eyes over to her. She looks just as nervous as I feel. I need an outlet. We both do.

Ellie gave a half smile. “I know, I just…I feel like I need to do something now. Get all this anxious energy out so it doesn’t distract me later.”

“I know how you feel.” Colt clenches and unclenches his fist, over and over and over again.

“You can lie down in my spare room for a bit, Ellie.” Vaughn offered.

Right. Mr. Nice Guy. No wonder Logan brought us here.

“Thanks, Vaughn. I think that’ll help.”

“We’ll get you when it’s time.” Logan assured.

She nods, the heads toward the hall, she pauses in the doorway, looking back at them. Colt catches her eye from across the room.

Come on, Ellie, bring me with you, I know exactly how to get out all our frustrations.

“Colt, could I talk to you for a minute?” She asked.

Yesssss. Shove it, Logan. She wants to fuck me, not you. I win.

Colt shrugs, not showing his excitement, and follows her down the hall to the bedroom. He closes the door behind them, then leans against it casually. “Did you actually want to talk, or…?”

“No.” Ellie wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into a passionate kiss. He pulls back to smirk. “Not even dirty talk?”

“Colt!” She slaps his shoulder playfully, but then he captures her mouth with his. Their embrace is heated, insistent. He walks her back toward the bed, his hands running all over her body, under her clothes…

“Colt…”

He can feel his kisses make her dizzy, his touch alone sets her on fire. Something tells him they’re both barely on the edge of control.

This feeling…what is this feeling….it feels like…I can’t control myself around this woman, I need to consume her. She’s mine and I’m hers and this is forever.

“Ellie, what’re you doing to me?”

“Hopefully making you feel really, really good.”

He groans into her mouth, pulling her flush against his hard body. “Yes…Can you feel how good you make me feel?”

He thrusts his hips into her, letting her feel how hard he is. He wants to plunge his cock inside her. His lips travel down her neck, nipping and licking at her exposed skin. His hands slide under her sweatshirt, and she arches into him.

“Colt…take it off” She says breathlessly.

As you wish. He doesn’t need to be asked twice. He quickly pulls her sweatshirt over her head, then unbuttons her jeans and pushes them down her hips, and she quickly shakes them off. He pulls her back into his arms, her bare skin rubbing against his still-clothed body.

“Not…fair…” She moans as he caresses every inch of her exposed skin.

He licked his lips, unable to stop the smile appearing on his lips. “If you want me outta my clothes, all you gotta do is ask.”

She tugs on his leather jacket, pulling it off one shoulder. “Off. Now.”

Colt pulls back to take off his clothes, throwing them haphazardly across the room. “Better?”

“Much.”

The two of them settle back on the bed together. He pulls her in for another searing kiss, his body flush against hers. He squeezes her ass and knows exactly how he wants her.

“Don’t stop” She begged.

“Wasn’t planning to. Come here.” He nudges her onto all fours, facing away from him. He kisses her spine, making her shiver

“Colt stop teasing…”

“But I love when you moan my name.”  And now you’re gonna fucking scream it.

He glides his hands down to her hips with a featherlight touch, a whimper escaping her mouth, then guides himself into her tight, wet slit. He grunted as he began to thrust in and out of her, his need for her consuming them both as she puts a hand on the headboard to steady herself as he moves faster and faster.

“Colt..oh, god…”

So fucking tight. So fucking perfect, This body…I love this body, she feels so good wrapped around my dick. Where the fuck has she been my whole life?

He can no longer contain himself. He swivels his hips just so, pulling on her hair so she leans more backwards and together they fall apart. He shot his hot sperm into her as her sweet pussy drank it up, milking him completely. The two of them collapse on the bed together, a tangle of sweaty limbs.

She snuggled into his arms and he kissed the top of her head gently. After a few minutes, they caught their breaths.

“We’re gonna have to do this soon, aren’t we?” She whispered into his chest.

Colt runs his hands up and down her arm in a soothing pattern. “Whatever the Brotherhood throws at us, we’re ready.”

She flips over to face him. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

He runs his thumb over her cheek, gazing deep into her eyes. “Only if you promise me the same thing.”

I know you. You’re just like me. Both of us do what needs to be done.

She sighed. “…This whole plan is kinda stupid, isn’t it?”

He kisses her forehead. “Maybe, but it’s the best we’ve got.”

Logan knocks. “We got the call. We’re in. It’s go time.”

Colt kisses her one last time before getting up and pulling on his clothes. “I’ll let you get ready.” She just nods, and he leaves the room.

Joining Logan and Vaughn in the living room, both men were giving him death stares. Alright. Guess Logan told Vaughn I stole her away from him. Which I did, so…fuck off losers.

Steps sound in the hallway and they all look up to see her.

“Oh, damn.” Vaughn’s eyes were wide.

“I’m ready.” She announced.

“You sure look like it. Logan’s jaw was practically on the floor.

Colt eyes her ravenously, soaking in her appearance. He really likes the red leather coat. “I already feel better about our chances.” You look bangin’.

Logan tosses her her keys and she catches them out of the air. “Let’s go.” She pulls out her phone, powering it on for the first time in a while…and dial a number. She presses speakerphone, so they can all hear.

“9-1-1 emergency, what is your location?”

“My name is Ellie Wheeler. I want to turn myself in.” There’s silence on the other end for a moment.

“Alright, what is your location Miss Wheeler? We’ll send someone to come pick you up.”

“There’s only one person I’ll speak to. Detective Wheeler. Have him meet me at the Pacific Division station. I’ll be there soon.”

“Miss, if there’s…”

She hangs up the phone. “Clock’s running.”

They all walk outside to where her car is parked at the curb.

Logan grabs her hands. “You’re sure I can’t convince you to let me go in your place?”

She shook her head. “No. It has to be me.”

Logan’s shoulders slump a little. “I know…but a guy can hope. Just…if anything goes wrong, Ellie, look out for yourself. Run.”

Colt watches from a short distance, arms tensely folded. He just gives her a nod when she looks his way. Yes. Run, and I’ll find you to live out our lives. I promise, Ellie.

“Well. See you on the other side.” She gets into her car, shutting the door. Colt sees her put his old cactus on her dash and his heart feels like it’s going to explode of happiness…until she turns the engine on and drives out into the moonless night up the 405 toward Mar Vista.

His heart sinks as he climbs on his bike and heads for his location. Hardly any time passed when his earpiece went off, Ellie’s voice coming through.

“Logan? Colt? We’ve hooked them. They’re coming up fast in the cars we stole for them off the hauler truck.”

Logan’s voice sounds through next. “Already? Damn, they’re quicker than we thought.”

Colt narrows his eyes in frustration. “It’s too early! They’re gonna catch you before you get to the target! Step on it!”

“They’re almost on me!”

“You’re still a ways out. Hang on. I’ll be there as soon as I can!” Logan shouts into his Bluetooth.

Right. Knight in shining fucking armor. Ugh.

“Hurry up, Logan.” He spat out. “You better not let anything happen to her.”

“I got it, Colt.”

As Colt reaches his destination, he sees her rocket forward, the two cars that were at her side crashing into each other and sending debris flying.

Oh my god…my pop…he trusted her with a NOS system?? He taught her how to use it?? His heart ached at the realization of exactly how much his father cared for her and looked out for her…all because his son did.

Thanks pop. I had no idea. Thank you for keeping her safe.

She dodges another car back and forth across the lanes, barely staying out of reach.

“You’re almost there, Ellie!” He shouts into his speaker.

Come on, come on, you’re gonna make it! Just a couple more miles!

Colt whips out his burner phone and sets it up to record. He hears bare metal and looks back up, gasping. He felt like he was watching everything unfold in slow motion.

Ellie’s car stalls as her tire blows out, sending sparks flying against the pavement. Another car slams into her, sending her spinning.

“Ellie! Can you hear me? I’ll be there in a few seconds! One last go for old times’ sake?” Logan pleaded.

“One last go” It was barely a whisper, but Colt still heard it.

Ellie dodges hard to the side as Logan turns on his high beams directly in front of the Brotherhood cars.

“Ellie, go! I’ll catch up!”

“Hurry! You’re at the off-ramp!” Colt added.

She steps on the gas. “I’m almost there! I can make it…”

One of the cars in pursuit flies ahead of her and skids to a stop, blocking the exit ramp.

His heart began pounding erratically. This is looking…familiar.

Flashes of his father speeding towards the barricade and crashing his car to save the crew, to save him, swam through his head. He felt sick. She’s doing the same thing. Oh my god, please no.  

“Dammit! Okay, just stay on the freeway, Ellie!” He could hear his voice but it didn’t sound like his own. It sounded a bit higher, panicked…fearful.

“Colt, I have to get there! If I don’t, all of this was for nothing…” She argued

Colt shook his head violently, his breaths coming faster and his head starting to spin.  “There’s gotta be another way.”

“No. This is where I get off.” She said, fury and determination evident in her tone

She floors it straight towards the stopped car, while Colt fell to his knees, bile rising in his throat, shock overtaking him. No, no, no…NO!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN!!!!

He screamed, yet there was no sound. He didn’t feel attached to his body anymore. He was with his father, whom he didn’t even think loved him and yet gave his life to keep him safe. He was with Ellie, whom he had found love himself and loved him back…and was about to give her life to keep him safe. And he was completely helpless to stop either one of them. For the very first time in his life, he was terrified of losing someone he loves. He never had to think about it before his father died.

Like a missile, she crashes into the car, knocking it aside.

“Ellie!” Logan cried.

Her airbag deploys as gravity abandons her. She goes airborne off the ramp, spinning like a top. She slams down on the pavement of a wide, empty lot fifteen feet down. Colt could practically feel the metal crumpling and denting, unable to handle the impact. Her momentum sends her rolling several times until finally coming to a rest on the car’s roof.

Colt gaped at the heavily damaged car, the glass broken and scattered in all directions.

Oh my god, Ellie, what did you do?? You can’t…I don’t believe…you have to be okay. You’re all I’ve got left

Slowly he realized he was shaking uncontrollably, the phone in his hands had already dropped to the ground, his face the only thing on the screen. He became vaguely aware of Logan’s voice in his ear.

“Ellie! Ellie, can you hear me?”

A weak cough responded. “yeah…I made it to the target”

Oh my god, she’s alive. She made it. She FUCKING MADE IT!!!! MY GIRL MADE IT!!!!

“That was absolutely insane!” He finally found his voice. SHE FUCKING MADE IT!!! SHE’S ALIVE!!!

“Colt, are you in position?”

Taking several deep breaths to slow his still racing heart, he answered. “Ready and waiting by the transformer box. They’re coming up on you now.”

“Okay…*cough*…make sure to get their faces on camera.”

But she sounds so weak. She must be hurt. No has that kind of accident without getting hurt. Not even someone as crazy as her.

Headlights approach and the cars stop, doors opening, masked figures approaching the destroyed car. One of them offers her a hand helps her crawl through the shattered glass.

Jason.

Jason’s helping her to her feet when Logan approaches. Jason draws a gun, putting the muzzle to Ellie’s temple just as Logan comes around the bend. He slams on the brakes, skidding to a stop ten feet away, bathing them in his headlights. Jason’s form casts a long shadow across the lot.

She survived the crash just to take a bullet to the head? I don’t think so. We’ve come too far. Time to end this. Without thinking, Colt started marching forward, ready to kill the Brotherhood. He’s blind with rage, not seeing the woman deftly approaching him.

“Nice phone.” She snarled, snatching it away and wrenching his arms behind his back in a hold.

“Thanks. It’s insured.” He snapped back. FUCK!!!

A walkie-talkie crackled at the woman’s side.

“Hester, it’s Shaw. You find Kaneko’s kid?”

“Bringing him in now.” The lady spoke back.

“I have a fucking name, and it’s not ‘Kaneko’s kid’.” Everyone calling me Kaneko’s kid. I’m not my father, and I never will be.

Crossing the lot, Hester pushes Colt along at gunpoint. “I really don’t care.” She replied, sounding bored. She calls out to Jason. “Caught him over there trying to film us on this.” She tosses Colt’s phone onto the ground and shoots it. It shatters and sparks.

“Trying to get us on tape, huh? Get us locked up? Oh, so close.” Jason teased menacingly.

 “Good thing we wore masks. You would’ve had nothing, anyway.” The Brotherhood then peel off their masks.

“But how…did you know?” Ellie asked, her voice feigning disbelief.

Jason smirked, shaking his head. “Ellie…come on…we tapped your phone. Duh. We’re the goddamn police. I thought you would’ve figured that out by now.” He laughed.

“We heard you call 911…we heard you tell Kaneko’s kid what to do, where to be.”

“Colt!” He couldn’t stop himself, the words just slipped out angrily.

Jason rolls his eyes and steps closer to Ellie, the barrel of his gun just inches away from her head. “It’s actually kind of tragic. I thought you would’ve made a good cop, Ellie…but I was wrong. A cop always needs to think one step ahead. And now…now your dad will never know what happened to you.” He aims the gun at her, his face neutral.

“You said you didn’t want to hurt her.”

Mona. Traitor. Never trusted her.

Jason frowned. “I didn’t. But she didn’t learn her lesson. You should know, Ellie, I take no pleasure in this. We really were never that different.”

A slow smile spread on Ellie’s face. “Oh, really? I think we are.”

“How’s that?”

“The difference between you and me? Well, for one, I’m not the dumbass who just walked right into a trap.”

She really is going to be okay. There’s that snarky tone I love so much. Colt let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

“What is she talking about?” Wallace asks nervously.

Jason looks around, anxiousness spreading on his face. He looks far across the lot…to the façade of Mar Vista High, and the dozens of CCTV cameras on the streetlamps.

“Say cheese, asshole.” Logan grinned.

Jason’s eyes went wide. “No…”

Gotcha   “Go ahead. Wave to Toby and Ximena.”

Inside the school’s AV club, Ximena grins, her voice ringing loud and clear in the parking lot. “We got ‘em”

“In crystal clear high definition.” Toby agreed.

“Shaw…what just happened?” Hester’s voice raised a few octaves.

“I…”

“Always gotta stay one step ahead, isn’t that right, Jason?” Ellie asked sweetly, winking at Colt. He smiled at her before directing his gaze back at Jason and the other two members of the brotherhood.

That’s right asshole. No one messes with my crew.

�� @annekebbphotography @gardeningourmet @zigortega4life @eileendannie @thequeenofcronuts @drakewalkerfantasy @friedherringclodthing @coffeebeandragon @drakewalker04 @alesana45 @mfackenthal

@i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction

@rhymesmenagerie

[magic-owl]

i wish these had numbers to not take up room but alas: what is your absolute favorite ship? what’s a ship you like that most people don’t? what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion? (choose any of your fave pairings for the following bc I'm curious about all your faves) rate [pairing] from 1-10 and explain why. what’s your favorite headcanon of [pairing]? what’s your favorite canon moment of [pairing]? favorite AU ideas for [pairing]? what song(s) remind you of [pairing]?

Thank you my dear! You are my Star Wars Friend so I’ll keep it SW focused (if you wanted to ask this to solely find out what else I liked BESIDES SW sorry lol just let me know and I can redo it). This got long because turns out I have a lot to say about my ships so answers under the cut!!! xD

Absolute favorite ship: This one’s kinda hard but I’m gonna have to go with Obi Wan/Anakin! I also like them a lot as a trio with Padmé, but overall I gotta say these two are just my faves? Why? Because they are such a M E S S and gosh I just love them so much. Ppl say they don’t like each other very much but come on, have you watched the TCW, have you watched RotS, they’re the greatest team there ever was, they’re constantly fretting and worrying about each other, they’re always teasing (the constant banter omg boys pls) at each other and hyping the other up and believing in each other and Ahsoka literally calls them her adoptive guardians in the Ahsoka novel, that’s how much of a family they were and ugh they’re just so married. And they’re such a TRAGEDY and it breaks my heart and it’s delicious to watch because in the final fight it’s just heartbreaking betrayal because through it all they love each other so much and that’s WHY they’re so furious with each other because to them it feels like the ultimate betrayal. Even after (when after everything, Obi Wan still loved Anakin too much to kill him himself) they’re constantly on the other’s mind, and ugh the pain hurts but in such a good way, and how in the end Anakin did the right thing and Obi Wan was RIGHT THERE to help guide him back to the light in spirit and now they can rest happily together for eternity (with some spare stressing about, ya know, Kylo Ren and the impending return of Sidious, but never mind all that). and on top of that, it’s my fave because I also absolutely love their relationship platonically as well, as much as I LIKE to see them together, it’s not necessary for me because they have such an enjoyable dynamic. *coughs* Sorry, so yea, they’re my disaster faves! 😅

A ship I like that most people don’t: See above lol. I get aspects of the Obikin ship can be problematic in the whole power dynamic and age difference thing, but I’ve only ever shipped it after Anakin was knighted as an adult when there’s literally not a problem with it (it was weird for me because I watched the prequels totally out of order. I actually saw the TCW cartoon FIRST and then I saw RotS and then I didn’t watch the first two for a while after that because I was a fool and listened to prequel bashers who said the first two weren’t good, so when I started shipping them as adults that was all I saw them as). To be honest, for the most part the PT fandom is done with the drama since ya know, like a good half of the SW general fandom still hates us, so no one’s really vocal about not liking it and our shipping community is mostly left to ourselves, but every once in a while I’ll come across a joke post/fanart of the two and OP will be all snarky in the notes like “tag as a ship and I’ll come after you with my spiked bat” (someone’s exact words btw) and it’s like ok jeez, do not interact then, was minding my own business dude...

My most underrated ship: Hmmmm....... Gonna have to go between Luke/Ezra and Satine/Padmé. Skybridger I understand since they’ve literally never met in canon, but come ON, they’d get along like a house on fire and argh they should have met, it would be great. I honestly don’t get why Pads and Satine aren’t more of a thing (THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE AN OFFICIAL SHIPNAME ;_; ) cuz c’mon they’re the subtler explosive yin to Obi and Ani’s wildfire yang. They get along great and work together really well, and they both seem to have a type. I am doing them a little better in my new OT4 fic, and I hope ppl like it!!! Ya know what, I’m also gonna add Kaeden (cute girl from the Ahsoka novel!) and Ahsoka because even if a lot of ppl actually ship them, they hardly have any content and neED MORE DANGIT THEY WERE SO CUTE!!!!!!!

Gonna go with Obikin for all the following ones cuz I haven’t had the chance to gush about my boys in a while and you’ve opened Pandora’s box

Rate them from 1-10: 10, plus a hundred more points because I love them, then subtract that hundred again cuz Anakin is an gotdang idiot who ruined it and now they both make me cry. My scoring reasons are that they make me feel all the emotions and I love them Ever So Much and argh.

Fave headcanon: Oh boy, I’ve got a couple actually!

Whenever they’re talking/arguing over the phone, they’re always subconsciously mirroring each other’s actions even when they can’t see what the other is doing. It’s kinda creepy because you’ll hear yelling and it’ll look like one of them’s talking to an invisible person in front of them when it’s actually each other.

There has been multiple instances of them both getting injured in battle because they were distracted watching the other be a total badass (not that either will admit it)

Neither of them are morning people. AT ALL. Obi Wan actually has self-discipline and is able to get up with an alarm and crankily drag them both up, but both are almost impossible to deal with until they’ve had caffeine in them, and it’s been established that unless you want to risk murder, neither of them talks in the morning until caffeine has been provided.

There has been many, many cases of accidentally taking the other’s robe and not realizing it but thinking to themselves that said robe feels more comforting than usual today.

A mutually drunken arm wrestling match absolutely turned into a mutually drunken makeout once. Neither can remember it, and they wonder why some of the clones have been acting funny all week.

Half of the Temple thinks they’re already dating.

Ok I’ll stop it here

Fave Canon Moment: Ughhh, this is HARD. I really like the “any closer and you’d be kissing it” line in TCW, basically any moment in TCW when one of them refers to Ahsoka as “OUR padawan”, the extra long stares and unnecessary touches they give each other in TCW, the elevator scene in RotS movie (THE NOVEL MAKES IT A MILLION TIMES BETTER), also in RotS the way Anakin is half-ready to straight up fight Palpatine when he suggests leaving Obi Wan behind to die, the RotS “No loose wire jokes” bit, the RotS “Roger. Roger.” bit (OKAY JUST THE WHOLE FIRST HALF OF THIS RIDICULOUS MOVIE), the way Vader built his big stupid castle where they had their breakup, the way he’s constantly mentioning Obi Wan when the convo wasn’t even about him, seeing them together again at the end of RotJ (whoops you asked for one, you get MANY SCENES)

Fave AU ideas: Again, there’s a couple!

Superpower AU: Can’t decide whether I’d put this in canon or modern. Most powers in this AU are stolen from inspired by X-Men, DC, and other popular media, so I’m torn between Anakin having Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix style powers while Obi Wan had a variation on Rogue’s with additional energy manipulation. OR it would be a thing where Anakin could commune with the dead a la Klaus from Umbrella Academy while Obes had sort of Avatar-style wind/flight powers. (Both are relevant for different plots).

Sith AU: I know these are far from unpopular in the SW fandom, but the way I’d do it would be to try and write two stories at once, update one every other week so one update a week total. The stories would what would happen if either of them became the Sith Apprentice after the events of Episode 1, and how their dynamic would be during Ep 2 and The Clone Wars with one of them on the other side. It’s funny because the way I’ve plotted it, the Sith!Ani fic would have very big Good Omens vibes, while the Sith!Obi one would have very strong Under the Red Hood vibes, so two VERY different dynamics going on xD

WWII Spies: This is one I 100% plan to write someday, even tho it is a very long time from now. It’s basically following Anakin as an American naval pilot who got injured in a crash and discharged. He still wants to serve and eventually his talent gets him into the intelligence end of the war and sent to Europe where he meets Ben, who’s been working with British intelligence since it broke out, and sparks fly. I’m kind of cheating here cuz as of now this is an Obianidala story, not just Obikin, but it’s one I’m very excited for

Phantom of the Opera AU: This idea I had when I realized that Anakin as Vader is kinda a Lot like the Phantom, but he’s also a Lot like Christine too. So it turned into Anakin as a talented ballet dancer getting preyed on by Palpatine!Phantom (there is NO romance there, Palpy is a total creep and will be treated as such) with Obi Wan as a combination of Raoul and Madame Gery and I have a bunch of ideas and idk if it’s gonna be an actual thing, but I want it to.

Shapeshifter AU: Canon, not very complicated but they can all shift into animals. Obi Wan is a kind of cougar panther cat with a fluffy ginger tail, and Anakin is a big grumpy black Krayt Dragon with a stump for a front leg.

Not A Jedi!AU: One in canon in which set like the Sith!AU, two different stories exploring how their dynamic would be if one of them wasn’t found by the Order. As of now, I’ve got Anakin as the warrior pirate prince of Tatooine, after having grown up and staged a slave rebellion, then promptly put his mother on the throne, and Obi Wan’s there to negotiate something during TCW and things happen. For the Obi Wan one, he’s a political journalist and war correspondent who keeps on running into Anakin’s assignments and popping up where he’s stationed and Anakin has to keep this idiot from getting himself killed/stop asking me annoying questions that criticize the Jedi and the government.

Dark!AU: A kind of morbid canon divergent fic where Padmé dies early and unexpectedly (Palps didn’t plan it). Anakin goes off the rails and Obi Wan agrees to go with him on a murder vengeance roadtrip to try and keep him from Falling or the Sith from getting to him. He kinda fails and they both Fall in a way and it ends with them hunting down Sidious’ players one by one. I’m not entirely sure I want to continue with this tho because it plays strongly on the Fridged Woman trope, which I can’t stand. I’d have to figure out how to give Padmé some sort of active role after her death...

Songs to describe them: There’s a couple (I could have very well gone cranky but I decided to do (mostly) serious))(also my music taste kinda stinks)

Icarus— Bastille

Anna Sun— WALK THE MOON

Animal I Have Become— Acoustic cover by Vitamin String Quartet (original by Three Days Grace) (seriously y’all listen it’s sooooo gooooood)

Warriors— Imagine Dragons

My Demons— STARSET

Ignorance— Paramore

Set Fire to the Rain— Adele

Stubborn Love— The Lumineers

How to Save A Life— The Fray (yes i am aware it is stereotypical angst song leave me Alone it FITS)

Viva la Vida— Coldplay (tbh this fits like the entire PT but I liked it)

Raised by Wolves— U2 (another more PT-centric, but this one works dangit)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Confrontation from Les Miserables (now that ya think of it, that would be a pretty good AU too.....)

Bonus Broadway Song! : The Tango Maureen from Rent (I always imagined this one as Obi Wan and Padmé about Anakin, but it would be about something other than cheating cuz canon has established Anakin views cheating as a worse crime than murder, so yea)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (aight this one’s mostly a joke but come ON don’t tell me that’s not completely them xD)

[bigskydreaming]

In the best (personal) news I have had in oh, over a year, FINALLY got the results of the MRI back and it is NOT a tumor lurking in my nonexistent jaw joint area and causing all my Issues, as my doctor was worried about from the latest CT scans. Which, like. Yeah. I don’t really have the words for how grateful I am to hear that because like, hahahaha I was getting super tired of my rock bottoms introducing themselves to new rock bottoms, you know???

So I am currently buzzing and high on that news, life in general, and y’know, sleep deprivation, cuz ngl, it was definitely not fun hearing I should know by Monday whether or not like, I have cancer, only for that to be dragged out until freaking Friday. Hahaha what is sleep, I have had like, five hours all week maybe? Needless to say I am super behind again on work, rent, insurance and all that fun stuff BUT as long as I can say “but I don’t have cancer!” at the end of each of those things, like....yeah I’m gonna milk the fuck out of that qualifier for energy, as long as I possibly can lololol.

Did talk to my insurance ppl today though and I’ve got at least until Tuesday to pay my premiums, so got a couple more days of breathing room there. Can’t get it extended past that though because my doctor’s already gonna be calling in preauthorization requests for like, the actual surgery and stuff as early as Monday and I reeeeeally don’t want ‘okay but this dude hasn’t even paid up yet’ being a factor at all in whether or not they approve my 25K surgery.

Fingers crossed that my good luck continues to hold, as there’s a possibility this might all get dealt with once and for all, a lot sooner than I’d hoped for?? Like, cuz of the MRI she was able to get a clear view of exactly what the problem is, the inflammation around the joint and actual erosion of the bone, etc, which cut out a lot of the other steps we were preparing to take to isolate the exact issue before moving forward. It also apparently lit a hell of a fire under their asses cuz they were able to see not just that the joint is totally wrecked (which we’ve known for like, nine months now, wasn’t news), but just how badly eroded my jawbone is at like....the other point of the jaw that holds it at least somewhat connected to my skull still even though the joint itself is nonexistent? Idk not explaining that right because again, sleep deprived like whoa. 

ANYWAY. Point is my doctor was like, so basically because of the constant damage being done in that area every time you open your mouth at all, you’re fracturing it further and its only hanging on by the barest sliver at this point - which, DUH, is exactly what I’ve been telling all these doctors it felt like, for over a year BUT I DIGRESS - so she’s all, yeah, we need to move this along as fast as possible because if you erode that area much more like, she doesn’t even know what that’ll look like in practice cuz she’s never actually had to deal with a case that bad, but reading between the lines it sounds like I would just not be able to close my mouth shut at all after that point, which....lol bye bye basic eating and talking? Idk. So its super fun being the worst case of this particular issue she’s ever seen personally haha yay me (but at least I don’t have cancer!)

So. Still putting it in the win column.

But yeah, so she found another surgeon that does potentially take insurance for the actual surgery costs, if we can get my insurance to approve it, and in the meanwhile now I gotta set up appointments at this OTHER imaging place for another more specific CT scan to measure how big the prosthetic will need to be, and they don’t take insurance there at all so that’s gonna be $600 no matter what. BUT, this new surgeon has a bunch of premade prosthetics they keep on site and so there’s a possibility they might be able to fit me with a premade prosthetic that’s already the right dimension instead of having to order a custom made one. And if I can get the surgery approved by my insurance and they find a premade that works, the surgery can be set up in as little as three weeks (which omg holy shit is that a light at the end of the tunnel, IT JUST FUCKING MIGHT BE crap I totally jinxed it didnt I fuck). If they can’t find a premade that works though it’ll still be the 4-6 months to make a custom one so, boooooo, we’re really hoping that doesn’t happen, cuz, again. I do not know precisely what several months of not being able to swing my jaw shut at all even lopsidedly and thus no eating or talking....like lmao what would that even look like how do you not like, starve in that case? Idk. So....super duper hoping that we can find a premade and get the surgery scheduled quicklikearabbit and not have to wait several more months and risk just eroding whatever it is that’s still up there in that general vicinity that’s left to erode, idk, like I said what are words right now even.

YEAH. SO. That’s my status update for those who’ve been messaging and checking in and whatnot, like, y’all are rockstars and I fucking adore you and am so grateful. I am now going to go sleep the sleep of the dead because hahahahahaha ow light is actually physically painful at the moment, I just came to sit up straight at my desk and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Then its back to work for me but also I might have some fic updates??? lol. Cuz of people who’ve donated and made non-imposing requests or suggestions for things I could write and thus mitigate my OMG I Do Not Deserve Your Generosity ulcers of doom. That I’ve been writing off and on but mostly just off this last week in particular where I unfortunately did a lot of like, staring at the wall watching paint dry except not really cuz they weren’t freshly painted or whatever, look you get what I mean probably. 

Right. So. Assuming any of this makes sense to anyone and I’m not actually just stringing together nonsense series of words here at this point, still likely to be scarce for a few days to a week. Gonna leave my paypal link again, cuz I mean, yeah. I’m way more sick of posting it than anyone could possibly be of seeing my post it lolol, trust me, but hopefully there is a point now in the near(ish) future where I will once again be able to work productively and non-chronic-painfully again and thus not be in desperate need of the kindness of strangers 24/7. That would be so awesome omgwtfbbqicanteven. You don’t even know. 

But also! At least I don’t have cancer. So. I actually have a bizarre amount of energy at the moment despite being two seconds away from faceplanting into my keyboard from exhaustion. Look I dont even get how that works either. I’m nuanced okay.

I feel like there was something to write here like in conclusion or in summation or tl;dr but also fuck it, I think I literally just heard my last remaining synapse fire in my brain I gtg ttyl byyyyyyyyyyyye.

https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming?locale.x=en_US

[floppy999]

My reading list (bkdk fanfics)

Here it is!  

All these fics were updated or finished on december. (Not particular order)

Swap it out ( Not Rated )

''Good morning, Deku.'' Katsuki said happily with a sweet smile.''Fuck off, Kacchan.'' Izuku responded in a bored tone, not even looking at the blond when he sat down in the seat in front of him.The whole class held their breath.''Holy shit.'' Koji finally said. In which Kaminari has an idea, Todoroki likes to spend his father's money and Izuku and Katsuki are up for the challenge. 

Off Limits (Explicit)

When his second rut hit, Katsuki was tempted to start reconsidering Izuku being off limits. It wouldn’t be too weird, right? It’s not like they were hanging out together on their off days. While screaming into a pillow in a fit of frustration instead of rubbing himself raw, it seemed like a great idea.Once his rut started tapering off, he threw away the idea again. -Then the third rut hit, and Katsuki was officially over this bullshit. 

Cross Off (Explicit)

“But are you two really friends?”

That sharp sting hit Izuku in the gut again, but as he opened his mouth to respond, Todoroki walked past him, heading towards the exit. The dual-haired teen cocked his head to the side as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Just think about it, Midoriya. We aren’t here to tell you what to do, but we do hope that you will take our concerns under consideration, and try to convince Aizawa-sensei that his decision is not right for you.” Iida removed his hands from Izuku’s shoulders, and followed suit with Todoroki, casting a brief nod in Izuku’s direction.

Hummingbird Heartbeat ( Explicit )

“The knife went through his fucking chest, Kirishima.” Katsuki spat his name into his face, mouth twisting into a vicious snarl, teeth and all. “You know that's where his heart is, right? And his fucking lungs? All the vital shit?” Kirishima blanched. “I-I know, I just meant—” “What, you mean to tell me that your stupid fuckin’ ass is so ignorant to forget that he lost a shit ton of blood, hah?! Yeah, it was a flippin’ knife wound, oh hoo-ray, but look at the nerd now! He’s fucking dying because of it!” 

In A Sky Of A Million Stars (Who Cares If One More Light Goes Out?)  ( Mature)

He could never forgive himself.It was his fault.He’d planted the idea like a seed he’d never known would grow. (Or: What if Izuku jumped?)(OR: The one where Izuku jumps and lives and Katsuki visits him every day and Class 1-A not-so-secretly finds it adorable that their designated angry pomeranian brings flowers to his comatose childhood friend.) 

Bad at Love ( Teen And Up Audiences )

Class 1-A is put to the test in one of U.A.'s classes and tests where they face a faux-villain they can't seem to win against. During the two-day fighting, Bakugou noticeably becomes more and more shaken by the faux-villain. Midoriya wants to help him and to become his good friend once again. Bakugou knows there is more than friendship in his own head but wants to keep Midoriya close, if only to keep him safe. But with jealousy, friendships, and their dreams on the line, they have to get even closer to help the other.

The Roads Between ( Mature )

In a world with disappearing quirks, Izuku, a government employee, and the recently captured Lord Explosion Murder are forced to team up in order to stop a coup of Japan by the League of Villains. More than just their lives are on the line and teamwork is the name of the game, but how can two people so seemily different from eachother ever hope to accomplish such a task? 

Crimson Concrete  ( Mature )

Bakugou Katsuki was pretty sure he had this vampire shit down to a tee. All he had to do was stay away from the sunlight, avoid churches and not have any attachments to humans? That was literally how Katsuki had lived his life up until now- it was the exact same, except, he supposed, with higher stakes (ha, get it?)“Hey dude, does this mean you can’t eat garlic bread anymore?”Oh.OH NO.

The Space Between (Mature)

Holding his expensive camera tightly between his hands, Midoriya Izuku looked up at the once-white letters displayed on the black storefront banner. “The Hard Luck Bar,” he murmured to himself, unsure if he was getting ready to enter or flee.

Amateur photographer Midoriya Izuku is stuck in a rut and desperate for a change of pace. Deep in his city's grimy underbelly, he finds exactly what he's looking for in the form of an underground punk sensation on the verge of their big break, fronted by a foul-mouthed firework of a human being. Loud, brash and passionate, Izuku may have just found the creative spark he needed, as well as something new to set his soul ablaze.

Cinnamon Bun Bun ( Explicit )

In a world with humanoid creatures called "pets", Katsuki Bakugou finds himself suddenly the owner of a timid curly haired rabbit. How the fuck did that happen? Will the reluctant new owner and abandoned pet be the best thing for each other or will it end in disaster? Only the tags will ever know.Warm and fuzzy fluff pet AU with hints of angst and humor! *This story is mostly about fluff. Warning and "past" tags for a backstory chapter(s) almost exclusively. Will warn at the beginning of ANY chapter with ANY sensitive issues.*

Stay with me, Midoriya  ( Mature )

An alternate "conclusion" of the battle when Midoriya saves Kota during the Summer Camp attack. Or, Midoriya is badly hurt and Bakugo is the only one who heard the scream for help. 

Restless ( Mature )

Second year at UA was essentially the same as the first, though everyone had fucking been developing and growing or some such asinine shit. And Katsuki was still reigning supreme. Things were fine up until shitty Deku had to derail everything with his fucking.....fucking. This year was gonna be hell for Katsuki. 

Swarm (Explicit)

General Izuku Midoriya, a rare omega cherry bee and Second in Command to Chief All Might's army, is left to run and defend Brambleberry Hive. he never expects a swarm of vicious hornets, led by alpha general Katsuki Bakugo, to ambush them and take over the hive. Bakugo takes his place as Chief Alpha, making Izuku his prisoner and slave. But Izuku refuses to let Bakugo control him and fights the alpha every chance he gets. He will have his revenge on Bakugo and regain control of Bramberry....

my ex-man brought his new boyfriend  ( Mature )

izuku's desperate to get a date after being persuaded (forced, more like) to go for a family reunion back in his hometown, in which he will most definitely see his ex, todoroki shouto, with a date of his own.in a last attempt to find someone, izuku asks for help and ends up getting bakugou katsuki.

The Hunting Party ( Explicit )

Izuku had gotten himself into many messes over the years. He’d once got stuck in the back of a restaurant after hours because he’d been too shy to ask someone to let him out of the staff bathroom he’d locked himself into.

Painting Flowers ( Teen And Up Audiences )

Where Bakugo Katsuki works at his parents' flower shop and Midoriya Izuku is a hot regular that simply comes to sketch flowers all day long.

BNHA: Hybrid A/O/B Works ( Works:6) (Explicit / mature)

You ever fantasize about Wolf Bakugou chasing down a sweet rabbit? Or the wacky shenanigans of trying to figure out his pet's heat problems? This is the series for you, mate, and I'm always happy to provide your dosage of pure nsfw. (With too much plot)

Say you love me ( Mature )

Izuku is going through his very first break up and suffering the whiplash affects of it. He discovers he’s got a new neighbor and his name is Katsuki. They’re not the best of neighbors in the beginning but by the end of the story they will be. But basically Izuku and Katsiki end up falling in love but don’t necessarily know that they both feel the same way about one another because they’re both very slow in the feelings department when it comes to other people. But with the help of Bakugous best and only friend, Eijiro, and a lot of prolonged effort shit happens.

Lovebites ( Explicit )

Katsuki Bakugou was going to hate this summer.He thought he'd hate it because he was being forced to leave home and work for his mother's friend in a small, seaside town. He thought he'd hate it cause he was being punished for burning his room to a crisp. He thought he'd hate it because he hated change.But it turns out, he hated the Supernatural Turfwar between four species that shouldn't exist but do a whole lot more....Or The one where Katsuki is forced to move in with Inko for the summer and finds himself falling for a particular bloodsucker....

Album Title in Progress ( Explicit )

Izuku's singing makes Katsuki realize sex is Real™ and uses those feelings to make a bomb-ass(lol get it? cuz his quirk is...) album while also helping a self-doubting Izuku realize how fire his mixtape is.

A Chaotic Reunion ( Teen And Up Audiences )

Even as a villain, Izuku Midoriya's admiration for Bakugo Katsuki never faltered, even when his admiration for all the heroes in the world did. After leaving his home to join the league, Bakugo Katsuki remains his one true reason to keep going on in such a pointless life. He never expected to meet him again, especially not in this kind of situation.

The Hardships of love ( Explicit )

Katsuki has always known just exactly what he wants, that just so happens to involve a certain green-eyed boy. How will he cope when what is his suddenly goes away, only to return years later? A/O/B universe, Alpha Katsuki, Omega Izuku,

Soul Bonded ( Explicit )

Izuku Midoriya had always been told he was a beta. So why did he find himself sneaking into Kacchan's room and taking old shirts? Why did his sweaty gym clothes smell so good all of a sudden? A story in which Bakugou and Midoriya are definitely not mates, no matter what Recovery Girl and Midnight say. And they definitely, DEFINITELY don't have feelings. Nope.

Iridescent ( Mature )

After Katsuki learned Izuku’s secret about One For All, he said that things would be different from now on. The two of them learn how to stand on equal grounds and be proper rivals, and that gradually leads them to evolve into something more – or, rather, they start to realize what was there all along. Because what’s left after all the bitterness and misunderstandings are gone? Positive feelings. By the time they reach their third year, they can’t go a day without seeing each other. Eventually, they start pining over one another. Katsuki secretly works through his insecurities in order to accept his feelings for his childhood friend, but it goes haywire once he realizes that he doesn’t know how to apologize for the wrongs he has done.

Stygian Fire ( Mature )

Izuku's Quirk manifest at the tender age of five. It's strange that he would have a fire Quirk given what his mother's Quirk is, but he chalks it up to genetics on his father's side. A week later, there's a (familiar) stranger in the kitchen, and everything changes.

i packed up everything except those memories ( General Audiences )

For a long moment, they all stare at him, wide-eyed and shocked.And then Bakugou laughs and leans forward to press his mouth to Midoriya’s. “I fucking love you, ya damn nerd.”Midoriya reddens, but kisses back enthusiastically, and his lips curve into a dazed smile when Bakugou pulls away. (or, Bakugou works at a bar and Midoriya is the nerd that keeps him company.)

The Art of Indifference ( Not Rated )

Bakugou is used to being the center of attention- be it anger, confussion, or fear (mostly fear) everyone always gives him a reaction.Until all the sudden, Deku doesn't.  What a fucking asshole.

Wild Child ( Explicit )

Imagine Tarzan, but KatsuDeku,with wolves instead of gorillas,and with a lot more smut.

The Kiss ( Teen And Up Audiences )

Katsuki has feelings but refuses to admit it; Izuku has feelings but refuses to act on them. And just when they finally begin to understand each other, that fucks everything up. Or: What if Katsuki kissed Izuku at the end of their fight?

Full Disclosure ( Explicit )

Izuku had never wanted to protect anything as much as he wanted to protect the fire between them, even as it caught fire and consumed him. He'd gladly go up in flames if it meant getting to see Kacchan like this. Or The alternate outcome of the battle at Ground Beta and the relationship that changed because of it.

When lust prevails  ( Explicit )

Bakugou and Midoriya got into a heated argument which led to heated interactions; main pairing BakuDeku, side pairing KiriKamiEpilogue update featuring jealous Bakugou, confused Midoriya, pragmatic Todoroki, and class 1a eavesdropping the drama :DThis story is officially completed :)

Sheep in wolves clothing ( Mature )

Don’t go into the woods at night. It’s a self explanatory warning but apparently not even passing near them in a vehicle is 100% safe. Especially not when all the news stations are warning of an unknown threat. Unluckily for Izuku it’s the only route home

You Found Me Flinching In The Dark ( Mature )

Or, Izuku remained quirkless, he became a hollow depressed kid that lives his last few years of high school in a mental ward. (Updates once a month)

Go to Bed, Dumbass ( Mature )

"What the fuck are you doing here at two in the morning?" The blond male asked in a voice that was closer to a growl as he curled the weight he was holding."I could ask you the same question," Izuku replied with a small smile as he headed for the bench press.

Never Easy ( Mature )

Bakugou and Midoriya have known each other forever but as the years drug on their relationship became complicated and the boys found themselves barely knowing each other. Things seem dim on them ever really being friends again but when Midoriya is caught in an awkward situation by Bakugou, things start to change, and both males seem skeptical about getting their hopes up. This does not start out Mature, but will have Mature parts. I will warn you and you can skip them if you like.

Grief Counseling ( explicit)

A slowburn fic where Kacchan tries to convince Deku to take advantage of the grief counseling provided for free to heroes experiencing their first failed rescues. Lots of flirting. Healing their relationship comes first. The romantic bit where they fall helplessly and stupidly in love comes after.

"Streetcar Named Desire" ( Explicit )

If yesterday someone told Izuku that he, one of the most diligent students with the top academic ranking, would end up in Principal Aizawa’s office today, he wouldn’t have believed them. But lots things could change overnight. So here he was, slouching in the creaking chair in the reception in front of the principal’s office. [the story about how Deku and Kacchan ended up taking part in a school's play and went through high school shit and ended up in love]

Unseemly Beasts ( Teen And Up Audiences )

Dragons. Destructive beasts tearing through everything in their path and deadly to anyone who opposes them. Midoriya has never seen a dragon, never planned to, but now he needs the help of one. He just... didn't want to kill one. Not if he could help it.

Rivals with Benefits ( Explicit )

When Izuku gets drunk at a Class 1A Halloween party he accidentally outs himself. Then to make matters worse he confesses to Katsuki that he wants to be a little more than rivals.

2,645 Miles ( Explicit )

Izuku wants so badly to get to the other side of the country without his parents realizing he's missing. He just wants to find out who he is.Katsuki is desperate to make it to Los Angeles without being caught by the police, desperate to fix his mistakes.Neither know what to expect, but on a roadtrip across the U.S. involving four fugitives, two oblivious runaways, a high risk crime ring, and a police taskforce, the two will discover that there's more in store for them than what they originally thought.

Dragon's Mark ( Mature )

Katsuki Bakugou has been living on his own for many years, accompanied by a very annoying red dragon named Kirishima. They are the last of their kind, unknown to humans. At least, that was how it used to be until a shy boy by the name of Izuku Midoriya enters the picture.

Breaking Point ( Mature )

“Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.” 

[letstrysomefanfic]

I Thought We Already Weren’t PART 2 (Peter Parker x Reader Angst)

Request: anonymous asked: Ooh I love angst!! Can you do something where the reader has a huge crush on peter but he likes Liz and he asks her out on date and he asks the reader for help with everything so she basically plans the whole thing for him and he keeps saying things like “wow ur such a good friend” and out of jealousy she asks Flash on a date and they start to go out and Peter says he’s not good enough for her and they get into a huge argument and deicde it’s better if they stop being friends…

Word Count: 1,386

Warning: angst (yay), dating Flash (is that a warning?)

A/N: IT’S HERE!!! the much anticipated, highly demanded PART 2!! omygod i cannot express how EXCITED AND THRILLED i was to see how much you guys loved the first part. i was honestly so surprised and holy crap i didn't expect it to blow up that much and that quickly! you guys have no idea how much that meant to me and just thank you for loving it ❤️❤️❤️

anyway this is much shorter than the first part, because i actually got an idea so this can be a sort of set up to a possible 3rd part???? also there’s this one part/line in here that i’m especially proud of cuz it’s especially sad/angsty and i decided to be evil like that haha sorry (not rly) but i’m curious to see if you guys can pick out which line it is.

thanks again SO MUCH to the anon who requested this, this was such a good request ❤️❤️❤️ (pls reveal yourself to me if you can so i can spam you with much love and thanks)

Part 1   Part 3

You tucked your hands under your arms as you anxiously waited by the curb. The crisp night air was brushing against your face. You checked your watch for probably the thousandth time. Even though there were still a good five minutes until seven, a different kind of cold began to grow in your stomach. The confidence you had when you started this mess was nowhere to be found.

What if he didn’t show up? You must look like such a hopeful idiot, waiting here on the curb in the nicest shit you could dig up from your mediocre closet. Maybe you overstepped yourself. What if you were seen as desperate? So desperate that you asked out the biggest ass in school?

This was a mistake you thought. I should just go back upstairs. He’s probably not even gonna show up anyway. But what if he does? Better I reject him rather than the other way around I guess? He does need a bit of rejection in his life.

You glanced down at your watch again. Two minutes. You’d wait here two minutes more. Give Flash at least one minute past seven, then that’s it. If he wasn’t here, you were going back up. You’d have to find some other way to distract yourself.

Just as you thought this, a flash of silver zoomed into your vision, screeching to a halt right in front of you. Flash leaned his arm over to the passengers seat, nonchalantly tilting his head toward you.

“Someone ask for a hot date?” he smirked, one eyebrow raised.

“I asked to be wowed,” you scoffed, reaching for the car door. Still unsure if you were going to regret this or not, you fastened your seatbelt. You didn't hear Flash’s reply as an odd feeling washed over you, like you were being watched. You glanced around uneasily, but passed it off as maybe you were just really really nervous. “Let’s just get this show on the road, shall we?”

Unbeknownst to you, as the convertible peeled away, a figure leapt from a roof, swinging a safe distance behind it.

Peter watched grimly from the rooftop across the street as you turned back to smile and wave. He was relieved that there no sincerity in it at all. However, even with that comfort, he still couldn’t believe you had actually gone through with it. You had actually gone on a date with Flash. Goddamn fucking Flash.

He waited a little while after he saw the light turn on in your bedroom window. He did feel a little guilty for ‘tagging along’ the whole night. But it was for your safety, because he still cared, that’s all. Well maybe it was a little more than ‘just caring’, but he refused to acknowledge any more than that as he fired a web, headed home.

Those good ol’ crappy Monday blues washed over you as you yawned, lazily shutting your locker. Trudging to the cafeteria, you met Ned along the way.

“So,” he prodded, “how was it?”

You shrugged, “It was distracting.”

“Like actually? Like you didn’t think about you-know-who at all?”

“No, keep your voice down!” you hissed. “But yeah it surprisingly was really distracting, acting interested in his lavish, spoiled-brat life. The food helped too; it was all soooooo good.”

“Damn. Expensive though?”

“Hoooo yeah.”

“So, what? Are you gonna do it again since it worked? Is it even worth it?”

“Probably,” you replied. You felt a little guilty, using someone like this (even if it was Flash). As soon as you both had sat down at your usual spot, that raspy voice plopped down next you.

“Hey there, beautiful,” Flash leaned his elbow on the table, trying to appear cool.

You had to keep from laughing. “Hey, Flash,” you dragged out each vowel, hoping you didn’t sound too annoyed.

“So… Friday… I’d say you were pretty wowed, weren’t you?” Pausing from pulling out your lunch, you dramatically cocked your head, thinking. You could feel Peter’s eyes on you from two tables away.

“A little,” you sighed, turning to face Flash. “Your choice in venue was the only thing that really wowed me. That and the food.” He raised an eyebrow. “I dunno, I guess I just expected a little more, considering how much you boast about you being such a ‘great date’—”

“Hm, not easily impressed I see,” he squinted at you. “Wouldn’t have pegged you for the picky type, (Y/N).”

You chuckled, smirking, “You’d be surprised, Flash.” You met his eyes, silently challenging him. Knowing there was no way your confession of ‘not being wowed’ didn’t offend him, you waited for his offer.

“Well, I got a sort of reputation to uphold, and I can’t have anyone less than impressed at my… wooing skills,” he began. Ned had to stifle a snort, averting his eyes from Flash’s glare. It was painfully obvious how suave he trying to appear. “How’s about same time this Friday?”

You raised your eyebrows, borderline flirtatiously (gasp! something you never did unless it was unconsciously to Peter), “I expect to be wowed.”

Flash swung his legs from under the table, spinning up, “Oh, and uh, don’t worry about what to wear; I’ll send you something nice,” he called back as he strolled away.

Eyebrows raised, impressed and somewhat uneasy, you turned back to Ned. He had the same expression on his face. You both exhaled, laughing in shock.

“Damn, (Y/N), I didn’t know you had game!” Ned snickered. “Got Flash frickin Thompson wrapped around your finger!”

A heat crept to your cheeks as you slapped his arm, hissing, “Dude!”

As you giggled, you caught a quick sight of those warm doe eyes out of the corner of your own. Instantly your cheeks fell and your lips pursed into a grimace. That blunt stabbing gnawed your gut. In that one short millisecond, you both connected for the first time in months through the same unacknowledged agony and heartache. Peter had quickly averted his gaze but you had already seen it. That sadness, that anger, and was that… regret? Everything you saw in him, you were all too familiar with.

Peter turned to Liz with a small grin that didn’t reach his eyes. He wasn’t just jealous; he was hurting. Just like you were. But you realized you didn’t feel the satisfaction you were craving. Peter was wearing that face that so often would cause you to immediately be ready to fight whoever/whatever made him like that. And now it was because of you. Hanging your head down, you felt the guilt settle in your stomach, wishing you hadn’t brought that upon him.

If Peter had laser vision, Flash head would have two eye-sized holes in them.  “I’ll send you something nice.” That phrase echoed in Peter’s mind. Flash couldn’t do that. He couldn’t expect to just win you over by ‘sending something nice’. He looked back at you expecting to see that classic eye roll you reserved just for that asshat. Instead you laughed. You blushed. He could only register his clenched fists; the rest of his body had gone numb. His face dropped, weighed down by what felt like betrayal and sadness.

“So I guess they’re dating now?” Liz murmured, confused. “Huh. I would’ve never seen that coming.”

Peter turned to face her, trying to focus on the amazing human sat next to him. His girlfriend. Girlfriend. Odd. That word didn’t have the same ring to it as it did a few weeks ago. He was scared to realize that Liz didn't have the same glow, either. Not like she had before. Not that she wasn’t any less beautiful, oh God no. Peter just couldn’t see her in the same light as he had when he’d so boldly and anxiously approached her that Tuesday so seemingly long ago.

Stop thinking like that, Peter told himself. None of this should be happening. He shouldn’t be experiencing what he was when he saw you. He shouldn’t be wanting to throttle Flash anymore than usual. He shouldn’t be thinking of Liz as any less than he had before. That word should have the same magical feeling to it. You and him should still be friends. Things should have never changed. There were all these things should be. But they weren’t.

Tag List

@emojit   @5-seconds-of-sarcasmm   @littlemisscaptainfandom   @emily-ily2 @insert-a-cool-username-here   @walkers-imagine   @littlefrota   @grant-valdes-holland

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[textsfromumbridge]

Accidental Break-In (E/e)

How do you accidentally break into the wrong apartment? Well, for Eponine Thenardier, it definitely involves a lot of alcohol and a friend with a similar apartment one building down. 

For @hihiyas

....

Her head hurts. 

With the amount of alcohol she’d been mainlining the night before that should not have been such a surprise. Basically, it’s karma. Drinking is a terrible way to deal with her problems, and she should not be indulging in it this much – that is what Marius would say. Actually, that is what Marius will say when he sees her on his couch for the third time this week. And it’s only Thursday – or Friday morning by now.  

Fuck, she is so going to have to face Best Friend Wrath again. 

She pulls the blanket over her head and ponders how Marius managed to find the time between work and dates with his new girlfriend (the girl she still has not met, damn it) to buy a new blanket. This one is way less scratchy than the old one. 

As the sound of feet hitting the floor reaches her sensitive ears, she takes a couple of deep breaths, trying to decrease the chances of puking all over her best friend – again – before she even gets to explain or apologize. And knowing Marius as well as she does (over ten years of friendship will do that to you), she will have to do both. 

“Nice upgrade on the blanket, dude,” she speaks from underneath said blanket. “I mean, this one has a way lower scratch factor. I approve. Also, before you see anything else that will mentally scar you, I’m not wearing pants. Again. I think R puked on them last night because they really fucking stink. Don’t worry, I’m wearing a shirt. Yours, of course, because mine was… well… fucking gross.” 

The shirt is fucking fancy, but her best friend is a fancy lawyer now, so she is only happy that he finally managed to upgrade his wardrobe to match his profession. Gone are the sweaters his grandma made – fugly as they are – and Marius has moved up in the world, to some stylish three-piece suits. She couldn’t find his college band shirts either – which was much more disappointing – so she had to sleep in a crisp white blouse. But at least it’s soft and it smells vaguely of fabric softener. 

Really, the new girlfriend has left Marius almost unrecognizable. 

“Is it safe for me to come out?” she asks, still hiding under the blanket. “Please don’t hate me too much! I promise to quit drinking so much. I swear on my mother’s life. I hate my mom, I know, but I really don’t want her dead. So, I swear!”

Still there is no response from Marius. And even though her best friend is an awkward little shit, he is not usually so quiet, even on a Friday morning. Something is wrong. 

So she peeks, dropping the blanket from her face inch by inch, hoping that she has not interrupted some kind of sexy interlude between Marius and his special lady friend – because she does not want to see that freckled ass again. 

“What the fuck?” she makes her own head hurt with that screech. 

The man staring down at her, holding a baseball bat in his nicely muscled arms – JFC, focus Éponine – is most definitely not her best friend. He is not wearing the ugly flannel pajamas Marius always wears to bed, and he doesn’t have those adorable freckles that almost match Marius’ slightly ginger hair. This guy is taller than her best friend, with slightly wavy blond hair kept in a short ponytail at the base of his neck. His eyes are narrowed, so she can’t really tell what color they are. He looks furious with her. 

“My head hurts,” she groans, gently sitting up. “I don’t know where Marius is, but I’m sure he’s around. Or you can leave a message. I’m going back to sleep.” 

She pulls at the blanket again, only to stop when her bleary eyes catch sight of something that she certainly did not notice when she climbed the fire escape last night: there is a gorgeous cabinet where the TV should be. It’s all vintage looking and she has got to ask Marius where he got the damn thing. 

Only, not a single place of furniture in the apartment looks familiar. The couch is much more comfortable – and probably much more expensive – and she is clutching the softest blanket that has ever touched her skin. There are bookcases everywhere, made of dark wood, and some of the cases are in the exact spot where Marius keeps his stupid PlayStation – even though she beats him every time, he still likes to play. 

He would never get rid of that damn thing, not for any girlfriend. 

Well fuck. 

“I broke into the wrong apartment, didn’t I?” she wants to facepalm badly. 

How did that even happen? Sure, she was pretty damn drunk, but she cannot have been drunk enough to enter the wrong apartment. She knows the route to Marius’ place by heart, and the window was slightly open as usual. Keys are too complicated when she’s drunk, because she has ruined many a key or a lock with drunken stupidity. It’s why Marius refuses to give her a new one until she gets her life together. 

“Who are you?” the blond guy is still gripping the bat tightly. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know Marius Pontmercy?” she avoids the topic. “Cuz I really thought this was his place.” 

Giving her name to a stranger is a bad idea, but this stranger could get her into a lot of trouble, seeing as she basically broke into his apartment and helped herself to some of his stuff – she is wearing his seriously high-quality shirt, and nothing else. It is making her feel kinda sexy, to be honest, and that is not a feeling she usually relates to hung-over mornings. But her legs are bare and tanned as she slips them from underneath the soft blanket – and she watches this stranger get more and more flustered as she reveals more and more skin. 

She’s got some kickass legs, so she’s gotta flaunt them – not just to distract the cutie from filing charges, but also because she doesn’t often get to feel this sexy. The urge to vomit has pretty much passed, so she has no problems standing up, facing the stranger with what she hopes is a sultry smile on her face. 

“But I really like this a lot better than facing an angry best friend,” she grins. 

With a final peck to his cheek, she is out the door, holding her stinking clothes at a distance, hoping to figure out how she ended up at the stranger’s apartment. And trying to figure out how she can ‘accidentally’ end up there again. 

e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e

Her drinking habits have improved a little after that night – ‘cause she’s sure the next stranger won’t be so nice about it. She kinda wants to keep her record as clean as it’s gonna get, so anymore accidental break-ins would not be a good idea. 

Seriously, if she’s ever gonna finish up grad school (so fucking expensive), she’ll have to stay on the right side of the law. Seriously, no one is gonna trust her with kids if her record gets any worse than it already is. Some minor infractions from her wild teenage kicks aside, she’s being doing pretty well. She shouldn’t fuck that up. 

So she only goes out drinking on weekends now, and she takes either Marius or his new girlfriend – who knew he was dating her old foster sister? – with her as a chaperone, to make sure she gets home safe and doesn’t flash any more strangers her panties. 

Though she doubts that apartment guy minded all that much. 

She was wearing her good panties and everything; the ones without tears or holes in them, the ones that make her skin look tan and gorgeous. So if he did get an eyeful when she hightailed it the hell out of there…. Well, she committed a stupid crime, but she did look gorgeous when making her escape. At least there’s that. 

Really, she’s been waiting for the cops to arrive at her place every day now, and it’s been about a week without so much as a word. No flashing lights or angry beat cops, no hostile knocks on the door – at least not from anyone looking for her. Her roommate has managed to piss off some sorority girls, which was entertaining for a little while. 

Since they’re both grad students, they should not be involved in this petty shit. But it’s just so fucking entertaining. 

So it’s with a bounce in her step that she walks into the seriously boring office building that happens to house the law firm Marius works for. Sure, in a few years she might work in a boring office of her own, but there’d better be some really fucking awesome decorations to make things bearable. 

There’s a ridiculous amount of security present, but they don’t make her feel a damn bit safer about Marius’ employment at a firm that has a reputation for taking on controversial cases. She sneaks past all the men with ease, making a note to tell Marius that the lobby is totally not safe. At all – because let’s be real, if a retired petty thief can sneak past these people, dangerous people can do so as well. 

On her way upstairs, she takes a flying leap into a mostly empty elevator of which the doors are about to close. She makes it just in time, landing against a hard surface that feels surprisingly like a man’s chest. 

Her good day just turned into a great one. 

“Thanks for catching me,” she grins before extricating herself. 

“It’s you!” the man in question speaks. 

She looks up – well fuck! It is the guy from last month, the one whose apartment she broke into during her quest to get drunk every single night of the week. That epic quest had to be discontinued after that night – because breaking and entering is bad, mmkay? 

“Shit,” she is eloquent as usual. 

This kind of coincidence is ridiculous? What even are the odds of running into him a second time, especially a second time when looking for Marius? She is sure one of Marius’ brainiac friends could calculate that for her. But that’s so not the point, because right now she just really needs an exit plan. 

Getting arrested again would be really bad – it would ruin the excellent streak she’s been on since she started being a good girl in senior year of high school. 

“Please don’t have me arrested,” she decides to just come out with it. 

They are the only two people in the elevator, and she only has about seven floors to convince him. And since this elevator is shooting up way too fast, that does not leave her with that much time to get persuasive. 

“It was an accident,” she tells him, hands moving frantically. “Your apartment is like, exactly where my friend’s is, only one building to the left. Total drunken accident!” 

With one eye on the doors, she tries to guess just how much time she has left before she can make her escape. Ten seconds? Fifteen? Maybe twenty if she is really unlucky and other people need to join them in awkwardness. 

When the elevator finally stops on the right floor, she jumps out, trying not to trip over her own feet as she makes her escape. 

Guess this is the last time she’ll pick up Marius at work. 

e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e

Supposedly the guest lecturer is this brilliant mind who graduated from high school at age 16 and managed to get through college and law school so fast that he’s one of the best and the brightest in the law world before his thirtieth birthday. Nobody is telling her his exact age, but he should not be that much older than the students. 

And while she hopes the class is actually interesting, she mostly just hopes that the guy is hot. She needs someone else to think about other than the guy whose apartment she broke into – she should not still be thinking about how hot he was and about his shirt that is still hiding in her closet. 

Yeah, she might actually keep that, like the pathetic weirdo she is. 

Anyway, so, this guest lecture. She doesn’t technically have to be here, but she figures her presence might appease the professor – because she’s been a bit absent in classes lately. She blames the guy she burgled. The shirt totally counts as stealing. 

That just makes it worse. Great. 

“Welcome everyone,” the professor wears a smug grin. “I want to introduce Gabriel Enjolras, graduate of this very university and now a prominent lawyer at Chandler, Finn, and Smith. He will be speaking today on his experience with family law.” 

She looks up just in time to see familiar eyes boring into hers – of course it’s the same guy she was just thinking about. Of course she actually accidentally broke into the apartment of a sort of famous lawyer. Well, fuck. 

There goes her career. 

“Thank you for having me, professor Mendez,” he has to acknowledge their leader. “I know that the details of law might not be to your particular interest in this class, but I will try to focus on the cases that be most relevant to you as a class.” 

Now she has to remain focused on this lecture – because she really is interested in family law – while hoping she can escape immediately after this class. And at the same time, she has to try not to be too obvious about her drooling over his stupid physique that she should not be focusing on. 

Seriously, somehow she noticed his looks that first time, and apparently her drunken/hung-over memory is much better than she ever imagined it to be, because she has been unable to get him out of her head ever since that moment. The wavy hair, still in a ponytail. The eyes that might be gray or blue depending on the light. 

He is still the same and she can’t stop staring like a stupid, naïve high school girl.  

Maybe she should just get all the staring done while she still can – she doubts that the police officers he is undoubtedly sending her way after this will be as visually appealing as he is. Shit, she is so totally fucked, and not in the good way. 

e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e

When she finds him in her favorite chair at her favorite coffee shop, she is seriously fucking tempted to back away slowly and just go on without her desperately needed dose of caffeine. Seriously, if he hasn’t had her arrested yet, she can’t keep tempting him to do so by showing up everywhere he is. 

Not that she is doing that on purpose, but karma is a fucking bitch, and she has clearly pissed off that bitch one too many times. 

But really, if she has to deal with an all-nighter for that fucking paper she should have gotten started on days ago, she is going to need that coffee. And this is the only place around that actually has decent coffee for a decent price. 

So she might just have to face the beast. 

“Funny running into you here,” she decides to just walk up to him and get the awkward encounter over with. “Enjolras, was it?” 

She does have the advantage of knowing his name when he does not know hers. Sure, giving him custody over the shirt would be going too far – it is just so damn comfy – but she is going to at least try to be nice to him. 

“Éponine,” he acknowledges her and she tries not to look too flabbergasted. 

It is taking everything for her to keep her mouth shut and not ask him just how he knows her name. As far as she knows, they are complete strangers. Heck, the only reason she knows his stupid name is because he is semi-famous in his field. There are no such honors attached to her name, so it makes absolutely no sense for him to know anything about her other than her terrible drinking habits. 

“Well, I think we’ve moved past mere coincidence at this point,” she waves at ‘Chetta behind the counter, trying to keep things light and pleasant. “Once is awkward, two is a coincidence, and three is a pattern. We’re at accidental meeting number four.” 

Maybe they should just talk things through, get the awkwardness – and inevitable arrest – out of the way. Because if things keep going like this, next week she is going to find him in her dorm room, talking to her roommate like they’re old friends. That is how Bizarro World her life has gotten since she first met him. 

“I doubt this will be the last one,” Enjolras looks her in the eye ever so briefly before looking away again. “I do work at the same firm as your friend Marius. I assume our paths are bound to cross again because of him.” 

She can be civil if he is too – well, shit, not that civil is the right word here. 

“I promise not to have you arrested,” he adds, and she takes a relieved breath. 

“That’s all I ask of you,” she awkwardly quips. 

Because he damn well discombobulates her, she is off like a shot, snagging her coffee from ‘Chetta and tossing a crumpled bill at her friend that hopefully covers at least some of her outstanding bills. No time to talk, no time to even look at her friend or that damn guy again before she is out the door and on her way. 

Dwelling on how he flusters her would just be a bad idea. It’s not just the threat of arrest that was hanging over her head until now, it’s just how she can never be composed around him. 

Well, clearly she’ll have to learn, because karma still has a bone to pick with her. 

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Azelma’s clunker stands out a bit in the midst of the drive-in, but they’re paying that no mind. And why would they, when Casablanca was about to start on the biggest screen they’d ever been able to watch it on? 

Of course, the minute the lame previews start and her attention starts to drift, she spots a familiar figure a few cars over. His blonde hair is still in that ponytail, and he is dressed a little too formally for a night spent watching a movie in his car. 

He’s everywhere she is, so why not here? 

“I told Courf to meet me here,” Azelma is so very late to mention. “You won’t mind entertaining his friend, right? If he’s super boring, you can always ignore him to watch the movie.” 

Ever since Azelma and Courfeyrac (what even is his first name?) started getting serious, she’s been bailing on sister time for her damn boyfriend. Really, Eponine should have known when Azelma agreed to the outing without concern for a night spent away from her boyfriend – because she wasn’t going to be apart from him. 

“Fine,” she huffs. 

At least she’ll always have Paris. 

“His name is Gabriel something,” Azelma continues. 

Seriously? Does karma hate her that much? Is that still a thing? Does she really have to run into him everywhere? 

Not that she doesn’t want to see him – she is very appreciative of the visual he presents – but to be forced to see him and have it be so awkward every single time is not really her idea of fun. Somehow she always comes across as such a complete mess when he’s around, and he seems all too put together. For once, she’d like to see him on her terms, when she’s ready for him. 

She’s sure she can make his jaw drop a time or two, leave him discombobulated for once – she can be pretty and funny and impressive. Well, for twice maybe, because she did leave him kind of stunned and in awe when she ran out of his apartment half naked. Maybe nudity is what it takes to surprise him. 

“Courf, baby,” Azelma is already all over him – no surprise there. 

Gabriel Enjolras is trying really hard to avoid getting in the way of the way too amorous reunion. Luckily for him, Azelma and Courfeyrac appear to be heading in the direction of his car. Only, that does leave Enjolras with Eponine. 

“We meet again,” she grins.  

“So we do,” he is not a man of many words right now. 

Well, she can deal with that. She climbs back into Azelma’s car, motioning for him to follow – she doesn’t want to miss the movie. 

“This does explain why Courfeyrac suddenly wanted to see Casablanca,” he mutters as he climbs into the passenger seat. 

He has to slide the seat backwards quite a bit, and she is trying not to be too obvious about how she’s eyeing him. He’s just so tall, and he’s looking handsome, and if they’d met any other way, she might have tried to make something out of it. But not even the great Eponine Thenardier can make burglary into a meet-cute, right? 

“If you’re saying you hate this movie, I’ll kick you out of this car,” she warns. 

She is not even joking much. 

“I could never hate a true classic,” he quickly replies. 

“Good,” she grins. “And I promise not to steal anything this time.” 

Why not make a joke out of it? He already said he wouldn’t report her, so it’s time to let it be an inside joke instead of a source of anxiety. 

“Sounds like a plan,” he’s smiling too. 

And then they’re quiet, listening to the movie and trying to pretend they aren’t looking at each other. She’s sneakier about it than he is, but even the great Eponine Thenardier gets caught sometimes. 

If they keep getting thrown in each other’s paths, why not enjoy it? 

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It’s been a whole week since the drive-in, and she hasn’t seen him. She hasn’t accidentally run into him at the coffee shop again, she hasn’t been by to visit Marius at his office, and clearly the universe is sick of throwing them at each other. And that sucks, because it chooses to quit just when she actually wants to run into him. 

She had a great time at the drive-in. He didn’t try to talk through the movie, and he snuck back to Courfeyrac’s car to get them some snacks that technically weren’t quite allowed. When she teased him about her being a bad influence on him, he went with it, displaying a sense of humor she hadn’t seen much more than a glimpse of before. She was intrigued, even more so than before. So here she is, standing in front of his door on a Friday night, hoping he’ll actually be home. Actually, she is pretty sure he will be home, but she is just unsure if he will want to see her again. He didn’t ask for her number after the movie, so clearly he isn’t interested in her the way she is in him. 

Ugh, this feeling is so disappointing for a badass such as herself, but she is going to power through it. 

The doorbell sounds, and she waits for a response, awkwardly holding the newly washed shirt. She hates that she has to return it, but if he’s not interested, it might be for the best. It would be too awkward to have a random shirt belonging to him at her house, especially if their paths crossed again in the future. They probably will, knowing how the universe likes to mess with her.

“Eponine,” Enjolras is smiling when he opens the door. 

“Gabriel,” she has to grin in return. “I came by to bring back your shirt.” 

Or, actually, she is using that shirt as a damn good excuse. Hopefully he’ll see right through her and appreciate the effort. Ugh, she is so beyond wishful thinking, but he’s making her. 

“It probably looks better on you,” he says. 

And then he blushes, making her think that he really did not mean to let that slip. It’s a very good sign, and the blush is actually working for him. 

“Do you want to come in?” Enjolras recovers quickly. 

She walks in without another word – because did he really think that she was going to say no to that? 

When she walks back out the next morning, she is wearing the shirt. 

At least this time she didn’t have to sleep on the couch.

[the-hope-in-my-galaxy]

My BTS WINGS Tour in Chicago Fan Account

THIS IS A LOT. Like 4 whole pages in google docs 😬. Don't feel obligated to read the whole thing just because you follow me. If you have any questions to ask me feel free to message me :-)

OK first things first shout out to the uber guy who was blasting a kpop spotify playlist when he pulled up to get me lmao

He told me he personally wasn't into it but that he had been driving people to the venue since like 11:00 AM and he already saw people lining up so i was like 💀

I got to the venue by 6:30PM and had to wait like 5 minutes to get in

OK…..so I ended up getting an ARMY bomb ewhvfqghrlhotw

And….here’s the kicker……….it was $60 🙃🙃🙃

It was impulsive af but i had the money and i was so afraid i wouldn't get anything else because shiz was selling out fast so i panicked 😬

I waited in this long ass line because i knew I had to get some kind of souvenir but by the time i got to the front the ARMY bombs were the only things left

And you know what's hilarious? i ended up not even using the ARMY bomb because after waiting in the second line i didn't even have enough time to charge it 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

So i was just like Fuck It and bolted to my seat which was 2nd tier

Even though my seat wasn't close to the guys...it didn't feel too far away? The venue is really nice tbh like i was of reasonable distance and could see everything fine.

My seat was at the end of a row in the middle seats so i didn't feel squished which is a HUGE bonus cuz that was my main concern so overall I think my seat was pretty good.

Before i talk my head off about the performances i want to give a big shout out to the people who filmed, did artwork and put together the VCR’s throughout the concert. Everything was so beautiful and fit the themes and songs well.

After the first VCR, which was arguably an art film, these guys came out with Not Today and y’all….

It wAS SO HYPE

That was honestly when i realized that this was...Actually Happening.

Like these guys i care about so much were performing right in front of me

I screamed so damn loud lmaooo

After Not Today they did their introductions and they were all SO CUTE ☺️

Ofc Hobi did his iconic “I’m your Hope!” and my heart fell out of my ass LMAO

Yoongi was so freakin Extra™ he took his damn ear buds out and made that cocky hand gesture where he closed his eyes and put his palm to the back of his ear to get everyone to scream for him I CAN’T with him 😒

But.. i still screamed as loud as i could 😏

I screamed for all the members everyone did

After their cute introductions and small talk they continued on with the concert where they performed Am I Wrong (an under appreciated tune), Baepsae (LIT 👅👅👅 they all looked so hot) and the Dope which i hadn't listened to in a while so i felt nostalgic jamming to it.

And then we got to the solo stages...

Jungkook is such a talented kid tbh. Like i joke about him a lot in my tags but he looked so cool performing Begin. His footwork was something else 👌🏾

After him was Jimin with Lie and HE HAD HIS TIDDIES OUT (I’m calling his mama lmao). But no it was just a reallllllly low cut shirt like 👀 I see you chimchim. The performance was literally art in motion for me with the choreography and background VCR, and the song itself is just a masterpiece, my fave solo after MAMA. Jimin is so captivating to watch.

After him was Yoongi with First Love and it was so beautiful and passionate. The background VCR had really well done art and complimented the beauty of the song. Yoongi has such a cool energy to him, very confident and unafraid. I really appreciate what he had to offer.

And look... I already knew Yoongi was a good looking dude but like…Idk what happened but this concert made me realize how beautiful he really is??? Hobi is my bae you guys know that but Yoongi had me swerving a couple of times jesus 👀

After that they came back together as a group perform Lost (vocal line only, and another under appreciated bop) Save Me (my favorite group performance, when Hobi’s part came on I screamed and then loudly repeated the only english line he had in his verse,”The best of me!”) and then I Need U (a classic)

After that was Namjoon who performed Reflection which was very mellow. It is a very vulnerable song that encompasses emotions I think anyone can relate to. I am glad he could openly share those feelings in a song. When he go to the part where he repeats the “I wish I could love myself” line we were all chanting WE LOVE YOU like the fans at Brazil and Newark. It was so sweet ☺️

After him was Taehyung with Stigma and HE DID THAT. Tae really gave his all during that performance. I still worry over his vocal technique tho cuz he is a natural baritone and that solo had a lot of high notes. But he was so immersed in his song and it was so soulful like 😭 I’m super proud of him.

And after him...MY MAN CAME OUT 😰 😰 😰  

Y’all i was NOT ready Hobi KILLED IT. Mama is such a bop but the meaning behind it is so gorgeous this boy really does love his mom. He danced, rapped and during the ending chorus he had his lil singing adlibs and I was just felt so content and happy seeing him perform with all his energy. He really is our Hope 😭😭😭😭

And during Hobi’s solo they showed soooo many baby pictures 😱 they showed pictures of him I never seen before including awkward pre teen photos of him posing like a superhero and I LOVED THAT cuz we all have those super awk photos we took when we were 12 thinking we looked badass and then we see them now and we’re like 🙄 so I’m really glad he was confident enough to show that he’s just as human as everyone else. And then...

JIN’S SOLO MADE ME CRY 😖

ALRIGHT so here’s the deal…

Hobi is my Official Bias™ and Yoongi is my now confirmed Bias Wrecker™ but…

Jin is…idk I can’t explain it but he has such a special place in my heart. He gets overlooked a lot and in his solo song Awake he sings about this. Feeling like he is sometimes not a part of his own group and I’ve felt that way before so many times. Hell all my life even. When he was singing his solo I honest to god teared up like he’s just such a great guy with a great sense of humor who works so hard in everything he does. I sang most of the song and I screamed so loud for him, everyone did. I just hope he felt loved that night ❤️

Jeez i teared up just writing that…

And then….after that was the cypher 💀💀💀

EVERYONE was hyped, rap line went off, it was around this time were my voice was starting to hurt 😥

After that was Fire, another hype song

And then it was a huge mashup of their debut/rookie years title songs. It made me realize how far they’ve all came when it comes to music.

Diring that they performed Run which is the era i really started to stan them. It brought back some more nostalgia, mainly back to when the fandom life didn't feel so damn dramatic 25/8 😒

After that was when the started to talk with us again. They talked about how they spent their time in Chicago and how happy they felt to be there.

HOBI WENT TO THE CHICAGO AQUARIUM AND GOT THIS CUTE SHARK HAT AND HE WAS SHOWING IT OFF LIKE IT WAS A TROPHY IT WAS SO CUTE!!!!!!

Namjoon said he went to look at Lake Michigan and the Michigander in me was like 😵😵😵

Like yes boys come to Michigan sometime! Swim across the lake lmao 😭

Namjoon also said that if he had to chose any US city to live in it would be Chicago which i thought was super cute and everyone around me was going nuts. I like Chicago a lot too and i hadn't been there in such a long time so it was good to come back for the concert. Hopefully I can stay longer next time

Also! The Chicago Armys did the rainbow project as well!!! It was so pretty. The organizers did such a great job. I remember when American Armys were first talking about making a project with the light sticks but people (including other American fans) were sort of putting them down because they thought we should leave making good fan projects to the Korean Armys which made me go??? But you guys really pulled it off!!!! Im proud of y’all.

The boys looked shocked that the American fans did it again because they had already did the same project at the Newark concerts, they all looked so happy and commented on it and how grateful they were.

After that they performed their more recent songs off the WINGS album including 2! 3! Hope For Better Days which had a beautiful montage of all the members from debut era. I know i keep saying this but it was obviously nostalgic

The also performed the WINGS Intro which I LOVE and wish it were made to a full song but for the concert they made it longer than usual so the boys could goof off and interact with fans and the stuffed animals the fans tossed at them. Jungkook wore these cute bunny ears  ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ super cute. They all looked like they were having a blast with the fans at the floor seats. That was the only time I felt jealous of not getting a floor seat. There’s always next time tho!

The last songs they performed were Boy Meets Evil(Hobi’s other solo that was the album intro, and ofc he freaking killed it!!! He is such a talented dancer and i hope he goes on Hit the Stage one day so everyone, especially non-fans, can finally see how great of a dancer he is) BST(LIT!) and Spring Day(Beautiful performance, a great way to end the concert)

The boys stayed on stage for the longest time even after Spring Day ended. They all took their sweet time doing final bows and saying goodbye to the fans. They were so sweet this whole concert and always kept the crowd hyped when they could talk to us throughout the concert. I'm so thankful I saw them. I'll never forget this and I hope to see them again.

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful