#and how they - and really other binaries and even spectrums as well - are treated as rooted in biological reality

[goodluckclove]

Some Loose Thoughts on Queer Rep (Specifically Aspec Rep)

(Just in advance I'm going to dunk on Alastor from Hazbin Hotel like a lil' bit, as a treat. Mainly the team that made him and what he represents, but still. If that's rage bait for you, I suggest maybe dipping out now)

I have a theory that queer media needs both queer characters and queer genre characters. The difference is very important.

I think a queer character would be a character in a story about their queerness. For some reason the only two characters I could think of are the guy from Love, Simon (What was his name again?) and the protagonist from Rubyfruit Jungle, which should express the weird and complicated relationship I have with this particular archetype.

Queer stories centered around queerness are definitely needed, but at the same time I feel like we're just starting to come to terms with the desperate need for the alternative, which are queer characters in genre media that contain overarching plots larger than their sexuality. Not separate, necessarily (Their queerness certainly influences things), but just beyond. This is more accessible for a variety of artists, which is also the reason why it can be a flop or a massive success.

We get more of this than ever for gay and sapphic characters, as well as some trans folks and occasionally non-binary. It's definitely way less seen in aspec characters, and even less respected. I started thinking this way because the internet is flooded with references to fucking Alastor from Hazbin Hotel as an aroace character and - like - god, I don't get it.

Like you can have your serial killer comfort character, that's fine. But latching onto him as representation for the entire aspec community when he was only confirmed to be aroace through a reference in a livestream and the weakest joke onscreen is pretty disheartening. It definitely reads like this part of his identity was added pretty late in his character development, and by a team of people that didn't seem to consider what the response and reaction would be and how they'd handle it.

I also wish the newest aspec icon in media wasn't created by a team so adamant on encouraging shipping culture above actually respecting the identity they've decided to provide representation for. Like I see it means a lot to people to have an aroace character doing something cool in a fun TV show that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with their identity. Then there's like four other people right behind that person who really wants that person to be romantic and fuck.

And like, yeah, aroace people can do that sometimes. It's a spectrum, I know. But can't we start with a baseline representation before providing proof of fluidity?

I just think we deserve better. Like a character who in the media is established to be aspec, and people are like "great" and move on to fight robots or do magic or whatever. And the person can be morally grey, or even a total dick, but like I'd personally prefer something with a little more depth than Hot Topic genericism.

Like don't get me wrong, I'll take some sort of eldritch horror as my representation, but...make him at all horrifying? Like everyone talks about how he has Eldritch powers, which I know to mean unfathomable and maddening. But I've seen everything he does in the canon of the show and it is both incredibly fathomable and makes me feel normal and sane. Yog-Sothoth this man is not.

But yeah, I don't think there's a solution here besides more aspec artists creating aspec characters in their work. That way people can still like Alastor if they want, but he's not like the only viable option in terms of representation in the media. Let me see lovingly-crafted cool guys and dipshits and chaos goblins and little babies and True Horrors, all of whom have varying degrees of distaste or indifference towards sex and romance.

Do it. We need it. Please.

[the-delta-quadrant]

6 things i learned in 6 years of being out as nonbinary

1. not all nonbinary gender is derived from male or female.

i used to have a very simplified understanding of the gender spectrum as a triangle with the corners being male, female and agender and you could slide around on the sides or in the middle. gender is much, much bigger than that and learning that was an important lesson for both my own self-discovery as a maverique and my understanding of other people's experiences.

2. a lot of trans & nonbinary people still hold on to gender-related binaries.

somehow i wasn't aware of this until 3-4 years ago (ignorance was bliss!), but gender-related binaries are really common even in spaces that pride themselves in breaking them. male- and female-aligned used to be very common, classifying especially nonbinary people by AGAB still happens constantly, transmasc and transfem are being treated like a binary and people created a men vs non-men binary 2 years ago. we can't escape binaries even in our own communities.

3. there are a lot of people who treat nonbinary as a blank slate to project whatever is convenient to their argument on.

i'm nonbinary until i disagree, suddenly i'm a man. i'm nonbinary until i'm openly asexual, suddenly i'm a cishet female invader. nonbinary is not a single third gender, it's man-life or woman-lite. but actually nonbinary men and women don't exist, because the only way to be nonbinary is to be neither.

4. nearly every single nonbinary term either gets rebinarised or a lot of hate.

transgender used to be a term that mainly described people who we'd now call nonbinary, yet it now has a pretty binary connotation with nonbinary people still being pushed out on a regular basis. genderqueer was an earlier term for nonbinary, but binary people decided it wasn't inclusive enough if it didn't include them. people are trying to turn nonbinary into an ideology that binary people can follow rather than an identity. people hate the word enby because it gives us even the tiniest bit of legitimacy that is given to men and women by default. people lose their shit about labels that describe attraction to nonbinary people because apparently we're not a valid group of people to feel attraction towards.

5. binarism doesn't describe a general antinonbinary sentiment, but specifically bigotry against cultural genders.

we have the terms sexism, ableism, racism, classism, so it would only make sense that bigotry against nonbinary people would be called binarism, right? wrong. binarism is a form of colonial violence that frames the western gender binary as the only real gender system, and punishes cultures that recognise more than two genders. the -ism term for nonbinaryantagonism would be exorsexism.

6. binary people are gonna think you're a cringey weirdo no matter what you do, so you might as well prove them right.

no matter how palatable we try to be, at the end of the day they hate us all.

[downthepub]

Something that I love about this season of Good Omens, but am not quite sure how to articulate, is the way characters who don't understand the context clues are treated. Like even when that's used to keep them in the dark, it's never treated as something mockable or stupid (except perhaps by Metatron!).

Gabriel's amnesia makes him not know anything, and so things have to be explained to him. He has to be wrangled, to protect himself and others, but he's not "stupid" just because he doesn't know things.

Shax needs tone explained and constantly has things about Earth and human culture that she doesn't understand. Even when Crowley is exasperated and doesn't feel like explaining, he doesn't seem to think that makes Shax stupid, or less dangerous, or anything else.

And then we have Muriel being *really bad* at her scripted "human" interactions, but it seems like the only person who really looks down on her for that is Metatron.

And of course there's Aziraphale with his incredibly literal reading of situations and people and what's true and what's not true. It is a very rigid binary. And obviously even social injustice is just part of the ineffable plan and an opportunity for people to rise to the challenge! He believes what he is told, and when he finds out something isn't true, it's a big adjustment for him. He can stretch it and make his own choices about right and wrong, and he reads situations much better with more experience under his belt, but there's still a part of him that absolutely believes what he's told, at least in that first moment. And the truth is really important to him. Like Crowley lying to him, he knows and needs to reassure himself that it's a lie, and he also keeps trying to get Crowley to affirm that. (You're really good, etc.)

And even with all their experience, neither Aziraphale nor Crowley seem to grasp that relationship issues for Nina and Maggie could have something more to do with outside things than just about what the two of them could / should / might feel. Love is a simple 1+1=2 that they never question. Obviously humans fall in love, that's what they do! The fact that one of them is already in a partnership, the other one has forced herself to accept that and not act inappropriately, well it simply doesn't register on their radar. Somehow they've missed this complexity of human interaction that would be clear to most people at a glance. I don't think they're actually dismissing the lived experiences of Nina and Maggie or trying to ride roughshod over their lives as much as it simply doesn't even register to either of them that things are more complex than they currently understand. It really does need to be explained for them to begin to understand.

Then there's the poor guy who has to keep asking questions because something *doesn't make sense* or isn't consistent, even though he gets punished for speaking up, over and over.

So, to me, many (most?) angels and demons are basically coded as being on-the-spectrum, IMO. It's nice to have that not be the butt of the joke, just part of the humor and cultural clash and conflict. For instance how Muriel is not a "stupid low-level angel" to Azriphale and Crowley, but more like "a dangerous, if currently ignorant, problem we have to stay ahead of." Even when they're tricking Muriel it's feels more respectful and humane than when Metatron acts like she's just stupid (even though she's useful to him).

I don't quite know where I'm heading with this but I love seeing it. It's like a breath of fresh air to have characters who are absolutely missing the "normal" cues, and not have that simple fact overshadow everything else about them.

[pr0f3ss0r-cha0s]

EXPLAINING MY EVIL TWUTTERS AU CUZ I LOVE THEM

Alrighty so basically it’s like TFBW superhero thing related. So this takes place AFTER Wonder Tweek and Super Craig have that whole fight where Tweek leaves Cartman And Friends for Freedom Pals and when Craig and Tweek are arguing and shit. Basically, after that whole shabang Tweek starts being treated like he’s less than the other members of Freedom Pals. He just feels like he doesn’t belong and everyone is treating him different for some unknown reason and he IS right. They ARE all treating him differently and it’s because they came to the conclusion that Tweek was Craig’s sidekick and what was the use of another dudes sidekick other then to basically act as an intern? He usually wasn’t allowed to battle and only really healed the other team members, fetched their groceries and stuff or clued them in on whatever Cartman And Friends were planning (and he didn’t even know that much.)

Because of all that, that’s where Butters/Vic/Prof. Chaos comes in. He very quickly took notice of how Tweek wasn’t allowed to battle and he figured it was because Tweek was weak. What he did was that he broke into Tweek’s house in the middle of the night and kidnapped him for ransom. He was originally planning on staging a coup and trying to take down the Freedom Pals if they were to try to come get Tweek but much to both of their surprise, they ended up getting along really well. They both just connected in a way that neither of them knew were possible. They had similar interests and different mindsets that made them work with each other better than anyone could’ve guessed. Tweek was soon faced with the option; either he could still be held for ransom or could join Butters and Dougie in villainy. Considering this au is called “Evil Twutters” I’m pretty sure it’s clear what he chose

Tweek changed his name from Wonder Tweek to ThunderStorm to solidify that he was now a villain (it had to weather related in some way sorry yall) and Butters was able to get new and better ideas for evil plans since Tweek was around to help and think more outside the box. They were a match made in heaven who bring hell to the heroes who stand in their way, they match each others freak frfr.

Anyways, I absolutely love them and even tho I’m never going to make this a full comic or anything, I really like how I characterize them in anything I make of them. They’re literally awesome sauce and are my pride. Also I should mention that Butters is strictly called either Butters or Vic, he’s not called Chaos like in my other au. Also this is in NO WAY related to my other au with the similar style, in the other au Butters is called Chaos and is AroAce and it’s a pretty prominent part of his character, Twutters is in NO WAY canon to it. Butters is a Cis man and a Bisexual while Tweek is on the Non-Binary spectrum and Gay. I could talk forever about how much I like how I did Butters in particular in this but that’s another thing. Also Vitiligo Tweek for the win

[dissociacrip]

i find it more useful to talk about the ways in which disability is made (in)visible (and ways in which disability is made hyper-visible) rather than sorting things into "invisible vs. visible disability" because like. i just don't that that's in line with most disabled people's experiences whether that person would be considered "visibly" disabled or not..? what truly makes someone visibly disabled vs. invisibly because "being able to tell if someone's disabled right off the bat" is way to vague and relies on far too many variables to be anything consistent.

like, some disabled people have very prominent, very noticeable effects from a condition that aren't guaranteed to be recognized as "disability" (just using myself as an example, reduced blood flow to my brain means visible signs like ataxia and slurred speech, but strangers are more likely to read that as intoxication/being under the influence rather than a result of a medical problem, which isn't exactly safe.) is that invisible disability? are my mild gait abnormalities that likely get me read as "weird" at most visible disability? am i invisibly disabled when i'm using a cane or a pair of crutches despite those things being markers of disability? are my variable difficulties with pronunciation due to my muscle condition invisible disability? was my classmate invisibly disabled when CRPS made their hand swell up but everyone still denied that there was anything wrong? at what point do the visible effects of a condition render someone visibly disabled vs. invisibly?

like, what is it that REALLY determines whether a person is visibly disabled vs. invisibly disabled? what if someone has a condition with visible effects that don't go away, but their condition isn't well-known so those effects are likely written off as something other than "they're disabled"?

this isn't about visible bodily differences because that's a different matter. but idk. just something i'm thinking about because people who identify as invisibly disabled and treat this as if its some solidly-evidenced binary and act as if visibly disabled people are this privileged category within our community when that is just now how disability or ableism even works. i don't wanna call it a "spectrum" because that's corny but visible vs. invisible disability is not nearly as clear-cut as some of these people act like it is and i don't think nearly as many disabled people fit into either/or as they think.

like, a pretty staple experience of disability is being disbelieved and doubted and denied care. this gets magnified by things like gender, race, poverty status, body size, etc. rather than by arbitrary standards of "invisible" or "visible." maybe it's that i don't relate at all to the idea that i'm supposed to be invisibly disabled even when the visible effects my disabilities have are mild and change depending on various factors.

i'm not gonna take issue with someone finding "invisible disability" a meaningful way to express their relationship to disability, or visible disability (esp in the case of things like limb differences and prominent gait abnormalities and full-time non-ambulatory mobility aid users, that's not really my place lol), but the way it's discussed sometimes seems annoying and inaccurate and sometimes is even weaponized against those deemed visibly disabled which is. really fucking ridiculous and ableist lol. like i think it should be basic logic that the ones who are the most visible amongst us are the ones that tend to be the most vulnerable to ableist violence and prejudice.

[transmascwillbyers]

This could be a bit of an unpopular opinion, but do you know what I actually love about Mike's character? He's a queer character who's just... allowed to be an absolute f**king jerk sometimes. And I know that probably sounds like a weird take when you boil it down like that, but let me explain.

So often when we get queer representation, the characters are very black and white morality-wise- either they're these perfect angels who can do nothing wrong, or they're literally the queer-coded villains of the story. While the former is definitely better than the latter here, it has the unfortunate effect of minimizing some characters' impact and complexity, since they have to be 100% perfect people all the time or else it's "bad rep". To be clear, I do think that having queer characters on screen being good, functional people is still great representation, and it shouldn't be taken for granted, but I also feel like the experiences of queer characters can often get sanitized onscreen for the sake of straight audiences "understanding" us, or not having cisallohet people take a look at a queer person doing bad things and think "oh this queer person is doing bad so I'll go use that as an excuse to be homophobic now yay!"

Plus, while bad rep does exist and absolutely should be criticized, I think that sometimes we can be so nervous about something being queerbaiting or bad representation that even minor flaws or problematic things in a story feel like they're attacks on us, creating this very binary and unuanced idea of what good representation is (rep exists on a spectrum of good and bad! there's good and bad aspects of most rep!) Of course, I don't fault anyone for feeling disappointed with some stories, and I know that different people can feel represented in different things more than others. If you really like a work, shout it from the rooftops, and if you want to criticize it, you are fully within your right to do that as a queer person! We just need more nuance in the way we think about queer rep, and we need audiences to be MUCH less homophobic, because otherwise there's this effect where queer characters can't really do bad things and behave badly without backlash from both sides (but mostly homophobes). Remember everyone calling Will a homewrecker after s4 for... having an unrequited crush on his friend? Yeah. That happened.

Well, enter Mike Wheeler. As much as we all love Mike, you have to admit, he makes a lot of bad decisions on a fairly regular basis. He blows up at his friends because of his own internalized homophobia (iT'S nOt My fAUlT yoU DoN'T lIkE gIRlS), he has his parents constantly nagging him about how he's acting out and doing badly in school, and his entire season four plotline basically consists of him... treating his girlfriend badly and then going off and having an emotional affair with someone else once she gets arrested. Okay, obviously that's kind of an unfavorable look at it, but this is what I mean! He makes bad decisions, he does bad things sometimes, but the narrative actually manages to strike a balance between making us feel sympathy for him without completely justifying all his actions. If Mike does something bad, he (usually) faces consequences and does something good about it later, to furthur his arc. He's a queer character who's allowed to screw up and be somewhat morally grey sometimes, and you know what? I love that. I love that because it feels real, and authentic, and because the Duffers aren't sugarcoating the struggles of being queer and how internalized homophobia can make you act out and be a jerk sometimes.

More importantly, Mike's actions do get called out in the narrative, but we as an audience aren't supposed to find him irredeemable or morally bankrupt just because he makes bad decisions. He's a classic anti-hero (it's me, hi, i'm the problem, it's me) in the sense that the characters in the text make him face consequences, but the writers themselves don't treat Mike like he's a bad person in the greater context of the story. It's a complicated nuance, mainly about how the characters view another character vs. how that character is treated within the story, tonally and archetypally. We as an audience can make our own decisions about Mike- is he a good person? A bad person? Likeable? Unlikeable? No one f**king knows! And the fact that we get to have a queer character who people don't unanimously like is actually really cool when you think about it!

Ugh. This was so rambly, and I'm so sorry, but istg I have so many creative writer thoughts about Mike it's not even funny. TL;DR, I personally really love Mike as a queer character, because in ST it doesn't feel like his experience is sanitized or sugarcoated for the sake of making him seem "likeable" to an audience that doesn't understand the experience of being queer. He's allowed to make mistakes, he's allowed to be somewhat morally grey sometimes, and the fact that we can have a queer character who isn't perfect for the sake of seeming appealing is just... ugh. I don't know why but I just find it so f**king cool as an english nerd. His character is so interesting, and asdfghklj- I'll stop now.

I'll finish off with this- Equality for queer people and queer representation in media WILL NOT be achieved once we have a character who's perfect, unproblematic representation. However, it will be achieved when we can have a character who makes mistakes, does bad things, even royally screws up sometimes, and no one bats an eye- because people won't be homophobic enough to use them as an example of "why queer people are bad", and queer people will be secure enough in the world so that they won't have to worry whether representation is good, bad, or somewhere in between.

[daja-the-hypnokitten]

Jukebox reviews part 36! For context, see my post “A Project” under this same tag. If you want to see a full list of his EMCSA stories, they can be found here, sorted alphabetically.And if you want to see some of his drabbles, check out his blog at @jukeboxemcsa

King Pleasure Time

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7/8/2017                                       mc ma

I'd say this isn't how humans work, but then, "I can haz cheezburger" was a thing for *ages* so maybe it IS how humans work, just on a different scale. While we do see how Caitlin is effected by the brainwashing here, it just ... isn't in a spectrum that speaks to me? There's absolutely nothing I *dislike* here, just nothing that I find particularly to my personal erotica tastes. But if you're the sort to enjoy someone's opinion on a thing being changed by regular exposure to other people treating using one as just normal, of seeing snippets of a world that's changing by something "off-screen"? Give this one a go. 6/10 spirals. 

 Just Dumb

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7/15/2017                                     mc mf md

If ever I needed evidence that Jukebox is not as big of a Rush fan as LadyR, this story sure provides it. (If you're dropping astrophysics/astronomy that 99% of your audience is just going to take as "ah, that's ... some sort of thing in space?" and you don't go for HDE 226868/Cygnus X-1, I can make the not-at-all shocking conclusion that you aren't a Rush fan). Off of the topic of me being both a bit of an astronomy nerd (though I did need to look up the binary system Jukebox named, I only just dabble really) and having an ever growing love of Rush, well. This story feels perfectly grounded in something that could have happened at any hypnocon I've been to. It's lovely and sweet and hot in all the right ways. Though now I want to send Eden to a class on bimbo play so she can both be reassured that plenty of smart, clever folk enjoy the temporary reprieve from *having* to be smart and also learn the language she needs to express what she wants to other potential partners. 9/10 spirals. 

 Even the Stars Fall 4 U

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7/22/2017                                     mc mf ff fd

Another story with 4U, a heavily-brainwashed human. I still want to see how she got quite so thoroughly conditioned. And to learn more about these Masters. And just *everything* about this world. The constant narration of 4U, even as she talks about how perfectly she assumes a different role/persona is ... jarring, a little, though it *works* in the flow of the story. I just want more of the how and why. Especially in this story, where the conditioning of someone else is more a tag at the end than anything. 7/10 spirals. 

 Girls With Guns (Jukebox)

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7/29/2017                                     mc mf fd rb

Oh, this is an interesting one, and I'm left with more questions than answers about the Girls(tm), though I suppose that isnt' really the point of this story, though I'm sure the epilogue will have Implications. I ... am extremely put off by Ethan, by his posturing and aggression and just all of it - I've been on the receiving end of enough aggression from men who were just enough like Ethan, and have friends who have been hurt even *more* by men who reacted to discomfort with violence that I just ... I can't. I know what JB's going for here, and I"m sure it'll be cathartic for some folk, and just plain hot for others, but for me it just isn't. 3/10 spirals. 

 Head Games

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8/5/2017                                       mc mf fd

Ian, this is why I have a board game carrying backpack. Look into them, they're worth the investment. Also, Madison's place sounds like the house of a SCAdian Duchess I know... ANYWAY. I *love* the name Brian Shaw for a game company, A+ on cleverness there, Jukebox, and the game sounds like one that would be entertaining to throw together for a switch fight type game at a con sometime. And I appreciate Madison checking in before doing any sex-things, especially given we already had Ian's thoughts about caring so much about not being a creep making assumptions. it makes this all work, mostly, for all the consent could be better. I love the sense of how Ian's getting more and more caught by the game, too. 9/10 spirals 

 P. T. A.

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8/12/2017                                     mc mf ff md

Nope, I've known too many military wives - mothers! - over the years to not connect this to those folk, parents of friends, wives of my parents' coworkers... NOPE. I'm just not doing this >.> My brain is sometimes too good at connecting unrelated things 

 Opal Mantra

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8/19/2017                                     mc ff

Oh hey, it's the hypnotic opal ring back!  We get to see Piper and her unnamed Mistress from "Doesn't Really Matter" (and wasn't that rather a number of stories ago, it was posted almost 2 full years before this story was!) as they get inside an unsuspecting traveler's head. This one's in 2nd person narration, which is a little trippy given just how hypnotic opals are - there's a reason one of my partners gifted me an opal necklace for Christmas last year, the fire of it just catches the eye... *anyway.*  If you're like me and have a pre-existing association with opals being hypnotic, the 2nd person narration may, um, have an Effect (tm). But it's a good story over all. 8/10 spirals. 

 Up All Night

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8/26/2017                                     mc mf md

The step-by-step process here is fun to see, even if I tend to prefer less disjointed steps myself. "Some of it was things she knew even before he told her" is just such a good line, and the way she seems completely oblivious to the changes being induced before that line is so good. Even if Dylan is rather taking a lot of advantage. But having had those "I have to get this sewing done" nights, even if it wasn't for a grade, I wish I'd had someone to make my hands go on autopilot! (also between this story and Head Games, gosh, I'm getting the itch to do more sewing. Thanks, Jukebox, I think? :P I do have some linen waiting for me to get around to washing and ironing it...) 8/10 spirals 

 More Than a Feeling

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9/2/2017                                       mc ff cb

This is sweet in a slightly twisted way. Like, it completely goes against my view of the universe entirely, the idea that the universe could want to pair anyone like this, but still. Accepting that the world of Jukebox's superheroes and villains operates on a different logic than the world I know, sure, ok, I can work with it. The reality of a power cutting both ways is so good here, and I enjoy the reality of Ursula's instincts warring against Epiphany's mystical instincts. It's a lovely story, however Dilettante tries to warp things. 8/10 spirals. 

 Notepad

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9/9/2017                                       mc mf md

Sneaky sneaky, Kevin. Poor Sandy, getting caught up in that, though hopefully it can be happy for her. And the fact that seh's woken herself up before helps me believe her subconscious will still keep her safe; that said, I have Opinions(tm) about suggestions to trust a hypnotist. Trust should be earned, not taken like that. Still, the suggestions otherwise are HOT, and the concept of the words spilling onto the page and into her mind is. um. *yes.* Also something I've done and very much enjoyed before. 9/10 spirals.

[zalrb]

overall thoughts on heartbreak high? im curious on what you think of the characters, none of them like left an impression on me but i think they were fine, harper was the only one that actively annoyed me. and of course darren CARRIED the show

OK so I've been thinking about this and, like, the good things about it were the actors had the appropriate chemistry with each other -- Amerie and Harper as best friends? Totally believe it. Quinnie and Darren as platonic soulmates? Sold. Quinnie, Darren and Amerie as a fast-forming chosen family? Yes. Dusty charming everyone from Amerie to Harper and some charged moments with Malakai? Pulled it off. Malakai and Amerie? Adorable. Darren and Ca$h? Sold. Quinnie and Sasha? Cute. Which is why I was disappointed how they devolved. Jojo and the dynamics with her students? Yes. I was like, this is the chemistry you need in a cast, no one felt uncomfortable unless they were meant to, I didn't felt inherent distance. Plus the cast was actually racially and culturally diverse, although I do wish we had a Black female teen. Autism representation? Great. Non-binary representation? Great. Ace representation? Great. The way sexuality is treated like a spectrum and not a big deal? Awesome.

I also liked that Darren and Ca$h didn't go the typical route of Ca$h bullying Darren but also being in love with them because Ca$h is working through his shit because that's tired and it's one of the reasons I didn't get invested in Eric and Adam in Sex Education because I already had my fill of that dynamic with Mickey and Ian in Shameless so I was like great, cool.

But when the show tried to go beyond the incest map and delve into deeper issues like Malakai and police brutality or the kidnap/attempted rape of Harper or Harper's father's mental illness, it didn't do any of that justice and it got bizarre. Like, Malakai deserved so much better than how they handled that storyline, Sasha and Missy telling Harper it was fucked up to sleep with Malakai after he was assaulted became about Harper betraying Amerie and somehow got to Harper feeling slut-shamed and I just kept being like OK but how is Malakai not centered in this situation? And then when they try to deal with Malakai's trauma it's pushed to the side and I kept being like so where are your parents exactly? Everyone who saw what happened was angry and indignant and suddenly Malakai is simply the butt of a joke? Amerie's feelings and their relationship somehow becomes the central focus in this storyline? I would just rather not have it, I'm sure there could've been many other ways to fracture Malakai and Amerie's relationship that leads to him having sex with Harper and Dusty.

And even with Harper, like even though what happened to her and what happened to her and Amerie's relationship is the central mystery of the season and we're supposed to see the way that Harper is acting is her trauma from the entire situation, I still don't think it was handled well, I felt like if you're going to do that, it deserves to be a full exploration and not really a central mystery that we figure out in full detail at the end of the season to be like OH that's why Harper is acting this way because Harper does cause emotional damage throughout the season and I don't think the point is to show the ways in which people have been traumatized can spread damage but more like a justification for her behaviour as well as a way to show that we're seeing things mostly from Amerie's perspective and I was like, no we should've seen what happened and seen the unhealthy ways Harper is coping with what happened parallel to each other from Day One. But she really did annoy me throughout the season.

So, I just kept watching it like, these are odd turns and choices that the show is making.

[propernekoarts]

Day 15 was meant to be about the 'Weekend Break from the Grimm'. Wow. Such. Timing. I was considering doing some art of Salem relaxing by the pool with hot weather today, but I decided in the end to stop pretending that things are okay here with all things RWBY.

Around yesterday, Matt and a few other members of Roosterteeth had their roles dissolved and were to leave the company. It led us to fear more about the company. It was not the first time this had happened. Later today, Kdin released a statement, where she was discriminated, called slurs and not paid a lot for her hard work. She went through a lot of crunches at work, before she was not paid for voicing characters across RWBY shows. It then went on to how she was given death threats for speaking up on Clover's death in RWBY. This brought light to numerous glassdoor reviews and past history that shows how Roosterteeth had treated their staff so poorly.

All that had shifted my attention on this ground to having to worry so much about RWBY's future, given they are on the fractured platform as held by Roosterteeth. All of this, on the other hand, has made me both disgusted and upset as much as you lot felt about it. I'm not comfortable right now to make more Salem art, so I’m posting a black picture for day 15 instead.

I do take this seriously as I know from my experiences at work places, that I was not treated well as a human being. There were very few instances of transphobia, most of which came from the customers I worked with. But most of the time I was burnt out a lot and struggled to meet high expectations. When I was at a start up company during Falmouth Launchpad (my second masters) that I was poorly treated and got burnt out a lot while developing a game. I even tried wellbeing services that the Falmouth University offered, but none of that helped to give me more support for my mental health. In the end, I was treated like a bad team player, and I left with work-related stress that I'm still struggling to recover from to this day.

This is why I will be considering either halting or changing Salamitober to not only focus on my health, but to also protest against the poor working practices at Roosterteeth. I'm getting burnt out with this thing anyway after making so much good art. If you want me to continue with this, then I would consider doing art prompts with Shion or May instead of Salem, so I can stand with Kdin and many others affected by this.

Thank you for reading this, and I'm sorry to bring it up with you. I'm sad really but as a struggling non binary trans woman on the autistic spectrum, this shit matters to me and I won't stand for any practices that dehumanises staff at work.

[robotic-bakery]

So I recently came across this post by @kathrahender, a call to action for Lawrusso to become a canon queer couple in Cobra Kai in season 6, the last season of the show. When I first saw this post, I started thinking deeper about how queeness & queer characters are treated in Cobra Kai and wanted to talk about it.

So, as someone who’s non-binary, a lesbian, on the ace spectrum, and (unfortunately /j) a fan of this series, I think this is a great opportunity since the series is ending soon (and to give me a refresher on episodes of seasons past so that, while most of my first draft was based off recollection, I can understand and clarify I know I’m talking about)

(this ended up being very very long especially for a tumblr post so everything is under the cut)

So, first, let's talk about the two explicitly & canonically queer (named*) characters in Cobra Kai; Moon and Piper

I’ll start off with Moon first since, as of writing this draft, I found that I have..less problems with her character. For some context (in bullet points to space things out);

Moon was introduced in the 1st season as one of three members of the Sam, Moon & Yasmine friend group. During s1, specifically s1ep9, she shows interest in and later dates Hawk.

Fast forward to s2ep5, Moon and Hawk break up because he’s shown to be turning into a jerk, and s2ep9 is where we find out she’s rebound by dating Piper (well..”dating” in quotation marks but I’ll explain later).

Fast forward to s4ep5 where (at the earliest) Moon is reintroduced as a romantic interest because her and Piper broke up (we’ll get there), then she and Hawk kiss/back together in s4ep9

Later in s5, (as of s6 part 1’s release) Moon is brought back for two additional episodes, episode 3 where Moon, Yasmine and Sam talk about Sam’s relationship with Miguel parallelling Miguel, Hawk and Demetri doing the same in their own friend-group, and episode 4 for the group hangout at the pool/waterpark.

Now, I’m sure you’ve noticed that Moon is the character I've said to have less problems with and that’s because outside of the context of romantic relationships, we’ve seen her develop from a character complicit in Yasmine’s bullying (particularly towards Aisha) to someone who’s very spiritually/emotionally aware & in tune with herself and others. A great start in terms of queer characters, especially in a popular series like Cobra Kai!! Now, what about Piper?

Piper, who;

dates Moon for one episode which is s2ep9 ("date" in quotes as it really amounted to "makes out in front of hawk aka moon's ex at a party")

is reintroduced two seasons later, in conversation during s4ep5 as Moon's ex (why did they break up? who knows, only that it happened “weeks ago”)

is physically reintroduced the next episode (s4ep6) to have Johnny try to convince her to join Eagle Fang only for Johnny's attempts to fail as Piper joins CK

vaguely flirts with Tory in s4ep7 then loses to Sam in the AVT, never to be seen or even mentioned again as of writing this (when s6 part 1 is released)

Um…ok. Mind you, apart from a short cameo in the prom episode (s4ep8), this is recounting all instances Piper is both mentioned and featured in. Already, this shows significantly less screen-time and character development in comparison to Moon, so this feels like a little bit of a swan dive to viewers like myself.

And while we’re here, let's dive a little deeper into Moon’s relationship with Piper. When looking at the timeline of their relationship, even though it is a sapphic relationship (and also this show’s only queer relationship), it’s one that happens to center around Hawk; they’re together when Hawk is transitioning to his lowest as Cobra Kai’s best (and most violent) student and broken up when he’s in the middle his redemption arc at Miyagi-Do. Awfully convenient, no?

But, to give some benefit of the doubt, Moonpiper isn’t the only rebound relationship that’s used for character/relationship growth; in fact, s2 gives us two primary examples with Tory/Miguel and Sam/Robby. However, relationships like Tory/Miguel & Sam/Robby breaking up give us a reason why they broke up and to actually see it happen. Hell, even in terms of non-rebound relationships, like s2 Hawk/Moon, we still know why they broke up and get to see it happen in real time. On top of that, these relationships also show us aspects like why they like each other and the point where they do get together as a couple.

Moonpiper? Oh, you thought they were a couple with their one (1) episode of screentime, the episode where their relationship is centered around “make out in front of a guy that’s also Moon’s ex”? Actually, No They're Not, they broke up weeks ago! Why did they break up? Who cares, it was weeks ago, that's all you need to know!!

The fact that the one canon queer ship in this show is treated like this implies that it's not meant to be taken as a serious relationship, let alone one that the audience is supposed to care about.

Now, Moonpiper isn't exclusively what Cobra Kai offers in terms of queer representation, but what else are we (the audience) left with in terms of queerness?

*unnamed ace character who's introduced for a quick joke of “Oh Haha, Johnny Doesn’t Know What That Means”

Quick joke made at the expense of nonbinary identities (specifically genderfluid) in the same episode for the same reason.

weird insults with homophobic undertones from, like "fruit in the beer" and "creampuff" said by and to Johnny respectively I’m not gonna lie, I'm beginning to sense a pattern here, no?

Now, I can understand if I’m taking jokes too personally or being too critical about harmless gags, but in the face of minimal representation as it is, I’d prefer if my existence wasn’t something to be introduced for a quick joke; Keep in mind, these are jokes made by a character that (more or less) has the character trait of Being Unaware of Modern Things (this is coming from someone who doesn't hate johnny as a character, should clarify)

That’s not even talking about the various dynamics between characters with homoerotic/romantic subtext to them that people have rightfully pointed out (Lanichols, Lawrusso, Cobra Husbands, Binary Boyfriends, just to name a couple). Even then, because of the subtextual state of these relationships, people argue these undertones with “Oh these guys are just friends/rivals, why can’t people just be friends/rivals stop making everything GAY” (which is totally an original argument that queer people hear and not one that we’re used to hearing constantly especially in fandom /sarcasm).

Now, there's nuance to this topic in a couple of ways (ie, piper and moon are relatively minor characters, moon wanting to get back with hawk isn't a bad thing at face value since she's canonically bisexual, offscreen/bts stuff with the actresses, etc) and it’s only fair to acknowledge those nuances.

Also, as a fan of the show myself, maybe Cobra Kai aka the Karate Soap Opera isn’t the best place to look for representation as Kathra mentions far better sources of canon queer ships (TOH, LoK, She-ra, etc) in the original post. Even then, however, Kat notes how these shows are loved despite their queer characters; I would add onto that say they're even highlights of the show and fan favorites among fandom!!

And mind you, a lot of these examples are kids shows/media; ones that made their relationships canon and characters openly queer in spite of censorship attempts (Lumity, Goldenheart) or even made their couples canon in the last few episodes while still being able to foreshadow the romance in previous episodes (Korrasami, Catradora, Bubbline).

Meanwhile, not only is Moonpiper a considerably smaller ship within this fandom (which does tend something that sapphic relationships are prone to, not always but pretty frequently, especially when other/more popular ships are MM or MF) my friend who got a look at my first draft remarked that she even FORGOT they were even a thing!!

To step aside and get a little personal, this..ended up being a very frustrating thing to write about. I’ve been a fan of this show for 4 years now, give or take, and I’ve grown very attached to the story and characters. But as a sapphic person, to see this show treat their sapphic relationship the way it did and to push away one of those sapphic characters without even a goodbye.. I’m sorry, but I can’t help but be upset about that.

As for something that I (a queer person) want to see in season 6, a queer character or relationship treated the same as the other characters & relationships are would be wonderful. Hell, I’ll even take a return of Piper, even for one episode, just to see how she’s doing!! Tie up that loose thread, you know, a key point of season 6 and part of why it gets an additional 5 episodes!! Just.. something. It doesn’t have to be big or grand, but just something.

TL:DR, idk Queer characters and fans deserve better, it may not come in the form of any popular queer ships becoming canon or even from Cobra Kai the series itself, but they deserve better regardless. Also, I tried rewatching the episodes when and where I could to refresh my memory and get things right but also some of these are still based off recollection so I apologize if I got anything inaccurate here & there.

[clockworksteel]

On the subject of the button

In an effort to actually actively figure gender things out rather than just observing a bunch of small things and doing small experiments, I decided to consider hypotheticals of "the button" this week.

It seems if the button is pink and says "Gender", the proper thing to do is check whether the bomb has more than two batteries and whether there's a lit indicator with the label FRK.

But seriously, I think I've reached the point where I've realized that if there was a magic button of "trans your gender to the opposite of your AGAB and everyone accepts it (plus your government and work documents are handled)", I'd actually push it. Over the past couple months I've gone from "Well, I'd at least have to consider it" to "If I'd be offered the choice again in 1-12 months so I could change back" to "Maybe a 20% chance if it truly is permanent, but it's hard to guess what I'd do", and so forth. What finally made me realize is actually a different hypothetical of a more powerful button that allows editing the body and considering what would be changed or kept. I realized with that button... I would not likely keep any masculine features, so there's no issue with the first button.

But, of course, I think I've been kinda focused on the binary genders when thinking about that, so even if it's true that I'd prefer being a woman over being a man, that doesn't give me a direct conclusion. I could be nonbinary. I think I'm increasingly willing to admit that when I estimate my gender as "nonbinary with up to 50% error", the possible error really only goes in one direction from the guess, so I've actually cut off another quarter of the spectrum, at least.

Also, honestly, I think I've overly focused on appearance. Like, sure, I want to be cute, but how do I want to be treated? How do I want to treat others? As a bit of a shut-in it's kinda hard to think about.

And even when it comes to appearance, since there are no magic buttons I'm not even sure how much I really want to change in real life. Doing anything medically seems like a hassle.

Anyway, separate from the main subject, the scattered happenings of the week:

I spent a bit thinking it would be funny if "flies the RX12" (Cross the Rubicon) was used as a euphemism for being transgender. I'm sure there are plenty of really specific in-jokes people have.

I accidentally called myself "he" in a Youtube recording and was internally like "Aww, missed opportunity to use they". At least "He" is still in my profile so it wasn't wrong, I guess?

I had a snippet of a dream where a character was thinking back on her life which included an mtf transition. It used one of those montage variations where a character just has new versions of themself appearing across a single scene with an implied walking motion. Meanwhile, her narration said, "I believed [in myself], but do not know how I've dethroned the gods." What a way to say you just wanted to live your life.

I had a genuine smile for a minute or two when playing Cupid Parasite yesterday. A grin or a smirk isn't odd for me, but how often do I really smile? I'm not sure. I'm also not sure exactly what scene it was anymore: something somewhat early in the Lovelorn Parasite's route, which I've now finished. I was also reminded of some of the things I felt back when RPing as OC Chante Braice around a decade ago. There's also been a small but definite reaction to anybody using the name I input for the main character (Alice). I thought it wasn't even necessarily the final name I'd want, but now that I'm trying it I can't really imagine trying anything else. Maybe should've thought more in the past.

[otakusheep15]

Twisted Wonderland Queer Hcs

Now that I’ve gotten a bit farther into the game, I wanted to make a more in-depth post about my sexuality/gender hcs for the Twst cast. These will basically be a combination of me actually analyzing the game and forming legitimate theories about the characters, as well as me just projecting onto my faves. Remember that this is a safe space, and that all headcanons for the characters are welcome. I don’t want to see any fighting over headcanons. This is all just for fun. 

Heartslabyul

Riddle

Riddle is genderfluid, and would be okay with using any pronouns, including neos. Growing up, he was very sheltered and most likely had no way of properly expressing their identity without fear of punishment. When Riddle arrives at NRC, it’s the first time he’s ever truly able to express herself. Playing around with different pronouns and labels really helped Riddle come out of their shell, and taught them how to be more expressive in the process. As for attraction, she still hasn’t quite figured it out, but Riddle knows that he definitely likes men for sure. 

Trey

Trey is a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is pansexual. He just doesn’t understand why gender has to be such an important issue when it comes to attraction. Trey focuses strictly on personality, and has never once cared what gender someone is. As for his own gender, Trey has always felt comfortable with his identity as a man, but he certainly doesn’t mind being more feminine every now and then. 

Cater

Cater is non-binary, and uses they/he pronouns, as well as neos. They are also bisexual demiromantic. Cater refuses to use she/her pronouns because it reminds them of their sisters and how they treated him growing up, but he’s fine with any others. I also feel like Cater is the type to sleep around a lot, but has a hard time developing actual romantic relationships. They’ve probably slept with a good portion of the student body, but they’ve never actually dated anyone before, and rarely has he had any crushes that weren’t strictly sexual. 

Ace

Ace is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s bi-curious. As we all know, he’s had a girlfriend before, so he knows he likes women. I don’t think Ace would have ever even thought about liking men until he starts going to NRC. There, he sees just how many of the students are queer, and he begins questioning his own attraction. Ace still hasn’t quite figured it out yet, but all of his friends are very supportive as he figures himself out. 

Deuce

Deuce is a transgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is queer. I honestly have no canon evidence to support why I think Deuce is trans, but I’m trans and I’ve decided he is too. He probably came out in middle school, back when he was still a delinquent. A major part of the fighting was because of transphobes making fun of him or bullying him over his identity. As for his sexuality, he’s never been one to put a label on it since no labels he’s seen really fit how he feels. For that reason, Deuce just says that he’s queer to make it easier on himself. 

Savanaclaw

Leona

Leona is a cisgender man, and uses he/they pronouns. They are also unlabeled. Leona doesn’t care much for putting how he feels into words, so he just doesn’t bother with it. If they absolutely had to, they would say he’s on the aromantic and pansexual spectrums, but nothing more specific than that. Romantic attraction is something they’ve struggled with, and I don’t think he’s ever had a romantic crush on someone before. However, Leona really likes having sex, and he really doesn’t care what gender his partner is as long as they’re good in bed. 

Ruggie

Ruggie is a demiboy, uses they/he pronouns, and they’re bisexual with a preference for women. They’re probably one of the few students at NRC who didn’t have a huge struggle with his gender or sexuality. Ruggie just kind of woke up one day, realized they liked using they/them pronouns, and that they liked multiple genders, and was chill with it. Having grown up in the Sunset Savana, Ruggie naturally developed an appreciation for women, and most of his crushes so far have been women or fem-aligned people. Maybe only one or two crushes have been for men, and they didn’t last very long. 

Jack

Jack is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s still questioning. To be honest, Jack has been questioning both his sexuality and gender, but he’s chosen to focus on one thing at a time. As far as he knows, he’s only really felt attraction to women, but there have been occasions where he might’ve felt the same way towards men. Right now, he’s not entirely sure, but he’s not super stressed over it at the moment. Jack is the type to just go with the flow and see what happens in this case. He’s certainly not opposed to having feelings for a man, he just doesn’t know if he ever has or ever will. 

Octavinelle

Azul

Azul is a transgender demiboy who uses he/they pronouns, and he is demiromantic. Azul isn’t quite sure what label to put on their sexuality, but they know he likes boys for sure. And as for romance, Azul has a hard time finding that connection like most others around him. It’s not like he’s never experienced attraction before, he just never felt any strong romantic attractions to anyone. Gender was also a bit of a struggle for them for a while. Gender in the sea is different than on land, so Azul’s feelings on the matter only got more complicated as he started NRC. Eventually, he came to understand himself a bit more, but sometimes he stays up questioning if this is actually how he feels. 

Jade

Jade is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, and they are unlabeled. They have never really been one to put labels on their sexuality. To them, it just isn’t necessary to do so. However, Jade does find some comfort in putting a label to their gender identity. It just makes them feel more comfortable. As for sexuality, they just kind of like whoever they like, and that’s that. They also experience attraction differently depending on the person, so it’s hard for them to label exactly how they feel. Overall, Jade is pretty chill and just kind of goes with the flow. 

Floyd

Floyd is a demiboy and uses he/they pronouns, as well as neos, and they are bisexual with a preference for men. Out of the three Octavinelle students, Floyd is the most expressive when it comes to his sexual and gender identity. They’re never one to hide who they are, and he’s very openly proud. He’s also the one most obsessed with labels. Floyd is someone who, I imagine, likes putting words to things because it helps them explain how they feel more easily. 

Scarabia

Kalim

Kalim is a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is omisexual. He’s always been comfortable with the gender he was assigned at birth, but Kalim is fine with presenting more femininely. If anything, he actually likes to embrace his feminine side every once in a while. As for his sexuality, he’s always known he was attracted to multiple genders, but he usually experiences his attraction in different ways. The ways Kalim experiences a crush on a man is different than crushes on women, and both are different than his crushes on those outside of the binary. Kalim is also very expressive about his identity, and he’s not one to shy away or hide it at all. 

Jamil

Jamil is a transgender man, uses he/they pronouns, and is on the aroace spectrum. They’re not exactly sure if they are fully aroace or just on the spectrum somewhere, but he knows he’s never really experienced romantic or sexual attraction before, nor have they ever had the desire for either. Now, Jamil is certainly open to the idea for both if he ever meets someone he develops feelings for, but they doubt the day will ever come around. Not to mention, his top priority is his work, and they’d much rather focus on that for the time being. 

Pomefiore

Vil

Vil is unlabeled, uses he/him or she/her pronouns, and is queer. He’s never been one for labels, and chooses to just do without them. Instead, Vil just focuses on how he feels in the moment since it changes day to day. Somedays, Vil feels more feminine and prefers she/her pronouns, but most days he connects more with he/him. Just like his gender, Vil feels very little need to label his sexuality. Some days he feels a stronger attraction to women, other days he much prefers men, and lots of days he prefers those outside of the spectrum. To Vil, there’s no point in labeling such complicated emotions, so he simply chooses not to, and he says as much whenever asked in interviews. 

Rook

Rook is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is pansexual. He’s never really been one to look at gender when experiencing attraction. As is very canon to Rook, he just looks for beauty, and anyone can fit that role for him. Rook is hardly shy when it comes to his feelings, and he’ll tell someone when he is attracted to them. In terms of his own gender, Rook feels very comfortable being a man, and he’s never once thought about being anything else. 

Epel

Epel is a transgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is still questioning. Gender is something Epel has always struggled with growing up. Where he’s from, men are supposed to be big and strong, not small and weak like he is. His stature has always been a major point of dysphoria for him, and that’s why he’s so intent on becoming stronger. Epel is also insanely jealous of some of the other trans boys at NRC because they’re much more masc than he is. As for sexuality, Epel still hasn’t really figured it out. He’s never really felt attracted to anyone before, and he’s not super intent on trying to date anyways. 

Ignihyde

Idia

Idia is unlabeled, uses they/them pronouns, as well as neos, and they’re demisexual. Idia has no intention on putting a label on their gender identity. All they know is they’re not comfortable with either of the binary options, and they feel much more at ease with they/them or any neo pronouns. And when it comes to attraction, they don’t experience much of it. Idia is much more focused on they’re fictional crushes to care much about irl crushes. Plus, sex has just never really been their thing. Yeah, they feel sexual attraction sometimes, but it’s hardly ever directed at a real person. 

Ortho

Ortho is a bit of a special case, seeing as he’s a robot. If this were the real Ortho, he would have been a demiboy who used he/they pronouns, and he would’ve been bisexual. But, seeing as this is a robot version of Ortho, it’s a bit different. The version that Idia created will respond to any pronouns, including neos, and he wasn’t programmed to feel any sort of attraction, sexual or romantic. Because of this, you could say he’s unlabeled on all accounts. 

Diasomnia

Malleus

Malleus is agender, uses they/them pronouns, and they’re queer. Having lived as long as they have, Malleus has had tons of time to explore various sexualities and gender identities. I feel like, depending on the time period, Malleus labels themself differently, and these are the labels they choose to use at this time. They don’t feel any major connection to gender as a whole, so finding the term agender really helped them put a label to how they felt. In a similar way, Malleus had a hard time putting a label on their sexuality, so they thought the term queer was a nice way to put it until they could really sort out their emotions a bit better. 

Lilia

Lilia is unlabeled, uses any pronouns, and is aroace. By now, Lilia has seen and heard everything they need to. He’s dated and he’s had sex, and now they’re just kind of over it. Not to mention, Lilia sees everyone as a child, so it’d be a bit weird for her to try and date at all. That’s why they now identify as aroace, since it’s been quite some time since he’s felt any sort of attraction. As for gender, she’s decided that he’s fine with any and all pronouns, and will honestly respond to whatever someone calls her. Lilia is, however, particularly fond of she/her pronouns as of late. 

Silver

Silver is a transgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s still questioning. It was pretty obvious from a young age that Silver identified as a man, even if he couldn’t see it himself at the time. Lilia, however, was quick to pick up on it, and introduced him to the idea of being a boy. Now, Silver is basically fully transitioned, and he’s feels virtually no dysphoria. As for his sexuality, Silver still hasn’t quite figured it out, but he’s not too concerned over it. He knows that he’ll figure it out eventually, and he can always ask Lilia or Malleus for advice if need be. 

Sebek

Sebek is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is bisexual. He knew pretty much right away that he was attracted to multiple genders, and he embraced it pretty early on. It was mostly thanks to Lilia and Malleus being so supportive and understanding. Sebek is not one to hide away, and will loudly call anyone out for disrespecting his identity. In terms of gender, Sebek feels relatively comfortable as a man, and he has no intention of changing that aspect of himself. However, he’s still more than willing to be a bit more feminine if asked. 

A couple of other random facts I should mention. I hc all of the boys as polyamory, or they’re at least open to the idea. Also, I do have my own hcs about relationships between the characters, but I’ll probably make that into a seperate post if anyone’s interested.  

[aroaceconfessions]

We gotta stop blaming cishetallos for problems from inside the community for a sec or we will be wasting effort on the wrong target.

Like, this sounds crazy, I know, but hear me out: they don't know we exist. Not saying if they knew they would be fine with it, in my experience a homophobe, a biphobe, a panphobe or a transphobe will be also amisiac once they learn about us. The thing is most of them have yet to learn we exist. Our allies are almost all of them other queer people but that also means that the prejudice we feel as aromantics, asexuals and people on the spectrum also comes from within the queer community.

I realized this reading posts from trans people, specially non-binary, mogais and such, about some specific prejudice they go through and how, to overcome them, they needed to stop pretending it was coming from an outsider who in most cases don't even know they exist. Those who do it unconsciously need to be told they are doing it so they can stop, and those who know well what they are doing need to be either re-educated or fought off. No social media network do shit when you report an arophobic or acephobic content/account, so people know there are no consequences to it and guys… lying to ourselves ain't gonna solve shit.

If we don't start acknowledging that as a community — the lgbt+ one, the queer one —, an yearly post saying we are loved while still practicing aphobia, even if you aren't aware, not only doesn't suffice but harms us, and that most of the aphobes who are aware of their actions and intend to act as such are from within the community we will make absolute no progress.

We barely are taken serious when we talk about the need for positive representation, we will just be stuck in this cycle of "we exist, we are valid, we are not faking". We won't ever go to the "our identity is not a mental illness symptom nor a trauma indicator, make it illegal to use it for diagnosis" and "the laws and most contracts for any kind of service does not consider people who are non-partnering and limits us in many ways, reconsider them" or "rights who are only given to partnered people are not rights but privileges".

It's Okay to call out someone when they are doing harm even they think they are doing good. It isn't mean or ungrateful. It's necessary.

We went through the "aspec people are not inherently LGBT". The different in nature of it from other exclusionist movements [as in how those movements began and were treated by the community (some really starting from outsiders), and how what we are going through since the mid 2010s began and is treated], should be more than telling. We need to make people realize that it shouldn't be treated as just a casual thing to be an exclusionist, we need to de-normalize this mentality of its okay to support the community while excluding A-spec people. People should be angry too. I wish they would start getting angry too because is so very tiring to make post like "if it was an *another lgbt identity* you would be angry" everytime something aphobic happens not only because it's a painful truth that doesn't seem to get better but because there will always be someone there to twist our words.

I don't know how to articulate this but what I mean is we gotta focus the whole awareness inwards a bit, the explaining, stop blinding ourselves from the clear truth.

Most people who don't know about us will learn about us from allo-allos. We don't have the platform to spread awareness as strongly so of course the help is appreciated but everytime I scroll through idk tiktok I see someone trying to be supportive and explain what is Aro, what is ace, what is demi, and such, but saying it in a very vague and, surprisingly more often, very damaging way and I'm thankful for the effort, I really am, but… you gotta be aware of who will be telling your story.

[the-axe-forgets]

There's this weird divide between binary and nobinary trans people that I feel like isn’t talked about enough, at least that I’ve seen.

To some binary trans people, nonbinary trans people are absurd and holding the community back. See neopronoun/xenogender discourse. To some nonbinary trans people, binary trans people are holding themselves back from really exploring their gender, or trying to appeal to cis people.

And I think it stems from a similar place to the causes of the "not like other girls" trope. Minorities are either desperate to double down and make ourselves "presentable" for the majority, or we have a deep desire to say "fuck yeah, I'm XYZ, what're you gonna do about it?" 

And neither are inherently bad. I myself am a binary trans man who tries to go as stealth as possible, and I know plenty of nonbinary trans people that are very open about identifying as such. An issue arises when we're pitted against each other by cis people. Trans people have been marketed as many different things. We've been sold as just-like-you types, and fuck-the-system types, as well as the transphobic predatory types we see in both outdated and modern media.

Not only is gender a spectrum, but so is how out one wants to be. Some people are absolutely not willing to tell anyone about their identity. Some people will indulge if asked, but are otherwise stealth. Some wear subtle representations, such as pronoun pins, to let you know they're either queer or a queer ally. Some might introduce themselves as genderqueer upon meeting someone new. None of these are bad. None of these are bootlicking or obnoxious. How someone chooses to treat their identity is no different from how they choose to share it.

But the divide comes when queer people, often those that are newer to the wider community, feel as though their experience and views about sharing their queerness is the end-all-be-all for how other trans people should healthily approach their own identities.

And I don't think it comes out of hostility. I don't think the uneducated or the ignorant should be attacked. But I do think it's worth addressing why this happens, and how it harms the general community.

Hell, I'm not exempt from this point of view myself. I still feel some internalized disdain for those who introduce themselves with their identity/pronouns, and though I acknowledge it's wrong and scold myself away from thinking differently of that person, there's so much to dismantle before I can completely rid myself of that mindset.

I've got a long road ahead in terms of ridding myself of all my internalized transphobia, and it'll take years, possibly even decades, to fully erase how my surroundings have influenced me.

I think it's worth examining that inside yourself, not only to make yourself a better person, but also to help make the queer spaces you engage in more welcoming and more free of how transphobia has affected us as queer people. The likes of Kalvin Garrah and Blaire White deeply fucked up online spaces, and generational prejudice did even worse for the possible centuries to come.

This is getting really long so I'll wrap it up, but I think as queer people there's a sort of responsibility to step back and really thoroughly get ourselves in check. I highly doubt anyone is 100% free of internal transphobia. And that's not to say you're horrible for having it, I just admitted to being "guilty" myself, but if you recognize it and choose to ignore it you're not doing yourself (or those around you) any good at all.

This is really a ramble more than anything. It’s meant to open up a conversation, rather than be the conversation. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences, and if you disagree I’d really love to hear your take.

[sauroff]

I was trying to take a nap, but gender queer fëanorians headcanons attacked.

(English is not my first language. If I use any term incorrectly, in a way that might be sensitive,  please let me know.)

I was thinking about which fëanorians I can easily see as gender queer and why, and the three that came to my mind were Maglor, Curufin and Caranthir. These are all separete headcanons, and some even have different interpretations of how gender roles work on elven society. Maglor’s one aren’t particurlaly happy, so you might want to skip them if you aren’t in the mood for that.

  Ok, so. For Maglor, I can easily see him somewhere in the non-binary spectrum. Like, I imagine elves have very defined gender roles (specially Noldors), and I can see Maglor feeling like he doesn't fit in them. So he has this general sense of discomfort in trying to fit in what's expected of him as a man, both in manners and aesthetics. And then he met the Fëanturi, which I imagine as definitely non binary. Mandos scares the shit out of him, so he doesn't count (I'm using all their canon pronouns anyway because I don't think they contradict). But Nienna and Irmo are positive influences for him, and he could see a bit of how he wanted to be, gender wise, in them. Sadly, because of how complicated his life was, he didn't have many opportunities to explore his gender after the Oath.   But before that, I can see him at least trying to play around with some things that aren't consider manly by Noldor standars and adding them to those things that he is comfortable with. I particularly imagine him trying to imitate those things about Nerdanel that he admires, in terms of manners. Definitly not aesthetically, tho. Actually, I imagine her asking him for advice in terms of clothing later on. His aesthetic ends up being a lot more extra and seductive that what is accepted for a male Noldor, but is usually brushed off as just  part of his bard persona. Like, if you aren't dressed with really thin and soft silk that seems to cascade with the curves of your body and you aren't putting glitter on your very low cleavage, are you really an artist?

 Anyway, all of that had to die as soon as they put a foot on Beleriand. He might have had a bit of it back before the Nirnaeth, but it was never the same as it was on Valinor. Things were really tough and he felt need to pretend to fit into the whole "male leader" role, like t was his duty. Needless to say, this added a lot to his general misery.

  Ok, on a much more positive note, Curufin.   I don't have a justification, I just like the concept of him being trans. Like, physically speaking, elves don't seem to have very different features based on sex, only height. And Fëanor isn't that tall to beging with, so the difference with Curufin wouldn't be that much. He does get bullied about it by his brothers anyway.   I imagine his family being totally accepting with his identity (again, different interpretation of elven society), but also a bit clumsy. Like, Maedhros would unconsciously treat him like he was somehow more fragile than the rest of his brothers (he isn't), and Curufin would get super mad about it (which would often end with a punch in the stomach for Mae). Celegorm, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. He would completely forget that their bodies are not the same. Like, I don't know if elves menstruate, but If they do I can totally see Celegorm going like "What do you mean you don't feel like going for a 4 hours ride today? Come one, don't be lazy dude. It will be so much fun" while Curufin is there, reminding himself how much he loves his stupid ass brother while trying not to snap at him. Then Carathir, who was just passing by, goes like "He just doesn't think that bleeding all over his horse is a fun plan, asswhole" and Celegorm goes all like "Oh" inmidiatly followed by a "Ok but, for the record, it would look hella metal".

   Finally, Caranthir. I don't imagine him being actually genderqueer, but more like just consciously crossdressing? (Switching pronouns now). Like, I imagine her being the only girl in the family, and very quickly finding out that she gets treated differently because of it. And she doesn't like it, at all. She can call her father and brothers on their bullshit, but she can't do that with everyone else. Well, actually, she can (and does, for a while), but It's too much trouble. So she just decides to start acting and dressing like a man, and with time she starts to actually presenting herself as such. It's not that she is man or feels like one, is just that she wants the privileges of being percived as one. And so she does.

  And if you are thinking that all of this is just an excuse to have some lesbian Caranthir/Halet... you are totally right.

[tanadrin]

What are your thoughts on people who just want to be left alone, and not just solitarily - they want to leave modern society and go live in the woods.

They should be permitted to. Modern liberal democracies are mostly OK with making deals with secessionist subcultures: enclaves of Mennonites, the Amish, ultra-orthodox Jews, and so forth are permitted form and mostly self-govern, and are occasionally even granted opt-outs from various forms of government interference, like certain taxes or insurance requirements, on the basis that they make much less use of government services. It's harder to carve out such exceptions for individuals, but we do have things like the concept of the conscientious objector that accommodate deviations from the usually expected set of rights and obligations for people with a commitment to alternate sets of values.

But these things exist on a spectrum; opting in or out of society isn't a binary choice. Also, except in the libertarian fantasy land, it's very hard even in North America these days to find trackless wilderness where you can live totally unconnected to the rest of humanity--and most of it is in Alaska and northern Canada, so bring a nice thick coat. Where I think this consideration, the concept of "atomic communitarianism" to borrow a phrase, is most interesting is in its more complicated real-world instantiations.

Anabaptist religious communities in the US, for instance, aren't really autarkic villages; they're socially segregated, but economically connected with the surrounding area. Ultra-orthodox Jewish groups, while endogamous, have historically always existed within larger urban communities, and could not function without them; many seem happy to rely on social support from the government, which given the emphasis they place on a particular kind of pious lifestyle makes sense.

Where indulging atomicity in society encounters tension, I think one of three things are at play. First, the atomic community is in conflict with the wider community over material interests. The fight over the distribution of public school funding in Ramapo, New York is a great example of this. I don't think these kinds of conflicts ever have easy solutions, especially when the atomic community in question doesn't or can't form a distinct separate unit of local self-government.

Second, an organization wants conditional status as an atomic community. Anabaptists generally refrain from participating in secular government as a fundamental tenet of their religion; contrast the Catholic church, which now that religiosity is declining in many of its former strongholds, often presents itself as merely wanting to govern its own affairs free from governmental interference; but as soon as they are in a position to influence policy and make political noise, they do so, and they have no doctrinal objection to being made the sole official church of a secular state. In other words, Catholics are not naturally an atomic community, and so shouldn't be treated as one. They shouldn't get special consideration in a pluralist society, and Catholic institutions should be subject to normal rule of law. The Catholic church hates this, and it's this loathing of being constrained by the same rules everyone else is, rather than a real ideological motive, that causes them to cover up child abuse and play the victim when their mass graves get dug up in Canada and Ireland.

Thirdly, an atomic community may be genuine in its aspiration to atomicity, and it may be tolerated implicitly or officially by the collective authorities; but there are obligations that the collective authorities have to individual members it is pledged to protect that supersede any deal made with the community as a whole. The most visible example of this in the present day is child abuse by religious authorities. Whether it's the FLDS, ultra-orthodox Jewish communities, or, yes, the Catholics, one of the few things our society absolutely refuses to condone in an atomic community or an aspiring one is the sexual abuse of children, and the obligation of the collective authorities to prevent that is considered so far-reaching that no exceptions for any self-governing community can be permitted. Sometimes these communities can stave off interference temporarily by capturing local authority in elections and flying under the radar of more remote authorities, but this seems to only work in rural areas and only for a limited amount of time. The only imperative to exercise state authority over atomic communities that I can think of that comes even close to this one regards, like, tax evasion, because states also have a strong incentive to make sure people know that independent parallel authorities aren't permitted to compete with the state, and tax collection is one of the very basic functions of government.

Now, all of the above examples are religious communities. That's not entirely a coincidence: religion is a powerful community-building force, and rising standards of living in the developed world have reduced the relevance of purely political or economic utopian projects. In countries like the US, where there is a strong tradition of religious freedom, federalism, and soft libertarianism, society can easily accommodate a large number of atomic communities, even highly insular religious ones. That is strong to America's credit; in almost every case, if people want to go off and do their own thing, they should be permitted to. Even fucked-up cults like the FLDS folks should get a strong benefit of the doubt, because pluralism is important, and state power is a crude bludgeon, and when that bludgeon goes awry you get shit like the Waco massacre. We can quibble on where exactly the line for outside interference should be drawn, but regardless of the criteria we use, sexual abuse of children seems like a reasonable criterion for interference.

Should lone individuals or tiny groups get carte blanche to fuck off into the woods and never contact human society again? Sure; but they effectively already have that, if they can find an empty patch of woods. And simply in terms of sheer numbers, the quantity of hermits and members of eremitical microcommunities will always be dwarfed by larger, more persistent atomic communities like those organized on religious lines. Religion is just a much stronger motivating factor for that kind of secessionism.

If a self-organized community of individualists did form in the wilderness, or on some vast expanse of privately owned land, and wanted to govern themselves free from interference--well, that's called "incorporating a municipality" and you can go through existing legal channels. Your new town won't be free of state or federal authority, depending on where it is; but if you're large enough to need a bona fide local government, I think there's a strong presumption that your community has a big enough impact on the surrounding areas and is populous enough that the collective authority takes a legitimate interest in how your community is run. But local governments are really important, and get a lot of shit done! Don't underrate their power.

If you really want more autonomy, you can always petition your state or national government for status as a separate state/territory/province/autonomous community/department (it worked for the Mormons!). You'd probably have to be fairly big; but I think your community would have to be very large in the first place to really get any benefit from that kind of larger local government. And, of course, there's always the Free State Project. In fact, I want to strongly encourage right-libertarians and anarcho-capitalists of every stripe, no matter where in the world they live, to move to New Hampshire and leave the rest of us alone. I think that's a really terrific idea (and more viable than seasteading).

One thing I didn't discuss is uncontacted peoples or native communities that preexist the communitarian authority. Especially with regard to the former, I don't trust state power to interfere in these communities in a non-destructive way; whatever the conditions the North Sentinelese are living in, the entire population being wiped out by measles carried over from the mainland would not be an improvement. And the excuse of legitimate state interest in protecting individuals has often been used to fuck with communities of racial undesirables--it is after all the reason the residential schools in Canada were built, and the Catholic church empowered to imprison children in them. This is part of the reason why even if you can prove an atomic community is a fucked up cult that treats its members horribly, I don't think it should be forcibly disbanded--the criteria for interference have to be extreme, because they have been so flagrantly abused in the past. Basically, the framework I'm using in the rest of this post doesn't apply here, because these native communities aren't secessionist for any meaningful use of the term. They function differently, they preexisted the authorities imposed on them, and that original imposition was a war of conquest.