#and how thats going to play into the other more emotional subplots as well

[magic-is-something-we-create]

i am once again thinking about the differences in each POV in millennium saga and how their perceptions of each other and themselves are warped by their own misconceptions and how fun that particular conflicting information will be to write in gt

[br1ghtestlight]

okay first of all im not convinced that rudy didn't buy tickets only bcuz louise annoyed him about it and he vaguely recognized the bands name from one of his dads old records FJDMDNSMSMSJ

why doesn't tina get to go to the old man concert w/ gene louise and their friends 😭

love how both concerts that tina mentioned going to were boyz 4 now concerts and that BOTH of them were actual episodes in the show. this is why catching up on bob's burgers lore is so important. these are the things you'd miss!!!!

NOOO NOT THE KING BREAKING HIS PAW this is a code red emergency

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT QUINCE BURGER BANGER NAME‼️‼️ have the bobs burgers writers seen the hawk and chick bb/eeaao comparison gifsets. do they even know that they made me cry. i want you to know how much i love and support you even if you stop fighting monsters with me someday and do taxes instead. okay sorry i got distracted

rudy!!!!

okay MAYBE i missed them saying that the concert had paid entrance or something but this is a block party?? could they not just go downstairs and watch the band outside. like it might not be premium seats but at least they'd be going to their first concert ?

most normal louise and rudy interaction

LINDA IS GONNA GET LITTLE KING TRASHMOUTH EUTHANIZED GOOD GOD 😭😭😭😭💔💔

why is tina being the voice of reason here LMAO like at least google how to capture an injured raccoon or something

OH ITS NOT THAT HARD. GOOD WHEELS ON THIS THING obsessed w/ teddy in this subplot(??) i missed him

i feel like this episode has the same problem as the st patrick's day episode where despite the episode's title and description trying to make the subplot the main focus of the episode its also Clearly the subplot to a more important storyline. which is fine bcuz they're both entertaining in this episode but its gonna be confusing as hell in the future trying to find this episode 😭

"maybe it would be easier to watch the concert from the street" IM SAYING LIKE?? literally what was louise's plan here. im obsessed with her

girl. all this for like six pieces of candy

THIS HAS NO REASON TO BE SO STRESSFUL im shaking im so worried about little king trashmouth... if anything bad happens to him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. that would literally be bury your gays. to me

not bob having another burger related existential crisis ☹️☹️

bob has failed to realize he could cook literally ANY other food if he really wanted to. but i will admit he likes cooking the burgers. and tbh?? what he described sounded like an autistic dream so maybe he simply does not understand the vision like me and u bob. maybe he just doesn't get it

"is that magic marker?" "what makes you say that??" "my.... eyes?"

actually where the HELL did they get those shirts they're too big to be louise's but wayy too small to gene's this is the actual mystery in the episode. possibly maybe tina's old shirts or something??

today we learned that linda buys her wine from the liquor store on their block which was Probably obvious but cool to see it confirmed

OH HELL NOO BOB IS GETTIN OLDER

also kinda funny to say this when big bob is Literally in next weeks episode and seems happy enough running his diner.... like bob have you considered maybe you LIKE cooking for people and thats okay?? your dad does too. some people are happy to do one thing forever and thats not like a Problem unless you're unhappy

awww they're such cuties dancing together

ROMANTIC RACCOON REUNION 💕💕🏳️‍🌈

"Well there are moments, you know... when the band locks in, the crowd is with them and everything they ever loved about playing music comes flooding back in a rush of pure heavenly emotion. All that crap."

"But... all these decades later, they still have them? The moments?"

"You tell me."

😭😭 WHY DID THIS PART OF THE EPISODE MAKE ME WANNA CRY I HAVE TO GET A VIDEO OF IT OR SOMETHING. WHAT THE HELL too real for creative people..... omg. this season has a lot of moments like that about the creative process like gene's song etc

YOUNG BOB‼️‼️ OHH HES SUCH A GENTLEMAN bob my beloved

THIS EPISODE WAS VERY CUTE?? very silly subplot w/ linda and the raccoons and then louise and gene and their friends. bob's little crisis in the middle there got to me harder than anticipated (i think they could have easily made that into its own episode but considering they've done similar concepts in the past i dont hate that they didn't flesh that out as much as they could have. we already KINDA know where bob is coming from here) and the ending clip with bob singing was soo silly im gonna need to post that too. fun episode!

[gotenandtrunkz]

Concept: a dragon ball fanfiction that is totally antagonist-driven and plot heavy and long and well-written and enthralling and, like, it really seems like the author knows what theyre doing and everything has a place. 

But in all of this theres also ample time for domestic stuff bc it’s a slow-build, or bc not all characters are involved at all times . And it takes place during a time where trunks is a teenager and he has braces for his shitty teeth. and as a reader youre like LOL. Wonfder why they chose to give him braces. But you dont really think abt it much.

But then also theres this subplot in which goten and trunks have been hanging out lately , playing video games, going to the skatepark, etc and youre like Oh thats sweet . Anyway let’s see where the main plot goes.

But then that subplot doesnt leave and FOR SEEMINGLY NO REASON what happens is that goten keeps trying to get trunks to eat gummy worms bc he knows it’s bad for his braces + and thats all cute and funny to see them bicker + but then goten just seems starngely transfixed on this bizarre idea of there being METAL in his MOUTH and this culminates into him eventually getting trunks to let him lick the candy out of his braces.

and again THIS IS A WELL-THOUGHT OUT STORY .. everything has a place .. everything feels thematically relevant in regards to itself AND the source material .. so WHY does trunks have braces WHY are they eating name-brand gummy worms? Like the author made that up. Why.

and it just gets weird like we can see how goten is having a hard time understanding this metal mouth situation and he doesnt like it and is vexed abt it but it also disgustingly intrigued and haunted by it .... Everyonbe keeps trying to explain to him the purpsoe of braces but hes just inconsolable. Hes like “It Just Aint Right. It’s not natural.” and Gohan tries to explain “Well see it’s like how i wear glasses, i cant see so well so theres glass on my face! But thats not that strange to you, is it?” but goten cuts him off and is just like IT’S NOT THE SAME THING.....

Anyway. We also see how Trunks handles this. And we see how sick he thinks it is that goten keeps doing this to him and at the same time we see the wordless, desperate fervor he exhibits where he sneaks down to the party store to buy more gummy worms with cash, how when the cashier lightheartedly says “hey kid, you know gummy things arent good for your braces, right?” trunks barely emotes and just hands him the money, we see how whenever he knows goten is coming over he plants these bags of candy where he thinks goten will see them just to put the idea in his head . We see how when they hang out it’s totally normal and comfortable until goten ntoices smth on the counter yonder and goes “woah. woaaah. Are those gummy worms? WOAH. Well. Dont mind if i do..” and then it’s like a ball drops and the evening is not the same as trunks just waits for the inevitable when goten is like “Hey you can have some too i wont tell your orthodontist..” and then tries to feed him these damn worms.

and trunks is saving face so well and exhibiting disapproval at the prospect of goten stick his tongue in his mouth but also he deosnt fight back THAT hard . Like his disapproval is genuine but so is the way that he wills himself to turn the other cheek.  And every time Goten leaves Trunks is in the bathroom scubbing his teeth and picking his braces clean and just trying to fucking breathe and not vomit. The thrill and the disgust are interchangeable. 

AND AGAIN. This is a perfeclty conventional and engaging dragon ball fanficiton. YOPU CANT FIGURE OUT WHY THIS IS HAPPENING?

And either you never get an answer OR you finally find out at the very end WHY this has been happening. It’s so when at the crux of the villainry, they refuse to form gotenks, thus giving the plot the proper dire kick it needs. 

Like things got TOO uncomfortable between them like their subplot get its climax in which Goten is like "WAIT WAIT WAIT. They put METAL in your MOUTH so that your TEETH will MOVE?" And he already knew that but hes just realizing it in full context again. And Trunks doesnt know what the fuck hes supposed to do about the desperate fervor that lives in his chest and makes him hide gummy worms in his room for Goten to find. And maybe this does just culminate into them making out and it's WEIRD becasue it's not like theres anythinf between them but platonic comfort and fearful disgust. And they do this and Goten deosnt even care about it becasue without the sweet tang of gummy worm flesh and the tart effect of the sour dust it's sort of underwhelming. Like the metal and teeth thing is still fucked but again it's underwhelming like hes done this before but with candy and so this is just underwhelming. And they do this until they stop and then Goten goes home ... ?

And so later, in the climax of the main plot, theres a situation where they REALLY need another strong fighter. And they're sort of getting their shit kicked in. And Bulma is hiding amongst the wreckage and her son flies down to see if shes ok and shes like “IM FINE BUT YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE.. WASNT GOTEN JUST WITH YOU? GO MERGE WITH HIM OR SOMETHING!” and trunks is just like Um. Well. About that. I dont really think that’s neccessary .....

and like the stakes are so high right now but theres this pocket of comic relief where we have time for Goten to stand there with his hands in his pockets kicking rocks around and for Trunks to be like "Hey. So. My mom says we have to fuse.." and for Goten to go "Yeah. No. I dont really wanna do that...."

And you cant really say no to Bulma so they try to fuse but they dont really do it bc they keep being like "hold on my postures off" "uh I think your ki's off" etc etc and it's becasue they're kind of nervous and completely uncomfortable for obvious reasons. And Bulma just cant fucking believe what shes seeing right now.

And so. The justification for that whole sub-arch is that so at the end, Goten and Trunks arent available to form Gotenks. Ok. Sure. Everything has a place. The ends justify the means.

...BUT DO THEY???? DO the end justify the means??? ISNT THERE ANY ROOM FOR COMMENT ON THE MEANS THAT WERE CHOSEN... SURELY there are a MILLION other ways to get to that same functional end. SO WHY??? WHY??

Again to reiterate this is a great and good fanficiton. A right proper read. It feels in chatacter and relevant. SO WHY ... DID THAT HAPPEN .!!

Thanks for reading. Love you

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

[halfhappyhooligan]

a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think

look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!

today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?

so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this

(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)

au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird

so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling

eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon

(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)

shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff

^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him) 

obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)

ofc keith goes anyways

lance becomes paladin of the black lion

allura takes on the red lion

who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)

enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow

shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him

he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion 

in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon

then zarkon kills lotor

everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power

but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.

shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily

instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals 

he convinces them all to rebel against the galra

eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore

(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?

instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)

i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk

but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can

^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire

they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control

they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course

so

they take her

obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out

keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard

reunions !! 

romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)

lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?

and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.

and keith ✨overhears ✨

pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit

meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck

they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now

so they do

and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan

except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand 

due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head

everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure

allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game

but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race

hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target

and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this

shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them

he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm 

in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life

afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened

and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry

and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean

lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader

they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss

krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u

and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro

and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend

they talk about it later

axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well.. 

they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm

shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy

and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself

shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”

“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes

keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing

“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”

and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.

so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets

romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth

romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden

allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and  couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole

her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does

allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home

when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker

rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀

the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night

he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen

when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space

they are so, so proud of him

hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight

when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates

(same for matt and her dad)

(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)

the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears

keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family

he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth

after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace

everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them

they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam

everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives

everyone is happy

pls ignore any and all errors lmao

again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah

feel free to add anything <3

[skelegun]

I’m pretty exhausted so I won’t do that big of an indepth review, so here are some scattered thoughts about the movie MIDSOMMAR which I watched earlier today with as little spoilers as possible I’m also probably not going to proof read this so please forgive any incoherent thoughts or poor grammar:

The Plot:

If you have seen any “Quirky Commune is hiding a dark secret” film like The Wicker Man, you know the overall arc of the story. Group of friends are invited to go to a seemingly friendly isolated swedish pagan commune to experience a big year festival. What stops this film’s plot from being totally paint-by-numbers, is the crumbling relationship between the two main characters, Dani, a young woman dealing with both mental illness, and her boyfriend Christian, a grad student with little direction in his life. Christian was planning on dumping Dani, and going to Sweden with his college friends, but when most of Dani’s family dies suddenly, he reluctantly invites Dani come with him.

The acting:

Florence Pough as the main character Dani was really well casted, I don’t want to spoil much but her character goes experiences a pretty extreme range of emotion and she handles all of them without overacting or seeming false. Same cannot be said for Christian’s actor Jack Raynor, who it is often hard to tell if it is him who is a bad actor, or if it is that his character Christian the bad actor, I have a feeling it is a mixture of both. Also there is a pretty lengthy sequence where his character is experiencing a bad trip and the whole time he just looks like he has to take a dump and the scene is meant to be serious but I found it kind of absurd. The other actors all pretty good I guess. None of them really stood out as particularly good or bad.

The directing:

This is where this movie really shined! Without going into scene by scene shit, let me just say there are 2 things this film did really well; the first is the movie has a fantastic soundtrack, and one thing that is really neat about it is if you pay attention is that when you hear music you can see people in the background playing flutes or chanting commune members. The other thing I really enjoyed is that psychotropic drugs play a big role in the film, so the scenes where characters are high often have really neat surreal effects like subtly shifting trees, flower crowns that writhe, eyes that look just a little too big. Its a neat effect and I really liked it.

The minor gripes:

So some minor gripes I have is there is one scene surprisingly early on after they arrive at the commune that normally in these films would mark the transition from “fun cultural exchange” to “pagan nightmare”, but in this film everyone’s reaction seemed really just... Odd. Like Dani’s reaction could sorta kinda make sense because of her circumstances, but the rest of the gang kind of shrug it off too easy. Christian’s reaction especially seemed more like “huh that was kinda wacky”, which kinda add’s to my inability tell if he is bad actor or if he is really good character and his character is just a phoney sack of shit. Other minor gripe, the cremation scene, thats not how cremation works, most people wouldn’t know that, but I have industry experience so that shit stands out to me, more of a nitpick then anything. Third gripe, movie was almost 2 and 1/2 hours! Some scenes, specially towards the end could have been trimmed, and there were some scenes that could be cut entirely without really losing much. A good example is a Swedish girl takes a liking to one of the protagonists, constantly making eyes at him and what not in a obvious non-subtle manner, later on we see her put a some kind of strange carving under his bed, so one of the protags steals the carving and shows it to the guide, and the guide is like “oh thats a love rune, meaning she likes you”, that particular subplot had numerous scenes that went on too long and contributed little.

The Meta Analysis:

This is a subgenre I particularly enjoy, if you want to make a movie I will be guaranteed to not hate, just slap a overly friendly cult in that shit. I genuinely did enjoy this film, and recommend it you, but as I get more woke with years, the more guilty I feel about enjoying this kind of films. At their core, they are about fear of the primitive. The narrative of these films whether they outright state or not, is that “you may eek out an atomized miserable existence in modern secular civilization, but if we look backwards for even a moment we will lapse back into weird fucked up incesty sex stuff and human pagan sacrifice”. Watching this movie I kept thinking to myself, “hey, without the pagan bullshit these guys got a pretty nice thing going on”, but these kind of films are meant to reinforce that You can’t have a happy community where everyone is friendly with their neighbors, you must be hiding something. Also, again with that in mind, I rather enjoyed the ending to this film, and it pleasantly subverted my expectations.

[sharksfood]

spoilers for Ralph Breaks the Internet (Wreck-It Ralph 2)

SO i was going to wait to record my thoughts on Ralph Breaks the Internet until after i finished my homework but i cant stop thinking about it!!!

anyways, I saw RBTI on Tuesday night in 3D and it was AMAZING!! i mean, both the movie by itself and how it looked in 3D. i loved that they put in a nod to those movies that took 3D to the fullest potential with stuff coming at you from the screen, when Ralph was throwing the football into the air.

BESIDES THAT i LOVED this movie!!!! i’m no negative nancy when it comes to sequels and i had been wanting a WIR followup since the first one came out!

but to get the biggest aspect out of the way, i was not always on board with the plot of Ralph and Vanellope going into the Internet. when I first heard the movie announcement and the whole Internet aspect it didn’t totally make sense to me. I mean, I originally thought the gang going into online games was a good mix between Internet and video games (since WIR revolves around video games). However I quickly changed my mind, especially since they WOULD be going into online/mobile games.

My initial reaction to the movie as a whole was EXTREMELY POSITIVE!!! I loved how the animation looked, the fact that we got an introduction on what Ralph, Vanellope, Felix, and Tammy (Calhoun) had been up to since the last movie, and that everything including the arcade had changed in basically real time. That last part was a bit sad too, especially with how few games were left in the arcade and that it seems business was not as good for Mr. Litwak as it used to be. BUT this movie, especially the beginning, was like catching up with an old friend after a long time apart! WIR means so much to me and I was so glad Disney took the time to connect to those who’d seen and loved the first movie.

I’ll admit I was a little nervous with how they’d handle the Internet, especially for a fictional universe thats based on the real one, like WIR. I knew they’d have to create fake websites and video games and what not to fit the plot and because of licensing rights. I’m also glad they did this because if Yesss were the algorithm for actual BuzzFeed or YouTube I don’t think they’d let anyone forget that. plus that would be too 4th wall breaking in my opinion. and this movie did A LOT or meta/4th wall stuff. I dont think any of the references or hints or real-world tie ins were annoying or over the top, it was the right amount for me. they could have made everything fictional, but that would fail to hook people. it was the right amount of fiction and real-life.

that being said, I do think some of the things Ralph, Vanellope, and Yesss accomplished couldn’t work in the real world. What bothered me is that any video of Ralph showed him as 3D, like how he looks in Sugar Rush or in the Game Central Station. Yes, that is how he looks “inside” the games and from other video game character’s perspective, but does that work for humans? Maybe it wasn’t explained very well, thats all. WIR is at times a little hard to wrap my head around. But then again, not everything needs to be explained or completely realistic, since, you know, video game characters are not able to coexist in each other’s games or buy stuff from Ebay.

the new characters was SO GOOD especially Yesss, Shank, and Knowsmore (to me anyways). I would have liked if the new characters had interacted with each other on screen more (like Yesss and Shank are friends but you wouldn’t know that without each of them saying so). also the Disney Princesses were adorable and actually more plot-related than i thought they’d be!

the biggest surprise for me is how much importance the movie gave to Vanellope for being a princess, i mean, she got a song and everything! To me she never gave her princessship much mind, since she only wanted to be a racer. by the end of the movie she was farther from being a princess than before. but i think this was intentional and why we got the scene with the other princesses in the first place, Disney wanted to show that there’s no one way to be a princess. obviously Pixar addressed this with Merida, and I think Moana is a good example, too, but Vanellope really is the least-princessy princess. I’m also glad that they didn’t make her song or voice too cute/pretty, it fit with her character, personality, and dream!

the part of this movie that my most impactful for me was the message and eventually plot structure of how Ralph and Vanellope’s friendship was addressed. WIR means a lot to me is many ways, but the fact that romance or blood family isnt the main relationship dynamic is huge.  I mean, I can’t think of many Disney/Pixar movies that do this, and even those that do, friendship is just a subplot. Ralph and Vanellope becoming friends, protecting one another, even in the face of their differences is one of the main messages of WIR (the other being self-acceptance and following your heart). RBTI took this further with the message of how friends can grow, drift apart, have difference dreams, become too attached, and build negative friendships based on anxieties. I’ve NEVER seen this in an animated movie, and it hit me pretty hard.

so with anxiety in mind, I really liked how Vanellope’s glitching was utilized, i mean since she now has a general control on it, she doesn’t glitch out as much. the only time she does in RBTI is when she wants to or when she’s super anxious. its almost like a physical symptom of her having a panic attack. (on a personal note, Vanellope’s glitching was the main thing that helped me get over my fear of glitch, so that relation to anxiety and fear is very meaningful to me) but Vanellope’s anxieties were very different from Ralph’s, which is good! they both struggled with being accepted within their games in the past, and part of that still lingers, though now, especially for Ralph, it manifests in anxiety over their friendship. I really like the direction that Disney/Pixar has taken with some of their movies recently in that the main antagonist is not a villain, but rather an emotion or conflict anthropomorphized.

as for the characters, Ralph and Vanellope were PERFECT. Vanellope is my favorite and she was just amazing. Their characters were the right amount of the same from the first movie and different, since there’s been 6 years for them to grow. I’m also really happy that Felix and Tammy were in RBTI, though I wish they were in it more. I mean, this was Ralph and Vanellope’s movie, but most of Tammy’s appearances were just for comedic affect, in my opinion. They also seemed way different, but I guess that’s marriage? It’s as if their character-specific dialogue and quirks were toned down. Maybe after a second viewing it’ll make more sense to me.

My only other complaints are that when Ralph accidentally finds the comment section of BuzzTube, his reaction and that whole scene didn’t add much to the story. I think it was important, especially given Ralph’s past, but it was so short. Ralph seemed to have forgotten all about it after the scene ended. The comments and toxic parts of the Internet play a much bigger role than that, so I wish it was addressed better. I also thought it was weird that we didn’t get any clear context as to why Mr. Litwak got Wifi in the first place. I mean, I assumed it was to get an online presence for the Arcade, but i don’t think that was actually addressed. Of course thats a minor thing compared to my previous comment. 

The last thing I noticed is that the main conflict of the movie, the steering wheel of Sugar Rush breaking and how they’d need to buy a new one or Sugar Rush would be gone for good, was introduced too soon. I think this was done because there was so much content to get through within 2 hours, and I know that the main premise was involving the Internet, so staying in the Arcade would defeat this purpose. It’s just that to me it all sort of fell into place a little too easy and fast. Also, Vanellope feeling trapped in a boring loop of her game and other feelings from the characters in the beginning were told rather than shown. I know already mentioned that I thought certain things weren’t “explained” well enough, but I mean that like, both visually and through dialogue. With the emotional parts of the movie’s conflicts, I think those developed well once Ralph and Vanellope got into the Internet, but it seemed “presented” almost at first. Again, I only saw it once and its not totally fresh in my mind anymore, so maybe after seeing it again it’ll clear this up.

okay so as for the aesthetic and animation of RBTI it was GORGEOUS!!! I love how Disney/Pixar can take things like the Internet or your brain (like in Inside Out) and turn them into working cities/structures that are creative and make sense! I really like that Pop Ups are maneuvered by sentient beings like street salespeople, since the feeling of online popups and ads is the same! Also, the Dark Web being the underbelly of the Internet “city” and all the avatars are dressed like theyre in Incognito mode is amazing. i also LOVED the viruses, since they looked like gross, scary, creepy fictional bugs or visual germs (they reminded me of Osmosis Jones in a way). How the viruses functioned, at least the Insecurity Virus, made sense for how I think most people imagine computer viruses to act. I honestly don’t know how that stuff happens, and I bet Disney knew most of their audiences dont either, so they took some artistic liberties with that in mind. But the virus was a clever plot device because it literally detected insecurities, both in that Ralph/Vanellope were insecure about their friendship, and neither of them “belonged” in the Internet.

ANOTHER THING is when Shank and her crew had to fight the Slaughter Race players, the distinction between player and NPC was clear and funny. It felt very GTA to me. How they handled Slaughter Race in general was great, since it was obviously a violent video game, but they didn’t tone it down too much to loose that feeling. I think it would’ve been cool to see cars and buildings “update” like they do in some games, too. OH the way that the Virus Ralphs joined together to make the Giant Ralph and that they kept moving to make the entire thing kinetic was SO CREEPY BUT COOL!!! that must have taken forever to animate.  I also noticed that on the Giant Ralph the little virus dudes were like laying down or posed a certain way to give the impression of different textures or colors on Giant Ralph, which is amazing!!! the filmmakers and animators paid so much care to the look and feel of this movie and it really paid off.

okay last few things before I forget: all of the main characters were great examples of positive and negative personality aspects that real people could reflect on. Ralph felt so much more openly emotional and body positive than in the first, which for a dude character is great!!  Vanellope has always been a great example of a girl who likes “tomboy” or “masculine” stuff but still likes cute and “girly” stuff (i mean she obviously wasn’t into the whole princess thing but she found her own way around it!). Felix and Tammy in RBTI were obviously an example on how married couples can still love each other just like the day they met! Did i mention how much I love Yesss? I love her SO MUCH!!! she wore a different outfit/hairstyle every time we saw her, she was fun and smart and over the course of the movie grows to actually care about Ralph and Vanellope beyond their Internet fame. the MUSIC was fantastic as always, and I love Imagine Dragon’s song and the Julia Michaels rendition of Vanellope’s song on Slaughter Race.

Just like the first one, this movie was funny, heartwarming, emotional, and really fun!! I hope it gets all the recognition and love it deserves. I can’t accurately say if I like this one of the previous better, since I’ve only seen it once. HOWEVER I ma really glad that Disney has made a lot of merch for RBTI since the first one got barely anything. All in all, I loved Ralph Breaks the Internet!!!!

P.S. Did yall see the after credits scene?

[robototron217]

Just finished captain marvel

SPOILERS AHEAD

DONT READ IF U WANNA WATCH

movie good

Marvel is such A COWARD (the company not carol)

One major complaint: she should have been LESBIAN YOU FOOLS!!!! How the FUCK do you put SO MUCH subtext in this movie about her and her poc "best friend" and not just call them lesbians?? They lived together in a house, with a kid they were raising, and throughout the movie they share many long and gay higs and i just...im baffled really. Im so confused that in 2019 theys still felt the need to throw in the "best friend" crap. Let them be gay. obviously its what theyre supposed to be.

Also, there was a cute meta joke where one of the bad guys tries to shoot her with a gun they find but its just a nerf gun with one side covered in soot. I feel like its a reference to the fact a lot of action movie Big Guns :tm: are actually just nerf guns painted black. I might be reading too far into that tho.

ALSO

I have never ever, even once, liked a mohawk on anybody ever but 👀 Carol Danvers can do whatever the fuck she wants cause apparently im just stupid and dont know what looks good.

Also also

There was a skrull alien about halfway through the movie at the end of act 2 or so whose ears were just...human? Ears? Like he was just shot and its supposed to be a heroic thing or whatever but i was so distracted by his ears just being white little human ears sticking straight out of his dark green skin. Didnt ruin the movie im just nitpicking.

There were some pacing issues in the first half where a lot of stuff happens really fast but then a 10 minute long fight scene that goes nowhere happens and then a lot more stuff happens really fast. I feel like they could have done less action-y stuff that feels like its there to just take up screen time and develop the connections between characters more. A lot of the emotional scenes and things that were supposed to be dramatic and impactful feel really unearned. Theres a scene about 40 minutes into it where two characters are having a really emotional talk. One character has been an emotional robot for 40 minutes and the other has been on screen for a total of 2 minutes and were supposed to care about them and this great moment of epic feels but i didnt feel like i knew them at all yet.

the actors who played the main cast performed spectacularly for the most part. sam jackson, brie larson, jude law, and ben mendels were all great. One actor though was all over the place though, lashana lynch. Some scenes she did really well but others she didnt really have anything to do. Some of her scenes were weirdly inconsistent. In the emotional scene i mentioned earlier she started crying and it lasted all of 5 seconds before the shot-reverse-shot cut away from her to brie and then back to lashana whos tears completely disappeared between cuts. Obviously thats not her fault but it really messed with the character she was playing.

Theres so much woman power stuff in this movie guys like wow its so good. If you have a daughter she needs to see this movie. I cant list them all but one of the main themes in the movie is carol "controlling" her emotions. All they actually want her to do is not feel at all and be submissive as hell and not do anything to show emotion at all. At the end, when she learns to embrace who she is and not to hide her emotions, she basically becomes 100x more powerful. And thats just one pro woman theme/subplot/tone in this movie. I can think of 12 off the top of my head but im probably missing another 30 i didnt pick up on and this isnt meant to be a list of those so ill just say please go see the movie. If you have a daughter who needs a role model and favorite movie, if you're in need of a confidence boost, if your a man who needs to be shown the stuff in this movie, its worth the price of admission.

Overall i really enjoyed this movie. Really really enjoyed it. Its not perfect, but perfection is boring and stupid and this is smart, colorful, progressive, and its a good time.

Idk why i wrote this.

8/10, go see it.

[musubiki]

I had a thought the other night. How do the Sevii Islands play into Leaf's story? If I remember correctly, a lot of this side plot happens after beating the E4, and given Leaf leaves not long after beating them I was curious. I hope you don't mind me asking!

no prob!!!!

➞

actually, leaf leaves about a year after beating the e4 (so one year there and 2 years abroad to make for the 3 year timeskip)

(im deadass i havnet played in the sevii islands for a while but ill try to post what i remember)

the main thing about the sevii islands for leaf was that. thats where green ran away to after he was beaten at the indigo plateau. after prof oak expressed his very clear disappointment and green having to. stand there and listen to his grandpa praise leaf on how she got there. he. fucking got on his pidgeot and left. 

no one knew where he went and he was missing for weeks. daisy got worried sick and during this time leaf got in a fight w/ prof oak and scolded him about the way he treats green because “He’s nothing like what you seem to think he is” 

and she’s right. prof oak is just bitter and scared that green would turn out the way Agatha did

side note backstory headcanon real quick: prof oak and Agatha were rivals when they were young. they went to the same school and were best friends and rivals just like green and leaf

and Agatha actually loved him but he didn’t see her that way because. he thought she was too obsessed with power (she was) and didnt like the way she treated her pokemon (it wasnt horrible, but she only really used them as tools to fight and he thought it was wrong)

so when he found his future wife (greens grandmother) she became angry and bitter and it strained theyre relationship a lot. eventually they just. hated each other 

so the reason why prof oak was always scolding green and “why dont you treat your pokemon nicer” and all that.,. shit he told him at the league.,.was because of that history he had

growing up he kind of projected onto green what agatha was (even though he was never really like that) which was why he was always discouraging him from becoming champion and why they had kind of a tense relationship when green went on his journey

so after prof oak was like. scolding green at the league. (i forget what he was saying something about how he was disappointed in him. even though he made it this far. all by himself. same as leaf. and he treated his pokemon fine.) leaf went to talk to him about this and that’s what sparked the fight + leaf learned the whole backstory™ from both him and agatha previously

so she scolds him on it. because. hes wrong and green really isnt like that. he loves his pokemon and the prof was wrong to treat him that way. so she tells him that shes gonna bring green home and when she does he better fix his attitude because by god green does not deserve this

and shes right

so daisy talks to bill, asks him if hes seen green. he tells her he heard he might be down at the sevii islands. so daisy begs him to bring leaf there to find green. and he says sure. on the condition, I get 3 boxes of oatmeal cookies

and shes yeah, sure, fine, whatever you want. so bill takes leaf to the sevii islands (hes always on the ss anne. he probably has like free tickets for life [thanks lance]) 

she finds green there. hes still pretty depressed but. he lowkey helps the older people that live there. when he first sees her its like this mess of emotions because. its leaf. (and this is post saffron keep in mind so hes still confused and messed up about how he feels about her) so hes. happy, angry, sad, proud, everything. luckily she convinces him to talk and though hes a mess, his tone comes out bitter

theyre like. probably in mt ember or something when this al happens bc no one else is around. she asks him to come home, he replies why should he when no one wants him there anyway. his gandpa hates him, he says, and shes probably rejoycing too that hes finally out her way and. here we go. they have another fight.

though its less like a fight and more like shes getting him to finally vent out everything hes been holding in because fuck. he always acts so tough and strong but he does still feel things. and hes the one yelling and angry and she just. keeps her voice soft and calm because. he is at this point. the weakest hes ever been (and ever will be until…..things……………..)

and so they fight about why he left, and how he cant stay there. and how daisy misses him and is worried. and how prof oak doesnt hate him, they just need to talk about it. and how she doesnt hate him, and she never did. and hes. shocked by the last part. and its just a deep and kind of sad talk between them and also. the point where green sees her more of a friend than a rival.

and at the end of this hes sitting down and hes like. not even angry or depressed hes just fucjifnd sad and disapointed in himself and he thinks hes disapointed eveyone and leaf just. hugs him around his neck. tightly. and hes caught off gaurd. hes just sitting there with his hands awkwardly hovering. 

and she tells him that they all miss him. and theyre all worried for him. and he hasnt dispointed anyone. and that everyone is proud of him and everything hes done. and that. shes proud of him. and she wants him to come back with her and hes just.,., “.,…////..//./..,.” 

and he finally. hugs her back. and. burried his face in her neck and. just melts into her. and they stay like that for a while and hes. happy shes here for him so he decides fine, ill come home. because fuck it, i cant run from this forever. might as well get it over with. fuck. its worth it if i can maybe get more moments like this, he thinks

and then of course. bill comes in. and inturrupts. and “Oh there you guys are- oh.” because THEYRE STILL LIKE. IN AN EMBRACE. 

AND LEAF BLUSHES AND PANICS AND TRIES TO PUSH GREEN AWAY but green is. no. his arms are LOCKED around her . he aint ready for her to leave him yet. bill can fuck off

eventually they go back to the ss anne to head home and green is. still green. so hes like you know what. im gonna use this situation to my fullest advantage. because he really liked that hug. and he. acknowledges the fact that. when hes close to her like that its. nice. 

so that night fnhjdfj forgive me folks. he goes to her room to hang out. and shes like yay!!! hes getting back to normal!!! thank arceus!!! and theyre chilling on her bed like. watching tv or talking or something. and hes probably using her lap as a pillow hes a spsidl spoiled fucking brat. and when it comes time for him to leave and go back to his own room hes like. how about i stay here instead

and shes like,,.,., what.,.. ?

and so he pulls this bullshit pitty card shit (i hte him) about how hes sad (hes not anymore) and he doesnt wanna be alone (big fucking liar) so he wants to stay therw tih her. and at this point hes like fuckingnjfkd cuddling up to her and shit and shes “U-uhh..i d-….don’t…know if this.,. uhhh” shes a blushing mess, mind you

and fyi, hes been thinking about saffron like., 90% of the time ever since it happened. he cant get it out of his head. ever

so he has his like arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her belly and hes. fucking. (i HATE HIM) giving her these like puppy dog eyes????? AND SHES WEAK ALREADY. AND HE ADDS THIS SOFT LIKE “Please, Leaf?” 

so shes ok,. fine ,,.,.. and he immediately goes back to his shit snarky self and adds something along the lines of “I knew you’d come around/give in eventually/couldn’t resist me” and shes blushing and stuttering and a total mess and hes just grinning and teasing her he loves her reactions and. theyre back baby.

meanwhile. pom is happy. the gang is back together and vee is pretend gagging. pom punches him

when they get back to pallet town, leaf brings green to talk to prof oak. and the talk actually goes good. prof oak tells him his whole story(he’d never told them before) and apologizes for the way hes acted. and hopes that green would consider like. spending more time together. and hopes he can forgive him(ofc its yes. green loves his gramps despite everything)

he tells green that leaf is one amazing girl

green blushes because HAHAHAAhahhhaha ye. a h… she is.,…………..fuc k../

from this point the mew/two adventure/subplot takes off 

and bill gets his cookies too. she only made him 2 boxes and he writes her an official comlpaint letter

[hgfstreamchats]

The Room

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. Jalaperilo: Hello! Knock Out: Hello, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo: *squints* Jalaperilo: what the hell? Knock Out: I have no clue. Jalaperilo: haha Jalaperilo: who made you do this? Knock Out: Excellent question. Jalaperilo: somehow, this isn't worst than The Room? Knock Out: Oh, that's encouraging. Jalaperilo: Oh doc, you're in for a treat Knock Out: I can't wait.

Jalaperilo: the first time I watched this was also on a random stream i found. it was also the stream where I found the epic horror that is Re-Animator Knock Out: Which we also need to stream someday. Knock Out: Are...are they all interfacing with each other? Jalaperilo: please dont judge human interfacing on this film Knock Out: No promises. Knock Out: Dear Unicron, get on with it. Jalaperilo: im dying Knock Out: Gah! Jalaperilo: i have my head in my hands Knock Out: That was completely relevant and necessary. Jalaperilo: just like this movie Jalaperilo: cause hes terrible in bed Knock Out: What, humans don't like spastic little hip twitches? Jalaperilo: that arent in the vicinity of where they should actually be thrusting? Knock Out: He tried. Sort of. Jalaperilo: does he get a gold star with 'you tried' on it? Knock Out: He gets one of the lopsided ones. Matches his technique. Jalaperilo: hahah! Knock Out: Gladly. Jalaperilo: hehe Jalaperilo: oh no. please dont. he's my friend *DOES NOTHING TO RESIST SLEEPING WITH HER* Knock Out: Way to stick to your guns there, human we just met. Jalaperilo: he has the breaking strain of a kit kat Knock Out: Hah! Knock Out: What actually is he supposed to be penetrating? Knock Out: *exactly Jalaperilo: unless she has some weird random holes in her, i dont know what theyre stabbing at Knock Out: That's the plot twist. Jalaperilo: thats she's actually a sponge Knock Out: Or in possession of some kind of prehensile protein sleeve. Jalaperilo: erg Knock Out: Go back to the fat pug. Jalaperilo: this kid is creepy Knock Out: He grew up to be one of the sex offender shufflers. Jalaperilo: hahah! Jalaperilo: she ordwered the worst pizza Knock Out: Isn't that supposed to be one of those human foods you can't ruin? Knock Out: And yet, somehow, she did? Jalaperilo: please dont maake love again Knock Out: Oh, please, no. Not again. Knock Out: Have mercy. Jalaperilo: you cant get away ko Jalaperilo: we both have to live with this Knock Out: We have to live with his sloppy twitches. thenightetc: ...What did I walk in on Jalaperilo: get out while you can Jalaperilo: hello btw Knock Out: Run, and live well. Knock Out: And hello. thenightetc: (Lost track of time and tumblr decided not to alert me that there were new posts!  :') ) Jalaperilo: blah blah blah btw i have cancer. anyway.... thenightetc: the acting is really... something. Jalaperilo: have you never seen this before either? Jalaperilo: you're in for as right treat thenightetc: I have not.  I've just heard it's notoriously terrible thenightetc: It's the... Wisseau thing right? Knock Out: It is indeed. Jalaperilo: yes Knock Out: Who's this unfortunate soul? thenightetc: :( Jalaperilo: urgh thenightetc: I was 80% sure that was leading up to murder thenightetc: Just felt like one of those scenes, y'know? Jalaperilo: probably would have done the plot a favour with a murder or two Knock Out: That makes it worse! Cardinal: Hello, hello! Knock Out: Cardinal! How good to see you! Jalaperilo: hello! Knock Out: But how tragic you're here. thenightetc: So, ah, what all did I miss in terms of plot? thenightetc: ...Oh?  Murder time NOW? Jalaperilo: tommy is the best ever, lisa hates him one minute and loves him the next Jalaperilo: you also missed2 bad sex scenes Jalaperilo: there is no cohearent plot Cardinal: I see what you mean by tragic. thenightetc: He was JUST yelling about money, it's obvious "what he wants" Jalaperilo: how does one accidentally buy drugs lol thenightetc: Where did that guy come from Knock Out: They obviously care deeply for the 36 year old man they adopted. Jalaperilo: haha thenightetc: oh no Jalaperilo: stop making aliens think humans are terrible at sex! thenightetc: Please tell me they're not going to phone sex now Starscreamapillar: Good, I have not missed out on too much madness. Knock Out: No, just several abysmal fragging scenes. Knock Out: Welcome to the disaster, by the way. Cardinal: Oh, did I miss the stair sex? Cardinal: ha ha ha what a story mark Starscreamapillar: I am not at all displeased to have missed out on those. Jalaperilo: lucky you cardinal thenightetc: Yes count your blessings Knock Out: What a charmer. Jalaperilo: thanks for dissing my gender thenightetc: I wish they'd both fall off the roof. Starscreamapillar: This human learned how to speak from the Internet, didn't he. Knock Out: Shuut Cardinal: *gun fingers* shuut thenightetc: What is he implying here Jalaperilo: there is a big theory on the net that tommy wiseau isnt actually human Cardinal: hahn? Knock Out: That's...actually quite plausible? thenightetc: It's not nice to mock whatever speech impediment or accent or whatever he has, guys. Starscreamapillar: Are conversations normally carried out at a recline like that? thenightetc: Why is her friend all shocked that she doesn't want to marry the guy who hit her thenightetc: Terrible friend Jalaperilo: this is how humans emote yes? Starscreamapillar: Apparently. FeralDog: goonai lisa Starscreamapillar: Ah yes. They are in the totally real alley. Cardinal: Of course! FeralDog: this looks so.... buffy the vampire slayer knockoff FeralDog: I keep expecting the undead to strike thenightetc: I keep hoping for the undead to strike. FeralDog: you know... Knock Out: This movie is like a victim of head trauma, dazed and wandering through a field somewhere. FeralDog: there supposedly was a vampire subplot that Wiseau nixed? Jalaperilo: hyoomans throw football as bonding yes? Cardinal: ((Apparently Tommy Wiseau did originally want to enter onto the roof on a flying car Cardinal: ((and--yeah, the vampire reveal)) thenightetc: Oh boy!  Is he dying Cardinal: ((But he didn't nix it, he wanted it Cardinal: ((they talked him out of it Starscreamapillar: And then he ate that younger man. Jalaperilo: he ends up eating somethign alright thenightetc: ...well, that's not alarming Jalaperilo: the only plot this film has is everyone is terrible except tommy who is perfect Starscreamapillar: Somehow I get the feeling even watching this from the beginning wouldn't have it make any more sense. FeralDog: he's not even looking at the psych Starscreamapillar: I doubt that man's credentials. FeralDog: he says dejectedly Jalaperilo: time to tell us how *** women are? FeralDog: yep Cardinal: oh no the psychologist knows thenightetc: Johnny does sort of look like he's halfheartedly dressing up as a vampire Cardinal: "Can I meet the married woman you're boinking?" thenightetc: Totally normal question to ask Knock Out: I feel like I've blown a neural circuit. Jalaperilo: you made love twivce in this film already FeralDog: You keep playing psychologist with us! now let me ask you questions a psychologist should answer! Cardinal: Shh, shhhh.  Let the words eat away at your processor.  The pain will recede soon. Jalaperilo: cheep cheep cheep thenightetc: oh god Starscreamapillar: .... Cardinal: cheep cheep cheep thenightetc: is he going to--No, I guess not Cardinal: I NEVER ATE SO MUCH FeralDog: the only sane comment Jalaperilo: *wink* FeralDog: this sounds like he's making it up as  he goes and the music is not helping thenightetc: ...I don't think that's how checks work Jalaperilo: just ndissing the *** outta you lisa Starscreamapillar: I don't think any of this is how it works. Cardinal: Denny why are you sitting on the floor Starscreamapillar: Sit on the floor, with the front door open. Jalaperilo: denny asked her for a kiss earlier thenightetc: Do iiiiiiit FeralDog: i almost feel like the vampire subplot would make this make sense. in a he's hypnotized too many people and now can't keep control of the illusions so the wor;d's gone mad around him,,,,,, Jalaperilo: is knock out still with us or did he actually fry his processor? Starscreamapillar: I envy him if he did brown out. This is painful. Knock Out: Theoretically, I'm still here. Jalaperilo: sorry i tried to throw you off a building? Jalaperilo: good. was worried you'd left us to suffer on our own FeralDog: yeah, man it's totally fine. happens all the time Cardinal: He already knows your secret. Cardinal: I'm so depressed bro Jalaperilo: aint we all? Starscreamapillar: That small door. thenightetc: The roof bothers me more.  Looks so fake. Jalaperilo: none of these suits fit even slightly Cardinal: *ominous music*  He shaaaved Starscreamapillar: They found the suits in a box in their fake alley. FeralDog: wwwwwwwwwhat Cardinal: . . . . . Jalaperilo: lol Cardinal: well Cardinal: I wish Trogdor were here to see this. Cardinal: Maybe he could make sense of it. Jalaperilo: is tommy trogdor's holoavatar? Knock Out: Fact! Starscreamapillar: Did they have a reason to be wearing tuxedos earlier? thenightetc: Maybe they were trying them on to make sure they fit? Cardinal: . . . nice segue. Starscreamapillar: No one paid for those drinks. Starscreamapillar: Drat. Now I must suffer through this. Jalaperilo: god Knock Out: For the love of Unicron, no. Cardinal: Shield your optics! Jalaperilo: can unicron come eat us? Starscreamapillar: I think exploding again would be less painful than this. FeralDog: do we really need to see the ENTIRE sex scene FeralDog: a fadeout would be appreciated Starscreamapillar: How is this still going on?! Jalaperilo: in all 4? sex scenes, no one seems to have thrust anywhere near her vagine Knock Out: What I tell you? Protein sleeve. Jalaperilo: oh year lol Jalaperilo: *yeah FeralDog: more football based bonding Starscreamapillar: I feel as though you could replace these actors with golden retreivers and lose nothing. Jalaperilo: 'i saw a hyooman program with this so all hyoomans do this bonding' Knock Out: Please, no. Cardinal: AGAIN? thenightetc: Again?! Knock Out: Not again. No more. Cardinal: *weeps quietly* thenightetc: Please let something burst in and eat them Knock Out: Oh, thank you! Cardinal: Wow, Lisa. Jalaperilo: was there anything like this on cybertron? thenightetc: Some of the audio seems a little... desynched or something thenightetc: Is this... dubbed? Starscreamapillar: If there was, I certainly didn't watch it. Knock Out: I think this might be one of those "once in a universe" things. Jalaperilo: *** Jalaperilo: we really are the worst species Cardinal: Well, you are the spawn of Unicron. Knock Out: Take a bow. thenightetc: Excuse me, I'm not taking the blame for this movie. thenightetc: How dare. Jalaperilo: us all watching this now are now linked in a shared, horrific experience Starscreamapillar: As if I didn't already have enough horrifying experiences in my life. Jalaperilo: i like being the spawn of another species' devil thenightetc: ...Yikes thenightetc: What the *** Starscreamapillar: The film's writer clearly had some unresolved issues. thenightetc: You think? Jalaperilo: would you believe that tommy wiseau wrote ANd sirected AND acted in this? Jalaperilo: *directed Cardinal: Yes. Knock Out: And funded it, and apparently no one knows how. Starscreamapillar: Yes. Yes I would. Jalaperilo: alien money Cardinal: Deal with Unicron. Jalaperilo: probably traded a load of shanix with a skuxxoid Starscreamapillar: Are you certain he didn't kidnap these people, and force them to be in his film? thenightetc: Oh god, they're going to sneak off for another sex scene, aren't thy Starscreamapillar: 'Sneak'? thenightetc: Well. Cardinal: As Shockwave would say, "illogical." Jalaperilo: shockwave would shutdown at this film Cardinal: . . . Cardinal: I'm going to show it to him. Cardinal: Whoa, someone did the impossible and came BACK into the house. Knock Out: Sensitive with genuine human emotions. Cardinal: Leave your STUPID comments in your pocket! thenightetc: That's where I keep all *my* stupid comments. Cardinal: Good thinking!  Inviting my friends! Cardinal: What are they doing outside? Cardinal: I just? Cardinal: Alternate, help. Jalaperilo: cardinal is crashing lol thenightetc: Oh god. Knock Out: I can't help you. I'm so very, very sorry. Knock Out: I'm lost. I'm gone. Cardinal: *whimpers* thenightetc: *facepalm* Starscreamapillar: Surely he won't be able to count to nine months from now. Jalaperilo: haha thenightetc: That guy does look sort of like Xander Knock Out: Who *are* you? Jalaperilo: i think they swapped out an actor Starscreamapillar: No one will notice this loud conversation in public about her cheating. Knock Out: Doesn't matter, had cake. Jalaperilo: haha! thenightetc: They're hardly subtle about it.  Maybe everyone already knows. Cardinal: What do you mean, look at this subterfuge Cardinal: What do you mean, look at this subterfuge Jalaperilo: what planet IS he from? thenightetc: What do you mean, I always slow dance with my platonic friends Knock Out: I've spent the last hour pondering that same question. Starscreamapillar: He is fed up with this world. Knock Out: Most alien species that can mimic other species tend to be good at it. thenightetc: Hey, you know what would be funny after this? Knock Out: What? Jalaperilo: icepick lobotomy> Jalaperilo: ? Cardinal: "And I DEFINITELY have breast cancer." thenightetc: Just look for "arrested development chicken dance" on youtube Knock Out: Consider it done. thenightetc: I'm sure there are a BUNCH of clips caffienatedglitter: henlo Starscreamapillar: Someone had better end up murdered at the end of this. Knock Out: I hope it's me. thenightetc: For some reason I'd gotten the impression this was a horror movie Jalaperilo: you may just get your wish tonight screamy Starscreamapillar: The horror is in sitting through it. caffienatedglitter: oh god caffienatedglitter: EWWWW Starscreamapillar: Do Not call me that. thenightetc: :( Knock Out: I think we can agree we've all lost something precious tonight. caffienatedglitter: what did i walk in on Jalaperilo: you are the lucky one, to only suffer the end of this caffienatedglitter: how is the audio from the other end of the phone line so clear thenightetc: ...He already knew they were cheating together though? caffienatedglitter: what is his accent thenightetc: https://www.reddit.com/r/linguistics/comments/1gs6ol/what_the_heck_is_going_on_with_tommy_wiseaus_voice/ caffienatedglitter: he angery thenightetc: Not sure if there's an actual answer there, per se caffienatedglitter: he screm Thebes: Oh man, I appear to have been late to the worst movie thenightetc: You are correct caffienatedglitter: KNOCKING THINGS OVER IS THE ONLY WAY A MOVIE CHARACTER CAN EXPRESS ANGER thenightetc: Chew that scenery!  CHEW thenightetc: Aren't they just upstairs from him?  Can't they hear this going on? Thebes: How delicately he moves those bedsheets Starscreamapillar: I am disappointed at the lack of murder spree. Jalaperilo: this is more acting than the rest of the film thenightetc: Uh caffienatedglitter: ewwwww thenightetc: Why this Jalaperilo: i forgot that bit! Cardinal: . . . caffienatedglitter: ewvwwhw wnvjhwvg' Thebes: I think this is ... supposed to be pathos? caffienatedglitter: oh god caffienatedglitter: dude stop Cardinal: I've been asking myself the same thing. caffienatedglitter: holy Knock Out: FRAG. caffienatedglitter: he's dead Thebes: yes. yes he is. thenightetc: dramatic slow-mo caffienatedglitter: ... caffienatedglitter: YAAAAAAAAAAAY Jalaperilo: well at least he got his daily amount of iron? caffienatedglitter: no, he's sleeping Starscreamapillar: Yes, just put your hand right in that. thenightetc: Yeah, get his blood all over your hands caffienatedglitter: so many diseases Jalaperilo: bet you werent expecting that Doc thenightetc: Disturb the scene a little more Thebes: PATHOS caffienatedglitter: seriously pathogens love to travel through blood Knock Out: I can honestly say I wasn't. caffienatedglitter: what do you mean you lost him YOU DUMPED HIM caffienatedglitter: ALSO MARK DIDNT YOU WANT TO SEX HER BEFORE Thebes: YES. YES HE DID Cardinal: LEAVE US thenightetc: Wow Knock Out: Don't leave that one alone with the body! Jalaperilo: this whole film is about tommy's messiah complex caffienatedglitter: CALL THE COPS caffienatedglitter: CALL THE COIPS YOU IDIOTS Jalaperilo: knock out! haha thenightetc: No, no, they'll want to handle the gun a bit first too thenightetc: Get their fingerprints all over it caffienatedglitter: i tyhought he saids he didnt have any friends now everyones sobbin over his body caffienatedglitter: piugblswk caffienatedglitter: ive only been here for TEWO MINUTES Thebes: WAIT Cardinal: Amazing. Thebes: HE WAS GRABBING HER HAIR caffienatedglitter: WHY Starscreamapillar: Well, that was about as bad as having my head blown off again. caffienatedglitter: WHAT IS THIS MUSIC caffienatedglitter: INAPROPRIATE MUCH Jalaperilo: sexytimes on the corpse music FeralDog: good god Thebes: There's appropriate anything in this movie? Knock Out: Denny is there also. caffienatedglitter: "assistant to mr. wiseau"???? five people??? FeralDog: I feel like I just survived a deadly fever caffienatedglitter: those poor performers Jalaperilo: they were the five humans that taught him how to act like one of us Thebes: oh, man, there's abook about the weird, troubled production of this movie. It's so out there it's getting made into its own movie caffienatedglitter: i wish i'd gotten here earlier thenightetc: You shouldn't. caffienatedglitter: you misunderstand caffienatedglitter: i am a masochist caffienatedglitter: more assisstants jesus caffienatedglitter: welp caffienatedglitter: is that it Knock Out: The assistants were there to keep the Wiseau human from poking himself. caffienatedglitter: oh dear Thebes: yeah you missed the bit about Denny being into drugs and the bizarre casual cancer subplot caffienatedglitter: the room is a meme, i know the basic plot caffienatedglitter: wait caffienatedglitter: cancer caffienatedglitter: WHEN DID CANCER GET INVOLVED thenightetc: Yeah, there was cancer Jalaperilo: the mum is all i'm dying, its deffo cancer, andyway, marry tommy FeralDog: This lady casually announced that she had breast cancer caffienatedglitter: ooooh right caffienatedglitter: what Knock Out: I just take the suggestions, I don't question them. caffienatedglitter: at least it isn't the cheeeep cheep cheep thenightetc: They ALL have one caffienatedglitter: cheeep chepchepcheepcheep Starscreamapillar: . . . . caffienatedglitter: wait caffienatedglitter: frag for a second i thought his voice was robin williams Knock Out: ... Knock Out: ... Knock Out: ...Well, this has been an enlightening evening. Starscreamapillar: I think that's misrepresentative. Jalaperilo: well. its 3am here. i hope you appreciate my sacrifice to watch that film Jalaperilo: goodnight all! Knock Out: I do. caffienatedglitter: it's only 10:00 here Knock Out: Goodnight! FeralDog: 7:00 here FeralDog: https://xkcd.com/1400/ thenightetc: Awwww, the chicken dance bit is great though.  Even if that was a little poorly edited together. FeralDog: ^relelvant! Thebes: ikr? caffienatedglitter: my god Knock Out: Makes sense to me. thenightetc: Huh. Thebes: ... there's a trailer for a movie where someone is paid to act as Tommy Wiseau FeralDog: oh dear god thenightetc: ...Not sure if I want to see that or not. caffienatedglitter: that or he's the devil made flesg Knock Out: You can't replicate what's going on with this human (?). And no one ever should. thenightetc: That would explain why he looks slightly uncanny Thebes: they get weirdly close. The Disaster Artist trailer, if you want to see for yourself caffienatedglitter: he looks like he's a collage of body parts cut froma magazine caffienatedglitter: but 3d Knock Out: My credits are still on "alien." caffienatedglitter: and also a pervet thenightetc: I read that as "flaming disaster" Starscreamapillar: I think he is a mimic of some kind. Starscreamapillar: And the football is there. Of course. Thebes: it kinda was? Like it's based off the book The Disaster Artist, which is entirely about trying to get this weird alien sock puppet to act thenightetc: Oh god, I didn't notice. caffienatedglitter: is that actually him caffienatedglitter: does he actually think people like this unironically FeralDog: maybe he's one of the fair folk. But he's bad at it. Thebes: maybe he's a bunch of groundhogs trying to pilot a human Knock Out: I like the news scrolling by. caffienatedglitter: they're trying Knock Out: "Also, some humans died or something." thenightetc: "Like us on Facebook!" Thebes: yeah, kinda. Underscores this. caffienatedglitter: it's a special kind of *** caffienatedglitter: jesus he's like caffienatedglitter: idk thenightetc: Yeah, sports references, that's what I look for in a movie Thebes: how is he keeping a straight face Starscreamapillar: His sunglasses are unsettling. Knock Out: He's hiding something behind there. I'm not certain I want to know what. thenightetc: Soundwave's visor. caffienatedglitter: he's hiding madness, and not very well Knock Out: Tommy Wiseau confirmed for Soundwave. caffienatedglitter: YOU STUDIED PSYCHOLOGY caffienatedglitter: NO caffienatedglitter: BULL caffienatedglitter: what is this thenightetc: We've all been where now? Starscreamapillar: His insane word-salad rambling. caffienatedglitter: is he a human???? caffienatedglitter: knock out please advise thenightetc: The other guy looks so embarassed Knock Out: No advice. He landed on your planet, he's your problem. Starscreamapillar: The other guy is likely concerned if he upsets Wiseau that he wil be consumed. Thebes: I would be thenightetc: Yeah, he does look like he could just unhinge his jaw and, y'know... caffienatedglitter: ubigowj caffienatedglitter: but he's scary caffienatedglitter: he talks like he's got marbled in his mouth Knock Out: If you have to ask, the answer is probably "Tommy Wiseau can most definitely unhinge his jaw and kill some people." caffienatedglitter: HES A SNAKE Starscreamapillar: Snakes do not talk so much. thenightetc: Lime green shirt with matching lime green tie :( Thebes: it's like he agressively doesn't care. caffienatedglitter: this is not a man of earthly cares caffienatedglitter: oh god what'sthis Starscreamapillar: He only cares for how many souls he can harvest, and how much flesh he can consume. thenightetc: SOUNDS LEGIT thenightetc: Is that a hearse Starscreamapillar: Yes. caffienatedglitter: "family kidnapped by ninjas" yeah totally believable caffienatedglitter: ew caffienatedglitter: what\ caffienatedglitter: EWWWWWWWWW thenightetc: What the *** Knock Out: Alright, enough of that. caffienatedglitter: HE IS THE EATER OF FLESH Thebes: what was THAT caffienatedglitter: I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS Knock Out: Tommy Wiseau is clearly a dangerous entity. Starscreamapillar: I feel the pressing need to awaken Unicron, so he can shake off the Earth and ensure Wiseau's destruction. thenightetc: Er caffienatedglitter: how well did that work out for you last time Knock Out: There we go. Much better. Starscreamapillar: Just because it didn't work out for my alternates does not mean it may not work out for me. caffienatedglitter: oh right caffienatedglitter: alternate universes caffienatedglitter: still though caffienatedglitter: starscreams are universally jinxed thenightetc: This actually looks familiar.  Huh Starscreamapillar: I know. caffienatedglitter: Is this car porn Starscreamapillar: But I strive to escape whatever unpleasant fate is in store for me. caffienatedglitter: car porn is pretty chill caffienatedglitter: lol jk Smokescreen: woojit woojit no thenightetc: Nice and relaxing, except when they jerk the camera around. Smokescreen: dont watch the room Knock Out: I just needed to end the night on something other than the question of how many pounds of human flesh Tommy Wiseau can fit in his hollow abdomen. Knock Out: Too late. Smokescreen: .... wait did i miss thenightetc: Too late!  We saw the whole thing! caffienatedglitter: o hai smokescreen Smokescreen: ARGHHGHG Smokescreen: did you like it Smokescreen: Hey! caffienatedglitter: it's the room thenightetc: I don't think it's really something you "like" caffienatedglitter: exactly Smokescreen: Was it... Was it an experience? caffienatedglitter: technically caffienatedglitter: yes Starscreamapillar: It was an experience in madness. thenightetc: Everything is an experience. Smokescreen: it sure was a movie, right? caffienatedglitter: no caffienatedglitter: not particularly Starscreamapillar: It being a movie is debatable. thenightetc: In the broadest possible sense. Smokescreen: a film? caffienatedglitter: it was a venture intop insanity Knock Out: It was a whole lot of something. Thebes: it was filmed. I would hesitate to call it a film Smokescreen: someone sure recorded it on a camera! Thebes: technically Smokescreen: hey woojit have you ever been in a sauna before Knock Out: I think so? Smokescreen: How was it? caffienatedglitter: why are you asking? caffienatedglitter: sorry im curious\ Smokescreen: I've got one, and I wasn't sure what to do with it! caffienatedglitter: nvm Knock Out: You sit, you turn up the heat, you cycle special smoke meant to clean out your vents. There are other things I'd rather spend credits on at the bath houses, but it was nice enough. caffienatedglitter: wait whjat caffienatedglitter: lol jk Smokescreen: woojit woojit no thenightetc: Nice and relaxing, except when they jerk the camera around. Smokescreen: dont watch the room Knock Out: I just needed to end the night on something other than the question of how many pounds of human flesh Tommy Wiseau can fit in his hollow abdomen. Knock Out: Too late. Smokescreen: .... wait did i miss thenightetc: Too late!  We saw the whole thing! caffienatedglitter: o hai smokescreen Smokescreen: ARGHHGHG Smokescreen: did you like it Smokescreen: Hey! caffienatedglitter: it's the room thenightetc: I don't think it's really something you "like" caffienatedglitter: exactly Smokescreen: Was it... Was it an experience? caffienatedglitter: technically caffienatedglitter: yes Starscreamapillar: It was an experience in madness. thenightetc: Everything is an experience. Smokescreen: it sure was a movie, right? caffienatedglitter: no caffienatedglitter: not particularly Starscreamapillar: It being a movie is debatable. thenightetc: In the broadest possible sense. Smokescreen: a film? caffienatedglitter: it was a venture intop insanity Knock Out: It was a whole lot of something. Thebes: it was filmed. I would hesitate to call it a film Smokescreen: someone sure recorded it on a camera! Thebes: technically Smokescreen: hey woojit have you ever been in a sauna before Knock Out: I think so? Smokescreen: How was it? caffienatedglitter: why are you asking? caffienatedglitter: sorry im curious\ Smokescreen: I've got one, and I wasn't sure what to do with it! caffienatedglitter: nvm Knock Out: You sit, you turn up the heat, you cycle special smoke meant to clean out your vents. There are other things I'd rather spend credits on at the bath houses, but it was nice enough. caffienatedglitter: wait whjat caffienatedglitter: WHERE DID YOU GET A SAUNA Smokescreen: also if woojit wants to use this sauna I was gifted caffienatedglitter: WHERE DID YOU GET A GIANT SAUNA Smokescreen: I don't know! It was a gift! I'm kinda suspicious which is also why I'm offering Woojit a whirl in it! Knock Out: Suspicious bath house? I'm sold. thenightetc: Gosh, hope it's not cursed or something. caffienatedglitter: DUDE caffienatedglitter: THERE'S PROBABLY A CAMERA IN IT OR A BOMB Starscreamapillar: Why would a camera matter? Knock Out: Lucky camera. Smokescreen: Awesome! I'll promise to fix you up if it goes horribly wrong but hopefully it won't Smokescreen: wouldn't the lens get covered in steam? Knock Out: Excellent! caffienatedglitter: oh right caffienatedglitter: giant robots caffienatedglitter: nudity isnt a thing Starscreamapillar: Not really, no. caffienatedglitter: eh Smokescreen: woojit i found this anime also i've been meaning to watch and i need thosughts Knock Out: Yes? Smokescreen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVPnaHRgNb8 caffienatedglitter: ooooh knockout you should stream death parade thenightetc: Oh, I love that show!  In a way. caffienatedglitter: oh my god thenightetc: ^Initial D thenightetc: Haven't seen Death Parade caffienatedglitter: it's amazing Knock Out: Yes. Knock Out: Whatever this is, yes. caffienatedglitter: it's only a few episodes long, so Thebes: Initial D is awesome, caffienatedglitter: what is this thenightetc: But you have to not mind the animation. caffienatedglitter: HIS FACE Smokescreen: the humans look dead inside thenightetc: Yeah they do a lot of that thenightetc: You get used ot it Smokescreen: ... are they actually humans or just holo-matter avatars? Smokescreen: i've seen avatars with faces like that Knock Out: Who cares? Smokescreen: true caffienatedglitter: technically they are anime caffienatedglitter: not hoomans Smokescreen: am i anime caffienatedglitter: no you're american animaation Smokescreen: what Smokescreen: i'm not american Smokescreen: i'm praxian caffienatedglitter: your show isn't Smokescreen: WOOJIT HIGHER VOLUMNE Smokescreen: RAISE THE VOLUME thenightetc: And they're proud of that terrible animation, too, lots of closeups of misshapen dead-eyed faces Thebes: all the humans are in love with their cars and will go to absurd lengths to show it Smokescreen: thank you woojit Smokescreen: good Smokescreen: they should love their cars caffienatedglitter: um Starscreamapillar: Is it uncomfortable to squeal your tires like that? caffienatedglitter: smokescreen splease rephrase Smokescreen: it feels good to me! caffienatedglitter: unfortuinate implications Smokescreen: Uhhh- they should adore their cars? caffienatedglitter: smokescreen Smokescreen: what Smokescreen: I don't see the problem! Knock Out: It's not comfortable, but worth it for the sake of drifting. thenightetc: Oh believe me there is drifting in this show :) Thebes: and for wiping a smug smirk off someone's face? Thebes: because there's lots of that too Smokescreen: woojit woojit what if: we raced and played this kinda music at top volume to recreate this stuff caffienatedglitter: NO Smokescreen: but caffienatedglitter: BAD IDEA caffienatedglitter: RECREATING ANIME ONLY BRINGS PAIN Smokescreen: but Smokescreen: :( Knock Out: I'm not hearing a downside! Thebes: This anime is basically nothing but car appreciation and winning races in a way that's petty and satisfying Knock Out: Let's do it! thenightetc: It totally is. caffienatedglitter: knockout you have doomed yoursel Smokescreen: I probably won't be able to do it now, but sometime soon, we gotta! Knock Out: It's a date! thenightetc: Haha, have fun! caffienatedglitter: you fools you will invite them into our world, they will consume reality Smokescreen: I'll look for places with turns like these, too Knock Out: Perfect! Knock Out: That seems a marvelous place to pack it in for tonight. caffienatedglitter: lovely caffienatedglitter: goodnight Knock Out: Goodnight, everyone! Smokescreen: Sounds good. Night, everyone! Knock Out: Thank you for enduring this with me. caffienatedglitter: try not to turn the multiverse into a singularity thenightetc: This was good fun; thanks for the stream. :) Starscreamapillar: I am not sure I should thank you for exposing me to the horror of the Room. Starscreamapillar: Goodnight, and may I be able to atend again in the future. thenightetc: Goodnight! Knock Out: Here's hoping! Smokescreen: Hopefully, I can get here on time one day! Thebes: nighy!

[thebibliomancer]

100 Days of Comics! 030/100: Fantastic Four #583 (2010)

Oh hey! Today’s rummage into the box of 100 mystery comics brings us the first family and also Jonathan Hickman! 

I’ll have more to say about that later.

Here’s some context from this beautiful combination cast and recap page. So Fantastic Four. Reed discovered the Council of Ricks Reeds but turned down their offer of membership. Also, the Fantastic Four discovered the Forgotten City of the High Evolutionary, which has risen to the surface of the Earth from Subterranea. Also also, due to events in another book entirely, Dr. Doom has lost his great intelligence.

There are two main plot threads and they skip around a bunch. But I’m going to ruin all that and just summarize them in blocks.

The Fantastic Four are fighting cavemen? in the neutral zone between US territory and that claimed by the Forever (or Forgotten?) City. And things are not going super well. Ben’s faceplate gets cracked which means that devolving radiation makes his head grow bulbous. What a revoltin’ development.

With the evolutionary engine potentially able to cause a cascading evolutionary effect for hundreds of miles, Reed decides there’s no time for subtlety.

He has Sue put a force-field around the whole city and then has Johnny go nova to burn off all the oxygen. Everyone asphyxiates and passes out leaving the FF free to disable the engine and have a stern talk with the ruling council about how to be a good neighbor.

They return to the Baxter building, Johnny ribbing Ben about marketing his new swollen head look. Reed asks daughter Valeria if anything happened while they were gone and with a terrifying smile she says nothing she couldn’t handle.

Except interspersed, we’ve seen what she’s been up to. She’s been sneaking around the Baxter Building to see what Reed has been working on in secret. Snarking on the security as she goes. “Really, dad...? I wouldn’t actually call this security... I’ve got to upgrade all of this or I’m not going to be able to sleep at night.”

She finds Reed’s interdimensional gate, called the Bridge, and his narcissitic holographic logs which explain about the Council of Reeds and how he turned down their offer because those Reeds abandoned all else, including their family, in pursuit of... the greater good.

She then pops over to Latvaria, as ya do, where Dr Doom is abdicating his throne because of his recent dumbification. Valeria tells him “Daddy went and built a very bad machine and forgot to tell anyone... guess who just found it.” And also “I asked myself... ‘What would Uncle Doom do?’“ Again with her terrifying cursed child smile.

Valeria had stepped through the gate and we see her terrible journey and I thiiiink the destruction of the Council of Reeds. She says “When having to decide between personal happiness and the good of the world, how could he rationalize such a selfish decision?”

Anyway, now after the point where Reed asked her if anything exciting happened that day do we flashback to what she asked Doom. In exchange for restoring his intelligence, Valeria makes Doom promise to help RICHARDSSSSSSS when inevitably the shit hits the fan.

Speaking of shit hitting the fan, the last pages have the Silver Surfer find the dead, deceased corpse of Galactus buried beneath the Earth. And his one word response: Unacceptable.

Which makes me imagine Silver Surfer with the same voice as Lemongrab. Hee. Removed every bit of gravitas from this scene.

So a couple things. First. The art. I hate hate hate the photorealistic style thats popular these days. Hate it. I prefer something a bit more stylized. Because it prevents CHILDREN OF THE CORN CURSED CHILDREN SMILE. Steve Epting shares the flaw that a lot of photorealistic artists share, an inability to draw a smile like something an actual human would have on their face. Uncanny valley and emotions difficult to parse are the wages paid with this style.

Second. Jonathan Hickman. Dude is good at the long game. And long depressing marches towards futility and despair. I didn’t dislike his run on Avengers leading up to Secret Wars but I have to admit that this particular issue of Fantastic Four reminds me of his run at its worst.

There doesn’t seem to be an actual plot to this issue. It moves other subplots ahead incrementally. It feels like the middle part to something, moving things in place to get them ready for the finale maybe. Or spinning the wheels. Except its part one of a story arc! And its setting things up but the story arc doesn’t really have an identity yet!

Except someone is going to die. Its called “Three” Countdown to Casualty. Classy.

So this is the beginning of a story that's going to end with one of the Fantastic Four dying and it doesn’t feel like its about anything yet except some vague sense of dread, that Reed done fucked up somewhere.

I think this would have felt more like a story if Hickman didn’t play around with the chronology. Then it would be a story about Valeria snooping around, finding what Reed has been up to, and going behind his back to get Doom’s help. I guess its a matter of presentation.

When this is all the Fantastic Four you’re getting for a month, you want to feel like you read a story or a chapter of a story. Not a couple pages from several different chapters of a story.