#and how many more patches are they sending me?? it’s just a waste

[heartual]

trying to get more holter monitor patches and get my echocardiogram scheduled today because no one ever called me like they were supposed to last week but continuing to get transferred to the physicians office with a promise that they’ll answer … and no answer

[steddiealltheway]

Eddie’s eyes are brown.

At least, that’s what Steve would’ve said before staring into his eyes for…ten seconds? Thirty seconds? Five minutes? … he’s lost track of time.

But the time is certainly not wasted.

Steve’s not sure how he’s never noticed that brown eyes aren’t just brown. It’s a silly thought, and he knows that he should probably know this considering he also has brown eyes, but maybe he’s been too focused on his hair. And maybe he’s been a little too focused on Eddie’s lips…

He fights to glance down at them as Eddie stares back at him, his pupils blown wide, but every now and then when he leans a little to the side, the sunlight from the windows hits his eyes just right and his pupils contract, showing off all the color in his eyes. And Steve loves when this happens.

The brown turns into an almost amber color, deep brown highlighted by hints of warm red and orange. And at the bottom of his eyes, there’s small patches of gold standing out against the deep brown ring that circles the whole iris.

Steve thinks he could get lost in it all and stare for hours.

He leans in a little closer, trying to see more of that gold, and nearly groaning when Eddie shifts away from the light again, eyes becoming such a deep brown that Steve can easily see his reflection.

But he doesn’t want to see himself, he wants to see how that dark chocolate turns into that gold and red in the sunlight.

Then, something Steve didn’t fathom happens.

Eddie closes his eyes.

“Steve won!” Dustin shouts, as the other kids carry on loudly, and Steve is harshly startled back into reality.

A staring contest. That’s what this was supposed to be. A staring contest, not a Steve gets lost in his friend’s eyes for so long that he forgets to blink contest. Christ.

He glances sheepishly at Eddie and takes in all his features, the furrowed brow and the slight frown to his lips as Eddie tugs at a stand of hair.

As the kids file out of the room, moving onto whatever activity is going to keep them entertained next, Steve asks, “Are you that upset about losing?”

Eddie shakes his head and leans forward, staring into Steve’s eyes again. Steve fights not to look too deeply, afraid he’ll get lost in the depths forever if he gives himself the chance.

“I saw something I hadn’t seen before,” Eddie comments, looking back and forth between his two eyes.

“I did too,” Steve admits, allowing himself to stare a bit. He reaches out and pulls Eddie closer to him, getting both his eyes directly in the sunlight. “I see a whiskey my dad used to always keep on his desk, with hints of gold that reminds me of the jewelry my dad got for my mom, back when they still loved each other.”

His heart pounds at the memories, back to a time when things almost seemed normal. When he thought he would always be happy.

Steve shakes his head and glances away, unsure of how the colors he saw before could bring up the deep memories he spewed to Eddie. He changes the subject and asks, “What did you see in mine?”

He expects maybe an analysis of green and brown, or hazel as many girls tell him after staring at him for long enough to make him feel uncomfortable. He wonders why Eddie doesn’t make him feel that way.

A finger lifts Steve’s chin, turning his gaze back to Eddie whose stare sends chills down his spines. “I saw longing,” Eddie states and continues, “Was it for those things? Those memories?”

Steve finds himself shaking his head as his eyes glance down to Eddie’s lips which twitch as he swallows. “Was it longing?” Eddie asks, nervousness seeping into his tone.

Steve glances back at his eyes and nods. It’s not like he’s unaware of his deeper feelings for Eddie, but he didn’t expect to fall so hard in just a few moments as he stared into his eyes. And he definitely didn’t expect to have those emotions read so clearly in his own eyes.

Eddie’s hand slowly moves to cup Steve’s face as he says, “Steve, read my own eyes for a moment. Please see the-”

“Can you guys give us a ride to the arcade?!” Dustin yells from the other room.

Steve sees Eddie’s eyes flash with annoyance which is much different from the loving expression from before.

Loving.

Steve takes a deep breath and steps back as he hears multiple footsteps hurriedly making their way back to the kitchen.

“Did you hear us?” Mike asks, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve says, “Get to the car.”

He lingers back with Eddie as he watches all the kids run to his car, and when Steve gets to the door with Eddie behind him, he yells, “Give me a minute, I need to grab my wallet!”

He closes the door quickly and rushes into Eddie’s space, cupping his face, and asking, “Am I reading this wrong?”

“Not at all,” Eddie says, hope and deep longing shining in his eyes.

“Good,” Steve says, leaning forward and meeting Eddie in the middle as they hurriedly kiss, pouring in all the longing they’ve both experienced for months now but were too oblivious to see before.

(Robin laughs for minutes on end when she hears that a staring contest is what got them together when they’ve been having multiple for months without the label. Steve just rolls his eyes, but as soon as Eddie asks, “Want to have another staring contest?” He can’t resist.)

[oldementurnmeon]

Cam Girl Next Door

A/N: Hi everyone! thank you for the positive feedback! I am very grateful that you guys liked my first writing piece! This will be my first smut writing so please leave notes so i can improve myself! Might be so errors!!

warnings- Masturbation, dirty talk, degradation, praise, pet names, usage of ‘daddy’

WC: (4.6k)

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Right after Y/n sent that message, she got a wave a excitement and nervousness. I mean she’s never done one on one calls with anyone for her work. She thought to herself, “What would I even wear tonight..? I’ll have to go shopping for new lingerie sets.” As her class went on she was preoccupied with the fact she was going to be calling a complete stranger. What if he was those perverted trolls? Those jerks who like to troll sex workers and waste their time. Of course Y/n has had a number of her own internet trolls, but she tried to ignore them. Before she closed her laptop after class ended, she got a 200 dollar transfer to her bank account. The money was from Crossbowdaddy and he left a note, “For two hours sweetheart, I’ll see you later tonight.” She smiled before closing her laptop.

After her class, she was going to head straight to the mall to get some new lingerie just for tonight. “Maybe I should get a sexy costume..” She spoke aloud to herself. Something that caught her eye while driving. A fancy sex shop, “Cupid’s Arrow”. She decided to pull over at the store and take a look. She was welcomed by many displays of lingerie and sexy costumes. She saw stripper heels, pasties, and her favorite toys. She began to browse the aisles, trying to find the perfect set for tonight. She ended up picking out a hot pink babydoll dress, a black lacy two piece, and a light pink slip dress. She went to the fitting room to try on all three and send each picture to Crossbowdaddy. She ended up getting the babydoll dress but in baby pink.

The moment she got home she began to get ready for her.. ‘date’ if that what she should call it. By the time she finished getting ready it was already 11, she was extremely nervous. What if he wasn’t going to join the call? She drowned those that negative thought away with an aphrodisiac chocolate to help her get more aroused. She opened up her computer and awaited for the upcoming call request. Her heart practically sank to her ass when she saw the Skype request. She made sure her face was out of frame but her body was front and center before answering the call.

“Hi, you must be Crossbowdaddy” She tried to hide the shakiness in her voice, by making herself sound more seductive. The man on her computer screen also hid his face and was only showing off his tattoos. He finally spoke up with a deep and hoarse voice, “Hey baby, I’ve been so excited about this call.” She smiled, god his voice was so attractive she thought. “I bought this dress just for our call.” She got up to show off her body in the little dress. Teasing him with her slow and desirable movements. He let out a strained groan. “Fuck babygirl.. You’re killin’ me.” She got on her chair slowly pulling up the short dress to reveal a matching pink thong. She couldn’t help but feel the heat from between her legs. Sitting back in her seat spreading her legs to reveal the damp patch on her clothed pussy. “Do you like what you see daddy? Does my pussy make your cock hard?” Daryl began to slowly fist his hard cock in his hand making sure it was in frame for me. “Look how hard you made me baby. Just from your little strip-tease. Such a naughty little slut.” She pulled the thin pair of underwear to the side to expose her bare pussy. She slowly pushed her slender into her sopping pussy, mewing at her arousal. Daryl let out a grunt. “Jesus you’re so fucking beautiful.. Such a filthy girl. Fuck- keep goin’.” She slowly fucked herself, pushing her fingers in and out of her. She was practically oozing from her pussy. She cried out, “It feels so good daddy- Shit.. I can barely handle it.” She sped up her movement causing her to buck her hips back into her own fingers. Daryl scoffs at her. “Look how pathetic you are slut. Can’t even handle your own pussy. You probably couldn’t even handle this cock.” He growled as thrusts up into his fist. She quickly began to tremble as her toyed with her clit. Her pathetic whines and cries spilled out of her mouth as she finger fucked herself. “Fuck I’m going to cum- Can I please cum daddy? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” She wailed trying her best not to come to her high so fast. Daryl groaned slowing down his jerking motion as he was too coming close to the end. “Go ahead sweetheart make a goddamn mess all over.” Her entire body shook as she came all over her fingers. Daryl gave a strained moan and his warm cum spurted from his pink tip. Her body was calming down from her high. “You are probably the first man to make myself cum so- quick.” Daryl chuckled, “Maybe we can do this again sweetheart.” Y/n spoke up again, “I would actually love to do this again with you. Goodnight daddy.”

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I’m sorry this one took so long. But I hope everyone liked it! Please leave feedback and thank you for all the positive comments!

[chaotictarlos]

16. Taking naps together, from day till night, waking up every now and then to get more snuggles in.

thank you to my sweet friend @this-is-ali for picking this number. here's the list that it's from. if you want me to write one, send me an asks!

couple: Tarlos | word count: 356

It was one of those rare, peaceful slow Sundays that they didn’t get often enough anymore. 

They were both off work for the next two days, schedules aligning for the first time in months - TK was sure that Carlos called in a few favors for that to happen. It was needed, of course, the time to just be together, slow down, and talk. It had been too long, much too long since they got time to be together and just exist in the moment.

TK sighed contently and snuggled deeper into Carlos’ arms. He felt the warmth of the morning sun on his back but it wasn’t as tempting as feeling Carlos’ strong arms around his body. There wasn’t anything in the world at that moment that could convince him to get out of bed and out of his husband’s arms.

“Good morning,” Carlos murmured, and TK felt the words more than he heard them as he rested his head against Carlos’ chest. 

“Good morning to you too, sweet husband,” TK said. His voice was still thick with sleep and he didn’t have any plans to do anything about it. He wanted to spend his entire day wrapped up in Carlos’ arms, weaving in and out of sleep and finding small moments to talk.

Carlos shifted and for a moment TK thought he was going to get out of bed, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled TK closer, brushing his lips against TK’s forehead, and held him tighter.

“Let’s not get out of bed today,” Carlos murmured, already sounding like he was going to drift back to sleep.

TK smiled, “I like the sounds of that.”

Sure there were people who would say they wasted their day off by napping for most of it, but  TK would disagree. There wasn’t anything better than getting to lay in his husbands' arms and just exist while the world outside of their shared space moved on. It was days like this that he lived for, days that reminded him that Carlos loved him and wasn’t going to let him go - no matter how many rough patches they went through.

[seasons-beatings]

Happy holidays, @i-eat-worlds!

From your gifter: For @i-eat-worlds

Summary: Exfiltration gone wrong and Alex gets stabbed.

Contains: Stabbing, a bit of gore, stitches

It was only ever meant to be a simple reconnaissance mission. Get in, set up a stakeout, get some info and leave. It’s just some unimportant grunts roaming around the complex, but they need to break through that layer of security to get to the real intel.

The infiltration is easy.

The exfil, not so much.

At first, it’s more or less a clean break away from the complex, dodging between patches of light from the huge flood lights mounted on the building’s concrete walls. There’s no better time than to do this under the cover of night—for once, Alex feels hopeful that this might be a nice, simple in-and-out operation. It’s just her and Joseph on site, after all, and a smaller team means a lower risk of detection. Maybe it’s not the optimal arrangement of people, maybe Aarav would stand a better chance of doing this completely undetected, but it’s fine. Alex can see just fine and Joseph will be waiting for her when she gets back to the van.

But every plan has its hitches. Along a side route on her way back, Alex bumps into a stranger—for a horrible second the world grinds to a halt. The lighting is likely too dim for him to make out many discerning details about her, but Alex sees the symbol embroidered on the man’s jacket: he’s not just a member of the very group she’s just spent the last thirty minutes scouting out, but he isn’t a grunt. He’s higher up on the ladder, if only by a rung or two.

Just as Alex backs away, trying to retrace her steps and play it off as an accident, the stranger lunges and cold steel sinks into her gut. The sound that rips out of her is something more animal than human, adrenaline kicking in with a dizzying rush as she staggers back and reaches for something, anything-

Alex’s hand closes around a loose, heavy section of rusted pipe running along the brick wall to her right and it breaks free just as the knife pulls out of her stomach and raises for a second strike. By pure chance she gets the first hit in, lashing out with a solid strike to the man’s jaw. The pipe connects with a dull thud and he falls like a puppet with its strings cut, his knife clattering across the gravel.

In the aftermath, everything goes silent except for a faint ringing in her ears. The scuffle was short-lived and far from the main complex so it’s unlikely that anyone heard, but now Alex has a deep, ugly wound in her stomach and a few more minutes to walk before she can safely make it out of here. Blood has already stuck the fabric of her shirt to her skin, thick and warm and unpleasant.

The edges of her senses fuzz into white noise as she takes a few halting steps forward. Every motion sends pain tearing through her and she knows it’s only going to get worse, but she breaks into a sprint. She has to keep going and there’s no telling how long it’ll be until that man wakes up again. It’d be a waste to go through this whole operation just to go down at the very end. Enough pressure on the wound should hold her over for long enough to get to the van, she just has to count on the last dregs of her adrenaline rush.

And yet that, too, fails her. She makes it a good bit farther but ultimately her legs buckle and she sways dangerously before tipping to the side and collapsing against a wall.

The next thing she properly registers is the sound of footsteps crunching on gravel. She jolts, tensing, the motion sending a fresh wave of pain burning through her but she has to get on her feet if it’s a threat.

“Hey, hey,” a familiar voice reassures her. Joseph. “It’s okay. God, what happened to you?”

“Oh, nothing much,” she laughs halfheartedly, voice strained with the effort it takes to keep herself together. “Just had a little scuffle with someone on the way out.”

Joseph’s brow furrows and he reaches a hand down to her. “You don’t look good. Here, let me help you up… Sil isn’t too far away. We’ll get you back and patched up.”

Alex weighs her options for a moment before nodding and taking his hand, pulling herself back up on unsteady feet. She just has to make it a little farther. Once she’s home safe, she can patch herself up. She can fix this.

The world starts to fuzz in and out of darkness. The black fabric of Alex’s shirt hides most of the bleeding, but it’s still glossy and slick under the light. Once they climb into the van and she all but collapses into the closest seat, Joseph seems to take notice.

“Alex,” he presses, a little more insistently, “what happened to you?”

“Got stabbed,” she finally manages through clenched teeth, all of her focus poured into keeping pressure on the wound and staying conscious.

Joseph sucks in a quick breath, on his feet in seconds. It’s not ideal to treat her in a place like this, but he can keep her stable. As long as Sil keeps his foot on the gas they’ll be fine. “Stay there, don’t move.” He fetches a roll of gauze from the medkit and hands it to Alex, along with a pair of scissors. “I’m just going to keep pressure on the wound, okay? We’ll do stitches as soon as we get back.”

“Okay.”

For Joseph, the next ten minutes are spent making sure Alex stays conscious and awake through however much blood she’s losing. For Alex, the next ten minutes could easily be nothing more than a fragment of a dream.

As soon as they make it back to base, they make a beeline for the closest treatment room. Alex insists on walking on her own, still hunched over herself with a wad of bloody gauze pressed to her stomach, and Joseph follows closely behind her to make sure she doesn’t fall. She seems to come back to herself a bit when the door clicks shut behind them, immediately going searching for the medkit and pulling out the necessary supplies—the motions are carried out with such ease that it may very well be instinct.

Judging from the fact that Alex is still up and conscious, the stabbing likely didn’t hit anything vital. When she sits down and peels the fabric away from the injury, sticky with blood, it’s clearly a few inches deep but goes down at an angle. It’s not enough to warrant a sigh of relief from anyone, but it’s a small flicker of hope that this will turn out alright.

It’s not until Alex finally pulls on her gloves and starts cleaning the wound that it’s clear she really can’t do this on her own. Her hands shake so badly, she nearly drops the squirt bottle.

“Alex,” Joseph murmurs, “you might have to let me do this.”

Alex stops, squirt bottle still in hand, staring down at the wound. She doesn’t want to, she can do this. She has to be able to do this. Normally she’d be able to get through this alone and she never wants to be touched more than necessary, but without the adrenaline to keep her going, the pain is nauseating and horribly distracting.

“I can do it,” she insists. Joseph fixes her with a firm look and she glances away.

Can’t she trust him? She just needs to get through this, however necessary. And after all, it’s Joseph. When has he been anything less than trustworthy?

“Let me do this,” he says, voice even softer now. “Give yourself a break.”

Finally, Alex sighs and leans back. “...Okay.”

Joseph treats her with the same care he always has. The lidocaine does its job to ease the pain, and although she’s still sore, the wound stitches up just like any other. In due time she’ll be right back on her feet.

[lanitalay]

One Day : Chapter 10

a/n: omg I'm sorry in advance. But lets celebrate that the series in done.

warnings: mentions of death, angst?

word count: 800

Other Chapters

In all of your years of knowing each other, Azriel never forgot your anniversary. Each year (except for the fifty that Amarantha ruled) he made it a point to bring you flowers. This one was no different. Some years he gave you your favorite flowers from the market, other years he gave you extravagant bouquets from an artisanal shop, but you always felt extra special when he would pick them himself. It couldn’t happen every year, but whenever he saw a field of wildflowers he would make a mental note. 

He landed on a patch of green sprinkled with vibrant colors. There were daisies and cosmos and snapdragons and so many others he could not name. Azriel picked whichever caught his eye, only the most pristine made the final arrangement. When he was satisfied, he took out a piece of twine and tied them all together. 

When he’s in front of you, that familiar wave of longing spreads through his chest. He takes a breath and kneels on the newly sprouting grass. He grips the bouquet so tight his fingers indented the stems. A breath, then another and he can reach out and touch the headstone. 

It happened slowly at first, then all at once. The Mother granted you twenty years of mated bliss with Azriel. But one day you came home early from the clinic. It was your head, you said, it hurt. That became a regular occurence, until Madja didn’t let you leave and instead sat you down on the exam bed. 

You contracted something from one of your patients, remembering when it happened. “She was just a baby… I didn’t think…” It was a horrifying realization. That patient did not respond to any treatment and in short days the illness had run its course. You knew it was only a matter of time. 

Azriel refused to believe it. Refused to accept it. But nothing Madja did helped. Not even Feyre could help. Not even Thesan. It was a wicked thing that ran through your veins and shut your organs down one by one. During your final months Azriel did not sleep. Always looking for an alternative, a cure, more time, because it wasn’t fair. You had spent your life healing. You had put him back together more times he could count and he couldn’t figure out how to stop the inevitable? Eventually, when you begged him to let it go, to just spend whatever time was left together, he relented. 

By then walking was difficult. A few weeks later, eating was impossible. The last days you mostly slept, the moments you woke were filled with your family saying goodbye. You made Cassian and Rhysand promise to care for him “he’ll suffer, he’ll mourn. But you cannot let him waste away. Please, promise me. Promise me he won’t drown, he’ll be safe, he’ll have a life.” Of course, they both promised. 

Nesta spent hours by your side, brushing your hair, massaging your aching joints. “You can just tell Madja to give me more mirthroot, it helps with that.” 

“Let me care for you, y/n.”

“Can you tell me some gossip? I don’t want all of my last conversations to be so melodramatic.” She scoffed but gave in “Tarquin is betrothed.” You made your best attempt at a gasp. “To who?” 

“I believe she’s an emissary from Day.” 

“He sent me a letter.” Now it was Nesta who gasped. “Tarquin?” 

“Yeah, he found out about me dying somehow and wrote saying that he was sorry things ended on bad terms.” 

“I was always sad we never swam in those pools.” You laughed at that. 

You made sure to send the love that flooded your chest after each visit to Azriel. Wanting him to know that you were ok. That you were loved and not afraid of what came next.

“I think it’s time,” Nesta said with tears welled in her eyes, her lip quivering. A wave of numbness crashed into Azriel. He knew what those words meant. He could feel the bond dwindling each second that passed. Your breath was so shallow, barely there. Until you exhaled one last time. 

Despair snuffed out his numbness. He held your hand and knelt by your bedside, kissed your hands and arms and face. He gripped your hands like they would keep you there, as if holding on tighter would keep you alive. 

He summoned everything he could: love, admiration, devotion. He summoned the nights spent tangled in bed, the days walking by the beach, every touch, every kiss, every “Az”, every scoff, every fight, everything. It all accumulated in his chest and he pushed it down the bond. You had to know the extent of it. You had to know how much he loved you, how that word wasn’t enough. 

But you were already on the other side, waiting for him.

[maestro04yayyy]

https://www.tumblr.com/maestro04yayyy/756257787180433408/sorry-had-to-share-this-with-someone-even-though-i?source=share

So, I ended up musing on this idea a little more & wanted to share some thoughts, given you seemed to like the premise >:3c

Firstly, I am thinking the statement which causes Chloe's brain to switch Juleka from "Attractive girl threatening me" to "Matches my freak, I must have her" would be something like:

Chloe: How trite, such zealous devotion wasted on someone who won't even look your way. Juleka: (Looms more intensely, nails screeching as she scratched the wall) You would never understand the lengths someone would go for love, unrequited or not.

But Chloe did understand, she understood all to well.

Juleka nearly stepped back on instict as Chloe lolled forward, somehting strange in her smile that was no longer quiet as cruel and her eyes shimmering.

"But I do know. I know the endless toil and bottomless depths the quest for love sends one to."

Chloe stepped forward and pressed against her, meeting Juleka's stunned gaze as she slowly started to rise, whispering.

"I know how it burns when the target was too high to so much as touch, to even see the one steeped in their shadow..."

There was a dizzying, confounding moment where Juleka thought Chloe was going to try and kiss her. But the blonde stopped, rolling back on her feet, she added.

"Don't worry, I won't take that kiss from you. But in time, you'll want me to and until then, I'll leave your little rose be."

With that, the girl pivoted and strode away, stopping at the door to send her w winsome smirk, "See you in lass, Juleka~" her name rolled off the blonde's lips with a strangely sultry lilt before the door closed.

There were frankly, far too many thoughts circling Juleka's head in that moment, pride at having spoken with such strength, relief that Rose would be insulated from Chloe's cruelty. Dizzying confusion at the blonde seemingly... Flirting... With her!?!

But somehow what stood out was the fact, this was the first time Chloe had ever used her first name.

_________________________________

Beyond that, I low key imagine Chloe making a very Chloe like apology to Rose. Mostly so she can be around Juleka without tension.

Which basically means badgering ALi's assistant into letting him stay longer & inviting both he & Rose as his plus one to some event. Passing the tickets onto Rose with a sort of, "Clearly my critical eye erred to not see the wuality of your letter."

Which mostly leaves Rose ??? Cos is that an apology, a concession, a what? But she takes the tickets & has a grand time so she guesses they're chill now. Weirdly Chloe almost seems to want to hang out even?

Juleka has no way to explain why she thinks this came about. Where to even begin?

Also she patches things up with Adrien, for a given value of needing to.

She also wants his advice on pursuing intense, dark haired girls who seem both shy but capable of incredible violence but who aren't into them.

Adrien: How did you figure out I'm Chat Noir? Chloe: (Play it cool, play it cool, play it cool!)

Not sure if that's "canon" but I do find the idea funny XD Also she's pursuing Juleka as intensely as she is in part cos of the "Matches my freak" aspect. But also cos she's like... Super duper gay. Like compare & contrast her rather minimal efforts to flirt with Adrien VS how she throws herself at Ladybug. She's definitely going higher with Juleka than she would with Adrien at the very least XD

Ok first of all thanks for sharing this with!!!!

Second of all, I love everything about it!!!!

Also I love chloe being all dramatic and theatrical, she grew up with adrien and felix, now I just wonder who was the one eho influenced the others.

And yep I cam imagine everyone being confues as hell but I think rose would just accept it, maybe she will think she power of friendship and love finally reached her, or that voodo ritual she did with a unicorn plushies actually worked and juleka doesn't say anything about ehat hapoened because she is half sure it was an hallucination the first time, I kinfa imagine juleka being is almost denial, thinking an akuma took Chloe's place because she can't be in love woth juleka(it would just be funny but likely to last very shortly).

Also yeah, chloe is the gayest person ever, she has fallen hard, juleka is a hot goth girl after all.

And god adrien!!!!!! I imagined plagg face palmed and cursed a lot, that or laughed loufly and came out so he could help chloe(god if those two meet it is going to be hell)

[criminal-mids]

#7 - Hoodie

Prompt: Borrowed Hoodie 

Sickie: Garcia

Caretaker: Morgan 

Word Count: 1,411

“Hah? What? Since when!?”

Garcia can’t believe it. She swears she hadn’t heard a word of this until now, and she usually keeps a tab on office renovation schedules because she knows the noise bothers Reid.

“Listen, lady, we’re just the repair guys, it’s not our fault your bosses didn’t tell you. Take it up with them. We still have our job to do. Feel free to work somewhere else.”

“Some- this is my place!” Garcia tries not to shriek, but she can’t help it when they’re shoving her oh-so-carefully painted minifigures aside for their dusty work bags. She rolls her chair over just in time to prevent an elf from being crushed and scoops the rest of her plastic children into her skirt, just to be safe.

“And the aircon is old and falling apart, it's an OSHA violation waiting to happen. If you wanna be in here when it causes a spark, be my guest.”

“UGH!”

The repair only takes a half hour, and truthfully, she is grateful, grumble as she may. A fire or even too much smoke could kill her hard drives.

The real problem is when they finish.

“Um, could you turn the heat up a bit, please?” Even through her chattering teeth, she tries to be kind to the repairmen. She knows how hard they work.

“Sorry, ma’am, not yet. We’re still workin’ out some kinks. The HVAC’s been updated and we’re still trying to patch in the new system and the old system together. As I said before, other parts of the building will be warmer, but hey, you’re welcome to remain in your fortress of solitude if you want.”

She suppresses the urge to roll her eyes.

‘Can’t they see I’ve got a complicated setup?’

But, she shows no outward aggression. She’s not really that upset, just cold. “It’s fine. Thank you for your help. Could you at least tell me when it’ll be fixed?”

“Sometime in the next few days.”

She can tell that’s as good as she’s getting so she nods and waves as they head out.

Instead, she directs her ire towards the faulty machine itself.

“If I could hack you I would, but you're older than me, so you're safe . . . for now.” She holds up the minuscule screwdriver from her glasses repair kit as she glares at the aircon.

- She was being dramatic before, but she really is well and chilled now.

‘Ugh. Isn’t this just Bonita?’

“I’m a California girl, I wasn't meant for the cold.” She whines to her screens.

‘If I catch a cold, I’ll really be annoyed. And everyone knows my brain goes to complete mush when I’m sick. I’m useless. I can’t afford to be out of commission, not when the team seems busier than ever. Maybe I should move outside. I can always come back in here real quick if I need more computing power. The team’s still on the jet, so I’ve got some time to compile files.’

-

“Garcia, we need a list of all homicides involving victims with cuspids removed. Go back at least 10 years. We think this may be our unsubs signature.” Hotch’s voice is firm, but calm, as usual.

“You got it, cap’”

‘All those records, I’ll need my office for that, ah, oh well.’

She hurries back to her little corner of Quantico, opening the door to find that it has, somehow, gotten colder.

Still, she sits down and gets to work.

-

Just as she hits send and gets up to retreat to the land of warmth, her screen dings.

It’s Rossi this time.

“What can I do for ya, Italian amor?” Penelope finds it hard to keep a cheery tone with the cold blasting at her, making her lips quiver, but she hopes she manages.

Her effort is wasted because Rossi ignores the quip, pressing straight to business. Another request that requires her big screens.

“All these records are from the way back when before our good friend the internet. They’re unorganised at best. Combining through all of them will take a while, I’ll pull as many as I can, and send them to you as I get them.”

“Good.”

He hangs up. She sits back down, huffing.

“Potential OSHA violation? This is an OSHA violation right here!” She mutters, pulling her cardigan around herself. 

‘If I’d known I’d be working in Antarctica today I would’ve worn a jumper.’

Nevertheless, she begins.

—

Her hands are freezing, her fingers stiff and every click of the keyboard takes conscious effort. Okay, maybe she’s being dramatic, but she’s a California girl! Can you blame her?

Just when she thinks she’s done, more files under the search parameters come up. It’s unusually demoralising.

‘If only I had a jumper or something. Note to self, pack extra clothes for future emergencies. . . . Wait, emergencies! That's it!’

She springs up, with newly formed determination, and heads out to the bullpen.

She has a destination in mind, but as she draws closer, doubt creeps in.

‘I hope he won’t mind. Is this creepy? No, it’ll be fine, I’ll wear it, then put it right back like nothing ever happened at all. That’s what I’ll do.’

She reassures herself as she approaches Morgan’s desk. Everyone has two go bags, just in case they don’t have time to wash one set of clothes before departing again.

Garcia knows that in this bag she’ll most likely find one of Morgan’s many grey or black hoodies. And she’s right.

It’s right on top. She takes it gingerly, slipping it on, careful not to disturb her hair ornaments. It’s warm and soft.

With the extra layer, her office feels almost normal. 

Her typing speed quickens again until she’s at normal capacity. Rossi gets the data within the next 15 minutes.

She sighs, happy with her work.

And, now that she takes time to notice it, ‘This hoodie does smell nice.’

She catches herself, then remembers she’s alone and takes another deep sniff. Morgan’s detergent has a pleasant smell that reminds her of him. Yeah, this was a good decision.

—

“Give us the best you got, pumpkin.” Morgan teases

“Oh, that’s for your ears only, handsome.” 

“I know. I’m going to transfer to video call, so you better be decent.”

“Never.” She teases with a theatrically breathy sigh.

The video chat opens revealing the team gathered around a desk, and maps in front of them.

“So Garcia, what did you find on-”

Prentiss cuts Reid off, “Wait, is that Morgan’s hoodie?”

Penelope blanches. “Wh-hat?” After a second of hesitation, she looks down, hoping by some miracle that all she’ll find is her cardigan and dress, but she already knows. She can still smell the detergent. “Oh, I- they were fixing the aircon in my office and it’s colder than the Fortress of Solitude in here so I just . . . I honestly don’t know what I was thinking! I wasn’t, I was just really cold! I can take it off. Let me just . . .” She fumbles with the hoodie, starting to pull it over her head.

“Slow down, baby girl. You look even cuter when you’re in my clothes, and I can’t have you catching a cold now can I, hmm?”

Penelope makes a noise somewhere between a squeak and squeal. “ . . . okay.”

Rossi clears his throat loudly, “Now, tell us what you found, we’re running out of time to find Kate.”

“Yes, at your service.” Still shaken, but with a new warmth in her chest, she continues.

—

“Baby girl, you in here?” Morgan’s familiar warm timbre drifts in from the door over the audio of an RPG game.

“Yes.” She blushes fiercely.

“I talked to Max and he said the system would be back to normal by tomorrow.”

“Oh, thank god. . . . I guess I should give this back to you then.” The end of the sentence is noticeably less enthusiastic than the beginning.

“Well, I was actually thinking you should keep it. Gotta mark my territory, don’t I?”

Penelope giggles, getting up to hug him.

He smells even nicer in person . . . like home, sometimes more so than the dozens of candles that fill her flat.

“Yeah.” then softer, “I’d wear a collar for you, Derek Morgan, you know that.”

“Tempting, but that can wait till tomorrow, it’s late, and even girl geniuses need their sleep.”

What a day, huh? And tomorrow she could come back to a warm office. Gideon was right, like he always said, life really is about the small things.

[icarus-23]

He stared at his pristine iron boots as he walked through the halls of Nightingale kingdom as the guard in front of him led him to where his appointed role was once the door to the chamber centross gaze fixated on the man now standing across from him with dark curled long brown hair tied up with a loose yellow bandanna of sorts and in a black dress shirt and yellow sweater best with a star emblem on it centross found it hard to breathe at the mere sight of him as his purple gaze focuses on the yellow warn gaze,centross barely noticed the guard kicking him slightly with his foot telling him to be nice to prince fenris, centross decided he couldn't get a luckier role then being the prince's own appointed knight controls ducked his head low in a show of respect to which he heard the prince,Februs laugh a soft low warm sound at he spoke "please raise your head you don't have to be so formal" controls didn't mostly cause he didn't want the prince to see his totally not reddening face god ocie's goimg to tease the hellout of him later,he was new to the ranks and was skilled which explained his position now but he never though the prince would be this nice honestly centross was expecting someone who was scary and would send people fleeing but instead prince fenris was like the dusk a soft warm glow like the sun.

Centross was dismissed after introductions, finding himself disappointed at having to leave, but he knew he'd be called back if anything happened. He wanted to see him again to be talk to the prince more, centross entered the barracks outside of the castle were he found jerry and ocie there who turns to him a smile in her face as she asked "so how'd it go?" She asked curiously, head tilting as centross snapped out of his thoughts before replying,"I got the job obviously" he replied with a dismissive wave of his hand,ocie was grinning at him as she says "your face is all red centross,something happen" she asked slyly to which centross sputtered before replying "I no nothing happened,i srew you ,piss off I.. " centross was cut off before he could say more as ocie laughed before teasingly adding."Oh my god, don't tell me you have a crush on the prince. Didn't you just meet him?"centross's face goes even more red as he says,"I hey I no I don't have feelings for the prince besides I just met him and whose to say he's not already with someone let alone likes guys" centross replied back glancing at the barracks floor,just then a guard rushed in demanding centross to go to the west wing of the castle to meet with prince fenris for battle plans since the gilded kingdom might plan an attack soon today ,centross wasted no time heading there after telling ocie and jerry that he'll see them later.

Centross found fenris in the war room with a contemplative expression on his face before he glanced up at Centross. " I'm glad you're here. What do you think of this? Does it need adjustments?" Centross gaze shifts to the battle plans scanning it he adjusts a few pieces, him and fenris talk who knows how long about battle plans while doing so centross notices the furrowed brows of the prince he was nervous about the war and the lives at stake not just the people who are willing to lay down their lives but the innocents to though fenris kept himself focused.though.

Centross turns to leave to get ready for the upcoming attack. Before he reached the door, he heard fenris say, "Be safe out there." centross felt his heart skip a beat before he replied back, "You too"

The morning sun is shown through the horizon glowing brightly as centross laboured breathing cane through the ringing in his ears he wasn't sure how many he killed but what he did know is that the castle was sage and the gilded kingdom had retreated, both sides lost a number of soldiers as centross made it back bloody and tired .

He found himself going to fenris Chamber, having gone looking for him he found him which is how he found himself being patched up by the prince who looked to have only just patched himself up a few hours ago as fenris spoke while cleaning blood underneath centross arm and shoulder "I'm glad your okay and that you didn't die" centross eyebrows raise in confusion "whu you barely know me.." he replied as fenris chuckles at that, replying ,"I'd like to know you"

Centross found that same feeling as to when he first met the prince as he gently said, "I'd like to get to know you to"

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Grimple

CR 1/3

Chaotic Neutral Tiny Fey

Bestiary 4, pg. 142 (pic from 2e’s Bestiary 3, pg. 120)

These disgusting, lice-infested, anthropomorphic opossum are one of many species of Gremlin, mischievous and often hateful Fey spawned into the world to cause chaos. Like many gremlins they live in the dregs of society, infesting abandoned buildings, sewer lines, garbage dumps, and the like, venturing into greater civilization to sate their physical hungers and their inborn need to destroy and despoil. They’re not quite to the point of killing people, but Grimple certainly like harming and inconveniencing them, with listed crimes such as abusing pets, freeing livestock, throwing rocks at passers-by, picking pockets (+5 Sleight of Hand), loosening signage so it falls on people (or removing it entirely to cause confusion), and loosing their disease-ridden vomit on every surface at every available opportunity. They have Mage Hand and Open/Close available to them 3/day as well as Prestidigitation at will just to enhance their potential pranks and allow them to perform them from a safe distance, because their DR 2/Cold Iron won’t do much to protect their 4 HP from retribution.

They’re nasty customers which make frequent forays into civilization to feast on garbage and waste, disrupting the peace of the locals between meals, and like the rodents they resemble it’s often up to adventurers to exterminate them as part of low-level missions, because the average peasant likely can’t even FIND the vermin once they’ve decided to hide. They can climb at 20ft a round, have a +13 to Stealth, and most uniquely have the ability to stretch out flaps of skin out from their sides to serve as ersatz wings, letting them clumsily glide in a single direction at 20ft/round. They have all the mobility of a squirrel with the intelligence of a human and the malevolence of a human-squirrel hybrid, leaping from rooftop to rooftop as they flee retribution for their misdeeds and sabotage. It’s good if they’re just running, though, because if they’re actually pausing and throwing rocks at you (which deal 1 point of nonlethal damage, same as their bite), it means they’re trying to bait you into following them.

Whether it’s a patch of Grease on a flight of stairs (which they can cast 3/day), a tripwire placed in front of a pile of horse manure, the gremlin flinging open the door that was hiding some incredibly dangerous and hostile monster, chasing a Grimple is bound to end in pain. It’s a humiliating and often humbling experience for any beginner adventurer who thinks to themselves “it’s just gremlins, it shouldn’t be that hard, even for me!” For a DM, the Grimple make good critters to send players after to teach them the folly of underestimating a creature that’s as intelligent as a human but which has supernatural powers and movement modes a human needs tools to match, without the threat of death lurking around. About the most dangerous thing they can do is, once every 1d4 rounds, spew a disgusting technicolor yawn in a 30ft line, potentially nauseating everyone in the area that fails a DC 11 Fortitude save for 1d4 rounds. Distracting, upsetting, and disorienting, but not dangerous unless there’s other monsters nearby.

That being said, whether you end up cracking your head on the sidewalk from the Grease or if, to your dismay, there’s enough Grimple present to knock your poor ass out with their rocks (and there typically is, since gremlins as a rule are rarely ever alone), you can bet you’re going to wake up A) without your belongings, B) smeared with unspeakable substances and likely with a case of Filth Fever, C) with everything they left you with stained via Prestidigitation or any garbage they have on hand, and D) with an infestation of unpleasant Gremlin Lice. These nasty parasites thankfully can’t survive on non-gremlin hosts for more than 24 hours, but ANY contact with the Grimple--no matter how brief--causes the irritating infestation to spread, inflicting a -1 penalty to concentration and initiative checks as the itch distracts the victim. Thankfully, a bath cleans off not only whatever substances the gremlins may have smeared you with, but their lice as well.

Still, if the adventurer wasn’t motivated to get a cold iron dagger before, they likely will be after that.

You can read more about them here.

[aotopmha]

I'm done with the Final Fantasy 14 MSQ for now.

It's so strange to see that "To be continued..." on the MSQ quest label.

And whenever I aim to talk about MSQ in a general sense, I face choice paralysis because there is so much to it.

It's partially why I said almost nothing about Heavensward before moving on to Stormblood.

I just wanted to keep playing AND there was a lot to talk about.

I think I would like to bring these posts full circle, though.

I started actually playing the game back in November of last year, but I stumbled upon and got invested in the story I think around six months prior to Endwalker release, somewhere in the WoW exodus window (around July of 2021, I think, by seeing a few playthroughs of A Realm Reborn).

I think it's the Coils of Bahamut raid series and then the patch content finale of A Realm Reborn that got me truly invested to be exact – I think I initially skipped through a lot of ARR, watching a condensed playthrough, but those parts I sat through in full.

Both had some really smart, consistent writing in them despite relying on quite commonly used tropes, which also shone through the awkward voice acting and tedious redundant questing.

And this continued and got better as time went on.

Heavensward and Stormblood further added character and thematic complexity and Shadowbringers and Endwalker in turn built upon that while much improving narrative pacing, leading to one of my favourite fantasy stories ever.

While Stormblood and Shadowbringers in particular much improved the game in terms of gameplay, as well.

This game remains one of the hardest games for me to recommend because of the redundant questing for much of the first three expansions, particularly in the base games.

Particularly Stormblood really is kind of just the same storyline with a different faction for six different zones and not even Shadowbringers and Endwalker are truly free of redundancy with sections like Il Mheg, the leadup to Mt Gulg, Bestways Burrow and Labyrinthos.

A Realm Reborn, Heavensward and Stormblood are now all free and can be played without playtime restrictions, so I can at least encourage just taking your time and not rushing through because meeting the game halfway, on its own terms lead to the most enjoyment on my part, but if you are really looking for a story/game that "never wastes your time", Final Fantasy 14 is not it.

It cares about even the smallest worldbuilding details to a ridiculous degree and at times does send you several layers deep into a quest to the point of the initial goal of it getting buried. I think it's the most frustrating with A Realm Reborn where it really gets in the way of pacing and no matter how neat the high points are, this can take the satisfaction out of any of the payoff you have because it took you so long to get there.

Almost everything you do will eventually matter, but to varying degrees, but it's still *almost* everything and sometimes it matters in relatively small ways.

When all is said and done, we have a complete web of a story with many characters and worlds, touching on many themes, which is in my opinion brought together and concluded in an incredibly satisfying way.

And I kind of see the same journey for the gameplay. By 90 all of the jobs I have unlocked and used feel complete and distinct, some simpler, some more complex, but complete and distinct, and most importantly fun.

So if I'm in the mood for chilling I play Bard, Sage or Dark Knight (the last of which I enjoy to the point of maining right now), but if I want more brain work and super satisfying rotation completion, I play Red Mage or Dragoon.

And Bard, Red Mage and Dragoon, for example, are very different from each other as well.

I've seen a bunch of talk about homogeneity between jobs now, but to me as a casual, the roles at least feel very different from each other.

Bard's DoT management and movement freedom is very different from Dragoon's constantly rolling GCD/OGCD management, which in turn is very different from Red Mage's dualcast and cast time management, which in turn is very different from Sage's shielding/healing (also healing via attacks), which in turn is very different from Dark Knight's mitigation/damage management and pulling/boss positioning role.

And to me the biggest proof of that is getting lost when I take a break from a specific job for a longer period of time. If they truly were all of the same, this would not be an issue.

I guess, as I said in one of the posts at the start of my journey, I found the one MMO I like in terms of gameplay.

The animations for the jobs feel satisfying, getting new buttons for the jobs feels satisfying.

People keep insisting Dragoon plays bad early on, but I still had fun as early as just getting my jump and base combo and before that (and after) I just had my hands full learning how the game works and feels in general. I had some brain work/fun happening since level 1.

And part of that feeling are the encounters themselves, I think.

They essentially just made single player game encounters within multiplayer context and I feel in general MMO-like games are beholden to a specific idea of what fight encounters look like, which just does not gel with me.

A huge part of me not really wanting to check out World of Warcraft aside from the story structure feeling off/strange, what the toxic elements of the community look like or the main selling point being the endgame hardcore raiding, which you need to basically dedicate massive amounts of time for to keep up with, is the encounter design and how that looks to me.

I'm told it definitely has better netcode than FF14, and I believe it, but it unfortunately doesn't look as satisfying to execute to me. On a casual level bosses also literally seem to die with a couple of attacks.

You never know before you play, but based on all of the research I've done on WoW, it just does not click with me.

And that's the reason Runescape combat doesn't do much for me, either. The encounters don't feel satisfying on the most basic level.

Runescape is the perfect grindy MMO; super great second monitor game, imo, but its combat is basically you just standing there. You click on an enemy and watch it die.

There is a skill to managing your stuff and it is quite complex in a high level setting from what I've researched, but it just doesn't do anything for me personally.

There is something about the simple visual language and indicators that feels good to me, even if you sometimes get blown away by an attack 3 seconds after it should hit.

So many MMOs are basically grindfests that involve you watching hundreds of mobs who do nothing die.

And so many feel like directionless sandboxes, which might be fun to be in for a bit, but don't get you invested, be it in terms of gameplay or story.

So FF14 is, in fact, the first MMO I like in terms of combat gameplay and encounter design because it has them to begin with.

But again, if you want jobs and combat to immediately feel complete and super complex, Final Fantasy 14 is probably not for you.

A more critical, negative perspective will say it starts off slow and pretty shallow, a positive perspective will call it a slow burn that will reward you.

I'm of the latter opinion.

The game does have an option to buy a skip to endgame, though and as much as I love the story and think the leveling process does teach you to play, I think skipping the story if it doesn't do anything for you is also an option if you just want to try playing.

It is always possible go back via New Game+ and even free trial accounts can make 8 different characters in total, so you can just restart with a new character.

In fact, I think clicking through and skipping cutscenes to skip the story is an option, too, to save that skip money if you don't mind spending a little more time.

But this game has so much different content aside from the story, your simple dungeons and raiding. Before Stormblood was free, some subbed just for mahjong in the Gold Saucer.

There are fishing/crafting mains, housing mains, glamour and RP mains, Deep Dungeon mains (which are big dungeons with 200 levels for the first one and 100 for the other two), Gold Saucer has many mini games in fact.

There is an entire solo class (and we are getting another one in Dawntrail), which is its own challange in Blue Mage (Beastmaster is set to be the new one).

Even having finished MSQ, there is so much I haven't tried yet.

So something might click even if the story or dungeons/raiding don't.

It is the first subscription for a game that has felt worth my money every month I've paid and played so far.

And an entry level one is just fine. There is a cash shop, but you don't ever have to interact with it nor is it shoved in your face all of the time.

I will say, the Mogstation/Square Enix site is awful. Everything worked out relatively painlessly initially for me to pay, but everything I've done there after that has been a headache.

In terms of buying the game, if you aren't invested already, currently I'd actually wait for the Dawntrail complete edition to get Shadowbringers, Endwalker and Dawntrail for the same price and I absolutely 100% recommend the free trial as the start despite some of the limitations.

It'll save a bunch of money.

All of that said, I absolutely do recommend the game. It's been an absolutely wonderful 6ish months for me, during which I've had a massive blast and generally really positive vibes, the asterix here is simply to expect a game or story that is more of a slow burn.

The flaws are pretty obvious and if they annoy you too much from the start, this game probably isn't for you, if they don't, I think you'll grow to like it or will have a great time to begin with because a lot of people, including myself, really do still like A Realm Reborn.

[mamamittens]

Hii me again!, could I order again!, for my oc/ insert Chloris; could I get a strawberry chunks milkshake (as for the creature was thinking a vampire Shanks and a human Chloris 🤭) chocolate syrup with whipped cream and a cherry on top (was thinking first meeting sort of thing?) could I get some Alice in Wonderland, dom/sub (for me), motor oil (for me), hot damn, jager bomb and a White Russian please and perhaps a sprinkle of Brain Hemorrhage (for me again), got to spoil Shanks so a Pineapple Upside Down Cake (for Shanks). Chloris uses she/her pronouns, she’s got long wavy pink hair that goes a bit past her knees, with flowers in her hair, an almost flower like crown of baby breaths that don’t go all the way round? (Can send an image in dms to explain better if it helps 💦), light purple eyes and beauty marks under them (like Mitsuri’s)

And here we are! Finally! Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long there!

Shanks X OC (Chloris)

Warnings: Vampire sex, blood drinking, oral sex (male receiving), outdoor sex, unprotected sex, creampie, rough sex, size kink, and praise kink.

Word Count: 2,221

Shanks was a man(sort of) of many vices, even before he’d been turned into a ‘creature of the night’.

Although he’d never call himself that out loud. That was more Mihawks thing, really.

He liked his booze and loved companionship of all kinds. For a drink or for a roll in the sheets, as long as it promised to be a good time, Shanks was all for it. Although a few things were different now, this basic desire to enjoy himself certainly wasn’t. His booze was now tainted with blood for an extra kick and his lovers never left unsatisfied from a boozy dick—though they may struggle to stand in the morning if he was feeling particularly amorous. What can he say? Something about having a pretty patch of skin under his teeth got him going.

He tried not to linger in one area too long. The idea of being caged unsettled him and there was only so much charm he could lay on to stop the townsfolk from stabbing him with a stake. It did lead him to find many breathtaking places in his years of wondering though.

Mountain peaks and muddy riverbanks. The people that could be found there. Usually crabby old men who only appreciated his booze, but… sometimes he got lucky.

Lucky enough to find a beautiful woman picking flowers in the moonlight. Some delicate bloom he couldn’t recall glowing like fireflies in her grasp, illuminating her pretty profile. Delicate and small with flowing pink hair that pooled at her feet as she crouched in the wildflowers. A flower crown of small white buds woven into her hair.

Shanks came to a stop just a few feet shy of her, grinning boldly. Eyes shining with hunger.

“…Hello, beautiful. Aren’t you a pretty sight? What are you doing out here alone?” Shanks asked in a comforting rumble. He wasn’t here for scares.

She startled a bit, looking up at him. Violet eyes catching the moonlight with identical moles under each eye.

“O-Oh! I’m—well, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m picking flowers. Moonbells. They only bloom under a full moon and they’re just the most precious light.” She cast her gaze across her draped skirts before looking up at him innocently. “And what are you doing out here alone?” She asked back.

Shanks chuckled.

“Maybe I’m looking for something sweet to eat.” Shanks mused smugly as she blushed. “Know where I might find that, pretty?”

She smiled, casting her eyes to the side demurely. Shanks stayed where he was despite already seeing how amicable she was to his presence.

“Sweet? Oh, I wouldn’t know. It is late though. Perhaps we should leave?” She asked, glancing back at him.

Shanks shook his head, grasping his belt buckle with one hand casually.

“Oh, but it would be such a waste of a pretty view. I can think of how it could be even prettier, though.”

“Oh?” She asked, covering up her smile with a delicate hand. Shanks squeezed his belt, lifting it up jostle his cock.

“You’d look ravishing under the moonlight, lovely.”

“I’m already here~?” She tipped her head to the side teasingly.

“Naked.” Shanks emphasized, taking a bold step forward. “Underneath me.”

She gasped, smile still evident and emboldening him.

“My, you’re a bold man. We’ve only just met!” She laughed.

“You’re right.” Shanks said in a faux-apology. “Your knees would be a better start.” Shanks declared.

“I thought you were hungry?” She asked coyly, shifting her legs beneath her. “And now you would have me walk all the way over there to get on my knees?”

Shanks laughed, stalking forward.

“That is a lot to ask of a beautiful lady. But I think you’re up to the challenge.” Shanks cackled, stopping just shy of her. She looked up at him eagerly, shifting up onto her knees and grasping his pants. “You going to be my good girl, beautiful?” Shanks asked softly, reaching down to tease a soft curl behind her ear.

She grasped his belt and slowly pulled the leather apart.

“Chloris. If you’re going to challenge me, the least you can do is call me by my name.” She smiled, tugging down his pants as his cock bounced free. She gasped, a little shocked at the size. And from his view, he couldn’t blame her.

His cock looked massive next to those pretty lips and wide eyes. Pre leaking down the tip. But before he could reassure her that he was fine skipping this treat, Chloris leaned up and slipped the head of his cock onto her tongue. Wet heat engulfing his cock as he groaned.

“S-Shanks, beautiful. If you’re going to take my cock, that’s the only word you need to know—and I-I expect you to scream it—shit!” Shanks groaned, bravado faltering as she sucked him in deeper. Her tongue slipping underneath his thick cock as he threw back his head. Hands grasping her head and petting down her hair as he fought to not cum. Flowers tangling around his twitching fingers.

But her mouth was made of sin and his balls ached to not spill down her throat with every movement. Her soft moans vibrating down his cock as his hips jerked forward. Snarling, Shanks yanked her onto his cock further, her wet lips drooling down his length. Despite his harsh treatment, she gripped his thighs harder and moaned loudly. Swallowing faster as she teased her tongue around him.

It certainly wasn’t his intention to fuck her throat, but clearly she wanted to choke on his cock.

“SHIT! F-Fuck, couldn’t take it slow, huh pretty girl? Wanted to let you work the tip but you wanted it balls deep, isn’t that right, Chloris? Fuck what a mouth you’ve got!” Shanks praised. “I-I’ll make it up in a mo-moment! I think my pretty girl needed this more than I did, isn’t that right? W-Well I won’t leave you wanting—f-fuuuuck~!”

Shanks slammed her face onto his cock and held her in place, pouring cum down her throat as she struggled to swallow it all down.

Slowly, he let her pull away, brushing away her hair as she did so. She was panting, face red and eyes bright as she looked up at him. Lips and chin slick with drool and cum. Shanks swiped up the wet mess with a grin, licking his fingers.

“What a beautiful woman.” Shanks praised, crowding her against the flowers. An easy task as she was still breathless. “How does my pretty girl want it? Anything you could ask—you’ve earned it, pretty girl.” Shanks asked, kissing her lips with slow licks, cradling her face between his hands.

“Now—please, I-I can’t wait!” Chloris whined and Shanks chuckled. Kissing along her cheek until he reached her ear.

“I’ll allow it.” Shanks grinned, ripping her dress clean in half. Breasts bouncing free against his chest as he pulled her against him before sitting up. Hands on her ass cheeks spreading her thighs as he slammed her onto his lap, cock driving out a scream. “What my pretty girl wants, my pretty girl gets~” Shanks crowed, bouncing her on his cock despite the clear struggle to take him.

It was mean, borderline cruel, but for such a good girl it was the least he could do.

Her cunt soaked his lap with every hard bounce, squeezing his cock tight as she moaned. Shanks laughed, holding her in place against his chest so she wouldn’t fall back into the grass. With such a beautiful display before him, Shanks felt his mouth water. Indulgently nipping the bouncing swell of her breasts pinned against his body. Her cries growing more desperate as she fought to hold him tighter. Hands finding purchase in his shirt as she wailed, creaming profusely on his cock.

Shanks struck, sinking his fangs into her bared neck.

“—ooOH~! AH-H-hahn~ S-Sh-ahnks~!” She moaned as her blood spilled into his mouth. Sweet and delicate like her trembling cunt struggling to hold onto his cock. It was a heady taste, the kind he could get used to. Every hilt making her heart beat harder with arousal.

Shanks felt Chloris’ trembling hands grasp his head and pull him close. He grinned, roughly tipping her back further as his thighs slapped against her ass. He drank in long, slow draws as she began to shake again. Legs wrapping around his hips in a useless attempt to keep him inside while he fucked her into the dirt harder to make up for the change in position.

His balls aching as he chased his release while drinking the aftermath of her own. Arousal thick in her blood as he fucked her to another orgasm relentlessly. Her cunt quivering around him sopping wet as she squeezed his cock hard. Shanks moaned, lapping at her bloody mark as his thighs trembled and he followed her, pouring heat into her aching pussy.

Heady and reinvigorated, Shanks lifted one leg onto his shoulder and pressed in deep, Chloris’ wail cutting through the night air. She jerked and keened but found no sympathy from him despite leaking their shared cum.

“M-My pretty girl wanted it now, isn’t that right?” Shanks mocked lightly, covering up his desire to find more interesting sources to drink from on her body. Her thighs would feel wonderful on his lips, for example. Desperately, Shanks panted against her skin, kissing and nipping whatever he could reach. “You want more, baby? My perfect girl feels so good everywhere. Taking my cock so well, it would be a crime to take it away now~” Shanks cooed, relishing the loud, wet smacks of his balls hitting her wet cunt.

“Y-Yes! More! M-Mo—ooorr~ Aaahn-ah~!” Chloris whined, tugging his hair fruitlessly.

“Everything I give you, huh? Gonna cum for me, pretty girl? Show me how good you are for me?” Shanks whispered into her ear, allowing her to moan directly into his own. Slurred, delirious acknowledgement that she wanted anything he saw fit to give her. “Going to ride this pussy till dawn and spoil you rotten for it.” Shanks swore, moaning as he placed his hands under her knees and pinned them to her chest. Raising her ass for Shanks to go even harder than before.

The smell of sex and blood permeating the delicate floral bouquet she’d been picking.

Chloris threw her head back into the grass with a whine, throat bared and smeared with blood.

“Look at me, Chloris.” Shanks panted, watching as she struggled to right her gaze with every hard fuck against the grass. “W-Who’s fucking you so good? Who’s cock are you screaming for?” Shanks hissed as she creamed on his cock again.

“Y-You~! S-Shanks! Shanks~! Sh—SHANKS!” Chloris yelped, crying out as she squirted hard against his thighs. Accidentally biting her tongue with a mild yelp. Shanks kissed her bared throat before lapping at her tongue, instantly drawn to her blood. Sucking it into his mouth with a groan as he drank the excess.

Shanks finally hilted in deep and came hard, panting against Chloris’ whining lips. Her thighs shaking against his grip as he collapsed onto her with a lazy hand swiping up her cunt to tease her clit for one more orgasm. Pinching as he sought to feel her cum on him one more time.

“R-Right here, Chloris. Take one more and we’re done, pretty girl.” Shanks chuckled as she arched underneath him, soaking his hand and cock. He meant his cum though, so he laughed and kissed her as she squirmed. Fucking her harder to stop overstimulating her. “Take it—take it, pretty girl. Scream if it makes you feel better, just take it—nngh!”

Shanks finally stilled, spilling into her welcoming cunt again with a deep, satisfied groan. Kissing her cheeks as he rolled onto his side, sliding his hand over her ass to keep his cock in place as he throbbed. She panted harshly, one leg trapped over his shoulder as the other weakly stretched over his hip as she hooked her foot around his thigh. Rolling her hip against him with a soft moan.

“S-Shanks~” Chloris smiled, stroking his bared skin.

Shanks kissed her gently.

“Do you live nearby, pretty girl? I’m in need of a place to stay—I promise I can earn my keep~” Shanks cooed, rolling his hip against hers with a sly grin. Chloris laughed, blushing hard as she looked away from his intense gaze.

“…perhaps… if you work a little harder?” She asked demurely.

Shanks laughed, thrilled at the challenge.

“Oh, I can ‘work’ a lot harder than that!” Shanks crowed, allowing his cock to slide onto her wet thighs so he could pick her up.

“I’m sure you can!” Chloris laughed, glancing to the east where he could faintly see a light through the trees.

Leaving their ripped clothing behind, Shanks pressed her back against the nearest tree.

“You sound like you don’t believe me?” Shanks mused, swiping a finger up her soaked thigh through the thick trail of cum, taking care to rub it into her cunt. Shanks waiting for a moment, teasing her clit until she began to squirm. Then he lifted her leg up high enough she had to rely on him for balance. Shanks slammed into the hilt, laughing at her sharp keen. “I better get started.”  

[crystalelemental]

I've talked about the good, I've talked about the bad, but now it's time to talk about the perfectly serviceable. The third game I've played recently, Nexomon, has been completed. I have thoughts.

Unlike with Triangle Strategy, where I ended on "This is a very distinct game from Three Houses, comparisons aren't entirely fair," this game is a Pokemon clone. Like, yes, I know Pokemon is not the only monster catching game, there are plenty of general rules set before them. But the healing center is just a Pokemon Center down to everything's positioning, teams are of six and format is 1v1, and by the time you realize there's a Nexolord, four Champions, and eight Overseers, you start to raise some eyebrows. I feel like the question is less about what tier of legally distinct this game is operating on, but how engaging the game is on its own merits. So while comparison to Pokemon will happen for the point of drawing understanding, I don't plan to harp on this.

Nexomon is decently fun. The monster designs are a mix of pretty cute stuff to your more standard hulking monster things, with the usual issue I take of "all the strong stuff is hulking monster stuff." Almost nothing that's high cute is statistically good. Exploration of the map is decent, and catch mechanics are fairly smooth. It's the usual "lower HP and inflict a status to ease capture," but it feels like better odds than Pokemon. I never felt like I was wasting 20+ Ultra Balls for nothing. On a similar scale, Golden Nexotraps are equivalent to Master Balls, and they are plentiful. I worried about using too many and not being able to just catch the legends, but barring "always make sure you have one in case of Luhava," there are so many in just the main game you won't run out, and postgame absolutely showers you with them. It makes it a lot easier to manage, even if I ended the game with like 40 of them because I didn't know this and hoarded. Don't be like me.

Encounters are random, and that comes with the usual frustrations of not finding the rare stuff in like an hour of searching. It's especially egregious because this game gets super granular. The specific patches of grass have different possible encounter tables, and there are several situations where the first stage of an evolutionary line exists in one (1) patch of grass on one (1) screen, and literally nowhere else. It's too much.

I'd also be willing to argue there are just too many monsters. 310 is a lot for a game with only seven types. There's really not that much room for variance, and the variance they do have is...not always good. This game lacks Pokemons EVs, natures, or TMs. Two of the same Nexomon at the same level are functionally identical, there is no difference between them. What separates things out is between species, and is a factor of Stats, Moveset, and Type.

There are, as stated, only seven types. Each of them has two Very Effective and Not Effective matchups. The offensive and defensive alignment is reciprocal. For example, Water is good against Fire and Mineral. This means that Water attacks deal 50% more to Fire and Mineral, while Fire and Mineral attacks deal 50% less to a Water. It makes the type chart a lot easier to comprehend, and results in perfect balance. Well. Barring some main game meta considerations, where Wind gets absolutely hosed late-game with major bosses having no types Wind is strong against, but both of Wind's weaknesses. But it is balanced. Normal is the odd one out, being neither strong against nor weak to anything. My final stance on Normal is that they're a pain. They're excellent in enemy hands where it's hard to one-shot them, but in your hands they tend to lack firepower to one-shot an opponent and get trucked. The game operates on an odd mechanic, where if you get a KO, the next thing the opponent sends out gets to attack you right away. It's good for preventing a Pokemon-style clean sweep, but also means that rotating your Nexomon in battle is essential, and Normal having no resists makes them harder to get in. I came away not loving Normal.

Moveset is simple. What you learn is what you learn, there is no deviation. This is, to me, what hurts most. Rarity is a thing in this game. It will tell you what you found is Common, Uncommon, Rare, Mega Rare, Special, or Legendary. Each step up is generally statistically superior (barring some exceptions), and generally has better moves. The big aim is the ultimate moves, with 90% accuracy and base 95 power. Mega Rare, Special, and Legendary get these reliably. Anything else has to pray, and usually gets stuck around 70. Which is serviceable, but you notice the lack of power from lower stats and lower move damage. The big contributor, then, to a lower-tier Nexomon's performance is status. Status is kind in this game. If you can land a confuse, congrats and trucking literally any boss. Even lesser status like sleep, freeze, paralysis, and bind are devastating, stopping an opponent's movement completely. Poison and Burn suck, but what can you do. Acquisition of good moves helps or hinders severely. One Nexomon I loved by design, Emperabee, wound up getting benched because its strongest on-type move...was base 55. It couldn't one-shot random Uncommon encounters 10 levels below it. And that's a major problem. On the flip side, some really good stat stuff is bad because of lack of access. Jeeta, my starter, only has Electric moves. It has no strong Normal move, so it gets hard walled by its weaknesses. Meanwhile the Mega Rare bird has Tornado, which is strong against both weaknesses, making it objectively better. I think if I'd want anything cleaned up, it'd be this moveset issue. At a minimum, anything that rare should be getting a neutral move.

Stats are harder to parse, because they matter, but not how you think. Damage in this game is high. It is not uncommon for battles to be won in two shots, regardless of move strength. Even Tackle will get good mileage. The transition, then, is from a two-shot to a one-shot. If you can't one-shot anyway, a stronger move isn't meaningful, it's just more stamina. As a result, only the Mega Rare and above tend to be functionally any different offensively. Rather, defensively is the problem. Common and Uncommons get absolutely trucked by every attack. Even resists put on a serious dent. Rare and above tends to be a lot more durable, and it's that distinction that matters most in trainer battles. Again, you rotate Nexomon a lot, so taking hits is significantly important. If you can't take hits, and you can't one-shot, you're more likely to drop before you finish a job. And it's a shame, because a lot of my favorite designs were Uncommons.

There are exceptions. Monolix, my beloved weirdo mineral beast, has better stats than Arctivore, the Mega rare, and access to both a strong neutral which Arctivore lacks, and the same top damage Mineral attack. Its distinction is lack of any status. And this is a serious consideration, given the impact status has.

I say all this to point out, it's an interesting system, but they do telegraph really strongly what's viable and what isn't. Not that you can't win with commons and uncommons, but it's going to be a much, much tougher time. I think its lack of customization compared to Pokemon is really the deciding factor. When you have an uncommon that's statistically inferior and has no real access to a good status-inflicting damage move, they're basically useless. There's no serious function to some of these, and no means of pulling them up out of those trenches.

...which is still true of Pokemon. Some options just suck ass regardless of what you do. You can still win, but it's still an uphill battle. The positive spin is the lack of Snadslash Factor, which is what I call the Pokemon phenomenon of "What the fuck do you mean this thing doesn't naturally learn any moves of its type?" Sandslash's only naturally learned Ground move was the useless Sand Tomb until Generation fucking six. Nexomon does not have this problem. You may not get the best move, but you usually get a good move in your type. Nothing is relegated to that nonsense, and nothing has to wait too long for something of its element. In this way, I think it is much improved.

If there are problems with Nexomon as a game, I would say it's a twofold issue of its lowly origins, and being insincere at times.

By lowly origins, I mean this started as a microtransaction phone game and it shows. The clear delineation of rarity being equivalent to performance, but with specific super rare things you can't obtain naturally having advantage is very in line with that kind of game. The lack of customization, just get a better thing, is also very in line. While I wound up liking the Netherworld, it is insanely funny to look something up and be greeted by "Yeah the EXP Share and EXP Boost were purchasable items you got to use for like a day at a time and then had to re-buy." Suddenly that whole zone resetting you to level 5 makes a lot more sense. They're trying to sell microtransactions. That whole sequence goes at a decent pace with the items permanently on, but I admit it's more grinding work than I'd otherwise appreciate, especially transitioning into the Warden encounters. There are just some decisions that feel like they're birthed from the kind of game this started as, and while it's never a gamebreaker, it does make me hopeful about its sequel game, which I am assuming does not have the same origins.

Insincerity requires talking about what I haven't mentioned yet: story and characters. Overall, the story is not exceptional, but I wound up being charmed well enough. It's decent light-hearted fun. I think the Nexolord himself goes under-utilized, but the children of Omnicron are great fun, and many of the Overseers are entertaining. My dilemma has less to do with the characters or the direction of its story, so much as its tone and some attempts at humor.

This game does not take itself too seriously, and aims to be funny more than anything. It can succeed pretty well at it too! But there are some jokes that go beyond what I think they want to aim for. Specifically, any fourth-wall-breaking jokes tend to be more of a groan than a giggle.

For example: there is a sequence where your ship is attacked and capsized. In the leadup, the character responsible shows up, angrily proclaiming their revenge, and your robot companion Atlas asks if this is about them being mad about losing at volleyball, which sets them off. That part's decently funny; it's a bit of wit that flows well and feels organic. But when the ship is sunk, you wake up on shore, and your mentor's ghost wakes you up and tells you "All of your allies mysteriously survived, otherwise this game would have a much higher rating." And that's kinda what I mean.

The game pokes fun at certain cliches, while pulling them off verbatim. And it doesn't land as a haha funny when you play the trope straight. Commenting that having to do a specific quest is just padding out the game doesn't make me laugh, it makes me go "then why the fuck did you do it?" If you knew it sucked, why'd you do it? A short quip about it isn't offsetting the fact you're still doing it unironically, and that it is bad. Some of these meta jokes can land because they're not bringing attention to a dumb thing. Like at one point, a character asks if you're okay, and Atlas goes "We were just attacked by a boss with 9999 HP, how do you think?" It's an unwinnable fight for cinematic purposes, but because it's not an annoying video-gamey trope, that one gets to feel more like a bit of meta humor than annoying.

My point is really that at times, it feels like the game doesn't respect what it is based on these jokes. Joking about a cliche or an annoying trope and doing it anyway isn't really humorous, and if you're going to do it anyway probably best to just play that part straight. You can be legitimately funny, but it feels at times like you're trying to paper over lack of a creative task or obstacle with self-effacing humor and it doesn't work out so well.

To give cast its own time: Nadine is my favorite, I have a type. I really liked Merida, she feels like a poster child for failgirl. Overseer Ivan is a good comedic character. I actually really respect that Juliet's thing is being in love with the Nexolord and mad he chose another girl as overseer, going so far that when someone calls her crazy for this, she just goes "So is he! We're perfect for each other!" Respect that hustle, girl. I don't particularly like...uh...the guy who last beat the Nexolord. Ulzar! That guy. He's not particularly interesting on his own merits, but I do like the twist he posits when you meet him.

Spoiler content for story: I think how they play Nexomon's nature and what all of this is, is fairly interesting. They're all descended from Omnicron, and thus can all be driven to cruelty by its whims, leading the midgame swerve to be "You cannot trust your pets, they'll turn on you." You still win with the power of friendship, but despite how abrupt that is, it's still neat. Defeating Omnicron and being told that destroying it for good will mean all Nexomon die with it is cool, and sets itself up well for the sequel. I also do have to applaud the Netherworld segment. I won't go into detail because that one's legitimately a good spin, but the way they play with what happened is honestly pretty cool. That said, I do wish we got a little more of the Children of Omnicron. I know how things shake out justify it a bit, but I was really hoping their re-appearance would result in a bit more development of who they are as people. Or at least the Nexolord doing like. Anything.

My final verdict is I could comfortably recommend this game, but with some caveats. I think it is a very fun time, and a decently developed game, albeit with some aspects that don't always land. It's decently paced, it has some cute and cool monster dudes, the story and cast are serviceable. I had a decent time. We did get Extinction as part of a bundle deal, so that's up next. This is more my wife's game though, she wanted to play it, so I'm waiting for her to start it up before I get going. Stay tuned.

[the-travelling-witch]

well, since you granted it by calling me "mom", i shall act accordingly from now on (　＾∀＾) /lh jk

man, same here, and i should also learn to try and eat more veggies and fruits... BUT THAT'S A FUTURE ❄️ PROBLEM ISN'T IT (o´・∀・)o but i'm glad to hear you're clean from any of those problems, and i wanna use this to say to whoever is reading: hey, it's hard to overcome, but as long as you try then know i'm extremely proud of you and of your goals, no matter how big or small they are <3

thanks for the good wishes holly, means a lot :')

i do hope he comes home fast now that he has no excuses and i'm almost half way to max pity, but he's probably scared of facing me still with a period, emotionally messy and so fucking angy at him not arriving earlier, so i hope for him that he will have some food with him or i'll kick him in his metaphorical nuts (talking of canon scara, because we all know modern au scara will feel it :))

on furina and shenhe... MAN ME TOO ㅠㅠ

(don't worry about it lmao, my daydreaming business is always running rampant, tho if you'd ever publish such work expect max a couple of hours before i come crashing here crying about my adorable indigo haired menace being so thoughtful and whatnot :'> i don't use water bottles as i take a pill and it all goes and basically almost every flavor makes disgusts me when on period but i know he wouldn't mind, less he wants me to throw pillows in his face)

— ❄️

fortunately i like pretty much most of the fruits you come by around here (except for pears, those are on very thin ice) and i probably like just as many veggies as i dislike (all hail our lord and saviour broccoli), so i have a roster of veggies i can toss in pretty much any dish

though i’ve been way worse in the past when it comes to food, i don’t think i’ve ever been at the point of an ed, which i’m very glad for; most of the time i don’t eat, it’s because i forget that the human prison trapping me in the mortal realm requires physical sustenance and cannot live off mental nourishment alone… aka i’m doing sth for 5 hours straight and nothing else exists in that time frame

but, i agree, you can be proud of any amount of progress you make, even if it’s just the resolve to improve; i know that, if you are working towards a goal, any setback can send you spiralling back down, but no amount of effort is ever wasted and you’re doing great <3

i’m keeping my fingers crossed for furina in the next patch (insane amounts of copium on my part) and i’ve kinda given up on the idea that hoyo will remember shenhe is actually an option for upcoming banners (though i would pull her before furina if that was an option ㅠㅠ)

(i normally get the urge to write comfort the second i wake up from cramps but i don’t always have the time to actually follow through on it… though i guess a genshin version is always a possibility… even if it’s disgusting, you still need the power and scara knows that, so he’s still working hard!!)

[flowerfacedowl]

Hey love it's alright, you did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. Therapists are like shoes, sometimes they fit, sometimes they don't. And you need a good fitting one to walk forward. Maybe your current therapist can recommend you somebody to try on for size? Because you deserve to get better!! You deserve this magic of things moving forward that happens when you really vibe with a therapist. Don't give up💕

I have a shitty ex too. And only after he's gone i really realized how abusive he was. But tbh i still miss him. And i probably will for a while. And my head will probably keep replaying all those little moments that were good and the sound of his voice for a little while longer. Because abusive or not he was the center of my universe and when he left it just pulled the rug from under my life. But u know what? We both deserve so much better. You deserve to be loved right. You deserve that things get better for you. Life is cruel sometimes, unfair and unnecessarily hard. But the good thing is that this is not the only thing it is. There are still so many happy things out there, people to love, happy memories to make, moments to experience, that are worth staying alive for. Because life can also be really really sweet when it wants to be. I believe in you that you'll make it through this rough patch. Things will get easier again, i promise 💕🌸

thank you so much for writing this out. i'm crying again because of your kindness. i understand being anon but i kind of wish you weren't so i could reply privately too. thank you for believing in me and saying i deserve to heal and to not give up in finding a better fit for a therapist. i just feel like a failure and like it's my fault because i'm too much/not enough, even though i've been trying so hard for over a year to do everything right. so now i'm just confused where i went wrong and i don't have clarity even when i try to ask. i'm scared to try therapy again because i don't know how i can be vulnerable all over again, and i'm scared to mess things up again and waste someone else's time.

thank you for what you wrote about my ex and i am so sorry that you had a shitty abusive ex, too. i walked away because of that, too, i was trying to do what i thought an empowered person would do, but i'm doubting myself and it still hurts even so many months later. i empathize so much with how you said the rug felt pulled up underneath you after your ex left, and i am so sorry you went through that. you didn't deserve to feel that way or go through that. you deserve so much better. thank you for saying i deserve that too.

i'm trying to hold onto those happy, meaningful moments. i think it's just that this feeling has felt endless for so long, and i've tried to work through it in therapy, and to be told i'm too stuck and self-sabotaging despite all of my attempts and 'doing the hard thing' feels like i'm even more hopeless. i'm trying to hope that there can be happy moments and experiences to come. thank you for believing in me and sending me a message because tonight has been rough and knowing you thought of me enough to send me kind encouragement means more than i can express. i hope you know you are deserving of those happy, peaceful, gentle, lovely moments over and over again.

[kelp-eaters-united]

Hey! It's super cool that you're getting into mending - the more folks fixing their own things the better. I'm more-or-less new here myself (I only started mending my clothes about a year ago) so I really understand how overwhelming it can seem. There's so many materials, so many skills, so many methods, and they all seem mandatory. But worry not! Despite the avalanche of information, this is a surmountable problem.

This is not an exhaustive list and I'm sure there's others with more experience than me. If anyone has more information, please send it my way as well.

(this is gonna get long, so the rest is under a readmore)

ADVICE:

Here's some things that helped me out when I was first starting. If they don't work for you, nose around for inspiration that fits what you need.

Your first project may end up looking really bad. Literally no one else is going to notice. I promise. "Hey, I like your pants" "Thanks! I mended this part right here, myself" "Really? You can do that?? That's so cool!"

2. Every article of clothing you fix is one less gone to waste. This is not meant to frighten you. You cannot singlehandedly overturn all of fast fashion, but everything you do accomplish is a tangible bit of progress.

3. Every minute you spend having fun mending is another minute you aren't being sold something. Simply genuinely enjoying yourself is more than worth it.

4. Most tears, even major ones aren't on a time limit. Yes, the more you wear a torn garment the bigger the hole will be. But that just means you make your patch a bit bigger! There's no set expiration date.

5. If it's a huge hole in a major structural area and it looks like eye catching visible mending is going to be too much of a project just... make it ugly. Slap a big black patch over the hole and secure it with a couple layers of stitches. Sometimes practical is better than pretty.

MATERIALS:

You really don't need expensive materials to get started. Fabric construction concerns can come later down the road. All you need to really keep in mind is to roughly match the weight of the patch with the weight of whatever you're mending. Using silk to mend denim will be a huge headache. You can do it, there's no rules.

Stuff to keep around: There's lots of specialty tools that you may want to look into later, but for now all you need is the basics.

1. Needles. Many needles have specific uses, but you can avoid those for now. Just get a thick medium-sized needle with a large eye so its easy to thread.

2. Thread. Embroidery floss can be used as an all-purpose basic thread for doing things by hand. Sashiko thread is great but it can be pricey.

3. Scissors. The stork shaped scissors have an absolute chokehold grip on my heart but they aren't mandatory. A full-sized pair of paper scissors can cut fabric as well as thread.

4. A stitch ripper. If you want to go back and pull out some stitches, a stitch ripper is the way to go. I've pulled out stitches with scissors and with xacto knives and I’ve found nothing better than my $1 stitch ripper from walmart.

5. Pins. Safety pins, round-headed pins, pins from your florist friend, anything will do. All you need is something to hold your fabric in place while you work. I even pinned down my fabric with other sewing needles once, in a time of crisis.

6. Fabric. Everything is fabric. Old shirts, some curtains you were gonna throw away, the cushon from your neighbor's outdoor patio furniture (with permission), the dog bed your puppy chewed up (wash it). Attack the fabric with some scissors and you suddenly have more patches than you know what to do with.

Where to get stuff:

1.Thrift/consignment/charity stores. Buy whatever is on sale in the material you need.

2. Sewing shops. Some sewing shops sell small samplers of mixed fabric they're trying to get rid of. The one in my town has a bundle of five for $5. It's more expensive than bying a full yard but the upside is that you don't have to buy a full yard.

3. High school, uni, or community crafting classes often have scraps left over. If you ask nicely they may let you walk away with an entire trash bag of scraps.

4. Dental floss can be used in place of thread for heartier projects. Not good for fine details, but you may have it in your house already. Free is nice.

5. The ground. I've found socks, bananas, leather belts, whole sweaters, and various t shirts just lying around while walking my dogs. Toss it in your washing machine! Avoid garments that look caked in mud or like they've been rained on too long since the effort it takes to wash might not be worth it. Also keep an eye out in case it looks like someone is coming back for the item. If there's work gloves in a construction zone, someone probably wants em back.

6. Walmart, or whichever large store is in your area. There's no shame in buying yourself a $5 starter sewing kit just to get basic materials. It'll have some cheap scissors, a stitch ripper, some buttons, a measuring tape, and maybe a thimble. You can find packs of pins on the same aisle. BOOKS: If you've got access to a public library near you these can gotten for completely free. Ask the help desk if you don't know where to look for what you need. You can also ask about Inter Library Loans if your library doesn't happen to have the book. (You can also acquire pdfs of many of these online if you're cool with piracy)

If you just can't make that work, no worries! There's no shame in ordering these books online and having them shipped to your door.

Mending Life: A Handbook for Repairing Clothes and Hearts by Nina and Soya Montenegro Really great for starting out. Covers several common methods of fixing holes and has step-by-step illustrations that explain things better than most books I've found. The hardback cover has a cool texture to it, too. I often open the book to the page I want and search youtube for a video on the same method. That way i can go back and fourth between the two if I just don't understand.

Modern Mending by Erin Lewis-Fitzgerald This one's great because it uses photos of the author's actual hands. I struggle with illustrations because it's hard for me to think in 3D space which is why I like youtube videos. I disagree with the section on "essential equipment". It's a bit intimidating since the author has an array of fancy tools that you may not find you need. Other than that, though, this is a great resource to keep around. It's useful to help you get ideas on how to mend things other than just pants. ONLINE RESOURCES:

Wasteless Crafts is a great blog to go to with questions. They cover more advanced topics like garment modification, but they have a whole section for bare-bones-beginners. If you're super stuck, their askbox is always open. They have great links to outside videos to help you learn a technique you're struggling with.

Made Everyday has helped me a ton whenever I've needed to pull out my (bad, old, cheap) sewing machine. The host is lovely and encouraging. She explains what she's doing and goes into detail as to why it is that she's doing what she's doing. Hit up the search bar on her channel and she likely has a video explaining how to do what you need doing.

I hope you find some of this useful. Mending can be a relaxing and rewarding activity but I know that there's so much to learn. It can seem like you have to know all of it right now before you can even start. You don't. Pick up a needle and make an ugly patch!

I really want to learn how to sew, but I'm very overwhelmed. I'm afraid of practicing on most things for fear of messing them up and wasting them. I'm really the kind of person who needs someone teaching me and available to answer my questions, but I don't have anyone for that and there's several reasons I'm apprehensive about finding a class (the most rational of which are my lack of income and COVID, but social anxiety is also a factor).

I know there's guides and videos online, but I always get so overwhelmed and usually don't know where to start because all my ideas are abstract, abstract to me specifically (because I don't know how fabric construction works), or difficult and/or risky enough to scare and/or confuse me out of wanting to do it.

Does anyone have tips for teaching yourself to sew? How do I practice without being wasteful?