#and how it’s part of the reason that I can never be as close to her as I am or. was? to you.

[madamechrissy]

Girl I'm Into It

NSFW- WC- 1.4k- Request for heavy petting w/Gojo! College AU, lots of dry humping, touching, and teasing, Virgin Gojo blushing and whimpering for reasons lol <3

"Holy fuck the party's cramped." You mumble, sipping on this godawful punch in the middle of a rather insane frat party. The scent of smoke and cloyingly sweet liquor mixes with the endless amounts of men's axe body spray and cheap perfume. You look at Satoru then, shaking your head at him. "You really joining the frat, Toru?"

"Yeah, I mean why not? Suguru and Kento are."

"I know but... we play Digimon, Toru."

"Hush!" Satoru covers your mouth up quickly, looking around nervously, making you both laugh then. "You're the nerd."

"Me!?"

"You. Hey man, watch it!" Satoru shoves a dude who has bumped into you out of the way now, sighing as there are just far too many people, watching as you get nervous. "Wanna go to a room? Get away?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind?" You and Satoru had been friends forever, including now that you're in college of course, but parties weren't your thing, especially frat parties. But, you want to support Satoru in whatever he does. He leads you down the halls now, opening a room and peeking in, seeing a couple on the bed.

"Shit, sorry!" He closes the door, now opening another, grinning down at you brightly, his pretty blue eyes glittering under snowy lashes. "Got it."

"Thanks, Toru." You murmur, as he leads you in the room and shuts the door behind you both, the bed looks... questionable, so he instead sits on a big recliner, patting his long leg. You blush at the thought, hoping he can't see.

"Seat right here. The bed looks diseased." He says with a shiver of disgust, you laugh then, sitting on his thigh. You all had done this before at parties, you were good friends and it wasn't crazy but...

But Satoru's leg feels so good between your thighs.

So good you're nervous he can sense your heat, as you've both gotten older you've had more and more feelings for him. But now he's at this university, going to be in a frat, and you're over at an art school, he's right in saying you are a nerd...

"What's wrong silly?" He asks then, peeking at his phone, popping on a song, you try to relax a bit when his big hand is on your bare thigh so casually, he's leaning back to get comfortable, long legs sprawled out, pressing his thigh up even more.

"Um..." You gasp then, when your hips shift, and you feel your panties getting wet, panicking. He has on jeans thank god, maybe he doesn't notice!?

"Recharge that social battery." He teases, and you turn your head again, shifting your hips experimentally, he pauses now, lips parted, pouty pink ones you want to kiss so damn bad. "Fuck... you're..."

"Sorry, shit." You stand now, then look down in horror at the wet spot on his light blue jeans, covering your face in embarrassment. He gulps then, running a thumb over the sticky wetness, exhaling, blue eyes locked on it. "I'll leave-"

"Stop, it's normal yeah?" He laps it up on his thumb, moaning, and your pussy throbs around nothing. "Fuck it's... sweet?"

"It is?" You whisper, he nods then, looking up at you under those long snowy lashes, taking your hips carefully and spinning you towards him. "Gojo I've never..."

"Me either." You gasp at that, eyes wide, and he's blushing now, cheeks flushed pink on his perfect skin.

"How!? You're so popular, and gorgeous-"

"You think I'm gorgeous?" He asks, thin white brows drawn together, now you're between his thighs, his hands pressing into your hips, your entire body is reacting, your breaths quicker and quicker.

"Of course I do, Toru."

"Well I think you're pretty. So pretty." He says softly, and suddenly your hand is running through his silky white locks, as the other rests on a strong bicep over his long sleeved shirt.

"You do?" You manage to whisper, he nods, pulling you on his lap then, your thighs on either side, shaking as you kneel over him. "Toru what are..."

"Can we kiss? Please? Pretty please?" He bats his lashes, pouting, and you nod with a little nervous laugh. "I've done some things if you want me to show you?"

"Like kiss?" You whisper, lips pressing against his now, Satoru moans against your lips, you feel them, plush and firm against yours, his hot tongue slipping inside your mouth, you gasp then. You cling to his shoulders as your panties now brush against his lap, and you sink down, crying out at how good it feels, his hardness between your dripping folds.

"You're a good kisser." He murmurs, pulling back, pressing you down firmer now, and you're soaking your panties, ruining them completely, earning his groan. "I can feel how hot you are. She's so needy, hmm?" His tone goes husky, your lips part at it, gasping, your head falling back as you roll your hips again, grinding on his cock over his clothes.

"Satoru... need more." You whimper when he's kissing the tops of your breasts, then up your throat, licking and biting, bucking his hips up then, earning another cry of pleasure, heat pooling in your core. "Ngh!"

"Those sounds you make, fuck..." Satoru picks you up by your hips then, slipping a finger to your swollen clit over your panties. "They're soaked."

"Embarrassing... ah!" Satoru's little hum of satisfaction just makes you wetter, he's looking right at you, and you're drowning in that gaze, in the swirling blue depths of his eyes.

"Let me make you cum." He whispers, slipping past the elastic of your panties now, finding your soaking wet pussy with his fingers, you nearly fall apart at it, pausing your movements. He moans, hard cock shoving up more. "No, keep rocking on me."

"Y-you sure?" He nods eagerly, so you rock more on Satoru's cock, his finger rolling on your clit now in little circles, watching you, flushed cheeks, parted full lips. You kiss them as you cry out, grinding helplessly while he keeps rolling circles, then starts flicking back and forth. "Toru!"

"So wet, oh my god... so pretty..." He is urging you on more and more with every breath, every kiss, until you're about to fall, and he's sensing it, free hand grabbing your ass, shoving you further on his clothed cock, panties a sticky mess. You're dripping all the way down his finger as he's moaning, harder and harder between your lips. "Let go, I've got you."

"Toru I-"

"Cum." You scream out then, as if on command, shuddering as your wetness gushes all over, as you throb around nothing, making a mess of his finger, your panties, his jeans. He moans now, sucking on his finger before kissing you, grinding up more and more, gasping as you're trembling, clinging to him, wanting more and more...

suddenly the door knocks, and you both curse. "Go away." He grumbles, you giggle then, hips moving just a bit, and Satoru is now slipping down his zipper, you watch with a gulp as his cock is revealed, a sticky wet spot on his boxers as his pretty cock springs free, long and curved, making you wetter. " Can I... rub it on you?" He asks, you nod nervously, and Satoru now has slipped his pretty pink tip into your panties, rubbing on your engorged clit.

"Satoru!" You're gushing more and more, and he groans then, all flushed, clinging to your ass as he fucks your panties.

"F-fuck you're too wet, too hot I- ah- oh my god..." You feel something hot and sticky against you now, and you flush, looking down to see Satoru's cock is spurting hot white ropes of sticky cum agaisnt you. He rests his head on your chest, whimpering. "Fuck I'm sorry. Shit, shit shit..."

"Toru... it's okay." You whisper then, he is blushing as bad as you are when he tilts back, looking up, cupping your face gently. You place your hand down and lap some of it up, moaning. "You're yummy too."

"Fuck... let me..." Satoru picks you up then, taking off the panties he'd cum in, laughing a little nervously as you watch him, only for him to turn you and sit you on the seat, pushing your thighs apart. He fingers the sticky cum on your pussy lips, kneeling then.

"W-what are you doing?" You whisper, and he looks up at you with dilated eyes, kissing up your inner thigh.

"Gonna clean up my mess."

Virgin Toru is new for me aha, but he's adorableee

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 The Three-Month Rule.

Spencer Reid x BAU!reader

Summary: The first time you decide to skip the celebration and go to bed early, and the first time Spencer decides to drink and open his heart to you after knowing you're leaving for three months.

Words: 5,5k (very long).

TW: fem!reader. spencer from the first seasons with glasses meow (my fav)+also he is a little drunk and lovesick puppy. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: These two are probably one of my favorites, this felt so warm to write and before you ask, yep, I've been thinking about a part two (maybe even more, who knows).

♡ Enjoy! ♡

I. Moonlight ⏾

The night after closing a case with a positive outcome often involved celebratory drinks and lengthy discussions about everyday topics. For you and your colleagues, it was a rare opportunity for relaxation. It was a way to temporarily distance yourselves from the challenging situations you had encountered. A great way to relieve stress.

Typically, you would choose to remain in the chair situated in the center of the bar and sip your drink at a leisurely pace, allowing it to last all night as you chatted and shared lighthearted banter about various topics, though you would never discuss work. You were always smiling, as if nothing unfortunate had ever happened. And you always looked beautiful, so distant and impossible to catch.

Spencer always looked at you, biting his tongue to keep from sputtering out all the words that struggled to come out every time his eyes fell on yours. He didn't even take a sip of the drinks that were offered to him. As a rule, he didn't drink alcohol at all, and he liked it even less when he knew it could affect how he saw you. So clearly. So real. As if you were the most amazing work of art he'd ever seen, even if he wasn't very familiar with art.

Tonight, sadly, everything was different.

He had not been able to indulge in that particular pleasure of admiring you because you had chosen to return to your room rather than stay with the rest of the team at the hotel bar. It was a lie to say that it had not caught his attention. You had always stayed, even for a glass of water. But now you were...away from everyone. And then he was too.

The time passed rather quickly after he had a couple of sips of different fruity cocktails, which he didn't think would have any effect. Spencer was very mistaken. He found himself walking to the elevator before he had a chance to think things through. It didn't take him long to reach your hotel room. His footsteps were soft but urgent enough to go to the outside of the door. He just wanted to see you, needed to see you, and was already anxious about the reason why he wasn't allowed to do it now.

His knuckles knocked softly on your door with a certain caution, as quietly as possible, but just loud enough for you to hear, as he did his best to keep everyone else from hearing it as well. His hair was slightly disheveled, his glasses were out of place, and the top buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, revealing a glimpse of his collarbones underneath.

“It's me. Reid.” He spoke just loud enough to be heard through the door, his voice slightly raspy but still as soft as ever. “Can I talk to you?”

The sound of his call echoed too loudly inside the empty hotel room. Everything in the place was silent, still, with no lights or air conditioning. The room was almost dark, except for the streaks of city lights filtering through the curtains that ran over the large windows. You had been lying quietly and staring at the ceiling for no more than a minute and thirty seconds, your eyes blank and fixed on the ceiling after waking up so suddenly.

You gradually rose to a seated position and proceeded to the door. Without hesitation, you opened it to find his eyes filled with concern.

“Is everything okay? Are you okay?” Your voice was a little hoarse, and your eyes were still adjusting to the bright light in the hallway.

“I'm fine,” he replied, barely looking at your appearance. Your hair was a mess, and you looked sleepy. He hadn't realized how late it was. “Oh, sorry, did I wake you?”

Yes, of course. It was two o'clock in the morning.

You couldn’t hide the frown of confusion. It was late—far too late for a casual check-in—and yet here he was, standing before you with an air of unease that was so unlike him. “Don’t worry. What’s up?” You asked, leaning against the doorframe, trying to mask your concern.

Thousands of ideas crossed your mind at that moment. Maybe there was a new case, some new clue that would have reopened the four-day investigation that had just ended a few hours ago, or who knows what. The job was as unpredictable as your coworkers.

“I…” Reid’s words faltered before he even began, as if his thoughts were racing far ahead of him. His eyes flitted between you and the hallway, but he couldn’t seem to find the courage to make sense of his feelings, let alone speak them aloud. The alcohol was doing little to help his clarity of thought. It had been a few small sips; he had convinced himself, but now it was doing its work on his resolve. He was here. And he couldn’t walk away. “I was just…that.”

That's when you noticed something: he seemed a little off-balance, with a subtle flush on his cheeks and a lingering smell of alcohol. “Are you under the influence of alcohol, Dr. Reid?”

Oh. Oh. Oh.

If he was surprised to see you so sleepy, he got even more surprised by that question and by how close you've gotten to him. His eyes slightly widened at the close proximity between you both, his mouth slightly agape, and his brain almost completely frozen for a moment, before he shook his head quickly as an attempt to pull himself together. He cleared his throat before speaking, his words stumbling and incoherent.

“What? No, no, I’m not drunk.” He stammered, shaking his head as though trying to convince himself. “I just took a sip.”

Just a sip, two or three, after mentally rereading that ridiculous article about love he had read in one of the magazines in the lobby. The one that made him think about you and how you made him feel, the same one that revolutionized his emotions and his rational part to the point that he drank out of the wrong glass all night long.

“I see.”

Your gaze seemed to linger on his disheveled hair, unbuttoned shirt, mismatched glasses, and the subtle hint of color in his cheeks. You arched an eyebrow in response and took a small step forward to examine his face more closely. This was a version of him you were not entirely familiar with because Spencer Reid wasn’t a drinker.

“You seem a little nervous and flushed. Are you sure you're not drunk?” You asked with concern, noticing his demeanor.

Reid had to suppress a shiver when you moved even closer, nearly reducing his entire nervous system to a puddle of goo. He was incredibly aware of your proximity, like his brain had suddenly become hyperfocused on your existence and every move you made.

“Ah…y-yes, I'm s-sure I’m not-” He stuttered the words, feeling like a complete mess of nerves.

Something feels wrong…different.

You stepped forward, your eyes narrowing in on him, still uncertain but unwilling to leave him in such an odd state. “You’re sweating,” you observed quietly. “Come in. Sit on the bed. I have water.”

Without giving him the chance to refuse, you turned and walked into the room, leaving the door open for him to follow. He didn't even have a chance to react before he found himself inside your room, feeling like he was in a whole different world. Even though he was familiar with the space, as his room was exactly the same, somehow yours felt more comfortable and cozy.

Spencer followed you to the bedside table, still feeling a bit shaky. The scent of your perfume and the quiet of the room made him a bit nervous, but before he could say anything, you offered him a glass.

“Thanks.” He said, taking the water and sitting on the edge of the bed.

As he sat down, the bed sagged slightly under his weight, and he felt a surge of nervousness. Being alone with you in your hotel room suddenly felt incredibly intimate, and he found himself taking small sips of water to keep himself grounded. The drink was refreshing, but it didn't do much to calm the pounding of his heart in his chest. He avoided looking at your figure standing in front of him, focusing instead on the glass in his hands, fidgeting and nervously bouncing his leg.

“Okay, I have to ask now. You showed up at my door out of nowhere, looking like you'd just run a marathon, flushed like a tomato, and reeking of alcohol to boot.” You said, sitting down on the bed next to him. “So what brings you exactly here?” Your voice seemed to ring in his ears.

You. Only you. Forever you.

“I, uh, I came here to...I came here to...talk. I wanted to talk.” He managed to stammer, his eyes fixed on the glass of water.

“To...talk?” You repeated, your voice bringing back his attention. He suddenly felt tongue-tied, like he forgot everything he wanted to say right then and there. “About what?”

You, again.

Reid fiddled nervously, bouncing his leg up and down, and he suddenly felt the urge to pull at his shirt, feeling his skin too warm and overheating under his clothes. Why did it suddenly feel so hot in there, in your hotel room? He found himself unable to maintain eye contact again, but this time he found bravery in the depths of his mind and he managed to speak.

“I, uh…” He paused for a moment, his words becoming shaky. “I just...I just wanted to talk about you.”

Your eyes widened slightly, not expecting that answer. But before you could say anything, Spencer spoke again as his thoughts burst out unfiltered.

“You’ve been quiet. I mean, since the case, and you left the bar early. You’ve been...different, sort of...I mean, not different-” His stammering was cut off by a frustrated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. He was rambling, and he knew it; he could feel how warm he was under the heat of your gaze, but he couldn’t stop his words from coming out. “I heard about the job offer in New York that you've accepted.”

In that moment, you frowned, confused by the drama that perhaps the influence of alcohol in his system was bringing. The job offer was more of an internship than anything else, something temporary, just for three months, not a permanent change of scenery. But for some reason, hearing his words made your heart sink.

You hadn't really expected anyone on the team to be so affected by your leaving for a while; everyone seemed too wrapped up in their own business to wish you anything more than a good trip. After all, the world didn't stop spinning, and serial killers didn't stop killing because you weren't around. You didn't consider yourself that indispensable.

“I just, I don't know...” He mumbled, rubbing his face again, tired of his own thoughts. “I just...I feel like...I might miss you a lot.”

His eyes closed for a split second in fear, but then he looked at you and saw that you were smiling.

“You really drank quite a lot today.” Your tone was gentle as you carefully adjusted his glasses and took the empty glass from his hands. He hadn't even noticed that he had already finished all the water.

The feeling of your fingers on his glasses made his brain buzz for a moment, and he found himself wishing it would last for just a few seconds more. But then the glass was gone, and he was left there fidgeting with his hands.

“I know.” He muttered weakly, feeling the heat and alcohol taking a toll on him. His mind felt foggy, his thoughts swirling around and getting more tangled by the second. “But that’s besides the point.”

“Spencer, you’re being impulsive and emotional.” You said it bluntly, leaning forward slightly. “You were drinking earlier; you're all sweaty, and you're rambling. That's what alcohol does to you…you get overly reactive.”

His gaze shifted to the floor, his fingers gripping the edge of the bed as he let out a shaky breath. “Maybe you’re right,” he admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe I am being impulsive and stupid, but…it doesn’t make it any less true.”

The weight of his words hung in the air between you. There was a vulnerability in his tone that caught you off guard, like he was peeling back layers you hadn’t seen before. You studied him for a moment—the disheveled hair, the flushed cheeks, the way his shoulders slumped slightly under some invisible weight. This wasn’t the person you were used to—the analytical, composed genius who always seemed to have an answer for everything. This was someone raw, someone caught between logic and emotion, struggling to make sense of it all.

“I’m sure you’re incapable of being stupid,” you offered lightly, your tone tinged with a gentle tease, hoping to pull him back from the edge of his spiraling thoughts.

His head lifted, and his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that took your breath away. “I think I love you,” he said, the words tumbling out in a single breath, unpolished but heavy with sincerity.

Your heart stopped for a beat, your breath catching in your throat. “Oh.”

His confession hung in the air, electrifying the space between you. For a moment, neither of you moved, the words settling like a weight in the room. Spencer’s eyes widened slightly, as if realizing the enormity of what he’d just said, but there was no taking it back now. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he awaited your response, his vulnerability laid bare.

“You can be stupid, then.” You say it in a kind of joking tone, trying to process.

Does he love you? The same person you were afraid to touch so much for fear of making him uncomfortable. The same one who looked at you funny when you tried to fall asleep on the jet after drinking too much tea and said incoherent things. The one who always questioned your words with his statistics and exact data. Does he really love you? Can he do it?

It was impossible. Completely impossible.

“You’re a little too drunk to be saying things like that now,” you added gently, a note of concern creeping into your voice.

Carefully, you stood up, moving closer to him, your heart softening as you saw the way his fingers gripped the bed. He looked like he was already treading on the edge of something, but you weren’t sure he was in the right state to navigate it.

His brows furrowed slightly, a conflicted look crossing his face. “I’m fine,” he mumbled, though his words slurred slightly, and his eyes seemed unfocused. He shifted slightly but his balance was off, and his hand wavered as he reached for the glass that had once held water, only to stop and let it fall back onto the bedside table.

“No, you’re not,” you said softly, taking a step closer and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. His warmth was comforting, but it only made you more aware of how fragile he seemed at that moment. “You’re exhausted, and you’ve had too much to drink. You need rest.”

He tried to look at you, his gaze unfocused and blurry. “I don’t want to sleep…not yet. I want to…I want to stay awake with you.” His voice faltered, as if the words were fighting to stay coherent. “Forever with you.”

Did you hear that right? He said…? Really?

“You’re not going to stay awake all night,” you say, talking firmly but kindly. You could see the drunkenness in his eyes, and you knew he needed more than just a glass of water or a few minutes to collect his thoughts. “And you’re staying here for sleep.”

His lips parted in confusion, but you didn't give him a chance to argue. You led him to the bed, supporting him as he swayed slightly. He was too drunk to protest in that moment. Then, you helped him lie down, adjusting the pillows behind him so that he was comfortable. And you also took the time to remove his glasses and shoes, placing them on the bedside table and the floor.

“I’m fine,” he murmured again, but this time it was barely audible, and his eyes were fluttering closed as he relaxed into the bed, his breath evening out. He was fighting sleep, but the weight of his exhaustion was too much for him to push back any longer.

After a brief period of reflection, you sit on the edge of the bed and observe him as he moves slightly. His face appears relaxed, and the tension from before seems to have dissipated. However, there is still a subtle vulnerability in his demeanor: open, unprotected, and exposed in a way you had never seen him before. This only serves to deepen your desire to care for him.

You gently reached over, tucking the covers around him and brushing a lock of hair away from his forehead. “You’re too drunk to be making big decisions tonight, genius,” you whispered softly.

His eyelids fluttered open for a moment, his bleary eyes locking onto yours with a faint sense of clarity. “I didn’t…mean to make you uncomfortable,” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. “I care about you.”

A small smile appeared on your face, your heart aching as you brushed another strand of hair from his forehead. “I know,” you whispered.

His hand reached up weakly, grazing your wrist before falling back to the bed. He blinked a few times, his words coming slower now, as though the weight of sleep was already pulling him under. “I care about you so much,” he repeated, his voice quieter this time, as though he were fading away in the middle of his confession.

You let out a gentle sigh, your thumb brushing his knuckles in a soothing gesture. “I care about you too,” you said, your voice calm but filled with warmth, though you kept your tone soft to keep him relaxed. “But right now, you just need to rest. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about all of this, okay?”

Spencer nodded weakly, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Okay...” He murmured, his breathing muffled even more as his body relaxed on the bed and his gaze rested on you, on every feature of your face. “I think you're very pretty, and not just physically by genetics...you're very, very pretty. I could look at you forever, even if, technically, forever doesn't exist for humans.”

At any moment, your heart would leap out of your chest, or you'd probably vomit butterflies. It was too much sweetness in a Spencer way.

You remained by his side, sitting on the edge, keeping watch over him for a few moments. It felt strange, being so close to him in this way. You hadn’t expected this moment, hadn’t expected his confession.

But for tonight, all you could do was let him rest and let him find peace in his sleep. You brushed one last strand of hair away from his face, then, with a soft sigh, you stood and pulled the blankets up around him.

The silence of the room enveloped you as you settled into bed, careful not to disturb him. You remained seated for a moment, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, his features softened by sleep. In the darkness, Spencer seemed different, more fragile, more human. His usual confidence in every word that came out of his mouth, the brilliant mind that made him so formidable, gave way to something more tender.

You cautiously stretched out your legs and leaned against the headboard. Sleep still seemed a long way off, even though the fatigue of the long case closed in the afternoon weighed heavily on your body. But your thoughts refused to calm down and leave you alone for a moment. His confession kept repeating in your mind, driving you and your heart crazy.

Not knowing what else to do, you let out a long, slow sigh, your fingers brushing the edge of the blanket wrapped around him. He stirred slightly, moving closer to your side as if subconsciously seeking your comfort and closeness. He tilted his head in your direction, a faint smile on his lips, and the sight brought a pang to your chest.

“What am I going to do about you, Spencer Reid?” You murmured to yourself, with a curious sensation in your chest.

You leaned your head back, staring at the ceiling as the questions began to tumble one after another. What if he hadn’t been drinking? Would he still have said those things? Did he even fully realize the gravity of what he’d shared, or was it just a moment of emotional release brought on by the late hour and the relief of a solved case?

And then there was your own reaction. The warmth in your chest, the protectiveness that surged when you saw him looking so vulnerable—it wasn’t new. You’d felt it before in smaller ways: a fleeting moment of connection during a case, a shared glance that lingered just a little too long. You’d always chalked it up to admiration or friendship, but now…

Now it felt like the beginning of a bridge you weren’t sure you were ready to cross.

Another sigh escaped you, and you tilted your head to glance at him again. His hand had slipped out from beneath the blanket, resting loosely against the mattress. Without thinking, you reached out and let your fingers brush against his, barely touching. His skin was warm, his presence grounding in a way you didn’t quite understand but didn’t want to question.

II. Sunlight ☀︎

The first thing you noticed when you woke was the soft warmth of sunlight spilling through the blinds, bathing the room in a quiet, golden glow. It was a still moment, the world outside almost silent, save for the faint hum of traffic far below. For a second, you weren’t sure where you were. The unfamiliar bed, the softness of the sheets, the absence of noise..it all felt distant, like a dream you couldn’t quite grasp.

But then you felt it, a slight weight on your arm. You turned your head slowly, your eyes softening as you took in the sight of Spencer still asleep beside you. His face was turned towards you, half-hidden by the pillow, a lock of hair falling over his forehead. His hand lay just a breath away from yours; his body curled slightly, seeking warmth and comfort. The usual lines of stress and guardedness that creased his features during the day were gone, replaced by a peace you rarely saw. He looked unguarded, almost childlike in his vulnerability, and it made your chest tighten in a way you couldn’t explain.

For a moment, you just watched him, your mind replaying the events of the night before. Especially the way he’d reached for your hand, even in his half-conscious state, like it was instinctive and natural.

And now, here you were, lying next to him, watching him sleep like it was normal and meant to be.

You shifted your position slightly, being careful not to disturb him, and sat up, propping yourself up on your elbow. The room was silent, except for the faint hum of traffic. That stolen morning moment felt intimate to you, and you found yourself wondering how much Spencer would remember when he woke up.

Would you regret it? Would you want to go back and erase it all? Would he stop talking to you forever?

But then, it was almost as if he was meant to give you all those answers because he stirred. His hand moved, his breathing changed, and slowly but surely, his eyes opened. At first, Reid was dull and unfocused as he blinked in the morning light, feeling a sharp headache. Then, as he realized where he was, you saw his expression change: confusion, a flash of concern, and finally recognition.

“Morning,” you said softly, trying not to startle him.

He blinked again and frowned, feeling a twinge in his head. “Morning,” he replied, his voice groggy. He glanced around the room, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings, the tangled blankets, and then you.

You were sitting on the bed next to him—the first thing he saw when he woke up and the first person to greet him. It was just like the kind of dream he'd been having lately—only this time he wasn't asleep.

A brief silence fell as the pieces seemed to click into place in his mind. His lips parted slightly, his eyes widening just a fraction. “Wait,” he murmured, his voice low, almost hesitant. “Last night…”

You gave him a small, reassuring smile, though your heart was racing, unsure of what he might remember, or worse, what he might regret. “You remember?” you asked, your voice quiet but steady.

His hand came up to rub his forehead, trying to shake the lingering fog of sleep. “I think so,” he said slowly. “We finished the case. We went to the bar.” His voice faltered, and his eyes dropped to the bed, as though searching for something solid in the scattered blankets to steady him. “I came here and said…some things, didn’t I?” His words hung in the air, filled with hesitation and a growing sense of discomfort. His cheeks flush, and he quickly looked away from you, almost embarrassed.

You tilted your head, your smile softening. “You said a lot of things.”

Spencer’s cheeks deepened in color, his hand dragging down his face as if that could somehow shield him from the weight of the moment. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I shouldn’t have…I didn’t mean to put you in that position.”

You frowned, leaning forward slightly. “You don’t have to apologize. Not for talking to me.”

His eyes flicked to yours, searching your face for any hint of reproach or discomfort, but all he found was warmth. Still, he hesitated, his fingers playing nervously with the edge of the blanket. “I was drunk, and that’s so embarrassing,” he murmured, his tone tinged with self-reproach. “I don’t even know if what I said came out right.”

“It came out right,” you assured him gently, reaching out to cover his fidgeting hand with yours. The touch stilled him, his wide, uncertain eyes locking onto yours. “And it was just the alcohol talking…I know, don’t worry.”

He stared at your hand covering his, his throat working as if trying to form the right words. He didn’t pull away; if anything, he seemed to steady himself in your touch, though his voice wavered when he finally spoke. “It wasn’t just the alcohol,” he said, his tone quiet but firm. “I don’t want you to think that it made me say something I didn’t mean. Everything I said was true.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the vulnerability in his eyes made the words catch in your throat. He held your gaze, his fingers unconsciously brushing against yours as though grounding himself in the moment.

“I’ve felt this way for a while,” he continued, his cheeks still faintly pink but his voice growing steadier with each word. “I didn’t know how to tell you. And then last night, I guess…I couldn’t hold it back anymore.”

His honesty was like a punch to the chest, leaving you breathless and unsure of how to respond. You hadn’t expected this level of candor, not so soon, and certainly not first thing in the morning. You pulled your hand back gently, needing space to think, though the warmth of his touch lingered like an echo.

He really meant every word.

“Spencer,” you began, your voice cracking. You bit your lip, searching for the right words. “I don't know what to say. It was all so sweet and nice to hear, but I'm not sure I'm ready to find out what this means, especially not with–”

“The distance,” he finished for you, his voice soft but resigned. He looked down, nodding slightly as though he’d anticipated this. “You’re leaving for New York soon.”

You exhaled slowly, relieved that he understood but also pained by the way his shoulders seemed to slump ever so slightly. “It’s just three months,” you said gently, though the words felt hollow.

“I know, since I found out I did the math, and it's three months and four days.” He pointed out, almost not noticing that your cheeks had flushed slightly. “What I need to know is if you...if you have feelings for me, as more than friends.”

“Yes, I do.”

At that moment, it seemed that after almost a year of hiding his heartbeat for your sake, he could finally let his heart beat as much as he wanted.

But then you talk again.

“But it’s not fair to either of us to make any big decisions now, when I have to leave soon. I don’t want to risk ruining what we already have if we…if something doesn’t work.”

He looked at you, his expression serious. “But what if it works well?” Reid asked, his voice barely above a whisper. There was no despair in his tone, only quiet hope. “What if it's so much better that we have between us now? Isn’t that worth the risk?”

His question settled between you, heavy and unanswerable in the moment. It wasn’t desperate or pleading—it was simply Spencer, laying his heart bare with a quiet hope that made your chest ache.

“I'm not sure,” you replied, your expression thoughtful. “Three months is a significant amount of time,” you added, striving to acknowledge his feelings while maintaining a degree of caution.

“I can wait if it's for you. I can.” He replied without hesitation.

The unwavering certainty in his voice and the calm patience he offered you were more than you expected. Perhaps even more than you thought you deserved.

“You shouldn’t have to wait for me,” you said softly, your gaze falling to the sheets. “It’s not fair to ask that of you.”

Spencer shook his head, a faint smile playing on his lips. “You didn’t ask,” he replied gently. “This is my choice.”

“What if the distance changes things? What if we lose this…connection?” you asked, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.

“Then we’ll figure it out,” he said, his voice steady but kind. “Like I said, it’s not like I haven’t done the math before. Three months isn’t forever, and if what we feel is real, then it won’t fade.”

In that moment, it was like a light bulb went off in your head, and the perfect solution just came to you.

“Exactly.” You pointed out with a small smile. “You know the three-month rule?”

Never before had you seen Dr. Reid confused, denying knowledge of any subject. It was as if the alcohol of the night before had caused a circuit breaker in his brain, or else you had no explanation for having to explain something he didn't know, and you did.

“A few weeks ago, I was drinking coffee and overheard a woman at the next table talking about how the first three months between two persons are enough to indicate whether they have a future or not.” You began to explain quickly, feeling a bit strange at how the usual roles between you seemed to have been turned upside down. “You know, if they're going to make it as a couple.”

Spencer’s brow furrowed, his lips pressing into a thin line as he considered your words. “You mean…is like a trial period?” he asked, a hint of doubt in his voice.

You nodded, feeling a flicker of nervous energy coursing through your entire body. “Yes, that's exactly it. So we don't have to put a label on it right away or rush into it. But we could call, text, talk, maybe visit...just see how it feels. And when I officially come back, we'll know if it's something we really want to pursue.”

He was silent for a moment, his eyes studying yours as though weighing the sincerity in your suggestion.

“Okay,” he said, his voice soft but resolve. “Three months. We’ll figure this out.”

Relief flooded you, though it was tempered by the uncertainty of what lay ahead. “Three months,” you repeated, a faint smile tugging at your lips. “And we’ll talk. Be honest. No expectations and the assurance that we can be friends again if we want.”

Spencer’s smile grew a fraction, and this time, when his hand reached for yours, it was deliberate. “Honesty,” he echoed, his thumb brushing lightly against your knuckles. “I can do that.”

For the first time that morning, the tension between you eased, replaced by a fragile but undeniable sense of hope. It wasn't a resolution, not quite, but it was a step forward, a promise to try. And for now, that was more than enough.

Because night before, you'd gone to bed early, thinking you didn't have much of a future at the BAU. But now you had Spencer with you in a way you'd never thought possible, and everything feels right.

[keferon]

Eh okay so. My brain is absolutely cooked so you will probably just have to ignore the linguistic fuckups

Jazz and Prowl learning to communicate because language barrier is a thing >:D

Previous part

Jazz sometimes thinks that somewhere along his career path he lost the bar separating normal from...well...everything else.

After all he's seen, heard about, and done, he's not sure exactly how to measure what's weird and what's normal. He has..the general idea.

His own. And it's so convoluted and fucked up that he'd rather jump into a volcano than try to explain it to anyone else. Jazz thinks the little colorful aliens around him are weird as hell. He thinks they sound weird, he thinks they look weird, and he thinks he must be going crazy.

And then this big black and white robot catches his eye and Jazz's first thought is not "what the fuck??"

His first thought is

"Thank God! Someone's normal!"

Whoever this guy is, he sounds like he knows what he's doing. And most importantly, he looks just like Jazz. Well, not exactly. But close enough. After all, Jazz knows that his organization wasn't the only mech maker on the entire planet. Other countries were making Mechs too, and Jazz hadn't seen even half of them.

But he can recognize a giant robot when he sees one, okay?

The thought that another mech could be an alien doesn't even enter his mind.

So used to the constant presence of huge piloted robots around him, he looks at this one and clings to its appearance as something familiar and easily explainable. His brain says, we know how this works. There's a robot and inside the robot there's another person. It's the way it's always been. The sky is blue, the grass is green and the robots are human-piloted. It's that simple.

The guy takes him to the far corner of the room and says something. Jazz…doesn't understand..

The mech's face contorts in a surprisingly believable display of concentration. How...who built this robot? How could they make it frown?

He hears something else being said to him but again can't understand a word. Why won't this pilot get out of the mech to talk to him? Jazz doesn't have his communication frequency but surely they could at least shake hands. There must be some reason. Maybe something wrong with the air? Is it dangerous to be outside? This guy should know better, he's been here longer than Jazz, it seems.

(Damn it, whose idea was it to make a mech with a face, it's so distracting)

He rushes to activate the external speakers, because he and this guy obviously speak different languages, but it never hurts to try, right?

"So uh, I don't think you can understand English?"

Mech frowns again, trying to pick up on something familiar in a language that's apparently new to him. But finds nothing. Jazz lowers his horns sadly.

Oh well. Fuck. As if being stuck in an unknown place with unknown creatures wasn't enough, he can't even talk to anyone! How is he supposed to get out of here? Which way should he even go?

The mech waves his hand to get his attention and then pulls out a tablet and a stylus from..where ?

Jazz somehow manages to overlook the fact that the tablet is made to fit the mech's size. His head is still feels a bit…off..after that portal thingie.

"Charades it is then."

____________________

An hour and a half later, Jazz finds himself staring intensely at the screen in front of him with a surprisingly neatly drawn chart on it.

"So uh. Motion."

The other guy nods and starts drawing a walking mech. Then something that looks like a very unusual car. Then a submarine. Jazz gets a little lost looking at how skillful he is with the stylus.

Honestly, he's a good artist!

The guy points to the sketch of a walking mech and says

" Motion."

Then points to the drawing of a car driving and the columns of the chart.

"Motion-rotation" he points to the car again.

That must mean "driving" huh? Jazz nods understandingly.

Mech moves his finger to the submarine.

"Motion-Water."

Ah, it must mean swimming. Jazz nods once more, feeling like a wind-up dummy repeating the same motion a dozen times.

The mech makes a quiet humming noise and then points to the chart

"Motion. Sky."

And then gives Jazz the stylus?

Uh, what is he... Oh, he wants Jazz to figure out what it means.

"Motion" and "sky," right?

Jazz takes the stylus? Pencil? Thingie.. and very carefully draws out a crooked scribble of something only remotely resembling an airplane. The mech arches an eyebrow and looks like he wants to laugh.

Jazz shrugs awkwardly and tries to add windows to the airplane, but ends up making it look more like a severely fucked up caterpillar.

Mech snorts.

Jazz kicks him in the leg.

The airplane begs for a merciful death.

Jazz didn't really expect to get into a language class but he has to admit that whatever language he's learning now is a surprisingly easy one. It only took the other dude half an hour to show him the basic concept and from there it became a game of associations.

There were simple definitions. Like size, quantity, speed, emotion and so on.

There were signs that automatically turned the whole sentence into a question or a statement.

There were modifiers that Jazz defined in his head as positive and negative.

Positive speed - fast.

Positive size - large.

Positive direction - forward.

Positive time - future.

There were also basic words for senses, emotions and whatnot, also with modifiers.

Mouth-positive - to speak

Brain-positive - to think, but negative-brain-do-positive - to learn.

Huh.

And it's so neatly organized that Jazz wondered if this language was designed specifically to be easy to learn.

Let's see....

Mouth - positive, effort - negative.

"Easy to speak."

The guy nods contentedly and starts talking back, while pointing to the appropriate columns of the chart to make it easier for Jazz to understand.

"Creation-positive. Purpose. Person-negative-knowledge. memory-positive-effort-negative."

Jazz frowns, concentrating on his finger.

Oh. Created. For those who don't know it. Easy to learn.

He was right. The whole thing is waaaay too awkward to write poetry but learning it is a delight.

Jazz leans over the chart.

All right, well, let's see.

“Name. You. Question?”

The other guy smiles and pokes at the chart

"Me.Motion-sound-negative.Negative-eyes-positive-someone."

Walk quietly. searching?… Sneaking?

Oh, it's not "to sneak" it's "to prowl"

"Prowl" nods affirmatively. Jazz smiles at him and looks at the chart again. Okay. How to say “music”?..

“word-knowledge-negative.”

He stops to make a gesture with his hands, as if playing an invisible piano while humming a tune.

Prowl nods

“Sound-positive-positive-hearing.”

Jazz chuckles

“A whole two positives eh? Okay then. Uh. You don't look like you listen to jazz....so..”

“Me. Name. Sound-positive-positive-listening.”

Prowl raises his eyebrows. (Jazz is jealous, he wishes he had eyebrows too.)

“You're a musician?"

Jazz quickly shakes his head while simultaneously muting the outside speakers to a barely audible level and turning on one of the songs on his playlist.

Prowl twitches in surprise when he hears the melody.

Jazz waits for the intro to finish playing and then points to himself

“Creation-negative..uh..Sound-positive-positive-hearing. Jazz. This...”

He pats himself lightly on the chest.

"..is me. Jazz."

Prowl straightens up slightly

“Oh, you're not a musician, you're the music.”

Jazz nods cheerfully

“Yes yes!”

“Jaaz?”

“No no. Jazz.”

“Ah. Jazz?”

“That's right.”

Prowl draws a portal on the screen.

“You teleported here. What happened?”

Jazz hangs back, trying to construct an answer in his head. Good thing Prowl seems to have infinite patience

“So, I uh. What was 'fight'? Movement-pain-positive? I fought these things...”

He takes the tablet from Prowl and draws a crooked blot with a bunch of tentacles on it. Then thinks for a bit and adds big teeth and a lot of eyes. He's not really sure how to draw those eyes properly, so he just scatters them randomly around the monster area.

Prowl doesn't seem to be that amused by Jazz's drawings anymore, in fact, he suddenly becomes very somber.

“Quintessons.”

He pokes at the monster

“Name-Quintessons. Number-question.”

How many?

Jazz scratches the back of his head

“So uh...a lot?....number-positive-positive-positive-positive-positi...you get the idea.”

To be convincing, he dramatically spreads his arms out to the sides depicting something very large.

Prowl looks alarmed.

And unconvinced.

“How did you survive?”

Jazz laughs pretentiously

“Ask them how they survived.”

Prowl makes the “you can't be serious” face. Jazz isn't quite sure what exactly is confusing him. Mechs are designed to kill Quintessons, aren't they? Judging by his movements, this pilot must be damn good at controlling his mech, and that kind of guys usually fight on the front lines.

He decides to put that thought aside for later. There are more important things right now, like...oh shit, where is he even going??

Jazz leans over the chart again

“Uh. Right. Question-we-move-up-place” Man, how to specify... “Knowledge-negative?”

Prowl, linguistic gods bless him, understands him and starts gesturing over the chart in response

Okay. Ah. I-move-up. Planet-creation-positive.

'I'm heading home' or 'my home planet'.”

Jazz instantly perks up.

“Oh that's great, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to go there too.”

Prowl is speaking in a language he's unfamiliar with, so he's definitely from another country, but hey, who cares as long as it's on Earth, right? He just needs to get there and he'll find his own way from there.

He watches the space debris flicker by outside the window. Even the stars are unfamiliar, Jazz can't find any constellations he knows.

One of the little purple creatures says something and Prowl steps aside to chat with them. Jazz leans back and settles into a more or less stable position. Then does the same thing, but with his real, human body. Hell, his head still feels really fucking weird after that teleportation.

He opens the comm channel and just listens to the static for a couple minutes in the faint hope that the engineering department will find a way to contact him.

Nothing.

He sighs.

“1061 on the com. In case there's any way you can hear me...ah shit. You guys won't believe what happened...”

[the-kr8tor]

Hiiii 🤭

Hopping here to request a Reader x Ekko where they're just two love birds and R sneaks into his "office" because she just missed him :( and then one thing leads to another and they're kinda carried away by each other.. that until duty calls up and R watches Ekko switching from loving future husband to the Leader of the Firelights

Love you!!!

Hihihi thank you sm bleaky for the idea!!! Another fic straight from our dms 🤭 I hope you like it, pookie ❤️

Pairing: Ekko x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.9k

Tags: use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader, reader is a childhood friend turned lover, Firelight! Reader, lovestruck! Ekko, no s2 spoiler, cw suggestive, FLUFF!

Navigation

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The hoverboard whirrs softly from under you, with the moonlight peeking through the leaves of the beloved tree, bathing you in its dappled silver glow. The breeze carries ashen smoke amidst the scent of sweet dew filled flowers.

You lean forward slightly, guiding the board gently towards the open window of the tree house where a certain someone is burning the midnight oil on his workbench. You perch yourself over the window, careful not to make any noise as you slither your way inside. Hopefully staying as a surprise for Ekko.

He felt you before he heard your grunt and the unmistakable sound of your head bumping on the windowsill. Smiling tiredly, he twists in his chair to look at you fondly while you cradle your poor head from the recent bump.

“You know I gave you a key for a reason.” You can practically hear his amusement from his tone.

“Where's the fun in that?” You chuckle, palm patting at the blooming headache. “I thought I'd surprise you.”

Ekko roams his eyes over you as your smirk grows wider with every second he ogles you. “I think you forgot the surprise.” He points at your empty hands, tilting his head to the side in case you've got something hidden behind you.

“Ekko, I'm the surprise.” You wink at him, arms raised to your sides in a ‘here I am’ gesture. He shakes his head with a smile, watching you as you saunter towards him. “You should be asleep.” Your hand finds its place on his cheek, he looks up at you, eyes soft under the warm light of the desk lamp. He leans against your touch, lamenting at the way you gently scratch at his nape. “You can do this once you get some rest. Your board will still be here tomorrow.”

He swears he can fall asleep with your tender touch and voice lulling him to slumber. “I can't,” he sighs, reluctantly pulling away from you to return his attention towards his board that glows softly with green light. “we have something planned early tomorrow.”

Your heart softens for him and his determination. “Am I part of that something something?” Sitting down on his desk, far enough to give him space to work but close enough for you to poke his leg with your foot.

“Not this time,” he glances at you, finding you huffing in place as he screws in the blades tightly. “You still got that shoulder thing.”

“This shoulder thing is alright now.” He raises a brow at you, head shaking lightly. You sigh, surrendering. “Fine, it's acting up again, but it's technically better.” Ekko hums in reply, elbow deep inside the hoverboard. “Kind of. Can I at least help? I don't like feeling useless.”

His hand cups your knee, thumbs tracing swirls on your skin. You can feel how warm his hand is from under his glove. “Just sit there and look pretty for me, okay?” Smirking, he pats you once before returning his hand back to his work as you pout and huff at him. “And you're never useless. You're still healing, trouble. I don't want you getting hurt out there because of a busted shoulder.” A flash of you falling off your board with a sickening crunch fills his vision with dread. He turns towards you fully, tapping his wrench on the wooden table, and gentle eyes softening up at your features. “You'll have your time, I promise.”

You nod, watching as the green hue flickers over his concerned face. “Okay, but you owe me.” You cross your leg over the other while he smiles and turns towards his machine again.

“How many IOUs is that now?” He asks, glancing between you and the board.

You nudge him with your foot, “too many, Ekko.” You say his name with a sing-song lilt, effectively taking his attention. “What?” With a teasing smile, he stares at you wordlessly.

“You're distracting me.” His eyes follows the curve of your jaw up to your lips. Heart stuck in his throat, and eyes glued onto the soft skin. He lays his tools down. Abandoning it immediately.

“Oh,” your shoulders slump slightly. “I'll leave, just get some sleep, okay?” Hopping down, Ekko stops you with his hand on your thigh. “You need something?” You place your hand above his own as he squeezes you.

“Yeah, sit back down for me?” He says it seriously, as if he needs to talk to you about something important.

You straighten up, following his instructions. The desk creaks under your form, and as you wait for his very important words, he stands up from his seat, kicking it away before cradling your face gently in his gloved hands. The rough fabric sits on your cheek, but his touch is softer as he gazes at you with those eyes you've always loved ever since you two were still running around playing pretend.

“Now you're the one distracting me.” You whisper, index looping around his overalls to pull him towards you. Placing him in between your legs, as he leans forward with his head tilted slightly to find the perfect angle of your lips. “What were you saying, Ekko?” Teasing, he inhales deeply, lips merely an inch from your own.

“Let me…?” He says before you crash your lips against his own, answering his cut off question. Your eyes close as he smiles, mirroring your expression. You both kiss in sync, hearts beating in the same pace.

You hear him chuckle softly as your lips fall into a medley of rhythm with his desperate kisses. The kiss runs deep and long, teeth clashing, noses meeting, and hands caressing every angle of you as your own hands roam up his bare and lean arms, until you find penchant on the back of his head. Fingers weaved around his hair, not pulling away, no, pushing him further against you as the air grows hotter around you with every breath you take.

You're home in his arms. And all you can think about is him.

“Fuck,” he murmurs against your slightly agaped lips, leaning away for a moment to take in air and to remove his gloves to feel you fully.

You stare at him through half lidded eyes, cheeks searing hot and stomach throbbing with ache. “Yeah...” Your voice is shaky at best, legs wrapping around him whilst your chest heaves.

Just as you say it, he meets with your lips once again, taking your breath away as you give it willingly. This time it's softer and gentler as he kisses you tenderly. Your head hits the wall with how much he's kissing you, so with his palm sliding behind your head, he cushions you from the blow as he continues to kiss you fervently as if he hasn't gotten a taste of you in years.

“Ekko.” You sigh out as he kisses the curve of your lips, tracing its shape with his own. “Ekko.” Your tone grows breathlessly as he slowly makes his way towards your throat. “Ekko—” His lips were just about meeting with your warm skin when a knock interrupts you both. “Shit.”

“Damn it.” He murmurs, chest heaving, pupils blown out as he gives you one quick kiss against the side of your neck. Definitely not the final one.

You pat his cheek with a lopsided smile, thumb brushing along his kiss bitten lips, wiping away the sheen you've left. Ekko pecks your thumb before moving away from you. He fixes your rumpled shirt, just as you notice that you've smudged the white hourglass paint on his face. Whoops.

“Ekko, you've got…” you gesture towards his nose, trying to tamp down your laughter.

His blown out eyes widens, lungs still trying to intake oxygen from the strenuous activity. His nose scrunches up when he sees you having the same smudged paint on your face. Smile tamped down by biting his lip.

He looks behind you, where a small mirror is hanging just beside your head. He sees himself looking disheveled, hair sticking all over the place, face paint smudged into an odd shape.

Chuckling, the knocking grows louder. “I've got you, don't worry. I won't let your reputation get tarnished.” You take a handkerchief from your pocket, effectively wiping away the smudged mess on his face as much as you can.

“Did you get it?” He's still breathless when he asked.

“And…there. I've got them all.” You get a thankful peck on your cheek for a job well done.

But before he could move away from you, he takes the handkerchief in his hand to wipe at your (his) own smudged face paint. He tucks the fabric away in his pocket, maybe you'll come looking for it one day, effectively giving you an excuse to come visit him sooner rather than later.

Ekko now moves away, clearing his throat but the evidence of your shared previous activity is still evident on how much he inhales and how his hands are so clammy that he can water the tree with the sweat on his palms.

“C–come in.” He curses under his breath at how his voice cracked at the start. The door squeaks open, revealing his right hand man, Scar, waiting at the doorway.

His golden eyes glance at you, Ekko hides your equally disheveled form with his body, blocking your obviously kissed lips and your rumpled clothes. Scar raises a knowing brow, eyes speaking a thousand words.

“Hi, Y/N.” He says gruffly, lips subtly curled into a smirk. You wave shyly above Ekko, afraid that you'd let out incoherent words while you're still reeling from his warmth. “I can come back later.”

Ekko’s seriously considering it. “Is it important?”

“Everything's important with you Ekko.” Scar's eyes turn towards you with the word ‘important.’

Ekko sighs, slightly disappointed. “Right, what happened?”

His whole demeanor changes into what most people would think when they hear about the notorious leader of the firelights. His posture straightens up, and the air around him oozes authority. The man in front of you isn't just Ekko, your love and confidant, he's Ekko, the feared leader of the firelights, and the boy saviour. But you can still see his previous sweetness from how his eyes still smile when he remembers your soft lips upon his own. He's still your Ekko through and through.

“It's the chem barons, they blew out an entire building.” Scar briefs him, and you read the room as their conversation grows more serious.

If you listen to any more, you'd want to join in so you decide to leave before you could give your two cents like always. Ekko was right, your shoulder wouldn't help much with a full blown fight. So you're just gonna stay away, for now at least, until you're fully healed to be of help. For his sanity and your wellbeing.

You take a deep breath, still heaving from his kisses, hopping down from the table even with your wobbly legs. Ekko looks at you in the middle of the conversation, hand reaching out in case you fall down. Scar watches with amusement at the scene in front of him.

“I'm good,” you say quietly only for Ekko to hear. “We'll continue this later, okay?” You say louder this time for both of them to hear. With a wink, and a hand grazing his back, you leave him standing there, aghast at what you've blatantly said.

His own mind betrays him at how *later could go. Ekko has to hold onto the chair next to him to stabilize himself lest he melts in front of Scar, who's absolutely trying to reel his laughter in that he's about to pop a vein on his forehead from how hard he's trying.

As you close the door behind you, you hear his booming laughter and Ekko's unmistakable groaning behind the door.

Support banner by @/cafekitsune

[karaeilishh]

could u do college student reader coming home frm uni with her uniform on and billie finding her hot for some reason and fucks her in it?

thank u i love ur works!!!😊🎀

here, baby 🎀

or nah

warnings: smut, oral, strap, degradation, a little possessiveness

w/c: 1k

"gosh, finally," you sigh heavily as you finally see the front door of your house. your house with billie. you smiled, knowing that she was waiting for you. the best part after a hard day at college was when you walked into the house and saw her smile, her arms wrapped tightly around your waist as she kissed you softly. and all the problems in the world didn't matter when you had this.

"babe, i'm home!" you call out, your voice a little tired after a few classes. a few seconds later, you hear her running through the house, meeting you with a loving look that quickly turns into something else. you swear you felt something snap inside her. billie looks at you with hungry eyes, catching on your skirt, your shirt, your tie. you were given a new uniform and she saw you in it for the first time.

"i missed you, angel. very much" she slowly approaches you, not taking her eyes off your body. her hands fall on your waist, squeezing lightly. you notice a playful light in her eyes and it makes you giggle. 

"i missed you too, sweetie. how was your day?" you kiss the corner of her lips softly, noticing how she tenses. her grip on your waist tightens. she smirks and takes your wrist, guiding your hand to her shorts so you can feel what's underneath. 

"billie..." you open your mouth, not expecting her to be so frank in front of you now. she smirks, seeing your reaction. she was amused by your darting eyes and flushed cheeks when she did something like that.  she pushes your college jacket off your shoulders, making you feel naked just under her gaze. "i thought i could control myself but you look so fucking hot in that uniform... i don't like you going out in public like that"

you swallow hard as her hands slowly unbutton the first buttons of your shirt to reveal your white lace bra. "why is your shirt so tight? you look like a fucking slut, starving for attention" billie runs her warm tongue down your neck, your collarbones, between your breasts, making you gasp.

"it's just... just..." you can barely stand up and trying to speak is torture for you. billie chuckles and bites the skin under your collarbone. "it's just... just... so pathetic, baby" she mimics you, making your pussy literally cry. you whine, lighting a fire in her chest.

"i'm gonna devour you" billie scoops you up in her arms, carrying you to the bed in seconds. the ease with which she does it makes your thighs clench. you swear tears welled up in your eyes as she kneels down in front of you. "open"

you immediately obeyed, spreading your weak legs, showing billie the wet spot that had formed on your panties. "slut" she rips the lace off of you, not wasting a second to bury her face between your legs. she runs her tongue along your folds, collecting your arousal.

"fuck, billie..." you arch your back and grab her hair to hold her closer to you. she moves her hand up your body to play with your tits and flicks her tongue against your clit, literally devouring you. "look me in the eyes" she growls, lifting her blue eyes to you.

do you like the way i flick my tongue or nah?

you try your best not to look away from her eyes. she looked like eating your pussy was the only thing in her life, like she could never get enough of you. you move your hips, literally riding her face. and billie likes it more than you do.

you can ride my face until you're drippin' cum.

sometimes she gets wild around you, hungry for your pussy in her mouth. and she won't care if her tongue goes numb or she chokes. she wants to make you cum. she needs to make you cum on her tongue.

"i'm close, billie...please..." tears of pleasure roll down your cheeks as she continues to look at you like that. wildly. she pushes her tongue into you and you come apart on her tongue with a dirty moan, your cum dripping down her chin. "sweet girl."

billie giggles and wipes her face with the back of her hand. she towers over your body, making you swallow hard. her shorts and boxers hang around her ankles as she pushes her strap towards your mouth. "get it ready for you, baby."

can you lick the tip then throat the dick or nah?

you lick your lips and slowly take the tip of her cock into your mouth, making her gasp. your girlfriend had a soft spot for you sucking her fucking cock. "you look so beautiful when your mouth is busy, doll."

her hand flies to your hair, applying gentle pressure to your head. she was gentle until the tip of her strap hit the back of your throat. billie growled in satisfaction, holding your head in place and moving her hips on her own. "that's it, you take my cock so good, baby."

she fucked your face so roughly, like she could feel every movement of your tongue on her cock.

"good girl." she pulled it out softly, wiping away the tears from your face. the entire length of her strap was coated in your saliva, your pussy was so fucking wet, and billie just pushed into your pussy not letting you get used to it.

"billie!" you arch your back and cry out as all 8 inches were inside you. she didn't even bother to take your clothes off, just lifting your skirt up to your waist as she pounded into you at an animalistic pace. "shut up and take it, slut"

you can let me stretch that pussy or nah?

[greengoblinswifey]

we desperately need more sub!nicholas please like not even inexperienced just maybe you punishing him (sexually) for staying out late or flirting with another girl in front of you 😁

summary— you punish nicholas for coming home late in the best way possible.

warnings— pure smut, sub!nicholas, bondage, hand job, degradation, praise kink, edging, overstimulation, face sitting, gagging, use of sex toys, protected sex.

a/n— i love dom!nicholas but sub!nicholas awakens something in me🤭

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿

It had started earlier in the day, when he mentioned he had an interview scheduled with his female co-star for GQ. Of course, you’d played it cool, brushing off that familiar pang of irritation you always felt when he worked closely with women in the industry. It wasn’t jealousy, not exactly, you trusted him. Nicholas had never given you a reason not to. He was as sweet as they came, always coming home to you with stories of his day, his eyes lighting up like a kid showing off a drawing they made. He adored you, and you knew that.

But you also knew how these things could go. The media was relentless, pairing him with every beautiful actress he worked with, spinning stories of secret romances and undeniable chemistry. You’d roll your eyes when you saw the headlines, but deep down, it always left a bitter taste. You hated how they tried to chip away at the image of your Nicholas, the loyal, goofy, golden boy who brought you coffee in bed and left love notes on the bathroom mirror.

Still, you’d let it go this morning. It was part of the job, you reminded yourself. Nicholas had kissed you on the forehead before he left, promising he’d be back by evening. “I’ll order you take out and we can watch a movie,” grinning like the whole world started and ended with you.

But evening came and went, and your sweet Nicholas was nowhere to be found.

At first, you’d been concerned. This wasn’t like him, he always checked in, even if he was running late. But as the hours ticked by with no texts or calls, concern gave way to frustration. You checked your phone repeatedly, half-expecting it to buzz with an explanation, but it remained silent.

By the time the clock struck midnight, your patience had worn thin. He’d better have a damn good excuse, you thought, sitting on the bed in nothing but your lingerie. You weren’t usually one to go full dominatrix, to an extent, yes, but tonight? Oh, tonight Nicholas was going to learn that you weren’t someone to take lightly.

Nicholas knew he was in trouble the moment he stepped into the house. The stillness in the air was off, almost as if it had been waiting for him to walk through the door. He dropped his bag near the entrance and hesitated before heading toward the bedroom, his heart hammering. He already knew you’d be upset—of course, you would. He’d said he’d be home hours ago, and not even a text had been sent to you. That wasn’t like him, and he knew better than to leave you hanging.

As he pushed the bedroom door open, his breath caught in his throat. There you were, sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but a black lace set of lingerie that hugged every curve of your body. The soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated your skin, and his eyes darted to the items laid beside you—a roll of tape and a pair of handcuffs. Nicholas swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing visibly as he realized just how much trouble he was in.

“You’re late,” you said, your voice dripping with controlled irritation.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and then at you. “Uh, it’s—“

You cut him off sharply. “I didn’t ask what time it was. What time you were supposed to be home?”

“Seven,” he mumbled, his voice sheepish. He looked like a boy caught sneaking out past curfew.

“And what time is it now?” you asked, tilting your head as if daring him to lie.

“M- midnight,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. He already knew where this was headed.

“And why the fuck,” you began, your tone firm and unyielding, "are you just now walking through the door?"

He stuttered, fumbling for an explanation. “I—I lost track of time. There was an after-party, and, uh”

“I don’t give a fuck about your after-party,” you snapped, rising from the bed. Your presence was commanding, and Nicholas froze as you walked toward him. “You think you can just waltz in here hours late without a text or a call and everything will be fine? Do you know how worried I was? And did you forget my rules?”

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, his words tumbling out in desperation. “I really didn’t mean to—“

“Save it,” you interrupted, holding up a hand. “You don’t get to apologize and think that fixes it. You’re getting punished tonight.”

Nicholas’ eyes widened, flicking nervously to the handcuffs on the bed. He wasn’t sure whether to feel excited or terrified—or maybe both. “Punished?” he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

“Yes,” you said simply, stepping closer until you were inches away from him. “You need to learn to respect my time. Do you understand me?”

He nodded quickly, his golden retriever-like obedience shining through even now. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good,” you said, your lips curving into a wicked smile. You reached for the tape and handcuffs, holding them up for emphasis. “Now, be a good boy and do exactly as I say.”

Nicholas’ breath hitched, and he gave a slight, nervous chuckle. “You’re really mad, huh?”

You raised an eyebrow, unamused. “Do I look like I’m joking?”

He immediately shook his head. “No ma’am. No, you don’t.”

“Then shut up and get on the bed,” you commanded, your voice firm but teasing. He obeyed without hesitation, stripping himself of his clothes, knowing full well he’d walked right into this.

“Whatever you say,” he murmured, his voice low. “I’m all yours.”

And tonight, you intended to make sure he remembered that.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes flicking nervously between the handcuffs in your hand and your face, which held an expression he couldn’t quite read. You didn’t give him much time to think about it, though, you pushed him back, flat against the mattress, and before he could say a word, his wrists were locked in place, cuffed to the headboard.

He tugged at the restraints instinctively, testing their strength, but it was no use. His hands were pinned, leaving him completely at your mercy. His breathing was shallow, his chest rising and falling as he looked up at you, his eyes momentarily replaced with something more vulnerable.

“You look scared, Nicholas,” you teased, leaning down just enough to let your hair brush against his flushed face. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little punishment.”

“I— I’m not,” he stammered, though the way his Adam's apple bobbed suggested otherwise.

“Good,” you said, straightening up. “Because the least you can do is make me feel good after keeping me waiting all night. And don’t even think about touching me. You’ve lost that privilege.”

He swallowed hard, his jaw tightening as he nodded. “Of course. Anything for you.”

You climbed onto the bed, your knees straddling his chest as you moved up, slowly and deliberately. His eyes tracked your every movement, dark with anticipation. By the time you hovered over him, his breaths were coming out in short, uneven bursts.

“Don’t disappoint me, Nicholas,” you said, gripping the headboard for balance as you lowered yourself onto his mouth. His reaction was immediate, a muffled groan that sent a shiver up your spine as his tongue began to work.

He didn’t hesitate, his mouth moving against you like a man starved. The way he devoured you was almost frantic, his tongue lapping and flicking as though he were trying to prove himself worthy of redemption.

“That’s it,” you murmured, your voice low and commanding. “You’d better make me cum, or you’re really not going to like what happens next.”

He whimpered in response, a muffled sound that only spurred you on. His efforts grew more fervent, his tongue moving in rhythm as you tightened your grip on the headboard, your knuckles turning white.

“Is that all you’ve got?” you taunted, your voice sharp. “You’re supposed to be my good boy, but you’re making me wait to cum.”

His muffled protests only made you smirk, and for a moment, you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Finally, the pressure built to a breaking point, and your orgasm overtook you, leaving you breathless as your body trembled. Nicholas slowed down but didn’t stop, his tongue gentle now, coaxing every last ounce of satisfaction from you.

When you finally pulled away, his face was flushed, his lips parted and glistening as he looked up at you. “Was I—was I your good boy?” he asked, his voice hoarse, almost pleading.

You laughed, a short, sharp sound that made him flinch. “You think one good deed is enough to make up for tonight?”

He blinked up at you, unsure whether to answer.

“Nice try,” you said, leaning down to press a finger to his lips.

You moved down his body slowly, watching as his chest rose and fell, his breaths coming in short, uneven gasps. His arousal was painfully obvious, cock hard, standing at attention, twitching with need. It almost looked unbearable, and the sight made you smirk.

Your fingers grazed the tip, soft and teasing, and he flinched, his whole body tensing as he let out a shaky exhale. His hands strained against the handcuffs, the metal clinking against the bedpost.

“Please,” he whispered, his voice tight, almost breaking. “Please, just—just put it in your mouth.”

You laughed, a low, mocking sound that made his face flush deeper. “Put it in my mouth?” you repeated, tilting your head as though the suggestion was absurd. “You don’t get to demand anything, Nicholas. Have you forgotten where you are right now?”

“I’m not—I wasn’t demanding,” he stammered, his words stumbling over each other in his desperation.

“You’re talking too much,” you said, reaching for the roll of tape on the bed. His eyes widened as he realized your intention, but he didn’t dare protest. The second you placed the tape over his mouth, his muffled whimper made your smile widen. “That’s better.”

You let your fingers trail back down, brushing over his dick with deliberate slowness. His hips jerked involuntarily, a muffled groan escaping through the tape. You wrapped your hand around him, squeezing just enough to make him shiver, and started moving—slow, teasing strokes that barely gave him relief.

It didn’t take long for him to unravel. His breathing hitched, his head pressed back into the mattress as he squeezed his eyes shut. His thighs trembled under your touch, and his muffled sounds became more frantic as you worked your hand on his thick cock.

“You’re so easy to break, aren’t you?” you said, your tone dripping with amusement as you let your thumb brush over the sensitive tip. He twitched under your touch, leaking and red, his body betraying just how badly he needed release.

Nicholas whimpered, his hands thrashing against the restraints, his whole body straining. His muffled noises were growing louder, more desperate, and you could tell he was close. His legs were trembling, his hips lifting slightly as though chasing your hand, and then, you stopped.

His muffled groan was almost a scream as his hips fell back against the bed. His protests were incoherent, his head turning to look at you with wide, pleading eyes. His face was flushed, a deep red spreading across his cheeks and down his neck, and he looked so utterly wrecked that you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh, poor baby,” you teased, sitting back on your heels as he writhed beneath you. “Did you really think I’d let you off that easy?”

He groaned again, his frustration clear even through the tape, and you leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear. “Don’t worry,” you murmured. “We’ve got all night.”

Leaning over to the side table, you retrieved a small vibrator, holding it up for him to see. His eyes widened, and he shook his head slightly, his muffled protests intensifying. You chuckled, running your fingers lightly over the toy, switching it on so it buzzed softly in your hand.

“Oh, don’t act so scared, baby,” you teased, trailing the buzzing tip along his inner thigh. His body jolted at the sensation, a strangled whimper escaping him. “You wanted this. Didn’t you just beg me to make you feel good?”

He shook his head furiously, his muffled words barely audible, and you laughed at his pitiful attempt to escape. “No? Then what’s this?” You let the vibrator skim over his shaft, just for a second, and he groaned loudly, his hips bucking toward the sensation before you pulled it away.

“Look at you,” you said, your voice soft but taunting. “So needy. So desperate. I haven’t even touched you properly, and you’re already falling apart.”

Nicholas’ legs shook as you teased him, running the vibrator up and down his shaft in the lightest, most maddening touches. His head thrashed against the pillow, muffled groans and high-pitched whimpers spilling out of him. His whole body trembled, his hips involuntarily jerking toward you, but you didn’t give him what he wanted.

“Stay still,” you ordered sharply, and he froze, his body tense as though trying to obey. You rewarded him by pressing the vibrator against the sensitive tip, holding it there for just a moment. His muffled cry was loud, his back arching as his hands clenched into fists above his head.

“You’re such a mess,” you murmured, dragging the toy down to the base and back up again, keeping the pressure light. “So greedy for it. You’d do anything to cum right now, wouldn’t you?”

He nodded desperately, his eyes locking onto yours as if begging for mercy. But you weren’t done. Switching the vibrator to a higher setting, you pressed it against him again, keeping your hand steady as he thrashed beneath you.

“Ah, ah,” you cooed, placing a hand on his stomach to hold him down. “No running from me, baby. You wanted this, remember?”

Nicholas’ muffled cries grew louder, his hips grinding helplessly against the toy as you worked him over. His entire body was trembling, his legs shaking violently as he edged closer and closer to release.

And then, just as his body tensed and his muffled whimpers turned to desperate pleas, you pulled the toy away.

The sound he made was almost heartbreaking, a loud, frustrated cry muffled by the tape. His head turned toward you, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, his expression pure desperation.

“Poor thing,” you said mockingly, trailing your fingers down his thigh as he quivered under your touch. “Did you really think I’d let you finish? You haven’t earned it yet.”

Nicholas let out another muffled groan, his body writhing against the bed as he tugged weakly at the restraints. His voice cracked as he tried to plead, his eyes filled with a mix of frustration and desperation.

“You’re going to take whatever I give you,” you whispered, leaning down to kiss the corner of his jaw. “And you’re going to thank me for it when I’m done.”

Switching the vibrator back on, you pressed it to him again, starting the cycle all over. This time, you added your free hand to the mix, stroking him lightly, alternating between teasing and stopping entirely. His muffled cries turned into broken whimpers, his body trembling violently as you pushed him to the edge again and again, only to deny him every single time.

“You’re so pretty like this,” you murmured, watching as his face flushed a deep red. “Completely at my mercy. Just the way I like you.”

By the time you finally stopped, he was a wreck. His chest heaved, his body glistening with sweat, his eyes glassy and unfocused. You smirked, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the tape over his mouth.

Reaching over to the nightstand again, you retrieved another toy, a sleek, silver vibrating wand. His eyes widened at the sight and you switched it on, the low buzz filling the room as you trailed it slowly down his chest, letting it rest against his hip bone before dragging it even lower.

“Look at you,” you teased, holding the wand just above where he wanted it most, his cock. “You’re shaking like a leaf. Is this what you want, baby? Is this what you need?”

He nodded frantically, his hips jerking up in an attempt to get some friction, but you quickly pressed him back down with your hand. “No, stop,” you scolded, a grin spreading across your face. “I’m in control here.”

You moved the wand closer, letting the vibrations graze the sensitive base of his cock. He let out a muffled cry, his head tipping back against the pillow as his entire body tensed. His hips bucked again, but you kept your hand firm on his stomach, holding him in place as he writhed beneath you.

“You’re so desperate. You wish I’d let you cum, right?”

He nodded again, his eyes glossy with tears as he met your gaze. His muffled pleas were incoherent, but you could feel the desperation radiating from him. You chuckled, dragging the wand back and forth in agonizingly slow motions, keeping him on the edge without letting him cum.

“Poor baby,” you cooed, pressing the wand harder against him for just a moment. His muffled moan was loud, his body arching off the bed as he was on edge. But before he could finish, you pulled it away entirely, laughing softly as he let out a frustrated cry.

“Not yet,” you said sweetly, brushing a strand of hair from his damp forehead.

Tears slipped down his flushed cheeks, his hands pulling uselessly against the cuffs as he begged through the tape. You tilted your head, pretending to consider before reaching for a condom from the nightstand.

“Don’t look so hopeful,” you teased, tearing the foil open. “You’re not getting everything you want. You don’t deserve that.”

His eyes widened as you rolled the condom down over him, and you grinned at his pitiful expression. Usually, you didn’t bother with condoms, letting him feel all of you, but tonight was about punishment.

You climbed onto him, straddling his hips, and his muffled whimper sent a thrill through you. Slowly, you sank down onto him, taking his hard and leaking cock inch by inch. His eyes fluttered shut, his head tipping back as a deep moan rumbled in his chest.

“Eyes on me,” you ordered sharply, and his gaze snapped back to yours, wide and desperate. “I want you to watch. Watch what you can’t touch.”

You set a brutal pace, riding him hard and fast, your hands gripping his chest for balance. His muffled cries grew louder, his body trembling beneath you as he struggled to keep up. You leaned down, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered, “Don’t you fucking dare cum.”

He whimpered, his eyes glistening as he nodded quickly, his entire body shaking with the effort to hold himself back. “Good boy,” you said mockingly, sitting back up and continuing your relentless movements. “I bet you wish you could feel my pussy raw. Don’t you, baby? I bet you wish you could touch me, squeeze me, hold me.”

Nicholas nodded frantically, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes as his muffled sobs filled the room. “Pathetic,” you muttered, your nails digging into his chest as you rode him harder. “You’re so needy. So desperate. It’s almost cute.”

You felt your orgasm building, your movements growing erratic as you chased your own pleasure. When it finally hit, you cried out, your body shaking as you collapsed forward onto his chest. Nicholas let out a muffled sob beneath you, his head tipping back as he stared up at you with a mix of awe and desperation.

“You’re so beautiful,” you heard him mumble faintly through the tape, his voice trembling. You laughed softly, brushing his damp hair back as you caught your breath.

“That’s right,” you murmured, leaning down to kiss his jaw. “And you’re lucky I let you have any of me at all.”

Catching your breath, you turned around to face the opposite direction, giving Nicholas a perfect view of your ass. His muffled whimpers grew louder when you started bouncing on him again, the sound of your ass meeting him filling the room. His body was trembling beneath you, his hands pulling helplessly at the handcuffs, and you could hear the muffled desperation in his voice.

“You sound so pathetic,” you teased, glancing over your shoulder at him. “I bet you wish you could touch me right now. Squeeze my ass the way you love to and slap it. Isn’t that right?”

He nodded frantically, his eyes wide and filled with tears as you wiggled your hips, grinding down on him just enough to make him cry out behind the tape. “Please!” he begged, the sound muffled but unmistakable, and it only made you grin wider.

“Poor thing,” you mocked, riding him harder now, your nails digging into the bed as you steadied yourself. “You can’t even handle me, can you?”

His muffled groans turned into full-blown sobs as you felt the pressure building inside you. You arched your back, your own moans spilling from your lips as the intensity became too much to hold back. With a sharp cry, you came, your body shuddering violently as you squirted, the sensation leaving you breathless. Nicholas let out a muffled sob beneath you, his head tipping back against the pillow as his entire body trembled.

“You’ve been such a good little fuck toy for me,” you said, your voice still breathless as you turned to look at him. His cheeks were damp with tears, his eyes pleading as he stared up at you. “Do you think you’ve learned your lesson? Do you think you’ve earned it?”

He nodded rapidly, his muffled voice frantic as he tried to answer. Reaching back, you peeled the tape off his mouth, and he gasped for air before the words started spilling out in a rush. “Yes! Yes, please, I’ve learned my lesson! I’ll never be late again, I swear! Please, please, I need to—“

“Shhh,” you interrupted, running your hand over his chest to quiet him. "You’re talking too much again. Beg for it. Show me how much you want it.”

“Please,” he begged, his voice cracking as he looked up at you with desperation in his eyes. “Please, baby, I’m so sorry. I’ll never be late again. I’ll do anything—anything you want. Please let me cum. I need it so bad, please.”

You hummed, pretending to consider his words as you kept moving your hips, the pace slow and deliberate now. “Hmm. I guess you’ve been good enough," you said, leaning down just slightly. “You can cum now, baby.”

The moment the words left your mouth, his entire body tensed, and a strangled moan ripped from his throat as he finally let go. He practically exploded into the condom, his orgasm hitting him so hard that tears spilled from his eyes. His head tipped back, his mouth open as he whimpered loudly, his voice breaking as he cried out, “I’m your good boy! Yes, I’m your good boy! Always for you!”

You smiled, brushing your hand over his chest as you eased off of him. “That’s right,” you murmured, watching him tremble beneath you. Reaching down, you removed the condom, tying it off and tossing it into the trash. His chest was still heaving, his hair sticking to his damp forehead as he blinked up at you.

“Are you— are you gonna take the handcuffs off now?” he asked, his voice hoarse and trembling.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head as you stood and stretched. “Oh, I don’t think so,” you said, your tone light and teasing. "You’re staying just like that for a while.”

Before he could protest, you disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him cuffed, breathless, and utterly wrecked as he stared at the ceiling, the sound of your laugh echoing in his ears.

[thelien-art]

Ñolofinwë, Anairë & Grandchildren

Latest portraits

Children of Ñolofinwë - Fëanáro, Nerdanel & Telperinquar - Sons of Fëanáro

Now for Arafinwe and kids!!

HC:

Fingolfin: Fingolfin did look up to Feanor a lot when he was younger and would try to act like him, wearing white, red, and gold, as well as trying to become a smith one time, but later when it became clear for him Feanor had no real interest he began doing a mix of being the opposite of Feanor as well as just trying things he thought he would like before wondering if either Feanor or Finwe would approve. While I think his relationship with Finwe was great I still think it had its flaws, especially when Finwe decided to go with Feanor to exile after Fingolfin had been threatened BY Feanor, neither do I think he ever felt that close to the Vanya, as after all he was a Noldor prince, and while not the first in line, he wasn´t the last either. Of his siblings, he was closest to Lalwen and would take her counsel highest. I do think that upon his death he thought he did what was best, after all, all was hopeless, but maybe he could sacrifice himself for more peace for his people, and while doing that, maybe he could see Anairë again? I also think he took much pride in his grandchildren, although only being aware of one, and made a big deal out of being there for all his children, supporting them in whatever they wanted and helping them try different things, as long as they would never fight among themself.

Anairë: Anairë came from a noble family and knew Fingolfin in his youth before they decided to marry. After Finarfin married Eärwen, who Anairë became close friends with, she would happily take her children to visit their uncle and aunt, building expressly upon Turgon and Finrod´s friendship. While I think she took pride in being fully Noldo she did not support Feanor, thinking him rash in his speeches, and neither could she follow her people after the first kinslaying both because of the humiliation she felt upon seeing it as well as the grief, and later would move in with Finarfin and Eärwen, grieving for her lost children and husband.

Idril: As a half Vanya (5/8 Vanya??) she leans a lot into her mother´s traditions, both by covering up her hair as well as not braiding it, and while the Vanya doesn´t wear as much jewelry as the Noldor they do wear big pieces when they do, and Idril finds some kind of middle ground. I think she used to wear some gold, like her mother, before the crossing of the ice where she lost both her mother and legs (last part is a HC). While before she chose to only wear silver it was because she idolized Anairë and wanted to be like her, while after it was some kind of denial later becoming a fashion choice (?). - I do HC that the first year after Elenwë´s death Idril only wore her mother's jewelry to feel close to her, but after having to accept her mother was gone she would try to avoid anything that would remind her too much of her.

Maeglin: I know I talk about it at every chance, but I HC ËOL AS A MAIA AND I WILL NOT BE TOLD OTHERWISE, so I give Maeglin glowing eyes too for that reason. Turgon, when it gets pointed out to him, because his whole family and most of his Lords have glowing eyes, just shrugs it off and blames Melian for it. I like to think that while there wasn´t a lot of galvorn Maeglin still learned how to forge with it, he and Aredhel have jewelry made with it. He dyes his hair tips light purple as is costume to some of the Avari, to color it, as that he thinks Ëol is a Avari and he therefore is part. Yes, he has dark purple hair after Ëol but thinks that´s just something some people do have, after all some of the Sinda (Luthien&Daeron) have blue hair and Ëol purple, why can´t he have it too?? Nobody really notices as he dyes it anyway, and Aredhel is 99% sure Ëol is a Maia which is why Maeglin too has purple hair, but why would that matter, he is mama´s boy after all.

Gil-Galad: I am fully convinced Ereinion is just some guy - I HC Gil as an adopted child of Fingon, later adopted by Orodreth, and lastly Cirdan. Most of his jewelry is taken from Fingon and Orodreth, more or less without permission (light kleptomania), Orodreth would pretty much ignore it, whereas Fingon would find it funny and "accidentally" loose piece Ereinion would have shown in interest in, making a big deal out of looking for it before shrugging with a laugh declaring he didn´t care and whoever found it could keep it in front of Ereinion. Most of this is because of his upbringing, I HC him as a child of Angband, later becoming a bad habit, although he would only take things from people very close to him and give it back if asked. His vitiligo is also from Angband, as I HC those born close to Ainur suffer effects from it either physical or mental, which means that the biggest amount of elvers with born disadvantaged come from Angband, whereas the Ainur wouldn´t even try to lower the effect they have on elvers and humans, thereafter Valinor (but only certain places - where the Ainur "lives" which means that very few elvers actually live there, so it is very very few, although I do HC Edrahil of being affected by the Ainur in Valinor), and lastly Doriath.

[furiousgoldfish]

I've noticed the other day how life is fundamentally different when living out of abuse. I had an experience of waking up in the morning, sleepily tapping over to the kitchen in my pajamas, wondering what to make for breakfast, and making a plan for the day. Completely careless and unselfconscious, thinking only about the food and what I wanted to do with my day. It hit me then how impossible every aspect of this would be, had I still been living in the abuse.

If I was still around abusers, my first thought in the morning would not be 'oh I'm so sleepy I'm gonna find something to eat', it would be 'Are they in the house, are they in the room, are they already mad at me'. I would be looking around cautiously, listening for every sound that indicates they're near me. I would be checking the clock to see if their schedule had already put them in their workplace or wherever they go, and then still peering trough the doors anxiously to see if the hallway is clear, if I can get to the kitchen. I'd be checking how I look to see if I'll be reprimanded for being in the pajamas in the common area. I'd change just to avoid the possibility. I'd be checking each item of food and wondering if it's okay to take it, or whether there's a chance I'll get yelled at or blamed for taking it. I'd be analyzing the last words and actions we exchanged to try to predict how close the abuser is from blowing up and possibly attacking me.

The rest of my day would be scheduled around avoiding them, or alternatively, being in the place where they could easily find me, because if I'm not where I'm expected to be, they might get mad. All of my activities could be stopped and prevented at moment's notice if they decided I need to be doing something for them at that moment. I could be yelled at for not doing something for them sooner, for 'making them say it'.

If I wanted to go out, I'd have to consider if this is allowed, and if they'd want me to stay inside for one reason or another. If I am outside, I'd have to worry about what's going to happen to my stuff if I'm not back whenever they're expecting me to be there, or what kind of angry state I'd find them in. It would be safest to notify them of everything I'm doing, but they might immediately call it unnecessary, stupid, offensive or otherwise inconvenient, and force me to drop it and do something for them instead. Secrecy was the only way to do things, but also risky in case some part of it turns out to be not allowed. There were never any clear rules to what is okay, it would change with their moods.

If I could hear the abuser's car parking in the driveway, I would run back inside of my room, as if it was the 'safe area', when it wasn't. It would at least take me out of their view, so they wouldn't immediately think to start at me. But if they wanted to, they could just go inside of my room and charge at me then. I would just delay being the target, putting myself out of immediate sight. Of course this also meant I couldn't leave any trace of doing anything in the home, so it wouldn't be noticeable I just ran away. Everything has to look untouched.

And then when they interacted with me, I had to make sure to not show emotion on my face, to not look overly confident or happy, to not show any fear or anxiety, to not look sad or upset, to not look angry. I had to act normal, or else. I had to try and defend my own actions and interests walking a fine line of 'trying to let them know I'm upset and unhappy about this, without setting them off and causing them to blow up at me for talking back'. And I'd be told off for this too, because 'how could I complain when people have it soo much worse and I am ungrateful for having a roof over my head'. I had to do whatever was asked out of me, and restrain from even expressing it wasn't what I wanted, for the fear of losing the roof over my head.

Unbelievable I just lived like that for many years. And now I can flop in my pajamas to the kitchen, eyes half closed, make a mess, and think of nothing but food and plans for the day, not worrying for a second that someone could target me for any move I make. I still get scared easily, but nobody attacks me anymore. I can take any item of food, for it is all mine. I can decide to go out anytime, come back anytime, no consequences. I decide what is good for me to do, and nobody else gets an input. I can think of my own interests, and disgreard what anyone else in the world could want from me, because I don't exist for their convenience, and I don't have to worry about it anymore. What I lived before feels absolutely intolerable now. Even one second of that is unsurvivable.

[jeonscatalyst]

who do you think are jk and jm's comfort people in the group besides each other and why?

Hi anon,

This question is kinda tough but I’ll try my best to answer.

I think for Jimin, it’s Hobi and Yoongi but they do very different things for him. Hobi is Jimin’s Jimin. You know that person who dotes on him, encourages him, is soft with him and pretty much always there for him no matter where or what. I think them being roommates the longest out of all the other members helped out in them being so close.

As for Yoongi, I think he is the person Jimin goes to when he needs someone to talk to about the difficult parts of life. I think Yoongi is that objective voice of reason for Jimin who tells him what he needs to hear not what he wants to hear. Yoongi to Jimin is someone who encourages and pushes him to go beyond his limits so he is definitely someone I believe that Jimin knows that he needs. Yoongi also believes in Jimin very much and never fails to let him know that he believes in him.

Clearly, Yoongi and Hobi fulfil very different needs for Jimin and he relates to them in very different ways but I think they both are his comfort persons…..just in very different ways.

For Jungkook, it is harder to pick because he naturally isn’t someone who goes to others for comfort a lot by his own admission and based on what I’ve seen. The only person that Jungkook has ever admitted going to for comfort is Jimin and that is the only person we actually see him gravitating to when he needs comfort so I don’t know if he really has any other comfort person in the group but I know that he has others in the group whom he really enjoys spending time with.

He likes hanging out with Tae and doing fun things with him which obviously puts him in a good mood so in one way we can call that some kind of comfort but I just don’t ever see him trying to seek him out when he is in a funk like we have seen him seek Jimin out. I know that they talk too and share a lot of stuff with each other but I just don’t think they have those deep heart to hearts like maybe yoonmin do and not because they don’t want to but because both of them just don’t seem like the type to really know how to handle those kinds of discussions reason why it has always been clear that both of them sought Jimin out for comfort more than they sought each other out.

I think Jungkook naturally has a hard time opening up to people about his feelings and usually deals with them on his own which is why I think it is a huge deal that the only one he has ever admitted to actually seeking comfort from or needing comfort from is Jimin and this is probably thanks to Jimin’s personality. He has a personality where he allows you to be vulnerable with him. He makes you feel heard and validated and seems like no one feels judged when they confide in him. I don’t think there is a single BTS member who hasn’t at some point found the biggest comfort in Jimin.

This is what I think anon but anyone is more than welcome to contribute.

[thedouglastrap]

Something about this post is bugging me, but every time I to put my finger on it, I feel like the reason slips away. So I think I'll just try to sort through it here and see where that leads me.

Mechanical changes impacting play style makes sense, but I think I question the cause and effect here. Because the rules mentioned that "encouraged the GM to think of monsters as real living creatures", morale and reaction rolls, are things that seem (to me at least) less about making these monsters seem real and more about adding more angles to introduce randomness to random encounters. If a random aboleth shows up while you're walking from point A to point B, a reaction roll is a quick and dirty way to see how they view the players, but it doesn't account for what an aboleth is. Similarly, a morale roll is giving a method beyond the DM just making an arbitrary ruling sans dice. That's not to say that a good DM can't use the roll to breathe some life into an encounter, of course, but I don't know if I would say those rules being removed/put in the flavor rather than made a general rule was a primary contributor to a greater emphasis on combat, or if that was even an intentional design choice.

(as a side note: looking up what reaction rolls actually were were, I stumbled onto a blog about the whole OSR thing in ttrpgs, and decided to go down the rabbit hole for a bit. It seems like a lot of the conclusions being drawn in this post are close to issues raised over there, but they tend to include AD&D2e as a point where the shift happened, making it less a TSR/WotC difference)

Now, if there IS a greater focus on combat in that shift, I think it's probably due to the game getting crunchier over time during that shift. 2e seemed to start it off with a wide variety of optional rules, and 3.x cemented it. But notably, it did this for non-combat as well, which makes me think that it was less a design choice to make things more combat oriented and more to provide comprehensive rules, with combat being the most fleshed out part in service to the whole heroic adventure aesthetic.

I think one of the biggest issues I'm running into is the following point about how encounters have to be these justified forced combat encounters and the dissonance this can provide. I think part of that is because that conclusion just doesn't match up with the reality I was seeing playing 3.x or seeing other people talking about it. Not to say combat wasn't the focus, but plenty of non-combat encounters happened, enemies ran away, scenarios were derailed by roleplay rather than combat, etc. And sure, that's anecdotal, but I think it's relevant. The game does, after all, provide individual sections for monsters giving a basic rundown of what the creature is. Some are more bare-bones than other, but when Archons are listed as "never attacking first, but being easily provoked", that's a pretty clear indicator that forced combat should not be the default assumption. If players ignore that, sure, but that's no different than ignoring reaction rolls imo.

The real difference, I think, is the afforementioned shift from a focus on an open world where the party has more freedom to explore and do whatever they want while the world happens around them, to a focus on more structured narratives where the players are characters in a story that is unfolding around them. Its a shift away from "well the dice say there's an aggressive dragon swooping in, have fun with that" towards "I planned out the encounter you're gonna run into between startersville and plotlandia". That also kinda follows from the idea of encounter balance. Having a random dragon swoop in on a third level party isn't a balanced encounter unless the DM goes out of their way to make it one, but that takes more time and prep than rolling a few dice and opening to a statblock can account for. And yes, planned encounters like this can, if done poorly, just be a shooting gallery of forced fights with thin justifications. It could also be well crafted encounters where you could talk down the goblins instead of fighting by opening trade negotiations.

The play style that the difference in design encourages isn't so much "fight all the things vs treat your enemies like actual living things" as it is "how structured do you want this game to be", which is ultimately value-neutral. And the moral disconnect about what you're fighting seems like an entirely separate thing from that. Neither style inherently encourages or discourages that, and it feels uncharitable to say that WotC-era d&d is more skewed to be morally uncomplicated than TSR-era.

So there is a pretty clear shift in playstyle between TSR D&D and WotC D&D: for better and for worse, D&D 3e introduced the idea of encounter balance, de-emphasized mechanics that had previously encouraged the GM to think of the monsters as real living creatures (reaction rolls, morale, etc.), and it had the effect of making D&D a much more combat-focused game. D&D has always been a game that's opinionated about combat, it's basically the most expressive and detailed form of play regardless of edition, but combat in the TSR editions was not exactly zoomed in and tactical. The WotC editions purposefully made combat zoomed in, granular, and tactical.

And this has had an effect on playstyle: since combat is now the main form of player expression what players actually want is for their characters to get into combat. Because combat is the most fun part of the game. But the game has also changed from the largely amoral dungeon-crawling game into a game of fantasy heroics (even though a lot of the trappings of the amoral dungeon-crawling still remain, which contributes to the dissonance), so you can't just have the player characters going into combat for the sake of it. That would frame the player characters as kind of Fucked Up, and we can't have that in our supposedly heroic fantasy.

What you end up with is a variety of contrivances like "they're bandits," "they're cultists," or, my all-time favorite, "they attacked first" to make the action seem morally justifiable, even though gameplay is still motivated by a desire to fight. The monsters fight to the death and, importantly, can often not be reasoned and negotiated with, partly because combat is supposed to be the fun, engaging part everyone is here to do, but also because if they actually acted like reasonable people it could cause dissonance with the whole "the player characters are the goodest heroes."

As my friend @tenleaguesbeneath once called it: what is actually going on is that the player characters are hunting people and monsters who have been programmed to fight to the death and never negotiate for sport, while justifying it as self-defence.

It's a simple power fantasy, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Sometimes you want to play a morally uncomplicated game about killing guys with cool magic swords. But I think it's also fun to think about what the specific types of monsters players end up fighting reveals about Society the invisible, unexamined ideology lying under the surface that the designers of even modern D&D have failed to examine. And to me it often reads like a frontier justice fantasy. None of that is to detract from anyone's joy of the game, and for me it's just fun to think about and post about this stuff while Still Enjoying the Game, but if someone expressing that opinion makes you feel uncomfortable, why? That's pretty silly imo.

[carlos-in-glasses]

How are you dealing with Tarlos being over? I’m seriously not good. It helps that Ronen said they are best friends off screen but knowing that we will never see them together again is really making me sad.

Hello! Thank you for this question. Firstly, a huge internet hug for you because I really feel your pain 💔❤️❤️❤️❤️ and this is a topic we're all grappling with I'm sure. In terms of Tarlos as characters, I'm trying not to look at it as them being totally 'over' because they and the other characters can live on through art and fanfic, just like they did during the hiatuses between seasons. We didn't need 'new' canon content to keep creating. We just...kept creating. Although this was perhaps fuelled by looking forward to the show’s return, I don't see why that has to be all that different now. There are fandoms that revolve around single books, single movies, and thrive on a lot less content than we have to work with. 

However, I appreciate that you might not be a reader of fic, and indeed even if you are…..The show itself and the physical portrayal of these characters is certainly ending far too soon, and honestly I fucking hate that. I feel sad in my body. I'd go as far to say I'm actually bitter about it, and bitterness is a horrible, horrible feeling! I keep thinking – if we hadn't had a season 3, we'd have missed out on so many amazing moments on screen, culminating in the proposal. If we hadn't had a season 4, we'd have missed out on the soulmates scene and the wedding! No season 5, no seeing TK being flung onto a dresser, no dancing at the party, none of the Enzo/Jonah/Carlos' investigation stuff that I'm LOVING. Which leaves me with this strong ache as I wonder what we are missing out on with no season 6, 7, 8... 

So, the silver lining is that the fandom will make the best out of a shit situation creatively, but it is a shit situation in reality. I think it's absolutely fine for us to mourn this loss and be there for each other, because those of us who profoundly love this show and Tarlos are all in it together and understand the magnitude. I am certainly in a weird state of grief not related to death but related to this different kind of loss, and there will always be part of me hurting over this thing I love so much. I only found the show after season 3 and it just doesn't feel like I've had enough time with it. I haven’t had enough fun!

I hope we do get to see Ronen and Rafa reunite again from time to time. They’ll be at the Paris convention in December, and maybe others along the way if their schedules allow. I was lucky enough to go to the one in June last year and Ronen, Rafa, Natacha and Sierra certainly did appear to be very close irl, so definitely do take heart in that – it’s a reason to believe we’ll get at least glimpses of them together going forward.

So yeah. I’m finding good things where I can in all this, but the headline is that I really am sad and struggling too, and I’m so sorry you are and I hope you’re able to fill your day with things that help you to feel a bit better. I hope everyone who reads this is able to do the same.

[mypillowpaper]

🡻VENT

Hello, this is going to be a rather sad kind of message, the first time I have to talk about a client with such a bitter perspective for me.

Clients are always a reason to celebrate, with many I have developed super long conversations, others have seen me grow on social networks and I have seen them get married, have children or change their lives little by little just like me.

In my community I am always happy to have good experiences with my clients, because even the few times I have not agreed with something, everything has been able to be discussed and come to a good end.

I have been in contact with all kinds of personalities and moods, both my own and those of others, for a long time and I know how to work with that.

Today was not like that. Today I had to deal with something completely different

I had to talk to a person with whom I had accepted a commission 2 years ago, and the last contact or response I had was in March 2023 -1 year and 7 months-

As we are all strangers on the internet and life can sometimes be very fucked up, I clearly did not make any claim and celebrated they return.

Fortunately I saved they files, and I say this because many artists after a certain period of time close them, send them to avoid legal problems or exactly what just happened to me.

I never added such clauses because i have had 2 cases like that and nothing bad has happened (although never for so long)

But with today I think it was quite naive on my part, because this person began to ask me for changes on a work that had been left with the base coloring, and the lineart already finished.

I agreed to change simple things but I also warned that I was not going to accept more changes that had to do with the pose. Not only because of all the time it took (you can change your tastes, and if you liked something before, and now you don't) but it is unfair to me, to my time and my current pending work.

So I limited the changes to the color section, no different from when other clients ask me for changes once the lineart is finished and accepted.

The person first accepted, then deleted the message and asked me for a refund for the commission, since they was not satisfied with my service .

The truth is that I was quite broken down. Because I had never had or experienced those emotions linked to a client.For me it is something incompatible.

But clearly I am not going to do it, my TOS are clear with the no refunds and the situation is clearly cynical, I have plenty of reasons and explanations as to why, but i dont have the objective of humiliating anyone or generate hatred.

That's why I'm not giving names, I'm not giving pictures or anything. I just want to vent because I feel completely discouraged, because I didn't expect a right hook like that. And it's a bittersweet feeling, and finally I hit the wall after 7 years of work.

It's very easy to show up after almost 2 years and ask for a refund when the work is almost finished, and claim that you're not happy with the results.

But being nice doesn't mean I'm going to allow something like that.

So I'm going to rewrite my TOS to make the same clause as my colleagues, and I'm going to keep this low key and private.

My colleagues will know about name and screenshots, because it's important to be careful with these things. But for the rest, it's not fun for me to start any carnage.

I understand the misunderstanding, I can imagine what this person felt when I set a limit (most people don't like it, it's a bitter pill to swallow) but it's also necessary and it's true that during these 7 years, many people have responded well to it and have even given me excellent treatment or negotiated with me.

I have witnessed at least 200 responses much better than the one I had to read today, so I am able to know, perfectly, that nothing that happened was fair. And that it could have gone better if they hadn't demanded things that way, and in a situation where their actions were not supported.

I know this is different, but my head is now like a pressure cooker, and I needed to let it out, to let it go.

Thank you all, for having accustomed me to such nice treatment, that although today I felt naive, I also felt very lucky to have you to have a bar with which to measure correctly.

A huge hug, from your favorite Pillow.

[thatnonameuser]

For some time now I’ve gotten curious, how exactly do they figure out who’s a Yandere and who’s a Darling? Like how do they do that and how do they determine it. There’s also so many people that it could get hard to keep track on who’s who, Although they could use files. How do they do it? Also how do you distinguish a Yandere and a Darling? Like what are the traits?

Okay, so....... 😅

I kinda swept that one under the rug and said I would deal with that later, actually never, so I guess I have to handle that now. 

Similar to mental illness and neurodivergence, yandere and darling behavior is diagnosed based on a set of personality traits and behaviors that the testee has to see if they have traits strict to yanderes or darlings. Usually around age 5-10 or (50 to 100 for fae like Malleus) for half a year to get an understanding of their personality and behaviors.

Records are made and well documented in every country, so that every yandere, darling and neither is properly recorded. 

The tell tale signs of a yandere are -

Possessive behaviors to loved ones and possessions.

Control issues, specific to the people in their lives.

Trouble accepting death and separation. 

Willing to make great sacrifices to keep something important close to them. (breaking the law, killing someone, violating some moral code)

Jealous to things they can’t have, to the point they’re willing to steal it or hurt someone for it. 

Clingy behavior to one or multiple things in their lives, to the point they don’t ever want to part with it. 

Difficulty sharing people they care about with others. 

Following and studying objects of their affection to the point they sacrifice their other responsibilities. 

Stealing and keeping things to themselves so that no one else can have them. 

Manipulating others to not part with them.

And any other actions that describe possessive, obsessive or manipulative behavior.

For Darlings, it’s much less strict with the signs, because each darling is different. Feral, pure of heart, they’re all different. But there’s still a basis….

A darling can be diagnosed if….

They are able to share the things they like with others. 

They don’t believe in hurting others to keep the things they love to themselves.

They have a tendency to react poorly to the things that yanderes consider fine. 

While they might experience jealous or clingy behavior, it’s not to the point of drawing blood, kidnapping or stalking. 

While they might be possessive with belongings, they aren’t willing to stab someone for it. 

And some other reasons I can’t think of right now.

One massive flaw with this method is bias. The understanding that darlings are helpless and demure can cause some to be judged based on appearances. Cute kids often get misdiagnosed by opinions on what the tester thinks is darling behavior. Families might also carry this bias, and treat the yanderes like darlings because of their inherited behavior.  The inverse applies to darlings being misdiagnosed as yanderes for having violent or extremely clingy behavior. 

(This actually applies to Epel. Because of his adorable looks, he was misdiagnosed as a darling till he reached his early teens when his yandere behaviors got too apparent to ignore so he was retested and correctly diagnosed)

Another flaw (the one that lead to Neige being misdiagnosed) is that the yandere doesn’t have any connections (familial, platonic etc) to allow them to be appropriately diagnosed.

[starclancy]

hello!! Can I have a part 2 of the flirty shanks x reader angst? Where shes been with the Heart Pirates for a while but they cross paths again and have to work together because of some problem or puzzle needing to be solved. And it’s Law x reader in the end??

thank you! I love your writing so much!

TY!! I have gotten many pople asking for a pt.2 so here it is! there were many people requesting different endings so i tried to take from multiple, hope you like it!

~ Unspoken Goodbye Pt.2 ~

PAIRING: Fem!Reader/Shanks to Fem!Reader/Law

CONTENTS: 💘 - hurt/comfort

WORDCOUNT: 3000

Request status: Open (PLS)

The Polar Tang hummed steadily as it approached the jagged shores of an uncharted island, the rough waves crashing against the submarine’s hull. Y/N stood at the railing, her gaze fixed on the horizon, where the dense jungle met towering stone ruins. She pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders, the chill of the salty air biting against her skin.

Months had passed since she’d walked away from Shanks, leaving behind the chaotic warmth of the Red-Haired Pirates for the quiet precision of the Heart Pirates. The pain of her decision still lingered, a dull ache she carried like an old wound. But the ache was easier to bear now, dulled by time and the steady presence of Trafalgar Law.

Law wasn’t like Shanks. Where Shanks was carefree and loud, Law was reserved and methodical. He didn’t make grand promises or sweep her off her feet with charismatic grins. Instead, he offered something far more precious: stability.

“Y/N,” Law’s voice cut through her thoughts, calm and steady as always. “We’re docking.”

She nodded, her fingers tightening on the railing. The mission was straightforward—retrieve an ancient artifact rumored to hold information about a deadly virus spreading through the Grand Line. But something about this island felt heavy, as if fate itself had drawn her here for reasons beyond the mission.

The Heart Pirates disembarked, their boots crunching against the rocky terrain. The ruins loomed ahead, their massive stone pillars covered in moss and weathered carvings. Y/N’s eyes scanned the area, drawn to the intricate designs. But then she saw them—figures moving through the ruins, their silhouettes instantly recognizable.

Her breath caught in her throat.

The Red-Haired Pirates.

And leading them was Shanks.

His red hair glinted in the sunlight, tousled by the breeze, and his laughter echoed faintly through the air. He was leaning against a pillar, his posture relaxed as if he didn’t have a care in the world. But then his gaze shifted, and his eyes locked onto hers.

For a moment, the world seemed to still.

“Y/N,” Shanks murmured, his voice barely audible even to himself.

Law noticed the way she tensed and followed her gaze. His golden eyes narrowed slightly as they landed on the infamous red-haired pirate.

“This could get complicated,” Law said, his tone measured.

Y/N forced herself to breathe, to steady the storm brewing in her chest. “Let’s just focus on the mission.”

The two crews came together in front of the main structure of the ruins, the tension between them palpable. The artifact they sought was locked behind a series of puzzles, the mechanisms ancient and intricate. It quickly became clear that cooperation was the only way forward.

Shanks kept his distance at first, his usual jovial demeanor subdued. But his eyes never left Y/N, tracing her every movement as if trying to confirm she was real.

“You’ve been quiet,” Benn Beckman muttered to Shanks, his tone laced with unspoken understanding.

Shanks didn’t respond, his attention fixed on Y/N as she worked alongside Law.

Law, for his part, stayed close to her, his sharp mind focused on deciphering the carvings on the stone wall. His hand brushed hers briefly as he pointed out an inscription, a subtle gesture that spoke volumes.

Shanks’ jaw tightened.

“So, that’s how it is now,” he muttered under his breath.

When the groups split to tackle different challenges, Y/N found herself paired with Shanks. She kept her focus on the puzzle in front of her, trying to ignore the way his presence unsettled her.

“Y/N,” he said softly, breaking the silence.

She didn’t look up. “We need to concentrate.”

He stepped closer, his voice low. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

Her hands froze on the mechanism she was adjusting, but she didn’t turn to face him. “Don’t do this, Shanks.”

“I made a mistake,” he continued, desperation creeping into his tone. “Letting you go was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

Y/N clenched her fists, her knuckles whitening. “You didn’t let me go. I left. And you didn’t try to stop me.”

His breath hitched. “Because I thought I was protecting you. I thought—”

“You thought wrong,” she snapped, finally turning to face him. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. “I gave you everything, Shanks. I believed in you when no one else did. And you broke me.”

His shoulders sagged, the weight of her words hitting him like a punch to the gut. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I need you to know how sorry I am.”

Her voice wavered as she stepped back. “Sorry doesn’t change anything.”

When the crews reconvened, Shanks’ mood had darkened further. His usual charm was replaced by a simmering frustration, especially when he noticed Law’s proximity to Y/N.

“You’ve moved on,” Shanks said when he caught her alone again. “With him.”

Y/N squared her shoulders, meeting his gaze with a steady resolve. “Yes. Law treats me with the respect I deserve. He doesn’t make me question my worth.”

Shanks’ eyes narrowed. “Do you really think he can give you what I couldn’t?”

Her laugh was bitter. “He already has.”

Law approached then, his expression unreadable but his presence commanding. “Everything okay here?”

Shanks glared at him, but Y/N stepped closer to Law, her choice clear in the small distance she placed between herself and Shanks.

“We’re fine,” Y/N said, though her tone left no room for further discussion.

The final puzzle was solved, and the massive stone door creaked open, revealing a glowing artifact resting on a pedestal. It pulsed with a faint golden light, intricate carvings running along its surface.

The crews worked together to secure the artifact, but the emotional weight of the day hung heavy in the air.

As the Heart Pirates prepared to leave, Shanks approached Y/N one last time.

“Y/N,” he called out, his voice breaking.

She turned to face him, her expression unreadable.

“Please,” he begged, his usual confidence shattered. “Don’t go. I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this. To fix us.”

Her chest tightened at the sight of him—vulnerable, regretful, everything she’d wished he’d been before it was too late. But the pain he had caused was too great to ignore.

“You can’t fix what you broke, Shanks,” she said, her voice steady despite the tears in her eyes. “I’ve found someone who values me the way you never did.”

Her words were a dagger, and Shanks knew it.

Onboard the Polar Tang, Y/N found Law waiting for her in the mess hall. He handed her a steaming cup of tea, his golden eyes searching hers.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice soft.

She nodded, a small smile breaking through her sorrow. “I am now.”

Law tilted his head, studying her with a quiet intensity. “You don’t owe me an explanation, but if you ever want to talk…”

“I know,” she said, her voice warm with gratitude. “Thank you.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, Y/N felt at peace. She wasn’t just someone’s second choice anymore. She was her own person, carving out a new path alongside someone who truly cared for her.

As the submarine submerged, leaving the island and the Red-Haired Pirates behind, Y/N looked ahead—not to the past, but to the future.

A future with Law.

Shanks stood on the rocky shore, watching the Polar Tang disappear beneath the waves. The ache in his chest was unbearable, a hollow emptiness where her love had once been.

Benn Beckman approached, his footsteps soft against the sand. “She’s gone,” Benn said, his tone matter-of-fact but not unkind.

Shanks nodded, his gaze distant. “She’s happier now.”

“And you?” Benn asked.

Shanks didn’t answer. Instead, he turned back toward the ruins, the weight of his choices pressing down on him. He had lost her, and for the first time in his life, he knew the meaning of true regret.

[ythankucaptainmccoy]

Simon Ghost Riley x Reader (The Living Kill Too) Ch6

Here is the next chapter. Warnings: Nightmares, Physical Assault, Torture and Fluff.

Simon was a man that always got up on time even before his alarms would go off. After people started turning into those flesh eating things he still kept his schedule of waking before his watch alarmed, but this time it was different. The warmth against him was welcome and then his eyes fluttered open. You were sleeping peacefully against him as he had slept you must have turned into him. Your head tucked under his chin, your soft breath hitting his chest. 

You were still wearing the makeshift blindfold as some hair had fallen into your face. He slowly pushed the hair behind your ear making you sigh. His breath caught in his throat when you nuzzled closer into his chest. His alarm went off at that moment and you stirred awake and when you realized how close you were to Ghost you pulled back. “I’m sorry”, you whispered. “It’s alright”, he gruffed. 

Ghost noticed you didn’t even try to take the makeshift blindfold off and so he got up to grab his mask. Once he tugged it on he informed you that you could take off the blindfold. You sat there and realized it was still dark out. “Still on military time huh”, you smiled. Ghost seemed to smirk at that, but you couldn’t tell by the small lamp that illuminated a small part of the room, and his mask. “You can go back to sleep. I have duties to attend to”, he tells you.

“It’s alright. I’m up now best to earn my keep anyway”, you reply. Ghost watched you for another few minutes before motioning you to follow him. He took you to the infirmary and doc found some things for you to do. Ghost ducked out as soon as he could to do whatever it was he had to tend to. The crutches were a hindrance, but your wounded leg would protest when you tried to walk on it. Soap came by for a checkup from his wound and doc commented about how well done the sutures had been done.

You explained it was the heat of the moment and it would have been prettier had it not been a rushed job. Soap only laughed and talked about how the scar was just to add to his charm which you rolled your eyes at. The only break you received was for lunch and Soap came back to get you. Soap led you to a table in the back where Gaz and Ghost were sitting. “How you settlin’ in?”, Gaz asked. “Pretty well, have a new job and everything”, you reply.

Ghost watches you from the corner of his eye and listens intently to you. “Ghost any more information from that man you brought back?”, Gaz questions. You freeze knowing that the only reason that bastard is here is because of what he did to you and Josie. “Nothin’ yet”, Ghost replies. He is looking at you as you stop eating and starting to get nauseous. You will it away as Ghost seems to stare you down. “Ye arigh’ lass? Ye look like yer about to heave”, Soap says.

“Yeah, just pain in my leg”, you say. Soap and Gaz drop the conversation about the man you had Ghost torture, and start asking if your going to be okay. You force yourself to eat because you never know when you're going to eat again in this hellscape. Ghost had his mask up to eat and you focused on his mouth. Full lips with a scar on the top lip closer to the corner of his mouth. Strong jawline with small scars that look like they go up his cheek, and you can’t help but stare as he shovels food into his mouth only pulling it down while chewing. 

His eyes meet yours and you automatically place your gaze down to your food. “(Y/N)”, Ghost says. You look up to acknowledge him as he tells you to meet him after you're done with your work. The food was good as you cleaned up your spot and took your plate back to the woman working the line. The rest of the day went smoothly and when you were finished with the infirmary you made your way to meet Ghost. He stands against the wall as darkness is falling over the base. 

He looks ominous leaning against the wall as he meets your gaze. He pushes off the wall and you start to follow him. “So the guys don’t know what happened”, you state. “No, none of their business”, Ghost replies. You continued to follow him on your crutches as you recognized the path you were taking. The prisoner woke when you both entered the room and started yelling and cursing. Same as before you called out objects as Ghost inflicted the torture. 

This session lasted an hour before the prisoner passed out from pain. “Pitty”, Ghost mumbled. Ghost once again led you to his room, but then said something about a shower. You followed along and grabbed a cloth to clean around the sutures in your leg. The soap was going to dry out your skin, but you were clean for the first time in a couple of weeks. When you got finished you dried your hair and skin as Ghost waited for you.

Ghost led you back through the maze of the base and back to his room. You had snagged a small rag earlier in the infirmary just in case you needed it. You sat down as he took your crutches to place against the wall. When he turned around he was surprised to see that you had placed a rag over your eyes and tied it in the back. “What’re ya doin’ luv?”, he asked. “This way you can be comfortable in your own room. That mask has to get uncomfortable at some point”, you say.

He feels intrigued that you’re still willing to blindfold yourself after what you know he is capable of doing to you. “Why do you trust me?”, he blurts out. You sit frozen for a few moments as you think of how to respond to his outburst. “Because you helped me when I was at my lowest point, and never made me feel unsafe”, you whisper. He breaks a little at that and sits beside you as he realizes you’re shaking as you recall what happened to you. You startle a little when he pulls you into his lap, but you soon relax within his arms. 

He doesn’t speak, just holds you as you nuzzle into him. “Thank you for saving me”, you mumble into his chest. “Always luv”, he responds. You smile at that as you feel him pull off his mask. Without thinking he places his lips to the top of your head for a quick peck even though you don’t register it at first. Without thinking you bring your hand up to place on his face, but he grabs your wrist as you jolt a little. “I’m sorry”, you whisper. He is tense as a bowstring as you sit and wait for him to make a move. He brings your hand close to his face and with the palm open he set’s it against his cheek.

You just rest there cupping his cheek and rub your thumb back and forth across a slight stubble. He relaxes more and more as you let him get used to it. He reminds you of a skittish cat that would spook at the slightest wrong move. When he leaned into your touch you felt somewhat accomplished as you continued then squeaked when he pulled you back with him as he lay on his back. You stayed like that until you rolled off him and fell asleep as he sat staring at the ceiling. What the hell was he doing letting you get this close to him. He always kept people at a distance before to keep them from getting hurt. 

He remembered one woman back in England near his old flat that tried several times to get to know him. He kept her at a distance only seeing her as a neighbor because of not only his past, but the job he had. If anyone then had found out about a girlfriend or acquaintance they could become a target, but now what would it matter in the ruins of old civilizations? Maybe the only reason he felt this way is because of what happened to him because of Roba, and how he was also at the mercy of sick people. 

Maybe he was drawn to you because of basic instincts starting to take over. Yeah that had to be it; he was drawn to you because biologically it made sense. That’s what he continued to tell himself before sleep claimed him. Later that night you woke to Ghost muttering and the bed moving slightly. You listened for a moment then realized he was still asleep when he gasped then let out a strangled cry. You sat up realizing it was a nightmare and with your blindfold still on patted the bed until you met his shoulder. 

You gently pushed him and that’s all it took for him to startle awake and lash out. He threw you hard onto the floor and before you could scramble to your feet fully he hit you with the strength of a bull. Your back and head hit the wall behind you causing a cry to slip from your lips. Then a fist collided with your face. Pain erupted along your cheek as you tried to steady yourself again, but he slipped behind you as one arm went around your neck.

“Ghost”, you gasped. His hold only tightened as you scratched at his arm to try and pry it off. You panicked in that moment and jabbed your elbow several times into his ribs. He grunted but nothing helped and you could feel consciousness slipping away. You decided in a split second to go limp and it seemed to work as his grip loosened. You took that moment to slip under his arms causing the blindfold to slip off. It was dark but you could make out his silhouette and the door behind him. 

You knew there was no way you were going to get past him so you grabbed the lamp from the table and threw it. It made contact stunning him enough for you to slip past him and grab the door handle, but you were yanked back by your hair and fell to the floor. He was over top of you and his hands wrapped around your neck squeezing hard enough that you were sure your windpipe would collapse. He slammed your head a couple of times as you clawed at his arms again.

You tried to talk but no sound would come out, but you stopped fighting and lifted your hand to his cheek. You felt him flinch but continued to keep your hand there and used your thumb to stroke his cheek. His grip suddenly loosened as you gasped for breath and his breath became erratic. You knew what PTSD looked like and knew this episode was coming to an end. He was shaking when you made your way to your knees coughing. “Ghost”, you rasped. 

He flinched when you spoke to him and you slowly inched your way to him as he collapsed. His back resting on the wall as he tried to regain his composure. You didn’t speak as you settled to sit beside him with your back against the same wall. You slowly put your hand over his and he flinches again, but doesn’t pull away as you use your thumb to slowly stroke his knuckles. You both sit in silence for a few minutes until his door opens. 

You close your eyes when you hear Soap’s voice, “Ghost ya’ alright ma… Holy hell (Y/N) what the hell happened here?!”. “Bad dream, he’s alright now”, you rasp. Still keeping your eyes closed as you know the light is streaming in from the hallway. “I didn’t mean to”, Ghost whispers. You can feel he is trembling again as you squeeze his hand. You feel someone kneel in front of you and you can tell it’s Soap as he touches your cheek. You wince as pain radiates from it and Soap apologizes.

“Steamin’ Jesus (Y/N) your face and neck”, Soap says. “It’s alright Soap”, you croak. “You need to be checked out”, Soap announces. “I’m not leaving”, you whisper. “I’m going to get doc”, Soap relays. “Fine”, you reply. You hear Soap leaving and you look away from Ghost knowing that his face is still on display. You look away from him and spot a balaclava next to you on a table. You reached up, grabbing it and handing it to Ghost with your free hand. He pulled his hand away from yours to put it on, but his hand came right back to yours to squeeze for reassurance.

“It’s okay”, you grate out. You turned to look at him and you could see the anguish in his eyes. You smile at him as you wince a little at the already swelling cheek. He continues to watch you as you put your head on his shoulder. When Doc comes bustling into the room he kneels down in front of you. “(Y/N) how are you feeling?”, doc asked. “I’m fine, really just hit my head a couple of times”, you explain. “Then what happened to your cheek and neck?”, Doc grilled. “It was nothing”, you replied. 

“It was my fault”, Ghost spoke up. Doc looked appalled as he continued to check you over. “He was suffering a PTSD attack. It was my fault for triggering him”, you explain. “Well you have a concussion, bruised cheek and your neck will be sore for the next couple of days”, Doc tells you. You nod as Doc turns to Soap ordering him to go get some water for you. Soap doesn’t hesitate as Ghost has been rigid since Doc came into the room. Soap comes back as you take sips of water and Doc finishes up with his instructions.

Once Doc leaves Soap waits to see what you want him to do. “It’s okay Soap I’ll be alright”, you rasp. “You good Lt.?”, he asked. “I’ll be alright Johnny”, Ghost responds. Soap lingers for a moment longer then leaves as you hear him go back into his room. Ghost doesn’t move a muscle as you turn to look at him. He flinches when you place your hand on his shoulder. “Ghost it’s alright. I shouldn’t have touched you when you were obviously having a night terror”, you whisper.

He looks at you just staring into your eyes. “I never should have put my hands on you”, he says. “Well I technically put my hands on you first, and if it wasn’t for almost dying it was very impressive how quickly you move”, you respond. He relaxes a little more as you both sit in silence for a while holding his hand. “Teach me”, you say. “What?”, he grunts. “Teach me how to defend myself. I want to be able to know how to get out of holds and fight back if I ever needed to”, you explain. 

“Alright once you're healthy we’ll start trainin”, He gruffs. You lean your head on his shoulder as he watches you. You can feel all the adrenaline leaving you and you close your eyes for a while. “Wake up luv”, Ghost says. “I was just resting my eyes”, you respond. “Can’t have you fallin’ asleep yet. Don’t want ya’ to have any complications”, he tells you. You could tell that even though Ghost had relaxed some he was still tense. You got up slowly as Ghost watched you grab your crutch. 

“Come on”, you say. He looks at you in slight bewilderment as you hold your hand out for him to take. He takes hold of your hand and you pull him up with what little strength you had left. He followed you as you made your way towards the cafeteria. When you entered the kitchen you pulled a teapot and scavenged until you found some tea bags. You made him sit down on a stool while you fixed the tea as he silently watched you. Once the tea was done you grabbed a cup and poured some out for him.

“It probably isn’t tea like you’re used to, but it’s at least tea”, you joke. You could see the small tug at the corner of his mouth in a lopsided grin. He pulled his balaclava up to expose his mouth and lower part of his nose. Same as last time you took note of the small scar through the corner of his lips and the ones on his opposite cheek. “Take a picture luv it’ll last longer”, he gruffed. His comment made you look away as your face heated up. 

You hadn’t seen his whole face or any other part of him, but that didn't mean you couldn’t imagine what he was like underneath that mask. “Seems like you have seen a lot of action”, you say trying to make small talk. He hums at that as you turn to make yourself a cup of tea. “I’m sorry for earlier”, he mumbled. When you turned around he wouldn’t look you in the eye. “Ghost it was an accident and I shouldn’t have woken you up like that”, you respond. 

Ghost then looks you in the eyes and you can see he is trying to work through things in his mind. “Why do you do that?”, he asked. “Do what?”, you reply. “Why are you forgiving me? I'm no better than that man I have been torturing”, he says. “No Ghost, you are nothing like that man”, you say. “I put my hands on you. I tried to kill you”, he raised his voice and started to stomp toward you. “You didn’t and wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t woken you up”, you huff.

He comes to stand in front of you looming over you in an intimidating manner. His mask is still up from where he was sipping his tea and his eyes are boring into yours. It clicks in that moment for you that this is his defensive mechanism. He pushes people away so that way he doesn’t have to deal with his emotions. It angers you a little that this man would do that to you after all you had been through since meeting him and Soap in that house.

His breath hit your face as he stared into your eyes with a gaze that people would cower from. “You’re an idiot”, he growls. You scoff at that as you have already deduced what his game is. “Oh I’m an idiot huh. What about when I helped save your ass when we were being shot at”, you huff. “I had everything under control”, he seethes. “Oh yeah sure you did”, you hissed. The anger in his eyes and his words should have made you want to wither, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from the beautiful fury behind those brown eyes.

You watched as his eyes flitted to your mouth a few times and if you hadn’t been paying close attention you would have missed it. Without thinking you pushed onto your toes and smashed your lips to his. He pulled back in shock and you could tell you had taken him off guard. You watched as the shock faded, but then he lunged forward pinning you against the counter. His lips were on yours and he was being as gentle as he could be. You were panting in between kisses and the anger and tension in his body slowly faded. 

In the heat of the moment you rolled your hips as he pulled away with a grunt. “No we can’t”, he breathed. You couldn’t understand what you did wrong as he seemed to be enjoying it just moments ago. “Come on we should get back to bed”, he says. You help put away the cups then follow Ghost back to his room. You lay down on the bed while Ghost lies down on the floor. “You don’t have to sleep on the floor”, you say.

“I’m fine down here”, he gruffed. You didn’t respond as you rolled over onto your side turned away from him. You fell asleep not long after, but when you woke up the next morning it was late. Ghost was gone from the room, and it angered you a little that he hadn’t woken you up for your duties. You went to medical to help doc and he gave you some small tasks to do. When you were finished for the day you went to go eat. When you got to the mess hall Soap and Gaz were at their table. 

You grabbed your food and went to sit down with them looking around for Ghost. “If yer lookin’ fer Ghost you won’t find ‘im lass”, Soap said around a mouthful of food. “What do you mean?”, you questioned. “He left early this morning”, Gaz replied. “What for?”, you asked. “Said something about scoutin’ the nearest town”, Soap replies. You think about it for a minute and wonder if you're the reason he left this morning. 

Ghost trudged along in the small town watching to see how many dead there were. A lot of times it was helpful to know if large herds of dead were moving through. So far there were small pockets of dead, but nothing to be concerned about, but he was concerned about what had happened with you last night. How he could have killed you, but how you had kissed him even after what he had done. He wondered if he should have stopped you last night, but of course he should have. Getting attached to someone could cause people to die so he continued with his internal war as he scouted more of the area.

[xiuminsmygrandpa]

I'm rereading a diary entry I wrote a few years ago and it reminded me of Charles Rowland. Since it's pretty lengthy I'll only pull out the parts I think are relevant to his character.

"When I was a kid I assumed there was something so inherently wrong with me, so unlovable that no one would ever want to be my friend."

I was never physically abused when I was a child but my dad came very close to hitting me on several occasions and my mom, my primary caretaker was verbally abusive. So I grew up in a home with two parents who were incapable of loving me unconditionally. Just like Charles I never felt like I measured up to the impossible standards my mom set for me. Because of that, I assumed there must be something wrong with me, fundamentally, that made people incapable of ever loving me.

"I'd like to think I'm confident and self-assured but really I'm desperate for people to like me. To be accepted for who I am. Because for so long I thought that wasn't possible."

Before and even after meeting Edwin, Charles constantly tries his best to charm everyone he meets. Growing up with a dad who beat him he had hoped that by living up to his father's impossible standards he would be beaten less. But, as Charles says at the end of episode 4 it didn't matter how good he was, his father would still find a reason to beat him.

"I was a different person back then but the pain still lingers. Back then I was small and defenseless. I was a child but trauma has a way of sticking to the wounds I thought had healed. It turns out the scares were actually scabs and I'm bleeding all over again."

In episode 5 Charles is forced to confront the kids he thought were his friends, who betrayed him and ultimately killed him. He desperately wants to believe in Brad and Hunter just like he believed in his friends. But by acknowledging that they were not good guys starts him on a journey to healing some of the trauma that still lingers from when he was alive.

"But I let 6 fucked up people fuck me up. I let them in and they stabbed me in the back. I'd forgotten what that felt like. And I should've known better than to befriend them" (author's note I didn't mean this literally unlike Charles Rowland who doesn't technically get stabbed but they threw rocks at him as he was freezing in a lake which is almost the same thing)

I think this is why it hurts so much more for Charles to realize Brad and Hunter were truly evil. It must have felt like he was being betrayed a second time and after having to literally relive the moment his friends turned their backs on him in the previous episode it must have felt that much more palpable.

"I'm not a vengeful person. But I'm hurt. And a part of me wants to hurt them back."

At the end of episode 4 when Charles beats the Night Nurse we as the audience know his actions are justified. Afterall, she literally made him relive the moments before his death that he hasn't fully processed in 35 years. We know this but Edwin, Crystal, and Niko don't know this. They see a boy with anger issues and as someone who's been unfairly villainized by people who he thought he could trust oooof I can see why he ends up crying and confessing to his best mate that his dad beat him. I was bullied a lot as a kid and this show captures how awful and isolating that feels. Bullying isn't brushed aside because two of its main characters literally lose their lives to their tormentors.

"I'm a good person. I have many passions. I'm friendly, genuine, and honest. And yet people love to assume the worst in me. That I must be too good to be true. That it's all an act."

A big part of Charles' journey throughout season one is him coming to terms with who he is and how he presents himself to the world. I think one of his biggest, if not his biggest fear, is that if he weren't his usual charming self that no one would like him. But we know this is fundamentally not true because even when Charles was at his absolute lowest point (when he was literally freezing to death in an attic) he befriends another boy who also assumes he's unlikeable.

And that is why I love Dead Boy Detectives because it shows us that no matter what everyone is worthy of love, but most especially those who are told they aren't. Just like Charles finds the unconditional love and acceptance he never had when he was alive in Edwin and Crystal, I know I have it with my best friend and family. At it's core this show proves time and time again that we're never alone, even at our lowest when we feel abandoned, there is always at least one person who will gladly guide us back towards the light.

I know this is super long and wordy (the art history nerd in me sucks at being concise) but I had a lot of thoughts, particularly about episode 5, after the cameo I requested and I really wanted to share them. I do not expect George or Jayden to ever see this but I wanted to thank them profusely for being part of a show that has brought me so much joy and community that I really needed this year.