#and how exactly they would be getting out out of trouble. That would have been more fun.

[ramshacklefey]

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich and The Things They Carried rewired parts of my brain. The Odyssey was a real treat. (Especially when some of my classmates who found the language rather opaque started gathering around me at morning homeroom to hear my retellings of last night's reading assignment.)

But I know some of you probably have or had a miserable time in English class, and that may have been partly because your school didn't properly prepare you for reading the books ahead of time, so you were just totally at sea all the way through.

If that's the case, here are some tips for getting more enjoyment out of a book you're struggling with!

Look up summaries of individual chapters (CliffsNotes usually has these). Then go back and read them. Having an idea of what's happening might help you follow along with language or writing styles that you're struggling with.

Let yourself skim over particular passages you're baffled by and latch onto the ones that make sense. Finding points that you can follow might help you make sense of the trickier ones by providing context.

If you don't understand a character's motivations, especially in older books and books that take place in a foreign country, it might be because you're missing context. That's okay, and your teacher isn't expecting you to have encyclopedic knowledge of the historical and cultural context for a book.

But also, even in the most unfamiliar circumstances, you can look for things that make sense to you. The characters are still people, and regardless of context, people are still people.

But also, sometimes you just can't relate to the character. That's ok. "Well I would never ____" Yes, but this person did. And here's why. In the world they live in, it made sense or it was the only thing they could do. And there are people in real life who do that. Now you've seen a little bit of why.

You don't have to like all the characters. Some characters (even the protagonists) you're supposed to hate. Sometimes that's because the author is saying, "This bastard is fucked up, but do you see how he got that way?" Sometimes it's, "This bitch made every wrong choice possible, but damn if it didn't make some wild drama."

Remember that sometimes the author may not explain exactly why something happens because it's supposed to be a bit of a mystery at first! Keep reading and see if it gets explained later!

Look up words in the dictionary!!

If you're having trouble keeping a lot of characters in your head, make a cast list. "John is Mary's brother and he's a bit of a dick."

It's okay if there are books you simply do not vibe with. Give them a fair shake, but really, even the kids who love English class are gonna have books they hate. I despised a few of the books I read for school. But remember that struggling with a book and not liking it aren't the same thing!

And for the love of everything holy. Ask. Your. Teacher. Questions. Write them down while you're reading and ask! If you're scared to ask in class, talk to them at another time! But I can guarantee that if you didn't understand something, some of your classmates didn't either. If your teacher is remotely competent, they'll be delighted to answer your questions.

And there are no questions too simple to ask in class!! "Why did this character do this thing?" "What's up with this sentence?" "I tried reading this, and here's what I think the events of this chapter were. Is that really what happened?" "What the heck is a ____?" "Why was this bit in here? It doesn't seem like it's important to the plot." "How do we know that ____ theme is in here?"

Yes, there are themes and symbols and motifs and whatever else in books. Your teacher isn't just making it up. People tell stories for a reason. The author is trying to communicate something to you. "Well why didn't they just say that?" Because saying it in a story shows you something about it. I can tell you, "Love isn't always enough to save you." or I can show you that by telling you a story about two people who fall in love and then get their shit wrecked. I can tell you, "This war happened and it was awful," or I can show you the people who were in it and what it did to them. I can tell you, "The government is a corrupt pile of festering feces," or I can show you what might happen if we keep going on the path we're on.

And you might not agree! You can say, "No, it wouldn't happen like that." You can say, "But this war was worth it because it resulted in this." You can say, "Actually, this particular social outcome seems pretty rad to me." That's okay because stories are a conversation, not the word of God from on high. But again, give the author a fair shake.

The most important thing is that you don't just give up if you're struggling. You're in school to learn! So accept that there are things you don't already know.

I straight up do not trust you if you did not enjoy a single book you had to read for English class. I know they assigned some real stuffy stinkers and the curriculum varies across districts but not one? Not The Outsiders? Not The Picture of Dorian Gray? Not Fahrenheit 451? Not even Frankenstein? Damn. That’s crazy.

[avelera]

(Arcane Meta) Zaun Died with Silco

I want to open this by saying I understand people who are upset that there isn't more Piltover/Zaun conflict and resolution in S2 of Arcane. However, I'm going to argue here that the reason it's not in S2 after 2.03 is because the conflict is over. Piltover won. There is no more Zaun anymore as a potential political player and, ultimately, this comes back to haunt Piltover in their hour of need.

Overall, while I am invested in the Piltover/Zaun conflict, especially in S1, I'm less focused on Caitlyn and Vi's story which is our main lens for the conflict, or rather the end of the conflict, in S2. Still, I hope to offer my more Arcane worldbuilding-focused perspective. And just to get it out of the way, here are a few things I had trouble with:

I too was puzzled that anyone from the Undercity would join Piltover in the defense of the city.

I also thought it was strange to have Jayce focus on the threat that Viktor posed with his robots while soliciting help from the undercity, instead of on Ambessa, the more clear and understandable threat that would have made a better rallying point and allowed for a final discussion about the Noxian occupation of the undercity and how Noxus turning on Piltover was just them reaping what they sowed.

I was certainly taken aback when everyone was given Enforcer uniforms for the final fight.

That said, I believe there are answers to all three of these. From there, I want to dive into what exactly happened in S2 with Piltover vs. Zaun, to my eyes. Short version: there is no more "Zaun" as a potential nation or political player by 2.03 when the Chem Barons are taken out by Cait's forces, but it really died before that with Silco, who was already in a precarious negotiating situation himself and he knew it.

Very few people from the Undercity joined Piltover's defense of the city. Maybe a half dozen. I felt that was our moment of "you reap what you sow" for Piltover. A few passionate idealists who could see the bigger picture that saving Piltover does mean saving the undercity joined, but there were no hordes of volunteers. Piltover had lost the right to them and was substantially weakened for it.

Jayce choosing to focus on Viktor as the threat makes sense for him, but it was a poor political move and probably lost him volunteers he would have otherwise gained. The robot army threat is too esoteric and fantastical. "The Noxians turned on us and plan to conquer the city," is a threat that would have been better for rallying the troops, Jayce is just too single-minded to think of it. He's a bad politician.

The Enforcer uniforms are an odd sour note, but they do make sense as protective gear. Piltover doesn't have an army. There are no uniforms to give people. All they have is Enforcer uniforms. It is an odd note symbolically, but practically speaking it shows how little time Piltover had to prepare. Piltover is a civilian city going up against a military force like Noxus. They are woefully underprepared and really only have their status as defender in urban fighting to give them a prayer of even stalling the Noxian forces. Ironically, Piltover's only hope against Noxus mirrors Zaun's only hope against Piltover if they had gone to war: the difficult nature of urban fighting against an entrenched, motivated opponent on their home turf.

Now, to get into, "What happened to the overall Piltover vs. Zaun fight?" I get why people think it's lacking in S2, and I get why people find it horrifying that there is no independent Zaun at the end, all we've got is Sevika with one seat on the Council, as far as we can tell but I would point out:

Zaun is dead at this point. It's been dead since 2.03. Arguably, it really died with Silco.

As Jinx said, she didn't just destroy her own family, she cursed an entire society when she launched that rocket into the Council Chamber.

Here's the thing, Jayce was actually right when he said Zaun wouldn't stand a chance in an outright war with Piltover.

Yes, Zaun has a lot of brawlers. They have Shimmer and the Shimmer berserkers.

But Zaun doesn't have any sort of organized fighting force beyond the guards of individual Chem Barons and their factories.

What Zaun has is the fissures. It has ugly, difficult urban fighting in dangerous spaces. But as a counter to that, we have the fact that their ventilation is controlled from Piltover. In a true all-out war, Piltover could in theory just flush out the entire undercity using the Gray. Having your infrastructure entirely dependent on an enemy oppressor is what I would call a "fatal flaw" in any defensive military strategy, particularly when what they can cut off is the air you breathe. That's easily game over right there unless Silco has a way to circumvent that.

In a guerilla war, Zaun could probably hold out for a long, grinding, ugly civil war made up of mostly guerrilla attacks, in which a great number of innocent civilians will die, even in an all-out conflict with Piltover. But it would suffer catastrophic losses and probably still lose in the end.

Now, Jayce is I think somewhat naive in his claim Zaun doesn't stand a chance. Maybe Zaun wouldn't stand a chance in the long run, but they'd make Piltover pay for every inch with blood. They'd grind Piltover down into a shadow of its former self, force them to sacrifice all of their principles. To some extent, I think Jayce gets that, he gets that he doesn't want more kids to die, but I think even he underestimates just how ugly that war would be and how long it would go and how unrecognizable his Piltover would be by then.

The moment that gives Silco pause in Jayce's assessment of how easily Zaun would be crushed isn't the fighting. Silco is pretty confident that they could make Piltover pay and he's arguably looking forward to the chance on some level.

What gives him pause is when Jayce says the Council doesn't care.

To some extent, Silco like any revolutionary against an oppressive "civilized" society (heavy, heavy emphasis on the air quotes there) is that a certain point, Piltover is so soft-hearted they will get tired of the bloodshed.

What Jayce just told Silco is that the Council is more barbaric than even Silco maybe appreciated, for all their vaunted principles. There isn't necessarily a limit to how many Zaunite children will die before Piltover decides to cease hostilities. Knowing what Silco knows of Piltover's brutality, I think that is a sobering moment for Silco. That's when he decides this really is the best time to negotiate.

(Aside, this is by the way where Vi is wrong about Silco, driven by her emotions. Silco is willing to set aside the feud to get his nation of Zaun, he can be negotiated with. He's just not willing to give up his daughter (something Vi can't possibly understand at this point).)

Here's why it's the best time for Silco to negotiate and it ties into everything else:

Without Shimmer, which has been severely hampered by the raid on the factory, Zaun doesn't have anything to counter Hextech.

Jinx's wild attacks against Piltover has helped put the pressure on them that Silco capitalizes on. But it is a paper-thin threat. She is a lone albeit devastating terrorist. She makes Zaun appear more dangerous than it is but that can't last forever. Silco has leveraged her attacks into a pressure campaign against Piltover, but a serious response from Piltover (as seen in 2.03 with the strike team corners and very nearly captures her) could reveal just how fragile that threat is.

Basically, Zaun has some champions, arguably a league of legends lol, but it doesn't have an army. It doesn't even have Enforcers of its own. It doesn't have a concerted force of any kind.

The money is running out. As "Sucker" shows us in 2.02, each Chem Baron that gets taken out means less money on the table, and we're down 2 by the beginning of S2 with Silco and Finn, who arguably both fell to internal fighting.

As the Chem Barons say in 2.02, even if they got total unity in Zaun, they're outnumbered.

However, they don't have total unity in Zaun. They can't even get the Chem Barons to agree on what to do on one topic, with Jinx.

Silco basically has to accept the deal with Jayce when he does, while Zaun appears to be at its strongest. Because if he had waited any longer, the fact that they don't have the strength or money to back it up would have become apparent.

Furthermore, once Jayce resigns from the Council, which he was planning to do anyway regardless of Jinx's attack, would mean Zaun would lose its one champion with the political capital to give them independence. The window for Zaun independence is actually extremely narrow.

With Silco's death and Jinx's attack on the Council, then the subsequent eradication of the other Chem Barons, their resources, their money, including Shimmer which was the only thing Zaun really had to match them against Hextech in that arms race, there really isn't a Zaun anymore.

There's no one to negotiate with. No one to hand power to. No force that can govern itself. Zaun is completely fractured with the eradication of the Chem Barons. By taking them out, Cait removed the need for Piltover to negotiate with Zaun. And the reason Piltover chose not to was because of Jinx's rocket and then the attack on the memorial, which was orchestrated by Ambessa.

This is all according to Ambessa's design, by the way. She divides Piltover/Zaun against themselves by capitalizing on Jinx's attack. She leaves both severely weakened to make it easier for her to take over, and Piltover walks right into the trap. They would have fallen to Noxus if not for Mel's love of the city, even if you remove Viktor and Jayce's plotline entirely.

TL;DR Zaun is gone, guys. It's a distant dream. Sevika is the only person with an interest in making it happen anymore and she can't even get the Jinxers to listen to her. All the factions are easily arrested at the rally. Piltover has no reason to negotiate with any of these people. As the lone torchbearer for that cause, it makes sense for Sevika to be on the Council but beyond her, there is literally no one else to give a voice to (since Ekko doesn't appear to have an interest).

At least, until the Noxians turn on them, and then there's an interest in Piltover and the undercity joining forces, but as I referenced at the beginning of this, Piltover has now lost the right to the undercity's help AND lacks the undercity's resources too. Now Noxus has Shimmer instead of Piltover or Zaun, in addition to their sophisticated and expertly trained military force. As Jayce said, they were meant to lose this fight. Arguably, they never had a chance of winning if not for Mel claiming the loyalty of the Noxians in the wake of her mother's death and everything Jayce did to stop Viktor and the Hexcore.

[nakylvr]

Okay so first request is in fact not a smut one! Instead i would like to request the kats reaction to gn reader being clumsy and stupid and injuring themself in ridiculous ways

Great example: my dumbass last night. I was looking for my scissors and forgot I had them on my lap and then turned and punctured myself with my scissors by my pelvic area so yesterday and today I've been having trouble walking and moving my left leg 😭

N e ways i would just like comfort from the kats bc i am a stupid clumsy idiot

-trans dude anon

as someone who rarely gets injured but when injured is injured extremely bad...i tried my best here 😭🙏

warnings/tags: established relationship, gn!reader, mild language

sophia

sophia is the least surprised whenever someone gets hurt, including you. will she react the same every time as if you're bleeding out dying even when you just stub your toe on something? yes. but, it's the thought that counts! so when she hears a yelp from inside the apartment, she's not surprised when she rounds the corner to see you mumbling under your breath about how that table should be moved by now while standing on one leg. and yet, she still rushes over to you asking if you're okay and what happened. depending on how bad the injury is determines how badly she freaks out, and if there's any blood whatsoever she's taking it like you're bleeding out, putting you on the couch and getting the first aid kit. it's safe to say she's gotten used to you getting injured randomly throughout the day, but she still babies you every time like it's the first time getting hurt around her. it's the same if you're sick. she'll do anything to make sure you feel better especially if it was a more serious injury, doing literally everything before you can even think of asking her. she just knows. it's a little scary sometimes.

manon

manon is also not that surprised whenever you get hurt because of how many times it happens. she expects it by now but it still shocks her when she hears you yell from across the room or wherever you are. she is already walking towards you with the first aid kit before you can even call for her and she just shakes her head seeing you get hurt doing something stupid again. that being said, she also babies you, but not as much as sophia. she likes taking care of you and she doesn't get to do it often, so she does everything in her power when she is. she makes sure you're completely okay before helping you into bed or on the couch and puts the first aid kit away before coming back to you. her go to way to comfort anyone, including herself is watching comfort shows/movies, so that's exactly what she does once she ensures you're okay and she can relax a little bit, laying down next to you and putting something you like on the tv. she may call you an idiot for the ways you get hurt sometimes, but she means well and you can tell in her eyes that she's genuine every time she helps you whenever you injure yourself accidentally.

daniela

dani might or might not laugh in your face at times depending on how you got hurt. if she witnessed it especially. it's her first instinct if it's funny how you got hurt before she quickly hurries over to you and checks to see if you're okay. she doesn't mean to laugh, she just honestly can't help it sometimes. she does apologize for laughing if you're actually hurt, and she wouldn't do it again if it was a serious injury. she might actually scold you a little bit if it was a bad injury because of your clumsy ass while helping you with the first aid kit, mumbling curses under her breath about how one day you'll hurt yourself really bad. it's a little surprising but just tell her that you're fine, that you won't hurt yourself too badly, and she'll lighten up a little bit. but, she's not leaving your side ever. she knows you well enough to know you can get injured anywhere so she now does everything to ensure you don't get hurt, but it still happens sometimes unfortunately for her. she'll still scold you after every time.

lara

lara also might laugh, occasionally if she knows you're not seriously hurt. she can tell the difference in how you react when you get hurt if it's serious or not, and that's what determines how she reacts to it. if it's not serious, she just shakes her head while jokingly saying how clumsy you are but still helping you and babying you a bit. if it's serious then she's serious, she doesn't fuck around when you're actually hurt. she is immediately getting the first aid kit when she hears you yell and she is the calmest one to help you with the injury. the way her whole demeanor changes is surprising every time, and when she looks at you and asks if you're okay with genuine eyes and a soft voice you just fall more in love with her. she won't leave your side until she knows 100% you're okay and back to normal, calling out of schedules if she has to to make sure you're better.

megan

megan is nearly as bad as you. it's terrible. one of you is injured most of the time if not both of you. one day she'll be helping you and the next you'll be helping her it's never ending honestly. and somehow she freaks out every time you get hurt. as if you're dying on her! she tries her best to help you but there are times where she just gives you reassuring words while you patch yourself up if she can't. but she is doing everything under the sun for you if you get hurt more seriously. anything you ask of her she will do, and she'll ask you every ten minutes if you need anything or how you're doing. you want something to eat? she's driving to your favorite place and bringing it back for you. you want to watch a movie and relax? she's bringing every blanket and pillow possible and dimming the lights in case you fall asleep. she's down bad and it shows whenever you're hurt.

[justagalwhowrites]

Halcyon - Ch. 21: That's Been a Long Time Comin', Baby

You and Joel have a long overdue conversation. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 20, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Nothing really! Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 4.3k

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter

“You finally get arrested and it’s by goddamn rent-a-cops,” Tommy was beaming as he and Joel made their way from the police station to his truck. “Only you could make gettin’ in trouble this fuckin’ lame.” 

“It wasn’t a rent-a-cop,” Joel said, grinding his teeth. “It was university police.” 

“That’s a rent-a-cop.” 

“They’re real police!” Joel said. 

Tommy scoffed. 

“Not like you’re gonna have a record now.” 

“Only because they let me go without charging me with shit,” Joel said. “No idea why… Shouldn’t have even called you, wasn’t trying to waste your time.” 

“Not like you knew they were going to just let you go,” Tommy said, serious now. “I was Googling attorneys and shit, I thought I was going to have to bail your ass out for a change. Nice that they didn’t lock you up.” 

“Yeah,” Joel said as they reached Tommy’s truck. They got in and buckled up and Joel sighed, looking out the window. “Just wish I knew why.” 

He was at a loss. The police had hauled him out of your office so fast he didn’t even get a chance to find out what you were thinking, if you had anything at all to say. If he was right about the book, God he hoped he was right about the book. 

He thought - or maybe just hoped - that you’d show up at the police station. They threw him in a holding cell with a few college-aged fuckups and he watched the door, half convinced that you’d come walking in. Like if he just stared at it long enough you’d appear, come inside and walk right up to the bars and grab him and kiss him. Or at least yell at him. 

But you didn’t. 

Instead, he just stood there, watching the door, until a cop came over to take his information and  gave him the chance to call someone. Tommy got there about the same time as the same cop came over to tell Joel that he was free to go, at least for now. 

“So,” Tommy said eventually, drumming his hands on the steering wheel. “You gonna tell me exactly how you got your ass arrested by rent-a-cops?” 

Joel quirked his jaw. 

“Not saying you have to or anything,” Tommy continued. “But if you don’t tell me I will just make up some shit and it’ll be lame. Real lame. Like they caught you with a flask on campus and mistook you for a freshman lame.” 

“I…” Joel sighed. “I might have done something stupid.” 

“Likely thing for you to do,” Tommy said. 

“Fuck off.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Tommy said. “I’ll lay off but… c’mon, man. This is weird for you. You got me worried, you don’t do shit like this.” 

“I know,” Joel said, wondering if maybe he’d done something like this sooner - like when he saw that fucking guy kissing you years ago - maybe everything would be different now. “I… I read Goldie’s book.” 

“Alright…” Tommy said, glancing his way. “Last time I checked, that ain’t illegal.” 

“It’s not,” Joel said. “But… I’d never read it before and… Look, maybe I’m crazy, maybe it’s all fiction but it don’t feel like fiction and… I think she… she might… she might feel the same way I do.” 

“Oh shit,” Tommy laughed, grinning like an idiot. “Fuck yeah, man!” 

“I went to talk to her,” Joel said. “But she was there with her fucking husband and I overheard one of her students say he hit on her and then I went to her office and he was kissing her and I… I just… I punched him.” 

“Good for you!” Tommy clapped him on the shoulder. “About damn time somebody put that jackass in his place. What’d Goldie say?” 

“Not much,” Joel sighed. “Not like we got a chance to really talk. Said the book was ancient history, asked why I cared… Kept hoping she’d show up at the station but…” 

Tommy pulled up alongside Joel’s truck and he sighed. 

“Least I wasn’t locked up when I needed to get Sarah from school,” he muttered. 

“Don’t matter,” Tommy said. “I’m gonna go get her.” 

“What?” Joel laughed. 

“Not going to let you chicken out on this shit,” Tommy said. “I got Sarah, you go talk to Goldie. Actually talk to her, not yell some shit at her and then punch her husband. You’re finally - fucking finally - doing something about it. You’re finally going after what you want and I’m not going to let you give up because you got arrested by some mall cop on steroids.” 

“Tommy…” 

“I’m serious,” Tommy said. “I’ll get Sarah from school, she can stay with me tonight. Go get your girl, Joel.” 

Joel smiled a little. His brother might have more faith in him than he deserved but goddamn, it felt good. 

“Alright,” Joel said. “I’m gonna go get my girl.” 

He went to call you, just in case you unblocked him, but his phone was broken, the entire outer case bent - probably from when one of the cops wrestled him away from your office. He considered, for a minute, just going back to your office but he didn’t want to get arrested again. 

So he went home, just to grab your book. He wasn’t really sure why but he wanted it. He wanted to hold it in his hands, have something solid and yours there with him while he did this. He took a quick look in the mirror, feeling a little like the boy he was when he went to pick you up for prom. Everything felt so consequential, the way his hair fell against his forehead and the way his shirt hung on his body, anything that might help you look at him like he was something worth wanting suddenly vitally important in his reflection. 

“Right,” he said to no one but himself before taking a deep breath. “Now or never.” 

He drove to your house. He thought about getting flowers or something on the way but what if that was too much? What if this wasn’t what you wanted and something like flowers made it worse? Why didn’t he just know what to do? Loving you felt like the most natural thing in the world, why wasn’t telling you just as easy?

He came to your door with nothing but your book in his hands and he was pretty sure you weren’t home but he knocked, anyway. He paced for a minute when you didn’t answer, then stood there, clenching his jaw and staring out at the road like a dumbass before he decided to just sit down and wait because what the fuck else was he going to do. 

After what felt like forever - but probably wasn’t much time at all - Joel opened the book. 

He wasn’t looking for anything in particular but he found himself lingering on the parts where Cressida and Eli were together and, if not happy, at least hopeful. He was reading a passage where they were all tangled up in each other and while it was sensual, the intimacy of it came from the deep knowing and understanding the two shared. It was a feeling, Joel thought, that could only be found in one person. He’d spent half his life searching for it again and never found it and he wanted it, he wanted it so bad it hurt. 

“When you said you read it, I assumed it was the whole thing, not just the first 50 pages.” 

Joel’s head shot up from the book and found you standing on your walk with your house keys in your hand. 

He jumped up, snapping the book shut when he did. 

“I did,” he said. “I was just… I wanted to read it again. Parts of it again.” 

You nodded slowly and walked up to him, stopping close enough that he could reach out and grab you and kiss you if you’d just let him. 

“I tried calling,” you said. “It went straight to voicemail.” 

“Oh, uh,” Joel passed the book from one hand to the other and pulled his phone out, holding it up as proof. “It broke, probably when I got arrested but… well, since you blocked my number, wasn’t too worried about it.” 

You frowned, eyebrows knitting together. 

“Blocked you? I didn’t block you.” 

“Think you did,” Joel laughed a little. “Believe it or not, turning up at your office wasn’t my first choice but I got a message that said your number was unavailable when I called so…” 

Your frown deepened and you pulled out your phone, scrolling on it for a moment before gaping at the screen. 

“Son of a bitch,” you swore. “That…” You looked at Joel again. “I didn’t block you, I’m guessing Gale did sometime in the last few days…” 

“Where is your husband?” Joel asked, looking over your shoulder. “Not gonna let me get another swing on him is he?” 

You laughed once. 

“He’s at the hospital,” you said. “I don’t think he’ll be showing his face here any time too soon.” 

“Good,” Joel said. “You deserve better than that asshole.” 

You smiled tightly. 

“What are you doing here, Joel.” 

“I…” he searched your face for some indication of what you thought, what you wanted, but even though he knew your face better than any other he couldn’t seem to read you. “I needed to see you, I had to see you, baby, I…” 

You bit your lip and he fought the urge to pull it free of your teeth and run his thumb over you there. 

“Let’s go inside,” you said. “We… we can talk. Just talk. If that’s OK.” 

His heart beat a little faster. He could work with that. 

“Yeah,” he said quickly. “Let’s talk.” 

***

Your heart was pounding, so hard and fast you thought Joel must be able to hear it. 

But if he could, he didn’t say anything. You just let the two of you into your house and tried to force yourself to stay calm, to not let your racing thoughts get too far ahead of yourself. 

You hadn’t expected to find him on your front porch when you got home. You’d called him. You’d called the police station again but he’d left by then. You’d even tried going by his house but no one was home and you had this sinking feeling that you’d blown it, somehow. Not that you even knew what ‘it’ was but it seemed as though the moment in your office was a breaking point you didn’t know existed and it was behind you now and there was nothing you could do to get it back. 

And then Joel was there on your porch, a copy of your book in his hands, one that he was reading so intently he hadn’t even noticed you drive up. 

You hung your bag on a hook and put your keys in the dish by the door and Joel followed behind you, his eyes intent enough on you that you could feel them even at your back. 

“Can I get you a drink or anything?” You asked, more for something to say than anything else because what the fuck were your supposed to say in this situation? 

“Not here for a drink, Goldie.” 

“OK,” you said, turning to face him as you stood in the middle of your living room because sitting down felt too strange. You crossed your arms over your chest to keep from touching him. “Why are you here, Joel?” 

“I read your book,” he said quickly. “And I know it took me long enough but I just couldn’t… I thought it was gonna be about you and that fucking guy but it wasn’t and… Goldie, I need to know if it was about us.” 

Your fingers dug into your arms as you tightened your grip on yourself, your stomach churning. 

“What does it matter if it was?” You asked. “I didn’t need to ask your permission to write about my own life, that’s not how that works and…” 

“No, Jesus,” he cut you off. “I… I don’t care, you can write about whatever you want with me but Goldie, is this how you felt? Back then, when we were kids, was this -” he held up the book “-how you felt?” 

You frowned and looked at the book. It was signed, your signature broad and looping on the dust jacket. 

“Where did you get that?” You asked. “I never signed a copy for you…” 

He lowered the book, looking at the cover for a moment before looking back at you.

“I bought it online,” he said. “Some charity auction thing, years ago. I… I wanted a copy that felt more like it came from you. Stop changing the subject, please, and just… we have to actually fucking talk about this, baby, we can’t keep avoiding it forever because it hurts. Please. It’ll wreck us both.” 

“Yes, OK?” You said, louder and more forcefully than you’d really meant to and you had to take a breath to calm down, closing your eyes because you weren’t sure you could look at him and admit this. “Yes, that… that’s how I felt.” 

“Goldie…” 

“Please don’t make this a thing, Joel,” you said, looking toward your windows because anywhere was better than looking at him. “Please don’t.” 

But he didn’t let you turn away from him. Instead, he closed the small gap between you and took your face firmly in his large hand, his grip on you tight. 

“Goldie,” he said softly. “Look at me.” 

You steeled yourself and obeyed, tears already starting to build and you tried to hold them back as best you could. 

“Do you still feel that way?” He asked quietly. 

“Don’t do this to me, Joel,” you whispered. “Please.” 

“Don’t do what?” He asked, his eyes tracing your face again and again. 

“Don’t ask me to…” you took a deep, shaky breath. “Don’t ask me to be the one to ruin everything. I can’t…” 

“I love you,” he cut you off. “There, now it ain’t you, it’s me.” 

“Joel…” 

“I love you,” he said it again. “I’ll keep saying it, I don’t care. I love you. I loved you then, too, and…” 

You pulled yourself away from him, shaking your head, desperate for some distance. It didn’t make sense, none of this made sense. 

“Don’t do that, don’t lie to me because you feel guilty or whatever,” you said, tears falling now. “I know how you felt, Joel, I heard you. If… if things changed, then… then maybe we can… I don’t know, but don’t lie and tell me that I was anything to you back then, alright? I know it was forever ago now, I know we were kids, but it still hurts, OK? It hurts, it hurts every fucking time I look at you but I just keep living with it because you’re worth it to me and-”

He grabbed you and kissed you then, harsh and rough and forceful and your body bowed to his instinctively, curving and arching into his touch, kissing him back desperately before you remembered what you were doing here and pulled back from him. Your eyes were wide, lips swollen, cheeks wet and Joel was panting for breath, watching you. 

“Don’t do that!” You shook his hands from you and wiped your mouth with the back of your wrist. “Stop trying to distract me, stop treating me like I’m just some girl you fuck, just stop!” 

“That’s not what I’m doin’, baby,” he said. His voice was calm, sure. “Swear I’m not.” 

“Then what were you doing in your kitchen?” You demanded, trying to make yourself calm down and failing. “After Sarah’s party, what were you doing then?” 

Joel looked like he was trying not to smile. 

“What!” You demanded. 

“You love me, too,” he said. 

“Joel.” 

“S’why you’re all worked up,” he said. “I love you and you love me, too. I’ll feel better when you actually say it, but…” 

You shook your head, your heart beating a frantic rhythm against your ribs. 

“You’re being mean,” you said. 

“I’m not trying to be,” he said. “I love you.” 

“Stop saying that.” 

“No,” he said. “I love you.” 

“Then why would you do that?” You cried. “Why did you treat me like I was just… just…” 

“Just what, baby.” 

“Just a warm body!” You said. 

“Baby…” 

“That’s what it felt like!” You kept going, on a tear now. “That’s what it felt like back then when you avoided me and you told your friend how it would have been better if you’d fucked anyone besides me, that’s what it felt like every time you avoided me because you caved to whatever baser instinct you had and touched me a few months ago, that’s what it felt like when you practically fucked me in your kitchen and made it sound like all we were to each other was some way to get off and that might be true for you, Joel, but it was never that way for me! 

“And it’s pathetic! Because when we were kids, I felt so bad for all the girls you’d fuck and leave. I pitied them! I thought they were so desperate and sad and then I turned into one of them! And I… I just…” 

“Just what,” Joel said softly. 

“I just…” your voice broke and your eyes met his. “I can’t be nothing to you, Joel. I can’t.” 

“Oh baby,” he said, so gently. He delicately took your face in his hands and dried your tears, thumbs curving over the arch of your cheekbones. “You’re everything.” 

You rolled your eyes and looked away, scoffing.

“Joel…” 

“You gonna let me talk for a minute?” He asked, brows raised, his hands moving to your shoulders. “Because I think we need to.” 

You sniffed and gritted your teeth for a moment but you nodded, anyway. 

“Well, you’re a lot smarter than me but you’re wrong about a lot,” he said. You opened your mouth to protest but he gave you a look and you closed it again and he smiled a little. “Thank you. Promise I’ll let you yell at me once this is all out, alright?” 

You just sniffled and nodded again. 

“I have loved you since that day on the football field almost 20 goddamn years ago,” he said. Your heart beat faster. “Pretty sure the first time I saw you holdin’ that damn gold notebook of yours I was a goner. I was just… I was young and dumb - still pretty dumb to be honest…” 

“Shut up,” you shoved him lightly. “You’re not dumb.” 

“No, I am,” he said. “Because I let my fear and my insecurity keep me from telling you all of this years ago. You were so smart and talented and driven and even then, I knew you were going to be something. Figured there wasn’t a chance in hell that you’d want someone like me so why would I try. All I’d do was fuck up what we had. But then prom happened and I panicked.” 

“You said anyone would have been better than me,” you said softly, searching his face for some sign that he was sugar coating this in some way. “I heard you…” 

“I know,” he said. “I didn’t know you’d heard me then but I know what I said. Took me a while to remember it after you told me but I did and… Look, I know… I know you think I was sleeping with those girls back in high school but… I wasn’t.” 

You frowned. 

“What?” 

“Prom night…” he sighed, wincing a little as he did. “That… that was my first time, too.” 

You looked at him like you were waiting for a punch line but none came. 

“But…” you shook your head. “You… You dated all those girls then and…” 

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Yeah, I was tryin’ to get my best friend out of my system. Didn’t work so well for me in the end and then all I really had going for me was that you thought I was cool and when you assumed I was sleeping with those girls I just… didn’t tell you you were wrong.” 

“What does that have to do with anything?” You were so close to him you were sure he could hear your heart racing. 

“Well, that meant that I didn’t know anything about sex besides porn and the bullshit they taught us in school,” he said. “So I went to talk to Ricky because I thought he’d actually know how to handle that shit and tell me how to handle it and… I was afraid, baby. I was afraid I got you pregnant, that I ruined your life and that’s why I said it. I didn’t want to fuck things up for you, I didn’t want to trap you with me when you deserved so much better than that. It wasn’t because I didn’t want you and it wasn’t because I didn’t love you. It’s because I loved you so goddamn much that I freaked out at just the thought of fucking your life up.” 

“Joel,” you whispered, your heart racing. 

“I never thought you’d just leave like that,” he said. “I thought… I thought I’d be able to talk to you, once I had a plan, once I knew I could make it all OK, once I stopped freaking the fuck out, I thought we could talk and figure it out.”

You just stared at him, open mouthed, for a moment. 

“I…” you managed eventually. “I didn’t…” 

“I know,” he said softly, gently. 

“I thought you didn’t care about me,” you said, almost choking on the knot in your throat. “I… I thought you saw me as some stupid, geeky girl who you just… I don’t know, got stuck with one day and I couldn’t… I couldn’t face that so I left, I went to school early and…” 

“I know,” he said again before he laughed once, darkly. “I know. I… I went to find you.” 

“What?” You asked. 

“Back then,” he said. “Eventually wore Anna down, she told me where you went and… well… I went to find you. Talk to you. Didn’t think you’d just pick up if I called your new number, figured you couldn’t ignore me if I showed up.” 

“But,” you frowned. “I’d remember you coming to Brown…” 

“I’m sure you would,” he nodded. “But you never saw me. I saw you, though. You were with him. I couldn’t take that, either, so I left.” 

“Oh my God,” you whispered, your eyes searching his, so open and honest. “You loved me.” 

He smiled a little, one of his crooked smiles, just enough to make his cheek dimple. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I loved you with your weirdly good breakfast sandwiches and too much cream in your coffee and your smart-ass movie commentary and your obsession with dippin’ French fries in Blizzards - which is still an abomination, by the way.” 

You laughed wetly. 

“Joel,” your hands found his waist, fingers tightening in his shirt. 

“Never stopped loving you, baby,” he said, taking your face gently in his hand. “Not since the day I met you, not for one second. Figured I was kind of a lost cause in that department, after a while. Thought I’d have to settle for whatever little piece of you you’d give me but now… well, now I’m hopin’ that book means you feel the same way.” 

You couldn’t seem to find your voice so you just nodded, fast and sure and he laughed, sounding almost giddy, before he smiled, big and broad and all encompassing, like you’d just given him the world. 

“Think I can try somethin’ I’ve been wanting to do for about 20 damn years?” He asked. You just nodded, still speechless, and Joel stepped closer to you, closing what little gap there was between your bodies. The hand not against your cheek went to the small of your back and he cradled you to him, his eyes searching yours, his nose brushing your own. You could feel every line of his body against your own and your breath hitched, his gaze locked on yours until the last second, your eyes closing just as your lips met. 

You’d kissed Joel plenty before, more times than you could possibly count, but it had never been like this. Every other time your lips had touched his, it had been with some pretense attached - because he was rescuing you from your shitty husband or to make you feel better about being alone on New Year’s or as the build up toward some physical release. You’d never gotten to kiss him because you loved him, you’d never gotten to kiss him because he loved you. 

It was slow, gentle, patient, like you had all the time in the world instead carrying the undertones of something illicit. He was soft and warm, his hands against you like you were a delicate, precious thing. Your lips moved with his, your mouth opening along with his, just enough that you could taste him, breathe him, feel some part of him settle inside of you with a grounding certainty. He loved you. Joel loved you. 

Your arms looped around behind him, holding him close but not too tight - you knew he wasn’t going anywhere, not this time - and you kissed him the way you always wanted to kiss the love of your life. 

Eventually, breathlessly, you pulled away from each other, just enough to look into each other’s eyes again before you both laughed a little, bodies still pressed close. 

“That’s been a long time comin’ baby,” he said.

“Yeah,” you said softly. “It really has.” 

“Think I can take you to bed?” He asked. “Think we have some lost time to make up for.” 

You just smiled and laced your fingers with his before leading your best friend to your room. 

A/N: I sincerely hope the end of this chapter wasn't a let down! I'd originally intended for them to sleep together in the same chapter as the confession but SO MUCH got laid on the table here it felt like adding their first time having honest, loving sex would be too much all at once, you know? But that is coming up next, I promise.

Special shout out to @dancingtotuyo, @dundienominee and @mysticnightmarewrites for helping me figure out how to close this chapter.

Hopefully, this conversation was at least somewhat worth the wait! Thank you for still being here, a small eternity after I started writing this story. I really do love you all so much!

Taglist: @kaseyconnour

[fluffyficsanddreams]

Softening

A/N: AAA YAY POOLVERINE!! i absolutely adore these two and have wanted to write them for months now, just now getting around to it. i really want to get into writing consistently again, so i hope there'll be more soon (i really wanna write one with Logan and Laura, so we'll see if i get around to that) <3

Summary: Wade learns about the best way to comfort a Logan stuck in his mind, and also learns that Logan doesn't mind said comfort very much.

this is a sfw tickle fic and features implied romantic Wade/Logan, plus a decent amount of language. if you don't like it, don't read it. 🫶

also spoilers for the movie lol

Logan was tired.

Okay, tired was a very very large understatement. He was absolutely exhausted.

Now, granted, he wasn't nearly as exhausted as he had been before a certain merc showed up at the bar and dragged him on the weirdest journey of his entire 200-year-long existence. Wade was actually a good person at heart underneath his constant quips and innuendos, and was now someone that Logan considered a good friend (perhaps he felt something more, but he hadn't decided on that yet.)

But right now, he didn't feel like debating on his feelings about Wade. His mind was filled with memories that he'd tried so desperately to bury and forget, memories of those he had once cared for, those that had died because of his negligence.

He leaned back against the couch cushions in the living room of Wade's apartment, taking another swig of the alcohol from the bottle in his hand, trying to drink his feelings away as he had done since the incident.

Wade, however, was not going to allow that to happen.

The merc walked into the room in a Hello Kitty t-shirt and shorts, carrying his best-dog-buddy in his arms. He let out a slight huff at the sight of Logan chugging booze like there was no tomorrow, setting Dogpool down on her overly-large dog bed.

"Hey, peanut, put down the bottle for at least two seconds, would you?" He asked with an undertone of sarcasm, walking over and flopping down onto the couch next to him, just slightly too close as usual.

Logan, not exactly being in the mood to deal with Wade's jokes and nonstop rambling, ignored him for a second to take another sip. "I don't feel like puttin' up with you right now. Go away, I needa be alone." He grumbled, gazing down at nothing in particular, his expression contorted with irritation and suppressed emotion.

Wade, of course, didn't listen. He was able to read the other mutant very easily by now—it wasn't like Logan bothered to hide it very much, anyway, so it didn't take much to see that he was being weighed down by something. Despite his tendency to turn everything into a joke, he knew when something was important.

Although he knew that the grumpy man usually didn't allow Wade to touch him, he reached out and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, inwardly celebrating when Logan allowed it to stay there. "Hey, what's on your mind?"

Logan didn't answer at first, having a mental battle with himself within his head. He trusted Wade, genuinely, but sharing his thoughts and feelings was something he'd never been good at. Pushing people away was what he was good at.

But... look where that had gotten him last time.

Deciding that he would have to do this eventually anyway, he let out a sigh before speaking up in a grumble.

"I jus'... miss 'em. I wasn't there to protect 'em, and now..."

Logan's voice trailed off, his gaze troubled as he avoided looking at his roommate. He felt pathetic, talking about this—it was something he'd only shared with a couple people (one of which was manipulating him), but... for some reason, he found himself trusting Wade with it, despite the fact that he was the most annoying person he'd ever known.

Wade, on the other hand, didn't think it was pathetic in the slightest. He was absolutely thrilled that Logan was being so vulnerable with him, and he wasn't about to let it go to waste. Besides, he understood how he felt, in a way—not protecting the ones you love, and feeling the guilt destroy you from the inside out.

The merc leaned forward so that he was in Logan's line of vision, offering him a small smile.

"Thanks for telling me, peanut. Really. I'm sorry about all that."

Wade said, nodding his chin a little. He hadn't been this genuine or sincere with Logan since their talk before the whole creating-a-matter-antimatter-circuit extravaganza.

But, of course, he was still Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth.

"Come on, bud, I gotta get you to cheer up a bit. Ya can't brood forever, as hot as you look doing it." He joked, giving Logan a light poke to the side, trying to get him to loosen up a little. He did not, however, expect the reaction that the poke got him.

Logan flinched at the unexpected poke, his eyes widening briefly, drawing in a quick breath at the sensation. He hadn't felt that in so many years, and... fuck.

Wade was definitely not going to let this go.

A shit-eating grin spread across the mischevious Deadpool's face, multiple thoughts popping into his mind, but one was able to be heard above all—Logan was ticklish.

"Actually, Wolvie, I think I have the perfect idea to help you cheer up..." Wade said slowly, leaning closer and closer to his now inwardly panicking friend-maybe-more.

Logan was definitely not about to let himself get tickled of all things by the most insane person he'd ever met, for he knew that Wade would take forever to drop it.

The man shifted uneasily toward the arm of the couch, scooting backward and keeping an eye on his roommate at all times. "Absolutely not, motherfucker. You better not touch me or I swear to god I'll—AHCK!"

Logan's threat (that he didn't really actually mean) was cut off as Wade tackled him down, pinning him to the couch and straddling his thighs so that he couldn't go anywhere. The merc grinned like a Cheshire cat, a few fantasies playing out in his head now that he had the Wolverine pinned underneath him—

Nope, we're not going there. Besides, Wade had different plans right now.

He placed his hands on Logan's abdomen, just resting them there for now, smiling broadly as he felt the mutant tense up underneath his touch.

"Ooh, I didn't peg you to be the sensitive type, but you learn something new every day, huh? Now, let's see here. Since Marvel Jesus is merciful, I'm gonna let you pick out a safeword! Whaddya think of that, peanut? What do you want it to be?"

Logan felt his sanity slowly deteriorating as Wade blabbered on and on, and frankly, he didn't really know what the fuck he was even talking about (although he'd gotten used to that by now.) He was currently clenching his fists at his sides, using every last ounce of self control he had to not stab Wade through his arms.

"The only reason I'm not cuttin' your fucking hands off right now is because Althea doesn't want blood gettin' everywhere. Get the fuck offa me and find someone else to bother." Logan snarled up at Wade, shooting him a glare sharper than a piece of shrapnel—but, of course, Deadpool was not deterred in the slightest. In fact, Logan's mild panic masked by anger only egged him on further.

"Well, that isn't a safeword, is it? I guess you're just gonna have to go without. Sorry not sorry!"

Wade declared with a joyous smile, curling his fingers and starting to scribble up and down both of Logan's sides over his shirt, his fingertips climbing up to his ribcage and digging into the muscles there. Being the dexterous mercenary he was, quick movements like this were a piece of cake for him—and came in handy when tickling, apparently.

However, it proved to be a death sentence for Logan.

The Wolverine was now squirming and bending away from Wade's hands as much as possible, although that didn't exactly prove helpful, considering his currently pinned position. His lips were stubbornly clamped shut, forcing back the laughs that he felt were quickly bubbling up in his chest.

"Fuckin' piece of—grrrgghh! Wilson! I'm gonna—" Logan began to threaten through clenched teeth, falling silent again when he realized he was growing closer and closer to breaking with every word. He hadn't been tickled in literal decades, and he found himself reacting to the feeling way more than he expected.

The thing was, he had long ago grown accustomed to violence and an otherwise lack of physical touch in his life. The only times he was touched was when he was fighting, in danger, things along those same lines of violence. To be touched in a gentle way at all felt incredibly foreign, and he frankly didn't know how to feel about it. The idea that he wasn't in danger, and that he could allow this to happen without any harm to anything aside from maybe his ego, was a surprisingly comforting thought.

That thought sort of helped (or hindered, depending on how you looked at it) Logan loosen up a little, and caused him to break a little sooner than he would normally have allowed himself to—especially when Wade's mischevious fingers crawled their way up to his upper ribs, near to his underarms.

"Pfffuhuhuhuck! Dahahamnit, you dihihick! Stahahap it!"

In that moment, Wade definitely fell in love. Whether it was with Logan himself or his laughter, he didn't know. What he did know was that he needed to do this more often.

"Aww, listen to those sweet little laughs! C'mon, Logie, I know you've got more in you! I think I've just gotta find the right spot, huh? Wanna tell me where that is?"

"Fuhuhuck yohou!"

"Now, while that does sound quite enticing, I'm afraid that's not what we're doing right now. If you're gonna be a stubborn little asshole, I guess I'm just gonna have to find that spot myself. How terrible..." Wade beamed, his expression filled with pure glee.

So, now, Wade went on a new mission: find Logan's worst spots and then proceed to exploit the shit out of them. The mischevious merc's fingers crawled up from Logan's upper ribs into his underarms, digging his wiggling digits deep into the soft muscle.

Logan let out a loud snort before dissolving into wheezy laughter, clamping his large arms to his sides reflexively while simultaneously punching and smacking at his roommate's arms in a feeble attempt to get him to stop.

"Wihihihilsohohon! Gehehet the fuhuhuhuck out of thehehere, ya mohohohoron!" He managed to snort out, hating himself for being unable to hold back the wide grin he knew was on his face at the moment.

Wade cocked his head to the side, his devilish grin widening even further. "Oh, not there, huh? That's okay, I've got plenty of other options here..."

After giving one last scribble to Logan's underarms for good measure, Wade brought his hands down to those stupidly attractive abs that he was hiding underneath that shirt, kneading them with both hands on either side while drilling his thumbs into the flesh around his navel.

Yet another snort was ripped from Logan's throat before he erupted into a fit of hearty laughter, the sound a little more wild and frantic than it was a second ago. Of course Wade had managed to find the spot that practically made him explode as soon as it was touched.

Except, as he writhed around underneath his roommate, another thought occurred to him amidst his persistent giggling. He didn't really mind this as much as he thought he would. In fact, he found himself secretly enjoying it, in a sense. It allowed him to let go, giving him a reason to laugh, which was something that Wade said he didn't do nearly enough. Perhaps he should take his advice, just this once.

However, Logan was forcibly ripped out of his thoughts when he felt Wade's hands sneaking their way underneath his shirt, pushing it up before he began scratching at his abdomen rather than kneading.

"Ooh, now I can really get in here. Look at those gorgeous abs, how could you possibly go around hiding these?" Wade beamed, admiring his muscles as he kept up his attack.

Logan, meanwhile, was laughing so hard he could barely form thoughts, pounding his heels against the couch cushions while he grasped desperately at Wade's wrists, trying to wrench his hands away from his stomach—but the mercenary was freakishly strong.

"WahahAHAhade! You're suhuhuch a—ahahEEK! Fuhuhuhuuuck, nohohot thehere!"

Logan had been about to threaten Wade with the usual decapitation (which he never meant), but it had been cut off by his own squeal when Wade's finger dug right into his navel. He was losing his mind by now, and he wasn’t sure how much more laughing he could muster. The answer was a lot, but he didn't know that.

He was probably about to find out, though, because Wade had yet another mischievous idea. It seemed he was never short of those, and Logan was often the person who ended up the victim... see the pattern?

The merc leaned forward to get a better look at Logan's smiling, red face, a smile of his own spreading across his features. It was devilish, but it had a bit of genuine warmth behind it—this was the first time he'd ever seen Logan smile so much, and he looked so relaxed, even if he was laughing his ass off. He definitely wasn't going to let this opportunity go to waste.

And so, he set his idea in motion, even though he knew he probably would get stabbed for it. (It wasn't like he hadn't gotten stabbed by Logan a million times already, what was one more?)

"Y'know, Wolvie, I'm feeling a little hungry. Whaddya say I just take a big ol' bite of these sexy abs?"

Logan didn't even know what the hell Wade was talking about, but he barely had time to process his question before his insane roommate came forward and planted his mouth right above his navel, nibbling at his skin—not nearly hard enough to hurt, but definitely enough to tickle the poor guy out of his mind.

Logan let out a shriek he didn't even know he was capable of producing, the wildest laughter ever exploding from his chest, snorts and squeals erupting from him in between—much to his own dismay. Wade, however, didn't think it was as bad as Logan did. In fact, he found it adorable more than anything else.

He wished he could hear Logan laugh like this more often—he was always so tense, never able to relax fully due to his own mind. If Wade was able to take his mind off of the thoughts that plagued him, even if for just a few minutes through something as silly as tickling, he would definitely do it.

...Which was why he continued to nibble at Logan's abs, making exaggerated eating noises as he did so, loud "OMNOMNOMNOM"s filling the space in the room that wasn't already filled with Logan's hysterical laughter.

"Ahahahahaa, Wahade, for fuck's sahahAHAke! Thahahahat's enoUGH! Seriously! Pleheheheheeeease!"

Wade blinked, pulling back for just a second to make a theatrical flabbergasted expression down at Logan.

"Do my ears decieve me? Was that... dare I say it... a 'please'?! You're begging? Oh, man, I must be dreaming. I'd ask you to pinch me, but seeing as you can't right now, I think I'll just pinch you instead."

Wade didn't give Logan time to process the blabbering that was coming out of his mouth before he started pinching at the mutant's ribs, going one at a time as he slowly made his way upward, leaning forward again to nibble at his abdomen simultaneously. Logan lost his shit, between the little pinches that tickled way more than he thought it would and the unbearable nibbling of his ridiculously ticklish stomach, he was going insane.

"Ehehehahahah—c'mohOHOhon! Stahahap it, no mohohohORE!" Logan managed through his hysterical laughter, slapping at Wade's arms, seemingly endless snorts being torn from his throat every few seconds due to how hard and how much he was laughing. His roommate simply smiled down at him and continued, expression filled with glee and pure delight.

"No can do, honey badger. This fic still isn't long enough, so I've gotta do a little more... unless I stop now and we hug it out for a few paragraphs..."

"Hehehell no, fuhuHUcker!"

"Well, then it seems like you're just gonna be stuck here for a while longer. Such a shame—y'know, I wonder how often I can do this without you stabbing me. Does daily sound good to you? I think that sounds wonderful, I wanna hear your cute little piggy snorts—"

Logan felt a burning warmth rising up his cheeks and at the tips of his ears at Wade's words, managing an annoyed (embarrassed) groan through his giggles, which were growing louder and more frantic as Wade made his way back up toward his armpits.

"Shuhuhut uhuhup! Gohod, I hahahahate you..." He retorted, letting out a squeak when Wade give a firm prod to his underarm in response.

"Now, now, my little honey pie, I know for a fact that's not true. People who hold hands while listening to Madonna can't hate each other. See, your problem is—AACK!"

Wade had been about to dive into a deeply comprehensive list about the reasons why Logan could never possibly hate him when he was promptly bucked off and onto the floor, rubbing at his head as he picked himself up. He was about to pounce on Logan and attack him with revenge tickles for throwing him off when the sight before him made his heart melt into mush.

The feral man was lying on back still, a smile still on his lips, a red color having bloomed across his cheeks, spreading up to his ears and down his neck. There was a sparkle in his tired eyes that hadn't been there previously, his hair all messed up from how much he'd been squirming.

Honestly, Wade thought it was adorable.

The merc sat down on the edge of the couch next to the still-panting Logan and gave him a little smile and tilt of his head, deciding to keep all his quips to himself for the moment.

"Feeling better, peanut?"

When Wade asked that question, Logan blinked and realized that yes, actually, he did feel better. A lot better, at that. He didn't think something so stupid could manage to take his mind completely off of what had been haunting him, but... he wasn't really complaining.

He sat up and tried to regain his bearings, pushing his shirt back down and running a hand through his hair, gazing down at his lap for a few moments before he looked over at Wade, not holding eye contact with him for longer than a few seconds.

"Uh... yeah. Um... thanks. For that. I didn't realize I needed it, but... you seem to know me better than I do." Logan said quietly, letting out a slight huff of air as a lopsided smirk made its way to his face.

Wade smiled at him, simply giving him a nod of acknowledgment for his thanks. Honestly, he didn't need to thank him—he would so tickle the shit out of him every day if Logan let him, which he wouldn't, but hey, a man can dream!

He wrapped one arm around Logan's shoulders, expecting the former X-Man to push him away, but found himself surprised when he didn't. He gave another internal celebration before he pulled him close to his side, giving friendly pats to his shoulder (this was probably about the non-gayest thing they'd ever done: the bro side-hug.)

"Anytime, peanut. Cures something in my soul to see ya smile, really, so I'd do it again."

Logan shivered a little at that idea, instead opting to just not think about it and instead relaxing into the gentle physical contact that Wade was slowly training him to become more used to. Hesitantly, after a few moments, he rested his head on his roommate's shoulder, expecting to be poked fun at for his action.

However, the silence that followed genuinely surprised him. Wade was too busy being completely enamored with Logan and how vulnerable he was allowing himself to be right now to say anything for once.

After a long while of silence, Logan was considering letting himself drift off here since the after effects of the tickle session Wade had put him through was hitting him, but the merc broke the silence before he could do so.

"...So we did end up hugging it out for a few paragraphs."

"Motherfucker—!"

[cyanrendipity]

#youre correct op but also#nononono i think kabru could Absolutely catch kira#like . gestures to kabru deducing laois’s party being the ones to help them each time(? i may be misremembering)#and how he reads laois as not being Malicious when they thought each helpful encounters were thefts#actually having kabru and light meet would be really funny because its kind of like a mirror?#not exactly of course if it was then i wouldnt like kabru as nearly as much as i do#but its like. putting up personas to get info out of others (Maybe i am so sorry kabru. but thats true for light)#the internal monologues. trying to get into the mindset of whos around them. like on the surface level i feel like light and kabru would ac#t Exactly like each other first meeting- humble but smart and.. not nice but. well-rounded#the only trouble kabru would have would be proving it probably. but at the same time i feel like he could figure something out yknow?#i also wonder how he would feel about the kira case? like hes definitely killed people in the dungeon for crossing him and his team but he#seems to generally want to keep innocent lives.. alive. gestures to the utaya incident#would he think that the killings are deserved or would he think its Too Much- kira crossing a line in a way#its been awhile since ive read dungeon meshi so i . sont know#also to any kabru fans if i misinterpreted him please correct me. i enjoy kabru greatly its just been a While

You come over here, you. You get it (It's me op, reblogging here cause I got shy about rambling about death note) anyway

THEY ARE SIMILAR IN A SENSE BUT ALSO COMPLETE OPPOSITES

Both of them are "willing to crack some eggs" for the "greater good" but there's a massive difference in what this greater good is! For Kabru it is to stop a massive tragedy from happening again, he believes adventurers should be working towards stopping something like Utaya from repeating, he wants to find the truth about Dungeons and whoever is acting in self interest like the corpse retrievers is an obstacle he's willing to get over. For Light the "greater good" is "creating a world for people who deserve it" for Light there's objectively people with more worth and less worth than others, and he thinks of himself as the best person to judge who is who.

One of them is willing to sacrifice people to stop an immense tragedy from happening again the other one is willing to sacrifices people cause he feels like it's his right to do so! They're not the same!

Light hates humans even before he becomes Kira he would never do what Kabru does to save them, everything he says about creating a new world for good people is bullshit he spews for his own ego U_U

Kabru would be able to realize the hypocrisy of Kira right away like L and realize it's dangerous for someone like him to have that power (perhaps he would realize it would be dangerous even for himself to wield it, similar to being a dungeon lord)

Anyway like these replies said, Kabru would def make the Kira killings stop if he found Light, I wont count is as catching him tho, eliminating is not the same thing, bad Kabru, play by the rules (<3)

(oh yeah the difference is that "solving" the Kira case means proving it, I think that's harder than just knowing Light is Kira and dealing with him outside justice)

Now would Kabru be able to catch Kira? Probably not, but can you imagine? The amount of silent staring while thinking in actual death note is nothing compared to what that could be

[mscherub]

Hello! This was, and is originally posted on my Ao3, but I’m gonna bring it over here for other ppl to read, cause why not?

Courting with Floyd (Floyd Leech x Reader)

Gender neutral reader, referred to as perfect and or Y/N, I honestly forgot :/ LOL

(Possible?) Warnings:

swearing(I have a sailors mouth and it makes its way into my writing)

Mention of a tooth

Uneducated reader on merfolk courting rituals

Probs grammatical errors and or spelling, or both, knowing me—

Word count: approximately 2.4K

How long has it been since Floyd has been acting weird? Well, I mean he always was weird to begin with, but now? Yea, totally different! He seemed more calm around you which—shockingly—is not like him. Was he ok? Where’d the sinister maniacal eel boy go? Figuring Jade would know better about his own brother, you went to him first just to ask, but, as expected, Jade was no help, simply smirking at you and basically telling you “tough luck.” I mean, Floyd, Floyd, was starting to be nice to you. Always finding a reason to be with you, always finding a reason to annoy hang out with you. Granted he did that before, but not as much. You weren’t thattt interesting. You were basic looking at best in his opinion(rude…), you caused a lot of trouble(ok, that’s fun…), and you did make everything twice as exciting when around so…ehhhh, maybe you were more interesting than he gave you credit for. But now? He’s going all out just to be closer it seems, and it’s unnerving.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Shrimpyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…ne ne, heyyyyyyy. Lookie lookie! Loooook!!! Shrimpy?” Floyd pouted and poked your cheek.

You were in the library, minding your business studying. Grim was off with Ace and Deuce so you got a moment alone, even just for a few minutes, but of course it was ruined already…

“Huh? I’m trying to study here…” you reply. Honestly why did trouble always find you? And more importantly why did the cause of it get blamed on you and—

“Booooringgg…hey hey, shrimpy~” he flashes you that signature toothy grin, pulling you out of your inner monologue. “I have something more fun in mind, yea? Come with me~” he doesn’t give you any time to even respond and yanks you up from your seat. You begrudgingly follow along behind him, trying to pull your arm away from his grip, but to no luck. The fuck did this guy eat to be so damn strong?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After going about campus for who knows how long, precious study time replaced by scaring and robbing people on Azul’s special blacklist…Floyd drags you under a tree in the botanical gardens. He hums a tune softly as he kicks at rocks in the grass…he’s out of toys to play with now and I guess you’re the only option, right?

“Heyyyyyy, Shrimpy! Tell me a story from your world.” you’re pulled from your thoughts again and look over at him as he leans against the tree and slumps down to the ground. He looks up at you expectantly. You sigh and sit down next to him, backs against the trees.

“What do you wanna hear?” You hum as your eyes find their way to a group of butterflies fluttering around a small patch of flowers.

“Something cool. Hmmmm…oh! How ‘bout something about the oceans in your world? You have em, yea?” He sighs, gently bumping the back of his head against the tree

“Yea, my world has oceans, but I dunno. We have like maybe 5% explored? A lot of fish I guess…not much different from yours in a sense besides that merfolk don’t exist.” you murmur. What else was there really to say? You exactly weren’t a marine biologist before ending up here.

Floyd goes quiet and lets out a scoff of disbelief, his eyes widening

“Huh…your world sounds boring shrimpy…no other eel merfolk then?” He waits for your reply. Why did he care about that

“Uh…no. Not any merfolk at all…and I guess it is kinda boring. But hey, it’s home.” you retort. Floyd simply grins and moves his face closer to yours. You glare at him confused. You could be studying right now, you could be reading up on whatever topic Trein assigned, but no! You were bullshitting around with probably one of the top most deadliest students in the entire school, and that’s without the use of magic. But Floyd doesn’t do anything sinister, instead he pulls something from his blazer pocket and drops it in your lap…what the—a pearl?

“Uh—“

“Pretty, huh? Just like your eyes, or whatever. Anyways…I’m bored, and ‘Zul’s probably got some spiel for me when I get back…gotta beat him to the lounge.” Floyd hoists himself up and looks down at you, waving his hand. “Later, shrimpy-Chan~” he grins again. His eyes have a weird glint to them today.

He whistles as he walks off, leaving you alone to ponder, again…ok…what the fuck just happened?

Things didn’t exactly add up. Was he trying to trick you…did he just give you a gift, for free!? Uh, hello? Not Floyd like, not Octivanelle student like at all! Something was fishy, and no pun intended, but what the actual fuck? Ok, thinking logically, maybe you did something that benefited him and he payed you back for it? But what did you do? And also that’s not like Floyd, either? You’re completely and utterly stumped.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Floyd’s behavior only got weirder over the days, and he even uncharacteristically started to give more gifts to you…one being the tooth of who knows who’s. You’ve asked him about it and it’s the same reply each time:

“Just felt like it. Bye now!” —or something like that…gave you something pretty, which was always usually shiny, and then left, leaving you to look at the gift(if you even wanna consider a tooth that then sure) confused.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One evening you’re sitting in Ramshackle dorm, doom scrolling on MagiCam, Grim curled up and passed out beside you on the couch…

Ding!

“The hell?”

A message from Azul pops up and you instinctively click on it.

Azul: “for the love of the seven, please say yes to Floyd already. It’s driving me and my business into turmoil…”

Huh…

Ok, what the hell did he mean by “say yes to Floyd?” What am I saying yes to?

You: “…uh…what?”

Azul: “…”

Azul: “come to the lounge.”

And that’s it. Azul ends the conversation. Weird.

You hoist yourself up and you pat grim on the head to wake him up.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When you and Grim get to the lounge, it’s empty, besides for the disaster playing out…Floyd slumped directly on the floor in the middle of the lounge in his eel form, his tail flicking angrily and smacking against the floor, a pout plastered onto his face. Apparently Azul caught him trying to sneak out again to go to the sea for “presents,” and Azul got fed up. Floyd grumbles and glares over at the door, his eyes soften just a bit when he sees it’s you, but he’s in one of his moods.

“Shrimpy…come’ere…” he mutters. “Tell ‘Zul how dickish he’s being by not letting me go get you another trinket from the sea.”

“Floyd, you’ve been skipping out on working hours—“

Jade chimes in, “To be fair, when doesn’t he?”

Floyd keeps bickering with Azul, leaving you and Grim to just witness the scene unfold before you.

“Henchhuman, we could run right about…now!” Grim murmurs.

“No…” you sigh as you grab his tail before he books it. You could totally take advantage of this, maybe get Azul to make a fair deal with you if you solve whatever is wrong with Floyd…

Jade walks up next to you silently and smiles as he watches.

“You know…my brother has taken quite a liking to you I fear…he would be fairly upset if you were to keep ignoring his advances.” He hums. “Though it is enjoyable to watch him try so hard.”

“What? Jade, no offense but what the hell do you mean?” You side eye him, but Azul calls Jade over to drag Floyd to the pool until he can get him a potion to change him back…Azul is stressed and it’s evident as he takes off his glasses to rub his face. But soon his exasperated expression is replaced by a glare as he makes eye contact with you.

“Perfect, I truly thought you were smart, but in this type of situation, you’re so dense!” Azul huffs.

“Ok, ok, before accusing me of anything else, you mind telling me what’s going on?” You say as you cross your arms.

“You know exactly what’s going on…right?” He mutters.

Azul looks at you, his glare never changing until you can see something click for him. His eyes go a little wide and he looks at you surprised.

Shit…you didn’t know the courting rituals of merfolk, did you? I mean it would only make sense, you were a human, and you weren’t exactly from this world…

“Ah…Perfect. How to explain this—“

“How to explain what?” You sigh.

Azul takes a breath in and puts his glasses back on before continuing.

“I suppose there’s differences in each culture varying from land to sea, and in truth that is what makes them all unique in their own ways…uh—“ he pauses again, rubbing his temples.

“in merfolk culture, those who may be interested in another tend to give gifts as a means of courting. Do you understand that? Need I say more?”

You stare at him blankly, blink a few times, then take a breath in.

“Courting?”

“Courting.” Azul confirms.

“By that you mean Floyd is trying to…trying to get with me? Date me?” You murmur, your eyes widening.

“Precisely.” Azul sighs. “And while I have no problem with that in a sense, you ignoring his advances have caused him to be more—more in a sour mood, lately, more than he usually is, anyways. It’s truly putting a stunt into the business of the lounge due to him working less…it’s cumbersome.” Azul sighs again, longer this time.

You look at Azul, then to Grim who seems even more surprised than you. He looks over at you and looks about ready to cry.

“NOOOOO. HENCHHUMAN NO! NO, NO! YOU WILL NOT NOOOOOOO!” Grim whines, grabbing your arm and shaking you.

“Tell Floyd off, Azul! Ain’t no way my Henchhuman is gonna fall in the grips of that slimy eel!” Grim complains

Azul puts up his hand, shushing Grim.

“That’s not my decision, and you both practically know Floyd as well as I do…and to be fair I don’t exactly know why he’s courting since neither him nor Jade have ever tried in their life, not even back in the coral sea…but, Perfect,” Azul narrows his eyes at you, “don’t make a decision that will ruin my business…” and with that, he leaves you and Grim, slamming the door to the VIP lounge.

“Henchhuman you can’t be considerin’ this! There’s a lot of better guys out there…like Kalim, rich too!”

“Floyd and Jade are pretty rich, too, Grim—“

“And he lives above land, and he has Jamil who makes great food! I think if you’re going for someone go for him.” He interrupts.

“Grimmy, it ain’t just about the money for one…” you sigh.

“YOU’RE CONSIDERING THIS?!” He yells, he looks ready to faint.

Truth was, that as much as you acted like you didn’t like Floyd, you honestly kind of did. For what, though? Hard to tell. Maybe it was his laid back attitude, or maybe it was his looks, though he kinda looked like a gremlin, or maybe you just liked him for, well, him…

Grim is already walking(floating) away, but you let him this time…you’ll find him later, guarantee, probably caught up with some mess he always manages to make. Instead, you take a breath in and walk to where the pools are located.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You push through the double doors to the pool room and you find Floyd swimming in circles, bored mumbling obscenities to himself. You get closer, your footsteps echoing on the tiled floor.

“If it’s you ‘zul, I don’t wanna hear what you have ta say, ain’t gonna change anything, and—“ he looks up and sees you. He stops talking then stops swimming. Slowly, his pout forms into a smirk and he swims over to the edge of the pool.

“Shrimpy~ I knew you’d come…” he gives you a closed eye grin. He hoists himself up out of the pool and sits on the edge, the rest of his tail in the water.

You walk over to him and sit next to him, keeping at least a few feet between you in hopes you don’t get wet.

“Sorry I didn’t notice earlier…I guess?” you murmur. You look at him. His smile doesn’t fade, he moves his face closer to yours. “About the courting or whatever, I mean. Actually, it’s more your fault cause how were you gonna do that to me when I didn’t even know what it meant? Ah, whatever. Guess it’s just good I know now, right?” you tease. Floyd giggles and boops your nose.

“Thought you knew. You seemed smart, but maybe I gave ya too much credit for that, huh?” He teases back.

You nudge him gently with your shoulder, your uniform blazer sticking slightly to his viscous skin…

He smiles and holds out a closed fist to you. You look up at him and furrow your brows, looking at his gesture confused.

He turns his fist and opens it, revealing a pearl necklaces with shiny scales that obviously didn’t belong to him. Now that you understood the implications somewhat of the gifts, you hesitate to take it, but he plops it into the palm or your hand. You clip it around your neck and let out a soft hum as the light glints of the scales.

“It’s pretty,..uh, I guess just like you, thank you?” You murmur. Floyd grins even more and practically pounces on you.

“You’re too cute shrimpy…” he hums, rubbing his cheek against yours. “You get it now, yea? Good…now you gotta do it back…I only like expensive things so—“

“Floyd, let’s just skip that, ok?” You chuckle. “I like you, too…without the gifts you’ve given me, though, they are nice…”

“Hmmm…guess I can see past it just this once…” he sighs. He pulls back a little and grins at you. You look back at him and can’t help but smile.

“Do you know how we seal a courtship?” His smiling never faltering.

“Let me guess, a ki—“

Floyd crashes his lips against yours and shuts you up. A small sound of surprise leaves you. He pulls away and giggles, watching as your face turns bright red.

“Hmmm…now I’m bored, Shrimpy…oh, I know let’s go for swim!”

Oh no.

That’s it for now my lovelies! Also this was my first work on Ao3 and ofc transferring it over here may have messed it up a lot more, so if it’s bad that’s why 💀 (I also can write rlly well some days and others I can’t, weird thing…)

Ao3 link here since I have 3 other works posted on there that aren’t on my Tumblr page quite yet—> https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ms_cherub

Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, repost if you’d want to!

Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)

[xxlady-lunaxx]

sanemi had always memorized his siblings’ birthdays. he knew them by heart, and, every year, did what little he could manage when the days came. for the most part, he found time to bring something to their graves, sitting properly in front of them and laying the things he brought down. but now the year had started again and genya’s birthday made its yearly appearance—right around the beginning of january. he wasn’t dead (thank god), and sanemi couldn’t bring himself to actually celebrate, not in front of genya. so the most he could force himself to do was somehow sneak some money into genya’s pocket when he was sleeping or something along those lines. but the thing was—for some time now, genya had been staying at gyomei’s house. sanemi couldn’t exactly sneak into there without gyomei catching him. also, genya had a bunch of friends now, and they were crowding him today, having heard from gyomei that it was genya’s birthday. therefore: sanemi was stuck.

it took some time, but sanemi managed to squeeze in a quick sparring session with gyomei between his missions, and the two fought as the children chattered happily inside the stone estate. after they finished, sanemi, who had gladly taken advantage of gyomei’s lack of vision, took out the parcel containing genya’s gift. it was just food—ohagi and some matcha tea—so that sanemi could subtly place it somewhere where genya would find it, and it would pass off as a gift from literally anyone. the only trouble he had was writing. he’d had to make sure genya knew it was for him, so he ended up searching for someone who didn’t know him to tell him how to write happy birthday. after he’d successfully scrawled down the characters (who cared how messily they were written?), he stuck it in one of the folds of the wrapped package and brought it with him on his way to the training grounds.

accepting gyomei’s suggestion to get water, after they’d finished training, sanemi slipped inside, scouring the halls for somewhere he could put the gift. for now, he tucked it under his arm, going to get himself some much needed water. as he passed the room with genya and the others, he found the door slightly ajar. peeking through, he squinted, gazing at the clutter of their joy.

likely hearing him, zenitsu, the louder, blond one, turned to the door in question. a bit tired out from the sparring and not necessarily caring if they saw him (since they likely knew he’d been training with gyomei), sanemi allowed himself to be spotted. surprised, zenitsu’s eyes widened and he stiffened. these drew immediate interest to the door, and someone—tanjiro, the bastard—slid it all the way open. sanemi managed to hide the package behind his back as he narrowed his eyes in a glare inclusive to everyone. the group seemed confused, and mildly perturbed by his presence.

“is everything alright, shinazugawa-san?” tanjiro asked curiously, tilting his head.

sanemi grunted, gaze sweeping briefly to genya, who looked increasingly nervous. “sure,” he huffed. “you guys were making so much fucking noise, i’m surprised himejima let you stay.”

“i’m sorry, shinazugawa-san,” kanao murmured, bowing slightly. she had remnants of a sincere smile from earlier left on her expression, and sanemi momentarily noted that, remembering how little she used to express herself. then he wondered what she was doing here, given genya’s inability to be near anyone female for long—before noticing the conspicuous way genya was positioned on the opposite side of the room as her.

“just be quiet,” sanemi allowed, finally. “it’s irritating.”

genya nodded quickly, and the others followed suit. “sorry, aniki,” he mumbled. “we’ll be quieter.”

he seemed to think sanemi didn’t know what they were doing. but, either way, sanemi left the room, shutting the door behind him. his hands were empty now, as he sought out water, and he smiled to himself, much satisfied. he’d managed to slip the gift beside the ones the others had brought, with the minor distraction they’d provided.

gyomei found him, a couple minutes later, and got himself some water.

“you’re leaving now?” gyomei confirmed, and sanemi nodded.

“yep. nice training with you.”

after all, he’d done what he’d set out to—and had gotten some beneficial training in the process. so he sent gyomei a smile he couldn’t see and headed home.

•

as genya opened his presents, the others having had to return to their training, his eyes caught on one in brown wrapping. it was more hastily done than the rest, and he wondered if inosuke had, in fact, given him something. picking it up, he gently tugged out a paper that had been tucked in. written with clumsy lettering were the words “happy birthday.” he was doubtful inosuke had gone and bothered to learn how to write just for his birthday, but he couldn’t think of anyone else who would’ve written like that. the others had pretty good handwriting, if not drawings (cough, tanjiro and the card he’d drawn).

opening the gift, he found ohagi and matcha, all tucked neatly inside. his suspicions of it being from inosuke immediately evaporated and his mind strayed back to when sanemi had interrupted them earlier. a large smile on his face, he bit into one of the mochi balls, his spirits rising where they were already high.

sanemi was truly the best aniki in the world.

[dasketcherz]

oh my god this is SO GOOD omggg crying shaking sobbing eating up every single paragraph, this analysis is so scrumptious and I would like to add more in the discussion cuz this certainly stirred thoughts I had as well about their dynamic so (clears throat)

Hugo's 100% the type of person who would rationalize his emotions rather than just actually let himself feel and process them for what they are in a healthy manner because confronting those raw feelings terrifies him. And so many things factored to him developing this tendency—for 1) he's forced to grow up too soon too fast cuz his situation in life demands it, 2) he loves to figure how things fundamentally work which includes studying people, what makes them tick & how they think & act & behave, etc (a necessity he has to have to navigate his way around his line of work as a con man) and analyzing himself is no exception, so him trying to immediately pin point as to what and why he feels this way about things is him attempting to regain control of himself 3) because to quote his creator, "He doesn't like doing anything that would make him feel like he didn't have control of himself or the situation."—for the longest time he's convinced himself that it's not safe to feel his emotions because it leaves oneself vulnerable and that's the last thing he wants to deal with right now. Especially in the harsh world he lived in, that's like a death wish.

I also 100% agree with Hugo's tendency to call people by nicknames as a means to create and maintain distance from forming any sort of attachment to people. Definitely a defensive mechanism. And it's through his time with team radical, for the first time, did the nicknames he give people turn from distant detachment to genuine affectionate nicknames overtime. (And I love to think Varian got slightly influenced by that and he was the first person to ever call him "Hugh" as an affectionate nickname and it feels hella intimate to Hugo it drives the man crazy lowkey)

"They are both scientists, but one is more afraid of the results than the other."—is a really interesting observation to point out as well. Hugo being afraid of the results that deviates from what's expected speaks so much volume to how when you're working for someone like Donella—there's no room for errors, you don't have the luxury to make mistakes because that risks you of being put on the chopping block of getting replaced in her book—and that's a constant reminder at the back of Hugo's mind that keeps him in line (exactly the way Don wants him to).

And he concluded that deeply liking Varian was a mistake (on top of his issues of dealing with his own feelings like god please help this man), because he knows what's coming, he knows what he has (and is expected by Donnie) to do at the end of the road. He thinks it's wrong to get attached to the team, it's wrong to fall in love with Varian...but it's also wrong to hurt him (and the others) by betraying them, but it's wrong to betray Donella, his lifelong mentor, over team radical too—he feels so stuck, everyfuckingthing feels so wrong and it's eating him alive every day.

I also absolutely love the notion that Varian is the more assertive one between them, he's the one who usually initiates and that really checks out for his character cuz we see that trait in the show from him, yknow... if taking matters into his own hands was anything to go by from s1. Hugo being the more compliant one also makes sense, cuz that approach saved his ass from getting into serious troubles in the past. It's a survival tactic that has been embedded in him really. However, that difference makes them such a good team. Varian develops to be more brave and confident with his experiments because he knows Hugo would be right there to follow through by him—he trusts Hugo like he's his safety net. And in turn, Hugo develops to be okay with relying on others and counting on them when he doesn't have to deal with something alone. Their dynamic builds trust exercise for the two of them and it's oh so beautiful.

And lastly, Varian being the type who wants clear answers really nudges Hugo to be more honest with him and himself, especially when Varian can tell when he's lying or not (cuz two can play that game babey). Hugo's not the best when it comes to communicating himself to others but Varian is very understanding and patient with him and he nurtures the moments when Hugo chooses to be honest because small progress is still progress, especially knowing that the notion can be hard for Hugo who never had a proper support system (outside of Olivia) growing up. Hugo finally has a healthy outlet to process his feelings because he has Varian to help him figure stuff out and vice versa.

Also the way Hugo has always resort to lying and running away (from his problems, from his feelings, from any sort of trouble in life) but for once in his life chooses to stay for Varian because he finally chooses to be honest with himself and accept the truth that he actually genuinely wants to be with him just leaves me screaming and crying and sobbing and dear GOD they're just so perfect for each other, somebody please sedate me right now

I really like analyzing Varigo, one thing I've noticed recently is how different their approach to romance (and human connections in general) really is, but also how they're pretty much the perfect foils in this regard.

Varian grew up sheltered away in their mansion. He didn't have much clue about socializing, so when Rapunzel came to him, he gives all of them proper respect (calling Rapunzel "Princess", Eugene "Flynn Rider", as in the full name). You could assume it's because of his dad; later when the two confronted each other, Varian called him "Sir". Probably because Quiring taught him to be respectful of others, and they both clearly take this social rule rather seriously.

So then Cassandra comes in and saves Varian, for apparently no selfish reasons. She likely just didn't want to have a child get crushed when she could've prevented it, but to Varian, this changes his view on people. Cassandra isn't just a distant figure to respect; instead, someone he could have a connection with. And this is where one of Varian's most essential traits come to light: when comfortable, he treats situations like an experiment. He immediately starts calling her by a nickname, "Cassie", to see how she would react. At the day of the expo, he keeps trying out different tactics, trying to essentially just get close to Cassandra. One could Interpret this romantically, but I personally like to think he just really wanted a friend. A lonely kid, seeing someone cool show any kind of affection for him immediately made him go "there could be something here! I need to find out!", and so he does. In his own, nerdy way.

Hugo, on the other hand. He, unlike Varian, grew up having to socialize all the time. Having to talk his way out of situations constantly, he learned to put up walls so that the most desirable results come out, benefiting him and his missions. When he weasels his way into the Team, he also calls them nicknames. In his case, it stems from a need to distance himself from people, so that he doesn't get attached. One slight exception though is Varian, as Hugo seemingly not only uses nicknames on him to keep up built-up walls, but to get a reaction out of him. This is very similar to how Varian approached Cassandra when he was younger. He's interested in Varian from early on, and he handles this in his good old Hugo fashion, because he finds Varian entertaining. Varian at first doesn't trust Hugo, but when he proves himself trustworthy, he gives in. He's willing to reach out, making Hugo more than a means to an end. Eventually, the two become friends! Then more than friends!

And then, their approaches change.

I'd like to think that it was Hugo, who fell first. Or at the very least, he's the first to realize it, and he HATES THIS. His flight or flight is activated, and he really wants to flee. He's the type to ignore his feelings, try to bury them. That's all he knows how to do, really. Especially because for what could be the first time in his life, he's actually falling for someone who is his friend. Someone who means a lot to him! He wouldn't want to ruin things, especially because he knows that betraying Variant will break the guy's heart, once he finds out. Therefore, the less pain, the better.

Varian is the exact opposite of this. It takes him a long time to figure out what he feels, and that it could be romantic (he didn't exactly have the history with romance before. The "puppy crush" on Cassandra could have easily been more of an obsession with the possibility of someone showing affection towards him). But once he realizes that there's a chance that the two could be a thing? He doesn't have to think hard about what his next step should be: he likes Hugo, and he's a scientist. Trial and error is practically in his blood at this point, so if there's even a small possibility of them getting together? That Hugo likes him back? Varian will do anything to find out how probable his theory is. And so, once again, he treats the situation like an experiment. Wasting no time, he tries to confess or bring up the idea as quickly as possible. And Hugo FREAKS OUT. He's not ready!

Varian's other big trait is his stubbornness. He's not satisfied with an uncertain answer. He wants to know Hugo's view on them, as clearly as possible. So he keeps poking around, trying to find an approach that brings out different reactions, different answers as to why Hugo would be scared of them being together. Again. Really similar to how he treated Cassandra at the expo back then. This is the only way he knows how, though. And he needs clear answers.

He gets one at the last trial. Boom. Heartbreak. This isn't about angst though, so I'll end it here.

I find them so interesting. How their upbringing influenced their view and approach to people, to friendship, to romance. To each other. They are both scientists, but one is more afraid of the results than the other.

So it all boils down to the importance of clear communication: another big theme in Vat7k, what with Ulla and Donella setting an example as what not to do.

I could ramble about these characters for ages, but yeah. This is my view on them, I loooove reading different Interpretations in fan fiction though!

[wwooyology]

You're Mine Baby | K.YS

「pairing」 : ex bf!yeosang x fem!reader 「word count」 : 3.2k

「synopsis」 : you and yeosang had been broken up for at least a year now, but when you come back to town and saw him with another girl it sets you off. he was only supposed to be yours and this time you were going to make sure that he understood that.

「genre」 : psychological horror/thriller, angst, dark romance, slight gore

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, DARK THEMES!!!, cussing, tiny bit of kissing, stalking, reader has SEVERE mental illnesses (she's just straight psychotic), gore, blood, murder, stabbing, use of a weapon (knife), name-calling (skank...), manipulation, threats, hitting/slapping, blackmail(?), reader is in love obsessed with yeosang, mentions of a therapist/mental hospital, EXTREME violence, petnames (my love, baby…), yelling/shouting, fighting, anger issues, gaslighting, reader lowkey gives off 'if I can't have you no one can' vibes, kidnapping, implied use of drugs/sedative, possessiveness, lmk if I missed anything bc I feel like I did…

「now playing」 : kill bill by sza

「notes」 : this is some dark shit so I HEAVILY advice you to carefully look over ALL of the warnings before you proceed with reading!! also if this isn't your type of thing that is perfectly fine, but please keep your unnecessary comments to yourself, thank you.

It was late afternoon when you found yourself sitting outside a cafe, an iced coffee sitting on the table in front of you as you stirred the ice around with your straw. However, your eyes were focused on the couple laughing away with each other on the other side of the window. Your eyes narrow as you watch the girl lean onto the male, anger coursing through your veins. That was supposed to be you, not some worthless skank.

How long has it been since you last saw Yeosang? Oh, right…it has been two years, six months, two weeks, and four days since you were coldly ripped from his arms. You could even recall the seconds, hours, and minutes as well. 

You had hoped that whenever you were released that you would get the chance to reconcile with your ex-boyfriend. Yet as you learned of his new girlfriend the more that bitter taste in your mouth grew. So much so that you wanted nothing more than to get her out of the picture.

The straw in your hand made a pathetic sound as your fingers tightened around it, absolutely destroying the poor thing as you watched Yeosang lean over the girl and capture her lips in a kiss. Rage started to cloud your vision and you stood from your seat, the chair scraping the ground roughly.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” The sound of the worker's voice drew you out of your intense haze, and you looked over at her with doe eyes. Seeing her glance down at your hand, you noticed that with the force of your abrupt standing, it caused some of your coffee to slosh around before splashing onto the surface of the table.

Swallowing thickly, you recalled your therapist's words, ‘Remember, y/n, don’t let your anger consume you. It will only cause you more trouble, and I would hate to see you back in here again.’

Letting out a shaky breath, you apologized to the girl before using a few napkins to clean up your mess. Whenever you were finished, you looked back over your shoulder only to find Yeosang and that wretched girl was gone. Grumbling lowly, you threw the soaked napkins away before grabbing your drink and storming off down the sidewalk.

“Of course, they just had to leave when I wasn’t looking. No worries though, I can find them.” You assured yourself as you took a sip of your slightly watered-down coffee from the new straw the worker had offered you.

That’s exactly what you did. You found them later that night at a movie theater. Then it was the food stall that was just right down the road from the school you and Yeosang had attended years ago before finally Yeosang took her home. You watched from across the road, hiding just beyond the shadows of two houses.

Disgust settled deep in your gut as you saw Yeosang pull her into a deep kiss, his hand against her lower back to pull her closer. Rage once again started to bubble in your gut the longer you watched until he finally pulled away, wishing her one last goodnight before walking off.

Eventually, this led to you following Yeosang around, no matter where he went or what time it was. You were there. You wanted to speak with him, tell him to leave that thing he calls a girlfriend so he could be with you once more, but you knew you couldn’t. He would run the moment he saw you.

 So you needed a plan… A plan that would surely make him yours once again.

Then, one day, while you were walking a good distance behind them, you started to recognize the familiar path that they were taking. You hoped that he wasn’t taking her to the spot that he once showed you and promised to never bring anyone else. Yet when he rounded the corner to an all too familiar alleyway, you just knew.

You stopped dead in your tracks, fingers curling into fists at your sides as rage boiled over, flooding every single part of your body until you saw nothing but crimson red. Then you knew… knew it was time to put your plan into action.

It was such a simple plan, really, and your poor, sweet ex-boyfriend was just as clueless as always. He didn’t even bat an eye whenever he received a gift of an all-paid vacation rental from his ‘friend.’ You watched from afar like you’ve done for the past two months, watching as he happily packed all his bags with his happy-go-lucky girlfriend. The sight made you sick, really; how could he be so happy with something like that? Only you truly knew what he deserved, and that was you, of course.

After the lights turned off in his girlfriend's apartment, you made your trek back to your car. All you had to do now was wait for that perfect moment to strike, then he’d be yours again.

—

Yeosang awoke with a groan. The back of his head was throbbing. However, upon trying to reach for his head, he noticed that he couldn’t move his hands. His eyes flew open as he pulled at his restraints after noticing that he was tied to a chair.

‘What’s going on?’ Was all he could think as he tried his best to recall what had previously happened. He and Yoonmin were sitting in the living room, watching a movie, when suddenly the lights went out. He couldn’t remember much of what happened next, it was far too dark, but he did remember feeling an excruciating pain in the back of his head before everything went black.

His eyes then wandered around the room until they fell on the unconscious girl who sat tied to a chair just a few feet in front of him. Panicked, he thrashes around in his seat, but the knots in the rope are far too strong and way too tight for him to break free of. Not only that, but his limbs all felt like jelly, and his muscles were not working the way they were supposed to.

Hearing noises from the other room you sat down the mug of warm tea that sat in your hands, a borderline psychotic smile spreading across your face. Walking into the next room over your steps, light but happy, this is what you’ve been waiting for after all.

“Well, lookie who decided to finally wake up.” You greeted the male happily, making slow strides into the room.

Yeosang’s head snapped in your direction, his eyes blown wide and pupils dilating in anger and fear. Seeing you again was as if he had woken up in his own personal hell, one that he knew he wouldn’t escape from, but he would be damned if he didn’t try. 

“Y/n, what the hell is wrong with you? Let us go!” He shouted, arms still roughly pulling at his restraints. Hearing words caused you to stop dead in your tracks, your smile completely wiped off of your face. 

He should be happy to see you, not angry. Not with so much hatred in his eyes. It didn’t make any sense, but then you heard a small groan from the other side of the room. Your eyes narrowed into slits as you looked over at the girl. She must have brainwashed him. That had to be it. There would be no other reason Yeosang would even dare to look at you with such contempt.

The clicking sound of your tongue breaks the deathly silent room, the floorboards creaking with each step you take toward the girl. Once she was fully conscious and saw you walking towards her, she started thrashing around in her chair, trying to escape, but to no avail. Yeosang shouts and pleas for you to stop filled the room as you roughly grabbed the girl’s hair, yanking her head back.

“Why are you doing this to us? We did nothing wrong!” The girl weeps as she looks up at you, silent pleas filling her eyes, but you can’t help but scoff at her words. 

With a scowl, you yanked her head back until she was looking up at you fully. “Nothing wrong? Nothing. Wrong?” A crazed laugh fell from your lips as if she had said the funniest thing in the world. After a few short moments, your laughter stopped, and your face fell stoic. 

Yeosang watched in fear and disbelief as you leaned into the girl's face until you were merely inches away. 

“You’re anything but innocent.” The words came out in a growl, your grip on her hair tightening causing her to cry out, more tears streaming down her face. Your wide eyes then studied the girl's face, taking in every little detail that you could possibly find. However, the longer you looked, the more aggravated you became.

What in the world could possibly be so good about her? 

Yeosang’s breath hitched, and his yelling stopped as you turned your head to look back at him. A violent chill ran down his spine at the crazed gleam in your eyes. He knew this look all too well after spending years with you, the very look that meant disaster would strike if nothing was done to stop it.

The corner of your lips twitched as you maneuvered yourself next to the crying girl before yanking her head up so she was looking at Yeosang. “Tell me Yeo… What's so good about her? Huh?” Your voice gradually grew in volume, “What does she have that I don’t?” Yeosang shouted at you to stop once more as you pulled on the girl's hair eliciting a pained cry from her lips. “What the fuck makes her so much better than me?”

You couldn’t possibly understand. He had promised you that he would wait until you were released so you could be together again. ‘Why did he go back on his word? Why would he lie to you like that? Why? Why? WHY?’  Thoughts started to cloud your mind, and your sanity slowly started to drift away as you teetered on the edge of the deep. 

Yeosang opened his mouth to speak, hoping to calm the situation like he had so many times in the past, but before he could even utter a word, his poor little girlfriend beat him to it.

“Because I’m not a fucking lunatic like you!” She shouted, spitting in your face and causing your whole body to freeze. At those words, that last little push was given, and something inside of you snapped, a small laugh leaving your lips.

Noticing that something wasn’t right, Yeosang pulled against his restraints, “Wait, wait, y/n! She didn’t mean it!” He tried to reason with you as you slowly stood straight, your hold on her hair slipping until your hand dropped back down to your side.

“Of course, I meant it, Yeosang. Do you not see her?!” She shouted at the male, who pleaded with her to stop talking, but she, of course, didn’t get the hint. “I don’t know why she was let out. I mean, look at her, she’s a total fucking nutjo–”

Before she could even finish her sentence, your hand collided with the side of her face, damn near knocking the chair over. A shrill cry of pain left the girl's lips as you slapped her once again, sobs raking her body. Yeosang screamed and thrashed in his restraints, begging you to stop, but you just glared at him.

“Pulling on those restraints is pointless. You can’t get out.” Your eyes were wide as a smile spread across your face, an idea coming to mind. Walking away from the sobbing girl, you make your way over to the table with a slight skip in your step.

“Yoonmin, look at me. We’re gonna be okay, I promise.” Yeosang tried to comfort the girl, who nodded, her hair a mess as she looked over at him. His words pulled a laugh from your lungs as your fingers wrapped around the hilt of a large kitchen knife.

“Oh, Sangie, you should know better than to give empty promises.” You pouted, dragging the blade off the table, allowing the sharp scraping sounds to echo around the room. Yeosang looked over at you with a glare until he saw the knife in your hand, his whole body going rigid. “There’s no one coming to save you. You are on vacation, after all.” A small chuckle fell from your lips as you neared Yoonmin, her whole body trembling as she shook her head profusely, “No one is going to find you… At least not for a while.” You covered your mouth as a borderline psychotic laugh racked your body.

You rounded the girl's seat, pointing the blade dangerously close to her face until you stood behind her. Then, in the blink of an eye, your hand was tangled in her hair once again, yanking her head back until her throat was fully exposed. Yeosang’s eyes widened as he lurched forward, begging you to stop and put the blade down as he tried once again to get out of his restraints, but just like all of the times before, he failed. However, as soon as the blade's sharp edge made contact with her skin, you stopped, a sinister smirk tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Y/n, please.” Yeosang cried out, tears of his own blurring his vision. He knew that one wrong move could easily end Yoonmin’s life, and he also knew that he had very limited time to act. “You’re here for me, right? Let her go, and I promise I’ll go with you. Just let her go, y/n, please.” 

Your eyes narrowed into a glare as you pressed the blade further against the girl's neck, choked sobs racked her body as she tried to shy away from it. However, your grip was far too strong for her to go against.

“Oh my love,” You tilted your head, expression changing to one of pity as you looked at him, “we both know I can’t do that. You see, as long as this skank is alive, you’ll never fully be mine, and we can’t have that.” Your words alone were enough to send a chill down the male’s spine, but he wasn’t going to give up as he continued to try and negotiate with you, but it proved fruitless. “Can’t you understand it, Yeosang? I’m the only one you need. I’m the only one who loves you, who is truly right for you. Not some watered-down rat you found on the street.” You growl, pressing the blade just far enough to break the first layer of skin; bright crimson-red blood seeped out, running down her heaving chest. 

Growing even more aggravated, you told Yeosang to just say goodbye before starting to drag the blade across the girl’s skin.

“No, no, please y/n! NO!” Yeosang shouted, but it was useless; with precise movements, you had sliced the girl’s neck wide open. Blood sprayed out of the gaping wound as she struggled to intake any air. Your hand became covered in the thick liquid as you laughed maniacally.

Yeosang could only sit there in shock, tears streaming down his pale face as he watched the life drain from his girlfriend's body until she fell limp in her chair. “H-How could you?” He choked out, looking up at you as you wiped your face with your forearm but only managed to smear more blood. “Why couldn’t you just leave us alone?!” Sobs fell from his lips as he shouted at you, but you could only shake your head.

You slowly walked over to him, your hands behind your back as you playfully swung the knife around. “One day, you’ll understand Sangie, but she had to die. That’s the only way you would be mine and mine alone. I didn’t want to kill her, but that was the best way to do it.” You pouted as you finally reached him, bending at the waist to look at him.

“This is wrong, y/n.” Yeosang’s voice shook as he stared at you in nothing but unadulterated fear. He knew that you would never physically hurt him, but you definitely had your way around it. 

A pained expression fell upon your features as you reached out to him, cupping his cheek in your hand despite him trying to back away. “I just love you so much, Sangie, I can’t stand seeing you with other people. It just hurts me so much, and I’d rather die than be without you.”

“That’s not love, it’s an obsession.”

“Oh, but Sangie, you know deep down that you belong with me. Even your sweet mother knows that.” You spoke softly as your fingers tightened around his chin, “I would absolutely hate to see something happen to that poor woman.” 

Yeosang felt his blood run cold at the mention of his mother, eyes growing wide as you pulled your phone out of your pocket. After a few taps, you turn the device around to show Yeosang the screen. Even though the smeared blood on the screen, he could very clearly tell that it was his mother, humming to herself in the kitchen while she cooked dinner.

Fear sunk its claws even deeper into his bones as he took in the unsettling smile that was on your lips. He was trapped.

“Now… are you going to be a good boy and listen to me? I’m only doing this for your own good, baby; I hope you understand that.” Your voice was sickeningly sweet as you cooed at him, your phone placed back into your pocket.

Yeosang knew that he didn’t have any other choice but to agree with you. It was the only way he could guarantee the safety of those around him. His pain-filled eyes flickered back over to the dark-haired girl's lifeless form before shifting his gaze back up to you.

“I’ll go with you, but you have to promise that you won’t hurt anyone else.” He begged, tears still spilling down his face, now mixing with the blood on his chin from your stained hand.

Shaking your head with a click of your tongue you brought the blade up to your face, waving it from side to side, eyes trained on the crimson cover metal. Then your eyes moved back over to meet Yeosang’s.

“That will all depend on if you can behave, my love. Be good, and no one else will get hurt.” Your tone was kind, but there were undertones that indicated that your words were anything but a bluff.

His heart pounded in his chest as he swallowed thickly, “I’ll behave, I promise.” He told you reluctantly, and he felt goosebumps litter his skin when a bright smile spread across your face.

Reaching forward, you cupped his face once more before leaning forward to place a kiss on his forehead. “We’re gonna be the happiest couple in the world, Sangie, I love you so much!”

It was then that it finally set in that he was trapped with nowhere else to run. His most terrifying nightmare had actually come true, but unlike those wicked dreams, he couldn’t wake up from this one.

@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Rose Recaps 2024 - Rose-Tinted Glasses

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!) @troubled-mind made her own year summary, and I wanted to play to. I want to look back and see what I did and kinda give myself a pat on the back. I've been feeling not that inspired about giffing lately so this might help.

January

Most Popular: Myungha is all of us

Favourite: The Glitch

This one took me a long time to make but I had so much fun. It was a request and I immediately knew what I wanted it to look like, adding the red flare, but then I actually had to make it, which is when I get in trouble, because there are only so many hours in the day and I'm never happy. But I'm really happy with this one.

February

Most Popular: Is the magic gone? - Cherry Magic Thailand, EP 11

Favourite: The End

Yes, it's Love for Love's Sake again. I adore this set. I just love how it turned out. I had a good time trying to get the look I wanted. And of course, them. I love them.

March

Most Popular: S01E06 | S02E06 | S03E06 - Young Royals

Favourite: "So, I've been searching all this time…for someone who would polish off that dish with me."

This show changed me and healed me and it all started here. I love this show too much for words, but I did try to explain my love for it in my second favourite post from this month. It's magic.

April

Most Popular: Silent Screaming - Unknown, EP 9

Favourite: Ok this isn't exactly my post or just one but all the answers from #Rose's Day of Asks, April 2nd. It was just so much fun to go on a ask spree, and get to know some people better and get show recs and just generally interact more. It broke my brain a little but it was such a fun day for me. Also it was a fun excuse to just ask questions, because sometimes I feel awkward dropping by someone's inbox to ask some random question. May

Most Popular: Domesticity - Unknown, EP 12

Favourite: "The ocean is for contemplating things bigger than we are..."

This is such a special set to me. I did it as a gift to the always kind @twig-tea and I love it a lot. She loves the sea and so do I, so to work with it in different shows and just look at it while I was making this set was such a treat for me as well. This was the post that started it.

June

Most Popular: Oyei & Cher - Wandee Goodday, EP 6

Favourite: The 25:00 in Akasaka running.

This show got me so bad. This post basically started because of @lurkingshan tags on another post and then because @colourme-feral asked me about who would do the running in the inevitable running to the beloved moment. And it was fun discussion with great additions from @lurkingshan here and @emotionallychargedtowel take here.

July

Most Popular: Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko, EP1

Favourite: Zettai BL is back!!!

I had a blast giffing this show. It was just great seeing my faves again and getting a new fave in Hatano. Many thanks to @ikeoji-subs for making it possible for us to watch it.

August

Most Popular: 'Friendship is nice, isn't it?' - I Hear the Sunspot, EP 8

Favourite: Rose Watches OJBL - The Novelist: Playback (2021)

Never was I happier to have started the ojbl project that when I finished this series. I love it so much. And this project is dying down because I've seen most of the good ones, and will make my way through others more slowly that I had before. But this project was definitely one of my personal highlights from last year.

September

Most Popular: THE Kiss - The Time of Fever, EP 4

Favourite: 'You've grown up well, Go Hotae.'

I am so critical of my work but damn do I love this set so much. The colours just make me so happy. And them of course. No secret that I absolutely lost my mind with them.

October

Most Popular: The amazing Nam Yoon Su - Love In The Big City, EP 1

Favourite: So I've been thinking about time.

The day I was so smart. I was very proud of myself for figuring this out. It seems silly now, but it was driving me crazy and I felt really good when I finally cracked it. This show also occupied so much of my brain.

November

Most Popular: Parallels LITA - Love in the Air Koi, EP 1

Favourite: Love in the Big City by Sang Young Park | PART THREE

This show gave me so much pain, but it got me doing something different. I really loved making these. And this one was the best of one. I am so rusty using photoshop that it was a challenge at first, and it took ages but it was also really fun. I love these edits a lot.

December

Most Popular: Panther Eyes - Caged Again, EP 6

Favourite: Miseinen parallels - Episode 1 | Episodes 1, 2, 4, 5, 6

I had been paying attention to the places Jin was visiting in the first episode to spot them when they appeared again, so i was very happy when I was finally able to collect them all.

Well that's it for yearly recaps I guess. I feel like I'm getting better at this giffing thing and also writing some thoughts down, even if I still feel intimidated by some people. I had fun here last year and I hope this one continues to be great. I just need to find some inspiration and start giffing again properly. Have a wonderful year everybody! 💜

Also, if anyone wants to do this consider yourself tagged! and you can use this site where you can look for your top posts of each month.

[eternal-love-song]

In Flowers And Blood

Siffrin swallows his feelings and coughs up flowers.

[Siffrin/Odile]

[Hanahaki Disease, Siffrin POV, Angst, Angst with a happy ending, Second Person POV, Character Study, Relationship Study, Introspection, Pre-canon (at first)]

You knew you were in trouble the first time you went drinking together.

You had still been a little uncertain about your place in the party. You were the fastest attacker, sure, and your scissors attacks had really come in handy, but you hadn't yet settled in with them outside of battle. You'd barely figured out how to make Isabeau laugh, Mirabelle acted like she was afraid of you half the time, and Odile was cold. You constantly thought you were doing something wrong and tried to keep out of the way as much as possible.

Mostly, that meant that you lurked on the edges of conversations being silent and still so as not to interrupt anything you weren't meant to be a part of. That sometimes backfired, as you'd often scared Mirabelle because she didn't realize you'd been there, but you hadn't figured out how else to handle things.

It was easier in the bar. It was just the three of you, as Mirabelle wasn't a big fan of drinking. You'd been drinking plenty of times before and no one usually expected much out of you other than telling a story or two, so you were able to relax for the first time since joining up with them.

The private table that they'd chosen made it easier to relax than if they had sat at the bar. Isabeau got all of your drink orders and brought them to the table.

Isabeau was exactly as you'd expected him to be, friendly and loud and wearing a smile that only seemed to grow over the course of the night. He told stories about his time with the Defenders that had you and Odile both making comments and jokes more easily than you ever had before.

Madame Odile was the one to surprise you. A few drinks in and she became almost a different person. Warmer, looser, and full of wry commentary. She laughed more openly than you'd ever heard her. She teased you instead of making the careful comments that you had been used to.

It was nice!

You found yourself trying to tell your own stories just to join in with them. You didn't think that you had anything very interesting to say, but Isabeau seemed to hang on your every word and Madame Odile looked at you with keen interest. For once you found the attention nice instead of suffocating.

When you got back to your room at the Inn, Isabeau ended up passing out on the couch without even making it to the bed. You fumbled your shoes off at the door and helped Madame Odile to the other bed in the room. She was a bit shakier than you were. Her tolerance was higher, but because of that she had also drunk a lot more to get to the level of drunk she was at. You were drunk too, but the instinct to care about your friends made you careful with them where you wouldn't have been with yourself.

You spent over a minute staring at the other bed, afraid that your stumbling and shuffling into bed would wake Mirabelle, before you found yourself being pulled backward into the bed.

You squeaked! Then your face flushed darkly at the noise that came out of you. You looked over your shoulder to see Madame Odile watching you with tied eyes.

"Just go to sleep, Siffrin," she said. You could see her making herself comfortable, only withdrawing the hand she had on your shoulder once she was sure that you would stay put. "Let's leave poor Mirabelle alone, shall we?"

You nodded, not trusting your voice after the strange sound that had come out of you. You ended up staring at her for a while before eventually nestling into your pillow and letting your heavy eyelids close.

It was in the morning that you knew.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

You weren't the first one awake, you never were. But you heard Mirabelle in the bathroom and Isabeau's heavy breaths were still coming from the direction of the couch. It took a while for you to wake up. You blinked slowly as you tried to force yourself awake. Once you did, all you could do was stare.

You had never been this close to Odile before. You'd never had the chance to really look at her without her catching you or making some comment about it. Odile was… really pretty. All your party members were, in your opinion, but it was different with Odile. You wanted to trace her face with your fingertips. The lines beneath her eyes that only barely smoothed in her sleep, the worry lines that scrunched up her forehead. You took it all in with a greed that surprised you.

You couldn't remember the last time you'd felt this warm and comfortable when watching another person. It wouldn't last, you knew that it wouldn't. Whatever closeness the two of you had shared last night was a one off, brought on by alcohol and the atmosphere. You couldn't expect to have the same ease again, but you desperately wanted to.

Selfishly, you moved just a tiny bit closer to her. Close enough that your head was almost pressed against her shoulder. You wouldn't dare touch her on your own, but you wanted to be closer to her, if you could just figure out how. When she shifted slightly in her sleep, enough that you were finally touching skin to skin, you almost jumped out of the bed.

Almost.

You forced yourself to remain still, too afraid that when you lost that contact you'd never get it back. It was nice. It was addictive. You knew that she had only pulled you into her bed for convenience, but the thought that she might want you there, might want you to be closer to you too made something in your chest feel warm and full.

Something in your chest… and in your throat.

You held it in. Whatever it was, you wanted to ignore it as long as possible.

An hour later, when you found yourself having a coughing fit in the bathroom, crouched beside the sink as you tried to desperately muffle the sound with your hands, you knew. Even before you opened your hand and found the small shredded petals, you knew.

You were in trouble.

It was pretty easy to ignore that tickle you felt in your throat.

At least, that's what you told yourself. With enough water and deep breathing, it hadn't progressed to the point of a coughing fit again. You could even pretend that you'd imagined the tiny, crushed things you'd found in your hand that one time. You were barely awake, after all, and you'd been drunk the night before. Your mind had probably been playing tricks on you.

You told yourself that it was nothing and then you decided to believe it.

In the time since that night, things had actually gotten a lot better! You finally felt like you fit in with your party, a little bit, at least. You and Isabeau traded jokes back and forth a lot more often. You'd gotten better at talking to Mirabelle, though you still didn't feel like you ever knew what the right thing to say to her was. And you and Madame Odile had settled into a… something.

You weren't quite sure what to call it. You both sent each other commiserating looks when you tripped over some strange and new part of Vaugardian culture. She didn't look at you with the same caution that she had prior. You felt less like a parasite intruding upon her space when you were near her.

And you wanted to be near her a lot. More than anyone else in the party.

That… was probably bad. You think if you ever said that to Mirabelle, she would cry. You didn't want to make Mirabelle cry. So you had to make sure that you didn't say anything upsetting to her. And anyway, Madame Odile would probably find it odd that you wanted to spend so much time with her.

It… was weird, wasn't it? It was clingy, at the very least. You didn't want to be clingy. You didn't want her to hate you.

You must have been doing a good job at not being weird or clingy or any of those things though, because she invited you to spend time alone with her!

You were surprised at first. Really, really surprised! It made more sense once she told you what she wanted to do. There was no way that Mirabelle or Isabeau would be interested in walking around in an antique shop all day. Isabeau was usually pretty loud and energetic, while Mirabelle was pretty anxious. You didn't think either of them would enjoy being cooped up in a cramped old shop very much.

Even if it was only because you were her only option, you still appreciated being asked. You enjoyed sharing space with her. You liked that you didn't feel pressured to speak around her like you often did with the others. You could just as easily walk around the shop in silent solidarity as you could share a simple conversation with each other. It was nice.

"Siffrin," Odile called to you softly, leaning down over one of the shelves. "Come here."

You walked around one of the tables that cluttered the center of the shop to get to her side. There was barely enough space for you to slip between the aisles, you couldn't imagine someone as big as Isabeau being comfortable here. You stopped a few steps away from Odile, not wanting to crowd her in the already cramped shop.

She pointed to a small collection of glass figurines. Fat, round things with exaggerated expressions. Laughter, surprise, horror, anger… There were about a dozen of them all clustered together. "I'm curious, which of these do you think would suit us all?"

She was wearing a teasing expression, lips quirked up into a wry smirk. The question felt like a trap, but not a mean one. You knew she was going to think whatever you picked was silly, but you hoped that you'd be able to get a laugh out of her, at least.

You sorted through the little figures for a few minutes before you finally settled on your final picks. "This one is Isa." The one you pointed to was particularly short, but it had its hands on a round belly and looked like it was laughing loudly, so you knew it fit. It gots a small chuckle out of her and you thought it was because of how stout the figure looked compared to Isabeau. "Next… these two are Mira." One had an absolutely horrified expression and the other looked ready to fight.

Odile's laugh was nearly a snort. "Yes, I'd say that fits our little housemaiden perfectly."

The last one that you pointed to was showing teeth in a smile. You couldn't tell if it was teasing or threatening. You thought that fit Madame Odile better you could describe her in words. "This one is you."

She didn't laugh, but her smirk did widen. She picked up the little figure to examine it closely. "So this is how you see me, is it?" Her words had a teasing lilt when she looked at you. You found yourself shrinking into your cloak and your face darkening without being fully sure why.

"Do you think I'm wrong?" you asked.

"Oh no, I think you've read me perfectly." She flashed you a smile. It reminded you of the figure, dangerous and teasing. You liked it more than you thought you should.

She carefully sat the figure back down. After a brief glance at the collection of figures, she picked out another one. This one looked kind of mysterious. Most of its body was hidden and even though it was smiling, you couldn't quite figure out what the smile meant. Was it joking? Did it know a secret? She held it out to you and dropped it into your hand.

"That one is you," she said.

You weren't sure what to think of it, other than feeling kind of warm and happy that she thought about you. "What makes this one me?"

Odile smiled as she stood straight. "I think I'll let you figure that one out on your own," she said with a slaugh.

You watched her as she walked away to look through the other shelves. Your hand curled gently around the figure. You felt a little hiccup in your thought, but you decided to ignore that. The warmth you felt in your cheeks was more worthy of attention than the little scratching of your throat.

And if you coughed into your hand on your way out of the shop, well, you didn't bother looking at your hand so you didn't see anything that may have been worth fretting over.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

You were able to see a new side of Odile once you found Bonnie. Really, Bonnie's presence revealed a new side to all of you. Isabeau acted sillier, Mirabelle smiled more often, and Odile… she didn't get softer, exactly, but she changed in more subtle ways. She explained herself more often, she corrected them and they absorbed every new word she offered enthusiastically, and she played along with them.

You… were the same. At least, you thought that you were. Except that now you had a new shadow that followed you around most of the time. You were flattered by the attention and tried really hard to impress them. But that was true of most of your party.

You liked Bonnie. You liked the way that they made your friends smile more. You liked the food that they cooked. Most of all, you liked watching the way Odile sent small smiles their way whenever they did something she thought was clever.

"You know," you whisper to her when you catch her secretly smiling. "I'd almost think that you liked our new kid."

Madame Odile huffed, holding her book higher and hiding her face. "You're imagining things."

She was cute like this. Cute in a different way from Mira or Isa or anyone else. She was letting more and more pieces of herself slip out around you all and you liked it. You loved it! You wished that you could get to know her even more, even better.

You coughed. It went on for just long enough that she raised an eyebrow at you.

"Are you alright there, Siffrin?"

You nodded, keeping your hand glued to your mouth. "Just… need water?"

She nodded and handed you your canteen so that you could drink. You took a long sip without looking at your hand. You felt better afterwards, so you didn't think about it anymore than that.

"We don't need you getting sick," she told you. "Best take care."

You felt warm.

"Thanks."

You found yourself split into pairs more often with Bonnie around. They required a lot of attention and it was easier to give it to them when there was someone that you could tag team with. It was easiest with Isa. He could pick Bonnie up and let them crawl over him, or he would ask questions in a way that made Bonnie feel like he was teaching them something when they answered. You found it easy to play off Isabbeau. Either it was the two of you making jokes together and teasing Bonnie, or it was you and Bonnie teaming up to tease Isabeau. Isa rarely joined Bonnie in teasing you, but you were alright with that.

It was most difficult with Mirabelle. The two of you had very difficult levels of care and she often got worried watching you and Bonnie together or else misunderstood something that you meant as a joke for them. She'd been very concerned about you showing them tricks with your dagger, likewise when you offered to show them how to hold it even though they used a knife regularly when cooking. You knew that it was just because Mirabelle was really anxious and worried about them hurting themselves, but it still made you self conscious a lot and caused you to second guess your actions around them a lot.

Of course, you enjoyed it most when it was you and Odile. Bonnie often thought that the two of you were boring together, but Odile took all the comments about her age in stride and they always listened to what she said. You were a bit better at indulging them and she was better at being stern, which meant that neither of you had to act much differently to keep their attention contained between them.

"This is boring," Bonnie complained after staring at the two of you for a full minute. You were sitting side by side, your gaze fixed on a bird hopping around on the ground while Odile was watching one perched on a branch above them. You could see her scribbling things done every so often but you didn't try to look at what she wrote. "You're not even doing anything."

"No one told you that you had to stay behind with us, Boniface," Odile answered without missing a beat.

Bonnie pouted and visibly deflated. "I thought I'd get to see you do secret old people things."

You snickered. They were watching you do secret old person things, but they'd wanted to see something exciting and dangerous, not calm and relaxing. You decide to show them mercy that you knew Madame Odile would not. You reached into your pocket pulling out a handful of seeds and gestured for them to come closer. "Do you want to feed them?"

Bonnie perked up a bit. "Can I?"

Bonnie almost ran to your side, but you quickly gestured for them to slow down and walk so that they didn't scare away the birds. You dumped half your seeds into the palm of their hand. "Start by throwing them out further away and then you can leave some closer to lure them in."

Bonnie was nodding eagerly, like you'd just imparted some secret knowledge to them. Perhaps you had. They were pretty young after all.

They threw out almost all their seeds immediately, which you kind of expected. You tossed your seeds a bit closer, hoping that you could get something to come a bit closer to you.

You didn't even need to watch that long before a few birds had taken the bait and begun hopping on the ground closer to you all.

"Whoa," they whispered with large, entranced eyes. They could be really cute when they got like this.

"Would you like to know more about that bird there?" Odile asked, nodding toward one of the birds in particular.

"Like what?" they asked. "They're all just birds, right?"

Odile smiled like she was telling them a secret. "Oh no, not at all. These birds are all quite different from each other."

Bonnie squinted at her like they expected this to be a trick. "Like what?"

The next hour was spent with Odile telling Bonnie a few facts that she knew about birds and you adding stories that you'd mostly made up off the top of your head, sometimes based on things Odile told him. It was fun! You were both pretty good at bouncing off each other and she had the poker face to make it hard for Bonnie to tell when she was joking or poking fun at them.

You hoped that you were able to have more days like this. Calm, lazy days where you didn't feel like you needed to worry too much.

When Mira and Isa returned, Bonnie ran over to them almost immediately, scarring off all the birds that had previously gathered. You laughed at their enthusiasm while Odile just sighed. She closed her book and turned to you. "Shall we?"

She got to her feet, pausing as she looked down at him. She reached out to him, her hand brushing across his hair and making him shiver briefly. "You had feathers in your hair," she told you.

You didn't see it, but then again, you didn't really check. Your eyes were glued to her and the small smile that she had saved just for you. The smile that only came out when you were both alone. A smile that was a little teasing, a little playful, a little knowing, a little sincere…

A little bit of everything that made your heartbeat a little weird and your face heat up.

You kept watching her even as she walked away.

You had to cough a few times before you leveraged yourself to your feet. Odile had already turned away though, so there was no one to see. No one to worry.

You cleared your throat and went to join everyone else.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The coughing started coming more often. You did your best to hold it in, to hide it from the others. You didn’t want them worrying about you. You pressed your hand to your mouth and coughed, and coughed, until your hand was full of petals.

You didn’t look at them.

You wiped your hand off on the grass to scatter the petals and drank water until the burning in your throat passed.

You told yourself that you'd be fine.

And you were!

For a while, you were.

And then you messed up.

"Siffrin!"

You squeezed your arms tight around Bonnie, even as pain lashed through one side of your face. You took the hit for them, but the blow still tossed the both of you a few feet backward. You could hear the others coming to finish it off even as you screamed in pain. But you refused to let Bonnie go. You didn't want them seeing how hurt you were.

"Frin?"

You bit your tongue to stop your screaming. You wanted to say that you were okay, but if you opened your mouth, you wouldn't be able to stop yourself again.

"Siffrin." Odile's voice, but your eyes were closed too tightly to see her. "Let me see the damage." You felt her hands on your face, tilting your head. "Shattered gems!"

That didn't sound good.

Bonnie started to squirm in your arms. "What's going on? I want to see!"

You held them tighter and bit your tongue harder. You couldn’t scream again, you couldn’t make them worry. You couldn’t let Bonnie see.

It hurt so much that you couldn't tell if the wetness on your face was from blood or tears. It was all you could do to hold Bonnie and bite your tongue. All you could think about was how it hurt, hurt, hurt!

"Siffrin." Odile's hand moved from your face to your arm. "Let go of Boniface. I'll take him."

Your arms were locked in place. You weren't sure that you could let go without losing your grip on everything. All of your control was wrapped up together in a tight ball of tension. You couldn't. You just couldn't.

"Siffrin." For one moment, you felt Odile's arms around you, embracing you as she squeezed Bonnie between you both. "It's okay, you can let go."

You felt warm.

You let go.

When you woke up, it was either several hours or several days later. You were alone, except for Odile sitting in the chair by your bed, eyes focused on her book. As soon as you began to stir, she was closing it to look at you, though. All of her attention was on you as she leaned closer.

"Ah, Siffrin." Her voice was softer than normal. Her eyes trailed over her with careful precision. "How are you feeling?"

You opened your mouth to answer and…

You coughed.

You couldn't stop coughing. You pressed a hand to your mouth as you coughed and coughed and…

Odile helped you sit up, one hand gripping your shoulder tightly. It took longer than you expected to get yourself under control. You looked down at your palm when she turned away to get you a glass of water. In the center of your palm was a mess of blood and petals. You closed your fist tight and hid your hand beneath the blanket.

"I'll help you," she said, holding the glass up for you. You lifted your other hand to take hold of the glass and she waited until she was sure your grip was firm before she let go.

You empted the glass before asking what happened.

You'd never seen that look on her face before. She looked… conflicted. Distressed.

You did that.

You did that to her.

You made her feel that way.

You needed to fix it. You needed to undo whatever it was that you did to make her look so unhappy.

"Siffrin, your eye…" Odile took a deep breath, steeling herself. "They couldn't…"

Oh. Your eye.

You brought your hand up to your injured side, surprised to find bandages there. Even without her finishing the statement, you understood what she had been trying to say. You remembered the pain that you were in, the way that you could barely stop yourself from screaming.

"It's gone, isn't it?"

To Odile's credit, she didn't hesitate as much when answering you. "Yes. I'm so sorry."

You wished that you could reach out and smooth away the worry lines from her face. You wished that you could hold her hand and tell her that you would be fine. You wished that, you wished…

You… didn't wish for anything. You took a breath deep enough to be certain that you wouldn't cough and you said, "I'm fine."

You tried to smile, but from the look that she gave you, you weren't sure that it worked.

You were a failure.

You couldn't make Odile feel better. You couldn't lift her burdens.

You were one.

"Siffrin." You hated the exasperation you heard in her voice more than anything else.

You placed the glass on the table beside you.

Or, you tried to. You missed and only realized it when you heard the sound of glass shattering on the floor.

You stared at your hand as if it had betrayed you.

"It's alright," she told you. "I'll take care of it later."

You curled up in a ball and pulled the blanket over your head, hoping to disappear.

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You knew what was happening to you and, despite your best efforts, you couldn't keep ignoring it. You had hoped that it would go away, that you were imaging things. You hoped that the coughing was a symptom of something else, the petals just your imagination. But as you stared into the sink, cluttered with handfuls of petals and splatters of blood, you had to admit to yourself what was happening.

You were sick.

You were dying.

It was a slow death. You'd cough more and more often. There would be more petals, and then flowers, and then roots taking hold in your lungs until there was no room for anything else. You would bleed; maybe from coughing your throat raw, maybe from the flowers scratching up your insides, maybe you'd drown in it, unable to cough everything up in time. The details didn't really matter. All that mattered was that you were on a time limit now and a rather short one at that.

You pressed your back to the door and let yourself slide to the floor. You were alone for the first time since your injury, so you didn't have to worry about taking too long or pretending to feel better than you did.

You hurt.

Your throat, your eye, even your lungs from all the coughing you'd just done. It all hurt so much and you didn't want to pretend that it didn't.

But you would.

You would.

You would pretend for them, so that you didn't make them worry.

You were already on your way to becoming dead weight, you didn't want to make it worse. You were too close to the end to start holding them back.

You tried to remember what you knew about this disease, or even what it was called, but you… couldn't. Trying to do so just made your head hurt along with everything else. You didn't remember, you just… knew.

You knew that you were going to die from this. You didn't know why.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Even if you didn't know, even if you had tried not to know, you couldn't lie to yourself forever. There was something in you. Something… longing. Something hungry. Something desperate and disgusting and selfish.

Something that you didn't want to look at too closely. Didn't want anyone else to look at. You didn't know how to make yourself stop… wanting.

You knew that you cared about your friends much more than they cared about you and you tried to be content with that. You tried not to think about the fact that you would lose them when you beat The King.

If you beat The King…

If you beat The King, and they left you like you knew they would, you would be alone again… wouldn't you?

You desperately didn't want to be alone but even more than that…

Even more than that…

If you could just keep one of them…

You knew that it was selfish. You knew that it would be beyond presumptuous to even ask. You knew that you didn't deserve any of them. But if you could stay with any one of them, you… knew… who you would choose.

You coughed.

You coughed and you choked and you cried tears that only fell from one eye. You slammed a fist against the ground as you coughed and wailed. Your vision was blurry as you watched flower petals and splatters of blood hit the floor and then be diluted by tears.

You hoped and you hated and you wanted and you wished and you…

You heard the opening in the other room open.

You pressed a hand to your mouth to muffle the sound of your coughing, but you couldn't stop. You curled up into a ball and closed your eyes.

You knew that you would need to clean everything up to hide it from your party. You knew that you couldn't take too long or else they would start to worry. But you couldn't bring yourself to get up just yet. So you stayed on the ground, you curled up so tightly that it made your stomach hurt, and waited for the coughing to stop.

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By the time you reached Dormont, the others were convinced that you were sick. You hadn't been able to hide your coughing as well as you'd wanted to. The fits had become a little too frequent for that. No one had noticed the petals though or the blood, so you were fine.

You had to be fine.

You needed to fight The King. You didn't have the luxury of not being fine.

Everyone else knew that, too. As much as they hadn't wanted to let you fight with them, they couldn't deny that they would need all the help that you could do.

So you had one more chance. One more chance to be useful to them. One more chance to help them. One more chance to be with them and smile with them, to fight with them and struggle with them, to make them laugh and give them a good memory of you to keep before they left you behind.

You coughed. Hard.

You covered your mouth, but you knew that there was no stopping these fits at this point. You were resigned to just hiding the petals and hoping that there wasn't much blood this time.

"That cough of yours is getting worse," Odile said. You jumped, surprised to find her standing next to you when the others had already walked on past you. She was frowning at you, giving you the stern look that you knew was her way of expressing concern more than it was a look of disapproval.

You thought there might have also been disapproval there.

You thought that she would tell you that you needed to keep it together for the fight. You thought that she might have wanted to tell you not to hold them all back. You thought that she might have wanted to scold you for getting sick in the eleventh hour. Or if she wouldn't have said that, you thought that maybe she should.

She should be mad at you for potentially crippling them at the last moment like this. You were certainly mad at yourself, so it would only make sense if she was mad at you too.

You didn't want Odile to be mad at you.

You really, really didn't want to disappoint her.

You wished…

Another fit of coughing interrupted your thought before you could finish it.

Odile waited for you to get yourself under control before you a canteen of water. You drank greedily, trying to wash down the clutter in your throat. It would have been better to spit them out, but you couldn't do that with her watching you.

"Once this whole business with The King is done, we are going to make you rest," she told you sternly.

You managed to smile at her. "Going to nurse me back to health?"

She surprised you by returning the smile. "If need be," she told you. "Though I think the others would be better suited to the task."

"But your company would be more enjoyable."

She… stared.

You realized your mistake all at once and scrambled to think of something that didn't sound so clingy and weird. "I-I mean, you're a lot quieter so it would be easier to rest!"

It was a weak reasoning but it was all that you'd been able to come up with.

She stared at you for a while longer, a considering look upon her face before she eventually nodded at you. "I suppose that is true. Boniface would be rather disruptive, for all he would want to cook something to make you feel better."

"And Mirabelle would be too worried," you added.

"And Isabeau might tip you into a coughing fit with the way the two of you can't seem to help telling jokes to each other," she went on.

It was nice, being able to talk to her this way. You wished that you could move closer to her, maybe lean against her shoulder or take her hand.

But you knew better than to indulge silly, selfish thoughts like that. Odile didn't like to touch people. And more than that, none of them liked to touch you. You shouldn't even think about things like that.

"Let's not get too far behind," she said, gesturing toward the others. They'd gotten pretty far ahead of you now, but that didn't matter as much in a town as small as dormont. "We'd best settle in. We have a difficult day ahead of us."

Your agreement felt hollow when all you wanted was to stay at her side and continue talking with her.

"Yeah," you agreed anyway.

You all spent the rest of the day apart.

When you ended up standing before the Favor Tree, you finally managed to gather together your repressed thoughts and feelings. You didn't want to die. Not now. Not like this.

You didn't want to die holding everything inside you. You didn't want to end up as a flowerbed to your buried feelings. You didn't think that you had much of a choice though.

Tomorrow you would fight The King.

Tomorrow you might die.

You didn't want to die, but you didn't want to watch the others die either. Maybe if you could protect them, if you could spend your life doing something worthwhile, it might not be so bad.

But…

But you…

You wanted…

You wished…

You wished…………

You whispered into the leaf, you folded it over, and then you let it go. Off into the Universe.

You spent a few minutes staring at nothing, standing in silence, feeling absolutely empty. Almost peaceful.

Eventually, you told yourself that you had to go. You had to move. You made yourself smile, you turned around, and you left the Favor Tree behind you.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Your trip into the house ended in failure.

No, worse than that, it started in failure.

But on the bright side, you could only go up from there. You failed forward through the house, slowly making your way past locked doors and traps and Sadnesses.

Mirabelle doubted herself nearly every step of the way. You wished that you could tell her how amazing she was without her looking at you like she didn't believe a word you said. You wished you could tell her that the only weak link in the party was you. You wished that you weren't the thing holding everyone back, but you also knew that you were the reason that they could make it forward at all.

Isabeau would try to cheer her up with words, which got a weak smile in turn. Bonnie would try to cheer her up with snacks, which got a much brighter, much faker smile. Odile tried to offer logic and advice, which… was the best response any of you were able to pull from her honestly.

You wished that you had the same grounded approach that Madame Odile had to helping Mirabelle. But you didn't. All you knew how to do was to open your mouth and crack jokes.

And you couldn't even do that right anymore as half the time you opened your mouth, you would cough. And then Mirabelle was right back to worrying. Right back to doubting. Right back to creased eyebrows and a small frown and biting her nails until someone else was able to take her hand and get her to stop.

"I don't know how you're always able to get through to her," you said quietly, when it was just you and Odile standing together, watching as the others talked about some diary they'd found. "Sometimes I think you're the only one she listens to."

"Perhaps," she replied, just as quietly as you. "But I would never be able to make her smile the way that you and Isabeau do. We all have our roles, Siffrin."

She was right. You all had your roles.

Odile's role was to keep Mirabelle grounded.

And your role was to die. Over and over again until your friends were finally able to make it through the house.

It was the only thing that you could do, so you might as well do it.

"We all have our roles," you repeated to yourself. Then you turned back to the room to make sure you'd gathered everything you needed to.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

When The King killed you for the first time, you'd felt helpless. It had taken everything you had just to get to The King in the first place and then he'd taken you out in one strike. One devastating blow that had shown you just how outclassed you all were.

You tried to think of anything that you could do, any way that you could move forward, but you… couldn't.

You couldn't!

All you could think about was the strange vision that you had gotten. An image of a tree sprouting up out of your chest until you were buried beneath its roots and your still beating heart dangled from one of the branches.

Was that your fate? Would that be all that you would be remembered as?

You laid in the field until Mirabelle woke you up.

And then you laid beneath the Favor Tree until the stars came out.

And then kept laying there. You kept waiting, kept watching, as your thoughts spun around you. Around and around in a big, overwhelming storm that left you thinking about everything and nothing all at once.

You weren't seeing anything that was around you. You felt the ground beneath your back, saw the branches overhead, and you thought about the way those branches stretched into the sky without ever reaching it. You thought of how hopeless it was for a tree to reach for the stars.

You wondered if it was hopeless for you to try and beat The King.

You wondered if all your desires were hopeless.

"There you are." You blinked back to reality, turning your head to the side and watching as Odile marched over to you. "We've been looking all over for you."

You found that a little hard to believe, when you've been in this same spot for most of the afternoon. Then again, they’d probably only started looking for you once you had missed dinner. There wouldn't have been any reason to think anything was wrong before that.

Odile stared down at you for a minute before lowering herself onto the ground next to you. "Alright, what is it?"

Your brow furrowed in confusion. "What is what?"

Odile huffed like you were being difficult. "What is wrong, Siffrin? Mirabelle said that you were napping earlier and even as much as you like your sleep, I doubt you've been asleep this whole time." She tilted her head to look at you, but you couldn't tell what her expression meant.

For one moment, your head was completely empty. You couldn't think of a single problem, a single positive, a single fact that had led you to this moment. You couldn't think of anything you could say that would justify putting that concerned look on her face. You couldn't think of anything that was worth worrying her.

"You're thinking too hard," she told you after waiting a while for you to speak.

"H-huh?"

"I can practically see you scrambling to figure out what to say." Part of you froze at being read so easily, but Odile had always been able to read you. You'd never been sure if you were just easy to read or if she understood you better than anyone else. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, I'm not going to make you talk. I do think that you'll feel better if you talk about what's on your mind, however."

You tried to think about what you could tell her. Which of the million thoughts that were clogging up your head could you actually release into the air without feeling like they would just start eating you from the outside instead.

"I'm… worried about fighting The King."

Odile barked a laugh. "Yes, I think we're all rather concerned about that." She shakes her head, a wry smile on her lips. "Mirabelle's worry is… rather obvious, I think. And potent. Isabaeu won't dare say anything that would risk morale, but I doubt that he hasn't considered how dangerous this all is. Boniface may be young, but they are anything but stupid, they know that this is dangerous even if they have chosen to focus on everything but the fear they are surely feeling."

You waited for her to say something about herself and when she didn't, you sat up to look at her more closely. "What about you? You never talk about how you're feeling, Odile."

Silence fell between the two of you. You didn't mind. You were willing to wait for her to confide in you if you had to, if she wanted to. You wouldn't have pushed her. You never pushed any of them, too afraid of potentially overstepping the tentative place that you had been allowed.

"I'm worried that we are walking into our own graves," she finally answered, keeping her eyes on her hand, where they rested in her lap.

Your breath caught in your throat. Not because you'd been surprised by what she said, you were pretty sure you all worried that tomorrow might be your last day, but by the fact that she'd actually said it. By the fact that Odile had chosen to talk to you about her worry.

Your silence must have worried her, or maybe she felt encouraged to keep going once she'd started. You weren't sure, but either way, she had added more. "I know that it isn't appropriate to say such a thing the night before a big battle. Mirabelle would crumble if she heard me saying such a thing, and Isabeau would try fruitlessly to cheer me up. I don't find it helpful to ignore the inevitable, though."

"That isn't really fair to you," you'd told her. "That you have to keep that all bottled inside for our sake."

She looked at you, her expression a myriad tangle of sadness, bitterness, and resignation. "No, perhaps not," she admitted. "But neither is it fair to all of Vaugarde that some tyrant has decided to freeze them all in time. Neither is it fair that Mirabelle is the one that has to carry the weight of victory or defeat on her shoulders." She reached up to touch one of the gems that dangled on the end of her glasses, cradled it. "None of this is fair. Life never is. We carry on anyway… or we die. That is always how it's been."

"I won't let you die tomorrow!" You blurted out the words before you could help yourself.

She turned to look at you with more raw surprise than you'd ever seen on her face. Then it smoothed down into something softer. Pitying, maybe. Unconvinced, surely. "Siffrin…"

"I mean it," you insisted. "Maybe… maybe I can't do anything about The King yet, but I'll figure out a way. I promise… I won't let you die. I'll do anything… to keep you from dying tomorrow.."

Even if it meant throwing yourself into a meat grinder over and over and over again. Even if it meant being crushed by The King a thousand times. Even if he had to be frozen by tears or killed by Sadnesses… Even if he had to die, and die, and die, and die…

Even if the only way that he survived was as a bloody tree with its heart hanging from the branches, he refused to let her die. To let any of them die!

"That's not the sort of promise you should make Siffrin."

"But I am!" you said stubbornly. You felt a familiar tickle in the back of your throat, but you ignored it.

Odile sighed as she turned to look at you full on. "That's not the sort of weight that you should bear."

"But I will!" You moved onto your knees, just so that you could be closer to her, so that you could look into her eyes and show her that you were determined. That you meant every word that you were saying. Maybe she wouldn't believe you anyway, but you wanted her to know! You wanted her to see.

"Siffrin…" She sounded tired. You hated it.

"Odile," you said back, voice hard and certain.

She softened again. You knew it wasn't with pity that time, but you didn't know what it was. She reached out to you, placed a hand on your shoulder. You shivered under the touch, but she didn't remove it. "Siffrin, you can't make a promise like that. You don't know what will happen tomorrow. I know that you want to help, but lying… won't help me."

You felt… cold.

Something in your heart twisted painfully.

Something in your chest felt horribly broken.

You opened your mouth to speak, to say anything to try and change her mind. Anything you could think of to make her believe you!

You opened your mouth and all that came out was a harsh, painful cough. It raked your throat raw on the first few heaves, but it didn't stop.

"Siffrin?" Odile's hands tightened on your shoulders as your hands went to your throat. You were choking. You could feel something stuck in your throat. You… couldn't breathe… "Siffrin!"

Her hands tightened on your shoulder as you coughed, and choked, and wheezed.

You hunched over, one hand resting uselessly around your throat while the other hovered in front of your mouth as if you could shield her from it. You couldn't think about that though, not really. Your mind could only focus on how much you needed to breathe, how hard you were coughing and wheezing, how desperately you needed to--

You felt the wet, sticking thing land in your palm. All at once, you were free. You could breathe.

You gasped, drawing in large. desperate breaths. There was a rattle in your throat. It wasn't clear yet. something was still there. The more you gasped, the closer you got to another fit, but you couldn't stop.

You felt Odile's hands shaking where they still grasped your shoulders tightly. "Siffrin…"

You coughed.

Splatters of blood and petals hit the ground with each cough. Your eye had watered so much that you could barely see.

When you managed to blink your vision clear, you felt frozen. On the ground between you and Odile, was a flower. Not a handful of petals, but a bloodstained wisteria.

You lifted your head slightly and met Odile's horrified gaze before--

You woke up in the field, staring at the sky.

You only had three thoughts circling around in your head.

Tomorrow, you were going to die.

You were never going to see past tomorrow.

No matter what you did, how hard you tried, how much you died, you were never going to be able to get closer to Odile.

You imagined yourself as fertilizer for a wisteria tree.

You refused to move when Mirabelle came to wake you.

You refused to move at all.

You just laid still and hoped that the earth would swallow you whole while you coughed and cried and laid in a grave of your own feelings.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Your new reality became filled with flowers. It was impossible to get through an entire floor in the house without coughing. When you coughed, you found flowers with the crushed petals in your hand. The increased frequency was a lot harder to hide.

Anytime Bonnie was near you they commented that you smelled like flowers.

Mirabelle was constantly brushing missed petals off of you.

Isabeau hovered around you whenever a coughing fit started.

Madame Odile watched you like a hawk.

There wasn't anything that you could do to stop it. There wasn't a way for you to hide it anymore.

You tried to anyway.

You searched as hard as you could through the house, looking for any hint that you could find on how to beat The King. The longer your search went on though, the harder it became.

The coughing became so bad, so frequent, that they stopped asking you if you were okay after each fit. They knew you weren't okay.

Every loop you got a little more pale, a little more short of breath. Fighting was getting harder.

Trying was getting harder.

But you'd made a promise that you wouldn't let them die. You wouldn't let this all end in failure. You had to keep going for them.

"Siffrin," Mirabelle pulled you aside before your fight with The King. "Are you sure…" She looked unsure, almost afraid to say what was on her mind. She steadied herself anyway and pushed the question out. "Are you sure that you want to… that you can fight with us?"

The ever present pain in your lungs felt like a needle of ice.

"What?"

"It's just… you're… you don't look very…"

"I'm fine!" You said it too quickly. Your smile was too thin. Mirabelle didn't believe you.

Slowly, she reached out for your hands. She hesitated.

Why did they always hesitate? Why did no one want to touch you? Did they know? Could they see how selfish you were? Could they see the roots of sickness beneath your veins? Did they know that you were so disgustingly attached to them that it was bleeding out of you? Pouring out you in a mess of earth and blood and pain?

Mirabelle took your hands anyway. "You don't have to do this," she told you, soft but determined. "If you aren't feeling well, we'll… we'll find a way to fight The King all on our own! I… I know that we can do it if we just… so please… Please, Siffrin. If you aren't feeling well… if you don't think that you can do it…"

She… didn't believe in you either, did she?

Of course she didn't. Of course she didn't!

Why would Mirabelle think you were someone that she could depend on? Why would she think that she could rely on you? All you did was get in their way, slow them down, cause them trouble.

You'd never been reliable. You forgot everything. You slowed them down by losing an eye. You were no better than the parasite that was ravaging you from the inside. You were filling up the air around them, taking up precious space, smothering them, suffocating them! You were just a weight pressing down on them all. A dead weight at the end of a chain that they couldn't get rid of.

You were nothing.

You coughed into your shoulder once, twice, before getting yourself under control. You smiled at her. Weak. You knew it was weak. It was all that you could do.

"I'll be fine, Mira. I wouldn't make you do this alone."

"She's right. Siffrin." Odile stepped up behind Mirabelle. You wondered if everyone had been listening, but you didn't turn to find out. You didn't want to know. You didn't want to see what they thought about you written on all of their faces. It was bad enough seeing the way Mirabelle looked at you like you were made of glass.

You didn't want to see the way that Odile was looking at you, but you couldn't help yourself. You had to look. You had to look at her. Your hands tightened in Mirabelle's as you raised your head.

Odile's expression was… hard. Stone. There was none of the softness that Mirabelle had shown you. Odile looked at you like you were…

Like you were nothing…

"You shouldn't push yourself even harder than you already have," Odile continued. "You've already done enough. Let us take care of The King. You and Boniface can wait out here."

"What?" Bonnie yelled out. "No! No way! I'm not-"

You stopped listening.

You stopped breathing.

You stopped thinking.

You fell to your knees, hands still held in Mirabelle's. "Siffrin!"

You felt cold.

No, you felt worse than cold.

You felt like a corpse. You felt like fertilizer. You'd be better off if you curled up and died on the floor right then and there.

You all had your roles…

Your role was…. nothing…

You laughed. Or maybe you sobbed. It was hard to tell. It didn't matter when it devolved into coughing anyway. Coughing turned into choking.

You hacked up flower after flower, spitting them onto the floor at your friends feet.

You coughed and you cried and you choked and--

You woke up in a field.

That was okay. You probably wouldn't have beaten The King anyway.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

You decide to focus on helping your friends. You might as well, right? You weren't good at anything else! All you could do was cough and die to The King and fail at being anything to anyone!

But maybe there was something that even someone like you could do.

So you tried to help them.

You taught Bonnie's how to fight, and you looped, and you commiserated with Mirabelle, and you looped, and you searched for a familytale, and you looped, and listened to Isabeau's troubles, and you looped, and you found a way to fight The King, and you…

And you won!

You won!

You beat The King!

You beat The King… and you looped anyway.

You… really were useless, weren't you.

You laughed so hard you cried. Then you cried so hard you choked. Then you choked so hard that you couldn't even feel Mirabelle's healing craft working on you as she desperately tried to heal you.

When you woke up again, it didn't even feel like it mattered.

Every loop you only got worse. You only got more useless. Mirabelle and Odile were probably right that they could just fight The King without you. You were barely better than dead weight at this point.

You still wanted to see her though.

Even if you knew that you didn't deserve to, even if you knew that you were a worthless, disgusting, parasite of a person, you still wanted to… be near her.

You went to get the familytale and you brought it to Odile.

You sidestepped her questions about how you knew what she wanted and you just… listened. You listened as she shared more of herself with you than she ever had before. You thought about the fact that you only had this knowledge, this moment, because you were stuck in time. You thought about the fact that she never would have chosen to share this with you if you things were normal.

Would she have told you any of this if she didn't think you were all going to die tomorrow?

Would she have told you any of this, if you hadn't manipulated her by giving her the exact thing that she's wanted all along?

Would she ever want to see you again if she knew?

"Siffrin?" You turned your head in Odile's direction, but you weren't seeing her. You weren’t seeing anything. She reached out toward you, but she stopped before touching you. "Siffrin, you're crying."

"I…" You didn't know what to say. You didn't know how to explain this.

You blinked, hoping that would get rid of the tears but it didn't. You wiped your face on your cloak, but more tears took the place of those that you were wiping away.

"I… I don't…"

Odile sighed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

She couldn't have looked anymore like she didn't believe you if she was calling you a liar to your face. You deserved that, but it made you cough a few times, anyway.

Odile slammed the familytale closed and put it on the opposite side of her on the bench. She turned to face him, reaching into her pocket and producing a handkerchief, which she offered to him.

He took it.

"Siffrin, talk to me, please. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

You… didn't know what you could say. How could you put any of your problems into words? How could you show your worthless self and talk about your selfish problems with someone like Odile? How could you let yourself bring her down that way?

"I… I didn't mean to.."

"Siffrin, it's fine. I'm not angry at you." She sighed, looking distinctly uncertain before she scooted closer to you. She still wasn't touching you, but she wasn't as careful about the distance between the two of you, either. "Just… I want to help."

"Why?" You couldn't stop yourself from asking the question. "Why do you… Why bother?"

Because at this point, you really weren't sure why she was bothering with someone like you. Someone that was so… awful.

The look Odile gave you was almost confused. "I would have hoped that it was obvious by now, but I suppose I only have myself to blame."

You weren't sure what she was talking about, but by this point your tears had stopped. At least enough that you could see her clearly.

"Siffrin, I don't enjoy seeing you in distress. If I can help you, I would like to do so. I would have thought that that was something of a given, since you saw fit to help me."

"So.. you want to help me because I helped you first."

Odile stared at him. "Do you really think so little of me that-"

"No!" You yelled louder than you meant to, immediately doubling over as coughed into her handkerchief. "No, I… I don't…"

"Calm down first, then you can try to speak."

You… tried. You spent a few more minutes coughing. When you were done, Odile handed you her canteen to drink from.

"Feeling a bit better?" she asked.

You nodded slowly.

"Good. You shouldn't hold things like this inside, Siffrin."

"You're one to talk," you muttered.

Odile barked a laugh. "I suppose that's fair. How about this, let's make an agreement. I'll talk about my problems more if you do the same."

"Will you really?" You asked quietly.

She smiled. "You can hold me to it. Once we beat The King, we'll talk."

You weren't sure if you could keep that promise, but you would try.

"Alright. Once we beat The King."

You thought that you might have been looking forward to talking to Odile.

So of course, you don't make it to The King. Stupid you forgot about the stupid rock and got stupidly crushed.

So that was a dead promise that only you remembered now.

Wouldn't be the first one, but this one… hurt… even more.

You clutched at your chest as you coughed. It was hard to breathe. It was… always hard to breathe. You didn't think that you had much time left. You needed to save them all while you still could.

If you still could.

You hadn't been doing a very good job of saving anyone.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

You practically ran to the Favor Tree. You threw yourself down among the roots and beat your fist against the bark. You hit the tree over and over and over again.

"Why is this happening? Why are you doing this to me?"

You hit it harder and harder. You screamed louder and louder.

"Why? Why? WHY?"

You beat the tree until your fist was bloody and your throat was raw. You coughed in between blows, but you didn't stop. You just pounded your fist one after the other, demanding answers that you knew you would never get.

"Tell me why? Tell me!"

"Sif!"

Someone grabbed your wrist, holding it tightly. Gently.

You spun around, your eye wild as you tried to pull your hand away, only to be met with Isabeau's face staring right at you. He looked… concerned. Of course he was concerned. He probably thought you were crazy.

You probably were crazy. Who wouldn't be crazy?

Slowly, carefully, as if he was afraid to set you off, he pulled your hand away from the tree. He'd gone through so much trouble not to touch you before, but now he wouldn't let you go.

"Hey, buddy… What, uh, what did the tree do to you?"

You… couldn't tell him.

You didn't know what to tell him.

You let the tension leak out of your body. You felt exhausted. Your fist and your throat were both bloody and throbbing. You could feel the blood pooling in your mouth, but you didn't want to spit it out. Not where Isabeau could see.

Not that it would make that much of a difference when he had already seen you like… this.

"Let's get you to Mira, okay?"

You shook your head. You didn't want Mirabelle to see you like this. Not the day before she had to fight The King. She didn't need to carry your weight on top of everyone else's.

"I think I'm gonna have to veto that, Sif." Isabeau's expression was still worried, but he managed to smile at you a little bit. "'Cause see, it looks like my friend Sif hurt his hand, and I think my other Mirabelle would want to help with that if she could."

You stared at the ground. Your mouth was full of blood and petals.

"I could leave to bring her here," he started. "But I'm kind of concerned about leaving you alone right now. And also…" He looked at the tree, where your blood was splattered against the bark. "I think seeing this would make her even more worried, if I'm honest."

You thought about that. You're surprised that Isabeau let you think about it for as long as he did. Eventually though, you nodded.

"Alright! Then we'll go see Mirabelle!"

Isabeau hesitated before releasing your hand, then again before he decided to stand.

You looked to the side and spat out your mouthful of blood and petals. Isabeau didn't comment on it, but there was no way that he didn't see it. He was hovering at your side, undecided if he wanted to offer you a hand up or not.

You got up on your own. No reason to get blood all over him.

The two of you walked over to where Mirabelle was. She looked alarmed as soon as you showed her your bloodied hand.

"Oh no, what happened?" she asked worriedly. You felt the soothing balm of healing craft washing you. One hand, then the other. You… hesitated to ask her to heal your throat, but Isabeau did that for you.

"Uh, Mira? Do you think you can get his throat too? I, um, think he might have…"

Isabeau didn't have to explain further. Her hands hovered around your face as she begun to heal your throat too, soothing the raw scrape you felt from screaming and coughing.

The flowers were still there. You felt the heaviness in your lungs. Itt was still just that little bit difficult to breathe. It would get worse, you knew, the moment you laid eyes on Odile. But for now it was… manageable.

"Sif, do you want to talk about…" Isabeau trailed off, respecting you enough not to point out what happened in front of Mirabelle.

She jumped in anyway, eager to try and help. "If you need to talk, you know that we're here to listen, right?"

You shook your head and turned as if you would leave. Isabeau stepped in front of you.

"Yeah, not sure that's the best idea, Sif." He smiled at you, but it wasn't the smile you were used to. "Come for a walk with me?"

You sighed and nodded. You liked isabeau. You didn't mind spending time with him even if you were worried about what exactly he would say to you. He took you to the hill overlooking the house. The old lady that was usually there had gone, leaving the bench free for the two of you to sit on.

"So." He paused, looking at you. "Do you want to start or…"

He gave you another chance to approach this conversation on your own terms.

You… didn't take it.

"Alright, guess I have to be the one to do this," he said. He turned to properly face you, expression serious. "I wasn't going to say anything, since we have to fight The King tomorrow and all, but… I noticed that you seemed kinda sick lately?"

You nodded. You still didn't know what to say. You tried to curl into your cloak and disappear.

"Do you want to talk about that?" he asked cautiously.

"What is there to say?" you asked.

He stared at you.

He stared at you for a long time. Long enough that you were starting to suspect there had been a right answer to that question and you'd chosen wrong.

He folded his arms. "Alright, don't take this the wrong way, but… do you know what you have, Sif?"

You hesitated before nodding. Your uncertainty must have shown through.

"Alright. Okay. So. That kind of disease… it only comes from repressed feelings. So… you need to… talk about your feelings… for it to go away?"

You stared at him.

He stared back.

"That's it?" you asked, dumbfounded.

"Well, it's a little more complicated than that but… yeah?" He shrugged stiffly.

You knew that that couldn't be all there was to it. Part of you knew that your feelings had to be reciprocated in order to fix things. It couldn't be as simple as…

But Isabeau sounded like he knew what he was talking about. And you… you weren't even sure how you knew what you knew.

"I can't…"

"I'm going to stop you right there, Sif." He reached out for a moment, as if he was going to place a hand on your shoulder. He hesitated, nearly dropping his hand, before continuing the original action and reaching out anyway.

You flinched. but only a little.

To Isabeau's credit, he didn't remove his hand. "You can tell us anything, Sif! Whatever it is, I'm sure that any of us would be willing to listen. Just… trust in us a little bit? Please?"

You did trust them. That wasn't the problem, you just… didn't want to burden them.

"Just… think about it today?" Isabeau urged. "I know we have to fight The King tomorrow, but maybe you'd have a clearer head if you got this off your chest first? Or maybe you want to wait until after we defeat him? Just… please don't wait too long? I… don't want to watch something like this eating away at you."

Anymore, went unsaid. It was clear that he had noticed a while ago. Maybe if it wasn't for the loops, he would have waited even longer to talk to you. He didn't know that you were already much worse than whatever he'd seen before.

And… you already made a promise, didn't you? To talk to her? Even if she didn't remember, you… you promised. So you had to. You would.

After you beat The King, you would talk to Odile.

You nodded. "Alright, Isa. Thanks."

He smiled, a proper one this time. "Anytime, Sif!"

Anytime…

You… wanted to believe that.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

You didn't sleep that night. You couldn't. There was too much on your mind.

You waited until everyone went to bed and then you got up and went outside to look at the stars.

You had promises to keep tomorrow, but you weren't certain that doing so would actually help you. You weren't certain that anything would help you. But you had to at least try, right? For them?

You turned when you heard the door open behind you, surprised to see Odile striding out and coming to sit beside you. "I thought I might find you out here."

"Couldn't sleep?" you asked her.

She gave you a wry smile. "I could ask you the same thing."

You turned your gaze back toward the sky. "Just… thinking. About tomorrow," you told her.

Odile's gaze didn't waiver from you. You could feel her eyes on you and it made you feel… warm. For the first time in a long time. "Yes, there is a lot about tomorrow to worry about," she agreed. "But are you certain that it isn't today's events that are weighing on you?"

You turned to look at her, wide eyed with surprise. "Huh?"

"The others were rather obvious that they were worried about you," she told you. "Mirabelle couldn't stop watching you and Isabeau was only marginally more subtle."

You lowered your face to hide in your cloak. "Oh…"

Odile smirked. "Oh, indeed. Do you want to tell me what that was all about?"

You consider it, though still aren't still what to say. Your promise was for tomorrow though, so you didn't feel bad waiting.

"After we beat The King,' you told her, parroting her own words back at her. "And… only if you tell me something, too."

Odile's smirk widened. "A bargain, is it? Alright, Siffrin, you have yourself a deal. Once we defeat The King, I'll be looking forward to you fulfilling your bargain."

You would be too.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Going through the house was relatively easy.

Relatively, because you could still feel the heaviness in your lungs. By the time you got to the second floor, you were coughing more and more. By the time you got to the third floor, you were struggling to breathe.

This time, when Mirabelle tried to confront you, you didn't let her.

"We need everyone we can get, Mira. We can't afford to let me slow you all down."

She didn't like this answer. You could tell that she didn't. But she didn't try and insist that you stay behind. She hovered her hands over your body and pushed healing craft into you. It provided enough temporary relief that you thought you'd be able to get through the battle with The King, but probably not much further.

That was fine. You just needed to beat The King.

If you could do that much… if you could do that and then tell Odile how you really felt…

If you could just fulfill the promises that you made to her, you thought that you would be able to die happy.

You were practically dead on your feet by the time you finished fighting The King, but you pressed forward. You shielded Odile as you made your way to where the Head Housemaiden waited.

You… didn't think that you had the energy to make the rounds of talking to the others. You waited for everyone to go their separate ways and then you turned to face Odile, ready to keep your promise.

You opened your mouth and you… coughed.

You coughed hard and wet. Blood and flowers spilled onto the floor in front of you and pitched forward.

"Siffrin!" You were in Odile's arms before you knew it, as she kept you from falling to the floor.

"I… I promised…" You wheezed, coughing more as you tried to desperately clear the obstruction in your throat. You spat out more blood and flowers, staring at the pile of wisterias that were gathering beneath you. You couldn't let them stop you. "I said that I would… would tell you…"

You could hear the rest of your family rushing toward you. But it was distant, you couldn't really pay attention to it.

You reached up to put a hand on Odile's arm, wanting to make sure that you had her attention on you.

"Siffrin." Stars, she sounded scared. You didn't want to do that to her, but… you didn't think you had a choice. You thought you might have been out of time, so you had to do it now.

"I… was really happy… getting to know you." You coughed and coughed, but you wouldn't let that stop you. Blood was on your lips, but you just spat it out so that you could continue. "I liked… how you always listened to me… and… and spending time with you…"

There was a small burst of healing craft, but you barely felt it.

"Gems alive, Siffrin!"

"I… really care about you, Odile." You forced the words out and forced a smile to your lips while you were at it. "I… I love you. So I really want… more than anything…" Your throat felt like it might have been closing up on you. "I want to get… closer to you…"

Odile was clutching at you tightly. Your vision was blurry. Your throat burned.

You couldn't breathe…

"Gems, Siffrin, of course I feel the same!" She sounded… almost angry to say so. It made you happy to hear either way.

You smiled…

Then everything went dark.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

You didn't wake up in a field.

You could tell that almost immediately. There wasn't the blue of an open sky above you. There wasn't the hardness of the grass and ground beneath you. You didn't know where you were, but you knew where you weren't.

"Ah, you're awake." You jolted as you looked beside you, surprised to see Odile sitting beside your bed. She closed the book resting in her lap. "You gave everyone quite a scare, Siffrin."

The bags under her eyes looked even heavier. You wondered if she hadn't been sleeping well.

"S-sorry…"

"Hmm." She leaned closer to you, pressing a hand to your forehead. You jumped at the contact, and then stilled, holding your breath as if keeping still would be enough to prolong the contact. "It's not surprising," she added. "The Head Housemaiden said that you were suffering from craft exhaustion on top of… everything else."

"Oh…" You didn't know what else to say, so you didn't say anything at all.

Odile watched you closely for a moment before finally pulling her hand away, almost reluctantly. "You passed out on me before I could fulfill my end, so if you would allow me?"

She waited for you to respond. You nodded, pulling the blanket up a bit higher so that you could hide in it the same way you did with your cloak.

Odile began slowly. "I'm not as good at these… feelings talks as Mirabelle or Isabeau, but I rather thought that the two of us had an understanding."

You tilted your head as you listened to her.

"The two of them were always more alike than not. Initiating group hugs, being loud and excitable, wearing their emotions on their sleeve. It's honestly exhausting at times."

You nodded. You could definitely agree with that. You weren't as open with your emotions, but even if you were, you didn't think you'd ever be able to be as big or loud as them.

"Right," she sighed again. "I always found more similarities between the two of us. It's easier to be around you than either of them, easier to just… exist comfortably without the need to fill silence and we enjoy similar enough activities to be on our own together for far longer than the others."

You agreed. You always thought, hoped, that the two of you got along well.

"So you can see why it might surprise me to learn that you doubted my feelings enough to become sick over it." The look that she gave you was almost pained. You didn't like that you made her look that way. You had to look away before you could answer.

"It… It's not that you… did anything…" You had to say that first, because you didn't want her thinking that this was her fault. You were the one that was greedy and selfish, after all. "It's just… I know that you don't really like… feelings and touch and… and being close to people. So it's… really selfish of me to want more, isn't it?"

Odile laughed. "Siffrin, if you're selfish, then you're finding yourself in rather good company. For all that I may not seem as if I am as attached to you all, I can assure you that I am." She smiled as she looked down at him. "And it's rather cute to find out that you care about me so much."

Your face darkened and you pulled the blanket higher. "It's not…"

"It absolutely is," she said, talking over you. The teasing smile on her face lessened a bit and she leaned closer to you. She placed her hand on your forehead again and you leaned into it. "And Siffrin… I want to be closer to you, too. All of you, but also… just you."

You looked at her with your eye wide, and she looked back, unblinking.

You felt warm.

You felt good.

You didn't look away from her as you said, very softly, "I love you."

Odile's expression was just as soft as she answered. "Yes, I love you, as well. Perhaps next time it won't take you nearly dying for us to come to this understanding."

She smiled.

You smiled with her.

You felt… at peace.

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 7

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Hey All! I've been pretty low lately so this is coming up late and I am sorry.

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Summery; In which fem!reader is the little sister of John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite of JJ Maybank but he finds himself falling for her and he stop himself from doing so.

Pairing; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 1,950

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

Drown .07

(Y/n)

I usually don't hang out with Sarah or Kie - scratch that, I never really did. But when John B bats his ridiculous eyelashes with a puppy like plead, I usually could never tell him no. You could say that both of us like to use our puppy charm on each other. I couldn't complain though, I was having a good time with Sarah and Kie. I didn't have any other girlfriends than the two older ladies, one practically married to my brother and the other in love with his best friend, unexpectedly becoming the only two girls I could trust and hang around. It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter either.

And that's how I ended up positioned on the sofa in Sarah Cameron's little, but luxurious apartment her father handed over to her in a way to apologize to her. Of course, she hadn't accepted the apology but she needed the place to stay and it was probably the closest way she could get that as of right now. I'd much rather be sat up at home with a well over-sugared up drink and left over wrappers from numerous little bars of KitKat's but I wasn't entirely miserable lounging around with Kie and Sarah either. I had nothing else better to do on a Friday night and we weren't doing anything crazy. We were just sat on the small pieces of furniture, having a conversation.

I wasn't exactly the one having the conversation. Kie and Sarah were having their own little conversation about the boy troubles they'd been having with JJ and John B. I had no love interest to talk about so I found no need to pay much attention, let alone jump in with my two cents. So I was absent minded for the time being.

"(Y/n/n)?"

"Huh?" I said, my posture straightening once I realized my attention needed to be somewhere it truly mattered now.

"You're really quiet. What's up?" the blonde pointed out, pulling her legs up and crossing them over each other. She looked genuinely concerned and it made me question if JJ had mentioned to them about the incident that happened at work, which gave me all the more reason to try not to be suspicious. If John B found out then I'd never be able to work a day in my life again.

I shook my head, "I just don't have much to talk about," my shoulders rising up and falling back down. I truly wasn't interested in anyone and I partially had John B to blame for that. Most boys I did show interest in would only be shot down by my brother because he didn't like how the boy acted, where he came from, or just in general didn't like the idea of me being around him. I was a hopeless romantic but I wasn't exactly miserable, either.

I had nothing to really complain about because most of those boys eventually turned out to be exactly what John B warned me about. I had nothing but gratitude for him, regardless of his repetitive ways of protecting me.

"Have you ever been in love, (Y/n)?" the girl's brows furrowed.

All I could do was shake my head, which I guess seemed shocking to hear from a sixteen-year-old girl because Sarah seemed surprised. Maybe it was because no one really seemed to acknowledge the fact that I've never had a romantic connection with anyone other than fantasy characters on my favorite T.V. shows. I had no experience in that department-- most assumed I at least had a first kiss or even a hand-holding memory but I didn't. I was a virgin in almost every section and nothing was checked off the list.

"Well that's gonna have to change this summer," she said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"What?"

"Yep,"

"You can't force love, Sarah," I groaned.

"No, but you can put yourself out there more (Y/n/n)." Sarah pointed in my direction, giving me that certain look. Yknow, that look a person gives you when they know they're right and all you can do is let out a small puff of air in defeat.

"I've tried, Sarah. That doesn't work in my favor,"

I tried so many times to put myself out there, but almost every time I had I was proven I should have never done so in the first place. The men now of days wanted nothing more than to tear into the innocence of inexperienced girls in order to show off to their friends and I wasn't going to be some trophy, I knew better than that-- I wanted more than that.

It wasn't my fault that most guys were dickheads and found that reserving myself for the right guy was prudish. I wanted to make sure that if I was going to do anything with a guy, he was going to be the right person to do it with and so far, none of them fit that category yet. I wasn't going to let some self-centered asshole get under my skin about wanting to be with the right guy.

I was tempted to call John B and beg him to bring me home, I knew he'd pick up in a heartbeat knowing I was waiting for his answer on the other end of the line. Only I knew that if I called I'd have to explain to him why I didn't want to stay and endure the fact that he wouldn't take, 'nothing John B,' as an answer. I also didn't want to cause unnecessary arguing between my brother and his lover because they haven't been on the best of terms recently anyway.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place-- with no other options on my plate.

I could feel myself letting my mind wander off too far because every word slipping from Sarah's mouth became nothing but muffled sounds and I could do nothing but scold myself internally while trying to snap back to reality. Maybe it was just the topic of boys that hit home for me, or maybe it was just I found more comfort inside my head than expressing my trauma in fear that it would be passed down to my brother who eventually would never be able to live with himself if he knew the truth about my life and experiences.

John B's whole existence seemed to revolve around the simple task of keeping me out of harm's way, but even he couldn't do that and I don't blame him one bit for. He couldn't stand at my side for the rest of his life and I think even deep down, he knew that but he tried to be. He tries to be the big brother he's supposed to be but sometimes he also has to be a father and a mother at the same time and that's something he doesn't necessarily know how to be-- especially when he didn't get the luxury of feeling the parent love himself for a long period of time.

It was rough on him, too.

I knew he tried to keep himself together in front of me and everyone else— how he refused to have others worry about him when they had worse problems to focus on, and I'd never tell him this because I'd hate to see his face fall while I'd tell him but there have been multiple times where I've caught him sobbing—the kind of sobbing where you can't seem to make a noise but the broken plastered all over your face explains every ounce of pain you are feeling inside. Those moments are enough to break me, seeing my brother suffer in silence only to bounce back when he has to show his face around everyone is just a type of pain I can barely handle on the hardest days.

However, I wasn't too far gone to realize the immense buzzing at my side.

I glanced down, taking a quick peek at the caller ID, and realized it was the devil himself; John B.

You probably need to stop thinking about him, he can most definitely hear your thoughts.

A mix of shock and confusion filtered through my face but I reluctantly brought the device to my ear, not bothering to scan through the possible outcomes that were to come after picking up this call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Pougie," My brother slurred a tad with his words. He was tipsy but not completely gone. He sounded in distress, which was never good to hear when we were separated.  "I'm sorry to call you like this and interrupt your girls' night-"

"You didn't interrupt," I interrupt, trying to reassure him, "What's going on?"

"It's JJ."

My face fell the moment I heard his name, "What's wrong?"

I'm not sure why, but when it comes to JJ and drinking it always seems to end unpleasantly and I always assume something is wrong-- most times, it's nothing and they just need me to come help take care of him but there are other times when the boy has held too much in than he bursts when liquor comes into the equation.

I could hear a sigh on the other end before he continued, "He's drunk too much again and I kinda need your help. You're better at this stuff than I am,"

A part of me was inching for him to get on with it-- blurt it out if you will but then the other part was terrified to find out what kind of trouble JJ could have gotten himself into tonight.

"What do you mean?"

"It's like he exploded again (Y/n/n)," I could hear the worry beginning to devour his tone and at that moment I could feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

"Yeah, I can come home."

"He's been asking for you and said you're the only one he can talk to about this."

My facial expression morphed into full on confusion, and quite a bit of concern for JJ's state of mind currently.

Why am I the only person he can talk to?

"A-alright, I'll be there shortly then?"

I can hear a faint but familiar voice in the background of the call before John B could respond to me, "Is she coming?"

"Yeah man, she's on her way," my brother retorted with what I can only imagine of a small head nod.

A small pause filled the room on the other end and even on my own, I suppose no one really knew what to say until John B broke the silence.

"I'll see you soon (Y/n/n). Be careful and call me if you need me to pick you up, Okay?" 

I wasn't sure If I wanted to trust the boy's driving in this state of mind. He was decent, even when he wasn't sober but nonetheless, he still gave me practical anxiety attacks each time we drove while he was intoxicated. I think I'd rather take my chances of walking home than I would take being in a vehicle with John B currently.

"I'll see you soon JB and I'll be okay," I wander off out of the living room to find my belongings before reluctantly ending the ten-minute long phone call.

For a moment, I fell back into my own little world but this time it was racking through the endless amount of horrible things that are currently going on with JJ, and how almost all of them ended the same exact way they always had.

Downing more liquor.

The boy had a liver, I'd give him that but I worried about him and how much longer he could keep up with this before something more critical was to happen and there was nothing that anyone could do to fix it this time around.

He let himself drown every time.

[celestialmantdonna]

Groot and Drax exchanged glances as Reks and the other guard started speaking. Drax, always humble, mistakenly assumed that Arvin was an admirer of his who wanted to say hello. Groot, on the other hand, initially thought he had gotten in trouble for chasing the lizards.

The more the two men spoke, though, the more questions the two Guardians had. Looking at each other, Drax and Groot shrugged simultaneously, neither of them knowing what Reks and Arvin were talking about. Apparently, the Guardians had uncovered a plot against the King and Prince of Dalmasca.

"We have?" Drax asked with both hands resting on his belt. But when he saw the look Groot gave him, he stood taller. "Yes, we have indeed."

"Why is everyone trying to kill everyone today?" Groot asked, though only Drax would understand him. He stood on Reks' shoulder carefully. "I don't get it... Why?!"

"Exactly!" Drax said with vehemence. "Why would anyone want to kill the Prince? He is beautiful!"

"Maybe someone's jealous of the way he looks and they think he has to die," Groot suggested innocently. It seemed like a perfectly logical explanation in his young mind, but saying it aloud made it appear all the more real, and he gasped audibly. "Oh no! What are we gonna do?"

"We do not know if that is certain," Drax replied. After a brief pause, he added, "But it seems plausible."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

Mantis smiled at the maid when she complimented her, before gesturing for Elin to follow her.

"Thank you! Elin... That's a pretty name! Come sit, please." She ushered the young woman to the sofa; it would help in case Elin needed to lay down due to the delicate nature of the topic at hand.

"Elin, as you can probably tell... I am not a human, or... hume, as you say. I possess certain... abilities," she began. "There is a reason why I wanted to speak to you privately. I am an empath. I am able to read others, and I can feel sources of energy. Life. Like the life sir Azelas attempted to take from me. So in return, I made him tell us his... um, tell us his secrets."

Mantis held out a hand so Elin could take it if she needed. "If there is anything I can help you with..."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

Gamora stood still and showed a blank expression as Raminas spoke with his son, though she nodded politely and offered a small smile when Caelen thanked her and said he would assist the Guardians as they needed.

"Just remember to get us the blade for my teammate and that will be enough repayment. It will make her smile." Her tone was a little more engaging and friendly this time, betraying the smallest hint of playfulness.

Moments later, Gamora was a bit surprised when Munoh reappeared, but it gladdened her to know that they brought word from Nabradia.

Apparently, Prince Rasler and Princes Eswynn would arrive sooner than intended; a formal dinner would take place. And Caelen wanted to... invite the Guardians? Gamora's eyes widened slightly, glancing and Munoh when they agreed with their chosen mortal.

"I will find my fellow teammates and tell them we have been invited. Thank you." She offered a polite nod. "Rest assured, we will not mention the invasion. I will inform my comrades of this as well."

With that, Gamora spun and left the throne room.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

Rocket and Quill were leaving the Benatar when they spotted Gamora from afar. Quill called her name, waving his arm with a big grin on his face.

"Gamora! Here!"

The woman saw them and approached the two Guardians. Her arms crossed over her chest.

"Any luck with the ship?"

"It's gonna take me a while to fix it, that much I can tell ya," Rocket replied. "Until then, I made somethin' to... uh... y'know, help improve Mantis' abilities."

"How?" Gamora asked.

"Uh, I dunno, remember that one time when she put a livin' planet to sleep? 'Cause you saw it, I saw it, we all saw it. The girl doesn't know how powerful she is, but I do. She's said before that she can't dull her powers. That means they can only grow. This will simply... dial 'em up to eleven. She'll be able to fuck shit up."

"I see." Gamora nodded and straightened. "I thought you said you don't care about us."

"You know me, I love a little mayhem and she's got the power. There's a lotta potential for chaos there."

"In any case..." Gamora smirked and shook her head. "We have been invited to have dinner with the royal family tonight, as well as the Prince and Princess of Nabradia."

"Huh?" Rocket narrowed his eyes.

"It's a celebration," Gamora clarified.

"A celebration," Rocket repeated numbly. And then he broke into a fit of laughter.

"What are we celebrating?" Quill asked.

"The wedding. Princess Ashelia is going to marry Prince Rasler. And I... I suspect it's an arrangement," Gamora said, remembering how anxious Ashelia seemed when she told Gamora and Mantis about the event.

"And why the fuck should we give a shit 'bout the wedding?" Rocket barked.

"Yeah, I don't get it either. Why would the King invite us?"

"The King didn't invite us. Caelen did," Gamora clarified.

"Ah, of course." Rocket rolled his eyes. "Of course Prince Charming's gonna take us under his wing, Mantis was able to get along with his invisible friend after all. Wonderful."

"Dude..." The Star-Lord's voice was a whisper. "Dinner means there will be food..."

The two stared at each other for a moment as Gamora's hands moved to rest on her hips.

"Okay, fine, we're goin', whatever," Rocket said.

"We must not mention the invasion in front of the Prince and Princess of Nabradia," Gamora explained. "King Raminas believes Prince Rasler might want to go defend his home which is... understandable. For his safety, we should refrain from bringing that up."

Another Time, Another Place (A Hollow Universe In Space) || closed with tarnishedxknight

@tarnishedxknight continued from here

The Guardians stood there, letting Captain Basch formally introduce them to King Raminas. They all then bowed respectfully except for Rocket, who only did so because Gamora pushed his head down. They trusted Basch for the most part, as he assured them no one would hurt them after telling them to leave their weapons at the ship. Quill and Gamora were the first ones to leave theirs; Drax didn't want to leave his knives, but did so after Mantis looked at him, while Rocket pulled a comical amount of retractable weapons from his pockets.

As they followed Basch, Mantis had stayed behind for a moment to approach Vossler. She felt much better after Munoh sent her some calm energy, and she smirked at the man. Suddenly, her hand was on his cheek, her antennae aglow. "Whenever you open your mouth to say something unkind, you will wail like a baby. Honestly, it might be more coherent than anything else you have said," she whispered. She patted his cheek twice as if to seal her whimsical behest, and hurried to follow the Guardians as Basch guided them through the palace of Rabanastre.

Quill straightened and cleared his throat to speak to the King. Mantis took his hand; Quill was a little confused, but he allowed it since he knew she wasn't feeling great.

"Your Majesty," he said, once again lowering his voice in an attempt to mirror Basch's formal tone and presence, hoping it would make the King like him more. "We come in peace. We thank you for your time, and we apologize for occupying one of your docks. I think I have–" He stopped talking rather suddenly, and swallowed. "Uh... I think... I have..."

What was happening was that Mantis was frantically reading his thoughts as he spoke, using her powers to interrupt him because he was going to say he had the perfect stuff to make up for it, wanting to show the King some Terran music with the Zune. While Terran music was excellent, Mantis knew not everyone would like it, nor find it an acceptable form of apology.

"I have no excuse," Quill said instead. "And I have to... shut up... now."

[meatmensch]

*jenny slate voice* i had to stop reading the battle of the labyrinth cuz it made me too crazy!!

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

candace flynn is THE most teenage girl character of all time. she is at level 100 anxiety 24/7. she shows her love for her brothers by trying to get them in trouble constantly. her neck is as long as her forearm. she features on a blues album after having an allergic reaction. she has a shrine to her boyfriend in her room. she can't live without her phone. she has a panic room in the basement. she plays 20 instruments that all start with the letter B. she read all of sherlock holmes in one night. she's seen their platypus running around as a secret agent more than once, assumed she was hallucinating each time, and moved on with her life while telling no one. she likes wrestling video games. she was rutabaga princess. she has a billion people to email memes to but when she's trying to think of friends she can only think of four people and one of them is her mom. most animals hate her except monkeys. she invented grilled cheese flavored ice cream. she pretended to be irish for a week. she's autistically obsessed with her universe's version of barney. she writes marvel fanfiction. she does parkour. there's an entire archive of her voice actress screaming just in case her voice ever gave out while recording. she sees her brothers build time machines and rollercoasters every day but doesn't believe in santa. when she starts scheming the wicked witch of the west theme starts playing in the background. she was elected queen of mars. she won a "mayor for the day" essay competition. there's a random person in town who's been avoiding her to the point she doesn't know he exists. she learned how to parallel park by driving a monster truck. she thinks the plural of moose is "meese." she tracks her mom with a GPS. she doesn't know her little brother's full name. she's scared of heights, spiders, and the number seven. when her boyfriend told her he'd call "soon" she started doing complex math to try and figure out when exactly that would be. her first thought upon seeing her royal doppelganger was to go to the laundromat and fill all the dryers with cheese. she earned 50 not-girl-scout patches in one day through sheer determination. she can run fast enough to catch up to moving cars. she can sense when ground is broken in the backyard and when people are judging her. one time she got her face caught in the sink. her brothers carved her into mount rushmore. every now and again a magical zebra appears, calls her kevin, and then disappears again. she killed 99% of an alien invasion with a t-shirt cannon. in an alternate universe she's leading a regime-destroying resistance at the age of 15. she's being accidentally gaslit every day of her life.