#and how easy they are into manipulating and how easily they justify those choices

[trekkele]

Actually, i think Lucifer (tv) season 4 was a good ending and a thematically interesting place to end the story.

[poppyquills]

⊹₊⟡⋆ Jinx yandere alphabet HCs ⊹₊⟡⋆

⋆˚✿˖° warnings -> mentions of abuse, killing, etc.

⋆˚✿˖° content includes -> just a very toxic relationship.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Abuse = Could they ever hurt you physically or mentally? What would be the reason?

Jinx would never intentionally harm you physically unless she’s in a complete breakdown or feels utterly betrayed. Mentally, though, she’s manipulative and emotionally intense. She justifies it by saying she’s doing it out of love and fear of losing you.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Both = You are a Yandere too, what's their reaction?

If you’re a Yandere too, Jinx would be thrilled. She’d see it as confirmation that you belong together. The relationship would be chaotic but oddly harmonious, as both of you would feed into each other’s obsession, creating a toxic yet unbreakable bond.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Crazy = How easy do they enter crazy mode? How do they act when they are in it?

Jinx slips into “crazy mode” very easily, especially if she feels you’re slipping away from her or someone threatens your bond. She becomes volatile and destructive, often targeting anything—or anyone—that gets in the way.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Difference = When can you notice different behavior in them?

Her behavior shifts noticeably when she becomes obsessed with you. She would go from her usual chaotic antics to a more focused intensity. She would hover around you more often, showering you with attention one moment and pouting if she feels ignored the next.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Enjoy = Do they enjoy what they're doing to you, your life and people around you? Do they show it?

Jinx enjoys the control and closeness she has over you. While she doesn’t fully understand how her actions affect your life negatively, she takes pride in keeping you “safe” and away from harm, even if it isolates you.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Force = Are they willing to force you into loving them? How will they do it?

Yes, Jinx is willing to force you into loving her. She might use manipulation, guilt-tripping, or even isolate you from others so you have no choice but to rely on her. She would create situations where you see her as your only source of comfort.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Gross = What is something they think is really romantic/sweet but is actually horrifying?

Jinx might leave “romantic” messages in the form of graffiti around the city, often paired with unsettling imagery or threats to those who might take you away. She thinks it’s sweet, but it’s undeniably terrifying.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Hide = How easy is it to hide from them?

Hiding from Jinx is almost impossible. She’s resourceful, cunning, and relentless when it comes to tracking you down. She knows Zaun like the back of her hand and will always find a way to bring you back. The only way that you might be able to escape her is if you hide in Piltover.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Improve = Will they be willing to recover from this psychotic state for their lover?

Jinx is unlikely to recover from her psychotic state. She’s deeply scarred by her past and sees her obsession with you as a coping mechanism. The only way she might improve is if you actively work with her to heal, but even then, it’s a slim chance.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Justification = Why are they acting like that? When did it started?

Her obsession likely started when she saw you as someone who wouldn’t abandon her, unlike others in her life. She justifies her behavior as protecting her “one constant” in a chaotic world.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Kidnap = Are they willing to kidnap you? If so how will they do it, for how long will they keep you away and where?

Yes, Jinx is more than willing to kidnap you if she feels it’s the only way to keep you safe. She’d lure you to her hideout with promises of fun or gifts, and once there, she’d lock you away under the guise of “keeping you out of danger.”

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Love me = How will they make you say "I love you"?

Jinx thrives on emotional dependence. She’d create scenarios where you have no one else to turn to but her, ensuring you come to her for comfort and validation until you finally say the words, “I love you.”

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Moving on = If you die or escape, will they be able to move on? How easy it'll be for them?

If you die, Jinx would spiral completely out of control, blaming herself and others for your loss. If you escape, she’d dedicate herself to finding you, believing you’re just playing a “fun game of hide and seek.” Moving on isn’t an option for her.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Non stop = How clingy they'll be when you're in relationship? How possessive are they? And how much free space do they give you?

Jinx is incredibly clingy and possessive. She constantly craves your attention and will pout or act out if she feels neglected. Free space is a foreign concept to her—she always wants to be near you.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Other = Someone else speaks or flirts with you, how would they react?

If someone else flirts with you, Jinx becomes immediately jealous and volatile. Depending on her mood, she’ll either confront them directly with threats or eliminate them altogether, leaving no room for competition.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Please take it = What presents do they usually give you? What's the worst and the best gift you got from them?

Jinx’s gifts range from quirky to unsettling. The best gift might be a beautifully crafted gadget or a heartfelt drawing of the two of you. The worst? Something like a “souvenir” from one of her victims—a grim reminder of her devotion.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Risk = How risky will they be with getting rid of rivals?

Jinx is highly risky when getting rid of rivals. She doesn’t care about subtlety, often leaving destruction in her wake. Her goal is to send a clear message: no one comes between you and her.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Sweet = Even when they're a Yandere they can be sweet. What's their sweet Yandere side?

Even in her Yandere state, Jinx can be incredibly sweet. She loves cuddling, crafting things for you, and sharing her favorite spots in Zaun. She genuinely wants you to be happy—so long as it’s with her.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Type = What type of Yandere are they?

Jinx is a possessive and obsessive Yandere. She’s also highly dependent on you, using her love for you as a way to cope with her inner turmoil.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Unsure = How much trust do they have in you? What happens if you break it?

Jinx has trust issues due to her past, so she’s always somewhat wary. If you break her trust, she’d feel betrayed and spiral into a frenzy, doing everything she can to regain control over you.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Welcome = Let's say they're a Yandere for you but you never had your first meeting... How do they initiate it?

Jinx would initiate your first meeting by creating a “chance encounter.” She’d set up an elaborate scenario where you’d cross paths and be forced to interact, ensuring you leave a lasting impression on her.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ Zealous = If everything fails, will they be able to kill their partner?

If everything fails, Jinx would rather kill you than let you leave her. In her twisted mind, it’s better to keep you with her forever, even if it means ending your life.

[bittrlys]

The Dragon Prince season 6 is like watching people write themselves into a corner in real time. Exciting! Massive spoilers ahead, of course.

THE GOOD

Opening on Aaravos crying was a very strong choice, this is the actual 'Mystery of Aaravos' type content I've been waiting for

Terry picking up Viren while they're excited about him being alive is very cute

As ever, Terry being extremely ride or die is 👍

Terry taking care of Claudia was very sweet; Terry cutting Claudia's hair and Claudia's new haircut in general. Cute.

Viren and Claudia on the beach, "No parent wants their child to suffer for them." Oof.

In general, I was quite happy with everything Viren, Claudia, and even Soren, and I actually wrote a note of "i hate soren" at the start because I thought we were gearing up for another season of him just being a bad joke machine with no real character or feelings to speak of. But then they gave him, like, actual pathos! They let him interact with people in a way that feels human! They let him be resentful and complicated! Wow! Magefam is so back baby!

Viren trying to reconcile with Soren and be a better example for Claudia really got to me. His final sacrifice (OMG CRIMINAL BY FIONA APPLE JUST CAME ON SHUFFLE.......WHAT I NEED IS A GOOD DEFENSE CUS I'M FEELING LIKE A CRIMINAL.......AND I NEED TO BE REDEEMED TO THE ONE I'VE SINNED AGAINST.....) is tied so strongly to his children and that feels like a natural place to leave his character. Now, I've been saying forever that he was going to get a redemption via death, and figured Aaravos would be the one pulling the trigger, so none of that surprised me, but I thought the actual execution was generally good. I do have some more negative thoughts but I'll save those for later.

Viren is very good at justifying himself, and I like that you see him falling back into that, at times struggling with it, at times not even catching himself doing it. It feels very real. At the same time, I don't think he's ever seen himself as a hero, so it was interesting to let him go out on such a heroic note.

Viren's kind of abuse-coded (not actually abusive, IMO, but I understand if this makes people uncomfortable in a similar way) act of forcing Lissa to cry into the vial is interesting. It echoes him taking Sarai's last breath.

Him writing out his whole confession on this subject and then burning it because he realized it was only going to do him good was also very nice.

Though I wish Claudia had stuck by her 'I'm going solo' guns a little longer, I still think there's something to how she is so incapable of being alone, of thinking for herself, and desperately seeks direction. She is literally just like her dad, and it makes them both easy targets for Aaravos.

Like, Viren being such a force that Claudia easily followed him, then Claudia being such a force that Soren and Terry both easily followed her, and Aaravos being a supreme force Viren and Claudia both easily follow because at heart, they're more followers than leaders despite the force of their personalities and ambitions -- it's interesting.

Aaravos using Sol Regem to casually destroy a kingdom and kill Viren just as a small step in his plan is pretty fun. We love a grandiose villain!

Looking forward to Claudia and Aaravos. She's in some ways even more unequipped than Viren to handle Aaravos's manipulations, but at the same time, she's a lot more unpredictable than Viren. If this leads up to a confrontation between them, I think that could be really cool.

Aaravos tragic backstory with deleted child was really not on my bingo card at all -- I never thought 'noble revenge' would be his motivation. I like how this parallels him to Viren.

Aaravos crying enough to fill a sea is great imagery

The lore of the startouch elves being actual stars that descend is SO COOL. This is like, the first bit of worldbuilding in this show that's actually seriously impressed me. I love it.

Actual lore as to why humans don't have magic. Well. Not entirely. But it's better than what we had.

I liked Amaya and Janai's wedding looks. Cute.

Janai like Ehe I'll bring out my armies after I get married 😜 is funny. She isn't a very good queen but she is the moment! The gossip blogs would love her.

Ezran eating shit and not having his """diplomacy""" work out. LMAO.

SOL REGEM DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Kinda getting a y'know vibe from Soren and Corvus. I wouldn't mind that. I like that Corvus feels a little more tolerant of Soren than everyone else. It's funny Soren is like finally I'm away from my shit family but his new friends don't seem to care about him at all. Go and be totally free of all this, dude, or get a boyfriend.

Runaan back just when I was starting to think this show really hates gay males.

Rayla correcting her assumption about the sex of the diary's author was cute with the voice over changing. (cont...)

THE BAD

(... cont.) Did unfortunately then make it feel like "Had to be a woman because the author will be pining for a man."

Why is Zym STILL just a dog. Bro. It's like if all through Avatar you had to be aware Appa was going to be king someday. STOP BARKING.

Waiting for the whole cast to become vegetarians and somehow I suspect that will not be happening

When Claudia is listing the spell ingredients she could harvest from that cat thing I was just desperate to have Terry go, "Well, some of those could be ethically harvested, right?"

I find prophecies fairly corny as a writing tool and I get why they're going there -- predicted futures are the source of the anti-human oppression -- but still, I sighed.

Luna Tenebris putting a collar on her pet feels like, weird, right? Right? Right? She's not human and dragons otherwise seem so Respect all magical creatures. (Allegedly.) What is the uneven treatment of animals in this universe.

Naming your episode Red Wedding and I don't see a bloodbath ... oh, come on.

That ramble about ships from Caleb. Shudder.

Jeez, who is Rayla going to save? Her uncle who is an actual character or her backstory parents who are obviously happy and at peace? God forbid one of our main heroes has an actual hard choice to make.

Related: Caleb's 5 second rehab from dark magic.

Making his inner truth being about one other person is ... well ....

Cutting from Viren's rapidly cooling corpse to Lujanne receiving a sensual back massage was certainly a Choice.

Viren missing his wife THIS MUCH when he's barely mentioned her up to now was a little weird. I honestly think they saw the homoerotic interpretations of the very intense dynamics he had with Harrow and Aaravos and have been steadily backpedalling from that. Don't get me wrong, I can believe he loved her and he misses her, but the degree of it feels totally unearned.

I get children's media will have mascots for the children, normally I don't mind them, but dear god this show is hitting critical mass on annoying sidekicks (Zym counts as a very big one and he's already nigh unbearable.)

THE UGLY

I can imagine that the descendants of the human children Leola granted magic to are now able to do magic naturally and this could be the lore behind either Caleb or Ezran's abilities. I actually don't mind this as finally being in-universe explanation for this disparity that isn't just 'they want it more' or whatever, but it doesn't help this show's "Better People Are Born Better" messaging. Now, in that vein ...

King Ezran is a KING. Have we mentioned this? He's a king. He's divinely ordained to be above everyone else. You must show him respect because he's KING. Even Rayla emphasizes what a KING he is. BOW BEFORE HIM.

Ezran's idea of """diplomacy""" is just going "Be nice, please." (Followed by a threat LMAO.) "Go live somewhere else." WHERE. What if they try to occupy territory that isn't theirs? Xadian society seems quite separated and territorial. Ezran doesn't consider this. He doesn't consider anything. He has no actual diplomatic skills because he never offers anything, he just expects people to listen to him because he's KING.

You know in Parasite when they're like Of course the rich people are nice, they can afford to be? When Ezran was going I'm a king and I can choose kindness I was like, You're king because of an accident of your birth, and all your privilege and people looking out for you allows you to operate the way you do.

(Janai having an evil brother who is Not The True Heir To The Throne and Trying To Steal It is just part of the show's overall obsession with this narrative -- see also Viren coming from a less privileged background.)

Of course it's still funny to see Ezran be continuously characterized as So Compassionate, So Loving but when it comes to say, Not burning his own people alive or Extending the hand of kindness to one of his oldest childhood friends or her father, he just turns that shit off. This could be interesting hypocrisy if I thought the show was trying to intentionally paint him this way, instead of just wanting him to not be a total pushover because he's THE KING!!! ALL BOW BEFORE THE KING!!!!

The unbelievable frustration caused by a scene where Claudia is begging to not have to use dark magic -- Terry coming in and saving the day with natural magic -- Claudia staring at the peaceful solution and realizing she needs to change -- BUT IT'S STILL A FUNDAMENTAL DISPARITY IN HOW HUMANS CAN EXIST IN THIS WORLD? Is Claudia supposed to die because dark magic is too wrong to use? Now we have the reveal that humans are being actively denied magic I'm hesitantly hopeful they may get some justice in this regard, but it doesn't change the reality of humans right now. What are humans supposed to do? Rely on others for help? Oh, sure, most of the elves and dragons we meet now are just so nice and helpful to humans, because of the show's 'bad apple' approach to prejudice I've mentioned before, but we know that wasn't always the case.

Like, this actual reminder that the difference in power between a single dragon and a human settlement, and unlike the last time we're on the side of humans this time so you can better appreciate the horror of it ... it's depressing to feel like "Only by grace of your betters do you survive." It's echoes of Janai's 'forgiveness' of the human who put out the fire of that elf who assaulted her. "Aren't you lucky we're so NICE?"

This is all compounded by what I meant at the start of my review, that they've written themselves into a corner, especially wrt dark magic. In universe Soren sees no choice but to ask his father to do dark magic, something all the characters scold each other for constantly. Out of universe, the writers had a huge fuck off dragon come along to commit genocide against the humans and the only realistic solution is .... having Viren do dark magic, something the narrative constantly reinforces as bad. They ultimately frame this act as heroic, and according to a writer (I believe) on the discord, he speaks the spell forward to represent how this act of inherent good overcomes the "inherent evil" of dark magic (quotation marks theirs, interestingly.) I think the writers, for the most part, clearly like Viren and Claudia a lot, and like giving them 'big moments' with dark magic ... but this is part of the reason why the show has continuously reinforced a NEED for dark magic without giving any viable solution for the average human who doesn't have natural magical powers or is friends with dragons and elves like our main heroes. Ultimately, it feels hypocritical of the show to keep going on about the evil of dark magic (now very firmly an addiction metaphor) while having no solution for humans in tricky situations that aren't "magic you and only you can do, for some reason" or "queen dragon who somehow still isn't dead dear god coming to save you" or, y'know, "dark magic." Only one of these is really viable for the average person.

Like, you make it an addiction metaphor, but where's the alternative? Vampires need to drink blood to survive but vampire series often show vampires refusing to drink human blood as an addiction metaphor ... they drink animal blood instead, or something, and you get the metaphor. Right now, in TDP, it's either, do dark magic and suffer, or don't do dark magic and ... suffer more? Okay. I'm not saying life has to be fair or that there isn't value in accepting loss, but when Viren scolds Kpp'Ar for having all his fun with dark magic and then very callously dismissing Viren's fear for his son, I felt that. Viren isn't begging for a beer here. He's begging to save his son. Addiction metaphors need to match the scale and reality of what is being shown to you.

Sorry, I'm now going to harp on more about the Your Betters Are Born Better stuff now because I was actually enjoying (you know, tearfully so) Viren's death until his final lines. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GASPED!!!!!!!! HOLD ON!!!!!!!!!!! Like, let me get it out of the way, I get it echoes his last exchange to Harrow and his loyalty to Harrow is tied to his loyalty to Katolis, and they're saying "He was power hungry but now he is acting in a way that is purely, totally selfless for maybe the first time in his life," which is fine. The problem is, I have sat through six seasons of this show kissing royal ass. I have seen Aanya (shudder) mock him for not being a real noble-born ruler. I have seen Ezran's divine authority be reinforced time and again, and seen Viren throw himself submissively before his King to submit to his judgement as King, not as someone he once hurt. I have been reminded time and again that less privileged people who want the power necessary to succeed in a world biased against them are power-hungry lunatics unless they submit themselves enough to the Supreme Order of the world. So to have Viren's last words be him reinforcing that the most heroic thing he can ever be is A LOYAL SERVANT is just ... horrible. If they'd just kept the framing of Viren's death on his love for his family, it would have been way, way better.

Altogether I uh guess the season was mostly fine. They actually did a better job tying disparate narratives together with common themes which I appreciate. I liked the magefam stuff. I hope Soren eventually learns the stuff Viren chose not to tell him. I hope there's realistic forward growth on the attitude towards dark magic and why humans feel they need it, like some acknowledgement that Katolis was only saved because of Viren (make that two nations he has explicitly saved.) Maybe even Ezran can take a break from being unbearably sanctimonious to properly acknowledge his sacrifice. That would be nice!

I really hope humans get some justice for how they've been actively denied a valuable resource. It seems a self-fulfilling prophecy (they punished Leola for giving humans magic, this made Aaravos go darksided, Aaravos gave humans dark magic, humans are very set against the magical community for the way they've been treated so they're more callous about using dark magic) so I hope the ultimate lesson won't be "humans don't deserve this" but "humans only ended up here because they were treated like they don't deserve it, but they do, by right of existing as beings in this world." If Callum (+ Ezran) end the series as the only or some of the only humans with magic powers, I'm going to eat drywall.

[mdhwrites]

If Marcy met Andrias again in the timeskip, how do you think their interaction would go?

Honestly, that's very much so a dealer's choice sort of thing. That's not even a bad thing. Part of why I think the Amphibia fandom has felt like it's stayed alive better post its finale than TOH's, especially without resorting to mostly writing about OCs in one way or another, is that the cast is dynamic enough by the end for a plethora of options. Sasha will always have her manipulative lessons of old but how does that mix with her as a therapist? Does she fear them? Use them when not on the job? How do those experiences dictate how she helps her clients? Or maybe even use those manipulative tactics on her clients to force them into corners that require them to be honest with themselves in order to grow. And those are only all of the positive sides of ONE element of Sasha growing into a more mature version of herself.

Marcy is similar, despite how little we get of her in the show. She already had so much promise and such complicated feelings about relationships that it's a good question how she sees others now. Is she happy about her community around her webcomic, freely interacting with them and sharing their love? Does she think they see her as a commodity and lives in fear of the day she presents an idea they dislike and they vanish? Much like she probably feared her friends would do if she ever pushed too hard with her interests? Or does she keep them at arm's length, just focusing on the creation of her comic and interacting with her community as she needs to but keeping them out of her mind mostly?

And this is all preamble to the point that how she reunites with Andrias is kind of dealer's choice. Not just with Marcy but also with Andrias. After all, while he obviously should feel guilty and remorseful, those are painful emotions that manifest in a lot of different ways. Does he try to seek forgiveness from her? Does he believe forgiveness is possible? Does he avoid her, even if assured that she holds no ill will towards him, because he believes himself to truly hurt Marcy too much? After all, what he did was reprehensible and he knew how terrible it was the entire time. Not only that but time obviously eroded Andrias to the point where much of the evil he'd committed was almost easy for him. If not as simple as breathing at times. Do you ever trust yourself with that again, let alone if Marcy IS willing to forgive?

(Petty sidenote: THAT is how you write a character who has the right to believe they shouldn't get involved no matter what. By having them have actively chosen wrong in the past and done so all too easily and so they don't know if they can trust themselves. That they themselves don't know if they won't fall into temptation again because they have shown themselves to be weak before.)

And again: IF Marcy is willing to forgive. Marcy never went through the same arcs that Anne and Sasha did. While she has a kind enough heart to be forgiving by her base nature, she might not be willing to do so for this. That might even be what Andrias would prefer. He practically comforted himself through believing Lief had given up on him after all because it made his evil easier to do. If Marcy hates him, his self imposed exile and hermitage that the end hints he's gone on to do will feel all the more justified and correct to him.

Or maybe they're not on the same wavelength and Marcy is furious at him and that catches him off guard. That Marcy has grown up so independent and better equipped to defend herself makes her all the angrier at him when he was still expecting young Master Marcy who might accept his apology and want to hear about what he's learned in her absence. Maybe she is willing to forgive him but he actually gets enraged at that? Instead of avoiding her, in fact playing the bad guy briefly again to explicitly see about trying to make the lesson he thinks she should have learned stick. That not everyone can be good. Let alone him.

The way Amphibia ends is ripe with questions like this that a series post time skip could easily draw upon. Hell, if they were okay with retconning the ending, we only see Amphibia couple years after the events of the show, not the full ten so we could pull in the girls as older teenagers or just barely 18 for a second visit. It would still be different than the full ten years version of them and seeing them inbetween their fully mature adult counterparts and them at 13 trying to handle what the lessons they learned mean for themselves could be neat.

I do want to make something clear though: I consider all this open space, all this stuff they could do in the future a STRENGTH of the ending. The ending itself is still very powerful and great for the series itself and I wouldn't want them to have tried to touch on these complexities and muddy the water or the like. Not only that but having these questions less highlights flaws with the ending and more to me highlights the strength of the character writing. That we can ask such large questions about how a scene like that would go down, the fact that a definitive answer is close to impossible without more details on the older selves, is GREAT for fanfic writers, comic creators, etc.

It also will continue to make my eye twitch since even with me wanting to do monster themed stories for Amphibia and knowing all this potential space exists, my brain STILL won't let me just dive in. *sigh*

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[brineffxiv]

Estinien is not an easy man to find, but finally we run into him at the airship landing.

Uh oh

To be fair, Alisaie, you and Alphinaud do wear the exact same hairstyle.

LOL G'raha.

Thankfully, Alphinaud arrives to save Estinien and explain to him what's going on.

Alphinaud and Estinein's relationship is so wholesome. They make each other better people, and they make me smile.

Estinien is on the way to Azys Lla, to speak with Tiamat about this new incarnation of Bahamut. As the original summoner of the primal, she may be able to provide information that can help us deal with this new incarnation. We think this is a good idea, and join him.

Lol, you two should have met him back in Heavensward. He's practically warm and personable now by comparison.

Azys Lla has to be my least favorite map. The brown and sickly green lighting puts me in mind of vomit, or industrial contaminants. I suppose both of those are appropriate comparisons for the late Allagan Empire.

Oh. I. Didn't realize Nidhogg was still with you. Still a part of you. That's got to be difficult. But it's good that you feel you need to be there for Tiamat in Nidhogg's place. Nidhogg's rage and grief were fully justified for what was done to him and his family, it was his choices and actions in the aftermath that went beyond the pale.

It seems that Fandaniel must have utilized Tiamat and Bahamut's children to summon the primal.

Omg omg are we finally going to free Tiamat?! I've wanted to break her out of there since Heavensward. Yes yes yes!!!

Oh damn. She's tempered. If not quite as severely as some others. It didn't occur to me that a great wyrm could be tempered. But hell, if the Ascians could be, why not Tiamat.

Thankfully, we have a treatment for this now.

Oh yeah, gotta remember that nobody else knows that Hydaelyn is a freaking primal, and not just the name of the will of our star. Hey, can we test that tempering cure on me? Not saying I am for sure... but... better safe than sorry?

While G'raha and Alisaie prepare to cure Tiamat of her tempering, Estinien, Alphinaud, and I (plus a spirit vessel imbued with his blood that G'raha had on him for reasons) search the flagship for a node or terminal from which to control her restraints.

But before we go and free Tiamat, Estinien has a few questions regarding how we've been handling the Ascians.

And honestly, I don't think there is anything worth salvaging in Fandaniel. He is a man who professes to desire naught but to die and to take the rest of us with him in "a paroxysm of pain and suffering."

But...

Hmm, how do I say this?

Meeting and dealing with Emet-Selch effected me. He was brilliantly written, and I came to understand and empathize with his plight. I cannot say that, if I had been in his position, I would have done any different. From his point of view, he was entirely justified. He did terrible things, that he knew were terrible, in order to save his people. He was selfless, and sacrificed everything he had in order to save them. In the name of the greater good.

And so, I find I can't so easily dismiss Fandaniel as purely "evil." He must have a motive, a reason for why he does what he does, and I want to know it. He's not crazy, or illogical, and in the brief glimpses we have into his interactions with Zenos, I have become convinced that Fandaniel is manipulating him. And for him to be doing that, there's something he's trying to get or do beyond just what he openly claims to want, and he thinks he can use Zenos to get it. Zenos is too secure in his own power, and too distracted by me to see it. Fandaniel's a bitter, angry, shell of a man. And I want to know why.

Ahem.

Yes.

Anyway.

With the aid of G'raha and myself, Alisaie manages to cure Tiamat of her tempering.

And then, finally, after three expansions, Tiamat is freed of her prison.

And just in time, because Bahamut has been sighted over Paglth'an, at the head of a host of dragons. That's where Arenvald and Fordola have gone. I smell a dungeon.

And then, like the badass he is, Estinien leaps to Tiamat's back and the two of them fly away to battle.

We reunite with the rest of the Scions in Ul'dah, where we are joined by Nanamo. The Immortal Flames have been dispatched (along with many of the other Alliance nations' troops) to Paglth'an to defend the Amalj'aa. But it will be a fierce fight, and we are invited to join the fray as soon as possible.

Incidentally, it appears that Lunar Bahamut may be incapable of tempering people? Which would mark it as different from any primal we have faced before, and also mean it cannot be the entity behind the tempering going on at the towers.

To Paglth'an!

[faebriel]

and you caused it: chapter 4

In which Niki has a terrible secret, Puffy just wants to move on, Tommy sneaks into casino parties and Wilbur learns to deal with anger being justified. Or - the one thing they don’t warn you of, when dropping nuclear warheads on old friends, is fallout.

in chapter 4: three important conversations are had, and niki comes home.

wc: 5.6k

niki screams until her voice is raw. every drop of rage, of sadness, of grief and frustration and guilt, all swallowed - it erupts from her in a wail nigh-inhuman, shrill as the screech of a wither. she mourns her city. she mourns the time she spent making it beautiful and safe and a home for peace, torn asunder, for every flower shredded from its roots and the beehives left cracked open and bleeding across the stone.

she mourns the version of herself who built it, so long ago - mourns that woman's confidence, her pride, her heart. her home destroyed twice-over, scarred by her own flames. brave and bold and never afraid to love. that woman wouldn't curse her closest friends, wouldn't shove them around for scraps of affection. she wouldn't have been driven to kill so easily. she wouldn't be so fucking easy to manipulate, even now, that some bully like dream would think he can push her feelings around the twist them to further his goals. that girl was so sure-footed, and now niki feels like she too has been ripped to shreds just like her city - nothing but the torn, broken remains. she feels sick. she feels weak, in a way that she hasn't felt for months.

The truth falls on her shoulders, plain and simple: this is a trick. This is a trick, one of Dream’s plans, the same way he turned Wilbur against everyone, the same way he pulls Techno in with promises on silver tongues - it is a ploy to make her angry. It is a ploy to make her angry with Tommy. She turns the words over in her head, and realises with startling alarm - it is working. She promised Wilbur she wouldn’t let him go - and here she is, letting Dream into her head. Letting him turn her fire on her friends. It is sickening, the ease with which he does it. Embarrassing. Pathetic.

she doesn't know how long she spends down there. the torches flicker, but the clocks are all smashed - there is no light from the staircase, only the softest whisper of voices above. eventually those too fade, exchanged for the quiet shuffle-scrape of boots against the stairs.

kiiinda weird decor choice, techno comments as he comes to stand beside her. i’m not knockin’ it, though.

niki almost wants to curl up further, hide in the debris until he goes away. she doesn’t want to deal with his company right now. but she’s too exhausted even for that - too drained, too emptied - so she scrubs her tears from her face and pulls herself upwards, instead.

the conflict she feels is reflected on techno's face, bare and unmasked.

they didn't exactly part on good terms, after all. but it's techno, and so she barely bothers to hide her reddened eyes and wild, unwashed hair from him. he comes to stand beside her, and for as awkward as techno can be when faced with a heavy silence, he lasts a good few minutes of quiet before cracking.

"So," he starts, awkward. "'m guessing all this wasn't the brats upstairs, was it." The sigh rattles between her teeth. "No." She slides a glance his way - though she's never been afraid of how Techno would react to something like this, she's aware it might not be something he finds comfortable, either. "It was Dream." The words drop like heavy, flat stones - she watches as the information washes over him. Techno is quite easy to read, once you know him. Thoughtfulness, an embarrassed kind of seething, slight regret. "Ah," he says. "Well, that makes this awkward. 's it because of Tommy again?" "Yep." He sucks a sympathetic breath through his teeth. "I'd tell ya that's something to be expected, but... I mean, it looks like you've had enough of all that."

niki cannot really express the degree to which she has had enough of all that.

the truth is, niki has missed techno - locked underneath the earth, as if her city had regained its iron bars. she missed his dry wit. she missed his advice. she missed his company. now, it is as if the sun has broken over the horizon again - niki turns towards it like a flower with its petals unfurled, even in the sorry state she's in.

the thing with techno is that no matter what she says, she never feels judged. maybe that was not always a good thing, maybe too many things slid past unaddressed until they all piled up on that strange table in their meeting room, maybe they both gorged themselves on that easiness like children with sweets until something unseen between them started to fester. but just the right amount of sugar water can be what saves a withering sapling - it makes her feel strong, even in this state, and strength is exactly what niki needs.

the words tumble out. whether techno knew the story beforehand, whether the gossip had spread that far, whether he even remembered that the snowchester warheads had been tested in the first place (actually, knowing techno, there's no chance he would forget that last bit) - it all spills out. how she felt then, how she feels now, every part of the tangled mess.

and to be entirely fair, techno - as expected - takes it with a flippant grace that's almost soothing.

“Everyone thinks I’m a bad person. I - I am a bad person.” Techno shrugs, nonchalant. “You do get used to that,” he comments, then sends a glance sideways. “You’re not a bad person, Niki. To be entirely honest, you’re one of the better ones. People are idiots.” And since when has Niki even cared what other people think of her, anyway? “Yes, but they’re right,” she tries to explain. “I - I’m a coward, Techno - ” and she doesn’t stop the words tumbling out, even when he opens his mouth to argue. “I’m a coward, and I - I do bad things, and I can’t even bear to face the consequences for them, and everyone hates me,” and perhaps Niki is not as empty as she thought, because tear-floods are wetting her eyes once again. “I used to be different, I used to be different, I - ” Techno puts his hand on her shoulder, a grounding weight - and when the tears keep coming, he generously shifts his arm around her shoulders in an awkward kind of side-hug. Even more, he (very bravely) doesn't mention the tears, even as he shoots anxious sidelong glances her way - lets her take care of that mess herself, holds his tongue until they settle into nothing but an occasional hitched breath. “The thing with weeds,” Techno drawls, no attention paid to the apparent non-sequitur, “the thing with weeds is that they’re hardy. It’s like, their whole thing - you know dandelions? You step on ‘em, they bounce back up. Y’don’t water ‘em, leave ‘em in the cracks of the pavement - you look back and bam, y’know, they’re still there." Niki wipes another stray tear with her wrist, staring up at him. "I'm just saying," he informs her. "The weeds are fine, Niki. It's not your problem anymore."

and niki has always had a soft spot for dandelions.

"Techno," she asks, "why - why did you destroy L'manberg?" He bristles immediately, defensiveness flitting across his expression. "Niki, I'm not lookin' to have to defend mys - " "I'm not asking to judge you for it," Niki cuts him off, dismissing the worry with a wave of her hand."I was there too, I burned just as much of it myself." Not literally, but figuratively - in her heart, Niki feels she set fire to much more than any of them could on that day. She simply had skin in the game, always had - she had more to lose. "But - I know why I did. Why did you burn down L'Manberg?" He's quiet. "Pretend I wasn't there," Niki says. "I hardly was, in the end. Tell it to me - tell me as if I'm someone who wasn't there. As if I'm someone who had never heard of L'Manberg at all." "I mean, they did try to execute me," he replies, a sardonic bounce in his flat tone - but Niki might be poor at playing pretend, because she does know Techno, and she can sense the thin, vulnerable thread buried deep in his voice. "Which didn't really help matters… I mean, they were a government, being anti-government is kind of my thing - if you ask me, it was all always gonna be just a little inevitable - " "But you were retired. Ranboo told me that you were." "Thought you didn't know anything about L'Manberg," Techno comments, though he doesn't stop. "Yeah, well. Getting an anvil dropped on your head kinda, uh - kinda changes your perspective. Y'know, I mean - gettin' almost murdered will do that to a guy." "And then what?" He sends her another sidelong look, skeptical. "Niki, you really were there for that bit - " "Did they ever apologise? Any of them?" Techno rattles out a laugh, short and sharp. "Oh, heck no - of course they wouldn't. It's not like government can be wrong," and he grins a little at his own sarcasm. "They start seein' themselves as so important, as above all the people - then the people, they don't seem like people at all. And when it comes time to wash their hands of what they do, they're not gonna apologise. No, they're too cowardly for that. Too cowardly." Niki does not match his laugh, or his smile. The words settle in her stomach, like a stone sinking into the deepest waters. "Yep,” she manages, voice tight. “Alright. Okay.”

there's no explicit invitation back to the syndicate, but when techno turns towards the staircase, he holds his hand out towards her. perhaps at one point she would have refused it, stubborn when it comes to proving her own independence, her own strength - but god, she’s lonely. she’s sad. she’s so strong and stubborn that she’s built her own hole to die in - and she’s just enough of both of those things to follow techno out of it.

he notices the burns on her arms, on the way out - she doesn't notice them either, until he points them out. standing too close to the flames. they'll patch it back up at the compound, he tells her, filling the air with the domestic disputes she's missed between steve and apollo and the turtles in her absence.

—

wilbur loiters around the entrance of this secret city as tommy, tubbo and michael leave - tommy pulling at loose threads of his cardigan, tubbo busy bouncing michael atop his hip. when he approaches, tubbo flatly asks if he's seen ranboo around - not even a good evening, or perhaps a good morning, by this time of night - to which wilbur has to reply uh, no, sorry. no, paradise has been closed for the time being. tubbo then gives tommy one of those telepathic kind of looks they share, the kind that wilbur can't parse the meaning of, as he walks pointedly away from wilbur to flank phil instead.

Wilbur wracks his memory for details, watching as the toddler in Tubbo’s arms reaches out to grab at the dangling beads from Phil’s hat. “And that’s… Matthew?” ”Michael,” Tommy corrects him, snooty. “And be normal about it, else I’ll be forced to kick your ass about it.” Wilbur holds his hands up in mock-surrender. “Alright, alright.”

so nobody feels like talking. fine, whatever. he sends a look over his shoulder to the nether portal that techno had disappeared into, shortly after their arrival - the colours flicker back at him, shifting violets and indigoes. he tries not to think about the fact that niki is in there somewhere, and that apparently, something is wrong. if he were in his own shoes two years ago, he would be falling head over ass to go help her, even if the effort was pointless. he wouldn't be able to stop himself, he thinks.

he thinks of niki over l'manberg, nemesis, so frustrated and yet so dimmed, subdued. he thinks of how niki is now. the effect is enough to give him a mild headache.

Niki is a loose cannon. It’s not something Wilbur ever thought - it’s not something Wilbur would ever even consider thinking about her, to be entirely honest.

the plod back to the arctic is an awkward one. phil fiddles with his communicator, eventually confirming that techno and niki are following on their own, and wilbur watches tommy breathe out a sigh. he can’t parse why. well, he can, but he doesn’t understand tommy’s concern. he tries to make conversation a few times, but each fall flat - eventually, tommy flanks tubbo’s shoulder and spends the rest of their time exchanging friendly barbs with tubbo and michael.

fucking hell. tubbo is a dad. it hadn’t really clicked before now - he was not allowed to meet the kid, which was not something he was told, but something he figured out was true anyway - and something about the concept had seemed so distant and unreal until he saw it before his own two eyes.

jesus fuck, he feels old.

eventually, the arctic compound swims back into sight - phil is quick to usher tubbo and michael into the warmth of his cabin, the three of them having settled into some relatively-cheerful conversation about fishing. oh, because even phil gets on better with them now than wilbur does, apparently. wilbur and tommy linger outside.

wilbur watches from the corner of his eye as tommy pauses as the base of the cabin steps, hesitant. his expression looks faraway until he notices wilbur's observation - he snaps at him, then, arms crossed defensively over his chest.

"Why did you disappear off to that ravine?" Wilbur asks. Tommy's face twists - despite everything, Tommy is one person from whom Wilbur expects honesty. If only because keeping Tommy from expressing his opinion on something is akin to trying to push mountains with nothing but one's bare hands. "Pretty obvious, 'innit?" he replies, defensive. "Dream was out." "I know that," Wilbur says - even he can hear how his voice is rattled with frustration. "That doesn't answer the question, though?" "Yes, it does!" Tommy's shout is almost a squeak - it's noisy, but not… aggressive. Not at its core. It is better, honestly, than Wilbur was expecting. "We had to go, man! 'specially because of Tubbo, his kid, and all that…" "But you didn't even say anything about it before you left." Oh, Wilbur sounds petulant. Childish. "It's not like - it's not like you said goodbye." "It wasn't going to be goodbye," Tommy snaps back immediately. "It was - " "Then what was it?" Tommy watches Wilbur for a moment, with that proper, scrutinising sky-blue gaze - then his eyes skitter downwards, plucking at loose thread emerging from his bracers. "Ta for now," he mutters. "I don't - I can't be fucking expected to know these things, prick, we're not all the fuckin' smart ones like you - "

the verbal wrassle continues. as frustrating as dealing with an obstinate tommy is, wilbur is still - oddly wistful. nostalgic, even, like stretching a muscle that's atrophied with lack of use. striking rust from a fine blade. it is the longest he has spoken to tommy in a long time. given the guy never seems to fucking check his comm (given that he was almost certainly avoiding you, his mind whispers, which is just as true as it is currently unhelpful), it's the longest conversation he's had with tommy in weeks.

tommy is evasive, avoidant - he'll prattle on about the city for a few moments, and then clam up the rest in some bid to protect tubbo's privacy, or niki's, or to just make himself look bigger than he is. oh, it's so much better than any of wilbur's builds, he spits gleefully - and then the next minute there's a cloud over his expression, and he stubbornly refuses to reveal a sentence more. wilbur knows, vaguely, what happened - phil is not nearly as good at keeping secrets as tommy is, never has been, and that is fucking saying something - but god forbid that should encourage tommy to be a little more forthcoming. he continues to push, to dig and pry - the conversation tips towards dream like a wagon careening down a hill, both their hands grabbing at the wheel as wilbur tries to needle the why and the how from tommy and tommy lies down and dies on the hill that dream is the root of all fucking evil that walks and breathes on this server, no you prat i'm not talking about you, i'm not fucking talking about niki either! this is a whole other thing, and you knew that when you came back because you told me, and wilbur tries to push further and further (he's bound by the need to know, can feel himself careening out of control as he talks and talks) until -

"I didn't fucking want you to protect me!" Tommy shrieks. Wilbur flinches, involuntary. "Wil - you couldn't fucking protect me even if you wanted to, alright? It doesn't work like that. It never worked like that." He runs a hand back through blonde curls - through the pale sprig of white hair that streaks them, nigh-identical to Wilbur's. Unmistakable. "I know - I know what you said when you came back, Wil, but that was always - that was wishful thinking. It wouldn't have happened that way. You know it wouldn't." Tommy's fingers twist deeper into his hair, painful-looking - Wilbur hovers, unsure whether he should approach or not. He shouldn't. He shouldn't be permitted to. But watching Tommy in this state, it's - it's like having his heart ripped out. Fucking hypocrite, you are, his mind reminds him - full of smoke and the earthy smell of stone and mildew - which isn't wrong, either. But god, it's Tommy. "Do you think I was lying?" Wilbur asks him. "Tommy - Tommy, forget the casino, forget all of that shit, I wouldn't - " Tommy tips his head up just long enough to bare his teeth at him. "I'm not just gonna forget that, man - " "I wouldn't - I would always protect you from Dream, Tommy. Always. You know that." The lie sits uncomfortably between them, boiled under Tommy's skeptical stare. Wilbur wets his lip, cracked from the Arctic air, and starts over - "I wouldn't throw you under the bus, Tommy. Not to Dream - " "You don't get it," Tommy cuts him off, voice loud. "No one gets it, nobody fucking does - Wilbur, it isn't about you. It's about Dream. It's always about Dream - Wilbur, you can't fucking protect me from him, and you keep saying this shit - you're wrong, man! You're wrong, you were wrong…" then a light comes into Tommy's eyes, possessed by something sudden. "You worked with him in Pogtopia, man! You let him, you let him in - and that was before exile, but that was after the war, Wilbur. That was after the war." Wilbur blinks. "So?" Of all the ways Tommy could respond - what Wilbur doesn't expect is laughter, just as loud and shrill as it is exhausted, meandering through pitch with sheer tiredness. "So - so that, Wilbur. It's always about you. And if it wasn't, you would get your ass kicked - you would get your ass kicked so fucking quick, man."

neither of them say it aloud, but the truth spills anyway: wilbur is insecure. (hah. we knew that.) tommy is hurting, tommy was in danger (in the walls), and all that happened while he was trying to stay away from wilbur, and wilbur is still struggling to handle that.

it's like trying to comprehend some surrealist painting. his mind sees where the stairs overlap, sees where each line flows into the next in just the right way to break what reality is supposed to be, sees each stroke of paint upon the canvas. he understands damn well why tommy doesn't want to be around him. he's no guardian. but it still hurts.

but despite all that - and here's where reality seems to break - tommy still goes to him for comfort. he tries to explain the walls, and the sound of the TNT, and muffling michael's whimpers with the fur of tubbo's coat as they kept their ears to the stone, gripping whatever makeshift weapons they happened to have on their person - an iron sword is all tommy had on him, grabbing it from some chest as they heard footsteps that weren't niki's descend upon the stone - and how he was scared. how he is scared. he grabs the brush from wilbur, and paints his own picture.

wilbur has always been useless in the face of tommy's fear, but this time, standing on phil's verandah, nothing but the snowy air between them, he (half-dazedly) holds out an arm - tommy latches onto him like a man drowning, burying his face in wilbur's chest.

that's the thing, with tommy. he keeps all that fear close to his chest - it was the damn same after the war - buries it under all that gilded light. he's brave. he's good in a way that wilbur is not, in a way that wilbur never has been and never will be. and wilbur cannot understand, still, why tommy holds onto him like he's the precious thing, but for once - perhaps because he's still shaken up after their little mission to the city, perhaps because he's never taken to the cold of the arctic anyway, perhaps because he's missed his brave and wild little brother - wilbur holds him close anyway.

wilbur often feels like he's fucked up. this time, though, this is one of those times where he feels like someone has kicked his world from its axis - that he has called upwards down for long enough that his vision had adapted, and now that the world has righted itself again, it makes him dizzy. that anger towards dream resurfaces, poison in his veins - but he's currently juggling an armful of tommy, so he tries to swallow it down instead.

(niki is a far fucking thought from wilbur's mind, right now. this is a good thing.)

"What do you need from me," Wilbur asks. "Really, Tommy, I - I'm listening. I promise. This time, I'm actually fucking listening. What do you actually need from me?" He isn't sure what to expect. Resources? Stacks of iron and diamonds to craft into swords and armour (Wilbur's no idealist anymore, sunk into cynicism)? Traps, potions? A (laughable) sparring partner? It could be anything, from this end of the world to the other, because it's Tommy - because Wilbur would make it up to him. He would. Tommy gives him a look like he's missed some joke - then he laughs again, though less hysterical than the last. "I just want my brother, man," he says.

—

and, eventually, they adapt. uneasily, one could almost call it peace.

no one can tell what exactly tommy said in his comms to phil, in the end (although wilbur notices how they talk quietly (as quietly as tommy can, at least) while sneaking matching glances of poorly-concealed concern at an exhausted niki, and he makes his own guesses.) the syndicate has always protected their own, after all - especially as tubbo and techno discuss ranboo's abrupt disappearance over the kitchen table, two strategists shoving aside their history as soon as they got over the isn't-he-with-you-i-thought-he-was-with-you thing. michael is the compound's darling, as tommy tries to teach him swear words and niki tries to teach him to knit and techno watches with approval as the kid swings around a training sword almost matching him in size. wilbur avoids niki at the breakfast nook, and niki tries not to feel too stung about it. she watches as he sits in phil's favourite armchair to read, and phil waits until tommy has inevitably shoved him to the ground to wrestle before taking a seat in his plush, comfortable throne.

they don't all need to get along, she reminds herself. she and techno fit back at each other's sides like two bereft magnets - there's still some uneasy eyes on her when she takes too long to get out of bed, or when she leaves most of her meal uneaten at dinner, so tacking onto techno's compound chores is the most enjoyable way to ward off their worry. techno appreciates the extra set of hands, and niki appreciates the opportunity to stay busy. she's grown pale without spending time in the sun, and the arctic sunshine is crisp and energising.

and as it turns out, niki really was sick. well, she knew that - by the end of things, they all knew that - she's been ill, she means. radiation sickness. in all the stupid chaos, she'd fallen behind on her treatments.

maybe, in some fucked-up way, she's lucky everything fell to shit when it did.

her cabin is still... messy, so she's staying in a spare room of techno's. some negotiations take place between the teenagers and techno, and they end up putting together a small cottage ("bunker," tommy corrects them) on compound land. techno insists it means he can keep a better eye on them. they'd all chafe at each other too much if they piled too many people onto this particular patch of ice, but ranboo is still missing, so - in his honour everyone does their best to brush off their discomfort and form an enderman-searching team of people, very purposely politically unaligned.

and with admirable determination, they all ignore the smile-shaped elephant in the room.

is dream going to come back? niki isn't really sure. tommy seems intent that he'll sneak into the arctic and slit all their throats in their sleep. tubbo does not disagree. phil tells them both that they're being unrealistic - pissing off the angel of death and the blood god on their home turf is a stupid idea (not that it's stopped some people before, techno comments with a Look at tubbo, because sometimes the guy just cannot help himself) and dream is far from an idiot. no one is quite comfortable, though. even techno.

niki doesn't think she was wrong when she said that dream did not care about her. in fact, she's still pretty confident of that fact. no, niki is collateral. nothing more, nothing less. she has a hundred and one reasons to want dream in the ground, and he couldn't give a fuck about any of them.

doesn't mean she's not aware of the consequences by now, though.

it all comes out while she and tommy are amid the outskirts of the compound, repairing fences. the syndicate is still in pieces over whether they're a good idea - phil insists it's strategic, but techno huffs that they break vision of the horizon. tommy keeps quiet while they're in the house, but blurts out both opinions at once as soon as they head for the borders.

he gets into fits. one minute, he's acting the same as they would back in l'manberg - before the nuke, before the manberg, before the war. before stupid fucking arguments held over a wooden path that now lies in splinters and smithereens. the next, he's furious and unnaturally quiet. right now he's the latter, silent and seething as they load wooden plants onto fenceposts.

they haven't spoken about any of it since they returned to the compound. not the city, not the nuke. but still, somehow, that poison lingers between them - even though bottles of treatment now stack tall in cupboards across every syndicate-aligned cabin and cottage.

“You can be - you can be angry, Tommy.” Stars know she’s not going to hold it against him when she knows how good it feels. “I think,” Tommy says. He wets his lips. “I think - I think I am angry.” Niki straightens her shoulders. “Yeah?” “Yeah,” Tommy says, and there’s a cloud that slides over him - a darkening of his figure. “I don’t - I don’t know. I don’t know why you tried to kill me. Tell me, Niki. Tell me, because - because I didn’t do anything wrong.” And she does. “I was angry," she says - it's a shit explanation but she says it with confidence anyway, because it's the truth. "Jack, he - he had his own reasons, but I was - I was angry after Wilbur died, after he left us." Tommy opens his mouth to argue, but she keeps talking - it's her turn to talk, and his turn to listen, and stars damnit, she's saying what she means for once. Even if it was stupid, and wrong, and she'd kick herself for it now - still, that's what thrummed through her back then. "And then you came back to L’Manberg, and told us we had to protect it, like it didn’t ruin us, like it didn’t ruin Wil - “ like it didn’t ruin me, she thinks silently “ - and I was angry, Tommy.” “When I was angry you tried to kill me.” Tommy spits, struggles. “When I was - I had just come home, and - and Dream was there and so was fucking Technoblade and somehow everyone just gets angry with me! And - and I didn’t - I didn’t blow up L’Manberg, I didn’t, but everyone fucking acts like I did.” He tips his chin downward, glaring at the snow. “I didn’t kill Wil.” “I know, Tommy.” “No, you fucking don’t, because you wanted - “ he takes a shaky breath. “Because you wanted to kill me. Don’t act like you didn’t fucking think that.”

niki is many things, but she's not in the business of lying. she doesn't deny a word - instead, watches with caution (and just enough abashment, but god, hasn't she run herself into the ground with that already? what did hauling around that self-effusing guilt achieve, in the end?) as tommy implodes with feeling, probably the most honest he's been with her since...

since that stupid argument on the prime path.

it's so ridiculous. niki runs herself dry doing everything, everything that seemed feasible under the guide of helping tommy. cutting off her friends, moving her life underground, giving up her space. but what did that achieve? it wasn't, it seems, what he wanted - tommy is stubborn, tommy fights his own battles, tommy warned her to stay out of this one and for her effort, she got burned. he doesn't even want half of the shit she did from her. no wonder it never felt gratifying. never felt right. never felt worth it.

she thinks, then, of how they ended up here - the compound, home again. and how in the end, tommy was the one who called for help when something precious of hers got broken. having this exact conversation, long overdue, by a half-useless fence in a too-full compound, knocking back the same awful-tasting potions by the day. of rabbit fur stuck in her teeth.

“Tommy," she says tentatively, "may I ask you something?” The glance he gives her is a cautious one. “Shoot.” “You’re angry at me, and I - I know why, you have every reason to be, I'm not saying you don't," she continues. These lines feel improvised - though at least they're real. "But you still gave me a chance. You still let me spend time around you. Why?” Fear? The thought sits with her uncomfortably. He stares at her, a long, hard, ice-blue look - before he settles it with a sigh. “...because, I mean, you were hurt," he says, plain. "Could tell, even - even on that day, you were hurting really badly. And you were still hurting when you let me bake bread with you and everything.” “You can still be angry," she reminds him gently. "That doesn’t mean it justifies anything.” “Yeah, but - I don’t know. You were hurt, and you lashed out, and I - I’ve done that before. You didn’t - it wasn’t, it wasn’t exile, you didn’t know about exile, nobody knew about exile, and it’s not like you - it’s not like you blew up L’Manberg, either.” “I was okay with them blowing up L’Manberg," she tells him. "I burnt down the L’Mantree, Tommy. And my bakery. That was me.” Tommy looks slightly disappointed at this new information - he didn't know about the tree, then, or must have assumed it was only collateral - but there's no spike of anger, no righteous rage that dials the volume up to three times his size. “Yeah, well. That was your choice to make. It was your home." A bitter expression crosses his face. "Probably more your home than mine, at that point.” There’s a moment of silence, and Niki thinks over her next words very carefully in her head. “I don’t think...” she starts. “I don’t think it was L’Manberg, once you were gone.” Tommy's responding laugh is high and loud. "Are you serious? Are you - are you for-fucking-real, Ni-ha-chu?" "I don't know," she admits - this feeling is a misty one, hard to get a grip onto. "I don't - I don't know if I mean it in that way. There was so much going on, Wil was gone, we were rebuilding, and everything with the cabinet… but it wasn't home anymore, Tommy. We were just clinging to something that was dead." "I know what being dead is like," he informs her, voice grave. "That wasn't it." She meets his eyes, and for once, it actually feels even. "...we'll just have to agree to disagree, then."

he matches her nonplussed expression with a shrug. what a novelty, then, the fact that they can disagree. niki, blood-thick traitor, and tommy, eternal troublemaker. they don't agree on shit. l'manberg is dead in the ground, even its corpse overrun by plants and feral animals, but they can still be friends.

it's not the same as it was, and it never will be again. but that is okay.

(the fence gets fixed, though not for lack of splinters. they both take up space in a cabin kitchen as techno digs for the first aid kit, loud and laughing, clustered around a corner of the grand dining table - and for all that is still broken in this stars-forsaken server, niki finally feels like she is turning to repair.)

[maxdibert]

Certainly not.

First of all, this is something I’ve said many times, and since I’m tired, I’m just going to copy and paste what I’ve written in other posts — why repeat myself?

There’s a social, economic, and blood-status context, as well as environments filled with violence, that very much justify Snape’s choices. Saying that nothing justifies joining certain groups completely disregards all the work that various sectarian groups (cults, religious extremists, far-right groups, or criminal gangs) do to manipulate and exploit young people’s lack of support and economic resources by promising them a way out of their miserable environments, making them believe they are the solution to all their problems.

It’s practically spitting on all the statistics about how crime rates skyrocket among young people at risk of social exclusion precisely because of the grooming they experience. It’s disregarding how structural conditions are crucial in shaping young people’s decisions.

Because no, not everyone has options — not when they have nothing, no place to go back to because their home is a nest of violence and poverty; not when they can’t side with the “good guys” because those good guys are their abusers.

It’s perfectly fine to criticise Snape for having a terrible personality and being morally questionable. It’s fine to portray him as a bitter, angry man with zero emotional regulation and a personality stuck in unresolved traumas. But it’s not fine to underestimate the influence that economic and social capital have on the path a person takes.

It’s very easy to choose the “right” path when you have everything; it’s much harder when all you have is your sense of survival.

Secondly, the moment Severus decides to pass on critical information during a war — information that is vital to one of the sides — he stops owing anything to anyone. In the real world, people far worse have been exonerated from prison for collaborating with the police, the government, or acting as informants during wars. The moment Severus becomes an informant, in any real-world context, he would have easily been exonerated, especially considering there’s no canon evidence that points to him being a murderer or torturer, only that he followed a cult. So…

Then there’s the Harry argument that you all keep bringing up, which makes zero sense because Harry was literally Voldemort’s main target. What was Severus supposed to do? “Dark Lord, I know you need to kill the kid or you’ll end up dead, but please don’t kill him, okay? Pretty please?” It’s absurd — Harry was already dead from the moment he became Voldemort’s main target.

What’s funny is how you bring this up but deliberately ignore the fact that Severus spent seven years doing everything possible to save Harry’s life — which was no easy task because Harry was constantly putting himself in danger. Without Snape, Harry wouldn’t have survived his first year, so I think that’s more than enough compensation.

By the way, sorry, but the people responsible for James and Lily’s deaths weren’t Severus — it was first Wormtail for betraying his friends and then Voldemort for killing them. Pinning the whole thing on Severus when he was a collateral player seems extremely biased to me.

Snaters always conveniently ignore key parts of the canon or have the character analysis skills of an amoeba when it comes to Snape. The guy was a jerk, but he wasn’t the devil. Sorry.

Many people in this fandom are just not ready to hold Snape responsible for his actions. It's always someone else responsible for Snape's own actions and bad decisions in life. But when it comes to doing something good then Snape is the saint reincarnated.

He was prejudiced against muggleborns and kept using the M word for them? He had to do that to survive in the slytherin house of course.

He used that word on Lily? It was just the heat of the moment. Lily didnt have to overreact!

He lost Lily's friendship? She should have been the bigger person and not ended their friendship on a mere word.

It was more than just that one word, it was the culmination of all his bad words and actions she had been trying to ignore or overlook for the sake of that friendship.

And even if it was just that one word she still would have been well within her right in doing so because how dare he? If my friend used that kind of slur on me, a slur people who wanted me stripped of magic, the people who wanted me dead used, literal terrorists used than I would never even want to see the face of that person in my life again.

And if she is expected to overlook that supposed slip of tongue then why isn’t Snape expected to make efforts to overcome his prejudice for the sake of their friendship? For his supposed love of life? Why isn't he expected to see the error of his ways and not become a deatheater? If you had read the story carefully enough you would know that she gave him a chance to backtrack, but as she said, he didn't even deny that he was gonna join Voldemort. So much for trying to save the friendship!

And oh obviously, he was not responsible for becoming a death eater, that was on the Marauders. If only he wasn't bullied by the evil, devil incarcerated Marauders then he would never have chosen that path. But James and Sirius bullying him is solely their own fault (it totally was their fault in that memory, they were arrogant douchebags alright. Some of us have enough sense not to defend the bad actions of even those characters that we like. That's what makes them our favourite characters, their flaws and the growth they show by overcoming these flaws).

And don't even get me started on the whole prophesy fiasco. The reason some people heroworship him is because he changed sides for Lily. Are you serious? Thats what you got from that scene? He literally condemned an infant to death by delivering that prophesy to Voldemort! Just for a moment forget about all the good and bad of Snape, James and Lily, forget them all for a moment. Focus on this, he delivered the prophesy to Voldemort fully aware that Voldemert is gonna hunt down and kill a new born child. HE DID NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT AN INFANT'S LIFE!

The only reason he changed sides was because that was Lily's kid so obviously Lily was in danger too. At least he had the realisation that she was not gonna step aside and let her child die after he made that disgusting request to Voldemort of killing the child and sparing her life, that or well Voldemort is not gonna keep his word. Whatever it was, it was not a sudden change of heart or him seeing the error of his ways, it was just one small human side in him which didn't want Lily to be murdered. Ironically he joined a group which wanted to murder her in the first place.

But yes, he would have been completely fine if Voldemort had chosed to kill Neville, what a great hero! His bit of humanity only woke up when it came to Lily's life. Her small son's life did not matter, after all it will be one less Potter in the world (2 if you count James but we are not talking about him here, I don't expect any care about his life from Snape, he at least is entitled to not give 2 cents about James's life), No matter that she would never be able to get over the grief of seeing her child get murdered in front of her eyes. So as Dumbledore rightfully said "you disgust me"

Now that Potters finally die and Harry comes back to Hogwarts after spending a miserable 10 years with Dursleys, Snape had the gall to hate him, bully him and belittle him in front of everyone every chance he got. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING THAT BOY ORPHANED YOU STUPID BITTER MANCHILD. You are responsible for getting him hunted down by the greatest dark wizard to ever live, you are responsible for starting a chain of events which made the first 17 years of his life a living hell. And you still hate him because he is James Potter's son? The man you yourself got killed by your master? You hate him for being Lily's son and hence responsible for her getting murdered by Voldemort? Even though its you responsible for getting her killed not that innocent child who did nothing wrong but being born on a specific date.

And even though it is Snape responsible for everything that's wrong in Harry's life, still Harry is supposed to make up to Snape and match his standards? You expect Harry to be the bigger person and make amends with dear professor Snape even though all he ever gets from that teacher is verbal abuse every single time they come face to face. Sorry, if I had a teacher like him who singled me out on the very first day of class and insulted me without any fault of my own just because he hated my dead father(the father who is dead because of said teacher), I would never respect that bullying git in my life. Funny how Harry is expected to show adult behaviour and not the literal adult himself because again it's Harry's fault for not taking the insults quietly and always replying back with sass. It was Harry's fault that Snape hated him because he was a trouble maker who broke school rules, even though that is what saved that whole school from Voldemort multiple times, at the cost of his own life.

Because as I said before, Snape is never responsible for his own actions, its always someone else's fault. Every thing that went wrong in his life was because of James, Sirius, Lily and Harry's doing.

But on the other hand James and Sirius are slandered to bits because of what they did to snape. Even though they grew up, stood by their friends in times of need (becoming animagi for Remus, James welcoming Sirius in his home), joined the Order of the phoenix to fight the evil forces of Voldemort (noting that they really didn't have to if you think about it. Both of them were so called pure blood wizards. They would have been completely fine and even stayed protected and alive without going if they kept quite and never went against Voldemort due to their blood status) but they fought bravely, chose to do the right thing even at the cost of their lives. But still they are the real villains of the story because they hated Snape and attacked him unprovoked in that memory (I'll say again, they were both arrogant douchebags in that scene and Lily rightfully called them bullying toerags, no justification for their behaviour), Still their whole character is assassinated based on their interactions with Snape in school but their triumphs, their bravery and growth is overlooked and glossedover to justify Snape's actions, they are not the Heroes but worse than deatheaters.

I don't know about you, but being a death eater is way worse than being a bully in my book. And your favourite character was both, a deatheater and a bully to literal children, his own students, students he is responsible for.

Do you want to know a character in whose life everything went wrong due to the action of someone else? It's Harry and the responsibility lies with Snape.

But you will still justify all of Snape's actions and wrong choices because obviously Snape is never responsible for his own actions, its always someone else.

You want Snape's good and right actions to be celebrated, yes he was very brave for being a double agent, not many could have achieved that feat. Yes may be he later on overcame his prejudice against muggleborns (I am remembering that scene from Prince's memories in which he asks the portrait not tp use the M word), but a that took years and years of growth but I would acknowledge whenever he does a right thing.

But when in the same memory he shows shock at the revelation that Harry has to die and his whole life's work of Protecting him has been for nothing you moon over his care for Harry. Even though it was still not for Harry. When Dumbledore said that he has grown to care for the boy he was disgusted by the mere notion. It was all for Lily.

As it love for Lily? I don't think so. You don't destroy the life of the person you love. Was it guilt for getting the only person he ever cared a out and who ever cared about him? Yes for sure. At least his guilt made him do the right thing.

But he was not the hero you portrait him to be. He was not evil yes but he did more bad than he ever did good. He was just a darker shade of grey. May be that's what makes his character interesting. But you all are hell bent on making him a saint and putting the blame of his actions and choices on other heroes of the story.

Who do you put the blame of James a d Sirius's wrong actions on? Can't think of anyone? Neither can can I because they themselves hold that blame.

No one else is responsible for our choices, no one but ourselves.

But Snape is always an exception to this rule isn't he?

The double standards are mind-boggling!

[agent-cupcake]

As a resident Claudefucker, I know am curious to know what our fave charming schemer is doing during this Mafia!AU. He'd look lovely in a suit.

~It was quite the headline when Godfrey Riegan died. The details are a little hazy, a little convenient, but people don't talk about that sort of thing. Car accidents are common. Tragic, but not unreasonable. There’s no reason to smear a man’s perfectly respectable political career for the sake of some sensational gossip.

~In the right circles, however, there was a huge uproar, questions about who was going to take over the Riegan family when the elderly boss Oswald died. The Riegan’s had been dominating Leicester for quite some time, but a lot of people began to predict that the Gloucester family was going to move in. They had powerful friends, it seemed. Friends with money, no less.

~Claude Riegan, grandson of Oswald, appeared out of nowhere just when he was needed. Stories of the lost daughter Tiana still circulated, sure, but there were still a lot of questions about Claude’s origins when nobody except Oswald were able to vouch for him. He obviously had military leadership experience—his skill with guns and ability to lead was just too excellent for any other explanation—but he dismissed the question out of hand. There’s no documentation of him, either, leading some to wonder if even his name was false. But Oswald said he was family, and that was that.

~Claude was quick to establish himself, in any case. Despite his cavalier attitude, his efficacy in overhauling the power dynamics of Leicester were profound.  

~He decided, first and foremost, that the way to win the people over was to invigorate the local culture, which had seen a sharp decline as a result of new laws that were unfavorable to business, Adrestia’s growing market monopolies, and the bad reputation of the red light district Ailell. This included some perfectly legitimate campaigning and some under the table type schemes. 

~The result was a flourishing Derdriu Street. While it lacks the prestige of Enbarr Square in Adrestia, it welcomes entertainment that would be considered too “low brow” like comedy, trendy new restaurants, and music venues. Even better, all of it is built on the recently cleaned up river. The Riegan family is involved in all of  it, of course. 

~Casino owner Claude. This exists solely to thirst but maybe it was preexisting and he took it over due to its poor management? If there’s going to be gambling anyway, it should be done right. The extra money’s not so bad, either. But, Claude lounging in a big leather chair in a dark blue blazer with gold brocade, his white shirt unbuttoned low enough to see enough his chest. Enough to make you drool. Enough that you’d definitely get caught staring and probably called out for it because he can’t help himself. Claude with his elbows on the arm rests and fingers folded in front of him as he considers you, gold rings winking because he’s just that ostentatious and appearances are important. Claude asking you how you feel about taking risks in a way that really feels like it has nothing to do with cards, staring at you with a friendly smile that doesn’t meet those calculating eyes—eyes that you know will pick up on every tell. 

~Claude also struck a deal with the Kupala Distillery. They’d been fighting to keep hold of their historic business for years, and Claude offered to help them with that. You know, not for free, but he’s good at making deals that leave everybody happy. 

~The second biggest thing he tackled was the drug trade. For the most part, no one family had ever had a complete handle on that market. The Goneril’s had a hold over the docks for years, but the Edmunds had been moving in and working with the Gloucester family to bolster their power. Distribution was scattered and hard to keep track of as it ultimately circulated wherever there was a profit to be made. Looking at it like this, Claude decided that the only way to fix things was to take control over all of it. In his line of work, shady things like the drug trade are impossible to avoid. At the very least, if he has control over it, he can ensure the product is clean and expel far more unsavory ventures.

~Through these escapades, Claude was able to make alliances with all of the major families. A lot of them had only remained loyal to the Gloucester family out of fear so as soon as they had an alternative, they bolted. This has an unfortunate side effect of revealing how his power is perceived. Every day is a balancing act for Claude. He allows each family to function as they please as long as they’re aware they do so at his mercy. It’s better to keep friends than to control enemies, but even that requires a delicate maneuvering of power.

~However, Claude likes the conflict. He enjoys the game and he especially enjoys winning the game. There’s a certain level of his excusing amorality for the sake of his family and Leicester, but there’s an equal part of him that understands his wrongdoings and deals with it separately. He wouldn’t hold to the naïve “ends justify the means” idea to excuse himself, but he would still argue that his actions have value and are even necessary. If it weren’t him, it would be somebody a lot worse than him. That’s probably something that would linger in the back of everybody’s minds whenever they shook his hand or paid their respects, whenever they began to think of how easy it would be to take him out. Fear, too. So far, Claude’s never done anything shockingly bad, only what was necessary. But with his power and intellect, it’s always a question of what he could do.

~If someone asked him that, Claude would smile that friendly smile and tell them that he would do anything to see his vision made real. Whether or not that’s true remains to be seen. 

~Luckily, Claude’s not alone! Hilda is the stereotypical crime family princess. She joined Claude because he offered her freedom from the overbearing control of her father and brother. Her skill in manipulating everybody around her combined with her reputation as a ditzy rich girl makes her fantastic at gathering information, assuming Claude can get her to do so. But, as long as he’s not being too forceful, she’s surprisingly motivated to weave her way through social circles and charm everyone. Although she would never say it, the order he brought to Leicester, not to mention the entertainment, made everything a lot better for her and her family. Plus, she likes being useful after spending her entire life watching Holst give his heart and soul to family while she did nothing. Ultimately, the information she provides is essential and her relationship with Claude is one of the few either have that’s built on trust, respect, and loyalty. That said, sometimes even Claude gets a little shiver as he watches how easily Hilda can manipulate people.  

~Lorenz was one of Claude’s most disdainful detractors, although a part of that was jealousy. Claude just swept in and did things that Lorenz had been waiting and planning to do once he became the head of the Gloucester family. Even after being on the receiving ends of such vicious attacks, once Claude undeniably had the upper hand in Leicester, he went behind the Gloucester boss’s back to Lorenz and told him that they were going to be friends or enemies, it was Lorenz’s choice. Not threatening him, just pointing out that the fall of the Gloucester family was inevitable under his father’s leadership and that Lorenz didn’t have to suffer for his father’s sins. Probably over mimosas and brunch. Lorenz is proud and has no appreciation for Claude, but he’s not stupid. After they worked out their disagreements and more or less accepted each other, Lorenz and Claude became pretty close. Claude knows that having someone to openly and aggressively disagree with him isn’t a bad thing. Not only that, but Lorenz’s a solid ally with a better grasp on some of the things Claude has difficulty with due to not being a native. Lorenz is willing to admit that Claude is a good leader.

~Marianne is well educated in the realm of the law and political action. The reason the Edmund family saw such success despite their lesser status was because of her adopted father’s genius. which he made sure to share with Marianne. She is invaluable in aiding Claude on the perfectly legitimate side of his business, and helping him hide his tracks for the shady stuff. Raphael is the muscle. Lysithea is a computer genius. Being a sickly shut in with issues that only recently saw treatment, she’s on the Mr. Robot level of hacker mode activated. Ignatz is an architect which is useful since so much of Claude’s power is in the property and infrastructure. He also designed a lot of places to have some neat-o hidey holes. Claude loves buildings that have secrets. Leonie is manages a lot of the physical and pettier side of the work. If someone’s stirring up trouble, she’s likely to pay them a visit as a warning before Claude has to get involved. She used to be a mercenary but being on Claude’s payroll is a lot better of a gig.    

~As for the suits, one thing is very important. Claude would not, under any circumstances, wear something tight on his thighs. I actually kind of like the idea of him going for a 1980′s style modernized. In his post timeskip outfit, he’s already got a hint of that going on with how oversized his outfit looks. The 80′s (rightfully) gets a bad rep for fashion, but it’s also very iconic with those wide-collared suit jackets, matchy-matchy three piece suits, sportscoats with a fun patterned shirt underneath, open blazers, pleated pants with an oversized jacket, and—in particular—the trend of summer suits in shades of tan and cream with colored shirts underneath. Then, combine that with a pair of Ray-Ban Aviators and a topless convertible and you’ve got a distinctly recognizable mob boss who doubles as a devastating heartthrob. I’m not saying he’d do a 1:1 recreation, but you’d definitely see references to the fashion of the era in his outfits. He would wear oxfords or ankle boots. Whatever it was, they’d have to be comfortable. He also doesn’t shy away from jewelry. The earring, of course, and rings when he's feeling particularly decadent. When he’s wearing his shirts unbuttoned Claude could possibly wear a gold chain. I mean, what are you gonna say, no? That gold doesn’t look gorgeous against his skin? That it’s tacky? You’re talking to the man who wore quilted pants. Claude’s not afraid to stand out because he knows he will anyway, nor is he afraid to be seen as unfashionable because he doesn’t particularly care about trends. I also enjoy the idea of him emulating the 80′s as someone who didn’t grow up in a western culture and thus mainly saw things through the lens of movies. Whatever he wears, however, he would look very handsome.

[scrawnydutchman]

The Wizard Shazam vs. Khonshu

In a merging of the DC and Marvel Universe, Khonshu, the Egyptain god of the moon, senses a new power of gods. But this power does not actually come from a god: instead it comes from a wizard, an acronym made from the names of the gods from the Greek and Roman Pantheon. Curious, he sends his avatar, Moon Knight, to find the rock of eternity and steal this power from the wizard’s champion Shazam and store it in one of Moon knight's ankhs. A battle ensues between Moon Knight and Shazam as Khonshu makes his presence known to the wizard at the rock of eternity.

Khonshu: So . . . you are the wizard with the power of gods.

Wizard: I am . . . and though I know of you, Khonshu, your power is not what I have . . .nor would ever want.

Khonshu: You think yourself above me, wizard?

Wizard: I do. I know of Marc Spector. I also know of Steven Grant and Jake Lockley. You’ve taken Spector as your champion specifically because he is damaged. Damaged enough for you to take control of. So desperate for redemption that he and his other selves will do anything you ask. You take advantage of the disturbed. You sicken me.

Khonshu: *laughs* You, of all beings, dare judge me wizard?! At least my champion is an adult. You elected a child to fight your cause for you.

Wizard: I had no choice. I wanted to wait, but--

Khonshu: You could have done precisely that. From what I see your world is in no shortage of powerful heroes; many of which not dissimilar to your . . . “Shazam”. 

Wizard: The same could be said of you, Moon God. The streets of New York in your world have more than their share of vigilantes. Why add another one?

Khonshu: Because none of those other vigilantes possess the will to do what must be done.

Wizard: You mean they won’t kill?

Khonshu: Yes. Either that or they’re too mad even for my liking. Like Frank Castle or Wade Wilson. Ones that disturbed are too much even for me.

Wizard: There we are again. You weighing eligibility for your champion not by virtue or strength, but by manipulability. We are nothing alike, moon God. I chose Billy Batson because he is pure of heart. Because he is noble enough to use my power responsibly.

Khonshu: Yes, well . . .  it seems you are not the most benevolent judge. Who was your champion before Billy Batson, hmm? It was Black Adam, wasn’t it? And look how that turned out.

Wizard: I admit, my judgement is not always keen . . .

Khonshu: That’s an understatement. Your idea of making up for that blunder is giving your power to a child instead. Enlisting a poor foster child to a war he is not emotionally prepared for.

Wizard: I need not justify anything to you, moon God. Especially since you are no stranger to past champions turning on you. Billy Batson has proven more than worthy of the power bestowed upon him. He is a beacon of light in this world plagued with sin. Your champion is nothing but a reminder of how bleak the world can be.

Khonshu: mmm. Hold on to your self righteousness while you can, wizard. When my champion harnesses yours’ power, he will deal out more justice and bring more good than your champion ever has. He will make those who harm travelers of the night pay dearly. Then your champion can go back to being a little boy, freed from the chains you bound him in. We will see how easily you judge then.

Wizard: That little boy is stronger, more resourceful and more clever than you know, Khonshu. Taking his power will not be as easy as you hope. Besides . . . I know you’ve been grooming Marc Spector for this role since his youth. You didn’t make any hard decisions as a desperate measure . . . you’re just selfish and petty.

Khonshu: Do not pretend to know the ways of a god far beyond you, wizard. You will be humbled soon enough.

[mybg3notebook]

Gale: Hypothesis and Analogies – Part 1

Here, I compile several hypotheses that are pretty common to find around, expressing my opinion on them and showing what EA has given us so far to justify them or not. 

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.

Disclaimer about interpretations of Real Life concepts: I’m not a fan of bringing real life issues into plain analogies/allegories in a game which intention in doing so was not made explicit, but the fandom seems to like this aspect and therefore I would like to share those opinions here as well since some seems reasonable despite not being of my taste. This topic may be sensitive for some people. Be aware of it.

Hypothesis: Gale was groomed

Concept

Grooming is building a relationship, trust, and emotional connection with a child or young person (and sometimes their family as well) to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. Grooming allows offenders to slowly overcome natural boundaries long before sexual abuse occurs. On the surface, grooming a child can look like a close relationship between the offending adult, the targeted child and (potentially) the child’s caregivers. The grooming process is often misleading because the offender may be well-known or highly regarded in the community. As a result, it’s easy to trust them. Although grooming is more common among children, it may happen with adults too, especially in work environments.

Stages: First, perpetrators may target and exploit a child’s perceived vulnerabilities: emotional neediness, isolation, neglect, a chaotic home life, or lack of parental oversight, etc. They work to gain the trust of parents/caregivers to lower suspicion.

Once the perpetrator begins to fill the child's needs, they may assume a more important role in the child's life. Perpetrators utilize tactics such as gift giving, flattery, gifting money, and meeting other basic needs. Tactics may also include increased attention and affection towards the targeted child. The perpetrator uses isolation tactics to reinforce their relationship with the child by creating situations in which they are alone together or by cultivating a sense that they love and understand the child in a way that others, even their parents, cannot. 

Once emotional dependence and trust have been built, the perpetrator progressively sexualizes the relationship. When sexual abuse is occurring, perpetrators commonly use emotional manipulation; they make the child believe they are the only person who can meet their emotional and material needs. The child may feel that the loss of the relationship, or the consequences of exposing it, will be more damaging and humiliating than continuing the unhealthy relationship. 

Behavioural consequence

The consequences on victims of grooming tend to be very different depending on the victim's age, personality, and psychology, but some broad leftover traits or behaviours can be summarised as:

They are too eager to please and have a great avoidance of angering others.

Big desire for privacy: they know others will not understand what they lived.

The victim becomes withdrawn, or they may seem troubled by something but unwilling to talk about it. Alternatively, their emotions might become more volatile.

They tend to be unaware of the abuse for a long while even after the relationship ended. 

If they are aware, they tend to display shame and embarrassment for what happened.

They can suffer abandonment issues depending on the way this relationship ended. 

They tend to develop difficulties to maintain relationships.

This situation tends to be particularly invisible or dismissed for men and boys due to social norms about masculinity.

Inside the context of BG3

First, it's important to estimate Gale's age. More or less the fandom agrees he is currently (1492DR) in his early 30s. Mystra returned in 1479DR (read the post about "Mystra and her Chosen ones" for details), so Mystra may have lured Gale into serving her as Chosen when he was around 17 years old (this depends on every player’s perception of Gale’s age)

This gives us a good estimation of the context: When Mystra returned thanks to Elminster—who gave her most of his Silver Fire—she immediately started to strengthen her network of Chosen ones and to work on repairing the Weave to its original state. Due to this unique context, Gale may have been observed by Mystra as a precious asset: a very young wizard who could not only control the Weave but compose it: a great skill to repair a still weak Weave. Furthermore, in the novel Dead Masks (1491DR), it is stated that the best way to cast a spell with a weakened Weave is to "twist" it instead of using it for tapping into the Raw Magic. In this book it is not clear if this is a skill that only Chosen ones have, but it has a strong similarity with Gale's skills.

Although we don't know much about Gale's childhood, if he was neglected or not as a child to be more easily lured by the Goddess, we can agree that it's most likely that Mystra has been watching him as a potential candidate since a child. Gale explicitly says: "I’ve been in touch with the Weave for as long as I can remember". And as far as Forgotten Realms lore goes, Weave and Mystra are the same. We also know that this is a common behaviour of Mystra who has been watching precocious, skilful wizards before choosing them for her goals: for example, Midnight. 

When Gale reached an age that could be considered a "(very) young man", she seduced him, using his passion and love for Magic to lure him. She offered him a deep connection with her and with the Weave: with Magic itself. After seeing Gale's passion for magic, it is understandable that he—as a teenager or a young man—must have been dazzled by her and her proposal. We know that, in the novel Elminster: a mage in the making, she offered to Elminster exactly what he wanted the most: power to make his revenge possible . By the end of the encounter, Elminster became “charmed” by her despite hating her throughout all his life, turning into her devotee. This situation can be interpreted as another example of how Mystra works: she seems to lure her potential Chosen with the promise of giving them what they are most passionate about.

Once Mystra slept with her Chosen, and imbued her divine essence on them, she left them to their own devices, making them wait for her commands. In Elminster’s and Sammaster ‘s case, both were put under tests, being forced—by their own drive to please the Goddess—to develop more magic and personal skills to serve her. In the process, both developed an obsession for her. Elminster's seems to be less self-destructive than Sammaster's, but the latter could be understandable since he always suffered from madness. My point is, the pattern continues with Gale: driven by this obsession of wanting Mystra close, to please her, Gale tried to control an ancient magic, and failed, being abandoned by Mystra due to this mistake.

Gale, according to this interpretation as a victim of grooming, is still stuck in the process: he wants to please Mystra, wants to right his wrongs, even though in some scenes he seems to have been over her, in others he still seems to be very attached to her (it's hard to know which is the most accurate since it's EA and Gale was rushed), he keeps all this trouble in private because he knows nobody will understand.

Unlike an adult who realised he was victim of grooming, Gale seems to be still not over that relationship, showing many of the behavioural consequences: 

Gale is a person who is always eager to please and avoid confrontations. If there is no choice he will use violent means, but he will always push for diplomatic approaches [1,2]. This trait seems to favour this interpretation.

He has a strong sense of privacy to the point that he is considered "shady". A lot of that desire for privacy may come from the fact that he knows no one will understand the unique relationship he had with a bigger entity. This can be seen by choosing the meanest options during the Weave and the Loss. Despite his many troubles, he remains secretive, acknowledging that "some things can't be spoken". 

He is completely unaware of having been a victim of such power imbalance. He doesn't see abuse in it, and he is not performative about this fact, since he is very private on the topic until very late in game.

Nobody can deny his abandonment issues (which are even explicitly pointed out in the dev's notes) [20]

We can infer, by all the information given, that Mystra has been his first (and presumably only) relationship so far, giving a possible hint that he may have decided not to enter another relationship again or may have felt apprehensive about it (even though I personally think this impediment is mainly caused by the “orb”).

I don't completely subscribe to this interpretation because I don’t think Mystra’s main goal has been sexual abuse, but the creation of servants and devotees that allow her to expand her power. To do so, she uses sex as part of the “ritual” that transforms certain mortals into Chosen Ones. The way in which this is indirectly explained in the novels makes me remember the concept of Zeus and his abuse of mortals: he spreads part of his divinity in the form of demi-god offspring. In Mystra’s case, she seems to leave part of her divinity in the Chosen one that slept with her: the “seed” of semi-divinity. 

However, it’s not clear if sleeping with her Chosen ones is a procedure she always does. Her daughters may have inherited her divinity when she conceived them while possessing a mortal body, but other female Chosen Ones seemed to be out of this process. Ed Greedwood also has a constant discourse in his novels where he explains that magic is “better” understood or much easily wielded by females because “they are connected to their emotions” and another stereotype of this kind. What seems to be clear is that Forgotten Realm lore hides as much as possible its queerness, and when it comes to Mystra, this habit of sleeping with her Chosen seems to apply (or at least make it more explicit) only to male mortals. So in short, her main goal was to catch another useful mortal to her group of Chosen Ones, and to do so, she lured Gale with all what she could offer. I also believe gods are gods, and they are immensely overpowered and entitled to do whatever they want in this fantasy world. They don't follow mortal rules, so they may have little scruples to do anything they see necessary to achieve their own goals, no matter if the consequences of their actions affect children, teenagers, or adults. 

Mystra in particular has been a very neutral goddess (due to her many rebirths), not particularly cruel as an evil deity could be, but not completely selfless either: she has conceived her daughters using a mortal vessel who previously gave her consent but without knowing the consequences of giving birth each year for a decade while containing a goddess inside. Mystra also profited off of Sammaster's madness (some Harpers who wrote Sammaster’s reports suspect she could have been able to cure him): she may have actively decided not to in order to let his genius madness increase her realm of power/magic. Therefore, Mystra may have had little scruples to use a very young Gale enamoured with magic to turn him into another Chosen whose skills could fix the Weave given the context that it had been severely weakened after the Spellplague. So the grooming is not completely misplaced in my opinion.

Gale's Chosen selection process is not different to what we can read in the book of the Cult of the Dragon, where Sammaster became obsessed with Mystra after sleeping with her and developed metamagic as a consequence to impress her. Or in the novel Elminster, the making of a mage, where Elmister originally despised Mystra and every magic user. However, after being in her presence, he fell for her charm, and never could get over his "love" for her, suffering a lot of painful circumstances to just be a "good devotee" and serve her.

Mystra is written in most novels as the living allegory of the beautiful "mean" woman who will always ask for more from her poor captivated men, but she will never be completely satisfied, no matter how much they sacrifice. She acknowledges the effort, but she is always asking for more. Only with Elminster she actively tried to save him from the Hells, showing, for a change, that her Chosen can be a bit more than mere pawns in the big game of divine power. However, it's important to highlight that the last rebirth of Mystra has changed her: in the novel Dead Masks some of the Seven Sisters explicitly say that Mystra has turned paranoid, asking each of her Chosen to do missions that the others cannot know. She has become more secretive and cryptic than ever. 

Mystra's actions seem to have worse connotation if we think that she can have visions of the future, as she had when she decided that Sammaster had to be her Chosen: she had foresaw the death of another Chosen and she wanted him to fill that vacuum before the event happened. So she may have foreseen Gale’s actions in his naive way to impress her. Maybe she wanted him to do it, so she could have a new piece of magic in her realm. But this is mere speculation, we will need the full release of the game to have the answer.

As I explained, despite not being a fan of it, the interpretation of grooming is not a bad one. It fits mostly if it's applied to a teenage boy, and probably it would have been taken a bit more seriously and less prone to jokes inside the fandom if Gale were a female character and Mystra a male God. 

Hypothesis: Gale has abandonment Issues

Concept

Abandonment issues arise when an individual has a strong fear of losing loved ones. A fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety. It often begins in childhood when a child experiences a traumatic loss. Children who go through this experience may then begin to fear losing other important people in their lives. Some individuals continue to fear abandonment as they grow older. Although it is less common, abandonment issues can also sometimes begin in adulthood. 

The loss often stems from a trauma, such as a death or divorce. Emotional abandonment, where a parent or caregiver is physically present but emotionally absent, may also give rise to abandonment issues later in life. It is not clear what makes one person develop this fear, since not all humans who have experienced similar losses do it. Trauma — potentially from abuse or poverty — may play a role, as may the level of emotional support that a person receives following a loss. These issues can have a significant effect on a person’s life and relationships because they fear that the other person will leave them at any moment. 

Behavioural signs/consequences

Being overly eager to please ( a “people pleaser”) 

Pushing others away to avoid rejection

Jealousy of the partner or the others when in a relationship.

Trouble trusting their partner's intentions.

Feeling insecure about their relationships.

Codependency

Need for continuous reassurance that others love them and will stay with them

Persisting in unhealthy relationships

Inability to maintain relationships: or moving quickly from one relationship to another or sabotaging them

Inside the context of BG3

I'm not going to explain this in great detail since it's spread in most of the posts I’ve done about Gale's analysis. What it's clear is that Gale has a constant fear for abandonment once he starts caring for Tav as a friend or/and lover, and this fear makes him prone to do things of poor taste. This fear seems to make him look for acceptance that only through a night of intimacy can give him. This information is apparently in the book he read, making us guess that his experience with relationships is rather poor if nonexistent. Dev's notes also reinforce the idea that Gale fears abandonment:

Gale: It is my truth, finally revealed. It is this folly that led Mystra to abandon me completely. I can only hope you won’t abandon me as well. After all we’ve been through. After the night we spent together. Surely we can brave even this side by side Dev's note: Solemn. Full of yearning, his news will not lead to him being abandoned by the player. 

Gale: Loyalty is such a… such a very rare commodity. Dev's note: The reference to loyalty foreshadows Mystra leaving him. 

So far in EA, we can see that Gale checks some behavioural consequences of this fear: he is always eager to please, approaching Tav with courtesy and jovial manners, only displaying his most acidic side to a Tav whose actions are evil. In that case, Gale cares little if Tav leaves him. With the Loss scene we can see that it is hard for him to give his trust to others, pushing them away because they would not understand the grave mistake he made. His trust demands constant progression from the Stew scene, to the Weave, to the Loss scene. If he is romanced, he asks several times if Tav is thinking of the Weave moment. When Tav asks him this question, Gale will deflect, always asking back to have Tav’s answer first before giving his: it could be interpreted as Gale looking for constant reassurance in the blooming relationship. 

However, in my opinion, the best situation that shows his abandonment issues is during our meeting with Gandrel. Gale disapproves of handing over Astarion, by telling Tav about an anecdote of a dog turning old and mean: how his friend got rid of the animal just because it was an inconvenience. This is very curious since Gale's mistrust for Astarion is not a secret: he stated many times that Astarion is a danger to the group, and his wickedness causes him to strongly dislike him. The reason for this is quite obvious if we see both lists of approvals: mostly what one approves the other disapproves. Despite all this, Gale strongly judges Tav for handing Astarion over, and his disapproval for doing it shows that Gale is not lying on the matter: the meta-knowledge is trustworthy information. 

This can be understood better when Tav defends Astarion against Gandrel: Gale approves twice of defending him. If Astarion is not in the group when meeting the monster hunter, the first approval happens when Tav recognises that Astarion is part of their companions/friends (therefore, Tav is showing care for their group). The second approval happens when Tav reinforces their loyalty to Astarion insisting that they won’t give his location (this is a clear display of loyalty that Gale acknowledges as rare. See the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 2", section: "Proposition to Cheat" for more details). Although Gale will explicitly question this decision, he secretly approved it (the approvals we saw are meta-knowledge: only the player sees them). Considering the undeniable context that Gale deeply dislikes Astarion, we may interpret this as Gale seeing in Tav a loyal person who will not abandon someone they care for, even if that person endangers them. Loyalty is something that resounds deeply in Gale due to his abandonment issues. 

 Another detail on this matter can be seen during the party. If Tav arranges spending the night with a companion and then asks (non-romanced) Gale the same, he will answer:

Gale: You are all too quick to abandon the one you promised yourself to. It’s not a quality I admire.

This line shows that first, Gale is not interested in casual sex; he needs the connection that the Weave provides and Tav’s explicit, previous romantic interest in it. Second, when Gale is romanced but Tav sleeps with someone else, Gale will not interfere in that affair, but he may not like it (due to his, I suppose, jealous comment since he doesn’t display an approval penalty for this). However, he seems to equate loyalty with commitment, understanding that affair as a fling but believing he still holds the romantic interest of Tav, hence his proposition the next day. More details in the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 2", section: "Proposition to Cheat".

---------

Sources for both parts:

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ( 5V)

Some concepts were summarised from: https://melcrowecounsellor.com www.d2l.org/child-grooming-signs-behavior-awareness/

This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

[anti-catradora-receipts]

Catra abused Adora.

I want to start off by explaining my own experience with watching She-Ra for the first time. I started to watch the show and continued to watch it for various reasons. But I want to make it clear that I wasn’t watching the show to see who ended up with who. I enjoyed the show mostly because it had such wonderful messages surrounding healthy families, friendships, and relationships. And so, one of the main themes of the show ended up being: abuse. 

The show demonstrated that abuse can take a variety of forms. The show demonstrated that people can suffer from abuse in different ways. The show presented that people can break the cycle of abuse and people can continue the cycle of abuse. The show demonstrated that in some cases people can try and help an abusive person, but the abusive person may abuse the person trying to help. The show also highlighted that people are allowed to leave abusive relationships.

Before we begin, I want to note that I won’t be answering the question “Did Catra’s own experiences of abuse influence her actions?” Because the answer to this question is obviously Yes. And I sympathize with Catra and the fact that she was abused while she was growing up. In addition, there’s a lot of complexity and depth surrounding the abuse Catra received. But Catra also continued the cycle of abuse. And in real life, people who have been abused can also end up abusing other people. 

Now, since we’ll be focusing on Catradora in this commentary, we must look strictly at the interactions between Catra and Adora. The reason behind this is we are evaluating only whether the relationship between Catra and Adora is healthy. In addition, if your friend told you they were being abused, would you ask the question, “I understand, but what about your abuser? Was your abuser abused?”. No, I don’t think you would. You’d ask your friend, “Is there any way I can help?” And so, in this case, Adora is your friend and Catra is the abuser.

Thus, the main question remains: Did Catra abuse Adora? And the answer is Yes.

(Please note that the underlined statements are hyperlinked to websites providing information on abuse.)

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Catra has unrealistic expectations of Adora:

Catra makes unreasonable demands of Adora.

Catra expects Adora to put everything aside and meet her needs.

Catra is constantly dissatisfied no matter how much Adora gives.

Catra invalidates Adora:

Catra undermines, dismisses, and distorts Adora’s perceptions of reality.

Catra accuses Adora of being "crazy”.

Catra refuses to acknowledge or accept Adora’s opinions or ideas as valid.

Catra dismisses Adora’s requests, wants, and needs as ridiculous or unmerited.

Catra suggests that Adora’s perceptions are wrong or that Adora cannot be trusted by saying things like “you’re not making sense”.

Catra uses emotional blackmail:

Catra manipulates and controls Adora by making Adora feel guilty.

Catra uses Adora’s fears, values, compassion, or other hot buttons to control Adora or the situation.

Catra exaggerates Adora’s flaws or points Adora’s flaws out in order to deflect attention or to avoid taking responsibility for her poor choices or mistakes.

Catra denies that an event took place/lies about it.

Catra acts superior:

Catra treats Adora like Catra’s inferior.

Catra blames Adora for her mistakes.

Catra doubts everything Adora says and attempts to prove Adora wrong.

Catra talks down to Adora.

Catra uses sarcasm when interacting with Adora.

Catra acts like she’s always right, knows what’s best, and is smarter than Adora.

Catra controls and isolates Adora:

Catra treats Adora like a possession or property.

Signs of Physical Abuse

Catra kidnaps Adora.

Catra scratches Adora.

Catra shoves Adora.

Catra kicks Adora.

Catra slaps Adora.

Catra uses weapons on Adora.

Catra physically restrains Adora.

Catra attempts to murder Adora multiple times.

Adora suffered from Catra’s abuse and Adora displayed the effects of this abuse:

Short Term Effects

confusion

fear

hopelessness

shame

Long-term effects

guilt

anxiety

Adora also tried tactics that are not effective ways of dealing with abuse:

Adora arguing with Catra.

Adora trying to understand or make excuses for Catra.

Adora attempting to appease Catra.

Adora also figures out how to properly deal with Catra’s abuse:

Adora makes herself a priority.

Adora establishes boundaries.

Adora stops blaming herself.

Adora realizes she can’t fix Catra.

Adora avoids engaging with Catra.

Adora builds a support network.

Adora deserves to be in a healthy relationship, which consists of:

Trust

Adora should be confident her partner won’t do anything to hurt her or ruin the relationship.

In a healthy relationship, trust comes easily and Adora shouldn’t have to question her partner’s intentions or whether her partner has her back.

Honesty

Adora should be able to be truthful and candid without fearing how her partner will respond. 

Adora’s partner may not like what Adora has to say, but should respond to disappointing news in a considerate way.

Respect

Adora’s partner should value Adora’s beliefs and opinions.

Adora’s partner should love Adora for who she is.

Adora should feel comfortable setting boundaries and should feel confident that her partner will respect those boundaries. 

Adora’s partner should cheer for Adora when Adora achieves something. 

Adora’s partner should support Adora’s hard work and dreams, and appreciate Adora.

Equality

Adora’s relationship should feel balanced.

Both Adora and her partner should put the same effort into the success of the relationship. 

Neither Adora’s nor her partner’s opinions should dominate. Instead, they both should hear each other out and make compromises when they don’t want the same thing. 

Adora should feel like her needs, wishes and interests are just as important as her partner’s. 

Kindness

Adora’s partner should be caring and empathetic to Adora, and should provide comfort and support.

In a healthy relationship, Adora’s partner will do things that they know will make Adora happy. 

Kindness should be a two-way street in Adora’s relationship: it’s given and returned. 

Adora’s partner should show compassion for Adora and the things Adora cares about.

Taking Responsibility

Adora’s partner should own up to their actions and words. 

Adora’s partner should not place blame and should be able to admit when they make a mistake. 

Adora’s partner should genuinely apologize when they’ve done something wrong and continually try to make positive changes to better the relationship. 

Adora’s partner should be able take ownership for the impact of their words or behaviour had, even if it wasn’t their intention.

Healthy Conflict

Adora and her partner should be able to openly and respectfully discuss issues and confront disagreements non-judgmentally. 

Adora’s partner should not belittle or yell during an argument.

Adora’s relationship should have healthy conflict by recognizing the root issue and addressing it respectfully before it escalates into something bigger. 

Fun

Adora should enjoy spending time with her partner.

Adora and her partner should bring out the best in each other.  

A healthy relationship should feel easy and make Adora happy. 

Adora should be able to let loose, laugh, and be themselves.

Adora’s relationship should not bring Adora’s mood down but should cheer Adora up. 

Adora’s relationship doesn’t have to be fun 100% of the time, but the good times should definitely outweigh the bad.

In conclusion:

Whatever Catra says, Catra’s violence towards Adora is unacceptable. 

Catra’s violent behavior is always Catra’s responsibility, not Adora’s.

Catra’s abuse is not okay or justifiable.

There are so many scenes throughout the series where Catra emotionally and physically abused Adora, and these scenes are captured on this blog. 

I just want to add that even when Catra emotionally and physically abused Adora, Adora continuously tried to reach out and help Catra. Adora gave Catra so many chances for her to apologize and rectify her mistakes. But Catra didn’t. Not only that, when Adora left, Catra continued to abuse people. Catra emotionally abused Scorpia. Then, when Scorpia left, Catra began abusing Lonnie. Catra’s abuse didn’t stop when Adora left, Catra just found a new victim.

In addition, there were so many significant moments of growth for Adora. Adora found people who supported her and did not abuse her. Adora began to heal from Catra’s abuse. Adora no longer made excuses for Catra. Adora realized that she is not responsible for Catra’s atrocious actions. 

Adora was strong and brave for moving forward in her life without her abuser. 

Moreover, Adora is a victim of abuse. Catra abused Adora emotionally and physically. Catra repeatedly admits to manipulating Adora in order to meet her own selfish goals. Catra did not show any remorse for her abuse against Adora throughout seasons 1 to 4. Catra continuously blamed Adora for her own atrocious actions. And finally, Catra attempted to murder Adora on several occasions. 

And here’s the most important thing. I don’t care who Adora would have ended up with. I just care about the fact that Adora ended up with Catra. What I mean is: I would rather have Adora end up without a partner, than end up with Catra.

Irrespective of whether you agree or disagree with my points on Catradora, these will be final points:

Abuse can happen anywhere at any time.

Abuse can happen in any relationship, including lesbian relationships.

Abuse is unacceptable.

Make sure YOU can recognize signs of emotional and physical abuse. 

Make sure YOU know that it’s okay to leave an abusive relationship.

Make sure YOU can trust and depend on your PARTNER/FRIEND. 

Make sure YOUR PARTNER/FRIEND knows they can trust and depend on YOU. 

Make sure YOU are being treated with kindness and support in your relationships. 

Make sure YOU are treating YOUR PARTNER/FRIEND with kindness and support. 

Make sure YOU are in healthy relationships and friendships.

In conclusion, EVERYONE deserves to be treated with love and respect.

Thank you.

[truthteller-lumen]

Nox (cynicallyinkless, fiveminutemeal, lorimer-no, etc) is an internet predator, a scammer, and a chronic liar. Here’s what you need to know.

He always made it seem like I had a choice and free will but... he manipulated me so bad that leaving wasn’t an option because I felt so bad for him. It’s so insidious. - one of Nox’s many ex-partners

Nox (Noximillian, Noxim Raven, Cynicallyinkless, @SirAlthair, @SirAlthairx,  fiveminutemeal, onehalfdime, lorimer-no) is an internet predator.

He has pursued teenagers and young women nearly 10 years his junior. He is 32 and his latest partner was 19.

He has emotionally abused his numerous partners via gaslighting, emotionally manipulative language, and negging, as well as other abusive tactics.

He has cheated on his partners with multiple other women_. _Though he claims to be in happily polyamorous relationships, many of the partners he was dating were not happy about the situation. He often kept the truth about his other partners from them.

He has lied about his entire identity to his partners, up to and including faking his own voice and sending pictures and nudes that were not of him. He also lied about other details of his life, such as his family structure (claiming his mother was dead and that he had adopted a daughter) and his educational status (claiming he had finished his degree), which leads to: 

He has accepted nearly $3500 from his friends in order to fund his education, then did not finish his degree. What the money was used for is unclear, but he took multiple expensive trips with his friends after receiving the cash.

Be aware. Know the facts. Protect yourself. If you’re in a relationship like this, seek help immediately. If you see the warning signs of a relationship like this, get out as fast as you can.

More information is below the cut.

Nox’s accounts and handles are listed at the bottom of the article. Want more details? Read on.

There was one girl, first. Then more, younger and younger. More trusting, more accepting, more susceptible to his abuse. He had them compete for his attention, let them fight among themselves. And he lied to them, over and over again. He let them throw their whole lives away, their finances, their hearts, for someone who didn’t really exist.

This is a story of abuse, lies, and manipulation. This is a story that we never want to see repeated again.

Names have been censored. Labels may not be consistent between conversations to protect the identities of those speaking.

---

Nox met us when we were all teenagers. Young adults. - one of Nox’s many ex-partners

Nox has pursued girls over 10 years his junior.

Over the years, the ages of the partners Nox has taken has trended downwards dramatically. When the people his age began to reject him for his behavior, he wandered until he found a group he was accepted by.

First, she was 28. Then, 22. Then, 19. And that’s not even the complete list. 

Though she was 13 years his junior, Nox would often talk to his youngest partner in disturbing ways, including the topic of pregnancy, to the point where she had already rewritten her entire life plan after college just to accommodate having a child with him.

Even those who were not romantically involved with him were subject to sexual talk, including minors:

He cased these girls. He approached the most vulnerable, easily isolated ones.

He went after me after prodding around and kinda guessing I wasn't too close with people that didn't like him. - one of Nox’s many ex-partners

These girls were not only subject to romantic advances, but gaslighting, abuse, and controlling behavior, as well.

---

If I did anything he didn’t like or if I offered that I didn’t like something, he would just stop communicating and talking to me for days on end. - one of Nox’s many ex-partners

Nox has emotionally abused his partners.

The common thread in the swathe of abuse he has cut over the past 10+ years is control. Don’t drink, he’d say. Don’t cut your hair. Don’t leave me, or I’ll kill myself. Every action he’d take - from punishing his partners with the silent treatment to ranting and raving at them when something didn’t go his way - was taken with the intent to control their actions.

Below is an account from his longest partner of 9 years.

After breaking up with this partner, he posted to Tumblr, implying that they were the one who had broken up with him:

But the breakup was anything but shitty. In fact, he was the one who had initiated it:

A benign breakup, initiated by him, over increasing distance.

His posts on Tumblr were no more than sharpened knives, directed at his ex of 9 years. Look at how much you’ve hurt me. Look, this is all your fault.

At the time he posted these posts, he had already been dating his 19-year-old partner for several months.

Not even his youngest partners were safe from his controlling behavior.

He used them against each other:

He isolated them from their real-world communities:

He isolated them from online friends whom he knew would expose his abuse for what it was:

And he tried to control what they did in their free time:

He would fly off the rails if he thought they disobeyed him, in this case for drinking when he didn’t want them to:

And if he didn’t get his way, he would threaten suicide:

---

He said he was poly... but he couldn’t tell his other girlfriends about me yet. Not until we were fully fully official... I didn’t know when he could say we were official, though. So I believed him about it. Only then I realized that he was hiding me from his other flings and partners. - one of Nox’s many ex-partners

Nox has cheated on his partners.

He justifies it under the guise of polyamory. The girls, a decade his junior, would often be led to believe that they were the most special girlfriend, and he made no attempt to communicate otherwise. Despite this, he would often claim that he was “single” while telling his younger flings that they were still dating.

His ex of 9 years didn’t know about any of these girls. He never told her.

---

The way he talks is so smooth and persuasive, it's so easy to be manipulated. I’m just crying so hard because it was a lie. I gave myself up to a liar and a fraud and my heart can't accept it yet. - one of Nox’s many ex-partners

Nox lied about his entire identity to his partners and friends. He is a chronic liar.

To his close friends, his mother was dead, and he’d adopted a daughter. His family had abandoned him, he was living alone, and he needed help financially. These were all things they were told, and they believed him.

His mother is alive. There is no daughter. He lives with his family.

Fake dead mom.

Fake adopted daughter.

To his partners, he portrayed himself as a charming, handsome man. He sent nudes that were not his own. The selfies he sent didn’t match up with his real life appearance. He used a voice modulator to fool them into thinking he was someone he wasn’t. His web of lies is so deep that no one is sure what the truth is.

He pretended to be a cis man to his partner, and made sexual advances on her without disclosing otherwise. He is not a cis man, and the terms of his partner’s consent were violated.

The explicit picture he sent to her to further the lie of being a cis man was pulled from PornHub.

No one is really sure who the person in his selfies is.

He used a voice modulator to pretend he was someone he was not. (Full disclosure: getting closer to being someone you’re comfortable with is totally fine, and if using a voice modulator does that for you, then go for it. The chronic lying to partners that deserved full disclosure before intimacy is the issue here.)

He kept everything from his partners.

---

He mostly came to me for money because I helped pay his tuition for 3 years on my own. Thinking that I was helping to support him when his family wouldn’t... But turns out I was just being used. - one of Nox’s ex-friends

Nox accepted a large sum of money from his friends in goodwill to pay for his tuition. It’s unclear where the money went.

He lied to them, saying that his family had abandoned him and that he was living alone, unable to pay for his tuition. Despite struggling financially themselves, his friend and ex contributed $3500 to his education.

First, his friend contributed nearly a grand to his education while living on minimum wage.

Then, his ex contributed a whopping 2.4 grand.

He accepted this money happily, and recently informed the first friend, who had not kept up with him in a while, that he had graduated medical school.

But other friends with more recent experience thought otherwise. Below is a quote from yet another ex who knew him closely and recently.

And very recently, he contacted his ex of 9 years - the one who had contributed 2.4 grand - to tell her that he had not, in fact, used the money towards his schooling, or finished his schooling at all. He lied.

A poor, ailing young brother who needed money for his future. He spun his use of their generous aid as a good deed.

But was it even used that way at all?

He would often go on lavish and expensive trips with one of his younger partners at the same time that he was receiving money from his friends. Below is a receipt from a trip he took together with that partner, correlated with the timing of the money he received.

This happened while he was still dating the first ex who had donated 2.4 grand to his tuition. 

If he was strapped for money, why was he taking expensive trips with his side flings? If he needed to fund his brother’s future, why was he paying for lavish accommodations for him and his friends?

And why was he buying expensive gifts for them, too? Below is a quote from another younger partner (different from the one above).

_

If even one more girl reads this and realizes she’s in danger, then it was worth it. - an anonymous contributor

Know what abuse looks like. It could happen to you.

If your relationship looks even remotely like this, heavily consider whether or not you feel happy being there. If you’re working to escape a relationship like this, we see you. We believe in you.

If you are in a relationship with Nox and want to seek help, or have an experience you want to share, our ask box is open. Your personal information will not be published.

The following are some resources on what abuse looks like and how to escape it:

What are the signs of emotional abuse?

5 signs of emotional abuse

5 ways to escape an abusive relationship

Be wary of who you speak to online. There are more people like this out there. It is not a crime to be loving, trustful and kind, but it is unforgivable for someone to abuse that trust, to lie and to manipulate their way into receiving kindness.

And all abusers get their due. Nox, this is yours.

Get some fucking help. Stop abusing young women.

---

Nox’s handles and accounts

Nox has been known as:

Nox, Noximillian, Noxim Raven, Cynicallyinkless, @SirAlthair, @SirAlthairx,  fiveminutemeal, onehalfdime, lorimer-no

On the online game Final Fantasy XIV, he is Balthier Strahll on Mateus at the time of writing. His character ID is 20282710. He is active in the RP community on Crystal datacenter and frequents player-run RP establishments such as “The Gilded Knob” on Malboro.

This blog will be updated with any other handles or accounts as they become known to us. Have an account that isn’t listed here? Send us a message.

[vinylhazza]

ok so we all know that gray rushes/is eager about his relationships, but this time, what if the reader asks him to slow down or something? like she’s just getting started with her degree and she wants to slow down a bit, not rush into things, and eth agrees and gray is finally happy? also sorry if u aren’t taking concepts or requests lol

i feel like...low key....he needs this irl lol

this man doesn’t even have the phrase slow down in his vocabulary so when you say those words, the look of confusion that crossed over his face was to be expected. you knew you would have to spell it out for him, at least slightly. he gets in over his head with every relationship and wonders why they somehow fall apart so soon. some girls fall into that spell: the attractive guy wants me so it must be something real and true and they fall before they ever really form a strong bond, sliding to third base a time or two and tricking themselves into thinking it’s deeper than surface level lust. 

but you, you are not the ‘kick it into high gear’ type of gal and you thought you made that pretty obvious from the start. grayson gets attached easily, we all know that. you take your days one at a time, scope out the pros and cons of every situation. and you know, yeah it might be a trauma response from the countless times people have fucked you over and made you out to be a fool from a very young age, but that same mindset has helped you dodge many bullets over the years.

his first initial infatuation—it’s no different with you, but you are how do you say—hyper aware of his intentions and motives. you’ve been screwed over, toyed with, used your fair share of times and the world be damned to hell if some buff fluffy brown haired boy with amber eyes and a smile that oozes light and happiness comes in treating you like you’re this...lost treasure and you just believe him. believe all of the pretty words, take his hand and follow him into the dark, blindly let yourself love someone again not be sure of what they expect out of the relationship. and damn you if you let him swoop in and carry you off like a princess from a tall tower. like he’s this knight in shining armor. you won’t be fooled by the cloud of attraction and get yourself in too deep before you’re completely on the same page with one another. and first things first; you aren’t someone that needs to be saved, and neither is he.

you understand the puppy love stage of relationships. it’s bound to happen: the subtle obsession with your partner, that new light fuzzy feeling you get thinking about them, thinking of what they might be doing when they’re not with you, if they are thinking about you too, listening to all the sappy love songs and suddenly all you can think about is the color of their eyes after they’ve laughed real hard, the dip in their brow when they are thinking for a long time, the electric feeling that zaps your skin when they touch you, the way their voice lowers two octaves when they lean over and whisper something sweet in your ear, it’s all there for grayson. you know you’re falling in deep, and maybe that’s what scares you. maybe it’s the way you are so willing to trust him early on that leads you to the conversation of slowing things down. for the protection of the both of you, it’s not one sided.

not only had grayson made you feel secure in the very beginning of the sudden relation you had started, but he kept consistent with his actions and words. something that was unusual and strange after dealing with men that never really grew up beyond 16. at the stage of your life you’re in, there isn’t any room for a childish game of tag with a boy who didn’t have any intentions of sticking around in the first place.

you worked hard for everything you had, you always have. your upbringing wasn’t one of sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. you didn’t have it easy. it wasn’t something that you used to weazle your way out of situations, excuse your occasional bad behavior, but it was something you thought about when you did catch glimpse of your growing attraction to someone. especially grayson, who was...one of the nicest men you had ever met. charming really didn’t even cut it. but just starting on your degree...complicated things. made you really want to reiterate to him that your degree, it was important to you and you fought tooth and nail to be able to even touch a college textbook. you couldn’t be blinded by his charms and be distracted from your dreams. there were times where the world seemed dark and hopeless and with hard work and perseverance you climbed out of that hole, just to stand as the strong intelligent woman he was falling head over heels for. you didn’t get that way over night. and you sure as well weren’t going to screw up your studies because you found someone that maybe wanted to stay, maybe didn’t. if the two of you were to work out and keep developing that beautiful bond - you hoped it would be as a team, one with understanding and clarity.

in your past experience, once a man knows he’s got you hooked, that’s the green light to treat you how they’ve wanted to the entire time. their once soft caress turns possessive, trust turns to assumption and blame, dates grow less and less frequent, and are left to sit and wonder what you ever saw in the first place. tricked, manipulated, and heartbroken. it’s never been honesty, love, and acceptance first. it’s “i love you” and “i care” when their actions don’t support their claims. you promised that the next boy you catches your heartstrings and strums until you’ve fallen under their spell, you would know exactly what you’re falling for. that means taking it slow, knowing what makes grayson tick, what he hates, what he adores, what brings him peace and comfort, if he cries during chick flicks, what kind of person he wants to be remembered as, if he fears the unknown as much as you do, was makes him completely and totally happy, and what infuriates him the fastest of all, what hardships has he had to face alone, what haunts his mind in the dead of night where no one can hear him crying, and what thought makes him smile when he’s doing nothing in particular. for once, just this once, you’re heart longed to know more that what meets the eye. you wanted to know if your feelings were 3 demensional, encompassing the good and bad about grayson, or if you truly just loved the way he fucked you.

but most importantly, you wanted him to know you. know the things about you that most people didn’t have the pleasure of knowing, all while making your dreams come true.

you thought maybe it was a mistake reaching out to ethan in your time of dire need of a shoulder to lean on, but it ended up being just the conversation and pat on the back you needed. the right nudge from the right person to have you sitting down with the softest soul you’ve come to find. grayson wasn’t someone you wanted to hurt, and ethan reassuring you that by talking to him and making him slow down, it would save him from more heartache than anything.

“i think it’s going to mellow him out, actually,” ethan nods along with your words, picking at a stray strand on his pants.

he wants what’s best for his twin, which is the exact reason you wanted to have this conversation with him. you didn’t want to mess something up and be rash and childish before anything real really even started, “grayson doesn’t really do ‘slow’, so this will be good for him.”

“i just don’t want to hurt him you know? i don’t want to be another girl that leaves so suddenly when he gets a bit too much. i know those are special circumstances and he was desperate with the desire of finding that special connection...” a pause to catch your breath, nervous from the vulnerability you’re showing already, “but when i make a commitment, i keep it. i want him to know that. i just want him to be secure within his decision to want...whatever this is with me. i want to be able to know him enough that my feelings for him are justified. and vice versa...i don’t want him to think that because i want to slow down, means i want to stop.”

“he will understand more than you think. if there is one thing i know about him, it’s that he will bend over backwards to make something he wants work. if he really wants you like i know he does, he will slow it down and make sure that you are comfortable. sounds like he doesn’t have much choice.” and it’s nice hearing those words from someone you haven’t gotten the chance to grow all that close with yet. hell you’re not even that close with grayson yet. you’re in the beginning stages still, learning your way around life with him in it. independence has always been one of the things that made you, well, you - and Grayson must understand you need more time before moving forward. 

“really?” your heavy sigh shows your nerves are shot from worrying about not just school, but about the many different outcomes of the talk you need to have with Grayson. it has to happen, but you’ve never been one for confrontation even if it’s ensuring a positive outcome for both parties. 

another shrug with a kind smile from ethan warms your heart, “just talk to him. he’ll appreciate your honesty. most of the other girls got wigged out and dipped, it’s going to mean so much more that you are wanting to stick it out even if it’s going too fast for you right now.”

growing up in a family full of huggers really shows when you step forward to wrap your arms around his waist for a split second, appreciative that he listened to understand and actually help you.

“thank you e, i hope he doesn’t just think i’m trying to make excuses and leave.”

when you pull away he is smiling still, pleasantly surprised by your friendly hug. with a light squeeze to your shoulder and a soft sort of smirk playing on his lips, he gives you just the advice you needed.

“something i’ve learned being his twin; give him a little more credit.”

when  you have that conversation that had you so nervous your stomach tossed and turned all day long, you make sure you’re chanting ethans words over in your head. breathe. it’ll be fine. he will understand. give him a little more credit. he really wants you. the words play like a song through your head as you wait for him to sit back down on the white floral sheet in the softest patch of grass in your backyard. water spills from the glass in his hand as he plops onto the ground in a heap of giggles, muttering “fuck” softly, trying (and failing of course) to wipe the water off of his light blue button up shirt. it’s a good color on him, and you’re momentarily distracted from how attractive he looks in the late afternoon sun. 

when you first met grayson, he had stumbled upon you sitting all by yourself in a small park, book in hand, peach in the other, completely unsuspecting that you would catch his heart captive when you glanced up with a smile that just about made him pass out. you were still surprised months later that he had had the nerve to say a word to you, he looked ill with anxiety to even utter a word. it was a day you’d never forget - and you would try and remember that innocent look in his eye when you explain why you had planned this picnic in the first place. to talk, to listen, to understand. 

you figure if you really want to have the conversation be as smooth as it can be for the both of you, you could take it back to the very start. a simple picnic, with a lot of hope for the future.

after the laughter fit falls down, it’s time to get to the root of the issue. you prepare yourself with a deep breath in, holding in for a few seconds with your eyes closed, then slowly releasing when you look back at the questioning raise of his eyebrows. when he cocks his head to the side, you know it’s now or never. if you don't say it now, you might regret it. 

“I actually brought you here so that we could have a talk real quick,” you finally explain, making sure to maintain eye contact and drink in ever facial expression he may have - just so you know how to go forward. 

“you know you can talk to me about anything, is something wrong?” He’s so soft with the way he talks, never suspecting anything like what he’s about to hear, and it almost hurts to know you’ll be disappointing him in some way. 

“nothing is really wrong...i just think maybe...we should slow it down for a bit.” 

“what do you mean? we just got here,” he chuckles, taking a sip of his water with a shake of his head. not understanding, his fingers fiddle with the fringe at the bottom of your sundress. 

you continue without stopping, ignoring his joke and hopefully make him see you aren’t here to fool around, at least not entirely. it was a serious talk for once and you wanted him to respect what you had to say. 

“-not go so fast we miss the exciting part of getting to know one another,” you carry on to a now confused, sorrowful looking grayson, finally understanding that you weren’t talking so much about the picnic - but the two of you as a whole. 

“i still want this—still want you i mean. but i just...want us to be us for a bit and not worry so much about the next step and then the one after that and the one after that and-” 

he holds his hand up to stop you, cutting you off while looking at the ground deep in thought. setting the water down slowly, he climbs back up to his feet. you watch him patiently while he treads through the clipped grass, knowing he’s trying hard not to overreact and over think. After what feels like eternity, he sits down with his hands hanging off his knees, picking at a blade of grass he’s ripped from the earth beneath him. 

“have i pushed you?” 

sweet boy, always trying to take blame.

with a small smile you shake your head, “you haven’t pushed me at all gray. I just want this to grow - want us to grow. i don’t want you getting in too deep before you’re sure you’re ready for all of the things i’m looking for in the future and likewise.” 

another nod of understanding, he was listening close. his respect for you grow tenfold, you had the courage to not let your lust or even affection cloud your judgement and you were honest with him. something that grayson admired most from anyone he let into his life was honesty. 

“i’m not very good with slow but i’m sure you’re probably right,” he laughs more at himself than anything, “i just get carried away. especially with a woman like you. how couldn’t i?” 

always the flirt. and a good one at that. he always knew exactly what to say to get you blushing, which is exactly why you hide your face bashfully in your shoulder for a few moments before you could look back at him admiring you. 

“I hope you know that this is different though, Y/n. I can’t exactly explain how, but you should know i’ve never felt this way for anyone no matter how many times i’ve tried to convince myself otherwise in the past out of...fear, shame, even guilt. it’s different. and because of that difference, i know i can’t be selfish with you.” 

for once you’re grateful for your mothers voice at the back of your head nudging you to let your heart be open, because without that voice, you would never be sitting in the grass with a man that truly does want to respect your boundaries and looks at you like you’re made of exquisite glass. you wouldn’t have memorized the soft texture of his lips as you lean in to kiss him, or the feeling of his hand cupping your cheek. you wouldn’t know the sound of his relived sigh, or the giggle that breaks the kiss only a few seconds later. and you wouldn’t have the clarity that you so desperately craved. 

if there is one thing you knew for sure it’s that he is telling the truth. his truth shows with the delicate placement of his hands, the soft caress of his thumb on your cheek, his fingers running through your hair, and all the other ways he shows his adoration for you every day that you wish to hold on to forever. you know that the waiting and slow pace will be worth it in the end and the slow burn will turn into the blazing fire that you can already tell shines in his eyes. your hesitation has nothing to do with him but a past you would explain in due time. 

for now, you’d continue kissing him on the sheet that smelt faintly of laundry detergent, in the backyard of your quaint apartment on 26th and Broadway, with his hand in your hair, lips pressed gently against yours, and a whole heart full of hope for a long future of days just like this. 

[stillness-in-green]

Thoughts on Chapter 314 (and surrounding events)

Being a loose summary of several things I thought about in relation to the leaks, what they say about the series as a whole, a bit of new operating headcanon on the Peerless Thief, and a dash of how fandom is responding to the revelations. Spoilers, obviously.

This chapter makes it quite clear that the HPSC absolutely would have gone in and eliminated the PLF quietly, lethally, and wholly unlawfully if Hawks hadn't reported back the numbers that he did. The only reason the raid involved non-Commission-affiliated heroes at all is because the PLF's manpower was simply too much for the Commission to deal with via their usual methods. I'm both appalled that the disregard for human rights in HeroAca Land is somehow even worse than I thought it was and smug that that tiny little piece I recently posted criticizing the PLF's treatment has turned out to be totally justified and supported by the canon.[1] (Note that this does not absolve Horikoshi of the responsibility to, himself, treat the PLF better than paper dolls tossed into the incinerator of Plot Irrelevance when they cease being convenient to his story.) The fact that the Commission was forced to involve heroes might mean Re-Destro, Mr. Compress and the others are somewhat safer than might otherwise be the case. Because of the involvement of the unsuspecting stooges law-abiding heroes, and because the botched raid became such a huge disaster, there’s far more public scrutiny on this than would otherwise be the case. Of course, "accidents" can still happen,[2] especially in a chaotic environment, but the factors above (combined with Clone!RD murdering the bejeezus out of the Lady Prez) do, I think, suggest that there probably isn't an organized push for quick solutions going on behind closed doors.

I don't think Nagant has been around for a terribly long time or that there was an uptick in vigilantism in recent years—I think the scene where she mentions vigilantes becoming accepted as heroes is just in reference to the early history of heroism. It's in keeping with what Tsukauchi Makoto described in Vigilantes, and forms the basis of the current system—the current system that Nagant was a single cog in a big machine grinding away to preserve.

Speaking of Nagant and the system, it's interesting to me that one of the groups Nagant apparently targeted at the HPSC's behest was corrupt heroes—those who colluded with villains or specifically goaded/incited civilians into using their quirks illegally, thus turning civilians into capital-V Villains in the eyes of the law. One might easily say that targeting corrupt heroes (albeit using a much broader definition of "corrupt") was Stain's whole shtick, but it actually puts me more in mind of the Peerless Thief, Harima Oji. Harima punished greedy or corrupt heroes with theft, and presumably with a measure of declaration and exposure,[3] then distributed their money back to the streets. Someone who ridicules those who abuse their power, and gets away with it for long enough to build a reputation: that right there is a recipe for a folk hero. The HPSC, in whatever form they existed at the time, obviously couldn't let that go on—such repeated humiliations would weaken peoples’ faith in (and obedience to) the system the HPSC was trying to build. At the same time, though, it would also weaken faith in the system to openly acknowledge that system's flaws, to acknowledge that some pretty awful people had found their way into the heroics business specifically for the power and ability to abuse it that the title of Hero afforded them. Public trials would make it a matter of record that some heroes—and, accordingly, heroes at large—did not deserve the public's unquestioning faith. Obviously in a system that was built from the ground up on faith, that was unacceptable. And so Harima was branded a supervillain for exposing the system's flaws, while the corrupt heroes who embodied those flaws to begin with were—and continue to be—quietly disposed of at the HPSC’s discretion.

There's a lot of talk around about how Lady Nagant is stupid, or hypocritical, or delusional, or whatever other dismissive adjective people want to use, because she expresses a preference for AFO's rule over the HPSC's. Firstly, I think it's dubious Lit Crit to fault a character for not being a Paragon of Rationality, especially when they're under the cascading stressors Nagant has been under since she was, what, 13? 14? Forced to live this dichotomy of smiling gallant hero and ruthless covert assassin, had her life threatened by the man who'd taken her in,[4] probably dumped in Tartarus until such time as her trial could be held,[5] and kept in those ghastly, dehumanizing conditions for who knows how long? How shocking, that her objectivity might be somewhat compromised! Secondly, it's not like she's saying that AFO's rule would be a sunny walk in the park. The kanji she uses doesn't even mean "better"; while it can mean serene or tranquil, her more likely meaning is clear/transparent. Her phrasing indicates that she's aware it would be pretty bad; she's simply of the opinion that at least his rule wouldn't be a sham, a pretty lie. It would be bad, but everyone would know it. No one would have these comforting illusions they could lose at any time; if you stepped out of line and got shot in the head by an assassin, well, at least you would probably know you that being defiant was running that risk, rather than never seeing it coming because you'd been told all your life that Heroes Didn't Do That To People. Again, this is a woman whose life was shattered no less than three times by the duplicity of the highest acting authority in this comic.[6] She doesn't have to be Objectively Correct By The Standards Of Ethical Utilitarianism—nor do you have to agree with her choice that because she doesn’t want to live in the Matrix, no one else should get to either—for her opinion to make sense from her own perspective! Thirdly, while I think it's fair to say that the HPSC and AFO actually use fairly similar methods to recruit followers and punish dissenters, we have no idea how much Nagant herself knows about AFO's recruitment tactics other than her own brief experience of it. And while AFO is a controlling and manipulative bastard, at least in his case it's coming from a man who openly styles himself as a Demon King, not an organization positioning itself as lawful regulators of the protectors of society at large while secretly training child soldiers to flagrantly violate every law protecting the human rights and due process of that society's people.

Overhaul's presence is delightful, and yes, he is a victim of Hero Society, if only because Hero Society could have put him in some kind of prison-based rehab facility after Shigaraki was through with him, but chose to dispose of him in Tartarus instead, for absolutely no justifiable cause. I suspect it's only due to Horikoshi not being very interested in the harsh realities of the trauma caused by enforced isolation[7] that Overhaul is the only Tartarus escapee that talks to himself and has dissociated from reality almost completely. Overhaul's maiming was not the fault of Hero Society, nor did Hero Society force him to torture Eri and repeatedly commit cold-blooded murder. But his madness? Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable laying that one at Hero Society's feet, actually. I can’t wait for Deku to have to face the victim that Chisaki Kai has become due to levels of systemic cruelty and negligence that really ought to be criminal—and which, if this were real life, would be.

--------Lately, footnotes are really popular with us!--------

[1] Lady Nagant: *talks about how the Hero Society everyone believes in is illusory, a thin fake over a brutal reality, and that returning to the false simplicity of that status quo will only cause history to repeat itself* Me, two weeks ago: Hero Society will never stop creating its own villains so long as, every time it fails people, it does nothing but shrug and write off the victims as unavoidable, inevitable sacrifices for the greater good.

[2] Yes, I'm still highly suspicious of the "Destro committed suicide in prison" claim.

[3] Compress tells us Harima “preached reformation,” but regardless, you don’t dress up in a modified kabuki costume and waltz midair through nighttime cityscapes raining cash out of the sky if you’re trying to keep your activities a secret.

[4] And her family situation couldn't have been much better than Hawks', if she was targeted by the HPSC to begin with. I would guess she was an orphan in the childcare system, easy to move from whatever alternative care arrangement she was in, be it an orphanage, a group home, or simply mature enough despite her relative youth that she lived alone on government support payments—that kind of thing isn't as unbelievable in Japan as it is in the U.S.—to the HPSC's care.

[5] And given what we learned between this chapter and 297, I doubt she was even allowed to be present for it. Japanese law states that everyone by default is supposed to be present for their own trial, but as in the U.S, that right can be waived if the defendant proves themselves to be a threat to the safety of the judge, court staff and other attendees. And of course, what a threat the HPSC could have painted her as being!

[6] At least until Hori deigns to show us a damn Diet session.

[7] To say nothing of the physical consequences of spending six months stuck in a tiny room with no natural light while frequently being strapped into a straitjacket, of which there should also be several.

[magpie-of-a-birb]

@paint-the-ravenclaw tagged me in on sorting Sanders Sides characters (that post is here), and I decided to make a whole new post for it. Here we go-

Editor Magpie here! It's a good thing that I made this a post of its own, cuz boy is it long. Patton's section took up three pages hand-written, if that tells you anything.

(Also, beware spoilers. If you're not up-to-date, I may reference things you haven't seen yet)

Patton

I'm starting off with Patton because, quite frankly, what he's got going on is fascinating. Sad, but fascinating.

He's a very obvious badger primary, but he also has a badger performance layered over top of it. If you've seen The Good Place, or listened to the @sortinghatchats podcast episode where they sorted TGP characters, you'll be able to see that this is the same as what Tahani did.

Patton's primary is for his community, but he also has an idea of what his primary should be. Not "should" as in aspirational, but "should" as in expectation. So he makes a badger primary performance, something that says "look at me! I'm a good person!" but creates self-loathing because he believes that he isn't living up to that performance. And here's the kicker:

His performance is exploding.

He thinks that, to be a good person, he (and Thomas, by extention) has to sacrifice everything for others. That is the badger primary performance that he thinks he should be.

Disclaimer: this is an unhealthy example of badger primary. No house is inherently healthy or unhealthy. There are many healthy, thriving badger primaries, and they are beautiful, just as every other house is.

And his exploding primary put a lot of strain on his badger secondary (he's a caretaker and loves courtier badger). He has to work hard and show up for everyone all the time and he... can't. It's not possible.

The fact that he cannot humanly live up to his own expectations makes his secondary start to burn. You especially see that in the courtier aspect of his secondary. He feels like he should be the "optimistic, goofy dad-friend" and he loves using courtier badger for it. But he burns out from being there for everyone, that face becomes unreliable in courtier badger because he can't feel it all the way down, he's not happy. So his badger starts to burn, and what does he do?

He takes up an actor bird model to handle the strain. He's used to the "happy, goofy dad" mask that it's easy for him to shift it from courtier mirroring to an actor role.

And whew boy, is that actor bird obvious in Selfishness vs Selflessness Redux. When it's clear that the others aren't siding with him, Patton isn't able to shift to match the change to make a stronger argument - as a snake or mirroring badger could - so he doubles down on his role.

"Remember, guys, I'm morality. My role is to make correct moral choices. Look! This is my good and helpful mask! I'm good and helpful!"

He does that all the way until he's sure that it's a lost cause, and that's when he snaps. But his snapping isn't drawing what he knows of the others, it's not using things that he knows will hurt them, not as we expect him to (especially since he uses similar tactics to manipulate Thomas into doing the right thing).

He transforms. Because he can't be angry. He's not allowed to be angry. Being angry is wrong. If he's angry, according to his exploding primary performance, then he's not a good person.

So he transforms. Because he can only be angry if he isn't himself. Patton chooses not to be Patton. He chooses to be a monster. Instead of translating his thoughts to fit the role (like with his dad role) he's using the role to justify the feelings.

Another disclaimer: like with primaries, no secondary is inherently healthy or unhealthy. There's even an example of healthy actor bird later in this sorting.

Logan

First off, his bird secondary is obvious. He loves collecting and using things. He loves lists and plans. His insecurity stems from his tools not being enough. He is a bird.

His primary is a bit more difficult because he doesn't usually make decisions from a moral standpoint, that's not his job. It's clear that he's not a felt primary, and due to the lack of intensity in general, I think snake can be ruled out. So, bird primary.

Virgil

His system is very lion primary. His gut says that something is wrong and he acts immediately.

His tactics are very bird secondary, preferring to construct a reasonable argument about why Thomas should be anxious over forcefully shoving panic at Thomas (which he does do when he sees the situation as an emergency and he needs Thomas to stop/do something now, but it's not his preference).

On top of that, Virgil has a birdy mask up at the beginning of the series. It's one born out of duty (lion primary), so he embodies the role that he's expected to play as anxiety (a bad guy who's goal is to make Thomas scared) instead of being himself (someone who's trying to keep Thomas safe). So he plays the role until he's shown that he doesn't have to.

Also, look at how he acts in the debate between him and Logan. All of his snap-back retorts are of the same type: general, playground insults. They're predictable and formulaic, like a default response a bird may have when they don't know how to respond while in a given mask. Basically: he's falling back on pre-set common phrases that the character he is embodying would say when he's not "translating" his thoughts into those of his character fast enough.

On a side note, I think that's how you differentiate between actor bird from the other forms of masks: playing a role with a tangible name.

Anyways-

Roman

LION BIRD LION BIRD LION BIRD

He hoards music, plays, movies, and musicals like a corvid and references them like nobody's business. His quick wit is in wordplay ("panic at the everywhere" much?) which, while not indicative of a bird secondary, is bird-flavored icing on the cake.

He lives in actor bird, and while his role isn't always applicable, I think that Roman is an easily-visable example of healthy actor bird. He loves and takes pride in his roles and doesn't solely use them as a shield (like Patton and, to a lesser extent, early Virgil).

He's a bit of a glory hound, he's attracted to the glamor that being a well-known creative and a hero entails, and that feeds into his default Hero/Prince in Shining Armor role. But it's wrong for him to pursue that at the expense of those he loves being miserable (see: Selfishness vs Selflessness).

Remus

Remus shares his primary with his brother. However, he's a horizon/fey lion. Everything that is fun is good which, when combined with his loves-to-mess-with-people snake secondary, spells pain for everyone else in a garish neon-green sign that smells vaguely of a landfill and intentionally leaves glitter everywhere.

Janus

Janus is a double snake. His person is Thomas, and anything is okay (especially deception) if it's to protect him.

Bonus sort: Thomas

Thomas is an interesting character. Because he is a character, within the context of Sanders Sides, that is. Sanders Sides!Thomas is not the same as Real Life!Thomas, even if the former is heavily inspired by the latter. As such, I think that there's enough to sort Character!Thomas.

Character!Thomas is very much a badger primary. It makes sense that he'd match primaries with Patton, his morality, but more so, the entire premise of the show has heavy healthy badger messages. Most episodes are about choosing the right thing to do, and Thomas makes that decision depending on what his community (the Sides) think. He's clearly a felt primary, but if he were a lion, then the "get input from others" aspect of the show would not be as effective.

His secondary is less obvious, but I have to go with bird. Most of the Sides have bird secondaries, and as they're aspects of Thomas, that would logically reflect his secondary to some degree. And he has many of the same hoards as the others, joyfully drawing on and pointing out references to things.

There may possibly be a badger (particularly courtier badger) model in there, but I can't confidently say that it's the case.

In Conclusion:

Patton: badger primary with an exploded badger primary performance. Semi-burned badger secondary with an unhealthy bird secondary model (specifically actor bird)

Logan: double bird

Virgil: lion bird

Roman: lion (glory hound variant) bird

Remus: lion (fey/horizon variant) snake

Janus: double snake

Thomas: badger bird with a possible badger secondary model

[13eyond13]

I'll try to keep it short because you're very kind but I'm becoming annoying... I actually like Soichiro. It's his morals I cannot stand. In fact, in line with his, I like Matsuda's and even Light's variations more, even with all the darkness they entail, because they're more critical. I adore L and find him relatable, but I'm not so sure if I'd like him as a person in real life, and yet I again like his morals more than Soichiro's. I still think Soichiro is generally a better person than any of the others. I still dislike his morals the most. When I say at the opposite end of Soichiro in the moral spectrum is where Near stands I'm not talking just about my personal liking, but as I interpret their views on morality. Maybe there's some detail of the manga I'm forgetting (I truly have to reread it), but Soichiro didn't seem very critical about... anything, while Near states something like "even if god came and told me this is good and this is bad and this is The Truth I'd still consider and come to my own conclusion". I like that. I care less about someone getting a moral with what I may consider a degree of grey if they do that. I myself have very strong morals that nonetheless have degrees of grey; strong doesn't mean pure. My grey and someone else's grey might be very different. But I've developed them, not accepted them blindly. Near of course, Mello, L, and even Light and Matsuda do this, but Soichiro generally doesn't. And I dislike that greatly. In fact, I think I'd find him kind in real life, and likeable, but I'd not really like him because I can't really bring myself to like someone like that even when they're kind and compassionate and good. I'm already talking more than I intended but I'll try to point out what bothers me of his attitude.

Soichiro is very very anti Kira, but he's working for a government with the death penalty and he doesn't seem to consider that even for a moment. For him, that the government does it is justifiable but monstrous if a person does it. He doesn't really have a justification, it's just like that because it's as it is. He's very against L's methods, buy L uses people who were going to die anyway at the very moment he uses them either way because of the death penalty, because of the government. From a government pov, if the government were to do what L does, it'd be something terrible. From an individual pov? Not so much. It's ugly, but it's beyond himself whether that people die or not, and his decisions are easily justifiable from an individual pov: they're going to die irrevocably, that very day at that very time, and he is using what he can to solve a very complicated case that is taking many lives, and he even might use the moral support of "I'm giving the prisoners the chance of choosing, with the potential reward of lifelong imprisonment instead of death". And again, while a government doing that is terrible, it's not as terrible for a person. L is a private detective, an individual. People can be fallible. Governments shouldn't. What L does might be justifiable, if ugly, for a person, but it would be unforgivable for the government to do. But the government lies on L and it's L who takes the slander of the rest of the Task Force. And that's what Soichiro doesn't see, and that's what bugs me. Soichiro sides with the government and the laws no matter what, no matter if they're terrible and are actually the cause if indirectly of the terrible things L is able to do (I'd have to reread to be completely comfortable affirming this, but Soichiro's attitude towards the government reminds me a bit of Mikami and Misa to some extent).

Soichiro hates Kira, and hates and criticises L's methods and his ruthlessness, but doesn't even consider for one moment the problem is not L. The problem is not the 24 yo boy/man, the problem is his government, that has the dead penalty and actually let's a private detective carry on with the investigation and do as he pleases (and I'm not even taking into consideration how L's upbringing and the lowkey if fun exploitation he was subrmited to have most probably influenced if not determined the way he acts in these cases, because while it's intriguing it'd feel like justifying L out of pity, and either way Soichiro doesn't know that; but I mention this because L's entire past at Wammy's, like the other children's, is another very terrible move from governments and adults in responsibility positions). The problem is Interpol, the governments in general, blatantly saying L is ruthless but not even setting rules when working with him. And I think it would actually have been very easy to stop L doing those things. Just change the rules of the game, tell him beforehand there are a few things he can't do. It's a game after all. Of course L would still exploit the moral and legal vacuums of the rules as he pleased, as one does when playing anything, but the government wouldn't have given him totally free way.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself very well. Years ago in a class I talked about the difference between personal vengeance and the death penalty. I feel this is similar. A person is fallible. A government should be able to stand over licit murder. L manipulating people to prove a point is ugly. A government doing that or letting someone free way to do whatever is terrible. L does whatever, and as an individual is not so horrible as it is that the governments internationally actually let him do whatever even knowing beforehand without setting rules. Soichiro sees this and it doesn't even cross his mind for a moment to criticise the government he's working with. Also, he considers his morals the best, which makes sense in a first person pov (why support x morals if you don't think they're the best? I'm not critisising this), but he's very... imposing about them, while as I say not being precisely the most critical thinker. That Soichiro is like this, morally (I'm not even talking about the policeman aspect though that's so often talked about in the fandom), makes a lot of sense to how Light ends up being Kira, and with how Matsuda thinks and acts. And I find that very intriguing, but I can't stand Soichiro's simplistic morals and his better-than-you attitude even though he's a generally good person. That's why I dislike his morals the most (of course you don't have to agree!). I don't stand by Near's morals either, but I like his "god could come and tell me and still I'd doubt" attitude. It's what makes gods mad in basically every mythology, but I love that kind of thought process. I'm very much like that too.

I'm so sorry this is so long. I tried to cut, but I got the impression it'd make it even less clear or more difficult to understand. Or maybe the lack of clarity lies precisely on how repetitive and long this is. I'd like to think English not being my first language has to do with this, but honestly the problem is most probably just me. I hope I made the point understandable enough, though. And thanks for your patience. I really liked that post of Near someone sent as an opinion and how you replied! Very interesting takes on both ends.

Hi again! You have some very thought-provoking points about it all, and don't worry, your English is excellent.

I loved Near's stance about these things as well, and that's something that really bothered me when growing up about some authority figures and institutions being really totalitarian and silencing of doubts or stances they deemed too negative or incorrect to voice aloud. I value having freedom of choice and the ability to think critically about everything immensely. Maybe it's because I went to a very strict and sheltering and weird little school as a child that tried very hard to indoctrinate me with a specific worldview, and always shamed and silenced anyone who disagreed or questioned them or felt like an outsider or wanted to have a different point of view. I remember relating the most to Matsuda on the task force when I first watched the show as a teen, because he was always speaking up with his devil's advocate questions or confusions. The way Soichiro and the others usually yell and scold and shame him for this bothered me a lot, because I wanted them to discuss things openly so I could see all the different sides of the arguments more clearly. Actually, I think this is a pretty culturally similar thing between Japan and Canada (where I am from). There's a strong emphasis on doing what's best for the entire group instead of just yourself, and being too controversial or outspoken or individualistic about certain things is often taboo and frowned upon as a big social faux pas. It's possibly quite a bit stronger pressure toward obedience and conformity and politeness in Japan in certain ways as well, but I don't know for sure as I haven't lived there myself.

I think Soichiro had a bit of nuance and flexibility with his morals and his stances in various instances throughout the plot, and to me he seemingly tries hard to see things from other angles during complicated moments in what must be one of the most difficult situations he could possibly face as both a police chief and a parent. But it's true he never seemed to doubt that upholding the laws already in place and the way his government punishes the convicted were the "correct" ways society should function. I think this series would be a really interesting one to discuss in a class that talks about stuff like justice and the death penalty and law and ethics and such for how many of these things it touches on in an entertaining and thought-provoking way!