#and how being called a lesbian makes me uncomfortable but being considered a lesbian brings my gf such joy

[asordidbarwere]

first valentine's day in a long time that I have someone worth doting on and I'm wasting it feeling like shit about myself and my identity and everything else

[joculatrixster]

I respect that you have concerns about possible homophobia behind criticism of Scott, but your post about it used some inaccurate information.

Grian cheating is actually a recurring plot point in many desert duo fanfics. It isn't ignored. The difference is that when discussing the CCs, Grian's cheating was actually a result of wanting to switch up his content (Double Life happened after a post on the Hermitcraft subreddit where Grian was criticized for always grouping up with Scar and Mumbo), while behavior towards Jimmy often doesn't have as clear of an OOC reason for it.

Furthermore, Scott isn't the only one who gets flack for how he treats Jimmy - to use a recent example, people had major issues with Sausage's behavior towards Jimmy in Minecraft SOS. To use an older example, Jimmy had to reassure chat in one of his Raft streams that he was okay with how Grian, Joel, and fWhip (all married to women) were treating him, and even repeated that reassurance when he cut it down into a shorter video.

It's also important to note that Scott isn't the only LGBTQ content creator in the MCYT sphere. Joey Graceffa is gay; Lizzie, Gem, and Cleo are bi; Shubble is ace. You also make assumptions in your post that Pearl is straight, which we don't know for sure, as she's private about her personal life. While she has a boyfriend (at least I'm pretty sure he's a boyfriend), she often refers to him as a roommate instead of a boyfriend, and she could very well be bi/pan or ace. We don't know, and assuming people are straight as default can cause issues.

i kkmow scott isnt the only queer one brother ive been into mcyt since i was 10 i dont need u to explain to me who is and isnt queer im an og lizzie fan😭

firslty man saying that grian thing is. stupid. im sorry. no, saying there is a reason grajn as the person didnt wanna group up w scar so his character cheating makes sense yet scott who explained why he didnt wanna team up w pearl and instead went w cleo but u claim there was no real reason to do that even tho rp reasons is just as fine of a reason is just. strange. ike even if scott did it just bc he wanted to for no other reason than teasing jimmy that doesnt justifiy making him out to be an abuser or making posts anaylizing how he makes jimmy uncomfortable/is weird to jimmy specifically which ive Seen Multiple. scott and jimmy have always had a bit of a rivalryand its just fucking weisd ppl make out scotts teasing as inherently toxic yet say nothing about grian or joels teasing

also ive never seen grian vilinized or made scars abuser if this is a common hc its not one ive seen, just unpacking the cheating is not the same thing as making grian scars abuser or making him clearly seen as negative all portrayls Ive Personally seen paint grian in a sympathetic light and the fandom as a whole does that in general w bad actions grian does. pretending its of a similar caliber is just strange considering how blorbofied grian is and how ppl r convinced scott is literally maliciouly trying to hurt jimmy In Real Life like dude be so fucking fr rn

ill admit i dont watch sos nor raft streams but im calling out ppl who r calling scott specifically abusive and ive literally never seen anyone as vilinized as scott in fics i can think off the top of my head 3 fics ive seen where scott is the vilian and portrayed as jimmys abuser which is NOT true for anyone u mentioned. if u havent seen this i understand u might think jimmy expressing boundaries about his friends is the same thing which is a valid point to bring up but im specifically pointing out how it is normalized tto have scott specifically be an abuser or cruel villian which is NOT the same as fans expressing concern over if some ppl r going too far w the bit. thats fine genuinely

ur right i did assume about pearl i shouldn't have i dont rlly watch her thats also on me but also doesn't take away the point i was saying. literally her being bi aroace or even a lesbian does not take away the point i made about reducing her character to the violent female hysteria but also tragic victim of scott. as an agender aroace lesbain...buddy i know straight aint the default. when i talk about misogyny and homophobia the point is the misogyny and homophobia. im sorry i called someone who hasnt come out at all yet straight i dont assume someone is queer until proven otherwise bc thats just weird to assume. i just literally never saw pearl included in queer mcyt creator talks ever but assuming she isnt straight doesnt change literally anything about the mysongy or weird homophobua that only scott is portrayed in a negative light for actions he does in double life

[immortalspacelesbian]

can i ask what happened on twitter? i'm sorry BG3 twit is so insane but there are a lot of active folks here on tumblr that are much nicer imo. hope you can find a new place here and we stan all minthara lovers. queen shit. 🙏❤️

i’d say “long story short” but there’s 0 ways i can make this short there’s just SO much 😭

basically those datamined lines with halsin and minthara were found, where halsin refuses to work with minthara and makes tav choose between them even though minthara is begging for shelter from the absolute, and minthara lovers were like ‘ew wtf halsin fuck him she’s a victim of the absolute.’

we were in our own corner on our own tweets with our mututls ranting about these lines, and some halsin fans decided to come onto our tweets and talk about how they want minthara dead dead and the ways they’d kill her and stuff like that. which, to be honest, is completely unwarranted and a dick move. they were told to basically fuck off and that’s where shit hit the fan.

i won’t name names, but someone made a thread about how halsin wasn’t in the wrong at all because minthara was his abuser (which she wasn’t, she did nothing to him, it was the goblins, and she hardly knows who he is.) i think some people corrected them but i can’t remember? anyway, we made our own tweets like “minthara isn’t halsin’s abuser btw.”

person who made that thread proceeded to say that people who dislike halsin are queerphobic…

some of us tweeted about not throwing around words like abuse, abuser, and queerphobia and to not water them down. i made my own tweet too.

and then they said that we think ‘lesbians are the only “good” members of the community’ and that ‘supporting gay, bi, or trans members is oppressing lesbians.’ which is incredibly thoughtless and stupid of them to say considering queer history and how many lesbians are trans, considering how many of my minthara mutuals on twitter fall under the trans umbrella.

the lesbophobia got called out, rightfully.

i then said that i’m uncomfortable with the way halsin’s va interacts with the nsfw stuff in the fandom and it kinda gives me the creeps. yknow, on my own tweet, on my own account, not a single halsin account in sight. and since i’m a lesbian (and my personal history) it seems pretty normal to me to be uncomfortable with men being all nsfw like that’s not my scene thx. anyway, their little group found it and said i was targeting his ga and bring him into the drama (which i really wasn’t i was expressing personal feelings on my own account but aight.)

cue the ‘supporting halsin is anti-lesbian.’ and ‘if you like halsin you’re being “creepy” because all male sexuality is creepy to them, and halsin’s va, dave, supporting halsin’s sexuality obviously pisses them off.’ which is a wild thing to say. we never brought dave into it, it was them that did that. my tweet had nothing to do with the drama they kept making go on by not shutting up about it. by this point minthara lovers were back to normal tweeting and only reacting to whatever of those drama tweets showed up on the timeline.

oh! and here comes the inevitable: we all got called terfs. most of us fall somewhere under the trans umbrella. i’m agender myself. but we’re terfs to that person apparently. lesbians always get called terfs, no matter what.

i’m sure there’s more insane shit they’ve said in private.

all of that just because we got pissy at halsin sending minthara to a fate worse than death when none of what she did in act 1 was of her own free will.

[faradaykay]

i do understand how tenko isn’t considered the most poorly handled danganronpa character (and i can also acknowledge she just straight up objectively isn’t if i set my bias aside) but i do wish there was more of a discussion around the stereotypes her character perpetuates and how that is harmful bc it feels kinda swept under the rug

bc to be completely honest, during my first v3 playthrough, tenko kinda made me uncomfortable and i didn’t really like her by the end of her time in the game. it wasn’t until i started reflecting on the game more weeks after playing when kaede became my favorite character. tenkaede kind of gave me a way to re-characterize tenko in a way that keeps what is genuinely really great about her but gets rid of the things that just make me feel like my sexuality is being mocked. however, i still can’t replay canon content; i remember paying extra money for danganronpa s to get her right away just for almost all of her interactions to be super disgusting (esp the one with chihiro that i got physically nauseous from playing), her ftes are poorly written and full of even more stereotypes than her original character and give people a way to act like her lesbian-coding is just trauma as if being sapphic is a trauma response, and i just. hate all of it.

and i know i bring this up a lot, but the way a lot of people talk about tenko really is problematic. i’ve seen people use her character as an excuse to be lesbophobic way too many times (from little microaggressions to cishet people literally calling her a dyke in a derogatory way to people talking about how they want to commit various acts of violence towards her, you name it and i’ve seen it all somewhere). and i think a lot of the existing discourse around her is tiring and just completely missing the point (whether she’s straight or bi, whether she’s a terf or not, stuff like that)

sorry i get so angsty about this, it’s just bc tenko is really really really special to me but participating in this fandom when it comes to her just. really sucks sometimes, thank you for listening okkkk i’ll stop complaining now

[tqila-sunset]

It's true enough that if one doesn't believe animus towards cis men exists, which is far from the worst crime in the world even if I think it's at least more complicated than it does or it doesn't, there's no androphobia to intersect with transphobia. The two words simply aren't the same, though; it's "andro" (man) and "transandro" (trans man). Of course, that would mean transmisogyny an intersection of two issues while transandrophobia it's own thing, but I think it's flatly undeniable that trans men put up with a ton of really sickening treatment for being trans men, specifically. A prevalent issue with TERFs going back to the foundations of radical feminism is many of them hating even cis butch lesbians for being too "masculine" (I describe myself as masculine but I know it's not a label every woman uses for herself) and they feel that about trans men by an order of magnitude nearly across the board. The only real exception are a rare minority that the others mock for calling it "AMAB supremacy" instead of "patriarchy". Even supposedly trans friendly spaces will often actively push out trans men because someone having a beard makes everyone else uncomfortable, at /least / equal to the rate trans fems are ostracized. Even trans women get shit if they aren't maximumly feminine. In regards to trans men specifically, there is absolutely one hundred percent discrimination and abuse towards men for being men. And if that implies androphobia exists, like, that is nothing, that doesn't really matter, MRAs also hate trans men with a burning passion, so even if you don't believe transphobes don't see us as our gender there's no world where they link up. But I'm very passionate about that issue specifically. The primary problem with "they don't treat men that way" is that TERFs didn't come from nowhere. They are and always have been radfems, and while they always opposed trans people (including AFAB trans people, because a lot of people buy the propaganda TERFs are just concerned for them), it was not their one single obsession the way it now is. I swear I'm not trying to be insulting, but I don't understand how anyone who knows about radfem history can take this tack. Yes, it was, I believe, trans-friendly radfems who coined the term "TERF" to distance themselves, but they were a tiny minority that's only blown up (even if most refuse to call themselves radfems now) because trans people are becoming more and more mainstream. That's the same reason TERFs are now so brainwormed with trans people they team up with anti-Choice activists, but we were not their Roman Empire until the 2010s. It's even more clear when one considers that trans women have infinitely less power than cis men. A large chunk of the reason they got brainwormed is that trans women are easy targets. They can direct their hatred of men at trans women because punching through dry wall is easier than punching through brick. That they wouldn't treat cis men exactly like this is right, even if they're now more willing to be friends with them, but that's because they largely can't. For like half a century they've been dreaming of a day they can punish people they consider men and bring them, as a class, misery, but it has just not been within their ability to do so. It's partially that reason that a lot of transradfems are so vile to non-transfems as well; it's not AMAB supremacy or whatever, they're just either bullies, people toxically coping with their oppression, or both. And that, too, is something that is something I've seen with my own eyes, I as a trans woman am not making up a baeddel conspiracy, that does happen quite a lot. I'm sincerely happy you've not experienced those things, but literally every day I get literally dozens of asks from non-transfem trans people sharing their stories of being erased and put through the wringer in those ways.

i assume this is also an old ask. not many people attempt to interact w/ me so i don't have reason to check my messages regularly.

if I'm in a back-n-forth w/ someone I'll probably stay online until you stop responding but once that happens i may not check back in until a while later.

as it is i have a hard time keeping track of what someone is specifically responding to if none of my arguments or beliefs are being referenced. bc these asks aren't attached to any specific post or date.

[lovaryism]

Persistently Fem is not a radfem or terf. If you look through her work, it's quite obvious.

I'm not going to cancel someone based on hearsay and a situation clearly taken out of context. Her writing brings lesbian butch/femme culture to life. What she's written is important to me.

In her own words:

I don't think she says anything wrong here. Considering the butchphobia I've seen in the lesbian community, such as women saying "if I wanted to date a man I would date a real one," or that "butches may as well transition because they want to be men so badly," or even constantly asking them how they identify and if theyre transitioning when they would never ask a feminine woman these questions.

She has a point. It's not terfy to point out how society and even the lesbian community has historically been terrible towards masculine women and want them to transition to men so they can conform. So they can stop making people so uncomfortable by being visibly gender nonconforming. This is something multiple older butches in my life have expressed concerns about. The lack of representation of proud butch women and female masculinity, leading young butches to not see a future for themselves outside of transitioning to male.

Anyways, I love butches and I love femmes, and I love any lesbian willing to give voice to her views, even the more controversial ones that get you piled on and called mean names.

From Persistently Fem on wordpress

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch,

I'm a trans dude, who just hit their second year on T. As long as I've been aware I had genitals and what they were for, I've had issues with my vaginal opening (A gynecologist told me my hymen is unusually thick and inelastic, with an unusually small opening, she postulated I wouldn't be able to naturally accommodate anything wider than a centimeter in diameter, not that i ever really tried because that area is also incredibly pain sensitive and attempting to insert anything has always really really hurt). I've never been interested in penetrative sex and my gynecologist told me that since I wasn't sexually active getting pap smears wouldn't be super necessary. However, now that I've transitioned and am more comfortable with my body, I'm more interested in basically sleeping around; while I still don't plan on being penetrated I'm still aware if I want to do that I'll need to get tested regularly and am afraid my pre-existing vaginal condition, in conjunction with any atrophy that may have occurred over the past 2 years, will make this more difficult/painful. do you have any advice for seeking sexual healthcare that will mitigate discomfort without sacrificing too much accuracy?

hi anon,

first off I want to offer you a Better Sexual Health gold star for thinking ahead on this! considering health concerns in advance and planning accordingly is a great way to demystify the process of caring for your body and exert agency over your healthcare!

now, on to the nitty gritty:

it might comfort you to know that many STI tests don't require medical penetration, but rather rely on external examination, blood tests, cheek swabs specifically for HIV testing, and my personal favorite: peeing in a cup. when you go in to get tested make sure to talk to your nurses about what kind of sexual behaviors you've actually been practicing; it can go a long way towards narrowing down what type of testing is necessary for you and could rule an internal exam right out

now, if it does come to the point where you have to have an internal exam or swab done, you have my utmost sympathies - I also have a bad time with vaginal penetration, and I can't say pap smears have ever been fun for me. however, the swell news is that it does tend to be over Pretty Fucking Fast, and having a conversation with your examiner ahead of time about what the experience will be like for you can help a lot. I always let the folks doing my exams know up front that penetration is uncomfortable for me, that I'd prefer the smallest possible speculum and as much lube as they can reasonably use, and that I may need to pause in the process. the last time I got a smear (earlier this year, what's up) I literally asked the examiner if she could pull out and give me a moment to steady up and recombobulate myself, and it was an absolute non-issue - she put the exam on pause no questions asked, and even complimented me on my breathing.

(cute planned parenthood lesbian doctor with the purple hair - if you are reading this I am single.)

it can also help A LOT for the person performing the exam to understand your discomfort and help talk you through it; while it doesn't decrease the physical pain, it does wonders for my anxiety to have someone letting me know exactly what they're doing and how many more seconds I can expect it to last.

for additional support, some locations may even let you bring an emotional support person back for your exam with you - call ahead and check! - and in really drastic cases, some doctors may be open to the idea of tranquilizing patients for an exam or performing some exams via ultrasound rather than with manual penetration.

in short - the best way to find minimally painful care is to talk to your provider about what that will look like for you.

[balkanradfem]

So I've been making a lot of chestnut deliveries this year, and I ended up having some fun, and some less than pleasant experiences. I'll start with a fun one.

I was to deliver chestnuts to this woman's flat directly; we organized over a phone call, and I was there at the designated time, 3pm. I stopped my bike in front of her building, and called her number. She didn't respond. I looked around for a bit, called again, then waited for 10 minutes, called again, nothing. I was a bit annoyed, so I called the plant lady, who had delivered chestnuts to this particular woman before, and had a facebook conversation with her. I told the plant lady my situation, and asked her for the last name of the woman, so I could press the button on her intercom, and ring her apartment directly. The plant lady found it in record time (20 seconds) and there I was, pressing the button on the building, about to have a fun experience.

'What?' The woman responded almost immediately.

'Hi, I've brought you chestnuts, and I've been calling your phone, but you didn't reply.' I explained my business.

'Oh! And where are you now?'

'… I'm in front of the building.'

'Oh I'll be there in 5 minutes!'

'Okay, I'll wait 5 more minutes for you.'

She ran out of the building in 2 minutes, wearing a trench coat, explaining erratically:

'I fell asleep! I don't know how it could have happened! My phone was away! I'm sorry!'

'Oh! Did I wake you up?'

'YES!!!'

I then realized that she must have been shaken out of her sleep so abruptly, she forgot that we were talking over the intercom, and not the phone, so she genuinely couldn't figure out where I was! I went home laughing to myself about it, the sheer amusement of it all completely made up for the wait.

That was the funniest delivery I had, now, there's been a few of them that unfortunately, I had to deliver to males, and most of them went just fine, with 3 second interaction and goods exchange, and a relieved 'goodbye'. However, some of them were… not as great. I've noticed, with great displeasure, that some of those m*n figured out since I'm a woman, they could ogle me, and I did not appreciate that at all. Few of them stared at me and started saying unrelated things and I could not wait to get away from their gaze, I know what their ogling means! "You're not too ugly to be manipulated into being my house servant/bed toy/replacement mommy". And the reasons why I'm suddenly not too ugly is because my poverty has made me thin and weak looking, that alone is what elevates me to the status of 'worthy of ogling' in their eyes. I detest it. I'm hyper aware that any other version of me, more heavy, more aged, or even older-looking, would immediately put me into the box of 'irredeemable ugly creature' and I wish to stay in that box for them, thank you. They're all in my 'predator' box anyway. They don't even consider that maybe I'm a lesbian, completely disinterested in being stared at by males.

Where are all of the lesbians ogling me, who would be happy with my heavier, older and grumpier version? I would not mind that.

Okay so the absolute worst customer was a repeat one, and I've decided, to not deliver chestnuts to that particular guy again. First time delivering to him I went with a friend, and it was done within a minute, in broad daylight, in a store parking lot. I asked if he was there for chestnuts, he said yes, and immediately launched into 'Why didn't you tell me where you are, you shouldn't have carried all these, I would have come to you!' and I disliked this greatly, but I just said 'It's fine, it's safer that way.', exchanged the goods, and ran to my friend.

The second time he ordered (and it's heavier orders from him, always), he told me he was arriving by train, and I was to bring it to the train station. Late evening. I felt uncomfortable, but I figured, since I already delivered to him once and got away fine, this should go okay too. And if he asks me where I live again, I'm going to call it out and tell him off.

He did, in fact, ask me where I live again. This time more aggressively. I had my reply prepared: 'Sir, you cannot expect a woman to give her home address to a stranger.' and it did not make him give up. He was insisting that I'm barely able to carry 5kg on my own (I was with a bike), then he said I'm looking like I'm struggling pushing the bike (I was standing still). Then he started saying how he knows where the plant lady lives, and he works with her husband, and asked me if I'm something to them, to which I replied it didn't matter, because he's a stranger to me. Then, he said 'Let me tell you something about myself', and I knew, he was about to start a fucking speech, a monologue, on this empty parking lot in front of a train station, at night, while I'm feeling increasingly pissed and wary. I said 'I have to go.' and it did absolutely nothing to deter him.

'I'm no liar, I'm telling you the truth' he said, suspiciously, and I'm already thinking that a truth-teller never has to convince a stranger that he's telling the truth. Then he launched into a story about how he does fruit tree grafting for a living, and that he is begging me to bring him a single branch of the chestnut tree, or bring him with me to the forest so he can see the trees. I start explaining how old and tall these trees are, and they're all mixed, the big chestnuts fall together with the small, and I cannot in all certainty know if I've brought a correct branch to him. I forgot for a second how inappropriate and insane this request was, I'm not running a service of bringing people branches for grafting! I ended up saying 'I don't know I'll ask the plant lady.' and I escaped out of there there, upset.

I've talked to the plant lady about this later, and she had no clue who this m*n even was, she suspected her husband knew him, and he knew her address this way. She told him that it was okay to redirect the guy to her, if he ever bothered me again, and then she would ditch him away from our chestnut business. So thankfully, that was the last time I saw him. He was insanely creepy, looked like he was in his 50s, and I look like I'm in my 20s so it was extra awful. (I'm 32, my face just refuses to cooperate and get wrinkled as it should, so I get zero respect from the world for my wisdom and grace.)

[weaver-z]

I think a lot of the hostility in the discourse surrounding The Q-Slur™ is bc of the conflation between social spaces and political movements

for instance, I initially had a bad reaction to your take on the issue (although I took some time to think about it bc I'm not an animal tyvm) bc I value The Q-Slur™ as effective political rhetoric--a rejection of respectability politics, inclusive to everyone in a way that an unwieldy acronym can't be, simple and concise, etc.

however, I would never call someone The Q-Slur™ if they didn't want to be called that, bc that's rude? like really fucking rude? I'm even avoiding saying it here bc I don't want to stir shit for no good reason

there's a very big difference between how a movement should behave and how a social group should behave. a social group is made up of individuals with individual histories and feelings, but an effective movement can't be made up of individuals; it can only be statistics and icons, because it has to cover as many people as possible

imo, both things are true: it's not okay to demand people use it for themselves, and it's not okay to demand activists stop using it. the pain that The Q-Slur™ brings that makes it so inappropriate for so many social spaces is the exact reason why it's such a good political tool: it's confrontational and unyielding. it makes it clear (1) what we are, (2) what we want, and (3) what we will not concede ("our otherness is based actually" in a single-syllable word!) without making anything softer or cleaner

here's an example of how I personally approach stuff like this: I don't like the lesbian flag all that much (specifically the more-orange one made to replace the lipstick lesbian flag). I think it could be a lot more rooted in lesbian history/symbols instead of just being a pretty collection of colors that looks nice next to the other flags. but, no matter my personal feelings, I would never try to get people to replace it, bc dear lord we need some flag to unite under

(that obviously isn't the same exact situation, I just like allegories)

the Pride+ thing actually felt like a really good compromise to me. as it's a blog on an already p pro-LGBT website, it's a mix of both interpersonal connection and online activism, and wanting it to be as comfy for as many people as possible is entirely valid! go staff go!!

ig my main point in a nutshell is that it's v important to have manners in the vast majority of situations, with one of the main exceptions being when you're fighting for human rights. yeah I think that's it

anyway, I need to log off for a while. go lay down in a field and feel the rain soaking through my clothing. cleanse myself of the internet brainworms. remember that I'm human. hope you have a good one!

Thanks! This is probably the last ask I'll answer about this issue, because for a bunch of people claiming to be super trans-positive and inclusive, some of the people in my inbox really want me to play in traffic.

I also think that the political origins of the reclamation of "queer" are a good point to bring up. "We're here, we're queer" was deliberately chosen because it was a startling, incendiary declaration in the 70s and 80s. And it still is! It's a great rallying cry and wake-up call.

That being said, in a more personal space, yeah, I avoid being called queer for... well, basically every reason I've outlined in these ask answers. Having "THE QUEEREST PLACE ON THE NET" plastered on my blog was, while not triggering, rather uncomfortable for me last pride due to my associations with the word. There is nothing wrong with renaming the blog to "Pride" and using "LGBTQ+" instead of "queer" to describe the userbase, as it includes both queer (Q) people and people who might not identify with that word (LGBT*).

Thanks for taking the time to consider my position! Have a good day.

[hopeshoodie]

How do you think the LIs would react if they found out MC is a virgin

I wish everyone would just be normal about it, but you KNOW that both the producers and the islanders would make a big deal out of it. Like Lottie would be condescending to MC and call her a priss or something, the producers would constantly ask MC questions about it, there’d be more pressure for her to not (or to) get intimate on the show, and if she does people would be overly concerned if it was ‘worth it’. 

I feel like Noah, Hannah, Henrik, Rahim, and Gary wouldn’t treat MC much different. None of them would talk about it unless MC brought it up. Gary might make a joke once about it, then apologize in embarrassment, and Henrik might be more gentle with her if she asks to be intimate, but for the most part it’d be a nonissue. Maybe Rahim and Hannah would overly romanticize MC as being ‘pure’, but not to her face or out loud. 

But some of the other LIs would treat her differently than they do- 

Lucas: I feel like that’s the biggest deal breaker for Lucas of the whole cast. If he knew it going in, I feel like he’d be really dismissive of her and not be interested her at all (because it’s such a turn off, he either assumes that she’s immature or that she’s out of touch with her sexuality and not going to meet his needs). If he didn’t know and then found out while playing the game, he’d feel much worse about stringing her along to win and definitely would refuse to get intimate. If MC pursues him, he gives some ‘I’m not good enough for you, you’re too innocent to handle me’ bullshit. 

Marisol: Turn her ‘have you ever dated a women, omg really?’ up to 100. Like she’s WAY too interested in if MC is a gold star lesbian or if she’s ever said no to people or why she’s a virgin. She asks a lot of invasive questions about it, for sure. It’s a novelty to Marisol. I don’t think it’d impact their relationship past the first couple of days, though. It’s just that Marisol doesn’t have the tact to mind her business sometimes. 

Rocco: MC being open about that suddenly makes him want to be emotionally vulnerable with her, because he sees that as such an embarrassing thing to admit to. He corners her and confesses that either he’s a virgin or has only had a couple of partners. They talk about their insecurities surrounding that and actually become genuine friends. I don’t think that date (or if they do it’s certainly not BECAUSE of MC being a virgin), but he considers her a close friend. 

Kassam: I can see him being really... I don’t know... about it. Like if he and MC ended up 1 : 1 in a quiet moment in CA, he’d just randomly break the silence with, “so what’s wrong with you?” If MC pressed, he’d bring up the virgin thing and be like “I just need to know if it’s a religious thing or-” and the only answer he’s ‘okay’ with is if MC just has high standards. Idk, I feel like it’d be an awkward conversation but certainly one he’d want to bluntly have. 

Jakub: would be grossly into trying to get intimate with MC, just to say he was her first 

Felix: Makes one too many “haha so I would be the best you ever had?” and “so you’d have nothing to compare it to :)))) “ jokes. Definitely stops if MC says it makes her uncomfortable, but it’s a consideration (and he knows it’s a dumb one but can’t help himself). 

Elisa: She would say, verbatim “oh my gosh, I totally forgot you were a virgin! That’s so cute, babes! I totally get it, my standards for who I let into my... special palace... are insanely high. Sometimes people just aren’t worthy.” and that would be that. 

[shoezuki]

Can I ask you what happened in the "dear technoblade... (an open letter)" video? I legit can’t watch it but I’m curious on what it was about/said?

Yea no worries! This may be a kinda Scuffed summary cuz its been a bit. But i wanted a Blank no thoughts or feelings summary n went back thru it a Bit. So heres an Attempted Synopsis of a Letter to Technoblade:

The op starts by saying theyre a fan, that they enjoy his content, that techno has said things in the past which have made people uncomfortable.

Continues that the video isnt an attempt to 'cancel' him, but is to make things right with the people hurt. Also says that much of the minecraft community 'trust that [he's] changed as a person since then', but acknowledging his past remarks is a means of 'proving that to us'.

Immediately after op plugs their channel saying somethin like 'i dont need subscribers, but im a youtuber'. Also to share the vid, like n comment to 'get it in the algorithm'. Not to put my own Thoughts in that but thats jus tasteless n weird as fuck askin for subs on a supposedly 'serious' video

First brings up older tweets: 'again, i'm aware that youve probably changed as a person since these tweets were made, but im also aware of my friends who are jewish, lesbians, or black who are hurt by these tweets and were hurt by jokes like these before.'

First tweet:

Op says that they understand absurdist humour. But there is a Connection between hitler and lesbians in that lesbians was a group targeted by nazi germany for their sexual orientation (they say it more. Like. Specifically but i wont cuz its too Harsh in my mouth)

'Comparing hitler to lesbians contributes to demonizing lesbians and making light of the struggles of jewish people'

Other tweets noted, saying that it makes light of the horrors commited by nazis

Notes they dont think hes a 'flaming nazi or antisemite' but such jokes makes it easier for such ppl to get away w this and 'normalizes the idea that the holocaust wasnt that bad'

'Even if you werent aware of the impacts of those jokes back then and you know better now, addressing these outright and apologizing to the jewish people that youve hurt would help make things right'

The next tweets mentioned are here. Potentional context like the tweet he replied to arent given or mentioned

'I understand that jokes like that were considered normal during that period of time... but that doesnt mean they were okay back then, or that they shouldnt be addressed now'

Next: shows more recent clips; first one is from tommy's perspective when they were trying to take tubbo 'hostage' and have him work in pogtopia with antfrost. Tommy spells slave wrong, spelling slav. Techno says 'a russian?... you spelled SLAV'. tommy spells it as 'slave' then the clip ends

Next clip; taken from 'skyblock: the great potato war.' Its short and only shows techno saying 'if skyblock has taught me anything, its that if you have a problem, the answer is slavory.'

Op continues to say that these may be jokes not intended to be taken seriously, but that 'joking about this... as a white person, comes eith a whole set of problems given the historical context of slavory in the united states.'

In regards to the skyblock clip: 'techno, you know better than this! ... given that white people were the ones who genuinely viewed the answers to their problems as slavory hundreds of years ago, and that you are white, its really unsettling to hear you joke about this'

They say it minimizes the impact slavory has had and treats it like a joke

Last clip: taken from a skeppy video titled 'when skeppy, technoblade, and badboyhalo get in a call...' with techno saying 'what i was thinking like, horrific racism aside, think about how powerful it must be to be an asian right now...' then making up a scenario where an asian person is getting bullied and protends to be sick to get them to leave.

Note: i am not sure the time of that video/clip, but i think i recall it from last march so a year ago

Op continues after to say 'i understand that you were joking, i do not care if that was your intent... jokes like these have undoubtedly contributed to the rise in hate crimes against asian americans' and that it can lead to people blaming asians for the pandemic

They talk about hate crimes that Have happened within america and how asian businesses have suffered hugely

Also specifically goes into detail about the atlanta shooting

Explains that they Obviously dont think techno is Responsible for every single hate crime against asian americans, but they 'being up these hate crimes to try and point out their connections to jokes like yours'

They say again that 'although this video will get called 'spreading hate' or cancel culture', they dont want to minimize the weight of racial microaggressions to 'twitter stans being out of control'

They end the video saying its them 'reaching out on behalf of all the people hurt by these jokes' and that he should acknowledge these things which hurt people

[elizabeth-mitchells]

follow you to the beginning (just to relive the start) - Sam/Deena  - Fake Dating AU

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Deena Johnson, Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Peter (Fear Street Part 1: 1994), Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Simon Kalivoda, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Deena Johnson & Kate Schmidt, Deena Johnson & Simon Kalivoda, Minor or Background Relationship(s) Characters: Deena Johnson, Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Simon Kalivoda, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Peter (Fear Street Part 1: 1994), Background & Cameo Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon Lesbian Character, Slow Burn, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Best Friends, High School, Angst, Humor, Fluff, First Love, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Enemies, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Sam and Deena are next-door neighbors, and they inevitably and enthusiastically become best friends... until childhood gives way to tragedy, grudges, and regret.

By the time they make it to high school, Sam and Deena are still next-door neighbors but also sworn enemies... until high school introduces bigger threats that they will need to face together.

Faking a relationship might be a bad idea. But it might be the only way for Sam and Deena to understand their shared past and their feelings for each other.

Chapter 1:

Sam and Deena became best friends during one perfect summer day when they were seven years old. In Shadyside, however, perfect days weren’t meant to exist. The only reason little Sam Fraser finally had the time and freedom to spend time with her next-door neighbor was because her parents were caught in the first big fight of hundreds more to come. A part of Sam would associate both events as one and the same for a long, long time. The beginning of her friendship with Deena and the downfall of the Fraser family. In contrast, Deena was living some of the best days of her life. Days that she would treasure and idolize, perhaps more than she should have, for many years to come. Her mother was alive, her father was sober, her little brother was safe in their hands. She had all the time in the world to go out into the backyard, lay on the ground, and look for shapes in the clouds. She had been doing that for a while then a shadow suddenly appeared over her.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked. Her voice was still trembling slightly from the way she had run out of her house crying. Her eyes were red and she had a runny nose, but she looked genuinely curious to understand what her neighbor was doing.

Deena didn’t reply at first. She couldn’t. She was too shaken by the impact of Sam’s first impression on her. It wasn’t the very first time they met, of course. But their parents were usually hovering above them. So far they had never been alone together. They were very different kids, it was easy to tell with just one look. Not just physically, with Deena’s wild mane of curly brown hair and Sam’s being straight and blond, Deena’s brown eyes being warm and guarded meanwhile Sam’s blue eyes cried out her every emotion. It was also about the way Deena was thrown on the grass, comfortable and taking as much space as possible in her slightly oversized clothes that she picked herself, as long as they were in sale, while her mother fondly chuckled and followed her around the store in spite of which gendered aisle her daughter got lost in. Sam was the complete opposite, in her bright pink clothes that were always too loose or too tight because her mother didn’t care to bring her along when buying her clothes and it was made all the more noticeable by the way in which Sam stood tense and awkwardly, uncomfortable from head to toe, her feet restless as if ready to run at any given moment.

The silence between them had stretched out for too long, but Sam was good at waiting. Deena moved to a seated position and took a better look at the girl in front of her. “Fraser,” she blurted out. She couldn’t remember her neighbor’s name, but she knew her parents were Mr. and Mrs. Fraser of the constant frowns.

“Um, Johnson?” Sam tilted her head. She didn’t understand this game of calling out each other’s last names.

“I’m Deena,” the brunette said and jumped to her feet, not bothering to brush away the grass stuck to her clothes.

“Sam,” the other girl offered her hand.

Deena laughed, but she was troubled. She wanted to laugh so much more. There was this weird girl in front of her, obviously a second away from bursting into tears again, probably from the weight of the glittery pink ribbon on her head, and she was offering Deena her hand in greeting. However, her laughter died in Deena’s throat. The instinct to tease was, for once, overpowered by something new and somewhat unfamiliar. She didn’t know it was protectiveness, she didn’t understand what it was at all. She only felt a pull on her heart that wanted to make sure her neighbor was okay.

So, Deena shook Sam’s hand. She invited her to lay down with her to watch shapes in the clouds. She didn’t laugh at Sam, she made it her mission to make Sam laugh. Unknowingly, with that innocent handshake, they were starting out together the greatest adventure of their lives, with all the glorious ups and devastating downs that it would include.

It was still early, they had the entire day ahead of them, and under the clear blue Shadyside sky, the world was all theirs. 

They started lying down on the grass, side by side, looking up at the clouds. At first, it was perfect, and fun. Sam’s stomach started aching from how hard she was laughing every time Deena pointed out at the sky and said “That one looks like a butt.” And then Sam would point at a completely unidentifiable cloud and say, “That one looks like a robot.”

“What?!” Deena laughed wholeheartedly. “No, it doesn’t! You weirdo.”

Sam’s laughter dimmed. “Do you think I’m weird?”

“No!” Deena scoffed. “Isn’t that like a compliment?”

The blonde hummed in response. She hadn’t considered that the other girl was just as inexperienced at talking to other girls her age.

For a moment, there was silence between them. Enough silence for Sam to remember the deafening noise of her parents fighting, blaming each other, blaming her, blaming the town. Before she could stop it, Sam was crying again.

“Sam?” Deena called her name. She moved to a seated position and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder gently. “I’m sorry. I really don’t think you’re that weird.”

“That weird?” Sam chuckled through her tears.

Deena laughed along with her, but she still looked out of her comfort zone dealing with her crying neighbor. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“I’m okay,” Sam wiped her tears away, willing herself to regain her composure as her mother always told her to do. “I just… cry a lot. My dad says it’s because my mom doesn’t have feelings and I have to cry for the both of us.”

“Okay,” Deena nodded, not knowing how to put into words how wrong that sounded. Then she noticed a single blade of grass stuck to Sam’s pretty blonde hair. “Hold on Sam, you have grass on your head,” Deena said, and reached out to take it off.

However, Deena’s hand on her hair made an idea light up in Sam’s mind. She gasped and grabbed Deena’s wrist, holding her in place. “We should make flower crowns!”

“What?!”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to do it,” Sam smiled teasingly.

“Of course I do!” Deena scoffed. She was happy to see Sam smile, but she was second-guessing her previous statement about the blonde not being weird. Plus, it turned out not even Sam knew how to make flower crowns. It wasn’t as easy as it seemed. 

The two girls ended up hiding behind flower bushes between their homes. Sam had entertained herself weaving the prettiest flowers she could find in Deena’s curls. Meanwhile, Deena was content pulling blades of grass and unceremoniously letting them fall on Sam’s head. Deena couldn’t understand how Sam could be unbothered by the game. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Sam didn’t have many friends. In fact, not too long later, Sam whispered, “You’re my first real friend.”

Deena beamed upon hearing the words. She was happy with her parents and baby brother but, secretly, she had always wished for a friend, a girl like her, and here she was, finally. “You’re my only friend too,” Deena replied, a little shyly.

“Really?” Sam’s eyes widened.

“Yeah,” Deena chuckled.

The blonde hummed thoughtfully. “I think that makes us best friends,” Sam said.

“Oh yeah?” Deena asked. She received a confident nod in response. That made sense to her too. “Then we should celebrate.” She jumped to her feet and offered her hand to Sam, who didn’t hesitate to follow.

The day was long, and there was so much they were dying to show each other. The hours passed by in a sun-bathed blur of childish laughter. They did everything and nothing, jumping without reason, running without destination, rolling in the grass, picking flowers, climbing trees, scratching their knees, and jumping back up into made-up games and fantasy scenarios that they hadn’t ever had a chance to share with anybody.

There were a thousand little moments that years later they would wish they could have immortalized some way. When Deena showed Sam a spider and Sam ran away. When Deena hurt her finger with a thorn from Sam’s mother’s rose bushes, and Sam kissed the afflicted finger and promised she wouldn’t tell anybody Deena cried.

When Deena started climbing the tree at the back of the backyard, Sam started freaking out. “Deena! You’ll hurt yourself!” Sam repeated many times. Deena was thinking Sam sounded older than she really was when she was worried.

“I won’t,” the blonde scoffed, getting comfortable in what actually was a really low branch of the tree. “Besides, if I fall you can catch me!”

“I can try!” Sam said, throwing her arms around her. “But you’ll probably crush me and then we’ll both be dead!”

“Hey! I’m not that heavy!”

Deena’s protest, unfortunately, made her lose her balance. For a moment, she was hanging from the branch of the tree, feeling her heart on her throat. But then Sam’s slender arms were holding on to her legs, as tightly as the little girl was capable of. Deena smiled brightly. She felt surprisingly safe, even if she knew that Sam wasn’t strong enough to literally hold her up. “Sam, let go, it’s okay, I got it,” Deena let her know.

Sam stepped back to let Deena land on her feet, but a second later she was back, wrapping her arms around Deena’s torso this time, holding just as tightly if not more. “You scared me,” Sam mumbled, her voice muffled by the way she had her face pressed against Deena’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Deena said. She let her arms fall limply at her sides. She still felt out of her depth with Sam, even after one of the best days of her life. Her instinct told her to make fun of Sam, who was moved near to tears. But her heart stopped her for unknown reasons. Instead, she let her cheek rest on top of Sam’s head. At the time, Deena was taller. “It’s okay,” Deena repeated. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m your best friend, remember? I don’t think I’m allowed to leave you now.”

Sam chuckled and finally dropped her arms. Deena felt a chill at the loss. “Do you promise?” Sam asked.

Deena frowned a little, but continued to smile. “I promise,” she said, finding it increasingly difficult to say not the blonde girl that had stumbled into her personal space earlier that day with tears still in her eyes.

“Okay,” Sam exclaimed. She leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on Deena’s cheek. She was so excited it nearly threw both of them off balance, and when she pulled back, they were both blushing. But they moved on quickly, that day. Sam took Deena’s hand and started leading her to a different spot in the wide and free space behind their houses. “My mom told me about a spa. It’s a place where they put mud in your face to make you pretty. We should try it.”

“I’m already pretty!” Deena protested.

“Yeah, you are,” Sam shrugged. “But maybe it can help me.”

“You are more than pretty, Sam,” Deena frowned.

That made the blonde girl stop in her tracks. “Do you think so?” She asked Deena, and the brunette nodded enthusiastically. Sam was thoughtful for a moment, but eventually shrugged, and tried to continue with her plans, clearly not completely believing the other girl’s words. She was stopped by Deena a moment later, refusing to go further.

“Hey, you didn’t make the promise too,” Deena pointed out.

“Oh! You’re right,” Sam nodded, very seriously. “Okay then… I promise to always be your best friend, and to never leave you, and… um, is there something else?” She looked up at Deena for guidance.

Deena grinned at her. “No, that’s it. That’s cool.”

The two girls started laughing again, and continued with their games for a long time. They did end up playing with the mud, and then tried to wash it off, creating a bigger mess, with the hose they found behind Deena’s house. 

Toward the end of the day, when the sun started to set, both girls were well aware that their parents would be coming out at any moment to call them back home. They chose to end their first day as best friends exactly how they started it. They lay on the grass in the backyard in between their houses, and they looked up at the infinite sky above them. There weren’t many clouds anymore, but the first stars were showing up in the sky, and they were more than happy to count them one by one. 

That was how it started. One perfect day, and dozens of them just the same. Sam ran away from her house to the backyard every time her parents were having a fight. Deena made her laugh until Sam couldn’t remember crying for anything other reason than pure joy. Sam picked the prettiest flowers she could find and gave them to Deena, and hugged her especially tight every time Deena fell down from the tree she loved to climb. From the Johnsons’ window, Deena’s mom watched them fondly, happy that her daughter had a friend. From the Frasers’ window, Sam’s mom watched them with a frown on her face, upset about Sam ruining her clothes. But they never had reasons to stop them from having fun, they didn’t have any reason to put barriers between their daughters. And the two girls couldn’t imagine a world where they would be anything but the best of friends.

Much like everything in Shadyside, their perfect days would soon come to a bitter end but, even then, it wouldn’t be the end of Sam and Deena’s story.

[phoenixyfriend]

The Naruto/Frozen Crossover

So I was planning on just doing an image ID thing for this post, but apparently the formatting on desktop is such a mess that it’s easier to just make a new post that’s text only. I can also like. Bulletpoint it so that it can be a little neater. All ideas were made with @firebirdeternal​‘s help, because they are the most efficient enabler I have.

Also I added some bits at the end.

Under a cut, because it’s Long As Heck.

I originally had two options: either Mid-teens Elsa and Anna being transported to ninja land sometime pre-canon and running into Haku and Zabuza... or just like. Born as a Daimyou's daughters.

Spoiler alert, we’ve got nukenin and I’m a sucker for an intrusive crossover, so transported to ninja land it is.

Suggestion from Birdie:

Mechanism for crossover: Elsa ices over a Wishing Well by accident after having Wished for someone else who understood her, Anna and her fall in and get Ice Mirror Portaled to Ninjaland, falling out of an iced over pond near a shrine that Haku recently prayed at for similar lonely child reasons?

Which I like! They don’t end up there soon enough to run into Haku, because I want a dramatic chase first, but I like it.

Obviously, Anna is forced to learn about Elsa's powers because it's the only thing keeping them safe

Or at least alive

(Elsa will do ANYTHING to keep Anna safe, and if that means she has to get her hands dirty...)

...neither of them knows Japanese, so, you know. There’s that.

I'm thinking that they end up in/near Kiri at first

And they aren't FAST ENOUGH to get away so Elsa panic-enchants a giant reindeer made of snow to run away across the suddenly-frozen ocean.

She and Anna have to ride and Elsa is probably crying the whole time.

Oh shit this is like. RIGHT after their parents die, I forgot. So that’s a thing! They are in mourning and all that fun stuff.

Point is, they use the powers for a Self Defense thing and BBY Haku is just !!! "Master can we rescue them for Ice Cousin reasons?" Zabuza: Yes, and only for those practical reasons and not because I collect endangered children like people collect pokemon cards.

I imagine that maybe they track rumors of a Yuki-onna down, or the Giant Snow Reindeer rides by and Haku’s just like Wat

The girls just tag along with Zabuza because. Like.

Do they like him? No. Do they trust him? No. Do they enjoy the fact that he considers them pathetic civilians? No.

However, Haku is Baby.

Zabuza is REALLY annoyed at them being Useless Civilian Royals “but Haku likes them so I guess they can stay.”

Age at meeting, three years pre-canon:

Zabuza - 23

Elsa - 18

Anna - 15

Haku - 12

Elsa is 90% anxiety/depression master combo BUT if Zabzua protects her then she's WILDLY dangerous so like. Whatever

Elsa's bingo book nickname options, uninspired:

Winter Witch

Winter Queen

Ice Queen

Snow Queen

Something about a Yuki-Onna maybe

She's Very Stately and kinda breakable but Winter is her Bitch

I mean like, the fact that, if protected, she can shut down the agriculture of a fucking country? That's an S-rank even if she's not that useful in a fight.

She's like. Jinchuuriki-level destruction. Generally speaking she wouldn’t. But she could.

Elsa: What the fuck is a chakra? Elsa: my snow monsters are self-sustaining. Elsa: I'm gonna build us a house.

Zabuza has NO idea how her powers work and it is INCREDIBLY frustrating but “there’s no chakra cost to keep these things going and we have shelters on demand” is too convenient to question after a while.

Haku: Delicate, deadly, incredibly fast ninja work. Elsa: I can't dodge a kunai but watch me wreck your entire country's ecosystem in under a day.

Elsa is a siege weapon.

Meanwhile, Anna is really, really into the physicality of ninja practice.

She's clumsy and she's not very good at ninja stuff, but she sure is determined!

Anna also gets on Zabuza's nerves because she keeps insisting that Haku get to be a kid.

Anna: Let's make flower crowns! Zabuza: No, he needs to train, not- Anna: FLOWER CROWNS

Consider: Haku saying Elsa-nee-sama and Anna-hime.

Or just calling Elsa “onee-sama.”

Anna is also younger than Elsa and way more Fun so she probably gets adjusted to Anna-chan or Nee-chan.

If Zabuza calls Elsa “Hime-chan” or “Elsa-hime” or, Sage forbid, “Elsa-sama/dono” then he’s VERY MUCH making fun of her and he’s probably getting his soup frozen that night.

At one point, Elsa... tries to like. Convince herself to have a crush on Zabuza or Kakashi or something until Zabuza just puts a hand on her shoulder and asks "do you even like men?" "...that's an OPTION?"

Zabuza urging her to try and ask out a Cute Kunoichi and Elsa's like.... I can't decide if she's bright red and a useless lesbian or uncomfortable and ace.

I am SO invested in the siege weapon thing.

SHE IS THE SQUISHIEST WIZARD.

It's not her fault that every single other combatant on the continent is Massively Dangerous in melee! She took a very traditional back-line build!

Enemy: Doesn't it GRATE to protect someone so pathetic, Zabuza? Zabuza: She literally froze an entire castle of enemies to death because they harmed her sister, so. No.

Most Ninjas: Sharp Knife. S-Rank Mega Ninjas: Gun. Elsa: High Yield Explosive Rocket Launcher. Literally loses fights to the Knife People, because she can't bring her power to bear on that scale. But if you can give her Time and Prep? No contest.

Long distance AoE

Like  you know how Nagato is literally dying of starvation due to illness and can't walk, but he's also capable of leveling powerful villages more or less on his own?

Elsa is the same Vibe.

It’s like sealing a bijuu in a civilian.

She's honestly both more and less powerful? Like it'd be hard for her to kill everyone in Konoha in the snap of a finger? But also, she could starve out the Country of Fire in a summer.

She WOULDN'T, but she could.

I always read Elsa as gay or ace but my brain keeps trying to ship her with dude ninjas and I have to yank it back on a child leash.

People insinuate that Zabuza is interested in Elsa and he's just "What? Ew she's like five."

"I'm eighteen."

"Five."

BUT

Elsa! Might mistake trust and companionship for a crush!

I can see THAT happening despite gay/ace.

Also like. I don’t think Zabuza is straight.

So mlm/wlw solidarity?

And Haku is probs genderqueer.

So Anna is THE TOKEN STRAIGHT.

Anna is like, the Straight Friend who will go to the mat for her queer friends. Like vicious. In-your-face barking like a mean dog at people who were being bigots.

You know how Elsa in the second movie uses her powers to make toys for kids out of ice?

Okay, so her practicing by making things with Haku.

But yeah, Elsa can't really do "throws ice senbon," but she can do Delicate Geometry Things since she apparently, canonically studies math for fun and loves fractals.

Haku: I can trap you in a prison of ice mirrors, and you are at my mercy. Elsa: LOOK AT THIS CASTLE I MADE???

Haku wants to do Pretty Things like Elsa

OH.

Elsa makes... snow bunnies..

For the ninja distraction reasons but also because it's a Soft Thing that makes her feel better about, uh, everything. And Haku likes bunnies.

Zabuza still takes The Dirty Missions but Elsa gets upset when he does something that hurts innocents and Nobody wants Elsa upset. Even Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset.

When Elsa gets upset, overnight accommodations are suddenly Very Uncomfortable for everyone except her and Haku.

And then Anna gets upset, which makes Elsa even MORE upset.

And then things just keep getting colder.

Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset for many reasons, not limited to: "Is actually capable of killing me from outside of Sword Range if she's mad enough, even if it’s not that easy" and "the Small Children would be unbearably sad if she died and honestly so might I."

She's more of a friend than a ward and he's not entirely sure he's okay with that.

Zabuza: "Ew, friendship."

He has absolutely no idea how to have a social interaction with people he isn't Bullying, Raising, or Threatening to Kill.

Elsa and Anna have no trouble convincing people they're related, at least. Different coloration with almost identical bone structure.

A tendency to burst into song when they feel emotions.

Identical weird accent that nobody can place.

FOOD

The girls are royalty, they don't know how to COOK.

But they also want food from HOME.

It's a lot of trial and error.

More error than not, since they have both no knowledge and also a language barrier to overcome. It probably takes YEARS before they can describe things like Unfamiliar Flavors well enough for people to say "OH that sounds like spearmint."

When they run into something they know that’s familiar, it’s life-changing.

Chocolate is more common in the elemental nations than in Arandelle and Anna may or may not cry about it.

Anna is loudly bossy, even at Zabuza.

Zabuza is gruffly commanding, to everyone.

Elsa doesn't actually like being in charge, but when she talks, people LISTEN.

(Haku is just happy to be here.)

Elsa radiates two things: Anxiety, and Natural Command, and she basically just fluctuates between those.

"I don't want to be in charge but also I'm vetoing this."

So, obviously, the main reasons that Zabuza keeps the girls around is that Elsa is a living siege weapon and he thinks she could be convinced to help him run a revolution in Kiri, and also that the Ice Queen schtick is like. Really good for Haku and Zabuza can’t really say no to the kid.

HOWEVER, Anna is clumsy and messy and all that, so Zabuza starts training her in Ninja stuff. Elsa joins in on the “I need to know how to Run Fast to get away from fights I don’t want to have in the first place,” but Anna’s the one that’s like “TEACH ME HOW TO SWORD.”

It’s honestly not that hard to teach her, she’s just really, really, REALLY enthusiastic.

Once or twice someone asks why she’s so bad at this yet running around with an A-rank nukenin and Zabuza’s just like “I’ve only had her for a year and a half, shut up!” because it’s not that he’s a bad teacher, it’s that she was a very pampered civilian until like a week before he met her.

He should get a MEDAL for even getting her to low Chuunin.

Zabuza: I'm taking a job from Gato Elsa, who has Training in economics and politics and bureaucracy: I have a better idea.

This is actually not entirely what I’d do but I wanted to make the joke first ANYWAY here’s an actual plot or something.

Oh, also by this point everyone is Canon Ages so Elsa’s 21 and Anna’s 18 and Zabuza’s 26 and Haku’s 15.

Elsa is getting paid to keep the water from interfering with construction, by way of....

ICE COFFERDAM

Elsa with Haku as her Guard while Zabuza is off running his own mission? Which Anna begged to go on because Cool.

Elsa also kind of keeps her involvement on the ice front semi-secret by claiming she’s there as an engineering consultant.

LISTEN canon made her like geometry, I can ENTIRELY believe she’d be excited about the bridge-building.

Gato has hired someone else on the danger level of Zabuza, who is Threatening to Team 7 + Haku? But then when things look bleak Anna and Zabuza arrive and then Scary Sword Man is on our side and oh dear that's a lot of blood.

Which, you know, fun!

Birdie suggested Raiga which I’m not feeling but I do feel the need to bring up as an option.

It’s also not Kisame BUT

Kisame: [giant lake dome filled with sharks]

Elsa: uhhhhhhhhhhh...

Giant lake dome: [is now a giant ice dome]

Anyway

Gato: I'm hiring an army. Elsa: [giant ice wall around his compound] Gato: ... these guys can walk up walls! Elsa: [adds snowman guards] Elsa: ... Elsa: [adds a ceiling]

Just puts Gato's entire mob in a fucking snow globe.

Zabuza shows up twenty minutes late with (Throwing) Star(buck)s just like "Oh, they dead? No? Want 'em to be? Okay cool I'm gonna go pick up Haku, I'll be back in like an hour."

Anna would... LOVE Naruto

ENERGETIC FRIENDLY GOOFBALL

"I found us a baby brother!" "No, we already have Haku." "BUT LOOK AT HIM."

Anna is only a year or two older than Itachi.

OH RIGHT

I wanted to make a joke about how Naruto also vibes with her because he's less judgmental that she can't really... talk properly.

Sasuke is Judgy and Kakashi is Paranoid and Sakura is Uncomfortable.

Meanwhile Naruto is just like "And I Shall Scream."

Anna, who learned Japanese from Zabuza (rude) and Haku (uber polite): WELL FUCK YOU, GOOD SIR Naruto: YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, LADY Elsa, overly formal: I am... so very sorry.

Anyway, generic missing nin fights and all that.

Elsa gets injured in the process and after a variety of arguments, Naruto manages to convince them to take her to Konoha for medical attention.

Elsa is... usually the one getting injured.

Zabuza and Haku are FAST and Anna is at least learning (even if she’s only been doing it for three years), but Elsa is The Squishy Wizard.

If someone throws a kunai... she can’t... really dodge...

So yeah, gut wound.

Normally they find a nukenin medic to patch them up but Konoha is reasonably close and has some of the more skilled medics on the continent and they DID technically help the Konoha nin so like. Gah.

That’s Zabuza’s final thought. Gah.

Just “Fuck it, let’s save the ice queen.”

Elsa ends up in a half-literal-ice stasis state on the way there and it’s happened before (it is not the first time she’s been stabbed), but it’s always terrifying.

Especially to the Konoha genin who are just like WHAT THE HECK IS THAT.

So they get to Konoha, there’s a whole bunch of stuff about extradition treaties and “you are bringing a literal WMD of a woman into our town” and “we can’t just let MOMOCHI ZABUZA in.”

Anyway, it ends up being that Zabuza has to wait outside the village while Elsa is treated inside, and one of the Teenagers goes in. Obviously, it’s Anna, because Zabuza is INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE with letting Haku enter a village that’s known for having lots of bloodlines, and anyway, Anna’s the sister.

Bunch of stuff, she’s healing, etc, and then one day Anna comes in and is told “your sister had a bad reaction to the anesthetic, we couldn’t save her, I’m sorry, she’s gone.”

She flips out, gets shown the corpse, flips out MORE, gets escorted out to the village walls where Zabuza and Haku are waiting.

Horrified reactions

Zabuza doesn’t want to admit that it’s EMOTIONS because this is his FRIEND, he is clearly just upset about losing the living siege weapon.

Haku is just super confused and goes “But she’s not dead.”

“What.”

“She’s not dead, I can feel her, I can always feel her, it’s like sensing but just her, because we’re both ice. She’s alive, somewhere over... there?”

And points right in the direction of the Hokage Mountain, which for the purposes of this fic and also Drama is where ROOT headquarters is.

YEP we absolutely have that plot point.

Is Danzo overused as a plot device? Probably. Am I going to diabolus ex machina him anyway? Ye.

They kick up enough of a fuss that the Hokage gets called down.

He wouldn’t, normally, he’d leave it to a couple of skilled jounin and call it a day, except Naruto got involved so like. You can’t. Ignore that.

There’s lots of shouting.

Just like. A lot.

And then part of the mountain explodes!

AS ONE DOES

Elsa comes flying backwards out of the hole, catches herself on a spontaneous ice slide, gets to her feet.

Girl is swaying like MAD.

There are absolutely ANBU (both fake and real) coming after her.

At least one of them gets speared through by an ice spike.

Anna runs up to her, tries to hug her, gets batted away.

Elsa’s staring at her in sheer TERROR and starts muttering something about how Anna died years ago, this isn’t real, etc.

Nobody except Anna understands most of it, but Haku picks up enough to translate when Anna’s freaking out.

Elsa starts doing her Ice Castle thing in the middle of Konoha as a coping mechanism, mostly so she can get Up and Away and Shielded By Ice.

This is not a good look.

Especially because she’s singing, which Zabuza always thinks is a bad omen because it means shit is getting real and one or both of the girls are about to get a powerup or be beaten even harder than otherwise. When they start singing, things get More Dramatic And Extreme).

(Zabuza does not like Disney Musical Rules)

Danzo shows up.

There’s a bunch of arguing.

All the medics insist that nothing she was given at the hospital should have caused amnesia, psychosis, hallucinations, delusions, etc.

It’s. Not hard for Hiruzen to guess what happened.

Namely that Danzo, upon finding out that chakra dampeners didn’t do shit since none of Elsa’s powers come from chakra, decided to keep her drugged up and start using genjutsu to make her more malleable.

Because like. An injured WMD just showed up in your village. What are you supposed to do, not try to kidnap her and turn her to your side? Like, come on. What was he supposed to do?

Not that, Danzo. Literally Not That.

IDK how it gets resolved, probably Anna getting to her with the power of love, because Elsa is ultimately Super Disney.

I also don’t really know where to go from there other than “Maybe Jiraiya can get you home, but also I’m pretty sure Zabuza wants you all to get the hell out of here and take over Kiri” but who knows.

Also

IMAGINE ELSA MEETING GAI.

Imagine Ino getting a puppy crush on Elsa.

IDK that’s it for now.

[dancedance-resolution]

Why Batwoman 2x01 was so good:

1. The writers managed to strike a great balance between paying respect to Kate Kane and introducing Ryan. Kate Kane as a character is, of course, significant to DC. She’s an important source of representation as a Jewish lesbian, and she has a large legacy/mythos within the larger DC Comics history. Batwoman first showed respect to Kate as a character by wisely chosing to not kill her off. Next, there’s one scene where Ryan is reading up on Kate, developing new understanding and respect in the process, and every few seconds the camera cuts over to where Mary and Luke are reading up on Ryan, similarly gaining understanding and respect for Ryan. I think this scene effectively facilitate the batsuit’s—as a mantle, as a symbol, and as a mythos—being passed on to Ryan. It paid a large amount of respect to Kate as a character, pointing out some of the most significant aspects of her character, and sort of drew Ryan into Kate’s mythos as Batwoman in a way that helps facilitate her becoming Batwoman - she comes to learn and respect the history and the gravity of Batwoman as a person, as an entity, as a figure of justice, and as an icon; and as a result, she can now carry on that legacy and expand it, using it to bring even more good to the world.

But even before she learned about Kate, Ryan respected her. When Ryan first met Mary and Luke, she offers genuine condolences for their loss. She doesn’t disrespect them or make light of their grief. Even though these two people are strangers,

In the process of paying due respect to Kate, however, Batwoman did not minimize Ryan or treat her as “second” to Kate. Ryan got a significant amount of screentime and focus—as she should—and her time on screen was all truly meaningful. We’ve begun to see her backstory, see who she is as a person, and see what that will mean for her as Batwoman.

2. Ryan is a lovable character, and Javicia did an excellent job portraying her. I love Ryan a lot, guys. She’s passionate, earnest, and driven. She’s down-to-earth and has a strong sense of justice that leads her through life. And at the same time, she’s a charming dork - the type of charming dork who yells “I’m bulletproof, bitches!” after dangling helplessly from the sky by a grappling hook. I, obviously, fucking love her for it.

I also think that the writers did a great job of keeping the vibe of season 1 to a good extent. The way Ryan was introduced felt like a proper introduction considering what we know about this show’s Gotham and considering how things were done in season 1. It worked well. Additionally, it is not lost on me how meaningful it is that from Ryan’s very first scene, we see that her instinct is to selflessly help victims to the best of her ability, and it is because she went out to help them that she stumbled upon the Batsuit. Furthermore, in that scene where she does discover the suit, the flashbacks establish that this moment in meaningful beyond just this one moment of time - it has connection to Ryan’s history and motivations for becoming Batwoman. During the DC Fandome this past summer, Caroline Dries said this season would deal with destiny. I think that that first scene was a great way to introduce it as a concept without taking away any of the sense that Ryan truly deserves this mantle as well. (One last side note - the use of music and sound effects in that first scene was excellent.)

While the writers certainly deserve a good bit of credit for creating this amazing character from scratch, I think Javicia also deserves a lot of credit here - she did an absolutely stunning job as Ryan. The charm I saw in Ryan was very similar to the goofy charm she brought to Ali in God Friended Me (which I loved, by the way), and those lighter scenes were played with the same adeptness as the dark, intense, and gutwrenchingly emotional scenes.

3. Batwoman acknowledged Alice’s grief and trauma in a way that also gave viewers some closure regarding season 1 matters. I think that Alice’s grief process was written pretty well considering her already existing trauma. And that succinct summary of Alice’s plan to get her dad to kill Kate was pretty clever on the writer’s part, as it gave us some closure regarding season 1’s goings on that were interrupted by COVID (and that were unable to be seen to completion since Kate Kane is no longer Batwoman).

4. The episode had many powerful moments. Some quotes that really struck me:

“You make it sound like these are all my choices...You wanna know why I haven’t paid my fines? Because I can’t find a job. Because I don’t have a home. Because no land lord wants to rent to an ex-con on post-release. You see how this works? No one cares that the dope wasn’t mine or that the Crows were dirty. Or that I’m actually a decent human. I am a file in your cabinet. That is not having power. That is thr very definition of powerless.” This line is made all the more powerful by the fact that Ryan’s first words upon donning the Batsuit are “Time to be powerful.”

“Trust me, I know I’m not a symbol, or a name, or a legacy...I am a number. I am the 327th baby of a Black woman who died of childbirth that year. I am a twenty-dollar-a-day check to a group home. I’m Inmate 4075 serving eighteen months for a crime I didn’t commit. But I can live with all those numbers because the mama who adopted me? I was her number one. But it turns out she’s just one of a quarter million murders in this country who have not seen justice. And that is a number I can’t live with.”

“I’m bulletproof, bitches!”

5. Batwoman has a truly excellent supporting cast. I know that a significant portion of the Batwoman fandom has been in love with Mary, Luke, and Alice since day one. One common fear within the fandom was that season 2 would feel like a completely different show, but at least in this episode, that wasn’t the case. The supporting characters were all prominently featured and given a good amount of emotional depth to cover - and seeing their journey helped the show feel familiar and helped carry us viewers over into this new era of Batwoman. And because the transition from Kate to Ryan was so well done, as I discussed in point 1, I didn’t feel like there was any absence or lacking in the show.

6. They did a great job carrying over that Kryptonite storyline from last season. In fact, it makes a lot more sense to me now. I was admittedly a bit confused by the whole Kryptonite storyline last season (it felt a bit like a mere device to facilitate Kate’s relationship with Kara - which, hey, I’m not complaining; I loved that friendship and think they should have hooked up once). Perhaps it was confusing since COVID cut it short. But whatever the reason, I’m glad that I now understand the deeper purpose behind this Kryptonite storyline. And, wow, this has the potential to be super cool and interesting!

7. They called out the Crows in a meaningful way. I think I’m not the only person who is a bit uncomfortable with the Crows in both concept and practice (yes, I do understand that they’re based on the comics, though). So I really appreciated—and found it super powerful—that it was Ryan who delivered the line “The Crows were dirty.” Sometimes I get confused as to whether Batwoman is portraying the Crows as good or bad, so lines like that give me comfort in knowing that the show at the very least acknowledges the problematic nature of an overmilitarized private police force that has been contracted out to have dominion over a city whose population includes a significant amount of low income people.

8. Bonus: They did good by the shippers. Batmoore shippers got some closure by observing Sophie’s grief process and hearing the letter Kate left her. Pennymoore shippers are certainly getting emotional and significant content for their ship. And for clowns like me, the show introduced a great new ship, Mary/Ryan, that I adore even though I know it won’t be canoning, lol.

[zombiegurlmode]

Sad that Camren Shippers are to blame. But alas, scape goats are necessary for someone to thrive

I’m not done ranting apparently. Clearly, after all of my satirical nature has come to pass, truth of the matter is, for someone who spoke so openly and highly of valuing love and honesty and all that jazz. Your words cut deeper than any knife could. And for someone who openly “claims” of being a part of the LGBT+ community, (whereas the numbers are thriving so much that more letters are added and we’re almost about to fill in the entire alphabet) we have yet to receive such a backlash coming from “supposedly” one of us. Imagine the horror right? True, perhaps your words may have been misconstrued by the public at large or twisted in some form to suit everyone’s selfish needs. I mean after all, isn’t that what camren shippers are called for - delusional AF and toxic as hell. Well, we don’t deny it and couldn’t deny the fact that yes, there are plenty of us who are quite enthusiastic to a fault. Honestly, tell me in what space or bygone era have toxic people never appeared in. Truth of the matter is, it’s how you deal with things and toxicity that affect each and everyone of us. Happiness is only a matter of possessing the right attitude. And no one, not any one, can take that away from you. Not even hardships.

There are several things I would like to personally address though. Camren shippers most likely than not have in some way or the other connected with you. We all something that we could relate to, From your internalized phobia, or from you getting to finally openly admit your own sexuality and fully embracing it wonderfully, or some other things that the others felt truly connected or as you love to so put it “resonate” with you. So don’t blame your fans if they are passionate in expressing themselves because all humans have escapism in them. And to some, perhaps, this is the only means they have some semblance of control to freely express themselves openly. No one is undermining your hardship when you were outed, or that fact that you were bullied for it, or pressured to act in a certain acceptable way so you may be deemed as socially normal “acceptable” human being, whereas all you truly deserve was love and compassion. But I would like to remind you of one very fine detail. When you were outed, camren shippers were there to support you. Because they (wasn’t here yet when it happened so I can’t include myself) understood well above and beyond that what you encountered was so horrendous. You were cheated and robbed of that one pleasure and right given to every LGBT+ member to pride on - the true nature of coming out. See the thing is, the homophobes corrupted the words coming out so much that even as LGBT+ members sometimes forget the true existence of it. it’s not about public declaration or waving the flag, or marching in rainbows, or stamping a giant sign across your forehead declaring that you’re a proud, frolicking, fun-loving, women-loving lesbian (or in any way the others identify themselves as). No! Coming out and its true nature is simply coming to terms with yourself on your own pace and leisure. So truly I am sorry that you have been cheated out of this privilege. But it wouldn’t be fair for you to lump it together with your emotions and throw it at your brethren (if you even consider us as such). Perhaps, that is not your intention. Just to be clear, I am not invaliding how you’ve felt or how you’re feeling now. No one has the power to do that to someone else - I’m referring to telling others how to feel. Yet the message we perceived is quite clear. That we, as a collective known as Camren Shippers, who “supposedly” belong to the LGBT+ community (ok, maybe not all of us. that’s too presumptive on my part) and pride on understanding your own volitions caused this very volitions to surface or in your words “manifest” in you. We are the hindrances that robbed you of your chance to have a decent flirtation towards the same sex. Ironically speaking, Camren Shippers were the ones also on the forefront of defending your honor when some boy belonging to a particular boy band along with his bandmates ridiculed and degraded your feminine existence simply because they thought they were joking around. I mean aren’t jokes like that - it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Jokes most often than not are made at the expense of others. Doesn’t make it any less right, but then again who are we to blame them for something they thought of as a joke. Let’s all face it people, we are all guilty of this act. And yet, the CS never did falter. Carrying their banners of delusions and brandishing their armors of grandeurs, all in the name sake of defending someone who is belittled for the sake of “fun and games”. Even after deliberately attacking the CS for their enthusiasm and calling it invasive, they were still there for you especially so when they saw how pressure started affecting you. They were always so attuned to you that they were the first to notice signs that you may possibly be queer or you may possibly be undergoing some form of inner conflict. They all wish you good health and as you put it in words “send their love to you” so you may never feel alone enduring all this pain. And now imagine the heartache that every shipper might or might not be going through right now. Because apparently, that same support that they have been sending you is perceived as pain and suffering from your end. How would you feel if the very thought that the love and adoration you have causes someone pain and insecurity? So far, all that you have discussed is the negativity that surrounds an apparent DEAD SHIP. Negativity? Sounds familiar right? You preach on it on numerous occasion. You even wrote a song 50FT. Maybe you should be the one to listen on your own attunement. You brought so much negativity on the topic whereas it was meant to be about your coming out. Again, sorry that you’re coming out seemed more like a burden than liberation for you. And again, I apologize that we are the reason behind it.

Just to clarify. We never undermined your suffering. We know all too well the pain that one undergoes in this journey called self discovery of one’s true sexuality. To be honest, those of us who fear coming out or being outed because of rejection, bullying, disowning, we are the lucky ones. There are some of us who undergo far more threats by simply accepting who they truly are. They fear for the safety of their family, they fear for their own safety, they fear the valid threats of rape and degradation and being treated as if you are worse than animals. There are those individuals where the very soil that they stood upon view homosexuality as ILLEGAL and violation of such law would yield severe punishments. So tell them, tell them that they don’t know the risks, the pains, the sufferings, the deteriorations of ones’ sanities, tell them that they don’t understand it because all they ever care about is Camren. Tell them that they’re only glimmer of hope on priding on someone that may have found what they yearn for is invalid. Tell them that living vicariously on your life brings so much distraught on your otherwise calm existence. Tell them that and they have been the first ones to apologize that you felt that way. Because I’ve read their posts and I’ve felt their pains. And we are sorry to cause you so much pain.

I will remind you. No one forced you to audition for xfactor in the pursuance of your dream. You even have the support of your family for your journey. And we are all grateful that you did. Otherwise, we may not even have bothered you so much. Otherwise, we may not even know that you existed. So let me remind you that the industry you belong to - spotlight is king. So don’t go complaining if your put under the it - that’s the point of the industry my dear, the limelight. I’m a purchaser, I can’t complain if my daily tasks comprise of purchasing goods. Otherwise, I have no business being a purchaser. I’m clearly in the wrong field if I felt that way. So it wouldn’t be fair to tell your fans (if you even consider us as such) to blame us for putting you under the spotlight. May I make a suggestion? Try holding a concert without the lights on next time. You do have sensitive eyes because of the lack of melanin in your eyes. We get that.

Also, you know Becky G never did mention about camren. You brought it up on your own. Just like you’ve given us “it’s camren yo!”. You did say and i quote (uh oh i’m sure going to butcher this. I failed in quoting people all the time) “i don’t really talk about it” and then preceded to have entire litany about camren and whatnot. Ok, I get it, it was part of your coming out process. Cool. Then you’ve touched upon how reading fanfics have ruined you. And made you feel like a predator. Firstly, camren fanfics are intended for shippers only. Like all mediums, they have their own specific intended audieces. For you to wander into uncharted terrains, you must have understood the risks it entails. I don’t know which ones you’ve read, but most fics from decent authors have disclaimer on them. Did you even bother reading the disclaimer? On the onset of something that made you feel awkward or uncomfortable or disturbing, you should’ve stopped on your own and never be bothered with it again. That’s the usual thing to do. If any human find something or someone repulsive, they would ceased to seek it. But it bothered you so much and made you feel like a predator then you’ve read the entirety of it (maybe i’m exaggerating, ok a good chuck of it, sounds better?) Well someone did tell me it could have been born out of curiosity. Yeah curiosity did kill the cat, you know? Unless of course you’re a masochist, then now I finally understand and I have nothing more to add.

So for my parting words, I would again extend my deepest, sincerest apology I could muster in my current sane state for being the cause and hindrance for your inner peace and wellbeing. I am not mocking you. This is just the nature I write. Troublesome, I know. But I’m being honest. If my being a fan of you, and shipping you in our own little niche, caused you so much pain and suffering then I respect your wishes. It would be foolish of me to continue pouring my support to you when all along I’m actually doing the opposite and harming you in the process. I mean what decent human being would like to inflict pain unto others. So in honor of my last words relating to your brand Lauren Jauregui or the very dead ship that apparently troubled you so much, I bid you the very best. May you flourish on your career and find inner peace and true happiness forever and always. I would not like to be a fan of any brand that I’m the apparent cause whether directly or indirectly impedes in attaining their endeavors. All the best in your album release and who knows maybe I’ll stumble upon your music again someday. 

[eventual-ghoste]

TOG rambling

Hello! This post has to do with Andy and some revelations at the end of Force Multiplied. Spoilers I give aren’t super specific but they’re there, and I can’t promise they won’t bite.

This is also in response to a TOG discord question I couldn’t stop thinking about, regarding Andy’s history as compared to Nicky’s, as posited by Em | salzundhonig:

But Nicky's past as a crusader and his growth from his past was well received, surely that'll be the same with Andy right?

I apologize if these ramblings sound like a rant but I swear my intentions are in the spirit of debate/discourse, and they are not an attack on any individuals.

The TL;DR is: Andy has work to do. Hopefully Hollywood and Rucka don’t fuck that up.

Feel free to check/correct/call me out if I’ve misspoke anywhere here (I realize I still have a lot to learn) but IMHO, I don’t think a semblance of Andy’s growth will be well received. Or, at least, I’m not so certain it should be because, in the comics, I genuinely don’t think Andy has grown. At the end of Force Multiplied, she still defends her actions with the “this is how I grew up” argument, and says it was “a long time ago,” and as much as I love love LOVE Andromache the Scythian for her badassery and how she’s a vision of female empowerment, I can’t help but think about how I hear those words all the time from people defending themselves against racist and/or sexist comments from so-called bygone eras.

Wanna know a sad difference between those people and our beloved Andy? They apologize for what they’ve done, or who they were. As hollow as the words will sound, however unforgivable their actions, however self-serving the apology will be— Those Asshats apologize. Comic!Andy never does, not even when confronted by Nile, an African American woman who likely descends from slaves, and has undoubtedly experienced racism and discrimination on a regular basis. It’s been thousands of years and Andy doesn’t even know how to say sorry (if she ever does, kudos to whoever finds a timestamp/panel, and let me know!). Instead, Andy buries the truth of her actions with a load of justifications to the point that she becomes self-deprecating, calling herself “vermin,” concluding she’s no better than the apathetic, selfish, evil POS they hunt. She may have spent the past millennia with TOG, trying to make things right but then—

But then she gives up. She’s tired. She resigns because she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight the injustice she once willingly and self-servingly participated in. So, on top of being incapable of apology, Andy also doesn’t vow to do better. She doesn’t accede to change.

If there is one reason for why “The Old Guard” is a fucking absolutely shitty title, is that it refers to people who refuse to accept new ideas and progress. We are in a fandom that has four canonically queer characters, three people of color, and two female leads! Maybe the irony is intentional but damn, why is it that Andy, PROTAGONIST #1, hasn’t completely caught up with the program?

And that brings me to why I think Andy’s reckoning will not be on the same level as Nicky’s. Because as popular as Kaysanova is, neither Nicky or Joe are the main protagonists of TOG.

We don’t follow Nicky or Joe (or Booker) into scenes. The men are strictly back-at-the-ranch, supporting characters. We follow Andy or Nile (who also have the most screen time, I believe, but fact-check me). Filmically speaking, we ought to value them with a measure of precedence. Their words and actions matter the most, especially Andy’s by nature of how everyone looks to her for guidance.

So, with all that in mind: How does one reconcile a beloved protagonist with a despicable past in slavery, of all things? In the wake of an international racial reckoning, how is a celebrated, white South African actress going to fulfill that role? How is production going to balance fantasy with reality? How are Rucka and other involved writers (Theron, Prince-Bythewood?) going to alter the original IP, while retaining the nuance of this moral quandry?

Forgive me for the overkill but: How is it going to happen?

I’m well aware that my thoughts are going down a rabbit hole, and I am definitely overthinking this, but as somebody who’s genuinely curious about whether Victoria Mahoney and the rest of the TOG crew will have the guts to confront the issue head-on, or if they’ll take the easy way out. Excise the bits that no one wants to talk about, much less watch in a feel-good film that TOG has become for many fans.

Whatever production ends up doing, I hope that 2O2G doesn’t end on a cliffhanging “pity Andromache” note because, damn, I’m gonna feel real uncomfortable scrolling through fandom posts, reading people defending slavery and giving the same “the past is a foreign country; they do things differently there” spiel, in order to protect a fictional character played by a conventionally-attractive cis heterosexual white woman.

(Also: If the past is so different from the present, why are there still calls for social justice? Why do ALL industries still lack diverse and equitable representation?)

Now, this is where I’ll go back to the original question and say: While I think Nicky functions well as an example for change/growth/redemption, I don’t think his change serves as a good comparison to Andy’s. I say this, even while I’m aware of double standards in gender, and even between the reception of gay characters vs lesbian characters vs etc. (re: I’m open to critique).

My line of thought stems from the fact that, canonically, Nicky always had Joe. The two have seemingly been inseparable from the moment they first killed each other. It’s likely that Joe would check Nicky whenever he said or did something wrong and offensive, and perhaps this symbiosis was mutual.

(I also have a feeling that many people easily disregarded the Christian/Muslim conflict because A) lack of knowledge in BOTH religions and B) the onscreen couple appear very much in love, especially when one is giving a beautiful monologue on the nature of their relationship. When we meet Joe and Nicky, we meet them at their best. Shout-out to interfaith couples who know more about this than my single (and secular) ass does, and might have more to say about this.)

On the other hand: Andy never had someone who was like how Joe was for Nicky. No one ever calls out Andy because A) she’s the oldest, B) she’s the lead, and C) her business card says ANDROMACHE OF SCYTHIA, WAR GOD. Yeah, she had Quynh/Noriko but— at the risk of yelling at Rucka for vilifying a queer woman of color (or praising him for not leaning on the stereotype of Asian passivity? idk, anyone got thoughts on this?)— Noriko is clearly not encouraging good behavior. Neither will Quynh if Netflix lets 2O2G be as faithful to the comics as TOG1 was.

Which means the Law 282 conversation might be…unavoidable? Somewhere along the line, we still end up in the hotel room with Andy, on the floor, pleading for her crew to not abandon her, even though she is the one who abandoned their cause.

This sets up a circumstance in which Fade Away might be spent trying to redeem Andy/Charlize Theron, bring her back to the “good side,” teaching her to be better— thereby highlighting her experience and “salvation,” rather than making a point of her past, and the reality of her actions. In other words, a “pity the white woman” fest.

(Because I’m crossing my fingers that TOG production/Netflix know better) In an effort to prevent that from happening, I wonder if Rucka will combine Force Multiplied with Fade Away for the 2O2G script. Given the series’ track record, I think it is feasible that FA’s release coincides with 2O2G’s, and that it finally resolves Andy. Whether by revitalizing her energy as a do-some-gooder, or finalizing her vulnerability by putting her 6,000 years to rest, thus handing off the reigns to Nile and a new generation of leadership.

The last thing I want to leave off with is: I don’t hate Andy. It’s a credit to Rucka and fellow writers (from film and fandom) that I don’t.

I might not love her character as enthusiastically as I used to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not amazed by her creation. She’s a female lead whose sexuality is not exploited by the male gaze; whose emotional vulnerability is not considered a hindrance to, nor an explanation for, her battle prowess; and whose unabashed queerness is not reinforced by cookie cutter stereotypes. Andromache the Scythian is AMAZING.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to excuse or ignore her most glaring and contemptible flaw. More than anything, I’d love to sweep her past under the carpet so that 2O2G can be problem-free. Like many people, I just want to enjoy a movie without getting triggered.

I want to see Quynh and Andy kiss and make up. I want to see Joe rocking Those Shorts, and a cheeky shot of Nicky appreciating his ass. I want to see Nile welcoming Booker back to the family again. Some form of group therapy would be chef’s kiss.

But something about glossing over/removing slavery from Andy’s narrative reeks of dishonesty, and reminds me that the (Hollywood) movie industry is full of people who do not want to be tainted with negative perceptions. Understandably, appearances are their livelihood— but that particular truth is something they still have to reckon with.