#and honestly just realizing they both suck at it and they're just voids of people in the pandora hearts way

[archivalofsins]

Honestly, a person can give someone else infinite chances, but it won't mean anything if they're unwilling to take a chance on themselves. Some people are too cowardly to try even if they want to, even if you leave a door open for them, invite them to have a dialogue, or forgive them for the harm they caused.

After a certain point, it's not a matter of effort on your part.

I think it's really important to remember that some people genuinely hate themselves. So, those sorts of people don't trick others into hating themselves as well.

What I'm saying is sometimes, instead of saying, "It's not you, it's me."

At a point, it's much healthier to go,

"It's not me it's you. It doesn't always have to be you. However, in this situation, it was. I have no energy to spare the feelings of someone who wouldn't even take a second to consider mine. Certainly, you won't be a bad person every day, but in my eyes, you definitely were one today."

Then move on because no amount of affection, time, and energy you put into another person will change how they feel about themselves. At worst, they'll just start projecting that hate onto you. There's no secret amount of positive words from the outside that can negate self-hate. There's no amount of paint that can stop the wood from rotting.

[captainimfangirling]

Ok I said I didn't ship Beeltejuice and Lydia but now I kinda do after watching Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Yes she wasn't interested in him romantically but I don't give a f*ck. I don't need a mortal compass to ship fictional characters and I've always shipped villains x heroes. I guess never shipped them in the first movie because I was a kid when I first saw it plus they're both adults in the second movie so what the f*ck. I don't see this any different from shipping a vampire and a human.

Warning: Major spoilers (my long ass review)

My disappointment with this movie is that there were too many plots going on, too many potholes they glossed over, and it felt very rushed. In the first movie I feel like it all came together but this one didn't. I'm also disappointed Beeltejuice and Lydia didn't work together when saving Astrid but I guess they wanted her to have a father/mother/daughter moment.

Astrid & Jeremony

I was fully expecting to hate Astrid but I liked her. She's very stuck up in the beginning but changes later on. She loves her mother but thought she was scam artist but she had good reasons. Hated it when she pointed out that Beetlejuice's contract was void and I was like girl shut the fuck up but at the same time I don't blame her for trying to save her mama from Beeltejuice. Her crush on Jeremy was good and I liked that story line (AHS Murder House vibe) but again it was too rushed. I loved the fact that Beetlejuice stopped him before he can get his card stamped.

Delia & Charles

I enjoyed Delia a lot. She was so much fun and totally would've acted that way if Charles died. I'm glad they didn't just forget about the character Charles because the actor is a disgusting pedo. The character should be separated from the actor. It was pretty clever how they went about it to honor the character and not the asshole. Tim Burton has a lot of balls for that.

Delores & Rory

I loved Delores' introduction but that's it. All she did was look for Beetlejuice and suck souls. Also her story line was way too quick. I was fully expecting to ship her and Beetlejuice but nope. Rory was a good villain but his story line also felt very rushed. It's interesting how Beeltejuice's former wife and Lydia's former fiance died together at their wedding....it's totally not baiting Lydia and Beeltejuice shippers (sarcasm).

Lydia

I loved Lydia too and I can totally see her being easily manipulated but why Rory? At least in the first movie she had a great reason to accept Beetlejuice's offer. Also I feel like Lydia wasn't weird enough and I get it people grow up but still she didn't feel like the same Lydia. I like that she was a supernatural TV host/ghost hunter but I feel like Winona is right that Lydia would been a spinster in the attic. It's funny to me how Lydia mentioned their 600 year age gap but I bet the weird Lydia from the first movie totally would've married a vampire or a zombie.

Beeltejuice

I loved Beeltejuice but he wasn't the star of the show like he was in the last movie. I honestly think he wants to marry Lydia instead of finding someone else to marry because he fell for her over the years but she also got away from their agreement (but then again he didn't seem mad about it). I was hoping Lydia would realize Beetlejuice actually likes her and be grossed out by it. Also there's the fact that he wasn't as pervy like he was in the first movie. I mean he looked at Delia up and down but it's not very bad compared to what he did in the first movie. The Maitlands influenced Beeltejuice because he did a musical number instead of quickly marrying Lydia like he tried to do in the first movie. If he wasn't f*cking around he would've gotten his bride. Maybe he was a bit too confident because this time he had a contract which he was very smart for doing. Did anyone notice he kissed Lydia's hand? I didn't expect that from Beetlejuice. I thought was gonna forcefully kiss her like he did to Barbra but no he was dare I say a gentlemen. Not only did he save Astrid but he exposed Rory to Lydia and he didn't even have to do that because he already had his marriage contract. I'm surprised they didn't try to de-age Michael Keaton in the flashback and it would totally make sense because Beeltejuice did look younger in the first movie but I guess they didn't wanna use too much CGI.

Bob

I loved Bob. He was very funny so I was very sad when Delores killed him. Not sure if he was the same shrunken head from the first movie but I personally don't think he is. He looks too different. Would be funny if all the shrunken heads were the football players.

Potholes & The Maitlands

I hate that they didn't talk about how people who committed suicide become civil servants like it was said in the first movie. They basically erased it because Astrid's dad is working in the Netherworld when he died in the Amazon and Beetlejuice was murdered. The only clue was in the newspaper that I pointed out days ago how workers were wrongfully assigned a suicide and the case workers are on strike. I think that would've been a more interesting story line for Beetlejuice. It would explain why he wants out so badly but I guess Burton didn't want us to feel sympathy for him or make him too deep. What was the damn loophole the Maitlands had? I hate that they didn't even try to explain. I think it would've been sweet if it was Lydia who helped them find a loophole so they can move on after she moved out of the house. Like a parting gift to her parents.

Wolf Jackson

The Wolf Jackson character wasn't all that interesting. To make him more interesting I think it would've been cool if Astrid was a fan of his movies. I think he started working in the afterlife because of the strike so they took whoever they can get even if it's an actor.

The Baby

Also that Baby Beeltejuice was so weird! I loved it! When Lyis Belly started growing I was like holy sh*t is he trying to hint that he wants her to have his babies?! lmao I don't remember the movie being this bloody! The ending was confusing at first but clever because it's basically saying he hasn't given up on Lydia and will continue to haunt her until she's his bride. Also why can't Lydia have her show and still be part of her daughter's life? I hate that she gave it up. I think it would've been nicer if Astrid started working with her. Like a mother daughter ghost show since Astrid can see ghosts too.

Well that's my review. I hope I didn't complain too much because I actually did enjoy the movie. I want to be positive but I always end up writing something to complain about.

[sageandred]

The way Shameless fans have always argued in favor of their faves and against their least favorite characters to be worse than them is so funny. You can't judge Shameless characters too hard on a moral basis. You just can't. The show is called: Shameless.

°

Mandy- tried to s.a. multiple times, but grew up with learned behavior around an abusive dad who s.a.'d her himself (she walks around with no pants for god's sake; that's sad because she doesn't even realize it's not normal); oh and almost forgot - ran over Karen, but had history of repressed anger problems, learned fight not flight retaliation responses, and jealousy after repeatedly being treated bad (and not just by Karen)

Fiona- made 10000+ mistakes, including almost killing her brother, but never had a childhood and was forced into parenting while never learning how to parent in the first place

Lip- #1 screw up for his own life (I guess it's his life, you can't blame him), because he hates himself and is self destructive also due to his upbringing; was angry and rude more times than I can count to Fiona, but he is angry due to his exact same feelings towards his (non) childhood

Ian- what did Ian even do...? cheat on anyone but Mickey? (edit: dang he did that too - but it doesn't count) ...be too serious for seasons 6-9?? (< jk, i love him; that's taken from real critiques.) be transphobic? (I hate, but it's valid he's uneducated - my memory is bad i don't even think he was transphobic just clueless on some things)

Carl- be the worst runner when trying to escape cops? a messed up child taxidermist?

Debbie- We can hate Debbie, jk! I do wish her storyline unfolded better, because it totally makes sense the need to grow up too fast and try to emulate Fiona (that's all I'll give her 'cause I understand, but I'm not trying to write an essay on my complicated feelings on how they could've portrayed Debbie's character arc better)

Recognize their shameless flaws. And have your faves, I agree. But to compare them and be on your moral high ground about why fans should recognize more individual actions as bad is void at the start of the argument.

Because Monica VS Frank - They both suck as much as I can recognize they both are sad, vulnerable, childlike lost causes at the core. But people always argue Monica is worse. Why, because she left? Honestly, good she spared them as opposed to mooched off and sat around doing nothing. Frank is funny (which I think is the only reason people like him more), but they're both the same level of shitty parents. WHICH IS THE POINT...to understand the kid/y.a. characters' bad trauma responses

°

"I think we as a society, should acknowledge how [blank] shouldn't be praised." That's like saying: "the Joker is villianous, guys did you know??" like why am I getting recommended arguments for why certain characters suck more?! In the year 2024, for god's sake?!?

Terry Milkovich, tho, is GOD AWFUL; hate on him all you want. x

[kozykricket]

havent been very active on tumblr, for no reason in particular. anyways, as a risk of rain fan, i must clarify my opinions on the SOTS release

i think we can all agree on "the dlc is great content"

but anyways, its clear to me that the devs are people who care and are passionate about ROR as a series and about keeping ror2 going as well. i mean, hopoo and ghor have said as much! and their community manager seems nice i really dont blame the actual DLC team, because like. its always rude to just point fingers at the people who are just doin' darn good work. point fingers at the executive decision makers i think uh, the unification of console and pc code is... well, ill miss the old codebase, but honestly? the fact they've rewritten the games code from the ground up basically... tells me that they're in it for the long-ish haul. that they dont want to just drop ror2. they want to make their own basis that they can cleanly work on and continue this game into its second life of sorts i guess its like a soft reset of development - everythings jank like early access now. but itll get better is the current ror team the best at making decisions for the game? maybe not, but i really dont think they're malicious

its funny though, because the 2 things i was worried about was "oh gearbox is totally gonna mess up the lore with weird inconsistencies and it wont feel right, and they'll add powercreep" but honestly. imma be real, knowing some stuff ghor has said about his intentions behind the lore (shoutouts to Ghor btw, hes done so much for both the lore and the... well, the creation and foundation of risk of rain 2s codebase as a whole. the more i look into ghor, the more i realize he truly is mr ror2) anyways knowing his intentions with certain things, i can say... the Anniversary Update and SOTV actually messed up lore more than SOTS has, lol. the lores well done in SOTV. the non-lore-important logs kinda suck though, they're clearly unfinished. but i think... what they lacked was Time. Time, to complete the clean unification of code ... and for general polish. so i say we give them what randy pitchfork didnt. lets give them time, aight? im not super happy with the idea of a ror2: bedrock edition future, but... i think if the right balancing tweaks are done, then things can look pretty bright. and they do seem to want to listen to the community (though i doubt randy pitchfork wants them to. heck CEOs)

and as for powercreep? lmao we got the opposite, the items are almost too underpowered.

AS for the dlc content, i think seeker is goated. really fun character to play. chef is... undercooked tbh, jank m1. still havent gotten the third survivor, though i know who it is, and seems pretty well done minus the lack of visual and audio feedback / game-feel i think the stages are fantastic, the music is as always banger, and honestly the items are like. really CLOSE to being interesting. like noxious thorn? a green item that plays with debuffs? very cool. but why is it "on taking damage" and. i dunno, instead of adding more stacks of debuffs, i'd make it spread those debuffs to more enemies! knockback fin should be turned into a void of stun grenade if you have both DLCs on, tbh. so yeah, im. cautiously optimistic for the future. dont fall for all of the doomerisms that the youtubers are trying to spread - they're doing that to apply pressure to gearbox, mostly. which is fair, but its also fearmongering kinda. and like actual devs dont seem too concerned for the games future im just hoping that everyone who has been involved with ror2... has a good future. i dont want gearbox to just cut off the ror2 team, and i hope ghor can find whatever he needs

[isa-ghost]

hey it's the anon who asked what dr*m did,

I decided to do my own research (mainly cause I was curious) but... I can't find much? let me rephrase it - I did find the allegations from 6ish months ago, that he's going to court with one(?) of them, but that's... all? I didn't find the court's verdict, confirmations, or him admitting either... and any post or video I find has both the OP and the comments mostly on his side and believing that it's either not true or true but not grooming, even people who say they're not his fans or don't even like him.

so Im not sure if the confirmation didn't reach youtube or if I'm searching wrong or something?

but honestly while researching I realized that I cant stand him lmao, gotta agree with some comments I read - he made a mistake by showing more of his personality online, looks like any time he can handle a situation wrong/respond wrong he does it

so dunno, guess I didnt find the confirmation but at least now I don't find his old minecraft videos interesting anymore so theres that

Yeah he can't act properly to save his fucking life

Also I think most of the threads on Twitter and stuff that have all the proof he's guilty/etc is probably long buried, unfortunately. You could probably try to ask around saying you're trying to get the whole picture but tbh it's not a huge deal if you can't. You can try searching my blog but Tumblr sucks with that shit. The fact that this and his other controversies have been buried and lost to the void of the internet is typical white boy with a monstrously big platform shit so I'm not surprised. I never heard any details about court (prob for legal reasons) or a conviction either. All I know is there was screenshot proof from the victim that they talked, and Dr*m confirmed the screenshots were real but didn't say anything about other details. But those details literally can't be false if the screenshots & the shit said in them are true.

Anyway, as far as his other bullshit goes:

People found old kkk meme edits on his yt account through the wayback machine. More than once if I'm not mistaken

He has a history of defending himself using the r slur

He cheated "on accident" in a speedrun (the least important thing ever but everyone always brings it up)

He claimed he was going to donate all proceeds during pride month to lgbt+ charities & he'd do charity streams all month but never did

He defended himself about replying to haters, which would send thousands of his toxic stans after the person getting them doxxed/death threats/etc and he refused to address that it was irresponsible of him bc he was too entitled to immaturely clap back at the antis. Even other ccs, like B/itzel called him out about shit related to how he uses his platform irresponsibly & he unfollowed & shaded them like a bitch baby

The whole "accidental" copycat shit with QSMP/USMP and basically softcore stalking Q/uackity online.

His "apologies" for all of the above fucking sucked in multiple ways. And that's just 2021-Now shit I can remember off the top of my head, I lost my Twitter in May last year so now I get my info from people's posts about it on here or links to tweets.

Everyone largely suspects he spontaneously reignited d/smp lore & started the finale to cover up the groomer thing bc he has a history of doing smth "new and cool" every time he causes drama to divert attention and avoid accountability.

He's also suspected of suddenly rewriting the d/smp finale to paint his Irredeemable Abuser Villain Up Until The Last Stream as a sympathetic poor baby out of nowhere and wrote that his victim, c!Tommy apologized to him, which sends a HORRIBLE message about abusive relationships. T/ommy and T/ubbo have both subtly mentioned not liking the finale and that Dr*m had AWFUL communication during the last like 6+ months of the smp.

He also suddenly showed up in T/ubbo's chat lurking while T/ubbo happened to be mentioning he'd do his own research on the grooming situation instead of blindly siding with Dr*m and it was some shit out of a horror movie is2g, he suddenly dmed T/ubbo out of nowhere during it on discord saying they'd talk about it after T/ubbo wasn't streaming. Basically sounds like he was gonna bias T/ubbo about his innocence. Like he hadn't been in chat all stream long but SUDDENLY he was there the second the topic came up. But the d/smp ccs also can't say anything about the situation since it's a legal matter, so a handful of ccs have just stated/implied they don't support him other ways

He only quit MCC bc he threw a tantrum about how he couldn't practice for it but now that MCC island exists, people were getting better than him. He's habitually a sore loser about that kinda shit

He's got that whole weird "is he, isn't he" bullshit going on about him being lgbt. I personally think he's just catering to his stupid d/n/f shippers bc they like to truth their relationship & sexuality all the time and he's never explicitly said he's bi or smth. He's just vaguely been like "yeeeaahhhh I mostly like girls like 99% but maaaayyybeee I like guys idkkkk. 🤪" But he's also done that multiple times so who tf knows. I'm not gonna fully dismiss him & I understand no one including me is entitled to his specific sexuality, but he has garbage credibility on like everything so I'm neutral on the matter and find it hard to believe him

Not directly him related, but his stans went on a long and horrifying witch hunt on Twitter during the kkk ordeal doxxing, death threatening & harassing ENTIRE mcyt subtwts who spoke out against him and called him out on his racism, performative activism, shitty apology, etc. For example, I was part of S/neeg's subtwt and all my mutuals and me had to go private to avoid getting doxxed. It felt like being raided in some dystopian ass horror film. Entire subtwts were going private, panicking, paranoid they'd get outed & stalked & harassed by people just for condemning racism, raising Black voices, etc. It was borderline traumatic to some people, I know people who lost sleep over it bc they were so afraid.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head but the end of 2021 to early 2022 was a fucking nightmare between him being an immature entitled piece of shit and his stans blindly defending him and going out of their way to endanger people who rightfully opposed him.

[xx-cringe-factory-xx]

Hi! Its the DoH anon again!! And sick! thanks for the cool tag. recently (literally just tonight), i *may* have opened up to me being also a "prince of time" (i still have my qualms but honestly its a pretty cool classpect and somewhat fits, so am not complaining). so one of my other combined classpects could be the Overlord of Paradox (Prince of time + Page of Space). Can you analyse this one, please? Thank you as always! - DoH anon (who turns out to... not be so DoH, apparently) 🌌☀️⌛

LETS GO WE BOTH PARTIALLY PRINCES (im theif +prince also THEY'RE THE OPPOSITE ASPECTSLIKE ME (light+void) so cool) vmdsfsddv (also yeah so real and valid to realize you're different from what you originally thought you were)

------------Overlord of Paradox------------

one who is serves an aspect through destroying an aspect or destroys an aspect through serving an aspect

you litterally have the aspects/classes of some of the characters that are either loved or absolutely hated on in homestuck (dirk, Tavros, jake, jade, Dave, kanaya as ell as some others TwT)

woah sooo you have both of the big important aspects. time and space. like they litterally couldn't have a session with out you if they didn't have any other time of space players.so you likely have a lot of pressure put on you. which could obviously might push you to make quick decisions without having the time to put in enough thought which tbh makes sense for a prince.

a scheming page can get as bad as a thief if they have the wrong motives. you may feel isolated at times cause of you're space aspect and your prince class may make it feel like you're the only one who really sees the bigger picture. which honestly others probably struggle to understand why you do what you do. I recommend that you take a minute to evaluate you're possibilities and options before acting, but I do understand if that can be difficult sometimes.

pages tend to be really hopeful and want the best thing without fully understanding how to get their. but like with Tavros, you can get to that point if you work extra hard for it. be careful not to get stuck only focusing on bigger pictures and stuff. being a time player you'll try to get one step ahead and prolly fumble a bit. you'll believe other's will be against you in some way. you'll try to avoid getting attached to people and things. which you are prolly really good at.

also one thing princes and pages have in common is that they think they have to be better or at least something they aren't. and while pages are Great at keeping up that act princes are not. seeing you're a page of time you'll be great at pretending and avoiding getting attached and getting people to keep up with THEM instead of slowing down for others even if the NEED to slow down for their own mental/physical health. but seeing your a prince of space you might really try and expect people to not like you or to not understand you, but chances are they at the very least partially understand.

an overlord of paradox's powers would prolly be a bit simple but they could be VERY powerful if used right. things like the ability to teleport, make portals (or like some kind black hole type thingy basically it suck in things that get too close ig?) as well as the ability to slow or speed up time for specific people. maybe even be able to create whole new timelines or jump between them.

weapons are pretty simple, but prolly requiring a lot of skill though. Blades lots of Blades. doesn't even matter what size or kind. could be a javelin, a katana, a knife. as long as it has a sharp edge to it.

:3

[operationhoshinokaabii]

Sometimes I just want to make like a review of the Kirby anime but then realize it'd basically be impossible for me to be objective because I think the reason why I'm so attached to Kirby and Dedede is because they pretty much have a sibling dynamic (Kumazaki called Dedede "the older brother of the group" and honestly he and Kirby just act like siblings kdkdmdm) and I rarely get to see my older brothers anymore (I mean I'm a young teen and they're both in their 20s) and nowadays can't even guarantee I'll see them during the holidays. so Kirby and Dedede kinda just fill the void for me. so I feel kinda bitter at the show for not having that sjdndnsnnddm (no disrespect to people who like anime dedede I just have too much bias to look at him without taking the games into account. I'm just like "noooo my comfort characters :(((" I guess)

I think the point of a review is to be subjective, haha

That sucks about your bros though, I hope you guys can see each other more in the future. I've grown apart from my two brothers over the years too which sucks, but we still care about each other. As you get older it'll be easier for you guys to all relate and find common ground.

And counterpoint- what about the sibling relationships between Fumu, Kirby, and Bun? I might be biased, but as a big sister myself I think Fumu does a pretty good job lol. (She's my personal comfort character in a way, so I can imagine being upset if there was another version that made her inexplicably mean.)

But you still have the novels and different manga series that can show Kirby and Dedede with a closer relationship?

And there's also the classic fan option- do a fix-it fic! Write what YOU want to see. You don't even have to post it if you aren't confident with it, but it can be fun just to do for yourself.

[forged-through-trials]

The following day, we hit up Mach-Na again, as she seemed to be a great source of info about Cheydinhal. Irritable, sure, but informative. Mach-Na: "Are you actually going to buy something, today?" Trials: "No, no... we're just curious about what the words is around town." Mach-Na: "Ugh... I need to start charging for gossip! "Well, have you heard of Rythe Lythandas?" Trials: "'Right Left-Hand-Us'?" Mach-Na: "...close enough. "He's possibly the greatest painter in all of Cyrodiil." Trials: "When I get a house, I'll be sure to give him a call." Mach-Na: "...no, not that kind of painter. He does landscapes. "Sadly, he's gone missing. His wife, Tivela, is beside herself with grief." Trials: "I'd ask why the town guard aren't looking for him, but after my last job, I know exactly why they haven't. Chances are Ulrich never thought to fine people for going missing." Mach-Na gave us some directions, so we legged it over toward the Lythandas home. It was decidedly large and posh, as one might expect from a career-artist. The door was unlocked, so Ruin and I let ourselves in, announcing our entrance to the lady of the house. Trials: "Greetings. I'm Forged-Through-Trials, and this is my associate, Ruined-Tail." Ruin: "Greetings, madam." Tivela: "...well, apologies, strangers-who-barged-into-my-home, but may I ask you a favor? "It seems my husband, Rythe, has gone missing, and I just don't know what to do." Ruin: "I... question the reasoning of asking two strangers who waltz into your home uninvited for help in this matter." Trials: "Well, who else is she gonna ask? The town-guard who will fine her for disturbing their nap?" Ruin: "...point taken." Trials: "Anyway, Ms. Tea-f'er-ya Lift-And-Bust--" Tivela: "...close enough." Trials: "--we actually stopped by because we'd heard he was missing. I'm something of a traveling mystery-solver, and happy to put my skills to the case!" Tivela: "I thank you for your kind offer, madam. "Yes, Rythe likes to work in his studio with the door locked, so no one can disturb him. He usually comes out to eat dinner and sleep, but two days ago, he didn't come out at all. When he hadn't left his studio for a whole day, I used to key he gave me for emergencies to open the door... and he was completely gone! "I'm sure he never left that room. So I have no idea where he's gone. Please, help me find Rythe. I love him dearly, and I am so worried!" Trials: "Oooh, a Locked Door Mystery. Never had one of those, before. "But worry not, ma'am. I'm on the case!" Tivela offered me the key to Rythe's studio, bidding that I hurry to find her husband. Accepting the key, I turned toward the studio, unlatching the door and stepping inside.

Huh, so this is where the "magic" happens? Where Rythe does all of his work that has made him famous across Cyrodiil? Seems a little cramped, to me, but those paintings leaning against the wall spoke to his talent and ability. The narrow setting sure didn't hamper him any. I took a little look around. Nothing jumped out at me right away as being any kind of evidence. There were just a bunch of art supplies laying around, and not even so much as a sign of a struggle. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something. I looked to find that painting sitting on the easel. Ruin was occupied consoling Tivela, so I stepped into the room to investigate, and thought that I had seen the face of that painting ripple as if it were the surface of a pond. I stepped up, and drew even closer still, reaching a hand out to touch the face of that painting, and...

Well, let's a-go! After the strange, white void, my eyes cleared to reveal a foresty meadow. Though something was very... off about this place. From the way the ground felt, to the look of the rocks, the trees, the leaves... leaves? Those aren't even leaves! They're painted on! Where the heck was I? This place was like something out of one of my Akaviri Picture-Books! It was about then that I noticed I was alone. Ruin hadn't followed me in. Maybe he hadn't seen me get sucked into the painting, and was right now wondering what had become of me. I wasn't alone for long, though. As I was still trying to acclimate to the bizarre landscape, a fairly dressed Dark Elf approached me.

Rythe: "Where did you come from? You look real enough. You must be from the outside! Oh, thank goodness someone finally came!" Trials: "Whoa, are you Ripe Lasagna?" Rythe: "...close enough. "While I'm overjoyed to see a friendly face, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you." Trials: "Salmo the Baker is discontinuing his famous Sweet Rolls?" Rythe: "...okay, maybe not that bad. "No, we're stuck here. Sorry to break it to you like that, but if it wasn't for that annoying thief, we wouldn't be in this predicament!" Trials: "IDidn'tDoEet!" Rythe: "What? No, not you! It was a different thief. "I was in my studio, when a Bosmer wearing dark clothing accosted me. Before I could call for help, he knocked me unconscious." Trials: "Very rude of him." Rythe: "How do you think I feel? "When I came to, I found that the door to my studio was still locked, and that the thief had snatched my paintbrush. That's when I saw it." Trials: "You mean the void of white with the hollow star-shape in it?" Rythe: "No, that came later. What I saw was something on the canvas of my painting that I hadn't put there. It looked somewhat like a troll, but it was badly done. Then it hit me!" Trials: "The Bosmer again?" Rythe: "No, it was the realization that the Bosmer must have leapt into the painting, then painted guardians inside to protect himself using the Brush of Truepaint!" Trials: "Whoa, slowdown. What the heck is the 'Brush of Truepaint'?" Rythe: "I knew the secret of my success would be revealed one day. I can tell you all about the Brush, if you like." Rythe regaled me with the tale; in the war of 3E 396, his father was a soldier who was injured when an errant fireball exploded near him, costing him the use of both arms. A painter before being conscripted into the war, it seemed his career was over. But he prayed night and day to the Divine Dibella for some way to express his artistic side once more. And I guess because Dibella is not the goddess of growing new arms, instead she gave him a paintbrush woven from her own hair. The magic of the Brush allows the painter to step inside of a canvas to paint objects to life size. Though 'paint' is not quite accurate, since all the user has to do is think about what they want, and it will appear. The Brush of Truepaint was then passed down to Rythe from his father, and is the source of Rythe's talent and fame. Trials: Deadpan. "Oh. So you're a phony." Rythe: "...I mean, yes, but you shouldn't say it like that." Trials: "Oh well. Truth be told, I've been all Fake It 'Til I Make It since I first arrived in Cyrodiil." Rythe: "...faking it?" Trials: "Oh, yes. I'm an alcoholic ex-slave who gets by mostly by the fact that I'm harder to kill than I look. I honestly can't believe people keep giving me jobs. Or that I keep pulling wins outta my butt." Rythe: His face paled. "Oooohh that doesn't inspire confidence." Trials: "About as much confidence as I have in your art-skills." Rythe: "Right. Any port in a storm, eh? "We need to get the Brush back, which means you're going to have to get past the thief's Painted Trolls. I cannot do it. I am not a warrior." Trials: "What about the thief himself? Anything I need to worry about with him?" Rythe: "Thankfully, that problem solved itself. I heard him scream not long after I arrived. The trolls that the thief painted seemed to have turned on their creator and killed him. He didn't know the Brush had its risks." Trials: "Well, sucks to be him." Rythe: "The creatures now roam loose all over the forest and in the clearing where I was still working. The Brush is on the body of the Bosmer Thief, there. "Here, take these bottles of turpentine. They may help." Trials: "...unless we're making gut-rotting moonshine, I don't see how. But thanks, I guess."

On second thought, everything here is made of paint, right? So maybe this turpentine could be useful after all! I could... pour some on the rocks to melt them... nah, no, what would I do with melted rocks? I guess the best alternative would be to pour this stuff on my weapons to give them a little extra bite against the trolls.

I dipped my arrows in the turpentine, and upon spotting one of the trolls, let the poisoned arrow fly. It worked like a charm, and the Troll went down in one shot. Guess I owe Rythe an apology. The rest of the trolls went down in similar fashion. That turpentine went a long, long way... meaning it would probably make some really powerful moonshine if I can save any.

A hop and skip through the painted forest later, and I'd found the 'clearing' Rythe spoke of. It wasn't so much a 'clearing' as it was a space that looked unfinished. It was quite strange to look at, and even stranger to walk on. The texture of the place was not unlike one might imagine from a canvas. Once the last Troll was downed, I was able to advance onto the corpse of the Wood Elf thief. It only took a little bit of rifling through his pockets to retrieve the Brush. I took a minute to admire it; it looked so much like an ordinary paintbrush, but it apparently was some kind of amazing, enchanted Aedric Artifact. What're the odds that I would run into something like this? Well, now to get it back to Rythe. A short walk through the painted forest later, and I'd returned, Brush in hand, and quickly handed it off to the artist. Rythe: "You have the Brush? Excellent work, my friend." Trials: "Told ya I'd pull a win outta muh butt!" Rythe: "Certainly glad your bottom had at least one last 'win' to give. Now, I will paint the portal back home. Once it appears, you should go through first. Or you might be stuck in here forever." Trials: "Wait, before ya do, can you... paint me a meat-pie?" Rythe: "I can, but it would taste like paint." Trials: "Aww, lame!"

Rythe took the Brush and stepped a few paces away, drawing both the Brush and a pallet... for some reason. He already told me he doesn't actually need to wave the Brush around to make it work. I think he just felt like showing off. Whatever the case, after a few moments of waving the brush at empty air like a showy moppet, a window appeared, floating in the air. It looked like a painting of Rythe's studio. Once done, Rythe stepped to one side, and allowed me to pass first, and I quickly did so. I emerged from the painting back into Rythe's studio, right in front of a very shocked Ruined-Tail. Ruin: "Trials! Where have you been? I turned my back for one minute and you just vanished!" Trials: I grinned with cheek. "What're you talking about, Ruin? I never left this room!" Ruin: "..." He rolled his eyes. "You've got a weird story to tell me, don't you? Or you've been drinking again. Wait, that's it; you snuck off to drink didn't you?" Trials: I pouted. "Ruin! I'd never do that while on the job!"

Before I could explain myself to Ruin, Rythe rushed forward to meet his wife, the happy couple holding a just as happy reunion. Tivela: "Rythe! Oh, my love! You are home safe... I was so afraid." Rythe: "If it wasn't for my friend, here, you'd be right." Tivela: "This is wonderful! Now we won't miss my mother's birthday." Rythe: Deadpan. "Oh... goodie." He tried to force a smile, and turned to me. "Well, my mother-in-law not withstanding, I don't know how to thank you. You have a good heart to help get me back home. I'll never forget what you've done for me." Trials: "Hey, no problemo, my dude." Rythe: "If I may ask one last favor; please keep the Brush's existence a secret. If word gets around that I have it, I'm afraid more than a lone cut-purse will visit me." Trials: "Sure, my lips are sealed. Barring some extreme situation, like, say, if I find myself in a predicament where I desperately need an Aedric Artifact to help save the world, or something." Rythe and I shared a hearty laugh at that quip. Surely, nothing like that could ever possibly happen to little ol' me, after all!

Rythe gave me an apron as a token of his appreciation. Not the flashiest of gifts, but a fine reminder of my contribution to the arts. Also it's enchanted and thus, very valuable, so that's pretty nice! And thus I closed another case. The missing artist has been returned safely to his home and his loving wife, and Cheydinhal is richer for the adventure. I've probably tapped all of the info I can get out of Mach-Na, but I'd say chances are good the Fighters and Mages Guilds might have some work for me. And once those are out of the way, I still have the Thieves Guild job, and the Castle Vault, to hit, before I blow this town and hit the road once more.