#and honestly how does it feel to have the funniest son alive

[donutdrawsthings]

So I went on a mountain hike with my family...

[mikuni14]

Twins - Ep 7

I tried to write some sensible commentary on this episode, but no sensible words come to mind 🤡

I love this series, I love how chaotic it is, how for 6 episodes nothing happens in terms of romance, but there are random, sudden scenes of the second couple making out hotly - a couple which is barely shown and if you don't watch carefully, you can even miss them. And how the main couple catches up with all the previous episodes in terms of their romance in one episode 😀😂👌

MY EVERLASITNG LOVE IS SPRITE, MY BELOVED PRECIOUS BOY, THE BEST HIMBO BOY THAT HAS EVER HIMBED. Sprite has no filter, he is very dumb, but at the same time he has the surprising wisdom of the ancient gods. He doesn't see how he's being treated badly (DON'T WORRY BABY, I SEE IT, I'M NOTING IT IN DETAIL, AND I'M HOLDING MY GRUDGES FOREVER), but he always sees when others need his help. Sprite's game is at a level impossible for mere mortals to achieve. He has First where he wants, he does with him what he wants, how he wants, when he wants. First didn't even notice how his entire existence is now in Sprite's hand (the other hand, not the one holding the garbage bag). First's mood depends on Sprite, what he will do, what he will tell him, how he will behave. First, the "perfect grumpy dude", in the presence of Sprite turns into a pathetic, sad, sulking jealous babygirl, who is 🥺 because Sprite gives him ONLY 96.78% of his attention and who is 🥰 because Sprite says that he is his special, most important boy…. I AM IN AWE, that's my son! And the funniest thing is that Sprite doesn't do it consciously, he is SINCERELY devastated that he is not on the same team as First, he honestly runs after him with the most 🥺🥰🥳🤡😇🤩😋😊 face in the world, he sincerely wants to be with him and take care of him. Putting aside everything that happens in The Sign, the shoe-tying scene is my third favorite, hottest scene of the year. And that is the perfection that is Twins. They have no shame or objections at all to just... randomly throw a scene that makes me wonder why I'm still alive and writing these words and not my own epitaph.

And that's not even all! There's also the adorable necklace scene with Salmon, Evil!Buddhist Monk sowing disturbance with his whispered evil words :) random scenes with the other characters and their own messy lives, how social media and shipping culture destroy friendships and real people, Sam heartbroken pumping volleyball balls while the camera shows him from behind 😭😂…

The only thing I didn't like, but I just NEVER like it, was the romanticization of bruises. No honey, bruises are NOT signs of love, can we stop this already?

But! Back to being stupid and high. I can't help but praise the 'realization of their feelings and the kiss' scene, which was the most random, ridiculous, TRASHY lol and funniest scene in the world, which I spent half of wheezing on the floor, but which I absolutely fucking LOVE.

The amount of love I feel for Sprite and his pure energy is immeasurable. Both me and First have NO chance, he's just too powerful. And the moment when Sprite knelt in front of First, slowly and never breaking eye contact, was defining and life-changing for both of us 💖

[the-acid-pear]

so fun fact: i kinda have an au (and ask blog) for if Henry's wife Martha and son David had survived (the blog is ask-the-miller-family if you wanna send some asks).

long story short: neither of them really like him too much, but especially not Martha.

like, listen. i personally get it if people think that if Martha and David lived, then things would be better. i get it!! because them dying is technically what led to Henry learning about souls and thus getting kind of obsessed with learning about death and how to cheat it.

but...who's to say that he wouldn't have gotten fascinated another way? what if them living only delays the inevitable?

so...yeah.

Martha kinda knows what Henry's done, but like. That Was Back Before No Fault Divorce Was A Thing. she knows damn well what Henry's capable of doing and getting away with. and she doesn't want to potentially put David in danger as well.

David views Dave (our beloved purple man) as an older brother of sorts. so take that as you will.

Martha is an alcoholic and has issues with smoking (My Alcoholic Friends by the Dresden Dolls fits her pretty well), and uh. Henry's Bullshit doesn't help.

so now you're probably wondering: does Dave still go by...y'know, Dave since David's still alive?

and i have the funniest possible response to this:

so. Henry's son kinda eventually found out he was agender (he/they) later on in the timeline and started going by Dallas/Dally (based off that one Outsiders character, a book they were really into)

Dave started expressing how he would do anything to become Henry's son. Dally already views him like an older brother.

you see where this is going.

look, Dallas knew this was going to piss Henry off, but they honestly think it's fucking hilarious and also inherited the "Little Shit" gene in the family.

so long story short: Dally just kinda "handed over" the name to Dave. :)

- dogboyjackkennedy

OBSESSED OVER THE NAME PASSING THAT'S GENUINELY SO CUTE..... Though no shade on Dally but if someone told me they wanted to be my shitty parent's kid I'd have gone insane though no bullets enter Dave babygirl stubborn and blind when emotions are on the table so I get it.

Also I feel so bad for Martha fr what a dogshit life to live like even the weight of technically being complicit too bc she'd TRY stopping it but the cost of failure would be so high... Just sooo sad though that's also one of my fave songs so . hashtag girlboss? /silly

I'll def be checking out the blog tho let's hope I can fire enough neurons to send an ask too smfbgntb ^_^

[llycaons]

ep49 (2/3): I wish jgs was alive so we can kill him again (more painfully)

oh jgy is so good. he developed a fake tell for lying so he can deceive his brother more effectively. come to think of it, xy was also a lying liar who tricked the person who trusted him the most and sent him to his death. I'm sensing a theme

...read a fic once where lwj was gravely wounded at nightless and lxc blamed wwx and then killed him because of it. that was juicy as fuck. their relationship didn't recover for years, not until it was revealed wwx secretly survived. that was a parent trap AU. wild time. anyway

a really powerful move to cement him as the shy, loyal yet socially powerless illegitimate son

oh god oh fuck remember how well this was done? they nailed the tragedy and horror SO well

yayyy uncle nephew time. wwx and jl make me so happy they're FAMBLY!

legitimate greivance! but jgy, this isn't a justification for jin zixuan! you murdered one of the only high-ranking jins who actually liked you and treated you with respect

like if he'd killed his dad and zixun he probably would have been fine. guaranteed a high position and zixuan could pressure the rest of the sect to treat him with respect, which he wasn't close enough with nmj to really push the issue on

yep that IS fucked. jgy's resentment is long-held and justifiable

ugh god I don't even want to insult a pig by calling him that. piece of shit!

okay this was a slay move

this isn't helping your case dude. you just admitted to mass murder

I can't even tell if this is an act anymore. does he actually feel regret over any of this? does he rue the loss of his autonomy, his self-respect?

god what a disgusting person for real.

I refuse to post the quasi-kiss because it's nasty but also IT WAS NOT A KISS!!!! flirtatiously transferring fruit between mouths does not a kiss make!!!

fucking losing it. honestly I get it

buddy. lan xichen. you asked.

I forget if I already mentioned it, but the temple scene is really gorgeous. a good place for emotional showdowns, even if they drag a bit

aw fuck yes half-face shot that looks kind of awkward but metaphorically works PERFECTLY. also I complained about people being taken in by him but right here I was like 'okay finally we get some honesty from him! he's admitting he's a shitty person! it still might be an attempt to glean that very pity, but at least-' and then the ominous music starts and we get this shot

and I was like "FOR FUCK'S SAKE YOU JUST DON'T QUIT'

jc, calling to wwx as if he's trustworthy again...hm

lwj how did you come to that conclusion. what do you know about unorthodox qin string storage

WHERE??!!!! in his hand???

oh jeez he's really going for it. that's more blood than he drew from wwx...for once, someone suffers more than wwx (sorry jin ling)

FUNNIEST SHIT IN THE FINALE. jgy ditching his loyal retainer at the first possible opportunity. to quote that one post I know they fucked and su she is following him around bc he's hoping to do it again. and jgy is clearly not above leading people on to keep them devoted to him

oh my godddd

lsz got thrown in for no reason and also wen ning just showed up so the whole gang's here!!!

but seriously why is lsz here. where did he come from? why is he alone? he doesn't even do anything. I suppose it's so he can stare at wwx and clutch his little butterfly toy very tightly but he is blatantly just shoved into the scene for zero plot reason

it's not a complaint because he doesn't interfere or anything, and another trusted lan disciple relaying the truth of what happened in the temple can't hurt, but it's weird

there's jc again. now he trusts wwx again seemingly immediately, relying on him for information and clarification 🥺

[hezuart]

That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.

I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.

I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.

And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.

We need that.

Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.

How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?

I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die

:3

Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.

Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.

I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)

and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)

-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it

So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???

(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)

And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.

The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.

At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters

1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)

But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.

2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?

Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.

This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.

Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.

(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)

Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.

(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)

~

Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)

(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)

Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...

Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.

A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.

I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this

Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.

(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)

Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?

I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.

I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.

Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.

~~~

There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh

~~~

Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.

BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.

Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.

Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.

[hepaidattention]

saved

where Stiles and Lydia actually get alone time after he and the pack save her from Eichen House.

“Stiles found his eyes drifting closed, unable to resist the pull of sleep any longer. His last thoughts were of the blissful reminder that Lydia Martin was in his arms, alive, and he was never going to let anything else ever hurt her again.”

“Stiles, I’m fine,” Lydia insisted, pushing his hand back only slightly. She held onto it, tight, but she pushed it away from her just enough to show that she could stand on her own. She gave him a smile that actually reached her eyes, the tears in them causing her hazel irises to sparkle. She had been through so much, but she still managed to stand up from the table on her own. “See?” 

Stiles wasn’t letting go of her hand, “You don’t need to prove anything, Lyds, someone literally just performed trepanation to your skull,” he breathed out from his mouth, like if he didn’t he might pass out, “it’s okay to need help.”

“Stiles,” she placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing away tears stains with her thumb, “I’m okay, I promise.”

The sheriff had arrived, now talking to Lydia’s mom in the lobby of the clinic. Dr. Deaton and Scott were out there with them, all discussing the events of the night. Stiles was still in shock, he still felt like if he let go of Lydia’s hand it all would have been some big hallucination. It wouldn’t be the first time for him. Lydia could tell how concerned he still was so she nodded and said, “Okay, maybe I’m not a hundred percent.” She leaned on his arm, because in all honesty she really needed the support - she was just stubborn. “But I’m going to be fine, thanks to you.”

He scoffed a little, scratching the back of his neck as he raised his eyebrows in objection, “Lydia, trust me, I participated a pretty small part. Helping you limp out of a few hallways should hardly be categorized under ‘rescuing’.”

“Small?” She tweaked up her left brow, her right staying put. She pursed her lips and asked, “Did you make the plan?”

“Well, yeah,” he said like it was a ‘no duh��� question. He wasn’t wrong. “And it failed, miserably.”

She looked at her hand, as if it wasn’t real, then poked his chest. “Hm,”

He knew what she was doing. He sighed and said, “What?”

“Well, it sure feels like we’re alive,” she poked his cheek, “but if your plan failed, then I guess we must be dead.” She poked his cheek again. He gently grabbed her free hand (the poking one) and cracked a smile, which was her goal all along. He didn’t let go of either hand now, and she didn’t pull them away. She didn’t want to. 

“Ha, ha,” he faked a laugh, but he was still smiling down at her, “okay, so maybe like ten percent of the plan worked. The rest was purely winging it, lots of unadulterated luck.” She was still looking at him with pursed lips, which unconsciously made his gaze fall to them. “Lots.”

It got still between them, Lydia realizing what he was staring at, Stiles having trouble looking away. Ever since he found her in Eichen House all he’s wanted to do was kiss her - he knew it was just old feelings being stirred up from the detrimental, gnawing reality of possible death, but he still couldn’t help but just want nothing more than to kiss her. That feeling should have faded - but it was more strong than ever before now. It didn’t help that he was pretty sure Lydia was thinking the exact same thing - she couldn’t be, could she? She was staring at his lips too, wasn’t she? Their eyes met then, and the electricity between them was hard for even a plain old human like him to deny. This was insane, he had to snap out of it. This was purely because life and death put them into survival mode. He tore his eyes from her own - a hand running through his mess of hair. 

“Do you uh,” he cleared his throat, his mouth much drier than he expected, “do you need a ride home?”

“Stiles,” she smirked, looking behind her towards the lobby, then back at him, “I think my mom can drive me home.”

“Right! Right, yeah, right, right,” he was chewing on his bottom lip, his eyes staring down at the ground (too afraid to meet her gaze again). However, he still didn’t let go of her hands. He couldn’t. He wouldn't. He finally looked up, “Are you sure?”

“I mean,” she was looking tired again, really really tired. She leaned back into the table and yawned, “I’m highly sure my mom is here, and I’m pretty sure she’ll want to bring me home.”

He let loose one of her hands to help support her from her elbow. “Lyds, I think maybe you should sit back down,”

She nodded, surprisingly not arguing. He led her to a chair this time, rather than struggling to get her up on that table again. She sat down on the cold, black seat and let out a huff. “Who knew screaming could wear out a banshee.” She rested her hand on her fist, eyes closing. 

Stiles pushed the hair from her eyes with his thumb, now standing on his knees in front of her. “Lydia?” he shook her knee just a little, “Lyds, remember what Deaton said,” this time he tucked the hair behind her ear since it kept persistently falling back in her eyes. “Can you tell me what he said?”

She smacked her mouth like she was in need of water and she nudged her head a little, an attempt of a nod. With eyes still closed she said, “I should try to stay awake for at least eight hours.”

“Yeah, exactly,” he puffed a soft laugh from his nose, “this doesn’t look a lot like trying to stay awake.”

“What does it look like then?” Her head went from staying up on her fist to finding Stiles’ arm that was lying across the side of the chair and laying her head on it like he was her pillow. 

“Well, I’m not an expert, but it looks a lot like sleeping to me.”

“Shhh,” her pale lips pursed again, just to make the noise. God he wanted to kiss her. No, Stiles, snap out of it! You cannot and should not kiss Lydia Martin. “Stiles, I’m trying to sleep, don’t be so loud.”

He knew he needed to keep her awake, but he felt so guilty waking her. She looked so peaceful, and how could he find it in him to ask her (after everything she’d been through) to stay awake? 

However, his dad did it for him. He waltzed in the room with his booming voice, announcing both their names as if they wouldn’t respond to just a quiet tap on the shoulder. The sound made Lydia jump up immediately. She grabbed both of his arms with a death grip, nails digging into his forearms with rattled breaths. 

“Lyds, it’s okay, it's okay,” Stiles said soothingly, his hands turning up to grab her arms back in any way he could. She looked at the sheriff with wide eyes, then met Stiles' gaze. The fear in her expression melted, and her forehead fell into his. “It’s okay,” he said again, watching as she closed her eyes and slowed her breathing. “I’m right here. I’m not gonna let anything else happen to you, okay?”

She nodded against his head. Stiles reluctantly pulled his head from hers, pried a hand from her tight grasp, and looked at his dad with sigh. “Yeah?”

“Well uh,” he looked a little uncomfortable, his eyes scanning the two of them as if he was trying to put the last pieces of the puzzle together, but they just didn’t fit. He knew they weren’t together, yet he couldn’t help but feel like at this moment, they were. “Well, Lydia’s mother, she’s uh, she’s gonna need to come down to the station. She wants to make a report on Eichen House and she doesn’t seem to want to wait - can’t really say I blame her. She was wondering if you one of us could -”

“I’ll bring her home,” he was holding her hand again now, Lydia squeezing back (tight), “No problem.”

“Alright, sounds good,” he cleared his throat again, his eyes flicking to their joined hands, then back to his son. “Scott ran off somewhere, god knows where, he mumbled something about Liam needin’ him or somethin’ like that. You sure you guys will be okay? I’m sure I can call a deputy down to help -”

“We’re fine, dad,” Stiles cut off his dad’s spiel with a half smile. “We’ll be fine. Lydia’s house is only like 10 minutes down the road.”

“Okay,” he nodded, still looking weary, “well, if you need me son, if you need anything,-”

“You’ll be the first one we call,” he stood up then, helping Lydia to her feet beside him. He wrapped an arm around her waist as she walked, much more steady than before but still weak. They stopped in front of his dad and he softly smiled as he said, “I promise, okay?”

The sheriff nodded, his forehead still frowning, but honestly that was his normal expression now-in-days. He patted his son on the shoulder and said, Alright, well, be safe.”

Stiles gave him a wink and, “Always,” before they made their way out of the clinic and to his jeep. He helped Lydia in the passenger seat first, then he made his way around the car, quickly to his seat before resting his hands on the steering wheel and letting out a long exhale. 

“You okay?” Lydia asked him, the tone of concern in her voice. Stiles laughed, looking at her like she just made the funniest joke he’d heard all night (not that he’d heard very many jokes at all all night). She pouted at him, her head pressed against the headrest as she glared, “Why are you laughing?”

“Lydia, you literally almost died today, and you’re asking me if I’m okay.” He shook his head, his eyes on the steering wheel as if the car is supposed to drive itself. “You’re unbelievable.” He meant that in the highest of regards. She thinks. 

“Hate to break it to you Stilinski,” she raised her head, trying to reach his eyes, “but you almost died today, too.”

He turned then, locking eyes with her, and his breath hitched in his chest. Her hazel hues glowing in the moonlight, the soft smile on her lips. She looked like death, not that he would ever tell her that, and she still was the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen walk his earth. A sudden flood of love overcame him, which then quickly was partnered with worry. “Are we sure it’s okay to bring you home? Shouldn’t - shouldn’t Deaton want to keep you overnight for observation? Shouldn’t we make sure you’re going to be alright-”

“Stiles,” she grabbed his knee and squeezed. It stilled his bouncing leg, and stilled his racing thoughts. “Take me home,” her mouth curved up just slightly, “please. I just want to go home.”

“Okay,” He nodded and he felt tears pricking his eyes again. Why? Now was not an appropriate time to cry, dear god Stiles - just drive. “Okay.” He shook his head and let out an uneasy breath as he started the ignition, the jeep purring awake. “Let’s get you home.”

-

He helped Lydia in her room, waited for her as she showered, and now he was wrapping covers around her legs, propping pillows behind her back, and fidgeting around like the world was going to end if he stopped moving for two seconds. He was rambling now, going on about all the things she needed and looking around the room for something to help ease her discomfort. “Stiles,” she said, hoping he’d stop moving like a fly trapped in a jar. 

He didn’t hear her. “Do you need anything to eat? No? Drink, maybe? Water? God, I bet you’re freakin’ thirsty -” he looked at her dry lips and ran a hand through his once spiky hair. All the gel had been combed out by his own nervous hands. “When was the last time you had anything to drink? - ya know what, I’m just - I’m just gonna go get you some water.”

Before Lydia could protest, he was gone. She sighed, leaning her head back on the pillows and watching the ceiling. The mistletoe and everything else Deaton did helped, but she could still hear the voices, when there was nothing else to listen to, nothing else to keep her mind off the pain. She closed her eyes, sucked in a breath, then released it only to suddenly hate the idea of sleeping. 

“Stiles,” she shouted, the voices slowly getting louder the longer he was gone. What was taking him so long? “Stiles!” She was getting frantic. She started ripping the blankets from her legs, her feet ready to go searching for him, when he came practically falling in the room with a glass of water in his hand. 

“What? Are you okay? What happened?” he stumbled at the side of the bed, falling to his knees in an instant. He sat the glass down instinctively and immediately checked her like something was physically wrong - cupping her face with his hand and searching her eyes. 

Lydia shook her head, feeling a little guilty, “I’m fine, sorry, I just…” there was no reason to lie, this was Stiles. He’d seen her at her worst and told her she was beautiful for it. “The voices, they just get really loud when it’s quiet.”

“Right, okay,” he licked his lip top lip, then bit down, looking around her room like he would find answers. “Quiet equal bad, we can work with that.”

“Just don’t…” she held onto him tight, like he was her anchor, “don’t leave me again.”

Stiles was giving her that mouth gaped open, nodding like a speechless idiot face. “Uh, yeah, yeah you go it - no more leaving.” Then his eyes caught sight of her nightstand, three DVD’s stacked beside her lamp. “What about a movie then? Yeah? Doctor’s orders?”

Lydia wanted nothing more than to sleep, but she knew sleeping sounded like the scariest thing she would do today. She nodded, realizing then that she was crying - she wasn’t even sure what that started happening. No wonder Stiles acted like her very life was in his hands, she probably looked like a ticking time bomb. She also realized she was holding Stiles’ hand, which she needed to let go of for him to put a movie on. 

Stiles put on the movie, one of Lydia’s favorites - he didn’t even have to ask, he just knew the perfect movie she would love. It was her comfort movie, and he knew it. Then he crawled back beside her bed and leaned his body against the side. His face was on the corner of her mattress, watching the previews like he’d never seen the trailer for a chick flick before. He was so exhausted, she could tell he was doing everything in his power to stay awake. She was lying down, curling up as close to him as possible, but she felt cold and alone. Every time she closed her eyes she could see Eichen House, the doctors, the patients, the victims. She could hear the voices seeping into her mind. The only time she remembered being at peace was when she was holding Stiles’ hand. She couldn’t do that very well right now, and if she was honest she didn’t want to just hold his hand.

“Stiles,”

“Hm?” he said sleepily. He nudged his head back, looking at her with all the love he could muster (which was a lot). “Something wrong?”

“No, it’s just… you don’t have to sit on the floor you know.”

He looked so confused, his brows knitting together as he looked at her bed, then back to her eyes. “I don’t?”

“I have a king size bed, Stiles. There’s plenty of room up here for the two of us.”

“Yeah?” she didn’t waver, so he then said, “Yeah, okay, yeah,” he stood up, crawling on the bed from the end, “plenty of room, right? Not like we have to cuddle or something-” 

Once he got to the top she pulled on his arm, wrapping it around her waist and snuggling into his embrace as he settled into the bed beside her. Stiles was in shock. He knew this was purely platonic need for physical touch in he midst of a mental and emotional crisis… but he was spooning Lydia Martin, and it was her choice. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?” 

He didn’t know how to answer. He just stammered out, “Sur-sure, yeah,”

“Stiles,” she intertwined her fingers with his and looked back at him with a frown, “Promise me you won’t go anywhere?”

His face relaxed, meeting her eyes like she was the only thing that brought his mind to peace. He could have a thousand thoughts racing at once, but when she looked at him, everything was still. “I’m not going anywhere,” he tightened his arm around her, “I promise.” She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. His eyes fluttered, “What was that for?”

“A thank you,” she turned back towards the movie, snuggling further into his embrace. “For saving me.”

He whispered back, “What else was I gonna do? I couldn’t let you die. I’d lose my freakin’ mind.”

She didn’t answer, she just closed her eyes with a smile on her face. Within minutes she was sound asleep in his arms. He just watched her, terrified about what would happen if he fell asleep too. Someone drilled a hole in her beautiful freakin’ head - that had to be bad for the brain, right? He watched the movie some, but when she’d flinch or squirm his attention immediately went back to her - holding his breath every time until she showed signs of being alright. 

It had been so long since he allowed himself to think like this - so long since he’d allowed himself to even consider Lydia as anything but a friend. The thing was, he knew he still was just that for her - just a friend. Stiles was always who she went to when she was hurting, but never who she went to when she was in the mood for a good cuddle or a make-out session. That wasn’t them - he had been friend-zoned far too long now for that. 

That didn’t change the fact that he now was realizing something he didn’t want to realize. Through all the years of knowing Lydia, his feelings for her were once shallow, fragile, inexperienced - but now, her laying in his arms after almost dying, he knew what she really meant to her. It killed him that he was allowing himself to think this way, but the thing was he always knew, he just wouldn’t let himself get so far as to put words to it. It hurt too much. 

Lydia flinched, Stiles holding just a little tighter, and she relaxed back in his arms. He whispered so quietly, he could hardly hear himself even say it: “I love you, Lydia Martin.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, eyes closed, “I love you, too.” Stiles popped up, his ears having to have played a trick on him. Then in her sleep she mumbled, “No mom, I don’t need another prada bag.”

Stiles laughed to himself and fell into the bed again. The hardest part was knowing tomorrow he’d wake up with Lydia Martin in his arms, and then having to go through the rest of his day acting like it meant nothing to either of them. Like it was nothing to him but pure platonic cuddling, for emotional support only, of course. 

Stiles found his eyes drifting closed, unable to resist the pull of sleep any longer. His last thoughts were of the blissful reminder that Lydia Martin was in his arms, alive, and he was never going to let anything else ever hurt her again.

[maldito-arbol]

Let’s talk about zodiacs and TPN Part 1

This is largely inspired by the fact that I talk about the characters’ zodiacs nonstop in the fanfic I’m working on for my tpn witch au, and I’ve been chortling to myself the entire time about how well some of them fit their sign and how some of them just... don’t. I’m going to simply infodump about each character, their sign, element, and some attributes they fit to a t while others don’t make sense. I will also touch on compatibility for all you shippers out there, don’t worryyy. Now this isn’t at all a critique or review of the characters themselves— I know astrology is not the first thing authors consider when choosing character birthdays, if they even do at all, this is simply me rambling about my hyperfixation and projecting onto fictional characters like we all do.

A couple last notes— one character in particular (cough cough Ray) has a different “canon” birthdate from “actual” so I’ll discuss both. Also, while I will be doing surface level research to make sure I’m not talking out of my ass, im not a professional astrologist, I’m simply a witch with an enthusiasm for zodiacs. Well then, without further ado, let’s talk about the kiddos.

Emma

Birthdate: August 22nd

Sign: Leo

Element: Fire

An overview: The funniest thing to me about Emma is that she’s literally the epitome of a Leo. Fire signs are generally very outgoing and energetic—they talk a lot and tend to be the leaders of the packs. Leos in particular are incredibly admirable and truly know their way around a conversation. If I ever wanted to get stuck in an elevator for 48 hours with no wifi or connection to the outside world and only one random stranger to talk to for the entire duration, I would pick a Leo in a heartbeat. Emma is very much the leader-type, she’s someone everyone pauses and listens to when she calls for their attention, and she always prefers to talk her way out of conflict rather than fight—but not in an underhanded manipulative way, no, Leos are very genuine with their feelings and will be upfront about their reasons for their actions.

Take this scene between Emma and Leuvis for example— this to me is about the closest to perfect of a summary of what Leos are like, and how Emma fits her sign beautifully.

She doesn’t want to fight, but she will if she has to—for the good of her friends and the good of humanity. She can stick to her ideals and yet extend a hand to the enemy anyway. This is what makes Leos such a force to be reckoned with in leadership roles.

Compatibility and ships: I know I know, this is the part you’re most excited about. I’m going to attempt to refrain from sharing my opinion on each ship itself, I will simply point out which have the highest compatibility levels. First of all, essentially all signs are most compatible with 1. Other signs of the same element and 2. Their compliment sign, their elemental opposite.

Since Emma is a fire sign, she’s generally compatible with other fire signs (Sagittarius, Aries, and of course Leo) as well as Air signs (Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra). So speaking broadly, she’s compatible of course with Norman as an Aries, as well as Ray IF he truly is an Aquarius. But if we narrow it down a little bit, I should mention that fire signs being fire signs can often clash with each other because both their energies are so high (personal experience lmao), and therefore their elemental opposite, air, are generally the way to go. Usually you’ll find on astrological charts and sites that Leos are most compatible with Geminis and Aquariuses, so Ray again if he is an Aquarius, and then we bring Violet into the picture because she’s a Gemini. (Uh, speaking as a Gemini, Leos are my favorite people to date, and I always seem to crush on them as well. I have a problem. A Leo problem.) I’m so sorry Gilemma shippers but fire and earth signs are like the worst combo, I don’t know how this happened because I love Gilemma with all my heart. The stars simply did not align for us this time

Norman

Birthdate: March 21st

Sign: Aries

Element: Fire

Overview: okay listen. I didn’t believe Norman was an Aries at first because he’s not as high energy as most fire signs, but then the more I thought about it, the more it just makes sense. The most key trait to an Aries is loyalty. They are so incredibly loyal and caring to the people they love that they often neglect themselves in the process. They can be very quick to anger if someone hurts or insults their friend, and are unafraid to start a fight or commit morally gray or even black actions in service of their loved ones. Point is you don’t mess with an Aries’ family or friends. You will get burned.

All the loyalty applies to Norman so incredibly well—the way that his plans and actions revolve entirely around Emma and Ray, and the way that he sacrifices himself for their escape even though he’s terrified of dying. But even more so this loyalty strikes you in the face when he returns as William Minerva, willing and committed to full on genocide all to keep his friends alive and safe. As I’ve said Aries are quick to anger, which seemingly isn’t very present in cool-headed, thoughtful Norman, but then you remember this:

Look at his expression. Even if he doesn’t easily lose his cool, when he does it’s terrifying. So essentially Norman is a much more subtle Aries— he’s not in your face aggressive or full of energy, but he has all the hidden signs. So yeah, I honestly can’t think of any other sign that describes him better. Norman is an Aries.

Compatibility and ships: being a fire sign and all, Norman’s compatibility is actually very similar to Emma’s. He’s compatible with other Fire signs (Sagittarius, Leo, and Aries) as well as Air signs (Libra, Aquarius, and Gemini). Speaking broadly that makes him compatible with Emma and Ray again, but narrowing it down Aries are much better in general with Libras and Leos so congrats Noremma shippers you won.

Ray

“Canon” Birthdate: January 15th

“Actual” Birthdate: February 5th

“Canon” sign: Capricorn

“Actual” sign: Aquarius

“Canon” Element: Earth

“Actual” Element: Air

Overview: alright Ray is a bit of a mixed bag to unpack. Because it’s been stated that Ray’s January 15th birthday is not his actual birthday outside of the source material, then it’s reasonable for me to count both birthdays because people have different ideas of what’s canon and what’s not. Interestingly enough though, Ray does indeed fit well enough into both the Capricorn and Aquarius signs, however I personally believe one shows through him better than the other.

We’ve been talking about fire signs for Emma and Norman so it’s finally time to dive into two other elements! We’ll start with Capricorn then, the Earth sign. The most important thing to remember is that the Earth signs are the most grounded and practical. If you want someone who can give you logical and rational advice, your best bet would be the Earth signs (Air signs are also good at this but this ain’t about them. Although you will notice some overlap in traits between these two, particularly in Capricorns and Aquariuses).

We can already see the ‘practical’ side show through in Ray by the way he hyperfocuses on taking Norman and Emma to escape but insists on leaving the other kids behind. This isn’t to say he doesn’t feel for them, on the contrary, Earth signs are indeed very in tune with their emotions and empathy, but Capricorns really know how to set that part of them aside in favor of the calm and certain route. They like tangible solutions, things they can grasp with the least amount of risk, and they’re very resistant to changes—like giant rocks. This is also noticeable in how Ray gets so very flustered by Norman and Emma’s impulsivity. He clashes with both of them because Earth signs prefer to take things slow while Fire signs just like to make a leap and hope for the best.

Note how Emma says “not that I mind...” meanwhile Ray is out here going “I MIND!!” Which we learn is because of his identity as the spy. He’s got his own plan and a tangible solution to shoot for, and Norman and his impulsivity and Emma going along with it is messing everything up. Thus, he forcibly retakes control of the situation via making a deal with Norman after the traitor is revealed. Very Capricorn stuff.

And if you want an image that just completely sums up the Capricorn in Ray, here you go:

On the OTHER hand, if we’re to go off Ray’s “actual” birthdate, which was so lovingly calculated by Tempo, then we get Aquarius Ray, the Air sign. The most important things to note about the air signs is that they’re the thinkers—the farthest from impulsive, they’re the least in tune with their emotions, and they are oh so horribly indecisive. Where Earth signs will be able to give advice that adheres to both logic and emotion, Air signs stick purely to logic. Where Earth signs are able to make calm and rational decisions, Air signs will agonize over options and often find themselves lost, searching perpetually for a solution with no cracks in it. Hello. I’m an Air sign. :’))

I’m gonna come right out and say it. I hate Aquarius men. Aquarius women and enby folks, they’re great. But Aquarius men? I may, as a Gemini, get along with them in surface level casual conversation, but behind every Aquarius man’s back is a Mal waiting to strangle him the moment I am given the opportunity. I’m so sorry Ray my son but you are not an Aquarius okay. Alright. Well, let’s just talk about the parts of him that do fit Aquarius.

So from the very start Ray is obviously a thinker, someone who considers his options very carefully before he makes a decision, and someone who hates making choices based solely on emotion. In fact, he hates expressing emotions at all. Aquariuses are very good at repressing or hiding their emotions behind other emotions (most air signs are). The most common way to do this is to put up a wall of either numbness or full-on rage. We can see both in Ray.

Instead of showing vulnerability in a healthy way, he would rather do that. Ok cool Ray.

Aquariuses can also be very quiet people, and Ray’s pretty dang quiet for most of the series too. They’re the intellectuals you know are intellectuals even though they aren’t up in your face about it. Their reserved nature makes them 10x scarier when they’re genuinely angry, because boy can an Aquarius rage.

The thing about Aquarius Ray for me here is that while Ray does indeed have Aquarius energy, it’s not the Core of Ray. To me he’s so much more of an Earth sign, so therefore I diagnose Ray with Capricorn.

Compatibility and ships: ok this is a mixed bag again. Now if you got Aquarius Ray then of course he’s compatible with other Air signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) and Fire signs (Leo, Aries, and Sagittarius), which would make him compatible with Norman and Emma for sure, as well as probably Ayshe for you Rayshe shippers because my personal HC is Aquarius Ayshe.

If you’ve got Capricorn Ray, then Capricorns are compatible with other earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) and their compliment water signs (Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio), though they’re best with Cancers and Tauruses. So yes, Anna is a Taurus, which makes Rayanna a compatible pair. But guess who’s a Cancer. Don. ALL MY RAYDON SHIPPERS GET OUT HERE YOU COWARDS IM CALLING YOUR NAME. YOU WIN THE SHIP GAME.

Gilda

Birthdate: May 13th

Sign: Taurus

Element: Earth

Overview: So again with the practical and grounded Earth signs. Tauruses now, are the most stubborn of them, which can be a little irritating at times, but it’s also a great asset when you consider how reliable they truly are. They’re bulls, which makes them solid and difficult to move, and you can always fall back on them when you’ve leapt too far ahead. Gilda is of course the epitome of reliable, and her stubbornness does show through at times—like when she’s the one person against Emma going out into danger all the time, constantly trying to talk her down into a more practical and certain solution. She’s also the first to attempt to bring Emma to see Ray’s side of the escape plan, which is very earth sign of both of them good job guys.

Compatibility and ships: I know I know I’m still upset Gilemma isn’t compatible astrologically but we can talk about other Gilda ships! Tauruses are most compatible with other earth signs (Capricorn, Virgo, and Taurus) and water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) which makes her compatible with our other lovely Taurus, Anna! Gilanna shippers unite. But they’re best with Cancers and Scorpios, which means Gildon is is at highest compatibility.

Don

Birthdate: July 4th

Sign: Cancer

Element: Water

Overview: HEY YALL ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT MY LEAST FAVORITE SIGNS: W A T E R. (I’m sorry my water friends, I’m sure you’re lovely, but as an air sign I am always extremely suspicious of water signs at first meeting because our compatibility is so low it might as well not exist) So the water signs are at the absolute highest emotional level. This can make them extraordinarily kind and nurturing, but it can also make them absolutely unreasonable and destructive. None is this more present than in Cancers, one of the most sensitive signs, but also one of the most empathetic. We can tell very clearly in Don that he wears his emotions on his sleeve—he’s unafraid to cry or show his anger, but he also takes very good care of his younger siblings and shows such an intense concern for them that it can become frightening.

He’s such a good boy 🥺

Compatibility and ships: okay so same drill, Cancers are generally compatible with other Water signs (Scorpio, Pisces, and Cancer) as well as Earth signs (Taurus, Capricorn, and Virgo) though their highest compatibility is with Tauruses and Capricorns. So again. GILDON AND RAYDON SHIPPERS R I S E.

God I’m so sorry if I cause a ship war. I rambled for too long and I’m very tired, so you only get these five characters for now. BUT! That’s why it’s a part 1. If you want more please feel free to harass me in my ask inbox about the characters you want me to overanalyze the signs of. Gemini out!

[delusional-mishaps]

General headcanons for the boys? Like what are they like in general?-😗🔪 anon

under the cut :)

sorry this took me so long my brain is empty and ive never wrote my hcs down before so i had to try to remember them 💀

also dont mind the spelling errors you may find i wrote most of these half awake

Arbiter (Undertale Sans):

he really likes outdated memes. the older they are, the funnier.

he doesn't really remember resets, he depends mostly on Frisk to either fill him in on why they did it, or cues that they have already been in this situation before. he's aware that something isn't right and that deja vu shouldn't be lasting for this long...

he also gets dreams that are basically memories of past resets. good or bad memories, they always leave him feeling awful. it's either a timeline he could have had, or a timeline where he lost everything

gaster is their father because i love dadster but the reason i'm mentioning this is because he sort of forced arbiter to learn about astrophysics so he could have someone he could rely on no matter what. when no one else would believe in his skills to get them to the surface, he knew his own son wouldn't turn on him

so, yes, that implies the machine in the basement lab was supposed to get then to the surface. after gaster fell into the core (with arbiter watching), arbiter took over. he learned everything he knew from gaster, but he didnt learn everything so it wasn't enough knowledge to continue past a certain point.

he befriended grillby because grillby and gaster used to be friends and gaster would take arbiter to the bar for breaks between working on the machine. grillby later became a reminder of gaster, and it comforted him slightly

when he and champ were children, gaster was often too busy being the royal scientist so he raised champ basically on his own. it made him realise how hard it is to raise a kid and he would never want to do it again.

he's perfectly fine without his own children, but he'd be more than happy to be the cool uncle to both frisk and, if champ ever wanted children, them too

him and toriel are besties 😫😫 entirely platonic because i said so 😐 admittedly, he did used to have a crush on her while the two traded jokes through the door but when he learned she was the queen and was much older than him, the crush sort of died

he prefers baths over showers because one time he fell asleep in the shower and fell over and knocked down every single bottle. he's scared he'll fall again so at least if he falls asleep in the bath, all he has to worry about is waking up in cold water

Champion (Undertale Papyrus):

he takes his job as monster mascot super seriously, and he's become quite famous!

he wants to see the best in everyone, he wants to believe everyone is capable of kindness

he's not as naïve as he appears, he knows so much more than he lets on

he really likes those street performers, specifically the magicians. it's so cool to watch humans doing card tricks! he wants to learn

REMEMBER HOW HE LITERALLY FLIES OVER YOUR HEAD AFTER HIS FIGHT IN THE GAME? it's gravity magic, but he actually does it a lot its SO FUNNY

he'll just start floating over someone if they're in his way but he doesn't want to bother them I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

controversial take but he can also shortcut 🤨🤨 he just doesn't much because running builds his muscles even if he doesnt have any...

he is the funniest person you will ever meet, and most of it is unintentional too. he's just such a silly lil guy

we all know arbiter thinks he is the coolest, but champion thinks arbiter is the coolest. only the coolest monster alive could raise the great champion!

i used to have a headcanon that, when he got to the surface and the royal guard pretty much disbanded, he would pursue a job as a physiotherapist. i think this headcanon mostly started as a self indulgent "what if papyrus was my physiotherapist" for when i needed physio after i dislocated my knee for the second time, but i think it would honestly fit him! he'd get to help people heal, all while encouraging them to stay fit!

Phobos (Underfell Sans):

he doesn't like puns because he's not clever enough to make them. he can tell a mean knock knock joke, though

he's such a big car guy, he has little models of them and everything. his goal is to restore at least one old car in his life, he doesn't ever care what kind

he's really reclusive. not for any reason, he just prefers to be alone

YOU KNOW SUSIE FROM DELTARUNE? he laughs EXACTLY like her, head throw back, one hand over his eyes and the other on his stomach

he hates his brother's cat with a PASSION. she's always in his room and getting her fur all over everything

it isn't just doomfanger he doesn't like, either. he doesn't like most animals. they either need constant attention or they're messy, even worse if they're both.

while he doesn't like pets, he'll gladly keep plants. he's not exactly the best at caring for them, they often end up either over watered or forgotten, so his brother has to take care of them but he loves them <3

he names the plants.

i think its weird when people give him only one HP? like i know Arbiter only has one, but in Underfell they have dust on their hands. they have LV, and it raises your HP, at least if you go off what happens to Frisk when you kill a monster. he's still have really low HP, but it certainly wouldn't be 1. i think it'd at least be in double digits.

Deimos (Underfell Papyrus):

he's really soft on his brother considering the world they grew up in. phobos could have just left him on his own as a child, but he didn't. it's his own way to show his brother how grateful he is

i hate everyone who gave them an abusive relationship fuck you guys/th family comes first if you're not protecting your family in this world you are shunned. so no, he doesn't be mean to his brother to "keep up appearances", they are NICE TO EACH OTHER and they LOVE EACH OTHER even if it tough love. maybe that's all they know because of their violent world 😡😡

sorry it's three am and i am very passionate about that.

he's actually a big baby. and the only one who knows is his brother.

HONESTLY he's not as mean as people make him out to be. he's a really big nerd, he would totally love silly nerd things like Sci Fi movies and stuff

he really likes the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. he'll fight his brother (a notorious Friday the 13th fan) that Freddy is better than Jason

he's really strict and, in a world that's Kill or be Killed, he would still follow any laws still in place to a T. he is OVERWHELMED by the amount of laws he has to remember on the surface, but he would rather die than do something illegal.

he literally won't even jay walk like dude it's fine no one cares 💀

he's a very good cook because i'm a sucker for that sort of thing. he still originally "learned" how to cook from Undyne, but when he saw how horrible of a cook she was, he decided it'd be best if he learned on his own

doomfanger was literally picked up off the side of the road. deimos is a sucker for cute animals and he would probably bring in any stray he saw if his brother didn't stop him

Firefly (Underswap Sans):

while he does own a motorcycle, his main mode of transportation is a dad van. one of those minivans that have a tv in it and the doors have buttons to open and close them

he is very obviously the older brother

tacky tourist dad outfits

he's the dad friend.

he is the older brother and he likes puns and he has 1 HP and you can pry that hc outta my cold dead hands. actually no you cant cuz ill hold onto it in death 😋😋😋😋😋

he didn't join the royal guard because he wanted to, he did it because he felt like it would help protect his brother if anything were to happen. the only reason he isn't allowed to actually join the guard is because of his low HP

Meridian (Underswap Papyrus):

he started smoking as a way to calm his anxiety and grew dependent on it. he knows how much it bothers his brother so he is trying to stop the habit, switching to suckers instead.

he's really good at art but he gets embarrassed whenever someone wants to look at it cuz he thinks it's bad

he doesn't necessarily dislike puns, but he pretends to just so his brother will make more. it makes him really happy to see firefly enjoying his horrible humour

he's the judge in his AU but, unlike Arbiter, he doesn't have karma so he has to use more powerful attacks if Chara ever went on a geno run

Leo (Swapfell Sans):

as said here; they have the aesthetic/looks of fellswap red, although i think i like the outfit for fellswap gold sans more 😇😇

older brother

he's not as mean as he appears to be, it was mostly to keep up a scary reputation so less monsters would bother him and his brother

he has relaxed significantly while on the surface, putting up less of a "tough guy" act, now only one when needed

he hates human politics soooo much. they are all stupid and crooks. granted, his own queen is a tyrant which isn't much better, but at least she is honest with her crimes

if i wanted to make him the oldest out of everyone, i CAN 😡. he is 53 in human years and he is tired and he just wants a glass of wine please just let him have a single glass of wine

he's super busy all the time and he hates it 💀 he is still a sans, he still likes to be lazy

Cav (Swapfell Papyrus):

he has the biggest sweet tooth

he doesn't talk much, due to just being shy

his physical looks is similar to fellswap red papyrus.

he falls in love really easily and tends to get hurt more often than not due to his little puppy crushes

he likes to game, mostly cutesy farm simulators like stardew valley or other games like that, but he also really enjoys online games like COD or Overwatch :)

SPEAKING OF GAMES OH MY GOD he would love genshin impact and he would grind for primogens and somehow he would ALWAYS GET THE CHARACTER HE'S WISHING FOR.

Pisces (Horrortale Sans):

semi-nonverbal

his head injury makes it hard for him to get words out, and even then, his mind is pushing through so many thoughts that he'll lose track of what he was saying midway through.

he has taken to write down what he wants to say, that way if he forgets halfway through, he can just read what he already has written to try and jog his memory.

i'm pretty sure it's canon that he never ate humans?, but yeah he hasnt 😇😇

this isn't a hc about him, but i like to think that Frisk never willingly left them. in their timeline, monsters were targets of a lot of hate crimes so they RESET and did a neutral run. they didn't want the monsters to miss them, so they didn't bother befriending any of them, which led to Undyne taking over instead of Toriel. if they knew what happened after they left, they would have figured something else out. Pisces thought they just didn't like them anymore and wanted to leave them behind.

OKAY so you know how he is a part of the bad guys? WELL IT'S NOT BECAUSE HE IS A "BAD GUY", GRIMM JUST SAW POTENTIAL IN HIM AND GAVE HIM A WAY OUT OF THE FAMINE!!!!! he's mostly like a dad who can cook really well and acts more like your friend than your dad yunno?

he never hurt others because he wanted to, it was just because he wanted to survive </3

if you ignore him being in the bad guys, then the way they got onto the surface in their AU was because he was secretly hoarding the SOULS to the humans he killed and he broke the barrier himself. ugh he's so strong and cool look at him go

Aries (Horrortale Papyrus):

he HATES the braces he has to wear to straighten his teeth. they get in the way and he can't enjoy all the food he wants to.

HE HAS A DOG ON THE SURFACE!!! a really big fluffy great pyrenees. she's beautiful and he takes her to the groomers often to deal with the shedding :) her name is fluffy, named by Pisces

pisces didn't want him to know what they ate during the famine, but he isn't stupid. he's well aware he had consumed human flesh. he feels guilty for it, even guiltier that he had enjoyed it.

despite just being an older papyrus, due to what he has seen and been through, his personality had changed a bit. he has a much shorter temper with others, and he wouldn't allow his guard down around threats.

he makes his own clothes if/when he can because he prefers clothing that fits 🤨

Hop (Dancetale Sans):

he gets really embarrassed while dancing in front of other people. he gets embarrassed doing it alone in his room sometimes too 💀

he's more lethargic than any other sans (quite the feat) but that's mostly because he doesn't really dance all that much and it takes a toll on his body. monsters naturally dance so for him to repress all his urges it strains him physically and makes him more tired

he's good at beatboxing smh

he used to be really confident in himself but with his hope going down, and with him stopping dancing, he lost his confidence

he feels like he'll never be as good as a dancer as he once was which just adds to the reason why he wont dance anymore.

Boleos (Dancetale Papyrus):

LISTEN LISTEN HE IS SO COCKY

like you would not BELIEVE how cocky he is oh my GOD

its okay he had reason to because he is so epic 🙄

he's tried out hiphop once for his brother but he made a fool of himself. he'll claim that day never happened if anyone were to bring it up 💀

he loves reality TV, and i know it's cliche but he loves the dancing shows 🙄 dancing with the stars (he was on that show once), dance moms, any other dance show that i've never heard of...

he is a very famous dancer and he's probably weaselled his way into some broadway show just to flaunt his dancing

Callisto (Outertale Sans):

he is probably my shortest boy

very shy/easily flustered

shut up i just think he is cute and i can make him easily flustered if i want to

this is a popular hc but he floats when he's embarrassed and i love it <3

living in space gives him a boost on astrology. he can identify every single known constellation and he knows really bizarre space facts that most likely no one else would know

the lower gravity of the moon is really handy to him cuz he could jump up and take a nap wherever he wanted. just kick his legs up and fall asleep mid air

Pandora (Outertale Papyrus):

LISTEN HE'S SO FUNNY TO WATCH WALK AROUND he loves playing with the low gravity cuz he'll just start jumping around and it looks like he's basically flying because he also uses his gravity magic like champ ugh

sometimes he gets distracted by it and forgets what he was going to do 💀

sometimes he will float off the face of the planet ON PURPOSE and it always freaks everyone else out because "oh my god how does he keep doing this he is going to get lost in space one of these days"

yeah he's a trouble maker. yeah he thinks its funny to see others reactions. yes he feels bad if he pulls a particularity mean jape. love him <3

Crow (Birdtale Sans):

collects shiny things!!!!

when he gets anxious, he tends to pull feathers from his wings. it helps to ground him, but it also sometimes leaves him with bald spots when he has a panic attack

he loves going flying on the surface, being able to see the world he was locked under really makes him appreciate the beauty of the earth

he'll perch on a tree to nap all the time. despite him being a grown adult, it still makes others worry because they don't know where he is when he disappears for extended hours

Carrion (Birdtale Papyrus):

he also collects shiny things HABAIBD

he prides himself in his wings so he takes really good care of them

he and his brother both have SUPER good memories

he likes to sit high up in trees, especially in the morning to watch the sun rise

speaking of the sun rise, he always wakes up before it to watch it, he loves the pretty colours the sky can make

Aero (Killertale Sans):

shameless

he is a menace to society

he loves deez nuts jokes tell me otherwise (maybe i'm just projecting )

he is actually really mentally unstable. the liquid hatred coming from his sockets affects him badly, and he's prone to lashing out at random times

ik i already said he is shameless but i dont think you get it, he could literally do anything without being embarrassed about it. ANYTHING

so of course he is a masochist. he's also sadistic but he likes pain to be inflicted on him for some reason 🙄

he and vendetta are besties idc IDC

Vendetta (Dusttale Sans):

he doesn't like others to see his emotions because he's afraid they will use it against him. something makes him happy? he's afraid it'll be ripped from him. something makes him sad? someone may use that against him as a weak spot. he hides behind a mask of indifference towards everything

he doesn't trust easily. not after frisk; not after they've taken so many things from him over and over again until he went insane. he is very good at pretending he trusts someone though. you may think he trusts you when in reality he doesn't at all.

the papyrus he sees is only a figment of his imagination, a manifestation of what he's done to his brother, to everyone in his AU. it isn't nice and it often ridicules him. it goes away when he gets distracted, but when he's alone, the voice is louder than ever. it takes the form of Papyrus because he is the one he regrets having to kill the most

he is very sadistic and he doesn't fight fairly at all. if he knows he is losing, he'll try to distract his opponent to get a few easy hits in. against a weaker opponent, he takes glee in watching them struggle to not get hurt and, eventually, killed

he has one of the highest LVs in the multiverse

Vex (XTale Sans):

he gets really jealous of other AUs and how they all got their stories. he's jealous that he never got that, that his own AU died and left nothing but him (and Chara, technically, but they don't really count)

he still acts as if he is a royal guard, even if his AU is long gone and he no longer has to

he speaks like semi-formally??? like he would always say "you are" instead of "you're" and stuff like that idk

do i think it's funny that he wouldn't know how the internet works? yes. do i also think it's funny that he would use tiktok? absolutely. it is the only social media account he has, and no matter how hard anyone tries to find it, they can't. he has all of them blocked because he's actually kind of embarrassed about it, but he has a lot of followers. he makes sure his face isn't in any of the videos just in case 💀

he may be a part of the bad guys, but he is also really good friends with sunny. they like to go out and spend their afternoons in cafés like cute little old people do they're so silly. they like to tell each other embarrassing secrets the others have it's how sunny found out vendetta actually sings in the shower

Delusion (Error):

uses he/they pronouns!

he makes dolls of the people he is close to, or if he finds them interesting enough

they can tamper with the code of any AU, and if he really wanted to, he could fix any mistakes within the code. they never do, though, as their job is to destroy AUs, not fix them

speaking of, he does what he does because it is his job, he was created to destroy AUs. he mostly takes out aus that arent fully finished or abandoned by the creator

i headcanon him as aromantic asexual. he's more-so demiromantic, and he needs a REALLY good connection with someone to actually be interested

along with haphephobia, they also have a fear of germs. the two fears go hand in hand, bouncing off each other to create a whole mess of situations

that leads into this next headcanon; he used to have a cat but the hair everywhere really bothered both of his phobias so he ended up giving it to graphite to take care of

the cat, originally, was supposed to be a sort of "exposure therapy" to get over his haphephobia because he didn't want to crash just because someone touched him. it didn't work out.

he and fresh and siblings <3 why? because i said so.

Graphite (Ink):

he is a very physical person, always wanting to be touching someone

not held back by meagre things such as GENDER or PRONOUNS! he doesn't mind what pronouns others use, they just mostly use he/him.

he never really feels anything, not even with the paints that give him "emotions". they more so just tempt him to act a certain way, a subconscious message that he should do something that related to that emotion; like cry when "sad"

i like to think he can break the fourth wall in the sense that he is helping creators with their own Au and/or projects within the already existing Aus. it's also mentioned here that he "supports the artist to keep contributing to the fandom".

BOUNCING OFF THE DELUSION HEADCANON, he loves the cat del gave him. he forgot it used to belong to del and now he thinks it's a gift. he won't listen to del saying otherwise because he thinks he is lying 💀

the cat is named doomsday and it was named by del. graphite had to write the name on his scarf to remember it 💀

Grimm (Nightmare):

he hates the taste of apples

he likes to garden! and he is very good at it. when he gets too worked up, he'll water his large garden by hand to calm down

fuck you/lh bad guy found family trope. he took them under his wing and he lets them live with him and he is the FATHER BECAUSE I SAID SO

i like to think he's like venom in the way that the physical manifestation of negativity is venom, a parasite inhabiting grimm's body. they are two consciousnesses living in the same body. the negativity is sort of a protector to grimm, too. maybe out of fear of losing the host, or because it actually cares for grimm, who knows. that's a secret i'll never tell :)

he's really good at chess and no one has beaten him yet 🙄

he isn't keen on having an s/o, he'll vastly outlive them and he also just doesn't really care about dating too much

he still lives in the rubble that is his original AU. he constructed the castle he lives in within the AU.

he's shorter than sunny. short king <3

sometimes you could find him in the ballroom of his castle, music coming from an unknown source as he waltzes by himself

Sunny (Dream):

he has a very... sunny... disposition.. hehe.. HAHAH

by that i mean he is often very chipper, you'll probably never see him anything but happy, no matter how long you're friends with him

it's not that he doesn't feel other emotions, he just doesn't like others seeming him sad/angry/any other "negative" emotion. he's supposed to be the positive of the two brothers.

he's constantly moving, literally. when he's sitting, he'll bounce his leg or shake his foot to remind himself that he can move and he isn't still trapped in his stone prison

because of him being trapped in stone by his brother, he has slight claustrophobia, along with cleithrophobia.

he is very good at comforting others

he's... honestly a little afraid of Grimm. he knows he should have tried harder to stick up for his brother back when they were still children, and he still feels guilty and responsible for Grimm's corruption, but he's afraid of how powerful he has become; how Grimm could just kill all those people who wronged him

[butterbeeryuta]

chapter 1: flaxseed muffins and first times

We never really uncovered what happens after death, haven’t we? Some say that we go to heaven or hell, and possibly purgatory. Others say that we live again in another life form. Other sources also believed that the souls of our body are taken to the underworld, or as most of us know, House of Hades. Nonetheless, none of these are true. Well, maybe one of them is somewhat accurate. Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, only hell exists. Nobody lived a peaceful and pure life, hence why ‘heaven’ cannot be real— or that was at least written on the pamphlet I received a few hours ago. There are different types of hells; for example, Hell 34 only consists of English men who wore a blue polo shirt to play golf, while Hell 3 only have people who died heroically, making their country proud. As for me, yes I, I am going to Hell 127— the hell for people who had embarrassing deaths.

Here I am, in a fucking aeroplane, with 7 men and 5 women around me. I do not remember how I died, I really don’t. The lady with purple horns, who I assume is the flight attendant, distributed a pamphlet to every one of us, and it had everything written down. Not going to lie though, reading ‘you are dead and you are on your way to hell’ was something I was not expecting, nor did I want to hear. Then again, that is what life is in a way— you will face challenges and events that to do not appeal to you. Or I guess it would be more appropriate to say afterlife since I died with embarrassment.

‘Vaginas and Dicks, for your safety, not that it really matters since you all are practically dead, follow our goddamn instructions. Wear that safety belt, or something will happen to you— I personally do not know what happens since nobody has ever done it— and for now, please wear the green headphones in front of you, and a clip of your death will be displayed on your shitty screens. Enjoy devils.’ The purple woman said enthusiastically with the brightest smile, her red lips outlining the yellow tint of her teeth. Eagerly wanting to know why my death was considered ‘embarrassing,’ I grabbed the earphones, quickly placing them on my head. The small black screen in front of me suddenly lightened up; different splashes of colour decorating the plain rectangle. The different colours blended with another to form some sort of sphere, which only was shaped into you, soon followed by the background. I was in the restaurant with my little cousin, Seomin, eating the flaxseeds muffin I ordered as an attempt to be healthy for once in my life. Quite ironic that I’m now dead. Nonetheless, I was chewing on my muffin while Seomin was talking about how Mulan is the best Disney princess film ever—which she is not wrong—and I, being the best older cousin in this fucked up world— was not giving a damn. I was confused at this point since nothing happened. It got me wondering, did I die on the spot when I wasn’t listening to Seomin, or did my parents pray for Daddy Satan to come and collect me?

I let the video play, but I had to take a look at other people’s reaction to their death… honestly, some were quite hilarious. One pretty girl had her fingers on her scalp, mouth wide agape as she watches herself die to a point it was embarrassing. One rather young man with caramel-brown hair was trying his best to hold in his laughter as his joy-filled eyes was watching himself… die. Gosh, that sounded really wrong to say.

‘OH MY GOD HELP ___________ IS CHOKING! SOMEONE HELP MY COUSIN!’

Excuse me?

With no hesitation, my eyes turned back to the device the moment I heard my name tore out of Seomin’s throat, and I looked fucking ugly and in need of help; my eyes were wide open, my limbs were pathetically waving around, and I was making the world’s most unattractive noises which will surely act as a cockblock. Oh god, this cannot be the way how I died. One middle-aged man ran up to dying me, wrapped his arms around my chest as he kept pushing hard. Meanwhile, his nasty ass teenage son was just filming me choke to death. Literally. How nice of you kid. Although the video was still playing, it was way too damn obvious. I fucking choked on a healthy ass muffin, and died. How embarrassing is that? My parents called me a disappointment when I came home with a 84% on my Biology test, what more will they say when they find out that I didn’t know how to chew my food?

‘Oh damn, that’s how you died? You choked on a muffin? That’s both sad and embarrassing man’ a man’s voice beside me says, causing me to jump slightly from the sudden noise. I face turned towards him, and the sneeky-ass bitch was looking at my screen. This man was watching my death. What the fuck dude?

‘Excuse me, but who are you? This is quite a private moment don’t you think?’ I sharply asked, disliking that fact that this guy shamelessly watched me choke on a muffin. He just giggled in response, very similar to a child’s giggle. Did it warm my heart a bit? Yeah, maybe a little. But there was no way I was going to admit that. If he saw me dying in embarrassment, then so shall I.

‘Sorry, sorry. You were constantly shaking your head while watching so I thought yours was going to be quality conten— YO WOMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’

‘I’M GOING TO WATCH HOW YOU DIE CAUSE YOU SAW MINE CREEP!’ I screamed back as I took his earphones, trying my best to click on the play button. This would have been so much easier if this man’s strong hands were not stopping me from seeing the truth behind his body giving up on him. Without thinking, which is how I usually work anyway, I gathered all of my strength, pushing the doe-eyed man down, successfully hitting the play button. Ignoring the groan from the guy beside me, he was in a circle with a bunch of his guy friends, or probably his orgy mates who knows, and black-haired boy looked very lost.

‘Mark, truth or dare?’

‘Uhh, truth I guess?’ Mark, who is apparently the guy next to me pouting, replies unsurely as he bit his lower lip.

‘In detail, tell us how your first time went,’ one of the boys in the video asks, which only made alive Mark go pale. It wasn’t just a normal type of pale, he was PALE pale. Then it hit me like the way my mother hits me in the back of my head with a slipper. The bitch literally died of embarrassment. Slowly pulling the headphones off, Mark was still pouting as he played with his fingers. Now that I think about it, this guy is pretty adorable… adorably stupid.

‘Are you going to make fun of me now or?’ He asks softly, avoiding eye contact. Though now that I think about it, we never really made eye contact.

‘Not really. For fuck’s sake I choked on a goddamn flaxseeds muffin—‘

‘Oh my, you died from being healthy?’ Mark laughs, which to my surprise, had me smiling at his rather contagious laugh. Shamelessly nodding at his words, I then asked him a question I’ve been meaning to ask since seeing that video.

‘Tell me, how is it even possible to die like that?’ I asked as I crossed my arms. His bright smile instantly dropped; his facial expression alone could tell that he had no answer to your question. Feeling kind of bad for the kid, I told him to let it go, which for some reason, made him somewhat relieved. Believe or not though, I ended up talking to Mark for the whole plane ride. He was born and raised in Canada, and studied mechanical engineering… until he became friends with drug dealers and got high on a weekly basis. I also found out that his laugh is the funniest thing about the cute guy. As for my side, I ended up telling him about how I was an art teacher at an international school in Australia. But of course, I ended up making the art pieces for the students once they paid me. Now that I think about, maybe there is a reason to why I am destined to go to hell. Nonetheless, I made a friend on my way to Hell 127, how fucked up yet cool is that.

‘Alright pussies and cocks, we will shortly arrive to your destination: Hell 127.’

a/n: that’s chapter 1 everyone! mark and __________ already got to know each other, but this is just the beginning of one chaotic fluffy story ya’ll. if you’re interested in this fic, let me know that you want to be added to the taglist <3

taglist: @ta3ilmoon​ @lelenoir​ @murasakillmepls​

back to materlist?

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #329

“i keep it all inside because i know that man is everything but kind”

What is the best thing about your life right now? Uhhhhh... I guess from a realistic standpoint, my partial hospitalization program. I'm learning very important coping skills and have some social interaction almost every day. How was your second serious relationship different from your first? Did you approach relationships differently with some experience under your belt? My first serious relationship was made deeper than what was safe because I was 100% obsessed with him; meanwhile, with Sara, I feel I loved her in a wiser way and with a sense of self still present. I was definitely more hesitant to "let" myself fall in love again, though, and was very insecure at the start. Whose death affected you the most? My dog's, Teddy. What was the best time you’ve had with a complete stranger? I don't exactly make a habit of hanging out with complete strangers... Who has seen you at your absolute worst? How did your relationship change afterwards? Mom, Jason, Girt, and Colleen, probably. Girt showed up at the ER after my overdose (I was a dramatic fuck and wrote a suicide note on Facebook so I didn't just... go without telling some people things I definitely wanted to), and that's when my crush on him really kicked into gear again. He was and is just always there for me through everything. For Jason, I am quiiiiiiiite sure seeing me have an absolute catatonic breakdown the night of the breakup just pushed him away more. I probably looked crazy. Colleen also showed up at the ER after my suicide attempt, and it brought us closer. Then there's Mom, who's, you know, my mom, and my darkest times have always grown our incredible bond, too, because she would never fail to be there for me. What’s your favorite planet? Saturn is dope. What’s your favorite pasta dish? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs. What color do you really want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, light/creamsicle orange, and silver, but there are more. What’s your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue or emerald green. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Um, I don't break into places. What’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Sara gets super squeaky, bouncy, and just in general wordlessly excited at reptile shows. Going with her to one is one of my favorite memories, mostly just by watching her. Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Have I ever been (awake) with friends past 3AM...? Idk. Do you have a favorite coffee shop? Describe it! Not a coffee gal. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Sara. (: When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Now THERE'S a fuckin question. I don't have the slightest idea. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today? Thunderstorms; definitely not. Have you ever been to a Pride festival? No, but I'd love to. How open are you with your parents? I don't tell everything to my dad (though I know I could), but I'm an open book with Mom. Is there anything you’re more open about on the internet (such as on LiveJournal) than you would be in “real life”? I guess my sexual history. I'm just in general pretty open online. What is the most petty thing you’ve ever done? Oh, I'm CERTAIN it involves Jason after the breakup, but I don't know the "most"... What is the longest you’d be willing to wait to have sex in a new relationship? I myself don't want to until we're clearly serious and long-term by that point, and I know for a fact they're in love with me like I am them. I don't care how long they want to wait, though. I said in a previous survey that sex just... isn't that important to me. It's not my most cherished form of intimacy. Who has had the most positive effect on your life? My mama. Are there any relatives that you are not on speaking terms with? What happened? Most of the family doesn't talk to my aunt's literally psychotic, manipulative fuck of an ex-husband. I don't feel like it's my business to share exactly what happened, but yeah, fuck him with a chainsaw. :^) Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? It was more like an open invitation to all of her friends, but I guess you could say Summer. I did. I honestly wanna hang out again. Have you ever had to take a stool or urine test? Why did you have to do this? Urine ones, yes: to 1.) test for UTIs and 2.) ensure I wasn't pregnant before surgery. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? Not every day, no. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I don't. It was probably something with few controls, like this Barbie horse riding game my sisters and I loved, or an Elmo game that we had on a demo disc. I think you had to follow a path on a pogo stick picking up letters? We had a PS1 when I was born, so that was my first. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? By "video," I'm going to assume you're not including the computer, in which case I think it was The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon, which I was playing alone. It does have a two-player option though that I wanna do one day. The controls are definitely meant for two people. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There is no disc. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I always leave it on... Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? Hm, I don't believe so. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? It was definitely some sort of graphic tee on Facebook, I'm sure. It was something with an opossum design and a short phrase. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? The most recent vet visit was when we got Roman neutered. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I DID fish, yeah. Not because I was afraid to touch the fish, but because I was afraid of nicking myself with the inevitably dirty hook. Did you go to daycare when you were little? Only very briefly; my incredible separation anxiety from my mom made it extremely difficult. She very quickly chose our neighbors as my and my sisters' babysitters. I could handle that because I loved "Uncle Donny," the granddad of the family, and I could see my house from their front door. He was/is (idk if he's still alive) a wonderful man. Do you know what you’d have been named had you been born the opposite sex? No. Would you ever visit a nude beach? NOOOOOOOO THANK YOU. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Where is your favorite place to be kissed other than the usual place? Don't touch my neck if you don't have free time lmaooo. What is your favorite memory with one of your grandparents? I'm going to be completely honest: I have none that are exceptionally important to me. I only knew one grandmother most of my life, and we had a turbulent relationship. Would you date someone who has cheated in their previous relationships? Naaaaah son. What was the most drastic change you made to your appearance? Chopping 8+ inches of hair off. Is there anything you hope your significant other/future significant other never finds out about you? No. I don't want to keep secrets from them above all others. What are most of your Facebook posts about? If you're talking things I actually compose myself and not share, probably pictures of my pets, haha. Or small statements regarding political issues or mental health. What’s your favorite part of the song that you’re listening to? The beat. Who was the last person you got into a small argument with? Probably my mom, idk. How warm do you like your showers/baths to be? Pretty hot. In the past year, have you lost weight or gained weight? How much? Gained... and I'd rather not share. What year was the last car you rode in/drove? I have zero clue, but it's old. What’s your worst/funniest experience with one of your neighbors? The neighbors at my childhood home had two wonderful rottweilers, but one day they got loose and killed at least one of our kittens. It died in my hands. Mom was fucking livid and sobbing. Besides this occasion though, we got along with them. How much alone time is too much for you before you start going crazy and want to be around people? It depends on the day, really, and how entertained I am in my alone time. Generally, one day of total isolation (from people, anyway) is enough for me to want my mom's company at least or to be texting Sara. The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? A pizza roll burned my tongue just a tad. Honestly, are you shallow? Not at all. Besides clothes, shoes, and accessories, what’s your favorite thing to shop for? S N A K E S ! ! ! I could LIVE on the Morph Market website and "window shop." I love planning out the next morph I'm most interested in adopting. If you have/had any facial piercings, what side are they on? Any reason you chose that side? If you don’t have any, if you had to get a facial piercing what would it be and what side would it be on? I have a vertical labret on my lower lip that goes directly down the center of my face. I chose it because I love the symmetry. I've had my right nostril pierced twice, just because I preferred that side for whatever reason. What, would you say, is your sexiest/most provocative article of clothing? I don't own anything like that. I have zero interest in showing off my body. Do/did you have attendance problems in school? I was notoriously tardy for the first class of the day a lot because I was an absolute beast to drag out of bed all the way up to college. Does/did your parents ever go through your computer or cell phone? Mom did. What song reminds you the most of a particular day in your life? Why is that? "Where the Wild Wolves Have Gone" by Powerwolf is a strong one. I played it again and again the day Teddy was put down, even before we went to go euthanize him. It was my inspiration to one day spread his ashes at Yellowstone in wolf territory. As much as I'd love to keep his ashes forever, like, what happens after I die? And my sisters? Eventually, that container will lose meaning and probably be discarded, so I want to return him to nature. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No close ones. Who, in your opinion, is the best thriller writer? Idk. Does your Mom eat meat? Yeah. Do you prefer thick or thin crusted pizza? THICK. Thin crust is an utter disappointment. Do you have any friends with the same name as you? No. Who has the prettiest middle name you know? Ha, I mention Alon a lot when it comes to beauty... I can't remember what it is, but I do know hers wins. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? No. It makes me go to bed earlier. Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​ No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are there any shows that your friends seem to be obsessed with, but that you just don’t get? Oh, loads. How old was the last child that you spoke to? She's six. What’s a song that makes you feel happy? "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, for one. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? It depends, but generally kinda far. Do you always smile for pictures? With other people, yes. Some selfies, no, but usually. What are you most excited about right now? my MOTHERFUCKIN tattoo appointment in MAY!!!!!!!!!!! Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? Window seat, zero doubts. Where would you like to volunteer? I wanna help at an animal rehab. What was the last thing you ate? A strawberry and grain granola bar thing. How do you find new music? Usually YouTube recommendations. What’s your favorite city? I don't have one. What makes your bedroom special to you and what is your favorite part about it? It's a total nests of my various interests. My favorite part is my meerkat collection. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you shave your legs more than once a week? God no. I haven't shaved my legs since October lmao. Would you get married if you could right now? Definitely not right now. I don't have a job or my own place. What is your favorite type of jewelry (i.e. bracelets, necklaces, etc.)? Chokers. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was wholeheartedly in love with him. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I've never stayed in a bad one, to my recollection. Have you ever gone on a boat and been sick the whole time? No. Have you ever kept something from the wild as a pet? A turtle for a little while, yes. Don't do that. Ever win first place for something? Yeah, a few things. What was the last thing you fell off of? Idk. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? The style in which Johnny Got His Gun is written is very confusing, but you adapt to understand it. Jumping back and forth from the past to the present can give ya some metaphorical whiplash. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No. Has anyone ever called your personality dull? Do you agree with them? No. Have you ever personally witnessed a drug deal before? Possibly. Ever have an ultrasound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I can't remember what they were checking for, but I was fine. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Colleen's house, yes. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? Nope; got no interest. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah, not for me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? Only if it's cool out, in which case yeah. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Not anymore. I just think about the terrified animals (wild and pets alike) and traumatized veterans. Do you enjoy tanning? Not at all. Which of the seven deadly sins do you commit the most? Sloth. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Yeah. Creepy fuckers. How long was your first relationship? I actually don't remember how long Aaron and I were together... other than it was just a few months. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad, generally speaking. Romantically, Jason. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? I don’t know. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Yeah. What did the last key you used go to? The car's trunk. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I honestly do wish I remembered my "first time" because that's a pretty big deal to me. What’s your biggest priority right now? My mental health. If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? I've done that numerous times, and given there was nothing good on the TV ever, I just slept time away or read. Since every time I was suicidal, there were very, very few things you were allowed to have. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW no. Are your hands unsteady? Yes; I have what's called an essential tremor in both. Are your legs long or short? They're proportional to my body. Is there a bookshelf in your room? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I've never done it. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yeah, my sisters in the past. Is there anything you need to talk about with someone? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? My mom. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Korn. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Maybe snakebites. Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? Nah. I only ever really did once or twice when I had snake eyes. Honestly, have you ever purchased something, worn it, and then returned it? Possibly? If you could have your own house anywhere in the world, where would it be? In the mountains in a nicely wooded area with a waterfall close by. It'd be nice to have a small stream or pond too to sit or swim in. If you could create a holiday - what would it be? I wish the legalization of gay marriage in America was a legitimate holiday. Are you shy about singing in front of people? OHHHHH YES. Do you own a robe? Do you sleep with a sleep mask? No.

[period-dramallama]

A skim read of jean plaidy’s St Thomas Eve

For @thalassodromid bc this is our Niche

General thoughts on quality (TLDR)

-First off, I should give this book something of a pass because it was written 60+ years ago. Historical research, like science, Marches On.

-I skimmed it because i was not loving the style. There’s very little description, the pacing feels like This Happened And Then This Happened. With this story, you should have a sense of the stakes, the tension. It lacks atmosphere.

-This book really didn’t spark much emotion in me. I was heartwarmed and amused, but never frightened, horrified, fascinated or upset. I felt no panic when Meg got the sweat. 

-Honestly i was so bored I started wondering if maybe this is too difficult a story to tell, because i came in loving these historical figures and wanting content. How bored must the unobsessed reader be?

-Show don’t tell, Jean! Don’t tell me everyone’s very upset, show me them upset. Don’t tell me Meg loves Thomas, show their bond. Don’t tell me everyone loves Thomas for his honesty, show me him helping his neighbours.

-To be fair, there’s a lot to get through in 260 pages.

-I just love how historical fiction pulp novels have Book Club questions at the back. It just feels rather cocky, imo. Like you think your book is Deep enough for me to sit and ponder the characters. Like there was a question that was something like: “do you prefer Katherine of Aragon or Anne Boleyn” which was kind of hilarious because the whole book it was Poor Loyal Old Ugly Katherine and Six Fingered Anne Boleyn Is A Minx And Wants Thomas More Dead

Pet peeves

-at the beginning of the book, it says “Secretly Henry VII was unbothered by his wife’s death” or something along those lines. Given that Henry VII locked himself away after Elizabeth died and his mum had to step in and rule because he stopped functioning, this left a bitter taste in my mouth. Henry VII in this book is a Mean Evil Miser so of course he can’t love or be loved by a Good Woman.

-John More jnr being described as the family dunce. To be fair, maybe the book came out before we knew he was a translator too, but STILL. Don’t put John down to raise the girls up. He is valid too. 

-the language is what my old tutor would call ‘mock Tudor’. I think it was expected at the time that you had to try and make the language authentic- The Blanket of the Dark and the Man on a Donkey both use Tudor language. It really made the dialogue annoying. Lots of ‘tis and ‘twas and it was this close to beshrew me verily and hey fucking nonny nonny. Every time Alice said fuckign ‘Tilly valley’ I went AAAARGGGH. JUST HAVE HER SAY THE WORD ‘NONSENSE’. There’s a happy middle, imo, between too Tudor and too modern, and it’s quite a broad middle, you can move around a lot in it, but there are limits. 

-SPEAKING OF ALICE. Her character introduction was so good- first described as ‘an authoritative feminine voice’ *chef’s kiss* she stops a fainting Jane from being trampled at Henry’s coronation, accompanies her home and cares for her while simultaneously lowkey roasting her interior decoration. But then she becomes a bit of a caricature. When Meg gets the sweat she nags her for going near anyone who might have the sweat. The book club questions say ‘there’s more to her than meets the eye’ THEN SHOW ME MORE THAN ONE SIDE OF HER. Also Thomas loves her even though she’s ‘rude and stupid’ but Meg doesn’t understand why. Grr. 

-”mistress middleton will hear you [2 year old John] crying and box your ears” NO NO NO NO NO!

-also i get a 1950s Spanking Children Is Good Parenting vibe because Alice hits the Morelings with a slipper if they don’t study, and Tm’s described as too much of “a coward” (literally the word coward is used) to hit his children other than with peacock feathers.

-Utopia being described as an ideal state...it’s really more than that. I don’t like the idea that Meg and Thomas were okay with religious toleration but then Thomas became Consumed With Hate and he says “well religious toleration would be great in an IDEAL state...”

-Meg being horrified by heretic burning. Maybe the evidence of her views wasn’t yet available and so social mores of the 50s meant that writers and historians assumed that Of Course Being a Delicate Woman She Would Have A Natural Desire For Peace And Mercy. Grr.

-Too romancey. To be fair, Jean Plaidy wrote a lot of historical romances so maybe that’s just what she’s comfortable with (and these are historical figures that never get a chance to shine) but between Meg and Will, Clement and Mercy, Joan and Thomas, Giles and Cecily... it’s a bit like Pearl Harbour in that it’s hard to care about the cute romance when men are getting burned alive in the background. A good historical romance is more like Titanic: the lovers are directly connected with the Big Historical Events ongoing. Skip!

-in this book, Mercy thinks to herself that Meg would have Tm sign the oath, but Mercy would prefer tm to do as his conscience dictates...that feels like the wrong way round.

-Erasmus and Thomas More speaking in English...Doubt.jpeg. 

-Thomas More muses on how Complex men are because there’s Proud Cold Thomas Howard who is Soft for Simple Launderess Bess Holland...yeah given the multiple colossal power imbalances in that real-life affair, I’d be very surprised if it never strayed into abuse.

-baby Meg is a lil too precocious.

-dying Joan tells Meg to look after her father, no Joan stop I love you but don’t give a six year old responsibility, I don’t care if she’s six but acts eleven, looking after TM is Alice’s job not Meg’s. 

-Tm using the phrase ‘our little secret’ with Meg. The context is not abusive, but the phrase is so weighted, it’s like referring to something as “a final solution”: the famous meaning is too horrifying to feel comfortable with that combination of words in any context at all. 

-Joan’s younger sister being described as beautiful and flirtatious, and the whole bit about More fancying the younger sister but going for the older out of honour. The book says that More’s fascination with joan’s sister is the reason he realised he couldn’t be a priest. Given Joan’s 16, her sister’s 15 at the oldest, possibly 14. So a 26 year old can’t be a priest because he’s lusting after a 14-15 year old girl who is attractive and who has been flirting with him. Squick. 

-also no mention of erasmus at the end of tm’s life. Boo. I think a dude in the tower would think about his BFF of 30+ years who he hasn’t seen for 10+ years 

Good bits

-It’s obviously unintentional, but given how the word ‘gay’ has changed, i gave a little cheer every time a character was described as gay. Cecily and John are both gay, Thomas More is very gay, and later in the book wishes he could go back to being gay again. Loving the accidental representation 

-”a boy who is not worth the tossing” i have a dirty mind ok

-Joan getting something of a personality! She even feels insecure because she’s a normal person stuck in a family of geniuses.

-George Boleyn is described as being ‘a bright boy’ and later the girls joke that if they meet him they’ll probably fall in love THIS SO REFRESHING. Otoh, Mary Boleyn is slutshamed and Anne is a scheming minx so the double standard does spoil it a little. 

-Thomas More makes puns! At one point Alice says “more’s the pity” and then immediately says “don’t you dare make a pun out of that. i know u will. DON’T I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR PUNS” Granted, Plaidy stresses that his wit is never cruel or mocking (Doubt.jpeg) but i think this is maybe the funniest More. 

-It acknowledges the heretic burning! Not bad for 1950-something. At the end there’s a sort of Hm Thomas More Is A Complex Dude How Do We Approach Him page from H8′s POV.

-More’s father getting all misty-eyed when his son becomes Chancellor

-Henry VIII kissing tm’s forehead

-the flogging of the mentally ill upskirter being depicted

-Wolsey not being a caricature but a worldly and practical man. He’s explicitly described as “not a bad man”

-”He [TM] was no Erasmus, who, having thrown the stone that shattered the glass of orthodox thought, must run and hide himself lest he should be hurt by the splinters” not a very fair way to depict Erasmus (as he spent a lot of the last decades of his life arguing against Luther and trying to mediate between religious factions, esp in Basel) However, I like the metaphor

-Meg talking about how she and her sisters will always compare men unfavourably to their father... understandable.

-More explaining why Heretic Burning is Good Actually is done well

-Meg pointing out that More and Erasmus both criticised the Church, only it’s a bit half-baked because More never experiences any doubt or crisis over it. 

-Meg being torn between the Lutheran and the Catholic men she loves is at least some conflict and stakes when it finally shows up.

-Alice standing trial for dogknapping on page 195. A Big Lipped Alligator Moment, and I’ve no idea the source (i doubt Plaidy would make it up completely, it’s so out of nowhere) but it’s fun. It feels like one of More’s ‘merry tales’

“[Erasmus] read aloud to Thomas when he came home; and sometimes Thomas would sit by his friend’s bed with Margaret on one side of him and Mercy on the other; he would put an arm about them both, and when he laughed and complimented Erasmus so that Erasmus’ pale face was flushed with pleasure, then Margaret believed that there was all the happiness in the world in that room.” my emotions! my emotions! my ship is sailing, i repeat, the ship is sailing!

-”Meg, this is one of the happiest days of my life. it is a day I shall remember on the day i die. i shall say to myself when i find death near me: ‘the great erasmus said that of my daughter, my meg.’”

-”So the King likes verses!” said mistress middleton, her voice softening a little. 

“Ah, madam,” said Thomas. “What the King likes today, may we hope Mistress Middleton will like tomorrow?” Do I smell... flirtation...

-”His face was pleasant and kindly, [Alice] concluded....She would like to feed him some of her possets, put a layer of fat on his bones with her butter.” Does this version of Alice have a feeding kink I definitely think, in this ‘verse, Tm and Alice are 100% having sex.

-John Colet’s in it, though described as tm’s confessor (who i think was actually grocyn or linacre)

-Alice clearing a path for a fainting Jane with “Stand aside, you oafs.” alexa, play X gon give it to you. 

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to Part 2 out of 3 of the Union Comeback Season Premiere Episode (title under construction, part 1 here). Right off the bat, let me just admit what everyone is thinking, yes, mass-deleting default replacements was clearly a huge mistake. Looking good in the heart boxers, boys, especially Jojo! Very on brand and not at all ridiculous. On a lesser but equally annoying note, our windows have suddenly turned red while the exterior AND interior of the house are purple. Dark days ahead..

..but not for Goro, who has returned home since running away and is immediately being kicked out again. Good to see you Goro, now pack up your shit, D’vorah won the cat heir position so it’s time for you to move to Melody and Daniel’s farm.

-Well I’m a cat so I don’t have any possessions to pack.

Thank you for providing an example of why you lost the cat heirship via this painfully boring reaction to the news of your defeat.

-No, he’s right, we cats don’t have any possessions to pack.

Omg D’vorah shut up. How on earth you boring flops are Alegra/Ronroneo’s grandchildren AND Sophie’s children I’ll never understand. I’m this close to making Maxx the cat heir and he’s not even a cat.

-Correct, I’m a dog.

Worst group of pets e v e r. 

Oh look who autonomously woohooed for the first time in a century, I guess those base game heart boxers were simply too hot to resist. If one of you gets knocked up a week away from elderhood I’m gonna have a meltdown the likes of which the world has never seen.

-For the love of God, can we get some privacy here?

I’d love nothing more than to give you two bozos eternal privacy by never looking at either of you again, but the headmaster is here for Wulf so put some clothes on-

-WHAT THE FUCK. Why do we keep getting new headmasters instead of the ones we’ve already terrorized into submission?? Now we have to ‘show BJ a good time’ and ‘maybe we could give BJ a tour’, I’d honestly rather give BJ a bj and get this shit over with, I’m tired of threatening headmasters with murder. Hopefully it doesn’t come to sexual favors but if it does, Wyatt, you’re up. 

-Pourquoi moi???

Pourquoi toi still haven’t gotten promoted and toi sleep 22 hours a day, it’s high time toi pulled your weight around here. 

Good, that’s the spirit.

-Bonjour, monsieur Headmastér! I wòuld introdûce yoù to Wûlf but hé is très busý with unpàid çhild labόr.

-Haha, what a hilarious joke, Mr. Union!

-Alright Cinderello, after you’re done cleaning the flooding shower you’re going to need to jump out the second floor window and go study in the crypt, so the headmaster doesn’t see you and ask you any uncomfortable questions about whether I acknowledge you as my son. I have to go help your father charm our guest by giving my trademarked speech on how I never got impregnated by aliens and what a blow it was to humanity’s future. 

-Ok Mr. Jojo!

-For the last time Wulf, it’s not ‘Mr. Jojo’, it’s ‘Mr. Union’. God.

-Ah hello there Headmaster BJ, apologies for my lateness, I was tucking little Wulf in bed because I definitely acknowledge him as my son. As I do all 3 of my children and not just Cyneswith. Ask anyone! But not Wulf or whatshername.. I want to say Shenar? Anyway, now that that’s been cleared up, what are we talking about here? The fact I never got impregnated by aliens and what a terrible blow it was to humanity’s future? I assumed as much.

-Haha aliens?! Well you are just a family of crack ups, does your son share this amazing sense of humor?

-Oh yes yes he definitely does, and he is definitely OUR son, that’s exactly how I view him as well, not solely as Wyatt’s offspring just because he appears to not have a drop of my DNA. I mean who even cares about that? Not me, that’s for certain. Yes, Wulf was just telling me the funniest joke while I was reading Cinderella to him before I put him to bed-

-Man, it’s so hard to concentrate on math with a broken leg from jumping out the window and Grandpa’s disembodied head floating around.

Grandpa’s disembodied head?? 

OH FUCK KOMEI

-What?

Nothing! Looking good! The decision to delete default replacements didn’t affect you in any way!

-Thank god, have you seen Vic with that base game hair? Talk about scary. 

Yes, talk about scary indeed. Do you happen to know if the matchmaker performs the occasional exorcism?

-No idea.

Well she hates me anyway so that was solution was dead in the water. I have to go back to the headmaster fuckery now, but I want you to know I’m really sorry for what Salome did to you. 

-Sό, monsieur Headmastér, the όnly tràck reçord which est bettér than the όne we havé with bébés wόrking, est the oné we havé with our animàls rûnning awaý!

-Oh my.

-He’s joking, he’s joking Headmaster BJ, we’re both excellent pet owners and excellent parents, if you’ll excuse me the phone is ringing-

-Cyneswith darling! An adult bartender is calling for you and he has the Komei face! You might be 14 but he’s clearly future husband material!

-Be right there, daddy!

-Alright, I think I’ve seen enough here.

No you haven’t! Wyatt, take off your robe!

-No need, I’ve made up my mind..

-..you’re obviously a perfect match for our school! 

What the hell? How? Even by our standards we legit didn’t do shit.

-Headmaster Jitmakusol left a very distraught letter regarding your family before he was institutionalized, the gist of it being it is pointless to try and keep you people out of the school, and his successor should simply ‘roll with it’. 

Well ok then! Pleasure doing business with you, BJ.

-The pleasure was all mine, please don’t ever contact me again.

We’ll make sure to be in touch.

In the meantime, Komei has recovered his body!

-Why me? WHY ALWAYS ME? CYNESWITH IS RIGHT THERE

-Sorry honey, we play poker for it every night and Victor won dibs on Cyneswith.

-That’s right, the first one to scare everyone gets ghost-bingo!

Are you fuckers playing ghost-poker or ghost-bingo?

-It’s a hybrid, we have a lot of time on our hands, being dead and all, so we developed an overcomplicated gambling system for our scares. 

Yea ok congrats Victor, now can you fuck off before you actually do kill one of the kids?? They have 10/10/9 energy, they literally never sleep.

-No can do, if you actually kill someone you get Yahtzee!

How many fucking games are involved in this bullshit?

-We told you, we have a lot of time on our hands. SUCK IT VICTOR, I WIN FOR THE NIGHT

Win for the night? Who cares about that, you have Wyatt cornered, go for the Yahtzee!

-Oh, but you said our games were bullshit!

That’s before I realized Wyatt was awake for his allotted 2 hours per day non-sleeping time. Wyatt istfg bro, are you half French-Arab and half panda?

-Pandàs eàt for 14 hourès idiόt, ne pas slèèp.

Well look who knows a suspicious amount about pandas now! Almost like he’s descended from them.

Oh good, everyone’s favorite couple simultaneously has the day off. How about I take you two out for a nice date at Londoste since you’re about 55 years old?

-How about hard pass on that architectural monstrosity of a restaurant and we hang out for 6 hours in our front yard instead?

-Oui, oui! Très blanc garbagè of us!

Well at least we’re not forgetting our roots. 

Alright then, we’ve crossed into white trash territory unironically with the yard pda and we’re also freezing to death, how about we take this inside?

-Non!

-Yes, non indeed! I love how frozen your hands are, dear, it’s like you’re a real corpse!

Oh my G-

-Catch me, Creature!

-Je t'aime, dr. Frankènstèin! 

Ok, new suggestion, how about instead of going inside we visit a nice church?

-How abοùt you lôôk awày, pervertir!

Bold words from someone doing Frankenstein roleplay, and I’D LOVE TO, but the kids are at school and the animals are sleeping, so there’s no looking away from whatever the fuck this is. 

Oh thank god, Cyneswith is back from school and ready to cockblock her parents as always. First time I’m genuinely happy to see you, Cyn.

-Straight A’s again! Ah, we may only have one child but she is THE BEST. Wyatt dear, come here to congratulate Cyneswith and further inflate her ego. Wyatt?

-Why is he ignoring my straight A’s, daddy?! 

-Ugh, he’s probably jealous since everyone is jealous of you, darling. Pay him no mind, let’s go inside so I can give you the diamond tiara I got you for your birthday.

-But my birthday is in four months, what will you get me then?

-A throne to go with it and anything you want from Sihara’s and the other one’s rooms?

-They have no rooms, remember? They both sleep in the crypt.

-Right, well how about I act like I got them presents, give them to you and make them watch as you unwrap them?

-Aw daddy💗

-Je ne pas fèèl bien..

Yes, you’re dying, so it’d be some real Frankenstein shit if you did feel bien.

Is this Komei-clone bartender serious, first he calls while the headmaster is over, now he calls while we’re dying, FEEL THE FUCKING ROOM PAL

..and there we go. RIP Wyatt, it’s been sorta ok having you in the fami-

-WTF HOW ARE YOU ALIVE

-HA. I lièd, I AM hàlf pandà and mon beàr gènes protéct moi! 

GODDAMMIT I KNEW IT. Is that why the one child you gave birth to is your exact clone?

-Oui! Wulf est 1/4 pandà, et toi wènt et namèd him WULF. 

Well, to be fair, not a lot of famous pandas I could have named him after even if I knew. 

-Toi çould hàve namèd him Pandà!

Oh man, Panda Union does have a nice ring to it, especially next to the other names.. ~Shajar~, ~Cyneswith~ and PANDA. Thanks a lot for depriving me of the opportunity by withholding your genetic info.

-Je think Wulf est ontό it.. 

Onto the fact he’s 1/4 panda? I highly doubt that.

Yea nevermind, he knows. 

Oh great, Shajar has brought yet another uggo with a culturally appropriative hairstyle home from school. 

-That’s what you get for letting her out of the crypt.

Give it a rest, Jojo, we’ve had enough of your incredible parenting to last us 10 lifetimes at this point. 

-And then it goes: I send the thunder from the sky, I send the fire raining down, I send a hail of burning ice, on every field, on every town! I send the locusts on a wind, such as the world has never seen, on every leaf, on every stalk, until there's nothing left of green! I send my scourge, I send my sword, THUS SAITH THE LORD🎵

-Great, thank you, Shajar, for singing the entirety of the ‘10 Plagues’ song from The Prince of Egypt 27 times. I’m really sorry but I have to go home now-

-It-was-nice-to-meet-you noogie!

..Shajar, please, PLEASE see a doctor. 

-My sister Shajar may be super popular, spoiled and beloved-

WHAT LMAO

-but I have the friendship of animals and that’s all that matters!

Yea, Cyn, no offense, but it feels like you’re trying to cultivate an underdog Disney princess persona for yourself that is the exact opposite of actual family dynamics around here.

-What makes you say that?

Your tiara and throne vs Shajar sleeping in the crypt come to mind.

-So to be an underdog you need to be a loser?

I mean narrative-wise kinda, yea. 

-Message received. 

No, no that wasn’t a message-

-Yes it was and I got you, loud and clear.

Oh god.

-WHAT? YOU’RE REJECTING ME BECAUSE I’M TOO PRETTY? MY HEART IS BROKEN! I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER GET OVER THIS

-Uh, who are you again? Shajar invited me over, ordered a pizza and has been hiding in the bushes for 1 hour waiting to noogie the delivery guy. 

-I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M HEARING! I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SING ABOUT THIS IN AN ENCHANTED FOREST FOR ABOUT 3 AND A HALF MINUTES

Jfc, where are the ghosts when you need them. 

-Mommy has dibs on you tonight, Jojo! 

-Mom please no! Your hair is so damn hideous! Just stay in your urn until the default replacement has been put back!

-Ah excellent, I have upgraded my robotic abilities up to cleanbot level! 

That actually is excellent, I really want us to fire Kaylynn. 

-Cleanbots don’t change cat litter. 

..UGH then why even bother, Jojo? The cat shit is 90% of our problems, make something that fixes that or stop wasting airtime with your nonsense. Istg some people. 

-Alright sis, how about we go out again tonight and ~play the field~? If I get rejected by a couple more mean boys I can earn my underdog princess badge!

-You are so stupid, Cyneswith, if you want to earn your underdog badge all you need to do is board a doomed ship, Titanic style, and then give the floating door to someone you’ve known for a couple of days while you selflessly and pointlessly drown in the freezing ocean despite the fact you could take turns sharing the door.

-But then I would be dead.

-I know right? Everybody wins. Let’s go get you some tickets.

Yea, let’s not, but let’s get out of here because the ghosts are out of fucking control and you two aren’t sleeping anytime soon.

-Shaj-and-Cyn-in-da-club noogie!

Shajar FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ENOUGH. 

OMG IT’S SOPHIE MIGUEL. SOPHIE MIGUEL IN THE HOUSE

-Whaddup dildos, ‘tis I, Sophie fucking Miguel, the meanest townie teen there is. I’ve only taken 4 steps into this place and I can already tell I’m surrounded by a bunch of beta turbocucks. 

SHAJAR GO TALK TO HER!!!!!

-HEY BITCH, I’M NOT A BETA TURBOCUCK, I’M ALPHA AS FUCK. I’M NAMED AFTER SHAJAR AL-DURR! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS?

SHAJ WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, WHAT IS THIS APPROACH

-Of course I do, the first Mamluk Sultana of Egypt. Nice. 

OMG THAT SHIT WORKED. LAND THE PLANE SHAJ

-Ohhhhhhhh😍 Do you want to talk some more?? Do you like the 10 Plagues song from the Prince of Egypt???

-Nop, as suddenly as I came into your life, I’m dramatically getting the fuck out for no discernible reason, cause that’s just how I roll. Gone with the wind, baby! I’m like an outdoor cat. You’ll never see me again.

-Oh but I will..

YES YOU WILL SHAJ. I’m so on board this particular Titanicesque crackship that it’s un.real. I mean Sophie Miguel literally came into this place, talked to Shajar for less than one minute and then left the bar entirely, in turn leaving us dick in hand. What.an.icon.

In the meantime Cyneswith.. did this. Game-changing night for everyone!

[sevi007]

Sevi experiences YGO: DSOD

 Promised a rambling, and ramble I will! Took notes of what stood out to me while watching, so, have a jumbled of hyped thoughts here guys! =D:

* The animation is so amazing! I love it!

 * More grown-up Yugi looks so much like the pharaoh – but somehow still like himself – it’s like… a mixture. Makes me both nostalgic and so very proud of Yugi. He used to be this nervous, chubby-cheeked kid, and now he’s… all grown up! He’s even holding a SPEECH! Boy’s a man now! So proud. =D

 * It’s kinda weird to here Tea and Joey call the Pharaoh “Atem” now – they didn’t get to use his name for long before he left, it’s still so new to me that hearing it like that is… weird XD  

 * Diva – or Aigami – has an interesting design, looks-wise as well as his drive and goal. It especially the later reminds me of Yami Bakura (initially) and Marik both. Poor kid who wants to change the world with his power, wants the pharao’s power for it? Yeah, I see both of them in there. The mix makes it just unique enough to be interesting though. (Also, his powers are quite unique. I like them!)

  * I actually love that the dreams and goals of the characters from way, way back in the series were picked up again and it shows them going for them after the whole Millenium Battle is over. Tea becoming a dancer, Ryou living his life without a ghost taking over all the time, Tristan working with technical stuff, Joey still a passionate duelist all the way, Yugi planning to design games… I’m so happy they focused on that. It all was ignored completely during the series - predictably, but still, it made up a lot of their character, and that was just never developed during the series… I’m happy they are doing it now, at least.

 * Kaiba is still… well, Kaiba. It’s actually kinda reassuring to have his snark and pride right there – refusing even to be sent into a different dimension by magic by just… not wanting to. (Okay, by his new technical advancement, but you know what I mean.) Or calling back a god who was not even supposed to exist anymore. “It’s no monster – it’s a god!” Nice to see some things don’t really change. XD

(You know, at least he finally accepted the magic, the pharaoh and Yugi being two different entities, and so on. That took a whole damn long time, okay.)

  * Dimension summoning? Really? Hello? They just made up an entire new duel monster summoning for one movie instead of a whole series. Okay then. (I like it, I was just speechless for a second.)

  * Nice to see that Bakura’s trauma of having been the vessel to a murderous ghost – forced to kill people with his body, but no chance of stopping it – is actually addressed. Painful to watch, but very nice that it isn’t just glossed over. (Also, Ryou is just… so sweet and good. There’s a guy trying to kill him, and he… feels sorry. Com’ on, give the guy some slack already!)

  * Not really happy how they turned the story of Bakura’s father though – he was supposed to be just a naïve guy who didn’t know what the Millenium ring was and ultimately, a good guy. Here he was… just a crazed, greedy dude, asking for the ring even when his worried son was right beside him. And anyway, wasn’t Shadi still alive much later? He met Yugi – a teenage Yugi – before he was killed. I am confusion  

  * Pharaoh not only appearing in the great finale, but also to help Joey out… you know what? I’m gonna go ahead and think he’s just constantly watching over his friends, only appearing to help when it’s absolutely necessary – choosing to let them handle it themselves as long as they can because he believes in them. (It’s also interesting to note that in Ancient Egypt, pharaohs who went to the afterlife were believed to become gods – so technically? Atem’s a god now. Basically explaining why he can still influence the living world if he wants to.)

  * “Back off, or we’re gonna have a problem!” – can I once again point out how proud I’m of Yugi? Yelling at Kaiba? Threatening him? Making him chance his mind? (That’s like a miracle in itself) I want to hug Yugi. HE’S SO GROWN UP NOW

  * I like how Yugi’s – and Kaiba’s – monsters are still the same at the core, but got a little glow-up fitting for the new animation and new story. Nice mix of nostalgia and hype for the new stuff!  

  * Does “Cool motive, still murder” apply to Diva, too? I see where’s coming from – I feel sorry for him - but if someone has the power to chance reality itself why go around and send “bad people” to another dimension, instead of going around and bringing good things into existence? I’m just saying. (Shadi, I’m looking at you, too. Never really liked your methods, either.)

  * Kaiba not realizing that Yugi is right there and he could have him as his rival – the guy who beat the pharaoh after all – is also… just very Kaiba. It took an entire series of over 200 episodes for him to accept that there is magic, there are rebirths (he was one of them) and now it takes kicking his ass for another few years until he realizes that Yugi is the rival he is looking for. Sigh. XD

  * “You really hate dragons, don’t you” – no I more hate that Kaiba gets the funniest lines all the time. XD

  * Yugi solving the puzzle and nothing happening… I think what hurt the most was that Yugi didn’t look surprised. He was absolutely calm. He knew all along. He knew very well, because he was the one who felt pharaoh’s passing the most. He had to live with that every day and he had accepted that all along. Not like Kaiba, who was still chasing after – well, a ghost.

That was so well done – especially given that the series was sometimes unnecessarily dramatic. Here, it wasn’t. It was completely silent as it told you “He’s not coming back (fully) guys”.

  * “Well, he has looked better” – “I’m getting really tired of that laugh” - again, Kaiba with the freaking lines.

  * Kaiba sacrificing himself to have Yugi win – look, sometimes I want to slap him, but honestly, he’s not that bad of a guy. How many times has he done something like that now? He always comes through in the end.

  * Not even embarrassed to say I had tears in my eyes when Atem made an appearance. I was a kid when I watched the final episode. Seeing him return in such a fashion - in almost complete silence, no words needed there, not fully returning, but only a support for Yugi – I’m emotional, okay. That’s my childhood coming by to say hello. (Also, Yugi wasn’t just along for the ride – they were doing this together. Made it even better.)

  * “How is he doing?” – that’s probably the best reaction they could have had to that. Not “Is he coming back?” or “Will we see him again?” Nah, just is he okay?

  * EVERYONE GOT THEIR NEW BEGINNINGS and Kaiba literally just went back in time. Is there anything he can’t do? Is there someone who can stop him? AND HE JUST SAID THANK YOU TO MOKUBA. Out loud! On cam! He has lost his mind! Where will this madness end?! XD (I’m kidding)

 Ah well. I’m happy everyone is gonna be alright and happy. This was a fantastic way to say hello again and goodbye to all of them at the same time. I’m absolutely hyped and delighted by this entire movie. =D

[torunarigha]

i made this the other night and honestly its not as cringe as i thought it would be! its a get to know the hertha players + my dumb commentary...

hertha squad smash or pass bc apparently i’m already too exhausted from school work to have a brain

1. Thomas Kraft:

Legend against Frankfurt, sexy saves, but pass

12. Dennis Smarsch

tall and large boi™, our future when he shapes up, pass bc he’s always posting cute shit with his gf (also gives off basic white boy vibes)

22. Rune Jarstein

octopus KING, saves my life every game, along with sala my first favorite player, smash the saves, pass on the father of three daughters (me and his two actual ones)

13. Lukas Klünter

squirrel man from köln that was the fastest runner in the bundesliga last year, was called most consistent man under covic and now is less so, i want him to SHINE but i also want him to stay with us forever bc i’m selfish, i cannot explain but smash 1000000%, e v e r y t h i n g . 

17. Maxi Mittelstädt

square faced spandau berliner boy!!! i call him maxi n cie after the quebecois grocery store but that’s neither here nor there. he’s still got some work to do but he’s getting so much better and i’m SO proud of him. more my son than anything so pass for now (emphasis on for now...)

20. Dedryck Boyata

honestly what a cute and beautiful man. killer defender (we miss you! get well soon!) if it wasn’t for man city comment and connection might be smash...but looking at this pic i just want to hug him...so pass (when he comes back with them sexy tackles that answer might change)

21. Marvin Plattenhardt

poor marvin...only call up was for the world cup 2018 (why i’m putting germany jersey pic here). free kick skills through the roof when it happens and solid player...pass bc not my type. 

25. Jordan Torunarigha

what a man WHAT A MAN! he is an INCREDIBLE defender, a MYSTERIOUS instagram caption maker, and a HEART that beats more blue and white than anyone in the world. i can’t wait to watch him flourish as an amazing german defenseman and yes that is of course a smash for my bae jordan ... 

4. Karim Rekik

ah karim...i always had mixed feelings about him as a defender but now i miss him...as a person i always thought he was cool. he honestly has a gorgeous face and that could be a smash just for that...but i’m gonna say pass. frustration lingers.

5. Niklas Stark

ah nik...the one hertha player everyone on this site knows and loves and my one pride on the NT <3 he made me VERY MAD at the beginning of the season and that tarnished my opinion of him. but he has an incredibly attractive face and seems chill ! i think i’d smash if the chance presented itself !

11. Mathew Leckie

where on EARTH did this man go?? only Australian footy man i know...tbh completely forgot how he plays at all...the mustache ruins it for me, pass

15. Marko Grujić

sexy soft doe who makes dumb tackles sometimes! brilliant footballer, drools over the PL a little bit too much but i do love his love of liverpool. gives off sweetest man in the world vibes when off the pitch (on the pitch, quite the opposite). smash smash and more smash

16. Javairô Dilrosun

okayyyyyy this picture gives off different vibes than i normally associate with my always smiling super talented dutchboy but i’ll take it. literally would give the world for him. please stay at hertha. we love you. originally wrote smash but i cannot legally say that...too much sun/son vibes...pass my sweet legend

18. Santiago Asacibar

uggggghhh my least favorite transfer of all time. he’s ok. he’s been solid so i can’t complain. but a hard pass.

23. Arne Maier

the amount of love and affection i feel toward this berliner born in 1999 man for the amount of time he has actually played in the last while is...incredible. please don’t be a dumb bitch and move and that all the headlines were just made up. you’ve been injured !! be patient !! you’re too much homegrown talent for us to squander you i promise...not my normal type but smash...

3. Per Skjelbred

norwegian that gets up early and looks confused all the time. he’s been solid for us but apparently we’re selling him according to...will miss this deer in the headlights...pass

30. Marius Wolf

he just transferred sometime last season and he’s bffs with EVERYONE honestly respect but the guy freaks me out of bit...can’t explain it. super inconsistent but when he’s good he’s great. his instagram hashtag under every picture is #UNLEASHTHEWOLF ... when will he be unleashed ???? hard pass tho

6. Vladimír Darida

plays one (albeit incredible) game. twitter: BEST MAN OF THE VORRUNDE (honestly though some people’s opinions make me feel like i don’t understand this sport). he is pretty great though, not denying that. pass but respect. lots of it

8. Salomon Kalou

if this man doesn’t get a great send off i WILL riot. incredible presence on the team, nicest happiest funniest man alive. goals that he scores when he actually gets playing time ??? beautiful. couldn’t smash this man though, he’s the uncle i never had. i’ll pass him off to someone who loves him like he loves them.......

9. Alexander Esswein

couldn’t tell you much about ole essy over here...he’s not done much. he’s one of my friend’s exact type so i’ll save him for her. pass.

14. Pascal Köpke

the lad is TRYING! being the son of the NT goalkeeper coach is never easy. its hard to just be thrown on the pitch for the first time and be expected to create magic. hope he just gets better! solid pass bc his face looks like a prof of mine...yikes

19. Vedad Ibisevic

*gently strokes picture* i didn’t know how good i had it. yes i get annoyed at his aggressive testosterone-yness but lordy does he love hertha and is a good captain. i miss seeing him on the pitch and scoring those goals, saving our asses. props, old man <3 definite pass though.

27. Davie Selke

what CURSE has davie fallen victim to??? this man has no aim anymore and i miss his speedy legs and fancy goals !!!! absolute passion to sometimes ridiculous levels on the pitch but i love his heart. off the pitch, most down to earth nice sympatisch guy ever...hard smash 

28. Dodi Lukébakio

oof...OOOF. i really really REALLY like him. he shuffles cards well, his voice is so soothing, his smile is INCREDIBLE. and yeah...incredible goal scored and weaver around defenders. and so chill !!!! i hope he stays with us for a long time. smash. marry. 

BONUS

(on loan at norwich) Ondrej Duda

my heart grew three sizes when i saw this picture and now my eyes are all misty... he and sala have made my days so good when they were otherwise bad. his goalscoring last season incredible. he barely played this season at all. i don’t understand it. i hope and pray he comes back for us. duda...i love you (pass tho for the same reason as sala...)

[joyandeggs]

Hunter x Hunter for the Fandom questions! 💕😁

You have activated the trap card!!! 💓 As always, a warning for everyone because this is a very long post -

Top 5 favourite characters: Truthfully, my top five are Shoot, Knuckle, Hanzo, Kite, and Gon. The three uncles, the honorary father, and the son. ❤

Other characters you like: Too many!!! I do love Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio. Kastro I really liked from the Tournament Arc. Melody, definitely! She’s the best. And, of course, Morel. I adore Big Papa Smoke. Palm and Knov, as well. Along with Ikalgo and Meleoron. ❤ Too many good characters.

Least favourite characters: I’ll have to say Illumi and Hisoka. I like them to an extent.

Otps: I am a sucker for Nashuu. 💓 What can I say? I really like Kurapika with Leorio, too.

Notps: Don’t…ship the children with other people please.

Favourite friendships: Gon and Killua of course! They are such a good pair. Shoot and Knuckle are the bestest though. I love them too much. Honestly, I really love when Meleoron and Ikalgo get to be with Gon and the others, especially after the Chimera Ant Arc. It’s so sweet.

Favourite family: Oh, I love Gon and Aunt Mito. 💌

Favourite episodes: There are too many good ones, but you know I have to put 86. For reasons. ❤ The biggest ones for me…were 112 and…118 just becauae of how emotional they made me. Especially 112. That episode made me SOB. After I finished the episode, I had to step away from the computer to breathe, I was crying too much. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I did get really choked up.

Favourite season/book/movie: Favorite season is the Chimera Ant Arc, even though it’s also the absolute worst at the same time. Favorite book is…the very first one! I was about to say Vol 20 or Vol 25, but the very first one makes me so happy. It’s my favorite cover, too! 💚

Favorite movie I don’t have an answer for. The Last Mission was pretty good, and I know there are at least one or two more I believe? I’ve only seen one though.

Favourite quotes: I absolutely loved it when Knuckle said “Everyone has a heart. That’s what I want to believe.” And…Shoot’s whole inner monologue right before he fights. Even when Shoot explains to Killua how he doesn’t like to hurt people. I still can’t handle them, I get so emotional just thinking about them.

Best musical moment: Well…I know when Pouf plays his violin it is incredibly musical. That’s the only thing I can think of to say here! That scene is so out of place, but the music is lovely at least.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: I actually remember when I first got into Hunter x Hunter, and I saw that Hanzo got four badges in the hunting exam, literally was just cheering him on like “Yay Hanzo!!! Good job!!!” 💞 I was so happy for him!! Oh…and when Knuckle was on screen, especially when he would throw off his jacket… 💘💘💘💘💘 Every. Single. Time. My poor, weak heart. At all that fanservice. And!!! When Shoot would fight!!! I would just be mush like! 💓 I just loved seeing Shoot any moment I got, and I still do.

When it really disappointed you: I’m not going to say it because I don’t want to spoil Meve by accident, but it is a huge disapointment for me that still leaves me upset.

Saddest moment: Well… 💔 I won’t say it.

Most well done character death: Uvagin, I guess? I mean, I don’t want to say that, but Kurapika at the time…oh it was rough. 💔 The scene was well done.

Favourite guest star: Hm. Guest stars? I would say Togashi, but I’m clearly thinking about how we’ll see ONE appear in One Punch Man every now and then. Not sure if Madhouse did the same with Togashi dog or anything. – Oh shoot read that question wrong as soon as I wrote all of this, LOL! Oh, now I know who to say!! Junichi Kanemaru! 💓💓💓 He only voiced Buharu during the first season, but ahhh I absolutely adore him! Just hearing his voice again brought back great childhood memories since I know he’s Sonic. 💓 Takaya Kuroda also! He was great as Razor, but you can never not hear him as Kiryu if you know the Yakuza/Ryu Ga Gotoku series. Listening to him as another character in a completely different thing was so funny. It was nice little cameo for my ears for both of them. ❤

Favourite cast member: Yuuji Ueda! 💓💓💓💓💓💓 Of COURSE. Favorite Japanese voice actor. (Can I just say how lovely Shoot’s voice is? It’s breathtaking. 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞) Along with Wataru Takagi, who is literally one of the best Japanese voice actors ever. He is an absolute gem. 💓 And I love Megumi Han. She was always so into her character and voicing Gon, she was just so passionate for the series. She’s the best.

Character you wish was still alive: Kite. 💔 And Kastro too, he seemed like a nice guy.

One thing you hope really happens: Please just let Gon and Killua rest. Give all the characters a rest. Where’s the filler episodes where they’re all getting together and having a good time and nothing can go wrong? Where’s my dream beach vacation episode?

Most shocking twist: Kite’s death… 💔💔💔 It really makes me upset please stop I want to forget

When did you start watching/reading?: I started watching the anime around March! I’m not sure when I bought the first volume of it though. Maybe in the same month? But yeah, March 3rd is the official date! (Which I was actually trying to figure out when I was deciding a date. I watched the first episode with my love maybe a month or so before I did on my own? But March 3rd was when I started watching it from the beginning. I thought about making it March 5th because…that’s when I first watched Shoot and Knuckle be introduced. You know.)

Best animal/creature: I’m biased to Knuckle’s puppy. 😌 For creature, I like Ikalgo and Meleoron a lot. It took me a bit to warm up to them, but they’re my favorite out of the Chimera Ants.

Favourite location: Whale Island! It is such a beautiful place! If it were real, I would definitely want to visit it.

Trope you wish they would stop using: Nothing that I can think of.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: A big thing is that…it shows no matter what you go through, no matter what happens, you can definitely try again. And “you can smile again~” 🎵 All of these things slowly go more and more downhill when you follow along the adventure, but after the events of the scariest arc of the series, things do try to get better despite everything that happened during the darkest of times.

Funniest moments: I really can’t think of any super specific ones, but I know there were a lot of little moments Gon and Killua shared that cracked me up so much. Oh, when Gon hit Hanzo during their fight, and Leorio called him a liar for saying he let Gon hit him on purpose!! Ahhh the way Leorio’s voice actor did that line was PERFECT. “LIAR!!!!” I was dying! I also giggled bad at ones Shoot and Knuckle shared, ahh they’re so funny together.

Couple you would like to see: Shoot and I love the thought of Aunt Mito with Kite, for some reason? I think it’s because someone wrote a fic of them meeting, but…it’s a nice thought.

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Could you imagine if someone like Hiroki Yatsumoto voiced someone? Or Masaya Onosaka? Ahhhh or even Takahiro Sakurai! Just get Makoto Furukawa to guest star a character along with some other One Punch Man voice actors! It would be a fun time I’m sure.

Favourite outfit: I would say Knuckle. How does he stay looking so good??? His clothes never get dirty. But I do love how Pakunoda dresses. She just looks so lovely, ugghgh

Favourite item: The Hunter cards! ❤ They just look so iconic. Definitely Hotel Raffelasia. Gon’s fishing rod. And Crazy Slots!! Technically not an item himself, but Kite’s scythe is definitely the coolest weapon.

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: I do now. ❤

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race/etc would you be in?: I would love to be in the little family Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio have together. I do have to say I would want to be apart of the Extermination Team, too! What great groups of friends.

Most boring plotline: I honestly did get bored watching through the Phantom Troupe and Greed Island Arcs when I first watched Hunter x Hunter, but I really need to rewatch them. When I think back on them, I feel like I didn’t appreciate them enough. I might enjoy them more after I watch it from the beginning again.

Most laughably bad moment: Whenever Hisoka shows up and he’s just like that

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: The one during Shoot’s inner monologue, and the one of Gon meeting Kite for the first time. Definitely. Even though Gon meeting Kite was the opening for Hunter x Hunter in the manga. There’s also the one Knuckle has where my most favorite picture comes from. ❤

Most layered character: I jokingly say Shoot because my goodness that man wears layers of bandages, but he really is a layered character. There’s actually a whole bunch of layered characters throughout the series.

Most one dimensional character: I’m honestly not sure.

Scariest moment (and Grossest moment, I’m mixing both questions for my answer): When the Chimera Ants would kill people.

Best looking male: Knuckle. I love my Shoot, but…Japanese pompadoured delinquents make me swoon. They are seriously my biggest weakness. Especially him. 💘💘💘 My poor, weak heart. I can’t even look at him without melting.

Best looking female: Pakunoda and Palm. Both women are beautiful in their own way. And Melody is of course very warm and sweet, I adore how she looks. ❤

Who you’re crushing on (if any): …Shoot… ❤💍

Favourite cast moment: When Megumi Han got really emotional speaking at one of the panels for The Last Mission in front of fans. It was so genuine and sweet.

Favourite transportation: I always loved the shuttle train! When Gon and Killua used to get to the tournament, and when Morel and the others traveled together. ❤ It makes me wish I could go on long and cozy train rides to different places like that in real life.

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): When Gon was hiding out to watch Hisoka in the bushes, and the sun shown through the trees. Anytime a scene would be in a forest or in walkways of trees, really! The way the sunlight shines through the trees and leaves in patches over the vast green surrounding is just so pretty. I just love the colors, contrast, everything. Oh! And when Knuckle was punching Youpi!!! Like ahhhhhh Madhouse!!! Every once in a while in Hunter x Hunter that fluid Madhouse animation would just hit you!

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: I wish we could have seen what Kite’s other rolls (weapons) were. 💔 Along with Hanzo’s, Knuckle’s, and Shoot’s backstories! We know just a bit about Knuckle’s past, but nothing about Hanzo nor Shoot really. I would want to know why they all became hunters!

Best promo: Hm…I haven’t seen promos or anything at all for the series. This wouldn’t fit the answer I don’t think, but I loved the little “To Be Continued” ending scenes with Gon and Killua. They were so cute! I actually missed them during the Chimera Ant Arc.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Honestly, I’m not sure. I just ended up really liking it just by watching it from the beginning. Watching the first episode over at my love’s house piqued my interest in the series, but then a few weeks or so later I started watching it all the way through, and the rest was history. Everything blurs together for me because I literally blew through episodes watching them, but I had fun watching them all. And…even though the Chimera Ant Arc leaves me heartbroken and sickened, characters like Knuckle and Shoot came out of nowhere, and I was so excited to see them in such an awful part of the story. They were a breath of fresh air. And, of course…I got to meet Shoot. A character I will cherish and keep in my heart for the rest of my life. I already talk about him to death, but he came into my life at the perfect time. He gives me strength. I truly am happy I found Hunter x Hunter and just got into it.

[squidproquoclarice]

For the 20 RDR2 questions can I ask 1,4,7,11, and 16 please?

1. High honor or low honor? Why?High, always.  I admit some of this is that I have a hard time playing outright assholes.  And I do enjoy some of the Antagonize options on people like Dutch and Micah because let’s face it, even good people sometimes can say shitty things when frustrated. But for Arthur, playing generally High honor feels like the appropriate and in-character choice.  The storyline best supports him embracing the goodness in him, the kindness and concern and charity that he wants to express, but feels he can’t due to how it clashes with expectations of being a rough, tough, and sometimes brutally uncaring outlaw thug.  That conflict drives Arthur’s arc, and post-TB, his assertion of being his own man and making his own choices, rather than Dutch’s creation.  If he’s Low honor, that means that the mask of the violent, selfish thug really is all he is, and Dutch has effectively won by destroying anything else in him.  That’s a pretty shallow story with no character growth, and it makes Arthur no different from 5000 other white male protagonists we’ve already experienced who embrace their villainous behavior, ruthlessly hurt people, and make excuses for it. I think the fact that there are High honor only missions in RDR2, and no Low honor only ones, says pretty eloquently which game experience is the more fulfilling.

4. Who is the most misunderstood character?I’m going to say Mary Linton, because I see her take so much shit as a “selfish bitch” who just uses Arthur, etc.  I’ve addressed it before so I’m not gonna repeat the whole meta, but I don’t play that game, and I think it’s misogynistic to so viciously throw her under the bus as some kind of manipulative harpy because she hurt a man’s feelings.  Yeah, and he hurt hers too.  No, it’s not admirable she twists his arm to get him to help her, but I believe that she’s desperate, and she’s ashamed and awkward to ask Arthur, knowing how this makes her look.  It’s appropriate to the times when most women had fuck-all in terms of agency, and had to try to manipulate and influence the men around them with “soft power” to get anything done.  She can’t accept him as he is while he persists on following Dutch, because she knows that’s going to bring disaster into her life.  Eliza seemingly made the same choice.  They hurt and disappoint each other, over and over, because they’re two good people in an unworkable and toxic relationship.  And they both need to grow up enough to realize that.  Painful as her goodbye letter was for Arthur, I actually think that was mature of Mary to say she finally realized that they needed to let him go entirely, and apologizing for starting things up again.  That, and presumably seeing her father really does suck is her own self-assertion, much like Arthur is also growing up and asserting himself against Dutch.

7. Funniest moment?The entirety of “A Quiet Time”, let’s be real.   Multiple Lennies.  Lenny-on-Lenny action in that one room.  Drunk “I’m an Americaaaaaaaan!” fence-hop while running from the lawmen.  YNNEL?  LEMMY? Grate?  Great?  Can-can dancing with Arthur’s super enthusiastic high kicks.  Slap-fighting.  Arthur’s dorkish joy at just letting loose and not having to be Big Scaryboah.  Even that heartbreakingly vulnerable “No one would have me [and marry me]” and how Lenny seems to reassure him right out of it. The whole mission is a riot, starting with Arthur’s snark to Dutch about breaking Micah out of jail, and ending with waking up miles from Valentine and literally walking back to camp in hungover shame.  ;) 

11. Do you believe Jack is John’s son? If not then who do you think it is?The looks and the genetic implications fit.  Abigail says he is, and she would know best who was sharing her bed at the time.  I have no reason to disbelieve her, and John seems to accept that he is Jack’s father.  Honestly, I think he was young, stupid, say paternal responsibilities he wasn’t ready to assume, and he freaked out and pointed out she’d had other lovers not long before and tried to cast doubt on whether this was his child or not.Occam’s Razor.  The evidence points towards it, and aside from stirring up relationship drama, not sure I see much reason to make someone else Jack’s father.  If it absolutely had to be someone else, the eye color genetics prove 100% that it can’t be Arthur, and I’m firmly of the opinion Abigail and Arthur never slept together anyway.

16. If R* were to make a third RDR game, what would you want it to be about and who would you want the protagonist to be?As discussed, I’m not really interested in a RDR2 prequel with the early days of the Van Der Linde gang because there’s no story to tell there that adds much as a game, for Arthur or for the gang.  We know where that train is headed with the gang, and seeing Arthur at 21 when he’s rendered canon-incapable of changing and growing as a character because his Rubicon is still 15 years in the future is really not terribly interesting to me as a story.  It’d be a prequel for a prequel’s sake, not something like RDR2 that had a lot to say.  Also as discussed, I’m not too interested in Jack post-1914 because if he’s got an RDR game, that means he didn’t leave violence and crime and all of it behind after killing Ross.  That feels like a defeat, not something to celebrate as the tentpole of a new narrative.  Again, comes across as a sequel for a sequel’s sake, not because of a compelling story.I want an RDR3 only if there’s a strong story that adds something to the big RDR picture, hopefully broadens the RDR world, and features a character who has a journey ahead of them to match John and Arthur’s rich growth in their respective games.  So if anyone, I’d like to see Sadie post-1907 and her adventures in South America, and her character growth after settling accounts with Micah.  It feels like there’s a lot to be done with her yet.  (And hey, maybe we find Arthur’s alive and in South America too, just saying…)