#and honestly cinema wise it’s a really good scene

[dream-clouds3]

DANIEL UR KILLING ME HERE

THAT ENCHANTÉ VIDEO IS TOO GOOD KRISTEN BELL IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE ACTOR AGH!

it’s so good 😭

[slvtforoldermen]

Pedro’s Characters: The Dick-tionary

How big are Pedro Pascal’s characters and some NSFW headcannons

(WARNING: DETAILS OF PENISES AND TALKS OF SEX - MDNI)

Part Two <3

A/N: Sorry I never continued Fluff February :(, I lost motivation so I’ll just write them and post them as a prompt list for whenever…

Joel Miller:

Okay, all his characters are big, it’s a known fact, but Joel is 100% the biggest. Probably about 8.5 inches, with a pretty pink mushroom tip, and GIRTHY AGH! There’s a vein on it that is really visible when he’s hard. Oh and his balls are big too. Everything about Joel is just big. Not only is he big but you best believe he knows how to use it too. He’s got a daddy kink… Fav positions are missionary and cowgirl, however when he’s angry doggy or the mating press are a no-brainer. Daddy kink! DOMINANT!!! There’s no way this man is a sub, it just doesn’t work, he’s just so dom yknow, and when he’s soft, he’s the sweetest he’s ever been, but if he’s angry, hard dom Joel comes out and that’s a man you don’t wanna piss off if you wanna cum. He’s got such a daddy kink. “Fuck babygirl/boy, you’re so fucking sweet, sugar. So fucking good for daddy. Yeah baby? You like that? Such a good little girl/boy, so fucking sweet.” Daddy kink is such is a big thing for him. Hair wise? Well it’s the apocalypse so it’s probably hard to find the Manscaper 3000 or whatever. He trims his hair with some scissors, honestly he didn’t really care for shaving before you, so he just let it grow, but once when you were sucking him, you almost sneezed from how much it tickled your nose and made a little joke about it after, which made Joel feel a little bad so he cut them just a little shorter. Oh I’m sorry and did I mention… DADDY KINK!!!

Javier Peña:

(Here I’m purely writing about Javier Pena in a fictional sense AS PEDRO, not the real guy, this has nothing to do with the real Javier Pena)

Okay, Javier, my baby daddy. Um, who said that- ANYWAYS! Javier is probably the second biggest, in joint place with Oberyn, definitely about 7-7.5 inches, as he’s nicknamed by moi, the Pussy Slayer of Medellin. It goes without saying that Javier is rough, as we’ve seen, side note: I don’t know why I thought watching Narcos with my family would be a good idea… I was sat on the couch like “😀 okay, I’m watching Pedro have sex next to my mum, just a normal Saturday morning…” anyways back to it (hehe Negan reference) but Javier is rough, doggy and cowgirl are his favourite positions, but sometimes when he’s feeling a little somber he likes a little missionary. As how domestically-kinky I like my men, I’m a little disappointed that Javier isn’t a committed man, but he does have a tiny 🤏 breeding kink, he defo isn’t a fan of being called daddy, in fact just call him Javi and he’s yours, and he’s dom obviously. “Oh carino, you take my cock so well, you good little whore… fuck… my sweet little angel.” I mean, we’ve all seen his hair, so do we really need address it, that also might genuinely be my fav sex scene in all of cinema history.

Oberyn Martell

Okay, admittedly, I haven’t seen any proper scenes of Oberyn, because I’ve just started GOT, so I have no clue what his character is like apart from being a HUGE BISEXUAL SLUT, so he’s just like me 🤭

Oberyn, tying with Javier, is about 7-7.5 inches, and I feel like his cock is definitely a lot more tan than others, idk why, it’s just an instinct. Defo uncircumcised. His fav positions are definitely cowgirl OH and dude is the literal definition of a pillow prince, again, just like me. Suck his dick, please, just suck his dick. Again, I don’t know how he’s presented in GOT, but I’m like 74% sure he’s dominant? From the clips I’ve seen 🫣 Hair wise, do razors exists in the GOT world? Or does my man just shave himself with a sword.

Javi Gutierrez:

Oh my sweet baby Javi… he’s so kinky. I’m fully convinced he’s into full BDSM, not so much where he has to do it every single time, but maybe like once a month. When I was watching TUWOMT for the first time, when Nick is about to go into the room with all his merch and stuff, I was dead convinced it was gonna be a sex dungeon. There’s no way a man is this sweet and adorable without being into some freaky shit.

Anyway, Javi is about 6.5 inches, with a sweet pink tip and he’s definitely a giver not a taker, don’t get him wrong, he ADORES you with his dick in your mouth, but he prefers to eat you out/suck your dick for hours on end. Oh and he’s a sweet talker, when you guys aren’t being full kinky, he’ll praise you to hours on end, mumbling in your ear how good you are in that sexy accent of his. Is a little bit of a switch, but mostly dominant, soft dom if it’s a normal night but if it’s that special night, only your safe word will pull him out of hard dom space. Definitely the type to overstimulate you in a sweet way “you can take it right sweetheart? Mi amor~ just take my cock nice and good, ahí tienes.” Um, daddy kink for surely, but not like every single night like Joel. But when he’s between your legs, and he’s stimulated you so far into sub space, and you’re struggling to keep your eyes open, and you’re reaching up for him, babbling how good his cock feels in your hole, he can’t help but coo down at you and praise you so hard. He’s not bald, but his hair isn’t long, just trimmed to the point where it tickles your nose when you suck his cock.

Din Djarin

Okay, so I think it’s canon that Din hasn’t really ever felt human touch, so I feel he’s really inexperienced… but the dude’s got a pretty dick. Like it’s just so… pretty. About 6 inches with a sweet baby pink tip, he’s so sensitive too. He loves head but he really can’t say it, he’s just too embarrassed. I just get the vibe that he’s mostly subby. He tried to be dom once but the poor baby couldn’t handle it all. But then he tried again and he did so good, but it tired him out, so if he’s domming, which is once in a blue moon, he’s going to be soft, maybe even softer than Javi. Mommy/Daddy kink!! “Please, I’m good right? Please, please tell me I’m doing good… you always feel so so good, I love you so much.” Please, he’s so sweet I love him. It’s rare that you guys get off together because of reasons due to his upbringing and stuff so he just likes being taken care of, the sweet boy. Before you, he never really cared for shaving, so when you first strip together, he’s a little nervous about it, and then after that he trims it, quite short.

Marcus Moreno

If anyone says this man is a hard dom they’re just kidding themselves, this man is the sweetest man out there, obviously not as much as Din ofc <3.

Marcus has an obsession with using his hands, making you cum just by fingering you. Then when he’s inside you, he slips his fingers into your mouth, or around your neck, or on your cheek. His dick is about 7 inches, and like everyone else, knows how to use it perfectly. Angel is one of his favourite nicknames to call you. “My perfect Angel, taking my cock so good baby…” whilst hes thrusting into you ever so gently. Would never EVER do it when Missy is around, so quickies before picking Missy up from school are his go to, but he loves the days where his mom can take her out for the day or even a grandma sleepover so he can be with you for hours. You under him, over him, him inside you, his good girl/boy, his good angel. Pleasuring you until you get numb. The armpit hair in the scene of the gif gets me and idk why, I have never had a thing for armpit hair but maybe I’m just really horny, but his hair down there is nice and trimmed, not bald, never bald.

Tim Rock(Hard)Ford

Here we go…

Oh Tim man! I have a teensy 🤏 detective kink so when Pedro played this role it was over for me.

Maybe it’s the greying, like Joel, but I feel like he’s huge, just like Joel. He’s 8 inches, living his best life. But he’s just a tired old man, so when he gets home, please just get on your knees for him, he’ll just lay there, stroking your hair, praising you, telling you how good you suck his cock. Then he’ll bring you up to the bed and return the favour, making sure to always get you to tell him about your day as he does so. Saturday nights are always his favourite time to rail into you, he’s had the whole day off, just resting, watching you walk around, getting him so worked up. He has a domestic kink. So seeing you do chores get him so hard. Loves fucking between your thighs when you’re sleeping because he gets home so late and just needs a little relief, but you look so cute and peaceful while you sleep and because he’s so considerate, he doesn’t wanna wake you. “So good for me baby, so good for daddy, gonna fill you up, you’re not gonna let any of my cum slip out right, gonna keep it all in your tummy, yeah, that’s it, cum for me.” TALKS YOU THROUGH IT!!! Sleeps naked. Not trimmed, not shaved, just grows it out, he’s old so he doesn’t care, it’s not like anyone but you would be seeing him like this anyways.

Dieter Bravo

I love Dieter, he’s so cute.

Not dom, but not sub either, just dom enough to see you break under him but sub enough to whimper and get soooo desperate. Such a huge pillow prince, he loves it when you suck him, especially when you grab his balls and caress them, he cums so quick when that happens. He’s about 6.5 inches, and it loves fast, not as in quickie, but he loves seeing you fall apart as he jackhammers into your hole. When you ride him he gets so sweet, and he can last long, don’t worry, but you just look so pretty on top of him, he can’t help it, please don’t be mad at him. Has a thing for dry humping, especially in the morning when he’s too lazy to move properly. “So good baby, oh yeah, fuck, grind against me just like that, mmmf fuck…” loves to beg and watch you beg, he’s so good to and for you, don’t doubt him ever. He doesn’t shave, he trims it, but he’s so goofy, so once he shaved it into a heart.

[tonydaddingham]

✨ episode 1/2 - running commentary✨

- ok so im slightly disappointed that it's the eps i watched in the screening BUT IM DETERMINED TO LOVE IT ANYWAY SO WE REMAIN OPTIMISTIC AND WE MOVE~~

- angel crowley is so young and innocent my poor boy he's been through so much

- like now im watching it, it feels like putting it in a cinema was a Bad Choice and maybe that's why I didn't like it??? it feels way more authentic and cosy on tv

- im sorry but crowley sounds like such an old man in the park scene, "frozen peas... it's good for them too🙂"

- seriously this is so much more palatable on tv format i can't get over it

- OH MAGGIE I LOVE YOU

- aziraphale god bless ur little cotton socks

- god crowley's legs got me SWEATIN

- ugh crowleys hand in the cafe is so FRUITY

- lmao "purely selfish action" aziraphale is so self aware and I love it

- no im sorry but goob is the fucking star of the show you cannot change my mind but dialogue and delivery wise he is currently CARRYING

- Dartmoor mention had me creasing, that's literally on my doorstep

- aziraphale's bitchy ass face then he sits down in the backroom honestly watered my crops and healed nature

- okay im sorry but the dialogue is still a little off for me I won't lie💀

- beelzebub's accent is just 😘👌 perfect, but equally feel like they'd be perfect in a production of oliver

- god believe me i feel for nina but... I... do not like her, and they are NOT suited for each other at all

- I LEARNT MY PASSION IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED SCHOOL OF LOVER BOYS

- that dance is so low effort I'm sorry it should have been the macarena or cha cha slide

- crowley's bow tho is so hot he's so graceful he looks like a swan

- and yeah the refs to the other years that aziraphale did the dance is GIVING ME HEART PALPITATIONS ugh

- he and goob are like cats on a hot tin roof like IMMEDIATE hissing vibes

- lmao ok so that episode does end there then... such a weird ending im sorry but yeah let's fully retract the alternate episode theory (but @prime you need to hire me for s3 just a thought bc 👀)

- anyway ep2 I'm sorry but the angelic herald speech thing is cute and funny but also so cringe hmmm

- gabriel is lord farquaad ugh

- I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS IS A COMEDY UGH but i miss the slightly serious undertones in s1 sob god I hope they come back later on

- UGH THE TURTLENECK🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

- shax is mommy I don't make the rules

- I noted it in the screening but angel wings for earrings, Maggie????

- nice job on the lie aziraphale well done once again making excellent choices you're so smart and valid (utter moron)

- "SOUNDS A BIT UNLIKELY" LMAO GET FUCKED CROWLEY

- oh goob you really are going through it my bby I love u

- crowley's face after may god forgive you KILLS ME this scene is honestly the stand out one in both ep1 and ep2 if you ask me

- TY TY TY god bless u but you also make me so uncomfortable

- jobs youngest kid truly gives me life

- lmao the fact that aziraphale does actually recognise when crowley tempts him is hilarious tho bc he just conveniently disregards it by the bench scene in s1 hmmm character development or character regression WHO KNOWS

- ok no I'm sorry but the mukbang scene is so unnecessary and uncomfortable

- "whack the kids" honestly the best line of this scene imo, but upon reflection and rewatching it, crowley's demeanour is rather heartbreaking whilst he's reclined getting ratted

- FRANCES FRANCES FRANCES ✨💓

- 'but just to be able to ask the question' UGH CROWLEY STOP

- lmao shoemaking and obstetrics what a combo god bless

- THEY CAN ARRIVE AT ANY SIZE lmao and Michael is too sharp for their own good... but I do hate that gabriel is utterly inept, he came across as cruel and calculating if a little ignorant in s1 but not this comedically stupid

- "yes I bloody am" TY MY LOVE

- Michael sheen and David Tennant deserve nominations for the children swap scene alone, imo the strongest bit of acting in the ep im sorry 'you have my word as an angel' KILL ME

- why is nina obsessed with crowley, like I get it babes but also why

- THEY ARE SO MARRIED MT PARTNER AND I ARGUE OVER THE CAR ALWAYS "our car" LMAO 💀💀💀

- ✨✨✨IT WAS A NICE DAY, ALL THE DAYS HAD BEEN NICE✨✨✨

- ok the rock scene is so much more emotional on tv, so much better

OKAY RIGHT EP3 LETS HAVE ITTTTT

[williamrikers]

Some Personal BL Highlights of 2024

i made this post a year ago, so i'm going to do a retrospective this year, too! let's go! (i am including shows that started airing in 2023 but finished their run in 2024)

Best Show

i thought long and hard about this, but i think the title needs to go to century of love this year. this show knew exactly what it wanted to say, told its story without ever losing sight of the big picture, used every single minute of its runtime wisely and was just a wonderful experience overall.

Most Rewatchable Show And Best Main Couple

that said, jack & joker gripped me by the throat and hasn't let me go. is this show perfect? no. will i be obsessed with it for the foreseeable future? yes. this is definitely the most brainworms-inducing show of the year, and it has a very special place in my heart.

Best Sensuality

THAT SAID, i would be remiss if i didn't mention love sea anywhere near the best shows of the year, because whew! what an offering! the final battle in the sensuality bracket this year was yinwar vs fortpeat for me, and as much as i love and adore yinwar... fortpeat did That. so. yeah.

The Scene That Came For My Life The Most

uh, the fox spirit scene on century of love. need i say more? 😵‍💫

Best Premise (That Was Utterly Ruined By The Show)

congratulations, wandee goodday! this year, you had the chance to become one of my favorite shows, and then the actual plot was so badly written that i ended up not watching the final two episodes. this isn't even the largest bone i have to pick with p'golf this year, because among the new categories, i am introducing

Worst Sex Scene

... and the rebound has got this one in the bag. it's not even so bad it's good, no, it's just dumb! this show is also the reason why going forward, i won't watch anything made by p'golf anymore, which is an achievement in and of itself, i guess?

Best Side Couple

moving on to greener pastures, who could forget jj and methas bickering on this love doesn't have long beans? their enemies to lovers storyline was everything to me.

Most Beautiful Brown Eyes

one thing i can say for wandee goodday, i had to make this category for my man podd, because that one shot of him in the sunlight? yeag. gave me immediate psychic damage because he was too beautiful. absolutely incomprehensibly beautiful brown eyes. that one shot has lived in my brain rent free for months now and i still think about it regularly.

Best Confession Scene

battle of the writers was a fascinating mess of a show, and as much as none of the plot made any sense, they somehow managed to write the best confession scene ever conceived for pie and ozone. i wish i could recommend this show just for that, but no, i really can't.

Most Poetic Cinema

hands down, peaceful property episode 7 should go down in gmmtv history as the best and most tragically poetic story ever told. once again, forcebook showed us the kind of magic they can do when they are given a good script, and i for one am awaiting melody of secrets with baited breath.

Most Unhinged Watching Experience

this list would not be complete without mentioning pit babe. was pit babe "good"? i honestly don't know. but it was definitely wild. it was so much goddamn fun watching this from week to week and definitely one of my favorite watching experiences of the whole year.

Best Toxic Yaoi

where 2023 lacked toxic yaoi, 2024 gave us a beautiful tableau of toxicity that i enjoyed immensely. the highlight i want to point out here is my stand-in, although the runners-up dead friend forever and 4 minutes deserve to be mentioned as well.

Best Actor

i feel the need to include this category this year because fuaiz thanawat just blew me away. out of all the great performances in the aforementioned toxic yaoi, he truly stood out as the young actor to watch. rumour has it that he and jjay are going to headline their own show soon (-ish?), and i am absolutely thrilled at the prospect! fuaiz deserves the world. he is just absolutely brilliant.

Wildest BL Moment

uh, nude uncensored dick on 4 minutes. i literally still cannot believe they did that. once again, boc is out there casually redefining the limitations of the genre.

Most Anticipated Show Of 2025

somehow, still my golden blood??? i have been waiting for this show for OVER A YEAR NOW, and i NEED IT 😭😭😭😭 thank god this is actually going to air soon, otherwise i might implode.

[obsidiancreates]

Some thoughts/criticisms of Battle of the Five Armies because I'm back on my Hobbit Movies bullshit

Should've put more screen time (and by "more" I mean "any at all") into Thorin's descent into the Gold Madness/Dragon Sickness. A lot of BotFA feels, to me, a bit... meandering. Like they needed to hit a certain length but weren't fully sure how to fill it (and I think that also shows in how it's the shortest of all 3 movies, at least Extended Edition-wise). We go right from "They all watched Smaug die," to "He's been down there for days and he's as Gold-Mad as Thror." We needed more connective tissue between those scenes- even just a scene of Bilbo noticing Thorin is refusing food, maybe trying to convince him to eat ("Thorin, take your share." "I've no need of it." "You can't live on gold alone, you know, heh, ahem." "We shall see, Master Baggins.") or something like that.

I get why Smaug died in the first twenty minutes. I do! There's both story reasons as well as behind-the-scenes logistical reasons (can y'all imagine what these movies would've been like if they'd had Reasonable Deadlines, less studio pressure, and more ethical cast and crew treatment? It would've fixed any of the CGI issues, they could've cleaned up some of the odd pacing and editing moments, none of those awful "QUICK QUICK QUICK WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME!" moments in the Appendices would've existed... Fuck Warner Bros, man. Peter Jackson obviously had a lot to do with a lot of the unethical overtime and expectations and wasted time/effort, but like Warner Bros also contributed to this Massively). Anyway, I get why Smaug died so early into the movie. But god, I wish he hadn't. Now I haven't read the novel to it's end in about 13 years give or take- I keep picking it up, getting a good ways in, forgetting to continue, and then picking it up and starting over at the beginning- but I remember Smaug's death being a very Little Thing in the book, since it was Third-Person limited (mostly) and Bilbo wasn't in Laketown. I know that this wasn't a moment of Inaccuracy (though honestly I don't mind most of the inaccuracies but that's for another post some other time) but it was a moment of Deeply Unsatisfying Payoff. Again, I understand why! It's kinda unsatisfying in the novel too- frankly, a lot of the ending stuff in The Hobbit is, but you didn't hear that from me, got it? I'm not sure, exactly, what I wish was different about it. Killing Smaug at the end of Desolation wasn't really a viable or satisfying option either, and focusing more on Laketown would've gotten tedious and repetitive- only so much Burning and Screaming can be made into Watchable Cinema at one time. I think perhaps a larger focus on Gandalf and his experiences with Sauron could've worked here- especially if Sauron is somehow Aware of Laketown falling and uses this to mock and torment Gandalf, speaking of how the quest of the dwarves has truly failed and Middle-Earth is soon to fall the same way- but again, I understand why they didn't do that, that's just a lot of Ian McKellen sitting in a birdcage getting Taunted by an Eyeball. So I don't know what I would've had them change, and I think a not insignificant amount of this Dissatisfaction is unavoidable given the glossed-over nature of the very same plot point in the book. But it's still saddening, especially since they nailed Smaug so well and he's such a fun villain to watch on screen. Azog... a good deal less so.

Bro we couldn't have had one line where they were like "OH GOD FILI KILI BOFUR AND OIN ARE STILL DOWN THERE!" when they were watching Laketown burn? One show that someone remembered FOUR OF THEIR PARTY IS STILL THERE?!

Some of the line deliveries in this movie were an... interesting, choice, to make into the final cut. I'll chalk it up to Those Damn Studio Deadlines, though.

I know I already talked about this but SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS THE CONNECTIVE TISSUE OF THORIN'S MADNESS, IT AIN'T EVEN IN THE EXTENDED THE EXTENDED IS MOSTLY THE ACTUAL BATTLE (plus the Best Scene In The Movie where Balin alludes to Bilbo to keep the Arkenstone hidden forever, which it's a crime that was left out of the theatrical by the way).

Yeah okay the Kili and Tauriel parting at the shore was kind cliched and acted weird. Again I'll chalk it up to The Deadlines.

If we could've have had the Connective Tissue scene(s), I wish the reunion with Bofur, Oin, Fili, and Kili had been a proper scene and not just a quick cutaway. It would've been a great opportunity to catch them and the audience up on Thorin's condition and how he got to that state, as well as establish how The Company In General feels about it earlier into the movie.

Again, I know why they didn't... but even a hint that the Madness was taking the other Dwarves at least a little bit would've been nice. I truly feel that, by the time of The Ramparts, the party was at a point where at least 1 or 2 of them would've decided to go with Bilbo, and a hint that they're all slightly under the spell of the gold in the way Thorin is would've really made their decision to all 12 of them stay behind make more sense. Yes, Thorin is their king and their leader and their friend and Dwarves are known to be very loyal- but Bilbo has stood in as a leader, rescuer, and friend often enough that I think one or two of the party, in their own fully right minds, would've chosen to go with him, especially after witnessing such a horrific display from Thorin.

The pacing of the movie in general Needs Some Help, that can't go unsaid- but again, Those Damn Deadlines. The amount of palpable stress from the crew in the Appendices is genuinely stressful and heart-wrenching, and I blame the majority of my issues with this movie- and the other two- on Warner Bros being completely unreasonable with their time expectations. Especially since they pushed this 2-movie project into being 3 movies, like Fuck off, Warner Bros.

GOD I WISH MORE OF THE RING STUFF HAD CARRIED OVER FROM DESOLATION. Like again I get why it didn't, this movie kind of takes some of the focus off Bilbo and uses that extra attention on Thorin and Bard and Legolas, which I enjoy. But still, The Ring Moments in Desolation were so good, and the effect The Ring had on Bilbo in Desolation is not unlike the effect the gold has on Thorin- but Bilbo is better at fighting it. It would've been nice to see something done with that, especially as Thorin was falling to madness and Bilbo maybe recognized some of the signs from his own experiences like the one in Mirkwood. But also THE RING STUFF WAS SO COOOOOOLLLLLLLLL I WANT MORE OF ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[tfoxwood]

So the whole "The Phantom Menace" 25th Anniversary

Went to go see "The Phantom Menace" for the whole "May the 4th" day since I've never seen a Star Wars film in cinema before. I vaguely remembered people complaining over it when it first premiered in cinemas due to how politically heavy/kind of dull it was for a Star Wars film (think there's even a Simpsons episode roasting it) and honestly? I can see why but it's still a really good film even without foresight of where the prequels were going to go.

I mean sound-wise? Really cool to hear the sounds of the ships and blasters around you in the cinema and seeing the tanks and droid army be deployed on a big screen does wonders for the sense of scale. Naboo and the underwater city? Absolutely beautiful and illuminative on screen. The costumes? Oh my goodness, the outfits for Queen Amidala alone are gorgeous.

The CGI for Jar-Jar in particular? Actually, Jar-Jar in general? Eh.... can't all be winners.

I can only imagine being a Star Wars fan and seeing little Ani for the first time, maybe not even fully remembering where you heard the name before, and then having it click partway through the movie. Love the misdirect with Padmé's identity as everyone assumes she must be the one in the elaborate costumes, alongside the small hints it's not always her. The main ones I caught were when Anakin tries to say goodbye to her when she isn't there as a handmaiden and when Qui-gon states that the queen trusts him and his judgement and she rebukes that he doesn't know what she wants.

Haven't seen the original trilogy in a while but I don't think the name 'Palpatine' is used for him, think it was only The Emperor or Darth Sidious. Then there's the whole conspiracy with Darth Sidious being responsible for the blockade and the implication from Sidious's dialogue he has some form of control over the senate.

The track during the fight with Darth Maul being called "Duel of the Fates" is amazing considering it essentially changed who would be mentoring Anakin going forward. It's also forever hilarious to me that they brought back Darth Maul because people thought he was too cool and wanted to hang onto him lol. Not to mention the reveal of the lightsaber flickering to display a second half.

Honestly one of my favourite parts about the ending was the shot at the end of Qui-Gon's funeral. When discussing Darth Maul's death and stating there's always two Sith; a master and an apprentice, the scene ends with a lingering shot on Chancellor Palpatine. Behold, the 'Phantom Menace', he was going to succeed whether Naboo was forced into the treaty or if he was elected the new Chancellor. "Every way makes my gain".

Overall I really enjoyed the small little bits and nuances with it, and I can also see why people may have been disappointed seeing it compared to the original trilogy. It was quite dull at points but it does have a lot of detail for what it is.

[thealmightyemprex]

So Turns out Jaws is really good guys

SO I am revisting Spielbergs early diecting work ,at least his theatrically released work ,already reviewed Duel (TV Movie but it got a theatrical release ) and Sugarland Express,and now we are getting to the big one:Jaws

In this 1975 film ,a shark is going around eating people near Amity Island ,and it is up to Police Chief ,Martin Brody (Roy Scheider ) ,Oceanographer ,Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfus ) and professional Shark killer Quint (Robert Shaw ) to hunt down and slay the beast

Sooooooo....I saw the firs half hour of this film at about 8 or 9 and it scared me .Now while other movies that scared me I ended up loving,there are a select few ,where my brain interperted it as"I dont like this"(Namely this and Spirited AWay ).NOw I have revisited the film a few times since I was a teen,but while I could tell it was good ,I couldnt love it ......Now on my third full watch I can say....This is a darn good movie that I do like

Its a very important film in American cinema as it takes elements from films before it like 20000 Leagues Under the Sea,Seven Samurai,Creature from the Black Lagoon and the Birds,and combines them into a mixture.....That has ended up being the blue print for nearly 50 years of big blockbuster features

If I were to say what genre the film belonged to it is somewher between an action thriller ....And a monster horror film .In truth the film is very scary ,with some great jump scares (Including one of the scariest in cinema I feel ) ,a brilliant use of suspense(HElped by Johhn Williams amazing score ) and a premise that is inherently horrifying as unlike many other movie monsters,Sharks are real terrifying apex predators (THough in reality ,Shark attcks are less common then you think ) and despite seeing the film before..........I still was spooked watching

One thing I love about the film is how distinct the first half and second half is .The first hour we have a bunch of characters ,the shark basically going into human territory ,and the towns people reaction to the events......Which leads to a very isolated second hour,with only three characters stuck at sea with this beast ,and basically our heroes are in the sharks territory

I like the various characters who makeup the town .Of the supporting cast the two most important are Lorrianne Gary as Ellen Brody and Muarry Hamilton as the Mayor. Lorriane Gary does an excellent job but of the supporting characters the most memorable is Muarry Hammilton as the Mayor.The Mayor isnt a villain (Unlike copy cat characters,he does have humanity ) but his shortsighted pursuit of profit and keeping a sense of normalcy make him a strikingly realistic and honestly sadly relevent antagonist.Hamilton does a great job and I find it amusing this character has become kind of a shorthand for stubborn politicians who ignore something dangerous

I adore all threeof our main characters ,Roy Scheider makes for a good every man hero ,Richard Dreyfus is fun as the brainy guy ,and Robert Shaw makes for a perfect wild card .ACting wise Robert Shaw might be my favorite part of the film ,but that might be cause he is the most entertaining ,with his sea shanty singing ,his great intro and having a monologue that is so damn good I was so damn invested in it .What I really love is how the three play off each other ,both when they are at eachothers throats but also when they are bonding .My favorite scene in the whole film is when theyve had a couple of drinks....And they just start singing this song together ,its just a nice moment I like

But this is a monster movie,I gotta talk aboout the monster Nicknamed Bruce (AFter Spielbergs lawyer ) the shark was mechanical .....and infamous forthe fact it malfunctionesd....A lot.This led to Spielberg using the shark as little as possible,and you mostly see it near the end .I think this was a blessing in disguise cause when you actually see the thing it makes iit even scarier.I also think Bruce looks really good ,like I know the prop was a pain,but it actually looks ver convincing to me .It also is just an effective villain in that it plays ona very primal fear,the beast that is just out to get ya

OVerall its a pretty damn good movie

@ariel-seagull-wings @angelixgutz @amalthea9 @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @goodanswerfoxmonster @princesssarisa @filmcityworld1

[cybernaght]

One and Only: a review of sorts

I bet you did not expect the actual topic of this blog to resurface, and yet, here we go.

The previous time I went to a cinema to watch one of those Chinese films was actually completely by accident. I had a long break/cancellation situation at work which meant a three-hour break with a cinema around the corner. I ducked into said cinema and found out that a screening of Born to Fly has just stared, so… what’s a girl to do. I then didn’t write anything about it because I didn’t have much to say about it.

This one, however, was planned.

One and Only/热烈 is a story of a working class boy with a passion for dance (Wang Yibo - obviously) being roped into being an understudy for a cocky obnoxious star of a dance team by that team’s coach (Huang Bo - obviously), learning a thing or two about himself, finding friendship and hoping to one day complete in the Nationals.

As the film is in cinemas, I cannot provide visuals, so, instead, I’m gonna populate this with some of my many gifs from Street Dance of China season 3-5.

Plot-wise, it’s not really unpredictable in any way. The highs and the lows are placed roughly where you would expect them to be, all the lulls are appropriately proportioned for character development, and the final-act dance competition is as exhilarating as one might hope.

And yet… this one has a heart, it really does, and the writing really does a lot to elevate a cookie-cutter premise. The characters have a hell of a lot of inner life, including whole sets of circumstances that are merely implied - a real joy to see in any movie, I love the effect this has on the feeling of the characters’ realness. There are also fantastic decisions made pacing-wise in the final two acts, with one specific time-skip which I found very exciting indeed.

Themes of mutual respect and cooperation are not by all mean new to this kind of a movie, but I really appreciated how well developed they are, being set up in the opening scenes, and paying off in the eleventh hour; and it was lovely to see those themes explored organically. Again, writing elevates the premise here, too.

Wang Yibo’s acting keeps improving in a way which is pretty damn impressive. He seems to be a very hard-working young man, and that hard work seemingly pays off, too. Good for him. There are a few idiosyncrasies that are still very “his” (I swear I have never seen him have any screen chemistry with any woman ever), but there were also moments that read as character, and that read as truth. Honestly, he’s all grown up now, it’s very sweet to watch.

And if you are here through Street Dance of China route, whoooo boy do I have good news for you.

Ye Yin is here

Jr. Taco is here

B-Boy George is here — with plot! (Is this a spoiler? It might be. It might not be.)

Rochka is here, with the signature ankle spin

So are Klash and MT Pop, by the way.

Liao Bo is here AND he! is! actually! dancing!

Kevin is in it, although he is not, in fact, dancing

I am certain this list is not comprehensive. Suffice it to say, there is enough on the screen to make a Street Dance of China fan very happy.

(The only real crime was that Chick was not in it. Because he absolutely should have been.)

Speaking of dance — I really want to know who choreographed this, because some of the routines were fantastic. I only wish that we could see them uncut - but of course this is a movie, and it is edited as one. Besides, you have to have cuts to be able to cut-in Wang Yibo’s dance double*, the true unsung hero of this cinematographic show.

(*last year the boy could do like, one freeze. He is a fast learner so I am ready to believe that he can be pretty good, but he is definitely not “halo five times in a row” good.)

All in all, if you are feeling sad that SDC 6 seems to be nowhere in sight at the moment, and One and Only is in cinemas near you, this comes with a cybernaght stamp of approval.

Go see your favorites doing the thing that they do - and doing it well.

You made a promise. Please hurry up. It's late August already, and you've not even announced the captains yet.

[lazaruspiss]

Justice League x RW/BY: Super Heroes and Huntsmen (Part One)

gonna be honest i kinda keep forgetting that this movie exists. the animation and music is very... rw/by. for better or for worse. corny quippy one liners. it's very corny. adding a cut bc this'll probably get a bit rambly.

AHHH THE FLASHBACK IS A STILL FRAME. the first thing to make me laugh wasnt even a joke it was the single still frame flashback. well. there was a slight zoom?

it's trying to be funny so bad its trying so hard. the serious dialogue is corny but could be worse. overall its better than the crossover comics? making the DC characters teenagers seems pointless.

oh god the dialogue is so hammy. the fists are hammed. weiss good and weiss dad bad yes i noticed. christ im only 8 minutes in. physically recoiling at some of the jokes. like its nothing jokes its nothinggg.

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE BRUCE? he's been on screen for like 10 seconds and he already sounds and acts like "wealthy teenage tiktok star tries to pander to the less ~economically privileged~" and god it keeps going it hasnt even been a minute yet. did they make them teenagers bc otherwise bruce wouldve run off and found some little boy to help him solve everything without the help of anyone else. is that why. bc honestly yeah adult bruce is hard to write into a team setting.

bruce continues to be embarrassing but also. im learning that the still image flashbacks are just a thing thats gonna happen in this movie. style wise its very much a rw/by movie, so its just probably not gonna hit for me. its the kind of show i watched in middle school and grew out of by 8th grade. even then, my interest kind of started and ended with the character design and the basic world building elements. emphasis on basic, trying to understand the more in depth aspects is a bit of a waste of time.

oh and im still at the 10 minute mark. "ive already gone through all the other dc x rw/by content" i thought, "might as well watch the movies" i thought.

i think theyre trying to write bruce doing a smart detective thing? unfortunately rw/by is very bad at writing people doing smart things. 1) cant stand bruces voice in this 2) god hes so annoying and this whole scene is embarrassing to watch.

GAHH. THE SAME FLASHBACK FRAME CLARK HAD BUT ZOOMED OUT THIS TIME. true cinema. and i think theyre alluding to time travel as well as dimension travel, so even the rw/by girls get to have weird "we're not where we should be" flashbacks.

diana manhandles the small boy, fun. it also rife with required reading bc if you arent fully dedicated to keeping track of all rw/by lore then fuck you. these movies dont seem to require much DC knowledge but they cram in a lot of references to rw/by lore that i only know from video essays put out by ex-fans.

hey guys did u remember that yang is lesbian. pretty cool right? right?? this movie is going by so slow.

MARI IS THAT YOU?? and jess... girls u deserve a better movie. oh vic got braids? nice. also that joke was nothing. all the jokes are nothing.

the best jokes so far have been. the ones about how convoluted and hard to get into rw/by is. because of course. sigh. i do think the DC characters are better utilized and integrated than they were in the comics at least. seeing mari and jess get animated is really cool, and overall i like the redesigns. a few of the characters have commented on suddenly being deaged but mari's acknowledgement of it is the first to feel like a natural line of dialogue rather than exposition.

montage of bruce learning to use his bat powers so that they can get that out of the way before he joins the rest of the group. separate things that were already discussed being re-discussed so that we can have a "everyone talks at once scene". they. what. huh? they had a normal conversation that landed on "lets split into groups since theres enough of us to reasonably do that. then they have an argument which ends at the exact same conclusion.

are they really gonna have a "yang thinks diana is hot and blake gets jealous" plot line? really? and another love triangle. cy tries to ask nora to explain this worlds weapons, noras boyfriend(?) gets mad and then cy gets mad back and ends up being the one everyone gets upset with. it feels a bit. just. super uncomfortable. cy wasnt flirting he was just. talking to nora.

oh thank god that bit is over. now back to jess! possibly the most interesting character here. her design is probably my least favorite of the bunch tho, just because it feel a bit... too anime? it reminds me too much of my danganronpa phase, lol.

jaune doing plot device things. jess introspection. its not the most interesting thing but its better than uh. whatever happened with cy earlier. sorry im still thinking about that. i think they were just going for hormonal and temperamental teenager moment but it uh. came off weird.

plot twist everything was uh. void. ptsd monster things. the plots about to get convoluted isnt it.

diana is pretty decently fleshed out in this one. and it looks like they didnt lean into the diana being hot as a source of relationship conflict that much aside from a few jokes, thank god.

for fucks sake shut up jaune i dont care about your dead girlfriend.

back to the monster fighting group, dear god theyre doing one of those. 2 guys fight over girl who goes "umm i can take care of myself >:(". GOD SHUT UP. FUCK. ITS A JEALOUS LOVE TRIANGLE PLOT. please let this die sooner rather than later.

bruce describes everything that was just established. bruce is emo. weiss tries to be nice. then back to jess and jaune. "i didnt realize how much i miss this place" yeah well i sure dont miss it. oh pyrra, however your name is spelled, you were the only character death that meant anything. now if only they didnt degrade her story into being all about jaune even in death.

have weiss and bruce just been on the computer this whole time. at least they eventually get a fight scene. lesbians to the rescue time. stuff and things. i still dont care and jaune. fuckin. creator self insert ass. he was originally comic relief/audience surrogate but turned into way too much of a main character. god jess deserves her own movie.

weiss please stop trying to recruit him this is just embarrassing. is this gonna be a whole thing? bruce deciding between earth and remnant? and god you cant put anime style gags in the middle of a serious scene. oh god theyre making bruce insecure about not having powers like the rest of the league. man who could've seen that coming. christ theres still 20 minutes left. FUCK AND A WHOLE SECOND MOVIE.

jess remains the coolest bitch in this movie. god why couldnt it be a jess green lantern movie.

lesbians on motorcycles, blah blah fight scene. oh god we're pretending batman is cool. fake flash? wheres real barry then :/ christ. they think this is a cool twist. tho possessed barry is pretty fun. god the actual canon explanation for making them teens was bc kilg%re figured the hormones would make them easier to fuck with.

obligatory "even teens can be leaders" speech. the determination of humanity or whatever.

HAAA BRUCE AND BARRY MORSE CODE COMMUNICATION. ok thats cute.

so smth smth final battle but theres a mysterious second bad guy so that they still have content for a second movie. i like how they show vixen's powers, that parts fun. jess does main character thing and kills big bad. bruces conflict about going home is resolved. cy goes and makes amends with nora and guy who likes nora, despite guy who likes nora being the one to cause all the conflict in the first place. they make the go home portals. set up for next movie.

[mothmanssecretgirlfriend]

Skinamarink is not that scary, change my mind

Ok, so, I have some feelings about Skinamarink i need to get out of my head.

I didn’t like it, I’m sorry y’all. I was honestly really excited when I saw that a cinema in my city is showing it and I KNEW what I was getting into. Didn’t want to spoil myself anything but I’ve read that 1) it’s pretty slow and artsy (well duh it’s a festival film) and 2) it’s fucking terryfing. And while 1 thing is obv true, I just don’t get the 2 point.

Honestly it was kinda boring. I don’t usually have problems with slow movies but it’s cause usually if the story is slow, there’s sth else that keeps your intrest in it, even if nothing is happening story wise and I just didn’t see it in Skinamarink. There was just no tension at all. For the first about 30 min I was pretty into it and kind of on edge. The atmosphere was cool and I just kept waiting for something that would tip it from “kinda unsetteling” to “what the actual fuck” but. It never happens!!! I thought it would be the scene in the parents bedroom, when dad tells him to look under the bed, honestly it was really good, I got chills. But then. nothing. happens. Like, you get this really creepy scene, the tension fucking sky rockets ...and then it goes back to the way it was. And it was propably the moment it lost all the tension to me. To be honest it got kinda relaxing even. Sometimes when I can’t fall asleep I do this thing where I try and look at the inside of my eyelids and watch the dots and shapes and colours and it’s really similiar to the dark shots in Skinamarink. So I spent the rest of the movie just kind of chilling in my chair. (guy next to me just straight up fell asleep after like 20 min)

And that also brings me to the thing I just hated and that’s the jump scares. I just hate jump scares in general so I was pretty mad when I got two, after I read a comment that literally said that the movie is so good because it relies on the overall atmosphere and more psychological kind of fear rather than jump scares. Where?! I’m sorry but that was so dissapointing. You create this hole creepy scenario, in a weird dark house, you try to make the viewer uncomfortable just by the vibe that you made, and then, instead of using this feeling of dread to really get under the skin, you just go for a jump scare. It just felt so cheap to me.

Overall, I really think it would be so much better if it was like 4 times shorter. I’ve read that this guy actually makes (or used to) short yt videos in a similiar vibe? And honestly that sounds so much better. I think I’m gonna check out Heck cause it’s a similar idea, from what I’ve heard, but shorter. I think it could be pretty cool because imo the general plot and the way they filmed Skinamarink is really interesting as a concept. But 2 hours is way too long and making shortening it to like half hour would prevent it from losing the tension.

If you don’t agree, feel free to tell me, I’m honestly so curious why is it so scary to some people.           

[petty-crush]

Notes on the New Bev Horror a thon 2024

-/—

Before the night started, I meet a woman who had been to every iteration of this annual Halloween marathon. Her joy was still that of someone first entering a new world. I second that emotion.

////-//-

This was an especially strong and highly competitive collection

1-Out of the Dark (Michael Schroeder 1988)

2-The Four Skulls of Johnathon Drake (Edward L Cahn 1959)

3-The Rift (Juan Piquer Simon 1990)

4-Rituals (Peter Carter 1977)

5-The Breed (Nicholas Mastandrea 2006)

6-Eyes of a Stranger (Ken Wiederhorn 1981)

-//-/—-

All of these films were first time watches. All of them had an audience giddy with anticipation.

-/-//—-

“Out of the Dark” left a furious impact, a rip roaring opening film.

The cast for this film is pretty incredible: Divine, Karen Black, Paul Bartel, Tab Hunter, Geoffrey Lewis, Bud Cort, Tracey Walker and so forth.

Each of the names got big cheers.

The late 80s horror era can be ether highly saccharine or wonderfully sleazy. Definitely the latter here.

A masked killer in a clown mask stalks girls from a phone sex (oh, pardon me, phone fantasy) company.

Murder at 4 dollars a minute.

The kills are quite good, but the film largely wins with moments of character interactions.

Karen Black has a nice scene with her on screen child daughter, sympathetically but honestly telling her that “daddy isn’t here because sometimes people need to go away”. It’s rather charming.

She has a more reserved, no nonsense but still caring attitude towards her work daughters.

Paul Bartel has great fun fussing with a wig as he tries to scope out why someone is trying to stay all night in a sex motel.

Divine’s moment (and sly fake mustache) is short but cutting, noting that his rival cop “couldn’t find his pecker in his pocket”.

I think this is the largest role, certainly the most action packed, I’ve seen for actor Tracey Walker. His moments of snooping while trying to avoid bullshit are delightful.

I really can’t think of anything I didn’t like about this film. It is a middleweight class, but does everything with verve. A fun party.

-///—/—/-

Equally lovely was “The Rift”, and while “Dark” was cult actors enlivening potentially stock characters with their outward charm, this film has R Lee Ermey fleshing out his acting range, clinically dissecting his character and his chain of command relation with his other actors.

This film is not above noting his ultra famous role in “Full Metal Jacket”: someone does indeed repeat the notion of a golf ball going through a garden house.

[an aside; reels 2 and 3 were originally switched. The film was restarted with a correct running order, but not before a few minutes into the third reel. Thus, the unusual sight of seeing that line murder the audience the first time, and then smirking appreciation the second time]

Helping smooth the reference is the deft timing by actor John Toles Bey as officer Skeets. This is the rare (intentionally meant) comedy character that is truly funny, as opposed to fucking annoying.

Bey somehow manages to make lines like “you’re my kind of white boy” and moments such as using magnifying glasses to stare at an ample female ass charming in their ornery way.

I like a good underwater film, especially in a submarine, and even more so when shooting a squad of penis shaped monsters. Win win win.

What exactly they are researching under the sea is a mystery, but actor Ray Wise has good moments of misdirecting weasel ness.

-///-/—////—-

This is first time in several years where the film did not end on a mid 90s and beyond (later 2000s these last few years) film. Instead it was the second to last.

“The Breed” has the amusing goal of making teens scared of and battling genetically altered dogs.

Now, I can see why a casual cinema goer may have recoiled at this idea and its execution. People generally don’t like thinking dogs will harm humans and they really don’t like seeing dogs get killed.

However, this is a horror film, and this is a screening for mega hyped cinema enthusiasts, so of course all the canine deaths and attacks were met with wild applause.

Another case of an audience at the right place ramping it up.

Speaking of, that arrow in the leg scene..ouch!

Michelle Rodriguez is the most accomplished actor here, although the most dramatic meat is between two in character brothers and how they learn to trust each other despite seeing the sibling as a fuck up.

Rodriguez is the current lover of one and the former of another, to really drive home the awkwardness.

I gleefully admit, seeing two rabid dogs chilling on the airplane wing then diving in the water to murder the male lead is pretty funny. Has a “oh, are we on camera now?!?” vibe.

-/-/——///——

The black and white classic horror spot was “Four Skulls” this year, and it hit that spot firmly if not vividly.

The finger prints that are shaped like tiny skulls result had the audience giggling.

What a strange notion to have a white head sewn onto an Indian body. Brown…chest? (As opposed to brown face).

-/-/——

I’m really torn on “Rituals”. On one hand it clearly had the best acting of the night(by Hal Holbrook & Lawrence Dane), at other times it greatly meandered, not helped by the outdoor night photography being too dark to see at times.

I had a pretty good chuckle at a character thinking his life is over because he’s “38, drunk and my last boyfriend who wasn’t in an asylum was five years ago”.

Who considers 38 old, the middle schoolers who will never watch this film?

-/———///——-/—

“Eyes of a Stranger” is also an example of a good film at maybe not the best place.

It’s a slow burn that really explodes at the end, but putting it last doesn’t do it any favors. The first five films felt of a unity, but this has an ever so soft aroma of stapled to the rest.

It’s my only real critique of the night, albeit in hindsight.

“Breed” wasn’t a better film but it was snappier paced, and a worthier stinger to end the night on.

-///-///—-

An interlude

It occurs to me now how each half of the marathon had two similar bookends separated by a palette change.

“Skulls” was a leisure 50s ride sandwiched between two goofy and highly entertaining late 80s/early 90s schlock fests.

Meanwhile, “Breed” was a teen romp n stomp between two very deep dive atmospheric moody tales from the late 70s/early 80s.

Amusing.

-/-////——-/

Anywho, back to “Eyes”.

It actually really surprised me that it’s from the beginning of the decade of greed. I would have guessed 1973 at most before knowing the true answer.

It certainly doesn’t feel like a film that was post John Carpenter’s “Halloween” and its codification of the slasher genre. Very “let’s heat up the ‘Psycho’ leftovers one more time with salt” vibe.

There is a child character that is dealing with lack of seeing and hearing after a traumatic rape. She’s not an object of pity (clearly her big sister character is more shamed than her) and this is a fine line confidently walked by a young Jennifer Jason Leigh.

She really had the stuff even at an early age. What a casting coup.

The fact that the main killer looks like Peter griffin from “family guy” doesn’t even matter. It’s all expertly and grisly directed.

The aforementioned big sister character feels like she really let her younger sibling down by her being abducted by a stranger in a car. This is a good dramatic angle for her to relentlessly pursue this murderer far beyond the normal. It’s personal and aided by guilt.

The scenes of her clinging to the balcony of an apartment, hoping dually she won’t get caught or fall to her death, are excellent.

But the real fireworks come at the end. The killer taunts the blind n deaf girl in her apartment (rented with her sis but she’s out) by moving knives, plates, and other objects she knows she just put there.

There is no sound during this sequence, only eerily silence.

The kid catches on, runs around the apartment, is chased into master bedroom, and hit repeatedly. The shock is almost overwhelming.

And then she starts to see.

Fuzzy at first, shapes and colors come into play (we see from her POV) then she hits her 2nd attacker and wanders to the dresser where the gun is.

She shoots him.

Her clothes torn, her breath short, she wanders into the bathroom and starts to see more.

For the first time, she sees her teenage self

The camera lingers on her. It is a generally moving scene.

The killer lunges from off camera.

Finally the big sister returns. Grabs the gun. Shoots in the head. Crying. Stops at the young girl talking for the first time in years. A tender embrace.

Emotionally devastating, and richly rewarding after wandering with the film at a post midnight hour.

It all comes together.

-///——//—-

On the way out of the theatre I received my “I survived the whole night” gift; a sweet patch to sew on.

With or without it, the memories from tonight will remain. The sharp sense of triumphant joy and oooing outlines of shock.

Like any festival, of any art, it varies from year to year. But the accumulated effect, the greatest highs, remain.

I actually, overall, liked this one better than last year. And that was also a good one.

Like the woman who has seen all these nights of horror mystery, I add it to the deep treasures of my experiences. I am open to new things, and I am rewarded for that.

Can’t ask for anything more satisfying.

[raccoonrabbit]

Secrets of Dumbledore spoiler review

Oh dear me. Where to start.

This movie was so much more interesting than i anticipated.

It started and the whole room (which was almost at full capacity!) went silent. The restaurant scene - everyone held their breath in. I could feel the tension all around, it was such a good start. And it kept going and i was just swept away...

Not one moment where i felt bored, quite the contrary, i felt captivated thourgh it all. The political thriller subplot was absolutely chilling!!!

And fuck me if i didnt fell in love with Mikkelsens Grindelwald <3 Honestly im really tempted to watch it again with the original english, instead of the hungarian dub, just to experience the voice acting as it should be.

And the JOKES? I havent watched cinema in years that had such good humour??? There was like 4 four times where the entire room laughed out loud, it was such a pleasure.

And okay i could rant about a few creative decisions that could have been changed to make it more complex, all plot-wise, but i feel like this movie is just not about the plot, strictly speaking? It was about characters, and feelings and had so much heart and soul <3 it really didnt need another half an hour explaining minor details, it would have broken the illusion.

And lastly, grindeldore. THE love story. They handled it so, so, soooo well. That very last battle with the heartbeats. I never experienced cinema quite like this before, this... emotional intensity. The angst, and the love, all present in one small sequence. Truly magical.

Yeah i really could talk about this for hours.

12/10 movie. Go watch it <3<3<3

[pynkhues]

What is your favorite Christina and Manny performance on the show?

Oh man, I have a lot actually! I think they're both really wonderful actors who gave so much to their respective characters, and while I think they had chemistry off the charts with one another, I also think they had chemistry with pretty much every other actor on the show? It was a really charismatic cast in general, and they played off each other so well.

Okay, so I've tried to narrow this down to just a couple a season, but it's been wildly difficult, especially since Christina in particular has so many really great scenes on the show, and I'm sure as soon as I hit post I'll change my mind, haha, but okay, right now:

Rio in the 1.10/2.01 cliffhanger

Christina and Matthew are great in this scene too, but Manny really steals the show. His ability to navigate the complicated, evolving mood of the sequence across two different episodes and a long season hiatus is pretty much perfect, and seeing him flick on honeytrap mode is just !! A wildly great momen, and some really great acting from him.

Rio with the tyre iron in 2.04

The bathroom break is, of course, transcendent, but Manny is honestly at his most charismatic, his most electric, his most physical as a performer in the episode closer with the corvette. It's a scene I think I've watched about 12,000 times and it never loses it's energy. He's really just that good in it.

Beth and Ruby's fight in 2.08

Christina and Retta both are on fire in this scene, but Christina's line delivery of "I would choose you. Every time." lives rent-free in my head. The way her voice breaks, the frantic, urgent pain, it's!! Perfect!!!

Beth and Rio go back to Beth's in 2.09

The layers of vulnerability and intimacy are unparalleled, and Christina and Manny both play the moment with the exact right amount of nerves and tenderness and uncertainty. Magicccc.

Beth in Beth and Rio's reunion in 3.03

In a lot of ways, Manny has the easier job here. He's performing for Beth, and he does a great job, but Christina fractures in such a compelling way. She feels so tautly pulled in the moment, so unable to process what's happening in front of her, and you feel that as much as you feel her start to scramble mentally for her way out, and the beat where she finally finds that escape hatch? It only gets better on re-watch.

Beth and Rio in the park bench fight in 3.06

Christina's actually pretty amazing generally playing griefstruck after Lucy's death, but I love this scene in particular for just the anguish that washes over both of them. Neither of them ever wanted to be here, and yet they can't escape each other, and a conversation that starts about work and becomes about Lucy before becoming about them involves so many shifts in tone that they both just land so well.

Beth strongarms Gayle in 3.11

Look, they like - - never let Beth be funny, and the chance she has to be a total dick to Gayle after robbing her blind is cinema magic to me. Christina just kills it.

Beth talks to Dean in prison in 4.03

This could be one of my favourite scenes acting-wise on the show fullstop. I think Christina and Matthew are both tremendously nuanced in it, but Christina in particular opens Beth up to guilt and grief and fear in a way her typically closed-off character doesn't get to be. It's really affecting, and the glassy eyes get me every time.

Rio's look of betrayal in 4.08

Naked betrayal!! The way Manny shifts his whole face in a heartbeat as he realises what's happened!! I can't!!!

Christina in 4.14 after Rio re-delivers Beth's furniture / Beth and Rio 'he's in our way' scene

Christina plays weary about as well as Manny plays charming, which is to say very, very well, and there's something to the combination of that that shouldn't work, but really does. The exhaustion is palpable in both these scenes, and with that exhaustion, everything just feels a little closer to the surface. Both Christina and Manny play the beats with something that's not-quite-vulnerable, but not-quite-as-guarded as normal, and it just creates this sense of space, not just in the moment, but maybe for the future too.

I think that's me! What are some of your favourite acting moments on the show?

[fakeloveaskblog]

Janus, have you and Remus hung out other then when you go to fake therapy? You should ask him out? Keep it open, maybe not outright ask him for a date but to hang out!

(Words: 2140)

Janus: "Oh you know me anon. I am so totally known for asking people to hang out. Yes me and Remus have been eeeverywhere together /s No we have never hung out.......But I suppose you have been very wise so far. So I shall try and go ut of my comfort zone and ask him he would like to spend time together"

They were in that same spot they always stood after the fake therapy. Where they were supposed to part ways. Remus had his phone out, checking the bus times. Janus knew he had to say something now or else yet another week would pass and he would never have the courage to ask.

"Do ehm is you- fuck-" Janus wanted to smash his head open on a rock. He was a idiotic mess who couldn't even say a simple sentence.

"What?" Remus looked at him with a smile. Jan swore he had specifically practiced that smile so it made him melt internally every single time.

"Do you maybe possibly have anything to do today?"

"Oh yeah all booked up with exorcising demons out of old ladies' houses. you know how it is!" He let out a short screechy laugh "Come on Snakey y'know I don't have a job or any plans on robbing banks right now. Of course I'm free!"

"Noted. Then I am totally not asking you to perhaps do something like going to the movies?"

Remus' eyes widened and he shone up into a huge toothy smile "YES!" He grabbed Janus' hand while flapping with his other hand "You gotta be psychic or something! I've been wanting to see this movie made by a director I'm hyperfixating on but I didn't wanna go alone and my sister is still out of town SO this is great!!"

He didn't waste another second. He dragged Janus with him as he began to very quickly walk while continuing to stim.

All Janus could do was stare at their hands. Their palms pressed against each other. His love's thumb brushing up and down his skin. He had never been happier over forgetting his gloves at home.

His cheeks stayed rosy red the entire walk. It was like walking on air. He didn't even realize Remus was still speaking until they got the cinema.

"-And that's why I thought it would have been better if the hamster had died!" He concluded.

".............Fascinating" Janus replied hoping it was a good answer.

"I know right!"

He looked down and realized they were still holding hands. His happy expression instantly dropped as he let go of Janus like he was made of fire.

"Oh fuck buckets! I should have asked if you were okay with like ehhh touch beforehand! Now you're gonna cut my head off!" Remus gasped out.

"Indeed, I do now hate you and I have already hired an assassin to kill you" Janus replied sarcasticly "It's okay, I promise"

Remus let out a breathe of relief in the most cartoon balloon leaking air way possible. "Neat!"

It was 3 pm on a Thursday so there weren't any people in line. Remus didn't even give his friend a chance to pay for his own ticket. He also got a big ass popcorn and a bag of eyeball candies.

He dumped the snacks into the arms of Janus as his eyes caught on a poster on the wall advertising another movie. He jumped up and down while pointing at it, like the excitement was too much to be contained in his body.

"It's my sister! She told me she would be in this one!" The poster didn't show the actresse's face since she had on a cloke to look dark and myserious (tm) "That's her I swear on the last human tooth I have!"

"I believe you. You could be her perfect stunt double"

Remus shoot his arms out "That's what I've been saying too!!! You really are a psychic! Being a stunt double is literally the dream job! I get to pretend to be killed in so many ways! I get to jump off of buildings!! Sadly she mostly does dramas and romances and all that boring stuff"

"Well I for one would love seeing you get stabbed on film" He held his hand over his heart as he said it.

"Omg snakey!! Thank you!! Means a lot!"

He had that wide smile on his lips again. Janus wished he was able to make him smile like that every day.

"Oh the movie is starting soon! Ahhhh exciting! Horror really is the best genre!"

Janus paled "Horror?"

"Yeah! I told you all about the movie on the way here remember? You're okay with horror right?"

"O-Of course! I have watched halloween alien on elm street like 5 times!" He lied.

Remus chuckled "Sure sounds like it"

They went into the screening room. Ads were running on the big screen. They were the only ones there. Remus found their seats right at the back in a corner. He sat down and triumphantly put his feet on the seat in front of him.

"Look at that snakey! We've got the whole room to ourselves! Only...."

His eyes suddenly stopped and shifted to stare out into air. His happy expression slowly disappeared leaving a hollow look on his face. He moved his legs up to his chest and sat completely still.

".....Only us......"

Janus slumped down in the seat next to his. Remus leaned away in his seat so he was further from his friend.

"Indeed. I could poison you and no one would be here to stop me. But I won't...yet" He hoped a joke would make his love lighten up again.

Remus forced a halfhearted smile "Sure that"

The movie started. Janus was already stress eating popcorn from fear by the time the first scene had ended. Which only made him even more stressed over making Remus think he was a fat gluttonous disgusting mess! Which he was! But he didn't want him to know that!!

Whenever he glanced over to Remus he looked just the same, As if the movie was fucking mamma mia or something.

He didn't want to seem unclassy and close his eyes like a 5 year old so he tried to comb his hair in front of his eyes instead. He couldn't stop his racing heartbeat or his unsteady hands though. He didn't do well to loud sounds. Or screaming voices.

He jumped in his chair at an extra gory scare. The popcorn landed all over his body. His cheeks went red enough to be mistaken for a ladybug.

Remus glanced over at him "You don't have to hide that you're scared y'know. The audience reaction is like half the fun"

"Me? Scared? I haven't felt scared since I buried a body in 1967! This is just how I show my appreciation for movies!" He blurted out the lie in a panic.

His love threw his head back as he let out a loud laugh. He couldn't stop as he buried his head in his hands. His shoulders moved in rhytm to his giggles. It seemed to calm his nerves a bit.

"Holy shit snakey that was such a horrible lie! You're such a dork! I say that with affection I promise"

Janus couldn't help but chuckle along "Dork actually means something really dirty. I know since I was practically married to my dictionary when I was youn-"

"WHALE PENIS! I know!! You're the first one who also knows!"

"I suppose that means we're soulmates now" Janus couldn't help but say it.

"Penis soulmates!"

Janus sighed "Yes"

In the movie a man's torso was ripped from his body. Remus flapped his hands. Janus let out a quiet whimper.

"I could infodump a bit if that would make you less scared"

Janus leaned closer to respond but Remus instantly flinched back. He made sure to keep keeping his distance "I would love to hear"

He shone up into a smile. It wasn't quite as carefree and happy as the other ones but it was still his smile and Janus had caused it. It made him feel warm.

He started rambling about the director's other movies and how the themes tied in with this movie. About how the director had studied to be a doctor so he know enough about biology to make all of the gore extra realistic. About how the movie soundtrack's added to the scare even though they were often silly. All while stimming. Sometimes he went quiet to focus on the film while Janus curled in on himself and closed his eyes.

Honestly Janus could have heard him go on for hours but sadly the movie eventually ended. And they eventually got out of the cinema. And eventually the snacks the shared while sitting on a bench outside also ended. And the conversation died out.

It was only around 5 pm but the sky had already started to darken. The streetlamps were getting lit one by one, and a few people were standing in line for the next movie. Janus feared having to say goodbye.

Luckily he didn't have to as Remus quietly asked "Could you like follow me home? The apartement is only 15 minutes and a minor murder spree away"

"Of course!" He replied a bit too excitedly.

He made sure to not walk too close as to not make him flinch again. Remus started to subconsciously hymm on a song after some time of silence. Janus couldn't stop feeling over the moon at the fact that he was hanging out with someone! And he seemed to like him!! And he was in love with him no less!!!

"Snakey I think I gotta admit something kinda dorky-"

"Is it the murder in 1967? We've all been there"

"Actually it was in 1987. Okay but really.....The only friends I've ever really had has been my sister and my ex, and some online friends here and there I guess but we lost contact really quickly. What I mean is that I'm really rusty on this whole friend thing and I'm just glad that you don't get annoyed by my infodumping or stimming or....or the whole me!"

Janus' eyes widened and he slowly let up into a laugh "Oh! Oh I have been so worried for nothing then! I've never had any friends, at all! This was literally the first time I ever went to a movie with another person! We're the same!"

Remus giggled "We really are penis soulmates!"

"I am begging you to not let that become a thing"

"Too late! It already is! We're both friendless dorks you motherfucker!! Of course we're penis soulmates!"

Janus sighed "I am suddenly so glad we are close to your place so I can get away from you.....That was a lie"

Remus lightly punched his shoulder "Better be. Or else I'd have to kidnap you!"

He stopped in front of a series of building of obviously quite glamorous apartements. Janus was honestly starting to wonder if he had a sugar daddy and or sold drugs. Or else he had no idea how he could afford all of this.

They stopped right in front of the entrance. Remus crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Janus fiddled with his sleeves. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye.

Janus shuly glanced at his love's face. His birtmarks which he so wanted to press kisses to. His fluffy hair he would love to nuzzle into. His full lips which he thought about running his finger over every time he looked at them. He was beautiful. Just beautiful.

"Sooo....I guess I will either see you in hell or in fake therapy next week?" Remus asked.

"For sure"

He awkwardly opened the door "Well I will see you then then!" He did fingerguns "Bye penis soulmate!"

Janus rolled his eyes while waving "Bye.....phallus companion!"

The door closed and he was left in the silence. It took a few second and then

"YES! OH I did it! I survived! Aphrodite would be so proud of me!!"

Janus had to sit down. He was going to explode. He couldn't stop moving his hands around. He was going to pass out. He had never been happier. He deserved a whole soup bowl of ice cream.

He took off his beanie to drag his hand through his hair. He felt breathless from happiness as he stared up at the sky. He had never felt more in love.

He looked at where he imagined you would stand if you had a corporeal body.

"So I suppose your advice worked quite well. It did sound like he wanted to hang out again...So anon....or whatever voice that is in my head that asks me things......Do you have any suggestions on what we should do on our next hangout?"

[quidfree]

have you read a little life? if you have, opinions on it?

i have not and honestly can’t see why i would anytime soon. good style can make me read a lot but for that much writing about that much abject suffering i could just as easily read some good reporting on global affairs. as a rule although i delight in reading grim and/or grandiose tragedies i am not one for continuous harrowing misery. im sure the author is very talented if she has so many people reading like 10 rape scenes extended weird disability torture and childhood prostitution flashbacks, but i dont really want to read that much suffering and end on a suicide.

for anyone who wants grim suffering psychological horror content though, ‘i’m the king of the castle’ has that bookwise. dogville also cinema-wise.

if anyone has read it (anon included) feel free to tell me why and how you felt about it, though. maybe i’m totally off-base.

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill