#and honestly I could cry just thinking about all this stuff
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Holy shit I love my job. Today is Tea loving her job day.
#its been so incredible like I finally get to do real work in my chosen field#and I’m absolutely in love with it like seriously y’all this job has revived my creativity and love of making art#that I’d kind of lost over the last few years post Covid especially#like I’m happy and excited to draw again it doesn’t feel like a chore or a huge daunting slog to get to something not worth it#I’ve found the joy & passion again I spent my whole evening tonight drawing for fun & making a Pinterest board full of references#so I can start doing some gestural anatomy studies#I’ve wanted to be some sort of artist since I was 4 years old & as a kid I settled on graphic design#because that seemed to be the best path towards making a career out of that#& unlike a lot of people who go into the field looking to just draw for a living#I’ve been so incredibly blessed to find that I actually really love graphic design specifically as a discipline#and holy shit y’all I think I may actually be good at it too#my coworkers are all really cool my boss is incredible she’s so kind#like on my best days I drive home smiling and I just feel really fulfilled#and even in the day to day ‘boring’ bits I’m still getting paid to sit there & draw & listen to music or podcasts all day#which is what I’ve dreamed of being able to do since I was like 12#I’m just really happy and proud of myself and I feel really good & secure about this aspect of my life right now#and honestly I could cry just thinking about all this stuff#like I really am just so amazingly lucky & I’m so happy & grateful rn#spilling the Tea#graphic design is my passion
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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I gotta complain abt being a picky eater here for a sec cuz I'm lookin @ all this stuff on the breakfast menu and there's always the SAME ingredients in all these SAME food items and it would be SO much easier if I could just order food without having to think of all the stuff I DON'T want on my food cuz I always gotta put in so much effort to look into every single ingredient in every since food item that I order bcuz I DON'T LIKE MOST FOODS !!! SMHH !!
#mostly making a post abt this cuz there are ppl out there who think picky eaters are just childish and need to grow up#as if I'm CHOOSING to be a picky eater#and they call it childish cuz they think ppl just don't wanna be healthy and eat veggies and it's not THAT bad or whatever#THE THING IS! I FUCKING LOVE VEGETABLES!! THAT LITERALLY PROVES IT'S NOT PEOPLE JUST THROWING HISSY FITS !!!!#I literally LOVE fruits and veggies and I'm honestly not a big fan of candy like I enjoy it but I have a pretty low limit for em#like I could just eat tons of fruits and veggies no problem but candy makes me sick if I eat more than a few of em#snacks on the other hand like chips and nuts and granola and stuff are a different story#which btw my family does NOT have the same taste buds as me they are all SUPER unhealthy and I like the most healthy foods#not including my outer family members I mean immediate ones that I actually care abt and effect my food palete#ANYWAYS I will say I don't like tomatos that's one of the few I'm not a fan of I don't even really like ketchup that much#tho I have gotten better about spaghetti sauce which I'm sure people would CRY from how plain my pasta is lmao#the sauce is literally called tomato sauce it is LITERALLY tomato sauce it has nothing else in it and it has absolutely no chunks#probably the reason I never had sauce on my spaghetti for so long is cuz it always has CHUNKS in it or little leaf things that would crunch#which I like crunchy but only when it's MEANT to be crunchy#anyway all I'm sayin is it would be nice to get a breakfast burrito but I feel bad changing the order SO MUCH just for me to enjoy it#and most the time other ingredients will get in it regardless and I can't eat it anymore cuz that entire area is infected with the taste#even my Mom thinks I'm crazy for that 🙄 LISTEN IF YOU PUT PEPPERONI ON PIZZA THE FLAVOUR STICKS TO THE PIZZA#DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU TAKE IT OFF THE JUICES THE FLAVOUR IT GOT ON IT I CAN LITERALLY TASTE IT BRO !!!!!#or even a half and half situation if any pepperoni touched MY side of the pizza I am TASTING it and I cannot eat it#trust me it's not a mind thing it has been tested on me before and no one has tricked me into eating it bcuz I simply DO NOT LIKE IT !!#there is no trick to be had I can simply TASTE IT !! smh smh#anyway that is my rant abt being a picky eater quota met for the first half of the year#I have one more I have to make before the end of the year (just saying it'll likely happen is all lmao)
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they should invent a life that doesnt kill itself within me.
#ok mental illness talk ig. =w=b#i am so tired.#i would. like to live life normally#i dont. want to leave class early. i want to stay and focus and be normal about it#i dont want to be so. extremely. exhausted by cycling less then 10 minutes.#i want to do usefull stuff! i dont want to rot in bed all day.#and i know. i KNOW. that i am already doing very well. i am.#but the fact that there are still struggles? struggles ive. been stuck with forever.#its. hard.#i need to forgive myself. but. if everything was perfect i could be SO. much. better.#sillyposting#hm.#im tired.#i need to eat. and maybe sleep.#and i should. forget about schoolwork i need to do.#(guy who is almost crying in public and. cant live a normal life. thinks he still needs to focus on school.)#honestly tbf school is the main exhaust.#i was doing so well.#lets hope next semester wont get as bad as this.#i just. dont want to give up on it. despite the horrors its causing me directly.#i cant. be a failure. i have to push through. surely if i push through things will get quiet later.#hm#i want to get home already.
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I've been passively watching an isat playthrough while twiddling my thumbs in my current oni save as I wait for my new power systems to be done and hey guys. I think one of these bitches is aromantic. Why did no one tell me one of these bitches is aromantic I would have played the game myself if I knew that
#rat rambles#ok tbf I still theoretically Could but I dont think Id survive playing through the like first 6 hours of the stuff Ive already seen#anyways current review is that it's rly well written so far and I like how well the worldbuilding is implemented naturally in the dialogue#having odile be a presumably anthropologist or smth along those lines does wonders for this ofc but even with that its amazing how#natural the party feels when discussing their different cultures#and ofc I am staring at mirabelle hard. this game is clearly not shying away in the slightest from queer topics so. blinks oh so sweetly#I am sooooo fucking desperate for canonically aro characters who are actually written to be aro if she talks abt it at all I Will cry#honestly real con of this is that its making me conceptualize an eternal gales au which is not what I should be thinking abt this early#also its a problem because Im pretty dead set on the idea that aris would be sif and that means tali is off limits#which is unfortunate because I think itd be funny to make her mirabelle on the sole basis of her maybe being aro#otherwise the assignments are pretty easy even if some of them would be looser fits than others based on my current knowledge#mase would be odile fydd would be bonnie and sier would be iz#for mira Im thinking if I wanted to get funky with it then maybe bloom? it doesnt effect sier too much since I can just make it so his mom#was the one frozen in time or smth#now bloom is rly only in the running because of the leftover human kids shes somehow the best choice despite being 9 years old lol#dodie is off the table since I try to practice restraint when using dodie in aus#and the snake triplets are well. the snake triplets.#they have about a billion things that makes them hard to fit into any au#now I could use a stalien instead but thats a Really hard choice for me to make given the rest of the selected cast#plus none of them actually fit that much better than bloom would tbh?#like to be clear basically the only thing keeping bloom from being an easy pick is that shes 9#like I could just do it anyways but I should probably wait a lil bit to make sure mira doesnt pull out some crazy shit to change my mind#based on what I do know the only one thats rly a bit of a stretch is sier but Im ok with that I can just slap a different character arc in#rly most fucked up thing abt this cast is that aris our sif is second tallest#which feels deeply wrong to me especially once you consider the hat#her siouette is going to be all fucked up and different from sif's shes going to be so big compared to them#shes not even That tall shes like 5'8 thats just tall compared to most of her companions#in canon shes the third tallest of the friend group and second tallest not counting dodie#so its mase then her and in this hypothetical au the rest of the garden gnome squad#sier is 5'1 fydd is 5 flat and bloom is 4'9 if Im remembering correctly
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➪ ‘TIL NEXT TUESDAY



➪ mark lee x cisfem!reader ✩ w.c 8.5k — NSFW ✩ 18+ minors dni —
✰ NON-IDOL AU
pov: you're a camgirl with a secret admirer who's a little (okay maybe a lot) obsessed
note: y'all do not understand the pain,,, the struggle,,,, the trauma that this fic has inflicted upon me <//3 i quite literally started writing it last year on mark lees stupid lil bday and have been typing away at it for so mf long and have had to dig into the deepest filthiest depths of my brain to finally finish this,,,,, anyways welcome to my twisted mind and we can all blame mark lee my greatest enemy,,,, i hate u… anyways pls make note of the warnings !!! btw don’t ask me what website they’re using idk i couldn’t be fcked to think that hard
warnings: NSFW CONTENT, aka smut, obsessive behavior, viscerally lewd comments, uh lying LOL, wolf in sheep’s clothing energy (good church boy mark lee and his hidden demons <3), honestly both reader and mark r freaky (aww they match each others freaks!), readers thinly veiled shame kink, unsafe sex/no condom, barely any prep lol, not beta read bc im a full send girl (sorry for any typos etc LMAO)
There’s clearly something wrong with user ‘66golden_boy99’ and you can’t quite figure it out. Sure, he seems to be just another fan of your work. And maybe his comments tended to be on the imaginative side.
i wanna dick you down til next tuesday
stuff your guts this thursday and stay buried in you thru the weekend
til youre cryin to me about how you can feel my dick in your throat
how pretty would you cry for me?
That little voice in the back of your head whispers (the one that sounds far too much like Donghyuck), an annoying little I told you so, someone was bound to get obsessed. It wasn’t like you never considered or even feared the possibility.
But these comments, this person, there was something there. You click into a different video, scrolling down to a specific cluster of comments.
i wanna ruin you so fuckin bad
ruin that pussy for anyone else
wanna hear you beg me to stop
until it turns into begging me for more
sound fun sweetheart?
Every video, every clip, every single little teaser you post; there’s a thread from him. His stupid username right there, ‘66golden_boy99’ and a digital paper trail that ranges from being unforgivably horny to borderline demented and most of the time a combination of both.
fuck if i could keep you in a little cage…
i’d fuck u every day all day
turn you into my perfect little pet
made just for my cock
don’t you want that too?
You can’t help but let your mouth gape at that one, a cage? Your head spins at the thought, trying (and failing) to not let your imagination wander.
There’s a certain thrill that crawls down your spine, twisting itself deep into your gut and lodging itself there. An ache that just you can’t quite itch yourself, barely sated by these comments.
So yeah, there’s definitely something wrong with user ‘66golden_boy99’ but that could only mean there’s something wrong with you.
“Mark, read this! Isn’t it insane?” Donghyuck all but smacks him in the face with your phone.
“Oh! Um.” He immediately flushes, no doubt flustered by the nature of the comments along with the fact he’s one of your few friends who still gets a little red in the cheeks by your choice of profession.
Good church boy Mark Lee at your service. Who thankfully plucks your phone from Donghyuck and passes it back to you— most likely to avoid further being subjected to such filth in broad daylight.
“Don’t bust a tit Hyuck, it’s just some dude living out his freaky fantasy while hiding behind a screen.” You knew it was going to be brought up the moment you saw your friends, but you had hoped that Donghyuck would have the decency to not mention it while seated outside a popular cafe on a busy street.
Jokes on you for thinking he could keep his cool about this. The moment you had sent a screenshot to the group chat Donghyuck had been rearing for a fight, overly scandalized and always righteous whenever he thought his friends were being treated badly.
There was no way in hell you’d tell him those comments piqued your debased interest.
“It’s a little creepy.” Jungwoo settles on, stealing a blueberry off of your parfait. “He doesn’t message when you’re live though.”
“Nope, only comments on clips and videos.” You bite back your disappointment, maintaining an almost clinical tone.
“Does he even watch your streams?” Jungwoo questions as he attempts to swipe a strawberry this time, narrowly thwarted by you whacking his hand with your plastic spoon.
“What difference does it make? He’s a fucking perv!” Donghyuck snipes.
The answer is yes, he does watch every single one of your streams. Occasionally donates too, yet no messages. No live interactions.
“Hyuck, my whole fanbase are pervs.” You ignore the glare of an elderly woman as she passes by your table. “When did you become such a prude?”
It’s enough of a jab to send the man into a fit, ranting and raving about how he’s perfectly freaky enough and that his boyfriend(s) is (are) so into how weird and kinky he could get.
“Seriously though, is he scaring you?” Mark whispers, careful to not catch Donghyuck’s attention lest he starts laying into you about your “creepy” admirer again. Mark’s considerate like that.
For a moment you sit with the question, mindlessly spooning around your half eaten parfait. Were you scared? You knew full well you were bound to deal with the occasional creep when you decided to pursue camming as a full-time job after university.
But you weren’t— aren’t scared, initially you had maybe been a bit unnerved. Yet you hadn’t shared the messages because you wanted your friends to “save” you or anything. More so because you were shocked by the sheer audacity and of course by what was being said.
If Donghyuck wasn’t so busy talking about getting spit roasted much to the horror of Jungwoo, he’d be pestering you for the answer too. And you would’ve lied, told him that you were a little nervous but nothing that’d keep you from carrying on as usual.
Instead you have Mark asking, no trace of judgment behind his thick rimmed glasses, just a curious glint with a healthy dash of concern for a friend.
“He’s not.” Is what ends up coming out. It’s simpler than the whole truth, cleaner as well.
You couldn’t admit to one of your best friends that it sent a thrill down your spine, to have someone so obsessed they comment utter depravity on every post you make. That you’ve checked to make sure this mystery creep was watching your every stream. And that there’s nothing you’ve ever wanted more than to be craved so deeply, to be ached for, to be someone’s sole obsession.
“If you do get freaked out or anything, uh understandably so, we’ll figure something out. I’ll beat him up?” Mark offers one of his dorky smiles, and despite his statement inspiring little hope — seriously Mark is way too sweet to ‘beat’ anyone up — you still appreciate the sentiment. Offering him a big spoonful of whipped cream and strawberries for his valiant statement.
“Hey! Why does Mark get fed and I have to fight for a crumb?” Jungwoo cries out only causing you to roll your eyes and spark even more outrage from him.
You're thankful that the rest of the outing goes on without another mention of a certain fan of yours. Though Mark seems to be shooting more indiscernible looks your way than usual, but that’s easy to chalk down as him just projecting his own anxieties onto you.
When you all start to bid farewell Donghyuck wastes a few minutes to preach about the dangers of internet strangers, while Jungwoo goads and teases him until his nagging is turned onto Jungwoo.
Again Mark offers comfort — though you really have no need for it, considering the fact you honestly are enjoying the debased behavior more than you maybe should — and you pretend to appreciate it.
needa fuck you over and over and over
til your pretty lil pussy is gaping open
so i can see the way i paint you up inside
wouldn’t you like that?
Yes, you dig your teeth into your bottom lip, fuck yes.
You had just posted a teaser for your next video, a simple reaction to some random threesome video your subscribers had begged you to watch.
And as always without fail, only a few minutes after you’ve hit post your phone lights up with notifications from ‘66golden_boy99’. You should hate how much you look forward to it— how you’re practically gagging for it (him).
You remember his first thread of comments, remember the scandal that pumped through your veins as the words registered in your brain.
The thrill.
well aren’t you a sweet thing
He had started it off so normally.
you look like you dont care for just any kind of fun
you look like u need to be fucked within an inch of your life
thrown around and violated like a stupid little toy
i could do that
It’s the only time he hadn’t ended with a question. The only statement needed to stake his claim, to solidify his place.
It planted the seed right in your lust ridden mind, the growing need to see more and more. It becomes a sick little ritual, to go looking for his comments just after you tuck yourself into bed under the guise of resting for the day.
You’re desperate enough to reread old ones, to stare at the same comments from days or even weeks ago. Sometimes he’ll throw you a bone, coming back to leave another thread of comments for you to find.
wanna fill you up so bad
make you take it over and over and over
til my cum is dripping outta you for days
so that all that’s in your pretty head is the thought of my cock pumping you full
wanna make it happen?
Maybe it’s the way you’ve never replied to them, or even acknowledge them in a stream. It doesn’t deter him from continuing, his perverted dedication proving something to you. Something twisted and delicious and all too tempting.
need you so bad
just need to use you over and over and over and over so fuckin bad
turn you into my own pretty fleshlight to use whenever i please
just wanna use you all up baby
how much can you take?
Thursday streams are one of your three weekly streams, and while it had marginally less viewers therefore profit than your Friday and every other Saturday ones, it was by far your favorite.
The chat is far more relaxed, which means you have a better chance to interact with viewers, to have a more intimate stream.
It means you can instead sit at your desk, dressed in nothing but an oversized white tee, playing with your hair and batting your lashes. While making idle conversation as your viewers dutifully pay you compliments and donate small amounts as a hello.
66golden_boy99: hey there
“Oh? Golden boy? And here I was thinking you weren’t interested enough in having a live convo with me.” You wonder if he waited for this, a Thursday stream with an even lower than usual number of viewers to finally send his first message in chat. Was your little freak shy? Only able to sling his filth when nobody was paying attention?
Too late for that, he was in your sights now.
66golden_boy99: nah just liked sitting here and watching you too much
“Is that so?” You feign distraction, looking off towards the side as you tap your chin thoughtfully. “But here I am, doing nothing. Isn’t that boring?”
There’s a flood of no’s in the chat, messages ranging from horny to sweet about how some like just chatting and others saying that you should at least take off your shirt.
“My shirt? It’s only been twenty-ish minutes since I’ve started and you all don’t wanna butter me up first? Tell me how pretty I am?” You’re accused of being a tease, which is of course your exact angle. Some of them bite, sending cooing comments about how they’d love to see your shirt off, some going as far as to send in a few dollars.
$200 from 66golden_boy99
it’s okay sweetheart, show em what’ll be mine
Your jaw drops, because while he had tipped in the past, it was never this much. You can’t help the shiver that itches down your spine, ‘what’ll be mine’ he says, like he already has you in the bag.
“Aww you wanna see me that bad? Everyone say thank you to Golden Boy!” You goad, making a show of hooking your thumbs in the hem of your shirt. Slowly you drag the fabric across your flesh, inch by inch exposing how you truly had nothing under your flimsy excuse for clothing.
66golden_boy99: and where’s your thank you?
“That’s right, you were so generous after all, I should give you a little treat to show my appreciation.” Again you flutter your lashes. “How do you want me?”
66golden_boy99: spreading your legs like a desperate slut
66golden_boy99: wanna see you fuck your fingers
66golden_boy99: cmon babe show off your perfect pussy and open yourself up for me
“Anything for you.” And maybe you’re a little fucked in the head for how much you mean it.
You’ve never had a favorite before. Nobody in your chat, comments and so on have ever caught your attention. They’ve never bothered to be so interesting, to be so openly obsessed.
Slowly you let your hands wander, cupping your tits before letting your fingertips dance along your ribcage, inching down, down, down.
You pathetically think of him, wonder who’s on the other side of the screen. It could be some old man, or some greasy incel, maybe it’s someone you’ve met on the street. It could be anyone, and it sickens you almost as much as it excites you.
Carefully, you plant your feet on the edge of your desk, sliding down a few inches in your chair as you spread nice and wide for the camera.
“This what you want?” The words jumble in your mouth as your fingers continue to find their way south. You dig your nails into your thighs, moaning loudly at the bite of them into your tender skin.
Shame was something that had long escaped you in this field of work, only the tastefully faked sense of it ever gracing you these days. But there’s that all too familiar burn crawling back into your chest after almost years of nothing. Scorching away at your insides as your fingers drag along your waiting pussy.
You’re wet, you’re wet and it’s because of some fucking freak on the internet. Your eyes zero in on the chat, hoping to catch a comment from him.
66golden_boy99: fucking perfect for me always so good
It’s all you need to keep going, to let wanton moans tumble out left and right as your back arches into your own touch.
The sense of shame doesn’t diminish, doesn’t fade as you tease your clit and pump your fingers pitifully into your sopping cunt, loudly bemoaning the fact you didn’t grab a toy.
66golden_boy99: you’ll cum just like this baby, no toys, just your fingers and wishing it was me instead
“Nnn- please.” It’s whiner than you’ve ever heard yourself, because goddammit you are wishing it was him. Old man be damned he had a wicked way of speaking, of sneaking into the dark recesses of your mind and ripping you open. Exposing a side of you that you’d long since buried, a side of you craving to be devoured wholly.
Pleasure snakes through your body, dropping down into your belly as you cum with a whimper. You make a show of bringing your fingers to your lips, tongue flicking out to taste yourself, that sick part of you hoping it makes him want you more.
You slump against your chair, mindlessly answering chats as you fix yourself into a more comfortable position. You don’t bother looking for your shirt, letting your viewers enjoy watching your chest rise and fall in panting breaths, admire the way the sweat gleams on your skin.
You hope his eyes are glued to his screen. You hope you’re driving him absolutely insane.
“I fear I might be tapped out for the night, but don’t worry there’s always Sunday.” You manage to get out a real sentence, your brain still a little mushy from the post-orgasm haze. “Sweet dreams everyone!”
You take a moment to let the chat fill with well wishes, a few more donations and scan for a message from one user in particular.
66golden_boy99: good night sweet thing, dream of me
And oh, you just might.
Ending streams were nothing special, just a click of a button and your privacy was all yours again. Leaving you with a plethora of thoughts, a tiny remnant of that formerly elusive shame and a craving for something or more accurately someone.
Send a friend request to 66golden_boy99?
What did you have to lose? What did you have to gain?
There’s a little angel on your shoulder in the shape of Donghyuck, your ever annoying moral compass, telling you to go shower and to never feed into this anonymous man’s delusions again.
While the little devil on your shoulder shaped like Yuta does nothing, sits there and smirks at you knowing full well you’ll choose his route.
You always do.
Sorry Hyuck.
Friend request sent!
Three days go by, no comments, no messages on stream, nothing. Absolute silence.
You can’t help yourself but watch each excruciating second tick by, waiting for something, anything from him. Three whole days of obsessively checking your phone, every social media tied to your occupation and nothing.
It’s like he up and fucking forgot about you. And maybe three days seems too short of a timeline to be losing it, but this is a man who has been all over your account — and notifications — for months.
And he gets scared off by a friend request.
God, you should’ve known better than to trust Yuta, even if he was just a figment of your imagination at that moment. Though the real Yuta would’ve said the same thing anyway, therefore still making this whole ordeal his fault.
But as fun as blaming your friend and obsessing over whether your twisted little admirer would accept your request, let alone give you something to work with nowadays. It was driving you up the fucking wall.
You need a distraction, and you need it badly.
Your usual and immediate reaction to having nothing to do and needing attention would be to ask Donghyuck to go out and do something stupid, but the lucky bastard was on vacation with his boyfriend(s?) probably getting fucked into the new year.
So you’re left to consider your options but Jungwoo is definitely still at work and Yuta just left to visit his family. And your other friends lived too far.
That only left you with Mark. God, you need more friends in close proximity. Not because you don’t like Mark, you adore the man if anything and still consider him one of your best friends. It's just that despite all the years of friendship the two of you just haven’t figured out how to quite mesh conversationally like the others.
You need more spark, conviction. Mark Lee talks like a wet noodle came to life and decided to use ‘yo’, ‘dude’ and ‘woah’ on a permanent rotation.
At least he’s a great listener.
And since he’s one of your closest friends nonetheless, he would have no problem with you coming over to eat his snacks and lounge on his couch while he works from home.
So you shoot him a text.
TO: marky markmarkly sparkly can i cum over ;P
FROM: marky markHaha sure dude! I told you stop spelling it like that > <
TO: marky markprude be there in 10 want coffee ?
FROM: marky markSure! Caramel latte please :3
He even texts like a good and innocent church boy. But he’s definitely had girlfriends, and that one boyfriend, so there’s no way he’s a virgin. Is it possible to be a blushing virgin in spirit and at heart?
“Hey beautiful, what can I get ya?” The barista’s stare is nothing short of sleazy, not even bothering to make eye contact as he tries to magically see through your clothing.
“I’ll take a caramel latte, lemme double check what my boyfriend wanted, hmm just a regular coffee.” And okay it’s a little demeaning to Mark to switch your coffee orders in front of this greaseball.
The boyfriend comment works well enough, if you take the guy opting to just stare at your ass as you walk out the door instead of bullying you for your number a win.
Thankfully Mark's apartment is just around the corner, and somehow you manage to key in the code not once but twice despite carrying two drinks.
“Marky! Coffee!” Immediately he comes tumbling down the hallway, eyes wide with confusion. His hair is sticking up in different directions, his glasses crooked and half-hanging off his face. His sweat stained white tee, and low hanging gray sweats only the cherry atop the homebody trainwreck sundae of a man before you.
“Hey, yo, shit! Uh dude!” He stops a few steps in front of you, scratching his head sheepishly. “I thought…you would take longer.”
“Do I look like Jungwoo? Or worse, Yuta?” You feign offense with a dramatic gasp.
“Nah! Ha…ha, um come on in, it’s a fuckin’ mess but like you know, ‘m swamped with work and…”
You hand him his latte and push past him, barely batting an eye at the nightmarish state of his apartment. There’s mountains of paperwork and books stacked along the walls, empty food boxes, bags and wrappers scattered across the floor (along with any other available surface) and you’re trying desperately to not gag at the state of his kitchen.
“Johnny would clean?” You muse as you kick aside an empty pasta box.
“Johnny would clean.” He sighs. Johnny, being Mark’s roommate, along with (one of) Donghyuck’s boyfriend(s???) is currently on vacation. On top of that, from what you've heard, he’s barely been at the apartment at all the past few months. Definitely too busy catering to every single one of Hyuck’s whims and dramatics.
“I could help?”
“Woah! I couldn’t ask you that, I made this mess on my own. I’ll clean it er.. eventually.” He gestures loosely.
“Mark Lee.” You muster up your best deadpan tone. “I’m so bored I’m gonna chew my own hand off, please let me help you clean your awfully disgusting apartment.”
“That bad?” He snorts.
“I think that pile of dust moved on it’s own.” At least you’re hoping it’s a pile of dust and not some undiscovered rodent that thrives in the apartments of bachelors with piss poor cleaning habits.
“…I think you’re right. Hey um, lemme just shower and change, I think I’m just as gross as this place. We can clean together. So just…” He shoves aside the pile of laundry inhabiting the couch just enough to give you a place to sit. “Sit for a second?”
The poor guy looks like he’s on the brink of a meltdown, and if you didn’t know Mark as well as you do you would’ve called an ambulance. But he just always has that air around him, exhausted and overworked— but always smiling through it.
“I’m in no rush.” You pat his arm before taking a seat in the space he so generously carved out for you. The second Mark walks off to the bathroom you make yourself nice and comfortable, switching on the TV, straightening out some of the magazines and assorted papers on the coffee table.
Mindlessly you even start folding some of the laundry next to you. The thought of taking pictures and sending them to Donghyuck so he could show Johnny just how far his roomie has fallen in his absence promptly interrupts your side task.
But to your dismay you find your phone is barely holding on by a few measly percentages. Looking around the living room you know there’s definitely no hope in trying to find a charger on your own. So instead you head off towards the bathroom, following the sound of the shower pouring down.
“Mark!” You knock harshly, hoping he can hear you okay.
“Yeah?” His voice comes through clear, sounding only a little startled by your sudden presence.
“Need to charge my phone!”
There’s a moment of pause and you can only assume it’s because his room is so hellish he can’t even remember where he put the thing.
“By my bed!”
“Thanks!”
His room is actually better than the living room and kitchen, not by much, but still better. You navigate around the clothes and books strewn about the floor. Giggling at his wastebasket full of balled up tissues and a used up bottle of lotion, you definitely couldn’t wait to tell Donghyuck when he gets back.
Making fun of Mark was an art, a beloved pastime of your friend group. And he always took it like a champ.
You plop down on his unmade bed, looking around for his charger. It’s half under the bed when you spot it, tugging the cord only for there to be a bit of resistance. Carefully you lower yourself to the floor, yanking at the charger and forcing Mark’s IPad to come flying at you.
“Shit!” It lands next to you face down on the hardwood and you pray to whatever gods that you haven’t cracked it. Slowly you pick it up, carefully flipping it over as you prepare yourself for the damage.
“Oh, my god.”
Because it’s not cracked, it’s not even locked, it’s still open to what Mark had been watching last to be exact.
One of your streams, one of your streams with you bent over one of your pillows, both holes stuffed with toys in the perfect position for the camera to see everything. It’s not even a new video, you haven’t done anything like that in months.
There’s a blur in your vision as you shoot up, lightheaded from standing up straight so suddenly. A scorching heat begins to burn in your gut, creeping through your veins.
You can still hear the shower going, and you know it must be wrong, to go through his private device like this but…it’s you. He’s been watching you, one of your most bible-thumping, prude-built friends who can barely look you in the eyes and blushes whenever you or your friends make dirty jokes, has been watching your debaucherous streams and has never said a word.
Sure, Yuta and Jungwoo have confessed to watching more than once and Donghyuck is a fucking mod for your streams. It never bothered you if your friends watched, it wouldn’t bother you now.
But this is…this is different. He kept his viewership a secret, and you weren’t sure what to make of it. Was he too embarrassed to say? Was he afraid it’d ruin your friendship?
You close out the video, looking through his watch history which consists solely of your videos, looking at who he follows — you, only you, and you can’t tell if that’s a good thing yet — and now the used tissues in his trash bin don’t feel so funny anymore.
“Oh.” You mutter lamely as you open up his comment history. Fucking oh.
66golden_boy99: wanna fuck you with my tongue til youre squirting all over my face
And your world collapses, punctuated by the sound of the shower turning off— yet that’s lost on your ears. You can’t hear anything but the furious pound of your heart trying to dismantle your ribcage, your blood rushing through your veins and sloshing around your head.
Mark Lee, sweet, kind and innocent. Mark Lee, who stutters just talking about who he likes. Mark Lee, the resident saint of the group.
Is him.
The man who’s been peddling filth into your mind, who’s been haunting you every time you decide to start your stream or post a video, skulking around every comment section with your name on it.
Is Mark fucking Lee.
“Heya! Did ya find…it.” It’s cinematic honestly, the way his stride slows as his eyes frantically flicker back and forth between you and the IPad. “Y-Y-You!”
It’s instantaneous, his face turning a brilliant crimson as he trips over himself to grab the tablet and throw it haphazardly to the side.
His chest is heaving, panic creasing his features as you look him over. He kept the same color scheme, you think emptily, white tank top and gray basketball shorts. It does nothing for your brain as you stare at him mouth agape.
“I c-can explain?” He has the audacity to squeak, to look ashamed even. He’s trying to hide behind his bangs as they fall over his eyes, trying to look so innocent despite his filthy secret coming to light.
“Why didn’t you accept my friend request?” It’s probably not what you should open with, and Mark’s jaw simply hanging open at the question might be a testament to that.
“…What?” His croaks, voice hoarse.
“You didn’t accept it, why? And where have you been, it’s been three whole days? I’ve been fucking waiting for—”
“You’re not mad?” His voice is still uneven, and even a pitch higher.
“Mad? Mad? I’m pissed, you, you idiot!” And you are. Probably. Your mind so fucked from trying to comprehend this newfound piece of info you don’t even know where to begin with how you’re feeling. So mad must be the best place to start.
“For months I’ve been wondering who had the fucking balls to send these freaky borderline insane comments.” He flinches. “Wondering just who the hell was making me feel like, like…that.”
“I—”
“And it was you! Right under my nose, looking at me with those stupid round eyes and big glasses a-and you just pretended like you knew nothing? …I got off to you on stream?” You hate the way your voice sounds so high in your ears, teetering on the edge of full blown shrieking.
“Please, I’m sor…”
“When Hyuck showed those comments were you even ashamed?” You hiss.
He’s blubbering now, eyes pinned somewhere to the ground; half cooked sentences or maybe excuses scattering about the floor with the rest of his mess. It’s all lost on your ears, a million different thoughts in your head drowning it all out.
His hands raise as if admitting defeat, even beginning to back away in a pitiful attempt at escaping but like hell you’ll let the fool get away from you now.
“Goddammit, Mark Lee, look at me!” And he does, his mouth snapping shut and eyes focusing on you. His stupid glasses are nowhere to be seen, giving you an unfiltered front row view of how his pupils are blown wide. “Did you mean it?”
“Mean…what?” You could kill him, you really could because how after all these months of sending you towards the edge with the crudest, filthiest words he can barely say a proper sentence standing before you.
“Any of it! All of it, was it all just talk?” You must’ve hit a nerve. He’s silent again, eyes narrowing for a moment at the accusation. But it slips away, a fickle persona he shoves down.
His hands lower to his sides.
“...What do you want?” His voice is more even, eyebrows knitting together.
You know what he’s asking — he was obvious like that, his heart always worn so proudly on his sleeve — because even now with his disgusting secret out in the open between the two of you. He has the audacity to try to take the gentlemanly route of getting you to explicitly state what you want from him, if you want him.
When all you’ve been waiting for was for him to take.
“What do I want, huh? Let me tell you what I think first.” You know this will definitely make or break what happens next, and maybe even your friendship. But you’re sick of his games, of dancing around whatever the hell was going on between the two of you. “I think you’re all bark and no fucking bite, I think you hide behind a screen because you’re a coward and you probably couldn’t fuck your way out of a wet paper bag.”
His eyes narrow once more.
“You hide behind your good little god fearing boy next door persona when you’re a freak who likes watching one of his best friends get off on camera!”
He takes a step closer.
“I think you’re filthy and depraved, a repressed weirdo with disgusting kinks. A borderline incel!”
And another step.
“I bet the second you actually got inside of me you’d cum and cry yourself to sleep in a matter of seconds.” His expression darkens at that, and now you’re starting to think that you should stop.
But where’s the fun in that?
“You couldn’t handle even half the shit you said online, you cowardly little prude, you tiny dicked—”
You don’t realize his hands are on you until you're backed against the wall, one tightly gripping your hip while the other lands on your chest keeping you firmly in place.
“You never shut up. Even in your streams and videos you're constantly yammering on, whimpering and whining and begging.” His voice is low, buzzing around your ears and in your head. You look down at the tent forming in his shorts, mouth drying and watering simultaneously.
“That for me?” Your tongue feels thick as you look up at him through your lashes.
The hand on your chest inches up, until his palm settles against your throat and you're left wondering if he’ll indulge you by tightening his fingers. Even just a little.
“Even now, can’t shut the fuck up.” He moves in closer, until his hardened cock is against your thigh and he’s forcing his knee between yours. “I asked what you wanted, not for you to insult me.”
“You-”
“So I’ll tell you what I want.” And you feel so wildly out of your depth, there’s a cognitive dissonance you can’t quite escape. Good church boy Mark means wholesome activities, ice cream in the park, farmer’s markets and, and–
“And then you’re gonna try again for me.”
“M-Me?” It comes out lamely. Is this really Mark Lee? You think belatedly. Looking at you like he wants to tear you apart inch by inch with nothing but his teeth and tongue.
“I want you on my tongue, on my cock, want you begging for me to stop but it’s all just a filthy fucking lie. I want you to want me to ruin you, this, us.” His voice is raspier, laced with a desperation and craving you’ve never heard before and damn do you need to hear more, so much more.
“So try again. Tell me what you want.” And you can see it, that plea in his eyes for you to just say it. To know you want this as badly as he does, the promise, the threat of him finally letting go looming over the two of you.
“Want.” You grab him by the face, pressing your nose against his and staring into the black depths of his pupils. “Want good boy Mark Lee to die right before my eyes, wan’ you to eat me ‘til nothin’ is left.”
It’s slurred, you’re delirious, so drunk off the way he’s already hard off of you screaming at him (or maybe it was getting caught), at the way he’s demanding you to express your want for him when you’d rather just be on your knees.
But the thing is you always have wanted, craved. That underlying itch to see one of your best friends let loose, the borderline wanting (what you thought was) a random stranger to break into your apartment and do filthy, unmentionable things to you. When you flipped over that IPad thinking you broke it to find yourself being the object of his debauched desire, when you saw his username on the site.
You ached.
It’s stupid and toeing the line of embarrassing with how badly you want, no, need him, how turned on by the fact he doesn’t even know which person to be in front of you. Doesn’t quite know how to be both.
“Let him die.” Is all he can say, having the audacity to take advantage of your stupor to kiss you. To push you back up against the wall and slot his lips against yours, pulling back just to dive back in before you could truly feel his absence. Over and over each one messier, hotter than the last as a debaucherous hunger flows between the two of you.
“You don’t get it.” He mumbles, pressing himself firmly against you, sweat starting to prickle against your skin. “When y-you started camming I didn’t know what to do with myself.”
And suddenly you could see it, vividly. Just behind your eyelids was Mark hunched over in his bed, one of your streams or videos playing in the background as he furiously chased his release. Only to be left wallowing in the shame of jerking it with cheap lotion to you, forced to clean himself off with even cheaper tissues and spending the rest of his night completely alone.
“Your perfect fucking pussy, for everyone to see…when I’ve been waiting.” He rasps, hands finding their way back onto your body. “Couldn’t stand it, couldn’t fuckin’ stand it.”
“Mm, Ma-ark…” Without hesitation he twists his head, allowing himself to sink his teeth at the base of your throat. Pulling away to focus another dark look at you, that heady mixture of unmitigated want and wicked promises swirling in his eyes.
“S’All I could think about, even with our friends.” He noses along your jaw, nipping at your earlobe as his breathing turns ragged. “Wanted to haul you onto the table and fuck you ‘til your head went dumb, ‘til all was left was you squealing like a fuckin’ whore while they all watched.”
There’s a cartoon halo of stars around your head, surely there is, each word from his mouth adding another to the ditzy constellation circling your brain. This is him, this is Mark ‘Golden Boy’ Lee and his once hidden (and so deliciously unhinged) silver tongue.
“Pl-Please, oh fu— please.” His lips are back to working against your throat, and just as you try to reach up and grab at him, to try and sway him into relieving some of the tension building in the air.
He steps back, yanking at your arm.
Yet he doesn’t give you a chance to simply fall, or even react. Instead he uses your off-kilter balance to push you onto your knees, thankful that he’s a sloppy loser when you land on a pile of clothes.
“This.” He doesn’t bother being shy about tugging his shorts and boxers off in one fluid motion. “This is how I want you.”
He pauses, as if to let you admire the view and you’re not nearly above doing so as your eyes roam so shamelessly.
Of course he’s cut, with neatly trimmed hair adorning his groin. And though he's just above average in length, he definitely makes up in girth. You think hazily that calling him tiny dicked was definitely a lie.
Your mouth waters.
He lets out a low chuckle of all things, surely laughing at the way your eyes have widened. And maybe you did let your tongue swipe over your lips in anticipation.
“Go ahead, before I make it hurt.” His words are delayed, understanding creeping in slowly; impaired by having long let that fog of desperation cloud your mind.
You move before you can think, nosing along the side of his cock, pressing a kiss to a cute little mole that you hope to revisit at a later date. But for now you’re flattening your tongue against the base of his shaft and dragging it up his length at a frustrating rate.
He’s heavy on your tongue, thick and heavy and so so hot, and fuck he tastes good or maybe you’re just already addicted. Doomed from the start.
There’s a war raging in your mind, whether to try your hardest to please him with your mouth, all too tempted to hear the pretty, desperate sounds he’ll make and maybe it’ll earn you a bit of praise. Or to tease until he’s pissed off enough to throw any regard for you and your (throat’s) wellbeing out the window.
The latter is far more appealing.
Coyly you look up at him again through your lashes once more, bringing your tongue to tease at the tip of his cock, licking off a bead of precum forming.
“Are you tryin’ to blow me or piss me off?” Ah, so he has you all figured out.
“Haven’t decided.” You reply properly by taking his tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before sinking further down and ignoring the slightly uncomfortable stretch of your lips. You could get used to this.
Languidly you try to mind your teeth as you sink further down, your jaw aching at the unprecedented stretch. Shallowly you bob your head, barely giving anything as you look up to meet his burning gaze.
“Enough.” He groans, clearly sick of the teasing as his hand comes around to hook his fingers around the back of your head.
It’s enough of a warning as your hands come up to grip at his bare thighs, whimpering at the first tentative thrust. Unable to escape, knees aching and you can’t help but wonder how damp your panties will be by the time you get them off.
He’s careful at first, not to be too rough in his movements, trying to be considerate of your comfort. It’s ridiculous, and you let him know as much by stabbing your nails into his thighs only forcing him to accidentally bottom out.
Tears well in your eyes as you choke, gagging around the sinfully thick intrusion into your throat.
“Woah! Fuck, I’m sor-”
He starts to pull away, and desperately you chase after him. But the fucker pulls out, grabbing you by the cheeks to look you in the eyes.
“Do I have to start calling you names again?” Your voice is already wrecked, but not nearly enough, it could be worse, so much worse. If he would just fully let go. “Or are you just scared?”
He blinks at you, once, twice, those stupidly big eyes of his narrowing into something dangerous.
“Two taps if it’s too much.”
“It won’t be.” You barely finish the sentence as he grabs you on either side of your head with both hands, pressing the leaking head of his cock against the seam of your lips, precum smearing across. You barely open your mouth before he’s shoving his entire cock down your throat again.
You can see him, blurred by the tears stuck to your lashes, watching you with such reverence as you pitifully try to relax, still unable to avoid gagging and choking. Yet this time he offers no reprieve, keeps you firmly in place as tears stream down your face and your nails continue to dig into his thighs.
“T-That’s it, choke.” The break in his voice sends something hot through your chest, snaking through the rest of your body and creeping into your veins. How embarrassed would you really be if you came just from having your throat fucked?
“Where are you?” Your wandering thoughts immediately cease, drawn back in by his fingers dancing along your cheekbone before settling at the back of your head.
He doesn’t even have the decency to let you catch your breath after pulling your attention, shallow thrusts turning reckless as he fucks your face with little regard for you— it’s everything you’ve every wanted from him.
It sends another surge of heat down into your belly, pooling between your thighs and now you’re wondering if your poor panties will even be salvageable after this.
“Fuck that’s it, so fuckin’ good for me.” He bites his lip, and a part of you wishes you could be tugging on it too with your teeth.
Use me, use me, use me. The thought fills your mind, leaving room for nothing else but Mark and his cock and your jaw and throat struggling to keep up.
Frantically you tap on his calf, his response instantaneous.
“You good?” He pulls out again, swiping his thumb along your bottom lip to wipe away a mess of spit and precum.
“Need you,” and you could care less how your voice shakes and rasps, “need you in me so bad. Fuck me.”
Your fingers dig into his thighs as you muster up the best pitiful look possible, silently begging for more.
“C-Condom, need, condom.” He huffs, looking around his room frantically.
“Like hell, what happened to painting my insides huh?” Shakily you stand up, managing to push him towards the bed which he doesn’t even bother resisting. “Thought you wanted your cum dripping from my pussy for days.”
And he fucking growls, the sound so wildly animalistic you can barely believe it came from him.
“That what you want? You wanna feel me for days?” You’re on your back in a matter of seconds, his forearms landing on either side of your head to cage you in. He’s staring you down with an uncharacteristic intensity; a predator sizing up his prey.
“Ruin me for anybody else.” It comes out broken, desperation seeping from each word. How much more do you need to bend before he finally breaks?
He’s back on you, a barrage of teeth and tongue assaulting your flesh as his hands leave no part of you untouched, kneading and feeling. Just as you try to bring your own shirt over your head he pushes away your hands, allowing him to take over stripping you bare.
Each caress of his fingers leaves a trail of fire, almost too hot to bear.
“Please Marky, please.” It comes out high and whiny and so very needy. “Touch me more.”
“I’ll give you what you want, just lemme…fuck lemme look at you.” He catches your wrists just as you try to bring your hands up to cover your face, pinning your arms against your sides as his eye shamelessly trace over your figure. There’s a glint of something hungry, swirled with something akin to adoration.
“Y-You like m-me, you’re obsessed.” You
“Yeah, I really fucking am.” He’s grinning, all teeth with a hint of gums that makes your heart somehow pound even harder and you know you’re well and truly fucked. “Like you s’much gonna keep you on my cock forever.”
He lets go of your hands, grabbing at your thighs to spread them apart, callused fingers dragging up until he’s almost carelessly pressing a finger into you.
“Fuck, you can… o-oh keep me!” You whimper as he bullies one, then two more fingers into your throbbing cunt— there’s a determination bordering on desperation creasing his brow in order to prep you as quickly as possible.
“Next time, I’ll spend fuckin’ hours doin’ this.” You whine as he drags his fingers out of you.
His hands hook under your thighs, pressing up and up until he can hook your legs over his shoulders and he’s pressing the blunt head of his cock against your hole. There’s a slight sting as he pushes in, the stretch unfamiliar and despite how wet you are some lube would’ve helped.
But you well and truly could care less.
“I don’t care who sees this, you, I’m the only one who gets to touch, the only one who gets to fuck you like this.” He rasps, bottoming out in one harsh thrust and punching the air out of your lungs.
He’s kind enough to let you catch your breath, indulging you with a few soft kisses along your jaw and nipping at your bottom lip. But it doesn’t last long, following a sloppy kiss with a tentative grind of his hips, then a soft thrust.
Those desperate whines you usually play up for your streams easily escaping your lips as he builds a steady rhythm.
“Yes, yes, yes, Mark.” It’s perfect, every single thrust is perfect, the way you're folded in half, the feeling of his fingers digging into you, the strain of toned muscles under flushed skin; so fucking perfect. “Only you.”
And you mean it, fully, wholeheartedly without any hesitation. Only Mark, if that’s what he wants then you want it too, whatever Mark wants he can have.
“M’Close, fuck, I’m so close.” You whimper, raking your fingers through his still damp hair.
“Already?” It spears through your chest, harsh and burning and tears down your belly.
There’s a split second of perfect silence interrupting the sound of skin slapping against skin, a ringing in your ears followed by the crash of your heart into your ribcage.
Pleasure slices down your spine, rippling through your body in crashing waves and leaving your head spinning.
He fucks you through the high, any chance of a coherent thought spilling right out of your ears, his name garbled and strained as it forces it’s way past your lips.
He slows, as if he’s about to waste both your time and do something stupid like pull out and finish on your stomach. And like hell you’re letting that happen, grabbing at his head with both hands and smashing your lips together, pulling away just enough to stare into blown pupils.
“Cum inside me, you bitch!” His teeth come down on your bottom lip, the bite of iron and tang of sweat and spit swirling together on your tongue dizzying, intoxicating. He slams back into you with a force you didn’t know he had, swallowing down a broken moan from his lips as he spills into you.
“I’m still gonna stream.” The two of you have settled on his now made bed, tucked under the covers. You had no problem letting Mark dress you in a clean tee and boxers, watching sleepily from his desk chair as he made his bed before depositing you in it.
“I’ll still watch.” He hums.
“And comment?” It brings up the matter from earlier, the one you never got an answer to. “Why didn’t you?”
“I…I didn’t know what to do. Uh, it was one thing, hiding, but then I thought you…didn’t…”
“Didn’t?” You raise your head, trying to level your gaze to his.
“Didn’t like m- it, the comments, those messages in chat, all of it. Thought you were just tryin’ to message me to stop. And then I got scared you somehow knew it was…me.” He has that sheepish look smearing his features, a hand coming up to scratch at his nape.
You stare at him silently, watching as his eyes bounce around your face searching for some hint of what you could possibly be thinking.
“Look where that got us, I can’t even feel my legs, oh my god you have to fuck me on stream, please!”
“H-Huh? Live? Yo I can’t just-”
“Think about it, Marky.” Aching hips and sore muscles be damned, you somehow manage to climb into his lap and straddle his thighs. “Fucking me, on camera, for everyone to see just what you do to me. I’d be so good for you.”
You can see it, what little resolve he had starting to crumble, just a little more.
“Don’t you want that?” It’s his words and he knows it, starting to see the monster he’s created. You run your fingers along his jaw, settling one hand on his shoulder while the other comes up to muss up fluffy brown locks. “Stretching me on your fat cock for my pitiful little viewers to see, wishing it was them driving me insane.”
“Baby…” The pet name from his lips is instantly addicting, and you need so much more of it.
“Please.” And now you’re not sure what you’re begging for, your body screams for you to stop, to not roll your hips against his because it’s far too soon to be fucked into the mattress again.
“If, if you don’t stop doing that.” He groans. “You’re not gonna be able to stream tomorrow.”
You blink.
“Wow you really are my biggest fan.”
“Huh?”
“Got my schedule memorized and everything, does that mean we could do it tomorrow? You’ll fuck me on stream tomorrow?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Seriously I–”
“Actually, cancel it.” He’s hooking his hands under your thighs, drawing you closer. “Don’t look at me like that, I said cancel it.”
“Mm, I don’t know if I can go again yet.” But there’s no conviction behind your words.
“You’re fine, I’ll do all the work.” You’re fine he says, it sends a thrill up your spine right into your brain, reworking the entire chemistry in there. It had been there in the back of your mind, slipping in somewhere between finding out his secret and that first kiss.
You’re absolutely hooked, simply addicted, to Mark Lee.
“Okay.” You grin at him.
#mark x reader#mark lee x reader#nct x reader#nct 127 x reader#nct dream x reader#nct smut#nct 127 smut#– miki writes#– mark
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☆彡 age ain’t nothing but a number ˳༄꠶
characters: park gyeong seok (player 246), kang dae ho (player 388), and hwang in ho (player 001 / the frontman)
˳༄꠶ summary: headcannons i have regarding if you - their partner - were younger than them (fem intended! reader, and all legal babes 💋)
park gyeong seok (player 246)
★ he works as a portrait painter near an amusement park, he’s been approached by many younger woman. they usually directly express their interest in him by flirting but he usually brushes it off with a smile and a timid shake of his head. regarding this, i don’t think it would’ve been a problem if he’d gotten into a relationship with a younger woman; he is a the type of older man to get really shy about it though
★ despite the hierarchy in korea where juniors are supposed to automatically respect their elders, gyeong seok doesn’t really push it too much. he treats you as an equal with a bit of extra pampering - he does believe that since he’s the older one in the relationship, he should carry most of the responsibilities, whether that be household chores, bringing money home, or just caring for you and his daughter
★ he isn’t too sensitive to other’s opinions on your relationship, but there are some times where he worries about the age gap. it’s mostly out of worry for you though; i mean he’s nearing closer to finally turning forty and he has a young daughter. he just wants you to be happy. although if you talk it out with him and ease his worries, then i think thoughts like those will eventually dissipate
★ sex with him wouldn’t be any different even if you were younger, he’d still have the same kinks. although he would treat you more gently just to make sure he doesn’t “hurt” you
★ his daughter doesn’t mind the age gap either. you’re sweet, thoughtful and you make her dad happy. the only way she’d ever question the age difference would be from an external factor like whispers from other parents that she overhears or if one her classmates says something about it. if this does happen though, you and gyeong seok would obviously clear stuff up for her
kang dae ho (player 388)
★ to be honest, when he first met you he didn’t even think that you were younger than him. it was only when you clarified your age that he realized that he was older than you. he still pursued you despite it though, because you were both legal adults and he found himself captivated with you; he does tend to get with older women though, more often than he does with younger women
★ he’s another one that gets a bit shy about the fact that he’s dating a younger woman. you and his friends love to tease him about it too, just so you can hear him stutter as he tries to figure out a comeback; if one of his friends make a bad comment about your relationship though, he’ll post tf up. but make sure to drag him away, he’s not really good in physical fights
★ he’s more shy when he subs for you. something about you being younger than him yet having all this power over him makes him red in the face (and rock hard in his slacks)
★ i feel like he’d try to coddle you, but you’d hit him with the “i had you crying and begging for me last night, i can take care of myself.” he’d pout when you’d brushed off his advances, but would eventually get over it; he just loves you sm
★ with you, he honestly acts like a himbo. don’t get me wrong, he’s not unintelligent, but it’s like he’s so starstruck with your presence that it kinda short circuits his brain; it makes him all the more lovable though!
hwang in ho / 001 / the frontman
★ this man does not give one flying fuck that you’re younger than him. in fact, it boosts his ego that he was able to bag such a beautiful young baddie like you; just know you’re gonna be as spoiled as hell
★ he’s so detached from people’s opinions that he could not give less of a rats ass about their opinion on your relationship. if it does somehow tick him off though, then he’ll just put a bullet in them
★ if you’re his significant other, there isn’t much of an opportunity to return back to society. he doesn’t want to risk you interacting with other people - especially if you were a previous player; you disappeared without a trace and then suddenly returned to society? it would cause more problems than solutions. he makes sure to make it up to you in other ways though, he doesn’t want you to be unhappy
★ he tries to hide your relationship from the guards, but since you can’t leave he eventually just lets it be. there isn’t much to do at the facility / where the games are held so the guards are constantly exposed to you trailing after him wherever he goes, curious as ever - you often ask him random questions and he regularly indulges in you to keep you satiated. i can just picture you trampling around the halls doing whatever you want in the most fabulous outfit that he gifted you - obviously breaking the rules - and the guards just give eachother a look, kinda saying “damn, if we did that boss would fire - a bullet at - us.”
★ sex with him is relatively the same. but with a younger partner, i believe things like thigh riding and a daddy kink will appear sometime after you get intimate together
the end! I hope you enjoyed <3!
© cheetabites. don’t translate, claim or repost my works on any platform. jan 4 2025.
#★; ayuri’s sg headcannons#squid game#squid game 2#squid game season 2#park gyeong seok#gyeong seok#park gyeong seok x reader#gyeong seok x reader#gyeong seok player 246#player 246 squid game#kang dae ho player 388#kang dae ho#player 388 squid game#kang dae ho x reader#hwang in ho#player 001#hwang in ho x reader#player 001 x reader#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game fanfiction#squid game fanfic#squid game imagine#squid game headcanons
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part one - part two - part three (you're here!) - part four - part five- six
simon can't believe how far hes fallen.
Lurking outside high street underwear shops, stealing your phone, worst of all? He’s sipping tea in an overpriced coffee shop, you used to always want to meet him in the place opposite but he didn’t fancy a public indecency charge so he’d let you sit there for while, order drinks for the two of you and wait, when his tea turned told and yours had been drank you usually got a text saying to come over, he didn’t feel like going into town.
Your not even with him explaining that matcha is actually really good and he should try it, no your fawning over johnny and he’s watching his bird. He hopes this is rock bottom but he feels like it’s not.
"lass if I dinnae know better, I'd think ya' was avoiding me" his playful tone doesnt hide the hurt, he wants you to feel bad for ghosting him, and you do. Johnnys never been mean. Never mistreated you, why are you punishing him for Simon’s mistakes?
"im sorry, I know you and simon are close but he really did number on me and I just, I just don't wanna risk bumping into him." he can praticularly smell the the anxiety coming off you.
"Aye he’s been going mad, wants his wee bird back." Johnny says feigning sadness for his mate. in honestly Johnny was enjoying it, you were talking to him, looking at him, while simon gawked at you two from across the road.
you laugh, "no he wants a warm hole." you blurt out, causing Johnny to laugh, he expecting you to cry or something but not be that blunt.
“Lass hes just nae used to-” johnny tries to defend him but you cut him off, frustrated, you were what? a decade younger and knew how to treat people well.
“Used to what? He’s 40.” You snap back, Simon was old enough to know better.
“He’s nae 40 yet hen, and he’s not used to tiptoeing, ya know?” He laughs at you adding years to him, he’s sure Simon is seething but he can’t quite make out his expression
“Tiptoeing?” You question. You can accuse Simon of a lot of stuff but tiptoeing? Not fucking one of them, if stomping on people was an Olympic sport he’d be bringing home a gold medal.
“Yeah like your so sensitive lass and he’s nae really used to it.” Johnny says simply and when your face drops he knows his choice of words could maybe use some work especially when you excuse yourself to the bathroom.
Johnny cant help himself. he can see simon through the window, sipping on his tea as he watches this little pre date. So he calls him up, simon was saying earlier he misses that pretty voice well he actually complained about how much you used to talk at him and how the peace and quiet was actually nice.
However Johnnys an expert in simonisms and that means he miss you and wants you to come back to him, he gets the same treatment, they all do. telling him to be quiet.
when you rejoin the table his phone is face or screen down, speaker pointing towards you, next to a another drink for you.
How sweet of him:)
"had to keep ya here somehow," he explained as he asked how you were doing, you had left the flat so defeated. He hated to see a pretty girl so sad.
his eyes seemingly look pass you though, getting lost out the window. Usually he was attentive maybe he didn’t want to slag off Simon, but he keeps pushing, asking how you’re feeling, what you’ve been doing and though his eyes drift back to the window but you can ignore it, for now.
"I don't know,“ you stare into the drink you stir it, the ice clinking against the glass. “It just hurt and I feel so stupid.” It’s practically a whisper, you look like a kicked puppy and Johnny, Johnny’s staring out the window with a smirk on his face. Does he find it funny? Is he gonna tell Simon? Why would you slag off Simon to his best mate?
Anxiety starts to bubble, and you just wanna leave before you embarrass yourself anymore.
Your gaze follows his out the window, now you don’t have binoculars but that looks a little like Simon, weird. It would look too weird if you were to pull out your phone and zoom in with the camera. You start to feel for your phone but it’s not in your pocket, you must’ve slipped it into one of the bags.
“Johnny do you have the time?” You ask softly and before he can react, you’re flipping over his phone and greeted by Simon’s caller ID. What the fuck?
“Johnny what the fuck? “
“Lass-“ johnny doesn’t have time to concoct a lie, your up and glaring down at him, he’d never seen you angry but it was hot, he just wished it was in different, more come backable circumstances.
“No johnny what the fuck, has Simon been on the phone this entire time?” Your voice cracks and your lips tremble, embarrassed you opened up to him, Simon’s best fucking mate, embarrassed Simon knew how much he hurt
“No I don’t give a shit Simon can go fuck himself and so can you” you cut him off again, he can choke on whatever he was gonna say.
Before johnny can ask for his coffee in a to go cup you’re out the door, rushing home, tears stinging at your eyes once again. You just want to sprint home once you hear johnny belt out your name and you speed up, darting down an alleyway.
You wipe your tears before colliding into a wall you swore wasn’t there on the walk into town, a fleshy, human wall.
Its Simon.
Once again! How perfect .
taglist: @skeletonsucker @supernova2205 @wh0re4-alexademi @grr457 @gh0st-spid3r @sweetlittleblackrose @aceywaycy @mooievis @theadultoedge @cheese-pull @imtherain
#yandere cod mw#call of duty#yandere cod#call of duty x reader#yandere#yandere ghost#simon ghost x you#simon riley#yandere simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#cod x reader#yandere johnny mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish#yandere soap#cod soap#cod ghost#soap x reader#soapghost#simon ghost x reader#x reader#fem reader#yandere x reader
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⠀⠀( ⠀⠀치클 ⠀⠀) ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ GRWM ⠀.⠀.⠀.⠀⠀💭 ! ⠀⠀ enha
⠀⠀ s : GRWM to break up with my boyfriend oops ! ᆼᆽᆼ enha ! bf x f ! r .. tiktok 𝓈eries ⠀⠀⠀ㅜㅜ warning : kissing + FLUFF wc 1.2k ꒰ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ꒱ seiu : tt update after 300 yr
— HEESEUNG LEE
you sat on the bed with a phone sat up, recording you with heeseung in the background not paying attention, lost in his phone “get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend” heeseung’s eyebrows furrowed as he turned towards you, your back faced him, “what are you talking about?” he questioned “not now babe i’m trying to film a tiktok”
“no i can see that but would mind explaining yourself real quick yn” he scooted closer to you, grabbing your shoulders to make you face him “it’s a get ready with me video hee” you said rolling your eyes “yeah i know that but what do you mean ‘to break up with my boyfriend’?” he said, you try not to laugh but it’s impossible seeing how serious heeseung is “god you are so cute” you said as you cupped his face and gave him a quick peck “i was just joking”
“it better be joke, we aren’t ending ever”
— JONGSEING PARK
“what are you doing?” jay asked as you set up the camera “just a tiktok” he hummed going back to his song writing “hi guys ! get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend” you peered over jay from the camera, he didn’t even move an inch, still busy with his notepad writing, “so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 years now and honestly he is the best you could ask but i just don’t feel like it anymore so i decided to break up with him” you did your skin care as you blabbed nonsense but jay still remained stoic.
you switched off the phone as you stomped your way towards him, he looked up with a smirk “what’s wrong darling? are you done with the tiktok?” this cheeky bastard “you…” you are pouting trying to find the correct words but instead of you getting a reaction out of him he has you all bothered “me?”
“meanie” you said walking away only to be pulled by him, you landed on his lap, he hugged you tightly “we are not breaking up ever so these pranks won’t work on me, why don’t you find another one hmm?” he said pressing you against his chest
“you and me have to grow old together”
— JAEYUN SIM
“get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend” jake looked “what?” he questioned hoping he heard wrong “jake not now im filming a tiktok”
“i’m pregnant” you whipped your head towards him in disbelief “that’s not how it works jake” you said doing your mascara while he fiddled with your jacket trying to think of some excuse “yn stop i will cry” you giggled at him, cupping his face and pulling him for a long peck “say you are joking” his face still being squeezed by your hands “it’s a prank jake sorry baby” your his nose while he glared at you “not funny, im afraid you have no humor, the police going to get you”
“i accept cuddles and kisses to forgive you for what you did”
— SUNGHOON PARK
“you’re recording?” sunghoon said as he flopped behind you on the bed watching some video on his phone “yeah” you said setting up the stuff “okay, i will turn off the volume” he said getting up to kiss your cheeks before you hit record
“hi guys, i know it’s been so long since i posted anything but get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend” sunghoon paused the video as he got up sitting next to you, his eyes scanning your face as you “babe do you need some-”
“unless you have other boyfriends you are breaking up, but you obviously don’t thus stop lying to them and start recording again” he said, he deleting the recording “you can’t do that” you said as sunghoon laid back down on the bed again “i can do anything” he said pulling you down with him, he kissed you holding your waist down while your hands travelled down his biceps “wouldn’t be able to kiss me if you break up yn” he said smirking, kissing your cheeks all the way down to your collar bone.
“you’re mine forever”
— SUNWOO KIM
“get ready with me-” sunoo enters the washroom in confusion “babe tiktok? without me?” sunoo fake pouts “sorry sun, next okay” you pecked his lips “okay but remember we have to leave soon” he said sitting down at the bed leaving the door open “okay ! so get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend” a loud voice came from outside so you went out to check what it was “sunoo are you okay?” you went over to look if he got hurt “yeah i’m fine and you can take your time yn. no rush” hearing your name instead of babe or honey made you gulp.
“i should call the restaurant and let them know we can’t make it too” he said unlocking his phone and you thought its better to say it’s a prank before he starts crying “sunoo it’s a prank babe, im sorry” he turns towards you with a smile “oh good for a second i thought we need to get on” he put his phone up and records himself while you look at him confused “get ready with me to break up with my girlfriend” you hit him as he laughs “stop”
he kissing your forehead “i can never lose you, it will break me, never joke about it”
— JUNGWON YANG
“babe this one?” jungwon asked passing you a face mask “yes thank you” you hit record as he sat on a sofa opposite to you, so he can be out of the frame, admiring his pretty girl “get ready with me ! breaking up with my boyfriend edition” his eyes quickly went from admiring to shocked big boba eyes, he looked like he was frozen “what do you mean?”
“not now won, i’m filming” he didn’t care he sat beside you peering like a cat “if this is a way to engage with audience or just rage bait, i do not care, your not do such a thing please” he said turning off your phone “saying please when i know you are giving an order” he smiled “cuddles please” — “that’s another order with an unnecessary ‘please’ i have face mask on now won” you rolled your eyes, he hugged your waist and made you lay with him.
“i do not care” he said snuggling into your neck
— RIKI NISHIMURA
“get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend-” a loud choking noise “you have other boyfriends because you sure aren’t getting ready to break up with me”
“so you are cool with me having other boyfriends but not breaking up with you” you put on your hair band to get your hair off your face “absolutely not but-” he stumbled with his words trying to find the right thing to say while you hummed and did your skincare, watching him confused “wait how did it get to me having to give an explanation when you are the one in wrong” he huffed
you giggled at his pouty face, twisting from confusion to frustration, you kissed his cheek “i was joking riki” he glared at you trying to prove he is still angry but of course that didn’t last long when you showed up with his favorite food.
“better not pull this again or you will on time out”
#en-log#enhypen headcanons#enhypen scenarios#jake x reader#niki x reader#sunoo x reader#jungwon x reader#jay x reader#heeseung x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo imagines#sunghoon imagines#park jay imagines#sim jake imagine#jungwon imagines#niki imagines#niki scenarios#jungwon scenarios#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#heeseung scenarios#enhypen#sunghoon scenarios#enhypen reactions#enhypen oneshots#sunghoon fluff#yang jungwon#niki fluff
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Posttimeskip/Canon!Bakugo Katsuki NSFW Alphabet
Thanks for 100 follows :-P
(((Black girlfriend reader mentioned a few times, if you are not black or a girl you can obviously ignore it.)))
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
You were his first everything so with that you wanted to teach him just a few things like aftercare. However, Bakugo already had to down to a science. He didn’t like sleeping in sweat and cum so he’d offer you to take a shower while he puts new sheets on the bed and he joins you a little later. He noticed how thirsty you get after so he’d bring a water bottle and some juice/tea, maybe even a sweet snack if you don’t fall asleep too soon. A lot of this stuff was common sense except the cuddle part. It’s not like he didn’t want to hold you after it was just awkward for him. He just had you cross eye’d and crying on his dick now you him to be held and babied? But after some reassurance that you definitely do and you also wanted to make sure if you did good. “Of course you did dumbass you always do.” Is what he could huff out hearing such nonsense.
Post nut clarity Bakugo is softer, more touchier somehow and quiet. He’d much rather hear your yapping and he just responds with “Yeah.” “Of course” “No. dumbass” with a lot of kissing in between of course
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Yeah we all know he loves ass. He does, shamelessly so, smacking it while eating you out, smacking it when your back is faced him, patting it while you lay on his lap . But he loves your lips just as much. They’re like pillows, bouncy, and incredibly soft. It’s like a sweet flavor as well knowing you always have different types of lipgloss to wear.
I don’t think he is very particular of any part of his body, but since dating you, you love to talk about his back and arms, the way you hug him from behind or grab onto his arm walking through a crowd. More importantly how you scratch his back when he’s inside you and claw his shoulders when he keeps overstimulating you. It’s become partial motivation to his workout now.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Bakugo actually practices safe sex 90% of the time. He isn’t prepared to have any children yet and he doesn’t want any scares so he does at least buy the ULTRA thin condoms. However. The day you finally let him w/o a condom for his birthday he almost came faster than usual which actually made him upset LMAOO.
“What the—F-FFUCK!”
“Y-Y’ok—“
“I AM!…just…fuck this feel good.”
So he will cum in you or on your ass, and smack it with his dick because he seems clean but he’s such a dirty bastard at heart.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He doesn’t keep many secrets from you but the few are really only justified. The first one was that when you both were making out for the first time you grinded against his semi hard dick and he let out a soft moan in your mouth. You never pointed it out but it sounded so hot and it almost threw him off because he never made that noise before. After that, for the next few months before you both finally had sex he thought of that feeling alone to get off when masturbating. Not his finest moment but he couldn’t help it.
He likes when you pull his hair but you only did it once and he’ll be damned if he asks you to do it again. Do it again
Another one would be when you and him were just talking and not having sex yet he used to only watch porn where the people looked similar to you. So he’d sometimes type up Asian guy x black girl or some shit. He was actually using it to mentally prepare himself for when he does fuck you and it’s something he isn’t ready to ever tell you because he knows getting sex advice from porn is absolutely terrible.
Speaking of getting prepared he also asked Kiri for some advice on how to eat you out. Bakugo used to watch a lot of oral sex videos and honestly he really was most nervous about that part, he’s aware he wasn’t the best kisser at first and the last thing he wanted to do was bite you or something so he simply asked his best friend that loss his virginity before him the question: “Where is the clit?”
He swore Kiri to secrecy to never speak of that conversation again after that.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
A virgin up until he dated you. Like I said you’re his first everything so teaching him was actually something you were expected to do, however his pride always got the best of him so when you corrected him he’d always get pissy.
“My clit is here—“
“I fucking know that.”
So instead of verbally telling him what to do you you showed him with your body, moaning louder when he hits or licks the right spot, praising him when he uses the right move. He caught onto this quick and by the time it was the 2nd round he was damn near perfect
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
A lot of people say backshots but I personally think Lotus and honorable mention is missionary Hear me out: Bakugo gives vanilla. He just does he doesn’t need all the special positions and areas to fuck he just wants you, him, and a comfortable surface preferably a bed or couch. He doesn’t want to be perceived as some sex freak or anything he is very simple when it comes to sex. Mostly because he’s so shy but won’t admit it.
The Lotus Position is something that actually overwhelms him in the best way possible. Your foreheads touching, your breast pushed up against his as he assist your push to keep grinding and bouncing against him, FUCK does he love the noises you make in his ear when you’re close too, biting him as you cum. He kisses you a lot too to swallow some of your sounds. How your hands creep onto his neck moaning his name. Plus he is squeezing your ass as you both move in sync. He loves it.
Missionary is almost a ties in because he feels he has the most control. Yeah he can be soft but he still loves to be in charge. He likes the intimacy that comes with these positions so best believe it’s a go to.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Unintentionally. He has always been so funny to you, but he likes it believe he is serious during sex. Yet you can’t help but giggle when he makes a comment about blaming you for making him get so close to cumming.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He has a visible happy trail. Doesn’t grow much so he never needs to trim it, he was going to cut it off the day after you had sex with him the first time and you were able to stop him. Bakugo wanted to make his pelvic area smooth for you because he was worried his hair was itchy to you, once you explained it felt good to feel it on your pussy when he fucked you he haven’t touched it since.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Well….he can try. You can tell when he tries but bless his heart he is so damn aggressive on accident. He once tried to give you a massage but his own sweat mixed with the oil cause his hand to slip so much to the point he got mad and pop a small explosion on your lower back.
You still have the small burn mark and laugh at it from time to time. He doesn’t laugh though he regrets it a lot.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He masturbates…often. He has for years and even after graduating high school he only did it every other day or week when he was really tense or couldn’t sleep. But ever since he got with you it stopped.
Because you do it for him.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He’d tell you he doesn’t have any. Which is half true.
He is pretty vanilla, BUT from the last few times you tried something new you noticed he enjoyed a couple things:
Overstimulation is always fun, he used to do it on accident. Now, it’s almost expected to happen after oral or penetrative sex. Something about that second orgasm really puts him in a whole ‘ other cloud 9 he can’t even explain. It’s the rarest times he’s ever selfish with you sexually.
Praise Kink 100000%. It’s so funny to see the frustrated look on his face of focusing to not cum when you’re in his ear telling him how amazing he is and how nobody else could make you feel this way. Gets him hard every time.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He does enjoy the bed, but he has a huge couch in his dorm, he ate you out a few times during a movie and it led to you on top riding him. It felt so cozy falling asleep after that now 90% of the movie nights y’all have in his dorm leads to something not so wholesome.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You.
Your reactions, your twitches, your moans, the way you say his name it all drives him more to keep going and practicing to get better for you. He absolutely loses his MIND the way you cry out for him too.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He will not ever do anything like humiliation or too much violence like slapping your face. He knows he can be abrasive as it is on accident and even the thought of going to far and harming you would possibly cause him to take a pause on sex no matter how much he loves it
I am 50/50 on somno. I believe he wants you alert to what he’s doing to you for his own peace of mind. But he wouldn’t be opposed to him waking up to YOU touching him.
He’s not a big fan of “daddy”, he won’t stop what he’s doing but he’d rather hear his name or “baby” or even a nickname you made out of his name.
You will not peg him. He is very sensitive about his ass.
No threesomes or anybody watching. Call him selfish, but your body is his in his mind so he’d prefer if nobody sees what you have only blessed him with.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
LOVES giving. Way more than he will admit, there has been days where he’d finish sparring with someone and to release the stress he had from Deku almost beating his ass again he came to your dorm and offered to lay between your thighs as you studied.
You didn’t get much studying done.
He’s improved on his skill too. However he’s constantly messy, it’s not just kitten licks with this man he sucks and fingers and even nibbles on you like he’ll never eat you again. It’s almost selfish.
He loves the feel of your pussy against his tongue, he doesn’t taste much. If you were to ask him what you taste like he would say nothing, really but the warm, slimy slick just does something to him. If he could he’d eat you for hours
Now that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love seeing you gag and swallow his dick absolutely not. When you both started getting more physical you actually sucked his dick quite often (since he was afraid to eat you out at the time) he would actually anticipate on it whenever you both were alone so he’d keep his sweats incredibly low to his waist on purpose
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Bakugo an intense guy so he starts off slow and his touches gradually turn more focused towards your reactions. He’s consistently looking into your eyes with every noise you make, each thrust is deep and nearly knocks the wind out of you. It’s not until he’s close he begins to chase that high, breathing into your mouth, circling your clit w his fingers, and going faster with slightly shallow thrusts.
He’s a big kisser btw so be prepared for little to no air because if he’s not kissing your low lips he’s kissing your upper lips with each thrust swallowing your cries
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Hates em.
The idea is always fun to him but when he realizes he has to stop right when he’s getting started he hates it. He wants to take his time. He probably enjoys foreplay the most which is why he can’t stand having to make it short.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Bakugo is pretty stubborn and doesn’t like too much change but if you’re willing to reassure him about what you want he may consider. It can’t be any of the no though.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Man can last a while. He can even if he’s sensitive, but he can last EVEN LONGER in between breaks. Just as long as you cock warm him. An average night of sex with him is usually 30-35 minutes, but including foreplay is actually an all day thing. Foreplay can start from the moment you wake up and he’s kissing you good morning all the way to that evening when you both are showering together and his fingers are creeping between your thighs
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Doesn’t understand toys but if you’re willing pick like a vibrator he wouldn’t mind it. You just can’t use it too much, he has read those things can fuck up your sensitivity and he’ll be DAMNED if he loses to a TOY
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Bakugo actually wasn’t that much of a teaser until you brought it out of him. When he went down on your once he kept kissing and biting your thighs for WAY too long that you began to whine his name. Once he heard that pretty little “please” slip through your tongue something just snapped. He loves to hear you beg now so occasionally he’ll edge you or tease you a bit before giving you what you want.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s not that loud. A few mumbles of your name and a couple groans is the most you’ll get because he wants to hear you more. When he’s close he’ll begin to say a few “cum with me” “cum for me’s” which is so hot to hear since his voice breaks when he’s cumming
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He learned sign language through out the years after finding out his hearing was becoming worse and he taught you as well. Now you both communicate in public through SL, and a few times he said the nastiest shit to you across the room during a lecture.
Bonus: He’s a big Pokémon nerd. Loves Gengar, Charizard, and Growlithe.
Bonus two: He has a secret tattoo he got when he turned 21
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Bakugo is a more length than girth guy. He’s a shower and cut. About 7.8ish inches and it curves to the left. He also had a beauty mark on the left side of his shaft and pelvic area.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Y’all have sex about 4-5 times a week. If yall miss a week spike it up to 6 because he needs to release some stress
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
You fall asleep before him so after taking care of you and cleaning you up he usually waits until you’re sleep and follows suit. Sometimes when you’re still yapping and he’s ready to go to bed he’ll gently fan your eyelids to close with his fingers. Somehow it works everytime and you slowly stop talking a dm cuddle in his chest.
#mha#bakugo katuski#bakugo smut#bakugo x black reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x you#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha bakugou#mha smut#mha x black female reader#mha x black reader#mha x reader#virgin bakugo#bakugo#mha x black fem#mha x y/n#mha x you#mha headcanons#mha spoilers#bakugo headcanons#bakugo x black female#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x female reader
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━━ ❝ i'll give you the fire i keep inside ❞


up to the challenge : ⌞no nut november⌝ edition [ pt 2 - pt 3 - pt 4 ]
☾₊‧⁺...ft. : gojo satoru + geto suguru
☾₊‧⁺...cw : pussy eating, praise kink, begging, premature ejaculation, clothed sex, whiny reader (gojo), smug reader (geto), satoru overestimating himself, suguru 'just the tip' geto
☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : it's nowhere near november, but i need to write this. it's based off an old post of mine from 4 years ago! so, i have no excuse 🖤

✧ g. satoru lasts : 2 days
oh, satoru is so confident that he'll easily make it through the entirety of november. the moment he coos to you about how excited he is to participate in 'no nut november' as a challenge against suguru, he's walking around with his chest puffed out. however, he doesn't take into account that you'd be a little upset after he tells you, thinking you have to go a whole month without sex with your boyfriend. but everyone knows satoru is the best boyfriend, right? he'd neeeever let his pretty lil' mochi feel unsatisfied. so, on the second day of November, he's got you up on the kitchen counter, mouth buried between your thighs as he practically devours your cunt, messily licking and sucking at your clit as his eyes roll back just from the taste of you. after all, there's no way he'd lose this way!
it had only been two days since satoru had fucked you, how were you this wet and needy? you were dripping down his chin, soaking his fucking face, and god, he was in heaven. "c'mon, baby, grind that clit into my mouth," he fucking whines, kissing your pussy between slurps, hands holding you spread open for him to keep testing you. satoru's so hard, it hurts, his cock rubbing and twitching against the rough fabric of his sweatpants, but he couldn't touch, he wouldn't let himself. he'd be fine, all he needed was to make sure he made his baby cum. "hhf, 't-toru, 'toruuuu, i-i miss you, i miss youuu," you pitifully whine, pretty eyes filling with tears as you grew closer and closer to cumming all over his face. but just hearing you say that you miss him when it hasn't even been a fucking week almost makes satoru cum, almost. "baby, babyyy, don't say that shit," satoru whimpers, about to pull away from your dripping slit, dizzy from your words. but you don't let him, no, not when you're this close. with the cutest little huff, you look him right in his pretty blue eyes and grab a fistful of his hair, smashing his mouth right back against your cunt as you cry his name. and oh, the noise he lets out against your pussy feels so gooddd, feeling his tongue desperately licking up your cum. god, you were practically suffocating him. all that Satoru could process was you, you, you. jesus, he didn't think he'd be able to leave you alone the rest of the month, not when just going two days got you this desperate...he really was fucking you that good that you got addicted, huh? it's okay because honestly? he missed your pussy so fucking much. "'toru, satoruuu, p-please, i-i don't like this challenge anymore, miss when you stuff me w-with your cum," you whine as you ride out the last waves of your orgasm, giving him one last tug into your pussy so his mouth was right over your clit. have you always been this fucking whiny and demanding? god, satoru couldn't remember. but, you didn't realize how seriously all the tugging and those filthy, desperate words of yours would affect him. hell, he didn't know how badly it would affect him. once he separates himself from you, he's avoiding eye contact, and he's getting red. embarrassed. flustered. all it took was a quick glance down to see what the issue was. "b-baby, you...i just...how—" "'toru, did you cum in your pants?"
✧ g. suguru lasts : 2.5 weeks
the only reason suguru decided to participate in this was because satoru roped him into it. not that he didn't think he could do it, but because he knew satoru was going to lose against him. he's so thankful that you're nothing but supportive, eager for him to win this challenge with the promise of a reward of his choosing once he made it to December 1st. it's honestly not that hard. as long as he's able to still be affectionate with you, suguru is content. sure, sometimes he has to stop his imagination, but otherwise, he's fine. at least, that's until he comes home to you wearing the cutest purple thigh highs with little skulls on them. it starts off with suguru pulling you closer, making you stand between his legs as his hands rub up and down your plush thighs...but next thing you know, your legs are over his shoulders as he drags his cock up and down your slit.
"just—just the tip, okay? i can't put anymore in, princess." "suguruuuuu, just! put it in! stop teasing!" those pretty legs of yours would always be his downfall, suguru could never resist them. there wasn't anything even sexual about it, but just seeing how they squeezed your thighs so perfectly...he couldn't help himself. but if he only let himself put the tip of his dick inside that tight little hole of yours, he'd be fine...yeah, he just needed a small feel, and he'd be fine. without any more hesitation, suguru slowly sunk into your puffy pussy, letting out a shaky groan as his head fell down onto your shoulder. shit, shit, shit, it was only the tip, but you felt so good, too fucking good. "g-god, why's this cunt so wet and warm, baby? it's not fair," suguru hissed, lifting his head to look down to where you both were connected. "s'not my fault you wanted to do this dumb challenge," you hummed, a little smug smile on your face. "stop listenin' to satoru, you'll get stupid like him." it made him laugh, you were so amused by him barely holding himself together...and he couldn't blame you, he wasn't the type to break so easily... "s-suguruuu, wait, you said just the tip, that's—suguuuu!" suguru let out the most scandalized gasp when he realized his entire cock was being hugged by your soft, hot walls. it was so cute, though, how you tried to help him, to let him know so he didn't lose. such a sweetheart, weren't you? but, suguru was too far gone. he had slowly begun inching himself inside of you, not even realizing it until it was too late. not being able to stop his hips from moving, thrusting in and out of you, creating a little ring of cream around the base of his cock as his dick dragged against those soft spots inside you that made you keen his name. "oh, princess, angel, you're so sweet, you know that? s-shit, listen to that pussy...she missed this? she missed the feeling of her sugu inside? hm? fuuuck, fuck it, 'm-'m gonna give you what you need, baby, d-don't worry," he says in a needy rasp, pressing his forehead against yours, giving you a delirious little grin. yeah, suguru knew he was going to lose today...he'd be damned if he didn't cum all over this sweet cunt. all because of some stupidly cute socks.

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
#gojo satoru smut#gojo smut#geto suguru smut#geto smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru x you#suguru smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#˗ˏˋ ★ lxnarworks .ᐟ
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do you believe me now? | 9
in which we find out how the morning after went for fem!reader. you finally share with spencer after unanticipated anxieties come up. you're continually shocked by his affection for you.
series masterlist
this series is 18+ (angst, fluff) warnings/tags: (preface none of the bad stuff is done by spencer) sexual harassment, slut shaming, non consensual voyeurism of sorts, blood + pain from losing virginity, talk of rape (nothing like that actually happens), implied nonspecific age gap (someone says he looks slightly older than you) non sexual nudity, showering together, intimacy, ewww being in love is embarrassing a/n: I honestly was not gonna post this today but I decided to bc it's just Tumblr its not that deep also you can probably tell I am just creating problems bc I don't wanna let go of them...... ik this is supposed to be a smutty series btw and trust good things come to those who wait!!!but anyways idk what I'm doing and I kinda hate this!! lolol!!!
Friday morning
The air is thick when you wake up—the angle of the sun through the window is lower than usual, and the binding weight of your limbs as you struggle to stretch in place all suggest that you’ve slept in.
But you don’t check the time quite yet—for a moment, you simply lie there, studying the pattern on your ceiling, downloading the events of the previous night.
Flashes of skin on skin, lips, breaths, whispers, promises. Phantom sensations.
Was it even real?
Your apartment is deafeningly silent, you realize. And you have that sinking sense, which you can’t quite explain but know to be true—that you are alone. Spencer is gone. You can’t feel him like you’d be able to if he were simply on the couch or in the kitchen. He’s definitely not in bed with you, and the sheets have long gone cold.
The truth of it renders about as slowly as your sluggish consciousness does, and you frown, not quite sure what to do with that information. Should you be angry? Should you cry?
Mostly you’re confused.
As soon as you sit up, sore thighs and abs and a strange ache between your legs confirm that last night was not a dream nor a figment of your imagination. You’ll figure out what to do about your twinging body in a moment—for now you rub your eyes and blindly reach for the bedside table, knocking several things to the ground in your quest for your phone.
It’s not there, you realize, once you actually try to use your eyes. It’s not in bed with you either as you pat the sheets, and it doesn’t materialize as you sit on your knees and shake out the comforter.
From this venture, however, you learn two things. First, Spencer must’ve taken it upon himself to get you dressed last night, which you have no recollection of, but you doubt you sleepwalked your way into underwear and a big t-shirt; and second—you bled.
It wasn’t something you were thinking about in the moment, but now, faced with all the evidence and none of the pleasure of last night’s activities, it’s jarring. A stark, unforgiving archipelago of red on a pristine sea of white.
People say, at its best, sex brings couples closer. Spencer once told you it could facilitate feelings of deeper connection. But here you are, no longer a virgin, and what do you have to show for it? A stronger bond with your boyfriend? He’s not even here.
All you have is this glaring red stain marring perfectly good sheets. It mocks you, like something you’ve dropped and can’t pick back up. You can’t think looking at it, and you need to think, and so in a fit of frustration you’re pulling the comforter onto the floor, leaning over your mattress and yanking the fitted sheet free. You ball it up in your hands, breathing heavily—and realize you bled through to the mattress.
Wonderful.
Spencer’s just at work, you tell yourself, grabbing the first pair of shorts you see and pulling them on before gathering the ruined sheet once more and stomping on aching legs through your apartment to the hallway, not even bothering with shoes. He can’t just play hooky because his clingy girlfriend lost her virginity and needs to be comforted like some previously celibate high school cheerleader.
But you miss him so much it’s making you angry, so much your eyes are stinging and welling with tears of frustration as you shove your bed linens down the trash chute at the end of your floor’s hallway. You’re supposed to be independent. That’s how you’ve always been. Since when does it bother you to wake up alone? It’s just sex. It’s not as big a deal for him as it is for you. Or for anyone. You’re the one overreacting, you’re the one who expects too much. He works for the FBI, for god’s sake. There are people dying, and here you are—
“What’chya got there?”
The gruff voice makes you jump, and you turn around just as the bundle is disappearing down into the hole in the wall. It’s your neighbor, Jerry—the one in the unit right next to you. You’re not happy to see him, especially like this. He’s got a blue 5 o’clock shadow despite the hour, and is clad in ill-fitting gray sweats and a pair of ratty slippers. His distended belly strains at the confines of an oil-stained white shirt, tied with a dingy checkered robe. You barely meet his drooping eyes before looking longingly back at your cracked door down the hall.
“Just… garbage.” You shift your weight, hiding a wince as you try to find a comfortable position to stand in. Jerry notices this, and you wish his eyes wouldn’t linger on your bare legs like that.
“Huh. Looks like someone had a late night.”
“Sorry?”
“It’s just noon and you’re still in your PJ’s.”
Disgusting. And who the fuck is he to judge? At least your pajamas are clean.
You shrug. “Yeah.”
He scratches his bald head.
“So that boy tired you out pretty good, huh?”
Your stomach drops. Your brain freezes.
When you don’t reply, he takes the liberty of continuing on.
“Saw him sneaking out of your apartment in the middle of the night. He looked a little older ’n you. You like ’em older?” His laugh is a cruel bark. “Yeah… He’s a lucky man. You know, it’s natural for a man to like a younger girl. Fresh meat, ’n all.” You try to speak and can only swallow a gag. Jerry adjusts his stance, hands in pockets like he’s telling you a local news story. “Heard some of it. Sounded like you were putting on quite the show. And sure, a young pretty thing like you? Hell, I would if I could. But I’ll tell you right now, you don’t wanna end up like my daughter. She wasn’t as pretty as you, but still—three kids with three men by the time she was 24. She should'a kept her damn legs closed. You know, she loved to cry rape, but you gotta ask yourself, if your legs are open all the damn time, what do you expect? Back in the day we all knew girls like that—” he bats the air dismissively. “Guess you can’t call ’em sluts anymore—they get what they’re asking for one way or another. See, I think everyone still knows it and they’re just too afraid to say it. So my advice: don’t let yourself get used up, you hear me? Not by men who are gonna ride you hard and put you away wet. So to speak. Men can smell a girl like that from a mile away, and they’ll take it as an open invitation. It’s just human nature.”
When he finally stops talking, the hallway fills with a vacuous silence. It makes your ears ring. Several moments pass, but you’re frozen. Your whole body feels intolerably hot but your blood is freezing. How are you supposed to react?
“Hello?” He says, voice loud enough to hurt your ears as it echoes.
Get out of here, your more rational self says to the rest of you, and you mumble something, you don’t even know what, excusing yourself to hurry on stiff legs back down the hall to your door.
Once inside, you do up every lock on your door, and face your apartment, shoulders tensed practically to your ears and fists clenched so tight your arms are trembling. On autopilot you look around for something to do, but there’s nothing. More importantly, nobody.
I’ll call Spencer. He’ll know what to do.
No, you won’t, your higher self reminds you. You lost your phone. And besides, it’s clearly not like he wanted to stick around last night. Maybe he doesn’t even like you anymore.
So you’re stuck here. Stranded. Sharks can smell blood.
Processing that information, you walk back to your bedroom and close the door behind you—before promptly sinking to the ground and burying your face in the duvet with a deep, silent sob.
That goes on for a few minutes until you realize you’re too achy and you can’t breathe and you’re forced onto your side, curling up in your blanket on the floor like it’s a nest and not a burial plot.
You shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. A relationship can’t implode twice in 24 hours. You don’t have your phone. Maybe he’s texted you.
But is that really all you’re worth? A text sent after the fact? He couldn’t sacrifice a few hours to sleep by your side? Couldn’t even wake you up to say goodbye? You think about the sweet things he’d said afterward—the way he held you, fingers dancing down your spine. Promises he made when you were half asleep in his arms, so sure he’d be there when you woke up.
Even fucking Jerry the neighbor—who you think might have just sexually harassed you in the hallway—said Spencer should’ve stuck around.
Fuck.
No, don’t think about that. It doesn’t even matter. They were just words.
Heard some of it. Sounded like you put on quite the show.
Your skin crawls and your stomach turns as you hold yourself tighter. Something that was supposed to be private and special—and some random man not only had a front row seat to your deflowering but felt comfortable talking about it with you. It feels like a violation. Like he crashed a really important party. If you had known you had an audience last night, you never would’ve done it.
The way he looked at you, tracing your legs with his eyes like he was touching you—
You scramble up from the floor and walk heavily on your knees to the dresser, digging up a pair of pajama pants and a hoodie. You should be showering, but you don’t want to deal with your body right now. You just want to hide.
Friday evening—present
After your conversation, Spencer seems eager to make sure the car ride to his apartment is not reminiscent of the car ride to yours last night—he holds your hand, resting in your lap, bringing your knuckles to his lips at a red light. Every few moments he glances over at you, maybe to appreciate the view (though you doubt it’s especially scenic at the moment) or perhaps to gauge your mood. The further away you get from your apartment building the better you feel, and you try to focus on that. Sure—maybe you had a shit day, but Spencer’s here now, and he didn’t leave you after all. In fact, since finding your phone, you’ve seen the series of very sweet and highly concerned messages he sent over the course of a few hours. They almost make your stomach hurt. It would’ve been really nice to have those earlier.
He doesn’t ask you any more of the hard questions, but you sense an inquisition in the works and getting closer with every curious glance he gives you. It’s like he’s unwrapping you, layer by layer, using his impressive cognitive faculties to drill through your skull into your brain and deeper still into your soul.
Back in his apartment you sit awkwardly on the bed. Last time you’d been here, things hadn’t gone so well for you.
The shower starts in the adjoined bathroom, and Spencer comes out a moment later, warm light seeping into the darkened bedroom. Purple and dark blue mixing with yellow, like a bruise.
“Hey. Water’s warm.”
You hum, smoothing the material of his neatly made bed with your palm and watching the way it flattens. That had been your doing. You may have thought he was on the verge of breaking up with you last time you slept here, but you didn’t want to leave his home a mess. Didn’t want to leave any evidence of your having been here.
A moment passes. You thumb at a thread and don’t look up.
Spencer crosses the space without a word and crouches in front of you, hands coming up to cup the back of your legs, running knee to ankle and up again.
“Can you tell me what’s going on? Please?” He asks softly. His voice wrings your heart out. Now that you’re in a completely different space, and you’re not so alone anymore, you’re struggling to sort out your feelings. It should be fine. You’re with Spencer. Presumably he still loves you.
And you still feel terrible.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you whisper.
“I know,” he says, just as quietly.
Spencer doesn’t say anything else. I know you don’t want to—and yet. Your lips twist to the side. He’s persistent. Even in his kindness. It’s not the kind of care that falters or buckles when you try turning it away.
“My neighbor said he c—”
You’re forced to stop, frowning by how overcome you are. It shouldn’t be such a big deal. Worse things have happened to you.
“He said he could hear us. Last night.”
Spencer’s hands stop on your legs. You can’t meet his eyes. You’re afraid whatever you find there won’t be the right thing.
“He’s in the unit next to you?”
You nod. “We share a wall.”
There’s a moment’s hesitation and your stomach sinks. He doesn’t understand.
“What did he say?”
“Just… dumb shit,” you scoff, fiercely wiping away a stray tear. “He said he listened and it sounded like I was putting on quite the show. And then he—and then he told me not to let you… use me up, whatever that means. He called me fresh meat, and said I shouldn’t let you ride me hard and put me away wet, and bad things happen to sluts who can’t keep their legs closed.”
You finish with a sharp inhale, briefly leaning down and covering your face with your hands when you realize how upset you really are. You want to hide it.
A fraught moment passes. Spencer reaches for your hands, no doubt to try and pull them away from your face. You spare him the trouble, sitting up with a cavalier sniff before he can touch you and brushing your hair behind your ears.
His voice is uncomfortably quiet. You can’t look at him. “Baby…”
“Don’t. It’s fine. I only told you because you asked.”
It’s not his fault, but you’re mad at him anyway, and so you avoid eye-contact like it’s the plague. Maybe it’s just safe to be mad at him. Maybe he knows that.
Regardless, you’re not in the mood for coddling. It’s borderline repulsive—like trying to mix oil and water. Anything good slides right off of you because maybe you’re not designed to be able to absorb good things.
Nothing changes for a minute—and then he’s standing, offering you a moment alone as he goes to crank the shower off.
As soon as he’s gone all the air is vacuumed from your lungs and you crumple, heaving it back in silently as your head spins and your heart races. It’s like your mind is split in two—half is primal, overwhelming panic, and the other a cold observatory eye, full of disdain and scorn for what it deems a severe overreaction to a few nasty comments made hours ago. You’re so tangled up as you curl in on yourself on your side that you can’t even cry. You’re just trying to remember how to breathe, ignoring the crawling feeling up your spine and the tingling heat at the back of your neck. The shower stops on the downbeat of your staggered breath, and then it’s silent. He’ll come back at any minute and see what a mess you’ve become.
You’ve ruined everything. If only you could’ve kept it to yourself.
When Spencer reappears in the doorway, and sees you collapsed and curling like paper burnt at the edges, he’s quick to return to you.
“I’m sorry,” you manage, trying and failing to brush away hair from your cheek, which is wet—so you were crying—and Spencer shushes you, pushing it away for you as he kneels.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“I’m being dramatic, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Of course, at the end of that declaration, a sob wrenches its way from the depths of you, so bright and cleaving you half expect the smell of ozone to follow. You follow it with a blisteringly self-deprecating laugh.
“Don’t—don’t do that. Don’t minimize it.”
His hand is warm where it rests over your cheek, affectionate, but he sounds frustrated. You frown and sniffle.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Tell me his name.”
It’s a quiet request, made as gently as his hand cards through the hair at your temple like it’s woven with fragile threads of gold.
“No, Spencer,” you beg, anxiety pooling in your gut and rising in your throat, “please, I don’t want to make it a thing, I don’t want you to talk to him. You’ll just make it worse, it’s fine.”
You look at him imploringly, eyes wide and still welling, hoping to god the gravity of your plead will sink in. His are a bed of coals—somewhere between furious and sympathetic, and you try to appeal to the sympathy.
“It is not fine. Saying sluts get what’s coming to them is not fine, that is a threat, and I’m not going to talk to him. I’m going to have him fucking arrested.”
You scoff.
“For talking to me? Yeah, good luck with that. Cops are really known for being helpful when it comes to sexual harassment.”
“Baby. Men who are comfortable violating your boundaries like that are exponentially more likely to commit an actual violent crime. That is not a safe person for you to be around.”
“He’s not gonna rape me, Spencer! He’s just a gross old man! This is why I didn’t want to tell you, because I knew you’d make it a bigger deal than it is! You did it last night and you’re doing it now—you think everyone is out to get me!”
To his credit, he doesn’t so much as raise his voice.
“Of course it’s a big deal. You’re upset.”
“Yeah, well, it’s my own fault.”
Maybe it’s the wrong thing to say. Spencer goes silent for a moment.
“It’s your fault?”
“Yes. It’s my fault because… because now everyone knows that I’m…”
His voice goes impossibly soft again. “Knows that you’re what?”
“I mean, what did I expect?” You sniffle. “It’s an apartment. If I didn’t want to deal with the consequences, I shouldn’t’ve done it.”
He says your name like it’s a ring he twists around his finger as he tries to think—to gather the right words.
“The consequences for having sex do not involve punishment or sexual harassment.”
“It’s the result of my actions, so—”
“No, it’s the result of your neighbor being disgusting. I don’t care what he heard, he doesn’t get to talk to you like that.”
“He—”
“If you heard something you weren’t supposed to hear would you bring it up to the person the next day?”
“Stop interrupting me,” you plead. Spencer looks like he has something to say to that, too, but he swallows it. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. “I… understand that he shouldn’t have said those things to me. But that doesn’t change the fact that he did, and it was really, really uncomfortable and I don’t wanna—I don’t wanna go back now. Maybe that’s dramatic, but…”
You trail off, studying the ceiling as a fresh wash of tears dampen your cheeks. Spencer’s hand slides down your waist as you wipe your face. “I don’t regret the fact that we slept together. I just regret everything that’s happened since, and if I didn’t do it last night, none of this would’ve happened. I feel like he ruined everything.”
The words end on another cry and you put your hand over your eyes like you could stop it all from coming out. You sniffle. Spencer is quiet for a moment.
“I’m sorry,” he eventually whispers, his own voice threaded with emotion. “I…”
He sighs. You push your hair back and look at him.
“What?”
He studies you, chewing on his lip like a nervous tick you’ve never seen before. You sit up again, feet balanced on the edge of the bed frame. Spencer’s eyes remain stuck on you. Again, you ask, “What?”
“I didn’t think about it until you brought it up earlier, but—I did see someone. Him, I think, when I went out to my car to get my bag. He was smoking when I came out, and when I got back into the lobby he was waiting for the elevator. We took it up together, he—he said something to me, so I know he saw me going back to you. I don’t know why he made it sound like I left.”
You frown. “What did he say?”
Spencer hesitates.
“He asked if I had a long night. He was obviously commenting on the fact that I was basically half-dressed and getting an overnight bag from my car at one in the morning, so he could probably gather from context what was going on, but… my point is, he knew I came back and it seems like he was almost trying to make you think I didn’t. So for whatever reason, maybe he was lying about being able to hear you, too. Maybe he just wanted to make you uncomfortable.”
“That’s a long shot, Spencer.”
“I know, but… it’s not that long. He obviously gets off on it—and besides, he said you were putting on a show, but you weren’t… you weren’t loud, last night.”
Heats blossoms in your cheeks and you look down at your lap. “Thin walls.”
“Have you ever heard your neighbors before?”
You have to seriously think about it.
“I’ve heard them yelling…”
“Nothing else?”
Again, you consider it. The answer comes as a surprise.
“No.”
“Okay, so… does that maybe help a little bit? I really, really don’t want you to feel like last night was a mistake in any way, or let anyone ruin it for you.”
You breathe deeply. “I know. It… it kinda helps, yeah.”
His hands come to the top of your legs. There’s so much genuine care and concern in his eyes. “Yeah?”
Only when you nod does he relax some. His hands skim your thighs, and you set yours on top of his own. For a few breaths, it’s quiet. And then you laugh.
“What?” Spencer asks, a tentative smile curling his own lips like he doesn’t know if he should be concerned or participate in your mirth.
“I—I don’t know how to say it without being cheesy,” you admit, sniffling the last of your tears away and smiling softly down at him.
“I think you should say it.”
You link your fingers with his on your lap, watching the way they twine like it’s what they were meant to do.
“I was just thinking about how I had, like, the worst day ever. And how much worse it would’ve gotten if you didn’t show up when you did—I would’ve completely spiraled. But you did show up. And how easy it is to kind of compartmentalize, because I have you, and when I’m with you… nothing feels as hard. You make the bad things feel smaller, I guess.”
By the end, it got a lot more real than you’d intended, and your face feels warm, and your stomach is sort of floaty—but you don’t look away from Spencer. You hold his gaze, though it makes you a little nervous, because you want him to know you mean it.
He inhales, like he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t—only looks at you, like you’re beautiful and impossible and a defiance of everything he thought he knew, which was almost everything. To him, you’re expansive. A gorgeous anomaly.
And then he stands, holding his hands out for you. Without question you take them, and he pulls you to your feet, absorbing the momentum that threatens to topple you, and he wraps his arms around you tightly. So tight you have to laugh.
“I love you,” he says against your shoulder, one hand coming to cradle the back of your head.
Your humor softens, but doesn’t become inflexible—still tinges your words with the perfect amount of euphoria and relief. “I love you.”
“Thanks,” he mumbles, and your laughter flares again.
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“But I’m grateful. I… I feel lucky.”
Always so earnest, so vulnerable, when you’re least expecting it—which should be always, you’re learning. You pull back to look up at him. You don’t want that concession to go unrewarded.
“Me too,” you say softly. He’s doing that fond thing with his eyes, where they’re all soft and it’s like he’s trying to take in every millimeter of your face. This time when he goes to touch your hair, you have the wherewithal to dodge it.
“You’re really brave for trying to touch my hair right now.”
“Why?” He asks, utterly bewildered, and the softness of the moment falls away easily, but not without leaving everything smudged and fuzzy around the edges. Everything is still okay. It’s still good.
“Because it’s dirty,” you laugh, dodging him again and eventually ducking from the circle of his arms entirely.
“Oh, your hair is dirty? Should we breakup?”
“Hm. I don’t really like when you take on that tone with me.” You’re still half-laughing, dipping and weaving past him toward the bathroom as he tries to get you in his arms again. And then you stop, toes just short of the tile.
“What is it?” He asks after another moment. You blink, looking at the shower head as it drips.
“Um—would it be okay if I had a five minute headstart in the shower?”
“Sure. Is everything okay?”
“It’s fine. I just… I need a minute.”
His hand skims your waist as he passes by you through the open door. “Okay. Why don’t you grab your stuff and I’ll get the water going again?”
Soon enough, you’re remembering how much better his water pressure is than yours as you stand under the torrent, eyes closed as if in prayer. You definitely could’ve stood to shower earlier in the day. But you had other concerns, earlier, and besides—you were afraid of what you might find.
And you were right to be. The sex was nice. The aftermath isn’t quite as pretty.
When Spencer taps on the bathroom door, you’re nervous.
“You can come in,” you call.
“You sure? If you want it all to yourself, that’s okay too.”
“No, no. It’s fine.”
The door creaks open, and gently clicks into place again, and fabric rustles as he undresses, and soon the shower curtain is sliding aside and he’s stepping in. Unsurprisingly, the space feels smaller with him in it—but not small in a bad way. It feels warmer. Again you’re awash in that safe feeling, which you didn’t realize you’d been missing so much today.
“Hi,” he smiles, a teasing sliver of what you know to be the most brilliant light in the world, and stunning like the rest of him as you watch the water begin to darken his hair.
“Hello.”
His smile flickers briefly wider like you’re his favorite thing and he just can’t contain his joy, and then it’s easing again, giving you a moment to catch your breath.
“Is it okay if I touch you?”
In this alien context the idea has your heart pounding—you don’t really understand the concept of casual nudity yet, but you know he’ll respect your earlier wishes to keep it chaste and so you nod.
Spencer doesn’t take you immediately in his arms like you’d expected—instead his hands find a rest at your collarbones and carefully push your wet hair back over your shoulders—but his eyes aren’t cast quite low enough to be indecent. They connect dots over your chest and neck, and he thumbs at one just over your pulse point.
“Oh, man,” he laughs, and you think you detect a hint of self-deprecation. “That’s… wow, I didn’t realize I… sorry. They don’t hurt, do they?”
It’s your turn to smile as he’s suddenly over-concerned.
“No, they don’t hurt.”
“Good.” He looks relieved, but it doesn’t last as his eyes trace lower—though you don’t sense any hunger in it. He’s just taking you in. “How about everywhere else?”
“Um… it’s not bad. Kind of, like… I don’t know. Sore. But it’s not bad.”
“Still?” He frowns, clearly unfazed by your evident embarrassment on the subject. You shrug and avert your eyes.
“It’s fine. it was worse earlier, so.”
That does not have the calming effect you’d intended.
“Worse? 1-10, how—”
“Spencer, it’s fine, I promise. It’s only when I—when I move certain ways, I notice. Honestly the… blood… was way more disconcerting to me.”
“Yeah, I saw your bed… sorry for ruining your sheets. I’ll buy you new ones.”
You shrug, watching the water run in rivulets down your arm and branch off into tributaries and waterfalls from your fingers. “You don’t have to do that. It was a collaborative effort.”
Normally this conversation would have you melting into an embarrassed puddle, but something about the tile cocoon of the shower, the humid fog, the proximity, feels safe. The white noise of water on porcelain, the warmth. You go to him at the same time as he comes to you—his arms around your waist, yours slung over his shoulders. Your eyes flutter shut. Falling asleep standing up has never seemed so plausible until now.
He presses a kiss to your head. You sigh.
“Ugh. I don’t want to deal with washing my hair.”
“I can do it,” Spencer immediately offers. You frown.
“I was—you don’t have to. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was asking.”
“I know you didn’t.”
“It’s a process.”
“I understand.”
“You would have to do it exactly how I say.”
“I am willing to learn. I like taking care of you.”
You’re glad for the hot water, then, and as he washes your hair. You’re not sure if you’re crying at the tenderness of his touch, or the way he loves you like you’re easy to love. You’re too tired to explain it.
He doesn’t push you, because he never pushes you.
He just washes your hair.
-
part ten
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic
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can you requested of all 20 mark Grayson on how differently it is to having sex with them in different situations since I'm wonder how you imagined that they prefer in bed or public lol
Alternate Mark headcanons
There is just way too many of them, so i can't go into detail about all of them and what they would all be like. So instead, here is a few things they would be into, both as a group and individually.
Keep in mind that some will be similar, and honestly, they're probably all into the same stuff for the most part, just to different degrees.
What every Mark is into
Oral fixation
Praise Kink
Heart beat kink, I have no idea if this even has a name.
Cock warming (on you)
Breeding (on him)
Cumplay
Collaring (some actual collars, shock collars, necklaces, chokers, etc)
Petplay/ownership (to different degrees)
Now on to each Mark
Sinister Mark
Cannibalism, obviously.
Strength kink, could be you being stronger, or using something to weaken him.
Gore, blood, etc.
Milking (on him)
High-top Mark
Nipple torture
Blindfolding
Flexibility (like, you putting him in a mating press or in a split, etc etc)
Gloves and boots, worship of your gloves and boots
Prisoner Mark
Loves you being loud, be it moaning, grunting or dirty talk, can't stand the silence.
Massages. Doesn't even have to be steamy, he just loves feeling your hands on him.
Hands and anything involving your hands.
Likes taking it slow but very deep, really just wants to feel it.
20/20 Mark
Spit and drool, please spit in his mouth
Very intense eye contact
Orgasm control
Scratching and mark him up when you guys bang
Flaxan Mark
Voice kink, please speak to him
Sentai and hero suits, especially you wearing it
Boot worship
Your feet and legs in general
Mohawk Mark
Is extremely loud and cocky, but is also the worst crier during time together.
Loves to be forced into submission in one way or another.
Piercings and other body modifications. Would pass out if you pierced or tattooed him.
What do you call the kink where they like to watch. Like, not you with other Marks, but he loves watching you shower or go about your day. Could jerk off to you doing the dishes if he had to.
Just... cumming on things in general. Check your protein drink before sipping it...
Long haired Mark
Hairpulling, obviously.
Gets embarrassingly turned on by you washing or styling his hair for him.
Flexibility, is the most flexible out of all of them.
Spit and drool
Bug eye Mark
Doing it outside, especially in nature or the backyard.
Oviposition
Way too into tentacles, embarrassed about it
Hands, anything to do with your hands.
Half mask Mark
Watersports, on him, in him, please in his mouth. Thats why the mask only covers half his face.
Choking and asphyxiation.
The raunchiest and sloppiest throatfucking you can think of, wants you to go so hard he passes out.
Hairpulling.
Maskless Mark
Pillow humper, bed humper, table humper. Humper in general
Blushes the most out of all the Marks, it travels all the way down his chest and back.
Overstimulation, please keep going until he's crying and his voice is all ruined.
Likes being grabbed and manhandled. Is also the only Mark who has past experience with men.
Full Mask Mark
Very sensitive gag reflex, but loves to loudly gag and glug on it, drool all over his face and voice raspy.
Biggest daddy kink out of all of them. Starts saying it on accident. It spreads to the others.
Loves your mouth on him, especially when you eat him out.
Loves sleepy time together, like when you guys have just woken up in the morning.
Moustache Mark
Feminization (on him), very embarrassed about it.
Would wear panties if you asked. He secretly wants too, but is too ashamed to try.
Takes the breeding kink to the next level. (Busts on the spot when you joke about knocking him up).
If you grew a beard or moustache, but also, you cutting his moustache off. He can't explain why it turns him on so much.
Shiesty Mark
Chubby Chaser. Your body type doesn't really matter, but he does get a lil extra giddy if you have some junk in your trunk.
Sloppiest head you've ever gotten. Full mask may have the worst gag reflex, but Shiesty makes it wet, sloppy and loud on purpose.
Put a cockring on him, he won't be able to see straight knowing he's got it on.
Goes really deep into subspace and is so sweet and obedient when he is. Doesn't happen a lot, needs extra aftercare.
Omni-Mark
No idea what to call it. He would want to be your housewife, apron and all.
Also into piss. Doesn't mind watersports, but really into omorashi. Goes wild if he lets go in his suit and how visible it is.
Just you being dominant in general and telling him what to do.
Hickeys and bruises.
Viltrumite Mark
CBT, especially if you mix it with some roleplay
Sounding
Probably got some kinda kink for like, submission. Like, how viltrumites will swear themselves to their leader, on their knee, hand on heart, etc.
Likes getting told what to do. Acts like it doesnt matter and he only does it because he cares about you, but it gets his rocks off.
Bulletproof Mark
Cock cages.
Muscle worship and massages. Seeing his body covered in oil makes his heart face.
Feet, hands, your back. Wants to bite and worship you all over.
Voice kink, please talk to him.
Faceless Mark
Edging that then becomes overstimulation, until he's arching and unable to breathe.
Choking and asphyxiation. Would want to try you waterboarding him, but just hasn't mentioned it...
Likes watching you get off, just by yourself and not with others.
Big sucker for soft words and pets, straight up melts against you and would purr if he could.
Empire Mark
Worst sweat and musk pig you've ever met. He acts all tough but his knees buckle if you pull him under your arm.
Can be really really bratty, like, it's horrible. Steals your laundry too, but they all do, he just does it the most.
Spanking, bruises, hickeys, etc.
Sloppy seconds, in the sense, that he likes giving you head after you've fucked one of the others.
Honorary mention
Cyborg Mark (my original Alt Mark)
He can change out his genitals, got that robussy, markussy? Yes, it can vibrate, has all the settings you need.
Doesn't have his original tongue, so his new one is longer and a lot more flexible. He also has no gag reflex.
Can't actually really digest anything he eats and drinks, so he can save your load. Might give it to the other Marks, for a price...
Extremely insecure about his body, but also a huge sucker for compliments and praise.
#male reader#mark grayson#alternate mark grayson#alternative mark grayson#invincible#sinister mark#mohawk mark#mark grayson x male reader#mark grayson x reader#mark grayson imagine#mark grayson headcanon#invincible x reader#invincible x male reader#invincible imagine#invincible headcanons#idk. enjoy invincible-nation
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no. 1 pick—p.b x f!reader

pairing: paige bueckers x dallas wings!fem!reader
warnings: nothing but straight fluff
synopsis: sharing a moment with paige after being drafted.
a/n: i know i don’t really talk about the games and stuff and yes im a new fan but im genuinely so proud of paige and everything she’s accomplished. im so proud of kaitlyn and aubrey, they are so deserving. i really admire paige’s openness about her faith, her dedication, the way she lifts her peers up without thinking twice. she’s genuinely an amazing human being and i pray that she has an incredible journey in this new chapter of her life. also dont mind me using the same pictures from my last post!! i literally could not find pictures from tonight.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
your heart was pounding against your chest, eyes filled with tears that threatened to ruin your makeup. paige had found you almost immediately, as soon as the spotlight was off of her.
"you can't cry." she shook her head, a shake to her voice that let you know she was close to crying herself. she wrapped her arms around you and pulled you into a hug, letting her head fall onto your shoulder.
"you can't tell me what to do." you laughed through the tears and pushed her back slightly so you could see her face. when you looked at her all you could see was a girl who had been through so much but continuously came back from it stronger. you had watched her go through some of the hardest things--injuries that have taken some off the court, being put in the spotlight even when she was going through things-- and you couldn't have been prouder of her. "i'm so proud of you, you're the strongest person i know."
"you're making me cry and i look so good tonight." paige jutted her lip out, her eyes softening as she looked at you, and a few tears rolled down her cheek. she never passed up an opportunity to crack a joke but she was grateful to have you, grateful that you were in her life. she delicately wiped her eyes so she didn't ruin her makeup.
"you do look good." you smiled, hands coming up to cup her face. "number one pick looks good on you."
that made her smile, wide and genuine, and she leaned in to kiss you quickly—just a gentle press of lips that carried so much love behind it. you were both vaguely aware that cameras were flashing, probably capturing every second, but neither of you cared. she was still holding your hand when a voice broke through the moment.
"paige! y/n! mind if we have a word?" a reporter asked gently, stepping up with a camera crew in tow, clearly trying not to intrude too harshly. you both shook your heads and straightened up for the cameras, laughing a bit as you ran your hands through your hair to look presentable for the cameras. the reporter turned to paige first.
"first off, congratulations!" she said, a bright smile on her face. "number one pick, how does that feel?"
paige exhaled slowly, her eyes flicking back to you for just a second before she answered. “it’s surreal,” she said, her voice a mix of nerves and pride. “i’ve worked for this my whole life. been through a lot to get here… and it means everything. i'm just... i'm thankful to my teammates, my parents, coaches, and of course y/n. they've kept me going honestly.”
you ran your hand down her forearm and interlaced your fingers, your eyes on her the entire time.
“and this moment—who’s the first person you wanted to see when it was official?”
she didn’t hesitate. “her,” she said, turning toward you with a soft grin that made your heart flip. “always her.”
the reporter chuckled, clearly loving the moment. “well, we’ve seen the two of you together on the court and off, the media loves your relationship. tell us—how important has she been in your journey to this point?”
paige’s smile shifted, more tender now. “she’s my rock,” she said simply. “she’s the one who saw me on the bad days, when I couldn’t walk without pain, when I doubted if I’d ever be back. she believed in me even when i didn’t. tonight isn’t just for me—it’s for her too.”
you felt your throat tighten at her words, and when the reporter looked to you, you tried your best to hold it together. “she’s the hardest-working person I know. i've never met someone so determined like paige is. she's been through so much and i—i really couldn't be more proud of her."
paige squeezed your hand again, and the camera caught it all—the subtle touch, the glances, the smile that only ever appeared when she was looking at you.
"okay, one last question before we leave." the reporter looked down and her watch for a split second before turning back to you. "how do you feel about having her with you in dallas?"
"oh god," you laughed. "i'm excited, to be honest. you know, we played together at upon before i came here and i'm just glad we get to continue our journey together."
"well, we're excited to see you two together again." the reporter gave you both a smile and thanked you for your time, turning around to her camera crew and directing them to another player.
when it was just the two of you, you turned your attention to paige and gave her a look, pointing a finger at her. "don't think i'm gonna go easy on you either."
"i hope not." she grinned, pulling you in and pressing another kiss to your lips, longer this time but not long enough to draw attention.
her hands gave a light squeeze to your waist, a silent promise that no matter what happened you would always have each other.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
#m speaks#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers x fem!reader#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x fem!reader smut#sub!paige bueckers#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers x fem!reader fluff#uconnwbb#dallas wings#l
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letters from dallas part 1
paige bueckers x azzi fudd
a/n: in which i neglect all the other series and fics im supposed to be writing to send more angst ur way <3
lfd masterlist | main masterlist
May 1, 2025
Dear Azzi,
It fucking sucks here.
I know I’m supposed to be thankful for this opportunity. And I am, I swear. My teammates are nice. Arike’s been showing me around downtown. Nai and Lyss are funny. They’ve adopted me, called me their child. They remind me of us.
My therapist said it’s good to write down my feelings. Not sure how she’d say if it was letters, letters to you, but hey, something is better than nothing.
I saw a trailer for Frozen 3 last week and I thought of you. I hope you’re doing well. I called KK the other day. She was so excited - I felt bad. I haven’t been as good as I wanted to be with talking to our team - well, your team now - but it hurts too much knowing that they get to spend every day with you and I can’t. I asked her about you. She seemed hesitant to tell me. But I kept nagging her and she told me you’re good, spending a lot of time reading and stuff. Said they finally got you off Colleen Hoover. She wants me to move on, I can tell. It’s killing both of us, how I can’t let you go. But I guess writing these letters and stuffing them in my closet are how I’m trying to get my closure and deal with my feelings, so maybe this will help.
You’re on my fucking mind all the time, and I wish you weren’t. I miss you so bad sometimes it hurts to exist. If you saw the amount of melatonin I take every every night just to avoid you in my dreams, you’d probably yell at me.
Love,
Paige
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
June 7, 2025
Dear Azzi,
Have I mentioned that Drew hasn’t been talking to me? He blames me for our breakup, and he misses you like hell. I do too.
I played like shit in the game yesterday. I can’t believe we lost to the Sparks. It was nice seeing Cam again though. I don’t know if you remember, but it’s our anniversary. I saw that you were at the soccer game with the girls. You looked really good, really happy. I guess it doesn’t affect you like it affects me. And I know that should make me like, mad, or jealous. But I’m glad at least one of us is healing?
Honestly? it sucks having to see your face all over social media. It sucks even more whenever I go on my Instagram page and you’re all over it too. I could be salty and delete all of it, but that would start too much drama. Besides, that would mean deleting like half my posts
I wonder how Jose and Jon are doing. Jon unfollowed me the other day. That one hurt pretty bad. I miss my little brothers, and I miss your parents.
Love,
Paige
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
August 28, 2025
Dear Azzi,
Yesterday was a fucking shit show. Honestly, I didn’t expect you to even show up when I heard you guys were coming. It was weird, seeing you in the audience. It was everything I’d always imagined, you coming to my games, but it also made me feel sick, knowing this is what could’ve been. What should’ve been. I was nervous the last quarter thinking about what to say to you after the game, but god, Azzi, you couldn’t even look at me. I tried to talk to you after the group pic but you disappeared.
Maybe it’s a good time to tell you that Katie and Tim were at my game last week, against the Mystics. I’m gonna be honest, when I saw they were there, I avoided them, and I’m not proud of it. I ran to my car straight after the presser but somehow they found where I parked and were waiting next to it?? If this was a different circumstance I would’ve laughed.
All they told me was great game before I started crying. I don’t even know what came over me. But your mom hugged me and that made me cry even harder. They told me I was their daughter no matter what, and they loved me. I wrote it down as soon as I left because I didn’t ever wanna forget.
Azzi, we didn’t even marry each other like we promised, and I still feel like we left a broken family. I didn’t mean for this many people to get hurt, for this many relationships to shatter because ours did.
It makes forgetting you so much harder, and that’s what pisses me off. That I’ve injured my knee and gone through months of rehab and moved across the country to a brand new city, yet this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
From,
Paige
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
October 2nd, 2025
Dear Azzi,
I was calling KK again and I didn’t ask about you this time. I think I’m making some progress.
Arike keeps trying to get me with some of her friends, but it still doesn’t feel right. I think I need a little bit more time.
From,
Paige
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
October 20, 2025
Dear Azzi,
I turn 24 today. Damn I feel old. I’ve spent a third of my life now loving you.
From,
Paige
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
October 22nd, 2025
Dear Azzi,
I just got your present in the mail. You didn’t have to. I love it. Thank you.
- Paige
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
November 11, 2025
Happy birthday big head. I think you probably received my gift by now. I debated on writing a card, but you didn’t write me one, and I’ve decided to leave the cards (haha) in your hand. So I’m just following your lead. I hope you enjoy 23.
- Paige
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
December 7, 2025
Azzi,
Hell of a game yesterday. Proud of you. National player of the year performance
- P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
April 5, 2026
Az,
LET’S FUCKING GOOOO. Shit, man. Two peat natty champs??? Unbelievable. My hands are tweaking out, I can’t even read my own handwriting. I knew you could do it, Az. Thank you for not forcing me to wear irish merch..I never look good in green like you do
- P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
April 13, 2026
Azzi,
Drafted to the Sky????
See you so fucking soon
Nice fit at the draft btw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May 16, 2026
Dear Azzi,
Fuck, the way you smiled at me after that game. Maybe I’ll have the courage to finally text you. I know it’s probably not the best idea but…I still regret everything. It’s been a little bit more than a year and it still hurts as bad as it did the first day. Is this normal?
Love,
Paige
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Drown in the Deep
Synopsis: Drown your sorrows away into the deep dark ocean where it can’t be found. Feel its cold embrace and let the water in. Maybe then, you’ll see him again when you no longer feel anything.
CONTENT WARNING: The reader very much intends to die/get themself killed, detailing how they’d love to drown in the abyss.
Notes: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader / Spoilers for Sebastian’s backstory / Possibly OOC / Established relationship, can be interpreted as either married or not but they are living together / Angst (Hurt w/ eventual comfort) / Death + blood (not the reader despite the synopsis and content warning) / Not really a happy ending honestly
(This is VERY self-indulgent I love hate Sebastian. Also a bit of experimentation and playing around with his character. I’m not so good on romance stuff, so I hope what’s here is to your liking. Also rewrote some parts A LOT due to idea change/read up on lore and realized things didn’t add up here. I think I’ve got most of it covered though. Anyway I love how a few runs of playing Pressure for the first time, I died to A-60 HAHAAAAA kill me.)
Credits: Dividers by @cafekitsune
A chance to be freed from your criminal record, and a reward worth to last for a very, very long time. As they always say, “High risk, high reward,” and the risks were certainly high. You could very much die. It was a chance anyone crazy enough would take.
But you didn’t sign up for this for the reward. You didn’t care about it in the slightest. To you, this would be an easy way out. An escape from this dreadful life fate had decided for you. So here you are, sitting in a submarine with three others in silence. There’s no telling on how deep you’re going, they never bothered to tell you how exactly far it was nor the possible dangers you’ll be facing. You’ll welcome anything if it means you won’t wake up again.
Still, you wondered why things went the way it did. Everything was fine until your partner was framed for a murder he didn’t commit. Nine murders, to be exact. You were there for the trial. You saw and heard everything. You kept your cool throughout all of it. You were hoping, praying to whatever god is out there to show them he was innocent. None of it mattered in the end.
After the trial, you went straight home, not even bothering to listen to your family who was also there. By the time you entered your shared home and locked the door behind you, you stood in silence for a while. You didn’t know what you were feeling at that very moment. You felt hot tears beginning to swell up, and your vision beginning to blur. Your legs eventually give out and you fell to your knees. You muffled your sobs with your hand as you curled up on the floor.
You couldn’t get yourself to calm down for a while. You don’t even know how long you were laying there once you feel your tears dry up and the sound of your heart beating rapidly leaves your ears. You don’t know what to do.
He was imprisoned and sentenced for execution for the nine murders you know he didn’t cause, but that didn’t matter. You weren’t there when it supposedly happened. You couldn’t prove anything. You were powerless to do anything.
Many early mornings were spent struggling to even leave the house, let alone the bed itself if you even managed to drag yourself to bed. You were too exhausted to even try for most. When you did manage to begin your day, you quickly became aware that everything is so much more irritating. People talking to you, certain noises you hear, how your food tastes… You just wanted to go back home and waste away.
As for majority of your nights, they have been spent just curled up in bed and crying until you eventually exhausted yourself. Gripping anything that resembled or had traces left of him and holding it close, hoping just the mere fleeting scent of him lulls you to sleep. Feeling the cold and empty space beside you and being reminded he’s gone, as if the reminders from your family weren’t already enough.
You know your family has been trying to contact you, sometimes even coming to the house, but you’ve ignored them every time. You don’t want to see them. You don’t want to talk, to hear, or to even think about them. You just wanted to be left alone.
A few years had gone by since then but you didn’t feel any better than before. You weren’t sure if you felt worse. Maybe it was because you felt numb nowadays.
Before you knew it, you soon find yourself behind bars. What you did, you don’t know. If you really did it, you didn’t care. You don’t know how long your sentence is, but you don’t care. You don’t know if whatever you did caused any deaths, but you don’t care. You don’t care anymore. You just wanted to drown in your despair, and this… “job offer” seemed promising. Retrieve a crystal deep inside a facility hidden in the deepest parts of the ocean.
To be so deep underwater to where the sun does not shine, to drift endlessly as water fills your lungs and it becomes so unbearably cold. To where you can’t feel anything anymore, not your body nor your emotions. To just feel the cold water and see nothing but darkness as the water pulls your body to wherever it so desires. Perhaps your remains could become the next meal for whatever lurks in the ocean’s abyss. Your body would never be found. You’d be gone without a trace.
So you signed up, knowing they don’t expect you to return. You don’t either. You don’t plan on getting that crystal, and you don’t plan on returning alive.
The shotgun shell directed at your neck on the diving gear given to you seemed promising as well.
If there is an afterlife, maybe you can see him again there. That sounded nice. You just wish you weren’t sent down with three other people. You never thought it’d be so hard to die in a place where risks of death were incredibly high. Perhaps it was because they wanted to use each other to get the reward for themselves, so they kept each other alive as long as possible. Covering each other’s eyes when the shark was outside the window, turning off another’s flashlight when an odd black figure appeared in the dark, saving each other from the creature inside the lockers… They weren’t going to let such easy bait be killed so easily, not this early.
Still, you strayed close behind as they often checked if you were still there. You kept your head low, until you heard another pair of footsteps from behind you.
Strange… The other three are already in front of you… And they’re just looking through drawers for anything useful.
The footsteps are getting louder and faster. You turned around just in time to see a strangely humanoid, armless figure running at you. It yelped the moment you locked eyes on it, immediately turning tail and running away.
“What the hell was that?!” One of the other expendables exclaimed.
Both of you walked back into the previous room to see where it possibly came from. There was a hole in the wall, shaped exactly like the creature they just saw.
“So they’re really in the walls, huh…” they then lightly punch your shoulder, “Hey, good job. I didn’t even hear it until it made that weird sound before it ran off,”
You say nothing.
“Come on, let’s keep going,”
You looked at them as they rejoined the others then back at the hole. You wished you didn’t turn around.
After a few more doors, the lights suddenly flickered. The one closest to you grabbed you and had you hide in a locker. Maybe they picked up on what you’ve been trying to do. You did willingly look into the eyes of the shark just outside the window, and they had to cover your eyes and drag you along with them. You also opened a locker that was already occupied by a strange creature coated in black and, what you assumed were, purple eyes. You hoped they’d leave you behind to be devoured by it, but you were pulled out and was patched up as best as they could do it. The damage wasn’t too severe, but still. There just had to be a spare medical kit in the room.
Maybe you weren’t being so discreet about it.
There were only three lockers in the room you were currently in and none in the room prior. They pressed on to the next door ahead. You were about to open your locker to step out into the path of the oncoming creature, but it zipped by you in an instant. It was much faster than what you’ve been dealing with.
You hear the others leave their locker followed with a quick flash of the flash beacon. You slowly step out of your locker and follow them into the next room to meet up with the other person. The one in front of you pulled out their flashlight, but ended up tripping over something. You stopped walking as they shine their light over what made them trip.
It was the one who ran ahead to find a spare locker. There was no blood or any signs of injury, but they weren’t moving and their eyes were still wide open. The other two tried to get them to respond, even shaking them, but they remained unresponsive. It was almost like they were just left an empty shell.
You restrain yourself from speaking as you would’ve called them an idiot for giving up a hiding spot in favor to make sure their bait stayed alive for a little longer, only to get killed in the process. Only 27 doors have been opened. Surely not all of you can survive much longer.
By the 35th door, one of them had used a code breacher to open a door without the keycard. Once the door slid open, a large creature with a smiling grey mask was seen on the other side of the door. Before they could react, it lunged towards them and instantly killed them on the spot before retracting their hand as it gets caught in the door while it was sliding shut. The blood splattered all over the floor and even reached you and the other expendable beside you.
By the 47th door, the lights flickered as you searched through a room off to the side. You can hear what you can describe as a distorted chorus faintly echoing down the hall, and soon a loud scream followed with multiple banging against a locker. The noise stopped as you walked to the door leading back to the path you’re supposed to take and you only see the aftermath. A fresh pool of blood and a destroyed locker. There was no body. The creature responsible is no where to be found.
You were alone now. Finally.
You kept your head low as you continued on, not bothering to search through the drawers for anything. Your body is starting to ache at this point. You opened the 50th door leading into a dimly lit corridor.
“Need to stock up?”
You looked up as you see the vent’s cover fall over. You turned around, then back towards the vent. You can see the next door ahead that requires a keycard, but you can’t find it from out here. You didn’t have a code breacher either as the others you were previously with had used them up.
“Come on, I won’t bite,” the strangely familiar voice beckons.
Had he not spoken twice, you would’ve thought you were hallucinating. Or maybe you are right now. A sort of “false hope,” so to speak. Not to mention how you can just barely recognize the voice. You’re having a hard time processing it after everything.
With no where else to turn, you walk to the vent and slowly crawl through. The room was dark, but lit up as you made it to the other side. You managed to get a good look at him, not exactly expecting some sort of fish-human hybrid.
“Ah, there you-” you see how his smile quickly disappears and his eyes widened once he sees you.
You only stare at him, tilting your head slightly to the side. He looked like he had just seen a ghost which wouldn’t be so far off considering what you had to witness for the past 49 doors, but why was he looking at you like that? He cautiously lowered himself down, close enough to your height but still far enough for some space.
You instinctively, though slightly, moved away as his hand moved closer to your face. That was until he finally spoke.
“[Name]..?”
You stepped back upon hearing your name leave his mouth. You narrow your eyes at him, “How do you…?”
Then it finally registered in your head. You’re not just hearing things, that voice was his.
Your eyes widened, now feeling his cold hand against your cheek, “S-Sebastian?“
“Yes…! Yes!” He nods, smiling widely, “It’s me!”
You couldn’t hold back your tears at all. The moment he confirmed it was really him was what finally broke down your walls. The last time you had cried this much was when he was to be executed. You had to hold onto his hand to keep yourself standing. He seemed to sense that as his third limb pulled you closer to him and held you in a tight embrace. You buried your face into his shoulder and sobbed until his grip on you got a bit too tight.
“W-Wait, Sebastian-!” You cried, “Let go!”
He gasps, immediately pulling away. You winced as you gently rubbed your arm. You looked up at Sebastian again and smiled.
“You have no idea how happy I am to see you’re still alive. I have so many questions. Can I-?”
Sebastian stops you there, “Hang on. Before I get to answering your questions, I have one tiny question for you,” he suddenly towers over you as he yells, “How the hell did you get here?! And why the hell did you sign up for this?! Didn’t they tell you the risks? That you could very much die?”
You jumped at his sudden change in tone and almost fell back. His tail had went to cover the opening of the vent in case you ultimately decided to make a run for it. What do you even tell him? That you signed up just to die? No other reason. How could you tell him that?
“I-I… Well, yes, they did. I just- It’s because…” you don’t know what to say.
“Tell me the truth,” he demands. You swear you heard a hiss in his voice, “Of all people, why did you have to end up here?”
“I signed up for this because…” you paused, “Specifically because I wanted to die. I knew what I was getting myself into, Sebastian. They didn’t tell me anything specific,”
“Of course those idiots didn’t…” He scoffed, “They don’t expect you or the others to return,”
“I never planned to. I couldn’t care less about this so called crystal they told me I was supposed to retrieve,” you looked away, “Honestly, I don’t even remember what I did to end up here… Maybe I did something that killed a few people, or maybe I was framed like you,”
Sebastian calmed down a little and had moved back as you spoke. He repositions himself so that his back was against the wall and his tail would nudge you towards him.
“You said you signed up with the intention to die here,” he then says, “Why?”
You sit beside him as his tail slightly curls around you, “You were sent for execution and confirmed to be dead. I just couldn’t live with the fact that I couldn’t see you,”
His looks at your bloodied clothes and noticed bandages through some of the holes in your uniform. He points to it, “Are those..?”
“It’s from this weird black tentacle creature in a locker. It’s nothing too serious, if that’s what you’re wondering,”
He muttered a name you didn’t quite catch and he quickly moves on, “And the blood?”
You shake your head, “It’s not mine,”
He lets out a sigh of relief at that. It was finally your turn to ask questions.
“Sebastian, how did you survive?”
“Was picked up by Urbanshade before I was supposed executed. Guess they decided it’d be better if I was officially declared dead,”
“And you became this during that time?”
“You could say that. It’s, uh… It’s a long story,”
He doesn’t want to discuss it and you knew that was the case. So, you didn’t question it further. You have a good feeling you may have an idea now that you noticed a document on the table. Whatever was in there might have the answers to most of your questions, but you’re not sure if you even want to read it if he lets you. The mere thought of what could be mentioned in there makes you sick.
There’s still one other that you desperately want an answer for.
“We’re… not leaving this place, are we?” You questioned, not looking at him, “At least, I’m probably not thanks to this diving gear… One shotgun shell pointed directly at my neck, and if I even try to take it off, tamper with it, or leave this place,”
You stopped there. Both of you knew. Sebastian didn’t say anything for a moment, “I can get both of us out of here. I just need more time,”
More time. How much more time before your body can no longer keep going? You want to believe him, you really do, but you really might actually die here.
How ironic. You came here because you wanted to die. You watched the others die before your very eyes without much of a reaction. All of a sudden, you feel your stomach drop.
You’re afraid to die.
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