#and his mom getting emotional..hashtag me

[herejusttosufferalong]

L breaks up with J. He's distraught. Goes on a hot boy summer, meets A. She fills a void & he seems happy again, his family are thrilled that he's feeling better & they get on well with A cos she's just a regular, nice person (stay with me). So he has this attachment, like an emotional rebound & feels safe etc.

Press tour happens. L & N are like shit we love each other #polin #reallife. But do we love each other or are we just talking about having fake sex with each other to strangers constantly.

Brazil - oh no, I'm drunk. Let's get into the metaphorical carriage.

Rest of press tour - love you. Can't hide it. Oh no I forgot about my actual GF & have been reminded as her mum has gone 2007 Facebook mom on some comments.

Despite what a growing majority of Polin fans think, I'm actually not a little bitch. Let's give DM some photos of us and they'll leave my rebound alone so she isn't tarnished as an absolute N hating psycho

N - hashtag supportive but confused. See you in September when we can sit in an actual carriage and hash this out

L - K see you soon. Will keep the GF around cos I care for her and you're off being a fairy queen. Also where am I

are... are you drunk anon?

cuz i feel drunk reading this lmao

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

The Trip To Cornelia Street

main masterlist

spencer reid x famous!reader universe

word count: 1.5 k

warnings: slut-shaming? i think thats all

Being away from Spencer was hard, especially when they had just spent a week together. But now they were both in New York, Spencer here on a case and Y/N staying at her rented place on Cornelia Street. Sadly though, being as Spencer was here for a case she didn’t know exactly when he would get off and be able to come see her. So Y/N had gone to a bar, wanting to see her girl friends. But god, she couldn’t have picked a worse time.

Y/N phone would not stop going off in the back pocket of her jean shorts, grabbing it to turn off her notifications, she sees messages from some of her friends that weren’t with her now, asking if she was okay? Why would she not be okay? Y/N takes a step towards the bar to sit and check twitter. One of the biggest mistakes people make everyday. 

Kim Kardashian had posted an altered video of Y/N saying she approved the lyrics. God it felt as if Y/N world had come crumbling down, some of things people were saying. Calling her a liar, and playing the victim card. The bar suddening started getting hotter, felt like it was closing in on her.

Y/N called her car, after she got out of the bar her fresh air. She then sent her friends, who are still in the establishment, a text saying she was leaving and that they should stay and have fun. She didn’t want to ruin her friends' nights. 

Her car arrives, not leaving her waiting long. Sitting in the backseat of the car, her mom texting and trying to call, all Y/N wants to do, the only person she wants to talk to is Spencer. She knows he was on a case, but it was very much possible that tey had finished the case. They had been on it for four days. Maybe it was her emotional state or the few drinks she had in her, but nonetheless Y/N called Spencer. Miraculously Spencer answered after the third ring.

“Hey, baby.” His voice was soft, yet raspy at the same time. He must had been just going to sleep.

“Hey.” Y/N’s voice breaking as she speaks, it was at this moment she realised she was crying. 

Spencer on the other line, sitting up in bed at the tone in her voice asking, “Baby, are you okay? What's wrong?”

She said “I’m fine.” but they both knew it wasn’t true.

“I know you’re not fine. What happened?”

“They hate me.” Her voice breaks again.

“Who-who hates you?”

“Everyone. You remember- of course you remember.. I told you about the lyrics in Kanye’s song about me?” She waits to hear him mumble a quick ‘mhm’ before continuing, “And when Kim s-said that I knew about the lyrics, well she… She posted an altered video that sounds like I agreed. And now everyone hates me. Y/N L/N is over party is trending worldwide. They hate me.” Y/N says struggling, having to pause a couple times to wipe tears or sniffle 

“Love, where are you?”

“You can’t come, you have a case.”

“No, not anymore we solved it. Where are you?”

“I-I’m uh in my car.. Going to my place on Cornelia Street.”

“Okay I’ll meet you there. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

At this point Spencer had calmed Y/N down enough, with a bath, and sweet cuddles, mixed with even sweeter kisses. Spencer had asked for a few days off to help take care of Y/N, Hotch gladly let him, knowing Spencer wouldn’t ask unless it truly was important. 

It was now the next day. Whenever Y/N was with Spencer he hadn’t let her on social media, but with Spencer in the shower there was sadly no one there to stop her. Y/N reading tweet after tweet with the hashtag Y/N L/N is over party. Tweets saying she was a liar, always been a bitch, and a slut. Someone saying she’s a mess, and that her new hot boyfriend should get out now, that she didn’t deserve anyone. Y/N couldn’t help but agree, she never thought she deserved Spencer and now with someone else saying it and thousands agreeing, it clearly had some truth. But the worst came when someone replied with a picture of Spencer hugging another girl. No one she recognized, it surely wasn’t any of the women on his team.

Was he just leading her on, did he love someone else? She trusted him, she thought he was worth trusting. 

Y/N was in an emotional, and irrational state, there was no logic to her next move, of leaving the rented house, without saying goodbye to Spencer. She quickly packed her bag, while Spencer was still in the shower, then she left. Not leaving a note, just leaving. 

-

Spencer walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, walking towards his and Y/N’s shared bedroom. Seeing the room in a dishevelled state, one of Y/N’s suitcases, and quite a bit of her clothes gone. Spencer immediately calls Y/N, pacing around the bedroom as he lets the phone ring several times, Y/N not answering. Spencer decides to get dressed while he continues to call. Placing the phone on the bed, on speaker, slipping his pants on, buttoning the buttons of his shirt. Spencer was borderline ready to call the team, worried out of his mind. Until Y/N had finally picked up.  

“What do you want, Spencer?” Y/N asked harshly, she never spoke to him in this tone. And never calls him by his full name. It’s also Spence, or baby, or his favourite my love, never Spencer.

“Where are you? Where did you go- why did you go?”

“I saw the pictures of you and that woman, Spencer.”

Once again with her tone, it told Spencer that she was not in the least bit joking. Yet he had no idea what she was talking about. Him and another woman? Anyone would be stupid to do that to a woman like Y/N, and Spencer is provably a genius. Not to mention that he had no idea how he got Y/N to go out with him, he couldn’t do it again if he tried. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, baby.” Hearing him call her ‘baby’ caused a tear to drip out of her eye, not being able to handle it, not being able to handle the idea of losing him. 

“Spencer. I saw the picture of you with a red head, you were hugging her. Your hands were on her waist.”

At that Spencer had finally registered what she was talking about. He had seen the cameras yesterday, taking pictures of him while he was getting victims of the serial arsonist they were dealing with. The woman in question he was hugging, her son hadn’t existed the building yet. Spencer comforting and holding her so she didn’t run into the building herself. 

“Y/N no- please come back so I can explain. And I do have an explanation.”

“I want to hear it then.” 

“Okay.. That woman was a victim of a serial arsonist and her son wasn’t out of the building yet. I was holding her back from running inside. I didn’t tell you, because I know you don’t like to hear about the bad side of my job. I’m sorry, I should have told you when I saw people taking pictures, so this didn’t happen.”

Boy, did Y/N feel stupid, with all her past relationships it seems she always expects the worst. But Spencer wasn’t like all the other guys she’s dated he was better, kinder, gentler, definitely smarter, yet she still expects the worst in him.

“Spence, I’m so sorry.”

“No. You don’t have to be sorry, I didn’t tell you.”

“You shouldn’t have to tell me every time you comfort a victim, that’s your job. And I promise I won’t run away like this again, I’ll talk to you first.”

“Okay, are you coming back then?” Spencer’s voice sounded small when he asked, like he wasn’t sure if Y/N needed more time. It made Y/N smile, he was so god damn adorable, and she loved every bit of him.

“Yeah, I’m turning around now. I love you.”

“I love you too, Sweetheart.”

-

The next few days were spent at the Cornelia Street house, cuddled together on the couch, each taking turns picking movies to watch. Which caused weird combinations like the 2002 ‘Solaris’ movie, Spencer had gone on and on about the original being a 5-hour long movie in Russian, not that Y/N minded, she always loved listening to Spencer talk about topics he knew a lot about, which happens to be almost any topic she could think of. ‘Solaris’ was followed by ‘Mean Girls’ which was quite a culture shock for Spencer.

They spent the night in the secret oasis of their bed, sharing sweet kisses, and gentle touches. It was a good escape for Y/N given all that was going on with her name at the moment. Spencer was a great escape for her.

[startrekprodigyfan]

Okay yeah… I binged the whole season in one day.

It was actually surprisingly easy to do so. And while that means my planned slower recaps and speculation are basically out the window, I also now just don’t have to worry about spoilers for weeks on end.

I’m still going to keep spoilers under a cut though. Even if you block key hashtags, stuff can get through, and just making the spoilers further down a text post you have to scroll past to continue browsing tumblr doesn’t help either. Hide that content behind a cut, please!

Non-spoiler thoughts:

It was so good. It was honestly more Trek than I could’ve possibly expected. And to all those early naysayers who were confused by the Protostar and where it was supposed to be in the timeline after the first episode of season 1, all of that gets answered and put into context by the end of season 2. Thank GOD! Every single plot point people brought up and thought was a “plot hole” gets filled and explained.

It’s not as emotional as the first season, but the situations and events definitely still have a lot of weight and the stakes are so high for so long too! There’s a surprising number of dark events that happen throughout the series. Way darker than even I’m used to watching the animated shows that I do. Kudos for not skimping on the peril and stakes of the mission for the sake of kids being traumatized lol

And while there is the potential for more, if we never get a season 3 this would still be an extremely satisfying ending all the same. I am very happy there aren’t any loose ends here.

Prodigy is without a doubt the most reliably consistent Star Trek show that’s ever existed. Not a single episode feels like filler. Not a single episode wastes time or characters. Even the goofy episodes have character development and callbacks later, and I genuinely don’t think there’s a single episode that I would skip or not watch again. That’s an amazing feat in and of itself, but as a Trek fan that’s just unheard of! Kudos all around!

Now for my longer spoiler thoughts under the cut:

Okay…

How the HELL did you guys make Wesley Crusher’s time traveling arc sooo good? As a TNG fan I was always annoyed with the “traveler” storylines and with Wesley’s character in general. Even as a kid I never really liked him. But this storyline makes him interesting and gives a lot of weight to his powers. He’s almost like The Doctor from Doctor Who, someone who has so much going on in his head that he’s sort of lost it.

That honestly was the biggest surprise to me. I was convinced that Hologram Janeway (and the construct) were somehow manipulating time and events because of the wormhole. Janeway would be trying to help them, while the construct was trying to stop them. That was my working theory for the start of the series. Imagine my surprise when it turns out it’s Wesley Crusher! wtf!?

I do like that he gets to reunite with his mom finally. And that he learns he has a brother.

Incidentally that’s something else I was not expecting. How MUCH of this series was going to be timeline connected to the events of Picard and Lower Decks respectively. Like, wow… they connected the Mars Shipyard explosion and the Romulan evacuation plot points that made sense for the story. Like holy crap, then FINALLY getting into Starfleet only for the shipyards to explode and Starfleet is severely crippled. I did not expect that to happen, and it’s sadly realistic too.

I still hate the Romulan evacuation storyline from Picard, but as a matter of keeping things consistent it makes sense for it here. And while I don’t like it being a canon event, it’s overall good for the consistency of “prime” trek.

I do like that Dal became a second in command. I’ve always felt like Dal was never really destined to be the captain and that he’s always been better at helping others be their best selves. So it makes sense for his character arc that he learns he doesn’t need to be in charge to make a difference and that there’s no shame in being second.

Overall I am still reeling from how much Trek happened in this season. There’s never a dull moment. Unfortunately I am not optimistic about a 3rd season. Netflix picking up a mostly completed series to broadcast on their streaming service is far FAR cheaper than paying for an entire season to be created outright. And sadly, as much as I want more Prodigy, I have a feeling it’s just not on people’s radars enough for it to do gangbuster numbers enough to convince Netflix to pick them up for a 3rd season. I hope I am proven wrong, but I will not get my desire for more season unrealistically hyped up.

I do want to rewatch the entire show now, because there were clues left in the first season that only get answered at the end of season 2. And I love closed loop time travel storylines like that! I can’t wait to go back and connect the dots knowing what I know now.

An excellent series. Probably one of Trek’s best in decades. A true love for the material and the characters and the legacy of Trek lore all rolled into an amazingly animated package.

[most-tragic-character-tournament]

So I'm afraid starscream will lose so here's some starscream propaganda.

(Spoilers for transformers IDW, shattered glass, earthspark, prime, and animated, etc)

First of all, before the war he was a scientist with his best friend Skyfire. They go on an expedition and Skyfire straight up gets lost in earths orbit and frozen. Starscream cannot find him and is forced to stop looking, essentially abandoning skyfire for millions of years.

During the war he joins megatron as a promising aerial expert. Now, as you can see he is now abused and tormented by megatron through nearly all the continuities. In the comics he loses his mom, but he finds her! She tries to take his body to do homicide, so he leaves her too.

At some point in the comics megatron and starscream swap bodies, while starscream is the ruler of Cybertron. So since he enjoys starscreams pain he sets his world ablaze and basically sets Cybertron into ruins.

In his time as the ruler of Cybertron, starscream is depressed, and basically lots of bots hate him. Windblade comes along, yadda yadda, he finds out his true form (he was cold forged, his spark was set into a pre built body which gives him body dysmorphia ) and after the whole ordeal he confesses his past crimes and resigns, going to jail.

Shattered glass, where everything good is bad and vice versa. Starscream is shunned by the rest of the bots for being with the decepticon cause and is stuck between staying with his friend skyfire or joining the decepticons. He chooses the latter. Later in the war rhe decepticon troops have dwindled and all are fending for themselves. Starscream looks for megatron, with success. They catch up and starscream convinced him to keep fighting. It is revealed that he has coding that can connect to a titan he dug up with skyfire years ago. He is captured by autobots and goldbug (bumblebee) rips out his spark (with the codes) right in front of skyfire. They fight over his still beating spark and skyfire gets it back! So now he keeps it around him while he travels or whatever he's doing now. (This summary is kinda unclear bc I read SG a while ago and don't remember it, but I summed up the tragedies pretty well)

Now into the series'. Transformers prime, he experiences torture physical, mental, and emotional under megatrons command. He is repeatedly beaten and is forced to beg for mercy. He gets his arm blasted off, makes clones whose pain he feels and they eventually die painfully. He starves a lot so there's that.

Transformers animated, he's a devious bastard but megatrons still tough as him, just not in the transformers prime way. He dies and becomes immortal, experiencing death many more times. And then his immortality gets taken away so he's dead for good.

Transformers Earthspark. Megatron is now an autobot working with ghost, and had abandoned all the decepticons, including starscream. Starscream is captured by ghost and is subjected to Primus-knows-what kinds of torture and experiments. He escaped but still remembers all the trauma megatron has caused him. Megatron is clearly not gonna apologize, made clear when he is eager to send starscream back to prison and full body tackles him. At which point starscream is freaking out, fearing for his life with all his previous trauma triggering emotions inside of him. After the whole ordeal is resolved, the terrans (earth born transformers) are the only ones who understand him (specifically hashtag) and he leaves, stating he will never feel safety around megatron.

Alright this is all I know, but let me assure you there is a lot more than this and I have barely scratched the surface of starscream's tragedy. Hopefully other people can add.

NOMINATE STARSCREAM AS TUMBLRS #1 TRAGIC CHARACTER!!!

[Propaganda]

[burstfoot]

Arknights, 2 and 13

2 because i'm curious

13 because of the ask i got :)

Thank you for the prompts annie!!! 2. Oh jeez to pick from three??? To pick from three??? I guess if I had to pick (and this isnt from most to least fav just an arbitrary order) Goldenglow is one of my all time favourites, I love her design sooo much its so cute I stockpiled emotes and used her as an icon even before I actually started playing the game, and then when I actually got to Light Sparks in Darkness I was glued to the event the whole time... her story about trying to give the Infected and poor of Caladon dignity and having such a simple dream crushed by the greed of the rich in the area hit really close to home... I don't think people talk about the scene where Haze talks her down from committing suicide enough, that scene is REALLY good and one of the standout moments in Arknights for me. Also s3 carries me through every boss thank u susie <3

I probably have to choose between Silence and Ptilopsis cuz they're so intertwined so it would be sort of pointless to just do both of them for 2 and 3. I'll go with Silence cuz she has way more screentime even though I do love Joyce a whole whole bunch Unlike GG I had 0 clue about her before I started playing and sort of experienced her story out of order, I read Dorothy's Vision and was like "yeah she's cool :)" and then didn't think about her that much and then I finally got convinced into reading the manwha and it transformed my mind forever... the complexity of her story and relationship with Ifrit and Saria and Rhine Lab, how selfless & passionate she is to make up for the things she did wrong... ;-; < 3333. The underdog story of all of these great minds in columbia being unfolded by a tired, dedicated 5 nothing owl mom is so good. I also really love her design and Nori might be my favourite AK artist so every piece of art he does of her I love seeing. (also i really like guardians of gahoole as a kid so im obssessed with owls)

^ the bubo bubo For my third I could go with like, Specter or Muelsyse or Flametail or any other character within my favs who actually has lore to base my love upon them on but I wont. Pudding

Pudding :) Shes so cute. Let me get straight to the point. I have seal 13. I don't want to be too negative on my account hashtag peace and love... BUT... Related to earlier mentions... I kind of can't get behind Redblade/GG anymore. It's not necessarily that I hate the idea of them together, but it feels like "red miraculously showing up to save GG from problems" is pretty much the weakest storytelling aspect of Light Sparks in Darkness that exists just to move the plot along and as a whole the pairing almost always feels like it severely downplays the depths of her character in favor of STRONG MAN protect CUTE GIRL. It's a very stereotypical M/F pairing I'm much more interested in her relationship with Quercus or Haze, both of who have seen Susie at her lowest points and reached out to support her, as opposed to Red who pretty much just like. is nice to her and saves her from goons Also every single male doc / female operator pairing kinda grosses me out, it's pandering that reduces the characters to one note caricatures of themselves. If you read doc as male all of his actual in-universe relationships are made less interesting by being romantic or you are inventing a sex god chad that does not exist to magically seduce operators that do not interact with him in the story. I was going to call it self-insert garbage but the male!doc/female operator fan content i have seen is an insult to self-insert garbage.

[I don't hate m/f pairings btw mr nothing kroos nation. Men getting pegged. Mountain and domma and/or robin is cute too]

P.S. I like wracked my brain to find a yuri pairing i didnt like becasue i dont think being like. straight people are NOT COOL is going to be controversial at all on tumblr dot gov but i legitimately could not think of a popular one that i couldn't at least slightly get behind. even the worst yuri mischaracterization is fine to me ive seen the horrors of gachabro fancomics

[livvyofthelake]

HONOR MY FRIEND HONOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first of all what she chose to do showed she had heart so jot that the fuck down!!! secondly gaten matarazzo KILL YOURSELF sorry i was just really profoundly affected by this movie. thirdly yes i cried. literally what if the only truth that mattered at the center of everything was love and it was beautiful…. what if our protagonist that fucking sucks found out that the only thing worth living for was actually love all along and she was wrong to be cynical and jaded because at the end of the day she’s a good person surrounded by people she loves that love her back in equal measure and she could never truly be capable of hurting them because she has such a big big heart….. what if our protagonist was on an initially selfish journey but found real true narrative defying love along the way and in the end that was all that mattered…….

furthermore. not one side character was slacking. kennedy? my best friend i LOVE weird girls. travis? literally chad danforth if he was in a paramount plus original movie about a girl that was kind of freaky and machiavellian. his lacrosse number was literally 8. that’s chad’s number…. gary? literally ryan evans if he was in a paramount plus original etc you get it. and then they got to kiss like real people do. hashtag justice for chad and ryan where’s that paper rings amv i have to post that later. honor’s mom? literally bread IS love mrs. rose…. and the way she said she thought michael wasn’t genuine from the start…. saying that in contrast honor always has been genuine even though she doesn’t perceive herself that way… went crazy. honor’s dad? i loved your deck honor’s dad!!! talia and emma? their henchmen swag. their sidekick realness. their bff slay. and they had such fun outfits too…. they could do tanya and rosie mamma mia. diesel? maybe he was right to bully michael. i stand with him in the end fuck michael. speaking of michael i love how they NEEDED to include one little bit of gaten singing. they were like this is 100% necessary to the plot, he needs to have a little singing moment NOW. anyway. travis’s dad? slayed. ally king! he literally just wants his gay son to stop being late for practice! coach bolton core! sorry i need to stop referencing high school musical. and the creepy guidance counselor? well i don’t want to say she was right to um. roofie him. but like. idk. i mean. well. creepy guidance counselor who keeps flirting with a 17 year old girl and insinuating that he’ll help her academically if she has sex with him vs morally ambiguous teenage girl who slips him a roofie so he won’t come onto her in a seedy bar with none of her friends around. like i’m on her side there i don’t care if what she did was bad. i love it when girls do bad things <3

ALSO. THE PLAY????? when she’s like oh did i forget to mention it’s a musical? i was like UM YEAH HONOR YOU LEFT THAT OUT!!!! and i was SOOOOO exited it was crazy. that was the REAL twist of this movie. i had a lot of fun with that ending if you couldn’t tell from the all caps…. when it went back to the “men don’t have to choose between love and power, why should a woman?” line i went crazy… why should honor have to choose between love and power??? she chose love and then she STILL blackmailed that creep and got her friend into harvard! and she’ll be fine!!!!! she’ll be fine!!! oh my god it was just soooo good seriously…. and in 90ish minutes too…. i LOVE a movie that can make me cry in 90 minutes i LOVE a short movie i LOVE to experience the breadth of human emotion within 90 minutes of a short ass movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS is movie of the year material FINALLY we are getting some fucking CONTENDERS for this shit. i can’t believe it’s april and only like. maybe five movies i’ve watched all year have really been contenders for movie of the year. ok well it was literally winter can you even blame me. anyway!! everybody go watch honor society xoxo

[catnherthoughts]

the note 10/7

*hopefully one day i'll look back on this and just be grateful that the only way to get past it is to go through it.

As much as everyoneeee hates to hear it, i always knew it was gonna come to this. most people who feel suicidal get help or find some sort of meaning to life that makes it all worth it. you don't just go through all of life wanting to kill yourself and just never do it. The feeling is like a distant friend. sometimes she is just a memory and sometimes she is with me, staying in my apartment. then of course as all good house guests do, she knows when its time to leave but still keeps in contact. so i dont forget her of course. like i could ever.

maybe i wouldn't have had to come to this if my life was different. i would say if i was prettier but i think i look very gorgeous.in fact, that's one of the few things that keeps me going. when i was ugly i used to attempt every other day. now its just a voice screaming at me that i try not to involve myself with. maybe if i had a more emotionally available father. maybe if i had a more emotionally mature mother. maybe if my friends reached out more. i could blame every person on this earth for not doing something but at the end of the day this is my fault. i'm the one who let the brain disease get to me. i take my meds regularly. i exercise and try to eat well. i do self care and still, i cant get myself to care about myself.

i came to the realization the other day that i am not living for myself. that was such an insane realization. i was driving to my human rights and digital media class and the thought came into my mind. i am only alive because i don't want to make people sad with my death. how sad is that? my mom would be devastated and maybe off herself. i hope she never has to read this but if she does i would want her to keep going. my friends would be in eternal torment wondering what they could have done. you did all you could. my dad would maybe just be a bit more numb. or maybe he'd upheave his own life, then again i don't think he'd care that much. he gave me the opportunity to have a good life while i could. my boyfriend would have everlasting grief. "my dad died, my mom threatens to kill herself, my brother has tried multiple times." gosh how guilty do i feel even mentioning anything is wrong. i understand i have a certain amount of accountability when it comes to sharing my emotions but how do i say anything in that situation?

i'm usually very good at hiding this feeling. i used to never let anyone even for a second know what i was going through. i have a twitter account where i sometimes indulge in the idea i have some feelings about things. it has been very concerning recently. i don't know if the feeling has been this strong in a very long time. every morning, i rise to start the day and i dread going out and doing things. i know its like hashtag dont wanna go to school but it may become an issue when the work becomes so suffocating that i can't bear to do it. i push through because my grades are one of the most important aspect of my being to my father. he is also spending a great deal of money on my education so i get it. whatever. i go through the day and count the hours until i can be in bed. once i'm in bed, i rot and rot and rot. i torment myself in every free moment, asking myself why i keep going. i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. i see my boyfriend and as much as he doesn't want to believe it, he makes me feel better. he is the person i can be emotionally vulnerable with, or at least who i feel comfortable enough with, so i show how i feel when we are together. he sees how tired i am. he's worried. he would be very upset if he knew what i was writing right now. i love him very much and i'm glad that in this life i have someone who showed me what love was like. maybe if heaven is real i'll watch over him like an angel and make sure his life is the best that it can be. i'd negate his suffering as much as i could. maybe i'd get a therapist for my mom. maybe i'd give my dad signs that its okay to feel things. i hope he'll cry at my funeral. i wonder if he'll bring his girlfriend and her daughter. i wonder what they'd think. he would probably make a joke about me starving myself to death. he tries his best to get it but i don't think he even gets that i have depression, clinically diagnosed. i dont think my mother knows that it isn't about her. she'd have more to talk about with her friends if i did it.

i wish i had some advice to give. like; "If you're ever struggling, make sure to ask for help so you don't end up like me". I wouldn't know how to ask for help if it hit me in the face. I used to, very often. it didn't go well. i've never even been hospitalized. one time the morning after my attempt my dad yelled at me and told me to stop being stupid. my mom, in one of my deepest pits, told me i need to eat breakfast and stop taking my meds at such a high dosage. i've been told recently that i should get help for the sake of my relationship, if not myself. i've been told to talk to someone about it. i don't want to talk to anyone about it. i dont need to make anyone worried and then when i get to the point where it does happen, leave them thinking they could have done more. they can't stop me.

i can't keep going through everyday wishing for it. crossing the street ever so slowly. even stopping in the middle. smoking so much maybe my lungs will never recover. pursuing a communications degree that i know i'll regret. i'm just an unlucky woman. i was born to kill myself. that was the plan. i wish that instead of the other baby, i was miscarried. that i never got the chance for people to love me. if no one cared then it would make things so much easier. alas, i care too much for those around me that its killing me slowly. i wish i was in a coma. i wish i was diagnosed with a disease that gives me 2 weeks to live. i wish that i had a way out. everytime i drive my care i imagine going 100 mph straight into a tree. then i remember how mad my dad would be that i messed up his car, and i drive safely. the thought of me taking a razor straight down my arm and letting myself bleed out in the shower, then i think about who would find me and everyone finding out. i wonder who would show up to my funeral.

my roommate just asked if my writing was going well. if she knew she'd have a panic attack and i dont need her to suffer. how much longer do i have to suffer so others don't have to. its my life and if i decide it's over for me, i should have the right to end it on my own terms. there is no free will, if there was i'd be dead a long time ago. because of everything that has lead up this point, i am simply a piece of seaweed in the ocean, drifting by waiting to be eaten.

i'm too tired to keep writing but i feel like this this isn't a sufficient enough note. if i could, i write a suicide letter book. that way at least i'll be able to say i published something. in a perfect world i would be a philosopher and have a phd and people would read and love my work. sadly, life is not perfect, not even good enough for me to want to be apart of it. thank you everyone for making it so hard to say goodbye.

[windsongs2]

Most people when they hear someone's been abused thinks it's physical and yes it can be physical but also could be emotional mental and financial plus other types of abuses

Mine was all of the above plus verbally abused

What I'm going to post is the verbal abuse, the emotional abuseand mental abuse I got from my ex husband.

Even though I make light of his threats in this post that I posted on Facebook.

It's very serious cuz it doesn't always start out with physical abuse and people need to realize that.

unfortunately I didn't and not only why I was abused this way, so was my child that I dearly love she was abused too in all ways.

I forgiven my abuser my ex for what he did to me and my child but I will never forget it.

I will never like the person and I will never tolerate that with anybody else in my life.

Here's the post:

"Laugh away.... number 4 always gets me a chuckle. Lol

Things the ex used to say ( and yes he meant them...and I did laugh out loud and/or told him how stupid it sounded)

1. If I die before you (no matter what age) you have stay unmarried to show respect for my family...... plus you have to go live with them. <<<<< gag

2, a woman can't drive trucks

3. No matter what i say you must always agree with it, in public and private <<< yeah, like I am a mindless empty headed person...lol

4. You had a boy instead of a girl cause you didn't think girl thoughts ( you all can stop laughing now..lol)

5. Women can't live without a man , they need to be told how things are done ( about 6 months before the divorce he said that one and o am doing fine without a man telling me..thank you very much)

6. Women aren't made to be bosses, they will fail. <<<< ok tell that to the women run companies..like Avon.

7. In public I would never put you down, I would wait till we are home. <<< in which I rapidly replied " like hell you will, you can forget that idea"

8. No matter what my mom will always be number one over you, you don't mean anything in my family <<<<< thats ok your family isn't worth me thinking about and your mom tried to kill me 3 times so I really think shes not going to be missed by me too

9. You need to start being a vietnamese person now your are married to me. <<< hmm.. white skin, blue eyes, red hair, a mind of my own I don't think that's going to work to well plus we live in the USA not Vietnam

10. Once your past 50 you have to be serious minded, can't party, be a stay at home type person <<< you haven't got a clue of what I am like do you?

11. I want a all white house... walls, furniture, carpet and floors. <<< you do know we have 1 year old right???

12. Your family hates you, they don't want you or love you, I am the only one that can love you. Don't listen to them . <<< he said that many times .

<<< so I promptly told him that it's his family that is the one that's screwed up and he can go to hwll with that notion.

13. God is nothing , I am above him.<<<< well I guess god will set him straight about that.

I don't know how one person could be so so screwed up.... but I didn't pay him any mind . And lucky for my daughter I was there to tell her that "whatever her father said do not to believe him and always ask me about it.""

One of my hashtags says fight back. This doesn't mean physically fight the person because more likely that person will kill you.

It means do what you must

what I did to protect me and my child is I told him what was what, not with my child is around because I didn't want to her to hear mother go off on her father.

Fight back means be strong stand against what they're trying to be with you, know that you are not the victim, know that you did not cause this abuser to be angry with you, know that you are better than them.

fight back!! Don't let the abuser get inside your head and change you and make you weak.

I didn't.

[progressivleythin]

well well well

i’m alive still. 22 soon :)

life is better mostly bc i stopped caring and really really stopped giving my dad the energy i did before.

me and my mom are closer than ever, same goes for my siblings and i, and my nephew.

my dads still a crazy person and since the last time i logged in, he’s caused much chaos but the rest of us are learning to work around his bipolar manic episodes, and the coke.

i gained weight, lost it, gained again and now i’ve been maintaining but im gonna get back to my LW soon.

i had back surgery, grew a whole three inches, im now 5’8” and the weight looks different on me

no boyfriend, broke up shortly after my last post i think, i also lost my friend group through that whole thing and got used by another dude luckily not physically. hashtag still a virgin

now im just here, prettier, more fit, i’ve improved my mental health but i’ll be happier when im actually working and able to go off on my own.

i feel sorry for younger me, and in my heart i hold her close and nurture her, she didn’t know anything, she still doesn’t but she knows her emotions and how to articulate them now.

i’m gonna be a sophomore in college, maybe just maybe i’ll be able to go on campus somewhere, originally i wanted NAU but my parent were still crazy back then and i was scared, they wouldn’t speak to me unless they were yelling at me when i was leaving. so i stayed and went to online college, but i’m older now and i want to be like the other people my age, i don’t like feeling so small around them. if i was an outcast before you can imagine now lol but it’s no pity party, just me promising i’ll do it.

my sister is still golden, i had a car then she sold hers and has had mine for a year, no plans on giving it back but still gives me shit about having no license, she also crashed it, broke the radio, puts her two gigantic dogs in it, and i’m sure she tells others i don’t even drive while ironically it’s been in her possession, she doesn’t even visit home to let me get a chance to drive. our relationship is as thin as string currently. i don’t bother messaging or texting her and her with me, some tiktoks, and after my surgery we were close.

i had two jobs while gone, both went to shit one i got covid, the other was family gossip. And now it’s just difficult to find a job, still no friends, i know people but i don’t reach out and neither do they

i don’t care about those things anymore, im just existing and my focus is being fit and thin, pretty and employed.

then i’ll move onto the other worries.

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

Vague Thoughts and Spoilers for The Mandalorian Chapter 24, "The Return" (*Actual Migraine Edition)

Moff: You killed my clones you bully! >:(

Me and my mom, sarcastically: Oh no! ... Anyways.

He doesn't speak Binary because he's biased against droids, no hard feelings R5. You're doing fantastic sweetie. (Hashtag JustSayNo to bumper-cars with Mouse Droids)

Me, coasting on the phase of 'Triptan High throughout the episode that makes me very chatty:

[Distractedly waves bye-bye at every death; especially the Disintegration Death By Big Ship]

My Foundling can beat up your Foundling AND create force-fields!

Ragnar gets Round 2 for taking the Creed because the first time didn't go so well. Good for him! [*Emotional whiplash*] D-did they tell him about his dad? :(

... Soooo what you sayin' is it's Clan DIN? Not Clan Djarin? (The fanfic writers gotta be STRESSING) [Mom: Guess it's the uh, patriarchal-ordering-way-thing some names are formatted.] Yeah, I guess I can buy it. I mean they "let" us carry on calling Grogu by "Baby Yoda" for a while before the name-drop.

[Mom: Grogu, put the frog down silly] Nah, snackies!

[hongslice]

[peterquillsofficialwife]

Okay, I may get hated for this, but it is my opinion.

Let’s just get straight to my point :

Peter Quill is overhated.

You may don’t think so, but honestly has everybody just forgotten how awesome he really is? When I went to the cinema back then to watch Guardians of the Galaxy, everybody adored him.

Well, he is funny, sarcastic, pretty hot (thanks to Chris Pratt) and an actual down to earth character!

You may see Black Widow and Hawkeye as down to earth as well, but honestly it’s not like everybody can fight like Black Widow, taking out hundreds with a gun and some tricks up her sleeve, while never really getting a scratch. Hawkeye can literally look the other way and still aim like a pro with his arrow. I don’t think any of you guys can just do that.

Don’t get me wrong here, I really like both of these characters but for me they aren’t down to earth.

So, to get back to my point.

Peter Jason Quill is a guy.

A guy who grew up in Missouri.

His mother died infront of him, because of Ego.

Yondu took him immediately afterwards and he teaches Peter how to fly a spaceship, stealing and how to use some blasters.

He’s just a guy. But what makes him special is that he brings the group together.

Even tho he doesn’t have a titanium suit, hasn’t gotten any super soldier serum and can’t mindcontrol people.

He can fight and he does know how to defend himself and all of the others, but at the end of the day he is just a guy from Missouri, that lost his mom at an early age.

And everybody blames him, that he punched Thanos, leading to the snap.

Are you all just not educated enough or do you just want to hate somebody ? Doctor Strange gave the time stone away.

For a fucking reason. It is supposed to happen.

The only reality that bet Thanos was the one, were Peter Quill got angry at Thanos.

And please, even if they got the Gauntlet completely off, he would have grabbed it within a second and disappear.

It’s nothing new that Peter freaks out after hearing of a death from his loved ones.

1. His mother

He couldn’t take her hand and the moment she died, he screamed the hell out of his lungs.

He ran away and cried.

(and may I add, in this scene it’s told that he literally wanted to save a frog, the other kids smushed and he got a beat up from the other kids when he told them to stop)

2. Ego

As Ego told Peter that he put that brain tumor inside his mother‘s head, he literally gets out of his mindcontrol and blasts his father to hell.

3. Gamora

When Nebula said that Gamora was killed by Thanos for the Soul Stone, he freaked out.

Of course he did.

I would have done the same to be honest.

The only real thing he has left, that he truly loves is gone.

He had a similar reaction with Ego.

So it’s nothing new!!!

Personally, I think that if Peter wasn’t there, Nebula would have done something similar.

But well. I just think that so many people that are fans of the MCU, forget that it’s supposed to happen and just because he freaked out, it doesn’t mean that he is a bad character.

He‘s just emotional and vulnerable.

I really do hope, that Love & Thunder, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 and the Holiday Special, reminds everyone that doesn’t like Quill for the events in infinity war finally likes him again.

Plus, he may be a half celestial, or was, but he gave that up, since he thinks it’s better to be like everybody else.

Think about it.

I hope I could kinda change your mind on Quill.

DISCLAIMER : I do not want to attack somebody with this post, my only intention is to get people to like this character again.

If you feel attacked in any way, please let me know. (Sorry for using this many hashtags, I just want this to be heard)

[lashton-is-my-drug]

Luke Hemmings “Starting Line”

Music Video Analysis

0:01 Slightly blurry camera in an empty street, car parked with its red flashers on (creates a tension, sense of warning). Luke is seen walking up the sidewalk where the camera then (0:26) meets up with and focuses on him (matches first lyric “in and out of focus”) and proceeds to stay with him (as he is the main subject of the video). Luke is walking at a regular speed wearing a white tank top with a red mesh shirt casually open, face is unshaven.

0:58 Luke turns the corner as the song picks up in tempo “I wake up every morning with the years ticking by” The song starts to intensify and Luke’s pace picks up speed to a faster walk.

1:06 “I feel the walls are closing, I’m running out of time” vocals intensifies, his pace matches the increase of intensity.

1:10 “I think I missed the gun at the starting line” Luke starts to run. (To signal the start of a race, a gun is often used to fire a shot to signal its start. This is symbolic of when Luke and the boys left Australia and everything started really happening fast. He was still a teenager figuring out who he was but doing it in the public eye whirlwind pressures of the music industry.) 

1:14 Luke takes his first leaping jump of this video, and runs for a few seconds. (Throughout the video, Luke is taking jumps at varying heights and speeds. This is symbolic of the wild nature of how his life has been, chasing the rockstar dreams and trying to navigate it as a human, but needing at times to call upon superhuman levels of ambition. The symbolism is of the ups and downs in life, both literally and metaphorically.)

1:29 “Tell me, am I broken, I can never leave” Luke looks behind himself as he returns to a walking pace. He’s moving forward but has reasons to keep looking back. (There’s a sense of something he needs to be running from, yet there’s been no physical embodiment of whatever it is. There’s something that is there but we don’t know what that something is. Does Luke know? The lyric this lines up with seems to hint there’s something to which he is cognizant, yet is concerned if it’s acceptable to acknowledge.)

1:35 Luke looks behind himself again.

1:40 “Oh is it lost on me, oh the things I believe” overhead behind him appears the words “Love Wins” (written in blue and red letters) on a theater marquee. #LoveWins was a hashtag used on twitter when gay marriage was legalized. Luke is from a Christian upbringing which teaches being gay is wrong. The timing of the lyric to when the marquee is shown seems poignant. Perhaps what he feels goes against (“is it lost on me”) what he was taught (“the things i believe”). Luke, his mom, and Ashton follow and have interacted with the Australian marriage equality twitter account (Michael and Calum don’t). Luke has tweeted in support of legalizing gay marriage in Australia (he’s not known to speak up about political issues, so this is particularly important to him.

x

The marquee is shown overhead behind him as he walks. so he doesn’t get to read it but it has a large presence.

1:45 “Moving on and on, so very bittersweet” Luke gestures with his hands, emphasizing this line

2:03 “I wake up every morning with the years ticking by” Luke flinging his arms around while turning his body so as to be singing into an outdoor cafe he’s passing by. There’s no interaction with any people. This ongoing theme of this song and his album has to do with a passing of time and looking back on his life, in the band and childhood. This also symbolizes how Luke felt during this time. He was literally singing the lyrics loudly at the other people but there was no interaction. Showing us that Luke felt alone and isolated. He was calling out but no one was paying him any mind.

2:09 “I’m missing all these memories, maybe they were never mine” Now he’s walking with a more openly chaotic emotion to him, arms stretching open and then throwing them over behind his head, the line is sung with gradual increase in intensity. (Is it possible that this is hinting that there’s reasons he feels like he wasn’t fully living as himself throughout the past? Was he going through motions, on a certain level that was matching what people were expecting of him, not of the way he would actually be?)

2:11 “I feel the walls are closing, I’m running out of time” literally does a bit of running, arms fully outstretched to the side. This line has such a sense of urgency. He sings this line even louder than the last time. Luke is also feeling pressure to find his true self. He spends the song reminiscing on the past but then comes back to the present in the chorus. And the pre chorus is that transition. Luke feels like he is running out of time to be the real him, running out of time to even find the real him.

2:13 “I think I missed the gun at the starting line” he’s yelling this line towards the street, camera stays on him, he’s getting louder for himself and yet there’s no one actually listening. 

2:14-2:17 closeup on his feet and he goes into a full on run

2:18-2:20 Luke’s running start and makes a grand high jump over a car! He keeps running and walking and still taking looks behind himself. He’s rushing forward yet there’s still something that has him on edge like it’s a presence of something that’s after him.

2:22 Luke looks behind him again

2:26 running fast on the sidewalk, camera angle is from behind him

2:28 Luke takes another jump

2:32

“Take me alive! Make me a liar!” as he’s yelling along the sidewalk! The phrase ‘take me alive’ means I’m not giving in without a fight.

“Take me alive! make me a liar!” sounds like he has been told to believe things about himself and repeat them even though they may not be true. He’s challenging those thoughts/people, he’s trying to say his actual truth and go against what he’s been taught. He’s challenging the forces who’ve told him these lies to believe/say.

Starting at 2:32, Luke still is turning his body as if to look back but he’s no longer looking back, only turning his body. (He's gained a bit of comfort with his past/his truth/himself that he was running from. This video seems to be showing him starting to accept and he’s no longer afraid.)

Now as he’s running and walking fast, he is showing bits of happiness! At 2:50, as he’s yelling the line “take me alive! make me a liar!” a huge smile of elation is brightening his face!

At 2:59, his body turns to the side but doesn’t turn his head. He’s no longer being afraid of whatever he’s felt has been behind him.

3:15, he is walking and running with a bit more conviction and openly swinging his arms 

3:20, he makes a HUGE running jump over the crosswalk at the intersection! Now he’s full-on running fast!!

At 3:28, the camera is in the street as Luke’s running from the sidewalk towards us.

3:32, before Luke reaches us, the camera swings around 180degrees to show a car (vintage style 70s) driving towards us.

3:40, camera turns around to a closeup shot of Luke singing the line “take me alive! make me a liar!” passionately

3:50 Luke sings the line directly up to the sky “don't look away till it's gone, till it's gone”, Luke putting in the hard work to look at what he might’ve been repressing or putting off accepting of himself. The ‘it’ is whatever is barring him from being his authentic self.

3:54 returns to singing forward “take me alive make me a liar…”

[3:40-3:54 I’ve also seen this scene as Luke finally fully accepting whatever it was he was running from. Which is the truth, his truth. It’s why Luke doesn’t look at the “Love Wins” on the marquee. He was showing us that for so long Luke was listening to everyone else and “what [he] believed in” and running away from the truth. Which is why he was so conscious of what was “chasing” him. And why Luke seems to look back longingly at what he is running from the whole video. And this scene we see Luke turn around looking nervous but ready to face the truth. His truth, about his past, and his present.]

3:56 camera then pans to the right then continues doing a 360 degree turn as its now overlooking the street, everything is a blur

4:14 camera stops as its overlooking the street facing a full street of cars on the other side of the intersection, everything is blurry

4:15 camera tilts down to the street below it

4:17 Camera focuses, Luke is then seen running towards the intersection at an even sprint (juxtaposed from how he was slowly walking along the sidewalk at the beginning of the video), cars are driving from the oncoming street, shirt blowing in the wind (he’s gone through all of this self-discovery and looking at his past that he’s now ready to face whatever is in front of him. He knows himself better.)

Starting Line was chosen as the first single because it encapsulated the many themes covered throughout Luke’s solo album When Facing The Things We Turn Away From.

Luke’s music video for Starting Line is his attempt at looking back over his past and processing it and working through parts of himself that he was able to more fully process while the world was in quarantine when COVID-19 happened.

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recommendations 2021: Week 16 | April 11th – April 17th

Welcome to week 16 of my recommendations, if you would like to be featured on a future list, I follow the hashtag #VelvetCardiganBucky, message me, tag me in your future works, or reblog this post and link to your story, one-shot, Masterlist, writing challenge, etc.

Be aware some if not most stories and writers on this list are meant to be consumed by an audience of those 18+. My blog is also an 18+ blog.

✨Page breaks are made @firefly-graphics✨

«Last Week

Week 17»

My Masterlist

My Fic Rec List of Mafia/Mob Bucky/Sebastian & Steve/Chris/Andy

Stuff I Posted This Week:

Lee Bodecker

One-Shots:

Rough Love by @ladyfallonavenger » Lee Bodecker x Reader — Lee wakes to his wife getting ready for the day. This work is inspired by the song Poker Face by Lady Gaga. | So very hot. 🥵

I Can’t Wait To Meet You by @not-a-great-writer » Lee Bodecker x Pregnant!Reader — Request: Lee doesn’t want to leave his pregnant wife’s side. | I summarized the requested one-shot up. It’s very fluffy and domestic and sweet. I say we petition for the user name to be changed not a great writer to a fantastic writer!

(Mini) Series:

*Give In 🎡 Pt.21 🎡 Pt.22 by @not-a-great-writer » Soft!Dark!Lee Bodecker x Shy!Reader — She didn’t think she was anything special. So when the intimidating Sheriff takes an interest in her, she can’t help but feel a little unsettled. Her boring life is about to get a little interesting. | Can I just say this story is just *chefs kiss*? Lee Bodecker? *chefs kiss* Reader? *chefs kiss* It’s just all so perfect and so is the smut.

Bucky Barnes

One-Shots:

I’m In The Water by @nsfwsebbie » Dark!Winter Soldier x Reader — He’s in the wind, and you’re in the water. Nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter. | Read the tags, this is extremely dirty as well as dark, but I honestly enjoyed it. Sabrina really blew my mind with this one.

Show A Little Gratitude by @thicccsimp » Bucky Barnes x Reader — You discover a new kink with Bucky after making a bad call during a mission. | Hot, Hot, Hot 🥵

Just Wondering by @infernal-fire » soft!dark!Buck Barnes x Reader — Reader is pregnant and has some mixed feelings. | This is sort of adorable, and pregnancy hormones really come out in this.

Sunday Kinda’ Love by @msmarvelwrites » Bucky Barnes x Reader — You weren’t sure when it happened, falling in love with Bucky Barnes. | Brontë is such an amazing writer who wrote something that made my heart squeal while the rest of me just thought it was really hot.

Don’t You by @pagesoflauren » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky sees you for the first time after breaking up with you. | Taylor Swift and Bucky Barnes what more could you ask for in life?

(Mini) Series:

Just Like Dad 💋 Pt.2 by @ladyfallonavenger » Bucky Barnes x Reader — The Reader loses Bucky in the snap and life presents a whole new challenge. | It’s got your angst and your fluff, everything you need for a perfect one-shot.

Sweet Dreams Pt.3 ✨ Pt.1 ✨ Pt.2 by @jedimastermelkor » Bucky Barnes x Reader; Mystery Avenger x Reader — Your daily routine involves waking up in the morning, going to work and sulking at night. But then you meet the man you’ve fantasized about for your entire life, Bucky Barnes. At the same time, you’ve caught someone else’s eye and his first step in winning you over is to cook you breakfast. But will you be welcoming of that person’s affections? | You can tell Bucky really likes the reader in this and the reader has a crush on Bucky. Now you add Peter who you know has a crush on the reader. It's sort of adorable. I highly recommend it. It will keep you at the edge of your seat and your jaw hitting the floor a couple of times along the way.

Stucky

(Mini) Series:

The Miracle Pt.3 ✨ Pt.1 ✨Pt.2 by @heavenhatesme » Soft!Dark!Stucky x Reader — When infertility threatens mankind with extinction and there hasn’t been a baby for almost 18 years, what happens when two certain super soldiers fall for the same woman and accidentally impregnate her? | Heed the tags folks. I want to call them soft!dark, but they are pretty dark, but it’s up to you the reader to decide. The smut in this is great, and the storyline just as good, it also pulls on your heartstrings.

Vampires Will Never Hurt You by @missgraceomalley » Steve Rogers x Darcy Lewis; Bucky Barnes x Darcy Lewis; Steve Rogers x Darcy Lewis x Bucky Barnes — Darcy's been hiding something and Steve can't pin what it is. Can the serum help him? Or will he be compelled away? (AO3)| I love stories that take you on twist and turns, I also love vampires, add in Damon Salvatore plus the two Super Soldiers? You make me very happy!

*Brooklyn Wars by @world-of-aus » Mob!Steve x Reader, Mob!Bucky x Reader / Eventual Mob!Stucky x Reader — Childhood friends pulled apart by a move and a rivalry between families, will a shared promise of ‘till the end of the line’ be enough to keep them together. Or will a deal struck up gone wrong, and an indecisiveness to choose who your heart loves be the ‘end of the line.’ | I spent my Saturday morning re-reading this and loving every part and wishing for more. @world-of-aus is such a fantastic writer that doesn’t get enough recognition in my list.

Steve Rogers

(Mini) Series:

*His Koala Bear by @kinanabinks » Dark!Steve Rogers x Innocent!Reader — You and steve have been best friends since you were 5. for the longest time, he has wanted so much more from you. and it’s getting harder for him to stop himself from taking it. | Prepare for the emotional roller coaster this story is going to take you on and to change your underwear or perhaps to take a cold shower, maybe both.

*Lipstick and Crayons 🖍 Pt.5 by @oneoftheprettynerds » Dark!Mob!Steve Rogers x Single Mom!Reader — Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob. | This story makes you feel like you are watching a Dark!Mob Romantic movie staring Steve Rogers. It’s just that good and I love it.

Ransom Drysdale

One-Shots:

Sugar by @chrissquares » Ransom Drysdale x Reader — Reader sees Ransom in his glasses for the first time. | Let’s be honest, I wouldn’t mind seeing Ransom in his glasses more often, especially if he looked like that.

(Mini) Series:

Stolen What’s Mine Pt.1 by @wanderinglunarnights » Ransom Drysdale x OFC!Charlotte Callahan — Charlotte and Ransom are up for the same promotion at the publishing house. She hates his handsome ass, especially when he steals the job as editor in chief out from under her nose. | Charlotte is sassy and she isn’t going to take any of Ransom’s nonsense, I love it! You can tell it’s going to be a good one!

Andy Barber

One-Shots:

I’ll Be Here by @candlefics » Andy Barber x Reader — Jacob grew up with you around. What happens when he’s convicted of murder, and his family falls apart? What will your relationship with Andy turn into? | I like this take on a show I have still yet to watch. It was sweet and emotional, a must read in my book.

(Mini) Series:

*Moment’s Silence Pt.3 🥞 Pt.1 🥞 Pt.2 by @syntheticavenger » Frank Adler x Reader; Andy Barber x Reader — The tumultuous relationship between twin brothers Frank and Andy takes a turn for the worse when Andy offers to wipe out Frank’s debt by asking for the one thing Andy wants that Frank has. | This story has me wanting to bite my nails in anticipation even though I can’t. So freaking good!

Misc.

Drabbles:

Good Behavior by @syntheticavenger » Dark!Andy Barber x Reader; Soft Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader — Andy’s special delivery arrives with a familiar face. | This is hot in a way you wouldn’t expect it to be, and I’m sort of wishing for a part 2.

One-Shots:

*Distractions by @rebelwrites » Jax Teller x Reader — I requested “Can you please put a shirt on?” | Let me just say this prompt was just so well written and it put a smile on my face. I would welcome Jax as a distraction any day, as long as he threw one of his signature panty dropping smiles my way.

Seal Team

One-Shot:

I’m Not Good Enough by @rebelwrites » Sonny Quinn x Reader — “So, we’re just going to ignore the fact that you drunk-dialed me to tell me you love me?” | This broke my heart than it fixed it. 💗

No Damsel In Distress by @rebelwrites » Clay Spenser x Reader — #3 and #13 for Clay Spenser. “Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!” And “How is my wife more badass than me?” | So hilarious and badass.

You Aren’t Allowed To Be Sick by @rebelwrites » Clay Spenser x Reader — “What do you mean you’re sick?! You’re my partner in crime!” | Clay can buy me flowers and take care of me any day.

[ingravinoveritas]

Hii, so, obviously I had to come to your blog after watching Michael on Gogglebox, because I always love your commentary!! Thoughts?

Hi, Anon. Well thank you so much for your kind words! I’m very glad that you enjoy my commentary.

I did indeed have the opportunity to watch Michael and AL’s appearance on Gogglebox (and for those who haven’t seen it, @invisibleicewands​ graciously uploaded it here). And it’s just...oof.

First of all, the whole show is a really weird concept--watching people watch TV. And the particular shows that they chose for Michael and AL and the other groupings were just...awkward? GBBO, Squid Game, a sex documentary, and that show about Liam, the little boy with cancer, which...I will get into more in a moment. So off the bat, they’re giving people some odd things to react to, but given the people taking part (like Graham Norton and Michelle Visage, Aisling Bea and Rob Delaney, Matt Lucas and his mom), you’d think there might be some interesting moments...right?

Well...yes and no. Because on the Michael and Anna side of things, the moments I found funny were probably not meant to be funny (“I feel like you shouldn't be able to say words if you don't know what they mean” followed by dead silence from AL) , and the moments of purposeful humor (”Welsh cake?” “Swedish chocolate”?) fell flat for me. Michael seemed to be getting into what they were watching, regardless of what it was--he was animated and jovial, which he is always is, so that wasn’t unexpected. But it seemed like AL was trying to mirror his energy and just...not being very successful. Her laughter seemed fake, and worse yet, so did her crying during the program about Liam.

Right away, I will say that watching a program about a child with cancer and his family is a difficult thing. But when you add to it the element of being watched while you are watching said program, it was just uncomfortable. Particularly so when it came to Anna. It truly seemed like she was searching for the ‘correct’ expression, and more focused on looking like she was feeling something than actually feeling something. I honestly felt like I could see a flashing neon sign in her head going, “Look sad, look sad,” which sharply contrasted with Michael (and everyone else) looking genuinely affected by it, and then it became even more obvious when we saw the shots of the other celebrities and literally no one else was reacting or exaggerating their expressions in that way.

I just...I’m so confused. This is AL’s chosen vocation (acting), and yet she somehow manages to be unconvincing even as herself. Michael gave her plenty to work with, and she didn’t really do anything with it, and their banter was just...off-kilter, as a result. In my opinion, the mark of a good actor is one who can pretend to feel an emotion and be completely convincing, because all we see is the emotion...but a bad actor is one who pretends to feel an emotion and all we see is the pretending. And of the two people sitting on that couch, I think we know who falls into which category.

Again, I will give both Michael and AL a little bit of a break, because I’m sure it can’t be easy to put your ‘relationship’ in front of cameras. Maybe they decided ahead of time to just play their Staged personas, to put that version of themselves on TV instead of however they actually are with each other. But it somehow made Georgia’s #Shebergs hashtag look even more forced, because it’s pushing a narrative. And while Michael looked comfortable because he was at home, in familiar surroundings (which isn’t necessarily the same thing as being comfortable because of who you’re with), AL seemed like she was painfully, obviously aware of the cameras being there the whole time. And it showed.

I just can’t help thinking of what a missed opportunity this was to have Michael and David on Gogglebox, especially when it came (pun mildly intended) to the sex documentary. There are few things I want more in this life than to see David Tennant’s reaction to that woman saying, “That is a heroically big cock.” Like, you have no idea. The excessively Scottish reaction I imagine coming from him is the best thing I’ve never heard, and I have a mighty need. PLEASE.

So yes, that is pretty much my commentary on Michael’s Gogglebox appearance. I hope it was what you were looking for, Anon. Thanks for writing in! x

[littlemessyjessi]

“Tae and Jae” from the BTS 8th Member Series “Untamed”: Mae Jae: Fake Social Media Post Collection:  The Gucci Twins Have A Day: Part One:  Fake Social Media + Imagine

Companion Imagine:  “Tae and Jae” from the BTS 8th Member Series “Untamed”: Mae Jae: Fake Social Media Post Collection:  The Gucci Twins Have A Day

Jae and Tae spend some much needed quality time together.   They go shopping, get food, visits a few places and end up with a cuddle.  It features fake social media posts from Jae and Tae, along with a particularly sweet one from someone who acts like he’s not actually a marshmallow on the inside. Hmm, wonder who that could be? Platonic pairings: #VX aka #guccitwins aka #taeandjae

Two bare feet padded down the hallway.

Green hair, still a little wet from the shower, clinging to a freckled face.

Jae cracked the door open and quietly creeped into the sleeping lump in the middle of the bed.

Pillow clutched to his chest and dark hair tousled everywhere.

She smiled gently as she pulled her phone up to snap a quick picture of a seemingly peaceful Taehyung.

She tucked the phone back into her hoodie before she climbed on the bed with him and began to lightly scratch his back.

He whined in his sleep, turning and trying to get her into his arms like he usually did.

"Wake up, Tae Tae." she said.

"No.." he whispered. "I'm sleeping.  Let me hold you."

"I can't." she laughed. "Because then we couldn't go on an adventure today."

Taehyung's eyes slowly opened to reveal the dark orbs.

"Adventure?" he said, voice deeper than usual with sleep.

She nodded and patted his head, "Yup.  It's all about you and me today.  Quality time.  So get up and get a shower.  I'm gonna finish getting ready."

A slow smile crawled across Taehyung's face until he was fully grinning at her.

"Really?" he asked.

She nodded, "Of course.   We haven't been out together, just us, in a while.  So get your butt in gear and let's go.  I got plans, baby bear."

His grin was massive as she slapped him on the butt and bounded from the bed.  

"Be ready in an hour." she said before returning to her room.

Less that five minutes later and her phone pinged with a notification.

She looked down to see that Taehyung had posted a blurry but clearly excited photo of himself.

She grinned before plugging in the blow dryer and beginning to fix her hair.  

She decided to be kind and sent him a text.

Jae: What car do you want to take today?

Tae:  I get to pick?!  The green lambo! The green lambo!

Jae: Ok, I'll meet you in the garage in at seven.

He responded with a series of excited emoji's that had her wheezing.

She's barely pulled on her shoes when her phone dinged again.

Apparently, not only was he ready but he'd already been to the garage and pulled the lambo out.

He'd posted a picture of the lime green car with the doors up and the caption.

' She let me pick the car today.  Now let's see if I can get her to let me drive it.  #VXBFF'

She shook her head at his usage of their hashtag.

She tucked her phone into the pocket of her black jeans and headed out into the main part of the dorms.

She placed a kiss to the top of Hobi's head as she passed him on the way to the door.

"Be back later, angel." she said, recieving a sleepy nod from him in response.

Jae made quick work of getting outside to see Taehyung's lean figure basically bouncing around in excitement.

She popped the trunk and tossed him the keys before he could ask the inevitable question and he looked as if he'd kill over right there.  

"Really?!" he chirped.

She nodded, "Yeah, knock yourself out."

He let out a sound that was inhuman and immediately dove into the car.

She grabbed her 'secret ingredients' from the garage that she'd craftily hidden the night before and almost lost it when she could see him taking a selfie in the driver's seat.

She knew it would make him happy.

Jae loved her cars and she didn't often let anyone else drive them.

So it was a rare occasion but that usually made it all the more special.

She slid into the passenger seat beside him and typing in an address on the GPS.

"Ready?" she asked and he nodded excitedly.

"Yep, where are we going?" he asked, positively glowing with happiness.

It did her good to see him like that.

Taehyung had one of those personalities full of evervescence.  

She hoped he never lost that.

"Here." she said nodding to the GPS. "Breakfast is first on our list for today."

Taehyung threw the car into gear and they sped off.

She couldn't help but laugh a little and snap a picture of his excited little smile and post it.

She knew how much Army liked when she they posted on social media and she'd long since responsible for sharing behind the scenes, domestic things over the years.

As the official 'pack mom' it was no shocker for her to take their picture at any given moment.

He was talking a mile a minute the whole ride and didn't let up when they finally came to a stop in front of the resteraunt.

She'd called the night before to get a reservation up on the balcony and to see about a special dish so they were whisked away immediately upon entering.

She smiled as she watched her young friend.

Taehyung had this childlook wonder about him at times that made her melt.

Ever the social butterfly, he chatted away with the staff while the young waiter nervously took their orders.

"When did you do this?" he asked, eyes as big as saucers when they brought the big breakfast dessert full of fresh strawberries, soft cake and whipped buttercream.  "You didn't even come home until after midnight."

"I made a few calls." Jae shrugged.   "I've been thinking we needed some time together for a bit.  I know we've both been busy and I know you've been sulking because I have been there to cuddle you at night."

"I know you've been working alot.  It's ok." he said seriously before popping a strawberry into his mouth.  "And when did you order this?"

"Last night.  It's a special item." she said. "You have to call ahead. But I know how you are and I figured you'd like it.  Do you?"

"I love it." he said, nearly inhaling three more at once.

"Good." she smiled.  "Eat up.  You'll need your energy.  I have a big day planned."

Taehyung melted in affection for the woman that was dubbed as his 'twin' by fans but had always been like an older sister to him.

They were extremely close now, even if at one point they were anything but.

Soon enough, the waiter was back with their other food and they spent a good deal of time laughing and enjoying their meal and the world began to wake up a little more.

Taehyung reached for his wallet and she smacked his hand.

He gasped, "Hey!"

"Today is my treat, Tae." she said pointing her finger at him seriously.

"No, I-" he tried to argue but she narrowed her eyes.

"Kim Taehyung you listen to your noona or I'll spank you." she teased and he couldn't help but grin.

"Jiminie, will be jealous when I tell him that." he smirked.

"Yeah, well, Jiminie probably needs a spanking.  The little brat." she laughed as they stood and she pressed a generous tip into the servers hand along with the money for the bill.  

They waved to the owner's who had been kind enough to let them in early that morning before clambering into the car and speeding away again.

"Where to now?" Taehyung asked.

The smirk that donned Jae's face told him everything he needed to know.

"Gucci Twins strike again?" she asked and he squealed in happiness.

He revved the lambo and took off to their favorite store.

They spent forever in the store, taking pictures with staff and a few Army that they ran into.

Jae found her a nice snakeskin purse before sneaking off to buy a couple of things for him while he was busy in the changing room.

She sat on the couch, offering her opinion every time he came out.

She smirked when she noticed the pair of boots and the shirt he was sporting, as she knew duplicates of them both were sitting in the store packaging beside her.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"Handsome as always." she said.

"About the clothes." he laughed.

"Very nice." she said.  "Maybe try it in a different color though."

"Really?" he asked looking at himself in the mirror.

He thought the black and gold print shirt looked nice on him.

"Maybe that blue one." she said gesturing to the same shirt in a different color not far from them.

Tae pursed his lips for a second before going back into the changing room.

He continued his fashion show for a while longer before eventually deciding on something different all together and checking out.

The two of them stopped for pictures with a few more people before they settled in the car again.

"What did you get?  You were done before I ever got out."  he asked.

She pulled the snakeskin bag out of the box and he cooed.

"Oooh, nice." he said.  "You'll wear that alot."

"I thought so." she said.

"What else did you get?" he said eyeing the other bags.

She grinned before pulling out the boots she'd seen him eyeing earlier and as well as the black and gold shirt.

"You told me to try another color and now you get it!" he accused.

"Check the size, genuis." she said and he peeked in before the cutest look came over his face.

"Awww, Jae." he said, a pout covering his features. "You didn't need to do that."

"I wanted to." she said. "Beside, I knew you were gonna look at them.  I saw you save it on your phone last week."

"But-"

"But nothing, respect your noona and accept the gift."

Taehyung clambered over the seat to smother her in wet kisses.

"Yah!" she laughed. "You're gonna ruin my makeup!"

"I don't care! I love you!" he said, all but pulling her into his lap.

"Kim Taehyung the both of us are too long legged for this." she giggled. "Now, calm yourself before I take the keys back."

It wasn't uncommon for the two of them to share clothes or even for Jae to buy him something- but it never failed to make him emotional when she did.

He sniffed a little and she carded a hand through his dark hair before fixing his hat again.

"Tae?" she asked. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"You just remind me of my grandma." he admitted, eyes prickling with tears.

Jae's head tilted and she pulled him back into her arms.

"That is the highest praise I've ever recieved." she said, placing a kiss to his temple.

He sniffled into her neck and she pulled him back so she could look into his eyes and run her thumbs over his cheeks to erase the tears.

"I wish I could've met her." she said. "We talked on the phone a couple of times when you'd call her.  And you've told me so much about her.  She sounded like a wonderful woman, Tae.  A comparision to her is the highest praise. I mean it. Thank you, honey."

Taehyung's lip quivered again and she pulled him back to her.

"Alright, let's get it together, babe.  We got lots more to do and I plan to feed you a lot today too.  In the name of your grandma who liked you chubby, prepare your belly."

He was laughing then, eyes sparkling and spirit lifted.

She patted his leg once more before he threw the car in gear and they sped off down the road towards a small rooftop jazz show and a local fried chicken joint. ---- Part Two - The Adventure Continues! ------

–

Hey loves! I hope you enjoy this! I’m trying out something new with writing for a while since I hit a major road block while I’m here in the hospital.  I hope you enjoy these!  If you’re interested in reading Jae’s full profile and the masterlist for this series you can find it HERE

I would love to know your thoughts and if you have any suggestions for other things to happen with Jae and the boys, just let me know!

I love you and I hope you have a good day, my loves.

Love,

Kenny

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——- Also, just a reminder that I am open for commissions! Additionally, the only tag list I have is my permanent tag list but if you ever want to be added all you have to do is just go to the ask box and request to be added! It’s that simple and you’re in!I love you all!