#and his little southern accent in the movie is so fucking hot

[illiana-mystery]

Hello Mr. Officer.

[palioom]

Taste of Sugar

summary: watching a movie with jack "whiskey" daniels, you become distracted by his fingers. one thing leads to the next.

pairing: jack "whiskey" daniels x f!reader word count: 3.7k warnings: 18+ content; no use of y/n (but a lot of nicknames); some swearing, unprotected p in v, fingering, some biting

• masterlist •

Being in a relationship with Jack was… something. He was sweet and loving but he was also flirtatious and dirty and wouldn’t keep his hands off of her even just for a little while when they were out.

It was especially strange as she was new to this whole relationship thing.

Jack knew, which was why he tried to tame himself, to lay off his usual tactics a little. 

Take it slow, make her feel comfortable, safe.

Though he wanted nothing more than to fuck her, in all honesty.

Truthfully, he had thought she was joking when she confessed she was a virgin. It had taken three attempts to convince him until he had realized that she was 100% serious. 

Then, he felt like an ass.

How was a woman who looked this stunning still a virgin? He had barely believed her when she said this was only her second actual attempt at a relationship.

But that?

Damn.

“C’mon, darling, you’re kiddin’, right?” Is what he said, playful smile on his lips, a hand on her waist. “You? Never.”

“Well, but I am, Jack.” She had answered, a little embarrassed, really.

So… he had changed his approach.

And she was glad for it. Really glad.

Though some days, when he had drunk a little too much bourbon, she enjoyed it when he forgot just momentarily.

Grabbing her hips with a bruising grip, kissing and biting her neck until purple marks bloomed like flowers on her skin and pushing his tongue into her mouth all while his noticeable, growing dick was grinding against her front.

Yeah, some days she really just wanted to take things further, but she was just so damn nervous.

Jack seemed experienced as hell, while all she knew was to use her own fingers on herself.

Maybe a toy here and there.

And even with that she was sure she could do better.

He definitely would be better. 

His fingers were so long and thick, she often found herself thinking about what they’d feel like inside of her. 

How just two of them could stretch her out. 

What the rough pads would feel like on her clit, drawing circles into it. 

How they’d pump in and out of her slowly, all the way to the knuckle, over and over again.

She squirmed where she sat in his lap at the thought of it, looking at his huge, veiny hand, splayed out on her thigh.

If he noticed, he didn’t show it.

Thank God, because she felt herself growing wet already.

They were watching a movie - or trying to, in her case - and he had insisted on having her sit in his lap, a blanket draped loosely over them, her back pressed against his chest.

It had started out fine, with her actually concentrating on the awful movie they had picked together.

Somewhere halfway through, her mind had wandered, though, when she felt his warm breath fan over her neck, felt his moustache tickle her there sometimes, felt how his strong arms were wrapped around her middle.

She knew she was a goner when she imagined him fucking her from behind, mouth on her neck and an arm around her waist.

And now, with him gripping her thigh like he did, her eyes glued to his fingers? 

Yep, she was wholly gone. Beyond saving.

“You still watchin’ the movie, sugar?” He whispered against her ear in that thick, southern accent, taking her by surprise. “Or did you find somethin’ else more interestin’?”

Her heart skipped a beat, his moustache tickling her ear, his breath hot. As if to emphasize what he meant, his hand squeezed her clothed thigh harder, fingers digging into the fabric of her dark pants.

“I don’t know what you mean, Jack.” Of course she knew, and he knew that she knew. She did a horrible job at sounding believable.

She also knew that.

“Really? You don’t?” Jack’s voice was low, raspy even as he spoke. His lips ghosted over the shell of her ear still, and the arm around her waist tightened. “S’ that why you’ve been grindin’ that ass against me for the past twenty minutes, sweetheart?”

Her breath caught in her throat, almost choking on it as she stared straight ahead. Of course she hadn’t been as subtle as she believed herself to be.

Fucking idiot.

When she didn’t answer, he pressed a kiss against the crook of her neck, his hand that had been on her thigh removing the blanket now.

It was an unspoken question.

Do you want to continue this?

Did she want to continue this? She wanted him, but was she really ready yet?

According to the growing wetness between her legs, yes.

Her eyes found his fingers again as his hand returned to her thigh, trailing up and down the outside now.

“Relax, doll.” He said, voice soothing, calming. “Breathe, tell me what’s been goin’ through that pretty head of yours.”

A shaky breath left her, licking her lips, trying to calm down.

Jack probably felt how nervous she was, but this was far from the first time they’d been in this situation.

His hand wandered higher on her thigh, moving to the inside and stopping not too far from where she could already feel herself soak her underwear

He wasn’t going to continue unless she gave him permission. 

“Been thinking about… your fingers.” She admitted finally, quietly,  and she could swear his lips curled just slightly against her neck, pressing another kiss there.

His hand remained where it was.

Yes, they had been in this situation before, but never had she indulged him before.

“What about them, doll?” A hundred things went through his head at the admission, but he could guess what she had been thinking about them.

He needed to hear it from her, though.

“I thought about them inside of me.” She breathed out, slightly rushing her words. A faint blush painted her cheeks pink, making her feel hot as her hips involuntarily moved. “How they’d feel.”

She could feel him against her lower back now as he slightly shifted underneath her. A small, rough chuckle left him, hot against her neck.

“Did ya?” His hand on her thigh crept higher, her eyes following it as he moved it, close, closer to where she needed him now. Breath hitching in her throat.

Yeah, she wanted him.

“Wanna find out what that feels like, sugar?” His fingers landed on the button of her jeans, waiting for her answer.

Fuck.

She nodded, breaths shallow and not trusting herself to actually speak right now.

A dizzy feeling overcame her, her body feeling hot.

The movie was entirely forgotten now, just noise in the background.

Jack shifted so he could easily look over her shoulder, opening the button with skilled fingers before moving down to the zipper. Out of the corner of his eyes he watched with a smirk just how transfixed she was on his hand, practically drooling as her eyes became dark.

“Spread your legs, sweetheart.” 

He didn’t have to tell her twice, spreading them over his, then watching as he spread his own further, opening her up more.

Quickly her attention was back on his hand, watching as it disappeared inside her pants, feeling his fingers delve between her folds, brushing against her already swollen clit.

Her hips jerked into his touch, a loud gasp leaving her which made him chuckle into her ear again. One of her hands gripped his wrist, to ground herself somehow, not to tear him away.

“Sweetheart, you really got this wet just from thinkin’ ‘bout my fingers?”

His voice sent a shiver down her spine.

He applied light pressure to his movements, just small circles as he listened to her breath hitch, watched how she bit her lip so no more noises would spill out, how her eyes were just zeroed in on the small movements she couldn’t even really see.

She was goddamn adorable like this.

“Jack-”

She was surprised by how high her voice sounded, how desperate it was as warmth spread through her body, outwards from where his fingers languidly applied pressure. 

It felt so goddamn good, that familiar feeling of lust and desire and that pressure settling deep in her stomach, her hips moving against his hand to chase more friction.

How was he getting her this close already?

Jack enjoyed seeing her fall apart just from one finger, kissing her neck, wandering up to her ear and gently biting the earlobe. The noises she made were like music to his ears, and he just needed more. 

Needed to feel her clench around his fingers.

“Take off your pants, sweetheart.” He said, removing his hand from her, chuckling at her small noise of protest.

It took a moment for the words to register in her brain, but when they did, she quickly did as told, feeling how he helped hold her hips up to get the dark fabric off of her legs.

He couldn’t stop himself from squeezing her ass as he did, laughing at the moan that slipped past her lips.

“Don’t laugh.” She tried to complain but it didn’t sound very convincing, more of a small whine as she settled in his lap again, turning her head to look at him.

“I apologize, baby.” He chuckled, kissing the underside of her jaw while his hands hooked into the waistband of her panties, pulling them down. “Couldn’t help myself…”

A moan bubbled in her throat when she felt his hand on her again, this time seeing how his fingers moved between her folds. His other hand came up to squeeze her breast through her shirt, making her whine and bite her lip.

It all felt too good almost.

“I want them inside me, Jack.” She said, her hand returning to his wrist and trying to move it. “Please.”

Any other day, any other moment, he would have teased her more, but she was desperate, pleading him so nicely. 

He could swear he could feel her soak through his jeans.

And he wanted this, too.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, you’ll get what you want.”

Gathering her wetness, he moved his fingers deeper, finding her entrance and slowly, so slowly pushing one finger inside. He could feel how she clenched around it, her hips squirming as she gasped.

Even just one finger was a stretch, taking just a moment to let her head fall back and look up to the ceiling to gather herself and not lose composure immediately. 

But her eyes were back on his hand the moment he began to push his finger in and out of her, his thumb hovering over her clit but not touching it.

Jack smiled against her neck as he watched, too.

Seeing his fingers coated in her, glistening in the low lights, it took all of him to just not add another and another right away. To not throw her onto the sofa and fuck her into it until she screamed his name so much she forgot her own.

“Damn, you’re tight.” He said and he could feel how she tightened around him more.

Just this little bit of him already got the heat building up again, making her head feel foggy.

But she wanted more, and almost as if he understood from how she moved in his lap, how she moaned, he eased in another finger, making her hips stutter momentarily.

“Jesus, Jack.” She breathed quietly, voice heavy with lust. 

When he began moving his fingers again, the wet sounds of them obscene but so hot to her, she felt like she was going to fall apart right then and there.

He knew exactly just how he had to move them, making her squirm so much he wrapped his free arm around her waist again as she arched her back. 

Close, closer, closer.

It felt so much more intense already, whimpering and moaning without shame as he kept pumping his fingers.

“‘Atta girl.” He rasped, fingers curling against that spot inside of her.

Just a little more.

“C’mon sugar, show me how good ya look coming on my fingers.”

Then, he pressed his thumb to her clit.

And she was gone.

Crying out his name as that pressure inside her burst, a string of expletives mixed into it, her legs shook, still spread open over his own and her nails dug into his skin.

One wave after the other crashed into her, washing over her and reaching every tiny crevice in her body as he fucked her through her orgasm.

Jack smiled all the while, eyes going from where his now soaked fingers were buried deep inside of her back to her face, watching the bliss, how she bit her lip, how her cheeks and neck were flushed dark.

His cock twitched at the sight and he became painfully aware of the effect she had on him.

Only once she moved her hips away from him, on the brink of becoming overstimulated, did he pull his fingers out of her. 

He really had lost track of himself there, but he was sure she hadn’t minded, judging by her face.

Her half lidded gaze followed his hand as he brought it up to his mouth, sucking on his fingers, tasting her.

“Taste goddamn delicious, sweetheart.” He chuckled, his voice deep.

It made her brain stop, mouth slightly open as she still came down from her high.

“God, fuck me.” She whispered, twisting her body so she could kiss him.

He used the momentum to lay her down on the sofa, lips still attached to hers as she groaned, tasting herself on his tongue. It was strange but she liked it, her hips grinding up against him.

“There’s nothing I’d rather do right now, doll.” Jack grinned, hands moving to hike up her shirt and push down her bra, exposing her breasts.

The sight of her let his patience evaporate and he had half a mind to remember this was her first time. 

Even if she didn’t seem to care that he was going to fuck her on the sofa.

Licking his lips, he pinched one of her nipples, making her moan and arch into the touch.

“D’you still want this, doll?” His voice was dripping in lust still, but he genuinely cared. “You know, once I’m buried inside that tight pussy of yours I’m not sure I can stop.”

She groaned at his words, hands moving to undo his belt, then the button of his dark blue jeans. 

“Jack, fuck me.”

A cocky grin broke on his face and she groaned again, in annoyance this time. She wanted to roll her eyes but only managed to close them when his lips attached to her neck, sucking a purple bruise into it.

He helped her to take off his pants, before her hands went to pull the white shirt over his head, leaving him only in his underwear.

The sight made her drool almost, pressure already building back up in her abdomen, while also feeling a little nervous.

She’d seen this before, just not when he was fucking hard.

“Like what you see?” He grinned, pulling her shirt over her head, fingers moving to unclasp her bra. Both items landed in a pile behind the sofa somewhere.

She couldn’t care less.

“C’mon, doll, why don’t ya take a peek?”

She swallowed hard, looking up at him before her eyes wandered down again, as did her hands. 

“I fucking hate your cocky attitude, Jack.” She mumbled under her breath, hooking her fingers under the waistband of his briefs and pulling them down.

“Something tells me you don’t, doll.”

It won’t fit. 

Somehow that was her first thought seeing it, knowing it was just some shit trope pornos used.

But seeing his cock spring free, she doubted if it was just a stupid porn trope.

It was thick, leaking precum already and looked fucking heavy.

Jack could basically read the thoughts running through her mind, all in her eyes. 

“Relax.” He said, voice close to her ear as he kissed her neck, his fingers already pushing inside her again, making her whimper. “Gonna get you all ready for me, don’t worry, sweetheart.”

Two fingers easily fit, so he quickly added a third after a few pumps, the girth making her squirm, nails digging into his skin.

She reminded herself to breathe, to try and relax and enjoy this.

It was too much, but at the same time not enough, her mind running wild, imagining what his dick must feel like if this was only his fingers.

“Fuck, I want you, Jack.” She moaned, legs opening further.

“Just a little more-”

“Jack, I fucking need you.” She cut him off, squeezing around him.

Lust glowing white-hot deep in her stomach.

He removed his fingers with a deep sigh, raising a brow at her. “Don’t get bossy with me now, doll.”

It made her chuckle, that empty threat of his.

She knew he liked it, deep down.

Shifting above her, he took himself in one hand, giving his cock a few pumps before letting the head glide through her folds.

All before pushing inside her with one fluid motion, while looking into her eyes, savouring every tiny movement of her face.

She couldn’t suppress the groan coming from deep inside her, hearing him moan as he bottomed out and stilled.

What a pretty sound.

It was bigger than his fingers, stinging as she adjusted but he had done well in preparing her, quickly finding herself wanting more again as she eased around him.

Rolling her hips, he smirked, holding back just a moment longer.

“Gettin’ impatient, sugar?” He asked, teasing. One hand rested on her hip, thumb rubbing circles into her skin.

“Shut up, Jack.”

She pulled him down into a kiss, and he groaned into her mouth when he finally moved his hips, pulling almost all the way out until he thrust back in again.

Quickly he set a steady but harsh rhythm, feeling how she joined in, rolling her hips to meet his with every snap.

His hand roamed up her side, groping one breast roughly, pinching and rolling the hard nipple. 

When she moaned at the sensation, he slipped his tongue into her mouth, feeling how she clenched around him.

She was getting closer fast, his mouth on hers, his warm body on her and his cock inside her too much at once, still feeling her previous orgasm deep in her bones as he continued his pace.

Every drag of his cock inside her filled her so perfectly, feeling full to the brim with just him alone. 

The thought made her head spin.

Not that there was much going on there at the moment anyways, the only thing she could think about being his cock and how she wanted him inside her again even though he hadn’t even left yet.

“Looking gorgeous with my cock inside you, sugar.” He rasped, breath laboured as he parted from her to look down to where he was driving in and out of her. 

His movements were faltering already, signalling he was close.

Just like her.

“‘Atta girl, pretty pussy takin’ this cock so well, huh?”

His words only made the pressure build inside her, his voice making its way through the fog in her head. 

She felt incapable of forming a single word so she just mindlessly nodded.

“Look so pretty, all cockdrunk, sweetheart.” 

He was rambling now, mouth on her neck, teeth leaving faint marks.

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her head craning so he had easier access.

“Squeezin’ me so tight, god damnit.”

Just a little more. 

“Jack-”

Angling her hips, she tried to get more friction on her clit and he seemed to understand, smirking against her neck.

“C’mon, want to feel you cum on my cock, sweetheart, go ahead.” Jack’s voice was right in her ear suddenly, his hand leaving her breast to move between them. “Say my name again, baby.”

He had barely applied any pressure when her second orgasm of the night crashed into her, squeezing him so tightly his own hips stuttered as he groaned, almost as if he was in pain.

His name left her lips over and over, like a prayer almost as the waves rolled over her, his fingers still on her clit and fucking her through it.

Not long after, he followed, so lost in the feeling he forgot to pull out, stilling deep inside her as he groaned her name.

When he collapsed on top of her, she let him, even as all air was pushed out of her lungs.

In a way, it was a comforting feeling, him pressing her into the sofa and she stroked his hair as she looked up at the ceiling.

That was so much better than anything she could have imagined.

“Whoo.” Jack said after a while, pushing himself up, the softest groan slipping past his lips when he pulled out of her.

She felt empty now. A strange feeling.

His eyes raked over her body, settling on her pussy, seeing his cum leaking out. 

That was almost enough to get him hard again, chuckling. He decided to just leave it uncommented for today.

“I don’t know about you, sweetheart, but I haven’t had a better ride in all of my life.” He said, rubbing her thigh as she just laid there, looking back at him. “How d’you feel, sugar?”

She rolled her eyes before smiling at him, feeling warm as his eyes kept going back to her middle.

“You sure are talented, cowboy.” She giggled, nudging him with her foot. “You’ve proven to me you can ride after all.”

There was a moment of comfortable silence between them.

“Shower?” 

She broke the silence, closing her legs and sitting up slowly, feeling a little sore.

The way his eyes twinkled and the corner of his lips curled upwards didn’t go unnoticed by her.

“Just shower, Jack.”

He chuckled through his nose, raising his hand in mock surrender.

“‘Course, darlin’. Just a shower.”

He got up, picking her up and she yelped, before he carried her up the stairs.

She couldn’t help the giggle leaving her.

With Jack Daniels, it obviously wasn’t just a shower.

Not that she would ever complain.

[joelscruff]

this is by no means a request (i know your requests are closed) but with the talk of fic replacing dick (lmao) it made me think about reader having had a couple of disappointing experiences with sex. like maybe you’ve never had an orgasm by a man or during sex. so you’re just been living your life trying to come to terms with the fact that sex really isn’t like the movies or that you’ll never experience anything better than what you can do by your own hand.

this is by no means a request (i know your requests are closed) but with the talk of fic replacing dick it made me think about reader having had a couple of disappointing experiences with sex. like maybe you’ve never had an orgasm by a man or during sex. so you’re just been living your life trying to come to terms with the fact that sex really isn’t like the movies or that you’ll never experience anything better than what you can do by your own hand. then!! enter joel 😏 maybe reader works with him/adjacent to him somehow? you works at the accounting firm his contracting company uses idk. so you don’t see him all the time but you do know each other. he’s dropping by to go over some financial stuff (maybe a client’s behind on their payments). it’s friday. like the good boss he is joel likes to take his crew out for drinks on fridays. he asks you to come 😏 he’s nice, a little flirty even, but you figure it’s just his southern charm. but fuck it. you like joel (and he’s obviously not bad looking) why not? you end up talking to joel the whole night. now you really like joel, and you can’t help but notice the way his biceps strain against his t-shirt, how good he smells, how his accent curls around each word as he talks. one thing leads to another and suddenly he’s driving you both back to your place. things get hot and heavy fast, but joel quickly realizes there’s something bothering you. you don’t want to say. don’t want to insult him or sound stupid but he coaxes it out of you. no man has ever made you come before. why do you feel embarrassed? it’s not like it’s your fault, but still you do. joel only smirks at you. “oh honey–“ his voice full of pity, “let us fix that shall we?”

how i feel after reading that

[conradrasputin]

zacchioverse masterpost for my reference, descriptions via wonderful @zappedbyzabka

Greg Tolan: Total bitch. Thinks he’s a queen and owns the world. Likes muscle but likes big cocks more. His ass gets just a little fatter than the others because he’s a gym bunny. He’s a bitch but a bitch that doesn’t feel like he’s being one. He’s a power bottom and likes getting called mommy and kicking balls. But he also likes getting shoved down and fucked hard, be made to beg. I have a whole world written for him (which includes Maz, whom we’ll get to)

Scott McCall: He’s very baby. Very squeaky and soft but still a brat. He’s a brat but even then it’s very mild—like he’s trying to be but is just too sweet. Especially with his Daddy.

He loves criminals and “bad” guys and rough men. He’s the type to wear pigtails and a sundress hoping to get fucked up in an alley and leave dripping cum. But in reality he needs a good Daddy to take care of him

Ruben: Gangbang whore. Gets gangbanged nightly and his boypussy is always red. Crazy, crazy ass sweetheart. Femme fatale potential. He’s clearly in love with his buddy Nick in the movie (lays out on a hotel bed with his arms above his head and smiling at him. Some point out one shot of Nick with his lame ass ponytail looks like Silver from behind, which fed my silverlaw brainrot) but was in a het relationship at the start. He’s a locker room fleshlight and likes getting thrown around.

Jeffery: Similar to Greg, could be a twin. He’s a thief and wears tight, tight jeans (Oh I gotta add that to my Billy ass comp) and lies. His father even snitches on him. Working on him in my brain—he’s a lot softer for the men in bed and almost exclusively gets in bed with older men. Some married.

Greg Larsen: Slutty milf cop that practically gets fucked on a playground. He’s plump and whorish. The movie he’s in is called PYTHON for gods sake. He turns coo coo for cocoa puffs in the second.

Randy: Southern belle debutante. I have a soft spot for him and his cute accent. He gets tugged around like a doll by C Thomas in it and gives off bar slut vibes👌 I need to write him oml. I need to build

Kimmy Fischer: Girl boy. Official boypussy wet cunt haver. Official “i would let my daddy fuck me” thinker. Gets fucked by crewmen and brothers. Gets fucked by dockworkers and fishermen. He’s a complete honey and pouts a lot. He needs to be held then have his guts knocked out of place by a big cock.

Chas Osborne: Itsy bitsy teeny weeny red bikini wearer. Multiple sugar daddies that don’t know about each other. He tries to be a “nice” mean girl but it just doesn’t work. He has good control over his temper for the most part. His feelings get hurt easily but he gets revenge via getting bigger men to target who hurt him and sitting back with a smile (then rewarding them by fluttering his lashes and offering up his holes for use.) He’s straight up gay💀 Boy could have a girl kissing him and he’d just pull back and ask how her dad and brother are doing. Has given teachers and judges handjobs for a better grade. His relationship with his parents hasn’t been decided on yet. Likes pink and red a lot. Would wear leopard print lingerie. Has a fuzzy rug in his bedroom and lays on it while he twirls his hair and thinks about being on tv.

Haddix: Usually paired with Scott. You’ve seen him, he’s hot. He’s got a sailor mouth. Not afraid to call people whores and 100% was a strip club goer, though he gets drained socially easily. Big ole dick like all his characters, especially girthy though.

Chris NINY: He’s a theater boy. Does plays and such. Likes art galleries and wine. He kissed his loser best friend and was rejected. He’s a soft but firm top. His slapping is weak and his wording is kind until he really gets into the mood and knows someone can take it. He’s just an over all kind and classy guy that doesn’t get enough pussy. Hair is amazing. Usually paired with Ruben, who’s a handful but so is that ass, so it’s okay.

Maz: personal fave. CONFIRMED big cock (one of the lines was “Boy, Maz has a big cock!”) Service top. mommy lover. He’s Greg’s puppy with a giant dick and balls. Cries and gets his meat and face used as a seat often but has no complaints besides the cock ring Greg likes to make him wear until he has his forehead pressed to the floor begging for mommy to let him cum inside—to let him cum at all. He’s very exasperated but always ends up doing what pleases the wifeu and not regretting it (mostly). He’s also a daddy. not nearly as often as he’s a beloved human dildo, but frequently because Greg likes getting overpowered by him and fucked brainless. He knows how to pound a cunt good and CAN make someone shout Daddy so loud the neighbors get concerned. Baseball nuts drive me nuts yada yada.

Billy Gambini: I like to make him Daniel’s twin sometimes because I like them both just accepting that they’ll have to share the blond because the cali coochie is THAT good. Does not give a shit that Johnny bullied Daniel because he also bullied Daniel (a little more kindly though.)

Expressive and purposely tries to make his voice deeper. Little bit of hair above his lip that needs to get wet with pussy juice. Coiled hair that need to get tugged on. After all he’s been through, he just wants to drive around in his car and get his dick sucked. Usually paired with Older Johnny and Scott.

Frank: I LOVE HIM. He’s a horny pervert and might just do anything for a piece of ass. Thirsts after escorts and tries to get one multiple times. He’s got a greasy curly mullet and strong accent. Would buy worn thongs and panties and steal them. He’s just really fucking horny💀Usually paired with Greg because they go at it like rabbits. Would enjoy getting stepped on by someone in heels.

Honorable mention: KK3 Ralph is a little pudgy and it made me think of him gaining weight from Johnny’s breast milk🙈 His dick gets fatter too. But in general his puffy, cute face needs to get squeezed by Johnny’s thighs. He deserves boycunt especially after what he went though lol

[iguessthisismygoodreadslol]

Here are my thoughts on The Decoy Girlfriend by Lillie Vale! (Potential spoilers?)

•Overall ranking: 9/10

•Would I recommend it? Yes! (Its a good, short rom com with a happy ending, and a decent amount of spice.)

•Thoughts & Opinions:

I loved Taft as a MMC. He's a golden retriever bf at heart, and he genuinely cares so much about the people around him.

I grew to like Freya, but I can't help but feel like she falls into the category of "all of her problems got fixed once a man came into her life" a little bit. (She grew a backbone by the end, thank God, but she seemed like she was drowning in self-pity for a decent part of the book.) *For the record, she does have her own independent moments throughout the story, but my point still stands.

The cover of the book being an Easter egg is really funny to me. I loved that detail.

The majority of this book's plot could have been avoided if anybody had a shred of communication skills. (Or ya know... set boundaries? The fuck?)

I have no clue how I feel about Mandi as a character? She seems like a good person, but essentially blackmailing somebody to get them to pretend to be you for a month is... something. (There was basically no other reasoning given besides needing a break, which felt kinda dumb?)

The line "sweet baby Jesus" in a bit of a southern accent had me CACKLING (there were a lot of good one liners in this book, I won't lie.)

The sex scenes in this book were well written (Albeit not mind blowing), a solid 7/10 overall.

A gripe I have with this book is that it has the trope of Taft pulling away from Freya for the first half/three quarters of the book "for her own good" without consulting her?? I get it bud, you're insecure, but come on man. (This is while he's simultaneously being really hot/cold with her.)

Including bits about Freya's dad falling in love again and taking care of himself better after losing his wife/Freya's mom was a really sweet detail. I enjoyed that a lot.

The 2nd to last chapter argument/almost break up had me stressed!!!

The ending was cute and pretty well wrapped up, but I feel like it was too open ended (for my liking, at least.) Like, show me Taft's red carpet with Freya. Give me Taft being front row at Freya's book signing. Hell, give me Taft starring in the movie adaptation of Freya's book, HELLO? There were so many better ways to wrap up the book, and the author chose none of them...

Points for the tension building really well throughout the book, especially with how flirty Taft was from the beginning.

[rejaytionships]

4, 9 and 10 for the meta selfship game!! For whoever you’re thinking about!! :D

Hope you’re doing well!! <33

hiii ezra! ty i'm doing great ^^ hoping all is well for you too

i'll answer about bill pokemon for these~

4. who was your first favorite character when you initially got into your f/o’s source content? was it your f/o from the very beginning?

OK SO i first started playing pokemon when i was like... 9? i had gotten a copy of pkmn platinum bc a family friend found a ds cartridge with a torn off label on the sidewalk randomly. and my first fave was technically barry! idk what it was but i was like hehe barry time :3 (although roark was a close second, which is ironic given he's my buddy now LOL) i technically knew bill in college when i finally had a chance to play more than just platinum (which i lost that cartridge ages ago. F) but i didn't know him until i watched my bf play let's go pikachu. whatever fucking juice they put in that cutscene was NUTS because both i and my boyfriend saw him and were like WHY IS HE HOT??? that was in like. feb 2022? bill's actually the f/o that convinced me to make a selfship sideblog so like wahoo! it's. really funny that bill sparked me really entering the selfship community despite me having selfshipped since i was like 6 in terms of the kanto games though... yeah he was probably my first kanto-appearing crush LOL (distinguishing that bc he's not kantonian he's from johto <3)

9. if your f/o has been represented in more than one way (i.e. in a book AND a movie, in a movie and then recasted for a reboot later, etc.), which version of them is your favorite?

ok so bill appears in like... the kanto games (rgb, frlg, lgpe), the johto games (gsc, hgss), the anime (like once in indigo league), and in the manga (pokespe + a few others) the one that made me fall in love with him was the lgpe version, BUT i will say i love that crystal and frlg gave us more lore ON bill. crystal gave us lore on his dad that he doesn't like (for being a deadbeat iirc) and frlg has the whole fact checker where i learn he is a fellow lactose intolerant sdfhskj he doesn't really do much in any of his media except pokespe to my knowledge, and from what bits and bobs i know i think he's pretty neat (i love the southern accent that is also present in the games a bit but goes HARDER in the manga) and also i love the idea of him actually having like. more plot appearance than just one time (also what he and daisy kind of have going on seems a little cute. i won't even lie to myself) fun fact did you know in one manga his wife literally turned into mew. more notably that he had a wife in the first place (and no it wasn't me. i know i'm shocked as well)

10. if you could change one thing about your f/o’s source content, would you? what would you change?

ok. i would probably make him more involved maybe i'm just thinking wishfully bc of the manga knowledge i have but in the johto games (or kanto) i wish he had more to do with trying to stop the resurrection of team rocket given he was the one in pokespe who pushed for stricter gym leader guidelines once several gym leaders were outed as part of team rocket. like idk he feels like he should have more relevance in the games and he just....DOESN'T. IDK please just give him more than two seconds of screen time nintendo i BEG of you

[lovincherries]

Smut where Austin fucks you so hard you can’t walk correctly the next day on set and someone asks about it to make sure you’re okay in a group of your costars during break you try to lie and say it was your leg day yesterday and then they realize when Austin smirks at you thinking no one was looking at him. But you guys haven’t told anyone you’re dating so it makes for some interesting conversation and definitely some burning hot cheeks. (Title option lol hunka hunka burning love 😂😂😂)

Hunka Hunka Burning Love

a/n: literally LOVE this suggestion lmaoooo the title killed me. I'm back and better than ever y'all. I have a story about Austin with a thicker reader coming out soon, so watch out for it! This is kind of short bc I have sooo much I wanna work on today. I kind of changed it up a little bit, I'm sorry!!

@gvnchhy had the same requests, therefore there are two of these. I’m sorry :((

warnings: rough sex, embarrassment, and just smut. daddy kink.

"Austin," you sighed softly as he pressed his front into your back, his touch was a welcome reprieve from the stress you were feeling. He had hardly been home while filming the Elvis movie, leaving you to tend to the house and your studies all on your own. Truth be told, you hated it more than anything. Austin was your rock. And not to mention, you missed his touch as well, craved it. No matter what you did, it was nothing like the way he would touch you.

"Hey darlin'," he said gruffly in that southern accent he had developed, Lord did he know that it did crazy things to you. His hands wandered to your front, softly caressing your waist. The light touch of his fingertips sent shockwaves down your spine, you craved what he had to give you and he knew it too.

"I missed you," you said. Your voice came out soft and airy, a hint of neediness that only Austin could detect. You could feel the slight smile on his face that was placed in the nape of your neck, causing one to encase your face too. You slightly pressed your ass back into him, needing him closer to you. You only wore his t-shirt and your panties, but the thick layer of his jeans and your clothes was too much to bear.

"Someone is needy today," he hummed into your shoulder, his hands slipping below your t-shirt and resting on your hips. Only inches from where you wanted him.

"Very," you spoke transparently, there was no need to hide how you were feeling. You could skip the small talk with him, there was no need to tease each other. You felt the press of his dick in his pants, the very few words you spoke and the proximity of your bodies affecting him just as much as it affected you.

You turned around to face him, your hands resting on his chest. His lips were spread slightly apart, eyes hazed with something deeper and darker. He looked down at you, your breasts pressing through your shirt. Your nipples were hard, poking through your shirt. They demanded his attention, needed it. His hands were slightly touching you all over, just rubbing any bare skin you had to offer. It was driving you mad. You didn't want barely there touches, you wanted him to fuck you.

His hands were trailing south on your back, leaving anticipation in the wake of his fingertips, you wanted everything. His hands rested on your ass, squeezing harshly, eliciting a gasp from your mouth. It left a smile on his face to see how you reacted. After he relented his harsh grip on your butt, he smacked it, hard.

"Austin," you said impatiently, his name revealing everything you wanted to say to him but couldn't find the words to express how you were feeling.

He leaned down into your neck, kissing slowly up to your jaw to your ear, he licked it slightly, pulling on it. "Is my baby desperate for my dick?" He asked in a demeaning tone, but it only excited you more. You loved it when he got in these moods.

"Yes," you said honestly again, all your emotions shined through your voice. Truth be told, you and Austin hadn't been able to do anything in weeks and you were going crazy. You were both too exhausted by all your other duties, when you got home you both just wanted to cuddle and sleep. Today? Today was the first day Austin had gotten home at a reasonable time, and you were both going to take advantage of it.

His hands were now playing with the thin straps of your underwear, he slightly tugged at it, letting it slap your skin. The sting was noticeable, but your lust for him was clogging all your other senses. You only wanted one thing, and without it you felt so hollow. His fingers were now outlining your panty clad folds, his light touches only making you hungry for him more.

"Already so wet and we haven't done a damn thing," he hummed, attempting to embarrass you, but you felt no shame, "so desperate for what daddy has to give her, huh?" He asked rhetorically, moving his touch away from where you wanted it most. He was in a teasing mood today and you couldn't stand it.

You stood on your tip toes, leaning into his ear now. A fire ignited in your soul, you were mad that he was denying you of something you deserved. "If daddy doesn't give it to me," you paused, drawing him in, licking a stripe up his neck. A shudder moved down his spine at your whispered words and light touches, "I'll find someone else who will."

You knew that would drive him insane, Austin was the jealous type. His eyes darkened almost immediately, feeling threatened by your words. His hands quickly found their way to your throat, squeezing only slightly. "Someone is acting like a little whore," he said roughly, his mean words only formed a pool in your underwear. You loved it when he spoke so meanly to you.

"And when you act like a whore," he paused now, gripping your throat slightly harder, cutting off your oxygen now, "you get treated like one."

He released your throat, small gasps coming from your mouth now, attempting to regain some oxygen. Before you could think, he lifted you up, placing you on your kitchen counters. He tore your panties off, leaving them ripped on the floor. You wined; it was one of your favorite pairs.

"Shut the fuck up," the anger apparent in his voice, Austin despised the insinuation of you being with another man. It was something he feared with him being away so much, and you knew you shouldn't have said it but you couldn't help yourself. He quickly pulled down the sweats he wore, his dick semi hard now. He moved his hands up and down his shaft, making himself harder now.

"Take your shirt off," he said, gasping while he pleased himself, "and don't say a fucking word or I'm shoving your panties down your throat."

You did exactly what he said, you always did. You were left completely bare now too, he threw his shirt off as well. His dick was completely standing to attention now, his tip leaking precum. It only caused your mouth to water in response. You ached for him and everything he had to give you. He roughly pulled you forward, his dick just barely touching your soaked folds. You attempted to kiss him, but he stopped you. That's how you knew he was the angriest he had ever been.

"Only good girls get a kiss, not whores," he said, gripping your jaw harshly. You just nodded your head in response, trying to comply with his wants.

He was now rubbing his dick up and down your folds, coating himself in your slick. "Haven't been home in fucking days and that's the first thing you say to me? Fucking pathetic," he said harshly, you were too distracted by his dick on your folds. His tip brushing against your clit every few moments. You wanted to moan in response, but you knew that would anger him more.

Before you could process anything, he slipped into you. It was a tight fit, you had been empty for weeks. You both gasped out at the stretch, the only moment his domineering facade faded. He bottomed out in you, fast. The pain of him hitting your cervix was subdued from the pure ecstasy of having him inside you. He didn't give you any warning or any time to prepare before he started pounding into you, your body became hazed from the pleasure and the pain. You both released little moans from your mouth like chants of praise, both loving the feeling of having each other so close.

He was going unbelievably fast and hard, creating a pressure in your stomach that you had never felt before. "D-daddy," you couldn't help but moan, your brain could hardly focus on the commands he told you. Your legs went limp, making it harder for him to thrust into you at that pace.

He quickly reacted, throwing both legs over his shoulders, stretching you out and compressing you in every possible way. He went right back to his relentless pace, giving you no time to breathe or think.

"Can't even give me any fucking respect," he spit out, looking down at you with so much love and anger. He went impossibly harder, surely your cervix was going to be bruised at this pace. You tried to crawl away from him, to get some reprieve from the immense pleasure and pain.

He was quick to react, pulling you back closer to him. "Can't take it, huh?" He spoke degradingly, you shook your head no. Tears were brimming at your eyes from the feeling of being so full. He knew if you really wanted to stop, you would have said so. He knew you liked it like this. He shoved two fingers all the way down your throat, forcing you to gag on his fingers as he relentlessly pounded into you.

"That's too bad," he spoke, leaning down into your ear. You could barely hear his words, only being able to feel the pleasure he was giving you. Tears were falling down your face now, your moans muffled by the fingers in his throat. His full weight was on you as he thrusted into you, but all you could feel was his dick in your stomach. Your legs felt the burn of being stretched up to his shoulders, you knew this was going to hurt so bad tomorrow but it felt so good now.

His other hand found your clit, rubbing it. It only pushed you that much farther over the edge, you felt dumbified from everything he was giving you. Drool was coming out from your mouth, your head thrown back and your eyes closed, you could only feel him. You knew he was close too, not being inside of you for so long did that to him. He rubbed your clit harder now, your hips bucking up to meet his now. You were no longer running away from the pleasure but embracing it. His hips were going faster now, stuttering as they hit yours.

"C'mon, come for me baby, milk my cock like the good whore you are," he moaned into your ear, and his words sent you over the edge. Your walls spasmed around him, causing him to moan and to release inside of you. Your wetness gushed around his as he continued to thrust into you throughout your orgasm, filling you up to the brim of all his love that he had been saving for you for weeks. You both couldn't move; he stayed deep inside of you. You were both exhausted from the pleasure.

You stayed for his for what felt like forever, until he picked you up. He was still inside of you as he took you to your shared bedroom, laying both of you in the comfort of your sheets. The last thing you heard him mutter was, "so beautiful," as you closed your eyes.

*******

You were right, it did hurt the next day. So very, very bad.

"Austin, I can't go to work with you today," you told him, standing at your bathroom sink with shaky legs. He could only laugh in response, but that stupid laugh made you want to murder him.

"Ya gotta go babe, you promised," he said cockily, a part of him wanted everyone to know that he did this to you. Your shaky legs was him marking his territory, everyone would look at you and know what happened.

"You did this to me!" You fake yelled at him, blaming him for the pain you were in now.

He ultimately convinced you to go, and when everyone asked you if you were okay or if you pulled something because you couldn't walk, your only response was. "I had a very intense leg day yesterday."

Austin almost always gave it away with that stupid smirk on his face and everyone would know that Austin was the one who put you in this embarrassing situation.

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[msookyspooky]

Im watching The Lost Boys for the first time !! I wanna watch more horror movies, i only started watching the ones not for kids like last year sksksk so i have some catching up to do

And i think theres no one better to ask for recs than you spooky, so please send me your favorites !

Besides the scream franchise and, as of like yesterday, the first two Halloween movies i actually haven’t seen any big classics

I saw that AND Near Dark fuck yeah good for you!! You're getting a damn good head start lol Thanks for giving me this honor bc adgwadhfa I swear that's so nice of you 🥺🖤 Sadly, I really haven't found too many like Near Dark or Lost Boys. You could consider Fright Night or Vampires or Interview with a Vampire but imo they still don't have the same feel.

I'm elaborating on certain ones bc I think you'll really like them.

Cult Classic's with a decent following here on Tumblr so you can look at Fanart/fanfics afterwards:

- House of Wax (2005)

You'll like this one! Pretty decent sized fanbase here on tumblr, new content all the time even for it being almost 20 years old. Listen if you liked Severen in Near Dark...You'll probably like Bo cause not only do they look like they could be long lost cousins or brothers (I need a crossover that Severen is the Sinclair's like great-great-great Uncle or something and they run into each other while looking for food one night) and the Sinclair's got that thick Louisiana accent that's hot af especially if you thought Severen's Southern accent was hot 😏😤

Simping aside, the story is pretty good. It's a little morbid but in a good way, really great backstory for the villians and you know somethings off with this town right away. It also has Paris Hilton in it and Brian Van Holt plays both Bo and his twin brother Vincent. Oh, and Wade/the protagonist boyfriend is Sam from Supernatural.

- Jennifer's Body (2009)

- Ginger Snap's (2000)

- Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This one is different for everyone bc they made so many...So freaking many and none of them match up together. Not really, lmfao! I like the 2003 remake and 2006 remake prequel the best, then the original from the 70s, then 2 and 3 and 4 I lump together bc they are some campy wild as fuck rides. I laughed through most of them and then was mortified and then laughing again. It's truly peak camp horror. I personally dislike the newest one and the 3D one was *okay* but you can honestly pick and choose to watch any of them and it won't matter bc none of them relate to each other like they should. I would watch the original and the remake and whether you want to watch the remakes prequel in 2006 or number 2 onward etc is up to you!

- Childs Play & Bride of Chucky (1988 and 1998)

- Rob Zombies Halloween Remake

I think you should watch this one if you liked the original Halloween's it's a gritter remake and honestly this Michael scares me even more than the original. He's freaking like 7 feet tall. I have not watched Halloween Kills or any other newer ones with Jamie Lee Curtis and I need to! But I definitely think you should give this one a chance if you liked Halloween. If you ever see RZ Michael Myers on here in prompts or imagines; this is the Michael they're talking about.

- Evil Dead (1981)

*This one is a classic its as campy and gorey as it got for back then but be warned there's a SA scene you can skip where she goes out into the woods. When you see the vines wrap around her...SKIP. The rest is fine.*

- Fear Street (2021)

Honorable mentions that don't really have fandoms but should definitely be watched at least once:

- Pumpkinhead (1988)

It has Jesse from Near Dark/Lance Henrikson as the main character! I grew up with this one and it has that Appalachia horror vibe that's near and dear to my heart. It's about a man getting revenge for his dead son by a witch that lives deep in the mountainside. He pays her debt to summon a hellish demon to take revenge on the young adults that accidentally kill his little boy and leave him to die by the road but then Lance/ The Dad has to try and stop it when it goes too far.

- Tremors (1990)

- Night of the Demons (1988) *Flash Warning*

LMFAO my face when she stuck a lipstick tube through her... 'skin' 😦

I qoute this all the time 👹TeLL mE Im Preettyyy👹 lolol it's fun! Point blank, it is FUN! They were so dumb and decided "Let's open a portal to hell in an abandon funeral home on Halloween" 😃

- I Know What you did Last Summer

This isn't one of my favs bc Julie/the main character gets on my nerves so much. She is so fucking useless most of the movie...BBUUTTTT her friend Helen/Sarah Michelle Giler really makes up for it. It's very similar to Scream that they're being killed off one by one and have to figure out who it is before it's too late but it's not nearly as good as Scream imo. It was kind of a trend after Scream for movies like Valentine, IKWYDLS, Urban Legend etc to try and copy what Scream had and some are good! The Curve is an example! But none of them are Scream to me, not even close but It's worth a watch tho.

- Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Yes, the movie 1992)

- Trick r Treat (2007)

- The Craft (1996)

- Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)

- Salems Lot (It's getting a remake this year!!)

- House on Haunted Hill (1999)

- Ghostship (2002)

- The Skeleton Key (2005)

Horror Movies that are my favs that I found scary or creepy or were just that good:

- Pet Semetary (1989)

This is probably my all time favorite horror movie. It is so...Unnerving and eerie and gross without hardly any jump scares and zero cgi for the time. It's all just wonderful acting and special effects makeup and story telling. To this day as an adult, Rachel's sister in the bed makes me uneasy. Anything by Stephen King is usually good but this is by far my all time favorite. Other favorites by him are Carrie, Christine, Sleepwalkers, Firestarter, Children of the Corn, IT, Sometimes They Come Back, and The Shining just to name a few.

- Rosemary's Baby (1968)

- Orphan (2009)

DO NOT LOOK AT REVIEWS. I'D GIVE MY LEFT METAPHORICAL NUT TO REWATCH THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME ALL OVER AGAIN!! Don't ruin it for yourself! Just find it, watch it and enjoy

It's ggoooddd, even tho I've only watched it twice, that was something else.

- The Descent (2005)

I'm claustrophobic and yes whats in the cave is scary but she gets STUCK at one point and I couldn't breathe. I was biting my nails like it's scary but couldn't be me cause I'll never go cave diving ever never ever. The cave itself was scarier than the creature im js.

- The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

- Us (2019)

- Suspiria (2018...I've never seen the original but it's on my list)

- The Others (2001)

- Jeepers Creepers (2001)

THIS ONE. It's probably going to be considered a classic in a few decades. It's this...THING stalking ppl for their body parts. It all could have been avoided if ppl minded there business in this case 🙃 They had the sister being the smart, brave one while the brother was more sensitive which was a nice change of pace for a horror movie

And they are the most realistic sibling duo I've ever seen in a movie too. No overly mushy, 'love you bro/love you sis' vibes. They call each other names but don't hesitate to save each other either while calling each other names. And did I mention the Thing/Creeper is scary af? I live near a cornfield. My parents would point to the sky and be like "OMFG WHAT IS THAT?!" KNOWING this thing terrified me and lil me was screaming and ready to windmill any demon coming from the sky or cornfield after me.

There might be a fandom for this but it's small if there is.

There's so many but I some are good, some are forgettable, some are downright out bad. I just tried to include ones like Scream or Near Dark or that I think you would like! Hope this helps and any followers feel free to drop any recommendations too!! 🖤

[h0rr0rsaxo]

okay....so remember this picture?

(Not owned by me btw...found it on pinterest)

Hehe...uh yeah. Still stuck in my head so I have to do something about it because if I don't think too hard about the image, then I could literally be convinced that its Vince.

I finally got Addict and Vince's relationship pinned down too if it helps. So pretty much they are both so into each other, but with the situation they are in with Vince being Varrick's "dead" brother and Vince is scared of being close with people, they settle on being fuck buddies or just friends with benefits. So they are constantly trying to flirt and turn each other on with little things here and there.

So my idea was Addict and Vince decide to go to a bar, have a little fun and what not. They spot a pool table and decide to play a little bit, but Addict turns around for one second and sees that. She immediately is just kinda like..."Uhhh...uhh I think I forgot how to breath.." Vince then sees this and decides to escalate it even more, by being extra touchy and just flirty, he makes sure to double the amount petnames he calls her and he makes his southern accent even more thick just get her a little more weak in the knees.

"Oh sweetness, are you a little flustered?"

"No...its just a little hot in here." (what a fucking lie)

[ Bar Nights - Simp Party ]

SYNOPSIS; Varrick, and Addict spend some time together at a bar.

WARNINGS; Just a little spicy..

TAGS; @insane-horror-movie-addict

CHARACTER COUNT; 8,681

Addict struggled to follow close to Vince in the dimness of the bar, lights and smoke hovering over the dancing crowd on the other side. But soon, Vince led Addict to a booth complete with a table. Vince and Addict took a set on each side of the table, Lyon staring back at them as he stood behind the bar.  Lyon leaned over the table and smiled, “I see the two of you are back again, I presume to get to get shit-faced drunk?" His lips pulled into a smirk, as he chuckled and shook his head.

 

“Yes sir!” Addict smiled and Vince looked at her, as he started to watch her with a small genuine grin on his lips. His hand slowly reached up and rubbed the side of his neck, eyes opening slowly to stare at her and further sink himself into his thinking. As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew he had slowly been falling for her. Especially when she had done nothing but improve his life for the better, so he honestly couldn't help himself. He didn't wanna get too close, he didn't wanna be attached. 

  

The bartender was quick with the order and his hands worked like magic. Tossing together the liquor ingredients to the drink, he threw it all into a shaker and shook it up vigorously. Unscrewing the top, he tipped the shaker over the martini glasses and poured a sum amount in each, making sure it was all even. He tossed in a toothpick and green olive in each, topping off the drink with a ring of sugar sprinkled over the lip of the glasses.

 

“Alright, you ready to have some funneling?" Addict said with a smile and Vince watched as he slowly snapped from his thoughts.

— … —

In the large yet prestigious bar, they fortunately managed to find an available pool table in such a crowded area, and conveniently, they were both pretty much experts at the game at this point. In the midst of the game however, Addict turned on her heel to grab her drink from the booth they had been seated in, but as she turned, she noticed Vince incredibly focused in the game. His knee was placed onto the rim of the pool-table, as he certained his attention entirely around the game, not exactly noticing how much the pose was completely flustering Addict. 

“And that's game!” Vince laughed, slamming the bottom of the pool stick on the floor. He playfully smacked her on the shoulder and stared at the empty table, glad that he had won the game. 

“Hey, I'm pretty sure you were cheating!” The pouty woman he had just beaten expressed with much annoyance. Vince pursed his lips,

 

“Oh, come on now!” Vince glanced over at the pool table for a moment before returning his gaze to Addict with a playful yet drunken gaze, “I told you I don’t fuck around when it comes to a game of stick.”

 

“Don't lie!”

 

“What’d you just say to me?” Vince pouted; obviously offended that Addict would say such a thing to him about pool. He playfully leaned in when he noticed the painfully obvious display of pink on her cheeks. "Now darlin', you know I'd never lie to you, right?" He smirked.

 

Addict only grunted and playfully rolled her eyes, shaking her head and tossing the pool stick back on the table. She tried to ignore the flirtatious way he caressed her, but he continued to egg her on. But she focused onto him once she noticed just how tipsy he was getting, “You alright?”

 

“I may or may not be ready for bed.” He mumbled and leaned back on a hand, groaning again, “Everything’s spinnin’...”

 

Vince trying to look up at her with his spinning eyes. He managed to see her hand elevated down to him, “Come on, I’ll help you to bed.”

 

“Alright...” Vince groaned and grabbed her hand, Addict straining through the dull pain in her belly to get him to his feet.

 

He leaned against her and Addict tossed his heavy arm around her shoulders, keeping him steady as they walked. It wasn’t much of a walk, more like a sophisticated stumble as Addict led him out of the bar and down the trail towards her apartment. Addict caught a few stares and points of fingers as she passed by with Vince, but she soon ignored them and desperately tried to get him up the stairs. She was a bit surprised it wasn’t as hard as she thought, so she opened the door and Vince led himself inside. Addict stepped into the darkness as Vince stood hunched over in the doorway of the kitchen, his hand rubbing over his face again. Addict was quick to grab a bottle of water out of the old fridge and rubbed her hand on his back,

 

“Come on, almost there, your room’s upstairs.” She encouraged. Vince leaned back against the wall and stared down at her, Addict letting out a sigh,

 

“Well, let’s get to steppin’.” Addict helped him to the open stairs and he took the first step.

 

They finally got up the set of stairs after a couple longs minutes and Addict kept Vince from falling. He stopped at a door and she took that as a motion that it was his temporary bedroom. She pushed the door open to the large room, taking in its features briefly before finding the bed to lead him to it. Vince wobbled a bit and his legs threatened to give out once his eyes spotted the bed. His weight bore down on her a bit more than usually and she struggled to get him to the bed,

 

“Come on, almost there!” She huffed while almost dragging him to the bed at that point, “Vince, pick up your-!”

 

Vince whirled around and Addict fell with him, Addict bouncing on his chest as they hit the bed. She let out a sigh of triumphant relief at the task while resting her forehead on his chest. But then, the reality hit her and she froze when she felt Vince's hand sliding up her bare back and stopping at her shoulder,

"Oh sweetness, are you a little flustered?" Vince mumbled and cracked his amber eyes open to stare at her. She swallowed hard and gawked back at him,

“No…it's just…a little hot in here.” She whispered back and he let out a deep chuckle, closing his eyes aagain.Addict's skin tingled when the fingers of his other hand brushed up against her back. She tensed and her mind swirled as she didn’t know what to do. She was lying on top of Vince, in a bed, alone.

 

She stared at his serene face and it oddly didn’t look drunk or tired. She could feel his strong lungs lifting her weight as his chest raised and fell with each deep breath that he took. His hands were still pressed against her back and under her own chest she could feel his heart thumping soundlessly against his sternum. Addict's hand hesitated to move, but it finally managed to cough out its courage and slid up against Vince's face. Her thumb trailed over his jawline and she heard his let out a deep breath at her touch, smiling softly at the sound of his resting breath.

Vince's eyes opened again and he stared up at her, his hand moving from the skin of her back up to her hair. Her soft hair tingled against his skin as it cascaded off her shoulder. Drunk or not, he didn’t care. He wanted this woman that was lying on top of him and he’d do anything to do it. He didn’t want her the same way he had wanted any other woman. He wanted to feel her skin under his again, her warmth synchronizing with his own, and her fingernails caressing his skin softly. He wanted to know what those sweet rosy lips of hers tasted like and to see that smile of hers after they parted for fresh air.

 

Vince leaned up and caught Addict's lips in his, wrapping one arm around the small of her back and pressing her tightly against him as much as he could without hurting her. It made him relish in the fact that Addict kissed him back and her fingers pressing against his cheek made him warm. She fixed herself more comfortably on his body and stretched her legs over his waist, pressing her hips down on him.

 

Their lips both grappled at each other in both fever and lust. Their hands finally moved about each other as they explored one another’s bodies. Addict's fingers wrapped themselves in Vince's surprisingly soft hair, her fingernails lightly scraping along his scalp as they moved. His hands pressed against her sides as they moved down, stopping just at the rim of her shorts, and repeating their trail back up to her ribs. She tasted so much better than he hoped. He was glad she didn’t drink as much of the beer he offered to her. It would have soiled the moment he had been secretly waiting for, for such a long time.

 

And Vince, in return, tasted like whiskey. But Addict didn’t think it was bad, it was actually quite exciting. Her body heated up at his kisses intensity and she absolutely didn’t know what to do with herself but just rolled along with him. She felt like a puppet under his control and the more he touched her the more she boiled in the pit of her stomach.

 

But even as much as she wanted to pursue on with her exploration, she knew that her stitches would limit what she would and could do.

[girlsexbattle2]

Ep 2

warning: you know that post thats like 'have you watched a movie before?? things happen then things are revealed to you?' thats in response to me. everything in this post is why that other post exist

enclave guy is trying WAYYYYY to hard

also also call back to the first ep, what the fuck were those western accents? am i meant to believe that the way speech evolved was so it sound like bad improve?

the rubber duck in the bos.... fuck. thingamajig is cute. VERTABIRD yeah im a real fan B)

another brotherhood segment another day asking if the tv show wants to talk about race

god they are sooo allergic to nuisance

the power armour is sick tho

wtf is dogmeat salivating when holding a human hand what did they feed her (also dogmeats a girl feminism win)

most of the guns so far just look like the harpoon gun from farharbor. that may just be me being bad with guns tho

literally no one gives a shit about the radioactive ooze cans its funny. enclave guy just took a seat on one.

i dont like the religious brotherhood its to on the nose for me

okay so they arent just some tanks of radiation its the entrace to a Cave full of radioactive waste. with human bones everywhere. why did the enclave guy feel the need to warn lucy again?

too lazy to take photos (if its a real issue someone else would have) but wtf is wrong with the trees in the background? they look like they have the fish eye effevt to them and nothing else does.

ph yeah it was a yoai gui in the trailer i was really hoping deathclaw buts its just a matter of time. does this mean they are in Wyoming? how much are they gonna keep. like they SHOWED new vegas and the husks.

why the FUCK does it have human abs. and pecs.

he shot it in the head once and its down??? the fuck is he packing???

why is it being anti power armor? or just anti power? okay the undersuit to the tin can is a cool detail looks like an etsy costume tho.

wow totally allergic to nuisance

maximus was a child when the bos picked him up why hadnt he picked this up yet? was it cause he was at bos bible camp? none around?

Oasis???? (trees in the dust)

that tin can is in working condition????

you can see the power armor hui from f4 its cool

favorite character alert - he fucks chickens and uses the word rube

wait philly people are calling for a dogmeat, is the other dog a rosie?? (human brain dog body pre brain installation oc)

BOOOOOOOO THE BRAHMIN HAVE FUR BOOOOOOO BOOOOOO

my man is sitting in a rocking chair in the middle of a crowded street. whats his problem

also all the philly citizens have sick designs

'these items belong to vault tec. so it would be safe to assume you do business with criminals' 🤓☝️i love her 'im not judging!!'

YOU HAVE clean hair and ten fingers and qhite teeth mrs

mrs you also have skin. in the year (2100?) YOU have vault dwelling in your dna

BOOO SAME BRAHMIN SAME PROBLEM W H Y DOES IT HAVE FUR. WHERES MY ULSUR BABY???

another german shepherd?? O.O

nope its dogrose (her new name till they call her dog meat)

'ameritocracy where people pride themselves on doing the right thing'

people dont like 'the ghoul'

well HE has the bloddy mess perk

i like all the tire armour its cool

Why are they southern??? like has media lied to me or are these like misisipi georgian accents not western

okay the slug design is fun

welp dogroses dead

she was in all the trailers to i wanted to see her wreck shit.

Those little ass flames did NOT carry his ass from wyoming to california

he just got LAUNCHED

with NO broken ribs too!

lucy is getting the fucking hots while a man is bleeding out right next to her

is this a lesbian couple???? i swear that man had fem ass boobs.

team rocket blasting off again!! those rodeo skills werent just a prewar fad huh.

Dog rose lives????

Okay new question. Stimpacks?? I always assumed they were a wasteland thing. but lucy had one in the vault that look just as rattled. is there a factory for these shits still? or just a shit ton of them?

man dog has spit ill give her that

Whys dogmeatrose chill with the guy who shot her? surley that makes more sense then the drug in her dog brain.

it taste like banana. hes just fucking dead thats fun.

thats a clean ripper.

history will be made today as i watch the fallout show

1.) my friend admitted that they made the ulysses thing up.

dissapointment is on the rise

Counter point: 'the ghoul' doesnt look as clean shaven as he did in the trailer but he DID literally crawl out the grave so. and even then still wish he was a little worse to look similar to the established ghouls.

[queenxxxsupreme]

Study Session

A/N: I had a little chat earlier this week (I think it was this week) with @raspberrydreamclouds about the voice in my head being a southern male accent and this is what it produced. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind (sadly no smut this time) but it is cute and definitley will be something I need to do again in the future. Here is my masterlist and here is the link to go to if you want to be on any of my taglists. 

Warnings: none, well reader is a bit h*rny and tries to get Sy to be h*rny too but there’s no smut, we’ve got lots of supportive Syverson and patient Syverson and I’m soft 

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: You struggle with homework. Syverson encourages you to continue.

*** 

You absentmindedly scrolled through tik tok, getting lost in yet another video as you were laying on your stomach on your bed. You had your school work spread out on half of the bed and your laptop was open, though the screen had gone to sleep from lack of use. Taking up the other half of the bed was Aika. The German Shepherd was snoring quietly while you stared at your phone screen. 

You didn’t even notice when she woke up, having heard the front door open. Her ears perked up and she listened intently. Then she looked at you, wondering if you’d react to noise. When you didn’t, Aika got up to investigate, padding downstairs. 

A few moments later, Syverson appeared in the doorway of the bedroom. Blue eyes flickered around the room, surveying the scene. 

You were still scrolling through that dumb social media site he didn’t understand. You often showed him videos you thought were funny or cute, but he didn’t get the point of the site. 

Your laptop was open but the screen was black. A notebook was open right next to it and there was a pen resting on top of it, but the paper was blank. A textbook rested next to the laptop, but it wasn’t opened. 

You were on your stomach propped up on your elbows. Your back was to him, so it was no surprise that you didn’t hear him.

“How’s your homework comin’ along, angel?”

You jumped at the sound of his voice, rolling over on to your side so that you could see him. 

“Sy.” You smiled at him. You placed your phone down and sat up. “What time is it? You’re home early.”

“Not exactly.” 

You tapped the mouse pad on your laptop and read the time. It was six o’clock. That was around the time he said he’d be home. He’d gone out to a buddy’s house for a couple hours and you were going to spend that time working on homework so that whenever he came back, you could spend time together. 

“Shit. I…. I lost track of time.” You rubbed your face.

“How much have of your studyin’ have ya gotten done?” He asked, tilting his head to the side a little. 

You looked down at the notebook, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth. A few moments of silence passed before your eyes flickered over to him. You said nothing in reply, biting the inside of your cheek.

“You’re jokin’, angel.” Syverson moved into the room to look at the notebook. “I was gone nearly four hours.”

“I know.” You muttered, crossing your arms. A sinking feeling found its way to your stomach. “I-I just…. No matter how much I looked at the fucking words, I can’t remember any of them. Nothing is sticking.”

Syverson sat down on the edge of the bed, eyes gliding over the blank notebook. 

“When are ya tested on it?”

“Monday. So three days.”

He nodded. 

“I just-I can’t do it, Logan.” You brushed your hair back out of your face then rubbed your eyes. “I sat here for I don’t even know how long just reading and reading over the stupid words and I can’t fucking make it stick in my head. I can’t understand them and I get them mixed up.”

“Have ya tried flashcards?” He suggested.

“I can’t do it by myself.” You shook your head, frowning.

“Why didn’t you just ask, angel? I’ll do them with you.” He rubbed Aika’s head as he stood up.

“Sy, you don’t have to. It’s your weekend off base. You’re supposed to be relaxing.”

“I don’t care” He spoke over his shoulder. He left the room momentarily, going over to your study. 

He returned a few moments later with a pack of index cards and a sharpie. 

“Sy, I don’t want to do this.” You whined. “I just want to spend time with you. Like we planned, remember?”

“That was if you had gotten all your studyin’ done, angel. You didn’t do that though, did ya?” He raised his brows. 

“No.” 

“You wanna write these out, or do you want my shitty handwritin’ instead?”

You threw yourself back on the bed, groaning loudly. 

“Sy! I don’t want to!”

Ignoring your little tantrum, Syverson sat back down on the edge of the bed and took your notebook and your laptop. He began to write out the words you needed to learn on one side and their definition on the other. 

You pulled a pillow from the top of the bed and put it over your face, letting out another rather dramatic groan. 

“I even put on a cute pair of panties for you underneath this shirt of yours I’m wearing, Syverson!”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you stole another one of my Metallica shirts.” Syverson glanced up at you. You were peeking out from underneath the pillow at him. Just as your eyes met, you smashed the pillow over your face again. “Come on, angel. Don’t be so dramatic. Let’s spend an hour or so on this and then we’ll call it a night. We can work more on it tomorrow.”

You were silent.

Syverson finished up writing the words, which took a little more than five minutes, and looked at you. 

You were still laying on your back with your knees bent and a pillow over your face. 

“Angel.”

He received no answer. He let out a little sigh and reached over to tap the outside of your thigh. 

“Angel, come on.”

You sniffled and you trembled as you took in a couple quick breaths. Syverson furrowed his brows together. Were you crying?

He reached up to take ahold of the pillow and tried to tug it away gently, but you had a firm grip on it. 

“No.” Your voice was shaky. You were crying. 

“Y/N, why are you cryin’?”

“No.” 

Syverson’s eyes glided over you for a few moments, debating on what to do.

“Angel, I can’t do anything for ya if your face is stuffed in that pillow and your voice is all muffled. When you’re ready, I’ll be sittin’ here and we can talk. Okay?”

A few minutes passed before your grip on the pillow loosened and you pulled it away from your face. Your eyes were red and glossy and tears trailed down your cheeks. You sat up and folded your legs so you were sitting criss-cross. 

“Why are you cryin’?” He asked softly. 

You shrugged your shoulders. 

“‘Cause I ruined our night.” You rubbed your nose on the back of your hand. “We both have three day weekends and-and that’s so hard to come by. We’re usually so busy with work. If I would’ve just…. If I would’ve just put in more effort and tried harder…. We wouldn’t have to sit here and do this. We could be watching a movie or literally be doing anything else.”

“Angel, you didn’t ruin a damn thing.” Syverson assured you. “Yes, we had plans. But plans fall through. It happens. It’s okay. Look at how many times we’ve made plans and my work has changed them.”

“That’s different, Sy.” You muttered, picking at your nails. 

“No, it ain’t. You’re tryin’ your hardest to get an education, Y/N. And you are doin’ a damn good job at it. You’re just too hard on yourself.”

You rubbed your hands together, unable to bring yourself to meet his gaze. 

“You aren’t…. You’re not mad at me?”

Syverson frowned. 

“Angel, come here.”

You looked up at him through your lashes, catching a glimpse of his blue eyes. You wiped your cheeks before clambering across the bed and getting into his lap. 

His arms wrapped around you, rubbing your back. He kissed your head. 

“I ain’t mad at you, silly girl. The only reason I got after you for not studyin’ is ‘cause I want you to be successful. I want you goin’ places. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“M’not crying because of you. Just…. Just upset ‘cause I don’t want to do this.” You tucked your head into the front of his neck.

“I know. But I’m just askin’ for an hour, angel. Just one. Then I can run you a bath and maybe even rub your back if you want. Does that sound like a deal?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” He kissed your hair once more, slipping his hand underneath the shirt of his you wore so that he could rub the small of your back for a few moments. “Go wash those tears off your face, then come right back here. We got work to do.”

You climbed out of his lap, sighing heavily. 

As your feet touched the floor, Syverson gave your ass a nice smack. You squeaked, turning to look at him. A wide grin was spread across his lips. 

“Go on, angel.” He encouraged, leaning back on the pillows. 

“You know, we could just forget about the studying. I did have other plans for tonight too.” You put one hand on your hip, using the pose to pull up the oversized shirt you wore to reveal your lacy panties. They were dark red, Sy’s favorite color on you.

The grin left his lips as his eyes darkened at the sight of you standing in those panties with one of his black Metallica shirts. 

“Woman, I ain’t gonna tell you again. We’re doin’ your homework first.”

You groaned and stomped to the bathroom. 

***

A few minutes later, you returned to the bedroom. Sy was flipping through the index cards, trying to get a feel for what the words were that you had to learn. He glanced up at you for a moment and his eyes widened. 

You no longer wore his shirt. Instead, you were in a silky nightgown that matched your red panties. The nightgown loosely hugged your curve and showed off your cleavage.

“Angel.” He said your petname as if he was warning you. 

“What?” You feigned innocence, tilting your head to the side as you looked at him. 

“Where’d the shirt go?”

“I was hot.” You explained as you climbed on to the bed, not shying away from swaying your hips a little more than necessary. Anything to get out of school working, right?

He grumbled under his breath, blue eyes flickering back down to the index cards in his hands.

You settled with sitting right beside him, your bare thigh brushing up against his. He was in jeans- thank goodness. If he had changed into something more comfortable, he risked being able to feel you better. And you needed to do this. You didn’t need distractions or to be a distraction to yourself. 

“Have you, uh, Have you had a chance to look over the words at all?”

“A little.” You nodded. “Earlier.”

“How well do you think you know them?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” You hummed softly, placing your hand on his knee. 

Syverson immediately took your hand in his grip and pulled it away. You frowned, hurt by his action. 

“Angel-,”

“Logan-,”

“Y/N.” He said your name firmly. “You know damn well that if I let you start gettin’ handsy with me, we aren’t gonna get very far.”

“I don’t even care about the damn words, Logan! Just pay attention to me!” You whined. You knew you were behaving like an unruly child, but you had spent so long earlier that day trying and trying to study and to do your work that the thought of even looking at another word made you want to rip your hair out. “I-I can’t do it, Logan. I’m-I’m too…. My brain doesn’t work enough for this.”

Your words were quiet and hushed as you dropped your gaze to your lap. He released your hand. You folded your hands together on your thighs, biting your bottom lip nervously as you waited for him to say something. 

“What do ya mean, angel?”

“I-I….” You paused for a moment to think about how you wanted to word your answer. “I read things, but none of it processes. It doesn’t sink into my head. I can’t focus. I can’t do it. It’s so hard and it makes me want to cry but I-I won’t because I don’t want to do that again but I can’t…. It’s so hard, Logan. I just don’t know why it can’t be a little bit easier.”

He stayed quiet in case your brief pause was just you trying to think of what else you wanted to say. 

“And-And I just…. I don’t know. I don’t even want to do it half the time.” You shrugged your shoulders. “The whole ‘go to school’ thing. It’s not…. I don’t know if it’s worth it.”

Syverson nodded softly, looking down at the index cards. 

“Angel, we knew about your ADHD when you decided that you wanted to go to school-,”

“I know, Sy!” You cut him off unintentionally. “I-I know. I just…. I didn’t think it would be this hard. I don’t remember high school being this bad.”

“Things can change. That’s what your doctor said. College brings out a whole bunch of new shit and problems that some people didn’t know they had. But angel, you know I’m here for you.” Syverson reached over to place his hand on yours. “I’m here for you no matter what. Thick and thin. That’s what we agreed to when we took our vows. Remember?”

“I remember.” You nodded, smiling at the memories. 

“That means that if you need a little extra help, don’t hesitate to mention it to me. I’ll change my plans for you in an instant, you know that.”

“But you shouldn’t have to.”

“I want to.” He noticed the way you frowned and the furrow between your brows as you looked down. He hooked one finger beneath your chin and turned your head so you had no choice but to look at him. “You’re a strong woman, Y/N. I’m damn proud to be your husband.”

A smile pulled at the corners of your lips. 

“How about we do thirty minutes today and thirty tomorrow?” He suggested. You nodded, the twisted knot in your stomach dissipating a little. “Every time you get a word right, you can get a kiss. Does that sound good?”

“Yes.” You answered a little too quickly. “And if I get three in a row right, I get a little something extra.”

Syverson chuckled. 

“What did you have in mind?”

“You take off something.”

“Deal.”

Taglist: @whitewolfandthefox @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @wolfyland07 @persephonehemingway @raspberrydreamclouds @onlyhenrys @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @scarlettwitcher @runawayolives @summersong69 @omgkatinka @crazybutconfidentaf @hell1129-blog @harrysthiccthighss @maan24 @mentallyscreamingsincebirth @fl0ating @henrythickcavill  @thanks-bruh-for-nothing @maan2442 @lharrietg @creatingstuffinpeace  @thefirelordm 

If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(

[frostfireft]

I would love to hear more about Southern Freed and British Laxus. Please, I beg of you, tell me more

Of course! this is combining the AU we made and bits of canon stuff so that it could be used in either context!

Freed:

-Freed has South Eastern southern accent because he grew up moving around the little area where Georgia, Tennessee, and North Carolina meet. (or in canon, whatever the closest equivalent may be. I honestly don’t know)

-He also talks really fucking fast, especially when he’s excited. This causes a lot of his words to turn themselves into weird contractions that can be hard to parse through if you don’t have experience with it. (Contrary to what you might think, if someone has a southern drawl, it doesn’t necessarily mean they speak slowly. It just means they elongate certain vowels and diphthongs sounds or even just the most prominent syllable of the word. (like how “going to” becomes “gonna” but is pronounces like “gun-na” with heavy stress on the first syllable) )

-example for the last one: y’ain’t gonna’lieve thi’shit (you are not going to believe this shit) 

-He has the ability, if he’s not sleep deprived, to completely neutralize his accent. He learned how to do this explicitly because people stereotype southerners as stupid, and he enjoys seeing people’s reactions when he gets done presenting his theses or linguistic findings. He’s using their reactions to them finding out he’s southern and has a deep accent to write another theses about why judging people by their first appearance or based on stereotypes is a terrible thing to do. 

-When he really sleep deprived his words slur so bad that his own momma wouldn’t be able to understand him. 

-He’s written a few books, but no English major would be surprised to learn he’s southern. This is because no matter how well you nuetralize an accent, the tendedency to use certain colloquialisms is usually very present in any author’s style. (examples: Bless your heart, I reckon, pot-kettle, fisticuffs, doohicky, hissy fit, fixin’, Sir/Ma’am, calling a shopping cart a “buggy”)

-has used southern colloquialisms in his runes. This is part of what makes them so hard to fight and decypher. No one fucking understand them on top of them being hard to change regardless.

-He has some of the best insults, be it the super southern ones(“Well that’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.” and “She’s a few green beans short of a casserole, but that’s all right”) or just straight up sassy ones (”you’re why the gene pool needs a life guard” and “the bar was low but you brought a shovel”)

-Definitely called Laxus “highfalutin” before they became friends. (pronounced high-fo-loo-tin, means that someone is uppity and thinks their hot shit when they’re not)

-Drinks sweet tea with so much sugar that it’s damn near molasses, but hot tea with very little. 

-Would punch a cop without hesitation, ducktape and wd40 can fix 90% of problems. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” “if it’s stupid and it works, then it ain’t stupid,” definitely knows how to make and/or owns illegal fireworks, definitely went to a horse camp as a kid and can ride. 

Laxus:

-Grew up in Westminster and has an RP/Queen’s English accent(b-are-th pronounciation. this is the accent that’s  most often mimicked by people and used in movies. once again, in canon he’d have grown up in whatever the most canon equivilent is. probably Crocus, and then he moves in with Makarov after Ivan(fucking cunt) gets arrested)

- He speaks so properly and it’s a drastic contrast to the way he looks.

-and by that I mean. This man has no fashion sense. None. This is because he doesn’t want to be seen as posh, and he decided that dressing like a blind man who ran through a thift store is the way to do it. 

-Tried so hard to get rid of his accent. So. fucking. hard. He hates it because it reminds him of his dad. 

-Insults people while trying to be “nice.” He doesn’t really realize he’s doing it until after he meets Freed and sees the way he intentionally insults assholes while being “kind.” He did not understand why everyone hated him until then. 

-Would punch any other person who sounds and acts posh without hesitation. Makarov is proud of him. 

-Used to drink a shocking about of black and milk tea, but Freed got him to try a bunch of other kinds. He still won’t touch the sweet tea though. 

-His words tend to drip with sarcasm. Most people just think he’s being an asshole, but the few who understand his humor get the biggest kick out of it (Makarov, Freed, Evergreen, Bickslow, and then a few other’s later in life) 

-Would also punch a cop without hesitation. 

-he can’t handle spicy food. Like at all. He feels like he’s dying one bite into anything with crushed red pepper in it. Not that he’ll let anyone know that. 

- Absolutely loves the rain, and not just because of his magic. It makes him remember what little of his childhood was actually nice and plesant. 

-he sunburns really easy because it wasn’t sunny very often where he grew up for the first 12 years of his life. He peels really bad as it heals too. 

Fraxus:

-the first time Laxus spoke to Freed while he was sleep deprived, he had no fucking idea what he was saying. Not a fucking clue. Freed tried four seperate times to seperate his words before just giving up. 

-They argue about what the proper word for something is all the time. All. The. Time. (fries vs chips, cart vs buggy, cookie vs bisciut. 

-Laxus once watched Freed mentally die inside when a waiter offered him sugar packets because there wasn’t actual sweet tea. 

-There aren’t many dishes that they’ll agree on. Especially if they’re arguing about who will do the cooking. 

-Freed has absolutely made the food “too spicy” just to get Laxus back for dumb things. watching his partner die inside from something that barely tingles will never cease to amuse him. 

-They eventually get to a point where parts of their vocabulary make it into the other’s, and soon they have theis weird mix-matched dialect that confuses the shit out of other people. 

-They use their hellish combination of sarcasm and insults disguised as compliments to subtly insult and cuss out homophobes, concervatives, TERFS, and basically any piece of shit they come across. 

-They also argue over whether or not to fix something or buy a new one when it breaks

Laxus: Are you sure it’s safe to fix that with duct tape? 

Freed: Duck tape is insulated enough for this-

Laxus: no it isn’t. It will catch fire if it gets hot enough.

Freed: Toaster’s worked fine with duck tape holdin’ the wire for the past decade. 

Laxus: You fixed the toaster with duct tape?

Freed: It worked, dinit?

-He doesn’t mention that he also added runes to it too explicitly because it’s funny. 

-There’s a lot of stuff like this: “You dumb mother fucker, how did I fall for you?” “Because you tripped.” 

-If you insult one of them, you better believe the other will roast you so thuroughly that a bonfire wouldn’t compare all while the one of them you insulted kicks your ass into the stratsophere. 

-They both have so much respect for each other. So. Much. Respect. They’re completely honest when alone, no sarcasm, no half insults, just them. 

- Even when not alone, they fully trust each other. There’s no one else they trust to have their back the same way, even if Ever and Bicks are close seconds. No one can pick apart their mind and thought process the same way, and it comes from the fact that they argued so much before they were in sync with each other. 

-Once they get to the point of being in sync with one another (let’s be real, it propbably only takes like a year) nothing can get in their way. 

-Freed’s captain of the Raijinshuu for a reason goddamn it, and it’s not just because he and Laxus are together. It’s because he’s strong as fuck, should have been fucking S class, and he’s one of the only people who can talk sense into Laxus. 

-is the last bit partially because they’re together? Yeah probably, but Freed and Laxus are equals damn it. He could at the very least, tie a fight with Laxus. 

[draganasimpsforjeff]

Hello! May I please have a creepypasta romantic match-up with some nsfw if your comfortable with it? Tysm in advance and I'm in love with your writing, like how is it so good?! Anyways I hope you have a great day/night and tysm once again!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight (For now might be bi but i'm going with straight)

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back.

I have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting. Sometimes in the middle of the night you can find me just staring at a wall or something because I can't go to sleep.....I have trouble sleeping.....

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything.

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider.

So for the nsfw part (Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to write for it!)....I'm very shy and i'd like it if someone guided me. But i'm 100% a Bottom and I love praise and maybe a tiny bit of degradation. I also have a big ownership kink like if someone tells me that i'm their's....then I might die. I'm also a sucker for marking like lovebites and hickies? Yes please. But please tease me and edge me because I prefer not having control so someone else being in control is just...lovely. Also pet names! Like Sunshine, Babygirl, Doll....AHHhh I might melt.

-From 🎇Sparkle Anon🎇

Ah thank you so much! LOL I feel like we would be good friends bc of so much similarities, hope.you like this!

But anyways I match you up with-

🥁🥁🥁

Hoodie/Brian

SFW

This man ain't gonna lie you sometimes remind him a female version of his best friend Tim/ Masky but like in a good way (bc of your style and music choice)

Your foolishness is the ultimate thing he loves about you

He is scared to leave you by yourself sometimes since you are a klutz

But luckily he knows just enough about first aid so if you have a deep enough cut or something to that measure he's got you 😉😊

At first he would be scared to initiate conversation bc of your very beautiful but deadly looking "resting bitch face"

But once you started talking to him more he would feel a lot more comfortable coming around and just knew that's your cover around new people

Definitely teases you about your height 🤭 (he's 5'11 in my hc)

Is that type of cliche dude to rest his arm on you or would purchase a step ladder for you

Something could be an inch off your reach and he'll feel the need to tease you about it (all in good fun tho)

Hunny, he definitely gets the whole having difficulties talking about whats bothering as he does it too, he'll just try to figure out other ways to make you express what you're feeling. (Through healthy ways ofc)

He has anxiety too so yeah babe he gets it 😌

Sorry love but he kind of likes spiders soooo he would be that asshole that would pick one up and put it in your hair or shoulder without you noticing. (And now I have to do this don't kill me)

NSFW

Oooo darling ♥

He would love to mark you up

He love to be called his? Good cuz he was going to call you that either way even if you were friends or friends with benefits

What you got between your legs belongs to him

He loves how small you are since he's kind of toned and tall and you're like this little petite thing he can just throw around 😊

He understands if you're shy or don't feel comfortable being in control, he'll take over

Will say though, he'll probably suggest taking some sort of drug or anything to influence your senses so you feel more comfortable in your skin at some point or another

Especially since it's a very rare thing for him to see but he won't push too much

WILL 👏 FUCKING 👏 CALL 👏 YOU 👏 PET NAMES IN FRONT OF ANYONE

He doesn't care who hears or sees it since he would love to be caught ngl.

"I don't know why you're all dressed, doll, those clothes are gonna be in shreds and uses as gags or restraints"

Will take pics of you with his phone and has no shame having a very naked you in some angle displayed as his lock screen

Cockwarms you a lot especially when he's cleaning his guns

You just seem him there all busy taking care of something else and not you while his big ol dick stretches you

🥴🥴🥴 this man would choose to be suffocated between your thighs babe

Often squeezes them and ohohoh if you wear skirts or something showing them be prepared to be teased anywhere anytime

Hell even do it in front of others fuuuck he'd even eat you out while others are in the room.

"You're so tasty babygirl, I could eat you out all day and night"

[ddarker-dreams]

How would the team react to SR reader taking them to a trip back to their home? For instance, I'm from NY, so I would definitely take them or M&M world or something fun 😊.

NONNIE THIS IS SO CUTE !! SR Reader would want to take everyone to an area she thinks they’d like!! It’d be a very chaotic trip. Maybe an Everyone Lives AU type of special. Lemme go over my thoughts...

If you’re travelling with Giorno, you’re gonna be travelling in style. Man is packing the big bucks. He just tells you to bring him wherever you want. Might be a bit disappointed that the others are tagging along at first, but still has plans to get alone time with you :) he’s the least likely to want to go anywhere specific. He’s gonna be harshly judging any of the food you recommend, but doesn’t ever tell you lmao. Just flashes you a charming smile and says it’s wonderful while going on an internal Gordon Ramsey monologue over the flavors and presentation. He’d secretly like places that specialize in sweets, and should you catch onto this, would make feeble attempts at dismissing it. Despite all the fancy food he can afford, he has a soft spot for smores you made for him!! Thought it was the cutest thing ever :’)))) especially when you were blowing on the marshmallows to set the fire off. The moment was ruined by Narancia mourning his marshmallow that fell into the fire...  

Mista is going to want to visit Hollywood 100%. This man is a cinema addict and nothing can convince me otherwise. He’s going to be finding areas that appeared in his favorite movies and dragging you (and maybe a few other unlucky people, probably Fugo) along for the ride. Sex Pistols are gonna embarrass him by reenacting his favorite scenes lmao. He’d want to go to Griffith’s Observatory to reminiscence about Rebel Without a Cause and won’t shut up about the movie the entire time. Mista fits in with the lackadaisical air of LA a little too perfectly, and you keep telling him to change out of his sweater because it’s gonna be hot. But he doesn’t. Mista is gonna be so tilted when he finds out his favorite Clint Eastwood doesn’t have a star on the Walk of Fame... you didn’t have the heart to tell him at first. He’s also sad that he can’t legally drink in the states LMAOO

“[First], so let me get this straight. I can carry my pistol around openly here, but I can’t legally drink?” 

“Couldn’t have explained it better myself, Mista.” 

Narancia is another person who would be excited to visit areas in California the most. He’s more into music, so he’s going to want to tour all the big studios (and gets bored when he doesn’t spot any celebrities like he expected). Also the most likely to be disappointed with California prices. When you explain to him how much he needs to pay in USD for a meal he’s gonna gape at you like you have two heads. 

“W-what? That much for a burger and fries? This has to be a crime! Bucciarati, come talk some sense into this guy!” 

“Narancia, no, don’t beat up the Americans--” 

He’d also be interested in New York!! Specifically in areas that hold cultural significance for hip hop like the Bronx. He thinks it’s the coolest thing ever. Might stand out a little too much but it’s okay he’s having fun. Narancia would be suffering on the east coast, since a lot of people there are prickly. If anyone bumps into him in New York, you’re gonna have to deescalate lmao. He’d also want to visit places like Hershey Park, Six Flags, etc... you’re gonna have to explain to him that they’re all very far apart. Narancia wants to drag you on rollercoasters, god help your soul ... (if you refuse, he’ll settle on Mista joining him. Emphasis on settle). You might need to get him a shirt that says “If lost, return to [First]” for him, and a “I’m [First]” for yourself. 

Trish is another one from the group who is most interested in visiting New York. She fits in perfectly, unlike Narancia. She can keep up with the walking speed there too lmao. Trish is gonna drag you into countless fashion stores, and take selfies with you at Times Square. If anyone tries to cat call her... well, she’s gonna have you defending her honor. Trish is gonna want to go to Tiffany’s, and Radio City music hall to see a concert. She actually speaks English pretty well! She has a cute little accent on some words, but when you tell her that, she gives you a >:( look. Anyways you’d both be looking like models next to one another. A few people have come up to Trish, asking if they’ve seen her in magazines or something... smh... it’s your job to flirt with her so you shoo them off in English >:) 

God... Bruno would be so adorable. He wants to explore the beaches!! When you’re asking where he wants to go, he’ll mention these places. The Outer Banks, Ocean City (until you tell him he’s gonna be greatly disappointed if you go there), Honolulu, and the Santa Monica beaches. He likes sitting on the piers and feeling the ocean breeze, and trying the boardwalk food!! He thrives the most in Southern states since he likes the warmer places. 

The state I see him liking the most should he visit is Maryland. He’d be prancing around the inner harbor, enjoying all the outdoor cafes and feasting on seafood. Just be sure to teach him how to eat crabs properly :’) the gang eating crabs is a mess. The waiter brings wooden hammers, and Narancia starts SMACKING the FUCK out of that steamed crab. You have to explain to him it’s not meant to be used like that... Mista tries using it like a judge’s gavel to make you laugh. Fugo and Abbacchio are leaving the table so as not to associate with them... 

Fugo is gonna be embarrassed by everyone else’s shenangins. He fits in the frigid temperament a lot of East Coasters have. He’d be the most interested in visiting Boston for its historical importance, and touring the various colleges there. He prefers Boston over New York and LA, he’s a bit of a snob... is gonna be internally screaming over the stupidly complicated way of getting around. Why is the train system here so archaic?? Who designed this?? He wants to have a word with them. Fugo isn’t big on city life though, so he might want to visit somewhere more rural. Perhaps... Florida... ahaha... jk... unless? 

Abbacchio is going to want to visit New Orleans and nothing can convince me otherwise. I headcanon that he’s a big fan of jazz. So he’ll be hanging out in notable jazz clubs, sipping on fine wine, enjoying the music with you. He appreciates how the music transcends language. Especially since he feels weird constantly badgering you or Fugo, the best English speakers, to translate stuff for him. He might be a little bit smug that he’s able to drink alcohol unlike Mista, who is still greatly offended by not being able to drink. 

[creepypocky]

Hello dear! May I have a romantic and Nsfw creepypasta match-up please? Feel free to ignore this if they are closed but if you do choose to do this then thank you so much! I hope you have a great day/night!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight (For now might be bi but i'm going with straight)

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm a big extrovert, goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back. I can have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting.

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything. Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider.

So for the nsfw part.....I'm very shy and i'd like it if someone guided me. But i'm 100% a Bottom and I love praise and maybe a tiny bit of degradation. I also have a big ownership kink like if someone tells me that i'm their's....then I might die. Also if they told me that they "Needed" me I would also die on the spot...in a good way. I'm also a sucker for marking like lovebites and hickies? Yes please. But please tease me and edge me because I prefer not having control so someone else being in control is just...lovely. Also pet names! Like Sunshine, Babygirl, Doll....AHHhh I might melt. Things I don't like are impact play or the whole "Daddy kink" It kinda just makes me cringe

I also don't think I really have a type but.....I do tend to love people who are brooding, and intimidating on the outside but a big teddy bear on the inside because that's how I am sometimes. I hate people who are fake or just passive aggressive because they are super annoying to deal with and honestly if you have something to say then just say it to my face rather than behind my back.

Hello :)

|| I enjoyed reading through this. I'll definitely work on it now. ||

I match you with ~ Jeff The Killer!

First off, he really likes your size and style, he has a think for small girls that can still be tough and that’s something he loves showing off when you get together lmfao, he’s like, “Yeah, my girls strong. Fuck you gonna do about it?”

Now, Jeff is a really unstable, violent guy. A lot of people (even me) don’t even see him ever being interested in being in a relationship, so when the creeps saw Jeff with his arm around you, they were immediately baffled by it.

The truth is, though, this man totally wants to have someone by his side, someone that accepts him even though he’s a killer. Someone that’s open to his feelings and is willing to look past all of the horrible shit he’s done.

You’re like that to him, it took him a very long time to get used to how he felt for you at first. At first he thought his brain was just being stupid, but Jeff isn’t dumb. He knows what these feelings feel like, and he recognized them almost immediately after that.

Jeff is really insane, and he constantly leans on you for support and depends on you to keep him leveled at times. It can get pressuring, but despite it all he always makes sure to not blame you if he ends up doing something dumb because he knows it’s not your fault.

He finds your clothing style pretty hot, he really loves badass kind of outfits with leather and band names, because as I said, he loves to show off that his girl is “cool” or something.

He thinks your resting bitch-face and cold exterior is really badass too, being around you always gives him so much confidence and its a great change from the usual fake confidence he has around everyone that he keeps up as a defense mechanism when in reality he was always pretty insecure.

I honestly think Jeff is an extrovert too, like he loves being around people and interacting with them (When they’re not normal people and don’t think he’s hideous, that is). I canon this mostly because when hes alone, then he’s also alone with his thoughts and his thoughts always end up wandering to his insecurities and what he hates about himself, but you often catch him during these times and you reassure him that everything will be okay and that you still love him.

He totally relates to being the friend that says stupidest shit, you two will often just go up to one of the creeps and just start spouting random shit. He honestly fucking loves being goofy with you, and you two are always creating awesome memories together when you prank the other creeps and sometimes each other and he honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

When you do stupid shit that gets you in trouble or puts you in danger, he’s always quick to get to you and make sure you’re okay, he would probably panic a lot though. Like, “What the fuck, dumbass?” “How the HELL did you do that???“ as he’s frantically trying to solve the situation. Will most definitely sit there and laugh at you for a good 5-10 minutes once the whole thing is dealt with though.

You being able to stick up for your friends is one of the great qualities about you that he absolutely adores, especially since before he became a killer he would always get bullied and nobody would ever stick up for him, so one day when you defend him against a bunch of assholes it just warms his heart up and makes him feel so loved, but he most likely wont admit that.

He’d let it slip eventually though.

When you’re feeling self-destructive, he is 100% there for you. Although he’s not really the best at giving advice, he’ll still sit there with you and let you talk your heart out and will listen to every single word because he wants to show that same contribution towards you that you’ve shown him. He’ll constantly reassure you that not everything is your fault and that you’re strong, and he’ll make little promises to you.

If it was a person in particular making you feel that way though, he’d definitely make sure to pay a visit to the motherfucker.

He admires your determination to fight for the things you want, but to an extent. He hates it when you overwork yourself or push beyond your limits to the point where it destroys you, and he wants you to know that you’re not alone and you can ask for help, you don’t have to destroy yourself. He’s more than willing to stay right there, by your side.

He understands hiding your true emotions, because well, he’s had to do it a lot around the other creeps and around his family when they were still alive. So he won’t ever push you to talk about somehting if you don’t want to, but he doesn’t want you to pretend to be okay either. He’s more than willing to just lay with you and do whatever you want if it would make you feel better.

He honestly likes how you have a southern accent at times, when he’s feeling upset or like his sanity is draining, your accent really soothes him so sometimes he’ll ask you to lay it on thick because he could honestly listen to you talk to him and listen to your accent all day if he wanted to.

It’s good that you like cigarette smoke because I canon this man smokes very often.

When it storms at night, he’ll always hold you close to him with a blanket and just listen to the storm sounds with you because it soothes him too. This man is really pent up from feeling driven to constantly murder and just sitting with you listening to the rain and thunder is one of the main things that level him.

He’s really not the best.... at cooking.... but, this means you can cook often for him since he won’t for himself. B)

He will just put you in a car and drive for hours to no destination and blast that 80s and 90s music just to see that smile on your face.

This man will 100000000000% destroy any spider within a 10 mile radius of you.

He understands not liking people who are fake because there were a lot of people who talked shit about him when he went to school, and when he has a problem with someone he will always say it to their face and make them understand that they’re a piece of shit to him.

NSFW:

You like being dominated and guided? Good, because this man is at least 95% a top. He thinks it’s adorable that you’re shy and will most definitely be willing to guide you through the whole thing and tell you exactly what to do for him.

Jeff is really possessive tbh, so when he’s fucking you he will constantly say shit like,

“Fucking mine”

“You’re nobody elses“

“You belong to me, only”

This man will definitely bite you everywhere, he lives to just throw you down onto the bed and start biting everywhere on your body and making sure to leave marks just so you know exactly who owns you.

Don’t worry honey, he will spend hours just filling you with his cock and telling you that you cant cum unless you beg more, or he’ll just pull out right when you’re about to cum on him and just slap your folds with his fingers as a way to make fun of you.

He’ll call you things like, “baby” “dollface” “darling” when he’s feeling passionate but oh boy if he’s feeling angry or he’s punishing you? Be prepared to be degraded all night.

There we go <3

Sorry if this is too long lmfao, I just think that Jeff is a really misunderstood piece of shit. I hope you’re having a great day and taking care of yourself, and I hope you enjoyed this matchup. :)

[the-queen-of-fools]

Coffee & Cowboys

Chapter 1

— — —

Word Count: 1600 Pairing: Jack ‘Agent Whiskey’ Daniels x English f!Reader (no y/n, no descriptions beyond accent) Rating: Mature (For language and themes. Might become explicit at some point) Warnings: Swearing; slow burn; angst; mentions of death; mentions of afterlife; mentions of alcohol; post-movie; AU

A/N: Slow burn. Meta / self aware-ish. I have no plan. First time writing Whiskey. No idea how often this series will be posted. (I’m English, and I liked the contrast with our ‘Southern charm’-filled cowboy, so the reader is English too…)

— — —

Saturday started like any other. No alarm, so you wake feeling refreshed and ready for the nothing you have planned. A nice long lie in, read for a bit in bed, hot shower, and very comfy clothes. You walk downstairs and into the kitchen as usual, eager to drink the glorious caffeinated nectar of life, when you stop abruptly. There’s a man stood there. His back to you, showing off some rather tight jeans, broad shoulders in a dark denim jacket and what looks like a stetson. Who the fuck wears a stetson? “What the fuck? Who are you? What are you doing in my house?” You yell, as you pick up the first thing you can find in reach - a chopping board. A chopping board? What? He turns around, face slack. You grabs a jar and throw it at him. It flies straight through him and hits the wall behind, glass shattering and coffee spreading everywhere. You’re both just staring now, right where the jar should have stopped on his body. Your eyes meet his, matching expressions of pure shock on your faces. 

Uh... no. You shake your head and turn, running back upstairs and shutting your bedroom door behind you. You slide the lock in place, and dive back in to bed. Still holding the damn chopping board, you throw the duvet over your head and squeeze your eyes shut. You’re asleep. You have to be. You’re asleep, and dreaming of your nice relaxing morning routine. When you open your eyes again you can start the day right, have another lie in, a nice shower, and then a coffee without any men in your kitchen. Deep breath in, out, eyes open.  Sitting up, throwing the duvet off, you look up and fuck! There he is, stetson and all.  “Where am I?” A southern drawl crosses the room to you. It’s deep, and velvety, and if you’d heard it at a bar you’re sure you’d feel very differently about it. But in your bedroom?  “Why are you here?” “Where IS here?”  “How did you get in, anyway? The door was locked?” That stops him.  His face softens slightly as he looks at you and says, “I... don’t know.” He furrows his brows, two deep set lines forming between them. He’s staring at the door, and when you lean forward you can just about see that the lock is still in place. “Did you walk through the door?” You whisper. He’s silent, still staring. “Are you a ghost?” That gets a reaction. He whips his head around, and glares at you now.  “No.” “Are you sure?” His brow furrows again, face changing from its glare to a more fearful look as he whispers back to you. “…No.”

…

You’re both in your living room now. It’s taken over an hour to get you both to the stage you can share a room without shouting or throwing things. That would have been hard to explain to neighbours or your housemate. Admittedly, he calmed down quicker than you did. You’re pretty sure an existential crisis will do that to you. Plus, the novelty of throwing things through him took longer to wear off than you thought. Grasping tightly on your coffee (finally), the mystery ghost man paces in front of you. “You’re making me dizzy, would you stop?” You ask. He stops moving, sighs deeply and sits down on the chair across the room. “Huh.”  “What?” He replies sharply. “Just curious why a jar goes through, or a pillow, or a chopping board, and you seem to be able to walk through doors without thinking about it, but you can still sit on a chair without falling through.” You explain to him, taking another sip of coffee. “Stupid metaphysical contradictions,” you grumble to yourself, and it actually brings out a slight chuckle from the man, who quickly tries his best to hide it. He shrugs. “Well, darlin’, I know nothin’ more than you.” “Don’t call me darling, cowboy.” “Cowboy?” His brows shoot up, a smirk lifting one side of his moustache slightly. “Because of the hat?” “And the accent. Thought you might prefer it to Ghost Boy... or Creepy McGee.” Another little chuckle falls from his lips as he leans forward, and looks at you. “You did follow me straight to my bedroom before. Creepy McGee would be a kind name for that.” “Cowboy is fine, sugar. Thanks, I guess.” “Ew. That’s worse than darling.” You finish the rest of your coffee in one mouthful, and look over to the man as he stands. “I’m still not convinced you’re real, just so you know.”  “What are the options then, darlin’? Ghost or what, exactly?” Or what, indeed. “And more importantly, how do I get back home?”  “The way I see it, we have three options.” “Based on what?” His hands are on his hips, and you forget for a second that he might not be there, he might not even exist. The breadth of his shoulders exaggerating the narrowness of his hands on his hips. Shit. Why couldn’t you have just met him in a bar instead? Why did he have to appear in your kitchen? He clears his throat, jolting you back to reality and you flush at the idea he’s just been watching you stare at him. The stupid smirk is back. “See something you like, darlin’?” He says, with a stupider wink. 

Ignoring him and his smug face, you begin. “Option One: I’m having some sort of mental health crisis and you’re a figment of my imagination. A symptom, if you will. Option two: You’re dead. You’re a ghost and, for whatever reason, you’re haunting me. Or, option number three,” you pause, “You’re not dead.” “Preferable, from my point of view.” He interjects, frowning. “Option three is more like, you’re not dead, but you’re close. Like you’re in a coma, but you’re still sort of haunting me. An apparition, astral projection, you know?” He’s nodding along, but silent, and still frowning. “Let’s rule out option one, I have no history of visual or auditory hallucinations, nor a family history of such things. So. Onto option two; there is a fairly wide and agreed consensus about ghosts, so we have ideas on next steps. Option three may be a little trickier though...” You trail off, placing your empty mug on the table in front of you. You stand, and walk over to a shelf to vaguely look at the DVDs. “Why is that one trickier?” He asks, sitting down onto the chair again. “Resources, mostly.” You tell him, over your shoulder. “There’s a lot of hauntings in film and TV, so a decent amount of lore to look into and test. But apparitions not so much.” You turn to him, and shrug. “Wait.” He says, processing what you’ve told him. “Film and TV? Those are your resources?” “Oh. I’m sorry. You got a library book recommendation? Name and number of an expert, perhaps?” You are just met with a huff and Ghost Cowboy just folds his arms and leans back. “Uncharted territory here, Mr Grumpy.” The look that replaces the sulk is priceless. “Sorry, sugar. But I think I’ll get my own answers.” He stands up and walks to the front door. His hands passes straight through the handle, so he sighs, and just walks forward. He can’t get through it though, hitting it like he would usually instead. Another sigh as he turns to you. “What now?”

…

He’s pacing again as you voice each thought crossing your mind. “So. Physical limitation to a place: ‘Beetlejuice’, ‘The Others’... Pretty common trope.” You pause. “Ooh, can we try something?” He stops his pacing and looks at you with a huff.  “Why not?” He says, throwing his hand out. “It’s not like it can get fuckin’ worse.” You stand and walk to the door. You open it, and walk back, past Mr Grumpy-Ghost-Cowboy, to the other end of the room. “Try to go through.” He does, hitting the invisible barrier. “Okay,” you move next to the open door, “try now.” He isn’t happy, but he tries again anyway. Nothing, still stuck. “Fine.” You move to the other side of the doorway, into your front garden. “One more time?” You raise your eyebrows and try to look sweet and innocent. “Please, Cowboy?” His hands are back on his hips. “Last time, English.” You nod, ignoring the newest nickname. It is decidedly better than darling and sugar, anyway. He tries again, and success. The cowboy walks through the door without any resistance. He looks shocked, and tries to walk further, perhaps out of your life forever. He’s stopped, again, at the wall. “Huh. Interesting.” You walk back inside your house, the ghostly intruder following you after a moment of pushing the solid air. “Very interesting. You weren’t dragged back by my reentering the house.” You close the door again, and move back to sit on the sofa. “So. We’re looking at… limited physical proximity to a specific person instead: ‘Heart and Souls’, ‘Just Like Heaven’, maybe? Sort of. Not quite.” You start to mumble to yourself, before lifting your head and looking directly at your guest. “I’m going to plan a movie marathon.” The ghost cowboy just shakes his head, frowning more than you thought possible. Any more, you think, and his eyebrows will start to fold in on themselves. “Look,” you tell him, “you’re not in pain, and you’re not fading away. I’m dealing in my own way, but I’m open to suggestions.” “Alcohol. Whiskey. Lots of it.”  “A cowboy who likes whiskey. Groundbreaking.”