#and hey! dogboy. there ya go

[docorpheus]

>continue. hey what the fuck

You shout at her from your end of the clearing.

ORPHEUS: WHAT THE FUCK. CATHERINE: Sup, dogboy.

She approaches, yet it doesn't seem aggressive.

CATHERINE: I need you to get big old Cerberus out of the radio for me, will ya? ORPHEUS: I-

You don't know what the fuck is going on. Why is she here??? HOW is she here??? How the fuck did she find out where his grave was? You know I didn't put the exact location on the blog, so HOW? Why does SHE get to know where you're supposed to go. You growl and ruffle the fur on your head.

ORPHEUS: WHY?

You point at her. You couldn't give a single fuck that you're seething through your teeth right now.

ORPHEUS: HOW DID YOU GET HERE??? ORPHEUS: YOU KNOW I'M DOING THIS TO END YOUR APOCALYPSE, RIGHT??? YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING AFRAID OF ME!! ORPHEUS: I HAD TO GO THROUGH A FUCKING DOMAIN FOR THIS SHIT AND YOU'RE JUST HERE?!?! ORPHEUS: WHY?!

You had no clue she would be here. Why the fuck is she here?? Is she going to try and do something with the radios??? No. Only YOU can do shit with the radios.

She shrugs.

CATHERINE: Learn to teleport, Dipshit. I have my own reasons. CATHERINE: Now be a good boy and do what you came here to do!

She tosses the radio to you with a smirk on her face.

It hits you right in the chest, but you catch it anyway. You look at it. You hate feeling like this. You'd bet she's laughing her ass off at how confused you look.

ORPHEUS: I-

You growl and glare at her.

ORPHEUS: Why. Why? Why. Tell me why. Why should I do it. Why do you want this. Why? Tell me!!!

You accidentally bark that last part out, but... it's fine. You couldn't care less.

She crosses her arms.

CATHERINE: Fuck around and find out, Orpheus. CATHERINE: That's what you've been doing, isn't it?

She smiles. She smiles at you. She's smiling at you. Like she's supposed to be fucking CLEVER or something.

You take a step back, looking between her and the grave.

ORPHEUS: Fucking-

You growl, involuntarily blowing smoke out of your mouth and nostrils. You throw the radio to the ground and, in an instant, Lucifer's Rapier is raised above your head.

ORPHEUS: FINE!

COMBAT AHEAD.

> CONTINUE

[cartoonsaint]

Species swap frenrey? ✨

i'm workin on an AI Gordon AU elsewhere so here's like 5k about how it'd be if in my Not a Game fic Invasive Species Gordon were The Creature instead :D found it a very interesting and fun challenge! rated T and features swearing, major identity issues, major character sort-of-de.ath, some extremely embarrassing interpersonal interactions, ~paranoid person is RIGHT but not believed, and some good old narrative-breaking. unfortunately it is barely Frenrey bc i had so much fun w the rest of it, but thanks for prompting this :)

For every possibility, a universe— and for every universe, a near-infinite number of stories. This one, however, may be somewhat familiar to you, for it begins with a strange, super-adaptive but unintelligent creature falling through a plot hole into a dimension much like your own. It has evolved to consume the DNA of other living beings, which it then incorporates into its own body plan, and its limited but powerful psychic abilities ("sweet voice," as you may know them) ensure that its success and efficiency in this task. In the small forest outside of Seattle in which this creature finds itself, it takes very little time for it to consume plant matter, birds, reptiles, mammals, and more, adding and subtracting traits to its own amorphous form, becoming something new and unique that if left unchecked could eat the whole of this world—

Until the G-Man, tasked as always with the protection of his particular universe and dimension, destroys it. What he fails to notice, though, is that this being created another of its kind, a single cell that it left behind with that same instinctual drive to consume and grow…

But this time, things are different.

The tiny invading creature eats, adapts, becomes multicellular, and then tries its nonexistent hand at being the seed of a plant— specifically, the migratory seed of the dandelion. It is lifted up into the air, where an easterly wind catches it and carries it away from the little woods wherein plays the seven-year-old who will become Gordon Freeman (and whom, eventually, the creature will become as well). It is deposited in a different environment with new things to eat and become, a greater variety of prey and potential adaptations.

Like this, it learns that to travel is beneficial. It keeps up this habit as it grows and develops, heading further east each time it gets bored (which happens often, with the personality it begins to evolve), taking its time enjoying what life has to offer it and coming to love the little planet it calls home, until a year or two down the line it finds itself in the shape of a particularly small, scruffy terrier-mix somewhere along the border between Michigan and Ontario.

In this particular universe, the birth certificate of one Henry LeVrai was scribbled a little too quickly and the "H" was incorrectly notated as a "B." His family found this amusing and accepted that their child had been officially christened "Benry." And one warm spring morning our young Benry, roundabout seven years old now, is out playing in the sandy mud when he and our little creature stumble upon one another.

Benry is a calm, patient little kid who's not so good with people yet but quite fond of animals, with their simple and straightforward feelings and desires. The creature is quite anxious about being killed (it hurts!!) and thus tends to avoid humans, but it's also filled with dog instincts right now. Benry's quiet patience, total disregard for human social rules, and willingness to play fetch draws our creature in, and they end up sticking together and goofing off for the rest of the day. When the time comes for Benry to go home, our little creature acts as though it doesn't care… but it follows after him all the same.

The creature acts as a semi-stray dog for nearly a year. It and Benry goof off together, two children in the sand and the mud, trusting one another completely despite the fact that one of them is human and the other a hyper-carnivorous shapeshifting monster pretending to be a dog. Though gentleness does not come naturally to the creature, it does its best not to hurt Benry, sheathing away its teeth and claws when they wrestle so that its friend is never injured even when it gets to be quite a bit larger and more rambunctious than him. It never gets a taste of Benry's blood, never realizes that in doing so it could have kept track of its best friend when they are inevitably separated.

For indeed, separated they will be. The G-Man is notified of the creature's existence and is made responsible for its destruction. When one day, mid-play, the world around the creature goes teal-still and all time freezes except for itself, the creature's old instincts for survival meet with its building intelligence. It hides. And when the G-Man, the only other moving thing under this time-stop, shows no interest in its human companion, it understands that what the G-Man hunts is itself.

It flees. From Benry’s perspective, he turns away from his friend for just a second— and when he turns back, it’s completely and utterly gone.

And for many years that’s how it goes. The creature hides its nature as best it can, doing its damnedest to look and be normal, but in this universe there are no time travel shenanigans caused by the creature's friendship with young Tommy and thus the G-Man is never introduced to the boy who in other dimensions would be his son. With fewer distractions and less light in his life, the G-Man is ruthless. He tracks down memories, uses Wikipedias Secret, More Secret, and Even More Secret to locate the creature, which in turn realizes that closeness to humans often means being found more quickly. The creature can eke out only a year or two at a time of freedom before it is once more tracked down and once more must flee, further and further away from mankind.

(An aside: in this particular universe Tommy remains in foster care until he ages out. Without the G-Man’s intervention he never receives the support he needs— he’s still brilliant, but his school grades don’t necessarily reflect that. To make his way into the field of biology as he has always wanted, he must look for outside assistance— which the U.S. military is happy to provide, in return for his work, his time, and his promise of acting as liaison to a company they occasionally work with called Black Mesa…)

Which brings us to just a few weeks before the Resonance Cascade.

Gordon Freeman, grown man and single father, shoves his shoulder into one of the many blocked-off side-doors out of Black Mesa, bursting out into the cool February air of the New Mexico desert. He's not supposed to use this door, he knows— security reasons or something, he can't remember, whatever— but he had to stay late today because he accidentally spilled coffee all over the tunnel diode resonator and he got caught and had to disinfect the whole thing even though it wasn’t his fucking fault, okay!! Like, he’s under a lot of stress anyways and then he realized way too late today that he’d failed to properly zip up his pants this morning and so had been just, fucking, packer out for several hours and no one had bothered to fucking tell him because no one fucking likes him and he's supposed to pick Joshie up from daycare in ten minutes but because he had to disinfect all the stupid fiddly bits of the resonator he missed the tram at his normal spot so he's gonna have to leg it over to the next pickup, which is outside and like halfway across the fucking campus that he still doesn't have a good mental map of—

The creature, who had been dozing in the shape of a rust-furred coyote in a cozy little outside corner made by the building's weird architecture, wakes up with a jerk and finds itself suddenly cornered by the open door and the human who has just spotted it.

"Oh shit, a dog!!” Gordon says, delight overriding all sense. He takes an unthinking step closer as the creature, backed into a corner and not yet awake enough to think properly, raises its hackles and opens its mouth wide, wider, wider than should be possible— Gordon has just enough time to say, "Oh, shit, not a dog, what the fuck—"

And then the world goes teal-still.

The creature has no way of knowing that the G-Man is not here to hunt the creature but is instead doing reconnaissance on a new job. It cannot know that his time-stop will be up only long enough for him to exit his train and banish it. Though many years ago it did play with the young human Benry, it never had anyone like Tommy to lovingly teach it intelligence and morality; it has no compunction against killing and consuming a human being. It is simply a wild creature, something alien, and it reacts as best it can with the information it knows.

And what it knows is that its instincts to FLEE-HIDE-DEFENDSELF are triggered all at once and that the frozen, defenseless Gordon is both a threat and in the way. Is it any wonder, then, that this is how Gordon Freeman dies?

Except: this creature has not been gradually fed a diet of the eggs of intelligent animals, allowing it to smarten up while maintaining its own personality, and is instead accustomed to hiding by exactly mimicking the behavior of that which it eats. Except: the creature only has about three seconds between when it consumes Gordon Freeman entirely and when the time-stop drops and Gordon Freeman's brain, perfectly preserved, will kick back into gear. Except: this isn't a very smart alien creature that is attempting to subsume a prey that is bored with his life and has few attachments. This is an alien creature that has spent most of its life running, hiding, and pretending not to be alien, meeting the force of a very strong personality, an admittedly powerhouse brain, and several deep, deep attachments that this particular human will do anything to hang onto.

The time-stop drops. The not-coyote creature is gone; what is left is something human-shaped who was, just moments ago, Gordon Freeman. Whatever it is is also, immediately, having an extremely confusing panic attack.

FIGHT, it instincts demand but there’s nothing to fight, the threat of coyote and human both neutralized. HIDE, its instincts counter, but he’s a big guy, it’s not like he can fit into the tiny corner the creature was in, and anyways what good would that do against the freaky time-stopping human (?) that has been hunting it for nearly twenty years? FLEE, the instincts beg, but what the fuck, he’s not gonna just run out into the fucking desert without provisions like a fucking idiot, especially when he’s supposed to be picking up—

“Josh,” says what remains of Gordon Freeman, and dashes off in the direction of the next tram.

Against all odds, the being not only makes it in time but he’s barely breathing that hard. On the train full of other tired human scientists he holds onto the central pole, telling off the part of his brain that is panicking a bit more strongly than usual about being so close to so many other people, and tries to put together what the fuck just happened.

“There was a coyote,” it mutters under its breath, remembering this time to put a hand over his mouth to block the fact that he’s talking to himself. “Except it wasn’t actually a coyote, it was some kinda… Thing-thing, like from that one movie? And it was scared of the human— of me, and kinda thought he was that spooky g-man-type guy that can stop time which, uh, which… Which Gordon doesn’t know about. Uh, I don’t know about, I mean, so how the fuck do I…?” The train rocks to a stop and the creature gets out, mind racing and overfull with memories from two sides. “Did. Did I try to kill me?”

It remembers standing there, alarmed at the movements of the not-dog-not-coyote, about to back away. But he also remembers the sudden wash of turquoise that meant he was being hunted, his age-old desperation not to be found, how he stretched his form into something like a carnivorous plant and closed it around the human in his way, how he tasted blood and flesh and bone and the precious DNA that he could use to hide himself—

“DADDY,” someone shrieks, and wraps their arms around its legs. Gordon yelps (sounding decidedly more coyote-like than usual) as its instincts shriek DEFEND SELF and then WAIT and then !!!JOSHIE!!! FAMILY KIN KID PUP BABY JOSH JOSH JOSH! and the creature scoops his son up into a tight hug because it hasn’t gotten to be close to anyone or anything in many years and this is Joshie, its kid! Its favorite horrible little person!!! Whose father the creature, like, just killed!

Oh fuck, its instincts whimper as the creature— as Gordon— as whatever the fuck they are apologizes on auto-pilot to the daycare workers for being late (again) and hikes Joshua up onto its hip and brings him home to their shitty little two-person apartment on the edge of Black Mesa’s living quarters, simultaneously trying to stay calm and being just so psyched about what Joshie’s got to say.

It makes dinner for Gordon's kid. It hangs out with him for the rest of the evening, fetching him whatever he asks for (and maybe enjoying doing so a little more than usual), and helps him take a bath to rinse off all the sand he got into today. It cuddles with him on his bed as it reads him a bedtime story and brushes back his hair after he’s fallen asleep in his arms, snoring away like a miniature foghorn.

With utmost care the creature untangles itself from Gordon’s son and sneaks out of the room. It makes sure to close the door behind it very quietly.

Then it spends most of the rest of the night pacing, trying to get a handle on the fact that it isn’t Gordon Freeman, not really, because it’s actually some kind of super-adaptive unknown species that can completely transform its body on a cellular level and literally become other living things and it did so to Gordon by fucking eating him, and also it’s being hunted down by some dude who can stop time?? And it has all of Gordon’s memories and feelings and shit and it really feels like it’s Gordon but logically it also remembers eating him, which means that Gordon Freeman is fucking dead.

“I don’t feel dead, though,” Gordon says aloud, pacing his familiar pattern into the carpet. “And— and the voice just called me Gordon, so— so that means I am him— me— whatever, right?”

The creature tilts its head at the ceiling, dog-like, then scowls. “I— no, not dog-like,” it says loudly to no one. “Not— are, are you saying you’re no one? Cuz I can, I can hear you, I could hear you this whole time, even while I was a dog, I just didn’t underst— NOT that I was those dogs, or, that, they’re— those aren’t, aren’t my memories, Gordon’s, I just—”

It collapses in a chair, groaning and rubbing at the bridge of its nose. “This is so— look, can you, can you not call me ‘it,’ please? I, I already went through the whole gender thing in grad school— uh, or Gordon did, I guess? …Just— I don’t know if you can even hear me, but could we just… can we stick with ‘he’? Please?”

He waits hopefully, then sighs in relief. “Okay! Great. Thank you. And also I— I get that I, uh, I’m not. Really the, the human being that got, uh. Eaten. By me. But can we just— like, I’m not leaving Joshie. Or my job. Or my fucking life, man, so can we just— like, I’m, I’m, I, I’m sort of. I mean, I sort of am him, so can we— could you maybe just call me Gordon?” He bites his lip with dull teeth that look perfectly human. “Please?”

At the confirmation, Gordon’s shoulders loosen. “Okay,” he says, tired and stressed and still pretty darn miserable. “Thank you, mysterious narrating voice that has been following and telling the stories of all the dogs and shit I’ve ever been, that… like, I’m still a fucked up monster thing that ate myself, but. Being called 'he' is… something, at least.”

He leans back in his chair, considering for the first time the scope of the abilities he’s both intimately familiar with and pretty freaked out by. HIDE, his instincts warn, but there’s no humans around who could somehow share the secret with his hunter, and when faced with new scientific discovery Gordon Freeman’s always been… well, like a dog with a bone.

“That’s not funny,” Gordon says to his ceiling, even though it kind of is. “God, you know what, I don’t fucking need this—”

He tests the creature’s— tests his abilities out, little by little. It takes him the better part of several weeks to get re-used to everything as himself, but he has to admit that being able to smooth down the chest he’s been meaning for years to get top surgery on is a pretty cool ability. As is growing just tall enough to actually be a full six foot instead of something like five foot eleven and three quarters. And the mild psychic abilities are neat, too, especially once he figures out that he can tone down the “blue to subdue” to something that merely calms instead of flat-out hypnotizes prey.

“‘Blue to subdue’?” Gordon snorts to himself. “Why does it rhyme?”

Don’t worry about it. Besides that he finds that the instincts and personality of the creature he had been barely clash at all with those of Gordon Freeman. Sure, he feels just about everything more intensely and a bit more simply than Gordon used to, and his ability to packbond with things has kind of gone a little crazy, and if anyone throws anything there’s a 15% chance he’ll embarrass himself, but overall he’s still someone who really wants to be liked and isn’t sure how to make it happen, someone who’s very scared but too stubborn to give up, and someone who is remarkably intelligent in some regions and absolutely idiotic in others.

“Hey,” Gordon mutters, stung. He’s all dressed up for this stupid experiment Black Mesa's having him do and he's a little nervous about it, if only because he's encased in an airtight HEV suit and his instincts from years of needing to be ready to run at any moment are howling TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED. He's trying to calm them down by thinking about literally anything else— like, for instance, the fact that this experiment is going to change the course of his life forever. "...What? Uh, hey, what? Did youuu? Just say?"

"Said you can just go through, don't need your passport," says the guard, and Gordon jumps. He hadn’t even noticed there was another person on this end of the hallway.

"O-oh, right, sorry," he says, and strides past his oldest and best friend. Then he reels to a stop and whips around, staring.

The guard blinks up at him. He looks to be around Gordon's age, his face not quite freshly shaven, with slate gray eyes ringed by long lashes. Gordon's never been very good with faces and it's made worse by the fact that the guy's in the bland security guard uniform but now that he looks there is something familiar about him, even if Gordon's sure he wouldn't have forgotten someone who could be called his "oldest and best friend."

The guard shifts on his feet, his eyes sliding off of the glass of Gordon's helmet until he's frowning at his shoulder. "...you good, man?"

"Yyyeah," Gordon says slowly. FRIEND? say his old instincts with obvious tail-wagging hope, and admittedly Gordon's pretty curious himself. He's late for the test, but… well, late is late, right? "Uh, sorry, you said— did you say I, I don't need my… passport?"

"Yeah," says the guard, nodding at Gordon's chest. "S’new policy. But you’re in the company suit so s’fine. Not like you got pockets."

"Right, yeah. Thanks," Gordon says, brow furrowed, scrutinizing the other man. He’s looked away back down the hallway towards the guard at the other end like he expects that’s that, but Gordon’s not ready to let go of the narrator’s claim just yet. Could he have somehow missed some of the original Gordon Freeman’s memories? “Hey, are you… Do we, like. Know each other, or something?”

“Huh?” says the guard, eyes flitting to Gordon’s glass faceplate and away. “Uh, dunno… like, I work here?”

“Yeah, man, me too,” Gordon says, rolling his eyes. “But— look, I’m Gordon Freeman. I, I’ve got a test I’m supposed to be getting to, but— just, like, could you maybe tell me your name? …Please?”

The man looks at him, gray eyes wary, and something about that has the instincts in Gordon’s head saying :(! FRIEND CONFUSED BAD! MAKE FRIEND HAPPY HOW? Gordon barely resists the urge to growl at them, he’s fucking busy right now, can they not—

“Uh…… m’Benry,” the guard says, and the sound of the name brings back sudden, forceful memories of the creature’s too-short year as a semi-stray dog chasing after its quiet human child, back before the G-Man started hunting it, before it killed Gordon, back when all the creature ever wanted to do was play in the sand and the mud with its best friend.

Gordon has spent the past few weeks of his semi-new life as something inhuman doing his best to be human. But when faced with such strong, fond memories of a time before all that, old instincts shove themselves to the front.

“Oh holy fuckin— BENRY!!!” Gordon cries, nearly bowling the guy over as he pulls his old best friend to him as close as he can, putting his hands all over his face, chest, back, arms, anything he can reach. “Holy shit, man, it’s been forever!! How are you? What the hell are you doing here?? How did— like, what are the fucking odds, seriously, I never thought I’d see you again—” Gordon sets him back on his feet but holds on, petting his gloves in the short hair under the guy’s helmet, trying to sniff at Benry’s neck, see what he’s been up to, how he’s changed, all that, but the stupid HEV helmet is in the way. He whines, over-excited and frustrated and delighted. “Hi, dude, shit, hi! Hi! Fuck, it’s good to see you, hi—”

"Uh," Benry says. Hesitantly, he pats Gordon's back. "...Sup?"

"Hi!!" Gordon agrees. "Benry! Hi! Shit, man! Hey!"

"Yeah," Benrey says. "So, uhhh… You know me?"

"Yea, 'course, you're— oh, holy shit," Gordon says, feeling stupid. "The HEV helmet, right, sorry, hold on—"

He separates from Benry long enough to scrabble at the stupid release function and pull off his glass and metal prison with the shwoomph of released air. He shoves his hair out of his face, hoping it doesn't look too much like he forgot to brush it today, and grins widely at his old friend, expecting to be recognized at any second—

Only to be struck with the sudden realization that all Gordon's memories of bonding with that fun, goofy, patient little kid were from the perspective of an alien creature in the shape of a dog, from the life he had before he ate and killed and chose to replace the real Gordon Freeman. From Benry’s perspective, Gordon is a total stranger.

Which means that for all intents and purposes, Gordon has been acting like a complete and utter nutjob this entire goddamn time.

"Oh fuck I. Uh," Gordon starts, horrified, but against all odds Benry's eyes are widening. They dart between the features of Gordon's face, flickering with recognition, and the dog-creature Gordon had been for so long tenses in excitement. It wants Gordon to play-bow, to bark, to spin in circles, to lick Benry's face, PLEASE FRIEND PLEASE PLAY FRIEND PLEASE?

"Oh yeahhh," Benry says at last, and drops his gaze to Gordon's crotch. "Hot guy with the dick-slip."

"...what?" Gordon says. He looks down, but besides the helmet under his arm the HEV Suit is as sealed off as always. "Hot— dick— what?"

Benry’s shoulders have gone rigid. He's looking at the floor now very, very hard. “...hm?”

“Did you just say—”

“Huh? No,” Benry says, but Gordon’s earlier head-petting put his helmet askew and Gordon can see his ears turning red. “Wha? No, man, dunno what you’re even—”

"You did," Gordon says. "You did, you said— dick-slip? What the fuck are you—"

"No," Benry says, focusing very hard down the hallway now, towards the other guard. "Nuh-uh, you're. Hearing things, I dunno, don't you have uhhh. Test? Youuu, you should go—"

"No, wait, hang on," Gordon says as a memory from the last day of the old Gordon Freeman's life vaguely manifests. "Hang on, you— that day, with m— the guard— you?"

"No, bro, I— I'm on my shift here, this…" Benry fixes his helmet, obscuring his red face, but Gordon's caught scent of a memory and is tracking it down. "I'm jus— just tryna do my job, you got your thing, we don’t hafta—"

"You are! That was you! That day, my pac— my dick was out all day, no one told me, I spilled my fucking coffee everywhere when I realized, I had to stay late and then— but you!! You, you stopped me, that morning, and—" Gordon blinks. Something in his brain shifts. He stares down at Benry, who refuses eye contact. "You… you didn't even tell me."

"Man, I tried," Benry groans. "But you were all, all, ugh— and I was—"

"You let me walk around all day with my dick out," Gordon says, stepping further into Benry’s space. Benry leans back, lifting his head to keep Gordon in his sight, which gives Gordon a clear look at Benrey’s pale throat and wide eyes. Something old and hungry in Gordon’s brain lifts its lips. “Which then made me spill my coffee, which made me late, so I had to take the back way to catch the train on time, and then I fuckin'— then…” A growl rumbles in his throat.

“Woah, you, uh…” Benry’s back hits the wall. He swallows. “Nice— nice teeth, bro.”

“What?” Gordon says, then stiffens. He whips a hand up to cover his mouth, running his tongue along his teeth— and finds that they’re way bigger and sharper than human teeth, than Gordon’s teeth, are supposed to be. “Oh, shit. Uh.”

"Yeah," Benry breathes. His eyes are wide and dark, focused on the hand Gordon's using to cover his mouth.

HIDE! BE HUMAN, Gordon's instincts. Mentally swearing, he wills his stupid teeth back to their normal shape and size,. How the fuck is he gonna explain this? He double-checks his teeth are normal before lowering his hand to speak. “Uh, so—"

"Oh," Benry says, disappointed, and looks away.

Gordon blinks. He glances at the ceiling in astonishment, mind caught on one word. "Disappointed?" he repeats.

"Mh, a little," Benry replies, shrugging. "Kinda a bummer. S'fine."

Gordon blinks again, looking back at his childhood best friend. "Wh. What? Wait, what are you—”

"Hey, we all good over here?"

Gordon strangles a yelp and glances over his shoulder to see the other guard from the far end of the hallway, his expression blandly pleasant, his hands down and unthreatening even as one hovers conveniently over his firearm. What the fuck? Gordon’s trying to have a conversation with his old packmate here— no, he reminds himself, Benry doesn't actually know him, so this… He shakes his full head. "Yeah," he says impatiently. "Yeah, we're—"

"Aren’t you the one in the barrel today, doc?" The random guard tilts his head towards the route Gordon's supposed to be taking to the testing chamber where within the hour the fabric between this world and the alien borderworld Xen will be rent in two.

“Yeah, I—” Gordon jerks his gaze to the ceiling. "Where the— what?"

"The barrel? The test chamber, I mean," says the guard, glancing up at the plain ceiling too, frowning. "You alright, doc?"

"No, it’s— I mean—” Gordon looks between the guard and the ceiling (as if that will help), trying not to be too obvious. “Sorry, yeah, I’m fine, I was just— just, uhhh. Was just saying… saying hey, to my friend here." He gestures at Benry, who hasn't moved at all— maybe because Gordon's still crowding him up against the wall. "Oh, my bad, I—" Gordon takes a step back, unaware that if he continues like this he'll never get this close to Benry again.

D:?! whine Gordon's instincts, and aloud Gordon says, "Wait, what?"

“I didn’t say anything,” Benry says, eyeing Gordon, completely unaware that without Gordon's help he doesn't stand a chance of surviving the coming disaster.

Gordon makes a noise that is mostly whimper, part groan.

“You sure you’re alright, doc? LeVrai, maybe you oughta go call someone—”

“No!” Gordon barks out, putting himself in between Benry and the other guard. "No, no, I mean, he, I, I, I—" Inspiration strikes. "I!! Don't have my passport! He, I, he should, should come with me, shouldn't he? Right? I mean, it's the rules, isn't it?" Gordon looks to Benry for confirmation.

Benry merely blinks at him. "Uh…"

"I think in this case we can make an exception," the other guard says firmly. "Now let's all be calm, rational people about this, alright? We can figure out—"

"I— I'm not fucking— Don't talk to me like I'm crazy," Gordon snaps. "You, you don't understand, there's—" Think things through for a second, Gordon.

He cuts himself off. Then he thinks a carefully worded question very loudly, which does nothing. He huffs.

Benry pokes him in the back of his head, which is unfortunately close enough to being pet that Gordon's stupid instincts want him to lean into it. He wrestles down the urge as Benry speaks.

"Hey. Are you…?"

"No! Yes. Look, I don't want to—" He pinches the bridge of his nose. Gordon Freeman has always been an excellent mathematician, provided there aren't any distractions. Right now he's got himself, a narrator portending doom, old instincts from a life before he was himself, an old friend who doesn't know him, some random meddling guard, what sounds like a potentially apocalyptic disaster on the horizon (and it is. an apocalyptic disaster, I mean), and a social situation he'd be ill-equipped for even if he had never been a reality-breaking mildly psychic shapeshifting mega-predator that has spent most of its time in the family Canidae.

The point is: there’s no way to solve this equation where Gordon won’t end up short. And if he makes even one error, his old best friend is as good as dead.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, fine,” Gordon says, and turns to the guard that isn't his and sings an intensely blue psychic suggestion at him to CALM DOWN.

The creature was never particularly delicate with that ability and Gordon’s under enough stress as it is— he pours it on strong. The second the balls of light hit the guard’s startled face, the man’s eyes shutter close and he drops to the ground, breathing deep and even in sleep.

“Woah,” Benry says quietly. “...Think I used to have a dog who could do sumn like that."

“Yeah, well, I’m human,” Gordon snaps, instincts uneasy in his gut. “Okay? I’m human. Totally, completely, one hundred percent human being. Now let's fucking go."

bc there's no time travel shenanigans w tommy and g-man in this AU, tommy'd actually only be 26 :-) a baby! ANYWAYS a chapter of Invasive Species is next up on my to-write list, which i've been pretty good (if slow) about following for the last couple months, so we'll see! i'm really hopeful <3?

in the meantime if you're interested in a story about gordon being inhuman in the same way as benrey, might i suggest crowned-ladybug's sorrow in idle minds (solace in being heard)?

[frenchfrywrites]

When you’re late

MINORS DNI

warnings: top AMAB gn reader, bottom (semi) yandere dogboy Mammon, master/pet, piss

After a long day at work you open the door to your home and brace yourself for impact. Mammon, the dogboy you’ve housed for a year or so now, launches into you like a bullet, nearly knocking you over. He’s certainly sent you flying to the ground in the past, but you’ve gotten used to his enthusiastic greetings.

Now Mammon’s arms wrap around your neck, while he sniffs your neck and chest like his life depends on it.

He barks twice then licks your neck as he attempts to cover your scent with his own. You laugh and hoist him up, wanting to move from the doorway yet knowing that pushing him away is impossible right now.

He immediately wraps his legs around your waist as you carry him through the house, his tail wagging as he continues to lick you. When you sit down on the couch he lifts his head from your neck,

“Ya stink, and it took ya forever t’get back,” he whines, sounding half annoyed, half genuinely hurt. You run a hand through his soft white hair, scratching behind his ears the way he likes,

“Sorry Mams, there was traffic,” Mammon scoffs at that.

“Whatever," he huffs, "If ya stayed home with me ya wouldn't have t'worry about traffic. And ya wouldn't stink either," he adds on the last bit with a teasing voice, but a layer of seriousness coats his tone.

You hum, thinking about what you can do to make it up to him that you were late.

"If you have a problem with how I smell, we could always take a shower?" you propose. Mammon blinks at you a few times, cocking his head cutely. Watching the gears turn you almost laugh when it finally clicks for him.

Mammon's tail wags happily and his ears perk up, "yes!! Yes let's go right now, c'mon" he jumps out of your lap and drags you to the bathroom.

Upon entering he hastily strips you of your clothes, then strips himself, and hops into the shower, shifting from foot to foot excitedly as he waits for you to join him. You, now nude, enter the shower in front of Mammon, and get on your knees. He takes hold of his dick with one hand, pulling back his foreskin.

“Okay puppy whenever you-” you’re cut off by Mammon’s piss hitting your mouth. Closing your eyes you hold back any reprimanding that you want to give right now, letting him relish the moment.

The stream starts at your mouth, slowly it moves upwards as he covers your face fully, then he aims it lower so he covers your chest properly. You can hear him moan from where he stands above you as he covers you in his pee.

You don’t open your eyes when you feel his piss lessen, then taper off as he finishes. You feel Mammon's tongue licking at your face, and still you don’t open your eyes. When he stands and turns, starting the water, your eyes remain closed. Finally, as you feel the shower stream hit your face, you slowly open your eyes.

Mammon is beaming, his tail wagging wildly, and he’s unsurprisingly hard as he stands before you.

“Better?” you check, scratching behind his ears for good measure.

“Yeah,” he sighs dreamily, wrapping his arms around your neck as he closes the space between you. He licks at your lips, rubbing his hard cock against your thigh.

“Hey,” you say sternly, catching his attention, “wait until we’re out of the shower,” you continue, referring to how he’s shamelessly humping your leg right now. Mammon whines but listens, and backs up to let you clean yourself.

It takes you a while to shower, because even though you told him to wait, Mammon needs more than a few reminders to calm down. Eventually though, he and you end up clean and dry in your room.

Mammon jumps on your bed, wagging his tail and barking excitedly. You lay next to him, letting him kiss and touch you all over now that you’re out of the shower and he’s allowed.

“Never want ya to leave,” he mumbles against your lips, frighteningly serious, staring you down as he presses another kiss against them. You make a sound of acknowledgement, and putting your hands on his cheeks you pull him into a deeper kiss, decidedly not addressing what he’s said. Luckily, Mammon gets distracted enough by your open mouth kiss that he doesn’t push further into a conversation you’ve had many times before.

Mammon’s hands have drifted down to your cock, slowly stroking you to full hardness as you kiss. When he focuses his attention on your head you groan into his mouth, unable to control the jerking of your hips.

You pull away first (you always do, Mammon would kiss you for days if he could) holding his cheeks stable so he doesn’t lean in for another kiss as he so often does.

“Can I fuck you puppy?” you ask simply. A wide grin spreads across his face, exposing his sharp canines.

"Please master,” he answers eagerly, removing his hands so you can reposition.

You hastily shuffle away while Mammon puts his face down and ass up on the bed, his tail making an audible swishing sound from his excitement.

Returning with the lube you get behind him so you can stretch him out. You start by lubing up two fingers, as– knowing him, Mammon likely fingered himself already today. They slide in easily with the lube, and the way that his hole sucks you in helps.

“Don’t wanna-” he starts as you move your fingers in a scissor-like motion, “don’t want ya t’fuck me like this, wanna-ungh, ride you,” he whines. You give him an affirmative hum, curling your fingers into his prostate, smirking when he moans your name wantonly.

Knowing how worked up he gets from fingering alone, you only tease Mammon’s prostate a little bit more before making sure he’s loose and ready for you. He of course starts begging for your cock before you know he’s fully prepared, but when you deem him stretched enough you slowly slip your fingers out. He lets out a small whine at the loss, but is quick to get over it when you reposition so he can mount you, so to speak.

Mammon grabs the lube and hastily slicks you up with a copious amount of it, then straddles you, so he can align your dick with his hole. He inches himself down slowly, his hands splayed across your stomach so he can steady himself, his tail wagging excitedly while his tongue lolls out as he pants.

Once he’s fully seated on your lap, your cock nestled within him, your hands come up to hold his waist, so you can control his movements. You start him off slow, making him work up to the fast pace that you know he desires.

“Ohh master, ya feel so good, been waitin’ all day fer this,” Mammon whines, hoisting himself up and down. You let him speed up a bit, since you feel bad for being late.

Now, per your permittance, Mammon really starts to bounce on your cock, squeezing and fluttering around you as he does. “Ya feel so good,” he repeats, staring you down with his bright blue eyes. “Fit mhm so well inside me, like I was muh- unh, made fer ya,” you feel your heart rate increase with the intense look he’s giving you. “Ah hah, I was made fer ya, cause ‘m yours. All yours,” Mammon insists, pre cum drooling from his cock already, getting aroused by his own dirty talk. “Say- hah, say it master, say that I’m yours, hah that I’ll always be your pet, ah your puppy,” his open mouth panting shows off his sharp canines as he ups the pace- going against the rhythm you’d set.

“Yeah Mams, ungh, you’re my puppy,” you agree, watching the way his eyes roll into his head at your words, squeezing like a vice around you, “you’re mine,” you groan, and Mammon cums untouched. He lets out a series of high pitched whimpers as his cum paints your chest, trying his best to continue riding you, though he’s mostly just twitching and haphazardly humping you now.

After working himself through his orgasm, Mammon pulls himself off you, and nuzzles up to your side, taking your cock in his hand while he licks his cum from your chest. You moan softly, running a hand through his hair, as he looks up at you through his white lashes. He sucks on one of your nipples after cleaning you up, switching between stroking and playing with your shaft and balls until you’re groaning that you’re close.

Upon hearing your warning Mammon shuffles down to take you into his mouth, deepthroating you to your base, and subsequently making you cum. He keeps on deepthroating your cock, your cum shooting down his throat, causing him to gag around you. Mammon sucks you until you’re dry, pulling off your flaccid dick with a pop.

He maneuvers around once more returning to nuzzling and cuddling into you, pulling your arms around himself. You kiss the top of his head, between his ears, and start to say something before Mammon cuts you off,

“Say ya won’t be late next time. Promise.” You don't think it wise to commit to something that could change, and yet... it can't be so wrong to indulge him if he’s getting this worked up about it.

“I won’t be late, I promise,” you answer. Mammon inhales your fresh scent,

“Good. I don’t wanna think about how sad n’ angry I’ll be if yer lyin’ to me, master,” he muses, closing his eyes. You don’t want to think about that either. So instead you pull him closer and ignore the bad feeling coming from your gut.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 64

[Date: 08/03, 6.01 AM - 08/03, 6.32 AM GMT]

[Direct continuation from pt 63]

[CW: Manipulation, stalking]

C R O W N: “are you all happier without me?”

Maxwell: “yes”

C R O W N: “...”

fetch: “we might be, yeah.”

C R O W N: “...”

Marcus: “...guys”

fetch: “just get out of here, dammit”

C R O W N: “i see”

Maxwell: “leave”

Marcus: “Baron and prince and lizzy are still with him”

jayyyyyyyy: “yeah, but theyre not in the court”

Marcus: “They are jay”

jayyyyyyyy: “crowns lost so much power. rescuing the others will be childsplay”

Marcus: “They’re still there”

Little-K1ng: “this is a weird vibe, just 3 dudes in my living room. i hope you guys know i have like, a bed and then a couch and also a floor”

Maxwell: “i call the floor”

Marcus: “That just makes him stronger”

Marcus: “Less people to control”

Little-K1ng: “floor is now called for, fetch can have the bed, and marcus gets couch i guess!”

Maxwell: “i can sleep anywhere man i used to sleep on the floor for fun as a kid!”

Little-K1ng: “zero porch sleepers, PLEASE,”

C R O W N: “I'm sorry. I just wanted to give Ranboo a happy family.”

Maxwell: “no you didnt bitch”

fetch: “just get OUT”

Maxwell: “that aint how a family works”

fetch: “get these squirrels out of my fuckin yard”

C R O W N: “...fine”

Marcus: “Do you remember what I said when this family asked about my thoughts on Dream?”

C R O W N: “yes”

Maxwell: “....i forgot how much of a dogboy you were fetch, heh...nice to see ya again man”

Little-K1ng: “[calling out of my front door to the street] ay fuck off pal not tonight”

fetch: “Pff, you too ya little rat”

Marcus: “I would like to change my answer.”

Marcus: “You are no better than Dream. You are no different than the man who you described as a horrible person. You are no savior.”

C R O W N: “...”

Marcus: “You are a coward.”

Maxwell: “ey i may be little but i can bite your kneecaps”

C R O W N: “...

:(”

Little-K1ng: “okay so i cant believe how not surprised i am but.... at the moment maxwell... theres orange juice in the fridge and cookies in the pantry (they're oatmeal raisin for your Health), if "someone" (you) starts bleeding again just sit and chill”

Little-K1ng: “but definitely get at those snacks”

Maxwell: “thanks man, sorry for barging in”

Marcus: “...what the hell are we wearing?”

Little-K1ng: “nah its all good ill be in a better mood once these bad boys! [holds out 2 excedrin] actually kick in”

Marcus: “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR”

Maxwell: “THATS WHAT I WANNA KNOW”

fetch: “I dunno man but hey max, you look good in a skirt”

Little-K1ng: “i mean you do suit the skirt”

Maxwell: “IM IN A SKIRT AND WHILE I DONT MIND SKIRTS ITS BEEN A WHILE MAN”

Maxwell: “.........hUh”

Marcus: “How the hell did I run in demonias what the fuck”

Maxwell: “i mean ive got combat boots so thats good but seriously man how the fuck did you run in those”

Marcus: “My hair isn’t supposed to be short”

fetch: “Okay you rock the demonias but are your ankles okay”

Little-K1ng: “yall are so fashionable i am almost not going to offer better clothes”

fetch: “...

Ow

ow ow ow

gys

watchdogs”

Little-K1ng: “wh?”

fetch: “gdox”

Maxwell: “i know ive got a button up on but not having a cloak or sweater of somesort feels horrid”

Marcus: “Fetch?”

fetch: “ow

gdoc”

[Crown edited onto the google doc: "I'm sorry i'll be good just please come back i don't want to lose anyone else it hurts i already lost tommy and now you all left me please come back please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please"]

Maxwell: “AW SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN”

Marcus: “Fuck”

fetch: “hes tampering”

dreaming: “fetch you okay?”

Little-K1ng: “woah dude hey hey sit its okay just sit”

Little-K1ng: “the doc...”

Maxwell: “uh oh”

fetch: “ow ow wh at the fu c k”

Maxwell: “the fuck happened to tommy what is he on about”

Little-K1ng: “WOAH okay so fetch just hit the floor”

Maxwell: “shit fetch you okay”

Marcus: “Fuck, do you have tissues? His nose is bleeding”

Little-K1ng: “AH AH HEY UH HELP ME uh hes bleeding flip him over”

Little-K1ng: “hes bleeding a lot dont let him drown”

Maxwell: “oh god okay”

Little-K1ng: “cmon recovery position dont you know that?? ok”

Marcus: “Yeah of course”

Maxwell: “dont lay him down yeah he'll choke on  the blood if we do”

Little-K1ng: “okay hes good just. drooling blood onto the floor okay, thats, ew, but not the first time”

Little-K1ng: “oh yeah the doc huh? okay that alteration must have really hurt”

A random Spark: “It was a big one, a whole page”

Little-K1ng: “oh ouch”

Maxwell: “so should we try to leave it for now for fetch to fix when he wakes up to not hurt him more?”

Little-K1ng: “okay, note to self, buy more excedrin

this weeks trauma is sponsored by excedrin”

Maxwell: “what the shit happened to tommy?”

jayyyyyyyy: “tommy died??”

Maxwell: “HE WHAT”

jayyyyyyyy: “I DONT KNOW??”

Maxwell: “I WAS GONE FOR LIKE A DAY”

Little-K1ng: “yeah uh, he kinda, look ok yall can explain that and ill just. try to clean this up”

Mothbo: “Max, it's been much longer than a day.”

Maxwell: “what”

Little-K1ng: “a... a day ??”

Marcus: “...max”

Maxwell: “how...long has it been”

boo: “a month or so”

Maxwell: “god my head hurts this is too much to process”

Little-K1ng: “hahaa,, yeah no you've never met me, its been an awful lot longer than that, look, we've had a long night, the sprinklers are staying on overnight, just sit and we can get some sleep, yeah? ill stay with fetch and make sure he doesnt choke”

Little-K1ng: “ill get you the snacks and you can recover from the blood loss, sound good?”

Marcus: “I can um”

Maxwell: “thanks so much man...”

Marcus: “I can stay up and help these two, I basically took care of them back at the-

You know”

Maxwell: “okay...tomorrow....yall havge a  lto og explaining to fo”

Marcus: “You don’t look well, Mona you should rest”

Maxwell: “im going to slepw nihgt fucekrs ha....its good to be back”

Little-K1ng: “i appreciate the concern, good night marcus. nice to meet you :)”

Marcus: “It’s uh, nice to meet you too

Goodnight”

Mothbo: “rest well, Max. Please stay safe okay? We missed ya”

Maxwell: “course....”

[jayyyyyyyy: “have a nice first night free marcus! :]”]

Marcus: “...thank you”

Chat: “...”

katichu (derogatory): “Chat?”

jayyyyyyyy: “hi, chat. you maybe wanna take off your crown, mate?”

Chat: “You know what? I really don't care anymore. I should've known who you all really were when you first showed your true colors by being so hateful to crown and the family. You're all nothing to me :) And guess what? I'm completely fine with that!!”

A random Spark: “We made our choice”

Chat: “Yep! And I've made mine, and I'm completely fine with knowing that I've done nothing but right by Crown, and that none of this is my fault and I'm not to blame for anything and I haven't done anything wrong and it's perfectly fine and I'm okay!!”

Chat: “I know you never cared about me anyway. You don't need to keep saying it. I have my family and I'm h a p p y n o w”

[jayyyyyyyy: “We do care about you. We're also all tired as fuck.”]

Chat: “Right.”

Chat: “I'll be leaving now. Thank you for nothing.”

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 63

[Date: 08/03, 5:38 AM - 08/03, 6:00 AM GMT]

[Direct continuation from pt 62]

[CW: Zalgo text, manipulation, stalking]

C R O W N: “....”

Viscount: “fuck”

C R O W N: “THAT HURT”

fetch: “v, max, do yall have sights on each other?

are yall together?”

Viscount: “im trying to find max”

Maxwell: “HEY VISCOUNT”

C R O W N: “WHERE

 ARE

YOU?”

Maxwell: “CHECK THE TREE MAN HAHA IM ABOVE YOU IMA JUMP DOWN AND THEN WE RUN AGAIN”

Viscount: “shut the fuck up, do you want him to find us?!”

C R O W N: “:)”

Maxwell: “WERE IN A FOREST”

Maxwell: “THE AMOUNT OF FUCKING TRESS BITCH”

fetch: “max please”

Viscount: “i’m going to punt you right back into crowns arms I swear to god-”

C R O W N: “... Come back. Please.”

Maxwell: “FINE ILL SHUT UP FOR NOW”

fetch: “don’t listen. block him out”

Viscount: “......”

Viscount: “He sounds so....”

Maxwell: “Vis no”

Viscount: “Sad”

C R O W N: “Please. Don't leave me.”

Maxwell: “come on we have to fucking go”

fetch: “crown stop it”

Viscount: “like the little bitch he is. lets go”

Maxwell: “YES”

C R O W N: “...”

Viscount: “shut the fuck up max”

C R O W N: “I...I'm sorry. Please come back.”

fetch: “run don't listen just run”

Viscount: “But...”

Viscount: “...he’s sorry though”

Maxwell: “manipulative bastard”

Maxwell: “NAH UH NO I WILL DRAG YOU VIS”

fetch: “When has he ever told the truth?”

C R O W N: “Don't leave me. It hurts when they leave.”

Maxwell: “VISCOUNT LOOK”

Maxwell: “HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE COME ON BEFORE I FUCKING DRAG YA”

fetch: “WH. WAIT”

[boo: “thats interesting but im not gonna get into it”]

fetch: “GUYS I THINK I SEE YOU”

Viscount: “max shut the fuck up please”

C R O W N: “Please.”

Maxwell: “DOGBOY HELP”

fetch: “GUYS OH MY GOD”

C R O W N: “Please.”

fetch: “UNLOCKING THE DOOR GET IN HERE GET THE FUCK IN HERE”

C R O W N: “It hurts.”

fetch: “IT SHOULD.”

Maxwell: “VISCOUNT GET THE FUCK INSIDE PLEASE AND LOCK THE DOOR”

fetch: “VIS. INSIDE.”

Viscount: “I-”

Maxwell: “WE DONT WANNA DEAL WITH EM”

fetch: “PLEASE”

Viscount: “That’s. Not. My. Name.”

C R O W N: “No no no no no no please I'm sorry don't leave me”

Maxwell: “Dude? you okay?”

fetch: “what's your name, then?”

Maxwell: “crown shut up before i punt you--”

fetch: “Max just stay inside”

[Viscount changes his name to Marcus]

Marcus: “Lock the fucking door, Max.”

Marcus: “ Don’t let him in”

fetch: “MY MAN MARCUS”

C R O W N: “...”

Maxwell: “MARCUS GOOD TO KNOW AND THE DOORS LOCKED NOW WOOO”

fetch: “Okay I think I need to wake up mona”

Maxwell: “mona?”

fetch: “Guys let's not celebrate too early here.

Hes still outside”

Maxwell: “whos mona?”

fetch: “Mona's my friend, this is technically her house”

C R O W N: “please come back”

Marcus: “Mona?”

Maxwell: “oh yay crimes”

C R O W N: “please”

Maxwell: “okay okay yall, have some serious fucking explaining to do”

fetch: “Okay guys, I will explain as much as I can.”

fetch: “Just get in the living room stay away from the windows and ill go wake up mona”

Maxwell: “whatever you say dad”

C R O W N: “...”

Maxwell: “i think we’re good

fetch: “I think we'll be okay... for the time being

I have a baseball bat”

C R O W N: “make it stop please make it stop”

Maxwell: “i have a lot of experience with materials like that”

fetch: “Crown just go away”

Maxwell: “uh hey fetch? could i have a tissue or something, im uh, still bleedin over here”

Little-K1ng: “[hgk, cough] wh”

fetch: “Yeah I got it max”

Little-K1ng: “hey yall, had a sick day”

fetch: “Sorry to wake you up like this mona, but there's an enderman outside and 2 refugees inside hope you understand”

Maxwell: “eyyyyyy uhhhh you're mona right? heh....”

Little-K1ng: “what did you need f. fe t? uh fetch and uh

ok What”

fetch: “thats Marcus and thats Max”

Maxwell: “so”

Maxwell: “shit fucking happened man”

C R O W N: “please”

Little-K1ng: “oh im good i just called out of work today, ive got a nasty migraine”

C R O W N: “please”

fetch: “and crown is outside trying to get them back”

Little-K1ng: “ah, yea thats an issue”

C R O W N: “I'll be better, i promise. Just don't leave me”

Little-K1ng: “should i pop my head out and shout at him or wait for the neighbors dog to break out of the fence and get him”

fetch: “seconded”

fetch: “Stay away from windows and keep the doors locked”

Maxwell: “god you really are a dream kinnie”

Little-K1ng: “[yawn, COugh] any coffee before i suffer a break in or. like this sounds pretty dire but also excedrin”

Little-K1ng: “oh the sprinklers are already on!! we're going from winter to spring so the grass needs watered a bit more to make it come up faster”

Little-K1ng: “ugh,, my throat is raw”

Maxwell: “cold water usually helps when my throat hurts”

Little-K1ng: “dont worry ive been in bed all day, crown cant get near the house with all the sprinklers running at once

and my water bill isnt USUALLY an issue ”

C R O W N: “i just want everyone to be happy...”

Maxwell: “fuck off”

fetch: “don't worry guys I'm currently patching up max and marcus, they just have little cuts and scratches nothing too bad”

Marcus: “...we were happy there”

Marcus: “But”

Marcus: “At what cost”

Little-K1ng: “[i calmly shunt the blinds open for a second, then immediately closed] yea hes uh. hes standing RIGHT on the border of the lawn where its dry haha, he really cant get closer than that”