#and hes tweeting about how hes watching the video back and feels silly

[arosebyan0thername]

I need to hire a guy to stand over my shoulder every time I try to interact with someone and remind me that even though I'm doing it to reassure them and be nice while stating the facts, it's still frowned upon to point out someone's flaws to tell them they're reasonable or endearing

[cheriladycl01]

I'm not scared! Colby Brock x MotoGPDriver! Reader Part 1

Plot: You made a tweet about Sam and Colby and were in a podcast and they brought up Sam and Colby where you talked about the paranormal and how it doesn't really scare you because you drive motorcycles at over 200mph.

A/N: This has been sat in my drafts for a while coz i was kinda scared to post it, coz its a new reach of people I'm looking for.

It started off with a silly little tweet you'd made in the summer break when you werent racing. You didn't feel like watching old F1 or MotoGP races and there was no movie that immedielty came to mind.

So you scrolled through youtube. At first it was a documentary about the ocean, and you had to switch it out. Which is how you came across a channel called Sam and Colby, two American boys who... well you didn't actually think they had a 'thing:

Your YouTube consisted solely of vlogs and car/bike videos that you did. That was your niche. However these two didn't seem to have a specific niche, you perused them seeing that they vlogged and did challenges and prank video and even back in the day were part of vine.

The most recent things they'd been sticking too by the looks of things were these paranormal investigations. They went to these haunted places with cool gear and filmed the experience. You were very intruiged as the paranormal was something you'd believed in just never interacted with.

After watching them bring people on, and be scared shitless you knew you'd boss something like this.

You were alone in your house, drinking which is where the tweet actually came from.

There was a lot of action from both fans of motorsport and YouTube fans. You of course got some hate from the tweet from the YouTube side and hence started the fued between your fans and Colby and Sam fans.

It wasn't until the podcast you went on that the duo took notice of you.

"So today I'm here in the studio with Y/N, now this I think is an intertsing podcast for both of us, because you've only been on Motorsport related ones so far correct?"

"Yes" you smile nodding. You'd actually been on a few podcasts as you really enjoyed talking to people and hearing their stories and being able to talk about your own experiences and hardships.

You started of with the generic motorsport questions, that were all angled at you being a woman in motorsport. Which you enjoyed as you knew getting to the position you had now was a hard hard feat you managed to overcome.

He then got onto more general questions about you life, which again you were happy to answer.

"I do have something that people asked me to ask when we first annouced you here and that was about the tweet with Sam and Colby?" he says looking to his notepad making sure he was keeping in his order.

"Mmmm, what about it?" you smile knowing this was going to be a thing.

"So you basically said along the lines of, if you were in a Sam and Colby video that you wouldn't be scared, why is that?" he asks tilting his head to the side.

"Well, not much scares me when i drive motorbikes at roughly 250 kmph. You know, I've come off those bikes and had my life flash before my eyes as I go into the barrier. One of my worst crashes nearly killed me, but I got back on the bike, one I healed and I won my first race back in Lusial. As part of the Red Bull family I've helped them with some crazy challanges, beat Max Verstappen in an F1 car and lots more. So i think it would genuinely take a lot to scare me!" you smile explaining your thought process behind your tweet and how you think you'd genuinely react.

"So I'm guessing you'd be like down to collab with them at some point!" he asks.

"Yeah of course, I know these things take time to plan so obviously you know with both our busy schedules it probably wouldn't be anytime soon, but you never know!" you grin and after a few more questions before the podcast ends.

It was around a week later, you were in your home gym getting some weight training in when a message dings up. You stop the current exercise your doing to check it.

It was an instagram DM from the Sam and Colby official account. You click on the notification to go onto the chat to look at what they'd messaged you.

Of course you immedielty replied. You exchanged numbers with both the boy's before Colby made a group chat asking when you were free.

It was harder to find times than you expected, the next time you all would be free was during your winter break from racing. Which was risky to confirm anything, especially to their fans as anything could happen to you in that time.

You agreed on a date and time to tell your fans.

The next step was you inviting them to a race weekend, you wanted to meet them but obviously didn't have much time between races. So you invited them to your home race at Silverstone in the United Kingdom.

They decided to make it a whole thing, where they explored some haunted places across England after coming to see you at your race.

You decided to meet them at the airport first and you couldn't hold in your nerves to meet them, you never had the best people skills which is probably why you went into the career path that you did.

You waited for them in the arrivals area, it wasn't too busy due to the time of the day, just a few business men in suits. You looked around for a board to see when their plane had landed, but could find one.

"Y/N?" you hear from behind you.

A/N: I don't know what the fandom's like on here, but I just like writing about cool situations that help with writers block for writing my book! If you follow me for F1 and General Motorsports this is me branching out my writing into another hyper fixation of mine that’s been around for a while!

[6okuto]

ASTROLOGY BOT

1.2k words, just timeskip akaashi overthinking and crushing on gn!reader. LOL

akaashi has always considered himself ‘on the fence’ when it comes to superstitions and signs from the universe.

he might say ghosts aren’t real, but never goes near a supposedly haunted site just in case. he’ll ignore videos titled “for you” if he can’t relate, say it must have been a sign only after something goes wrong, and never acts on them even if he knows he has to.

but he can’t deny that he thinks about it throughout the day when it’s something he hopes is true—that maybe he’s tried out a few filters and trends to see if you, his crush of way too long, were his soulmate.

it’s bokuto this time, though, that sends him a sign.

a tweet, really.

an astrology bot on twitter that tweeted 17 minutes ago— “sagittarius, tell them you like them. they like you, too.”

AKAASHI!!!

i told you!!!

i turned their post notifications on to see if they’d say anything funny again and LOOK!!!!

keiji watches his friend’s texts come in through as notifications, eyes mostly fixed on the tweet, re-reading it over and over.

it’s a minute before he texts back.

it’s just a bot bokuto

it doesn’t actually mean anything

but bokuto is typing replies in mere seconds,

awwwww come on :((

remember when they were like

be careful virgo they don’t have the best intentions >:(

and IT WAS ABOUT ME ALMOST GETTING SCAMMED!! THEY STOPPED A SCAM!!! O____O

whats the worst thing that could happen???

i mean.. well…at least the worst thing that could happen ISNT u losing a bunch of money T_____T

imagine if u lost hundreds of dollars bc u confessed ;——; scary…

keiji breathes out a laugh.

i won’t lose hundreds of dollars but it’d haunt me for the rest of my life like every other embarrassing thing that’s ever happened and u know that

but thank you

i’ll think about telling them

he’s vaguely aware of bokuto sending another text with his name in all caps before he turns off his phone. it lands somewhere beside him on his comforter, and he takes off his glasses if only to run his hands down his face.

there’s a feeling he gets, akin to both butterflies and a 10 meter drop, when one of these bots decides to let his imagination get away from him.

for a few minutes keiji lets himself think it might be true, and that you think about going on dates with him the same way he does with you.

the latest idea he had was taking you to a new board game cafe that had opened nearby. he had skipped then swiped back up to its ad—a perfect spot for couples looking to spice up a regular cafe date!

he hadn’t closed his curtains properly that night, and the moon lit up his room while he stared at the ceiling. would you be competitive? would you rather play a co-op game?

would you see him sipping on his drink, and ask to have a taste?

he thought about how he might accidentally have some foam above his lip, and how you’d softly laugh before tapping above your own to signal his appearance. he cringed at the possible humiliation of looking silly in front of you, but it went away with the foam you’d gently swipe with your thumb, or maybe even hold his face to kiss away instead. you’d tease him and say it was as sweet as him.

but it’s nonsensical.

as far as keiji knows, whoever runs the account is using a random generator to pick a sign and bullshitting every tweet in their drafts.

it’s almost always only a sentence anyway.

but does that mean it’s a sign that this one was two?

keiji forces himself to stop thinking and takes a deep breath, letting the warmth hit his palms still covering his face. silence washes over him, and he lets his ears focus on the traffic outside, and the sound of the washing machine running a couple of rooms away.

but then he thinks about you. and he scrunches his eyes shut and groans, hands moving to grip his hair before he rolls over onto his stomach.

there’s a thud as his phone hits the ground while he pulls the blanket to cover his head.

sagittarius, tell them you like them. they like you, too.

sagittarius, tell them you like them. they like you, too.

not just tell them you like them, as if it was a shove to be courageous for once, but they like you, too.

did you like him, too?

was he good enough for you to like him?

did you hate him?

was he going to trust an astrology bot as uninformed about your feelings as he was?

maybe more importantly, was he going to let a bot dictate whether he finally confesses to you after almost a year of pining? a year based on the fact that one day you held the elevator door open for him with a smile and already knew what floor he needed?

(you had noticed him as the new employee, though he didn’t notice you while busy getting used to his job. he made sure to note the fact you got off the floor above him so he could press the button for you next time.)

and keiji doesn’t really believe in signs or the supernatural. he doesn’t want to let himself, because if he does then there’s probably a ghost in that shut-down building on his way to work, he’s gotten himself twenty years of bad luck, and he’s big enough of a coward that the universe decided to take it upon itself to tell him that itself.

but he’s hiding under his blanket when the absurdity of it all hits him—the anxiety and what-ifs and pretending he didn’t know you liked going for lunch a little earlier than him, and that he didn’t plan his break to say hello—and he feels like he’s sixteen again.

and maybe if there’s one thing he doesn’t want to feel other than being rejected, he thinks it’s being sixteen again.

so he jolts up.

and somewhere, in the back of his mind, keiji wonders if the universe jolted up with him, excited to see where this goes.

adrenaline working, he reaches for his glasses and fumbles to put them on with one hand while the other feels the floor to find his phone. the bright screen makes him squint, and the notification of bokuto’s “AKAASHIII :((” welcomes him before anything else.

sagittarius, tell them you like them. they like you too.

the tweet seems to be engraving itself into his mind as his shaky fingers hold his phone, and he taps your icon.

he skims the last text you had sent,

thanks keiji!! i’ll see u tomorrow then :) and remember we get off early!

it's a little embarrassing how his chest tightens at you his name and a smiley face. but he goes to type one himself, spending a second to mentally tell the astrology account they’re changing lives, but nothing more or else he thinks he might throw up—

btw if you’re free, did you want to grab food after work? there’s a cafe i wanted to check out with you :)

[woozisguitar]

GLITCH - a good plan

prev | 3.0 | next

masterlist

Recommended Song: Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift

Warnings: some hate tweets, mentions of anxiety, overthinking and panic attacks.

A/N: this part has both smau + written (2.6k words, no beta)

Your flight landed 20 minutes before schedule. After a few long hours of constant turbulence and the crying of babies, you were more than happy to disembark. But a sudden realisation of where you were and wanted was going to happen once you got off this flight made your anxiety rise again. Since the article about the dating rumor came out, it was almost like your usual anxiety had increased tenfold, making you want to run back and hide every time you left your house. Ella tapped you on the shoulder to signal that the gates were opening. You decided to swallow your nerves for the sake of the group. 

“Let’s go before it starts to rush,"  Iseul called out from her seat in the next row with Ash, who was packing her things. 

The security checks and baggage claim took ages, but finally, you were able to leave the airport and take in a much-needed breath of fresh air. There, at Arrivals, you saw a man who looked like he would be in his late 30s, holding a placard with your name on it. You nudged Iseul and nodded towards the man to signal that he might be the guide? SEVENTEEN’s management mentioned. 

“Hi, I’m y/n,"  you said, bowing slightly. “Oh hello! Nice to meet you. I am Ahn Ha-Joon, but feel free to call me Mr.  Ahn," he said with a kind smile. “I hope you all had a great flight. I have a car waiting for us right outside. Please follow me.”

You all followed Mr. Ahn out of the airport, where the cool evening air greeted us. Ash and Ella looked around in excitement, but Iseul had a mix of nostalgia and fear on her face. Knowing her past, you gave her a small squeeze on the shoulder, and she glanced over in appreciation. 

“Mr. Ahn, can we stop somewhere to eat?” Ella asked once we were all seated in the car. 

“Well, it's pretty late right now, so most restaurants would be closed, but we can stop at a 24-hour convenience store. My apologies, but there isn't any food at your accommodations right now.” 

You heard Ash whisper-yell a small yay under her breath before she decided to go back to watching videos on her phone. After that, you decided to zone out on your drive there, imagining and overthinking every possible scenario. 

Sleep didn't come easily to you the whole night, while others slept soundly after the long flight. Ever since you became a fan, Woozi has held a special place in your heart. Be it through his words, his songs, or his smile. You would wait days, often checking your phone like a depraved girlfriend and scrambling to open every notification in case Woozi posted something new. As sad and pathetic as it sounds, this is your normal. You worked on codes, you spent time with your friends, and you fangirled. Everyone knew this. And frankly, your life felt full to some extent. You never had time for anything or anyone else. Every single person you met was compared to Woozi in every aspect, and you knew how fucked up it was. He is an idol, for heaven's sake! No normal person would be this obsessed with someone they don't even know in person, but this was you. You've always found it easy to love from a distance, never knowing that love can be so self-consuming and overwhelming that you might lose a part of yourself in the process. But it was almost like you were addicted. You cried when they cried, and you laughed when they laughed. You felt proud when they achieved something and disappointed when they lost. Iseul once mentioned how this feels like a curse. To love someone so ardently and vehemently even after knowing that you never ever, not even in a million lifetimes, had a chance with this person. And perhaps she was right, because look at the mess you are in right now. You never wanted this. For you, Jihoon was a silly fantasy. Like a prince who would come sweep you off your feet, riding a white horse into the sunset. But this, this was real life. There are no princes and princesses, and there are no white horses. Just the same old you, who is a student, and your idol, Woozi. These agonizing thoughts consumed your mind until you somehow drifted off to sleep. 

The next day, you woke up to Iseul and Mr. Ahn talking by the door. She nodded in agreement at something he said. 

“Get up, girls; we leave in an hour.”

“TIME TO MEET JUNNIE LET’S GO!!!!,” Ash yelled and leaped from her bed to go take a shower. 

“Well, at least someone’s happy about this,"  Ella chuckled slightly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. 

Well, I guess here goes nothing…

The ride to the headquarters was silent. Everyone knew that this could potentially end badly. While the management assured me that they wouldn’t, they were still very powerful and strong and could change their minds in an instant. You could be sued and blacklisted, and honestly, none of you had that kind of money. 

“We’re here. We will be taking the backdoor because it's safer than the general entrance.”

The elevator ride to SEVENTEEN’s headquarters took forever. If this were under any other conditions, you would probably be elated to meet the people you have looked up to for so long. But right now, all you could do was try and calm your nerves so that you wouldn't go into a panic attack in front of your idols. Well, at least Ella and Ash seemed excited as they were talking in hushed whispers, whereas Iseul seemed deep in thought. The elevator dinged, signaling that we had reached it, and Mr. Ahn led us through the various doors till we reached the one beyond which stood our fate, waiting to meet us. 

The first thing you noticed was how familiar this room felt. Having seen various videos of the group doing challenges in this same space, it felt surreal to stand in the same space. 

Then you heard Ash quietly squeal and cover it up with a cough, and Iseul took charge and introduced herself. 

Last, you saw him. 

Standing here casually as ever, with his black hair slightly longer than before, was Jihoon. He was wearing an all-black outfit, but it seemed like he made an effort to clean up a bit, as you noticed a slight contrast from his usual behind-the-scenes outfit. He had a bored expression on his face, but his eyes had a glint of curiosity as he kept scanning the group till they landed on you. And you, flustered as ever, averted your gaze and slightly bowed your head in greeting. 

“It's very lovely to meet you. Thank you all for all the support you have given us.” You heard a deep voice on your side to see Scoups greet your group. 

“Well, we'll get to introductions later! Ms. Lee is waiting for us in the meeting room.” Mr. Ahn interrupted and led us all towards another door at the back of the room. 

You tried to keep a low profile, almost shrinking into yourself. A very small, tiny part of you was excited to finally meet them, but a huge part was scared as to what would happen next. 

As you all settled in the meeting room, a lady in her late 20s entered and introduced herself as Ms. Lee. She claimed to be their publicist, handling all major events for all members, from scandals to photoshoots to everything. 

“I know this isn't the most ideal situation for either party, and frankly, none of us thought it would blow so out of proportion. I mean, almost every other fan pretends to date their idol. It's one of the foundation concepts in this industry, as much as we hate to accept that.”

The members nodded in agreement and understanding and wanted the ground to swallow you whole. All those stupif things you said on Twitter at 4 a.m. when you were overworked and tired are being referenced, and oh my god, I think I'm going to die. 

“Anyways, the main reason we called you here today, Ms. Y/N, was to discuss how we should handle this. As this ‘plan’ could possibly affect the whole group as well as your friends, it makes it more feasible to discuss it with all of you. So, my team has been working out numbers, and a rumor tweet hasn't generated this much interaction for SEVENTEEN in a while. And we think it might be a good idea to play into it.” 

Everyone around us leaned forward in curiosity as to how we would ‘play into it.’

“Ms. Y/N, we want you to date Mr. Woozi.”

Pin-fucking-drop silence. You were pretty sure everyone even stopped breathing for a second. 

“Umm, and how exactly was this a good idea?” asked Mingyu from his end, the first one among us to react in any way. 

“Well, they don't have to actually date but rather fake date. We spin a story about how they met and fell in love. And while we don't confirm or deny anything officially, we can hint at certain things. And for the next comeback, Mr. Woozi can write a love song as the title track, referring to Ms. Y/N. They keep up this ruse for a few days, and then they'll ‘break up’. And the only way to confirm this? The theme of the comeback after that would be heartbreak. That or Mr. Woozi can drop a solo whatever he wants. With this, everyone would be immersed in this love story between a fan and an idol, especially those who belong in an industry where parasocial relationships are one of the main pillars. Given the rise in Mr. Woozi's popularity lately, it makes more sense to fabricate a scandal involving him. Plus, it's human nature to want something you can't have.”

“And what does Y/N get out of this? I’m pretty sure you’ve seen all the hate comments and speculations on Y/N life treding all over Twitter. And if she agrees to this, she will be thrown deeper into this hate circle, so she should at least get something in return. The group gets their comeback theme, Woozi gets the popularity, and so what will Y/N get? And I hope you know that Woozi would get just as much hate as Y/N, so what are your plans on handling that?” Iseul spoke up from beside you with the same fire in her eyes she had when she knew she had finally cornered her opposition in the courtroom. 

The table fell into a murmured discussion, contemplating the pros and cons of this. Ms. Lee looked as if she had expected this. “Well, we plan on signing a six-month contract with Ms. Y/N at first, after which, depending on the reaction to the initial part of the plan, we might add another six months. And as for what Y/N gets? We compensate her for all the defamation, libel, and slander she faces. The amount can be discussed when we finalize the contract and get a lawyer for Ms. Y/N. As for the hate Mr. Woozi might receive, well, there's not much we can do unless we know what kind of hate we will receive.”

“I am Y/N’s lawyer; you can tell me the specifics.” Iseul spoke up again, surprising a few in the room. 

“And I’m sorry to interrupt, but you should really work on protecting your artists more. That being said, you also need to protect Y/N. By all means. Get her security, a car, and everything,” Ash spoke up, surprising you, as this was the most serious she had ever been since we commenced this trip. 

“Fine, fine, we will provide Ms. Y/N with all the security she needs. Any other questions?” Ms. Lee said, exasperated.

You saw Hoshi giving Ash a small thumbs up, and she nodded in return. 

"Yes, actually,” you said for the first time ever since this proportion was revealed, “I’m guessing I would have to move here temporarily in case I was to agree.” You continued as Ms. Lee nodded, “Well, that could be an issue because I can’t leave lab work or my graduation will be delayed. And all my equipment, my supervisor, and everything else are back home. Moving midway is a very bad idea.”

Ms. Lee seemed to think over this for a moment. “Well, that does sound like a problem. We can set up a lab for you to work in here at one of the universities we have good relations with and get you a local supervisor. We can also talk to your supervisor back home and get them on board with the idea. We will have to work out the specifics of this. Anything else? I am assuming your friends will stay with you, so we can work out something for their jobs as well.”

“I can tell my firm to put all cases on hold and make Y/N my primary client.”

“Well, I’m part of a dance crew, but it’s about time I took a break. And I suppose you can hook me up with some groups around here as well.”

The three of you looked at Ms. Lee expectantly. She sighed and nodded. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. And you, Ms. Ash?”

“Hmm, I don't know if I can take a break for that long from the clinic. I guess I could say I’m taking a sabbatical or something. But you are going to refer me if anyone asks for a vet,” Ash said, crossing her fingers and placing her chin on it, looking innocently at Ms. Lee. She groaned and said, “Fine, fine, fine. Are Ms. Y/N you in or not?”

You looked over at Woozi, who was quiet this whole time. He seemed to be contemplating what he wanted, and you had an epiphany that Ms. Lee never once asked him if he agreed to this. He simply had to do whatever the company asked him to do. Your choice would affect not just you but him as well. And when your eyes met his, you saw doubt and fear swirling in them, similar to yours this morning. You decided you had to talk to him about this first before you made any choice. “Can I get some time to think about this? Maybe a day,” you said, slightly nodding at Woozi, hoping he’d understand what you meant. 

“Very well then,” Ms. Lee clapped. “You can let Mr. Ahn know whatever your decision is, and we can get started on the paperwork right away. Thank you all for today.” 

“Not going to lie, but that was the most frustrated we have ever seen Ms. Lee,” Vernon said once she left the room. 

“And compromising. She doesn't even listen or negotiate with me,” Jeonghan pointed out, surprised. 

The members and your friends decided it was best to spend some time together before they had to go for their practice. Amidst the chaos of introductions and questions, you decided it was the best time to corner Woozi and ask him if he was okay with this. You saw him standing at the back of the room, texting someone, as you approached him. 

“We need to talk.”

taglist: @toplinehyunjin @neo-moa @khhminimalist @theidontknowmehn @moose-1555 @kittyhui @ra1n7b33 @hamji-hae @miriamxsworld @khaos-sodivine @intoanothermind @ins4nebish

A/N: hope y'all liked this! this one took forever to finish and tbh I never planned on writing almost 2k words but oh well 😭 excited to hear your thoughts on this and reblogs are always appreciated! oh also! during y/n's inner monologue she keeps going back on forth between woozi and jihoon. that is so symbolise how she sometimes sees him as an idol and other times as this guy she likes. its super conflicting for her.

[syrupsyche]

I'm following an artist (who deserves a whole other post) who tweeted out a video they had found, of a Spanish, one-man monologue/musical of Grantaire!

I cannot attest for the quality for I don't understand Spanish and there's no subtitles yet, but it definitely looks interesting! The full show is also available on his YouTube channel:

As I said I can't understand Spanish, but does that mean I didn't watch it? NO LOL, I watched the entire thing instead of working on my finals 💀. Here are my spoiler-y thoughts of the show under the cut below!

This was more of a monologue/play, with about 5-6 songs sprinkled out. The songs have rock (?) elements which was surprising but I personally like it! From what I can tell, this monologue happens during the barricade where everyone is fighting, and Grantaire is left alone in the cafe surrounded by the debris (or a Grantaire Survives AU? but there are gunshots throughout so I think it's still during the battle).

If anyone from Les Mis could carry 1.5 hour monologue by himself, it was most certainly Grantaire. The actor was captivating, even though I couldn't understand him, and his interactions with the props around him were all very fun(ny). The few moments where he gets serious, the atmosphere feels so heavy, and then he leaps back into a silly goofy mood again. The ending scene - with its very clear allusion to OFPD - was nice; I like how Enjolras' "body" was made out of a cross. And Grantaire's clear adoration for him in that moment too ;-;

Overall I quite like it! Hopefully subtitles will be released, or someone who understands Spanish will summarize the show, but from what little I know right now, the actor managed to capture how Grantaire moves, sounds, and behaves in my mind. And he kept this energy up for 1.5 hours straight! That itself deserves an applause from me :33

[missmeinyourbones]

NEW TEXT MESSAGE! FROM: ‘SAMU

in which osamu can’t help but notice how his contact is saved in your phone

Osamu feels warm, but he can’t decide if it's a good kind of warm or not. 

The two of you sit side by side on his grey couch, thighs casually smushing against one another as his arm cautiously lingers behind you. His air conditioner hasn't been turned on since august, but he’s suddenly thinking of opening a window with how hot his skin feels against yours.

His hand slightly shakes as it holds his phone (he prays to anyone listening that you don't notice the tremble), the same one that’s playing a clip you watch with eager eyes.

The video isn’t anything special. It was taken a few days ago when Osamu had decided to visit his brother at practice. The wobbly frame follows Atsumu running around what looks like a gym floor, as a hand (that you know to belong to Osamu) continuously squirts a squeezable water bottle at him. Atsumu’s whines are loud and childish as he squirms and attempts to dodge his brother’s offensive attacks. 

Osamu is a strong man, and he’s trying his very hardest to watch the video. Really, he is, but he can’t help but want to watch you instead. 

He notices your pupils grow in size as you laugh along with his own laughter through the screen. He hones in on how your nose slightly scrunches with your breathing, how your face is warm with the light remnants of a smile. 

“That’s so stupid,” you giggle, eyes on his screen as the video comes to an end, “send it to me.”

Removing his hand from the couch, Osamu forwards you the video without a second thought. 

So naturally, his attention is pulled to your phone that lights up on the coffee table. He can’t help but perk up at the notification. Though he knows it's from him and what the message consists of, something unexpected about the green bubble catches his eye. 

His tone is surprised, but clearly amused as he speaks up. 

“You have me saved as ‘Samu in your phone?”

Your eyebrows furrow at the odd question, clearly not following his realization. “That’s your name, isn’t it?”

Osamu has to physically chew on his cheeks to prevent the grandest of smiles from etching across his face. 

“Technically, no,” he tries to point out casually, “my name is O-samu.”

Though his voice is decently steady, he hopes you can’t hear his heart comically thumping in his chest. 

He watches your face slowly contort into a knowing realization, but you quickly recover with a nonchalant shrug. 

“Close enough,” you attempt to reason, “didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

But it is a big deal to Osamu, as it’s making his palms unbelievably sweaty and his stomach flutter with childish nerves. He needs to know if you give all of your friends a personal contact nickname. If everyone has the privilege of being saved in your phone as something as special as ‘Samu. 

God, he hopes not.

It’s quiet for a moment before his curiosity gets the best of him. For once, Osamu allows himself to indulge. 

“Well, do you have Atsumu saved under ‘Tsumu?”

He’s grateful you don't question his sudden jealousy when you unlock your phone without any questions. You check his contact before shaking your head, “No, he’s just Atsumu.”

“Lemme see,” Osamu inquires, wanting to confirm it for himself. 

Your phone is shoved into his face with a sigh, and you’re right. Atsumu’s full name reads loud and clear above your texts—which, Osamu notes through a quick scan, consist of his brother begging you for your Netflix password and asking you to edit an Instagram picture of his. 

He’s pleased. A little too pleased for someone who’s supposed to be just your friend, but he digresses.

Still, it's not enough confirmation for him. “Well, what about Sunarin?”

Seconds later, you flip your phone back over so he can read the contact name. 

“Suna” reads in bold at the top of the screen, and again, Osamu can’t stop himself from raking his eyes over the text messages below. They consist of miscellaneous reaction memes and silly tweets with a few thumbs-up or down reactions scattered about. 

This time around, Osamu doesn’t stop himself from smiling ear to ear. 

He shows no shame as he blushes with pride at the realization that only he earns a particular name in your phone. He never thought one letter would make such a difference, but now, he’s dreaming of the moment you decided to type it into your phone—what kind of magnetic force pulled you to save his name so differently than everyone else’s.

Whatever it was, he’s sure it's the same force that's pulling him closer to you again.

His smug reaction flusters you, your face suddenly hot with embarrassment. Has it always been this hot in here? You pull your phone away from him and towards your chest for safekeeping. 

“What?” you whine, hiding your face in your hands at the intimacy of it all.  

He shakes his head with a slight smirk before merely shrugging his shoulders and keeping his eyes on you. 

His voice is quiet, knowing, when he mumbles softly. “M’the only one you got saved under a cute nickname, huh?”

You blush further into your hands, “Like I said, I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

You pull up his contact and he watches your finger hover over the edit button. “I can change it if it bothers you that much—”

“No,” Osamu abruptly interrupts your threat with a sudden desperation. Your face slowly grows a grin similar to his just a few moments ago.

He takes a moment to clear his throat before clarifying with a bit more conviction, “No, don’t change it. Keep it.”

A good warm, Osamu decides. Definitely a good kind of warm.

[favvn]

An introduction:

fawn; verb

to show affection—used especially of a dog

Blog Thesis: to earnestly love without pretense (easier said than done given how I still fall back into self-deprecating humor; I'm working on it)

Personal blog, although mostly Star Trek these days

Still on my first-time watch of Star Trek TOS; if you see me posting about the movies, I am getting ahead of myself lol

video edits | meta | web weaves | parallels | amok time notes

I try to tag things consistently for the most part (i.e. Star Trek things will be tagged "star trek tos" but not all of my meta is tagged "trek meta" because I am silly and forget my own tags or judge my own writing too harshly and avoid giving it the tag). The only exception are random personal posts that I do not tag in order to avoid the search index.

I will indulge in Shatnerposting from time to time. Yes, I know about his reputation, how parts of the fandom feels about him, the feuds and sour relationships with the TOS cast, the tweets, etc. I was neutral about him but all the "we hate him" posts did the opposite of their intention and I purposefully started seeking out his pre-Star Trek works out of curiosity (and I've gone even further into some google-induced rabbit holes online. The devil's in the details and I can't resist the lure of a good, unanswered, "Why?"). Have you watched Shatner in something that's not Star Trek? He's a fun actor to watch! Might I suggest Julius Caesar (1960) or The Intruder (1962) as a counterpoint to how he portrays Kirk and as an example of how he could be offered the starring role in a television series? You don't have to like him as a person (he's certainly not everyone's cup of tea), but at the very least try to understand that he is talented and knows his craft. He didn't get the role of Kirk by being an asshole and demanding it or coasting by on his looks. (As my love of James Stewart has taught me, actors can hold the opposite political views as you (and even the films they worked in!) but still be immensely talented at their craft.)

Items to consider and ruminate on as they have altered my brain and they lurk around in my posts from time to time:

Franny & Zooey by JD Salinger; book of all time for me, and I love it to pieces, and my 10+ year old paperback is splitting between pages 82 and 83

The novels of EM Forster; his use of pathos! I feel like I'm being invited along to tea with how genially he writes. Ahead of his time in so many ways

Erotism by Georges Bataille; I read the introduction 10+ years ago for a philosophy class and it stayed with me. Fascinating ideas despite limitations of the era in which he wrote (intro here)

Other info: I am an adult. I have no preferences for pronouns, so perceive my gender as you will. I am prone to rambling and being very verbose in my writing, especially depending on how thorough I am trying to be, so read mores are used to keep posts looking short or help warn about content, if need be. I do enjoy making silly posts (like my some of my videos) but I also enjoy being thorough with analysis.

[itsasweater]

I'm sorry but why do I have to feel bad and be understanding for EJ about him dealing with the production in season 3 and the pressure from his father when that same grace wasn't given to Ricky during season 2? I seen a lot of yall putting most of the blame for his failings in season 3 on Gina, like what? Siding with the white male and putting all the blame on the teenage girl, just nasty. Ricky was being bashed all up and down the timeline during season 2 on here and twitter for how he was acting while he was dealing with his messed up home situation. EJ stans were having a blast laughing all up and down the timeline about it, don't make me post the receipts. That shit that happened to EJ is karma for how yall were acting about Ricky during season 2, but you want people to give him grace and understanding for his situation.... pleeeaaassssse be for real! Bunch of hypocrites.

Kat-Writes got yall brainwashed or something. I never forgot when that women went at people (Rina's) on twitter for a harmless video of fans asking questions to Matt, yet couldn't take the time to send out a tweet telling off Portwell's (undercover Rini's) about how they were treating Sofia. This girl was like 16 when she posted that tweet about having Gina and Rina fans back and she had to delete it because of how nasty people responded to that, which included plenty of racism. So she will put on a cape for a white male but nothing for the the girl of color. I guess she can't call out Portwell's though because that would be essentially biting the hand that feeds her, can't call them out because she needs them to read her articles and like her posts smh. Coming on here saying #JusticeForEJ like please have some shame.

You can't expect me to feel bad for EJ when yall stans of his were having a good old laugh up and down the timeline during season 2 about Ricky's situation. After seeing yall do that? You want others to feel bad for EJ? Yeah it's a no from me.

All of you also come on here and twitter saying this and that about Rina's like yall weren't absolutely disgusting to them during season 1 and 2. It was a pretty small part that were even Rina's at that time too, yet yall say Rina is fanservice even though that pairing was the most hated because it threatened Rini. Now you want to play innocent and act like the way Rina's come at you guys isn't karma for how yall treated them. Calling them delusional and other things is funny because boy do yall look dumb now, yall sure was confident Rina wasn't going to happen even though all the evidence was slapping yall in the face that it was . Season 4 sounds like a Rina movie, hope yall haters enjoy watching. I know I will. The salty tears in here and twitter will sure be plenty from Rina anti's

Like this is just some silly little Disney+ show but yall be dumb on here for real.

[gladiolidiaries]

do you think we'll ever get a good content schedule from them? i feel like a broken record talking about it, and maybe i'm just too hopeful but i miss their dynamic and fun silly minecraft videos. now it just seems like they can't settle on what to do since they need to work on the next big thing or just something new that hasn't been done before.

tbh i get it for dream the pressure is always high on him especially as the top mc channel who was known for being one of the best at the game, manhunt, the speedruns, and having consistent hits. plus he just has so much shit going on 😭💀 people hate him for crying, and ppl are now calling him random ass nasty words like everyone is out to get his ass 💀. and his mc content could honestly in my humble opinion change things positivity for himself and dteam as a whole. plus the drituation thing// whatever is going on with that... so i get him if he wants to plan new things because pressure is definitely high. at least we get some casual still fun mc videos in between. the problem is when that's going to be released.

now george idek what's going on he said he got a project he's working on./but what if it's really just some behind the scene work/business and we've just fucking delusional. can someone just make him a model he would love it tbh. plus we're never going to get another minecraft but my friend is... because he said they're old now (?) or boring i forgot what. i really want his youtube career back, but if he doesn't want to i wish we could get fun irl streams again. i feel like if he at least was consistent doesnt have to be a weekly thing maybe even monthly would be good with some tweet announcement in advance it would be so much fun..

now sapnap,,, i like his mc content the last dteam videos were so good, but everytime i finished a video i would just get sad because we wont have another one for who knows how long.. plus he's not overly obnoxious in his youtube vids so it's fun and makes me like him a lot... his streams --he's so inconsistent,, bro keeps lying to us-- i like them sometimes but i get annoyed at how he practically has nothing planned (i get it's a 'daily' thing) and sometimes when i see him yawn i get annoyed because broooo... i wish he could actually play his hardcore world and do fun little adventures on there that would be fun to watch,, but bro just sings along to songs (it just happens all the time)..

they fumble so hard.. like sapnap could be doing so much more on his streams, but since he just waits around obviously only his very dedicated fanbase will watch or others would just watch recaps since it's not really a you need to be there thing. dream needs to get his shit together and start giving himself harsh deadlines or something like that so he can start pushing things out. george well i wish he could stream, we /hannah give him countless ideas..... just miss dreamteam honestly,, give me back the three mc nerds please.... i really just want their mc videos back

honestly i'm past waiting and i'm past caring at this point. i think its bc my hyperfix died but i can't even make myself care anymore, i've reached acceptance about how they handle their career and content.

i don't think that regular dteam content is coming, ever 😭

[inkyboyo]

hii sorry if you've already made a post about it or something but i'm curious as to how u got into smosh!! i feel like its rare to hear about new people in the fandom so i was just wondering about ur story :3

thank you for the ask i appreciate it a lot!!!

i haven’t really made a post talking about how i got into smosh so i’m so happy to answer this!

for reference, i had and have been an anthony padilla fan for a whiileeee since i was 10 years old because of his “i spent a day with” series, but i never knew about smosh until 7th grade maybe? and even then i had just heard about it.

funnily enough, i recently remembered that i had listened to that one h3h3 podcast episode with ian and markiplier so i had heard ian talk about smosh but i still had no idea what it was and didn’t make the connection that he was talking about anthony Lol

anyways how i got into smosh!!!

in february, i because hyperfixated on classic smosh (early 2010s sketches) but i didn’t really know any of the lore, and i knew anthony left in 2017 and was empathic with it a lot but i didn’t really know details yk??

i was basically just watching iconic smosh sketches and watching some silly stupid sleepovers but that was it. the hyperfixation ended after a couple of days, but i’ve always been a fan of anthony so i didn’t completely detach from it.

anyways, when anthony tweeted out that they had bought smosh back, all of those feelings came FLOODING back and i was SO HAPPY.

and i quickly became super invested once again, and started watching WAYY more smosh videos, and for over a month i’ve been getting really into it (as you can tell from my blog LOL) and i actually know everyone now, and i absolutely love the new cast and love everyone at smosh, and i’m super excited about it all STILL even if i’m not technically hyperfixated on it anymore. it’s just a interest of mine now.

anyways sorry if this lengthy response is not what you wanted, i just got really passionate about it, hope you don’t mind! :)

[rukkako]

Y'know I was watching this video and it's made me think so much about so much shit tbh. It's kinda sad, not gonna lie. Like I get it- I've been in fandom for years, I know the drill, coping with memes has been a staple of fandom for ages- I was there for danganronpa, I was there for AOT, for CSM and many more.

This is kind of an insane rant so don't feel forced to keep reading. I just need to put this out there.

But the thing is, for a good while now, since a couple of years ago, I've been in this position where I... don't really see the appeal? Like yes, of course, the memes are funny. I laugh at them- I laugh at fraudkuna and at jogoat and at everything else because it's silly and goofy. But when I'm done laughing and I really think about it it kinda depresses me. How must the author feel? Seeing the people wreck and vandalize and humilliate some of the highest, most dramatic and cathartic moments of their most important work ever. How must that feel? The thing is, this isn't a question- you know how that feels. It feels bad. Akutami is lucky that he doesn't see the clownshow people are making of their show overseas, but when I see this I can't help but be reminded of a tale as old as time-artists that made drawings and those drawings became memes against the artist's will. We've seen it recently with the dancing lizard- The person who made it stated recently that the trend of redrawing Toothless over their 3D art caused them to get so depressed they switched from 3D to anime. (The tweet where they said this is sadly deleted, but if you look up "ka92 lizard" on twitter you can find some evidence, like this tweet.)

I don't like it. I don't like it because yes, I get that you're coping with the sadness the things happening in JJK are causing you- I know it's hard, I know you were very invested and I know this feels like the author may be straight up laughing in your face- but, in memeing the things happening in JJK, you strip them of everything- their shock value, their meaning, their significance, their relevance to their stories. You're no longer gonna remember that time Gojo died valiantly to protect everyone, you're gonna remember Fraudtoru Gojo and Fraudkuna and the King of Frauds and Nah I'd Win and Stand Proud, you're strong- and did I mention I'm NOT into JJK and yet I know every single one of these by hand?

I was into JJK. Nobara was my favorite character- watched Season 1 of the show and started reading the manga, saw her die, and I lost interest. And I was thinking of giving it another shot but this wave of shitposting has singlehandedly taken away my willingness too. Congratulations- now I know every single detail of this thing through stale, goofy memes that take away everything from the scenes they ridiculize and turn them into a mockery of themselves- because I've seen these memes, even if I read the manga and got caught up with everything, I wouldn't be able to experience it the way the author intended. Because when I see gojo dying or anytime Sukuna comes up or anything, I'll be reminded of these things.

I guess that's what all this comes down to. Respecting author intent. I feel like that has kinda been lost to everyone in recent years- when Marco died in AOT, back in 2013, you didn't see this phenomenon happen; people were sad, and sure some people were joking about it to cope but it never got to this level- people still let themselves be affected by the event, they let the incident get to them and touch them and they engaged genuinely with it. Are you really engaging genuinely with JJK if all you do is post goofy memes about what's happening and laughing? Is it really reaching you? Are you giving the story the chance to touch you or are you using your usual wall of irony to stop even something you willingly chose to engage with from changing and affecting you?

I read Umineko no Naku Koro Ni in 2018, and it changed my life. It meant so much to me that I refused, actively, to engage in fandom, I refused to look at any memes; it was my experience and it changed me as a person in ways I simply cannot describe without making this post any longer than it already is. It wasn't after about three years after that that I allowed myself to be, I guess, more light-hearted about it. And of course, you're well in your right to call me dramatic and to tell me that I'm over-dramatizing something that really isn't that big of a deal (and maybe I am, who knows), but even still after that there were very few memes that I really found funny. Because most of the memes everyone was making about it were ridiculizing some of the most horrible, hard-hitting parts of the story. And it was, and still is, my belief, that they took away the meaning, significance- the wheight of those moments just to make fun of them. And... I guess, at a core level, I felt like I never would like something like that to be done to my creations, so I didn't feel comfortable engaging with such content.

I'd like to make something clear- I'm not criticising YOU, JJK fan that loves the memes and lives for them and is nontheless still enjoying their experience reading JJK. If doing that is fun and enjoyable to you, go ahead- the JJK meme explosion has also given birth to many artists, I've seen animations about things happening in the manga that are so beautiful and stunning. But I guess my question is- are the memes allowing you to find new perspectives, new ways to interpret the story, are they deepening your understanding and connection to it, or are they making it more shallow, more blurry, weakening it?

Sorry for the long post- and again, I hope it's clear that I do not want to insult or berate anyone. This is just MY opinion. You can engage with the media you consume however way you choose. But please always bear in mind: is it genuine? Is it full of love?

That is all.

[around-and-around-we-go]

oh i should probably do a life update outside of i watch silly cannibal crime drama now, huh?

welp let’s see i…. went to a music video premiere (meat & greet by ice nine kills), didn’t finish student teaching so i’m redoing that, passed the first half of a big test i have to take while student teaching, no longer play dnd after being kicked from the campaigns i was in because of some friendship drama (more on that; if i can do a cut on mobile it’ll be below that. if not it’ll be like by a * down towards the bottom of the page), lost two friends the night before i reached 7 yrs clean from self-harm, reached 7 yrs clean from self-harm, was an extra in another music video (oh yeah don’t think i’ve really mentioned that here but that’s a new thing i’ve started doing when i can. got a taste of being an extra for a photoshoot for an ink merch drop, specifically their july nightmare on the ninth after nadia tweeted out about needing some people. pics and vids myself and other friends are in never saw the light of day cause there was an incident involving a shooting and a theater that happened like 2 days before the teasers were going up and the shoot was us being “dead” in a movie theater…), and that’s about it i think?

hopefully this works so anyway the drama/how i lost 2 friends the night before i was 7 yrs clean. So what happened was I’d taken a day trip after having a change of plans happen. Phone was almost dead so I put it in airplane mode as one does until I get home. I plug it in and take it off airplane mode only to find a wall of text from my now ex-dm (going to be calling him J from here on out). What the message boiled down to is J felt used as an outlet (which I was always open about dnd being an outlet for me), felt I wasn’t respectful of his time since I was five minutes late to a meeting with him and I somehow have time to party but no time to meet with him to plan something (reader I have never been to a party in my life, so I to this day have no idea where that claim comes from), I was passive aggressive towards other players (especially his new gf, calling her C) but didn’t provide evidence outside of one remark I made where I was out of line but it came from a place of annoyance, that I was a bad friend to one of our mutual friends (going to be calling her M), citing a tweet from my private twitter/vent twitter where I vented about being dropped/ghosted by a friend as soon as they start dating someone. He DOES NOT HAVE ACCESS TO BUT M DOES. And that I played with her feelings knowing that she liked me as more than a friend. Reader, I once again was never made aware of M’s romantic feelings towards me. I knew M was bi and that’s it. M knew I was aroace. He also thought 2 weeks was enough for things to get back to normal for me as if I wasn’t in a constant state of fight or flight and being beyond stressed for 11 weeks prior and was disappointed that nothing had changed.

He blocks me and I can’t defend myself, so I screenshot the message and send it to M. I wanted to hear M’s thoughts on the things said about her/that claim to be coming from her. I’d talked to M previously about feeling abandoned after she befriended C and started dating her now-ex boyfriend. We talked it out and I thought it was fine and handled. I thought we were fine. M had distanced herself again after the breakup with her now ex, so I gave her space, thinking that’s what she wanted. She didn’t talk to me and after a few attempts at reaching out and either getting ignored or very short answers, I stopped. To me those were signs she didn’t want to engage with me so I left her alone.

It apparently wasn’t handled. M told J I was being a bad friend because I ghosted her and wasn’t there for her and abandoned her. Which is what she did to me…. She took what she did to me and spun it to J. She took what I told her I was feeling and told J I was the one making her feel like that. Do I know why? Nope. And when it came to feelings, she apparently had a crush on me for about 8 months of our nearly year long friendship. M only stopped crushing on me as soon as she realized “you [me] were/are straight.” Reader, I never once said I was anything other than aroace and simp for male celebs/characters. M also said she only distanced herself after befriending C and dating her now ex because she felt she was treating me like a girlfriend. All we did was send good morning and good night messages and text/message each other a lot.

So yeah… two friendships up in flames because someone couldn’t be bothered to communicate their feelings to me and because they couldn’t tell someone else the truth. And M gets to keep all of our dnd friends that I introduced her to… and I think that somehow hurts way more than the friendship breakup. I lost a hobby and an outlet because of some petty drama…

[sincerelyinvain]

THREE: It was an accident I swear!

You arrive at the Kamisato estate after running back to your apartment for a quick outfit change, it was huge more bigger than you expected you thought you would get lost quickly but you saw thoma waiting for you near the gate, "you're here, I know you would get lost from how big the estate is so I'll be your tour guide for today!" he gives you a bright smile and guides you to the backyard, you also saw his laptop on a small table, "you could've just used your phone for the stream" you chuckle "you already know that I'm more better at the laptop than my phone, cmon don't you remember that cooking stream" you starting giggling as you recall the last time he used his phone for a stream, thoma pouts as you try and hold your laughter "yeah yeah don't even dare bring it up again yn" he playfully crosses his arms, "ok ok fine lets get to decorating already" he nods and shows you where the boxes of the decoration were as he sets up his stream. "Hi chat!" thoma shows his signature sunshine smile as he tries to greet his entire chat and thank donations as they come and go, "I'm with yn right now! say hi yn" you wave from a far while you were preparing a ladder, "yn is gonna do the banners while I'll be doing the flower arrangements".

Donation: Are you guys decorating for a wedding?

"Oh no we are decorating for a friend's anniversary, but it looks like that from the white flowers" "Well who knows maybe it could be our wedding and we wouldn't tell you" "Yn!" thoma's face heats up as he quickly faces you, you were giggling as the chat goes wild even after thoma clarifies it really isn't. After about an hour or less into decorating thoma is already done with the flower arrangements while you were still going up and down the ladder, while you were up the ladder thoma was just chatting with his viewers since there is only one ladder and as much as he wanted to help you wouldn't allow him, "What I'm saying is Itto shouldn't even be near a kitchen unless someone is supervising him like he's some child", you chuckle at thoma's silly rants, how cute you thought but all of a sudden the ladder was getting a bit unstable the more you go up and down then of course worst case scenario happens and while you were up the ladder it was slowly leaning forward unfortunately you didn't notice right away. "Yeah of course I'll be doing a cooking stream with noelle soon if I can, wait be right back I'll just get some water" thoma jogs to get some water and the moment he starts drinking he saw the ladder leaning and so did you. "oh shit" you felt it lean but it was too late to go down but you just prayed the grass was soft enough not to give you a concussion, you fell off the ladder of course, you were expecting to black out and wake up in a bed or something but nope not on thoma's watch. "Yn!" he dropped the water bottle not caring if it spilled or anything and ran to catch you, he catches you in his arms but your weight causes him to fall backwards, you were now on top of thoma making the perfect thumbnail for xingqiu's ynma video.

You heard thoma's heart beating as fast as yours, both of you had red faces and butterflies in your stomach, you quickly roll off thoma while he quickly runs to stream to turn it off, "wait why did you-" "I'll do an apology tweet later what matters is are you ok?" your heart was still pounding but you manage to nod without blurting out anything embarrassing, "good but let's um g-go inside" he stutters still blushing and sweating not from how hot it is outside but from what just happened. You go inside internally screaming to yourself while thoma was still outside fixing the small mess you two made, after cleaning up he returns and shows you to the bathroom to check for any bruises or cuts on you and himself, the whole 10 minutes was a painful and awkward silence, on his side was worrying about how you feel but you on the other hand stared at him the whole time wanting to get kiss him or something, it was honestly the hardest 10 minutes of your life, thoma breaks the silence by suggesting you to go home for now "let's meet up at the hideout tomorrow night if that's ok?" you nod and take your things to leave, thoma escorts you to the gate and waves good bye to you, doubts flooded your thoughts thinking if thoma might hate you or something but thoma now inside the house screamed and squalled while on the floor rolling over but of course happy moments come to an end and the doubts flood his mind as well. You both hoped that you wouldn't hate each other or feel uncomfortable after the accident.

"Thoma! ayaka and I are back!" it was 1:54 am, ayato puts down all the shopping bags while ayaka looks for thoma, "thoma!!" before you know it ayato finds thoma slumped in the back of the kitchen counter, "hey thoma are you ok?" "I'm fine something just happened and I'm having some doubts" ayaka and ayato look at eachother and approach thoma "hey you could tell us" thoma slowly explains what happened, "so you think that she'll feel uncomfortable when she sees you again?" "yeah..." "are you sure it was an accident or did you you know make it-" "Ayato!" ayaka hits her brother's shoulder "alright I'm sorry I'm sorry" ayato sighs at the same time as ayaka, they give thoma some advice and they all go head to bed.

( masterlist )

( taglist: @minyoungieee @artemfication )

[sandsofdteam-moved]

well sapnap was getting glitched out for a bit so maybe I will be a little evil a little silly if u will but a little rant under the read more abt the zach thing

I mean right off the bat I feel a resounding disappointment. I haven't really watched the try guys in a while and I do still feel bad for them—Ned was irresponsible and his actions left the rest of the Guys and his family scrambling to save their company, their reputations, and just their lives as they knew it, and they faced tons of heat online for 'covering it up' before they released their explanation video last weekend. We especially have seen how horrible internet users can be to people they think are condemnable, and I'm certain they were on the receiving end of that hate.

That being said, you'd think that Zach would know a lot better than to turn around and do that same thing to someone else. I don't know if he ever saw the full extent of the bullying he faced on the internet after the reveal, but idk I'd think regardless saying that someone should be bullied more for their looks shouldn't even be a tweet that should've crossed his mind???

Idk on one hand I get it, there's rife misinformation about Dream being a catch-all for every single horrible thing someone can be, but even then you don't ADVOCATE for bullying based on their looks?? Like at the very least you aim for their actual idiocy and call out the apparent hypocrisy (even if it's untrue). Then to double down and say that encouraging bullying someone's looks is a "hot take" was just fanning the fucking flames. Like come on, there's a brain up there, I saw it during the video that they posted that explained their situation and their stances in the best possible way. He's being an idiot and definitely deserves people calling out his hypocrisy and for how easily he stooped to the lowest level without even looking into possible misinformation, especially given the last couple of weeks he's had too. Hope he learns from this, but he's not really worth the energy and it's way better to ignore him than fight with try guys defenders given that he's in a much more sympathetic position with the greater internet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also don't love the "oh I knew it"s and the turning around and bullying him back because it's only fodder for people to fight back—it's not worth it and it's way better for people to see that he's an asshole instead of people seeing us on the same wavelength. just my personal MO though I get it's not for everyone and it's not my place to tell anyone what to do lmfao

[stormblessed95]

Can we talk about jm saudi Arabia vlive if we haven't talked it already

Like common it was obvious someone was there with him. And it was 101% a man. All my personal guess goes to Mr jeon.

https://kanmom51.tumblr.com/post/653573386227826688/hlo-i-hope-u-have-seen-jm-saudi-arabia-vlive

I read this by @kanmom and agrees with her.

Also I do think the aha coming towards end was not from jm but man behind whom jm was staring at the moment and his expression changed atm the noise came like keep quiet don't make any noise.

But I would like to hear your opinion also.

Link you sent and added on this ask from @jkandjm that definitely cracked me up. The accuracy of this comparison was uncalled for! Lmao what am I supposed to do now:

I'll add my post over the Jungkook is Jimin's manager theory here too:

And the link for the original vlive:

And the link for the post where @kanmom51 talks about this vlive that you sent me:

The Bangtan Bomb of Jimins birthday surprise that happened at the concert the day before this vlive where he once again talks about how JK was so happy and excited during this surprise and the concert, which made Jimin feel even happier:

Also let's note the lack of honorifics again in the BB from JK, but we will be charitable and excuse it because technically they were speaking in another language here. Lol

I'll also just throw in this tweet here about Jikook staying later than everyone else and rehearsing together longer and then going home to the hotel together the day before SA concert.... soooo, just another piece in the timeline if you so choose:

So wow. This was mostly just a post where I sent everyone here to OTHER sections of the internet with all these links 😂 sorry!

With all these links, I honestly don't have much to add. I know I normally break down what happens in these vlives and cover everything, not just the moment requested. But Kanmom did a decent job of that and while I do think Jiminie is the cutest and everything should be mentioned that he touches on, I'll just tell you to go watch it yourself and enjoy! He is so calming. So instead, I'll direct you to her post and say that I basically agree. I don't think Jimin was thanking someone behind the camera when he looked off camera saying thanks, he truly was thankful to ARMY, and I'm sure JK and the rest of the members got plenty of personalized thank yous from him already. It looked to me like a natural eye flick over when someone in the same room as you is doing something as you try to talk to someone else. It happens. But it does make you think someone WAS in the room.

Now the o-ho sound made. I legit did spend time trying to make that exact noise while slightly smiling like Jimin was without moving my mouth at all. I invite you all to do the same and feel a little silly with me. 😂 I couldn't do it. To make the elongated oo sound, my lips had to move. Maybe Jimin has some ventriloquism skills in his back pocket we don't know about. The more likely scenario would be that the someone in the room made the sound instead. Which also explains what looks like Jimin moving and then shutting the door to his bedroom to say goodbye to ARMY. He kicked the someone out of the room for some peace and quiet because they were not doing a good job at being quiet. Lol

Yes. I think that was someone was JK. Refers you back to my JK is Jimins manager post above. Thanks for the good sum up Kanmom! You basically did the work for me here. 💜

He was so cute and so sweet this whole vlive. Just wanted to share stories and talk to ARMY.

Thanks for the ask! Don't think I added much, but hope it helped anyway! If anything to just compile it all in one spot! Lol

[transphilza]

mourning log from a few days ago

(didn’t post this at first but these feelings came back to me since i hadn’t posted them / vented them so i figured i might as well. added in some thoughts from today as well. obvious cw for death and grief)

spent a lot of time [while i was away] just letting myself be upset about techno some more… i knew the grief would come back around for me, i could kind of sense the ebb of it and i knew i’d need time again. it’s kind of worse in a way; at least all the crying my eyes out for days on end i did at first was cathartic (and also completely incapacitated me so i at least had an excuse to myself as to why i couldn’t get anything done.) now i don’t cry as much, or when i do it’s just a little — instead i just sit around feeling heavy and dull and sad. i keep finding myself still thinking, habitually, of when he’ll come back. i have moments while watching other people’s streams where i suddenly find myself anticipating him joining the vc, i have dreams of him streaming and sometimes i wake up and i have to remind myself of what’s real and what isn’t. just like i did before, i get struck with random bouts of missing him, except this time each wave comes with the reminder that he’s not coming back, and that fact hasn’t gotten any easier, not really

i finally got around to rewatching the emduo turtle stream for the hundredth time… i tried, before, but i couldn’t do it, and i tried again while i was gone and it was a bit better though not by much. watching from phils perspective instead of techno’s probably helped to be honest... i got a bit overzealous after that and tried to continue watching techno’s steering wheel vod but then i started crying and couldn’t stop so i had to switch away again. it always feels so strange and wrong when that happens, crying so much to something that usually would make me so happy; crying to a silly video of a guy i love playing minecraft, of all things lol

i sort of just can’t stop thinking about how young he was. same age as my brother, only a few older than me, he was barely getting started and i just feel so horrible that he didn’t get more time. it’s kind of obvious to say but it’s just so unfair, and it’s not hard for that unfairness to make you feel really hopeless about a lot of things. though i try not to let it, because techno wouldn’t want it that way

it’s… i can feel myself trying to compartmentalize what happened: when i watch videos with him i keep finding myself mentally figuring out if it’s from pre or post diagnosis.. both make me feel awful though so i don’t know why i keep thinking about it. if it’s from before i get so upset because i just miss when everything was okay. if it’s from after i get upset because even though he was as funny and energetic as always on stream, it would have been one of the last few things for his channel he got to do, and the knowledge that he was going through such a difficult and painful experience during that time makes me upset too, because he didn’t fucking deserve it. the unfair thing, again

i‘ve been thinking about that doc tweet a lot since i saw it a few days ago to be honest. he said everything there — “It is normal to feel very sad losing someone you loved and cherished. Eventually you will be able to look back and remember the good feelings you had watching.” like… ow. yeah. i just hope so. i get a lot of techno videos in my recommended and i’ve been watching them pretty regularly; the shorter content like that is a lot easier for me to just smile and laugh to while i watch without that nagging hollow feeling coming back too badly like it often does when i watch vods. i still flinch away from the sight of the last video every time i go on his channel to find something though and i don’t know when that will go away but yeah. it’s a weird feeling, you know? like when i’m watching and he does something that makes me laugh and smile, sometimes it’s okay, and other times my chest twists all of a sudden and there’s a pit in my stomach and it’s all too much to think about. it’s just strange

as i mentioned i started writing a c!techno closure fic, but it’s going to be so emotionally intense to write that i’m sure it’ll be hard to finish and hard to let other people read. even just the snippets i wrote last night sort of opened the floodgates of feelings and i woke up today thinking about it…. shoutout to c!ranboo dying so i can project my feelings about death onto him in this lol. also c!bedrock bros reconciliation scene IS HAPPENING. so you know. but yeah hahahaah i hope when it’s done maybe it helps someone

i’m borderline just a phil appreciation blog at this point but like seriously i’m always feeling so very very grateful for philza; if this has taught me anything it’s that he is definitely my ultimate comfort streamer lol. i’d gotten super into watching his vods on a near daily basis the last handful of months before the news, but ever since losing techno i have like completely latched onto him. i don’t think there’s been a single day since the news where i haven’t watched something of phil’s, he really helps me a lot. the fact that he’s constantly been the one to put himself out there for the benefit of the community and supported us even when it was hard for him too means a lot. christ

okay theres words. hopefully now that i have catalogued them here i will be able to think a bit less about them — that’s usually how it works with me :) i’m feeling a little wonky today so maybe i will channel that into some writing before bedtime

❤️ cia