#and hes not totally hopeless in his own zone.

[3416]

maple leafs once again proving they're stupid as fuck by signing domi over bertuzzi. we lose scoring in players like nick robertson and who is gonna replace that????????????? if they don't go out and somehow get another forward, goalie, and another top 4 dman with the money left so help me god...

[bullet-and-brain]

here’s a rant abt dan heng’s rating pistol results and why they’re weird (bc they are. there’s no doubt that most of the numbers are pop culture/history/etc., but that’s not to say that they don’t have any significance). so if you’re interested uhh look under the cut (i hope i did that right)

there are currently six playable characters who, upon interacting with the rating pistol, are deemed ‘invalid’:

• acheron

• jing yuan

• feixiao

• luocha

• march

• sampo

it’s a pretty widely-accepted theory that these six characters are emanators, seeing as each one is either outright confirmed (acheron) or hinted at in some way, largely through innate connections with their respective paths.

seeing as herta, another confirmed emanator, isn’t on the list, it would seem as though this theory is false, right?

no!!!!! ! i’ve seen people claim that the pistol wouldn’t be able to give her playable form an accurate rating, due to the puppet body she occupies- it would make sense for the number to be misleading, because her true soul is, arguably, not present within the puppet, especially considering how many clones there are.

i don’t doubt this honestly. dan heng’s 5* form prompts a revelation from the pistol that it didn’t detect from his human form- albeit with the same number, but herta’s case is vastly different, as outlined above.

his 4* form is given 88 points (with a question mark at the end, though i truly don’t remember it being there during those first few patches..). this description is written in the standard format that’s used for most of the playable cast.

when you interact with the curio as imbibitor lunae, you get the exact same number- 88? - however, he is one of the few characters who has unique dialogue following the initial rating. here’s his:

The Rating Pistol gazed at Dan Heng: “88 points?” Feeling puzzled, it moved its eyeballs around and suddenly shut its eyes. It seemed to be sulking for being fooled.

> quickly note that the only other character whose rating is followed with ‘?’ is huohuo (& tail):

The Rating Pistol gazed at Huohuo: “0 points? 5 points?” It sized Huohuo up for a while before it looked away into the distance with a hopeless expression.

> it’s possible that the question marks are due to the uncertainty of there being two people to rate at once, but i doubt it- clara & svarog don’t have the question mark, nor does the pistol look hopeless lol

so, basically:

- the pistol is unsure of how huohuo should be rated for some reason, hence the question mark, and eventually gives up

- the pistol is also initially unsure of how to rate dhil, hence the question mark again. HOWEVER, instead of becoming hopeless, its eyeball moves around and suddenly shuts, and we’re told that it appears to be sulking due to being fooled. to me, this implies a realization that occurred after the 88 points were given, but before it closed its eye, presumably to pout.

that being said, i’d like to point out the similarities that dhil’s prompted dialogue has w/ the ‘invalid’ dialogue, as far-fetched as it may be:

“Rating invalid!” Its eyeball swivels around three times before suddenly widening. After a brief impasse, its eye shuts, wearily.

these are the only times that the pistol is said to move its eyeball and to shut its eye. which could very well mean absolutely nothing, but that + the fact that he is very unique in the origin of his powers (even among his own race, which descended from an aeon) makes me think it could be slightly important . even if unintentional, the hazy parallel to emanators is cool to me, considering that we don’t have a clear answer regarding the extent of his powers lorewise, either.

a lot of this is copium from a total drought of permanence lore ajajdh

anyways. even if this is totally dumb i needed to put it somewhere so i don’t go insane

[fandaniel]

i do think you have to be a bit media illiterate to not understand that fandaniel is the way he is because hermes is so terrified of death and despair that it does a full one 180 and becomes this hysterical embrace of his fears in their totality. maybe the only reason i understand this is because i have severe anxiety, but there’s this peak you reach that i have coined “The Fuck It Zone” where everything becomes so scary and you feel so out of control that you stop fighting it and turn around and run directly at it. it’s a total acceptance of the absurdism of the life around you that is a cover up for true, unending fear and hopelessness that’s incredibly cathartic in its own way and i think they do a REALLY good job of portraying how hermes’s soul gets to that point overtime.

real as fuck!!!!! i understood and i love you. completely agreed its so easy to wrap around how hermes fell into that mode. fuck it all. maybe my fears are so right. plus knooowing. the guilt the unending guilt. that he fucked up soo badly and he repeats his endless pursuit in every life. bro has suffered more than jesus perchance idc he is wrong he says he is and never Really stops you from stopping him because he knows this on some level

[ccaramel-llow]

Total drama x Mari! Reader.

! High school au. ! !NOTE! You dont look like mari, You just have her personality!

Beth

{ Platonic }

She looks up to you as a sister figure!! She loves it when you wear her friendship bracelets you made her!! She'll invite you to her house and do your hair, Then you guys talk about your main interests! Whenever heather is around she always tries to hide you because she fears you could end up like her. She loves to listen to you play piano, If you mess up she tries her best to comfort you <3 When you comfort her when she thinks shes too ugly for her own good, You boost up her ego. Now whenever your around shes more happier than Chris getting paid 100 million every month - If you were to ever give her anything, She'd brag about it "Guysth guysth!! Look!!! (Y/n) mathe me thiz new brazelet!!" - And always wears it everywhere

Beth

{ Romantic }

To be honest, I find her as a hopeless romantic - She likes to do your hair and hold your hand everywhere you both go - She always offers to do something for you to impress you, Like she'll take groceries out your hand and fail - If you ever were to show the slightest bit of romantic affection, She'd gasp of happiness and remembers that moment for the rest of her life - If people were to shit talk you, She'd be so fucking mad and shit talk the person in their FACES like the girlboss she is - She likes to do your hair, She also likes to cook with you because your so encouraging - She loves listening to you hum the melody of a song your playing to on piano, She literally starts zoning off while focusing on you, And only you. - Gets flustered whenever you tease her <3

Cody

{Platonic}

He see's you as a big sister figure - Whenever you defend him from sierra he vents to you about how uncomfortable he was - He loves to watch you play piano because he thinks its so cool about how you could play so well - Freaks the fuck out when you get mad because you played a wrong note. - he'll invite you to his house and play chess with you - He let you won - he trusts you alot with everything^^ - He likes to eat your cooking, He thinks its amazing in every way possible - Your playful and mischievous personality surprised him because he never thought you'd be the teasing type because you were so soft and kind to people

{Romantic}

BROS LOVESICK - Your literally the only woman who loves him besides his mother - He lives with his parents and he either lives in the attic or the basement - He likes to share sweets with you!! - If you knew how to bake, Lord jesus christ hes even more into you then he thought - He smothers you with pda every day and night and noon - Probably tries to flirt with you but fucks up - Imagine hes leaning against a wall trying to pin you but he falls down and is now in the family guy death position - The silly likes to give you secret admirer letters <33 - He likes to kiss your hands or forehead!! - Takes you out to fun cute dates, Like an arcade or a park!!

{END.}

What characters do you guys want me to write for in the 2nd part ?

{- Please reblog or something, That is appreciated very much <33!!-}

[yeehawbvby]

It should’ve been me. | Piers x OC Maxine*

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Summary: Max loses her virginity to Nessa, both due to their mutual yearn for intimacy, and in an attempt to wipe her feelings for Piers from her mind.

After hearing about it, Piers reminds her why he’s so hard to shake in the first place.

Author’s note: This is part of a series of one-shots! This one in particular does need context, so please read them in order here.

<- the link won’t stay for some reason and I’m doing this on mobile so I can’t seem to fix it rn. Please see my SWSH masterlist on my pinned post for the rest of this series. :’)

Give it some love on ao3!

Between Piers totally not telling Max that he loved her, and all of the times they’d sucked each other’s faces off since then, Max was beginning to feel hopeless. She needed a way to distract herself — to move on, to be able to still have her fun with him without the romantic feelings attached. Bonus points if her solution would get her to stop wishing they could just fuck nasty any time he merely looked at her a certain way.

That’s how Max found herself between her friend Nessa’s sheets (well, technically on Nessa’s fluffy living room rug) just a few weeks after her and Piers’ Halloween escapades.

Nessa was having troubles of her own, in a grueling will they-won’t they loop with Sonia. She had some experience, but none with women, and Max had no experience at all; so after a few hours of laughing, venting, and even flirting a little as the idea slowly crept into both of their minds, they decided to just go for it.

When Piers got the text that his roommate was staying out for the night, he thought nothing of it. It wouldn’t have been the first time she stayed at a friend’s place, and he’d known Nessa since they were kids in the gym challenge. He had nothing to worry about…

Until the next day, when Max plopped down cross-legged onto his bed and broke the news: “I lost my virginity last night.”

She held up a fist for him to bump, a smug and shit-eating smile painted on her face. It faltered when Piers didn’t return the gesture right away, instead staring at her slack-jawed in awe.

Noticing that, he kicked into autopilot, touching his knuckles to hers.

Say something, idiot. “Uh,“ he finally went on, “wow.”

Max snorted. “Not gonna lie, I thought there would be more fanfare than that.”

Stop being weird, “No, I’m just— Nessa, huh?” Max nodded too enthusiastically for his liking. “So are you two like…”

She raised her eyebrows slightly, then shook her head when she caught his drift. “She needed a distraction from some romantic squabbles,” so did I, “and I was kinda curious,” at least that’s not a lie, “so we figured we’d try it out. For funsies.”

Slowly nodding, Piers zoned out on Max’s shoulder for a moment. Then, feeling hopeful that sex with Nessa wasn’t all it was cracked up to be for her, he asked, “So. How was it?” He wiggled his thick brows, trying to play it cool as he leaned back on his palms.

Max covered the lower half of her face with her sweater, swaying side-to-side to stim a little while she thought up an answer.

While she still had feelings for Piers, the previous evening’s romp had done exactly what she needed it to do; now her mind was split between him and Nessa, with Nessa taking precedence.

Her brain flickered back to her friend’s slim and toned body, her expressive eyebrows, her dark and hungry gaze. The silkiness of her skin, the softness of her lips, her tangy-sweet taste, her blissful sounds…

And of course, the way Nessa very kindly popped a few of her press-on nails off, so as to not hurt Max when she tended to her in return.

“And they say chivalry’s dead,” Max had jested just before Nessa slipped a finger inside her.

Max punctuated the sentence with a shy moan, and Nessa was so mesmerized by the idea of making a woman produce that noise that she couldn’t find a witty response to quip back. It was entirely out of character, but Max was too zooted off of her touch to notice or care.

After receiving a second finger, Max’s back arched and she compulsively threaded a palm through Nessa’s hair, unsure of where else to grip onto. The carpet wasn’t enough.

“Hoooly shit,” the gym leader whispered, resting her cheek against Max’s thigh. Watching her with those bright, oceanic eyes; her plump lips forming into a gentle smile before she gave up all restraint, parting them against Max’s slit to allow room for a languid, world-shattering stroke of her tongue…

Max took a deep breath, grounding herself in the present. Couldn’t get stuck daydreaming — at least, not now.

“It was really nice,” she settled, hiding herself further to cover her warm cheeks.

Shit, Piers thought to himself. He was happy that Max was happy, but there was a dense pit in his stomach telling him that her response was the worst thing that could’ve come out of her mouth.

That it should’ve been him making her blush and fluster like this.

So he did what he does best: he performed a little. Hammed up the good vibes to avoid a situation in which he was acting so strange or looked so solemn that Max noticed, or worse, asked him about it.

“Aw,” he cooed, teasingly, “don’t tell me you caught feelings from a one night stand.” Please say no…

Max rolled her eyes, smiling. She dropped her collar in favor of meekly shoving his shoulder as she responded, “No way! I’m just…” she paused, then thought aloud, “What’s the pussy version of ‘dicknotized?’” She giggled mid-sentence, realizing how dumb that sounded.

Piers joined in, his nose scrunching. At least her silliness could distract him from the emotional ache. “Fuck if I know,” he mumbled. “Pussytized, I guess?”

“Coochietized!”

“Nooo,” he feigned disappointment, pointing a finger as if scolding a pokemon for being naughty.

Max was quick to lunge at the digit and lightly chomp down, playing along. Unfortunately, Piers’ maybe probably perverted ass could only wonder what it would feel like if she’d sucked on it instead.

He then thought to himself that maybe he should take a page out of her book and go get laid. Or would it be Nessa’s book, since she was the one — as far as he knew — looking for a distraction..?

Whatever.

As he wiped his recently bitten finger against Max’s sleeved arm, he chuckled, “Alright, weirdo.” He picked up the notebook and pen beside him and nodded at her, “Get outta here, I have work to do.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she grumped, a knee cracking as she untangled her legs and got up. “Ough,” she reacted under her breath, rubbing her kneecap.

Piers snorted and called her a grandma; before he could even finish the word, Max was already telling him to can it.

When she got to the door, she bid her farewell with a simple “Later.”

Her roommate grunted back, his focus plastered to the empty page in his lap. He didn’t actually have work to do, at least not for now, but maybe he’d do it anyway. He just needed to ignore that their whole conversation happened, and then he’d be fine, yeah?

He sighed, laying back with his head and mane draped off the side of the mattress. Pressed the notebook to his forehead and shut his eyes. Tried to the best of his ability to avoid thinking about his love and one of his closest friends having sex... Opened his eyes with an annoyed growl when he inevitably failed because he was trying so hard to not let it happen.

He couldn’t help but wonder what it was like for Nessa in particular, getting to have such intimacy with the person who he thought was the cutest girl in the fucking world.

It should’ve been me, Piers thought a second time.

He sat back up and began chewing his pen’s cap. He wanted to know what it felt like for both of them, actually — not because of Nessa, though. Sure, she was objectively stunning, but he was more so curious about what it was like to experience all of that with someone else. To get off without doing the work himself. To feel and kiss and taste someone’s bare skin, and get that in return…

God fucking damnit, he thought again, It really should’ve been me.

__

Piers spent several hours pacing, changing positions on his bed, aimlessly strumming his guitar, and staring blankly at the walls and ceiling of his room.

Nothing he could do would distract him from the matter at hand. He didn’t want to play games or watch TV, didn’t feel like going outside, and couldn’t focus on reading. Didn’t have anyone to confide in, since he hadn’t told anyone about his love for his friend. He refused to.

Somewhere amidst his wallowing, Piers discovered that — in a dark, hidden corner of his mind — his jealousy morphed into possessiveness.

Max wasn’t his, by any means. She was her own person. She could do what she wanted — who she wanted.

But in a weird way, he felt like she was his. They were each other’s best friends, first kisses, first awkward make outs and teeth-bumps and dry humps. He was her first everything…

Well, except for this. And that sucked.

Piers wanted to remind her of that. Give her a quick jumpstart, a little razzle dazzle. Like a “Hey, don’t forget about me” sorta thing.

The more he thought this way, the stupider he felt. But the heart wants what it wants, or whatever, and Arc’s sake he wanted her with every ounce of his being, so fuck logic.

Some faint lip popping sounds and even fainter footsteps nearby indicated that Max had left her room. The well-rounded trainer had a ghost-type preference, but she might as well have been a ghost herself; her consistent tiptoeing made those creaky old Spikemuth floorboards sound like they’d barely been worn in.

Piers let a few beats pass before getting up to follow his friend, meeting her in the kitchen when he realized she wasn’t going out. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was trying to accomplish, but he got through a lot of life by winging it, so there he was.

Max grunted and nodded once in greeting as she grabbed various greens from the fridge, placing them next to her recently retrieved mozzarella, balsamic vinegar, and loaf of bread. Her long tresses were loose and tangled behind her, her tall and fuzzy socks fell uneven on her legs, and she seemed groggy. She must’ve been napping peacefully while Piers all but lost his mind over her just a room away.

Rather than continuing to scrutinize Max, he made himself look busy with the electric kettle.

Maybe that would be a good thing, actually; maybe some tea would calm him the fuck down…

He turned on the kettle.

“Yo,” he finally mumbled, perusing their tea bags. As if he had much of a choice in his selection. They only kept black and green around.

Max began assembling her snack, unceremoniously dropping two slices of bread down onto her plate before twist-tying the loaf’s plastic casing shut.

“So, uh,” her friend muttered as she changed tasks and he finally began to prepare a mug, “if I kissed you right now, would you be opposed to it?”

Max almost dropped the bag of spinach in her hands. When she chanced a peek at Piers, eyes wide and lips parted.

Her whole plan was to move on from him, but as soon as she heard those words, her stomach tumbled and her skin tingled and she felt flustered and frazzled and more than anything she felt so eager.

Because of that reaction, she took a few short moments to answer. Obviously, she wouldn’t have been opposed… but was that a good idea, now that she has some semblance of freedom from her deep-seeded affections?

While avoidance seemed to be the wisest play here, Max realized she probably couldn’t live without feeling Piers’ lips on hers every so often. She wasn’t sure how it would work when one of them eventually had an exclusive romantic partner, but they’d both cross that road when they got there.

So she spoke, “No,” averting her gaze so as to not give too many hints as to what was going through her mind.

Piers simply hummed a response. “Hm.” No elaboration, no quips back, nothing.

After taking the chance to observe him again — he was acting so weird, maybe something about his songwriting today was frustrating him? — Max decided she wanted some tea as well. Hot tea wasn’t a wonderful pairing for her cold sandwich though…

She opened the fridge back up and grabbed an unfinished bottle of sweet tea that she’d bought from a Pokemart the other day. After a few swigs, she was reminded why she’d never finished it. She chanced a new brand since they had been out of the one she regulared, but it was almost acrid, with more of a chemically sweet flavor than a sugary, tea-like one.

Amidst her sipping, she thought to herself that maybe Piers seemed off because he felt lonely, and maybe he was jealous that she got to pop her cherry and he didn’t… then she thought, Does that metaphor work for penis-havers?

Or maybe, she swiftly moved on, he was worried that she wouldn’t want to kiss him again after having slept with Nessa. Maybe he was just as reluctant for their unspoken contract to be rendered null as she was.

Maybe it was both.

Max screwed the cap back on that wretched bottle and popped it back in the fridge, wondering if Piers needed some reassurance. Maybe that’s what this was?

Amidst her attempt to bump the door shut with her hip, and before she could offer Piers the words she wanted to say, she was swiveled around by two large hands, too dumbfounded to speak while her bum and back closed the appliance.

Before she could question anything, Piers’ mouth was crashing into hers with a mind-numbing kiss; and before Max could wonder why he crouched to match her height rather than just bending his neck to meet her halfway, he scooped his palms behind her thighs and lifted her, forcing her to wrap her arms around his neck and legs around his hips for stability while she grew airborne.

The breath left her lungs with a hushed whine as Piers pressed himself to her, effectively pinning her to the fridge.

Nessa no longer existed.

All Max knew in that moment was the silkiness of Piers’ skin and the softness of Piers’ lips and his lithe body which had so much hidden strength, and—

Piers breathed audibly almost a hum before pausing, letting his parted lips linger against Max’s own with a featherlight touch. After a moment of shifting their mouths and heaving each other’s air, Max grew greedy, craning her neck forward to take what she wanted.

He widened the gap with a smirk, then faked her out, leaning in to lightly lick her bottom lip before tugging it between his teeth. Hearing the pitiful gasp that jolted past Max’s tongue, and ignoring how the sound made his heart sing, Piers kissed her again, hard and frantic.

Max sighed wistfully through her nose as she returned the gesture. She subconsciously tightened her thighs around Piers’ waist while her fists gripped strands of his bicolored hair close to his nape.

Confident she wouldn’t slip with her legs all but digging holes into his sides, Piers let his right hand move up; shifting Max’s sweater in its path, peppering gooserene bumps along her skin as his nails grazed it. Feeling how her body reacted to his touch, a thought invaded Piers’ mind.

He boldly felt the impulse to vocalize it.

“Did Nessa do this to you?”

The question went straight to Max’s pussy.

“What?” she breathed — almost moaned. Almost.

“She kiss you like this?” Piers murmured against her lips, wrapping his bare arm around her bare lower back. “Make your skin prickle like this?” he added, squeezing her opposite oblique in his fist.

Max’s back instinctively arched, both from the feeling and his words. Eyes glazed over with want, she kept her vision on the lower half of his face, too cowardly to look him in the eye.

Her cheeks and ears were growing redder, Piers observed. Natural, considering how personal those questions were, he thought.

Surely it had nothing to do with him asking them, his voice husky and low in a way that melted Max into a puddle. Never.

Max shook her head slowly. Nobody could hold a candle to Piers. Her body had never reacted so strongly to another person as it had to him. Maybe it never would.

In that moment, she was convinced it definitely never would.

“Good,” he whispered, resuming his kisses with the corners of his lips quirked up.

Why is that good? Max wondered. Why did it matter?

Was he just being a little shit? Was he teasing her?

Tangling his tongue around hers, Piers shifted his hips — whether it was on purpose or not was a mystery — and his crotch pressed hers in such a way that she had to swallow back a moan.

It didn’t matter why he thought that was a good thing, she decided. He could have thought anything he wanted as long as he didn’t ever stop whatever this was.

Part of her wondered correctly if he’d felt a sense of competition with Nessa now. Like they were competing for Max’s body, in one way or another.

The thought itself formed a whimper in Max’s throat, and unbeknownst to Piers, she was legitimately seconds away from throwing their pact out the window.

Like, she was going to do it.

She was going to ask him if he was jealous. If he felt like he needed to prove something, if that’s why his answer was just “Good.”

She was going to ask Piers if he wanted to try to one-up Nessa, if he would do the honors of blowing her fucking mind, body and soul. If she could compare them, erm, for science, or something.

But when she parted her lips to speak, Piers eased her down, gave her one last peck, and fucking thanked her.

“Thanks, bruv,” he smiled as he scruffed her hair.

The questions died in her throat.

Dumbly, Max stood against the fridge trying to gather her bearings.

Feeling much better now that all of that was out of his system, Piers poured the boiled water into his mug and walked off, jostling the green tea bag so as to help the flavor distribute.

Max eyeballed her unmade sandwich. Her head was spinning. She wasn’t hungry anymore, but maybe food would distract her from the absolute monsoon between her legs…

She heard Marnie’s little footsteps pad down the hallway and towards her. She needed to focus, lest the little lady ask her why she’s being weird.

So, with a sigh, Max resumed, praying to Arceus she wouldn’t chop a finger off while daydreaming about what could have been.

[xenon-demon]

After my original musings on the Streamers!Stobin & Deranged Fic Author!Eddie AU (post linked here), here are some more thoughts, Ronance Edition:

In this universe Nancy is also a streamer who uses Nancy Keene as her professional name (in reference to the pseudonym used by the authors of the Nancy Drew books, Carolyn Keene), except her content revolves around political commentary and reporting on whatever major news is breaking on the internet. She focuses on correcting misinformation and providing reputable sources for things, since we all love purposefully spreading misinformation on the internet (surely we all know the meme I’m referencing), mainly so that when she issues or accepts a challenge to publicly debate someone she knows she’ll aboslutely wipe the floor with them. Her political commentary is pretty iron-clad as well, to the point where it just makes the conservatives look bad when they say she doesn’t know what she’s talking about because not only is it obvious she does, but she probably wrote the book that everyone else learns about it from.

So Nancy Wheeler is usually very no-nonsense in her content. The most casual her streams ever get is when she’s doing a Q&A stream and might deign to answer a couple of questions about her personal life, as opposed to her political leanings or thoughts on journalism-related topics.

This is why no one really knows how to handle it when she pops up as a special guest on BirdBox_’s twitch stream. What’s more, they’re playing Minecraft together, and Robin is busy building their base and making it look all pretty while Nancy goes charging into the mines for resources.

Neither of them address it for the entire two hour stream, just acting like it’s totally normal and common for them to collaborate together like this - and from the way they’re interacting, they’re clearly close. There’s a few moments that come across as awkward, where Nancy makes a joke that Robin laughs just a bit too hard at, or Robin rambles on about something the way she does and Nancy’s response comes in too late, her webcam showing she’d just zoned out and stared at her screen. These moments are outnumbered by the number of times they genuinely thrive in conversation, such as bouncing off each other and one-upping a joke until they both get killed by a creeper because they got distracted laughing. (Nancy was so mad about that one, she had 10 diamonds in her inventory that just got lost forever.)

Seeing how well they get on, and how much they’re both clearly enjoying it, both Nancy and Robin’s fans decide to just roll with it. There’s a healthy subset of Nancy’s fans who have wanted to get to know her a bit beyond her professional persona and hope she doesn’t feel pressured to only make that kind of content, and Robin’s fans are enjoying seeing a different side of her to the one that comes out with Steve. It’s a win-win-win; the fans get some great content, and Nancy and Robin get to spend some quality time together and get paid to do so. Fantastic.

Afterwards, Robin is an absolute mess, obsessively watching and rewatching the VOD and bemoaning how obviously smitten she looks. She won’t stop on her own, so Steve has to hide her laptop in the one place she’ll never look for it - the drawer in his bedroom containing his sex paraphernalia. (Which is really not as exciting as that makes it sound; Steve wishes he was having sex even a fraction as wild as some of the stuff his fans imagined him doing, but then just getting laid at all would be a good place to start. It’s hard out here for the hopeless romantics who want to get laid but are sick of it not meaning anything.)

Meanwhile Nancy, nearly a thousand miles away in Boston, has her sights set on a brand new mystery to solve; is Robin Buckley an appreciator of women? Does she by any chance kiss girls? How does she feel about the colors orange and pink, especially when there’s a white stripe in between them? Or the colors pink purple and blue for that matter, but Nancy’s already bringing those ones to the table. She’s absolutely not letting herself entertain any thoughts of what might happen if Robin is gay, since that would just be setting herself up for disappointment if she’s not. The internet seems convinced she’s dating her roommate-and-best-friend-and-business-partner, but Nancy’s never trusted the internet’s popular opinion before and she’s not about to start now.

Robin and Nancy keep streaming together. The ones on Robin’s channel are them playing games like Overcooked, Animal Crossing, a tonne of Minecraft (which Steve joins in on eventually and keeps building the ugliest houses ever), and on a few notable occasions It Takes Two. The streams on Nancy’s channel are less frequent, and usually consist of Robin popping in for a Q&A stream, but there’s been a few times where they’ll bounce back and forth off of each other in one of Nancy’s political commentary streams.

Before long people start shipping them. It’s mainly Robin’s fans, since Nancy’s fans are not the fandom type of people, but with all these new streams Nancy’s been doing with Robin she’s starting to build that sort of audience for herself as well. Robin is equal parts thrilled and mortified, because oh my god they think I should date my crush and are writing stories about me doing just that this is the best day of my life, but also oh my GOD poor Nancy must hate this and is never going to stream with me again. She doesn’t calm down about it until Nancy is asked about it on stream a couple of weeks after the shipping started to get really out of control - and that was all thanks to someone deciding to @ Robin and Nancy on twitter under a thread where someone had written an absolutely deranged fanfiction about them through the medium of fake social media screenshots.

(Nancy takes a long sip from her cup of tea before reading out the next question from her chat window. “Dear Nancy, how do you feel about being shipped with BirdBox_? Or people writing about you? Because BirdBox_ gets that sort of thing a lot but you haven’t had to state any boundaries about it before.”

Nancy hums to herself. “That’s a good question. You’re right, I haven’t had this kind of audience before - not that I mind, I love Robin’s fans and I’m so thrilled you’ve all seemed to welcome me in to your space.” Nancy leans back in her chair and looks off into the middle distance, her foot absentmindedly spinning her chair a little as she thinks. “I would say... it’s ultimately up to Robin. As you said, she has experience with this, and I trust her. Whatever she says her boundaries are, I have the same ones.”

Nancy looks back at the camera and smiles, pleased with her answer. After a moment, however, her eyes widen and she rushes to add, “And don’t make sexually explicit or inflammatory content about me, but I would hope that’s obvious enough that you wouldn’t do it anyway. And I would hope Robin’s told you not to do that too.”)

If Nancy’s quietly thrilled that people think she should date Robin, and is using this as a way to put the ball in Robin’s court about how she feels about dating another woman (maybe even dating Nancy specifically?), then that’s Nancy’s business and Nancy’s business alone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am not from the US, I know nothing about the country except what I learned from having a hyperfixation on Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance, all I know is according to google Emerson has a Boston campus so badda bing badda boom that’s where Nancy is. Stobin meanwhile live in Chicago, and I haven’t decided where Eddie is yet but my gut says Indianapolis. Actually yeah after thinking about this for five seconds I’ve decided, Eddie & the CC boys are from Indianapolis and grew up there.

Also for context, the gang (Steve, Robin, Nancy, the Party, basically everyone but Eddie and the CC boys) did still go to high school together in Hawkins only for the older teens to move away for college/to live their lives away from the shackles of rural midwest America. Upon finding out they all became streamers/internet content creators, Nancy reached out to Robin and Steve to say “hey, I don’t know if you remember me from high school, but I remember you!” and things snowballed from there until they became friends. (I haven’t decided if Steve and Nancy just never dated in this AU, or if they did and it was significantly less of a big deal due to the lack of Upside Down trauma. Plus I’m imagining them in their early-to-mid twenties here so even if they did date they’ve had longer to get over it.)

[whereareroo]

A WALK ON THE BEACH

WF THOUGHTS (7/19/24).

We’ve been home for about two weeks, and it’s been a real scorcher. Welcome to summer in South Carolina! The heat has been sweltering. We’ve had a string of 95 degree days, and the heat index has regularly been above 105. Thankfully, I like hot weather.

On most afternoons, I take a two mile walk on the beach. That’s the hottest part of the day. The heat doesn’t bother me. The sea breeze helps.

We have a beautiful beach. For much of the year, it’s almost empty. Right now, we’re in the middle of peak tourist season. This is not an upscale vacation spot. It’s a destination for working class people who are on a budget. The people watching is very interesting. Southern beaches are different. I spent the first 50 years of my life on the beaches alongside Long Island Sound. This is a very different scene.

You probably don’t walk on the beach every afternoon. Let me get you into a beach mood by sharing a few stories. As you continue to read, imagine that you’re on a hot beach.

The beach is full of fat ladies in skimpy swimsuits. That’s apparently a thing in the South. The women don’t hide anything. They flaunt their stuff. I think it’s refreshing. Too many women are repressed and uptight. If you’re at the beach, you should be comfortable and have fun. In the South, the beach is a “no judgment” zone.

As I was walking along the edge of the water on an extremely hot afternoon, I approached a group of four people. It was two men and two women. They were all in their 50s. They were up to their knees in the water. I noticed that they were very white, and I laughed because I knew that they’d be very red within an hour. From 25 yards away, I could hear the booming voice of a fat white guy who was in the foursome. He was dominating the conversation. As I passed, I saw that he was wearing a NY Yankees hat, a NY Yankees tank top, and a big gold (fake) NY Yankees necklace. Totally predictable.

On another day, I approached a woman in her 70s. She was alone, sitting near the water in a low beach chair. She was obviously a regular at the beach. Her skin had turned to brown leather from tanning, and her skinny body was full of wrinkles. As I got closer, I could see that she was sound asleep and that she had a frozen margarita pouch on her chest. That’s a thing down here. You can buy a margarita in a big pouch that resembles a juice pouch for kids. People freeze them and bring them to the beach. As I walked by, I noticed that there were two empty pouches under the lady’s chair. I guess that’s her typical beach day. God bless her.

One day, I was minding my own business and in the distance I saw two teenagers who were approaching others on the beach. It looked like they were trying to sell items from large ziplock bags. I had a flashback to the hot summer, during law school, that I spent in New York City. Whenever I went to a public park to cool off, I’d be surrounded by kids selling pills and joints from plastic bags. Was this happening on my beach? Nope. The kids were from a local church, and they were distributing little rubber bracelets that said: JESUS SAVES. I must have looked particularly hopeless, because they gave me two bracelets. I never got a JESUS SAVES bracelet from the street kids in New York City.

A mile into my walk, I hit The Pier. Yes, it’s a pier that juts out into the ocean. There’s an outdoor cafe/bar that features karaoke every afternoon during tourist season. I almost always stop to listen to a few tunes. The other day, a guy sitting near me went to the microphone and sang a Billy Joel song. That doesn’t happen much. Billy Joel isn’t very popular in the South. The guy did a fantastic job. As he returned to his seat, I complimented him on his outstanding performance. In the ensuing discussion, I learned that his name is Bernie and he’s from Oyster Bay on Long Island. That’s where Billy Joel was raised, and where he got into music. Bernie recently relocated to a neighborhood that’s about 5 miles from The Pier. He plans to start a little band and play local gigs. I’ll be on the lookout for Bernie.

I hope you feel like you’ve been to the beach. I need to stop now. It’s time for my walk. Adios. Vaya con dios. (At this time last year, I was hiking in Spain with Grandkid #1.)

[snackleggg]

Loud music and hard of hearing conspiracy

~~~

An Unidentified Flying Ship one shot

~~~

The music was blaring loudly but from the hallway at least it was a little muffled. Not entirely, Wes could still pick out the words to whatever awful pop song was playing if he focused but it was muted enough that he could at least ignore it.

How did I end up here?

A week ago everything had been fine, normal. Then everything went downhill.

It started when everyone was getting hyped about prom because it was only a week away. What was once an occasional subject that was mentioned once or twice in conversation quickly dominated the forefront of everyone's minds.

Of course with it came everyone talking about dates and Wes had rolled his eyes at the relationship drama that would proceed the school dance.

"What about you Wes?" His twin brother Kyle had asked.

Wes at the time was glaring at Fenton from across the cafeteria, totally zoned out from the world around him and whatever conversation was going on at the table but his brother's question had reeled him back in.

He blinked, turning his attention to Kyle who sat beside him "What about what?"

"Are you going with someone to prom?" One of the others at the table asked. Oh so the conversation had drifted there.

Before Wes could answer no, he was going to be too busy trying to gather evidence to expose Fenton someone else at the table went "I'm pretty sure he wants to ask Fenton to prom"

Wes' brain blue screened for a moment but when he saw everyone at the table nodding he was immediately snapped out of his stupor "wha- NO! Of course not! Why would you even think!?" Wes fumbled but then Kyle put his hand on Wes' shoulder.

"Bro, no offence but we all know you have a crush on Fenton and that you're just using your conspiracy theories as an excuse" Kyle said while looking at Wes sympathetically.

"I don't- I'm not using anything as an excuse, Fenton is Phantom! How can you guys not see it!?" Wes said, he was pointedly ignoring the heat he felt rush to his cheeks.

Another person at their table just shook their head in pity "Oh you poor thing, still in denial about your feelings. You know well still accept you no matter your sexuality right Wes?" They said and Wes heard his brother mumble something about how sad it was Wes thought ghosts were real.

At this point Wes was left completely speechless at the way all his friends seemed to agree with the outrageous notion that he had a crush on Danny Fenton. A crush.

Wes just stood up and walked away with his tray of half eaten slop. He could hear his friends sighing over how hopeless and oblivious he was.

It didn't stop there though.

Later that day at home Kyle, Wes and their older brother Easton were in the living room together quietly doing their own things. Kyle doing some homework, Easton texting someone and Wes looking over all the pictures he had gotten of Phantom after the fight earlier that day, unfortunately all were too blurry to make out anything Wes could actually use as evidence.

Then Kyle broke the comfortable silence.

"Hey Easton, you think you can give Wes some advice for asking his crush to prom?" Kyle asked, not even looking up from the algebra equation he was doing.

If Wes had been drinking anything he would've done a spit take, instead he settled for just staring at his brother in growing horror.

"Hmm? Crush? Oh you mean Jazz's younger brother?" Easton asked as he looked up from his phone. Wes already knew that Easton was good friends with Jazz Fenton but he became even more horrified by the fact that he had immediately connect the 'crush' Kyle had mentioned to Danny Fenton.

Kyle just nodded and Wes was still too shocked to say anything as he looked between his brothers.

"Well, you can never go wrong with chocolates and just straight up asking" Easton said with a shrug before looking back down at his phone.

Finally Wes regained he ability to speak "NO! I don't have a crush on Fenton!" Wes exclaimed.

"Wes you shouldn't be embarrassed to ask for help. I'm your brother, you can't really hide the fact that you have a huge crush on Fenton from me" Easton said simply and some part of Wes was thankful that neither of his brothers are currently looking at him because he knew his face was probably almost as red as his hair.

The larger part of Wes though was shocked and horrified by what his brother had just said.

Not for the first time that day Wes just got up and left without another word.

The rest of the week didn't fair any better.

Anytime Wes inforned his brothers or friends that he was going to tail Fenton to finally expose that he was Phantom they just rolled their eyes before going "Are you finally going to ask him to prom?" And everytime without fail Wes would turn bright red before stomping off in whatever direction Fenton had ran off to, muttering under his breath about how he did NOT have a crush on Fenton.

Finally, Friday he snapped.

"WHY!? Why does everyone think I have a crush on Fenton!? I thought it was obvious that I hate him!" Wes yelled after Kyle had off handedly asked if he had asked Fenton to prom yet.

"Duh, it's because you're pretty much infatuated with him" Kyle stated like it was obvious.

"I'm NOT infatuated!" Wes said.

"Then what do you have to say about all those pictures you take of him? Or following him and his friends around? The fact that you have an entire notebook filled with little facts about him that no one else would care to notice?" Kyle pointed out.

"That's all evidence! It's me trying to expose that he is really Phantom!" Wes argued.

"Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that but you can't live in denial forever bro. I mean why would you need to keep a catalogue of his interests or have so many photos of him just being normal and not at all 'ghostly' " Kyle said while making air quotes "that stuff can't be used as evidence so why still keep it?"

"Because! Be... because..." Wes stopped. Why did he keep all of those things? They weren't particularly helpful in exposing Fenton so why?

"It's cause you like-like him. Prom is tomorrow so I'm sorry to say your denial made you miss your chance to ask him out" Kyle said while patting Wes on the back.

Wes once again stood from the couch and walk away, up to his room and slammed the door behind him.

He spent the whole rest of the day just laying on his bed, staring at his ceiling. He went to prom the next day because some of his friends insisted he couldn't miss it.

For most of the night he had felt numb, especially as he watched people dance and talk and laugh together while he practically glued himself to the wall.

Then he spotted Fenton and Wes was hit again with his brothers words 'it's because you're pretty much infatuated with him'.

Wes hated to admit it but Fenton actually looked good. He wore a white dress shirt with a dark green bow tie and black slacks. It was simple but he pulled it off quite well and Wes couldn't help but notice how the flashing lights of the gym reflected off of Danny's ice blue eyes. How the constantly changing angle of the light highlighted his face a hundred different ways and none of them looked unflattering, at least not to Wes.

The music was loud, he could barely hear people standing right next to him so of course Wes couldn't hear what Danny and Sam were talking about on the other side of gym but Danny seemed to laugh at something she said and Wes couldn't tear his eyes away. He could almost imagine the laugh in his head, light and easy becoming a soft chuckle towards the end.

Wes looked down at the plastic cup full of punch he held in his hand. He could practically smell that someone had spiked it.

He soon found himself stumbling out of the gym because everything was so bright and loud and he needed more space between himself and Danny, definitely more than just a gymnasium's length at least until he figured out why the heck he felt his face flush when he thought about Danny's laugh.

So that's how Wes ended up sitting on the cool tile floors of the school's empty hallway. The lights were off so it was dark but the smallest bit of light poured in through the high up windows front the street lamps outside so it wasnt pitch black, even if it was hard to make out any details of his surroundings.

He didn't know how long he sat there staring at the swirling cup of liquid in his hands.

Eventually he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and he didn't need to lift his head to know it was Danny.

"Hey Wes" Danny's familiar voice echoed a little in the empty hallway, it wasn't the same kind of echo that his voice gained when he was Phantom Wes absentmindedly noted. He heard Danny sit down next to him on the cool tile floor.

"What brings you out here? Would've thought you'd be in the gym with your friends" Danny said.

Wes jostled the cup a little with his hand before gesturing to it "I think someone spiked the punch" Wes said instead of giving a straight answer to Danny's question.

"Oh? Good thing I was never a fan of punch. You good?" Wes could've sworn he heard actual concern leak into Danny's voice.

"Yeah, I only took a few sips" Wes shrugged and he leaned backwards against the metal lockers that lined the walls.

"What about you? Why're you out here?" Wes could now see Danny in his peripheral vision quite well. His legs were spread out straight infront of him unlike how Wes had his knees tucked against his chest. He also seemed to be leaning against the lockers behind them, looking relaxed against the cool metal.

"Technus decided to try and take over the DJ booth. I managed to stop him pretty quickly but I needed a breather so I came out here" Danny said, making a vague gesture with his hand.

"Hmm" Was Wes' only reply. The source of all his troubles, both old and new was sitting right next to him and they were holding a proper conversation like real people. No threats of exposing identities, no witty banter or mocking remarks.

To someone who didn't know any better it would almost seem like they were on civil terms with eachother.

What kind of terms are we on?

They weren't friends, not by a long shot. But enemies seemed too strong a word now that Wes thought about it. It wasn't like they were physically hurting eachother like Danny's other enemies. It was less literal battling and more metaphorical and figurative battling.

But after tonight would I even be able to do that anymore?

Wes couldn't just ignore the revelation forced upon him. He wasn't one for ignoring the obvious and when Kyle presented the evidence he had to admit his feelings were a tad obvious.

A comfortable silence was now between the two and Wes turned his head to look at Danny directly. His breath caught in his throat.

Danny was completely relaxed leaning against the lockers behind him. His hair was slightly disheveled, more so than usual. His eyes were closed and he had a faint smile on his face. The dim light shining in made his pale skin look like it was glowing, giving him an ethereal look. Wes was pretty sure that he could only glow in ghost form but that didn't stop the way the light reflected to make it seem otherwise. Wes also became hyper aware of the fact that they were sitting very close to eachother, if he leaned to the side a bit they would be brushing shoulders.

'Yeah, super obvious' Wes thought as he felt a blush find it's way onto his cheeks.

Wes managed to pry his eyes away and looked back down at his cup of spiked punch.

"Screw it" he mumbled before downing the whole thing.

"Hmm? What was that?" Danny asked as he peeked an eye open.

"Screw it" Wes said louder as he grabbed Danny by his collar and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Danny froze in place as Wes pulled back. The blush stood out against Danny's pale skin and Wes knew he was probably as red as tomato as he spoke "Wanna go dance? With me?" Wes asked cautiously.

Danny blinked before a doppy smile found it's way onto his face "Yeah, sure" he said.

Wes pushed himself up and held out a hand which Danny took without a moment's hesitation.

[house-of-slayterr]

One Sofia Falcone:

Tag: @howl-fantasies @flaysthings @keffirinne

Basil's POV:

Oliver was driving me insane. This Damian Dhark was far more crafty than I anticipated. It was clear no he couldn't have been working alone. It simply wasn't feasible. But who would help this idiot? He certainly wasn't smart enough for taking over Star City, let alone world domination. Thea was the only upside of this whole trip. She reminded me a lot of her older sister.

"B, come here." She called from across the room.

I made my way over to the computer she and Felicity were staked out at. I raised a brow as Thea childishly spun around in her chair.

"Did you find anything?"

"We have reason to believe Dhark has gone into hiding to try and throw us off. He's collection allies by any means necissary." Felicity spoke.

"Ok?"

"I also found evidence that someone very powerful may have been recently resurrected in Central City We believe he will try to contact this person." Thea added.

"Barry has defeated him twice now and each time he comes back he gets stronger."

"Who exactly am I meant to be looking for?"

"Not really a who, more of a what." Thea quipped.

"I am proficient in English, but you are making no sense."

"His name is Grodd. Gorilla Grodd." Felicity said. "He's a telekinetic super gorilla, he can mind control mass amount of the population at once. If Dhark gets his hands on him-"

Great, a mind-controlling gorilla. Just what I needed. I'd been gone for over a week now and Maggie was probably growing restless. Since we met, she grew anxious when we were apart. At first, I thought it odd how quickly she grew attached, foolish even, but it was sort of endearing. She did the same with Oliver.

"You want me to reach Grodd before he does?"

"We know he can mind control humans, we're not sure if this extends to Kryptonians or not."

"So I'm the safest bet, got it."

"You seem annoyed," Thea said it was cute how she was actually worried about me. "Anxious actually. Is there something you need to get back to?"

I sighed heavily.

"More like someone," I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just had a different plan for how this week would go... I wasn't expecting to have to come here, let aloe fly to Central city to try and chat with a mutant gorilla."

"You had a date didn't you?" Felicity joined in on the teasing.

One thing I learned quickly about her, she was a lovesick fool. She saw the best in everyone and denied herself her own right to romance. The more I hung out with these people, the more Magnolia began to make sense. She borrowed bits and pieces of their personalities to form her own. She pushed people away like Oliver, was overprotective like Diggle, was eager and impulsive like Thea and was smart and a hopeless romantic like Felicity. I'm sure if I had time to analyse the Lance's, Id spot pieces of her within them too.

It was weird how Maggie could consume your thoughts. Unintentionally so. I mean, less than 24 hours into Gotham, she caught the attention of Y/N, something that was rather hard to do. She convinced not only her but Victor and Oswald to protect her. To take her into their world and feel things they never dared to feel before. She turned these heartless criminals into people who now hesitated before pulling the trigger. Not by much, but it was something no one else had ever been able to do.

I grew obsessed with her before we ever met in person. Before I even stepped foot in Gotham. That's how strong of a pull she had. Yet, she was just a girl. An innocent girl who is repeatedly in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I thought about what it would be like if she stayed? Would she be out there with Green Arrow and Speedy fighting crime? Would she have her own bow? Or would Oliver bench her, too scared of having another loved one out there in the field?

"Hello, earth to the Kyrptionian," Thea said, snapping me out of my thought process.

I blushed slightly, embarrassed for zoning out.

"Oh, you totally did have a date!" Felicity mistook my blushing for something that it wasn't.

"If by date, you mean watching movies with my best friend, then yeah. I had a riveting date."

"Is this best friend a girl?" Thea asked.

"We don't have time for this."

"That sounds like deflection. What do you think Felicity, is he deflecting?"

"Definitely."

"I'm not interested in human dating rituals, ok!" I said, a little too loud.

The other boys in the room stopped talking and turned to me. Roy looked confused, Oliver was mildly disturbed and John had a stupid smirk on his face.

"That's what they all say, kid." John joked, more of his miserable dad humour.

"We're just friends, that's all we'll ever be, that's all I want us to be, ok? Now if you excuse me, I have a telekinetic Gorilla to integrate."

I stalked off toward the elevator. The hideout was underground so I couldn't just fly away. I hated how slow this stupid thing was. How does one even find a giant mutant Gorilla? Where would his species be hiding?

I had lots of time to think as I searched the city. Thinking about Magnolia in that way felt weird. I never imagined having a relationship with her, but now I couldn’t shake the thought. Actually, I couldn’t shake the thought of her dating anyone. It was odd, imagining her doing those things. Especially with that stupid cop she was obsessed with.

He wasn’t worthy of here, truly no one was. But not him, I mean he was a cop for fucks sake, in Gotham none the less. He was constantly in danger of getting shot, or being the victim of some low level villain scheme. Surly Y/N and Victor didn’t approve or Maggie’s little crush right? Besides, that idiot moved on to Dr Leslie the second he couldn’t jump Maggie’s Bones. I had half a mind to bash his skull into the concrete for that.

There was a suspicious looking building on the edge of town. If I were going to hide a telekinetic Gorilla, this would be the spot. I flew down and entered through a window in the back. The place was relatively empty, but here were clear signs that people had been here recently. The smell of chemicals was strong in the air. Scientists.

I could feel his heat from the back room. Felicity wasn’t kidding when she said he would be gigantic. Animals had very particular heat signatures compared to humans who were typically quite small compared to most predator species. I used my strength to crack the handle off the door and open. I opened the door slowly, trying not to startle the creature. But it seemed he was defensive anyway, frankly I didn’t blame him.

“I’m not here to hurt you Grodd.” I said.

“Not friend of Grodd” it spoke.

His voice was quite booming in my head, I’m sure anyone would be startled if they didn’t know what to expect.

“I’m not trying to be your enemy either.”

I held my hands up in defence. He allowed me to enter.

“The scientists, what have they done to you?” I asked.

I needed to know what we were working with, perhaps they were trying to enhance him.

“They brought me back, their mistress has them torture me. I cannot leave, they keep me too weak.”

My empathy wasn’t strong, at least not for humans. But being around Maggie must have softened me a little. I felt bad for this creature.

“Are you hurt?”

“Grodd only feels half pain.”

What an odd statement.

“Half?”

“My human, they feel what I feel. But human is tiny, surly they can’t handle it. I try to absorb most pain from scientist, but when weak I cannot control it.”

I took a step closer, looking over the shackles covering him.

“Your human?”

“Yes, small girl. She is very kind, is Grodd’s friend. The plant mistress does not like her.”

Plant mistress, this must be Ivy’s doing. I’d heard of her from the others, but I’ve yet to interact with her yet. She seemed quite devious, definitely a higher level villain. Her powers intrigued me greatly.

“What does this plant mistress want with you Grodd?”

“Control Grodd. Make him help destroy Gotham. But Tiny human lives in Gotham.”

“She wants to destroy Gotham? How so?”

“The plants deserve space, she says they are choked out by humans. She wishes for me to get the humans to leave. Those who refuse my mind control will be picked off.”

“By you I presume?”

“If Grodd strong, Grodd can kill. But Grodd does not mind, the humans are not kind to Grodd and friends. But Grodd does not want to hurt his human.”

It wasn’t completely unusual, Gorillas were pack creatures, territorial, I’d heard stories of Gorillas in captivity bonding with their zoo keeper. But this wasn’t a zoo, and it was clear he wasn’t the biggest fan of Ivy. I doubt he would have bonded with any of the scientists experimenting on him.

“Does this human have a name?”

I was now sitting across from him, trying to clearly show I wasn’t a threat. But I could obviously take him if I needed too, he didn’t look like he was in the best place.

“She’s a pretty flower.” He said.

It didn’t take long for it to click, my heart sank. Of course she was involved somehow. Y/N did mention she’d suspiciously disappeared recently and didn’t want to talk about it. But she came back looking fine.

“Magnolia?”

The gorilla nodded. Fuck.

“You said you’re connected somehow? That she fella your pain.”

He nodded more solemnly this time.

“She brought me back. I’m alive because of her. But when they shocked me to get me in line, she had a burn mark on her side. Gorilla skin is tough, human skin is not.” He said.

I winced. Why didn’t she say anything. I thought back to all the times we hung out and she’d shutter randomly, or wince and pretend nothing was wrong. I just ignored it, she was an odd woman. I never imagined she was being semi tortured. How does their link function from this far away?

“Do you know my human?”

“Yes, she’s a friend.” I stated. “I’ll talk to her, we’ll figure out how to get you out of here Grodd.”

He didn’t deserve this. Besides, having a mind controlling Gorilla on our side could be useful. It would get Oliver and co off my back. But Maggie and I would have to have a serious chat, I couldn’t hide this from Y/N. If she found out on her own we’d both be fucked!

“Friend of flower, friend of mine.”

***************************************************

Maggie’s POV:

I stumbled out of bed when I heard my cell ringing. I grumbled and tried to find were i discarded it the night before. Being grounded was the worst. I wasn’t allowed outside of the mansion until Oz decided to stop throwing his tantrum.

“Hello?” I asked.

“I’m going to fucking kill you!” The voice called.

I blinked awake shooting up in bed. It took me a second to recognise the voice.

“Basil?”

“A gorilla, really?” He asked.

Shit. I was completely fucked.

“I didn’t want to worry anyone, I’m handling it.”

“Really? How’s you getting poked and prodded like a science experiment, handling it?”

“How do you even know this?”

“HowI found him is not important!”

“You talked to him? How- how is he?”

“God, you really are too kind for your own good. He’s fine. Weak, but fine. He doesn’t want to go through with Ivy plan-“

“To destroy gotham and turn it into a giant terrarium, yeah I know.”

“And you weren’t going to say anything?”

“I was handling it Basil! I’m just trying to find Ivy’s weak spot ok. She’s going to go after the Wayne’s first. They have something to do with building Gotham and she’s angry about it. I’m gonna Basil, I can handle a little pain. Why were you even there?”

“Don’t turn this around on me?”

“Oh I’m turning, you don’t get to do this shit, I’m older than you, I’m supposed to be the protective one. Wait hold on, I’m getting another call.”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me Mag-“

Click.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose, I didn’t have time for Basil to be up my arse about this right now. I looked at the collar ID. Gordon.

“What do you want Jim?” I asked, sounding more bitter than I originally planned.

He paused for a moment, as if he was thinking over his answer.

“There was a break in at your shop, the owner is-“

I took a deep breath, zoning out the rest of his sentence. Of course this was happening right now.

“I’ll be right there.” I said before hanging up.

Oswald was out and about today, it wouldn’t be that hard to sneak out. But I’d have to deal with the consequences later. I threw my hair up in a ponytail, the feeling of it touching my skin putting me on edge. There was far too much going on on this quaint weekday afternoon. Dealing with Oz would be hard enough, but I didn’t need Y/N in a mood as well. I shot her a text.

Maggie: Went into work, something happened, I’ll explain later. Keep Oz busy?

I waited a moment for a response.

Mumzy: Whatever it is, don’t get yourself killed 😉

I rolled my eyes at her response. At least she sounded like she was in a good mood today. She must be torturing some poor bloke. I wondered if she knew Vic was out looking for his kid. I’m sure they’re giving him the wild goose chase of his life. They don’t seem the type to want to be found outside of their own terms.

I sighed as I rounded the corner or the shop. The front window was completely busted out. I scurried past the other cops outside, pushing open the now useless, shattered front door.

“Jim.” I stated flatly.

He pulled me in for a hug, which caught me off guard. I wasn’t aware we were back on hugging terms. He pulled away.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“I just want to know what happened. The old man doesn’t have any family left. I’ll have to figure out what to do with his shit. And I’m not really making enough for a proper funeral, but I’m sure Oz can think of something.” I sighed heavily.

I Saw his face frown in the way it does when he’s disappointed. Which really wasn’t the judgment I need right now. Perhaps he expected me to be sobbing. Of course I grew close with my Boss, but tears just didn’t feel right, right now.

“Don’t give me that look Gordon, it’s been a long few weeks for me, and I’m going to get my arse beat for being here right now. So can we wrap this up?”

This only made his face scrunch more.

“We’re not exactly sure what went down. But he was poisoned by something. We have Luscious trying to figure it out. We’ll give up his body when we’re done with the investigation.”

I stiffened. I knew exactly who did it. But why? I hadn’t pissed her off recently. I’ve done everything she asked of me. The only thing that happened was Basil finding Grodd- shit. How did she find out about that so quickly? Jim seemed to notice this, and placed a hand on my back. This sent shivers up my spine. Damn my body for still reacting to him in this way.

“Thanks.” I cleared my throat.

“Did they take anything? Or was this just a murder?” I asked.

“That’s what we called you for. We didn’t notice anything obvious, but we don’t have an inventory list.”

“Right.”

I broke away from him, avoiding looking at the body off my boss on the floor. I couldn’t see anything out of order up front, but I knew if she broke in she came for something in particular. I made my way to the back room, and as expected, my prized flower was missing. The one she needed to execute her plan on Gotham. I didn’t think she was dumb enough to go through with it.

Fuck it, she already hated me, if I told Jim about her foolish plan, maybe he’s dumb enough to figure out how to stop it. He’s got the same hero complex of my brother, except he’s even more reckless. I came back to the front and Harvey was now there talking with Jim. I gave him a small wave, and he pointed at me causing Jim to turn.

“So?” Jim asked.

“How much time do you have?” I asked.

Both men frowned.

“I know who did it, and I know why. But even by Gotham standards it’s going to sound stupid-“

My watch buzzed, getting a text from Y/N telling me to get back.

“I’ll fill you in down at the station later yeah? I’ve got to get back.”

Jim placed a hand on my shoulder.

“You’re not in danger are you?”

I shrugged. Of course I was.

“Not if I get back to Y/N. Nobody would be dumb enough to attack me when I’m with her. I’ll be fine Jim, but I’ve really got to go. Call me when you have some time to chat.”

I brushed his hands off my shoulder and walked past him, giving Harvey a quick hug.

“Good to see you Harv.”

With that I walked back to the mansion, checking my surroundings every couple of seconds. Y/N met me half way, grabbing my arm and pulling me into an ally.

“Really?” I asked.

“I got a call from Basil.”

“Of fucking course you did! Look whatever he told you, he doesn’t know enough. Not like he thinks he does. And I just found out my boss was brutally murdered, and Gotham is in danger. So can we not do this right now? You can mother hen my ear off later, but right now I don’t need this.”

Much to my surprise, she pulled me into a hug. What the hell was with all the touchy feely bullshit today. Last time I got this many hugs was when I went back home and met my brother crush, Felicity. Normally I shared her optimistic mindset, but things weren’t feeling very happy go lucky as of late. The realism of Gotham was getting to me.

I pulled away.

“What was that?”

“Clearly there’s too much on your plate. And I failed as a person who cares about you if you felt you couldn’t come to me with any of it.”

I placed my hand on her forehead and, as expected she grabbed it.

“What was that?” She mocked.

“I don’t know, just making sure you didn’t like hot your head or get brainwashed or something.”

She rolled her eyes.

“You tell anyone about this, I’ll slit your throat in your sleep.”

“And there she is, welcome back Y/N.” I joked.

“I tried to distract Oz, but apparently he’s throwing another tantrum right now, so we should get back. As much as I’d love to just stay away.”

I nodded. Tantrum was right. I dodged a chair being thrown as I walked into the room. Y/N chuckled under her breath and I sent her a glare. All of the staff looked terrified, and there was two bodies on the floor, bleeding out. I tsked.

“Ozzy!” I tried.

No response.

“Oswald!”

Still nothing.

“OSWALD CHESTERFEILD COPPLEPOT!” I roared.

He finally halted in his tirade and turned to look at me. It was clear he wanted to yell until he realised it was just me.

“Maggie, thank god you’re here.”

I stepped back.

“I swear to god if one more person hugs me today, I’m going to eat my own hands.”

He paused his advance.

“What’s wrong?” I sighed.

“What’s wrong???? WHATS WRONG? If you were here you would know already!”

“I was called away by Gordon, I couldn’t make an excuse.”

It was clear he didn’t expect that answer.

“Oh, oh of course! So that’s how she played it, getting the boyfriend to call you away.”

I raised a brow and looked back at Y/N, who just shrugged. Seems she didn’t keep up on Oswald’s paranoia either.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I corrected.

“Oh I know, cause he’s hers.”

This made my ears redden slightly. I wasn’t aware he was dating again after Leslie left him for that Mario chap.

“And now she’s got Edward.”

This set me off.

“What? Who?” I asked.

“Falcone. Sofia Falcone!” He screamed.

I growled under my breath. The more I learned about this damned family, the more I hated them. Y/N spoke up.

“Why didn’t you send Victor to handle it?” She asked.

“Because he’s nowhere to be found. I’m sure she sucked him in with some loyalty bullshit.”

Y/N stiffened. It wouldn’t be the first time he left her for a Falcone. But I couldn’t have them fighting again, not right now when everything else was going wrong.

“Calm yourself Oz, he’s not with Sofia.”

“And how would you know?” He barked.

“Because-“

“Because what?” It was Y/N turn to speak up.

“Because he’s searching for his kid, alright?”

She froze. Oswald looked shocked, seemingly knowing nothing about the fact that his second favorite assassin was a father. Y/N didn’t speak further, but gave me a look that said we’d discuss it later. I started pacing.

“Where is she?” I asked.

Oswald gave me a weird look.

“Miss Falcone? I just want to have a little chat.” I said coldly.

“No need, I’m sending Y/N to talk care of it. Nobody gets to torture Edward besides me.” He declared.

I rolled my eyes at his possessiveness. I’m kinda glad Oz never had a crush on me, if this is how he acts toward people he likes that way.

“Y/N gon a want to find Victor.” I spoke on her behalf.

Oswald began pacing, trying to make a choice. He loved Y/N, he really did. She was incredibly loyal to him, and the only friend he had besides me.

“And Where thé boy?” He asked.

“Basil is out of town on business.” I spoke. “I’ll get Edward back.”

“Give the kid a chance Oswald. I’ve got to go find my husband.”

Oswald gave her a nod, dismissing her. It was nice to know that Y/N trusted me.

“If you even think for a second that she’s going to hurt you, you get out of there, ok? I can’t go, she’d shoot me in sight, I’ve already pissed her off enough.”

Seems like Sofia had been around for a while and nobody decided to mention her to me until now. But to be fair, I was doing the same to them about Ivy and Grodd.

“Of course Oswald.”

I gave him a hug this time. It was different if I initiated. And I knew he needed the comfort.

“Be back in a bit.” I smiled at him.

I made my way to my room first, stoping to grab the multitude of weapons Y/N and Victor had gifted to me over time. I hid them in my person. Sofia would never suspect someone like me. I made my way to the old Falcone Mansion and knocked on the door. A tall, beautiful woman answered. No wonder Jim liked her. She was gorgeous.

I must have been staring, because she cleared her throat. I shook my head.

“Hi, Sofia right? I was a friend of your fathers, I heard about his passing and I just wanted to give my condolences.”

I winced at my lazy excuse, but she seemed to buy it, opening the door further. She walked me to the kitchen where I set down the flowers I had picked up for her along the way. My back up plan. It was easy to fake nice with her, a skill Moira had taught me to interact with the other rich folk that attended her gala’s. But she was called away by a henchmen to handle something.

Of course I followed, knowing that something was Edward. But what I was shocked to find was Jim. Sofia pulled him in for a long and loving kiss and I had to stop myself from gagging. I was going to rip out her throat with my fucking teeth. Jim didn’t seem to mind the man in green bleeding in the chair before him. Which seemed off. Either she’s great at black mail, or she’s an actual witch.

This being Gotham, I wouldn’t put it past her. I snuck into the room before the door closed and hid in the shadows. Besides Jim, there were two guards and one guy who seemed to be doing the dirty work. I was surprised she’d yet to gag Edward, I mean I love him, but god was he talking a lot of shit for someone In his position.

“Sofia, you should let him go.” Jim spoke.

So at least my brain wash theory was out the window. He still had some sort of reason.

“And why my love? People like him don’t deserve to run Gotham. Nobody will miss him.”

My love, I was going to puke. God I hated this woman. When one of the guards walked off to get a new tool for the executioner, I took him down easily. My brothers training came in handy. I smashed his face into the door frame and quietly choked him out, laying his body gently on the floor as to not make too much noise. Hopefully they would just assume he tripped.

When the next guard got suspicious I heard Sofia speak up again.

“Go check on my guest, I’m sure she’s growing restless without my company.”

I rolled my eyes. People were blessed without this Sucubi’s company. As he left the room, I quickly locked the door behind him, temporarily eliminating the threat. Now it was just me, Sofia and the Executioner. I could count on Jim to set Edward Free. He may be a cop, but he had a soft spot for his ex scientist.

I cringed when I heard Edward scream as she continued to facilitate his torture. Jim turned around in disgust. I snuck up behind Sofia and held a blade to her neck.

“Pro tip Miss Falcone, don’t let strangers into your house.” I said.

She simply chuckled.

“Bringing a measly knife in a room that has a trained killer, wasn’t the best move.” She said confidently.

“Cute you think I only brought a knife.”

“Maggie, what are you doing?”

“You stay out of this!” Sofia and I said in sync.

“Let Ed go, and I promise I won’t hurt you too badly.”

She quickly threw her head back, breaking my nose. I stumbled slightly, dropping my hold on her. She ran to Jim as her “savoir” and started begging him to shoot me with his gun. I pushed my nose back in place, spitting out the blood that drained into my mouth.

“You fucking bitch!” I spat.

The executioner came at me with a power drill reving. How stupid, using such a short range weapon. I bet he thought because he was twice my size this would be easy. I ran and slid underneath his legs, regaining my footing and throwing my dagger. It plunged into his spinal cord, paralysing him on the spot, and he dropped to the floor.

“What the hell Magnolia!” Jim scolded.

“Oswald’s going to burn this town to the ground if I don’t get Ed back to him. Everyone else is a bit busy. Besides, you and I still need to chat after this.”

“Damn it Jim!” Sofia exclaimed.

Clearly jealous of the chemistry we had. I had more history with him, even like this he’d choose me over her. And she was beginning to understand that. She stole his gun from his side and aimed it at me.

“Sofia, don’t.”

“She’s in my way Gordon.” She said.

As she was about to pull the trigger, Jim jumped in front of me, taking the shot to the abdomen. My eyes widened. Oh, this bitch is so dead. She made a break for the door and ran away. Clearly she wasn’t one to get her hands dirty often. Hence the staff. I ran to Jim.

“You’re an idiot.” I judged.

“Not that I don’t want to witness this lovers quarrel that’s about to happen, but I’m still tied up over here.” Edward snipped.

Clearly Riddler was calling the shots right now. I sighed, walking over to him and cutting him free. I ripped off a part of his sleeve and jammed it in his chest.

“Keep him alive for me will you?” I asked.

But it was worded in a way that it wasn’t a question.

“I like this side of you.” He complimented.

“Be lucky you’re not on the end of my anger right now. But he dies, not even Oswald can stop me from ripping off your hands.”

“Don’t go after her Maggie, it’s not safe. She’s a Falcone.” Jim said, pain in his tone.

“Yeah, and you were dumb enough to get in bed with her. Never jump in front of a bullet for me again.”

I was done playing innocent little girl at this point. I didn’t really care if Jim knew how much Gotham had changed me. There was no time to be playing double, all my energy had to go into keeping my friends safe. I ran into the hall, trying to track her. Another trait my brother had taught me. It wasn’t hard to find her when the sound of heavy boots from the second guard came charging at me.

He tackled me to the floor, but I thought quickly and knees him in the balls, then smashed my face into his. He rolled off me in pain. I brought my boot down on his neck. Applying pressure slowly.

“Where is she?”

No answer. More pressure.

“I’ll let you walk out of her with all your limbs if you tell me. She can’t be paying you that much.”

Still no answer.

“Shame.”

I kicked him in the skull, knocking him out. He was fairly innocent in all this, no sense in killing him just because he was loyal. I looked up when there was suddenly a knife lodged in his forehead.

“Kid?” I asked.

She gave me a smile.

“Y/N sent is your way, said you might need help. My father is tracking down the rogue Falcone.”

I smiled at her. I took the knife out of the guards head and handed it back to her.

“Thanks”

“You wanna help Vic skin this bitch?” I asked.

She smiled back at me.

“I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“She shot my ex.”

“Most girl would be happy about that.”

“Yeah, well this girl is still in love with him for some reason.”

“I’ll cut her hair off first!” She exclaimed, running down the hall presumably where Victor was tracking Sofia down.

We found the cornered, guns pointed at each other. I knew Vic wasn’t dumb enough to make the same mistake twice. He wouldn’t betray Y/N, not again.

“There’s no where to run.” I said.

Victor turned to me with a goofy smile face. I haven’t seen him this happy in a while.

“My father would be disappointed in you Victor.”

I laughed.

“Oh don’t pull that shit! Your father would have been disappointed in you, running his empire into the ground you dumb cunt! He sent you away, at least he actually liked hanging around Victor.”

Victor handing me his gun, unclipping another from his belt. I shot her in the foot.

“That was for fucking my boyfriend!”

I shot her other foot.

“And that was for shooting him!”

Her screams felt like music to my ears. No wonder Victor and Y/N loved this shit, it was exhilarating. I took a step closer to her.

“I’d take the time to torture you, but Gotham’s got bigger problems for me to attempt to. And I’m not a monologging fucker.”

I shot her point blank between the eyes. I turned around handing Victor his gun back.

“Get out of here, I’m sure Jim’s called in back up. Your wife’s not gonna be happy if she has to break you out of jail again.”

Van gave me a fist pump as they walked away. I ran back to the room where Jim and Edward were. Ed saw the blood on my face and smirked.

“He’s fading but the ambulance is on the way. Guess I get to keep my hands.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Get out of here before the cops get here idiot. And go see Oz, he’s worried sick about you!”

Edward tipped his Bolo hat to me and escaped. I replaced the pressure on Jim’s bullet wound.

“Did you kill her?”

“She wasn’t gonna stop Jim… and she shot you.”

He glared up at me.

“Oh don’t give me that look, you’ve killed people before. Now hush, save your energy.”

I waited for the paramedics to get there. I embellished the story to Harvey and made sure to ramp up the tears. It would make the self defence angle work better. I sent Y/N a quick text to let Oz know I’d be at the hospital with Jim. He’d probably be too busy with Edward to notice I’m still gone anyways.

I then sent Basil a text to meet me there. I might as well kill two birds with one stone. I’d tell them both Ivy’s plan for Gotham. I was ready to stop being her pushover. I was ready to grow up, and stop hiding behind this innocent little facade. Gotham kept taking more and more of me, and maybe it’s time I started taking things back for myself.

An: ahhh, this chapter was hella fun to write. Sorry if writing isn’t as quick recently. I’ve been feeling a little more fatigued than usual. So the brain fog is real. It just takes a few more days to get things out is all. Now I have to figure out what to do for the next chapter 👀 let me know if y’all have any ideas!

[darkacademicfrom2021]

Burn for me

Pairing: Loki x fem!reader.

Word count: 4.3 K

Request by @joscelyn02: I’m loving your Loki and Bucky works at the moment! Maybe a Loki x Fem! Reader. Enemies to lovers and she just joined the avengers but has powers/magic and Loki helps her to learn control.... something like that ☺️

N/A: thank you! I hope you like this. Sorry about the delay, though. You've sent this long ago. Besides, I love this because it's totally taking me out of my comfort zone lmao.

(Taglist: @lucywrites02, @louieboo87, @jesuswasnotawhiteman, @geekwritersworld, @whatafuckingdumbass, @mysticunicorn7, @toe-vind-ek-jou, @t00-pi, @selfship-mishaps, @sallymagnoliaposts, @deadgirl88)

Breathe in… breathe out. You’ve got this. It’s all fine. You have it all under control. You just need to work harder for it. Breathe in… breathe out. Clench your fists. Unclench your jaw. Tension the arms. Untension the shoulders. Breathe in…

“It doesn’t look like she’s going very far with that”, you hear Tony Stark’s words through the thick glass. Your fishbowl, as Tony likes to call it, retais fine all of your failings, but not very well the discouraging words from the team.

“Give her time”, retorted Strange.

“It’s been three weeks since she’s arrived. Do you know how long it will take until she finally…”.

“No, Mr. Stark, I do not know how long, because it’s not actually my kind of “magic”, as you call it. You know, it would be easier if…”.

“Do you think I can just get a magician out of nowhere anytime I want? You’re my only hope”.

“Well, you look at this like it’s a hopeless situation”.

“It might, look at her”.

“Excuse me”, you call in between gasps. “I’m trying to focus here”.

Whatever they are saying now does not matter, for you are completely submerged into your own pulsating veins, the blood flowing through you should boil anytime now. Your face should burn your own skin and your hair should be lit up in flames. Anytime now.

Any…

Nothing. Nothing happens, again.

That same night, as you make your way to the compound’s kitchen, you stumble across a tall body. So tall, you have to look up to apologize. And then, once you look up, he smirks.

“You must be the clumsy wanna-be magician I’ve been called in for, yes?”.

“Excuse me?”. Did he just call you clumsy wanna-be magician?

“Let me introduce myself”, he starts, walking past you and entering the kitchen. You have no remedy but to follow. He starts making himself a cup of tea. Doesn’t offer you one, rude. You don’t like tea, but rude nonetheless. “You have fire powers, and Strange can’t figure out how on the Norns make you find your way through it, right?”.

“That’s not an introduction to yourself”. He raises his eyebrows.

“I’m the one figuring you out”.

“Figuring me out? Don’t you mean my powers?”.

“No, no, dear. I mean you”, he raised a finger and pointed at the tea. “Tea?”.

“Wasn’t it for you?”.

“I don’t drink tea. Drink this”, he orders, and you furrow your brows. What is he playing? “It’s not poisoned or anything, you watched me prepare it. It’s just tea”.

“I don’t believe you”.

“What can I offer for you to believe me?”.

He seems to be amused at your reactions. You feel played.

“I don’t easily trust any man I find in the middle of the night, you know”, you say.

“Good for you, I presume. Your fire powers… they are very powerful, you know?”.

“How would I know? I’ve never managed to use them”.

“They are something not even Gods should mess with”.

“Why are you telling me this?”.

“Your powers, dear, are in the wrong hands”, he says, with a deeper voice.

“And how exactly do you plan on…?”, but he raises his hand, shushing you. His figure looks so dominant in comparison to yours, even the slight movement makes you stutter.

“I’m taking it, if you don’t mind”.

“You… what? No, stop this. You’re being so creepy, I’m leaving”.

“Where are you leaving, exactly?”.

“I'm calling Stark. How do I know you’re not an intruder?”.

He grins widely, evilness shining in his eyes.

Oh. You were in trouble.

“Precisely”.

He snaps his fingers and every door and window you would have escaped from closes and locks. Your heart skipped a beat. You reach for your dagger but it isn’t there. You try to look for some kitchen knives, but the drawers are empty.

“What do you want?”, you ask with your heart in your throat. He keeps that smirk on his face and starts walking painfully slow to you. You move away, until a wall immobilizes you. He keeps getting closer and closer, until you close your eyes and wait for him to attack you. There is no other way you could escape.

“Why do you close your eyes?”, he whispers. You feel his breath in your face. It’s… cold? “Won’t you fight?”.

You open your eyes and find him mere inches away from you. Cold. He seems different now. The lights are off, but you can certainly distinguish a pale blue tone in his skin. Looking up to meet his eyes, you gasp. Bright red. You’ve never seen eyes like those before.

“What are you up to?”, you whisper with a tremble in your voice. “How do you plan to take the fire away from me?”.

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he slowly raises a hand up to your face and lays it in the wall, by your side. You’re cornered now, but you were cornered before even without his arms blocking the way out. You feel tiny, intimidated, terrified. Your legs shake.

“This would be a frostbite”, he says, as he reaches to your neck with his fingers. The hand lingers in there, hovering before touching you. Your breath hitches, and you shut your eyes tightly once again. “If I were to touch you, you’d basically combust. It’s so, so cold, not even Asgardians can resist it”.

“Don’t, please”, you beg in a whisper.

“If I were to touch you, your neck would turn grey as ash”.

“Stop”. Fear starts eating your brain.

“After that, it’d fall down piece by piece. You’d turn to a fragile stone. So, so fragile… you’d…”, he inhales deeply, nearly against the skin of your face. You couldn’t see his face, for you had your eyes as closed as you could. “You’d crumble”.

“Stop it”. Fear consumes most of you, now. But there’s something else. Impotence. You could be fighting your way out. How?

“It’s been a while since I’ve done this”.

“Stop. It”. Dread. Fright. Anger. He’s mocking you. He’s about to murder you, and nobody’s there to help you. Not even you. Not even your useless powers, or at least the promise of them.

“You’re so pretty, I’d like to keep you as a stone silhouette. Like a marble sculpture”.

“Shut up. Stop. Stop this”.

“Shame you’ll break to pieces”. His movements had been so slow until then, that the sharp movement of his other hand stumping against the wall makes you cry out a whine.

“Stop”, you say once again, and you’re sure your face is red. Bright red, out of anger and fear. Burning, you shout again “STOP”, but it is too late. His cold fingers wrap around your neck.

Nobody’s helping you now. It’s too late. He already touched you.

You thought it would be faster. You thought it would feel much colder. It didn’t. Instead, it felt like a gloveless hand in the winter.

As if you could only help it now, you punch his chest as strongly as you manage to. Which, apparently, was enough. He backed down from the impact until hitting violently against the other wall. Meters away. Your fist is burning; you’ve probably gotten his frostbite by punching him.

You are in the Avengers compound. If you were to die, you’d avenge yourself. It doesn’t matter how long it would take for you to shatter to pieces like a mug, or to dissolve like sugar. If he wanted to take you out, you’d make his life a living hell.

Your eyes are still closed, but your hands burn. Burn so, so warmly, so heavily, that you realize maybe it isn’t the frostbite. It’s not a cold burn. It’s…

Your eyes open. In between your fingers, flames dance around like silk. They feel soft, delicate. You imagine them going all the way around your arms and legs, and they obey. Just as you dreamed it would happen.

Around you, the residual traces of smoke are still surviving, hanging in the air. A route, a path of smoke and sparks all the way from your wall to the man’s. He’s still against the wall. It cracked with his impact, and, with wide open eyes and a smile from ear to ear, he touched the back of his scalp.

“It’s not bleeding”, he says in awe. “It cauterized”.

“I still can damage you, before I die”, you alert him, opening your hands and pointing your palms at him. Just like Iron Man would do, you thought, maybe it’d work this way. You were still to learn how to use it, but you had no more time in your hands. Only fire.

So you follow your instinct.

“Fight me”, he challenges.

You clench your fists and throw a punch to the air, just like before. Nothing. Wrong movement. The fire was still around you, so you could still try. He gets closer, and you grow increasingly nervous. Oh God. What if it didn’t work anymore?

He’s so close to you now, the fright immobilizes you again. Everything starts to become dizzier and blurrier, and you feel light. He’s almost about to touch your hands. He’s not blue anymore, after walking through a curtain of green lights.

“It’s alright”, he says in a calm voice. So calm, you realize it was all an act. But what for? He reaches your hands, and they’re humanly cold. Normal. Just like the ones in your neck from before. They didn’t hurt. They held you. “You’ve used too much of your strength all at once, you’ll faint now”, he alerted. Last thing you heard from him before passing out was: “you’re fine. I’m carrying you to your chambers and we meet properly tomorrow, once you’re well rested”.

“This is Loki. He’s your new magic teacher”, introduces Tony.

“Yes, we’ve met”, you say, cup of coffee boiling in your hands. “He attacked me last night”.

“For the record, I didn’t actually harm you”, he raises an eyebrow. Tony looks at both of you perplexed.

“You… what?”.

“He frostbited the hell out of me”, you explain, as you realize you’re changing the temperature of the coffee again, and leave it on the table. The casual magic you cast without noticing is the only reason you realized you had them in the first place. As a kid, you couldn’t play with plastic dolls. They melted in your hands.

“If I actually were to touch you in my Jötun form, you’d be dead within seconds”.

“What happened?”.

“I’m a shapeshifter. An illusioner”.

“Why on Earth would you do that to me? I thought I was dying”.

“Did you or did you not get all flamey and aggressive?”.

“You… you actually got your powers out?”, intervenes Tony. You shake your head.

“I didn’t control it. It just happened”.

“That’s the first step. I’ll teach you how to control it”, says Loki, so sure of himself. You want to punch him again, and this time with your bare hands would feel sufficient.

“Look, Mr. Stark, I appreciate you trying to get a better professor than Dr. Strange-- no offence”.

“Non taken”, answers Steven from the other side of the room.

“But”, you continue, “this man is a maniac. He said he wanted to take my powers away. You can see the recordings. He…”.

“I saw them, and I approved it before he did that”, explains Tony. You cock an eyebrow, bewildered. “He’s not hurting you, don’t worry. His methods are odd, but he’s like a thousand years older than all of us, and he knows what he’s doing”.

You sighed, resigned at the idea of Loki being your teacher. There wasn't any other way, was there? If Tony trusted him…

“Thank you, Stark”, says Loki, “and, for the record, I’m not a man”.

“What are your pronouns?”.

“No, I meant, I’m a God”.

“Oh”.

“We’re starting today, Lavagirl. Finish your breakfast, you might need it”, he says, and closes the door behind him. You roll your eyes at the idiotic nickname.

“Oh, come on. Who’s been teaching him pop culture references?”, asks Tony, glancing at Peter.

“Five”.

He counts, and your eyes close once again. Your breath is unstable. You try to stabilize it before he notices. He does, but you keep trying anyway.

“Four”.

His voice is raspy, almost a groan by itself; warm and rough like beach sand. You could even feel its texture in the back of your feet. No, focus.

“Three”.

His hands position themselves in the back of yours. He’s behind you. Not invading your personal space; you don’t have that anymore. There’s a fire creature living inside of you, and you’re never alone.

“Two… your hands are still cold”.

“My hands are never cold”.

“Focus. Imagine the flames around your fingers, just like a week ago”, he says, and his words don’t need to travel to your ears, for his mouth is already there. His lips accidentally graze your ear as he speaks, and you don’t feel fire, but something very similar. “Two”.

You inhale deeply and exhale. Your hands are warming up.

“One”.

He stays silent for a while, letting you concentrate. Not a muscle moves his body. His breathing is so soft it’s almost imperceptible. Your hands are getting hotter, and you feel your veins shine with fire, just like a week ago. Focus.

Nothing happens, again, and you open your eyes, annoyed. He sighs.

“I can’t do it when I’m calm”, you complain. He looks at you up and down.

“That’s an odd choice of words”.

“Why?”.

“I thought you could only do it when you’re angry. Like Dr. Banner”.

“I… don’t know, actually. I guess”.

He nodded. “So you can do it when you’re not calm. Not necessarily angry”, he states, and you nod. “For example, if you were to think about something very happy, or very sad, you’d be feeling, as you said, not calm”, he steps aside, and looks around, pensative.

“You mean, I should control it by controlling my emotions instead of the magic itself?”.

“Yes. It is difficult and unnecessary to get pissed every time you need fire. But, any other emotion, should be fine. You can even extend to feel more deeply whatever you’re feeling at the moment”.

“That’s… genius, actually”.

“Just a theory. Let’s try it”, he says, and sits on the floor, waiting for you to sit in front of him. You do, and he grabs your hands, back of them against your knees and the palms facing the roof. “Don’t relax. What were you thinking before, when I was counting?”.

“Hm?”, you ask with your eyes already closed, raising your eyebrows.

“Your hands started warming up. You were starting to feel something intense. What was it?”.

“I…”, you try to recall. Oh God. Your face goes red, and you laugh nervously.

“What was it?”.

“I… I don’t know, I was sad I guess”.

“You were… sad, you guess?”, he furrows his brows and tilts his head. “Come on, don’t be embarrassed. I’m not here to judge you”.

“I was anxious”, you say, recalling some other intense emotion that might be wandering around your head. “I have an exam pretty soon and I have only time for this, so I’m anxious about doing poorly”.

“Alright”, he chuckles. “I would say you’ll do fine, but it’s not the point. Close your eyes”.

You do as he says.

“You’ll fail. The exams are falling on your shoulders”, he starts narrating, trying to get you increasingly anxious. Funny thing, you were calm. His tone of voice sounded like he was narrating a tale. “You’re not studying enough. You will fai… alright, this is not working”.

“Nope”.

“Let me think about it for today and we meet tomorrow, same time as every day. Yes?”.

“See you”.

“Today I have something special for you”, he says on the elevator. “I’ve been doing extended research on you”.

“Yes?”, you ask, bemused. He really gives his best on this. He’s possibly the best teacher you’ve had in your entire life. He tries to understand your powers, and he’s almost as clueless about them as you, but he makes it a learning experience anyways. Maybe not even related to your magic, specifically. Emotions. He has accumulated so much knowledge over the centuries, he isn’t going to actually teach you everything. But just a spill of his thoughts is enough for you to learn a lifetime. “You seem to focus so much on me, rather than the magic part. Is that how it’s actually done?”.

“Magic is not magic without you, you see”, he explains. You just noticed he is holding a wooden box. “In order to figure out your powers, I need to figure out your reactions to certain stimuli. When I thought your powers were fear-based, I tried to attack you. Then I saw you did it once you started getting angry”.

“So, you went in there to see how many buttons to push?”.

“To see which ones, and how to push them”, he continues. “Now we have the theory it can be any button, as long as it’s intense. How intense, I’m not sure”.

The elevator opens and you realize where you are. The library. A very silent and uninhabited place; maybe even the least frequented of the compound. Loki’s gaze rests on the wooden box as he places it on the carpeted floor. You sit in front of him, just like last time.

“Today’s button will be nostalgy”, he says, opening the box.

“Is this…?”, you say as you reach for the photographs on the box. There was some old jewelry too, and a very special heart locket with a picture of your grandparents.

“I apologize in advance, this might make you sad. I went to your family’s town looking for some history on you, and this seemed perfect”.

“It’s… it’s okay. This is very… actually, I’ve been meaning to go get these things for a long time now”.

“You pushed them back, because of…”.

“Because I was afraid of getting upset and accidentally burning them”.

“That’s why I’m here holding them too. I put a spell on them. It doesn’t matter how much you burn, they won’t ruin”, he says, and a tear starts forming in the corner of your eye. “If you feel sad, grow on that feeling. Nostalgic, feed it. Happy, push it. Whatever comes, will come well”, he grabs one of your hands and looks you directly in the eyes, emphasizing his words. “Don’t push it back. Don’t be afraid of burning”.

“You’re… amazing. Thank you”, you say, letting the first warm tear roll down your cheek. You start going through the pictures, and Loki’s hand rests on the back of yours, caressing it gently. The tips of your hair are flame-shaped, and your hands are warm, but not hot. Your powers look now like a chimney, a fireplace, a bonfire where kids play with sticks and bake marshmallows. Not like an explosion. Not damaging, not a threat.

He reaches for a strand of your lit up hair and tests how hot it is. It’s not. It doesn’t burn him. It’s like passing a hand around a cloud of smoke.

“Barton, do me a favor”, he calls in a whisper, trying to not lit off your flames. You haven’t realized he was in there too. You hate that guy. “Touch her hair”.

“I’ll get burned, Loki, are you…”.

“Shh, touch it. Look, I’m touching it, it’s not burning me”.

Clint sighs and reaches for a strand of your hair. He quickly pulls back with a scream and his hand in a bright pink. Loki smiles widely.

“What the fuck, man?”.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”, you start saying as the flames dissipate, but Loki interrupts you.

“Thank you, Barton. This is golden information”.

“What is it?”, you ask.

“Emotions”, he mutters. “Pure and raw emotions. Dear, oh, dear... You’re interesting”.

It’s been almost a month, and you are now able to control your powers once they’re there. You’re not able to summon them casually and control those, on the other hand. It will be long until Tony Stark allows you to go on a mission with your fire and nothing more.

“Wonderful day, is it not?”, asks Loki from the other side of the room. Your heart skips a beat. He’s grown on you increasingly ever since he started teaching you. Everytime his hands would hold yours to help you find a balance, everytime his eyes would fix on you while you try to concentrate, every little detail he does, he does it caringly. And you are a hopeless romantic, imagining hundreds of scenarios where that careness would turn into something more.

“Yeah, it’s…”, you answer distractedly. Looking out of the window, you realize “wait, it’s raining”.

“Cold, shiverly thunderstorm”, he says with a grin. “Very cold. So cold, I even have to make an extra effort to keep my Jötun form disguised”.

“I thought you hated the thunderstorms. And your Jötun form”, you say. He summons a long coat of about your size and hands it to you.

“Oh, yes. It is a wonderful climate…”, he stretches his hand as if asking you to dance. You take it, laughing. “To make it hot”, his voice turns deeper and raspier. You blush, and in a stutter, ask;

“What do you mean?”.

“Today’s lesson is under the rain. Put on the coat, I don’t want you to catch a cold”.

You follow him without asking any further, and he stands in the middle of the Stark Tower’s roof, looking at the sky.

“I hope we don’t get killed by a lightning blast”.

“I talked to Thor, we should be fine”.

“Oh, right”, you say, and get ready for him to make you cry again, probably. It was the only strong emotion he managed to summon from you so far. “So, which button are you pushing today?”.

“I’m not telling you”.

“Why?”, you ask, and he looks at the sky once again.

“This rain is freezing”, he comments, as if you weren’t under it too. “You can change the temperature of things. Can you change the temperature of the rain?”.

“I don’t know, I’ve never done it”.

“We’re trying that”.

“So that’s what you meant by making it hot”, you nod, and he chuckles.

“Sure”.

You stay in silence, waiting impatiently for him to explain what you should do now. The rain falls violently and has already soaked all your clothes and hair. You have to keep a hand up your head to open your eyes without getting any water on them. Your patience starts wearing thin.

“Why can’t you tell me what you’re…?”.

You would’ve continued the question, but you got the answer faster than you expected. So fast that your lips were still half open, like the words wanted to fall off, but his lips were capturing them in there.

It started as a soft peck; lips pressed together and nothing more. You allow yourself to close your eyes and enjoy it. He feels soft under your lips, as if you kissed a cherry. Just when you think the kiss is ending, he puts his hands on the back of your head and intertwines his fingers with your wet hair. You can feel your cheeks warm up, and not because of your magic. Not intentionally, at least. You allow him to deepen the kiss, and his tongue caresses your bottom lip gently, and then closes on it eagerly. Drops of rain wrapped both of you, but you were no longer shivering. There is a warmness inside of you that wants to escape and infest all coolness around your body. You pull him closer and he lowers a hand all the way from your back to your waist, slowly. His lips are wet from the rain and the kiss, and you keep eating them, almost devouring them. Famished for him.

He pulls away and smiles on your lips. Your eyes are still closed, but you can feel his own face flushed and heated. There is no distance between your bodies, other than the difference of heights.

“You might not need that coat now”, he murmurs against you. You open your eyes and look up.

“The rain’s tepid”, you say, and he doesn’t let you go, not just yet. You extend an arm and feel the cold drops falling a meter away. “Only on us, the rain’s warm”.

“You just heated the rain”, he smiles widely, pride dripping off his words.

“I think this was your accomplishment, rather than mine”.

“I just gave you the means”, and he gets closer once again. “Which I’m flattered of”.

“Flattered for what? You kissed me”.

“Strong emotions”, he says, and finally pulls out of you. The rain around him is still warm, but not so much as seconds ago. He starts walking around. “Your powers answer not only to your emotions, but also to the kind. When you were upset at me, your coffee boiled. When you were afraid, you made an explosion. When you were nostalgic, the same fire that embraced me, burnt Clint’s hand violently. You fire cares for those you care, and defends you from those you don’t trust”.

“Well”, you start to blush. The rain around you went back to cold, and the change made you shiver. “This is awkward”.

“This is great; now we know what your powers do. We can work in controlling them better, but… this is a huge step”, he says, stepping closer. He grabs your hands, and lowers his voice. “And… I got to kiss you”.

“You can kiss me even if it’s not cold, Loki”.

And after a smirk, his lips went back to yours.

[imagineurfavs]

SF9: Dating Juho

"Heyy I've seen your other dating headcannons for sf9 and I was wondering if you could do a dating Zuho headcannon, thank you! Also I love your work!!"

(A/N: idk how long this ask has been here but sorry for taking forever lol...also sry if this is mad long lmao juho just makes me soft)

NSFW? suggestive? stuff is under the cut lol

I feel like yall would have been friends for a looooong long time prior to actually dating officially

like yall would just be hanging out one day then he'll just like...stop and look at you

suddenly he's seeing you in a different way than he ever has before

suddenly your laughs are like music to him, every word you say to him is poetry, and he just can't get your face out of his mind

you'd notice him being a lot more shy around you than before

a lot more conscious of how long he hugs you for

how close he sits next to you

and how late into the night he talks with you on the phone

itd probably get to the point where you'd have to confront him about why he's been acting so weird

like "Juho..have I done something to upset you? Why are you being so flaky?"

and he's just be like "no...not at all y/n..."

I feel like he's not the greatest at expressing his emotions outwardly so itd take him a while to fully open up

but when he finally does...most heartfelt confession in the world tbh

things move pretty slowly in the relationship at first

he doesn't wanna overstep any boundaries so most of your firsts together would fall onto you to initiate

but once he's over that nervousness, he's way more cuddly and touchy than you'd ever think

if there's people around he'll keep the physical contact to a cute minimum lol

like he'll pull your head to rest on his shoulders or have you perched on his lap with his head resting on your shoulder

but if yall are alone, there's nothing he loves more than you both putting ur sweats on and just becoming one big cuddly pile of limbs and blankets

he uses times like this to really de-stress and recuperate when he's having a tough time

you're just his safe place ☹☹☹

he loves falling asleep just totally wrapped up in eachother

which is v sweet, but it means you have to deal with his snoring with no means of escape bc you're pretty much stuck underneath him lmao

but at least you do get to hear his deep ass groggy morning voice, might make up for the snoring idk

He'll try and cook breakfast every now and then but it never goes well so, it'll either end up being just cereal for breakfast, or going out somewhere for a bite to eat lol

loves going but to eat together, but not in like a super formal fancy way

just like a throw any old clothes on and find a diner downtown kinda way

loves to take you anywhere with a nice view

he likes sitting on a riverbank, staring at the fish in the water

or laying on the roof of his car at night, looking at the stars

anywhere where yall can kinda zone out, be in eachothers arms, and talk about nothing and everything all at once

speaking of his car lol

really likes getting freaky in the car lol

only at night though, and in the middle of nowhere so he's sure yall won't get caught

he likes the kinda forced closeness that car sex brings lol, like you have no choice but to be only millimetres apart

he's a lot more intimate in the bedroom then I think anyone would have guessed at first glance lol

very much into body worship, both giving and receiving, he just wants you to know that he thinks you're the most stunning creature to ever grace this planet

he only ever wants to make you feel as good as you make him

eating you out has become one if his favourite pastimes lol

he really loves to spoil you in the bedroom tbh, like, he gets off on getting you off lol

lives for praise too, he loves to be told exactly how good he is, how no one can make you feel how he does

he just totally adores you and wants to show you exactly how much you mean to him

there are times when he wants to be adored also though lol, sometimes he just needs that little bit of extra reassurance that you're totally smitten with him lol

he's a bit of a secret hopeless romantic tbh

he'd never show it outwardly but, you really do own his entire heart and soul lol

♡

[full-of-jams]

Tangsuyuk Love

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: College student Jungkook passes cute notes with a customer who always orders take-out tangsuyuk at his part-time job. Meanwhile he’s trying not to miserably fail his Math class, while hiding his ever-growing crush on you.

Genre: college au, f2l, fluff, smut, one shot, did I mention FLUFF?

Warnings: mild swearing, sexual content, hold your heart palpitations!

Word Count: 11.5k

A/N: I wanted to write something light and sweet before I continued with Good Riddance. It will be easy, she said. It will be fun, she said. It will be quick, she said. Ha. haha. ha. ha. Ignore my pain. Enjoy!

°°°°°°°

[09/04 18:34 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY] 1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjamppong 2 Kimchi Mandu ---------------- Note: Without pineapple! Please make the jjamppong extra spicy, my boyfriend just broke up with me T-T

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 2 Kimchi Mandu -- 6,000 1 Soju -- 0

Total: 31,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: Service! Nothing’s better than the fresh taste of soju to lighten a heavy heart :) Cheer up LatteIsHorse-Nim!

Paper Note: JK-nim, thanks for the soju. It sweetened my bitter night. This is Tokki, please give him a loving new home! TT-TT

Jungkook was fucking terrified of you. If it weren’t for the fact that he was close to failing Statistical Analysis, he would’ve considered faking a stomach flu and making a beeline straight out of the library.

“If you have a box containing 3 white, 4 red and 5 black balls what is the probability that you will draw a white ball on your first draw and a black ball on your second draw?” you asked again through gritted teeth.

You looked up at Jungkook and were met by an empty stare. Usually you enjoyed tutoring your fellow classmate. He was a smart and funny guy, maybe a bit awkward at times, but always trying his best. Today every little thing grated on your nerves. It took you every ounce of energy to get out of bed and look like a presentable human being this morning. You really didn’t want to sit here for another hour if the boy was just going to stare at you like a petrified statue. “It’s really not that difficult. You just have to apply conditional probability.”

Jungkook let out a frustrated huff and pulled at his hair, “I really don’t know, this doesn’t make any sense! Why do I even need this stuff for my major? Who cares if I pull out a white ball or a black ball first? It’s not like I’m planning on becoming Houdini!”

Sometimes you pitied him, but who on Earth had an irrational fear of Gauss distributions and probability?! They were beautiful, harmless, abstract concepts of life. Your sympathy was muffled by a thrumming headache. All the late-night crying already had you chugging water and slapping ice cubes on your face at breakfast. Right now you just wanted to go home, change into your pjs, order some tangsuyuk and binge watch Boys Over Flowers. The cringy acting and Go Jun Pyo’s luscious locks were the only things that made your miserable life feel a bit less pathetic at the moment. “Jungkook, we went over this last time. Just apply the damn formula,” you snapped.

“Why are you being so scary today?” he asked wide-eyed and apprehensive.

You took a deep breath, rubbed your temples and tried to calm your inner turmoil. It wasn’t his fault; you were just in a really shitty mood. “I’m sorry. It’s not my day today. Is it okay if we rain check? I promise I’ll make it up to you next week.”

Jungkook wasn’t used to seeing you this distraught. He wracked his brain on how to lift your spirit. “Hey, do you want to hear this math joke my friend Jin told me the other day? What do you call an angle that is adorable?”

The boy scrunched his nose adorably and waited for your response. He was really handsome, you noticed that back when you two first met. Back then you just didn’t have a reason to care. Back then you still had a boyfriend.

“I don’t know, tell me,” you answered.

“Acute angle!” he said with a timid smile.

Despite your foul mood you had to snort at his joke.

Jungkook’s smile grew wider. It wasn’t a full laugh, but at least your frown disappeared. He discovered early on that you had a soft spot for bad math puns.

Although he absolutely detested Statistical Analysis, he has come to enjoy your study sessions over the past couple of weeks. The TA of his class, Namjoon, was a close friend of Jungkook’s and a sunbae of yours. Once he discovered that his favorite dongsaeng was abysmal at reading a z-score table, he immediately referred him to you.

At first Jungkook was very reluctant to accept any help. He was a mechanical engineer for fuck’s sake! He calculated distributed load across uneven surfaces and directional derivatives all the time!

His inner protests died down during your first session when you unwittingly asked him if he was constipated while he tried to calculate the standard deviation. During your second session he noticed you liked to doodle small geometric and fractal comics on his work sheets whenever he was solving a problem.

‘What did the triangle say to the circle?’ ‘You’re pointless!’

By the time your third session rolled around he still hated statistics, but it was too late and he’d developed a hopeless crush on you. Your monologues about dead mathematicians and the beauty of an infinite series were oddly captivating. He didn’t think he’d ever met anyone who was so passionate and animated about anything in all his life.

“Is everything okay?” Jungkook asked carefully. You seemed tired and a bit wary. “I-I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it. Sorry, it’s none of my business,” he immediately added.

You smiled at his flustered state. Jungkook’s heart stumbled when your smile turned sad and you said, “No not really, but I’m sure I’ll be fine sooner or later.”

[13/04 19:12 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim! Omg your tangsuyuk is the best! I could drown in that sauce! How is Tokki doing?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500

Total: 30,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Little Tokki is doing well and bravely guarding our store! Don’t drown, but here’s some extra sauce for you to enjoy. I asked for it to be without pineapple. Hwaiting!

“Yah! Why does it smell like rotten take-out in your bedroom?” Jisoo asked.

Scowling has become your new go-to expression. “Too soon. Just let me wallow in my self-pity and sorrow.”

If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought your friend was playing ‘The Floor Is Lava’ considering how gingerly she walked across your room. Safely on the other side, she ripped open a window to let some much needed fresh air in. 

“I think you’re going to be wallowing in mold and fungus instead,” Jisoo commented with disgust. “Wallow all you want, I’m here to support you, girl. But I can’t allow you to turn your place into a biohazard zone. Isn’t your sister bothered by this?”

“My sister doesn’t care; our rooms are off limits to each other. As long as we both keep the common area clean, she won’t complain,” you said.

Jisoo sat down on your bed and patted the empty spot next to her. She immediately retracted her hand. “Eww, is that tangsuyuk sauce on your sheets?” she asked, completely appalled.

You shrugged and thumped onto your bed.

“So what are your plans for tonight?” she asked, trying to suppress a shudder.

“It’s Monday night. What plans could I possibly have?”

“We’re in college! Weekdays, weekends, they’re all the same!” your friend exclaimed. She looked at your sprawled-out figure. “I told you from the very beginning he wasn’t good for you. I know it doesn’t feel like this right now, but you’re lucky he’s out of your life. I really can’t watch you torture yourself over a jerk like him. Let’s go out to Hongdae!”

“I can’t go out. I already have plans.”

“Didn’t you just say you didn’t have any plans?”

“I lied. I have a date.”

Jisoo paused for a second, unsure how to respond. “Really? With whom?”

“Gong Yoo. We promised to kiss each other on first snowfall,” you responded listlessly.

“Yah!” Jisoo yelled and smacked your butt.

“Oww! What was that for?” you cried in surprise, rubbing the tender spot.

“Re-watching Goblin is not a date! You scared me for a second,” Jisoo said.

“How is it not a date? I meet a hot oppa, multiple hot oppas, we have dinner together, I giggle and blush and at the end of the night I get kissed to sleep.” You sat up and gave your friend a weary look. “I really don’t want to go out right now, but also don’t want to be on my own. Can’t we just stay in and watch a drama?” you asked with the saddest face you could muster.

Jisoo wanted to argue, but she couldn’t resist your pout. “Fine. But first you change your bedsheets, I’m not gonna sit in moldy tangsuyuk sauce all night. And I get to choose the drama.”

“Call!”

[16/04 17:58 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Kimchi Kimbap 1 Beef Kimbap  ---------------- Note: JK-nim thanks for the extra sauce! It was delicious. Are you a dipper or a pourer?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Kimchi Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Beef Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Soup -- 0

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!

Paper Note: JK-nim, let’s be friends? I’m also a dipper! Did you know that butterflies can’t fly when they’re cold? Here is one that I folded, sending back my warmest thoughts to you on this frosty spring night.

The first thing that caught your eye was Jungkook who was patiently waiting at the library entrance. Despite the steaming goods in his hands, his entire body was shivering. The temperature suddenly dropped last night, but he couldn’t be bothered to dig up his padded jacket when he left the house this morning.

Before you could even greet him, he shoved a hot milk tea towards you and mumbled, “Here, it’s cold today so I thought you could use something warm.”

You were surprised by this sweet gesture. “Thanks,” you reached for it and examined the drink in your hand, ”How did you know I like black milk tea?”

He ducked his head and mumbled something into himself.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

Jungkook lifted his head. His cheeks and nose were a lovely wash of pink from the cold. “You mentioned once that you’re an OG milk tea drinker, so I just guessed” he repeated again, louder. “I saw this bungeoppang cart on the way here. We can share them while studying?” he said, holding up a small paper bag.

Your heart warmed and for the first time in weeks your face split into big smile, “Sure, I love bungeoppang! We’re not allowed to eat inside the library. So how about we eat everything first before they get cold and then go in?”

The both of you took a seat on a bench. By now Jungkook definitely regretted being too lazy to find his jacket this morning, but he was determined not to let it show. He passed the bag full of bungeoppangs to you.

You happily reached for one of the fish-shaped pastries and started munching on it. Your face crinkled, steam came out of your mouth. Jungkook’s heart skipped as he watched you in fascination. Your cheeks were flushed. A sudden instinct to stroke your rosy skin overcame him. Instead he reached for a bungeoppang and took a careful bite. “Are you feeling better today?”

“A little bit,” you said between bites, “I’m really sorry about last time. I feel bad now. I ditched you and now you’re treating me to snacks.” You went on and stabbed your straw through your milk tea. “I should be the one treating you instead.”

“I like to treat you,” Jungkook said, mesmerized by the way your lips moved against the straw. He suddenly realized what he was doing and cleared his throat, “A happy teacher is a good teacher! You’re already spending your time tutoring me.”

A laugh slipped out of you, “Jungkook, you’re paying me for your lessons. But it’s okay, this bungeoppang and tea definitely hits the spot, so I’ll accept it with a grateful heart. What are you drinking?”

Jungkook looked down on his drink and gave it a shake, the black pearls swirled around buoyantly. “Banana milk tea, I prefer sweet drinks.”

You leaned back against the bench and looked up at the clear blue sky. “Sweet things are the best combat against the bitter taste of life,” you sighed. You closed your eyes and soaked in the crisp air. Jungkook felt your melancholy, he could warm your body, but he didn’t know how to warm your heart.  

“Sorry that I’m bothering you with my personal stuff. It’s just that I had a really bad breakup recently. I shouldn’t let it affect our lessons,” you said with a wistful smile as you lifted your head again.

The boy next to you remained silent. You turned and saw a contemplative look on his face. “It’s alright, everyone can have a bad day,” he finally said, “You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. If you’re never angry or sad, you won’t know when you’re happy.”

His words stunned you. Has Jungkook always been this thoughtful? You turned away from his gaze and looked down at the pastry in your hand. “They’re rhombus shaped,” you muttered in an attempt of distraction and showed your bungeoppang to Jungkook. “The fish scales,” you added when he looked confused.

“Ah yeah, the scales. It’s actually erroneous since most of the bungeoppangs depict a ganoid scale structure when in fact carps have cycloid scales to allow for a greater flexibility,” Jungkook explained.

A blank look appeared on your face. Probably the same blank look he had whenever you tried to explain the Bayes’ theorem to him. He let out an awkward laugh, “We studied the mechanics of fish scale structures in Material Science. You can correlate the flexibility of a scaled surface depending on its underlying geometric structure and material. It’s pretty cool stuff.”

“I can’t believe you can geek out about the geometry of fish scales, but don’t know how to define your probability population,” you snorted in disbelief. 

“Hey, when will I ever need to calculate the probability of two people with the same birthday in a room? I just have a hard time learning stuff I never have to apply,” he said defensively.

Then you suddenly had an idea. “Tell you what, how about this? If you pass your statistics final, I’ll treat you to the best Chinese take-out in town! You can order whatever you want!”

Jungkook didn’t want to dampen your excitement by telling you that his part-time job already allowed him to eat as much Chinese take-out as he wanted. “Okay, but don’t complain when you go broke. My record was five jjajangmyeon and two tangsuyuk in one sitting.”

You batted away his challenge. “First you have to pass your finals,” you teased.

“I’ll pass,” Jungkook said.

You smiled at his cute determination. “Then it’s a date.”

Jungkook beamed back at you. “It’s a date.”

[05/05 18:21 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (large) 2 Pork Mandu 1 Tteokkguk 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Tteokkbokki ---------------- Note: No pineapple plz. JK-nim! Happy Children’s Day! For this special occasion I’ve decided to order all of my childhood favorites. Life is too short to eat bad food. I hope today you treat yourself to something delicious as well!

“Yah! JK! Your girlfriend placed an order again!” Yugyeom yelled across the store.

A mop of black hair peaked out from the back of the shop. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s just a regular,” Jungkook yelled back.

“A regular you flirt with,” Yugyeom snickered, “I saw all the notes you left her in the system. ‘Don’t catch a cold!’, ‘Hwaiting!’ Don’t tell me that’s not your lame attempt at flirting.”

Suddenly an angry Yoongi stomped out of the kitchen. “Keep it down boys, we have guests here.”

Jungkook went up to the register and printed out the online order. “Hyung, can you make a large tangsuyuk without pineapple?”

“It’s a national holiday, there’s like two people here tonight,” Yugyeom muttered under his breath.

“What did you say, Yugyeom?”

“Nothing, hyung!”

Yoongi snatched the order out of Jungkook’s hand and gave both boys another irritated glance before he headed back into the kitchen.

“Hey JK,” Yugyeom said in a lower voice as he moved next to his friend, “aren’t you ever curious how LatteIsHorse is like? I mean, she must have some sense of humor judging by her username.”

“Sometimes. Don’t you ever wonder how our regulars are like? But it’s not like I’m ever gonna meet them or know it’s them when they come into the store,” Jungkook said with a shrug.

“You could though. Mingyu’s out on delivery, Eunwoo’s off so we have a free bike. The store is dead tonight. You could go deliver the order and have a look,” Yugyeom spurred him on.

Jungkook considered his friend’s suggestion. Every time he opened his locker a little origami bunny and butterfly stared back at him and brightened his day. It was true, he was curious how LatteIsHorse was like. “Okay I’ll go, but don’t pretend you’re doing me a favor. You just don’t want to do delivery tonight.”

<Ding Dong>

A pretty girl in a Yonsei hoodie and shorts opened the door. She somehow looked familiar, but Jungkook couldn’t place from where. Maybe he met her on campus before.

“Delivery from Golden Bang,” Jungkook said, holding up his metal box.

“Ah great! I’m starving!” the girl said.

Jungkook started unloading the box and handed the dishes to the girl. Once he was done, he lingered awkwardly in the doorway. The girl gave him a curious look, clearly wondering why he wasn’t leaving. Jungkook gathered his courage and said, “I’m JK by the way.”

What followed was a beat of silence. Jungkook could feel his ears burn.

“Err, it’s nice to meet you, I guess? Is there anything else you need?” the girl asked after the painful pause. “Ah got it! Just a sec!” She ran into the apartment and came back with her wallet. “Here’s a tip, we’ll put the dishes back outside for pick up,” she said as she scrunched a bill into Jungkook’s hand, “Thanks for your hard work. Happy holiday!” And then she shut the door right into his face.

What just happened? Jungkook was stupefied. After an eternity he finally moved and mechanically pulled out his phone. He checked the delivery order on his app. LatteIsHorse – this was the address. She didn’t recognize him. Why was he so naive to believe that she would remember him? All he wanted in that moment was for the ground to open and swallow him up.

“Dinner’s here,” your sister said as you came out of the shower. “Did you order banana milk?”

“No? Why?” you joined her at the dinner table and started rummaging through the dishes. “Where’s the receipt?”

“I threw it in the trash,” she said. When she saw you opening up the trash can and fishing for it, she added, “Gross! What are you doing? Why do you need it?”

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 2 Pork Mandu -- 6,000 1 Tteokkguk -- 4,500 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Tteokkbokki -- 3,000

Total: 38,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.

There, sitting on the table, was a small bottle of banana milk. A smile spread across your face. “I need to file it away for tax purposes.”

Your sister looked at you like you were crazy. “Let’s eat already, I’m starving. Wash your hands.”

[14/05 16:55 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [TAKE AWAY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, hope you’re doing well. I’m in the area today, so I thought I’d stop by and say hello in person! Is it weird that I feel a bit nervous?

The restaurant door wasn’t going to open itself. The past 15 minutes of you standing in front of it has proven that. You had some errands to run in Hongdae after school and decided on a whim to place a pickup order at your favorite take-out place. 

Why was it so difficult to enter a restaurant? If you steeled your nerves any more, they’d probably break from how brittle they’ve become. You just had to open that damn door.

Sometimes you wondered if you liked that place more because of its great tangsuyuk or because of JK’s little notes which always managed to put a smile on your face.

One thing was for sure, you weren’t stalling because of the tangsuyuk.

“Welcome to Golden Bang!” a bright male voice rang across the restaurant as you passed through the door.

You walked up to the register and sneaked a peek at the boy’s name tag, ‘Yugyeom’. You felt a slight twinge of disappointment.

“I’m here to pick up my order? LatteIsHorse?” you asked tentatively.

A sign of recognition flashed across Yugyeom’s face. “Of course, your order’s ready! I’ll just bag it up for you,” he said cheerfully. He walked away and quickly came back with a white plastic bag full of food. Then he printed out your receipt and handed both to you.

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: YG ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500

Total: 18,500 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

You looked around the restaurant, it was empty since dinnertime was still a while away. You wondered if Yugyeom was managing the store alone right now. At least the cook must be in. “Your tangsuyuk is really delicious. It’s probably my favorite.”

Yugyeom gave you a big smile, “Happy to hear that you enjoy our food so much. The tangsuyuk is our chef’s family recipe. It’s one of our most popular menu items!”

You wringed your hands and finally decided to bite the bullet and straight out ask, “Is JK here? He usually takes my orders when I order delivery, so I just wanted to say hi.”

“JK’s shift doesn’t start until 6, so he should be here in about half an hour. If you want, I can relay a message,” he said with a knowing smile, “Or you can also take a seat and wait for him. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to meet you.”

No way you were going to sit here for half an hour and wait up for a stranger. “Ah no, that’s alright. If you could just say hi from me, that’d be great,” you quickly replied with a flush. JK would probably think you’re a creepy stalker.

“Sure, can do! Enjoy your day!” Yugyeom said merrily as you walked out the store.

A feeling of both relief and sadness passed through you. You slowly walked down the busy streets of Hongdae as you reprimanded yourself for being so stupid. What were you going to say to JK anyway if you met him? Thanks for being nice to me? You’re the reason I don’t burst into tears every single night? You’re the reason why I don’t feel completely alone when I’m sobbing into my food over Song Joong Ki’s acting? Thanks for making me gain 3 kilos in the last month?

Whatever you said, it would’ve only made you sound pathetic.

A crippling wave of desperation suddenly washed over you and rooted you in your tracks. A single tear rolled down your face. Then another. You dropped down into a crouch and started to bawl. You couldn’t fathom how you’ve reached this all-time low in your life. Why did you feel so incredibly sad about being stood up by a stranger? Especially when that stranger didn’t even know you were coming?

“Y/N?” an alarmed voice asked. You looked up when you felt a soft shake against your shoulder.

Through your tear-blurred eyes you recognized Jungkook’s face. He crouched down next to you and asked, “Is everything okay? Are you hurt?”

You shook your head and tried to wipe away your tears. It was a useless attempt as they kept on streaming down your face.

Jungkook hesitantly pushed your hair out of your face and asked, “Do you want to go somewhere else so you can tell me what happened?”

You gave him an imperceptible nod.

His hand gently moved down to your arm, afraid that you were going to push him away. With a steady grip he slowly helped you back onto your feet. Then he slid his hand through yours and led you down the hustle and bustle of Hongdae until you ended up in front of a convenience store located in one of the quieter residential side streets. He sat you down in a plastic chair and told you to wait. After a while he came back with a packet of tissues, a bottle of water and two red bean popsicles.

You gratefully took the tissues and loudly blew your nose. A small part of your brain told you to act more ladylike, especially in front of Jungkook, but the bigger part didn’t really care and just wanted to drag you back down into the pits of loneliness. A strangled sound came out of your mouth as you started to hiccup, making you sound like a drowning cat.

You expected Jungkook to laugh at your weird orchestra of emotions. Even you found it absurd and would’ve laughed if you weren’t already crying and hiccupping at the same time. But all he did was quietly open the water bottle and hand it to you.  

As soon as you lifted the bottle to your mouth another hiccup made you almost spill the water on yourself. You held your breath for a few seconds and then took a careful sip. It seemed to work. You took a bigger sip, when another hiccup racked your body and you squeezed water all over your face.

There was a bewildering moment of shock, then you started to laugh deliriously. Forget before, this was your lowest point in life. This was so pathetic that it was hilarious again. Your laughter garbled whenever you hiccupped, only causing you to laugh even harder. You would’ve continued laughing for another long minute if you weren’t choking for air.

A small smile played around Jungkook’s mouth. He took another tissue and started wiping down your face. You hiccupped under his touch. He must think you’re a nutcase.

“I have a question. We have to do some statistical testing in my Quality Management class. What would a hypothesis look like if I wanted to analyze any deviation in a spare parts production line due to temperature conditions?” Jungkook asked.

Did he really forget hypothesis testing already? He finally managed to get it after four sessions! You frowned slightly. “You could set up a null hypothesis stating that a variation in temperature does not significantly impact the parameter of measurement in your production line. Jungkook did you seriously forget this?!” you said indignantly.

Jungkook gave you a playful laugh, “No, I think you drilled it so hard into my brain, I could probably recite all variables of the standard deviation formula if you woke me up in the middle of the night. Your hiccups stopped though.”

They did.

Embarrassment set in as you realized your predicament. Maybe your hormones were going crazy, maybe you were going crazy. You were getting whiplash from the emotional roller coaster you were on. In an attempt to hide your disgrace, you picked up another tissue and wiped away the remaining water, snot and tears.

There was tangible awkwardness in the air.

“I hope you like red bean,” Jungkook said shyly as he unwrapped a popsicle, “Red bean is my favorite. My friends keep on calling me old fashioned, but it just reminds me of the time when my mom used to buy me these after taekwondo class. I think I liked the popsicles more than I liked going to class.” He sighed in reverie and held up the popsicle for you.

You stared at his hand. You remembered how it felt against yours just a few moments ago. Firm, warm and steady. Then you looked up at Jungkook. He hid it well, but you could tell that there was concern behind his encouraging smile.

“This is so embarrassing,” you said as you accepted the popsicle and turned your head away from him, “I don’t know what is wrong with me right now. I’m usually not like this.”

“Did something happen earlier?” Jungkook asked cautiously as he unwrapped his own popsicle and took a bite out of it.

Did something happen earlier? Why did you cry? Where you really crying just because you didn’t meet JK?

“No,” you said and slowly shook your head, “I don’t know. I just suddenly felt overwhelmed.”

Jungkook hesitated before he asked, “Are you sad because of your breakup?”

Were you sad because of your ex-boyfriend?

“I don’t think so. In the beginning when we broke up I was devastated, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore,” you said more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Everyone told me I was lucky to be rid of him. I really didn’t understand why. But I think it’s becoming clearer now. Maybe it’s not sadness. Maybe it’s fear. I think I just feel lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. Maybe it scares me to know that I was able to lose myself and I don’t know if I can find a way back.”

Before you knew it, you spilled your heart, your deepest and darkest fears to Jungkook. You barely knew this boy, yet it still felt oddly comforting. He remained quiet and listened.

“I wanted to meet someone today, but they weren’t there,” you continued, “I think in that moment I just realized how utterly lost I was on my own.”

Jungkook searched for the appropriate words. How do you respond to someone’s most vulnerable thoughts? “I mean you know what they say. It’s not about how much you’ve lost, it’s about how much you have left.”

He peeked at you to check if it worked.

“Jungkook, did you just quote Iron Man at me?” you asked incredulously before a giggle slipped from your lips.

You noticed how his cheeks dimpled when he gave you an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry, I was trying to say something that would cheer you up. I’m probably not doing a very good job.”

In that second you realized how kind-hearted Jungkook actually was. Your heart squeezed. “Don’t say that. Thanks for listening to my problems. And thanks for the red bean popsicle. I also ate this a lot in my childhood. Mainly because my sister hated them. She always used to steal my ice cream out of the freezer so at some point I asked my parents to only buy me red bean popsicles. She never touched those,” you reminisced.

Jungkook laughed at your story, “Your sister sounds like a piece of work.”

“We used to fight a lot, we used to never get along,” you became thoughtful, “At some point that stopped. I think we just grew up and grew to understand and accept our differences. She doesn’t steal my food anymore. I don’t steal her clothes anymore. We may not always agree, but we respect each other’s decisions.”

“You know, for someone who just said she feels lost, you sound pretty self-reflected right now,” Jungkook mused, “Maybe you need to do the same as you did with your sister. Understand yourself and accept the differences of your past and present.”

You paused at this. He was right. You were so desperately trying to fend off these negative emotions that you never took the time to actually think. You were chasing an image that never existed. Not in the past nor in the present.

“You’re surprisingly good at giving advice. Thanks, Jungkook,” you said.

“Surprisingly? What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, offended. The glint in his eyes gave his teasing away.

Laughter pealed from you. Jungkook was captivated by the sound. He drank in the way your eyes creased with mirth and followed your fingers as they brushed back your hair.

Jungkook’s phone vibrated. “Oh shit!”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I was actually on my way to work and my boss is asking me where I am,” he said as he stuffed his phone back in his pocket.

Jungkook startled when you suddenly jumped up. “Then you should get to work! You should’ve said something sooner. I’m so sorry for keeping you here!”

“No, it’s really fine. I’ve done enough overtime. He won’t complain if I’m a few minutes late,” he said, “Are you feeling better?”

You ignored his question and pushed against his shoulders to get him out of the chair. “Go to work, Jungkook. I’ll be fine, your red bean popsicle did wonders,” you responded placatively.

When he still didn’t move, you grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the main street. Jungkook’s skin scorched under your touch. “Go to work, Jungkook,” you said again with more emphasis.

“Are you sure…?” he asked, unwilling to let you out of his sight before he knew you weren’t just going cry again at the next street corner.

“I won’t burst into tears,” you said as if reading his mind. “You were right, I need to reconcile with myself. So I’ll go home, enjoy my dinner and think about who I am and who I want to be. And you,” you said giving him another gentle shove, “need to go to work.”

Jungkook saw the stubborn look on your face. He wondered if you realized you were using your teaching voice right now. You weren’t going to take no for an answer. “Okay fine, text me when you get home?”

You waved away his concerns. “Sure. Go already,” you said with a big reassuring smile. “See you tomorrow at school!” you added before you turned around and walked away.

“You’re late,” Yugyeom said as soon as Jungkook entered the store.

Jungkook gave Yugyeom a sheepish look and only muttered, “Yeah sorry, something came up on my way here.” Then he rushed past him to the back of the restaurant and changed into his uniform.

Once he came back out he noticed Yugyeom throwing him strange looks.

“What?”

“Your girlfriend says hi,” Yugyeom said with a hint of amusement.

“Who?”

Yugyeom gave Jungkook a meaningful look, “LatteIsHorse. She ordered pick up. I think she was hoping to meet you. She’s cute. She looks like she’s probably a college student around here.”

“I know,” was all Jungkook replied.

Yugyeom’s eyes bulged in curiosity, “You know? You know she’s cute or you know she’s a student? You never told me what actually happened that night!”

Jungkook gave him a tired look and said, “She didn’t recognize me. She wore a Yonsei hoodie, so I guess she goes there. Nothing else happened.”

“Hmm, that’s weird. She was asking for you today, so she definitely knows your name,” Yugyeom said.

“Who knows, maybe she was having a lot on her plate that day,” Jungkook said with a shrug. He wondered where you lived and if you already got home safely. “Why are you obsessing over this so much?”

“Man, do you know how painful it is to watch your sorry attempts at flirting? I’m just trying to help you out, mate,” Yugyeom quipped.

“I wasn’t flirting! I was just trying cheer someone up who was obviously feeling down! It’s called being a decent human being,” Jungkook exclaimed.

Yugyeom gave him the side eye, “Yeah, that’s still not gonna get you laid.”

[19/05 18:47 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Bibimbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I visited you at the store last week, but you weren’t there. TT-TT I hope you don’t think I’m weird, I just really like talking to you. You always manage to put a smile on my face when I’m having a hard day. We’re still friends, right?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Bibimbap -- 5,000

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! I’m sad that I missed your visit to our store. I’ll try harder the next time! I added some extra bulgogi to make up for it. :) Of course we’re still friends. I don’t wish any hard days upon you, but I’m glad to hear that my words have a healing effect. In case you ever need a friend to talk to, feel free to talk to me. 010-1234-5678.

The study sessions with Jungkook continued per usual. He still struggled and had frustrated outbursts from time to time, especially when you forced him to revise probability distributions. When you finally reached regression analysis, things became easier.

Although your sessions remained the same, something in your dynamic changed. The both of you became looser and more playful around each other. He wouldn’t clamp up anymore and you felt more at ease around him. You became friends. He never once mentioned that disasterous afternoon.

At home, on the evening of the incident, you shot Jungkook a text and slumped down on the couch. Your sister was out that night, so it was just you in the apartment. Normally, the eerie quiet would’ve unsettled you and you would’ve distracted yourself from your deafening thoughts. But that night you just let them scream, yell and tear at you.

It was an excruciating process, but in the end your head was clearer, your heart calmer. You still weren’t quite there yet, but at least you made a first step out of the endless pit of desperation.

There were other things you noticed about yourself. Gradually you realized you didn’t mind being on your own anymore. You rediscovered your love for drawing and created you own mandala art. You also learned to code your own website and now had a clickable version of your cv on the go. Although you made time for yourself, you weren’t a hermit. You went out for drinks with Jisoo and soon asked Namjoon to take you along to your university’s Math Club. There you met a lot of familiar faces that you’ve encountered in class but never talked to. With them you spent animated evenings discussing stimulating math problems and exchanging incredibly bad math puns.

You also started noticing things about Jungkook. He wasn’t as timid and shy as you initially thought. Once he got over his awkwardness, he turned out to be quite a cheeky and goofy guy. He teased you or told you silly jokes whenever you were on a break. Despite his obvious aversion for statistics, he still took your lessons very seriously. Diligently listening to your explanations and trying to solve the problems to the best of his abilities. His study-mode showed you other sides of him. The cute pout he had whenever he tried to hide his confusion. Or the two little ridges which formed between his eyes whenever he was concentrated and deep in thought. More often than not you fought the urge to smooth them out with your touch or even better, with a kiss.

“Is something wrong?” Jungkook asked when he caught you staring.

“No,” you quickly said, “I was just thinking that you don’t seem to have much trouble with regression analysis.”

“I don’t know, the relationship between the variables just makes much more sense,” Jungkook said.

You looked at him and considered, “Hmm, maybe you don’t need my tutoring anymore?”

Brief dismay crossed Jungkook’s face. “My finals are in three weeks. I think I’d still prefer if you helped me revise the earlier chapters,” he said, “Unless you need more time to study for your own finals.”

Being in college meant that you were always in dire need of more time. That constant nagging voice in the back of your head telling you to study was an occupational disease. But you didn’t have to kid yourself, those four hours a week spent on Jungkook weren’t going to make or break your grade. Besides, you enjoyed spending time with him. You wondered if he felt the same.

“It’s alright, I’ll help you revise. Just don’t embarrass me on your finals. I don’t want Namjoon to tell me afterwards that you didn’t manage to calculate the mean of the population or worse, read the scoring table upside down,” you teased him light-heartedly.

Jungkook’s ears turned bright red. “That happened once!” he said, “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”

You laughed at his indignation. “Don’t forget, you’ll get endless tangsuyuk if you pass.”

[26/05 20:09 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjamppong ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I’d like to get the advice of a friend. There’s this kind, sweet boy that I really like. I would like to tell him how I feel, but he’s seen me in my lowest and ugliest moments. Maybe he’ll think I’m just baggage? I guess I’m afraid of his rejection.

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 1 Soju -- 0

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! It’s only human to fear rejection. I can completely understand. I also have someone I really like. She’s really pretty, smart and funny. Spending time with her makes me really happy, but I never managed to tell her. Maybe we should both gather our courage and cheer each other on? I’m not saying that drunken confessions are the way to go but consider this soju a symbolism for (liquid) courage.

Paper Note: This is a flexagon. Whenever you need a word of encouragement give it a flip!

Jungkook examined the hexagonal origami in his hands. On the outside it read ‘Flip Me!’

He gave the flexagon a flip. ‘JK you’re the best!’ And another. ‘The world needs more people like you!’ And another. ‘Don’t forget that LatteIsHorse is always rooting for you!’ And another. ‘Aja, aja, hwaiting!’ And another. ‘Thank you for being my friend!’

Jisoo barged into you room and flopped onto your bed. ‘Ahhh! I’m so glad you finally cleaned in here. Seriously, if I find another rancid noodle stuck to my clothes, I’ll call in a hazmat team.”

“I don’t know why you’re complaining so much. It’s not even your room,” you said.

“Hey, where are you ever going to find a friend like me?”

Your friend sacrificed many a night away from college parties to binge watch handsome oppas sweep equally beautiful unnies off their feet with you. And she wasn’t shy telling you that.

“Let’s go out tonight,” Jisoo suggested. She rolled back onto her feet and started walking around, inspecting your cleaning job.

“Our finals start in two weeks; I really don’t want to spend my weekend nursing a hangover.”

“I’m not saying you have to get wasted. Tonight is the Pre-Game Night. We have to go!” Jisoo demanded.

The Final’s Pre-Game Night was a campus-wide tradition. Every semester on the Friday a week before finals huge parties were thrown to signal the beginning of the end. It was like a dare – were you confident enough to get completely drunk and still hope to pass your finals? Naturally everybody on campus joined in and drank.

“Not getting wasted at a Pre-Game party? That’s like saying you’ve decided you don’t need to breathe. I really don’t think…”

“What’s this?” Jisoo suddenly interrupted. “LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!” she read aloud, “LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.”

You flung yourself across the room and almost tripped over your own feet trying to rip the receipts out of Jisoo’s hands.

“Oh. My. God. Is your take-out guy flirting with you?!” she asked.

“No! He’s just a friend. We send encouraging notes to each other,” you tried to explain.

Jisoo threw her hands in the air. “Okay that’s it! We’re going to the Pre-Game party, whether you want or not. You can’t tell me that the only flirting interaction you have is with a stranger who delivers you tangsuyuk!”

The place Jisoo picked out was ram packed and buzzing with energy. It was an open dorm party; all the common rooms were transformed into dancefloors. Different types of music played from each corner of the building. Crates of alcohol were stacked against the walls.

The both of you grabbed a beer and made your way through the crowd.

“You’re going to have fun tonight, alright?”

“I don’t think this works that way,” you laughed.

“Then put some effort into it. We look way too cute for it to go to waste,” she said as you roamed around the floors and explored the different areas. You looked down on your dress. It was a pretty warm night; you had opted for a flowy summer dress with a blush pink floral pattern. Jisoo was right, it was cute.

You discovered a familiar face at the edge of the crowd. “Sunbae!” you said.

Namjoon turned around gave you a surprised smile. “Y/N! Out of all the places on campus, we meet each other here tonight. What are the chances?”

He was surrounded by a group of friends, you spotted Jungkook right behind him. The boy gave you an excited wave. A slow smile spread across your face. “I don’t know, but why don’t we ask Jungkook to calculate it for you?”

Namjoon let out a hearty laugh while Jungkook groaned in exasperation.

“Do you see what I have to put up with every week, hyung?”

“Didn’t you just say it’s the best thing that happened to you?” Namjoon taunted, “You have some nerve showing up in front of me tonight. You better ace your SA finals. Do you know how many favors I had to pull to get Y/N to tutor you?”

“What do you expect me to do?” Jungkook sputtered, “Go home and lock myself up on Pre-Game Night?”

If it weren’t for Jisoo you would’ve done just that. Speaking of Jisoo, your friend cleared her throat and gave you a painful nudge in the side.

“Ah yes, uhm, Jisoo you already know Namjoon. This is Jungkook. You know, the guy I’m tutoring.”

Jungkook gave her a small wave.

Jisoo didn’t even try to hide her amazement. “This is Jungkook? But you’re like wayyy cute!” She turned to you and added still loud enough for everyone to hear, “Why didn’t you tell me he was cute?!”

The embarrassment was obvious on Jungkook’s face. You could tell that Namjoon was getting a rush out of his dongsaeng’s reaction and before he could provoke him any further you decided to jump in.

“Who wants to go dance?” you asked loudly. You turned around and headed to the dancefloor without waiting for any of them to respond.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were tutoring a hunk?” Jisoo muttered under her breath.

“He’s not a hunk. Don’t call him that.”

“Yeah but he’s hot. You made him sound like he was a nerd.”

“He is a nerd.”

Your friend gave you a glare, “Why are we arguing about this? I know you’re not that oblivious.”

Of course you weren’t oblivious to Jungkook, but you weren’t going to tell Jisoo that.

“Let’s dance.” You grabbed Jisoo’s hand and twirled her around.

Namjoon and his friends joined you on the dancefloor. The mood of the crowd was electric. Music pulsed through your veins. Drinks flowed, shots were downed, people pulled out their best, lamest, craziest dance moves. Everyone celebrated like the world was going to end.

After a while you became hot and needed a new drink. You looked around for Jisoo and saw her grinding up against one of Namjoon’s friends. She’d be busy for a while. You inconspicuously moved away from the group and decided to go get some fresh air.  

“Wait up,” Jungkook said as he appeared next to you, “are you getting something to drink? I’ll join you.”

His dark curls were slightly matted with sweat. His baggy t-shirt clung to his body. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or Jisoo’s damn voice whispering into your ear. He was hot.

You circled your arm through his and pulled him through the crowd. His muscles shifted under your touch. You grabbed two drinks from a crate and handed one to Jungkook, your nerves tingled when his hand brushed against yours. The both of you remained in comfortable silence, leisurely walking through the dorm, neither of you in a hurry to get back to your friends. You explored the facility areas, weaving through pounding and quiet parts of the building.

“You look really nice tonight,” he said after a while.

The heels of your shoes echoed against marble floor of the dark hallway. “Thanks, Jisoo raided my closet.”

“She’s really something isn’t she?”

“She’s the best. I’m grateful to have her as my friend.”

Somewhere further down the hallway you made out two figures pressed against the wall, probably trying to find a quiet place of their own.

“You also look nice,” you said to Jungkook.

“I’m wearing the same things I always do,” Jungkook said, his voice turning shy.

You were getting closer to the couple. You could see how the guy was sticking his tongue down the girl’s throat. She seemed to enjoy it from the sounds she was making. Lucky them.

Your next words were definitely fuelled by your tipsy state, “I guess that means you always look nice.” Jungkook missed a step. You had to laugh at his blunder.

The couple in front of you broke apart and looked in your direction. More annoyed about being interrupted rather than embarrassed being caught. You were about to make a funny comment to Jungkook when your heart stopped and you froze.

A string of saliva still clung to the guy’s lips. His eyes widened when he recognized your face in the darkness. “Y/N?”

Your breath hitched and your grip tightened around Jungkook’s arm. He glanced between you and the guy, the situation slowly dawning on him.

“Why did you stop? Who’s that?”, the girl whined.

“No one,” the guy responded as he returned his attention to her and they started making out again.

Jungkook didn’t know if he wanted to puke or punch that guy. A sharp pain in his arm brought him back to his senses. Your nails dug into his skin. He put his hand around yours and loosened your iron grip.

“Let’s go,” he said and quickly pulled you past the couple. You followed him in a daze. He stopped once you were outside of the building, hidden away in a quiet corner.

His hands reached for your face and he lifted your eyes to his. “Breathe.”

You closed your eyes, let out a long breath and let your head fall against the wall behind you. The horrible encounter replayed in your mind. You had to open your eyes again.

There he was right in front of you. Worried Jungkook, kind Jungkook, beautiful Jungkook.

Your hands reached behind his neck and you pulled him a bit closer. You tried to decipher his gaze, it was dark and yearning. Everything was a haze, the alcohol in your blood made you daring.

“Kiss me,” you whispered.

His mouth crashed against yours. Your hands slipped up into his hair and your bodies entwined. You opened your lips and sucked in his hot breath. Your tongues found each other; he groaned at your taste.

He moved one of his hands down your side until he found purchase on your leg and hitched it up against his waist, pressing his body further into you. You let out a moan when his hips ground into yours.

All your senses drowned in Jungkook. You drowned in his scent, you drowned in his touch, you drowned in his heat. You tried to use Jungkook to drown out the grotesque image from before. Suddenly the heat of the moment disappeared, and a cold shower ran down your spine.

You broke away from your breathless kiss and put your hands against Jungkook’s chest to put some distance between you. He gave you a disoriented look.

“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have kissed.”

Jungkook’s eyes grew wide and alarmed. “Did I do something wrong?”

His lips were swollen, his hair was mussed. You wanted nothing more than to pull him back in, but you couldn’t. Not here. Not like this. He deserved better.

You pushed yourself off the wall and gave him a small shove. He immediately let go of you and stepped back. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like this,” was all you said before you ran back into the building.

The next day you woke up to a splitting headache and a heart full of regret. You really needed to talk to Jungkook and explain to him why you ran away the previous night, but you were too much of a coward to pick up your phone and contact him. You decided it was better to talk to him in person at school.

The following week at school you waited for him in the library. Your heart was in your throat. Your prepared speech played in an endless loop in your head.

‘I’m sorry I ran away. I shouldn’t have kissed you in that state. It wasn’t fair to you. You deserve better than that.’

You looked down on your phone to check the time. A message blinked. You opened and read through it. Your heart sank. He wasn’t coming. He wanted to study the last week before finals on his own. He thanked you for your time.

Slowly you got up and packed your bag. You blew it. You wanted to do him right, but you only caused him pain. Thinking back, you realized he gave and gave and gave and all you did was take. He was right to stay away from you. There was no way he’d be happy with someone like you.

The week passed and finals week commenced. You immersed yourself in your exams and tried to get over your heavy heart. You were pretty sure you aced Geometry II, but the Numerical Analysis exam was nothing but a blur.

Although your heart ached, you didn’t fall back into the same dark pit of the past. You didn’t feel lost, you got on with your life. Nobody noticed the Jungkook-sized hole in your heart except for you. You wanted to talk about your feelings, but you didn’t think Jisoo or your sister would understand. They’d probably just tell you to get out there and find a new guy.

Another week passed. You were walking out of your professor’s office, finalizing the details of your summer internship, when you bumped into Namjoon.

“Y/N! What are you doing here? Aren’t you off for summer break yet?” he asked.

“I was just discussing my internship with Prof. Kim,” you said.

“Ah you’re participating in his research program?” Namjoon said, “I heard it’s really interesting, he’s intense though.”

“I think intense is fine for me, I need something to do with my brain. Otherwise I’ll just go crazy,” you said with a smile.

“Speaking of intense, what did you do to that kid?” Namjoon suddenly asked.

You tensed. Did something happen to Jungkook? “What do you mean?”

“Did you brainwash him or something? He got a 98 on his SA final! When I handed him over to you, he was still asking me why the positive and negative z-scores tables had different values,” Namjoon said in awe.

Relief washed through you and your chest filled with pride. “Watch out sunbae, I might be coming for your TA position,” you said with a wink.

At home you sprawled out on the couch. Your sister’s classes ended earlier than yours so now she was away with her friends travelling the countryside. Your mind wandered as you stared up at the ceiling of your quiet apartment. You really wanted to call Jungkook and congratulate him, but you didn’t think you should. He clearly didn’t want to be in contact with you, you hadn’t heard anything from him since his text canceling your study sessions.

A pang of sadness washed through you. It should have been a happy moment for the both of you, you should be eating tangsuyuk together right now. You really wanted to tell someone about your joy and your grief.

Then you suddenly remembered your friend. Your friend who never judged and always had something wise to say. Maybe he would understand the conflicts of your heart. You got up and dug through the receipts on your desk until you found the one with his phone number on it.

You hoped he wouldn’t think you were crazy, but then again, he was the one who offered himself to talk to you any time. You typed in the number and hit call. Your phone dialed when suddenly the number displayed switched to a name. Jungkook.

You quickly hit the cancel button and stared at your phone. Did you accidentally hit Jungkook’s contact? Was your phone broken? This time you typed in the number more carefully and hit call. Again, the display switched to Jungkook’s name. You hit cancel.

Your heart began to race. You opened up Jungkook’s contact and compared it with the number on the receipt.

Holy shit.

JK was Jungkook. Jungkook was JK.

The stranger who cheered you on and made you smile whenever you felt down was Jungkook. You combed through all your receipts and reread them one by one. What was the probability for this to happen? This was so bizarre, but it made so much sense. Jungkook was the kindest person you knew. Why wouldn’t he be kind to a stranger who needed some uplifting words and comforting tangsuyuk?

[13/06 18:20 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

3 Tangsuyuk (large) 6 Jjajangmyeon ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I hope you’re doing well! Can I ask you for a strange favor? Would you mind delivering today’s order to me? I would really like to meet you and thank you in person for always being by my side! <3

<Ding Dong>

The doorbell rang. Your heart pounded painfully in your chest. You slowly walked up to the door and opened it.

“Delivery from Golden…,” Jungkook’s voice faltered.

“Hi JK-nim,” you said quietly. You opened the door wider. “Thanks for coming today.”

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” he asked.

You had to smile at his look of utter confusion. “I live here. Come in, you can put the food on the dining table.” You turned around and walked back into the apartment.

Jungkook hesitated before he followed you inside. He moved up to the table and unloaded his box. He tried to steady himself. “You’re LatteIsHorse-nim?” he asked skeptically, “I’ve been here before. Last time someone else opened the door.”

He has visited you before? “Oh, that was probably my sister. I live here with her. She’s out travelling right now.”

“So you’re on your own right now? Why did you order so much food?” he asked. A giant mountain of neatly stacked dishes graced the table.

You came up and pried the metal box out of his hand. Then you moved in front of him and unclasped his bike helmet. He flinched at your sudden closeness.

“To celebrate. Congratulations on passing your Statistical Analysis exam. Namjoon told me you passed in flying colors,” you said in a gentle voice. “I promised you the best Chinese take-out in town, didn’t I?”

Jungkook still looked shell-shocked and simply stared at you.

“I’m sorry about that night at the Pre-Game party. I’m sorry I ran away. I owe you an explanation.”

Jungkook regained his wits and swallowed. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it, we were drunk. It was a mistake.” He looked down and tried to turn back around.

You grabbed onto his hands before he could move away. “Jungkook, look at me.”

He stopped turning, but his eyes remained on the floor.

You took a deep breath and squeezed his hands. “I really like you. I’ve really liked you for a while now.”

His eyes shot up to your face.

“The reason why I ran away that night was because I felt guilty. I probably would’ve ended up kissing you anyway, but in that moment, I kissed you because I wanted to forget. I didn’t want our first kiss to be like that. I wanted it to be the me who liked you and not the me who tried to drown out her shitty ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

There was an unreadable look in his eyes. Your heart fluttered in nervousness. “How long have you known I was JK? How long did you know I had a crush on you?” he asked.

You could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the butterflies in your stomach beat like crazy. “Since today. I was sad because I thought I couldn’t share the promised meal with you. I wanted a friend to talk to, so I thought to call you. You who was always kind to me, even when I wasn’t kind to myself. Isn’t fate strange? We cheered each other on to find each other.” You had to laugh at the irony of it all.

Your hand hesitantly moved up to his face and stroked across his cheek, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you sad.”

Jungkook melted against your touch. “If I’m never sad, I won’t know when I’m happy.” Then he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours.

It was a sweet but sad kiss. Filled with happiness and sorrow. Every touch was filled with an ‘I missed you’ or an ‘I’m sorry’.

Jungkook pressed you against the edge of your dining table, he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You both deepened your kiss. Your hands snaked through his hair and pulled him closer into you. Jungkook braced his hands against the table and instinctively ground his hips against your core. You moaned his name at the sensation. The both of you broke apart to catch your breaths, you pulled at his jacket and removed his layers of clothing.

You stilled at the sight of his bare chest. He was truly beautiful. Your fingers traced along his skin and marvelled at its silkiness. Jungkook shuddered under your touch. His hands moved under your shirt and you both lifted it off your head. Then you gripped his hands and slowly led them around your back, urging him to take off your bra. You wriggled out of your jeans and laid yourself completely bare in front of him. Jungkook stopped and stared at you, equally amazed.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

Your heart swelled and you pulled him back into a kiss. Both his kisses and his hands left a burning trail down your body. His mouth sucked on the soft skin of your neck while his hands moved across your breast, across your stomach, lower and lower. Wetness gathered between your legs.

“Jungkook,” you sighed. The muscles of his back shifted under your touch.

He released your neck with a loud smack and looked at the artwork he created. He still couldn’t get over how overwhelmingly beautiful you were. Your cheeks flushed, eyes bright and his name at the tip of your tongue. He felt himself strain against his confines.

“Please,” you whimpered. You looked down at his hand and tried to silently command him to touch you.

He kept his eyes trained on your face when his fingers moved lower and slid through your folds. Another moan left your lovely lips. He teased you with his touches, gathering your wetness until he finally pushed down where you wanted him most. Your hands dug into his back, your hips bucked, and you threw your head back in pleasure. He steadied your hips with his other hand and slowly pushed a finger inside of you. Another loud moan echoed through the room.

Jungkook was transfixed by you. He added a second finger and started pushing in and out. Your eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and small breathless pants left your mouth. Jungkook increased the speed of his movement and marvelled at the way you reacted under his touch. Then he moved his mouth to your breast and closed his lips around your nipple. You raked your hands through his hair and arched into him. Your core tightened around his fingers. All your nerves were on fire.

You pulled him away from your breast and guided his mouth back to yours. Your tongue traced his lips and you swallowed his moan. You wanted more, you wanted him closer. His fingers curled and his thumb pressed down on you. Jungkook held you tight as you shuddered and fell apart around him.

He rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingled as you both panted into each other. He slowly removed his hand from you and traced his mouth with his slicked fingers, then he moved them to your lips. Your tongue licked the tips of his fingers. His grip tightened around your waist.

“I want to feel you,” you said.

Jungkook shuddered at your words. “Where is your room?”

“The door behind you.”

Jungkook lifted you off the table, you tightened your legs around him and gave him another kiss. He walked you both to your room and gently laid you down on your bed. He took off his pants, then slowly moved onto the bed and hovered above you.

“Tell me what you want,” he said.

Your fingers caressed his face. “I want you to be happy.”

Another shudder ran through him. “I am happy. What else?”

You traced his eyes, his nose, his lips. “I want to be the one making you happy.”

Jungkook couldn’t contain himself anymore. His heart felt like it was about to explode. He covered your body with his and pressed himself into you. Your eyes rolled back as he entered you slowly. You felt so full you wanted to burst out of your skin. You could feel how the Jungkook-sized whole in your heart filled up again.

He rocked into you and took your breath away. Your nails raked across his back and left red lines against his smooth skin. Jungkook ducked his head into the crook of your neck and moaned against your skin. Every pull dragged pleasure out of you, every push brought you closer together.

You wanted more. Jungkook gave you more.

You wanted him closer. Jungkook pushed deeper into you.

With every moan, Jungkook pushed harder, pushed deeper. He wanted to melt into you. He wanted the lines between you and him to disappear. Your desire was his desire. His pleasure was your pleasure.  

Jungkook could feel you tightening around him. He moved his mouth over yours and gave you an ardent kiss. The light of your desire turned brighter and brighter until it burst apart into a thousand little flames. You cried against his lips and let the heat consume you. Your body pulsed around his and the overwhelming sensation brought him right over the edge with you.

The both of you laid on your bed and clung to each other. Neither of you willing to let the other go. Your pounding chests beat in tandem. Jungkook stroked his hand across your hair and kissed your head.

“I want you to be happy too,” he said.

“I know,” you said as you smiled against his chest, “You make me happy.”

Jungkook pulled you tighter into him and you remained silent for a while. His hand traced lazy patterns against your skin. Your breathing evened out.

“Are you allergic to pineapple?” he suddenly asked.

You looked up at him in surprise. “No. Why?”

“Because you always order tangsuyuk without pineapple.”

“Oh. That’s because my sister hates pineapple.”

Jungkook frowned, you pulled yourself up and kissed the little ridges between his eyes.

“What?” you asked.

“I think the jjajangmyeon is all soggy by now,” he said.

You had to laugh. “Probably, but the tangsuyuk should still taste great.”

Jungkook kissed you with a smile. “You’re right, tangsuyuk always tastes great.”

°°°°°°°

02/05/20

Copyright © 2020 full-of-jams. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, repost or translate without permission.

[erectionsandtea]

Roller rink skate date headcanons! (poly party) insp. by this post, for @mike-wheeler-is-gay (I know you wanted byler specifically and I usually write poly party, but I tried to stick some extra byler in here for you, I hope I did it justice and that you like it!)

So many paragraphs this should really just be a fic, I'm sorry

- Mike is super tall and gangly is absolutely the worst skater in the party (tied only with Lucas, who put on his very first pair of skates and promptly fell on his face and they weren't even on the rink yet, they were still on the carpet area)

- the moment Mike steps into the actual skating floor, he falls bc he's tall gangly uncoordinated Mike, and Will is just standing there rolling his eyes, like "babe, you're a mess" but he doesn't mind bc it means he gets to hold Mike's hand (and hold Mike in general) while he helps his bf balance and skate

- and Mike is like "I don't deserve you, why are you even with me, I'm so awkward" (poor self deprecating bby), and you know Will would respond with "are you kidding, you're amazing, why are YOU with ME?" (also a self deprecating bby), but then he falls and pulls Will down with him (aka on top of him lol)

- and they laugh, and just as their lips touch, the moment is ruined by Max zooming in their direction screaming "get up before you get run over!!" And she manages to avoid them (being the zoomer that she is) but Lucas has to swerve and falls the fuck over ofc (luckily the rink isn't super crowded that day so nobody's in any real danger)

- and Dustin is looking at byler like "this isn't even that hard guys, come on, are you even trying??"

- El and Will have totally been going to the rink (sibling bonding yo) and everyone realizes that's how they got so good bc El is totally the best skater in the group

- except for Suzie who is a skating queen

- El and Suzie totally having races from one end of the rink to the other

- Max totally joining them and they let her win, just once

- Dustin joining them and after he wins twice in a row (pure luck), Max and El pretend cross his path and bump into him, totally fucking him up, and Dustin's just like "are you shitting me?" (but it's all in good fun, everyone knows that)

- El and Max holding hands as El helps her get better at skating, bc Max is decent on skates but better on her skateboard (bc how do you wheels on both feet separately ??) (like skiing vs snowboarding)

- byler doing that thing where holding hands facing each other, and Mike learning how to actually move his feet and skate forward, and that's propelling Will backward (and Will constantly throwing praise at him and Mike grinning so big bc he's doing it! lol)

- Will and Mike holding hands as they slowly skate around the edge of the rink

- Mike needing to stop a moment and grab the wall to keep himself up and steady, and Will coming around in front of him, his hands over Mike's,and they stand there all adorable and then kisses (except Mike has to duck down bc Will cannot stand on his tippy-toes in skates)

- eventually Mike is like "I need a break" (from falling and stuff, tho he has gotten better) and he goes to sit down

- and then El comes over to join him bc "you looked lonely" (he isn't really lonely, he just kind of has a resting bitch face sometimes, tell me I'm wrong, am I actually wrong tho ??)

- they sit together in silence, watching the rest of the group playing some weird skate-tag game (rules at the bottom)

- Mike is watching Will with a smile on his face, laughing and having fun, and he says to nobody, really "what did I ever do to deserve him?"

- El replies "probably whatever I did to deserve you" and they look at each other and smile and then cute lil Mileven kiss

- their hands reach over (cos they are sitting like RIGHT next to each other, no space)

- they continue to sit there, hands clasped, her head on his shoulder, watching the group and sometimes making comments to each other and laughing

- after a while Will comes over to check on his bf and sis) ("I don't know which is more bruised, my knees or my ego" -> Mike, "you're doing really well!" -> El), which is actually kind of nice for El bc she wants to go skate some more but she doesn't want to leave Mike by himself

- before she leaves tho, she wants a kiss, so still holding Mike's hand she gets up and wheels around to face him and grabs his other hand and is like "I want a kiss" bc she's just blunt like that (it's a good thing)

- and mike laughs at her bluntness bc SO CUTE, and so Mike gives her one of those super cute kisses where he puts his hands on the sides of her face, you know? And she has to balance herself by putting her hands on his knees (Sorry, I just had to get a Mileven kiss in here)

(so much detail in those moments ^ I'm...sorry?)

- so Will sits there with Mike, and they hold hands and share kisses and say cute sweet things to each other, and honestly they spend more time looking at each other than anyone/thing else

- Will goes and buys them one giant drink to share bc boys gotta stay hydrated (can someone please draw this or maybe ALL of this idk ??)

- the rest of the group annoys them (but not really) by hanging over the wall and saying "AWWW" super loud and making kissy faces

- and then El comes back over later and says "okay, that's enough sitting down, we're going back skating, come on" and she grabs Mike's hand and Will's hand and tries to pull them up but it's hard bc wheels (like she's about to slip and the boys have to grab her arms to catch her), but the boys comply and go back to the rink floor

- Dustin and Suzie can totally do skate-dancing, whatever that is (and they totally get applause)

- Max skating by everyone so many times and being like "zoomer!" and everyone is like "pls stop, we get it"

- Dustin trying to tell help Lucas how to skate by actually explaining how the skates and the rubber stoppers work, and Lucas not getting it and just being like "can you explain in English please??" And Dustin throws his hands up like "I fucking give up, you're hopeless"

- Max learns how to skate in a small circle (basically just turning around without stepping) and she's super fucking proud of herself and does it constantly

- Max eventually needs to be stopped by El and Lucas bc "babe, you're gonna get so dizzy" (you can decide who says that 😊) but it's too late bc she's already dizzy

- Lucas and El lead Max off the rink floor and she just immediately falls down to sit on the carpet bc so dizzy and El falls down next to her bc hand holding (she gets pulled), and Lucas sits down too

- the girls can't stop laughing and Lucas is looking at them like "tf is wrong with you guys?" (but not really), also he's just smiling at them and laughing with them bc goddamn they are so cute, his girlfriend is the most beautiful girl in the world and seeing her as she is right now just inflates his heart

- eventually Max can't stay upright so she lies back and El follows her and they are just lying there together (Max on her back, El on her side facing Max, no space), giggling so hard, they can't stop laughing for some reason (I think it's bc when one laughs, it makes the other laugh too)

- Max is like "you, boyfriend, kiss" and so Lucas complies

- an employee has to come over and say "you can't lie down here, it's a safety hazard" and Lucas is like "we're sorry, sir" and he's like "babe, we gotta move"

- so he gets the girls up and they bring max to a bench where she can sit, instead of sitting tho, she lies down again, on the bench with her head in El's lap, and then elmax kisses as El plays with her hair

- El and Max basically take over the bench that Mike and Will were sitting on, and they also steal the boys' giant drink (barely a quarter empty) cos hydration

- Will and Mike trying to kiss while not holding the wall, but fucking down AnD having his eyes closed throws Mike way off balance bc what a klutz, and then he falls and Will is fuckin laughing and he feels bad but also it's funny

- so then Will gets down too (more gracefully but lbr, anyone can be more graceful than Mike, without even trying) and is like "it's okay, we can do this here" and then sitting kisses

- El trying to help Mike but she's having too much fun and ends up just speeding around while Mike tries to catch up with her, and she has to keep going back for him

- Mike feeling kind of embarrassed bc his gf is amazing while his own skating is questionable, and he confides this to her and is like "why are you with me, I'm so clumsy and awkward" (self deprecating again), but El makes him feel better by telling him that she's with him bc she loves him and actually she thinks it's kind of cute that he's not that good at skating and she likes being the one who helps him for once (bc he's helped her for so long with so much)

- and then Mike gives her one of his lil mike-smiles (you know the one I mean, like the one right after he kisses her for the very first time, in season 1)

- and then a Mileven kiss, but Mike almost loses his balance again like he did with the byler kiss, but El can sense it's about to happen and has to break their kiss to hold him up (she's holding both his hands, fingers intertwined), but it's okay, they just smile at each other share a little laugh at the situation and how uncoordinated he is, and they scoot their skates really close together in a sort-of huh type thing

- arcade games after!! (But I'll put that in its own separate post 😄)

- rules to the weird skate-tag game: 1) the wall is the safe zone, but you can only stay there for 10 seconds at a time 2) you cannot untouch the wall for one second and then go back to touching it for 10 seconds, you have to actually leave the wall and skate (HOWEVER you can try to skate from the wall on one end of the rink to the wall at the other end) 3) you are allowed to skate around the edge while touching the wall, as long as you only do so for no more than 10 seconds 4) whoever is 'it' cannot hover around those on the wall 5) crashing into someone does not count as tagging them 6) no tag backs

~

I tried to get equal parts of all the ships in this one but I know I failed miserably, I'm so sorry lol (clearly you can tell who I ship the most)

If you want to add more (I will if I think of any), send me ideas, or request anything, please feel free! 😀👍🏻

[wyattvsmusic]

Kid Cudi - Entergalactic ALBUM REVIEW

Aside from his amazing career, the biggest thing I took away from Kid Cudi’s A Man Named Scott documentary was that he said that he is done making sad music. Over his very long career, Kid Cudi has been known for making some of the best depressing music of all time that has impacted generations of people who have gone through periods of depression, anxiety, and loneliness with music that talked about his own mental struggles, helping break down the stigmas of toxic masculinity of the time and normalizing mental health conversations that were not being had at the time he started. His last album, 2020′s Man On The Moon III: The Chosen showed Cudi zoning in on those same topics but from a more hopeless lens that made it seem like his most positive album compared to Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven and Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin’. Musically, he rapped significantly more on that album and started to show how he has been influenced by the younger generation of rappers he helped shape. Before MOTM3 was announced, Kid Cudi had hinted at an album that also served as a soundtrack to an animated Netflix series of the same name, which is this new album, Entergalactic which is inspired by his song Enter Galactic (Love Connection) from his first album. After listening to the album and watching the Netflix special, the inspiration from the song is very clear as the song is a love song and the new album and series are quite romantic. The show is about Cudi’s character falling in love with his neighbor in a building he just moved into while also aspiring to become a successful artist. Though the plot may be very simple and predictable, it’s a sweet love story with incredible animation and an impressive cast that is perfectly complimented by its love song-filled soundtrack. Because this is Wyatt vs. Music and not Wyatt vs. TV, this review is strictly about the album but because the album is meant to compliment the show, there is going to be overlap. The content of the music is not surprising given the plot and Kid Cudi has also made many amazing love songs before. I like how it starts with New Mode and how Kid Cudi is finally ready to be more positive and hopeful in his music and he doubles down on that with the album’s following track, Do What I Want which is an enjoyable song about being free to move how he wants and have fun with his friends. The next 4 songs are all about falling in love, whether it’s singing about the feeling of love at first sight (Angel) or about wanting to commit to a relationship with a love interest (Willing To Trust). Ty Dolla $ign, who also stars in the show sounds amazing on Willing To Trust and also sounds good on Can’t Shake Her. He’s always been a feature killer and he sounds best over this kind of production. While there is little variety on this album in terms of content, it doesn’t totally kill the album considering the entire album is made to go along with a show that is about one story. However, there still are some more upbeat songs that are less romantic, including the more rap-heavy Can’t Believe It with 2 Chainz and the festival-ready Burrow with Don Toliver, Steve Aoki, and Dot Da Genius which could’ve sounded comfortable on Man On The Moon III. Can’t Believe It especially sounds great in the tracklist as it breaks up the pace of the album nicely so the listener doesn’t get too tired of the sound, which wasn’t a problem for me but I also like a little variety. That song also has one of the more interesting beats as the thing that holds the replay value of this album back is the variety in production. I think the production is good and that it works great for the soundtrack aspect but it simply could’ve been stronger. I think Kid Cudi sounds great, whether he is rapping, singing, or humming. I liked Entergalactic on first listen but watching the show on Netflix made me really like the album a lot more as it really brings you into a visually-appealing world that brings out real emotions in animated characters which isn’t easy to do. After this album and most recent tour that Kid Cudi has been on, he has said that he wants to stop making albums, which is disappointing but understandable. If this is his last album which I am almost 100% sure it won’t be, it’s far from his best work but it is a strong way to go out because it was such an ambitious way to package an album and animated series together but both are very good so it doesn’t feel as sad. 

Fav Tracks: Do What I Want, Angel, Willing To Trust, Can’t Believe It, Livin My Truth, She’s Lookin For Me

[eggluttony]

How has zobotnik been doing with his diet lately

When he began, he really didn't think he could do it, he had the longing to try but he'd become so used to his bad habits that made him gain all this weight in the first place and it was difficult to shake it after doing it for the past few years. He really let himself go with all the quick and easy junk food and fast food commonly replacing proper meals and all the comfort eating he did to cope with the stress of his job. He would look at his old uniform with a feeling of longing but also complete hopelessness of ever fitting into it again. But he couldn't let it go and held on to the dream, even though he'd just keep eating too much for comfort or pleasure as it brought him relief of stress from his hard job and the insults he'd get from prisoners for his weight. He had totally lost all self restraint and he would feel guilty about it whenever he reflected on it for too long.

All the time he spent wishing he could go back to the way he was in the old days, he was only getting fatter. Over time it became difficult to fit into his current outfit, the shapewear he used to try to hide his growing belly tightened, his office chair creaked and struggled until his fat ass could no longer fit, his habits got out of control and he’d do a lot more comfort eating. He was going in the opposite direction for a while, going back seemed impossible and he let it get him down. But this time he really does try to do it differently and lets memories of the old days fuel his motivation to stick to a diet. He starts by trying to cut down on the amount of junk food, restrict food intake in general in hopes of tackling his overeating habit, and also tries not to make fast food orders as often, despite how tempting it is when he craves it and how it's quick and easy after he's done a lot of work and just wants to get to eating.

Another thing that ends up helping is when he meets more of his counterparts besides modern. When Modern finally visited him again after not seeing him for a while, it was after he'd met Boom and had gained quite a bit of weight from all of Boom's cooking. He’s looking thicker and chunkier, his belly is even bigger, and he's still trying to adjust and get used to being so fat as he waddles around, gets winded easily, and keeps eating greedily. Zobotnik is very disappointed in him and judgemental because of his own insecurities, so he asks modern how he could just let himself go like that and get that much fatter. Modern tells him that part of him actually likes it, and Zobotnik definitely can't understand enjoying the weight gain, only the stuffing. But it makes him fear getting as fat as him if he keeps indulging in it, especially when modern reminds him that he isn't that much smaller than him. It's part of what finally makes him at least attempt to restrict harder than before.

Modern introduced him to Boom and he seemed to be happy to meet him at first for being a version that's already a good guy because then he wouldn't be thinking about how he should really be putting him in the Zone Jail, like he should with the other versions that he goes against the rules just because he's into them. He was friendly with him but quickly started to wish he could look like him. He couldn’t stop looking at his slim waist, the contours of his body and his developing muscles. He clearly has an excellent diet, a good work out routine that’s paying off, and doesn’t fall into bad habits like he does. It reminds him of his old self that he misses a lot and he envies him to the point he starts acting off and rude and even modern has to tell him to cut it out. But Boom isn't really offended, only confused but is understanding when he learns of Zobotnik's insecurities because he's been insecure for other reasons.

As for Casino Egg, he'd be very much in denial about how he feels about him at first because he’s not immune to his charms and great hugs heheh but he’d try his hardest to act like it because he’s also absolutely appalled by his size and bad habits. Especially because he cares even less about modern when it comes to gaining and does it without restraint. It’s even more frustrating to him when he sees how he seems to be so pleased with himself for being so massive, even when Zobotnik can’t help but blatantly stare in judgement and even make jabs at him for his greediness whenever he stuffs his face around him. He was already worried at the thought of getting as big as modern but he wouldn’t be suprised if modern eventually ended up as big as Casino Egg as he seemed to be on his way lately. And if he met Shahryar that would push him into wanting to make a change immediately!

When it was just him and modern, he thought he was doing pretty good with cutting down his meal amount and portion sizes and when Casino Egg comes along, he also makes him feel a lot better about how he appears to eat so little to him in comparion. But having Boom there who has the healthy eating and perfect portion sizes down expertly makes him realize that he's still eating quite a bit more than he should and that makes him a bit upset. He become much less confident in his progress when he compares to Boom in many ways because it was already a struggle for him to cut down as much as he has and he's finding it hard even to just stick to that, let alone trying to eat even less like him. He’s back to feeling pretty guilty while he eats his still too big portions. It both makes him want to try much harder but also discourages him because having it under control like Boom seems unrealistic and unimaginable.

When modern first caught Zobotnik putting on shapewear, he was surprised but figured it was just to lower chances of being insulted for his belly by the prisoners as he knows how annoying it can be. But he never imagined he'd be insecure because he's never known that feeling, so he still tried to playfully tease him to find he was very touchy about it. Things started making sense after learning his insecurities with how he acted around him, Casino Egg, and Boom and eventually figured he wanted to lose weight to feel better. But he didn't realize just how much until he saw his old uniform and photos and was shocked because he’s the one fat counterpart that wasn’t obese at some point in adulthood and looked like a completely different person, he was the lean fit type and modern could see how he got this job looking like that. He was hot back then and still is but in a completely different way after letting himself go.

Casino Egg probably found out about his insecurity from modern just blurting it out without thinking and Zobotnik definitely wasn't happy about it but would rather have him know than Boom. Casino Egg was surprised to find out that he was actually bigger than he appeared to be because of the shapewear and he couldn’t see what was so wrong about that, he thought his belly was cute and didn’t need to be hidden. He tried to tell him he doesn't need to when he’s around them because the now fatter modern and especially him make his belly look much smaller in comparison, even without him wearing his shapewear. It helps a bit as modern and Casino Egg’s appalling weights give him a boost of confidence but it’s not enough, he still fears the possibility of ending up like them if he isn’t careful and just makes him want to try even harder so he doesn't get fatter and become an immensely greedy slob like them.

Boom finds out by walking in on Zobotnik trying to put his shapewear back on after letting it free for a while for a break. He catches him struggling and cursing as he tries to pull it over his belly comfortably because it's feeling a bit tighter. He mumbles about how embarrassing it is, feeling ashamed that it’s getting tighter when it should be getting looser with his recent efforts. He says a thought aloud that reveals he just can’t help but be jealous of Boom, not knowing that he’s standing right there. That way Boom finally gets to figure out why he's been acting off around him without him having to explain that he wears shapewear but he's so embarrassed for him to find out. Boom tells him there’s no shame in in it and it makes him want to try to help him feel better because he knows how it feels to be insecure and he doesn't want him to feel the same.

Zobotnik is still very knowledgeable on workout stuff with all the exercises he did with his earlier warden work days but he can't get back into that yet, he needs to focus on losing weight and start with simply becoming more active in general first. He's not so knowledgeable on the healthy eating and dieting he needs to do first as it's been a while and it's not easy to get back into the mindset. Boom Eggman clearly knows how to do it better, so he allows him to help him with the healthier eating, counting his calories, and gradually cutting down so he can drop his overeating habit.

Since his biggest problems lie in his eating habits, he offers to help with meal preparation so he can get the right calories and portions and help him realize there's still good food to enjoy. Boom makes great healthier food for him that he's not enthusiastic about at first as he craves unhealthy junk food and fast food but once he tries it, he grows to enjoy it and feels much better eating something tasty but guilt free. Boom is there to encourage him the first couple of meals and maybe feed him so he can find it fun and Zobotnik enjoys the praise and belly rubs he gives when he's done. He wishes he could eat more for his big belly to feel full but at least he doesn't feel guilty when he only has a healthy meal in his tummy that will do good for him. He'll eventually get used to eating the smaller meals and if he keeps it up, it will eventually be enough.

He keeps it up and manages his longest attempt at a diet without completely giving up in a long time. Usually he'd fail this after long but with modern Eggman around, it becomes harder for him to fall off it when he doesn't give him the chance. Because whenever modern visits, he constantly clears his fridge and pantry of all his unhealthy fattening junk food and sugary drinks. He's already much bigger and fatter since the last time Zobotnik saw him and he finds it quite appalling, how he greedily stuffs his face non-stop like he's lost all restraint lately. And it's true as Boom has been fattening him up so well and making him feel so good that he's stopped caring about his weight limit for a while as he fully indulges in his desires.

And if Zobotnik ever caves and orders for fast food to be delivered to his office before he gets back to it because he thinks he's not going to have time to eat anything else, modern pretends to be him and answers the door. Zobotnik has come back a couple of times to find modern happily stuffing his face with his food and enjoying it all for himself. No matter how full he is, he'll make sure he eats it all so Zobotnik can't. It of course pisses him off when the greedy fatass steals all his food but it's helpful because he has no choice but to find something healthier to eat as ordering more junk or fast food when he shouldn't have even done it in the first place would be shameful.

Any time Zobotnik tries to sneak off to have a cheat meal of any kind, if modern finds out he'll come in and eat it all for him. He loves having an excuse to gorge on tons of junk food and fast food! He always reminds him it's for his own good and tries to make him feel guilty for almost slipping up. He's struck a nerve a couple of times when he says he doesn't need to eat all of this because he's been looking fatter lately. Zobotnik is especially sensitive to that teasing when he's trying to lose weight but it definitely works in making him remember to be careful and make the better choice. Modern also reminds him that Boom already has food pre-made for him and he eventually starts to remember he doesn't have to settle for unhealthy stuff anymore when he's making sure he has things ready.

They're both very helpful when they team up like that, modern taking care of the unhealthy fattening food by eating it all while Boom makes the healthier stuff for him instead. So he has no choice but to eat better and start being more careful with calories, portions, and healthier food choices. And while Zobotnik is on his journey to lose weight, it helps contribute to modern putting on a few extra pounds too! It's a job well done when they both get what they really need heheh. But there are ups and downs, sometimes Zobotnik gets a chance to mess up while neither modern or Boom are around, so Boom has entered to find him with a stuffed tummy that he feels very guilty about. But he rubs it and comforts him, telling him it's okay and he shouldn't give up because he's been doing so well. He knows what to say to give him courage and keep him going.

He's delighted when his shapewear starts to feel a little looser over time, it's the first thing he notices. But when he looks at himself in the mirror both with and without the shapewear on, he's still not happy with the size of his belly. Boom Eggman sees him pouting at his reflection and tells him not to forget his progress just because he isn't where he wants to be yet and he will get there if he keeps trying his best. Zobotnik feels like it's worth it and is very happy whenever they weigh him in and he gets to find out how much weight he's losing, it helps when Boom celebrates with him for every single pound lost because every bit of progress deserves praise and pride and it motivates him to keep at it to make it even more impressive and do what he didn't think would ever be possible.

He becomes very grateful for the way Boom supports him through both good and bad and helps keep him motivated. He had no idea that having someone support him would be so beneficial and it's also nice to have a friend, as he can tell that Boom enjoys hanging out with him and it serves as a great bonding experience. It's the best outcome after Zobotnik once acted cold towards him, that's far behind them now. In fact, Zobotnik starts developing a bit of a crush when he loses enough weight to not feel insecure around him, so he can focus on and admire his body instead of just being jealous. Especially when he's feeling good about himself for losing weight and Boom has been improving his own body too and the results are showing.

He becomes fascinated with him, he finds himself staring without realizing and daydreaming about him. He wonders why his heart starts beating faster when Boom walks in wearing shirts that cling perfectly to his body and accentuate his muscles. He doesn't know why he gets a fuzzy feeling when they sit together and he receives compliments from him for losing weight and gradually slimming down. At one point, he surprises them both when he leans in to kiss his cheek to thank him after being fed a meal. He apologizes profusely as he didn't know what came over him but Boom giggles and leans in and kisses him on the lips and Zobotnik blushes hard and can't stop smiling.

They decide to have dates that involve less food and more activity so Zobotnik can have a great time while also feeling good about keeping active. They start with simple walks together while Zobotnik still has quite a bit of belly on him, so he doesn't overwhelm and overwork him. It's a bit tricky for him at first because it's been a while but once he gets used to it, they go for longer and more often and gradually introduce other fun outdoor activities. When he finally loses enough weight, slims down enough for him to be satisfied, and gathers the courage to get into working out again, the two become work out buddies and their idea of a date is going to the gym!

While Boom continues to help him with dieting and managing his calories, Zobotnik can teach him a lot of things he knows in terms of exercise and work out from all his years of experience as a way to return the favor. But unlike Boom, he goes more extreme and aims to go full bodybuilder to get bigger muscles and he loves how much he gets to eat to help him gain muscle this time instead of just fat. He eventually ends up looking even better than he did when he was last in shape and Boom loves seeing his confidence increase and knowing he helped. He praises him a lot and Zobotnik laps it all up, it definitely gets to his head eventually as he's the most proud he's ever been and his ego fully returns heheh

Zobotnik doesn't see modern and Casino Egg for a while during all this while Boom gets to see quite a good bit of the development and process over time. They're going to have fun showing off their progress and Zobotnik's amazing transformation to them together when he finally feels it's time. I'll be sharing some concepts for it soon ;)

[bitch-for-a-rainbow]

So there's a blanddcheadcanons post that says that "Kara is the mortal avatar of Rao" and I really don't like it, especially in the context of SG 3x04 (The Faithful). At best, as was pointed out to me by a friend with whom I discussed this post, the House of El is likely blessed and somewhat sponsored by Rao, which probably doesn't do much but produce Krypton's greatest heroes, given what the word "El" **means** in Kryptonian. I'm interested in your thoughts on this (pls post your answer).

    I reject the headcannon solely because if it were true it would mean Coville was right and I fucking hate that bitch.

     In all seriousness, though, this is an idea I've seen a lot and I'm not a huge fan of. I don't know much about Raoism beyond what appears in the show and that which can be inferred off of the show. One thing I would point out though is that El in Kryptonian (while obviously being intended to mean God by the original comic writers) can mean Sun or Stars, and since the Kryptonians in the show are, as far as I can tell, monotheistic, and worshipped only one particular star, the El family is not necessarily named God. It would, however, signify their enormous prestige on Krypton and contribute to the famous El pride (or rather, arrogance). I’m not sure it would necessarily have to mean anything more than that-- that the Els are a respected house who have produced a variety of successful politicians, civil servants, and scientists. And (this time reaching a little bit) that they are perhaps so old and respected that their house name was once a title. 

      There is a certain allure to the theory, for sure. Kara is a paragon character. She always, always does what she thinks is right, regardless of the cost, personal or global, and regardless of what other people might think of it. She has a very direct moral compass, and there are only a handful of times when she doesn’t follow it, all of which involve saving Lena. Ship who you want, but it is notable that Kara routinely prioritzes Lena’s life over that of others given the rarity of that happening otherwise. She never even considered breaking Rick Thompson’s father out of prison when he kidnapped Alex, and all he’d committed was bank robbery. Kara has lines she does not cross (though murder is clearly not one of them). She is a character that has seen some of the worst that sentient life is capable of, has seen more death and suffering than most people could imagine, and she came out of it with an all-encompassing desire to protect others. She lives to give people hope. Plus, the humor of having Kara-- the one person most offended by the idea of being an Avatar of Rao-- turn out to be an Avatar of Rao is great.

       But, I would also say that having Kara want to do good because she is the avatar of a benevolent god is reductive and not particularly true to her character. It is true that helping and protecting people is a large part of the core of who Kara is. But there is a difference between altruism and the self-destructive, bordering of suicidal desperation to save absolutely everyone that Kara practices. And to anyone who doubts the suicidal bit, I direct you to the season 1 finale where Kara literally goes on a goodbye tour because she thinks if she goes out to fight Non she’ll die. She still goes because she has hope, but that hope is that she can at least save Earth with her life. She doesn’t fight because she is certain in the ultimate victory of good and justice. She does it because she more afraid to lose another family than she is to die. Kara doesn’t become Supergirl and risk her own life because she believes in good, she does it because she can’t stand to listen to people suffer-- because she has suffered. To use Alex’s words in 1x13 “You fight everyday to keep people from struggling like you have.” Notably also in 1x13, Kara wakes up from the Black Mercy and her first words are “Who did this to me?” and then she goes after Non in what could arguably be described as a homicidal rage-- a rage that is fueled entirely for personal reasons, not the greater good of Earth (though that comes as an added benefit), which is.... not very befitting the avatar of a benevolent god. 

     A major part of season 1 is Kara dealing with grief and rage. She nearly breaks a guy's arm in episode 6 because he screamed at her for damaging his car, to hell with the children he'd almost hit with it. In season 3's Midvale flashbacks we see her first put both hands through a lunch table, then attack Jake when she suspects him for Kenny's death. She gets better at controlling it as the seasons progress, but during Crisis she very nearly melts Lex. Also not particularly godly of her. 

     Then there is the fact that so much of who Kara is is shaped by fear: fear of the government, fear of humanity, fear of abandonment, and fear of herself. In her civilian life, Kara is, for the most part, unnoticeable. She's polite, soft-spoken, doesn't wear a lot of bold colors or styles, and is often a pushover. As shown by her encounter with Red Kryptonite, Kara would not dress or speak the same way to people without the pressure of hiding her identity (though much of her dialogue is purely the loss of her "don't be an asshole" filter, some of it is stuff she had every right to say before and just didn't). I have always found that episode to be very interesting purely for the fact that Kara doesn't actually seem to be seeking harm on others so much as seeking their attention. Her argument with Alex is almost entirely about how much she hates having to hide and pretend to be less than she is. Kara drops Cat off the balcony and then catches her. She attacks the police when they point weapons at her but doesn't kill or even hurt them that badly, instead of destroying the car they're using as shelter. Red-K removed her inhibitions, made her angrier, yes, but if her goal was to actually hurt people, she could have done so-- would have done so, and with great ease. She goes to a public bar and uses super strength to smash bottles by flicking peanuts. Why do that at a crowded bar? Why not just flick potato chips at the windows in her own apartment?

      This is Kara at her absolute worst-- but does she seek out the DEO agents who shot her out of the sky? Does she go after Maxwell Lord or Non? No. She tries to make people pay attention to her. Her most shameful and hideous desire is for people to give her respect. (Admittedly, respect gained through fear, but still.). Kara's a nice person-- much, much nicer than average-- but a lot of that "nice" is just her avoiding conflict to avoid attention.

      Kara is a good person. Kara inspires people. But that is because Kara gets up every day and chooses to be good and to inspire. It's one of the reasons I enjoy Non as a villain so much-- he and Astra are Kara's narrative foils. They also remember Krypton and grieve its loss. They also were trapped in the Phantom Zone. But where Kara had the Danvers to convince her that some good people existed and would risk themselves just to help others, Non and Astra had Alura sentencing them to eternal suffering rather than helping them save their planet (through the means they thought necessary) and then landed on Earth and found it headed on the same path as the planet they'd just lost. Kara had people to help her grieve. Non and Astra were surrounded by misery. They lost hope. Kara discovered it.

     Kara is the Paragon of Hope because she has been hopeless. Because she has suffered so much, seen so much, and because she chooses to believe in a better future. She didn't have hope her first time in the Phantom Zone. She didn't even have hope for a while on earth. From what we can gather, Kara's choice to start actually believing in the future was a gradual shift that occurred sometime after Kenny's death and has lasted her ever since. For Kara, hope is learned. She chose to hope and she won't let it go, and to assign that incredible victory off to her being a God is an insult to her growth and to her character. 

   Now I personally thought “The Faithful” handled this concept very well. 3x04 is one of my favorite episodes of television in general, let alone in Supergirl. Season 3 is my second favorite season, and that says a lot for its good episodes when the bad of season 3 is so, so very bad (To say nothing of the episode to episode production value, we have the waste of Argo, Mon El’s return as obviously he’s grown he has a beard Mon El, and whatever the hell was going on with Kryptonian genetic engineering eclipse causing witches). To this day I don’t know why Kara had magic dreams. The show did nothing to explain it and I can’t imagine up a reason. 

     But “The Faithful” works because it highlights the whole paragon part of who Kara is. When you realize that every person in the room of Coville’s cult is a person she has personally saved-- that hits hard. Especially since only a fraction of the people she’s saved would ever set foot inside that building with the totally not-creepy, entirely wholesome way they deliver the invitations. (“Your daughter is special. She has been chosen. As have you.”) It works because it focuses on how the average human must view Kara, the ones who don’t see her argue with her sister over potstickers and crush her phone when she gets mad. It works because of how desperately hard Kara tries to be a human. It works because the writers know that we, the audience, do not see Kara as anything but a regular person with irregular abilities: a kind and remarkably devoted person, but not a god.